#john left the kids alone when dean was like 5 and sam was an INFANT and got violent with dean whenever something happened under his watch

[lakemichigans]

i haven’t been following any news about the supernatural prequel but i’m not going to watch it because i know they’ll be sucking john’s cock, balls and all as if we didn’t get enough of that in the show already

[ms-rampage]

Eden’s Gate: Aftermath Chapter 7 - Now That The World Is Ending

Warnings: Cuteness, Gabriel holding baby/toddler Daenerys

Word count: 2.4k

Summary: In the final chapter of Aftermath, as the bombs drop down to Earth above their heads. The Winchesters have a surprise guest living with them. 

Guest OCs: Just the usuals. 

Guest Characters: Archangel Gabriel [Supernatural], John Seed [mentioned]

Note: Next is NEW DAWN: NEW HORIZONS. Taking place 15-17 years later in the year 2035. THANK YOU FOR READING MY CRAP!!!!

Far Cry New Dawn x Supernatural [crossover with OCs]

********

“Gabriel?!?” Kate mutters in confusion, and also in surprise. He looks up at the two sisters, with a soft smile on his face and weakly mutters “Surprise to see me?”. That question was directed towards Kate, and she smiles back in return. 

Surprised and also happy to see her Archangel. 

“How did you g-” Paige asks, before stopping herself when she realizes it was a stupid question, “That was a stupid question”.

They help him up, and take him to the main room. Sitting him down on the living room couch.

“Gabriel?!?” Mandy mutters as she walks into the room. In shock and surprised to see the wounded celestial, bleeding a little through his shirt. 

Paige leaves her mom, sister and the Archangel by themselves to go get Kenny and the others. Mandy then stands up, and goes to grab a first aid kit, or something that can heal an Archangel. Leaving Kate and Gabriel alone. She takes a seat in front of him. They look at each other for a few seconds. 

“What happened?!” she asks, opening his shirt, and cleaning his wound on his stomach. 

He shrugs, and softly groans in pain “I’ve sorta lost my powers”.

She furrows her eyebrows at him, “Sorta?!?”. 

He sighs, “I’ve lost some of my powers when I was cast out”.

She looks at him, confused, “Cast out?. What do you mean cast out?”

He looks at her, “I’m sure you saw the giant mushroom cloud in the sky”. She nods, “Yeah, we all saw it”.

He shifts in his spot on the couch, “Did you see what else appeared in the sky shortly after?".

Shaking her head, “No, we all ran down here. What else happened?”.

He looks her in the eyes, and says in the most dramatic way possible, “All Angels were cast out of Heaven”. 

Her eyes widened, “What?!?. All of them? Everyone?". He nods his head slowly, she stands up from her spot, and paces. Worried about her boyfriend, her friends and everyone she got to know in Hope County. Playing with the bracelet Wheaty gave her. Her thoughts are interrupted by the wounded Archangel on the couch in front of her. 

“A boyfriend huh?” he asks, chuckling and looking up at her.

She looks at him confused, “What?!?”.

“You got a boyfriend?" he asks, "Or had one".

She tries to hold back her tears, biting her lip “Not helpful Gabe” she mutters softly. Standing there in front of him, her hands resting on her cheeks, looking at the floor. Her anxiety builds up, and her hands become shaky. 

Gabriel stares at her stomach, just something about it looks different to him. It looks slightly bigger, like she put on some weight. He can’t seem to put his finger on it, but whatever it is he can feel some strange essence, or some sort of energy coming from it, coming from her body. She has a slight glow on her face, but it could be sweat. 

Kate notices him staring at her stomach. “Why are you staring at my stomach?!?” she asks, glaring over at him. Breaking his focus on her slightly bigger stomach. 

He looks up at her, anticipating for her to slap him for asking the question, “Don't hit me for asking this but, did you gain weight??”.

She scoffs at him, rolling her eyes, and crosses her arms. Taking a few steps away from him, “You never ask those types of questions to a human Gabe”. 

He tilts his head, curiosity getting the best of him, and motions her to come towards him, “Come towards me”. She heeds, and walks towards him, standing in arms reach. He places his hand on her 7 and a half week baby bump, and feels why his curiosity is concerned about her belly. 

His eyes widened, he looks up at her with his eyebrows raised “You’re pregnant?!”. 

Feeling somewhat hurt that his special human is pregnant with another man's child. 

For a moment she forgets that she’s carrying another tiny human being inside her, she nods her head, “Yeah. I am”.

"And it's not mine?!" he jokes, totally not hurt that his human is pregnant. Moving his hand away. 

She scoffs again, "We both know the outcome for that". Taking a seat next to him.

"You were there, you knew I'm pregnant" she tells him. He looks at her confused. 

"I was where??" he asks, very confused. She looks at him in disbelief,  thinking this Trickster is messing with her. "In my hallucination trip. A few months ago" she tells him. 

He looks at her like he has no idea what she's talking about. Shrugging, "What are you talking about??". 

She shakes her head, "It's nothing. Forget it". She drops the hold thing, she knows what she saw in her bliss hallucination a few months ago. 

A few moments later, Paige walks back into the living room with Kenneth, Cody, Martin, Mark, Nate and Adrian. 

"Gabriel?!?" the 6 men say in unison. 

The Archangel chuckles, "Did you all rehearse that?!". 

He catches them all up on what was happening in the world. Angels, all of them were all cast out of Heaven, God tried to wipe out all of humanity with a nuclear explosion. The Collapse. The Reckoning. The Apocalypse. The End. The whole world is up in flames. Literally. Heaven is shut down with no one but God up in cloud city. 

*****

May 2019. 7 months later

It’s been 7 months since the bombs were dropped. After several hours the bombs stopped falling, and you'd think everything would be safe to go back out. Nope, knowing that you're gonna have to live underground in a bunker with 20 other people for the next 6 and a half years. After 2 and a half months the world has now ended but it's only just begun. 

No other bombs, or explosions have been dropped by The Man upstairs. The World was going through the route of regrowing, and being reborned. Starting over again.

On May 2nd, Kate gave birth to a healthy baby girl. A few weeks earlier on April 16th, Paige had a C-section giving birth to triplets, 2 boys and 1 girl with the help of Cody, his wife and Adrian’s wife Amanda delivered all 4 of them. Having all the right equipment in the bunker infirmary, stored away.

Jeffrey Dean Winchester-Smith named after her cousin, Dean. Weighing 7 pounds, and 5 ounces.

Thomas Sam Winchester-Smith also named after her cousin, Sam. Weighing 7 pounds, and 5 ounces. 

Bianca Rhea Winchester-Smith because she's always liked the name Bianca. Weighing 7 pounds, and 4 ounces. 

Daenerys Arya Brienne Winchester named after Daenerys Targaryen, Arya Stark and Brienne of Tarth all female characters from Game of Thrones. Being the smallest of the 4 infants, weighing 6 pounds, and 5 ounces. 

Cristina is over a year old. 1 year, and 6 months old. She is now walking, she has almost all of her teeth, and can say 7 to 10 words. She is able to comprehend language, and know from right from wrong. From good from bad. 

The triplets are a little over a month old now, Daenerys is 2 in a half weeks old. 

During her pregnancy, Gabriel was very protective of Kate, even though they were all living underground in a huge bunker, and couldn't leave for another 6 in a half years. 

Cradling her 20 day old daughter in her arms, Kate feeds her a bottle of formula. Gabriel was very cautious around her, afraid that he'll somehow hurt the tiny infant. Even though he has very little to no powers left in him. 

He tried to keep a safe distance from her, Kate constantly reminded him that he didn’t need to worry about hurting the infant. That he and Daenerys will be fine. He is very fond of humans, of course, unlike most celestial beings. That was his one fear, hurting her. 

"You wanna hold her?!" she asks him. He looks up at her, stammering. "Uhh, do-do you want me to?". 

She smiles at him, "It's fine with me" she responds. She hands him the tiny infant. He holds her, cradling her and she starts to fuss in his arms. Making her typical baby sounds. 

He groans uncomfortably, holding her away from him, stammering “Uhhh w-what is happening?!?”.

“She’s fine” she reassures him, fixing her baby blanket, “It’s a normal infant reaction”. 

She starts to calm down, yawning and falling asleep in Gabriel’s arms with her finger in her mouth. 

“What’s happening?!?” he nervously asks, “Is she dead?!?”. 

She looks at him, chuckling, “She’s not dead. She’s asleep”. She takes the infant from his arms and puts her in her old bassinet. 

Paige comes in holding one of her triplets. “Hey” she says, looking down at the one month old infant in her arms. 

“Hey” Kate responds, “Which triplet is that?”. 

She groans unsurely, and checks the diaper, “Thomas, and/or Jeffrey”.

“It’s Thomas!” Kenneth calls out from the next room over, “You’re holding Thomas!”. 

She points in the direction where her husband's voice came from “The 2nd one. Thomas Sam”. 

“How’s the scar?” she asks, referring to her C-section scar. 

She groans uncomfortably, “It’s healing. Slowly, but it’s healing”. 

*****

Later that night, Everyone is in their own bunker rooms. Kate is in hers, changing Daenerys into her night onesie. 

Talking to the infant in a soft voice. Gabriel, who is a few rooms over, can hear Kate and the tiny human with the very little powers he has. Leaning against the headboard of his bed, listening to her conversation.

He knows he’s Kate’s Guardian Angel, he saved her several times, he gripped her tight, and raised her from perdition when she was a somewhat innocent teenager. He’s her soulmate as well. He has had these feelings for her since forever. He knows she would be better off with her boyfriend before God dropped the bombs on humanity, but he’s most likely dead. John? He’s dead as well, and he knows damn well that Daenerys is his kid. He knows Kate is ashamed that she’s his kid, regardless she loves her. 

He couldn't possibly imagine how Daenerys would've turned out if John Seed had lived. How he would've treated Kate, how that demented, psycho family would've treated a pregnant Kate. A premarital baby. How that sadist psychopath would somehow ruin Kate and their baby.

He gets up, and goes to her room. Walks down the hall and knocks on the door. 

“Yeah?” she responds her voice muffled from behind the closed door. He opens the door and steps inside her bedroom. 

“Hey” he sighs, “How she doin’?”. 

“She’s doing great” she answers, taking a seat on her bed. Gabriel takes the leap of faith, not holding back.

“I just wanted to get us over with” he tells her. Kate looks at him confused, “What are you talking about?!?”. 

He lays down on her bed, laying on his side with his hand prompt up against his cheek. Looking up at her. 

He lifts up his free hand from behind him, and holds a diamond ring between his index and middle fingers. Her eyes light up, and gasps softly. 

“You already know where I’m going with this” he chuckles, “Will you marry me? Blah, blah, blah. I love you. Blah, blah, blah. You could do so much more better than that idiot Yes man John Seed”.

She laughs softly at his comments, “So. In all seriousness” he continues, “Will you marry me?”. 

She looks at him, “You already know the answer” she whispers to him before passionately kissing him on the lips.

Katella Evyanna Winchester is set to marry an Archangel. Archangel Gabriel. She always thought of herself as the human he had to protect. That’s all she thought she was to him. His human.

*****

A few years later, November 2022, the children are all 3 years old, Cristina turned 5 years old that same month. 

Daenerys, the youngest of all the children, wakes up at 6:00am, which is unusual for a child at her age to get up at, and feel energetic.

Her and the other 4 Winchester children share the same bedroom, across the hall from their parents rooms. She stumbles to Kate and Gabriel’s room, pushes the door open and climbs onto their bed. 

“Mommy! Daddy!” she says loudly, waking them up. 

Kate groans, as her daughter steps on her with her tiny feet. She sits on Gabriel’s chest and playfully slaps his cheeks. Waking him up.

“What?” he asks, half asleep. She giggles softly, “Wakey wakey”. He chuckles softly, slowly sitting up. 

He looks over at the clock, “It’s 6 in the morning, how are you so energetic?!” he asks the 3 year old child. 

She lets out a playful giggle, and jumps up and down on their bed. 

She looks up at the child bouncing on the bed, having the same exact eyes as John. Those baby blue eyes that she got from him, a reminder that this little bundle of joy and happiness is also John Seed's daughter. 

He gets up out of bed and carries the 3 year old child down the bunker hallway towards the kitchen. 

Despite him being an Archangel with very little of his powers. He manages to get 3-6 hours of sleep, and eat solid foods. Not wanting to use his very little powers in fear that he’ll hurt any of the children living in the bunker, he manages to get by without using them, he knows the world above them is going through some change, a huge massive change that'll change everyone's lives. 

But finally being able to marry the human he fell in love with, and fathering her child, he was more than happy to be a part of their lives.  

Paige and Kenneth walk into the kitchen shortly after, her holding Jeffrey and Thomas in each of her arms. Kenneth holding Bianca, and Cristina following behind him. 

"Here you go" Paige mutters, sitting the two toddlers in their seats at the kitchdn table. Everyone else wakes up half an hour later. Adrian, and his wife Amanda. Mark, his wife Dana and 2 kids. Nate, his wife Ellen and 3 kids, Martin and his fiancée Megan, Cody and his wife Brandy. Mandy, Barbara, Kenneth, Gabriel, Paige, Kate and their kids. 

One bunker with 20+ people, and 1 Archangel living in it. 16 adults, and 10 kids. Having to spend another 2-4 years underground while the Earth regrows, and the radiation goes away. Its only a matter of time, and they can go back to their normal lives, or at least they think its their normal lives. 

Hopefully, a new hope. A New Dawn. New Horizons will come their way.

[hypermania]

So classes are over for the summer and I need a new hyperfixation and I want to get into Supernatural for the Destiel angst but 15 seasons is a lot so do I need to watch all of them or can I skip all the episodes without Cas? Or do you have like an overview of what happens or what the angstiest parts are so that I can just watch those (I don't care about spoilers)? I'm not necessarily against watching all of it. I just don't want to watch stuff I don't need to.

okay so i just wanna say for the record that i'm not recommending you get into spn. but if that's what you want to do, i'm not going to stop you. so. with that being said: there are definitely episodes you can skip (and in my opinion, episodes you should skip for the sake of your mental health and emotional well being. hello dog dean afternoon). unfortunately, i don't think you can just jump right into season 4 when castiel shows up.

personally, i don't really enjoy the first three seasons. i think they're largely boring and very dated (and i find the show to be the most tedious when it's focused solely on the brothers, which the first three seasons are exclusively, obviously) but they are essential to setting up the plot for seasons 4 and 5 when cas does show up and more importantly they're essential to understanding why dean and sam are the way they are. there's a lot established in those seasons about how they were raised and how that influences the dynamic between them as adults (and how they interact with and form relationships/bonds with other people) and all of that information is important, in my opinion, to understanding why dean's relationship with cas is so special. so. yeah. you kinda need to trudge through that. (and hey a lot of people really enjoy that era of the show so you might actually like it.)

as for an overview? well it's fifteen seasons so i'm not sure how that’s even possible tbh but here is a rundown of the deancas saga based on what's immediately relevant to their relationship in my mind (and by immediately relevant i mean what i can remember in this moment), starting with the foundational stuff:

when dean is 4yo and sam is 6mo, a demon gets into their house and burns their mother, mary, alive

their father, john, hands a 4yo child his infant brother and basically says "this baby is your responsibility for the rest of your life" and that is not an exaggeration and it is crucial to understanding the rest of the show

john becomes obsessed with finding the demon that killed mary and drags his kids all over the country, hunting monsters and tracking down the demon. he often leaves them alone in motels for days/weeks at a time without enough food and/or money to pay for food. he is dangerously negligent at best.

he drinks too much and it’s implied that he is sometimes physically abusive (although only with dean)

dean shields sam from a lot of the worst parts of their childhood (though not all of it because he is also a child) to the point that sam didn't even know about the supernatural until he was a fair bit older, did not know that dean was the one who carried him out of the burning house until some time during the first season of the show, did not seem to know that john was physically abusive, and did not know that sometimes when dean would be "gone" for periods of time it would be because john would send dean away out of anger (there is an entire episode centered around a boy's home that dean lived at for a time as a teenager after he was arrested for stealing food because he didn't have enough money to feed him and sam, and when john found out about it he told the cops to "let him rot" in juvie)

dean is largely defensive of john, saying things like "he did the best he could"

sam is very critical of john; they did not get along (sam's first steps were to dean. which is very cute. that's his mommy :) )

sam left to go to stanford when he was 18yo and john did not like that at all. he was like ‘hey kid fuck you and don't come back. how dare you want a life of your own and any kind of happiness.’

the pilot starts four years later, towards the end of sam's final year at stanford. he hasn't spoken to dean or john since he left. dean shows up at the home sam shares with his very normal girlfriend, jessica. he has normal friends who don't know anything about the supernatural. he's living a normal life. everything is great. he's happy. and very normal. so normal.

sam is like 'what are you doing here, brother??' and jessica is like 'brother? i thought you were an orphan?' and dean is like 'ouch!' (im jk. kind of. but you get the picture.) dean says the very iconic line "dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and sam's like cool whatever and dean's like no dude i'm actually worried and sam's like UGH fine whatever i'll hang out with you for the weekend you very sad and lonely man (it is SO sad how lonely dean is... but he pastes on a pretty smile and by golly does he try to play it cool) and in what will set the precedent for the entire fifteen season run of this show, they introduce what could be a truly compelling narrative parallel and manage to completely miss the mark by unnecessarily sexualizing the situation (the first episode is about a woman in white who killed her kids and then herself and can't pass on or find peace and instead of using that to make some commentary about how mary's death has essentially doomed sam and dean to this life of misery and pain that they can't move on from, they just make it about hot ghost sarah shahi trying to fuck unsuspecting dudes and then killing them but this is irrelevant to anything really).

so anyway. they solve this supernatural case. find out some information about where john might be or might have gone. and sam's like 'okay cool well now that you have a lead i'm going back to my very normal life' and dean is like 'but.... but....' because he is SO sad and SO lonely but then when sam does go back to his home, jessica is on the ceiling burning, the same way mary was. and so... sam is back in the supernatural game. he leaves his normal, standford life behind.

gonna be honest: i don't really remember the specifics of what happens in s1-3. sam and dean hunt supernatural things while trying to follow the trail their piece of shit father is leaving for them while he refuses to return any phone calls. (they do eventually at some point kill the demon.)

dean leaves their dad tearful voicemails like 'dad i'm scared and i don't know what to do. please help' and john just doesn't care. dean is dying at one point and john just doesn't care. but dean still defends him and sam still hates him (every once in awhile sam is like 'you know maybe dad was just doing his best' and dean gets very quiet and looks away and you just KNOW that deep down he's like 'actually fuck that guy maybe')

at some point it is revealed that the demon that killed mary was in their house to feed sam some of his blood and mary basically just got in the way; he also fed his blood to other babies (we'll come back to that)

at one point the demon possesses john and dean realizes that john is possessed because he tells dean he's proud of him lmaooo

ummmm. dean is going to die at one point (i don't even remember why anymore) and john trades his soul for dean's life but before he dies he tells dean that if he can't "save" sam, he'll have to kill him and dean is like what the fuck does that mean!!! but of course john doesn't tell him. so dean is just left with this burden of maybe having to kill the brother that he's spent his entire life being responsible for. john winchester is the worst is what i'm saying.

so the demon blood babies. they're all sam's age and obviously grown now. they've all got some weird power. sam's is psychic visions at this point i think. in one episode all the grown demon blood babies are in this abandoned town where they're playing survival of the fittest and have to kill each other off for some reason and sam is like 'hey what if we don't kill each other???' because he's actually a very kind and empathetic and good boy but the rest of them are like 'nah murder seems cool' and they pick each other off one by one and then it's just him and hardison from leverage and hardison kills him just before dean finally shows up to the abandoned town and, well, dean thinks his entire purpose in life is to take care of sam so that just can't do. so he summons a crossroads demon to make a deal and trade his soul for sam's life. a deal like that is supposed to give him ten more years on earth (don't remember why john's was immediate but who cares fuck that guy) but the demon is like 'hmm no you can have one year' and dean is like 'fine i'll take it because i don't value my life or myself at all.'

the entire third season is about trying to get dean out of that deal i think. they become frenemies with a demon named ruby who appears to be helping them (spoiler alert: she’s not!).

other things happen that aren't unimportant but that don't necessarily matter to the deancas plot too crucially so i'm not going to get into any of it but there are some excellent and fun characters along the way

the 2007-2008 writers guild of america strike happens and spn s3 is cut short and they aren't able to write dean getting out of his deal so at the end of s3... dean gets dragged to hell (and it's the best damn thing to ever happen to this show tbh)

s4 starts four months later (apparently time passes differently in hell so four months on earth is the equivalent of forty years in hell so dean has spent forty years in hell and he is... well, he's very obviously not okay and he's kind of never really the same again)

dean crawls out of his grave (marked by a cross which is fucking hilarious because this is a man who thus far does not believe in god and does not believe in the existence of angels)

he's got a mysterious handprint burned into his shoulder/arm that basically says "property of castiel"

he has no idea how or why he got out of hell

sam's been hanging out with ruby (and by hanging out with i mean he's been having crazy hot sex with her and drinking her demon blood because it boosts his demon blood baby powers) and dean is not happy about this; there is an obvious rift between sam and dean because dean can't talk about his time in hell and sam is doing... well he's hanging out with a demon and doing what seems like really bad things (but tbh sam actually is totally in the right imo, even if the narrative bends over backwards to make sam wrong and dean right but whatever)

nobody, including ruby, knows how or why dean got out of hell and everybody is shaking in their boots over it

then castiel walks into a barn like a badass while dean shoots at him and stabs him in the chest and cas just looks down at the knife like 'thats cute, sweetheart' and dean says "who are you" and cas says, "i'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition" and they just expected everyone to be normal about that for the next eleven or so years???

also, cas looks right into dean's soul and says, "you don't think you deserve to be saved" and dean straight up does not know what to do with that because it's true but also here is an ANGEL telling him that actually he does

so. cas is obviously an angel and he’s the one who pulled dean out of hell. the angels, in general, are not exactly.... great. they are self-serving and they’re dicks, generally speaking. they pulled dean out of hell because they want him to stop the apocalypse by helping to keep lucifer locked in the cage he's trapped in in hell. that's what s4 is about.

dean and cas bond. it's... intense. they put a lot of trust in each other for how little they know each other and how little they've been through together at this point. but it is very interesting to watch dean develop this sort of friendship with someone who is not sam and who he does not have to take care of or be responsible for (especially while watching the chasm between sam and dean grow). it’s also interesting to watch a faithless man start to have faith in something (someone). 

we also watch cas start to fall from heaven and develop feelings in general and specifically about dean. 

there is a narrative parallel that the show never fully dives into about john as an absent father and god as an absent father but it is compelling

s4 also has the absolute banger of an episode on the head of a pin which is... well. one of THEE episodes of all time.

s4 ends with lucifer being released from the cage, despite everything they did to try and prevent it.

(we also find out that a lot of the angels wanted it to happen and so cas is obviously having even more of a crisis of faith than he was just from starting to care about dean/humanity)

s5 is about preventing the actual apocalypse now that lucifer is out of his cage. there's a lot of plot to this but i'm not gonna go through it. it's a lot.

dean and cas continue to be besties who stand way too close together and look at each other for way too long and throw each other up against walls and generally make the people around them uncomfortable ("not for nothing cas but the last time someone looked at me like that i got laid" etc)

they also have fun together and laugh

they just like each other! 

legendary episode the end happens in s5 (and it comes right after the absolute banger that is free to be you and me)

i mean a lot happens in s5. you really have to watch it

but s5 ends with sam jumping into the cage in hell and bringing lucifer with him to save the world, leaving dean by himself but before he does that he makes dean promise that he won't try to bring sam back and that he will go live a normal life

and since dean is so completely fucked in the head he's like ‘yup yeah gotta keep my promise to sam because i am not a person with wants or needs of my own’ (actually literally in s5 there is an episode where Famine tells dean that he's not hungry for anything and it's very sad) so he goes to lisa, who is a woman he spent ONE weekend with like ten years ago and has seen approximately two more times since then and is like ‘yeah guess i'll settle down with this person and help her raise her kid who may or may not be mine’

i think the writers actually want us to believe that dean loves lisa and wants to be with lisa but that he can’t ever really be with her because hunting and the supernatural is too ingrained in him and not because.. you know... they never actually spent any time establishing an actual relationship between the two of them. whatever. 

(it doesn't work because dean doesn't know her and also it's very weird for her to let this man who is effectively a stranger and who has been on the fbi's most wanted list come live in her home and raise her son just because he shows up on her doorstep and is sad but whatever)

ANYWAY

s6 starts a year after sam jumps into the pit with lucifer

it SEEMS like dean is living a normal life with lisa and her son ben but it becomes clear that he’s not actually happy (i mean even if he actually did love her how could he possibly be happy in this situation? his brother is trapped in hell with satan for eternity and he's cut himself off from the supernatural world completely which means he’s cut himself off from everything and everyone he knows. he doesn't have a relationship with his father figure anymore and he hasn't seen or spoken to cas who has very much become his best friend in a year. like?? how is that sustainable in any way).

so. dean is struggling. but !!!! sam shows back up!!! and dean is like dude??? and sam is like i know!!!!!

this stuff happens over a lot of episodes but the gist is this: sam was pulled out of hell almost immediately but doesn't know by who. he went to lisa's to get dean but saw dean was living a "normal" life and was like ‘nah ill let him be happy’ except obvi dean wasn't happy. so sam has been alive this whole time and dean has been suffering

except! turns out sam doesn't have his soul anymore which is honestly one of the funnest arcs. there is an episode where dean is abducted by faeries and sam doesn't have his soul so he kind of doesn't really care and it's so much fun. anyway. before they figure out what the problem is they're like 'shit something is wrong we should call cas and figure out whats going on here.' and sam is like 'dude i've been praying to cas for a year he ain't coming' and then dean is like 'fine ill try' and before he even finishes his prayer cas is like OH MY GOD DEAN MY BESTIE!!!!!! (exaggeration but still) and it's very funny and sam says, "so, what you like dean more?" and cas, because he is an angel and has no tact, looks directly at sam and very bluntly says, "dean and i do share a more profound bond." it's great.

anyway. cas pretends to not know what is wrong with sam. it is later revealed that he is very much aware that sam does not have a soul because he is the one that pulled sam out of hell and whoopsie he just forgot to bring sam's soul with him. slapped a big ol' 'property of castiel' stamp on dean and counted each freckle on his naked bum when he pulled him out of hell, but just haphazardly yanked sammy-boy out by his follicles and straight-up forgot his whole ass soul lmaooo

anyway sam gets his soul back at some point. other plot stuff happens.

cas is very busy during s6. there is a civil war going on in heaven and dean is like 'oh no why doesn't my bestie cas wanna hang out with me'

eventually dean and lisa break-up because dean can't ever have a normal life and he's dangerous to lisa and ben (and it has nothing to do with the fact that dean doesn't actually love this woman who he didn't know before he moved in to her home) he also has cas wipe their memories of him completely which is 1. insanely violating and 2. a huge plot hole because dean lived with them for a year and literally every single other person in their life still knows dean exists but whatever. i think lisa is mentioned ONE more time for the entire rest of supernatural's run after this lol

towards the end of the season there is an episode from cas' point of view. the man who would be king. it is a game-changing episode for several reasons:

1.) it is the first time, in my opinion, that cas and dean's relationship is framed romantically in a way that is not for laughs. 2.) it is the turning point in their relationship in that cas is no longer someone dean doesn't feel responsible for. from this point forward, cas is always someone dean has to look after/worry about (which is not a good thing). 3.) it is the beginning of the argument/misunderstanding that will define the rest of their relationship (which is that cas thinks he needs to go out and find solutions to problems all on his own and come back with "wins" for dean and that dean desperately just wants cas to stay and for them to solve the problems together)

in the episode we learn that cas has been struggling with the civil war for the entirety of the season and that he actually did go to dean for help early on but he saw that dean was living a "normal" life and couldn't bring himself to ask dean to sacrifice more than he already had so he just sadly watched him rake leaves and then made a deal with the king of hell, crowley, instead

so cas has been working with crowley all season

sam and dean and bobby hate crowley very specifically for some reason that i honestly can't remember; like i know he's a demon but i don't remember what he did to them specifically and i personally am very fond of crowley so idk

anyway. this episode is all about how cas "betrayed" dean by going behind his back to work with crowley but it's all framed very romantically

feat. lines likes "and the worst part was dean trying so hard to be loyal with every instinct telling him otherwise"

and it's got dean trying to defend cas to sam and bobby

it's got the infamous shot of dean looking back at cas

it's just... it's a lot

but it does end with a rift between them and it's maybe the first time that they are really truly on opposite sides

so s6 ends with cas swallowing a bunch of leviathan souls from purgatory (don't worry about how that happens. doesn't matter) and becoming so powerful that he is the new "god" and he goes on a bit of a power trip.

personally i think godstiel is fun. he dismantles the kkk and goes after the westboro baptist church. sure he commits atrocities but they're cool, hip atrocities.

he also is.. a little bit scary. i guess he poses a legitimate physical threat to dean and sam and bobby. whatever. maybe if they weren't such negative nancies it wouldn't be a problem. i'm just saying.

anyway. the end of s6 and first few eps of s7 have dean and godstiel facing off against each other. dean tries to get Death to kill godstiel. it's kinda sad, yo. it doesn't work. cas is god. he's got too much power. but turns out he's not actually god so his vessel can't contain all that power and he dies by wading into a lake thingy and disappearing and releasing the leviathan unto the world.

this was supposed to be the end of cas forever. after he goes into the lake his trench coat floats back up and dean plucks it out of the water and he is visibly Not Okay. like sure him and cas were fighting but that was his best friend and now he's dead and dean is distraught. 

dean spends the next dozen or so episodes being such a Mess™ that bobby looks at him and says 'boy you better find a reason to start wanting to live again because if you don't you are going to get yourself killed'

fellas... is it gay to stop having a reason to live when your totally platonic best bro who you weren't even on good terms with dies?

anyway. dean keeps cas' trench coat with him. like he literally carries it from car to car to car, keeping it with him no matter what. totally normal. totally straight.

a character named dick roman is introduced. there are a lot of dick jokes made and they are almost exclusively aimed at dean.

honestly all of the gay jokes in the show are aimed at dean.

have i mentioned the siren episode? i don’t remember what season it happens but there is an episode with a siren that takes a male form to seduce dean. but don’t read into that. dean is definitely straight. a real ladies man. anyway. 

kevin tran is introduced in s7 and severely underutilized.

charlie bradbury is introduced and is terrible lesbian rep but is amazing little sister rep and dean finally gets a completely uncomplicated platonic friend. their friendship is very cute. it means a lot to me.

bobby dies. it's sad. i guess.

so remember when cas pulled sam out of hell without his soul? well that means sam's soul was hanging out in hell with lucifer for approximately a thousand years in hell time. sam's psyche is not doing too great right about now. in fact, he's hanging out in a mental ward because he's losing it.

dean hears about some sort of faith healer named emmanuel and is like 'well might as well go see if this dude can help fix my brother because if my brother doesn't get better i'm gonna blow my fucking brains out for sure. my best friend is dead. my father figure is dead. sure i've got a super cool lesbian bestie but i am hanging on by a thread here.'

so he shows up to emmanuel's house where ruh roh! there are demons lurking on the porch! he kills the demons only to drop them at the feet of a man... wearing cas' face! GASP. the man looks at dean like 'um sir you just killed some people?' and dean looks at the man with cas' face like 'i love you'

the guy introduces himself as emmanuel and then says 'oh btw this is my wife daphne' and dean makes THIS face which is a totally normal and straight thing to do. emmanuel says that he lost his memory but that daphne found him naked one day and they just got married (because THATS a normal thing to do???) but that he can heal people so he spends his time doing that.

so it's obviously cas (the writers brought him back because the ratings suffered so much after they killed him off that they had no choice lol). and despite having just watched dean kill some people he's like 'yeah sure i'll get in a car with you and go wherever you want me to go' and so they do and cas literally never returns to his wife and daphne is literally never mentioned again

by the end of the episode cas remembers who he is

dean gives cas his trench coat back (because he STILL has it and is still carrying it around with him everywhere)

it's clear things are not exactly okay between dean and cas. but cas is alive. cas is going to fix sam. he does it by taking on sam's hell trauma. it's dumb. but it gives us honey!cas who doesn't want to fight and he just wants to hang out with the bees.

dean is frustrated with this but it's largely because he feels guilty about a lot of stuff and is incapable of confronting his emotions so he just gets kind of angry and mean.

more plot stuff happens with the leviathans

s7 ends with them solving the leviathan problem but accidentally transporting dean and cas to purgatory. dun dun dun.

and so begins the gayest season of television ever created: season eight. it's incredibly homosexual.

like. what were they thinking.

cas and dean are magically transported to purgatory, which is just a desaturated forest where there are zero women or children for some reason. just a bunch of dude-shaped monsters who want to eat them.

dean is like 'fuck. at least we're in this together, right? cas?' but oh no! cas has disappeared!

dean meets a vampire named benny who's like 'hey guess what! you're human which means there's a way out of purgatory for you because purgatory is a place for monsters and because we're trying to make this the gayest possible storyline ever i'm going to help you get out as long as you let me 'ride' you out' and dean is like 'yeah that sounds reasonable and also let's imply that maybe we've been fucking while we're trapped here in purgatory but hey also i won't leave here without cas so we have to find him' and benny is like 'honestly dude who gives a fuck about the angel' and dean is like 'i literally do not care about anything else at all in the world i will stay here forever if i have to i am not leaving here without him he is my everything'

meanwhile sam has settled down with the most boring lady of all time who feeds him boxed mac and cheese with cut-up hot dogs. also her husband is in the military and i think she thought he was killed in action but then he shows back up and this plot sounds way more interesting than it actually is. point is—dean and cas disappear for a year and sam is like 'i’m gonna fuck a soldier's wife and adopt the dog i accidentally ran over and not even look for my brother' which i think is incredibly hilarious of him.

meanwhile, back in purgatory, dean is searching high and low for cas. he's killing monsters left and right, asking where the angel is. finally, he finds cas and he is SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM but cas is not happy back and dean is like [notebook voice] 'i wrote to you, cas, every day. it wasnt over for me. it still isnt over' and cas is like 'yes, dear, i read your letters' and dean is like 'oh you read them? and you just... return to sender-ed them???' and he is PISSED

and benny, who honestly is just here for a laugh, is like 'maybe you and i should just go give each other handies one last time and then blow this popsicle stand, just the two of us' and cas is silently beaming 'i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you' thoughts at the vampire who is trying to steal his boyfriend

but then cas explains that he was specifically trying to stay away from dean to keep dean safe from all the leviathan that are after cas and then dean's face says 'i love you' and benny's face says 'what in the gay hell have i gotten myself into' and then dean's mouth says 'i'm not leaving here without you'

so the three of them trek through purgatory to find the portal that will let dean pass through since he's human. cas and benny do not think it will work for cas because he is an angel. dean does not care. he will not leave cas and that’s final.

they find the portal. somehow benny shloops himself into dean's forearm (the logistics don't matter. all you need to know is it's hella gay.) dean hops through the portal and reaches for cas to pull him through but cas doesn't make it!!! oh no!!!! dean gets sucked through and cas gets left behind :'(

dean does not cope well

on earth, dean finds benny's grave and pours benny's blood or essence or whatever out over his bones. benny rematerializes as a vampire on earth. they hug. it's gay. they say goodbye and wish each other well. it's gay.

plot stuff happens in s8 but who cares.

at some point aaron bass shows up. he’s not important to the plot but he is dean’s gay thing. apparently dean does not say the word “gay” again after dean’s gay thing. legendary character. 

back to the dean not coping well. 

dean keeps having ~visions~ of cas like he’s in fucking wuthering heights.

turns out it's because cas gets out of purgatory!!! and he's trying to reach out to dean but he doesn't have his full angel juice so he's struggling at first. but finally he makes it to him!! and dean is relieved!!!! but also skeptical because how???? cas doesn't have any answers.

this insane interaction happens when cas cleans up.

over the course of the rest of the season we find out that actually dean misremembered the whole getting out of purgatory thing. cas didn't get left behind. he chose to stay behind and dean rewrote that memory because he couldn't bear the thought of cas not wanting to come with him. fellas.... 

the angel, naomi, pulled cas out of purgatory because she wanted to use him for plot reasons. she ends up performing a whole bunch of lobotomies on him in order to make him stop caring about dean (doesn't work)

she also has him kill dean replicas hundreds of times so that when it comes time to kill the real dean, he'll be able to do it. (doesn't work)

"we need you. i need you." homosexuality ensues. 

oh at some point during s8 sam and dean find "the bunker" which is where they live from here on out. it's like an underground building type thing with a bunch of rooms and shit and a library and whatever. so. they don't live out of motels anymore.

other plot stuff happens. there's more with benny. it's very gay. blah blah blah. he dies/goes back to purgatory. all of the angels fall from heaven to earth. cas becomes human. there’s some very gay implications with that plot but i don’t want to get into it. 

we're at s9.

cas is human. he's a very cute human. very vulnerable which means we have to find a way to keep him and dean apart otherwise dean is going to risk it all and fuck his brains out. so for convoluted plot reasons dean tells cas he can't stay in the bunker. he has to leave. he does not want to do this. he is very upset about having to do this. he feels extremely guilty. but it's to save sam's life and sam's life is still dean's number one priority. this show will never let the brothers move past their toxic codependency. so. dean kicks cas out. they are both very sad.

eventually cas finds himself a little job at a gas n' sip and several episodes later dean shows up like an asshole ex-boyfriend and cas is clearly bitter and hurt and it's such a fun episode (arguably one of the more queerbaity) honestly just look at the whole tag. there are a LOT of looks shared and a lot of glances and just a lot of longing going on in general. 

ummmmmmm i honestly don't remember a lot of this season because i don't care???? cas gets his grace back, kind of. dean takes on the mark of cain (murder curse) for plot reasons. cas chooses dean over an entire army of angels. plot stuff.... happens...

"to save dean winchester, that was your goal, right? i mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately it was all about saving one human, right?" is a thing that happens

at the end of the season dean "dies"

but the mark of cain won't let him die so he wakes up with black eyes. GASP. he's a demon.

the first few episodes of s10 are just dean being a demon. it's kind of disappointing because they could've had way more fun with it. but. he does canonically have group sex with crowley during their hot girl summer. they are BFFs now. they have been for awhile. dean pretends like he hates crowley but he doesn't. everybody else does. but dean's got a soft spot for him. crowley is straight-up in love with dean.

dean's milkshake brings all the monster boys to the yard.

sam's milkshake brings all the milfs to the yard. that's not really relevant right now though.

anyway dean's a demon for a few episode. they cure him of that though because that's a thing they can do now. whatever.

when he’s no longer a demon this happens.

the rest of the season is spent trying to cure dean of the mark of cain despite him not really wanting to be cured of the mark of cain, mainly because he realizes that whatever the "cure" is will unleash something worse.

at some point this conversation happens which is not relevant to the plot but it is relevant to how married dean and cas are

also at some point dean goes to confession and has this insane monologue where he says, “there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” 

instead of casting abel (of cain and abel fame) they give cain a wife named colette and intentionally parallel cain/colette with dean/cas

“then you'd kill the angel, castiel. now that one—that i suspect would hurt something awful.”

charlie dies. dean does not take it well. 

top tier episode for me personally the prisoner happens, in which dean goes on a revenge murdering spree for charlie’s death. 

it culminates in a fight between him and cas in which cas is trying to reason with dean and he says “sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. everyone except me. i’m the one that’ll have to watch you murder the world.”

they get into a physical altercation in which dean almost succumbs to the effects of the murder impulses of the mark of cain but is able to control it enough not to kill cas

truly an Episode!

anyway. they eventually get the mark off of dean but in doing so unleash The Darkness which is... god’s sister. yeah. it’s as dumb as it sounds. and it brings us to s11.

the darkness, whose name is amara, imprints on dean like a baby duckling. 

this is the first real love interest they give dean since lisa in s6. she is also the last love interest they give him. 

amara and dean have some sort of psychic connection something or other. idk. he is deeply uncomfortable with it. he doesn’t want it. he is ashamed of it (though tbh that particular line/scene is vague and can easily be interpreted as a sexuality thing and imo works far better that way because he doesn’t actually love amara but that’s neither here nor there). they have ZERO chemistry. that part is kind of funny. but essentially what is happening is that despite not actually wanting her or anything to do with her, he is sort of compelled to want her?? and can’t bring himself to hurt her. it’s kind of rape-y.

they spend the season trying to take her on so she doesn’t destroy the world.

this happens

cas lets lucifer use him as a vessel. 

dean spends a lot of time worrying about cas. nobody else seems to be quite as concerned. 

typically anything with lucifer in the later seasons is tedious and a snoozefest but casifer is quite delightful because he spends a lot of time hate crime-ing dean and cas specifically lmao. 

idk more plot stuff happens 

lucifer gets expelled from cas so cas is just cas

they defeat amara with the power of love by which i mean that amara is like ‘yes dean you are right humanity IS good maybe me and my brother god (who is actually just some guy named chuck) can work things out and i don’t have to destroy the world also what if i bring your mother back to life, only the situation is super weird because you were four when she died and now you’re a grown ass man who is older than her and she has no idea who you are’ 

so that’s how s11 ends

also i didn’t mention this before but they learned in s4 that mary was actually a hunter from a family of hunters and the reason that one demon fed sam his blood in the first place was because mary made a deal with him to save john’s life so like. everything is a LITTLE bit her fault (it’s not. mary’s a milf and she can do no wrong. but like. she jump started every thing. but she didn’t really because heaven interfered to make it happen. it’s complicated. mary is complicated. she’s an actual person. not just the vague shape of a dead mother they spent their lives avenging.) (also she very specifically did not want her children to be raised as hunters.) (john didn’t know she was a hunter.) 

anyway. things are very awkward.

she looks at dean and cas for 2 seconds and immediately clocks them as homos which is funny

anyway things are very weird for much of the season because mary is a person and dean very specifically cannot reconcile that with the memory he has of her and sam has no memories of her so she’s not really anyone to him and mary can’t reconcile the fact that her babies are suddenly these two grown men who are hunters and she is having a hard time

she kind of doesn’t stick around or act stereotypically motherly and dean does not handle it well AT ALL. 

in fact by the end of the season they have a confrontation where he tells her he hates her (and that he loves her). it’s a lot. 

anyway this isn’t particularly relevant to the deancas of it all except for the fact that cas is dean’s bestie and so they sometimes talk about it

okay so back to what’s happening during the season. 

lucifer is still running around. at some point he ends up in rick springfield’s body because why not. cas and crowley are trying to track him down and this is only relevant because they are both pathetically in love with dean and the entire time crowley is like ‘yeah dean might love you back but at least i’ve had sex with him’ and cas is like ‘i’m gonna smite you’ and dean is like ‘there’s no time for this i’m having mommy issues!’ 

at one point lucifer ends up possessing the president of the united states who is sleeping with his pro-life girlfriend kelly kline who is a member of his staff. this results in kelly getting knocked up with a half-human, half-angel baby (a nephilim). apparently all angels can sense when a nephilim is created and for some reason the scene of cas sensing this is shot as if 1.) cas is the one who got knocked up himself and 2.) as if maybe dean is the father. it’s a good time for me personally.

so nephilim are like super powered and abominations and shouldn’t exist and this nephilim in particular is lucifer’s (yikes!) so they try to track down kelly to convince her to get an abortion and in the process dean and sam get arrested by the sercret service and it results in four back-to-back top tier episodes 

first blood where dean and sam are in solitary confinement and nobody can figure out where they’re being held. they’re gone for months(?). eventually they make a deal with billie the reaper to help get them out. the deal is that they have until the end of the day to decide which winchester she will permanently reap, no take-backsies this time. this episode is good mostly because it’s fun to watch but also because this happens when dean is on his way to what he thinks is his death. 

anyway instead of letting dean or sam (or mary) offer themselves up to billie, cas just kills billie. (this upsets dean. they spend the rest of the season fighting like an old married couple)

up next is lily sunder has some regrets. truly an episode. the premise is that somebody is going around killing a certain group of angels. turns out it’s some lady named lily sunder who is getting revenge on a garrison of angels (cas’ former garrison. he was a hot girl at the time) that thought they killed an angel who fell in love with a human and created a nephilim. turns out they actually just helped this crazy angel kill the very human children of his unrequited human love. (cas is obviously deeply ashamed).

i cannot stress enough how married dean and cas are in this episode.

they are still bickering over the whole billie thing.  

but they love each other and dean will not let anything happen to cas

there’s just so much love despite the bickering 

the crazy angel refers to dean as cas’ human weakness

this hand flex thing happens??

you get the point. lily sunder has some regrets is a great episode.

next up is regarding dean. cas is not in this episode but it’s a very cute episode where dean is hit with a spell that makes him start to lose his memory. it’s just fun. 

and then comes stuck in the middle (with you). a lot of plot stuff happens in this episode but what’s important is that dean calls cas devastatingly handsome and that, while dying, cas says “i love you” (shot cuts to dean and only dean) and then says “i love all of you.” 

cas doesn’t die. 

the arc of back-to-back banger episodes ends.

dean and cas continue to fight but in the way that only people who are very close and care about each other can.

at some point dean makes cas a mixtape which is even more deeply romantic than it sounds but if i talk about it i will lose my mind.

cas goes out looking for kelly kline because there is still the issue of lucifer’s unborn nephilim that needs to be aborted. eventually he finds her and like... psychically bonds with the fetus who assigns cas as his dad. dean is very concerned about this and spends a lot of time worrying about and trying to track cas down. when he finally does catch up to cas he pins him against a wall because he is worried but he is also horny and they haven’t performed any of their intricate rituals for awhile. cas lets it happen despite the fact that he could literally smite dean if he wanted to. he doesn’t want to. he is also horny. but he’s going to be a dad. so. he steals dean’s car because his truck is broken down and takes off. dean is.. not even mad about this. he just fixes cas’ truck for him like a good husband. 

plot stuff happens. cas takes off with kelly for good. dean is sad and still very worried about the situation.

cas spends this time reading parenting books and buying diapers and painting a nursery because he’s gonna be a dad!! and kelly is gonna die in childbirth because she is merely human and can’t possibly survive the birth of a nephilim. but she is at peace with this because she is a weirdo republican pro life nut job and trusts the angel castiel who tried to force her to have an abortion to raise the son she shares with lucifer to be a good man. (to be clear: kelly is not actually framed as crazy but if you think about it for more than a second she is whackadoodle) 

i guess i should mention that during all this time lucifer is also trying to track kelly down (for obvious reasons) and so are all the other angels (because nephilim are not supposed to be allowed to exist. they’re too powerful and this one is lucifer’s).

kelly goes into labor and it like... creates a tear in the fabric of the universe that leads to a parallel dimension where mary never made the demon deal that saves john winchester’s life and therefore sam and dean were never born and never stopped the apocalypse from happening. that world is decimated from the apocalypse and from here on out will be referred to as apocalypse!world.

dean, sam, and mary catch up to cas and kelly where mary immediately goes to help kelly through childbirth and cas and dean immediately perform husband rituals. sam, as always, is caught halfway between thinking this is normal friend behavior and wanting to die from the tension.

plot plot plot lucifer shows up fight fight fight

crowley shows up and sacrifices himself to save the boys (dean) from lucifer 

cas tries to take on lucifer in apocalypse!world and sam has to physically drag dean away while dean screams cas’ name

cas makes it back to their world but so does lucifer and he kills cas

right before taking mary with him into apocalypse!world right before the tear/portal closes

but dean can’t think about that because... cas is dead... and they linger on that reaction for SO LONG while sam is like ‘damn that sucks’ and then runs into the house to deal with the whole kelly giving birth to the son of lucifer thing. dean falls to his knees. 

cannot emphasize enough just how much dean’s reaction is the focus of this situation and how devastated he is. according to the script he is shattered. 

 the nephilim is born. his name is jack. he is in the body of a fully grown alexander calvert because reasons. kelly dies. 

let s13 and the widower arc commence!

so uh. dean ain’t too fond of jack. he thinks jack is the reason cas is dead and, like every other time cas has died, he is not coping. except this time he is extra not coping. sam even offers to take him to a strip club in the most hilariously misplaced attempt at comfort ever.

the dean and jack stuff is complicated and it continues to be complicated for the rest of the show but it’s handled poorly in my opinion so i’m not going to focus on it. 

so let’s just talk about how dean, for the first time ever (i think?), prays to god and it’s to ask him to bring cas back

it doesn’t work. god is a dick and doesn’t even respond (despite the fact that dean like... fixed his relationship with his sister for him, you might remember). 

dean prepares cas’ body for his funeral pyre by himself, despite the fact that both sam and jack are also there. 

this is what dean’s face looks like while he’s watching cas’ body burn. like i said: 

he’s not handling it well. he continues to not handle it well for the next however many episodes. there’s a lot of drinking involved. 

sam and dean and jack go to family therapy for a case. it is 10% hilarious 90% depressing.

i feel like it’s also important to note that during this time sam is coping fine with cas’ death (he always does) but is having a hard time with mary’s “death.” dean does not really seem to be???? this is weird because dean was undoubtedly closer to her and undoubtedly worse at coping with the loss of family members in general. (it also becomes even weirder later in hind sight but that doesn’t matter right now.)

ughhh dean actually kills himself (for a case but come on, dude). and billie the reaper (who is now Death) looks at him and says, “you want to die” because... say it with me... he is not coping well. 

billie’s like ‘ya know as much as i would love to never have to look at your face again it’s not your time’ and sends his ass back to the land of the living and dean is just. so tired. and him and sam are driving home at night and he’s shrouded in darkness and he gets a phone call and suddenly his face is lit up (like. literally. good job lighting department)

and it’s because? CAS IS BACK!

sam and dean drive to where cas called dean from a pay phone. 

dean says “welcome home” to cas while they’re standing in the middle of nowhere and takes him into his arms. there’s a cross lit up in the background. suddenly dean doesn’t look like he wants to die anymore. 

dean is the happiest little idiot in the next episode. he dresses cas up as a cowboy. they are very married. it is insane how much his entire outlook on life has turned around. 

that’s the end of the widower arc but damn what a good arc.

other stuff happens for the rest of the season but honestly who cares? 

they are casually intimate like when cas just digs into the backpack dean’s carrying 

mary and other people come back from apocalypse!world

i honestly cannot remember so much of the plot that happens between the back half of s13 and s14

jack dies at some point and cas makes his infamous deal with The Empty to save him (the deal is that The Empty will come for cas but not until he experiences one true moment of happiness)

uhhhhh. there are a lot of cute hashtag family moments?

dean tells his father he has a family (don’t worry about how that happens. it’s stupid and infuriating and it doesn’t matter. the important part is that dean says he has a family)

dean is still happy to just be around cas

the archangel michael is released from apocalypse!world and takes dean as his vessel and traps dean in a dream world in his mind so sam and cas go into dean’s mind to try and find him and do you know what dean’s little dream world is in his mind? he owns a bar where he flirts with a psychic woman he isn’t actually attracted to who calls him on his bullshit because she KNOWS he doesn’t want her, and he hangs out there waiting for his boys to come home. seriously. 

sam and cas get through and dean traps michael in a closet (lmao) in his mind so that michael can’t control him. he struggles with that for awhile.

dean and cas have a heart to heart over the situation  

that plot gets resolved

jack loses his soul at some point 

that doesn’t go too well

he accidentally kills mary

dean blames cas for this which is... a choice... but it does lead to the divorce arc which, while existing for dumb reasons, is great for me personally

in addition to existing because of the jack killing mary thing, it also exists because god/chuck has been pulling the strings on things all along and dean is convinced that nothing any of them have ever done/felt/been was real

dean almost kills jack but he doesn’t

but then chuck just kills him anyway

then chuck tears hell open and unleashes thousands upon thousands of demons and ghosts and fucked up souls and they have to deal with that

one of the souls is a demon named belphegor who decides to inhabit jack’s body and then hit on dean. it should not be as funny as it is. 

dean and cas have a hard time. 

cas tells dean that they are real. dean still struggles. he’s still pissed.

they break-up and it is actually framed as a break-up. the dialogue and the angles and the lighting and just everything about it. cas leaves.

dean doesn’t cope too well. shocking!

cas isn’t having a great time either.

there is an awkward phone call 

then the greatest episode of all time happens. last call, my beloved.

in this episode dean wakes up and immediately starts drinking. he’s already surrounded by empty bottles everywhere. he decides to go on a hunt by himself because he can’t really handle being around sam and his girlfriend while they’re all happy and in love.

dean shows up at a bar where a waitress starts flirting with him and he doesn’t flirt back??? (and she’s hot, y’all. and he always flirts.) 

THEN it turns out the dude who owns the bar is an old hunting buddy of his named lee. (it’s eliot from leverage). it is implied that they’ve fucked. they sing a song together with the bisexual pride flag colors as the backdrop and lee slaps dean’s ass. 

dean spends the entire episode talking about how best friends don’t just leave/give-up and how you stay and fight for/fix shit and how somebody has to care about the world and i mean it is really just dean not so subtly saying cas is the only motherfucker in this world for him and it MAKES ME EMOTIONAL

meanwhile cas shows back up at the bunker and him and sam fuck around and find out and sam almost dies and cas keeps trying to call dean but it keeps going to voicemail because dean is busy reminiscing with slash having to kill his old bestie (obvi sam is fine) (eileen is also there and i adore eileen and she is very important to me personally but she is not really important to the deancas saga so that’s why i’m not really mentioning her [or a lot of other characters tbh—what up claire jody donna garth etc]).

finally dean makes it home to the bunker and comes face to face with cas for the first time since their break-up. they stand on opposite sides of a table that has a map of the world printed on it. it’s tense and there is longing. it’s also awkward. 

man i really love that episode. 

anyway. 

dean and cas are still fighting but also they still love each other so cas still heals dean

the queen of hell gives them couples counseling 

something something “since when do we get what we deserve” with longing looks

then dean and cas go back to purgatory!!!!! the gayest place of all!!! but on purpose this time! they only have a certain amount of time they can be there before they’re trapped there permanently and all they’re trying to do is find a flower. 

in true deancas fashion, they make everyone around them uncomfortable, this time by airing our their dirty laundry in front of the leviathan that’s leading them to the rare flower they’re looking for. they finally get to the crux of the argument they’ve been having since s6. “i left but you didn’t stop me.”

so turns out the leviathan was leading them to a trap. dean gets knocked out and when he wakes up cas is gone. he searches everywhere for him but time’s-a-ticking and finally dean starts to realize this might be it. he’s not gonna find cas in time. he’s gonna lose him again. 

so what does homie do? he drops to his old ass arthritic knees in the middle of monster land and starts praying to cas and he cries and i swear dean is in love with cas. “i should’ve stopped you. you’re my best friend and i just let you go”

so dean prays and he hopes cas can hear him because what else can he do? he’s gotta get back. 

but wait! cas is waiting for him (a little worse for the wear) at the opening back to earth and boy oh boy is dean relieved to see him.

dean tells cas that he needs to tell him something and cas says, “you don’t have to say it. i heard your prayer.” dean's face does something peculiar. whatever dean was going to say.. it was not what he said in that prayer. too bad we never get to find out what he really wanted to say. 

anyway dean and cas are back together, even though everything else in the world still sucks.

while they were renewing their wedding vows in purgatory sam was having visions of what happens in the future if they kill god/chuck (i think?). dean loses cas and doesn’t take it very well. 

more plot stuff happens

i hate it all 

jack comes back at some point 

dean dances with a lamp (there are implications) and holds a baby named cas

the most famous human man of all time adam (of adam and eve fame) is alive and living in bliss with his angel lover so that’s a thing they decided to let everyone know in the last few episodes of this show’s run for no reason at all. where’s eve? who knows. but adam is happy with his angel.  

more plot stuff happens

honestly who cares let’s just get to the confession

bille the reaper who as you will recall is now Death is dying and is pissed at dean and wants to kill him so she’s chasing him and cas through the bunker. they lock themselves in the dungeon but she’s pounding on the door and they have no way to hold her off. they’re going to die. 

except cas has that little deal he made with The Empty in his back pocket and decides now would be the time to invoke it and in order to invoke it—in order to experience a true moment of happiness—he’s going to tell dean he loves him.

i’m going to be honest—i don’t really have a lot of feelings about the confession itself. i think it’s clunky and the words themselves are sort of off but i DO have a lot of feelings about the best moment of cas’ life being the absolute worst moment of dean’s. 

cas leaves him AGAIN. cas saves dean’s life and then dean has to watch, helplessly, as cas dies AGAIN except this time it’s after learning that cas is in love with him and dean never got to process it or say anything back. 

this moment is paralleled with several other character’s losing their love interests during the episode btw. 

after The Empty comes and takes cas (and billie) dean sits on the floor with his back against the wall and sobs. he ignores calls from sam, despite the fact that they are literally in the middle of fighting chuck/god for the fate of the world. 

dean doesn’t tell anybody about what happened. all he says is “he saved me. cas is gone.”

he doesn’t cope well. you know the drill.

at one point dean is sitting around failing to cope and his phone starts ringing with a call from cas and he answers it and it’s cas’ voice asking to let him in the bunker and dean runs right up the stairs, no questions asked, doesn’t even hesitate, and opens the door. turns out it was just lucifer playing a mean trick though. that’s literally the last time we hear cas’ voice on the show.

umm. plot stuff. they defeat lucifer and chuck/god and save the world.

jack becomes the new god. it’s dumb.

dean pretends to be all well-adjusted and then dies on a regular vampire hunt that i don’t think is supposed to come across as him just giving up but very much does. it’s a fucked up narrative, man. 

he goes to heaven and he runs into bobby and bobby is like ‘hey i know you were expecting heaven to just be a bunch of memories because that’s what it used to be but jack is making some changes. with some help from cas.’ dean smiles at that. it’s... not nothing but it is definitely not enough after the past eleven years. then bobby tells dean that his mother and his father live just up the road and dean is like ‘cool i’m gonna drive in the opposite direction for forty years while my brother lives out a weird heterosexual fantasy in an offensive party city wig’ and then they reunite in heaven and that’s how the show ends.

luckily fanfiction exists

for the record, because i don’t think it’s clear from anything i’ve said: technically sam is the main character of this show lol

soooo. this honestly leaves out a LOT but hopefully it’ll give you an idea of what parts of the show you’ll be interested in (or maybe it’s enough info that you don’t even need to watch the show now!). also i know some people have made episode viewing guides that tell you which episodes you should watch and which ones you can skip but i don’t remember who made them or how to find them unfortunately : / 

[filthyjanuary]

7-12 and 16-20 for the asks!

7. What do you dislike about your favourite season?

i think season 2 is the best, but as i’ve said before, my favourite is 4 solely because the first few eps i watched were from s4. i think season 4 is very solid and even though it’s a season that HURTS BAD because of everything happening between sam and dean, i think the show earns the conflict for the most part. the literal only thing that still haunts me is that the STUPID VOICEMAIL THAT GETS ALTERED IS NEVER ADDRESSED. like i hate more than anything that sam still thinks dean said those things. like i know jared’s said that sam knows dean loves him but i don’t care!!! sam /and/ dean deserve to know the voicemail was changed.

OH also literally everything with anna milton. she deserved better <3 sorry the fridged you and gave part of your arc to a man, queen.

also sam and dean should’ve found out cas let sam out of the panic room.

8. Thoughts on Sam’s demon blood arc

i love sam’s demon blood arc. his hot girl summer! in all seriousness, it makes perfect sense. mystery spot sets it up that sam goes dark when he doesn’t have dean, and s4 is the natural progression of that. i love sam being hellbent on revenge, and the blood drinking was hot sorry not sorry. like obviously the end result wasn’t stellar and the handling of the demon blood as an addiction was handled rather shittily in the show, but overall this arc is near and dear to me and if i couldn’t have the boy king, i’m glad i got this instead. and it brings up some really interesting concepts that get explored really well in fic.

9. Thoughts on the Moc arc

i hate this arc mostly because like dean was terrible...which makes sense, but even after the mark was gone it’s like... he never /really/ pulls himself out of that place. it also just dragged on for FAR too long. like it didn’t need to be like 30 episodes or however long. i do like that it gave us demon!dean being like sexythreatening, and that scene of sam cradling dean’s face and begging him to tell him that he had to kill all those people and just the general sam is dean’s colette of it all. also the end of s10 with sam on his knees and dean telling him to close his eyes is deeply fucked up and i love it for that reason and obviously that happened bc of the MOC storyline.

10. Fave underrated ep

i am highkey obsessed with 1x04 phantom traveller, 2x07 the usual suspects and 4x19 jump the shark and i feel like most people don’t really care about those episodes or bring them up much. phantom traveller is just interesting bc i think the character moments are fun and i am obsessed with plane crashes for some reason. the usual suspects i just adore because it’s really a great exploration of HOW WELL sam and dean know each other and just how alike they are. and unfortunately i really like the cop lady in this one. jump the shark was the second episode of supernatural i ever saw and for some reason something in my brain latched onto adam and never let go. i love him so much (i know it’s not really him in the ep but ukno) and i love how much you learn about sam and dean through it too.

11. Thoughts on BMOL

boring. like...the actors were not good at their accents. they wanted what bela talbot had in s3. i just didn’t find ‘the british are evil’ a compelling storyline in a supernatural show.... like girl i live in real life you don’t need to preach to me about the british. also like they set up ketch to be evil like worse than toni who i already hate because she tortures/sexually assaults sam by having him kill magda i guess? but then they end up redeeming him and he survives longer than both mick (affectionate) and toni (derogatory), like seriously one of the worst Big Bads they’ve ever had.

12. Thoughts on Mary

to be honest, i think bringing her back was kind of a stupid idea in the sense that the ENTIRE SHOW starts because of her death. but i felt like HAVING DONE THAT, trying to deconstruct her image as like this nuclear housewife was compelling and the whole clash of sam and dean who just want their mom versus mary who left her kids as a an infant and a small child and now has these grown men who are older than her needing things she doesn’t know how to give was very interesting. and i wish they’d done more with that. 

16. Any criticisms of their world building/lore

well i think everyone’s said it better than me that they can’t seem to get their stance on monsters straight at all and the show suffers for it. i also hate how like the later seasons especially just blatantly retcon so much. the prime example is the garden of eden in s5 vs s15.... the s5 version was so much more interesting and i hate that they brought it back just to destroy their own lore. the whole concept of the abrahamic god being like the ‘real’ god vs other gods just being minor annoyances didn’t like...make sense or feel good either. i also would’ve loved more exploration of like what the fuck it means to be a vessel and also exploration of other monsters/urban legends. like ok we get it ghosts/demons/vampires/werewolves sure w/e but there’s so much to pull from. it got repetitive and there’s so many other things they could’ve tried. hell the SECOND EPISODE of the show mentions black dogs and we never actually encounter one. or like chimeras... like there’s just plenty to dig into and they just get lazy.

17. What did you like about s15?

15x20 <3 also just...jack....that’s my son! MICHAEL/ADAM IN 15X08!!!! i think there were a couple moments i liked in like...the gambler and last holiday, and i thought belphagor was funny. oh! also sam’s nightmare visions were kinda fun even tho they led back to lucifer :/

18. Thoughts on Lucifer

he was a really excellent and intimidating villain in s5.... and frankly i enjoyed hallucifer as well because sure he was presented comedically but he was a deeply dark presence hanging over sam as a reminder of what he suffered. everything after that...sucked!!! it sucked!!!!! overstayed his welcome, letting him out of the cage again totally nullifies sam’s sacrifice and frankly he lost every smidge of intimidation factor he ever had. he was just annoying and whiny and pointless and sam should’ve killed him <3 fuck that guy.

19. Most uncomfortable moments throughout the show for you?

answered here

20. Define the different eras in a few lines or words (s1-5, s6-7, s8-11, s12-15)

this was meant to be short... and then it wasnt... sorry.

kripke: PEAK SUPERNATURAL. racist AND sexist but like i frankly do not care because the actually storytelling is so GOOD. COHERENT. i long for what could’ve been had the strike not kneecapped s3 and we’d gotten boyking, but hell the arc we DID get... so good. so fulfilling. aesthetics go off the charts. character dynamics so good!!! conflicts are earned!!!! there was a fucking vision here and it was unique and interesting and the show was COMMITTED TO IT. literally iconic television i love her so much. eric kripke needs a therapist but i’m glad he wrote this show instead of going to see one. 

gamble: sera THEE gamble.... overarching storylines kinda weak, but SO FUN! i had fucking fun! soulless sam is a comedian, godstiel was the last time cas was remotely interesting, like!!!! she gave us everything!!!!! gets slandered way too much by this hell fandom like yes the leviathans were stupid but the were FUN and the character moments in s6-s7!!! so good!!!! lots of excellent MOTW eps as well, which... as we know...i love. when the show lost gamble, it lost something great, i’ll die on this hill. i love u #girlboss.

carver: there’s a lot of good here and a lot i despise. dean steadily grows darker throughout the show but there’s like a real VEER into being awful in s9 that the show never recovers from. it makes dean very unlikeable for the rest of its run, mostly by virtue of the show not realizing how unlikeable it’s made dean because it needs him to always be right so the fact that he’s basically turned into john is never like....addressed in any meaningful way. some storylines (MOC!!) dragged on for too long, while others were way too short (TRIALS!!!) but ultimately i think there were some good ideas here and moments i’m fond of. season 11 is Beautiful. i love her so much. there’s some really excellent eps in s11 and the character moments are good.

dabb: i literally hate it here (jack sweetie you are not included in this assessment you’re doing great). it was just stupid. the characterizations of EVERYBODY sucked and fell flat. way too obsessed with pandering to the loudest faction on twitter. took the wreckage of dean that carver left and full destroyed him. like straight up could’ve done something meaningful if they’d bothered to address it at all but they literally didn’t ever make dean be accountable for his actions??? can’t tell u what cas was doing it was so forgettable he obviously had no purpose literally the only scenes i remember were a couple where he’s being cute with jack and that one ep where he and sam go to that old-timey town and sam gets brainwashed. sam like... exists, and his character is intact but it’s only intact because the writers that were left didn’t want to bother giving him anything meaty to do to so the were like *spins wheel* leadership arc that goes nowhere, and he just exists being kind and compassionate and putting up with too much shit. BUT HE HAD REALLY FUCKING EXCELLENT MOMENTS WITH JACK and that alone is why i think it’s worth the slog. sam/jack is my favourite dynamic on the show following sam/dean so...unfortunately based on that.... i can’t just burn the whole dabb era but seriously... way to make every character a hollow, one-dimensional shell.

send me supernatural asks

[wayward-marvel-sommer1196]

No Memories

Pairing: Dean x Winchester Sister!Reader, Sam x Winchester Sister!Reader, John x daughter!reader

Warnings: Abandonment, drugging, kidnapping, abuse, car crash, hospitalization

Word Count: 4721

A/N: This was written for Kas’ 2.5k Dialogue Prompt Challenge @kas-not-cas My prompt was “You have no idea who I am, do you?”. This takes place about mid season 5, not that it really matters. That is the time frame that fits the ages I’m working with and it was before the bunker. This isn’t the whole story I promise. I meant for this to be a one-shot but it got really long, like this is the longest one-shot I’ve written, and I’m tired from cleaning all day so I thought this was a good place to stop. The second part will probably be really short but it will wrap things up and will be out tomorrow. That being said, I am really proud of this one so tell me what you think feedback is always welcomed and appreciated.Also un-beta-ed and unedited because I’m tired af so all mistakes are mine and I apologize in advance. 

Summary: You are John’s youngest and Sam and Dean’s little sister. You were basically left in their laps by your mother as an infant. One day, when your five years old, you are kidnapped on Dean’s watch. Ten years later you run into Dean in a coincidental accident. What happens when he recognizes you?

Masterlist - No Memories 

^ pretend thats young Dean 

^ I know that’s JJ but lets pretend this is the relationship that Dean and his little sister have.

^When the part comes and you will know it. Imagine this but obviously not as romantic because that would be weird, especially considering the events taking place at that moment.

Dean’s Age: 16

Sam’s Age: 12

Reader’s Age: Like a month old

There was a knock at the door and Sam and Dean just looked at each other. They never had people come to the door. John was in the bathroom and before they could ask what to do another knock rang at the door.

“Dean! Get the door!” John shouted through the bathroom.

Dean stood up and cautiously unlocked and opened the door. In front of him stood a woman. She was about 5’6, had long blonde wavy hair, blue eyes, and a slender build. Exactly John’s type was the thought that rang through Dean’s head.

“Uhhh… is John Winchester here?” she asked.

“Dad!!” Dean yelled out for his father. That’s when Dean heard shrill cry and noticed the pink and black baby carrier she was holding and his eye widened. “Dad, you really need to come out here.”

“I’m coming De- Madeline?” John said.

“Here you go John. She’s your kid. I never wanted this. She’s your problem now. I can’t handle it,” Madeline said as she handed John the carrier, with the still screaming baby, and the baby bag on her shoulder.

“What? No. I can’t take her. She’s just a baby. You know the life I live and I already have my boys. It’s bad enough my boys live this life she doesn’t need to be thrusted into it too. AND she’s your daughter, and doesn’t deserve to be called a ‘problem’,” John said.

“Well, either you take her or she sits outside your door because I’m done.”

“How can you be so cruel? She’s an infant. She didn’t ask to be brought into the world. YOU brought her into the world. That was your decision.”

“I didn’t make her myself John. Last I checked it still takes two to tango. And I thought I can do it but I can’t and by the time I figured that out it was too late to turn back so either you take her or she sits outside,” Madeline said with finality as she turned and walked away.

“Wait, at least tell me her name.”

“Y/N.”

John finally looked down at the screaming child and started to panic. He had no clue what he was going to do. When Sammy was an infant he wasn’t a hunter yet. He was able to care for him, until he couldn’t. But now he and Dean are grown and he was a full-blown hunter. He couldn’t drag an infant into this. He needed air. He needed time to think alone.

“Dean,” John said.

“Sir?” Dean replied.

“This is Y/N. Take her. I need to run an errand and I’ll be back when I get back,” John told his son as he handed him the carrier and walked out the door.

Dean looked down at you crying in the carrier and gave you sad eyes. He couldn’t believe your mother could just hand you over like that. He put the carrier down, pushed the handle back, and started unbuckling you. You reached your arms out to him wanting him to pick you up and he gave you a sad smile and did as you wanted.

“Hey, sweetheart, shhhhh…. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay. I’ve got you,” Dean cooed while bouncing you in his arms.

After about a minute you stopped crying and settled into Dean’s arms. He couldn’t help but smile. Once you calmed down Dean couldn’t help but notice that you had the same green eyes he did. There was no question in his mind you were a Winchester.

Sam sat and watched the whole ordeal and couldn’t help but be happy to have a little sister. He always wanted a little sibling and now he smiled to himself looking at how adorable you were. “Dean?” Sam said.

“Yeah, Sammy?” Dean said.

“Can I hold her?”

“Yeah, just be really careful,” Dean said as he carefully handed you to Sam. Sam held you gently and smiled when you giggled at him. He just thought you were the most adorable thing in the world. After a while you ended up back in Dean’s arms and he found a bottle in your bag and heated it up and fed you. You just sat in Dean’s arms smiling at him and he knew he was done for. You would be able to get him to do anything. You couldn’t even talk yet and you already had him wrapped around your little finger.

About two hours later John came walking back in the motel room with his arms full of bags. He called for Sam to get the rest out of the Impala as he saw you in Dean’s arms. When John walked in and saw the bond you had already created with Dean he knew keeping you was the right decision. He couldn’t believe how good Dean was with you. He saw his oldest son pacing the room with you wrapped in a pink fluffy blanket asleep in his arms.

Sam came back into the room with the rest of the bags and John started to unpack everything. He had a couple boxes of diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, blankets and spit up rags, clothes, toys, and whatever else John could think of getting for you.

“Well boys, how do you feel about having a little sister? Because it looks like we have a new addition, a new little Winchester,” John said.

“We love Y/N already, Dad,” Sam said as he looked over at his brother with you.

Five Years Later

Dean’s Age:21

Sam’s Age: 17

Reader’s Age: 5

“De?” you said.

“Yeah, Y/N,” Dean said.

“Where’s Sammy?”

“He’s at school remember sweetheart? I told you that this morning.”

“Oh yeah. Is he going to be home soon?”

“In a couple hours, why?”

“I’m bored and wanted Sammy to play with me.”

“I’ll play with you sweetie.”

“But you don’t like to play with Barbie’s.”

Dean chuckled and nodded his head, “Yeah, you got me there sweetheart,” he said as he knelt in front of you lightly grabbing your chin. He would never admit it but to Dean you were more than his little sister, over the years you had become more of a daughter to him. He raised you more than John did so in his head you were his daughter. “Why don’t we go to the park to kill some of that energy you have building up?”

“YEAH! The park is so much fun, De,” you said as you jumped into his arms.

“Okay, but first you need to change into shorts. A dress isn’t appropriate for the park. And you need to put on your sneakers.”

You ran and changed as quick as you could and grabbed your sneakers. You ran to Dean because you still didn’t know how to tie your shoes.

“We really need to get you velcro sneakers,” Dean said with a smile on his lips.

You guys were at the park and every new item you tried you called for your big brother to watch you. He looked over and smiled every time and couldn’t help but think how adorable you were and how happy it made him that you wanted him to see you try everything.

When you were on the third jungle gym from the right Dean caught sight of a pretty little brunette. She was just his type and after looking at her for a minute and almost getting up to approach her, he shook his head. Now wasn’t the time. He was there with you and he needed to give you all his attention.

When he looked back to the jungle gym you weren’t there. He quickly got up screaming your name and searching each jungle gym not finding you.

“Y/N! Y/N! Sweetheart, this isn’t funny. You can’t hide from De. Come on Y/N. Y/N!!!!!!” Dean screamed having no luck and starting to panic. His heart started racing and started approaching people asking if they had seen you.

“Excuse me ma’am but have you seen my daughter she was at the last jungle gym. She has brown hair in braids, wearing a princess shirt, and blue jean shorts, with pink princess sneakers? Please she’s only five,” Dean pleaded with the woman.

“Sorry, sweetie I haven’t seen her but I’ll keep an eye out. I hope you find her,” the woman said.

“Thank you,” Dean said with a shaky voice. He was in full panic mode, putting both hands to his head and looking around. He knew he had to call his father.  He also knew his father was going to blame him, which he already blamed himself so that didn’t matter, but his father would hate him for this. He pulled his phone out and dialed the number with shaky hands still looking around the park.

“Dean, I can’t talk right now. I’m busy,” John said as he answered the phone.

“I know that Dad, but this is an emergency,” Dean paused not sure how to tell his father. “It’s Y/N, she’s …she’s”

“What Dean? Is she hurt? Sick? What’s going on? Is my baby girl ok?”

“She’s missing,” Dean just blurted it out like ripping off a band aid.

“WHAT??!!!?! Son you better be lying. So, help me…”

“Dad, I’m sorry we were at the park and I looked away for a second and when I looked back she was gone. I looked everywhere. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. What can I do?”

“Stop saying sorry and you’ve done enough. I’m on my way back now. You need to go pick up Sam and we will meet back at the motel, go it?”

“Yes, Da- “

“It’s Sir,” John interrupted with fury in his voice. Fury for Dean and fury for whoever took his baby girl. John didn’t know that Dean had also felt like he lost a child and Johns dismissal of him only added to the guilt already building up as the minutes ticked by.

Meanwhile…….

You were playing on the jungle gym when a lady called your name. You cautiously walked towards her but not to close.

“Sweetie, your father has been hurt and told me to come get you?” the lady said.

You were skeptical of her so you said, “Okay, but first I need to get De. He’ll want to see Daddy too.” When you went to turn around the lady grabbed your arm and injected you in the neck with a needle filled with a clear liquid. You were confused when all the sudden your eyes starting closing and you fell unconscious in her arms hearing Dean scream your name calling for his ‘sweetheart’. All you wanted to do was call out to him but with the drugs now in your system all you could do was let the darkness take over.

When you woke up you were in a strange bed room. You didn’t recognize anything and you were scared. Usually when you woke up in a strange place you had De with you or sometimes Sam or on very rare occasions you had Daddy. But right now, you were alone so you started crying like any scared five-year-old would do.

That’s when a strange man came into the room.

“Hey kid stop whining,” he said.

“No, I want De. Where’s De?” you sobbed as the tears cascaded down your little pale cheeks.

The stranger raised his right hand and struck you against your left cheek. You stopped crying, raising your tiny hand to your cheek, feeling the sting from the stranger’s hand. You were shocked. You had never been hit before. Daddy, De, or Sam never hit you, especially when you were crying. They would comfort you, hug you, and tell you everything was going to be okay. This man didn’t care. Since he scared you he complied.

You made sure you only cried when you were alone and they were quiet cries. Every night you would cry yourself to sleep and you would cry for the same thing or rather person, De.

There were nights you would get caught and those nights were always filled with nightmares. When they would catch you, the woman would inject you with something that made you instantly sleepy. She would always whisper that this was better than the man hitting you as you blacked out.

As time went on you got older and stopped crying at night. The memories of your family faded with every injection. You no longer remembered why or who you were crying for so you just stopped. The man and woman who took you became all you knew. They became ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. They became everything you feared.

10 years after abduction

Dean’s Age: 31

Sam’s Age: 27

Reader’s Age: 15

Today was your 15th birthday and you made the decision that today was the day. Today was the day you were going to finally escape the hell you had been living in your whole life. You had had your bag packed with your essentials for the last week and you worked out an entire plan of your escape. You didn’t sleep at all the night before because of the nervousness but you knew this was what you had to do.

You made the decision 2 weeks ago, when your Dad came home drunk and angry, you knew it was going to be a bad night, you just didn’t realize how bad. He screamed at you to do the dishes so you complied, learning earlier on never to argue with him. As you did them a plate slipped out of your hand and broke. He was pissed and took that out on you. He grabbed you by your hair and dragged you to the living room and threw you to the floor. He slapped your face and kicked you in the stomach. When you were balled up on the floor he kicked you in the back and spit at you. You hobbled to your room that night and made the decision. This wasn’t the first time this happened and you knew it wouldn’t be the last.

Once you heard your parents leave and made sure they pulled out of the drive way and was off your street. You grabbed your bag and crawled out your window, knowing if you went out the door the neighbors would tell your parents. You walked to the abandoned car lot knowing a couple of them still ran and hotwired one and drove off. You kept driving until you needed to stop for gas the next. Once you were filled up you were back on the road.

It was the middle of the night and you were on day three with no sleep. You weren’t exactly sure where you were going, but you didn’t want to stop. However, your body was running on fumes and was physically exhausted so your eye lids started to droop. You keep them open as long as you could but finally they drooped far enough to close completely and cause you to swerve off the empty highway into a tree. You lost consciousness due to the lack of an airbag and the force of the crush.

You begin to slowly regain consciousness hearing the roaring engine of an old muscle car and what sounds like a man shouting at you trying to get your attention. For some reason the engine sounds familiar to you, you don’t know why.

Dean was driving down the highway to meet up with Sam at some sleazy motel for a case when all the sudden he heard a crash. A half a mile in front of him he saw a car slammed into a tree. He sped up a bit and through the Impala into park. He pulled out his phone to call 911 what happened, but he knew that where they were it would be a bit before anyone would show up.

So, once he hung up jumped out of the Impala and ran over to driver’s window of your car. He saw you were barely conscious, your head was bleeding, and you were just a kid. He reached his hand into your window to turn your head to face him. You could barely register what was going on. Dean grabbed the handle of your door and yanked it open and realized that your leg was stuck under the dash and that he was going to have to pry it out.

“Hey sweetheart,” he said causing a spark in your head. Why did that sound so familiar? “I’m here to help you get out of this car, but your leg is stuck. So, I need to go grab some tools from my car to get you out, okay?”

You just nodded your head not really being able to do anything else.

Dean ran back to the Impala and went into the trunk. He grabbed a crowbar and a hammer, hoping this would work. He slammed the trunk closed and ran back to you.

“Hey Sweetheart, I’m back,” Dean said. There was that nickname again. Why is it so familiar? Neither of your parents ever called you that. “Okay, this is probably going to hurt a lot and I’m sorry about that. There’s nothing I can do about the pain, but I just need you to brace yourself.” You nodded. “Ok, sweetie here I go,” Dean said as he stuck the crowbar under the dash and used the hammer to shove it in further. When he began to pry it up you let out a blood curdling scream that made Dean wince. He hated that in order to help you, he had to cause you pain. At this point your car started smoking and Dean knew what that meant but he didn’t want to frighten you so he kept it to himself.

“Ok, sweetheart your leg is free. I’m going to lift you out of the car now okay?” You answered with a nod. With that Dean slid one arm under your legs, causing you to moan in pain, and one arm around your back. You put one of your arms around his neck as he carried you bridal style from your car to his and laid you down on the seat. As he carried you, you looked into his eyes. The green orbs seemed so familiar to you. They looked just like yours. Now your front hood was slightly on fire signaling it was closer to blowing but you still hadn’t noticed.  

“My bag. I need my bag. It has everything I own in it. It’s in the back seat,” you said slightly panicked.

Dean looked back at the car nervous but knew by the look on your face you needed that bag. “Ok sweetheart, you stay here. I’ll get it.” You nodded your head and Dean ran to your car and quickly grabbed the bag and what looked like your sweatshirt and ran back to the Impala.

Once he got back to the Impala your car exploded frightening you enough to grab onto him and squeeze. He squeezed you back and looked down at your face now that he had some light to actually see your features. What he saw he couldn’t believe. It was you. His baby sister that he could never forgive himself for losing. Just as he was about to say something you feel unconscious in his arms again.

A second later the first responders showed up. The firefighters went straight to work killing the flames from the car and the paramedics came running over to you and Dean. Dean explained the accident and having to pry you out because you were stuck and that you just passed out a minute ago, to the paramedics. They nodded and went to reach for you but Dean grabbed you to place you on the stretcher. They began working on you and pushing you towards the ambulance.

Dean jumped into the driver’s seat of the impala and followed the ambulance to the hospital.

Once at the hospital the doctors took you back to get a CT scan of your head and an x-ray of your leg to check for further damage than what they were seeing. The police stopped Dean to ask him some questions about the accident. He told them everything he knew and everything he told the paramedics.

Finally, when the police were done questioning Dean, you were done with all your tests and he could go sit with you.

“Hey doc, I was the one that found her. Is she going to be ok?” Dean asked.

“Well, she has a concussion and a broken leg, but other than that there are no other fresh injuries,” the doctor said.

“What do you mean by ‘fresh injuries’.”

“Do you know her family or anything about her home life?”

“No.”

“Well, I’m not permitted to release any other information, but I have some concerns.”

Dean nodded his head at the doctor and went to sit next to your side. He couldn’t believe it was you. He thought that he would never see you again. He thought he lost you forever. But here you were in the flesh and despite the injuries you were beautiful. However, he couldn’t help but wonder back to the doctor’s words. What were his concerns? Why did he want to know about her home life? Deep down he knew why, but he didn’t want to believe it.

Dean pulled out his phone, he knew he had to call Sammy and let him know. The conversation was weird, but Sam said he was on his way and told Dean to watch you like a hawk, which Dean had already planned on doing.

The police approached the room and said they were going to contact her parents. Dean stood up to object, but before he could the doctor spoke up. He was concerned about possible abuse and didn’t want the parents in the room just yet. He wanted to evaluate all her previous injuries first. The police nodded and started to walk off, but Dean saw this as his chance to get Y/N back so he stopped them.

“Excuse me sir, can I talk to you for a second?” Dean asked.

“Sure, you have information?” the officer asked.

“Sort of. Her parents … aren’t really her parents.”

“Come again?”

“That girl in there … she’s my little sister. When she was five years old she was kidnapped from the park we were at and hasn’t been seen since.”

“Sir, that was ten years ago, how can you be sure that this is your sister?”

Dean’s anger started to spike a bit, but he kept it in check for the time being. “Because I practically raised her. Our dad wasn’t around much and her mom just dropped her off in our laps and left. I was with that little girl every day for five years. I would know those green eyes anywhere. They are the same eyes as mine. She was practically my daughter. So, when I say that is my little sister, that is my little sister. Go check, my father filed a police report ten years ago, when it happened. Try the last name Winchester.”

“Okay, we will look into it,” and with that the officer walked off.

About a half hour later you began to stir awake. Dean hastily sat up and squeezed your hand. You opened your eyes and were met with your green-eyed savior.

“Y/N, hey it’s okay. You’re in the hospital. You are safe now. Do you remember what happened?” Dean said softly.

“I remember you carrying me to your car and that’s it,” you said trying to remember if you told him your name or not.

“Well, I laid you down in my car and then you started to freak out about your bag. I ran to get it and once I got back your car blew up. I guess the blast scared you because you blacked out in my arms. Then the paramedics came and brought you here.”

“Wow, ok. Wait, how do you know my name? I didn’t tell you it.”

“Really?”

You nodded your head.

“You have no idea who I am, do you?”

You shook your head no and said, “Should I?”

Dean sighed and said, “I guess you wouldn’t remember. I’m Dean Winchester.”

That name sounds just as familiar as his eyes look. “This introduction is useless now, but I’m Y/N Smith.”

He chuckles a bit but it doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. His green orbs seem to show sadness and guilt, but you couldn’t understand why. He saved you. You were alive.

“Well, the police are going to call your parents soon imagine, now that you are awake,” he said.

The minute those words hit you your eyes widened in panic and fear and you began to shake your head. “No no no no no. You can’t. Please don’t call them. I just got away from them. I can’t go back. I can’t handle it anymore,” you said as you gripped on to Dean’s shirt and the tears plummeting down your cheeks.

“Okay, Okay. Shhhh…. It’s okay. I won’t let them call. I’ve got you. It’s all gonna be okay. Hey,” he said as he craned your neck to look in his eyes. “Do you trust me?”

For some reason you did, so you nodded your head and squeezed him harder, which he reciprocated. “They…. They aren’t nice people. They never have been. They hit me. Hard. They have been beating me for as long as I can remember. Two weeks ago, after a particularly bad night, I made the decision to run away on my fifteenth birthday which was three days ago. If they find me, I’m scared to think of what they would do,” you said as you wiped the tears and looked at Dean. He looked angry. Why would he be angry? But then he looked sad and guilty again as he looked into your eyes. What was this man blaming himself for that he looked so …... broken all the time?

His phone rang and he picked it up and said the name ‘Sam’ which again sounded familiar to you. “I need to run out for a bit,” he said. He noticed the panicked look in your eyes as he spoke. He assumed you didn’t want to be alone. “I’ll be right back. I promise. I just have to go talk to someone real quick, okay?” he said and you nodded.

Dean ran down to the lobby of the hospital to meet up with Sam.

“Hey man can I go see her?” Sam asked.

“That’s what I came down to tell you. She doesn’t remember us. She doesn’t remember the life she had before she was taken. I don’t know if it was because she was so young or if it was something those people did, but for right now I’m just playing the stranger who saved her from a car wreck,” Dean said.

“Okay. Is she at least ok?”

“Physically, she has a concussion and a broken leg. Psychologically, she’s a freaking mine field waiting to blow. The people who took her abused her. They beat her. That’s why she was on the rode that late. She was running away.”

Sam’s jaw tightened and his fists clenched, having almost the same reaction Dean did at the news. He let out a breath and said, “Okay, I’ll just sit out here then. Just keep me updated and if she does remember give her my love.”

“Okay man I will. But I have to get back. I promised her I’d be quick. She’s scared shitless that her parents are going to show up.”

The brothers hugged and Dean ran back to your room.

The minute you saw Dean re-enter your room, you let out a breath of relief. You didn’t know why, but you felt incredibly safe with this man. The minute he sat back down you wrapped your arms around him again and squeezed him tight.

“Thank you, De, you muttered into his chest.

Dean’s eyes got wide in disbelief. Did you just call him by the nickname you did when you were 5?

“What…. Why did you call me De?” he asked.

“I don’t know. It just came out that way,” you replied.

Before Dean could question you further, the officer from earlier stepped into the room.

“Mr. Winchester, can I speak to you outside.”

Part 2: A Memory 

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