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#july tag
lizardperson · 3 months
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how to live your life without breathing
[on ao3]
fandom: original work rating: g cw: anxiety, so much anxiety wc: 736 prompts: #fff260 fear is a sickness for @flashfictionfridayofficial
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July had always been scared, wrapped up in fear all her life. The horrible knot in her chest, expanding, suffocating her. Strangling her, harder on some days, lighter on others - but never gone. Like a tumor, growing and multiplying, like nothing could ever stop it. Making it impossible to breathe. July as a small child, hiding behind her mother, afraid of people, and animals, and loud noises, and the monsters in the dark, and most of all afraid of being alone. July at school, scared of the other children, and the teachers, and being a failure. Scared of not being good enough, so she works harder - and then realizing that being too good is just as bad. People noticing you, praising you, for being such a smart child. It's terrifying. Suffocating. She's not afraid of the monsters in the dark anymore, or of being alone. The dark is comforting now, wrapping her up like a blanket. The monsters don't hurt her. When they scare her, all she has to do is press the pause button, she's in control. She wishes life had a pause button, a remote control, to catch her breath. July as a teenager, scared of being seen, trying so hard to be invisible. Blending into the background, concealing every ounce of herself, so afraid of attracting attention in any form. Trying so hard to keep it together every day, trying not to break down, everything is just so much. The world is too much. All she wants is to hide. The monsters are her friends. She collects them, hoards them and their stories, watching over them, watching every horror movie she can get her hands on. The world outside is so much scarier than those movies could ever be. July being accepted into film school, going to college, leaving home, against her parents' wishes, all alone. The first night in her dorm room, she thinks she is dying, being so utterly terrified, and she has no idea how she will ever breathe again. Somehow, she is still alive the next morning. Somehow, she makes it through the day. Somehow, she makes it through the year, holding her breath. July in college, working so hard, trying to push through the fear. She wants to make movies, movies like the ones that saved her life so many times, but she is so scared. She drops out after three semesters, crying for days, cursing the fear that is strangling her. So tired of that suffocating fear. July living her life, working a dead-end job she hates, but it's not all bad. She likes her apartment, she has her movies, and over the years she even stops caring so much about being seen. She starts dressing more colorful, chats with her coworkers sometimes, even goes on a few dates. Life is still terrifying, but maybe she's just used to the fear by now. Maybe she knows how to live without breathing by now. And then Daria moves into the apartment next to hers, and they become friends, and there are times when July is not scared. When she's happy, and relaxed, and she can be herself without the constant need to hide. Daria is safe, her home, part of her comfort zone. Life is actually starting to be cozy in her comfort zone. Here, she can breathe freely. And then Mika comes into her life, and suddenly July is scared again - but it's okay. It's like back when she was a child, and watched all those movies, and when the monsters got too scary she could just press pause. She's still in control, somewhat. Mika drags her out of her comfort zone, introduces her to new things, all those experiences she always wanted but never dared to seek out. And it is fun and it is exhausting and it is terrifying and it is amazing and it is so much. July is so grateful to have her as a friend. "Ready?!" Mika grinned, holding out her hand. July hesitated, suddenly not so sure about the whole thing anymore. "I'm going to be so terrible at this," she objected weakly, feeling the familiar knot in her chest expanding again. "So what! Come on, nobody's gonna hear, let's just have some fun!" Fuck it. July grabbed Mika's hand, mostly for moral support, and faced the screen of the karaoke machine. She took a deep breath. Enough with being scared.
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softwaring · 2 years
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The 12 full moons of 2022 by loonarpix
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Being a system is funny sometimes because in my source I was a straight up cis woman but now when someone was like: I wish we had a dick, I was also like, I wish I had a dick.
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mortdeheros · 1 month
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gokuisahimbo · 1 month
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And it felt like meeting the whole world.
Alt version, combined the layers!
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was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-
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birbs-in-space · 2 years
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curious about what's in store for you for 2024? :D
Let AO3 decide!
(Updated from 2023: Up-to-date tag bank, opt-in tag categories, optional dark mode! As always: proceed with informed consent.)
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latenightsundayblues · 3 months
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Ohhh the things Lawrence does for love
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angstydiaz · 10 months
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me when YET ANOTHER SHOW I LIKE GETS CANcELLED
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koifsssh · 1 year
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practice practice practice, im getting a little better, i think!  I really like these two au’s that keep popping up, especially the mob one! Very neat! Very cool! (please go check out @clownsuu when you have the chance! Very cool artist! they made the mob au!) ( also @nonomives made this vampire wally design! their art is delicious, 10/10! one of my favorites, actually! send much love to both!) ooo, i also love that one grayscale au, very spooky! i might do that one next!
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lizardperson · 7 months
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For ask meme, Mika and any other character(s) you want:
🐈 🖤 🍔
*cracks knuckles* ok what do we have here :D
🐈 wide circle of friends or a few close friends: ok so she claims she loves having a huge circle of friends, and she's super social and makes friends extremely quickly, but - if she's really honest, a handful of her weirdos is all she needs.
🖤 killed/wounded/broken hearts or trust: killed no, but definitely punched a couple of people over the years lol (special shoutout to connor's nose). casually broke a few hearts but nothing serious, she just can't help it that she's a flirt 🤷 as for broken trust, at least not on purpose i think...
🍔 cooking & baking: is actually an okay cook, like she can feed herself, and sometimes it's even fun. does not care much for baking tho.
bonus - july & 🍔: literally the worst cook imaginable. will fuck up pasta. will burn down the house if left unattended. lived off of frozen pizza and poptarts until a certain neighbor started feeding her real food. do not let in the kitchen.
oc asks
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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hazardsoflove · 9 months
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god i love getting texts
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factual-fantasy · 9 days
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@candyglumboy
The first/only thing that came to mind was Julie rambling away while Wally starts to doze off XD My Wally isn't as talkative as he used to be.. he's just too tired nowadays to keep up with conversations. Well, at least conversations with Julie 😅 But Wally doesn't mind her rambles! He loves listening to his friends talk about things they're interested in :}}
Note, this is an old suggestion that I dug up for my current art block! Suggestions are now closed <:)
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frenchublog · 4 months
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obbydrawsstuff · 6 months
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I like to think that Sally's a pretty good dancer- and on occasion offers to show the others how to perform a few moves. (Though some are more nervous about it than others hehe)
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