#just a couple of dads trying their best
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just remembered a wip i had which was jay at uni meeting normal people and desperately trying to act cool and normal whilst internally screaming about being in a whole new place with all new people and not having his gang with him
#i only wrote one scene where jay meets one of his flatmates#and he’s trying to make casual normal conversation & asks her who her parents are#bc that has always mattered! on the isle or at auradon prep your parentage was also a Conversation Starter#and the girl is just like ……what. why do you want to know that#but she tells him and jay makes it into a joke like hehe oh yes i met them at a soirée once. amazing company#and the girl is like ok who are YOUR parents. knowing full well who he is#and jay says that his dad fosters puppies. and the girl says that sounds like a good life and he’s like ohhh just the BEST#i really. love exploring jay at uni i’ve written a couple of things i’ve never finished#like!!! for the first time for years he’s well and truly all alone!!!!#and at least the isle & ap had similarities. uni is just full of very normal people who don’t particularly give a shit#and jay who is like THE guy who cares about everything so much all the time and how people are reacting to him and he’s desperately trying+#to be so cool and unbothered whilst trying not to revert to his isle tactics regarding people who may be threats#just. being somewhere so so new. with no one he knows. everyone else is so far away. and jay is missing his gang like he’d miss+#his body parts. and it’s like. jays always buried his own emotions & hurt so he can better protect his gang#and now he has no gang to protect#and he is just laid absolutely bare. and also constantly stressing about not being there for the others#i just think he’d have an absolutely awful start to uni <3#descendants#jay son of jafar
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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can I ask why you don’t like domi? a lot of leafsblr really like him and I was wondering if he did something? to put down a guy on “your team” that much must have something behind it
i didn't like him before he was a leaf and i don't subscribe to the idea that you have to support everyone just because they're "on your team"... especially in a sport like this where the makeup of most of the team changes a LOT every couple years. it's not like domi is crucial to the identity of this team in any way, lol. he's been here for 5 seconds.
i try not to dig too much into these guys past quotes and shit like that because obviously in the nhl, there are a lot of unpleasant realities below the surface but. i can't help the stuff i've seen about him liking trump and parroting racist and xenophobic quotes about watching 'who we let into our countries' like... it's colored my perception of him before this year, and it's not changing just bc he's good buds with the known anti-vaxxer on the team now like 😭 he gives me the ick and will continue to no matter how much new fans latch on to any guy that's a leaf and wanna post about him. everyone's threshold for that stuff is different, but he's not rlly done anything to endear me to him on a personal level.
#easks#i also think a lot of leafsblr seem to be new this year lol and just latched onto a lot of the newer signed ppl also#not that its necessarily a bad thing but seeing ppl claim this team is the closest theyve been like#i blatantly do not think u knew of anything the past couple yrs of the leafs then.. went from holl kerf muzz bunts to this. downgrade#the vibes are very off this year to me just. in the makeup of the team. im trying to enjoy as best i can but#guys like domi bertuzzi reaves can put me on the edge of not rlly liking the id of the team so#not gonna choose to focus on them or their questionable personal qualities i've known abt and seen#not like i go hunting for reasons to hate anyone in the league.. its legit just stuff thats come up on my radar blatantly#the last couple yrs when ppl hit the markets and stuff#like if we win the cup. beautiful. i still hope we ditch some guys eventually LKFJDSKL#ALSO. when max says dumb shit in the media... be real its open season on being a cocky shit lol#hes the faux tough guy uncle fans go nuts for but like. hes not his dad
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...
#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it#my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store#and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person#dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much#for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is#trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u#treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her#dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a#god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close#my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he#feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom#which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were#saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were#a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was#distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their#relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her#expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she#grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear#in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i#saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The#Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and#unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much#unrelated
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everyone is pitying me and i dont know how to feel about that
#i mean i pity myself its bad for me right now and i need help and support because i simply can not do this without it but also#i deeply wish i was not doing just so extremely bad and i wish i didnt need to be pitied#i think im doing worse than when my parents got divorced and i didnt see my dad for 3 months like its. probably the worst time of my life#which is such a nice stopper on the past four years probably having been the best years of my life! and i only have a couple weeks of that#time left and all i can do is feel just. bad. all the time#but then im also affraid people think i’m just overreacting or complaining or whining or whatever and like. rationally i know i cant#help how i feel and what is happening to me but also it just makes me feel weak. this shouldnt be so hard. this wouldnt be so hard for a#normal person. and im having difficulty coming to terms with like. this is just who i am. i cant do everything other people might be able to#im sensitive in a lot more ways and yk its good to realise im not unique in that way but im also not average.#ugh sorry im trying not to vent Online but bluehg
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Yep fine god bless america i would die for the 118.
#car accidents just suck#Buck is a disaster#i could fix him and make him a snack#seriously why do I want to mother buck so hard#i’m drunk tagging#season 5 finale#Chimney is the best dad actually#how many babies do you think the 118 has delivered#buckley siblings heal my childhood trauma#I’m not sure Taylor did that much wrong#This random amnesia couple are cute#hope he remembers her#damn Buck breaking up with a woman is growth#he’s not clinging#eddie come back your job is tweeting#cap got so close to drinking omg please don’t#HEN AND KAREN WEDDING X2#oh that’s adorable#they look beautiful#Ravi is adorable can he get more story#the criuse tickets happen at the end of season 5?#bobby is a planner#I love them#Obviously never try to replace Chimney again#that’s how we get serial killer coworkers#911 abc#911 fox#118 firefam
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twitter having 'national girlfriend day' trend tonight is so funny like how did they know i was thinking of masato
#snap chats#he's still my toxic girlfriend sorry#i was sitting by the road today and being emo As Per Usual and i thought about comin on here like#'maybe if i looked at pictures of my evil toxic girlfriend ill feel better'#maybe i should just draw him... idk im not really feeling like. EXISTING tonight#i keep hoping ill die from high blood pressure soon and its just not happening like cmon....... dont play with me like that blood pressure.#ok bye im gonna. idk.#drink matcha ig#i called my dad just to say hi because im trying to do that more and i just ended up crying like a BABY#and he just told me to eat cause he knows me and he knows i hate myself and that means i Wont eat 😔#i mean he said a LOT more obviously but yk.. the eating part's relevant since im talking about just drinking matcha and calling it a night#prrroobbbabblyyy not the best hting to do.... not when thi smatcha apparently got creamer and sugar in it The Fuck#I DIDNT KNOW THAT my disappointment is immeasurable... i just wanted pure matcha tyvm...#maybe i should start odering it online since i know i wont find any locally...#but those are plans for when i have money and dont feel like lying on the side of the road#for now uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i GUESS i'll have tea... and quiche... so i dont disappoint my dad....#he'd never know but i'll feel bad.... ok bye...#we'll see what i do in the next couple hours but one things for certain i WILL think of my evil toxic girlfriend <- masato
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it's literally them
#ignore my five minute scribbles but. it is very much the key wives#ash rambles 💚#also I forgot ash's armor but shhh. her design is pretty cool (if i do say so herself)#the main attraction is her long red coat! her and her best friend (eventually wife) are the red/blue couple#she really loves her coat! it was a gift from her adoptive dad! e.raqus!#in her first appearance she only wears one glove on her right hand#but she gets some very nasty burns on her hands while trying to save her best friend#(she fails. it really fucks her up. losing her bffs and her dad for a decade. shes all alone.)#so she has black bandages on her hands in all her appearances after b.irth b.y s.leep#it's not that the wounds havent healed—it's that she doesnt want to be reminded of how weak she is. how much of a failure she is#just a pathetic little girl who didnt deserve her title of Master anymore. she's very sad for that decade. it's bad.#eventually when she does reunite with her best friend shes scared to take the bandages off. a.qua shouldnt have to see that side of her...#a.qua tells her that theyve been best friends since they were kids. theres nothing to hide.#it's not until a.qua sees those hand scars that they begin to date. theyre childhood sweethearts! theyre very cute together!!! so gay!!#i love her sooo much! theyve got a lot of baggage with a.qua being trapped in the Realm of Darkness for a decade and Ash being all alone and#struggling with a horrible case of survivor's guilt but. they make it work. they always have ever since they were little kids.#i really like my k.h s/i!!! hope you like her too hehe! also her k.eyblade is green and red and silver and named Starfire#but yeah. red/blue couples for the win! especially when theyre a.qua/ash-#a.qua gets down on one knee a couple yrs after k.h3 and they get married a wee bit after that#their kiddo is super cool too! name is violet (she/they) and they're the coolest key kid on the block hehe!#anyways yeah. good morning-
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kunou-kun and yukimura are totally dating
#like i actually hate when a guy who's not entirely gender norm confirming ('girlish') and friends with a guy-ish guy are supposed#to be dating because looking through the heteronoramtive lens and all that#but kunou and yukimura should date#kunou unlearning stupid gender norms and misogyny his dad put on him#maid sama#yeah okay i am reading maid sama and it's taking a LOT of effort to continue#but i guess not everything can be fruits basket and i do have to try other shoujos out#believing in other people's tastes here and holding out#6 volumes in though and i LOVE the protagonist and like(-ish) the vibe with the couple#but the rest is forgettable/tolerable at best and just BAD at worst#i also like what i consider the trans rep in aoichan
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I don't know if people consider 10 Things I Hate About You to be like problematic or bad but I just finished it and you know what? If my partner bought me a guitar anytime they screwed up I would absolutely stick around. Do you know how many guitars that could get me? So many. I could have enough guitars for all the picks I have. That's the dream, baby.
#of the couples present i enjoyed apects of each of them#not big on cameron as a character but i do enjoy bianca finally standing up for herself and attacking joey. that's. that's good on her#i very much enjoyed the b plot of Michael and kat's best friend#i would want someone to go that hard upon finding out my favorite thing#in general i just enjoyed michael as a character#and then pat and kat#first off#literal paint ball. no gun just balls of paint they throw#huge fan of that and i want to maybe try it out#secondly I'm honestly annoyed that kat was angry at patrick for not kissing her when she was literally puking from alcohol#like that was maybe 30 minutes ago in movie. you smell like alcohol and puke why would he kiss you just hygienic wise NOT EVEN consent wise#lastly. my beautiful genius kat...#you didnt go in with a better formed plan for the detention scene??#*starts talking about teacher's biceps. junk. grabs his face. and then flashes him.* *then proceeds to look embarrassed#YOU DID THAT HUN. THOSE WERE YOUR CHOICES.#and of course by that i mean the writer wrote you that way but like still#oof#oh fuck one more thing#her hair in the prom scene made me think about the princess diaries when mia said she looked like a poodle and i feel so bad#thats just her hair but with her dad bring Paulo i kept thinking about the princess diaries
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Found out today that my grandma has been explaining to her older friends why it’s important to practice using singular they/them pronouns, and also politely asking for pronouns if they’re unsure. I love my grandma so fucking much 💖
#no one in my family even knows that i use they/them pronouns#my grandma just knows that it’s something that matters to me#and so therefore it matters to her#literally my grandma is one of the most kind badass women i have ever known i’m so lucky to have her#💙💗🤍#🏳️⚧️#my mom is also cool mostly but she’s closer to ‘she a little confused but she got the spirit’#my dad thinks he’s the most accepting and progressive person ever which honestly makes him worse at being accepting overall#bc if people try to correct him he pushes back#he had a trans participant in one of his workshops a couple weeks back who used they/them pronouns and kept misgendering them#not TO them but to me when talking about them#and he got frustrated with me when i corrected him#but anyway this is a positivity post about my GrammE because she’s the best ever#personal#non-binary#trans
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i ran into my dad unexpectedly today and it was fine? we had a couple drinks together and caught up and it was fine? what a strange day
#i haven't talked to him in a couple of months and i have admittedly been avoiding him#he used to be my best friend and over the years we've drifted about and we haven't been close in ages#so it was actually kinda nice despite the distance i'm trying to keep with my mom#but maybe; JUST MAYBE i can try to maintain a relationship with my dad without really committing to one with my mom#god my therapist is gonna love talking about this with me#honestly i have missed him a lot and i do miss hanging out with him#it's just A LOT#especially dealing with all the bullshit my mom put me through and even the bullshit he put me through#and their inability to be accountable and own up to the things they've done to really hurt me#but like i miss being his friend and i was a complete and utter 'daddy's girl' growing up#and i'm being super nostalgic for something that i'll never get again and I D K#personal
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god i went to the kitchen to get my fucking ritz and i hard the soft creaking of footsteps and they were really light so i thought it was my mom cuz she steps lighlty so i turn around in the fucking darkness with only my phone flashlight at its lowest setting to defend me with and i find nothing except the creeping form of my damn cat coming to check if i finally deigned to give him food like the lowly human i am
#god i forgot how to spell deign and j spent a good couple minutes just trying alternate spellings of dein and just getting#'did you mean denied' like fuck you google#and like i know what deigned means but i could not give you the definition to save my life#i fucking opened my packet of ritzs and the fucking cats heard it and stared down my soul#anyways this is why im terrible at asking definitions for#my dads like michelle what does this word mean and its like damn i know what it means in english but damned if you ask me to tell you and i#i DONT know the translation in spanish so all i can do is give you synonyms and hope for the best#and as we know while synonyms may be similiar they do not actually mean the same thing#like theres different contexts and shit#michi tag#ugh
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my dad confuses me on the daily
#so yesterday we got a new car for me since mine broke down (again) and is not worth fixing in his opinion#(i say ‘we’ bc i need a car for work but have literally no money rn so my dad bought it but i will be paying him back just to clarify)#and our budget was very low so we ended up getting a slightly beat up 2005 ford escape for $2000#the girl selling it was asking $2500 but my dad loves negotiating plus it needs a repair in the next couple months#and my dad was telling me used cars are way too expensive right now and even $2000 was too much especially since it needs a repair#but the repair is only gonna cost maybe $300 (very minor imo bc i’ve had a lot of way bigger issues in the past lol) and it’s not urgent#meanwhile my old car literally will not start and it’s going to cost at minimum $800 to fix#and we’re not positive if there’s another issue but more likely than not there is and it would actually be closer to $1500#which is why we’re not keeping it even though i wish i could#and my dad wants to try and sell it for $2000???#like first of all it’s from 1998 and has 220k miles on it and we didn’t even pay $2k for it we paid $1500#and he says it’s worth more bc we’ve put a lot of money into it over the years i’ve had it but like currently it is not functional at all#if someone buys it and is willing to pay $800-1500 to fix it they would also have to pay to tow it to a shop unless they can tow it themself#oh and not to mention there’s a big dent in the side that would cost another $700ish to fix bc of the spot it’s in#like as much as i love that car there is no way anyone is going to want it especially not for $2000 😭#unfortunately i think the best we can hope for is to find someone who will buy it for parts so rip to my baby#lj.txt
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Its 2 am and im crying over a childhood friends dad who died when I was 13 or 14 so thats how my nights going
#like. man. he was a good guy#the last time he ever spoke to me was when i was becoming friends with a major bully#who was actively bullying his kid and was goading me into joining her#and like i said some awful shit to kam#but their dad was so fucking nice and patient with me about it and like sat me down and told me he didnt think being friends#with her was good for me and that he understood it was maybe a confusing time for me (about to start middle school) and#i was just trying to look for acceptance where i could find it. and i really hurt his kid so he wouldve been totally justified in like#yelling at me or telling my parents i was being an ass and it wouldve been totally fucking justified#and i didnt listen to him#and kam and i made up after lindee moved a couple years later but we were never close again obviously#and then they got evicted when their dad lost his job and moved and then a few months to a year later he died in a motorcycle#accident on his birthday#and i wouldve liked to be there for them after that. but i was still kind of...ashamed that i didnt listen to his advice so i didnt#push my dad to reach out to their mom or anything (theyre still facebook friends)#idk#it just kinda suddenly hit me that hes dead even tho its been over a decade#you were a real one gary#listening to you wouldve saved both me and kam a lot of grief#hope kam is living their best life
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xenophilius lovegood the silly little guy that you are supremacy
#he’s just a single dad!!#trying his best!!#and being a wee bit silly too but that’s all good🫶🫶#I actually love him tho#he’s the best#xenophilius lovegood#pandora#pandora lovegood#harry potter#marauders fandom#hp#luna lovegood#couple goals#silly little guy
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