#just delete tumblr and ao3 and be fucking boring and normal even though no one really knows what you do on tumblr

[imwritesometimes]

how to overcome your incredible self-loathing, cringe embarrassment, perfectionist tendencies, and finally feel decent abt fic you've written - definitely not written by me cause I'll never figure it out....

[underforeversgrace]

where the wounds were hidden

title: where the wounds were hidden

words: 5629

summary: When there's no one to talk to, sometimes a diary is all someone can turn to.

(This is the Danny POV of 'broken trust and the wounds hidden behind.' Please read that first or this won't make any sense.)

@astatia-ghast

AO3

Tumblr Chapter One of broken trust

AO3 for broken trust

The video shook, opening into a very boring view of a dark hardwood floor, the sounds of clicks and clacks all that was able to be heard as someone did something off screen.

“Are tripods supposed to be this difficult?” An echoing voice asked from somewhere beyond the camera's sight. More shuffles, more movements. “Got it!” The voice exclaimed, releasing a small ‘whew’ of victory.

Footsteps that grew close and then the sound of the camera being picked up, though it still offered no view of whoever was in the room. Instead, it was merely a nauseating sway and someone’s legs, clad in tight black material with white boots. Finally the camera was lifted up, small snapping sounds indicating it was being mounted on something. The scene was nothing incredibly interesting - a small bedroom, the walls a soft blue, though depictions of the aurora borealis were higher up, where they then darkened as the image continued up onto the ceiling, eventually settling into a dark black.

Simple furniture one would expect was visible - a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, a bookcase, though the bed was smaller than most adults would have in their room. Overall, it looked so normal. Unless you looked closely at the comforter strewn across the bed, saw how constellations danced on it, how the colors moved and changed of their own accord. Saw that something which was green and glowing with unnatural brightness sat in vials on the bookcase. Noticed the occasional bursts of light which lit up on the dark ceiling, a rocket lazily flying through the scene.

This was a room not of Earth, that was for sure. As someone finally came into view, he appeared to not be of Earth, either. His white hair, his eyes the color of the vials on the shelf, the white glow around his form. No, he certainly wasn’t human.

“Oh, shoot, when did I press record?” He asked, leaning forward, coming uncomfortably close to the camera. A shrug and he backed away, letting the back of his legs get caught on the bed behind him, bouncing slightly as he landed flat on his back from the force of the fall. He sighed and then sat up, eyeing the camera.

“Welcome to Danny’s diary.” Danny said, waving shyly at the camera. “Not sure why I feel the need to say that. This is so for my eyes only.” He fidgeted, suddenly seeming unsure. A derisive laugh came from him. “Seriously, am I even awkward with myself? Could I be any more lame?”

Each word he spoke seemed forced and awkward. He closed his eyes, taking several deep breaths.

He brushed his hand through the disheveled white mop of hair he had, sighing.

“Okay. Danny, for the love of the Ancients, can you not be weird for five fucking minutes?” He sat up straighter, seeming to gather his courage.

“Hi, me from the future! If I’m watching this and not just deleting it. If I’m actually gonna keep up with this. Things have been… well, they’ve been getting hard. Four months like this and nothing is getting easier.”

The teen relaxed, body visibly releasing tension the longer he spoke.

“I’ve got my powers mostly under control, so that’s… better than it was. I’m not phasing my hand and losing my fork anymore. I’m not losing hold of the transformation. The whole being a ghost part is actually the easy part, ironically enough. Flying is my favorite part. The whole ‘my hands are basically weapons of mass destruction’ is pretty cool, too. Even if a little terrifying. Like I have more power than is safe.”

His face visibly saddened as he continued. “It’s the human part that’s making my life hell, y’know? It’s my family trying to kill me, my sister trying not to give up on me, my friends trying to be understanding everytime I cancel with a bullshit excuse, but I can tell they’re getting sick of it. It’s the bullies at school - Dash, especially - using me for target practice and having to rein in my strength, having to not react and punch that asshole through a wall. It’s the classes I’m failing, it’s the disappointment from everyone around me.”

Danny shrugged and sighed. “I want to tell someone. Anyone. I want to stop going through this alone, but the risk is just too much. Like, can you imagine? Two ghosts hunters learning their son is one? I’d be strapped to a table in ten seconds. Jazz can’t keep a secret to save her life. Sam and Tucker… they’re the ones I wanna tell the most. They’re the ones most likely to understand and accept me, I think. I just can’t bring myself to do it. To make them live with the secret the way I am. But it does make for a very lonely life.

“That’s actually why I’m making this, y’know? I can’t talk to anyone. Jazz tried yet again to corner me at school, demanding to let her know what’s happened to me. She asked who I was going to talk to, then, if I wouldn’t talk to her. Was I just going to talk to myself? And the idea… it didn’t sound bad. I may not be able to talk to someone, but I can still talk about it. Let it out.”

He smiled slightly. The more he had spoke, the easier his words seemed to be. “Yeah, this definitely isn’t my worst idea. I feel… a little better. Good idea, Jazz.” He joked. He moved towards the camera and all that was left was blackness as it was turned off.

~~~~~~

The video started in the same room, Danny settling on his bed. Despite there being no obvious physical change - he was even in the same jumpsuit - there was something different in him. In the way he held his shoulders, in the bags under his eyes. Even the camera couldn’t hide the haunted look in his eyes. He looked like he had fought through Hell and barely escaped.

“So good news is I get portal opening powers sometime in the next decade, so that’s kinda cool. I also might be strong enough to cause the literal apocalypse, though. That’s… less fun.”

He stared at his hands as though they were snakes about to strike. “I don’t want to ever be that. I won’t become that.”

Blinking back tears, he clenched his hands into fists. “And I’ve taken steps to ensure that. What happened to drive me crazy can’t happen now.” Tears slid silently down his face. “I was going to lose Sam and Tucker anyway. They weren’t going to put up with my shit for much longer. It was inevitable.” A scowl formed on his face at the word, as though angry at himself for using it.

“At least Clockwork saved them. Of course, that accident is the kind of bad luck that fucking follows me, isn’t it? The only thing stronger than my bad luck is a goddamn Master of Time, I guess. Cuz, seriously? What fucking kind of accident is that? My parents meeting with Mr. Lancer at the Nasty Burger about my grades, my sister tagging along because of fucking course she did. Sam and Tucker just enjoying a meal - only there because it was my idea, yet I was running late fighting some damn ghost, I didn’t have the chance to save them.”

Danny began to cry in earnest. “And then boom - the Nasty Burger and everyone inside was blown sky high. Everyone I loved, dead because of me. Because of my grades, because of my inability to show up.” 

Voice breaking, he continued. “It wasn’t hard to push them away. I’m not sure if that’s the good or bad option - good because I didn’t have to fight them for something I don’t even want, bad because of how much they’ve given up on me.”

“‘I can’t keep pretending like this, that I want to be your friend. I’m tired of coming up with excuses when I just don’t want to be around you.’” He said, over exaggeratedly moving his head around in a mocking manner.

Danny’s face fell and he began to cry. “They’re gone.” He clung to himself, loud, broken sobs coming from him, as his entire body shook with the force of his grief. “They’re gone.” He repeated.

All the camera caught after that was a heartbreakingly long shot of Danny laying on the bed, burying his face in a pillow as he cried before abruptly cutting to black when, presumably, the camera’s battery died.

~~~~~~

“Well, that fucking sucked.” Danny said, hand pressed to his side, his body occasionally shaking, anger visible on his face.

He looked older now. Baby fat had begun to melt from his cheeks. His shoulders were slightly broader, his jumpsuit a little tighter in the arms as it clung to lean muscle, even as he looked just a little too thin.

But his face was one of someone who knew tragedy, who knew it intimately and survived it, who had gazed into the abyss and seen the darkness. He looked old beyond his years. His eyes were tired, bags were even more prominent. He looked ready to crumble in on himself.

“By Clockwork, my parents really are going to be the ones to do me in. Again.” He said viciously. “Kill me with the portal then kill me with another invention. Seriously - they named it the Fenton Fryer? They already fried me once, goddammit!”

The anger slipped away, bone deep exhaustion replacing it.

“I think I need to film a goodbye video. It’s been so long and I’m so tired. I don’t know how much longer I can live like this. But even if they’re the ones to destroy me, destroy Phantom, I owe it to my family to give them an explanation if Danny Fenton never comes home. So just… film a tell all, a confession. And hope they forgive me at the end of it.”

He closed his eyes, wearily running a hand down his face. Despite the remnants of youth not yet faded from his face, he looked ancient in that moment.

“I don’t want them finding these, though. These are for my eyes only. But there’s so much other data on this drive that might be helpful, especially against some of the frequent flyers here. I don’t want to part with these videos, though. I… I can’t explain it. They’re a part of me now, even if I never rewatch them.” A deep sigh. “I’ll just move these to a different thumb drive and leave everything else on the original.”

Danny laughed bitterly. “Normally when a teenager thinks about leaving a goodbye video, it’s because they’re depressed and ready to go. Of course, no part of me can be a normal teenager. My goodbye video is ‘oops, sorry you killed me’ for my parents.”

His entire body seemed to shiver involuntarily, making him hiss in pain. “I’ve gotta avoid the Fryer next time. It’s been days and it still fucking hurts. I’m still getting an electric shock every time I touch metal. Eye opening though, huh? The proof of how dead everyone wants me, proof of how they’re getting closer everyday?”

Danny shook his head rapidly, suddenly lurching towards the camera and turning it off, the sound of a soft sob the last thing it caught before the recording ended.

~~~~~~

Danny was pacing this time, grumbling to himself as he pulled at his own hair.

“I hate that fucking fruit loop. ‘Oh, be my son!’” He said, openly mocking whoever he was imitating. “‘Oh, trust me! Oh, do this, do that! Just renounce your father and I’ll keep you safe!’” 

He threw his hands into the chair, exasperation clear on his face. “Maybe if he would prove he actually gave a single shit about me as a person, that he wasn’t just a narcissistic asshole, maybe I’d consider him. But he doesn’t give a fuck about who I am, what makes me me. No, I’m just the only other halfa. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that!”

He sat down on the bed with a little too much force, huffing angrily. “Clearly Vlad has never heard the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words.’ If he would be a decent person for one fucking day, I probably would consider it. Er, without the whole offing my dad bit. Just in general. No murder. Those aren’t hard parameters! Act like a goddamn human and don’t murder people!”

Throwing his head back, he grunted in frustration, landing with his back on the bed. “There isn’t anything holding me to my family. Amity’s my responsibility and I can’t leave, but I don’t need to live with my family. But Vlad just wants another lackey to push around. Not me. Not Danny. Just the halfa.”

Danny laughed bitterly. “Seems everyone wants Phantom. Not Fenton. No one wants Danny Fenton.” He was silent for several moments.

Very softly, almost below the ability of the camera’s microphone to catch, he whispered. “I don’t think I want Fenton anymore, either.”

~~~~~~

Danny seemed barely able to walk as the next recording started. The distance from the camera to his bed was no more than a few paces, yet his breathing was labored and he was curled in on himself. Halfway through, he lost his balance, falling to all fours, a pained yelp pulled from him. He pulled one hand from the floor and wrapped it around his center. He tried to push himself back to his feet but the act seemed to be too much for him. Essentially crawling, he made his way to the bed, though he didn’t try to pull himself up, instead sitting up and leaning his back against the side of it.

Danny’s chest heaved as he desperately drew in air, though every rise of his chest seemed to bring him pain, making him grimace.

He leaned his head back, resting it as he closed his eyes. He nearly seemed asleep as he stayed like that several minutes, until his eyes eventually fluttered back open.

“Fuck the Guys in White. Seriously. Fuck them and fuck the US government and just fuck everyone else.” Despite the harshness of his words, there was none of the expected vitriol in his voice. His speech was broken, hitching up at odd spots, too low in others.

“Hell of a cold open, huh?” He said, laughing softly. “I don’t know what else to do. I can’t leave my lair for a while - I need the ectoplasm in the air to help heal me quicker than I can in Amity. I need to talk, but just talking to the air makes me feel insane. At least now I’m talking to a camera. Makes me feel less like an outright crazy person.”

Danny’s entire body convulsed violently and his jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth, pulling himself into a ball. It was over a minute later when the shakes finally subsided.

“I can’t believe the government’s number one idiot squad actually caught me. A lucky shot when I wasn’t looking. It’s such bullshit. And, Ancients, they’re just fucking sadistic. The scientist who… the one who did most of the work, especially. She was worse than most ghosts I’ve faced! At least none of them laugh at me while they’re beating the shit out of me! But she laughed. How could someone see someone else like that and fucking laugh?” He asked, a faraway, haunted look appearing in his eyes. 

The silence stretched for several minutes. 

“They said I deserved it. I didn’t. I didn’t deserve that.” He eventually said to the empty room. “I didn’t,” he repeated, as though he had to convince himself of it.

“I got so lucky, though. That’s awful to say, isn’t it? I got… yeah, I got yeah, and I’m still saying it was a lucky day. I don’t know what happened, to be honest. I felt my core get pierced. And then there was just… an explosion. Every single electronic in that facility failed, I think. Not sure how my ice core produced lightning but I’m not complaining. Maybe because of how I died? I don’t know. I don’t care. I got out but I don’t know if anyone got hurt, if anyone died. Is it bad I don’t care? Is it worse that I hope the lady who treated me like… like I was absolutely nothing died?

“I’ll never forget her face. I’ll never forget her laugh. Ancients, my life is absolutely fucked. I’d say she’d be in my nightmares, but I’d need to actually have time to sleep to dream.”

Danny eyed the camera before shrugging. “Not worth turning it off.” He muttered, reaching under the bed and blindly looking for something, eventually pulling out a large first aid kit. He peeled off the top half of his jumpsuit and grabbed at the gauze, pressing it against the already stitched wound on his chest, dabbing off spots where ectoplasm dribbled from the poorly done sutures.

The pain on his face as he spent the rest of the video tending to the large injury until the camera died didn’t seem to just be physical.

~~~~~~

Danny settled into his normal spot as the recording started.

“He talked to me.” He said, looking starstruck. “Dad talked to Phantom!” 

A small smile appeared on his face - it was so rare he smiled in these videos. “He listened to me! I never thought I’d be saying this, but I owe Spectra a thanks. I can’t believe it!

“I just… I still can’t believe what happened. I’d been so sure when he showed up that I was about to get shot in the back. But he attacked a different ghost, he didn’t even seem to be aiming for me. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen him not aim for me, no matter what ghost I’m trying to beat into the Thermos. And then he protected me from Spectra, I think? He got her away from me and I was able to pull myself together. I hate her whole shtick.”

He laughed softly. “We actually made a decent team for a moment there, surprisingly enough. Although I really need to keep a better eye out on enemies and not forget they haven’t been souped yet.”

Danny absentmindedly pressed a hand against his side, though the jumpsuit hid whatever it was he was holding. “I’m not sure why I listened to him when he told me to wait, before Spectra reappeared. Surprise, maybe? He’d never just asked me to wait, it was weird? And then he didn’t Fade Spectra, he caught her like I would.

“But then he put his weapons down,” he continued. “Jack Fenton, willingly disarming himself in front of the dangerous ghost Phantom. It was surreal. He talked to me, insisted he didn’t want to hurt me. He apologized! He finally believed I have emotions!”

The smile had continued to grow larger, it was nearly alien to see a large smile on the boy’s face. “He talked to me as Fenton about it, too! I’m actually inclined to believe him. He wouldn’t need to lie to his son if he was trying to trick a ghost. He wants to be an ally, my ally. I never thought… I expected to fight alone for the rest of my life, y’know? I can’t bring myself to fully trust him. Not yet. But maybe. Maybe. I can stop doing everything by myself.”

~~~~~~

A black object sat in his hand and he was entirely focused on it, staring at it like it held the answers to life.

“He got me a cell phone. Phantom me, I mean. Honestly, this entire night feels like a good dream. I almost suspected Nocturn to be behind it, for it all to be fake. But I learned how to tell his dreams from reality last time he came here. This is real. Everything my dad said to me today was real.”

The tears in Danny’s eyes were nothing new to these videos, yet these were different than before. These were tears of happiness.

“I don’t even know how to react to what happened tonight, to be honest. He had kinda scared me at first, literally falling into my stargazing clearing and saying he was looking for me. I mean, how else should I react to that? He was shooting me just last week! And then we just… we just talked, like this was a perfectly normal occurrence. And when he noticed the Lichtenbergs, he asked to hug me? He apologized again. It was really nice. I’ve never been hugged as Phantom, I thought I’d be too cold. Hell, when’s the last time I’ve been hugged at all? I missed it.”

Danny sniffled, rubbing his nose with his hand. “He believes in me. Human me. He hasn’t told me that in at least a year. Not gonna lie, while hearing him say that he thinks Amity’s citizens believe in me was nice… knowing he believes in Fenton is the best part. They haven’t given up on me. They haven’t stopped loving me.”

He ran his fingers along the smooth back of the cell phone, still looking at it like it was the most unbelievable thing he’d ever seen.

“I’m starting to wonder if he’d accept me if he knew the truth. I’ve never been sure. But I’m beginning to lean towards ‘yes.’”

~~~~~~

Danny was standing this time, doing some sort of work out with his shoulder, occasional flickers of pain crossing his face as he seemed to reach the limit of his range of motion in that arm.

“He came as soon as I messaged.” Danny began. “He must’ve left the house as soon as he got my text, as quickly as he got to me. He actually came for me, can you believe it? Honestly, I don’t remember much after sending the message and I kinda wish I did. But, blood loss is a bitch. I know he sewed me up and did a really good job. I think we talked, but I can’t think of any specific topic, it’s all so hazy. I do remember him hugging me again. I’ve never seen Dad cry like that. He genuinely seemed to feel so guilty for what he’s done. For all the pain he’s caused me.

“I used to be so upset at him, if I’m being honest. That he couldn’t tell Phantom was his son. That he would never listen, that he always shot first and asked never. I don’t know when I did, but… I think I forgive him. I’m not angry or hurt thinking about him anymore.”

He sat down, perching on the edge of the bed like he so often did. He continued to move his shoulder in circles, pulling on it with his opposite hand. A grin had settled on his face again. “And then we just talked. Not all of it was pleasant, sure. But most of it… was. The conversation with him was just so easy - which is a statement I didn’t think I’d ever be able to say about Jack Fenton again. Not with all the lies and the secrets I keep, not with the way I always had to make sure to not let him see how scared I was whenever he talked about ghosts. But this was easy and it was fun. It was fun to talk to him.

“My constant puns, the ecto-suit and what happened with Pariah Dark, my Obsessions, and just general ghost lore. The whole time, he was just literally so excited to talk to me. He acted like his normal scientist self, that I always wanted to bolt from before. But I didn’t want to this time. I think I was as excited to talk to him as he was.”

Danny looked away from the camera, running his hand along the comforter on the bed, watching the shapes and colors shift. “We talked once about testing my powers, like how fast I am. I’m still not 100% sure about going into FentonWorks as a ghost and doing the tests. But that distrust and fear is starting to feel more like habit. I want to trust my father. I think I eventually will.”

~~~~~~

A broad grin was immediately visible as the recording began, Danny messing with the camera.

“I did the testing!” He exclaimed, practically vibrating with excitement. It was a nice change from the sadness that almost always appeared in his videos, that had slowly been fading the past few entries.

“First of all, I’m fast as hell. I kinda wanna just go fly at top speed and see how long it takes me to cross the country and come back. Maybe later. But that’s not the point today.”

Danny began to pace, seemingly full of energy and anticipation.

“I’m telling him. I trust him. He passed every test I gave him, even if he didn’t know he was being tested. He turned off all the ghost shields I asked him to. He went a step further, even! He disabled the weapons systems - I didn’t even mention those! As far as he knows, Phantom didn’t even know those existed. He showed them to me! He didn’t have to do that! And then the actual testing was legit fun! I am so much more powerful than I thought I was, which is so goddamn cool.

“Even better, he seemed to be having fun, too! And there was not a single time where I felt trapped or overwhelmed, where I thought Dad was trying to push me beyond what I was okay with. I wasn’t on alert for needles or invasive testing at all. Like, do you know how insane that is? Until recently, I hadn’t felt comfortable around Mom or Dad since before the portal opened. And now I’m standing in their lab, a whole ass ghost, and I’m not scared.

“He even reacted the way I hoped he would when I asked him to shoot at me! He visibly didn’t want to. Jack Fenton didn’t want to shoot Phantom! When he did agree, he got the smallest weapon around. I think he even aimed away from me ‘cuz he hit the shield way to my side, but that could just be his aim.”

The teen barely seemed to breathe as he excitedly chattered. Even beyond the foreign excitement on his face, Danny just overall looked better. The bags under his eyes had begun to fade. His shoulders didn’t seem so tense. He no longer looked like he was staring down the barrels of a firing squad. He had visibly gained weight since the beginning of his father’s change. Danny, for the first time in any of these videos, looked healthy and happy. 

“I’m gonna tell him,” he repeated. “I don’t think he’s going to reject me. He’s accepted Phantom. He’s been trying to bond with Fenton.” Danny chuckled slightly. “This is exactly what Vlad couldn’t do - actions over words. Jack has repeatedly proven he’s capable of change. I need a few days, I think. Figure out how to do it, how to explain it. I’ve never had to describe what I am - Vlad and the ghosts already knew. How the hell do I tell a ghost scientist he is wrong about even more ghost science than he realized?

“I’ve always wondered which of these diary entries would be my last, morbid as that may be. But it’s hard to be me and not contemplate death. When and how, who would land the final hit. Before, I’d have been convinced this would be my last entry. Convinced Dad would shoot on sight. I don’t know how I’ll tell him - as Fenton or Phantom? Just casually and randomly in the living room or planning to do it during dinner? I’ve never told anyone. I have no idea what the best procedure for explaining ‘hey Dad I’m half dead and you used to shoot me a lot but since you’ve stopped, I trust you to not dissect me’ is.”

Danny stopped pacing, grinning into the camera. “I’m not going to be alone in this anymore.”

~~~~~~

PLEASE CONFIRM - DELETE ALL FILES?

Danny hesitated, even as he hovered the cursor over the YES button. For so long, his video diaries had been such a large part of him. He’d never rewatched a single one, but their simple existence had become so important to him, maybe since it was the only times he’d ever been completely honest in so long, even if it was only to himself.

He eyed the most recent video - the one from a little over a week ago, where he’d decided to tell his father. He had gone to his lair to film another diary entry, but now… it didn’t seem important. He’d been his own and only confidante for years and now he had someone else in his ring.

He’d left without so much as turning the camera on. Whereas he used to immediately have the urge to film his entries whenever something notable happened, the only place he allowed himself to talk about all the awful things he had been through, the urge was simply gone.

Now, he simply sat at the computer in his parents’ lab, USB drive plugged in and every recording he’d ever made in front of him. There were over four hundred entries in this drive. If he hadn’t swiped this super capacity drive from his parents, he’d have gone through so many thumb drives by now, the sheer size of that many video files beyond the capabilities of a normal retail drive.

He still struggled to believe how well that night had gone.

He’d decided to do it in the stargazing clearing, just in case he ended up wrong and needed to bolt. He was going to tell him as Phantom. He had a whole speech he'd rehearsed in front of the mirror dozens of times.

The second Jack had arrived, though, he’d frozen, his carefully planned reveal immediately forgotten. It had been nice when his father had laid down next to him and watched the sky with him. Even then, with Jack so willingly laying so close to a ghost, Danny couldn’t force the words out of his mouth. Jack had ended up being the one to start the conversation, despite Danny being the one to call the meeting.

Danny had managed to steer the conversation to a close topic - his human life and his human aspirations. Jack had listened to his every word, confirmed his faith in both his son and the ghost beside him. But Danny had choked. He just… he couldn’t. It was too much change, it was too much risk.

It was just too much.

Danny would be eternally grateful his father hadn’t let the topic drop so easily. He hadn’t meant to admit how much he feared himself, the misery another version of him had wrecked. To be honest, he had never meant to talk about his dark self at all, but if he ever did, he would probably have decided to wait until after his Fenton/Phantom confession. Maybe deciding to do the confession on the anniversary of the now never happened Nasty Burger explosion hadn’t been a great idea, even if it had turned out okay.

He had wanted to cry with relief when his father had continued to support him, even holding Danny against his side. As simple a statement as it was, when Jack said ‘maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do’ that had pushed Danny forward.

He had come to this clearing to confess. He had come here with full faith in his father. He did know his father and he was done being afraid.

Danny had forced the words out of his mouth, forced the transformation, trying to swallow the panic making him ill, constantly reminding himself this was his father, his father loved him, and he was absolutely safe.

Apparently, it would be Danny getting his entire world blown away by a confession in that clearing, not his dad. That Jack had known for weeks. That Jack wanted to earn back Danny’s trust and love, that he wanted Danny to feel safe knowing his parents knew his secret. The fact he had done that had made Danny feel more loved in that moment than he had in a long time, from even long before the portal opened.

He knew soon he’d have to reveal the truth to his mother, eventually she’d return from her conference. But Jack had reassured him and they had spent hours watching the sky.

For the first time since his death, Danny had felt entirely safe - loved, protected, respected, wanted. And all it had taken was his father dropping some duct tape.

PLEASE CONFIRM - DELETE ALL FILES?

Danny didn’t need the diary anymore. He no longer needed to hide away and conceal himself even in his home. He had someone to listen to him other than an empty room and a camera.

YES

He clicked the button and watched the deletion screen, the progress bar felt like an eraser as it slowly stretched across the screen. He watched as it erased years of pain and distrust.

“Danno!” Dad called from the top of the lab stairs. “Do you want Chinese again?”

A grin graced his face. “Yeah!” He shouted back. “Don’t forget the tuna rolls!”

The computer beeped as the progress bar reached 100% completion, confirming everything was gone.

He was erasing years of pain and distrust, yes. But he was preparing to march forward into years of love and acceptance.

And he didn’t need his past holding him back.

[bytheangell]

Believe in Something Beautiful

(Read on AO3) (I tried to post this on the ask itself but Tumblr had a crisis and it got all messed up so I had to delete it and make a separate post OOPS) -------------

The opportunity Isabelle gets to study with the Iron Sisters is a once and a lifetime offer, and that’s on top of the fact that it’s something she’s personally dreamt of since she was a little girl. So of course Jace doesn’t so much as blink before agreeing to take over as temporary Head of the Institute while she’s away.

“Are you sure?” she asks for the millionth time before leaving as if this will be the time he suddenly decides to change his mind. “I know you hate the deskwork side of things, and-”

“Iz, it’s fine. It’ll just be a few months, I can handle it. I promise not to let the place burn down while you’re gone.”

The reservations she has are true, of course, but he isn’t going to admit that he’s secretly loathing not only being mostly resigned to an office for the duration of her trip but feeling much more alone without Alec or her around. Instead, he gives her a bright smile and shoos her out the door before she can stall any longer.

The first few days are definitely an adjustment but Jace actually kind of likes the new role once he gets into it. The paperwork sucks, sure, but he makes good use of the still impressively stocked drink cart Alec brought in when he was Head of the Institute, as well as the upgraded plush sofa Isabelle insisted on. All in all being stuck in this particular office isn’t too bad… at least not for the first few weeks.

After that Jace starts to go a little stir-crazy. He tries to keep up with his training, whether it’s with the other Shadowhunters or Simon or just on his own in the training room, but every time he does he’s pulled away for another debriefing or meeting, which leads to more reports until the day is over and it’s already time to go home.

Going ‘home’ nowadays, more often than not, has meant going back to Simon’s apartment. Sometimes Jace stays the night at the Institute but usually only when it’s absolutely necessary. Otherwise, he makes his way to Simon’s place for some quality time with his boyfriend. No matter how tired he is at the end of the day he’s rejuvenated by the sight of Simon, always eager to see him and listen to him complain about whatever nonsense he had to deal with that day. It’s a relationship Jace never saw coming, one he never would’ve imagined for himself in a million years, but’s it’s good. If he wasn’t afraid of jinxing it he might go so far as to say it’s perfect.

Things stay that way until a couple of months into Izzy’s absence. Jace can’t place it at first, just a lingering uncertainty which isn’t something he’s used to feeling. It doesn’t click until he’s training with some of the guys at the Institute and someone pokes a sparring staff at his stomach, making a joke about how he’s getting soft - literally - since taking over for Izzy. It’s an off-handed comment, nothing worse than Jace has said about any of them at one time or another and just meant to poke fun, but it hits something much deeper and Jace finds he can’t let the words slide off him like he normally does. He laughs with the others, of course, and thoroughly kicks their asses during the part of the session he manages to participate in before he’s pulled away to go over something strange on the surveillance cameras, but the words stick with him.

Soft. Jace Wayland has been called a number of things in his life, but soft has never been one of them before now.

When he’s changing in his room to go meet up with Simon, Jace spends a long time looking at himself in the mirror. He isn’t overweight, not given his body’s starting status of ‘abs-sculpted-like-a-statue’s’, but that only makes the lack of definition that much more obvious to him now. Simon hasn’t said anything but surely he’s noticed too, how could he not? Telling himself it isn’t a big deal Jace slips on a fresh shirt and a decent pair of dark jeans to meet Simon after work.

After dinner, sitting on the sofa with Simon’s hands sliding under his t-shirt and up his sides while they make out, Jace is acutely aware of the fact that there’s more to slide over now. When Simon pulls Jace closer by the waist he tenses at the touch as if aware for the first time of the way Simon’s fingers dip into the flesh there.

“Everything alright?” Simon asks, stopping when Jace freezes up.

“I-” Jace starts, uncertain. “I don’t feel so great, actually. Might be something I ate. Mind if we... just don’t, tonight?” Jace feels immediately guilty for the half-truth. He doesn’t feel well all of a sudden but he knows exactly why, and it isn’t bad seafood.

“Of course,” Simon says easily, shifting so Jace can reposition himself next to Simon on the sofa. “Do you need anything? I could run to the store and get some medicine.”

Simon’s immediate concern only doubles Jace’s guilt. “No, I’ll be alright,” Jace insists, wondering if that’s a lie too as Simon turns on the TV until they both fall asleep on the sofa.

---

Jace leaves Simon’s place early enough the next morning to get in an hour-long run before he needs to be at the Institute. He knows it isn’t going to do much - it’s taken months of letting himself go to get this bad, he isn’t going to fix it with a day of jogging, but it feels better than doing nothing. For a few days he makes excuses to not go back to Simon’s place: waiting for a late patrol to come back, covering a security shift, even as lame of an excuse as ‘i’m too tired’ when there really is no other reason he can give.

He doesn’t lie… he just doesn’t add that he’s the one going out of his way to make sure he has things keeping him ‘stuck’ at the Institute at night, though he knows this can’t last forever.

So Jace starts to get clever. Whenever things start to get heated on the nights he does go back to Simon’s, Jace immediately takes control, insisting that he’s going to take care of Simon. It’s actually one of Jace’s favorite things, to watch the way Simon falls apart beneath Jace’s touches, the way he’s so blissed out by the end of a very thorough blowjob that he doesn’t argue too much when Jace insists he doesn’t want anything himself. The sex - the few times Jace lets things get that far - is rushed and always with the lights off, with Jace keeping as much clothing on as possible and almost always finding an excuse to not be able to stay afterward to cuddle.

He hopes, a bit naively, that as long as they’re still having sex that Simon won’t notice anything is wrong. Jace can’t remember the last time he let Simon see him naked, something that used to be very common for them, and he knows the lack of that sort of intimacy won’t go unnoticed forever. With all his other tactics Jace buys himself an extra week or two until Simon’s asking him if something’s wrong again.

“You just seem… distant lately,” Simon continues, concern written all over his face. Jace can’t stand the fact that he caused this gap between them but he can’t bring himself to admit what’s bothering him, either. He’s ruining everything and for what? Simon clearly doesn’t care.

Still, he can’t silence the voice in the back of his head reminding him that this isn’t who Simon signed up for. Jace is all quick wit and sarcasm, he’s confidence and an ego larger than all of Brooklyn. That’s who Simon fell for and expects from him, so that’s who Jace needs to be. He needs to figure out how to feel like himself again, and fast.

“Just a lot on my mind, work stuff. It’s nothing I can’t handle,” Jace says, leaning in to give Simon a quick kiss.

“You know you can talk to me, right? About work, or whatever else is going on?” Simon offers.

“Yeah, of course I do,” Jace agrees quickly.

He then proceeds to bury every worry he has deep down into the back of his mind and does his best not to think about it, let alone talk about it, again.

---

Jace continues to make excuses, manipulate any intimate encounters for minimum contact, or just flat-out avoiding Simon entirely. Avoiding is easier than lying and Jace gets better at it as the days pass. Or maybe he just gets more used to it… he isn’t sure he likes the implication of either option.

At first, Simon tries to fight him on it - rearranging his schedule so he can visit Jace at the Institute, trying to insist Jace come over no matter how late it is, doing his best to puppy-dog-eye Jace into staying in bed for more than 5 seconds - but Jace manages to pull himself away every time.

After a while, Simon stops trying so hard. Then Simon stops trying entirely. After not hearing from Simon for two days in a row Jace ends up calling him instead of the other way around.

“Hey, I hadn’t heard from you in a while, I was starting to worry,” Jace says, relieved when Simon picks up.

“I didn’t think you’d notice,” Simon says, his tone casual. Jace can practically hear the shrug behind the words.

“What do you mean?” Jace asks, though he thinks he has a good idea.

“I mean, every time I’ve tried to make plans you blow them off anyway, so I figured I’d stop trying and you could just call me if you ever felt like leaving the Institute again,” Simon replies, and this time there’s a bit of an edge to his tone.

Jace deserves that, but he doesn’t expect it. Not from Simon.

Fuck, what is he doing? He could feel the gap between them forming, he knew he was the cause, and he still let things get so far that Simon has all but given up on him from the sound of it.

“I’m Sorry, Si.” That much isn’t a lie. Jace is sorry.

“Don’t be sorry,” Simon tells him, sounding sad and defeated, and about as tired as Jace keeps claiming to be. “If you’re bored with me just tell me, and we can stop pretending.”

There’s silence over the phone line while Jace processes those words. Is that really what Simon thinks? Is that what Jace let Simon think all this time?

“I’m not,” Jace insists. “It isn’t you, Simon, I swear.”

There’s a long pause, and with obvious reluctance Simon slowly asks, “Is there someone else?”

Jace can hear the fear in his voice, the dread of what answer may come from asking, and his heart breaks knowing it’s all his fault that Simon has these doubts about them.

“No,” Jace says, just as quickly as before. He’s messed things up worse than he realized and wonders if there’s going to be anything to salvage once he’s finally honest with Simon. He has to be honest now - there’s no other option. “We should talk, but not on the phone. Are you-” Jace starts to ask if Simon is free but remembers that he volunteered to take Underhill’s security shift that night so he could go on a date with Lorenzo. Of course, he took it to avoid Simon not knowing everything was going to go so wrong, so quickly. Overly aware of how bad this is going to look now of all times, Jace sighs. “I have to stay late tonight,” Jace winces as he admits. “But tomorrow? First thing in the morning. I’ll come straight over after the shift and we’ll talk.”

“Sure,” Simon agrees easily enough, except Jace knows him well enough to the doubt there, the way he doesn’t get his hopes up that Jace will follow through this time.

“I promise. As soon as the replacement shows up I’m gone. You’re my priority.” He’s already making a note to cancel a mid-day meeting he planned on attending after a few hours of rest, and one later in the afternoon just in case.

Just in case what? In case it takes all day to convince Simon to forgive him? In case Simon doesn’t forgive him and Jace is left to pick up the pieces of his failed relationship? Jace shakes the thought from his head, hoping he hasn’t messed things up that irreparably.

“I love you, Simon,” Jace tells him, holding his breath for the seconds that stretch on after his words before Simon sighs.

“I love you too, Jace.”

The line goes dead and Jace stares at the phone in his hand for several long minutes before pocketing it. The rest of the night is spent counting the seconds until the morning shift will take over while also dreading that moment in equal measure. What is he going to say? He has plenty of time to think about it left alone for most of the night, but he hates everything he comes up with. It doesn’t feel like enough, or it feels like too much, or it feels like he’s making excuses.

A few hours later, tired and weary, he’s out of time to think. The fresh air during his walk to Simon’s works well to clear his head and he reminds himself of one thing: he loves Simon, and he needs to figure out what he can do to fix what he broke. If he starts there then the rest will hopefully fall into place. It isn’t like he has many other options.

Jace knocks on the door and waits with bated breath.

“You’re here,” Simon says when he opens it, and Jace tries not to feel as hurt as he does by the surprised words. He deserves that. He deserves so much worse than that.

“I am,” Jace says. I always will be, if you let me. Please, let me stay, he wants to beg, but doesn’t. Simon steps aside and Jace goes in, making an immediate beeline for the sofa. He’s too anxious to sit, however, and stands back up almost immediately.

“I’m sorry,” Jace starts. It’s the simplest place.

“For…?” Simon prompts.

“For making you think you did something wrong. For avoiding you, instead of telling you what was bothering me.” Jace is certain there’s more than that he should apologize for but it seems like a good starting point. “It just felt so ridiculous, and I figured I’d just get over it… but I didn’t, and it was easier to avoid than admit until we talked last night and I realized how bad I let everything get and I- I don’t want to lose you, Simon.”

Simon, who was doing a very good job standing with his arms crossed looking unimpressed, softens considerably at that. “If it’s bothering you that much it isn’t ridiculous. And I kept telling you that you can talk to me, I wish that you had.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jace admits. “But I am now,” he adds hopefully. It might be too little too late but he has to try.

“So?” Simon prompts again, not letting up. “Do I get to know why my boyfriend’s been avoiding me, or are you just going to say sorry and try to pretend it never happened?”

“I was embarrassed because of the weight I put on.” Jace has to force the words out, already hating himself the moment he hears them leave his lips.

Jace expects Simon to laugh but instead Simon looks him up-and-down in consideration. “I wondered… but you have to know I don’t care about that, right?”

“You might not, but I do.” Jace frowns. “I didn’t realize just how much until I started going out of my way to avoid you even seeing me, let alone touching me.”

“That’s when you started insisting on all those ridiculous quickies,” Simon pieces together, shaking his head. “I should’ve realized.”

“No, I should’ve said something. I thought if I kept it up once and a while it’d be enough to hold things over until I got… comfortable again.”

Simon snorts at that, then looks immediately apologetic. “Sorry. I know this is serious, and the sex is great and all, but you do know I’m dating you for more than just that, right?”

Jace manages a small laugh at that. “I figured it was probably a 75/25 split,” he jokes back. This is a good sign, right? If Simons’ laughing, even for a second, maybe he doesn’t totally hate him.

“My point,” Simon reels the conversation back in. “Is that you should’ve said you were uncomfortable. We could’ve stopped things for a while, or forever if that’s what you want. I’m dating you because I like you, not because of your body. Though, I mean, it is an amazing body.”

“It was stupid,” Jace argues. “I overreacted.”

“Did you?” Simon says, raising an eyebrow. “You still feel that way, don’t you? Even now?”

Jace almost opens his mouth to say that he doesn’t, that everything is fine and he just wants to go back to the way things were before, but he knows it’d be a lie. And he just got done apologizing for not being honest in the first place. It’s a hit to his pride but he knows he needs to tell Simon the truth even if he isn’t happy about it.

“Yeah, I guess,” Jace admits, not meeting Simon’s gaze.

“If it bothers you then it isn’t stupid. I’m mad you didn’t tell me, but I’m not mad you’re uncomfortable. Honestly? I love your body like this. Every last inch of it, whether those inches were there before or not. Hell, it’s nice to have the playing field evened out a bit since I’ll never have your Adonis-abs,” Simon says, and though he eyes Jace’s body he doesn’t make a move to reach out for him.

“Yeah, well, that makes one of us,” Jace mutters, crossing his arms in front of him self-consciously. He hates the space between them, he wants to reach out and pull Simon close and never let him go again, certainly not for as long as he has recently, but he still can’t bring himself to do it.

Simon seems to sense that, too. “But it doesn’t matter if I’m okay with it if you aren’t. I’ll tell you what - let’s just put a hard stop on anything physical until you’re comfortable with it again. But when you are - and I mean the second you give me the okay - I get to show you exactly how beautiful I think you are. Whether you look like you did six months ago, or like you do now, or if you put on 100 more pounds, I’m always going to think you’re gorgeous, and I’m going to remind you every day so you never forget it again, starting now. Jace Wayland, you are the single most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

Jace mentally curses the traitorous flush that he feels in his cheeks at the declaration, but smiles. “Thanks, Simon,” he says.

It’s tempting to say that he’s fine, to pull Simon into a kiss he knows after this long won’t stay chaste for long, but he doesn’t want to end up right back where he started and he definitely doesn’t want to risk pushing Simon away again.

“Do you think we could just take a nap? I’m exhausted, and I miss falling asleep with you.” Jace knows after everything he has no right to ask, but any concerns are gone the moment Simon nods eagerly and smiles.

Simon holds true to what he said earlier, stripping down to his boxers before getting into bed, waiting to see where Jace decides to position himself and what he wants to do. Simon doesn’t push things, and when Jace settles in behind him to wrap his arm around Simon - a deliberate choice, they both know now - Simon only shifts slightly to fit in his hold easier, not saying a word.

Feeling more relaxed than he has in weeks, Jace falls asleep almost immediately.

---

When Jace wakes up it’s to Simon running his fingers gently through a loose strand of hair that fell over his face while he slept. At some point Simon must’ve woken up and turned to face Jace, content to simply wait for him to wake up rather than leave.

“Good afternoon, beautiful,” Simon says, and Jace shakes his head.

“You’re really sticking to that, aren’t you?” Jace says, a little surprised.

“Of course I am. I meant it. Until you believe it yourself I’ll just have to believe it enough for the both of us.” Simon gives a little shrug with the one shoulder he can move, and Jace is filled with such a sudden and overwhelming sense of certainty that Simon really does mean it, that he isn’t just saying it to make Jace feel better, that he doesn’t know what to do with the emotion that comes with the realization.

“I wish I could see what you see,” Jace mumbles out the passing thought, still so half-asleep that he doesn’t even realize he said it out loud until Simon replies.

“Maybe I can convince you,” Simon offers.

Jace considers the offer for the second time that day. “And how, exactly, would you do that?”

Simon shifts backward so he can sit back on his heels, leaning over Jace as he lays on the bed. “If you’re uncomfortable you’ll tell me to stop, right?”

Jace nods, and Simon pauses an extra second but seems satisfied with his answer. Jace wants to see what he can manage because he misses this. He misses them, and even just spending this morning back with Simon with everything out in the open is doing wonders to ease some of the discomfort he felt before.

“Well,” Simon starts, pushing the comforter off of them entirely to move so that he’s straddling Jace, kneeling on either side of his thighs. “I’d start by saying I’ve noticed you growing your hair out, and I love the way it lifts when the wind catches it just right,” Simon brings a hand up to comb through the light, loose pieces of Jace’s hair that flop into his face when they aren’t styled back, like right now.

“Then I’d tell you how beautiful your cheeks are when they get that little tinge of blush you can’t hide when you’re embarrassed,” Simon continues, leaning over to place a kiss on each of Jace’s cheekbones. Jace can feel that very same blush form there, warm under the cool touch of Simon’s lips, and Simon smiles down at him as he pulls back again. “There it is. Beautiful.”

Simon moves his gaze to Jace’s lips, placing a kiss there, this one lingering long enough that Jace tries to lean up into it just as Simon pulls away again, but not before he catches Jace’s bottom lip in his teeth for just a second before moving down his jawline and onto his neck. Jace tilts his head back to give Simon more access, shuddering at the barely-there scrape of fangs against his throat as Simon speaks in between each kiss. “And how beautiful you are when you open up for me like this,” Simon says, peppering kisses in between. Jace barely manages to hold back a moan as Simon sucks a mark onto the skin just above his collarbone.

Simon sits back again, resting on Jace’s thighs while his hands trail down Jace’s arms.

“I’d tell you how I can’t see your arms without remembering every time you used them to pin me against a wall or lift me up onto a table with such irresistible strength,” Simon continues, his hands moving from Jace’s arms to grab the bottom of Jace’s t-shirt and pull it off over his head, giving him access to Jace’s chest. Simon rocks his hips ever so slightly with the action and Jace’s breath catches, instinctively arching his body up off the bed to chase the brief friction.

“I’d tell you that ever since you started putting on weight-” Simon’s words slow deliberately, his eyes full of lust and wanting as they trail down Jace’s body, followed by that gentle caress of his fingertips again. “-I’ve dreamt about the way it’d feel when I held on to it while I fucked you, imagined the beautiful marks I’d leave there, the soft skin bruised over and scratched-”

“Fuck, Si,” Jace barely manages to breathe out, eyes closed as he pictures it and… yeah, okay, maybe he can see what Simon sees. Simon’s words make him want it too, his thoughts lost in the knowledge that it’ll be so much better than he can even imagine, if only because it’s them, and suddenly Jace is entirely incapable of finding anything unappealing in the idea of giving himself over entirely to Simon. Everything he built up in his head, all the reservations and self-consciousness, fade to nothing but distant background noise while he’s here in Simon’s arms.

Simon, goddamn him, hovers over him, smirking.

For the first time in weeks Jace feels desire without reservation wash over him, but it isn’t desire in spite of the idea of Simon touching him - it’s because of the idea of Simon’s hands on him, revering his body just as it is now, that has every nerve in his body tingling in anticipation. Jace had been so trapped in his own head and his inability to feel nothing but disgust over the changes in his body that he didn’t even consider the possibility that Simon might actually like them, or at least not hate them the way Jace did.

“Show me,” Jace says suddenly, and Simon wastes no time bringing his hands from Jace’s shoulders down his chest, teasing gentle touches along his sides.

“So beautiful,” Simon repeats, peppering kisses down his stomach, his hip bones, stopping right at the line of Jace’s boxers to look back up at him in question one last time. Jace nods, not trusting his words just then, and a minute later both his and Simon’s underwear are discarded on the floor next to the bed.

“You’re perfect, Jace,” Simon tells him, and Jace can feel the heat rise not just in his cheeks but everywhere, his entire body alight with the effect Simon’s words have on him. “And all mine. I’m so lucky to have you like this all. to. my. self.” Simon emphasizes each word with a small bite, two on the inside of each thigh.

“I think I’m the lucky one,” Jace says, letting out a small gasp as Simon begins to stretch him. All thoughts, positive or negative, leave him entirely as Jace loses himself to the passion of the moment, to the feeling of being wanted, of being longed for.

True to his word, Simon never lets Jace forget exactly why he’s here and why they’re doing this. Jace is surprised when, after all their time apart recently and all the buildup, Simon takes things slowly. He never stops telling Jace how beautiful he is as he’s keeping his promise of marking every inch of skin he can, always returning to slide his hands over Jace’s stomach and sides and thighs, gripping them tight, giving them the most attention.

Jace embraces every new sensation - the way it feels to have Simon’s fingers press into areas of him that were nothing but unforgiving bone and muscle before, appreciating the way their bodies seem to blend and connect in ways they didn’t before.

Jace is aware of every time Simon glances up at his face just to double-check he’s still alright, still with him. Jace is aware that every touch, even the rough ones, are a reassurance and a comfort.

Jace is aware that this is Simon taking care of him, mind, body, and soul, from start to finish. And he knows that care doesn’t end now that they’re lying next to each other again to catch their breaths.

“That… was…” Simon starts, but Jace cuts him off.

“Beautiful?” Jace suggests, with the slightest teasing tone to his words. “I know.”

“Do you?” Simon asks, not teasing at all, and Jace’s taunting smirk fades to something softer.

Jace spent his entire life being who he thought others expected him to be, living up to the expectations set by those around him. There was always a push to do better, to be better, that he’s never felt satisfied with where he is at any given time. There’s always something to change, something to improve. But here, now, with Simon, he feels like for the first time he’s able to be okay with who he is and the way things are right now. That he’s fine, just like this.

“Yeah,” he says, probably about as surprised as Simon to find that he isn’t just saying it to deflect now - he actually means it this time. “Yeah, I do.”

[galaxysgal]

Fanfic asks: #1, #7, #13, #22, #24, #29, #35, #47, #48 :))) I love your writing

omg anon tysm 💕💞💖💕❤💗💗💞💕

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in? Well the first fandomy things I read were Harry Potter and then pjo/hoo stuff, but then I didnt really get involved in a fandom until I became obsessed with Dear Evan Hansen and Newsies, and, well, now I'm here!

7. List your NOTPs from each fandom you've been in.

Harry Potter: Harry/Ron

Pjo/hoo/all that: Percy/literally anyone other than Annabeth. They're my babies and I love them. I'm sure there are others but its been so long since I read those lol

Hamilton: literally everything that isnt "canon" bc its history and I'm a history nerd, so I just can't ship that stuff

Dear Evan Hansen: I'm not super opposed to it, but I just dont really ship Alana with anyone, I hc that she's on the ace/aro spectrum

Newsies: I dont hate them, but I'm not a fan of Jack/Spot, Race/Jack and Race/Kath... Tbh I'm pretty plain and boring for newsies, I stick mostly with the more common pairings, with a few rarepairs (unrelated but hhhh do y'all remember when ralbert was a rarepair ahbsnaj my baby boys theyve grown so much

Supernatural: Sam/Dean. Its literally incest y'all are fucking insane. No apologies. Also Cas/Meg bc Twist and Shout traumatized me.

Marvel: STONY!!! Idk why y'all, i just do. not. ship it. But I can see where people are coming from so I guess its not exactly a NOTP... Anyway others are thor/loki, thor/valkyrie tony/rhodey, thats about it

Star wars: r*ylo. luke×leia. kylo×anyone. I'm pretty sure anything else is fair game tbh, its space and everyone is queer, let them have their fun

Psych: Shawn/Gus, Shawn/Lassiter, Lassiter/Juliet. Yes, I hc Shawn as bi, but that doesnt mean I ship him w/ any of the guys in the show... Shawn and Juliet are soulmates. Period.

13. Any NoTPs? Anon, sweet baby ily, you either picked random numbers or accidentally said both of these... Either way its the thought that counts babe <3

22. Is there anything you regret writing? Ugh yes I had this Stucky fic where Steve was a tiny asthmatic dude just living his life and Bucky was the strong one armed contractor that was fixing his deck and there was super weird sexual tension and it was badly written. I have since deleted it from ao3, my fic doc, and my memory. It lives on within the depths of the mind of my bestie/beta reader/editor/confidant/number one supporter @thelazyhero-ttums who read it and was the one who made me realize how terrible it was. It was a rude awakening but im glad I had it bc it made me the writer I am today lmao

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit? Hshsjajs RIGHT AND RECONCILIATION!!! Right and Reconciliation are the first two newsies fics I ever wrote. The plot is solid and could be great if I just rewrote it... My aforementioned bestie is the leader (and sole member) of the Rewrite Right and Reconciliation crusade but tbh I don't think ill ever rewrite them unless theres a college assignment thats like Rewrite Something You Wrote In Middle School Even Though You Hate It

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not? I don't have an official beta reader, but between running things by @natthemess, my bestie from before, my friend missa, usually about 80% of every fic I post has been read before I post it bc I thrive on,the validation of my friends

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about? Okay so by technical definition a drabble is 100 words or less, but I consider everything under like 750 to be a drabble, so by those rules yes I write drabbles. I actually have a series of Assorted Newsies Drabbles on my ao3, and I mostly write them about fluffy stuff, a lot of soft cuddly morning fics, little projections of things I'm feeling if ive had a particularly bad day/strong emotion stuff like that

47. Archive, fanfic.net or Tumblr: which do you prefer to post and why? Archive and Tumblr. Archive bc its the Superior Fanfic Site, and tumblr bc I feel like it boosts my platform. Also yes, I shamelessly linked my ao3 up there in the question, check it out if you like :P

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why? Yes. Yes! YES!!! Why, you ask? Because I am an author and I know how it feels to have 600 hits, 100 odd kudos and 12 comments (including your own replies to comments.) It just hurts a lot knowing literally only 1% of people took the time to comment. Literally all it takes is a "I loved this! Great writing!!" Or a "HAHAJSHAJJSHS BABIE,BABIES BABIEST ILY" that shit makes my day.

[plume8now]

Wrong Number

Pairings: LawLu, ZoSan, MarcoAce, Saboala

Summary: “Why do you care? We don't know each other.” – Torao “Of course I know you, you gave me your number and your name, Torao!” – Luffy “Wait, what? No, it was a mistake. And my name is Law, not 'Torao'.” – Torao “Torao is good too.” – LuffyLaw only wanted Bepo to help him at the hospital, he never asked to have this "Luffy" guy as a SMS penpal, all of this because he typed a wrong number!

Warnings: Humor, Wrong number, phone texts, SMS discussions, Fluff, Romance, Crush, AU, Friendship, Nakamaship, Meatloaf's great cat, Teasing, jokes & puns, Light Angst, introvert & extrovert characters, Social Issues

A/N: *SCREAM OF VICTORY* I. DID. IT! I posted this chapter. I wrote it. WooOow.  Now, I really hope you'll like it, but I can't promise you will. You decide. Thank you all for your comments on AO3/ff, your support on Tumblr, and especially to @lululawlawlu who's always telling how much they like what I write (let's be honest I drew a lot for 6 months instead of writing and really thought I would never go back to writing and wasn't really happy about that).Okay I'm gonna stop now. I'm just so excited. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 =[AO3 - ff]=

“[Picture MMS]” – Luffy

“Meatloaf's such a lazy cat” – Luffy

“I'm bored and he doesn't want to play!” – Luffy

“Honestly when are you NOT bored?” – Torao

“Sometimes I'm not. When I talk to you for example!” – Luffy

[…]

“Hey I just realized!” – Luffy

“I never asked you if you had a pet!” – Luffy

“I don't recall you asking yea” – Torao

“And??” – Luffy

“I... don't have a common pet.” – Torao

“[Picture MMS]” – Torao

“OMG SO COOL” – Luffy

“WHAT'S THIS?” – Luffy

“Iguana.” – Torao

“That's its name??” – Luffy

“... No. The name of the species.” – Torao

“What's the name then?” – Luffy

“I didn't give it a name.” – Torao

“W h y” – Luffy

“щ(ºДºщ)” – Luffy

“... Because I didn't” – Torao

“No, you must.” – Luffy

“Does it breATHE FIRE?” – Luffy

“CAN IT FLY?” – Luffy

“It looks like a DRAGON” – Luffy

“No. It can't. It's a freaking Iguana.” – Torao

“Call it Komodo” – Luffy

“I was expecting anything related to food I'm kinda surprised.” – Torao

“Komodo dragons aren't iguanas Luffy-ya.” – Torao

“Well you must give it a name!!!” – Luffy

“Why is it so important?” – Torao

“Because it's your daily friend!” – Luffy

“Call it Lizard.” – Luffy

“That's just a widder name of species.” – Torao

“Saying no to Reptile right now.” – Torao

“Okay fine!” – Luffy

“Just find a name yourself then!” – Luffy

“You're not gonna let it go are you” – Torao

“Nope.” – Luffy

“I'll think about it.” – Torao

“°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°” – Ace

“(☆▽☆)” – Luffy

“໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७” – Ace

“ー( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ” – Luffy

““(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง" - Ace

“(ง •̀ゝ•́)ง" - Luffy

“ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ So how's your life and job?” – Ace

“I've only broken 6 dishes this week. Zoro says it's progress d=(´▽｀)=b” – Luffy

“I'm still wondering how they didn't fire you already, to be honest.” – Ace

“I know right! ( ᐛ )و ” – Luffy

“By the way, we're wandering in your country right now with Marco, are you free tonight? (^-^) Sabo told me he was ready to come too!” – Ace

“REALLY? (ง ˃̶͈̀ᗨ˂̶͈́)۶  Yeah, awesome! Come whenever you want!” – Luffy

“Marco absolutely wants to add one condition though 〜(￣▽￣〜) ” – Ace

“Which is?” – Luffy

“You're not doing dinner.” – Ace

“Shishishi don't worry, I won't!” – Luffy

“Great. See you tonight then! Ｏ(≧ᗨ≦)Ｏ ” – Ace

“ o(≧∇≦o) Yeah!!” – Luffy

“Do you have any siblings?” – Luffy

“Why suddenly interested in my private life?” – Torao

“What are you saying, Torao? I've always been interested in you!” – Luffy

“Indeed. And you always were very discreet.” – Torao

“You're avoiding the question, Torao!” – Luffy

“Maybe” – Torao

“Maybe?” – Luffy

[…]

“Why the sad face?” – Bepo

“I don't have a sad face.” – Law

“You're not smiling either.” – Bepo

“Are you going to assume that I'm sad each time I don't smile?” – Law

“No, 'cause then you'd be sad constantly.” – Bepo

“KIDDING PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN!” – Bepo

“If you have something to tell me you can also open the door and say it instead of spying on me behind the windows.” – Law

“I was just looking at you, not spying” – Bepo

“What's with the aggrissivity anyway? Something bad with Luffy?” – Bepo

“No. Why would it have anything to do with him? My life isn't reduced around that guy.” – Law

“Here it goes again...” – Bepo

[…]

“Are you okay?” – Bepo

“Heya Luffy! How're you and Iron-Cat doing? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧” ” – Franky

“His name's Meatloaf, Franky, but we're fine!” – Luffy

“I do believe a name is a word suiting the one wearing it. What if Cat2D2 doesn't like it? Oh wait no, Cat3PO! God, my names are pretty nice. And he always seems to enjoy them.” – Franky

“Of course, 'coz they're all robots related names! Who wouldn't like them?” – Luffy

“So you do admit Baby-Voltron is better?” – Franky

“Baby-Voltron?” – Luffy

“Voltron is a tiger. Cats are baby tigers! Ingenious, right?” – Franky

[...]

“No.” – Luffy

“Once again, you're a terrible liar. I know your eyes are amazed.” – Franky

“Whatever, the name's Meatloaf!!” – Luffy

“Astro-Cat.” – Franky

[...]

“RobotCat” – Franky

“Kitty-Bender” – Franky

[...]

“Ultron-Cat?” – Franky

[...]

“I take that as a confirmation for the fabulous names I made up.” – Franky

“Meatloaf!” – Luffy

“Catimus Prime” – Franky

“Torao?” – Luffy

[…]

“Did I say something wrong?” – Luffy

[…]

“I had a surgery to take care of” – Torao

“You really not are patient, are you?” – Torao

“Shishishi, I guess so” – Luffy

“So 'bout your family? o(^▽^)o” –  Luffy

“I had a sister” – Torao

“Had?” – Luffy

[...]

“She passed away a few years ago.” – Torao

“How was she?” – Luffy

“As stubborn and noisy as you” – Torao

“How can you tell I'm noisy?” – Luffy

“Oh, I just can.” – Torao

“You're really incredible, Torao ˉ(´��`)ˉ ” – Luffy

“Hey Luffy (ง •ૅ౪•᷄)ว , Sabo here! Ready for tonight??” – Sabo

“Yeah!! When will you guys be here?” – Luffy

“I'm already in town, but I think I lost Koala (''￣▽￣) Could we meet somewhere?” – Sabo

“Of course! Remember where Nami stole your wallet, the place near the huge fountain?” – Luffy

“Damn right I remember the ice-cream seller thought I was stealing from him!” – Sabo

“Shishishi, she already apologized she didn't know you were my brother! Anyway, let's go there? And tell Koala!” – Luffy

“Will do! (ノ^∇^) ” – Sabo

“I know!!! FireFly!” – Luffy

“I told you. Doesn't fly. Doesn't fire.” – Torao

“Urg you're so not fun” – Luffy

“Yoi, Luffy! Did Ace tell you?” – Pineapple-Head

“What about?” – Luffy

“Coming tonight, yoi” – Pineapple-Head

“Yeah he did! Great to see you guys again, been a while!” – Luffy

“Sure! But- did he say something specifically, yoi? – Pineapple-Head

“About dinner?” – Luffy

“Yeah, about that-yoi” – Pineapple-Head

“Not against you, but last time everyone almost died so...” – Pineapple-Head

“I was just feeling like if we could avoid it that'd be nice, yoi.” – Pineapple-Head

“No prob I understand! But I don't remember there was nothing particular last time, was it?” – Luffy

[...]

“That's exactly what's worrying me, see” – Pineapple-Head

“That that was something normal for you Ace and Sabo, yoi” – Pineapple-Head

“Shishi I guess” – Luffy

“But y'know btw, I think it's funny but you don't always have to say 'yoi' when texting!” – Luffy

[...]

“Yoi” – Pineapple-Head

“YOI” – Pineapple-Head

“YOI” – Pineapple-Head

“YOI” – Pineapple-Head

“YOIIIII YOI YOI Y O I Yoiiiii yoi yOI~” – Pineapple-Head

[…]

“?? Okay （・∀・） ” – Luffy

“Sorry Luffy, that was Ace. Stole my phofkohdldffdsklj” – Pineapple-Head

[...]

“To make fun of me” – Pineapple-Head

“Shishi that's alright, I figured!” – Luffy

“That was fun.” – Ace

“Well done (ી(΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)ʃ) ” – Luffy

“ (ી(΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)ʃ) ” – Ace

“Meet me at the fountain in 20 minutes? Luffy's waiting for us there” – Sabo

“I'm on my way! But that's really close, could be there in less than 20 minutes?” – Koala

[...]

“Don't tell me you're in a food store again” – Koala

“Might be?” – Sabo

“You are a lost cause” – Koala

“We're supposed to have a meeting in a few minutes to have dinner with your brothers! Who'd eat before a dinner?” – Koala

“They had free sashimis!” – Sabo

“Why do I even bother asking” – Koala

“Do you?” – Torao

“Do I?” – Luffy

“Have siblings” – Torao

“Two older brothers! They're coming tonight at my place!” – Luffy

“They live far away?” – Torao

“Kinda, Sabo's working on missions and stuff like that with Koala very often and Ace moves out every two years with Pineapple-guy, they can't stand remaining at the same place for too long.” – Luffy

[...]

“... Koala and Pineapple-guy?” – Torao

“Koala's Sabo's girlfriend and I keep forgetting Ace's boyfriend's name but his head does look like that fruit” – Luffy

[...]

“I know I should be used to this by now but somehow I'm not” – Torao

“Shishishi that's good~ Life without surprises is boring!” – Luffy

“If you say so” – Torao

“Do you like cats?” – Zoro

“Of course I like cats, why wouldn't I?” – Sanji

“Yeah of course you like cats. Remember, you told Luffy you'd 'help' with Nuisance or something just to bother me.” – Zoro

“Not everything's about you, shitty marimo.” – Sanji

“Anyways. I'll drop by tonight, no need to buy stuff I'll give you everything” – Zoro

“... I'm not taking Luffy's cat.” – Sanji

“He won't notice, his brothers are coming tonight!” – Zoro

“That's worse he'll notice even more since he'll want to introduce him to them!” – Sanji

“Please just take it” – Zoro

“That's kidnapping, I'm not doing this” – Sanji

“Technically that's catnapping” – Zoro

“That's a no” – Sanji

“C'mon curly-brow. I never ask you anything.” – Zoro

“That's not what I recall from yesterday evening...” – Sanji

“You practically begged, if I recall well” – Sanji

“What a delightful memory” – Sanji

[…]

“I can bet anything you want you're blushing and deleting those messages.” – Sanji

“That cat is getting fatter and fatter, always in my way and ripping my stuff apart but I'm pretty sure you could get along. After all Nuisance's also your middle name.” – Zoro

“Don't worry I'll remind it to you as much as I can to cure this sudden Alzheimer (• ‾⌣ ‾•)و ♡” – Sanji

“Fuck you” – Zoro

“You wish” – Sanji

“Die” – Zoro

“┌∩┐(ಠ_ಠ)┌∩┐” – Zoro

“♡” – Sanji

“[Picture MMS]” – Luffy

“We're having the best dinner ever!” – Luffy

“I'm pretty sure you never tasted food as good as Sanji's!” – Luffy

“Hey, maybe you should come one day to give it a try!” – Luffy

[…]

“Okay now there's something wrong.” – Bepo

“Would you please stop sending texts once for all when I'm in the same room.” – Law

“You literally threatened to stab me last time, I want to keep my distances!” – Bepo

[…]

“If you ever need to talk just remember I've always been here and will always be.” – Bepo

“[Picture MMS]” – Luffy

“Pineapple-guy's complaining about us not sharing food. I thought he knew us better than that. Food's something you gotta earn!（￣ー￣）” – Luffy

[…]

“Thanks again for yesterday, Luffy! Amazing time. Let's meet again soon!” – Sabo

“Yeah!! Can't wait for next time -(๑☆‿ ☆#)ᕗ! ” – Luffy

"-(๑☆▽ ☆#)ᕗ" - Sabo

“Amazing evening. Seeing Marco pouting was priceless. Must do it again!” – Ace

“Of course! °˖✧◝(^▿^)◜✧˖° ” – Luffy

“I can't believe you called him Pineapple-Head all night though.” – Ace

“Can't remember his name, not my fault 」(￣▽￣」) ” – Luffy

“It's been years Luffy” – Ace

“Well yeah he should be used to it!” – Luffy

“Stop talking behind my back to your brother, yoi” – Marco

“Me? Never. How can you believe such a thing?” – Ace

“I have eyes. I know you, yoi. I know that smile.” – Marco

[…]

“Portgas D. Ace, suppress this smirk from your face at once.” – Marco

[…]

“(≖ᴗ≖๑)” – Ace

“I'm divorcing our relationship.” – Marco

“We're not married (≖ᴗ≖๑) ” – Ace

“I'm unrelationshipping us.” – Marco

“As if you could.” – Little Fucker

“Pineapple.” – Little Fucker

“Pineyoipple.” – Little Fucker Until The End

“And deleting your number.” – Pineyoipple

“Meatloaf looks sick, Zoro swears he didn't do anything. I'm not sure I trust him on this, I caught him on the phone yesterday yelling at Sanji for being a cat kidnapper coward. Sounded suspicious!” – Luffy

[...]

“I've been thinking maybe we feed him too much, he looks fatter than before.” – Luffy

[…]

“Are you busy again?” – Luffy

“Working on Sundays shouldn't be allowed.” – Luffy

“I have to work again at the Baratie for the whole evening!” – Luffy

“Sounds unfair.” – Luffy

“Just because I forgot to tell them I was taking a break yesterday.” – Luffy

“Maybe that wasn't the first time BUT STILL!” – Luffy

“I can't leave Meatloaf like that.” – Luffy

“Where are you?” – Luffy

“Out. Why?” – Zoro

“I'm out of money, can you lend me some?” – Luffy

“You're asking me?” – Zoro

“Uh, right, should've known better.” – Luffy

“Now that hurts. I still can manage!” – Zoro

“Don't ask Nami she's gonna ruin you” – Zoro

“I know what I'm saying don't ask her” – Zoro

“Nami, I need you to give me some money!” – Luffy

[…]

“I stared at this message for a few minutes and I still can't believe it exists.” – Nami

“That's about Meatloaf. He's sick. I need to take him to the vet!” – Luffy

“Meatloaf-Mop-Cat? You mean your cat?” – Nami

“Yeah!!” – Luffy

“Well not really surprised I actually wonder how didn't he get sick before.” – Nami

“Hey! That's mean!” – Luffy

“Alright I'm coming. We'll see there.” – Nami

“Thank you!” – Luffy

“She agreed!” – Luffy

“Don't trust her she's a witch.” – Zoro

“By the way dear, you still owe me those 3 000 berries remember?” – Nami

[…]

“Don't ignore me I know you read this message your phone betrayed me.” – Nami

“[Picture MMS – screenshot]” – Nami

“Fuck it.” - Zoro

“What was it even for?!” – Zoro

“Each time I had to help you financially when you ended up out of town without anything to pay for the transports throughout the year.” – Nami

“Time to tell the truth, Luffy! Have you and Law met yet?” – Shachi and Penguin

“Huh? Nah, why?” – Luffy

[…]

“...” – Shachi and Penguin

“H O W” – Shachi and Penguin

“How wat” – Luffy

“How did you keep up this relationship with him??” – Shachi and Penguin

“I mean it tooks us years to get his number? And we literally saw him everyday? And you just randomly got it?” – Shachi and Penguin

“Is that so incredible? .-.” – Luffy

“YEAH.” – Shachi and Penguin

“If you say so” – Luffy

“THEY DIDN'T FUCKING MEET” – Shachi

“Speechless.” – Penguin

“That was to expect” – Bepo

“What?” – Shachi

“Well, didn't you notice? When you think you finally know Law, he's always proving you wrong right at that moment.” – Bepo

“True...” – Shachi

“Damnit.” – Penguin

“So they're what? Internet friends?” – Penguin

“Not even. They didn't meet on a network.” – Bepo

“Amazing. I'm gonna type a few wrong numbers be back in a while.” – Shachi

“Uh” – Penguin

“That's not obviously gonna work you know?” – Bepo

“It worked with Trafalgar Freaking Law though?” – Penguin

“Yeah well you don't know who's the guy he's talking to either” – Bepo

“Still doing it!” – Shachi

“Well that's gonna be fun I'm coming” – Penguin

“...” – Bepo

“Okay wait for me!” – Bepo

If you liked the story, leave a comment! a like! reblog and tag! Go talk to me! I'd love that! Suggest what you want! Tell me what was wrong and you didn't like! Tell me what you loved! Tell me what disturbed you so I explain why I did this or that to you! Anything to make this story something you'd love to read again.

PS: the smileys take so much time to find sometimes i regret my life choices