(so everyone knows i won’t be answering asks about this chapter or doing comment reblogs until tomorrow!! in case of spoilers idk if anyone even cares about spoilers about this silly fic)
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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I feel like now is a good time to announce that I’m in the process of moving blogs! Im doing so for a few reasons, the main one being paranoia, so for that reason I won’t be saying my new urls publicly so like please dm me if you’d like my new url so you can follow me there! I’ll be reblogging this post a lot so ppl can see it (so sorry if you get annoyed by that)!
I’m also remaking my discord account as well so if we’re friends on there then feel free to message me for my new username!
friends and mutuals please do reblog so shared friends/mutuals have a higher chance seeing it!
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What's your twitter @
I’m not on phannie twt or anything I have a very old private account that I use to just like regular posts and eventually started lurking on phantwt when they post the occasional funny thing lol so I’m not going to share the @ for it sorry I’ve been tempted to make a phannie one but I already spend too much time on here and I wanna keep it that way so I’ll keep posting stuff from there during tour if non twt people want updates otherwise I’m going to fall too deep into the social media spectacle again
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Mmmkay so, a little life update. A generally negative vibe but nothing crazy. So feel free to skip over this.
TLDR: Low Activity. (aka depression got hands.)
So I think the reason I cannot keep motivation despite having all the muse in the world is depression. Now, that’s not a particularly surprising or revolutionary epiphany of course. Been diagnosed for years now. It be like that.
But with my current situation of being jobless for 3ish months, bills racking up, stuck inside, and a million other things I’m trying to not let get to me, it’s taken all of my energy. I’m tired, in a mental sense. I’m worrying all the time. I’m trying to keep my head above water. But fuck I’m having a bad time.
And I am eternally grateful for the friends I have that are currently housing me, I’m grateful that I qualify for food stamps, I’m blessed with family that helps me when they can. But I’m still just. Tired. Sad. Restless. I know all things will come in due time but I’m so tired of this fucking cycle of struggling to survive.
Anyway, before I get too vent-y-
All this to say, my activity across my blogs will be very low. I can only really muster up the energy to reply to things that really spark my interest, but even then it’s hit or miss. I appreciate everyone sticking around thus far, you’ve all been very sweet. I’m so sorry to those waiting on replies and things. Please keep being patient with me if at all possible! But if not I understand!
That said, if u read this far thank you, and please wish me luck, I’m trying to fix the situation I’m in so I can actually have fun again.
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I like posting fics at night right before I go to bed because that way I’m not awake and constantly refreshing to see how many people have read it yet
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Morality this, consent that, who’s right, who’s wrong — blegh. Can it not just be about the pathos of a group of deeply fucked up people crossing and double crossing and loving and hurting and betraying and saving and killing and dying over and over and over and over and over because what else are you meant to do when eternity is staring at you dead in the eyes? It’s gothic, it’s horrible, it’s exquisite, it’s transporting, it’s the most beautiful train wreck you’ve ever seen and you watch it happen with a guilty conscience you turn onto the people inside the train because surely they must be the guilty ones, not you, not me, we only watched it happen, we didn’t participate. So alright fine, we can play at being the judge and jury, then, but I’ll tell y’all a secret:
It’s a fuckin tv show, man. And a fantastic one at that.
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Man, feeling a long lasting friendship that means the world to you and has kept you going for years, slowly dissipate; and just sitting there unsure whether or not to hold onto it or let it go; is a whole other type of pain.
It’s like being in a pool of water that’s gradually getting cooler and cooler which is just so slightly painful, but you want to stay in because it might get warmer. And you’ve already gotten used to the temperature, even if it hurts. Getting out is scary.
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