#just like a BLAH of brain mush

[bandsanitizer]

I don’t like the idea of regrets or wanting to change things in the past when ultimately it leads you exactly where you are, y’know? but there are times where I think about 5sos and their start and their sound and I wonder how much different their art would be had they’d taken off within the pop-rock/pop-punk scene instead. if they didn’t spend the first half of their career needing to prove they weren’t a “boyband” while also not making a big deal about it either way.

because I think, they’d have been too pop for the genre of a lot of the bands they covered, but at the same time they were a touch too rock influenced and “real instruments” for the pop scene they were invited into. and I think that notion, to start off with the idea that there’s something to prove about who they are as artist… I think it set the tone that has always sort of stuck to the presentation of their music. hence all the self-titles. it’s like this search for self, but applied to the band. there’s the push and pull to the different parts of the industry their influences and leaning have caused and while it makes for interesting music and all the differences in the albums they’ve released, it does make me wonder how they would’ve grown differently as artist had they not been set on their pathway to fame by a louis tomlinson tweet, but more along the lines of them having toured with hot chelle rae.

this isn’t to say I have negative feelings about their whole story, etc. but there’s just the curiousity towards alternate timelines, of parallel universes, of existences that split because of one moment. and while I know there are obstacles and hardships whichever way, I do wonder if they would’ve escaped the very real conflict of trying to discover their sound, or if that same struggle would’ve been just as present, just appearing different.

and it makes me want, so badly, for them to be able to find their sound. as a fan, I do believe they have to an extent—bc there are 5sos songs I’ve heard that do not sound like a 5sos song. and 5sos5 really showcases a sense of the band’s identity that’s been a long time coming. but as each member is still growing and figuring out themselves, there’s also this sense that this isn’t just quite yet their sound? if that makes any sense. like that hint of wfttwtaf in some of the tracks? it’s the feeling that while the band is all four of them coming together, and maybe there’s no need for them to try to hone down a singular Sound together (and I mean they don’t have to LOL), there’s aspect that go “oh that’s a luke track” “that’s a michael track” etc etc not un similar to “oh they listened to all time low” or whatever present in their first two albums. that while naturally you will hear each of them in the music, I’m always excited for the blend of them all in the sonic. and maybe that’s subjective, but to me as great as 5sos5 is and all, there’s part of me that think it’s leading to the next album that just fucking… blows the rest of their discography away.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[presumablydeadarm]

my problems and disorders are getting to me again.

[sophsicle]

not to be obnoxious. but i really like the jily in choices. and now you're thinking, bitch i should hope so, you wrote it. WHICH, yeah, fair point. but, it's super overwhelming to receive a lot of negative feedback on something, especially when that negative feedback is like "you're a morally corrupt person writing horribly morally corrupt characters blah blah blah die" y'know? so like, there are a lot of parts of that story that, in my head, have been a bit warped, by having people repeatedly tell me how awful they are. but sometimes i'll read bits of it and im like "wait. no. this is actually good (grammar mistakes aside - im sorry, i know it's bad, i had school and work and my brain was clearly mush or something idk)." like. chapter 55 jily. i just love it. i love when lily tells james he's putting on an act in therapy. i love when she tells him that now, when she looks back, all these memories she thought were about them, have regulus's fingerprints all over them. and he tells her he thinks regulus felt the same way and that he's sorry. because he never wanted either of them to feel like they meant less than everything to him. because they never meant less than everything. i like when she tells james that regulus wasn't a good person. and when james says "i know. but he wanted to be, and doesn't that matter?" and lily thinks it probably doesn't but regulus is dead and so she lets him have that. LIKE i just. yeah it's fucking messy. and it will never not be messy. nothing about their relationship will ever be simple. but i love that. like i love that so much. and i've had people tell me they think it was a copout, having james love them both. but i just, i disagree. james being torn apart by how much he loves people. like that's it. that's the story i want to tell. that's the character i want to write. ANYWAY. there's not really a point to this other than like, sometimes i forget that i really like choices a lot. that i wrote it for myself and i wrote the characters and the relationships that i wanted. and that it isn't some horrible ugly terrible thing that should be hidden from innocent eyes and like, stuffed in a cannon and fired into the sun, y'knowwwww?????

[claireborowski]

Alright brain...let's make a horny post!!!! Blah blah blah. Horny goat thoughts.

But no, you're here for the real shit. Bought a 6 pack of twisted tea. Probably gonna be all gone in the next hour. Make that brain nice and mush, all fucked up from how drunk I am due to being a light weight. Too bad I won't be able to tell what's wrong or right..and I just so happen to have plenty of dinner in the fridge ready to go...along with just bottles of boost too.

It becomes pretty hard to stop..when you can't tell what stopping is. So what if your feeder is just pushing for more..that's the right thing to do..at least you'd think it is, but you're too stupid and cloudy from all that booze blocking your thoughts. You should be able to stop, say no more, feel that tightness in your belly. That nausea taking over. But they said keep going and they are just trying to help...right?

Hours past and your brain is finally able to think straight. You can't move, you're bloated, nauseous, sweating and gross from eating like a fucking slob. You feel ashamed. But your feeder comes back with more booze for you. And then, they bring the bottle to your lips...and the cycle continues.

Just...a mood I'm in..ehehe.....heh..

Anyway dms open!

[wally-darling-hyperfixation]

How about a human wally x human reader

Sure anon hun I’ll do my very best to make something *blows kisses to everyone* mwah

Human Wally Darling x GN writer Reader

It was a rainy day. The air chilly as the rain hit the window of the cafe you were in. You sigh watching the rain fall as you grumble having a writers block. Of course on the most blah day, your brain decides it’s also going to go blah. Sighing you sip away at your hot drink (it’s whatever warm drink you like, if you don’t like warm drinks that’s fine too). The bell rings informing everyone that a customer had entered. You looked up and you just see a person in a bright red raincoat. Which stuck out to you, cause people today usually just use umbrellas. The person takes of there hood, and you are a little in aw. Wonderful cinnamon styled hair, handsome face, Carmel colored skin that look so smooth (I think his skin looks like a Carmel color). It would make any person swoon. He heads toward the counter and orders himself a warm apple cider. Oh gosh his voice, monotone but like in a way it causes shivers down your body. The cashier asks for a name and his says, “Wally. Wally Darling.” She puts his name on a cup and he heads to a table pulling out a sketch book smiling. You hide behind your screen looking at him wondering. How is this man in your town not getting swarmed. Like come on people like from your childhood show ,SpongeBob, what squidward said “Oh god. He’s hot!!!” You try to go back to writing but everything is all mush and about feelings and butterflies , Frank would be interested in the butterflies part. That you don’t notice the man get his drink and notice you. He was over your shoulder curious about what you writing. Whispering next to you which startles you , he says. “Whatcha writing neighbor?” Causing you to gasp and slam your computer down. “Nothing!!” You exclaim in sheer embarrassment. He laughs and nods saying “well then see you neighbor” Puts his hood on and heads out. You are confused at why he said see you when you notice a business card by your own cup. It said “Wally Darling Freelance Artist.” This confused you till you see his number circled around and a small written “call me” beside it. Seems like someone noticed you noticing them. Lucky you

~~~~~>~<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you liked it Anon. I loves you alllllllll

[mosspapi]

Hmmmm hello my fellow cripples I have a very specific request for a very specific subsection of yall so hopefully this finds the right people lmao. (Obligatory "I know yall aren't medical professionals and this is just personal experience, please see a doctor, blah blah blah").

Specifically, I'm looking for people with costochondritis who've had Covid. Currently that is me. I'm trying to figure out how to tell the difference between my normal "rib pain that feels like a heart attack" and actual heart complications from getting sick. I'm always pretty paranoid abt my heart, esp since I had strange reactions to the vaccine last year and found out I have an irregular heartbeat, so I don't know if I can trust my instincts about whether or not what I'm feeling is normal, if that makes any sense. So for those of you who've had both, did the Covid make ur normal pain worse? If you also had heart problems bcuz of it, were u able to tell the difference? If so, what WAS the difference?

Apologies if this is a somewhat incoherent post lmao it's late and I'm tired and sick so. My brain is mush. If smth needs to b clarified or reworded please lmk /g

[talkingtea]

And that’s what Candice’s fans on twitter fail to realize, yes she went through all of that down right terrible bullshit while filming in Vancouver I would never, NONE of us would never take that away from her but they fail to realize that her (finally) leaving one toxic situation/place and jumping into the next one, with her doing that you can’t expect to receive news of her being cast in ANYTHING with the mindset she has right now, In that video she looks scared and paranoid asf!!! She looking around making sure nobody has their camera pointed towards her, like that’s sick! Lightly putting it he is a terrible human being but that’s your man why are you hiding in the corner? Why don’t you won’t anybody to know? ———I got a bit off track let me get back on it——-is not good at all we will probably never hear or read that new “Candice has been cast in…” b/c she’s still in that toxic relationship. “It’s her personal life” blah blah blah like have y’all never heard of peoples personal life’s affecting their jobs, their works, their careers….??

Candice has said she wants a good story she want to be immediately hooked to her next project, she’s a quality over quantity girl, she’ll never find that being up under that smelly man. Nowadays a lot of actors and actresses are right here with their team finding their next good quality project the team is not just doing it themselves, I feel like Candice’s brain turns to mush when she’s around that man she doesn’t think straight. If she wants that good QUALITY project SHE has to be out there finding it HERSELF. (with her team)

(I wanna be wrong like 100% wrong like so wrong good news drops tomorrow (wishful thinking) but I don’t think we’ll be getting any good news anytime soon regarding her career)

☕️☕️☕️

[lovemesomesurveys]

survey by supremequeenstyles

Did you get enough rest last night? I never feel like I get enough rest. 

What was the last thing that kept you awake? If there’s a night I have trouble sleeping or get up a few times it’s because my sleeping medication didn’t work as well for whatever that night. Sometimes I need to kick it up a notch. I don’t stay up all night anymore just for the hell of it, I want to go to sleep and be able to sleep. Thankfully, my sleeping med works majority of the time.

If you have pets, do they sleep in your bedroom at night? No, she likes to sleep on her couch in the living room. 

Can you sleep with background noise or does it keep you up? I have to sleep with the TV on for a little background noise and light. 

Do you ever take naps? Do you take long naps or little power naps? My naps tend to me a few hours. Power naps don’t help me, but honestly neither do longer naps. I always wake up feeling just groggy and blah. 

What helps when you have trouble sleeping? My sleeping meds, usually. However, those few times they don’t quite work as well then I’m kinda just screwed until I hopefully doze off eventually. 

Who was the last person to cook you a meal? What did they make? Easter dinner my mom and brother did the ham, mashed potatoes, and pesto pasta. 

Who was the last person you cooked a meal for? What did you make? I don’t cook.

Who is your female celeb crush? (If applicable) I don’t have one.

Who is your male celeb crush? (If applicable) Alexander Skarsgard.

Tell me about an interesting article you’ve read recently. There’s a lot on the news app on my phone. 

Do you have a favorite Marvel character? Scarlet Witch, Doctor Strange, and Iron Man. 

Favorite DC character? Batman and Superman. 

Do you read comic books? Nope.

Who has been your favorite actor to play Batman (live action)? I actually like Ben Affleck’s and Robert Pattinson’s takes on the character. 

Who has been your favorite live action Joker? Joaquin Phoenix.

Has a horror film ever actually scared you? Which one(s)? I mean, I may get creeped out at some parts during the movie and the damn jump scares often get me, but I don’t think I’d say a movie has actually scared me. To me, that implies lingering effects. Like, I’m affected by it long after the movie is over. I haven’t felt that. Honestly, right after the movie I just move on to something else lol.

What was the last horror movie you saw? This movie on Netflix called, I See You. 

What was the first horror movie you remember seeing? What did you think of it? >> I couldn't tell you, I have no idea. The first one that comes to mind is Scream, though. I was terrified of Ghostface as a kid.

Name a few historical figures you find interesting. Why? Nah.

What is your favorite historical film and why? Meh. 

Do you usually enjoy historical films? Not typically. 

Name a sequel film (any franchise) you like better than the first film. Why is that? Of course I’m going completely blank at the moment. As rare as it is to like a sequel better than the first, it does happen sometimes. I’m really struggling mentally and physically and my brain feels like mush right now, so I can’t think. 

Which do you find most interesting: Greek, Roman, or Norse mythology? Why? I’m not into mythology. 

Which tale from whichever mythology you listed above do you find most interesting? --

Do you collect anything? What was the last item you added to that collection? Yeah, several things. One of my biggest collections are my giraffe stuffed animals. I have a shit ton of ‘em.

Do you have any houseplants? No.

How do you like your tea? Not a big tea drinker, but a peppermint or chamomile with a packet or two of sugar is good. 

Who is your favorite Muppet? Oscar the Grouch cause me.

What is your favorite type of bird? I don’t have one. 

Which streaming platform do you use the most, if any? I mean, we have ‘em all at this point but as of lately I’ve been using Hulu, Paramount, and Peacock a lot. 

What is a skill or useful piece of knowledge you wish you’d learned sooner? Things regarding myself and what would end up happening if left unaddressed. I would hope if I knew there was something I could do, that now at hindsight wasn’t so bad, I would choose to do it. 

What is your favorite vampire movie? I was a Twilight fan. 

Your favorite fictional couple? One of the new shows I’m currently watching is School Spirits and I really like Maddie and Simon. Maddie and Wally are kinda cute, too. 

Do you have a favorite historical couple? No.

Have you received any good news recently? No. It’s been a shitty past week. 

Have you learned anything new recently? My brother just told me he’s going to take a trip tomorrow with his boyfriend to a place I’ve always to go. I held it together in front of him and he’s obviously excited, I’m excited for him. I’m really not a selfish bitch, I want him to travel and experience new things and live his life. I love that he has someone special to do so with. He’s a damn good hard worker, extremely responsible, and very intelligent. I’m proud of him, I’ll always brag about how proud I am of him. He’s a genuinely good kid. But I’m just being a sad, bitter bitch because my situation still isn’t good and still hard to envision anything changing anytime soon. I’m just not doing well physically and mentally either. It’s really hard. I know everyone needs to keep living their lives and not miss out on things just cause of me. I just really want to be able to do things and travel again. There’s so many places I want to visit. Sooo, yeah. I’m just a sad bitch. 

[theinyshlobster]

camp zero by michelle min sterling [review]

read from july 27th - august 2nd

review

first and foremost — YO I JUST MET MY 2024 READING GOAL! 60TH BOOK OF 2024 WHO CHEERED!

anyways i need to be real. this book was really confusing for my tiny little pea brain. i will admit i think i might have liked this story a bit more if i had read it at a different time. like im so serious i have no critical thinking right now. changing to a new antidepressant coupled with a cold? yeah i have about zero reading comprehension at the moment so take everything i say critiquing this book with a grain of salt. hell i might come back to this book in 6 months and give it an extra star cuz i did really enjoy this book at times! but idk i don’t think i can give this 4-stars when i was confused for a good chunk of the book 💀

most of my confusion i think comes from what the character’s motivations are and why they’re doing xyz. rose, judith, the barber, the foreman, garreth & merley or whatever the fuck his name was, none of their motivations made logical sense to me. yet again i am not one to talk about logic when i am literally noncoherent in daily conversations & my memory is of a goldfish. like gun to my head i cant figure out what the M guy’s actual goal was, or damien/damian (i’m gonna go with the ‘a’ spelling & if im wrong sue me). i am still confused by that.

i am also confused about the time period this takes place in, as well as the actual setting. yeah i know its in canada and its snowy and shit. but like do the girls live in a mall? where is gareth living? what even was the camp supposed to be?

the ending was lowkey kinda fire, i did not see those reveals coming (but tbh you could’ve given me a mystery novel where the killer literally confessed on the first page & i still would’ve been blindsided at the moment). i really loved the white alice chapters and as things slowly started to make more sense i was having the time of my life. but when those reveals only come with 20% of the book left….. i mean like i said i cant 4-star it.

the characters themselves were….. fine. rose was likeable most of the time. i really couldn’t work out her motivations or her true thoughts by the end. willow was also fine. judith was meh. the other blooms were literally non-characters. garreth was insufferable. the rest of the male characters were fine. i still don’t really get the barber’s motivations by the end regarding him & rose but 🤷 im not mad at it. same applies to M-guy what the fuck was he trying to do at the end. numbskull

the plot was… Ok! the actual story felt like it was going nowhere, but like i said i absolutely loved the white alice chapters. give me an entire book expanding on those chapters & im sold. those chapters kinda remind me of ‘i who have never known men’ and i adored that book so!

the preachy messages about the patriarchy and men sucking got tiring at times. yes i know men suck. they are opportunists and shallow and see women as objects and blah blah blah. sorry you’ve said your message to me, now do something with it. i mean the book kind of did at the end with white alice & rose but… idk more should’ve been done with that. i really liked the grimy vibe of this book. idk what more to say about that it had a real edgy vibe that i liked.

i have a feeling this review is all over the place (when are my reviews not) but anyways. i had a good time. i found this book average. probably shouldn’t have read this whilst my brain is mush. i defo want to come back to this in the future and see if i enjoy it more when i can actually think coherently. anyways off i go to increase my reading goal now that ive met it with *checks calendar* FOUR MONTHS LEFT OF 2024.

god speed

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

I just keep getting fomo or existential crisis bc i havent done anything remotely cool and different like it really wouldnt matter if i wasnt around bc no ones bothered to make it seem like it it would be worth sticking around for. and when we get to 50 like whos really going to be thay interested in who we are? we basically waiting to then pass away anyway.

idfk, I dont want to care for whats on our screens anymore yet I cant not escape it bc screens are everywhere or used for everything even my brain feels like mush these past few years bc all things can be done by a computer. texting feels pointless bc then u have to wait for the other persons response if they even can be bothered to respond. we just got a new tv and honestly i couldnt bring myself to care for it anymore. in a way i do kind of both envy and pity these kpop groups more so in the sense that they have goals and dreams but i cannot partake in tnem due to being wrong age, wrong nationality, social media useage and blah blah blah. the only thing I hope is that my life will be short and over with in a few years cause I am ready to check out of this garbage planet dome whatever tf it is. why must we be doolally about money and luxury when it dont matter once we gone? things have become much less basic and far more complex so i think why should i bother im no going to amount to anything special or noteworthy now am i? lol

You definitely can amount to something. It’s simply working hard to get there. And I’m sure you’ve impacted someone’s life in some way even if you haven’t realized it. Like a lady gave me chips when I was 5 and that changed my life in a way and it was just a simple act she did for me without thinking because my grandmother had helped her out.

[thefoolrat]

I posted 4,254 times in 2022

That's 4,231 more posts than 2021!

29 posts created (1%)

4,225 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mintcrows

@wolftheidioticfan

@sporkkles-irl

@shiocreator

@modmad

I tagged 701 of my posts in 2022

#apex legends - 148 posts

#dhmis - 88 posts

#tpoh - 15 posts

#pokemon - 10 posts

#inscryption - 9 posts

#fake pokemon - 8 posts

#fakemon - 8 posts

#rat - 8 posts

#nsr - 7 posts

#i love it - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#i don't know if they tried to make bad rep for non-binary people with death ranger or if they're genuinely trying to be good rep

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Thinking about writing this story where the main protagonist's house is so goddamn haunted he gets isekaied to a new world once a week and with the power of ghost and ghouls solves problems before going to bed and waking up in his stupid town.

And by "The power of ghost and ghouls" I more or less mean his exorcism hobby, his dead great uncle, and the spirit of a stuntman who may or may not be an arsonist at heart.

7 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#4

Brain mush

So, I've had this sorta headcannon that the OLD_DATA is literally just government secrets

But then my brain thought: "Well why would Luke be so horrified at the information?"

And well you know what'd be funny? To throw that "Scrybes are actually real people" into it and see what horrors I can concoct:

Warning its all brain mush and has dark themes

So, similar to the Russian Sleep Experiment creepypasta and other sorts of government experiments the public didn't know about, they were practicing the possibility of transferring minds or some shit, along with more immoral things.

The scrybes were one of the many people who were experimented on, being left in a cartridge to be studied on in another country. Course, it had to be covered up so they were turned into game characters.

Blah blah blah, Kaycee finds out, buries them, and dies

Honestly thought this would be more coherent but brain no function, add onto this as you will

10 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

#3

Writing again

Follow-up post on the dumb AU idea I had that people liked so hufjsnmasdhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Inscryption Spoilers

Presumably, G0LLY and Lonely Wizard survived (as seen in credits) so would it be possible for them to be found? Probably

Lonely wizard is just seen terrorizing the children at the local park in Luke's area, meanwhile G0LLY is either still a program remaining in P03's body or maybe just on Luke's desktop. Like one of those little computer helpers like Clippi or something.

Also, imagine, if you will, Amanda (that woman with a gun) does appear one day

P03 opens the door, and stares down at Amanda, who's just in shock, then closes the door before she gets a chance to do anything about it.

I think that'd be funny

17 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#2

Imagine shoving P03 into a locker.

What's it gonna do? Fight back?

Yeah right, its definitely a fair fight for me to have four limbs while P03 has only one with two "fingers."

I am going to shove P03 into a box and watch it float there permanently trapped forever.

32 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Another dumb AU idea

Spoilers for Inscryption

Basically, what if instead of Luke opening the door to be greeted with a gun, Luke was instead greeted with P03 the robot bastard.

How'd it managed to get into the real world? Probably the Great Transcendence or something, but I think it'd be funny if Luke is forced to live with P03 who boasts to them about how its succeeded anyways, while also trying to avoid getting killed by Gamefuna.

149 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dycefic]

Have An Evil Day

No prompt this time, just a sequel to ‘Welcome To Evil-Mart’

Working at Evil-Mart is usually… well, it’s retail. It’s physically exhausting, you have to deal with a lot of idiots without being overtly rude, and your feet hurt. Even though the hours and pay are very good, the benefits are great, and our bosses treat us well compared to most retail employees, it’s still not what I’d call a fun job.

But it’s not what I’d call dull, either. Especially not on days like today.

I was promoted to supervisor after the Food Poisoning Incident, so I have a little more authority and a little less obligation to be pleasant and I got issued a weighted cosh because sometimes Evil-Mart customers get… feisty. I’d never had to use it, though, because those who hadn’t seen what I did to Majority Rules, either in person or on one of the cell-phone videos that circulated afterwards, had at least heard about it.  They didn’t give me any trouble.

I was halfway through my shift, and the worst things that’d happened had been running out of croissants and a machine oil spill in Aisle Seven, when our greeter pressed the alarm button, which sent an alert to my handset. As front-end supervisor, that meant me, so I went over. Sam, who is unusual in the henching community for having actually aged out rather than ‘being retired’ jerked his chin in the direction of a tall, swaggering figure. “He just came in,” he whispered.

I did a full double-take before I took it in. Superdyne. Fucking Superdyne.

We’d all heard about his dramatic heel-turn a couple of months ago. The whole world had heard about it. Superdyne, who’d skated closer and closer to the line for years, had decided to cross it in a blaze of bloodshed. He was a villain now, he said. There’d been a whole speech about how ingratitude had driven him to it blah blah blah.

I work at Evil-Mart. I’m from a hench family. If someone becomes a supervillain because they hate Mondays or want to turn us all into dinosaurs or whatever, I don’t judge. I will sell depth-charges and laser guns to anyone who can prove they’re over eighteen without hesitation. But even we get kind of grossed out by the ‘I am forced to turn evil because I haven’t been given enough love’ thing. People who are actually so fucked up by emotional abuse or neglect or some superhero killing their family, we’re fine with them. But they don’t say that’s why they do it, and most of them need a lot of therapy to even realize it. People who actually say that’s why are entitled dickwads.

And now the dickwad had walked into Evil-Mart like he was entitled. Like he thought he was one of us.

“Lockdown protocols,” I told Sam quietly. “On my authorisation.” That takes a minute or two, though, so I went over to talk to Superdyne. “Sir, I have to ask how you even knew where to find this place.”

He smirked at me. “I have my ways,” he said smugly. He’d either bribed or beaten someone, that was my guess. “So this is where the villains shop? We all thought you went to Wal-Mart.” He laughed, like he thought it was clever.

“Yes, so you all say,” I said dryly. I didn’t feel like pretending he was the first person to make the bad joke. “My next question, sir, is what made you think it was a good idea to come in here.”

He spread his hands. “I’m one of you now!” he said happily. “I’m a bad guy! So now I guess I shop where the bad guys shop!” He looked around, frowning a little. “Although I was expecting more weapons and explosives. A… more villainous atmosphere. I didn’t know Evil-Mart had fresh produce.”

“I don’t advise buying herbs here unless you’re a magical practitioner. Some of them have… unusual effects.” A lot of our produce is normal stuff, but some of it not only isn’t legal, it doesn’t exist anywhere else.

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. But the bright lights and the bakery?”

“We have excellent gluten-free breads. In many ways, Superdyne, this is just another store. We have sales, we mark down the breads in the afternoon, we even have a PA system.” I pulled out my handset, and thumbed the button that tied it to the PA. “Attention, shoppers,” I said in my most soothing Customer Service voice, which made him grin. “Evil-Mart wishes to inform you – “ The countdown on my handset reached zero, and I turned to look at the entrance as a huge blast door thudded down. That was the last part of the sequence – staff outside the area were already in lockdown and security were on their way. I smiled, and continued almost without a pause. “- That we are in lockdown at this time, due to the presence of Superdyne in the store. Please remain calm, and be advised that security are on their way to deal with the problem. If you have a personal grudge that you wish to address with Superdyne at this time, he is standing near Register Six with a stupid expression on his face.”

He was staring at me, stunned. “But… but…” he stammered, and damned if he didn’t look puzzled. “But I’m one of you now!”

“No,” I said flatly. “You were always evil, that’s true, but you’ll never be one of us. And for the record, I’m one of the people with a personal grudge. All those henchmen you’ve killed and maimed had families, asshole… and they all shop here.”

He swung at me, then, but I spent years in hench training. Even someone super-strong can be dodged, and once I slammed my cosh into his groin a few times his punches got a lot more aimless. Around then, Tiger Ty came over the register, claws out and snarling, and I figured I should stand out of the way.

About ten minutes later, I turned on the PA again. “Clean-up to Register Six,” I called, in the same special voice. “Category 7, class three. Shoppers, please be advised that lockdown is now lifted but Register Six will be closed until clean-up is completed.”

Hunter, who’d been working Register Six, came out from underneath it. He looked a little green. Well, he was still in his teens, this was probably his first fatal mobbing. “What’s Category 7?” he asked in a shaky voice. “I haven’t heard that before.”

“Biohazard.”

“Oh. Class three?”

“Send three people. He was a juicy one.” I stepped away from a spreading puddle of blood. “Run and get a couple of caution signs we can put around this mess.” I eyed it measuringly. “And one of those fifteen-gallon plastic tubs with a lid, I’ll damage it out.”

He eyed the mess. “Are you sure that’s big enough?”

“Yeah, the average human is only about seventeen gallons by volume, and I’m not going to put all the blood and mush in there, just the big pieces.”

He gulped. “Ah. Yes, ma’am.”

I called after him when he ran off. “One of the black tubs, not a clear one!” Which honestly should only be common sense, but you can’t count on a flustered teenager to have common sense.

We frown on killing customers at Evil-Mart, up to a point… but when a particularly murderous super-hero walks into our store, well, that’s something else. I’d have to fill out a ton of paperwork, though.

I had to chase off one of Doctor Malign’s minons and two members of the Genetic Reign before the clean-up crew arrived, both of whom urgently wanted samples. In the end I scraped a few pieces of liver and unidentified organ into two of the bags we use for possibly-contaminated money just to make them go away. (They’re good customers, and it was just going to go in the trash anyway.)

By the time the clean-up was done, all the big pieces were boxed up, and I’d finished the paperwork, my shift had been over for twenty minutes, and I’d been asked to come up to the boss’s office.

“Listen, I have no issues with how you handled the situation, I want you to know that.” Mr Trent leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingertips together. “It was quick, it was efficient, and… given your personal history with Superdyne, not to mention mine and that of half of our customer base… richly deserved.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. It came out too meek, and I cleared my throat and straightened up. It’s hard not to be intimidated by Mr Trent, when you’re in the same room with him. It’s not his fault, and he does his best, but even under the strictest control his fear-inducing powers tend to unsettle anyone who gets too close. We all know he’s not doing it on purpose and we try not to show our reactions. “Do you have any orders regarding the remains?”

“Doctor Order wants them.” He rubbed his chin. “Get someone from the pharmacy to prepare samples for him, please, including brain tissue. He’s our primary supplier, and we can’t offend him. As for the rest… as you know, I’m retired, and I don’t usually participate in the Endless War.” One of his hands dropped to his left thigh. His prosthetic leg is some of Doctor Order’s best work, but the injury that led to his retirement had been brutal even by our standards. “But this is different. Superdyne came here. To our place of safety. We need to make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

I nodded. “Do you want the remains dumped somewhere public? Some kind of dramatic display?”

“No. Something more direct.” He rubbed his chin again, then tapped the intercom on his desk. “Iris, please send up Miss Fedorova from Marketing and Mr Levy from the warehouse.”

“Yes, sir,” Iris responded, and he clicked off the intercom again.

“The three of you worked together very well, during the food poisoning incident,” he explained. “And I believe they can assist us in a satisfactory conclusion.” He hesitated, then smiled ruefully. “Perhaps you should wait outside until they get here. I can tell I’m unsettling you.”

“Sir, I know you’re not – “

“Not doing it on purpose.” He sighed. “I do appreciate how hard you all work to make me feel… accepted, I really do. But I’m very annoyed right now, which makes control more difficult for me, so I think we’d both be more relaxed if you waited outside while I do my meditation exercises.”

I waited outside. When the three of us went into his office again, the miasma of low-level fear was definitely a bit lighter, and he smiled. “All right. Now, this conversation is going to be very confidential, and I will remind you all of the agreements you signed when you were employed.” We all chorused agreement, and he nodded. “Good. Now, this is very much a secret, even among Evil-Mart staff, but we do have a few online clients who are… ah… on the other side of the fence.”

Ms Fedorova blinked. “What?”

Knuckles sighed. “We ship to a few heroes,” he explained. “The ones who are… less homo than sapiens, if you get my drift.”

I didn’t, and from her expression Ms Fedorova didn’t either. Mr Trent spread his hands, drawing our eyes to his fingers. Which as a rule nobody looks at, because there’s fourteen of them, with four joints in each finger, and we know he’s self-conscious about it. “The less… purely human ones,” he said quietly. “One of the reasons I created Evil-Mart was to give those who can’t pass for human, like me, a place to be… people. To have dignity. So that the obligate carnivores weren’t reduced to living on pet-food or scavenging for scraps, so that those with complex metabolisms could get the supplements they need so that people who are still people, for all their outward differences, could shop in safety. There are a great many more monsters, demigods, abominations of science and other non-standard persons among our set than among the heroes, and I wanted to meet their needs, as well as selling weapons and Lair-away-from-home sets and so on.”

“And there are a few heroes who order from us for that reason,” Knuckles added. “The ones who can’t get medications to suit their metabolism, or need to eat things that you can’t get easily anywhere else.”

I nodded, because that much I understood. We have some very esoteric ‘dietary supplies’ that start with fresh, healthy, well-treated and disease-free prey animals frozen whole (from mouse up to calf and goat kept in stock, larger sizes by pre-order, halal and kosher certified where possible) and end with human blood (rejected blood bank stock mostly, we have an arrangement), and human flesh and organs (sourced from hospitals, morgues and crematoriums, guaranteed no murder, at least not by us). “Well, I suppose that makes sense. I’m surprised we ship to them, though.”

“Oh, they don’t know we know. It’s all assumed names and secret bank accounts.” Knuckles grinned. “But Mr Trent has all our online customers identified before we ship. And for the ones who don’t have any other options, well… we let it slide.”

“I can see why you don’t want that to get out.” Ms Fedorova tapped her chin. “What does this have to do with disposing of the body? I was planning to set up a really ghoulish display in a public place somewhere, I already have some sketches.” Marketing for Evil-Mart is… well, it includes more than designing our sale flyers.

“No. We’re going to deliver them to a hero… one of the ones who owes us… and make it very clear that just because someone decides to admit he’s a villain, that doesn’t make him one of us and it doesn’t entitle him to union services,” Mr Trent said flatly. “I want to make it crystal clear to all of them that a heel turn does not mean their sins are forgiven, or that we will accept them as anything other than a very brief amusement.”

Late that night – we were all on overtime, but it couldn’t be done in daylight – we wheeled a cart down the run-down hallway of a shoddy apartment building. “This is a terrible address for a hero,” Ms Fedorova muttered. “Are we sure he lives here?”

“I deliver here a couple of times a month.” Knuckles was pushing the cart. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Ms Fedorova cleared her throat, coughed once or twice, and suddenly her voice was deeper and her very faint Russian accent was as thick as pea soup. “This is intimidation tactic,” she said, grinning toothily. “Do not act surprised.”

I knocked on the door, but let Knuckles do the talking. “Delivery, Mr West,” he called, using the fake name the guy had been giving.

It worked… the door was unlocked and opened almost immediately. “I scheduled the order for next – “ the mark said, and then we were pushing inside, slamming the door behind us.

“Do not be alarmed, Mr… Dinoid, is it?” Ms Fedorova said, folding her arms. “Evil-Mart is knowing all along your real identity. But you are needing to eat, and we are not turning down regular business, so we make no trouble.”

Knuckles rolled his eyes behind her back at how much she was hamming it up, but I waved a hand. Let her have her fun. So Knuckles started unloading the boxes onto the table while she talked. “First, your Budget Bunny Box. Your favourite, da?” The next box, smaller, plunked down. “Two fresh chickens, halal certified, healthy and having lived good life, gift for good customer.” Knuckles dumped the plastic tub on the floor. “And mortal remains of Superdyne, with note.”

Dinoid was staring at us, but that made him shift into a combat stance, his long claws spread. “The… Superdyne’s dead? And in there?”

“Well. Most of him. The big pieces.” Ms Fedorova shrugged an impressively Russian shrug. I hadn’t even known that was a thing, but when she did it, it was obvious. “You must understand, when a mob tears a man apart, it is hard to find every little piece.”

“I’m pretty sure Doctor Malign and the Genetic Reign took off with doggy bags,” I said, as if I hadn’t handed them over myself. “And Doctor Order probably has some of him too, by now. So looking out for clones would be a good idea, I don’t know if that’s in the note.”

Insofar as that reptilian face could show readable expressions, he looked shocked. “Why on earth would… why? He changed sides? And why did you bring him to me?”

“We know your address, we know you don’t want to turn us in because we’re the only ones who can supply your meals, and our boss wanted us to make this very clear.” I indicated the note. Since Ms Fedorova was hamming up her Sexy Russian Supervillain act, and Knuckles was very obvious Muscle, I figured it was on me to be the Reasonable One. “He might have stopped being a hero, but that didn’t make him one of us. That didn’t make him acceptable to us. Our boss wants it made very clear that your failures shouldn’t expect to be accepted by us… or even spared by us.”

He shifted slowly, the tip of his tail twitching. “I… see. I understand why you would reject Superdyne. He was notorious for killing and maiming people on… your side. But I know other defectors have been accepted. Philomel, for example.”

“Philomel was child of villains. She is young, she is rebellious, she sides with heroes for a while.” Ms Fedorova shrugged. “Is understandable, da? The young do foolish things. She comes home, all is forgiven.”

He nodded slowly. “Tenebrous?”

“That story I don’t know.” Ms Fedorova glanced at me.

I nodded. “Tenebrous was just a kid. He was twelve when Varide recruited him. Nineteen when he broke with the guy. Varide put a kid into combat, left him with massive PTSD, then ditched him when he had a breakdown and went too far. Mx Frantique at least made sure he had a safe place to stay and some therapy.”

“It’s happened a few times.” Knuckles rested his elbows on the cart’s handles, his inhumanly big, strong hands dangling. “But there’s a process. A system. If someone’s sponsored by a villain in good standing, like Frantique sponsoring Tenbrous, they can be accepted. Nobody gets to just choose to join. Especially not a smug, entitled prick like Superdyne.”

Ms Fedorova suddenly leaned forward, scowling. “And why are you called Dinoid? You are not dinosaur. You are clearly monitor lizard. Golden monitor, I think.” She reached out and prodded his arm. “And not healthy, either. Look at colouration! You do not keep environment humid enough. Are having trouble with shedding, da?”

Now we were all staring at her. “You’re a lizard expert now?” Knuckles asked.

She shrugged. “What? Is hobby. Mamma’s little Varanus Acanthurus are pride and joy. Sadly, cannot keep larger monitors in city. Is unkind.”

Dinoid ran a hand over his head slowly. “Not many people realize,” he said slowly. “That’s why I order from you guys. I used to get frozen… food… from a pet supplier, but then I got contacted by someone who told me there was another option.”

“Is good thing. Those pet suppliers, they are rogues. They do not keep animals healthy, can get diseases or mites from those things.” Ms Fedorova sniffed. “I would never buy from them. My babies would get sick.”

He actually chuckled, then, seeming to relax a bit. “You’re not wrong. After… this happened… I got really sick a couple of times before I figured out what to eat, and where to get it. And even the reputable suppliers don’t always have the healthiest stock.” He opened his mouth wide, making a gagging noise. “You have no idea how bad that ‘reptile food’ is. Eating whole animals may be a little disgusting, but it’s nothing to some of that stuff.”

“I believe it,” I said emphatically. “There’s a reason Evil-Mart has such an extensive pet-food line. The horror stories we hear from some of our customers… well, you’d believe it, I bet, but most humans just look confused.”

Knuckles nodded, and spread his hands. “People who can’t pass for regular humans… or even for people, the way most normies see it… are a lot more common on our side of the fence than yours. That’s why we delivered to you. We figured you really needed it.”

“Does he order from the pharmacy?” Ms Fedorova was around behind him now, examining his back. “He is having calcium deficiency, am betting. He needs nutritional supplement.”

“I take a nutritional supplement,” he said defensively.

“The one for normal-sized lizards is not enough for man-sized monitor/human hybrid,” she said firmly. “Check pharmacy section next time. We are having excellent selection of supplements for hybrids, and chart to tell you how much to take for body-mass.”

He looked back and forth between the three of us. “You people are… not what I would have expected from an evil supermarket.”

“We may be… morally challenged,” I said, shrugging, “but we’re not heartless.” I looked around his tiny, shabby apartment. “Unlike some of your lot. I thought you were on a team. Why are you living here?”

He ducked his head. “I couldn’t live at the base,” he said, his tail drooping. “My… I made people uncomfortable. And the stipend isn’t much.”

“Isn’t much? With the merchandising deals they have?” Ms Fedorova sounded shocked, and the accent had dropped back a lot. “I know for a fact that if the accountants ever got hold of their books they’d owe more in back taxes than… well, than Evil-Mart would if our illegal product arm ever got discovered. And we pay our taxes on the legitimate stuff scrupulously.”

Dinoid blinked rapidly, though I couldn’t tell whether he was more surprised by her suddenly dropping her act or the idea that Evil-Mart pays taxes. “You do?”

“Of course. Not under that name, of course, there’s a shell company.” She sniffed. “All villains do. Al Capone, you know. We’re not getting caught that way again.”

Knuckles and I both nodded when he looked at us, and he shook his head. “Huh. Makes sense, I guess.”

“It does.” I looked around again. The place really was crappy. “I know it’s a personal question, Mr… West, but under the circumstances I’d like to know… how much is that stipend?”

He looked down at the floor for a while, then cleared his throat. “Uh. $1100 a month.”

We all stared at him. Ms Fedorova’s mouth fell open. Knuckles looked shocked, and I was horrified. “$1100 a month?!” I asked, my voice coming out louder than I’d intended. “For risking your life on a superhero team?! I have teenaged cashiers working part-time who make more than that!”

He looked almost as startled as we did. “For working a cash register?!”

“Evil-Mart pays pretty good.” Knuckles shrugged. “But that stipend is disgusting.”

“You are being exploited,” Ms Fedorova said, sounding really aghast. “That is terrible. Why, baseline henchman pay is twice that, and there are danger bonuses and…” Her voice dropped suddenly. “You don’t have a union, do you?”

“A union? Of course we don’t have a…” He trailed off. “You mean you do?”

“Of course we do. An extremely well-armed one.” Ms Fedorova folded her arms. “Henchmen And Allied Industries has represented us for generations. The last time a supervillain executed a union henchman for failure, he was boiled in oil… literally. On camera. Oh, of course some of the less reputable villains just pick up small-time trash from the streets, untrained rabble from the gangs and so on, so they can treat them as disposable, but we union members are skilled workers, with rights and protections. I bet you don’t even get overtime.”

“Of course not. Crime happens when it happens, and we have to…” He trailed off. “You guys get overtime?”

“We’re getting double time and a half for this conversation. And an extra day off.”

His eyes widened again. “Really? Wow, that’s… even when I was working a regular job, before this, I didn’t get pay like that.” He looked down at his hands and bared his teeth in what looked like an unhappy expression. “And now I can’t work anything but this kind of job. People don’t like having a scary dinosaur in their restaurant.”

There was a long pause.

“You can cook?” Ms Fedorova asked carefully.

“Yeah. I worked in my parents’ restaurant before… this.” He gestured at himself. “They were killed when we were attacked, and I was… changed.”

We all looked at each other. “After you’ve returned Superdyne’s remains to whoever you consider appropriate,” I said, grabbing a notepad and scribbling down my number, “I’d like you to give me a call. Evil-Mart is always hiring in the bakery and deli, and I mean always. Most bad guys aren’t great cooks. We don’t know why, it just seems to be one of those things.”

“You want me to join the bad guys?”

“I want you to work in a bakery. Villains and henchmen need to eat, and so do their families. Nobody’s going to ask you to rip superheroes in half, just maybe make a sandwich that won’t give anyone food poisoning.”

“That’s a regular concern?”

“Six months ago the three of us ran Evil-Mart’s physical store completely unassisted for most of a day because the only people who weren’t down with food poisoning were the ones who’d had the vegetarian and kosher meals.” I shuddered at the recollection. “Trust me. Someone who can cater staff functions without a major disaster would never have to live in an apartment like this working for us.”

“And we get full benefits, including dental.” Knuckles was shaking his head. “I bet you don’t even get hospital.”

“What hospital would take me? I always figured I’d go to the zoo and talk to the vet if – “

Ms Fedorova actually put her arms around him. “You,” she told him firmly, “are going to resign your terrible exploitative job, and then I will personally sponsor you to the union immediately. I have a spare room. You will like it. Humidity and temperature can be set just how you like, and Mamma Yelena will take you to real doctor expert in health of hybrids.”

“Those exist?” he asked, sounding a bit overwhelmed.

“Yeah, the Genetic Reign has like three of them,” I said sympathetically. “Listen, you can take some time to think it over, but you don’t have to put up with this kind of exploitation just because you don’t look human. Nearly a third of Evil-Mart’s staff can’t pass, and they’re treated just like everyone else.”

Superdyne’s dramatic demise got a lot of news coverage. Apparently it came as a real shock to the ‘good guys’ that there were some monsters even the superest villains wouldn’t embrace.

Dinoid no longer exists. Ismail Jameel works at Evil-Mart, and has expanded our fresh food lines a lot already. He’s a nice guy, and after Ms Fedorova told everyone how disgustingly he’d been exploited by those so-called ‘heroes’, he was welcomed with open arms. Literally, in at least one case – he’s dating someone from the warehouse, I’ve heard, though I don’t know who. He says we should rename the store, because we suck at being evil.

But evil is a really relative term. It can mean the blackest depravity, or a moment of viciousness, or even just ‘people on the other side’. Evil-Mart is called that because everyone, at least everyone on our side, is welcome. Plus, we all think it’s funny that the least-evil megacorporation is called ‘Evil-Mart’. What can we say? Bad guys have a sense of humour too.

Have an evil day!

[emersonfreepress]

Oh god twine

I’d love to have a 90s aesthetic for this book but the interface is so shitty on mobile 😩

(Plus I know it takes a long time to transfer a game from CoG to Twine and I lowkey don’t want to wait for that because I love ur story and I’m impatient 🙈)

well, let me start by being clear: 🤔 the wait will be long regardless. I don't think... I've made clear the scope of this dumb little game of mine 😅 please do not misinterpret the term 'scope' to mean it's a world-saving story or has some major Epic Plot or blah blah—no. I've just poured a lot of work into a lot of lore and a lot of interconnected backstories and character relationships. it's a small town with big secrets after all! i've gotten very carried away 😁😂 but in a good way! in the best of ways.

so i kind of want to do that justice and that's just gonna take a long time. luckily, however! i've been on medication for the first time ever and it's actually been helping my mushy brain keep its mush together!! i literally mumbled to myself in awe last night,

"wow. i can't believe i'm sitting here doing one thing."

and the one thing was listening to music while writing which is technically two things but leave me alone lmao so a little or even a significant amount of more time to code isn't a con to me... just gotta keep mental illness under management 😬

yes, I'm aware of one! i'm open to folks sending me any they've seen, though. mobile compatibility is probably like... idk. i want to say it'd be a dealbreaker but there's got to be a way to make the game perfectly good for mobile browsers. Whether I stick with CS or not probably depends on this more than anything 😑

[daishxu]

Kinks for your birthday post; choking and bondage?

tw: choking, bondage, public NS//FW, sadistic daishou

CHOKING 10/10

what can I say, it's a solid kink. It requires no extra equipment, can be used in public, and oh... to see a pretty little doll's eyes widen and roll back... it's simple too, though younglings don't practice it safely. consent isn't the only important thing, there's safe and sane too.

I just love having my hands wrap around someone's throat. I get high of the trust they out on me, not the mention the whines and whimpers that fall out of their pretty lips.

if I'm fucking them missionary, I can just place my hand on their throat and kiss them. the kiss doesn't even have to be rough, but it makes them so addicted and I revel in it. my other hand can travel up and down their body, playing with their nipples, clit, or cock.

if I'm fucking them from the back, I love kissing their backs while I'm choking them; it's surprisingly romantic.

BONDAGE 7/10

bondage for me means handcuffs, or a silk tie around the wrists, maybe a spreader bar (would that count as bondage?) something to immobilise their limbs while I turn their brain into mush. I don't like the crazy hogtie, suspension, blah blah. it takes the focus away from the sex.

I love using bondage as part of a punishment, especially for brats. just have them tied up with a bullet vibrator in their hole. if I'm feeling sadistic, they're not allowed to cum until I say so. but I just stay in the corner and ignore them, of course.

it's immense torture for them and immense pleasure for me. bondage isn't something I normally reach out for, but something I enjoy if I do...

SEND IN AN ASK WITH UP TO TWO KINKS OR ONE CRACKHEAD SCENARIO TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY WITH US.

[lyricalporcupine]

Unsure if you guys are aware but I’ve been incredibly sick since Sunday. Pretty sure it’s sleep deprivation. I haven’t recovered yet and just feeling overwhelmingly blah cause of it.

There may not be a fic this week cause of it. I know you guys will tell me to take care of myself first but I feel bad when I can’t produce content. But my brain is just mush and I’m basically in low power mode and I only have enough energy to do the bare minimum of functioning day to day.

Like I said, I know you guys will prefer I take care of myself first but it bums me out anyway. Maybe I’ll start to feel better and get something out by Sunday. We’ll see.