#just not quite as popular as me (JESTER TAG.)

[coy-lee]

Cheater, Cheater

@afloofwithmultipleinterests and I had a mIGHTY NEEEED.

And someone in my ask box stirred it up lol. You know who you are >:3

Anyway, there was a need to write some muy fluffy content involving a jester and a spambot. So if you're into that kind of content, stop on by and take a look.

Description: Spamton and Jevil do battle quite often. Spamton feels like Jevil is hiding the secret to freedom in that cell of his. Jevil knows better than that and would rather keep Spamton from finding out the no such secret exists. So, they duke it out, both wanting to win for their own reasons. This time, though, Jevil is a bit worried about how good Spamton has gotten at fighting him...so he takes the battle in a different direction. A very fun direction.

Cheater, Cheater

He was back at the gate. He'd have to beat him eventually, right? Right! He'd have to... He had to. Spamton didn't need the key. Due to his broken nature, he could glitch right through the invisible door and straight into the void Jevil called home. He never knew what to expect when entering the jester's domain. The decor changed quite often, although it was always themed around the circus.

The stairwell above echoed with the sound of Spamton's heels tapping against the hard floor as he walked near the bars. The inside was just as dark as always, making chills go down Spamton's spine. He couldn't chicken out now no matter what. Before Spamton could glitch through the door, the imp materialized himself from the shadows, bells jingling behind him. 

"BOO HOO, BOO HOO, UEE HEE HEE! SO LONELY, SO LONELY I BE.. BUT LO, THREE VISI-" Jevil paused as he recognized Spamton almost instantly. "OH- ITS NOT A RESET, RESET! WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRIZE!" The jester exclaimed in an illusionary tone of jubilation. "OH COME OUT, COME OUT! LET YOURSELF OUTSIDE, SPAMMY! WHAT FUN WE'LL HAVE, HAVE!"

Spamton groaned, already tired of the clown's antics. A small door appeared within the wall of bars before him. Jevil seemingly created it as a gag. Spamton walked through the door, only to step into a clown-themed tea room, but instead of there being a teapot, a gallon of carbonated 'Clown-Juice' sat in the middle of the table. There were various other jester themed decorations around the room, some that made sense... and some that didn't. Jevil proceeded to turn the chairs around, their backs against the table. 

"HERE! I EVEN PUSHED UP YOUR SEAT FOR YA!"

 The imp sat down in one of the chairs, holding up a spades teacup and slurping his drink as loudly as he could. 

"I'M NOT A [[kids 6 and under]]! AND YOU'RE [[insane deal]] IF Y OU THINK I'LL [[one big gulp!]] ANY 0F TH4T [[WHOOPY JUICE!!!]]" Spamton shouted, trying to establish some ounce of dominance in the clown's realm. He had been here many times before. Even though it wasn't his pocket of unreality, Spamton was now quite familiar with the place... or at least used to expecting the unexpected.  "Y0U KNOW DAMN WELL WHY I [[cruising around town]] DOWN HERE AND 1T ISN'T FOR A [[dinner for two]]."

Jevil went oddly quiet, however his smile widened. The table disappeared, and Jevil began to chug from the teacup he had in his gloved hand. After he was done he tossed the glass behind him, and it exploded similarly to how a certain prissy and popular queen's glass would back in Spamton's dark world. 

"ENLIGHTEN ME, ENLIGHTEN ME!" Jevil started, a smirk replacing his usual cold smile. "IS IT TO PLAY A CARD GAME? OH! OR A GAME OF TAG? OR- OH! I KNOW! YOU WANNA TELL JOKES, JOKES!? OH I LOVE JOKES, AND LAUGHING! I BET IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE YOU'VE LAUGHED, RIGHT?" Jevil's word vomit was soon cut off by Spamton who was taken aback by that last query.

"I'LL HAVE YO U KNOW THAT I [[unintelligible laughter]] PLENTY, ESPECIALLY AFTER I [[GAME OVER]] YOU [[juggalo]]!" Spamton countered, gritting his teeth. Admittedly, he was starting to feel the adrenaline rush and the nervousness right behind it. He wouldn't lose again. He WOULDN'T, but doubt was fluttering in his stomach. He could never tell what was going on in Jevil's mind. As an Addison, Spamton was used to predicting people's habits, wants and needs, but Jevil was a severe outlier, and that drove the salesman nuts.

"UEE HEE HEE!" His laugh was hollow, but imitated glee. "SO ITS THE OLD NUMBER'S GAME YOU WANT!" The clown tapped a gloved finger to his chin a moment in genuine thought, before snapping his tail similarly to fingers. He smiled widely at Spamton, his eyes sparkling with an unknown intent. "IF YOU INSIST... I'LL PLAY THAT GAME! BUT I WONT GO EASY ON YOU PINNOCHIO, CHIO~" 

Jevil turned Into his devilsknive, cracking the ground open to where he and Spamton would fall through into the endless void of space. It was the perfect place to battle... an empty canvas of freedom.

"AAYEGUFFFAH! [[$!?!]] WOULD IT [[killed]] YOU TO M4KE IT A SOFTER LANDING? [[JIMINY CHRISTMAS]]" Spamton exclaimed as he slowly got up, rubbing his bottom to relieve the pain from the sudden fall. He quickly shook it off. He had a fight to win. He couldn't let a little surprise like that throw him off. That was Jevil's whole shtick. Surprises. He huffed, getting himself ready for anything.

"BETTER BE QUICK ON YOUR TOES, TOES!" Jevil teased before healing Spamton up with magic for a fairly unfair battle, touching his shoulder to transfer the magic to his HP. "WHO KNOWS, KNOWS... MAYBE YOU'LL OUTSMART ME FOR A CHANGE!" Jevil vaguely encouraged, making spamton feel a little more hopeful... for only a few seconds. "EMPHASIS ON MAYBE." The puppet would scowl at the Imp if he could. Jevil disappeared, reappearing way across from Spamton, dancing and putting on a stage show for the lone audience member. "YOU CAN HAVE THE FIRST MOVE, MOVE!"

"OOOOH NONONO. I'M NOT F4LLING FOR   THAT [[tips and tricks]]. IF I GO FIRST YOU'LL [[uno reverse]] ME. [[Ladies first]], I INSIST," Spamton replied with a devilish grin of his own.

"OKIE DOKIE~ IF YOU INSIST THAT YOU INSIST!" Jevil shrugged, summoning his cliche card-deck bullets, shooting them in various patterns at Spamton, the puppet dodging them effortlessly by jumping, and defying gravity. He had gotten better since the last thousand attempts at trying to beat Jevil... To say the least, the imp was impressed. However, Jevil couldn't let that puppet find out the truth.  That's honestly what made the clown refuse to let Spamton win... It was the puppet's motivation that scared the jester. That was why Jevil needed to win no matter what, or else... Spamton would lose that spark he himself lost so long ago.

The carousel appeared, however it was a bit different. The top and lower border were see-sawing while it spun around, and around. Jevil shot his arms out straight in a T-Pose, summoning various rocking animals with his chaotic magic as they followed along to the beat of the carousel. ... However, despite that fact, Spamton was keeping up, and only got hit once. This was making Jevil kind of nervous..

The nervousness Spamton was feeling before began to wane as he was off to the best start he'd ever had. The carousel was one of the more difficult moves for Spamton to dodge, so this success was a promising sign. So long as Jevil stayed on his script of magical acts, the puppet had a chance.

"IS THAT THE [[Best in the business!]] 

Y OU'VE GOT, [[FOOL]]!? AHEAHEAHEA!" Spamton summoned a phone and spun it in the air like a lasso before flinging it directly at Jevil. The jester shot up into the air to avoid the attack only for the ringing coming from the phone to echo and bounce around the invisible box they were battling in. Jevil danced around most of the sound waves, only being nicked by one.

The carousel started to slow back to its original pace, but kept seesawing. Perhaps Jevil would have to up his game!

 "FAR FROM IT PIKACHU, I'M JUST GETTIN' STARTED, STARTED! METAMORPHOSIS!" The clown transformed into his weapon form, boomeranging around spamton, and lunging at him every 8th of a second. After a few throuple hits, spamton caught onto the pattern, and used mini-spams as deflections to catapult the attention away from himself. Jevil growled a little in frustration as tiny baby Spamtons jumped in his way as he tried to hit Spamton. His smile, however, never left his face.

"YOU FORGET I HAVE [[the boys]] WITH ME AT ALL TIMES? SPEAKING OF WHICH, HOW ABOUT WE PLAY [[DODGE PIPIS!]]" Spamton exclaimed, hurling pipis after pipis at the jester like they were snowballs... Explosive snowballs!

Jevil had just changed back into his normal form when spamton attacked, catching the jester off guard. "OH SEAM IN THE ANGEL'S HEAVEN-" Jevil got hit by three, which knocked his head off his block, springing up and down on his coiled spring neck. If Spamton could use decoys, so could he! Jevil sped up, admittedly tiring him out more than he liked. He went so fast, duplicates of himself were summoned, and it was hard for Spamton to pinpoint a target. ... Jevil had to think of something QUICK, Or else.. that last speck of hope in spamton may die. Wait... he knew! Jevil just needed an opportunity to escape this blue egg barrage... 

"ALTHOUGH A BIT EGGS-TREME, YOUR MOVE IS QUITE A BLAST!"

"..."

Spamton stopped in the middle of a throw, his brain processing what he just heard. Dial-up sounds took over his speech while his glasses blue-screened temporarily. After a moment, he shook his head like a dog, coming back to reality... and he let out the biggest most tortured groan.

"UUUUUUUUHHHHG... THOSE PUNS WERE   SO [[rotten to the core]] I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP! @c@" Spamton grimaced, glaring at the clown grinning back at him, proud as can be.

As expected, Spamton recoiled his attacks to revive from that hard, mental blow of awful punnery. Jevil teleported away from his spot, into the void, plotting a sneak attack Spamton would never expect out of the likes of him... at least not one in the midst of battle. After the doll was done cringing, he was about to dodge jevil's attack... when he noticed the imp was no longer there. Now THAT wasn't fair!

"HEY WISE GUY! WHAT'S THE BIG [[deal!]] HIDING IS [[cheater cheater pumpkin eater!]]" 

Silence. Complete and utter silence... until he felt two gloves vibrate into his sides, startling him. He spun around, only to see nobody there.

"AYEE! H-HEY! F4CE   ME LIKE A [[valued customer]]!" Spamton shouted, his voice cracking as he was surprised by the sudden assault to his sides. He did a decent job of keeping his composure. Now he needed to stay vigilant. That clown could be anywhere.

"FACE YA LIKE A VALUED CUSTOMER, CUSTOMER?" Jevil giggled, appearing behind him again, however this time the gloves were off. The devil poked slowly up, and down the glitch's ribs. "LAST TIME I CHECKED IT WAS OPPOSITE DAY IN THE DARK WORLDS, WORLDS! IM THE SALESMAN, AND YOU'RE THE CUSTOMER! CAN YOU GUESS WHAT I'M SELLIN~?" 

A mischievous smile stretched across the joker's features. Spamton wiggled, his hands shooting down to grab Jevil's fingers, but he had already disappeared again.

"GYA!TYEEHEEHE- [[$!?!]] THE PRESSES! W-WHAT ARE YOU    DOING!?" the puppet demanded, wide eyed and looking in every direction to locate the culprit. "Y OU'RE NOT PLAYING [[fair share]], CLOWN!"

"I'M NOT PLAYIN FAIR, FAIR?" The jester's voice echoed against the void. The joker in question  chuckled from the darkness at this new game that would surely tire this puppet out. "WELL THERE'S NOTHING IN THE RULES AGAINST A LITTLE..." Jevil now appeared in front of him, a devious grin spread across his cheeks,"GIGGLY, GIGGLY, TICKLE, TICKLE NOW AND THEN~ BELIEVE ME, I DOUBLE CHECKED AND IT'S COMPLETELY LEGAL!" Jevil wiggled his eight fingers at Spamton, dull claws catching the dealmaker's attention. He jumped back, tripping a little bit before putting his hand up in defense as Jevil floated closer with that playfully evil stare.

"W-W-WAIT! HOLD 0N! Y-Y-YOU THINK THAT [[silly billy]] MOVE WILL WORK ON [[number1ratedsalesman1997]]? HA! TOO BAD FOR Y OU! I'M NOT [[tickles your fancy]]," Spamton retorted, squaring up, crossing his arms defiantly, and standing his ground. He knew Jevil wouldn't buy what he was selling, but he had to try. Unfortunately, though he was a good actor, the sudden rosiness of his cheeks called his bluff.

"OH... YOU AREN'T?" Jevil pretended to look convinced, before shrugging. "WELL... GUESS I WAS WRONG! I KNOW YOU'RE AN HONEST, HONEST SALESMAN. HMPH...  FIGURES... GUESS ILL HAVE TO JUST USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK, ATTACK!" Jevil shrugged, sounding disappointed... Did Spamton's lie actually work!? YES!!! THAT HAD NEVER WORKED! It hadn't worked on any Addison that had asked him, or even Seam! But somehow it worked on JEVIL!? Spamton thought he would see through that scam! Jevil really was a fool... 

"WHAT A [[sham]]. GUESS IT'LL HAVE TO DO! IM SURE I CAN HANDLE [[Specil move]]."

"YOU SUUUUURE...? IT'S PRETTY HARD TO DODGE!" Jevil smirked, summoning Spamton's own smirk.

"AH! SHOWING YOUR HAND, HUH? WELL Y OUR [[light shower]] OF SCYTHES IS IMPRESSIVE, BUT NOT SPECIL ENOUGH T0 DEFEAT ME," the salesman replied cheekily. His blush receded as his confidence grew once more. He could handle this. Jevil's special attack was always that giant scythe move.

" LET'S GET THIS [[show on the road]]. THEN I'LL SHOW YOU A RE4L ATTACK!" Spamton taunted.

"WE'LL SEE SPAMTON, SPAMTON!" Jevil flew back over in position before metamorphosing into a scythe, and shooting up towards the ceiling. One scythe fell down, then another and another and another... Spamton knew the rhythm of this attack, becoming a pro at dodging the basic attacks Jevil would usually give the player. 

After all the scythes fell, it left the giant undodgeable one to slowly fall. Spamton braced for impact, raising his arms above his head to protect his plastic noggin upon impact... but it never came. He opened a single eye to see two clawed hands hovering above his underarms, but he was too late to correct his fatal mistake. Jevil touched down, scribbling, and drawing shapes with his nails across the cloth of the salesman's jacket, which was surprisingly thinner than spamton had remembered. 

He tried to fight it, but he couldn't hold in what he didn't expect to come out!

"AYEEEEAHEAHEAHEAHEA! TH-THAHAHAT'S NOT HOHOHOW THIS WOR-GYYYAaAaAaA!" Spamton squealed out, clamping his arms down, knees buckling immediately. He was falling backwards into Jevil's hold due to his weak knees. The puppet took a deep breath to spit out the last coherent sentence he would be saying for a while.

"PLEASE-JEVIL-YOU-DON'T-HAVE-T0-DO-THIS-WE'RE-FRIENDS-R1GHT-PAL-I'LL-GIVE-Y0U-BEST-DEALS-4-LIFE-I-SWEAR!!!"

"JEVIL, JEVIL!?" Jevil paused as soon as he heard his name. His ACTUAL name... Spamton had never said his actual name before! "YOU CALLED ME JEVIL!!" Overjoyed, he squeezed Spamton in a rib cracking hug.

"AG-G-G-GYUH-Y-YOUR EARS MUST BE [[out of batteries]]! I-UHG- NEVER SAID [[legal name]]!" Spamton wheezed out, wiggling to free himself from Jevil's crushing grip.

Jevil loosened his hug a bit, however not enough to let Spamton out of his grasp. "HMMM... YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE RIGHT! I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING BECAUSE OF HOW HARD YOU'RE LAUGHING!"

"WH-" Jevil started tickling again, one arm around Spamton's chest, raising his undershirt up, and the other hand trailing around the doll's stomach. 

"COOOOCHIE COOCHIE COO LITTLE SALESMAN~ ARE YOU TICKLISH, TICKLISH HERE HM? I THINK I CAN HEAR YOU GIGGLING, GIGGLING! I'M TOO DEAF TO HEAR REALLY ANYTHING, SO I'M NOT TOO SURE~!" Jevil noticed a little X where Spamton's bellybutton was supposed to be. He stored that information for much later in his playfully evil onslaught.

"STYAHAHAHAHEAHEAHEAHEA![[HOLY TOLEDO]] NYEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHEA!" Spamton cackled, squirming and kicking aimlessly in the clutches of the clown. He tried to grab at the offending hand exploring his sensitive belly.

Jevil pretended to just now notice his tail was plugging his ears. "OHHHH... THERE WAS THE PROBLEM! NOW I CAN HEAR YOU JUUUUST FINE! UHEHEHEHEEE... SUCH A TICKLISH LITTLE TUM-TUM, HM? GEEZ, I DUNNO HOW YOU CAN STAND IT, NO WAY I'D LAST! TIIIICKLE TICKLE TICKLE, TIIIICKLE~ KITCHY KIIITCH~"

"OHOHO MYHYHYHY GOHOHOHOHOD! SHUHUHUHUT YOUR [[PIE HOLE]] YOU- AYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEE!" the puppet cried out. The tickling was already making him lose all control, and that was embarrassing enough, but the teasing? Jevil was going to kill him with all that sickeningly sweet baby talk. You could hardly make out Spamton's red cheeks due to how red the rest of his face was. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide from his adversary, but he wasn't in a position to do that. All he could do was flail and squeal... But the part that truly made the salesman want to hide was the fact that... he didn't hate this... At all. 

BUT HIS WORST ENEMY COULD NEVER KNOW THAT SO-

"THIHIHIHIHIHIS IHIHIHIHIS [[AGAINST THE GENEVA CONVENTION]] YOHOHOHOHOU ANIMAHAHAL!"

"A WAR CRIME? KEHEHE~" Jevil stopped, letting Spamton catch his breath. The puppet relaxed, his giggling mixed in with static as he panted. "SMILING DURING A WARCRIME DOESN'T SEEM VERY ORDERLY... THEN AGAIN I WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT ORDER, ORDER! UEE HEE EHEE~ I THINK YOU ENJOY, ENJOY THIS, DON'T YOU SPAM-MAN?" Jevil questioned, a rare, genuine smile coming out.

"W-W-WHAT!? N-N-NO!!! THAT'S [[Crazy bread]]! I'M A PROFESSIONAL! I'M A [[BIGSHOT]]! BIGSHOTS DON'T-

DON'T -

DON'T -

DON'T -" 

Spamton glitched, his glasses blue screening again. His entire face to the tip of his nose was bright red, steam puffed out from the sides of his head, and a car horn beeped, the sound coming from Spamton's agape mouth.

Jevil chortled a bit, letting his battle buddy let the embarrassment out of his system. "DON'T WHAT? DON'T HAVE FUN, FUN? WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE GIGGLE EVERY NOW AND THEN, HM?" Jevil questioned out of curiosity, and assurance. "ITS OKAY TO BE GOOFY AND FEEL GOOFY EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, AGAIN! DON'T YOU THINK SO?" Jevil poked just a single digit on Spamton's side just above his hip, feather light to just get giggles out of the salesman.

"GyeYEEhehehehe NOHOHOhoho!" Spamton laughed, shaking his head and trying to hide his face with his hands. He was no longer trying to stop Jevil's hands, now focusing on covering his red hot cheeks. "J-JEVIL IHEEHEEHeehee CAHAHAHAN'T!" He jerked away from the prodding finger and was able to rock forward, still breathless with giggles as he weakly attempted to crawl away.

Jevil giggled sinisterly, floating after spamton before grabbing both of his ankles. "GYEHEHE~? NYOHO YOU CAN'T? TELL ME STOP AND MAYBE I'LL BELIEVE YOU~!"  Spamton fell on his padded tum as the devil pulled his legs out straight and sat on the back of his knees, hovering those ungloved claws above spamton's shoed tootsies. "UNTIL THEN, I GUESS ILL HAVE FUN WITH AN ENSY WEENSIE SPOT YOU DECIDED TO LEAVE OPEN~" Jevil playfully reminded, before slipping off both of those flat heeled leather shoes the salesman always wore. With no money to afford socks for those old shoes he found in the trash, Spamton's plush little feet were now completely exposed. 

oh. NO.

"W-W-WAIT! TH-THAHAHAT'S EVIL!" Spamton's eyes widened to the size of saucers when he felt himself get pinned under the jester's weight. "THOSE ARE [[fine Italian leather]] YOU [[little sponge]]!" A wobbly smile stretched across the peddler's face just from the threat alone. He curled up his toes, trying to get ready for what was to come.

"REALLY!? I THOUGHT THESE WERE PLEATHER!" Jevil teased, tracing two nails down  tiny feet, the delicate jointed toes scrunching up in response. Spamton snorted, trying to cover his mouth to hide his giggles and high pitched squeals. He only uncovered it to speak. "IHIT'S UHUP TO PLAHAHAYER INTERPRETAHATION!!" His puppet hands slammed back over his teeth, one trying to keep his bottom jaw closed and the other attempting to block the puppet mouth gap.

And with that.. another finger joined on both feet, now swirling and wiggling. 

"OHO... IT ISNT HEALTHY TO HOLD BACK YOUR LAUGHTER SPAMTON! LET IT AAAALL OUT. KEHEHEE~"

"NNN-NNNGYKHKHKHK... MMM-PFFFFFTAHAHEAHEAHEAHEA!" Spamton finally burst out into hysterics. He was slapping the floor, trying to find relief from the sensations plaguing his tiny feetsies.

"OH MY FOX! SEE? ARENT YOU HAVING FUN? YOU SEEM TO BE ENJOYING YOURSELF! UEEHEHEHEE~" Jevil teased, ever so gently raking his nails over every inch of the doll's feet, including under and between those lil' toesies! "WE SHOULD BATTLE LIKE THIS MORE OFTEN! THIS KIND OF GAME IS SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN THAT OLD NUMBERS GAME!'' Jevil turned around slightly, seeing the jolly old puppet snorting, and thumping his fists on the ground. Snickering, the joker pulled away, turning around to face him, still on seated Spamton's knees. The imp temporarily stood to gently maneuver spamton facing up so the puppet could catch his breath easier. 

"YOUHOU OKAY PINOCCHIO?" Jevil asked, giggling a bit at Spamton's expression.

"@c@ I'M -pant- STILL [[breathing the fresh air!]]" the spambot replied, recovering from that last attack. He rubbed his feet together to shoo away those dastardly phantom tickles left behind. "BUT I WILL NOT CONCEDE TO YOUR [[TOMFOOLERY]]. NEVER..."

"NEVER YOU SAY, SAY?" Spamton should NOT have given the jester such a sweet treat of an opening... 

Jevil picked the puppet up under the arms, bringing the salesman onto his lap with a previous idea brewing to the forefront of his mind.

"PERHAPS THE RIGHT SPOT WOULD CHANGE YOUR MIND~" Jevil smirked, pulling Spamton's shirt back up from before revealing his plush tum, booping a side just barely with the pad of his finger, keeping his claws to himself for the time being.

"EEHEEHEEP! R-RIGHT SPOT? N-NO THERE ARE NOT MORE [[spot remover]] I SWEAR. Y-YOU'RE WASTING YOUR [[time sensitive offer]]..." Spamton rushed out. He giggled nervously and gave Jevil a pleading look... but he still never said the magic word. Instead, the salesman grabbed onto the jester's hands, holding them away from his body.

"NO MORE SPOTS? OH NO, NO, NO! I THINK YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, FORGOTTEN A FEW MISTER~!" Jevil giggled gently pushing Spamton's arms back, the salesman's arms still jelly after the prior attacks. "LIKE THESE TWO HIPS!" Jevil kneaded his thumbs into the joints, just barely skimming the doll's sides with his claws.  Spamton flailed, kicking those little legs of his faster than a roadrunner. 

"HAAEHAHEHEEHEA!! [[Fifty percent off!]] JEHEH-SNORT! [[Ha ha ha!]]AHAAH-" 

"OOOOOORRRR..." Jevil crawled his hands to Spamton's sides and started to tickle that stuffed tum of his! "THIS LITTLE SWEET SPOT RIGHT HERE, HERE!"

"GYAAAHAEHEAHEAHEAHEA! NAHAHAT THE [[tummy wummy]]! AYEEHEEHEEHEE!" The spambot was lightly slapping at Jevil's chest as he squirmed fruitlessly. "YOHOHOURE THE DEHEHEVIL!"

"NOT THE TUMMY WUMMY? AW! BUT YOU SOUND LIKE YOU LOVE, LOVE THIS ON YOUR TUMMY WUMMY!" Jevil cooed, slowing the tickles down to be gentle. "DEVIL IS IN MY NAME! DON'T WEAR IT OUT~ OH! SPEAKING OF BEING EVIL,"  Jevil trailed off, drawing a single swirling finger around the canvas of spamton's belly, slithering around his middle in circles like a snake. "I WANNA SEE WHAT KIND OF GIGGLY TREASURE I CAN GET FROM THAT X!"

"NONONOHOHOHO! THAT [[parking spot]] IS [[out of commission]]! D-DOHOHON'T Y OU DAHAHAHARE!" Spamton squealed in protest. He immediately slapped his hands over his belly button to guard it from the devious clown.

"WELL THATS NOT VERY NICE!" Jevil teased, a challenging grin stretching onto his face... did Spamton really think he would only use his hands to tickle him to snorts? "GUESS WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS THE HARD WAY... SAY, SPAMTON," the imp stretched his tail around and bent the tips of the J to tuck under the dummy's arms.  "I DON'T RECALL, BUT IS THIS A TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY SENSITIVE AREA~? COOOCHIE COOCHIE COOO LITTLE ADDISON~"

"NYAHAEHAEHAEHAEHAE! YOHOHOU [[$!?!]]!" That clever move by Jevil did the trick. Spamton immediately clamped his arms down, bringing his fists up to his chest. "STYAHAHAP TEASING MEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!"

"DO YOU NOT LIKE BEING TEASED TO BITS, SPAMMY? ALSO, IF YOU WANT TO KEEP MY TAIL UNDER YOUR ARMS, BE MY GUEST! OTHERWISE, OTHERWISE YOU CAN RAISE THEM UP AND TRY YOUR LUCK! UEEHEEHEE!'' While explaining this in a playful tone, Jevil went back to swirling around the little belly pudge, getting closer and closer to the spot of buried belly laughs.

"AHEAHAEHAEHAEHAE! YOU'RE GOHOHONNAHAHA [[killed]] MEEEEHEEHEE! SNORT!" the salesman cackled, hardly able to focus enough to make any comebacks. He was losing his mind, but he wasn't ready to surrender to this fiend.

Jevil etched closer... and closer... until finally he swirled right onto the little X, before stopping entirely. Everything stopped in place, the movement under his arms, the swirling, all that was on focus was the finger sitting still on the little stitch. Jevil gave Spamton a cat-like look of mischief, not doing anything but waiting out the inevitable. "YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S STAY LIKE THIS A MOMENT, MOMENT! YOU ENJOYIN' YOURSELF? I KNOW A GENUINE SMILE WHEN I SEE ONE~" In actuality.. Jevil was planning his ultra tickle attack in the back of his mind during this one-sided conversation before finally unleashing the mother of all tickles.

"I-pant- [[dont trust like that]]... YOU... -pant- YOUR TEASING ME AGAIN! I-pant- I ADMIT TO NOTHING!" Spamton said defiantly. Maybe he could tough it out…

"DON'T TRUST ME? WHY SPAMMY! WHAT HAVE I DONE FOR YOU NOT TO TRUST ME?!" the joker questioned, feigning innocence. Spamton knew better than to trust a literal Jester devil after tickling him half to death when they were having a fair and square battle just before! Whatever happened to that anyway!? This wasn't fair at all! Spamton was getting tired. The look the doll gave Jevil after saying that said it all.

"AW... SPAMTON, I'M HURT! HEARTBROKEN, SHOT IN THE CHEST!" Jevil overdramatized, cocking an arm over his forehead, Spamton not seeming to notice both hands were off his belly. The puppet slowly but surely caught his breath as Jevil did his theatrics, all the while giving the purple imp a look of suspicion. After a moment, Jevil smirked, bringing a single arm around Spamton's ribs in a gentle hug to keep him still. "WELL, I THINK YOU DESERVE A PRESENT FOR BEIN SUCH A GOOD SPORT, AND HAVING AN ADORABLE LIL LAUGH!"

"I-I-I-I [[shut your yaps]]! WHAT ARE Y 0U PLANNING JEVIL?" the doll inquired suspiciously, his cheeks flushed from the embarrassing compliment on top.

"I DUNNO, DUNNO! I THINK IM PLANNING ON GIVING YOU A PRESENT FOR BEING A SNORTY, FLUFFY LITTLE GIGGLEBUG!" Jevil replied, his smirk unhindered. He leaned down just a little bit, trying to be inconspicuous.

"I-I'M NOT [[soft and fluffy]]! AND DON'T CALL ME A... [[ERROR 404]]!" Spamton squeaked in response, not wanting to repeat the new nickname. He didn't know what was going through that clown's mind, but he knew it was a grand finale. That look in Jevil's eyes said it all.

The look on Spamton's face read that the jig was up. With that, Jevil suddenly shifted his face downward towards the tummy before him, giggling a little before starting to ticklishly nom on the sensitive belly with those teefers of his! "OMNYomNYOMNOM~! I KNOWM YOUWH LOWVE WHEM SHAWM DIB DISH! OMNYOMMONCHCROMCHMOOMCH!" the devil teased playfully before bringing one claw down to tease a side while nomming away like a cat on a ball of yarn.

"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAEHAEHAEHAE! OHOHO [H E A V E N] IHIHIHI CAHAHAHAN'T! ICANTTAKEIT!" Spammy shrieked, shaking his head and pushing weakly at the little devil's shoulders. Tears of mirth were streaming down his rosy cheeks, and his glasses slid off his face and toppled to the side. He tossed his head back and curled forward over and over again, not knowing what to do. After 30 seconds or so, he broke.

"OHOHOHOKAAAAYEEEEHEEHEEHEE! Y 0U [[W1NNER]]! PLEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEE-SNORT-EEHEEHEASE! MEHEHERCYEEEEEHEEHEEE!"

As soon as the word was given, Jevil retracted his tail, and rose up from Spamton's tummy, letting the puppet recover from that final attack that left him breathless.

"AH... HAEHAE... HEHE... HEH... Ahhhh..." The puppet let the residual giggles bubble out of his throat while he breathed. He closed his eyes, feeling exhaustion take over. Spamton was waiting for Jevil to declare victory and kick him to the curb, back to his dumpster like the clown always did... But... He opened one of his eyes to see Jevil hovering with his legs crisscross, sitting on his tail, a genuine smile taking over his features.

"....SO?" The salesman asked, sitting up slightly to look the joker in the eye. 

"SO WHAT, WHAT?" the jester replied while leaning on two fists curiously.

"AREN'T YOU GOING TO [[dispose of any used needles!]]?"

Jevil's eyes widened in realization, before his face softened into an unnaturally gentle expression. 

"YOU CAN STAY HERE AS LONG AS YOU NEED, NEED! YOU DID JUST LAUGH YOUR STUFFING OUT AND ALL, "  Jevil explained, magically pulling a blanket out from behind his back and tossing it to Spamton, who caught it out of surprise. The salesman really didn't know what to think of all of this... The clown had never been nice to him like this. The other boss-darkner tended to be cold behind that mischievous, playful look in his eyes... He was that one step away from freedom, blocking his only escape to the real world.. HEAVEN. ... but never had Jevil acted like this before... It almost reminded him of a family he lost long ago.

The doll looked down at the blanket in his lap. Then up at the clown.

"I... um... thank you..." Spamton was shocked enough to lose the glitches that stole his speech for just a moment.  A sudden "POOF" from under his butt and a cushiony feeling alerted him to the cat bed he was now sitting in. He tried to take offense to that, but he couldn't. Instead he took the opportunity to get some sleep in a real bed...first time in a long time. He curled up, snuggled in the blanket. The salesman drifted off to sleep quickly, having not been this comfortable in so long.

Jevil hummed in content. He needed this. They both did. They were both being tortured endlessly by the game they lived in ... and them fighting all the time was tiring. In this moment they both realized how stupid it was, the endless fighting. They both understood what it was like to be thrown away, not only by society, but by the game itself. If anything they should be allies... No... friends.

Of all the things to make them see that... It was this particular fight. Jevil giggled at the prospect that something so silly may have just permanently changed how the two misfits saw each other.

And that was a wonderful thing.

[tiamat-zx]

2022 AO3 Wrapped

Tagged by @blorbologist (You asked for it, I might as well do it!)

And keep in mind, I might not be able to link to any of the stories, but I WILL post their titles so you can look them up.

AND BE WARNED. A lot of these fics contain spoilers.

Works published: 73 (And I intend to leave it at that, save some ideas for next year which is literally right around the corner.)

Word Count: 134,670. Not bad.

Bookmarks: 190. Wow.

Shortest Fic: “Necessity, the Mother of Invention” at a paltry 100 words, published 2022-03-10. It was just a little post-C2 Drabble where Beau gets to ask the Brenattos for a little bit of magic training. Just to expand her kit. Nothing big, just something nice and fluffy.

Longest Fic: “Traveler’s Eve”, published for the final day of Whumptober 2022 at a decent 6,600 words. Basically what it says on the tin: a revisiting of the events of the first half of C2’s Traveler Con episode, from Beau’s point of view. Namely, it’s her coming to a resolution regarding Jester and Yasha, along with her moments with Caleb and Fjord in said episode. Also, I had art commissioned for it that was done by “undeadharlequin” on IG, and now it’s my Tumblr banner. Thanks again, Jas!

Sadly it’s quite lacking in kudos… and more importantly in comments. Please go read it.

Gift Fics for Me: 7 this year. 6 by @warriorbard2012…

“Moonlight Possibilities”

“Say Goodbye to the Yesterdays that Owned Us”

“Nicodranas Family Vacation”

“The Surprise Party”

“Lone Wolf No More”

“The Second Time Around”

…and one by @jtr-99.

“Remnant”

Thanks again Mari and Jill! Back to the list!

Gift Fics for Others: Quite a few. Twenty-three in total.

“‘Cause it’ll never go away (Until the fear that you are runnin’ from is finally embraced, face to face)” for @january3693

“Ice Breaker to Remake Her” for @warriorbard2012

“What Could Have Been” for @idragonspyro

“Halfling Love” for @flyingraven

“Phantom Pain” for @ss117

“One Lucky Kitty” for @grayintogreen (Because she loves Cree so much)

“Taurs R Us” for @sylvanfreckles

“Nowhere To Go But Down” for @cole-lynid

“The Big Day(s)” for @jtr-99 @cole-lynid @warriorbard2012 @grayintogreen (My finale fic for Beauyasha Week 2022, and I just had to not only dedicate it to them, but also to make it a wedding fic!)

“A Memento” for @warriorbard2012 and @jtr-99 (Post-Iron Shepherds, going along with the now popular headcanon that Beau got her eye scar from Lorenzo and thus doesn’t want it healed and gone. So that she never forgets.)

“Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow (But Also Sweet Payback)” for @grayintogreen (Because Lucien. ‘Nuff said.)

“Cobalt Soul Searching” for @jtr-99 (Quite possibly one of the darkest fics I’ve written as it IS about that lingering trauma after Cognouza. Because there’s no way that Beau and Caleb didn’t get out of that mess without some PTSD. Also, it’s to address the fact that they never quite told the Soul about the eyes. This is about Beau finding the courage to open up about it.)

“Marigold” for @grayintogreen (Because she loves Jayne, and I had to do a fic with her in it.)

“Scientific Method” for humandisaster1313 and @grayintogreen (Okay… THIS one is VERY DARK. Very much hurt no comfort. And Whumptober 2022 gave me an outlet and a reason to finally write it. But THANKFULLY it’s balanced out by…)

“Treading Lightly” for humandisaster1313 (…a story about Veth being a badass on a boat.)

“‘I was flying past the stars on silver wings. It was wonderful.’” This one was for @ghostofwhitestone as another Whumptober fic, and sure enough, while the ending may be divergent NOW, it DOES tackle what poor Laudna was going through in limbo before Bells Hells sundered her free. And yes, the title is a reference to the novel “Matilda”. For obvious reasons.

“Reflection” for @jtr-99 @warriorbard2012 and @grayintogreen (I had never really done an “origin story for Dairon before. This was my opportunity to do so. Especially as a ‘first meeting’ between her and Yudala Fon, and how they would end up meeting Beau in Zadash on that fateful Sydenstar day in Trostenwald.)

“Chill Touch” for @svartalfhild (Yay, a fic about Ashton and Laudna and how she would be the sole exception to Ashton always feeling pain just from touch. Happens post-C3E38.)

“Family Resemblance” for humandisaster1313 (My final gift fic tied to Whumptober 2022. One in which mother and daughter team up to take down some ne’er-do-wells.)

“Forget-me-not” for @grayintogreen (Okay, this one’s a rather somber one because I wrote this on November 5th, to mark the 11th anniversary of the day my mother lost her life. As such, it’s a story of grief and mourning. And in this case, it’s Beau at Molly’s (empty) grave.)

“Mother Knows Best” for @warriorbard2012 (I will never stop loving “Worth Fighting For” from C2, and as such, I just had to write a story about the moment between Veth and Beau from the former’s POV, in which she decides to forego her usual trolling and do what mothers do: be supportive.)

“Like You’ve Seen A Ghost” for @blorbologist (Because Percy and Vex and all their trauma. Also Laudna’s.)

“Fresh Start” for @cole-lynid and @khalliys (This fic is twofold: it’s for Lynid’s birthday, and the ending came about due to Khal’s art of Beau being super casual and Yasha having a, well, justified reaction. It is also my most recent fic, and thus my last fic of 2022.)

PHEW! That’s all of them!

Collabs: Sadly no real collabs this year. I flew solo.

Events: Febuwhump 2022, Beauyasha Week 2022, and Whumptober 2022.

Most popular by kudos AND hits: Funnily enough, I have two.

The aforementioned “Phantom Pain” with 765 hits and 87 kudos.

“The Lion’s Snare” with 500 hits and 112 kudos.

Actually, I have a third, one that’s more consistent with a better kudos/hit balance: “The Dream or the Dreamer” with 595 hits and 103 kudos.

Most popular by comments: “Eyes on the Prize” with only 10 comments. (Of course, that could change before the end of the year.)

It’s honestly rather depressing because I feel like I’ve been getting less and less comments. It’s more kudos than anything else.

But I like reading feedback. It makes me smile knowing how much you liked it.

Hopefully I’ll see more feedback down the road.

Fic that made me smile: The aforementioned “The Second Time Around”. I’m looking forward to seeing how Mari ends that story. Also, there are so many other stories that made me smile this year, too many for me to list lol

Fic that made me cry: Aside from some of my own pieces… CURRENTLY I’m being emotionally compromised by @waltwhitmansbeard and her Vaxleth Medieval AU story “My Fair Lady”.

Also, what absolutely broke me early on in 2022 was Jill’s “Shadows of Rancor”. Because that one goes into some dark places… and there is death. They do get better, but… ouch. It hurt in the best way, and I eagerly await the next installment whenever that may be.

Okay… I think that does it! As for whom I’m tagging…

Well, aside from the ones I’ve already tagged, there’s also @viciousmollymaukery @professor-rye @pryingblackbird .

See you all in 2023!

[comfortcbleinchaos]

Jester's mouth unhinges to answer, several seconds before she realises that she does not in fact know the answer to the posed question. 

Biting softly down upon the knuckle of her finger, she purses her lips in self-directed annoyance. Annoyance she will forget it within a few moments, of course; these trivialities rarely trouble her for long before the next hair-brained thought of introducing X to Insert Person Here who should, under no circumstances, know about X takes her away. 

“Probably should’ve listened when everyone was telling me that. But as for the second part —” she pops the following ‘p,’ — “yup.”

                                  ( @everybodyelsedying​ | from meme )

[genuflectx]

Hi! Sorry to bother you if it’s annoying. I just read Axioms End and I’ve always had a love for monster or alien romance but the best I’ve found before was alien barbarians. Do you have any recommendations? I noticed you reviewed something with a cool spider monster so I figured you had some less humanoid ones (don’t mind smut but happy to have it if you have the recs!)

Not annoying, I love getting asks! :} I'm actually working on a recommendation/review list of terato novels/novellas but I don't quite have enough on the list to post it yet, so I'm afraid I may not have many recs for monster and alien lovin' novels juuust yet :{ Axiom's End is my fav tho!! It has a sequel if you haven't read it yet; tho the sequel is 10x sadder than the 1st, and book 3 is set to release next yr

Otherwise the only other books I have on my list (that I liked) are the Shape of Water tie-in novel (hit or miss for readers imo), and then The Mabon Feast (Wheel of the Year #1) which is the spider one you mentioned. But unfortunately Mabon Feast is a novella and not a full novel so you can read it in one short sitting. That author, C.M. Nascosta, has other smutty books with monsters but I haven't read them, and they may be just as short. Idk if she has anything that's just romance sans the smut, either. But I liked her writing style and characterizations, so you could check her out to see if she has anything else you might like!

Those are just published works though, there's lots of great non-human romance short stories published for free online, like here on Tumblr! A lot of these tend to be NSFW and are novella-length or shorter, but even the authors known for NSFW content tend to have a fluffy SFW piece here and there.

Snowkissedmonsters has some fun, well-written stuff you can read on her Tumblr! 

I know momosmonsters is also popular, though it’s been a long time since I read any of hers. 

I have original works I share here, too. 

Then there's actually a terato tag on AO3 where some people post their original works (me included)- but you might find some fandom fics mixed in.

There are also fandoms that lead towards terato shipping, which depending on the fandom may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I think are at least worth noting just in case. Fandoms can be fun places to find non-human romance, both fluff and smut, outside of traditionally published works and original fiction. The only issue is, if you’re not really into the fandom/characters, it bars you from enjoying them.

Half Life VR but the AI is Self Aware, for any ships related to Benry and Tommy, because those two are depicted as non-human (often monstrous, alien, or multi-dimensional). Benry is usually shipped with Gordan ("Frenry")

Subnautica, particularly Subnautica Below Zero (Subnautica's sequel), has an alien called AL-AN that the character talks to the whole game and whose body they build near the end. Fanfics shipping AL-AN and the main character Robin are huge terato vibes. (SPOILERS) He's basically an alien centaur and there's a line near the end that can be interrupted as romantic towards the character.

A recent personal fav of mine is from Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach, for the character of the Daycare Attendant (Sun and Moon). They're two robot jesters sharing a body, and are very popular with reader-insert writers. I’d recommend Bamsara’s fanfics for them, they’re QPP and SFW. QPP relationships with non-human characters aren’t explored a whole lot in monster communities, so Bam’s work is really fun to read in that regard, including their other fandom fics.

Someone will kill me for this because oof cringe but Undertale. Sans/reader fanfics are popular, and some are pretty entertaining, even if you’re not really that into Sans. Skeletons aren’t exactly a monster hugely popular in terato circles, so skeleton content is lacking, meaning if you’re looking for it the Undertale fandom fanfics deliver. There’s also... weirdly a lot of A/B/O fanfics for him?

Portal fandom offers two flavors of robot-romance; Chell/GLaDOS and Chell/Wheatley. Both are pretty different. Portal fandom has the benefit of having the fic “Blue Sky,” a Chell/Wheatley fanfic that reads like a professional novel and used to be ultra-popular in the 2010s.

Venom has some interesting fanfics. I could never seem to find one that really captured and enthralled me, though... but if anyone is ever looking for er, Venom smut, it’s there...

I hope to read more published books for my list soon, that way I can review more and recommend them!! Until then Axiom’s End is still top-tier imo for it’s weird/fun aliens and deeper storyline, there are lots of original writers you can thumb through on Tumblr & AO3, and fandoms can also help tide you over when you can’t find original fiction to get into. 

In lieu of novel suggestions, I have a list of rated films scored for their terato aspect.

Sorry if not super helpful, but thanks for the ask!

[daggersandarrows]

People using characters who share their sexuality to represent and explore the way in which they experience their sexuality is probably one of the most common headcanon/fanwork activities in the book, and yet anytime an aspec person does it for an aspec character of any variety, people seem incapable of accepting that. I know there are a lot of factors that go into this, like the limited understanding of aspec identities, and other aspec people becoming very defensive because they don’t want to experience even more erasure, but honest to god. Can ya give us a fucking break and let us explore our identities through fictional characters the way everyone else does. It’s honestly exhausting. Cad is quite literally the only canon aroace character I can think of, stop policing how actual aroace people view one of the only characters who share their sexuality. Please. You don’t have to like it, you don’t even have to interact at all, you can easily curate your own experience, just stop fucking policing our actual experiences and how we use fiction to explore those.

(also I accidentally unfollowed you trying to send this ask becasue tumblr settings be a bitch)

thank you omg ;_; yes exactly

honestly when caduceus came out, fandom was nothing but hell for me and a lot of my friends for quite a while. the thing is, most of us had already decided that the bit in talks where taliesin said that caduceus understands jester's porn but "just isn't into it" was confirmation enough.

i'd been writing aspec!cad in relationships for months by the time he came out...and all of a sudden, it wasn't allowed anymore. all of a sudden i was disrespecting ace people. i knew several people who were literally harassed off of ao3 by their supposed "friends" for daring to write shippy cad fic.

don't get me wrong, i saw my fair share of "well but ace people can fuck so i still get to ship him right" takes that drove me up the goddamn wall. i get it. it's frustrating. and a lot of aroaces, repulsed or not, never want to be in a relationship and like seeing representation of that--and that's fine. i just wish the rest of us were allowed to exist too.

like the worst thing about this is that the vast majority of harassment and hate i've gotten is from other aspecs who tell me i'm not "really" ace for my desires, past relationships, etc. it drives me crazy. i've never felt more unwelcome in a community of my peers.

i think people might be surprised, given my very shippy nature, at the extent of my ace headcanons. i think percy is asexual. i happily clung on to the popular interpretation of aromantic grog. i think jester is an aromantic pansexual. i think fjord is biromantic asexual. i think beau's demiromantic and yasha is somewhere on the asexual spectrum, and caleb's always been vaguely arospec to me. this is how i write them in every one of my fics. i don't announce it or tag it as such, but it's how i feel about them--but if any of these were canon, honestly, i don't think the way i write them would be accepted at all.

(also i saw you refollow and got really confused lol...dw i've definitely done that in trying to send an ask before too)

[koolaid-man-cant-stop-me]

For those who wanted to know about the clown husbandry presentation (i am so sorry please keep in mind i made this at 10:44 and im tired)

Hello there cowards and fools, to my Tumblr deep dive on Clown Husbandry. Now, most of you may be wondering, "what the heck is that"? Well, mortal fool, let me enlighten you. Clown Husbandry is the idea that clowns aren't human, but an entirely different species that's able to be trained and kept as a pet. Clowns are either Feral or Domestic, Feral clowns are clowns that cant is kept as pets, think of pennywise and Ronald Mcdonald. Domestic clowns are clowns you can train and keep as pets like Bozo the clown. There are many different species of clowns, such as General clowns, Creepy clowns, Court clowns, Jesters, and Mimes (just to name a few) and all require different needs and care styles. Speaking of clown care, how do you properly care for your clown? Well, you should always do proper research on your specific clown breed but a general rule of thumb is the clown tent's diameter should be 5 times their height if you have multiple clowns always scale upwards and leave small private spaces for each clown. Now that you know all this godless information how do you even get a clown? Well, there are 2 options, breeders or shelters. If you are getting it from a breeder or shelter (i can't stress this enough) please be sure the establishment you're getting it from treats their clowns kindly. Don't support clown shelters or breeders that treat their clowns harshly. Now, I just gave you a bunch of information about absolutely nothing, you must be confused. Don't worry I was too, now to answer your real question? Where did this come from? Well, Clown husbandry is a giant roleplay tag where you mostly draw clowns and pretend to care for them. The clown husbandry tag came to be when a popular photo emerged from the internet, the clown meat image. This one image prompted a satire protest saying "don't eat clown meat it's unethical" and "clowns don't deserve this". One thing led to another and now there is this lawless tag all about how to properly treat clowns, with multiple clown breeds and- well you get it. Quite imaginative isn't it.

[stomp-that-ho-regard]

I typically don’t do asks (I've only ever gotten a few), but a recent one got my gears turning and I wanted to reply.

(This is a secondary blog, so I can’t answer asks in the usual way.)

Your post about the retcon is so fucking good, I wish every critter saw it and actually thought about how shitty it was done, but then their belief in the cast and show would probably start cracking.

Thank you for liking the retcon post. I’ve seen various people in the tags thank me for making that post and have said that it’s helped them ‘feel less insane’. None of us are insane. We are not delusional. We didn’t experience a mass hallucination. These things happened, and they’ve been thoroughly documented. Hundreds of hours of material over the course of three years.

The people who should read that post won’t ever see it because I have all those assholes blocked lol. If they did manage to find it somehow, I know they would just mock it, as they’re wont to do with any of our criticisms. They’re so far up CR’s ass, they’ve convinced themselves that a retcon didn’t happen. Even shoving the literal definition of the word in their faces wouldn’t wake them up.

It's just so fucking weird to see how the group is acting now, and I'm pretty sure we're never gonna get a Laura&Marisha episode picture and a TM episode with those 2 for the rest of the campaign. It feels like when a non-canon wlw ship gets big on a TV show and suddenly the actresses can't be seen or interact with each other anymore🙄 it's the same fucking pattern and like you, I thought I wouldn't have to deal with this on a d&d show.

I specifically want to address the “It feels like when a non-canon wlw ship gets big on a TV show and suddenly the actresses can't be seen or interact with each other anymore” because I’ve thought about that pattern too. (Not so much with Marisha/Laura ‘cause them being on TM together is already a rare combo. If they don’t appear much or at all going forward, I don’t think it’s because of this, though it really wouldn’t surprise me. But, I have been thinking about that specific pattern in regard to their characters.)

I can make a comparison between this situation and what happened with the show A/gent Carter and the way the ship Cart/inelli was handled.

I know that might sound weird, but stay with me here lol...

I want to make it clear that I’m not comparing the relationships at all. Cart/inelli did not have nearly the same amount of build-up and depth as Beaujester, (or quite frankly, their level of possibility.) What I am comparing is the creators over-the-top reactions to these characters being shipped so hard and the extreme measures they went to in order to ‘remedy’ that.

The ship included P/eggy Carter and A/ngie Martinelli. The show was set in New York. Angie was a waitress (who wanted to be an actress/be on Broadway) at the diner that Peggy frequented. They ended up talking quite a bit and became fairly close. That ended up kind of becoming the core relationship in the entire first season, and LOTS of people started shipping it.

At the time, no one was calling us crazy or delusional. At most it was, “This is ABC! They’re not gonna pair her with a woman!” and of course the obligatory “But Peggy’s not gay!”. But no one was calling us names or being generally cruel. And anyone who tried it was ignored because everyone else drowned them out. The ship became extremely popular on Tumblr and Twitter. Both actresses were very positive and supportive. They regularly liked/retweeted romantic Cart/inelli fanart on Twitter. Even one of the female writers on the show got behind it too. It was asked about frequently at conventions and no one booed or rolled their eyes. The questions were never dismissed or made into a joke. (Honestly, this was one of the better overall fandom experiences I’ve had on here.)

And all of us were super excited for S2. Not just because of all the support, but because they had ended S1 with Peggy and Angie moving in together. Peggy had purchased, either it was a really fancy apartment or house (my memory is fuzzy on this), and she literally asked Angie to stay with her. Needless to say, that fueled the flames even more.

But despite the actresses and at least one writer being on board, between S1 and S2, something shifted.

Clearly, the showrunner and/or the execs, took a look at all of this and deemed it a ‘problem’. When S2 finally came around, suddenly everything was different. Instead of both of them living together in New York, instead of it being an organic (I’m beginning to hate that word) continuation from where they left off, Peggy decided to move to Los Angeles to do work for some agency out there or something, and Angie stayed in New York. It’s never explained why. It’s never explained why a woman who so badly wanted to be an actress would NOT want to go to LA, where Hollywood is. LA was never mentioned in S1. There were no hints that Peggy might want to fly out to the West Coast at some point. She seemed perfectly happy in NY, basically setting up house with Angie.

And they didn’t even ease into the change. They just got rid of the character. The actress was bummed about it and Cart/inelli fans tried to put pressure on the showrunner/writers to bring Angie back, which the actress completely supported, but even that fell on deaf ears. So, Angie was simply no longer an entity on that show. Conveniently removed. All the excitement we had was crushed. And of course, the second that Peggy got out to LA, she suddenly had a very obvious male love interest. What a surprise.

The showrunner/writers were not subtle about what they thought about our ship and us. They made the most extreme, nonsensical writing decision in order to permanently separate these two characters. Because, hey, that’s the only way to get the shippers to STOP, right?

This was what I was reminded of when I started seeing the turn that post-hiatus CR was taking. It ended up being a weird combination of kneejerk erasure (BJ) and heavy-handed overcompensation (BY).

But of course, CR is not a TV show, it’s D&D. And they can’t force one of their PCs to just disappear, so what do they have to resort to? Not interacting.

We all know how severely neutered Beau and Jester’s general relationship has become. It’s clear to me that both Marisha and Laura felt they had to do that. They had to suddenly have their characters stay away from each other as much as possible so they could prioritize Fjord and Yasha, and speed-run into romances with them. They started acting as if either of them giving the other one ounce of affectionate attention (like they had been doing so often and so naturally before), would be breaking some sort of hidden ‘relationship code’. Almost like if they ever hugged again, the studio would go down in flames.

The very obvious fact that they went to these lengths, to me, proves two things...

One, it proves the retcon even more, because you can tell that the way they behaved with each other DID in fact change. The frequency of interactions and the way those interactions would play out. Whenever they interact now, it seems like they’re trying to keep it as short, thin, and almost comedic (to the point of goofiness, and not in a good way) as possible. Their engagement seems half-assed and dull. The sounds of their voices, their facial expressions... completely sanitized. Even all the physicality they had is gone; the touches, the hugs, the cuddling. Every single aspect is different and they absolutely did that intentionally. This had to happen because they needed to dupe the viewers into believing that despite overall interest waning, their threadbare connections to Fjord and Yasha are more important, and were always more important then their connection to each other, that we all watched them steadily build. (And watched them pick up steam from about ep70 onwards.)

And two, that whole intentional decision to cut themselves off from each other, proves to me that their interactions pre-hiatus were indeed tinged with ‘something extra’, that was more than just friendship. They both recognized it and that’s why they pulled back so hard. That’s why soft touches and hugs and cuddling are no longer ‘allowed’. That’s why quiet, heartfelt conversations are no longer ‘allowed’. Because if there was absolutely nothing there, if they didn’t see/feel any romantic chemistry simmering underneath, and it was all just platonic BFF stuff, why would they suppress their behavior so drastically?

I think that all of this really does cement what I said in my retcon post: That there are disingenuous patterns being used here that I’ve seen far too often in media. In A/gent Carter, it was a character separation, in CR it was a character dynamic separation. Both done on purpose, to make the shippers shut up, and to push a different plot.

One is scripted, the other is unscripted, but the situations feel disgustingly similar, don’t they?

[youarejesting]

BTS365 Prompts.Week19

[Masterlist] [Prompt Masterlist]

Please tag me in your work if you use my prompts. I want to see your work. Ever your Jester.

Tell me your birthday and I will tag you on your special day!

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       May 7th - 13th

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Kim Seokjin: Lost sock

Running around the hotel room Seokjin was panicking. He had a short time to get ready and then he had to leave this wasn’t time to lose his right sock. 

“Jin there is no time we got to go.”

“Jimin I can’t wear one sock!”

“It will be fine hurry up and get in the car before your bride gets there before you do”

Seokjin waited at the end of the aisle nervous but everything disappeared when he saw you walking in. You cheekily lifted a small part of the dress to reveal your pretty heels and on sock clad foot and he felt his heart flutter. 

Min Yoongi: Room

There was an old music room on campus. Where nobody goes, it is said to be haunted, people who go there quickly leave reporting strange noises and some even claim to see a pale ghostly figure. You are running away from the campus’ official creep named Allan. Midst your hasty escape you hadn’t realised that you were heading towards an unused area within the music building. Allan was closing in with the speed of a tornado.

Ducking through the nearest door you found yourself within an old music room. It was cold, dark and there was a small layer of dust covering everything. Which didn’t strike you as odd as the room was full of unused or broken equipment. 

Only a few steps into the room you found yourself feeling uneasy like you were being watched. But you couldn’t turn back now not whilst Allan was on the loose. Taking a seat in front of the small upright piano you found it odd that there was no dust on the wooden cover. 

Lifting the cover, the ebony and ivory keys greeting you, each looking a little worn. 

With a little hesitation for how the piano would sound, you began playing a small tune a familiar one you often heard in the music building but no one ever knew who the artist was. You had transcribed it at home hours of replicating the sound as best as you could.  But the song was never finished so you took it upon yourself to create an ending you so fit. The song itself was melancholy with a hint of desperate longing. So the ending you had written rounded the conveyed emotion into something a little gentle and loving. 

You played happily and pale hands came down over yours and you retracted yours back and tried to turn to see who had scared you so badly but the music these hands created was mesmerizing you could do no more than watch the long fingers dance over the keys. 

Jung Hoseok: Twilight zone  @taesguccibag

Hoseok hates all things scary, he hated fast rides, ghosts, scary movies, loud noises and angry people. So when he woke in a dark forest in the rain he was scared, he heard strange noises and there you were standing in front of him on this strange animal he had never seen. 

You spoke, your voice soft but odd somehow like he wasn’t sure if he really heard you. He looked over you as he heard you speak again and noticed your mouth wasn’t moving he looked around before his eyes landed on you. You smiled at him, your voice filling his head just as gently as the first time. 

“You are not from around here?”

“Where is here?”

“Exactly where you are from. But here and different”

“I can see that”

“Follow me we should head somewhere safe before anyone sees your from the other dimension”

Kim Namjoon: Limerick

There was a legend of a man with a sharp mind and quick wit, he was never married but he was wealthy, it seems that those who met him only spoke negatively about him. You were curious, surely he wasn’t as bad as they said, you were to be wed to an older gentleman you had never met. Already classified as a disgrace because you were so old, but you had heard this gentleman was your age and handsome. 

You went to see him hoping this could be your chance at salvation, your chance to at least choose who you were married too. 

Dressed in your best hanbok, you walked to the edge of town and arrived at the small temple you waited in line you were the last one who would be seen. 

The sun was setting when you finally met him, he was strange looking the more you started the more interested you became with his features each beautiful yet so odd, but you weren’t here for looks, you were here for brains. 

“How can I help you?”

“I would like to persuade you into the idea of marriage”

“You are not the first, what is your reasoning, is it money, it is definitely not for my looks”

“No, I do not wish for fortune and I find your appearance to be quite charming, I hear you are a smart man and I am set to wed a horrible man” You handed him the letter and he read it quickly, frowning as he progressed down the page. 

“I think it is not too dramatic to say I would do anything not to marry this man.”

“Their once was a woman from a small town, who would look much better without a frown, to save herself from his bed, another man she will wed, wearing her best gown” he grinned looking up at you. 

“There once was a man named Namjoon 

With eyes as bright as the moon, he didn’t know of his looks, his head stuck in his books, I wish to marry him this afternoon” the scholar seemed to blush at your words 

Park Jimin: Frog

Jimin was a shy boy, from a wealthy family, he had never stepped foot outside of his family home without an escort and had never spoken to another child his age without it being arranged. He had his scheduled play dates with Taehyung and Jungkook when they were free from their studies. There was a young girl next door that he sometimes heard playing, she was from a rich family as well and she would giggle loudly claiming to be catching her frog prince. Jimin grew older as did she and could still hear her sometimes talking to the frog about how she really wished they were a prince in disguise. 

One day he finished his studies and sat by the stone wall waiting to hear her talk to the frogs and chase them. It amused him to this day that you still couldn’t catch them, that being said you were successful once but you squealed and threw the frog over the fence in panic because you had actually touched it. 

Jimin was in his early twenties and heard you crying, you were talking to the frogs about how you felt alone. 

Climbing swiftly over the fence Jimin grinned when he saw you laying on the small stone bench. “It is I your frog prince” he was in fits of laughter as he saw you flail yourself off the bench. 

Kim Taehyung: Chicken 

You worked with a food delivery service, and it didn’t matter the food, the price or the amount, whenever you started your shift you would receive the same address, every time. Greeted by a handsome young man around your age. Today was an order for fried chicken but it was a different address. Perhaps you wouldn’t meet the handsome young man, the thought actually disappointed you somewhat. 

After all this time had you started enjoying your little moments with the young man? Of course you had he was so soft spoken and shy, you truly loved seeing him, maybe he was sick or hurt or injured. 

The unknown was driving you crazy, there was nothing you could do taking the fried chicken to the new address you were escorted inside. 

“I have a delivery of fried chicken?”

“Ah!” There he was looking absolutely amazing with his long dark hair in a perm. “I was worried I wouldn’t get to see you today”

“So was I, you're my favorite” placing the food in his hands trying to disregard the feeling of his hand brushing yours. 

As you walked away you heard laughter, “he is blushing”

“She said I was her favorite!”

Jeon Jungkook: Dance  @munchyn​

The school dance was coming up and it was ladies' choice, the moment it was announced you watched your best friend Jungkook greet bombarded by almost every girl in school. And he always apologizes declining politely and saying he was waiting for a certain someone to ask him. It must have been the most popular girl in school, who else would he wait for.

So when lunch came around and the school's most prettiest, smartest and most popular girl sauntered over to your table you placed your lunch down no longer hungry. 

“Hey Kookie, I heard you were waiting for a special someone to ask you to the dance?”

“Yes I am” he smiled up at her with his bunny teeth on show. 

“Well I am here so you don’t have to wait any longer”

Standing you went to leave unable to witness this any longer, Jungkook caught your hand in the middle of the lunch hall. “Y/n I know it’s a girl's choice but I was wondering if maybe you wanted to ask me to go to the dance with you?”

[mithrilwren]

The Great CritRole Fic Stats Roundup - Beau/Yasha

What is this project?

I’ve always been curious about what drives people to write about particular pairings, and how the popularity of pairings in fic evolves over time. Critical Role - with its smorgasbord of shipping combinations, healthy writing community, and predictable airing schedule - presents a fascinating opportunity to actually take a look at those patterns! For example, can we figure out the key, defining moments for a pairing just by looking at how much fic was posted after particular episodes aired? Well, I wrote a simple Ao3 HTML scraper to try and find out exactly that! (See this FAQ post for more on my data collection/analysis methodology.)

Previous Posts: Beau/Jester, Fjord/Caduceus, Caleb/Essek

The Raw Data

Total Fics Posted: 656

First Fic Posted: Jan 11, 2018 - Campaign 2 Drabbles by anticupid16. This fic was posted before the first episode even finished airing! (It was also the first Beau/Jester fic posted, interestingly enough!) Well done, you funky innovator!

Total Kudos: 124920

Total Comments: 22638

Comment/Hit Ratio: 0.012

Week By Week Analysis

[The graph below details the # of fics posted each week, aggregated from Fri-Thurs and associated with the preceding episode’s air date.]

Beauyasha was perhaps the fan favourite pairing right out the gate, with a big showing immediately after Campaign 2′s premiere episode. While the pairing’s weekly averages have declined slightly through the second half of the campaign, it continues to hold the second-place spot in terms of total number of fics published (outranked only by Widomauk). 

1. Week of Jan 11, 2018 - Curious Beginnings

Who could forget “Will you hold me through the show”? Beau and Yasha wasted no time forging memorable interactions in the very first episode of CR2, including Yasha fireman-carrying Beau into the circus, Beau asking to be held during the performance, and Yasha’s playful retort of “These arms are worth a lot.” While Beau didn’t have the five gold to spend to make her wish come true, writers were off to the races with these two, and weekly averages steadily rose for the first 25 episodes of the campaign.

2. Week of Jul 12, 2018 - Found and Lost

Sadly, Beauyasha’s highest peak also coincided with one of the most painful moments of the campaign - Mollymauk’s death. With Yasha stolen by slavers and everyone still processing the loss of a main character (who was particularly connected both to Yasha and Beau), the atmosphere was primed for rescue fics and hurt/comfort. 

Weekly averages began to dip for the next few months, coinciding with Ashley’s return to NYC and Yasha’s frequent absences/jaegering by Travis.

3. Week of Jan 17, 2019 - Homeward Bound

A big spike this week, which seems to be attributable to CR Femslash week, moreso than the actual content of the episode. Quite a few Beauyasha fics were marked as such during this timespan, and I imagine a handful more that were written for the week simply weren’t tagged. If there’s any consistent trend that I’m starting to notice across multiple pairings, it’s that focused weeks for generating specific content work. Good to know!

4. Week of Jun 27, 2019 - The King’s Cage

We continue the trend of soothing the pain with, you guessed it, fic! A big spike following the episode where Yasha is stolen away by Obann - angst, ahoy! (One of these days, Beau and Yasha will get to have a nice, peaceful weekend where they sip margaritas and nobody gets kidnapped.)

5. Week of Nov 21, 2019 - The Cathedral

Once again, we’ve got a healthy dose of angst, with some hope on the horizon. Yasha returns just in time to stab Beau through the chest (she got better), but more importantly, just in time to break free from Obann’s control and rejoin the Nein by the end of the episode!

With Ashley permanently back from at the table following Blindspot’s wrap (woo!) and the potential for far more frequent Beau/Yasha interactions, I’m fascinated to see if this pairing makes a resurgence back to its early-campaign numbers, or if the current era of fic will trend more towards other pairings. Time will tell!

[bellaroles]

Top 7 comfort movie, tagged by @notasapleasure

Thanks! I was looking was something fun to do during this quarantine time.

By comfort meaning, able for rewatching as many time as I like without feeling bored or disturbed. OK, I have a few but can anime be called movie as well? Anyway, here’s my list

1. The Court Jester (1955)

I’m a sucker for witty dialogue + musical comedy + medieval theme which are all blended wonderfully in this movie. Danny Kaye was very funny and talented in this one. This always make me laugh like crazy from start to finish, and also the music is catching as well.

2. Star Trek (2009)

This reboot is very enjoyable to watch. Time-travel theme checked, Enemies to friends to...dare I hope? Lovers?! Checked. Gosh...those bantering dialogue plus reference to Sherlock Holmes (albeit a wrong one lol). Teamwork driven plot unlike a certain popular Sci-fi franchise. Every characters shone with personality, my favorite is Bones. And the CG was also pleasant enough in the eyes. What more can I want in a Sci-fi?

3. My fair lady (1954)

Although I don’t like that misogynist ending, I love this musical-romance(lol what?) so very much. Audrey Hepburn was so lovely. The plot and dialogue was enjoyable. The music was divine, there are few musicals I can claim to be able to sing along more than half of their score, and this is one of them. The costume designs, esp. that black & white horse race scene, was so beautiful.

4. You’ve got mail (1998)

Joe Fox had his faults, to this day I still couldn’t overlooked his business strategy of overcoming small local bookstores with his multi-million dollar book mall complex. Despite that, I still swoon a bit, whenever he and Kathleen were together on the screen. This is my go-to romantic fluff movie. The tone was so fuzzy and warm, and that classic enemies to lovers trope helped a lot. I’ve watched its older version “The shop Around the Corner” (1940) but I love this version more. Maybe it’s because it’s Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks’s chemistry.

5. Maquia: When the Promised Flower Blooms (2018)

This got me by surprised. I didn’t expect much when I first watched it but 5 minutes in I was hooked. This anime was an exquisite tearjerker, set in imaginary middle-earth-like fantasy land. Featuring an elvish-like girl (whose race has a very long life-span) whose home was invaded by the human, and an orphaned human baby boy that she adopted as her son. And picture that this movie span the lifetime of that boy( till the end of his days) I cried like a baby while watching this, haha is that comfortable for me, yes it is! Best mother-son relationship ever depicted on an anime, in my opinion. It make me want to be a better daugther to my mother! The art visual and music is also very beautiful.

6. Porco Rosso (1992)

My most favorite Studio Ghibli’s anime. There’s something so calm and beautiful flying a red aero plane over the deep blue sea, with a gang of enemy planes in hot pursue! I love its anti-war message, the strange pig curses that could be interpreted in many ways, the lovely Gina & Marco maybe-romance, lively Fio and also those adorable air pirates gang. With Joe Hisaishi’s OST playing in the background and Hayashi Miyazaki’s beautiful art, this is my very comfort movie.

7. It’s a wonderful life (1946)

Not just Christmas do I rewatch this, lol. But every time I do, I’ll be reminded once again that there is always something good in a bad situation. One of that good thing is people who are willing to help each other in their time of need. And I should strive more to be one too.

Honorable mentions; these films are not exactly comfort inducing film but for times of a certain mood I want to indulge in

Clue (1985) Sarcastically funny and witty. I recently found out that there are a few alternate endings but haven’t been able to find one yet.

Two Weeks Notice (2002) I love it sometimes because of Hugh grant and Sandra bullock. Also that once selfish billionaire who later learn to care about other people trope is quite endearing

Silver Linings Playbook (2012) Two people with psychiatric disorders reluctantly helped each other to cope with their problems all the while slowly falling in love is so romantic IMHO.

Merry Christmas mr. Lawrence (1983) The Lymond vibe is so strong in David Bowie’s character “Major Jack Calliers” That strong questions about “sacrifice”, “war morality”, and also the underlying homoerotic messages. This one was disturbing to watch but also made a very strong impression in my mind. I wanna rewatch it sometimes when I’m in a thoughtful mood.

The Honey Pot (1967). Rex Harrison and Maggie Smith are so memorable in this one. A crime comedy-drama loosely based on the play Volpone. After watching it, “Dance of the Hours” is never heard the same to me lol.

Megamind (2010) talking about enemies to lovers trope (Again?!) Ok I’m obsessed with this trope lol. I love this movie-cartoon whatever, Megamind is adorable. He and Roxanne are one of my favorite ship. And the redemption arc, gosh , was very well done.

And my latest watch, contender for the above 7 is Emma (2020), such exquisite productions of my favorite Jane Austen’s. It’s like watching a play instead of a movie. Very very well done :))

[zevons]

Author meme!

Got tagged by @lookslikeaquentinblakedrawing​ ages ago and am finally getting down to it :D

Author name: saltstreets on AO3

Fandoms you write for: at the mo it’s all The Terror and Critical Role and the former seems unlikely to be budged from it’s spot at the front of my brain any time soon. But the vast majority of my stuff is football RPF, and I’ll likely return to writing that at some point. Once Germany and Arsenal stop being so shit uninspiring, at least. //stomps foot

Where you post: AO3, and anon on FFA. You’ll never catch me! (You might, I’m in the process of expanding some 100 words fills into actual, publishable fics)

Most popular one-shot: by both kudos and hits, a careful heart is better than none, which is a football fic I wrote three and a half years ago now. Goodness me how time flies.

Most popular multi-chaptered story: it doesn’t have a lot of competition since I’ve got barely any multi-chaptered stuff but A Method for Schemes and Scams. It was very fun to write and has almost zero relation to the workings of the real actual world. I regret nothing!

Favourite story you wrote: it’s a close tie between The Lee Shore of the City, because I’m still quite proud of some of the language in that, and Remedial Exercises in Teamwork, mostly because I think it’s funny…actually, looking at my page now, I do like a lot of my fics? I feel positivity in this Chili’s tonight

Story you were nervous to post: oh DEFINITELY Odds Are That We Will Probably Be Alright. Many people can attest to the sheer amount of hand-wringing and wailing and gnashing of teeth I did. Terror fandom is so full of talent, and more immediately the Terrebus mod team is chock full of the stuff, and I wanted it to be good enough to live up to that standard!

How do you choose your titles: I either have a created phrase in my head more or less from the start of writing, or I use song lyrics. And most of the time if it’s a song lyric…well

Do you outline: sometimes, sometimes not. What usually will happen is I just start writing, then start tripping over the plot threads in my head trying to get them out quick enough, and just switch to bold font in Word to start jotting them down before I forget and then scattering lines I think sound cool around the bolded segments of plot until eventually it can be all puzzled together. Plotting is not my strong suit anyway, as you may be able to tell from the number of fics I have tagged ‘character study’, which is my shorthand way of saying ‘I have no idea what this is but it’s like 3k and goes nowhere so have it’.

Complete: in terms of published stuff, all but one at the moment! I haven’t regularly posted WIPs since way, way back in the day when AO3 was a merely twinkle in the eye. Odds Are is good way for me to get back to chaptered works.

In-progress: my WIP folder is disgustingly sprawling…but the more currently active ones I have are:

-self-indulgent Tozer/Little survival -increasingly self-indulgent Jopson/Hickey machinations -WILDLY self-indulgent Blanky/Hartnell (can you tell I’m getting geared up for rare pair week?) -and Terrebus FC fic of course C:

There are also some Critrole things that are on the back burner (Caleb and Jester bodyswap! A Sex Pollen Fic!) while The Terror eats my brain.

Coming soon/not yet started: I’ve got a word doc that is entirely empty except for the following note to self-

so that’ll happen, eventually, maybe, someday,

Do you accept prompts: yes please! I would like to start posting more fic stuff on tumblr and getting more involved in Terror fandom. So send me stuff! No promises, but I’d love to give anything a whirl. I’m an incorrigible multishipper so prompt away.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: it’s sort of cheating cos that first chapter is already up but it’s gotta be Odds Are/Terrebus. I just love playing in this spaaaace. Also I must have spent all these years obsessed with the minutiae of a) Age of Sail and b) football for something…

Tagging!!! @strikerbacks​ @lahmly​ @tomhartnell​ @winterlain​ @simplyirenic​

[comfortcbleinchaos]

"Whatever it is that you’re doing —” Jester ( arms folded in haughty displeasure, fringe tumbling in her eyes, where she leans in the doorway to her office... room... whatever you call the space where the younger Time Lord devises new ways to cheat at little human frivolities like Monopoly. she’s been obsessed with winning since she accidentally introduced it to Anne of Cleves, and lost ) frowns at Koschei, “can you tell the person screaming to shut up? I’m trying to nap.”

                                                                                                               @theirbestenemii​

[comfortcbleinchaos]

A bright and faraway smile rests, peaceful, upon Jester’s features, for a few moments. Then she clears her throat, body language reflecting ( false ) innocence regarding whichever episode of time-tomfoolery she must’ve been caught out for: “Erm, you’re looking at me like I’ve done something, again.”