#just realized i didnt sign these but whatever lol too late

[glindaupland]

some dong seok phantoms for practice 🌹🖤

[freebooter4ever]

"he's not even a celebrity, why are you so freaked out about this?"

Not a celebrity to you maybe. But okay, too late to respond to my friend's comment i thought of this example: imagine a signed hockey stick your favorite hockey blorbo used to score the most amazing goal of their career, or that puck, or something. That relatively mundane, meaningless item suddenly has significance because of the value you put in it.

Now in this case, the guy passed around his sketchbooks for the audience to look through. This blew my mind. Like A) he didn't treat his sketchbooks like precious commodities and B) he trusted the crowd not to...I dunno break them? Anyway the minute I realized I could potentially touch a sketchbook i was like, holy shit i need to touch a sketchbook (i didnt. The books never made it all the way over to me in the back lmao). But it was like 'wow i understand sports fans better now, because touching this sketchbook that he probably has hundreds of feels like the holy grail'. Like if i could just look through those pages i'd be blessed with some kind of halo light of art.

Anyway, my point being: 'celebrity' is in the eye of the beholder, really. And also it shows how little people really understand of social anxiety. In certain circumstances I am equally terrified of famous people and non famous people alike. For example, last halloween I went to a sculpting demonstration by a random artist I never heard of. I watched in awe, and then spent an hour at the reception getting up the courage to talk to him. I'd never even heard of the guy, I didn't know who he was, but I was still shaking in my shoes trying to say a single damn sentence.

I'm tired of people judging me for this, I'm tired of this being seen as a lack of 'skills' issue - as if I can 'practice' enough to rewire my brain chemistry or personality or whatever. I wish people would instead try to understand a little, and not look down on people like me who just can't fucking network as if we aren't trying hard enough so therefore don't deserve anything LOL.

[vagarius]

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it?    their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most?    uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?     ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them?     I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them?     THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them?     hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s)    this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics?     THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon)     this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together?     they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why?     i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10.     AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them?     in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?)     you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why?     OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing?     THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them?     i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them?    as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them?     TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.)     angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation?    they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date?     i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts?     IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes     THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au    consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love

[captain-jinguji]

Hi! Hope you're having a good day!! I was recently watching Utapri Season 1 and just remembered that Rens mom was an idol! She was known all around the world so I'm sure people would've known about her songs? Could you write a scenario or headcanon (or whatever you like!) That maybe like one day Rens s/o was singing one of her songs? How would he react? Also, I'm pretty sure he's been asked about her (like on a variety show or by his bandmates) and has probably been asked to sing her songs!

Hey love! Sorry it took so long I have been thinking about this scenario for a while lol I really wanted to get to it!!! So since i have a bunch of time right now (yay for a safe wisdom teeth removal) I'll get onto it now!

Memories ( REN JINGUJI X READER)

The topic of his mother's death was always a sensitive thing, you knew that, and you barely brought it up for that very reason. Ren is someone who doesnt like to disclose the information of his feelings very often and he rarely lets you, his long-term partner, see him in such a vulnerable state, which is fine. You admire him for keeping it in a lot of times, when you were sure you'd have broken down.

But lately, and you didnt quite know why, you've been seeing signs of Renge all around you. Her favorite flowers, her music, hell you could swear you hear her laugh at times too. At first you just kind of brushed it off as a coincidence, but you had a feeling it was something more; a sign, maybe? A hint or a warning that something is about to happen? You weren't quite sure, but you paid extra close attention to everything around you.

Ren had noticed you seeming more... Concentrated? Determined? He didn't quite know the word but it was different. For a while he just shrugged it off; maybe youre just reading a book and the plot is getting to you, or maybe youre wrecking your brain about how one person can be so perfect~ he chuckled at the last thought while he made his way home from practice. His hands were in his pocket, playing with the necklace he planned on giving you. It was a promise, from him to you, to always be there. He didnt like promise rings too much, but he knew a necklace was placed, more often than not, right above the heart, and that's where he wanted to stay. In your heart.

While he smiled and toyed with the though of spending his life with you, some day, the smell of roses caught him off guard. He stopped walking for a moment and looked around, not realizing where the smell came from until his eyes landed on a small flower shop. His mom's favorite because with every flower you bought, you got a free cupcake. His heart ached a little at the memory and he smiled sadly. Might as well... He entered the shop and bought a bouquet of carnations. Of course he got the cupcake too!

He finished his walk home rather quickly after that. You were in the kitchen, making some spicy spaghetti for you two, knowing that it combines two of his favorite things; Italian and spicy. You were also humming to one of his mother's songs; a song that has been around you for a while. It wasnt even that you heard it on the radio, the melody just came to you.

Ren entered his house and immediately, his nostrils were hit with the smell of spaghetti. God he loved your spaghetti and his smile turned wider. But his ears were hit with something else, something dear to him and his smile quickly dropped; how did you know that melody? Slowly, cautiously, he walked through the entrance and into the kitchen, the bouquet quickly put on the table while he just stood there; the familiar tune of his mother singing to him right before birth hitting his heart like cupid's arrow. "How do you know that...?" He didnt mean to sound stern, he really didn't. But he doesnt recall ever telling you about that; no one knows about that.

You jumped a little at the sound, but turned around to smile at your boyfriend, "welcome home, I made spaghetti!" You cheery voice told him that you ignored his question and he took a shaky step toward you until he stood, towering above, "how... Do you know that melody?" His voice was barely above a whisper and you met his eyes, now filled with sadness. "I.. I dont know. It just came to me... It was almost like a need, an urge, to sing it..." You explained and your concerned eyes searched his for any sign of emotion but he just pulled you into a tight embrace, burying his face into your neck, "Ren...?"

Ren was so overcome with emotion, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill so he buried his face further into your neck. You slowly wrapped your arms around his form and stroked a hand through his hair, feeling him crumble into you. You didnt quite understand why yet but you just let him.

He took a deep breath and pulled away, the tears staining his face being such an odd sight to you, but you didn't judge. "That was my mothers song... She sang it to me before I was born..." He recalled, softly, while looking at you like you weren't real. Your eyes met his again, in shock, "really...? It's so weird, ive been hearing her a lot lately..." confusion formed on his face while you said that and you quickly explained, "ive been seeing her favorite flowers, the orchids you told me about, wherever I go. Her songs come on on the radio all the time now, and ive been smelling this.. Perfume? I dont know what it is but it's so calming and motherly...sometimes I swear I hear her laugh as well."

His breath hitched in his throat as he listened to your words and his knees almost gave out, "(Y/N)..." He doesnt believe his ears when you tell him. He doesnt believe anything. But if there's one thing he can believe it's the fact that his mother has been watching him lately, has been watching him forever. To pull you into this... Surely it must mean something more and he wasnt quite sure what, but he will with time. For now, he pulled you back in close and kissed your face, hoping that you, his heaven send angel, weren't going to leave anytime soon.

[luccislegs]

Hnnng I didnt want to give you too much to do, so I didnt ask it earlier but, if you dont mind I have a request! And its Kaku, Lucci and Kumadori with a workaholic s/o who has major ocd? And (if its okay) because if it doesnt tend to take care of themselves if it hinders work? (So like, not eating, not sleeping, not staying in bed when sick/injured etc)

so long as you don’t go over my character limit, i don’t care lol anyway i did some research on ocd to try and make these more on point, but since i don’t have it i may not have everything correct

kaku:

he’s the most understanding. when he first found out you have it, he went and did research on it to see exactly what he was dealing with.

he’s also the one that tries his hardest to help you whenever you’re having trouble managing. if he sees that you’re staying late trying to finish that one document that you just can’t get out of your head, he’ll gently talk you through why it can wait and actively encourage you to leave it be.

he pays more attention to your obsessions than the others, trying to keep you from harming yourself too much. he’ll remind you to eat, and coax you to leave and have lunch with him.

he’ll force you to stay in bed if you’re sick or injured, talking you through why you being sick won’t help you get the work done any better than not doing it at all, reminding you it isn’t going anywhere. he isn’t above using physical affection against you either, and he’ll hold you close to him while he tells you about past missions or ideas he had, or asks you about some specific thing. just, anything to distract you.

kaku is the one that makes a true, educated effort to try and help you. he’ll tell you flat out if what you’re doing is harmful, and won’t encourage you to follow through with your compulsions. he isn’t forceful or demanding about it, but he doesn’t let you just get away with it.

kumadori:

he is sweet, and is understanding, but doesn’t really understand. he does some research, but doesn’t fully grasp how to handle your obsessions and compulsions.

if he catches you in the midst of an all-nighter, he’ll ask if you’re coming to bed, but won’t push as hard as he should to make you. more often than not, he’ll just annoy you into giving in, but won’t understand why you’re so antsy.

honestly, it would be up to you to sit him down and really explain your personal obsessions and compulsions, and ask him to help you more. he’s more than willing, he just needs a little guidance on how to help.

once he knows what you need from him, he does surprisingly well. you have to pull yourself away from your work in order to really focus on what he’s saying, because you know how he is, everything is long and drawn out.

at first, you’re a little annoyed because you’re being pulled away from your work and your brain doesn’t like that. then you realize, holy shit i’m being pulled away from work. 

kumadori doesn’t even know how much he helps either. there’s just something about the slow, drawn out way he speaks to you about how you need to eat or sleep that calms the obsessive thoughts. maybe it’s the fact that you really have to focus in order to catch everything he says, or maybe it’s just his voice, but whatever it is, you often follow him to bed or to the kitchen without fight.

he’s also the best at helping you fall asleep. when you ask him to tell you a story, you’re usually asleep before he’s through.

lucci:

lucci is, as he ever is when you’re an agent, a bastard.

lowkey thinks that your ocd is a hindrance until you start overworking yourself. that being said, he won’t let you kill yourself doing it, but he’s impressed by the performance. at least until you’re so exhausted you start making mistakes.

he knows full well what you having ocd means, but it doesn’t really make a difference to him. unlike kaku, he isn’t gentle when he tells you to stop your compulsions, just that you have to stop.

if you haven’t eaten that day, he’ll physically pull you away from your work and force you to eat, regardless of your protests. he’s generous enough to distract you while you eat, otherwise he knows you’ll sneak away from him and return to your work.

he’ll also actually encourage you to return to work if you’re injured or sick, because he takes being laid up like that as a sign of weakness. he would do this to you whether you had ocd or not, too.

sometimes though, when you’ve literally passed out doing your work, he’ll pick you up and carry you to bed. the next day, he’ll keep you from your work, distracting you with a date or physical affection. if you wake up and immediately try to get up and go back to work, he’ll pull you back into his arms and hold you there, whispering in your ear that it can wait, doing whatever he has to to keep you from leaving.

he’s an ass, but you are his partner and at the end of the day he does care for you. He’s just not as caring as he could be.

[cruddykawa]

Oikawa x Reader | Blind Date AU

this was in my drafts for like a hot minute bc when i read it i was like hmmm idk lol but i gave it some time and reread it and i like it lmfao just did some quit edits to it and i think its pretty good lol i didnt want it to be too weirdly specific and thats what i felt like were the initial issues w it

oikawa x reader

word count: 1346

____________________

Your friend asked you for a huge favor, “Look! I know that you really hate these kinds of things, but I swear this guy is really cool! So many of my classmates in my department have a crush on the guy!”

You rolled your eyes, “Then why don’t you ask one of them to go on the blind date?”

“Because! I don’t know. I just think you’d really be a good match with him,” she started to mumble, “and it’s been awhile since you’ve been on a date. I don’t want your youth to wither away before your eyes.”

“It hasn’t been that long!” you scoffed at your friend.

Your friend crossed her arms, “It’s literally been two years since you broke up with your ex-boyfriend.”

“M-maybe I just don’t want a boyfriend.” You stuttered.

“Oh yeah,” your friend snorted, “because that just sounded so convincing.”

“I just think that if I were to fall in love or become interested in someone that we’d meet organically.” You sighed.

“And how has that been working out for you?” your friend laughed.

“Fine,” you groaned, “But if this date is terrible, you owe me lunch.”

“If it goes terrible, then I’ll buy you dinner too!” your friend grinned, “That’s how confident I am in this blind date!”

....

Days later, your friend sent you all his contact information and even a picture of him. You had to admit that when you saw him, you understood a little bit why so many people in your friend’s department had a crush on him.

After a couple of minutes of waiting at the station, you looked at your phone to check the time. It wasn’t too late to bail. He hadn’t arrived yet, so you could leave right now. You began to walk back inside the subway station when someone called out your name. You looked in the direction that it came from and saw your date. You awkwardly waved at him and cursed yourself for not leaving at least thirty seconds earlier. He jogged in your direction and showed you a bright smile. You felt your heart skip a beat. “I know your friend told you this already, but I’m Oikawa Tooru.”

You bowed and introduced yourself. He smiled, “Should we get going to our reservation?”

You nodded in response, and the two of you walked towards the restaurant. On the way there, you asked, “I know you and my friend are in the same department at school, but how did you two get to know each other?”

“We actually have known of each other for a while, but I guess we finally had a chance to talk to each other a couple months ago because of a group project!” he answered.

“I see.” You smiled, “So, then how did she convince you to go on this blind date?”

Oikawa grinned at you, “I asked her to set it up for me!”

Your cheeks turned red, and you awkwardly chuckled, “I hope I don’t disappoint you then.”

The two of you had reached the restaurant and were seated at a table near the window. Oikawa propped his chin on his hands and asked, “So, tell me about yourself.”

“How about you tell me about yourself first while I think of something to tell you?” You suggested.

“Well, I’m on the school’s volleyball team.” He replied, “I play setter!”

You thought for a moment on the little information you might have learned in high school and said, “They’re the ones that set up for the offense, right?”

Oikawa gave you peace sign, “Correct! You should come and watch some our games one day. Some people say I have hands made for setting.”

You laughed and looked at your own hands, “How would you know if you have good hands for setting?”

He gently grabbed your left hand and examined your fingers. Oikawa continued, “Well, it’s good if a setter has bigger hands or longer fingers. And looking at your hand, you have do have long fingers.”

You felt your hand heat up from his touch but joked, “Maybe I should have played volleyball then.”

Oikawa beamed, “I could teach you!”

“Maybe next time.” You laughed, trying to politely decline.  

Oikawa smirked, “Oh, so there’s gonna be a next time?”

Before you could answer, the waitress asked you for your order. You pulled your hand away and picked up the menu. After you gave her your order, Oikawa said, “Okay, I’ve told you a little bit about me. How about you?”

You smiled and cocked your head a bit, “Uhm, well I don’t know. Where should I start?”

Oikawa laughed, “Okay. How about we play 20 questions?”

You grinned at his suggestion, “Sounds interesting. Question 1?”

“Favorite color?” he started off.

“Turquoise.” You answered.

He raised his eyebrows, and you tilted your head confused at his response. He chuckled and then shook his head, “Favorite food?”

“Milk bread.” You nodded.

Oikawa raised his eyebrows again, but before you were able to ask what it was about, he already moved on, “Question three. Worst habit?”

“I have a tendency to really get obsessed with things that I’m interested in. Like I’ll pick doing whatever I’m into at that moment over sleep.” You replied.

Oikawa went slightly wide-eyed, and you laughed, “What? What is it? You’ve been making that face with each answer I’ve been giving you.”

“It’s just that all of our answers are pretty similar.” He smiled, “You didn’t stalk me or something before this date, right?”

You scoffed, “I’ve never even seen you before in real life before today!”

“In real life?” he asked.

“Our friend sent me a picture of your face to see what you looked like, but I swear that’s it!” you laughed, “Speaking of, what made you ask our friend to set us up on a date?”

Oikawa’s cheeks turned slightly red and said, “I thought I was asking the questions!”

“Now that sounds suspicious.” You laughed, “I’ll get back to it later when you’ve finished the 15 other questions.”

“15?” he repeated, “I only asked three!”

You shook your head and grinned, “Nope! You just asked me two questions right now.”

Oikawa playfully sighed and leaned back on his chair, “Fine. Question 5…”

The two of you were walking on the street eating the ice cream you bought from an ice cream shop. You put a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth and said, “Okay. You have one question left, and before the game is completely over, let me ask you my one question.”

Oikawa licked his ice cream cone and said, “Shoot.”

You smiled, “Why did you ask my friend if she could set us up on a blind date?”

“I’d always seen you around campus. If I said that it was like love at first sight, would you believe me?” he answered.

You took a bite of your ice cream and tried to recall the day that happened, and you burst out laughing, “Nope! Give me the real reason.”

“I would just see you on campus more often than most people. You always have a smile on your face while walking to class or something. It made me curious to know what was going on in your head.” Oikawa looked at you and grinned, “I mean, it also helped that I think you’re pretty attractive. ”

You felt your cheeks turn red but scoffed, “Thanks, I guess.” 

“Anyways,” Oikawa changed the subject, “Time for the 20th question.”

He stepped in front of you and asked, “Would you go on another date with me after today?”

“ Well, let’s just sat that I’m glad I didn’t end up bailing on this date thirty seconds before you called my name.” You smirked, walking around him, leaving him behind.

A huge smile grew on Oikawa’s smile until he realized that you confessed to nearly bailing on this date. He yelled, “Wait! You were going to bail on this date?!”

“Sorry!” you sang, “Your 20 questions are up! I think we have to wait for next time.”

[shirbertandderry4ever]

Thoughts on ep 7

-so this episode did not impress me for a number of reasons

- S3 Anne had really made me dislike her character. I don't hate her but this episode was...yeah. she was a bit insufferable but that's just me

- I don't think it would be very difficult to understand that Anne's section in the paper was based off Josie. After all the people had witnessed her confront Billy and tell him he shouldn't have touched her (Josie) and then comes a paper about fairness and I don't think it's too hard to put two and two together

- I'm glad the reaction to it wasn't downplayed and could be fixed with a little apology. Well it was kinda fixed with an apology but at least Anne realized that she had been in the wrong

- oh my little shipper heart is broken. I was hoping Derry would survive. But as soon as the scene of them in the woods began and Jerry had said I don't know to whatever that question Diana had, I had a feeling it was over. Maybe she did like him but partly because this was forbidden and therefore, exciting. Then the honeymoon stage was over and she realized she didn't really like him like she thought she did

-i kinda wish that part was just a lie and she's only saying that to convince herself

- I don't want this to be the end of Derry!!

-we better get a scene of them making up or her apologizing or something

-did anyone else feel like Diana was acting weirdly out of character? Maybe it's because she's been making different decisions lately but idk she just did

-i was hoping they weren't gonna ask Matthew for his opinion then he'll say something and they'll take it the wrong way/get mad at him

-im glad we got a Jerry/Anne scene together (is this the first one this season??) But why does it have to be angst?? I want some funny scenes of them bickering like siblings. Although I would also like a comfort scene, where one is crying and the other sooths them. They could do it if Derry is done like we all suspect

- the fight was unexpected but I don't remember if they've fought before not, if not then at least this part is being realistic. It was bound to happen. I do have to say I think Dalila and Amybeth acted out this really well

- was anyone else half expecting Jerry to be in the background working and then be noticed when Diana was insisting it didn't mean anything? I'm glad that didn't happen though

- I wonder how long Diana has left before finishing school and if she and Anne will be not speaking to each other until the last minute

- the protest, at least the signs that said freedom of speech is a human right, felt really modernized. That's all I got to say about that

- my phone was acting so I didnt see the Shirbert scene but ima watch it later!!

-also I'm sad we have 3 episodes left. We better get a s3 but I guess we won't know that until after it's premiered on Netflix

-i also think Josie's scene with her parents was well done as well. I never really paid attention to her before but I like how her character is acted out (if that makes sense lol)

- edit: I forgot to say that Gilbert's "not that I'm telling you what to do" comment was cringy im sorry lol but it was

[the-writing-dump-bin]

You knew I’d pop up here lol. For your 150 followers event, congrats by the way, I was wanting to request Jotaro with prompts 15 and 17. If it could be nsfw that would be great but if you can only think of sfw ideas that’s okay!! ❤️

Soooo I got a little carried away, sorry it took so long. I hope you like it, thank you for your request!

NSFW 18+

[[MORE]]

"Shouldn't you be with him?"

"I can't sleep, can I stay here?"

It was a cool evening as you sat on the hill that was just outside the park with your friends, waiting for the fireworks to start. There was a cultural event happening and at the end of the evening, they were going to set off the colourful explosives in the sky.

"This is taking forever." Whined Chris, a guy your friends were trying to set you up with. You had met him through them and they invited him along to try and push you two together. He was a good guy, but he did complain a lot. It had been taking a while, but there was a set time they were supposed to go off at.

Ten minutes had passed and you heard a 'Hey' behind you. Looking up, you saw Jotaro looming over you. Smiling, you stood up to greet him. "Hey! You came!" You had invited him when he came into the little cafe you worked at; he was also your neighbour a few doors down from your apartment, nice guy, but very quiet. You introduced him to your friends. Your girlfriends eyed him up and down, not being subtle about it at all.

Chris scowled at him, intimidated by his physique and good looks. When you sat back down, Jotaro sat next to you, causing Chris to scooch closer to you and put an arm around you; showing him that he shouldn't try anything.

"So how do you two know each other?" Lisa, one of your girlfriends, asked.

"Jotaro comes into the cafe every morning for coffee. We also live in the same building." That comment made Chris narrow his eyes.

Jotaro didnt pay much mind to the looks he was getting. He just stared ahead to where the fireworks were supposed to go off at. Truth be told, he didn't want to be here. He only came because you asked him to.

The last few months, he had come into the cafe more frequently; every weekday morning, to be in fact. He ordered the same thing, black coffee and a breakfast sandwich, made by you. When you struggled to bring up your groceries from the car to you apartment, he was there to help you so you didn't have to make a number of trips. But under that hard exterior, he was scared to ask you if you wanted to do something together. So when you invited him tonight, he had to keep cool as he said 'sure'. Seeing this guy with his arm around you, crushed him inside. Had he known you had a boyfriend, he wouldn't have shown up.

Finally, it was time for the show. It was absolutely beautiful; the colours and design patterns went so well with the corresponding music. You leaned back, keeping yourself propped up with your arms. Jotaro turned his head towards you slightly to look at you. Your eyes reflected the explosions in the night sky, making them sparkle. He smiled ever so lightly.

"This blows." Chris muttered, grabbing your hand and pulling you up with him. "I'm hungry, lets go get food."

The others got up too, except Jotaro, he remained seated. "Jotaro, do you want to join us?" Lisa asked.

Jotaro just glanced up, catching a vibe from the other male who wasn't subtle about how he didn't want him to go with them. "Thanks, but no. I'm just going home."

Your eyes turned sad. "Are you sure?" It looked like Jotaro was about to say something but was cut off when Chris pulled you away to leave.

"That was really rude, Chris." You scolded, walking next to him as you all made your way to a late night resturaunt. "Jotaro is a good friend of mine and you were just rude to him all night."

"Whatever. He didn't seem that nice, anyways. Plus, I didnt like the way he was looking at you."

"What?"

"Oh, come on, you didn't notice? If I wasn't there, I bet he'd be all over you. It was a good thing I was; guy like that would easily sweep you off your feet. This was supposed to be a date."

Stopping in your tracks, your mind started to spin. Was Jotaro interested in you? If you were honest with yourself, you were into him as well. And you knew him a hell of a lot better than you knew this prick who was dragging you. Shaking your arm free from his grasp, you stood your ground. "Let go of me!"

Your girlfriends stopped as well and stood just off to the side, looking scared and uncomfortable.

"You know what, you're an asshole. I dont want anything to do with you." Looking to your friends, you apologized and told them you were going home, asking them to leave you alone for a while.

---

How long has it been since you stopped counting sheep as you laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling? Your mind wouldn't stop thinking about the man who lived just two apartments away from you. The longer you thought about him, the more you realized the signs. How he started coming into the cafe every morning after you told him you worked there. The exact time he would know when you would get back from shopping so he could help you. He even remembered your birthday and gave you a card. So on and so on.

You had to talk to him.

~

Jotaro woke up to the sound of knocking on his door. Growling with annoyance, he glanced at the clock and pulled on a pair of lounge pants and stomped to the door, opening it. "Yare Yare Daze. You better have a good damn reason to- Y/N?" He looked down the hall to see if anyone else was there but found no one.

"I can't sleep, can I stay here for a bit?" You tried not to look at his bare torso. It certainly wasn't helping with the things you were thinking of earlier.

"Y-Yeah, sure. Come in." He moved to the side and held the door open for you to enter. "Is everything all right? Where is that Chris guy? Shouldn't you be with him?"

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms in a huff. "Forget that guy. I'm sorry he was so rude to you."

"I'm not worried about it." Jotaro went into the kitchen and poured you a glass of water. "I just didn't really care for the way he treated you."

Blushing, you accepted the water he handed you. "Thank you." Taking a sip, you gazed around his apartment. You had never been inside before. It was well decorated, with books on ocean life on a shelf and pictures he took on trips he went on. Setting down the glass, you ventured further inside.

"Y/N? Are you sure you're okay?"

Running a hand through your hair, you let out a long sigh. "I-I honestly don't know. Something happened tonight and I can't stop thinking about it." Trying your best, you couldn't help but look at him. You always knew he was fit, but actually seeing his muscles and how the pants hung off his hips lit a spark deep inside you.

Jotaro noticed how you were looking at him. He had long for you to look at him this way, his crush on you going back eight months ago. Taking a bold move, he closed the gap between the two of you, moving a stray hair behind your ear. His intense, yet beautiful, turquoise eyes locked with yours, making you feel intoxicated. "You can't stop thinking about it?" His face came closer to yours. "I have always thought about it."

Your stomach did flips. Your heart pounded. His nose nuzzled yours; lips hovering over your own. You haven't felt this excited in a long time. Taking a dare, your arms wrapped around his neck the best they could. He reciprocated by wrapping his own around you and lifted you up, putting your legs around his hips. Your fingers traced the sharp features of his face- he was so handsome. "I want to kiss you." You breathlessly whispered.

Jotaro couldn't help but grin. Was this real? Were you really in his arms, wanting to kiss him? This was like a dream. One he didn't want to ever wake up from. "Then kiss me." The kiss was soft, tender and loving. He held you ever so gently in the middle of his living room.

Out of breath, you pulled back and rested your forehead on his, staring into his eyes. Without words, he seemed to have asked you a question, to which you nodded your answer. Kissing you again, he carried you down the hall and into his room, placing you softly on his mattress on your back and climbed on top of you.

His hand traveled along your side, up your shirt and over your skin, giving you goosebumps as you lifted your arms to help him take off your shirt. Traveling around your back, he unhooked your bra and removed that as well. He took a moment to burn your image into his mind before leaning in to kiss your breasts, giving them an equal amount of attention.

Sitting up, he grabbed the waistband of the pajama pants you wore on your way over to his place, pulling them down slowly and throwing them off to the side. He pulled his down as well, freeing himself. Going over to his bedside table, he grabbed a condom and rolled it on.

Wow. You stared, your legs squeezing together at the thought of his cock going into you. Something that size you would definitely have to take in slowly.

Jotaro caged you with his massive arms, his hips parallel with yours. Bringing them down, he rubbed his cock against your wet sex while he kissed your lips and stroked your hair. He was so loving and caring; taking his time with you so that you both enjoy every second of this. He could easily take you roughly and animalistic, but he didn't want to do something like with you quite yet. He wanted to show you how much he loved you.

Looking down between your legs, you both watched as Jotaro slowly entered you, pushing himself all the way to his base and then pulled back. Oh, God, what a feeling!

No words were said as you two made slow and passionate love. The only sounds that could be heard were from your shared panting and gasps and the sounds of your limbs sliding over the sheets.

The muscles in Jotaro's back tensed with each thrust he gave you. He couldn't help but pick up his pace a little when he felt his release coming. Your arms snaked under his, splaying your hands over his back; you were getting closer as well.

Now his hips were snapping wildly against you, he couldn't take it anymore, and neither could you. Smashing your lips together, you kissed deeply as you came around his cock, your body seizing through your orgasm. Jotaro kept going, the feel of your walls clamping down on his cock brought his release, the condom filling with his hot cum. Coming down from the high, he burried his face into the crook of your neck.

Jotaro heard a strange sound come from you. Raising his head, he saw you with a hand over your mouth, trying to suppress your sobs and tears streaming from your eyes. "What's wrong?" He looked at you with worried eyes. "Are you okay? Was that not-"

"No, Jotaro. I'm wonderful, really. That was just so..." You smiled as you tried to calm your sobbing. What you two did was just...beautiful.

Rolling off of you, Jotaro laid next to you and pulled you on top of him and stroking your sweat soaked hair. "Shhh... Its alright. I'm glad you enjoyed it." Squeezing you tight, he kissed you on the top of your head.  It was almost 4 in the morning, you were both exhausted that you two quickly fell asleep in each other's embrace.

This night was the start of something that you definitely wanted more of in the future.

[pirate-kid2k19-blog]

How i can stay up for 48 hours so easily (dont reccommend, you might start hearing things or seeing things and you might drink an unhealthy amount of coffee or energy drinks, and u will make more stupid decisions):

After the first 24 hours is up, itll be easier to stay awake longer

Its hard to sleep when ur on cocaine 👀👀😂

Im scene and my name is kyle so obviously if i can i drink monster but if i really need energy then i drink a bang

I eat more. Food gives you energy, no matter what, even if its a small amount of energy, its still something. Without sleep, your body will absorb the food's energy instead of getting energy from sleep bc ur not sleeping.

I listen to fast pace music or metal. Music only makes me sleepy if its a song ive heard like 60 times already. Or if its spa music or sumn. So my favorite songs to keep me awake are listed by band here.

I keep moving around if i can. Whether its just fidgeting, cleaning, or simply moving my fingers a lot by typing quicker, i try to move more to keep my blood and energy flowing so i can stay awake easier

Keeping at least one bright light on or facing or using a light that is not white or offwhite. The brighter the better. If u have those decorative light strip things on ur ceiling or the top of ur wall or whatever, blue purple and red keep me awake the easiest. Or rainbow flashing (if you dont like flashing or itll give u a seizure or sumn then there should be a fade option i think. I had a rainbow party bulb that had a fade option. And im gonna get another one friday or saturday, whenever i get my allowance and a trip to walmart or home depot lol. But the fade is easier on the eyes than flashing) and make sure youre exposed to white or offwhite light at least every hour or so bc the color light will temporarily affect your vision if u r in it or look at it for too long.

Stay on your phone, tablet, or computer a lil if you can. The screen will keep u up. But dont stay on it for too long especially in the dark it can fuck up your vision and hurt your eyes. So be careful.

Strong scents. Sniff a strong perfume or if you have it a really strong candle or incense. The stronger, the better. Itll open yyour senses a bit.

Stretch your body or like move or shake a part of it every now and then to tell your body it needs to not fall asleep

I try to do as little as possible during the day to keep the energy for the night, unless i have to go do something important or tiring that day. If i have to do ssomething important or tiring and i know it i try to at least get about 4-6 hours of sleep. But this is abt pulling multiple all nighters in a row lol

If its obvious you didnt sleep at all and people are going to be asking you, heres some excuses:"i think i may be about to start my period or something maybe" "i just woke up tired idk" "i was up a little late last night because i couldnt sleep, and i also kept waking up a lot." "Idk why im so tired to be honest" "my (insert pet) kept me up all night" "i tried to sleep but my phone was blowing up all night and i was too tired to get up snd turn it or the notifications off" "(insert friend) kept me up all night" "i was watching youtube and got distracted, i didnt realize what time it was til it was nearly 3 in the morning" and those are some of the ones i use/have used/think might work

I try and have a lot of caffeine, but not too much. I drink like a cup of coffee, and have soda or smth with or between my meals. I still drink water and stuff, but i drink stuff with caffeine in it when i feel like im about to pass out or something.

Ive got insomnia anyways so i mean... (its undiagnosed but i literally have all the signs/symptoms, so we all feel theres no need to get the doctor to diagnose me since we already know for certain)

I sometimes do drugs yall sorry i failed at being sxe like i was b4 i was 8 😳👊

I talk to my friends if theyre awake. Some live on the other side of the world in like russia n shit so normally its daytime for them lol

I think ive gotten most of it. However if yyou need to stay up to like finish a project or sumn hmu, my dms and asks are open if you need more tips.

[koreanal]

What should I do?

I’ve been feeling a bit down lately. A lot of stuff just piled up all at once, and I’m not really sure how to handle it. A summary of some things on my mind recently: 

1) I’m really glad I met Steven. Even though it was just a one-time meeting, I got to learn a lot from him about what I want in a person and what I want for myself. We were completely different people: he had set goals in mind and I am floating around spontaneously. He discussed his passion for AI research while I vaguely talked about maybe pursuing law but I had no set path in mind. He had a set conviction for being one of the few passionate and good enough to do research in his field and I even ran out of questions to ask him since I barely understood the things that he said. We talked a lot about his choice of choosing either a stable job at Google or continue to do research at his current lab but it doesn’t have a good pay and would probably disappoint his parents. While I won’t get to ask him myself about his decision, I learned today from a friend that he chose to do research. I wonder if I could ever make that choice. 

During that lunch, the conversations flowed, but there were awkward pauses in between that showed the significant knowledge and interest gap that I know was not a good sign. With that, though, he did something expected as he texted me afterwards and explained what I was thinking but was too afraid to admit - that we probably were not the best fit (romantically). I was sad by this comment at first as no one was ever that upfront with me before. I replied with an appreciation for his honesty and I truly did appreciate that. I wish I could be like him.

2) I cried for real a few weeks ago (this happened the same day as when Steven texted me lol) for the first time since literally Senegal because someone told me that someone else told them that I didn’t do well on a case interview, even when that was probably the most confident I had ever been in one. I was told that they voted for me because I had applied several times, and I took that as a comment of pity vote. I hate it when people feel pity for me. I’m not sure if I made the right choice, but in that moment I chose to drop out of the whole process altogether as I felt like that was the only choice where I could still have some respect for myself. I was later told that the comment was taken out of context, but it was already too late. Oh well. :/ Someone in the organization did reach out to me and I ended enrolling in a course taught by her and I appreciate her a lot since it’s probably one of my favorite classes so far.

3) Adding onto the last part, I never feel like I’m good enough. Even when I seemingly do everything “right”, I was not good enough. People keep telling me that it wasn’t my fault and everyone loved talk to me, but then why am I still not good enough? I’m not even sure what to tell myself anymore. I often justified my shortcomings by telling myself that I come from a different background, but I always feel like that’s just an excuse I tell myself to be salty at other people. 

I know that I do good work and try my best at whatever I’m doing since I do have results to back it up with at whatever job I hold. But still I’m constantly in a limbo state of being confident of myself versus feeling like I don’t belong here at all. I hate the competitiveness here at Berkeley because I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing and I’m just afraid to ask because I don’t like to feel like I’m behind, even when I know I’m ahead of many other people.

One thing that struck me when Andrew Chau spoke was that even when he, and everyone around him, knew in the moment that everything he was doing was wrong, he knew it was right in the long run. I had the same thought process when I made the choice to go to Senegal, and it did turn out to be the best decision of my life, but I’m having a hard time trusting myself that it’ll all be okay in the end right now. It’s hard to not doubt myself when a lot of people around me are seemingly doing well right now. This feeling of doubt was magnified today when I got rejected from Haas - though I didn’t care a lot for it I still felt a little bad about myself for not getting in, even when I know that nothing has really changed since Haas wasn’t a part of how I want to achieve my goals originally. Got to reconnect with some cool friends that I met from the cursed UGBA10 class today though and definitely grateful that I got to go through the process.

4) I love my friends. I never expected to find that here at Berkeley - from the people who randomly called me at 2am when I was walking home really sad that one night and made me laugh to those who just sit with me in silence and enjoying each other’s presence while doing work. I hate calling but now I’ve been doing random 3 hour work calls and just been appreciative of having someone there even if no one’s talking. 

I talked with someone recently about how I’m self-conscious and I think that everyone thinks I’m dumb because I can never keep up a conversation about ‘intellectual’ stuff, but she made me realize that the closest friendships I value the most have all been based on troll conversations that often lead to nowhere. I do feel like sometimes I do go overboard with saying stupid stuff though and that have affected different conversations that I do want to have with people because I am unable to articulate myself a lot of times, which is something I’m trying to work to improve!!

[maternalcube]

i did an art summary so now im doing a fic summary. i was tagged by @jamthedingus also!! ive never done one of these before!! lets go!!!

Rest (13106)

Keith & Lance's Island Adventure (20631)

Atlantis (10014 words)

The Way to a Man’s Heart (6858 words)

nobody's business (2096 words)

leave, and take (557 words)

dead girl walking (1661 words)

the course of fate (1039 words)

who ya gonna call (465 words)

come here often? (806 words)

til kingdom come (1950 words)

stars in the sky (pt 2) (5404 words)

a song of falling (630 words)

Eyes to the Sky (3683 words)

Feet on the Ground (4050 words)

Divergence (6669 words)

homecoming (1426 words)

Window of Opportunity (11144 words)

along that wilderness of glass (3801 words)

string theory (2327 words)

Katt Week (1062 words)

The Pining-Plant (3860 words)

at the end of many worlds (21684 words)

you're my home (19646 words)

Believe Me (3177 words)

Starchild (3568 words)

Summer Heat (2285 words)

third time's the charm (5349 words)

Blackbird (59546 words)

The Sixth Planet (9444 words)

all the infinite realities (1197 words)

Total Fics: 31! (plus one i posted anonymously lmao) Total Words: 229999! (except parts of string theory and the sixth planet were actually posted last year... but still, what a number)

more under the cut!

Ship/character breakdown: i didnt filter out my prompt collection or abandoned wips here so /shrug Ship breakdown:

klance - 6 sheith - 5 shance - 5 katt - 4 heith - 3 pallura - 2 and one each of plance, kallura, allurance, shatt, shkatt, kidge, kidgance, and shunk. and keiths parents lol. let it never be said i am not a multishipper.

and i know gen isnt a ship but it tied with klance at 6 (plus whatevers in the prompt collection) which was a surprise

Character breakdown: man if theres a way to get ao3 to show me ALL the stats, i dont know it. but.

keith - 25 (shocker) shiro - 23 lance - 21 pidge - 17 hunk - 16 allura - 12 matt - 12 and then coran and sam are at 4, and zarkon ats 3 and presumably many others are at 3 or less

Characters that had the main focus: well ~9 were from keiths pov, and ~5 each from shiro and lances povs. i think i also had ~5 from multiple points of view. its safe to say that keith has my heart tho lol

Specifics:

Best/worst title? Best title: i still like “at the end of many worlds.” i weirdly still like “Blackbird” too even if it has nothing to do with anything... Worst title: “Rest.” :/ also like all of the abandoned wips bc i didnt care. and “Keith & Lance's Island Adventure.″ some of my zine fic titles were also... bad. im bad at titles.

Best/worst first line?

Best: Keith & Lance's Island Adventure. ok the title is bad but this line? this really sets the tone for whole fic. you know what youre getting yourself into here.

When Pidge invited Keith to a fully-funded graduation party aboard the Holt family boat (“the smaller one, anyway,” she’d said), this is not exactly what he'd pictured: three of them standing on a wobbly dock, packed bags at their feet, sky cloudy and gray, while the Holt siblings stand on a little ledge off the back of the boat and deny entry.

Worst: ive got two for this lol

at the end of many worlds: even i have to read this a couple times to figure out what i was trying to say. at least you know youre in for pain...

Keith’s mother shows up to interrupt movie night often enough that, this time, Keith almost doesn’t realize anything’s wrong. Almost, because she’s silhouetted by the movie, but she’s clutching her arm and panting for breath, and in the thin edge of light around her he sees a wet and vibrant red.

Divergence: because all your friends being dead is EXACTLY like losing at dodgeball. yeah, theres a reason i abandoned this one.

Hunk always hated playing dodgeball. Not because he was bad at it--though he was--but because he always ended up the last one standing, and therefore the only target for the entire other team. It was due to a tendency to hang unnoticed in the back, he knew, but that didn't change the sickening, empty feeling of looking around and realizing there's no one left but him, and there's no way he can win. Only wait for the inevitable.

This, Hunk decides, is a lot like that, only, like, a billion times worse.

Best/worst last line?

Best: The Pining-Plant. there are a few others that were cute too but this one is also good out of context so

And then the pod swishes open and he's scrambling to catch Pidge as she stumbles out. She clings to his arms to steady herself and his heart swells.

"Falling for me again, huh?" he asks, and she groans loudly.

"Let me go, I'm getting back in the pod," she says, and he laughs. He doesn't let go, and neither does she.

Worst: if im bad at titles, im worse at endings. most are bad. i suspect the ending to “Rest” is terrible but i cant bring myself to even open that shit again so: Believe Me. if weather were a recurring theme in this fic, itd be fine, but as is its just... a weird note to end the fic on lmao

Hunk rocks back on his heels. "We aren't counting this as our official first date, right?"

"I dunno," Keith says, and now he smiles at the rain instead of frowning. It shows no sign of easing up, but whatever—they're soaked anyway. "This seems pretty good to me."

“...All right.” If nothing else, it’ll make a good story. And, Hunk had to admit—he’s pretty happy with how it’s turned out, rain and all.

But next time, he's double-checking the forecast, just in case.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

more than i expected! considering ive been in grad school all year!! i wrote about the same amount wordcount-wise in 2017 which i spent only half in school so. idk how i managed it.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

the anonymous fic was a surprise but im not gonna talk about that lol. otherwise... nah, its all been my usual stuff.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

blackbird, probably. i like working on that one. summer heat was also fun, id sort of forgotten about it bc it was a zine fic but coming back to it, i really liked it. likewise with third time’s the charm. and i like t6p a lot even if i kinda hate drawing for it :’)

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

depends on your metric. window of opportunity has the most kudos, keith and lance’s island adventure has the most hits, and t6p has the most comments and subscriptions. 

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

AT THE END OF MANY WORLDS. oh man i killed myself over that fic. it was important to me. but i think the mcd scared everyone off :’)

Story that could have been better?

i realize “all of them” is kind of a cop out answer but like

Sexiest story?

i have written nothing sexy, ever, in my whole life

Saddest story?

i mean, ateomw. considering all the death. blackbird def has its moments too.

Most fun?

i feel like i answered this in the favorite story q lmao. you’re my home also gets a shoutout, that thing was,, super self-indulgent lmao. and id be lying if i said i didnt have fun with parts of ateomw, even if its mostly sad.

Story with single sweetest moment?

man i write a lot of fluff but so much of you’re my home is just tooth-rotting. heres part of the proposal scene lmao

"Lance!" Keith yelps, barely rescuing the ring from falling into the sand with them. Lance pushes himself up on his arms, silhouetted by the sun and glowing with it.

"Really?" he asks breathlessly.

"Yeah," Keith says, and maybe he should've prepared something to say, that's a thing people do, right? Hell, he's winging it. "I know we can't stay here on Earth forever, 'cause we're paladins, and there's still stuff out there we gotta do. And I know you probably want to stay because this is your home—but you're my home, and if we gotta go, at least you'll have me, good or bad." He grins crookedly. "Or rocket science. Whatever happens, I'll be there."

Hardest story to write?

well t6p gets a shoutout, but its not the writing thats the hard part for that. uhhh ive struggled with parts of blackbird. i remember k&l’s island adventure giving me a LOT of trouble, i think i posted late lol

Easiest/most fun story to write?

anything short uhhh for all the infinite realities, i kind of just sat down the other day (actually i was in bed but) and was like “im gonna write this” and then in the morning i just sat down and wrote it in one go. i dunno if id call it fun, but it was easy. t6p is super fun to write but, as mentioned, drawing it sucks.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

no... my perceptions probably have shifted but not due to anything i wrote in particular. i did talk myself into liking allurance with a prompt fill, though, but im not sure that was 2018...

Most overdue story?

all the infinite realities lmao. at the end of many worlds needed that happy ending. and another shoutout to t6p, because thats been going on over a year and im still nowhere.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

does posting my abandoned wips count? ive still got some of those hanging around... blackbird was a bit of a risk bc my last longfic was written while i was unemployed and out of school, so like i had the time for it, and now i kinda dont. still chugging tho. ateomw b/c of all the death but it turns out i really like writing whump woops. and writing any sort of kissing always feels like a risk bc i suck at it but im getting better lol... i hope...

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

write more! finish things! do more sheith! i really want to work on this sheith longfic i came up with the other day... but i want to get blackbird over with first.

Tagging: eh! do it if you want to!

[admirablemushroom]

chat with a stranger

[7:43 PM] ttd29: Tell me more about him [7:43 PM] ttd29: What is it that you like so much about this guy who doesnt respond to your needs? [7:43 PM] Theodore: ok so we met by playing dota2 together [7:44 PM] Theodore: he was a very nice guy who didn't scold me for feeding the enemies [7:44 PM] ttd29: Ok great start

[7:44 PM] Theodore: so for some reason i asked him his fb and we started to become friends [7:45 PM] Theodore: at the time i was dating a girl [7:45 PM] Theodore: i sent a few memes to him [7:45 PM] Theodore: u know, from r/suddenlygay, etc [7:46 PM] ttd29: Wait you’re bi? [7:46 PM] Theodore: you can say so... [7:46 PM] ttd29: Lol interesting [7:46 PM] ttd29: Anyway go on [7:47 PM] Theodore: i usually go by being gay in order to avoid surprise moments like this [7:47 PM] Theodore: anyway [7:47 PM] Theodore: we got closer and closer [7:48 PM] Theodore: i even asked him how to kiss a girl before i got that girl [7:48 PM] Theodore: then one day he was comfortable enof to admit that he's bi [7:49 PM] Theodore: and i eventually dumped my ex-gf bc i was an asshole [7:50 PM] Theodore: in my defense i felt tired to fake my masculinity [7:50 PM] ttd29: No need to defend yourself [7:50 PM] ttd29: At least you didnt cheat [7:50 PM] Theodore: then a few days later i met him in a coffee shop [7:50 PM] Theodore: that was our first meeting [7:51 PM] Theodore: and we started hanging out more often [7:51 PM] Theodore: after 2 meetings, we became boyfriends [7:53 PM] Theodore: ok after this point there was no major event [7:53 PM] Theodore: he also gave me a book 'call me by ur name' [7:53 PM] ttd29: How long did you guys date? [7:54 PM] Theodore: in the book, he signed "you're the best thing that ever happened to me" [7:54 PM] Theodore: the book has been given away to one of my friends [7:55 PM] Theodore: i can go on about how disgusting that book is but maybe another time [7:55 PM] Theodore: (not his fault, Andre aciman's fault) [7:55 PM] Theodore: then i took a 6-month exchange study [7:55 PM] Theodore: so we maintained our communication online [7:56 PM] Theodore: after getting back to vn, we went out together again [7:56 PM] Theodore: then we had arguments about this and that, i remember i was a pretty rude guy and i raised my tone a lot of times.... [7:57 PM] Theodore: must've been tiring for him to go thru all that [7:58 PM] Theodore: at the peak of the conflict, one day we were arguing about something i dont remember but pretty sure i started first [7:58 PM] Theodore: he left in the middle of the convo to play video games [7:58 PM] Theodore: which i was very angry and sad [7:59 PM] Theodore: but he also quit the match to talk to me [7:59 PM] Theodore: and u know, i was not a considerate person, i usually started a fight and made a fuss about anything [8:00 PM] Theodore: and when im stressed, i write a lot [8:00 PM] Theodore: and when i write a lot, whoever read it gets stressed too [8:01 PM] Theodore: ok i see u went offline lol, prolly u got stressed too [8:02 PM] ttd29: Lol relax [8:03 PM] ttd29: I just took a shower [8:04 PM] ttd29: And then after that what happened? [8:05 PM] Theodore: wait me, i need to finish the monstrosity i cooked [8:06 PM] ttd29: =))))) [8:06 PM] ttd29: Oke [8:20 PM] Theodore: ok so at one point i just straight up told him dont talk to me anymore [8:20 PM] Theodore: which i very regret til this day [8:21 PM] Theodore: after that text, he never answered me again [8:21 PM] Theodore: he didn't respond to anything [8:21 PM] Theodore: basically he ghosted me [8:21 PM] ttd29: For a year??? [8:22 PM] Theodore: yes [8:22 PM] Theodore: i had been through a lot of confusion, anger, self hate, regret, depression, you name it [8:22 PM] ttd29: And he never talked to you again until now? [8:23 PM] Theodore: i kept messaging him for months, until July last year i told him this would be my last text (it wasn't), which he also didnt read [8:24 PM] Theodore: and a few days ago my depression hit me so bad i had to bring up that shit again [8:24 PM] Theodore: this time i talked with a mutual friend of us [8:25 PM] Theodore: along the lines i told my fren that 'the only reason i haven't commit suicide is because my mom would be sad if i did' [8:25 PM] Theodore: my fren told my ex that i wanted to commit suicide... [8:25 PM] Theodore: -.- [8:25 PM] ttd29: Quào [8:25 PM] ttd29: Okay [8:26 PM] ttd29: Great friend [8:26 PM] ttd29: =)) [8:26 PM] ttd29: After that then what happened [8:27 PM] Theodore: anyway, i also sent him a few words that said 'i dont understand how things went wrong but im sure whatever my mistakes are, i am not deserved to be ghosted for a year like this' [8:27 PM] Theodore: after i filed a request to delete my fb account [8:27 PM] Theodore: so i told my fren find some way to make him read my last message before the account got deleted completely [8:28 PM] Theodore: actually he completed what i asked him to do, but the way he did it was a bit questionable wasn't it [8:28 PM] Theodore: in some way, he distorted what i said about suicide [8:29 PM] ttd29: Yeah that was totally not cool [8:29 PM] Theodore: anyway, my ex sent me an email to apologize bc i blocked him on all media [8:29 PM] Theodore: before i received the email, i felt like i was reborn [8:30 PM] Theodore: that i could finally give up the past and move on to the new chapter [8:30 PM] Theodore: but then... the email =.= [8:30 PM] Theodore: i just wanted him to read, i didn't want an answer anymore [8:30 PM] Theodore: it is too late for an answer [8:31 PM] Theodore: anyway i got stressed again and my emails sent to him got longer and longer [8:32 PM] Theodore: he eventually responded that he was super tired with this way of talking of mine and that's one of the reasons he gave up the relationship [8:32 PM] Theodore: i guess he had a point, i sometimes feel like im overdramatic about things [8:32 PM] Theodore: and yes when im stressed i'd write a lot and talk a lot [8:32 PM] ttd29: Yeah well [8:33 PM] ttd29: Now where are you guys? [8:33 PM] ttd29: Still exchanging emails? [8:33 PM] Theodore: so fast forward a few emails, i got friendlier and finally connected to him on discord [8:34 PM] Theodore: i dont really use discord but im not ready to reconnect with him on any other platform [8:34 PM] Theodore: so this is the choice [8:35 PM] ttd29: And you guys are talking normally now? [8:35 PM] Theodore: i guess??? idk, i dont feel that way [8:35 PM] Theodore: but, as i said, his mom is going thru cancer treatment [8:35 PM] Theodore: so he must be very busy and, in his words, he did not have the mental capacity for this [8:36 PM] Theodore: so yeah, although i really want to get back, i still feel like im chasing him [8:36 PM] ttd29: Okay got it [8:37 PM] Theodore: id been already texting to a ghost for almost a year, now i still have to try to get his attention [8:37 PM] Theodore: but [8:37 PM] Theodore: i cant blame him because who knows what his situation right now [8:37 PM] ttd29: Was about to ask why do you want to get back together but realize that’s a redundant question lol [8:38 PM] Theodore: here [8:38 PM] Theodore: also cuz he's cute so it's not that easy :frowning: [8:38 PM] ttd29: =))) [8:38 PM] ttd29: Lol [8:39 PM] ttd29: Cute guys are abundant out there waiting for you [8:39 PM] ttd29: Anyway [8:39 PM] Theodore: just enjoy my awkward humor amidst a stressful story [8:39 PM] ttd29: I kind of understand what you’re going through [8:39 PM] ttd29: Enough to know that you wont be rational right now lol [8:39 PM] Theodore: ... [8:39 PM] Theodore: thats disappointing [8:40 PM] ttd29: If i tell you he’s not the right guy for you, would you suddenly stop wanting him? [8:40 PM] ttd29: I don’t think so [8:41 PM] Theodore: that's what u think [8:41 PM] Theodore: this afternoon u said something that was quite impressing [8:41 PM] Theodore: but now it's not cuz i forgot [8:41 PM] ttd29: :slight_smile: [8:41 PM] ttd29: I said [8:41 PM] ttd29: It’s okay to miss someone [8:42 PM] Theodore: here [8:42 PM] ttd29: But you need to be rational enough to know whether they are good for you [8:42 PM] ttd29: That’s the more important part of the equation [8:43 PM] Theodore: it's so pity to give up such a beautiful story like that, i literally could turn it into a wattpad series which makes fangirls cry out every night [8:43 PM] Theodore: what we had together was so romantic and any relationship which came after was incomparable [8:44 PM] ttd29: This right here my fren [8:44 PM] ttd29: Is why every relationship comes after are not comparable [8:45 PM] ttd29: You havent fully dealt with your shit yet so everyone else are just rebounds [8:45 PM] ttd29: You think they would cure you, but you need to cure yourself first [8:45 PM] Theodore: i never found any friends that were so compatible with me like him, let alone a lover [8:46 PM] Theodore: for real, if i had great friends, i could have just turned to my friends and never given a shit about him [8:46 PM] Theodore: but i've always been a lonely person [8:47 PM] ttd29: Do you ever think [8:47 PM] ttd29: You’re so consumed by your pain, that you’re not letting your friends in? [8:47 PM] Theodore: ive been always like this since kindergarten [8:48 PM] ttd29: Like what? [8:48 PM] Theodore: alone [8:49 PM] ttd29: Lol it’s all connected together now [8:50 PM] ttd29: You’re always alone. So once you found someone who cares, you put wayyy too much pressure on that person to care for you [8:50 PM] Theodore: wow [8:50 PM] ttd29: So they cracked [8:51 PM] ttd29: Yeah [8:51 PM] ttd29: At least that’s the vibe I got from our conversations [8:52 PM] ttd29: And then you never really let anyone in to care for you after that person left. [8:52 PM] ttd29: I’m sure your friends really care about you. But you don’t tell them how they can help you so they must be frustrated as well [8:52 PM] ttd29: Hence the suicidal distortion thingy [8:53 PM] ttd29: Maybe they were concerned and wanted to help, but didnt know how to [8:54 PM] Theodore: hmmm [8:54 PM] Theodore: w8 me, im on a phone call w mum [8:54 PM] Theodore: brb [8:54 PM] ttd29: Oke [9:12 PM] Theodore: you are right about the whole thing [9:12 PM] Theodore: i wouldn't say i didn't let anyone care me after he left [9:13 PM] Theodore: it's just hard for me to connect with someone on that deep level [9:13 PM] Theodore: i used to be quite clingy around friends who i found compatible with me [9:14 PM] Theodore: but at the end of the day, i think it's important to know that they also have their own lives [9:14 PM] Theodore: so i dont really have friends anymore, cuz i feel like im bothering them [9:15 PM] ttd29: What is this deep level that you were able to connect with the guy? [9:15 PM] Theodore: yeah i have best friends here and there but i dont find myself comfortable as i was with my ex [9:17 PM] Theodore: he's both a best friend and a lover; we shared a lot of hobbies and favorite topics, ... and also i felt like he would always be there to lend me an ear, unlike a normal friend [9:17 PM] Theodore: which has been proved to be incorrect lol [9:17 PM] ttd29: Sounds like you need a hug lol [9:18 PM] Theodore: i really appreciate that u are staying here to listen to me [9:18 PM] Theodore: and u gave some very interesting insights that no one else did [9:18 PM] Theodore: prolly becuz they didn't care enof, or they just wanted to quickly conclude my problems so they could go to sleep [9:19 PM] ttd29: Haha i’m flattered [9:19 PM] ttd29: Idk you just sound like you really need to talk this out [9:20 PM] Theodore: and now that we're connected on discord, i kept getting mixed signals from him [9:20 PM] ttd29: I believe being able to talk about our problems always help [9:20 PM] Theodore: i'm a bit obsessed to discord recently and i found myself waiting for a dm from him [9:20 PM] Theodore: :neutral_face: [9:21 PM] ttd29: You know what your problem is? [9:21 PM] Theodore: i dont want to... you know... after all the shit ive been thru, i now have to continue waiting for him [9:21 PM] ttd29: You never really get a full closure from him [9:22 PM] ttd29: I mean he just ghosted you out of the blue. Then he only came back and apologized when he thought you were going to committ suicide [9:22 PM] Theodore: yes, please continue [9:22 PM] ttd29: You never got a sincere apology [9:23 PM] Theodore: you are right... [9:23 PM] ttd29: That’s why you’re so hung up [9:23 PM] ttd29: And you got your own problems to fix to [9:23 PM] ttd29: Starting from your “clinginess” [9:24 PM] ttd29: He’s not going to fix that problem for you [9:24 PM] ttd29: And if you guys got back together, you will eventually break up again, because the root of the problem was never resolved [9:24 PM] Theodore: you are right [9:25 PM] ttd29: I don’t want to tell you what to do. But you surely deserve an in-person, sincere apology from him, for leaving you in the worst way possible [9:26 PM] Theodore: i suppose [9:26 PM] Theodore: but he's in an emotional distress, so i cant really blame him, or expect anything from him [9:26 PM] Theodore: im thinking about ending this come-back plan from my side [9:27 PM] Theodore: i think he wont give a shit lol, because he also said we would still break up if none of us changed [9:28 PM] ttd29: Yeah so if he is aware of that [9:28 PM] Theodore: i really thought i had improved myself as a person after all the regret, but now that we found out that i still have a tendency to cling to people i care about and that makes them suffocated [9:28 PM] ttd29: And if he really did love you and respect you enough, he would understand you need this, Theodore. [9:29 PM] ttd29: This is your problem that you need to work on improving [9:29 PM] Theodore: need what? an apology? [9:29 PM] ttd29: Yes [9:29 PM] ttd29: A sincere apology [9:29 PM] ttd29: Not an “i only apologize because i think you’re going to commit suicide” [9:30 PM] Theodore: you are right, the moment i knew that was the reason he apologized, i was shocked and disappointed [9:30 PM] Theodore: shall i keep waiting for anything from him? [9:30 PM] ttd29: Just text him that [9:31 PM] Theodore: no, i dont want to [9:31 PM] ttd29: :))) if i were there, I would snatch the phone from you and text him myself [9:31 PM] Theodore: u seem like a cool friend to be around :)) [9:31 PM] ttd29: You said he was mature enough to know it’s not a good idea to get back together [9:32 PM] ttd29: So be it [9:32 PM] ttd29: But he must admit he was wrong [9:32 PM] ttd29: Wrong to treat you like that [9:32 PM] Theodore: i also asked him for an in-person meeting but he declined becuz he's busy with his mom [9:33 PM] Theodore: i think it will take a long time for him to get over that, and by that time he will have forgotten about me probably lol [9:33 PM] ttd29: Or via text, or via email or whatever. [9:33 PM] ttd29: Get him to apologize sincerely [9:34 PM] Theodore: he did apologize me multiple times [9:34 PM] ttd29: Okay fine [9:34 PM] ttd29: If you’re think they’re sincere then they are [9:34 PM] Theodore: even on discord, one time he asked me how i was doing and i told him about my depression and he apologized [9:34 PM] ttd29: But if they are not then you should get one [9:34 PM] ttd29: Omg no that’s not sincere [9:34 PM] ttd29: :slight_smile: [9:34 PM] Theodore: ??? its not [9:35 PM] Theodore: how do i know [9:35 PM] ttd29: Why must his apology always be connected to your mental state [9:35 PM] Theodore: he's not capable of writing dancing words like me [9:35 PM] Theodore: idk?? [9:35 PM] Theodore: so it's not sincere... [9:36 PM] ttd29: A sincere apology should be when you guys are both in normal state [9:36 PM] ttd29: And you know that he’s really sorry for what he did [9:37 PM] ttd29: Not just because he thinks saying sorry would make you not depressed/want to commit suicide/etc [9:37 PM] Theodore: got it [9:37 PM] Theodore: aww fren thanks for helping me realize it [9:38 PM] Theodore: maybe i still have feelings for him and want us to be back so i did put the bar quite low for an apology [9:38 PM] ttd29: Lol I need to consider becoming a mental therapy [9:39 PM] ttd29: Yeah to be frank I don’t think getting back together is a good idea [9:39 PM] ttd29: You need to deal with your emotional baggage first [9:39 PM] Theodore: okay [9:39 PM] Theodore: so no waiting for him [9:39 PM] ttd29: Yeah!!!! [9:39 PM] ttd29: Work on yourself [9:40 PM] Theodore: ok... [9:40 PM] Theodore: haizzz... [9:40 PM] Theodore: such a beautiful story

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet. 

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs. 

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between. 

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense. 

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them. 

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’. 

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions. 

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story. 

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints. 

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him. 

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol. 

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

[dykedykegooses]

i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ‘peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

:)

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W  C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

no

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

[boqvistsbabe]

storytime (kind of) mother frickers

so i like this guy. this guy that is literally my best guy friend and i have known him for three years, almost four. and like every single other guy i have liked i knew around the time when i met them that i was probably gonna like them at some point. so yeah whatever i liked them now i don’t. i didn’t like anyone for the longest time and then randomly i like started feeling like i like this guy (my friend) lets call him uh Adam (tbh that is just about as far from his name as you could get lol) and like this hit me out of nowhere. because like basically when we met we friend-zoned each other without having to do so, which makes no sense whatsoever but who cares. and like this whole idea of this started last school year when his cousin randomly walked into the classroom i was staying in after school to work on memorization for some things and it was near Valentine’s Day and he was like anyone wanna be my cousin’s gf and me, knowing that this is Adam’s cousin said no why and he explained why basically and then that was the start of him calling me literally every single time he saw me Adam’s gf. I denied every single time and this went on for the rest of the year. and like one time on the after school bus Adam’s cousin got on before him and sat down and when Adam walked on to the bus his cousin said that his gf was on the bus and he (and i know that he actually did this bc i looked up right at this getting ready to turn around and yell at his cousin) Adam looked right at me and his cousin said “he even looked dead at you” and then the rest of the busride was his cousin trying to get us together by asking me question (like “do you like guys that can sing” “well duh” “do you like guys with abs” “well duh”) and then he started singin “I Wanna Dance With Somebody for no reason and I finshed the song for him and he said “see look you can sing too you guys would be great together” (and that opens another can of worms that is not in this story) and i said but i really can’t and he was like but you realy can. and during all of this Adam said nothing to either of us. and around a few weeks after that i started liking somebody so i was still like whatever and nothing more happened last year basically. and like then this year came along and i didnt like that other guy anymore and like was really focused on like my friends and shit like that. like then two of his other friends (that im kinda friends with but not really) started like suggesting people that they could set me up with for hoco (the two friends and i have the same bio class together and we sat near each other at the time) and i would decline every single guy and then they said Adam’s name and I was like no we’re friends (because at the time i still didn’t like him) and then the boys proceeded to say stuff like “you do like him” “look you’re blushing” things like that (something they do not realize was that when i get angry or frustrated or whatever i tend to turn red or at least pink) and then one of them threw a ship name for us out there and then it was a thing and like then he proceeded (when i did not answer them anymore) to sit in the empty chair next to me and go “aw please don’t be mad at me I don’t want you mad at me” (i wasn’t that mad and we were all having fun and he was joking) and i proceeded to ignore him and he got closer and said the same thing (also if this had happened about one and a halfish years ago i wouldve been freaking out because i used to like him, a lot) and i said i wasn’t mad and we were fine. until he (when we were going around the room and grading other people’s papers) when i came back to my seat and said something about my paper he was like “oh that’s your paper” and i said “yeah it literally has my name on it” he walks over takes my paper and writes something on it and ten gives me my paper back and he wrote Adam and I’s ship name in marker on my paper. at least i didn’t have to turn that in or i mightve killed him. and so like whatever didn’t like him still just confused on why everybody (including some of my other really close friends) think we should get together. and then like i feel like it was a slow realization of how amazing he is (bc like lemme be honest here he is really sweet and funny and like everything that the others weren’t which sounds cliche but like ugh i just cannot describe how much i wanted the other guys i have liked to be like him)  and like i told two of my other best friends and they think he is nice. and like lately him and i are around each other more and stuff and we talk even more than before and mess with each other and stuff. and then one of my other friends randomly asks me before she leaves the lunchroom if i like him and i say no bc like this is all weird for me and shit and she says okay and walks away even with me asking her why she asked and her not telling me. and then i get my other friend to ask her through text and she wont answer. and the other day he took my hair tie thingy (idk what it is called) one of these: 

after i was messing with it and said that i wasn’t going to get it back. then wears it the rest of the day and cool im not freaking out internally at all. and there is no way people wont connect that it is mine bc it is just one of the clear ones and my hair is blueish at the ends so it died the hair tie thingy and im the only one with that color hair. and then we go on a five day break from school and i find out from my friend why my other friend asked that. and she asked because SHE THOUGHT WE WERE DATING! i obviously am so fine with that even though we aren’t. but i was like why did she think that and my friend was like bc y’all are always together and stuff. and then we get to today and so i find out that he lost the other one and then he took the one i had today (which i am fine with this i have multiple and he asked to make sure it was okay and i said it was he then asked like two more times just to make sure) and then i took his pencil and since i wouldn’t give it back he took my hoodie and put the hood on his head on wore it like that until i gave him his pencil back. and then like there is this thing he can do which is popping the joints closer to the end of your finger and i can’t do that but he did it to my fingers the other day (and as i am typing this i realize how weird it sounds) and now it has become our thing kind of. and like i love it. bc it involves him wrapping his hand around mine. so yeah love it. and then i proceed to mess with him for the rest of the hour. and yeah. and then when i get to lunch later i see him with his friends and like i can see the hair tie thing on his wrist and it brings me so much joy idk why but it does. and then i was talking to my friend and was like idk why people think we are dating and she said that it is because we basically are just not officially. and then i was like what hold the phone and back it up. and like she went over that again and said that quite a few people have thought we were dating in the past and had asked her if Adam and I were dating and she had said no obviously and i was like how do i not know this. and she said bc i never told you and then t=she proceeded to tell me how her herself has shipped him and I for quite a while but did it on the DL and now her and my friend that asked if i liked him are shipping us on the DL and my friend that asked is gonna ask him if he likes me bc he doesnt know how close we are and will be more likely to tell her than me or my other friend. and like i know he is gonna say know and like i want him to say that he does. but like he wont. and even if he does there are some problems like i can’t date yet which like has never been a problem till now, even when i had my 6th grade “boyfriend” my mom didn’t know and i didn’t care bc i was fine with a relationship on the DL with him but Adam is someone i want a real relationship with you know. like i don’t want it hidden. and i want ground rules obviously and my friend said that i could just do what she did and just talk to her mom about it and present the situation very adult like and stuff like she did. which like i can and my mom knows him so it might work. but then there is the fact that he doesn’t like me so it doesn’t matter but like there are signs that point towards him actually liking me but im not that stupid. he has so many female friends that are cooler and prettier and smarter and so just more better than me so like why would he like me. idk what to do. this is like really crazy for me rn and i dont wanna lose my friend so yay.

that was really boring sorry but i needed an outlet and idk what to do but if yall have any advice please tell me

[gwisingegooli]

i love ucsb!!!! i can tell the campus is gonna be so good for my mental health already

furnished my room w lots of stuffed animals and plants. thought i brought too many stuffed animals (my carrot, tigger pillow pet, coco the shiba, chico the duck, finn and jake, puppycat, mr meeseeks, pink yoshi) but heck no i didnt!! impulse bought a fuckin pokemon pillow but CANT STOP WONT STOP and it has dedenne on it who is the cutest

dont know what to put on my walls but might just not bc my konmari ways tell me that itll stress me out and i dont want to deal w like falling posters and stuff

my roommates seem like v normal cool chill people (idk what i expected LOL). my one roommate y i zel said "bamboozled" so i was like ok she good LOL. her one friend made an off color joke giving me the wrong name and saying he was trans but she was like uhh yeah he was joking (and was like judgin her friend) so it just felt v normal and californian yaknow what i mean

gotta prep for lotsa small talk TT

and i realized (v late) that im like on the older side here! i sometimes get intimidated by "cool" older senpais (kakkoi!!) but since im the cool older senpai i have not been feelin any anxiety. sometimes im like self conscious if im being weird but literally just gotta chill.

my roommate hasnt moved in yet but i hope shes cooool!!!!

if i get lonely imma hit up ameera (..or john lau LOOL) or even solo explore the beach and all the campus! or even force befriend the league of legends club people LOL esp since its worlds rn

i should fuckin sign up for classes lol all my classes r major restricted!! def my bad for not getting on everything sooner but lotsa small mishaps that made it hard ;_; itll be easier to do everything while on campus anyways cause i gotta talk to all the peoples and the offices

rn in LA w my mom but we're not doin NUTHIN which is what happens hangin w my mom if her friends dont bring any kids -_- i might just wander around w jean soon bc whatever. at least i get free bougie food lul