#just reinforced my love for the ocean

[meeshimi]

i asked my sisters to take candid photos of me during our trip to hawaii

what I expected:

vs.

what I got:

[wonderlandwalker]

Living Nightmares | Finnick Odair x Reader

THG Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox

Summary: Finnick wakes up to find you slipping away from him. As he tries to get help, he loses track of you, only to find you in the hands of the careers. The situation seems to get worse before he finally thinks he's at peace, but you're there to remind him to keep going.

Content Warnings/Tags: angst, a whole lot of it, fluff at the end though I'm not a monster, mentions of blood, hypothermia, violence

Word Count: 3.4k

A/n: I've been obsessing over our boy Finnick so here's a fic full of angst, because apparently that's the only thing my brain can think of. Dividers by @chilumitos

This wasn’t exactly where they had thought they’d be at the moment. It all started during the second day in the arena, they had the allies, they had the supplies, and they thought they had the advantage, but worry took over as they started losing sight of each other in a chase, and they tried to find the others, only to end up in a new part of the arena. It was dark, cold, and they had lost their supplies, and there was no food or water source nearby.

Neither of them was really to blame. It had been a long day, and the surroundings didn't inspire much hope. So, both of them had fallen asleep on some of the leaves that covered the ground. The cold air was still blowing around them.

But at least he wasn't alone, two sets of minds were better than one, at least he still had you.

The rising sun urged him to open his eyes, and he stretched out his arms, which had become stiff from the cold. It was only when he sat up and ran his hand through the hair that had fallen in your face that he noticed how cold you were. He quickly got up from behind you, pulling you into his lap, tilting your head up a little. Your skin was almost as white as snow, and your lips were starting to turn blue. The colour that once held so many fond memories of the ocean and the sky, now being replaced by fear and panic. He shook you lightly, trying to wake up as if you were just sleeping deeply. When you didn't react, he called out for you, his voice laced with concern.

“Y/n? Come on love, wake up.” But the only movement that came from you was your arm falling from where it was, the harsh thud to the ground reinforcing his fears.

“No, no come on. This isn't happening, wake up” Finnick had thought about this happening, how could he not when it was the basis for most of his nightmares? But he always woke up from those to find you resting in his arms, your soft breathing comforting him back to sleep. This time he didn't wake up, and he didn't hear your breathing to soothe him. He checked your pulse for a heartbeat, but all he could feel was his own heart racing in his chest. He looked around him as if there would be someone there to help, but you were alone.

He started CPR to try and quicken up your pulse, to get you to breathe again, and while he knew you probably couldn't hear him, he had to try.

“Do you remember when you came back from your first games, I really thought that had been the scariest moment of my life. When I survived my own, at least I knew you were alright at home. When you came back, I thought it was over, I wanted to see the positive side, but you seemed so weak, and having watched you, I knew how bad of a state you were in. It tore me apart to have to see it and not be able to do anything." His voice cracks a little, his head starting to swim with more thoughts.

"I won’t do this without you. You can't leave me now, not like this." He pushes a little harder on your chest while doing compression. He's sure if he does so anymore, he will crack one of your ribs.

"I imagined us getting married. I imagined proposing to you by the lake, that little spot you showed me, I know how happy you were in the middle of the field of dandelions. Every worry seemed to slip away from you, like a little hideaway from the horrors of the world. That's how you make me feel every time I'm with you. It's like there is no one in the whole world except us. And I know how cliche that sounds, I know you never liked cliches, but it's true, you are my world, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you.”

Right as he was about to pour out more of his heart to you, he heard a noise coming from the distance. The steps were too heavy to be coming from a small animal, but his instincts also told him that whoever it was, they weren't there to help.

He knew he had two options. try and fight off whatever was coming while carrying the love of his life with him. Or keep you hidden, try and fight while distracting them away from you and coming back when the coast was clear. He tried his best to hide you underneath a blanket of leaves, making you disappear into the surroundings, he gave you a light kiss on the forehead, scared to get too close and feel how cold your skin still was. He heard the footsteps come closer.

“Just hold on a little longer darling, I’ll be back before you know it.”

And so he turned around, grabbing his trident a little harder than normal, and came face to face with one of the careers. Finnick's muscles were still sore from the night, but he was ready to run. He had to get away from here before the tribute started to wonder if he had been alone.

He ran towards a clearing, making the tribute follow behind him. He ran to a split in the path, which gave him two options, left or right. He heard rustling coming not far behind him, and his instincts told him to go right, so he did. He ran for a while until he reached a dead end, the line of trees becoming so dense he couldn't get through anymore. The tribute was still on his heels, and Finnick had to think fast again. He saw a body of water nearby and decided that diving in, despite the creatures that might be in it, and the chilling temperature it must be, would be better than certain death. He knew he would be able to outswim the career, it luckily being one of his strengths. He started to run towards it, and when he got to the edge, he jumped like his life depended on it, but it still wasn't his life he was worried about, it was yours.

Once he got to the other side of the water, he looked back, and the tribute was nowhere to be seen, probably having decided that the risk of the wild waters wasn't worth it. Finnick wasn't thinking about the relief of escape, all he was thinking about was how much time you had left.

It was by some sort of miracle he found Peeta, Johanna and the others on a small beach nearby, and he practically ran straight into them at full speed without even announcing himself. Once the others had realized it was Finnick, and he was not a danger to them, they calmed down, but the state of despair he was in did alarm them soon after

Peeta looked up at him, he was completely out of breath from how fast he had run.

“Sit down Finnick, try and catch your breath” He told him, while placing an assuring hand on his shoulder.

“There’s no time to sit down, I need to go back.” He spoke with such certainty it startled the others.

“Go back where?”

“ To the clearing, I don't know where it was, but I remember how to get there.”

“Why do you need to go back?” Johanna asked him, seeming confused.

“Because y/n is still there, and she doesn't have long”

The others didn't need to hear more, and started to pack up the things they had with them to follow him.

When they had made it back, Johanna was in front with Finnick, she wouldn't care to admit it out loud, but she was worried about you as well.

“Where?” She asked him

“Over by the cut-down stumps, next to the maple and the oak tree.” Finnick had memorized the entire area in order not to lose track of you, and with Johanna being from the lumber district, he knew this clue would be the most helpful to her.

“There’s no one here” she said, looking back at him frustrated.

“There has to be, she was right there when I left.”

“She might have been, but unless hypothermia comes with the power to turn invisible, she’s gone.”

“Well, she couldn't have left by herself” His mind was reeling with all the possibilities, each one more horrible than the last.

“Well then who took her, there are no drag marks, it wasn't any kind of mutt.”

“I don't know, maybe-” his eyes fell to the mud next to the fallen leaves, the ground here was in permafrost, it couldn't have come from here. When the tribute started chasing him he had already put distance between where you were and where he was going. They must have gone back after he went into the water to try and see if he had any supplies, and have found you. But your body wasn't here, that was a good thing, that means you must be alive, why else would they have taken you?

“They’re at the swamp”

“How are you so sure?”

“The career, he was alone when he chased me, he has to have set up camp somewhere with the others, it can't be far from here otherwise he wouldn't have carried her.”

“Alright, but we don't even know where that is, the swamp must be massive, they could be anywhere, we can’t just run in without a plan.” Johanna tried to reason, looking over to Finnick, only to realise he was no longer there.

“Where did he go?” Peeta asks her.

“Probably to the swamp, probably without a plan.” She sighed, she was annoyed, but couldn't say she was surprised, she knew he would do anything for you, including laying down his own life.

“How do we find him, we don't even know where the swamp is, y/n and Finnick were the only ones who crossed it.”

“You don't happen to have a map, do you?” Johanna asks, sarcasm heavy as usual.

While the others were trying to figure out where exactly Finnick had run off to, he himself ran into some trouble. He knew it was his fault for going in without a plan or any backup, but he had listened to his heart, not his head. His heart convinced him he had to find you, telling him that if he didn't find you and wake you up, he’d never be able to see your eyes looking back into his. His heart was telling him to go and save you, even though his head was telling him it was probably already too late anyway.

He wasn't paying close attention to his surroundings as he should have been, trying with all his might to find you. They had found him when he was distracted and from that moment on they kept trying to break him. He was tied with his back against a tree, most of his body covered in blood and a little dizzy from the loss of it.

“It’s very easy to figure out what makes you tick Odair” the district one tribute spoke to him. He couldn't see very far ahead of him, and he couldn't see you anywhere.

“What’s that supposed to mean” He was confused and angry. Confused about what they meant, why they hadn't killed him. Angry they kept him from finding you, from holding you.

“Don’t worry, you'll find out soon enough.”

And as if it was planned, right after the career had spoken, a loud, soul-cracking scream echoed around him. Finnick immediately recognized it, how could he ever forget? It couldn't be real, it had to be a trick, jabber-jays, something. But there wasn't a flock of birds around, and nothing would be able to replicate such a crushing sound. He tried closing his eyes, but when he did his imagination ran wild with images and scenarios, and it only made it worse. The only thing he could do to calm down was tell himself it wasn't real, even if he didn't believe it, repeating it like a mantra over and over.

“It isn't real, it isn't real, it isn't real.” It was nothing more than a whisper and most probably only a mumble of incoherent words.

“Oh but that's the best part Odair, it is real, and it's not gonna stop until you give us what we want. to know.”

“You’re lying” He spit out, barely able to say the next words without falling apart completely “I saw her die.” A single tear makes its way down his face as he tries to keep his composure, cracking now wouldn't do him or you any good.

“Are you willing to take that risk? She’s pretty feisty, I'll give you that, but if you don't crack soon and tell us where your friends are, she's not gonna make it.

He tried ignoring it, trying to listen to his head instead of his heart, but once again the attempt was futile. All he could hear was the screaming, even when he was sure it had actually stopped, the sound still lived in his head. It was hard to say which was worse, the deafening screams, or the silences in between.

He tried to think with his head, tried to think what you would say to him. It would probably be something along the lines of ‘don’t do anything stupid when I'm not there.’

It was far too late for that.

When the career returned, he had a smile on his face that seemed way too happy for the situation they were in.

“She’s strong, that girl of yours, that much is true. The question is for how much longer, everyone has a point of no return, and I have a feeling she’ll cross it soon, But you can make it stop, tell us where your friends are, and it’ll stop.” The tribute had bent down so he was face to face with him, and by the look in his eyes, he now knew for sure this wasn't a bluff.

Finnick didn't know where they were, they wouldn't have stayed at the beach where he found them or at the clearing where the two of you had slept for the night. And maybe it was for the best he didn't know, because right now if he was honest with himself, he would have told them anything he knew if they wanted it. He would do anything to get to hold you again, to feel the warmth of your body against his, to feel your lips pressed against his own. But the careers weren't stupid, he had no reason to believe they would actually let you go, and even if they did, he knew a part of you would never forgive him for what he would have done.

“This is a waste of time.” He screamed, silently hoping you were close enough and conscious enough to hear his voice, hoping it would be enough to tell you not to give up. He pulled at the ropes tying his hands together with all the strength he had left, knowing it would likely not achieve anything, but hoping for it nonetheless.

But it didn't make a difference, your screams didn't stop, and his heartache didn't stop. Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes turned into hours, up until a point where Finnick couldn't tell how much time had passed. It was difficult to keep track of time when you kept blacking out, but it was peaceful in the most morbid way. He didn't sleep, he lost consciousness, so he didn't dream. When he blacked out he had a moment of peace, a moment where he didn't hear your screams echoing around in his head. But he would always wake up and have to face reality again.

He couldn't hear his heartbeat anymore, he couldn't hear his breathing or his thoughts, all he could hear was the screaming and the cries, even though he wasn't sure if they were there or if his mind kept playing tricks on him. He had always feared this, but he didn't think that his worst nightmares would actually come true.

He looked down and saw a puddle of his blood staining the ground and the leaves he was sitting on. The last thing he heard before he blacked out again was shouting coming from the distance.

When he wakes up he can't see much, his eyes heavy and his body tired. But he can feel his cheeks getting wet, it’s a heavy liquid and he guesses it's his blood until he opens his eyes far enough to see you kneeling in front of him, your hands cupping his cheeks to lift his face while you're silently crying, the tears creating a clear path down the grime on your face.

“y/n?” His voice barely reaches a whisper, but you look up into his eyes immediately.

“Finnick, oh god, please wake up we have to get out of here.” Your voice sounds strained, and Finnick isn't sure if it's because of all the screams that must have taken a toll on you, or if the sounds have damaged his ears, he hopes for your sake it's the latter.

“No we don’t” He says with a sense of peace that doesn't match up with the predicament you're in.

“What do you mean?” You ask him, while trying to remove some of the blood stains from his skin, but failing miserably.

“We’re in heaven, aren't we, that's why you're here, I was hoping I would see you.” A sob from your throat almost interrupts his whispering, and he looks up to you again.

“Why are you covered in so much blood” He reaches out to touch your face ever so gently, as if he's scared you're only a figment of his imagination, and you could disappear anytime.

“It’s nothing, I’m alright, I’m more worried about you, you look like you could open your very own blood bank with how much you’re losing.” Your voice is shaky, and it matches the tremble of your hands.

“No need to worry about that, You're here to bring me to heaven, we’ll be together again, it’ll all be perfect.”

“Finnick listen to me! I’m not here to take you to heaven, I’m real and I'm right here in front of you and I need you to stay awake!”

Only he’s not responding to you anymore, his eyes closed again.

“Goddamnit”

You tried to lift him off the ground, but almost fell over once you got him upright. You weren't in your strongest state, and Finnick not being in any conscious state wasn't helping, his whole body weight leaning on you. You put your arm around his shoulder and put the other around his middle, trying to keep him standing so you could move. But with your hands busy trying to keep Finnick upright, you had no way to defend yourself. All the commotion must have alerted other tributes, but you didn't know how many there were to begin with, or who even started the disturbance that allowed you to break free. You thanked whoever was listening that the two of you made it out of the swamp without running into further trouble, and entered an opening of trees that finally allowed bright sunlight to touch upon your skin. You can hear footsteps close by, and prepare for the worst.

“We need to get the two of you back to the others” A familiar voice enters your ears, and you didn't know you could ever be so grateful to find Beetee.

You make your way to a lake not far away. When you get there, you refuse to leave Finnick’s side when Beetee had insisted you needed tending to as well. It was like an unspoken rule. Whenever one of you was hurt, the other didn't leave their side until you were sure they were going to be okay. But you weren't sure, and you weren't leaving him. So you lay down next to him, and the others knew it was useless to try and separate you.

After some time had passed, Finnick started to softly grunt and woke you up with him. Your face contorted in a mix of anger and pain. You leapt up into his arms. It hurt him a little with how tight you were holding him, but he didn't dare let go. Still a little afraid it wasn't real. But he could feel your breathing against his neck, hear you crying in his ear, and hear your heart beating in your chest, in sync with his, you were here, and you were okay.

[growth-crazy-girl]

Extreme Slime Expansion

Warning: Extreme Rapid Weight Gain Fantasy Scenario 😜

Ok I normally don’t do long form writing, but I wanted to put this somewhere lol. One of my biggest fantasies is myself being a slime girl with the ability to pump up humans with my slime. I’m not into NC so only if willing, but I’d wanna pump up a skinny girl hundreds and hundreds of pounds in a matter of minutes, and then some 🤤

I’d start by thickening her up all around, watching her skinny thighs fill out, her rear showing more definition, her breasts slowly becoming fuller and rounder, the rest of her body developing a layer of supple fat. My slime works as a biological imitator, so my cells instantly mutate to whatever host cells I want to replicate. In other words, her body is genuinely gaining all of this weight, and I can mold her in any way I want

First I’d concentrate my slime straight to her lower half. Rapidly her hips widen, her thighs thicken, her cheeks swell with pounds and pounds of fat and flesh, and her skin keeps up the pace, the volume and surface area of her ass increase exponentially. I push her up against the mirror so she can see how bottom heavy she’s becoming, going from “thick” to “bbw pear” to “cartoon mom” and beyond, dense fat packed into her hips and thighs and enormous cheeks

Next I’d focus on her belly, slime pumping into her pound after pound until her gut sprawls out before her, love handles turning into dense fat rolls, belly button swelling up on all sides and getting deep. I grab her hanging belly as it sags lower and jiggle it around. Still though it’s stuffed so full of fat and adipose that it extends out straight in front of her, and she moans feeling the vibrations jiggle through hundreds of pounds of new tissue across her body

Suddenly her boobs explode outward in size as I finally concentrate my full power on them, surging with glutted fat and newfound breast tissue. Rivers of slime can be heard forcibly gushing their way into the now ocean of titmeat. Of course I have to force a ton of slime into her nipples as well, swelling them up huge and hard, the size of an average girl’s dildo. Each boob rolls to the side of her gut, still riding as firm on her chest as possible at this size

As she blows through the entire alphabet of bra sizes and into the unknown, I can’t help but squeeze a few dozen collective pounds into fattening her fupa and entire vulva, giving her a wobbling, gravid pussy bigger than her head, and a clit bigger than a soup bowl

She must be, what, 600-700 pounds now? I can only imagine the mixture of fear and excitement she’d be feeling, knowing she let me make her as big as I wanted. Surely we must be done right? She can’t even see the mirror anymore! Little does she know we’re just getting started…

I broadened my slime flow to the rest of her body and begin pumping. Her only request was to maintain some semblance of mobility, and I planned to happily oblige.

Too much weight to carry? Slime poured into her muscles to beef them up, and she modifies her stance to accommodate the enormous amount of new muscle needed to keep her mountainous ass cheeks lofty and firm, to keep her legs from buckling under the sheer weight. Not enough structural integrity? Slime reinforces her bones, strengthens her joints and ligaments, adding even more fat and skin in the right places to maintain balance. Heart going to stop from pure insane obesity? The chambers of her heart suck up my slime like a sponge, becoming like biological steel. I’ll shape and mold her body in any way necessary to maintain every bodily function, maintain some human resemblance…. All so she can take more.

More fat. More slime. MORE.

I finally realize that she’s going to need more height and a larger frame overall or else the laws of physics will catch up with us, and so the massive pile of woman begins growing up as well as out in every direction.

Awww but now she’s not visibly getting much bigger! 20 pounds a second looks like nothing on her, and that’s no fun 😏 So I take a deep breath, enter her every remaining orifice, and make one final push

*GLUUUUUURGLRGLRGLRGLRG*

Her body sounds like a fire hydrant in reverse as hundreds of gallons of slime force there way into her mountainous form, instantly turning into flesh and bone and fat. Soooo much fat.

Finally I stop when I hit that magical number- 2000lbs. I can’t wait to tease her, “you literally weigh a ton, you’re literally as big as an elephant, it might take some getting used to, but you can walk waddle short distances!”

I stepped back to admire my handiwork. This gigantic blob of a once skinny woman had me drooling over her every roll and curve. I was particularly proud of her gargantuan ass cheeks that were each the size of a refrigerator, and yet miraculously didn’t touch the ground, instead perpetually wobbling and jiggling acting as a counterweight to the insane amount of flesh forced into her boobs, belly, and pussy.

“MMMMMMMMMM” I heard her moan as she tried to lean forward to rest on her boulder of a belly, “I’m soooooo hungryyyyyy”

I stood behind her, admiring that I could now see her enormous blubbery vulva, glistening and dripping as a testament to how horny and sensitive I’d made her

“Me too babe, me too 🥵🤤😋”

***Dont expect long form written content or stories from me like this in the future, this is a super rare occurrence 😜😜😜

[munsonsreputation]

HITS DIFFERENT ('CAUSE IT'S YOU)

steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: [7.6K]

warnings: warnings: no use of y/n, exes to lovers, cursing (plenty), angsty, mentions of alcohol and reader throwing up, reader and steve arguing (just a bit), angst mixed in with humor (my personal fave), reader crying (she does a lot), mis communication, uses of a home phone and answering machine, stupid idiots confessing their love <3

summary: you never would have thought that steve harrington could ever break your heart...after all, he was all that you wanted. however, after a sudden breakup you find yourself struggling to move on from him. moving on was always easy for you to do, but you just don't understand why you can't get over steve. after a night out with nancy and robin you question if love really is a thing or if it's just a complete lie.

Two weeks.

Fourteen days.

The most grueling three hundred and sixty-six hours of your life, and here you were sat at the bar with your best friends on either side of you. The two of them buying you drinks and talking shit about your ex-boyfriend to try to make you feel a little better.

But in all fairness, it’s the best you felt in those two weeks, so you’d take a night full of shots and half-drunk euphoria over one full of tears and sadness in bed.

“Another round?” The bartender glided over with a smile on his unshaven face as he compiled the shot glasses on a plate.

You swung your head, cringing as you bit down on the lime slice to chase the vodka burning your throat. The three of you were on a roll, drinking ever since you entered the club without a care for stopping.

Nancy hiccuped in, looking between you and Robin, knowing you should cool it on the drinking, “M-maybe some water?” she requested as the two of you nodded in agreement.

He laughed freely at all three of you girls’ halt on shots. “Coming right up,” he spun around, grabbing a few waters and clean glasses.

Robin turned her eyes towards you, her fist lazily reinforcing her head as she could feel the alcohol slowing hitting her, “Are ya having fun?”

“Hmmm…” You pretended to think for a moment before putting on your best smile, “’course I am, you know I always have fun with you two.”

Robin and Nancy shot a concerning look at each other while you were distracted by the water pushed towards you, downing the glass.

They knew things weren’t easy for you, at least right now. They had spent the last few days trying to convince you to go out and try to have fun in hopes of helping you get over the untimely breakup. After spending the first week locked up in your apartment, wallowing, they had tried to get you to come out and get some much needed girl’s time.

And for a minute they thought that they had cracked you, getting you to tag along at the beach, but unfortunately the experience just made you feel worse about yourself. Seeing too many happy couples splashing in the water or writing each other’s initials in the sand around a big heart—you were totally broken hearted.

Nancy and Robin had to practically drag you back to your apartment, a sobbing mess. What they didn’t know was that the last date that you and Steve went on was to that exact beach. Memories of you and him running barefoot across the sand and splashing each other with the salty ocean water.

Thankfully, you had gotten your shit together, or at least tried to for tonight. You were grateful to have friends who were so committed to making sure you were ok in times like these. But they could also see through the facade. You hadn’t mentioned his name all night. The first in the last couple of days where all you could think and talk about was him.

“I know, but you can also talk to us about anything you’re feeling,” Nancy started, her hands coming up to warmly caress your shoulder, “We’re always gonna be here for you.”

You inhaled, eyes glittering with a sheen of salty liquid and a genuine smile creeping onto your face as you threw your arms around her neck and pulled her into a hug. You could hear the muffled laughter of Robin’s voice behind you through the music, feeling her wrap her arms around the two of you and join in on the hug.

“I love you guys.” You murmured, feeling their smile and giggle on your skin, reciting it back to you before they stretched away.

Again, the bartender stood behind the bar, arms crisscrossed over his rib cage as he rose his brows towards you, “So what did he do? Cheat or ghost you?”

Your eyes squinted at him, evidently taken aback by his intrusion as you set your glass down, “W-what?”

He snickered inwardly, leaning closer to the bar, nearly face to face with you before you scooched back, “No group of girls just comes to a club on a Friday night crying for no reason, y’know?”

The bartender tried to be silly, laughing at himself and towards you and your friends like you’d even give him a giggle. Instead, you wanted to reach over the table and give him a piece of your mind. That yeah, maybe you were here sitting at a bar crying over Steve Harrington, but Steve would never cheat or ghost you.

Never.

But before you could even begin explaining that to him, Nancy cut in. Both of her palms resting on the surface as she pushed herself forward, face to face with the man, staring him down and watching him cower.

“Look it’s none of your business. We’re here to have a good time, not to explain ourselves to an eavesdropper.” Her voice spiked with firmness, standing her ground while the bartender smirked, holding his hands up in defense, and backed away.

You felt a squeeze on your shoulder coming from Robin who gave you an encouraging smile, but you could tell that beneath that she was worried for you. Most times you wouldn’t hesitate to put someone like him in his place for being so invasive, but these days it just felt like you didn’t have the energy for anything, let alone picking fights with strangers.

Nancy settled back comfortably into her chair and you mouthed a “thank you” towards her, and all she did was shake her head and give you those comforting eyes that let you know that she would’ve done it either way for you.

You didn’t want to feel like you needed to defend yourself, but part of you wished that you didn’t have to be here in the first place. That if Steve didn’t break your heart, you’d just be with him and the rest of your friends back at your apartment watching a shit-load of movies until you fell asleep.

But instead you were here, moping and trying to numb away your pain with drinks, like a goddamn rom-com. Except your prince charming wasn’t going to waltz in any minute and beg for your forgiveness.

You wished you could’ve just spent your night forgetting this interaction with that stupid bartender even happened, but as swiftly as the privacy came, it died once again with him invading your personal bubble.

A tray of freshly poured shots slid its way towards you, along with the cough of the man who gained your attention. “The shots are on the house and it’s my bad…I didn’t mean to make you girls angry.”

You took a deep breath, shoulders dropping heavily, only reaching for a glass and toasting it up to him, “It’s whatever…no hard feelings, dude.”

With that you chugged the alcohol, not bothering to even chase it with lime or salt, like you had been doing all night. Nancy and Robin did the same, mumbling a “thank you” to the man and taking their own shot.

He should’ve left it at that, but of course just like any other man, they always had to go and ruin it.

“Buuut…” his tone condescending with just that one word alone, “love is a complete and utter lie anyway so try not to think so hard about it.”

His lips twisted up in a smirk as if he had just played you, but you were really just not having any of it anymore. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol beginning to really kick in and give you an edge or if you were really just ticked off, but you didn’t think twice before reaching for Nancy’s half-full cup of water and chucking the rest of it at the man.

“You’re such an asshole!” You slurred noisily followed by the gasps of the other bystanders who watched it unfold.

“Oh, my god!” Robin shrieked, clamping a hand over her mouth as she watched the man completely lose his shit over some water.

It all happened so fast, and you really were about to go across the bar and throw every single drink at this man just so you could release all this pent up sadness and frustration, but something stopped you. That familiar tune beginning to play over the speakers. That song that was Steve’s favorite blaring in your ears and it just made you want to cry.

You never would have thought you’d ever throw a drink into any person’s face. Never ever. Sure, you’d fantasize about it, and wish you could to ever rude person you met.

But you never did…not until tonight.

You don’t know what overcame you, but it all just felt so wrong.

Nancy quickly helped you up out of the barstool, while Robin exhanged a few curse words and thrown middle fingers at the man before following you two outside of the club before you would have been escorted out by security.

You couldn’t control the sobs that were leaving your mouth and tears slipping down your cheeks. This isn’t what you wanted at all, and this wasn’t how the night was supposed to play out.

You had it all planned out in your head.

You three would just spend the night drinking your worries away and dancing to overplayed club music until your feet hurt and you would have to hail a cab barefoot down the street.

But of course, nothing was ever how it was supposed to be.

“Here, let’s sit,” Nancy suggested, wandering a few blocks away from the place and helping you sit down on the curb.

“Oh honey,” Robin murmured, coming to the other side of you and wrapping her arms across your shoulders, “Don’t listen to that prick. He has no idea what he’s talking about!”

Nancy ran her palms up and down your arms, trying to warm you up from the chilly night air, “Mhm! He’s probably just angry because he’s never been in love before.”

With your breath uneasy, you lifted your face from your hands, revealing the mascara smeared cheeks where the salty tears continued to pour.

“Love isn’t a lie! It can’t be…”

You looked at them in disbelief like this breakup was so catastrophic…because it was and it was painting you blue. The kind of messy and discolored shades of every blue fusing together and turning your soul into grey goop.

You were a mess.

Nance gulped, not really sure of what to say because your emotions had never got this bad. Back in the first week of the breakup, she and Robin would hold you while you cried and told them how lonely you were, but this was something different.

“A—and no one is saying it’s a lie! Love isn’t a lie, hun.” She told you, stroking your hair back from where it was sticking to your wet cheeks.

You couldn’t help collapsing into Nancy’s lap, hiding your face and hands on top of her where you wept violently. She felt the strings tugging on her heart, watching you break down, rubbing circles on your back to try to get you to calm down.

Her eyes narrowing towards Robin and mouthing, “say something to make her feel better!”

Robin wasn’t so good with these emotions, either. Smacking her hand on top of her forehead and opening her mouth to try to form words, but she struggled a bit, but not before Nancy smacked her leg lightly, begging her to say something quick.

“Y-you know…ummm love isn’t a complete lie…it’s just that ummm, you know sometimes things just don’t work out, but when you meet someone and it feels right, you just know…you know that it’s love.”

You rocked your head in your hands, your heart being pulled in a million different directions, yet still falling apart because you knew that you only ever had that feeling with Steve. He was the person who felt right. And you feared that it was always going to be him.

Nancy and Robin continued rubbing reassuring circles on your back, and you even felt the warmth of a Robin’s jacket being draped across body. There was no good reason as to why your two best friends should be doing this right now. And you probably wouldn’t have blamed them if they had just left you here to fend for yourself because you were a total mess and you really felt like your sadness was contagious—infecting them and ruining their night.

They had their own significant others, Jonathan and Vicky, who probably would have given them a better night than tonight. At least, they had people coming home to them, probably thinking about what they were up to, maybe something fun and looking forward to receiving one of those drunk calls asking them to come and pick them up. But no, they were here, already sobered up and comforting their heartbroken wreck of a friend.

“B-but what if it’s really a lie?” You hiccuped quietly, withdrawing your head from Nancy’s lap, and struggling to swipe away at the never ending puddle of tears.

Robin adjusted her jacket over your shoulders, hugging you firmly and Nance doing the same on the opposite side.

“Don’t think like that, babe…you know you’re a total romantic.” Robin replied

You sniffled, glancing over at her with a crushed presence, “I don’t know a-anymore, maybe love just isn’t meant for me,”

“No, no, no, don’t say that.” Nancy scolds gently, moving to hold on to your hand where you take a shaky breath and look up at the sky.

You wished that there was a shooting star, just so you could make a wish and rewind time. You were so pathetically drunk yet sober off your ass and feelings right now.

“It’s true! Maybe Steve will find a new girlfriend who will give him the world and take my place and love him the way that I—”

You swallowed thickly, not even wanting to finish that sentence because it made you so sick. Your senses were just filled with all things Steve and even when you closed your eyes to try to forget about it, all you could visualize was Steve laughing and kissing another girl who wasn’t you.

It was your deepest fears coming true in the bounds of your imagination, yet maybe it was true. Maybe Steve already found someone else who was better than you, the girl who you could never be. Maybe he was already moved on, meanwhile you were letting him make a mess and a fool out of you.

It made you sick.

The lump in your larynx rose despite your attempts to swallow it, and out of nowhere your hands forced outwards, shoving Robin and Nancy away, while you jerked forward and threw up on the street.

“Oh, Jesus.” Nancy sighed, hastily rising up and backing away to give you a minute.

Meanwhile, Robin clenched one hand over her mouth, while the other gathered your hair and held it back for you.

“Yup, just let it all out.” She mumbled, grimacing as you continued to do so.

Nance searched around, catching a payphone a short walk away, “I’m gonna call her a ride and try to find her some water.”

“Be quick, please.” Robin hailed out before she jogged off to the payphone.

She really didn’t know who to call, and for a second she contemplated Steve, but after everything that had happened tonight, she didn’t want to put you in a situation that you quite literally weren’t ready for.

Jonathan would have been an option, but she knew her boyfriend and at this hour he was probably dead asleep and would not wake up.

Then there was Vicky, which would have been a great option, however she still didn’t have her license and the last thing they needed was for her to get pulled over for not having one.

So she dialed the numbers, hoping that the person would be up and willing to come into town to pick you up.

“C’mon, c’mon, please, pick up.” She tapped her foot impatiently and the phone continued to ring, for a moment she was about to lose all her hope and hang up.

But thankfully, he picked up, “Munson residence, what can I do for you at this hour?”

Nance could practically feel the smirk on his face once he answer, “Eddie, you need to get your ass down here before she quiet literally drops down drunk on the side of the road.”

There was a heavy sigh before she heard some shuffling in the background, “I’ll be right there.”

How Nancy got a bottle of water from the same bartender that you threw a glass of water at was kinda funny, but nevertheless you were thankful. You were half drunk, drowsy, propping your head on Robin’s shoulder while Nance occasionally prompted you to drink some more water, trying to get you to sober up quickly. But what you really needed was an aspirin and your bed.

Thankfully, after what felt like the longest twenty minutes of your life, you could hear the sighs of reliefs coming from Robin and Nancy as they followed the white van coming closer down the street.

“C’mon, hun, time to get up,” Robin declared, wrapping one of your arms across her shoulder and Nancy did the same, trying to get you up on your feet without you flopping down.

“What the fuck!” Eddie hollered out the passenger window, hitting the brakes and placing the van in park before getting out.

You heard him, more than saw him, due to the fact that you were still buzzed, but could barely raise your head to meet his eyes. Instead, just seeing a distorted view of his converse that he always wore.

“Now’s not the time for a tangent, Edward—fuck!” Nancy winced, struggling to keep you up.

“Jesus Christ, just give her to me,” Eddie sputtered, drawing your full weight and essentially lugging you to the passenger side of the van where Robin opened the door wide.

He turned to the two girls, looking at them seriously, “Before she goes in, did she already throw up?”

Nancy nodded, pointing to the side of the road where your barf still stayed in a pile that made everyone want to gag, “Like everything in her system.”

“Okay, I’ll get her home safe and make sure she calls you before she heads to bed,” He told them and they nodded, watching Eddie gingerly place you in the passenger seat and buckle you in.

“Feel better, babe, we’ll talk to you in a bit.” Nancy exhaled, giving your thigh a pat while Robin opted for a kiss on the forehead before shutting your door quietly.

You could only barely hear the conversation that the two girls and Eddie were having outside. Their voices a subdued murmur, not wanting to disturb your journey to sleep, but also not wanting you to hear them explain the situation that had happened that lead up to this. But you really paid them no mind, just resting your head back against the cushion and listening to the low music that played.

It was only a few more minutes before Eddie finally got into the driver’s seat, glancing over at you. “Ready to go?”

“Hmmm.” You uttered, keeping your eyes tight and feeling the van begin to move.

You weren’t really sure where things stood between you and Eddie, considering the fact that he was closer to Steve and even let him crash at his trailer after you two had broken up and you kept the apartment. You weren’t even sure if Eddie liked you all that much. After all this time dating Steve, he was one of the friends that was hard to read.

Sometimes he’d be super friendly and other times he’d be a little closed off. It just depended on the day, but you had a feeling that you were the last person that Eddie wanted to see tonight.

“I’m sorry for making you drive all the way down here for me…I-I should’ve just told them to call me a cab—”

He grunted, swaying his head and peeping over at you shortly, “And what if that cab driver was a creep? Just—just consider it a favor and let it be done.”

“D-do you hate me or something?” You opened your eyes, looking at him blankly.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you dated my best friend since like forever…I can’t hate you.” He chuckled to himself, but still you didn’t seem convinced.

“But we’re broken up now, so technically you can hate me.” You responded, pushing yourself to sit up rather than slouch.

He looked over at you, perhaps thinking you were about to yack again, but you just looked at him, waiting for a response.

“Look,” He sighed heavily, “You made Steve really happy, the happiest I’ve ever fuckin’ seen him in our whole friendship. There isn’t a goddamn reason for me to hate you for doing that. If anything, I owe you because him being that happy made him a better friend, alright. So stop thinking that I hate you, because I don’t.”

You were a little shocked to be honest, because Eddie never really got deep when it came to you. So maybe Eddie really didn’t hate you. That at least made you feel a little better.

When you didn’t respond, Eddie spoke again, hoping that you would at least say something for the rest of the drive.

“You know, Steve isn’t doing so well, either. He’s still crashing at my place and when I got the call from Nance tonight, I contemplated telling him it was about you, but…I don’t think right now either of you are ready to talk at three in the morning.” He snickered, smiling a bit when he saw you scorn jokingly and brush back your hair.

“And so, what did you tell him?” You marveled out loud, turning your eyes to the road, “That you had to deliver some weed?”

“Maybe, something like that.” He shrugged feeling so predicable.

Eddie honestly didn’t know what to make of this whole situation. A part of him feeling a little bad for not telling his best friend that his ex-girlfriend was totally wasted and needed a way home. But he also understood that you were really vulnerable right now and to tell Steve would blow the whole situation out of proportion and probably would’ve made everything between the two of you even worse.

If there was any hope for reconsolidation, it would be best for the two of you two meet when you weren’t wasted and the other worried out of their mind about your wellbeing.

The drive to your apartment wasn’t long or as awkward as you thought it was going to be. It was actually quite comfortable. Eddie made jokes every once in a while when you got too quiet, wondering if you were about to throw up and that he would never forgive you if you threw up in his van.

“Home sweet home.” Eddie announced, guiding you into your place and shutting the door behind you.

You flickered the lights on, cursing at the sudden brightness that only made your head hurt even more than it already was. Eddie looked around that the space and a lot of the areas were bare after Steve had packed up his things with him. It wasn’t a complete mess, but there were boxes of tissues scattered around the coffee table and kitchen area. And there seemed to be more wine bottles behind the kitchen—your way of coping.

“I’m gonna get out of these clothes. Just grab anything you want to eat or drink if you’re hungry.” You waved off, stumbling towards your bedroom to grab a fresh pair of clothes to change into.

Again, with your energy so depleted you just didn’t have it in you to take the time to shower, so instead you opted for a makeup wipe, brushing your teeth, and changing into sweats.

“Here she is.” Eddie spoke with a half full mouth of cereal, passing the phone to you once you came back out to the living room.

You rubbed at your eyes, yawning loudly, as you placed the phone beside your ear, “H-hello?”

“Hey hun, you feeling a little better?” It was Robin on the other line.

“Just a little, gonna take an aspirin and head to bed…and look, I’m sorry for—”

“Nope!” She cut you off quickly, “don’t apologize, sometimes it happens, but I’m just glad that we were there to make sure you got home safe.”

You nodded, drawing a deep breath, “Yeah, thanks for that too.”

Robin could sense the tiredness in your voice and knew it was time you head to bed.

“Get some rest and I’ll call you tomorrow ok? I love you, sugar!”

You laughed faintly at the kissy noises she made, “Love you too, Robs.”

When you hung up the phone, your eyes followed the ruckus taking place in the storage closet beside the kitchen. You got up, seeing as though Eddie has pulled from the bottom layer of your paper towel tower and caused a few to come plummeting down.

“Sorry, you were all out of some in the kitchen.” Eddie apologized while you bent down, helping him pick up a few rolls and stack them back up.

But something peeking out behind the stack caught your eyes, a dark blue piece of fabric that had been wedged behind it. You rose your brows, tugging at the garment until it came out into view and just like that you wanted to cry all over again.

It was the stupid blue bucket hat that Steve had been wearing on your last date at the beach.

You couldn’t remember why it was there to begin with, but it was just like another memory of him seeping back into your life. You had thought that he packed away everything, all his clothes, his little trinkets—leaving no trace of himself behind, yet this stupid hat was still here.

“A-are you ok?” Eddie asked slowly, watching your eyes being to water, and you went stoic.

You sniffled, shaking your head, and rolling your eyes at yourself for being so dramatic. “It’s the hat that Steve wore on our last date.”

“Oh…umm, I’m sorry.” He said, cursing at himself for being so clumsy and causing you to find it.

You shook your head, lips sealed closely as you tried to breathe through your tears, “No, it’s fine, I just thought he took everything with him and now it’s just like, right in my face and it sucks.”

“I-I can give it back to him if you want?” Eddie offered, holding his hands out ready for you to want it as far away as possible, but you didn’t hand it over.

Instead, you wiped away your tears, shaking your head again while you examined it, “I’ll keep it…you know, for memory and whatnot.”

He didn’t question for how weird that must sound, but instead reached forward and wrapped his arms around you, giving you a hug. One that he knew you probably needed. The one that he rarely gave you when you two were friends. If this breakup was hard for Steve, it was even harder for you, and just by the looks of it, he could tell that was true.

“You rest up and feel better tomorrow, alright?” He said, pulling away from the hug and looking at you through your teary eyes.

Your lip quivered, trying to control the sobbing from happening because you knew Eddie couldn’t be of comfort like Nancy and Robin. He told you goodnight, before giving you one last hug and letting himself out. It felt lonelier than usual, locking up the place and heading to your bedroom where you couldn’t even find it in yourself to sleep on Steve’s side of the bed.

You always stayed on your side, wishing that he was there to fill that empty space. To just hold you tight and tell you that everything was going to be fine.

And so maybe his side of the bed was still empty, but you still had a small piece of him there with you. With that, you clutched that stupid hat close to your chest while you faced towards his side of the bed. Tears still slipping and being soaked up by your blankets as you cried yourself to sleep.

Sleep seemed to be the only place where you’d find an ounce of peace, but only for a little, because as soon as a dream would begin, it would only end in a nightmare that woke you up. It was no different, except for the fact that this time you dreamed of that beach, the one where you and Steve walked hand in hand, telling each other anything.

It felt so real, seeing him there and feeling his hand against yours. His laughter was still contagious, just as much as his smile was. Then, like that…he just disappeared, like he had been swept away in the current.

You were left on that beach all alone, feeling the warmth of the sun piercing through your skin like a death by a thousand cuts and the sand beneath your feet burning you with each lonely step you took.

“Fuck,”

Groaning, you looked at yourself in the mirror. Hair disheveled, eyes swollen with bags under them, and you totally looking like you just had the life sucked out of you from the night before. You knew that it wasn’t acceptable even if you were so heartbroken. You spat out the mouthwash and immediately got into the hot shower, trying to scrub off any memories of last night and let it go down the drain.

You pulled on some fresh clothes, hoping that a little bit of self-care would make you feel better and tackle on the rest of the day, despite you waking up at nearly noon, but the effort was what mattered.

Walking into the living room, you passed the home phone, noticing the alarming amount of red numbers flashing, indicating you had some messages that Robin and Nancy probably left after calling you all morning. And you were right, more than half were from Robin and Nancy, calling and checking in, telling you to call them as soon as you got the message, and if you didn’t that they’d be stopping by to check on you.

You pressed play on the next message, already assuming it was one of them, but it wasn’t.

“Hey, sorry, I know you’re probably still asleep and you have a massive hangover, but I might have accidentally told Steve about what happened last night and now he’s—”

“Fuck!”

Your eyes enlarged at Eddie’s message and you immediately picked up the phone, dialing his number and hoping you could get him to retract that statement he passed on to Steve because you really didn’t want him to know you were crying over him last night.

One. Two. Thee. Four. Five rings and still he didn’t pick up.

He was probably telling Steve everything about last night and how reckless you were. Throwing a drink in a stranger’s face? Throwing up on the side of the road? Being so wasted you couldn’t even lift yourself off the ground? And for godsake, sobbing over that stupid hat?

You were totally done for.

Sitting on the couch with your face in your hands, you were in disbelief.

How could Eddie just go and spill about what had happened?

You thought he was your friend?

Maybe that was just all a part of his plan?

What if Eddie only accepted giving you a ride home so he could tell Steve about how you were handling the breakup, only for him to make fun of you for how stupid you’ve been acting?

“God, I am such an idiot!” You shouted at yourself, shaking your head in your hands, before hearing the familiar key turn in the door.

It was obvious Nancy or Robin with their spare key you gave them. It had been hours since they left the message and they were here to check on you. Thank god they were because you felt like you were going insane and you didn’t know if you could do it alone.

The high-pitched squeak that came from the knob turning prepared you for your friends who would probably bombard you with questions before you got to tell them anything. You were ready for it, hearing their shouts of, “why didn’t you call?” or “we were worried sick!” but you didn’t hear that.

Instead, you heard the familiar footsteps of the person you could never mistake. He always had a way of walking, especially when he tried to tiptoe because he didn’t want to wake you up. The floorboards creaked a little, and you heard a hiss and then you turned your head.

It was Steve.

You stood up, hands glued to your side where you stared at him, not knowing what to say or how to feel. He looked like he felt the same, standing there and looking around in order to avoid the prolonged eye contact you knew he couldn’t hold.

“What are you doing here?”

You tightened your lips, staying still with your arms crossing behind your back. You pinched and pulled at your fingers trying to get yourself to stabilize your heartbeat that felt like it was pounding out your chest.

Steve stuttered for a bit, really contemplating if he should have knocked instead of using his key, but he was worried out of his mind and thought that you were passed out in the bathroom choking on your own vomit. But obviously he was wrong and now he looked like a total creep, breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s apartment.

You rocked your head at him somewhat, prompting a response that came faster than he could formulate the words in his head.

“I, uhh, I didn’t mean to break in but, Eddie told me what happened—” He paused, squinting his eyes at himself, as he backtracked, “well, actually he didn’t really tell me, I forced him to tell me or else I would have flushed the rest of his stash because I knew he was lying.”

This son of a bitch.

Steve shook his head, cursing at himself for getting carried away, “Anyway…he told me, and I just wanted to come here and check on you because you never really get wasted like that, and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Your jaw clenched in a way to try to block the tears from sliding, because if you didn’t have the strength it in you, you would’ve sunk down onto the floor, breaking down and telling him that you were in fact not fine at all.

“I’m fine…can we just pretend like this didn’t happen?” You spoke under your breath, stepping away and trying to pick up random things lying around in order to avoid looking at him any longer.

He sighed, kicking off his shoes, and faltered behind you. “Why are you being like this?”

You rolled your eyes, brushing past him and throwing away the stray wrappers into the trash bin, “Like what?” you countered, still not meeting his views.

“Avoidant and stuff. You just keep acting like you want nothing to do with me.” He huffed, bending down to meet your stance.

Now that ticked you off and made you snap your head back towards him, eyes shooting daggers at his boldness.

“If I remember correctly, you’re the one who wanted nothing to do with me and packed up your things and left.” Your voice dripping with a mix of resentment and hurt as you brushed past him harshly and made your way back into the living room.

His mouth opened in an “o” not knowing how to respond to that, because he really did do what you said, but it wasn’t what he meant.

“J-just let me explain myself alright, I swear that was the last thing I wanted to do—”

You let out a sarcastic laugh, biting your tongue. “Yeah, sure, I guess everyone just breaks up with their significant other for no reason.”

He threw himself down onto the couch, tugging at his hair, “There was a reason, alright! I was scared…terrified that you wanted more in life but didn’t know how to tell me and I was just holding you back.”

That was the first time you had ever heard this explanation. For the past two weeks, the only thing that kept replaying in your mind was Steve sitting you down in this very living room and telling you he wasn’t sure if it was working out anymore and wanted you to venture out into the world. That was it. No other deeper explanation or closure, just those words, and the scene of you frozen on the couch with tears in your eyes as you watched him pack and leave.

Right now, you were frozen in front of him, standing with your arms crossed and tapping your foot against the wooden floors, not knowing what to say.

He was the one who spoke, letting up on his hair and resting his hands on his knees instead, “And, you know, I’m not doing too well either, I still think of you and worry about what you’re doing and if you’re—”

You turned your nose up, voicing cracking as you cut him off, “And all I do is cry every day and I don’t understand why…why I can’t just pick up the pieces that you left here and move on.”

Steve knew you like the back of his hand, and that familiar croak in your throat let him know that you were only seconds away from crying, but still he didn’t stop you. He knew that there was so much that you needed to say and after the way that he had left, it was only right he sat here and listen to you.

“It’s…it’s like I’m just waiting for a bus that never comes—”

He furrowed his brows, “Are you using metaphors right now?”

You looked at him in disbelief, sighing as you threw your hands out in the air and nodded, “Jesus Steve, yes, I am, ok! I’m using fucking metaphors because I’m trying to tell you that I’m still in love with you and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop.”

He followed you, pacing the space in front of him, back and forth, with your fingers running through your hair as you spilled your guts out to him.

“I don’t get why I’m like this and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why can’t I just accept the fact that you broke up with me and move on with my life? And the funny thing is, I should be able to! I should be able to just rip the bandaid off and act like an asshole and pretend you and I never existed!” You turned to him, swallowing thickly as you laughed to yourself, hating the situation you were in right now, but you never stopped talking.

Then you looked up at the ceiling, tugging at your own roots as you continued.

“I mean, for fuck’s sake, in the 8th grade Ben Pritchett broke up with me right before winter formal and I thought that it was going to be the end of the world because I thought he was the love of my life. I thought that I was going to spend the rest of 8th grade miserable and crying my eyes out over him, but I didn’t!”

You looked at him with a hopeless smile and you could see a glint of his own, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous you sounded for comparing him to your 8th grade boyfriend.

“I moved on with my life! Just like that!” You snapped your fingers and watched him blink a bit, “But with you,” your fingers pointed and you stared at him unsure, you shrugged your shoulders, “with you I just can’t…”

The waterworks began, and you finally didn’t care about staring at him for so long. If you could, you would jump into the ocean of his eyes because of how they made you feel. That even if you were standing here ranting to him about unnecessary shit, his eyes still brought you that sense of relief that you had been dying to feel for the last two weeks.

Steve moved forward gradually, taking your hands and holding them, rubbing circles on the tops of your skin, while you closed your eyes and bit back a sob. You let him keep his hands on yours, not daring to back away or drop him because you didn’t know if this was going to be the last time, and if it was you wanted to make the moment last as long as possible.

“I—I see you everywhere…every corner of this apartment, in all the faces I see—I see you. Everything leads back to you for some reason. All of these fucking questions that I’ve been asking myself. Why can’t I get over Steve? Why is this heartbreak hitting me differently than the one I experienced when I was thirteen?”

You squeezed on his hands, opening your teary eyes to see him through the film of salt, “Because it’s you, Steve…I’m still in love with you and I can’t get over you.”

That four letter word: Love. That’s all that he needed to hear, and it’s the word that had been dying to come off your tongue again. You loved Steve with every single ounce of your being. As if he was a drug running through your veins and you needed him to survive. You needed the one person who believed in you when no one else did.

You needed Steve, but you were terrified that he didn’t need you anymore.

“You didn’t listen to my message did you?” Steve asked quietly, letting go of one of your hands and bringing them up to wipe away at the tears on your cheek.

“W-what?” You ordered dumb-founded, feeling as though Steve didn’t hear that whole monologue that you just made up out of nowhere.

He grinned lightly, withdrawing his hand from your cheek and blindlessly, reaching over to the phone and clicking the play button on the leftover messages you had left.

You felt your breathing stop when you heard his voice echoing through the staticky speakers. There was no way that Steve called you last night. You had played the messages on your machine, and all you got were messages from Nancy, Robin, and Eddie. But you also forgot that your outdated machine sorted your messages from new to old, meaning Steve must have called while you were out last night.

“Hey, it’s me….I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to pick up the phone and call, maybe it’s because I’m a little scared that you’re going to delete it once you hear my voice, but I just really have a bunch of things to say and I guess it’s better now than never right?”

You fastened a hand over your mouth, whimpering quietly into it, while you shook your head, not believing that you could have missed this. If only you had stayed home last night, you would have been there to pick up the phone and talk to him. Steve clutched your other hand still, pushing up his glasses that fell down the bridge of his nose while he watched your reaction to the rest of his message.

“I’m an idiot for the way things went down and I should have explained myself better, but you know…I suck at communication—but that’s still not the point! I made the biggest mistake of letting you go like that and just assuming that’s what you wanted because I know deep down it’s not….it’s probably the last thing you ever wanted, and it’s all my fault.”

There was a pause, him clearing his throat and sniffling as he was crying softly.

“But I’m going to make an even bigger mistake if I don’t tell you that I’m still in love with you. That yeah, I might be the dumbest guy out there for letting go of the most amazing girl, but I’m not about to lose her if there’s still a slight chance that she might still feel the same. I love you and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

Then he hung up the phone with a loud clank.

And as quickly as Steve had broken your heart, he soon patched it back together. There was a softness to your eyes now, like you had accepted everything. And Steve looked like he was awaiting for any sort of reaction good or bad, due to your silence.

“I-I don’t expect you to take me back that easily. I mean after all I’m an idiot but I just hope that—mph!”

You clutched his face, pressing your lips against one another, feeling like a wave of happiness washing over you the second you got to be this close to a feeling that you thought that was almost gone forever. Steve didn’t hesitate to move his lips against yours, pulling you closer to him until you were toppling on top of him, and lost in everything that was you and Steve.

“You’re an idiot..but mine.” You muttered against him, feeling his smile creeping against your skin before you laughed, kissing him again.

And again. And more times than you can count.

Relishing him and forgetting about the sadness. And sure, maybe you were equally the idiot who took him back too easily, but if there was one thing that the two of you were sure of, it was that this kiss and this love hit a little different because it would always be you two.

A/N: My first full length fic since i've been back!!! im super proud of this one and want to thank @translatemunson for giving me the idea <;3 i love you effie!!!! hits different is also one of my favorite songs and i wonder if taylor really did scrap it off the face of the internet because it's going to be in the Barbie movie--what do you guys think??? anyways, again thank you all for the outpour of support and reblogs, comments, and likes would be greatly appreciated!!! 🌃🕯💘

leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!!

taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @astolenkiss @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24

[ladydevena]

Can I just say, the fact that the high lords don’t all wear generic crowns in their colors, but it actually ties to their courts makes me happy?and they probably all have quite a few different themed ones?

Tamlin with his burnished gold laurel leaf crown at the wedding that was a courtly version of the calanmai crown he probably dawns each year? And his tithe crown is so suited to more strict moments with its representation of wealth and stability?

Tarquin with his silver cresting waves and blue gemstones for a casual night out on the town? As asymmetrically stunning as the very waters he connects his court to, the blues of the stones glinting with white and green and the depths of the very ocean hidden by the brash, crashing beauty created by the surface?

Helions spiked gold crown as vicious and pointed yet beautiful and picturesque as the suns rays? As warm in color as his skin yet simple and statement making in it power just like helion himself- not needing much adornment to radiate the strength, beauty and deadly power and wicked intelligence he holds?

Rhys has a raven feather crown which makes me wonder if previous highlords of night weren’t just serpentile like the creatures of the hewn city but dark winged and raven featured in some way? (And Feyres crown - complimentary to Rhys isn’t just a newly made item, it existed in tandem with his for previous ladies of night I’m assuming so it ties to the court that way as well?)

Autumn court with its mixture of Medieval English and conqueror era Spanish style in my head? With traditional red and green stones highlighted the most and silver and gold alike, crosses and points to their headwear? Very formal and structured, not just to denote their position, but to reinforce tradition, wealth, class structures, very inline with what I’d assume of the autumn courts viciousness mentioned in the books? Beautiful but vicious.

Winter court with near white shining metals, carved glass and crystal bases for ice diamonds; blue, gray, & frosty fogged stones? Dark blues and wicked gnarled features representing barren branches and shards of ice????

Dawn court with its sweeping elegance and love of beautiful embellishments and pension for color? The people are noted to be largely from Xian as noted by SJM and I always imagine dawn court to be a beautiful mix of Indian and Chinese culture, and the jewelry reflects it, beautifully Intrically carved warm toned metals that depict stories or symbolism entertwined with the culture? Stoned used abundantly yet they’re never garish? They only enhance and bring out the beauty of the crowns and reflect the cultures within the court itself?

(Like I’d love to dive deeper into it and maybe make or paint the crowns one day but that’s a different story)

That’s it that’s the post grammar be darned.

[king0fcrows]

I’m obsessed with whether or not Tom Zane or Alan Wake came first

And the more I play these games the more I think Alan is actually just an extension of Tom

Since we know loops of the spiral exist—

What if Tom didn’t literally write himself out of existence?

If you can’t create from nothing maybe you can’t magically disappear from existence either. You can die, sure, but not just magically cease to be.

So if you need to disappear but don’t want to die, what do you do?

You assume another identity.

You warp realty around you until you were never a poet but an author (have to stay a writer, however, because you have to be true and the truth is your a writer all the way down to your bones) who never settled on the west coast but, in fact, were born and raised on the east coast

(And the love of you life wasn’t a dark haired beauty who was consumed by darkness but a blonde who was scared of even the thought of the dark—as much inborn protection from greedy shadows you could bless her with in the next life)

And from a young age this new version of yourself was given a tool to banish all thoughts of darkness from his mind with the click of a button—preemptive groundwork for if your gambit fails and this new you grows into a man who has to fight off the darkness as well

And when you finish mapping out the trajectory of your new life, you wipe the old realty from existence

(With the insurance that any mentions of your old self will still exist in shoeboxes—just in case the new you needs a little help)

And you begin another loop

—

I think this idea is further reinforced by the fact that Ahti only ever calls you Tom as Ahti can see the entire Spiral and he’s sticking to your original name

Ahti: Not so much evil that not a bit of good as well

(Here Ahti already senses the Dark Presence inhabiting Alan/Tom)

Alan: Can you point me to the exit?

Ahti: The work will instruct its maker. I was gonna get something from the basement for you, but now you can get it yourself.

(I’m unsure if this is implying that:

1) Alan/Tom is a project that holds Ahti interest, so his project asking for something directly is “the work instructs its maker” with Alan/Tom the work and Ahti the maker

2) Ahti is actually “the work” and Alan/Tom is the maker, with Ahti telling him directly where to go

3) it’s just a passing comment on the NEED for an exit from the studio being the impetus for Tom/Alan to go to the basement and get the lamp (so work instructing its maker on the path forward when the maker can no longer remember what’s going on)

Ahti: The more cooks the worse the soup

(Seems to imply Ahti interfering in the story directly weakens the story and thus endangers Alan/Tom. There can only be one deus ex machine here, thank you, and it’s not Ahti.)

Alan: What do you want me to get from the basement? And my name’s Alan, not Tom.

Ahti: No joo, mutta kotapa kun [Well yes, but see] a man’s a man but a man with a tool makes two, Tom.

I think this is essentially Ahti saying “a rose by any other name”—Tom Alan Alan Tom, there is no difference.

“A man with a tool make two.”

Alan is just a tool for Tom to reach his goal of ascension from the Dark Place more quickly.

Alan Wake

A. Wake

the thing you leave behind on the surface of the water (a lake, an ocean) as you move through it

the thing you hold to say goodbye to an old life

the thing you need to do

[lionlena]

We don't love each other (PedroPascalxreader) angst!

A/N: I can't believe I wrote ANGST. It breaks my heart. All because of this one gif. In my imagination, Tyler looks like Tyler Hoechlin.

Summary: You and Pedro are: friends with benefits, for many years. Your layout is simple and clear. You don't love each other. You're friends on a daily basis, you take care of each other... Sometimes you sleep together. You go on dates with other men and Pedro doesn't mind. Everything is simple until you accidentally hear Oscar say that Pedro loves you. Then you decide to tell him the truth and you ruin everything. 

Warnings: angst!!! smut, mentions of sex, friends with benefits, sad, broken hearts, age difference (reader is 15 years younger than Pedro)

*

You thought your arrangement with Pedro was transparent. You were friends with benefits. You two didn't spread it, but your closest friends guessed it.

You met Pedro a few years earlier when his career was just taking off. You liked each other and felt good about each other. You often went to parties together. One day you ended up in bed together. But you and Pedro didn't want something like that to end your friendship. Together, you made the decision to continue your friendship, adding benefits.

Men have needs... Women too.

You had to admit that Pedro was a truly wonderful man, not only in bed, but most of all, out of it. He took cared of you, gave you small gifts and comforted you after a date gone wrong. He was a great friend.

Unfortunately, over time, you realized that you felt something more for him. You really loved him, but you weren't going to tell him that. Pedro has always made it clear, "we don't love each other." He reinforced this position as his career began to take off. You understood and respected it. That's why you dated other men and didn't hide it from Pedro. You didn't sleep with him while you were in a relationship, and he respected that. Sometimes you were a little worried that Pedro rarely dated other women. But you explained it to yourself by his profession. He couldn't risk meeting someone who would announce to the world the next day: I slept with Pedro Pascal and he left me!!! He is an asshole!!!

Well, some women didn't understand that sleeping with a guy doesn't necessarily mean an engagement ring.

Yes, your arrangement with Pedro was clear, transparent and stable. You loved him, secretly, and he... He loved you as a friend. You thought so.

*

You were laughing on the phone when Pedro invited you to a party by the ocean that was supposed to last all weekend.

"Are you crazy! Did you really rent beach houses for everyone?"

"I want to celebrate my success! Y/N, you know me. I want everyone to have fun and no one to worry about how to get home."

"Are you suggesting we are going drink a lot?"

"A lot of!"

You both burst out laughing. You really enjoyed Pedro's success. He deserved it. Deserved all the love and attention. You knew what he went through in life. In your eyes, no one deserved it more that him.

"Okay. I think I can take a few days off."

"Wonderful. Just tell me, do you want a cottage for two?"

You bit your lip and started to think. Pedro obviously sensed that something was wrong and immediately asked:

"Hey, what's wrong? Did you and Tyler break up?"

"Uh, no... But things have gotten complicated for the moment and... I'd rather be alone."

"Okay, do you want to talk about it? I know I've been busy lately with The Last of Us , but we're still friends."

You smiled. Pedro was always worried about you, but you didn't want to spoil his mood.

"It's just a simple lovers' quarrel. He'll get over it."

"OK, see you soon."

"Bye, Pedrito."

You hung up and fell onto the couch. You lied when you said it was nothing. The truth was, you screwed everything up. You and Tyler were a couple for over seven months, it was your longest relationship. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Pedro was in Canada on the set of the show and rarely spoke. It was the truth you didn't want to admit. Tyler was handsome, kind, and... He took your relationship very seriously. A month ago at a family dinner, he knelt in front of you with an engagement ring, and you... You said no and ran.

You really didn't know why you did it. Why?! You tried to call Tyler many times and apologize to him, but he didn't answer. You weren't surprised at all. So you texted him explaining that you were just scared. But you knew it was a lie. The truth was, you missed Pedro. For his body, for having sex with him...

You screamed in rage and started throwing yourself on the couch.

After a few minutes, you decided to go through your wardrobe. Why would you care about Tyler when you could be with Pedro again in a few days. Even if he didn't love you, his presence could bring you comfort.

*

When you got out of the taxi a week later, you felt like you could breathe again and not think about Tyler.

The driver was just taking out your suitcase when you heard Pedro.

"Y/N!!!"

He ran straight at you and you jumped into his arms. You hugged him tightly and inhaled his scent. God, you finally felt good. You pulled back a bit to get a better look at him. You immediately noticed that he had a little more gray hair, but that only added to his hotness. He was wearing a white t-shirt and blue shorts. Even though he was wearing sunglasses, you could see how his eyes sparkled. You'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it. Pedro really loved see you.

"I missed you" you said and cupped his cheek with your hand.

"Me too," he purred.

"Who is already?"

"Oscar, Sarah, Linda, Thomas, Adam, Helen... And you. My most important guest."

You slapped his chest and pulled away.

"Stop. I know it's only because you haven't had sex."

It was a harmless joke, but you could easily see Pedro tense up.

"Hey, it's a joke... You know, nothing has changed. Our arrangement. Right?"

Pedro shook himself and nodded. He grabbed your suitcase with one hand and wrapped his other around your waist. He leaned his head towards you and whispered in your ear.

"You look lovely in that dress."

You couldn't help the blush that spread across your cheeks.

A few minutes later, Pedro was leaning against the doorframe of your beach house. He watched you unpack your suitcase. You glanced at him and noticed that he was strangely restless.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?"

"It's more of a question for you." He replied and took a few steps towards you. "We've known each other for over ten years Y/N. We started friendship when you were in your twenties. I know you and I know when you don't tell me everything. Imagine how surprised I was when I called Laura."

You suddenly felt your mouth go dry. Laura was a friend of yours and spoke to you regularly.

"She was very surprised to hear you were going to the party because I quote, Seriously, I thought she was devastated after she turned down Tyler's engagement."

You tried to read Pedro's face, but he was unfazed. You didn't know if he was angry or disgusted with you. You sighed heavily and sat on the bed.

"What do you want to hear, Pedro? I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was a bitch who broke a good guy's heart."

Pedro shook his head and sat next to you. He grabbed your hand and his thumb began to make comforting circles on your skin.

"I just want to know why? What happened between you two? Is it my fault? Is it because of our arrangement?”

You looked at him surprised.

"How did you get that idea? Tyler doesn't know about us. He know we're just friends, so don't blame yourself." You rested your head on his shoulder. "It just freaked me out, you know... His whole family was there. It wasn't fair. Like he thought I was going to say 'yes' for sure if they were looking at me. We haven't even talked about it and he suddenly jumps out with ring. Who does that?"

Pedro put his arm around you and pulled you closer.

"I'm sorry Y/N. I just want you to be happy."

You had to bite your tongue not to reply, "I'm happy. Here and now, with you." Instead, you pulled away from him and smiled.

"Hey, I'm not here to cry. I want to party, dance, drink and hear all the cool stories from the set."

"You want to hear how everyone was looking for me while I was sleeping?"

You started laughing out loud.

"Why doesn't this surprise me? You're the best nap-mate."

*

You felt wonderful during the party. You completely forget about Tyler. Pedro's hands on your hips while dancing were enough to make you happy. Everyone was laughing and drinking. When it started to get colder, Pedro lit a fire and you all sat on blankets..

Pedro, of course, was sitting next to you and hugging you. Still, you were shaking.

"Do you want my sweatshirt? I can bring you one." he asked tenderly.

He's always taken such good care of you. You nodded, but before he got up, you yourself were on your feet.

"Wait, I'll go myself. I have to use the bathroom anyway."

"Okay, take which one you want."

You didn't even notice that Oscar was watching the two of you closely.

You used the bathroom and sat on the bed to look through Pedro's suitcase. You felt your phone slip out of your pocket, so you took it out and set it aside. Then you noticed the navy blue sweatshirt Pedro was wearing earlier. You put it on and smiled as you smelled his perfume. When you got back to the fire, you took your seat and started talking to the others. At three o'clock in the morning, everyone was tired and slowly began to return to their temporary homes. You were going to do it too, but not before Pedro hugged you and kissed your head.

"Goodnight, Sunshine."

"Night, Pedrito ."

You gave him one last hug and walked towards your beach house. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Oscar grab Pedro's elbow and pull him aside. You didn't care. They were very close and always had things to discuss.

You threw yourself on your bed with a big smile. You wanted to check your phone when you realized you left it in Pedro's house. You groaned and got up. However, when you were about to enter Pedro, you heard Oscar's voice through the ajar door.

"Dude, you're exaggerating."

"Leave me alone, I didn't do anything. You can see I don't have Y/N here."

You were about to leave when you realized they were talking about you.

Oscar sighed heavily.

"You were about to let it go. You said you'd distance yourself, and what are you doing... You stick to her like a horny teenager during the dance, and then... "You want my hoodie" How old are you?

Your heart was beating like crazy.

"It doesn't mean anything to her anyway and... I just wanted her to have fun and forget about Tyler."

Oscar snorted as if he didn't believe his friend's words at all.

"You have to stop it, Pedro. Loving Y/N is destroying you. You don't date other women. You don't start serious relationships..."

You wanted to keep listening, but Oscar moved closer to the entrance, and you were afraid he'd see you. Besides, you thought you'd heard enough. You decided to go back to your cottage and watch from the window when Oscar left Pedro.

The waiting was a nightmare. You jumped and squealed and bit your lip.

Pedro loved you!!! He loved you!!! You were so happy. You finally can told him the truth. Poor guy thought he meant nothing to you. You had to change it.

As soon as you saw that Oscar left Pedro's cottage, you ran to the mirror. You fixed your hair and makeup. You almost ran outside and in less than five minutes you were on the doorstep of the beach house. You knocked lightly and entered. Pedro was sitting on the bed looking tired. You giggled like a teenager.

"You are not sleep yet, old man?"

He lifted his head and looked at you surprised.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?"

You smiled at him and winked at him.

"I left my phone on your bed while I was getting your sweatshirt."

He turned around and when he saw your cell phone he nodded. You shifted restlessly from foot to foot. You couldn't wait any longer. Maybe it was the alcohol still coursing through your veins, but you just let it out.

"I love you."

"What?"

"I love you Pedro, I..."

Pedro jumped to his feet and shook his head furiously.

"NO!"

You were surprised by the anger you saw in his eyes.

"You're drunk," he growled.

Now you felt angry.

"No more than you," you gasped. "I know what I'm saying and you don't have to hide it anymore. Don't get upset. I accidentally overheard what Oscar was saying."

"You obviously didn't hear everything Y/N. You didn't hear me tell him that I don't want to love you, that it's just a problem..."

You felt like someone had punched you in the face.

"I'm a problem?"

Pedro huffed in annoyance and ran a hand over his face.

"Not you. My love for you is the problem. I'm not in a place where I'm supposed to love someone. Maybe I never will be. You're younger and you live a quiet life with no paparazzi. Do you really want to ruin it all for some fleeting feeling?"

You clenched your hands into fists.

"I've loved you for a long time, you fool!"

"Stop! Why are you ruining everything?! Why did you have to love me back?!"

 You couldn't believe that the same Pedro who hugged you when you cried was standing in front of you. The same one who brought you coffee in bed and kissed you on the forehead when you fell asleep. A complete stranger was standing in front of you. You couldn't hold back your tears anymore.

Pedro, seeing this, suddenly regained his composure. He looked at you resignedly.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I never meant to make you cry, but... I really don't want to love you."

He took a step towards you, but you jumped back. You quickly ran to where you left your phone and shouted:

"Leave me! Never come near me again!!!”

Then you just ran out of his beach house and locked yourself in yours. For a while you wondered if Pedro would try to get to you, but apparently he took your words to heart. You cried all night, and in the morning you packed up and called a taxi. By the time everyone woke up, you were already halfway home.

 Only one person saw you leave. His brown and tear-filled eyes watched intently as you disappeared from his life on forever.

*

Up all night on another red-eye I wish we never learned to fly Maybe we should just try To tell ourselves a good lie Didn't mean to make you cry Maybe won't you take it back? Say you were tryna make me laugh And nothing has to change today You didn't mean to say "I love you" I love you and I don't want to, ooh

Billie Eilish- I love you (cover/ male version)

Part II

[damn-it-a-hogwarts-legacy-blog]

Ominis x GN!MC Headcanons (SFW and NSFW)

While I enjoy just about every HC about Ominis I’ve ever read, I’ve never found any full sets of HCs that totally line up 100% with how I personally imagine Ominis in a relationship. So I’m writing down my own set of HCs to add to the pile 😌💚

SFW

It takes Ominis a very long time to fall in love. He doesn’t just fall for the first person who shows him kindness or even the first person to confess their feelings for him. He needs to know he can trust someone with his heart, and that usually takes a long time with a close friendship beforehand.

When he does fall in love, though, oh my god does he fall in love. He would lay down his life for his partner and is perfectly willing to be a partner for life if MC is too; he’s not interested in messing around or being casual.

He is also gradual in warming up to each step in the relationship. He wants to take every part one step at a time to think about it beforehand. He won’t jump into everything right away. He’s not unenthusiastic, he just prefers to take it slow.

PDA is not his style at all (with some exceptions mentioned later). He will gladly hold hands or give a kiss on the cheek, but true affection is reserved for when he’s somewhere private with MC.

His favorite gesture to receive is MC’s pinky finger hooked around his own. He will blush and get a cute little smile across his face. His favorite gesture to give is hugging and/or cuddling. Holding MC brings him a lot of comfort.

If MC wears something with a texture he really likes, he will find every opportunity to touch MC. He loves shiny, silky fabrics the most. He loves how they slip through his fingers.

He doesn’t need sight to be able to tell MC they’re beautiful, and he will take every opportunity to do so. He hopes to receive the same kind of attention in return.

He’s a total gentleman with MC, but he adores causing mayhem, too. He desperately wants to be with someone who will also love getting into mischief with him.

Ominis has an insatiable sweet tooth. Sebastian has long since given up trying to keep any of his candy from Ominis; Ominis will find it and steal it. MC can expect the same treatment. If MC surprises him with one of his favorites (anything with chocolate is a good bet), he will even offer to share. :)

Ominis’ ideal date would be something where he and MC could share meaningful conversation. A picnic on a warm, sunny day would make him the happiest wizard in the world.

Whether he is 15 or 45, Ominis wants every day with MC to be full of love. He hopes to never forget to say “I love you” and hold their hand or cuddle with them.

Names of affection are the way to his heart. He will almost instantly come up with one for MC, and will be overjoyed to hear MC surprise him with one too.

He sometimes struggles with affection. He would ask that MC be patient with him as he unlearns old, neglectful habits from his family and heals old wounds. There are some things he will struggle with for the rest of his life. His healing isn’t linear, either; he has good days and bad days in terms of his ability to give and receive affection.

He is aware that his eyes look unusual, and he might be uncomfortable with MC affectionately commenting on them or anything else related to his blindness until later in their relationship. But with some time, he might come to appreciate hearing MC compare his eyes to nebulas or the ocean.

Ominis cries easily, so MC shouldn’t be surprised to see him tear up if he’s really happy or sad. Apologies for arguments will almost always be tearful.

NSFW

In the beginning, Ominis will need a lot of encouragement and positive reinforcement. He will be slow and a bit hesitant, and ask a lot of questions; sexual affection is very serious/intense to him and he wants to get it right with MC.

His wand gets set aside during anything sexual. He would rather that all contact with MC be direct. He wants to be as close to MC as possible, and tools like his wand would only get in the way. As a result, he doesn’t see anything particularly interesting or exciting about trying to incorporate his wand into sexual play.

He’s done his homework—if MC is female, he will have already done as much as possible to study up on what to expect and what she might like the most. He wants to make a very good first impression.

With some privacy, he is very handsy. He has to memorize every square inch of MC’s body. He will find and remember every single sensitive spot, and expects MC to do the same to him.

Ominis is SO kinky. MC had better be prepared to be adventurous in the bedroom with him. This is an exception to the PDA rule, too—he will get away with as much as possible with MC in public if they’re in the mood. He gets very turned on by the idea of things like MC walking in on him masturbating, sharing them with Sebastian, finding a way to get MC off almost anywhere that isn’t their bed, breeding kinks, and dominating MC.

MC wearing the aforementioned textures is a good way to ensure Ominis’ hands will be all over MC. He cannot wait to savor taking those clothes off of MC.

Ominis feels very frustrated when he wants some alone time with MC and can’t get it. The energy from that frustration comes out in the bedroom in the form of being possessive and/or needy.

Dirty talk is extremely important to him—not just for how excited he gets, but because his hearing is so important for navigating both within and outside the bedroom. Many times, he will initiate by whispering to MC all the things he wants to do to them.

His stamina and self control are scarily good. He’s often ready for round two a lot sooner than MC might expect. Unless they mutually decide otherwise, he will usually insist MC comes first. Their pleasure is massively gratifying to him.

His romantic and sexual attraction are often very closely linked. A private romantic moment has the potential to turn sexual with him unless MC requests otherwise.

Unless he’s having an off day, he’s quite happy to initiate most of the time. He feels excitement and pride at being able to successfully transition the moment into something sexual.

Speaking parseltongue is something that usually happens unintentionally in the context of sex. He will be extremely embarrassed the first time he realizes he’s said something in the wrong language, but with some encouragement, he might come to enjoy surprising MC with it now and then in the bedroom.

He deeply fears hurting MC emotionally or physically. He may become rough, but he instantly stops if he thinks he might actually be hurting MC. He will instantly fly into caretaker mode if it happens.

He doesn’t need a lot of foreplay and might get frustrated/impatient if it drags on too long for his liking.

Aftercare is really important to him—both giving and receiving. His favorite routine is a warm bath together before crawling into bed to fall asleep while cuddling.

[andreal831]

Klaus and Rebekah -- Abuse

I often call Klaus out for his treatment of his siblings. Just like I call out the majority of the characters for their behavior. However, Klaus stans get very offended when I do this, even though they are the ones who say they love how evil he is. I often get accused of being biased and 'hating' Klaus. I promise you, I don't. I do not care enough about any fictional character to hate them. I may not like them or they aren't my favorite characters, but I clearly still tolerate them enough to watch the show. It's also funny because I don't talk about my least favorite characters specifically because I don't like them. Therefore, the fact that I spend time talking about Klaus means I like him to an extent. I like aspects of his character and was disappointed in his lack of development.

Too many people want to erase his abuse towards Rebekah or, even worse, justify it. As someone with a degree in Psychology and who works every day with victims of abuse, I wanted to break this down for the fandom.

First, I cannot stand it when Klaus stans want to pretend Klaus's actions are justified. Abuse is never justified. Mikael's treatment of Klaus was not okay even if Mikael thought he was creating a strong warrior. And Klaus' treatment of Rebekah is not okay even if he thinks he knows best.

Second, being abused and having trauma does not justify or relieve responsibility from someone if they then become an abuser themselves. It does happen, unfortunately, but they need to be held responsible as abusers.

Third, there are different types of abuse. One is not more damaging than another, they are all terrible and cause long-lasting trauma.

Psychical Abuse

"Involves the use of physical violence, or threats of it, to maintain power over an individual. Because of this, survivors are afraid and uncertain when more abuse will occur. This often reinforces the regular use of other, more subtle, types of abuse."

Physical abuse is the one that is talked about the most because it is so easy to see. Klaus has been physically abusing Rebekah for about 900 years. He does it so frequently that she often flinches away from him. She never knows what to expect from him, if he is going to be a loving brother or revert back to her abuser. This creates its own trauma as she loves the caring side of her brother but is terrified of what he can turn into. It's part of the reason they have such a codependent bond. She still sees the brother she loves and wants to save him.

The first moment of physical abuse that we see is after the Hunters dagger their family and Klaus slaughters them all. Klaus grabs her roughly and screams in her face. This is after Rekekah wakes up covered in blood and sees the man she loves dead. She is clearly terrified of Klaus in this scene. People will try to justify this and say Klaus was "in the right" since Rebekah shouldn't have trusted the Hunter. But, I'll refer you back to my first point, we do not blame victims for their abuse, we do not justify abusers in their actions. Rebekah did not plot against her family. She made a mistake in trusting someone, a mistake that everyone in that family has made. Hell, Klaus is sleeping with Genevive while she is actively trying to murder his child. He sleeps with Aurora while she kidnaps Rebekah and throws her into the ocean. But Rebekah was in love with the Hunter. Even after what he did, she still buried him in peace. Klaus was not in love with the women he allowed close to him and hurt his family. He does not have a moral high ground. And even if he did, again, we do not justify abuse.

This event starts a cycle of abuse. Klaus holds onto the weapons, even though, at this time he is not any stronger than his siblings and they cannot be used against him. He doesn't do it to protect them but to threaten them. Anytime they disagree with him, he threatens to take years away from them, to strip them of their bodily autonomy. They are so scared of those daggers that they won't even stand against Klaus for each other.

We don't see much of their lives, but in every era after this, we see Klaus physically abusing Rebekah. He is constantly waving the daggers around and using them against her. This is physical abuse. He is stripping her bodily autonomy away from her and taking years of her life away from her. We don't know how many times this happens but we know she lost 14 years of her life in the span of 200 years, so I can only imagine how much of her life she truly missed out on.

In the 1800s, he threatens her away from Marcel and when she doesn't obey him, he daggers her and costs her 52 years of her life. In 1920, he daggers her for wanting to be with Stefan, taking 90 years of her life away. In Season 4 TVD, he daggers her for months because she doesn't want to help him make his hybrids.

He has no problem choking her and breaking her neck after he left her to be abused and tortured by vampire hunters. He compels Marcel to kill her witch body if she disobeys him. Not to mention the sanitorium episode where she is running, scared for her life from her brother. He constantly threatens her with bodily harm if she goes against him.

Emotional Abuse

"Includes non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten someone. These behaviors are often more subtle and hard to identify but are just as serious as other types of abuse."

Even as a human Klaus is condescending to Rebekah, telling her she cannot play with knives because she is a girl, despite the fact that Rebekah is the only one of his siblings who has ever been brave enough to stand up to Mikael. I know it is the times, but as a reminder, Viking women often wielded swords.

Klaus emotionally manipulates Rebekah from early on. He continues to gaslight her and make her emotionally dependent on him. He even jokes about his abuse to her and their siblings, often make jokes about daggering them and finding a place to store them if they disagree.

The first time is right after they are turned when Klaus tells Rebekah their father killed their mother. This is a lie. He killed Esther and he knows it. He tells Rebekah that so she won't leave him. Even if it comes from a place of fear, this is emotional manipulation. He does not allow Rebekah to make an informed decision. Their entire vow is based on this lie.

Klaus is very good at framing himself as the victim and making his siblings feel guilty, even when he has done the same or worse. He refers to himself as their "bastard-brother" often and talks about them abandoning him, which is just a lie. Rebekah and Elijah never once abandoned him for 900 years. Elijah only left to lead Mikael away and the only time we see Rebekah leave is when she is daggered. Yes, Rebekah begins to act in reaction to Klaus' abuse, but it takes about 700 years of being abused before she even does this. Also, you can't use Rebekah calling Mikael as an explanation since he didn't find out about that until 2012/2013.

I would also like to point out, Klaus is celebrated for killing his abuser but Rebekah is condemned for 'trying' to kill hers. I also hold that she didn't actually want him dead, she acted in pain and instantly regretted it. He is also the one who abandons her multiple times, even leaving her in Mystic Falls after she has been daggered for 90 years.

Klaus has no compassion for Rebekah's feelings. He is constantly belittling her for loving or caring for others. He would often make comments, especially in front of others, about her being stupid or naive. Like making fun of her love for Alexander in front of Stefan or making fun of her in front of Marcel. This is a very common way for abusers to control their victims. If the victim feels small and insignificant, they do not feel brave enough to leave. He constantly makes her feel like she is nothing, that she has nothing so she has no choice but to stay with him.

He lets her think he is dead for days, despite what he knows it will do to her. When he reveals himself, he leaves her in the hands of self-declared vampire hunters and makes no move to rescue her even later.

And then Klaus' moment of 'growth' is when he doesn't kill her in the cemetery in Season 1, but "sets her free." Again, this is a way for him to exercise his control over her life. He is exiling her but frames it in a way that he is the good guy. He has complete control over her life still. She is not allowed to return to see Marcel, Hayley, Elijah, or anyone. She only is able to return when Klaus needs her.

Sexual Abuse

"Sexual abuse is when a partner controls the physical and sexual intimacy in a relationship. This often involves acting in a way that is non-consensual and forced."

I think we can all admit, Klaus and Rebekah have a very strange relationship. He is very possessive of her and it often comes across as a toxic boyfriend.

For some reason, Rebekah has to ask her brothers' permission to turn her boyfriend, Emil, into a vampire. Further showing her lack of autonomy. Klaus laughs at her and shames her for her love life. He then takes it a step further and throws Emil off the balcony, proving to Rebekah once again that she is not allowed to have anyone in her life outside of him. He even does it with his siblings when he sees Rebekah and Elijah acting too close, he attempts to victimize himself, pretending they are excluding him because he is their half-brother, rather than for the real reason that he has hurt them once again.

The next romantic interest for Rebekah is Marcel. I'm not going to get into the problems there, but we do need to acknowledge the grooming that occurred. But that is not why Klaus is opposed to the relationship. He doesn't want Rebekah to pursue Marcel because he views them as being his. He doesn't want them to have anything in their life outside of him. When she disobeys, he punishes her. He doesn't punish Marcel even though Marcel was the one who pursued her. He only punishes her. Not only does he dagger her, but he barters her life for Marcel's desire to become a vampire. He does this specifically to drive an even deeper wedge between Rebekah and Marcel, so that when he undaggers her after 52 years, she will not seek a relationship with Marcel.

Klaus then wants props for later "giving permission" for Marcel and Rebekah to have a relationship. It is completely sick that he thinks he is allowed to regulate his sister's love life.

Rebekah next forms an attachment with Stefan. She actually meets Stefan first, but because Klaus is jealous, he is constantly throwing fits in the 20s and wants to separate the two. When it is time to run, he doesn't give Stefan the chance to come with them. He compels Stefan to forget about them, despite it being Rebekah's boyfriend. Rebekah decides she wants to stay with him and he daggers her for 90 years for this 'betrayal.' In fact, he only releases her when he plans to use her against Stefan. When he is done with her, he abandons her in Mystic Falls to go create his own family of hybrids.

And if you think this is okay because Rebekah is 'breaking their vow,' I want you to really think about that. Rebekah is 900 years old and not allowed to essentially move out and start her own life because her older brother never learned to make his own friends/romantic partners.

I also think we need to evaluate the vow. While Klaus may have kept to the words of it, he did not keep to the meaning of it. "Always and forever" was meant to show their loyalty and love for each other. Not that they were not allowed to have their own lives. Klaus broke his vow by keeping them in a box and robbing years of their lives. That is not an act of love but an act of abuse.

When they are back in New Orleans, he is constantly using her past with Marcel against her. He blames her for the issues with Marcel even though he was the one who introduced Marcel to the family and supposedly raised him. It is just another way to emotionally manipulate her as well as control her romantic life.

And then at the end of The Originals, the only glimpse of remorse we see is that he tells Caroline to get the cure for Rebekah. He doesn't apologize for the thousand years of abuse he inflicted on her and acts like this one act (which he has very little to do with) will make up for the rest of it. Someone recently pointed out the timing of it. Klaus didn't want her to take the cure before, but now that he is dying, he is fine with it. Since the show did very little to show growth in his relationship with Rebekah, it's not out of the realm of possibility that he has it in his head that Rebekah will be able to join him in the afterlife sooner if she takes the cure.

All of this to say, Klaus spent 900 years abusing his sister. Yes, she began to react against him, but that doesn't make it okay for him to continue to abuse her. It is fine to like Klaus' character, but it is not fine to justify abuse. People suffer this type of abuse every day and justifying it on social media allows this abuse to continue to be justified in real life. Don't be so blinded by a fictional character as to hurt real-life victims.

[raointean]

RoP Teaser Trailer Breakdown!

First of all, I would like to say, I'm SO PSYCHED for this season! (Especially since we're going to get to see Elrond in action 🫠)

So, it starts off with a shot of saurbrand with Durin voicing over saying, "An evil, ancient and powerful, has returned!" Obviously, the shot is referencing Sauron and how he’s ancient, powerful, and evil, but I think that that's not what Durin is actually talking about in-universe. I think he’s actually referencing the balrog!

Honestly, given the scenes of panic and destruction in Khazad-Dûm we see later in the trailer, I think there's a good chance the season finale will deal with the fall of Khazad-Dûm at the hands of the balrog.

The next shot is this roiling mass of... things that take on a spider-like form. Obviously, that's going to be Shelob.

Next is a clip with Galadriel and Elrond, along with three elven warriors in a defensive circle. I'll be honest, I have no idea where they are or who/what they're fighting, but I am LIVING for Galadriel's braid crown. Gorgeous, practical, 10/10.

Also, we finally get to see Elrond fight! He toted that sword around all last season and didn't pull it out once! And, I love his new hair! Robert Aramayo, bless his heart, has a VERY angular face and the slicked back style was doing him no favors. It could just be messy hair in this one scene, but it's beautiful.

Next is a shot of the hands of one of the Rhûnic witches we saw last season with blood on her hands. Maybe some kind of blood sacrifice?

After that is a similarly lit shot of a temple (?) with a swarm of moths. I... have no idea what that's about, but I'm excited to find out!

Then there's a brief voice-over of either the Stranger (whom I maintain is definitely Gandalf) or maybe one of the southlanders? saying, "He worms his way inside your mind." As the scene cuts to the golden tree in Lindon as worm-like roots come out of the ground and begin to spread.

I think it looks a little like the mass that made up Shelob, but I don't really know what significance that could have? I can't imagine her crossing Middle Earth to bite the tree like Ungoliant did, but who knows. I also don't know the significance of who's speaking, but that's mostly because I can't tell who's speaking.

Then there's a quick cut to orcs and trolls on the move, presumably in Mordor.

After that, we're back in Ost-in-Edhil as Celebrimbor is watching a bright, orange light with a dark shape in the middle, like someone's coming through. It almost looks like... an eye 🤔

It's GOT to be the coming of Annatar. There's literally nothing else it could be!

Someone else, either Galadriel or Míriel, says "I think he has been here... I think he has been here all along!" Obviously, they're talking about Sauron and how he's been spying on them, making me think it's Galadriel speaking.

Then a shot of Ost-in-Edhil in confusion as Annatar stalks through the town square, a smirk on his face. This could be the beginning of the end of Ost-in-Edhil (and Celebrimbor) but I really don't think they'd do that so soon. Maybe he just got done with the Dwarf rings?

Next, there's a shot of Númenor's coastline along with the release date (August 29th!) then a shot of Galadriel and Elrond on horseback going... somewhere. There's mountains and my first thought was Númenor, but that wouldn't really fit. Maybe this is the discovery of the hidden valley?

What do we think?

Then, it's Míriel in the ocean with a giant sea-monster, possibly the one that attacked the southlanders' raft. I think she's having some sort of vision. Like a "this is the final fate of your people" sort of thing. That or Ar-Pharazon made her walk the plank lol.

Then there's shots of Disa, King Durin III, and a boulder breaking a bridge in Khazad-Dûm as someone says, "Every soul in middle earth is in danger," reinforcing my idea that we're going to see Khazad-Dûm become Moria. Also, Disa seems angry, and Durin III seems to be stuck in a cave? Coupled with the LITERAL BROKEN BRIDGE, it almost makes me think that Disa's gone full Lady MacBeth and is trying to get her husband into power.

Then a shot of Elendil in a crowd being pushed back by soldiers. Maybe something to do with the Faithful? Maybe Míriel's being executed? I have no idea.

The next shot is of Galadriel screaming which, while beautiful to hear, had no context, so I have no clue what it is. It's immediately followed by an orc licking his knife.

Next is a shot of a city (I think it's Lindon, but it could be Ost-in-Edhil or Armenelos) with the words "Darkness will bind them" immediately followed by a shot of the three elven rings on people's fingers. One is definitely Galadriel, another Gil-Galad, and I THINK the other is Celebrimbor.

Then the leaves of the great tree in Lindon turning from green to gold very quickly (I have no idea what that is. Could just be them showing off the tone?)

Durin III picks up a ring of power. I could really see this being a major point of conflict in the coming season. We already know that political tension is rising in Khazad-Dûm: Durin IV has been disinherited by his father, Disa wants Durin IV to be king, Durin III is against mining mithril while Durin IV and Disa are all for it, and presumably there's a brother in there somewhere who would very much like a chance at the throne. A ring of power in that situation would be like throwing a torch into a tinderbox!

Next, we see Arondir flipping and shooting an orc with Isildur in the background, which means we're going to see Arondir and Isildur team up! Not as cool as Elrond and Isildur would be, but there's still plenty of time for that. I think Arondir is probably trying to help him get home to Númenor.

After that is a shot of Númenor with a GIANT eagle coming in for a landing and then it switches to a shot of Ar-Pharazon drawing his sword in front of the eagle.

Y'all, this is INTERESTING! Giant eagles are signs/emissaries/agents of Manwë, the head dude of the valar! In book canon, Númenor is destroyed and Ar-Pharazon dies because he challenged the valar in his pursuit of immortality. Here, it looks like he's swearing to fight FOR the valar, like he has the backing of the gods. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THIS SCENE OR IT'S GOING TO EAT ME!!!

Next is a shot of Theo crying, probably at his mom's funeral. (Bronwyn is dead, folks. Super dead. I don't know how it happened yet, but it will probably be offscreen as I heard the actress has decided to take a break from acting. We need to be respectful of that though, even if it leads to weird narrative choices, because real world problems trump fantasy 😔)

Then, there's a short shot of Isildur looking up (🤷‍♂️) and, more importantly, a shot of flaming catapults firing on Ost-in-Edhil.

There's one of two things this could be. Either, it's Sauron's army trying to conquer the city to get to the rings, or more likely, it's elvish forces (led by Elrond?) trying to free Ost-in-Edhil from Sauron's hold and rescue Celebrimbor. If THAT’S the case, it makes more sense that the Galadriel and Elrond riding horses shot was them finding the hidden valley, AND that means we might also get to see Celebrimbanner 😈.

Next is a shot of the new Adar, who doesn't look half bad, followed Gandalf the stranger in Rhûn hitting his staff on the ground and I think creating a wind. I think we're really going to see him come into his power this season!

Then, we see Galadriel pulling back a FLAMING arrow and blowing up a regiment of orcs. Then Elrond leading a cavalry charge. I'm guessing this is all during the attack to break the siege of Ost-in-Edhil.

After that, a very disheveled looking Celebrimbor drops seven (SEVEN!!! ALMOST DEFINITELY THE DWARF RINGS) into the forge fire. If I had to guess, I would say this shot is some time during his captivity and maybe he's escaped and is trying to destroy the rings of power he knows Annatar/Sauron had a hand in.

Next, we cut to a shot of Annatar in the debris of the forge (possibly destroyed when Celebrimbor tried to destroy the rings?) surrounded by sword wielding elves. Interestingly, they do NOT look like Elrond’s forces. Instead, they look more like Celebrimbor's own workmen. We can also see Celebrimbor in this shot WITH A MISSING HAND!!! (Seriously, what is with the Tolkien stories and losing a hand? First Maedhros, then Beren (as well as someone else I can't remember right now) and now poor Celebrimbor!?)

Galadriel gasps, "He is Sauron" and Annatar turns his hands and explodes the guards away, which immediately cuts to an explosion in a mountain valley. The smoke clears to reveal what I think is going to be the foundations of Barad-Dûr.

All in all, I think we're in for a TREAT this season with lots of Elrond, lots of dwarves, and LOTS of Celebrimbor whump. Honestly, I think we may even have a shot at seeing Celebrimbanner during the season finale! I doubt we're getting the fall of Númenor yet, the the fall of Khazad-Dûm is DEFINITELY on the table. SO EXCITED!!!

[follows-the-bees]

Stede's costume color analysis

Ed wore red and purple to symbolize his love for Stede in S1. Stede wears red (love), yellow/cream (light and the beach), and bluegreen (mermaid) to symbolize his love for Ed in S1.

The red starts around his neck in the same style as the black cravat while they are separated. It is reminiscent of Stede's style from last season, while the rest of the clothes are more piratey, and reflect his new position in society and piracy. They are also rumpled and soiled, just like the mindset of this couple while they are apart.

The red then moves to the stitching right before and during their reunion. It is now a part of and cemented into the fabric, and not around his neck, which resembled a noose (like the black cravat symbolism of last season.) His love is stitched into his heart.

Ultimately the red becomes a whole suit and shirt when the couple reunite. Ed no longer needs the small red silk to represent his love for Stede because it is right there in front of him, Stede is literally covered in their shared love.

Shades of tan/cream (sandy beach) and yellow are used to show how they are the light (lighthouse) in each other's lives. Stede wears this light cream color before reuniting with Ed and then once again while they are still a bit rocky during episode 4 and the beginning of 5.

Just like with the lantern shining on Ed's face when he wakes up from purgatory and the candle in the background shining on Ed's face during the "I love everything about you" scene, this light color symbolizes the beacon of light (love) Ed radiates toward Ed.

And last, we have the color blue - like the ocean. While on the Red Flag, their uniforms are blue (I love this because it shows Zheng using and knowing how important indigo is, reinforcing her buying it for cheap from Spanish Jackie.) He wears this the entire time Ed is in Purgatory and then when Stede steps into the water-logged cabin to say goodbye to what he thinks is Ed dead, the symbolism of blue is most prominent. This blue clothing, and stepping into the water, shows that Stede is meeting Ed - the mermaid - in the water and he helps as Ed chooses to live, chooses life, while Stede swims next to him and gives him hope.

And last, we have the blue shirt in the last three episodes of the show. It is the color of the sea, and also the color of the robe Ed wears the morning after. (Also the morning after, Stede is wrapped in blankets that make him look like a mermaid and Ed in a robe the color of the ocean.) This blue shirt is throughout the episodes: the lunch date, the break up, the getting back together on the beach, and in the last scene when they choose to slow down and figure themselves out.

All of these colors Stede wears ties back to Ed and his love for him. It is a visual symbolism of their deeper connection.

See also my analysis on how Stede's lowering neckline shows his descent into piracy.

Bonus: MerStede

He is a shiny goldfish, a bright beacon of hope and love.

[nixtwix]

"Mother fucker , don't you dare break that camera it's the fifth one"

This Au...has been stuck on my for you page.... For 3 WEEKS! I don't even look this stuff up! It started when someone I followed made a sea creature version of Silver which was awesome...then Shadow... THEN MORE KEPT POPPING UP! And I just finished reading the Rewound comic which you should definitely check out when you have time. So I thought "screw it, lemme have a swing at it."

Personality: Mighty at least in Rewound, is kinda feral. but I have a theory that deep down, when the fighting and danger is aside and you actually meet him. he's the known Strong lovable goober everyone knows and loves. However. I also took into account that given circumstances and the fact the ocean can be harsh. Mighty has some needless to say, Killer instincts and sometimes can get carried away with the hunt if it means providing for Ray and his friends. when it comes to the average Human or Mobian. Mighty can be highly hostile to them, given how most of the humans/Mobian's either hunt him, leave nets in the ocean to get tangled or capture him for experiments. so needless to say you need to have a lot of guts to try and give this guy therapy. He Travels the ocean with Ray, and they help each other hunt. Mighty has grown affection toward Ray from hunting pack, to his little brother. though unlike Ray's High sociability, Mighty is a little more shy, and thrown off guard if any other sea monsters /mermaids hear of him. Due to Ray falling into fishing or research boats often, mighty has to cause a few shipwrecks to keep Ray and any other creatures from being found out.

Design: Mighty was inspired by a Variety of prehistoric armoured marine life. mainly the dunkleosteus so mighty can keep his shell. a cat fish, And (at least I tried to add) Caribbean Reef shark. Mainly because I looked up what shark species is fast but nice, and Caribbean shark was top of the list. and while this might not be seen in the picture, with mighty and Ray, to help with traveling, they're colors or in mighty'rs case skin tone are more vibrant the closer they are to the surface and the sun. including they're eyes. and about his Ear: He has a tag on his ear, but after a fight with a shark some of her ear along with the tag got munched off. though, his ears and antenna looking things work as a way to sense things in the ocean and to Amplify his Echo location (which mighty and Ray have to help find eachother.) which sounds like a whale sound mixed with an eery whistle. Ablilities: Mighty is a powerful swimmer and has his super strength with his tail,arms and of course jaw. Mighty's jaw is so powerful it has been known to tear into metal. The shell Armour on his back reinforces his strength kind of like a shield which is hard to nearly impossible to destroy. he also has tough skin which makes it so that it will take some hits to actually damage him.

[jadesea33]

My thoughts on The Book of Carol teaser/sneak peak.

I know I’m going to be reiterating what many of you have already said, but I recently had a friend remind me that every voice matters and so I’m going to add mine to the chorus.

First: I’m SO excited to have Carol back. I really, truly am. I adored her scene in the sneak peek. It felt true to her character and Melissa’s acting was sublime (as always). I loved seeing her riding Daryl’s bike and using his crossbow. It reinforced her emotional drive to find him and what we all anticipate the series to now be about: her relationship with Daryl, the bond she shares with him.

But where, in what we saw of Daryl in these clips, did we see anything related at all to his bond with Carol? Nowhere, is the answer. Which makes it all feel incredibly one-sided.

And look, I understand Daryl has things he’s dealing with in France. My issue is that I don’t want to see Carol hurt. She’s risking her life traveling across the ocean for him and so far we’ve only been given ambiguous crumbs that might suggest Daryl has maybe thought of her on occasion while he’s been away from her.

Would it have been so hard to include one sound clip of Daryl talking specifically about Carol? Because I don’t think it would have been and even just that, one single mention of him thinking about Carol, would go a long way for me in feeling more confident that Carol will get her happy ending. Because whether romantic or not, it’s been made clear that her happiness lies with Daryl. I want to know he feels the same because she deserves that. They both deserve that.

Okay. I could go on and on about this but I won’t. I do want to make one more note though: I know some of you think this kind of talk is being negative or that those of us who speak like this are just trying to spoil the fun. But I promise that negativity or spitefulness is not where my thoughts are coming from. They are coming from a place of hope. Because I care so deeply about these characters that I want to see them treated with the love and respect they’ve earned over the course of so many years.

Why should we settle for whatever it is we can get, when we can state what it is that we want? With any luck, TPTB will be listening and will make decisions based on our desires because we (Carylers) are their target audience and we all, ultimately, want the same thing: for Daryl and Carol to be together and happy. Because they are soulmates. Because they both deserve a happy ending. And we’ve been given scene upon scene, year after year, that tells us their happy ending is with each other.

If you’ve read this, thank you. And I send love to you all.  ❤️

[kpopsunbaes]

Big Ocean's Debut

On April 20th, the boy group Big Ocean debuted on Korea's Day of People with Disabilities. This group interests me because all three members have hearing difficulties. To my knowledge, this is the first time in K-Pop history that an entire group was intentionally recruited and debuted with hearing challenges.

"Hope"

Their debut song is a remake of H.O.T's "Hope". I've talked about this song at length in the past, but since that post, I've come to learn more context around it. For example, when I made that post, I wasn't aware that prior to its release, H.O.T did a tour in the US and donated the proceeds to help Korea during the IMF Crisis.

Kangta made "Hope" to comfort people who were going through a rough time regardless of what the exact situation was. Since its release, it's been covered countless times. It's also standard for it to be the final song at SMTown concerts; most notably during the New Year's Eve concerts during Covid as a final message to the audience that whatever your life is like, never give up hope that things will get better.

H.O.T & Disabilities

If you're only familiar with H.O.T through "Candy" or Reply 1997, you probably aren't aware of the overall theme of their discography. Every title track from their 5 albums commented on a social issue.

1st Album (We Hate All Kinds of Violence): Warrior's Descendants - Condemned bullying and bystanders who observe but don't interfere.

2nd Album (Wolf and Sheep): Wolf and Sheep - Ranted about a hospital massacre by North Koreans at the start of the Korean War.

3rd Album (Resurrection): Line Up - Criticized how rigid Korea can be.

4th Album (I-YAH): I-YAH - Demanded accountability from all those whose actions led to 23 deaths in the Sealand Training Center Fire, and expressed the nation's grief.

5th Album (Outside Castle): Outside Castle - Criticized people who discriminate against those with disabilities.

It's with Outside Castle in particular that we see the group's stance. It was the first title track produced by the members. One version of the album's cover art has Braille on it. The choreography for "Outside Castle" includes sign language at the end that reinforces the message that people with disabilities should be loved just the same as people without disabilities. The story version of the music video has a storyline about an athlete no longer able to run after an accident, but after spending time recovering, he's able to race again.

While Heejun took the helm for Outside Castle, it wasn't the only time an H.O.T member was involved with a song dealing with disabilities. The latest example of this was seen last year, when on April 22nd, "When I Close My Eyes" was released by Kangta and Lee Areum (of the Hanbit Arts Troupe, which is a performance group for the visually impaired).

Big Ocean & Glow

This trio is comprised of members Ji-Seok (지석), Chan-Yeon (찬연), and Hyun-Jin (현진). They are under Parastar Entertainment, which currently has Cha Haley as CEO.

Together, they're paving the way to show how idols with hearing impairments can be successful. In this JooAng Daily article, two accommodations, in particular, were mentioned for the members, "A large screen with a visual metronome kept the members in sync with the music, and their wristwatches also vibrated on each beat." They trained for about a year and a half. None of the members intended on being idols before they found out about the Big Ocean project, yet they gave it a chance and made it to debut.

"Glow" is their debut single. While H.O.T's song was known by its Korean name "Light (빛)" and English name "Hope", "Glow" is also a correct translation for 빛. This is the first time SM has allowed a remake of the song (outside of SMTown) and they were on board for this. Their debut performance was on MBC's Show! MusicCore, and the choreography included Korean, American, and International sign language -- which made it even more inclusive.

Wrap Up

Big Ocean is a group to keep tabs on. The way Parastar Entertainment prepared for their debut could potentially be a blueprint for future groups with hearing impairments.

As an H.O.T fan, I'm fond of this remake because it understands the point of the original and was executed with sincerity. Additionally, I hope they do a remake of "Outside Castle" later in their career. Just like Suju was right for "Haengbok" and NCT Dream was right for "Candy", I believe Big Ocean was the perfect group to remake "Hope".

Hopefully, this group will have many years together and open the door for idols with other disabilities to debut.

Sources to Consider:

Big Ocean's Instagram Page

Big Ocean's Melon Page

Big Ocean's Twitter

Big Ocean's YouTube Channel

JooAng Daily's article about Big Ocean with a focus on the members

JooAng Daily's article about their company's approach

Yeonhap News article about Big Ocean's debut

[heliads]

'time to spare' - genya safin

Based on this request: "my beloved male Squaller is somehow stuck with Nikolai and they just… bicker and ma boi is just teasing him with Zoya like “I know you love her! Because you look like me when I talk about Genya! … and Zoya does too. When she talks about you.”"

masterlist

Keeping a king safe is a difficult and dangerous thing. The task is made exponentially more challenging when the king you’re meant to be protecting is even a little bit obstinate or hotheaded. When the king has lived a separate life as Sturmhond, one of the most infamous privateers to grace the True Sea, you might as well give up hope. Nikolai Lantsov may be the current king of Ravka, but that doesn’t seem to have stopped him from taking just as many risks as when he had commanded warships on the open ocean.

As a Squaller, you’ve been blessed with gifts beyond what a normal man could ever dream of achieving. Over the years, you’ve honed your ability to control wind and air to a knifepoint’s accuracy. You can hear intruders coming from leagues away. You can steal breath from a man’s lungs in the blink of an eye. However, there is one thing you can’t do, and that is to talk Nikolai out of a suicide mission when he feels it’s the right course of action to take.

You had tried, this time. Really, you had. While returning home from an important meeting with Ravkan nobles situated near Tsibeya, Nikolai had heard that some important hostages were being held in a keep just a short distance over the Fjerdan border. He had insisted that he would lead a charge to rescue the hostages, and despite your arguing that this was a terrible idea, the attack had been launched accordingly. You and Nikolai had gone along with maybe half a dozen other Ravkan guards.

Despite your best intentions, however, you were caught in the act of freeing the hostages. Nikolai had directed a couple of his guards to take the hostages and run. Seeing as you haven’t heard of them since, you can assume that they got to freedom, but you and Nikolai weren’t so lucky. A pair of other soldiers are imprisoned in a cell down the hall, and you and Nikolai share a similar block. Your hands are chained above your head, giving you just enough room to sit on the stone floor and lean against a wall for some semblance of comfort. 

Since your hands are bound, you can’t summon your Squaller abilities and Nikolai can’t pick the lock from his angle. The only thing left to do, then, is to wait for the guards to get back to camp and bring reinforcements. Unfortunately, neither you nor Nikolai are very good at waiting.

Barely an hour or two has passed before the two of you start getting impatient. There are Fjerdan guards somewhere out in the hall, although they’ve been careful to keep out of sight so as to disguise their numbers.

Nikolai whistles quietly under his breath. “D’you reckon they’d give me a deck of cards if I promised not to break out of here?” He asks you. “I’m kind of bored.”

“Your hands are chained together,” you note. “How in the Saints’ name would you play cards?”

Nikolai frowns. “I hadn’t considered that. Maybe we could use our toes?”

“I’m not touching cards that your toes have touched,” you tell him.

Nikolai makes a face. “They’re royal toes. I hear some people would consider anything touched by my toes a holy relic.”

“I believe the fact that I don’t think that is a strong reason that you hired me in the first place,” you remind him. “You were afraid that I would sell off your used handkerchiefs or something.”

Nikolai nods slightly, accepting this. “It was a real concern. Of course, you could sell off my handkerchiefs even if you didn’t believe they were religious relics, but I appreciate you abstaining from that. It would be dreadfully difficult to explain to the palace seamstresses if I constantly needed new ones.”

“That would be awful,” you remark. “Also, keep your voice down. If these Fjerdans haven’t clued onto the fact that you’re the king, I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Of course, my trusted guard,” Nikolai says. He attempts to salute you, but the chains make it difficult to fully complete the gesture. “I assumed they would have known by now, though. I saw them sending a scout out. Plus, they kept pointing at my face. I know it’s irresistibly attractive, but there’s no need to single me out like that unless they suspect something.”

You roll your eyes. “Maybe they were commenting on the fact that they’d never seen such a vain prisoner in their entire lives.”

“Or maybe they suspected a Lantsov,” Nikolai murmurs. “I’m out of royal uniform since we were traveling. Unless they’d personally seen me before, they’d have no reason to suspect I was anything more than a highly placed guard.”

You shrug as best you can despite the chains. “True. Then the only thing we can do right now is make sure we’re not here when they send someone who can recognize your face.”

Nikolai glances obviously at the chains securing both of your wrists, then the locked cell door. “That makes perfect sense to me. What’s your plan for getting out?”

You meet his stare unblinkingly. “I’m just the muscle, your highness. I believe you’re the one who’s meant to be coming up with plans.”

Nikolai mutters a few uncharitable curses, then adds on, “I suppose you’re right about that. Maybe Zoya will come and save us all. She’s prone to fantastic rescues.”

You can’t help but chuckle at the soft expression that comes over his face. “Of course your first thought goes straight to Zoya.”

Nikolai narrows his eyes at you. “What exactly is that supposed to mean? I am perfectly capable of referring to my second in command. I thought that was expected of first in commands.”

You bite back a laugh. “Of course it is. It’s just that you’re hopelessly in love with her, and that makes the whole affair rather amusing to watch.”

Nikolai’s jaw drops. He attempts to swat you on the hands for that sort of remark, but he just can’t manage it with the position of his chains, so he settles instead for sort of aggressively tapping your boot with his. “How dare you? Take that back at once.”

This time, you can’t help a proud grin. “Of course I won’t. You’re stuck in here with me, so I’ll say what we’ve all been wanting to say for a long time. You are in love with Zoya Nazyalensky.”

Nikolai’s brows jump comically. “Oh, all of us, huh? I want names, L/N.”

“I’m not going to rat out my own men,” you say exasperatedly, “Besides, I’d have to tell you the names of everyone in Os Alta. Except Zoya, of course. For some reason, she’s just as oblivious as you are.”

“Don’t call Zoya oblivious,” Nikolai says fiercely.

You fight the urge to groan. “See? This is exactly what I’m talking about. You can’t go an hour without bringing her up or otherwise defending her honor. You’re in love, Nik. Admit it.”

Nikolai purses his lips, looking studiously out the bars of the cell door instead of at you. “I don’t have to do anything of the sort. This is pure speculation.”

“It is not speculation,” you insist. “I know you’re in love because you look just like me whenever I talk about Genya.”

Nikolai frowns. “I don’t talk about Genya. No more than my job requires, of course.”

For such a clever fox, Nikolai can be decidedly thick-headed when he puts his mind to it. You fight the urge to scream and instead carry on with your argument. “I should hope you’re not talking about my wife like that. I’m right, though. There are parallels here, Nikolai. Serious parallels. I’m in love with Genya and you’re in love with Zoya. Can we agree on that?”

Nikolai is silent for a moment. At last, the tentative peace in the cell is broken by his quiet question, “Do you really think she loves me?”

You snort. “You don’t even have to ask.”

“I do,” Nikolai tells you. He looks directly at you, as if he could tell your truth from lies by just the movement of your pupils. “Does Zoya love me?”

“Yes,” you say firmly. “She loves you just as much as you love her.”

Nikolai releases a breath, crumpling back against the cell wall again. “Saints. I didn’t even know.”

“You were scared to admit it was a possibility,” you correct. “But I think you did know.”

“Maybe,” Nikolai says. “Kings aren’t supposed to be scared.”

“Men are,” you say simply. “It’s not a bad thing. Saints know I was positively petrified to tell Genya how I felt.”

Nikolai chokes out a laugh. “Oh, I almost forgot about that. You were a mess for days leading up to it.”

You shrug. “And look where it got me. I’m a married man, Nikolai. Things work out.”

“Things work out,” he repeats slowly, going over the words like they were a mantra or a prayer.

Maybe he really did mean it as a prayer, because silence has hardly settled over the cell again before the door at the far end of the hall flies open, slamming into the wall with a deafening thud. The Fjerdan guards rise to meet the challenge, but they’re immediately forced to the ground by a mass of fierce wind so strong it might as well have been a solid wall.

A grin rises to your lips. You’ve only seen one Squaller quite so powerful as that. “Looks like you’ll get the chance to tell her sooner rather than later.”

Nikolai sits up interestedly. Seconds later, two women are standing in front of your cage door. The Squaller who had taken out the guards is unlocking the door, her sapphire kefta dotted slightly with ice crystals from the journey to the stronghold, but you can’t spare one glance at Zoya Nazyalensky, too interested in the the woman next to her, the one in the ruby kefta who’s beaming at you.

“Genya,” you croak out.

She smiles, flying into the cell the second Zoya gets the door open. She falls to her knees in front of you, hurriedly undoing your chains so she can take you into her arms the second the cuffs are off. You can feel the slow rush of blood and power returning to your veins, but that doesn’t feel half so good as being back with your wife.

“How did you find us?” You ask, cupping Genya’s face gently with your hands.

She smiles. “The scouts sent word as fast as we could. After that, we wasted no time saving you.”

“No, you didn’t,” Nikolai says. Zoya has let him out and they’re standing opposite each other, exchanging nervous and tentative glances. You know those sorts of looks, you’ve had your share of them with Genya.

You glance back at Genya, who’s smiling softly at the scene, and take her hand. “Let’s free the other guards,” you suggest quietly. “I think these two might want some time to talk.”

Genya nods, leading you back out into the hall. Once you’re free of the cell, you pull Genya in for a sweet kiss. “Thanks for the rescue,” you tell her.

She beams again. Alina Starkov may be the only known Sun Summoner, but you swear there’s pure sunlight in each one of Genya’s smiles. “Any time,” she says. “Just don’t make it a habit.”

“I’ll do my best,” you promise. It’s one oath you don’t mind swearing. Your favorite promise of all has already been made, but this one isn’t all that bad, either.

requested by @reinekes-fox, i hope you enjoy!

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @mayfieldss, @eclliipsed, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000, @baju69, @crazyhearttragedy, @budugu, @aoi-targaryen

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[silverwings22]

Song of the Sea: Chapter 2: The Exile

Chapter warning: Character injury, description of warfare

Series warning: explicit smut, alien anatomy (it's a monsterfucker fic, guys), major character injury, grief, canon typical violence, autistic meltdowns, and my terrible attempts at Mando'a

Previous Chapter:

Next Chapter:

The Exile

Tech had been more excited to meet the siren again than he initially thought he’d be. Three days had passed far too slowly for his taste, and his brothers noticed he was more distractible than usual. Hunter took it as the aftermath of a near death experience, and told the others to give him some space to decompress. 

That suited Tech just fine, and at midnight on the scheduled day he snuck out of the bunkroom as carefully as he knew how. The usually persistent rain had slowed, so he crouched by the docks edge to look for Shiani in the water below with his flashlight. 

It didn't take long for him to spot glowing eyeshine just at the bottom of the service ladder, so he clambered down carefully. 

She smiled when she saw him, lifting her head fully from the waves and offering him a hand. He jammed his rebreather into his mouth and nodded, reaching back until her fingers found his and a tentacle wrapped around his middle. She took him down, through a small underwater tunnel that led into the volcano cavern. When they popped up in their private little beach, she set him on the shore before hauling herself up. Faint blue bioluminescence pulsed along her sides and tentacles in the dark of the cavern, and he watched her pump the water out of her chest cavity though the gill slits on her side so she could take a breath of air.

“Good to see Tech again.” She signed. 

Tech nodded, reaching into the dry bag he'd brought and setting out four camping lanterns so they could see. Shiani's eyes brightened at the light, leaning over them with the fascination of a child. “Likewise.”

He strung the lanterns on a simple dart line and attached it to two outcroppings like industrial strength string lights. Shiani clapped her hands and made a series of cooing sing-song noises he could only interpret as happy. “Lights are pretty. Love lights.” 

He smiled, scooting over closer to her. “I brought you a comm device. It was Wrecker’s, but he broke it and I was able to repair and reinforce its water-resistant properties. It should now be fully waterproof.”

Shiani let him show it to her, comparing it to the one he wore on his wrist before he attached it to her own just above her manacles. “Comm device.” She repeated when he tapped it, leaning in. Up close, he could see a greenish discoloration on her left cheek, and a cut that had scabbed over in blue. It looked a little swollen, which was concerning considering the level of cleanliness that could be expected in the ocean.

“Yes… what happened here?” He gestured towards her face when she cocked her head to the side. She touched under the swelling and winced. 

“Argument with big brother.” 

He nodded. His brothers got into fights all the time, and Hunter and Crosshair came to blows about once a week. “It looks painful. I can bring bacta the next time.”

“Bacta.” She repeated aloud, determined to learn the language.

“Yes. It is a healing agent.” He explained, pulling out his datapad. “Here, if we are going to share ideas we should start with language. This is Arubesh, the written version of Basic.” 

“Arubesh.” Shiani smiled, looking at the screen as he typed and signed what he said so she could start understanding. She was a very quick learner, he found, memorizing the names of his tools and what his and her names looked like.

He showed her how to use her comm and started teaching her to read, deciding he liked teaching. She sat with her many limbs updrawn, hugging them as she concentrated. After several hours, she flapped her hands to get him to look at her. “What do you call those?” She pointed up out the mouth of the volcano. 

The rain had slacked up and the cloud cover was rolling away, revealing the sparkling shine of starlight. Shiani’s eyes were wide, mesmerized by it. Tech looked up to, and while he’d seen the sky many times he couldn’t help but look forward to the day he’d finally get into a ship and have his chance among them. “They are called stars.”

“Stars.” Shiani repeated, smiling softly. 

Tech nodded. “One day, after my training, I will board a ship and fly out among the stars to fight in a war.” He explained. 

“You’re a little boy, Tech. Shouldn’t be going to war. War is death.” She frowned, looking at him worriedly. 

“I will not be a boy much longer.” He shook his head. “We were designed to age rapidly until adulthood, then it will slow to normal human rates.”

Shiani’s frown deepened. “No childhood, and your life shorter. That’s terrible.”

“I do not mind.” He shrugged. “It is my purpose. We are clones, we were designed to be expendable.”

“Life is not expendable.” She wanted to scoop him into her arms and secret him away from Tipoca City, horrified that the longnecks had a new method of cruelty to inflict on the innocent of the galaxy. Tech was surely an innocent, with those big golden-brown eyes that looked back at her behind yellow lenses and messy auburn hair. He should have had a lifetime to worry about his dreams, not train for a war he clearly hadn’t started or chosen. “Whose war?”

“I am unsure. The information is tightly controlled by the longnecks.” 

Shiani sighed. “They’re bad people, Tech.”

“They made me, and my brothers.” He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, hoping she didn’t terminate this friendship they seemed to be forming. He liked talking to her. 

“Even bad people have to make something good every once in a while.” She sighed again, reaching for his face before pausing an inch from his cheek. “No touch.” She said aloud, chastening herself and putting the clawed hand back in her lap. 

Tech glanced at his comm. It was an hour until dawn, and he needed to be back and washed before Hunter smelled seawater on him. “I must return to Tipoca soon.” 

Shiani nodded. “I’ll take you back. Three more days?” 

“That sounds acceptable. You can contact me with the comm device, if I do not answer I will call you back as soon as I can.”

“Comm Tech. Tech comm back.” She beamed, offering him an arm to sweep him back to the dock. He was getting used to how fast she swam, and now that he’d waterproofed his goggles he could see the natural landscape underneath the support struts of the Tipoca. The most concerning part was the amount of scrap and garbage just outside of the cave walls. The city dumped most of its trash into the water, and it left behind a soggy landfill just underneath. Shiani took him right to the ladder this time, and hovered at the water’s surface until he made it to the top. She lifted an arm and waved goodbye to him, flashing her teeth in a big smile before she disappeared to get home before morning. 

Kashae never needed to know she’d slipped out after he’d thought she was in bed. Big brothers were just overprotective and suspicious, but she’d show him how useful contact with the surface was. Tech would keep their secret, and she’d learn how to fix everything falling apart in Acopit. 

Shiani stopped at the Temple on her way home, swimming through the large worship hall. The flood had broken out stained glass windows, the colorful shards now worn smooth and littering the ground for blocks around the temple. The Holy of Holies was her favorite place, and had been since she was small and her father brought her here. The domed ceiling was patterned with a mosaic that had survived time and sea, showing the gods of the sirens. They’d been in this place long before it was filled with coral and water, when sirens shared land with longnecks and songs echoed across the surface. She reached into her bag and pulled out a tiara of coral and stone, setting it on her head lightly before approaching the mosaic respectfully. 

Three figures looked down at her as she floated, their painted eyes as real as her own looking back. They weren't sirens like her, but so much more. The Melody, the Light, was a beautiful woman with long greenish hair and a flying creature on her arm. She looked radiant and serene, one hand extended like she'd offer her friendship with grace. 

On the other side was The Harmony, the Dark. His fist was clenched, power radiating from his hardened being decorated with red tattoos on his face. A powerful ally or dangerous enemy, who could crush the soul from her soft body with a whim. 

Between them was the Song. Balance incarnate, holding out a hand to each of his children. A Father with his son and daughter, offering choice and council. 

The Melody gave the sirens their song. The Harmony gave them their scream. With both, and the guidance of the Father, their chains were broken and they were free from eternal bondage. That was what the priests and priestesses said, when they sang out the stories to the gathered sirens at high holidays. 

Shiani reached her little hands up to both at once, longing for the starlight and darkness of space above the cold depths. That was real freedom, and all she'd ever wanted-

“Princess Illumai.” Another siren’s voice caught her off guard, and she turned. It was three castle guards, all of them holding the harpoon launchers the sirens used both for defense and hunting. 

Shiani frowned, eyes locked on the weapons in their hands. “You can’t be in here. It’s forbidden to bring weapons into the Temple, especially in here..”

“Not when making an arrest on the order of the King, Princess.” The guard captain looked regretful, his green skin carrying an unhappily dull yellow undertone. “King Kashae has ordered us to bring you to the High Council Chamber as soon as you returned to the city.” 

Shiani blanched almost gray. Kashae had ordered someone to watch her… He knew she’d left. He knew she’d deliberately disobeyed him… not her brother but her king.

“Please just come with us.” The captain waved, and she was surrounded and escorted out. She glanced back at the three gods, eyes wide with terror. 

Sirens didn’t keep prisoners. Punishment for minor lawbreaking was time spent working for various parts of the city like the hunting parties or craftsmen guilds. But serious crimes were punished with exile, which was almost certain death. Sirens weren’t meant to live alone. They needed each other, their families and clans supported them in every part of life. Childrearing, hunting, care of the injured…

She was ushered from the Temple to the High Council Chamber, a former courthouse with a low center and arena-like raised seating so her judges could look down at the accused. Kashae sat quietly in a throne at the front, a scowl on his face when his sister was pushed, terrified, into the middle of the room. “You went to the longneck city.”

She met his eyes, deciding there was no point in attempting a lie. She had her reasons, he had to understand. If she could sway the Council, twenty older sirens including her own parents, she could maybe survive this. “I did. I went in search of a way to protect this city.”

“I forbid you to go, as your king.” He stared her down. 

“I know. But I did what I thought was best for our people. As Minister of Security, a position you gave me because you know I care about the sirens of this city. I was doing my duty.” She held her head up high, looking at the various ministers and council members. Some were listening, others seemed to have their minds made up about her. She’d always been a thorn in the side of the old-fashioned, pushing for upgrades and new ways of thinking when what they’d always done was crumbling around them. “It’s only a matter of before the perimeter defenses fail. The lights already barely work. If we don’t do something, we’ll end up with no power and trapped in the dark. Is that what you all want?” 

There was a murmur throughout the chamber. 

Kashae sighed, looking to the side. “Irri?” 

A light blue female with a finely crafted coral tiara floated down from her seat next to him. She was Kashae’s mate, dressed in a sea-silk tunic the young king had made himself only a year before to woo her. “I followed you, Shiani.” Irri said softly. “You weren’t just seen, you met with a surface-dweller on purpose.”

Horrified gasps and sharp bursts of vocalization rattled the chamber. Kashae sat upright, looking at his sister with a dead serious expression. His tentacles were pulsing with blue rings, his eyes showing he was fighting to hold his temper in check. “You made contact with a long neck?”

“No. He’s a human!” Shiani shook her head, hands coming up. “His people are slaves too. They’re not evil, I read his hearts-”

“You read a surface-dweller’s hearts?” One of the council gasped. “You let it that close?”

“He’s only a child!” Shiani turned, eyes wide as she felt the sympathies in the room shift. She was losing them; a potentially lethal situation. 

“A child that the longnecks made?” Kashae hissed. “I told you it was too dangerous. Even if his hearts were pure, he’s a child. You can’t trust a child to understand the severity of keeping our people hidden…” He gritted his fangs, the seam of his jaw twitching. “Apparently, I can’t trust you either.”

“Kashae, please-” Shiani pleaded. 

“You’re nineteen cycles old, Shiani. The youngest minister on my council. I thought you would know better, but you can’t stop dreaming!” He slammed his fist into the arm rest of his seat and lost the fight to keep from snarling at her. “You put our entire people in danger over some nonsense a Tidedreamer babbled about when you were a child! A thousand years ago, a king's sister would have killed anything to do with the surface on sight.” 

“A thousand years ago, this city wasn’t about to be overrun by things a hundred times our size!” She slammed her hands down on the podium in front of her in return. “Tech is the key!” 

“I will hear no more about this, or the surface. You will be stripped of your position as Minister of Security, and you’ll be making harpoon guns in the city where I can keep an eye on you. You’re lucky I don’t strip you of your place as your mother’s heir.” Kashae shook his head. “After you go back and drown that thing you showed yourself to, so he can’t tell the longnecks about us.”

Shiani froze, horrified. “... You want me to kill a little boy?”

“It’s your own fault, Shiani. You should have kept yourself hidden. Now go up there, find that… human… and drown it.” 

“No.” Her fists clenched at her sides. “I won’t.” 

Irri blanched and looked at Kashae, who looked like he was boiling over with fury. In the seats above them, their father Kathal also went ghastly pale. The room started to whisper about the Princess’ defiance and recklessness. 

“Will you dance for his life?” Kashae gritted out. “Is that how you want this to end?”

“Your majesty…” Kathal called, trying to level his son’s rage. “A Fang Dance seems extreme to suggest…” 

“I don’t want to fight you, Kashae. But I won’t kill a child who didn’t do anything wrong.” Shiani swallowed hard. A Fang Dance was a fight til surrender or death, and Kashae had been leader of his hunting party before he was even old enough to take a mate. He was one of the best warriors in Acopit, and the surrounding cities of Below Kamino. 

“If you won’t fight and you won’t kill him, you leave me no choice.” Kashae’s voice went icy cold.

Kathal’s mate and Shiani’s mother, Shina, let out a cry into her hands. Shiani glanced up at her parents, watching her father comfort her mother. It felt surreal, what was about to happen. She was the princess, there was a crown on her head and her ancestral chains on her wrists… yesterday, she’d been in charge of protecting the city. She’d been the jewel of Acopit, the most marriageable female in the sea who valued her work more than finding a mate. She’d been royalty. 

Kashae looked up at the gathered council members before steeling himself. “Last chance, Shiani. Decide your fate.” 

“I will not fight you. And I will not kill him.” She said firmly. 

“Then you have chosen exile. From this moment, you are no longer Shiani Illumai. Your clan name and ties are revoked. No siren will speak your name. No one will help you hunt, no one will tend your wounds. You are no one, and you will be driven from our city and hunting grounds. Surrender your chains and crown, you are no longer Queen Mother Shina’s heir.”

Shiani looked at her chains. Her inheritance from her mother, her link to her ancestors who escaped bondage and returned to the sea still trailing the broken chains the longnecks had kept them in. She was no longer princess or her mother’s daughter, it would be a simple if heartbreaking thing to take them off and lay them down. But her hearts surged with the absolutely unfairness of everything happening. She was trying to save these people. They were throwing her away, into the wilderness with nothing but what she had in her hands. All because she loved them, and she wasn’t a murderer. Because a little clone boy named Tech had bright golden eyes and she didn’t want to see the light go out in them. 

“No.” She said firmly, then hauled off and shoved the podium forward. It skidded towards Kashae and Irri, who both swam upwards out of the way. It was never meant to hit them, Shiani didn’t have the physical strength to shove the old stone that hard, but it made a great distraction as she took off as fast as she could past the guards and out of the chamber door. 

“Catch her!” Kashae ordered. 

Shiani booked it for the city gates, other guards on her tail. She was just past the perimeter when a squad of guards caught her, trying to hold her down and take the crown and chains off her. She hissed and snapped, trying to get away while their claws raked her flesh and she was struck with the butts of the harpoon guns. Just as she thought her only connection left to who she’d been an hour before would be ripped off her skin, a dark shadow eclipsed the group. The guards looked up, spotting a massive shark, and darted back towards the city perimeter where they’d be safe. Shiani grabbed her crown from the sand and took off again trailing blood. 

They’d come back after her once the shark was gone. They’d hunt her to the death for stealing the chains… There was only one place they’d never follow. Tipoca City, in the midst of the longnecks. The only way she’d survive was to go back to the shadow of the enemy and their city lights, and pray she wasn’t found. So she made a beeline back for the volcano cavern, shooting through the narrow tunnel and back to the little private beach she’d only a few hours ago been sharing with Tech. 

His camp lights were still strung up, turned off when they detected the rising sun outside. She lay on her back in the sand, clutching her crown and bleeding into the waves that lapped up against her skin. After a few moments of staring up at the circle of daylight above her, she pumped the water out of her chest and sucked in a breath of air. It came out in a desperate, broken little scream of agony before the siren rolled onto her side and curled into a ball. She was nameless, clanless, utterly alone in the galaxy with no way to hunt or protect herself… the former darling princess of Acopit now left to fend for herself in a heap of garbage underneath her ancestral enemy’s city. 

The only ray of hope was a single clone, a child soldier who’d grow up much too fast to go to war… but when Shiani had cried herself out and curled up in the drier sand to tend to her stinging injuries, she decided she wasn’t afraid to pin her hopes on Tech. He was a good boy, he’d grow into a good man. And if her stubborn people wouldn’t let her save them, that was fine. She’d make a new goal, and Tech could teach her. 

She was getting off this planet, into the stars. 

Shiani wasn’t at the dock when Tech climbed down to the surface of the water, and she didn’t answer his comm when he tried to call her. He disliked interruptions to his schedule, and he’d planned to spend the night talking and teaching. He wasn’t giving that up without a good reason, so he jammed his rebreather grumpily into his mouth and swam himself down until he found the tunnel. It was claustrophobic by himself, instead of zooming through at the speed of waterjet propulsion, but he made it in about a half hour from the time he’d started swimming. 

He wasn’t prepared to see the siren laying on the sand, curled in a tight ball and an… incorrect shade of purple. “Shiani?” He frowned once he’d spit out the rebreather, crawling over to her. 

Her head lolled over to him, blinking like she was fighting exhaustion to stay awake. “... Tech?” She mumbled. There were new bruises and deep scratches all over her, some of her tentacles glued together with dried blood. 

“You are hurt.” Tech jumped right into problem-solving mode. “I brought bacta. Let me see.” He had to sign at her to get her to uncurl, but she did eventually let him look. The scratches all came in sets of four or five, and the worst ones across her back looked like they might be infected. He carefully sprayed down everything he could see and cleaned the worst ones with alcohol first, which made her squeal and squirm. “I am sorry. I know it is unpleasant. What happened to you?”

“Big fight with brother.” She winced, flexing her freshly bandaged limbs. 

“Perhaps you should stay away from him. He does not seem very nice to you, and these injuries are more severe than a typical fight. Hunter and Crosshair fight all the time, but I have never seen them hurt each other this badly.”

“Going to stay here now. Cave will be my home.” She sat upright, looking at him with concern in her eyes. “You came here by yourself.”

“I expected you at the dock. When you were not there, I was concerned.” He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the galaxy. Shiani’s hearts ached to think her brother wanted her to drag him to the bottom of the sea and kill him. Tech was so kind and pure… quirky, maybe, but what did she know? Maybe all humans were like that. She’d never seen one before him. 

“Tech is sweet.” She lightly patted his hand, which she justified as a needed little touch. Sirens were cuddly, and if he’d let her she would have folded him into her coils and held him like a child’s doll to comfort them both. Her for the pain and him for having worried about her. 

He sat close to her, pushing up a little mound of dry sand for her to lean on that wouldn’t hurt her back. “You intend to live in here? You will need better accommodations, but I would be able see you frequently.”

“Shiani would like that. Tech will be my best friend.” She smiled fondly. “Shiani can see you grow up, even if it is too fast.” 

“I will be biologically fully grown in less than another standard year. After that, my aging should slow. I believe the age progression models indicate the equivalent of about 25 to 30 standard years.” 

Shiani chuckled. “Be older than me. Shiani only 19.” 

Tech nodded. “I will likely catch up with you in a few months. Would you still like me to teach you to repair things, or will that change since your living situation is different?”

“Can Tech teach me to build a starship?” She turned her head to look at him. The light from the lanterns caught his eyes at the right angle to turn the brown into honey gold. It was charming, and he was adorable… though it was unsettling to think in a year he’d be a grown man. Would it change things for him? Or her? 

“I would have to learn to build one myself, but I can share the knowledge I obtain. But perhaps we should start with Basic, so we can talk while we work? It would be difficult to sign and use tools.” 

Shiani nodded. “That’s a good idea.” 

“Of course it is. I am seldom wrong.” He poked his index finger into the air, a charming little habit she already was finding endearing after only seeing it once. “I used to say never… but that was before I left my tools in my pocket and sank during that aquatics lesson.”

Shiani giggled. “Had to be wrong one time, so Shiani could meet Tech.” 

Tech looked around. “Perhaps we should start by making a list of things you will need. I can steal them from around the barracks, and bring them to you.” 

The siren beamed. “Tech is my favorite person.” 

Tech pinked slightly when her tentacles wrapped around his middle in an unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome hug. He’d thought about those tentacles a lot in the last three days, fascinated with the way they moved. Maybe she was his favorite person too… he didn’t hate when she hugged him, like he did when Wrecker picked him up off the floor.