#just to one up me about who your connections are or what your priviledge gets you on social media.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

He's getting dragged for the "things like this don't happen to people like me" part of the speech. He's getting called a queerbaiter again for pretending to be queer and playing a victim and a priviledged white male for not understanding that awards and glory do happen to people like him and not black artists. I need to find ways to not care so much because it makes me so mad when I read things like this. I just want to gatekeep him from the general public who don't see him the way we as fans see him. I almost wish he didn't win aoty which is so crazy because I'm so proud of him and that album is so great.

Oh anon - I'm sorry you're finding it so hard.

You can't gatekeep Harry from other people seeing him - other people are going to see him and have opinions about him. He doesn't belong to fans.

One of the tasks of growing up is coming to accept that other people are whole and real and can be very different from you. It's really important to accept the messiness of the world and to do that you need to create your own boundaries.

It's very hard not to care (although I did find myself repeating in a meeting today 'it's OK if coworker is upset - coworker is allowed to have feelings - I don't have to pick them up'. I'm not saying it worked, but it was better than not trying). But you don't have to know what other people think about Harry.

Imagine it was 30 years ago and the only way that you could find out what other people thought about celebrities was talking to them, overhearing their conversations on the bus, or logging into dial-up and reading news groups. Our brains are not equipped to hear thousands and thousands of people's opinions about things we care about and are important to us.

And you can turn the opinions off. It may seem hard, but there are lots of ways that you can limit what you see, at least for now. There are so many ways you can control what you read. You can log out of apps and take them off your phone, but you don't need to be that drastic. If you're using twitter you can set it to only see who you want to see. You can block and unfollow people who you don't want to read and mute people who are putting people you don't want to read onto your feed. Don't let algorithims put that distress you onto your feed. If you don't want to read discourse about Harry discourse - unfollow blogs who are doing that (including me).

Can you set up some Harry content you really like (maybe the livestream of One Night Only?) and every time you're tempted to read discourse watch that and connect with the joy Harry's music brings you instead.

There are lots of times when it's a good idea to sit with you feelings, name them, let them be. But there are also times when you can make your life much better by turning off the tap of other people's dumbass opinions.

[mocacheezy]

So I am reading Exodus right? And it took me ages to get over the 12th chapter since I dreaded the Council Shitshow and assumed it will blow up then and there. Welp, I was wrong.

So now I finished the 13th chapter and oh my fucking shit Orion, honey. Honey no, you fucked up spectacularly. You set yourself up for such a damn fuckery between you and Megatron and you don't even realize it.

Megatron is in no way reasonable or not responsible for the excalation of said fuckery, but I can absolutely see how his (very extreme) reaction makes sense given the chain of events following what Orion does here.

So I shall screech about it. Do note that I am also Mega-biased. Book spoilers below.

Summary of the post: Orion Pax, albeit unintentionally, completely overshadowed Megatron, named the cause for Megatron with disregard for the name he claimed just minutes prior, and also displayed the difference between higher and lower castes as blatantly as it gets (one patient and reasonable, the other angry), finishing his speech by letting the Council know they must make their choice between peace or destruction today as they pick the new Prime.

Yet he still wonders why Megatron is angry as the stands chant "Autobots!" after his speech.

So we start with the set up; Megatron is once again pointing out that Orion's priviledge and connection are the only reason why they have the chance to speak with the Council, and Orion points out that airing grievances will get him nowhere. He also suggests Megatron stops pretending and presents himself as a legitemate leader of a movement, since, quote: "If they think you're just a gladiator they'll cut you off in a nanoklik and you'll never get a second chance."

Pax has good points, Megatron acknowledges this and before they part, Orion has one last advice:

(...) "Don't make too much of an entrance. One thing you have to know about the Council is that they hate to be upstaged."

Megatron is Megatron, but his start was calm compared to his usualy speeches. He stated the facts, told how him and those like him live - how they were all nameless and how some only learned their own worth through death and killing in the arena - and, before the questions from the Council start, he does express gratitude;

"(...) My friend Orion Pax, I thank you for helping our cause gain this platform; and to the High Council, I express my thanks for your time and attention.

All in all, it was quite impressive seeing the contrast from his speech in the arena and here.

And then the provocative questions from the Counil members start, and the word Decepticon is dropped in relation to the terrorist attacks;

After his exit, Sigil, the Representative of the Guilds - who "(...) administered the castes and excersized absolute control over which newly born Cybertronians were routed into which castes." - speaks of how well the Guilds work and then says this;

"Decepticon?" echoed Megatron. "An interesting name."

"You would think so," Drivetrain pressed him. "Since it was you who coined it, was it not?"

Megatron drew himself up to his whole height. (...) "I would say that you should implicate neither me nor my friend Orion Pax until you have facts. What other bots might have said means nothing to me. But if the term Decepticon is to be laid at my feet I accept it!" he said. "Sometimes deception is necessary, when those who should listen to the truth will not, and will only understand once they've been lied to and forced to see their own lies."

After this there is uproar, and with what those that call themself Decepticons did, Megatron didn't make the situation any easier. His exit from the stand is in no way calm either. But that's who he is, so no surprise that his temper took the wheel after repetative provocations and thinly veiled insults from the Council.

Oof. Yeah, hmmm, Megatron and others are probably used to that slag, but I am still surprised noone got shot or restrained. Good job to everyone in the stands that support the cause.

(...) "Can one criminal... one gladiator with the deaths of how many innocents on his conscience... Can this killer be suffered to undermine what Primus himself has decreed when he created this planet and seeded all Cybertronians on it throughout the Well of the Allsparks?"

So this was Megatron's defense, and now comes Orion, with an opening that had me slack jawed.

He channeled that displeasure & anger well, begining with the most polite way of saying "Fuck you Sigil" and I live for it.

"I say first that Sigil makes no friends among unhappy Cybertronians because he is as pompous as any spark has ever been," Orion Pax said.

And then begins his defense and he speaks out for Megatron and his actions, backing him up and explaining his anger;

So he began simply. "Fellow Cybertronians, members of the Council, hear me. Megatron speaks harshly but true. He has seen the truth of life for many Cybertronians whose lives are all too often invisible, and if he is angry, it is anger born of love for an ideal and a Spark-deep pain at our failure of that ideal. (...)

And during his speech he coins the name Autobots, and speaks of what kind of a Prime Cybertron needs;

"I will say it again. Autonomous robots!

"(...) We are all autonomous robots today -Autobots, if we need a name to rally around- and we Autobots declare that a Spark once freed will never again stand to be oppressed.

"You must chose a new Prime today. Choose well, for a Prime might either lead Cybertron to a new golden era in our history, or stand by as the dark energies of anger and resentment explode into planet wide chaos and war.

"Members of the Council, the choice is yours. I wish you wisdom."

His parting words aimed at the stands end up in the crowd chanting:

(...) ; Orion Pax raised both arms, fists clenched, and thundered, "For Cybertron! Autobots!"

Over the pounding of Halogen's gavel, the crows erupted. AUTOBOTS!

"For freedom! Autobots!"

AUTOBOTS!

It started up high in the gallery, beyond where Megatron's oldest and most loyal followers were clustered. AUTOBOTS! And from there it spread. AUTOBOTS! AUTOBOTS! AUTOBOTS!

This time it took nearly a full cycle before Halogen and the other Councilors could gavel the gallery back to silence. And Orion Pax noticed something odd.

Something odd?

When he caught Megatron's eye he was expecting approbation. Instead he saw anger on his friend's face, and did not know why. Surely, brother, he thought, it is more important to accomplish our goal than it is for us to agree on every mote of our method?

He did not know if that was what had angered Megatron, but Orion Pax knew his friend, and he knew they would have words. If not during the course of the High Council hearing, then after. Megatron clearly had something on his mind, and he was not a Cybertronian who kept his emotions to himself.

Atleast not for long.

The Council is against change, the terrorist attacks and violence don't win their cause any favours. After his speech, Megatron is accused of being behind the attacks, and eventually he simply accepts the name Decepticons, since everyone seems so keen to associate it with him.*

Since he can't seem to figure it out, and Megatron hasn't spoken his mind yet, let's list what just happened:

The exchange between the Council and Megatron is in no way peaceful. Lots of aggression on both sides, with Megatron's being more explosive. He makes it clear his cause will be a threat if the Council doesn't listen.

Orion's entrance is a big contrast to how Megatron entered. And despite being laughted at in the begining, he delivers a heartfelt speech that soothes over the aggitation brought on by Megatron, while also backing up his anger and explaininh the reason for it. He coins the name for the cause right then and there - autonomous robots; Autobots. And he points out that the Council can choose a Prime that will lead them to a better future, or do nothing when the anger of the people explodes and causes destruction.

*Megatron is behind some (if not all) of those attacks, but there is no proof to fully back this claim 100% unless he himself admits to it. The Council probably counted on him admiting his association and they partially succeeded.

The above? Megatron setting himself up for failure in a civil enviorment, but he himself also doesn't believe in change through peace. Orion has no hand in this belief, since he also actively works on reminding Megatron that peace is an option and something to strive for.

During his speech, Orion Pax:

Completely disintergrated the atmosphere that Megatron created - the kind that works in the Arena and has given results in the past.

He named their cause on the spot, after Megatron, the one that started it in the first place, claimed the name Decepticons to himself, and by that to his movement.

He stated that they must choose a new Prime today and laid out two very different pictures of a what choices they have. Peaceful or destructive.

Orion Pax, albeit unintentionally, completely overshadowed Megatron, named the cause for Megatron with disregard for the name he claimed just minutes prior, and also displayed the difference between higher and lower castes as blatantly as it gets (one patient and reasonable, the other angry), finishing his speech by letting the Council know they must make their choice between peace or destruction today, as they pick the new Prime.

He suceeded in making the stands chant the name he picked for the cause, which would of course make him the leader in the eyes of those who hear the word Autobots. The name is connected to his speech.

He upstaged both the Council and Megatron with his exit.

Now Megatron has an ego to match his temper and passion, and he is already agitated due to the Council getting under his plating. And now, his friend from a higher caste undid all he said, and is in the spotlight, with the crowd chanting for him, much louder and longer than they did for him.

He wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Orion, so there's bitterness for that.

He is from a lower caste and at a disadvantage from the start because of that.

He had to remain calm for as long as possible given the disadvantages he has, while also having his patience stretched paper thin.

He killed in the arena, his followers killed outside the arena and this got everone's attention when words did not.

Orion just had to speak and was heard. And his speech got the stands chanting, and approval from a crowd shows which way the scales will most likely tip. (Not to mention the chanting did not start from the ground up, but spread from the top downwards. That is also quite a contrast compared to where Megatron's speeches started and spread.)

His actions make it look like betrayal, and with how Megatron is, with how angry he already is, I don't think he'll try to be reasonable and try to look at that speech from a different angle, given that this is High Caste enviorment, and Orion is closer to them.

I am not writing about the 14th chapter here because I have yet to read it, don't have image space, but I also know it will be an even bigger "oh no" that will need it's own post (or might just be reblogged here, who knows).

Again, Orion did this unintentionally, but he also made a very different entrance AND exit than Megatron did, despite himself saying that the Council hates to be upstaged. He really, really set himself up for the chain reaction to follow, simply because he was himself, fully himself, and spoke from heart.

This part of the story is really making me wonder if Optimus ever reflects on this moment when he's alone. Hindsight must've hit him like a train.

[wndrcarol]

boundaries | c.d.

request: LET’S SAY, someone from the team is crushing on reader, they don’t care of course since they are with Carol, but one day the other person crosses the line??? jealous carol takes you??? the other person sees you guys but carol instead of stopping, just looks them smugly in the eyes???

a/n: I was going to make this a blurb but I decided why not turn it into a oneshot! It’s a p quick fic so yeah! I hope you guys enjoy & sorry for any typos!

pairings: Carol Danvers x Reader

warnings: some cursing but other than that, nothing too major

———

Steve watched you across the room and couldn’t help but groan. He thought you looked amazing tonight and it hurt to know that you weren’t his to be showing off. Instead, Carol had that priviledge to say you were her partner.

You knew about Steve’s crush on you since you joined the team. It had started with little flirting here and there and you didn’t mind it. He was a good looking guy and very kind to you but you knew it wouldn’t go farther than that. You had expressed that to him once he tried to take you on a date that you just wanted to stay friends and it crushed him but he understood.

But once Carol joined the team, it was an instant connection between the both of you. You couldn’t help but fall for her charm whenever she would flirt with you and even practice sparring with you, saying phrases that would make your face heat up.

Steve noticed this connection between the both of you and it hurt him more knowing you two soon started dating. Of course, he congratulated you both but tried to keep his distance as he still had feelings for you.

But tonight was the night he would just let it out to you. Tell you everything. He felt as though he needed to so he could move on.

Placing down his drink, he made his way through the crowd to you as you were conversing with Tony on something before he excused himself.

Turning right on time, you smiled at Steve who looked at you with a concerned look. “What’s wrong?” You asked, wanting to make sure he was alright.

“(Y/N), I still like you” he blurted out. Maybe he was feeling a little buzz from the Asgardian liquor Thor gave him earlier that night but he couldn’t stop his words from flying out.

“Steve-“ you started but he cut you off by shaking his head. Unknowing to you both, Carol watched the interaction from the bar after leaving you to get drinks. You had told her about you and Steve’s flirting past as you wanted to be honest with her so seeing him and his body language towards you made her both nervous and jealous at the same time.

“No, please. Let me finish” he said, stepping a bit closer. You took a step back which made Steve’s face falter a bit before he looked at you and took your hand.

“I knew things weren’t going to work out but I really do like you. You get me and that’s something that doesn’t really happen often. I just-“ he continued before you pulled your hand away, cutting him off.

“No, Steve. We’re not doing this here and now. I’m with Carol now and you know this” you said before seeing Carol standing next to you, looking at you both.

“Everything alright here?” Carol asked, eyes deadest on Steve as he rolled his eyes to himself before looking at you, not even turning to Carol.

“Yeah, just peachy. Let’s go” you said, turning to Carol with a small smile as she took your hand. Before being able to walk away, Steve grabbed your wrist a little too tight, making you yelp lightly at the sudden action.

“(Y/N)” he said, wanting to finish what he was saying. You don’t know what’s gotten into him. He has never acted like this and it almost scared you seeing a complete opposite of how he normally acts.

“Let her go” Carol said, stepping infront of you and placing her hand on his wrist, sending a shock towards his skin which made him hiss and let you go. Taking your hand, Carol pulled you away from Steve as you rubbed your wrist, still confused as to why Steve was acting so different.

“Are you alright?” Carol asked softly, taking your face in her hands as you nodded, giving her a smile.

“I’m fine now” you said as Carol smiled softly at you before pressing her lips against yours. Opening her eyes, she looked straight at Steve who was watching you both before letting out a sigh and walking away.

Pulling away, you looked up at Carol and placed a hand on her arm. “Let’s go, please” you said as she nodded, taking you away from the place.

———

feedback is appreciated!

[boycottyashahime]

Hello! Anti-Sessrin person here. You said if this couple becomes canon it will ruin Sesshomaru's character development. I would love it If you could elaborate on that because you're always so eloquent and smart. It's ok if you don't feel like it, though. Have a nice day!

I've actually been looking for an excuse to sit down and write out a cohesive post on my thoughts about this. Contrary to what the shippers want to believe, my interpretation of Sesshoumaru and Rin's relationship doesn't have anything to do with my moral objections to child grooming. I happen to think there's plenty of evidence for a filial interpretation in the text.

First, I'd like to preface my little essay here by saying I'm going off the manga alone. I haven't seen the anime in a long time, because I dropped it when I got a little tired of trying to reconcile the inconsistencies between the two mediums. So, if you read this and have an impulse to say, "hey, what about that thing in episode such-and-such...", keep in mind that I probably just don't remember what you're thinking of.

So, let's go back, alllll the way back, to Sesshoumaru's first appearance. Here's a guy who tears off a dude's head for no other reason than to get the attention of his subordinates to demand a boat. Here's a guy who's spent a long time looking just about EVERYWHERE for his father's remains, not to pay respects, but to plunder them. Here's a guy who feels ENTITLED to rob his dad's grave for treasure he deserves simply for being his father's son.

Sesshoumaru begins his journey as a selfish, spoiled, entitled brat. He doesn't fit the usual profile of a kid throwing a tantrum on the street because he wants the expensive toy sitting in the window; he's very posh and very reserved, but fundamentally, his motivation comes down to the simple fact that he wants Tessaiga. It doesn't even really have anything to do with respect and admiration of his father, otherwise he wouldn't have been so eager to rifle through dear old dad's bones to get at a sword when he had another heirloom right there at his hip. Only Tessaiga was representative of the sheer destructive force he wanted to wield, so he ignored the fact that his dad didn't seem to want him to have it.

This is important, because at first, Sesshoumaru doesn't seem to think of his father in terms of the guy's intentions or the steps he takes for the sake of his sons. Like most rich spoiled kids, Sesshoumaru views the Inu no Taishou in terms of his prestige and how that priviledge can be appropriated for selfish ends. Sesshoumaru wants Tessaiga not because he needs it, but because it's a birthright, and reinforces his legitimacy. When it's clear that Tessaiga seals Inuyasha's youkai blood, keeps him from going berserk, Sesshoumaru loses interest in Tessaiga - it's just a crutch for Inuyasha, and there's no prestige in taking it from him or using it for himself.

Sesshoumaru doesn't start to REALLY consider his father's intentions for the swords until later in the manga, when it comes out that Tenseiga was originally part of Tessaiga, and Inuyasha was meant to get the Meidou Zangetsuha attack eventually as well. It's at this point that Sesshoumaru starts to question if daddy actually HATED him, to give him a rather neat power disguised in a lame shell, but only to develop it so Inuyasha can have it instead, even after Inuyasha already got Tessaiga in the first place. It kind of looks to Sesshoumaru that Inuyasha gets all the powerful cool shit their father left behind, and that there might have been some favoritism coming down HARD on Inuyasha's side.

Above, you can see Sesshoumaru has two interlinked but distinct issues that are addressed throughout the story - his lack of compassion and empathy, and how tied his identity is to his father's favor and prestige. These two are somewhat separated in the narrative; there's a kind of pause in Sesshoumaru's development while a bulk of the middle of the story deals more with other characters and their development, but there is a little bit of a thematic connection between the two halves.

We'll start with the development of Sesshoumaru's compassion since, well, that's where the story begins working on his character. Right before Rin shows up, Toutousai let's Inuyasha's group in on the sword Sesshoumaru carries around and what it does, indicating that Tenseiga requires a compassionate heart to function. A bit ham-handed, but RT isn't very subtle most of the time, so we'll allow it. This sets up the next few scenes in which Sesshoumaru is unable to move and must play captive audience to a little girl doing the literal opposite of what he's used to. Sesshoumaru's habit is to show up and kill things, with no thought to the years of history, relationships, thoughts, emotions, etc that he's snuffing out. But while he's reclined injured in the woods, Rin demonstrates actual LIFE and the preservation of it, that part Sesshoumaru never gets to see. It's made all the starker by how BAD Rin is at caring for herself, let alone the strange monster she found in the woods. She does exactly nothing to help Sesshoumaru, despite how hard she tries, and is even injured by others in her attempts. She is the very picture of vulnerability, the opposite of the strong and capable Sesshoumaru.

This is a stark contrast, because anything less wouldn't be enough to create the necessary awareness of Rin's struggles that Sesshoumaru needs in order to use Tenseiga on here. And I know I've said this before, but I really cannot stress enough how obvious I think the symbolism is when Sesshoumaru uses Tenseiga for the first time; a phallic object gives life to a child, and the object's owner looks after that life throughout the rest of the story. He's not very good at looking after it, and it's clear that he's not sure about taking responsibility for Rin at first, because she pleaded for him to come back for her when he and Jaken left her behind to requisition a sword from Gaijinbou. To me, it's reminiscent of a teenager who knocked someone up, and ended up having to learn to give a crap about the result.

But, even if you don't accept that symbolism as particularly significant, Rin being a child, and human, and weak, unable to survive on her own, are important characteristics to how Sesshoumaru's compassion develops. Sesshoumaru is one of the strongest characters in the series, and he rarely has to worry about his own safety. And since he's in the habit of just murdering everyone he comes across if they're in his way, he's never had to worry about the safety of anyone else, either. When Rin comes into the picture, though, Sesshoumaru is faced with the uncomfortable reality of vulnerability in general. Through her earnest and incompetent attempts to foster survival in a world that can and does crush her, she's opened his eyes to how the disadvantaged, those without a powerful youkai lineage to rely on, have to struggle.

Rin herself has nothing to offer Sesshoumaru within this context of supreme vulnerability. She's not a friend, because she can't offer mutual support or use a skill to their benefit as a team. She's not a lover, because, well, she's a child and sexual/romantic attraction are conditions that wouldn't allow Sesshoumaru to extend his compassion beyond just her. As a mostly helpless kid, Rin has to rely upon Sesshoumaru and his power to survive, and Sesshoumaru employs his strength to keep her alive, getting nothing but a sweet smile out of it all. She gets all the benefits, he has all the obligations. This is PURE compassion - using one's advantages to another's benefit because you care about them, and not because you derive something from it as well.

This is why making Rin into Sesshoumaru's lover is a REALLY thoughtless take. It puts conditions on the compassion and muddies the message.

Moving onto Sesshoumaru's continued character development in the latter part of the story, the sword drama starts back up with slow, when Toutousai shows up and offers to reforge Tenseiga into a weapon. Sesshoumaru discovers that because he got angry enough to break his primary weapon in defense of Kagura's honor, he's triggered the next evolution of Tenseiga into something that can murder. Which is what he wanted at the beginning, yay! I want to point out here that Toutousai says Tenseiga noticed a change in Sesshoumaru's heart - anger for the first time for the sake of another. This implies that what Jaken said about Sesshoumaru getting tangled up in the fight against Naraku because Naraku kidnapping and using Rin to manipulate Sesshoumaru hurt Sesshoumaru's pride is actually accurate; he just really hated the thought of Naraku trying to use him, even if it was a failed attempt.

After going through HELL to develop the Meidou into a full circle (literally), Sesshoumaru then learns that the Meidou belongs to Tessaiga and Inuyasha, and that it's supposed to be handed over. Now, part of Sesshoumaru's angst over this idea, I think, is not just "did daddy love Inuyasha more?", but also the assumption that Inuyasha would have to KILL him in order to retake the Meidou Zangetsuha into Tessaiga. Thinking that your father meant for your little brother to kill you at some point to take your stuff is a pretty disturbing thought, to be entirely fair to him. This is why, when Sesshoumaru jumps into the meidou to take back control of the Naraku-possessed Tenseiga and breaks it deliberately, he spends the rest of the time in there moodily resigned to disappear. He genuinely believes that his father meant for him to die at this point, and even after they get out of there, he seems genuinely depressed.

This is Sesshoumaru's lowest point as a character. He's lost something he thought his father had meant for him, at his father's own wish, and he can't help but question why his dad would give him something just to take it away and give it to Inuyasha. It looks for all the world like favoritism, and since the Inu no Taishou is dead, there's no asking him what the hell the meaning of all this is.

This is all leading to one of the most infuriatingly ridiculous scenes I have ever seen in a manga - when Magatsuhi has crushed Sesshoumaru and everyone thinks he's been killed/absorbed, Magatsuhi is blown apart and rendered unable to reform by the shiny new sword clutched in Sesshoumaru's newly regrown arm. I could talk your ear off about how having Sesshoumaru stop being an amputee is erasure of consequences for his actions, or how being given back an arm is kind of a slap in the face for actual amputees, and where the mother f*ck did that sword come from anyway, but that's not what this essay is about, so I'll just keep all that to myself. The point of this is articulated by Toutousai when he says that Sesshoumaru had to let go of Tessaiga and his father's heirloom to stand on his own as a daiyoukai.

We've already gone over how Sesshoumaru is one of the most powerful characters in the series, who rarely has to worry about his well-being. He's just really strong without having to try. Sesshoumaru had already learned that he didn't need Tessaiga ages ago - he knew this when he learned that Inuyasha needed Tessaiga to keep from tearing himself apart eventually. But when he thought he had been passed down something from his father that was truly meant to be his, only to put all this work into it so that Inuyasha could have it, that embittered him again. It's not that he wanted the sword necessarily, but the thoughts and consideration of his father, who seemed to be putting everything he had into Inuyasha.

But his previous experiences protecting and considering someone (in some cases, multiple someones) weaker than him should have tipped him off. During the very battle in which he got his new arm and sword, he was actively helping those around him avoid Magatsuhi and keeping them close because he had a plan and the strength to carry it out. He was willing to take the extra step to protect Inuyasha and friends before trying to take care of Magatsuhi though, and that was the point. He put everyone else's needs ahead of his own, even Inuyasha's, and he did it without even thinking.

Toutousai just articulated what Sesshoumaru should have already intuitively known by that point. He never needed his father's heirlooms, the swords, his dad's power. They were unnecessary for him from the start. Inuyasha needed a leg up, because his own BODY could kill him after a while. But Sesshoumaru always had the capability of being great on his own. He just needed to finally separate his ego from who his father was and become his own person; stand on his own as a great youkai. While I don't agree with the execution, I can get behind the big lesson - don't rely on your daddy's wealth and influence to prop you up, and do the work to build a personality and identity of your own.

Which is ANOTHER reason why making Rin into a lover would be a thoughtless take. It would walk back Sesshoumaru's final lesson about being his own person apart from his father.

So, there you go. A comprehensive post regarding my take on Sesshoumaru's character development. I could add in a bit about Sesshoumaru coming to understand his father's consideration and the lengths he went to for the sake of protecting Inuyasha by having to give similar consideration to Rin, but I think this post is long enough, and that one statement on that aspect pretty much sums it up. Let me know if you would like me to elaborate on any of this, or if you would like to argue any of the points, I'm up for it. Might take me a minute to respond, mind you, but hopefully it won't take as long as it did to draft this behemoth.

Take care.

[thebookwormfairy]

Captain the Retired Police Dog Part 4

Back by popular demand here's Part 4. I just want to thank everybody for reading this. Also Shout out to all the Mummy fans and Maribat discord users thank y'all for hyping me up!

The next morning Damain met Marinette and Captain bright and early 

He was determined to make this day one of the best in Marinette’s life

He was so excited that he didn’t notice his brothers’ strange facsination with his plans

Jason:  So what’s your plan for today? How are you going to top last night’s  movie marthon?

Damain: Not that it’s any of your business, but Marinette, Captain, and I are going to the park where she met me as Damain, then the botanical gardens, and then we’re going to explore the city some more.

Dick:  Not bringing Titus with you this time, Baby Bird?

Damain:  He’s still exsahuted from the late night last night.

Bruce *drinking coffee*:  You should bring Ace with you then.  She needs a day out.

Ace who’s been sitting at Bruce’s feet shot her head up to look at him

Like she really wanted to be stuck with two love stuck teenagers and Titus’ friend

Damain:  Not a bad idea father.  Come on girl let’s head out

Ace just rolled her eyes but went with Damain either way 

 At worst she’ll get some exercise and out of the manor

At best she’ll make a new friend

Once Damain and Ace were out of the house and the other Wayne boys got to work

Dick: Alright men we can do this, all we have to do is decide when to ambush the happy couple.

Jason: I say we do it right when Demon Spawn picks up his Angel

Tim: No too dangerous.  He’ll spot us before she even gets out of her hotel

Dick: What about after the botanical gardens?  We can trail them from a distance until they get in the building then all we have to do is wait outside until they come out.

Jason: GENIUS! And there’s no way for him to avoid us.  

Alfred:  Don’t you have jobs to do

Dick:  We’re pulling a Bruce

Bruce glared at his 3 boys unamused 

Bruce: Just make sure to get plenty of pictures

Jason *saluting*:  Will do

With that the 3 adopted Waynes ran out to inact their plan

Alfred:  Are you sure this is wise sir?

Bruce: If they don’t push Damain we may never meet Marinette

In the hotel Marinette was getting ready for her date with Damain

Tikki: Don’t over think it too much Marinette, Damain really likes you I can tell.

Marinette:  I know Tikki, but I can’t help but be nervous.  What if I do something wrong and he never wants to see me again?

Tikki:  That’s just Lila getting into your head don’t let her.  You are one of the greatest ladybugs I have the priviledge of working with.  Anybody would be lucky to have you as a friend or a romantic partner

Marinette: Thanks Tikki. Your right like always.

Marinette head her phone ding with a notification

Marinette: It's Damian he's waiting for us in the lobby let's go Captain

Down in the lobby Damian was getting a taste of Lila

Lila was holding trying to get a hold of Damian's arm, but Ace was doing a good job at keeping the annoying girl at a distance

Lila: Oh what a beautiful dog. You know I do a lot of volunteer work in animal shelters with Damian Wayne. You know Dami's such an animal lover

Alya: Oh really Lila that's so giving of you.

Damian: You know Damian Wayne?

Lila: I know not many people know. But you probably think the worst of me thanks to Marinette. She's so cruel to me for no reason

Lila started to pretend cry making Alya and the rest of her sheep flock to comfort the "distressed" girl

Damian was in disbelief about how gullible Marinette's class seemed to be.

He was a little relieved to see that some of the class didn't see it buy it.

A blonde girl, pink hair girl, and Asian boy stood at a distance and just rolled their eyes

Chloe, Alix, and Kim have been disillusioned to Lila's lies

Chloe new from the very beginning just didn't see a reason to say anything

Alix and Kim found out over time, they felt like it was too late to do anything and feared ending up like Marinette

So they are biding their time waiting for the best time to exposed Lila

Damian was happy that they didn't fall for this girl's lies, but not so happy that they didn't speak up

Lila tried once again to grab onto Damian's arm, but Ace being the good girl she is growled a little at Lila who once again jumped back

Damian: Sorry about that Ace isn't good with sudden movements. As for Marinette she actually hasn't mentioned you. The only she she told me about anybody in her class was that she was here with them. She does speak a lot about her friends Luka and Kagami though

Lila was surprised she was sure she could use Marinette's whining against her

Lila: Oh how rude of Marinette-

Damian: Actually I don't see anything rude about not mentioning somebody who clearly wants to but her down.

At this point Marinette and Captain walked into the Lobby

Damian: Hey Angel

Damian pulled Marinette into a side hug and giving her a kiss to the side of her head being careful to keep the two dogs at a distance for now

Marinette *giggling*: Hey Damian. Who's this

Marinette looked down at the German Sheperd connected to Damian

Damian: This is Ace. Titus was still tired from last night and I didn't want Captain to get lonely and she could use a day out

Marinette: Well hello Ace

Marinette bent down slightly and let Ace sniff her hand

Ace gave her hand a little sniff, she decided to let the girl give her a pet

Not to mention Ace could sense that she was a lot better then that sausage hair girl

Marinette gave Ace a nice little head rub

Marinette: Well aren't you a pretty girl

Lila seethed in her place she tried to get that stupid dog to let her pet it 10 times, and Marinette just has to let it sniff her hand and it'll let her touch it

Damian: Come on Marinette I got a big day planned for us

Damian wrapped his arm around Marinette shoulder leading Marinette and their dogs out of the hotel, but he stopped right before the door

Damian: And Lila maybe you should make sure you know what a person looks like before you lie about them. I would suggest you look up what Damian Wayne looks like.

With that Damian, Marinette, and the 2 dogs left the hotel

Alix intrigued by Marinette's mysterious boys comment looked up Damian Wayne and burst out laughing

The others in the lobby looked at the pink hair girl in confusion

Alix: No wonder he warned you about looking people up.

Alix showed the picture on her phone to her classmates

Kim: Omg he was Damian Wayne!

Lila faced grew red and quickly tried to cover her tracks

Lila: Oh I must have gotten him confused with someone else. Haha you know I meet with soo many people

Lila's sheep laughed with her, but Lila could sense that she lost a little bit of her hold on them with that slip up

At the park

Marinette: You didn't have to do that Damian?

Damian: And why wouldn't I Angel. She tried to threaten you and she was stupid enough to try and use me to impress ME she deserved to be called out a bit.

Marinette and Damian kept talking while Captain and Ace got to know eachother

Captain had to admit he was a bit smittened by this German sheperd

She looked gorgeous and had a good head on her shoulders

But most importantly he could tell she loved her humans just as much as he loved his

Ace: So you really us to be a police dog?

Captain trying to impress Ace: Yep and I still remember all my training. My girl and I run through courses on the weekends to keep it up, but enough about me tell me about you.

Ace in a bit of a flirty tone: Well I don't mean to brag, but me and my humans go through a lot of training too. I actually have a couple of humans. Though inhave to admit my favorite one is the leader of the pack. He's called Alfred. I didn't have the best puppy hood. Alfred's pup, Bruce, found me and helped other people take me to a shelter. Alfresco came a couple of days later and picked me up. He helped me overcome my past and convinced Bruce to keep me. Now I have a pretty cushy life.

Captain: I can relate to that.

Marinette watched as her big tough retired police dog cuddle with Ace. She could already tell her boy was starting to fall for Ace.

Captain laid his head over Ace's and Marinette couldn't help but aww

Damian wrapping his arm around Marinette as they sit under a tree: What's on your mind Mari?

Marinette: It seems like Captain had fallen for Ace

Damian: I'd have to agree with that and it looks to me like the feelings mutual

The two couples stayed in the park for 2 hours alternating playing and cuddling

Damian: You're going to love this next stop Angel

Marinette: Where are we going?

Damian: You'll see when we get there. Don't you trust me?

Marinette with a small smile: Yes

Once they got to the botanical gardens Marinette loved it!

All the flowers and planets gave her plenty of inspiration and Damian let her stop and draw as much as she wanted without getting impatient or annoyed

He even commented and gave feed back and suggestions to some of Marinette's designs

Damian was just enjoying watching Marinette's face throughout the whole experience.

Her face was so open and showed every emotion that she felt and Damian just couldn't turn away

The dogs also had a great time getting to see new sights and smells.

But in Damian's opinion all that was ruined when they walked outside and saw his brothers

Jason: Hey Demon Spawn

Bonus

Dick: Omg they're both cuddling hurry get a pictur!!!

Jason watching Damianwalk out with his arm around Marinette: Damn I didn't know demon spaw could be so smooth. Hurry get a picture

Tim: Look at them playing with the dogs! Hurry get a picture

Both Dick and Jason gave him a weird look

Tim: Oh right I'm holding the camera.

Okay I can feel y'alls annoyance with the cliffhanger, sorry.

Tags

@felicityroth @northernbluetongue

[serendipitybutterfly]

Is there a possibility that Jungkook has a twin flame and is currently on the process of ascension? I was just curious because I stumbled into a reading before and somehow it said that he is strongly connected to the divine world. Thank you in advance. :)

Interesting question...

Firstly, I'll start with 'strongly connected to the divine'... Well this is interesting when it comes to BTS...

From what I've picked up doing readings on them all... They actually all have strong spiritual potential. By that I mean, they all seem to have some kind of latent psychic / intuitive / heightened empathetic abilities... It's actually very interesting to me. They seem to be aware of this on different levels and sit all along the spectrum of whether or not they're interested or keen to explore it at this point lol...

So on one side you've got Kim 'I commune with my angels' Taehyung, with his powerful ancestral guardians walking with him, and Jeon 'maybe I should be a shaman' Jungkook, spilling the tea on the fact that he has precognitive dreams.... And on the other side of the spectrum you've got the likes of Namjoon who, while I'm almost certain has gotten to the point of being open minded enough to accept there are more things in heaven and earth than can be dreamt of in his philosophy *to casually quote Shakespeare like a nerd*, is more on the side of things he can logically reason out than what he can sense or intuit (even though he does also have that gift!). You've also got Yoongi, who is actually so sensitive I think he's even a little scared of it and deliberately has put that side of himself on the back burner to focus purely on the material world and what he wants to accomplish for now. Then there's Jimin, who can sense other people's emotions like a fine tuned device... But, I believe, doesn't like to think too deeply about such matters because they overcomplicate things in his mind and he feels it'd be detrimental to his mental health to dwell on such things (not unwise if you don't have the right guidance and teachers to help you).

Then you've got Hobi somewhere in the middle... I think he's, again, aware he has some kind of intuitive senses, that there's 'something more', but he doesn't have the foundation to guide in him in what it all means and how to tap into it... I think he's openminded to it though and would be willing to hear someone out... Say if someone offered him a tarot reading or astrology reading, I think he'd probably be fairly interested and want to learn more. But... May not actively seek out that information on his own at this point.

And then... Seokjin... Haha... Seokjin... Of all the members, I feel like Seokjin may have the closest thing to an actual defined religion or spiritual belief /philosophy that guides him. I have no idea what that is... But it's something he grew up with and also has continued to develop on his own. What that means is that he quietly does know he's connected to 'something' spiritual / divine and he intuitively allows that faith to guide him in his philosophy on life. But it's all in a very quiet understated way and I highly doubt he'll ever talk about this except in the vaguest terms at those random moments where he gets deep and shows his more serious side.

But you asked specifically about Jungkook... Well! What I've been seeing with Jungkook for a while (if you've read the readings I've done on him you'll see it) is that he has indeed been going through some kind of period of spiritual growth. He is aware of his spiritual gifts, actually believes in them, and did indeed begin to consciously work on developing them. This has been opening him up to the guidance of the Universe, his guides, his higher self... So yes, you could say he's going through a process of ascension. His gifts will become more powerful when he's older as his faith in them continues to grow from receiving more and more confirmation...

As for twin flames... I mean... Maybe? To be honest, while I do believe in the divine counterpart aspect of the twin flame... I think there's been a thing going on online where I see a lot of priviledging the twin flame connection over other kinds of soul mate connections and I don't think that's right. This also seems to involve romanticising some toxicity in these relationships like obsession, codependency, abandonment... Just... No.

That's not what you should be glorifying. I don't care if you feel like that person is your Twin Flame, if all the relationship does is make you feel bad about yourself then... Is that really what you want? Do you really want to see your divine counterpart as a person that treats you terribly? Or do you not think that by loving and respecting yourself to the highest degree first, you will attract the truest and highest love into your life who will also love you on that level and allow you to love them the same because they too are an evolved soul full of love...

Yes... As boring as it may sound, everyone, please... FOCUS ON LOVING YOURSELF FIRST!!! It really is the most important thing. When you have an incredible relationship with yourself, you are actually better able to enjoy incredible relationships with others. Sounds like something a boring great aunt might say, because it's absolutely true.

Anyway, this post has somehow become me ranting at you all to love yourselves... Besides the point. So Jungkook... In my future spouses reading on the members, you'll notice that for Jungkook I saw that he is already spiritually connected to his future spouse and that they dream about each other... That they will 'get' each other and have a fulfilling, healthy relationship... As far as I'm concerned... He will indeed meet a romantic soulmate in the future and that's who he'll marry. Could this also be a twin flame connection? Indeed it could.

Another aside... The reason I say 'romantic soulmate' is because actually, in life, we meet a lot of soulmates and not all are romantic... Some can be your bestfriends, some your family members, some teachers or mentors you meet along the way... The people who have huge impact on your personal growth and development, who help shape who you are, are very likely to be your soulmates. That is, members of the same soul group / family who help each other ascend spiritually.

So, for example, as far as I'm concerned, the members of BTS are all each other's soulmates (not just Jimin and Tae, although how great that they actually acknowledge their bond as such)... But that doesn't mean they don't have others and won't meet others in the future. There's lots of kinds of love in world and romantic love shouldn't be put on a pedestal above all others when there's so much we gain and learn from other connections.

Anyway... Sorry for this long meandering answer to your question... Hopefully it makes enough sense to follow... 😅💜

[supreme-stories-z]

Cosmo interview

Tell us Macarena, who is Barbara? She's a very chill person, she has an exceptional sense of humor that surprised me since we met, also she has a lot of swag and style and that's something i really appreciate. I like that she's very transparent

Barbara, who is Macarena? A person that really knows what she wants. She's always creating conections with people in general and with her family, organizing everything to hold on to them. She's very smart, sensitive and so beautiful

Macarena, what would yo like to see on Valentina's life? For her to not need approbation from others

And you Barbara, what would you like for Juliana? For her to fulfill her dreams and show everyone that all that matters is believing in yourself to get what you want

Macarena, what's a normal day without cameras? So normal. Generally i'd wake up early in the morning, even if i don't like it very much, but as i travel a lot i have to. I do excercise every day because i realized that it really grounds me; it's not to look good but to feel good, i like to be strong. I always try to give myself a moment during the day to talk to someone i love, maybe a friend or family, i like human contact and i try to do it everyday. I do everything in my power to work and then go to dance or have a cup of wine, or to a music festival or travel... everything that's living life it's very important, because we never know when will be our last day.

And you Barbara, what's a normal day without cameras? I love to spend time with my family and i try to cherish my friendships, so i go from place to place around the city to give everyone a little bit of my time. I love music, it gives me the chance to imagine a lot of stuff. I like to even go eat by myself, is one of the things that i enjoy the most in my free time.

Macarena, what do you admire about Barbara? A lot of things. I'm a person that really has to concentrate in something, because i can't do a lot of things at the same time, and she has that ability to be present here, make laugh the person in front of her and say hi to another person without forgeting that she's working. She does a lot of things at the same time, and all of them are well done, i admire that so much.

Barbi, what do you admire about Maca?

I admire her honesty, how transparent and clear she is about what she wants and her way to do that, because it's easy to get things cheating in this business, but she knows how to get what she wants, while me, i'm a little more scared about going for it. That's something i need to learn.

What did Maca feel when Valentina came out?

I think that's the scene where she really is aware of what she's going through. When she tells her brother it's the first time she says it out loud, because she hasn't even shared it with Juliana yet. She can finally express how much in love she's with a girl without knowing what she's gonna do next or what everyone will think, which desicions to make or how to react.

We did that scene in one take and the guy i did it with is Barbara's boyfriend, he's my brother in the story, so it was nice because i was talking to him about her real life girlfriend. It was a very tender moment, very moving and we both lived that nervousness and really teared up, we lived it on the flesh, we connected. Valentina felt free and a lot of clarity; the tricky thing is that the world ask us to label something that we're not even sure about, it's so unfair because everyone has the right to not know. For the first time she did it without the obligation of thinking before she spoke and that's when she asks herself, "did that really went out of my mouth?" she was thankful for being able to feel so free at last.

And what did Barbara feel when Juliana came out?

I felt so relieved; the situation was a lot more complicated with Juliana because she didn't have that much family or knowledge about her surroundings, for her it was very difficult to talk to someone... how do you come out in that situation? i felt really proud as Barbara, you need great courage to do something like that when you know you don't have those loving arms to protect you at the end, because it's only your mom and you, and it's very possible that she wont accept you. Juliana felt like that woman that she wanted to be, that woman that was trapped and couldn't come out and there's nothing more beautiful than that kind of freedom.

What makes you different from your characters?

B: the maturity and a bunch of things that now, as Barbara. i can understand and that Juliana still have to live through, but i identify a lot with her.

M: the same.

what's the biggest change in your acting for both of you?

M: i think everyone struggles with saying "no". We are taught since very little to never dismiss any oportunity even when you don't agree with what you're doing, we have to please everyone, and since i've met Barbara i've seen that clarity in her, about what she wants to do and move foward, she has this sweetness and capacity to say and execute things, that in a way empowers her because now she's always sure of what she wants. We were saying minutes ago, there's no place for half truths and not being transparent, life it's already so complicated for us to be pretending something we're not, so i think that's the most significative change. I know that for her this is really important.

B: I don't know, i thought more about our relationship, now we have a lot of trust in each other... now she's a lot more open with me.

Where do you want to direct your careers?

B: i'm not sure. Personally i look foward to challenge myself every day and do the things that i'm more afraid of, i love that... for now that'd be my dream.

M: I've never liked to set limits for myself, i always say that our imagination it's so little compared to the universe, what i look in my own career is to be able to follow my intuiton, that's the reason that brought me here. i want to be able to really feel my projects, to say yes "if i feel it" even if everyone else is saying "do this instead", We have to be a little cold blooded -in a good way-, have that kind of serenity and ask myself "what do i really want?", and keep having that priviledge of choosing where i'm going.

For both of you, what is love?

M: Love is to be present *very tricky translation btw*

B: Love is to put you on a test, is loving on good or bad times, is fighting and changing over time.

What do you look for in that special person to know you're in love and feel fully happy?

M: Hijo! *express surprise* i think we are wrong since the thought that the other person has the responsibility to make us happy, because i think that the first person that you've to fall in love with is yourself. If you let that be someone else’s responsibility, i'd hit you hard, because the day you stop being happy, then what? are you going to blame the other? For starters, i think you have to be responsable for yourself before you engage in a relationship with someone else and build a team. I always say, the “other half” thing i dont get it, i think we're both full oranges that complement each other. But first you have to be okay with yourself, because if you aren't, thet it gets really complicated.

B: i think being in love all the time doesnt exist, it's imposible, then for me love is just that. You're not always going to be 100 percent with that person but you still know they will be there for you, It's loving them like they're and them loving you like you're and pushing for a better version of yourselves.

How do you prepare for your roles?

B: As an actor you have a set of tips or skills, like writting, imagine about that person and in my case, i tought "what do i want to do now?" I know the character is written but besides that, i want to discover what i want to put from me in it. It's very difficult for me to describe, i feel that in the moment we're recording i'm really in their shoes, their life, and that's the moment when the magic starts.

M: When you find the place for you in the universe and understand your own human relationships that exist around you, your family and your fictional loved one, it gives you a lot of perspective. I mean, what the other person thinks and what they feel always affects you.

We broke it down lots of times, do you remember? The firsts episodes were really complex, beacuse a lot was happening. untill we kind of found our own flow. We broke down all the episodes and that's when we knew where the climax was coming and we build the story backwards with that knowledge, which made the process very interesting.

What does ir means for you to be representatives of the LGBT community?

B: It's an honor. I think that in life we have to do important statements, what you're pasionate about you have to take it beyond and do good for the world. I know this story has been so important for so many people and they put their trust in us, so definitely it's a great honor.

M: I think it brings sense to it all. I have a lot of ideals and most of the time it's hard to know how to approach them witout jugdement from outsiders; with this it all made sense, i found a way to support genuine people and it was a team effort, so to speak. It's okay not to be sure, it's okay if you regret it, it's okay to ask for forgiveness, things that are so simple but yet so hard.

I was saying earlier, for me this mesage was important because this are things i really belive in and are values that i have thet i want to shere with people out there. Our responsibility as spokespersons is not only with the LGBT community but with all the women out there fighting for their rights. It's very important to raise our voices, it doesn't matter if you define yourself or not.

B: i agree and also the important thing it's give support from the heterosexual side, no?

Someone close to you had a not expected reaction to your roles?

M: it's amazing the love this generated, you realize the need for comunication and acceptance, because every single one of us belongs to a minority. We just want to say, let's love each other!

Any woman has stopped to say pick up lines to you?

M: yeah and it's amazing, i'm very impressed, they even asked us to marry them!

B: That's the biggest accomplishment, Yeah it has happened, they didn0t sto us to say pick up lines, but yeah they have done that, they're very respectful

According to Juliana and Valentina, where does the strength of a woman resides?

B: in believing in yourself, because anything can happen if you belive, it's true.

M: Yeah and Barbara and Macarena also think the same. Also live with intention and not with expectations, because you can get very disappointed and that's not the case. Dreams are built not fulfilled.

At last, what resposibility does the media have with these kind of roles?

B: just to portray it as it is, we have to see things as they are and talk about them as we normally talk to each other. It's just another love story, with no labels.

M: its pretty amazing the message that's geting out there but the responsibility is mutual, because we can't share this without your help, or the producer or the writer. We are just the face and voice but behind - and also foward- there's a bunch of people. We have to thank you for this space because that's what makes the difference.

What does it means for you to do COSMO?

B: the triumph of love, no matter the gender

M: this is the triumph of the Juliantinas! of us, the team, because we also believe in this.

PSA: Maca is very tricky to translate, she speaks in riddles, even in spanish haha, if something doesn't make sense point it out, just did this at work trying to not get caught by my boss.

PSA2: Corrected a lot of stuff and also there was a first part of the interview that i added.

[pretentiouskneecaps]

Ask meme: 1, 23, 38 (because I have no idea how chaotic is chaotic ^_^ ) Thanks for giving me an excuse to ramble about things :)

Of course! Thanks right back at you :)

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

Oof, I think I started reading fic likeee 15 years ago? I was like 10. The fics in my first fandom were scattered on all sorts of sites specific to that fandom though, so I didn't discover ffn or any other collective fic site for a good year or two after that. I've been reading pretty much constantly since then!

For writing, I wrote maybe like one oneshot as a kid and I think it's lost to the internet forever, which is absolutely for the best. And then I never wrote again until I started writing for fair game a few months ago, except for a short oneshot I did back in 2018. I've always been in the habit of imaging scenarios and writing and rewriting scenes in my head, but I never felt confident enough to actually write any of them out before. I'm honestly pretty surprised I'm still writing things. It's been so much fun though, and my wip folder is not shrinking in size!

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Oooh, this is hard. My favorite to read would definitely be slow-burn tension because that is food for my soul, but I don't think I could quite pull it off yet. I'd love to try it one day, maybe.

I think maybe my favorite to write is when two people are quipping at each other and then one bait-and-switches to something genuine, or someone cracks and laughs, and it's followed by that moment of quiet where both characters just get to appreciate each other. A perfect encapsulated moment of understanding, regardless of what else is going on. Not sure if that's technically a trope that exists? But I like it :)

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I honestly have no idea how to gauge this 😆. I remember I went to a talk by an author once and she showed us how she wrote every scene for her books, in order, by hand. She would go back and scratch through scenes and rewrite them in the margins if she needed to edit. We passed her notebook around and to this day that is one of the wildest things I've ever seen and I'm in awe of her. My writing process is basically the exact opposite of that.

All of my fics start with some snippet of a scene that springs into my mind for who knows what reason. If my brain goes "ooooh" enough over it, I start thinking it through more deliberately and see where it goes. Once I've shaped it a little bit, I rush around to find my phone or my laptop to type it out before I lose the flow of the words. From there, I usually draft some kind of outline for the whole thing, type that up, and then just start writing wherever feels easiest. Which is often not the same part I started with, so then I end up with a bunch of disjointed bits of varying lengths that I have to figure out how connect later. My bracket priviledges should be revoked.

I tend to write in big bursts at the beginning and that goes pretty quick; most of the time it takes me to finish things comes from motivating myself to write through the gaps after I lose that initial energy. That, and I reread everything a ridiculous number of times to try and switch the language I use away from me-writing to something hopefully closer to the character's voice. I try to look at things at least once every few days, even if all I do is tweak here and there.

I think I'm going to rate that maybe a 6 or a 7? Maybe that's not a good estimate, but I feel very chaotic doing it 😆

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Harry saying he still hasn’t found any cause to fight for talking like the white rich straight guy he is. How come people can’t see what he really is

This is a very short anon, but there are a lot of underlying assumptions that I fundamentally disagree with.

On social media, it gets treated as a truism by a lot of people that not being involved in politics is a sign of priviledge.  But it’s not true - it’s complete and utter nonsense.  There are lots of ways of dealing with oppression and collective resistance is only one of them.  Whenever I say people say that disengagement from politics is a sign of privilege, I genuinely wonder about their life experience.  Both whether they’ve actually been involved with politics and also whether they’ve spent time with a range of people. (And like to say this now! Like one of the key points about the British election results is that the fact that things are shit isn’t enough to make people who are screwed over believe that they can get better).

So the idea that you can tell a celebrities sexuality from the way they do or don’t choose to engage with politics is absurd (and shows a complete lack of knowledge of any kind of political history.  Some of the most prominent acts to play Sun City were white queer celebrities - and I don’t think it’s coincidence that ‘keep politics out of music’ was attractive to them).

To move on to what Harry said and the context:

I’ve noticed, though, how rarely Styles directs people to support specific causes, last doing so in 2018, when he encouraged people to join a march against gun violence. Why don’t you use your influence more, I ask? “Because of dilution. Because I’d prefer, when I say something, for people to think I mean it.” He runs his fingertips across the table. “To be honest, I’m still searching for that one thing, y’know. Something I can really stand up for, and get behind, and be like: This Is My Life Fight. There’s a power to doing the one thing. You want your whole weight behind it.”

I found this hard to react to - because it’s the antithesis of everything I believe about politics.  I think that all political struggles are connected - and the more you build those connections and solidarities the stronger any political struggle will be. 

And even in terms of celebrity politics - no celebrity who is actually doing useful political work is just looking at one issue. To choose some names at random: Tom Morello, Jade Thirwell, Rob Delaney, Stormzy - none of them treat political statements as something that can be diluted.

But I can have some sympathy with what Harry’s saying, if I try and understand how Harry thinks of ‘politics’ as a category (and that’s quite obviously very differently from the way I think about ‘politics’ as a category).  I think he probably sees politics mainly in terms of saying things.  And given that reluctance to say things is a more general feature of Harry being a celebrity and his lack of involvement with actual politics - it doesn’t surprise me that he sees things in this way.  And if all you see politics as being about is speaking to your audience - then being silent is heaps more complicated and has some virtues (And while I don’t think we can assume things that Harry doesn’t say - he could have totally legitimate concerns about his lack of knowledge and how his voice is automatically amplified).

I do think that frustration and: ‘What the fuck are you talking about? How can you look around the world at the moment and not see something that is your life’s work?’ - are completely legitimate responses to what Harry says.  There is no obligation for fans, or Guardian readers, to look at things from Harry’s point of view.  I think that Laura Snapes’ discussion on twitter articulates some of that really well. 

And that question of perspective (as well as the nonsense logic) is why I think it’s absurd to be so narrow when saying ‘this is what this quote tells us about Harry’.  I think what Harry said was absurd nonsense.  But if I want to come conclusions about what it tells me about who Harry is from a person, then I do have to at least consider how he sees the world, and what his perspective might be.

[couragehopelovefaith]

Bravo, “Shadowhunters”-crew! Not even five seconds for 3x16 and I was already crying my eyes out. That must be a new record for me. That first scene.. oh, dear. My heart was shattered. I loved the domestic they were. Alec having learned about cooking and dancing by the influence of Magnus.. perfecto. Knowing how nervous Matt was about dancing, he did a great job. Alec’s speech and honesty next to Magnus’ hospital bed and to Lorenzo are one of the most heartfelt moments from this series, to me. I liked that we, perhaps for a split of a second, could see the more humane side of Lorenzo, but it didn’t make me feel sorry for him, even for a one bit. When he said that Magnus was born priviledged, I seriously wanted to throw something at him. That asshole is so full of himself it makes me wanna barf! The only decent thing he ever did in this show was removing the magic. Matt’s acting was amazing, you could see that he was trying so hard to follow Catarina’s advice and be polite. When Magnus woke up, I literally screamed. You know it's going to be somewhat okay (even we sadly know that it will last only for a minute), when the first thing Magnus worries about are his clothes. But you also know from the scene where they argue that this is the lowest and most in denial that Magnus has ever been (beside that off-screen moment when he was ready and tried to kill himself). Even though Alec is absolutely honest about Magnus being his only chance for true love, about the strengths of his mate...we can just clearly see that Magnus doesn’t believe that. “I have everything I need right here” is making my heart beam and surely partly sincere, but it’s plain to see that he is heartbroken because of losing his magic. The way he leans on Alec for support and is afraid of Alec leaving him.. all of this breaks my heart. 

I was so excited about meeting the Seelie Queen and Kain again. I didn’t see her new form coming, but the actress was actually really good fit. Am I losing my mind or did you guys see the special connection between her and Jonathan? Has there been something between them? Kain’s actor is marvelous in my eyes. I just feel so sorry for him. The scene and connections and similarities between him and Simon are great and inspirational.

Clary… I know you’ve been through a rough time and the mark is effecting you, but could you see other people around you as well? We haven’t seen you talking to Magnus even for ONCE after you escaped from Jonathan. Not even an apologize for Simon, your best friend? At least you showed some compassion for Kain and Simon stood up for Jace. Did you see Izzie’s proud smile after that, by the way? It makes sense that it’s Jace who can keep Clary out of darkness. Anyway, I was all in for Morgernsterns to face Lilith. The one fact about Jonathan - the fact that I love - is you never quite know where he stands. How much he actually cares and where his loyalties lie. I love that their mother-son-moment was both creepy and yet so casual. Like mother, like son, it would seem. It would be the bomb to see Lilith and Asmodeus meeting. So exciting to finally hear more about the story between Lucifer and Michael and Heavenly fire.

I love the fact that Maryse got that shop for herself, finally visited Luke and refused to leave him behind. The man who is actually one of the strongest ones in this show. I just hope that he won’t push everyone away while trying to protect his loved ones. It might be hard at this point, but I really wish we got to see more of their past. 

Sizzy.. really conflicted about them right now. On the other hand I love their connection: how they are real with each other, how Simon makes her smile and teaches her all the mundane stuff (how has Izzie been able not to hear about pinky-swear, though? *haha*). But other side of me crosses her fingers for them to stay single for a while. But since the show is ending (*fighting back the weep*), if they won’t get together now, it will feel very rushed in some people’s eyes. So I don’t know. I wanna know how things would’ve turned out if this show got yet another season. This is so unfair.

The ending was surprises after another. I never thought Kain would agree to help Lilith, but I understand why he did. Luke getting out, Simon biting Jonathan, and Clary imprisoning him were not what I expected, at least yet at this point. Alec meeting her mother about proposing and the fact how genuinely happy she was for both of them showed how far they have come and it made me beam - and cry. But as we all know, things will get messier soon. 

This season just keeps getting even better and better. I refuse to see 3x17 promo on purpose, since I want no expectations for the next week. But it will sure as hell (no pun intended) be awesome.

(+ I forgot to add the fact that it is heartbreaking that Alec is scratching his hand because it shows that his tendencies of harming himself are still underneath..)

[kyulkyungs]

enemies-to-lovers!jisung

Request: hi hi! could you please write an enemies-to-lovers au with either chenle or jisung please?? and if you don’t mind could you make it quite angsty? thank you💌🌸🍄 (Hello!!!! This is a sure can do! Here you are and thank you!~ I did a coin toss, and Jisung was chosen!!)

others: lucas | yuta | renjun | hendery

jisung is constantly praised for his feats and manages to always prove that he can do much more than other’s expectations

he excelled especially in dance

out of the entire school he attended, he never failed to rank in the top 5... most often being number one in his area

and what comes with being number one is the respect, connections, friends, and priviledges

for his age, this was an amazing feat as he was in a better place than most adults working in the same field

better yet he was astounding at most dances people brought up to him

tango, waltz, ballet, hip hop, breakdancing, modern, foxtrot, all that jazz

he even choreographed his own dances from time to time

even got to be a guest instructor to kid’s dance class once and they videoed it and sent it to youtube where he skyrocketed there and not just in the area

all in all, jisung is oftentimes always number one

and you’re always stuck at number two

no matter what you did, you could never be on the same level as him

number two was a good spot, a great one really

but whenever jisung came into the room, the admiring people flocking you ran off to go see him instead

you also posted your own dance covers on youtube and gained quite the amount of recognition there

to the point where dance studios asked for you to come to a class to dance with them once

and you did

but always, always 

there were the comments that said ‘i hoped jisung was in there!’ , ‘can you also bring jisung???’ , ‘maybe do a collab with jisung, i think they’d go really well with his dance!’

they never focused....... on you

sure, yes, yeah. jisung was a great dancer... is, but it never felt great knowing that nobody acknowledged you for the same

at your age, your skill level, your ranking, nobody wanted anything to do with you if jisung were also in the equation

honestly you didn’t mind sometimes

you weren’t used to the attention some of the times and jisung handled it all, which was the only great part about this thing

but otherwise........ you were stuck in his shadow

heck even number 3, 4, 5...... they were getting the amount of attention they should be getting...... but number 2... who? yes... that’s you

every now and then there’d be that one pairing assignment and everyone usually went with jisung

and when he was taken you were always left with whoever didn’t have a partner

‘wait so why are you complaining? you’re number two!’

‘exACTLY JENO!! i’m only second best...’

jeno sighs and resumes dancing position and motions for you to do the same

he’s most often your partner because he lurks back and lets everyone else choose and then fills in

other times it’s jaemin who spins into your direction and is like ‘will you have this dance?’

those two highlight your classes honestly and get your mind off your problems 

eventually the instructor calls time and to gather back up

you’re still complaining to jeno until the instructor calls for the top three of the class to step up

proudly, jisung steps up first and you’re like >:I and you step up afterwards one of the senior students sicheng steps up

the rest of the class get dismissed while they start talking to you three and they’re like

‘we have a showcase along with the other top schools and each one is sending their best three, that’s you guys.’

and you all nod because of course yeah sure, and then they say

‘the thing is we are only allowed to have one solo and one partner dance. so decide amongst yourselves, hm?’

and instantly sicheng steps up and is like, ‘i can do the solo. i haven’t done one in a while and the choreo i’ve worked on for two years is finally perfected.’

and the instructor is like :)! sure! okay! that means you and jisung work out the partner dance

sicheng turns and is like, sorry you guys don’t mind, right?

and the both of you shrug and are pretty okay with it because hey we kind of have to dance anyways and plus he’s older sooo

but regardless he just smiles at you two and promises to buy you both some snacks later on as a repayment

so you and jisung turn towards each other and are like, so we have to figure this out huh?

and you’re thinking it’s honestly not that bad when the two of you are trying to decide what style of dance you’re doing

and since most of the top dancers from other schools are modern or ballet, and even sicheng is going to do something like that

you two decide to do something more intense, with a song with a lot of beats and snappy movements

while searching for songs and asking some people for recommendations you think that working with jisung isn’t bad and you were wrong for disliking him just because of his rank

he was so calm and so focused

until it came to the actual crafting of the dance

often times the dancers look like they’re in the mood of the song and the dance

and when i said the dance was more intense, it was. more intense

jisung was incredibly serious about creating this choreo and perfecting it

no matter what moves you suggested, jisung would insist that his would fit more and then move on

every now and then he did try out something you offered, but he’d always morph it into something of his own

you wanted to do some fancy footwork in one spot and jisung thought that it was better to do a transition to a different spot

you wanted to add more fluid motions and rolling movements and jisung said that more snapping of the hips and arms would be more suited

you thought that perhaps at least some interaction between the two of you in the dance, as there was none at all, would be great

and jisung thought that his way was far better than yours

not only was he the royal prince of the dancing school, but he was also a royal pain in the butt to work with

‘do this. no this. not that. like this. move fast. arms wide. feet closer. head high.’

you could see the frustration on his part when you refused to be compliant with him, and he grew increasingly more commanding to you over the next few weeks

honestly you were dead tired every practice

jisung would make you stay back late to work on the dance with him or to add something or change something

until one practice you fell over during a spin and instead of cutting the music and asking if you were fine, jisung just........ kept dancing and gave you a side glare as if you were such a problem

you were so. angry because first of all how dare he? and secondly, what did you even do to be treated like this from him?

you hobble over to the music player and shut if off, and only then does jisung stop and he sighs and rubs his face

he’s about to make some sort of comment but you beat him to it

‘what is wrong with you?’

‘me?’ he asks, as if you personally offended him. ‘what’s wrong with you? why can’t you get the moves right?’

‘not only is my body completely tired and destroyed from your controlling self, but i literally had no say in these moves and some of them i can’t do!’

jisung sneers and is tugging a little at his hair and just blurts out

‘i don’t even see why you’re second place! you’re not even good enough for 1,000th if you can’t do these stinkin’ moves!’

you just stand there and when you see that he doesn’t regret his words after saying this to your face you just grit your teeth and start walking towards your stuff

‘and where are you going now?’ he asks and you try your hardest not to snap right there so you turn around while packing up and go

‘i’m quitting’

jisung’s face morphs to one of shock ‘what?’

‘i’m. quitting.’

and it’s not the shock you imagined because jisung says ‘but who else will i dance with? on such short notice too! the showcase is in a week!’

and you just shrug on your bag and walk out with a wave saying, ‘why don’t you find someone who you deem deserving of second place instead of a lowly thorn in your side like me?’

and the next day when jisung walks in to see you talking to the instructor with your back to him

he feels some relief washing into him and is like phew they were just overreacting yesterday

but then he sees both the teacher and you look at your ankle and he trails his eyes down too and......

you have your ankle wrapped up in a brace and you’re actually putting a lot of weight on your other foot

the teacher nods and starts talking more and and jisung is able to hear clearly once he gets closer

‘when do you think you’ll be returning?’

you shift and that’s when you turn and see jisung watching your conversation, and this makes you bite the inside of your cheek like ughhh

but you answer loud and proud like

‘i’m not sure. they said it was only minor so i don’t have to be in the brace for long.................. but i might take a break for a while. i don’t think i’ll have the motivation to dance.’

the instructor is really understanding, truly, because of the stress and pressure you put yourself through

but jisung only now just realizes that oh snap they really did run their body worn

the dark circles under your eyes, the messy hair, the way you were holding your shoulder, too, crumpled clothes...... hey isn’t that the shirt you wore last night??

jisung sighs to himself because he really did it this time

the instructor thinks for a moment and asks what about jisung?

to which you give him the side eye and go ‘it’ll be fine. the choreo can do so much better without me anyways. it was practically a solo with a backup dancer.’

they laugh and are like oh haha you’re so modest but yeah i’m sure jisung could handle this well

then you start to head over to the side to talk with some of your friends and tell them the news

while this happens jisung tries to take his mind off things and continue working on the dance the two of you................ he was working on

your absence wasn’t really noted by everyone else in the class, but it was the most prominent to jisung

he kept thinking back to the choreo and it really....... wouldn’t change much if there was only one person to dance he realizes

he was so caught up in making the dance himself that he included only himself pretty much

two days before the competition jisung is walking back to the practice room because he wants to get the dance down even with you gone

but as he nears the door, he can see the lights on and can hear music playing

he opens the door quietly and he peeks in bc what is going on???? he wanted to practice????

he stays quiet when he realizes that it’s you who’s dancing...............

to the song that you both picked out, really the only thing you had agreed with

you’re dancing to the song, and it seems like your ankle had gotten better as it wasn’t that bad of a fall

still you were mindful, but yet your dancing was so smooth and so sharp and just the way you envisioned the song to be

the way you moved, jisung agreed with himself when you weren’t deserving of number 1000th

no, that’d be way too insulting

heck, no wonder you were in the top three

your potential wasn’t at it’s peak with jisung weighing you down like this

and boy did he feel bad :( 

you were trying really hard and you truly did want to dance and jisung was only ruining that for you

he didn’t mean to

not after.....................

jisung decided to watch as you performed the dance a couple more times and even hid when you thought it was time to leave

tbh, jisung spent all of his time watching you and it was time for him to go home as well

but he decided to continue and stay and practice because he had something to work on

you were so passionate, so in the moment and it was...... beautiful

but he decided to continue and stay and practice because he had something to work on

timeskip~~~ to~ the~~~ competition~~~~~ 

(what was that aslkdg sorry it’s super late and i shouldn’t be up = stop me now)

anyways

the teacher invited you to the showcase anyways to support the other two and to be a representative regardless, just as one on standby

you’re sitting in the crowd and there’s a couple of kids from other schools talking with you and expressing their sympathies for your ankle, which was mostly fine but braced up again since you did put a lot of strain on it before when you were dancing (haha, oops)

all of a sudden jisung rounds over and the others turn their attention on him not surprisingly

they greet him in respect and try to make conversation but he’s waving them off and asks if he can steal you away for a second

you’re confused but they back off immediately and allow him to have you to himself for a little bit

‘what?’ jisung tries not to flinch at the sharpness of your tone but he looks you in the eyes and just says

‘i saved you a seat by the front.’

then he walks away and leaves you there and you’re like 

???? uh what ???

you’re wondering if this is to rub in your face about having the dance to himself and witnessing all his glory

but nonetheless, you take the seat because hey it’s already pretty filled up with people with cameras and scouts and just audience members

you find the seat easy by the jacket jisung had worn a couple times at practice before

when you sit down the air moves around you from how quickly and forcefully you sat down and you’re taken in and surrounded by jisung’s scent

whatever it may be, his shampoo, deodorant, cologne even.............. it’s nice

as you watch the performances from the others schools you’re honestly so enraptured by them all and you know exactly why they rank so high

heck some of them you were so awed by their stage outfits themselves

there would be one more dance before an intermission and then the rest of the perfomances

and, of course, that last one would be jisung’s

you look around at the audience and see that they’ve all gone quiet

you had hoped that jisung at least seated you around the others because hey usually people stick in their groups y’know

but, i mean, then again why would he if he thought you weren’t worthy then hey the others were probably even worse

when he finally walks up on stage you see him in a stage outfit and his hair done nicely 

just by how he carried himself to position on stage you could tell, as well as everyone else

that this would be a good performance

although you personally did not like his created choreography, it fit better with him

which was probably why he made it that way....................

a moment before the music started, jisung locked eyes with you

and you felt no malice or superiority or power or even regret or anything

he was just...... looking at you

then he started out

you didn’t realize it at first until you saw some complex footwork that led into a smooth roll of his body in tandem with the beat

this was your choreo

the one that you made

honestly you’re so mesmerized by him dancing and watching him add in a spin

even though he’s dancing solo it almost looks like..........

that he’s reaching out to you

multiple times he looks out into the crowd and he always lingers on you

multiple times he reaches him arm out and it looks like he’s trying to get to you

multiple times he gets near the end on the stage almost in hopes of jumping down and running out

to you

this made you so confused because.......... what was he doing???

this wasn’t the dance, this wasn’t what you two were working, this wasn’t something you got to show him at all

the dance ends and as the lights dim, you see him glance up and make eye contact with you again right before it fades to where you can’t see him anymore

in the low light you can see his figure sprinting off the stage and the lights turn back on and every sits up

everything is in motion

everything except you

you continue watching the spot where jisung had last been standing, and soon he’s there again

this time, just closer and right in front of you

‘what is it?’ you ask, and this time it’s soft, because your tone is laced with wonder and confusion

jisung takes this as a good sign and kneels down in front of you where you sit in the chair still, looking up into your eyes

‘i’m sorry.’

you stare back at him and cock an eyebrow ‘what?’

he takes in a deep breath and can’t meet your eyes for a moment

‘i’m so sorry. i’m stupid all of the time and can’t keep my mouth shut. i never should have said those things to you...’

‘so that up there? was that an apology?’ jisung thinks a little bit and decides to nod instead of saying anything ‘why?’

‘i wanted to show everyone how talented you are’

‘jisung, nobody saw me up there at all. i don’t even get to dance for another couple of days because of you.’

jisung hangs his head and grasps your hands tightly when he realizes that you’re getting angrier with him

‘please,’ he whispers

you can still hear him even in the loud crowd in the room and the bustling of feet and the shouting kids

‘don’t quit, please’

you think back and remember what you had said angrily to him.

‘i’m quitting.’

you sigh and pull your hands away and tell him that you’re not quitting dancing, but you might take a break from being one of the top ten for a while

jisung looks back up and is like ‘but you deserve so much more!’

you huff and are like but that’s not what you said a couple days ago...

jisung visibly flinches this time and smacks his forehead, clenching his fists tightly

‘i do that because i’m mad!’ he blurts out

you stay quiet to let him continue, watching him unfold for the first time

‘do you know how many times i would just hand you over number one just because? i just saw you one day and thought you were the most talented, beautiful being i laid my eyes on! i can’t hand over my position because they don’t listen when i say you deserve it and it makes me so mad i can’t just give it up for you’

you watch jisung drag his hands down his face and angry tears come into his eyes

‘i just want to make you happy, and seeing how unhappy you are looking at me sometimes makes me angry because i can’t do anything about it and i don’t know why’

before jisung starts to ramble more and continue raising his voice, you take his hands this time and rub them gently

‘jisung, quiet down’

he takes a deep breath and hangs his head, telling you that he’s sorry

‘have you just been acting on your anger this whole time?’

sheepishly, he nods and takes one of his hands to wipe at his face

you beat him to it and rub at the corners of his eyes

seeing him like this.......... even though he said such mean things to you......... he apologized and all you wanted to do was cradle the boy at that moment

‘dancing is when i can get my emotions loose... i tend to act more on them too...... i just get really emotional when i see you....... seeing you upset makes me upset and..... i couldn’t control it’

you jolt up for a second, realizing what jisung has been meaning this whole time

‘hey,’ you call and jisung looks up

only to be met with your lips to his cheek

when you pull away he’s blushing hard and looks confused

regardless, he starts breaking out into a smile ones he sees the small one you’re wearing now

‘i don’t think you noticed, but i think it means you like me, dummy’

[pooma-unvolunteers]

LIFE IS CRAZY RIDE SO ITS PRIVILEDGE TO HAVE OUR LOVED ONES WITH US IN THIS WORK BALANCE IN PANDEMIC

2020 has thrown plenty of curve balls at everyone. One thing that has affected many of our lives is transitioning from in person to virtual work settings. In addition, many of us are managing our children at home while trying to work. How do we manage our time and keep our balance when work life and home life are constantly overlapping if not downright merging? Working in terminology and informatics requires a fair amount of attention to detail and focus, as do many other jobs. How do we maintain this level of dedication while still caring for young children that need help with school, snacks and supervision?

There’s a lot to process when work and living conditions are changing on the daily. So what can you do to balance your mental health when everything around you is changing?

It’s understandable to feel unsettled at this time. Whether you’re a business owner who employs staff or a sole trader, a manager at an organisation or an employee, your workplace may be facing difficult times and it’s normal to consider what that means for you.

There are many actions that employees, managers and business owners should take in their normal everyday lives to protect and nurture their mental health. And these still apply in the current circumstances.

• Be realistic about what can be achieved.

• Keep the hours you work in check and be mindful of work-life balance.

• Stay in touch with family and friends.

• Eat well, sleep well and stay physically fit.

• Try and find time to switch off from technology.

• Monitor warning signs of poor mental health.

• Reach out to mentors and colleagues for support.

• Maintain interests outside work.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Access information and support services.

• Consult someone if you have anyone….

Pause for a moment and take a deep breath. As you know, we are still in the midst of a global pandemic. While there’s good news about vaccines coming, it does little to change our current situation. Many of us will continue to work at home, simultaneously juggling multiple roles, for some time to come.

If you’re asking yourself “What can I do to keep it together? How do I stay sane and keep a healthy work-life balance?,” you’re not alone.

There are many ways to redefine work-life balance during the pandemic:

1. Reflect on why work-life balance matters to you. Why is it important? If you don’t maintain a healthy work-life balance, what will the consequences be? What will happen if you continue doing what you are doing now for another six months, or even a year?

We need a work-life balance to feel good, but also to do good. And when I say, “do good,” I am referring to brainpower, decision-making, creativity, empathy, problem-solving, etc. – all those qualities we need to be a good leader, parent, or contributor. So work-life balance is not “nice to have” – it’s critical.

2. Define your home office. Remove the “temporary” sign and make your workspace work for you. Even if you are sharing it with others, this is where you do your work using your brainpower, decision-making, creativity, empathy, problem-solving, etc. and that means your space should be as free from distractions as possible. Ask yourself: does this space gives me energy? What can I do to make it feel like my special creative space?

Remove the "temporary" sign and make your workspace work for you.

There are no corporate or HR rules to define what your special place should look like. I knew I’d succeeded when the rest of my family started to beg to be allowed to come and do their school assignments and work meetings in my office.

Don’t forget factors such as temperature, air quality, and lighting. We all know how draining it can be to sit in a small, uncomfortably warm space all day. Consider getting a flexible desk that allows you to either stand or sit (and perhaps be adjusted to accommodate the height of various family members).

3. Set boundaries. Establish a clear start and end point to your workday. Even having coached many leaders in the past months on how to work remotely, I struggle with this.

Studies suggest that eliminating the daily commute was a win for most of us. But the flip side is that we are spending that time on additional work. All our devices are right there in front of us, tempting us to do just one more email, one more report, one more quick check-in.

Here is another advantage of creating a separate workspace: You can leave it. Maybe you can even close the door. Set your office hours and stick to them. Don’t abandon the habit of weekly planning; expand it. Communicate it to everyone who shares your office space, including spouses, children, roommates (and maybe even pets if they are part of your weekly plan and daily activities!).

4. Keep moving! It’s said that sitting for four hours without proper movement can shorten our lives by 11 minutes. Hold a “walk and talk” meeting with a team member. Keep your yoga pants on so you can quickly move to the mat when the workday is finished. Engage the family in a pre-dinner dance party or a plank challenge. A standing desk can also help you stay more active even while you’re working.

KISI NE SACH HI KAHA HAI…………HE DOST KABHI SAGHKARSH KO ESSE PADKAR DEKH……….SAGH PLUS HARSH BUS PHIR DUNIYA BADAL JAYEGHI….SO…..

5. Find moments of stillness. Nobody will notice if you sit down and close your eyes for a moment. Find a quiet corner and take a moment to just sit and think. Seeing things from a new perspective can generate new ideas. Take a quiet walk before an important meeting. Stillness creates space that helps us make better decisions.

6. Connect with others. Spend time with others outside your immediate circle. Remember back when we could grab coffee with a colleague and chat about work, social activities, weekend plans, or just about anything else? Many people feel overwhelmed by meetings these days. That’s in part because of what’s missing: small talk. Connections. Reach out to a colleague or someone you haven’t spoken to recently and catch up over a 20-minute virtual coffee break.

7. Finally, remind yourself that this pandemic will not last forever. And while not everything will go back to the way it was before, many things will. Take another deep breath and consider the perks of the life you are leading now. Define what’s positive for you and the people around you. Cherish it.

Give gratitude to god and thank you to our loved ones who are with us in this work balance during pandemic… Focus on what's good in your life to get through these trying times. believes that gratitude is an effective way for all of us to combat stress, anxiety and other difficult emotions.

"Small daily rituals make people more grateful by putting things into perspective and helping them focus on things they are thankful for, rather than things they can't control,”

“It's very hard to be stressed and grateful at the same time.” But we are doing in grateful manner….right…

{Author: DR SHELLY BHUTANI PRINCIPAL, PASSIONATE LEADER, AUTHOR, MENTOR, CBSE NATIONAL MASTER TRAINER}

[blastoisemonster]

Uncatchable Mew

It’s been one year since I’ve bought those two Pokèmon Green cartridges. Although I’m not usually the person to collect double titles, I chose to get two of them for various reasons. First off, I edited one of them into a custom “western design” Green to go along with my italian Blue, Red and Yellow releases. Second, I needed two japanese cartridges in order to trade Pokèmon back and forth. It seems ironic that despite the Game Boy virtually had no region lock, its cartridges stumbled upon such trading problems; nowaday’s Nintendo handhelds are heavily region locked but the Pokèmon themselves can be traded with anyone anywhere via Internet connection.

Anyways, I needed to be able to transfer monsters in Green because, since I’ve ever gotten my first Pokèmon title, I’ve always wanted to complete a Pokèdex with Mew, and show my lucky catch around. Well, I wasn’t the only one: everyone who was into 1st Generation Pocket Monsters aspired to obtain the legendary pink kitty, hence why most rumors and urban legends were centered on it and videogame magazines advertised their Gameshark code guides as a selling point. Hell, even Pokèmon World published such codes several times throughout their issues.

In all honesty there was a way to get a legit Mew in Blue and Red, as the pink monster, obviously already added into the cartridge’s code, became available for a short period of time during Nintendo-licensed live events; unfortunately for Italy, though, these events didn’t occur in our country until the third generation spawned out. So yeah, Nintendo didn’t want us italians to have such priviledge. All that was left for us was to either cheat, glitch, or try one of those absurd urban legends. Amongst the latter, S.S. Anne Truck’s theory sparked as the most plausible “secret gateway” to Mew: an unseen, unique graphical spot, normally unaccessible, must’ve been placed there for a specific reason! Such trail of thoughts appeared legit and everyone who wanted to add the 151st monster to their dex avoided to make the S.S. Anne depart in order to get back to Vermillion City’s harbor later with Surf and Strength moves (in order to, allegedly, shift the vehicle) usable out of the battle. The S.S. Anne was the only way to obtain HM01 Cut, though, which is essential in order to advance further into the adventure, so trading a Pokèmon that knew such a move became an obligatory step for such a strategy. The truck trick (deheheheh) was later discovered to be just a bunch of bull like any other urban legend, but most hopeful people still thought there was something hidden in there; and since western Red and Blue were none other than an updated version of Green, it seemed obvious that whatever was under the truck was still hiding in those first cartridges. I honestly didn’t know what to believe; I’ve never been a fan of Gamesharks and I still think glitching heavily ruins your savestate, so for me, believing that Green version’s truck still triggered a Mew encounter was a good hope to hang on to.

I started my adventure on the western-edited cart and a few days ago, I’ve reached the mystic truck. One of the most relevant obstacles was obviously its language; I have a special love for foreign ones but unfortunately, for what it concerns Japanese, I only know Katakana alphabeth and I can count up to 10, which haven’t been very useful during this run. Sure, we’re still talking about Gen 1 core games, so I know what to do and where to go next, but I’ve had trouble arranging items in my bag or deciding which attack was worth keeping when my Pokèmon grew up. Bulbapedia has solved 70% of these problems, but for some of the items I had to turn to Google Translator with... unsatisfying results.

Yeah, me too >__>

Except for that, I’ve had fun playing a Gen 1 game once again. Everytime I start a new Blue/Red/Yellow adventure, I build my party following a certain theme and this time I decided to train mostly venomous monsters. It started out pretty nice! I had Bulbasaur, Nidoran Female and Beedrill at first, and at Mt.Moon I got myself a Zubat. Beedrill in particular was a hell to catch, as Weedle was uniquely rare this time and the only one I’ve found has been accidentally knocked out by Nidoran. I had to resort catching a Kakuna which only knew Harden... until level 12. D: But as soon as it learned Fury Attack, it revealed to be a very powerful monster to train! That and the subsequent Double Needle it learned have solved many battles, especially against psychic and poison types. It has made me realize how underrated Bug Pokèmon are. Then, things have completely changed once I decided to train a Clefairy/Clefable. It was probably a case of those IV stats I’ve never bothered to check, but I think what I had found is the most ripped Clefairy ever. As soon as it was caught, it has started one-shotting Rocket goons here and there, and most importantly, it learned every single TM! So far, the guy knows BubbleBeam, Mega Punch, Seismic Toss and Thunder: it’s a giant tank ready to take down whatever type he’s facing. Anyway, I’ve decided to break the Poison type rule and keep it in my party along with... a Slowpoke, which substituted my Nidoqueen: I like to train underdogs. In short, except for the starter and Nidoran I’ve trained monsters I had never seriously added in my party before: that felt new and interesting! Then finally, just yesterday I’ve reached the infamous truck.

Ah, there it is! Created just to never be seen, sitting there for no purpose whatsoever. It’s also the only known motorized land vehicle in all Kanto! Who knows, maybe developers thought that the Game Boy screen vould have zoomed out more and shown at least its muzzle, but no, it’s too far for the “camera” to reveal it. Now that I think about it, the fact that it lies offscreen is exactly the reason why it’s been the subject of many rumors; by itself, it shouldn’t strike as weird as any other piece of graphics: it’s just a standard pick-up truck, there’s tons of them in real life, so this shouldn’t come off as unique. Would it ever gained the same popularity if it was, instead, shown on the normal map clear as day? The reality here is that people have a magnetic fascination for the unknown. What’s hiding among the stems of tall grass over those fences in Route 1? What’s that space behind Bill’s house? What happens to the third starter, who was left at Oak’s place? We know the answer is “nothing”, but we like to let our imagination run wild, and some people need to prove it by themselves.

Just like I feared, the truck didn’t budge no matter how much I tried and had no interaction at all, revealing itself to be, of course, just a graphical detail. What was nothing but a urban legend for Red and Blue was also true for Pokèmon Green, and once again Mew remains uncaught. Though at this point, I’m not even disappointed: the truck rumor has lead me to play this beautiful title once again (in a language I don’t know, even!), train friendly and strong mosnters whch have happily surprised me, and dream once again like a hopeful kid.

I’ve decided to leave my game incomplete and stop my adventure there, at the Vermillion City harbor, just in front of the ship that has never sailed away. In some way, I think it’s symbolic. I’m in a spot where I’m not supposed to be, after seeing things that have been purposely hidden, because I wanted to check the reality of a fake legend all by myself: and so my journey for the uncatchable Mew ends.

[ssaalexblake]

In reference to your Asher live blogs he made good points. Michaela is the only person he has left in terms of family and the whole reason he fell out of touch with his father were the lies that he told him so it’s kinda of like this person who he has left is lying to him and sneaking around and it makes sense why he would be mad like I feel like that can’t really be invalidated also I the person to really blame overall is Laurel for how she acted

Michaela didn't tell him anything and lied to him so he wouldn't get murdered. I feel like maybe that was something he could maybe have considered in his assessment of the situation once he got past his gut reaction. Like, it's not like Michaela didn't tell him because she thought he was boring to be around, or something superficial. She was genuinely trying to keep him safe and alive. One of her main thoughts throughout this was actually his safety. Unlike his main thought on this. Which is, you know, all about him. And instead of worrying that his girlfriend whom he "loves" was doing something that could get her killed, his biggest issue was that he wasn't told about it, which suddenly morphs into his biggest problem being that she kept the wedding dress she never got to wear, because like, OF COURSE Michaela is supposed to have no emotional connection to her past at all!!! because as always, this is only about Asher! Michalela only gets to have emotional attachments to the parts of her life he's in. Michaela doesn't know best about her own family life and past. Michaela just doesn't get it!!! like dude, what the fuck. She loved a guy, she's allowed to have a past and remain attached to that past without it meaning she doesn't care about him. If he honest to god thinks that Michaela keeping that goddamn dress means he doesn't mean enough to her, he's not even marginally mature enough to be anywhere near her. She's not some inexperienced 18 year old girl, she's a woman with a past and romantic history, and she's allowed to have that without being manipulated to think she's being unfailthful or straight up not good enough for him because she has feelings and emotions regarding that past. But again, all of this goes back to the fact that all of this is about him. I don't begrudge him being pissed off, it's a natural instinct, it's how his anger demonstrated how much of a self centered bag of dicks he still is that i am disgusted at. He's not mature enough to be in a relationship with her, he demonstrated that by not being able to handle that she wasn't quite ready to let go of a wedding dress that she had absolutely NO intention of wearing for her ex-fiance. Hell, fuck, she's not loaded, he didn't even know if she was keeping it to wear for when she did eventually get married, which honestly wouldn't surprise me from (formerly) rich white guy who got given everything by dad. And then, instead of stopping Michaela from throwing $20,000 down the fucking drain, he straight up lets her destroy the dress. For nothing but his babyish ego. Last I checked she was supporting them both, in her own apartment, while he does nothing, and he can't even retract his own head from his ass long enough to put his own shit to the side for a second and say 'you know what, don't destroy it, we don't have a lot of money and it means something to you' or fuck it (this is still fucked up and emotionally manipulative tho) take her willingness to destroy it as proof of her caring. and i'm not even gonna go into everything being Laurel's fault, that's absolutely bullcrap. They're all adults, is laurel being shady as fuck right now? Yeah, she is, but she's not the one who murdered her boyfriend and started this all, and she's also not the one hiding secret cameras in women's apartments to spy on them. So at least she's not a total creep, i guess. Unlike somebody. He's a goddamn self-centered creep who cannot possibly fathom the world not revolving around him. Him reacting annoyed and upset WAS valid, sure, right up until the point he told everybody WHY he was upset and invalidated, that's when we found out he was full of crap.Peoples emotions can make sense and still mean they're full of crap. I totally buy that this would all, in Asher's head, be all about his own feelings. You seem to think that to disdain him, i must misunderstand his emotional reaction to this. No. I disdain him actively because I do understand him and find him utterly worthy of scorn because of it. He's not learnt anything at all. He's still the priviledged, annoying straight white guy from the pilot at heart, this just showed it fully. (and for the record, the only character on this show i properly actually like is Annalise, do don't @ me with favoritism, they all annoy the crap out of me a lot of the time, but asher just takes the cake tbh)

[neutralvlddiscourse]

In defense of Sheith: Power imbalance, brother figure, truth about media influences

Power imbalance is an argument used by Klantis against Sheith. It states that Shiro is 7 years Keith’s senior and his mentor, which warrants it an unhealthy ship. The argument is perfectly logical, but it remains abstract in nature. I will be using the argument in an abstract manner against Klance first, then I will be addressing the theory’s application in reality.

Power imbalance as a argument falls to invalidate Sheith as it will also invalidate Klance. Power imbalance is found in all relations, from friendships to relationships and familial relations. There are also instances of power imbalance in Klance, for example, Keith is known to be a superior pilot compared to Lance, while Lance is known as the sharpshooter of the team. Keith is held in higher regards for his piloting skills, which causes Lance to express some of his jealousy and bitterness through his verbal skills. Keith almost never defend himself against Lance when Lance makes fun of him because 1. Keith can’t be bothered/sees the truth in the abuse that Lance had hurls at him and thus doesn’t fight back (his character studies/metas often cite his insecurities as the reason, so essentially, Lance is poking fun at Keith’s insecurities eg calling him a dropout) 2. Lance often passes off his insults on Keith as a joke and thus other characters (including the audience) believes that it is simply a banter between characters and does not think twice of such incidents. It may seemed like a joke but they stays on Keith’s mind. eg his vlog talking about how he couldnt connect with people

The underlying power imbalance is due to Lance’s wit and the fact that he is pro-social. He knows the Vol-tron cheer because he hangs out with other people (it is a group cheer so one is only introduced to it in a group) while Keith doesn’t and thus he doesn’t know the cheer. Keith’s cluelessness is stemmed from his ignorance of cheering, a people-activity that he had unlikely been a part of, so Lance is more priviledged in that aspect. Keith’s ignorance of said cheer was also the joke in that scene, and Lance had mocked him with “we will work on it” like Keith is an idiot and that he was supposed to know what Lance was talking about. It was a scene where the audience laughed at Keith, and since Keith doesn’t understand what’s going on, he is not laughing along, and that’s a code red when it comes to jokes. One can joke at another’s expense if it is consensual and that everyone is having a good time. Furthermore, it is an issue that Keith brings up probably months after that incident and blamed it on the fact that HE couldn’t connect with people, not because people didn’t bother explaining/teaching him how to better socialise. Lance’s superior wit and social skills had been used against Keith in this simple scene.

(before yall lance stans get on my ass ill let you know that i love lance, but what he did wasnt very nice. yes it is just a kids show, but sheith is being held to a high pedastal while lance isnt. it is just hypocritical to dismiss this incident as a case of abuse due to power imbalance just because you love lance.)

Now onto addressing Shiro’s mentor status and his brotherly role. First of, I believe that it is not the best idea for one to date their mentor/brother figure as it is a breeding ground for grooming, however love also means trusting that said grooming doesn’t happen, love also means to not groom. A simple example, your parents are far wiser than you, older than you, richer than you etc but they don’t use it to groom you (unless they are abusive). People are not passive objects that let theories unfold on them, we make choices to not hurt others. An abled body person has certain priviledges over a physically-disabled person so that does mean that they aren’t allow to fall in love and get married? That is ableist and condescending towards people who are less priviledged.

From a more psychoanalytical POV, dating a brother figure is considered to be rather perverse, but we must be reminded that modern psychology is built on extremely Western values/culture. In Northeast Asian culture, it is perfectly normal and romanticised for a 3rd year high school male student to want to date a 1st year high school female student and vice versa. In my schooling experience, some pre-teens and teenagers have formed pacts where they address each other as a brother/sister and care for each other as such. Some of them also ended up dating their ‘older brother’. This clique behaviour is paralleled in Western alternative culture where wolf-kins form their community and goes around doing stereotypically wolf stuff and treat each other like brother/sister in their pacts. This pattern is believed to aid in teens’ identity-formation and thus normal in puberty, where teens try to find themselves outside of their home/family which could include forming familial ties with other non-family peers. Given Keith’s age, this could explain why he said that Shiro is like a brother to him, it is basic teenage psychology and if you don’t know bat shit about it and assume that Keith thinks of Shiro as a literal brother, then you’d be pretty dense. He could have been just expressing a hyberbole to get his intense feeling across during an occasion where someone he loves is literally leaving him, he’d express his deepest feelings for Shiro to stay.

In Western vocabulary of sexuality, it is often commented upon men that they’re ‘a daddy’, or ‘an uncle’, or ‘a bear’. (okay granted uncle would have been more in niche communities and you might not have heard it before but im just trying to make a point here) It doesn’t mean that someone literally wants to fuck their dad or a bear, but rather the person they’re describing bear attributes to maybe a dad or a bear. One may argue that ‘oh you’re fetishizing bears/fathers’ and no, they’re not, they’re fetishizing a trait associated. I am an Asian woman so I know fetishization and its impact better than most of yall Klantis. I know fully and well the impacts of fetishization but fetishizing bears/fathers have no social cost. (also data on klanti’s overwhelming white demographic: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeNLlB64PD9k0bxG1bw3Crq5DE_VQhY_on_orWtuGIogN9gAQ/viewanalytics)

In Northeast Asian vocabulary of sexuality, ‘father’ and ‘bear’ are unheard of, but ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ are. (Feel free to correct me, I got my sources from reality TV shows/dramas lmao media shapes sexuality so it is valid evidence) Nobody wants to fuck their siblings, in fact, they think that it is really gross. It is like watching those sister-centric anime and be like “oh shes hot” but when they think about their actual sister they’d be like “lmao ew wtf my sister is gross af” and they will start listing at least 100 things about their sisters that they hate. Again, people are not passive objects that just swallow whatever media tells them. In fact, media can be used to deter such perversions. Eg if you are a child and you’re watching some serial killing movie, you parents would frown upon and condemn it. This is socialisation, where one sees something and then process other’s reactions to it to cement their beliefs. If you see pedophilia on TV and everyone around you are like eww wtf, you’re most likely to follow it as we are social creatures.

This is why I am fuckin pissed when Klantis attack Asian artists. We have different values/different take on sexuality. Just because modern psychology (with Western roots) says that it is perverse to date a familial-figure doesn’t mean that it is universal. (Therefore I argue that psychology is not an empirical science and the argument that Western Klantis propose are not to be applied to Asian Sheith shippers.) PLEASE LEAVE ASIAN ARTISTS ALONE. Stop forcing your values down our throat under the pretension of ‘progressiveness’. It is fucking insulting, condescending and racist. You have already colonised China, is it not enough? Do you have to force our beliefs to be aligned with yours, whilst disregarding our cultures? Are you seeking to colonise our minds? 

(If you still don’t understand why I am outraged, just read Freud and how psychology came to be, please, stop being so ignorant and harasse people for it. I will be addressing Klanti’s arguments from a sociological POV in my next post)

note: part 2 is justifying power imbalance since i kinda digressed on western vs neasian shippers out of anger 

[mondeskinder]

The Choice - A Min Yoongi Fanfiction

Chapter 5

PD-nim: ‘I want you in my office in 5’ - 6:24 p.m.

A worried frown formed on my face as my gaze let go of the bright phone screen, wandering upwars to meet a pair of warm, chocolate brown eyes that widened when recognizing my unusually serious expression. “What’s going on?”, her voice was just as tense as her body sitting on the cranky stool next to me, a soft hand creating comforting warmth on my knee. “I don’t know, my manager wants me to come to his office..” Her fingers began to dig deeper into my leg. “That’s not neccessarily something bad, right?” The positive words leaving her mouth were spoken in a doubtful manner. “It’ll be okay, don’t worry about it.” I forced a weak smile, reassuringly taking her hand, doing my best to let my outer appearance remain calm as a storm of anxiety built up inside my head, already starting to twirl my helpless thoughts. “I-I think you should go now..” Not understanding the hidden protection behind my harsh request, hurt glistened gloomily in her glance that slowly sank onto the old tiles beneath her white vans. “Okay.” She got up too quickly, let go of my hand too easily; despite my wish to do so I couldn’t tell myself that she didn’t take it personally. A quick “I’ll text you later” was all I got out before the door shut behind her delicate figure. As the sound of falling in it’s lock still echoed through my mind, I buried my shaking hands in my hair, trying to focus on my breathing and somehow keep the panic attack from rising and taking control over my body. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Namjoon had told me counting would be good to fight a panic attack, that it’d help guiding your concentration away from the anxiety. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17- Fuck this, this only makes it worse. Okay, calm down, slow and long breaths. In. And out. In. And out. A hasty look at the white digits on my computer were enought to force me onto my shaky legs and out of the imprisoning mindset. 6:28 p.m. One hand searching support on the rigid white walls while the other was pressed on my forehead, begging to give me back my balance, I stumbled along the hallway in a rush, reaching PD-nim’s office with a still rapidly beating heart but not wasting any thought on breaking down. I was able to hear him talking, but the barrier swallowed his words, only spitting out a dull mush of sounds. Debating on whether I should knock or not, I ultimately decided for the latter, carefully opening the door and peaking into the office. PD-nim noticed my head sticking through the small gap and allowed me to enter with a small nod while continuing his phone call. “Alright then, Mr. Park Jimin, I hope you have a good trip and arrive safely at the dorm tomorrow. The boys will welcome you and explain most of it, for further questions you may call me any time. See you soon. Goodbye.” Ending the conversation, his thumb pressed the button to cut off the connection and let out a sigh as he obvservingly looked at me, who was silently standing in front of the shut door. “There’s another one who’ll most likely join the group.. How many are at the dorm now?” “Six, PD-nim.” “Seven boys.” Another sigh escaped his mouth. “What did I get myself into..” His pondering allowed me to calm down further, getting my shaky hands under control and recover my balance, at least a part of it, so that when he finally told me to sit down I was able to do so in a serious and disciplined manner. “Do you know why I called you here?” Sensing a lecturing speech coming, I lowered my head and voice. “No, PD-nim.” Even though my gaze was fixed on my shoes, I knew he was raising his eyebrows, his pungent eyes piercing through me for seconds that felt like hours before explaining his demand that brought me here. “You’re a producer, right?” “Yes, PD-nim.” “Then why aren’t you producing?” I couldn’t help but look up in surprise, a frown cautiously forming on my forehead. “You’ve been slacking lately, Min Yoongi. I can see that you aren’t working as hard as you used to. What happened? Are you doubtful? Have you grown sick of your dream? Do you want to leave Bangtan?” I surpressed my urge to throw the words and sentences forming in my head at him, held back my anger. How dare you say such a ridiculous thing when knowing how much I gave up on this, when being so aware of the fact that I stood against my whole family for this, that I go days without food or sleep for this, that I would die for this. How dare you, who knows about me and how much I have fought for this. How dare you assume such weakness in me when you know this is my life. “No, PD-nim.” “So explain to me why else both your quality and quantity are decreasing.” I had already opened my mouth to answer but faltered, knowing it would only make it worse if I told him about Y/N, thus I closed it again, remaining silent. “Whatever it is that keeps you from working, you should get rid of it. Both you and I can not use any kind of distraction while seriously preparing for a debut here. You need to pull yourself together, Yoongi.” “Yes, PD-nim. I will work harder.” “Good. I suggest you start now to even out the times you’ve been falling behind. You may leave now.” “Yes, PD-nim.” I quickly stood up, bowing 90° before leaving the constricting air of the office and walking back to my own studio. Letting myself fall in the worn-out chair, placing a few fresh sheets of paper in front of me, reaching for a pencil and manifesting the overwhelming wave of anger, disbelief and despair into words, restlessly spilling my torn thoughts onto the pages. After two messages destroyed my concentration I decided to turn it off without even reading them before endulging myself in the rhymes again. As the sun disappeared, my computer screen began to replace the fading light. The cursor of the mouse rushing between different samples, aligning them, checking their sound, reorganizing them, leaving some out while inserting new ones until the bridges sounded fluent and the track worked as one coherent unity. Finally being satisfied with it’s outcome, I saved the file with eyes burning from the aggressive screenlight as the first light of dawn got reflected by the 5 empty red bull cans that stood in a line on one edge of my desk. A small smile grew on my face. I’d missed this, the completely drowning in music-making, the non-existence of time while doing so, the absence of any priorities other than creating, being free of any other needs than existing, thinking, the silence in my head after everything had been poured out of it. I had already turned off my computer so, not having the priviledge of possessing a watch, I decided turn on my phone again, only to be hit with 7 unread messages and 4 missed calls.

Y/N: ‘Yoongi~’ - 8:13 p.m.

‘How did your talk with the manager go?’ - 8:14 p.m.

'Yoongi?’ - 9:37 p.m.

'Did something happen?’ - 10:09 p.m.

'Are you okay?’ - 11:41 p.m.

'I’m really worried right now..’ - 12:25 a.m.

'Yoongi please message me as soon as you get these.’ - 02:01 a.m.

Letting out an annoyed sigh, my fingers hastily typed a short answer before leaving the building to show my new compositions to Joon and the rest of the guys.

Yoongi: 'I can’t talk right now.’ - 5:49 a.m.

CONTINUE READING..