#kakairu valentine's week 2023

[rocketpunchhh]

for Kakairu Valentines Week hosted by @kakairu-rocks

Day 6: Pick Up Lines

@mandapandabug20 made A LIST with (fantastic) horrible pick up lines Kakashi would use on Iruka and this orphan one was so bad (aka brilliant) it spoke to my heart

[dilly-oh]

Firsts

“Oh shit, Hatake, on your six,” Genma hisses in Kakashi’s ear, who has to smother the urge to snap the other man’s neck at the sudden intrusion of his personal space. “Check out the new cutie at the mission desk.”

Okay, maybe he can forgive him.

Kakashi glances over and lets out an unimpressed grunt. Sure, the guy’s got a nice face, but he’s a little mousy-looking with that scruffy ponytail and array of pens in his pocket. A new Chunin, obvious from the freshly-pressed flak jacket and lack of PTSD. Nice complexion, decent body. Scar’s a little sexy. Guy’s a solid B. Nothing to scream about.

“I’m gonna ask him out,” Genma says with grim determination. “Cover me.”

“Naw, you got this, champ,” Kakashi says, shoving their mission report into Genma’s hand and slithering out of the room. He’d rather not see Genma perform his mating ritual or whatever is the equivalent of making an ass of himself before the gawky Chunin stammers out a polite ‘no, thank you, Mr. Jounin, sir’.

Which is why he’s utterly flabbergasted when Genma goes sailing by overhead as he’s walking out the building. He looks up in bafflement to see the Chunin decisively slamming the second-story window shut and locking it for good measure.

“I think I’m in love,” Genma croaks from the dumpster.

Kakashi thinks he might be a little bit, too.

---

Kakashi has a mission report to turn in and no friends around to pawn it off on. If he waits one more day it’ll go from being fashionably late to downright obnoxious. And when he pokes his head into the Mission Office of course the Chunin is there on duty, straightening the line with nothing but a sharp glance and incurring silence with a single frown. Word had gotten around about Genma’s fate, as well as the fate of several unfortunate Jounin who’d tried to retaliate and instead found themselves also ‘dumpstered’, as the term had been coined. Now everyone knew not to cross him.

Resigned to his fate, Kakashi joins the line.

When it’s finally his turn, he takes a deep breath, drops the scroll on the desk, and spins on his heel to leave.

“Wait.”

Kakashi’s feet are rooted in place. His eyes snap to the window. How far away is the dumpster again? If he can get the trajectory right, he can use his own momentum to land on his feet and avoid-

“Hatake, right?” The Chunin glances up at him, smiles a little. “I haven’t had a chance to introduce myself to you yet. I’m Umino Iruka. Pleased to meet you.” He extends a hand. Kakashi stares at it like a hissing viper. Is this some kind of new move? Maybe he’ll snap Kakashi’s arm before tossing him out the window. Break a finger or two. “Oh, come on, I don’t bite.” Iruka laughs, a warm, bubbling sound. Against his better judgment (and years of ninja training), Kakashi slowly reaches out and shakes the other man’s hand. It’s just as warm as his laugh, calloused and strong. Kakashi’s gaze travels up the toned arm, past surprisingly broad shoulders to meet a pair of mischievous brown eyes. “Pleasure.” Iruka flashes him a devious smirk and winks.

Kakashi can kinda see what Genma was talking about.

And then Iruka looks down at the scroll and scowls.

“Is this your handwriting or did a chicken walk all over your paper? …And then shit on it?”

On second thought, fuck Genma.

---

Kakashi freezes in the tree outside Naruto’s place. A second chakra signature is inside the run-down apartment, oddly familiar. Kakashi peeks around the window, his suspicions confirmed: Iruka is inside, bustling around the small kitchen with Naruto in tow. He’s cooking for him. More than that, he’s actually attempting to teach Naruto how to do it.

The most Kakashi’s ever done is bring over some packets of instant Ramen and a couple fresh vegetables. Maybe put down a little newspaper and spray some Febreeze. That sort of shit. Nothing this…domestic. He’s a ninja, for god’s sake, not a nanny.

He sits outside in the tree, watching, for a long time.

---

“You know you could join us, next time,” Iruka says when Kakashi stops in to pick up his newest assignment from the mission desk. He stares back at him blankly, hand still outstretched. “For dinner,” Iruka clarifies after the silence becomes so painfully awkward Kakashi almost wishes a Missing-Nin would jump out of the garbage can and kill him. “Naruto would enjoy it. What’s your favorite meal?”

“…Miso soup,” he finally says, taking the scroll. “With eggplant.” Iruka nods and gives him that damn smirk again.

“Sounds like a date.”

Kakashi absolutely does not trip a little as he turns to leave.

---

The dinner (singular) turns into dinners (plural), with and without Naruto. Which is fine, seeing as Iruka is a font of amusing stories involving his rambunctious students, whose exploits are so absurdly idiotic that Kakashi is seriously concerned for the village’s next generation of ninja. Then again, he’s met Naruto, so he shouldn’t really be surprised.

They settle into a familiar rhythm, the two of them enjoying food or drinks a few nights a week, filled with stories, laughter, and a little harmless flirting. Nothing more.

Kakashi tells himself he’s content with this. It would be selfish to ask for more, especially when he has nothing to give in return. This is enough. He repeats that, again and again, until he almost believes it.

Until Iruka’s pulling him into a searing kiss.

Until he’s dragging him inside his apartment.

Until he’s holding him in his arms.

And then just like that, Kakashi’s perspective of Iruka has gone from safe and friendly to something terrifyingly close to love.

So Kakashi does what he always does when faced with feelings.

He avoids it like the fucking plague.

---

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Iruka stands in the doorway of Kakashi’s hospital room, glaring so furiously he can feel the heat even through the haze of painkillers. “You ghost me for a fucking MONTH and then have the gall to ask me to bring you fucking ICHA-ICHA while you’re on your fucking deathbed?!”

“…Gai’s out on a mission,” Kakashi rasps, his throat still sore from the feeding tube.

The resulting silence is filled with such murderous intent an ANBU pokes his head in the door to make sure everything is alright, spots Iruka, and gets the fuck out of there.

“You…” Iruka swells up, like he’s about to literally explode, angry words choking in his throat.

And then his face goes carefully blank. That scares Kakashi more than anything. Anger, he can deal with. It’s a familiar enemy, one he can beat. This cold resignation isn’t something he knows how to fight. Or at least recover from.

Without a word, Iruka drops the books on a chair and calmly walks out of the room.

Kakashi really can’t blame him.

He’d dump himself, too.

---

Months go by, and Kakashi heals. Physically, at least. He sees Iruka at the mission desk, but there’s no smiles or winks for him now, just a stiff “thank you, Jounin” before moving on to the next. He’d almost rather be dumpstered. He takes more missions, longer ones, just to get away, to try to forget. He’s had breakups before, but none of them ever hurt this bad. It almost feels like someone is stabbing him the chest, sliding a knife right between his ribs- no, wait, that’s the Missing-Nin who is doing literally that. Kakashi curses, rips them apart with a Chidori, and blacks out.

He wakes up to find Iruka sitting in the chair beside his hospital bed, Icha-Icha open on his lap.

“I wasn’t reading this,” Iruka says quickly. “I was reading it…to you. It doesn’t count.”

“…Did I miss any of the good bits?” Kakashi asks, his voice weak and scratchy.

“Kind of hard to when there aren’t any,” Iruka snorts back.

The silence that follows is punctuated by the beep of Kakashi’s machines and the drip of his IV.

“I miss you,” Iruka says quietly. It hurts more than getting stabbed, and that hurt like a bitch.

“…I miss you, too,” Kakashi replies, even softer. Iruka looks at him, and the anger is still there, but it’s anger FOR him, not AT him, which isn’t something he’s ever experienced before.

“Why did you run away? What could possibly make you attempt to go off and get yourself killed? What the fuck are you afraid of?”

“…You,” Kakashi says simply. Iruka blinks, gaping at him in disbelief.

“Of…what? Me? Why? Because you love me or something?”

“Yes,” Kakashi replies, because it’s true, and because he does.

“Oh my God, Kakashi…” Iruka heaves a weary sigh, covering his face with his hands, which is a shame, because Kakashi hasn’t seen it in a while. “Could you at least…act like a fucking grown man and talk to me? Instead of just avoiding the issue? Maybe, I don’t know, voice your concerns so I can help you through them? You might not realize this, but I care about you, asshole.” Iruka lowers his hands to glare at him, and there’s tears shining in the corners of his eyes. “Did you ever stop to consider that I might actually feel the same?”

He hadn’t, honestly. He’d been too busy running.

“…Do you?” he asks, voice shaking a little. Iruka gives him the most insultingly condescending look.

“Of course I fucking do.”

Kakashi has to force himself to stay calm, otherwise his heart monitor will go haywire and a nurse will come rushing in and fuck everything up.

“So…” Iruka goes on, “if you want this…if you want me…I need to know. None of your self-destructive bullshit. No running away. Just answer. Yes…or no.”

Kakashi swallows, his throat painfully dry. His chest aches, but he can’t tell if it’s from the stab wounds or his own anxiety. The fear is still there, but Iruka is, too.

And that gives him the courage to answer.

“…Yes,” he says in a hushed whisper.

Iruka sits there for a long moment, digesting that, then nods.

“…There room in there for two?” he asks, jerking his chin at the bed.

There isn’t, but damn if Kakashi’s going to say so.

---

“You know you don’t always have to wear that,” Iruka teases, running a hand through Kakashi’s hair.

“Of course I do,” Kakashi says, admiring the gleam off the golden band on his finger. “It’s a first for me.” Iruka snorts beside him on the bed and smacks him in the face with a pillow.

“And your last, dumbass.”

Kakashi wholeheartedly agrees.

-End-

(Written for KakaIru Valentine’s Week 2023, Day 1 Prompt: Firsts, hosted be @kakairu-rocks)

[kakairu-rocks]

Hey guys! We are excited to announce that the masterpost for KakaIru Valentine’s Week 2023 is ready to share!

But before we show you the list, we want to thank everyone who participated in the event. All your creations were amazing, and we were excited to see each and every one of them! 

Here are this year’s stats:

Total number of creations: 33

Fics: 21

Art: 12

- Total word count: 99 939 words

- There were four comics created, and six fics written in a different language!

- Most inspiring prompt: Pick Up Lines 

- Least inspiring prompts: Icha-Icha, Fake Relationship, Romance For Dummies

Once again, thank you all so much for contributing, and helping keep the kakairu love alive!

And now, here is the list of wonderful creations! Please indulge to your heart’s content!

DAY 1 - 8TH FEB

RED STRING OF FATE

1. Lovely art by @animetrashmuffin​

2. Sweet art by @virtualcarrot​

3. Red String of Fate, an angsty fic by @hairybeardtongue

Rating: Teen, CW: mentions of blood & injuries, Word count: 965

4. As luvas que escondem, o inevitável, a wonderful fic written in Portuguese by @bansheeangel​

Rating: Gen, CW: None, Word count: 10k

--

FIRSTS

1. Rescue, an exciting fic by @kakairu-shrine​

Rating: Mature, CW: Graphic depictions of violence, Word count: 9.3k

2. Firsts, a wonderful fic by @dilly-oh​

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 1.7k

-----

DAY 2 - 9TH FEB

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS

1. Turn, a brilliant fic by @hairybeardtongue

Rating: Teen, CW: referenced loss, grief, and trauma, Word count: 1.4k

2. Antes de saber o que era amor, te amei!, a cute fic written in Portuguese by @bansheeangel​

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word Count: 14.7k

--

MEET THE FAMILY

1. Entertaining comic by @dilly-oh​

2. Chaotic art by @animetrashmuffin​

3. The Uminos, a sweet fic by @kakairu-shrine​

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 8.6k

-----

DAY 3 - 10TH FEB

WEDDINGS

1. Cute art by @animetrashmuffin​

2. Innocent Request, a fic by @hairybeardtongue

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 1.5k

--

KISSING BOOTH

1. The Kissing Booth, a cute fic by @kakairu-shrine​

Rating: teen, CW: None, Word count: 1.2k

2. Barraca do Beijo Doce, a lovely fic written in Portuguese by @bansheeangel​

Rating: Explicit, CW: None, Word count: 6.3k

-----

DAY 4 - 11TH FEB

SPEED DATING

1. Amazing comic by @animetrashmuffin​

2. Hilarious art by @dilly-oh​

3. Speed Dating, a wonderful fic written in Portuguese by @bansheeangel​

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 6k

--

ICHA-ICHA

1. Icha-Icha, a cute fic by @kakairu-shrine​

Rating: Mature, CW: None, Word count: 2.1k

-----

DAY 5 - 12TH FEB

TRUE LOVE

1. Sweet art by @animetrashmuffin​

2. As marcas do nosso amor, a lovely fic written in Portuguese by @bansheeangel​

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 3.1k

--

FAKE RELATIONSHIP

1. Boyfriends, a hot fic by @kakairu-shrine​

Rating: Explicit, CW: None, Word count: 8.2k

-----

DAY 6 - 13TH FEB

PICK UP LINES

1. Cute art by @animetrashmuffin​

2. Amusing comic by @rocketpunchhh​

3. Pick Up Lines, an amazing fic by @dilly-oh​

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 1.1k

4. Bar Fly, a great fic by @hairybeardtongue

Rating: Explicit, CW: None, Word count: 1.1k

5. Guia de conquista, por Kakashi Hatake, a lovely fic written in Portuguese by @bansheeangel​

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 3.9k

--

#RELATIONSHIPGOALS

1. #Relationship Goals, a wonderful fic by @dilly-oh​

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 1.1k

2. Nothing, an angsty fic by @hairybeardtongue

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 1k

-----

DAY 7 - 14TH FEB

ROMANCE FOR DUMMIES

1. Amazing art by @animetrashmuffin​

--

VALENTINE’S DAY

1. Hilarious comic by @dilly-oh​

2. It’s Valentine’s Day?!, a cute fic by @kakairu-shrine​

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 3.6k

--

MULTIPLE PROMPTS

1. KakaIru Valentine’s Week 2023, a wonderful fic by @hkandiu​

Rating: Teen, CW: None, Word count: 12.1k

If we have missed you, or made a mistake somewhere, please let us know ASAP so we can fix the problem!!!

Thank you to everyone who participated, and to everyone who has supported us! Without you, we wouldn’t have been able to run Valentine’s Week, so we really appreciate your involvement 🥰

If you still need more KakaIru after this, come and check out the Kakairu Rocks forum, where we have plenty more for you to see & do!

We hope to see you around!

[kakairu-shrine]

New Fic: The Uminos

This was written for the Meet The Family prompt for @kakairu-rocks event, KakaIru Valentine's Week 2023!

Enjoy!

The Uminos (8628 words) by demonofabove

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Naruto

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka

Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Umino Iruka, Umino Kohari, Umino Ikkaku

Additional Tags: KakaIru Valentine's Week 2023, Meet the Family, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Soulmates, Domestic, Fluff, Angst, Grief/Mourning, soft, Sweet, Kid Fic, Childhood Friends

Summary:

Kakashi misses his dad terribly, and feels like he's alone in the world.

Then the Uminos come along and turn things around.

[animetrashmuffin]

Kakairu Valentine's Week 2023 Day 4: Speed dating Family

Hosted by @kakairu-rocks!

[virtualcarrot]

For the prompt “Red String of Fate” @kakairu-rocks

[narutoevents]

2024 EVENTS!

Open Interest Checks

Neji Week 2024

Naruto Rare Pair Week 2024

List of Character Birthdays

Monthly Events

Multifandom - Year of the OTP

December 2023

NaruHina Month - All Dec

Naruto Vacation Week - Dec 26th - Jan 2nd

Akatsuki Gift Exchange - Gifts Post Dec 11th - Jan 22nd

Gai Birthday Bash - Dec 30th - Jan 7th

2024

January 2024

Naruto Vacation Week - Dec 26th - Jan 2nd

Akatsuki Gift Exchange - Gifts Post Dec 11th - Jan 22nd

Gai Birthday Bash - Dec 30th - Jan 7th

TobiIzu Week - Jan 1st - 7th

ButsuTaji Week - Jan 9th - 16th

Gaara Week - Jan 12th - 19th

ShikaNeji Week 2024 - Jan 15th - 21st

KakaSaku Dead Dove Week - Jan 22nd - 28th

Aburame Shino Week - Jan 22nd - 26th

February 2024

Izuna Week - Feb 4th - 10th

KakaIru Valentines - Feb 8th - 14th

KakaGai Valentines - Feb 12th - 18th

SasoSaku Valentines - Feb 13th - 15th

Ame Birthday Bash - Feb 14th - 20th

SasoDei Week - Feb 22nd - 28th

March 2024

TBA

April 2024

KakaIta Week - Apr 22nd - 28th

May 2024

TBA

June 2024

SasuKarin Month - all June

============================

Potential Events????

Aburame Week 2024

ABOUT | GUIDELINES | FAQS

2023

[oneinist]

Pinned welcome post 📌

Hello, hello 💚💚💚 Welcome to the chaos that is my main 🙃 Time for a new pinned post.

I'm oneinist (they/them, non-binary), and you can find me on Discord, Ao3, Pixiv and Twitter under the same ID (mostly viewing on the latter two). Come say hi if you like~

I love Naruto. I am forever going to die-hard-ship KakaIru, I love the two on their own as well - and from time to time I branch out into multi-shipping 👀

On this main, I reblog, interact, and play ask games (LOVE THEM!!) on a multitude of topics but ofc Naruto, KKIR, fandom and fannish stuff take up the majority.

Asks are OPEN - nothing is too silly and here is some inspiration.

From 2023 you can find all my art and stories over at my side blog, oneinist's works (I just love that grid view...) where requests are open too, please just check out the pinned post first 😘. I love to collect resources and I try to tag them so I can go back, why not look through them below?

Art resources Writing resources

I'm also a mod over at the Kakairu.Rocks forum where we are currently running the Kakairu Advent Calendar Battle 2023 and soon enough it will be time for Kakairu Valentines Week 2024. I'm also part of a collective of kkir mods who have run the Kakairu Reverse Bang 2022 and we are potentially running another event in 2024 👀

Come check us out and spread the KakaIru looove~~~

[bansheeangel]

Começando evento mais romântico do ano, o KakaIru Valentine's Week 2023, realizado pelo @kakairu-rocks

Spirit:

spiritfanfiction.com/historia/as-lu…

Wattpad:

wattpad.com/myworks/333995…

AO3:

archiveofourown.org/works/44878027…

[hkandiu]

For @kakairu-rocks and their Valentine's week event, a chapter a day for one or more prompts!

[kalira]

Fandom Year in Review (2022)

It’s the very last day of 2022, and that means it’s time for a little look back at my fandom year in writing (and podficcing, events, etc.) once again! Then I’ll get back to writing before midnight, along with setting some goals and plans for 2023, of course. ;)

I posted 163 new stories to AO3 this year!

(Startlingly, as I had entirely forgotten, I also posted exactly 163 new stories to AO3 in 2021! o.o)

Those 163 stories were for 17 fandoms, 3 of them new for me to be posting for, and 50 ships! (18 of those ships were new.)

I posted a total of 377,979 words to AO3 this year!

I participated in 8 fandom events, with a total of 73 stories! Those events include:

Iruka Winter Bingo 2021-2022 (server event, @the-umino-hours) the Three Sentence Ficathon, over on Dreamwidth (moving to its own community for next year!) @harunosakuraweek @domaystic @badthingshappenbingo, which I will continue working on my board for @kakashiweek @whumptober, for which I wrote only minifics this year NejiHina Week (run by @nejihinata)

(And I don’t count my personal project the Valentine’s Spectacular in this list.)

I also ran 3 events - @harunosakuraweek in its second year and @kakashiweek in its third, as well as the second year of Iruka Winter Bingo!

~

In those new stories I added 5 new minific collections:

Labyrinth - gen Labyrinth - Jareth/Sarah Labyrinth - Jareth/Toby Naruto - KakaShisui Tiger & Bunny - Keith/Agnes

247 minifics posted this year, to my now 22 collections of sme, account for 67,807 words of my total.

Minific breakdown:

Avatar: the Last Airbender~ ❧Zuko/Sokka ~ 2 minifics

Castlevania~ ❧9 minifics

Kamisama Kiss~ ❧33 minifics

Labyrinth~ ❧gen ~ 18 minifics ❧Jareth/Sarah ~ 7 minifics ❧Jareth/Toby ~ 2 minifics

Naruto~ ❧HashiIzu ~ 9 minifics ❧HashiMito ~ 1 minific ❧HashiMitoIzu ~ 3 minifics ❧KakaIru ~ 1 minific ❧KakaSaku ~ 17 minifics ❧KakaShisui ~ 26 minifics ❧MadaTobi ~ 60 minifics ❧SakuOro ~ 36 minifics

SK8~ ❧MatchaBlossom ~ 6 minifics

Tiger & Bunny~ ❧Keith/Agnes ~ 17 minifics

~

I posted 3 new podfics this year, totalling 26.5 minutes!

(I was unable to podfic - recording or editing - for most of the year, and still am; hopefully that will be resolved soon. . .)

All 3 were my own work.

Podfic fandom & ship breakdown:

Kagen no Tsuki ❧Adam/Mizuki ~ 1

Naruto ❧gen ~ 1 ❧NejiHina ~ 1

~

Fandom & Ship Breakdown:

Castlevania ~ 1 story ❧Alucard/Trevor ~ 1 story

CATS ~ 1 story ❧Tugger/Misto ~ 1 story

Hikaru no Go ~ 1 story ❧gen ~ 1 story

Inu-Yasha ~ 1 story ❧Sesshoumaru/Kagome ~ 1 story

Labyrinth ~ 3 stories ❧gen ~ 1 story ❧Jareth/Sarah ~ 1 story ❧Jareth/Toby ~ 1 story

Marginal Prince ~ 2 stories ❧Angel/Mikhail ~ 1 story ❧Joshua/Yuuta ~ 1 story

MCU ~ 1 story ❧Thor/Loki ~ 1 story

Moon Child ~ 8 stories ❧gen ~ 7 stories ❧Kei/Sho ~ 1 story

Naruto ~ 75 stories ❧gen ~ 15 stories ❧Gai/Iruka ~ 5 stories ❧Haruya (OC)/Iruka ~ 1 story ❧Hashirama/Mito ~ 1 story ❧Hashirama/Izuna ~ 1 story ❧Ino/Sakura ~ 1 story ❧Jiraiya/Orochimaru/Tsunade (Sannin OT3) ~ 1 story ❧Kakashi/Gai ~ 2 stories ❧Kakashi/Iruka ~ 5 stories ❧Kakashi/Naruto ~ 1 story ❧Kakashi/Naruto/Sakura ~ 11 stories ❧Kakashi/Sakura ~ 1 story ❧Kakashi/Shikamaru ~ 1 story ❧Kakashi/Shisui ~ 7 stories ❧Kakashi/Tenzou ~ 2 stories ❧Kisame/Sakura ~ 1 story ❧Madara/Tobirama ~ 3 stories ❧Neji/Hinata ~ 6 stories ❧Rock Lee/Sakura ~ 3 stories ❧Sakumo/Orochimaru ~ 2 stories ❧Sasuke/Naruto/Sakura (Team 7 OT3) ~ 2 stories ❧Tobirama/Iruka ~ 3 stories

Promare ~ 1 story ❧Galo/Lio ~ 1 story

Sex Pistols ~ 32 stories ❧gen ~ 1 story ❧David/Maximillian ~ 1 story ❧Hidekuni/Noririn ~ 3 stories ❧Kunimasa/Manami ~ 1 story ❧Kunimasa/Manami/Noririn ~ 3 stories ❧Kunimasa/Noririn ~ 3 stories ❧Shinobu/Hidekuni ~ 4 stories ❧Yonekuni/Shiro ~ 19 stories

SK8 ~ 3 stories ❧Adam/Langa ~ 1 story ❧Joe/Cherry ~ 2 stories

Sky High ~ 2 stories ❧Warren/Will ~ 2 stories

Tiger & Bunny ~ 29 stories ❧gen ~ 4 stories ❧Keith/Agnes ~ 15 stories ❧Keith/Agnes/Ryan ~ 4 stories ❧Keith/Ryan ~ 3 stories ❧Kotetsu/Barnaby ~ 3 stories ❧Nathan/Antonio ~ 1 story ❧Ryan/Karina ~ 1 story

Tight-Rope ~ 1 story ❧Ryu/Nao ~ 1 story

Torchwood ~ 1 story ❧Owen/Ianto ~ 1 story

Underworld ~ 1 story ❧Lucian/Sonja ~ 1 story

~

. . .and that’s my look back at my year in fandom (on AO3, at least)! I tried out some new things, fell into some very unexpected new things, rediscovered fondness for some old ones, and had a lot of fun!

Of course I’ve many more things in the works, as always, so keep an eye out - I’ll be back on AO3 next year, and I’m sure as heck not going anywhere!

Happy New Year!

~Kalira

[dilly-oh]

Pick-Up Lines

“Oh my GOD, how long does it take two grown men to pee?” Iruka groans to himself, balancing precariously on a rickety stool at the bar as he waits for Kotetsu and Izumo to return from their bathroom break. He sets down his soda (he’d been saddled with the role of designated driver) and glances over at the restroom in annoyance. “They’d better not be making out in there-”

“Excuse me,” someone says from behind. 

Iruka blinks, then turns and opens his mouth, readying his most ‘fuck off’ tone of voice for whoever dares disturb him.

���Whoever’ turns out to be a stupidly hot guy with a shock of silver hair, stormy gray eyes, and the sexiest mole he’s ever seen perched on the corner of an even sexier mouth. Iruka instantly wants to bite it off.  

“…Yessss?” he manages, the tone of voice coming out more of a ‘fuck me’ with a little hint of ‘please’. 

“Sorry, can you help me out?” the guy asks, looking worried. “I dropped my phone and now I think it’s broken. Could you try calling to see if it works?”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” Iruka takes out his phone. “What’s your number?” The man rattles it off and Iruka punches it in distractedly. It rings for a second, then picks up. “Hello?”

“I didn’t mention before, but I dropped my phone when I saw you.” 

Iruka stares at the guy for a full ten seconds, phone to his ear, completely deadpan. The guy gives him a flirty little wink.

“…You did NOT…just set me up like that,” Iruka says slowly, lowering his phone, “for a shitty pick-up line.” 

“That depends,” the guy replies. “Did it work?” 

“Absolutely not.” Iruka refuses to be won over by a cheesy pick-up line. He has standards. Even if the guy is stupid hot. “Seriously, is that the best you’ve got?”

“Oh no, I’ve got plenty more where that came from.” The guy clears his throat. “I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.”

“I use Pandora,” Iruka shoots back. “Try again.”

“Are you a library book? Cuz I’m checking you out.”

“Good God, do you have them all memorized?” Iruka is equal parts impressed and horrified. “How many do you have?”

“Oh, hundreds,” the guy answers, then barrels on. “Are you a parking ticket? Cuz you got ‘fine’ written all over you.”

“Heard that one before,” Iruka says, taking a sip of his drink.

“I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring your own snack.”

Iruka snorts into his Pepsi. The guy grins and tries again.

“Are you a loan? Because you have my interest.” 

“I have student loan debt. Triggered.” 

“If you were a Transformer, you’d be “Optimus Fine”.”

“Hmm, docking points for the repeated usage of the word ‘fine’, get a thesaurus,” Iruka quips.

“Then it won’t make any sense,” the guy argues. 

“They’re pick-up lines, they’re not supposed to make sense. They’re supposed to be dumb and silly and not work.” Except they kinda are but Iruka is damn well not going to admit it. “Come on, let’s hear another. Make it religious.”

“Okay, sure.” The man gives him a deep, soulful look. “I’d say ‘God bless’…you but it looks like he already did.”

Iruka laughs at that one. 

“If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as hot as you, I’d still only have five cents.”

Iruka laughs harder. 

“Are you a cell-phone plan? Cuz I’d like to discuss your full coverage options.” 

Iruka almost falls off his stool. 

“Enough!” he wheezes, catching himself on the bar. “Alright, you got me. Those were some good ones. I’m impressed.” He gives the guy a thorough once-over from head-to-toe. “What’s you name, Mr. Pick-up Artist?”

“Kakashi,” the guy replies, shooting finger guns, “but you can call me… darling.” 

“Aaaand you lost it.” Iruka spins around on his stool.

“No shit wait-”

“I’m kidding.” Iruka turns back around with a scoff. “But seriously, if you ever do finger guns again, we’re over.”

Kakashi slowly holsters the guns, completely straight-faced. Iruka struggles not to laugh again.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Kakashi asks, leaning an elbow on the bar and giving Iruka a grin that sends a shiver down his spine. 

“No, sorry,” he says with genuine regret, fighting back the heat in his cheeks. “I’m the designated driver tonight. I’m here with-”

“Oh my God, emergency,” Izumo suddenly stumbles over into the bar stools, almost knocking Iruka off his perch. “We were making out in the bathroom and then Kotetsu got sick and threw up in the toilet. And the sink. And the floor.” He pauses. “And me. And then I threw up a little. It’s a MESS in there. Anyway we gotta go-” 

“…Why am I friends with you two,” Iruka whispers, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stave off his approaching headache.

“…Because then we can split the rent?” Izumo says after a beat. Iruka sighs.

“…Alright you got me there. Let’s go.” He gets to his feet, then hesitates, glancing uncertainly at Kakashi. 

“It’s alright.” Kakashi nods in understanding. “Bros before hoes.”

“…You do understand that you’re the ho in this situation-”

“Before you go,” Kakashi cuts in, “do you have a name, or can I call you… mine?” 

“Dude, marry this guy,” Izumo whispers in Iruka’s ear. 

“Get OFF.” He shoves him away. “It’s Iruka,” he tells Kakashi, “and the only reason I’m letting you get away with the cheesy pick-up lines is because you’re cute.” 

“Oh no, are you gonna hold me in contempt?” Kakashi coos eagerly.

“ENOUGH.” Iruka turns to Izumo, who’s nervously scanning the bar like a bouncer’s about to leap from the shadows. “Where’s Kotetsu?”

“I stashed him in the car. Hopefully he doesn’t puke in it. I think he was about empty.”

“He’d better be, or he’s crawling home.” Iruka gives Kakashi a final lingering look. “Well, you already have my number. Text me later, okay?” Kakashi moves to do finger guns again, freezes, then awkwardly turns it into double thumbs-up. Iruka snickers one last time, then follows Izumo out the door. 

---

After he finally gets home and hauls his friends up the stairs and into their respective room, he checks his phone and is greeted with a text. 

I seem to have lost my number. Thanks for letting me have yours.

Iruka rolls his eyes, but can’t resist a parting shot. 

Let’s get coffee tomorrow. I like you a latte. 

-End-

(Written for Kakairu Valentine’s Week 2023, Day 6 Prompt: Pick Up Lines, hosted by @kakairu-rocks)

[kakairu-rocks]

Hey guys! We are excited to announce KakaIru Valentine’s Week 2023!

This is an open event run from Wednesday 8th February to Tuesday 14th February, dedicated to the love of our favourite ship!

We accept all kinds of content, including fics, art, music, moodboards, and any other creation you can think of, as long as it is KakaIru!

Prompts:

Day 1 (8th Feb): Red String Of Fate/ Firsts

Day 2 (9th Feb): Childhood Friends/ Meet The Family

Day 3 (10th Feb): Weddings/ Kissing Booth

Day 4 (11th Feb): Speed Dating/ Icha-Icha

Day 5 (12th Feb): True Love/ Fake Relationship

Day 6 (13th Feb): Pick Up Lines/ #RelationshipGoals

Day 7 (14th Feb): Romance For Dummies/ Valentine’s Day

Rules:

All content must be created for this event – old/ recycled work will not be allowed.

This is a KakaIru event, so all works must be endgame KakaIru.

Triggering, sensitive & NSFW content must be tagged appropriately.

Guidelines:

You don’t have to create something for every day, but we most certainly encourage it; and you’re quite welcome to create multiple things for a single prompt!

For each day, you can create for only one prompt, do both prompts, or even combine them!

There are no minimum requirements for creations - all effort counts!

Creations will be accepted in any language!

We would prefer it if you posted on the correct day, but late entries will be accepted until 28th Feb!

Where to post:

Add your work to the Kakairu Rocks forum! Most work will be able to go in our Fanworks category, but please take a look at our posting guidelines to see if it will need to go to the Lemon Bar, instead.

We have an AO3 collection you can post to; and we would like you to use the tag KakaIru Valentine’s Week 2023.

Tag us here on Tumblr with the prompt your work is for. Please consider using the tags kakairu valentine’s week 2023, and kakairu.rocks

On Twitter, tag @kkirrocksevents and use #kakairuvalentinesweek2023

All tagged work will be shared by us, and a masterpost will be created at the end of the event!

If you have any questions about Valentine’s Week, please let us know!

We look forward to seeing your creations!

[kakairu-shrine]

New Fic: Boyfriends

This is a very last minute fic written for the Fake Relationship prompt for @kakairu-rocks event, KakaIru Valentine's Week 2023!

Enjoy!

Boyfriends (8206 words) by demonofabove

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Naruto

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka

Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Umino Iruka, Original Characters

Additional Tags: KakaIru Valentine's Week 2023, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Stalking, Teasing, Smut, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex

Summary:

Kakashi has a stalker, and doesn't know what to do...

So he asks Iruka to pretend to be his boyfriend, to help get rid of her.

[animetrashmuffin]

"Kakashi, I need you to have sex with me."

"See, I knew the powers of Icha Icha would entice you into my bed. Got you all keyed up didn't it?"

"No, I just desperately need to make sure you don't think human bodies work like this. You have taken basic anatomy right?"

Kakairu Valentine's Week Day 7: Romance for Dummies

Hosted by @kakairu-rocks!

(also completed all 7 days for the third year in a row! 💪🥱😴)

[narutoevents]

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