#kaltain and their victims

[machinegrl]

what's your favorite scary movie? 🔪

[a-hazbin-reader]

Okay, let's continue.

So Alastor makes a few digs in about her family. He found out that her father had died a few years ago. She has three older sisters and one brother. He knew what he was going to do. 

So one day, he invited all of her family members to stay for a month in New Orleans. He's not going to finish them all in one kill; it's going to look suspicious, especially on her behalf. So he's going to take them down, one by one. 

First, he tricks her first sister into a tavern and buys her a drink that has poison. One down.

(Btw, I know he most likely killed them by hand in his way, but he needs to make sure the family is cursed by coming here somehow.) (So it's not going to look suspicious.)

Second, her brother. This one he killed by hand, but in the end, he made it seem like he died in an accident. He put his dead body on a car, then put a brick on the pedal, and off you go! Boom! It's crashed into another car. 

For the last two sisters, they tried to flirt with him (he was disgusted by them). So he used this advantage to trick them into this one abounded warehouse in the middle of nowhere and killed them in the most brutal way possible. His heart only belongs to his wife. 

Now for the mother. He already has her tied up in the basement. When he was about to finish him off, Katty came down to the basement to look for him. How shocked is she when she finds out about the scenery in front of her? Alastor tries to explain the situation while the mother begs her to let her go. She then slowly stood in front of her mother.

The mother: "Kat, please... Please let me go. Together, we report this psychopath's husband of yours and live a happy life. I know you never had a mother to grow up with. So let me give you one."

Kaltain: "You think I never know...why the reason my real mother died...? You think I never know why my father got into a car crash...? You think I will never find out that you are the reason behind this? I know you poisoned my mother, and I know you planned my father's accident. I would never want you, mother, love; you are not one to begin with. You make my life a living hell. Now I will make sure you end up in hell."

She then took a knife from one of the Alastor collections and stabbed her. Not once, not twice, but until she is satisfied and breaks down. She then slowly sank to the floor while crying. A pair of arms wrap around her and comfort her. 

Alastor then cleans up all the evidence and gets rid of the body. He then returned home and comforted her all night. The next day, she confronts her husband to see if he is the serial killer they are looking for. At first, he was scared that she would leave him, but his wife offered to help him with his killing. He declined at first, worried something was going to happen to her, but then let her. 

Surprise is written on his face when he finds out his wife is pretty good. So they became partners in crime (yeah!). One lures the victim; one finishes the victim.

Until he got shot. Oh, how sad Katty was sad when she heard the news! It took her a few weeks, maybe a month, to recover. So to continue his legacy, she keeps killing for him. This continues for 2 years until she gets murdered or shot. 

When she woke up, she was in a forest or swamp. Her appearance is also different. A hand is offered to her; she looks up and finds her husband in deer form. He quickly jumped into his arms. They finally reunited. The couple couldn't be more happy than they were. 

So they live happily ever after death.

The end <3

Thank you for reading ✨

OH SHIT BBY GIRL GOT HER REVENGE AND HER MAN

[ae-neon]

Reading Throne of Glass (19-22)

Recap:

Dorian's mother Queen Georgina is pushing him to get married.

The second Test is upcoming

Chapter 19

Unexpected Kaltain Rompier POV?!

Kaltain is still at the ball that Dorian left early in the previous chapters, she's bummed he left but surprised Duke Perrington made an appearance.

So Kaltain is from a minor house and essentially got to court through the Duke's "favour" - she's been able to avoid having to sleep with him but she thinks her time is running out

Hm. I'm a bit disappointed with Perrington. I thought he'd be scary like the King - smart and intimidating. For Kaltain's sake it's better this way but...

I thought he'd be Dorian's antagonist at court, but he gets all red in the face and almost blurts things out in anger. I wanted him to be a smart scheming courtier.

Nice to see a bit of Dorian and Chaol's friendship even if the conversation does revolve around who likes Celaena (less than a month into the story)

HC that Dorian is taller than Chaol.

“What about that dead Champion—the Eye Eater? Any idea yet who did it, or why?” Chaol’s eyes darkened. “I’ve studied it again and again over the past few days. The body was totally destroyed.” The color leeched from Chaol’s cheeks. “Innards scooped out and gone; even the brain was . . . missing. I’ve sent a message to your father about it, but I’ll continue investigating in the meantime.” “I bet it was just a drunken brawl,”

Definitely not.

And how did he send the message if no one knows where the king went??

Chapter 20

Celaena closed her book and sighed. What a terrible ending. SJM queen of foreshadowing, very meta

So Chaol is understandably frustrated by the murder as well as the king's secret trip but the way he acted with Celaena was deserving of her reaction, especially after she had opened up to him about Endovier and her physical issues around vomiting and the damage her body has sustained.

But SJM loves writing romances like a "how to become a victim" guide. She has Celaena gaslight herself into thinking she was unnecessarily cruel and Chaol is so innocent and undeserving. Feyre is written to do the same - especially when it's obvious Rhysand is in the wrong - and I bet if I cracked open the garbage can that is ACOSF, Nesta would hate herself and call herself a monster for telling Cassian to fuck off.

Again it's less of the big things that stand out to me. Anyone can point at something obvious and say "well this is a fantasy/ the morals of the time or story etc" but stuff like this slips through the cracks of impressionable minds and is necessary to internalise to enjoy the romance.

Anyways back to tog

Celaena is bored and anxious and has rigged things in her room to make it obvious if someone tries to sneak up on her and kill her like the other competitor.

There's a piano in her room and she really likes to play

She had been good once—perhaps better than good. Arobynn Hamel made her play for him whenever they saw each other. She wondered if Arobynn knew she was out of the mines. Would he try to free her if he did? She still didn’t dare to face the possibility of who might have betrayed her.

This dynamic has the potential to be so twisted and complicated and tragic but I don't think sjm is gonna realise that potential. Still hoping he's a smart villain tho

Glad Celaena has music as a sort of therapy. But now knowing this, certain elements of acomaf especially seem lazy as fuck.

Celaena: I have set up things in my room - down to changing the hinges on the door - so no other murderer or assassin can sneak up and kill me

Dorian, having snuck in and stood behind her for 10 minutes without her realising: ...

Dorian peeled himself from the wall. For all her assassinating experience, she didn’t notice him until he sat down on the bench beside her. “You play beau—” Her fingers slipped on the keys, which let out a loud, awful CLANK, and she was halfway to the rack of cue sticks when she beheld him.

Worst assassin ever?

Pelor and his poisons >>>

Riceman is Dorian's son. Maybe sjm regretted not giving him the endgame in tog so she just dipped him in black and sent him to acotar.

How’s training going? Any competitors giving you trouble?” “Excellently,” she said, but the corners of her mouth drifted downward. “And no. After today, I don’t think any of us will be giving anyone any trouble.” It took him a moment to realize she was thinking of the competitor who had been killed while trying to escape. She chewed on her bottom lip, quiet for a heartbeat, before she asked: “Did Chaol give the order to kill Sven?” “No,” he said. “My father commanded all the guards to shoot to kill if any of you tried to escape. I don’t think Chaol would ever have given that order,” he added,

On the one hand it's understandable that Celaena would see the humanity in the other competitors and the savagery in the guards and higher-ups who are using them in this game but it's also kinda out of character that she's so torn up about this Sven dude.

If the competition had gone a little longer and come to some desperate point and Nox Owen had been the one to try to run - especially after his sponsor promised him he wouldn't have to go back to his old life - then be murdered in cold blood by the King's orders, I would understand, believe and appreciate her feelings on this.

But as it stands, she herself wants to kill some of the competitors and Sven's death was the first time we even heard of him. Who gives a fuck

And the idea that Chaol would never order the death of these criminals is such bs? He's the Captain of the Royal Guard. He's been ready to kill Celaena from the moment they met. Only the day before he asked her what she did to deserve being whipped as a slave labourer. He would definitely kill all of them if he needed to

Again, I understand sjm is trying to develop a romance and using character development to bring them closer but it's coming at the cost of the characters themselves.

Celaena even questions herself on when she became so sappy and girl idk because you've only been here like 3 weeks?!?!

So Celaena says she doesn't want to be seen as Dorian's lover because she doesn't want people to think she sells herself. Dorian calls her out on her morality given she kills people for money and she gets offended.

He's right. Why does she think she's better than anyone else? Or better yet why does she look down on those who do that in the first place - especially given where she comes from?

Or maybe it's exactly that. No matter how much she experiences - becoming an orphan, losing her country, grueling training, slavery - she still can't let go of the idea that she was born better than other people? She's still just a royal asshole at heart?

Celaena is down 10 points

Okay so Dorian is riling her up as a way of flirting but Celaena's not happy about it funny how it was unacceptable when it was Nesta who didn't want to entertain a clown

Sorry, sorry, my inner hater slipped out

It was his turn to blush. Had he ever been scolded by anyone like this? I've heard Dorian is kinky in the later books. But I just know sjm isn't gonna deliver what I hope for

This is only her 3rd or 4th time meeting Dorian and he's said the wrong thing again and again and she literally kicking him out of the room but she still just tells him the truth about Sam? It feels a little unearned

Chapter 21

We pick up in the middle of the second Test. They're scaling a castle wall to retrieve a flag. And another one of the competitors didn't show up. One of the competitors falls and dies.

A dude named Grave is tryna kill Nox Owen but Celaena jumps into action to save him.

Chapter 22

Mission impossible style Celaena jumps with a rope tied to her waist to catch Nox as he falls.

Between the weight on her waist and the fact that they both slammed into the wall, idk how she's still holding onto this man Nox

Cain wins the Test, of course. Celaena is upset, of course.

Celaena and Nox still have to compete for some reason even tho literally everyone just witnessed her insane save. They both make it through the Test.

Later, Chaol isn't happy she showed she's definitely more than just some jewel thief through her rescue actions.

She glared at him. “Well, I still lost.” (...)

Chaol’s brown eyes shone golden in the midday sun. “Wasn’t learning to lose gracefully part of your training?”

“No,” she said sourly. “Arobynn told me that second place was just a nice title for the first loser.”

I want so much from this relationship. It's shaped so much of how she acts and thinks and while it was obviously done for manipulative reasons; Celaena is who she is because of him. She has survived because of what he made of her.

She looked toward the window, and the glittering expanse of Rifthold barely visible beyond it. It was strange to think that Arobynn was in the same city—that he was so close to her now. “You know he was my master, don’t you?” “I’d forgotten,” Chaol said. Arobynn would have flogged her for saving Nox, jeopardizing her own safety and place in this competition. “He oversaw your training personally?” “He trained me himself, and then brought in tutors from all over Erilea. The fighting masters from the rice fields of the southern continent, poison experts from the Bogdano Jungle . . . Once he sent me to the Silent Assassins in the Red Desert. No price was too high for him. Or me,” she added, fingering the fine thread on her bathrobe. 

Them acting like Arobynn saying she has to pay him back for all the money he spent on training her isn't completely normal, understandable and reasonable 🙄

Like I'm sure there's plenty of reasons to hate the man so why would you point that out like he's supposed to be in the wrong for that.

Over five hundred thousand gold coins. Gone in three hours. Nesta Archeron was imprisoned for less

Chaol and Celaena have a bit of back and forth, grinning and insulting each other, cute

Surprise, surprise, the competitor who didn't show up was found dead days later

The new murder cast a pall over the next two weeks, and the two Tests they brought with them. Celaena passed the Tests—stealth and tracking—without drawing much attention to herself or risking her neck to save anyone.

Okay time jump. We're approximately two months into the story. It's nine weeks until the final duel.

Celaena hasn't interacted with Dorian since the day in her room but she feels "warm and tingly" when she sees him apparently

Chaol's side of the love scale is stacked and Dorian's side is just sjm going "trust me"

Celaena is finding herself feeling anxious about whether she'll make it to the top 4.

---

Overall we're sitting at about 3 stars. It's okay.

[acourtofquestions]

Current Theory (reading HoF for the 1st time now):

Wherever Kaltain was taken to, whatever leeching of magic he’s (the King) doing, the spelled rings, monsters he’s drawing/summoning, etc. The King IS the reason why; it’s his skin walkers, poisoned sheep, dark blooded men with the witches, victims in the fae woods, and captain Rolfe mystery islands.

[sarahnotjmaas]

Here it is, my chaotic note taking as I experienced Queen of Shadows 4.5/5⭐️

I do not trust Arobynn. Why does this woman keep working with this man.

Who is with Chaol?? SHE!?!?

I heard the fandom is full of Chaol haters and tbh I don’t get it. I’m only on the 5th book but not seeing it yet

Chaol is kinda dumb haha and super sensitive and 5 books in has yet to prove he can fight like at all. He killed Cain but it was a single strike and that was like his first kill. Ever.

SJM wouldn’t write another tragic love story right!? Cuz Chaol is in need of character building and Nesryn and him are already giving me Dorian and Sorscha vibes.

Listen in SJM books endgame relationships are slow burbs. They have chemistry to quickly

HE PAWNED THE RING???

Kaltain has a collar too!!

Dorian battling for his life with that demon 😭

Aelin, we’re officially calling her Aelin now, is wasting her time with Arobynn she is capable without he’s gonna double cross her I know it

Her showing up to the shadow markets was dope!

When is Manon gonna for something cool. She has an awesome dragon puppy Abraxos and she’s doing nothing. Low key I love Asterin and she clearly has her back so demoting her was a bitch move

This book has more action, I like it

Sneaking into the party as a dancer, nice.

The smoke, very Harry Potter! I could see this scene so vividly in my head

Chaol is being a jerk a little bit. He acts like the whole rebellion isn’t for Aelin. When you start holding your own then you can talk, Mr. I’ve only ever killed one person, otherwise stop bossing Aelin around……

Oh shit Elide is a witch. So she’s in with the witches meaning when she links back up with her childhood homies Aedion and Aelin they will be a steaming pile of shit in the kings bed! Hell yea

When does Rowan come back 😭oh okay

27 chapters lol

I read pine and snow and my heart fluttered

No she made a bath for him with all her fancy soaps!!! BECAUSE SHE YELLED AT SAM FOR USING THEM!!!!!!

Gavriel is Aedion’s father!?!???

Oh no poor Aedion, the blood oath was sworn to him but also…. Why can’t she have both she’s the queen she can make her own rules

THE NIGHTGOWN!!!!! She better get a fucking good night gown i stg!!

My boy Chaol is BITTER! Damn he fucked up in the second book and is gonna be bitter the rest of the series. He’s giving big soft boy energy. #NiceGuysFinishLast lol but I low key still want the best for him. He’s loyal to Dorian at the end of the day. Period. However if he’s trying to free Dorian doesn’t he think giving him full access to his powers might help him beat that demon in his body… just saying

Rowan’s and Aelin are literally dating

Going to Sam’s grave. Having Rowan go with her😭 I’m welling up it’s too much. I fucking hate Arobynn and it better be the sweetest death cuz I hate him so much

So I’m definitely not a fan of the witch maternity prison ward that’s happening. Everything about that is uncomfy and I need it to end immediately. Asterin seems to be the only sane one.

Rowan wearing the almost oil, power move!

No, not the room where she saw Sam’s mangled body😭HE PUT THE RING ON HER FINGER!!! Is she faking it??I knew it lol wait but why did he say don’t touch me like that 😭well good for Lysandra I guess

This book is an emotional rollercoaster

There is something SO sus about her Manons grandma. She bowed to the king!?!?!? What’s in the trailer?? What did Manon see??????

Hold up!!! The King is just another victim!?!? No fucking way!!!! That’s a twist I didn’t expect

ALL THOSE CENTURIES, I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR YOU fuck me up Rowan 😭

Slamming the door on Aedion’s face was a little rude but his timing is awful. Wait Lysandra and Aedion???? Love that, that’s fierce pair

Still not a Chaol hater and the trio of friendship between Aelin, Dorian and Chaol is so sweet. Is Chaol ever gonna find a woman he lives as much as Dorian lol CHAOL IS PARALYZED!?!? He broke his promise to Nesry cuz he can’t walk! I’m screaming “Let’s have an adventure,Nesryn Faliq” okay cute but am I alone in thinking Chaol needs someone meeker?? Like someone softer because I think nesryn is too much woman for him…….kinda (don’t come for me)

I never know what part of an SJM book will make me cry but making Lysandra a lady and having Evangeline be her heir got me actually tearing up!

Manon and Dorian. MANON AND DORIAN!!!!!!

Crying again cuz Rowan smells like Terrasen!

[pearblossommina]

ToG Read-a-Long, Queen of Shadows, day 2

Ch 8

Manon, omg she’s here omg

and so is DUKE PERRINGTON that mf. never ever thought I’d see him again.

This stuff with Kaltain really upsets me

In the first place sexual violence really upsets me - even if it’s just implied and not directly on screen - I am soft, and I am EASILY DISTRESSED - and I don’t like to read novels where stuff like this happens. It upsets me even more if this is supposed to be her comeuppance for being unlikeable in book one. Nobody deserves what this poor woman went through. (The addiction. The dungeons. And forced to marry the Duke, of all things.) (now she’s a mindless minion wearing one of those collars)

Why does Kaltain have to wear a collar, though…?

Is she a magician like Dorian? Is she secretly a princess, is she actually his sister and he didn’t know it? IS THAT WHY THE QUEEN DIDN’T LINE HER UP AS A MARRIAGE CANDIDATE FOR DORIAN IN BOOK 1

Maybe not, lol, she’s probably only wearing one so we’ll get to learn a way to free someone from a collar without beheading them… I refuse to just accept now that Kaltain is probably going to lose her head…

Anyway, I feel awful seeing her like this, it feels real icky and I hate everything about it.

ch 9

Ok

I formed some private opinions on Lysandra while I was reading The Assassin’s Blade but I wasn’t sure if she was going to be a returning character or not.

I think she’s fine????

And

I don’t

Understand

Why she and Celaena hate each other

Like - is it just because of Sam????

Sam wanted you to be friends! So! Stop hating each other it doesn’t MAKE ANY SENSE you’re both victims of the same twisted system and you could murder Arobynn together if you could get over your petty grudge.

“Not the sword-no, she wanted the intimacy of a knife, wanted to share breath with the courtesan as she ended her.”

Hot

PLEASE share breath with her

I mean

(I know - I’m sorry - but my brain is like (maybe they should kiss) end this tension the good old fashioned way)

"Unfortunately for you, I don't have any interest in women. Even when they're paid for." My ship sinks, womp womp

(Screw you SJM can’t I ever have anything I want)

(Let Aelin kiss a girl damn it)

The ending of this chapter is so fast

Um

But yeah I agree! Quit dismissing people, Aelin? You’re not better than everyone else. You could have been friends with Lysandra instead of enemies, you could have been friends with Kaltain instead of judging her instantly, you could have GOTTEN TO KNOW Sorscha instead of just letting her fade into the background like she was beneath your notice.

IS THIS CHARACTER GROWTH oh my goodness (I am rooting for you so hard honey) (MY QUEEN)

Ch 10

“The least you could do is take me to dinner before looking at me like that.” I love you Aedion lol

But AHHHHHHHH this villain! I hate him

I hate him when can he die

Ch 11

Hehe

I kinda like Nesryn too

I hope she saves Dorian, I really do like him, and I’m team save-his-neck. Would like to see Chaol and Dorian get reunited as best-bros-who-are-totally-platonic-and-not-in-love.

Ch 12

“Humans were for sport and blood and the occasional, very rare siring of witchlings.”

I still wanna know if there’s any such thing as a male witch

Ok - so there seems to be some plot happening. Duke wants to implant stones in their belly buttons to make new soldiers….

And witches are already partially valg?

I swear to god I was paying attention before but this feels like brand new information.

(I don’t care. The more SJM makes them seem like scary unredeemable villains the harder I simp)

“Witchlings were so rare, and all of them female, as a gift from the Three-Faced Goddess.” Oh so the witches ARE all female

That’s pretty nifty and I like it as worldbuilding. I don’t like Harry Potter anymore, but it reminds me of the Veela. It’s just fascinating to have a fantasy race that can only be passed through female lineage, like they can have sex with human men, and procreate, but a male child will never bear the full features of the race. For some reason this sort of thing is really engaging to me. Also I just like high fantasy lesbian allegories, fight me.

“Manon poked an iron-tipped nail beneath Elide’s chin, tilting her head up.”

I am so down bad, Manon, PLEASE

(she- SHE!!!!) (i’m so gay) (I’m gonna lose it if she keeps being so effortlessly sexy)(I’m sorry) (guh) (she’s very hot though)

I’m like, really having a hard time not devouring this book

The struggle is real

[teenageread]

Review: Throne of Glass

Synopsis:

After serving out a year of hard labor in the salt mines of Endovier for her crimes, 18-year-old assassin Celaena Sardothien is dragged before the Crown Prince. Prince Dorian offers her freedom on one condition: she must act as his champion in a competition to find a new royal assassin.

Her opponents are men-thieves and assassins and warriors from across the empire, each sponsored by a member of the king's council. If she beats her opponents in a series of eliminations, she'll serve the kingdom for four years and then be granted her freedom. Celaena finds her training sessions with the captain of the guard, Westfall, challenging and exhilarating. But she's bored stiff by court life. Things get a little more interesting when the prince starts to show interest in her ... but it's the gruff Captain Westfall who seems to understand her best.

Then one of the other contestants turns up dead ... quickly followed by another. Can Celaena figure out who the killer is before she becomes a victim? As the young assassin investigates, her search leads her to discover a greater destiny than she could possibly have imagined

Plot:

Celaena was sent to where people die. No one has ever escaped Endovier, getting shot down if they move even three feet away from where they were supposed to stand. But Cleaena was not Adarlan's Assassin for nothing. She was a finger’s tip away from the wall before she was caught, a length of three hundred sixty-three feet away from where she started. She was kept alive only because the king wanted her to suffer Endovier for as long as she could. Her skill as an assassin is how the Crown Prince, Dorian Havilliard, knew she was going to be his champion. Offering her the deal of a lifetime, four years of service, and then freedom, Celaena accepted, knowing that if she loses, she would be sent straight back to Endovier. Meeting the other champions, Celaena must train hard to get back to the shape she was before Endovier. Having the best trainer, Chaol, the Captain of the Guards, pushing her to the limit, Chaol also train her to stay within the middle of the pack, and not to show off. Competing under a false name, Lillian Gordaina, with a false story, daughter of a merchant who is a jewelry thief, Dorian and Chaol did not want people to know that Celaena was their champion, as most people figured her to be older, and male. With Dorian is flirting with her, Chaol keeping a tight leash on her, Celaena knows more than twenty-tree men are standing between her and freedom. There is darkness in the castle, a monster that is out to kill the champion before they could compete, and a monster Celaena is tasked to kill by a higher being.

 Thoughts:

You can just tell this is going to be a great series. Sarah Mass introduces you to the world she created kingdoms, slavery, magic, and a teenage assassin. Celaena is a powerhouse of a character that Mass makes you fall in love with. She is arrogant, a slob, a bully, but also kind, funny, and has high moral values, which makes her a well-rounded character. The sparks of a love triangle are visual, as where Dorian already made it known that he likes Celaena, there are hints that Chaol has feelings for Celaena as well. In the third-person point of view, Mass focuses mainly on Celaena but does switch over occasionally to Dorian, Kaltain, and Chaol.  A downside to this story would be the number of characters Mass introduced, although there were only a few key characters that you had to remember. Where this is the first of seven, I am positive these characters will all make reappeared again. This story held a lot of background information, as well as action parts as Celaena competes in the trials. There is so much that also have not been discussed, especially around not only Celaena, but also Chaol’s past, and how he ended up Captain of the Guards at twenty. With so many directions to go in, it will be interesting to see where Mass directs the story, by the adventure and romance for our characters.

Read more reviews: Goodreads

Buy the book: Amazon

[rayonfrozenwings]

Starfall and the Wild Hunt - a acotar/tog fan theory

Ok Guys… another theory… is coming…If I could animate I would make you a pretty video with me talking over the top, but I can’t - so it’s just lots of words.

Preface

Well it WAS Halloween here in kiwi land. (when I started writing this) And it got me thinking about it being the kind of night when spirits can pass through to our world. And I saw a post about faerie gates on tumblr Faerie and wyrd - both have an etymology to the word fate Same word the same/same type of thing Click goes my brain

Wyrd gates/Faerie gates

Ooooo I think

Then I remember on Calanmai where Rhysand said that - all creatures/beasts? get to walk the earth on that day - or some jazz like that. (I thought it was just in reference to Amarantha letting people out but what if it’s something more?)

So I started to wonder if Samhain in the TOG series was a later version of some more ancient ritual… because Elena is allowed to have a physical presence on that night.

REMEMBER I THINK TOG AND ACOTAR ARE LINKED SOMEHOW - SEE THIS ERILEA POST, @sparkleywonderful​ had some great points and I’m going to expand on one of them, use them in my discussion “think - Sliders; and parallel worlds.”

Ok. So now i’m on the thought path of …. what holidays are there in TOG/ACOTAR that could be linked….

Hopefully you are still with me…

Starfall and The Wild Hunt

Is Starfall a reference to “the wild hunt” in folk lore/mythology.

The wild hunt collects souls that are to be taken to the underworld.

We know that the night court is at- the end of the earth/world -

We know that Rhysand is referenced to as a Hades type in ACOMAF when he took Feyre away for 1 week out of 4 a month. (Hades and Persephone myth)

So if we view Rhysand as Hades and the night court as the edge of the underworld, we would be looking at the wild hunt and those it hunts/captures descending into the underworld.

The Wild hunt has many different leaders.

It’s never confirmed who is actually leading the hunt. But we know that the hunt is to take souls/spirits/people who are out when they shouldn’t be - to the underworld.

Here is a snippet from a wiki article:

The Wild Hunt is a European folk myth involving a ghostly or supernatural group of huntsmen passing in wild pursuit. The hunters may be either elves or fairies or the dead,[1] and the leader of the hunt is often a named figure associated with Woden[2] (or other reflections of the same god, such as Alemannic Wuodan in Wuotis Heer (“Wuodan’s Army”) of Central Switzerland, Swabia etc.), but may variously be a historical or legendary figure like Theodoric the Great, the Danish king Valdemar Atterdag, the Welsh psychopomp Gwyn ap Nudd, biblical figures such as Herod, Cain, Gabriel or the Devil, or an unidentified lost soul or spirit either male or female

The Wild hunt also “abducts” people to the underworld or fairy kingdom.

Seeing the Wild Hunt was thought to presage some catastrophe such as war or plague, or at best the death of the one who witnessed it.[3] People encountering the Hunt might also be abducted to the underworld or the fairy kingdom.[4] In some instances, it was also believed that people’s spirits could be pulled away during their sleep to join the cavalcade.[5]

Is this is why Amren hates starfall? @sparkleywonderful had a thought that perhaps starfall marked the day Amren arrived in Prythian. This post. I’m wondering if Is she afraid of being taken with the wild hunt? Does she think the Wild hunt will see her for what she really is and therefore does not want to risk it. Will this also mean that since Amren used her power in ACOWAR and is now just a “high fae”; she will attend starfall?

Obviously with a lot of these type of stories there are different variation depending on the myth you look at - and some of these variations are just as time passes and stories are told orally, changes are made. Others are what was tales were common to a certain region. So it is very hard to make direct links connecting all myths. But the general Idea is cool - I like the Idea that Starfall isn’t a “pretty holiday” and is a bit more sinister/creepy.

Some don’t view “the wild hunt” as a bad thing and could this be a category our inner circle fall into. Is this what Rhysand thinks of starfall?

Grimm believed that in pre-Christian Europe, the hunt, led by a god and a goddess, either visited “the land at some holy tide, bringing welfare and blessing, accepting gifts and offerings of the people” or they alternately float “unseen through the air, perceptible in cloudy shapes, in the roar and howl of the winds, carrying on war, hunting or the game of ninepins, the chief employments of ancient heroes: an array which, less tied down to a definite time, explains more the natural phenomenon."https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_Hunt

Now I’m going to switch back to Throne of Glass Keep thinking of Starfall and the Wild hunt, in the back of your mind.

In Throne of Glass On Samhain (Halloween) Elena visits Celaena, she says she is not a ghost.  But She is also terrified that someone will find her (Celena says “is it the gargoyles - Elena neither confirms or denies this”) and says she doesn’t have much time. Is she afraid of the wild hunt? Is it because she is a Spirit walking the earth when she shouldn’t be. She says the hounds will find her. And Celena hears howling as she runs back to her room. (ch25TOG)

She also says that they are guarding a gate to another world - is this a gate to the underworld/hades? Dogs are known to guard entrances to the underworld (cerebrus), and we know that the clock tower is a pretty nasty “rift” because during Celeana’s battle with Cain, “spirits/demons” come out of it to torment her while she is in a state of delusion from the poison Kaltain gave her. (Also Rifthold, Ah! Times Rift, both weird “coincidences” from TOG)

In Queen of Shadows, Lorcan calls them Hounds/Dogs when he accuses Aelin of giving them his scent - side note he also refers to her, affectionately, as a bitch.

The wild hunt are known to hunt at different times depending on the tale/myth. But the general consensus is that they come out during winter - from the autumn solstice until the spring solstice. So it is possible that the “wild hunt” and hells dogs are linked.

In Welsh folklore, the Cŵn Annwn or "Hounds of Annwn” ride through the skies in autumn, winter, and early spring. The baying of the hounds was identified with the crying of wild geese as they migrate and the quarry of the hounds as wandering spirits, being chased to Annwn.

Source: Wiki article about “the wild hunt”

The idea of the Wild Hunt, hunting spirits on Samhain, and Amren being afraid of Starfall (this happens to coincide with Nynsar another holiday in spring) In british tradition of the wild hunt it is said that it lasts for 9 weeks ending on Easter (spring time in Britain), They are also known to hunt on holy days and from christmas until the twelfth night.

Then I investigated the Leaders of the Hunt…

And came across this in a wiki article:

Wales: Arawn or Gwyn ap Nudd, the Welsh god of the Underworld.

And I thought - hmmmm Arawn looks an awful lot like it could sound like Erawan.

So I looked up Arawn.

And he is king of the “otherworld”,

Click Click goes Renee’s Brain

He has hounds.

In one myth he is said to do this task with his wife (who turns out to be Hecate in modern paganism).

Hecate - a woman/goddess known for associations with dogs and keys and gates and opening gates. A motherly figure. A triple faced goddess. (I am not touching that theory)

So I also thought of EOS and a couple of Moments - because if I think that Erawan is the Leader of the hunt and therefore king of the “otherworld/underworld?” then his hounds are his “wild hunt”.

The ilken are called his “blood hounds”.

The hounds hunt Lorcan and Elide The ilken can break Lorcans shields (ch9 EOS)

Maeve is also associated with wolves/hounds. Maeve used to have the wyrd keys. Maeve is Erawan’s wife, and a co-leader of the wild hunt or another Victim of the Hunt, trapped in Erilea I haven’t decided. She’s a tricky character to pin down.

Maeve is called the bitch-queen (symbology of being a leader of dogs not just an “affectionate” term) though Hecate as a mother goddess also has these links.

The gods and goddesses who are trying to get home and are using their scions to do so, are terrified of Maeve. Anneith herself “fled” from maeve in EOS on the beach, Elide makes note that there is no tap on her shoulder to guide her. This supports the idea that Maeve is a part of the wild hunt, or at least a threat to Anneith.

So a quick summary of the points so far …

Arawan and Maeve are Leaders of a/the Wild Hunt

With the Loss of the Keys they are unable to “hunt” and move between worlds - though wyrd gates - to collect their spirits/ghosts/victims. Some of these victims are “trapped in Erilea”.

If they are Trapped In Erilea - the hunt are also  “trapped” . And trapped with the prey that that took from other worlds.

Amren hates starfall because Starfall is the night the hunt returns to the underworld with their catch. And she doesn’t want to be seen and taken. Perhaps this is because she escaped the hunt before and perhaps that is how a “arch-angel type of character” ended up in Prythian (a greek myth type of world) ACOMAF

Anneith Flees Maeve because Maeve would recognise her and there is a fear of being taken. EOS

Elena is scared of the hounds taking her away on Samhain. TOG (some rifts are said to open without keys - I cannot remember where or when though, it seems like something a stygian spider would say)

The guardians of the portals to other worlds are hounds - just like hounds guarding the underworld. Aka Cerebus?

So are Erilea and Prythian parallel worlds that the “wild hunt” runs through to collect the souls/spirits/and take them to the underworld/otherworld.

Rhysand explains that Starfall is spirits traveling. ACOMAF

And if this is the case

(remember it’s a theory, and I am not a scholar in “the wild hunt” or “welsh mythology” etc etc.just a tog/acomaf/sjm fan who loves seeing parallels in literature)

Then perhaps…

There are multiple versions of the gods because of parallel dimensions

we get reoccurring characters in different guises because of parrallel dimensions e.g. sin eater/bone carver - storytellers/the suriel, baba yellowlegs/the weaver

Perhaps each of SJM’s worlds are similar e.g. the geography matches but there is a subtle difference - and they are not the same because they each draw on a different mythology (prythian - Greek mythology, TOG - Welsh mythology, Amren’s world - Biblical) (kind of like “his dark materials” series and the use of parallel worlds in that. written  by Philip Pullman - another great book series, omg links to the subtle knife and acowar could be amazing but i’m not going there right now).

The world of Prythian and Erilea are similar because they have a time difference or one moment/point of difference that separates them (aka @sparkleywonderful ‘s sliders reference on the Erilea post also His Dark Materials and use of ice age to differentiate parallel worlds from Northern Lights and The Subtle Knife)

The Wild Hunt travels through wyrd gates to collect souls/spirits and takes them to the underworld. Possibly traveling across worlds through WYRD GATES.

Hecate (maeve) as the keeper of the keys opens and closes the gates for the leader of the hunt.

When Hecate (maeve) takes the keys the hunt can no longer continue - maybe the “prey and the hunt” are all stuck in the same place. What happened when Maeve and Erawan first came to Prythian? Are his brothers other versions of gods - if Erawan is king of the underworld/otherworld what would his brothers be kings of? (I am not going down that path today)

Stuck in Erilea

So they inter-breed or act as gods/goddesses in Erilea. Erilea has not seen these people before - no-one is like them. We can get “powerful magic uses” as descendants from other worlds. It also explains why the Fae are so different in each world and why our “heroes” power in TOG is so unique.

For Example - Elain + Lucien have children - generations pass (or not) and then this person is taken by the wild hunt from Prythian. Maybe Mala “a goddess” is taken from Prythian and is stuck in Erilea… Mala has the powers of that union to pass down to her children. E.g. flame and fire and light…a daughter of Fate  @iamthebonecarver - what do you think?

Or raw magic - can do anything, blue eyes like sapphire, black hair. Sounds an awful lot like a Feysand child or descendant - hmmm and a certain Dorian does have those qualities…

We know that the 12 gods and goddesses who appear to Manon and Aelin in the Witch Mirror in EOS are just trying to get home (to their world).

But if this is the case then perhaps each world has it’s own “mother goddess”, and Maybe Erilea’s mother Goddess is pissed off at another World’s mother goddess. Because there is a lot -a lot - a shit tonne! Of similarities between Maeve and Aelin and Hecate and the triple goddess motif. I’m not going into it because I have not researched/looked into that avenue yet. And I’m not sure I want to. I’ll just say that weird coincidences between wielder of keys/ wolves-dogs/ artemis-deana-anneith vs hecate.

OK if you stayed with me. Thank you and I’m done for the most Part. I’m not writing up a big summary. 

But basically - Parallel worlds - Wild Hunt vs our faves - a cluster F*ck of mythologies from everywhere all thrown together. :)

This all started with me having a look into STARFALL I thought talking about starfall could be fun and not too serious… *sighs* And then STARFALL as a representation of the wild hunt in Pyrthain could be cool… and I got away on myself.

*throws hands up*

All I wanted to say was that Starfall could be the wild hunt. I thought of this because I read a book series called the spiritwalker trilogy by Kate Elliott a few years ago (it’s good - I recommend it, first book is Cold Magic) and it had similarities that popped into my head.

So yeah. It’s a theory. A cobbled together theory - that would probably be better explained via video. 

A parallel worlds theory which would mean that Sarah’s quote about how the world’s in TOG and ACOTAR aren’t the same - but perhaps you could step through a wyrd gate to see them - would make sense. ALSO DID YOU KNOW SHE WINKED!!! SHE DID A WINKY FACE!!! SJM is Cheeky! haha.

Twitter quote

“Replying to @BookishlyAmber (on twitter)

.@BookishlyAmber TOG & ACOTAR are in the same Megaverse. So you could technically open a Wyrdgate between their worlds. ;) #ACOTARParty”

A DAMN WINKY FACE!!!!

Ok and I am Done for Today! Done!

So Book recommendations from this theory

Spiritwalker Trilogy - Kate Elliot

Cold Magic

Cold Fire

Cold Steel

His Dark Materials - Phillip Pullman

Golden Compass/Northern Lights - depending on where you are in the world

The Subtle Knife

The Amber Spyglass

Also the lovely

@paperbacktrash

just told me Philip Pullman has a new book out! What?? - *Renee adds to the tbr pile*

Thank you to some people who have inspired/talked with me - seen me take notes - had a little discourse etc etc.

@sparkleywonderful - for reading my theories and commenting and that sliders reference!

@paperbacktrash - all the greek stuff :D and letting my thoughts run away with me. 

@rowaelinsmut and @propshophannah … this one is a parallel world theory, not a same world theory - I don’t know if that is better or worse because I still made a link and it’s not really crossover but still >.< please don’t hate me for finding a possible link. 

@iamthebonecarver, @crownedwithstarz for our shared fangirling/theorising

@rhysand-vs-rowan for the Aelin/Elain name thing that could still mean something - because SJM did a damn winky face.

xx

Renee

[modernbookfae]

Elide x Lorcan- hurt/comfort modern au. Lorcan as a cop Elide as a victim of abuse. I know it seems rough but it is so satisfying. 10/10

Here you are dear anon~!  Elide has just fought her way out of an abusive home, but she has lost so much, but officer Salvaterre offers a brighter outlook of tomorrow.

Lorcan was never the one to comfort. His squad knew that. He was always the one to serve justice by force and never by a gentle hand. But this woman – Elide – made him want to try.

“You can talk about it,” Lorcan coaxed. “No one is going to hurt you anymore. I promise.”

Read on AO3 | TAGS: hurt, comfort, abuse, modern au, Officer Salvaterre

Flashing red and blue lights danced across Elide’s eyes as she stared at the crumbled smoking walls that once were her uncle’s home. But to Elide it was a prison.

No…it was hell.

Her ankle throbbed terribly at the memory. The years she was given custody to uncle Vernon after her parent’s death had took its toll. She broke her legs on his stairs when she was only a little girl and he never let her be taken to the doctor. Never even let her step more than twenty feet out his front door.

Elide was given a tight leash that eventually turned into a chain. And then that chain became a reality the day Elide tried to escape. Vernon was quick to show that Elide would never be allowed to leave while he was still breathing.

From that day forth Elide’s life changed from bad to worse. Her ankle was injured to an extent that she couldn’t walk without limping and pain crawling up her leg.

It wasn’t until today that she welcomed that throbbing sensation. It meant she was alive.

A group of firefighter’s walked by after dousing the flames that had consumed the home all thanks to Kaltain, another woman in a long line of those who had suffered by Vernon’s hands.

Kaltain was fighter. She fought until her dying breath when she lit that house on fire in the hopes of burning Vernon and his thugs to the ground.

Elide was the avenger. She stabbed Vernon in the heart when he shot Kaltain as she tried to help Elide to safety. With all Elide’s strength she pulled Kaltain out the front door for the first time in years. The sun was rising and it poured over Elide in a basking light as she held Kaltain’s hand in a crushing grip.

But help had come too late for Kaltain. Elide begged her to stay alive as she pushed her palm into Kaltain’s wound to stop the bleeding. Kaltain smiled one last time before her dying breath drifted on a phantom wind.

Another life was extinguished in Elide’s existence.

When the first responders arrived to the fire they brought Elide oxygen and checked her vitals. The fire department worked to douse the roaring flames which took hours to control.

Through it all Elide mechanically answered the questions that bombarded her by police and EMTs.

Her eyes focused on the smoldering building. She would later find out that there were no survivors. Vernon was forever gone along with the rest of the people who…did terrible things.

“Elide Lochan.” A deep voice said and sat down beside her in the ambulance.

She blinked. That voice pulled her away from the horrific scene and she found herself staring up into dark eyes belonging to a massive man with equally dark hair. Elide felt incredibly small next to him. His police uniform did nothing to hide the muscles of his body.

He could easily hurt her if he wished. Elide narrowed her eyes at him in distrust. She wouldn’t cower, because she had done enough of that over the past few years she had been locked up.

“You are Miss Lochan correct? Niece to Vernon Lochan, the owner of this residence?” The man asked as if he wished to be elsewhere. As though he had better things to do then questioning a witness when he could be helping Whitethorn and the others on a drug raid in a neighboring town.

“Don’t say that,” Elide hissed. “I don’t want to be tied to that– that monster.” Her eyes seethed in anger at knowing she was family with such a wretched man. She wished she could drain every last drop that was tied to him, but then that meant losing her connection to her father. And Elide loved her father. She just couldn’t understand how he and Vernon could be brothers when Cal Lochan was a kind man while Vernon was the opposite.

The police officer watched her closely. He could see that the young woman’s mind was racing with thoughts behind her onyx eyes. She clearly was troubled and shaken by the ordeal she had went through.

“I’m officer Salvaterre,” the man paused. “But you can call me Lorcan.”

His only response was a numb nod from the woman beside him. Her bloody fingers fidgeted until she tried to wipe the blood off on her jeans.

“Were you hurt?” Lorcan motioned to her fingers.

“No,” Elide said. “Well I mean not from today, but –” Elide stopped abruptly.

Lorcan was never the one to comfort. His squad knew that. He was always the one to serve justice by force and never by a gentle hand. But this woman – Elide – made him want to try.

“You can talk about it,” Lorcan coaxed. “No one is going to hurt you anymore. I promise.”

Elide bit her trembling lip. She didn’t know this man, but he seemed genuinely concerned and didn’t look at her with pitying glances like so many other people at the crime scene.

“She wanted to save us,” Elide whispered. “Kaltain was my only friend and now…she’s gone.”

Lorcan knew the other female victim was DOA and there was nothing the medics could do to resuscitate her.

“What was she trying to save you from?” Lorcan asked. Though he and many other officers suspected Vernon, a known criminal for drug and sex trafficking, was a cause behind today’s events.

Lorcan could only hope that Elide was spared, even though that dark tendril of instincts told him otherwise.

“He did horrible things,” Elide diverted her attention to her fingers with Vernon’s dried blood on them. She started wiping her hands vigorously on her pants. Yet no matter what she did the blood wouldn’t come off.

“I – I just wanted to leave, but he wouldn’t let me. He kept me here and I couldn’t get out. I tried and he-” Elide choked on a sob. “It hurt so much. He used the chain and his friends tried to…hurt me like the others they brought in screaming. People were always screaming.”

“Elide,” Lorcan tried to calm her frantic hands that continually attempted to rid themselves of the blood. His hands gently grabbed her wrists and she jolted up to escape the memories his touch brought.

She stumbled as her ankle gave out and with a cry she fell to the floor of the ambulance.

But before her knees hit the metal she was scooped up against a broad warm chest. She froze in fear, but relaxed when Lorcan settled her on the stretcher. He sat down beside her and grabbed one of the antiseptic wipes from the medical kit.

Then Lorcan Salvaterre, the most withdrawn and hardened officer in the precinct, tenderly began wiping the blood off Elide.

Silence filled the space. Elide’s eyes trained on Lorcan’s steady motions. His hand easily covered her own and provided an odd sense of warmth that Elide didn’t even know she was missing. What had been deprived from her since her early childhood.

“You’re going to make it through this,” Lorcan said. His attention shifted to her eyes. “There are going to be tough days, but you are strong. Don’t ever let anyone say otherwise.”

“But what if they try,” Elide blinked away the tears that form in her eyes. “What if more people like Vernon-” Elide swallowed and couldn’t say the words that lodged in her throat.

“Then you will fight with everything you got,” Lorcan stated as if it was obvious. “Because that’s what you are. A fighter. And one that doesn’t give up.”

A heartbeat.

“And I will be there if you ever need me,” Lorcan said.

“Really?” Elide looked up in shock. “But why? You don’t know me.”

Lorcan shrugged. “It’s my job as an officer to protect others.”

“Oh.” Elide contemplated his words. Her pause was long before she finally spoke again. “Could I do that?”

“Do what?” Lorcan questioned having finished washing the dried blood off her fingers.

“Get a job that protect others,” Elide answered.

Lorcan stopped and looked down at the woman. Her dark tangled hair splayed on the stretcher with bruises and cuts underneath the dirt and blood that covered her in body. She was broken and bleeding. But she was a survivor. One that he could immediately tell would be a warrior until the end of her days. Much like him.

With ease Lorcan clasped her hand in his. The length of his fingers easily covered hers in warmth.

“You can do anything you wish,” Lorcan said with such vehement honesty that Elide’s eyes widened. “And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

In that moment Elide saw light in a man that was surrounded by darkness each day he faced. A man who faced monsters with every new dawn like she had for the past years. She didn’t realize it at that moment, but the light in his eyes reflected her own.

Lorcan could see the hope rise in Elide. And he felt the need to keep that hope aflame and burning bright.

And so they sat in that ambulance together. Knowing that whatever the next day brought they would welcome it with fierceness that mirrored each other.

For Elide was the light and Lorcan was the dark. And together they would conquer the demons of their past, the beasts of today and the horrors of tomorrow.

And they would do so with smiles upon their faces.

[fae-fucker]

Throne of Glass: Chapter 44-46

Aw yeah, three-chapter extravaganza! Sleep-deprived review, away!

Chapter 44

THA KING OF ALDERAAN DARTH VADER HIMSELF is being a spooky scary skellington and Sardines is super intimidated by him. She’s such a cold-hearted assassin that just seeing this dude makes her shit her pants and her half of the chapter is basically a bunch of wild rhetorical questions that pad the book without bringing anything new to the table.

Could he see what lay beyond her flesh? Did he know that Cain had the ability to open portals, real portals, to other worlds? Did he know that even though he’d banned magic, the Wyrdmarks still commanded a power of their own? [...]

There was a darkness in his eyes that felt cold and foreign, like the gaps between the stars. Could one man destroy a world? Was his ambition so consuming?

A chapter of Throne of Glass but each time there’s a rhetorical question it gets more pointless.

And as if this short-ass chapter needed a POV switch, we get Chaol talking about how suspicious it is that the king returned so early from [place] where he did [stuff] and how weird it is that he was alone and his entire entourage was murdered horribly in the White Fang mountains of Evil Doom! 

Suspicious indeed. We also get a bunch of wank about how awesome but also vulnerable Sardines is. Because fuck this book.

Here are some ... well, I can’t call them highlights. That would be lying.

She was incredible now, so fast he had difficulty keeping up with her. [...]

She never hesitated when they sparred, but she seemed to sink far within herself, into a place that was calm and cool, but also angry and burning. She could kill anyone, Cain included, in a matter of seconds.

Ya keep telling yourself that, Smaas. Maybe one day, Sardines will become a real assassin! 

She’d looked so small when she saw the king.

And when Smaas giveth the supposed strength of Sardines, she taketh away by reminding us how small and sweet and vulnerable she is. Great. 

[...] Celaena wouldn’t survive another year in Endovier.

P̶̻U̵̮͇̬̩͙̞T̥̱͍̬͚̦͖ ͖̺H̺̦͓E̦R͈̗̝ ̞͎͈͇͍̱̜̀B̶̬̟̳͈A̢͇C͈̣͈̺̘̦K̘̗

Chaol smiled slightly. She’d stirred up enough trouble in the months she’d been in the castle. He could only imagine what would happen over the next four years.

Uh. What exactly did she do, though? The only slightly defiant thing she did was coming to the ball, and y’all enjoyed that. 

Chapter 45

Nox and Sardines are practicing for the final test before the final duel. Nox notices the scars on her hand and asks what she knows, managing to piece this together:

“You told me to stay in my rooms the other night. And those scars look like bite marks. They say Verin and Xavier were killed by animals.”

But then he turns around and acts like a dumbass almost right after.

“If you were smart, you’d get out of this castle.”

“Why?” He shot a look at Cain. “What aren’t you saying?”

Somehow, instead of confirming his former assumption and giving him a decent reason to leave, Sardines spills her own beans by saying this:

“I’m saying that if I didn’t have any other choice but to be here—if it wasn’t between this and death, I would be halfway across Erilea by now, and not looking back.”

He figures out ... well no, that’s generous. She basically spells out for him who she really is and he realizes it because she’s just so famoose.

Nox was too smart for his own good.

[...]

“I received this from a creature I can’t even begin to describe to you, nor would you believe me if I tried. But there are five of us now, and because the Test is tomorrow, that means one more night we’re at risk.”

“I don’t understand any of this,” Nox said, still keeping back a step.

ARE YA SURE

“All of this time, I thought you were just some pretty girl from Bellhaven who stole jewels to get her father’s attention. Little did I know that the blond-haired girl was Queen of the Underworld.”

Jesus Christ, OKAY, WE GET IT, SHE’S THE QUEEN OF THE UNDERWORLD, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. PLEASE MOVE ON.

“Thank you for warning me. You could have opted to say nothing.”

“You were the only one who bothered to take me seriously,” she said, smiling with warmth that she meant. “I’m surprised you even believe me.”

BITCH, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT PEOPLE NOT BELIEVING YOU WHEN YOU 

DON’T TELL ANYONE ABOUT ANYTHING

*deep breath* I’m good.

Anyway, Nox escapes the castle easily and then we get a super random Kaltain POV without anything of import happening. She’s just tripping the fuck out and Cain is all menacing, or some shit.

Sardines is playing chess with Doriass. It’s super boring. Then, because Sardines is a cold-hearted, iron-willed assassin, she gets super scared of the evil monster and doesn’t want to be alone at night uwu, and she makes out with Doriass for a little while. Then he leaves. They don’t have sex, though. We’re saving the holy vag of Fae magic for Rowan.

But looking at him, with his face illuminated by firelight, she couldn’t see any resemblance to his father. No, she could only see his kindness, and intelligence, and maybe he was a tad arrogant, but . . . Celaena’s toes scratched Fleetfoot’s ears. She’d expected him to stay away, to move on to another woman now that he’d tasted her.

1. HAH

2. “Tasted her”? That was one kiss. You don’t think he wants to get his dick wet? Jeez.

Once Doriass leaves, Sardines is super scared of the evil monster and has nothing to defend herself with!

You shouldn’t have left Damaris in the tomb. Going back down there wasn’t an option—not while Cain lived.

Hint: Go there during the day when he’s occupied. Oh sorry, that would’ve made sense. 

Sardines is having a nightmare about when she was little and escaped from her backstory. It’s very exciting. She angsts about it. We find out that because of Nox leaving, there will be no final test, conveniently forcing Sardines to duel all the dudes that are left.

Chapter 46

We get another random and super pointless POV jump to Doriass, who is thinking about his rock-hard boner for Sardines and how she makes him want to *~*~*be a man*~*~* and also how she looks at him without any real love and adoration or some shit idk idc.

She was to duel tomorrow.

If harm came to her . . . No, she could hold her own; she was strong and smart and quick. He’d gone too far; he should never have kissed her. Because now, no matter how he might have once envisioned his future, or who he thought he’d spend it with, he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else—wanting anyone else.

1. HAH

2. Do I have some bad news for you, buddy.

We’re back with Sardies. She’s angsting on her balcony again.

While Cain was strong, he wasn’t as fast as she was. But he had stamina. She’d have to dodge him for a while. She just prayed all that running with Chaol would keep her from tiring before him. If she lost—

Don’t even give yourself that option.

Yeah, god forbid being prepared for the worst case scenario. Planning is just what real assassins do! 

Would it be more honorable to fall in the duel than to return to Endovier? Or would it be more honorable to die than to become the King’s Champion? Who would he have her kill?

Yeah sure, let’s have an assassin care about honor. 

“OH BUT SHE’S A PRINCESS REALLY” Shut up. She’s still a trained assassin. She should’ve learned that honor doesn’t matter.

Then again, the King of the Asses cared about honor, for some reason, so I guess it makes sense, even though it doesn’t.

She’d had a say as Adarlan’s Assassin. Even with Arobynn Hamel running her life, she’d always had a say in what jobs she took. No children. No one from Terrasen. But the king could tell her to kill anyone.

More proof that Smaas just wants the coolness of being an assassin without the moral ambiguity. Sardines never killed bad people! She had a choice! 

Nevermind the fact that Smaas doesn’t realize that this is basically Sardines playing god, which isn’t exactly a great thing for your supposedly good heroine to do. Congrats, you played yourself.

(I’m not saying she should murder kids, that’s a good rule to have, but nobody from Terrasen? That’s a whole country. Sardines is basically a nationalist who wants to be able to choose her victims based on her personal preferences.)

Celaena swallowed the lump in her throat. Perhaps there were other reasons to fight tomorrow. Perhaps a few months in the castle hadn’t been enough. Perhaps . . . perhaps she wanted to stay here for reasons other than her eventual freedom. That was one thing that hopeless assassin from Endovier would have never believed.

But it was true. She wanted to stay.

And that would make tomorrow so much harder.

I know you won’t, but I still hope you die and this garbage series ends.