#keeping big cats as pets and then being shocked and angry when they lash out and act wild despite it being our fault

[tysonfurybattlepass]

20 for Aster?

20. What’s their greatest fear? How does it control them?

Aster is terrified of not living up to her potential. Even worse, she isn’t exactly sure what that potential is. Her amur leopard ancestry causes her primarily human family and community to perceive her as superhuman, which not only puts immense pressure on her to perform up to expectations but also distinctly alienates her from her more ‘normal’ human peers. The truth is, she is not a human with superpowers. She is a hybrid between two different types of animals. Her feline physicality comes alongside distinctive feline behavior and needs, which many humans find off-putting and unacceptable despite being perfectly normal in the context of leopard ecology. Thus, actually interacting with Aster shatters the illusion of supernaturality people tend to perceive her through, and they are often left frustrated and disappointed with the real Aster. This is a struggle that a lot of animal species face when integrating into human societies, but specifically hybrids like Aster whose phenotype is fairly humanoid tend to be held to very human expectations which simply aren’t feasible for non-human creatures. Aster is constantly scrambling to get a good grade in socializing, something both possible to achieve and normal to want. Because of this she has severe social anxiety, which fuels her already asocial tendencies as part solitary animal. She also feels a need to hide her feline physicality from people, often refusing to run or climb and purposely pretending to be weaker than she is (and she is by no means weak. have you ever seen a leopard carry an animal bigger than itself up a tree using only its teeth?) to avoid setting expectations or making a spectacle of herself. Because of this self-imposed restriction, she is unable to express natural behaviors in a healthy way, which only adds to her overall stress and results in maladaptive daydreaming and intrusive thoughts.

that was all pretty heavy so here’s some cute concept art of Aster with short hair

[archangeldraws]

Reunion- Part two

A King Ghidorah fanfiction

Doraut AU

The human crew watches in awe and shock, as all of Ghidorah's heads lean towards their ship and look closely at the woman standing on the railing. She stretches an arm out, placing her hand on the beast's snout and smiles, tears streaking her face. She didn't look scared. Happy even. It was as if seeing a mother being reunited with her lost child. The thought itself was just absurd. How could a human be so happy to get this close to Monster Zero? That thing killed so many people, tried to take over the world, controlled other Titans and ordered them to destroy everything in their path. He even tried to kill Godzilla and died at his hand. Then some insane rich maniacs used his leftover parts to built a robot, again to kill Godzilla and that thing came back to life! How could this strange woman, who they'd only know for a few months and didn't know about any of the things that happened in the last 10 years be so eager to meet this murderous being?!

King Ghidorah studies the little being in front of him, as if he'd never seen a human before. The fact he's just been standing there for minutes, staring down at them and hadn't attacked yet was a miracle in on itself. Usually, and everyone knew it, Ghidorah attacks on sight. Usually, there was no hesitation. But this time the dragon seems unsure on what to do. The middle head's tongue snakes out, tasting the air. It was as if the woman and the beast were talking, without using words. She had explained to them before, that she could communicate with Ghidorah via telepathy since she was a child. And it.... It used to be her pet. What a strange thought. How could this being have ever been someone's pet? It's been on this world, encased in ice for 20.000 years and she says she was Ghidorah's old master and came from the future, 1.000 years from now. This doesn't make ANY sense!

Someone screams as Monster Zero's tongue lashes forwards, wrapping around the woman and picking her up. For a second they think it's trying to swallow her and they raise their weapons, ready to shoot. But it doesn't. It just... turns around and casually walks back to the mountain it came from. It didn't attack them, just... Took the woman and left. That's.... weird. “Should.... Should we do something, Sir?” A soldier turns to his commander, waiting for orders. The man that was his superior shakes his head. “No. She asked us not to do anything if we aren't in danger. Even if it killed her, we are not to engage. She wanted this. Monarch's orders.” Everyone on board stood still, not daring to move just yet. No one has every gotten this close to Monster Zero and lived to tell the tale. It's behavior was very unusual. They have to report this. In their fear they didn't even notice the rumble that came from the left head. A low grumbling sound from deep within it's throat. Like a purr.

Ghidorah leaves the ship behind. Ni thought if thrashing it with a tail, but Ichi decided against it. “Leave it be.”, he told his brother. He moves back up the mountain, back into their cave. He lays down, the middle head bending down to carefully release the tiny being wrapped in his tongue and looks at her with his usual emotionless expression. San was shaking with excitement. He wanted to dash forward and headbutt the human. Like he used to as a Dorat. Some old habits are hard to kill. But he restrains himself. Because now his happy greeting would crush her to mush, if he did so. “Explain yourself. How are you here?” Ni squints his eyes at the woman, not sure if he should be happy or angry. He decided on angry. “How are you still alive? We thought you died a long time ago. If you've been alive this whole time, why didn't you come sooner?! WHY?!” Ni roars, angry and hurt. Eva sighs, collecting herself and stands up straight. “I know you're angry and confused. I will explain everything. Things are not as you think.” “HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE THINK?! YOU GAVE UP ON US! YOU ABANDONED US!!” “Ni, please. I didn't abandon you! Let me explain.” “EXCUSES!” “Brother, calm down! Let her talk. We'll decide what to do, after.” Ichi towers over Ni, looking down on his brother in a dominating manner. He's telling him to stay quiet. Ni huffs, seething with anger but he bends down submissively. For now.

After taking in a deep breath, Eva sits down on the ground. “Do you still remember the day everything changed? When they took you from me? It was horrible. I still remember the looks on your faces as my parents handed you over, just like that. They sold you. They didn't know what they wanted with you, but they didn't really ask either. All we knew was, that the government needed you to 'help mankind', but I didn't buy it. Why would they need Dorats to help mankind? Dorats were just pets, like cats or dogs. I didn't understand. I was just a child.... But I did promise I would come for you. And I kept my promise. Since that day I have been working hard to get you back. I studied hard in school, helped in charities and got in contact with activists. Anything that could have something to do with the government and Dorats. Over the years I managed to find my way to different kinds of people, until I ended up with a rebel group. We had some things in common. Like me they knew something was up, something bad. That our country's leaders were keeping secrets and doing things that were more than illegal. Like me... They had lost their Dorats. I figured out there was a pattern. All the Dorats that were taken had strong psychic abilities. So we collected more information, as discretely as we could. Some of them had connections. We found out that there was a secret lab, hidden down below Mount Fuji. We heard of terrible experiments going on there. That they were working on a biological weapon to take out Godzilla. That was their plan. They wanted to create a titan, one that was stronger than the king of the monsters, to take his place. A new king. One they could control. That's why they chose Dorats for their experiments. Because, unlike other animals, Dorats were a man made being, one that was more intelligent and easy to control through it's mind. Project: King Ghidorah.”

“How did you know we were still alive?” San snakes closer, looking sad. The information they were getting was very different to what they knew. Not that they knew much. The memories of their abuse was pushed back as far as possible, not wanting to remember what had been done to them. Then again, there were many blackouts in their memory.

“Like I said, the other rebels too, had lost their beloved Dorats. But the difference between them and you was, after some time, they had received their Dorats back. In urns....” she chuckles, though not in an amused way. “Those sick bastards. After their experiments failed, they burned the bodies and send their ashes back to their owners. So they could 'mourn' them. I never received yours. So I was clinging to the hope that you were still alive. Even years later. But.... There have been days I wished I would wake up to seeing three little urns standing on my dresser. Then you wouldn't be in pain anymore...” She coughs, rubbing some tears from her face. “I've been working with the rebel group secretly for about 2 years, taking on some Taekwan do classes, learning how to use a weapon, how to work computers... I was getting ready to come and get you. We managed to get some connections within the secret facilities. People who, like us, knew that this was wrong. And people who had changed their minds and sided with us. We snuck in. We thought we were prepared. And we were too proud. I lost many good friends that day. They either died or were taken.... I'm not proud of the things I've done. I left them behind and just kept on pushing forward. I was so determined on getting to you, I lost a bit of myself on the way... When I finally reached you... I didn't know what to think. You were no longer my three little boys, but instead.... A monster.”

Eva looks up to face Ghidorah once more, trying to read their faces. San looks sad. Ichi looks unmoved. But there was a glint in his eye. If he was feeling anything, he was hiding it very well. Ni... Ni always wore his anger on his sleeve. And now it wasn't any different. “Monster... Yes. Nothing we haven't heard before.” Ichi frowns a little. As if hearing that word come from her mouth actually hurt, for once. “We.... We don't remember any of this... You came for us? Why can't we remember seeing you?” San wore a strained look on his face, as if trying hard to remember something, searching his mind for anything. But there was nothing. “You can't remember because... You weren't there. Your body was, but your minds were.... trapped, or something. It was as if you were a zombie. I shouted your names. I touched you. I even kicked and punched you, just to get any kind of reaction! But there was nothing. Your eyes were so lifeless... When I found you... You were in some kind of underground enclosure. A prison, really. Chained down in every way possible, so you wouldn't be able to even move an inch. Not that you could anyway. When my touch and my voice couldn't reach you, I tried feeling for your minds. But they were just as empty as your eyes. But still, I knew you were still in there, somewhere. I could feel it! I tried to free you, releasing all those chains, but I didn't have enough time. Some of the scientists found me and attacked me. In the middle of our fight we somehow... activated something. I hadn't noticed it before, but they had managed to, I don't know how... Create a time portal. And that thing was big. Big enough for you to fit.” “A time portal? For what?” Ichi looks at her as if she was an alien, saying she was coming in peace. “That's the thing. They wanted you to kill Godzilla and take his place as the new alpha titan. But you weren't strong enough to take him on just yet. So they had the brilliant idea to send you back in time and kill him when he was younger and weaker. And then to use you to control all the titans and become the strongest power on the whole planet. But before they could get you ready, I destroyed their plans. In our struggle, the last of your restrains came lose and you were sucked into the portal.... Ichi, Ni, San... You were send back in time, 20.000 years from now. But we, you and I, were originally from the time 3025... We actually come from the future.”

It seems like those news actually shocked the golden demise, as Ghidorah sits down, taking all of this in. “Then.... How are YOU here?” Ni asks, looking tired from too much information. “I got sucked in as well. But the portal was unstable and kept changing its time settings and coordinates every few seconds. So I actually landed here a few months ago. We left at the same time, but now there is a time difference of 20.000 years between us. It's unbelievable that after so long, you are still alive! I almost gave up on finding you again. When they told me Godzilla destroyed you.... And how your brain was used for a robot... And how you came back to life. I-... I couldn't believe it, really. But here you are! And we can talk again! Our link is still there... I'm-.... I'm so happy to see you.” Eva chokes on her words, tears swelling up in her eyes again. “To hear your voices after all those years, it's like a dream. And I hope I never wake up from this!” “You... You're not scared of us?” San leans down, sniffing her. “I could never be scared of you.” “We could kill you, you know. We are no longer those Dorats you knew. We are no ones pet. We are KING Ghidorah!” Ichi says this, in a matter of facts. “I know... I know you could. And I came prepared. If you want me dead, you can kill me. I don't mind. I just wanted to see you, one last time.” Her voice is shaking. Not from fear, but from happiness. Happy to see them. King Ghidorah, Monster Zero, the golden demise, the one that is many. King Killer. Ichi, Ni and San. She sits before them, ready to receive death. She's happy, now that she got what she wanted. Seeing them, talking to them. Letting them know that her love for them was so strong, that she is willing to die at their claws if it makes them happy.

Ghidorah lies down on the ground, placing his three heads in front of the human before them. “Know this. If you leave us again, then we WILL kill you. Understood?” Eva looks up at Ichi. Even though he just threatened her, he didn't say it with as much malice as he normally would. He even smirked a little. “You better stay. Or WE will come find you this time!” Ni snarls, but the sound that came from him was more a purr than a growl. “We missed you.” San licked her carefully and purred even louder.

A few hours later, the ship was still there, the crew watched Ghidorah emerge from his cave again and approaching them. Did he kill her after all? Is he coming for them next? King Ghidorah growls at them, but the middle head reaches down once more. On his head? The woman. And she looks very much alive. She waves and shouts at them. “Thank you for helping me! I'll be staying here now. But maybe you can do me another favor? I'll be needing some necessities. Food, clothes, shelter and all that. You got a tent on there somewhere?”

What a strange request. A human, living among Kaiju? No human was ever allowed to step foot on this island. But this was good. With Eva living on Monster Island and with Ghidorah as her protector, they could study them even better. What's the cost of food, clothing and some electronics and everything she asks for in return for such valuable information? She even promised to help them study Ghidorah more, if he doesn't kill her. As long as they swear not to harm him in any way or use the information against him. So they hook her up with everything she needs. They built a new Monarch outpost near the island, nothing too big and send a small boat towards the island once a week to bring their new 'co-worker' everything she needs. At first she got a big tent that was placed inside the cave. Then Ghidorah allowed some humans to bring containers, to make a makeshift house inside his cave, so Eva could be warm during winter. But they were still cautious. They learned pretty quickly that Monster Zero only allows them near him as long as Eva was there as well. If she wasn't, he would revert back to his old behavior and attack any human vessel coming closer. But they can work with that. And the things they learned was important to them, to understand titans and help the world understand and live with them peacefully. Especially the weekly reports they received from Eva about what Ghidorah was up to, how he interacted with other titans, even Godzilla himself. Which they noticed, would apparently come and check up on the dragon. They learned that Godzilla seemed very surprised to find a human with Ghidorah. Eva also managed to snap some really interesting photos on that island. Of kaiju sub-species they haven't seen before and even selfies with Ghidorah AND Godzilla in the background. Even better when she send them photos of Rodan, who came to visit and Mothra as well. Knowing titans act so human like to visit each other and talk like friends was just... funny.

Read part 1 here- https://archangeldraws.tumblr.com/post/649687984452648960/reunion

(Eva is my human OC)

Do not repost my stuff

[rest-upon-the-morning-light]

JonMartin fic

So I’m trying to get back into fic writing, especially for TMA, and have a multi chapter fic planned but wanted to start with a smaller one shot style fic to warm up. It’s been an age since I’ve written anything, much less something that wasn’t just reader based or smut lmao. I’ve added trigger warnings but if I missed any do let me know! 

Any feedback would be great and if you like this, please send me prompts! Happy to write anything from fluff to smut, just as long as its TMA based :D 

So! Here is my cute fluff JonMartin fic! Enjoy~ 

Everybody Wants To Be A Cat 

Word Count: 2240 

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Animal Abuse, but nothing to graphic. Anxiety. Self Worth Issues. Season 1 Jon being Season 1 Jon. Season 1 Martin being Season 1 Martin.

Fandom: The Magnus Archive

Pairings: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood 

Summary: Martin was certain of two things. One, he had an enormous crush on his boss. Two, his boss hated him. Who knew a one eyed beast of an alley cat would bring them closer?

Martin Blackwood has two problems.

Problem number one. He was absolutely certain he was more than a little bit in love with his boss.

Problem number two. His was absolutely certain said boss hated him.

 Well, hated was probably a strong word. Hated implied that Jon thought of him at all, and it was far more likely that Jon thought of him very little throughout his day. Except, of course, when Martin did something wrong. Then those piercing eyes of his would be solely fixed on him whilst he shouted about how inept Martin was or how stupid his mistake had been.

It hurt, those moments. It hurt that the only time Jon ever truly seemed to see Martin was when he was angry at him. Not when Martin did an amazing follow up on a statement. Not when he’d created a great rapport with a statement giver or their family. Not when he brought Jon tea. Just when he did something wrong.

It was a running theme in this annoyance Martin called his life.

He still couldn’t help these feelings though. Jon was an arse half the time that much was true. It infuriated Tim to know end when Jon would lash out at Martin. “He has no right Martin. Mistake or not he’s your boss, he’s supposed to help you, not act like a massive dick all the time”

It was harder for Tim and Sasha in a way. They’d been Jon’s equal for a long time, working together. Moving to the Archive was always going to be a bit of a challenge. To have friend become boss. Especially for Sasha, who everyone thought was going to be become Head Archivist. But neither had held any real resentment over Jon for the change. After all, it wasn’t his choice, it was Elias’s.

But Jon’s sudden shift from rude but mostly recluse and occasionally friendly colleague to rude very recluse and stick constantly up arse boss was harder than any of them expected.

Martin could understand. It was big position and Jon seemed like the type to take everything he did very seriously. This meant holding everything in the archive to a high standard. His assistance included.

So yes, Jon was awful to him a lot of the time. But he was passionate. He cared. For all his blustering that none of this was real, Martin could see how much he empathised with the people who had given those statements. How he looked like he’d personally failed them when a follow up revealed they had died not longer after they’d come to visit the institute.

His crush probably wasn’t the most healthy but sue him! He liked being a bit in love. He liked having inspiration for his poetry. He enjoyed the fluttery feeling in his stomach when he came into work.

He just wished Jon didn’t quite hate. No. Didn’t quite dislike him so much.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a cat that has been hiding the alleyway behind the Institute for several days now.

Martin noticed the poor thing when he’d been taking out some rubbish that accumulated in the Archive. Usually that sort of thing wasn’t his job, but he’d been done for the day anyway and he liked to be useful, even if no one really noticed.

It was a mangy young thing. Light brown fur matted, one eye seemed to be damaged and it hissed every time Martin so much as approached it.

He couldn’t just leave it though. Poor thing needed help. It was out here, lonely, forgotten, damaged by the people that probably at one point said they’d love and protect it.

Was he projecting onto a stray cat now? God this was a new level of sad.

So he did what someone in his position did best. He researched.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a surprising number of places to buy cat supplies near the Institute and the workers in the shop were incredibly helpful with his questions.

Approach slowly. Don’t try to touch or hold the cat. Leave out food and water. He’d also bought a small plastic hut and shoved a warm blanket inside for the large cat. He didn’t know what breed it was. Just that it was grumpy and hurt.

It didn’t take a great deal away from his own funds either. His job paid well enough and he didn’t exactly go out with people very often, buying expensive drinks or tickets to shows.

His special treat was usually some sugar drenched coffee.

He couldn’t see any physical injuries on the cat, apart from its eye, so he put some treats in the hut, left out the food and water, then left.

He came back everyday with more supplies to keep the large growling cat comfortable. Every day that passed the cat came a little bit closer to him. He grinned at that. Hoping one day it would come close enough to pet.

He’d read somewhere that when cats blink, once and slow, it was a sign that they trusted you. Martin waited for that day with bated breath.

Tim and Sasha were a little bit suspicious as to where he was going on his lunch breaks. He told them he just taking a long walk, getting some fresh air away from the dusty old archives but he knew it wasn’t the best lie.

Lying for the sake of his job was one thing. Lying to his friends for no good reason was another.

It wasn’t like he doing anything bad. It was more that he wanted this for himself. He wasn’t even too sure why. Part of him wondered if he was worried the cat would somehow take some natural liking to either one of them or both. He didn’t want to lose all his hard work.

Or, if he was being more honest with himself, he didn’t want the cat to abandon him for someone better.

Yeah. New level of pathetic had been reached.

But one lunch, a few weeks after he’d first spotted the broken but massive feline, that the lying and the ill feeling became absolutely worth it.

Because the cat approached him.

Martin didn’t move a single muscle. He was sat on a small wooden box in the alley. Far enough away as to not frighten the poor thing, but close enough that the cat could make contact if it wanted to.

And today it did.

He held his breath the closer it got, keeping eye contact with its good eye the whole time. It paused for a moment, right in the front of his bent legs, before it let out a small mirp noise and butted its head against his knee.

“Oh hello” Martin laughed, chest feeling lighter than it had in an exceptionally long time.

He reached out his hand slowly to pet its head and let out another sign of relief when the one eyed cat let him.

“Well” he began

“I can’t very well keep calling you cat or beast in my head, you’ll need a name”.

It didn’t acknowledge his words in any way, just continued to let him scratch behind its ears and watched him with its one working eye. He could almost imagine its thoughts.

“Silly Martin, just come up with one already. Stop wasting time”.

He let out a soft chuckle at the thought, a name ready on his lips.

“Jon” he smiled gently.

“I think I’ll call you Jon”.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 It went well after that. Martin made plans to keep the cat. It would help the dreariness of his lonely flat, and he was lucky his landlord allowed pets in his building.

He couldn’t afford proper insurance but the workers at the pet shop knew an emergency vet that wasn’t too expensive, so he could get Cat Jon’s eye checked out soon.

Giddy as he was with his newfound friend, he didn’t realise that he’d been less subtle than usual about where he was going on his break.

It was one grey, wet Wednesday that it all came to ahead.

He’d been sitting crossed legged on the ground, his coat below him as a sort of makeshift blanket to keep his trousers dry, when Human Jon found them.

He hadn’t even noticed Jon had followed him until the backdoor that led the alley burst open with a bang that echoed down the narrow way.

“Martin” shouted Jon, looking at some papers in his hand.

“I need you to take your lunch late and follow up on this report. You made several errors in your research that, frankly, a child could spot. I don’t know what you’re doing out here but if you have time to sit around then –“

Jon’s rant was cut short as he finally looked up to the picture that greeted him.

Cat Jon had leaped into his arms from the loud noise, clinging to Martin’s bright yellow sweater.

Martin froze, cat in arms as Jon stared at him with a look of equal shock.

“Oh” began Jon softly

“Sorry” Martin practically shouted.

“I – eh – this is, well um, a cat, I found? A few weeks ago, actually. I’ve been sort of taking care of it? Getting it food and water and um” he gestured to the plastic hut and blanket he’d laid out.

“He was hurt you see. Only one eye and really badly taken care of. Abandoned, I recon. So I’ve been out here on lunches making sure he’s, um, that he’s okay? Is that..is that alright?” he trailed off nervously.

He couldn’t look at Jon. It wasn’t exactly something to be ashamed of, taking care of a stray cat. But he could imagine Jon being the sort of serious no nonsense person who would see it as a waste of time, his lunch break or not. God would this make his relationship worse? Would Jon scold him for it? Did it make him seem more pathetic than before? Christ, was that even possible?

He didn’t notice the movement until Jon was sat beside him on the floor.

Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, sat on a dirty alley floor with Martin K Blackwood.

He watched with bated breath as Human Jon reached his hand out to Cat Jon and let out a small sound of relief when Cat Jon didn’t bite, scratch or run away.

“You poor thing” murmured Jon, eyes only on his (unknowing) cat counterpart.

“What have they done to you? Well, you look better now than you probably did before. Thank to our Martin here”.

Martin couldn’t help but blush deeply at that. Hot all over his face. He couldn’t handle this. Jon being all, all soft and gentle and calling him “our” Martin.

“You’ve been taking care of him then?” Jon looked up at Martin now. Eyes soft and kind for once. It nearly took all of Martins brain power to respond after receiving such a look.

“Yes” he began.

“Like I said, I found him a few weeks ago. Planning on taking him back to mine soon, get him out of the cold properly”.

Jon nodded, eyes never leaving Martins, hand firmly petting the cat in Martins arms.

“I’m sorry, about the work” Martin nervously bit his lip.

“I’ve been really worried about him so I rushed it to get out here on time. It’s no excuse and I know you don’t exactly think highly of my work in the first place. I’ll make sure I stay late tonight so I can catch up”

“Martin” interrupted Jon, eye straying on the bitten lip, a slight flush to his cheeks.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I haven’t been fair to you these past few months. It’s been unprofessional at best and, well, and downright cruel at worst”

“Your job is stressful” Martin tried to defend

“And we both know I’m not exactly at the same standard at the others”

“Still” Jon continued.

“It’s my job to help you, not, berate you at every mistake. You came from the library, not research, so you have different skill set and – well, its been hard for us all. Not fair of me to put all that blame on you. God knows Tim could stand to be a bit more professional at times” Jon grumbled out the last part, a small pout to his lips.

Martin laughed at that, smiling wider than he could last remember.

“Tim just likes to keep you human, I think” he winked and watched with fascination as the flush came back to Jon’s dark cheeks.

Cat Jon leap out of his arms after that, toddling off to who knows where.

“Well” Martin began, getting up from his cross legged position on the floor.

“We still have time for lunch, we could, um, maybe eat together? If that’s okay I mean! You could help me figure out a name for him?” “You don’t have one already?” replied Jon, surprise in his voice “Uhhh not any suitable ones, no” Martin laughed awkwardly.

He couldn’t exactly say he’d name the poor blighter after Jon. He doubted Jon would take it as a compliment and he didn’t want to ruin whatever fragile peace they’d stumbled onto.

He held out his hand to help Jon off the floor. Jon eyed it, before bringing his own hand up and placing it into Martins larger ones. Martin pulled him up and held back a small gasp as Jon shot forward quicker than intended, his smaller hand landing on Martin chest.

Jon looked up at him, a small shy smile gracing his lips.

“Beautiful” Martin couldn’t help but think, face and ears bright red.

Jon pulled back, coughing every so slightly into his fist.

“Yes, well, I’ve named a cat or two in my time, it won’t be too hard” “Oh?” teased Martin

“What about Magnus? We did find him here” Jon shook his head at that, crinkling his nose slightly.

“Absolutely not, something more dignified. The Captain maybe?” “Captain?” countered Martin

“The Captain” continued Jon as they began to head back inside

“I suppose the one eye does give him a bit of a pirate look” Martin couldn’t help by laugh slightly as he said it.

“Yes” Jon laughed back

“Dignified but still fitting his nature” And off they went, back into the Institute. Unaware of any monstrous eyes watching them as they simply watched each other. A new, wonderful feeling developing between them.

Neither noticed that they still held each others hands as they made their way to the break room.

And if they spoke of cat names, and toys and flushed deeply when they did notice the hands still entwined, well.

Those moments were only for them.

[astranne]

Miraculous and The Light (HC)

Ok, so. This HC is based on this idea. It’s a miraculous x dc crossover and one of the best ideas, I’ve read recently. I really liked it and this is why I’m forcing myself to write my ideas down. 

Before we start the HC, I need to clear some things. Marinette becomes the guardian in age of 13, the kwami are teaching her as good as they can. Luka has the snake miraculous, Chloé the bee (but new costume), Kagami the dragon (again new costume) and Adrien is Chat Noir. Alix has the bunny and Kim the ape miraculous. (The two are chaos and they smelled Lila’s bullshit before she came back the second time). They deal with Hawkmoth as good as they can and they do good. Until Lila does her shit again. She manipulates Alya, which leads also Nino to be one of her followers and since Adrien is his best friend, he starts to listen to Lila. He becomes obsessed with Ladybug and her identity. The team doesn’t really notice, since it’s subtle and slowly becoming worse. So, now let’s start with the HC.

The Team protects Paris, Marinette is the leader

The situation becomes worse, the akumas take longer to defeat

They try to contact the JL, but nobody listens

And Chat Noir comes lesser to the fights, claiming his privat life is stressfull

At first, everybody understands, but it doesn’t stop and Chat becomes like a bad behaved child/brat 

Lila causes another Hero Day, the Team almost looses. Chat Noir didn’t show up and the Team is angry. Chloé is ready to skin a cat

After the Hero Day, they accidentally reveal their idtities. Their group becomes closer, everybody can see, they work even better now. 

Chat is envy

And Tikki is angry. No, scratch that. She’s mad. This boy could’ve been such a good cat, and now this?! 

Since Plagg is her opposite, and she’s the one of Plagg, they keep each other in balance. And they aren’t in balance at all. She takes over Marinette (while she is Ladybug) and starts to rip Chat/Adrien in shreds

Whole Paris witness this and is terrified. Who knew Ladybug had such power? 

Chat tries to save his face/life/’hero’ persona, but since Marinette is the guardian, she stripps him of his Miraculous, while Tikki wipes out his memories. Adrien’s former friends are sad, but also glad, they have one problem less

But now. Since Tikki used her more of her powers, some people notice, such as Klarion. He’s the server of chaos, but keeps in balance with creation. And the two aren’t balanced at all.

He talks to the Light, and surprise, surprise. Ra’s al Ghul and Vendal Savage felt it too

They begin to search and are surprised, that so many miraculous are active. The Light digs deeper and Vendal is very close getting up and burn Paris down. And take Hawkmoth with it

The inner circle of the Light (Vendal Savage, Klarion, Ra’s al Ghul, Lex Luthor, Deathstroke (there are still more members, but I will explain shortly))

Now, their primar goal is not to take over the world, or make everyone ‘see the light’. That’s what the ‘lesser’ members think (the ones, who are not in the inner circle) They want to keep the balance in the world, keep ‘peace’. But they know, it can’t be always peace, with creation there comes always destruction (Tikki and Plagg are totally their inspiration and mentors or whatever you could call that) And for this, they don’t always do ‘good’ things, like heroes do

Bc of this, every hero, every other villian thinks, that the light is bad. It’s a very good cover and so they can hide their true plans. So, the inner circle sends Black Manta after the Young Justice (the season 2 happens here) and go to Paris. 

They find the miraculous users while fighting an amok and an akuma and are impressed. Clearly, most of them have no training and they hold themself formidable. 

The inner circle talks with the team, which is wary. But then the kwamis recognize them and the teenagers (probably 15?) are so glad, that they finally have help. Not the one they expected, but still help

Vendal was one the first guardian, a simple man and then blessed by Tikki and Plagg. He trained other guardians and miraculous users until he almost died

Ra’s al Ghul was once a dragon, but also used the cat miraculous. This is the reason, why he can use the lazarus pit and isn’t mad

Klarion knows about the kwamis, the first gods, often makes rituals and such stuff. But he never saw a miraculous before

Deathstroke knows about the miraculous, but never knew, what power they truly hold

Lex Luthor knew about them too

The team is offered a traditional training with the League and since they are all true holders, they will master it faster than anyone before. Vendal wants to train Marinette as the guardian, after she finished hers with Ra’s. Deathstroke will be their mentor and Klarion will teach them in magic. 

Lex takes them under his wing, teaching them about buisness, money, politics and manipulating

They train and fight Hawkmoth for two years. Sometimes, Vendal takes over as Chat Noir, sometimes Ra’s, to keep Marinette and Tikki balanced. But they need to find her true holder, which isn’t that easy, while they are still in training and fighting

The team is around 17/18, when they finally defeat Hawkmoth and Mayura. The major of Paris and the president of France tell the world finally the truth about the situation (world is shocked (especially when they hear, that the Justice League didn’t help))

Now, the heroes want to help, after Wonder Woman, Aquaman and Dr. Fate, as well Zatanna, kicked their asses for being dumb bitches. When Batman doesn’t stop (he’s an ass sometimes, but I don’t hate him) they threaten to leave the JL. He doesn’t belive it and suddendly he has 4 members less. 

The four go to Paris, even when there is a heroes ban. They offer their alliance, but keep their distance, which everyone is glad. 

Since Hawkmoth and his sidechick have been defeated, the Miraculous Team retires. Or so everybody thinks. 

They all leave Paris, letting their friends and family think they have a job/go on vacation (Kagami and Luka fake their death, Marinette too) 

Lila is smug, bc she thinks, she won, since Alix and Kim just leave and Chloé is a weeping mess

The six go to the League, where they learn new/more things and become the elite squad of Ra’s. 

(Ra’s is totally a proud parent, who shows, how much his kids are better than anyones. Well, as good as he can with his stoic face)

The six still use their miraculous, but have new costumes (darker colors, mostly black) 

And so life goes on, until the JL and the YJ attack the light. They take many hits, loose many bases and the first time, the heroes meet the squad

The six are just called ‘the squad’. They switch miraculous, so the heroes don’t make connections. 

(Marinette is White (rabbit), while Chloé is Red (dragon), Kagami is Brown (monkey), Alix is Blue (snake), Kim is Scarlett (ladybug), Luka is Black (cat)) Over their costumes, they wear a typical League uniform. 

They totally rip the heroes apart

Anyway. The JL and YJ are wary about the sqaud, they all know, they are deadly. Some think, even deadlier than Deathstroke. 

After the attack, the squad meets Lady Shiva and Talia al Ghul

And her new pet project

You already know it. Jason Todd

His mind is fucked up, he doesn’t remember much until this woman in red smiles at him and just hugs him? Girl, this is the league?! 

Jason is totally Marinette’s black cat. 

He’s suddenly being trained (can you imagine a confused Jason Todd, trained by Vendal, Klarion and the rest of the team? Bc I do) and partnered with Plagg, who absolutly loves his new holder. There is so much chaos in him, he even survived the pit!

The squad goes on mission, mostly to mess with the JL, who notice, there is a new member. And oh shit- he destroys everything. And there Superman curmbles to ash... (no worries, he’s brought back)

Jason isn’t trying to kill Bruce, well, he still fights against Batman, but he doesn’t want him dead (the heroes think, the squad tries to kill them)

Some years pass (I have no idea, what happens in season 3 (Young Justice) since I didn’t have the time to watch it) the miraculous slowly become balanced again and the team is doing great

Until Talia snitches Bruce (bc she’s a little bitch) that Jason is alive. Not only that, he’s a part of the squad. Ra’s personally tries to kill his daughter- bc no Talia! You can’t just go and tell secrets! (silently crusing in many languages about the balance and how his own daughter betrayes him) He’s so angry, that he disowns his daughter and claims 7 year old Damian as his heir.

Bruce tries to hunt Jason down, but no success

Marinette takes Damian under her wing and gives him the miraculous of the tiger (Damian is so proud, that he’s a true holder). She and Jason become somewhat his parents, just like the rest of the team

Alix and Kim are totally together, as well Cloé and Kagami, while Luka has a on/off relationship with Lady Shiva, who is the true holder to the fox miraculous

Talia attacks the league, when Damian is 10 and takes him to his father

Damian hides the miraculous and Roarr, but Alfred knows. He always knows. (Totally cliche, but he’s the true holder to the peacock)

Damian acts like a brat like in canon, but can be such a softy

But only with his true family

Jason moves to Gotham, becomes the Red Hood, while Marinette becomes Scarlett (his partner) 

The rest of the squad starts to recruit new holders and start to train them, often visited by Jason and Marinette

One tragic night, Batman fights against Red Hood, almost kills him, when Scarlett breaks his arm. Robin (Damian) comes to help, freezes, when he sees his family. He stops fighting, takes a deep breath and turns to his father.

Batman is confused, but then Robin says, that this is Jason, the second Robin and that he will not fight family

Batman lashes out, being an idiot, talking some nonsense about Jason being a criminal and suddenly Robin disapears. The big bat thinks, his kid went home 

Well, he does, but not the Manor. He follows Jason and Marinette and sleeps a night there. 

Then his father starts to search him (Damian) and finds him with Jason

Totally a fight there

Until Alfred comes and makes them to sit down and talk

Jason explains everything, telling Bruce, that the squad doesn’t exist anymore, bc of Talia.

He causally says, that Marinette is his girlfriend, that they somewhat adopted Damian, after Talia was banned.

Bruce tries to wrap his head around this, but slowly accept this new part of his family

It takes some time, but Jason (Red Hood) and Marinette (Scarlett) become a part of the Batfam

They lead the new Miraculous Team in secret, keep in contact with the inner circle of the light

This goes well, until Tim finds out. 

Bruce lashes out again, bc what the fuck- his own child and his wife (they married) are spying for the light?! He tought they destroyes that damned organisation

Damian runs with them

They go to Nanda Parbat, where they meet the new recruits. 

Now, every kwami has a true holder

Balance is perfect as it can be 

Two years later, Bruce still tries to find Damian, in the hope, he isn’t with his older brother and his wife

He still is

Then Ra’s has enough of this drama, talks with the inner circle of the light and the kwamis

Kidnaps the batfam

Explains everything

Like everything

Slowly the batfam understands

Bruce is so proud that two of his sons are true holders, one of them literally can control chaos

The batfam starts to help the inner circle of the light, the other members think, this heroes finally saw the light

I can totally see the lesser memebers dumbfounded faces, when the whole Batfam shows up

Vendal starts to explain

“Batman was trained under Ra’s al Ghul himself, Batwoman followed.”

“Nightwing was trained by Deathstroke.”

“Red Hood was trained by Lady Shiva, Deathstroke and Ra’s al Ghul and is a former member of the squad.”

“Scarlett was trained by myself, Ra’s al Ghul, Lady Shiva, Deathstroke and Batman. She was the leader of the squad.”

“Red Robin was trained, like all the other Robins, by Batman. Lady Shiva took him under his wing for some time.”

“Signal was trained by Batman, Red Hood and Scarlett.”

“Batgirl was trained under Batman, Nightwing and Scarlett.”

“Black Bat grew up in the League and is the daughter of Lady Shiva.”

“Robin is my grandson and the son of Batman. He was trained under Scarlett and Red Hood, when they still were in the squad.”

(Did I forget someone?)

Gaping villians

But when Vendal says, that Batman will be part of the inner circle, as well Red Hood and Scarlett. they loose their absolute shit. 

They fought the whole time with their allies??

Vendal then also says, that this will be the last meeting and they will all forget, that the Batfam is a part of the light

“Well... we can’t take risks, can’t we? We don’t want to repeat an incident with the Young Justice again... because of this, only the members of the inner circle will remember our prupose and the light itself.” 

Batman then says to the JL, that he will leave the League, since this is going nowhere

The Batfamily is now officially a hero group and more loved than the JL, bc they don’t destroy much in their fights and if they do, Bruce Wayne pays. They keep in the shadows, which means, no civilians hurt AND many villians retire, when they hear, that Batman will fully remain in Gotham. They don’t try anything, bc he always seems to know

Okay... this is much more, than I acutally wanted to write and in the end, it didn’t came out as I first thought. But I hope you still like it, bc I like this version better

And it’s in the middle of the night, so if there are any mistakes... I don’t care :)

Masterlist

[bubblesthemonsterartist]

300 followers prompt-a-thon: ObiYuki; Nightmares

Set up with the same backstory as An Economy of Suffering. Same warnings apply. Check the tags on the original if reading from a reblog.

Follows Cat in the Cradle. 

Three days.

Three days since they came. Three more they will stay.

Three days since one of those that he escaped had laid an enchantment on him, had stolen his mind, had pulled the veil from his eyes and shown him what he was. What he always had been. What he will always be.

~ ~ ~

“Obi, you need to put those away.”

His head snaps up, the wooden dowels meticulously stacked atop one another collapsing from their structure to scatter all over the empty work station. The sound goes straight through him. Hands frozen mid-air, he fixates on a single one of them as it rolls across the table, clattering loudly on stone floor. He can feel it echo all the way through his fingertips.

“Aw, Miss.” His straightens, letting his lips curl lazy and slow. “I worked hard on that.”

Her lips thin worryingly, but she turns away. “Sorry.” Her back is so straight, so prim as she packs away dried plants into little wooden boxes. “But you need to go to bed.”

He’s careful to control his breath, to let it slip out of him in measured counts rather than one shuddering gasp. Without a word, he turns back, and scoops all of the dowels up at once, then stares.

Which bin did this belong to again?

~ ~ ~

Three days. Three days since he woke with a bone deep satisfaction. Rested. Warm. Adored.

Three days since he felt like he belonged in the boundary of his own skin.

~ ~ ~

“Obi.” Her voice is clipped, sending him into a flinch. The wooden dowels clatter to the floor and he scrambles to pick them up. He’s only rescued half of them when she’s reached his side, hand stretching out and then pausing midair between them. He moves faster.

When he finishes, the smile he has painted on his face falters. Her eyes are glassy and red. “Miss…”

She blinks, whetting her lips. “I’ll finish up here.” Her voice has gone soft, too soft. “Go to your room. Rest.”

“I’m not tired,” he protests.

She takes the dowels from him carefully, not touching his skin. “I told Ryuu back in Wistal that you always tell the truth. Don’t make me a liar.”

The words lands like a blow, and he’s so raw, so on the edge, it takes everything he has to scurry out from beneath her presence. “I can’t leave you alone while the delegation is here. Lord Makiri’s orders.”

She puffs out her cheeks, and the last thing he wants to do is remind her of them, but protecting her is his job. Not the other way around. “If I go back with you, do you promise to go to bed?”

Obi’s shoulders fall. “I’ll even get under the covers and lay my head on my pillow.”

Some of that worry loses hold when her face softens in a smile, hand raised between them. “Promise.”

He swallows, throat tight, and wraps his pinky around hers. “Thousand needles in my eye.”

~ ~ ~

The sweetness didn’t stay for long. It never did. The space between sleep and thought has always been far too short. Even shorter when awareness landed on him that his face was pressed into her lap. That her- that her hands were on him.

~ ~ ~

He doesn’t want to sleep. He doesn’t mean to.

So he won’t.

Obi folds down the bedding, pulling the tight corners free from the edges of the mattress and strips off his shirt.

But he won’t make himself a liar. Not to his Miss. Not to little Ryuu. Not to anyone in this city of misfits that sought fit to place their trust in him.

So he lays down between sheet and blanket, places his head upon his pillow, and the relief is so palpable that his head spins. If only he could just keep his eyes open a little longer, he can get up. Move. Keep going without breaking his word.

~ ~ ~

It’s just the one, but it is heavy with sleep, curling itself over his shoulder, thumb absently tracing circles into his bicep. And it hurts. It hurts that he longs for something so much that it gives him pain. It hurts that even his Miss’s touch makes his heart hiss and spit, angry and vicious and scared.

~ ~ ~

It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy sleep. On the contrary, those rare moments that he manages more than a few scattered hours at a time, he becomes intimately acquainted with what it means to have peace.

The problem is-

The problem is…

Miss can always tell. She never asks, but her eyes follow him, her worry eating away at them both. One of these days his tongue was going to fly loose and bury her in his words. Tell her everything. And she wouldn’t understand what it meant to be scared to close his eyes. Who would be upset to relive memories filled with sunshine and flowers; the sound and smell of stew bubbling over in the hearth; bread in the oven; the safety of being wrapped thrice over in soft and worn blankets?

In those dreams he’s small, so small, pressed tightly between two big bodies that playfully hold him when he squirms, that whisper that they love him, that tickle his face with kisses and fill his ears with their steady heartbeats.

And then he wakes up, biting into the flesh of his palm as he relearns their absence all over again.

Those are the ones that make him never want to sleep again, that make him curse his too perfect memory and whatever god deemed it fit to give it to him. Those are the ones that bring him to the door that splits their rooms in half, shaking and needful, to bow and rest his head against solid wood until the sunlight comes and the sound of life on the other side chases the ghosts away.

He doesn’t know how to explain what happens next if he lingers in sleep too long. How he prayed for them, wished that they would come find him, wished that they would spirit him away. He doesn’t know how to explain that every time the door to his room opened or the flap of his tent pulled back, his heart had jumped, hoping it was them.

It was never them.

It was always others that came.

And they never took him home.

~ ~ ~

He can feel the magic take hold, feel the witch’s tongue wrap around his name. It’s been so long since he found his freedom and just in the space of a breath, she’s dragging him into submission. Vaguely, he can hear Miss screaming. Vaguely, he can hear her reply, reminding him he’s someone’s pet.

“It helps you see who you truly are.”

~ ~ ~

Obi claws to consciousness, gasping. In the pitch blackness of night, his heart hammering in his skull, he can see nothing. But the bed is too hard beneath him and the room too cold. When he breathes in, there is no scent of sticky perfume, only the sharpness of ice and snow. Lyrias’s unforgiving chill burns his lungs and he takes refuge in the sting.

The dream slips away before it can be fully grasped, not meant to be remembered, only to remind, and there is some kindness in that.

“Fuck,” he mutters, voice lost to the dark. He forgot to light his burner, thinking he could conquer sleep, and the room is freezing.

But his skin crawls like maggots are wriggling underneath the surface, scalp tingling as if every hair was a wire pulled tight to be plucked. Rubbing his face, blunt nails digging pink welts to flesh, Obi briefly wonders if Shikito could be summoned so he can disappear into the bath houses for a short time. This late at night, he could sit under the stream that feeds the pool until his skin sloughs off and no one would stop him.

There’s a knock at the door.

He starts, the sound knocking him out of his brain and back into his body. Blinking, chest still heaving, lungs still aching, Obi hears the soft murmured echoing of his name, and he remembers how he is meant to obey. Grabbing a shirt from the back of his chair, he mops the sweat off of his face before using it to hide the rest of him.

The warmth hits him, almost knocking him over - he did not forget to light her burner - and Miss stands on her side, the pristine white of her nightgown glowing like moonlight. She smiles at him when he opens the door, hands tucked behind her back. Her eyes are tight with concern, though, searching his face.

Shame churns in his stomach.

“I couldn’t sleep.” She says, a blatant lie. Her face is still puffy, creases of her eyes still matted with slumber.

He smiles his best smile. “Do you want me to tell you a bedtime story?”

She laughs. It is… good to hear it. “I was thinking about going for a walk.”

His brows raise towards his hairline and he glances towards her window. There are no stars, only thick and heavy clumps of snow floating towards the earth. “It’s late.”

“Not so much.”

He grants her a skeptical look.

“I suppose I could go by myself if you wanted to stay here,” she suggests.

His lips purse, annoyed, and she smiles brightly, rocking back and forth on her bare feet. Miss has been spending far, far too much time with Suzu.

He scrubs his face with his hand. “Let me change into something warmer.”

~ ~ ~

The shock of snowflakes dusting his lashes and kissing her clothes is pleasant – even more pleasant when she giggles at him when he wriggles his nose after one lands on it – but even this late at night, the scholar’s city is loud. Alcohol, sweet and fermented, is heavy in the air and without his meaning to, he steers them away from the bars and popular food vendors. A drunken party would not meet his Lordships definition of keeping the both of them ‘out of sight.’

She doesn’t seem to mind, though. Miss just yawns, a long and wide mouthed kittens yawn, and smiles dazedly at the road ahead.

His heart softens.

“Oh, Obi! The tents are back up!”

His gaze follow hers, the many shades of blue and purple and red glowing from within their peaked tops. Out of the corner of his eyes, hers are glazed and he wonders, just for a brief sting, if she is lost in memory.

She doesn’t stay there long. Miss glances up at him, lip pulled between her teeth, and tugs at his sleeve – still so careful of touching skin – before finding the vender and counting her coin. When the old man places the timer in her hand with a skeptical look in his direction, he finally finds it in his voice to protest.

“Miss,” he begins, hesitating between the rows. “I don’t-”

“I thought we could take a break,” she complains, no real bite to the words. “We’ve been walking through the snow for over an hour and my toes are numb.”

“Oh.” Had it been that long? He hadn’t noticed.

The inside the tent is lovely – made to look like lush interior of a Samese pleasure tent. Covered in ornately embroidered pillows with little bits of mirror sewn into them; colorful carpets protecting the renters from the ground; lanterns filled with shards of colored glass reflect different shades against the interior. And even though he cannot remember the dream that woke him, Obi’s stomach rolls.

“Pretty,” he says, his tongue working the word like wet sand.

“You looked… a little lost.” She’s still tugging on his sleeve, and she brings him all the way down to the plush ground. “I thought that this might be better?”

His eyes feel as wide and round as hers. “I wasn’t-” A simple glance from her reminds him of his promise and he bites his tongue. “This is… nice. Quiet.”

“Obi,” she doesn’t look at him, but her cheeks are flushed. “You know I love you, right?”

His heart reaches for his throat. He swallows it down. “Yes, Miss.”

“You know you can… talk to me? About anything?”

He doesn’t want to talk about anything. “There’s not much to talk about.”

She pinches his sleeve between her fingers. “It was the drug, wasn’t it? Or- or maybe it’s them?“ Her brain is rushing too fast, searching for a cause, and her words cannot keep up with it. It’s painful to watch her stumble over them. “You- you haven’t been… well… and I- I just want to know what you need from me.”

He huffs a toneless laugh. She deserves to know, but she deserves his honesty more. “I wonder.”

Miss pauses, pulling her lips between her teeth. “Would it be easier if I went back to not touching you?”

He stares at her for so long, so lost for words, that he sees the very moment resignation and determination both settle on her heart.

She nods. “Okay.”

“Wait.” He reaches out to her, but falls short of touching her arm. “You don’t- I haven’t…” He huffs, irritated at the words he cannot find. “We could try.”

“Try?” Miss hesitates. “Try what?”

“It depends,” he shrugs, wiping his palms against his thighs. “What would my Mistress like?”

“We-” she squirms, peaking up at him shyly. “We’ve never kissed, Obi.”

Obi presses his open palms to his knees to keep them from jostling and smiles brightly at her. He wanted- he wanted so much. And she wanted so little. It wasn’t fair how greedy he was. She had given up kingdoms, and here he was, a simple knight with no holdings about to lose his dinner at the thought of a single chaste kiss.

He looks at her from under hooded lids and lets his voice drop. “Are you going to kiss me, Miss?”

Her eyelashes flutter, pink blooming across her cheeks sweetly, and then she is shifting onto her knees in front of him, breath hitched in anticipation. “Is that… okay? Is that what you want?”

It’s been years since he’s played this game. “Only as much as my Mistress does.”

His words seem to hurt her. “Call me by my name first.”

“Shirayuki.” His heart flops like a dying fish in the cavern of his chest. “Are you going to kiss me?”

She gives him more than enough time to prepare for it, so when she leans forward, touching her mouth to his, he doesn’t flinch.

Her lips are soft, so soft against his - more sweet exploration than a request for more - but it’s a battle with his memory, the bile threatening at the back of his throat at the remembrance of the presses of other mouths. Other tongues. Other-

He forces it down. It’s just muscle memory, that’s all. He can train it out of him the same way he trained himself how to dodge, how to fight, how to smile when he wanted to do anything but. 

He tilts his mouth over her firmly, trying to blot it out.

She makes a noise in the back of her throat, encouraging, and he nearly sags in relief. Good. He’s doing… a good job.

Miss places her hands on his chest and pulls back.

“Obi,” she breathes, fingers lacing through the winkles and buttons of his coat and- his lungs are too tight. He can’t get enough air. “Are you okay? You’re shaking.”

He nods his head, trying to close the distance between them and she pulls back again. A sort of desperation, insanity even, fills him. He needs to stop. He needs to let her know that this isn’t all he has to show, that this is all he has to please her. This can’t be the only chance he’ll ever get to show her that she’s the only person he’s ever wanted to kiss.

“Obi.” She places her hand over his mouth and when he looks up into her eyes- “Don’t push yourself.”

Somewhere in his chest, what was left of his heart crumbles to dust.

“Ah Miss.” It strikes him all at once, the realization that makes his eyes sting and turns his laugh bitter. “I’m so sorry. I think they broke me.”

“No, no,” she whispers, fierce. “It’s my fault. If we’re going too fast-”

He blinks rapidly, looking towards the canopy and its little embroidered animals in black and red. “It is such a lovely night. It’s a shame I woke you.”

She’s silent after that, settling down next to him, and the sand continues to count each second. When it runs out, this brief little dream of his will be over. He can’t expect her to stay, not when he can’t bring himself to give so little. He only hopes- he only hopes that she will let him sit by her side just a little longer, just like Master did.

Delicate, cool fingers slide over the heel of his palm. He looks down, startled, and her fingers slip between his.

“This?” Her grip is loose. A baby could escape it. “Is this okay?”

His skin feels tight, it crawls. But not as much as it feels… good. To have someone hold him. Even in such a small way.

It’s all he had ever wanted, all these years later.

Without a word, his fingers press tightly to hers, and she breathes out a sigh of relief. He doesn’t want to ask, but he has to. “It is enough?”

Miss stares up at him, searching. “You’ve always been enough.”

His smile feels brittle on his own lips.

“Obi.” This time, his voice doesn’t flinch at the sound of his name, even though the same steel rests in her voice as just a few hours ago. “You’ve waited for me. I’ll wait for you, too.”

His face goes numb, but for a minute, just for one, he thinks that everything might be alright.