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a-casual-egg · 2 years

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Barnaby and Edvard go on a heist and it got out of hand and gay and Eleanor is too

——

Edvard flips through a big book before slamming it shut. He's halfway through his giant stack of books. He thought he'd finally get through his "to read" reading list but he underestimated how tall the stack had become. Edvard tiredly grabs the next book as he hears footsteps coming toward him.

Barnaby leans against the door frame and smiles softly, like he's just gone out drinking and has come back and is still very much drunk. That seems to be the case as Barnaby casually slumps down in a chair next to Barnaby and lays his head and arms on the table all Edvard's already books lay.

"Hello Barnaby" Edvard greets absentmindedly while flipping a page in another book. Barnaby mumbles a hello in response.

Barnaby picks up one of the smaller books and reads the title, "Snakes: Fun & Interesting Facts".

"Didn't know you liked snakes, old chap."

"Hm, oh yes, I find them quite interesting." Edvard says, taking notice of Barnaby opening the book and seemingly starting to read it.

They sit in a comfortable silence for a while. Barnaby not bothering Edvard with his stupid thoughts. Edvard finishes a chapter on cyanide and starts the next chapter, arsenic. Edvard hears cat-like snoring and reaches out and pets the cat while reading the first paragraph on arsenic. Edvard sits like that for several more chapters, petting the cat's soft fur as it snores gently. It's nice, Edvard could get used to this him, a nice book by lamplight, a dozing, soft, cat, . . . oh and Barnaby . . . wait Barnaby was reading a book next to him and Edvard didn't hear him leave and Eleanor doesn't have a cat . . . .

Edvard looks down to see what he's actually petting to find his fingers are tangled in Barnaby's hair. Edvard doesn't pull his hand away for a moment instead slightly in awe of how soft Barnaby is and how much his snores sound like a cat's. Edvard leans over to see how far Barnaby got in the book, the book is turned to a page halfway through. Edvard also gets to see Barnaby asleep. He looks so at peace, he almost looks beautiful, almost.

Edvard also gets to see Barnaby stir a little and sees his eyes very delicately flutter open. Barnaby's eyes slowly look up at Edvard. When their eyes meet Barnaby smiles warmly and Edvard feels his cheeks heat up.

“Hello, old boy.”

“H-hello”

Barnaby tiredly pushes himself up and stretches his arms out to the ceiling. Edvard’s eyes follow Barnaby’s soft-looking hands up toward the ceiling and back down towards the table, picking up the book on snakes again. Barnaby’s rings glint slightly in the light from the lamp on the table.

Barnaby flips the page casually before asking “Was I out for long?”

“Hm, you mean out drinking?”

“Actually old boy, I mean how long was I asleep for.”

“Oh, wel-”

“But now that you mention it,”

“What?”

“Did you miss me?” Barnaby asks, smiling again.

“Shut up, it’s not like I waited diligently for you to return.” Edvard retorts, turning away from Barnaby.

Barnaby laughs before leaning his head into one of his hands and watching Edvard with a soft smile.

A hand is placed on both Barnaby and Edvard’s shoulders, which Edvard assumes is Barnaby but he turns to look at him and see Barnaby seems to think it was Edvard grabbing his shoulder. They look at each other for a second before screaming and grabbing the other for comfort.

Eleanor laughs a little initially before realizing Barnaby is still screaming. Edvard after seeing who it was stopped but now he’s just looking at Barnaby, who has his eyes closed shut, unimpressed. Edvard and Eleanor exchange looks and stand and sit there awkwardly unsure if they should wait for his screaming to die out or to stop him themselves.

“Ah, uh, Barnaby, it’s just me” Eleanor says trying to get the taller man to stop screaming.

Barnaby blinks his eyes open, “ah, well, hello Eleanor” Barnaby replies looking anywhere but the eyes of Eleanor and Edvard.

“Yes, hello, I have something to ask of you two, if you’re not too busy with you’re . . .” Eleanor trails off, unable to find the right word for what’s in front of her and pointing her finger between the two men and the fact they’re still clinging to each other.

Edvard pulls away first then Barnaby as he understands what Eleanor is pointing about. Edvard coughs into his hand and then runs his hand through his already messy hair. Meanwhile Barnaby somewhat nervously fidgets with the rings on his fingers.

“N-nothing’s happening, what do you need Eleanor?” Edvard asks, also avoiding everyone else’s eyes.

“Well, I need you to recover a pair of rings from someone who definitely shouldn’t have them to say the least.”

“Magic rings? What do they do? Is one have fire magic and the other ice magic? Or-”

“Heh, well I admire your inquisitive mind Edvard, but no nothing like that, they’re, well, they’re mine.”

Barnaby and Edvard look at each other in shock and confusion before back at Eleanor who’s covering her hand with her mouth.

“How do you lose a ring, specifically how do you lose a ring so badly that you need us to go on a heist for it?” Barnaby asks.

“Let’s just say some things happened and it’s not really your business.”

“Well, a lot of things are my business, mainly property, but fair.”

Edvard takes out his notepad and pen, “well, what do these rings look like?”

—

Eleanor meticulously adjusts Baranby's collar and jacket, it's something a maid would do when he was a child before he would go to some incredibly boring event with his family. Eleanor's far from a maid though, more like a possible mentor figure. Eleanor then takes Barnaby's head in her hands and presses their foreheads together.

"Barnaby, I understand you don't tend to take these heists that seriously. However, I need you to take this one seriously. You and Edvard have to work together. Do you understand?". Eleanor whispers to Barnaby. Barnaby hesitantly nods in response.

Eleanor nods, "Good.".

Eleanor then goes over to talk to Edvard. She takes Edvard's hand and squeezes it to reassure him as if he's worried about something. Is he? What would he be worried about? He's been on a bunch of heists before. Is it because of Barnaby? Is Barnaby worrying him?

Somehow Edvard notices that he's being looked at and turns to look at Barnaby. Edvard raises an eyebrow as their eyes connect. Barnaby very quickly looks back down and starts to fiddle with his outfit to pretend as if he wasn't just watching Edvard.

Barnaby gingerly touches his collar then looks back at Eleanor. She's gently pushing some of Edvard's hair behind his ear. She looks nurturing, like a mom. Oh. Barnaby touches the spots of his coat collar Eleanor touched. Fixing someone's collar or outfit is something a mother does. Does she view them as son figures or does she do this with everyone?

—

Edvard and Barnaby step through large gilded doors and down a very long hallway. Barnaby smiles with his stupid charming smile and waves to people and people smile and wave at him. Edvard, however, is making a beeline for somewhere where's there not stupid fancy stuck-up rich people. Preferably where the rings there supposed to get are located as well.

"And where do you think you're going?"

Edvard whirls around to see a taller woman petting the head of her fox fur scarf and leaning against a wall. She smiles a charming smile as she walks toward Edvard. Edvard guesses she's probably six feet tall as she leans down and looks at Edvard and smiles again.

"J-just going on a walk. Why? You got a problem with that?" Edvard stammers.

"Hm, no, I have no problem with that. Especially since you're a much needed distraction." The lady holds out her hand for Edvard to kiss, "I'm Angel. My name's Angel, not "the Angel in the House". I'm far too powerful and in control to be one of those women."

Edvard awkwardly smiles as he tries to find a good time to get out of this conversation.

As he tentatively takes a step away he says "yes, well I really must be going-" However he's interrupted by a fox being wrapped around him and him being pulled closer to Angel. Edvard accidentally inhales some of the fox's fur and coughs it up but Angel either somehow doesn't notice or doesn't care.

"Oh, no, no, you can't leave so soon! I still need you as my distraction! And you wouldn't want to uspet Caspar would you?"

"Caspar?"

"Caspar is this little guy" Angel answers while moving one of the fox's paws to mimic the fox waving hello.

"Ah"

"Now, shall we dance?"

"What?!" Edvard asks, trying to scan Angel's face for a tell that she's joking but he can't find one.

"A dance silly, that thing where you move your body in tune with music. Don't tell me you don't know what dancing is." Angel punctuates the last sentence with a giggle.

"I know what a dance is!" Edvard protests.

Angel giggles again, "good! Then you'll know exactly how you're supposed to hold me during a waltz!"

"Wait, wha-" is all Edvard gets out of his mouth as he's yanked toward and into a ballroom.

—

"Well, shall we see you at the tour?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way Ms.Scarlett." Barnaby says before kissing Ms.Scarlett's scarlet-colored gloved hand. Ms.Scarlett laughs excitedly from the whole goodbye and Barnaby departs.

Barnaby continues down a hallway for a bit before turning to Edvard to ask in which direction Eleanor's rings would be. However, Edvard is nowhere to be found. Barnaby looks around for a short man with an even shorter temper in a well-fitting red suit to no avail.

Barnaby feels a tap on his shoulder and he turns his head to see the tapper. She's shorter woman, maybe around the same height as Edvard, maybe even shorter. Her hair is also short with some of it tucked behind one ear and she's wearing a well-fitting red dress.

"Sorry to interrupt your searching for . . . whatever you're looking for but have you seen a tall woman, around your height, with a stuffed fox wrapped around her shoulders?"

"I sadly have not, and I assume you haven't seen a short man, around your height, in a red suit?"

"No."

"That's a shame. You know, since we're both looking for someone, how about we look together?" Barnaby offers before outstretching his hand to her.

The woman pauses for a moment but takes Barnaby's hand, "Alright. I'm Minerva by the way."

"Barnaby."

They intertwine their fingers before heading off down a hallway.

—

Angel spins Edvard around again before asking, "so, you never told me your name."

"You never asked."

Angel giggles before smiling softly, "alright, well, what is your name then?"

"It's Edvard."

"Well, Edvard, tell me, what are your hobbies?"

"Hm, science I suppose, I would say innoventing but that's more so my job."

"Aw, how cute, science is one of my girlfriend's hobbies as well."

Angel smiles like she didn't just drop a major twist on his head.

"Wait, girlfriend?"

"Yes, sadly, she and I had an awful fight around the time we arrived so she probably won't be wanting to see me right now."

"Oh, is that why you're dancing with me instead of her?"

"Yes sadly, no offense to you obviously but it's just not the same without her."

They spin around again and Edvard offers an apology but Angel is stubborn in her belief that she deserves this treatment from her girlfriend for how she acted earlier. They start chatting about other things as they hear two people arguing.

—

Barnaby swings Minerva and his arms slightly as they walk down another hallway.

"So, Minerva"

"Yes?"

"Can I call you Minnie? As a nickname."

"Only one person can call me Minnie and that'a my girlfriend."

"How cute, how about Nerva?"

"Nerva works."

Minerva starts swinging her arm with Barnaby's as they walk. It elicits laughs from both of them and looks from other people, most of the people looling probably just think they're a couple that's being silly while others might think they're being very unsophisticated. Normally Barnaby would instantly correct his behavior due to reputation but to be honest he's been having a drink from every passing platter the waiters were bringing around before he met Minerva.

He's been drinking so much that the fox has decided to pop again. Except this time it's laying on a woman's shoulders and looks asleep . . . or dead. Oh! Oh! Nerva was looking for a woman with a fox wrapped around her shoulders! He turns to tell Nerva but she's already seen the fox and the woman.

She squints slightly and mutters "who is that guy?"

Barnaby looks back in the direction of the fox woman and sees her spin around again and immediately recognizes the man she's dancing with.

"Edvard?" Barnaby asks to no one in particular.

"Edvard, huh?"

Barnaby nods and Nerva pats her pocket reassuringly. Barnaby gives her a quizzical look and she's about to tell him not to worry about it but before she can someone in the ballroom punches someone else. Then the punched person punches the puncher back before it escalates to a full-out brawl with other people getting involved.

Angel and Edvard rush out of the ballroom and into Minverva and Barnaby. Edvard looks at Barnaby then back to the ballroom and the growing number of people in there. More and more security officers rush past them. One of the security officers bumps into Edvard and Edvard stumbles into Barnaby.

Edvard looks up at Barnaby who smiles warmly. Edvard pushes Barnaby away and crosses his arms over his chest. Practically everyone can see the blush on his face. Minerva and Angel share a knowing look.

"Anyway, we better go get those rings." Barnaby says.

"rings?" Angel asks, "oh, Minnie they're stealing rings, how romantic!"

"Stealing?! Oh, No! No!" Edvard stammers.

Angel giggles before saying, "Edvard's a riot we should invite him back to the manor for tea sometime." to Minerva.

Minerva glares at Edvard for a second before turning to Barnaby, "So, Barnaby"

"Yes?"

"About these rings."

"Ah, yes, we were enlisted by a very nice woman to get her rings back for her."

"Ah, you know where they are?"

"Well yes of course, Ms.Scarlett is quite the gossiper."

"Well then let's go get those rings." Minerva says as she takes Angel's hand and Edvard grabs Barnaby's hand.

Edvard practically drags Barnaby around while he tells him directions to where the rings are rumored to be.

—

"Then around this corn-oh" Barnaby says as the group stops in front of a big vault door.

Edvard lets go of Barnaby's hand and Barnaby feels cold and some odd kind of sadness in his chest. He chalks it up to the rings not being right there for them to grab then run out. Edvard takes out his corking machine, Barnaby doesn't know what it's called he was to drunk to pay attention last time it was used.

The cork like substance gets injected into the vault door and Edvard instructs everyone to duck for cover. Angel grabs Minerva and hides behind a pedestal with a garish potted plant on top of it. Edvard grabs Barnaby as the bolts start shooting out of the door and presses him to the wall behind a trophy case filled framed butterflies.

After the chaos Minerva emerges from behind the pedestal first and just looks at the fallen vault door.

"Well, that works." is all she says.

Angel puts a hand around her waist and the Caspar's nose gently boops Minerva's head. Edvard, finally lets go of Barnaby's jacket which he didn't know he was holding onto and so tightly at that. It takes Barnaby longer to compute because his mind is stuck on the fact that Edvard was so close to him.

He eventually peels himself off the wall and strolls his way inside the vault with Edvard following. Barnaby walks around all the glass cases trying to find one with rings in it.

"Barnaby, old boy! C'mere!" Edvard calls and Barnaby strolls over.

Barnaby leans his arm on Edvard's head and Edvard grumbles something. He has his notepad out, open on the page where he scribbled down the information on the rings.

"That ring matches her description." There is a singular black ring in the box with a black diamond on it and the ring itself covered in what looks like archaic runes. "However there's only one so where's the other?"

"Somewhere you won't ever get your grimey little hands on." says an unknown voice.

Barnaby and Edvard spin around to see an older clean-shaven man in a very fancy gold and white coat. He looks furious.

"I don't know who you are but you will be leaving now."

"Actually" Barnaby interjects, "did you know there's supposed to be two rings here not just one."

"What are you talking about?"

"The really gothic rings or are you so clueless you don't even know what's in your own vault?" Barnaby asks as he takes a few steps closer to the man.

"What do you even want with the ring?"

"What do you want with it?" Minerva asks from directly behind the man and holding a pistol to the back of the man's head.

"Wh-what?"

"What. Do. You. Want. With. It?" Minerva slowly and sternly repeats.

"You better tell them or Minnie'll blow your brains out!" Angel calls from outside the vault. Angel is holding a picture frame and is admiring the butterflies inside.

"She's right you know." Minerva confirms.

Barnaby looks nervously back at Edvard who has the same scared and confused look in his eyes as Barnaby does. Barnaby tries to send a carefree smile to Edvard to reassure him. It doesn't seem to work as Edvard just looks more concerned. Barnaby does feel some kind of warmness in his chest after seeing Edvard seem concerned and seemingly concerned for him. Barnaby shakes his head and tries to dismiss the feeling because it is very much not the time for this.

"W-well I-" says the man.

"Just answer the question, we don't have all day."

"I-I thought the ring was pretty. . ?"

"W-well it is quite pretty, you're right." Barnaby interjects. Edvard nervously nods in agreement in the background.

"Alright, well's the other one?"

"I-I don't know! I've only ever had the one!"

Angel's heels clack on the tiled floor of the vault as she walks inside. She stops next to the man with the gun to the back of his head.

Angel picks up the fox's head and holds it to her ear, "what's that Caspar? Hm, maybe if Minnie doesn't kill him."

"What is he saying?" The man asks nervously.

"Oh! He was simply asking if he could eat you." Angel smiles a charming smile as she tells him.

Angel leans over slightly so Caspar's head rests on the man's shoulder. The man's eyes dart over to the fox's head as if any moment the stuffed fox could come alive and sink it's teeth into his head.

Minerva rolls her eyes at the whole thing and orders the man to give the men the ring. The man shakily unlocks the box the ring is inside and drops it into Barnaby's hand. Barnaby then passes the ring off to Edvard who pockets it.

"Are you going to let me go now?" The man asks.

Minerva pretends to think about it, "well, you've done all that I've asked of you," the man nods vigorously at that, "but also I'll get paid a load of money if I kill you and Angel doesn't like you so . . . no."

With that Minerva fires a single bullet into the back of the man's head and Barnaby screams as he uses his coat to shield him and the rest of his outfit from the blood splatter. Edvard screams as well and clings to Barnaby's arm tightly, his grip probably stopping the arm's blood circulation.

"See, this is why I picked out a red dress for you." Angel says and Minerva looks down at her red dress which to be fair is hiding the blood pretty well. Minerva nods as a thank you then turns her attention to the two men across from them.

Barnaby has calmed down while Edvard is still gripping tightly onto Barnaby's arm. Barnaby wants to pet Edvard's hair to reassure him but isn't sure if that would help or only scare him more.

"Sorry, sorry both rings aren't here and sorry I scared you two." Minerva apologizes.

"Ah well, you did save us" Barnaby admits.

"Yes, well I thought you knew I was an assasin."

"Well, at least we know know?"

"True, nice to meet you Barnaby."

Minerva outstretches her hand and Barnaby shakes it adding "nice to meet you too Minerva."

"Maybe we can get some coffee sometime, you know in a safer, less high-stakes and less stressful environment." Angel chimes in.

Minerva and Barnaby nods to that. Edvard looks at her before giving a hesitant nod.

—

"Ah, hello you t-oh my! Are you two okay?!" Eleanor asks, seeing the state of them.

Barnaby and Edvard look at each other before Edvard gives a thumbs up. He fishes around in coat pocket and pulls out the ring they got in the vault. Eleanor's eyes light up when she sees it and gingerly takes the ring and gently runs a thumb over it.

"He-he sadly didn't have the other one. Said he's only ever had that one.". Barnaby says, breaking the silence.

Eleanor turns away from the boys and mutters under her breath, "Oh, did she keep hers even after all this time?".

"Sorry what was that?" Barnaby asks.

"I simply said, 'well just the one is good, thank you'" Eleanor lies before placing the ring back on her ring finger.

"I'll be honest it feels kinda weird wearing this again, maybe I'll get a chain for it, maybe." Eleanor says as she admires the ring on her finger.

Eleanor shakes her head to dismiss the thoughts climbing in and clasps her hands together, "Why don't we get you two cleaned up. You two can get showers and you can change out of those . . .", she gestures to Barnaby's bloody coat, "clothes and change back into your everyday clothes.".

"That sounds good." Barnaby says already on his way to Eleanor's bathroom for a shower.

When he's gone Eleanor turns to Edvard and holds her hand out to cup Edvard's face, waiting for Edvard's consent to do so. Edvard nods and Eleanor gently cups Edvard's face in her hands.

"Are you alright, Edvard?"

Edvard shakes his head no. Eleanor opens her arms for a hug and Edvard collapses into her arms exhausted and already asleep.

—

Keleanor runs a hand down her face and groans. She scans the papers on her desk again before throwing them on the desk again. They were lucky she had a back-up base for them, it's not their ideal location since it's so far away from the original Dimmer Mansion but at least they have something.

The door is cracked open slightly and a pair of hands creep around the door, "Ms. Keleanor, we don't mean to interrupt-"

"No, no, come in" Keleanor waves the dimmer sisters over to the two chairs in front of her desk.

The dimmer sisters each sit in a chair quietly. Keleanor stacks her papers neatly to the side of her desk before cracking her knuckles. The two dimmer sisters look at each other then back at Keleanor. Keleanor then intertwines her fingers and rests her hands on the desk.

"Now, Tasha, Sasha, what brought you into my office?"

"Uh, well, we were sent to ask about the, um, the freed spirits." Tasha says.

"Hm?"

"She means all the spirits that got out when the . . . when the mansion crumbled . . . and broke many, many, . . many spirit bottles." Sasha clarifies.

"Right. That. What question were you sent here to ask about?"

"Are we to go out and recapture them or are we to just leave them be?"

Keleanor presses her intertwined fingers to her lips as she thinks. She then pushes herself up out of her chair.

"Who sent you to ask this question?"

"It was Bernice and Denise, Ms. Keleanor." Tasha admits.

"Right, they should be in the study shouldn't they?"

"Yes, Ms. Keleanor. Sasha answers.

"Who else is wondering this?" Keleanor says as she goes to pace around the room.

"A fair amount of sisters, Ms. Keleanor." They both say.

Keleanor pauses before saying "Go back down to the study and gather all the sisters wondering abt the freed spirits and I'll be down and we can all discuss it.".

"Yes, Ms. Keleanor." They say as one.

Tasha and Sasha then walk out the door and down the steps to the makeshift study.

Keleanor stares at the bookshelf, thinking back to how all this happened, the reason they needed to go to this makeshift base. All because of a certain all too familiar person. Keleanor raises her hand to look at the black ring with a black diamond and what looks like archaic runes on the ring itself on her ring finger.

"Oh what am I going to do with you Ellie?"

Keleanor gently kisses her ring then looks at it with both fondness and melancholy. Keleanor then heads out of her makeshift office and down to the makeshift study.

—

Barnaby sits down next to Edvard who still has plenty of eyebags. Edvard doesn't react for a few seconds before he tiredly leans on Barnaby's side. Barnaby holds his hand out to rub Edvard's back and Edvard leans in to the touch. Barnaby rubs Edvard's back.

They sit there silently for a while before Edvard threatens Barnaby with "if you tell anyone about this you're dead.".

"I promise I won't tell anyone." Barnaby replies.

Edvard seems content with that answer because he falls back asleep, softly snoring.

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