#kelly you always get involved!

[phxntomsdusk]

My forever - Will x GN!Reader

summary: you never planned on falling for your best friend, but you don’t regret it<3

warnings: none<3

tags: @ax-y10 (ask to be added)

word count: 2k

You and Wilbur had been friends forever. Meeting in primary school, and clicking almost instantly. Nobody could separate you two even if they tried, you were glued at the hip.

Of course, challenges came along the way. Friend group fallouts, family problems, summertime depression, etc. but you two always had each other, no matter what. And of course, with every cliche friendship, feelings got involved.

It started with the simple questions you received in the hallways. “Are you dating?” “Are you two a thing?” It was a constant reminder that everyone would assume you and him were together, even if you were just really close.

But it made you question yourself, could you ever date him? You always said he was your other half, the person you could always go to. You would never discuss it with him, it was saved for your journal to rant and curse out all of your emotions and thoughts.

You didn’t know Wilbur was doing the same thing, questioning himself every time he caught himself staring at you got a bit too long. How could he not stare? He was best friends with the most beautiful person he had ever met. But of course, he didn’t dare make a move.

Eventually, it became obvious to your friends that the two of you had a thing for one another, and they came up with a plan that just had to work.

Every weekend everyone would meet at your friend Chris’s treehouse, but this time, they would all find a way to leave you two alone with the lingering topic left for you to discuss.

“Hey, guys!” Your friend Kelly smiled widely at you and Will, helping you get inside the treehouse door and allowing you to sit on the small makeshift couch in the corner. Will joined after you, taking his spot right next to yours, and wrapping an arm over your shoulder like he always did. “Graduation is, like, a few weeks away. That’s insane.”

Your attention was brought to Chris, nodding at his words. “I know, right? We’ve all known each other for nearly 10 years at this point. We’re so old.” You earned a laugh from Will before he spoke up and leaned forward, moving his arm around your back. “Exactly. We’ll all be heading off to uni in a few months too, well, maybe not Zach.”

Your friend, Zach, let out an offended gasp. He was known as the dumbest one in your group, mostly because he had failed all of his classes through all of high school, yet somehow passed the year. “I definitely will get into uni! I’m going to Harvard.” He scowled at Will, earning an even louder laugh from him.

“As if, you’d be better off getting a job as a janitor for Harvard,” Chris spoke up with a teasing smile, before looking over at you and Will with a knowing look. “Guys, when do you think we’ll all get married?”

The question struck you with confusion. Why would he be talking about marriage? He didn’t even have a girlfriend, let alone someone to marry. “Why do you ask? I mean, I’d hope to get married by around 25, I don’t wanna be in my 30’s.” You shrugged and leaned back into Will’s hold, watching as he nodded in agreement.

“25 is a good age. But with the way I want to get into music, I may be touring by then. I’m telling you now, I’m gonna be famous.” He smiled and looked down at you, running his hand up and down your arm. “I bet Will and Y/N will get hitched by 21,” Kelly spoke up with a grin, giggling under her breath.

It took you back, both you and Will. Did they all think you were dating too? Sure, you were being touchy, but this was how your friendship worked. But they thought you would get together?

“Me and Y/N? Are you crazy?” Will’s words slightly hurt, earning a frown from you as you simply nodded. “Maybe not crazy. Just delusional.” You smiled at him, sitting up and resting your head against the back of the ‘couch’.

Chirs and Zach looked at each other with the same knowing look, before announcing they had to leave for a moment. You were confused as they got up, climbed down the ladder, and rushed inside of Chris’s house. Kelly soon joined them, leaving you and Will all alone.

The silence was eating at you, wanting to speak up and say something, but not knowing what to say. Until he spoke up for you.

“Could you see a future with me?” He looked at you with a curious and hopeful expression, almost as if he wanted you to say yes. You had never thought of it before, but now that you were, you definitely could. “I mean, yeah. Can you?” He thought for a moment, smiling and nodding at you. “Yeah. I can.”

The two of you sat in silence for a bit longer, simply smiling at yourselves. “Wanna go on a date? To try and test it out, maybe?” You looked back at him, a light blush on both of your faces. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

It was settled. You and Wilbur were attempting a date.

About a week had passed, and it was nerve-racking, you didn’t want to get too dressed up or be too underdressed. Should you do your hair? Makeup? Wear special jewelry? Would he even notice? He was taking you to the movies, why did any of this matter so much to you?

You settled on a simple band t-shirt, jeans, converse, and a necklace he had gifted you on a previous birthday of yours. It was a simple yet good enough outfit for a date.

He picked you up at around 6 pm, he always said nighttime movies were the best, and he wasn’t wrong at all. You were going to see Spider-Man, his choice of course. You were lucky he had enough cash on him to get popcorn and some drinks, even getting you a box of your favorite candy, because who doesn’t love overpriced candy?

“I never thought I’d be taking my best friend on a date. Especially one of the most cliche dates in history.” He spoke as you two entered the theater, sitting towards the back and getting comfy. “Me neither. I bet our friends are happy.” You smiled at him, taking a bit of the popcorn from the hun he held. “Oh. Before I picked you up Chris called me and gave me tips on how to kiss.”

The simple comment made your cheeks flush for a second, Chris expected you two to kiss? It wasn’t like you’ve never kissed anyone, you just never kissed someone this close to you. “Really? He’s a huge dreamer. I swear his dreams are more unrealistic than Zach getting into Harvard.”

Will laughed at your comment, and you noticed how pretty he seemed to truly be. The ways the corners of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled, the way his dimples would become extra visible whenever he smiled at you. Were you falling for him?

“You’re staring.” He commented quietly before his attention was brought to the lights being shut off and the intro playing for the movie. He wasn’t wrong, you had been staring. “No, I wasn’t.” Denial was the best plan at this point.

It was silent for the most part, besides the movie, but there was an awkward tension between you two. It was like you knew something but wouldn’t tell the other.

Your eyes were locked on the screen, occasionally laughing or commenting on a scene, but mostly sitting in silence. Until he spoke up.

“Wanna head to our spot after this?” He looked at you with a smile, one that somehow made your heart melt. By his spot he meant the parking garage at your local mall, the top had been blocked off due to the concrete beginning to give out in certain areas. “Yeah, I’m down.”

And of course, that’s where you went. The two of you sat on the hood of his car, staring up at the darkening sky as you spoke about anything and everything.

“Do you ever think the stars could, maybe, help find your soulmate?” He blurted out randomly, followed by a laugh. “Like, when you meet your soulmate, imagine if you saw your initials in the stars. That would be so cool!” You simply laughed along with him, shaking your head at his behavior. “You’re so weird.”

A comfortable silence fell on the both of you, you hadn’t even noticed he started to stare at you. It wasn’t weird or creepy, it was comforting and sweet. His gaze was soft, one of his hands gently grabbing ahold of yours. You moved your head to look over at him, meeting his gaze and smiling lightly.

There was a feeling between you two, you both felt it. But it wasn’t foreign, it had been the same feeling you’d developed over the last 10 years of knowing him. You two were in love with each other and didn’t even realize it.

“I think I need to be honest with you.” His words were quiet, and he adjusted his posture for a second and sat up. “Y/N, I think I’m in love with you.” He looked at you with a worried yet hopeful look, almost like he wanted you to say the same.

Did you feel the same? Well, he was almost always the first thought when you woke up. You would fall asleep on a call with him, making sure he was the last person you spoke to before sleeping. Maybe you did love him.

“I think I love you too.” Your voice was equally quiet, the two of you sharing a knowing look before he slowly leaned in and gently kissed you. It only lasted a few moments, but it was still meaningful. “Did Chris’s advice pay off?” He spoke in a joking tone, earning a laugh and nod from you. “Definitely.”

One week. One entire week since you two kissed.

Today was graduation day, you had barely seen him during the week of your schedules not lining up. Your cap and gown paired nicely with your outfit somehow, a smile on your face the entire day.

The ceremony was short and sweet, at least when you weren’t paying attention. Hearing your name be announced, earning your diploma, getting that final handshake. It was unbelievable. You were practically on autopilot during the entire thing.

It wasn’t very memorable until it was over. Everyone meets up with their family and friends afterward, getting congratulated for making it through the entire year. And then you spotted him.

Will was stood off to the side, awkwardly messing with his cap string before looking up to meet your gaze. A wide smile appeared on his featured, rushing over to wrap his arms around you.

“Y/N! I’m so proud of you.” He smiled widely at you, before pulling you into a sweet kiss. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, smiling into his kiss for a moment until the two of you parted. “I’m proud of you too, Will.” You two didn’t bother to even find your families, simply basking in each other's arms at the moment.

He continued to admire you, placing a hand on the side of your face and running his thumb over your cheekbone. “Can I say something kind of cheesy?” He smiled lightly, earning a nod from you.

“Y/N. I want you to be my forever.”

Your heart melted almost immediately at his words, letting out an audible ‘awe’ as you leaned up and hugged him closely. “You’re so cute.” You mumbled against his shoulder, smiling to yourself as you felt his arms firmly wrap around you.

“I mean it, I love you.” He whispered in your ear, planting a kiss on the side of your temple. He loved you, he did. You looked up at him with a lovesick expression, “I love you too, Will.”

[chrisdr3]

Last minute confessions ~ OP81

Fluff and a bit of embarrassment

Summary: In the drivers' dinner in Abu Dhabi, Y/N is forced to confess her crush to Oscar and vice versa.

The 2023 season came to an end with max winning the last race, making it the most dominant season in F1. After that, everyone decided to have dinner in the same restaurant you did last year, but not for saying farewell to someone. You just liked it and wanted to do it again.

Everyone was already at the restaurant, waiting for you. Some of them started to get a bit irritated of waiting. Fernando saw that and decided to talk. "Don't worry guys, you know Y/N, she's probably late because she always wants to look gorgeous for this kind of events." He smiled.

By the time he stopped talking, you entered the restaurant and approached the drivers' table. You had your hair down, some mascara, eyeliner and lipstick applied and you were wearing this. "Hello guys, sorry for being late." You smiled. "It's okay Y/N, you look stunning by the way." Daniel said.

You sat down in the remaining seat in between Daniel and Oscar. After a bit, everyone turned back to normal. They continued discussing, sometimes involving you in their convos. Except from Oscar. He was blushing slightly and wasn't taking part in any of the conversations.

You didn't really mind, as you knew pretty well that oscar didn't talk very much anyways and that he was more of an introverted type of guy. The dinner was going pretty well, and the food arrived quickly. You ate and after everyone finished, all the drivers decided to stay a bit longer and maybe have a drink.

Suddenly, Lando came up with the idea of asking everyone about their love life. Checo, Nico and K-Mag were married with kids , so they didn't bother replying, Max said he was doing fine with Kelly, Lando, Lance, Logan and Esteban claimed being still single, Lewis didn't bother to find anyone yet, Valterri and Fernando didn't answer, even tho there were rumours about them being seen with women.

There were 9 drivers left, including you and Oscar. Zhou didn't answer, as he was talking to the phone, everyone knew that Pierre and Alex were doing really good with Kika and Lily because of their posts on social media, so they just confirmed it. Carlos didn't want to give any info, just that he's doing pretty decent with Rebecca, George was okay with Carmen and Charles said that Alexandra was waiting for him to get back to Monaco.

After Charles stopped talking, Daniel was asked. He answered that he was more than great with Heidi and that they were planning to go at his family's house in Perth for the holidays. Then, only you and Oscar were left. "Y/N, what's going on with your love life? Are you with someone, are you crushing on anyone?" Lando asked, a smirk plastered in his face.

You blushed, embarrassed. How were you going to tell it? All the drivers turned to look at you. You were getting hotter and redder with every single second passing. "Come on, tell us!" Daniel said. You didn't respond. "Okay, I'll help you. Are you crushing on someone?" Max intervened, his voice calm. You nodded yes. "Is it someone from here?" Max continued. "Y-yes..." "Can you tell us who?" "N-no."

Max stopped, thinking for a bit. "Then we'll play a little game." "Okay..." "Is he blond or brunette?" "Brunette." "So it's not K-Mag, Nico or Valterri." "Yes." "Is he European?" "No." "So, that means we're left with Lance, Logan, Checo, Zhou, Daniel and Oscar." "Right." "Is he from America?" "No." "Then there's Daniel, Zhou and Oscar left. It's not Zhou, am I right?" "You're right." "So there ar the two Aussies left."

"It's Oscar..." You mumbled, looking at your feet, face red as a tomato. Then Oscar turned to look at you, blushing, rubbing the back of his neck a bit embarrassed. "Y/N..." He spoke, breaking the silence. You turned your face to look at him. "I-i like you too Y/N..." You looked at him, smiling a bit. He cupped your face with his hands and kissed you gently. After a little, he pulled back, blushing. "S-sorry..." You slid your hand in his under the table. "It's fine."

Everyone applauded for you and then left you to talk, discussing about other things. "Oscar..." You whispered. "Yes?" "Do you wanna be my boyfriend?" He squeezed your hand gently. "Yes."

[sunny44]

Unveiling the Truth

(Ruin it part.2)

Pairing: Max Verstappen x journalist!reader

Warnings: none I guess.

Summary: You and max were always teasing each other and over the years it turned into a huge sexual tension, until the fights of all the years and the accumulated lust turned into one long night of great sex.

Previous chapter | Next chapter

After that night Max and I never talked about it again. He went on pretending that nothing had happened and so did I but the fact that I was part of his betrayal is what haunts me every day.

Ok I don't like Kelly but I did something I wouldn't want to be done to me so I feel bad.

We were at the last race of the year and it was a weekend she was here which didn't help my guilt at all.

"Are you okay?" Pierre asks slipping his arm around my shoulders giving me a hug.

"Not much."

"Do you want to talk?"

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone?" He agrees and I pull him into a corner. "Max and I had sex."

"WHAT?" He screams and I cover his mouth with my hand. "What?"

"That's exactly what you heard."

"How?"

"Do you really want me to explain how?"

"Ew that's not what I meant. I mean how did it happen?"

"It was after the third title celebration party, I took him back to the hotel and we fucked in my room."

"My God I've been trying to get you into bed for years and you never wanted to."

"Is that really what you're thinking about right now?"

"Of course, that lucky bastard."

"Pierre I'm serious, stop thinking about me naked on top of you and concentrate."

"Now that you've said that I won't be able to concentrate."

"Forget it." I walk away annoyed and he comes right behind me but Max sees us and I know he's imagining that we did the same thing he and I did at the hotel.

...

I was walking past Redbull at night with the paddock already empty when one of the engineers asked me to go into the garage and when I did he directed me to Max's drivers room where he was inside.

"What is it?"

"May I ask what you were doing with Pierre in the corner?"

"And why does that interest you?"

"Just answer the damn question." He says irritated.

"We were talking."

"The same way you and I talked that night?"

"Where's your girlfriend anyway?"

"That doesn't matter."

"It does matter since I know she's here this weekend."

"Forget Kelly okay? Can we talk about us?"

"There is no us, that was a mistake and you shouldn't be so calm about the fact that you cheated on your girlfriend and that I helped you do it."

"I'm only calm because I don't feel the same way about her as I do about you." At this I fell silent. "She doesn't make me feel angry and want to grab you and kiss you at the same time, she doesn't make me feel good after a bad race even if I only see you in those 5 minutes of interview and she doesn't understand me like you understand do."

"Max..."

"Just say you don't feel the same way about me and I’ll pretend the best night of my life never happened and leave you alone.”

"I don't know." He takes his hands away from my face. "I never thought of you as anything other than the guy I keep picking on."

"And I'll never be anything else to you?"

"Not until you sort out your situation with her." He sighs. "I won't allow myself to feel anything for you or try to have anything with you while you're committed."

"And after that?"

"After that we're going to have to talk, because like it or not you cheated on her and as much as I was the bitch who helped you do it and that I deserve it to happen to me too, I don't want to be the next on your list."

"You're never going to be just anyone on my list, you're not even on the list, you're completely superior to anyone I've ever been involved with in my life."

"Don't say that if you don’t really mean it."

"I was serious about everything I just said."

"Okay then go find me when you sort yourself out."

...

It had been a month since our conversation and Max hadn't said anything else so I understood that he had moved on with Kelly.

Charles and Pierre had invited me to go on a trip together and as I had nothing better to do I decided to go along.

I packed all my things and my cell phone started ringing and I saw that Pierre was calling so I didn't even answer it, I just locked my apartment and went down the elevator with my things, to my surprise when I got downstairs Max was with them and smiled when he saw me.

"I didn't know you were going."

"Yeah, last minute plans."

"We're going by jet." Pierre says kissing my forehead and hugging me from the side.

"What about our tickets?"

"They don't exist, I lied because I knew that if you knew max would be along you would have given up on going."

"Good that you know me." I say putting my bag in the trunk of the car and getting in the back seat.

The walk to the runway was complete silence on my part, I was annoyed that he had ignored me all this time and now he showed up here on a trip he knew I would be on.

The boys were excited and got on the plane before me and Max who grabbed my arm as soon as the two had left my sight.

"Can you let me go?"

"Can you stop being rude to me?"

"And why should I? It wasn't enough that you ignored me and went on this trip together to annoy me and now what? Kelly is going to show up there too."

"No because we broke up."

"What?"

"I broke up with her like I told you I would and I only ignored you because I was helping her moving her stuff out of my apartment. I had to hire a moving truck to take P's stuff to her place too.”

"You could have texted you saying that."

"I know and I'm sorry, it wasn't a quiet break up and I just needed time.”

"It's okay." He let go of my arm. "Let's go before they notice we're late."

Taglist: @44-ilton @babyvinnie @hockey-racing-fubol @xjval @xcinnamongirl @dudenhaaa27 @evans-dejong @chelseagirl98

Ps: this will have a part 3

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Crushed 15

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, manipulation, cheating, sleazy behaviour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your next door neighbours hook up, bringing to surface deep-seated feelings.

Characters: Colin Shea, Jonathan Pine

Note: Please scream at me!

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you like my dog loves belly rubs (that’s a lot). Take care. 💖

After an early morning phone call, your mother insists on coming to town for lunch. You couldn't bear to tell her everything over the phone and frankly, you don't know how much you should tell her. You remember in high school when you were sent home after Kelly Harris dumped mud in your lap, your mother was more irritated to have you home than empathetic. 

You watch through the peephole before you sneak out. You haven't slept but you can't be sure Colin hasn't returned. There's enough noise in the building that it's hard to discern who's coming or going. 

When you do emerge, you flit quickly to the first floor and dip out, looking over your shoulder for either Colin or his vengeful girlfriend. You get through the lobby without trouble but you're not in the clear. Surely the day holds nothing but trouble, regardless of where it comes from.

You check the time as you wait for the cab. You refer to the text your mother sent before she set out and give the driver the name of the restaurant. You've never been there before and you're certain it's well out of your price range. Another debt for the tally.

This is the last thing you ever wanted. It makes all this drama seem all the more ridiculous. You’re a grown woman and this is what you’ve come to. Back to square one.

You approach the restaurant doors and enter with a sheepish grin. You don’t know that you own anything that wouldn’t be underdressed for this bougie brunch locale. Once more, you look at your phone. Crap, she’s there first. That means you're late even if you agreed on nine.

The hostess shows you to the table where your mother waits. She has her compact out as she touches up her mauve lipstick. She doesn’t acknowledge you or the hostess as you sit. She snaps shut the mirror and sips from her stemmed glass of orange juice.

“About time,” she drawls, “oh, and nice to hear from you after all these months.”

Her eyes finally deign to land on you. You gulp. You should’ve taken the chance of talking to your father but ultimately you know it’s not up to him.

“You’ve been so busy with Geri’s wedding–”

“Don’t try to guilt me for your neglect,” she warns, “you should be happy for your sister. Her fiance is a charming man. You’ve met Colton, haven’t you?”

“Once or twice,” you grumble. Family get togethers weren’t exactly your favourite memories. “I’ve been waiting on my invite–”

“Invite? You’re a bridesmaid. Geri sent out that email months ago. Is this why you weren’t at the fitting?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t get an email.”

“You’re wrong. Certainly, you must be. You and the rest of the girls are bridesmaids. You have to be. And it might be good for you to be involved in a wedding at least once,” she tuts. You don’t miss the jibe. Yeah, not like you have much hope of walking down the aisle.

“I’ll… I’ll call Geri and clear things up,” you say, “how are the others?”

“Well, Maeve is graduating this year. Always exciting. She’s thinking of joining Audrey at her alma mater. And Livia is somewhere in Spain again.”

“Ah, yeah, she sent me some pictures,” you say.

“And you? What are you up to?” She challenges. She’s not genuinely curious.

“Well,” you take a breath, pausing as a server comes to ask what you’d like to drink. You get the same as your mother and peruse the menu.

“Well…” your mother prompts.

“Yeah, um, I…” you shake your head, you can’t even look at her, “I am on leave from work so… not much.”

“Leave? What does that mean?” She hisses.

You feel your eyes tinge. You look at her. Why is she so different to you? Your other sisters can spill all their worries and whims but you, it’s always judgment. You can never do anything right.

“Uh, I thought maybe it might be a good time to–”

“Ah, pardon,” you’re interrupted before you can sputter out the revelation of another failure. You cringe as you recognise Jonathan’s silky lilt. Why? How? Do you even dare questioning fate anymore? “I just, I had to say hello.”

You force a smile and look at him, trying not to falter in front of your mother’s all-seeing gaze. She sits up, and lets out a hum of surprise as she sees Johnathan. Her lashes give a telling flick.

“Hello?” She utters quizzically.

“This must be one of your sisters,” he says as he runs his hand up the sleek lapel of his blue jacket, “very pleased to finally meet you.”

“Sister? Oh, do not flatter me. I am her mother, Eugenia,” she introduces herself with a smug smirk, “and how do you know each other?”

“Uh, oh,” you stutter and send Jonathan a desperate look. Do you tell her you’re his disgraced former employee? Or maybe just business acquaintance. She’s going to know eventually, that’s why you’re here. “Jonathan is–”

“Jonathan Pine,” he introduces himself, “honoured to finally meet you.” He looks at you, arching a brow before turning his attention back to his mother, “you both must be so excited for your elder daughter’s upcoming nuptials?”

“British?” She intones with intrigue.

“You’ve caught me out,” he grins, “your daughter’s been rather helpful in getting me acquainted with this country. Very lovely…” he peeks at you again, “hardly as lovely as her. You’ve raised a rather endearing daughter.”

“You…” she blinks in confusion, sending you another flabbergasted peek, “you and my daughter…” she lets the suggestion hang. Jonathan does too as he gives you an option; come clean or take the bait.

“I was waiting to introduce you at the wedding,” you blurt out, “I… it’s new.” You say, each word jarring as the lies piece themselves together on your tongue, “and I thought,” you look at Jonathan pointedly, “he was out of town.”

“Business trip was canceled, rescheduled to a business breakfast,” he slithers, “I’m meeting Gerry soon,” he checks his watch, “but I will be sure to tell the hostess to put your bill with mine.”

“Oh–” you squeak.

“Oh my,” your mother trills, “you are too kind. That is…” she gapes at you openly, “you… you’re with my daughter. Her?”

He chuckles lightly, “why wouldn’t I be with such a beautiful woman?”

“I didn’t mean– I don’t– I’m very surprised,” she exclaims shrilly, “she never mentioned, but then again, she’s always been so private. So shy. And you seem like such a lovely man.”

“I like to think so, but please, she is not the lucky one,” he preens and steps towards you. He places his hand on your shoulder and bends, grazing his lips across your cheek, “go with it,” he whispers. 

You turn your head just as his lips aim for yours. He kisses you and the air leaves the room. Your chest ties tight and your entire body tingles. Oh, wow. You’re too swept up in the sensation of his unexpected kiss that you can’t remember why you were so off-kilter a moment ago.

“Now let me not interrupt further. A mother-daughter reunion,” he puts his hand to his chest, “how sweet.”

He backs away and dips his chin. He turns on his heel and crosses the restaurant as you stare after him. The server approaches and sets your drink in front of you. You drink it in the silence of your mother’s disbelief.

“Well, you’ve done finely,” she says in a stunted cadence, “I… he’s so handsome. And tall. And blond!”

“Mom,” you plead as you nearly choke on the orange juice.

“Well. Even you must realise he’s very… dashing as they’d say in his home country,” she flutters her lashes dreamily, “oh, yes, you must bring him to the wedding. He’ll look wonderful in the photos.”

You wet your lips with your tongue and nod. You look down at the table, still buzzing as your lips warm up. You can’t stop thinking about that kiss. It nips away at the anger that kept you up all night, but hardly solves your anxiety.

You can’t tell your mother you expect to be evicted in the next month or that you lost your job. So what now? How do you untangle the knot that only grows bigger and bigger?

💗

For once, your time with your mom is less than torturous. She keeps her barbs dull enough to leave you only bruised. Her mood is a touch above neutral, which for you, is an accomplishment. You’re content but not entirely at ease. You have a lot to figure out.

You bid her goodbye just outside the patio seating and wave to her as she unlocks her luxury car. You watch until you see her get in and let out a sigh. Shit. Not only do you have Jonathan to worry about, but you don’t expect Colin to be AWOL much longer.

So what do you do? Go home and face the music or call Jonathan and try not to melt into a puddle of embarrassment. It was a nice favour of him to pretend but you don’t want to assume anything. High hopes and stupid girlish fantasies got you into all this.

As you walk along the curb, a short toot draws you to a stop. You turn as the whir of a car window steals your attention and you face the familiar car. Jonathan leans over the passenger seat to see you.

“You’re not going to run away again, are you?” He asks.

You twist your heel into the pavement and bend down. You furrow your brows as that big question needles between them. You can’t lie anymore, you can’t just wait for the truth to come out, you just have to ask.

“How did you know I was here?”

His brows lift and his eyes roll to the side. He gives a guilty grin, “I hope you don’t… misinterpret it but I… staked out your building.”

“What?” You puff out.

“Yes, I know, it sounds very bad. And I won’t claim it was entirely sane but I wanted to see the police take him away after I filed the report. To be sure you were safe and then… I sat stuck in my own head. Wanting to run up those stairs and knock on your door but also terrified you wouldn’t answer,” he shrugs, “and I followed you because I worried you might run into him, but that’s only half the reason…”

You swallow and step closer, “Jonathan, what are you doing?”

“Being crazy,” he lowers his eyes bashfully, “I know, you don’t need two madmen after you.”

You shake your head and reach for the handle. You open the door and get in. He sits back, watching you as you move your purse into your lap. You stare at the dashboard.

“What is going on?” You turn your head and look into his beautiful blue eyes, “what is this?”

“I don’t…” he begins.

“You’re my boss.”

“I was.”

“I never should’ve dragged you into this–”

“I’m so happy you did,” he murmurs.

“Jonathan, please,” you beg, “it’s not right–”

“You quit,” he insists, “so what isn’t right?”

You pout and sit back, turning straight and looking up at the upholstered ceiling of the car. You don’t know what to say. No, you don’t know how to say it. Except…

“I’m stupid.”

“What?” He scoffs.

“I’m stupid because… I’m scared and lost. And I can’t make you follow me through that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Feelings don’t just go, they just get complicated,” you explain, parsing through the stirring in your gut, “I hate Colin, I’m scared to hell of him, but I still… feel some of those things I felt.”

“Oh, but darling,” he reaches over and rests his hand above your shoulder, “I know feelings don’t just go. Mine certainly won’t.”

“Feelings? For me? Are you sure it’s not pity?”

“I only pity myself for how deeply I’ve fallen,” he breathes as you sense him leaning in, “the first day I saw you, I knew. I’ve never been much of a romantic but I have to confess something.”

“What?” You shy away, sensing how close he is.

“I knew how to use the coffee machine,” he admits, “I just needed an excuse.”

“You… did?” You look at him. He’s so much closer than you thought.

“Oh yes, if you hadn’t helped with the machine, I would’ve failed miserably in front of you at making copies. And if that didn’t work, well, I suppose I’d just have to make a mistake in my numbers,” he purrs, “you would’ve helped me, wouldn’t you?”

You quiver out a breath. You want to collapse into him, you want to let him make you forget everything but him, and yet, you’re so afraid. You’re afraid to believe that this could ever be real for you.

He doesn’t let your fear win. His lips are on yours again and that’s all you need. Nothing is left but that moment, the feeling of his mouth on yours, how his hand comes up to frame your jaw and cradle your cheek, his other creeping behind your head as he clings to you desperately. You can’t help by latching onto his collar, diving into his need.

You don’t stop until you're dizzy and breathless. He pulls back, hovering before you, thumb tracing your cheek bone as his other hand tickles your neck. His eyes search you, admire you, you’ve never been looked at like that.

“May I drive you home?” He asks softly, nuzzling your nose with his.

[themultifandomgal]

Kelly Severide- 2 Years Ago

2 years ago YN did something she never thought she'd do. A one night stand. YN had gone through a nasty divorce and went to Vegas. That's where she meet a very handsome man. At the time she had the name Kelly, that was it but it didn't matter because it's not like she was going to ever see him again, right? Wrong. 4 weeks later YN finds out she's pregnant. She knew she needed to find Kelly, but how? Does he even want to be involved? After months of looking YN's baby bump grew and grew and so she needed to start to focus on herself and her baby.

2 years on and YN saw him on TV, she would never forget that handsome face. She heard that he was part of firehouse 51 in Chicago.

So that is where she is right now. Stood outside the firehouse with her 1 year old boy balanced on her hip. Nervous she takes in a deep breath and walks into the fire house

"Can I help you?" a man named Matt Casey asks

"Erm yeah. Hi I'm YN I'm looking for Kelly"

"Come with me" YN follows the man further into the firehouse "Severide. You've got a visitor" that's when YN spots Kelly sat at a table playing cards. He looks up and immediately his eyes shift from YN to the baby on her hip

"Hi" is all YN can say.

To have a bit of privacy Kelly takes YN to his office, closing the door behind him. Kelly leans on his desk as YN stands in front of him

"Is he...."

"Yours? Yeah. I wanted you to have the choice to be part of his life, but I didn't know where to find you"

"How did you find me?"

"You were on TV. I recognised you so I got a flight here" there's a pause while Kelly rubs his face with his hands, obviously feeling a little stressed and confused. Once again he looks at the baby

"What's his name?"

"Jacob" again there's a small pause

"And he's definitely mine?"

"Yes. Your the only person I slept with around that time. I know this is a lot to take in so I'll give you some time to think about it, about whether you want to be in his life. Here.." YN reaches in her pocket for a piece of paper with her number on "call me or text me with your answer. I'm staying in Chicago for the week" Kelly takes her number then shows YN the way out of the fire house.

Walking back into the firehouse Kelly flops down at the lunch table with a sigh

"So who was that?" Capp asks

"A one night stand 2 years ago" Kelly replies looking at the number YN gave him

"And the kid?" Gabby asks

"Mine. She's giving me a choice to be part of his life. I just don't know how we're going to make this work. She doesn't live in Chicago and I don't want to move so how do I be a dad?"

"Look. You've wanted to be a dad for so long now. You and Shay never got the chance to. Maybe this is your opportunity. I say take it" Casey tells his friend

"If your both serious about this you'll figure something out" Sylvie says

"How did she even find you?" Herrmann asks and Kelly proceeds to tell him about the TV show.

Over the day, Kelly has YN and Jacob on his mind. Thinking about what to do, what was the right thing to do? In the end he settles on messaging YN, telling her he wants to be part of Jacobs life, but he isn't sure how it's going to work.

For YN she was always prepared to move to wherever Kelly was. Her life back at home wasn't worth her staying, having no friends or family, it was just her and Jacob. When she receives a message off Kelly her heart almost skips a beat, he wants to be Jacobs dad. Immediately YN calls him asking for them to meet up somewhere, which Kelly suggests Mollys. YN gets herself and Jacob ready and grabs a taxi to said bar where she sees Kelly nursing a beer in his hand. When he notices YN he stands up awkwardly going to give her a hug

"Erm thank you for meeting" YN says sitting down with Jacob on her lap

"So how is this going to work?"

"I'm happy to move here"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I don't have anything back home waiting for me. My friends were my ex's friends and since I got pregnant he has been my life. I hate my job so if it means you can be a father to Jacob, I'll move"

"Before we met that night I was going through some shi... stuff. My best friend died, we were trying to have a baby together. That's why I was in Vegas"

"I'm sorry that happened, but now you have got a chance to be a father"

"I can't believe I'm actually a dad" he says looking at the baby

"You want to hold him?"

"Can I?" YN gives Kelly a smile before passing Jacob over to him "thank you, thank you for giving me this opportunity"

"Guess I best start looking for an apartment"

[visionofvoid]

Homewrecker - MV1 Part Two

Summary: “max, can you tell me the truth, just this once?”

Warnings: angst, moody max, jealous max, jealous kelly lolz 

Pairings: max verstappen x oc

Word Count: 1585

PART ONE  PART THREE 

Blake always enjoyed race weekends. If Kelly was busy with a shoot or meetings, Blake would look after Penelope for a couple of hours and the two would share pink and colourful snacks whilst watching the Formula One, whether it was practice, qualifying or the actual race. When Kelly had a free weekend and was choosing to visit Max and support him from the race itself, Blake would always come along for the ride. Sometimes it would just be the two girls childfree whilst Blake caught up with some of the friends she had made during her time as Kelly’s assistant or she would curate posts for Kelly on her social media. Though she did technically work for Kelly and knew her passwords to all her social media, her emails and some of financial info, it was never as if Kelly was her boss, they were just two friends enjoying life together. 

So, it came as a shock when Blake sat across from Kelly at a cafe and gave her the sad news. 

“I, I don’t understand. Do you need more money? I can give you more money. Did Penelope say something? Did my father say something?” Kelly questioned, making a spoon look elegant as she held it up, a little bit of cake sitting on it. Blake shook her head, smiling softly, thinking of reasons to give her friend and boss that didn’t involve her boyfriend. 

“I enjoy working alongside you, of course I do. I just think it’s time I move on from being a PA. I’ve had a few job offers and you know, I think this partnership has run its course.” Kelly pondered for a moment. “Of course I am absolutely grateful for the opportunity you have given me, but this is officially my notice. I finish up just before Silverstone, so I have about three weeks left to find you a new PA.” Blake couldn’t maintain proper eye contact and instead resorted to lifting her hot chocolate to her lips. 

“Job offers? From who?”

“Toto Wolff, at Mercedes. One of the PR advisors and I were talking at the last race and I just can’t stop thinking about it and it was a great offer.” Kelly’s eyebrows rose as she mentioned Max’s rival team but she remained stoic. 

“If you want a job in Formula One I can get Max to get you one at Red Bull.” The offer was kind but the mention of Max made Blake tighten her shoulders. “But, it is a great opportunity. I’m sad to see you leave, and I know Penelope will miss you too.”

The following months had been hell, that much was true. Whilst Blake was flourishing with Toto and Mercedes, travelling the world and relishing in the Formula One world, Max watched as Kelly’s world was failing. That may be a bit dramatic but the new personal assistant that Kelly had hired was way too under-qualified for the job. Not only did they not connect well with children but they had misplaced their VIP passes that allowed them access into the green rooms. 

It was stressful, and Max hated the fact that he missed Blake. He missed the bickering, he missed when she would bite back with insult after insult but made it sweet and funny that Kelly would laugh. He didn’t get to see Blake as often as he did when she still worked with Kelly and his world felt immensely different. He and Kelly hardly spoke unless it was at night off or one of them had a free day, but it was mostly due to the lack of experience on the new assistant behalf, or so he thought. 

Kelly found herself always comparing her new assistant to Blake and would vent to Max about how much both herself and her daughter missed Blake. Though they ended on good terms, Blake’s new position as Toto Wolff’s assistant meant less time to catch up with Kelly when they were in the same city. 

The 5th of September came around and it was time for the Dutch Grand Prix. Blake had finally settled into her new job as Toto Wolff’s assistant and she found herself getting along with everyone. She was the go to for advice for George and she enjoyed meditating with Lewis during her down time. The job wasn’t nearly as full on as Kelly’s, but she was busy a lot. Rather than watch a child or get a coffee that had fourteen steps, Blake just had to ensure that Toto’s meetings and schedule were all up to date, send emails and get the occasional coffee or lunch which was so much easier. She got paid to travel, paid to be friends with people in a sport she was beginning to love, life and breath and she finally felt as if she belonged. There was no expectation of having to dress a certain way like she did with Kelly, to feel like she fit in. 

Blake walked alongside Toto, going over the timeline for the first half of the day and handing him printouts full of necessary information before her legs became caught in the arms of a certain small child. Blake looked down, beaming at Penelope who just looked up at her with a cheeky smile on her face. She quickly glanced back at Toto, an apologetic look upon her face to which he only shook his head with a faint smile. 

“We don’t start for another hour and you’ve already done so much to ease my day. I’ll meet you there.” Blake nodded, grateful for her new friendly boss and bent down to hug the small growing girl. 

“And where is your mother?” Blake wrapped her arms around Penelope and picked her up. The young girl was dressed in Red Bull Racing merchandise which looked funny in comparison to her Mercedes uniform. 

“With Maxie! I was with Jenna but she was on her phone and I was bored. I missed you.” Blake started walking towards the Red Bull Racing back area where all drivers, team principles and other important people would be for the duration of the weekend when not at the pit. It wasn’t too far away from all the other teams so it took her no time. She showed her passes to security and walked right in. Red Bull colours were everywhere with Max and Sergio’s faces plastered on every free surface. She forgot how much Red Bull idolised their drivers. Back at Mercedes they were much more subtle, though still highlighting the importance of their two star drivers. 

“So, is Jenna the new assistant? Is she nice?” Blake happily listened as Penelope walked about Jenna. She found that she didn’t like to play with Penelope a lot but fed her lots and lots of junk food when on one was watching. It was mildly concerning to Blake and she was about to say something then she rounded the corner, stumbling on a fight that was occurring between Max and Kelly. 

“You need to hire her back. I’ll pay whatever she wants, Jenna is shit at her job!” Max seemed like he was trying to reason more than fight, but Blake knew that when there was some sort of confrontation that Kelly’s first instinct was to raise her voice and fight back. 

“Why? You made her feel insignificant, we all saw that. Why would you want her near you? With Penelope and myself?” Kelly’s eyes were burning into Max’s and Blake felt like she was imposing. Penelope was oblivious to the fight, babbling on about what Blake had missed out on the past couple months. Of course the fight was extremely loud, just enough to hear from a few metres away, plus it was fairly hushed in the building. 

“I never hated her! I-”

“You hate her, you don’t. I don’t understand. Why all the bickering, why all the stares across the room at her, why all the rolling of the eyes? I don’t understand. Make me understand. Max, can you tell me the truth, just this once?” Kelly had a tear fall down her cheek, Blake feeling immensely guilty for both eavesdropping and being the topic of the fight. 

Max’s eyes faltered and he looked to the ground, hoping it could somehow swallow him up and he could avoid this conversation altogether. But this was reality, this was real life and everything was coming back to bite him in the ass. 

“Max, Goddammit! Look at me. Look at me!” Kelly’s voice got louder, this time snapping Penelope out of her one-sided conversation in Blake's arms and looking around for the source of the voice. “Tell me the truth.”

“I don’t hate Blake. I never hated Blake.”

“You love her.” Blake was shocked, she even let out a gasp when Kelly said those words which seemed to make them both snap out of their heated fight. Max looked like a kicked puppy and Kelly’s face was bright red, fuelling with anger. 

“Penelope, there you are.” A woman who Blake could only presume was Jenna rounded the corner, rushing for Penelope and snatching the young girl out of Blake’s arms before anyone could protest.

“You don’t mean that.” Blake filled in the silence, her full attention to Max. “Tell me you don’t mean that. Tell me and Kelly that you hate me, that you hate my guts. Please, tell us anything that isn’t you loving me. You can’t love me, Max, you need to hate me.” 

[wosowrites]

Legacy’s Daughter (Leah Williamson x Reader)

warnings: none

a/n: probably the shortest fic i’ve ever written. based off this request:

prompt: in which leah is dating the daughter of one of the old lionesses and the reader goes with her mother to get her legacy cap.

Your mother was Kelly Smith. Yeah, the Kelly Smith. She had adopted you at only 24 year old. The adoption was out of the blue, and quite random to the fans, but you meant everything to her.

It also just so happened that Leah Williamson was a pretty big fan of Kelly. Having done the walkout with the former english captain as a young girl.

In August of 2022, at a Euros celebration party, you had met Leah for the first time. At the time, you were 20 and Leah was 24. Things had gotten a little wild, there was a lot of alcohol involved, and then an unplanned hookup. But after that night, when the alcohol wore off, you couldn’t brush the feeling of wanting to see her again.

Today, 8 months later, you and Leah were dating. The lionesses knew, so did your mother, but your relationship stayed private from the fans for now.

You sat in the drivers seat of your mothers car, driving up to St-George’s park. Today, she would receive her legacy cap.

You pulled up in the parking lot and then looked over to your mother. "Mum?" You said gently. "Yes sweetheart?" She asked, putting her phone down. "I’m really grateful for you. You had no reason to adopt me when you were so young. But you did, and you kept on captaining England and I’m so lucky to have you. And i’m really proud you’re my mum." You said to her.

Your mother smiled at you and leaned it to hug you, holding her close to you. "Okay. Let’s go get that cap." You smiled at her. "You just want to see your girlfriend." Kelly laughed. "I do." You answered.

You had always been close with your mother, she was the best mother ever. The perfect balance of being parent like and your best friend.

You walked in together, photographers already taking pictures. The second you found yourselves in the large futsal gym, you took in your surroundings. Multiple tables with dozens of red legacy caps, a bunch of former and current lionesses, and in the middle of it all, your girlfriend.

You walked up to her, tapping her on the shoulder and making her look away from her friends. "Baby!" She said happily. She wrapped her arms around your waist and spun you around as you wrapped your arms around her neck. "I’m happy to see you" she said into your hair. "You saw me yesterday." You giggled. "And i’m happy to see you again."

You let go of her and smiled at her, taking in her features instead of kissing her.

She took in yours and then you had to look away to not be too suspicious due to the cameras everywhere.

The ceremony started soon enough, they called the names of different former lionesses, and eventually, it was your mothers turn. You clapped loudly and whooped as she walked up to get her hat. As current captain, Leah placed it on her head and gave her a quick hug and a smile.

Leah gave a speech at the end of the hat distribution, and then came over to you. "I’m happy you came with Kelly." Leah said to you, putting her arm around your shoulders. "Me too. Life’s really crazy. She would never have known that the girl she walked out with that one game when you were like… 8 would end up being her daughters girlfriend. And the best captain englands ever had." You said to her. "Woah! Dont let your mum hear that." Leah laughed. "Hey! There my words but there also hers. She always says it. You’re the best Englands ever seen, Leah." you told your girlfriend.

[moontrinemars]

Asteroid Pan in Natal and Synastry Charts

Once again, this information is compiled for my use and posted for shared convenience. Read my bio for a disclaimer and practice common courtesy if you're interested in using my words or work.

To start, we have to understand the context of Pan, whether as a mythic figure, a divine patron, or both.

Pan is a rustic god, whose domain extends over shepherds, hunting, panic, and folk practices, especially of music or prophecy. He is a companion to Dionysus, and travels with his nymphs.

🐑 Often, but not always, he is depicted as a satyr. Other times, he is represented with horns, but no hooves. Still other times, he is shown as humans, but in the company of satyrs, as well as normal goats.

🐑 He is mischievous, a giver of terror, as well as an eager pursuer of love and pleasure. But he is also a guardian of flocks, a practitioner of animal husbandry, so he is not entirely flippant and impulsive.

🐑 Essentially, Pan was a playful, festive spirit who enjoyed toying with the nerves of strangers and engaging in bestial mating rituals, but he also fully committed himself when guarding the vulnerable. He likes to watch people squirm, but he doesn't want to see the innocent flock actually harmed. Thus...

Asteroid Pan [4450] represents teasing, stimulation, excitement, and impulse control (or lack thereof). He also correlates to roles and relations based in pursuit, such as leader-follower and hunter-target.

Copy-text: 4450,3671,2063,771,577,65,69230,875,3360,60

Prominent natal placements of Pan indicate how such a position as his is fulfilled or obtained by the native.

For others who practice a faith that involves some form of the hellenic pantheon, I have listed how I interpret natal blessings from object-asteroid aspects here and are interested in my approach. You can interweave those basic interpretations with the ones I’ve provided and get a rough approximation of how I'd interpret the aspect.

Tight and significant conjunctions will create a sort of "wildcard leader" aspect to the native, empowering the native to vacillate between solemnity and joy when engaging with that role, while oppositions will invite a tension or controversy (that ultimately contributes to personal growth, if the native is healthy) from either pursuit of desire or acts of guidance.

🐑 John F. Kennedy is a great example of a Pan-Sun conjunction native. A steady leader who instilled feelings of unity, known for his lustful pursuits, maintaining good humor in the midst of strife, but certainly someone who spooked certain contemporaries.

🐑 Fascinatingly, his partner, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, has her own special relevant placement, a Pan-Venus conjunction opposite Pluto. Venus is the planet of values and is correlated to ideals and partners, so a conjunction draws her rational mind and physical needs to Pan-like personalities. Pluto opposition correlates this magnetism to her own generational traumas and transformations. That her Pan-Sun partner was assassinated sitting right beside to her? Worth noting.

🐑 Beyond her connection to her husband, however, Onassis was also a leader of the flock herself in her time as First Lady, mainly in that she became the face of an aristocratic American style. While her status is permanently tied to the tragedy of her narrative and the shock of the JFK assassination, her light, 'tasteful' ensembles contributed to the guidelines of upper-crust American femininity.

🐑 Meanwhile, Marie Antoinette had Pan conjunct Pluto, and we know where her indulgence lead her. Beyond the obvious tie from debauchery to death, this aspect also suggests a dread or anxiety tied to the concept of shepherding, or being in a position to guide.

A few other noteworthy individuals with Pan conjunctions and oppositions include:

Rita Hayworth, Machine Gun Kelly, and Empress Josephine all have Pan conjunct their Ascendant.

Lucille Ball's Pan is conjunct her Pallas-Saturn conjunction.

Pan conjunct Neptune was an aspect in Catherine the Great's chart. Meanwhile, Pan opposite Neptune features in the chart of Fiona Apple.

Pan conjunct Lilith is present in the charts of both Kurt Cobain and Princess Diana!

Marilyn Monroe's Pan was opposite her Vertex, and thus conjunct her Antivertex.

Squares and trines create relationships between that planet's domain and acts of pursuit and guardianship.

🐑 Like Jackie O, Tobias Forge of Ghost also has a Pan-Pluto opposition, but this is complemented by tight trines with Neptune and multiple Muse asteroids, as well as a square with Orpheus. In this case the aspect with Pluto manifests with an alternative influence on culture, as a frontman for a band which inspires both fanatical devotion and a consistent amount of controversy.

🐑 His project itself is a mockery of the powerful institution that is the Catholic Church, but concerts and fan spaces are a place of comfort, and funds from a certain cover song are literally donated to a charity which organizes safe spaces for the vulnerable (summer camps for trans kids).

🐑 Obviously, Neptune and the Muses correlate to art, which connects those Pan themes perfectly to his music. Even better, Neptune rules spirituality, delusion, and mystery. The band's theme is religious, and all members used to be anonymous until a dismissed court case forced Tobias to publicly identify himself, though all other members retain anonymity.

🐑 Britney Spears's Pan is trine her Vertex, Sun, and Lilith, as well as being opposite her Moon. The trine aspects, especially with the Sun, positions a spotlight on her ability to collect massive amounts of fans (aka followers) by making her own choices, and committing to the honest, unapologetic performance of sensual, intimate power.

🐑 The Pan-Moon opposition further speaks to her past and sense of self being in direct conflict with follower-following relationships. This may reflects her struggle to reclaim personal financial autonomy from her former guardians, but I'd shift focus to her relationship with the public, and how contentious it became when she tried to grow and leave her chaste teen image behind, prioritizing adult expression over imposed responsibility to censor herself to comply with outrage from parents.

🐑 This contention actually fed into and fueled Britney's narrative: the rejection of her after she expressed her wild side empowered her to pursue her desires as a new type of female role model, one that had been slut-shamed but come out the other side all the more iconic and beloved. (There's a lot more that worth exploring there, too.)

🐑 Liam Gallagher of Oasis has his Pan squaring his Sun, Mars, and Midheaven. Anyone who knows the fraught history of the band won't be surprised to see an aspect that promises challenges in how taking a leadership role relates to overall growth, animal instincts, and the personal pinnacle of honor.

A few other noteworthy individuals with natal Pan trines and squares (along with other placements) include:

Megan Fox's Pan is conjunct her Mercury, trine her Mars-Ascendant conjunction, and square her Moon.

Britney Spears's Pan is trine her Vertex, Sun, and Lilith, and opposite her Moon.

Liam Gallagher of Oasis has his Pan squaring his Sun, Mars, and Midheaven.

Major Synastry: What Synastry Aspects with Pan Mean

Synastry involving Pan indicates a relationship which instills anxiety, lust, and comfort simultaneously.

Conjunctions reveal a focal point of frenetic, kinetic energy in the dynamic. The Pan individual engages with the other's object like a big, red button that is begging to be pressed. They know it will fire up the other's nerves in whichever way, but it's just so tempting...

🐑 For example, two natives with a double Pan conjunction share a raw and mutual lust, a desire to play chase with one another. This can mean quick, stimulating, and playful foreplay. Both also want to see the other person's desire. This placement doesn't necessarily want a hunt - it wants a game, some sort of race or play-fight where both members are equally participatory.

🐑 It also indicates a willingness to play with each other's minds. On some level, both individuals like the idea of having the power to give the other a scare. They each like the feeling of messing with the other's head, no matter how much they care.

🐑 House overlays are crucial for mutual conjunctions. I'm looking at a Pan-Pan conjunction that lands in one of the native's 12th every time, regardless of zodiac and house system. This empowers the aspect of fear in the relationship for this native. It also transfers their pursuit to the realm of fantasy. They may desire to take that role in the relationship, but they are more likely to imagine it than to actually act upon it.

🐑 It also means the other person in the relationship may have no idea the lust is mutual. The 12th house native relegates it too well. This might frustrate the other, making them feel denied or rejected. They may sense reciprocation, but they feel a need to push the 12th house person until they break down and express it. But the 12th house native also won't be able to clearly see the other's playfulness and aggression for what it is: a signal of lust and even care, missed due to doubt.

🐑 For another example, Pan conjunct Saturn would give the Pan native an easy way to push the Saturn native's buttons. Saturn will clam up at any suggestiveness from or about Pan, mostly because any wildness they exhibit makes them feel less in control.

🐑 Ultimately, however, Pan is a guardian of the flock as much of a member of Dionysus's retinue. Pan can contribute to Saturn's goals and take the reins when necessary. Pan makes Saturn anxious, but ultimately Saturn comes to see the potential for stability there.

🐑 Saturn has major power to turn Pan on, but it takes a while to build. Pan may not consider Saturn that way at first, only to realize after some time that Saturn drives them absolutely crazy, and then they'll be hard pressed to stop fantasizing over them.

🐑 Pan is a follower as much as a pursuer, and if Saturn accepts their advances, Pan will adopt them as one of their own, and be sure to care for them regardless of whatever chaos is going on. If Saturn shies away, Pan may get frustrated and lash out, or may try to tear down whatever stability Saturn relies upon.

🐑 Princess Diana had her Pan conjunct the Pluto of Prince Charles, and Dodi al Fayed had his Pan conjunct her Ceres-Vesta conjunction.

🐑 Diana's ability to garner a following is tied to the tragedies defining Charles personally as well as those of his generation. Diana's grief and devotion connects to Dodi's capacity as a pursuer and follower. If you know anything even generally about these three, you likely immediately understand how accurate this is.

A few other noteworthy pairs with Pan conjunctions in their synastry:

Empress Josephine's Pan was conjunct Napoleon I's Vertex.

Prince Philip's Pan was conjunct Queen Elizabeth II's Pallas-Pluto conjunction.

Nancy Spungen's Pan was conjunct Sid Vicious's Lilith.

Megan Fox's Pan is conjunct Machine Gun Kelly's Mercury-Pallas conjunction.

Oppositions indicate a more fixed pursuer-pursued dynamic. There's a similar flow of energy, but it seeps out, and is both more confrontational and more indirect than with conjunctions. Pan seeks to provoke the other into revealing that part of themself.

🐑 For example, I see Pan opposite a Chiron-Juno conjunction. This is already made more complex by the involvement of two objects, but essentially, the Pan native enjoys maneuvering the other into exposing their romantic hurts, and even gets pleasure from indirectly forcing them into embodying a spousal or sensual archetype. Chiron-Juno finds the teasing, erratic attention of Pan frustrating, both sexually and emotionally, but also compelling.

🐑 So, that sounds really abstract, but how this plays out in real life, is we have a pair where one is always needling at the other about their experiences with relationships. Maybe the Chiron-Juno native is inexperienced, or has traumas. Once the Pan native learns about this, they find it hard to resist dredging those up whenever the chance arises. Something in them just likes watching the other squirm over their romantic insecurities.

🐑 As for the second part, the Pan native will find it exciting when the other has to fill the roles represented by Chiron and Juno. This is the soul's caretaker (Chiron) and the erotic counterpart in body and mind (Juno). Combined, we see a mistress-as-missus figure, the second wife, or simply the erotic healer. Chiron's link to the 'hurt healer' and Juno's statistical link to infidelity and eroticism may also suggest the willingness of the

🐑 Again, houses play a big role here. In this chart, Pan falls into the Pan native's tropical 6th and sidereal 7th, so the other's Chiron-Juno conjunction falls into their tropical 12th and sidereal 1st. The reason why the Pan native feels the need to push the other's buttons about is because they see the other's pain as something hidden from them that is key to understanding their place in this world, and yet also is a reflection of a crucial part of themselves, and so they feel the need to take control in their day to day interactions and of their relationship, specifically by exhibiting the leadership and predatory traits of Pan.

🐑 Let's look at another chart. I see Pan opposite a Pluto-Nymphe conjunction. Nymphe is correlated to nymphs, who commonly kept company with Pan in his travels. This looks like a relationship with both natural comradery and tension.

🐑 The Pluto-Nymphe individual may alternate between playfully elusive and intensely confrontational. The individual is both drawn to and afraid of being captured or hunted, and exposes their wilder side when they want to intimidate others. Their visceral desires and bright spirits only make them seem more ethereal, and thus, out of reach.

🐑 However, this only makes for all the more fun a game to play in the eyes of the Pan native. No ethereal spirit is above a good trick and no force of nature is too powerful to chase down, and besides, a target that positions itself as out of reach is only going to be more satisfying to take in hand.

🐑 On the whole, the amusement and protectiveness that Pan brings can provide some much needed levity to the Pluto-Nymphe native's fears, but the opposition and the asteroid involved will make the link a magnetic, if at times humbling and challenging, one.

🐑The Pan native will also encourage the other's sexuality, and may try to provoke, trick, or guide the other in their embodiment of raw sensual power as a natural force. In fact, the Pan native might be most delighted to find that when pushed to the brink, the Pluto-Nymphe native turns the tables and puts them in a position of prey instead!

Some noteworthy examples of Pan oppositions in synastry:

Napoleon I's Pan was opposite Empress Josephine's Lilith.

Prince Albert's Pan was opposite Queen Victoria's Vesta.

Nancy Spungen's Pan was opposite Sid Vicious's Pluto.

Megan Fox's Pan is opposite Machine Gun Kelly's Pluto-Lilith-Juno conjunction.

I had originally intended to go into sextiles and quintiles in natal charts; squares, tries, sextiles, and quintiles in synastry charts; as well as how aspects to specific related asteroids play out, but I think that's a little ambitious considering everything on my plate right now. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed the post, and as always...

If you're interested in more interpretations of Pan in the natal or synastry chart (or even the divisional/harmonic charts) feel free to reply, message, ask, or reblog! I have a lot of projects I'm working on but I love to chat.

[riptideripley]

I wanted to know if you could do a Rhea Ripley x fem reader imagine, where R is like this blonde/or poc bombshell kinda of like Kelly Kelly. Most wrestlers look at her as a valet and like really ditzy, but she’s with the judgement day. Like she always wears pink and white, versus them wearing black and purple, but during a feud with another group they just insult her and Rhea tries to stick up for her. Then she proves herself in the ring by beating down her opponent, and they’re all like we never knew you could do that. Then it’s kinda Rhea taking her more seriously as a wrestler. Bonus if they’re already dating, and Rhea never really saw her as more than a valet and she just wants to prove herself. Thank You!!!!!

The Valet

summary:You were the valet for the Judgement day. With close studying of matches,you had a few tricks up your sleeve and finally got to showcase them

(story)wordcount:612

a/n:tried my best with this,sorry for the wait!

You were a new addition to the Judgement day,everyone saw you differently than the rest of the group. Your personality was completely different than the rest of the group and you were their Valet. You were also known as Rhea’s girlfriend,being with her for 2 years. Your attire was different,personality,everything. So often people saw you as a ditzy woman.

You were backstage sitting on Rhea’s lap before the promo with Damage Ctrl. You checked the time and got up to fix your outfit,along with a few final touches to your makeup. Rhea smiled,she loved your personality and just you in general. People wondered how you two were even a couple due to you having polar opposite wrestling personalities but outside of WWE she was just the same as you. “You ready princess?” she asked sticking her hand out. “Of course!” you responded and took her hand,walking to the gorilla alongside the rest of the Judgement day.

The music cued and you all walked out,Rhea with a microphone in her hand. “Now now Bayley. Don’t get beside yourself,I mean come on you really think you could beat me?” Rhea spoke as she got in the ring with the assistance of Dominik. You got in with her and stood next to her,clinging onto her arm like a baby while holding her title across your shoulder. Just when Rhea was about to speak,Dakota interrupted her. “Of course she can! As long as your silly dumb bitch doesn’t get involved.” she spoke,pointing at you. Rhea clenched her jaw looking down at you,making you look up at her. You gently dropped her title and stared at Dakota,her mocking how you skip with your hands behind your back when walking with the Judgement day.

Rhea was about to speak when you suddenly kicked Dakota in her stomach making her drop instantly. You threw several blows at Bayley and Iyo,knocking them off as you grabbed Dakota. You wrapped your hand around her throat and lifted her up,choke slamming her into the mat. Rhea stood there in shock along with Damien,Finn and Dominik cheered you on along with the crowd. You drop kicked and head butted Bayley,grabbing Iyo’s hand and twisting it slowly before throwing her out of the ring. You then dragged Dakota into the center of the mat,climbing to the top rope and doing a moonsault. You then got up smiling and did a cute finger wave towards Dakota(similar to Rhea),jumping onto Rhea’s back. Dominik grabs Rhea’s title as he helps you two out of the ring,Finn and Damien following.

“That was amazing!” Dom spoke once backstage,making you smile. “Never knew you had that in you (your name)..think we need to schedule you a match with Dakota soon” Damien said,getting a hum of agreement from Rhea. “Not unless I get some training first” you told him making Rhea’s eyes widen a little. “You did all of that..with no training?” “Mhm! I just pay very close attention to your matches along with others” you responded and planted a kiss to her cheek. She smiled and gave you a soft kiss,dragging you to Vince’s office. “Vince,I have a request. Can we start getting her into training along with matches? I mean you saw how she was tonight” she asked politely glancing at Triple H in the corner. They exchanged a look of agreement and nodded,accepting her request.

From that day forward,you wrestled alongside Rhea. She began taking you more seriously in wrestling and you were the new tag team champions.

[magicalrocketships]

ok im ready to be converted. what f1 fics do u recommend to start my full brain rot?

EXCELLENT, my plan is working (make people like what I like). Here is a very small and somewhat random selection, mostly Daniel/Max except where stated. Extremely loosely grouped. I've said if they're focused on them racing (grid), even if it's an AU. I have not associated anyone's ao3 handle with their tumblr name, so apologies for that. Do come back and tell me your thoughts and feelings. (!!)

F1 TASTING MENU (Maxiel Flavour)

Amuse Bouche: an opening vid

maxiel x 2022 season - “i would just draw it at like, i wouldn’t say love” by @daniel-enchante

Starters (shorter (ish) fics)

Cool Things to Say to Your Soulmate - words by powerfulowl, art by loveleah (grid, E): Only dumbasses get goosed. If a Soulmate Goose of Enforcement comes to intervene in your love life, it is a clear sign you have fucked up. You’re so bad at navigating human relationships that the universe thinks a violent waterfowl impervious to damage and capable of walking through walls will actually improve the situation. 

i carry your heart with me by capsize (grid, M): “What’s up little guy?” Daniel asks – because like his car, Max’s heart is a boy too – and moves the heart from the desk into his lap. “Is Max not paying attention to you? He can be a bit of a cunt, yeah? No, I know.” Or, five times someone found Max’s heart, and one time they kept it.

Just kissed you hello by charlotte_stant (grid, M): Everything freezes for a long moment—and then Daniel’s heart is back to beating and it’s fine, he can see how funny the situation is. “Maximus, my brother, my comrade,” he says, “what the fuck, mate. I’m not gay, ok?"

Amuse Bouche: another vid

max and daniel at redbull by @love-leah

Main Course (longer fics)

Good To You by TheNorthRemembers (grid, E): Max walks and talks like he has a big dick. He always has, and it’s not like Daniel ever really thought about Max’s dick, but he just- He assumed, maybe. That the equipment would match the attitude. That at the very least what Max is packing, would be completely average. The fact, that apparently it’s not- Well. Daniel doesn’t know what to do with that information, in more ways than one. Or: Max a small dick, Daniel is into it; lots of sex and a bit of angst ensue

my kind's your kind by hardlythewiser (grid, series, E, Max/Kelly/Daniel, resolving with Max/Daniel): Max can talk about it now, out of bed, casual. Kelly helped him practice, talking about it like it was just another activity, like her tennis lessons or nights out with friends, ever since that first time. But she doesn't say anything now.

To the Victor Belong the Spoils by powerfulowl (hunger games AU, E): Daniel didn’t kill anyone in the arena. He’s the one untarnished Hunger Games victor. The beautiful boy who stole the hearts of Panem with a fishing net and a smile. He can kiss babies and sell sun cream and fuck who they tell him to fuck and suck on the fingers that feed him– he’s not gonna bite. But then Max wins the Hunger Games. Max bites.

Amuse Bouche: vid time

"what's going on between you and max verstappen?" by @love-leah

Dessert (where the focus is on sex)

Sweeter than I ever knew by purples_all_the_way_down (grid, girls, E): Daniel has never had an orgasm. Somehow (Charles, it's always Charles), Max gets involved. Things get complicated.

I just want to know you like nobody ever has by 33Max (grid, E): They are in the bathroom, Daniel had insisted that he needed a shower if they were going to do this. He’s still damp, Max hadn’t even waited for him to dry himself off before he was pushing Daniel against the counter and dropping to his knees behind him.

Coffee (something different)

both hands tied on the wheel by kayshea (George Russell/Toto Wolff, grid, E): George feels, stupidly, like a cat that’s been stroked. Like his skin is electric. It’s what everyone has been saying to him all day, but it feels different, somehow, coming from Toto.

if i should come upon your house lonely by withfeathers (Lewis Hamilton/Hanna Prater/Sebastian Vettel, grid, E): The summer after Sebastian's retirement, Lewis visits Switzerland for a week. Nothing about it goes as he expected.

[euthanizeher]

0̲1̲.̲ ／ㅤ ✿ ⸺ sudden epiphany

after putting off reading through 4dbarbie's non-dualism posts i finally said that enough was enough. funnily enough, i read @4dkellysworld 4dbarbie adaption post on how to realise self. i'm not sure why i read the second post first instead of going in order, but i fully plan on reading through them all.

p.s, anything that is indented comes straight from 4dkelly's adaption post about realising self!

p.p.s, all dividers belong to @v6que.

There is no external life, there is no need to use any methods to recondition or train your mind. It is much faster, much easier and you are hundreds times happier just letting go of the mind. The process is one of letting go more and more until you find yourself having nothing, being nothing.

immediately i felt relieved upon reading this. being in the law of attraction & assumption, and shifting community meant that i had to "recondition" my mind if i wasn't manifesting my desires - to constantly think only positive affirmations. if i wanted to be blonde, i'd have to think "i am blonde, i love being blonde, i adore my blonde hair" constantly throughout the day. and it was tiring.

Stop thinking you are Vanessa, the thoughts of needing this or that drop away. By thinking you are it, you create a character who desires and then identify yourself with it. You can only have when you let go of thinking that you don't.

this seriously spoke to me as i can recall countless times i desperately tried any method i could, two cup, 5x55 challenge, pillow method, you name it! but it makes sense now. i was caught up with wanting and thus identified with a character who wanted, when in reality i always had.

i say "identified" and not "became" because, and correct me if i'm wrong, you cannot become anything - only identify with. the only thing you are is self.

I've said it before, you don't have to convince Vanessa that she's unreal. Just stop taking the thoughts you don't like for truth or reality. There is no convincing involved, it is all letting go... you're holding so tightly onto your ideas now, that's why you can't see their falsity. 19 You don't have to convince anyone of anything. What I teach here is to leave your mind alone, that is all. Don't go along with it. 2 Thoughts will keep on coming for a while, just now you know they have nothing to do with you.

i understand. simply observe the thoughts as clouds passing by, do not take them as truth and do not fight them. previously when i was still in the loa community i would combat them. a thought would enter, "you won't shift!" and i would fight him back, "yes i will! i already am in my desired reality! i am a master of shifting!" but this isn't right, as kelly said there's no need to convince anyone - especially your own mind.

First you start doubting "the facts", then you become indifferent to the facts, lastly there are no facts anymore and you can establish your own.

the beautiful process of shedding the ego! metamorphosis.

her post is rather long (and informative, go read!!) so i don't want this entry to be taken up of me nodding and going "yep so true!". instead as i read through it yesterday and allowed the info to soak into my brain i felt enlightened. i wondered why on earth didn't i read through this earlier? for the first time since late 2020, my mind became quiet on its own.

i observed the world differently, as if it were a dream - a lucid dream, because that's exactly what it is. it was mind-blowingly peaceful. a damn breath of fresh air to be told to simply let go, wholly, instead of repeating affirmations 69x, get into SATS every night, etc.

although, i will admit a part of her feels anxious at being told to "let go". many of us from the loa, subliminal, and shifting community, LOVE doing things and putting in an active effort because it's been instilled in our minds that hard work pays off. however, i shall only observe her fears and treat it with indifference.🦋

if you made it this far, thank you for reading! ⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡

[f1goat]

fwb x lando norris - part four

In which you decide to become friends with benefits with Lando Norris, that can't be a bad idea right?

playlist x masterlist

part one part two part three

Two days later are Max and Lando sitting in front of each other at a nice lunchroom in Monaco. They have a small week of, not having to race this weekend again. In front of them are standing some plates. Max is eating some frites, while Lando tries to cut his burger with his knife without letting it fall apart. He takes a bite, enjoying the taste of it. Lando thinks about bringing you here with him, but then he remembers the rules between you two. 

“So, how did you end up in a situation like this?” Max asks him. 

Max is one of the few people that know about Lando his feelings for you. Max was the one who always comforted Lando about it. He knows that his friend is head over heals for you, but he also knows that this new situation is a bad idea. Max has no idea of what you feel for Lando, he just doesn’t want his friend to get his hopes up to be let down even harder then before. He wants to tell Lando something like that, maybe he will tell him something like that after hearing the whole story, but he already knows the reaction. Lando won’t stop getting involved with you, he probably thinks this is the only opportunity he has. Why would he give that up?

Lando explains the story to Max, he tries to be detailed so Max can understand him well. He leaves out some details, but can’t help himself to tell Max that you came over to his driver room to congratulate him after getting second last week. 

“I know it’s a mess Max, you don’t have to tell me. But what if this is the only real chance I have to get closer to her?” Lando ends his story by telling Max what he thinks, “I don’t want to ruin that.”

Max sighs softly. Of course he gets his friend. But it’s pretty stupid and this will blow up in his face at the end of it. This can’t end well. 

“Lando,” Max starts slowly, “do you really think this is smart?”

“No,” Lando answers honestly. 

“Okay, let me be honest with you. This isn’t going to end well. I don’t know Y/N personally, so I can’t speak about her intentions or feelings. But I do know you and you’re getting your hopes up that something romantic is going to happen between the two of you. Believe me, I do hope something like that happens, but if if doesn’t then you’ll be crushed,” Max tells his friend. 

Lando nods, “But what if it’s worth it?”

“Is the sex so good it’ll be worth it to end up at the bottom?” Max questions a bit surprised. 

Lando laughs, but doesn’t answer Max his question. 

“Come on Lando, it can’t be so good that it’s worth the trouble? Do you even know how many other options you have, there are probably hundred girls who are willing to fuck with you if you only ask,” Max exclaims. 

“She’s ruining it for me. I’m pretty sure I’ll never have the same sex with any other girl,” Lando confesses eventually. 

Max laughs, “You’re the absolute worst.” 

Lando drops the subject and talks with Max about their lives. He likes to hear about Max his life with Kelly and his stepdaughter. 

**

You’re texting for a bit with some friends when you see a notification that makes your heart skip a beat. You quickly reply.

Lando: I miss you

Lando: let’s do something

Y/N: like what?

Lando: send me your address, I’ll bring some snacks and we can watch a movie

Y/N: that sounds nice, bring some popcorn xx

You’re feeling overwhelmed because of Lando. When he told you that he wanted to do something you instantly thought that he meant sex. That’s how friends with benefits work, right? It feels nice that he wants to do something else with you. You feel yourself getting flustered because of it. 

A small hour later Lando is sitting next to you on the couch. You’re discussing movie choices with him. You decide to let him chose a movie, in the mean time you make the snacks ready that he brought with him. Lando has brought multiple kinds of popcorn, you look surprised at them. The normal sweet and salt popcorns are there, but he also brought multiple other one’s. Salted caramel, normal caramel, sweet and salty mix and even something with chocolate. Does he have some kind of love for popcorn you didn’t discover yet? He has also brought multiple kinds of chips. Does he not know how to shop properly for two persons you wonder. He brought so many things with him. 

“Lando, you do know that it’s just the two of us tonight right?” You ask when you return with some bowls full with popcorn and chips. 

“Yes,” Lando replies.

“Then why have you brought snacks as if you’re organizing a party?” You ask further.

Lando smiles, “I didn’t know which ones you’d like.”

“So you bought all of them?” You ask surprised.

“Not all of them!” Lando quickly says, “but I did bring some options, just to be safe.”

You laugh at the boy. 

That night you end up with Lando in your own bed for the first time. He is cuddled up against you, holding you close to himself. You are getting tired. Would it be weird just to sleep? You and Lando didn’t do anything expect for cuddling a bit and watching a movie together. Does he expect something more tonight? Or would he be fine with just sleeping as well? 

You turn your head a bit to look at Lando. You notice that his phone is stuck on the same TikTok video for over a while now. Lando his eyes are closed. His mouth is parted slightly, letting out soft snores every couple seconds. You smile at the sight of him. You take the phone out of his hands and put it into the charger. Then you press a small kiss against Lando his cheek. You position yourself in a comfortable sleep position against Lando. 

“Good night Lan,” you whisper softly before also falling asleep.

**

That next morning Lando is fucking you under your shower. You’re pressed up against the wall. Lando is holding you up while thrusting in and out of you. 

“You feel so good around me,” Lando tells you while increasing his pace. 

You let out a soft moan. You let your lips connect to Lando his neck. Kissing and sucking on it while he keeps increasing the pace he’s fucking you with. 

“It’s unfair,” Lando says with a husky voice, “I will never find anyone else that feels this good around my cock.”

“You’re ruining me,” you tell Lando, “I can never enjoy sex with anyone else as much as I do with you.”

Lando feels his cum dripping out of him while hearing your words. He can only hopes it true. He hopes he’s actually ruining you for everyone else. That would be a nice thing to do. If he can’t experience sex like this with any other girl, it’s only fair that you can’t experience it with any other man as well. Al though, it would be the best that neither of you ever has sex with another one again he thinks. That would be the absolute best.

**

That weekend you spent all of your time with Lando. You have left your own apartment to spent the weekend at his. It wasn’t totally planned, but you’re glad it happened. You have discovered a lot of new places at Lando his apartment. Mainly by being pressed up against them. Like now. You were trying to cook a nice meal for you and Lando, but something went wrong in that process.

“Taking me like a good girl,” Lando tells you after letting out a soft moan. 

He peels down the straps of your tank top, quickly leaving you in your bra. He decides to remove that was well. Lando let his free hand reach to your boobs, massaging them softly. You enjoy the feeling. It surreal to think about this situation. You’re lying over his kitchen counter, his finger is tracing figures on your clit while he’s fucking you from behind in the mean time. 

Lando presses multiple kisses around your neck and shoulders. He sucks on a bit of skin, leaving a small mark behind. He looks at it. He can’t deny that he likes the feeling of you marked as his. Fuck. He sucks on another bit of skin around your neck, making sure it’s low enough to hide since he doesn’t know if you’re comfortable with it. When his mouth leaves your neck, he quickly sees the red spot. He searches another spot. 

“W..what are you doing?” You ask a bit surprised. 

Lando stops quickly. His pace decreases. You sigh softly. You try to mimic his earlier actions, you need to keep feeling him. He keeps silent. 

“I didn’t tell you to stop, right?” You ask him. You grab his head softly from behind you, pressing it against your neck. “I just asked what you were doing,” you continue. Lando is already increasing his pace again. He grins at you. His dirty girl. 

“I’m showing other guys that you’re not interested in them,” Lando tells you with a new found confidence. You let out a soft chuckle. “Need to show everyone that you’re already getting fucked good enough,” Lando continues, “Maybe even George will get it and fuck off.”

He tests you for a bit when pressing his lips higher against your neck. He places some small kisses on top of it. He waits for you, wanting to give you the chance to say no. He would totally get it if you didn’t want to be marked somewhere that everyone could see. 

“Show them,” you tell Lando.

A moan comes from your mouth when Lando softly starts sucking on your skin. It’s all too much for you. His mouth pressed against your neck, his hand massaging your boobs, his finger making circles on your clit and his cock inside of you. Before you know it you’re reaching your high. Lando is quick to follow you. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” Lando tells you. You’re shaking on your legs. Lando smiles at you. He loves the way he makes you feel. He loves the fact that he’s the one who did that to you. 

“Go take a shower baby, I’ll finish dinner,” he tells you. 

You show him a grateful smile before walking to the bathroom. He’s way too sweet for somebody who just wants to fuck you. Things like this, and maybe the possessiveness, are making you wonder if there’s a chance between you two. A chance for something more. You quickly discard the thought. You can’t think like that. Thinking like that will ruin everything before you’ll know it. 

**

“So you spend the whole weekend at his?” Your friend asks amazed. You have told her about the thing between you and Lando a few days earlier. Now you’re sitting in a small cafe for some drinks together, you’ve a lot of catching up to do.

“Yeah,” you tell her.

“That’s not typical friends with benefits behavior,” she tells you a bit surprised.

“We mostly fucked?” You suggests.

Your friends just laughs at you, “You’re already in too deep.”

**

“Can’t you come work for McLaren next season,” Lando asks you with a playful smile.

It’s Tuesday and Lando is laying next to you on your bed. You were scrolling on your socials. Lando is pressed up against your back, cuddling you and holding you extremely close to yourself. Tomorrow the both of you are leaving to the next race destination, Zandvoort. It’s quite obvious that you can’t take the same plane, or even been seen together this weekend. It would break one of your carefully made rules.

Lando had been whining about it earlier today. Making up excuses about wanting to have sex with you on a plane, instead of telling you that he will miss you. The last days you were almost constantly by his side. 

“If you’ll be on my media team we can spend every race weekend together,” he suggests. 

You chuckle. 

“I don’t know yet what I’ll do next season,” you tell Lando, “Maybe I’ll start as a graphic designer somewhere.” 

He looks at you. “You can be the graphic designer of Quadrant,” he tells you quickly. 

“Or maybe I’ll just do nothing for a whole year,” you go on.

“Then you can come with me to every race,” Lando says without even thinking about it. 

You laugh. He’s too sweet. You can only hope he means every word of it. But deep down you know that he’s just playfully flirting with you and that he doesn’t mean the words he keeps telling you. 

“We will see Lan, let’s just focus on this weekend for now,” you tell him. 

“I do want to fuck you somewhere in Holland though,” Lando says, “I want to do it in as many countries as possible with you.”

**

The race is exciting to follow for you. Lando is fighting hard to keep his fifth place. George is also doing well this time, he’s third at this moment. You don’t care as much about that, you’re mainly focused on Lando. The only down part, George his podium will give you a lot of extra work. You thank yourself for already having some content ready for the scenario he’ll get a podium. You’re just in case content has always proven itself to be quite handy. 

When the race is finished George and Lando are still on the same position. Meaning you have a podium ceremony to attend. Normally you like the podium ceremonies, but this time you rather want to do something else. Or maybe someone else. When you walk towards the podium you quickly send a text to Lando.

Y/N: proud of u!!! You did so well!

You put your phone back in your pocket, before rushing to the rest of your team. You fake a smile and congratulate everyone with the amazing team result. In the mean time you keep holding on to your phone, shooting a small video of George while he’s getting out of the car but also waiting for a response from Lando. 

When George’s getting out of his car the interviewer is quick to reach him. The man quickly grabs his chance to ask some questions to George.

In the mean time Lando is also out of his car. He is proud of himself. Fifth is an amazing result. He talks about with his team members, following the podium with a side eye. He grabs his phone out of a locker, wanting to see if anyone -you- texted him. When he sees your text message, he feels a smile growing on his face. You’re too cute. He quickly texts you back.

Lando: thank u cutie, will I see you later?

“So George, want to thank someone in particular?” The interviewer asks.

Lando his attention is fixed on the screen by now, curious what George is going to say. He will probably thank Toto a thousand times for the amazing opportunity at Mercedes, or maybe Lewis for all of his tutoring. Lando thinks about who he will thank if he ever gets a question like that. Of course his team, but maybe also a more special someone that makes sure he’s in a good mood every weekend because of her support. It would be romantic if he could ever thank you. 

You also look at George. You can already dream his answer. It’s about the team, Toto and Lewis. He has given the same answer every time. When you were still his girlfriend you always dreamt that he would mention you one time, but he never did. You look at your phone screen, typing back a message to Lando.

Y/N: I hope so, but normally we go out with the team to celebrate a podium …

Y/N: i don’t know if I can make up an excuse, George will probably drag me over to the club

Lando sighs softly at your answer. He knows you can’t do anything about it, but he still feels disappointed. Maybe he can ask Max to come to the club with him? Or some team members of his own. 

“I’d like to thank Y/N.”

Did he hear that right? Lando turns all his attention to the screen. Did George just thank you? Why would the boy do that? Fuck. 

“I want to thank her for all of her amazing support.”

This has to be some kind of sick joke Lando thinks exhausted. George has never thanked you, but now when the two of you are broken up for a few months and Lando is trying to get to know you better (in a kinda weird way), George decides to thank you? Fucking hell. 

“And of course I also want to thank the team ..”

Lando tries to spot you in the crowd. That isn’t hard since the camera’s quickly find you after George his statement. He recognizes your nervous look directly. You’re shaking. Are you happy? Are you impressed because of George words? Lando can only hope that isn’t the case. He sighs. If you were only wearing his jumper now then he would have felt so much better. But now everyone thinks of you as George his girl once again. The only thing that’s making him feel slightly better is when he sees the small red mark in your neck when the cameras zoom in on your face.

You don’t know what to do. You know that there are multiple cameras focused on you right now, so you can’t send George some sort of angry look. What would happen if you walk away? You want nothing more than to scream at George. What is he thinking. With him making statements like this everyone will think the two of you are still dating or dating again. Fuck. This is so fucking bad. You try to turn around, wanting nothing more then to walk away from all of this. Toto is quick to grab your pulse, looking sternly at you. 

“I’m not feeling well,” you tell him, “I want to go.”

“After the podium. You wouldn’t want George to miss you with the podium, right?” Toto asks with a fake sweet tone. It’s making you sick. You sigh. 

Lando can’t help himself, he’s actually angry on everyone right now. He was in such a happy mood, it was such a good day. The race went well, he has brought some nice points with him, you texted him a cute thing as congratulations but now this. He types on his phone again, giving your earlier messages a reaction. 

Lando: forget it, will see u later.

When you read Lando his message you feel your heart sinking. You notice the harsh tone in the message. Great, he’s also mad. You don’t answer it. You plan for yourself to get drunk tonight to forget all about this mess. 

In his dressing room is Lando making the same plans. He decides to ask some coworkers and other drivers to go out tonight. He can use some distraction. He needs to clear his mind. Because right now, he can only think about you and George. What will happen next? Will you take George back after his sweet words? Maybe you did actually use him as a rebound. 

His phone vibrates, Lando can’t suppress the hope that it’s a message from you. When he reads the notification he sees that it’s Max who’s texting him. So the podium ceremony is over. 

Max: did you hear those words from George?

Max: you better go talk with y/n, she looked so uncomfortable after it

Max: this was probably so humiliating for her, everyone will think that they’re back together

Lando: heard them. Maybe she wants him back, idk anymore

Lando: join me for the club tonight?

part five

[wingsoverlagos]

The Evolving Story of Kim Bennett, Pt. 1: Before Lewisohn

0. Mark Lewisohn’s Star Witness 1. An Introduction and Primer 2. The Evolving Story of Kim Bennett, Pt. 1: Before Lewisohn >You Are Here< 3. The Classic™ Contract Story, and Why Lewisohn Distrusts It 4. The Evolving Story of Kim Bennett, Pt. 2: Tune In 5. Lewisohn’s Other Sources 6. Lewisohn’s Portrayal of Kim Bennett & George Martin

After two posts and as many months of build-up, it’s finally time to look at Kim Bennett’s presence in Beatles history before Mark Lewisohn’s Tune In. As a refresher, Kim Bennett was a music plugger involved in a brief chapter of the Beatles' story, who Lewisohn draws on as a crucial witness to ~debunk the myth~ of how the Beatles’ first landed their recording contract with Parlophone. I’ve previously shown an example of Kim Bennett’s presence in Beatledom here, in an issue of Beatles Book Monthly, just a few pages before the name of a young Mark Lewisohn. I’ve also discussed some of the ways Lewisohn slants a story when he’s set on overturning a classic narrative – you can find that here.

Section 1: Mark Lewisohn on Kim Bennett

Part of the appeal of Mark Lewisohn’s Beatles-signing scoop is Kim Bennett’s oft-stated absence from the Beatles narrative. Lewisohn found and memorialized a man who had been marginalized from the Beatles’ story, a hero integral to their success who was erased from history due to his inconvenience to the legacy of a certain acclaimed producer. Not only has Lewisohn turned a classic narrative upside down, he’s righted the wrong done to Kim Bennett by the powers that be--or so he would have us believe. The importance of Bennett’s testimony and his exclusivity to Tune In is a crucial element of Lewisohn’s myth-building around himself and his work. Let’s take a look at a few examples:

In a 2014 interview with Dierdre Kelly, Lewisohn calls his revised version of the Beatles’ recording contract “probably one of the biggest things in the book.” As for how he came to that version of events, Lewisohn says, “It all fell into place when I met a man called Kim Bennett…without whose incredibly tenacious efforts—and he was never named in any book—we would never have heard of the Beatles. He literally was the story’s hero and he tells us a very different story.” [Emphasis mine]

From Allan Kozinn’s 2013 interview with Lewisohn, we get the following exchange:

Kozinn describes Bennett as “someone who had never been interviewed,” and Lewisohn not only doesn’t correct him, he furthers that idea by saying Bennett “had been trying for years to get people to listen to his story…and nobody wanted to know.”

As a final example, we’ll return to the episode of Nothing Is Real (season 7, ep. 7) that I excerpted in my first post on Bennett.

A partial transcript [emphasis mine]:

“I approached him, and he was so happy that I got in touch with him because he knew the true story of how the Beatles came to be signed to EMI and he knew that it was his efforts that had made the difference, and without him, it wouldn’t have happened. The Beatles possibly may never have happened without Kim Bennett, and he’d been trying to tell people for years, and people didn’t want to know.”

“He was a very frustrated man because no one had ever paid him the attention that he felt was his due.”

“…and if I hadn’t of got to him when we did, we wouldn’t know him, and we would always have that bizarre gap of how they got signed by someone who never met them.”

Again and again, Lewisohn tells us that Kim Bennett had been trying desperately for years to gain recognition for his action, and everyone ignored him--everyone but Mark Lewisohn. This is decidedly untrue. He has been mentioned in multiple Beatles publications by major names in Beatles history, which you can find in Section 3. But first!

Section 2: Biographical & Background Info

Here he is, the man of the hour, Kim Bennett - and I bet you thought that was the Barry Sisters! On the left, we see Kim Bennett's floating head from his days as a singer, and on the right, we see him fraternizing with Russ Conway circa 1967 - Bennett is in profile on the right. I've dug up some biographical information on the enigmatic Kim Bennett, and I wanted to share it here along with a little context about music publishing to make the accounts shared in the next section make mroe sense. If you're confident in your early-1960s music industry knowledge and know who Kim Bennett and Sid Colman are, scroll right along to Section 3.

I've cited Lewisohn a few times in this section when other sources weren't available. Every time I cite him, I put a quarter in the "Risky Citations" jar - once I've filled it a few hundred times, I'll take it to CoinStar and use the money to buy a copy of Fifty Years Adrift.

The Parlophone Contract Story is a story with many bit parts, most of whom won't appear until my next post--there will even be a figure! I'll assume you know the Beatles, Brian Epstein, and George Martin, the man who would become the Beatles' main producer. In the parlance of the times, George Martin was the A&R man (artistes and repertoire) of EMI's Parlophone label. As the A&R man at Parlophone, George M. has the head of the label, with duties including scouting artists, matching his stable of artists with songs, and overseeing the recording process.

Alongside record labels like Parlophone, Columbia, and HMV, EMI had other companies under its corporate umbrella. One of these companies was the music publisher, Ardmore & Beechwood (A&B).

Music publishers manage song copyrights; they make money by marketing and disseminating those songs. In the early 20th century, the big moneymaker for music publishers was sheet music sales. By the 1950s and 60s a sea change was in progress as record sales grew and eventually eclipsed the sale of sheet music. Just as the medium through which songs were sold changed, so did the way in which music publishers sold those songs: originally, song pluggers from publishing companies would pitch their songs to orchestras, brass bands, and dance halls, seeking out groups who performed live music, so that their audiences would go out and buy sheet music of the songs they’d heard (Southall & Perry 2006, p.ix-xii). With the rise of records, song pluggers would pitch their songs directly to A&R men; they would visit the A&R men in their office and sing the songs they had on offer, accompanying themselves on the piano while they did (Martin & Hornsby 1979, p.48). They could then market those records to sell their songs. If a song was recorded by multiple artists, as was often the case, the song publisher benefited regardless of which version of a song played. This set their interests slightly apart from record producers, who only benefited if their version of a song sold.

Let's illustrate with a Lennon-McCartney original: the music publisher for Lennon-McCartney's music, Northern Songs, would profit from both the Rolling Stones version of 'I Wanna Be Your Man' and the Beatles version, but the record companies would only benefit from the version they released - the Stones version meant money in Decca's pocket, while the Beatles version benefited EMI.

(I'm sure their are some additional business/contract complexities that come into play, but I believe the general principle is correct)

EMI Music Publishing would one day be a Big Fucking Deal, but when the Beatles joined in 1962, it didn't exist yet. Publishing was a minor interest for the company, and they had only a small publishing presence in the form of A&B, which opened in 1958 (Martland 1997, p.262). A&B was set up to handle the publishing interests of  two American companies, Ardmore Music Corp. and Beechwood Music Corp., both of which were owned by Capitol Records (Cash Box 1958 Jul 26, p.34). Capitol Records had been purchased by EMI in 1955 (Southall 2009, p.25), and A&B was set up a few years later to handle their catalogue in the U.K., while also providing and option to publish through EMI for any interested songwriters. This was done at the behest of EMI Chairman Sir Joseph Lockwood (Southall 2006, p.9-10).

From its genesis, veteran music publisher Sid Colman (1905-65) served as general manager of Ardmore & Beechwood (Cash Box 1958 Jul 26, p.34). He would serve in this role until his untimely death in April 1965 (Cash Box 1965 Apr 24, p.47). You will encounter multiple spellings of his name, but Lewisohn assures us that Sid Colman (rather than Syd Coleman) is correct (2013, p.856). Kim Bennett served as his assistant and music plugger.

Born Thomas Whippey (1931-2004) (Lewisohn 2013), he became a Decca recording artist in 1954 under the name Kim Bennett. He recorded six singles, none of which charted. I haven’t found any of his work online, but for an idea of the type of music he released, here are other versions of two songs he put out: ‘Softly, Softly’ by Ruby Murray and ‘The Kentuckian Song’ by Eddy Arnold. He maintained a day job as an office worker until 1955, then briefly worked as a musician full time. He worked a season at Butlin’s (not the same location as Ringo), played some clubs, and toured with the Ambrose orchestra, but his career as a singer had petered out by late 1956. As Don Wicks puts it “[h]e was a victim of the growing rock and roll industry no longer interested in a soft pleasant vocal style.” (Wicks 1996 pt.1)

He resumed work at a toy warehouse, (Wicks 1996 pt.1) but later took a job in music publishing with B. Feldman & Co. Ltd. (Cash Box 1967 Jul 22 p.65). He began work with Ardmore & Beechwood no sooner than August 1958. He was still with Ardmore & Beechwood as of June 1965 (Cash Box 1965 Jun 5 p.55). By July 1967, he had moved to South Africa, where he ran a newly launched publishing company, Francis Day (S.A.) (Pty), which was established to manage copyrights of B. Feldman & Co. Ltd., Francis Day & Hunter, and Robbins (Cash Box 1967 Jul 22 p.65).

According to Lewisohn, Bennett spent his later years in Shropshire in “quite humble circumstances (Nothing Is Real, Season 7 Ep. 7, 29:30). He was interviewed by Lewisohn on July 27-28, 2003 (Lewisohn 2013 p.869). He died in 2004.

While biographical information on Bennett between 1967 and 2003 is slim (perhaps nonexistent), his role in the Beatles story received several mentions in print in those intervening decades.

Section 3: Kim Bennett in Beatles History

As I highlighted in my first post in this series, Kim Bennett was quoted in Beatles Book Monthly Issue 70, but that isn't his earliest appearance in the Beatles lore - he first appears in an earlier issue of BBM, issue 13, published in Augst 1964, p.22-3. He's mentioned by BBC DJ Ted King in relation to his work plugging 'Love Me Do'.

To summarize: Kim Bennett went to lunch with Ted King and pitched “Love Me Do” to him. King wasn’t fond of the record, but Bennett’s enthusiasm convinced King to play it on “Twelve O’Clock Spin.”

Our next Bennett sighting (and the first to use Bennett as a source) is the aforementioned BBM Issue 70, p.8, published May 1969.

This is part of a piece titled “When did you Switch On?” whose author is unattributed. Whoever they are spoke to Kim Bennett directly. Here’s what we can gather from this piece:

Kim Bennett was Sid Colman’s assistant

Colman “had quite a job to persuade George Martin to see the Beatles”

Bennett, presumably, was in the room when Colman “first heard the Beatles’ tapes”, since Bennett is able to relate what Sid Colman said on the matter

Colman decided to call Martin because he did not have a similar-sounding pop group, while the other EMI A&R men did

Bennett next crops up in several of Bill Harry's books, starting in 1982. Bill Harry is the founder of Mersey Beat and was an art school chum of John and Stu's; he's written a number of reference books about the Beatles, including The Beatles Encyclopedia, The John Lennon Encyclopedia, and The Book of Beatle Lists, among many others. Four of his books mention Bennett. The information in these books seems to be pulled from the two BBM articles highlighted above - with the possible exception of the last one. The books where Bennett is mentioned include:

The Beatles Who’s Who (1982): An encyclopedia of Beatle people. Bennett does not get his own entry, but he is mentioned in the entry on Sid Colman (p.84). Bennett is said to be Colman’s assistant, and his involvement in “Love Me Do” promotions is noted without detail.

The Ultimate Beatles Encyclopedia (1992): Bennett now gets his own entry (p.84-5). Again, this appears to draw from the Beatles Book articles. More detail is included here than in The Beatles Who’s Who. Bennett is mentioned again in Sid Colman’s entry (p.168). There’s a reference to Colman and Bennett liking the demos for “Love of the Loved” and “Hello Little Girl”, which is not mentioned in BBM above. However, these songs were referenced in relation to Sid Colman in The Beatles Who’s Who, so I think Bennett is just lumped in with Colman here.

Also in the Colman entry, Harry points out two conflicting accounts of the promotion of “Love Me Do.” George Martin wrote in his memoir that Ardmore & Beechwood did “virtually nothing” to promote the song, but Ted King, in BBM Issue 13, said it was Kim Bennett who got him to play the song on “Twelve O’Clock Spin.” This apparent contradiction will be discussed in detail when we deal with Tune In’s version of events, but for now, I’ll say this: it can be true that Kim Bennett did his best to promote 'Love Me Do' and acheived limited success while still falling short of the expectations of George Martin (and, crucially, Brian Epstein).

The Encyclopedia of Beatles People (1997): Bennett has a brief entry (p.45) and is mentioned in Sid Colman’s entry (p.92-93.) The Sid Colman entry includes this quote from Sir Joseph Lockwood about the Beatles’ publishing rights “I don’t blame Sid Coleman [sic], because he published the first two songs without a contract. He wasn’t getting any support from either the record producers or the solicitors.” This quote appears in Ray Coleman’s The Man Who Made The Beatles (1989), seemingly from an interview conducted by Coleman while researching that book.

The Ultimate Beatles Encyclopedia (Revised & Updated, 2001): The entry for Kim Bennett includes the entirety of the entry in the 1992 version with an additional two paragraphs (p.135-6). These paragraphs are emotionally charged and add information not available in the two articles from BBM. After detailing Bennett's involvement in 'Love Me Do' promo, Bill Harry writes,

“It’s ironic that the two people who were so enthusiastic about the Beatles and helped to get them with EMI in the first place were to have George Martin shut the door in their face by suggesting to Brian Epstein that he see Dick James about being their publisher. For one thing, it was Coleman [sic] who, after talking to Brian realized that the only A&R man at EMI who hadn’t rejected the Beatles was George Martin. Apparently, Coleman had a hard job persuading Martin to see Epstein. Even then, Martin wasn’t initially impressed by their sound. He only agreed to a test session at EMI’s No. 3 studio four weeks later, then another three months elapsed before the release of their first single. EMI and Martin weren’t even confident enough to give the Beatles a plug rating. Artists such as Cliff Richard received an ‘A’ plug on EMI’s Radio Luxembourg shows. The lowest was ‘B2’. The Beatles weren’t even given this low plug, EMI gave ‘Love Me Do’ a nil rating. “So Bennett had a hard job pushing the record without EMI using their clout. As a result, Epstein refused Ardmore & Beechwood the future Beatles publishing. Had he done so, the Beatles might have retained the rights to their own songs, and Coleman might have received some acknowledgment for having placed the Beatles into his hands in the first place.”

It’s hard to say whether or not additional information from Kim Bennett made it into this article. Much of this could be pulled from other sources and presented through a negative lens stemming from Dick James’ involvement in the Northern Songs debacle. There are, however, two elements here that are consistent with Bennett’s later accounts that might suggest that he spoke with Bill Harry: (1) the phrasing that George Martin “shut the door” in the face of A&B, rather than Brian Epstein actively seeking out a different publisher and going to George for advice, and (2) the blame placed on George Martin for the Beatles low plug rating. Both new elements, and both inconsistent with certain other versions of events.

In Philip Norman's revised Shout! (2003), there is unambiguous evidence of Kim Bennett's participation.

In the original 1981 release, Sid Colman and A&B are mentioned, but not Bennett; in the revised edition, not only is Kim Bennett present, but the information surrounding him is clearly more than the familiar, regurgitated tale found in Beatles Book Monthly.

Norman doesn’t give citations, so I can’t say conclusively how he got this new information. There may be an interview with Kim Bennett published somewhere that I haven’t come across, though I’m inclined to believe either Norman or one of his research assistants spoke to Kim Bennett directly. The phrase “According to Bennett” appears a few times in Shout! (2003), which reads as if the information is coming directly from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

Since the revised edition was published in the same year as Lewisohn’s interview with Kim Bennett, I considered that Lewisohn might have shared his information with Norman, and Norman may have rushed an edit. I looked for the exact publication date for the revised edition of Shout!—it was weirdly hard to find—and that put to bed any ideas of Norman cribbing off of Lewisohn’s notes: Pan Macmillan Australia gives the release date as January 9, 2003, several months before Lewisohn interviewed Bennett.

The Contract Story, as presented in the revised Shout! starts in the usual way: Brian gets an acetate made from the Beatles’ demo tape, the technician likes it and puts Brian in touch with Sid Colman, who works for A&B upstairs. Colman is interested in publishing the original Lennon-McCartney numbers. Then Kim Bennett enters the picture (Norman 2003, p.164-5):

Bennett likes the disc, too, and suggests they record the Beatles independently in the for-hire studio below their Oxford Street office. Colman takes Bennett’s idea to Len Wood, managing director at EMI, but it goes against protocol, and Wood won’t allow it. Only then does Colman put Brian in touch with George Martin. Colman and Brian have a “gentlemen’s agreement” that A&B will get the Lennon-McCartney publishing rights if they get a contract with George M.

It’s a short passage, but there are already a few problems here. First, the timeline doesn’t make sense. Most early accounts have Brian’s meeting with George M. occurring the day after Sid Colman hears the tapes (see A Cellarful of Noise, The Beatles (1968), and All You Need Is Ears). The largest gap is given by Lewisohn’s Chronicle (p.53-55), in which Epstein is said to have met Colman “around February 8” (a Thursday), with the Epstein-Martin meeting occurring on Tuesday, February 13. The Epstein-Martin meeting date seems to be pulled from George Martin’s date book (he has a meeting with a “Bernard Epstein” on that date), but I’m unsure what brought Lewisohn to the February 8 conclusion. Based on other information in the Chronicle, my best guess is either a meeting between Colman and Martin on February 9th, or a letter sent to Decca by Epstein on February 10th stating he had secured a recording contract. Whether or not he had met with Colman, Epstein certainly hadn’t secured a recording contract on that date – it was purely bluster, a kiss-off to Decca.

Regardless, even if Epstein met Colman on February 8th rather than February 12th, that’s a narrow window of time for Bennett’s story to occur. Rather than trying to place the group with an A&R man at EMI, Colman does nothing until his assistant suggests they record the Beatles themselves. This is unorthodox. A large part of the job of music publishers, as I’ve said above, is to pitch songs to A&R men to get them recorded. In this case, they’d be pitching a group along with the songs, but it seems strange that they wouldn’t try to work their contacts at all before making the jump to DIY. Still, let’s assume that happens. Colman takes the idea to Len Wood. Len Wood’s office at the time was probably at EMI House in Manchester Square, which isn’t far from A&B’s Oxford Street location, so assuming Len Wood had an open schedule, and Colman felt a high enough degree of urgency to immediately take Bennett’s idea to the managing director, I suppose it’s possible that Colman took Bennett’s idea to Wood, was immediately shut down, and then called Epstein back in to set up a meeting with George Martin if we assume Epstein’s first meeting with Colman happened on the 8th rather than the 11th. Still, it seems odd to me that these events wouldn’t turn up in Epstein’s account – getting shut down by the managing director of EMI Records is sort of a big deal, and would add to the drama of the everyone-rejected-them-but-George-Martin-story.

The other big issue here is that this version of events contradicts Bennett’s account from 1969. Rather than simply overhearing Colman’s conversation with Epstein and subsequent persuasion of George Martin, Bennett now has a more active, central role. He’s not driving the story, but he now gives a version of events in which he’s one of the Beatles’ earliest champions. I don’t think it’s unfair to consider that Bennett’s increased involvement in the story might indicate an interest in being more than a footnote in Beatles’ history.

Bennett is mentioned again during the promotions of ‘Love Me Do’ (p.182-3):

Bennett secures some airtime on Two-Way Family Favourites by “repeatedly nagging a radio producer friend.” This is not the same radio show mentioned in Beatles Book Monthly Issue 13 (above), but it’s in keeping with Bennett’s role as a plugger—and that’s where Bennett’s involvement ends in Shout! (2003). There’s one more tantalizing mention of Brian’s “gentlemen’s agreement” with Colman, which he breaks due to his dissatisfaction with A&B, turning to George Martin for publishing advice.

There you have it: Kim Bennett’s evolving story pre-Tune In. It starts as a bit of extra detail that fits inside the greater framework of the Beatles’ Contract Saga, and, after thirty years, morphs into something that contradicts Bennett’s earlier version and the many other accounts of the same events. Things will get even stickier once we get to Tune In. But first...

Section 4: Why Does It Matter?

I can think of three explanations for why Lewisohn pitched Bennett as an unheard witness when he had, in fact, gone on the record before, and none of these explanations helps the credibility of the story.

Explanation 1: Neither Lewisohn nor Bennett knew about Bennett’s previous statements on the matter. This would be extremely damning for Bennett’s reliability, as it would mean he had forgotten both his 1960s statement to Beatles Book Monthly (plausible) as well as the interview that led to the information included in Shout! (concerning). This scenario also requires Lewisohn to be unaware of the above Bennett appearances, which doesn’t reflect well on his abilities as a researcher. If you find someone who you think has never been on record, you might want to at least look him up in the glossary of books by major Beatle authors.

Explanation 2: Bennett knew; Lewisohn didn’t. Perhaps Kim Bennett either neglected to inform Lewisohn of his past interviews, or outright lied to him on the matter. Lewisohn says that Bennett is “known for a dogged persistency” (Lewisohn 2013, p.571), has said that Bennett “just picks something up and he will not let it go,” (Let It Roll 2020, ~25:50), that he is “very insistent about things” and by the time Lewisohn interviewed him, “was a very frustrated man because no one had ever paid him the attention that he felt was his due.” (Nothing Is Real S7Ep7) Could this tenacity and feeling of entitlement to a part of the Beatles’ legacy have led Bennett to present himself as a bigger scoop than he really was? Might he have sold Lewisohn a tale of exclusivity and, perhaps, a version of the Contract Story more salacious and headline-grabbing than the truth?

Again, this explanation also hinges on the idea that Lewisohn was in the dark about Bennett’s prior interview(s), which is a huge oversight, but not as damning as explanation 3.

Explanation 3: Lewisohn knew and lied. Whether Bennett told Lewisohn outright that he had been interviewed in the past or if Lewisohn came upon that information in his research, Lewisohn chose to portray his interview with Bennett as exclusive. Perhaps this was purely to make his “scoop” seem juicier. Perhaps he was reluctant to give Philip Norman credit for finding Bennett first – there seems to be no love lost between Lewisohn and his former employer. Or perhaps Lewisohn knew that Bennett’s prior accounts made the story told in Tune In less credible. The early anecdote related in BBM already conflicted with the revised version in Shout! – if Bennett’s account, as related in Tune In, presented further inconsistencies, it would undermine Lewisohn’s major finding.

I’ll close with a segment from one of the better Lewisohn interviews I’ve heard. It’s from Ken Michaels’ radio show ‘Every Little Thing’, conducted in ~2013, and it’s one of the rare instances where an interviewer gives Lewisohn any pushback or asks follow-up questions regarding some of his more explosive claims. It’s an uncomfortable listen – Ken Michaels even appeared in the comments of this YouTube channel to counter claims that he has beef with Lewisohn– but satisfying to hear some meaningful questions when so many people are content to simply deify Lewisohn. Here's the relevant exchange:

KM: Aren’t there also problems with certain people that you’ve interviewed that have played some part in Beatle history that want to really elevate their status?

ML: Oh yeah, oh yeah, and it’s up to authors to ensure that they don’t get what they want. And there are unfortunately too many authors who just very happily take the stuff they’re given without challenging it. You’ve got to challenge all these things. And unless something completely fits into the framework of the story, you can’t use it.

Next time, on Days of Our Lies: the Classic Version of the Contract Story, and why Mark Lewisohn is so intent on debunking it. After that, we’ll finally look at the Contract Story as portrayed in Tune In.

Sources:

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Michaels K. 2013. Mark Lewisohn interview [radio broadcast episode]. The Beatles – Every Little Thing. Originally aired on XM Radio. 1:53:18. Available from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjAUtngSoKc

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Southall B, Perry R. 2006. Northern Songs: The True Story of The Beatles Song Publishing Empire. London: Omnibus Press. 218p. Accessed online 2024 Mar 13. Available from: https://archive.org/details/northernsongstru0000sout/mode/2up

*Wicks D. 1998. Updated 2012. The Ballad Years: From the Bombs to the Beatles: a Directory and Discography of British Popular Music-makers from 1945-1960. Accessed online 2024 Mar. Available from: https://archive.org/details/theballadyears/Book%20Contents/

Wilcox N. 2020 Apr 27. How The Beatles Got Signed [podcast, season 7]. Let It Roll. 57:21. Available from: https://dcs.megaphone.fm/PAN2878353172.mp3?key=5204cb23c38410bae94e208461239e2d&request_event_id=e800ecea-9c5e-40f2-90e3-dad820306501

Images from The Ballad Years and Cash Box 1967 Jul 22

*The Ballad Years by Don Wicks was originally published circa 1998 (by a company called In Tune International, of all things!) There is some great contextual info included at the Internet Archive link; to condense it here, after the original print run of the book, Don Wick continued to update the book, primarily to reflect the death of artists. He distributed these via Microsoft Word Document, and the 2012 version of these documents was uploaded to the Internet Archive. I believe that is the reason for “The Barry Sisters” being plastered across Kim Bennett’s face – the pages including artists’ pictures have very wonky formatting.

[kellyscowboy]

Jack Kelly wasn't a family guy, but he always wished he was. Not that he didn't believe that the newsies were his family, because they were. Just not in the way that he would've liked. Jack found often found himself needing a hug, some encouraging words after a long day at work, or even just a pat on the back. But he never received them. Not from the newsies, no. He was always the one offering, but he never received.

Not until he met David Jacobs. His first interaction with Dave's family had been slightly awkward. He observed as the family worked around each other, how they seemed to understand each other perfectly. It was as if Jack hadn't even been there. Never one to overstay his welcome, and not one to stay in a situation he felt out of place in, Jack left the second the opportunity came about.

The second time he was around the family, he felt much more incorporated. Esther bossed him around as if he were her own, and Mayer gave him the long-awaited fatherly pat on the back as he told Jack he was 'welcome to stay anytime.'

They took quickly to Jack; they insisted he came over during every holiday and there was never a day he visited that he didn't also stay the night. Soon enough, they were sending him daily lunches and attempting to enroll him in classes at David's school. And although Jack kindly denied the classes, he appreciated the sentiment more than he could express. He was never one who enjoyed being fawned over, but the feeling of familial love had started to change his mind on that fact.

After David and Jack's first fight (the first one post-strike), the latter was ruined. He felt as if he had no-one to turn to. Esther and Mayer had been there for him at every instance since he had met David. It didn't feel right to now talk to them.

Jack didn't know who to talk to, or where to go. He found himself wandering the streets. Beating himself up and wallowing in some form of self-pity. He hadn't even realized they had been in a fight until David had stormed off and told Jack to never speak to him again. It made the boy sick to imagine a life without the Jacob's family.

Santa Fe came to mind. All Jack had to do was run away and pretend like these people had never existed. And he almost did it too. Tears stained his red cheeks and his head pounded from how many times he had hit himself with his palm. Stupid, stupid, stupid, chanted aloud with each smack.

But as Jack counted his money and planned his escape to Santa Fe, a gentle hand grabbed his own. Through teary eyes, he looked up to see Esther smiling softly down out him. She kneeled down next to him and wiped at the child's cheek. "Oh, poor boy. Are you alright?"

"Don't need to do me more charity, Mrs. Jacobs." Jack replied coldly. "Dave already told me where I stand with your family."

Esther shook her head. "David gets passionate about things sometimes. You should know that best. You did lead a strike with him after all."

"Well, I guess I don't know 'im as well as I thought."

"Listen, Jack." Esther started, gently. "You're family now. Family doesn't abandon family. Do you think Mayer and I were entirely thrilled when David came home on his second day of work and told us he was involved in a strike?"

"... I 'spose not."

"But we backed him up anyways. No matter how scared we were. Now, family's fight. I mean, Sarah and David fight all the time! I mean obviously you and David had a different..." Esther paused, contemplating her words. "Relationship than them. But that doesn't mean that you two can just have one fight and never speak to each other again." She pushed Jack's hair back lovingly and rubbed his cheek. "Now let's get you up to the house and get this all figured out."

And just like that, Santa Fe had disappeared deep into the back of his mind. All it took was Esther's soothing voice and the caring touch of her hand.

[teagballs]

I just read your Dennis fic, and if you were going to write a part 2 would you be able to make it that Dennis doesn’t immediately tell reader he likes her? He just starts acting really weird when she’s around?

Like maybe, Dennis Charlie and Mac are insulting Dee and reader says something like “that it’s not nice” then Dennis goes, “yeah that’s seriously not nice guys.” And everyone’s just confused cause like he was saying mean stuff too.

If it’s to much trouble or if you don’t wanna write this please just ignore this 🧍🧍

"like no one else" | dennis reynolds x reader

read part one here

authors note: ur mind anon UR MIND BROOO. this prompt was amazing and i had to do it but also it took me a month cuz i was busy. OOPS. i hope i did it justice cuz i took it and ran LMAO

requests open as always!! looking to do some charlie kelly stuff, so if u have any ideas for him lmk!!

cw: fem reader, mentions of objectification of women and the D.E.N.N.I.S system ofc, lil smoochie smoo at the end but nothing nsfw, 1.4k words

Dennis stumbled out of the restaurant, abandoning his date and this old life of promiscuity behind, seemingly. He walked down the street, pulling out his phone. He entered your name into his contacts, ready to confess everything. Ready to tell you how much you mean to him. Ready to love you. But then he stopped. His finger hovered over the call button and he thought, "what am I doing?" It was the emotion of the situation that made him act with such heedlessness. He didn't even know if you felt that way about him, if you felt the same deep connection he did. For him, it was a feeling like no other. It felt like you got him in a way no one else did. With understanding and kindness too. But to you? Dennis could just be a good friend to you. And if that was the case, what was the point in risking it all? He took a deep breath, shoving his phone back in his pocket. No, he shouldn't act so incautiously.

In the following weeks, Dennis found himself falling deeper and deeper for you. Every action you took, every word you spoke. He found himself obsessing over it. He tried not to come off as creepy - although that was hard, this was Dennis. His still kept his distance as usual, but now with a growing infatuation. He believed he was portraying this neutrality to you well, but this facade was challenged today.

"Y'know what guys, I'm really excited for this date tonight," Dee began to explain as she sat at the bar with Dennis, Charlie, Mac, and you.

"Oh shut up, Dee, nobody cares about your stupid date," Mac barked. Degrading her as usual.

It was water off a duck's back for dee, "You're just jealous I have a date Mac." She rhymed off before taking another swig of her beer.

"How'd you get this one to go out with you, Dee?" Charlie began in defence of Mac, "What'd you do? Steal his dog?"

"What? God no, what the fuck are you talking about?" Dee said.

Dennis didn't involve himself in verbally bullying his sister as he usually would. Usually, he would come in with the worst, most grating jabs. Instead, he silently observed how you scrolled on your phone, occasionally taking a sip of your drink, noticing how your brows furrowed ever so slightly in frustration.

"Even if you do go on this date, Dee, the only way you'll get him to stay is if you steal his phone or something!" Mac snarled.

"Yeah, you stupid bird!" Charlie said, which resulted in loud laughter from the men.

"God, would you just leave her alone, you two? Do you have nothing better to do?" You snapped at them finally. Dennis noticed your frustration and wanting to support and comfort you, he responded;

"Yeah, guys, leave her alone. You're both so sad." Dennis said in his usual 'I'm not wrong about anything ever and you're stupid for being wrong' tone.

Silence. Everyone, including you, turns to face Dennis. Did he just defend Dee? The sister he swore he hated?

"Dennis, what did you just say?" Mac asked cautiously and filled with confusion.

"I said leave Dee alone."

Dennis didn't really care all that much about Dee. Really, all her cared about was proving to you he did. He wanted to be on your side, always. To have your approval.

"Thank you, Dennis," you agreed. Dennis's heart swelled. 'God, what's wrong with me?' he thought. He had never felt this many emotions ever. Never mind for one person.

"That was weird, right? Earlier? When Dennis, like, stood up for Dee?" Charlie asked Mac.

"Oh yeah! For sure! I have no clue why he did that. I mean, just yesterday me, you, Frank, and Dennis were ragging on her for being a failed actress." Mac replied, causing laughter between the pair at the thought of this previous discussion.

"So... what changed?" Charlie puzzled.

"Everyone was there, except.. except for her." Mac hypothesised that when you were there, Dennis avoided talking poorly of Dee.

"But why? What does she change?"

Mac shrugged, "Maybe he's trying to D.E.N.N.I.S her."

"Huh. Doesn't really seem like his usual type." Charlie said.

Dennis was definitely not trying to D.E.N.N.I.S you. He made that distinctly clear in his mind. He wasn't following the steps at all, going out of his way to avoid flirtation with you, actually, to avoid raising suspicions. And the final step, 'separate entirely,' was most certainly one he didn’t want to follow. He wanted to spend forever and ever with you. Why? He didn't understand it himself. He was Dennis Reynolds, the Golden God! How come he was acting so pathetic?

You were starting to notice his weird behaviour. You had known Dennis for years. He was never this.. clingy? Not that you minded, really. You had always thought he was attractive, sure - charismatic too - but his general objectification of woman and lack of interest in a stable and long-term relationship certainly deterred you. Still, though, you couldn't help but feel your heart shatter every time he would talk about the girl he was planning to go out with next. You had grown tougher over the years of knowing him, accepting that he would never change, and he would never see you like that. This new attention from his was definitely appreciated, but strange.

This all came to head a couple of weeks into this behaviour. You and Dennis sat in the bar together on a slow Tuesday. You had been testing him slightly. You were saying things to provoke him - small things. Things that would usually lead to a disagreement or argument or him going on a long Dennis rant. But he didn't budge. He didn’t roar obscenities or call you an idiot or react negatively at all. He would just nod and smile. And then he would agree. You couldn't take it. Was it some cruel joke? To get your hopes up or make you look stupid? You didn't get the punchline.

"Alright, Dennis, what's with you lately."

Dennis freezes. He feared you had picked up on his feelings towards you. He feared this would be the end of it all, and he had ruined it, and you would leave and he would never see you again.

"What do you mean?" Dennis replied. He was lucky he was such a good liar. He played coy well. But you didn't back down.

"You've been acting weird. You just agree with everything I say, and you're hanging around me a lot and like you keep not making fun of Dee when I'm here. You're always looking at me too. Is it some sort of joke I don't get? Are you making fun of me? That's mean."

Dennis felt emotions, oh god. He located that he felt regret and frustration and guilt and guilt and guilt. 'Mean'. He wasn't trying to be mean. She thought it was some sort of joke, but no. This was how he really felt. He really wanted to spend all his time admiring you, he wanted to agree with you on everything, that's all he could think about for the past month. And for once in his life, Dennis was at sea for words.

"I... I didn't..." Dennis attempted. But he couldn't convey his words in a safe manner. In a manner that meant if you didn't feel the same way it would be okay and you could keep being friends.

"I think I'm in love with you." Dennis sighed.

"It was after that date. With that chick. What was her name? Candy? Karen? Doesn't matter." Dennis rambled. "It was then when I realised I never want to be with anyone else, if not you. I don't think anyone had ever understood me the way you have. And I just spiralled after then? I haven't stopped thinking about you." That would be a creepy comment if it wasn't something you had always wanted to hear from him.

It was your turn to be speechless. Instead of saying anything your eyes scanned his face for any indication of falsehood. Nothing. You saw and expression on Dennis's face that you had never seen before. One that could be equated to not knowing the answer. Clueless. Maybe afraid? You open your mouth to speak again but Dennis cuts you off and speaks first. Like he's trying to drown out a negative response. Like covering your ears to block out the sound of a gunshot; the damage would still be done.

Dennis looked at you, waiting for the gunshot.

"Dennis.. I feel the same way. Of course I do, oh my God." You finally say. Your voice is small and hoarse, like you have never used it before. Quickly, before anyone can say anything else, Dennis envelops you in a kiss. A kiss that isn't filled with lust, something Dennis isn't used to. His lips lean into yours in a desperate attempt to convey his gratefulness and love and devotion to you. You grip at his sides. You understand.

[itsgxsly]

THANKFUL

Summary: although they are annoying, Lando appreciates that the paparazzi capture a beautiful moment between the two of you while you celebrate your anniversary

Pairing: lando norris x reader

Warnings: mention of sex

Word Count: 962

A year ago your life had completely changed when you had met a certain British driver at a party in Monaco. Lando was DJing that night for Max's birthday and you were there since you were a mutual friend of Kelly and Max. You had flirted all night and now, a year later, you were thankful for that day, because you had met the one you thought was the love of your life.

Lando showed you day after day how much he loved you. But today was so much sweeter than you could even have imagined in your time together. Today was your anniversary and despite the time that had passed, the feelings you two had were still as intact as the first day. For Lando today was the perfect day to spoil you more than ever, since today he had an excuse for it.

You had spent part of the morning lying in bed, making love and enjoying the warmth that the other transmitted. After some rounds and a few cuddling sessions in between, you were up and ready to spend the rest of the morning on a yacht down the coast. You clearly knew the risk involved in dating someone famous like Lando who was admired by people and hounded by the press for every little detail of his private life. But even so, you still didn't get used to finding a camera photographing the private moments between you and your partner durong your time together. Even though it was exhausting and tiresome having to put up with the photos every time you and Lando did something in public, you didn't want to let it ruin your day, so you ignored anything related to the press. That day was reserved for Lando and you.

Now it was night and you were in the bathroom of the room getting ready for the date you had planned. You finished painting your lips and by the reflection in the mirror you saw Lando gawking at you with a lovesick smile. Turning towards him you placed your hands on his cheeks, kissing his lips tenderly.

"You look so beautiful, my love" Lando spoke as you separated.

"You look handsome too, baby" and it was true that the white shirt and light blue pants he was wearing made him look so hot that you almost considered not getting out of bed for the rest of the night.

"Thanks love. I think we're ready to go now, right?" And with both of you already prepared, you left home to go to the restaurant where you would have dinner.

Once you were both sitting at your respective table enjoying the delicious food on the menu while you were talking, you noticed a man a few tables away from you with a camera in his hand. Obviously, he was again a paparazzi who would want to get some exclusive photos of Lando Norris celebrating his anniversary with his girlfriend. You sighed louder than you should and Lando heard it. He turned his head to look in the same direction as you and then he noticed the camera taking pictures. He turned back to you with guilt filling his features.

“I'm so sorry about those things, my love. If it weren't for me, we wouldn't have to put up with the fact that they don't leave us privacy. But we can't even enjoy a simple dinner” Lando spoke quickly, apologizing for placing us knowing that it wasn't easy for you to carry these things. Since he had started dating you, his fear that you would leave him because he could not bear his way of life terrified him.

“You know it's not your fault, Lando. You can't do anything about it, baby, you shouldn't apologize” you reassured him.

“But I feel like I have to. I know it's not easy that they're always invading your personal life and it's partly my fault” Lando continued to blame himself. He was looking at his food plate almost sadly.

"Lando, look at me" you called him and waited for him to look at you to speak again. “Stop blaming yourself for this stupid thing. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to go out with you and I don't regret it, okay? I don't mind putting up with thousands of paparazzi every day, if that means I can be with you” you told him all that while you grabbed his hands on the table caressing his knuckles.

Hearing you say those words calmed Lando's bad feeling, who stood up and approached you to kiss you lovingly on the lips and then on the forehead.

"Come on, get up" he grabbed your hand, getting you to your feet.

"Where are we going?" You looked at him confused as he carefully dragged you out of the restaurant.

"We are going home. We haven't finished celebrating our anniversary yet. And I want to make it up to you properly” he turned to look at you with a mischievous smile on his face. You laughed at his words and kissed him again before you got in the car to go home together and celebrate your first year together properly. The next day, Lando woke up before you and after watching you sleep peacefully on his chest, he picked up his phone to check social media. The photo that he found as soon as he opened instagram brought a smile to his face. It was you and him during dinner last night and you looked so in love in the image that it almost seemed unreal. He liked the photo and turned off his phone, putting it aside to hug you. Maybe he should be thankful with that paparazzi for immortalizing that beautiful scene.