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luulapants · 2 years ago

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Stop Being Weird About Indians

Let’s talk about virtue signalling when talking about American Indians and how it’s doing more harm than good. I saw a take that writing about Kaia, an indigenous character in Supernatural, in fanfiction is a cancel-able offense because the way she’s depicted in the show is problematic. I’ve heard similar things about the skinwalkers in Teen Wolf - I’ve also heard that you shouldn’t even type the word “skinwalkers” because it’s offensive, which... I’m not gonna go into all the details, but that’s a gross misunderstanding of the belief around the word, and also the actual word the belief is about - you won’t believe this - isn’t an English word.

Anyway.

The topic of indigenous oppression in the US is complicated, but one of the fundamental issues, which actual indigenous activists (not just keyboard warriors) constantly talk about, is the way indigenous people are ignored and erased from the story. It’s called “The Terminal Narrative.” Text books talk about indigenous people like they’re a relic of the past, like they’re all dead and gone. (Do you know how weird it is for Indian children on reservations to read a US history book that implies they don’t exist?) Human rights abuses and social issues on reservations are left out of the conversation or skimmed over as if they’re too obscure to be fully understood, or like they impact so few people, it doesn’t really matter.

Policing wording is not activism. Sharing call-out posts isn’t activism. You are not doing anything to help anyone. You’re not funding, volunteering, calling politicians, or doing any actual work to better the lives of indigenous Americans. (Before anyone calls hypocrite, I do work with an indigenous rights group IRL.) When someone scolds another person online over using a word that isn’t PC, 99% of the time it’s clear they don’t actually care - they derive a sense of moral superiority from knowing the “correct” way to speak. And they don’t care about the chilling effect it has on speech overall. This naturally leads to one of the most toxic elements of liberal conversations about race: that you must have the conversation perfectly or not at all. And that’s the impact it has. People just stop talking about it for fear of being wrong.

Can you see how, in a society where indigenous oppression is actively facilitated by silence and erasure, making people afraid to speak about Indians is one of the worst things you could possibly do?

It’s become standard fare for Indian Studies books to start with a disclaimer explaining that “Indian” actually isn’t an offensive word and is the word that most indigenous people use for themselves. The disclaimer isn’t because it’s new or radical information. It’s because white Americans are so goddamn weird about virtual signaling about ~The Native Americans~ that they would condemn a much-needed book of scholarship on native issues just for using a word that they thought was offensive.

Native people aren’t a monolith. You’ll find Indians that insist you need to spell it NDN or that XYZ is offensive. Production companies can pay a native person to come tell them they’re allowed to write about something most people from their tribe would find offensive. Fact of the matter is, a lot of Indians are not experts on like... heritage culture. If they grew up on a rez, they can tell you about rez culture, but they’re not all Indian Studies scholars, the same way not all Irish people are experts on Celtic paganism. Not all Indians are experts on indigenous politics, the same way not all Americans are experts on American politics. And it goes without saying that a GODAWFUL amount of the people lecturing on acceptable ways to interact with indigenous characters are not only uninformed about indigenous issues (I saw one post where someone clearly linked the first thing that came up when they googled “Native American drug addiction”) but are also not indigenous themselves.

And, yes, the vast majority of depictions of Indians in American media are problematic in one way or another, but saying that the solution is to erase indigenous characters from fandom entirely (because they’re all problematic) is the absolute WORST conclusion to reach. Fix the characters if you care that much! Give the Teen Wolf skinwalkers names! And an iPad! Let Kaia be the master of her own destiny! Let her bitch Dean out for pointing that gun in her face! Let her live happily ever after with her girlfriend! What the hell is fandom for if not fixing the issues we see in canon? Why are we allowed to reclaim and rewrite problematic queer characters but not problematic native characters? Who is that serving? Because it sure as hell isn’t serving Indians.

Anyone that tells you it’s better to ignore Indians than say the wrong thing about them is, knowingly or not, actively promoting a terminal narrative and the continuation of indigenous genocide.

#kaia nieves #skinwalkers #fandom meta #indigenous #supernatural #virtue signaling

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huntertherapyeras · 3 years ago

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I’m sorry your mood’s bad 😔 please tell me all about your gymnastics AUs some more if you’re so inclined ….. what is each character’s biggest motivation and how is the sashannarcy growing …

hi!!! thank you .... it's getting better now though!!!

yessss, time to talk about au :D (using keyboard emojis bc trying to use normal emojis on a computer is too much work dlkdkdfjrkflej)

so!!!! motivations:

marcy: doing as well as she can (as hypotonia, hypermobility, and gross motor "delays" can be a huge pain) is a big motivator. she's a perfectionist and works really hard to cultivate her skills. though building strength is really hard for her she still managed to make it to jo level 8 even with how hard bars is and that takes a LOT of perseverance because that level of bars skills takes sooo much upper body strength. and even with her chronic pain, she still keeps going (possibly to her detriment).

to say that she's determined is an understatement, and she's like that with everything- her grades, her interests. always pursuing things. gymnastics is actually one of her special interests in this au! she loves it So Much <3

she genuinely does Not care about other sports though, just gymnastics and dance lmao. her parents defs did not expect her to get so into gymnastics - they just put her in because of the motor coordination benefits! but she did, so here she is!

anne: anne loves gymnastics, especially the "fun" aspects of it. she's not super competitive by nature, but competing next to sasha has given her a bit of a competitive streak. their rivalry is mostly just healthy competition, but sasha can be a little ... caustic sometimes and takes it too far occasionally, which does hurt anne's feelings a lot. anne loves to run and "fly", she's very good at tumbling and vault. she used to be really good at bars too, but her arm injury set her back a lot so it took quite awhile to get the skills she had before because she had to relearn them and learn to compensate with a much weaker arm! so bars is no longer one of her favorites, despite her being a natural at it.

she does not like beam at all though, she kind of hates it actually. too much ballet like dance and precision (she prefers jazz and hip hop to ballet and doesn't like paying attention to tiny details because it's kind of hard for her to grasp them).

anne also really likes the gender affirming aspects of gymnastics, like wearing a leotard and makeup. gymnastics is a highly gendered sport, but her coaches are really good about not misgendering her and affirming her gender, which is really good for her!

sasha: can be competitive, but is mostly still in the sport because of how much she cares about anne and marcy. they're his best friends and are what inspired him to actually put effort in, which is what made him into the gymnast she is today. gymnastics comes naturally to her and she really doesn't have to work at it since she has the "right" (ew) build, good flexibility, and is naturally strong and agile. he also CAN be a hard worker if given the right motivator (which is often getting high scores).

this, plus the pressure her mom gives him to succeed, makes him kind of aggro and competitive at meets. and he has a mean streak that she takes too far sometimes - its hard to not give into those urges for her between his mom's heavy pressure (she can be really mean, and sasha absorbs that) and the need to be At The Top.

this perfectionistic streak also contributes to other unhealthy behaviors that sasha has, like disordered eating. and when he starts to lose her vision and hearing, that just makes her push himself even harder, which can be... problematic.

#disordered eating mention 011 #amphibia gymnastics au #aster.exe #go ask aster

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not-a-space-alien · 3 years ago

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Hi! For those of us a bit behind on the discourse (and not first-language speakers), could you please expand a bit on the problem with “gross?”

I personally would much rather be called gross (that’s your opinion buddy, if you don’t like me, stay away) than problematic (implying that I’m doing objective harm to someone). Is there a nuance I’m missing?

And on the reverse, what’s a better way to say something yucks me out without ending up implying that it shouldn’t exist/is unacceptable?

(I hope I’m not starting a discourse with this ask, it’s a genuine question)

Oh hi! No that's totally okay to ask.

This is honestly just my personal viewpoint and I'm just explaining from my perspective informed by my experiences how using it can be harmful. Might be kinda long and unpleasant so under the cut.

This was prompted because I saw some fighting elsewhere online (not something I have ANY desire to get involved in) about things like zoophilia and bestiality. The people who were on the offensive were calling it "gross." I have also seen this used elsewhere in the same way--things like minor/adult ships, abusive relationships, or things that are unpleasant or coercive are called "gross." (for example, Johnny Depp supporters are "gross" because they're defending an abuser.)

This is the problem I have with this. You see people shipping an adult and a minor. You feel disgusted by it. You type "That's gross," feel superior, and move on. You have completely missed the point.

Things like shipping minors with adults is bad because it's harmful, not because it's disgusting. Normalizing things like predatory or non-consensual relationships, abuse, and creating an atmosphere online that allows for grooming is bad even if you aren't personally disgusted by it. Because the thing that's bad about it is it lets real people get hurt, not because you look at it and feel grossed out by it. It feels....very keyboard-warrior-y to act like personal righteous anger is a bigger talking point than creating safe and constructive spaces online.

People think lots of non-harmful things are gross, and a lot of things that ARE harmful fly under the radar because they're more socially palatable and therefore "not gross." An unattractive man hitting on a woman is "gross," an attractive man doing the same thing isn't "gross." The attractive man can get away with a LOT of bad behavior less conventionally attractive men can't, because he isn't "gross" and therefore we let a LOT of shit slide that we shouldn't.

Foot fetish is "gross." I think feet are gross. I don't understand how people think feet are sexually attractive. I don't want to see it. But I understand that my feelings of disgust are subjective and that, objectively, there is nothing harmful about foot fetish.

Bugs are gross. Slime is gross. Sweating in the heat is gross.

To me, using "gross" as in "morally unacceptable" and "gross" as in "evoking a primal, visceral disgust reaction" side by side, not being careful to parse the two distinctions can be incredibly harmful. There are a LOT of things that evoke a visceral disgust reaction because they're taboo, but SHOULDN'T, because they're not harmful.

I was disgusted by my body growing up. I was disgusted by myself when I started feeling sexual desire. I thought it was gross to want to touch people, to want to do completely innocent sexual things with them. This isn't because it's wrong, or there's anything wrong with me. It's because I grew up in an insanely sex- and body-negative culture, that taught me to feel that way. It takes YEARS to unlearn that gut visceral disgust reaction.

So to see the word "gross" being treated online as a condemnation raises my hackles. It's basically saying "your gut disgust is a right and good moral compass." It's basically saying "You know how foot fetish is gross? That means it's also bad." "You know how you feel like your body is gross and disgusting and wrong? That's correct."

Bugs are bad, being sweaty is morally wrong. This is an extreme example, but hopefully you see what I'm trying to say.

We are capable of more nuanced and sensitive discourse than that, I know we are. It's like the way insulting someone's appearance when they misbehave only serves to further stigmatize innocent people who happen to look like them.

There's been a (imo) disturbing trend rising online to conflate things I don't like with things that are objectively harmful. People dig through pages of tweets from years ago to find something problematic because a celebrity was annoying. People can't just dislike TV shows because they're not well made or annoying or unappealing, they have to find some reason why it's objectively bad or ____-phobic. The visceral gut reaction of "I don't like this" comes first, and then the people scramble to find some post-hoc justification for why the feeling is objectively true, rather than just a human gut reaction that's completely separate from true ethics.

We have a gut disgust reaction to "gross" things for a reason. There's a huge overlap between things we think are "gross" and things that are objectively dangerous or harmful. But oh boy is the overlap between those two things not a complete circle, and bad things can happen when you pretend they are.

This is the way I see it, with some examples

So basically, if you declare that the criteria by which you're judging those things in the middle is the blue circle and not the orange one, you're basically implying all those things in the blue circle are also bad, whereas the things in the orange circle but not in the overlap are fine.

You're correct about the connotation of gross typically being a subjective judgement call about personal feelings. That's why I think it's a bad trend to move in the direction of using it to describe things that are objectively harmful, as though the personal feelings are more important than the actual harm being done. I don't think it's harmful to continue using "gross" in the sense of, like, slime and bugs and snakes or whatever, although I could see an argument about that as well.

To me "problematic" implies that there's a problem. Problems can be fixed. "Gross" is just a state of being. Like I said in my previous post, the phrase "purity culture" has been..........too broadly used in recent years, but it strikes me as a very purity culture thing to do. Instead of "that thing you're doing is bad," it's "you're bad, and you should feel bad about it." It's sorting entire people or groups of people into "pure" or "gross." It's like how the word "freak" has come back around to being used an actual insult. All the "freak" behaviors are also "gross" in that they're deviations from socially acceptable norms, but they can be objectively harmful or not.

Ideally what I'd like to see is a more matter-of-fact statement about why the thing in question is actually bad. Instead of "bestiality is gross," try "bestiality is animal abuse." Instead of "tricking people into providing fetish content is gross," try "fetish mining violates people's boundaries and involves them in sexual acts without consent." Instead of "adult/minor ships are gross," try "adult/minor ships contribute to an atmosphere that can be used to groom young people." I think this is also much better because it communicates to passersby who aren't savvy succinctly what the issue actually is, rather than just that you're mad and angry and a better person because you're calling out something "gross."

This is also significantly harder to do because it requires critical thinking, so I'm not optimistic that it'll actually catch on. But hey, I can dream.

#hope that makes sense!#asks #anon

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theblogtini · 4 years ago

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Hi! Since you work in media/ PR what do you think about the Chrissy Teigen scandal? I knew she was super annoying and thirsty, but I didn’t know how unhinged and nasty she truly was. Death threats are not ‘harmless’ words, obviously. She has told so many to go kill themselves - it’s insane and disturbing and not normal; clearly she is not sorry either as it’s a pattern. I find it pretty disappointing that other celebrities and dumb hypocrite influencers I follow aren’t publicly condemning her for this, yet they will virtue signal for ‘kindness’ / anti-bullying and other various SJW causes. So good on Candace Owens for not letting this slip through the cracks. I was shocked that Chrissy’s Instagram followers haven’t gone down at all with there being so many receipts. If it was, I don’t know... Tiffany Trump all of the keyboard warriors would go psycho and be hell bent on completely ruining her life. The double standards and hypocrisy are genuinely disgusting and extremely problematic. I hope her husband doesn’t condone this repulsive behavior of hers, but who knows!

I’m really grossed out by it. You’re right that Chrissy is pretty attention-seeking but she’s always seemed like the “everything in good fun” type. The person who would say anything for a laugh - so I’ll admit I was a fan. But in the last few months little pieces of her real personality have started shining through more that made me think she was less “it’s all fun” and more “drama drama drama.”

But all of THIS is just horrific. To make a shitty comment “to be funny” is one thing. To publicly tell someone to kill themselves is abhorrent. And to DM that person and harass them about it is pathological. ESPECIALLY when that person is a child that is CLEARLY going through some shit.

Chrissy, IMO, has proven that she is not at all the person she’s been pretending to be. She isn’t a goofy, funny, outspoken person who is in it for a laugh and speaks their mind and occasionally has a misstep. She’s just mean, and bitter. She isn’t a champion of women. She isn’t compassionate.

From a media/PR perspective: if I were a brand that was working with her I would run. She issued an apology and her fans seem to be eating it up but I would advise my clients to issue a statement of condemnation and sever ties.

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dark-mnjiro · 2 years ago

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We love cowards who hide behind anon because they’re scared cunts and can’t show their real username because they would reported and banned for telling another user to “off themselves”.

This is such a tired argument.

Elle you were way more mature than I could be.

The fact is you not only told someone to off themselves - but a POC writer as well. Not a cute look for you bestie. Kinda looks problematic and gross on you.

Elle is a fantastic human being who has more talent in her pinky than you would pray to have in your entire body. And it’s really funny that you fucking social justice keyboard warriors come for content creators calling us “problematic” but you sure eat that shit up.

Pedo bitches like you only got two brain cells one is “child porn child porn” and the other is just being stupid don’t fucking write about minors if you don’t want minors to read it those minors characters was never and will never be for ugly old depressed hags like you characters don’t have to age just because your ass gonna die alone I hope your depression gets so bad you finally end it all

Or how about don’t read my stuff and we can all be happy? If you have such a problem with what I write there’s a simple solution

Ignore me and move on with your life

Whomever you are, I hope you realize that these characters are fictional and do not determine how people act or where their interests may be in real life. I can’t control who reads or interacts with my stuff so I put up warnings for everything, even if it’s SFW which most of my content is to let them know that my space is not minor friendly. It’s not because I’m sexually attracted to minors in real life, it’s more so because minors reading/interacting with anything sexual is just not okay.

It’s all not real, it’s a fantasy. It’s fake, it’s made up. Being in a fandom and making content has no age and who are you to gate-keep? Like I said earlier if you don’t like what I do, just don’t interact. It’s clear you follow me as you’ve seen my mental health struggles and decided to have the “balls” to go on anon and say this to me

Basically: it’s my blog, leave me alone, it’s all fiction, and never ever tell someone to unalive themselves

#tw: discourse #tw: hate anon #tw unalive threaten

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restoringsanity · 8 years ago

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How about some words on the subject of 'abuse' in fiction, or shipping couples with an 'abusive dynamic',

the basic concept of 'shipping' is thinking that two (or more) characters would be interesting together. What constitutes as interesting is subjective. You can be interested in ideas that are toxic, problematic, unhealthy, gross, vile, and whatever else. Being interested in those things has no bearing on whether or not you're a good (or bad) person. (Let's be real for a second – of course it doesn't.) Your interest can be entertained by discussing the subject, by creating content for it, etc.

Being interested in something controversial (in fiction) doesn't mean you condone it, endorse it, support it, or consider it anything other than interesting.

Those who claim that 'shipping abuse' is wrong, because it romanticizes that specific relationship dynamic, are twisting the entire concept of being interested in something into a grotesque reflection of one's ethics and morals.

Those who claim that 'shipping abuse' is wrong, because it marginalizes and trivializes the experiences of survivors of abuse and further makes them 'relive' their trauma, are instrumentalizing real suffering (their own, or that of others) to control media that they disagree with. If you cannot stomach a certain type of content – avoid it. If you think a certain type of content is personally attacking you without any evidence to support such an accusation – you need to consider that not every type of content that deals with a subject that you have personal experience with is about you.

Those who claim that 'shipping abuse' is wrong, because it gives people the idea that that type of relationship dynamic is healthy and good, are underestimating the critical thinking skills of those consuming that type of content, but seeing as how they don't possess those very same critical thinking skills, it's easy for them to assume that no one has the ability to differentiate between fictional concepts and real life action. – If some misguided individual treats fictional concepts as manuals for real life interaction (because I know your fingers are already hovering over the '5' and '0' on your keyboard), then that's entirely the responsibility of the person in question. Additionally, I'm including both healthy and unhealthy fictional concepts. It doesn't matter if what you ship is the fictional embodiment of all things good, pure and wholesome, it's still not representative of what's going to make a real relationship work. It's fiction. D'uh.

#abuse mention #abuse tw

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incorrectly-quoted-queers · 5 years ago

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Drunk Punch Love 2: Chapter 5

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22089466/chapters/54170929

Part 2- Chapter 5: Biotic Bitches

It was like Joker was trying to kill her. That, or was trying to make her kill everyone else.

Somehow, in his verbal battles with EDI, he'd managed to malfunction the docking port of the Normandy so here they were, trapped in the decontamination bay, waiting for the door to goddamn open.

Anya wouldn't mind it too much, if she wasn't trapped in here with the angriest biotic she'd ever met, Jacob "I don't sleep with subordinates" Taylor, and Barbie Tits herself.

Her bizarre, natural leader charisma normally meant she got along with everyone she ever met, but this new crew really was testing her. Zaeed was always way too sketchy, but otherwise kept to himself. Miranda was always judgmental and prying into her private life. Jacob was too friendly, and even though she was pretty sure it wasn't romantic, it made her uncomfortable. Mordin always rambled in science garble, and while she found it endearing, her soldier brain could barely keep up. The only team-members she really related to were the Odd Couple in the cockpit and the heavily drugged turian in med-bay.

And the new gal, Jack? She was something else. From the second their eyes met, she looked ready to tear Anya's throat out with her teeth.

The dossier made it clear Jack had been through shit, and that the heavy biotic had gripes about Cerberus, but she didn't expect shit to be this bad.

If those doors didn't open soon, she was pretty sure someone was going to crush skulls. It was an awkward day to be the only non-biotic in the room. If she went haywire, she had no barrier to protect her.

Jack was the first to pierce the silence. "I'm working my own damn way through the dumb fact that I'm willingly putting myself on a Cerberus hell-ship, but why in the fuck did you bring your Cerberus operatives, Shepard? You said you read my fucking file, right?"

Tipping her head back, Shepard was kinda hoping it'd roll off. It was preferable to the tense air in here. "I figured bringing a merc to a prison was a bad idea, and our scientist was busy synthesizing something. I apologize for their existence."

"Apology will only be accepted if I get to kill them."

"Absolutely not."

Across from her she could tell Miranda was getting testy. Her body was relatively still, but her arms and legs were crossing, like the more she wound herself up the better shot she'd have of pushing the frustration down.

"Pity. It's kinda badass to rip people in half."

But that seemed enough to push her over. Cutting her blue eyes at Jack, Miranda stood up and said, "Shouldn't you be thankful you're not rotting in that prison cell anymore?"

Anya knew whatever Miranda said wouldn't go over well, but from the way Jack's lips had turned and her face looked like it goddamned curdled, it was worse than expected. "Ah yeah, so fucking thankful to go from a prison that at least knows its bullshit to a prison that's going to try to bullshit me that its not."

"The Normandy's not-"

"The choice was get on your ship or blow the fuck up. Where are the real options there?"

While she wanted to step in between them, she was already pretty over this squabbling the last half hour of the mission. She just wanted to get out of this damn scenario.

But, then she remembered that she was the Commander of this vessel and it wasn't really a choice. No matter how annoying they were being, these three were part of her team now. Made her fucking miss Wrex and Ashley's bickering, because they actually listened to each other, even when they were being assholes. That was a tragic truth to accept, missing Ash's problematic, systematic racism issues. Everyone was prickly here with no remorse.

Just as she leaned forward to tell the two to shut the fuck up, Jacob stood up and tried to walk over to Miranda. "Miri, you're just tired-"

When he got close, she slapped his hand away. "Don't "Miri" me or tell me what I'm feeling. It's none of your business."

Okay, Shepard was generally a romantic idiot, but she understood that kind of exchange. That was the kind where two people once were on "Miri" terms and now they weren't.

Ready to toss a pistol, Anya accepted she couldn't just lean forward. She had to stand. Honestly, she was so over it she even pulled her pistol out of her holster and held it in her fist, hoping to make a point. "Every irritiable biotic in this room, please sit the fuck down and shut up. If you need to work out your issues, we can all do that privately in one-on-one conversations. But bickering like you're about to blow us out of this airlock is unhelpful and slightly too much of a threat for me not to take seriously. So if you'd all like to keep your place on this ship, and you left eyeballs, please keep it together. At least until the door opens."

As if on cue, the metal slid away from each other, revealing a wide-eyed Engineer Donelly. Anya was pretty sure he wasn't liking the sight of everyone standing and her gun out. And there was a fair shot he heard every word of her angry speech. Anya had to admit, she pitied the guy. She didn't want to be forced to deal with them either. Sighing, she holstered and gestured towards the exit. "Great timing. Please all leave."

Miranda and Jacob seemed tense as they walked out, but Anya grabbed Jack's arm as she walked by. The woman jerked her arm away like the Commander was a fucking spider. Rolling her eyes, Anya said, "You come with me. We're heading somewhere particular first."

"What, taking me to the fucking dressing room so that I can get on my cute little Cerberus slacks? You can fuck off if you think you're getting me in a uniform."

"One, those are gross and I wouldn't make anyone wear them. Two, no. We're heading to get you checked up." Shepard was practically speed-walking to the elevator. There were way too many elements she had to handle here, so she needed to get Jack dropped off to deal with a more personal one. One that insisted she didn't like prying.

Jack glared at Shepard ushered them into the elevator. "You do know that just because I was at a prison I wasn't infested with space tics or whatever, right? Asshole wanted to sell me, of course he kept the merchandise in decent condition."

"Stop acting so suspicious. It's just a routine check-up; every newcomer gets it. You're not special." As they walked up to med-bay, Anya added, "But don't worry, I'll make sure that Chakwas gives you an extra dose of genuine human kindness so you really lose your goddamn mind."

Even though she frowned, Jack did look less irritated than before. "I guess that's not totally sinister."

"Thank you. I'll be back in a little while, so don't blow up my med-bay, please."

"Now that you asked, I have to blow it up." Anya didn't have the fucking brain cells to deal with Jack's snark. She just glared and the biotic changed her tune, "Okay fine, I won't."

"Good."

After she watched Jack walk through the door, she caught a peek at the still comatose patient past her. Chakwas said she'd be able to wake up Garrus any day now, with everything all healed.

God, what a fucking story she'd have for him once he finally got up. This ship was a roller coaster. She only picked up a couple dossiers and she already had a bigger team than ever before, and she still had more to recruit.

But his absence wasn't the focus right now, even if it kept her up at night. He'd be back soon enough to keep her sane. Instead, she had a liaison to deal with.

Walking across the crew deck, she knocked on Miranda's door. Anya was pretty over being in her gear and kinda wished she'd stop back in her room for sweats, but honestly this couldn't wait. She might chicken out if she wasn't fuming about it.

Behind the metal, she heard, "Come in." Anya walked through the opening door and Miranda was already at her desk, writing up some report. Damn woman was thorough, she had to admit. And worse, she kinda respected it. Without looking up, Miranda continued, "Shepard, I'd figure you'd come by. For our new recruit I was thinking she could stay-"

"I didn't come here to talk about Jack."

Miranda's fingers stopped whirring around her keyboard and instead she looked up. "You aren't?"

"No." Cracking her knuckles, Anya inhaled and then said it as plainly as she could, "Miranda, what the hell went on between you and Jacob?" The second she asked, Miranda's face managed to pale even more than normal. Bingo. Some shit happened between them at some point. Before Miranda could even open her mouth, Shepard sat down across from her and put her hands together. "And more importantly, after going all "don't compromise the mission for feelings" on me, why did you choose to not share your own personal relationship?"

"Jacob and I aren't together. It's purely professional."

"For you, maybe." She saw that look of heartbreak and longing in Jacob's eyes; at the very least he missed "Miri", whatever the hell happened with them. Anya said, "I'm just saying it's a bit hypocritical and I don't appreciate it. It's not fair to hold me to a higher standard than you do yourself."

Those damned eyebrows furrowed at her as Miranda crossed her arms. Anya didn't want to know how many times she'd have to see that look over the course of the mission. "With all due respect Shepard, I have to hold you to a higher standard. I spent the last two years putting you back together, and we did it so you could save the galaxy. Nothing can get in the way of that mission."

Anya wasn't taking the bullshit. This time, she wasn't fresh off of exhaustion and panic over her best friend. This time, she was Commander motherfucking Shepard and she was sick of the members of this ship running amok. It was time for her to fill the role she was always meant to fill.

Placing her hands on Miranda's desk, she looked directly into those pretty blue eyes and started talking, "That was lovely and condescending, but you said you'd let me do things my way. And you want to know how I did things last mission? By getting personal. That's why my team trusted me so much and how we ended up changing things." On that personal note, Anya was way too aware that staying a stranger to her team wasn't helping things. With a beleaguered sigh, she said, "Also, just please actually work out whatever the hell is going on with Jacob, okay? Because I've received the heart-eyed looks and been the pathetic puppy-eyed person myself, and they both only keep happening if nobody deals with it."

Across from her, Miranda looked suddenly vulnerable, like there was something she wasn't saying here. Remembering there was a difference between Kaidan's persistence and outright stalking, she added, "But if he won't get over himself, I'll kick him off the ship for you. You do need to grow a pair, but if he's just harassing you that's not fair."

When Miranda looked up at her, she looked surprised and a little caught off guard. "T-Thank you, Shepard."

"I hope you know I didn't mean for this to turn supportive. I came in here fully pissed."

"I gathered from the body language." With a laugh, annoyingly perfect as always, Miranda drummed her fingers on her desk like she was running a million files through her head. After a few seconds, she finally seemed to have decided what she wanted to say. "For what it's worth, I am sorry for prying. Maybe I have a hard time trusting people to have the right intentions, so I assume any relationship is a distraction. But that's on me, not you."

Anya nodded, surprised herself with Miranda's candor. "I appreciate the humbleness. You're not quite what I expected from Cerberus, and I still hate your boss' guts, but you're pretty okay."

"I'll take it as a compliment."Raising a single, angular eyebrow, Miranda asked, "Anything else?"

"Good job on not killing Jack. She's... prickly. Don't worry about placing her, I'll figure it out for-" Just then, there was a crash across the hall. Between her rage and panic, Shepard's voice jumped an octave. She swore to God... "For fuck's sake."

Anything going on with Miranda was forgotten. All Anya could think about was Chakwas and Garrus in med-bay with the unstable biotic, and how it was her damn fault she left them alone with her. If she hurt them-

Rushing over to med-bay, Shepard entered and saw an entire shelf thrown into the wall, leaving a sizable dent. Across the room was Chakwas and Jack, one looking a little rattled and Jack just had her arms crossed like a petulant child. She threw her hands up, exasperated. "The hell? I gave you one job."

Chakwas chimed in, "To give her credit, I did ask her to hand me the medi-gel so I could test out how her biotics were they're still adjusting to freedom."

"Christ." Rubbing her temple, Shepard tried to breathe away the anger. Constantly fighting with Jack wasn't going to solve any of the tension, so she needed to calm down. But the fact Garrus' sleeping face was about a foot from the wall dent made "calm" a little hard. "Just be careful. And if you hurt the patient over there, you get the airlock, got it?"

Jack groaned and said, "Fine. Sheesh what stick do you have up your ass?"

"You don't even want to talk about sticks up asses with me." Anya just had to keep her eyes off Garrus and she'd keep her cool. If she thought about him too much, things would get a little messy. And Jack's existence on this ship was already messy.

So, when she got to talking, she was probably a little too loud and aggressive. Fuck it. Gesturing to Jack, she said, "Now get it together, we're going on a goddamned tour of the ship so we can find a suitable room for you!"

"Uh.. Thanks?"

"You're. God. Damn. Welcome." Pausing by the elevator, she said, "But first I have to change my pants and to get this fucking bun gone. This day has been too stressful for either of those things to still be on my body. I need sweats to survive."

"I thought perfect Alliance soldier types didn't do loose hair or sweats."

"Well, that's not me. So get used to it."

Waiting in her doorway, Jack actually had this smirk on, where she looked somewhat pleased, but also annoyed that she felt any interest. To be honest, Anya kinda liked it. The biotic said, "Angry hot Cerberus operatives, disgruntled ex-Alliance heroes, and a surprisingly cool old lady doctor?" Anya changed into her sweats and pulled out her hair. Thank god. Sweet release. Sticking her hands in her pockets she walked them both back to the elevator. Jack gave her a once over, like she was some bizarre, completely alien person. "Maybe this ship won't be the worst thing that's happened to me."

When Anya thought of Garrus, she still wished the big guy was up and keeping her company in the madness. And maybe this wasn't an easy crew to get along with, not like her first one. But there were bright spots, in surprised, awkward liaisons and smirking ex-cons.

Taking a deep breath in, Anya accepted this crew would never be like her old one. They didn't have to be, though. She met Jack's eyes slightly above her and smiled. "You know what? Same."

Now all she needed was Garrus to wake up and she could really get this bizarre new band of misfits going. The "dynamic duo", as Joker called them, would lead this suicide squad in style.

Well, assuming their talk when he woke up went well.

Anya hoped it would.

///

I am so excited to share next chapter! My guys, it is wayyyy too long (as is the chapter after it) but we're about to hit a really exciting turning point in Garrus and Anya's relationship.

Preview: The next chapter is named The Lobsters. I am very proud of that title on many levels haha

Anyway, thank you so much for reading! And extra thanks for participating in my discord and always reading my newest chapters, my fantastic patrons:

Danyell Jones

Amy Connolly

#Drunk Punch Love #Shakarian #Femshep x Garrus #Garrus Vakarian #Anya Shepard #Friends to lovers #Awkward flirting #Team bonding #Jack #Miranda Lawson #Chakwas #Mass Effect Fanfiction

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charredasperity · 8 years ago

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Carni’s Life Advice

Being a paying customer doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole

Brush and floss, it’s a pain but losing your teeth is worse

If you’re an artist, make sure you actively get your portfolio around if you want a job, otherwise you’d better get good at drawing furry commissions

Also study life drawing, it’s boring, but it will help a ton

Know the difference between problematic and really fucking offensive, and how to adjust your response accordingly

Don’t believe anything you read on the internet without fact checking from a reputable source

Don’t idolize people, for one they could turn out to be major douchebags, and also you could find yourself copying are robbing yourself of originality

Being a dick as a joke is still being a dick

Keep your workspaces organized, it helps reduce work related stress, if only just a tiny bit

Don’t waste your time on people who don’t like you for you, being fake helps no one

Don’t be ashamed to play games on easy, if you bought it you should enjoy it within your ability

Alternatively, if you want to buy a game for story and nothing else, just watch a commentaryless playthrough on youtube and save yourself 60 dollars

Clean your keyboard regularly, it gets really gross especially if you have long hair or dry skin

Don’t be ashamed to use lotion/moisturizer if you’re a dude, doing something “feminine” is much better then having gross ashy skin

Also gender norms are bullshit, dudes can wear pink, girls can like sports, don’t limit yourself because of what society says

No matter how lonely you are, don’t settle for a significant other that doesn’t respect you

Do what you love any oppurtunity you can, the world’s a depressing place, enjoying yourself is a way to rebel against it

Don’t dismiss people’s life experiences

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yhji · 8 years ago

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What Does Grindr’s “Gaymoji” Say About The Gay Community?

Grindr isn’t exactly my favourite thing in the world, but I think there’s been at least one point in a gay man’s life when the dating and hookup application has been downloaded. Of course you’ll tell yourself it’s just out of pure curiosity and the very notion of ever wanting to actually meet someone off there is rather gross. Yeah, keep telling yourselves that. In actual fact, Grindr can be used in a variety of different ways from hookups, to dating and possibly even a relationship could stem from the controversial and supposedly seedy app. Recently, the Grindr team have been busy grinding out new tools and widgets that are now usable like the filter where you can separate the tops from the bottoms and the old men from the hairless twinks, which seemingly appears to further the problematic division of gay men- an allegation that has been thrown at Grindr in the past.

But what’s really new is the Grindr emoji’s. Dubbed by Grindr as the ‘’Gaymoji”, the app has introduced some pretty saucy emoji’s that I don’t think even Apple would be able to stomach just incase the hetero’s caught wind. On the other hand, the main question is what does the introduction of Gaymoji say about the gay community as a whole? I needed to find out for myself.

After a week of splitting up with my boyfriend, it felt a little weird getting back on Grindr, but I definitely appreciated the immediate notification telling me not to put off my sexual health check-up’s, which certainly says a lot about what kind of app Grindr is. It provokes the notion that whilst Grindr is used typically for sex and hookups, the use of Gaymoji ushers in almost comical sense to the meaning of sex. It’s almost as if Grindr doesn’t want to be considered as a morally questionable app like it’s been accused of in the past, however bringing an airy light-heartedness towards potentially dangerous meet-up’s doesn’t sit too well with me. I’m also greeted by another widget called “Grindr Deals”, offered me a pack of six bottles of wine, all for the price of £29.99. Thanks, Grindr!

The app itself has become a paradox of mixed-messages. If I want to go onto the app for sex, then why would I want to fill out a form about sexual health and more importantly, who cares about wine that much? Not to mention the Trainline adverts which ultimately remind me to make that visit back from Uni to home. It’s as if Grindr wants me to go home back to the small-minded town where I was constantly tortured for being gay. Thanks again, Grindr! After speaking to a cute guy for about half an hour, for educational purposes of course, I decided to continue with my Grindr studies and start experimenting with the Gaymoji’s. My new profile picture had been accepted. I was ready.

I was only an hour into Grindr when I’d already been bombarded with a concoction of Eggplant’s, Butt’s, Hairy Chests, Rupaul’s, Rainbow’s, and surprisingly enough, drug and pill Gaymoji’s. The list that I mentioned seems to perfectly sum up a little chunk of the gay community which is questionable seeing as our community has spent so long attempting to break free of the stereotypes heterosexual people view us as. Despite the strife and struggle, the community appears to be giving into depictions by creating Gaymoji’s like that. Of course shows like Rupaul’s Drag Race and Rainbows are embedded into LGBTQA+ culture, but an app that promotes the use of hookups accompanied by cheeky Gaymoji’s of cartoon men exposing their butts and Top Bunk | Bottom Bunk Gaymoji’s promotes an unhealthy idea of what the gay community stands for. Some may see it as all fun and games, but when an app used primarily for hookups begins to create a farce out of casual sex, that’s when the gay community let’s itself down.

Already there has been controversy about the Gaymoji, with an emoji’s with the letter “T” has been removed from emoji keyboard after claims that Grindr was trying to support the use of drugs within the gay community. Whilst there was speculation that the Gaymoji could just be a slang for “tea” or an abbreviation for “top, many users have came to the conclusion that the Gaymoji could stand for “Tina” which is slang for crystal meth. There’s many different abbreviations about what “T” could stand for however whether it means “top” or “tea” it still reinforces that ideal about what the gay community stands for, focusing either around primarily sex or an overly flamboyant attitude that gay men are commonly stereotyped as. However just because the T Gaymoji has been removed doesn’t remove the fact that men are simply going to stop using crystal meth, and Grindr has in turn created a keyboard based around the stereotypes that the gay community have spent years trying to erase. Placing a comical spin on hookups opens up a whole can of eggplants that is quite disturbing when you think about it.

After my educational trip around Grindr, I deleted the app whilst telling myself that I absolutely won’t open it up again because it’s petty to constantly check whether my ex-boyfriend is on there already. No, I’ll never download the awful thing again. Let us all keep telling ourselves that, shall we?

#its been a while since i posted some of my opinion writing pieces lol #x #r

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og-doubletrouble-kinnie · 8 years ago

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your fave is problematic: squee @blutictacsnmtndew: doesn't accept that they're the best ever, drinks too much mtn dew, doesn't hydrate enough, never actually goes and looks for their canonmates but complains abt being lonely, is 100000x better than me in every way, makes a lot of typos, tewws me not to tawk wike dis but is a fuwwy themsewf,,, I could go on

1. Yeah I fuckin r o c k but I'm not the best... My ego isnt that huge... Yet2. Mtn dew is literally my life force... And water is gross3. ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY sorry I bug you with it t b h4. My phone keyboard sucks asssss so yes i make typos alot5. JUST BECAUSE I'M A FURRY DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO LIKE THAT SHITTY ASS TYPING JEREMY.

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connorcumminsportfolio · 8 years ago

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What Does Grindr’s “Gaymoji” Say About The Gay Community?

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