#kristen talks about cassandra and gertie

[squishymar]

some bad kid tweets bc i’m bored and can’t help a modern au ✨⚔️

[chunky-chee]

Okay, so I know a solid 40% of the new Fantasy High was about Tracker "There's still deep attraction here" O'Shaughnessy, but HERE ME OUT

Gertie Bladeshield is the perfect woman for Kristen Applebees.

Cause, like, look, there was a lot of talk in episode 11 about impulsivity and chaos as an aspect of Kristen's character, mainly in how it's mirrored in Princess "Kristen if she had money" Naradriel, but it's also been a general focus this season, especially in how she often uses it to guard her emotions. Think back to "That's what you think", an incredible improv moment, but if you look at the big picture, Kristen's estranged parents make an incredibly inflammatory statement about her religion right after actively bullying her little brother, and instead of honoring any of the actual negative emotions she's being filled with in that moment, she pirouettes away. It's brought up in the adventuring party after this exact episode how Kristen is a cleric, a high-wisdom class that is naturally insightful, but uses these silly deflections to hold other people back from being insightful into her (hence Mac & Donna's lifetime insight disadvantage)

This isn't just limited to small moments, too. To take a broader look at the season so far, Kristen's chaotic, shrimp-jumping, wrangler-wearing, salsa-dipping, middle-school-campaigning, steel-workers-union-supporting bid for class president is often shown explicitly as a distraction from her existentially important job as the only cleric of Cassandra. Even when trying to earnestly apologize to Cassandra and prove to them that she's gonna prioritize her over class presidency, the only way she can articulate it is "You're the meat, mama." Her emotions are always guarded by some amount of chaos and impulsivity.

Now, how does that relate to Gertie "I've had a crush on you for a really long time" Bladeshield?

In both of the two scenes we've gotten of The Best D20 NPC (/j (but I do really like her)), Gertie has shown a pretty similar propensity for making bold, chaotic decisions in the heat of the moment. However, in my observation, these decisions do NOT come from a place of emotional suppression. Quite the opposite, actually.

Think back to her Grand Entrance into the narrative. Gertie, being one of the last people awake at Fabian's party, gifts her longtime-crush a jar of honey, something that connects directly to her passion/special-interest of beekeeping, in a homemade container designed as a pun on Kristen's last name. (in hindsight, the crush was very obvious) Then, in the middle of her infodumping to her about honey, Kristen's rich friend makes an incredibly dismissive remark about her good-natured gift. This obviously pisses her off, but unlike Kristen "That's what you think" Applebees, Gertie "I don't give a shit who's kid you are" Bladeshield lets herself feel those emotions very loudly, immediately starts a duel with possibly one of the most accomplished sword-fighters in the history of Aguefort, and declares him a life-long nemesis. She acts very brashly and impulsively, but in a way that doesn't hide her emotions, instead expressing them.

(I know there's a lot of talk about outbursts of anger being tied to Ankarna, but not only does the scene not really seem like foreshadowing to me, it's more interesting to see it through the lens of being Gertie's actual actions)

This trend continues with the 12th most noteworthy thing to have happened in episode 11 (which incredibly high acclaim), where after being explicitly asked to talk about bees by her crush, and being placed inches away from her face, kisses her on the lips. Now, excusing the albeit upsetting lack of consent, it once again shows Gertie acting very impulsively in a way that exposes her feelings to the people she likes. With these two instances of characterization being literally the only two scenes we get with her, it poses her as a very interesting parallel to Kristen, someone who shares in her willingness to make impulsive decisions, but differs wildly from her in the way she uses them to react to strong emotions.

However, does this really make Gertie the Autism to her ADHD?

(idk if Gertie really shows autistic traits, I just wanted to say that) Well, part of what Tracker a good companion for Kristen was that, as a fellow cleric, she naturally had very high wisdom, meaning she had enough insight to look past the layers of shrimp and salsa and engage with her on a deep level. However, clerics aren't the only class that cast spells with wisdom, so do rangers, including swarm-keeper rangers, which is a subclass that both has a good few abilities focused on spell-casting and was confirmed to be Gertie's subclass in an adventuring party. While her highest stat still could be dex (which, come to think of it, is a hilarious contrast to Kristen), there's no doubt that Gertie has a higher chance than most at being able to look past Kristen's barriers and see the complex hive of sweet, buzzing emotions underneath.

Hell, maybe that's where Gertie's crush comes from in the first place. Maybe, seeing this popular, proudly sapphic cleric be incredibly playful and chaotic on school grounds, she not only saw a bit of herself, but a little more. Perhaps, the type of mind that dedicates itself to allowing small, harmless critters to prosper even when no-one cares to join her club, is also the type of mind able to recognize when someone isn't allowing their truest emotions to prosper, making her wonder if they might have something to gain from sharing some of that chaos, using it not to hide, but to be free.

Or maybe it's just cause her last name has "bees" in it, idk.

[mulligans-tavern]

https://www.tumblr.com/doomed-to-wanda/747617028751474688?source=share

Inspiration above

TW death, grief

---

Five Funerals

They lose Fig first.

Comes with the territory when you're an archdevil - somebody's always looking to take your spot. "Don't worry about it," she says, opening a Planeshift to the recording studio. "It's just the usual rebellious fiends. Icythorz and Bolhondrus and the rest. I'll be back before you know it." She looks resplendent in black leather, the Unfaithable Bass slung across her back, riding the fiery Daymare surrounded in jagged red shards.

Adaine knows before everyone else, but can't believe the vision to be true until she learns that Ayda is gone, too. She scratched every memory of Fig out of her notes before starting over - it was too much pain to bear. The five of them know how it feels.

---5---

It's a few years before they take another hit. Another mission to the Mountains of Chaos, another world-ending calamity to be stopped because Who Else Is Going To Save The World? A small misstep, a miscalculation (six where there should be five, they're only five now) and suddenly the routine becomes deadly.

Riz takes the fall. "It's easier this way," he says, in his last moments. "I'll still see you." And he does. Agent Gukgak Jr., now, with some extra responsibility. But he still comes by. Sometimes. Every so often. Often enough.

---4---

Kristen is next. Only one thing could bring down the most gifted cleric of the age - sacrificing herself for her friends. Third time's the charm when it comes to death, it turns out.

Gorgug is the most hopeful that she'll come back, that she'll find a way again, like in the Nightmare Forest. But Adaine knows this is the end. Even Arthur Aguefort agrees. He quotes Alanis Morissette at her funeral. The followers of Cassandra pull out all the stops.

Adaine, Fabian, and Gorgug have their own ceremony at Ashgrove, next to the Gukgak family plot. It's quiet. Bucky cries into Ragh's shoulder. Aelwyn, Jawbone, and Gertie collect flowers. Tracker stays for a few minutes to say goodbye.

---3---

They quit adventuring after Kristen's funeral. And they don't lose anyone else for a long time. Riz still visits, every few years. They talk about the good old days, how silly it was that Baron was so terrifying when at the end of the day it was an honest conversation that finally did him in. There's rumours that Kristen has ascended to goddesshood herself - Adaine doesn't buy it. She's not the type to be revered.

They come out of retirement for the only reason they would - to bring back one of their own. They finally found Fig's soul, trapped in a ruby in the darkest levels of the Abyss. They can't ask anyone to come with them - it's too dangerous, it's too personal. It's missions like this that kill people.

And when it's all over, when Adaine carries Fabian's burnt, unconscious body back to Morded Manor, they have another funeral to plan.

Gorbag and Roz have already passed, and Wilma and Digby are too old to make preparations, so it falls to Jawbone to organize it. He knows they don't want a lot of fanfare. It's at Ashgrove again, just Adaine and Fabian and the Thistlesprings, and Aelwyn and Ragh. Sandra-Lynn is back in Solace - she sends Adaine a heartfelt text saying she appreciates the invitation, but she can't bring herself to come.

Riz doesn't show for the ceremony - he's desperately scouring the heavenly realms, trying to make sure Gorgug ended up somewhere he wasn't afraid of. Orcish heaven doesn't have him, he reports, and neither does Cassandra.

If he's trapped in the Abyss with Fig, at least they have each other.

---2---

Adaine sees Fabian's death the night of Gorgug's funeral. She needs to prepare, she tells herself. She knows it's going to be hard. She needs all the time she can get, and she needs to know which goodbye will be their last.

They grow old together. Not romantically, although some speculate. Fabian becomes a multiclass advisor at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. Adaine works in Bastion City as an archivist, with occasional trips to Fallinel for Oracle services. They go for vacations sometimes, but never for too long. The memories find them no matter where they go. Sometimes Adaine wishes she could be Ayda, scrape off the old wounds and start fresh. Arthur talks about her sometimes. She's never had the same spark as that one lifetime, he says.

Adaine watches the wrinkles grow beside Fabian's eye, watches his hair turn grey, watches the Future of Dance become its Mentor. He trades his Battlesheet for a cane-sword, then a regular cane. He takes to wearing the Gregorian necktie to classes, no matter how much it clashes with his outfit. They both wonder how many of their own teachers lost party members.

Adaine holds Fabian's wrinkled hand on his deathbed, in his old room at Seacaster Manor. He grins, flashes the same perfect teeth as on the first day of Freshman Year. "Bet you didn't see this one coming, did you?"

"I did," she whispers, tears streaming down her young elven face. "I knew it would end like this. But I always hoped it would last forever."

They're the last words he hears.

It's not the first funeral Adaine organizes. All the Bad Kids held one for Buddy Dawn, back in high school. She and Fabian worked together on the services for Jawbone, Ragh, and Chungledown Bim - who finally caught up to Fabian in both of their old ages. It is the first funeral she has to organize alone.

Some of Fabian's students attend. Arthur Aguefort gives a short speech, and a few students hear the story of Kalvaxus' return for the first time. Adaine sits with Aelwyn in the front row, a few seats down from Hallariel. Gilear records the service to show Telemaine later. Riz is somewhere deep undercover - he maybe hasn't even heard yet.

She always knew she'd be the last. She didn't expect it to hurt so much.

---1---

Adaine stumbles through a few years before she finds herself again. They pass so fast without a mortal lifespan to hold up against them. She drifts between Fallinel and Bastion City for the most part, with occasional return trips to Elmville. Aelwyn always has a place for her to stay. Seacaster Manor was turned into a dormitory for Aguefort students who needed a place to study, or sleep, or stay away from home for a while. Tracker converted Morded Manor into a temple/bed-and-breakfast for worshipers of Galicaea. Strongtower Luxury Apartments was demolished soon after Fabian started teaching at Aguefort. It seems like everything is different now.

Adaine visits Leviathan once, on a whim. The Compass Points hasn't changed a bit. On a chance meeting in the stacks, Ayda looks at her with a spark of familiarity.

"Adaine Abernant?"

"Yes... you remember me?"

Ayda shakes her head. "There are mentions of you in my journals. I leave journals for when I regenerate-"

"I know. I remember."

Ayda looks intrigued. "I wrote that you were a great wizard, and a good friend. I hear from other sources that you are the Elven Oracle. Perhaps you can shed some light on why the pages around yours are torn to shreds or redacted to the point of unreadability?"

Adaine places a gentle hand on Ayda's shoulder. "I don't know if you'd want that. You lost someone you cared about, so much that you thought it was better to forget her than to bear the pain of losing her."

Ayda considers this. "Is it better to forget?" she asks. "Would you give up the memories of those you lost, in order to keep a logical mind?"

"No. Not for anything."

"Then we should talk."

Adaine smiles. "I'd like that."

---2---

*end

Thanks for reading all the way through! I wrote most of this at 2am and the conclusion the next morning. Please take a reblog to share with your friends or drop a like to let me know you enjoyed - or hated - the story!

Ask me anything about it, please, I love discussing these kinds of theories!!!

[cg11555]

CURRENT FHJY THEORIES

My current conspiracy board for the season

These are my plausible theories and then I'll talk about my batshit insane theories

I think that the rat grinders HAVE lost their memories regarding Lucy's death. I'm inclined to believe that Ratbitch Dogface and MAYBE Ivy remember. I'd bet that they took the honey to lie to Aguefort and the other staff about their involvement with her death.

The mind terrorism that Fig put Ruben through caused him to vomit up a 'Bloody Viscous Substance' And I will not be surprised if Fig has made Ruben remember whatever happened to Lucy

Gertie verified that the honey made from the Devil's nectar is bloody red.

She is making the honey for some local food trucks that we know Are KLKC's

Another thing we know for a fact is that the body of Lucy Frostblade showed marks from multiple assailants including magical, non- magical, and specifically a type of bludgeoning damage that carbonized her blood into red diamonds

This leads us to believe that Lucy's murderers were her own party members. In addition to this, they also found the rage crystals in the dirt and the bodies of Lucy and Yolanda Badgood.

This clearing's destroyed trees shows indications of giant involvement as well

What we currently know leads me to believe that the Rat Grinders attempted a replication of Kristen's spring break miracle

Lucy attempted to resurrect an 'Evil' sibling of her goddess, Ruvina, The unnamed god now known as Ankarna.

This mirrors the Cassandra / Galicaea relationship as well

This attempt clearly backfired in some way I'd bet either resulting in Lucy or the others becoming something similar to the Rage Mages we saw in the battle at the Synod

I think that the Rat grinders are all at various levels of involvement in the upcoming plot involving Ankarna with KLCK being the mastermind AND I KNOW that there's some bullshit going on with the rogue teacher that FOUND KLCK ( Will be unsurprised if this unknown teacher is dead)

We currently do not know how this episode's revelations regarding the name will affect these plans in the upcoming episodes. If this is playing into the preexisting plans or completely destroying them

The way Brennan talked in the most recent AP about how he thought that them finding the name was an inevitability but a scene he thought would happen in the third act of the season makes me think that this will NOT affect the Rat Grinders plans in a majorly significant way. They still have to do something ( some kind of ritual or other ) that the Bad Kids will have stop in the final eps

After learning all about the Historical side of the shifts that Ankarna's domain saw I believe that there is a lot of evidence for a conspiracy against Cassandra and Ankarna involving Sol and Galicaea. But this is still up in the air

Now for my pepe silvia conspiracies . . . Feel free to bully me in the comments for these

ONE- The Time Quangle that Arthur Aguefort dropped on us in the second episode

We know that The Seven have already experienced a large chunk of this year during the GED quest that Aguefort was present for

And lesser men will say that the TIME QUANGLE is BLeeM's way of justifying the continuity errors between these two seasons

I am not one of them

The animated opening sees the Bad Kids falling past clocks and into a diamond prison created by Aguefort which explodes into the BK's falling in a scene eerily similar to them falling into Riz's briefcase of holding. They then face villains from both of the two previous seasons ( Goldenhoard, Kalina, a Corn-cutie, Chungledown Bim, James Whitclaw ( the mindflayer that kicked Fabian's ass during spring break) , Coach Daybreak, and Penelope w/ Dayne) in the Gym they fought Kalvaxus ( VP Goldenhoard ) before we get title cards for each of the Bad Kids

I posit that we will see the Bad Kids tumble through time as a result of not only Agueforts chronomancy adventure with Ayda but also the fuckery involving the time loop at the synod. Visiting their past villains in addition to current threats

TWO- Vice Principal Jace Stardiamond

Facts we know about Aguefort's resident sorcery prof and interim VP . . . Ragh Barkrock SAW him give Adaine's mom and Kalina the Nightmare King's crown from Aguefort's office after prompocalypse, Jace Stardiamond holds a useless position at Aguefort as sorcerers do not need any teaching for an innate ability, despite his uselessness he was chosen to become the VP, he was the person Yolanda Badgood was going to approach about the sinister shit surrounding Lucy Frostblade's 'disappearance' and the paperwork for a new deity she never saw. Yolanda is now dead, even though he is VP; after the death of Interim emergency backup principal Arcturus Grix He is still VP and Student body president Mazey Phaedra is now acting principal. Making room for KLCK to become principal next year if she wins that election.

Reviewing these fact I put forth the following idea, VP Jace Stardiamond is in cahoots with KLCK AND he is the unknown rogue teacher. WHY? how would someone with no knowledge of trickery or thievery manage to take the Nighmare King's Crown from Aguefort's office? How would a man that essentially does nothing as a teacher keep job security? What if the reason that KLCK was found by the rogue teacher was because he is in on the scheme? SPIE'S TONGUE CURSE?? SOMETHING THAT TWO ROGUES IN CAHOOTS WOULD USE DON'T YOU THINK? WHY WOULD HE MAKE RIZ A MEMBER OF THE FACULTY??

[rizs-briefcase]

‼️FHJY EP6 SPOILERS‼️

you know the drill!!!

you know how these start,, MURPH U LOOK SO GOOD (shout out to ur shirt again)

siobhan is also looking fantastic, i love her shirt

brennan is wearing THE shirt i love him

‘you’re doing a better job’ i go back to being invisible

milk and vodka

‘i feel like a bad baby’

i put his dice in the full moon; emily i love you

THE HELIO CLERIC

‘lord, helio?’ ‘yes it’s me’

the bad kids are so unhinged i’m sobbing

‘i know in his final moments he must have repented and,,’ ‘no.. no… he’s in hell now..’

‘our friend kristen was a big cornhead when we met’

riz not knowing half the clubs he’s side up for

‘adaine you can work the door at the next party’

‘damn hot dragonborn about to know your shit’

OISIN I LOVE YOU

FABIAN AND ADAINE BFF CRUMBS !!!

‘i’ll take a break when i break your fucking spine’

‘if your the crabking then i’m the fishermen’ ‘yeah these waters are restricted’ i live ragh and gorgug so much

ragh being so ready to talk about becoming a cleric of cassandra

why was figs first thought when entering fabian’s room to steal some of his clothes please

even just the mention of a para genasi has made me feral,, frost genasi is so fucking cool

OISIN AND IVY ARE IN THE RAT GRINDERS NO I LOVED THEM

kristen and fig are unhinged who lets them together

fetty wap at homecoming i’m crying

emily is so unhinged, what do you mean you’re disguise selfing as this random genasi to try and fuck with people

also other than the rat grinders playing the system; they aren’t even that bad a group. the members all seem okay (famous last words maybe)

the entire group immediately clocking Fig with ‘what if lucy is dead? why are you trying to impersonate their dead friend?’

the running bit about the steel factory is so funny

‘that’s the ice muffets’

i love mazey so so much

mr mulligan what do you have planned

drunk adaine is so so funny

GERTIE I LOVE U LITTLE BEEKEEPER FIRBOLG PLEASE IM SOBBING

the entire party helping Gertie against fabian

new nemesis alert

riz is absolutely spiralling with conspiracies i love him

you cannot go from all the chaos to a kristen/tracker moment please

‘tough but fair, have a great life’ kristen please god

LYDIA YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD IN LIFE !!!

[unsleepingtales]

Ok I did not have a chance to watch the ep last night and I’m mildly hungover today but woo! FHJY party time!

17’s not bad!

A goddess with one cleric, one follower, and a shrimp allergy

KrisFIG Applebees

Oh Cassandra is in literal physical shards? Great. Fantastic.

Everyone here... makes steel. And I think that's wonderful. (Still one of the best moments I've ever seen)

You're doing a better job 😭

She LOST money

Very fucked up white russian

This is what they drink in the jungle!

They're so silly I love them so much

'I don't do this to you' zac started playing it out and beardsley immediately felt so guilty

Oooh love a full moon dice cleanse!

Ohh he's the church guy

It's filled with water 😡

KRISTEN

I'm glad at least one of them also feels weird about tricking someone who really doesn't want to drink into drinking.

"You gotta go right to their house and tell the Applebees house and tell them that their daughter's good"

"He must have repented an-" "Oh nooooo"

You should go to hell sometime! It's really fun!!

It must actually be so lovely for Kristen to hear her friends talk about her with so much love <3

Hellhound!Hangman!!!! <3<3<3 So cute I love him

I love the idea that instead of advisories or anything the yearbooks are grouped by party

Really idiosyncratic high fives. Incredible.

A Gardener's Dozen!!

What is this guy's vibe. I can't clock the vibe.

This blue dragonborn is hot I haven't even seen art

OH THERE'S THE ART yep he's hot.

The energy, the conjuration glyph tattoos.......

Hi Skrank!

Riiiiight dragonborn. Hoards. Etc

Tragic

I love Siobhan's collar pins so much. I need more collar pins.

That's SO cool.

Adaine. Fig's not infectious Oisin is distracted by you.

EY???

That 'I'm so tired' came from Brennan's soul

What the FUCK are you two TALKING about

ohhh I've been bested :|

y'all Kalina is currently discorporated

Watching Brennan's physicality change through that speech was great

ok but guys. Ragh taking a cleric level would not be the worst thing

AWWWWW 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

I love them SO much

I love friends that steal each other's clothes it is true and real

The High 5 Heroes! Ok!

Ok what happened to Lucy Frostblade

We're not in the library you can't rip pages out!

Are they still in the party? They weren't wearing pins right? Are they so intense because they already had to go pass/fail for a year when some of them left the party??

THERE'S A FACE BEHIND EVERY PIECE OF STEEL THAT YOU USE IN YOUR DAY TO DAY LIFE.

Kristen I love you to the ends of the earth. But why do you love the steelworkers plant so much.

What are you DOING

Ohoho spreading the message. For a second I was convinced they were gonna say spreading the gospel. And that would have been weird.

Isn't Max a senior?

Concerning!

Girl what if she's DEAD????

Someone tagged his house :((

He has to live here tomorrow :((

Babe are you sure you want to be the party house?

One last time?? What are you gonna do to the page?

So glad I'm not the only one who had the what if she's dead thought

'I am compartmentalizing in a way that makes me think I will be doing this the rest of my life' OUCH. You can't just say that man c'mon.

Fabian had a signed copy of catcher in the rye????

Reliable Talent is so neat

ALLY

Yeah it's a utopia

You could make a really campy entrance oh my GOD

Awww

That's the ice muffets drunk adaine you have my heart

Fuck yeah Fig

Eeeesh

Mazey is so cool.

With tears in her eyessss

Mazey is a cig figs fan!!! Love that for her!

I love some exploration of bardic power. It's so delightful. Art resonates with the universe!!

Love Gorgug running some interference

Ok so just bc they're not wearing the pins doesn't mean they're not still in the party.

AND FOR WHAT

Oh god what did they do

Put it in the hangvan make it a plane

Are we not allowed to take drugs?? We murder people!

Adaine is actually sleeping!!! Oh I just read a great fic about elves and sleeping vs trancing.

Gertie Bladeshield is so pretty

That is ADORABLE. IT'S AN APPLE BEE. I LOVE HER.

Hell yeah Gertie

oh SHIT

If we get the bees on our side we'll be unstoppable 😭

Trackerrrrr

AUGH.

Oh shit she can't cast right now?? I mean yeah that makes sense but oh god.

Jawbone is her UNCLE. BABE.

Oh GOD.

GIRLIE. KRISTEN.

Oh noooooo

of COURSE

Adaine Abernant I love you so much <3

HAVE A GREAT LIFE?????? You live in the same HOUSE

Aelwyn what are you up to

Oh damn ok so it might not be a pass/fail issue

Is it?? is it perfectly put??

A real dark night of the soul :(

Oooooooof

Emily with her legs curled up at the table she's just like me fr

Ohhhh no ok

Oh fun have downtime rules changed?

oh GOD the red gems are back

fun episode gang :)