#kyle npmd

[charlotte-fleming]

Here’s my take on Max Jägerman - he is NOT the progressive bully that asks Pete’s pronouns before beating the shit out of him, what he IS is a dumbass.

For example he’ll overhear Caitlyn (Cool Kid™️ so he respects her) talking to Kyle about taking her estrogen and assume it’s a drug and ask for a hit. Kyle and Caitlyn, confused, explain that it’s a hormone girls devolop that guys don’t have to the same level, and Caitlyn obviously has less so takes supplemental doses. Max thinks this means Caitlyn has a medical condition and is like “Oh my god dude I’m so sorry you’re sick? Do you like go to the hospital? Nah I’m not trying to take anyone’s meds my bad bro,” and Caitlyn is too dumbfounded and also entertained to correct him.

Later, in the case that he does not fall and die, Max eventually apologizes to Richie for all the times he punched him in the balls. Richie goes “it’s chill - besides, I don’t even have balls, so it didn’t even hurt as much as you though”. Max is MORTIFIED with sympathy “You don’t have balls?? Oh my god dude how come?” Ruth without a beat says he lost them in a tragic accident many years ago and Max fully believes her. Richie goes along for the bit.

Even further along the line, Max asks about the trans flag on Richie’s bag and Richie explains it’s for people who were born the wrong gender and want to change. Max goes “Wait dude you want to be a girl? Shittt why didn’t you tell me?! Do you have a new name or something like that? Like…Richietta?”

The real progressive bullies, obviously, are pre-Max’s death Kyle and Jason, who apologize before beating someone up and then defend their pronouns in the same breath.

[kingdreverette]

Scaring Max Jagerman (gone wrong) (Kyle in the hospital) (almost dies)

[zizziey]

for the 5 kyle and max shippers out there i see u

[hatchet-tweets]

Happy Halloween, expect at least 4 posts today

[lidsquid69]

People go missing in Hatchetfield everyday

[inkwell-illustrations]

🏈claugerman moodboard with sports themes!🏈

day fourteen of making starkid content everyday until they come back to LA

[spac3-pup]

how curt mega feels after making 341 roles in only one musical

[jagermanwillrise]

have you seen him?

now you have 🤗

[deconstructthesoup]

Thinking about a Nerdy Prudes Must Die swap AU

Steph---the mayor's kid who was put under a lot of academic pressure growing up, resulting in her getting lumped in with the nerds despite her struggling in school. She has to try twice as hard as everyone else, which gets seen as her being a buzzkill who does nothing but study, which makes teachers expect more from her... and, yeah, she's infinitely stressed. So stressed and burnt out, in fact, that when a pop quiz gets thrown at her out of nowhere, she finally breaks and asks to cheat off of...

Pete---one of the few popular kids who's popular not because he can play football or soccer or whatever, but because he's genuinely nice. He's taken Ted's advice just enough so he can seem cool without actively being a sleazeball, and he's even managed to be class president. Of course, he's still got a lot of nerdy interests he keeps under the rug, and he's also a lot smarter than he passes himself off as---so he never in a million years would've suspected that the mayor's cute nerdy daughter would want his help on a test, but he's prepared. Until, of course, they get caught by...

Max---the pastor's son who's well known throughout the school to be a judgmental and self-righteous asshole, holding himself and others to ridiculously high standards. He's still an untouchable menace, but instead of it being because he's a football star, it's because every single teacher and authority figure is swayed by his Good Christian Boy attitude, despite the fact that he has a C average (hey, you don't need to worry about grades if you're just going to take over running the church when you grow up). By all accounts, he's pretty much perfect---except for the fact that he has a secret thing for...

Grace---the head cheerleader who still grew up in a very Christian family, but she's embraced her crazy and has successfully talked her parents into letting her do more stereotypical high school stuff like, well, cheerleading ("it looks good on my college transcript, and it's a way for me to get steady exercise and keep myself in shape") and the occasional party ("it's just a fun thing between friends, and if any of them do anything reckless, I want to be there to help"). In reality, of course, she's the most unhinged popular girl in the history of ever, and nobody fucks with her because she's the type of girl who will bite you if you give her shit.

Brenda and Kyle are Steph's fellow struggling nerdy friends---Brenda got lumped in with the nerds because she's in the fandom zone, despite the fact that her head's usually in the clouds and she can barely pass classes, and Kyle's the awkward theater guy who's a total romantic but can't even properly talk to people he likes. By contrast, Richie and Ruth are Pete's friends, and while they aren't exactly cool, everyone knows Richie as the weirdly funny school mascot, and Ruth is Pete's incredibly cocky vice president. So, social clout.

And, uh... yeah

[th3j4germe1ster]

Hi bro

- Kyle

Hey dude !

[klolz50kal-but-nothorny]

Everyone's favorite sodas/pops/cokes (npmd teens)

Richie: Baja blast mountain dew. (Duh) or the coca cola with cane sugar I had once that made me like coke

Ruth: cherry pepsi

Pete: Regular (full sugar) Coke

Max: on the rare occasion he drinks pop, sprite he thinks its healthy because it's clear.

Kyle: diet coke (steph liked it first, he doesn't drink soda for the most part.)

Steph: diet coke

Jason: orange fanta (sometimes he ends up finishing his little siblings rootbeer floats and those are his *actual* favorite but he'll never say that out loud)

Grace: rootbeer (zero sugar)

Brenda: Strawberry and Cream Dr Pepper

Stacy: diet coke (SHE was the og Diet Coke girlie. Steph thought she was.)

[kingdreverette]

Doodle

[zizziey]

Kyle and maxxy poo (repost because I didn’t like the color 💔)

[hatchet-tweets]

[lidsquid69]

I made this out of boredom.

[ihatetheinternetandeveryoneonit]

I don't yet see the Kyle x Max vision (give me time), but to use "dick-hole" as an insult was most certainly a choice.