#last year 😭 ugh anyway i need to fucking do work 😭😭😭

[nomairuins]

anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day

[jennilah]

Jenna, can you give us a rundown of who these Saw people are for everyone who follows you but has not seen and will never see the Saw franchise?

ok my beautiful and very accepting followers gather round i am going to try to provide you some basic context to these characters that feature heavily on this blog these days, and i HAVE smoked a bowl of weed already

majorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fucking series spoilers for anyone who might actually kind of be interested

mkay first of all despite what my blog might lead you to believe, this guy is like. the OG antagonist. the main dude for the whole franchise even when hes not technically present for most plotlines. all of his scenes are baller af

his name is John Kramer and he is the original Jigsaw Killer. He truly believes he can rehabilitate people who dont appreciate their lives (or commit crimes or take advantage of people) by putting them in saw traps. he pretends its not personal but it totally is. hes always putting people he personally beefs with in traps.

hes deeply fucked up but also really fascinating tbh like the whole fun of his character is seeing what reason hes gonna come up with to justify his next atrocity and how he manipulates everyone around him into doing his bidding. hes a mastermind. hes also Peepaw. Peepaw is kind of crazy but we love Peepaw

This is Billy hes a puppet

Billy is good

This is Adam Stanheight everyones favorite dead boy

hes so funny and charming and is also such a sopping wet pathetic sad rat. everyone loves Adam. We love pretending Adam is gonna come back but hes been super dead for years

This is Lawrence Gordon the guy he was stuck in the bathroom with and he does, yes, saw his foot off to free himself from his chain. hes an oncologist

everyone loves shipping him with Adam, thats called Chainshipping and its very cute but also very sad

esp because Lawrence turns to the dark side and becomes an apprentice to Jigsaw and never went back to save Adam like he PROMISED what the FUCK

but also i love Apprentice!Lawrence because of all the nutty implications and what other fun it has given us (such as AUs where Adam lives and even sometimes joins Lawrence as an apprentice himself)

This is Amanda Young she has many,. haircuts

I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER 😭😭😭😭 Shes an apprentice to Jigsaw and his pseudo adopted daughter and they have such a fucked up and tragic found family with each other.

i love that shes messy and emotional and vengeful and sarcastic and battling personal demons and questioning whether John's "rehabilitation" method really works (aka saw traps) and being unsure if she can take up the mantle when he passes. but he believes in her. and god they make me fucking emotional

this is Lynn Denlon shes a doctor kidnapped to treat John's cancer. and people ship her with Amanda, thats Shotgunshipping. it goes pretty hard tbh

like their scenes go fucking crazy through a shipping lens oh my fucking god. actually they all do tbh thats part of the fun of shipping in this franchise

oh boy big sigh here we go

this is Detective Mark Hoffman who is unfortunately my favorite character and i am REALLy high now. if u ever get confused like MANY of us did, you can recognize him by his bitch lips and/or boobies. ugh im gonna throw up i hate his ass

that last one oh my fucking god

anyway hes actually awful but i love him so much and at first i was scared that i was the only one who did LMAO.. anyway he also gets recruited by Jigsaw as another apprentice when he was in a very dark place, having just killed the murderer of his little sister. he made it look like a saw trap to frame Jigsaw.

but Jigsaw found out & was like nuh uh bitch you're working for me now, or else I'm telling on you.

But then Hoffman was like guess what bitch I LOVE it here and i LOVE killing. he becomes the Jigsquad problem child and proceeds to kill or manipulate everyone he needed to so he could be the sole "Jigsaw" remaining. But he's sloppy and paranoid af so the FBI is on his ass from day 1. And the more he kills, the sloppier he gets, and the more frantic and unable to dig himself out of this hole he gets. and the more violent and crazy he gets. But the more crazy he gets, the more he keeps evading death like a cockroach. For real, watching his downfall was the major appeal of his character for me, and the start of my downfall..ing in love with him. lord almighty

anyway everyone hates his ass and we LOVE bullying him!!!!! he deserves it. for all of the atrocities hes committed and also because hes such a smarmy little shit. even Amanda bullies him

and then we have Peter Strahm who shows up and hates Hoffman immediately, as you do. u can tell its him from his ridiculous eyelashes

and, YEAH, YOUVE GUESSED IT......... PEOPLE LIKE TO SHIP HIM WITH HOFFMAN.......... I KNOW..... RIGHT.... COULDNT BE ME.......

Because he is Hoffman's biggest adversary for two movies, knowingly in one. It's a classic cat and mouse game.

Anyway we love Peter Strahm!!!!! He's also an asshole! He's extremely hotheaded and short tempered but extremely passionate about the case. like, his dedication goes crazy. He's also quite the sassy bitch himself

but its BECAUSE he is also caring and emotional, especially towards his work partner Lindsey Perez WHO WE LOVE BECAUSE SHES AMAZING AND CARING AND SHE'S BEEN PETER'S PARTNER AND FRIEND FOR 5 YEARS THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER I LOVE THEM

and those are the characters but ur probably like "what the fuck is up with the glass coffin" well my friends that is what us Hoffstrahmers refer to as our roman empire.

um i ran out of room for pictures :) but by now yall have seen the two traps reblogged and drawn by me a BILLION times, and those are: the water cube trap, and the glass coffin

so the deal with those:

the water cube trap: Strahm runs off to find Jigsaw himself after wildly following clues with no backup because he's so worked up from Perez getting hurt earlier and he sets off on revenge immediately. Hoffman catches him and puts him in the water cube.

It's meant to just kill him. he wasnt supposed to survive it. but Strahm is suddenly the main character when he fucking survives an unwinnable saw trap the fuckin crowd goes wild, it was fuckin sick dawg

and then through a series of Hoffman backstory flashbacks that he daydreams, he figures out the entirety of Hoffman's real secret identity and sets off to go catch him

and thats when he finds:

The Glass Coffin Trap: the instructions on the Jigsaw tape tell him to get into the coffin, it will hurt him but he will have a chance to survive. "do you trust me?" but he KNOWS its Hoffman and he doesnt trust that motherfucker so he doesnt get in. Hoffman approaches the scene, they get in a scuffle, and Strahm pushes him into the coffin and seals it.

but hoffman is like "neener neener poopoo you're an idiot" and tells him to listen to the rest of the tape. which tells him that if he doesnt get in the coffin, he's gonna fuckin die bro lmao rip

and so he does! hoffman, in the coffin, sinks into the ground like some cartoon villain and the walls close in and squeeze Strahm to death

anyway at first Coffinshipping to me was kind of a joke like just classic Asshole x Asshole, Enemies to Lovers, Hero x Villain shenanigans. Teehee what if they KISSED... in the COFFIN... and all.

but then i read exactly 1 fic and i was completely convinced entirely of the angst possibilities of these two. the "what if"s that were possible with them. the little Hoffstrahm community i found has been so fucking awesome their ideas are so fucking fun, and I'm having so much fun thinking of art of them and fics of them and ugh i love it here

[priestfrommidnightmass]

new potential love interest reveal for anyone invested in my personal life for some reason. bc some are

okay SO. there’s this other guy i work withhhh of course and i’ve had a bigggg crush on him from the literal first moment i met him because god he’s sooooo fucking cute UGH. (the first time i saw him at the training me and my bestie gave each other a Look and were texting each other under the table like Oh my god did you just fall in love with him too. we have been jokingly fighting over him for MONTHS 😭) however it was like. never that serious it was just a fun thing for my friends and i to joke abt all the time and i haven’t felt the need to talk abt him for a variety of reasons bc 1. i was clearly BUSY with my other situationship hell and 2. me and him literally Never talked. like we talked comically little it was almost a bit that we’d never had a full conversation he would give me his stuff and then leave the second i got there so it wasn’t like we were super close by any means lmfao. and of course 3. he just HAD to have a girlfriend because why wouldn’t he. why WOULDN’T HE. they always do. but me and my friend were like okay soon we have to gauge how serious it is like what’s the deal is it serious is it like a canada girlfriend or what. so i finally brought it up with him this past friday and he talked abt her a bit and showed me pics of them and she was verrryyyy pretty and they’d been together for like two years which whatever that’s fine cool now i know right. NO! that’s not the end.

first of all him and i have already been talking a bit more than usual (maybe a few full conversations at this point!) but even better we were actually teaching together this week which means we’ll get to spend a bunchhhh of time together (also me and situationship are separated which helps too bc. out of sight out of mind) and he was like i’m so excited to finally be able to work closely with you and talk to you and whatever which is fun i was super looking forward to it. but anyway context there had been a wedding at our week on friday and so on monday my other coworker was like God I feel sooo bad for him we keep talking abt the wedding and stuff it’s probably making him feel worse and i was like. hey wdym. wdym. and they were like oh he just went through a really rough breakup and he’s kind of unwell abt it. and listen this person is Not the most reliable source whatsoever so i was hesitant to believe it because he had literally been raving abt her less than three days prior bro like WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!! so i casually bring her up (he’d mentioned that they might’ve been going to an event at our work together in a few weeks and i asked if he was still planning on that) and he was like oh yeah me and girlfriend unfortunately broke up it’s kind of a mess right now. and i was like oh my god i’m so sorry i had no idea i feel bad for bringing it up and he was like no it’s okay it’s fine i should’ve seen it coming. it’s kinda funny i totally switched up the gender roles and *i* was the one begging her for an explanation and to try and stay and fix the relationship and she was the one who ghosted me LOL! (.) BUT THERE’S ONE MORE KEY DETAIL. he’s leaving in LESS THAN A WEEK ACROSS THE COUNTRY because he’s getting his fucking PHD from a nice ass school (i fucking know dude) i always knew this but he’s leaving like much much sooner than expected. but anyway he is like. insanely attractive and charming and smart and it’s like 😭 why are you doing this to me. he’s so tall and he has the nicest hands if anyone i’ve ever seen and he’s sooo sweet to me and he’s always nerding out abt the smart ass shit he’s studying and it’s soooo charming dude you have no idea he’s so fun to talk to and be around. he is insanely out of my league like i think we all have got to be a little in love with him but for some reason the last few days i’ve been deluding myself into thinking there’s any chance something could happen and yknow what? i will absolutely try my luck he’s literally gonna be gone in a week i will totally make a rebound offer bc he keeps asking to hang out soon and shit. the pieces are falling into place let me finally have this universe. LET ME INNN

[wrongcaitlyn]

BRO THIS ISNT TYT RELATED AND I HOPE U DONT MIND MY LITTLE RAMBLE BUT LORD HAVE MERCY I HATE COLLEGE SM 😭🙏

My senior yr of high school starts literally this Monday and I'm currently looking at colleges but also mainly scholarships AND UGH I HATE IT SM 😭😭😭 the college I'm interested is so far away (I live in TX and the college is in Rhode Island) and it might not even have my major (considering pulling a Jason and majoring in Classics rn 😞)

I'm so unprepared for senior yr like wdym I'm graduating???? ANYWAYS so sorry for this 😞😞 I just needed someone to talk to 😭

HAVE A GOOD DAYYYYY (or night!) 🫶🫶🫶🫶

I LITERALLY RELATE TO EVERY SINGLE WORD YOU JUST SAIDDDDD as a rising senior too its literally like. so fucking stressful. mine starts in 10 days so like i have a bit more time but COLLEGES GOD its the literal worst. i still dont have a proper list of colleges that i can apply to and realistically get in,,, they're all reaches and like i know i need safeties but also i'll be devastated no matter what if i dont get into any of the reaches if yk what i mean?? but anyway CHECK IF IT HAS YOUR MAJOR!!! but also classics would be so iconic of u, that actually sounds so fun. i'd love to learn classics if i didn't usually suck at lit and lang and stuffjklsdf

its SO WILD like i still genuinely think im 13 sometimes like what do you mean this is my last year of hs. like. WHAT. its so insane. i feel so unprepared and i totally get what ur going through, all i can hope is that it gets better :// and at least college apps only take up the first half of the year!!! I HOPE THINGS WORK OUT FOR U <33

[sukirichi]

holy shit long rant ahead

"Like-like you're looking for the man who courted you two years ago, the one you truly wanted to marry. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, because you're not going to find him. He never existed in the first place. Whatever it is you're looking for, you won't find it in me," *shit here we go again audio with head in my hands*

"Get out of your head. Just because I did all those things for you, doesn't mean they meant something. Are you forgetting I spent two years of my life trying to win you over, and I never once felt something for you other than tolerance?" When your face fell, triumph washed over his features. "That's right. You remember now, don't you? She's the one I want. Everything I do is for her. Don't forget your place."

Man idk how the princess heard this another time without breaking down in rage cause either this man is going down with me or nothing. Princess where is your self respect? PICK YOURSELF UPPPPPPP THIS MAN LEGIT RUNS ALL OVER YOU AND all we do is cry and yearn for more LIKE WE NEED TO BLOW IR*S AND HIM UP ATP BRING THE BIG GUNS OUT I NEED KUROO AND HIS ROOSTER LOOKING ASS TO POST THAT ARTICLE ASAP

“Your mother's sniffles was the last thing you heard before the sound of a fist connecting with skin resounded in the area. Pulling back, you gasped at what you saw.”

OH THE SATISFACTION I FELT HERE SWEET HEAVENS I wish someone recorded it and we could watch it all over again cause UM LESGO WWE 🗣️🤺 never have I ever loved a father this much cause he SLAYED LEFT NO CRUMBS AT ALLL #curedmyfatherissues

“Want me, you pleaded silently, at least want me. Just a little bit.” pookie 🤠😟😞 cmon we better than this

“Rintaro hadn't mean to. Sure, he was careless and never used protection, but he thought little of it. Iris® cycles were irregular and they never worried if she missed her period. She was always on the pill - all because of him, since Kiyoomi wouldn't have touched her anyway.”

he’s one sick bastard I hope he rots imagine cheating on your wife that you claim to love, doing it in your shared bed AND without protection like babe the article was so deserved by god

and the ending sentence,,,,,just made me so sick because as much as I hate rin and ir*s, I think I hate the queen and the king more because the issues started with them. with the king being an absolute whore and having kids with random ass women LIKE WHERE IS THE VASECTOMY GET HIS TUBES TIED and the queen being a bitch to rin his whole life just to find out my man got issues for nothing??? not defending him at all but to find out that all he knew as his “home” and family (even tho they sucked) were all never really his,,, I can see his heart breaking with the image he had of his family in his mind in the form of drawings made by his inner child, torn in half,,,,,,,oh I am about to be SICK

(and once he finally found his real home aka princess, bro fumbled it up BADDDD like if I was him I would beg for forgiveness + repent + burn the castle with the queen in it <33 (not the princes, tobio pookie you are coming home with me)

bro’s mental health must be in a delicate state, I hate him but I am also worried for him 🥲

- Freud anon is in shambles btw

THE HERE WE GO AGAIN AUDIO AAHJKA SO TRUE he just keeps on going back and forth like decide already!! 😭 do you want us or not!!

the self respect is… there, just buried under very deep layers of still hoping for something good. but also like we can’t really blame dtd!yn for acting this way because rintaro was FINALLY changing and being the husband we wanted him to be! the whole romantic dinner setup, working on the beach house together, and not once even mentioning iris????!!? BRO WAS DEDICATED. but then yeah he really just had to ruin it all again UGH. “all we do is cry and yearn for more.” actually real.

the daddy issues tag im crying 😭 sending all my love and hugs to you anon. BUT YES omg I loveeee our dad so much in DTD because he really said fuck around and find out! dude literally did not care that he was punching a royal because his daughter was more important than their titles! our parents in dtd are soo parents goals I love them <3

nauh bcos rintaro is careless and CRAZYYY. not only did they do it in OUR bed but he did it raw like! I would’ve thrown up ngl. AGHJSKA the vasectomy LMFAO. unfortunately it’s his duty to have many children and he fulfilled that part VERY well, just yknow… they really should’ve specified to him that he had to have kids with his wife and not other women. but yes I agree! all the problems really started because the king and queen hated each other (or more like, the queen hated him for how he treated her, and the king just didn’t care about her at all. he just knew she’d be a good queen and he needed someone smart and capable in leading the country so he can slack off. terrible, terrible man.) YES OMGGG THE DRAWINGS STOPPP I GET SO SAD EVERYTIME I THINK OF RINTARO’S LIFE WAS STOLEN FROM HIM AND ALL HIS ISSUES, EVERYTHING THAT HE FUCKED UP, HAD BEEN FOR NOTHING! and now he’s fumbling so bad too like bro is losing everything that should’ve never been his in the first place ugh.

YES! we protect and love tobio in this house!! and I agree </3 rintaro is going through a lot and it honestly goes two ways – it’s either he does worse things to cope, or he completely shuts down and forgets everything that happened. I’m not sure which one I prefer…

[shirogane-oushirou]

OMG RO HAPPY ANNIVERSARY WAJFEKAHFEKE ;-; take this as an opportunity to gush if you want!! <333

KJNASDKJN THANK YOU NICK!!! technically i messed up yesterday, it's actually tomorrow kjsndfjkn, but i started the gif and art reblogging early bc i've collected so many lmao ;; i'm the only oushirou gif-maker and people WILL see my boy!!!!!

i was going to gush on my anniversary art post, but you've handed me a golden opportunity to do it here. you will regret this. :3c 💞

[cw quick mention of a scene where he's called a slur]

oushirou's been my most beloved, specialest, best boy since my first year in college. i was working my way through the games, and i saw his profile in some artbook scans, and i went... who the FUCK is this guy??? KAJSNKDJN. i hated his design so much; it didn't fit with the rest of the series's designs.

but he immediately won me over as a side character in the pc game, and then i was Doomed the second i booted up to play the PSP port with the added oushirou route (our 13yr anniversary is the day i started posting about playing his route lol). i became The Oushirou Guy™ in the eng fandom from that point on ;; and, of course, now i'm like "i need MORE characters who look like this guy, RIGHT NEOW" kjsnfkjn.

and then a year later -- 12 years ago tomorrow -- the last game released AND, FINALLY, he had his own karedanna cd! a fandom friend sent a rip to myself and my also-oushirou-lover friend, as we were waiting for ours to ship... and he proposes in it. my friend and i both made this day the wedding anniversary in commemoration. i even have some ancient joke art i made on the release day itself LMAO

i love him so much more than i think i let on; ren's my main right now, so that's what people know me for, but oushirou really is The Blueprint for me.

he's so self-driven. he could have lived a cushy, comfortable life following the family trade as a western fortune teller, but he would rather throw that -- and an unealthy relationship with his family -- away so he could follow his dreams of being a photographer and journalist.

and he's loyal. after his life is saved by another student (kazuki), and he realizes kazuki will be held back due to spending too many days recovering from the injuries he incurred, he makes sure he's also held back a year so he can play as kazuki's right-hand-man during the remainder of their time at seigetsu academy.

also like... ngl, him being a scorpio is like 👀 he's a freak like me LMAOOOO we can be like "every zodiac girlie hates our pussiessss" together. 💖

oh. and then of course he's the Ambiguously Queer Character of the series. he's a little fruity w it in general, he loves crossdressing, he's flirty with kazuki, homare, and shiki, he's stated outright that his love for kazuki and tsukiko are equal and he can't decide between them, and his fashion sense is just a little cherry on top ksjdnfk.

ugh. honeybee's just itching to call him a slur i s2g.... wait omg wait they actually had some one-off characters call him a slur in his first route KJASNDKDJNSDFKJN WAIT???????? I JUST REMEMBERED??????? it was one of the first scenes i translated from his route i'm lksnfkns oh my fucking god. and everything since then has been like. doubling down without actually calling him anything. crying omg ksjdnfkjns.

ANYWAY. just a year ago, he was the character everybody associated me with, only beaten out once ren appeared. even my art username is based on him (zerofoursix -> 0-4-6 -> o-shi-ro -> oushirou). he's pulled me through so many things, from shitty college experiences to my health issues... to even being part of the reason why i picked art back up after i took a 5-6yr hiatus due to art school burnout. ;;

i love him so so much, forever and ever, my beloved hentai sentai red*, my adhd king, my most skilled f/o by a LONG shot**, my scorpio twin, my misunderstood weirdo... he's Everything to me 😭💗

* think i've posted about it once before, but it's a running joke that he's a sentai hero who regularly saves tsukiko from creeps in his AW route ;;

** photographer, journalist, multilingual, fashion-forward, western fortune teller, super emotionally intelligent... i could go on. the guy hides SO MUCH of his power level around others.

[moonjxsung]

ALSKDKDJF OKAYYY !!! I’m glad it’s not a bother !!! I overthink sometimes alskdkjf

urgh so I am having A WEEK :( I hope it’s okay I rant a bit … alslkskdj

helurf okay so after midterms last week, I’ve been trying to like relax and give myself time to rest but IVE HAD SO MANY ASSIGNMENTS :((( and I’m so tired and burnt out and stressed cause I need to start studying for finals and ahhhhhh alsksjjdjf :(

okay now for some more fun updates!! i had fun at uni yesterday!! we had a super fun soil science lab we got to go into soil pits on the farm our campus has and analyze soil (ph, diagnostic horizons, colour, structure, texture etc) !! It was a lot of fun I’m gonna miss the class and my prof :( (it was my last lab)

another fun thing is its art market week at my uni so time to drop a ton of money on prints, stickers and crocheted animals !!! :D

AND okay so I made it into a special like abroad research kinda program/course in like that’s usually only available to upper years students but somehow I made it in alskkskdjdj . Anyways, we get to go to South Africa from like May 14-June 9 to do research and stuff in the field!!! and like IM SO EXCITED??? So anyways, the 19 students that also made it in (it’s a highly competitive program to get into) we had our second group meet up plus our prof (who taught my favourite class by far last term) yesterday and it was a lot of fun and we got free dinner which was super super yum and I can’t believe I’m actually going ahhhhh

and then I went to a friends house for dinner (yes, dinner again) which was fun we like catch up at least once a month and yeah

Anyways sorry for the truck load of information about my life weh

HOW IS YOUR LIFE STAR!!! I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOU!! (With whatever ur feeling comfy sharing 💗)

🌱

UGH I always forget how close together exam season is WHYYYY ARE UR FINALS ALREADY RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER….. 💔💔 I believe in you angel manifesting all the best for you frfr you’re smart I know you got this 🫶🫶🫶🫶

AHHHH UR UNI LAB SOUNDED SO FUN I love labs where you just get to go outside and do stuff in nature it’s fr so healing 👼 I took a geology course in college where we got to go to this creek near my school and like test the ph balance of the water and it was so much fun being outside instead of cooped up in the lecture hall fr one of the best labs we ever did. AND the art market this week???? RAHHH HAVE SO MUCH FUN we used to have something similar at my uni and I would drop SO much on stickers not even joking my laptop is covered in them still :’)

ALSO OH MY GOD??? TO THE STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM?????? STOP THAT SOUNDS SO FIXKIFNT FUNNNNN IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU WYAHWJDNRJ CONGRATS ON GETTING IN BB ‼️‼️ I didn’t have to do study abroad when I was in college bc covid hit but I can’t wait to hear all about yours and live vicariously thru ur updates AHHHH and it’s coming up so soon !! WOWOWOWOW HAVE THE BEST TIME ILY ILY THATS SO FUN

My day was honestly vvvvv boring but it was productive! I had work and then I had a shit ton of laundry to do but I was tired as fuck and I have cramps bc my period started today so I got coffee first to wake me up and then after cleaning the apartment I caught up on Ateez vlogs and now I’m simultaneously writing and watching Zelda gameplay 👼 I think my emotions are like ten times worse rn because of my period so I’m just taking it easy but I have a huge party to go to this weekend and a lot of my friends are gonna be there so I need to get my shit together and stop being sad bc I don’t want to bring the mood down ☹️ why do I always have a party in the same week I feel like shit LOL the last time I had one my situationship and I got into a huge fight and my sister had to be checking on me like every 5 minutes bc I was borderline crying the whole night it was so embarrassing 😭 (I am so tired of crying over this same girl oh my god)

ANYWAYS I LOVE U ANGEL IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND I CANT WAIT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT UR STUDY ABROAD TRIP RAHHH THATS SO EXCITING CONGRATS AGAIN ILY ILY 🩷💖💞💘💕💓👼

[taegularities]

OMG OMG RID! 😭😭 I finally read the last chapter and girl you got me crying so hard for them, I can’t believe I FELT EVERYTHING AT ONCE, I felt how desperate was jk to find oc the anxiety and after that the love you OMG I CANT TAKE IT, you destroyed me like how can I move on with my life after reading this one 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I’m so excited to continue this amazing story I don’t think I can ever get enough of this jk I need him in my life honestly that devotion ugh, what a fucking rollercoaster of emotions in a good way 😩

Anyways I just wanted to wish you a very very nice and blessed year, 2024 baby girl 🎊 and also wanted to ask you if you have like pictures for inspiration? Like Pinterest tab or something that you see on internet and thought of cmi? And also wanted to ask you if you have in mind like oc as a persona, like maybe this kind of hair or that kind of aesthetic? I hope you can catch me bc my English rn I think sucks 😫

AHH EVERYTHING AT ONCE IS GREAT BC SAME!!! moving on from this one's tough, but i hope you like what's to come just as much, if not more!! 🥺 tysm for reading, and here's to more… am super excited <333

happy new year to you as well, love!! ✨ as for cmi inspiration – honestly, i rely on small things around me a lot, like, yt reels or rl convos and emotions. i rarely use pictures, though. i also do not have a certain oc in mind, like that's very reader-dependent… so there's no hair type/colour, eye and skin colour, body type etc! but hmmm, her aesthetic–

oc wears warm colours a lot, especially in the winter. she's more colourful in the summer and likes going for comfy pastel/floral clothing – like dresses but prefers shorts. as a manager of a fashion brand, she's courageous with her choices, but likes to be casual most of the time. joggers and buns at home, loves cotton and isn't super fond of silk; then, fancy suits and slacks and skirts at work. adores sweaters and denim jackets. also likes rose gold jewellery! and pretty hair clutchers!! natural make up <3 coffee coloured lipstick <3

(see bits of oc in cmi11.5 but also in general below!!)

and her persona – she's rather soft and kind but can be fierce, too, so her voice is gentle but confident? and she smiles a lot. (knows how to write, so good with words and v inspiring, too). i should definitely talk about her style and stuff more, but i think cmi12/13 are gonna give me lots of chances to do so 💕

[alwastakenofc]

ITS TIMEEEEE !….

i finally got my student loans figured out (aside from this stupid ass $55 late fee apparently put on my account after they already started the transfer of the remaining loans to my bank…???????? idfk, i’m stressed abt that LOL but at least it’s not Thousands in the hole like it was before, it’s just $55 i need to pay…. PLS GIMMIE MY LOAN REFUND SO I CAN PAY THAT RLY QUICK AND BE DONE WITH THIS ALL FOR THE SEMESTER, EDUCATION GODS!!!) and i’m all enrolled!! AND !!! i have a professor from a couple years ago that was SO understanding and helpful when i was failing outta his and another professor’s class (bc my mom’s cancer was rly kicking in and i was her full time caregiver and doing Everything around the house) and im taking his class again!! im rly surprised bc i was Definitely in bad financial standing in 2022 when i failed out, but for some reason i can still get my financial aid and they couldn’t find any record of me being in bad financial standing??? and im just like, OKAY COOL WHATEVER!! IM NOT QUESTIONING IT BC I NEED ALL THE FINANCIAL AID I CAN GET FOR THESE LAST 2 SEMESTERS!!

( ・∇・)

so !!! anyways, i saw some video abt some girly vaping for 7 years and getting some mf holes in her lungs and that scares me as someone with mf asthma already LOL so i rly do wanna/need to quit vaping, but idk i feel like i might stick to it for this semester LMAO then after this semester i’ll be Done and will Quit during my japanese language semester bc i wanna be FULLY FOCUSED.

i also wanna quit wax/dabs again, i went on a lil bender of smoking weed for like 2 1/2 weeks Straight and built my tolerance right back up so that’s annoying. i want to be Sober during my classes/the weekdays and save smoking for the weekends. i will say i am glad i have been keeping drinking to the weekends as well but mannnnn my roomie and i had a massive drinking and gaming sesh like a week and a half ago and im tryna not drink like that again LMAO, i drank a little a couple days ago for the weekend but def not as much as when we drank together a week and a half ago LOL.

aaaaaannnnnyways yea i’m stressed abt going back to college and ESPECIALLY for my japanese classes LOL i rly gotta like relearn EVERYTHING and hope for the best within…. 4 months? it shouldn’t be TOOOOOOO bad, it’s mainly just the semester of japanese that i fucked up in 2022 that i gotta rly practice. just the whole of the genki 2 book i rly should commit myself to learn tbh. yea that’s prolly a good goal LOL. get them *words and kanji specifically* memorized; listening and speaking is easier for me i guess, it’s lit just remembering how to write and what is what when writing that is hard!!! 😭😭😭 ugh!!!! if anyone has any reccs for apps or books to help practice 2nd year japanese for university pls lmk, i got some apps (screenshots below) and like i said, the genki books, that i use rn!!

alrighty well, next up LMAO. i can’t mf WAAAIT to graduate bc i mf WANT TO GET A NICE JOB AND MOVE OUT ON MY OWN WITH MY KITTIES SO MF BADDDDDD ‼️😥🙂‍↕️ like im so nervous thinking abt it but then i also get so excited !!! and imma try to find smth to transfer to in japan maybe after working in a govt position for a couple years; i would wanna see if i could choose to work in a specific prefecture with my experience as a TESOL teacher (esp if i keep doing my online TESOL job like MWF or smth? keep building the experience for that while also building experience in a professional setting??? oooohhhhhhhhh?!?!?!) or if i could even work with a japanese or american business that’s stationed in a big city in japan as a correspondent???? idk that could be fun LOL but i dont have Business experience…. unless its some educational business, that could be interesting!?!?!?!? idk the possibilities are endlessssssss ugh. esp if after a couple years i can maybe take my remaining 2-3 classes i needed for my japanese minor and get the certificate for that eventually …???? OR i just go back to college and get a separate bachelor’s by majoring in japanese only???? LOL idk maybe japanese business idk that would be fun!!!! ok i have a lot of things to think abt now that ive started considering LMAO.

good stuff, okay! i’m done heheh, have a good one all 😋 see ya when the semester starts bc i’ll be rly stressed out i’m sure 😅

PS don’t mind duo laying there in the background of the screenshots, i haven’t rly used duo in a hot minute so the green bird is angy at me 🤓

[thegeminisage]

major spoilers

working my way towards the forgotten temple and found a well that went all the way to the depths...girl help idw to do this again so soon 😭

unfortunately i feel compelled

at least there's a lightroot right off the bat. thank god

amazing how you can see across half the map btw. like theres shit lit up literally that far away from me but i can see it from here

gloom chest??

GLOOM MOLDUGA HELLOOOOO

no ugh wait its just that water temple boss nooooo

FINALLY got it. that took for fucking EVERRR

there better be something real fuckin good in this chest.

YOOOOO a huge crystalized charge........worth 100, so another energy well basically. i wanted armor but ill take it lol

got pulverized by a monster camp. this is why i never engage them lol i have less than half my hearts remaining

i'm right under the forgotten temple!! pleeeease let there be something cool here.........

"cliff bargainer statue" i don't fucking see it

oh. that can't be it. that's so...big

girl help how do i get it to bargain?? it's creepy also

i climed it to the top and i started getting mist like in the lost woods...i'm on top of a giant statue on top of a huge mountain, am i too close to the "ceiling"? i wonder what happens when you get too high? i'm not patient enough to find out for myself but i eagerly await the youtube videos in my future

oh!!! you can buy one of a kind items from the statues now...if i broke biggoron's sword or for some reason sold oot link's tunic, i could purchase another. thank goodness lol

OH I WENT ON TOP OF HIS HEAD AND I DID FIND THE CEILING.........

too bad i can't ascend thru it lol

since i was so high up, i easily scored another lightroot that would have been hugely difficult to get otherwise

im fast traveling back to the forgotten temple since thats where i was going anyway. theres only so much of the depths a girl can take lol

god i'm so low on food i need to stop and cook and also to unlock more great fairies augh

i read somewhere the game gets harder w every temple, and here i am still wearing level 2 armor...

wait...this room behind the toppled goddess statue...THIS IS SONIA'S GRAVE HOLY SHIT

I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE IT THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE...i hadn't seen it in cutscenes yet...man, 10k years later...that's fucking insane

it's also weird that there are supposedly 12 dragon tears and only 11 on this map...i bet the last one is hidden somehow and it's gonna fuck me up

oh!!! i can see a great fairy from here...i probably can't help her without doing the quest though :/

well, at least i can go find the stable/shrine and make a fast travel point lol

i see a dragon that i THOUGHT was naydra...but it's too...gold?? i zoomed in on it and that's definitely not naydra

Is That Zelda.

CAMERA SAYS LIGHT DRAGON IS THAT ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIRL COME BACK I AM DOWN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't get to her...whaatatata the ffucckckc

oh my GODDDD GIRL COME BACK.........................

even if i fast traveled somewhere high enough that i could reach her...wouldn't she despawn...?

worth a shot i guess

SHES STILL HERE AND MY MASTER SWORD QUEST MARKER IS THERE

GIRL I AM COMING TO FIND YOU

actually lmao i dont have enough stamina potions for this sob

wait wait she's headed towards the forest so maybe if i come AT her instead of chasing her.......

YES YES YES I STILL SEE HER GIRL I AM COMING TO FIND YOU

i l

i landed on her. oh my god

i'm choked up. girl WAKE UP.......

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i tried to grab it which obviously hurt her!!! and i have to! have! enough stamina!!!!!!!

WHAT IF I NEVER FIND HER AGAIN

i hate to leave her like this. i'm distraught!!!!!!!!!!

[racingliners]

F1 Re-watch 2022: Round 6 - Spain

To quote Manuel from Fawlty Towers: I know nothing

The only thing I remember from this race is the gifs of Seb and Lewis sharing an umbrella during the national anthem.

So yeah, this could be... fun???

I did not know Lewis and Schumi were the joint most successful winners in Spain. That is a fun fact (Just goat things)

Also Charles is on pole, so I fear I know how this race is ending.

Seb in 16th 😭 (To repeat a previous point, the AMR22 was beautiful, but boy she was a tractor)

Livery watch: Alpine preeeeeeeeetty (blue and pink livery my utter beloved)

Lewis starting on the mediums??????

Fernando taking his sweet, sweet time getting to the grid

[Start/Lap 1]: Another clear turn 1, I’m genuinely shocked

oop didn’t last long Lewis and Kev went into each other

Seb up into 13th though!!!

[Lap 5]: Damn Ocon got past Dan like he was slicing through butter

[Lap 6]: and again on Mick

ahhhhhh Seb on Fernando violence

THAT’S MY BOY!!!

(Insert quote about how Seb and Fernando have always raced each other)

Ugh Fernando got back past it was fun while it lasted

[Lap 7]: Oop Sainz in the gravel

[Lap 9]: Verstappen in the gravel????

Not the gust of wind excuse. *2015 Testing flashbacks*

[Lap 10]: Comms are already talking about team orders. 😬

oof Dan dropping down the top 10 like a stone 😶

[Lap 12]: Russell’s car is overheating???

[Lap 13]: And Verstappen’s DRS isn’t working. 

F1 cars don’t like heat too much do they?

[Lap 14]: Given how the second half of the season went I simply do not trust the face that Leclerc is leading by 14 seconds. I will not be lulled into a false sense of security by Ferrari I know better. I just about survived Seb’s years there 😭

Unrelated: where is my midfield spice???

Livery watch: Alfa Romeo preeeeetty

[Lap 15]: SEB IN P5 STOP THE RACE

(shhh I know he hasn’t stopped yet)

“DRS = Doesn’t Really Stay” Brundle I will give you that one right bc that was funny

This race is playing into Ferrari’s hands and I still don’t trust it

aeuvheugh we’re not in 2002 Crofty

(which reminds me I need to watch some old Schumi races when I have the time)

[Lap 20]: “So Perez is on a one stop” “Blimey!” fguehguehsg

Tell me George is British without telling me he’s British

Stop interrupting Ted, let him speak!!!

[Lap 22]: Yay Seb finally pits... and drops from 8th to 17th 😭

[Lap 24]: Russell on Verstappen violence, some spice at last

Who would win? A multiple F1 race winner or one (1) rear wing flap?

Livery watch: Glossy silver Merc preeeetty

[Lap 26]: uerhaguiehgueh Perez straight up asking for Verstappen to be moved out the way. I would have spat out my tea had I been taking a drink.

“Why won’t you let me by?” Honestly, valid question.

(I’m still laughing)

[Lap 27]: Ah. There it is. The sight and sound of Ferrari betrayal. Number 16 Ferrari goes poof.

Rule 1 of watching F1: Never, ever trust Ferrari

Ted is surprised. I am not.

Ouch, that on-board of the car dying is brutal though.

ANYWAY Seb up into P13 let’s get it

aaaand Lewis got past him 😔 (It’s fine it’s Lewis I’ll allow it)

[Lap 31]: Oop Perez’s turn to get past a car like cutting through butter

(something something the W13 was not a sexy car)

VAL’S IN THIRD?????

I mean it didn’t last very long but DAMN

[Lap 33]: SEB INTO THE TOP 10!!!! STOP THE RACE

I take it it’s bc others pitted, but anyway STOP THE RACE

I feel like this race sums up the 2022 Season. Ferrari start strong, then they fuck up. Red Bull pick up the pieces.

[Lap 39]: BOTTAS IS IN 4TH???? FOURTH?????

I mean damn Val go off but FOURTH?!

Seb gets passed by Lando for 9th

Ferrari engineers looking at their remaining engines like:

PASTOR MALDONADO?!?!

[Lap 43]: aaaaand we’re back with Seb vs Fernando

nvm Seb pitted

Livery watch: metallic green AM preeeetty

continued Seb footage... feels good feels organic

[Lap 47]: Bono sighting!!!

...RBR team orders.

If I speak 😶

(They are 1.7 seconds apart my dudes)

What do you mean this race was six years after 2016???

Christ has it been that long??? The season aged me more than I’d care to admit

[Lap 50]: Bottas is still in P4. Porridge power.

[Lap 57]: Mick: Can I get points??? F1: NO

It’s fine he scores points with Seb in Silverstone 🥺😭

[Lap 58]: Three car fight for 4th? 👀

oh nvm that lasted two corners

Crofty shut up about Seb and Mick crashing in Miami I don’t want to hear about it

[Lap 60]: Oh that was a nice pass from Lewis on Sainz

I would like an emotional support Bono, he sounded so proud 😭

[Lap 64]: Seb in P11. 15 secs behind P10. 😭

DNF risk on the Mercs???? wat

OH cooling issues. shit.

cut to Displeased Toto™️.

[Lap 66/Finish]: A water leak??? a water leak?????

Anyway Verstappen won quelle surprise

Are the Mercs gonna finish though???

They lived!! That was very wild though.

Hmm. It was fine I guess?? Much more interesting than Miami, but the bar was very low. I missed my spicy midfield drama. Russell v Verstappen was fun to watch, and seeing Lewis come through the field as Lewis does was cool. Overall 6 front wings out of 10. Monaco next!

[sugarcherriess]

Life is ugh and I'm stuck in the ughness thats where I am 😭

🍞 WRITE THE FIC I AM DROOLING

Anyway here's a cute little birthday present to make up for my disappearance from your fave hyunjae, the lovely yandere hyunjae:

Hyunjae has been weird all week. And that's saying a lot since he's always weird.

Usually he doesn't need any excuse to spoil you. He will use any and every excuse to be an over the top whipped fool. Pancake day? Okay here you go, stacks and stack of pancakes, the syrup has gold leaf in it and its served on an antique silver tray with a vase full of flowers. The crickets on and your teams playing? Oh well then he's gotta dress you up in the teams jersey and cook for you so you can watch and eat together and Oh he's got a present prepared that he will either give you in celebration of their win or if you're sad they lost.

But it's your birthday. Or the week leading up to it rather and he hasn't mentioned it at all. He hasn't even started his prebirthday celebrations for you like he did last year. Its so weird and you definitely don't want to be the one to bring it up.

And now, the eve of your birthday. The very very eve because you were in the library till gone dark working on your paper. You asked hyunjae to pick you up but you didn't even hear from him and it only took you ten minutes of radio silence to get frustrated before you left the library and with annoyance decided you'd just walk home alone.

Honestly before you met hyunjae you were completely independent anyway. So going everywhere alone was a norm. Emphasis on was because as much as you hate to admit it hyunjar has conditioned your poor little brain to think that without him danger is imminent. That you do need your big strong hyunjae by your side to protect you.

Then you remembered you're annoyed and he still hasn't texted back and think fuck that bitch.

Walking down a lone road, it's quiet, but not eerily so. The stars are out and the moon is high and you feel content. It actually feels nice to be alone like this.

But stupidly you have let your guard down. Forgotten everything that hyunjaes taught you because in seconds you can't even register you're harshly grabbed from behind a cloth closing over your mouth and your legs kick back your whole body jolting to shake of the attacker, but it's not use. Soon your body grows weak. Drowsy and pliant under the cloth pressing on your mouth. And the last thing you hear is "happy birthday baby." - 🥛

Im??????????????? Excuse me??????????????

I was going to sympathise with you but then i made the mistake of reading the entire thing and????????????

I dont wven know what to fucking say? What the hell has he planned? What is he going to do???? Stop leaving me without answers this is so unfair 😟😟😟😟😟

[kuiinncedes]

do i . reach out to a high school friend who i haven't talked to since the end of last semester bc i haven't reached out but she hasn't reached out eitherrrr &lt;3

[pattytacuri]

5/14/22

I'm beginning to think I've had a more open and honest relationship with Tumblr than any men in my life. 😭🤣 maybe I'd rather be vulnerable and raw with a bunch of strangers . This is the first time I've written anything all day. Idk what possessed me to but as soon as I got home, I decided to try on almost 75 percent of my closet to see what fits and doesn't fit. If anyone knows me and my closet...they know I own like a million and one outfits . 😭🤣 fucking bpd impulsivity with spending. Clothes have a strange way of telling a story...for example, I still had the pants I interviewed with for my current job ( size 12-not keeping , too big) , the blue dress I got married in ( keeping it for, cute and I might burn it one day) , the black floral dress I went to my friend's 6 year old son's funeral too in late 2015 😭 ( keeping-still fits and I couldn't bear to part with it) , the teal romper I went into a terrible BPD episode with and dissociated in after a fight with my ex in the summer (idk -haven't tried it on-dont know what I'm doing with it yet) , the super short and tight black dress I got drunk in and made a tik tok in with my BFF this summer( keeper- too sexy to give away) , or the blue sweater I first drove independently in October also crashed in November in (its cute so keeper!) , etc, etc.

Anyways, I started to get tired and feel off, and then I realized..mercury is still in retrograde and it's been 10 months from my breakup and ugh...kinda cringy but I had to listen to "Clean" by T Swift cause of lyrics 🙃 and I whined for 30 minutes to my best friend about how haha..grief about it is here. Ugh. My best friend is beyond understanding, I admitted to her a truth out loud about it I hadn't been able to get out and it was good. Honestly, at this point, I'm at this really good place with everything about it. My bpd heart and soul have finally caught up with my logical side of it all. My logical side understand and accepts hard things and acts accordingly but it's hard to get my untamed bpd heart and soul to be on the same page with it. My logical side is 41 and so responsible and practical but idk that bpd soul and heart are irrational. In therapy my logical side is reasonable mind and my bpd side is emotional mind and to get both on them on the same side is wise mind which means tada ...I now have emotional regulation! Ugh...I'm in a dbt group therapy group and all of are there cause we all suck in one way or another with regulating our emotions. Our therapist keeps saying we all probably grew up in emotionally invalidating households and he's not wrong. Where was I going with this before my whole therapy tangent. Oh yes, I'm in my most radical acceptance and wise mind part of the grief. The anger about it has dissipated, I wish all the best for him, etc , etc. There are just these small droplets of grief that show up but at least it's not the hurricane or tornado that lasted for days or weeks.

Tomorrow I start swimming lessons with a private instructor and I hope I do well. I almost drowned at 11 thanks to my dad's drunk negligence so I hope my instructor is patient and understanding. If this works out, I'm gonna try some kind of dancing lessons cause why not. I have no rhythm but if I learned to drive again, anything is possible. I also need to lose 6 lbs. 😭 its sad that I like to eat cake and tacos and can't see myself going back to just salad. 🤣😭

[annyaforger]

I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation!!

Omg the switch version of Genshin is taking so long. It's as I'd expect though considering Nintendo doesn't always cooperate the best when it comes to releasing non Nintendo games on their platform >.>

I'm also on the American server! Omg kaeya is my favorite of the starter 4*s. I love him sm and he is so useful. My favorite 4* characters to use are Thoma and Bennett and my favorite 5*s I currently have are Childe and Kazuha. I'm going for Itto today asdffgbsg pls come home dummy

I've been thinking about getting into Tokyo revengers a lot of moots that have similar taste as me are very into that series 👀

Hmm anyway I should ask a question shouldn't I? What's your favorite season?

-animanga secret santa

ugh my angel sugar plum. sorry i’ve taken years to reply. i had actually seen this when you sent it and i had answered but my computer lost connection and i left the page for a second and it refreshed on me when i came back to it. i was so upset i was like i’ll reply later and then i forgot and got busy. with going back to work etc.

i am sorry!!

but here goes my reply attempt number two! ✌🏼

thank you! i really needed that vacation im not gonna lie lmao i hate my job but i need the money 😭

god damn nintendo lmao that’s why i sometimes regret not having bought like an xbox or play station lmfao maybe i’ll get one in the future. i mean i barely play games as it is so *shrug emoji* but still i do hope they release it soon if it is still in the works cause as much as i don’t mind playing on my tablet i would enjoy it more if i could play on an actual console type thing heh.

(the way im at work rn typing this up on like the notes app of my phone lmao)

Y A Y american server buds!! well, as soon as you reveal yourself to me we can add each other on there. fair warning i’ve only just started playing and my characters aren’t too leveled up and i suck as well lmao. i’ve never actually played with anyone?? idk how that works i am: shy. lmao.

my only other friend is on the europe server so we can’t play together 😭

i fucking love kaeya pls he hasn’tleft my party SINCE i got him. the other day i did get my newest fave, keqing!! i am absolutely obsessed with her pls.

how do i get him like how can i get him? i want him so bad (itto) omg i hope by now you’ve gotten him or are close to it?

TOKYO REVENGERS! yes i think you should definitely get into it if it’s something you think you might enjoy especially since a lot of your moots are already into it and you say y’all have similar tastes!!! it’s definitely a good watch. keeps you on your toes. i definitely cried for the last seven episodes lmao

as for my favorite season, i love winter. fall comes second but down here in texas with the global warming and shit it’s always like humid and gross and shit we only have like a few nice fall-ish days. so definitely winter lol.

wby?!!

what are your xmas and nys plans???