#late night rants with kennedy if you see this hi

[monstrsball]

i think people forget that suga is like... kind. he's a kind person. if your suga isn't kind it's not suga.

[c-e-d-dreamer]

What did you mean by the draft being egregious in the Deal? Sorry if that's weird to ask. I loved all those books and I'm curious now

Get in, Anon, we're ranting about the NHL Draft inaccuracies in the Deal 😉

So, Garrett Graham is a good hockey player, right? He's captain of an NCAA Division 1 team. Not only that, he's led said team to a Frozen Four championship twice! He's the goal scoring star of the team. Also, as we learn from the like epilogue part, he makes the opening night roster right away without playing in the farm system. And on top of that, he has a legacy name. Everyone knows the Graham name from his father.

And you expect me to believe this man is undrafted? In what fucking world?

I just don't think Elle Kennedy understood how the NHL draft works. I think she assumed it was similar to the NFL draft where you go play college ball and then get drafted. But that's not what happens with the NHL. You get drafted at 18. Aka you go into college having already been drafted.

And you can see in the next book in the series the way she sort of has to walk this error back and suddenly it's Logan and Garrett decided not to enter the draft. It was a choice blah blah. Which also makes no sense but I guess at least it makes slightly more sense than supposedly being undrafted.

What should have happened is they were both drafted. Garrett probably a late first round or even a second round pick. Logan a later pick. And then that team has their rights for the whole series (that basically just means the team has dibs) and then after they graduate, bam, sign those contracts.

ALSO! Garrett Graham is such a good hockey player and yet he didn't play for Team USA? There is no mention of him playing in World Juniors when he was eligible which is even weirder because he's undrafted! Like he wants to play in the NHL, that's his dream, but he didn't participate in the biggest showcase??? Make it make sense

[fvrxdrm]

.•*Friends to Lovers on Holidays with Leon Kennedy*•.

Happy Single Asses’ Day!!!

Pairing: Modern!Leon x F!Reader

Warning(s): NSFW

*****

“Cheers to us single fuckers!”

The clinking of wine glasses subtly intertwined with the voices of the actors in a horribly-done “horror” movie that was running on the television as you and Leon briefly joined them together before letting the tang of sweet, bitter, and sour wine hit your tongues. And when they did, you moaned in satisfaction.

“Not bad.”

“It better not be. This shit costed, like, $100.”

Leon grabbed the wine bottle in front of him and went on to refilling yours and his glasses respectively.

“My wallet’s fucking crying,” he continued.

“Hey, don’t bullshit me now. Jack Daniel’s costs $50.00 and I don’t hear you complaining. And from what I remember you buy five of ‘em,” you retorted back hitherto taking a small sip of your drink.

“For your information I only buy one bottle now. Had the president not let us quit going on missions your statement would’ve been correct.”

It was true. Ever since the New York incident, bioterrorism had gone down and those rare times where an occurrence would go down somewhere in a small region on earth the BSAA would be sent, sometimes even bringing one of the newer DSO agents to help them with the cases. And so, with the conclusion that the count was dying at a leisure pace, the government decided there was no need for their veteran agents to be sent on missions unless they were lethal and needed someone who was as exceedingly experienced as you on the field and sanctioned both you and Leon to only do office work until further notice.

“I mean, yeah, true… Pass me the bowl?” With eyes still glued to the T.V., Leon reached out to grab ahold of the large bowl of popcorn and blindly looked for your hand until he finally felt the bottom of the bowl touch a surface, letting it go once he felt the weight shift lighter.

  “This is bullshit. Who the fuck just crawls on the ground after tripping while the killer is literally right behind them? Like, fucking 5 inches away from them! I would’ve stood up and ran.”

The movie had been going for about half an hour now and Leon couldn’t be more amused at how you reacted at every scene where the characters’ brains seemingly flew out of their heads. He wasn’t paying attention to the film. He’d watch this way, way, way, way back anyway and he knew how stupid it was so he just entertained himself by listening to your rants and laughing (also getting smacked every now and then).

“Oh my god! Why the fuck does she keep screaming?”

“You know what, I wouldn’t care if he gets killed.”

“Of course, the phone just had to be dead.”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now!? Why the fuck are you making out while a psycho is literally out there to sheesh kebab you?”

“Oh my god, I just lost my brain cells.” And so on and so forth…

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Leon muttered with a smirk, popping a chip in his mouth as he turned his gaze towards the movie.

“Well, I didn’t know it was that bad. I thought it was one of those movies that are so bad they’re good,” you defended as you swigged the rest of the wine that filled a portion of your glass. Your friend just snickered in response, stretching his arms and legs and smiled in fulfilment once he heard the crack of aging bones and staring narrow-eyed at the credit screen in front of him.

Words became trapped inside your heads. You didn’t know what to do from here. The only thing you planned was watching a movie for Valentine’s day – or Single Asses’ day as you call it – and fight shy of anything revolving around romance whether it be some sort of song or movie or something.

You both had been unlucky when it came to romance and intimacy. The closest you had to love were some one-night stands with random strangers and even that was far away from said emotion. Your jobs were complicated and when you both had started in the agency years after the Raccoon City incident, it already began taking a toll on your heads and continued to up until the incident in New York. And so, relationships were the last thing you worried about. Though, that didn’t mean your hearts wouldn’t race every once and a while. Truth be told you caught feelings halfway through your career, both of you. You sometimes entertained the idea of you and your best friend being together while he had conflict between you and Ada. Both of you were people he couldn’t let go of but he felt like one was superior to the other and his brain scrambled around for a bit until the day he almost lost you. It was the day disease almost took over the world: Tall Oaks and China. That was the day he realized just how much you meant to him.

“So, um… I should go now. I’ll see you around.” Leon stood up from the couch and was about to head out your apartment door until he felt something warm enclose around his wrist. He turned around to find your pretty face looking sheepish and pleading – pink creeping from your neck to the tip of your ears.

“I-it’s already late and I… I don’t think you’re in the right condition to drive. You can stay here if you want.” The blush on your face darkened even more and your eyes suddenly found interest on your tiled floor, your grip around Leon loosening. Seeing as how abashed you looked right now, he playfully simpered and decided hey, I teasing is fun!😀

“You don’t think I can drive myself home while drunk? Haven’t you seen me in action back in New York?” He spoke.

All enervation and intoxication suddenly voided out of your body; eyes bulging out of their sockets as his statement caught you unwary for a second. Incoherent words stumbled out of your mouth and none were piecing together to form an acceptable response.

“I’m just playing. I get your intentions. You seriously need to chill the fuck out,” Leon finally said after a few enough rambles were pitched into the room ceaselessly.

Your shoulders sagged and the tension that rapidly built up in you were unfettered in a matter of seconds. “Jesus,” you murmured. “You know how I get when I’m drunk.” Leon continued in his bursts of loud laughter and it only made you sink into your seat even more.

“I’m sorry… You’re just so freaking cute!”

Whoops… Didn’t mean for that to come out…

Leon’s fit of hysterics died down in a trice, feeling like a twelve-year-old whose embarrassment was so immense after getting rejected and being made fun of in front of the whole school that he’d rather melt in a puddle where he can be forgotten.

“I-I’m sorry. That just…flew out of nowhere. I- “

“It’s fine. At least I’m not the only tomato here, right? And um… Thanks… For the compliment,” you said, face burning another 100°C.

“Well, uh,” Leon scratched the nape of his neck and shoved his free hand in his pockets where each of his fingers twiddled with one another, “wanna chat?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to be bed anytime soon, unless you’re really tired.”

“No, I’d love for you to accompany me tonight,” he replied.

“Okay, come back here you himbo.” You patted the empty space on the couch Leon previously sat on and smiled at him once he made himself comfortable with his feet resting on your coffee table and hands finding contentment in providing itself as a pillow for his head. “So, how’s life?”

  “Okay, okay…fine I’ll…haha…do it.”

A few minutes had passed, talking being the only thing you’d done up until Leon tackled and attacked you with tickles on your sides.

“You, Leon Scott Kennedy,” a giggle fell past your lips, “are…”

“Are?”

“…a fucking…idiot!” Leon fell in a daze at your words and while he was at it you took advantage of his vulnerability and shoved him down to the floor with you collapsing on top of him. Only when he felt the softness of your carpet and the hardness of your floor did he bring himself out of his stupor.

“You sneaky little shit-“ He was about to place both of his hands on your waist and flip you two over when his wrists were suddenly grabbed and pinned above his head not even a second after he blinked.

“Uh uh, not so fast. You really think you could get away with this, don’t you?” A smug grin pulled the corners of your lips. Leon sighed.

“Fine, you win.”

Silence had taken over the room once more, the muffled chirping of crickets outside the closed windows the only sound filling in the missing gaps. Though the light that gave life to your apartment was dim, the distance between your faces was enough for Leon to take in every detail that defined the complexion of your face: from the lines that explicated the years and hardship you had been through, to the little dimples beside your lips that he was sure was as deep as the Pacific Ocean. From the constellation of cute freckles that flecked your cheeks and the bridge of your nose, to the pink hue that gave light to them. You were beautiful and there was no doubt it was one of the many things he admired about you. And there was also no doubt that he wasn’t afraid to voice it out while he laid flushed beneath you.

“You’re cute. You know that, right?”

“Mhm, I’m gonna be hot when I’m sixty.” You giggled at your own joke but when you saw just how awestricken your friend was by you, your smile immediately dropped and you were left flustered on top of him in diffidence and nervousness. And because of your oblivion, your hold on his wrists slackened and he took no time flipping the two of you over and switching up the roles.

“I knew you would fall for that, princess,” Leon remarked and before you could even let out a single letter, he already had his lips smashed onto yours.

A soft gasp fell from your lips but it didn’t take long for you to succumb to the feeling of his supple and slightly chapped lips.

In that kiss was the sweetness of passion, a million loving thoughts condensed into a moment, and in that moment, you were in your pure and vulnerable selves.

It was slow and subtle at first, lips delicately lingering against each other for a moment of lip-lock until a relentless appetency set fire in your bodies. It became sloppy and messy and the abiding flavor that ghosted on your tongues left you wanting more and more of what you could give.

Hands set sail on plump skin and it wasn’t long until pieces of clothing slowly began replacing the space on your carpet where you once laid, Leon having carried you to sit you down on your couch.

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with this? I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want,” Leon whispered against your kiss-swollen lips, the ghost of his breath sending a delicious chill down your spine.

“I want to… Please?” And that did it for him.

He let out low growl from the depths of his throat before battering your neck with tickling kisses and bites were marks were left as graves created by the inner animal that was housed inside of his body. The brush of his skin against yours arised the short hairs that adorned your own and it didn’t help that the evening cold would tease past you in a speed that sent you shivering to your toes.

“Leon, please.”

“Please what, babe?” Leon kissed along your thighs while he looked at you through the shortness of his lashes.

“I need you, please.”

“In a minute, babe. I fucking need to taste you,” he mumbled, voice raspy with lust and desire.

You anticipated with what was bound to happen next with closed eyes and lip restrained in between teeth. However, no matter how much you prepared yourself for the feeling of his tongue touching your folds, your back still arched at the feeling and a soft moan sounded from an open mouth, hands finding home on Leon’s disheveled hair.

“Oh, fuck!”

“That’s it, baby. Moan for me, moan my name.” That you did. You let a string of curses unknowingly escape your lips along with his name slipping in between them as he lapped your sex with a type of hunger even he couldn’t describe for the life of him. He simply couldn’t get enough of your taste; getting you off once, twice, thrice, until you couldn’t take it anymore and pulled him by his hair before having a sample taste of your own through his lips. And while he was busy savoring your mouth once more, you pushed him on the floor again and straddled his hips impatiently where you felt the twitch of his cock touch your pussy.

“Please, Leon. I want you. I want you so bad. I wanna feel your cock inside me, now.”

“It’s all yours, sweetheart. It’s all yours.”

Permission granted.

Your hand grasped the base of his cock and stroked it a few times before lining the tip up to your entrance, pushing it down once you were sure enough that his dick would just slide in you, and you both moaned at the stretch and the tightness that surrounded him.

“Fuck, babe, you’re so tight,” Leon grunted.

You let yourself give in to his astonishing size before you slowly began bouncing up and down his length, your eyelids falling close to the feeling of his dick hitting just the right spots with neither of you trying. You moved in sync together, his hips propelling into yours and gradually speeding up as indulgence replaced the throbbing of your walls at their painful expansion.

“Fuck, Leon, shit.”

This was good, painfully good, but somehow it still wasn’t enough for Leon so he decided to take control again and turned you to your back where he can finally satisfy both you and him much to your contentment. He pounded into you with so much force and the tips of his fingers dug into your skin that you were sure you were going to be sore the next day at work and bruises were going to be a part of your attire for a while. Oh, well, I’m just going to call in sick tomorrow.

“You’re taking my co – ngh – ck so good, baby girl. So – ngh – good.”

Mewls left your mouth at the sound of his broken words and a familiar tight warmth filled your stomach, your moans getting louder and louder each time Leon gave a powerful blow.

“Leon, please, please, please, I’m so close – shit!”

“I know, baby, I know. Just hold on a little longer for me.”

After a few more thrusts, they became sloppy, you noticed, and all pent-up emotion boiled over into one strong orgasm that has you writhing and shaking in relief.

  “Well, fuck. That was good,” you spoke in between heavy breathing, the blanket you took from inside your couch now covering your glistening wet bodies.

“Best sex I’ve ever had if I’m being honestly,” Leon added, chuckling despite struggling to get some air himself.

“Yeah. But seriously though,” you steadied your head in your hand and began tracing random doodles on the exposed skin of his chest as you spoke, “Is this going to be a one-time thing or…”

“Well, to be honest, I wanna go further from just being a one-night stand. You know, a real relationship and all that. But if you want it to be a one-time thing, I’ll respect that.” You could tell Leon was disheartened at the thought of him being a one-night stand only but your intention was just the same as his and now, you were sure about your decision.

“I wanna go further than this, too. I love you so fucking much.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” Leon placed a chaste kiss on your lips before he pulled you on top of him and lulled you both into a deep slumber.

*****

Lmao this was longer than intended XD.

[lumosinlove]

Sweater Weather

part xvii

A/N:

Hey team!

I just want to pop in before the chapter to say a HUGE thank you to those who sent me letters!

Thanks to Hannah for your letter and O’Knutzy necklace! It’s AMAZING.

I want to thank Giana for your gorgeous letter (I’ll answer your questions in a separate post and I’m so glad you’re writing again!)

Thank you Kennedy for the painting, earrings, shark sticker (yay marine biologist!) and letter with the dried flowers :)

Thank you Alba for your SW art and your letter—yay to being there from the beginning!!

Thanks to Sophie for your kind words and letter!

Thank you Stephanie for your letter (and beautiful handwriting wow) and of course your gifts! I love the bookmarks and pin!

And last but certainly not least thank you to Alaena! I love that you included what asks you sent in XD and the STICKERS. I can’t decide if I want to put them on things or hang them all up on my bulletin board :) They’re incredible.

Thank you everyone, you’re all so thoughtful and kind!!

With SW ending soon (at least this fic, but this universe will never be over for me!) it is so incredibly lovely to hear what it means to you all. I feel so luck every single day that you guys love this team as much as I do. You thank me for this story, but I think the best part of fiction is that it expands and evolves differently in each mind it touches. Tumblr is such a freakin gift because I get a little glimpse into how you all think about these characters. So, I’m saying thank you to YOU. It’s truly a privilege to hear from you all. <3

If you feel like sending me anything, there is a link to my P.O. Box in my tumblr description! <3

Okay my mushy rant is done. Here’s chapter seventeen :)

~

Remus forgot his own birthday.

Lily had to remind him, bringing out a cake while he and Sirius had spent the day playing with baby Harry. Harry Potter. Harry James Potter.

The team adored him. Remus would never forget the sight of an entire team of hockey players, fresh off a plane, and crammed into a hospital room to peer at the small head of dark hair in Lily’s arms.

Minus one. Minus two, if what Sirius said was true, and Remus was part of the team. Remus had looked at the picture that Pascal had sent him from beside a sleeping Sirius and a heart monitor.

He had looked at the picture, and then at Sirius, and the relief doubled.

Four broken ribs. Bad, but it could have been worse. So much worse. A few days in Vegas to be monitored, just in case. Then, home.

Home for Remus’ birthday, home and in pain, but smiling none-the-less. Harry was a welcomed distraction from it all—the press, the hurt, the uncertainty. Lily seemed to know this without it needing to be said. Remus had told her she had enough going on without worrying about a cake, but Lily had just waved him off and cut them all large slices of the chocolate fluff.

Sirius, meanwhile, had somehow slipped a simple golden necklace around Harry’s neck, and when Remus looked down next, there it had been. A shining gold star pendant. The message had been clear. Sirius’ name-sake and Sirius himself—something to make a wish on.

Remus took a weeks off of work, all that he could.

Road-trips were a blur. Practices were anxious. The team was anxious.

March 27th.

Eight weeks. Sirius had been out for eight weeks. Resting, and stuck in his big house. Remus never thought he would be so thankful for Regulus.

“I’d rather be here than Slytherin any day, even though he whines like a baby when you’re gone.”

“Non,” Sirius would protest.

Regulus would raise an eyebrow. “Yeah.”

Remus would sneak into Sirius’ bedroom whenever he got home late, press one, two, three, four gentle kisses across his chest, and take his place on the other side of the pillow, carefully placed so that Sirius didn’t roll over during the night.

Sirius whined a good deal about that, too. And getting back on the ice.

“I just…I want to be back in case we make it to…” the playoffs.

The team was close. So close.

Sirius had only recently been allowed to come to the rink, suit and all, for home games to sit in the team box. It was strange, looking up from the bench at the jumbotron and seeing the image of Sirius there, standing with his arms crossed, sometimes with a beanie on, making his eyes look intense as he focused on the game in front of him. He was completely unreadable—to everyone but Remus. Remus could tell when he was happy with the team’s playing, when he was annoyed at their opponents. The internet was crawling with gifs of Sirius’ stormy eyes. Remus had more than a few saved, and they frequented the team group chat.

Remus looked up now, but all the jumbotron was showing was James, who had been taking lead in Sirius’ absence, talking quickly to Finn. Remus could see his own legs in the background.

The Stars were up 4-1, and there was ten minutes left in the second period. If they won this game, and they won the next game, they were in. And Sirius would be back the week after that—hopefully in time for the first playoff game, and not for an all-too-long summer vacation. Although, honestly, right then, Remus thought Sirius deserved either one. A chance at the Cup, or a break, a chance to rest up. To be together.

Leo was in net, Kasey resting up his thigh that continuously bothered him. Leo was skating a slow circle after the Stars scored yet another goal, tracing the blue crease with his stick. Remus could practically feel his furious calm.

“Big Rig may experience different weather up there, but he sure as hell has more gravity. Tremzy,” James knocked his helmet with his glove. “Don’t let him catch you, eh?”

“We gotta come back from this shit,” Finn said as he followed Logan over the boards. “For Leo. Leaving him out to dry out there. No.”

“For Cap,” Thomas said, coming back over the boards and breathing hard.

“Gotta put my baby in that silver crib!” James followed his wingers, a center for now.

“Cookie, Bluey, Ringer, be ready,” Coach called. “You’re on deck.”

“The oven is hot tonight,” Elias Cook said, pouring water over his neck.

“Stop saying that,” Kasey shook his head. “Jesus.”

“He can’t help the heat, Baby Bliz,” Thomas said.

Kasey just shook his head and looked back to the game.

Remus leaned in over Thomas’ shoulder. “That was a hit, Talkie, you good?”

“I’m hot,” Thomas said around his mouthguard.

Remus snorted, patting his shoulder pad. “You sure are.”

James lined up for the face off, Finn and Logan jostling against Benn and Perry. Logan dug his skates in when the ref dropped the puck and James whipped it back to him. Logan darted forward into the Stars’ zone, tailed closely.

“C’mon, Tremz,” Remus murmured.

Logan shot the puck off to Finn who got battered against the boards almost immediately by Benn, but got it smoothly to Olli, who sent it sailing back towards the Stars’ net. James was there behind the crease, Khudobin pushed out the wrong way—

James curled it in from behind and the Gryffindor goal horn blared.

“Fuck!” Thomas rose to his feet, knocking his stick against the boards. “Atta boy, baby-daddy!”

4-2 until the buzzer sounded and they were heading back down the tunnel. Remus glanced up at the screen one more time, and only just caught Sirius, smile plastered on as he was shown shaking the hands of a few older men. Remus suppressed a smile, and followed the team off of the ice for second intermission.

The locker room was subdued, and Sirius came in while Remus was crouched by Logan, taping up a jammed finger. He walked up to Coach first, leaning his elbows on the podium where he controlled the projector. Remus watched as he pointed to a few of the plays drawn up on the whiteboard, Coach nodding along.

“I can do this,” Logan said. “Leave with your moon eyes.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but tore off the tape and rose. “You’re all set. Try and keep it safe during third.”

“Oui,” Logan said, already sliding his headphones back on. Finn rose to get a fresh jersey, brushing a palm over the back of Logan’s neck on his way. Logan’s eyes followed him as he went to Leo next, who was sitting with his elbows on his knees in his stall, head down and airpods in. Finn squeezed himself in beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He leaned in to press a few kisses to his neck, murmuring soft words. Leo closed his eyes and pressed into him.

“Hey.”

Remus turned away from the two to meet Sirius’ eyes. He was smiling, a good break from the grimace Remus had become used to.

“Hi,” Remus said and pressed a hand over the familiar bandage, thick beneath Sirius’ suit and shirt. “Feeling okay?”

“I’m good,” Sirius leaned down, right in the locker room, and kissed him. His mouth was gentle, leisurely. “I feel good.”

Remus smiled into it, and took his hand. “Good. Come on.”

Sirius followed him, hand in Remus’, into the training office.

“Ten minutes until show time,” Remus said in the dim space and wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck. “Are you really feeling okay? Been on your feet for a while, I’ve been watching.”

“Loops, I come back soon. I’m healed, I’ve started light exercise. It’s just a matter of insurance.” Sirius leaned into him, lips brushing his. “You seemed to think I was fine last night.”

Remus grinned. “Yeah, I definitely think you were fine last night.”

Sirius smiled, but then his expression turned more grave. He bit his lip, and ran his hands up and down Remus’ sides a few times, almost as if to comfort himself. “Fuck, I want this for the team so bad.”

Remus nodded. This was a conversation they had been having more often than not. “I know. And they know. You want it for them, but baby, they want it for you. They’re out there doing their fucking hardest for you. I don’t think you should start preparing for the worst. Not yet. Hockey’s a fast game.”

“We’re just—we’re so close. And fucking Grayback and…and if we win this game, we just have to beat Vegas again and we’re in. And I won’t get to fucking be out there because of fucking Grayback. And he’s not even suspended anymore—”

Remus kissed him, and Sirius mumbled for a moment into it before relaxing.

“Two games,” Remus said. “Home. Then Vegas. We beat Grayback, take a chance at the cup away from him. That’s the best we can do.”

Sirius looked at him for a long moment. “How are you so okay with all of this?”

“What’s the alternative? Obsessing over him? He’s not worth it. At all.”

They looked up at the sound of the team noisily making their way back down the tunnel, shouts and whistles, trying to psych themselves up for a come back.

“Third,” Remus said, then tucked his fingers into Sirius’ hair and kissed him again. “You’re competitive. I love you for it. But, baby, you’ve already beaten him. You beat him a long time ago.”

Remus kissed Sirius’ slowly smiling mouth again and again before rushing out the door.

Sirius made his way back up to the box. He watched the other members’ eyes follow him as he slipped back into the private room. There was an absurd array of food and drinks on a table, designed to impress members and investors. Sushi rolls and miniature hot dogs, popcorn in Lions colored cardboard boxes. Red-frosted cupcakes and lion head cake-pops. Sirius took a cupcake. He’d already beaten Grayback. Remus had just kissed him. His ribs had healed well. It all called for a cupcake.

“Really letting yourself off, eh?”

Sirius looked up at a man. He was wearing a white collared shirt under one of Sirius’ jerseys. Obviously a fan, obviously nervous, obviously important given the way one of the managers was looking at him talking to Sirius.

“No,” Sirius said plainly. “I’m having a cupcake.”

There were laughs from around him, as if Sirius was the funniest guy in the room. Sirius didn’t feel funny. This guy was making him miss puck drop.

The man held out his hand. “I’m Mike. Real doozy you slapped the world with.”

Sirius took it tightly, cupcake in his other hand. “I wasn’t aware that I did the slapping.”

“Probably broke a lot of hearts though.”

Sirius looked at Mike the way he looked at opponents on the ice. He watched him blink, watched his body language change.

“I was thinking about my own heart. Désloé, how do we know each other again?”

“Oh. Well—”

“Right,” Sirius nodded. “Enjoy the game.”

Sirius walked towards the box’s edge, unwrapping his cupcake. He could see the entire stadium from up here, the teaming mass of red and gold, the team readying themselves on the ice. A tiny glimpse of Remus on the bench. Coach was gesturing and talking. He watched his own face on the jumbotron as he took a bite of the dessert. He found the camera and flashed it a thumbs up, waving his arms upwards and listening to the crowd’s cheers roar in time with his hands. He caught glimpses of rainbow flags in the crowd, signs with number twelve decked out in the colors. It was a nice contrast to the signs that Sirius saw on his way into the stadium. Defaced number twelve jerseys, slurs, people jeering at his window as he drove through security. Interesting, to see who was inside, and who was not.

The puck dropped and James won it. James who, despite them being down, was hot tonight. No doubt riding the adrenaline of Harry and Lily at home, of being named temporary captain, of being so close to what they all dreamed of.

Sirius couldn’t think it, not even in his head.

The puck seemed to be frozen in the central zone, both teams battling too hard. A stalemate in aggressive trench warfare. Back and forth, back and forth with no progress. Sirius crumpled the cupcake wrapping between his fists and cupped them together, shoulders tense.

“Allez…” he whispered to himself.

The camera was on him again, and he looked stony even to himself. He raised his eyes to it and pointed a finger down at the game. Show that, he mouthed.

The Lions goal horn blared. Logan had scored.

Sirius knew the camera caught his reaction on camera. He put his fists up, relief bubbling out of him in a shout.

“Allez, Tremzy!”

The crowd was going wild. Finn slammed Logan into the boards in celebration and the jumbotron replayed the beautiful tip-in. 4-3. Things weren’t so impossible anymore.

Sirius squeezed the wrapper in-between his hands again and set his elbows on the ledge.

“Play Kuny, play Kuny…” Sirius muttered under his breath. He would match Oleksiak. Sure enough, Coach sent Kuny’s line over the boards a second later. Nado and Evan Kane followed him, Fox and Sunqvist on defense.

“No power plays,” Sirius prayed. “Come on, Nado, no stupid penalties.”

“Do you always talk to yourself in French while playing?”

Sirius stiffened. Mike was back.

“Non, parfois je parle en russe.”

Mike blinked. “What?”

“Laisse-moi tranquille, homme intrusif,” Sirius grinned sharply. “I said only sometimes. Usually on the bench.”

That seemed to make Mike happy. “Hey, you’re really superstitious, right?”

“Yes.”

“Like what?”

Like being alone in the team box, Sirius thought bitterly. Like getting a blowjob from my boyfriend before a game, you know, that doozy I slapped the world with?

“There’s a lot of them,” Sirius said. “If you’ll excuse me, I really have to watch this.”

Mike nodded quickly. “Oh, of course, of course.”

Sirius shifted away a little when he didn’t move, tried to focus on the ice. The puck had dropped and it was on Evgeni’s stick. He was carrying it quickly up the ice, seeming to cut through the players with his broad shoulders. Sirius imagined he could hear his deep voice, calling for Nado to look alive. The pass connected, but Seguin tapped it out of Nado’s hands from behind and sent it up the ice quickly to Benn.

“Merde,” Sirius said. The Lions were changing and then it was Pascal’s line with Elias and Brady, Olli and Timmy on defense. Benn managed to get around Olli, and then—

Leo was pushing far out of the crease and aggressively jabbed the puck right from Benn’s stick and onto Pascal’s waiting one. Leo slid back into the crease like a water snake. The stadium was chaos.

Knutty, Knutty, Knutty, was the chant. It filled the air itself. The jumbotron showed the bench briefly, Logan and Finn and Thomas grinning up at the stands. Pascal still had the puck.

His solid form darted up a clear channel, catching the Stars in a slow shift change. He was in front of the goal, Sirius squeezed the wrapper between his palms. Pascal faked by lifting his left leg, Khudobin went for it, and Pascal slid it right between his pads, neat and tidy.

They tied the game. They tied up the game. Sirius pushed back from the railing with a long breath as a TV break began. The Lions ice crew came out to some pop song and began their sweep. Sirius looked down at his bench and yearned to be with them. He rubbed his hand absentmindedly over his ribs. They were healed. He had a few more sessions with Remus left and then he would be back. He would be back.

He thought of the hit.

He hadn’t known what was wrong. There had been no air in his lungs. But Remus had been his first thought. He knew who hit him, he had seen his face before he hit the ice.

Remus.

This would hurt Remus.

“Wait, has a what?”

His own voice over the jumbotron drew him out of his thoughts. It was a pre-recorded interview, one of the fluff ones that they played for fun to entertain the crowd.

Marlene’s voice from off screen repeated the question. “Which one of your teammates has a life-sized Stormtrooper, R2-D2 and C-3PO action figure in their apartment?”

They showed his own face again, laughing and thinking. “Oh. Um.”

It switched to James, arms crossed and actually thinking about it. He pushed his glasses up his nose and laughed. “I don’t know, Finn and Leo? That seems like a weird Harzy thing.”

It cut to Finn. “That’s not weird. I wish it was me. I’ll convince Nut, don’t you worry.”

Pascal looked unimpressed, sitting easily in the chair. “There is only one person this could be, and that person spent the first two months of his time in the U.S. with only the phrases, You’re my only hope, and I’m your father, to his vocabulary. Oh, and the word no.”

Sunny was laughing. “I know exactly who this is.”

Nado looked pained. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve seen Star Wars now? Do you have any idea?”

Finally, the screen cut to Evgeni, smiling, tongue jokingly between his teeth. “Good for English, you know?” He held up his hands. “I am Force.”

The video ended with a swoop of the Lions’ logo, and even Sirius could help but smile. There was eight minutes left in the period.

Eight minutes to pull ahead.

They would do it.

The Stars had called a time out, and so James, Logan, and Finn were milling around the ice together, keeping their muscles warm. Leo was looping around the goal.

They were ready.

Seguin faced off against James, both of them leaning forward.

Seguin won it.

There was a fleury when James was pinned to the boards by Oleksiak, but Logan was there to steal the puck from beneath his feet.

The clock had dwindled down to four minutes when a whistle blew with a slashing penalty on the Stars. Pascal and Thomas joined James on the ice for the power play unit.

Sirius could feel the energetic restlessness of the crowd. They all knew what this could mean. Sirius let out a shaky breath and looked at the wrapper in his hands. He thought of Remus. Remus, and his long list of superstitions. But what pulled him through had been himself. Sirius held it anyway, but he held his Lions closer.

They were ready.

They set themselves up in a triangle, a tic-tac-toe, in front of the Stars’ goal. The sent it to each other quickly, boxing the defensemen in. Finally, James got it to Evgeni, who slapped it with a one timer and—

The goal horn. 00:24 seconds remaining.

The crowd was already singing with victory. The Stars tried for one last push, but Leo snatched the puck right out of the air with his glove.

00:03.

Done.

Sirius pushed his hands through his hair in relief. “Merde.”

Sirius was out of the box before anyone could even think about congratulating him, jogging down the private staircase and towards the locker room. He made it to the player’s hallway before he was stopped by a smiling Alice.

“I know, I know,” she said. “Can we just get a few questions in?” She gestured over to where Marlene was standing with a microphone, talking to a dark haired girl holding a camera. Alice raised an eyebrow. “It’s only Marlene.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Sure.”

Alice patted his arm. “Congrats, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Sirius said and shoved his hands into his pockets while looking at Marlene expectantly.

“Okay, McKinnon, let’s go.”

Marlene scoffed. “Nice to see you, too. Hi Cap, how are you? Ribs, mind, in general.”

Sirius relaxed a little. If he had to do interviews, he preferred Marlene above all else. “I’m healing well. Ready to get back on the ice.”

Marlene narrowed her eyes at his short response and he smiled. That made her smile. Those were rare for the press, and she had just caught one.

“Any thoughts you want to share about how the majority of the world is responding to you lately? By my calculations, you’re quite the icon and inspiration—not that you weren’t before of course.”

Sirius laughed a little. “Oh yeah? Um,” he cleared his throat. When he looked up he could see Remus down the hall a little ways. He was talking to Kasey who was still fully dressed. Remus looked beautiful and strong and…And Sirius just… He hated questions like this but he just—

“Someone is always going to find something wrong with you,” Sirius said. “With what you say. With what you do. My job is not to please, you know? My job is to play hockey, sure, but, really, my job is to be the person I want to be, do the things I believe are right, do the things I love. With the people I choose to love. I think that’s everyone’s job,” Sirius found Remus beyond the cameras again, along with everything he had ever wanted. He looked back to Marlene. “That took me a long time to learn. They say, have a thick skin and an open heart. Before, all I had was a thick skin. Now, I’ve found someone who can help me have both. I didn’t even realize how much I needed that.”

~

“And that was an interview with a surprisingly heartfelt Captain Sirius Black,” Lee Jordan broke off in a laugh. “Earlier this game we also got to see him telling the cameras, show the game, show the game. Pointing down at the ice. Outstanding. That’s a layer of the Captain that I don’t think we see very often. From what I hear, the dude’s funny, though, Dean. Now, let’s take a look at the Lions’ top scorers. With the Captain out, that would be Logan Tremblay, James Potter, and, that’s right, one of the oldest in the league, Pascal Dumais…”

“What is that?” Remus said, appearing in front of Sirius where he was waiting in the PT room and drawing his attention away from the television. Remus peered at his hands.

“Oh,” Sirius felt himself flush as he looked down at the cupcake wrapper, more like a tiny ball of oily paper now. “I was holding this when Logan scored, so…”

Remus laughed. “So, you had to hold it the entire period. And now it’s practically falling apart. You’re not keeping that.”

“But it—” Remus grinned as Sirius surrendered the wrapper. “Fine.”

“Hey,” Remus said, and Sirius looked up. Remus was flushed from the game, eyes bright with the win. He leaned up and kissed him hotly, then softly. Sirius had to blink a few times when he pulled away. 

“You always had an open heart,” Remus said. “That’s obvious to anyone who knows you. Who loves you.”

Sirius smiled. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Someone cleared their throat. “Sorry…”

They looked up to see Kasey, now in just some basketball shorts. “Hi.”

“Hey, Bliz, I’m ready for you,” Remus said, then looked up at Sirius. “I can get the subway back if you wanna go home to Regulus.”

“Non, non, I’ll wait,” Sirius said, and bumped fists with Kasey on his way out.

Remus smiled after him for a moment, then at Kasey. “So, thigh?”

Kasey nodded, eyes shifting downward, then back to Remus again. “Yeah.”

Remus paused, brows drawing together. “Kasey, are you—”

“Hey, Kase?” Natalie appeared in the doorway. She had her long blonde hair drawn back in two dutch braids and a Blizzard jersey on over a gray sweatshirt with the hood spilling out. Her smile wasn’t as bright as usual.

“Hi, Remus,” she said. “Baby, I’m gonna go say hi to Marlene. Just text me when you’re all set okay?”

“Hi, Nat,” Remus said slowly.

Kasey nodded, accepting a kiss on the cheek. “Okay.”

He hopped up on the table and lay on his back while Remus got ready.

“Just the thigh that’s bothering you?” Remus said carefully. He pushed Kasey’s shorts up his thigh to get at the tense muscle and carefully began kneading the muscles. The post-game played softly on the television while Remus waited for Kasey to speak.

“Will it always be like this, Loops?” Kasey asked quietly after a few moments.

Remus looked up at where Kasey was reclining on the padded table with his fingers across his chest. Remus, if he was being honest with himself, had been waiting to have this conversation with Kasey for a while.

Kasey looked back at him. “It acts up more often than not. I can’t play if I can go down, I…I can’t—”

“I know,” Remus said softly. “I know, Kase. Look.” Remus moved down to his knee, smoothing the muscle firmly. “This injury…it’s a tough one. It takes a long time to heal. It takes time and endurance. So, my answer is no. It won’t always be like this. It just takes time.”

“What if I don’t have time?” Kasey’s voice was even quieter. “I’m a goalie. Sometimes we have less—”

“Kase,” Remus looked at him. “You’re twenty six years old. You do.”

Kasey groaned as Remus pressed his knee out to the side, loosening the muscle slowly. “Fuck.”

“We’ll do some strength training next practice, okay? We’ll make a schedule, I’ll work with you. And we have a day off tomorrow. I’ll send you some videos to do at home if you want, or you can rest.” Remus smiled a little. “Or Natalie can help you stretch.”

Kasey smiled and it seemed easier. “When you say stretch…”

Remus laughed. “That’s the point. Look, you will heal, but you also have to enjoy the rest of your life. Hockey’s everything, and not everything at the same time. I’m gonna give you some salve, okay? And then you’ll be good for the night. Rest.”

Kasey nodded. “How’s Cap doing?”

“He’s okay,” Remus said, warming up the muscle salve between his palms. “Wants to be out there with you guys.”

“We want him there,” Kasey sat up on his elbows and watched Remus’s hands. “What about baby Black?”

Remus snorted. “Good. I mean, happy he’s here. The whole Snake runaway thing is sort of up in the air. The Snakes have their lawyers on his ass about his contract, and Minnie thinks he might have to go public with some pretty horrific stories to prove that they breached it.”

“Horrific stories…”

Their eyes met somberly. “I know.”

“Jesus,” Kasey sighed as he sat up. He pushed his hair out of his face and looked down at his leg. “That feels better. I…I feel better.”

“Good. Try and stay off it as much as you can, okay? Nat loves you to death, don’t tell me she won’t get you what you need.”

“Oh, she will,” Kasey smiled and eased himself carefully off the table. “Thanks, Loops.”

“Bliz,” Remus said, and Kasey turned to look back. “You have time and life and everything else. Really.”

Kasey nodded. He smiled a serious sort of smile. “You’re right. I get in my head.”

“You’re a goalie. That’s part of the job.”

Kasey laughed, flipped him off, and closed the door behind him.

Sirius was waiting for him on one of the couches in the player’s lounge, eyes closed and beanie on his head. His shoulders looked broad in his dark winter coat and suit.

“Hi, handsome,” Remus said, leaning over Sirius with his hands resting against the back of the couch on either side of his head.

Sirius’ eyes opened and he smiled. “Salut.”

“Ready to go home?”

“Regulus says he’s out with Leo. Day off and all that,” Sirius tilted his chin up, silently asking. “House to ourselves.”

Remus pushed himself back upright. “Let’s go.”

~

“I’m glad Regulus had Leo,” Remus said as he stood in Sirius’ massive but mostly empty closet. He picked out one of Sirius’ t-shirts and sweatpants and pulled them on. “They’re both eighteen and both have a lot of pressure to deal with, even if it’s, you know, different pressure. It’s nice.”

“Yeah, I’m happy,” Sirius said as he came back into the bedroom from the bathroom. His torso looked lean in his his sweatpants, the bruising finally faded. "And thankful to Leo. He didn’t have to reach out, you know?” Sirius collapsed onto the bed with a smile, bouncing a little. “Now, let’s stop talking about my brother.”

“Nope, no bed yet. Come on.”

“Loops.”

“You want to play next week, you do this with me now. Let’s go.”

Sirius let Remus wrangle him downstairs and into the gym. Sirius put on some music and then Remus lay him out in just his sweatpants on a soft mat and led him through the breathing exercises and some of the light core work that was on his recovery plan. Sirius kept his eyes on Remus the entire time, the two of them laughing as his hands wandered to Remus’ hips. Remus had to admit that, now that Sirius wasn’t in pain, watching him spread out on the mat like this got him. His softly moving chest, his hard muscles, the shadowed curl of his hair on his temples. He let it get him, there in the privacy of Sirius’ basement. Sirius noticed.

He smiled the next time he raised up in a crunch, abs working, hands behind his head. “Maybe I could use some incentive.”

Remus raised an eyebrow from where he was by Sirius’ bent knees. “Oh?”

Sirius pushed up and held there until Remus bent so he could kiss Remus lightly, then lowered back down.

The next time he came up, he brought Remus down with him. He parted his knees so Remus could settle between them. Sirius’ chest was warm from the exercise, his heartbeat even. Remus sighed into his kisses.

“We should go easy, we have the party at Pascal’s tomorrow—”

“I’m perfect,” Sirius said, and rolled them gently so that Remus was on his back now, Sirius hovering over him. “I feel perfect. I want you so bad.”

It had been a bit of a challenge. They’d been on strict no-sex orders, given to them rather sheepishly by Sirius’ doctor while he was still in the hospital. It had been a lot of Remus trying to sneak a quick jack-off in the shower, trying not to make things harder on Sirius, only to come out of the shower to a glowering, turned-on boyfriend.

Getting the all clear had been spine-melting, and it had sort of been that way ever since. Still, sex was few and far in between. Regulus was in the house more often than not, and even if it was a big house, Remus didn’t think it was the best idea to invite him to stay only to sneak off to Sirius’ bedroom.

Regulus had received the message quickly though, and told them clearly enough when he would be out for a while.

Remus shuttered when Sirius’ hardening cock dragged across his own.

“Fuck, are we really doing this in the gym?” Remus panted out a laugh. He was already so turned on that it ached. His dick pressed insistently against the band of his sweatpants, and when Sirius next dragged his hips down, the loose fabric pulled away to expose the shiny head of his cock. Remus moaned. “Sirius, fuck…fuck, I—”

“No lube,” Sirius said. “Shit, I…”

Remus just pushed Sirius’ sweatpants down over his ass, making his cock fall free, bobbing and stiff, and tugged his own sweatpants down until his hips and thighs were exposed. Remus pushed their hips together, mouth open. It was plenty wet, Sirius cock already beginning to shine at the head.

Sirius fucked his hips forward steadily against Remus, the friction making him squeeze his eyes shut. Remus felt Sirius’ lips against his neck, and wrapped his arms around him. He felt sort of frantic with it, lazily happy with how much he loved this.

“Love you,” he murmured as Sirius pushed forward with a well-aimed thrust. “Fuck, baby, yeah…”

“Not bad for a core workout,” Sirius said into his skin.

Remus laughed, even as pleasure sparked at the edges of his vision. His cock felt heavy and sensitive against his stomach.

“Don’t overdo it,” Remus said. “Here.”

Remus pushed at Sirius’ shoulders until Sirius groaned and rolled onto his back.

“I’m fi—”

His complaints died on his tongue when Remus pressed up all along his side, cock trapped between them, and wrapped a hand around Sirius. He kept his strokes even and tight, running his fingers down over his full balls, the vein on the underside. Sirius was hot in his hand, precome thin and leaking over the back of Remus’ hand. Remus kissed Sirius, tongue sliding into his mouth, and more heat trickled over his fingers. Remus felt like he could come just like that. It was almost—surreal. He was so turned on, especially for not even having done that much. He had just been taking Sirius through his exercises one moment, and then Sirius had taken him between his thighs and he was done for.

“Re, let me,” Sirius breathed, and his fingers found his own cock for a moment before wrapping around Remus’ shoulders to reach behind him, rubbing over the swell of his ass.

Heat pooled in Remus stomach and made his hand stutter, gripping Sirius tighter. “Fuck, yes…”

Sirius’ fingers were soft and slow as they worked their way inside of Remus. It was a little dry, but Remus let his temple pitch forward onto Sirius’ chest as Sirius fingered him. He stroked Sirius slowly, dazed by the contrast between his own pale fingers and the darker, flushed skin of him. He wished he could see Sirius’ hand.

“There,” Remus gasped suddenly. “Ah—”

Sirius pressed him in gentle, slow strokes. It was different, being touched there and not his cock. Remus pushed into the feeling, his cock trapped and still between them. It wasn’t enough to do much except let Sirius’ fingers build a painfully slow pressure inside him. His eyes were lidded as he stroked Sirius’ cock until it was rock hard in his palm. He threw a leg over Sirius’ thighs so that Sirius could push into him deeper, finger curving against his prostate.

Remus just moaned.

“I’m gonna come soon, mon loup,” Sirius panted, hips straining up once, twice. “Loops—”

Remus sped up his hand, swiping his thumb over the swollen head, and then Sirius’ hips jerked. Come dripped lazily over Remus’ fingers, more and more of it, in thick white pulses. Remus’ dick throbbed at the sight, at Sirius’ fingers, tense from his orgasm, pressing hard inside of him. He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them, gasping. His hand had stilled against the base of Sirius’ cock, and he could feel him pulsing there, cock throbbing through his orgasm. Sirius’ head had fallen back against the mat, his chest rising and falling quickly beneath Remus’ chest. It was a mess on his hips and Remus’ fingers.

“Fuck. Oh—” Sirius moaned as Remus started stroking him again. His cock strained valiantly, but it was spent and softening. “C’mere, Loops, fuck.”

Sirius turned into Remus, fingers twisting inside of him. It gave him a better angle, and when he moved next, he doubled down.

Remus could only hold onto his shoulders, pliant against the mat.

“Can you come like this, sweetheart?” Sirius said gently. “Just on my fingers?”

Remus already felt like he was coming. There was sweat on his temples and chest, and he felt Sirius’ kiss the salt away. His cock was taught against his stomach, an angry red now. Sirius stroked inside of him evenly, but in quicker time. Remus didn’t even have time to catch one breath before the next was stolen.

“I’m coming—” Remus said, but he knew he wasn’t. Not yet. But he was sure he was. He groaned and Sirius kissed his exposed throat, his back arched up, pressing down on him.

“C’mon, baby,” Sirius said. “Fuck, look at you.”

“I’m coming,” Remus said again, voice breaking, and the calloused pad of Sirius’ finger pressed against him hard, and then he really was. It tore out of him forever, spilling against Sirius’ tan skin. Sirius cradled Remus against him, saying soft things in French until Remus could open his eyes again. Sirius took Remus’ dick gently in his hand, easing a last shiver of pleasure from him. Remus smiled a little deliriously and curled closer to his warmth.

“Bath?” Sirius whispered.

“We gotta clean this,” Remus laughed. “Fuck, I feel like my brain is gone.”

“I’ll clean,” Sirius said, and tilted Remus’ head up for a kiss. “Go get the hot water going.”

That sounded fine to Remus.

~

Lily opened the door to Pascal’s house with Harry cradled in her arms.

“Sirius fucking Black I swear to god you triggered my labor.”

“You say that to me every time you see me.”

She stepped aside. “And will continue to do so.”

Remus stepped through the door first and took Harry from her, holding him close so that Sirius could press a kiss to one of his chubby cheeks. He wasn’t heavy, but Sirius wasn’t suppose to lift very much. Harry smiled at him and Remus watched as Sirius smiled back, murmuring in French.

“Where’s Regulus?” Lily asked.

Sirius shrugged, still making faces at Harry.

“Out with Leo,” Finn’s voice suddenly said. He was sitting on the couch with Logan tucked up against his side. “Yeah, uh-huh, Leo’s replacing us with your brother.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “That’s not true.”

Finn raised his eyebrows, as if to say he wasn’t so sure about that. Logan nudged his jaw with his nose until he pressed a light kiss to his lips. Remus smiled.

He could see the long road that was behind them and the long road ahead at the same time. It was better that way.

Most of the team was there. The living room had a huge banner that read Congratulations Logan! and beneath it a smaller one: for finally moving out of my basement! 

Sirius laughed hard. “I didn’t get one of these!”

Pascal shook his head from where he was playing cards with Sergei. “I knew you would leave eventually. This one, I wasn’t so sure.”

“Hey,” Logan groaned.

Remus laughed and snapped a picture of Sirius in front of it.

“Can I have that for my instagram?” James asked.

“Baby, too much instagram, okay, I love you so much, but…” Lily winced.

“But I have a baby now,” James stood to Remus’ other side, and then Remus had two fully grown hockey players making baby talk surrounding him. “That’s what instagram’s for. Isn’t it, my little lion?”

Harry laughed delightedly at his father.

Kasey and Natalie were sitting on the couch beside Logan and Finn. Natalie had Kasey sitting between her legs on the floor, fingers running through his hair as she talked to them. Kasey seemed to be talking very seriously about something with Katie, who seemed to be wearing three princess dresses at the same time. She was sitting in his lap and he was nodding along, responding whenever she waited for him to.

Remus handed Harry back to Lily when they went into the kitchen to get drinks. Celeste was in the kitchen with Anya, and Thomas seemed to be helping, too, along with Noelle.

When Sirius said he was surprised to see her, she waved him off, taking a sip of her wine. “I’m the resident Tremblay sister representative. We were all pretty worried about Lolo for a minute there, but…” she smiled. “If only we knew. Not one boy, but two. Plus,” she looked over at Thomas, who was focusing intently on what Celeste was saying and stirring on the stove. “I have my own reasons.”

“Talkie’s a good one,” Remus said. “You lucked out there.”

“Right?” Noelle laughed, then nodded at Sirius. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” Remus and Sirius said at the same time.

Noelle laughed again, and then her expression became more mild. “And…” she looked towards the living room, where they could distinctly hear Logan’s laugh. “I know none of this was easy for you two, but I’m happy you were there for my brother. Maybe not in the way you wanted to be…in the way any of us wanted…but you showed him it was okay to be who he is. I think Finn would have gotten to him eventually but I think it would have taken a lot longer. I’m glad he’s happy now. And that’s largely thanks to you two.”

“The delicious smells of success,” Thomas suddenly sang out, slightly off-key. “Breathe in the delicious smells of success, hey, Christmas, come over here and look at this goodness.”

Noelle laughed. “Oh, I’m already looking at it.” She sent Remus and Sirius a last smile. “Anyway, I said my piece.”

Remus laughed as she returned to Thomas’ side, tucking herself against him.

“That was sweet,” he said and rubbed his hand gently over Sirius’ chest, sort of out of habit by now. He could feel the bandages there.

Sirius kissed Remus’ temple. “Yeah.”

“Sirius, mon cher,” Celeste kissed Sirius’ cheek when she came over from the stove. “You are okay? Of course you are, Remus is with you. No more big empty house and take out meals, oui?”

Sirius laughed. “Way to sell me out.”

Remus snorted. “Like everyone didn’t already know.”

Celeste laughed. “C’est vrai.” She sighed, patting Sirius’ chest, near his ribs. “I am still so angry about Grayback, honestly.”

“Aren’t we all,” Pascal said, coming over. Celeste wrapped an arm around him.

“You and me both,” Sirius said, taking a sip of his wine. “But it’s over. I have to let it be over or else I’ll go insane.”

“You’ll be back out there soon,” Pascal said.

Sirius smiled. “Only thanks to Loops.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “It’s you who does the hard part.”

Pascal laughed. “As if getting this boy to do what he’s told isn’t the hard part.”

Remus laughed. “Hm, true.”

“Celeste, the goodness looks ready to me,” Thomas called over from the stove.

Celeste laughed and leaned back towards the doorway to the living room.

“Dinner, everyone!” she called.

It only took a few moments for the kitchen to become crowded with people lining up with their plates.

“Hey,” Evgeni bee-lined between them for the wine bottle, but stopped on the way to give Remus a kiss on both cheeks. “Get Captain laid, no more grumpy.”

“Kuny,” Remus said.

Nado, behind him as always, cracked up. Sirius laughed, too.

“Merde, Kuns,” he said. “Subtle.”

“Very,” Regulus’ wry voice suddenly said from behind them as he and Leo entered the kitchen.

“Just in time!” Celeste said, handing them both plates. “Where have you boys been?”

Leo shrugged. “Just—hi, sweetheart,” he cut off as Finn wrapped his arms around his waist. “Just touring around Gryf. Got lunch.”

“Yeah, Sid’s is the best,” Regulus said.

Sirius spluttered mid way through serving himself dinner. “I told you that.”

“So?”

“So, you believe Leo and not me?”

Leo grinned. Regulus shrugged.

Remus spent most of dinner holding baby Harry and watching Sirius tickle his tummy while he laughed. James looked ready to cry at the sight. Lily took him back to be fed when they moved to sit around the living room with dessert, but Remus didn’t mind. He just leaned back into Sirius’ chest, happy with his team around him.

Logan looked red in the face from all the jokes implying why he was so eager to move in with Leo and Finn. Adele had stuck close to him all evening, sitting on his free side. Logan had his arm around her. Remus had overheard him assuring her that he’d be over to visit all the time, which he thought was unbearably sweet. Leo looked resigned and amused to the teasing, and Finn just looked thoroughly pleased, sitting between them with an arm around each.

Remus felt a kiss being placed on his neck.

“Maybe we could celebrate more than one move tonight,” Sirius said into Remus’ ear.

Remus held Sirius’ arms across his chest, turning to look at him. “What?”

Sirius just smiled and pulled Remus out of the living room and into the butler’s pantry of the kitchen. He took Remus’ hands in his warm ones. “You should move in with me.”

Remus took a slow breath in.

Sirius slid his hands up Remus’ forearms. “I want you to move in with me.”

“Baby…”

“Besides,” Sirius smiled. “Your mom will be coming to town soon with any luck,” Sirius knocked gently on the wooden cupboard behind Remus’ head with a smile. “Better not to disappoint her.”

Remus laughed, reaching up to press his hands to Sirius’ cheeks. “Better not.”

Sirius leaned down to nudge their noses together. “Live with me. You sort of already do, and I…I love it so much. I love having you near.”

Remus nodded. “Yes.” He kissed him once, and again, and again. “Yeah, I want to.”

Sirius smiled into their next kiss, and that was how Logan found them.

“Alors,” he said, hands up. “Sorry. Just got sent in for some more wine. God knows I need it.”

Remus flushed and laughed as Logan reached down for a bottle from the wine fridge.

“Carry on.”

“Oops,” Sirius snorted when they were alone again.

“I’ll have to get a car,” Remus mused as Sirius hugged him against his chest. Sirius lived just outside the city center. “No more subways and city walking from out here.”

“I’ll buy you whatever car you want.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Sirius squeezed him closer. “It’s what I said. I want to. What else do you want? Tell me.”

Remus smiled and tilted his chin up to look at him. “You.”

~

It had been hard, saying goodbye to Sirius for the short road trip to Vegas. It was strange going without him.

“Force him to keep doing his exercises,” Remus had told Regulus firmly.

“Will do,” Regulus saluted.

“Miss you already,” Sirius had said softly when he dropped Remus off at departures.

“Just a few days,” Remus kissed his across the seats, and then kissed his new star necklace. “They’ll win.”

“Shh,” Sirius laughed gently.

Remus just smiled. “You’ll see."

Remus was in the visitor’s PT room, making sure it was well-stocked. Just in case. Moody was already in there, leaning against the table and watching the pre-game. He greeted Remus with a nod, and Remus pulled out a box of supplies to sort through while listening.

“—first time the Lions will be on the ice with Fenrir Grayback who, as we all know, received a two game suspension after a hard hit on Lions Captain Sirius Black, breaking four of his ribs. We know that the Lions organization was especially not happy about the lack of severity shown by the League. I suppose we may see what the players have to say about this tonight. I expect the Lions will push especially hard for a win in honor of their wounded Captain—not to mention that winning this game would secure them a spot in this year’s Stanley Cup play-offs. Marc-André Fleury is back with his rainbow stick tape, his second time showing support for Black. It’s nice to see. Let’s take a look at who else we’re watching tonight. First, we’ll talk about Logan Tremblay…”

“One game,” Moody grumbled. “One game.”

“One game,” Remus repeated. “Sirius really wanted to be out there tonight.”

“I don’t think Grayback knows what’s coming for him now that he isn’t,” Moody laughed gruffly. “You saw those boys when he took Sirius out. They’re fresh out of a day-off now. Rested, furious, determined.” Moody tilted his head. “I feel good things in my leg.”

Remus laughed. “Well, thank God.”

Sirius was sitting with his brother on the large, leather couch in his TV den, anxious and waiting for the second period to resume. The commercials were muted and he was waiting for Regulus to work his way up towards saying whatever it was that he was holding back. Sirius could tell there was something.

“Your house is ridiculous,” Regulus said around his Chinese takeout—not for the first time.

“I was young,” Sirius said defensively. “I thought buying a house like this was, like, required.”

“Stupide,” Regulus snorted.

“—a nasty hit on Finn O’Hara by Ryan Reaves, but he seems okay,” the commentator said, replaying the hit, and Sirius tensed. He didn’t need a replay of that. They cut back to commercials again.

“Do you think they can actually force me to go back?” Regulus said suddenly.

When Sirius looked over he was poking mildly at his noodles.

“I won’t let them do that.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “You’re Sirius Black, not God.”

“I won’t let them do that,” Sirius said again. “Tu comprends? I will not. And Minnie won’t either.”

“Maman says—”

Sirius sat up. “You’ve been talking to her?”

“I have to sometimes,” Regulus grumbled. “Legal stuff. Minnie’s always there.”

“It doesn’t matter what she says. She is—”

“Yes, I know what she is,” Regulus snapped. “I’ve been living with her—until a few months ago, in case you forgot.” He glowered around the room. “While you were in your big fancy house…”

Sirius blinked. “Reg…”

“I’m not—mad at you. I was, but I’m not. I mean, I’m doing what you did, aren’t I? Making a better life, damn the consequences?” Regulus sighed. “There are other Snakes who want out, you know.”

Sirius sat up. “Like…witnesses? Reg, you could compile a case.”

“They’re worried they’ll never get back into the League,” Regulus said. “I’m trying, but…I don’t know, Sirius.”

Sirius’ heart ached. He looked down at his chicken and rice. “I wish I could tell you what to do.”

Regulus looked at him, gray on gray, and nodded. “I know.” He glanced at the TV. “We’re back.”

Sirius secretly liked that. Looking at the Lions play with his brother, and hearing him say we.

“O’Hara didn’t need any help getting up, even if he looked a little rattled. Now, speaking from experience, I don’t know about you, Lee, but I was waiting for O’Hara’s line mate, Logan Tremblay to have something to say about it…Tremblay did not challenge Reaves, though.”

They were lining up for puck drop, James at the center against—

Grayback.

“You know, Dean, I think that’s a testament to these young Lions, really all the Lions. They call them the cubs, you know. You can tell how much they want this. They band together, they listen, they work…I think it’s pretty rare to see such fine communication in an entire team.”

Grayback won the face off.

“Fuck,” Regulus breathed.

Sirius wished he was there, standing beside Remus, on the bench, jumping the boards—anything. Instead, he was sitting on the couch, eating take-out. Helpless.

The entire first period, and the majority of this one had been back and forth. The score was still 0-0. They were fighting. Hard. Fenrir passed it to Tuch, who knocked it over to Engelland. Engelland took a hard shot, and Leo caught it in his glove.

“Another amazing save by Knut,” Dean said. “Rookie goal tender Leo Knut has blocked 29 shots in this game so far, most of them with his glove. I love seeing that sort of technique from the younger players, you know?”

“Absolutely Dean. And it looks to me like Coach Weasley is giving the Blizzard, Kasey Winter, a nice long rest as he looks ahead to hopefully a long and successful playoff run.”

Sirius leaned forward as play started up again. Evgeni barreled against Reaves and Fenrir, evading a two-on-one with a slick pass to Nado. It was hard hockey—it looked a little like play-off hockey. Brutal, hard-hitting, and determined.

It stayed like that until half way through the third.

“Fucking hell,” Regulus said. “How does this game still have no score?”

Sirius shook his head. His heart was in his throat. He had texted Remus at the second intermission.

Boys are fired as hell, Remus had said. Good feelings. They don’t even seem tired.

Harzy okay? he had said.

Yes. Then, a minute later. Boasting that you’re checking on him XD

That reassurance was the only thing keeping Sirius sane.

“We have to break their defense,” Sirius was half watching the battle on the ice and half running through plays in his mind. The clock read twelve minutes.

Sirius could have laughed. He pressed his necklace pendant between his palms, his steepled fingers against his mouth. He wasn’t religious. He just wanted this. For all of them.

Pascal’s line was out.

“Come on Dumo,” Sirius said.

Sirius watched Pascal and Fenrir line up for the face off with tense shoulders. He waited, and waited, and then the referee was straightening again, looking at Pascal and pointing away.

“Fuck,” Sirius cursed. “He’s kicking Dumo out of the circle.”

“I wonder what he said.”

Sirius silently begged Pascal to be careful.

Brady took Pascal’s place. He won the face off, and Sirius and Regulus shouted.

He passed it easily to Pascal, who dragged it along the boards.

“What’s he going so slow for?” Regulus demanded, fist hitting the couch.

Sirius only saw what was coming next because of the TV angle.

Pascal had his head down, and Fenrir was skating hard towards him on the ice.

Sirius and Regulus were on their feet in a second, shouting at the television. They couldn’t warn him.

Sirius couldn’t even breathe properly. It seemed to go on in slow motion, all of it. Pascal, his—his father, really, his protector. The man who had taken him right from under his mother’s grasp. Pascal who knew him better than anyone. Maybe even Remus.

Fenrir was obviously going in for the hit. He was probably confident that he could get away with it again. Just like he had with Remus. With Sirius. If he so much as touched Dumo—

But he underestimated Pascal Dumais just like had last time.

Pascal, puck on his stick, let Fenrir get closer, and closer, and then deked right. He spun on his right blade harshly and kicked off the boards like a goalie did on a goal post. The effect was that he went rocketing out of the way, right towards the Golden Knights’ goal, and Fenrir slammed into the boards with his own full-force.

The game didn’t pause for him. It only stopped when the goal lit up red as Pascal shot a clean line into the top left corner of the net.

Six minutes and three seconds remaining. 1-0, Lions. The Lions bench was on their feet, sticks banging against the boards as Pascal skated down for glove taps. The TV showed his familiar face, smiling. He looked into the camera for a moment, and Sirius swore Pascal was looking right at him.

He won’t get you again, the look said. Pascal tussled Remus’ hair with his glove. Or any of us.

Six minutes felt like six hours, longer and longer with each one of Leo’s saves. They showed his face during an offside whistle. He tilted his helmet up for some water. His blonde hair was darkened and drenched with sweat, but his blue eyes were fierce. He tapped his mask back down, and went back into a crouch. Sirius had never been so proud of Leo fucking Knut.

Shots were traded ferociously, the puck practically bouncing between the zones. Leo saved it with his blocker, a few bouncing off of his helmet, some dangerously close to his neck guard. He pushed off one post and dropped into a full split, the puck sliding snugly against his pad until he scooped it up like a hawk.

“Fucking hell, Leo,” Regulus mumbled.

“Right,” Sirius said. “Merde.”

Three minutes. James had four shots that very nearly went in. Logan had five close-calls. They were panting on the bench, squirting cold water down their necks, but they were keeping the score. They were protecting their lead.

Two minutes.

The Golden Knights pulled their goalie, the net was empty, and still no one scored again.

When the buzzer finally sounded, Sirius was breathing like he was on the ice, too.

The bench exploded, spilling out onto the ice. Finn threw his gloves into the air right before Logan crashed into him.

They had won the game with one goal, and three periods of sheer will-power.

Sirius hugged Regulus hard. He watched as his boys jumped on each other against the boards, knocking Leo’s helmet for his shut-out and grinning. They were clinched.

They were going to the playoffs.

[fckwritersblock]

Act 1: While We’re Young

Chapter 5

Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens x Black OC

(Unedited.)

Tuesday

January 10th 2005

Last night was the only night I'm allowing myself to cry over him and his 'return'. What good would it do me? No, I was gonna take Erik and whatever he had to throw at me by storm.

Waking up the next day, I feel refreshed. Like a brand new person with a more positive mindset. Today I had 3 classes and I'm determined to have a good Erik free day.

That whole Erik free thing went out the window as soon as I got to my first class.

Double O Computer Programming 1 was a junior class, however I'd taken it during the summer during my first year at UC Berkeley. DOCP 2 wouldn't be available until next semester but I needed to have a class since this was my first year on the actual campus. Thankfully Miss Hill really needed a T.A and the fact that I could help with an algorithm that tied into thermal nuclear astrophysics had her sold.

Right after I finished taking attendance, she barely got a word out before the door swung open revealing Erik as our late comer. I quickly glanced at the sheet in front of me, scanning for his name. I was so use to calling him N’dajaka when we were kids, I completely skipped over ‘Erik Stevens’. I huffed rolling my eyes, arms crossed over my chest. His timbs were the only thing heard shuffling across the room making hid way toward the front of the class. Wordlessly he handed Miss Hill before his eyes were on me. They scanned me from top to bottom, before locking with me a smug grin on his lips.

"Hey Lona," my jaw dropped.

Before I could get out a word, Miss Hill opened her mouth, looking up from the paper he handed her.

"Welcome Erik, sorry for the confusion."

"It's all good," he shrugged.

"Im Miss Hill, and I see you already know my aid. As I explained to the class prior to taking attendance, If I'm unavailable feel free to email or call her during the hours listed on the sheet." She is then took a sheet from me and handed him to me. "Other than that, find a seat."

He nodded pretending look over the sheet before averting his gaze back on me.

"I'm definitely gon do that."

Fuck my life right?

Well, Erik just so happened to be in the Calculus class I skipped two days ago. I thank God my record was squeaky clean and Mr. Kennedy accepted my poor excuse before I was quickly reminded the man upstairs has a sense of humor as the only available seat was next to Erik.

"The person next to you will be your partner for the remainder of the semester so let's take the next 15 minutes getting know one another hmm?." Mr. Kennedy instructed.

I couldn't suppress the groan that slipped as Erik casually leaned back in his chair, examining me.

"You heard the man, get to know me."

"I know all I need this know about you Erik."

"Oh so I'm Erik now? Like that?" He spoke cool, calm, and collected like our exchanged was normal.

I gripped my pencils tight, my knee bouncing up and down my body tense.

"Let me set things straight now. We don't need to talk to one another. If it doesn't have anything to do with any of the classes we take together, don't want to hear it. When you see me act like you don't know me. We clear?"

The expression on his face was unreadable before his lip twitched slight him responding.

"Crystal."

Wednesday

January 24th, 2005

It had been two weeks since Erik showed up here.

Ok that's a lie.

Apparently this man has been here. And to top it off, this mans name was in every bitch mouth like the second coming of Jesus Christ. From what I've observed though, he doesn't say much, or gives any of these broads much attention. He don't say much in general actually, he's really good at blending in. He got that laid back, mysterious, bad boy vibe going for him and these females out here hella into that.

But when he opens his mouth, that cocky bastard sure knows how to disrupt my entire soul at least while we're in class.

Outside of class though, he acts like I'm invisible.

It was like he never knew me. And honestly, I don't know how to feel about it. I know that's what I said I wanted but it bothers me just the same.

Today in particular though, he argued me down during our Calculus class. We had one problem to figure out before we could leave class today. You and your partner were supposed agree on the answer, and heaven forbid he just agree with me so we can get out of here. Math was always my subject when we were kids, nothing has changed. I was damn near about to say fuck it when he started laughing.

What in the entire fuck it so funny?" I was fuming.

"You," he shook his head. "You really hella mad."

"Um, YES!" I damn near shouted fed up. "You literally been tryna convince me it's 5 when it's-"

"Chill. I know the answer is 3 girl. C'mon, let's go." So smoothly he closed the book, grabbed his bag and headed to the front.

I was so upset, I had to let him do all the talking when it came to explain to the teacher I'll answer and how we got there. I know I open my mouth I wasn't going to say anything nice.

"Girl what crawled up your ass and died?" Donise questioned with a stank look as we sat at one of the benches outside of the library.

"Yeah What did Erik do now," I could hear teasing in Tatiana's tone so I flipped her off.

Only giving a brief explanation, I went on a mini rant about what happened in class 20 minutes ago. Donise's thought it was funny, while Tati just shook her head.

"I still can't believe it him," Tatianna glanced as a group of guys from across the quad headed our way, Erik included.

"Yes, and I wish it wasn't."

Tatianna was the first real friend I made in a while. I was actually tutoring her online for a while before she found out I was 4 years younger than her. Our friendship started off as a trade. I was her tutor and she both convinced and enrolled in a mentor program to help me with my social skills. I didn't speak to anyone much when Erik left, but I got into a lot of fights. According to the school counselor I was taking out my anger and abandonment issues on.I have meds to tame the anger, and while I haven't had to take them in a while Eric definitely bring that anger out of me.

"Girl that's just sexual tension. You got to fuck all that out." Ashley put in her unwanted two cents.

"Trust me when I tell you on God it isn't."

"Well if you out to holla, then trust and believe I will." She tossed her hair over her shoulder

I didn't really mess with Ashley like that, but she was Tati's frat sister which made them 'friends'. That little thot pocket will screw anything with legs, D, and a pulse and I'm not bout that life. Plus she messy as fuck and I don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

"I don't doubt it," I smirked as Donise said exactly what I was thinking.

Donise was coo' though, I meet her when I first got here 2 months ago. Believe It or not she was apart of the welcome comity for MIT and turned out her and Tatiana were already friends. Once she figured out  who I was, I was shot to the front line during registration and everything.

"Anyways, y'all going Ant and them party tomorrow?" Ashley questioned probably tryna bum a ride.

"What party?"

"The Que's," Donise answered. "The dudes with Erik are frat."

Now this was news to me. I met most of them before but I had no idea there were in a sorority. Examining them, I guess it all made sense. Most in the clique sported some sort of purple and yellow lanyard either around their neck or on their keychain that hung from their jean pocket as if  they wanted everybody to know who they were. Which I wouldn't doubt.

"Ladies! What we chattin about?" Moses questions every bit of his thick English accent tapering off every word.

"Our plans for mañana," Tati answered l

"Word. Y'all coming to the party tomorrow?" Jay spoke playing with a few strands of Donise's curls.

"Tomorrow? It's Thursday." I said confused. "Ain't there class the next day?"

"What's the matter, you can't hang?" I glared at Jay, knowing he was only chastising me because him and Erik were close, according to Tati.

I swear to God men gossip more than women do. Rolling my eyes I spared Erik a glance and he looked like he was waiting on me to respond.

"Oh, I can definitely hang."

I couldn't hang.

Around midnight I was  in the bathroom throwing up everything, damn near hug in the toilet as my surrounding looks so blurry and I can barely function. Im not sure when I'd finally finished, but I could feel someone picks me up and out the bathroom and soon everything goes blurry and then black.

Tag list: @kitesatforestp @xsweetdellzx @justgetitoverwith0 @letsshamelessqueen-m @cmkcolove @readingaddict1290

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the April 2021 Edition

I did not read Romeo and Juliet this month. I read a bunch of other books. Like, a bunch. More than one series. Because Big Bang burnout is real and grown adults missing their deadlines is a real good way to stress me out. So, I read a bunch. Good books, very bad books, books that caused limbs to flail. For positive and not-so-positive reasons. Naturally, all those reasons must be shared. Under the cut with occasionally long and rant-prone reviews, as well as spoilers. Beware of spoilers under the cut. Please keep telling me what to read, internet. My library wish list is almost comically long now.

GIVE ME ALL THE WORLD BUILDING AND SNARK AND FIGHTING! WITH MAGIC! AND SWORDS! IT’S MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

Shades of Magic Series by V.E. Schwab

Kell is one of the last Antari—magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black. After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. Now perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they'll first need to stay alive.

— Picture it, approximately twelve forty-seven am. My husband is asleep. I am reading. The second book in this series ends. And I say, right out loud, at what might now be twelve forty-eight am, HOLY SHIT IT JUST ENDED. Justin thought we were under attack. No man has ever snapped awake quicker. He was not pleased. At least not in the same way that I was about these books. Which I goddamn LOVED. Loved. The world building. The magic. The banter. Rhy and Kell’s relationship. Once more. RHY AND KELL’S RELATIONSHIP. Which I might have cared about more than the romance??? Maybe??? I cannot get over how good this world building was. I know people have quips with it, and that’s fair. I saw the “twist” coming in the first book, and I think trying to preserve that left some plot holes that are understandably frustrating. Because Lilah definitely needed depth perception to fight as well as she did. Also did Schwab really refer to her as a cross dresser in her author’s note? Yikes. She wore a dude’s jacket, like—c’mon V.E. Other than that though. I loved it. Also shout out to @peglegsjones for suggesting this one in my 2020 post and call out to me for taking so long to read it.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can't pull it off alone. . . . A convict with a thirst for revenge. A sharpshooter who can't walk away from a wager. A runaway with a privileged past. A spy known as the Wraith. A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums.  A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes.   Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. Kaz's crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don't kill each other first.

— I’ve talked about how little I cared about anything that happened in Shadow and Bone before, but I kept seeing gifs of the Crows in the Netflix show and my brain was like: huh, I could like them. So, after some help from the very helpful internet, I’m happy to report I do in fact like them. At one point, I slunk into the couch. Like that’s how overcome with emotion I was. Kaz ripped a dude’s eye out! For Inej! Matthias loved Nina’s laugh! I would like to hug Jesper. Seriously, this hit all my high points and world building and banter and I lol’ed at “scheming face.” I would like my hold to come through faster on the sequel.

THEY DID NOT CALL INTERMISSION HALFTIME AND MY COLLEGE EXPERIENCE WAS WAY DIFFERENT THAN THESE KIDS

The Off Campus Series by Elle Kennedy

Hannah Wells has finally found someone who turns her on. But while she might be confident in every other area of her life, she’s carting around a full set of baggage when it comes to sex and seduction. If she wants to get her crush’s attention, she’ll have to step out of her comfort zone and make him take notice…even if it means tutoring the annoying, childish, cocky captain of the hockey team in exchange for a pretend date. All Garrett Graham has ever wanted is to play professional hockey after graduation, but his plummeting GPA is threatening everything he’s worked so hard for. If helping a sarcastic brunette make another guy jealous will help him secure his position on the team, he’s all for it. But when one unexpected kiss leads to the wildest sex of both their lives, it doesn’t take long for Garrett to realize that pretend isn’t going to cut it. Now he just has to convince Hannah that the man she wants looks a lot like him.

— The first book in this series was free on Amazon. So, I read it. And really liked it??? It was so chock full of cliches and badly written tropes and Garrett probably should have accepted that Hannah didn’t want to go out at the start, but like—he was cute? And as we all know I am TRASH™ for stories set in the same verse, so, like, I just kept reading these trashy college hockey books. Trashy is a compliment here. God, these kids had so much sex. So much. An incredible amount, really. I once had a guy tell me he was physically attracted to me, but not emotionally attracted to me in college. Like, that was my college experience. The first and second books were the best, I think. I didn’t really like Dean that much.

MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS A RABBI???

The Intimacy Experiement by Rosie Danan

Naomi Grant has built her life around going against the grain. After the sex-positive start-up she cofounded becomes an international sensation, she wants to extend her educational platform to live lecturing. Unfortunately, despite her long list of qualifications, higher ed won't hire her. Ethan Cohen has recently received two honors: LA Mag nominated him as one of the city's hottest bachelors and he became rabbi of his own synagogue. Low on both funds and congregants, the executive board of Ethan's new shul hired him with the hopes that his nontraditional background will attract more millennials to the faith. They've given him three months to turn things around or else they'll close the doors of his synagogue for good. Naomi and Ethan join forces to host a buzzy seminar series on Modern Intimacy, the perfect solution to their problems--until they discover a new one--their growing attraction to each other. They've built the syllabus for love's latest experiment, but neither of them expected they'd be the ones putting it to the test.

— Ok, I know that sounds bad. Again, I’m a creature of predictable habit and this was the sequel to The Roommate, which I absolutely LOVED last year. But where as the relationship in that one was kind of swoony, this one was...I don’t know, really. Everyone was a well-rounded character and the plot was good, but there was this semi-invisible something that made it difficult for me to get fully on board with the whole story. Honestly, it might be because he was a religious figure?? Also, they got together real quick. Like zero to sixty in twenty-six seconds flat.

I KNOW IT’S BAD, IT WAS BAD AND YET—I CANNOT STOP READING IT???

Too Wild to Tame by Tessa Bailey

Sometimes you just can't resist playing with fire . . . By day, Aaron Clarkson suits up, shakes hands, and acts the perfect gentleman. But at night, behind bedroom doors, the tie comes off and the real Aaron comes out to play. Mixing business with pleasure got him fired, so Aaron knows that if he wants to work for the country's most powerful senator, he'll have to keep his eye on the prize. That's easier said than done when he meets the senator's daughter, who's wild, gorgeous, and 100 percent trouble. Grace Pendleton is the black sheep of her conservative family. Yet while Aaron's presence reminds her of a past she'd rather forget, something in his eyes keeps drawing her in. Maybe it's the way his voice turns her molten. Or maybe it's because deep down inside, the ultra-smooth, polished Aaron Clarkson might be more than even Grace can handle . . .

— Last month I read the first book in this series and it was absolutely ridiculous. This one even more so. The Clarksons are still on the road trip (sans one sibling because she fell in love in a week in the first book) and Aaron was, like, not a root’able character? Very Edward Cullen I’M A BAD GUY, BELLA vibes and his relationship with Grace was so strange. Super rushed again, obvs. Meeting in the woods is weird enough. Professing love forty-eight hours later is decidedly unbelievable. Also there was a kidnapping involved? I totally put a hold on the next book in the series.

COME UP WITH DIFFERENT TRAUMA, I DARE YOU! OR NO TRAUMA. WHAT A CONCEPT!!

The Trouble With Hating You by Sajni Patel

Liya Thakkar is a successful biochemical engineer, takeout enthusiast, and happily single woman. The moment she realizes her parents' latest dinner party is a setup with the man they want her to marry, she's out the back door in a flash. Imagine her surprise when the same guy shows up at her office a week later -- the new lawyer hired to save her struggling company. What's not surprising: he's not too thrilled to see her either after that humiliating fiasco.

Jay Shah looks good on paper...and off. Especially if you like that whole gorgeous, charming lawyer-in-a-good-suit thing. He's also infuriating. As their witty office banter turns into late-night chats, Liya starts to think he might be the one man who truly accepts her. But falling for each other means exposing their painful pasts. Will Liya keep running, or will she finally give love a real chance?

— I had such high hopes for this one. Which is on me, I guess. Because I didn’t hate this one, but it was...not great. Maybe I’m just getting old and crotchety but I am BEGGING romance writers to come up with different trauma for their female protagonists. Not every woman has to have been assaulted to rationalize their current personality. Doesn’t have to happen. Like, ok, yes it does happen. Far more than it should. But that’s an entirely different story, and I am so tired of female characters getting absolutely destroyed by their past only to have that be their defining characteristic for so much of the book. Until a nice man they were initially mean to shows up and he’s UNDERSTANDING and he CARES and it’s just, bleh. It’s bleh. Tired and predictable and I’m over it.

IN WHICH I SHOULD HAVE LOOKED AT THE COVER

Much Ado About You by Samantha Young

At thirty-three-years old Evangeline Starling’s life in Chicago is missing that special something. And when she’s passed over for promotion at work, Evie realizes she needs to make a change. Some time away to regain perspective might be just the thing. In a burst of impulsivity, she plans a holiday in a quaint English village. The holiday package comes with a temporary position at Much Ado About Books, the bookstore located beneath her rental apartment. There’s no better dream vacation for the bookish Evie, a life-long Shakespeare lover. Not only is Evie swept up in running the delightful store as soon as she arrives, she’s drawn into the lives, loves and drama of the friendly villagers. Including Roane Robson, the charismatic and sexy farmer who tempts Evie every day with his friendly flirtations. Evie is determined to keep him at bay because a holiday romance can only end in heartbreak, right? But Evie can’t deny their connection and longs to trust in her handsome farmer that their whirlwind romance could turn in to the forever kind of love.

— Ok, so I had had this book on hold for so long that I genuinely forgot about it and forgot who it was written by. Samantha Young wrote that one book that I called the worst book I had ever read. Only I did not realize that when I started reading this one. So, you see how this sets us up for disaster. Because this book was a disaster. Everyone was goddamn annoying. And whiny. Shit, everyone whined. About everything. Also, the actual writing was atrocious. I am not usually one to be like “men can’t write,” but at one point I told both @shireness-says and @optomisticgirl that this book must have been secretly written by a man because no woman writing it would be so obsessed with pointing out where her cellulite was. Like, what??? Also the first sex scene? Oh my God, I laughed. Guffawed. The so-called love interest literally asked: “Are we going to have sex now?” And then they just did. It was so bad. Also there was a dog? Who went everywhere with the so-called love interest. And they just never explained that? I thought it was going to be part of some crushing and depressing backstory. Nah, he was just there.

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS SO DUMB I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WAS A BOOK! A BOOK MEANT FOR YOUNG ADULTS! WHAT IS YOUNG ADULT???

The Queen’s Secret by Melissa de la Cruz

Lilac's birthright makes her the Queen of Renovia, and a forced marriage made her the Queen of Montrice. But being a ruler does not mean making the rules. For Lilac, taking the throne means giving up the opportunity to be with love of her life, the kingdom's assassin, Caledon Holt. Worse, Cale is forced to leave the castle when a horrific set of magical attacks threatens Lilac's sovereignty. Now Cal eand Lilac will have to battle dark forces separately, even though being together is the only thing that's ever saved them.

— Remember last month when I was like: can’t wait for my hold to come through on this sequel so I know what happens? What an idiot. THIS BOOK WAS SO DUMB I CANNOT BELIEVE IT WAS A BOOK. As always in my rage-induced rants, no apologies for spoilers because seriously do NOT read this, but Lilac (legit, that was her name) married some other dude but just kept fucking Cale??? Like she had a secret door? So he could come in and they could fuck?? I just—oh my God. So, all these things kept happening. Magic and bad stuff and horses were killed. Lilac’s mother was the absolute WORST. Honestly the most worthless character who at one point was like “well, my story is over, guess it’s time to leave,” and then just left?? Forced Lilac into a marriage of alliance and no love and then everything evil was defeated in point two four seconds. It happened so fast I wasn’t even sure it happened. So, then I’m like, ok, how are Lilac and Cale going to end up together? Because this is YA and that’s how it’s supposed to work. Only her being married and that marriage requiring an heir is something of a rather large hurdle. Don’t worry! Remember when Lilac and Cale were fucking? Everyone totally knew. Including the king Lilac is married to. Who is somehow like...ok with this? And tells Cale that Lilac is pregnant. ISN’T THAT WONDERFUL! Sure, because now they can lie and claim its the king’s heir. ONLY IT’S CALE’S KID! AND CALE IS COOL WITH THIS! His entire internal monologue during this is about how he realizes he might not ever be able to tell his kid he’s their father, but he’ll be around and that’s good. Wait, what??? But there’s more! Not only is Lilac having Cale’s kid, but the king she’s married to is in love with one of Cale’s spy associates. So the king and the spy are going to go hang out (and presumably have their own kids) at one castle and Lilac and Cale are going to go to another. Lilac and the king never get divorced or annulled or whatever. Everyone stays as is and married as is and—they all live happily ever after? This was presented as a good ending, I swear. What the shit, guys, seriously.

[raysofcrosby]

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 2

“𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘺, 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮-𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.” ━ 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚'𝐬 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐌𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: just some swearing nbd

word count: 6,964 [ oh my god i h8 myself lmao ]

authors note: happy halloween!!!! i’m actually hella shook that i managed to get this out so soon, but i was in a writing mood and voila, this came to be. idk what the hell any of the stars are gonna be for halloween, so i just made up a random group costume for a few of them that are mentioned. if you haven’t read part one, you can read it here! anyway, happy halloween, stay safe and enjoy!

"Where is that asshole?" Kennedy asked, adjusting her skirt as she stood in front of her body mirror. "I mean, it's not enough that he ruined our matching costumes by insisting you two match instead. But now he's going to make us late!"

You sigh and sit up from your bed, putting your phone beside you. "Trust me, I know. I was looking forward to rocking our sexy pirate costumes, too."

"We were supposed to look hot and you were going to be my wing-woman tonight." Kennedy dropped her hands by her side and turned to you. "Why does he even want to go? Doesn't he hate them? And is he not aware that they hate him too?"

"Apparently not, because he insisted he come along and that we match," you hopped off of your lofted dorm bed and bent down, opening your mini-fridge and grabbing a beer. "Plus, he hasn't even told me what we're going to be yet."

The annoyance with Cole had only heightened since Saturday's game. He had held your absence from Beta Ball over your head until two days ago when you mentioned Tyler's annual Halloween party was this week. It was on Halloween, the day before they were set to travel to Colorado– a stupid time to have a Halloween party, but the boys are grown and know their limits, so it was up to them not to get extremely trashed to where they'd miss the plane the next day and be hungover on the ice.

Kennedy is ranting on and on about Cole and her dislike from him, going as far to calling him some crude words that you hadn't know existed. You can't blame her though, she's your best friend and is just being protective of you. She's been your roommate since your freshman year at SMU, which also means she's seen your relationship with Cole from the very beginning. If there's anyone more protective of you than your older siblings and the few stars players, it was Kennedy.

"I mean, why don't you just end it already? It's not like you guys have been spot on or even spending time together," She continued, making her fishnets distressed. "He hasn't been blowing up your phone since Saturday, he completely ignored you at dinner the other night at the commons."

"I'm sure–"

"He ignored you, plain and simple. Plus, you two have been off and I think your relationship has officially run its course." She turned back to face the mirror and smiled at her costume. "I think that it's time you get to know some of the Stars on a more personal level other than 'yeah, I'll tape you up.' And maybe big brother can help!"

"Yeah right," you laughed, taking a long sip of your beer and then pointing the bottle at her to share it. "You and I both know Jamie wouldn't let me near their dating pool. He knows how they talk about girls and practically lives with them."

She walked over, taking the beer from you and taking a swig. "Okay, and?"

"And I highly doubt that he'd want to hear any of them talk about me in the locker room. He cringed when I said the word, breasts on Saturday."

"Hmph," she pouted, taking another swig before handing the beer back to you. "Stupid Jamie, cockblocking us from his hot teammates. It's just really rude and inconsiderate of him."

"I mean, you can go for one if you want. Just because we're not both dressed as super sexy twin pirates, doesn't mean I can't be your wing-woman."

She went to reply when a knock came from your door, causing the smile on her face to twist into an annoyed frown. "Satan's here."

You laugh and shake your head, making your way over to the door, opening it to see Cole standing there looking down at his phone and dressed in a tuxedo. "Oh uh wow," he looks up from his phone and nods at you as you stifle a laugh. "You look...sorry, you do know that we're going to a Halloween party...right?"

"Yep," he said, accentuating the 'p' and handing you the bag. "Your costume is in there." He walked past you and sat down on a footstool by your bed.

You closed the door and looked at Kennedy who turned her attention to Cole, giving him the stink eye before making a slicing motion across her neck. Cole was completely unaware, focused on his phone, which made her actions much more hilarious. "Well? Are you going to get ready?"

You bit your tongue, holding back a snarky reply that seemed to be more consistent which him as the week went on and just nodded, turning towards your bathroom and walking inside. "I'll help you!" Kennedy called out, immediately following you into your shared bathroom and closing the door. With no hesitation, she began playing music on her phone and turned it all the way up before placing her phone on the counter. "God, he is such a dick!"

You just nodded in agreement as you opened the bag, pulling out a bright red and fancy bodycon dress with no tags. You held it up and looked at Kennedy with raised eyebrows. "What the fuck is this for? It's the only thing in here."

Kennedy rolled her eyes and opened the bathroom door, peeping out into your room. "Hey, dipshit, what the fuck is this costume supposed to be?" You couldn't hear his reply over the music playing, only Kennedy's annoyed tone. "You know what? Just text me the picture." She closed the door and picked up her phone, unlocking it. "I swear I'm going to kill him."

"Why?" She looked up at you with raised eyebrows and you shook your head. "Besides the obvious reasons."

"This." Kennedy turned the phone towards you and you zoomed in on the image from Cole's message. Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to get a grasp on just what the hell his costume inspiration was.

"Are you serious?"

"If you want me to kill him, say the word. I plan to get my master's degree in Criminal Justice and I'll learn how to get rid of a body with no evidence."

You looked between the picture and the dress you were holding and sighed, shaking your head. "No, that's okay. But there's no way in hell I'm walking into that party with my makeup like that. I'll just...do it there, I guess."

❒❒❒❒

Tyler's party was crowded by the time your uber dropped us off and pretty much everyone who was invited had arrived before you, thanks to Cole for making you guys late. Saying a few quick hellos to the familiar faces you saw, the first thing you and Kennedy did was take over the downstairs guest bathroom so you could finish off your costume. After Cole explained what it was in the uber, your unsettling feeling never disappeared like you thought it would. Kennedy closed and locked the door behind her as you hopped up onto the bathroom counter. 

"Are you sure you want to do this? We can still turn this into a whole different costume. Maybe add some teasing, a poof and we can say that you're a pale version of Snooki!"

You sigh and nod your head. "I already feel bad for missing Beta Ball, so if this is gonna help him get over his pettiness then I'll do it. I'll just suck it up." You hopped off of the counter and held out your hand. "You got the stuff?"

"Your boyfriend is a grade A idiot and you're too good of a soul to agree to this costume choice." She pulled out a small bottle of Visine and handed it over. "I'm getting drinks and I'll be right outside the door."

You watched her walk out of the bathroom and locked the door behind her before returning to the counter. Staring at your reflection and then the Visine bottle on the counter, part of you couldn't believe that you were actually about to go through with this costume. After you got dressed at the dorm and your uber arrived, you confronted Cole about the costume choice.

Who the hell picks a couple costume based on the Bachelor...where the girlfriend is dressed as a losing contestant?

He brushed off your concern almost immediately and told you his reasoning as if he had practiced it like a script. You weren't just any random Bachelor themed season– you were Colton's season. He was Colton and you were Hannah B, this years' last Bachelorette. God, just hearing his excuse echo in your mind was enough to want to rip your hair out.

"Babe, Hannah B  is the most popular Bachelorette and Colton turned her away! This is just our take on it. It'll be a hit, I swear!"

And when you complained about having to make yourself look like a crying mess by running mascara down your cheeks with Visine?

"Think about the after! Hannah B had a popular season and she's like, the hottest Bachelorette. Next year, we can do something like that!"

The only thing that made his excuses worse and his logic flawed...was the dress. Hannah B was wearing an elegant gown and didn't make her look like a dime and a dollar hooker. Not to mention that she didn't even cry on camera when Colton sent her home. But the guilt of missing out of his party was the one thing that kept bringing you back to an agreement. This party was only for a couple of hours and once you took a few shots to the face, you wouldn't even care about how your make-up looked.

You picked up the Visine bottle and squeezed a few drops into each eye, using a folded piece of toilet paper to help shape the mascara stains that were rolling down your cheeks. You were supposed to look like a disheveled, heartbroken Bachelor contestant, but you'll be damned if you don't look at least a little bit controlled. A knock came from the door just as you finished up. "Hold on, I'll be out in a second!"

You stood back to admire your crying marks and shook your head before tossing the napkin away and stuffing the bottle of Visine into your bra. "I look like a rabid raccoon, Kennedy," you said, making your way towards the door and unlocking it. "Cole is so lucky that I put up with this shit –"

When you opened the door, a tipsy Jamie was leaning in the doorway, his attention down the hall. "Oh shit, sorry," he apologized, turning towards you and immediately taking in your costume, confusion written all over his face. "Wow Y/N, you look like shit."

"Wow, okay thanks Jamie," you said, ducking beneath his arm and out into the hallway. "You see your sister with tear-stained cheeks and that's what you say?" You were being full-on sarcastic with your brother and trying your best to hide back your smile.

He shook his head as if to snap him out of his thoughts and took in your mascara stained cheeks again. "Oh shit, are you okay? What happened? Did someone hurt you? What did Frat douche do?"

Getting the reaction you desired, you smiled and patted his chest. "It's part of the costume big brother, no worries. But it's nice to see where your loyalties lie."

Just as you went to turn around, Kennedy came walking up with two solo cups in her hands, passing you one of them. "Hi Jamie, where are the rest of the Average Joes?"

You turned to your brother, taking a sip of the drink Kennedy had made you– vodka cranberry– and took in your brother's appearance for the first time. He was wearing an Average Joe's uniform from the movie Dodgeball, only his shorts were a little bit too short and a little bit too tight. "Yuck, I never want to see that much leg from you ever again, Chubbs."

"You're just jealous my hammies are better than yours," He smiled, before nodding his head down the hall. "Segs, Rad and Big Rig are in the living room somewhere." He walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

"Let's party hard?" Kennedy smiled, holding her cup up.

"Please and thank you," you sighed, clinking your cup to hers before the two of you took a sip.

The bathroom door opened a few seconds later, Jamie peeking his head out into the hall. "One more thing, have fun and get drunk, but please don't get too drunk because mom would kill me and I don't want her and dad to threaten to fly down here because you decided to get alcohol poisoning." He pointed at Kennedy, giving her the same look. "You too Kennedy. I don't know your mom, but I'm sure she'd kick my ass too." And then he disappeared back into the bathroom.

You and Kennedy shared a look before bursting into laughter. "Come on, let's mingle and find my hot hockey hunk." She smiled, looping her arm through yours and leading you down the hall.

Tyler had moved to a new house sometime this summer, so you haven't been able to check it out yet since your dog sitting duties were not yet needed. It was a nice house, one that many professional athletes would love to spend their money on. You liked his last house, but this one sure was an amazing upgrade. As Kennedy navigated you guys back towards the life of party, you took in the guests around you. The entire Stars roster was present and all in costumes. A few chose to match with their significant others, some went solo on a costume choice and there were a few grouped ones. Also in attendance...a lot of girls, some of them WAGs, whom you knew, but the rest you didn't know. It was hard to keep track of who was here since people were constantly moving between the dance floor, the bar/kitchen, beer pong and the few who decided to wander out to the pool patio. It wasn't a surprise though, Tyler knew a lot of people in the Dallas area. Over the last few years, you and Kennedy made it a habit to try and pick who the two of you thought was Tyler's current hook-up, a fun game where you never really found out the answer. But suddenly, the idea of playing that game tonight didn't seem all too appealing.

A burly figure bumped into you, separating your arm from Kennedy's. "Oh shit, I'm sorry," Big Rig looked down at you and laughed. "Did someone splash their drink on your face? Why is it all runny?"

"Oh no, that's her costume, Jamie," Kennedy laughed, taking a sip of her drink. "Doucheface decided they'd be Colton and Hannah B from the Bachelor."

He checked out your costume, his eyes lingering for a few seconds before doing his damndest to hide his smile and looking towards Kennedy. "Um...okay."

"Alright, alright enough. If you excuse me, I'm going to go find my doucheface." You said, taking a long sip and turning to look towards the dance floor.

"Nope! Klinger and I need two more people to play beer pong, and if I can count as good as I think I can," He took another sip and eyed you and Kennedy. "Then I think we've got our two people."

Kennedy looked at you with a smile and you sighed, looking out into the crowd of people and not seeing Cole anywhere. "Alright, I'm in."

"Yes! You're so going down." He smiled, standing at an end of the table as Kennedy traveled down to go stand beside Klinger.

"Alright pretty boy, let's see what you got."

❒❒❒❒

"WOOHOO!" You cheered, your arms up in a V as you turned to Big Rig with a mega-watt smile. "Winner, us. Losers...you two."

He rolled his eyes and laughed, tugging your arms down. "You guys so cheated! Using your..." He waved his hand at his chest area, "distraction techniques."

"Alls fair in pong and war, baby," Kennedy winked, taking a sip of her drink.

Jamie continues the banter as you look off and see Cole standing towards the front foyer and talking to Radulov, Dickinson, Pavelski, and Heiskanen. You couldn't believe that some of the players were talking to him. You turned back to Big Rig and Kennedy. "Well, this was a blast but I see Cole and I should probably spend some time with my boyfriend."

They both nodded as I started to walk away. "Didn't Hannah B like...lose the Bachelor? Not that I know...I mean, my sister watches it." Jamie said, no doubt talking to Kennedy.

"Yeah, but Cole is a douche canoe who's tiny brain doesn't comprehend that," she giggled in reply, making you smile and making a mental note to yourself to try and get them together.

As you navigated the crowd and walked over to the group, Rads was the first to see you and he smiled. "Y/N!" He broke off and hugged you, not commenting on your make-up.

"Hey boys," you smiled, going around and giving them all hugs before settling beside Cole.

"There's our favorite trainer in training," Pavelski smiled, raising his cup to you.

"We missed you," Dickinson added, looking over at Cole.

You could feel Cole tense after Dickinson said that and your eyes followed his cup as he brought it up to his lips again and again. "Yeah sorry, I was too busy annihilating Big Rig and Klinger in beer pong.

"Can you teach me how to beat them? I've never been able to win and I've already lost out on $200 and had to wear this stupid diaper and baby bonnet." Heiskanen mumbled, motioning towards his adult-sized diaper and big binky hanging around his neck.

You laughed and nodded, taking a sip of your drink. "Sure thing, we'll team up against them later tonight, okay?"

No sooner than you agreed to help Miro, Cole snatched his arm from yours and left the group, disappearing into the crowd. Your eyes went wide and you could feel the heat of embarrassment warm along your cheeks. The first person you made eye contact with, was Miro who soon after was sending death glares at the back of Cole's head. Your eyes moved along the group, seeing the same thing. At first, they'd look at you in concern before turning their attention to the direction Cole left in in anger.

You cleared your throat and kept your head down. "I'll see you guys later." 

Before they could reply, you walked away from their group and over towards the bar in which Cole was just now leaving after refilling his cup. You followed steps behind him as he walked out to the patio and by the time you had reached the outer door, the few people who were already outside were starting to come in. Cole was standing at the end of the pool, furthest away from the door. He took a long sip of his drink before kicking a beach ball off of the deck and into the pool water. 

"What'd that ball ever do to you?" You asked jokingly,  met with anger filled eyes when he turned towards you and then back around.

"Are you into him?" He asked, keeping his back to you as you walked over.

His question practically stops you in your tracks. Your mind, almost immediately, wanders to if he was referring to the chirping he had overheard between you and Tyler during his phone call. "Who is 'him'?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me. Are you into him?"

"I'm not playing dumb, Cole! I don't know who you're talking about?" You laughed, shaking your head. "I mean, I don't know if you've noticed, but there's about 45 some 'hims' you could be talking about!"

This time, Cole laughed in disbelief and shook his head as he brought his cup to his lips. "Such a slut thing to say, Y/N."

Your eyes widened in shock and you almost took a step back at his words. It only took a few moments before the anger mixed with alcohol started to flow through your veins at the fact that he just called you a slut. "Excuse me? Try not letting your fragile masculinity get in the way of the clarity of your question, Cole." You said his name in spite, something he took notice of since it caused him to face you.

He stomps towards you before coming to an immediate stop in front of you. "Oleksiak. Are you into him?" He sneered, taking advantage of his height difference over you.

You couldn't help but laugh at who he was asking about, but felt relieved that he wasn't talking about Tyler. "Teddy Bear? No, I'm not into him. We're just friends."

"Oh, so if I were to find a girl to play beer pong with and was all over her like you were him, then I'd get a pass?"

You had to shake your head in disbelief at his question. He was truly serious and upset about you playing beer pong with Big Rig. His drunken brain has his emotions at an all-time high over this. "Oh my God, I wasn't all over him! It's called trying to distract and win, Cole. You and your frat brothers pants each other and whip out our dicks, for Godsake."

His sneer was pasted on his face permanently as he took another long sip of his drink. You sighed and crossed your arms. "I think you should stop drinking, Cole. You know what...we should just go."

He completely ignored you, taking another sip of his drink. "You know what? I think I'm in the mood to play some beer pong and make some new friends."

"Okay, now you're just being petty."

"How is that petty? We're just friends!" He mocked, using air quotes before brushing by you to go back into the house. "I think I'm going to go find some girl to play beer pong with, maybe a Cassie. Is there a Cassie here?"

You ran your tongue along the inside of your cheek before huffing at his subtle dig. He only took a few steps and you walked after him, "why are you being such a di–"

When he whipped around to face you, his drink collided with yours, spilling both completely all over the front of your dress. "Damn it, Y/N! You ruined the dress!"

"It's not my fault, you bumped into me!" You argued back, looking down at the stain. "I'll get it dry-cleaned, okay?"

"Well, it's all over me too!" His voice raised as he patted at his tux. His eyes looked at the dress and went wide in fear before darkening again. "It's not even your dress, I borrowed it from Pat's girlfriend so you better get it cleaned." He shook his hands out before turning around and storming back into the house.

"I just said that you asshole," you mumbled, looking up from the dress to see two girls sitting at the far edge of the pool, staring. "Happy Halloween, I hope you enjoyed the show!"

The two girls tore their gaze away from you and scurried back inside to the party. You looked around the pool area to see that you were now the only one outside. You looked back towards the party and then back at your dress before sitting down at the edge of the pool and dipping your legs into the water. You'd rather stay out here by yourself than have to avoid the stares and risk running into Cole again. The humidity had managed to die down, not by a whole lot, but by enough to where sitting outside was more comfortable than dancing around in the big group inside.

"Let me guess. It's your party and you'll cry if you want to?"

You smiled to yourself, keeping your back to the voice. "Last time I checked, it was your party, Seguin." You turned around to look at him and his eyes immediately went wide as he took in your appearance, but being kind, he tried to hide it. "I know, I'm hideous." You added, turning back to the water.

Tyler walked up beside you and squatted down to your level. "Uh no, but...are you okay? Why were you crying? Was it benchwarmer?" He paused, looking at your twiddling thumbs before sighing. "What did he do?"

He started to stand up and you reached back, grabbing his hand and stopping him, "don't!" You can see the genuine concern in his eyes mixed with the kind of anger you've seen Jamie and Jordie get in their eyes whenever they got protective over you. "Don't okay? He's just...he's drunk and when he's drunk he's stupid."

"I mean, I think he's stupid when he's sober too, but okay sure, let's go with that excuse."

You didn't roll your eyes at Tyler for once, because you knew that he was right. Instead, you let go of his hand and bring your hand back into your lap, sighing. "Why are you out here? Why aren't you boozing it up with your teammates and their hookups?"

"Because I saw benchwarmer downing a shot, Kennedy with Big Rig and she said she last saw you with him." He took a sip of his drink, looking down at the cup. "Thank God I didn't have to speak to him before I overheard Hailee and Taylor talking about 'poor girl, her boyfriends a dick.' And I used my big brain and put two and two together," he took another drink. "It was quite simple really."

The two of you sat together, Tyler still squatting down beside you as you guys took in the night sky.  You snuck a look at him and you weren't sure if you imagined it or not, but you thought that you had caught him looking away from you. It must have been a twitch or something because when you fully looked, he was looking up at the stars. You looked at your drink and took a sip, looking out of the corner of your eye to see him quickly looking away from you and down at his drink.

"You know you can sit down, right?"

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows, looking down to realize that he was still squatting and then laughing before shaking his head. "No need, I'm a hockey player. I mean, have you seen my legs? I've got quads and hamstrings made of pure steel." He finished off his drink and smirked. "Buns of steel too. I get quite a few compliments on that during warmups from the ladies."

You smiled, raising an eyebrow before leaning back and taking a good look at his butt. "Eh, I've seen better."

He scoffs, bringing a hand to his chest and standing up. "I'm going to pretend like that didn't just hurt my feelings and go inside and get another drink. Want one?"

You groan and nodded. "At this point, I'll take ten shots to the face."

He just laughed and grabbed your hand, helping you up and walking you to the patio. As soon as you guys got under the light, he stopped you from walking inside. "Jesus Y/N, are you that drunk to where you spilled your drink on yourself?"

"Oh uh, no that was Cole. I went after him, he spun around and...splash. Guess I'll just stay sticky the whole night." You can see how badly he wants to make a smart comment, but he held it back anyway, probably more focused on the fact that Cole spilled his drink on you. "Don't worry about it Tyler, it's fine."

"Nope, come on."

He held onto your hand, leading you through the crowd and his new house, walking down the hall and coming into a bedroom. He dropped your hand once you came to a stop in front of the closet door, opening it and turning on the light. "This is kind of a lost and found from previous parties and uh..." He looks embarrassed as he rubs the back of his neck, though you weren't sure why since his conquests weren't exactly secret. "Guests."

"Oh no, no way! I am not wearing your hook-ups leftovers!"

Tyler sighed, turning off the light and closing the door. "I figured that, but there was no harm in the offering."

The two of you walked out of the guest room and you followed him upstairs, not even caring what people would think if they saw the two of you. "Where are you leading me now, Seguin? Your sex dungeon?" You laughed, only to realize just how embarrassing your question was.

When you reached the top of the stairs, Tyler turned towards you with a smile. "No, no sex dungeon. Though that does sound like it'd be a good investment. I'll have to think about that for an addition."

He opens a door on the left and walks in, turning on the lights before nodding at you to follow him inside. When you do, he waves you over towards the bed. "Sit, stand, do whatever makes you comfortable. I'll be bright back."

You nod as he walks off into one of his two walk-in closets and look towards his bed. You raised your eyebrows that moment your eyes caught glimpse of a pair of pinky bunny ears that were resting on his bedside table. "Do I even want to know why you have a pair of bunny ears, Seguin?" You asked, picking them up.

"Oh yeah, you know what? Candy, the girl I met at One Night Stand, she might have left those here the other night. Real freaky girl, she wore them the entire time."

You jumped, tossing the ears onto his bed and frantically wiped your hands against your dress just as Tyler walked out of the closet, laughing his ass off. "Why are you laughing? I touched those!"

"I'm laughing because I was lying, Y/N." He picked them up and put them back onto your head, smiling. "They were part of my costume last weekend. No bunny business was done wearing those and they didn't touch anyone's body except for mine, okay?"

You nodded as he placed a whole bunch of jerseys onto the bed. "So what exactly are we doing here?"

He smiled like a child and motioned towards the jerseys. "Finding you a new costume since yours is..." he grimaced at it before shaking his head. "I'm sorry, what are you even supposed to be?"

You just groaned and shook your head as he fumbled with taking some of the things off their hangers. "So apparently we're supposed to be Colton Underwood and Hannah Brown..."

He stopped, giving you a blank stare. "Didn't she...lose on that show? Like, isn't he engaged to some other girl?"

"Cassie Randolph, yeah exactly! And when I mentioned that, he went on some rant about how she's the most popular Bachelorette and blah blah blah, and her season ended with her breaking up an engagement because Jed was cheating!"

Tyler just laughed and nodded along, keeping his attention on the clothes in front of him, picking up a pair of black spandex and tossing them to you. He must have seen the panicked look in your eyes because he immediately shook his head. "They're Cassidy's. She left them behind the last time she came to visit. You guys are about the same size and that's the only valid pair of bottoms I have unless you want to go as risky business in my boxers and a button-up?" You felt self-conscious as his eyes traveled up and down your legs before he catches himself in the act and clears his throat. "Which you could pull off...only if you want to."

"Do I have any other options?"

"I don't know if you'll necessarily like it, but uh..." he pulled up a Stars jersey of his and then he eyed the bunny ears on your head.

"A puck bunny?! Are you–"

"Or a cleat chaser!" He quickly added, holding up a specialty Texas Rangers jersey. "If you wear this one!"

"What kind of costume choices are these, Tyler?"

"The kind that a 27-year-old man's closet has to offer! I'm sorry I don't wear club dresses, they're not my style."

You sigh and weighed your options. You could either go with the spandex, a Tyler related jersey and bunny ears, or you could wear a pair of his boxers and a dress shirt. You reached down and grabbed his Stars jersey, walking into his bathroom and peaking back out, taking the bunny ears off of your head and tossing them at him, as he laughed. "I'm not wearing the ears."

You closed the door behind you and unzipped your dress from the side, letting it slide off of your body. When you picked it up from the floor, you noticed just how clean and organized his bathroom was. Yeah, there was no way that Tyler picked out these decorations by himself. He either hired a professional or Jackie helped him pick out some things. You hung your dress over the side of his bathtub, before turning back towards the door. "Do you have any washcloths in here?"

"In the drawers by the sink!"

You looked over at the sink and slumped down, your eyes trailing down all four drawers. "Tyler, there are four drawers."

"Uh, I don't know! Second or third maybe?"

"Please don't let me find anything gross, please." You whispered, closing your eyes and tugging on the second drawer. When you opened your eyes, you looked to see a bunch of bottles. You picked one up and read the label.

Invati scalp revitalizer.

It was hair thickener. "Ha, I knew there was no way that he hasn't started balding yet," you laughed, putting it down and picking it up to see that it was jock powder. You dropped it back down and closed the drawer.

"Are you okay? Do you need help or-"

You opened the third drawer and found a stack of washcloths. "Nope! Nope, I'm good I found one!"

It was disappointing having to pretty much wipe off all of your foundation just to get off the mascara stains from your cheeks. Not only were you now in an unplanned costume but now you had to go around the rest of the party with nothing but the mascara and rest of your eye make-up that you were determined to keep. Sliding on the spandex, which fit perfectly, you pulled Tyler's jersey over your head and let it hang down to mid-thigh level. It didn't look right in your reflection, so you just tucked the front into your spandex and nodded in approval. You walked out of his bathroom and raised your arms halfway before letting them drop. "I look ridiculous."

"I don't know if I should be offended because that's my jersey or if I should agree."

"I mean, what am I even supposed to be Tyler? I'm wearing heels for Godsake!"

He looked down at your feet and nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. "Yeah, you've got a point there and your feet are way too small for any of my shoes."

"Any chance either of your sisters left an extra pair of shoes?" Tyler shook his head and you sighed. "Yeah, I didn't think so." Tyler was now wearing the bunny ears on his head and you knew what would make the costume make sense. You groaned and reached up at his head, grabbing the ears. "If you make any kind of joke, I'm leaving this party and you're never seeing this jersey again."

As you put the ears on your head, Tyler stepped back and took you in, smiling and nodding his head. "Alright, there's your new costume. You're my fan!"

You rolled your eyes and bumped into his shoulder as you walked towards his door. "Well, it's a lot better than being the seventh runner-up from the Bachelor." As the two of you walked into the hall, you stopped and turned around. "I meant to ask you, how did you even know? Do you watch The Bachelor?"

Tyler shut his bedroom door, ignoring your answer. "Ha! You do! You do watch it!"

"My sisters love it and besides, Tom Wilson watches it."

"Huh, I guess I learn something new about you every day. What else don't I know?" You asked as the two of you started walking down the hallway.

"I guess you better stick around and find out, huh?" He smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

A drunken Jamie trudges up the stairs, coming to a halt and holding onto the stair railing before pointing to you. "That's not what you were wearing."

"Cole spilled his drink on her, so I thought I'd help her out," Tyler replied quickly,  not even giving you enough time to start panicking.

Jamie looked at the two of you and walked over, plucking at your jersey and then the bunny ears. You could feel your panicked nerves practically start to swallow your body whole, unsure if your brother was sober enough to understand just what your costume was. When his eyes finally move on from the jersey and focus on the ears, he let out a belly laugh. "Ha! I get it! Well, this costume is a lot better than your last one."

He stumbled a little more, placing a hand on both yours and Tyler's shoulders. "You're lucky Seggy likes you enough to wear that jersey."

"What? Why? It's just a jersey," You look between Tyler and Jamie. "Isn't it?"

"Pffffft!" Jamie said dramatically. "This is the jersey he wore when he reached 500 career points. Y/N! Duh!" He turned to Tyler, "I thought you boxed it, man!"

Tyler was too busy fighting off his redding cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I haven't gotten to it yet."

You looked down at the jersey you were wearing, shocked that Tyler even considered it as an option at all. Part of you didn't want to move, afraid that if you did, you'd somewhere mess it up and upset Tyler. You had to take it off, there's no way you could wear it for the rest of the night.

Jamie patted Tyler's shoulder and smiled at him. "You're such a good brother man," he wrapped him up in a one-armed hug. "To me and Y/N."

His comment makes your stomach sink and not in a good way, and suddenly you find yourself resenting feeling that way and resenting Jamie for making the comment. Tyler too is silent before he coughs and sighs. "Yeah, brother..." His eyes graze over you faintly as Jamie pulls away from his hug.

He pats both of their shoulders again and sighs. "I love you guys...I need to pee."

Jamie walked in between the two of you and off into Tyler's bedroom, closing the door behind him. Both of you stood there in awkward silence, surely both unable to think of what to say. "Well...that was awkward."

You looked at him, crossing your arms. "What? My brother loving my puck bunny costume or the fact that he saw us coming out of your room and made it a point to say you're like a brother to me?"

Tyler was still nervous as he bit the inside of his cheek again and shrugged his shoulder and shook his head, unsure. "I mean, it's my jersey so I think the costume is cool."

"...So it's the comment then?" Looking at him, you took a dramatic gasp for breath and looked at him. "Seguin...do you have a crush on me?"

Tyler, instead of answering you, goes to take a sip, only to realize that his drink was empty. He looked into the empty cup and no sooner than you started to laugh, he turned his gaze to you. "What if I do?"

The last laugh was stuck in your throat as your brain forgot how to instruct your body to breathe. You stared at him, trying to read the expression in his eyes and seeing if you could find any tells that he was lying. Instead, you find absolutely nothing.  You opened your mouth to reply when Tyler's bedroom door opened up and Jamie walked out, looking at the two of you and then looked back down at his phone. "Oh, you're still here, great." He walks up and puts a hand on your shoulder. "Craig had a family thing come up, so Dave told me to tell you that you're coming to Colorado with us tomorrow."

No sooner than he finished his sentence, Jamie walked back down the stairs, leaving you and Tyler with not even a goodbye. Your jaw had dropped slightly at the surprising news. You were only a trainer in training, not even an official or real trainer! You've never even traveled with the team before! And how the fuck were you supposed to pack your bags when you'll no doubt be drunk by the time you reach your dorm. What if you forgot to pack something?

Tyler tugged on your bunny ears, pulling them down in front of your eyes and knocking you out of your thoughts to see he had already started walking down the stairs. "Hey, I’ll save you the seat next to me on the plane."

[sinfulxlusts]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the old and the new

For each “⭐️” I get, I’ll write a headcanon about our muses. 

You making me dig into muses i haven’t used in like a year but okay here we go

Daniel & Kat 

Daniel definitely partially hired Kat because she’s hot as hell but he’ll deny it with his dying breath and say it’s 100% because of how good she is with his daughter.

Sophie & Julian 

Sophie might in part, have befriended his sister, because she’d seen the two together and well.... The girl is a bit superficial and definitely wanted to get close to him. Even if she’d never admit it. 

Bailey & Nick

Bailey has a secret desire of watching Nick dress up in all tight black jeans, leather jacket and a tank top, all Danny Zuko style

she’ll never recover regarding the fact that she fucked her boss’ son without knowing he was her son. 

Caitlin & Adrian

While Caitlin would never admit to liking the fact that he’s a bit of a bad boy compared to her, she finds it a thrilling contrast to her own calm life. Going from teaching kids and taking care of them all day, to coming home and never knowing what is going on with her neighbor, is exciting. 

Carolina & Lola

Caro is an oblivious angel, but even so, she’s definitely gotten off to naughty ideas of Lola late at night. 

Michaela & Zahara 

Is Zahara actually was curious about it, there’s definitely traces on Michaela’s twitter, and in some interviews, about how much of a crush she has had on the other, and she is petrified she’ll find it out. 

William & Elena

He feels like an old crook trying to ruin a little babe, but he’s also so very much excited about the day she agrees to getting her skin all inked up rather than just having marks of his hands/toys. 

Irene & Eric

She’ll forever hold a grudge against him for making her have to rethink her sexuality YET ANOTHER TIME. God damn it Eric, SHE WAS DATING YOUR SISTER. 

Sam & Kennedy 

He longs for the day where she’ll stop assuming he wants her dead more or less. He’s also glaring at Christopher for getting a nicer Kennedy than he does.

Aiden & Mercia

Seeing her whenever she’s feeling awful, and knowing there’s very little he can do, breaks his heart, and there are days where he wonders why he should even bother trying to be a doctor, when he can’t even help one of the people that matters the most to him.

Franco & Victoria

Victoria can be just as possessive and as selfish as he can at times, and whenever he gets really personal things in the mail, like when some fangirl sent her used panties to  him, she gets absolutely furious. And have made like 30 different notes on her phone of rants about it, before she deletes it because she can’t be arsed to deal with the backlash from it. 

She does want him to join her for morning yoga but she definitely suspects he’s going to laugh if she suggests it, so she doesn’t.

There’s definitely a question of who has more beauty products in the bathroom, and half the time it’s definitely a question of it the products belong to Victoria or Franco. 

Angel & Lavinia 

At the start of their relationship, Angel was definitely a very affectionate girl and almost over-exaggerating with everything. She never actually expected Lavinia to want to be around her for longer than a few dates.

Christopher & Kennedy

He has more than a few times wondered how beautiful she’d look if she got hung up on a St. Andrew’s Cross, with a red ballgag in between her lips, a vibrator on her, and just the sweet sound of her muffled moans coming. 

Charlie & Minnie

No matter how many times he claims he’s done with her, no matter how many times he tries to get rid of her, she’ll forever be his poison that he can’t escape, and no matter how much it’ll kill his soul, he’ll never manage to leave her fully. 

Venus & Dina 

Oh BROTP that’ll never end. Venus would absolutely commit murder if anyone tried to harm Dina, but she’d also never forgive Dina if she were to abandon her for any reason. 

Sophie & Elias

Part of why she is so attracted to the damn demon, is exactly because he’s *everything* she’s supposed to not be attracted to, and she finds the forbidden part of it so attractive. 

Teal & Elara

Teal would definitely not be the first to admit any kind of feelings, as even though she totally is game for getting with the former student, she still is a bit afraid of the fact that Elara is human, and one day she might end up seeing her wither away. 

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 7x15 Get It Done

aka it’s not enough

We did it, guys! We made it to the last season! Also, hello if you’re new, and stumbled upon this without context. As usual, these impromptu text posts are the product of my fevered mind as I rant about the episode I just watched for an hour (okay, sometimes perhaps two). Anything goes!

And today’s episode really got me back on the right track for season 7, but I’m also still trying to figure out how to talk about what happened here.

I’m not sure what it is about Get It Done, compared to some of our earlier, plot-heavy episodes in the season that makes me get back on board with things. Maybe it’s really just my attitude that changed somewhere along the way...

…or maybe it’s the fact that we’re following Buffy’s perspective in a way that some of those other episodes failed to do so.

And this episode in particular desperately needs that. Buffy is harsh, flawed, and yes, outright unlikable in some scenes. But you understand her. You understand her frustrations and the pressure she’s under, and if you’re anything like me, only connect to her more through those failings.

I love the opening of the episode in particular, with Buffy taking a tour around the house at night, checking on all the girls. A comforting act on its own, and yet the soundtrack clues us in that there’s also something ominous going on. If you happen to rewatch the scene, be sure to take note of those chiming sounds, signaling that it’s all a dream – and how they continue on even after Buffy wakes up, showing that it’s something that stayed with her.

Buffy also sees Chloe crying in her dream, but before she can help her, the First Slayer attacks, and warns her.

FIRST SLAYER:  “It’s not enough.”

A fun way to open your episode, for sure.

You can see that this is something that’s on Buffy’s mind, as she’s giving Robin the tour of the house. She even makes a comment about how she almost wishes someone would piss Willow off so she would use her powers. But she doesn’t actually tell her that. Yet.

The turning point of the episode of course is Chloe’s suicide.

Buffy’s speech here is… Is controversial even the right word for it? She’s wrong. But she feels responsible and powerless. Like nothing they do is enough. Like nothing she does is enough.

BUFFY:  “Anyone want to say a few words about Chloe? Let me. Chloe was an idiot. Chloe was stupid. She was weak. And anyone in a rush to be the next dead body I bury, it’s easy. Just… think of Chloe, and do what she did. And I’ll find room for you next to her and Annabelle. I’m the slayer. The one with the power. And the First has me using that power to dig our graves. I’ve been carrying you, all of you, too far, too long. Ride’s over.”

It’s a hard scene to watch. Not just for Buffy, but even some of the other characters.

Like, when Kennedy calls her out for going way out of line? I can’t argue with that. But she was also the one who called Chloe a maggot a few scenes back, when she was playing drill sergeant with all the other Potentials. She’s certainly not to blame for what happened, but I feel like the writers missed an opportunity here to flesh out Kennedy’s character more by letting her be a bit more introspective about that. But oh well.

Instead she points out that Buffy isn’t even the one with the most power in the room, which… I alluded to this discussion earlier, about how Willow is pretty fucking overpowered once you think about it. But Buffy’s right here. Power isn’t about having the potential or the raw strength. You also have to know that you have the power, know how to use it, and, most importantly, use it. Which Willow hasn’t been doing lately.

Willow doesn’t argue, much like in Selfless… but Xander does? Much like in Selfless, I guess?

And listen, as I said, Buffy’s wrong here. So I’m glad that the others push back. They should.

But I don’t think anyone quite understands why she’s doing it. Why she’s asking them to do more. Why she’s putting that onus on them.

So Xander pointing out that they’ve been waiting for Buffy, because Buffy told them to, because she’s their leader? Not super helpful. It almost plays into this good old pattern of the Scoobies putting all the pressure on Buffy to take that role of the leader, and then turning it around on her.

She’s aware that she’s been telling them that she’s the one in charge. That she’d handle it. But it’s not enough.

So instead she tells them to do more. To go over their limits. She also specifically tells Spike that she needs him to be the killer he used to be.

This creates a parallel narrative between Spike, Willow and Buffy about doing whatever it takes.

My issue with this parallel though is that in Spike’s case, there isn’t really any consequence for him. Sure, him donning the old jacket pisses Robin off, and confirms to him that he was the one who killed his mom, but he already knew that. Plus, we know who that storyline is gonna favor by the end anyway…

Otherwise, Spike going back to his old ways of aggression is framed as good. He gets the job done. No one but the demon he was supposed to kill gets hurt.

Meanwhile, for Willow and Buffy there’s a price for becoming more powerful.

Willow ends up taking one of those good old magical shortcuts, draining Kennedy and Anya’s life force a bit to create the portal. Because that’s what it takes. And it may cost her her new relationship. (For now, at least.)

Buffy on the other hand, would have to become more of a demon in order to become more powerful. She rejects it – which is rather hypocritical of her, when you think about. Something that I wish they would’ve addressed in that last scene between Buffy and Willow, but I guess that would’ve been too much of a honest conversation. We can’t have that if we need Buffy alone by the end of the season.

In the end, Buffy’s story ends on a note that rejecting the power might have the worst consequence of all in the future. Because the power they have now? It’s not enough for what they face.

All in all, I like these storylines for Willow and Buffy, but I hate the framing of it when we add Spike’s violence tour. It really wouldn’t have taken much to fix it – have Spike accidentally hurt someone while fighting the demon for instance. Anything, to show the consequences of “doing whatever it takes”.

But maybe I’m asking too much.

It’s a good episode nonetheless, and managed to get me pretty excited about the rest of the season. Let’s do this!

[qnfpanel]

George Washington was the first, you see, he once chopped down a cherry tree

President number two would be John Adams and then number three

Tom Jefferson stayed up to write The Declaration late at night so he and his wife had a great big fight and she made him sleep on the couch all night

James Madison never had a son then he fought the War of 1812

James Monroe's colossal nose was bigger than Pinnochio's

John Quincy Adams was number six

And it's Andrew Jackson's butt he kicked so Jackson learns to play politics next time he's the one that the country picks

Martin Van Buren number eight for a one-term shot as chief of state

William Harrisson, how do you praise that guy was dead in thirty days!

John Tyler he liked country folk

And after him came President Polk

Zachary Taylor liked to smoke, his breath killed friends whenever he spoke

1850, really nifty Millard Fillmore's in

Young and fierce was Franklin Pierce, the man without a chin

Follows next a period spannin' four long years with James Buchanan then the South start shootin' cannon and we've got a civil war

A war! A war down south in Dixie!

Up to bat comes old Abe Lincoln, there's a guy who's really thinkin' Kept the United States from shrinking, saved the ship of state from sinking

Andrew Johnson's next, he had some slight defects, Congress each would impeach and so the country now elects

Ulysses Simpson Grant who would scream and rave and rant while drinking whiskey although risky cause he'd spill it on his pants

It's 1877 and the democrats would gloat but they're all amazed when Rutherford Hayes wins by just one vote

James Garfield, someone really hated cause he was assasinated

Chester Arthur gets instated four years later he was traded

For Grover Cleveland, really fat elected twice as a democrat

Then Benjamin Harrison after that

It's William McKinley up to bat

Teddy Roosevelt charged up San Juan Hill

And President Taft he got the bill

In 1913 Woodrow Wiiilllllllson takes us into World War One

Warren Harding next in line

It's Calvin Coolidge he does fine

And then in 1929 the market crashes and we find it's Herbert Hoover's big debut he gets the blame and loses to

Franklin Roosevelt, President who helped us win in World War Two

Harry Truman, weird little human serves two terms and when he's done

It's Eisenhower who's got the power from '53 to '61

John Kennedy had Camelot

Then Lyndon Johnson took his spot

Richard Nixon he gets caught

And Gerald Ford fell down a lot

Jimmy Carter liked campaign trips

And Ronald Regan's speeches scripts all came from famous movie clips

And President Bush said "read my lips"

Now in Washington D.C. it's democrats and the G.O.P. but the ones in charge are plain to see the Clintons Bill and Hillary

[davewakeman]

Talking Tickets--3 April 2020: StubHub! Bailouts! Marketing! More!

Hey!

Welcome to April!

Let’s hope March really did go out like a lamb. Because that lion part was very apt, am I right?

How is everyone holding up? Let me know. You can just reply to this email.

If you want to join our Slack community, we are all figuring it out together but there are about 150 folks from around the globe in the channel, talking all areas of tickets.

I’m also co-hosting a Happy Hour this afternoon at 5 PM EDT with Ken Troupe. So swing by, have a drink, and a chat.

And, if you think someone would benefit from this newsletter, share it with them, or send them to this link to sign up.

To the tickets!

————————————————————————————————————

1. StubHub seems to be teetering on the edge: 

I’ve had a lot of conversations about StubHub this week.

I put together a couple of thoughts late on Tuesday night because I was trying to wrap my head around what the big issues are.

The two big ones that I keep coming back to are the fact that so many big businesses don’t have the cash reserves to last a week or two. And, in the case of StubHub, there didn’t seem to be the necessary guardrails or risk mitigation in place to deal with a situation where mass cancellations happened.

The other one is the fact that I believe when we are on the other side of this, there is going to be a fundament rethinking of the way tickets are sold and marketed. That’s the primary and the secondary, just to be clear.

This pandemic and financial crisis initiated by the pandemic are exposing that there is a lot more smoke and mirrors going on in entertainment than most people realized.

If you read the balance sheets and talked to folks widely, you had a feeling that something like this could happen.

As a friend of mine mentioned to me, “you’re always talking about what comes next anyway…” true.

But what does come next?

I’m talking to folks and trying to figure out where we do go from here. And, if I had action items that I would suggest:

1. Rethink your value proposition 2. Rethink who your customer is and who you want it to be 3. Rethink what your organization is doing to acquire and keep customers

Not sexy, just the basics.

Also, what does this mean for the merger with Viagogo?

2. Will things go back to “normal” when we are able to come out of physical distancing? 

I’ve had a lot of conversations the last 3 weeks about what will happen when events come back and a lot of people are just blindly offering up the opinion that there will be so much “pent up” demand for live events that things will be gangbusters.

I believe I mentioned a conversation I had a few weeks back with a friend at an NBA club that was pretty frank in the opinion that if we are being honest, in a lot of markets, attendance never really came back after 2008.

While I don’t look at DAZN as indicative of anything currently, I do think if they can successfully find a way out of their rights payments and some of their commitments, it opens the doors to others doing the same.

Variety shared some research that showed attendance is likely to take a hit in the aftermath of the pandemic. And, I’m pretty certain that some things will come back faster than others.

I don’t put too much stock in any research or any one opinion right now because no one can tell you with great certainty what is likely to happen on the other side of this.

I can tell you from experience that you should be rethinking your offerings, reimaging how you are going to deliver value to your customers, and how you will relaunch your business because restarting your business isn’t likely to be the right answer.

What are all of you thinking about relaunching your businesses? Rethinking things? 

3. Wait!? What?! Folks are talking about marketing as a key to success in the future?!:

Welcome aboard everyone!

My name is Dave and I’ve been holding this spot for all of y’all for many years now.

From where I’ve been sitting, marketing was something that needed to be improved for a while now.

Explaining the value of seeing the arts, attending sports, going to live events should be a slam dunk, but somewhere along the line we’ve gotten way too comfortable with the idea that the value should be inherent and that people should just no.

That was never true and it is one of the primary causes that we find teams trying to sell based on wins and waiting on a show to get great reviews to become “hot”.

My belief is that marketing is the most powerful tool we have in our business arsenal…and as a marketer, my job is to make sure people understand that and use marketing well.

Rant over!

4. Some leagues and teams may be in trouble or are grappling with what their sports will look like: 

This is a global challenge and no one has the answer fully figured out.

Over the past few weeks, we’ve seen the Premier League, UEFA, the AFL, and other sports struggle with the decisions around continuing their seasons, playing games again, and managing their staff.

As with any downturn, some teams are in better positions than others.

While we wait for the isolation orders to end and for the worst of the virus to pass through, it will be interesting to see how teams and leagues managethis challenge.

The money we see in sports in the US and in parts of Europe isn’t the same so there isn’t a one-size-fits-most approach that is likely to be sufficient. 5. Does the live event industry deserve a bailout?

Tim Chambers brings an interesting take on the need to think about using government money to help create and promote events as a way to help instill confidence in the general population.

While Tim writes with the perspective of someone in Europe where the support and funding of culture in the arts takes a much higher priority than is often the case in the States, as we work towards the time when we are able to go back to our daily lives including entertainment, the idea of the government supporting events and experiences as a way to accelerate people’s renewed comfort with large groups.

I would caution that I think any program of the sort likely needs to come with clear expectations…I’m looking at you, Kennedy Center.

Though I do find it unlikely that the secondary market will get a bailout. Though I have to say, watching the machinations of getting one and doling that out might make for extremely entertaining watching.

But besides all of this, Richard Howle reminds us that we really have to do a better job of planning for challenging circumstances.

This is really important because while it is an inconvenience for us, the customer is the one that gets really hurt and is likely to not come rushing back to us when things turn around if we haven’t done right by them when things go wrong.

—————————————————————————————————————-

What am I up to this week?

I’ve been hosting a bunch of free webinars this week on rethinking ticket sales, adding value in tough times, and sales leadership. I’ve also figured out how to add those as audio-only versions for my podcast so look for those to start dropping this week as I get time.

2 more webinars next week:

Tuesday, April 7…I’ll cover brand building for sports and entertainment organizations with 7 key reasons folks need to focus on their brand. This came out of a question during the webinar on rethinking the way that you sell tickets and I thought it deserved a full fleshing out since branding is often not completely understood for being a driver as a protector of pricing, awareness, and demand generation.

Thursday, April 9…Managing Stress: Ideas For Staying Healthy Today with my friend, Andy Romero-Birkbeck. We will cover ways that you can manage stress and keep your head on straight today, but also in the future.

I’ve got a new ebook I’m working on about what comes next in ticketing…I’m working with Booking Protect to create another ebook this time with ideas about what the new opportunities in tickets and entertainment will look like. If you have specific folks or people you’d be interested in hearing from, let me know and I will see if we can work them into the piece. 

Please follow and like us:

Talking Tickets–3 April 2020: StubHub! Bailouts! Marketing! More! was originally published on Wakeman Consulting Group

[bulldogedition]

Hold the cue cards! The Eagle has landed!

As America quietly--and we mean quietly--marked the 50th anniversary of the moon landing this week, TIME magazine decided to use nostalgia for its cover story on the topic.. Back when the moon was the hot location to get to, when John Kennedy's promise of landing a man  on the moon during the 60s ended with Richard Nixon's Administration celebrating it, and back when they were relevant as a weekly, they featured a 'race to the moon!' article a few months prior to the famed event..

This year on the 50th, they are placed a "next space race" re-do with SPACE X as the main racer.. Business taking over!!

Things have changed since then, obviously.. The ole-timers who lived through this event tell me that the world stopped in its tracks to watch coverage on TV of the moon landing.. The wiser elders of today inform me of the emotions of that time, the amazement and bewilderment so many had as they watched history being made in real time.. on TV sets--a new medium for so many in that era..

Even the  Brits did it their way across the pond.

BBC mounted programming to celebrate the great event. One of the shows featured a live jam by Pink Floyd. The program was a one-hour BBC1 TV Omnibus special with the whimsical title of So What If It’s Just Green Cheese?. It was broadcast on July 20, 1969, at 10 p.m.. The Floyd session eventually came to be called “Moonhead.”

TV GUIDE issued a cover story at the time cementing history: As major a worldwide television event as you can get.. Broadcast live not from our planet but from a satellite of it, the moon..

Children across America watched one small step for man became the giant leap for mankind, and turned to space .. they wanted to be astronauts when they grew up. Neil Armstrong became an American hero--looked up to by countless around the planet..

It was America's moment, the shining example of how WE could make it.. how WE could strive for more.. how WE could get to the moon and maybe one day beyond.

MALAISE DAYS

That brief but albeit amazing American moment of being the first to plant an earthly flag on a desolate space dwelling wore off quickly.

About 50,000+ deaths in Vietnam, Watergate, the Manson murders in Cali, high gas prices, inflation, and other world wide events suddenly forced people into a corner where pride and patriotism was not as evident.. Where we lost our focus on leaving this planet.

Instead, we decided to stay, and fight.. and argue.. Burn bras and protest war!

There was economic turmoil and other vastly amazing and historic moments of political upheaval.. whether it was Richard Nixon resigning before impeachment, or a sweater-wearing Jimmy Carter telling the nation to conserve its energy, it all led to the Reagan Revolution.

He indeed paid for that microphone and he intended on using it..

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd_KaF3-Bcw&w=935&h=701]

 PATRIOTISM UP IN SMOKE

President Ronald Reagan addressed the nation on January 28, 1986, hours after classrooms and media across the nation watched the Challenger explode on LIVE TV..

He called it a national loss.. He said during that broadcast, "I want to say something to the school children of America... I know it's hard to understand, but sometimes painful things like this happen. It's all part of the process of exploration and discovery. It's all part of taking a chance and expanding man's horizons. The future doesn't belong to the faint hearted. It belongs to the brave."

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa7icmqgsow&w=935&h=701]

There seemingly something about this moment that killed the dreams of space.. The malaise 70s turned into roaring decade of greed in the 80s, and somehow we trashed the notion that space mattered.

By the 1990s, a decade when miraculous and amazing discoveries were being found on Mars and other moons of Saturn, we continued just finding ourselves finding space to be the frontier not worth mentioning..

George W. Bush had a similar moment when he addressed the nation in 2003 when the Columbia exploded after mission control lost contact.. Debris fell from the skies above Texas as the Columbia was lost without survivors..

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT5ecjjXdqw&w=1218&h=685]

And now, 50 years after the moon landing moment, even the business SpaceX cannot get attention unless one of its rockets blows up on the way to the Van Allen Belt.

TAPES AND LEGACIES DESTROYED

I mentioned before the ole' timers.. those who lived through the decade of revolution.. As an 80s child, I only can contemplate the death of space exploration. .When I was just 5, I may or may not have known of the Challenger horror.. when I was growing up in the 90s, my love of space was not because of NASA exploration but instead because of my healthy diet nightly of staying awake late to listen to Art Bell expose and expand on potential alien life and UFO sightings around the world..  But my interviews of those who lived through the live stream -- the true live stream during the 60s of the event -- produce another interesting side effect of the moon landing: I am told the youth of that day were glued to TV sets, but the older Americans had disbelief in what they were seeing..

Hogwash! Man on the moon!? No way!

Perhaps this is where conspiracy theories were formed.. This could be the beginning times when people just could not believe their eyes..  It was all too perfect a story. Kennedy promised men on the moon before the end of the decade. And suddenly at the end of the decade we were going to the moon, safely on LIVE TV for the world to watch, land then leaving the moon without incident, arriving back at home.. all without injury. All without a situation. Without a disaster...

Also destroyed.. a legacy? This was reported last year:

US astronaut Buzz Aldrin is suing two of his children and his former business manager alleging they stole money from him and are slandering his legacy.

The lawsuit, which also claims they are stopping him from getting married, was filed after his children petitioned to take control of his finances.

They asked a judge to name them as his legal guardians because he is suffering from memory loss and confusion.

 HOAX OR NO

There is still a large amount of people (and actually growing if you see popular opinion polls and compare throughout time) that do not think we actually were on the moon. Some real events may not have helped the NASA defenders over the years..

Back in 2009, media reports told us that Nasa taped over its only high-resolution images of the first moon walk with electronic data from a satellite or a later manned space mission, officials said today  So the most historic event in the agency ever, and someone they managed to record something else over it to save money.. huh!?

Stories like that don't help...

Rumors like this don't help either: Stanley Kubrick's 'The Shining' was released 11 years after the first landing on the moon. In that movie, Danny Torrance - played by child actor Danny Lloyd - is seen wearing a knitted jumper with an Apollo 11 rocket on its front. In the scene where Danny first encounters Room 237, he is seen playing on carpet that it is said to resemble an aerial photograph of the launchpad of Apollo 11.. When Danny picks up the tennis ball, which is supposed to represent the hoax itself, he then enters Room 237 and comes out of it attacked and bruised. Later, in the climax of the movie, Jack Torrance - played by Jack Nicholson - screams and raves about the responsibility that's been placed on him, and that he has signed a contract to maintain the hotel and that he is responsible for holding its secrets.

The interpretation asserts that 'The Shining' was, in part, Kubrick trying to confess his role in the moon landing, from the carpets up to Jack Nicholson's crazed rants acting as Kubrick's vented frustrations.

Stanley Kubrick's daughter was forced to push back against this in 2016..

Also this.. There was a viral video that was released on the internet where Buzz Aldrin was attending the National Book Fest in Washington DC and was being interviewed by an eight-year-old girl named Zoey.

Zoey asked the astronaut: “Why has nobody been to the Moon in such a long time?”

Aldrin’s eyes grow wide in the video and he says to the little girl:

“We didn’t go there, and that’s the way it happened. And if it didn’t happen, it would be nice to know why it didn’t happen.”

Some have even claimed to see NASA being sloppy and forgetting to censor buildings appearing in moon footage..

And just on Friday night, Ground Zero with Clyde Lewis featured this as the topic for the program.. and also included a strange clip of the astronauts joking to mission control about cue cards and stage hands!!

Mission Control to Neil Armstrong: Is Buzz Holding the cue cards for you… over?

Neil Armstrong: Cue cards have a no. We have no intention of competing with the professionals believe me.

Unidentified voice: yea Ron’s getting to be known as the silent CAPCOM. (unintelligible) OK.

Buzz Aldrin: The only problem Charlie, these TV stagehands don’t know where they stand.

Mission Control: Well he doesn’t really have a union card there we really can’t complain too much I guess.

Neil Armstrong: Hey the restraints here are doing a great job of pulling my pants down.

x x x

NAZI CONNECTION

There are tons of questions that people will constantly ask about whether the moon landing REALLY happened in space or in front of TV cameraman somewhere on some elaborate set directed by Stanley Kubrick..

If you side with the conspiracy theory that the landing was a hoax, suspend your disbelief for a moment and believe.. because there is a whole other conspiracy theory/fact for your enjoyment..

Filmmaker  Aron Ranen got a grant for $65,000.. He got this grant in order to travel across the USA to interview former astronauts, mission controllers, scientists and others, in an attempt to prove that NASA actually sent men to the moon in 1969.

But instead of proving it was real, he was left with countless questions over whether it really happened.. His movie, MOONHOAX, is available for free download on YouTube and other platforms..

Along with the questions that persist whether it was real or not, Ranen asked some other question. If it was real, the set of facts that presents itself may be much more discomforting..

In the documentary, one of the Apollo mission’s few black employees reveals that the Ku Klux Klan operated openly at the Kennedy Space Center during the ’60s.

And more: A retired tracking engineer said that Nazi scientists helped the U.S. test hydrogen bombs in the South Pacific during the ’50s. This was a claim substantiated by recently declassified documents.

A former slave laborer recalls esteemed rocket scientist Wernher von Braun overseeing huge forced-labor camps in Germany during World War II (true).

And, finally, it turns out that all the basic data taped during the Apollo 11 mission has been misplaced--something confirmed in 2009 by NASA itself as we talked about earlier.

For your discernment, all the uploaded segments of MOONHOAX featuring some of the hard to stomach facts that Nazis helped the United States get to the moon, with one allegation that Neil Armstrong was the first to walk on the moon because he was a German, and Nazis assisting the US get there wanted it that way..

PUNCH DRUNK

50 years on... 50 years later. We have not really been back since....

We have been stalled here on this planet. A planet filled with war and mayhem. Instead of reaching for the stars we are just forced to continue grasping at straws that something will change..

If the moon landing really even happened to begin with.

And on that note, we will end with Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon. When he was approached about the factual matters of the moon landing several years ago, he had an interesting response..

Back in 2002, Buzz was approached by a moon landing denier.. Aldrin decided to take action..

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_YM9cCtwz4&w=1218&h=685]

It would have been the punch heard around the world.. but after decades since 1969, everyone stopped listening.

[cutiekins01]

The Presidents Song

Y:

Heigh ho! Do you know, The names of the US Residents Who then became the Presidents And got a view from the White House loo Of Pennsylvania Avenue George Washington was the first, you see He once chopped down a cherry tree

President number two would be John Adams and then Number three

Tom Jefferson stayed up to write The Constitution late at night So he and his wife had a great big fight And she made him sleep on the couch all night

James Madison never had a son then he fought the War of 1812

James Monroe's colossal nose Was bigger than Pinnochio's

John Quincy Adams was number six And it's Andrew Jackson's butt he kicked So Jackson learns to play politics Next time he's the one that the country picks

Martin Van Buren number eight For a one term shot as chief of state

William Harrisson, how do you praise That guy was dead in thirty days!

John Tyler he liked country folk

And after him came President Polk

Zachary Taylor liked to smoke His breath killed friends whenever he spoke

1850, really nifty Millard Fillmore's in

Young and fierce was Franklin Pierce The man without a chin

Follows next a period spannin' Four long years with James Buchanan Then the South start shootin' cannon And we've got a civil war

A war! A war down south in Dixie!

Up to bat comes old Abe Lincoln

There's a guy who's really thinkin'

Kept the United States from shrinking Saved the ship of state from sinking

Andrew Johnson's next He had some slight defects

Congress each Would impeach

And so the county now elects

Ulysses Simpson Grant Who would scream and rave and rant

While drinking whiskey Although risky Cause he'd spill it on his pants

It's 1877 and the democrats would gloat But they're all amazed when Rutherford Hayes Wins by just one vote

James Garfield, someone really hated Cause he was assassinated

Chester Arthur gets instated Four years later he was traded

For Grover Cleveland, really fat Elected twice as a democrat Then Benjamin Harrison after that It's William McKinley up at bat

Teddy Roosevelt charged up San Juan Hill

And President Taft he got the bill

In 1913 Woodrow

Wiiilllllllson Takes us into World War One

Warren Harding he does fine

It's Calvin Coolidge next in line

And then in 1929 The market crashes and we find

It's Herbert Hoover's big debut He gets the blame and loses to

Franklin Roosevelt, President who Helped us win in World War Two

Harry Truman, weird little human Serves two terms and when he's done

It's Eisenhower who's got the power From '53 to '61

John F. Kennedy, he gets shot So Lyndon Johnson takes his spot

Richard Nixon he gets caught And Gerald Ford fell down a lot

Jimmy Carter liked campaign trips

And Ronald Regan's speeches' scripts All came from famous movie clips And President Bush said "read my lips"

Now in Washington D.C.

It's democrats and the G.O.P.

But the one in charge is plain to see

Its Clinton, first name Hilary

The next President to lead the way Well, it just might be yourself one day Then the press'll distort everything you say

So jump in your plane and fly away

[thespecialrelationship-phff]

Chapter 14

AN: Hello my lovely readers! Thank you for the continuous feedback, it really does make my day...Enjoy the new chapter!

FLOTUS—POV

In the morning I make a concerted effort to go about my day as normal. I pretend that mere hours before Harry didn’t have me pinned to a wall, doing…well I can vividly remember what he did.

The biggest issue is that I want to do it again.

Anna either can’t see something is amiss or I’ve successfully hidden it but I feel like I have a huge sign on my forehead that reads ‘Prince Harry gave me the most spectacular orgasm last night.’

Additionally, I avoid Paul.  He’s a hulking shadow behind me at all times today, but I don’t acknowledge him. His presence feels even more overbearing than usual.

He hasn’t had the guts to address what he witnessed in the hall last night. Part of me wants him to just so I have an excuse to rant and rave. Really, I should get the asshole fired.

After the Closing Ceremony I’m waiting for my SUV in a secured area of the amphitheater. Anna is standing next to me putting finishing touches on press releases and social media posts. My hand is itching to pull out my phone. I want to talk to Harry, see if we could meet up sometime this evening.

There’s commotion at the other end of the hall.

Speak of the devil.

Harry emerges with Ed and his security team. He’s dressed in a blue suit, face still flushed with the excitement of the day. Our eyes lock and immediately blush. My stomach knots remembering the feel of his hands, his lips…whoa I’ve got to pull myself together.

Harry unabashedly lets his gaze sweep over my body, a confident perusal. He smiles slowly, predatorially. Shit. I really need to get myself together.

Anna’s discreet voice reaches my ear, “What in ever-loving hell is that about?”

I shake my head, “You don’t want to know.”

“Oh, but I really think I do.” She says just as Harry stops in front of us.

“Miss Randolph.”

“Your Royal Highness.”

We pause for a moment both just taking one another in. Up close I can see the faint signs of fatigue, he has had a busy week, but I also see the excitement in his eyes. He’s doing what he loves, no doubt making the exhaustion worth it.

I very much try not to blush.

Someone coughs near us, maybe Ed.

Harry blinks but then focuses back on me, “Myself and a few others are going into the park this evening. Interested?”

“The park?” I ask stupidly.

“Magic Kingdom. It does feel a bit sacrilege to be this close and not go. Right?”

Before I know it, I’m nodding my head.

“8ish?”

“Sounds good.”

After a quick nap and light dinner at the hotel Anna finally pounces. “Okay, what’s going on? The two of you barely see each other all day but then when you do it’s all stars and hearts. What happened?”

“Nothing.” I insist.

“Bullshit.”

I pause. Then sigh, if I can’t talk to her about it I can’t tell anyone else.

“You have to stay silent until I finish.”

“Understood.”

I take a deep breath then explain what happened last night right up to our hot and heavy session against the door. When I finish I peek up at Anna. She’s staring at me impassively, her calm mask firmly in place.

She nods, “You deserve it.  Kennedy, you are only human and he is I would imagine very hard to resist.”

I hold up a finger, “There’s a little more.”

“Oh?”

“Paul kind of, maybe but definitely did catch us.”

“What do you mean by ‘catch us’?” Her words are still slow and calm.

I just wince.

“Oh fuck.”

“My thoughts exactly.” I start pacing. “He hasn’t said anything today…”

“He should be fired. Spying on an intimate moment like that.” Anna goes to reach for her phone.

I look at her panicked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m calling personnel. He’ll be on a plane back to whatever pit he emerged from never to hassle us again.”

“You can’t do that.” She looks at me puzzled. “To get him terminated you’ll have to explain why which would make it back to Jenkins and then get back to my father.”

Which is the worst case scenario, nuclear level disaster. I can only imagine the way that phone call would go and it wouldn’t be fucking pretty.

Anna has a hand pressed thoughtfully to her chin. She taps her chin then frowns, that’s never good. “What?”

“My instinct tells me that Jenkins already knows.”

“Why on earth would you say that?” Then it dawns on me: Paul is loyal to Jenkins so Jenkins definitely knows. Shit. I sigh. “I suppose there’s a silver lining.”

“There is?”

“Jenkins plays the long game. There’s no way he would turn over information like this now. He’ll sit on it for a bit.” I collapse into the armchair. “So I’ll have time to enjoy my life before my father goes ballistic and tries to ground me.”

Anna laughs then apologizes.

I laugh too. It really is absurd. I’m an adult, a representative of the most powerful nation in the world and I’m being policed like a teenager.

“On another note, the Secret Service has briefed and prepared the visit to the park this evening.”

“Good. You’re coming right?” She opens her mouth to protest. “You’re coming.”

And before she can argue there’s a knock on the door followed by the smug visage of Paul appearing. Anna and I exchange disgusted looks. “What?”

“Miss Randolph, I would like to discuss your plans for this evening.”

“What about them?” I absentmindedly scroll through my phone.

“Unfortunately, we cannot approve the plans.”

I raise my brow, “Funny. Because my Chief-of-Staff just told me that the Secret Service approved it.”

“That is correct, but we’ve decided it would be best if you remained in your hotel suite this evening.”

I put my phone down gently even though I want to smash it. The trickle of information he’s passing out like alms is grating on my nerves. “Who is ‘we’?”

“The President’s Chief-of-Staff, Miss.”

Anna and I exchange a look.

I fold my arms over my chest, making my displeasure well known. “But not the President.”

“Correct, Miss. However, the Chief-”

I stand, “In that case. I will be going. Feel free to stay here.” I start to walk to my bedroom.

“Miss Randolph, after what happened last night. It would be best to not ‘tempt fate’ We’re concerned about negative publicity.”

I don’t appreciate his oblique reference to what happened last night. I especially don’t appreciate Jenkins essentially holding me hostage on no authority but his own. I turn to face Paul head on. “Oh, are you planning on spying during an intimate moment again? Is that what you mean?”

“Miss-.”

“Save your apology, I’m sure that’s what you were about to say.” I glare, focusing all my hate and frustration on this pathetic excuse of a human. “Let me repeat myself, ‘Go fuck yourself.’”

And I go into my bedroom I can just barely hear Anna escorting Paul out, sarcasm dripping from her polite words.

Thirty minutes later I re-emerge dressed for a casual evening at the Happies Place on Earth. I grab a pair of highwaisted denim shorts with a band of lace around the hem. I pair it with an orange knit crop-top that has a geometric band around the bottom. On a whim I grab my wedge sneakers.

When I walk back out Anna has quickly changed as well, opting for a crisp pair of linen shorts and blouse instead of her usual suit. “Shall we?”

She nods.

When I step out into the hall I can sense the tension. My security team is looking anywhere but at me. “What’s going on?” The men exchange a glance but don’t offer an explanation. This really can’t be good.  I step closer to Mitch, the de facto head of my detail. “Is something wrong?”

“Paul expressed his displeasure with your agenda this evening.” He says stoically.

I roll my eyes, “You still have approval from the Director, right?” He nods, yet hesitates. “I’m sensing a ‘but’.”

“He’s working on subverting that approval.”

I should probably pick my battles, but I’m done. Paul is overreacting. I’ve purported myself appropriately in public the last few days, per my father’s request. What I do in private will not dictate what I’m allowed to do in public. Besides, what could be more wholesome and American than a trip to Disney World?

“Then perhaps we should move quickly.” I suggest.

Mitch blinks, surprised but then his lips quick into a smile. “Yes Miss.”

We meet Harry in the lobby, Ed and Lieutenant Lovell area also waiting for us. Harry stands when he sees me, “You were almost late.”

“Yes, but we’re here now. Mr. Fox. Lieutenant Lovell.” I place a chaste kiss on Harry’s cheek. “Let’s get a move on.”

“In a rush?” He asks suspiciously.

“Maybe I’m just excited.” I counter then flash him a warm smile. “Let’s have fun tonight.”

He stares down at me, his gaze searching for something. Finally after a beat or two he smiles. “That’s my plan.” And as he walks past me he squeezes my hand.

Instead of taking the monorail we’re escorted into a dark SUV and taken into a back entrance to the park, probably to avoid a crush of people. Oddly our little group is silent as we travel. Part of me is actually engrossed seeing behind the scenes at the park while the other part is very conscious of Harry sitting just feet away.

I wish we were closer, much closer. I glance over at him and he’s watching me, his eyes betraying a host of inappropriate thoughts. Glad to see the feeling is mutual at least.

It’s amazing how seamlessly the staff area of the Magic Kingdom morphs into the park. In one moment we’re surrounded by concrete and headless cartoon characters the next we’re on the Main Street U.S.A. Disney’s Victorian re-creation of Americana.

And there are people everywhere.

Since it’s well past sunset I have to forego my sunglasses. The good news is that people rarely notice famous people in places they aren’t expected. Families don’t come to Magic Kingdom looking for the First Lady or Prince Harry so their minds rarely connect the dots.

I’m praying that holds true tonight.

We melt into the crowds, our security teams forming a tight but what appears as casual barrier around us. With their casual clothes they can almost pass as tourists. Of course if you look hard enough you would notice the ear pieces and the tell-tale bulges of their weapons.

“Where to first?” I ask.

Harry shrugs, “It’s been so long.”

I decide to give him the whirlwind Disney experience. We don’t have much time, but it must be enough to hit the high points. “Cinderella’s castle it is.”

I lead our little group with Harry falling into step beside me. We move with ease, most people not noticing us.

We pause in front of Cinderella castle. I turn to him as he stares up at the picturesque building. “Now, I know you have a real castle but this one is still something special. You have to admit.”

He taps his chin with his finger, thinking and staring at the building. “It’s kind of small.” I punch him in the shoulder. “Ouch!”

I glare at him but see him smirking. Damn man was being facetious. “Seriously, it’s amazing right?”

He nods, then spins around to take in the whole view with the midway behind us. “It really is. I remember this feeling, like there’s no other place like this in the world.”

I agree and we keep walking, taking a left towards Liberty Square, the colonial themed section of the park. Vaguely I can hear our friends chatting behind us.

“Do you think adult Harry will enjoy this as much as little Harry?” I ask.

“Adult Harry is definitely enjoying it so far, company especially.” He pauses then bumps his hip against mine. “We can talk about little Harry later.” He winks and I can’t help but laugh.

I roll my eyes, “You’re lucky I know you’re joking with those cheesy pick-up lines or else it would be very creepy. A turnoff even.”

“I know, I know. But it made you laugh.”

“It did.”

He swings an arm around my shoulder pulling me close so he can speak softly, “And I do love hearing you laugh.”

I let myself relax for a moment, just enjoying his arm around me, the feeling of security and comfort. His muscles gently flex and I resist the urge to huddle closer.

There’s a light cough. And I know it’s Anna’s polite way of censoring us.

Carefully, Harry retrieves his arm. It’s awkward for a moment until Harry exclaims, “Well look who it is!” He’s pointing at everyone’s least favorite attraction, The Hall of Presidents. And there’s a cardboard cutout of my father outside of it. “Let’s take a picture.”

“Harry…” I begin to complain.

“Relax, I don’t want to sit through it, just a quick picture.” I remain firmly planted a few feet away from the cutout, which Harry stands next to.

This causes our security details to separate slightly, limiting how much they can blend in. People start noticing. I can feel the familiar prickle of the stares. Anna looks at me, wondering what the move is. She could intervene but it would attract much more attention.

I step closer and a triumphant smile lights Harry’s face. “Sure, on one condition.”

“Anything.”

“We take a selfie.” I watch as his face goes from triumphant and flirtatious to annoyed.

He shakes his head, “Absolutely not. I hate selfies.”

“Oh, you do?” I lift my hand to my face. “I had no idea.”

Harry sighs, “Fine. You win this round.” I nod confidently then follow Harry as we continue our walk. “Remember though, what goes around comes around.”

Belatedly I realize that Harry is now confidently leading the way through liberty square into the western themed area. “Where are we going? And more importantly how do you know where you’re going?”

Harry doesn’t answer he just smirks.

“Really?”

We keep walking and Harry stays silent. Finally he stops on a bridge and turns to the attraction. “Oh no.” I say adamantly then cross my arms.

“Come on, it was my favorite when I was younger.”

“But I would get wet.” Harry just raises his brow, and I know he wants to make a double entendre. “You know what I meant.”

I can only imagine the photos that could come from that opportunity. Or from people trying to purchase the ride photo.

“It’s just a little water.” He then turns to the rest of the group. “Ed? Anna? Lovell? You win?”

“Hell yeah.” Lovell responds, then looks at Anna. “You can sit with me.”

Ed jumps in then, “I’ll go as well.”

“This is peer pressure.” I declare, but no one seems sympathetic to my cause. I realize that this is a losing battle. I eye the illuminated faux mountain warily, the water rushing over the edge. “Fine.”

Harry lets out an excited yelp, then practically drags me toward the line.

It’s not a long wait, luckily, probably because it’s dark and starting to get just a little chilly.  We wait in line, people mostly keeping to themselves instead of bothering us. I’m thankful for it. It makes it much easier to enjoy this time.

When we get towards the front I hear Anna curse. I look toward her panicked, she’s not one to curse in public at least not loud enough for people to hear. Slowly I turn towards her. Harry is trying not to look like he’s paying attention. “Anna, what’s wrong?”

“Paul’s coming.”

“What?”

Anna’s face doesn’t show any emotion, but I know the idea of Paul coming here makes her just as angry as me. “He revoked approval for your outing. He’s going to escort you back to the Resort.”

As soon as she finishes Mitch speaks, “My apologies Miss, but once the ride is over we will be escorting you back to your accommodations.”

Frustration threatens to overwhelm me. It feels like I’m a child, but I think I even had more freedom then. I glance around and notice that Harry, Ed and Parker are all looking at me with pity. Embarrassment washes over me. I despise this.

Most of all I know if I leave now this will be the last time I see Harry for god knows how long. Our goodbye would be in a crowded theme park, no kiss, no hug, probably not even a sincere farewell. I tell myself that what I’m really going to miss is the potential sex later on, but I know that’s not the  

My eyes drift shut as I try to think, try to block out all the excess chatter. A very irresponsible idea takes root in my head. Holy shit, if I do this…

Fuck it, I’m an adult, an educated, independent adult who should be able to do this.

Solemnly I nod towards Mitch, “Understood. So my two agents can ride with us and Harry’s will wait for us at the end of the ride.”

No one objects to that plan. I pull out my phone and quickly type a text to Harry, Do you trust me?

I don’t hear his phone go off which must mean it’s on silent. I look over at Harry ignoring the confused looks from everyone else. He’s looking at me, brows furrowed almost glaring. “You’re just going to leave then?”

I sigh dramatically, “I have to. I wish I didn’t, but I really don’t have a choice.” I pause then hold out my hand palm up. “Let me see your phone, I want to make sure you have my number.”

“I know that I have your number, but that’s not-.”

“Let me check.” I interrupt forcefully. Harry pulls his phone out and I notice Anna watching me warily, she knows something is up. I can see my message on the screen, waiting unopened. I pretend to insert my number then return to the phone. “There.”

Harry’s eyes only widen slightly as he reads the message, but we’re moving in line so it goes unnoticed.

My phone vibrates, Of course. What’s going on?

When the ride stops, grab my hand and run. I send it then put my phone back in the bag, trying to look nonchalant.

He reads the message then silently nods. I can’t tell if he’s nervous or excited.

We continue to get closer to the loading station. “So I guess this is goodbye.” I say, with a tone of sadness in my voice.

“I guess.” Harry sticks out his hand. “It was a pleasure working with you Miss Randolph.”

I shake his hand, “Likewise, your royal highness.”

Anna is still eyeing me suspiciously as I organize everyone in the car.

Harry and I sit in the front row and I slide in first. Parker and one of Harry’s RPOs sit a row behind us, leaving one row empty and then Ed and Anna take the second to last while my agents sit in the back row. Before Anna sits down I call her over and slip her my ring with a smile, “I don’t want to lose it.”

“Kennedy, whatever you think-.”

I hold up my hand, “Enjoy the ride, Anna.”

I settle in next to Harry who looks at me I simply smile back. “You wanted to have fun, right?”

He laughs loudly, “I might regret this.”

“Not a chance.”

“You know that the people in the front get the most wet.” He teases.

“Liar.” But my nerves do twist a little as we go up the first short hill.

When we’re reaching the crest, my hands tighten on the lapbar. Harry chuckles, “Don’t tell me you’re going to scream.”

“I’m not going to-.” I inhale sharply as the boat reaches the peak, but finally see it’s just a little drop.  “See not going to scream.”

“Sure you weren’t.” Harry just settles back, arms crossed over the back of his head, “This is going to be good.”

As the ride turns from the happy go lucky cartoons to darker I start to get nervous. I remember what the hill looked like from outside, it actually is fairly tall. I bite my lip, knowing that I’m definitely going to scream. We start up the big hill, which is dark at the end due to the lateness of the evening.

I can hear the screams from the car ahead of us and I flinch.

Harry reaches over and squeezes my hand, “It’s going to be fine.”

“I know, I know. I just can’t help it.”

HE nods, “Come on, put your arms up.”

I agree but only because I need to for my plan. “At the last moment I will.”

At the top of the hill I focus on the castle lit in the distance instead of the darkness below us and the rushing water. When I feel gravity begin to drag us over I throw up my hands as Harry does the same, and I do in fact let out a small scream.

We emerge and I look down, I’m pretty drenched. I’m sure my hair is going to be a mess. I look over at Harry who’s also been splashed, I can see the darker bits of his shirt. He’s smiling like he’s a little kid again. And I can’t help but laugh.

As we make the turn we pass by the pathway which is filled with people standing against the rail. My stomach drops, I know they’re looking for us. Someone in line obviously spotted us, or someone in the station did. They spot us and scream. Harry and I both give a little wave.

He groans, “Well there’s another cover story.”

“At least your hair still looks good.” I remark. Harry nods then reaches out to tuck one of my hairs back but then he stops himself.

“That was close.” He then whispers. “Want to share more of your plan now?”

“Just follow my lead.” Truth is I have no idea whether or not this is going to work.

The car pulls into the station and I notice people have their cameras out. I focus on getting Harry and I out though. I stand casually and Harry does the same. There’s commotion and I realize that the back restraint is stuck, trapping my security.

What a stroke of luck.

“Oh my god!” I exclaim. The rest of the group all stare at me, while the workers are busy with my security. “My ring, it’s gone.” Anna frowns, but I continue. “Please everyone check their rows, I mean while we’re waiting.”

The group does but I shake my head at Harry. As soon as they are all preoccupied, I grab his hand and run.

There’s commotion behind us but I keep moving, dragging Harry along. I’m running as fast I can, weaving in and out of tourists, knowing that the rest of the evening hinges on us putting distance between us and the rest of the group, now.

We blow past Harry’s security who was at the exit and keep moving.

My blood is pumping as I try to think of where to go, really I didn’t think we would get this far.

“Where are we going?” Harry asks as he struggles to stay close.

People turn and frown as we move through the crowds but most people don’t realize its us, they just think we’re annoying tourists.

I spot the little known way to get to Adventureland and we go through the cramped, covered walkway. They would expect us to go as far away from them as we could, so we’re not.

The scenery shifts into the middle-eastern themed, with matching music and deep colors, purples, golds reds. But I’m focused on finding a souvenir shop, which I do.

I pull Harry into the shop and we find a secluded corner. We both lean against the walls breathlessly, he inhales deeply then exhales, “What’s wrong old man?”

He mock glares at me, still huffing and puffing, “You’re unbelievable. Aren’t your security guys like ex-Navy seals?”

“Probably.” I lean back and laugh. “I can’t believe it worked.”

Harry looks around surreptitiously, “Yeah, me either. But now that we’re alone, what’s your plan?”

“Let’s do some shopping.”

Chapter 13                                                                                         Chapter 15

[keywestlou]

MORNING STEW #25

Some exceptionally interesting topics this morning. Any of which could be the lead topic. Not able to choose, I have opted to do a Morning Stew.

Enjoy!

Yesterday was Veterans Day in the U.S. Day of Remembrance in England.

The Brits took an exceptional beating in World War I. Lost a whole generation of young men. One if its greatest battles occurred in Belgium. Memorialized by the Canadian surgeon and soldier John McCrae: “In Flanders field the poppys blow / Between the crosses row on row.”

In 1921, England decided the day required some thing by which it would forever be known. McCrae’s In Flanders field makes mention of poppies. Properly so. The battlefield was covered with red poppies. So the artificial small red poppy flower came to represent England’s Day of Remembrance. Eventually, world wide.

Poppies are a flowing plant. Grow in different colors. One species is the red one. It is famous not only for its war recollections, it is also a reminder of the opium plant. The red poppy is a powerful alkaloid. Some morphine producing. It has been used since ancient times as an analgesic, medical narcotic, and recreational drug.

Better you wear the man made one on Veterans/Remembrance Day than ingest in some fashion the narcotic based one.

Nikki Haley. She has bothered me since coming into prominence. Gave me the feeling she was not a straight arrow. More of an opportunist. More of one who would do most anything to get ahead politically.

She is Donald Trump in a skirt.

Her new book takes major shots at John Kelly and Rex Tillerson. You are aware of the background. She refers their seeking help from her as “a very dangerous thing…..goes against the Constitution…..goes against what the American people want…..offensive.”

Such is her view. Probably the same as those in the far right who blindly support the President.

I view Kelly and Tillerson coming to her as recruiting help to keep Trump from doing anything that would endanger the country.

Think about it.

Haley’s position as reflected in the book terrifying. Rabble rousing. Poison spreading.

What follows is difficult to believe. We have an internal immigration problem in the U.S. A serious one.

Boise, Idaho and California. Californians are moving to Boise and other parts of Idaho. In large numbers. Most have money. Boise a regular American city. Not everyone affluent.

A good share of the Boise citizens live on minimum wage or close to it. The Californians wealthy in comparison.

Real estate prices have zoomed. Since February 2018, 19.3 percent. Rents have gone sky high. Purchase and rental beyond Boise means.

The Californians bring an “attitude” with them. Sort of we are better than you. Not appreciated by the people of Boise.

Seventy percent believe Boise is growing too fast because of the California invasion.

Boise’s recent mayoral election reflects such attitude. One mayoral candidate ran on “Go Back to California!” Another accused the California immigrants as “trashing Boise.” One candidate was asked what he would do if he were King for a Day. He responded, “Build a $26 million wall.”

U.S. burger chains have recently come out with  vegetarian burger. All claim the burgers taste like meat. I tried 3 different ones. They did!

A London eatery has gone one step further. It is serving “worm burgers.” Referred to not as “Big Macs.” Rather, “Bug Macs.”

Made from live worms. Purported to be tastier than beef burgers. Also, it is claimed the “worm Burgers” will help save the planet. Requires only 10 percent of the land space that beef herds do and produce far less carbon dioxide.

A chef involved says, “Let them crawl into your menu once, and you’ll be hooked! Once you get passed the ‘yuck effect’, you’ll find they actually taste really good.”

Crickets are being considered for a side dish.

I am the child of an immigrant. My mother was born in Italy. My grandparents on both sides were born in Italy. My whole family is Italo-American.

Those that immigrated, came through Ellis Island.

On this day in 1954, Ellis Island was closed. The famous “Gateway to America” was no more. Twelve million people processed before the need ended.

A degree of discrimination was involved in the immigration process. Based on money.

Only third class passengers were required to go through Ellis Island. The poor. Those who acquired passage by buying the cheapest ticket.

Many were sickly and perhaps criminal. Ellis Island was opened to search for those who might be a risk to accept on U.S. shores. The government did not want such persons to become a U.S. burden.

My grandfather Louis came through Ellis Island. Twelve years old. He had bugs in his hair and either diphtheria or scarlet fever. Ellis Island was equipped with hospitals. My grandfather was kept in one for 3 months, cared for, cured, and released.

The first person to go through Ellis Island was 15 year old Anne Moore from Ireland.

First and second class passengers were treated better. Money apparently meant they were without illness or a criminal record.

In any event, they were submitted to a brief on board inspection following which they disembarked in New York City or New Jersey at which points they passed through Customs with no difficulty.

No Ellis Island for them.

Now for a little Key West.

Yesterday was Veterans Day. Key West always has a spectacular parade. I thought it was at 5. Went down to Duval to watch. Missed the whole thing. The parade was at 4.

Stopped into Dueling Bartenders. All locals. Spent a pleasant hour chatting.

Mary was there. We went to La Trattoria afterwards for dinner.

La Trattoria was packed as if it were season. Carrie took care of us. We were seated at the bar immediately without a wait.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turned and it was Elena Spottswood. I have not seen her in 15 years. One of the loveliest and kindest women in Key West.

Husband Robert with her. Robert I see each other about once a year. Ironically, always at the same place. The bar at La Trattoria.

The Spottswoods are one of Key West’s leading families. They are into everything. Robert’s father was at different times Sheriff and State Senator. He was friend to the Trumans and Kennedys. The Trumans stayed at his home when visiting Key West after Truman was out of office.

Robert and Elena are modest people. You would never know their position in the community and that of the family in general.

I hope it will not take another 15 years for me to run into Elena. I might not be here.

Stopped at Publix on the way home. Late night shopping easy. Very few shopping.

Tomorrow an important day. The public hearings begin in the Impeachment Inquiry. I will be glued to the TV set all day.

Tomorrow night, Syracuse basketball. I will still be at the TV set.

Tonight, Tuesday Talk with Key West Lou. Nine my time. Join me. So much going on in the world. I love ranting and raving and giving the news my twist as I view events. www.blogtalkradio.com/key-west-lou.

Enjoy your day!

  MORNING STEW #25 was originally published on Key West Lou

[cooltyrantface]

Hit me below the belt

One of the rules of the Gentleman club is: Find you a girl that is a Times Roman in the streets and a verdana in the sheets.

That girl was (supposedly) Nelly (like the rapper). [there was quite some resemblance between her and Nelly the Rapper, otherwise my brain was playing tricks on me(again) on some cause-relate bias]

We met at Rotaract, but I initially saw her at AIESEC. It was her first time, and probably her last time. She told me: “I found it boring”, which personally was kind of ironic considering how actually boring I think Rotaract is, and as a former AIESECer, id say those were the good times. It was lit.

These things are relative, and had she stuck around the MSS, her experience might have been different. She was also the VP of Rotaract so brand loyalty? She had to root for her team and disparage the other (competing) team.

We saw each shortly after that during the Journey meeting. The one that had an African theme. The Thursday Jeremy had come around for a sleepover, and I had either deliberately or circumstancially (I don't know) showed up anyways in the Leopard print coat, the grey shirt and the SONY headphones.

It was chance. I was dressed up for the party. I was oozing in confidence and totally had a time of my life. I cheered, rather too loud for my norm. I sat on the writing board on those JKUAT seats with this girl, appraising the models, judging the performances, watching everything.

After the event, there was a small sort of after-party. There was a DJ turning tables, then the rest of us on the dance floor (the cleared center stage of CLB 00-something) were in two crews, facing each other like a dance-off, though it wasn't a competition. We were just having fun, from the hype guys on the front row showing the rest of us the dance styles to move to the songs. I was on the front row but more like a cheerleader.

We danced like crazy, and I especially, with my two left feet and sedentary lifestyle was making a fool of myself and sweating through every pore and every hole. Nobody seemed to care, especially me. I was watching her on the other side and she was sweating too. She was smiling too, with those demonic eyes that make me want to do some very bad things to her. (Cue in MGK and Camilla Cabello).

Since then I had seen her around, on various occasions, around my place in Gate A. She lived nearby. We passed each other on the streets, barely a word being said between us, only exchanging looks that hinted recognition. That went on for months, until a few weeks ago…

It was a Monday evening. I had been invited for the Rotaract meeting by Fatuma (more about her later) who was also an official at the club. I accepted the invitation.

I entered the room half an hour past seven; a little tardy by all standards; a little drunk after a drinking session with my bud Ron. I sauntered into the room like a Russian spy and sat quitly on the closest a available seat. I sat for close to an hour and a half, listening to this guy talk about his fashion business, then through a Q & A session (I asked him the current state of the fashion industry and how it can be improved, but my brain was too intoxicated to absorb anything close to unrehearsed mumble-jumble of a reply. He was a cool guy though, and his outfits were terrific!), then followed the procedures to the conclusion. I ended the matter in a style and a fashion, a little sobered up, contrary to my late entrance.

After the meeting was over, I tapped this girl on her shoulder and began making a conversation.

“Hi”

“Hi”

“ You had a question for the presenter of the day? I saw you raise your hand but he didn't pick you out. What was that question?” I went on.

She told me, though I can't quite remember. Something generic.

The idea was to take her hand and take her to the Fashion guy, and after she asked away, I'd add some some smart talk and impress her, then take her home. No. Take her number and ask her to come and see me sometime. My mind was on some other girl.

The Fashion Guy had disappeared.

“My name is KK, what's yours?”

“Christine”

“That's a beautiful name…

[“Thank you”].

[We exchanged contacts].

Let's get out of here. It's kind of noisy.”

“ I'm sorry. I have something I have to do before I leave.” She declined.

“Are you an official here? Like do you have club responsibilities?”

“ No, actually. I just help serve the coffee.”

“ I want some…” I blurted out.

She sold me coffee, then a few seconds later announced that it was on-house. The fuck! “You sold me free coffee!” I didn't really mind though, it was just ten-shillings for some shitty tasting coffee in a miniscule plastic cup. A coffee tot.

The girl that was on my mind had been at the center of the room posing for pictures all this while. Then next thing I knew, she was gone. It was time to go. I was outta there.

I got out of the room into the cold air of the night, stepped onto the veranda and circled around the staircase to the other side of the complex and then I saw her! I hopped. I flagged her and her friend.

“Hey. It's you that I wanted to talk to.”

She turned her head ever so gently and gave me the most lady-like smile I have ever received in my life.

She stopped walking and I stood in front of her, looking into her eyes. Then,

“This is going to sound like the corniest thing you have ever had, but you look very familiar. Have I seen you somewhere? I just want to get you out of my mind.”

That smile. That damn smile. We started walking again, talking. I told her my name. She asked, “KK stands for?”

“Kennedy Karanja,” I answered, putting the accent in the right place, like a true son of Mumbi.

“Shee.”

“Haha. Like S-H-E? She?”

“S-H-E-E!”

“yeah, right. Is that your real name or your stage name?” I teased.

“My name is Magdalene Wanjiku(no accent), but my friends call me Shee”

I asked her what she did for fun. Apparently, Netflix and Chill is the most fun she has for days, semester in, semester out. I had other ideas, so I put my arms around her to drive a point. Touching.

She backed away slightly, but then kept coming back. I told her I was a rapper. She was impressed. She asked for a sample, which I had to produce. We had to stand as I scrolled through my Twitter for my SoundCloud. Umm...tweets from last year...mostly rants. Tweets from some past I was depressed. Tweets from a remote history when I didn't have an idea what Twitter was for...then I found it! CABBAGES!

That was a banger. By Kenyan standards. If it was well mastered and mixed and promoted, by all standards.

That's how I got my number one fan. She complemented my voice and I saw in her eyes she was falling for me. She was tripping for me. She said she could sing too.

“Well then, try this:

1-2-5 tuko 4-2-0,

Juja-maica tuko maji tuko H-2-0.”

“125 tuko 5-2-oh!

Juja-maica tuko maji tuko H-2-O”

Impressive!

That's was just her first take. I imagine the future would lit for this gyal should she decide to pick music as a career. But she sings in the choir.

“I was choir-one in high school” she chimes in just as I am about to blah-blah-blah my complements.

We were so long lost in conversing that realizing we had finally reached Gate C came as a rude shocker.

“This is where we say goodbye. But before you go there is something I'd like to say”

I took a breath and gave the conversation a breather.

Then I said the most absurd words she has ever heard come out of a human mouth. I spoke like a dragon of a human,

“ I want to fuck you and make you my bitch.”

She stepped back in shock. I had lifted some rapper's lyrics and quoted them verbatim. I said those words so casually, in the midst of witnesses and eavesdropping passers-by. She retreated back to her shell; no longer smiling; no more of those eyes. Those damn eyes!

I was left to my own mental space, finally realizing the gravity of my stupidity yet ambivalently confident in my aggressive approach. Little did I know that this woman that I was prospecting to fuck and do bad things to was born-again. Jesus Christ, who is the freak now?

I had to hastily say my goodbyes and leave with my tail wagging between my legs, the defeated dog that I had turned into. Back into school, back to CLB - I had to claim my prize. My final option. It was her.

Remember how I implied that she was a Times News Roman in the streets but a Verdana in the sheets? I had to find out. I trekked at a marcher's pace and trotted at a runner's pace.

When I made my re-entry, I was lucky she was one of the few people that had been left, and had I been a few seconds later she would have vanished. I went straight to her and we hit it off.

“i wanted to nominate you for the Fashion adjudicator's award. You're minimalist, but you still look stylish. Real stylish.”

She looked down, half inspecting her outfit, half blushing at this stranger’s kind words, then rebuffed with a “ ah! I dont know.”