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moonjxsung · 10 months

Text

Seasons

Pairing: Lee Felix x fem reader

W/c: 24.1k

Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of a hospital, alcohol, smoking, erotic photography, use of pet names, clitoral stimulation, breast/nipple play, unprotected sex, creampie, dry humping, sex in a semi-public place (no one is around), oral sex (fem receiving), fingering, cum eating

Synopsis: Seasons come and go like your love for Felix once did- but when he reappears in your life several years later, things are much different.

[this work was based off a request from @crookedt44th - thank you for requesting!]

18+. Mdni!

•

Small town at the edge of the world. 11:30am. A Tuesday in Autumn.

If you told the average person to shut their eyes and think of their favorite city, they’d probably conjure up a lengthy description about the booming skyscrapers, the bumper-to-bumper traffic, the fancy restaurants and the well-kept people. Point it out on a map, you’d tell them, and their finger would land in the heart of the amorphous blob of whatever state they’ve chosen.

Now move your finger to the right- keep going, and going, and don’t stop until you’re almost off the map entirely. There will be no major indicators, no colorful dots on this area of the map. You might miss it, in fact, if you shoot too far.

That’s the town of Ember.

A town so insignificant, the only name they could think to give it was based on the fire that plagued it almost 50 years ago, which begged the question to those in neighboring cities- who even lives there?

Famous for absolutely nothing of importance, population who-knows-these-days, nothing to do and nowhere to go.

And the place you call home.

“Pieces of a Dream. 1970’s.”

“Yellow,” your manager responds, and you unravel a bulky roll of discount stickers, thumbing one off the adhesive and placing it gently in the corner of the plastic-wrapped vinyl.

“The rest of those should be discounted,” he says, quickly shuffling through the stack and giving them a little slap with the palm of his hand.

He slides the stack over to you, taking his spot on the wooden stool by the register again and flipping through a stack of pages on his clipboard.

Chris, your manager, has been the owner of Ember Records for the better part of a decade now. He succeeds his father’s role as store owner, who succeeded his father’s role, back when the record shop wasn’t mostly lost to the fire. Since its relocation, it’s much smaller, so you’ve heard, only about half the shelf space available to house the generous collection of records his great grandfather used to collect and sell.

This is one of just a handful of shops around here, located in the heart of the tourist attraction that is the town’s square. Thus, you’re well-acquainted with the baristas from the coffee shop across the street, the waiters at the diner, the librarians and even the car mechanics. You’re all familiar with the businesses you run to keep this town on its feet, many of you having chosen to stay here for a simpler life.

“I dig the grays,” you tell Chris, crossing your arms as you lean against the counter and slide him the finished stack of tagged vinyl.

He sighs, cocking his head and uncapping his pen between his teeth. “They creep up on you when you least expect it. You know this shit costs like, hundreds to get dyed?”

“Leave it,” you say to him, giving a small nod as you speak. “It makes you look more mature. I mean, what does Yena think of it?”

“She loves it,” he says, catching a glimpse of his reflection in one of the glass cases and running his hands through his hair. “But she’d also love if I shaved my eyebrows off. She’ll compliment anything.”

“Then shave your eyebrows,” you say, chuckling, as you stuff your phone in the back pocket of your jeans. “You’re lucky to have a wife who’s so supportive of your decisions. I’m taking my lunch!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chris says, laughing as he shakes his head. “Oh, and Yena left you some pie in the back room.”

“Tell her thank you!” You call over your shoulder as you make your way to the back.

The back room is just a glorified storage closet, one dingy table pushed up against the wall, one wooden chair and shelves of records that need to be pushed out to the sales floor, or should’ve just been burned in the fire. You have to duck your head to not hit it on the hanging pendant lamp, its bulb buzzing concerningly loud as you take your seat and pry open the Tupperware container Yena left for you in the fridge- cherry pie, your favorite, from the diner down the street where she works.

As you take generous bites of your first meal of the day, you shuffle through a stack of records neglected on the table from last week’s donation. There are a myriad of genres- old jazz bands, electronic records, synth pop and even a few ambient pieces. As you flip over one of the covers, Chris calls to you from the front, his voice echoing around the dingy little storage closet.

“Y/n! I need you to come help out!”

And you sigh, promptly shutting the Tupperware closed again and making your way out to the front.

That’s the thing about this job- it’s small, but it’s busy, the hundreds of records demanding your very precise attention at any given moment of the day. You live to serve the people here, suggesting records to those seeking new sounds or curiously peering at genres unknown to them. And tourists are drawn to the place, often leaving with armfuls of old vinyl to add to their collections. It’s not a town they’ll likely ever visit again, you’re well aware, but the shop allows people to take a little piece of Ember with them wherever they go. And though the lack of grandiosity might not bring them back, your attentiveness to detail and passion for music sometimes do.

“Coffee?” Yena asks you, as you slide into the familiar spot of your favorite booth, next to the window in her diner. She saunters over with the pot anyway, setting a little white mug down in front of you and filling the cup halfway.

“Thanks,” you reply, already tearing open packs of creamer.

At half past 8, the record shop closes in only an hour, Chris taking on the role of closing procedures in your absence. It’s a routine life you lead, tending to the record shop by day and basking in the town’s simple pleasures by nighttime. And with all the people you love in it, you have no reason to leave, no rush to migrate elsewhere.

“How’s work?” Yena asks, sliding into the booth across from you and pulling a notepad out from her apron. She flips through the pages, stopping on a blank one and adding up her tips for the evening.

“Fine,” you say to her, taking a generous sip of coffee. “Just mostly repeat customers for today. But we did have a pretty hefty donation, so that’s a plus.”

“Anything good?” She questions, without looking up from her notepad.

“Negative. A lot of older stuff I used to listen to in high school.”

Yena finishes tallying up her tips, shutting her notepad and finally meeting your gaze.

“Hey, if that’s old, then I’m ancient.”

You both laugh, and she keeps her gaze on you for a moment before speaking again.

“Gosh, I still remember when you moved here. You were so… wide-eyed. And quiet.”

“I was so lost,” you say with a small chuckle. “I don’t even think I knew how to work a record player.”

“And now look at you,” she emphasizes, gesturing to your face. “You just seem… happy these days.”

She smiles for a moment, before gathering the empty cups of creamer off the table and sliding out of the booth.

“I hope you’ll stay here, if it means you’re always going to be this happy.”

You smile to yourself as she begins back toward the kitchen, humming to herself.

“Wasn’t planning on leaving!” You call out, and without turning around, she gives you a thumbs up before disappearing into the kitchen again.

Some days, your shifts feel like 5 minutes. Other days, they feel like 5 days. Today is the latter, the clock on the wall above the register ticking away by the second, and yet seemingly no closer to the end of your day. You’re on closing procedures this evening, Chris and Yena having taken the day off to have a much overdue date night. And it’s empty, like it usually is on Wednesday evenings, not a soul in sight as the town tends to their own duties, the tourists all working busy jobs in the city.

You slouch your shoulders over the wooden stool, dusting off a pile of folk records and shuffling through them, admiring the intricate paintings on the covers. It’s one of your favorite things about working here- locating the beautiful paintings and photographs that graze the covers of records, all of them vastly different from one another, but equally as evocative. You trace your fingertips over what appears to be a Polish record, a couple dressed in fancy colorful fabrics as he dips her into a bow. You can’t help but wonder what the atmosphere would be like if they were here in front of you, the whole room teeming with the choral ensemble as they’d tap their fancy shoes along the tile flooring and invite you to dance, too. The thought circles your mind with a smile, and you barely hear the next customer enter when they do.

The little gold bell hanging on the door chimes just once when they enter, indicating the arrival of a man, who promptly rushes to the back shelf without so much as a hello. Welcome, I guess, you want to say, dismissing their curtness with a shake of your head as you go back to organizing records.

You shuffle to the next record, admiring the black and white photo of a man with his guitar, a panama hat atop his curly head of hair as he sings into a microphone. It reminds you of the ones your dad used to collect before he passed.

“Excuse me?” A voice interrupts, and you practically jump, startled at the way he navigates the shop without a sound. He’s right in front of the register now, holding a CD in his hands and setting it down in front of you.

“I’d like to pay,” he continues, his baritone voice sounding painfully uninviting.

Without looking up at him, you take the CD from the counter, flipping it over to scan the barcode on the front. Four Decades of Jazz, the cover simply displaying the title in funky purple block text.

“This one’s actually on clearance,” you say, sliding the CD into a small paper bag. “Just 5.”

He pulls out a brown leather wallet, flipping through crisp bills as he searches for exact change. As he does, you take notice of the collection of silver rings that decorate his shorter fingers, a few of them painted with chipping black nail polish. Your gaze fixates on a thicker silver band, carved with black fleur de lis patterns that circle the band all the way around. You cock your head slightly, mapping out the pattern in your head as his hands move, the ring glistening under a beam of light that shines through the window and sets it aglow.

“It was a gift,” the man says when he notices you staring, and he holds out his index finger, rotating his finger to give you the full view.

You say nothing, your lips parting slightly as he does, transfixed by the way the silver hugs his finger and frames his veiny hands. The man stays silent, his gaze on the ring, too, as he pulls it off with a gentle tug and holds it up for you to see.

“Do you want to see it?” He asks, pinching the band between the pads of his fingers as he rotates it under the same beam of sunlight.

“No, thank you,” you reply, your mind still in a trance. “It just… reminds me of…” and your voice trails off, finally allowing your gaze to look up and meet the stranger’s.

His big brown eyes seem to widen when you finally lock eyes, his plump lips parting open as he scrambles to pull the ring back on.

“Something,” is all you can utter, folding the brown paper bag once in your hands and sliding it across the counter. “It reminds me of somebody I used to know.”

His breath hitches his throat as he finds the words to say, unable to string together a cohesive sentence as memories run rampant in his mind, everything coming back to him like a painful wound being reopened.

“Sorry,” is all he can say, clutching the brown bag in one hand as he gives you a small nod. “And thanks. For the CD. Or for ringing me up, rather. Thank you-”

“You’re welcome,” you reply briskly, pivoting on your heel to organize a stack of already-sorted records on the shelf behind you.

And you can still feel him there for a moment, his gaze boring into the back of your head like he wants to say something. But he doesn’t, instead observing the way your hair, a little shorter than he’d previously remembered it, sways gently in its ponytail as you go about your job.

You listen to the way the brown paper bag crumples in his grasp, before he finally retreats and exits, the little bell above the door indicating his departure.

And when you turn around again, there on the counter, his silver ring sits, glistening in the waning glint of the evening sun.

“The lattes are so expensive out there,” Yena says, as she takes a sip from her iced coffee. “I’d drink this gas station coffee any day over that stuff.”

You chuckle lightly, shaking your head as you wipe down the counter with a rag. Chris counts change in the register beside you, muttering counts to himself as he scribbles onto his clipboard and listens to your conversations.

“But hey, we still had a good time,” Yena continues, smiling over at Chris. “Sometimes leaving this town keeps you on your toes.”

“Yeah, well, I’m on my toes enough here as it is,” you respond, the three of you chuckling lightly amongst each other.

The bell atop the door chimes once, signifying the arrival of a new customer, and Chris gestures to the door as you look up.

“All you,” he says, going back to his work.

You fold the rag neatly, setting it on the counter and making your way over to the clearance aisle where the stranger stands. His back is turned toward you, his lanky frame towering over stacks of CDs as he thumbs through them casually.

“Can I help you find anything?” You chime in, your hands behind your back as you watch him. As you speak, he turns to face you, and you breathe a deep sigh of annoyance.

“Seriously?” You say, already retreating back to the counter again and turning away from him.

“Wait,” he calls, rushing after you and standing in front of the counter awkwardly. Chris looks up from his clipboard, furrowing his brows together as Yena shoots him an equally questioning look.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” you respond, unfolding the rag again and wiping down the register.

“Hey, hey,” Chris says, giving you a confused look.

“Don’t worry about it,” you say to Chris through gritted teeth, brushing off the interaction.

“I just wanted to-” the man begins, as he looms behind the counter, fiddling with his fingers nervously.

“Why would you come back?” You question, not looking at him still. “Wasn’t one time awkward enough?”

“I left my ring,” he finally says, dropping his hands at his sides.

Both your gazes fall to your hands, where the silver band rests comfortably on your index finger, almost like it’s always been yours.

“Yeah, whatever,” you reply, pulling it off and sliding it across the counter to him. “Here.”

He doesn’t say anything, not yet reaching for the ring, nor telling you to put it back on. A part of him is fascinated at the prospect you chose to wear it around at all.

The silence that falls over the shop is painfully awkward, Chris and Yena keeping their gazes locked between the two of you as you angrily scrub at a stain on the counter.

“Hey,” Chris says, finally pulling the rag from your grasp. “You’re scratching the wood, kiddo.”

“If no one wants that ring, give it here,” Yena says with a smile.

The ring is slowly lifted from the counter again, slid back onto the finger of its respective owner.

“We’ll give you guys a minute,” Chris says, motioning to the back room with the tilt of his head. And Yena follows him to the back, the till of the register balanced in his arms.

“What do you want?” You ask, finally meeting his gaze again. “I’m working right now.”

His face drops a little, giving you a small shrug before he speaks.

“I was just wondering how you were doing. And I thought-”

“Felix,” you say brazenly, your heartbeat quickening a little at the feeling of his name leaving your lips again after so long. “Cut the small talk. Just tell me why you’re here.”

He sighs as he fiddles with the band around his finger, the metal still warm from the contact against your skin.

“That’s it,” he explains. “I didn’t expect to see you here. And I wondered how you were doing.”

“So leaving your ring here wasn’t an elaborate plan to come back for it?”

“It… was,” he says sheepishly. “I needed an excuse to come see you again.”

“We sell records,” you emphasize. “That’s the only reason you should be here. And if it’s not, then leave.”

“Y/n,” Felix says frustratedly. His eyebrows arch up in an almost pleading manner, his lips quivering as he struggles to find the words to say.

It’s the first time you take notice of his changed appearance, completely opposite to the Felix you last spoke to. His once blonde locks are grown out, grazing over his bony shoulders, a robust shade of ebony that contrasts against his pale skin, tied up into a half ponytail. His plump lips glisten under a glossy coat of peach tint, and his freckles are almost unnoticeable from this distance. You furrow your brows to get a better look, trying to make out the beige constellations you remember so well. But you can’t locate them- not on his nose, or his cheeks or even around his eyes.

He dresses differently, too, a baggy white tank top under a black leather vest, almost too big for him as it swallows his lean figure. And he flaunts a hefty collection of silver jewelry- rings, rows of ear piercings, a chain link bracelet and layered necklaces. If you didn’t know his eyes like the back of your own hand, you might’ve not even recognized him to be Felix.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” You finally ask, your voice softening a little as he toys with the rings on his fingers.

“This is my favorite place for CDs,” he responds, his shoulders relaxing a little as he speaks. “I used to come here every weekend back in high school. I didn’t know you worked here now, I promise I’m not trying to make things weird.”

You sigh a little, shifting your eyes to the shelves and then back at him.

“Well what are you doing here now? Shouldn’t you be in school or something?”

Felix shrugs a little, his expression unchanging. “It’s complicated, I guess.” And then he furrows his brows at you, gesturing to the shop. “I could ask you the same question.”

“It’s complicated,” you reply, echoing his statement back at him. “And I’m not in the mood to indulge you with the story of my life.”

“I have time,” Felix says with a chuckle, and he’s met with your deafening silence.

“Sorry,” he follows, fiddling again with the rings on his fingers.

As you begin to ask him to leave, Chris and Yena enter from the back room again, carefully making their way toward you with hands shoved in their pockets.

“Hey,” Yena says, nudging you gently. “Everything okay, you guys?”

“Yes,” Felix is quick to chime in. “My apologies- I’m Felix,” he says with a beaming smile, holding out his hand to shake Yena and Chris’. They comply, exchanging warm smiles with him, still confused at why you seem so irate.

“I’m sorry to disrupt the peace,” Felix continues, giving them a little bow. “We’re just-”

“Old friends,” you interrupt, rolling your eyes at this act he puts on. “And he was just leaving.”

“Right,” Felix says, his lips pulling into a disheartened expression.

“Y/n doesn’t bring too many friends around here,” Chris chimes in. “What’s the rush to leave?” He chuckles as he finishes, and Yena hits him lightly as if signaling for him to stop.

“Actually,” Felix begins, and you sigh when you realize he’s not done talking yet. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner, or a coffee or something.”

“Felix, I really don’t think-”

“It’s on me if you wanna come to the diner tomorrow,” Yena chimes in. “We still have leftover pie.”

And you pinch the bridge of your nose, sighing deeply as Felix stares at you with a hopeful expression. His eyes are big, gauging your response curiously as you shift your gaze amongst the three of them. Chris watches Yena, who holds her breath as you think. And Felix’s lip seems to quiver when you open your mouth to speak.

“No dinner. Just coffee. And Chris covers my closing shift.”

Felix is at the diner much earlier than you are, comfortably reserving a spot for you on a table in the middle of the room and allowing Yena to fill your mugs with hot coffee. He adds three packs of sugar, two cups of creamer and a dollop of whipped cream he requests from Yena. And he waits for you patiently, stacking the spare cups of creamer into an organized pyramid, in between nervous glances out the window.

Yena wants to ask who he is exactly- why you’d seemed so off yesterday, and whether he’s here for a reason, or just to catch up as the old friends you claim to be. But she refrains, knowing to stay out of your business the way you so graciously stay out of hers.

“More coffee?” Yena asks as she approaches Felix, taking note of the near empty mug in front of him now.

“Sure,” Felix replies, shooting her a nervous smile. His hands tremble a little as he shoves the pyramid of creamers away from him, pretending to look occupied with his phone instead.

Yena fills his mug to the brim again, sliding him the mug across the table and giving him an empathetic look.

“I’m sure she’ll be here,” Yena says, nodding affirmatively. “She’s usually a little late getting off work.”

And Felix just nods, keeping his gaze on the giant glass windows. Outside, the sun has already set for the evening, darkened skies casting over the little square of Ember. The streets are sparse at this hour, just a few pedestrians who also flock here after their shifts, and the diner is fairly empty with the exception of a few young couples. Felix scans the atmosphere as he waits, observing the way everybody seems so acquainted with the place. Red vinyl booths line the large glass windows, dimly lit by hanging pendant lamps that give a yellow hue to the wooden tables below them. Each table is neatly paired with a silver napkin holder, salt and pepper shakers, hot sauce and a myriad of syrup flavors. And a bright neon red sign advertising fresh pies flickers over the kitchen, which is hidden behind silver swinging doors. It looks like something straight out of a movie, he thinks to himself, as a table nearby is served steaming plates of omelets and fries. And as Felix turns his attention back toward the glass windows, he finally sees you approaching, earbuds in and a nonchalant expression on your face. Your hair is tucked loosely behind your ears, a simple ensemble of loose fitting jeans and a sweater complementing your worn down sneakers. The bell on the door chimes as you make your way inside, a smile on your face as you talk briefly with Yena upon entering. And she gestures back to Felix, who gives a little wave from where he’s sitting, in time for his third coffee refill of the evening.

“This isn’t my table,” you say to Felix when you approach, gathering your mug of coffee and gesturing to your favorite booth against the window. Felix’s eyes flicker to the booth, a confused expression on his face as you wait for him to relocate.

“Well? Are you coming, or what?”

“Yeah, um, sorry,” Felix responds, clutching his mug in one hand and carefully bringing it across the room to the booth.

You furrow your eyes when you look back at the table, a tall pyramid of creamer cups placed where Felix was sitting.

Felix slides in the booth across from you, gesturing to your mug and meeting your gaze.

“Do you take cream? Or sugar?”

“Just two,” you say, picking your cups from the little bowl at the end of the table and tearing them open.

He nods, stirring his coffee around with a spoon as you prepare yours.

“Let me guess,” you say with a knowing smile. “8 packs sugar, 4 things of creamer and an entire can of whipped cream.”

He chuckles lightly, angling you the contents of his cup, which now contains a mixture of frothy melted cream and coffee the color of chocolate milk.

“You always did have a sweet tooth,” you respond, laughing and shaking your head. “Might as well just have a sundae while you’re at it.”

When you’re finished, you hold your mug in both hands, taking a generous sip of the steamy beverage and setting it back down with a gentle thud. Felix watches you intently, like he’s waiting for you to initiate the conversation, but you don’t, raising your eyebrows at him as you wait for him to speak.

“I’m just visiting for a bit,” Felix finally says, twiddling his thumbs on the table in front of him. “I’m doing my classes remotely this semester.”

You nod, saying nothing, as he searches for more words to say.

“Are your classes remote, too?” He continues.

“There are no classes,” you interrupt quickly, before he can press you for more information about school. “I dropped out of college.”

“You did?” Felix retorts, his eyes widening a little at how easily you admit to it. Not an ounce of shame, like it was planned from the start.

“Why?” He follows, tracing mindless patterns into the wood of the table below him.

“Because I hated it. Anything else you want to know?”

“Why are you all the way out here?”

“Because I love it here.”

“And how are your parents?”

“My dad died. Last spring. Are we done now?”

Felix swallows nervously, averting your gaze as he taps his knee nervously under the table.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

You just nod at him, pursing your lips a little and toying with the handle on your mug.

“Are you going to tell me about yourself, or do I need to play 20 questions, too?” You ask him, rolling your eyes as a smile grows on his face.

Felix chuckles lightly, relieved that you’ve already forgiven his clear overstepping here.

“I’m still in college. I’m just… undecided. I took a semester off a little while ago because I don’t know what I want to do. I haven’t actually been to class physically in… a good while.”

You nod empathetically at his words, the reality of them contradictory to the Felix you once knew. He was a straight A student when you knew him last, quick to join campus clubs and gain popularity wherever he went. People often commented on how different both of you were from each other- Felix, a bright young student who could light up a room with his smile, always so eager to ask questions and familiarize himself with the world around him. And you, a bit more reserved, your world often tainted by the reality of the hardships you’d faced, and the knowledge that life, when not lived for yourself, is often arduous.

“So you’re doing a bit of soul-searching,” you say to Felix, no stranger to the concept of tourists stopping through here to ‘start life anew’ at the sight of run-down coffee shops and bookstores. And when they find what they’re looking for, they’re gone again, like a soul could never thrive here in the town of Ember, even if it’s where it materialized.

“You could say that,” he responds, swirling the remainder of whipped cream around his cup with a spoon. “Things just haven’t been… great.”

You nod in response, averting his gaze as you study the wooden table below him.

“Well good luck,” you finally say, taking a generous gulp of your coffee and scanning the room for Yena before the conversation can go any further than the base-level declarations of your new separate lives.

“Do you remember that night we snuck out of your house?” Felix asks suddenly, just as you begin to get up.

“What?”

“It was raining. I think it was like 3 in the morning.”

You turn to face him again, narrowing your eyes as he speaks.

“I didn’t have a car at the time,” Felix continues. “So you rode on the handles of my bike in the pouring rain. We went to watch the sunrise, only we didn’t realize that of course because we were in the middle of a storm, there was-”

“No visible sunrise,” you interrupt quietly. “We just watched the clouds turn a lighter shade of gray.”

Felix grins a little as you finish, nodding his head.

“Exactly. And when we got home at 5am, your dad was already awake. And he’d never met me before- we swore he’d have it out for me. But he didn’t- he brought us blankets, and he made us tea and laughed his ass off at our stupidity.”

“There’s no sunrise in a fucking storm!” You exclaim, echoing your dad’s lighthearted lecture from so long ago.

Felix laughs with you, the warm memory circling your minds, both of you equally as endeared by the tale you so vividly remember. As your laughter dies down, Felix keeps his gaze on yours, shooting you a half smile as he speaks again.

“Your dad really loved you. And… it’s one of my favorite memories, even today.”

You hold his gaze too, clutching the handle of your mug again and giving him a small nod, your lip quivering a little at the mention of your father.

“Thanks, Felix,” you say in a melancholy tone, taking a deep breath in an attempt to hold back your tears.

When the feeling’s passed, Felix spoons another dollop of whipped cream into his cup and brings it up to his lips.

“Your hair’s shorter,” he says with a chuckle.

“Yours is longer,” you retort. “And black.”

“I’m trying something new.”

“I can tell,” you say, laughing lightly. “And what’s with all the screws and washers in your ears?”

“My piercings?” He replies. “They’re a fashion statement!”

“They look painful.”

“This one was,” Felix says, toying with the silver helix piercing in his lobe.

“And this one,” his fingers trail down to another silver stud, just below the first. “And maybe this one.”

“At what point is this just inflicting pain on yourself for fun?”

“I’m not finished!” Felix says, as you both share amused laughter. He thumbs over another row of silver studs, thinking intently as he speaks. “This one hurt, this one definitely hurt…”

“How was your dinner thing last night?” Chris asks in the morning, shooting you a knowing smile as he breaks a new roll of quarters in the till.

“Coffee,” you emphasize.

“Coffee,” he echoes. “How was coffee, with your old friend?”

“It was okay,” you respond, organizing a stack of records on the shelf across the counter. “Just catching up, mostly.”

“Yena said you guys were there for hours.”

“Maybe we were.”

“Hours?” Chris repeats, shaking his head. “What could you have possibly talked about that lasted hours?”

“Friend stuff,” you reply to him. “Maybe if you had some, you’d know.”

“Ouch, kiddo,” he says, clutching his chest in a joking manner as you both laugh.

As you turn to grab another stack of records, the bell over the door chimes, and your heads snap in the direction of the noise. And like you’d accidentally spoken him into existence again, Felix saunters in, a shy smile on his face. He looks a little more casual this time, in just jeans and a black t-shirt, but still different than you remembered him nonetheless.

“Speak of the angel,” Chris mutters, nudging you with his elbow as he waves at Felix.

“Hi,” Felix says cheerfully. “It’s nice and warm in here. Outside’s really cold.”

“Felix, what are you doing here?” You sigh, averting Chris’ shit-eating grin.

“What? I’m buying some CDs.”

“We have a good amount on clearance,” Chris says from where he’s standing. “Back shelf.”

“Thanks!” Felix replies, and you pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance.

“Chris, would you give us a minute?”

And he nods, shooting Felix a thumbs up, before disappearing to the back room with a stack of papers.

“Look,” you begin, turning to Felix. “Last night was fun and all, but I’m still working a job. This doesn’t just make amends or something. It was great catching up, but respectfully, I really don’t want to see you again.”

Felix nods a little, and then he hoists something over his arm. It’s the first time you take notice of it- a black crossbody satchel, draped over one arm, his hand resting casually on the zipper.

“Then I suppose getting help for my project is a no?”

You narrow your eyes at him, gesturing to the bag with a tilt of your head. “What’s in the bag?”

“You don’t get to know if you don’t help me.”

“Just tell me.”

“Promise you’ll help me.”

“Felix-”

He holds the bag a little further away from his body, effectively shielding it from your view and shaking his head. “And it was such a good surprise, too.”

“Just tell me what’s in the stupid bag!”

Felix finally holds the bag out in front of him, unzipping it and carefully pulling out its contents. He reveals a digital camera to you, slinging the strap over his neck and holding it up to squint into the lens. “Smile!”

“What- that’s it?” You question, shielding your face from his view. “How does this pertain to me?”

“I’m photographing the town,” he replies, fidgeting with the lens in his hands. “I need some help.”

“Why would you need my help with that? I’m not a photographer.”

“Yeah but you know this town, and all of its little quirks.”

“There’s a maps app on your phone for a reason, Felix.”

Felix gets quiet again as he fidgets with the lens on his camera, doing nothing particularly useful as he prays you’ll change your answer. And he’s not lying- he does need to photograph this town, and all of its hidden gems for his creative project this semester. But he would be lying if he said having you keep him company wasn’t all he thought about when he went to bed last night, and woke up this morning and inevitably found himself back at your record shop.

“You used to be the best model,” Felix says just above a whisper, letting his camera hang loosely at his waist now. “I still have all my film photos of you.”

The room gets a little quiet as you meet his gaze, not missing the way his eyes seem to soften into a somber expression. He’s always had this way of begging- pleading for what he wants, and you’ve very seldom been able to say no to him. Seeing him stand in front of you now, heavy camera in his small hands and a dream circling his mind, you know the fact still stands true.

“If I do this for you, this is the last favor I run you.”

His lips pull into a toothy smile, his eyes forming little crescents as he nods eagerly.

“I promise. I won’t ask you for anything else.”

When Chris reenters the room, he shoots you a questioning look, which you wave off with a casual roll of your eyes.

“What time are you off today?” Felix asks, and Chris purposely nudges you as he passes by.

“Later. Just come by at closing or something.”

“Yeah, I can do that. Do you want me to bring a coffee or anything-”

“See you at closing, Felix,” you respond with a smile, and you gesture back to the door.

He nods, seeing himself out, camera firmly grasped in his two hands as he waves again through the window.

Felix drives the same shitty car he did when you last knew him. Its chipped navy blue exterior clashes horribly with the beige leather seats, the inside tainted by the permanent odor of cigarettes from its previous owner, Felix making futile efforts to mask the smell with pine tree air fresheners. The seatbelts are frayed, the legroom is nearly nonexistent and the live radio is completely busted, with the exception of the CD player.

“All jazz?” You question, shuffling through a neat book of Felix’s CD collection.

“Yeah,” Felix replies, two hands gripping the steering wheel as he adjusts in his seat. “They’re mostly just whatever’s cheapest.”

“I can tell,” you say with a chuckle, reaching the last page, where Four Decades of Jazz now occupies a sleeve of its own. You pop the CD into the player, turning the volume up a few notches and sitting back comfortably as the melodic tune of a saxophone fills the space around you.

“What’s this next place again?” Felix asks, as you shut your eyes and listen to the jazzy beat.

You’ve stopped at three locations already, all spots in Ember you’re particularly fond of. The old bridge that runs over train tracks, a narrow pathway into another world in late evenings. It’s always surrounded by starlings, which flock when the trains pass through and chirp songs that mirror the train’s cacophonous whistle.

The cathedral just north of your record shop, which you don’t attend regularly like the other town-goers do, but always greets you graciously with its towering stained glass windows and crested walls.

And a now abandoned grocery store just a few blocks away, the walls on the back now housing impressive graffiti murals and doodles.

“This last one is a more scenic spot,” you finally respond, opening your eyes as his car passes over a speed bump. “It’s my favorite one.”

Felix just nods as he continues driving, the road narrowing into a one-way route, the area surrounded by wet grassland and barely visible amidst the thick fog.

“What’s the whole premise of this project?” You ask him, realizing you haven’t quite figured out what part you play in this, anyway.

Felix is silent for a moment, his hands rotating over the wheel as he turns into another narrow road.

“It’s just a photography project. About observing your surroundings.”

“Why does it have to be here?”

And he smiles, chuckling lightly to himself, as he reaches a hand out and sprawls his palm over your mouth.

“You ask so many questions! You haven’t changed at all.”

You respond in muffled laughter, prying his hand off your mouth with two hands and shoving it back toward the steering wheel.

“I’m just curious!”

Your shared giddy laughter fills the car for several minutes, exchanging amused glances as he pulls into an open parking lot and circles around to look for a spot. And you let your fingertips graze along your cheek, briefly, remembering the sensation of his hand on you very well.

The fourth spot is a spacious grassland just past the hills, not necessarily a hidden gem by the town’s standards, but a place you discovered shortly after you moved out here. It requires hopping a fence to access, jogging down a steep dirt path and then marching back up a grassy hill to make it to your “sweet spot”- or a little dip in the top of the hill, perfect for setting up a picnic blanket and sitting upon for hours.

And of course the best part about it- the view. The whole town is visible from up here, the little buildings and shops you know so intimately an entirely different perspective from this height. Sometimes you imagine what you look like from this view- just a tiny speck of a human in a town not much bigger, crossing back and forth between your apartment, the diner and the record shop.

“You got it?” You ask Felix as he hoists himself up the last stretch of grass, balancing his camera in his hands and dusting off his jeans.

“Yeah,” he replies, coming around to occupy the spot next to you on the grass. You sit back on your hands, your legs crossed at the ankles as you take in the view you know so well. Felix sits cross-legged, toying with the lens of his camera as he prepares to snap a few photos.

“It’s nice up here,” he comments, filling the silence with the clicking noises of his camera.

“Yeah,” you respond shortly, your gaze fixed on the record shop. “It’s a pretty special place.”

He turns the lens, bringing his camera up and snapping a series of photos as you watch him out of your peripheral vision.

“How’d you find it?” Felix asks, scanning the photos and going to take another set.

“I get around,” you reply with a smile, keeping your answer short.

He takes one last set of photos, angling his camera at different sides, and when he’s done, he carefully places the camera in his carrier bag and leans back on his hands, too.

“You really have things figured out here,” Felix says a little quietly, turning to look at you while you keep your gaze straight ahead.

“I didn’t have a choice. It was up to me to keep things going.”

“And… how’s your mom?” He replies quietly.

You shake your head, adjusting your position so that you’re sitting cross-legged, too.

“I don’t know. Last I heard she was out west. New boyfriend or something.”

Felix nods reluctantly, not wanting to press the issue further.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he chimes in suddenly. “I hope you didn’t leave thinking that.”

“It’s fine,” you reply, brushing him off.

“No, listen to me,” Felix continues, turning to face you. “I know you hate talking about it. And I won’t bring it up again. But none of this was your fault. And that summer I wanted so badly to fix everything and take away your pain, and I just… I couldn’t. And I’m sorry.”

You don’t say anything to him, fidgeting with a blade of grass on the ground below you and reminding yourself to keep it together. Don’t cry. Don’t feel.

“You’re doing that thing again,” Felix says bluntly, like he can read your thoughts.

“What thing-”

“That thing. Where you don’t let yourself feel.”

“I feel a lot of things, Felix.”

“Then why haven’t we talked about it yet?”

“Talked about about what?”

“Why you left,” he finally finishes, huffing frustratedly. “Why are we not addressing it? Am I supposed to just act like it didn’t happen?”

“Felix, I really think-”

“You said you would stay and fight for what was ahead of us. And then you disappeared on me. You know how hard it was to go on with my life like you weren’t a missing person for all I knew? You didn’t even call.”

“I changed my number,” you say quietly.

“Yeah, I figured that much after three years.”

Felix gets quiet again, shaking his head as he turns his gaze back to the view. You don’t say anything for a moment, his words swirling in your mind as your heart beats erratically. There’s so much to say- so much you want to explain to him. But the words are caught in the back of your throat, dissipating with every passing second you fail to vocalize them. He glances at you again, hoping you’ll come around- but you don’t, your gaze now transfixed on the blade of grass that rolls between the pads of your fingers.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk about it,” Felix finally says. “And… I’m sorry.”

A copper sunset falls over the buildings below you, casting shadows around you that dance along the blades of grass and disappear over the rolling hills. They shift from massive charcoal forms into smaller shapes that sway with the setting sun, quick to get away from you and disappear when they graze over your seated figures.

“You know there was a fire here, like, 50 years ago,” you say to Felix, still averting eye contact.

“There was?”

“Mhm. See there?” You question, pointing out a vast, empty field and gesturing to the buildings across from it.

“It started east, and it traveled west. And everything there burned, and a few people even died.”

“Wow,” Felix responds. “I didn’t know that. That’s terrible.”

“A lot of the neighboring cities didn’t know this place existed. But when they heard about the fire, many of them came out here, just to donate and help build things back up. Even the record shop burned. The one we have now is a lot smaller.”

He nods as he listens to your story, glancing back at the town as he pictures the blazing flames that ate away most of its structure back then.

“I always think about it,” you continue. “Everyday I imagine how hard it must’ve been to pick up and build things from the ground up again. Chris’ grandfather did it, with the record shop. And the diner did it. And they’re still doing it, keeping things running the way they are.”

Felix nods again, turning to look at you as you watch the town.

“No one could’ve prevented the fire. They could pick up and move on, but things still burned before they did, and people still died.”

Felix begins to say something, his lips parting, but his breath hitches in the back of his throat, and he settles in silence as you finish.

“I’m somewhere there,” you say to him after a silent pause. “I’m somewhere between the fire and the mending.”

And he doesn’t have to say anything else, understanding that this is your way of explaining things.

As darkness begins to fall over you both, you think back to the last time you sat with him like this, on the old hill in your hometown, waiting for a sunrise that never came around. You had passed the time kissing and touching each other so desperately, speaking visions of a new life into existence and making hushed promises to embrace the end together. An end that came to fruition without him, one you ran from before could look it in its face and brave it with Felix by your side.

But here on the familiarity of your hill, looking over a town that burned like the flames inside of you do now, you know there’s good, there are people who will make the journey to help you rebuild no matter what their reservations previously were. But it also takes time, and patience, and the strength to admit things have turned to ash in the first place.

And sometimes, like this town, things and people turn to Ember, a dim glowing reminder of what happened always present still.

Soul-searching capital of the world. 6:00pm. On the cusp of winter.

“Think you’re ready?” You query at Felix, pulling the straw out from your vanilla milkshake to lick the other end.

“I think so,” he responds, sorting through a stack of photos on the table.

“Felix, your whipped cream,” Yena says as she turns the corner and sets a small bowl down in front of him.

“Thank you,” Felix replies with a small smile, already spooning a generous amount into his coffee.

The last two weeks have been cordial between the two of you, a sense of normalcy finally present during your time together as Felix wrapped up his photography shots and developed them at the convenience store in town. The pictures are beautiful, little precious neutral-toned glimpses into your everyday life and the town you love so much. It feels like Felix finally understands you, neither pressing you for answers anymore, nor trying to initiate anything more between the two of you like you’d feared. And although the photography sessions have spanned a little more time than you’d originally anticipated they would, you’re well aware this will all be over soon, and then you can get back to the normal, simple life you lead, without having to look introspectively at the state of things. You’re fine, and Felix doesn’t force you to think about it anymore.

“I just have to submit these, and then I’ll be done for the semester,” Felix explains.

“Are you staying in town for the holidays?” You ask suddenly, realizing you’ve never even inquired what his plans are for after this photography project is finished.

“I don’t know,” Felix responds, glancing at the stack of photos. “I don’t really have any solid plans.”

You don’t miss the way he fidgets with the ring on his finger, averting your gaze and swallowing nervously. It’s another habit Felix possesses, getting you to drag him along practically anywhere, but it’s hard to say no when he makes every effort to be so polite and forgiving.

You sigh deeply, praying you won’t regret the words before they leave your mouth.

“Look, a couple friends I have throw a party every year around the holidays. We just get together to smoke and talk. You can come, if you want.”

Felix’s expression brightens almost instantly, meeting your gaze again with big hopeful eyes and a beaming smile.

“Really?”

“Don’t make it weird,” you say, chuckling softly. “It’s just a small thing to unwind.”

“I’ll be there,” Felix responds with a nod. “And I won’t make it weird, I promise.”

“So…” Yena teases, sliding into the booth across from you and raising her eyebrows. “What’s… going on between you two?”

“Who?” You question, cocking your head slightly.

“Oh come on,” she emphasizes. “You guys are attached at the hip. We barely get girl time together anymore. He can’t just be an old friend.”

“He is,” you voice back. “We just go way back, that’s all.”

“He’s cute,” she says, glancing out the window at Felix’s lanky figure making his way back to his car. You both watch as he struggles to get his car open, yanking on the door handle a little hard and stumbling back.

“Well he’s single,” you retort with a soft chuckle. “So if you ever get tired of Chris, he’s your guy.”

“I see the way he looks at you,” Yena explains, as she pulls out her notepad and adds her tips for the evening. “Like he has stars in his eyes or something. I remember when Chris and I met, he was a lot like that.”

“Yena, we’re really not-”

“I know,” she says, shaking her head with a smile. “Feelings, feelings. Yuck. I’m just saying.”

You turn your gaze toward the window again, watching as Felix starts his car and backs out of the parking lot, strands of his ebony hair falling into his eyes as he checks behind him.

And Yena smiles, taking notice out of her peripheral vision at the stars in your eyes, too.

Seungmin’s annual holiday party is a tradition you joined in on the first year you moved out here. Working at the record shop your first year, you had no friends, no family and you were completely isolated from the town when you weren’t picking up shifts. He was a regular customer with a knack for old rock records, and he pitied the shifts you worked while the rest of the town mingled at their annual holiday events you’d hear so much about. An invitation to his holiday party was a big feat for you, not only because it was one of the first events you attended here, but because it allowed you to spend the holidays alongside people again, something you hadn’t done since your father’s passing. And thus, Seungmin invites you back every year, never missing a chance to talk records with you and challenge you to eggnog shots.

“I just want to pop these in the trunk really quick,” you say as you open the car door on the passenger side and gesture for the key from Felix. “I usually lend Seungmin a few spare records we have-”

Felix hasn’t registered a word you’ve said, completely entranced by the way your short skirt hugs your hips, a black leather coat thrown over your shoulders and a different pair of sneakers than he’s used to seeing. It’s much different than how he’s normally seen you, dressed down in sweaters and baggy jeans.

And Felix looks particularly dashing, too, his ebony hair tied up again to display his impressive collection of ear piercings, a fitted leather jacket hugging his slim figure and black jeans that elongate his legs. You give him a once-over as he cranes his neck from the driver’s seat and tosses you the keys, unable to verbalize his regard for your outfit. But as you make your way around the car to the trunk, popping it open and placing Seungmin’s stack of records inside, he can’t help but stare in the interior view mirror at the way your skirt rides up when you bend over, exposing a little more of your thighs and leaving little to the imagination.

The drive to Seungmin’s is only a few blocks down from Ember Records, one which Felix completes while stealing very obvious glances at you and making every attempt to calm his erratically beating heart. You pretend the glances go unnoticed, keeping your gaze on the darkened road ahead and making small talk about the party. But you don’t miss the way Felix’s voice hitches in the back of his throat when he speaks, his trembling hands turning the wheel as he pulls into the cul-de-sac and puts the car in park.

And he wants nothing more than to stay here, with you, to sit in his dingy little car and talk with you about everything that happened, to assure you that you’re not alone in your process of mending- he’ll love you through it, regardless. But as Seungmin makes his way out the front door with a red solo cup in hand, calling loudly for you, Felix knows that’s not a possibility.

“Y/n!” Seungmin exclaims, a big toothy grin plastered on his face at the sight of you. He’s a bit taller than Felix is, long legs that frame his slim torso, and a chiseled jawline that makes Felix a little jealous. His voluminous chocolate tresses fall into his eyes as he speaks, and he uses a slender hand to push them away again, shooting you another flashy smile as he chuckles lightly.

“What’d you bring me this time?” He asks, balancing the presumed cup of alcohol in one hand as he watches you retreat to the trunk of the car.

“Couple rock, some alternative and that one artist you liked last time?”

“Hell yeah,” Seungmin replies, as he takes the records from your grasp and shuffles through them eagerly.

Felix clears his throat as he stands beside you, his hands shoved awkwardly in the pockets of his leather jacket as he waits for an introduction.

“Sorry,” you voice, stepping aside and gesturing to Felix.

“This is Felix. He’s an old friend of mine.”

Seungmin hardly looks up from his stack of records, just briefly glancing at Felix and giving him a small nod.

“Hey man. Cool to meet you.”

And Felix’s lips pull into a thin-lipped smile, averting his gaze, too, as he nods.

“Yeah. Same.”

Your eyes dart between Seungmin and Felix, both of them painfully awkward as they stand beside you, avoiding eye contact like some unspoken challenge and looming over you like you’re meant to be the host.

“Should we get inside?” You finally ask, wrapping your arms around yourself and gesturing to the house with a tilt of your head.

“Yeah, sorry,” Seungmin says with a soft chuckle, still averting Felix’s gaze and pivoting on his heel to begin toward the house. Felix gestures for you to follow, trailing behind you and doing his best to steady his nerves as the three of you finally make your way inside.

The house is already crowded for the evening, people standing just about everywhere, red cups in hand and joints pinched between their fingers. They exhale white clouds of smoke as they converse amongst themselves, their eyes all tainted red, as they let all the weed and alcohol consume their consciousness and instill a calm demeanor in themselves. Felix finds himself standing a little closer to you as you approach the sofa everyone’s sitting around, their bodies lazily slung over one another as they chat and drink.

“Y/n’s here,” Seungmin says, as he passes the sofa and heads into what Felix presumes to be his bedroom, with the stack of records in hand.

“Hey!” They call in misarticulated voices. You make your rounds, greeting each of them and exchanging brief anecdotes with them, while Felix remains standing with his hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed on the way you smile cheerfully and acquaint yourself with everyone in the room.

You look so relaxed, so well-adjusted to your new life in this little town. As stories are thrown back and forth between yourself and the guests, Felix wonders how long you’ve known them to be able to converse with them to such an intimate extent. They share stories of your shifts at work, stories of previous parties, tales of past lovers they’ve had and late nights all of you spent up in this exact household. Felix can’t help but wonder what he was doing during those moments- probably studying for a test at university, or hooking up with someone he didn’t exactly care for. And by nighttime, he was likely up thinking of you- pondering where you’d gone, what you were up to. If you thought about him just as much as he thought about you.

Part of him wants to be angry, listening in on your stories like this- you’re laughing about parties, exchanging tales of difficult customers- moments that occurred while he was up waiting for you, hoping one day you’d change your mind about everything and return. Felix swore every sunset began to look the same without you there to watch them alongside him, every sunrise much bleaker than the last- even the stars he’d gaze at through his window seemed to lose their meaning.

But watching you like this, a smile that hasn’t left your face once since entering the house and the familiar sound of your harmonious laughter, he knows maybe you did the right thing, after all. Maybe Felix wasn’t a part of this plan life had for you- and perhaps, it’s time to come to terms with the fact that he never will be.

“Felix?” You question, effectively snapping him out of the trance he’s fallen into just by watching you.

“Huh?” He responds, aware that the row of guests on the couch appear to be waiting for him to say something.

“How long are you here for?” One of them repeats, his stare a little cold as he raises his eyebrows and prompts an answer out of Felix.

“Oh, uh… I’m not sure yet. Just for the holidays, I guess.”

They nod in collective unison, no one saying a word as they gauge how nervous he seems to be. And you shoot them an apologetic smile, also clocking Felix’s awkward demeanor as he remains silent and avoids carrying on with the conversation.

“Anyone got a light?” You finally break the silence, and everyone chimes in to answer, offering you joints from between their fingers and fishing colorful lighters out from their pockets. You take a seat on the rug, patting the space next to you, and Felix follows your lead, crossing his legs in the spot beside you and taking a hit from the joint you offer him.

Felix feels himself calm a little as the mellow sensation begins to wash over him, his worries dissipating as he listens to you begin to share another story with the group of people. And his mind wanders back to the past, contemplating your actions and mirroring them with the current state of things.

Three hours into the party, you’re both a little buzzed, feeling much more mellow than you had upon entering, despite taking only one hit from a joint. The room is heavy with thick clouds of smoke, the pungent smell of weed and alcohol present at every corner of the room. Just sitting here and talking gets you high, and you find yourself enjoying the company alongside Felix.

It reminds you of back then, when you and Felix used to attend parties together and run off to random bedrooms for a quick fuck. You’d often find yourself leaving early to spend time just between the two of you, hitting all your signature spots to catch sunrises or binge greasy food. And Felix feels much more relaxed around you now, making small talk with the guests and observing the way you try your hardest to include him in the conversations. As Seungmin takes another hit from his joint, he slouches back in the concave leather of the couch, his gaze darting over the two of you as Felix eyes you curiously.

“So what’s the deal between you two?” He asks, narrowing his eyes as he awaits a response.

“We’re just old friends-” Felix begins to say, but you interrupt him before Seungmin can catch the answer.

“He’s my best friend.”

Felix’s head snaps in your direction, unsure if maybe he heard you incorrectly, or if you’re genuinely claiming that Felix, whose guts you’ve hated for the better part of three years now, is your best friend.

“Best friends?” Seungmin repeats in slurred speech, and you give him a nod.

“Yeah,” you say again confidently. “He’s my best friend.”

And Felix’s lips pull into an involuntary smile, the tips of his ears turning a bright shade of red as he reaffirms your words.

When you turn to smile at him, he pats the space in front of him, extending his legs so that he’s created a spot for you to settle in. And in your buzzed, mellowed out state, you comply, scooting back and slotting yourself between his long legs, letting yourself lean back against his chest and shutting your eyes briefly. Felix reluctantly brings two hands around you, holding you a little closer to him, but you don’t protest the action, the familiar sensation of his arms around you feeling comfortable and safe like it always used to.

“I’d think you guys were fucking if I didn’t know any better,” Seungmin voices, joining a chorus of laughter as he brings the joint up to his lips again.

“So what if we were?” You retort casually, feeling the way Felix’s embrace gets a little tighter around you.

“Nothing wrong with it. It’s just easy to see through you guys. Especially the way this Danny from Grease wannabe looks at you.”

And Felix’s eyes furrow at the statement, well aware of the fact that Seungmin’s begun to get a little aggressive, but not wanting to incite anything that might jeopardize your friendships.

“I should probably go,” Felix says just above a whisper, his mouth hovering just over your shoulder so that you can hear him over all the noise.

“What? No,” you reply, turning your head to meet his gaze. His eyes are wide, his lip trembling a little as he speaks. Felix isn’t confrontational- a fact you’re very aware of.

“I don’t want to start anything-” he begins to say, and you place a hand on his forearm comfortingly.

“Then let’s both get out of here. I’m kinda bored, anyway.”

He’s surprised at the offer- and undoubtedly moved by the prospect that you’ve chosen to stick with him instead of stay here at the party with all your friends. And because he wants to spend the time with you, he doesn’t protest when you turn to voice your decisions to the crowd.

“Well Danny from Grease and I are getting out of here. So you can let your imaginations run wild since you’re so obsessed with us.”

Seungmin chuckles lightly, too stoned to ask you to stay, and candidly, to care about any of it.

“My old records are on the kitchen table,” Seungmin says, as he shuts his eyes and exhales a generous cloud of smoke. “Catch you guys later.”

“Where are we going?” Felix asks, as he puts the car into park and watches you unbuckle your seatbelt.

“I have to put the records I lent to Seungmin back in the shop. It’ll only take like two minutes.”

He nods in response, his gaze fixed on the darkened record shop, not used to seeing it at this hour.

“You coming?” You ask him, gesturing to the door, and Felix snaps out of his tranced state, unbuckling his seatbelt, too.

As you twist your keys and push the door open, Felix feels a bit unsettled seeing the shop at this hour. The shelves are pitch dark at the hour, the usually colorful vinyl all looking indistinguishable as they sit in stacks against each other and gather dust. The neon sign above the CD wall is shut off, not even the gentle hum of the bulb present amongst the silence. And the doorway to the back room looks like something out of a horror movie, seeming as though someone- or something, could pop out at any given moment. It feels wrong being here- and he knows he probably shouldn’t be, but he’s not in the place to leave your side just yet.

“Don’t turn on the lights,” you say to Felix when you enter, him following closely behind you. “I don’t want anyone to know we’re here.”

You begin toward the back room, glancing over your shoulder to ensure Felix is following. And he is, albeit reluctantly.

The back room is much smaller than Felix had originally anticipated it to be. It smells of paint, looking far more run-down than the rest of the store, and he’s not sure how anyone can take a lunch break back here considering the lack of table space and seating options.

“This is the break room?” Felix asks, squinting his eyes when you pull the chain beside the medallion lamp and illuminate the room with a dim, orange glow.

“Yeah,” you reply, now shuffling through Seungmin’s old records and putting them in their respective genres. “This is where I eat my sandwiches.”

He chuckles softly, running his hands over the series of music posters pinned to the cork walls, taking in the view you see everyday at noon.

“There’s a record player in here!” Felix exclaims, bending down to examine the 6200 marantz wood turntable on a little cart, just to the left of the dining table.

“Well this is a record shop, you reply with a chuckle, slotting the last few of Seungmin’s vinyl into the shelf. “It wouldn’t make sense if we didn’t have one.”

“Does it work?” Felix asks, tracing the silicone grooves of the platter with his fingers.

“Of course,” you respond, finally turning around to meet his gaze. “Pick something.”

Felix scans the shelves at the neat rows of vinyl, all packed together and indistinguishable from their thin colorful spines alone. He pulls one out, examining illustrations of flowers on the cover, and then slots it back into its respective home. Another flaunts an abstract pattern of cool-toned hues, which Felix observes briefly, and places it back where it belongs, too.

“I can’t decide,” he voices plainly, his eyes scanning over the rows that span the entire length of the room, some of them visibly much older than the rest.

Your fingers graze the spines, too; letting the cracked ridges serve as indication of their age, and then you pinch one between the pads of your fingers, pulling it out to examine the cover. It’s painted sky blue, with images of autumnal trees that stand tall and contrast the gentle hues nicely. In bold red cursive text, the title is scrawled at the top, followed by a brief list of credits and arrangements.

“The Seasons, by Tchaikovsky,” you read aloud.

You recall putting this one on the shelf after a donation a few weeks prior, never having listened to it yourself.

“Will you play it?” Felix asks, and you nod your head in response, already pulling out the black disc and placing it neatly on the record platter. You flip it on, and then bring the tonearm to a random spot, letting the cue lever lower it into place and begin playing. After a few seconds of fidgeting with the volume, the soft sounds of piano begin to fill the room, a somber arrangement that slows into gentler, discoordinate notes.

“This one’s probably winter,” you say to Felix, hoisting yourself up on the table and sitting on your hands. “It sounds sad.”

“Yeah,” he responds, his eyes fixated on the slow turn of the disc, a soft crackling noise emitting as the tonearm runs over the grooves.

Felix suddenly reaches for the bag slung over his shoulder, unzipping the pouch and pulling out his camera.

“What are you doing?” You ask with a soft chuckle, amused at the way he so quickly rushes to adjust the settings.

“I want to take a picture. It’s a nice record player.”

And with the rhythmic click of the lens, he snaps a series of photos, angling himself a bit higher to capture every moving part of the old thing. When he’s finished, he examines the photos himself, a small smile tugging at his lips as he looks over the moment in time captured so perfectly on the little screen of his device. Without warning you, Felix then holds the camera up once more, snapping a quick photo of you and chuckling softly to himself.

“Stop!” You say through laughter, holding a hand up to shield your face as he snaps a few more. “Felix, I’m serious!”

“It’s just for me!” Felix exclaims, bringing his camera down again and scrolling through the candid photos.

As he examines them, you notice how close he is to you now, standing in between your legs that hang lazily off the edge of the table, his frame towering over yours.

He meets your gaze again after a moment, taking notice of the proximity, too, and swallowing nervously.

“You used to let me take pictures of you,” Felix says after a moment of silence.

“That was so long ago,” you reply with a smile. “Things are different now.”

His eyes dart over your bare face, your eyes a little hooded from exhaustion and the mellowed state that overtake your body. It’s a sight familiar to him, still, the way you keep your words short when you’re not asking him questions, nothing except a small knowing smile on your face. But it’s one he’s thought about for so long, painting pictures of you in his head and scanning old photos, like your physical state would somehow come to fruition the more he studied it.

“Please let me take a few more,” Felix says, his voice dropping an octave as his eyes flicker between your lips and your gaze. He knows you’re going to say no, go away, or some other version of it.

But this time, you don’t, taking careful note of the way he so politely asks for what he wants. Memories of him have plagued your mind all night, the feeling of his hands around you still lingering on your body, recalling the way he used to ask so politely to fuck you in the bathroom of house parties like you wouldn’t say yes every single time.

And in the absence of your words, you slide your coat off, discarding it on the table behind you and keeping your gaze locked on his, in just a tight-fitting t-shirt and skirt.

Felix brings his camera up immediately, lest you change your mind like he knows you probably will, and adjusts his lens again, before snapping a single photo of you, sitting so innocently on the table in the back room of the record shop. Your expression remains unchallenged, your eyes softening a little as he pulls away to look at you again. And this time, you let two hands cross over your torso, pulling up the corners of your shirt and letting it ride up until it’s nearly off of you. Felix doesn’t waste any time, bringing his camera to eye-level again and snapping a photo eagerly, his eyes wide as he observes the sight of your hardened nipples through the lens.

The discoordinate piano music still plays from behind him, its tempo increasing gradually as you let one hand position itself over the mound of your breast, kneading gently as Felix positions his camera to zoom in. He snaps another set of photos, bringing his camera even closer to capture you at every erotic angle, and then he pauses briefly, as your hands move to your skirt.

You tug gently, not yet pulling it off, and his photos capture the moment you finally undo the small zipper on the side, revealing the hem of your lace panties to him and looping a finger through them. He feels his breath hitch in his throat, wanting to clarify that he’s not forcing you to do any of this, but too mesmerized to ask you to stop.

And then before he can verbalize his thoughts, you’re tugging the skirt down, too, pulling it off over your sneakers to discard it on the floor below you. Felix can’t look away from the sight, your body hugged so delicately in lace lingerie, your legs parted a little for his photos and practically begging him to come touch you. And yet you say nothing, amused at the sight of Felix gasping over your sitting figure, letting him take the reins and do whatever it is he pleases, even if the implications are clouded by your past.

Felix’s slender hands snap a few more photos, focusing meticulously on your clothed core and your hardened nipples for his own personal use. And then he sets his camera down at his waist again, pulling the camera strap off his body and shoving it back into his satchel. When he turns to say something, he can’t, still entranced by the familiar feeling in his stomach at the body he’s bore witness to so many times.

“Felix,” you say softly, coaxing him to come a little closer.

He obliges, lips parted nervously, as he takes another step forward and allows your legs to rest casually on his.

“I meant to ask you,” you say, cocking your head slightly, bringing one hand up to caress his cheek with your thumb.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice just barely above a whisper. “Anything.”

“Where have all your freckles gone?” You finally ask, observing the way his skin still runs completely clear around his cheeks and eyes, not a hint of a galaxy visible to you, even at this proximity to him.

“Makeup,” Felix responds with a soft chuckle. “They didn’t match my new look.”

And you bring your other hand to his other cheek, grazing your thumbs over his soft skin, before pressing down a little harder and wiping the foundation off of him. He’s right- the beige stars you’d remembered so well begin to appear once again, scattered generously across his button nose and his big eyes. He lets you rub it off of him, not taking his eyes off of yours as you rid him clean of the stuff and then graze your thumbs over him again, in much gentler motions.

“That’s better,” you reply, your eyes darting between his now visible freckles and his plump, parted lips. “They’re my favorite part about you.”

And Felix doesn’t respond, his mind running rampant with thoughts and intentions, as he brings his lips a little closer to yours and finally kisses you, like he’s been dreaming of doing all winter.

You reciprocate instantly, your hands cupping the back of his neck as his lips work against yours, desperately leaning into you and letting his hands snake down the sides of your waist. His kisses are familiar, so reminiscent of years past when he’d kiss you exactly like this, in the proximity of whatever house party bathroom you could run off to and let him have his way with you. And Felix remembers the sensation all too well, this mutual pining of silently yearning for each other in the presence of other strangers until he could confess his love to you through whispered love making sessions when you were finally alone. Felix whimpers softly between kisses, as your hands snake up his t-shirt and graze along the toned flesh of his abdomen. You hum in response, letting your hands tangle in his hair now as he presses further into you and works gentle kisses down your neck. Both your hands find his silky ponytail, pulling off his hair tie in one swift motion and tossing it aside so that his long tresses hang loosely in front of his face, and you tangle your fingers in his ebony roots, tugging slightly as you pull him into your embrace and feel him trail back up to your lips. He pulls away momentarily to gauge your expression, worried you might ask him to stop, but your eyes are wide with anticipation, your breaths labored as you pull him into you again and arch your back into him. You can feel Felix smile into the kiss, satisfied with the turn of events from tonight's party- he’d been so certain you would leave with Seungmin, or shut him out again. But here in the dimly lit room of the record shop, your lips on his as your hands trail lower to unbuckle his belt, there’s no denying you want this just as badly as he does.

And Felix can’t help but wonder how long have things been this way- had something changed at the party? Something that would’ve led you to call him a “best friend” rather than an old one, leave the party with him and even drag him to the record shop after hours, knowing very well you could’ve come alone? Something that instilled an equal sense of desperation in you, to want his lips on yours as badly as he does right now, your bodies yearning for each other like you once did, as you undo his belt buckle and snake it out from his belt loops to discard it on the floor?

He’s not entirely sure- but he also can’t think straight when your hands are tugging at the hem of his jeans, begging him to take them off and mirror the same level of undress you are now. What he can think about are your lips working against his, the gasps that escape you when he grazes his fingers down your sides between kisses and the forte echo of Tchaicovsky’s piano record filling the room with sultry harmonies.

As Felix unbuttons his jeans, you help him tug them down so that they’re pooled around his ankles, the two of you now equal parts undressed and grabbing desperately at the now exposed flesh. You let your hand find Felix’s, wrapping your fingers around his slender wrist, and then bringing it to your panties, where you rest his hand against your clothed core and allow him to graze over your growing wetness.

“Jesus,” Felix exhales, pressing his middle and ring finger down against your core and rubbing in slow, back and forth motions. “I forgot how horny you get when you smoke.”

And you chuckle lightly, not breaking eye contact as he continues to rub you over your lace panties, the wetness against your thin fabric increasing with every gentle movement of his fingers.

“Will you do something about it?” You ask sweetly, one hand reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.

Felix cocks his head slightly, a smug expression pulling on his lips as he works you a little faster now.

“What do you want me to do about it?”

You chuckle in response, growing impatient as he teases your aching clit over the fabric of your panties and keeps his gaze on yours. He’s calculated with his movements, rubbing in gentle motions, pressing down firmly with every other stroke to watch the way your legs squirm desperately around him and ache for more.

“Don’t make me ask,” you say shyly, your hips rutting toward him to chase the friction of his fingers.

Felix’s gaze drops to your core, his lips parted with curiosity at the sight of you now rocking gently toward him, letting your movements do the pleasing as he almost entirely stops rubbing you.

“What if I wanted you to ask for it?” Felix says briskly, a serious expression on his face as he pulls his hand away from you momentarily.

“Felix, you already know what I-”

“Ask for it,” Felix interrupts, keeping his gaze locked on yours now. His eyes are hooded with lust, his eyebrows slanted in a challenging expression as he waits for you to say something. And he knows he’s never been one to make you ask for it- in fact, he was usually the one doing all the begging, whining when you’d take too long to touch him or begging you to let him finish. But coupled with the recent development of his new look, you can’t help but wonder if it’s not the only thing that’s changed about him.

“Ask for it,” Felix states again. “Or I’ll get dressed again.”

And you can’t bring yourself to, still riddled with questions at the peculiar phenomenon of Felix making you ask for sex, desperate to ask if this is a one-time occurrence, or if he’s intent on getting you to beg for his cock from here on out. Does he make all his hookups beg for it like this? Do they oblige without question, or are they just as taken aback with it as you are?

When Felix takes note of your silence, he doesn’t waste another second, pulling up his jeans again and beginning to work the buttons once more. And you feel your heartbeat quicken at the sight, disheartened at the action and still desperate for him to touch you, to fuck you, like your body’s been craving the past hour you’ve been back here.

In a desperate attempt to stop him, your hands reach out, grasping his wrists in yours and watching the way his cock remains tented under the denim fabric of his jeans.

“Please,” you say shortly, a sheepish pout on your face.

“Please what?” He responds, cocking his head to gauge your reaction.

“Please would you fuck me?” You finally say, exhaling frustratedly and flickering your gaze away from him, almost embarrassed to be asking him like this. But Felix’s lips pull into a toothy grin, leaning back into you for a kiss and beginning to work his jeans off of him again.

“Was that so hard?” He mumbles against your lips teasingly.

“Mhm,” you murmur back against him, hearing his jeans pool around his ankles once again as his hands cup around the small of your back.

“It was?” Felix queries, one hand looping through the hem of your panties and grazing along the elastic. “If I remember correctly, we used to play this little game all the time.”

You gasp a little as he pulls the elastic between the pads of his fingers, letting it snap against your delicate skin again and rest against your reddened skin momentarily. Felix observes the way you say nothing, waiting for him to undress you, touch you- anything, without so much as a plea for him to do so. And he’s undeniably roused seeing you this desperate for him, adjusting your position on the table to calm your pulsating core, your hands searching for him and your lips trying so hard to keep purchase on his. Felix feels his cock swell at the confirmation that perhaps you have been thinking of this just as much as he has, and that maybe leaving was the hardest thing you ever did, the way he always hoped it was.

“Are you sure about this?” Felix asks before he can ponder the words.

And in painfully slow movements, you find the hem of your elastic waistband yourself, tugging it down and breaking away from the kiss to snake it off your ankles and discard it onto the floor. The sight alone is confirmation enough for him- your pussy is glistening with wetness, your folds coated generously in your own arousal and your aching clit a robust shade of pink as you wait for him to finish his little game of neglect. Felix can’t even respond at the sight of your cunt on display for him, too engrossed in the familiarity of what it looked like all those past years, exactly like this, begging for him and only him. On the counters of bathroom sinks, in empty fields, in the back of your car and even when his fingers were shoved in it under blankets in a room full of people. Always taking him so wholly and effortlessly, like your cunt was made to have him fill it, squirming around him with hushed moans and whimpers, your bodies intertwining into one tangled mess of pleasure and pure, unadulterated love for one another.

“Felix, please fuck me,” You repeat, a small smirk on your face as you watch Felix stumble over his words, his cock fully erect in the fabric of his boxers.

And Felix can’t answer you, already attaching his lips to yours again and letting his hands come around your back to unclasp your bra. His motions are much quicker now, no lingering intention to make you ask for it or confirm your stance- but every intention to fuck you, fill you, like he knows you deserve.

When your bra is unfastened, he tosses it aside, letting his hands find the mounds of your breasts and kneading them with steady motions. You moan into his mouth as he works you, your legs wrapping around his hips to press his clothed cock into your wetness and grind softly against you. Felix winces at the sensation, doing his best to stave off a premature orgasm while you rut your hips gently against him and let your head fall back in pleasure. And mirroring the pleasurable sensation of his thumbs rubbing circular motions over your nipples, he brings his mouth down to your chest, taking a breast in his mouth and sucking with little whimpers. Your head comes forward to meet his gaze again, his big, innocent eyes locked on yours as he takes the flesh between his lips and swirls his tongue around your nipple. His plump lips remain locked around your mound, alternating between gentle kisses and then back to sucking on your nipple, like he might coax fluids out of it if he tries enough. And he looks so guiltless, so incorrupt as he lets his eyelids flutter shut and your nipple graze his teeth. His actions almost don’t match this darkened, grunge appearance he now sports- and you swear you can still see the blonde locks that once framed his wide eyes and his bright appearance.

As Felix moves to your other nipple, you wrap your legs tighter around him, swaying your hips in gentle rocking motions to stimulate his clothed erection against your wetness and provide some relief to both of you. And he arches his eyebrows up in pleasure, stifled moans escaping his lips as he finally releases your breast from his mouth, a string of saliva connecting you still, as his gaze drops to his boxers.

Hard- he’s unbearably hard underneath his boxers, the tip of his cock kissing the constraining fabric of his boxers that ruts against your exposed clit and sends waves of pleasure through both your listless bodies. And Felix knows if he doesn’t fuck you now, he might finish at the sight of you alone, your cheeks flushed a dark shade of pink and your cunt arching desperately into him as you wait for him to undress. So he does- one hand finds the elastic waistband of his black boxers, pulling them over his cock and wincing as it grazes against the precum dribbling down his tip. You run your hands over his toned abs, letting your eyes meet his cock as it protrudes so eagerly for you, and it looks almost painful how hard he is for you, reddening at the tip and dripping with beads of his preemptive arousal.

Felix leans in to kiss you again, and as he does, the bare flesh of his cock finally grazes your clit, running smoothly over your arousal and making you clench around nothing. You gasp at the sensation, scooting closer to him as your clit finally gets some attention from him, and Felix smiles as he trails his kisses down to your neck. While he sucks little bruises along the flesh there, he brings a slender hand around the base of his cock, guiding his tip back to your clit and rubbing his length along your flesh with more pressure now, a fervent moan escaping your lips as he does. He glides so effortlessly along you, your arousal allowing him to move so freely against you, still eager for him to fill you up. And when his lips move back up to yours, his hand guides his tip back and forth again, now rubbing against your clit in steady motions. He mimics the way his fingers stimulate you, only it’s better like this, your cunt contracting as you prepare to take his length.

“Felix,” you whine, as his cock rubs back and forth over your wettened entrance.

“What is it?” He coos gently, smiling into you as saliva dribbles between your hungry mouths.

“Put it in,” you order plainly, parting your legs a little further to signify what it is you want so badly. And Felix already knows, pressing his tip into you just a mere centimeter to gauge your reaction, satisfied at the way you whimper and push yourself against him even further.

“Is this what you want?” Felix muses, holding his base to keep from sliding into you involuntarily.

“Yes,” you whine again, tangling your hands in his hair. “Just fuck me like you used to.”

And Felix feels his heartbeat quicken as the filthy memories grace his mind again, images of you exactly like this.

He says nothing, opting to end his teasing streak, as he finally steadies his hands on the sides of your waist and pushes into you, your sopping pussy taking him with complete ease. You let out a fervent moan at the feeling, your cunt clenching desperately around him as he works to bottom out inside of you and find his footing. His girth takes little to adjust to, but he’s long, taking a good minute or two until the base of his cock is disappearing inside of you and being coated in your arousal. Before even moving, his tip is grazing your cervix, the familiar feeling making your stomach turn with anticipation as you remember what it feels like.

Felix’s lips part in pleasure, his eyebrows arched up as he pulls out again and then thrusts just once, relishing in the way your pussy contracts around him again and takes him so perfectly. Your hands find purchase in his hair again, tangling in his ebony roots, as he pulls out a little, and then begins to move. His cock fills every inch of you so well, grazing every corner of your dripping cunt with such fullness, as his wet kisses work against your lips and coat your mouth in his needy saliva. Felix has always been a particularly vocal lover, you remember, as the room fills with his deep grunts and moans at every thrust. His fingers dig into your flesh, holding onto you with strength as your legs wrap around him to steady yourself and push him into you fully. Your bodies one again, your limbs tangled until it's discernible who is who atop the table like this. But when he slows his movements and kisses you tenderly, you don’t care about the implications, about the past or what this will mean for your future. All you care about is Felix inside of you like he used to be for most of your relationship, making up for all this wasted time as he fucks you and breathes heavy grunts into the shell of your ear.

“God, I missed this,” Felix breathes, his voice shaky as he continues to pump into you.

“Me too,” you moan back, lining his jaw with kisses as he moves a little faster.

“You used to let me take pictures of you,” Felix repeats for the second time this evening. “You remember? Used to touch yourself while I’d snap photos of you. God, the way your fingers would disappear into your tight little pussy. Had me begging to fuck you at the end of every session, baby.”

“I remember,” you voice back in labored breaths. “You’d fuck me so well. All you had to do was adjust that stupid lens and you had me dripping for you.”

“Fuck, baby,” Felix groans, shutting his eyes as he thrusts a little harder. “Gonna make me cum for you.”

“Yeah?” You echo, wrapping your legs a little tighter around him and crossing them at the ankles. “Will you fill me up like you used to?”

Felix nods as his eyes remain squeezed shut, the room teeming with the squelching sounds of his cock thrusting in and out of your cunt.

“Come on, baby,” you plead, one hand angling his face toward you to press repeated, chaste kisses to his lips. “Fill me up. I know you want to.”

“I do want to-”

“Cum for me,” you order, grazing your free hand over his abdomen and tracing little circles over his v-line.

And Felix’s cock twitches inside of you twice, signaling his nearing finish as he quickens his pace again, now fucking you with even more force and hitting your sensitive cervix with every thrust.

“I’ll let you take whatever pictures you want,” you say to him as you pull him close and nibble the lobe of his ear. “As long as you fuck me like this every time you’re finished.”

And the promise is all it takes for Felix to reach his orgasm, his cock twitching inside you once more before he spurts ropes of his warm cum inside of you, filling your cunt with copious amounts of his arousal for you and fucking every last drop back into you. Your pussy contracts at the sensation of his warm cum grazing your insides, reaching your finish, too, as he brings a hand to rub your clit through your release. The table below you is sticky with your juices as you steady your breathing, Felix bringing a hand around the base of his cock to pull out of you and rest limply against your pulsing, sore entrance.

The room around you is quiet again, the gentle buzz of the pendant lamp replacing your moans as you let your hands wrap around him and hold him in your embrace. Felix presses a series of tender kisses to your forehead as you remain, his slender hands moving strands of sweaty hair out of your forehead to replace them with his loving kisses.

And the record has run through all its seasons now, having ended several minutes ago, as the needle runs over the last groove in repetitive clicking sounds, an indication to flip it over.

A precious town once set ablaze. 4:00pm. Spring on the horizon.

“To have hysteria or mania. 7 letters.”

Felix thinks for a moment, his eyes darting up to the ceiling and then back to where Yena is sat across from him.

“Madness?”

She glances over the crossword puzzle once, counting empty little boxes, and then begins to pen in his answer.

“How are you so good at this?” Yena asks, shaking her head. “You could be on a crossword puzzle reality show. If that exists.”

He chuckles lightly, observing as Yena checks her watch, and then shuts the book in front of her.

“My break is almost done,” she says as you chew on a French fry. “I’m gonna catch the bathroom really quick. You guys need anything?”

“I’m good,” you chime in, and Felix shakes his head from across you.

“Thank you,” he says politely, shooting her a little smile as she slides out of the booth and back toward the kitchen.

Felix’s gaze turns back to you now, a smile on his face as you nibble the remainder of the french fry, cocking your head at his curious gaze. He doesn’t say anything, but you feel his sneaker glide gently up your ankle, grazing your bare skin with the sole of his shoe and shooting you a knowing smile.

“Felix, not here,” you say, pushing him away gently with your own shoe and letting your soles rest atop his laces.

“That’s not what you said this morning,” Felix says, swirling half-melted cubes of ice around in his glass of water.

“Harder Felix, harder!” He mimics quietly in a high-pitched voice, as he brings his glass up to his lips and takes a generous sip.

You stomp on his laces as he chuckles between sips of water, dribbling a stream from his lips when you kick him lightly in his ankles.

Don’t fuck your exes.

Advice that anyone with half a brain would give you- and advice you really should’ve taken to heart. But you can’t help it, finding yourself between the sheets with Felix nearly every night for the past two weeks, his lips all over yours and pleasuring you better than you’d ever remembered it. You tell yourself you’re just making up for lost time, both of you still young and naive, all of this over once he actually leaves for college again. He stayed for Christmas, gifting you a new pair of canvas sneakers and fucking you while reruns of Christmas rom-coms played in the background of your apartment. He was your New Year’s kiss at Seungmin’s party, where you swore again that the two of you weren’t dating, forcing you to press your lips to his only when you were sure the others weren’t paying attention at the drop of the ball. And when you’re not picking up shifts at the record shop, you’re with him every waking second of the day, keeping Yena company during her shifts as you feign your giddy attraction to him while she’s not looking.

We’re not dating, you’ve emphasized to Felix several times, and he doesn’t fight it, giving you a knowing nod as he utters a repetitive yeah, yeah. But it’s mostly because he knows you can’t say no to him, not when he’s bringing you slices of pie at work and burning CDs with all his favorite songs for you, slipping them into your bag without you even noticing until you’re home again. Of course there’s the physical factor, too- Felix is undoubtedly your best sexual partner, and he always has been. He’s quick to recognize when you’re aroused, slipping away with you in the backseat of his car to pleasure you, without any protest from you. He’s also understanding of all your intimate moments together, not fighting it when you remind him this is just temporary, all while he’s thrusting into you on the back room table of the record shop at late hours of the night. He just smiles against your bruised skin, reminding you that you have yet to push him away yet. And when he’s holding you in the gentle embrace of your afterglow, pressing kisses to your skin and reminding you how beautiful he’s always thought you are, he’s right- you don’t push him away from any of it. Maybe it’s the physical factor, maybe it’s little acts of service he performs to win you over. And perhaps it’s also because you don’t feel so lonely for once- the last time he was beside you like this, you still had a family, one that loved Felix like their own and encouraged this shared life with him. You still had dreams of being something bigger, aspirations while you were in school and visions of a life with Felix, because back then, he was always a part of your plan. And though things are different now, his beaming smile and lighthearted jokes serve as a reminder of a simpler time, and it feels right. So you don’t push him away- it’s a secret kept between the two of you, but he’s here with you, regardless.

“Will you let me take some photos of you today? ” Felix inquires, flipping through the book of crossword puzzles left on the table by Yena. You watch as he adjusts the familiar fleur de lis ring on his finger before uncapping a pen and filling in one of the words.

“I have an early shift tomorrow,” you reply, toying with the crumpled straw wrapper in front of you.

“I won’t be long,” Felix retorts.

“I know, Felix, but I have to get up really early tomorrow and I-”

“Let me take you out,” Felix says, not looking up from the crossword puzzle in front of him. “Just tell me where.”

You sigh, scanning the empty tables around the diner. There are only a handful of guests at this hour, most of them elderly folk chatting quietly amongst themselves. A slow jazz tune plays overhead, and sunlight beams through the large window beside you as Felix finishes penning in an answer, shutting the book again and folding his hands in front of him to meet your gaze.

“I have something for you,” Felix adds.

“You don’t have to buy me gifts, Felix.”

“I’m aware. But this one’s special for me, too.”

“What is it?”’you ask, a growing curiosity at his words.

“I don’t have it with me. You’ll have to let me give it to you later today.”

You sigh, crossing your arms in front of you and rolling your eyes sarcastically. He’s always known how to get exactly what he wants.

“Just this one time,” you reply, knowing you sound like a broken record at how many times you’ve sworn it to be just one more time.

“Just this one time,” Felix echoes, toying again with the ring on his finger.

And you nod reluctantly, agreeing to whatever he’s planned, for the purpose of pleasing him and because you’re unable to decline.

As he flips open the book again, he uncaps the pen once more, picking up where he left off and reading the question aloud to you.

“A discussion aimed at reaching an agreement,” he voices, nibbling the cap of his pen again.

“Negotiation,” you say, observing the way a smile grows on his face as he pens in your answer.

“That’s it,” he says, gripping the pen enthusiastically as he crosses out the question.

And the sole of his shoe grazes your ankle again, trailing up your flesh teasingly as he moves onto the next.

“Where’s she going?” Felix queries, reaching into the bowl of popcorn in his lap to grab another mouthful.

“I don’t know,” you respond, chuckling at the way he shoves a generous portion into his mouth and chews loudly.

“Is she leaving him?” He says, pausing his chewing as the main lead in the movie makes a dramatic exit on screen.

“Felix, I’ve never seen this movie either,” you state, chuckling as he finally resumes his chewing and brushes stray kernels off his shirt.

He reaches into the bucket again, gathering a generous handful of popcorn, and then he sprawls his hand over your mouth, pushing the popcorn into your still-laughing mouth as he moves a little closer to you.

“You argue too much!” He says between giggles, throwing his head back as he watches you try to down the handful, failing as loose kernels find purchase on your shirt, too.

You reach out to shove him playfully, and Felix intertwines his hands with yours, pulling you onto his lap as the bucket of popcorn is promptly set aside and neglected.

He doesn’t even give you time to finish chewing before his lips are on yours, kissing you with such tenderness and warmth. It’s moments like these you find yourself glad he’s here with you, grateful for his unwavering persistence to account for lost time and make amends. Of course you also know he’ll be gone soon, back to university to proceed with his education while you tend to the record shop. And you’re undoubtedly a little sad about it- but you also know it’s the way things have panned out to be. Felix has blossomed into the bright young soul you always knew he was, filling the shoes of a generation of good-natured people that came before him. He’s generous, and unselfish in his ways, and a part of you knows that leaving him was the best thing that could’ve happened to both of you.

Was sleeping with him a mistake after all this time? You would’ve answered yes in a heartbeat, at the first instance it happened, feeling you might accidentally led Felix on and ruined things between the two of you. But the more it happened, the more it affirmed the beautiful notion that he’s just a fleeting part in this process of mending- your souls intertwining to relive memories of simpler times, connecting like they had when you once belonged together. He gives himself to you as a way of saying I’m still here, if you need me. And you give yourself to him to respond I know, and I’m still healing.

“You want your gift?” Felix asks as he pulls away, his hands grazing the small of your back.

“Depends,” you say with a small smile. “If it’s anything like your gift this morning, then yes.”

He chuckles softly, caressing the dimples in your lower back as he sits up and nods in the direction of the kitchen counter.

“I’ll go get it. Be right back.”

And you slide off of him, crossing your hands between your thighs as he exits the room, the soft-spoken dialogue of the movie still playing as he shuffles about in your apartment kitchen. When he returns, his hands are behind his back, a smile plastered on his face and his eyes forming little crescents as he approaches you.

“You have to close your eyes,” he says, kneeling down and sitting cross-legged in front of you. “And put out your hands.”

You oblige with an equally endeared smile, closing your eyes and cupping your hands in front of you. Felix seems to get something situated in front of you, and then you feel him place something small in the palm of your hand. It’s cold to the touch, no bigger than an inch, and he positions it so that it’s centered perfectly in your hand.

“Now open,” Felix finally says, pulling his hands back and folding them in his lap.

You do as you’re told, your eyes fluttering open again and your gaze falling into the palm of your hand. And your heart melts instantly at the sight-

It’s a ring- his ring, the silver fleur de lis one he always catches you staring at.

“I can’t take your ring,” you say, your wide eyes meeting the crescents of his eyes that remain as he grins.

He holds his hand up, flashing you his own fleur de lis, and wiggles his fingers to show it off.

“It’s not mine,” Felix says. “I got you your own.”

And you feel tears prick the corners of your eyes, doing your very best to pull back and avoid crying in front of him. But Felix takes notice at the way your face contorts sadly, scooting closer to you and taking your hands in his.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his face full of concern as you examine the ring.

“Nothing,” you’re quick to respond, sniffling and rotating it between the pads of your fingers. “I just…”

Felix waits for you to answer, giving your hand a little squeeze as you struggle to find your words. He knows that verbalizing your feelings isn’t exactly your forte, giving you time to think over the action and speak when it feels right to you.

“Your ring,” you say with a soft chuckle. “It was a gift from my dad.”

His expression turns serious, holding up his index finger to rotate it around in front of you. “This one?” He inquires.

“Yeah,” you respond with a smile. “The one I gave you before we broke up. I know I’m not the best with my words, but I never got to say thank you. You stayed up with me the night they told us he was nearing the end. And again when my mom left. And somehow you found me in this shitty little town, and I like to think it’s so that I can properly thank you for everything. That’s why I wanted you to have the ring.”

Felix can’t properly reciprocate with a kiss while he’s sat below you like this, but he brings his lips forward to kiss your knee tenderly, staring up at you through innocent eyes and humming against your flesh.

“You were not alone,” he says, pressing another kiss. “You’re never alone. I would do it all over again.”

And you smile down at him, as he takes the ring from the palm of your hand and slides it onto your ring finger, an unspoken promise that he’s always going to be here to help build you up again, regardless of your reservations or your conditions. That just like this town lost itself so many years ago, there’s always a way to build things back up again, you just have to hold onto the hope that it’s possible.

“I love it,” you say, examining the way it sits around your fingers just like his does. And Felix doesn’t answer, pressing more kisses on the pads of your knees and using a hand to part your knees slightly. You take note of the way he keeps his eyes shut as he trails kisses, relishing in the way you give into his actions, laying back to part your knees and observing his eager state.

“Can I take a picture of you?” Felix asks shyly, his eyes darting over your visible crotch as your skirt rides up. You shoot him a little nod in response, gesturing for him to go get his camera, which he wastes no time doing, pulling it out of his black carrier bag and slinging it over his neck. Felix sits cross-legged in front of you again, watching intently as you flip your skirt up and let your fingers graze over your soaking panties. Your new ring glints in the dim glow of the overhead lamp, glistening as you rub your clit over the thin fabric of your underwear and stare into the lens of his camera.

Felix clicks a set of photos, his breath hitching in the back of his throat at the sight of you tugging on your panties and spreading even further for him. You make a big show of staring innocently into his lens, your eyebrows arched in curiosity as you toy with your waistband and tug it down a little further, your hips swaying a little as you struggle to pull it off entirely. And Felix takes note of your struggle, snapping one more photo of your desperate state and slinging the camera back off.

“Let me help you,” he says with an amused smile, placing the camera on the bag beside him and scooting closer to you. His hands loop themselves in the hem of your panties, keeping his gaze locked on your core as he pulls them down, being met instantly with the sweet aroma of your arousal and your glistening folds.

“Fuck,” Felix breathes, swallowing in anticipation at you spread for him.

You let yourself slouch back into the dip of the couch cushion, propping a leg up to give him a better view, and your hands graze over your breasts as you watch him struggle to comprehend the sight.

“Go on,” you order simply, biting your lip as his eyes widen when you knead your breast gently.

And Felix doesn’t spare another second, his hands finding purchase on your inner thighs, as he brings his face forward and licks a long stripe up your folds. His tongue is instantly coated in your arousal when he does, moaning at the taste of you as you writhe in pleasure below him and clamp your knees around his pretty face. He holds them open again, letting his tongue graze over your pulsing clit, before licking another stripe and then latching his lips around your bundle of nerves, pressing a chaste kiss before sucking harshly.

The room fills with your high-pitched moans, gasping for air and clutching desperately onto the fabric of the couch as he works you, alternating between sucking your clit between his teeth and grazing his tongue over your entrance. He darts his tongue into your sopping entrance to gather more of your arousal, spitting harshly onto your cunt and grazing it around your folds using his tongue. And the more you writhe desperately below him, the more his movements become ravenous, working you like a starved animal as he eats you out and pries your legs open.

“Felix,” you groan, reaching a hand out to push his face further into you. “Feels so fucking good.”

He smiles against you, responding with little kisses peppered on your inner thighs, before moving back to your clit and licking in harsh back and forth motions. Your cunt clenches around nothing, desperate for him to fill you, but not wanting him to halt the motion of pleasuring you with his tongue. And as his fingers graze along your thigh to pry you open again, you gasp when he brings the same hand to your clit and rubs vigorously.

Your body is shaking now, trembling with anticipation as you approach your orgasm. But Felix doesn’t stop to gauge your reactions at all- in fact, if you were to cum right now, he’d keep going at this pace regardless. He’s too fixated on the taste of your arousal in his mouth, the melodious moans you let out for him and the way you reach for nothing tangible as he works you.

As your head throws back in pure ecstasy, you feel his fingers move lower, and lower, until he’s grazing your entrance with his knuckles in a teasing motion. And before you can ask him to fuck you with them, he’s already inserting two fingers, increasing the pace of his tongue as he begins to thrust in and out of you. Your cunt contracts eagerly around his fingers, desperate for release now as he matches the rhythm of his tongue with his fingers, the room teeming with the sounds of your squelching pussy. As he pushes deeper into you, you feel his ring- the cold, stiff metal of your now matching rings, graze your entrance, sending a wave of pleasure over your trembling body. His fingers work in and out of you, the cold metal pressing itself on your clit as he bottoms out inside of you and moves his fingertips in quick come hither motions to stimulate you. Your abdomen contracts harshly with every thrust now, your clit throbbing as he traces it with his tongue and peppers it in hot, wet kisses.

“Felix, fuck, I’m- gonna cum for you,” you warn, your voice shaky as he moves even faster, showing no mercy with his movements as he groans against your exposed flush.

“Let go for me,” he commands plainly, his deep voice vibrating against your clit as he holds his tongue there. “Always give me such a fucking show, baby. Make a mess for me.” He speaks between kisses on your glistening folds, alternating between pouting his lips to make out with your cunt and let his tongue wag over your sensitive core.

As you feel his fingers thrust into you one last time, the cold metal of his ring gliding over your folds in its coat of arousal, your abdomen contracts over him, your cunt clenching in syncopation with your fervent moans as you finally let go and dribble your juices all over his freckled face. He wastes no time cleaning you up, lapping at your core to swallow your release and pepper your dampened flesh with tender kisses.

“Stay there,” Felix orders, reaching beside him as your eyes flutter shut in overstimulation. You lie completely listless, your limbs languid and heartbeat pulsing at a now slowing rate throughout your body.

Felix brings his camera up to you again, sitting up on his knees and snapping a photo of your wearied state, his eyes wide with lust as he admires the way your legs hang loosely at your sides. His lens adjusts to capture your parted lips and flushed cheeks, your hands tugging your skirt down again and the smile on your breathless lips when you open your eyes again.

Felix stands up now, approaching you with the camera and letting his slender fingers graze your lips.

“Suck,” he orders, inserting the same two fingers down your throat as his other hand positions the lens in front of you. And you oblige eagerly, your lips wrapping around his digits to suck your own arousal off of him, your tongue swirling around the salty metal of his ring to rid him of your juices.

His photos capture exactly that- your lips wrapped around his knuckles, the kisses you trail down his fingers and the way your tongue licks the perimeter of your matching jewelry clean.

When you’re finished, you release him with a gentle pop, Felix letting his camera hang loosely at his waist again and using his now free hand to tilt your head up to meet his gaze.

“So beautiful,” he says resolutely, bringing you up for a gentle kiss. “You were always such a good model for me.”

When you work an early shift, you make it a point to kick Felix out of your apartment no later than 9, or sometimes 10. You’re not staying the night, you’d explained as a non-negotiable condition, wanting to avoid the awkward antics that come with sleeping alongside each other and waking up in his arms. But tonight, you can’t seem to let go of him, letting his arms wrap you in their warm embrace as he presses kisses to your forehead and tells you stories of college that you weren’t around for.

“It was the worst group I ever had for a project,” Felix says in a chuckle. “I don’t know how I passed that course.”

“You should’ve requested a different group,” you say in a sleepy voice, smiling as you play the humorous tale in your head.

“I did!” He exclaims. “I don’t think the professor liked me enough to let me switch so late in the semester.”

“Well, you got through it,” you reply, letting your hand intertwine with his as your rings rub tenderly against each other. “I can’t say the same.”

Felix chuckles lightly, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand and letting your hands rest against each other. He thinks for a moment, and then rubs his thumb along your hand lovingly as he begins to speak again.

“I want to take so many photos of you in the spring. There’s this new lens I want to try.”

You pause briefly, opening your eyes to look at him, and then you cock your head slightly before responding.

“You won’t be here for the spring, Felix. You’ll be back at school.”

He swallows nervously, pondering your words, and then he exhales deeply before continuing.

“I don’t think college is for me, either.”

The words hit you like a truck the second they escape his lips- you sit up in bed to look at him, releasing his hand from yours and furrowing your brows together.

“What?”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you, I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up. I want to stay here, with you.”

“No, you don’t,” you’re quick to say, shaking your head.

“I do,” Felix admits sheepishly. “Everything makes sense here. Being with you, the town, the people- I think I’m meant to be here, too.”

“No, you’re not,” you say, pulling away from him even further as he sits up now, too. “Felix- this isn’t your life. You need to go back to school, and pick a major and live your life.”

“I don’t want those things,” Felix responds frustratedly. “I want you. I want this town. I don’t care if you don’t want to date, I’ll stay by your side regardless. I can’t just leave you.”

“You can, and you will.”

Felix narrows his eyes, anger quickly overtaking him as his face flushes a dark shade of red.

“So you’re allowed to and I’m just not? Who are you to dictate what I do with my life?”

“This is the life I made for myself,” you reply, exasperated. “It’s not some soul-searching pit stop like it is for you.”

“Maybe it’s not for me, either.”

You’re entirely off the bed now, your hands making angry gestures as you try to verbalize your feelings toward him, Felix’s voice growing increasingly irate as you attempt to.

“You know why I left you in the first place?” You question. “Because I was dragging you down. You had everything- a family, a future and a girlfriend who didn’t quite have things made the way you do. No one even understood why we were together, Felix. I’m not gonna drag you down a second time just because we had sex a couple times.”

“Is that all this is to you?” Felix inquires angrily. “Just sex? It doesn’t seem that way when you’re all over me at Seungmin’s parties calling me your ‘best friend’. That doesn’t sound like just sex to me-”

“You are my best friend,” you interrupt frustratedly, tears falling from your eyes now as you try to make him listen.

“You are my best friend, and I don’t want this life for you. The night I left you, my dad was moved to hospice, and my mom decided she wanted nothing to do with it. I knew you’d be wasting the best years of your life taking care of me, staying by my side like the good person you are, but that it would get in the way of college and your life. It wasn’t easy for me to do, Felix, breaking up with you and getting as far away from you as possible before I could change my mind. But you have a life outside of me, and I need you to go be that person still.”

Felix says nothing in response for several minutes, his eyes welling with tears, too, as you wipe your eyes with your inner wrists and avert his gaze. You hate when Felix sees you cry- it’s embarrassing, and it feels shameful. It feels the way it did when Felix skipped classes to be with you, neglected studying for his exams to hold you as you cried, rain checked his own family to be with yours and dragged you to every house party, so that he could fuck your sadness away in an environment that wasn’t a hospital bathroom or your childhood room.

“How dare you imply the time I spent with you was wasted,” he scoffs, his lip quivering as he wipes his own eyes. “You were my life, outside of all of this. And you still are, and you’re so stubborn in doing that thing where you don’t let yourself feel.”

You watch as Felix gathers his camera, stuffing it back into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

“You said you’re somewhere between the fire and the mending. But you don’t talk about the fire. You just shut it out like you do with everything else.”

He pivots on his heel, making his way toward the door and walking with loud, purposeful strides. You begin to say something, quickly swallowing your words again as he reaches for the doorknob and turns it slowly. Felix pauses momentarily, hoping you’ll ask him to stay, apologize, forgive- anything, any sort of indication that this is what you want, too. But as the door opens, your silence is answer enough for him.

“No one could have prevented the fire,” Felix says before leaving, echoing the words you told him so long ago. “You can pick up, and move on, but it still happened. And just because things burned, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to thrive again.”

Without another word from you, he’s disappearing out your front door, his camera bag swaying on his side as he marches out the building and back to his car.

And you feel yourself begin to cry, your heart contracting painfully in your chest, a pit forming in your stomach as you witness him walk out of your life again. The flames burn inside of you all over again, turning organ to ash as you wipe your never-ending tears and slam the door behind him. It’s akin to when your mother left, when your dad passed and when you left Felix the first time. It’s overwhelming, it consumes you whole, your entire figure trembling as you fail to extinguish the flames. The phenomenon begs the question- had the fire ever really stopped? Were you ever in the process of mending if not wailing like this, your vulnerability on display for the world to see as your walls are finally let down? Is this what it means to feel?

There are few people in this world who have seen you cry. Your mom, one of them, when you begged her to stay. Your dad, another, when you held his hand through his last breath. Felix, the third, several times throughout your relationship with him.

And the folks in this town- never. Not once have they witnessed you wail the way Felix has, tears brimming your eyes as you fail to keep your emotions at bay, mucus trickling down to your lips in an inelegant manner as you cry, and cry and cry.

“You want some coffee?” Chris asks awkwardly, scratching the back of his head as he watches you bury your face in the sleeves of your sweatshirt.

“No.”

“Yena should be here any minute,” he adds, his voice softening as he watches you lift your head to give him a nod.

“Hang in there, kiddo,” Chris finishes, rubbing your back in small circles and giving you a gentle pat.

As you rest your chin in your hands, a pounding headache overtaking your whole being, a knock at the front door catches your attention. It’s Yena, a hood thrown over her head as she balances a tupperware container in her hands and peers through the window. Chris gives her a knowing look, making his way to the door and unlocking it for her.

“Hey,” Yena says softly as she enters, setting down a slice of pie in front of you and taking a seat on the stool beside you. “You okay?”

You sniffle once, shaking your head sorrowfully as she awaits your explanation. But nothing is verbalized yet, and for a good few minutes, all you can do is cry.

Yena wraps you in her loving embrace, letting your tears stain the shoulder of her hoodie, as Chris shrugs from behind you and delivers reassuring pats to your back. They’re just as confused as each other, awaiting a reason or some story, but you can’t bring yourself to vocalize your thoughts, especially when you’re a crying mess like this. Chris finally ushers Yena to say something, and she does, albeit reluctantly.

“You know, just between us, I think he’s a little dorky, anyway. It’s his loss if he can’t see what he’s missing.”

And to their surprise, you chuckle lightly, still wiping tears with the corners of your sweatshirt.

“What?” You question, a soft hiccup escaping your lips as you speak. Yena furrows her brows, together shooting a questioning look to Chris, who shrugs in response.

“Is this… not about Felix?” She queries hesitantly.

“It is,” you emphasize, another giggle escaping your lips. “But it’s not that he’s not interested. We used to date, Yena.”

At this, Yena reaches around to swat Chris’ shoulder, pursing her lips together as she speaks again. “I knew something was up,” she voices, swatting Chris again. “Christopher over here was convinced he was too into you.”

“You guys talked about it?” You add, giggling softly into the sleeve of your sweater.

“It was hard not to,” Yena responded, giving you an empathetic look. “The way you guys light up a room when you’re together, it’s like winter turns to spring or something. I was so certain he was the one.”

At this, more tears escape the corners of your eyes, falling onto the counter below you as you nod slowly in regards to her words.

“I love him,” you finally say, and the room goes silent when you do.

“I love him, and he deserves better than me. Than this,” you finish, gesturing around you to the town. “He wants to drop out of college and stay here. Like that’s a good idea for anyone except me.”

Yena and Chris give each other staggered looks, unsure of what to reply to first. They’ve never heard you speak of your emotions like this, never seen you cry and never would’ve guessed that you would let down your guard to this degree around them. It’s a little frightening, at first, to watch you tear down your own walls so much, like watching a different person than the one they’ve known for all these years. But it’s also reassuring to see that you are capable of letting yourself open up for the right people. It takes a weight off their shoulders to bear witness to the confirmation that they’re the people you can go to when you need help, the same way they don’t hesitate to lean on you. And it especially gives solace to know that you feel so deeply at all, a trait Yena and Chris have always pushed you to familiarize yourself with.

“Well what’s stopping you?” Yena asks, threading her fingers in your hair and combing it back like your mother used to.

“Exactly that,” you respond. “I don’t want to confine him to this life of mine.”

“Let me ask you something,” Yena states, taking your hands in hers and bringing your gaze up to meet hers. “Are you happy?”

And the question throws you off guard, requiring a moment to think before you can say anything in response. It’s a fair question, too- one you should’ve asked yourself when you agreed to move here years ago. But it’s not a difficult one to crack, either, when you take in your surroundings. The diner across the street is packed with patrons, happily sipping away at milkshakes and glass bottles of soda. This old record shop, with its dingy back room and rows of genres you make an effort to learn about whenever you get a chance. The starlings that flock when the train travels through, the holiday parties you find a home in and your favorite spot on the hill, overlooking all of Ember. They’re all working parts of one larger phenomenon- that of happiness.

“Yeah,” you reply, nodding to affirm your answer. “I love it here. And I love you guys, and I’m still healing most days, but I wouldn’t want to be doing it anywhere else.”

A smile grows on Yena’s face as she glances back between you and Chris, and he shoots her a little nod.

“Then do something about it,” she finally says, giving your hands a little squeeze. “The first step is letting yourself feel. The rest is up to you to run with.”

And when you meet her gaze, and Chris’ gaze, their loving expressions looking down at you like you’re one of their own, you can’t help but pull them into a hug, letting yourself cry a little harder at the prospect of your found family, these tears ones of happiness.

“I love you guys,” you voice confidently. “And I’m sorry if I’ve never said it out loud.”

Chris’ hand pats your back, Yena’s combing through your hair tenderly, as they hug you with equal enthusiasm and allow you to cry as long as you need.

“We love you, kid,” Chris answers.

And when you pull away again, the three of you laugh, your tears staining your reddened faces as you bask in this unconditional appreciation for one another.

“Eat your pie,” Yena says, shoving a fork toward you. “And Chris, play some music, will you?”

Chris salutes her, pulling a random record off the shelf and scanning its contents.

“Polish folk?” He questions, and you glance at the familiar cover of the record, the same couple dipping into a bow as they dance in their colorful fabrics.

“This one’s really good,” you chime in, taking a bite of cherry pie as you nod toward the record player. “We should dance to this one.”

And as Chris starts the upbeat music, pulling Yena in for a comedic waltz, you can’t help but laugh through your tears, at the home this town’s given you in all your mending.

Felix hasn’t been at the record shop since your fight. He hasn’t been at your apartment, nor the diner, or even Seungmin’s place (and yes, you did ask). There’s only one place you know Felix would flock to after a night like the one you shared, and if you’re lucky, you should still be able to catch him on his supposed last night here.

The grassy hill is a little slippery at this hour, caked mud enwreathing your sneakers as you trudge your way up the hill and into the familiar dip of the land. And as the horizon becomes visible to you, spanning the length of the town and showcasing all the bright lights the nighttime flaunts, so does Felix, sitting with his back to you in a plain white t-shirt and jeans. He looks more casual tonight, less dressed with the intention to look a specific way, and you can’t help but smile at the sight of his slim frame taking in the view you led him to. He leans back on his hands, eyes scanning the sight of the town, before picking up his camera and snapping a series of photos.

When you occupy the spot next to him, he glances over at you briefly, before turning his attention back to the camera and waiting for you to speak.

“It’s prettier at night, isn’t it?,” you finally say, breaking the silence, and Felix fixes his gaze on the blurry lights of the record shop.

“Yeah,” he responds curtly, swallowing nervously as he ponders what to say.

And you know if you let him facilitate this conversation, it’d be over much sooner rather than later, but you also know that it’s up to you to make amends now.

“Your photography is still so beautiful,” you state, gesturing to the camera in his hands. “It’s always been so artistic.”

Felix remains quiet, toying with the strap on his camera as you speak.

“You’re artistic,” you continue. “And that’s why I want you to finish college. Don’t throw all this away for me.”

He turns his face to meet your gaze, his eyes trembling a little as you give him an empathetic look and shrug.

“I don’t want to go where you won’t follow,” Felix says, his voice coming out a little shaky.

“But I’ll always be here,” you retort, tears beginning to prick the corners of your eyes again. “Don’t put your life on hold for something that already lives in your past. You are an incredible person, Felix, and I’m not gonna drag you down a second time.”

Felix thinks for a moment, swallowing a lump in his throat as he thinks over your words. And he knows that there’s a possibility this isn’t what he wants, either- to stay in this little town with your friends he’s not even sure like him very much. But he does know he wants you, and that staying here would mean sacrificing his old life.

“I want you to know it wasn’t your fault,” Felix says after a brief pause of silence. “Nobody who walked out deserved you. And your dad loved you- a lot. I think about that moment watching the sunrise with you every day. He’s there too, part of that memory tucked away in my mind. I’m sorry it happened so suddenly and disrupted things. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy, Felix,” you tell him, chuckling lightly as you respond. “I have a whole family here. I don’t spend my holidays alone, I meet new people working at the shop everyday. There’s so many people I haven’t introduced you to. There are coffee shops, and parades on weekends, and I’m happy. I’m still healing, but I’ve also realized that being healed doesn’t equate my happiness. I can be one without the other, and still get by just fine.”

Felix’s gaze is fixed on yours for a moment, not saying anything as he lets your words circle his mind. And there’s so much he wants to say in response, so many questions about what the future means for you both, but he also knows very well that the rest is up to him to figure out, just the way you did when you moved out here. Maybe you’re still healing- and maybe Felix is still figuring out the rest for himself, too. And though the past may be clouded by a story much more complex than either of you can even begin to comprehend, the happiness you seek is attainable, whether or not you’re together to see it through to the end. That although sometimes things may burn and decay like this town once did, there are people who will make the journey to help in the process of rebuilding, and you can thrive again. You can always thrive again.

“You’re right,” Felix says, as he looks over the horizon again. “It is prettier at night.”

The dim glow of the streetlights contrasts the flashy signs of the diner and the record shop, painting the blackened town with vivid color and bringing life to the small town of Ember.

And with a half smile, Felix pulls you in for a tender kiss, the two of you letting your apologies flow through each other in the gentle embrace of your lips and your hands intertwining atop the grassy hill.

Felix pulls you close, letting your head rest comfortably against his chest, as he caresses your hand softly in the grasp of his. And his index finger rubs lovingly against your ring finger, your matching rings grazing against each other as if to say I’ve always loved you.

Small town at the edge of the world. No particular time of day. A blossoming summer.

That’s the small town of Ember. A town Felix holds very close to his heart. And one you call home.

The cicadas buzz with high-pitched melodies of summer as you slip your sneakers on, the piercing blue sky around you almost too bright to look directly in its face. The clouds seem to shift with the summer breeze, drifting along the canvas sky like a painting in motion as you take in the sight around you

“Let’s go!” Yena calls, honking her horn twice to signify her arrival.

“I’m coming!” You call back, making your way down the stairs of her porch, balancing trays of food in hand as you account for everything you’ve agreed to bring. Drinks, plates, pie, napkins- your signature arrangement for the town’s summer festival you attend alongside Chris and Yena every year.

“Slow down, kiddo,” Chris says with a chuckle, as you rush to place everything in the backseat. “Oh, and there’s a letter for you on the porch table,” he adds, shooting you a small wink.

“I’ll be right back!” you call to Yena, jogging back up the stairs to collect the little beige envelope that rests atop the wooden surface.

It’s addressed to you, the handwriting in neat swirly black cursive letters, the envelope feeling sturdy between your fingers. You tear it open with no real aim, a giant gash working down the envelope as you rush you pull out the contents and examine them.

It’s a stack of photos, you quickly realize, sorting through them to make out the glossy digital prints.

There’s a photo of you in the back of the record shop, your hands brought up to your face and your legs hanging lazily off the table. Another showcases you in the familiar beige interior of the passenger’s seat, laughing cheerfully and staring out the window. There are photos of the town’s horizon, photos of the record player at your work, Yena’s famous pie, Seungmin’s holiday party and even the matching rings, intertwined hands that rest on the car console. As you shuffle to the last photo, you recognize it to be much more recent than the others, even the quality looking clearer, perhaps a new camera or a different roll of film.

It’s a still photo of Felix, from the waist up, holding a peace sign up to the lens with a small smile. He’s dressed brightly in a white vest and layered jewelry, the background showcasing a blue harbor with rows of boats, the location indistinguishable to you. He’s blonde again, his now shorter golden tresses framing the myriad of freckles that scatter his face once more. And he looks happy, much like himself again.

You wonder briefly who took the photo of him, the angle being of very close proximity. And you can’t make out which hand usually houses the ring you both wear, the only hand visible to you covering his ring finger, regardless. You scan the photo for a moment, running your fingertips over his figure, before turning it over and reading the neatly scribbled text on the back:

Sydney, last fall. I think I’m the only photography major who doesn’t drink my coffee without sugar. And you were right, the freckles do suit me better.

All my love,

Felix.

#Lee Felix #lee felix smut #stray kids #skz smut #skz felix #felix yongbok #felix smut #stray kids felix #felix #skz #stray kids hard hours #skz scenarios #request #fanfic #felix fic #Lee Felix fanfic #ask #felix fluff #Spotify

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catiuskaa · 23 days

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𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐲.

sum. felix can’t help it, and he can’t hold back anymore, because in the end, loving you comes out so effortlessly.

wc. 1.1k

cw. fluff! so many feels, my teeth are rotten after this

req! by my wifey @/stayconnecteed right here. won’t tag you twice cause you’re in the taglist lol. loved your idea! i’m so soft for felix ㅠㅠ<3

[🌼 ☆ 🥞 ☆ 🌼]

When he wakes up, the first thing Felix does is move his body right next to yours.

He basks in your now shared warmth with his eyes closed, and he smiles giddily, knowing that he isn’t hugging you so closely and tangling his legs around yours because of how cold he may or may not be. His hand slithers between your head and your pillow, and he can’t help but letting his heart flutter and creep with cheeky jealousy at the thought of your scent lingering in the bedsheets for days. He hopes his leaves a mark. But if it doesn’t, he’s free to come back whenever —your words, not his— and he sighs happily, still a bit sleepy.

With you now right where he knows you belong, not bothering if his arm will start to feel numb, he traces the outline of your face with his eyes, carving your face deep into his memory. Shyly, when he notices you stir awake, he closes his eyes, pretending to be asleep.

He can’t know what you’ll do, and the thought has him weirdly on edge. But his heart swoons when the next thing he feels is your arms around his torso. Your nose brushes against his, and the effort he makes to keep pretending to be asleep —merely to see what you’d do, now more out of curosity than anything— and not let his breath hitch or the smile creep up his face is harder than he once would’ve thought.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

It’s a whisper that falls from your lips and strokes his whole body. It’s the first time he wakes up right by your side, and he already feels like he’s conquered the entire world. He’s just woken up, and whatever you two have got going on has been going on for a couple months now.

But today, this morning —your first morning— somehow feels different.

He’s a bit cheeky, and he doesn’t want to yet open his eyes again, loving how unrestrained your hands linger on him. He loves how your hands find home on the small dent of his waist, and almost as cheeky as him, you move his shirt up, just enough to trail shapes on the small parts of now visible creamy skin. He loves how it may seem like the paths your fingers create are mindless, almost an excuse to keep your hands on him, but as he holds back a smile, he can notice that you’re doodling on his back. Little stars that he knows can’t compare to those up in the sky, because those don’t tickle like how yours do, they don’t make you get as close to him like how yours do, they don’t make his heart flutter and swoon and giggle like how you do.

And —what he feels like it’s the most important relasation he’s had in the past ten or so minutes he’s been awake— he doesn’t love them as much as he loves you.

He notices how your fingers turn soft and tender, the pointy sides of a star changing to rounder shapes, and he’s putty in your hands, because those are shy and cute little hearts.

You sigh and move away from him, and before he can even open his eyes to pull you back, his still allegedly asleep figure gets a sheepish kiss from you.

It’s weird, because he’s kissed you so many times before, but this is different. It’s different, he knows, because for more than just the second the peck lasted before he hears the door in the room creak and your steps dim as you head somewhere else in your appartment, the room falls away. There’s nothing else there except the ghost of the touch of your lips against his, and how his heart keeps missing beats and his hands tickle to bring you back and closer to him.

His eyes are open, and his hand moves to his lips, in a daze as Felix feels his cheeks blushing like crazy. His heart is shortcircuiting, screaming at him, and his brain can’t understand it, because it just feels like he isn’t its owner anymore. He wants to move from the bed and run to you, and then you’d hug him too, traicing the same little shapes as before, and while you hug, your hearts as close as they can be, not minding all the flesh and blood and bones in between as yours calms his, and it’s so wild and unrestrained that he feels the need to give it to you.

“Take my heart, take it.” He’d say in a murmur. “I’m afraid of it, of how desperately it wants to consume you and devour you whole. Take it, because it’s yours and it feels like nothing without you, and replace it with something easier to understand.”

The scent of tea and honey wakes him up from his day dreaming, and your silhouette comes back, and you smile when you notice he’s up, his eyes locked on yours.

“Good morning, princess.”

“Isn’t that my line?” Felix giggles, turning back to his side as you leave your hot tea on your bedside table and lay back into bed.

You chuckle too, sighing in deep comfort when his arms surround you again.

“Good sleep?” You ask giggling, your hands stroking his face. Best sleep, he doesn’t say. “You’ve got marks of the pillow all over your face.”

“Well, how do you know you don’t have them too?” He teases menacingly. He knows that you haven’t looked yourself by how your eyes widen softly, and he rapidly cages you against him.

“Lix, let me go check!” You laugh, failing to move away from his embrace.

“Nope. You’re staying with me, wrickles and all.”

It’s a battle of whose’s laugh makes them weaker first, and judging by how you relax and giggle gently, he’s the winner for this one.

His eyes glow as he stares at you, and you can’t stop giggling, seeing the stars you doodled on him before stare back at you, posing as freckles on his face and as shimmers in his eyes. You kissed him before leaving, risking waking him up to release the wave of affection that crashed against you when he was the first thing you saw to start your day. A small liberty that compares in the slightest to how he kisses you now.

And you both keep laughing, laughing as you kiss each other, and none of you can make up something better than the taste of the other’s laugh in you mouths.

Then you sigh, and lean you forehead against his. You’d kiss each and every one of his freckles without him asking, as if every fiber of your being was dying because it makes you feel alive, stronger than you’ve ever felt and it’s home, and it’s then and only then when you feel it with such a raw tinge to it that you can’t hold it back anymore.

And neither can he.

“I love you.” you both blurt out, a first time of many.

You both stay there, waiting for the world to catch up and keep spinning.

“Pancakes?” You mumble on his lips, your smile never faltering.

“God, you’re an angel.” He giggles, so, so, so in love.

[🌼 ☆ 🥞 ☆ 🌼]

kats, who now feels so fucking lonely, need me a Felix ffs.

catiuskaa, september 2024 ©

PERMANENT TAGLIST! @lyramundana @stayconnecteed

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blueb3rryjongseob · 1 month

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STRAY KIDS!FAKE TEXTS IN WHICH..

In which they autocorrected your phone so whenever you type 'love' it comes out as 'hate'

minor!friendly

yayaya this was really fun to make (it took me a day😭) but most importantly, credits to @jinhyun! The general idea is theirs! In their post, the roles were switched where it would be the reader who autocorrected skz' phone, I just changed it. Theirs is alot better though so PLEASE go read theirs and interact with the post😚

Also, in I.N. and Felix's, don't judge how i used 'strawberry' as a pet name😭😭 it's soo cute and i tell you guys to call me berry so it works perfectly.

Thankyou so so so so so so sooo much if you read and made it this far. As I say, please interact with this post so you'd have many, many, many, many, many more amazing posts like this<33

-Berry.

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dancinglikebutterflywings · 5 months

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Ghosts are Real | Lee Felix

Pairing: Lee Felix x Ghost!Reader

Request: No. This is a repost from my old account and part of the Halloween special I did last year.

Synopsis: Felix doesn't want to believe ghosts are real until Hyunjin mentions Y/N, the resident ghost.

Warnings: I tried making this one spooky but it just ended up sweet because, after all, it's Felix. Mentions of death, exhaustion. Reader has a little brother.

Word Count: 1,303

Requests: Open.

Stray Kids Masterlist | Tag List Sign-Up | Requesting Guidelines

©️ 2024 dancinglikebutterflywings - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead.

A chill runs down Felix’s spine as he hears a whisper that sounds right by his ear. He pauses the game he’s playing with Jeongin, causing the younger man to groan and drop his controller on the couch in annoyance. He was just about to beat Felix at Mario Kart for the 1000th time.

“Did you hear that?” Felix asks his friend as he looks around the room for someone else. He knows that it’s just him and Jeongin in their dorm. Minho is out visiting his family and cats and Seungmin is out filming a vlog with Changbin and Hyunjin.

Jeongin, slightly annoyed and thinking Felix is trying to distract him from winning this race, replies, “I didn’t hear anything.” He un-pauses the game only for Felix to pause it again causing Jeongin to become even more frustrated with his Hyung. “What the hell, Hyung?”

“We’re still the only one’s here, right?” he asks making sure no one had come back when he went to use the bathroom or when he went into his room to grab something.

Jeongin nods his head and stands up before disappearing into his bedroom. He comes back out a minute later holding his shoulder bag. “I need to go grab a few things. Do you need anything?”

“I’m good,” Felix shakes his head, exiting the game before switching it off.

After Jeongin leaves the apartment, Felix questions if he should have gone with him as an unsettling feeling falls over the apartment.

“Ghosts aren’t real,” his voice comes out soft as he tries to convince himself that the spectral beings don’t exist. His mind travels back to all the times someone has told them about their experiences with the paranormal.

The sound of something clattering on the floor causes him to jump and spin around, searching for what could have made the noise. He finds a metal chopstick laying on the kitchen floor. Confused and frightened, he picks it up, cleans it off and places it where they keep the chopsticks.

“Ghosts are still not real,” he tries to convince himself again and looks for ways the chopstick could have moved from the sink to the floor.

“-very real,” he hears a whisper. It was so quiet that if there was any other sound, he wouldn’t have heard it.

“No, you’re not,” he finds himself arguing with the faint voice. “You’re not real because ghosts don’t exist.”

Rushing into his room, he turns on his computer, grabs his headset and puts it on as he sits in his desk chair. As he’s about to load up his game, the computer switches off and reboots. The words ‘I am real.’ come across the black screen. Terrified he throws his headset off and hurries out of the room. He’s about to leave the apartment when Seungmin and Hyunjin make their way through the front door, causing him to scream in fright.

“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asks coming across his terrified friend, who is on the verge of tears.

“I think we need a new dorm,” he tells them, calming down and feeling a little better that he isn’t alone anymore. “I think this one is haunted.”

“I thought you don’t believe in ghosts?” Seungmin says as he moves into the kitchen to get himself a drink.

“I don’t want to,” he groans. “But too much weird shit goes on here. Things are moved, doors open and close and now I’m hearing voices. Maybe I’m going crazy.”

“Or you’ve finally met Y/N,” Hyunjin says like it’s no big deal. As someone who’s had sleep paralysis, he’s seen some weird shit and wasn’t all too surprised when he found out that the dorm the youngest three occupy with Minho is haunted.

Felix’s fear turns into confusion, “Y/N?”

“She’s your ghost,” he explains. “I’ve seen her a few times. She’s around our age and seems nice. But I think she’s a little lonely. It would be quite lonely being a ghost. No one can see, hear or touch you.”

Both Felix and Seungmin look at him stunned.

“Have you talked to her?” Seungmin asks, not sure if he should believe it himself.

“No, but I see her out the corner of my eye sometimes,” he says and turns to Felix. “If you’re noticing everything than maybe you should talk to her. Has she tried to reach out?”

“Something weird just happened with my computer and I know there’s no fault anywhere in it. I built it myself,” he admits. “What should I do?”

“Get a Ouija board,” Hyunjin suggests.

“I’m not getting one of those,” Felix shakes his head. “I’ll just download one of those apps.”

Later that night, Felix is in his bedroom, earphones in his ears as the static from the ghost talking app plays in his ears. All afternoon he’s been debating with himself whether he should do it or not. But his curiosity won out over his fear, and he downloaded the app he’s now bravely using. He wanted to know what was causing all the strange occurrences that’s been happening in the dorm and if any of what Hyunjin said is true.

“I don’t know why I’m doing this,” he sighs out loud.

“For me,” a faint woman’s voice cut through the static, surprising the blonde.

“Y/N?” he asks, his voice shaky and heart pounding against his chest. He looks around his bedroom trying to find any hint of another person being there. There’s nothing and no-one.

The same voice cuts through the static again. “Yes.”

He pulls his earphones out of his ears not quite believing what he’s hearing. He takes a minute to settle his racing heart and his mind before he puts the earphones back into his ears. The static fills his head again.

“Is your name really Y/N?” he asks wanting confirmation.

“L/N... Y/N...”

“Hyunjin’s right about you,” he says more to himself.

“Yes... Hyunjin... good.”

“He’s going to lose his mind when I tell him about this,” after he says that he hears a giggle come through. He can’t help the smile that makes its way on to his lips. She has pretty laugh. “What happened to you?”

“I... died,” he hears.

“Obviously. How did you die?” he asks.

“...Exhausted...”

“Were you young?”

“21.”

“Way too young,” he suddenly feels sad. He’s only a few years older than she was. He feels like he still has so much to do and couldn’t imagine what it would be like having your life cut short before you can even live it fully. It makes him realize how truly blessed he is to be alive and living his dreams and reaching accomplishment after accomplishment. “I’m sorry you never got the chance to live a full life.”

“Me... too...” her voice comes through again. “But... I lived... good... life... in years... had.”

Feeling more at ease than earlier, he settles on his bed and spends the rest of the night talking to Y/N as if they were two new friends getting to know each other.

Y/N told him all about her life when she was alive, her baby brother who she often goes and watches over, that Seungmin’s bedroom use to be her bedroom, but she always liked Felix’s the best because of the view and the way the sunlight and the moonlight would shine through the windows. He told her he doesn’t mind sharing the room with her and told her about how he’s living his dream with his seven best friends, how he gets to travel abroad, and do everything that he does. He even told her about his family and Australia.

Eventually, he falls asleep with the static from the app still playing in his ears and making a mental note to talk to Hyunjin, telling him everything he learned about Y/N.

Likes, comments & reblogs are welcomed and appreciated, thank you.

TAGGING: @staytiny2000 - @everythingboutkpop - @kpopmenace143 - @treehouse-mouse - @alexxavicry

@jedi-dreea - @rainydayteacups - @tinyelfperson - @yeonjunnie - @laylasbunbunny

@skz1-4-3 - @pinkies-things - @kayleefriedchicken - @dancelikebutterflywings-library

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ofprosperity · 5 months

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Felix/Yongbok x reader ☀️❤️☁️ = 🌤️

I have such black cat energy, everyday of the year and almost only smile genuinely for people I like.

The thought of dating sunshine!Felix, our soft sometimes crybaby!Yongbok has me in a tight chokehold.

He would so cherish his grumpy baby and of course you love your personal happiness in human form.

Constantly rubbing your back or holding your hand trying to make sure people don’t get on your nerves.

Even though you know it’s so hard to be upset at anything when you’re with him, you enjoy the attention.

#stray kids #skz imagines #skz #lee felix #lee yongbok #lee yongbok x reader #lee felix x reader #stray kids imagines #lee felix yongbok #stray kids headcanons #stray kids scenarios #lee felix headcanons #lee felix scenarios #lee felix imagines #lee yongbok imagines #Lee yongbok headcanons #lee yongbok scenarios #lee felix x you #Lee yongbok x you

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dazed--xx · 3 months

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SKZ! FAKE TEXTS: Felix Make Up

You feel your blood boil as you force the door open, a scowl on your face as you glare at Felix. He stood there tears streaming down his cheeks as his eyes widened in surprise. "Love...." He sighs as he wraps his arms around your waist. His head rests on your shoulder as he inhales your scent. The smell of his best friend, Sooji's perfume still all over him. The entire night was an epic fail.

What was supposed to be a fun night at the fair, became a nightmare. Let alone your boyfriend forgetting the purpose of the date in the first place. You couldn't understand how he could be so amazing but the second Sooji came around, he dropped everything for her. How could you get over this? You felt you could deal with a third wheel on your anniversary date. Felix works a lot he doesn't have much time to hang out with you often let alone his best friend. But you couldn't stand that you became the third wheel for a night you were paying for in the first place. You felt stupid, you paid for her tickets, meals, and prizes. You spoiled your now ex-boyfriend's side chick. Like an idiot. and he had the nerve to show up only minutes after you arrived home? He had the nerve to act like what they did wasn't wrong and touch you?

"Get off of me" You grit as you shove him slightly. You hear Felix whimper as his grip tightens. You can feel his head shake a resounding no. "Now. Lee Yongbok" You growl. Felix begins sobbing harshly into your shoulder. "No! Please! please...I'll do anything! Please don't make me let you go. Please don't make me leave....." He pleads. His body trembles as he continues to sob and beg.

"Do you even know what you did?"

He stares at you dumbfounded. "I-I.....uhm...I-I...." He stammers as he pulls away slightly. You use the opportunity to free yourself from his grasp and close the door behind you. "Felix, you love Sooji. You should be with her...." You state with a sad sigh. He shakes his head in denial "N-No! No that's not true. I'm sorry if I made you believe that but I swear, it's not true. I love you. Y/F/N. That's who I love. that's who I want to be with. I'm so fucking sorry but please...please believe me. i just made a mistake. I should have realized today was important and that she shouldn't have come—You think that's the problem?" You cut him off. "You think I care more that Sooji came and not the fact that you made me bankroll your little date with Sooji on our anniversary? You think her presence was the problem and not the fact that you treat her more like your girlfriend when she's around and if you don't she throws a fucking fit?"

"I-I don't know what to say....I-I didn't realize—of course you didn't. you only care about how Sooji feels. You only care about Sooji" You cut him off again "Please leave. go be with her I'm tired of being your second choice."

"You're not! stop saying that I like Sooji; I don't. I love you, I pity Sooji. Thats all! i don't want to be with her. Im sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I shouldn't have behaved like that with her. I'm sorry I made you misunderstand me but please know that the only person I want to be with is you. I'll do anything to fix this please let me fix this....." He argues, his voice cracking as he finishes his plea. He stares at you with a fear-stricken expression when you don't say anything. His hand holds yours as he sniffles. "It's my fault. I should have been better, you can be mad at me as long as you want. I-if you want to hit me that's okay.....just please, please give me a chance to fix this. I won't talk to her ever again. I won't make you uncomfortable with any more friendships. Please give me a chance...."

"I don't know, Felix....."

"I can make this up to you. you know I can. please just let me come in and we can talk. That's all I want is to talk, please..."

“What do you want me to do, Felix? Pretend I didn’t come out of the bathroom and see you guys all over each other? Pretend you didn’t show more interest in her than me? Pretend that you don't really want to be with me?”

“Stop fucking saying that!” He growls angrily as his palm slams into your door frame forcefully. His face was red as rage boiled over in his stomach "Sooji is someone I fucking pity. I feel bad for her because she was abandoned by her family. I felt like I'd be an asshole if I just ditched her too but I don't feel shit for her. I love you just fucking listen to me for once! Yes, I fucked up. but she doesn't mean what you do. She's not close to your level in my eyes so fucking stop" He growls. You flinch as he raises his voice. For a moment, he was almost unrecognizable. You had heard that he could be temperamental on occasion but you had never witnessed his anger firsthand. You look toward your neighbor's house. His hand caresses your cheek. "Look at me...." He urges, and you shake your head "You really hurt me...."

"I'll spend every day making it up to you."

"I can't trust you..."

"You can....but I-I understand why you feel like you can't. But Y/N please know, I would never do anything like this again. If my friendship with Sooji makes you uncomfortable then I won't be friends with her anymore. I won't talk to her or see her anymore....." He stammers nervously, his voice trembling slightly with fear. "I'm not the type of person to dictate your friendships, Felix. and I don't want to be with someone who doesn't know how to draw a line or notice when someone is being too much. Like if I had a guy friend that treated me the way you treat Sooji. Would that make you feel comfortable? Would you have faith in our relationship after catching me in the situation I caught you in tonight?" You question softly, nervous about his answer. You finally turn to look at him and notice the way his jaw is clenched. His free hand balled into a fist at his side, eyes closed as his anger and jealousy were painted on his expression.

"T-That's different...."

"Why? because its me? " You snide.

"No! Because I didn't even realize how it looked until now. I thought I was just being a supportive friend! I didn't mean for it to look like anything inappropriate was going on. I don't like her like that, I love you. I want to be with you. If you're so sure I don't love you then why am I here?" He argues. He steps closer to you. your chests now pressed together, as he leans in closer his lips brushing over yours. "Why am I here fighting you on this?" He whispers. You stare into his eyes feeling his sincerity. "I-I—Because—" He cut you off with a passionate kiss before you could argue. You stand frozen for a moment before your arms wrap around his neck and your lips move against his. "I love you" he whispers infatuatedly as his lips continue to move against yours. His hands gripping your waist as he pulls you closer to him. Your cheeks are a bright scarlet as he repeats the phrase over and over as he presses your back against your front door. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, My love." He kisses you softly again. "I'll make it up to you I promise. please forgive me?"

You pull away, your breath heavy and your lips swollen. Felix stared at you like a kicked puppy as you made space between you. "I'm not gonna let you off this easy....." you mumble "You better work your ass off to make this up to me..." You cross your arms, and a bright smile forms on Felix's lips as he pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you! You won't regret this I swear! I promise you, I'll make this up to you." He smiles as he rests his forehead on yours. "Starting tonight!" He states excitedly as he pulls away slightly, lifts you over his shoulder, and playfully rushes into the house as you laugh at his antics.

Taglist: @lovesunshinefelix @mlrroh @kibs-and-bits @yangbbokari @skzswife @stay-tiny-things @skz-codeeee @mademoisellebruce

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kkami-writes · 1 year

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that hufflepuff boy

pairing. hufflepuff!felix x slytherin!fem!reader ft! hufflepuff!bangchan, slytherin!seungmin, ravenclaw!hyunjin synopsis. The moment you stepped into the halls of Hogwarts your classmates had deemed you as the princess of slytherin, a title you learned to hate. If only they knew that the cold, seemingly proper girl was absolutely head over heels for Hufflepuff's resident sunshine boy, Lee Felix. tags/cw. hogwarts!au, fluff, maybe some angst if you squint, lots and lots of mutual pining, acquaintances to lovers, side seungjin, smut, slight corruption, public sex (library), virgin!felix, oral (m + f receiving), vaginal fingering, pet names (princess, love), unprotected sex (don't do it), swallowing of cum

disclaimer!!! both felix and reader are 18+, consenting adults at the time of smut. word count. 5k (5,155)

The first time you had met Felix is during third year, on a random spring morning as the two of you were paired up during potions. It had been a rough first three years for you as the nickname of Slytherin’s princess had been pushed upon you solely based on your parents' old-fashioned views. Even in this more progressive time, there were still a fair amount of pure-blood purists despite it being an unpopular stance after the second wizarding war.

Still, people had assumed you had thought the same as your parents and being sorted into slytherin hadn’t helped your case. Reluctantly, you instead fell into your role as the prim and proper princess they thought you were - no one had ever bothered to even ask if you could think for yourself or had your own opinions. Although you did have a few actual friends, the isolation you had felt from your peers had made you slightly bitter.

So when you’re paired up with a random hufflepuff who gives you the brightest smile you’ve ever seen, one that could easily rival the sun - you’re a little starstruck. You don’t think anyone has ever looked at you like this and it easily makes your cheeks darken. He treats you like a normal person, as if you were already friends and it’s…refreshing to say the least. The last person you got partnered up with had sat as far away from you as they could and didn’t talk unless absolutely necessary.

You’re surprised that you work well with the boy, him making small conversation and keeping you engaged in the potion work. Felix is nice, almost too nice, and you’re sure he’s like this with everyone but you still feel a surge of happiness when he laughs at one of your small jabs. You can’t help but think the sound is just as sweet as him.

As class ends, you’re packing up your books and Felix waves goodbye to you with that pretty smile on display.

“Bye! I hope we can talk again!” Then he’s gone and you’re left sitting there a little dazed as you stare at his retreating figure, something stirring in your chest that you’re not 100% sure of, but you do know one thing.

And it’s that Felix is made up of sugar, everything nice and sun kissed freckles, and you’re pretty sure you’re fucked.

By fifth year you had fully recognized that the flowers blooming your chest was pure adoration for the hufflepuff. You had been sitting in the library with Seungmin, who was busy with his nose in a book and blatantly ignoring your obvious heart eyes towards a certain boy who sat not too far away at his own table; him and his quidditch captain Chan were probably going over some strategies for the upcoming game this weekend. Hyunjin was on your left, the ravenclaw busy with another one of his drawings he often did.

You let out a small dreamy sigh, one that was barely audible but it was enough to have your fellow slytherin rolling his eyes and closing his book. “Are you for real? You look so pathetic…how long have you been pining over that hufflepuff for?” He groans, throwing his head back.

“Aw, I think it’s kinda cute,” Hyunjin chimes in, not looking up from his drawing.

“That’s because you’re a hopeless romantic,”

“Ok mister I read romance novels,” At this Seungmin’s ears tinge red and you think he might throw his book at the male. They thought you were annoying with your crush? They should look at themselves. With Seungmin thinking he was slick with his hidden gazes towards the ravenclaw or the many sketches Hyunjin had of the slytherin.

“Can you two shut up? I’m busy pining over here,” They both roll their eyes at you now.

“Honestly? I’m surprised he’s your type. I thought someone like Minho hyung was your type,”

“It’s because Felix is the only one willing to give yn any time of the day,” You swat at Hyunjin for that and he simply clutches his arm dramatically, whining your name.

As you play fight with your friends (was it really playing though? The three of you were probably gonna get kicked out of the library soon), it goes unnoticed by you that someone else had been staring a little too long over at your table, his eyes sparkling as he watched you interact with the two who were usually never seen without you. He’s pulled from his thoughts as his own best friend and quidditch captain Chan nudged him from his tiny daydream.

“You good mate? You've been staring at her for a while. We are supposed to be going over strategies,” He teases lightly as he watches Felix’s ears turn a little red.

“Um, right. Sorry! I’ll focus, I promise,” Chan laughs, his signature dimples showing as he ruffles up the blonde’s hair.

“It’s fine, I should probably go study for my n.e.w.t.s anyway and we have practice tomorrow so we can go over more stuff,” Felix nods, agreeing with him before his gaze is once again glancing over towards you and it looks like you’re about to strangle Seungmin, while Hyunjin holds you back by your robes with a bored look on his face. He can’t help but laugh at your guy’s ministrations - he loved that you had slowly come out of your shell since third year and had found some good friends.

Well, at least he hoped they were just friends. He wouldn’t go as far to say the two of you were friends either, just acquaintances, mostly talking to each other in the halls when you passed by or occasionally partnering up during class. But Felix still did not have the guts to ask you out on a date, the fear of rejection controlling him. Chan is nudging him again and he’s pulled out of yet another daydream.

“Damn, you’ve got it bad huh? You’ve barely even talked to her for the last two years,” “Hey, that’s not true!! I say hi to her everytime I see her in the hall!”

“Uh huh. Why are you so interested in her anyway? Aren’t her parents blood-purists? I don’t think they’d approve of a muggleborn, no offense. And she is called the slytherin princess for a reason,”

“Yeah but she’s not like that,” Felix is quick to defend you, not that he really thought Chan believed in those kinds of rumors - he was just curious about his crush.

“How do you know?” “Just- okay in third year, I remember everyone telling me to beware of the ‘slytherin princess’” he makes quotations with his fingers. “That she was cold and mean and definitely would not be nice to a muggleborn like me. But then we got partnered together during potions and she was really nice? And funny? I just thought you know, that she couldn’t be that bad. Plus! Seungmin and Hyunjin are both half-bloods, and they’re like her best friends. When we talk, just the two of us, she’s kinda shy to be honest. It’s cute and all but, when I see her like that,” Felix points to you, who is laughing hard at a joke Seungmin had said, both you and Hyunjin holding onto each other as you wheeze. The librarian shushes you loudly and gives the three of you yet another warning, only one away from getting kicked out. “When she’s alone with her friends she blossoms into this really bubbly and bright personality and I just - I want to be able to bring out that side of her when she’s with me. I wanna be able to get to know her more…you know…maybe ask her on a date,” He flushes at that and Chan lets out a low whistle that gets his own little hush from the librarian.

“Yeah, you are down atrocious my man. I think it’s time to put on your big boy pants. You should ask her out, after the hufflepuff vs slytherin game. After we win you can ask if she wants to go celebrate,”

“Oh..that might be a good idea. She always comes to the games for Seungmin. But wait, what if we lose?”

(Felix will later find out that you had only ever attended the Hufflepuff vs Slytherin games just so you could watch him, something Seungmin always complained and pouted about. “I’M your best friend! You should be watching for me!! Not that stupid pretty Hufflepuff,” “So you admit he’s pretty?”

“I fucking hate you,” ) “Then you ask her if she’ll take you on a date so you can get over this horrific loss we have faced,”

“That…makes me sound like a loser,” Chan just shrugs.

“Listen, if it gets you a date who cares,”

“Ok, yeah. You’re right. First, we’re gonna stomp Slytherin into the ground. And then- I’m gonna ask her out,”

Felix did not in fact put on his big boy pants on. While they had in fact won the game, he had frozen when you hopped over to him, a pretty smile on your face as you congratulated him on the win. His mind blanked, head empty as he just stared at how pretty you looked and how he wished he could give you his Hufflepuff scarf for you to wear. He wanted you to cheer for him during his quidditch games. He thinks you’d look breathtaking in yellow.

But instead he said a quick ‘thanks!’ before running away, face completely red and leaving you behind with a small disappointed look on your face.

By seventh year, you were no closer to being over your infatuation with the pretty freckled Hufflepuff. Even though you had dated other people here and there, no one could compare to the way your heart reacted whenever you talked to Felix briefly in the halls.

Still, you had slightly given up hope that the boy would reciprocate your feelings. Afterall, he had shown no signs of being into you - despite what Seungmin and Hyunjin had told you. You were still scared of rejection, that he wouldn’t be interested in a Slytherin like yourself, much less one still dubbed the princess of snakes.

Yet Felix continued to treat you the same as always, greeting you in the hallways with that sweet smile of his and it never failed to put butterflies in your stomach.

So when you’re paired up for a project in potions again, you can’t help the excitement that builds in your chest. It’s a more extensive project, requiring you to brew a particularly complex potion, needing to do research in the restricted section as well as write an essay.

“Hey!” Felix greets you with that devastating smile and you pretend you’re not melting on the inside. His voice had gotten so deep and that blasted australian accent was constantly trying to make your knees buckle when you heard it. You can see Seungmin in your peripheral vision, pretending to gag over how pathetic you look face to face with your crush. Subtly you flip him off and you can hear his infectious laugh as he walks out of the classroom, probably off to find Hyunjin.

“Hi Felix,”

“So, when are you free to work on the project?” “Honestly whenever you’re free, I know practice must keep you busy captain,” At the title his cheeks flush involuntarily, scratching his cheek shyly. Oh what you wouldn’t give to kiss his beautiful freckled cheeks.

“Yeah well, Seungmin has been keeping us on our toes. He’s always been good at strategy and as captain he’s really proved himself. But besides practice I'm pretty free too. We have practice on Wednesdays and Fridays. So we could do the project this weekend? If you want of course, we could pick another day if you want,”

“Nope, this weekend sounds perfect,”

“Great, wanna meet at the library at one?”

You nod and he gives you a small smile before bidding you goodbye. And that’s how you end up with a study date with one Lee Felix. (Neither of you had said the word date but you could dream and live in your delusions for a while. At least before Seungmin pulls you back down from the clouds.)

Saturday comes much faster than you expect and you take almost half the morning preparing yourself - perhaps taking a little extra time on your makeup and hair. Of course you make sure not to go too overboard, just accentuating your features a little more, wanting to impress the way too pretty Hufflepuff.

Even though you show up to the library ten minutes early, you’re surprised to find Felix already there with a book open and taking notes. When he looks up to see you his expression brightens up significantly, waving you over quickly. He’s rendered you speechless with a simple look and you can feel those annoying butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

“Sorry did I keep you waiting? I thought I was early,” You say as you take a seat next to him, pulling out your own notes and potion textbook.

“Oh no, don’t worry. I uh- got here early to get us a spot next to the restricted section,” Your head nods in understanding as you bite back a laugh, the library practically empty due to it being a Saturday.

After some brief small talk, the two of you get into researching the potion, taking extensive notes on how to properly brew the concoction without causing your cauldron to explode. It was a tricky potion, requiring absolute perfection in order to work.

Somehow during your silent period of individual research, Felix had managed to scoot as close to you as possible, thighs pressed together and you thought your heart might leap out of your chest. You can smell the hint of his floral cologne and the urge to bury your face into the crook of his neck is overwhelming.

The two of you stay like that for a while before you close your textbook, stretching out your arms and flexing your hands from writing too much.

“Shall we check out the restricted section? I think i’ve read all that I can in our textbook,”

“Yeah, same! This potion is gonna be a pain in the ass,”

“Tell me about it. I’m not exactly looking forward to actually brewing it,”

“Can’t be that bad, I’ll get to do it with you,” And there it is, those damn butterflies making another appearance. You flush before clearing your throat, moving towards the restricted section, having already gotten permission from your teacher and the librarian. Felix can’t help but find the blush on your cheeks beautiful.

The two of you moved to start to browse the new section, looking for specifics on the ingredients needed for the more intense potion that you would have to brew. Your eyes skim through the shelves, noting some of the more interesting books that you might have to take a closer look at later, specifically a fun book on jinxes that you could probably use against Seungmin who was always trying to create new spells to tease you with. And on the rare occasion the two of you would team up to bully Hyunjin instead, especially when he was bragging about acing a test he didn’t even bother studying for. It would have to wait for now as you spotted an old potioneering book that looked promising on the top shelf. Reaching for it, you cursed at how short you were - even standing on your tiptoes didn’t help as you extended your fingers as much as you could.

Suddenly you can feel a firm chest pressed to your back and a hand resting on your hip, another hand coming to grab the book you were trying to get. Your heart thumps against your ribcage at the close proximity of Felix, trying not to think about how his body feels as its pressed flush against your back or the grip on your hips as he steadies you. Slowly you turn around in his grasp, blinking up at him as he practically has you up against the bookcase, caging you in. Felix is also looking at you, an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face and the potion book in his hand. It feels like you’ve been standing there forever, both of you just getting lost in each other's eyes and you wonder how many constellations you could draw against his freckles. The way you want to count just how many he has or if he had more in other places as well. Your eyes widen when the hand that was resting on your hip is suddenly moving up to cup your cheek and you wonder if he can see the way you flush under the dim lighting of the library.

“Can I kiss you?” The deep timbre of his voice never fails to send shivers down your spine or heat into your stomach. You nod even though you really wanna say ‘hell yes’, you manage to hold back and not embarrass yourself, especially now when he’s asked something you’ve wanted to do since third year.

His lips feel plush against your own, and you vaguely wonder if this was real. If Lee Felix was really here, kissing you sweet and softly like you were the most precious and delicate object in his hands. It’s a short simple kiss and you almost go to chase his lips when he pulls back, but you don’t have to worry as he doesn’t keep you waiting too long. He drops the book to be forgotten, as he brings his other hand to fully frame your face and kisses you square on the mouth. Your head tilts as he deepens the kiss, lips molding perfectly together.

His tongue is swiping along the seam of your lips, asking for permission which you happily grant, tiers parting for him so he can lick at your own wet muscle. You can’t help the blissful sigh that falls from your lips and Felix all but eagerly swallows the noise, his pink tongue exploring every inch of you that he can. He has you fully pressed against the bookshelf now, your bodies slotted together, as if two puzzle pieces had been connected and you can start to feel something hard being pressed against your hips.

You can barely even focus on that with how dizzy the kiss is making you feel (though it’s possible it’s the lack of air as you’ve basically forgotten how to breathe). Teasingly you nip at his lower lip, sucking it into your mouth and he all but lets out a deep groan that makes you wetter than you’d like to admit. Eventually you both part for air, the two of you practically panting, lips slick with each other. You’re licking at your swollen lips, still able to taste him on your tongue as a thought pops into your head. You move to place your hands on Felix’s hips, maneuvering him so you’re the one who has him pressed against the bookshelf. He tilts his head and looks at you inquisitively, and you can’t help but coo at how cute he looks, especially with slightly reddened cheeks and completely kiss bitten lips.

It’s only when you move down to your knees does he understand what you’re doing, him scrambling to try to pull you back up but you don’t budge.

“A-ah! W-wait. What are you do-” He falters as he watches you glance up at him through your lashes, sweet innocent eyes looking up at him. Just the sight of you like this, looking so pretty on your knees for him makes his dick twitch in his pants, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

You place your hands on his thighs, running them up until your fingers are playing with the zipper of his trousers and he watches as your tongue darts out to dampen your already slick lips. “Is this ok?” You question simply, watching as Felix’s resolve crumbles, nodding his head.

With permission you’re quick to undo his pants, only pulling them down to expose his already hard cock. His dick is somehow pretty, yet it doesn’t surprise you - everything about the boy was just so pretty. You lean in to press small teasing kisses to his length, keeping eye contact with the Hufflepuff. Felix doesn’t dare take his eyes off of you, so entranced by you. As much as you’d love to tease him, to build him up until he was begging for you - the two of you weren’t exactly in a private space, so you’d have to do it another time (god you hoped there would be another time). You part your lips to take the head into your mouth and it has Felix gasping already, his head falling back against the bookcase and his hands finding purchase in your hair. You hollow your cheeks as you suck softly, his natural musky scent was mixing with the floral cologne he had put on and it was all so heady, making you slightly lightheaded.

He’s completely lost in the way your mouth feels against his hard length, warm and wet, and he’s scared to finish too fast like some virgin (even though that’s exactly what he was). Yet he can’t stop you, blunt nails grasping at your silky locks as you blow him, eliciting a moan from you that vibrates against his cock. His bottom lip is between his teeth in an attempt to stop any embarrassing noises from escaping.

Except when you’ve got his whole cock down your throat, choking on it slightly has a deep moan slipping from his lips. He’s looking down at you through half-lidded eyes, pupils blown and hazy with lust, the sight of you with your mouth absolutely stuffed with his cock has him twitching in your mouth. You can taste his salty precum in the back of your throat, desperate to see what his release will taste like.

“Ah…fuck. Princess you look so pretty like this…’m gonna cum,” He grunts softly and he can’t help the small buck of his hips into your mouth.

You definitely weren’t expecting the nickname, but you found yourself liking it MUCH more when it was coming from Felix. You open your mouth with your tongue lolling out when he tells you he’s close, blinking up at him and he gets the message. He releases your hair to bring his hand to his cock, stroking it once, twice - before he’s coming thick ropes into your mouth. You patiently wait for him to finish before you’re swallowing his load and you definitely don’t miss the way he groans just from watching you do that. A giggle falls from your lips as you come to stand up and he’s quick to kiss you again, moaning from tasting himself against your swollen tiers.

He’s tucking himself back into his pants but not bothering to redo his pants before he’s once again moving you so he can press you against the bookshelf. It’s your turn to tilt your head in questioning as he moves to kneel down, hands running up your upper thighs until they’re disappearing under your skirt. He loops his fingers into your panties as he looks up at you.

“Can I?” He asks and his eyes are still dark with arousal, completely gone at this point. You nod far too eagerly and he chuckles deeply at how excited you look, slowly dragging your (damp) underwear down, having you step out of them. He slips them into his back pocket with a smirk.

“You’re not getting these back,”

Your mouth is wide with his bold words, wondering where the shy Felix has gone. You don’t really have much time to think more about it before he’s diving under your skirt and attaching his mouth to your wet cunt, a hand coming up to your mouth to muffle the sound that leaves your lips involuntarily. He laps at your core, moaning against you at your taste and the vibrations only aid in your pleasure. You can’t even see him with your skirt completely covering him but you can’t find it in you to even care, the way his tongue is flicking at your clit has you whimpering. His hands are gripping at your hips tightly and you hope that he leaves a mark, a memory of this moment you shared with him.

He has you all but clenching around nothing as his lips suck on your sensitive bud and your back is arching off the bookshelf and your head is thrown back. Soft moans spill from your lips and the sounds go straight to his dick, feeling himself hardening again in his pants. It doesn’t matter though as his focus is on you and he so badly wants you to cum against his tongue. Felix easily slips two fingers into your heat with how slick you are and you let out a soft sigh at the sensation. He’s a little clumsy with them but you’re too far gone to really care, feeling your thighs start to shake and that familiar pressure building in your lower stomach.

“Lix- Lixie. I’m close,” You manage to mumble out, not knowing how much longer you are gonna last, especially with how his skillful tongue continues to work you to your high. With your words he’s once again latching onto your clit with his lips, sucking eagerly and his fingers pushing into you faster. He hums against your core and you’re gone, your rather loud moan muffled by your hand as you’re coming against his face. Felix doesn’t stop lapping at your pussy until you have to push him away, feeling sensitivity starting to build.

When he comes back up he has to hold you up, your legs shaking slightly in the aftermath of your orgasm. He’s quick to have his lips on yours again and you can taste yourself against his tongue. He can tell he’s going to quickly become absolutely addicted to kissing you, your lips so soft against his own. Felix is pressing against you and you can feel that he’s hard again, so you reluctantly pull away to call out to him.

“Felix,” You start, suddenly feeling shy even though you literally just had his dick in your mouth.

“Yes love?” It really feels like he’s trying to kill you with these nicknames but you push through, letting your hips rock against his and he’s biting at his lip hard to stop himself from moaning.

“I want you. So bad. . .need you inside me,”

He seems a little hesitant but he can’t deny the way his dick twitches just at the thought of being buried inside you. How warm and tight you’d feel against his length.

“Are- Are you sure?” You nod. You’ve never been so sure about anything in your life.

“Yes. I-If it’s okay with you,” Still you stress this point, not wanting to pressure him but you’d be lying if you weren’t still absolutely soaked for the boy in front of you.

“How can I say no to you?” He hums, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before slowly turning you around to have you bent forward slightly. You grab onto the bookshelf to ground yourself, biting at your bottom lip as you feel him grinding his clothed cock against your core. You’re about to open your mouth to beg him to stop teasing you but then you feel his tip pressing against your entrance and all thoughts are flying out of your head. Felix is gripping you tightly by the waist and slowly, almost agonizingly slowly he pushes in. You can feel every single inch until he’s completely sheathed in your warmth and the groan he lets out fills your belly with straight heat.

“F-fuck. So good, you feel so good princess,” He groans, his breath heavy as he shakily pulls out just enough so he can easily slide back in, setting a slightly uneven pace but it feels so good that you don’t even care. All you can think about is Felix, the way his hands feel against your skin, how sweet he sounds as he murmurs praises against your ear, the way his cock fills you so nicely - your head is so blissfully empty besides the Hufflepuff and you love it. He angles himself upwards, finding your sweet spot so easily and you clench around him the moment he hits it.

His hips rock languidly into you as he flips your skirt up so he can see the way his cock disappears into your soaked cunt. Felix is so entranced at the way your arousal clings to his length, you’re so wet you’re practically dripping down your thighs and it makes it so much easier to thrust into you. He knows he’s not gonna last very long so he grabs you to pull you flush against his chest, holding you to him as a hand wraps to your front, two fingers rubbing at your clit.

“Lix! Oh- Oh…’m close,” You mumble out, gasping as he holds you against his body, your hips trying to meet his thrusts.

“Yeah? Gonna cum princess? Need you to cum all over my cock. Can you do that love?” He hums into your ear and his voice has you absolutely gone, Felix purposely making it just a little bit deeper. The way his cock is pressing against your gummy g-spot has you seeing stars.

It doesn’t take long until you’re shuddering and coming, your walls spasming around Felix which has him reaching his own orgasm - spilling into you with his warm seed. Both of you are panting hard with you holding onto the bookshelf as if it was your last lifeline, practically the only thing keeping you up with how shaky your knees are.

When he pulls out you whine a little, feeling his cum leaking down your thighs. He watches for a second, seeing his own release dripping from your pussy has a surge of pride filling his chest. After a second he pulls out his wand, muttering a quick spell that cleans you up, thankful that charms had been his best class. You need a bit longer to collect yourself, your head slightly fuzzy from two orgasms.

Felix is busy looking you over, making sure your uniform is neat and smoothing your hair down. It’s all sweet and lowkey domestic, making your heart swell at the Hufflepuff in front of you. He smiles that smile you love and it baffles you how this boy could go from fucking you in the restricted section of the library to this innocent looking sunshine.

He’s coming to cup your face again, leaving a few kisses against your cheeks before kissing your lips.

“So like…I know this is backwards but uh- do you like? Maybe wanna go on a date sometime? And be my girlfriend?”

#stray kids #felix x reader #yongbok x reader #lee felix x reader #felix fluff #felix fic #felix imagines #felix reactions #felix scenarios #felix smut #stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids fic #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fanfic

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ybklix · 3 months

Text

𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖚𝖑 𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑

★ pairing: subneedy-slightly inexperienced!felix x horny fem!reader

✦summary: Temptation and lust take over Felix when he meets you; he is a young adult with an angel face who really is an angel, he is a naive and kind man who moves to a new neighborhood and has to change his usual church as it is part of his routine and hobby. You have an angel face with intense feelings and hidden thoughts worthy of the red bad man from hell himself, you can't wait to satiated your deepest desires with the new pretty boy you met at church. Making Felix sin, over and over again.

♡ warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, daddy kink, teasing, handjob, masturbation, oral sex, sex in the church (sorry), boobplay, multiple orgasms, fingering, faceriding, unprotected sex, creampie, praise kink, slight aftercare.

word count: 8.2k (i may need to learn how stfu)

MASTERLIST — TAGLIST FORMS

𓆩❤︎𓆪 warning: mention of religion and religious objects, without ofending anyone I hope.

;༊ playlist: only angel by harry styles ๋࣭ ⭑ gods & monsters by lana del rey ๋࣭ ⭑ god is a woman by ariana grande ๋࣭ ⭑ religion by lana del rey

dividers by fairytopea & anitalenia

❝𝐢 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐡, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐧❞ ❦

Oh, sweet lord, you thought. You couldn't take your eyes off him, from the moment he stood in that sacred place to read the Sunday mass reading, you watched every detail like a predator guarding its prey. After so many years of accompanying your parents as a family tradition, the mass was finally getting interesting. Oh, amen, amen.

The man returned to his seat, right in the front seats so you could only see his long, dyed blond hair combed into a man bun from a distance and in detail. You were seated next to your parents in the middle of the seats, the ceremony continued, until it finally ended and… between a little yawn, you waited for the people to gradually leave, without losing sight of the blond boy; you noticed that he didn't leave either, usually your family stayed until the end since they were such a well known and respected family, your parents greeted and said goodbye to each of the people who attended the church that Sunday, from the usual people, to the new ones, so you waited for the boy to come closer, besides your father was the older brother of the priest of the church.

Finally, no one was left, just the few other families talking outside the church, and the blond boy talking to your uncle, until finally they both approached you, who were outside the church. You watched him closely from top to bottom looking at every detail of him, he was so cute, he had a beauty that caught you instantly, he was slim, delicate features, big lips and eyes, you noticed the delicate freckles spread under his eyes down his cheeks and nose, looking so innocent, he looked like a nerd, totally your type, he looked like at any moment he was going to correct you of your mistake with a 'actually', with his white diamond pattern vest, a short sleeved shirt underneath, his beige pants with a belt and his big glasses with a square shape, who the fuck in the 21st century dressed this conservative, he simple was cute.

“This is Felix, he just moved to the neighborhood, so now he comes to this church, he used to go to another church in another district, honestly I'm happy we can keep him” your uncle commented, amused and with a smile, introducing the blond boy who looked shy.

Felix, you repeated in your head, interesting name. He smiled shyly and sweetly.

“Nice to meet you, my pleasure, I'm really new to the neighborhood” he spoke, surprising everyone except your uncle, who already seemed to know him, with an incredible thick voice, not matching his angelic face.

Felix shook your parents's hands and then it was your turn, you took his soft, medium sized hand as you smiled at him, you didn't think your gaze was heavy, until you noticed Felix swallowed saliva nervously at the sight of you as he shook your hand, marking his notorious Adam's apple on his throat. You went back to watching him without missing any detail, from his few, slightly noticeable roots in his hair, to the delicious, delicate veins marked on his slender arms with soft hair. He wore a ring with crosses on his right index finger and another cross necklace. You couldn't help it, you had him in your sights, he was so cute you couldn't help but think of him in such dirty situations, maybe you were just ovulating, or you really wanted to fuck him.

Felix felt a little uncomfortable, your gaze was more than obvious and penetrating, but Felix didn't finish deciphering it, he didn't want to think that someone pretty would see him with such evil eyes.

“A pleasure Felix, we are the priest's family, this is our daughter, Y/N” your father spoke, "Welcome to the neighborhood.”

You smiled at Felix, now innocently but mischievously now that he knew your name.

“She's in college, I know she's young and baby-faced” your mother hastened to say, recognizing that Felix was a cute boy who looked close to your age.

You couldn't even turn to look at your mother moodily, your eyes were glued to Felix.

“Felix will give little catechesis to the children and Y/N, I think Felix can guide you to teach you the bible, so you can teach soon” advised your uncle and priest.

You blinked suddenly, perplexed that fate was in your favor.

“Of course, uncle, I'd love to” you replied, more than happy, without wiping off your smile and looking straight at Felix.

Felix wanted to sweat… he recognized that he liked you instantly, wearing your pretty floral sundress, exquisitely marking your silhouette and breasts, your very feminine appearance, your light make-up, hairstyle hair and sweet scent, you drove him crazy and… he rarely had female contact.

“Oh, of course she'll be there” added your mother, also happy that you could meet a nice and cute church boy.

“Oh, our dear Felix is a very good Samaritan, he just came back from volunteering, but his life duties called him” your uncle commented.

Cute, handsome and truly a good person, he just lacked some damn wings and halo for him to start flying, you thought.

“Oh, Felix, what are you doing on Friday? Let us welcome you to the neighborhood” spoke your father.

“I'd love to” Felix replied cheerfully.

“Friday at our place, we'll cook something delicious for you, I'll send you the address and Y/N… you'll see him on...” commented your father.

“Wednesday and Thursday” Felix quickly replied, which surprised you, “In the afternoon if you can, because of the university and thank you for the invitation, sir.”

“I'll be there” you replied to Felix, smiling at him, with such a dark look that only he could decipher.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Wednesday. Your horniness calmed down a little bit from monday to wednesday, you thought that maybe you were over exaggerating with Felix, that he really was a nice and cute guy, and that you should stop with the sudden dirty thoughts that crossed your mind. You walked into the small room, compared to the rest of the place, of the church where Felix would give you lessons on how to interpret bible verses and readings to train you to give lessons to the kids too, honestly, every year since you turned eighteen, your parents and uncle would insist you to support them with those little lessons to the kids so they can do their communion and confirmation but… you always ignored them and, it was until with Felix you were completely hooked and engaged.

You walked in quietly, apparently there was no one in the church and you didn't want to make noise and, you died of tenderness to find Felix on his knees, praying. He really was a bible eater, you thought, you didn't understand why you were suddenly so turned on by the fact that he was such a nice, good boy. You saw him in silence, apparently he didn't notice your presence, he was still concentrating, holding a rosary in his hands. Five minutes later, he finished, he crossed himself and opened his eyes and stood up, he saw you standing at a distance looking at him, which surprised him a little.

You smiled at his reaction, he was really concentrating on praying.

“Hi” you said to him, setting your bag down on one of the tables in the place, moving dangerously close to him.

Felix rubbed his hands, instantly sweating, on the denim of his jeans, nervous. The truth was… Felix liked you so much that he didn't know how to react, it was silly, but he was a bit naive to believe in love at first sight, he was convinced that what he felt with you at first sight was an inexplicable connection and the poor guy couldn't control his emotions and his little body excited at the mere sight of you. His heart was pounding and he was blushing slightly. Felix hadn't flirted with a woman in years, he was 24 years old and only dedicated himself to his job as a programmer and in his free time he adored with an incredible passion the church, but he got a wonderful job so he opted for a neighborhood closer to the place, so… girls and relationships was something that without realizing it, he started to displace from his life, until you arrived.

“Hello” nervously replied Felix in a low tone.

My god, you loved his voice. You adored him, you wanted to do all the cheesiness in the world in public and the dirtiest obscenity in private. Again, you were horny.

“I see you went ahead, you prayed without me” you told him slowly, trying to have a conversation.

You were definitely going to seduce him today. You just wanted to see his reaction and make sure if he also wants to play along and take it somewhere else.

“You w-want to pray?” he replied nervously.

You lifted your shoulders, with an impish grin, “Mmhum, why not” you got down on your knees in front of him without breaking eye contact.

You held onto his leg a little and were left in such a compromising position, right in front of his cock. Felix cleared his throat and took a step back instantly, so surprised by your action, you innocently closed your eyes, as if you had done nothing, raised your chin proudly and clasped your hands together.

Felix wasn't an idiot, but he chose to believe you did it without thinking, he believed so much in the goodness of people, it wouldn't fit in his head that someone so pretty, educated and family oriented suddenly behaved strangely, with double meaning. You pretended to pray, you were not concentrating, you asked god for forgiveness for just thinking of all the shapes and colors Felix's penis could be, while you were supposed to be praying. You stayed like that for a few minutes, not getting tired, you were young and your knees were strong. Felix saw you, with such a straight posture as you prayed, you wore a short white clingy skirt, so short he could almost see little fabric of your pink panties, Felix's heart pounded again… he hadn't analyzed you, you wore a tight top, marking your breasts and showing your navel… he watched you dumbfounded, as if he had never seen a woman before.

You felt his gaze, who would have thought that with his soft looks, he also had a penetrating gaze, you half opened one eye, managing to see blurred that he was licking his lips. You finished, stood up nimbly, almost forgetting to cross yourself from your fake prayer, wiped your bare knees and watched him cheerfully, almost waiting for a command from him.

“Aham” cleared his throat once more Felix, trying to avert his gaze from you, “You have… background knowledge of how to read the bible?”

You nodded, bored, it really wasn't the kind of relationship or lessons you wanted from him. You sat down on the bench, patting your side and inviting him to sit down. Felix picked up his heavy book and sat down next to you, nervous about your closeness. He saw your bare thighs, your skirt getting shorter… after all, Felix was a man entitled to feel, and his body was reacting on its own, he quickly placed the heavy bible on his lap, trying to hide his growing erection he felt so painful, he felt guilty and surprised, he knew he liked you… but seeing you suddenly show a little more skin, turned him on too much.

You noticed Felix, flushed, nervous and with his ears red.

“H-honestly I didn't prepare a class itself, I don't know what priest Kim was referring to, if you occupy any guidance let me know” he spoke, without looking you in the eyes, looking down at the floor.

You sought his gaze, but he was unwilling to look at you, you laughed in disbelief.

“I don't know what he meant either, I only said yes to spend time with you” you said, suddenly, exciting him more with your voice.

You slowly noticed the tension in the room, you were surprised how fast it was going to work with Felix, all you have done is dress in short clothes, you hadn't even made a proper innuendo to him and he looked like he was already struggling with himself, you thought it was amazing, when you really make a move on him he would explode, you thought, you had barely been there a little over 10 minutes and his pretty freckles were tinged with red under his cheeks.

Felix felt pity, shame, and so much guilt, but he could not control himself, his erection was growing more and more and his body was excited, he was not thinking clearly, suddenly lust was filling his body… he thought, what kind of magnetism you must have to put him like this and if, it really was a divine test not to fall into temptation, you were a very tempting and beautiful demon, that Felix would be willing to give himself completely if you continued.

He was so needy, he wasn't a virgin, he lost his virginity when he was eighteen with his first girlfriend, then he had another one at twenty… but the sex was so smooth, so simple and vanilla, but you, oh Felix thought how incredible you must be sexually. Everything about you said so, said you would know how to please him, your confidence, the sway of your hips and your subtle tone and suggestive looks. Felix was losing his mind.

“I want to know more about you” you opened your eyes excitedly, telling him, to which he finally looked into your eyes.

“What do you wanna know?” he asked, in agony, wishing his pain would end soon, his throbbing cock drowning in his tight jeans.

You went back to admiring Felix, he was again wearing his glasses and now had a half ponytail, leaving some of his long hair loose.

“I don't know… what do you do for a living, how old are you…?”

Felix wanted to let out a sigh, but didn't want to look too obvious.

“I'm a computer programmer” you looked at him attentively, waiting for a more concrete answer, “I repair them and install important programs to companies” he added, in a strangely deeper voice than usual.

You looked at him with admiration, he really was a little nerd trapped in an attractive body and face, you would not be surprised if he was a virgin…. or… you bit your lip at the thought that maybe behind his innocent appearance could be an insatiable monster. You also thought about how nimble he would be with his hands.

Felix was normal, a gen Z boy with a job, he grew up in a family environment where his parents always let him express himself widely with who he is and explore his persona, that's why he feels free to dye his hair but he chose the church as a hobby, he adored it with passion, he was religious and wasn't afraid to admit it… however just now he felt like the most vile and sinful being on the planet, he felt dirty, promiscuous and lustful, falling into temptation.

“And you…?” added Felix, standing up suddenly, turning his back to you, to move away. He could no longer stay close to you without his member aching.

Felix regretted it though, now he didn't know how to hide his erection, you instantly followed him, stood up and moved closer to him.

“I don't want to talk about me, I just want you to talk about you” you replied, seductively as you frowned.

You found his attitude strange, almost sweating, he turned his body, for the way his hands clung to the big book, glued to him, curious, you moved his arms, trying to push the book away, but his grip was strong, you looked him in the eyes quickly, in sign of what he was hiding, Felix felt trapped and with embarrassment, he let you take the bible from him, leaving it on the table next to him and surprising you by noticing that your new church instructor was aroused, reflecting with a bulge in his pants, hard.

You bit your lip, so surprised that you literally didn't lift a finger.

“Oh wow, you're seriously excited about preaching the word of the lord” you teased, watching as he increasingly pulled back and held from the desk, pinning his body to the wall, his pronounced Adam's apple quivering nervously, “You're seriously excited” you whispered, bringing your hand to his erection, stroking it.

“P-please don't” he requested, in a halting, excited sigh, “There's people outside. Stop.”

“Actually we're alone, it's the priest's nap time and the night watchman doesn't arrive until eight, the janitor doesn't work on Wednesdays” you told him again teasingly, with a smug smile.

Felix gasped, as he felt your hand squeeze his bulge, you moved up to his chin, watching in detail his thick lips half open.

“Stop” he whimpered.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me to really stop and I will” you commanded, searching his gaze but he never dared to look at you.

Your smile widened, as did the swelling of Felix's cock, he felt so needy and you were incredibly attractive as to be true, it was obvious that deep down, you awakened his sexual appetite that he thought he had put on pause, or at least know how to control.

“Do you like it when I touch you?” you said again teasingly, but excitedly, your panties were starting to get soaked and sticky, you would do anything to feel his heart shaped lips brush against your pussy just now while pulling on his long soft hair.

Felix didn't respond, he just let out a held back moan, all his muscles were tense, all of him was tense, he needed to relax, and you noticed it.

“Why are you like this, Felix? I just want to make you feel good” you told him almost in pleading, with a slight pout and with sparkling eyes, Felix saw your eyes again, finding your pretty and angelic look so demanding and hot, “You can de-stress with me, come on” you smiled mischievously.

And the next thing you did was to remove your top and bra in one swift movement, leaving your young, round breasts in full view and at Felix's mercy. Felix looked at you in fright, and then at your garments which you set aside on the desk.

“No, no, no, no, put that back on” he said nervously in a low voice, reaching for your clothes with his hands.

You quickly caught his hand, then the other, leading them both to touch your breasts, Felix didn't remove himself, he was carried away by the sensation of your hard nipple brushing his palm, he bit his lips, incredibly aroused, able to cum just by touching your tits.

“Just touch me and de-stress a little, aren't they soft?” you gasped.

Very soft, Felix thought, grabbing them with more confidence and squeezing them, massaging them delicately enjoying every second, he had never felt boobs like that, he never thought they would turn him on so much either… his former sexual relations consisted of sizzling kisses, him caressing his penis and then entering his ex-girlfriend's vagina, Felix did not know the slow, wicked and delicious art of foreplay. You gasped as you felt him enjoy your tits and took your hands off him, down to his pants.

“May I?” you asked innocently playing with the button of his pants.

“Yes, please” Felix gasped, needy.

At this point temptation got the best of him, he hadn't even fucked you yet and he was already empathizing with Adam and Eve for tasting the forbidden fruit, it just felt so fucking good, his body was shaking, his cock was pumping and the adrenaline had him on edge.

You smiled, so prettily that Felix wanted to melt, you looked so pretty with your cheeks flushed, your lipgloss and eyelashes curled and a look so dark and evil. Felix thought you were definitely an angel, one cast out of heaven for misbehaving, banished to earth, ready to torture men.

You bit your lip and quickly pulled down his pants, seeing his hard cock between his boxers, you sighed in surprise, so what you had expected… you stroked him over the fabric, taking in from his balls to his entire length trapped in his boxers and, with such a hungry look, you pulled down his underwear, freeing his stiff cock, as cute and needy as he was. You sighed, it was better than you could have imagined, it wasn't small, let alone monstrously huge, it was perfect for filling your pussy to the bottom and moving it without pain. Its pink, sensitive tip was already covered in its glistening precum and the rest of its length was a more slightly tan color, covered in veins. You needed it inside you, now. You took him between your hands, his cock throbbed just like your wet pussy, you would love to get down on your knees and suck him off, but you knew Felix would get so carried away he would lose awareness of his surroundings and you needed to be alert, after all you were in a church where you were supposed to study the bible, anyone could walk in.

And you watched Felix so needy with his red sex and hands squeezing your breast, just this time, you would make him cum in your hand, just because he was a pretty boy and you wanted his nice shiny cum in you, making a mess.

You couldn't help but let out a slight teasing giggle, honestly it wasn't the kind of thing you did, you rarely had sex with college guys because you were very selective with who you let yourself go and satisfy yourself sexually, it wasn't like you went around wanting to suck the cock of any cute guy you could find like you did with Felix either, there was something about him that held you captive.

Felix felt your giggle in every part of his being, the vein in his neck began to exalt and his grip on your breasts became tighter as he felt your hand gently play with his foreskin and then run it up and down his length. Felix moaned, his voice thick, so loud it terrified him that anyone could have heard him.

Your gaze focused on his cock and then you looked into his eyes as you found your pace, pulling on it, stroking it up and down, giving attention to his testicles, teasing his glans with his slippery precum, moving it at your mercy as if it were a toy and a rigid joystick as you watched him with a haughty grin. Felix was struggling with all his might, thinking of nothing but the incredible sexual pleasure you were giving him, gasping in a deep voice "Oh, god" and you felt him so close, his body twitching and his sex throbbing and agonizing for release.

“Cum for me, daddy, please, fill my hand with your cum” you whispered to him, not resisting any longer and moved in to kiss him.

You wondered why you didn't kiss him before, so desperate were you both that you forgot to feel his sweet lips before the dirty act. His lips trembled and let out a sigh, suddenly Felix had cum in your hand, spilling all his glory all over you, you felt his thick warm liquid, you would have loved to see his needy tip expelling his semen, but you were so focused on his lips, you smiled and kissed him again, his lips as soft and sweet as cotton candy, he followed your kiss, embarrassed to have his cock exposed, still he enjoyed your nice romantic kiss, almost making him fall in love with you.

He felt so sorry and guilty, but there was no doubt you would know how to treat him so well. You were still still horny and wet, but you were not crazy enough to ride his cock in a church room, you could wait for him, if it's for Felix you would be so patient with your good boy.

˚₊‧꒰Ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The next day came, you were so excited about your second encounter with Felix, you wanted to feel his throbbing sex in you again, you wanted to see his every reaction, so needy for your touch with his delightful gasps in the background. However your plans came crashing down when your uncle called, saying Felix couldn't attend which disappointed and upset you, you understood that poor Felix must have been embarrassed, his whole pretty head must have been over thinking all night, but he didn't have to, you want him and you are willing for him to get to fucking heaven if he wants to touch you and you were going to make it clear to him if you should continue… or if he really wants you to stop.

Felix knew he could have sex, like any normal person, but really after not having sex for a while he thought he would be saving himself more eagerly for the woman he would take to the altar of the church; but what hurt him most was that he did such a grotesque act in the presence of god, in his house, he was so tormented that he did not know how to remedy himself, neither praying 100 rosaries, nor going to confession would make the guilt leave his sinful little body.

On Friday he couldn't escape his already agreed welcome to the neighborhood, so he had to see you no matter how much he avoided you. That Friday Felix gave his first catechism class to the kids and went home to shower and get ready, where, in his shower he thought of you all the time, he thought of you in his vulnerable moments, he thought of you the night you touched him, and he touched himself and now he was masturbating to your image in his shower, pulling on his needy cock as if he were a horny teenager, he couldn't help it, he was suddenly full of you.

Felix rang your doorbell nervously, fixing his long hair and clothes almost shaking and letting out a sigh, you ran to your door; as soon as you left the university you rushed to get ready to see Felix again. You opened the door and found him, once again with his half ponytail, big glasses and wearing all white, white jeans, white shirt, and a thin jacket as an accessory.

“Welcome” you said to him with a big smile, letting him pass.

Your whole family greeted Felix, your mother's sister, your aunt, your parents, and your uncle, priest of the local neighborhood church. Your mother suggested Felix to wait a bit in the living room while she served dinner, you followed Felix, sitting next to him, this time you were dressed more modest, still wearing a short skirt, but not enough to show your butt. You wanted to whisper so many things to Felix, but your father was there, asking the poor boy if he was interested in football. Dinner was ready, which saved Felix from your father's conversation and your closeness, everyone washed their hands and, he took a seat as sweetly your mother instructed him and you, who saw your little sixteen year old cousin with every intention of sitting next to the pretty boy in the only available seat next to him, pushed her, to which your aunt sweetly said “Oh, Sally, come sit here.” Your parents were at the ends of the table, your uncle the priest, your mother's sister, and your cousin, sitting across from you at the sides of the table, you and Felix alone. Felix wanted to let out a half-hearted sigh at having you near, but tried to forget all thoughts and focus on a nice healthy dinner.

“Let's pray for food,” your mother said.

Everyone put their hands together and closed their eyes, you did it last managing to see how everyone at the table did, you prayed, oh god forgive me for what I will do, but I can't stop.

You waited for Felix to stop praying, you didn't want to be so mean and interrupt him in his sacred moment of prayer and, when you saw him tenderly open his big round brown eyes, you dropped your hand on his thigh caressing it. Felix opened his eyes, surprised, but he didn't want to show a stronger reaction since he was in the presence of more people, but that never stopped you.

He slyly lowered his hand, stopping yours, again not allowing you to take him into forbidden territory, but he had to pretend to eat, so he took both cutlery while your hand started stroking his member and, like magic, Felix slowly got hard in such a short time, Felix over bit the fork, almost sighing, which caused the attention of the others at the table.

“The food is delicious” he excused himself embarrassed with his red face and a smile.

You were teasing him so much, you squeezed his marked penis in his pants, it was so much fun to feel it, you wanted to sit on it, rub yourself on it, run your face in it, you wondered desperately when it would finally happen. You decided that you tortured poor Felix when you saw him so needy, struggling with not panting, with a smile you pulled your hand away and just kept watching him out of the corner of your eye. But the excitement wouldn't stop or leave Felix's body, he didn't know what to do, everyone was finishing dinner, ready to move from the table, but once he stood up, a visible erection in his pants would be present, leaving him looking like a pervert.

You checked your Felix again, still hard, you looked at him with tenderness and compassion, thinking that the poor guy must and must have suffered a lot.

“Felix and I will clear the table” you went ahead to say.

“But what are you talking about, he is a guest, let your cousin help you” your mother replied, getting up from the table.

“Mary, leave Y/N alone with the boy…” your aunt whispered half-jokingly to your mother, “Don't worry dear, we'll be in the living room, I'll play the piano for a while.”

Felix felt the slightest bit of relief to see the people leave, so he could go towards the bathroom embarrassed trying to calm down…. but he saw you, so attractive and with an arrogant smile, which infuriated him a little, it infuriated him that you can play with him whenever you feel like it.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Felix claimed to you, annoyed, which surprised you quite a bit.

You both stood up from the table and proudly saw his outstanding erection caused only by your minimal frictions.

“We can sneak out to so I can help you with that, daddy” you whispered to him, approaching him ready to stroke him again but he stopped your wrist tightly.

“Don't even think about it and don't call me daddy. Where is the bathroom?” he said again annoyed and domineering, confusing you.

You pointed him where to go and, you didn't know if you were more turned on by his unexpectedly domineering attitude… or if you really pissed him off and had ruined your chances.

Felix ran to the bathroom and cursed internally, every inch of his cock ached, and he cursed you too for being a pretty promiscuous girl driving him crazy, he thought there was no other choice but to make himself cum, so he pulled down his pants and underwear and started to jerk off holding back his every gasp, Felix took his thick swollen cock in his medium sized hands, so sensitive it almost made him shudder, thinking it could be your hands pleasuring him and began to stroke himself frantically bringing him to orgasm, biting his lip hard and throwing his head back in pure pleasure, almost crying. His sixth masturbation since he met you, one after your first encounter, three on Thursday, one before he came to see you and…. one just now in your mothers guest bathroom. Felix dropped all his semen into the toilet and flushed the handle hard followed by washing his hands frantically and maniacally as if he was trying to clean up blood from a atrocious crime he had just committed.

You disappointed, on the other hand, went to listen to your aunt play, until you felt Felix's fresh fragrance and presence next to you, he had decided that he didn't want it to stay that way and that, after all, he was still a normal 24 year old male, in every right to explore his sexuality and, you were cute, close to his age, he liked you, you wanted him, why not give it a try.

“Why don't you… come to my place tomorrow to discuss something…” whispered Felix in your ear slyly in his deep voice.

You smiled broadly, you couldn't wait.

˚₊‧꒰Ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Saturday, glorious Saturday before your Sunday family reunion at church, Felix finally took the initiative and invited you to be alone. Now it was you, who knocked on the door of his apartment nervously, but he was already waiting for you as he had to let you into the building first. He opened the door with a wide smile, so tender that you wanted to pinch his cheeks, but you only returned the gesture, for some reason, now you felt a little shy, after being the one who had taken all the important steps… You greeted each other shyly and you held out your shopping bag, indicating that you had brought him something.

“Come in, sorry about the mess, I'm still tidying up” he said, after you had seen apartment more neat and tidy apartment ever.

“I brought wine… I guess I didn't give you the proper welcome to the neighborhood” you told him seductively with a smile and dared to give him a quick kiss, which made him blush in seconds.

“I… cooked, well more like baked dessert and ordered dinner” he replied nervously, causing you tenderness.

You smiled at him and you both sat down to eat, bringing up any topic of conversation only to hear his voice and closely analyze the peculiar way his mouth moved every time he spoke, how his eyes looked up when he thought about something and his hands were in constant motion as he chatted about something.

You both relaxed afterwards, with nothing more to say, so you looked around his entire apartment and something of what looked like a keyboard in pieces caught your attention, you approached it, it was on the little table in front of his main couch in his living room.

“You were doing this? What is it?” you asked him with interest.

Felix followed you and stood there with his hands slightly shoved in his pants pockets.

“Oh, it's nothing, just a keyboard, I was just assembling it for fun.”

You looked at him, so tenderhearted, you literally didn't understand anything he said but you really liked him “You're so cute” you blurted out naturally, “Come here” you told him.

Felix sat next to you, obeying you and a little nervous, you approached his face with a smile and he watched you, suddenly you touched his lips, joining you both in an intimate act, you both enjoyed the angelic touch of your lips, but you couldn't help turning it into something more daring, opening your mouth and letting Felix explore inside you, but you noticed him so shy and insecure, you slowly let your body fall over him, you leaned down while your hand nimbly caressed his cock again, he grabbed you by the waist, taking you both into a sizzling and hot make out session.

But you couldn't wait, you were finally alone and it was more than obvious that Felix wanted to take things to another level, so you parted from him, agitated and unashamed, you undressed completely, exalting Felix, totally lost in your naked silhouette, and feeling bad for not having time to appreciate you in underwear, maybe next time; you approached him playfully, taking his shirt, without saying any words and also inviting him to undress. Felix was more than excited, he felt like a first timer exploring sex, as horny as a young man discovering his first porn, you were for him an erotic divinity, exploring every part of him he never thought existed, like the incredible lust and desire for intense sex.

Felix took off his shirt, revealing his thin complexion but marked abdomen, you bit your lip and without thinking twice you got on your knees in front of him, this time looking him in the eyes while you tried to pull down his pants, you caressed his marked abdomen and lowered your hand to unbutton his pants, he helped you to pull it down and playfully you slid all his jeans down his legs, taking them off. Felix gasped as he felt your warm breath near his cock, once again you saw him so yielding, his ears red and his cheeks flushed, you smiled and kissed his stiff cock on the fabric just to tease him some more.

For some strange reason, you loved to hear him so needy, like that time in church when he practically begged you to jerk him off, always so cute and kind not forgetting to say please.

You took his cock, still stimulating it on the cloth, looked him in the eyes and asked, “Do you want me to suck you off, Lix? Do you want to feel my mouth on your cock?”

Felix looked at you perplexed but excited to hear you talk so dirty, but gasped as he felt your tight hand on his member, he felt like he was going to cum at any moment. He nodded encouragingly and desperately.

“Yes-yes please, do it” he requested, pleading with his big eyes and contrasting with his raspy voice.

You smiled brightly and deftly pulled down his boxer shorts, freeing his hard swollen cock, sensitive to have its tip dripping with his precum, so throbbing and ready for use. You took him in, stroking his entire length, stuck out your tongue and your first taste of him was his thick glans, so soft and slippery on your restless tongue, you sucked on his tip, teasing him and causing a little 'pop' sound as you pulled him away from your mouth. Needless to say Felix was in heaven itself, he had never felt this desperate and excited in his life, you were giving him an unforgettable night.

You kissed his length and ran your tongue all around to lubricate it and taste every part of him as you massaged his balls. Even his genitals were as soft as he was, masculine looking, but tender. Felix kept whimpering in a high-pitched whine, unable to control the incredible sexual release that every little thing you did gave him. And finally, you introduced his member in your mouth, making him experience his first blowjob, Felix could not believe it, but it was true, his pasts girlfriends never bothered to satisfy him in such a way… he was always leaning towards the serious and reserved girls and at the end of the day they were, for poor Felix, complete dull in bed, but not for you, you who would love to try everything with Felix. He took his bending index finger into his mouth, biting it hard as he enjoyed the sensation of your cavity embracing his cock while you made eye contact with him, slowly he let himself go, and a little insecurely, took your hair gently, seeing how grotesque and dirty his wet member wrapped in your saliva looked sliding into your mouth, and your hand playing with his testicles, but he still loved it and wondered why he had never experienced it before, why he never felt eager for sex before when it was the most incredible thing in the world, at least for him, right now, and with you.

Felix couldn't take that much, you were stimulating him so well that, with his body trembling and hot gasps, he cummed in your mouth. Leaving you more than happy to finally taste him, he still hadn't finished cumming completely, his trembling, agonizing tip releasing his semen, when you pulled him out of your mouth, just for the pure pleasure of his cum on your lips and face, staining your face a bit with little white drops. You looked him in the eyes, and wiped his cum from your face to then suck your finger, making him hard in moments again, his erection being slightly more painful this time.

You wanted to be touched too, your pussy was throbbing hard and you were so wet and messed up that you wouldn't be surprised if you suddenly started squirting, so you sat on Felix's lap, so unexpectedly, positioning yourself sideways and not pressing so hard on his cock. Felix saw your naked body with closeness, he couldn't believe how amazing you were making him feel right now. You spread your legs, showing him your soaking wet vulva.

“I-I'm so wet, touch me” you whimpered, taking his hand and placing it on your pussy.

Felix bit his lip hard and understood instantly, gently caressing your labia with his fingers and nimbly finding your clit.

“Mmm, just like that, you're doing so good, it feels good” you gasped.

“W-what was that little name you were calling me before?” whispered Felix in your ear, his thick voice making you twitch.

You smiled broadly, unable to believe what he would be referring to and for him to suddenly show a dirty side as well.

“Daddy” you sighed, you would love to call him that, for some reason you found it exciting, he was a little older to you, he was a man with his own apartment and a steady job, he was more mature than you who were still a college student, his pretty innocent face was something easy to fool you with, but he was still your soft and gentle daddy, caressing your pussy with such care.

Felix felt so good, his cock throbbed as he heard you encouraging him, your hand reached for his cock as you enjoyed his fingers gently caressing you.

“Mm, Daddy, fuck me with your fingers, look at my so wet cunt” you whimpered, trying to separate your entrance with one hand so he could see it.

More precum came out of his tip, his cock and your hand was already sticky from your previous activity, and he wondered how many times he had to cum today, how many more times he had to make a mess, Felix thought at this point he could be an easy sperm donor with the generous amount you make him spill, he was being pleasured like never before, he didn't regret for a second not getting carried away with your game, otherwise you wouldn't be like this with him now, on his lap while you masturbate him and him playing with your soft pussy.

Felix let out a ragged sigh and with his fingers he sought your entrance, gasping as he felt the softness and tightness of his fingers slide inside you.

“Ahhh fuck, daddy, yes, fuck my pussy please” you whimpered.

You shivered as you felt him, his thick fingers slipping in and out of you, while his other hand caressed your breast, leaving you so hungry and eager to have your whole pussy filled and busy. You kissed Felix, who was concentrating on giving you pleasure, as if it were a video game console and he had to press the right button to make you shudder, and he was succeeding. By this time you had already realized that he was a bit inexperienced, his movements were a bit clumsy, he was so needy that you felt his cock throbbing hard in your hand, cumming for the second time.

And you, you were so full of active sexual energy and wanted to fulfill your every fantasy with Felix and needed constant stimulation and pleasure, you bit your lip, you stirred a little to reach up to whisper in his ear, “Let me sit on your pretty face, daddy, please.”

Felix looked at you surprised while you looked at him expectantly, he knew what was coming, even in his lonely college nights he used to watch porn, thinking that horny girls willing to experience all positions and last long minutes in sex just stayed there… but apparently you came out of his reality, you were a dream, the only difference was that he wasn't strong enough to last long minutes without cumming, he did it so often he lost count, he just enjoyed what you subtly ordered him to do.

“Get comfortable daddy so I can sit on your face” you said again more lusciously.

Felix pulled his fingers away from you and watched you stand up as you gently pushed him off his shoulders.

“Relax your body for me, daddy, lay down a little.”

He followed your orders, putting his back and head on the lumpy cushion of his couch, and you expertly squatted down to direct your whole pussy into his mouth, Felix watched a few seconds of your swollen pussy until he felt it in his mouth, you both gasped, his cock twitched, and the next thing he knew is that he must please you. Oh his sweet angel, tasting so good. He stayed with his eyes open, he held his hands on your thighs and saw your naked body above him.

Felix licked, kissed, sucked hard every length of your folds, stimulating your clit with his tongue while all your wetness was rubbing in around the area of his mouth and on his chin. You gasped loudly, it felt so good. His upturned nose gently rubbing your mons venus with your pussy smeared in his mouth.

“Yesss, daddy, you're doing so well, you're such a good daddy, fuck” you whimpered, his soft moans into your pussy as he licked it sent exquisite vibrations, driving you over the edge, “P-put your tongue inside my daddy, please” you begged.

Felix once again sought your entrance, thrusting his tongue in, playing with your dilated, dripping hole, bringing you almost to orgasm.

“Fuck, daddy I'm gonna cum” you whimpered in a high pitched tone, and you cum shuddered in his mouth.

Felix, like a good little boy, sucked hard on every bit of your fluid, gulping it down with delight as he felt another orgasm, his abdomen contracted and his cock twitched on its own, so painful and pleasurable, he climaxed all over his marked abs.

You shuddering, got off his face and appreciated the mess of his pretty, swollen lips stained with you.

“I'm gonna fuck you now, daddy” you said again animated and happy, still not letting Felix catch his breath. You positioned yourself on top of him, rubbing your folds on his cock and realized he cum once again, you smiled smugly, “Fuck, daddy, did you cum again? Did you liked my pussy that much, huh?” you said innocently, biting your lip as you held onto his abs, starting to rub yourself on his cock.

Felix loved the softness with which you spoke vulgarities, so he, aroused, dared to say in something that came out of him in a more low tone:

“Fuck, yes, princess, I loved your pussy.”

You were so surprised, his voice almost vibrating your body that you couldn't hold back any longer. You took his cock and directed it to your entrance, letting yourself fall all the way down his length, making you both gasp.

“Mm daddy your cock fits perfectly on me. Do you like my cunt in your cock daddy?”

“Y-yes” Felix whimpered needily as he felt you rubbing all over your wet pussy on him, stimulating his balls.

“Is it tight?”

“Oh fuck yeah, very tight, angel.”

“I'm gonna fuck you daddy, gonna make you fill up my pussy.”

And you began to move, sliding all over his cock, feeling how it was built right for you, yet it felt so tight to your pussy, it drove you crazy. Felix hadn't fucked in years, he never made a big deal about it but now, he was in heaven itself, he could die in your arms and he wouldn't matter, he would leave very well satisfied.

“Oh, fuck, yesss, it feels so good” he groaned.

He held you by the waist, panting deeply between each thrust and movement you brought to his cock, it felt so good, the way your insides embraced his cock, echoing through his apartment with the brutal sounds of your wet pussy colliding with his member. Felix was so close again, the vein in his neck showing, feeling so guilty about cumming inside you, but the feel of your internal organ buried in his cock made him see stars, maybe now he's obsessed with you and the feel of your pussy in him.

You noticed him so close, his hands shaking now squeezed your breasts and you sped up your movements.

“Cum for me daddy, please” you asked him, while at the same time you felt so close too.

Felix squeezed your breasts hard, shouted an “Oh, god” in a rough voice and cum intensely in you, ten times more intense than all the previous times.

You bit your lip, still moving in him waiting for your orgasm until it took your whole body, combining with Felix's cum sliding down his length and into your entrance. You pulled out of him, and gasped at the grotesque act of your hole expelling both fluids.

Breathless and a mess, you let yourself fall back on Felix's heaving slender chest. He wiped his mouth a little, took your face in his hands and began to give you little kisses around your face making you laugh, Felix may have fallen in love with you a little.

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