#let me enjoy 5 more minutes of BE until i return to the horrors (politeness research in aviation contexts)

[tardis--dreams]

"Even when you're going to hell, you should fill your stomach first" may just be one of my favorite lines of this whole damn show

[leejeongz]

cravity reaction to you giving them the silent treatment

🔅thank you for reading my work and following! and than you for requesting! i wrote this like giving them the silent treatment, as you can tell, because i’m not sure what other context you would ignore them in🥺 i hope you don’t mind! and not all of them are serious hehe🔅

serim:

reason for the silent treatment: you were jealous when you saw him talking to the stylists and sitting real close to them

he tried his damned hardest to not give in to you. this lasted for quite a while this time actually, an hour maybe? then he started feeling empty. he hadn’t hugged you or bugged you for a whole hour, even you were getting concerned at this point. he came over to you while you were washing your bowl and pan from lunch, standing behind you for a few seconds before deciding to poke your cheek. you tried to ignore him at first, then you tried swatting his hand away.

“i’m not moving it until you talk to me!” he exclaimed. you knew the annoying smile he’d have on his face right now that you couldn’t resist so you chose not to look at him, instead you concentrated on putting the wet dishes on the drying rack. “i can do this all day”

he really wasn’t lying, you wouldn’t put that past him, so you just chose to give up, it was easier than having a clingy serim around you all day. (you get that anyway but what can u do?)

“you should eat” you said quietly. serim smiled at you in response and removed his finger.

“you’re right, maybe i will go grab something with the stylists” he joked, risking another hour of the silent treatment. he was so lucky that you could take a joke.

allen:

reason for the silent treatment: he forgot your 1 year anniversary (this got a lil deep for some reason, kinda angsty, just a warning)

he started by giving you as much attention as possible. usually you’d be loving the skinship and cuddles, but right now you didn’t want to even see his face. you swatted his hands away and stormed off to your room. he sat back on the sofa, eyes and mouth both wide. he’d never seen you like this before. his head soon fell into his hands, which rested on his knees. once the first tear fell, it was soon followed by dozens more. it made him even weaker knowing you were probably crying too. he didn’t know whether to come to you or not but he decided to stay put for a little longer. after a few minutes, he saw your feet across the carpet and lifted his head, apologising profusely as he did so. you sat beside him, and looked at him, which he reciprocated almost immediately. he grabbed your hands instinctively but not before wiping a tear from your right cheek.

“do you care?” you asked.

“of course i care. i care about you, about us, i care a lot.” he pleaded, tears starting to burn at his cheeks.

“okay” you said, licking a tear from lips and nestling into his side.

he wrapped his arm around you and sniffled some more before asking if there was any way he could make it up to you.

jungmo:

reason for the silent treatment: you failed an exam and you think it’s because he kept distracting you while revising

he couldn’t help himself, he just HAD to follow you around like a lost puppy. he tried his best to apologise, knowing it was the easiest thing to do even if he wasn’t guilty, but it just made you ignore him even more, not even giving him the advantage of reading your face. honestly, his incessant following was cute, but he could never know that.

“y/n please” he begged from behind you as you made your way to the bathroom. “don’t make me come in there too” he tried to make light of the situation.

you turned and stood against the closed bathroom door, now looking at him from across the hallway. you raised your eyebrow and he started to talk once again.

“i didn’t realise what i was doing, i just wanted to spend time with you, i will never do it again, if i do you can shout at me, i’m kidding please don’t do that ,i would cry, i know you wouldn’t ever-“ you stopped him with a kiss. you hated how he had you WHIPPED for him, but you wouldn’t really have it any other way.

“i won’t you idiot, although i may accidentally purposely back my chair into you, gently of course” you joked “now can i please go in here… alone?”

woobin:

reason for the silent treatment: he used your toothbrush

“you changed yours to the exact same colour as mine, it was going to happen on day anyway” he announced, rolling his eyes while walking to the cupboard to get himself a different toothbrush. “where are they?” he shouted to you.

you chose not to respond and that’s when he knew he was currently experiencing the dreaded silent treatment. normally he’d be quite thankful for some peace and quiet but the circumstances weren’t great so...

“oh brilliant, how mature of you” he slammed the door to the cupboard shut, still being careful not to damage it though. “you know it’s not going to get you anywhere” he once again rolled his eyes. “i’m going to my room, see you at dinner, sweetheart”. and that’s exactly when you saw him next. he was so stubborn sometimes, you had to give in else you’d never talk to him again.

“here” you tossed him a new toothbrush while he was close to the sink.

“this is still the same colour th-“

“ITS ROMANTIC WOOBIN” you shouted.

“from one extreme to another, clearly” he laughed, throwing you the toothbrush back. “now how about we be romantic in that restaurant down the street?”

wonjin:

reason for the silent treatment: he ate without you

“i swear i won’t do it again” he pleaded in his final words before giving up and slumping his way to his room, leaving you cooking your meal for one.

you wouldn’t normally be this mad about him eating without you, you didn’t even live together, it was just that today you’d planned to have dinner together but you were an hour late due to traffic. surely he could have waited an extra 60 minutes, right?

wonjin threw himself on the bed, sulking for 5 seconds then convincing himself he was in the right all along and acting like nothing was wrong. he pulled out his phone and started playing a game, one that he knew he would spend hours on if he started playing it. half way through the first round, something clicked in his brain. why was he sitting here neglecting you when he owes an apology? he composed himself and made his way back out to the kitchen, ready to start his begging for forgiveness.

“okay so sometimes... sometimes you can be unreasonable” great start, you thought, rolling your eyes “but on this occasion, i think your reaction is justified. take as long as you want, i’ll be standing right here” he said, mimicking a “rooting in place” action by twisting his feet on the laminate flooring.

minhee:

reason for the silent treatment: he accidentally recycled a piece of your homework

“how was i supposed to know you needed this stupid map?” he questioned. but you didn’t respond. instead you just went to his room and sulked, in silence. he followed and stood in the doorway, firing questions at you for the next 5 minutes before huffing and leaving you to sulk alone. he knew he was the mature one here, but he still felt guilty for what he did so 10 minutes later he came back to you and tried again, this time calmer and more willing to listen.

“i can help you do it again” he insisted “but i’m not that great at drawing maps” he admitted. you turned away from him. he probably thought you were just continuing the silent treatment but really, you were trying your hardest not to laugh.

“you know i just printed that out right? i didn’t draw that” you whispered, giving in.

“are you saying i just endured the silent treatment for a map that took seconds to print out? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” he shouted jokingly, sitting at his computer and bringing up an identical map. “here, print.” he grabbed it off the printer and realised yet another issue “you also used MY printer ink. i should have give myself the silent treatment for wasting ink like that.”

hyeongjun:

reason for the silent treatment: he killed you first in among us

hyeongjun thought it was a joke at first, it was just a game after all it's not that serious.

“you can still do your ghost tasks” he mimicked.

you did NOT find this funny. he made you look like a fool in front of your friends, surely your boyfriend isn’t supposed to kill you first, you thought. you pressed the home button on your phone, automatically leaving the game, and turned your phone back to portrait. you scrolled through your home screens for a while, looking like you were doing something important in hopes it would make hyeongjun jealous but he was too engrossed in the game. it wasn’t until you threw your phone on the bed and got up that he realised you’d left.

“you left the game? why? oh you’re gonna get snacks? can you get me those chocolate jazzle things you bought for us please?” he asked, still engrossed in the game.

you rolled your eyes and let out a very loud “ugh” which he didn’t even bat an eyelid at. you returned with the chocolates in your hand which got his attention, but instead of handing them to him, you ate them and looked like you were enjoying them.

“i’m SO sorry i killed you y/n” he rolled his eyes as you did earlier, but you pretended to not hear him, just as he did.

this went on until he, as the imposter, lost the game, and you couldn’t help but laugh in his face.

taeyoung:

reason for the silent treatment: he laughed at you for getting scared during a horror movie

you hit his chest and got up in a huff. how dare he laugh at you when you were genuinely scared?! the sound of his laugh was always nice, always except now, it just annoyed you. you went to the fridge to grab some of his snacks, the first time you did this without politely asking for permission. he never minded that you wanted food, he wished you’d just get them yourself, you didn’t have to ask, what was his was yours, so you took advantage of that but it really didn’t feel right.

“hey the movie hasn’t finished yet!” he shouted, turning over and seeing you scan his fridge. “there’s nothing in there, i’m the only snack in this place” he said, flipping back over. “oh and you, of course”. you narrowed your eyes and bobbed your head sarcastically behind him, as if you were mimicking what he said. you sat back down again empty handed, this time sitting on the single chair that was far from him.

“oh what’s wrong? you think you’re strong enough to sit alone? you don’t need me anymore?” he laughed once again. you just concentrated on the screen, your heart beating faster than ever before, hoping no scares were coming up.

“okay okay i’ll stop. now please come over here and cuddle me because i think he’s gonna do something again and i don’t want you to be scared on your own.”

you contemplated his preposition for a little, the tv making your decision for you when the music started getting louder and you felt the need for someone’s arms around you.

seongmin:

reason for the silent treatment: he spent the whole of your day off napping

“what’s for dinner?” he asked sleepily. his eyes opened to your figure, stood over him, your arms were folded and lips were sealed shut in a sort of angry pout. “what?” he questioned.

you yanked you duvet from him and threw it on the floor now giving you the perfect opportunity to grab your teddy that he’d slept with and leave. but that boy was gripping on to your teddy for dear life it seemed, he wasn’t letting go. “what are you doing? i can’t explain if you won’t tell me what’s wrong. and i’m not giving up lolly llama until you tell me”.

“just give me the llama seongmin” you broke your silence.

“is it because i slept all day?” when the words left his mouth, you stopped fighting for the teddy, you stopped leaning over him, you stopped trying to hide what had been getting to you all day. “because if it is i’m sorry, i woke up today with a really bad headache and i didn’t want to worry you.” he pointed to the tablets and headache strips on the side.

“is it-” you paused to look at him “is it better now?” you asked, knowing the best treatment for a headache was sleep.

“a lot better” he smiled in your direction “i am prepared to pull an all nighter with my favourite person now”

gifs aren’t mine

[127-mile]

Tales from the front desk: Ten.

Pairing: Artist!Ten x reader.

Genre: Ghost, haunted hotel | Fluff, angst.

Warnings: Non-explicit mentions of death, mention of loneliness. There is a scene where it looks like drugs are being used on the reader, but it is not drugs, just the hotel’s bad atmosphere. 

Plot: The Neo hotel opened its door in the nineties, and if at first it was seen as a nice and cheap place to stay, it changed pretty quickly. As intriguing as the hotel is, I do not advice you to ask the locals about it, because they will react in a way you do not want to witness. Fortunately enough, it is easy to know what happened in these walls, what happened in some of the rooms, thanks to a little bird with eyes everywhere.

Meet Ten, the artist whose death is as mysterious as it is famous, he likes to wander around the hotel in search of a new muse.

Word count: +4.8k.

A/N: This is inspired by the fifth season of American Horror Story and the real Cecil hotel. More parts with different members will be posted. I already have 5 chapters ready to be written. Also, this part will be linked with Johnny’s part. Spoiler on the tile: the mafia leader.

"I must warn you," the receptionist says as soon as he steps inside the elevator. "the third floor is known to be a bit hectic, so you might want to change room, which is totally fine." this is not the idea settings you were expecting when you wanted to rent a permanent room at the Neo hotel, but you had no other choice. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

"If you say so." he answers, and he cringes at the music playing in the background. He has a love-hate relationship with the way it echoes in the elevator, after so many years, it sounds just like fingernails on a blackboard. "After you." he says when the doors slide open, and you take a few steps forwards, and you wait, backpack hanging from your shoulders.

"This is the fourth door on the right." the receptionist carries the dufflebag and he stops in front of the right door. "I don't know if you have noticed, but the signals is really bad here, so I have to check if the landline is working in your room." he unlocks the door, and heads to the vintage looking phone.

The wallpaper is old, and it is peeling off in the corners, and from where you are standing at the door, you see a layer of dust on the small wooden desk and the dresser. This is probably not healthy to breathe so much dust, and mold, but this is the cheapest place you could find in such a short time.

"Alright, the phone is working," the man starts, turning on his heels to face you. He looks young, way too young to be working in this kind of hotel, when he could fit right in, in one of those fancy hotels. "do not hesitate to call me at the front desk is someone bothers you too much, I'll come right away."

"Do you think someone is going to bother me?" you ask, head tilted to the side and the man shrugs. "I do not know for sure, but the last occupants of this room had some problems with the neighbors. Nothing I could not handle, so do not worry about a thing." this is really not reassuring.

"I'll take my leave then, please enjoy your stay. The bar opens at 8pm, and the roomservice is available at any time of the day, or the night, just press the number 4 on the phone." you nod, and you push yourself away from the door to let the man steps into the common hallway. "Oh, by the way sir, can I ask you for a favor?" you ask suddenly, and the man nods.

"If someone comes in looking for me, could you please call me before sending them?" the man, Doyoung, as you can read on the badge he is wearing on his shirt narrows his eyes. "Are you trying to avoid someone? Are you in troubles?" this is not the conversation you want to have with a stranger, but this is also the only way you can be safe.

"Let's say there is a reason for me to be staying here, when I have a perfectly functional house." Doyoung hums, hands burried in the pockets of his pants. "I understand, and I will let you know. No one will come knock on your door without you being made aware of it, trust me."

"Thank you, sir." you answer, and he smiles politely before leaving. A few seconds later, you hear the creaky sound of the elevator's doors, but before you close the door, you hear him speak, and you wonder if he is talking to you.

"Could you stop following me, you know very well you are not allowed to go anywhere else than this very floor. You do not want me to call the man for the sixth floor to remind you of the rules, right?" you frown, who is he talking to in this patronizing voice? "Yes, that's what I thought. Stay away from me, and from the room 304."

You walk outside of the room when you hear his last words, but the hallway is empty, Doyoung is already inside the elevator and no one is here. Who was he talking to? Maybe to someone peeking from behind their room's door, you think.

You close the door, and do something you should never have done. You drop onto the bed, head falling onto the pillows which sends up a cloud of dust thick enough to make you cough. "Oh, fucking hell." you mumble, straightening up.

When you finally stop coughing, your lungs are burning in a very unpleasant way, and you need time to catch your breath.

After a minute or so, you lie down again, more delicately this time, and you grab your phone from the pocket of your jacket. Like Doyoung had say, there is no signal, and you can't find anything with a potential wifi password on the bedside table like in the other hotels you had the luck to stay in.

At least, you know you will not be bothered by calls, and threatening texts from the person you are running away from. This is a plus, but is getting sick because of the dust really worht the peace that it will bring you? You do not know, you need to weight the pros and cons before giving your final verdict.

After an hour, you realize that the television is not working, which means there is nothing to do in this place. Without internet, you can't scroll down social medials until you fall asleep, so you have to find something to do if you do not want to die from pure boredom.

You get up from the bed, and you open the room's door. You hear nothing but the gentle hum of the air con, so you decide to take the keys and lock behind you. Maybe you can visit the hotel before it gets dark, you do not really want to see thos creepy long hallways bathed in unnatural yellow light.

You wait in front of the elevator when you hear a noise. You can't pinpoint exactly what kind of noise it is, but it is eery. It is like a gargling sound, but muffled by something. This sound is soon followed by a loud thump against one of the many doors, but you do not have time to go and investigate as the elevator's door slide open in front of you.

Maybe it's for the best, you think.

If Doyoung said the neighbors are causing problems, you do not want to be part of it. You are here to hide, and calm down, not ot get into any sort of fights with strangers. You look at the buttons, wondering which floor you should go to, but your eyes stop on one particular button.

Roof.

You press it without a second thought, and you wait.

It seems like as you go up, the music only gets louder and louder, and by the time you are two floors before the roof, you have to put your hands over your ears to try and drown out the disturbing noise coming from the old sizzling speaker.

"This place is fucking hell on earth." you mutter as you finally step out of the elevator. You are not quite on the roof, but rather in front of a flight of stairs that lead to the actual roof. But now that you are here, in front of the stairs, you wonder if it was not a bad idea. Not because you are scared or anything, but because the roof is usually a part you can't access in an hotel. So what if it is locked?

"Fuck it." you have nothing to lose, so you climb the stairs, not daring to put your hand on the railing, you feel dirty enough by simply staying in your dusty room, you do not need more right now. There are more steps than what you would have thought, but it's fine.

And it is also worth it, because you see the chain and the padlock on the ground, and the door is left ajar, held open by what looks like a brick.

With the air con, you forgot how hot it is outside, how hard it is to breath in the stuffy air. But you stay on the roof, and you were not expecting anything, and yet, you are still disappointed in a way. There is nothing, absolutely nothing. Oh, yes, there a huge water barrels on the side, but that's about it.

You walk to the edge of the roof, and you watch as life goes on outside of the hotel. People are walking down the street, some look at the hotel in a curiosity you do not understand, others cross the road to avoid it like the plague. This is trange, but you do not question it, you are not from here, and you know nothing about the hotel, so this is not your place to comment.

"Sweetheart, please, do not add another body to this hotel, we are already crowded down there."

You turn around when you hear a man's voice, sweet like honey, and dripping with something you can't quite describe. "I was not planning on jumping." you answer, and he looks relieved. "May I join you, then?" you nod, it is not like you have other things to do, or somewhere else to be.

"So, what is a beautiful doll like you is doing in a place like the Neo hotel?" he asks, sitting down on the edge of the roof, so you take the opportunity to watch him. His side profile was definitely crafted by the gods, and his long black hair falls prettily on his face, covering his cat-like eyes.

"Enjoying summer?" he pats the space beside him, so you sit down, legs dangling in the air. "You must hate yourself quite a lot to spend your summer in this place. What happened, who hurt you?" it is a rhetorical question, you know it, but you still shrug. "I mean, you are here, so I guess I could return you the question."

"Touché." is all he answers, and you close your eyes. It feels nice to be here, even though you can't help but to think about the man next to you, a stranger who could potentially push you from the roof, straight to your death. "What did you mean when you talked about the body count of the hotel?" you suddenly ask.

"Do you know anything about the Neo hotel?" you shake your head, and he hums. "That's for the best then, do not worry that pretty little head of yours." you are intrigued, and you hate the fact that he is really not talking about it, that's mean, you think.

"I'm Ten, by the way."

You open your eyes, and you turn to face him, legs crossed. "Ten? Like the artist? Lee Ten?" he turns his head, eyes narrowed because of the sun, and the corners of his mouth curve into a smile. "You know him?"

"He was on the front page of every newspapers when he died, and everyone talked about it for a while." for some reason, he looks satisfied with your answer. "Did they find anything about the way he died?"

You watched a bunch of videos about the Ten case, mostly because it was weird when it happened, nothing could have predicted that the young and famous artist would suddenly die in such a mysterious way, and you were trying to avoid your homework at the time. "There are a few theories, but nothing was never actually proved."

"Theories? Fascinating! Tell me more, please?" you heave a sigh, this is not how you thought your first day would end up, but you are not mad about it, you guess it is better than to be locked inside your room.

"Some people said he died of an accidental overdose, some said he killed himself, unable to deal with his sudden success. I watched a video of this girl who said he probably died because of the products he used to paint, that he inhaled too much of the fumes."

"And what do you think?" he asks, head tilted to the side. He looks amused by the conversation, but you think nothing of it. "I don't really know. He was young, wealthy, and I heard that he liked the attention, he liked knowing that people talked about him, so he probably found a way to die whilst remaining in everyone's head, and mouth."

"He did like to be the center of the attention." Ten comments, more to himself than to you. "Do you remember where he died?" you look up at the sky, and you try to think about this detail. You heard it thousands of times, but for some reason, you can't think of the name of the place. You can't even put a face on the name.

"It was in an hotel, I think?" he nods his head with vigor, his smile turns into a smirk. "Does the Neo hotel rings any bell?" you open your eyes wide, and you stand up so quickly that you miss tripping over your own foot. "Oh, take it easy sweetheart."

"He died here, in this hotel!" you exclaim, as Ten stands up too. "He did. At least now I know you are not here to investigate his death, which is a shame honestly. It's been a while since anyone came."

You should have known sooner something was fishy about this place! The name of the hotel did make something click inside of you, but in your haste to get away from home, you did not think about it more. You just thought it was a name you saw online while Johnny was looking for a place to stay during some random trip.

"Wait, how to you know people don't come investigate anymore?" he shrugs, and he walks towards the door. "Let's just say that I've been here for quite a while, and I notice when things change around here." you follow him, making sure the door is still ajar for whoever decided to keep it open.

"Is this why you are here?" you ask. "And is this why you chose this name? Are you some sort of creepy fanboy? You know, trying to be where your fantasy lover took his last breath, to be closer to him than anybody ever did?"

Ten chuckles, pressing on the elevator button. "What if I am?" you stay quiet, and you step in the elevator, Ten doing the same. "Which floor?" you press on the third and he smiles softly. "I see we are on the same floor, that's interesting."

You suddenly wonder if he is part of the troublesome neighbors Doyoung told you about. "Can I ask you something?" you have no time to think about it, you just nod. "Would you pose for me?" you frown, crossing your arms over your chest. "What do you mean, pose?"

"I'm an artist, and I like to paint real people."

"You are really going all the way to be like the real Ten, uh?" the young man smile softly, but he does not answer. "But yes, I have nothing better to do, so paint me like one of your french girl." he laughs, and he leads you to his room's door, which is, the one where you heard the weird noises earlier.

"Are you alright?" he asks when he sees that you seem hesitant to take a step inside. "I- I, yes." you can't tell him what you heard, you do not want to make him angry, or uncomfortable and miss the opportunity to be a little more entertained until bedtime. "Come in!"

The room is bigger than yours, and on the walls, paintings are hung and a shiver rolls down your spine. Each painting has a different person on it, and it feels like they are watching you, they are scrutinize your every move. "What do you think? Pretty good, right?"

Yes, the paintings are incredible, and extremely realistic, but your pain is screaming at you to get the fuck out of Ten's room, and to not return, something is weighting down on your stomach when your eyes meet the ones of a man on the very first painting. "You are really talented, Ten."

Ten is beaming at the compliment, and he indicates a sofa on the back of the room, right in front of an easel. "Sit down, please. And be natural, there is nothing better than being natural." you nod, sitting down and ignoring the cloud of dust around you. He rummages through a drawer for his pain, brushes and a pencil to draw the sketch on the blank canvas.

"You are so beautiful, I could spend days looking at you." he says, not even taking his eyes off of his canvas. "You deserve to be forever on a canvas and admired by everyone." his voice is low, and you see in his face that he is focused on his task.

"How long have you been painting?" you ask, and you expect Ten to stay silent, but he hums. "My mother did not have time to take care of me, nor did she wanted it, so she used to give me paint, and old letters to keep me occupied while she was at work, or drinking with her friends. It was cheaper than a babysitter, so I started really young." not the ideal parenting, you think.

"Have you ever painted?" you try not to move, but it is hard when it feels like you are sinking deeper into the sofa. "I did, when I was in art class back in high school, but I was never good at it. I'm not an artistic person, I guess." Ten scoffs. "Art does not have to be good, or pretty to look at to be considered art. So of course you are an artist, no matter what you think. We all are artists in our own way."

This is a nice thought, and it could help a lot of people who are feeling discouraged. From the corner of your eye, you see a movement, but you do not say anything, you probably just saw a bug or something. But when it happens again, a shadow is looming over the wall, you jump off of the couch. "What the fuck was that?"

"What was what?" Ten asks, barely looking up from his canvas, he did not notice you getting up from the couch. "The shadow, I saw a shadow!" he laughs softly, putting his pencil down to stand up. "A shadow? This is only the two of us." he says, putting a hand on your cheek.

"Are you okay?" he tilts his head to the side, and you try to ignore how cold his hand is. "Why don't you lie down for a bit? You look ready to throw up." you feel dizzy, but you do not know if it's because of how hot it is in Ten's room, or because of his proximity.

He pushes you back down on the couch, and the way your back crushes against the back of the couch is enough to cut your breath short. "Close your eyes, my sweet little doll, you will feel batter later, I promise." he says, crouching down to face you. He slides his fingers on your face, and suddenly, you do not like his smile.

You want to say something, to get up and leave. You want to call Doyoung, to tell him everything, but you feel so so tired. Your eyelids are so heavy, you can barely keep eye contact with Ten. You do not want to fall asleep here, you are not comfortable, you hate this room.

"I want to go home." you say in a voice so low that Ten has to lean closer to hear it. "But this is home, sweetheart." you shake your head, no this is not home, home is where your husband is. "You said it yourself, you have a reason to be here, you had a reason to leave your house." he kisses your forehead gently. "This is your new home."

He stands up, and he opens his mouth again. "You will never have to run away ever again. You will be safe here, and never will you feel alone between these walls." Ten sits back down on his stool, and he looks at your like you are the eighth wonder of the world. "Sleep, sweetheart, everything will be better when you wake up."

You do not want it, but you close your eyes, and soon enough, you feel the arms of darkness embracing you tightly.

When you wake up, it is to a room bathed in sunlight and with a splitting headache.

You straighten up, trying to ignore the pain and how sore your body feels. You rub your eyes with the palm of your hands, and look around. You are in your bedroom, in the same clothes you came in and your phone is on the bedside table.

You remember falling asleep in Ten's room, and yet, you are here. What the fuck? Did you fall asleep yesterday, and dreamed of Ten and everything that happened after? You do not know, you are confused, but right now, you have better to do than to dwell on a potential dream.

You need some fucking aspirin.

You know you do not have any in yuor bag, so you stand up. Your vision becomes blurry, and your head is spinning, so you wait for a minute or so, and when you do not feel like you are going to pass out on the dirty carpet, you leave the room.

You try to be as quiet as possible, you do not want Ten to go out of his room, whether you actually met him or nit. Maybe he is not even real, you do not know shit right now.

The music in the elevator is too much, you should have taken the stairs, but you heave a sigh of relief when the doors slide open on the lobby.

Like the day before, it is empty, and Doyoung is standing behind the desk. He looks up when he hears the creak of the doors, and he smiles. "Good morning, how was your first night?" you stop in front of him. "Terrible. Awful."

His smile fades, and you feel bad for a second. "Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. Did the neighbors bother you? I can go and talk to them, if you want." you shake your head. "Do you have aspirin? I have the worst headache ever." you mumble, and he nods before disappearing in the room behind the front desk.

He comes back with a small bottle of water, and two aspirins that he hands you. "You are my savior." he chuckles, and he watches you chug half of the bottle with the pills. "So, care to tell me what made your night so bad?"

"I had a really weird dream with a guy called Ten." he frowns at the mention of the young artist, so you tilt your head to the side. "Do you know him?" you really want him to tell him that no, he has no recall of a man called Ten in the hotel, you really want to believe that all of this was a dream.

"I actually do. Would you do me a favor?" when you nod, eyes narrowed, he opens his mouth again. "Can you go to the door, and try to leave the hotel? I know this sounds crazy, but I really need you to do it, without asking questions, I'll tell your everything later, I promise."

You do not know why, but you trust Doyoung with his gummy smile and his kind eyes, so you walk toward the front door, and you push it open.

But instead of seeing the street, hearing the traffic noise, you find yourself in one of the hotel's rooms. Not any room. Ten's room.

Ten is sitting on his stool, and his face and hair are covered in paint. When he sees you, his smile brigtens his face in a way you did not know was possible. "Sweetheart! What are you doing here so early? Already missing me?"

How is that even possible? You were trying to leave the hotel, how can you now be in a room, in the third floor? What the fuck is happening? "Look at that! I'm almost done." Ten grabs your wrist, and he makes you turn around to the easel.

You see yourself on the canvas, and it looks sor eal, you think that if you try to touch your face, you'll actually feel it. It is incredible, it is like looking at yourself in a mirror, but it is nothing but paint. "What do you think?" Ten is eager to know if you like the painting he spent so many hours working on.

"This is truly amazing." Ten's smile gets even bigger, and his eyes lit up, and you realize he has not let go of your wrist. "I'm glad you think so. From now on, you will always be with me."

You take a step back, but when you do, he only tightens his grip on your wrist, and it starts to hurt. "The hotel is greedy, you know, so I had to keep a part of you with me. I can't let the hotel have you entierly."

What he says make no sense, but you can't find it in yourself to ask him what he means. "I told you, you wouldn't have to run away anymore, and that you would never be alone either. There are so many people stuck in this hotel, you will forget what loneliness feels like." he sounds so excited, but you can't even pretend to be.

"Are you happy now, Ten?" you turn around when you hear Doyoung's voice. He is standing in the doorway, arms crossed against his chest, and his face is nothing but pure anger. "What is the point of keeping them here, you know very well they will refuse to see you after that, and you will be back to feeling lonely."

Ten shrugs, putting his brush down. "I do not care, I still have a part of them with me, these paintings are special. They are everything I have, and I will never be lonely, no matter if they decide to hide or not."

Ten finally lets go of your wrist, so you do not waste a second to join Doyoung. The man takes your hand in his, and he gently presses it. "Do you want to know something, Ten?" he asks, and the young man nods. "The reason why your favorite refuse to see you after you paint their portrait is simple. They are not hiding from you. I keep them away from you."

Ten's eyes open wide, and fill with tears. "What do you mean?" Doyoung's eery smile is back, and you do not like it, but you do not leave his side. He exhudes something comfortable. "You paint to avoid loneliness. But you deserve to be lonely. So as long as you will keep them here, I will keep them away from you. Be careful next time, I might just burn all of your little paintings, you deserve to feel trapped."

"You can't do that!" Ten yells, a sob threatening to leave his trembling lips, but a tear is already rolling down his cheek. "They are mine! They decided to be my muses, they have to stay with me!" Doyoung laughs, throwing his head back. "This hotel is mine, and will always be mine, I do whatever I want. And what I want, is for you to be as miserable as possible. You need to be punished. Loneliness is the punishment I chose for you."

"Come on darling, we have a lot of things to talk about, and I will also find you a better room because it seems like you are going to stay a little longer than planned." he leaves the bedroom and closes the door behind him. But you can still hear Ten's loud cries. "Do not worry, you'll never have to see Ten ever again, or at least until he decides to act like a normal human being again."

[thecandywrites]

Jewel Of The North Part 10

Ahhhhh. Ok. So I had to stop and rewrite this three times and it did not go how I originally envisioned. IT TURNED OUT BETTER. Because my original idea of how this was gonna go, was a little lack luster by the time I fleshed it out and put it into the story. 

Then I took a step back and was deep cleaning my fridge and BOOM, how this NEEDED to go bloomed and when I wrote it, it worked out so much better than my original idea. And I hope you guys like it. 

Always, thank to SO MUCH to @monstersandmaw​ for sharing ice orcs with me. 

Enjoy!

Jewel Of The North 

Part 10

Meanwhile Noah was crying so hard he could barely see the road through his tears. 

“Gods damn you Zara!” Noah yelled as he threw his sunglasses at the passenger window before the sunglasses shattered from the impact and the glass of the window cracked a little. He had been hiding behind them this whole time and he was so angry and hurt he could barely see straight as he wiped his angry tears with his sleeves. 

“Why didn’t you fight?! Why didn’t you fight for me?! For Sakura?! I thought you loved us?! You always fight for what you care about! Do you not care about us at all?!” He yelled from inside the truck. 

“All the way home last night I was fantasizing about selling everything I own and packing Sakura up and following you home because home wasn’t home without you and the clans can keep their stupid land. We don’t need it, we don’t even want it if you can't enjoy it with us! But you don’t even want us! One push from Alorna and you collapsed, you folded and withdrew and you were out of the game, out of the fight. Both at the dinner and at the solstice. Why did you just take it? Why didn’t you fight back? I know you can do better! I know you can fight better and meaner than Alorna ever could and I have seen you talk your way out of more with less. You could have told everyone you read for about it and they all would have been on your side and all the people of the clans would have stood up for you. But you just rolled over like a bitch! You broke my heart, you broke Sakura’s heart! How could you do this to me? How could you do this to us?! Fuck you Zara! Never again! Never again will I be fooled by a pretty face and a weak heart!” Noah ranted as he drove back to the control tower office and barely had the truck parked before he did his best to get himself together. And the whole time, he fought not to just turn around and going back to the ship terminal and getting the answers to those questions. But he was too stubborn, and too wounded to do so and it was like fighting a bear- wrestling with his emotions and regaining his composure. 

“So what other loads do you have for me today?” Noah asked as he came into the office, regretting that he didn’t have another pair of sunglasses to hide his red, tear stained eyes behind.  

“Uh, you just got the payday of a lifetime, you don’t need any other loads, at least not today.” Nancy informed him. 

“What?” He asked. 

“It’s already scanned and deposited, although all the writing on the back kind of made it a little hard.” She said as she slid your check to him from across the countertop as he stared in disgust at it, he wanted to burn it. Just because you had big pockets, meant you could buy your way back into his good graces? Fuck that and fuck you and your stupid money. 

“What writing on the...oh.” He frowned deeply as he flipped it over and read it, his face changing from one of disgust, anger and resentment to one of dawning understanding as Nancy tugged on the sleeve of her fellow secretary Andrea and lowkey held out five fingers and counted down from 5...4...3....2...1…. 

“Oh... shit.” Noah breathed just before he got a call from his mom. 

“Yeah?” Noah answered. 

“Where are you?” Summer questioned. 

“I’m at the airstrip in Skag Way.” Noah answered. 

“Have you dropped Zara off at the ship yet?” She asked. 

“Yeah and I’m already back.” He answered.

“And you’re reconciled?” She prompted. 

“...no.” Noah regrettably admitted.

“You mean to tell me that the second and greatest love of your life is about to get on a cruise ship without you?! You’re going to be sending her all on her own on a cruise ship full of thousands of horney and half drunk vacationers who would do unspeakable horrors to her in an effort to bang the sadness out of her? She’ll get eaten alive! You can’t leave her with heartbreak in her heart. No matter how much you think you hate her right now, she doesn’t deserve that and she deserves better from you. Have you no heart? No courage? No sense? Did you give her a chance to explain herself at all or did you just assume that your own conclusion that you jumped to all on your own is right? Did you not even talk to her at all on the way there?” Summer pressed. 

“...no.” Noah answered, feeling the deepest and meanest shame and regret start to eat him alive as the very idea of any of that happening made him nauseated.  

“Noah, look at Nancy’s monitor and read the code of conduct for all priestesses of Aura and see all the very valid reasons she didn’t put up a fight with the council last night and get your head out of your ass, go back to your plane and get your overnight bag, because I know for a fact that you keep one in the plane and get back in a vehicle and drive like the wind back to that port and do whatever it takes to get on that ship. It can not leave without you and do everything you can to search that ship for her and make this right between you like your life depends on it because it does. Your life and your happiness depends on it. Because Sakura’s sure as hell does and don’t do Sakura the dishonor and the disservice of leaving things broken like this, she deserves better too. But otherwise don’t worry about Sakura, I got her and she’s staying with me and with Isla while you’re gone and don’t come back home until you and Zara are reconciled.” Summer ordered him. 

“I think it’s this one that your mom is talking about.” Nancy cut in as she pointed to the bullet point on the code of conduct that simply read. ‘Priestesses of Aura will maintain a calm and peaceful demeanor while wearing official priestess attire and will not engage in any public fighting and shall remain graceful in all things.’ and another further down that said ‘If a priestess is traveling to a local event, she will refrain from engaging in local politics as a guest of that event’ and Noah felt like an idiot. Why hadn’t he given you a chance toy explain that to him? Oh he was a stupid bastard, he hadn’t even considered any of that. He misunderstood your behavior as you as a person but not you as a priestess.  

“I gotta go.” Noah told his mom. 

“Can I keep the check?” Noah asked Nancy. 

“Absolutely, it’s just a love note at this point, besides, here’s an advance on the check itself because we’re pretty sure it’ll clear.” Nancy smiled victoriously as she slid him five grand. 

“Go get her tiger.” Andrea, urged him. 

“I’ll have Tim drive you so that the truck isn’t marooned there.” Nancy added. 

“Thank you.” Noah thanked her as he took the money and the check and slipped them into his pocket and left the office and ran to his plane to taxi it to the hanger while Tim drove the truck over to the hanger too. 

Noah grabbed his overnight bag and other essentials and quickly got into the truck as Tim floored it to the port and he completely ignored everyone as he ran into the ship terminal.

“Zara! Zara Kingsley!” He yelled desperately at the top of his lungs.

“Zarasashasabine Zahnochka Volchitsa Kingsley!” He hollered again as everyone stopped what they were doing and staring at him like he had gone mad. 

“Can I help you?” A security agent asked him. 

“Yeah, I need to know if a passenger has boarded, I’m her pilot and she forgot something on my plane.” Noah answered. 

“Ok, well lets get to registration and see.” The security guard offered as he pulled Noah to the check in desk. 

“How can I help you?” Maggie, the clerk asked. 

“Hey, I’m a pilot and my fare left something on my plane and I need to return it to her.” Noah repeated. 

“Which Agency?” She asked. 

“What?” Noah asked. 

“What Agency do you fly with?” She asked. 

“Oh, no, I’m a private pilot, Noatak Kintuk.” He answered. 

“But the passenger’s name is Zara Kingsley? Or rather her full legal name is Zarasahsasabine Kingsley.” He told her. 

“Well let me see if she’s boarded yet.” She offered as she looked it up on the computer. 

“Ok, well she has already boarded, and we can try paging her or if there’s other appointments you need to keep, we can simply give it to her for you.” She offered. 

“Oh, no thanks, it needs to be given in person.” He gently countered. 

“I can assure you that whatever it is, we will keep it secured until she picks it up.” She reassured him. 

“I’m sure that’s the case. But uh, I really need to see her face to face.” Noah insisted. 

“Can you just tell me which cabin she is in and I could deliver it to her myself?” Noah asked. 

“I’m afraid not, that information is protected by our privacy policy and the only ones allowed past the gate are passengers and staff,” Maggie shook her head no and Noah’s shoulders sagged just a little. 

“Ok, is there, by any chance, any available cabins left for this cruise?” He asked. 

“Sir, this cruise was already pretty full when we left port and we’ve had a lot of last minute passengers and we’re all full except for our elite suites and there’s only two left.” She tried to gently break it to him. 

“How much are they?” He asked. 

“Well the cheapest of the two, is the garden suite and it’s 2700 or there’s the king’s suite, and it’s 4 thousand.” She informed him. 

“I’ll take the garden suite then.” Noah decided as he pulled out the advance he had gotten from Nancy from his pocket and started counting it out. 

“Ok, can I interest you in any drink packages…” She began her spiel. 

“I’ll take it all, just get me on that boat.” Noah cut her off as respectfully as he could despite the rush he felt in his being and panic whirling in his chest.  

“Will do.” She nodded as she continued to click and type in her computer before she got his ID and payment before she got him squared away and after forfeiting all of his weapons from his overnight bag because his overnight bag was equipped with all the items needed for being stranded in the Frozen Tundra overnight or even a few days, he finally got through security and very, very briskly walked through to get on the ship and throw the remainder of his belongings in his room before he went hunting for you. 

Meanwhile you were in your own suite, on your balcony because you had gotten a free upgrade to an elite room yourself and crying into a bucket of booze from the comfort of your own private hot tub on the spacious balcony. You had literally just dropped your stuff on, gone to the closest bar and gotten a bucket drink that was supposed to be big enough for four and you paid the bartender a hundred dollars to make it wicked strong and went back to your room, slipped into a bikini and slipped into your hot tub. 

You felt used, abandoned and devastated and regretting ever coming up here to the Frozen Tundra, even as beautiful as it was. Why would the gods do all the work of bringing you Noah only for him to break your heart like this? If he had only given you a chance to explain yourself, all of this might have been completely different. But to have him react so strongly and ruthlessly, made you wonder if you actually dodged a bullet. If this was a preview of things to come...your confidence in him and in the relationship began to wane and you feel like this falter happened at the worst possible time, at the most pivotal moment. 

You wondered if he would ever see your checks. Ever see the notes on them. Ever even reconcile with you? Or if his pride would forbid it?

But the problem was, was that you were outside in your hot tub and didn’t hear your room phone ring because the balcony sliding glass doors were slid shut and your phone was face down on the bed, charging. Both were out of sight and out of hearing range. 

“She’s not picking up.” The receptionist at the customer help desk informed Noah as he was texting your phone, having already tried calling it but sadly could only get your voicemail. But at least it rang several times, instead of going straight to voicemail. That meant that you weren’t actively holding your phone and rejecting his calls. 

“Can you page her again please?” He asked. 

“I can try.” She said as she paged you again over the intercom. But your room was too far away from all the public areas to hear it.

“Has her key card been used anywhere?” He asked. 

“Yes, but only at the poolside bar and her room before and after the bar. So if she’s anywhere else in the ship, she either isn’t buying anything or she’s with someone else who’s using the their key card.” She answered as Summer’s words of warning swam in his head and his imagination tortured him of others trying to charm their way into your pants and especially your heart had him feeling so anxious and sick, he was ready to throw up right there at the customer service desk. 

Meanwhile-

Alorna and Doug were enjoying champagne on their own balcony of the same cruise ship, but their room was on the other side of the ship and much lower down. 

“This was such a great idea.” Alorna praised in a giggle. 

“It sure was.” Doug grinned proudly. 

Right after they had met with the council. Alorna had left her kids with John’s parents for a week so she could ‘get away with the girls’. When in reality, she and Doug decided to get away from the shit-show they caused in style. Doug had gotten them a veranda room and were enjoying a spontaneous vacation that turned into an affair once they came aboard the ship. 

John had come home to an empty house and a note, telling him that his wife was going away with the girls on a trip and that his kids were at his moms and when he got an alert to his phone saying that his credit card had reached its limit from a casino charge on a cruise line that John knew she had gone on a cruise and had apparently been gambling. 

But when he had gone to town to go shopping the next day, he ran into her friends and when he mentioned that he thought they would have been on the cruise with Alorna they revealed they knew nothing about it. And through contacting all of Alorna’s female friends and checked her social media feeds, which were surprisingly very quiet- John realized she had left him to go on a cruise, apparently all by herself because no one else seemed to go with her but he doubted she would keep celibate while on that cruise because she had had a habit of maxing out all hid credit cards and having affairs whenever she was really, truly pissed at him. To the point he didn’t quite know if his kids were actually his kids or not. But he hadn’t wanted to divorce her for the sake of their kids because even if they weren’t biologically his. They were still his kids in his heart. 

But with what went down at the summer solstice, John suddenly realized why she had left and knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Alorna had something to do with it and this was the last straw. All that law was going to do is push you and all your millions and Noah and Sakura and all the opportunities to get into your good graces through them- away. The next day he had gotten in touch with a divorce attorney and canceled all his credit cards and even reported the ones that she wasn’t on- stolen and had gone to the bank to take her off his checking account and had tracked down which cruise ship had that casino and it’s current location and had told his in-laws and his own family exactly where she had gone and was currently in the process of packing up everything that was hers in his house because she was no longer going to be living there when she got back and hoped that she had won some money at that casino because he wasn’t going to give her another dime. She was officially cut off and he had even called and left a voicemail telling her as much. But she would not answer his calls or his texts. 

Meanwhile Doug’s ex-wife, Sarah- realized his child support payment was late and had tried hounding him for it. But couldn’t get ahold of him and even his own boys couldn’t get ahold of him and when Sarah went looking for him, it was like he dropped off the face of the planet. And when Doug didn’t show up at the solstice celebration to enjoy it with his sons, she knew something was up but couldn’t figure out what. But when the announcement had happened, she also felt sure that Doug had something to do with it and couldn't wait for him to reappear because she was going to beat his ass into the dirt.  

Meanwhile back on the cruise ship, Noah went to the closest bar that had a view of the customer service desk and sat on a bar stool and called and talked with Sakura and apologized to her profusely for what he had done that morning and patched things up with her while he waited. And once he got off the phone with Sakura, he got a drink at the bar and waited, and waited, and waited some more- for hours and the whole time he used a pad of paper to write down all the things he wanted to tell you and wrote down his apology in between looking for any signs of you and even after all that time there was still no sign of you, he had the bar get him lunch so he wouldn’t have to move. He was adamant he was not going to move until you came. 

But by dinner time, he caved and he went and got dinner at one of the restaurants on the ship and stopped by the poolside bar where you had gotten that drink and unfortunately, the bar staff had changed over the course of the day so none of them had seen you at all before he went to the spa to see if you had been there and they had told him that you had not and he had came back to the customer help desk only to find that you had not answered any calls or texts or anything. 

Meanwhile, after a few hours in the hot tub and effectively turned into a prune, you pulled yourself from the hot tub and wrapped yourself up like a burrito in towels and a blanket on the deck chair and had fallen asleep and had slept most of the day away to try to recover. When you woke up, it was late and you had gone inside and ordered room service for a very late dinner because you didn’t want to leave the sanctum of your suite and it wasn’t until Noah felt incredibly exhausted and needed sleep that he finally went back to his own room to get some sleep, only to find you putting your now empty food tray out into the hallway, only a few rooms down from his own. 

“Zara?” He called, hoping he didn’t see a mirage.

Hearing your name, you lifted and turned your head only to see Noah standing there, staring at you in hope that bordered on disbelief. 

“Noah?” You asked as you slowly stood up. 

“Oh thank the gods I found you. I’ve been looking for you all day!” He exclaimed as you came closer before you hid your mostly naked body behind the door and stared at him wearily as you tied your bathrobe around you tightly behind the door. 

“What are you doing here?” You demanded angrily. 

“I came to apologize and beg for forgiveness. Look, I’m sorry I was an asshole earlier and I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions about last night and deeply regret I ever told Sakura not to call you Mama, I never should have involved her at all and I’m so sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain yourself or anything and that was the worst move I could have made and I’m so sorry I hurt you. I should have asked you why you didn’t fight the council last night and I know now, after doing some digging that as a priestess of Aura that there’s a code you need to live by while in the regalia and I completely mistook your flawless and impeccable grace in concession as you personally giving up which is the worst mistake I could have made and I didn’t take the priestess thing into account at all. I’m so sorry. And I have since called Sakura and apologized profusely to her. And I will never forgive myself if I don’t at least try to make amends, because besides Sakura, you are the greatest thing in my life and I was so stupid for trying to walk away from you and assuming that because you bowed out gracefully that you were bowing out all together and that was very wrong of me and I’m so sorry and I swear I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you.” Noah apologized profusely as he came closer so he didn’t have to yell his apology down the hallway. 

“But if you could completely tear down everything we built together so quickly, in just one night- how do I know you won’t repeat this in the future? From now on every fight we have Sakura and I will both think that you’ll just up and leave and rip us apart right after? How can I trust you with my heart when you’ll just fly away at the first bump in the road? Sakura has no choice but to endure that because she’s your daughter but I and especially my children deserve better than that. They need a rock to rely on and depend on and they need so much more stability. And they need patience and mildness and they need to know that no matter what happens and whatever leaps they decide to make, that they’ll be caught. And after last night, I’m not sure you’re what they need, or even anything they would want, regardless of whatever I feel because they come first for me. They’ve been through enough. I won’t subject them to any more turmoil, especially on my behalf.” You vowed and Noah was on his knees in front of the door. 

“I know. You’re absolutely right. You deserve better and you should get better and the last thing I want is to hurt you any more than I already have and I never want to hurt your kids or my own. It was wrong and selfish of me and I can not apologize enough for it. I was so angry at Alorna and the council and I took it out on you and Sakura and that was absolutely unacceptable. I had every intention of trying to talk to you last night and I’m sorry I was so weak to fall asleep on you and I would rather lose every wink of sleep from now on if it means we can talk and work things out. When I woke up in the middle of the night last night and found the bedroom dark and you all the way on the other side of the bed turned away from me, I assumed you were withdrawing from me because you had given up on me and that hurt worse than any other wound I’ve ever sustained and I didn’t want to push it and plead and beg for you to reconsider because my pride had already taken the beating of it’s life at the announcement and I was at my breaking point and I didn’t think about, I just reacted. And I should have waited and tried to give you a chance to talk and I realize you were hurting too and I should have tried to heal your own wounds instead of adding my own to your already heavy heart. And it wasn’t fair because your hands were tied and I didn’t see it and I should have. And I’m sorry, I’m just so sorry for all of it. The clans can keep their stupid land because Sakura and I are in agreement that home isn’t home without you in it and they can keep the stupid land, you and your love are worth more than any property anywhere in the world. I know you think her inheritance is precious and I agree with you but not more precious than you. Land is just land. But you and your love are priceless and a treasure we can’t afford to lose. Just tell me what I can do to make it right. Please.” Noah begged as tears fell from his eyes and down his cheeks as he clasped his hands together like he was praying. And as much as you wanted to swing the door open and accept him and his apology with open arms, you were too weary of the pain right now. 

“For starters you can go to bed Noah, it’s been a long, hard day for both of us. Let me sleep on it ok? What room are you in?” You asked. 

“1207.” Noah answered. 

“Well, obviously you found mine. I have an interview with the spa in the morning. So I need to get some sleep. But I can meet for breakfast after.” You proposed. 

“That’s fair.” Noah agreed as he nodded and slowly found his feet. 

“Good night Noah.” You told him before you shut the door and locked it before you slid down the door as you sat on the floor and contemplated what he had said. This morning or even this afternoon you would have taken his apology readily and accepted him back into your arms but the more time went on, the more embittered you felt and you felt the door push back slightly as you both felt and heard- Noah slide his broad back down the other side of it and you couldn’t help but smile through your tears to feel that he was sitting on the other side of it and wasn’t leaving, at least any time soon before your room phone rang. 

Intrigued- you got up and went over to it and picked it up. 

“Hello?” You answered. 

“Hi, this is Emanuel with customer service. We just had a shift change and I got briefed by the day crew, your pilot while in the Arctic Tundra became a last minute guest just so he could return something you left with him. Once he came aboard this morning, he stayed with customer service all day, asking them to call your room every hour to try to contact you and we’ve been paging you all day throughout the ship. He only left once to get dinner and even then he only left the desk about half an hour ago to return to his own room. He is insistent that you know that he’s staying in room 1207.” Emanuel informed you and you almost felt foolish for not staying in that terminal longer and had waited for him to come back, he wouldn’t have had to get a room, he could have roomed with you for free. 

“He just found me and returned it to me. Thank you so much for all your help. Sorry I was on my balcony the whole time, taking a nap most of the day.” You explained. 

“Well, we are happy you’re ok and have what belongs to you. Enjoy your voyage Ms. Kingsley.” Emanuel wished you. 

“Thank you, good night.” You bid him before you hung up and even though your vindictive side told you to make Noah suffer till morning. Your heart cried out and begged for you to get him in your room so you could reconcile...all night long. 

Your heart won.

You went back to your door and no sooner had you unlocked the door before you heard Noah shuffle to get up and by the time you opened the door Noah was in the process of finding his feet. 

“You spent all day with customer service?” You posed as you leaned against the door frame. 

“Yup. All day.” Noah nodded in confirmation. 

“So what did I forget?” You asked. 

“My heart. I forgot to give it to you fully before you left.” Noah answered which made you snicker a laugh which made him crack a grin. 

“That has to be the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard.” You appraised. 

“I’m a cheesy corny guy.” Noah shrugged his shoulders. 

“That you are.” You nodded. 

“Have you moved into your room?” You asked him. 

“I literally just through my overnight bag into it, that’s it, I haven’t even unpacked.” Noah professed. 

“So, if I were to take a leap of faith and invite you to stay in my room with me, would you catch me by staying with me?” You asked. 

“Absolutely. I’ll be right back.” He readily agreed before he practically ran down the hallway and got into his room a few rooms down and got his bag and came right back to yours and all he did was drop his bag down on the floor before he was hugging and holding you and crying even more tears, this time of relief and happiness that he had a chance to prove himself to you. 

“Thank you Baby, thank you, thank you, thank you for a chance to make this right.” He thanked you as you clung together and you couldn’t attach your mouth to his fast enough. You were desperate for the taste of his mouth in yours and the second you found your prize, you were suddenly being lifted up and carried as your legs wrapped around his waist and Noah peeked to see where the bed was and once his knees found it, he very carefully lowered you down on the bed and eased onto you as you kissed each other desperately and the flurry of hands to get undressed and under the covers was what you both needed as badly as the air in your lungs and finally being rejoined was like coming back to life. 

And it was the best makeup sex of your lives.

[prorevenge]

Oh SO You Want To Kick Me Out Of My New Job? Then Enjoy Being Unemployed, Sued, And Blacklisted!

Warning: This is a long story!

Of course, I inquired why Asswipe isn't in the meeting while I'm being interviewed. The answer I got from RH was along the lines of: "well, technically Asswipe isn't the IT manager anymore, and our arrangement with him is that he will stay as the interim IT head until his contract has ended and not renewed." Basically, the "employment" of Asswipe has already ended sometime in the past, and that he is more or less just a consultant at this point. Asswipe is also almost always "working from home" so he would be unavailable for meetings. RH added that they are hiring me to eventually replace Asswipe when I learned enough of the business and the systems that the IT department is managing. I found this kind of odd but I was like "whatever" and never gave it much thought.

So eventually, I resigned from my (then) current employer despite them throwing me a very attractive counter offer (very bad move on my part) and started my new role at company X after a couple of months.

Day 1. The first day was okay. There were around 5 new hires aside from me, and we were all from different departments. We were taken by our recruiter (RC) to a nice meeting place outside the office to attend the usual onboarding session for new employees. I went home with a smile that day, looking forward to meet my new team when tomorrow comes. I felt that everything would be perfect from then on. Oh boy was I wrong...

Day 2. I came in an hour early so I opted to sit on the couch outside of the HR office while waiting for RC to arrive. Good thing one of the new hires was early as well, so I had somebody to chat with. After about thirty minutes, RC finally came in. She greeted and escorted us to a meeting room where we filled out some paperwork. I was seated on the side of the room where I have a full view of the lobby through a glass window. A few minutes went by when I noticed a man passing by the lobby. He has neck-long hair, wore huge eyeglasses, and was a bit on the chubby side. He's dressed quite decently though. RC whispered to me: "/u/padodo123, that is Asswipe, your manager". I felt a bit nervous as this will be the first time I am meeting him. RC stepped out of the office and had a chat with Asswipe, probably informing him of my presence. RC returned and told me that Asswipe cannot meet me right now because he is engaged with something important. I replied with: "oh, okay" and continued on with the papers.

That morning, RC gave us (the new hires) a tour of the facility, jumping from office to office, and showed us to everyone. Along the way, we met NL, who greeted me and the rest of the newbies with her sweet motherly voice. She's a bit in a hurry for a meeting but promised to have a chat with me soonest. We continued on with the tour. The rest of the staff were generally pleasant, and the atmosphere is friendly and light, at least, until we reached the IT department's office. The moment the door opened, I felt heavy air rushing through me, and the environment was somewhat tense. RC introduced us one by one, and then told the IT guys that I am their new assistant IT manager. I greeted them with a smile and expressed my excitement to be working with them finally. Nobody responded, though I saw a few forced smiles here and there. RC pointed me to the direction of Asswipe and introduced us formally. We were on the door, and Asswipe is sitting on his table which is situated at the other end of the room. Asswipe had this smug look on his face and without saying a word, nodded at me, then continued on with what he was doing on his computer. I felt quite disappointed by his behavior, acting like that being a manager and all, but I thought maybe he's just having a rough day. We left after a few minutes and carried on with the tour. Before the day ended, I got my laptop and system access from the system admin (this guy is silent, but generally okay) before clocking out.

Day 3. I headed straight to the IT department for my "first working day". Nobody except the girl sitting on a desk in the front row was present... maybe I'm just too early. She recognized me and told me that Asswipe wanted her to show me the back area (where they keep the supplies, parts, and do repairs). So we went to the area, and I was offered a desk - it is all messy with wires, computer parts and who-knows-what sitting on there. I settled in and opened my computer to test my email, access and whatnot. There were three technicians in the room that time. They were friendly and we had some nice conversation. I also had a Skype call with RH and he walked me through the entire IT organization. I inquired about Asswipe and he told me that he already sent him an email, and that I can talk to the guy tomorrow. The day ended with me staying at the back area, with Asswipe nowhere in sight.

Day 4. I again arrived early and with nowhere else to go, sat on my "desk". No emails coming in of course, since I haven't been doing any work yet. Eventually, I heared from the other side of door that Asswipe has arrived. I waited for a few minutes so he can settle down, then I went to the front area and walked to his desk. I gave my usual greetings and pleasantries, but what I really wanted was to talk with him about my role and tasks as his new assistant IT manager. He dismissed me and told me he will just send me a mail as he is doing something important. I didn't like this. I am a generally nice guy but I don't mix well with people who wastes my time and disrespects me. I tried hard not to make a fuzz out of it, agreed, and went back to my desk, waiting for his email that never came. That night, I was already having second thoughts about my decision of joining this company.

Day 5. No emails from Asswipe, though I got a lunch out invite from NL, which I accepted. I pinged RM. He then arranged a meeting for the three of us. After a while I was told that Asswipe declined the invitation but suggested another time. RH is unavailable for the suggested schedule but I told him that me and Asswipe can push through anyway. Come afternoon, I was sitting on one chair in front of Asswipe's desk, and we started to talk. However, instead of discussing about my tasks, responsibilities, and his expectations, he pulled out a copy of my resume and started "interviewing" me. I was puzzled. I politely told him that I am already hired and there is no longer a need for an interview. His face turned from grumpy to sour, and then began questioning my qualifications. He nagged about how I am unfit for the role and why I was hired without him approving it. His voice went to loud to really loud to shouting. This went on and on until I had enough. Needless to say, I engaged in a shouting contest with him, to the horror of everybody watching. "I don't like you, go back to where you came from" he said. I replied with "Don't worry, I don't like you too" and stormed out of the room. To be honest if we are not inside the office, he probably already met my fist and the ground.

I went to the HR office and looked for the employee relations officer (ER). Asswipe followed me but stayed at the door, giving me sharp glances that can slice potatoes. ER met me and I told him what happened. He invited me to a room along with the HR manager. We discussed the whole ordeal and I told them how disappointed I was. I almost resigned that instant but they asked me to calm down and reconsider, and that they would do something about it. Day ended with me leaving work early. I forgot to bring my laptop home though because, you know.

Day 6. I was hesistant to report to the office due to what happend the week prior, but because I was able to relax at the beach with the chicks during the weekend *devil face*, I got my composure back. I am also looking forward to the "action" ER told me that he would do.

When I arrived at the office, NL was there waiting for me. She inquired about what happened and how am I doing. She invited me upstairs to their department and ushered me to a nice looking desk. She said that I will temporarily be staying there until we resolve the conflict. I already met the people there and they are all nice. They told me about what they heared and was actually not surprised of how Asswipe acted. I learned from them that Asswipe is actually known to be a prick and a real nuisance to everyone. He acts as if he's the owner and I'm the only person who stood up to him. You see, before company X was acquired by it's now parent company, it was a family business. Being the only IT guy that time, Asswipe was able to introduce innovations to the company with the help of technology. He also only hired entry level people and never taught them too much, maybe so that he can have an advantage over the company (security of tenure). He threatened to "leave" the company on several occassions, of which each time the owner tried to win him back by addressing his demands (doubling his salary). Poor lady. Asswipe bacame the highest paid employee by then. When the acquisition was completed though, his antics no longer worked, and when he tried to resign one last time, it was accepted. However since he is the only person capable of running the IT services, company X cannot get rid of him right away. They then settled with the contract that I have mentioned earlier. How I wished I have learned about this before signing the job offer :(

As expected, Asswipe didn't report that day. My laptop is also nowhere to be found, and I wondered why lol. Meanwhile, there was a commotion going on around the facility. Apparently, the system that everybody uses just refused to work out of the blue, causing transactions to fail. I also wondered why lol. Luckily, we were able to put up an interim solution so that production can still continue, while we are investigating the root cause of the problem. Unfortunately, we were locked out of the server and had no way of accessing it or the system logs. (Only Asswipe knows the password). Somebody tried to contact him to no avail. We ended up phoning the server support and asked for assistance.

That evening, the support guys came and worked on our server. We went home (except the night shift technicians) and were promised a report early morning.

Day 7. I was issued a new laptop since the one I used last week went "missing". I read the report from the server guys and was "shocked" to find out that the downtime was actually caused by somebody deleting several files and records, and stopped scheduled jobs from running. Of course we already have a clue who is behind this but we have no evidence to back it up since all logs were wiped out and the person was able to hide his tracks. Or so he thought. Well, the mistake is that even though transaction logs can be removed, connecting to the VPN to access the server will create a separate record that would show the IP address of the person making the connection. The IP address just happened to be the one Asswipe is always using, since he has an office "extension" at home, where the internet is paid for by the company. The time of the VPN session "incidentally" aligns with the time the issue was first reported. Hmmmm... What's more is that the username that was used to log in on the network was Asswipe's. Not very bright huh. Both GM and RH were informed, and police was contacted as well.

Day 8. I was told that some talks happened which ended with us taking back posession of Asswipe's laptop. The laptop was then sent to another facility for investigation. By this time, the system is back and running, though a lot of transactions were needed to be redone. GM apparently called Asswipe, told him of the findings, and threatened to sue him if he will not respond to the company's demands, the demands being that: 1) He return his laptop, company issued phone, and any other company-related items in his posession; and 2) Perform training for the IT staff on how to operate the systems he previously exclusively handled and provide thorough documentation. He was not allowed to come anywhere near the facility or any branches of the company though, so these training sessions need to be done somewhere else. Asswipe complied.

------

The training sessions lasted for 4 weeks, with them meeting twice a week. For every session, a guard and the company lawyer was always present. After everything was settled, Asswipe was set free. Though, he is forever banned from being rehired in company X and all companies under it's parent organization. It all went well for me and company X from then on, but this is not yet the ending.

------

A few weeks have passed. Me and a colleague were doing some inventory and basic auditing when we stumbled upon a few anomalies. There were purchases made in the past that have no official receipts to them, and all we found were petty cash vouchers that you can buy at all bookstores. The purchases constitute of processors, motherboards, power supplies, and RAM sticks. What's more intriguing is that the prices were blown up, almost double than the usual prices in the market. We dug up for more info and found records for all these purchases. It turns out that the company has been "in business" with whoever the seller is for years already. There were remarks on these questionable items saying that they were "bought from an onlne seller" and that "Asswipe met them somewhere to do the transactions". There's a company name and website listed for the seller but no contact number. We tried to open the website but the page was not found. I tried to do a whois domain lookup - and whaaa laaa.... it was actually owned by somebody with a very fictitious name. I was hoping to see Asswipe's name here but oh well. However, there is an email address associated with the domain, and guess who's personal email it was.....

We documented our findings and reported it to GM and RH. Last I heard, he was being sued by the company, but this time it is for real. Also, the laptop previously issued to him was sent back to us. The forensics team was able to squeeze out lots of evidence against him from the said equipment. Bonus: I found an email sent from his account which dates all the way back on Day 5. Asswipe was apparently blackmailing GM, that he will resign immediately and he will only retract his resignation if "the new guy" was removed. Needless to say, this didn't worked. Adding salt to the would, Asswipe was also blacklisted on several IT groups and organizations. Goodluck to him finding a new job :)

(source) story by (/u/padodo123)

[jtsodergren]

The Best of 2019

2019, what an exceptional year for movies! A great way to close out the shittiest decade! Here are the 50 best films I saw this year... click on the title to go to the IMDB page, and I’ll try to post a link to where you can see many of them. Also for the first time this year, I’m including MOM WARNINGS! My mom reads this list and sometimes actually watches these movies... so to save her some grief, sadness, or general concern for my psyche, there will be a NOT FOR MOMS!! warning where applicable... here we go!

50. STAR WARS - EPISODE IX: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (Amazon)

People really hated this movie... I actually really liked it! Aside from the horses running around on the outside of spaceships (which makes no fucking sense... didn’t Leia get all space frozen exactly one movie ago??), it was a satisfying conclusion to a franchise I guess I don’t really care about as much as other people, so I was into it!

49. JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM (Amazon)

Quickly becoming one of the more well produced action franchises of all time. Probably two too many machine gun shootouts in this one for me (I get a little exhausted with gun violence), but the hand-to-hand stuff is brilliant and bloody and badass! Not to mention the deepening of the mythology and Halle Berry and her dogs. It’s a fun time, a welcome addition to the series, and I can’t wait for number 4.

48. QUEEN & SLIM (Amazon)

Billed as the black BONNIE AND CLYDE and from first time feature director Melina Matsoukas, this atmospheric tragedy is gorgeous to look at, delivers a pair of standout lead performances, and proves to have one of the more stressful final 30min of any of the films I saw this year, even if you know the inevitable conclusion is just around the corner.

47. UNDER THE SILVER LAKE (Amazon PRIME)

A wild Los Angeles noir story from the director of IT FOLLOWS. Plays like if David Lynch directed THE BIG LEBOWSKI, a weird, screwball whodunit. It’s a little long, and there are so many loose ends that seem to be thrown in just to fuck with the protagonist (and the audience), but it’s a really fun time and you’ll want to stay to the end to see it all play out. LA looks gorgeous too.

46. KNOCK DOWN THE HOUSE (Netflix)

Truly inspiring. Really shows how if you put your mind to something, believe in yourself and that you can make a difference, you can accomplish anything. Regardless of your political leanings, or how you feel about AOC personally, this is well worth your time and it has a great message for young people, especially those young women of color who might not think they can achieve great levels of success. It made me cry the happy tears.

45. LONG DAY’S JOURNEY INTO NIGHT (Amazon)

Best known for it’s remarkable 59min-3D final take, this hallucinatory journey through memory and dreams is mind-blowing and breathtaking. Hard not to leave this one feeling like you’ve been put though some kind of experiment that you don’t fully understand, but you’ll want to experience again. Highly recommended if you have access to 3D, or simply have some killer edibles and want to be thrown for a loop.

44. CLIMAX (Amazon PRIME)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

Speaking of being under the influence, holy shit is this film nuts! From Gaspar Noe, who if you’re aware of his work, you kind of already know what you’re in store for here. It’s been described as “FAME directed by the Marquis de Sade”... incredible dance sequences and audacious camerawork that slowly but surely devolves into hell. It’s a blast!

43. HAIL SATAN? (Hulu)

A fresh and funny documentary about a group of smartass Satanists exposing the hypocrisy amongst bible-thumping Christians who’d rather stomp their feet and be the loudest in the room than listen to anyone else’s perspective. Frustrating and entertaining in equal parts, this compulsively watchable film makes you want to scream at these Jesus freaks as much as you want to laugh along with the antics of these harmless, intelligent and organized troublemakers. An excellent time well spent.

42. FIRST LOVE (Amazon)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

Director Takashi Miike’s yakuza action-comedy is the most accessible of his films I’ve seen (he’s now made more than 100 movies, which is insane), but that doesn’t mean it’s not a gonzo wild time at the movies. The violence is here in full force, but unlike AUDITION or ICHI THE KILLER, you don’t need a barf bag close by to enjoy it. It’s often hilarious and moves at a breakneck speed. Super fun!

41. THE DEAD DON’T DIE (Amazon PRIME)

Jim Jarmusch’s star-studded, droll zombie-comedy came and went from theaters without much fanfare, but provided me with plenty of laughs. It’s also the second of 3 Adam Driver vehicles to be on this year’s list. Bill Murray and Driver lead the way along with plenty familiar faces in cameos throughout (including the RZA in one of my favorite scene’s of the year). Classic Jarmusch... a meditation on death and mortality in his vintage style.

40. EL CAMINO: A BREAKING BAD MOVIE (Netflix)

Dude, Aaron Paul is a legit GREAT actor. Picks up right where the show left off, and I was on the edge of my seat and filled with anxiety just like I was during the best moments of the now classic series. It was good to hang out with my old friends again.

39. DOCTOR SLEEP (Amazon)

A box office flop due to poor promotion and a title people weren’t familiar with, this sequel to THE SHINING is based on the Stephen King book of the same name, which I read, and I can’t recommend it more. Great suspense, and fantastic performances from both Ewan McGregor and (especially) Rebecca Ferguson. It’s a dark and scary film that is a fun trip back to the Overlook Hotel... provided you wish to return there...

38. THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANCISCO (Amazon PRIME)

About 90min into this beautifully shot film I was ready to lock it in as a possible Top 5 contender. Then the bottom fell out for me the last quarter of the movie and lost my confidence. No bother, it’s still wonderful enough to find a spot on the list and carry my recommendation. Young men and women watching their city change before their eyes, and wondering what the concept of “home” really means is a real challenge facing many people here in the Bay Area. This film does a fantastic job conveying that, for most of the film anyway. 

37. THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON (Amazon)

A bonafide crown-pleaser of a movie, and another example of the true talent Shia LeBeouf has and is capable of (more on him later). A young man with Down Syndrome escapes his assisted-living facility to track down his wrestling idol the Saltwater Redneck with the help of an outlaw and a social worker. Sweet, funny, and heartfelt... a feel good surprise.

36. A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD (Amazon)

I didn’t cry nearly as much as I did during the excellent documentary WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR from last year, but if you’re a Mr. Rogers fan, you’ll still shed a few during this heartwarming film. Tom Hanks does his thing, and even though this movie is guilty of borrowing a little too much from the previous doc, it’s still a great showcase for the truly selfless and beautiful force of nature that Fred Rogers was. Bring tissues anyway.

35. CARMINE STREET GUITARS (In Theaters Now)

A love letter to both New York City and the art, joy, and love that goes into honing and maintaining one’s craft. Meanwhile the looming doom of gentrification hovers over the proceedings, never letting you get fully enrapt in the sweetness that these artists (and their many famous customers) exude when talking about and playing their one-of-a-kind works of art. A stunning and lovely piece for musicians and talentless fans of music alike.

34. HOLIDAY (Amazon)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

A tough, cold film with nary a character to actively root for... until after about an hour of icy behavior comes (no pun intended) a scene so shocking in its graphic and disturbing nature, people left the theater without staying for the final resolution. First time director Isabella Eklof pulls off the bold and audacious maneuver, all while making it seem like she doesn’t care whether you like her characters (or her film) at all. It’s a very fine balancing act, executed to perfection. But be warned... it’s rough.

33. AVENGERS: ENDGAME (Disney+)

What can I say? You saw it. It’s good. A bunch of Supermans fly around and blow shit up. A satisfying end (until the next 20 films).

32. MIDSOMMAR (Amazon Prime)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

A disturbing slow burn of a gothic horror film. Characters do hallucinogens while ritualistic religious murders and tribal mating practices threaten to ruin everyones existence. Florence Pugh is phenomenal (more from her in a minute) in a very trying roll. Doesn’t pack quite the punch of the director’s last film, HEREDITARY, but it’s still well worth the watch. But yeah, it’s disturbing.

31. APOLLO 11 (Hulu)

A fascinating look at the first moon landing from rarely seen archival footage and audio. Seeing it on the IMAX screen was intense and exhilarating, unlike narrative pictures like the severely overrated FIRST MAN. This isn’t my favorite documentary of the year, but it is an absolute lock to win the Academy Award for Best Doc of 2019. It’s a must see, a must experience.

30. HIGH LIFE (Amazon PRIME)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

French auteur Claire Denis’ bizarre, erotic sci-fi mindfuck about isolation and humanity is not for everyone, but is a brilliant take on the genre, and is yet another showcase for Robert Pattinson, who is quietly becoming one of my favorite working actors. Juliette Binoche also is on fire here and has what one critic calls “the single greatest one-person sex scene in the history of cinema.” So it has that going for it.

29. TRIPLE FRONTIER (Netflix)

A fully loaded heist film with no real bad guy, but instead a group of recognizable badasses in a Netflix-released action thrill ride. There’s absolutely no reason this should’ve worked, or even been half as good as it is, but boy is it good! Compulsively watchable, and rewatchable. If this were on Showtime as much as DEN OF THIEVES is I’d have seen it 30 times by now. It’s one of the most pleasant surprises of the year.

28. 1917 (Amazon)

An unbelievable visual achievement from cinematographer Roger Deakins and director Sam Mendes. The story isn’t the greatest war story ever told (are there great war stories?), but it’s shot to look like one continuous long take, sustained for 2hrs. It’s really an unbelievable feat, but doesn’t come off as gimmicky or distracting. It’s intense, beautifully staged, and sad. A big screen spectacle. 

27. TOY STORY 4 (Amazon)

Woody and the gang are back, and the films continue to keep the dust from collecting. It’s still so much fun to hang out with this group of misfit toys. There was talk that after the incredible TOY STORY 3 this was just a money grab and was labeled unnecessary, but I found it to be a sweet, charming, and nostalgic trip I was glad I took.

26. HONEYLAND (Hulu)

My pick for documentary of the year comes from the mountains of Macedonia, where a woman named Hatidze lives with her dying mother making a living cultivating honey. When a family of shitheads moves into a shanty next door, what seems like a fix for her lonely existence becomes catastrophic as they disregard her teachings and threaten her livelihood. I was an emotional wreck throughout the experience and it goes without saying it’s a must-see. Gorgeous and heartbreaking.

25. LITTLE WOMEN (Amazon)

I have never read the book, nor seen any of the film adaptations, so I went in blind to this lovely film. Director Greta Gerwig follows up the phenomenal LADYBIRD with this Altman-esque rendition of the widely beloved literary classic. I found it exceptional in its execution and performances, including the previously mentioned Florence Pugh, who is a knockout. A wonderful addition to the ever-growing stable of Christmas films I look to enjoy during future Decembers.

24. GREENER GRASS (Hulu)

It’s as if Tim & Eric made BLUE VELVET. Bizarre, outrageous, gross, and a guaranteed future midnight movie favorite. My sides hurt. A satire skewering upper-middle class suburban soccer moms and dads alike. Babies are given away. A boy turns into a dog. Everyone has braces. There’s a creep on the loose. It’s wild and flat-out hilarious literally from start to finish. Almost too many jokes to keep up with. Watch it! Bring weed. 

23. RELAXER (Amazon)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

Speaking of gross, this film is disgusting, but in a good way. A satire about lazy consumerism and self-destruction. It’s a short hang, thankfully, but if you can stomach it to the end (remember, it’s nasty) you’ll be rewarded with not only a hilarious dark comedy, but also an unexpected haymaker of sadness you didn’t see coming. It’s a pretty impressive feat, and an overall success. But, yeah, it’s fucking gross. 

22. AD ASTRA (Amazon)

APOCALYPSE NOW in space starring Brad Pitt. If you need more information than that, I don’t really know what else to do for you. 

21. SLUT IN A GOOD WAY (Amazon PRIME)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

A black-and-white raunchy French arthouse teen comedy that gives a middle finger to the double standard set by the equally raunchy teen-boys-will-be-boys genre. It’s so much fun, and honest, and the actors are such natural talents you forget the subject matter is at times shocking (only because of said double standard) and just go with it. I think it’s just wonderful. Seek it out!

20. US (HBO)

Jordan Peele’s excellent follow-up to GET OUT. Doppelganger home invasion terror with a killer twist. To describe more would be to risk giving something away. I’ll just say that Lupita Nyong’o is my pick to win her second Oscar, this time as Best Actress, here in a dual role. She’s incredible. If you haven’t seen it, try to go in blind, you’ll be rewarded.

19. THE FAREWELL (Amazon PRIME)

A heartfelt homecoming film about family, culture, and how the things we don’t say can be just as strong of a show of love as the things we do say. It’s sweet, tender, and bursting with personal flare and emotions from director Lulu Wang. Awkwafina also curbs her more manic and loud tendencies as a performer for more quiet, thoughtful, and somber choices. She’s phenomenal. 

18. KNIVES OUT (Amazon)

A clever ensemble whodunit that’s just as funny and smart as it is mysterious. Everyone across the board delivers as the assorted motley crew. The film rewards repeat viewings and Daniel Craig knocks it out of the park, stealing every scene he’s in, reminding us all what a fantastic actor he can be when he’s not sipping the Vespers. 

17. BOOKSMART (Hulu)

The female SUPERBAD is the elevator pitch, but this coming-of-age gem is really unlike any other example in the genre. They’re privileged, uber-smart, and have never partied. Yet they have the same neuroses as any other teen scared to death of what to do next or how to be normal. It’s also fucking hilarious. You wanna hang out with these girls and at the same time bury your head under the covers because you feel their pure terror/embarrassment. It’s a blast.

16. THE MUSTANG (Amazon)

Starring Matthias Schoenaerts, one of the finest actor’s working today, this understated and emotional drama about rehabilitation and redemption floored me upon first viewing. It is a gorgeous film. You’ve probably seen stories similar to this before, but rarely is one told with such compelling conviction. A borderline masterpiece. 

15. HONEY BOY (Amazon PRIME)

Remember a few years back we had the McConaissance, where everything Matthew McConaughey did was solid gold after years of middling bullshit? I’m calling it right now: Shia LaBeouf is about to have the same thing. He wrote the script and plays a version of his own father in a brutal version of his own fucked up childhood as an up-and-coming child actor. It’s heartbreaking and absolutely riveting. I’m hoping he gets an Oscar nod, but regardless I implore you to seek this film out, he’s incredible. 

14. MONOS (Hulu)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

A bizarre, bewildering, chaotic, and unsettling film. Some of the most beautiful photography I saw on the big screen this year, yet some of the most surreal and disturbing imagery as well. It’s a militarized, Latin American LORD OF THE FLIES with commentary on tribal behavior and violence. It can be a tough sit, but boy is it beautiful. 

13. DOLEMITE IS MY NAME (Netflix)

What a wonderful, welcome surprise! Eddie Murphy in an awards caliber performance as Rudy Ray Moore, the multi-hyphenate performer who created the alter ego Dolemite, spawning a film franchise and many legendary comedy albums. It’s obviously hilarious, and a great behind-the-scenes biopic, but also shockingly sweet and heartfelt, even between all the cuss words. I even teared up a couple times. The 3rd best thing Netflix released this year (more on that in a minute).

12. JOKER (Amazon)

You already saw this.

11. THE IRISHMAN (Netflix)

It’s far too long. It could’ve done with being cut as a three part miniseries or special. There’s about 45min worth of scenes that are quintessential DVD bonus features (I’m looking at you Action Bronson), but goddamn if it’s not Scorsese doing his Scorsese thing. It’s a gangster film, but it’s also a meditation on aging and death. Pesci is incredible and Pacino steals the show. Sure, the de-aging thing is distracting, the curb stomping scene is embarrassing. But still, I mean... IT’S MARTIN SCORSESE!

10. PAIN AND GLORY (Amazon)

Pedro Almodovar’s most personal work to date, a tale about making art and the loneliness of love. If you are unfamiliar with his work, this is a great jumping off point. His movies can be challenging and dark, but this film has such joy and hope amongst the heartache. The final reveal, while not earth shattering on paper, is nonetheless so moving it left the screening I attended without a dry eye in the place. It is his best film yet. 

9. THE LIGHTHOUSE (Amazon)

From the director of THE WITCH comes another type of gothic horror, this time with the legendary Willem Dafoe and the (already mentioned) brilliant Robert Pattinson marooned on a lighthouse rock alone to drive each other completely insane. It’s hallucinatory, violent, disorienting, and flat-out brilliant. If it weren’t for another guy we’ll get to in a minute, Dafoe would be a lock for Best Supporting Actor here. It’s a slightly challenging film, with the period style mariner dialogue, but it’s just as funny as it is terrifying.

8. JOJO RABBIT (Amazon)

A beautiful, touching, funny, crowd-pleasing comedy about a little Nazi whose imaginary friend is Hitler. Yep, your read that correctly. There are about a million reasons this should absolutely not work. Yet, it’s one of the best theater going experiences I had this year. A must see... ESPECIALLY with Mom!

7. MARRIAGE STORY (Netflix)

The best written and acted film of the year, and the third Adam Driver vehicle to appear here. Sad but honest. Touching but brutal. It’s awkward and a bit of a bummer, but there’s such great work being done here, in front of and behind the camera. Noah Baumbach is a force of nature, and has yet to make a film I was even iffy about. He’s the real deal and this might be his masterpiece. 

6. WAVES (Amazon)

Speaking of auteurs, Trey Edward Shults is now 3/3 on features after the brilliant KRISHA and IT COMES AT NIGHT. Here he follows a middle-class black family, led by a domineering father, through a tragic moment in all of their lives. The first half deals with the son’s story, then abruptly switches to the daughter’s life post said event. It shouldn’t work, yet somehow manages to be one of the most emotionally affecting pieces of art I saw this year. The camera never stops moving, constantly swirling and whirling and you can’t help to be sucked up into it. It’s a beautiful tragedy.

5. LONG SHOT (HBO)

The biggest and most pleasant surprise of the year. An opposites-attract rom-com with more brains, bite, social commentary, and laughs than it has any right to have. Easily the most fun you’ll have with (almost) the whole family... there’s a lot of cum jokes. But don’t let the vulgarity dissuade you! It’s a total riot with just the right amount of sweetness to balance out the saltiness. I love love love this movie.

4. THE ART OF SELF-DEFENSE (Hulu)

What starts as a strange, dark comedy morphs into a FIGHT CLUB-esque thriller with allusions to disturbingly toxic masculinity and an offbeat take on what it takes to “be a man.” It is laugh-out-loud hilarious, and expertly made, while really having something to say, and it says it in a way I’ve never really seen before. It’s not surprising this didn’t get more attention, the characters are truly difficult to relate to, let alone root for, but as far as originality goes, you’d be hard pressed to find anything this year much better than this. 

3. UNCUT GEMS (Amazon)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

The cinematic equivalent of being locked in the brain of a lunatic having a cocaine-fueled anxiety attack. If that sounds like fun (AND IT IS!!!) then this is the film for you! Oh, and Adam Sandler is going to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Actor. For real. It’s a chaotic, stress-filled masterpiece.

2. ONCE UPON A TIME... IN HOLLYWOOD (Amazon)

My favorite filmmaker’s 2nd best film. A personal story about the love of film during the late 60s, a time of dirty hippies and Charles Manson, as well as the passing of the torch from old Hollywood to the “golden age” of cinema. It’s a fairytale of sorts, with Tarantino’s trademark flare for spontaneous violence and mining multiple genres to make his most mature work since PULP FICTION. I’ve been rewarded with new takeaways upon each subsequent viewing, and my love and appreciation for it only grows and grows. Brad Pitt is a lock for Best Supporting Actor, he’s magnificent. It was always going to be my #1 with a bullet no matter what, because it’s just that great...

1. PARASITE (Amazon)

...but then Bong Joon-ho, the master of new Korean cinema unleashed PARASITE. Not only is it the best film of 2019, it’s one of the best films I have ever seen. Like EVER ever. He is in such astonishing control of his craft it’s hard not to sit back and marvel and the sheer skill on display. You can be laughing one moment and then recoiling in horror during the same breath. He’s using multiple genre tropes, incredible set design, pitch perfect acting/writing, and such exquisite planning you can’t possibly know what’s in store for you from one scene to the next. It is an absolute masterpiece and if it doesn’t sweep every category it’s nominated for at this year’s Oscars, it’ll be a travesty. If you have even a passing interest in film as an art form, the power it can wield, and the messages it can convey, you owe it to yourself to see this film. It’s perfect.

Well, there it is. Thanks for reading any part of this. Now go see PARASITE. I love you.

[petitelepus]

Halloween, 2. Lost

What is lost is lost, what about when you’re lost also? Thanks to @imababblekat!

She keeps me company sometimes and we bond over Transformers! Enjoy people, these are starting to be shorter from this day onwards! Oh yeah, and nobody character dies in this chapter.

You were visiting an alien planet with Drift on tow with you while Lost Light was resting in docking area. The streets were bustling with alien lifeforms and everything was so exotic. There was a festival going on, but you didn’t really know much about it. Drift said it was some kind of a planet’s tradition, but neither of you had no idea what the tradition was. You just shrugged and went with the flow and that flow took you to this small mysterious shop.

The shop was actually so small that it was perfect with for you, but Drift had to take his haloform to fit inside. The shop was old, made of old brown painted cracking wood, crystals of all sorts were hanging from the ceilings and walls were filled with all sorts of space hippy voodoo stuff.

The owner, a humanoid with four arms greeted you. He was a sad looking little thing, like a old grandpa holding a cane with two of his lower arms while he read a book with his upper arms through his slit eyes.

”Hello there mister.” You went to greet him, only for him to put his book down and put a hand to his ear and asked you to repeat. You did. Five times and in the end he thought you were admiring his collection. Well, you were, but you were also trying to be polite so you just smiled and waved.

Drift and you looked around, Drift staying behind you to ask the old man about the crystal tree he was selling, only to old man to ask him if he wanted tea with tentacle dip?

You giggled by yourself as you made your way to deeper parts of the store looking through all sorts of weird objects that were at some point of the time in some part of the universe used in some kind of rituals and traditions. That’s when you venture to the hall of mirrors.

There must have been hundreds of mirrors all sizes. Big, small, round, square, everything! Your reflection greeted you wherever you looked and you had to admit it, you looked good today. A little make up never hurt, especially around aliens who could be pretty finicky.

That’s when you saw it. A mirror bigger than you had ever seen before, covered with big dusty cloth. The cloth looked old and moth eaten by the edges and you think it might have been black at one point, but it had dulled into dirty grey. Time had really been rough on this one.

You were about to walk past it and continue if you would happen to find a mirror you would like… When you heard a tap?

Confused, you looked behind yourself thinking that Drift was following you, but there was no one. The tap was heard again and you walked backwards until you could identify the source of the tapping. They were coming from behind the cloth.

You looked around yourself and carefully pulled the fabric away off. The sight behind it was breathtaking. It was the prettiest mirror you had ever seen and by far the largest. The frame must have some kind of an alien metal because it glowed in different shades of rainbow which ever angle you looked at it from.

Then the image of you. It was you, looking back you yourself. You smiled to the mirror, but something was wrong. Somehow your smile game off as a smirk and before you knew it, arms stuck out from your mirror image, forcefully grabbed you and you shrieked Drift out as the arms pulled you in.

You landed on the ground with a thud, confused and dazzled beyond belief. You pushed yourself up on your feet and turned to look back at the mirror, but it was dark for some reason. Weird. Maybe you had a weird seizure or hallucination from the incenses in the shop.

Creeped out by the whole situation, you turned and left the hall of mirrors, returning back to Drift and the old shop keeper. ”Drift, the weirdest thing just happened to me and I have no clue how to explain it.”

The mech in holoform turned to look at you from the case of voodoo dolls. ”What the frag are you talking about?” He snarled, snarled at you and you jolted in shock. Drift never even raised his voice at you, let alone glared you like he was doing now.

”Drift, what’s wrong? You’re acting weird…” You asked from your friend and his glare at you turned harsher. ”If there is someone acting weird it’s you bitch. Did you hit your numbskull or something?”

Now you were officially shocked. You quickly glanced at the shopkeeper, but you were taken a back by the sight of him. Instead of smiling nice looking old man you were greeted by a fossil of one. Wrinkles more than anyone could count, eyes closed shut and weakly just sitting on the chair and gripping the table. He was not the same old man you had seen when you had entered the store.

You were jolted from your shock when Drift grabbed your arm and dragged you out of the store. ”We’re leaving, this place is a dumb…”

You were shocked to see that the planet where you were at wasn’t as happy looking and filled with life as it was earlier. Everything was gloomier, people and aliens were sulking instead of talking happily— Did that guy just get stabbed!?

You had no time to worry about a complete stranger’s health when Drift was dragging you through the crowd a way too forcefully, his claws almost piercing your skin and hurting you.

”Ouch, Drift—!”

”I told you, I’m not Drift! I’m Deadlock!” He shouted at you and you flinched in shock. Suddenly everything made more sense. Drift would never raise his voice at you let alone call you with horrible names. As you looked closer you could even see that his sky blue eyes weren’t what they used to be, but they were crimson!

”Y- You’re not Drift…!” You stuttered and in rush of adrenaline you yanked your arm back from him and run to the crowd. You could hear the Deadlock shouting and cursing after you, but you didn’t care, you had to get back to that store! Luckily you didn’t make it far.

You threw the store’s door open and without even a glance to elder man you run to hall of the mirrors where the giant mirror rested.

”Hey! Anybody! Is there someone there!?” You shouted and banged your fist against the mirror. Suddenly the darkness was lifted and you were greeted by a sight of you on the mirror, but she wasn’t you. She was something far more malicious and evil with the wicked look in her eyes that compared to your kind ones really struck the difference out.

”So, how’s the life in there?” The other you asked. ”Though you have been there exactly 5 minutes.”

”Let me out! Let me return! Please, I don’t belong here!” You cried as you placed your hands against the mirror and tried to push through it but it wouldn’t let you back in your own world no matter how much you pushed!

The other you raised an eyebrow at you. ”Why should I? I don’t want to return there and I like it here. Sunny and calm, the whole planet is totally different from there.” She grinned and leaned in closer as if to tease you. ”I wonder how Lost Light back in here is…!”

”Leave them alone! Leave my friends alone!” You shouted and banged your fists against the glass, really now just wanting to beat your evil side up. She snickered. ”You mean my friends? I’m you now and you are me and let me tell you, at the Lost Light there, you have no friends what-so-ever~”

You stopped hitting the glass and just glared at the sight of you. ”You’re evil…!”

”So I’ve told~”

”Let me back at once!”

”Not a chance! This is the moment I’ve been waiting for ages!” The other you shouted right back at you and you recoiled at the harsh and cruel tone of her voice. If the bark could hurt you would be good as dead.

”So… You came from the other side as well.” Came a voice behind other you. You looked over other yours shoulder and saw the shop keeper standing behind the other you. Other you turned around and placed her hands over her hips, striking a sassy pose.

”Yeah, so? What’s it up to you old man?” The other you asked without a hint of care in her voice. You hit your fists against the glass and shouted with all your might. ”Please mister! Let me out!”

The old man didn’t move and inch. He just kept staring at the other you… Until a wicked grin grew to his face. You gasped in shock and shop keeper laughed. ”Finally! I’ve been waiting years for someone else to come over and the other side!”

You heart froze in horror of realisation. The old man on this side of the mirror, the meek and half dead old man was originally from your world…! What had happened to him in this world that could have turned him from the used to be him to this weak shell of a person he was now…?

Your blood turned cold at the idea of you spending any more second in this world and you banged your fists harder against the glass. ”Please, let me out, please!”

The other you and the other shopkeeper completely ignored you in favour of discussing between each other.

”So you old fart are also from the other side?” The other you asked and grinned. ”You changed places with original owner and locked him up in our world. That’s wicked.”

The hold man chuckled. ”Oh, it has been years since I came over. Life has been good ever since I changed places with my wimpy counterpart. Like my wife here wasn’t a bitch like in there…!”

The other you chuckled. ”I hear you old man. Life was one big shit fest in there. Hey old man.” The other you glanced at you over her shoulder and smiled. ”Do you mind if I break this mirror of yours?”

Your heart froze and you hit the mirror harder until your hands started to bruise. The old man stopped smiling, cracking an eye open to look at other you like he was testing her. ”I don’t mind, but are you sure girlie? You won’t be able to go back to our world after that. You think you’re ready to live here in a world unknown to you where nothing you knew is real?”

The other you grinned madly and with a few steps walked up to old man, snatching his walking cane from his hands and raising it above her head. ”I’ve never been sure of anything in my life…!”

”No, please no!” You cried, but no avail. The other you swung the cane down and shattered the mirror, the image of you and your chance of returning back home with one cruel swing.

The mirror shattered and you cried out as shards flew straight at you from the mirror and you fell back on your ass. You carefully opened your eyes and saw to your greatest loss that the mirror was no more. Only shards of glass in your feet and over you.

”There you are!” Came a angry growl from behind you and before you knew what hit you, Deadlock yanked you forcefully up by your upper arm and started to drag you away. ”Always doing what you want…! If Captain wasn’t so keen to you I would have taken you by force ages ago…!”

”W- wait!” You cried, pleading him to stop just at the door of the shop. You reached towards the elder shop keeper. ”Please explain that this is a huge mistake! We don’t belong to this world, we’re from the other world!”

The old man shakily lifted his head and tried to talk, but to your shock you saw that his tongue had been cut off and by the sign of it it had been ages ago. All he could do was mumble and grumble incoherently, still trying to talk.

Deadlock groaned and pulled out a gun. ”What a drag…!” And he shot the shopkeeper right where he stood! You cried our in horror, your hands flying over your mouth in shock and Deadlock blew the still smoking pipe of his gun before putting it back.

”Now…” He started and he sounded more ominous and darker than before as he looked at you with his dark crhinsom eyes gleaming. ”What was this I’m not from this world whining?” There was a dark and wicked smirk on his face and you felt your blood truly freeze as he dragged you away.

On the other side of the mirror, in your world the other you chuckled with a pleased grin and threw the cane to somewhere, effectively breaking another mirror.

”(Y/n)!” At the sound of your name, the other you turned and saw Deadlock, no, someone else standing on his place. He looked like her Deadlock, but his eyes weren’t blood red but light blue like sky back in Earth. If her Deadlock used to be Drift he must have been formerly known as Deadlock.

The other you gave him the most awkward look she could manage and rubbed the back of her head. ”He he… I’m sorry Drift, I accidentally broke this mirror… You aren’t mad are you…?” She was testing the waters. Her Deadlock would have been furious, but this Drift just smiled kindly and nodded, reaching for his pocket.

For a second your evil twin thought he was pulling out his gun and was going to shoot you and she was ready to bounce on him, but she flinched when he instead pulled out a wallet.

”It’s okay, I can cover it. Sir, how much would the mirror be?” Drift asked smiling to the old man. The man grumbled a little under his breath and finally announced the price. ”100 000 tieras. It was a old thing.”

That was robbery! You were so proud of the old man. Your Deadlock would have killed the man on the spot and dragged you off, but this Drift just dug out a fortune without batting an eye and handed out the money. ”Here, this should cover the expenses. Once again, I’m horribly sorry for this.”

The old man said nothing, nodded and smiled pleasely as he accepted money with two of his hands. ”Thank you young man. You’re such a nice customer.”

Drift smiled, but then he noticed that the other you was still standing in middle of the broken glass and quickly swept her in his arms, much to her surprise. She let out a small yelp, quickly wrapping her arms around his neck.

”Careful! There’s glass everywhere!” The mech in human suit warned and the other you grinned.

”Yes. Shattered glass indeed.”

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 80: Gem Drill

“I’m talking to the Cluster?”

So I finally figured out why I don’t like Gem Drill.

For a while I had it in my head that the issue was pacing. And it does remain true that the episode-to-episode pacing did it no favors, what with the arc it concludes being interrupted by the utterly unrelated Super Watermelon Island before jumping back in. But because Gem Drill’s third act drags on forever and somehow feels rushed at the same time, I just chalked it up to bad internal pacing and called it a day.

However, rewatching the series for Steven, Universally reminded me that there are several episodes that I’ve praised for incredible pacing which share a similar structure to this one: Mirror Gem, The Return, and Message Received stand out as stories that speed right through the first two acts for an extended third, and I love them all. And what’s more, I enjoyed the first two acts of Gem Drill way more than I remembered. Something was up with my pacing-as-problem theory.

So right after rewatching the episode for review, I rewatched it again. That’s right, I rerewatched it. And it struck me this second time through that the X factor is something I’ve taken so deeply for granted that I haven’t discussed it much, or even really thought about it, until now: Steven Universe has unspeakably terrific dialogue.

Individual lines may stick out more in my memory, and are definitely easier to write about in this format (for one thing, I can quote them), which might be why it hasn’t stuck out as much. It sounds so basic that I feel sorta dumb writing it, but this show is so good at developing characters and plot through conversation. It excels at banter and arguments and reassurances and just having people interact in a way that’s always compelling.

The reason I have to mention it now is that something this reliably solid is hard to notice until it’s gone. But sure enough, the conclusion to Gem Drill (and what’s worse, to the Cluster Arc as a whole) is nearly four minutes of Steven talking to an entity that can barely talk back, and it just does not work. He might be astonished that he’s talking to the Cluster, but this episode falters because he isn’t talking with the Cluster.

Compare this to Mirror Gem, The Return, and Message Received, where we use the extended third acts to have major conversations with Lapis, the Homeworld Gems, and Yellow Diamond. You can’t have that sort of satisfying ending when one of the characters isn’t even a character, but a jumble of nearly incomprehensible voices. And what sucks is that making the Cluster “talk” this way is a perfectly reasonable creative choice: it should sound like a jumble of nearly incomprehensible voices. 

But the show is usually way better at getting around limitations like this to create compelling television. I know this is a journey of the mind and that Steven is special, but we still could have included Peridot with a wave of the narrative wand to continue their low-key debate about necessary force and commit more to the theme through conversation, where the show shines. Barring that, we could’ve used music to add narrative oomph to a one-sided conversation, which would’ve been especially interesting with such a discordant legion of potential singers. Instead, we get a finale that’s just...

It’s just boring.

And it’s frustrating because I think it’s boring of me to just write “it’s boring,” but lord, this scene is so uninteresting to me that it’s hard to find the energy to write about it. Zach Callison is always great, and the animation is gorgeous, but takes sooooo lonnnnnnnng for the scene to convey something it could’ve done in half the time, and there’s nothing to distract us from how long it’s taking. There’s barely any tension despite this clearly being the intention, because there’s only one character in the scene that I care about and he’s obviously not going to die because the show’s named after him. I guess Peridot is in danger, but maybe we’d care about that if we could see her in danger instead of generic rumblings and loud noises.

If this criticism sounds similar to my spiel about caring about Malachite in Super Watermelon Island because she came out of nowhere, it’s because both episodes share a similar character problem. A show about empathy falls apart when the viewer is apathetic, and giving major plot importance to poorly handled characters is a go-to formula for viewer apathy. For a series that’s usually so awesome at both characters and dialogue, it’s shocking that we end the first arc where our heroes literally save the world with back-to-back episodes that are this weak. The buildup was awesome, and the rest of Season 3 is amazing, but this is a bizarre pair of misfires in the middle of a hot streak, and it couldn’t have come in a worse time in terms of the plot.

Please note that I’m not at all against a conclusion where Steven saves the world by talking it out. It’s the best message a show like this could tell, especially because the rest of the episode does an amazing job presenting Peridot’s brutal pragmatism as the alternative: while her blithe penchant for violence makes for a few great jokes, particularly when it comes to D-pads, the line of the episode is Shelby Rabara’s somber justification for attacking a mindless being: “It doesn’t matter if it knows what it’s doing, it’s still going to do it.” And while Super Watermelon Island bears a lot of blame for sucking all the momentum out of the Cluster Arc before Gem Drill valiantly tries to rev us back up, having Steven’s approach come right after a huge brawl does seal the deal. Steven should save the world with kindness. This would be a top-tier episode if the execution was as good as the moral.

With that said, the episode surrounding this disappointing conclusion is fantastic, even if said conclusion blocked it from my memory. We get off to a breakneck start that concisely confirms the stakes before we leap into the plot. It’s not only great at setting the tone, but it efficiently allows the episode time for the lengthened third act, regardless of how that act turns out.

This is a terrific Steven/Peridot episode, thanks to the same great dialogue I was just complaining about the conclusion lacking. They hit just the right balance of humor and heart, with Peridot finally allowing herself to be vulnerable and admit that she not only misses her home, but doesn’t actually hate the Crystal Gems. We’re already paying off “Wow, thanks!” for emotional value, but this touching scene is still played with laughs instead of pure sap; I love that Peridot feels the need to clarify how little she cares about humans that aren’t Steven in her last words. 

Still, I’d love to see an alternative universe where Super Watermelon Island and Gem Drill were made as a full-length episode a la Bismuth rather than a traditional two-parter. Perhaps a more direct juxtaposition of the action of Alexandrite fighting Malachite with Steven talking things out would’ve improved both scenes, and in any case, spending more time setting up before we reached both conclusions would have added more tension than the rush both episodes give us. This is clearly an A-plot and a B-plot that could happen more or less simultaneously; Steven could easily black out in the drill to let him possess a Watermelon Steven, and it would make the team’s split-up make a bit more sense. I dunno, it just seems like any sort of rework would be preferable to the finished products we got.

So yeah, sorry to be so down on these two. But I’m pretty excited to be getting back to episodes I like, and I can’t really think of what the next bad one on the horizon even is. Season 3 ahoy!

Future Vision!

I love love love the recurring plot point that Blue and Yellow Diamond don’t know that the Cluster was neutralized. Because for one, of course they wouldn’t, and for two, it’s the impetus for their appearance in Reunited. All the Cluster needs is a thumbs-up to add more character than Gem Drill did in an entire episode.

This is the exact halfway point of the original series, the 80th episode out of 160. While I’m not huge on Gem Drill, I at least appreciate that the moment that divides both halves of Steven Universe is its title character saving the world.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Definitely a step up from Super Watermelon Island, and I like a good two-thirds of it, but I’m still not a fan of Gem Drill. The ending just isn’t captivating, which is pretty bare minimum for any form of entertainment, and it’s a disappointing conclusion to an otherwise outstanding arc. At least we still have Message Received for an emotional climax. 

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

When It Rains

Catch and Release

Chille Tid

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

(As with Super Watermelon Island, there’s no official promo art, so I’m using this nifty piece of fanart by Nina Rosa.)

[thejoeywright-blog]

YEAR IN REVIEW : Film 2018

Good evening/afternoon/morning,

A few notes on the breakdown on my year at the movies. I saw a grand total of 134 films released in 2018. A fair amount thanks in great part to MoviePass and various streaming services. If you are a fan of comic book movies, I would like to extend to you a personal thank you as you kept the movies theaters afloat this year. However, with the exception of Black Panther, I was located in the auditorium just down the hall. Full disclosure: I did actually try and see Avengers : Infinity War, but two four year-old’s were not being parented correctly and I ended up walking out. I hope they enjoyed seeing their favorite heroes turn to dust. I also most notably missed Mary Poppins Returns, Aquaman, Ant-Man and the Wasp, Spider-Man:Into the Spiderverse, Oceans 8, and Fifty Shades Freed. One film I did have the privilege of seeing and would surely be in my top ten, Under the Silverlake, is technically not scheduled for release until the Spring of 2019. So look forward to hearing about it next year. All that being said, here is how I saw the movies this year. Enjoy.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Black Panther, Bodied, Boy Erased, First Reformed, Hearts Beat Loud, Hot Summer Nights, If Beale Street Could Talk, Isle of Dogs, Minding the Gap, Mission Impossible:Fallout, A Quiet Place, The Rider, Thunder Road, Tully, Won’t You Be My Neighbor

THE TOP TEN

10. The Miseducation of Cameron Post

This is the “other gay conversion camp” movie that sadly was overlooked in place of Boy Erased. I saw both, and while the latter packs some excellent performances, judging by my exposure to Christian camps, this was the one that rang most authentic.

9.  Suspiria

Coming on the heels of Luca Guadagnino’s masterpiece Call Me By Your Name, there was no other film I was looking forward to more in 2018 than Suspiria. I also wouldn’t believe they had the same director. This heavy on style remake of the 1977 horror classic of the same name is truly made in Guadagnino’s image. It was vile, erotic, funny, beautiful, and captivating often in the same breaths. The buzzed about “contortionist dance sequence” from CinemaCon lived up to its vomit inducing hype reminding me while I liked the film a great deal, it’s not for the squeamish.

8.  Vice

Some are saying it lionizes former Vice President Dick Cheney. Others are saying it runs his name through the dirt.Part biopic, more parts political satire. It is definitely more Dr. Stangelove than Lincoln in terms of story and tone.  In a somewhat packed theater, those looking for a straight biopic, who I imagine missed director Adam McKay’s previous works Anchorman and The Big Short were seen heading for the exits due to the amounts of silliness. Amy Adams gives a downright diabolical performance as Lynn Cheney often overshadowing that of her on screen husband. 

7.  Annihilation 

Alex Garland’s follow-up to Ex Machina is much bigger film which in his hands is not a bad thing. Natalie Portman plays a biologist looking for answers after her presumed dead husband suddenly returns from secret military assignment.Your typical “journey into the unknown” story is enhanced with amazing visuals, intriguing scientific concept, and chilling horror. I’m still haunted by the sounds coming out of that, uhh, lets just call it a bear.

6.  Burning

An American remake of Burning would clock in at 92 minutes and be forgotten immediately upon leaving the theater. This is why I’m glad this was in the hands  Chang-dong Lee, a director who focuses greatly on the human condition. Large amounts of the run time of Burning is dedicated to the emotions, reactions, and exploration of our characters. The Walking Dead’s Steven Yeun gives the supporting performance of the year as the mysterious Ben. A love-triangle, a missing girl, and burning greenhouses amount to the most rewarding cinematic experience I had in 2018. 

5.  Roma

Roma is a film that asks of its viewer to almost meditate within it. Those familiar with director Alfonso Cuaron’s other films, Children of Men and Gravity, will find a more reserved and personal picture. The story of a maid and the middle class family she cares for in the Colonia Roma neighborhood of Mexico City is the most relatable and touching film of the year. First time actor Yalitza Aparicio gives one of the most award-worthy debut performances in recent memory as Cleo. Scenes have lingered in my mind since my viewing almost a month ago now, particularly a single-shot sequence of a family swimming into the ocean with no realization of how powerful the surf can be. 

4.  The Favourite

This cheeky period COMEDY, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, had me laughing harder than any other film in 2018. The story of Queen Anne’s two most trusted advisers battle for her commendation is delicious and diabolical at every turn. The film relies strongly on the equally grand performances it’s three ladies Olivia Coleman, Rachel Weisz, and Emma Stone, but DO NOT, I repeat do not sleep on the duck races.

3. A Star is Born

A Star is Born has been a social and commercial juggernaut with hefty box office sales, record sales, music award nominations, and memes beyond galore. However, it’s also an excellent example of Hollywood at its nostalgic best. There are easy avenues director, star, screenwriter, songwriter, catering manager Bradley Cooper could have taken with the thrice revamped story, but he plays it very close to the chest. It’s well known within my circle of friends and family how much I truly adored Cooper as the burning out rock star Jackson Maine.. Or Jack as you told me at the bar you wanted to be called... Every line of dialogue. Every smirk. Every caring gesture to Allie, Lady Gaga in frankly the best thing she’s ever breathed life into. Everything works here. See it the biggest and loudest way possible. 

2.  BlacKkKlansman

Here is my pick for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. It checks all the boxes. Great performances, screenplay, and direction with a great message tied in. I used to hold issue with Spike Lee’s political and social statements book-ending his films, but here it really works. Ron Stallworth, the excellent John David Washington, is Colorado Springs first African-American police officer, who on whim manages to infiltrate the local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan. He works as the voice on the phone while his partner is the nice upstanding wh-ite man they are seeing. What follows is a wild, funny, thrilling, and cautionary tale that rings truer in 2018 than its setting of the 1970s.

1. Sorry To Bother You

I saw Sorry To Bother You on July 16, 2018. It has held my number one spot for almost seven full months. Leaving the theater I had a feeling I have not had in a movie since 2003, “Well I’ve never seen anything like that before!” That alone holds a lot of weight after watching 133 other films this year that I could compare to something previous. The feature film directorial debut from The Coup musician Boots Riley ten years from now, much in the same way Pulp Fiction and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind are viewed, will be seen as “the norm” and a turning point in the way movies in its genre are made. I realize that is high praise, but risks are taken here where lesser films have flown off the rails. Somehow Riley takes what many would deem “absolutely insane” and makes it work. The performance of Lakeith Stanfield has been grossly unmerited all award season and is one of the best of the year. No other performance this year is asked to navigate the varying levels of despair, satire, and rage than Stanfield. Sorry To Bother You arrives without training wheels or a brake, possibly even handle bars. Enjoy the ride because you’ve never been on one like it before. 

YEAR END AWARDS

BEST FILM: BlacKkKlansman

BEST DIRECTOR: Alfonso Cuaron for ‘Roma’

BEST ACTRESS: Olivia Coleman for ‘The Favourite’

BEST ACTOR: Bradley Cooper for ‘A Star is Born’

SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Amy Adams for ‘Vice’

SUPPORTING ACTOR: Steven Yeun for ‘Burning’

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: ‘Burning’

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: ‘Sorry to Bother You’

CINEMATOGRAPHY: ‘Roma’

BEST SCORE : IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK’

BEST ANIMATED FILM: Isle of Dogs

BEST DOCUMENTARY: Minding the Gap

BEST FIRST FILM: Boots Riley for ‘Sorry To Bother You’

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE: Jim Cummings in ‘Thunder Road’

SCENES OF THE YEAR:

“Shallow” from ‘A Star is Born’

“Breaking the Waves” from ‘Roma’

“What’s On the Menu” from ‘Vice’

“Eulogy” from ‘Thunder Road’

Final scene from ‘If Beale Street Could Talk’

“The Contortionist” from ‘Suspiria’

[sunyoonandstars]

BTS Scenario 5: You’re sick in bed and Hoseok wants to take care of you  ...

So, this scenario is based on the following anonymous request:

I hope whoever made this request is content with the way it turned out!? I, for my part, had fun writing this up and hope you enjoy! 

fluff, angst, hurt/comfort 

Pairing: You x Hoseok / J-Hope 

(He looked just so damn beautiful in this, I had to put it here ...)

One Shot: Sick In Bed

Around noon, at least according to the warm light falling through your bedroom window, you once again wake up from one of those confusing, feverish dreams that have been plaguing you ever since two nights ago. Sweaty, your head aching and heavy, you try to sit up. It seems to take all your strength to merely lift your arm and reach for the glass of water on your nightstand. You don’t even dare to fully open your eyes since the daylight hurts them. Feeling the refreshingly cold water run down your sore throat, you can’t help but let out a sigh of relief, mixed with a pained groan. Those tonsils of yours are killing you. Overall you feel like dying. When you take your temperature you can barely believe the readings to be true. 39,5 / 103, 1 degrees! You should really go see a doctor, you guess, this mysterious sickness of yours has been going on for almost three days already. Soon you’ll run out of fever reducer and tea, your fridge being empty, too. Your aching eyes half closed, you check your phone which you had set to vibrate in order to get some sleep. A few texts from colleagues, politely inquiring about your health, get-well-soon messages from your friends from Uni. And about a dozen missed calls and double as many messages from your boyfriend, Hoseok. Immediately, you start scrolling through his texts, all the other messages of no importance compared to his.

Only minutes after you sent your last text, your phone rings again. „Hobi, I’m so, so sorry!“, you greet your boyfriend before he even gets a chance to speak. „I hate that I am a distraction! Y’all must be so busy preparing for your concert. It’s only three days until then …“ „Yah! Y/n, don’t you dare apologize for being sick!“, he scolds you, and even only picturing the expression on his face right now makes you smile fondly. He’s simply the cutest whenever he gets upset or annoyed … „But how are you anyways? Did your fever go down at all? And how’s your throat? Do you have enough to drink and eat? Food is important, too, when you’re sick! I should bring you soup …“ „Calm down, Hobi, I’m not gonna die. It’s just a bad cold or something.“ „You really shouldn't take this too lightly, y/n! I googled your symptoms. It could also be tonsillitis or even scarlet fever! You should really go see a doctor, y/n! Your health is no joke! And I want it to last for many, many years to come. Remember, we wanted to grow old and ugly together …!? Don’t you dare take that from me.“ You can imagine his angry pout, the mental picture eliciting another weak smile from you. When you move to sit more comfortably, however, another dizzy spell strikes you, accompanied by a wave of searing pain behind your forehead, and a groan escapes your lips. „Y/n!?“ You can hear the sheer panic in Hoseok’s voice. „What is it now!!??? What’s wrong, baby?“ „It’s nothing“, you lie, desperately fighting the urge to throw up. „Okay, I’m coming over!“ You can hear him hang up. Only seconds later, another message from him pops up on your phone.

You can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Well, that’s an understatement, actually. You would never have admitted it to Hoseok, not wanting to give him a misplaced guilty conscience, but you actually desperately long for him by your side right now, for his mere presence brightening up the room, the sight of his angelic, infectious smile, and the feeling of his arms around you, swaying you to sleep. You can barely hold back tears. Tears of fatigue, fever, anguish, frustration with your stupid body for being so sick, and tears of disappointment, having gotten your hopes up already to be saved from your forced isolation by your caring boyfriend. However, there is really no point in succumbing to weakness now, you tell yourself, swallow another pill and try to get comfortable again, imploring your goddamn body to go to sleep again, since there’s really nothing else you can do, your head pounding with pain. Tormented by the heat ravaging your body and your aching head and limbs, you toss and turn for hours, restless, unable to fall asleep again, even though you can feel your body long for the recovery only a good, deep sleep can provide. There’s just something missing. Something to help you be comfortable and calm. Or rather someone. And you know very well who. However, you can perfectly understand his company’s concerns. Even though you still have trouble accepting the way his management intervenes in Hoseok’s life and personal matters sometimes, you can see how it is necessary. After all, Hoseok is an idol with certain responsibilities towards his fans, the people who take strength from his music, worship and support him. Being your boyfriend must always be of secondary importance. That was the prime rule from the beginning. Hoseok often seems to have more trouble accepting and following those rules than you, though … He somehow always finds ways around them. But not today, you remind yourself. Today he can’t allow himself to give in to his love for you. Not without facing bitter consequences, and he knows you’d never want that. Finally, you give up your efforts to go back to sleep and settle for just lying there in your bed, listening to music while wearing a sleep mask to protect your sensitive eyes against the daylight which is getting dim, slowly turning into dusk. When you hear your phone vibrate on the nightstand, it’s already dark outside.  Blindly feeling for the light switch, you sit up and grab your phone. Squinting against the light, you take off your eye mask and try to make out who or what the display is showing. It turns out it’s Hoseok. Calling you on Facetime. Your heart skips a beat in horror, imagining what you must look like, hair greasy, your face a puffy, tired mess, your room in chaos, used tissues scattered all around your bed … You were not prepared for this. But, you remind yourself, taking deep, calming breaths, this is not the first time during your two year relationship Hoseok sees you like this. And he loves you, as he misses no chance to tell you, so he won’t care. You hope. To no end having tried to fix your hair at least to some extent, you finally take the call. Your face immediately breaks into a grin as soon as Hoseok’s radiant smile shows on screen. „Hey, beautiful“, he greets you, blowing you a kiss. „Did I wake you?“ „Unfortunately not“, you sigh. „Oh?“ You can’t get enough of his adorable confused expression. „What’s that supposed to mean, jagi?“ „I couldn't sleep…“ „Did you miss me that much?“, he teases you. „I guess so …“ „Oh, really!? Poor baby…“, he pouts, brows furrowed. You nod, your cheeks blushing in embarrassment about your involuntary confession. „I really wanted to be with you, y/n …“ „He threw quite a fit earlier when they didn't let him go!“, Jimin interrupts, receiving a potentially deadly glare from Hoseok in return. „It’s true, though, y/n! At first, he wouldn't take no for an answer!“ „Oh, shut it, Jimin! Get out already!“ You can hear Jimin laughing in the background and soon after a door closing. „Finally …“, Hoseok sighs in relief, rolling his eyes. „Always so needy for attention, our Jimin-ah. But now I only want to have eyes and ears for you, baby.“ You smile weakly in response. „It’s so good to see your pretty face. How are you doing? Any better?“ You shrug your shoulders, careful not to make any too abrupt movements in order to avoid another surge of dizziness and headache. „I’m not sure, actually. The fever doesn't seem to go down and my head and eyes are killing me. I just wanna sleep…“ „Aww, my poor baby!“ As he purses his lips once more, you can watch genuine concern spreading across his delicate features. In his eyes, you can see that Hoseok would want nothing more than to take all your pain and suffering away from you and bear it himself instead. Even though you would never let him. „I’m so sorry I can’t be there to take care of you, y/n!“ „It’s alright, Hobi“, you force a reassuring smile onto your dry lips. „I understand. You have to set priorities. I knew that going into this relationship. I don’t hold it against you in the slightest, in case you didn't know that already. I can imagine how badly you wanna be here. It would be the same for me if you were sick. But if the company won’t let you, it can’t be helped. Just seeing you like this is a blessing already.“ With your lips, you form a kiss directed at the camera which Hoseok returns with a bright smile.   „Maybe I can help you sleep, anyways, even from here. My singing usually helps with your insomnia, doesn't it?“ You can feel your heart skip a beat and your cheeks blush at the prospect of your love singing you to sleep, your tense and aching body already beginning to ease. „Could you really do that, Hobi, sing to me?“ You try to tone down your excitement, remembering how tired Hoseok must be. „But … I don’t want you to unnecessarily strain your voice. You already must be sore from practicing all day …“ „It’s nothing, really, y/n. Just lie back, put your phone on your nightstand and relax. I’ll do the rest.“ „Alright …“ Biting your lip to hide an excited, slightly bashful grin, you do as you’re told and settle back into your pillows, placing your phone on your nightstand, leaning against the lamp, so the front camera is still pointed at you. „Good girl“, Hoseok comments in a low voice. „Now, close your eyes.“ Your cheeks turning a soft pink, you follow his instructions, having trouble to keep your eyes closed, though, despite the fact that staring at the bright phone screen was getting rather tiring for your aching head. „Now, deep breaths, in and out. And listen …“ You breathe deeply and slowly, just as requested, while Hoseok starts softly singing, or rather rapping, 24/7=Heaven, serenading you with a slower interpretation of the BTS classic he knows you love so much, his clear voice slowly but surely lulling you to sleep. „… neoraneun haega tteun Sunday, 24 per 7 haru jongil ni saenggangman haetji, gidaehaetdeon cheot deiteu naegeneun waenji, teukbyeolhan nari doeldeutae, I can be a gentleman, Cause I’m your boyfreind, heumheum gomin kkeute, bameul kkolttak saewobeoryeotjiman, achim haejocha kkaeji anheun sigan, haruga wae ireoke gin ji chochimi, gwaenhi mipji, neorang sagwige doen dwibuteo maeil Updoen, Feeling, All night girl, I think about you all night girl …“ When he is sure you’re fast asleep, Hoseok slowly lets his voice trail off, smiling to himself while he fondly watches you sleep for another ten minutes before blowing you a good night kiss, going unseen by the sleeping you, and finally ending the face time call ...

**************************************************************

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed and had a good start to a healthy 2018!! Take care!

[entergamingxp]

DualShockers’ Favorite Games of 2019 — Ryan’s Top 10

December 26, 2019 2:00 PM EST

This year wasn’t short of excellent games that were looking to push boundaries like Death Stranding and more: here’s my top 10 games of 2019.

As 2019 comes to a close, DualShockers and our staff are reflecting on this year’s batch of games and what were their personal highlights within the last year. Unlike the official Game of the Year 2019 awards for DualShockers, there are little-to-no-rules on our individual Top 10 posts. For instance, any game — not just 2019 releases — can be considered.

For me, 2019 really felt like the year of there being a wealth of too many great games to play and just not enough time to get to them all. Even in the last couple of weeks leading up to the release of our Game of the Year Awards and our individual staff lists, I still have a massive pile of games from this year that I want to get through. Especially considering the fact that the first few months of 2020 are already stacked with tons of incredible games on the horizon, this is kind of a problem.

But nonetheless, 2019 proved to be a great year in games and honestly, this was probably the most difficult Top 10 list that I’ve had to put together in quite some time. Of course, with the necessities of keeping this to 10 games, there are always going to be some great games that get left on the sidelines, so I’d at least like to give some honorable mentions out. Metro Exodus especially is one that just missed my list as a bold evolution of a series I enjoy (please play it!), and Astral Chain easily proved to be one of PlatinumGames’ best titles of the generation.

There are still plenty of games that I just haven’t had the chance to play yet but are on my radar to dig into in 2020, namely Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, The Outer Worlds, Outer Wilds (yes, that other “Outer” game), Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, and Gears 5. Hopefully in the new year, a few of these might just make my Top 10 list in 2020, if it isn’t already dominated by the likes of Cyberpunk 2077 and so many other games coming soon.

But anyway, with all of that out of the way, here were my favorite games of 2019:

10. The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening

I had only ever played a brief amount of the original Link’s Awakening when it was first out on the Game Boy, but even within the first 10-15 minutes that I spent playing this year’s Switch remake, it already felt like fond memories of it were coming back to me over 20 years later. As a longtime fan of the Zelda series–and especially coming off recent entries I loved like A Link Between Worlds and Breath of the Wild—Link’s Awakening for me just scratched that itch of a lovable 2D adventure with Link that I could get lost in.

Like Resident Evil 2 before it (which is also on my list), The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening strikes a near perfect balance of honoring a classic entry in a classic series, but with plenty of modern touches (and an adorable visual style) to make it feel fresh. Aside from giving me the chance to finally revisit a Zelda game that I had sorely been missing out on playing previously, Link’s Awakening is in its own right a wonderfully inventive game that harkens back to the classic entries of the series, but presented in a way that feels like it’s just being discovered for the first time.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening.

9. Ape Out

I might just be a sucker for snappy jazz music, but Ape Out came out earlier this year and has stuck with me ever since. Sure, there’s the fact that the game is just manic fun involving a killer ape on the loose, but how can you not forget a game like this when it looks and sounds so stylish?

Taking several elements that I love from Hotline Miami, Ape Out takes its simple but chaotic premise and jazzes it up (literally and metaphorically) with an incredible visual and aural presentation. Having the music and visuals blend so seamlessly with the ape-fueled chaos that you are causing only made me admire the game more, and whether you wind up playing through it on Switch or PC, this is one ape escape that can’t be missed.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Ape Out.

8. Life is Strange 2 

Compared to its predecessor, discussion and conversation around Life is Strange 2 has, strangely, seemed a little muted. Whether that’s because of the game’s sporadic release schedule or not, over the course of the last year Life is Strange 2 has evolved in ways that I admired even more than the series’ first season.

The story of Sean and Daniel Diaz and their trek across America to find a new life with family in Mexico not only gave us a heartfelt depiction of a brotherly bond, but also explored new ground narratively that most other games shy away from. Over the course of its five episodes, Life is Strange 2 delved into politics and contemporary issues of today that games hardly ever get the chance to explore, while also looking at maturity and love, family issues, and heritage, especially from the viewpoints of its protagonists.

Episodic storytelling is hardly a new experience in games, but Life is Strange 2 found a way to give it a deeper, more engaging meaning.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Life is Strange 2: Episode 1.

7. Untitled Goose Game

Oh, that damn goose. That damn, lovable goose. Untitled Goose Game, by design, is a simple game, but even with the few hours that I spent with the game on Switch, I had a smile on my face the entire time that I was playing it.

Is it the deepest game? No, not at all. Is there much of a challenge? Hardly. But all in all, Untitled Goose Game is one of the funniest and most charming games that I played all year, and it’s truly the type of game that I would encourage anyone–gamers or non-gamers alike–to give it a try and become a chaotic goose for a day.

HONK.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Untitled Goose Game.

6. Luigi’s Mansion 3

Well, okay; Untitled Goose Game is one of the most charming games that I’ve played recently, but so is Luigi’s Mansion 3. Maybe even more so.

Luigi’s always been in the shadow of his red-suited brother, but with Luigi’s Mansion 3, he finally has a game that can stand alongside some of Mario’s best adventures. Luigi’s Mansion 3 not only shines as a brilliant and funny adventure starring everyone’s favorite lanky, awkward brother, but also shines as one of the best Switch exclusives of the year. That’s saying something considering the fact that this year has been an absolute banger for the Switch with other games like Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Astral Chain, and more.

Even if the game is technically Luigi’s Hotel 3, Luigi’s Mansion 3 is still a stellar, spooky sequel that will have you smiling all the way through, even if is mostly at Luigi’s expense.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Luigi’s Mansion 3.

5. Resident Evil 2

Despite being a longtime Resident Evil fan–arguably one of my favorites–I’ve had a blindspot in the series by never having gotten the chance to play Resident Evil 2 or 3. Thankfully, in 2019 I was able to finally correct at least one of those problems by playing through the stellar Resident Evil 2 remake, and we won’t have to wait too much longer until it’s Resident Evil 3‘s time to shine next spring.

While I hadn’t played through the original iteration of the game, Resident Evil 2 was still an outstanding horror experience made even scarier by its modern tweaks and refinements. Constantly being pursued by Mr. X not only gave us one of the most terrifying game experiences of the year, but also made for some fantastic memes. But more than that, Resident Evil 2 perfectly blended the series’ classic elements of survival horror with the innovations of its modern entries, making me even more excited to see what is to come from the franchise in the years ahead.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Resident Evil 2.

4. Sayonara Wild Hearts

I played through all of Sayonara Wild Hearts in one sitting on the Switch earlier this year, and it’s safe to say that this game, as the kids say, slaps. Part interactive music video and part rhythm game, Sayonara Wild Hearts is an entirely sensory experience that few other games in could match in 2019.

Dripping with style and easily the best game soundtrack of 2019, Sayonara Wild Hearts is flashy and vibrant for days, but doesn’t let that overwhelm substance. At the heart of its stunning visuals and design, it also manages to craft a brief but impactful story of overcoming heartbreak and discovering your true inner abilities.

From the game’s stunning opening moments, to its wonderful surprise reveal at the end, to its soundtrack that I still listen to on a regular basis, Sayonara Wild Hearts is a game that I just haven’t been able to get out of my head just yet.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Sayonara Wild Hearts.

3. Devil May Cry 5

As a longtime fan of the Devil May Cry series–and someone that thoroughly enjoyed Ninja Theory’s take with DmC–it just felt so damn good to have Dante and the crew back. Devil May Cry 5 was easily one of the games that I was most looking forward to playing in 2019, and it fully delivered on everything that I could have hoped for as a fan and then some.

Aside from finally returning to the series’ mainline story after a decade since DMC4, Devil May Cry 5 came roaring back not only with a kickass story (and incredible soundtrack), but also delivered arguably the series’ best gameplay and combat since DMC3. The series’ stylish action has never looked, well, more stylish, and the amount of ability and input combinations that players have at their disposal in DMC5 is enough to rival nearly any fighting game.

From the introduction of wonderful characters like Nico and V, to a more badass Nero, and finally to Hot Dad Dante, Devil May Cry 5 moonwalked its way into my heart this year, and I can only hope that we’ll see them all kick some demon ass again sooner rather than later.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Devil May Cry 5.

2. Control

Admittedly, Control is the only game on my list that I have not entirely played through to completion, as I’m currently around halfway through the game. It’s been at the top of my backlog for months now, and though I’m just now starting to dig deeper and work my way to the end, Control has already, well, taken control of my thoughts and emotions since I started playing it.

Much like Remedy’s past games, you can easily point to many of the influences that Control blends together, from the obvious references to works like Twin Peaks to the more subtle inspirations behind it. But even without that, Control builds what is easily Remedy’s most defined and well-realized world to date, with the Oldest House serving as an intriguing setting with endless mysteries and secrets to discover.

Combined with Jesse’s powerful abilities and a roster of memorable characters–especially this year’s MVP, Casper Darling–Control is easily the game that I can’t wait to finish the most during my Christmas break and to really discover just what the Oldest House is really hiding.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Control.

1. Death Stranding

During the discussions for our Game of the Year Awards, when Death Stranding came up I explained that there are almost as many reasons (if not more) to debate against the game being GOTY than being for it. Death Stranding is, in a lot of ways, incredibly messy and convoluted. It drags significantly in many places story and gameplay-wise, it saves most of its best story moments for the very beginning and end, and its gameplay can feel finicky and not quite put together completely.

But for all of its faults, Death Stranding is still one of the most impactful game experiences that I’ve had all year. As much as I came into the game expecting the typical amount of Kojima Weirdness, I was also taken away by the story’s surprising thoughtfulness and emotion. The game’s themes of connection and working together was elevated by its online elements that seamlessly integrated “multiplayer” into the experience, and understanding the ways in which this world worked kept me invested throughout the dozens of hours that I spent with Death Stranding.

For all its convolution and exaggeration, Death Stranding also managed to be deep and meditative, and was ultimately the game of 2019 that I just couldn’t stop thinking about after I played it. Like its protagonist Sam Porter Bridges, Death Stranding is always on the risk of toppling over, burdened by the layers of gameplay and story it stacks on top of each other. And yet, the game also manages to keep it together from falling apart entirely, in a profound, surprising, and beautiful way.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Death Stranding.

Check out the rest of the DualShockers staff Top 10 lists and our official Game of the Year Awards:

December 23: DualShockers Game of the Year Awards 2019 December 25: Lou Contaldi, Editor-in-Chief // Logan Moore, Managing Editor December 26: Tomas Franzese, News Editor // Ryan Meitzler, Features Editor  December 27: Mike Long, Community Manager // Scott White, Staff Writer December 28: Chris Compendio, Contributor // Mario Rivera, Video Manager December 29: Scott Meaney, Community Director // Allisa James, Senior Staff Writer // Ben Bayliss, Senior Staff Writer December 30: Cameron Hawkins, Staff Writer // David Gill, Senior Staff Writer // Portia Lightfoot, Contributor December 31: Iyane Agossah, Senior Staff Writer // Michael Ruiz, Senior Staff Writer // Rachael Fiddis, Contributor January 1: Ricky Frech, Senior Staff Writer // Tanner Pierce, Staff Writer

December 26, 2019 2:00 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2019/12/dualshockers-favorite-games-of-2019-ryans-top-10/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dualshockers-favorite-games-of-2019-ryans-top-10

[mogar-magic]

uhhh chap 1? magic

The air on the first day of school was warm and full of the smell of leaves falling from trees. Parents bustled, trying to get their children to school as many of them were still recovering from staying up much too late in the summertime. The weather, while cooler, still wasn't quite sweater weather, so many were still wearing kapris and skirts, coupled with short to no sleeves.

Kari stepped out from her house, more than ready to start her final year of high school at one of the most prestigious academies in town, J.H. Earnest School for the Talented. Getting into the school involved passing multiple rigorous exams, including two written exams, and one practical.

As the title of the school suggested, the school is for those who are talented and excel in the field of their choice. This meant that the school taught a vast number of classes, including a basic high school curriculum. More popular programs included the arts, such as theatre, fine arts, and music. Some other popular programs were in the sciences, maths, and sports.

The hardest programs to get into were the smallest and most precise programs, including law, medical, architecture, and engineering. Many of the students in those programs were already at a university level of studying, and learning at J.H. Earnest nearly guaranteed them a spot in their program of choice.

Kari was a mixture between the sciences and arts, albeit mostly science. Her program of study, something she'd chosen at a young age, was programming. She loved programming with all of her heart, and going to school for it made her enjoy each day. Her favourite things to program were video games and programs for the school. Sometimes she'd joke that the school was capitalizing on their programming students as many of them had designed and implemented their programs into the school's day-to-day operations.

The programming program at J.H. was one of the smaller programs offered, though it was not one of the most competitive. Kari's class consisted of 9 people besides herself, and all 10 of them had grown close over the past 3 years. They also all had promised that upon graduation of school, they would go to the same university together and once graduated from there, open their own programming business. Whether that be for video games or for office programs, they didn't care as long as they had something to code.

Kari felt lucky that her school was located in her city, as many of the people she knew going there all had to live on campus due to being from across the country. Her commute was fairly easy. She took a 10-minute bus ride from her house to the nearest subway station, and then from there took the subway to the city's downtown which was an approximate 30-minute ride. After exiting the subway, she walked for about 5 minutes before arriving at her school's ginormous campus.

She had finally disembarked from her subway ride on her first day of her final year and began to make her way to the exit as she always did when her shoulder collided with someone else's.

"Watch where-!" The person shouted, and Kari spun around to apologize quickly.

"I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, raising both of her hands and smiling apologetically. "I wasn't paying attention."

The person she'd bumped into was a boy, probably around her age or slightly older and was likely on his way to his own school, Kari judged by his uniform. "Who are you?" He said sternly, and suddenly the whole world around the two seemingly strangers seemed to freeze.

"A-again I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to bump into you, please don't let this escalate any further." Kari continued to apologize, thinking the guy wanted her information so he could sue her later, or something silly like that.

The boy grabbed her arm and suddenly the world started moving again. People were bustling by all around them, and a subway quickly departed from the station. "Where do you train? What's your level?"

Kari yanked her arm away, realizing the guy was probably delusional or something, and began backing away from him. "I-I'm a student at J.H.... I have to go now though because I'm going to be late."

"Why would you go there?" The boy spat as though Kari's school was some kind of disgusting academy. He took a step closer to Kari and opened his mouth to speak again when Kari screamed like she was in some sort of horror movie.

People turned to look at Kari, wondering why she was screaming. Many stopped to see the commotion that was going on. Kari then took another deep breath and shouted. "Pervert! Get away from me!"

That was enough to make the boy take off and have multiple grown women grab Kari and help her out of the station. Once everything was taken care of and Kari had been able to make sure the police hadn't been called, she continued on her path to school and was barely on time to her first classes of the day.

Time seemed to go extremely slowly for Kari's first day, and during many parts in the day, she caught herself thinking of her morning encounter at the subway station. There had been something about that boy, the way the world had stopped when they bumped into one another, and she couldn't shake it for the life of her.

By the time she'd gotten home she'd still been unable to shake her feelings of unease, and decided to skip dinner.

Kari was lying on her stomach, web surfing with her phone when her mother entered and sat on the end of her bed. Kari sat up and greeted her politely.

"Is everything okay Kari? First day of the final year kinda rough on you?" Her mother asked kindly.

Kari nodded, turning her phone off and smiling back at her mother. Kari's mother, Maribella, was one of the kindest people she could think of. Her mother had gentle brown eyes, with sweet olive skin, and soft, curly golden-brown hair, traits none of which Kari shared with her. The two often joked that they weren't related, but Kari had seen pictures of her father and knew she resembled him more than her mother.

Her mother and father had divorced before Kari was born, so Kari had never known her father. Maribella had raised Kari by herself, and as Kari had grown older, she knew how difficult that had been for her mother. They had moved a lot when Kari was a child as her mother sometimes hadn't been able to keep a steady job and continuously moved into lower income areas that she could afford. However, when Kari had gotten older, her mother had been able to land an office assistant job in a large law firm and were able to move into a nice home and stay there. That's where they lived now, in a mid-class neighbourhood with low crime rates.

"Kari?" Her mother called out, noticing that she'd begun daydreaming.

"Sorry mom. Yeah, everything went fine!" Kari smiled, hiding the fact that she was still thinking about subway boy.

Maribella cocked her head to the side. "What's bothering you?"

Kari took a deep breath and sighed aloud. "Have you ever felt time stop?"

"What do you mean?" Maribella's eye lids suddenly narrowed as she tried to understand what her daughter was talking about.

Kari shook her head. "Nothing, I just... I bumped into a boy at the subway today and when I turned around to apologize, it felt like time stopped."

Her mother laughed. "Kari, I think that may have been your heart skipping a beat. Was the boy cute? Did you feel flushed and embarrassed afterwards?"

"Ew, mom!" Kari laughed in response. "It wasn't just for a second though. It was long enough for me to say something. I mean, it felt like everything stopped but I wasn't paying attention so who knows."

Maribella shook her head slowly, wrapping one arm around Kari. "I wouldn't worry about it too much, sweetie. It was likely just a feeling. Maybe a warning. Was he creepy?"

"Yeah, he spoke like J.H. was some kind of shitty school and asked what my level was. Whatever that means." Kari recalled slowly.

Suddenly her mother withdrew and stood from her bed. "Best just to forget about it. He sounds like a nutjob. Goodnight honey." And with that, her mother disappeared from her room without another word.

Kari layed back, brows furrowed from her mother's reaction, but ended up shrugging it off and returning to her phone. Within a few minutes after her mother's departure, Kari set her alarms and turned her phone off before heading to sleep.

When Kari woke up, she'd almost completely forgotten about her encounter with subway boy. That was until she got to the subway station later on in her morning commute.

She got on her subway as usual, deciding to stand instead of sitting today. She took a deep breath, leaning against a pole and closing her eyes. She exhaled slowly as the doors closed and the subway began on its path towards downtown.

When she opened her eyes, she saw someone stand to her left and looked to them out of pure human instinct.

It was subway boy.

"You there!" He shouted, loud enough to catch Kari's attention and likely that of the entire car. "A-grade!"

Kari's eyes widened and she looked around only to see that everyone else was absorbed in their devices. She then looked back to subway boy before realizing it had happened again. Time had stopped. That's why no one was looking up at all the commotion going on around them.

Time was frozen, but Kari was not and neither was subway boy. She jumped into a defensive stance and shouted back at him. "Dude! Back off! I said I was sorry for bumping into you yesterday but this is borderline stalking!"

Suddenly time started once more, and this time it caught Kari off-guard. She lurched forward, as the laws of motion took effect on her and she landed on her hands and knees. People looked up now, wondering why a girl had suddenly fallen over in the middle of the isle.

Kari looked up quickly, her black hair flying behind her as she peered to see subway boy. Except he was gone.

Suddenly Kari felt extremely embarrassed and stood up quickly. Some people around her stifled giggles and some rolled their eyes. Kari looked to her knees and noticed that she'd cut them up fairly well and was likely going to pay a visit to one of her medical program friends before class to get bandages.

As her embarrassment began to wear off, the subway stopped at its next station. Kari looked out the windows at the passing subway as more people piled onto her car. The opposing subway disappeared and suddenly the subway boy was standing there again. Kari's eyes widened as she gasped at the sight. She heard the subway's automated voice call out, warning people of the doors readying to close when she decided in an impulsive decision to get off of the subway.

The doors closed and Kari watched the subway boy through the windows of the car she'd just been on. The subway began to slowly take off and create a whirlwind of air that blew Kari's hair and uniform around. Once the subway was gone, she was alone on her side of the platform and subway boy was on the other side.

Kari gripped her school bag tight with both hands before shouting. "Who are you?"

"Why should I tell you?" Subway boy replied curtly.

She took a deep breath. "Because you're following me!"

He laughed. "Pretty sure that you're the one following me now."

Kari stomped her foot. "You know what I mean!" She shouted angrily. "You coaxed me off of the subway, a-and you keep stopping time! Why do you keep stopping time?"

"So, you've noticed my magic then?" He replied with a cocky smile drawn all over his face.

"What are you talking about?" Kari shouted back.

Suddenly, subway boy disappeared and Kari stepped back, wondering where he'd gone. A breath then tickled her ear as someone spoke quietly. "I said, my magic." Subway boy smirked and Kari tripped forwards in shock, further scraping her knees.

She spun around quickly to look at subway boy but when she did, he was gone again. She noticed him again moments later, sitting on a bench a few feet away.

"I can manipulate time, if you haven't guessed already." He said, sitting back and staring up at the ceiling of the subway station.

A subway blew through the station on the other side of the platform while Kari sat in stunned silence, feeling her knees sting from the pain of dragging them on concrete.

Suddenly the world frozen in time again and subway boy stood, walking over to lend a hand to help Kari up. She slapped his hand away and got up on her own, while subway boy stood back and watched.

"My name is Danil Montgomery, if you must ask," he said curtly while sizing Kari up. "You still haven't told me your name though."

"Kari." Kari said angrily in response. "And what's your problem with me Danil? Since yes, I must ask. Why can't you just accept an apology for what it is at face-value instead of fucking with me!"

Danil smirked again. "I'm shocked. You have no idea what's going on, do you?"

Kari didn't want to confirm or deny what Danil said, so she pursed her lips and stayed quiet.

"Listen, Kari. I don't know who you are, but I can tell you what you are." Danil walked away from her, letting time run yet again.

Kari stayed put for a second before huffing and following behind Danil. "What does that mean?" She asked as she followed him up the stairs and to the exit of the subway station now.

"Did you not feel it then? When we bumped into each other yesterday?" Danil asked carefully before looking back to her. Upon noticing her face which had confusion written all over it he sighed and explained. "Your magic, Kari. How have you never noticed it before?"

Kari stopped suddenly. She looked at Danil as she kept climbing the stairs before drawing her head back and bursting out into ugly laughter. "I'm magic? No, that's funny and congrats for being able to do whatever you do, but magic? I am not magic. Magic isn't real."

They reached the top of the stairs finally and when the two stepped out, they were suddenly in a vast and lush green field that had no buildings as far as the eye could see. Only a single rowan tree rested in the distance, and it seemed to be in full bloom. "No Kari, not 'you are' magic, your magic. Y-O-U-R. You have magic inside you."

Kari stopped, holding onto her bag even tighter than before. "Where are we." She said her question as a statement.

"Do you believe in magic now?" He asked slowly.

Kari swung her school bag at him, hitting him directly on his left shoulder. "I said: 'Where are we?', asshole!"

"Ow!" He exclaimed. "We're in a land called Jikyu. It's a land only Madeki can access. Seeing as you're here, it means that you have magic within you, Kari."

"Ma-what now? This place is called Je-Jekky? Whatever." Kari replied swiftly. She turned to go back down the subway steps when she noticed they were gone. She spun back around quickly. "You have to take me back. I'm going to be late for class."

Danil walked towards the sole tree. "Relax, I'll bring you back to your school once we're done talking. It'll be like nothing ever happened."

"Relax!?" Kari exclaimed, rushing to catch up to him. "How am I supposed to relax when suddenly it's like I'm dreaming!" Her eyes then widened, realizing she might be dreaming. "Wait, oh my god am I dreaming?" She then pinched herself and winced at the pain.

"No, this isn't a dream." Danil replied carefully. "Come, let's sit in the shade and I'll explain more."

Slowly, the two walked in silence until they were both sat in the shade of the fully-grown rowan tree. Kari sighed, sitting with her legs in front of her and her hands behind her back so that she was in a sort of lounging position.

"What do you want to know?" Danil asked sweetly.

Kari suddenly felt more relaxed as she looked up at the leaves of the tree. "I have a lot of questions, I just don't know where to start. You said I have magic?"

Danil nodded once. "You're a Madeki, Kari. It means you can wield magic. You're born this way meaning either one or both of your parents are Madeki as well. Though I'm guessing with your potential it's both of your parents. You must have a fairly high level."

Kari looked over to him lazily. "Level? You mentioned that yesterday. I don't get it. Do all Madekis get assigned levels?"

"Yes. From birth, a level is determined between 1 and 10. From there, you can either train and become a more powerful level or lose everything and drop levels as well, though everything is done in decimals and it's unheard of to drop below the level you're born with. Its determined by your parents' levels at the time of birth." Danil explained as best as he could.

Kari sat up, crossing her legs. "What's your level then? And do you think I have a level?"

Danil smiled. "My level is 8.16, but I've trained very hard to get where I am now. I was born at level 3.72." He removed his school uniform's blazer, placing it next to him carefully. "Levels are determined at something called level testing. It's the only way to be assigned a level. I go in for testing fairly often, which is why I know my level. You definitely have a level too, Kari, but I don't know what it might be."

"Guess." Kari spoke suddenly. "You said I have potential or something, right?"

"Immense potential." He confirmed. "But that means I only know that you can grow from where you are now. It doesn't mean I know where you are currently. I couldn't even begin to make a guess."

Kari shut her eyes. "Oh," she said before flopping down on her back.

"I'm still just shocked that you have no idea about any of this," Danil continued on. "It's something extremely hard to hide, especially as a child. Most children of Madeki are reckless with their power, only because they don't know how to properly wield it. If you didn't know then... were you somehow a very calm child who was adopted?"

Kari shook her head. "I live with my mom, and just my mom. She is my biological mother."

"I wonder if she hid your memories then." Danil replied solemnly.

She sat back up. "Could my mom do that?"

Danil nodded to Kari's question. "Yes, if she were a Madeki, it would be fairly easy."

Kari blinked a few times before looking to Danil sharply. "Could you hide mine then? Everything from this morning, please." She sat on her knees now, facing Danil. "If she hid this from me then I trust her. I don't know why she would've but she probably did it for a very good reason."

Danil huffed. "I could, but not in good confidence or faith."

"What does that mean?" Kari asked quickly.

"I don't think I can do a good job of it, and I don't feel comfortable doing it," he said quietly. "So, I have to decline your request. I apologize, Kari."

Kari shook her head. "No, no. It's okay. I just... I can't wrap my head around it just yet. Magic. Madekis. Ji-whatever this place is called. It's a lot for me to take in."

"Do you want to try using it?" Danil offered slowly, trying to comfort her as best as he could. He reached his hands out and motioned for Kari to put her hands on his.

Kari nodded, placing her hands palm-up into his hands. "Close your eyes," he instructed, and Kari did as such. "Now think of a sparkle. Start off small but then think of those sparklers people light off in the summer and then spin around in the night sky."

Slowly, a sparkle appeared in the palms of Kari's hands and Danil smiled, taking his hands away. "Open your eyes Kari."

When Kari did so, she blinked a few times before seeing the sparkles in her hands. Her eyes widened with excitement and she could suddenly feel her heart pounding. A smile drew on her face as she looked to Danil happily. He smiled back at her before folding her fingers back over her palms, snuffing out the sparkles she'd created.

"You have to go now." Danil said softly. Kari nodded, and when she blinked, she was suddenly in the subway station where she'd first met Danil. The subway she usually rode was just disembarking now and people were hustling to get off. Kari joined in on this crowd, lifting her bag onto her shoulder and continuing to school.

Every chance that Kari had a moment in private to herself, she would close her eyes and create a few sparkles in the palm of her hand. She continued to do it to remind herself of what she'd seen. To keep her grounded even though her reality was suddenly changing at quick pace.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

We Need To Talk About Armie Hammer's Bonkers Billy Graham Movie

https://fashion-trendin.com/we-need-to-talk-about-armie-hammers-bonkers-billy-graham-movie/

We Need To Talk About Armie Hammer's Bonkers Billy Graham Movie

Armie Hammer is enjoying a nice little career renaissance, one that has earned him a ticket to Sunday’s Oscars, where 2017’s finest movie, “Call Me by Your Name,” will compete for Best Picture. After wading through flops like “The Lone Ranger” and “The Birth of a Nation,” Hammer is once again beloved. In the coming months, he’ll appear in the jocular Sundance highlight “Sorry to Bother You” and a Ruth Bader Ginsburg biopic that’s sure to be part of next year’s awards conversation.

Countless profiles have already traced Hammer’s roots as the aristocratic great-grandson of an oil magnate, and almost all of them herald 2010’s “The Social Network,” in which he pulled double duty playing twin Olympic athletes suing Mark Zuckerberg, as the actor’s illustrious Hollywood breakthrough.

Sure. “The Social Network” was Hammer’s breakthrough, and it’s certainly the movie that made him famous. But most profiles overlook the few projects that came before it, particularly one that caught my eye the other day: “Billy: The Early Years,” a biopic in which Hammer plays the one and only Billy Graham, who died last month at the age of 99.

Yep, Sir Armie ― the charming hunk who smooched Leo DiCaprio in “J. Edgar” and took a bite out of Timothée Chalamet’s semen-stained peach in “Call Me by Your Name” ― once portrayed America’s most famous evangelist, a Southern-fried live wire who popularized tent revivals, became the youngest college president in U.S. history, counseled actual presidents in the White House, called homosexuality “a sinister form of perversion” and urged his following to vote for Donald Trump despite the crude “Access Hollywood” tape that leaked during the 2016 campaign. 

But let’s not get sidetracked by Graham’s politics when we have a movie so deliciously bonkers to dissect.

“Billy: The Early Years” is a true wonder of the world, far more vapid and unskilled than your average inspirational biopic. Distributed by Rocky Mountain Pictures, a conservative company that would later release “Atlas Shrugged: Part I” and Dinesh D’Souza’s “2016: Obama’s America,” it opened Oct. 10, 2008, on 282 screens ― a decent number for a limited release ― and collected all of $347,328 at the box office.

Further clogging this enigma, “Billy” is directed by Robby Benson, a minor ’70s heartthrob who lost out on the part of Luke Skywalker, voiced the Beast in Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast” and helmed a handful of “Friends” and “Ellen” episodes.

According to a Los Angeles Times report from 2008, “Billy” cost $3.6 million ― more than the budgets of “Saw” and “Moonlight” combined. The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association declined to endorse the film, calling it “greatly embellished,” even though it’s a saccharine portrait that paints Graham in an wholesome, exceedingly favorable light.

“They wanted to make a movie about someone whose face could be chiseled into a mountain,” Benson said, referring to the producers, who’d recruited him for the job. “I said, ‘Let’s make it fun and funny.’”

Well, it’s fun and funny, all right. It’s also a fascinating case study of an actor making an odd career choice on the pathway to fame. Let’s recap the film’s highlights.

‘Billy: The Early Years’: An Incredibly Specific Plot Summary 

Following a Brooks & Dunn cover of Johnny Cash’s “Over the Next Hill (We’ll Be Home),” the movie opens with a framing device. Martin Landau ― yep, Oscar-winning Martin Landau ― plays the elderly, hospice-ridden Charles Templeton, Graham’s evangelist BFF who later denounced Christianity.

He’s giving an interview to a documentary crew, though said documentary’s only purpose in the film is to provide Templeton interludes that fade out to reveal Graham-centric flashbacks. Every shot in Landau’s hospital room is overlit like a second-rate sitcom.

The first flashback cue: “Billy’s life was like a fairy tale. […] Billy grew up in a Norman Rockwell painting.” The stage has been set. We transition to Charlotte, North Carolina.

As it turns out, all Billy Graham really wanted to do was play baseball! Armie Hammer ― or someone who looks like him; we only see his backside ― hits a ball into a starry night sky in slow motion.

Six minutes in, here comes the Armie we know and love, dressed in a trim baseball uniform and delivering flowers to his mama.

As we learn, 16-year-old Billy didn’t have much of a thing for religion, probably because of his devout, uncaring father. For example, during a prayer at the dinner table, the little rebel sneaks a bite of food. (Maybe this is a good time to note that it’s the Great Depression? Multiple characters mention it, but the movie doesn’t delve into many of the era’s social dynamics.) 

Billy swears he’ll never become a preacher (or an undertaker, which we can’t fault him for). In his eyes, evangelists are “money-grubbing” hacks, period.

Blissfully, “Billy: The Early Years” has no time to waste. Immediately after he condemns preacher-hood, a farmhand invites Billy to attend to a tent revival. For the uninitiated, that’s an outdoor worship service where a man in a boxy suit shrieks about eternal damnation. There, the reverend addresses Billy directly, leading to the quickest change of heart ever known to changes of heart. Time to go to Bible school! 

But forget all that altar-call stuff. The movie gets good ― real good ― in the next scene, when Armie dons overalls and tends to farm work like something out of a fetish fantasy. Luckily, his mama approves of Bible college! (Told you it was the quickest about-face.)

Oh, and “Billy: The Early Years” Armie is just as handsome as “Call Me by Your Name” Armie, but he’s slightly less sculpted, giving him a plantation-twink vibe. He was 22 when the movie came out, and more young boys would have come out too, had they seen it. (Little did we know the peach-related intrigue that awaited us.)

The movie returns to Landau for some fodder on Templeton’s less dogmatic religious conversion. Boring.

Meanwhile, Billy has begun selling hairbrushes door to door, bringing his chewy Southern cadence and calculated charm to one home after the next. Knock on my door, Billy!

Here he is cheesing at evangelism-school orientation. Look at those blue eyes shimmer.

When seminary begins, Billy’s roommate tells him preaching is no different than selling brushes. Voila! It all makes sense now. But phooey on that one girl in class who rejects his advances. “I just don’t think you’re going to amount to much,” she says, after showing up at a dance with another boy despite having told Billy she’d go with him. Ouch. What a fool.

As for Billy’s first sermon, well, I’m not sure what we’re meant to make of it. Amid a staggeringly earnest story, the scene jolts into a surreal whimsy that’s just plain confusing. Billy stands at the lectern nervously, fiddling with his notes and observing a clock’s defeating tick.

Then, as if a lightning bolt has struck him, he starts shouting to the room in nonsensical fragments (“And what about David and Moses?!”) as the camera zooms toward him feverishly. Zany hoedown music plays as he yaks. At first it seems like a fantasy sequence, something taking place in his head. A homily on LSD, if you will.

But it’s all too real. I think?

The congregation’s reaction shots ― also captured via quick, tilted zooms ― seal the deal. A diamond in the extreme rough, that Billy.

Now it’s back to his romantic life. He’s crushing on the girl who will become his wife, Ruth Bell (played by Stefanie Butler). After he passes her a note in the school library and ignites their courtship, Billy and Ruth start romancin’ it up. Naturally, it’s a sexless arrangement, as far as we see it, until children enter the picture. Gotta stay pure.

But remember how baseball was once the only thing Billy wanted to do? Well, apparently he’s no good at it anymore. Ruth knows how to throw a ball, but Billy does not know how to catch it without hurting his cute little hand. (Or his big hand. Armie Hammer is 6-foot-5!)

He squeals in pain every time. Does it really hurt that much to catch a baseball? (This is a real question. I wouldn’t know.)

Billy then has the dreamiest split-screen phone call with his mother to proclaim his love.

One quick serious note: Lindsay Wagner, the “Bionic Woman” and “Six Million Dollar Man” actress who portrays Billy’s mother, is actually rather lovely in this movie. She has a delicate way of making silly dialogue seem authentic. Bravo, Lindsay Wagner. Someone give her a real role.

OK, so we’re a little more than halfway through this 85-minute gem when, for some reason, Billy starts preaching to anyone who will listen. Literally. I guess that’s what evangelizing means? Sort of? Cut to him standing outside some dilapidated sheriff’s office wearing this oddly patterned suit and converting a nonbeliever in a matter of seconds. And to think how hopeless he was the last time we saw him orate.

Meanwhile, Martin Landau is still stuck in that hospice bed, recounting his own evangelism days and his friendship with Billy, who is now preaching to larger and larger crowds.

In the best moment so far (other than the overalls), we get this cool shot of Landau imagining his younger self, played by Kristoffer Polaha.

Polaha’s Templeton is suddenly everywhere in Billy’s life, including at the birth of his first daughter. But Charles’ faith is shaken by the horrors of World War II ― which, sure, fair. Makes sense. Nazis are horrific.

Things keep on zipping, and after a title card informs us that two years have passed, Billy goes from farmland sermonizing to being president of Northwestern Bible College in Minneapolis at the age of 29. He doesn’t want to be one of those money-grubbing preachers he slammed at the start of the movie, so he tells his staff to make sure he’s “accountable for every penny collected” and can avoid whatever might precipitate the “downfall of an evangelist.” 

Here’s when things get Mike Pence-ish. In order to avoid a scandal, Billy decrees that “no man is to be in a room alone with a woman other than his wife.” It’s the most sexually explicit moment yet, other than the overalls. (But just wait.)

Charles’ crisis of faith intensifies as the war rages on. He brings his dilemma to Billy. How can God leave Hitler to run amok? How can the Almighty allow such travesties to blanket the globe? 

They sit together on a couch, seemingly on the precipice of a big ol’ smooch. Little did Armie know, he was auditioning for “Call Me by Your Name” almost a decade too soon. 

Charles abandons the pulpit, but Billy keeps praying nonetheless. When he next sees his friend, it’s the summer of 1949, four years after the end of World War II. Charles has doubled down on his agnosticism, and Billy, now 31, has doubled down on his convictions.

More importantly, they’ve both doubled down on their sexual tension. This is presumably unintentional, but let’s ignore that boring detail and accept the scene at face value.

Now, with less than 12 minutes remaining, a seed of doubt has been planted in Billy.

He has a dark night of the soul ― literally. In the next scene, he teleports like a ghost, appearing in the middle of the woods somewhere. Now we know where that $3.6 million went: The CGI is lit. 

It’s his come-to-Jesus moment. He is coming to Jesus to beg for proof of the Bible’s veracity. “Where are you?” he yells, after which a montage of moments from his still-young life flash by. That’s it! Mystery solved! It only took recalling his past to move on with his future.

“I hear you, Lord,” he says, again proving that Billy Graham had the hastiest religious conversion ever known to preachers whose net worth totals $25 million.

And now, everything’s hunky-dory. Billy’s “early years” are coming to an end, and so is the movie. Suddenly, he’s preaching about his friend Charles in his own tent revivals and telling the masses that Jesus “came from that part of the world which touches Europe and Africa and Asia” ― aka the Middle East ― and “probably had brown skin.”

Considering how much some fundamentalists love White Jesus, this is maybe sort of a progressive idea to include in this otherwise ginger movie? 

Anyway, apparently this is what it looks like to stand in front of a sky. (Note: The sky is gray at the start of this concluding sermon, but grows progressively bluer as Billy continues. It’s a metaphor!)

And the crowd! What a mighty crowd! He made it though the wilderness! (Yeah right.)

That’s the final shot. The end credits roll to the sounds of Michael W. Smith’s “Amazing Love.”

Here’s what we learned about Billy Graham from “Billy: The Early Years”: He’s a walking version of the hymn “Old-Time Religion,” blessed with a pleasant working-class upbringing and a squeaky-clean respectability but cursed by a sex appeal he can’t take advantage of and what seems to be no desire to visit his old friend, who is stuck in hospice giving interviews about Billy’s life.

You should watch this movie. It’s a masterwork to behold. 

A representative for Armie Hammer did not respond to our request for comment.

[alexanderking]

Another top 20 Albums of 2016

So I didn’t post any of my old lists up here but...

...’Another late list of last years albums for yer! I’m going strictly with albums this year... 

“Have I left anything out?”- Albums et al of 2015: 

Nicholas Payton- Letters: Nicholas Payton follows up ‘Numbers’ with ‘Letters’; music written and played for each letter in the alphabet. While this didn’t blow me away, there were some nice pieces on here. I really like ‘B’, ‘I’ and ‘X for Patrice Rushen’

Native Dancer- EP Vol. 1: This is a name I see on the live circuit a fair bit. I initially neglected going to their shows (surprise, surprise), but they appeared at the Jazz Re:Fest last July and delivered some truly impressive music; I was kicking myself for about a minute for not listening to their stuff earlier... 

...Errr...I can’t think of any more...please feel free to make suggestions here...

...2016:

20) Ab-Soul- Do What Thou Wilt.:

I did like this slightly more than ‘These Days...’. I find this album as Ab-Soul sharing various thoughts and ideas without fully committing to them, although there is a fair bit of questioning gender roles on here. My favourites include ‘Huey Knew THEN’, ‘INvocation’, ‘Beat the Case’ and the vulnerable ‘Evil Genius’.

Random Note: If Black Hippy were the TMNT, I reckon Soul would be Mikey... 

19) Josef Leimberg- Astral Progressions:

I got on to this one pretty late; I came across this on Bandcamp’s top 100 list. Some nice melodies and some strong playing on here. Unfortunately the song that caused me to buy this album (‘Interstellar Universe’) is by far the best musically for me. ‘As I Think of You’ and ‘Between Us 2′ are pretty good runners up...  

18) Derrick Hodge- The Second:

Derrick Hodge gives us another solo album with ‘The Second’. This album has elements of Hip-Hop, Blues, a bit of Folk, Jazz (obviously), Soul and a strong element of the modal sound present in a lot of electronic influenced music (I’m referring to artists like ‘Floating Points’, ‘Kelsey Lu’, ‘Little Dragon’, and so on...). The last quarter of this project is the strongest part for me. Shouts to Freda for bringing this to my attention...

17) Danny Brown- Atrocity Exhibition:

‘Some interesting experimental Hip-Hop to be found on this project. The subject matter comes across samey at first, but a few listens and some research into Danny Brown has me concluding that this album is be a reflection of his drug fuelled days...I could be wrong...

16) Terrace Martin- Velvet Portraits:

I felt that the really stand out tracks are blocked out by a fair bit of filler. However, the strong pieces are those that I’ve gone back to quite often over the year. ‘Favourites are ‘A Tribe Called West’ and ‘Think of You’...

15) ScHoolboy Q- Blank Face LP:

I initially ignored this album (shock horror -_-), but my friend Dan had tweeted about how good this album was. It encouraged me to check it out: I wasn’t disappointed. ‘Definitely the strongest offering from TDE last year. ‘Kno’ ya Wrong’ and ‘Ride Out’ (one of Sounwaves hardest beats in a while) are standouts.

Random Note: If Black Hippy were the TMNT, I reckon Quincy would be Raph.

Another Random Note: This thought trail is based on my tendency to associate Hip-Hop artists (usually groups) with colours, and loosely based on the model sheet ‘The Line Animation’ did for their vine of the TMNT. If on the off chance’ you’re curious...: 

http://thelineanimation.tumblr.com/post/153342691923/turtle-assemble-progression-reel-and-model-sheets

...But I digress...

14) Incognito- In Search of Better Days:

Although by now I feel pretty clued up on what to expect from this band sonically, I ended up really enjoying this project more than recent offerings; their best since ‘Tales From The Beach’, although feature spots from bassist Stuart Zender, drummer Richard Spaven, and vocalist Vula Malinga, help in revitalising their sound...

13) Collective Peace- Introducing Collective Peace:

While I didn’t find much new in the Neo soul sound Collective Peace bring, I did find myself coming back to this album quite a lot. This album makes it this far up the list on the strength of ‘Sun Chaser’. ‘Let the Music Play’ and ‘Track IV’ do really well on a clear day also... 

12) Aisling Iris- Night Time Moves:

‘Another recommendation from Miss Laidlaw; She shared this album on twitter. I clicked the link and: I always forget how much I like Drew Horley’s production until I hear it again. Some strong melodies and Aisling Iris touches on love, loneliness, lust, being true to your dreams and the current political climate over these 13 tracks...

11) David Bowie- ★:

Over the past year and a half, I’ve done slightly better at taking recommendations from friends (even though I discover most things through someone else o_O). During the wake of Bowie’s passing, this album had received a lot of kudos and so on it went. I found myself sucked into the melodies and some of the soundscapes, particularly ‘Girl Loves Me’ and the title track. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised as Bowie was always quite forward thinking in his approach to musical trends...   

10) Nicholas Payton- Textures:

It’s no secret that I find Nicholas Payton- The Blogger quite cantankerous and unnecessarily miserable when speaking on music (there were quite a few points I agreed with in that ‘Black Messiah’ blog, but the delivery... *sigh*). The Musician however, has some pretty good ideas. This album was composed based on the textures an artist painted. Musically I can hear Odd Future (‘Hard’) or Terence Brown (‘Fuzzy’/‘Sticky’) creating something like this...

9) Solange- A Seat at the Table:

‘Don’t Touch My Hair’ was doing the rounds and so, having enjoyed ‘Solo Star’ (yep. That long ago...), I gave this a listen. I adore the subject matter along with the honesty to keep in mind “Not everyday ‘woke’, somedays take it easy”. I found a lot to enjoy on this project...

8) Claffy- Claffy:

Alexander Claffy presents us the stages of going through a break up; from travelling alone once more, to removing his things from his exe’s flat, to acceptance...only to lament once more with my favourite break-up track this year, ‘Epilogue’...

7) Robert Glasper Experiment- ArtScience:

While this band has been quite consistent with their output this year, I enjoyed this album the most. ‘My favourite works from the Experiment since ‘Festival’, and so great to see the whole group (particularly Casey) even more involved in writing the music. ‘No One Like You’ is my go to track on here.

Random Note: ‘You’ is used a lot in the track listing...Is ‘You’ the new ‘Love’?...

6) A Tribe Called Quest- “We Got It From Here...Thank You 4 Your Service”:

I pretty much agree with ‘The Guardian’s’ review of this album: “...loses focus in the last third, but the first two takes no prisoners lyrically or musically!..”. Nairobi comes correct with his bars on ‘The Space Program’. ‘Solid Wall of Sound’ and ‘Dis Generation...’ has the tightest super rapping I’ve heard since ‘Move yer Self’ by the Procussions. ‘Kids...’ is my favourite on here with tight solo verse followed by tight cyphering.

Side Note: The liner notes are definitely worth a read...

5) Corinne Bailey Rae- The Heart Speaks In Whispers:

‘Another artist I ignored while she was doing the touring circuit last spring. Hearing that she worked quite a bit with the Strother sisters (KING) caused me to check this album out. ‘Green Aphrodisiac’ was on repeat (I was relieved to find that this song wasn’t about smoking weed). ‘Loved the vulnerability in ‘Hey, I won’t Break Your Heart’, the synths in ‘Taken By Dreams’ and the echoey acoustics of ‘Night’.

Side Note: I found that this album feels more complete without the bonus tracks...

4) Kev Choice- 88 Steps to Eternity:

This musician/emcee has been pretty relentless with his output since ‘Oakland Riviera’ in 2014. I was stoked to hear that Kev was releasing an instrumental album and was impressed with what I heard. This album takes from Jazz, Soul, Hip-Hop and Trap. I found the A-Side was superior to the B-Side... 

3) KING- We Are KING:

‘We Are KING’ has been five years in the making. Despite hearing bits and bobs over the wait, I thoroughly enjoyed the complete product. My favourites include the glistening ‘The Right One’ and ‘Red Eye’, although ‘Supernatural’ and ‘The Story’ feel very much enhanced with their introductory movements. This was another project where I found the A-Side more compelling than the B-Side...

2) Soweto Kinch- Nonagram:

Soweto returns with a 96 minute journey of instrumentals and some rap tracks that attempts to convey ideas around the nine sided Nonagram. While I couldn’t quite figure that out, I have found myself replaying this album often too. Many of the instrumental pieces bring images of being at the start of some kind of challenge, whether it be building something, solving an equation, or just living...Had I not got this in November, I’m sure that ‘Soul Bearings’ would’ve been my most played track this year... 

1) 

Esperanza Spalding- Emily’s D+Evolution:

After this album’s release in March, I heard very little discussion about this project from other outlets. I myself however revisited this project throughout the year. ‘Emily’s D+Evolution’ shows a somewhat departure to the soft, sunniness we got from ‘Radio Music Society’, to deliver a Jazz/Rock fusion LP with the straight ahead attitude of a pop record. My favourite is ‘Noble Nobles’; this reminds me of something Thundercat might write. A very close second goes to ‘Ebony and Ivy’; ‘bonus points for the fact that my nieces enjoy this song too.

Random Note: This was another project in which I found it felt more complete without the bonus tracks...

Honorable Mentions: I’m only going for 10 this year; my previous lists have seen the honourable mentions list be longer than the top 20 list itself...

Yussef Kamaal- Black Focus:

‘An electronic/broken affair. The standouts are pretty great but I enjoyed the above more...

Anderson. Paak- Malibu:

...I’m sorry to say I have yet to fully get Anderson. Paak. There were definitely some strong pieces on this album, but I wasn’t that enticed by the rest...His live performance was brilliant though...

Chance The Rapper- Colouring Book:

This deserves a mention fully on innovation and general positivity musically.  This wasn’t something I revisited that much however...

Kanye West- The Life of Pablo:

This album is effectively a culmination of all of Kanye’s stages so far. There’s an element from each earlier album on here. While I’m not feeling all of this album I cannot deny Kanye’s ideas...

Isaiah Rashad- The Sun’s Tirade:

This album goes from hip-hop to trap influenced hip-hop...or is it hip-hop influenced trap?...I found the latter more intriguing, although ‘Bday’ gets a shout... 

Hiromi- Spark:

The Hiromi Trio project grace us with another project with sounds ranging from ferocious to gentle and everything in between. I just enjoyed the above more...

Chantae Cann- Journey to Golden:

There some lovely melodies and vocals on here. I felt like the 11 tracks are actually more like 6 or 7 pieces of music and so I felt a little cheated...

Music Soulchild- Life on Earth:

As far as standard RnB goes, there’s a fair bit to like on this album. I’m really feeling the head nod factor of ‘Heart Away’. I was a bit confused with the message in ‘The Girl’. I still enjoy that track as a slow jam though...

Kendrick Lamar- Untitled. Unmastered.:

Kendrick gives us what is effectively an anthology project containing demos from the ‘Butterfly’ sessions. Untitled’s 1-3, 5, 6 and the first half of 7 are strong. I found ‘Untitled 08′ paled in comparison to the live performance. I haven’t found myself returning to this that much...  

Random Note: If Black Hippy were the TMNT, I reckon Kendrick would be Donnie (Be honest. Who thought I was going to say Leo?)

Childish Gambino- “Awaken, My Love!”:

My relationship with funk is flaky at best. To illustrate the point, the standouts for me are ‘Riot’ and the reflective ‘Stand Tall’...