#letters sent from stardust avenue

[stardustavenue]

bring back chunky technology with lots of buttons. i want a bunch of different devices that only do one thing. i want to press buttons!!!

[stardustavenue]

oh to be kirby. just a little pink ball with cool red shoes and little arms. sometimes i wear a nightcap and sleep. sometimes i turn into yarn. sometimes i fight bad guys. but all the time i am cute

[stardustavenue]

i’m 23, but i still feel like the 14 year old stuck in his room pretending to be someone else because i didn’t know how to be me. it feels like i’m still searching for something, but i don’t know what. i think i’ll always be looking.

back then, i thought i wasn’t too young to be what i wanted. now i think i’m too old. when is it going to be my turn? why haven’t i gotten one yet? everyone can be who they want, but i can’t. i don’t get to be that. what am i doing wrong? am i not trying hard enough? i don’t even see the point in trying at all. maybe i never have. maybe that’s why i can’t find out who i am and stuck with it, like everyone else does.

i still pretend to live other lives in the hopes that it will make me feel better. the escapism helps most of the time, but other times it leaves me feeling empty.

why can’t i be the person in my head?

[stardustavenue]

“stardust. are you there? can you hear me?”

…

“supernova.”

“thank god you answered. i thought i lost you.”

“supernova. it’s beautiful out here.”

“i know. but it’s not where you belong.”

“then why are all the stars calling my name?”

“that’s what they do. you have to ignore them. you don’t belong there. they’re tricking you.”

…

“supernova, i’m not coming back.”

…

“i know.”

[stardustavenue]

i want to be so many people at once. i want to do so many things, have a million hobbies, dabble in everything. i want to be a jack of all trades. i want to experience it all.

i want to fly among stars and touch the bottom of the ocean. i want to travel to every part of the earth. i want to swim in water that no one has come out of alive. i want to visit places that i have only seen in movies. i want to be someone who doesn’t get excited about this stuff because i’ve already done it all, and i want to be someone who feels like it’s their first day on earth because they haven’t done anything.

i want to master professions i have never studied. i want to meet people and i want them to know my name. i want no one to recognize my face. i want to live alone and i want to live in a house with everyone. i want to be someone and i want to be nothing.

i want to live a thousand lives, but i can’t even live one.

[stardustavenue]

i feel like the world is crushing me. i cant hold it up by myself anymore; i’m not strong enough.

[stardustavenue]

raining hard. i want i could go out and play in it. give my body a good, cold soak. but then i’d have to come back inside and clean up. such a hassle.

[stardustavenue]

all the flowery language in the world doesn’t save me from the fact that i never say the right things.

[stardustavenue]

it’s me and my ipod mini 2nd generation (it died after playing three songs) against the world