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th3maestr0 · 1 year

Text

The Magazine

Liam Gallagher, brash, rude and downright unpleasant, but that’s not how you see him, or how he acted towards you. You’re hooked on the person he was when he was with you, but suddenly you find out you’re not the only person who gets to see him like that, it’s shattering.

Word count: 8274

He pushed you back against the wall, making a huff of air fly from your lungs, you barely had the time to breathe again before his lips were pressed against yours, hot and frustrated.

His hands were on either side of your shoulders, pressed against the wall, practically cornering you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and filed your hands into his hair, short, shaggy but soft, pushing his head further against yours.

You gasped as he bit your bottom lip, which allowed him to quickly slot his tongue into your mouth, you could taste the alcohol on his breath reminding you that this wasn't pure infatuation, he was sloshed out of his mind.

He pressed his hip's against yours and tilted his head deepen the kiss, if that was even possible at this point.

He pulled away and you gasped for air, staring straight down at you with lidded eyes that screamed lust. His cheeks were red and lips puffy and slightly parted.

"Oh dear god..." his spoke lowly, his voice rumbling. You gave him a questioning look as he dragged his eyes over your features, you were absolutely sure you looked a mess just as much as he did.

He lifted a hand to your face, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "God you're beautiful." He spoke lowly.

You felt you face heat up, it was definitely red, it felt hot. You watched him chuckle at your expression, you gave him a giddy smile.

He moved a hand to the back of your neck before pressing hungry kisses to your jawline, and down to your neck which he began nipping lightly and sucking at. You dropped your shoulders and tilted your head in a gasp, subconsciously allowing him a better access to your neck.

Butterflies flew in your stomach, your brain screamed He's drunk he doesn't mean this. But your heart beat quickened and your breathing grew short. The feeling was electric, it felt agonising good.

After he presumed he left an appropriate amount of marks on your neck he pulled back and pushed you back against the wall, slowly. He admired his work for a moment lifting a finger to drag over the bruises, tracing an L shape into your skin over them.

"You're mine." He said, looking at you with deep eyes his eyelids hovering as if they were about to close, his face close to yours. "Say it."

You felt your stomach do a flip and your brain short circuit, did he have any clue what he was asking you to say?

"Say it." He commanded again, pushing back into as if he was trying to have as much of you touching him as possible.

"I'm-" your voice got caught for a moment. "I'm yours Liam." You watched him smile, before he glued his lips to yours once again.

***

You felt your stomach churn as you stared at the magazine that sat on the front door step of your apartment, dropped off with the mail of course. You grimaced when you saw his face boldly on the cover, his arm around some blonde girl.

You picked it up with the rest of your mail and held it at your side as you turned and pushed the door open to go inside.

You discarded the mail on a the coffee table in front of your tv, it was none of your interest now that you'd spotted Liam on the front page of a music magazine, which seemed to be dabbling in gossip which you internally groaned at. You looked over the front cover as you sat down on your couch.

You didn't need to read anything, you could tell exactly what was going on in this picture. It was a paparazzi photo of Liam and this girl walking, bold red text beneath it to grab attention, 'Liam Gallagher's new girl friend!?' It almost made you laugh, it also made you want to hurl. You couldn't stomach it as an undeniable pain replaced the amusement on your face.

Confusion, jealousy, and betrayal pierced your heart, it felt sharp. Your stomach felt empty, you knew your face was pale and you felt your hands shake with the magazine clenched between them. You thought he liked you, really liked you.

You'd met him months ago, in September of the previous year, at a festival after your own band played, smaller than Oasis of course but enough to allow you to be a known person in the music industry. He walked right up to you, no shame at all and introduced himself, you knew he had a reputation of being brash and to put it simply, mean, you've seen the things he's said about rivalling bands.

But that knowledge seemed to be lost completely as he used his charms on you, you couldn't help but play along with him, using your wits to have him wrapped around your finger. You fell for him slowly, yet deeply through the months. He'd call you at random times in the night to ask about your day as if he really cared, relentlessly flirt in any situation where you'd see each other out in public wether a festival, pub or an interview. A few times you even ended up sat on a balcony together at parties, just talking about anything that came to your minds. On the count down on New Years you kissed him at some party, away in a garden, as if you were the only two people in the world. He'd whisper sweet nothings to you as if he really meant it, and you knew now that obviously he didn't.

You were mad, you felt used, played, you seriously believed the things he said to you, hell the things he made you say to him. You felt hot with anger, or maybe it was the summer air.

Your eyes welled with tears, which you quickly wiped off with the neck of your tee, but they kept pouring out of your eyes. You let out a breathless sob but bit it back.

In one quick and angry motion you ripped the front cover of the magazine off of it, and crumbled it, fuelling the pain that had you in this state. You threw it across the room as if it would hurt him, you watched it hit a wall and then tumble onto the floor with a crunch.

You crawled to the end of the couch, where your phone sat on a table, you picked up your phone and paused for a moment, you were considering calling his number, to scream and yell at him over the phone but you shamefully swallowed your dignity and tapped in the number of one of your closest friends. A friend who knew everything about you and Liam, because you'd never stop telling her.

The phone rang a few times as you bit at your nails before you finally heard the click of the phone being picked up.

"Justine." You sighed out as you turned to lay on your couch.

She hummed at your pained tone, "You saw the magazine." She stated, knowingly.

You pulled your shirts neck up to up to wipe tears off your face, "I'm a mess."

You heard the phone brush against her hair as she stood up, cupping her hand around the speaker to mumble something to someone, you were curious but ignored it, it was the least of your troubles.

"I was waiting for you to call me, I saw it a few hours ago." Justine spoke empathetic, her boots clicking in the background.

"I just saw it..." you stared at the crumbled up ball of paper in the corner of the room. "Now it's ripped in the corner of my living room, might have to throw some darts at it."

Justine laughed, "There's a few things we can do, deface it, burn it, or both and leave it on his door step."

You chuckled against your tears that continued to spill from your eyes, she could probably tell in the tone of your voice that you were currently crying, but chose to ignore it.

"I don't even want to think about him." You stated, before continuing ironically, "I just don't understand, I thought he really liked me.

"Heartbreak is painful Y/N, but hey at least you never dated him."

"We practically were, you saw the way we were to each other." You sighed dragging a hand over your face.

Justine hummed in acknowledgement, "Yeah you were cute together."

"Not helping, Tina." You stated, you heard her sigh at the nickname.

"But you know damn well the way he acted to other people, I could never see him being romantic." Justine remarked.

You bit on your nail for a moment, the call going silent, she knew you were in thought. The only thing you could mutter out was, "I hate him."

Justine laughed, "Welcome back to the land of the loveless Y/N."

"I'm going to write a song about this." You half heartedly joked, because you knew you definitely were.

***

You rushed off stage, laughing and throwing high-fives around to your band mates. They were sweaty and smelled disgusting, but you gave big hugs anyway.

"That was great guys!" You called as you watched them hurriedly pack their instruments, your drummer just tossing his sticks in his bag and walking off, he was obviously antsy to get some alcohol in his blood and you didn't blame him.

Here you are, at a big outdoor summer festival in London in July, you assumed there were hundreds if not thousands of people out there. You felt exhilarated that those people knew your music, enough to cheer when you walked out on stage and to sing along with you.

Luckily enough you had absolutely killed it, the energy from the crowd was amazing. You smiled around at the roadies that ran around the backstage area, making sure everything was perfect.

Justine walked from a backstage wing, a big smile on her face. "Y/N! That was brilliant!" She threw her arms around you which you immediately reciprocated.

Justine's band, Elastica, had played right before yours, she stayed behind and waiting for you instead of going to get hammered, you appreciated it.

"It's probably the alcohol." You joked, referencing to your confidence as you shamelessly walked over to your guitarist and kissed him. The press would love that, and you must admit you only did it in the small chance Liam would see it.

Justine laughed, "Either way, you're a riot." She threw an arm over your shoulder and began leading you to the stage exit.

"Thanks for waiting for me." You gave her a grateful smile.

"I feel obligated to, I know your own band would ditch you and go do lines in a dumpster somewhere." She joked half heartedly, the both of you knew they'd probably end up in the exact situation.

The two of you stepped out onto the grass backstage area on the Showgrounds, where the bands who played were avoiding the crowds.

The night sky was speckled with a few white stars, there was a haze in the air from a campfire in the middle of the yard, the busses and vans sat randomly around the yard, the way a few of them were parked was very amusing. It was the perfect atmosphere for such an exciting night.

The night itself would've been been perfect if your eyes weren't immediately drawn to none other than Liam Gallagher, you felt your stomach churn and fists curl just at the sight of him nonchalantly sipping on a beer talking casually to a few people.

Justine felt you tense under her arm and gazed over at before following your eyes to the younger Gallagher brother. She frowned and gave you pat on the shoulder, "Just avoid him, if he can't reach you then you'll be fine."

You offered her a sad look, she knew how much he had managed to ruin you. She just rolled her eyes and brought you over to the campfire, grabbed a random cooler and tossed you a beer, "or you could get black out drunk to wash the thoughts of him away."

You smiled sheepishly, "Yeah that sounds better."

You cracked the cap off as Justine surveyed her options of alcohol. You heard the crowd roar as the next band playing walked onto stage, you raised your eyebrows at the sound.

"Whose playing?" You asked as Justine pulled an alcoholic cider from the cooler and slapped the lid down.

"Blur." She stood to her full height, immediately you deviously smiled which caused Justine to roll her eyes with a sigh. "I'm eager to watch Damon play."

You gave her a laugh, "I'm sure you are." Which she rolled her eyes at.

As Damon started singing you watched Justine perk up and she grabbed your hand, "I don't want to miss this, come on."

She pulled you through the tall barricades that separated the bands from people, for a moment you admired the large tarps with drawings all over them that hung over the barricades.

You felt a pair of eyes burning into your back, it made your skin crawl. You knew exactly whose they were, and for a moment you almost considered turning around to stare Liam down, either with a scowl or an innocent look of hurt, either one would send an accurate message through to him.

"Your hand is sweaty." Justine gave you a disgusted look but didn't drop your hand, if she did she faced the possibility of loosing you once you reached the crowd.

"Sorry, nerves." You responded, Justine tipped her head to the beer in your hand, signalling for you to keep drinking.

You eyed the bottle in your hand for a moment before rolling your eyes internally, maybe it was time to finally listen to Justine's advice.

You laughed and threw your head back, gulping down the beer from the bottle.

***

You, Damon and Justine sat on a blanket that you managed to find in the back of your bands bus, it was currently being used to shield you from the grass for whatever reason. The campfire was hot, and still blazing, a band was currently playing, quieter to set the tone of mellowing into the night.

You sipped on a new beer in your hand, tuning in and out of Justine and Damon's shameless flirting, it almost made you cringe but you were a hypocrite, you did the exact same.

You heard some shuffling as the two of them began standing, you frowned for a split second knowing you'd be left alone here.

Justine ran a hand through her hair, "Y/N," she slurred out, "Me and Damon are going too... uh." You watched as her brain tried to form an excuse, they were definitely off to go shag somewhere, or something like that.

"Bar hop!" Damon exclaimed, suddenly more interested in doing that instead of what Justine's tone was suggesting. You watched her shoulders shrug, but it wasn't a bad idea.

"Yeah, sure." She said, as if Damon had asked her the question.

You waved a hand at them, signalling to them, "Have fun, not too much fun." You sent Justine a very obvious wink but you don't think Damon would've seen it in the state he was in.

Justine smiled giddily down at you, you rarely saw her like this, drunk that is, it made her different and you liked to see this side of her.

"Will you be okay on your own?" She asked as Damon threw an arm around her shoulders.

You shrugged, you would be, but you'd be left alone to wallow in self pity, a drink in your hand and countless famous people around you. It was almost embarrassing.

"Have your fun Justine." You spoke as the two of them began walking away. You scrunched your face at it, you knew you and Liam had walked that exact same way before, laughing over nothing and tripping over your own steps. You were jealous, and if jealousy is a disease you were extremely ill.

You watched Damon stop, and send you a call over his shoulder, "Find someone to shag Y/N! Don't waste a perfectly good night!"

You received a few looks from the people around, some amused some beyond sloshed, you felt your face turn red with embarrassment but they just continued walking.

Your gaze focused back down on the half empty drink in your hand, you swirled it around a bit testing it in your mind if you wanted to continue this or find something better to do.

That thing that was better to do was continue to sit here and think about Liam, god you were obsessed, but who wouldn't be? You'd only found out a week ago about his girlfriend and you're still caught up over the butterflies in your stomach when you thought of him, although now there was a new feeling that accompanied them, hurt.

You knew your face must be a delicate somber one, but you didn't care, that was probably the alcohol talking, in any other situation you'd fix yourself up and keep a calm composure.

You felt a weight drop onto the blanket behind you and heard the crunch of the grass, pulling you from your thoughts. You turned your head around to catch a glimpse at whoever was interrupting your pitying thoughts.

"Hello Y/N." You felt your heart pierce and your hand grip the fabric of your pants, hard. Your eyes must of widened and your cheeks white because the mancunian let a chuckle at your expression. "Excited to see me or something?"

You did nothing but stare at Liam, what was this sudden confidence from him, why was he acting like this. You were sure you were scowling at him, you had a lot but nothing to say to him, you'd hadn't talked to him in days.

"Leave me alone Liam." You turned back around, grabbing your beer, you knew you'd need it now, and getting ready to stand, he gripped your wrist before you could, causing you to pull your hand away roughly.

Liam scrunched up his face, "Why have you been avoiding me? Haven't been picking up any of my calls and didn't come talk to me today." As he spoke you could smell the alcohol on his tongue, it was so pungent you thought he must've had countless drinks.

You gave him a glare, "I'm not having this conversation with you Liam." You finally pulled yourself to your feet, sparing him a glance, you couldn't help it. He looked confused, but you were mad, and weren't going to stand being manipulated by the way he looked at you.

You turned and made a B-line for your bus, it would be quiet and dark in there, you'd be able to lay down on one of the benches, cry and fall asleep, that's all you wanted right now.

"Y/N!" You heard him call you, it was slurred and slow. You could hear his quick footsteps behind you, stepping on the lush grass with his massive troll feet, you told yourself that to make yourself feel better.

You were sure the two of you were getting looks as you crossed the yard, but you didn't mind, you were sure Liam looked like an idiot, chasing after a girl while drunk.

Finally, as you just nearly reached your bus he grabbed your shoulder and turned you around with one hand, or maybe you were naturally very listening to his touch, you felt foul at the way your mind betrayed you.

"Come on Darling, what's wrong?" He asked.

You rolled your shoulder and swiped his hand off you. "Don't call me that Liam." You grimaced at him, he took the point but didn't step back.

"We both know you like it." He tried to flirt, which made you even more angrier than you possibly could be.

"Why are you trying to flirt with me? Don't you have a girlfriend you can go call cheesy pet names?" You bitterly spoke.

He went silent, which was unusual because of how loud he was in nature, like a megaphone drawing attention to whoever spoke into it. He looked almost nervous, it looked stupid on him, you wish you could slap that look off his face, or kiss it, your feelings were very complex.

"God you are such a tool!" You shouted, "Your ego is so massive you think you can just pick and choose any girl you want, lead them on like a dog and then ditch them for someone else!"

He looked guilty, but his drunk brain didn't seem to recognise it fully, there was a lot of impulse in his eyes and you didn't like the way he was looking at you with them.

"You cant just treat me like that Liam." You lowered your voice to a quiet talk, you were hurt, you voiced your feelings to him and it felt like ripping a Band-Aid off an unhealed wound.

He stared at you with an unreadable expression, the alcohol in his blood stream smelt putrid.

"I need you." He emphasised the you, as if he was trying to put emotion into the sentence, but it came off like a useless word in a sentence that could be shortened.

You looked back into his eyes, they screamed truth but you didn't know what to believe with him anymore.

"You're drunk." You said, turning around and fishing your pocket for the key to the shitty rent school bus, before unlocking the bus quickly and slamming the door closed behind you just as quickly.

You felt your eyes well with tears and hurt ache as you quickly ran toward the back, flopping down on a bench in back you let the beer drop to the floor and roll away from you, spilling what was left in it as it went.

You shoved your head into your hands as you let out unsteady breaths and choked back whines.

You hated him, hated him for what he did to you, hated him for things he said to you, hated him for making you believe the feelings were real, but most importantly hated him because you could never hate him, not even a little bit, not even at all.

***

You sipped on the warm cup noodles as you sat on the floor of your living room, lights off and tv on, clad in your pyjamas from the night before still. You were sure you looked small and pathetic like this, but it's not like anyone could see you.

"You warm?" Justine asked, you spared her a look. Ok, well, anyone but her. You nodded as she sat down on the couch you sat in front of, back pressed against it.

It was raining outside, it had been for a couple of days, it felt fitting for your mood, but you were hoping the sun would shine soon, sick of sitting inside all day and collecting dust as if you were an old worn out record.

The tv burned your eyes, making you feel tired, it had been on all day, your only distraction was Justine.

"You're acting depressed." She said, rolling her eyes at you. You smiled up at her, offering her a sorry look.

"I'm not."

"I know you aren't."

You twirled your chopsticks around in your cup before bringing it to your mouth. Justine was lost in thought and it intrigued you, you knew it was important when she got that look on her face.

"What's up?" You asked, mouth full of food. She came back from her trance and looked down at you with a giddy smile.

"Damon kissed me, he asked me out too but he was drunk." She dragged a hand through her hair, "He wouldn't stop talking about how much he liked me, I'm just hoping he calls."

You gasped, feeling lifted by her good news. "When was this!"

"Last night, at some party in the centre of the city." She spoke, cheeks flushed pink.

"What! You need to tell me these things sooner Justine, it's nearly the exact same time the next day!" You spoke, wildly as if her keeping a secret from you was illegal.

She shrugged, "Sorry Y/N, I'm not a pitcher like you that spills whenever she has the chance."

You rolled your eyes at her remark and turned back around to stare at the tv again.

You liked the tv, it made you tired and woozy, it dragged you away from reality and allowed you sit in a world outside your own, like a book but less wordsy.

Your eyes stayed fixed as the channel changed to mtv, Justine with the remote in hand, obviously sick of the last channel you'd been viewing for hours.

Although, your eyes immediately laid on none other than Liam Gallagher, you groaned, why would he always come up at the most inconvenient times, like a ghost haunting you.

Justine laughed at your pained noise, but reached a hand down to ruffle your hair. "He's a knob."

You shrugged your shoulders, as you continued watching. He was getting interviewed, it was one of the ones that tried way too hard to be funny, neither of the brothers were feedings into it, it was almost painful to watch.

"I cant believe you were into that." Justine laughed, which caused you to frown. "Or, I guess still into that." She added on.

You pressed your lips together, you couldn't stand watching this, it made you feel miserable and made your head spin just after you had got it to stop.

"He's so brash, that poor interviewer is trying so hard." She said, emphatically.

You shrugged, "Boneheads doing okay."

"He carry's the bands interviews, and hell the band itself."

You didn't like the Oasis talk, although it was an interesting watch, amusing slightly at the brief moment one of the brothers would say something completely inappropriate.

You listened as the interviewer asked, "And what do you think of Y/N, and her band?" She asks, hopefully getting some sort of sharp and mean comment.

The band went silent, not awkwardly but as if they were thinking, but they weren't, you knew they weren't because you'd done the fake thinking thing to questions you didn't want to answer before either. There was some sort of tension that circled around you, it must be funny because of the smirk that hung on Noel's mouth.

You felt insecure, did Liam tell them about how he was leading you on and you followed blindly? Or was it something worse? Ignorance is bliss.

Liam finally chimed in, "Who?" He asked smugly.

You felt your heart twinge before he laughed it off and continued, "No, that Y/N, I fancy her."

"Are you gonna go for her?" The interviewer asked.

"Nah... she'll go for me."

You swallowed your dignity, Justine sparing you a quick glance.

You were sure you looked miserable, you felt pained just watching that.

"Ok, enough of that." She spoke, flicking the channel.

***

You didn't want to be here, none of your band wanted to, but you stood there awkwardly playing with the hem of your top nervously.

"I hate these record label parties." Matthew, your drummer muttered into a glass of water. You gave him a glance as he grimaced at the lack of taste in the cold liquid.

"I want to be drunk, I'm antsy." Your guitarist, Will chimed in.

The three of you were against the wall in a big party for your record label, it was the biggest label in the UK, which meant there were famous people everywhere. It was hosted in some house, there was music, of course, and flashy lights. There were people with cameras and microphones everywhere, you scowled at how they we're allowed in here, and because of the press being here you weren't allowed to drink and 'make a fool of yourselves' which was what your producer told you.

You were sure your bassist was off trying to get high or something, at least she was having a good night, hopefully.

"I say we ditch." Matthew spoke, as he deliberately spilled a bit of water on the floor to cure his boredom, it got on your shoes.

Will nodded, "This is lame."

You gave the both of them a questioning look, "You're going to risk getting in trouble with the label?" You asked them, they knew it was risky, but probably worth it.

"We'll be fine if you stay here." Matthew replied deviously which made you press your lips together in a silent protest.

"You cant just leave me here!" You whined.

Will shrugged, "You're the front man, you're who they're looking to talk to."

Just before the two of them could leave the wall a camera and microphone were shoved in your faces, you cringed for a moment before putting on a happy attitude, the two boys next to you quietly grimacing.

"Y/N! How's the party?" The lady behind the microphone asked.

"Oh it's great," you replied, sarcasm accidentally dripping from your words, whatever, you thought, I'm not drunk enough to act.

"What's been the highlight of the night?" She asked, overly joyous.

You hummed, "Well not much has happened, has it?" You answered honestly. The boys snickered at your response.

You needed this over, and now, your mouth felt dry from the lack of booze. You spotted your escape route, a (surprisingly) sober Noel Gallagher chatting up a few birds.

"Oh hey, look it's Noel." You looked over at him. It worked, the interviewer walked off in favour of the more popular band.

You huffed out a sigh and leaned against the wall. "I'd rather be home." You grumbled out.

Will laughed, "Well now the label knows we were definitely here at some point, let's go, yeah?" Will and Matthew pushed off the wall to their full heights.

"You two go, we'll be in shit if I don't make more of an effort." The two nodded, and began walking off, placing their cups down on a random table along the way, at moments like these you cursed yourself for being a brilliant frontman.

You looked around the room only to spot other bands exactly in the position you were before. This all felt like a way for the label to make money, you felt materialistic, it make you cringe.

The song that was just playing grinded to a stop, seriously grinded, it was far too long and insufferable. The song after it wasn't any good either, you could tell by just hearing the intro it was a shitty pop song, you couldn't handle another minute of this.

You pushed off the wall and made your way to the kitchen, in a mission to find something to cure the dryness of your throat.

The kitchen was clean, smelt like citrus, unlike any other party that provided the stench of alcohol and a sticky floor from where the drunks spill their drinks, you found it a lot better than the selection of soda, water and punch.

"Has anyone spiked the punch?" You asked, half joking as you moved to grab a cup, a couple of people who you recognised from other bands, specifically Alex James who seemed to eye you up a little bit, laughed at your joke and the inconvenience it was to not being able to get sloshed.

You grabbed a cup, filling it with water, it'll do for now. But you could not rub the eyes of Alex off you.

You lifted your head, giving a questioning look to his shameless staring, he gave a chuckle at that.

"How's the party for you?" He asked, you shrugged, taking a sip from your cup.

"I'm not interested in pleasantries, sorry Alex, that's for when I'm drunk and can't remember my name." You responded, he laughed, he seemed to do that a lot.

"I get it, this is lame." He said as you leaned against the wall next to him, you seemed to be doing a lot of wall leaning tonight, it was really all there was to do.

You decided to spice it, make an interesting conversation for yourself. "You heard about Damon and Justine?" You asked, looking up at him.

He smiled deviously with a brow raised, "Yeah, quite a bit actually."

"She doesn't shut up about him, like I mean it, I know his cock size." You stated bluntly, maybe too bluntly considering this was Alex's best mate you were talking about.

Alex let out a snort and a loud laugh, "Christ, we haven't heard that much."

"We?" You asked.

"The entire band, he tells us everything."

You scrunched your face slightly at that, knowing that all four of them talk about Justine, but you guess it was natural, everyone did it, especially girls.

"You think they're going to make it official?" You asked, knowing they'd try to keep a secret for as long as they could from everyone, especially the press.

"We will find out soon enough." Alex shrugged, causing you to hum in acknowledgment, she would definitely tell you, for Christ sake you're best friends.

"What about you?" Alex asked, curiosity on his tone. You lifted a brow at him in question, which caused him to elaborate, "Dating anyone I mean, any famous musicians?"

He wiggled his eyebrows at you which caused you to cringe and your heart to squeeze.

The wound Liam left behind was still being healed, a dose of turning off the tv when he came on, avoiding him at social events and blocking his number from your home phone helped numb the pain. The one thing you couldn't avoid was him being mentioned, it made your heart sting but it didn't bring tears to your eyes anymore, which you thought was good progress.

"Uh, no, never again." You laughed out, trying to lighten the mood, but it only made Alex give you a questioning look.

"Again?" He asked, you sighed, you'd hope he was dumb enough to not catch onto your poor wording.

You looked at him, he seemed curious, what was the point of lying? It wasn't like you didn't know Alex, you'd spoken to him plenty of times, you knew the news wouldn't get far from him, probably to the rest of Blur but that's where it would stop, celebrities were always careful with these things.

"Uh, Liam Gallagher." You looked away as if, if you didn't, you would regret saying it.

Alex choked on his breath of air, coughing in shock and raising a hand to his chest. "What?" He coughed out. "You talked to Liam Gallagher? Like, Oasis Liam, the arsehole."

You smiled at his insults solemnly, before taking a sip of your water to allow yourself to drown your heavy thoughts.

"Yeah, for awhile, it was serious, well to me it was. I got to see a different side of him no one else did, kind, sweet and compassionate, hell I'd stay up late talking on the phone with him almost every night, I even gave him my new years kiss." You spilled, you didn't want to but it came pouring out like a flood.

Alex gave you a sad look, "What ended it?" He asked.

"He got a girlfriend, it wasn't surprising, very much so, it hurt like fuck, it still does."

"What an arse." Alex remarked.

"Cunt." You bluntly stated.

"So no dating anyone famous for awhile?" He cheekily asked, raising the mood effortlessly. You smiled over at him.

"Dream on, Alex James."

The two of you chatted for awhile, about random things like how music production was going for the both of your bands and spilling secrets you'd heard about other people in your scene. Eventually at some point Alex decided that a pub down the street was a much better place right now, and you knew he would probably run into Mathew and Will down there.

You stood against the wall on your own now, water nearly empty, which is exactly how your stomach felt. You didn't knowing spilling your feelings would feel so relieving, but it was, and you were grateful for the opportunity.

As you stood there, you noticed a glass sliding door on the other side of the kitchen, the perfect escape from a stuffy party with cameras everywhere.

You pushed yourself off the wall, making a b-line for the door, ignoring the people calling your name, eager for an interesting conversation. Once you'd reached it, you pulled the sliding door open and quickly shut it behind you, sucking in a deep breathe of the fresh air.

The balcony was a welcome escape, it was fresh, it was relaxing, it allowed you to be on your own with the worry of being reported as an anti social snob, when in reality all you wanted to do was drink.

You leaned forward onto the railing, taking in the lack lustre view of the city, internally you wished it was something else, a forest maybe, but you'd grown accustomed to the bright lights that lit up the night sky. It was never dark in London.

Although the short amount of time you were enjoying yourself was quickly ruined as the putrid and thick scent of cigarette smoke wafted around you and into your nostrils. You gave a cough as you waved your hand in front of your hand.

"Care for a hit?" A Manchester accent asked you, it made your skin crawl. You looked at the culprit just see exactly who you recently were talking about. It mad your angry, but with that anger came a sense of tiredness.

You were sick of hating him, sick of not being to get him out of your mind, sick of feeling a pierce when his name was mentioned, sick of avoiding him. It was as if he had plagued you. Although the grudge was hard to hold when you didn't see a point into holding it anymore, when your arms got weak and all you wanted to is forget.

"I'm going back inside." You spoke, standing to your full height.

"No, stay." Liam spoke, more of a demand.

You gave him a look over your shoulder, shamelessly taking in the state of him. He seemed fine, of course he was, happy and famous with a pretty blonde girlfriend. He held a cigarette in his hand and wore a long tshirt, different than his usual parka, but you assumed it was too hot.

And you did, you stayed where you were, turning your head back around and deciding you could just ignore him.

It was awkward, painfully, you wondered if he remembered anything from that night almost two weeks ago. The tension in the air was thick, it was harder to breathe than his cigarette smoke.

Your hands clenched and unclenched around the railing due to your nerves. It was very obvious, you didn't care though, he already read it on your face.

"I saw you talking to Alex James, the blur twat." Liam spoke, nonchalantly, but you knew there was more feelings, there always was which was what he told you back in December over the phone during a late night deep talk.

"Yeah I was." You responded, trying to stay stoic.

"Why?" He asked, you didn't like how he was questioning you, it made your shoulders hurt as if you were carrying each word he said on them.

"Gossip." You stated blankly, trying to finish the conversation.

You heard him shuffle, before he stood next to you, his back leaning against the railing, the opposite direction to you. You took a step away, making it clear you were not enjoying this.

"What's with you?" He asked. You gave an angry look, one that screamed seriously? Are you kidding? He seemed to be taken aback by it, but he didn't stop. "You haven't been answering my calls either, I'm confused Y/N."

"Do you remember the festival?" You asked spitefully, staring up at him.

He shook his head, "Christ no, I was sloshed."

"Yeah you were." You scowled, "So sloshed that you decided to try to flirt with me."

Liam sent you a look, one with a mixture confusion and annoyance. "What's so wrong with that? We always do that! Every time we are together."

"You have a girlfriend!" You shouted, which made him widen his eyes. "You used me as some sort of validation for months! Hell, nearly a year! I thought you liked me, a lot! But I was horrifically mistaken. You made me feel like a teenager who got used just for attention, and I should've noticed through the way you never asked me out." You let it all out, to his face, a finally sober Liam who would actually be able to react to this.

Your hands were hot on the railing, and so was your face, your brain screamed get up and leave and stomach churned as if you were to be sick. You heart ached like it never had and you felt tears began to fall down your face.

"Did you see the magazine?" He asked, empathetically, his hands were shaking, they moved as if they wanted to hold you, and that made your feelings go blunt until they were sad, the adrenaline rush over.

You nodded, and let out a quiet "Yes." voice embarrassingly revealing you were crying.

Liam sighed, and took a puff of his cigarette before dragging his hand over his face, tossing the cigarette off the balcony and onto the ground below. You watched the ash die, it felt metaphorical.

"Y/N, are you an idiot?"

"What?" You asked, painfully, it felt like he was grabbing the knife in your chest and twisting it.

"Do you seriously believe everything you see in the press?"

"Wha-"

He cut you off, and continued on, "She was a distant family friend, never met her before that day. She needed a place in London to stay and me mother urged me to let her stay. Only had my arm around her in that picture to avoid the street traffic without getting lost."

You swallowed the lump in your throat, you felt like an idiot, a real fucking fool. Your pain and anger for the last few months were all for nothing, over a stupid reason.

"She was well a cunt too." He laughed, trying to lighten the mood, "She hated the paparazzi, tried to make me tell them to go away. She was gone in less than day, found some other place to stay." He shrugged.

You sighed loudly, pressing your head into your hands as you leaned forward. You were embarrassed, badly, you were so hurt over something you'd seen on a magazine, blocked his number and didn't even let him explain, you felt stupid, really badly. You didn't want to move and look him in the eyes, so you stayed the way you were.

"Y/N?" He asked, looking down at you.

"I'm embarrassed Liam." You mumbled.

Liam laughed and placed a hand onto your back, it made you shudder, but it was a good feeling, finally.

"Look at me, would ya?" He asked, and you obliged, slowly pushing yourself and looking at him.

He smiled at your expression cheeks hot, and probably slightly tear stained. He lifted a hand to your face and wiped the tears that kept spilling from your eyes away.

"I'm a down right fool." You stated, and adverted your eyes from him.

"Yeah, you are." He replied feeding into your embarrassment, which you didn’t appreciate.

He placed both of his hands on your shoulders, staring down at you, his gaze was burning, but it didn’t feel judgemental, which is something you’d never assume from the Gallagher brother.

He pulled you in by your shoulders into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around your neck and tucking his head into your shoulder. For a moment you didn’t process it, but you wrapped your arms around his torso, leaning into him as well.

For a moment you stayed like this, it was nice, it brought you back to life like the snow melting into spring. You sighed, your tears on your cheeks soaking into his shirt, he didn’t seem to mind.

“I could not stop thinking about you Y/N. The entire time you were away from me I could not stop…” he searched his brain for the appropriate word, “longing.” He finally finished.

He pulled away slightly, enough to look down at you and see your face.

You laughed light heartedly, “Every time I thought of you it made me sick, I was so mad.”

Liam frowned at what you said, “I should’ve told you.”

You shook your head, “You didn’t have to, it’s not like we were dating.”

You both paused, looking at each others faces, the topic of dating had never come up between the two of you before, sure at some point he made you say that you were his, but that was never brought up after that.

You felt like you were in an unreal situation as Liam’s face contorted a bit into a nervous look. You knew the boy was brash, and had a hard outer shell, but you get to see him in a different way, a way not many have seen before, you felt like you had the biggest secret locked away in your mind and heart. You wonder what was so special about you for him to act like this.

“Why have you never asked me out Liam?” You asked, impulsively.

His eyebrows knitted upwards, “Look at you Y/N. You’re everything and more, I can’t help but turn into a different person when you’re around, flirty and soft.” He grumbled out the last bit, which made you smile.

“This person I am, is so different, I’m just not used to it, but I like it, I like knowing I can love, and in return be loved.” He spoke solemnly, pausing for a second to breathe in with a shudder, “You change me, for the better, I became more calm and relaxed, it was something new, but I liked it, because I knew it meant that I had you. But I was so nervous, how could I not be when you could have anyone you pointed at?”

You laughed breathlessly as he spilled, “Liam do I have to remind you what you made me say?”

Liam gave you a confused look, you just smiled fondly.

“I’m yours, Liam.” You stated, and his face went red, he seemed to move his eyes over your face as if you were being sarcastic.

“Oh dear god.” He spoke out in a whisper as he didn’t find a trace of a lie in your eyes.

You lifted yourself onto your tippy toes, and leaned close to him, “I missed you.” You stated.

He just stared at you, before closing the gap and pressing a passionate kiss full of confessions, longing and love, to your lips.

His hands dropped to your waist, and yours to the back of his head, slotting into his soft hair nicely. This was familiar, this was missed.

The two of you pulled away, a giddy smile on your face and flushed cheeks on his.

“Will you go out with me Y/N?” He asked, moving a hand to cradle your face.

You made an expression, as if you were thinking.

“Hmm.. no.” You said.

His eyes widened and his face dropped, he swallowed a lump in his throat.

You couldn’t stand seeing him like that had to end the torture quickly, you laughed and shook your head, “I’m joking Liam, I will, I swear.”

His face brightened again, like a child’s, it looked silly on him, but you liked it, you liked everything about him.

“Fuck you Y/N.”

***

You twirled your hair on your finger as you picked your telephone up and tapped the numbers you had memorised into the keypad. It rang for a second before you heard plastic moving on the other side.

“Hello?” You heard Justine call on the other side of the phone.

“Hi Justine.” You greeted, a smile on your face.

“You sound happy, what’s happened?” She said, as you heard her move to sit down on her couch.

“You need to hear me out.” You spoke, with a sheepish tone, knowing that Justine would interrupt you and get angry if she didn’t hear the entire story.

“Me and Liam are going out, turns out he didn’t have a girlfriend, it was some family friend who didn’t end up being on his good side for long. I ran into him last night on a balcony at that shitty label party, I got a bit angry and had a yell at him, and he was finally sober enough to explain himself. Turns out he’s been trying to call me, and your advice on blocking his number could’ve saved me from the torture my conscience has put up with this last month.” You stated with a giggle at the end, too happy to let anything get you down. “The press blew that picture of him and the girl up, it was stupid and I believed it.”

You heard some shuffling on the other side of the phone, a laugh, one that was definitely not Justine’s could be heard, it was a lads, but you didn’t have time to ask before she sighed loudly.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Is that Damon?”

#liam gallagher #liam gallagher x reader #justine frischmann #damon albarn #alex james #oasis band #liam gallagher oasis

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