#like I clearly remember getting out of highschool and thinking clearly I didn’t want to see this people until I had my shit together

[chrollogy]

iv. NEW YEAR BLUES

miya atsumu x f!reader

── next: v. Misunderstandings | series masterlist

synopsis: After sending a risky text to Atsumu, you avoid your phone the next morning like a ticking time bomb until curiosity gnaws at your skin but it doesn’t take long before you cave. Thus, with a bated breath, you brace yourself for his response.

chapter content warning: college au, angst heh, shrine visit (poor depiction), implied alcohol use, tipsy reader (maybe a dumbass too), miya atsumu is an even bigger dumbass, hinata mention LMAO, mutual pining, slow burn, requited unrequited love, miscommunication (it just got even worse. rip.), not beta read.

word count: 4.1k

notes: divider: cafekitsune. woweeee one more chapter and then we’re done ehehehehe >:)

It was quarter to two.

The mellow hum of Hyōgo’s early winter morning settled into Atsumu’s bones like a pair of invisible shackles, holding him hostage between the borders of sleep, and sobriety. On other nights, it lulled him to slumber without any problem but not tonight, not when his mind was plagued with thoughts of you.

Out of all times, his brain decided to recount every single moment with you from the trip. First, it was the happy, mellow memories of the first day—stolen glances full of yearning, his crimson-tinged cheeks, and fluttering heartbeats, and then came the uncomfortable haze that drove a wedge between the two of you. God, Atsumu didn’t even want to think about that moment on the boat.

Atsumu was fully aware that you knew his response was a complete lie but could you really blame him? What difference would it have made if he said ‘yes’? At the end of the day, what he felt for you was one-sided, nothing was going to change the fact that you only viewed him as a friend.

In fact, maybe this wall between the two of you was the cure to his yearning heart—a space to help him move on, and forget the familiarity of loving you.

As Atsumu’s caramel gaze bore into the ceiling above, tracing the moonlit glow that seeped from the window, his phone illuminated the dark room for a brief second, a tinge of blue catching his attention.

Mindlessly reaching for his device that lay on the wooden nightstand, he let out a tired sigh, honeyed eyes squinting at the sudden brightness that invaded his vision. Letting his eyes adjust, Atsumu carefully read the notification banner on the lock screen.

It was a message from you. His heart violently stuttered. Thank goodness for the tight grip he had or else his face would’ve been aching from his phone falling on it.

As if on instinct, Atsumu sat up, clearly sobered up from the fact that you texted him at almost 2 AM. Were you perhaps also having trouble sleeping? Atsumu wondered if your mind was also filled with thoughts the past few days—thoughts of him. He could only fantasise.

The blonde positioned himself against his headboard before clicking onto your message with a shaky digit, and a thundering heartbeat.

It was an absurdly long paragraph.

‘hey. i know you’re asleep right now, and you’ll probably see this in the morning but whatever :) . .’

Atsumu swallowed thickly. For some reason, he felt oddly nervous about this message but at the same time, anticipated the context behind it. Maybe you were trying to salvage whatever was left of the friendship? Or maybe you just wanted to cuss him out with a long, detailed message.

Nonetheless, Atsumu kept reading,

‘. . . i’m not going to beat around the bush or anything so i’ll get straight to the point. i like you. i’ve had feelings for you since highschool and i know it’s cowardly of me to confess over text but i don’t mind being called one.

god, i cannot even remember the feeling of my heart acting normal around you. my heart is so painfully familiar to yearning for you that it hurts. whenever i see you, i just can’t seem to act right. i hate how my heart stutters, how my cheeks heat, how my body suddenly doesn’t know how to act normally. it’s bittersweet because i feel guilty for falling in love with a close friend but also i’m not ashamed of it because you’re so amazing, and caring.

i cherish you a lot, tsumu, i really do and i know you do too but i don’t think it's in the way i want you to. i’m not pressuring you for an answer or anything because i already know you don’t like me back but that’s okay. i don’t know what will happen after this but just know that i really admire our friendship.

like i said before, you don’t have to reply to this. i just really needed to get all the pent up feelings out of my chest so i can finally move on :) just give me some time to be myself again.’

One word. Speechless. Miya Atsumu was speechless.

There were so many goddamn emotions that ran through every single fibre of his body to the point where his brain couldn’t process it all. Atsumu didn’t know whether to be ecstatic with the fact that—holy shit—you reciprocated his feeling, or to be frustrated with the fact that you thought it was one-sided.

His heart hammered against his chest, the pounding of it reaching his very ears. He was so fucking nervous that he breathed through his parted lips, honeyed eyes re-reading every single word you typed. The winter chill that filled his room went awfully warm, mirroring the crimson tinge that painted his cheeks.

So he was the one you were talking about back then; that drunken confession where you told him you had feelings for a certain someone.

Atsumu didn’t know what to do—didn’t know what to respond.

In all honesty, you put him in a very tough spot. How was he supposed to respond after confessing your feelings but also stating that you did not, in fact, sought an answer. Not to mention how you practically put words in his mouth.

Who were you to decide if Atsumu reciprocated your feelings or not?

The blonde took a deep, shaky breath, palms sweating as he gripped the device. Atsumu knew he needed to respond with a calculated mind—as tempting as it was, he wasn’t going to let his heart lead this time.

Not when his mind painfully reminded him of the conversation you two had,

“I don’t even think I’m ready for a relationship.” “So . . yer jus’ gonna confess for the sake of movin’ on? Even if he likes ya back?”

He vividly remembered the way you solemnly nodded to his question, a sad, subtle smile lingering on your lips as if to reassure yourself that you’ll be okay.

Atsumu closed his eyes, letting the sounds of crickets chirping outside consume him. The gears in his head turned, and turned, working overtime to come up with a response. He had to be sensible, whatever he replied was surely going to change the course of your bond, forever.

Though, there was only one thing he knew—to respect your decision.

The morning came rather quickly, early rays peeked through your window, mellow hues of yellow, and orange painted the ivory walls of your room to cast a warm, inviting glow—a reminder of the impending day ahead.

As you reached for your device to check the time, you were greeted with a black, unlit screen, your sleepy reflection staring back. Oh, that’s right. You had turned it off right after sending that risky text message to Atsumu, wanting nothing to do with it.

Vivid memories of last night came flooding in, filling every corner of your mind. All the words you typed down, the feelings that came with it, the hammering of your heart—it came back to you, and now, you were twice as nervous. You wondered if Atsumu had already read your message, even more curious about his response—if he did send one back.

Just thinking about it made your head dizzy. There was a ray of hope tucked neatly at the bottom of your heart, it wasn’t big but you held onto it like it was the most precious thing.

You let out a sigh, and tossed the device on your bed before getting ready to brave the winter day ahead. There were four more days before the new year rolled around—how you were going to spend the last two days heavily depended on Atsumu’s response.

It was inevitable. Every now, and then, your eyes mindlessly wandered to the device that lifelessly lay atop your sheets, its blackened screen inviting you to turn it on. You turned your room upside down for anything to distract you from the silent beckoning of your device—from re-reading your favourite manga to blankly staring at the ceiling above.

There was even an urge to read a syllabus from one of your new classes this coming semester.

Four hours. You lasted four dreadful hours before curiosity settled into your skin like a painful bite—no matter how much you ignored it, it seemed to worsen.

And with a hammering heartbeat, and sweaty palms, you turned it on. Patiently waiting, you watched as it displayed the brand logo, and then a few seconds before it loaded your lock screen. A heartbeat passed as the device showed several notifications from last night, and this morning. Disregarding them, you scrolled straight down until Atsumu’s message notification came into view.

You sucked in a breath.

The thread of messages between you two quickly popped up as you clicked on the notification. Bracing yourself, your eyes wander down to the start of his response—god, it was equally as long.

It was sent at 2 AM. It made you even more nervous after realising that Atsumu was indeed still awake when you had sent the message.

‘hey :) first of all, i’m very thankful that you had the courage to bring this up to me so please don’t call yourself a coward, i know how hard it is to try and confess to someone. i find it admirable, really. i think it’s brave of you to decide something like this.

secondly, i am over the moon after finding out you have feelings for me. it feels such an honour to be loved by a close friend so thank you again for letting me know. like you said, i, too, cherish our friendship. i don’t know what will become of our bond after this but just know that i am very glad to be friends with you.

thirdly, as you’ve mentioned in your message, i don’t feel the same way. .’

You stopped reading to stare at the ceiling above, a foolish smile plastered upon your lips—it conveyed anything but happiness.

Oh.

Oh.

So, you were right. Atsumu didn’t feel the same way.

That little bundle of hope deep inside your heart disappeared, dissolving into nothing but what seemed like distant memories—memories of your saccharine moments together.

God, you already had a feeling he didn’t like you back but why did it feel like a hard slap on the face? As if reeling you back into dull reality after a haze of fantasy. This was what you wanted, right? To confess with rejection in mind so you could finally move on. But now that the answer lay right before you on a silver platter, why didn’t you want to move on?

You mustered every single bit of your strength to read the rest of his message, vision becoming blurry as tears slowly formed.

‘. . . you’re such a great friend. don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful both inside and out but my feelings for you are just platonic. i’m really sorry that i don’t reciprocate your feelings. i don’t know how much this will affect you but just know that if you want me to stay away, i will. it’s the least i can do to help you move on.

you’re an amazing person, and there are a lot of other guys out there who deserve you so much but i am not one of them. again, thanks for letting me know.’

You didn’t even realise hot tears started rolling down your cheeks until it hit the screen with a soft sound, one by one, droplets of tears scattered the surface of your device as if to wash away all of Atsumu’s words

A weird feeling blossomed in your chest, extending its sharp roots down to your stomach where it painfully planted itself. The grip on your phone tightened, other hand clutching—clawing—at your heavy heart, wanting to take it out from the confines of your ribcage and mend it with your own shaky hands.

Everything felt completely still, birds that hummed their usual morning song were no more, mellow sounds of the city became distant as you let yourself wallow in complete sadness.

It was odd, you felt nothing, and everything at the same time—the ugly feeling in your chest, the sting behind your eyes, the impending headache from your stuffy nose. Atsumu’s words repeated inside your mind, plagued it like an invasive plant which invited more pain to your strained heart.

‘I don’t feel the same way. My feelings for you are just platonic.’

It wasn’t just cupid’s stupid arrow agonisingly digging into the core of your heart, no, it also felt like he had wrung your heart dry with his bare hands, and he was laughing about it.

You felt like a fucking fool. Especially for hoping that somewhere down the line, Atsumu felt the same way.

The last two remaining days of the year were a complete haze, navigating through the last moments with a clouded mind, and an unmendable heart while putting on a brave face. And as the clock struck midnight on the 31st, you put on the happiest smile you could muster in front of your parents, and welcomed the new year with uncertainty. You tried not to think about Atsumu’s words but they were seared into your mind, a mocking reminder of your unreciprocated feelings.

It wasn’t long before the first morning of the new year greeted you with clear skies, and warm rays, paired with an early call from Suna. You already knew the reason for his call—of course, one cannot celebrate the new year without hatsumōde.

“It’s a surprise you picked up my call, you haven’t been answering my texts. Anyway, the twins, and I are visiting the shrine, coming?”

“How about Kita?” You asked. “He’s going with his grandmother tomorrow.”

With a sigh, you hesitantly agreed. It's only been two days since the confession, and you could already feel the awkwardness, and pain seeping into your bones. You knew you weren’t even ready to face Atsumu yet but you’ve never turned down a shrine visit from your friends, especially on new years.

Before you knew it, the crisp winter air engulfed your body. Clad in thick layers of clothes, you walked the quiet footpath to the local shrine, heart hammering against your chest with every step taken closer to your friends—to Atsumu.

His flaxen locks were easy to spot, standing out amongst the crowd of people with raven strands. Your heart violently stuttered but you kept your eyes on Suna, putting on a bright smile to greet them. They stood just before the grand torii gate which led straight to the shrine itself.

“Glad ya could make it.” Osamu greeted you with a hug, followed by Suna.

Throughout the whole exchange with the two men, you could feel Atsumu’s burning gaze on the side of your face, and god, was it an extreme sport to ignore it. The two didn’t notice the way you, and Atsumu awkwardly greeted one another—a tight-lipped smile, and a brief eye contact. You felt small, and naked under his honeyed gaze but it wasn’t anything intimate, you guessed this was the consequences of baring the contents of your heart two nights ago.

Tugging at the neckline of your clothes, you began to grow uncomfortable at the awkwardness that made itself known.

You weren’t going to lie, Atsumu looked devastatingly handsome as ever, and it pained your heart even more. Though, he had this familiar expression painted on his face—the one he always wore whenever he was upset about something. It was subtle but you noticed the way his bottom lip jutted out ever so slightly, the light crease between his thick brows.

It was hard not to wonder what Atsumu was upset about.

After showing respect by bowing at the torii gate, the four of you fell into a step. Since it was the first day of the new year, the shrine was packed with families, friends, couples and people alike; some were at the chōzuya—water purification pavilion—to purify their body & mind while others were already lined up to pay respects at the main shrine building.

Keeping to the sides of the main path, You, Suna, and Osamu fell into a mellow conversation—talking about the new year ahead, and the upcoming semester. Surprisingly, Atsumu didn’t join in the conversation, hands tucked deep inside the pockets of his jacket, he stared hard at the concrete beneath.

It shouldn’t bother him but it did.

You were the one who got rejected so why was he more upset about the situation? Why were you able to easily slip into a cheerful conversation with Osamu, and Suna while acting like nothing happened two nights ago? Atsumu half expected you to not even turn up today, he had to practically stop himself from overreacting after the brunette stated you’d come.

Well, it was good that you were already moving on but whatever. Atsumu decided shoving away the weird feeling in his chest was the best option.

After doing the ceremonial purification rite at the chōzuya, the four of you headed at the back of the line for the main shrine. It didn’t take too long until it was your turn, Suna, and Osamu went ahead first which left you, and Atsumu to pair up.

Watching as your two friends prayed at the shrine, you dug your nails into the plush of your palms, awkwardness eating away at you. It felt like everyone’s eyes were burning holes on both your’s, and Atsumu’s backs—as if they all knew what happened between the two of you a couple of nights back; it also didn’t help how you could practically feel Atsumu’s not-so-subtle stares from the side.

Sighing, you spoke to him for the first time since that moment at the boat, “If you’re uncomfortable with me, I’m more than happy to do it alone.”

You didn’t dare look at him, even when he fully turned to face you. It was dangerous, one look into his gaze, and you’d be a sobbing mess.

“It’s not that. It’s just . .”

Atsumu’s sentence trailed off as he noticed you walking up to the shrine. He closed his lips and silently followed, heart weighing heavy with every unspoken word that plagued his mind.

The two of you did the customs as usual: ringing the bell, tossing a 5 yen coin into the wooden saisen-bako, bowing twice, and clapping twice before praying. You, and Atsumu stayed still for a moment, eyes closed, and palms glued together to wish for good luck in the new year ahead. Ending the prayer with another bow, the two of you joined Osamu, and Suna.

“I saw ‘em distributin’ amazake. Wanna go grab some?” The younger twin pointed a thumb over his shoulder. His brother, and Suna agreed rather quickly, their throats bobbing at the mention of the sweet treat.

Feigning a yawn, you spoke up, “I think I’ll head home now. I didn’t really get much sleep last night.” This earned a unison of disgruntled sounds from Suna, and Osamu whereas Atsumu wordlessly looked over your way.

It wasn’t like you were lying, you really didn’t get much sleep, especially after waiting for the clock to strike midnight but it wasn’t like lack of sleep bothered you, no, it was the growing feeling in your chest the longer you spent time in Atsumu’s presence.

Bidding your friends a good bye, you headed home, each step taken away from Atsumu somewhat eased the strain in your heart.

Never in a million years would your old self believe that the feeling of being away from Atsumu brought a sense of comfort, a tranquillity in your heart. Albeit, not easy—nothing ever was when you’re taming a yearning heart—there were days where the urge to bask in his presence were strong, and there were days where you felt fine without Atsumu around.

Safe to say, your year started with the much dreaded new year blues.

Ever since the new semester started, you’ve busied yourself with assignments, weekly quizzes, and whatever else that allowed you to make several excuses just to not see Atsumu—whether it be movie nights at the twins’ apartment, afternoon library sessions, or simply just coffee runs with the group, you had an excuse

Before you knew it, it had already been a little over two weeks since you’ve confessed—two weeks since you last saw Atsumu at the shrine. Two weeks, and your feelings never wavered for him, not even once, that was the stubbornness you were dealing with.

“Whatever, I’ll come by your place tonight, and drag you out if I have to.”

You groaned, “Suna.” He said your name with an equally serious tone, his dulcet voice spilling from the speakers of your phone.

“You’ve been holed up in your room since forever, and we haven’t seen you that much. I miss you, the twins miss you, and Kita misses you. It’s just a few hours to let loose.”

“Isn’t it a bit too early in the semester to party? Also, Kita’s coming?” You tried your best to ignore the fact that your heart stuttered at the mention of the twins missing you. Atsumu missed you? Before you could pick Suna’s words apart, he spoke into the line,

“It’s not a party, just a small gathering with some familiar faces. And, no, he isn’t. He needed to work on an assignment.”

“I do, as well!” “Bullshit. I’ll see you at eight.” With that, he ended the call.

And that’s how you ended up in the twins’ apartment, lazily sloshing the alcoholic contents of your plastic cup. You don’t recall the amount of drinks you’ve drank but it sure was enough to have your head spinning.

There were familiar faces here, and there—which you took time to greet every single one—and some foreign faces. You assumed most of the people here were Atsumu’s teammates from the university team with how close they were with the blonde.

In all honesty, you had absolutely no idea as to why the twins were even hosting this gathering, it was so out of the blue. Though, you did hear an orange-haired male loudly exclaim to Atsumu at how much of a genius he was for organising a gathering this early into the semester.

So, it was Atsumu’s idea all along.

“Y’know, you can just talk to him, right?”

Suna’s slurred voice unceremoniously pulled you out of your trance, shifting your attention over to him. “What do you mean?” You coughed, cheeks heating, trying to hide the fact that Suna just caught you shamelessly staring at Atsumu who conversed with the orange-haired male. He sat beside you, body far back into the couch, narrow eyes fighting the sleep that slowly overtook him.

You didn’t like how your mind instantly agreed with his sentence.

The brunette let out a humourless chuckle but didn’t elaborate further, instead, he pulled out his phone to mindlessly scroll on it. Narrowing your eyes at him for a brief moment, you shifted your gaze back to the blonde, he had a big smile on his face, a tinge of crimson across his cheeks.

God, even under the shitty lighting of their apartment, Miya Atsumu still looked handsome as ever.

You stared at him for a moment, heart hammering against your chest, limbs tingling at the sudden urge to walk up to him. Oh, this was a very dangerous game you were playing, especially with the alcohol in your system. Your mind yelled go, go, go but you knew better than to play with fire, right?

Wrong.

In a heartbeat, you were on your feet, taking slow strides over to Atsumu. The sober part of your mind screamed at you to turn around, and sit back down but the tipsy part of your mind was stubborn—you wondered if it took after your heart.

The sudden urge to talk to Atsumu was fuelled by nothing but liquid courage—all the worries in your mind were magically solved; the weight that pulled your heart down was gone, and suddenly, it didn’t seem like a bad idea to even talk to him.

Deep down, you knew you were playing a very dangerous game right now but you couldn’t care less. Not when your heart pulled you closer to him.

As you neared, Atsumu cut the conversation short with his friend, and stared at you with expectant eyes, brows sky high in surprise. He sucked in a breath as you looked up at him through your lashes, the corners of your lips subtly turned upwards. Heart pounding, he shifted his weight from one leg to another as he waited for you to speak first,

“‘Tsumu, can we talk?”

Atsumu’s knees almost gave out upon hearing his nickname roll off your tongue, an icy shiver running up his spine.

—

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© chrollogy 2024 | don't plagiarise, repost or steal my header.

[strwbrryeyes]

Hiii, I love your writing sm, idk if you're taking asks rn so if you're not im so sorry 😭😭 BUTTT if you are can you Nishinoya Headcanons for female reader who is taller than him like by 6-7 inches and she plays volleyball too and he's got a huuugeee crush on her?

𖦹°｡⋆ Nishinoya having a crush on a taller girl

⟡ cw: sad noya :(, taller reader, tiny bits of angst, lmk if i missed anything

⟡ an: bahhh kind of shorter than i would like but i hope this is good enough im bad at these kind of headcanons so im sorry if it isn't what you wanted exactly</3

Nishinoya has been utterly in love you ever since he watched the girls volleyball team practice.

You and Nishinoya were put in the same class your second year of highschool but never really talked until you came up to him after watching the boys volleyball team play against aoba johsai in a practice match. He was elated that such a pretty girl was talking to him, let alone complimenting him, but he was even more happy and excited when you invited him to come watch your practice.

From then on, Nishinoya has never let his own team know peace because he was always gushing over you and your amazing volleyball skills

“You should have seen the way she spiked the ball! It was like Hinata’s spike but better!” He would exclaim causing a whine from Hinata who was clearly offended.

He would also make it a point to come to any practice he could make it to as his schedule with volleyball was just as busy with yours.

“Nishinoya! You’re here a again!” You ran up to him with only one of your volleyball shoes on and the other on your hand making him laugh a bit before he nodded and handed you a sports drink.

“Yeah! I had so much fun watching you all play the other day that I thought I could stop by again whenever I can!” He explains, smiling as you take a sip of the energy drink.

After a while, you started watching his practices whenever you could as well as going to any big games he had which only made him melt because it just meant he got to show off how super cool he was.

“Oh! [name]! Did you need something?” Nishinoya runs to you as soon as he sees you walk through the gymnasium door.

“Nope! Just thought I’d come by and watch you practice as a sort of returning the favor type deal since you come and support me so often” You softly say before you remember something and open your backpack to take out the protein bar and sports drink you brought for him making the butterflies in his stomach flutter like crazy.

Nishinoya genuinely thought he had a chance with you and was talking to Tanaka about how he was going to finally make a move on you and properly ask you out but that was all shattered when Tsukishima overheard them and chuckled saying “You really think [name] is going to go out with someone who is shorter than her?”

“Bro, don’t listen to him, you know how Tsukishima is.” Tanaka tries to reassure him but Nishinoya just shakes his head and sighs.

“No, he’s right this time.” Nishinoya drops to the floor and lays down to look at the ceiling “she would never go out with someone who is like what, 6? 7? Inches shorter than her? I have to face it, I have no chance with her.”

Nishinoya then distanced himself from you because he didn’t want to face the fact you could never like someone like him. However, this didn’t go unnoticed by you.

You hadn’t had a chance tot alk to Nishinoya in a few days and at first you thought it was just because he was busy so you didn’t think too much of it until one day school was let out early meaning there were no after school activities so you thought of this as you chance to go talk to him.

You had found him at his locker getting ready to leave, Tanaka next to him. As you walked closer, you could see Tanaka look at you then back at Nishinoya to tell him you were coming making him turn his head a little to see you but quickly walked away once he realized you were actually coming his way leaving Tanaka alone and disappointed and leaving yourself confused and a little hurt.

“Hey Tanaka…” You greet the wing spiker before looking over his shoulder before you continue “Is Nishinoya mad at me? Did I do something wrong? He hasn’t walked to me in days.” you pout with your eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“He’s not mad at you, [name].” Tanaka puts his hand on you shoulder as he sighs “Noya just- he’s just in his head about something but it isn’t my place to tell you about what just try to talk to him? Please?” Tanaka says and asks making you nod in response before he walks away.

You think about what Tanaka says and become determined to talk Nishinoya even more than before so one day at lunch time, you quietly follow Nishinoya to the rooftop where you found out he’s been going since he stopped talking to you. Once you reached the rooftop, you watched as he went to where he would look over the school’s courtyard from the holes of the wired fence and took this as your chance to corner him.

“Why are you ignoring me?” You blurt out making Nishinoya jump out of terror and shock.

Once calmed a bit, Nishinoya turns to look at you, up at you and he sighs before going back to looking at the rooftop view. “I’m not ignoring you.” He says flatly hoping its enough for you to leave him alone but of course, it isn’t enough and you grab his shoulder to force him to look at you.

“Yes you are! Everytime I call out for you you run away or say you’re busy!” you shout with a slight pain in your voice but after a second you take a deep breath and regain your composure “Tanaka said something’s been bugging you but he wouldn’t tell me what it was and considering that you’ve been distant, I guess it has to do with me. So spill.”

Nishinoya looks into your eyes, thinking of what to say but nothing is coming to mind leaving you both in dead silence with only the distant sound of laughter and chatter of students enjoying their lunch.

A minute passes and you sigh and look at the ground before turning to look back at Nishinoya’s face. “Okay fine. You don’t want to talk to me? Then don’t. I’m leaving.” you say as you grab your bag that at some point fell on the ground and turn to walk away but are stopped when you feel a hand on your arm.

“I like you, [name]. I have since the moment I first saw you play volleyball.” Nishinoya starts as he pulls you closer to him, making you look at him again. “And everyday since, I have fallen harder for you. Whenever you automatically take a sip of the drink I bring you, everytime you come give me snacks at my practice, when you hit my head to wake me up when im sleeping in class. I am always finding more things to love about you but it hurts. It hurts knowing you’ll never feel the same way about me.” Nishinoya croaks out his feelings, leaving you shocked and speechless. Nishinoya waits for a reply but when he doesn’t get one, he lets go of your arm and sighs “So yeah, forgive me if I want to distance myself from you before I get hurt by you not liking me back.”

“Who said I didn’t like you back?” You finally say, a serious tone taking over.

It was now Nishinoya’s turn to be shocked. “You like me back?” he asks and you nod in response. “But I’m shorter than you how could you like me ba-”

“What does you being shorter than me have to do with any of this?” you interrupt his rambling with a look of genuine confusion and all Nishinoya can do is blush.

“Well, I don’t know really it’s just that Tsukishima said that someone like you would never go out with a shorter guy.” he looks down in embarrassment as he explains what Tsukishima had told him.

“That tall blondie? Now why would you ever listen him?” you ask Nishinoya and all he can do is shrug and you just shake your head before pulling Nishinoya in for a quick hug before looking at him again “I don’t care how tall you are, if you're shorter than me or taller than me. I like you for who you are. Your personality is one of the brightest ones I have ever seen. Your dedication to volleyball is amazing and I admire how you play on the court all the time. Everything about you is perfect, Nishinoya. Nothing can change my mind. Not you, not Tsukishima, not anyone.” You tell Nishinoya all the things you love about him and you can see his face get a little redder. “So does that mean you’ll go on a date with me?” he finally asks (more like blurts) causing you to giggle before grabbing his hand and nodding.

“I would love to go on a date with you, Noya.” you accept his invitation and then smirk “but first let’s go tell Tsukishima that he was stupid and that you’re all I could ask for.” you suggest going to look for the person slash reason Noya didn’t talk to you and ask you out sooner and he agrees and jumps in joy because he finally has the girl of his dreams.

[kalamity-jayne]

Sorry for asking but I am a cis male teenager (well, I thought I was.) but lately I have realized I think I might be a trans girl? I am very scared to drop my masculinity. How did you find out you were trans if that’s okay to ask?

Of course it's ok! I am always happy to help someone who is questioning their gender. However, this is actually a pretty loaded question, because while there is a lot of talk about "when my egg cracked" in trans circles, figuring out you're trans isn't always attributable to any one singular event. Some folks might crack through and emerge from their egg in one swift motion but that is not true for everyone, it certainly wasn't true for me. Sure I could tell about the moment the first crack in my shell appeared, but a single crack in the egg is a far cry from actually breaking out. For many it's a process that can involve a series of revelations and tends to require lots of self reflection and learning how to love yourself. So, there is no quick and easy answer for this. However, I think my story will have a number of different lessons relevant to your question.

Before getting into all that though, I feel I must point out that cisgender folks rarely ask themselves these kinds of questions and when they do entertain these thoughts it's brief and comes with very little agony. The fact you have gone so far as to reach out to trans woman for advice, the fact the you are clearly worried by the prospect of being trans, is a pretty clear indicator that you probably are trans. Regardless of whether you actually are transgender or not, I want you to know that either way, it's ok. You will be ok, no matter what conclusions you come to.

Now, the story of how I figured out I was trans. Bear in mind, the first “aha moment” was 20 yrs ago and things were very different back then. I was about 17yrs old at the time and the term transgender didn't have the currency then that it does now, there wasn't the robust set of terminology that we have today, there were far fewer resources to turn to, no social media, and the overall public opinion was significantly more hostile towards anything LGBT. Anyway, more below the cut.

I didn't follow the typical trans narrative of the time in the sense that, as a child I didn't really care about my clothes so long as my favorite cartoon characters were on 'em, I liked toys typically marketed towards boys, I looked like a boy and everyone referred to me as a boy. So I thought I was a boy. However, I do have a vague memory from early childhood, somewhere between the ages of 4-6, of sneaking into my mother’s room and stealing a pair of her satin underwear and trying it on (it surely would have been too big on me but I remember liking the texture of the fabric) and hiding it under my bed. This memory has since been confirmed during my adulthood by my brother who shared a room with me at the time and had apparently found the hidden stash.

From an early age I was explicitly shunted towards masculinity. I was regularly told to “stop acting like a girl,” and “quit crying like a girl,” and even at one point to “stop walking like a girl,” by my peers and one of my brothers. By the time I was a teenager I was doing my best to be as masculine as possible going so far as joining the highschool wrestling team, a sport that is as homophobic as it is homoerotic, and I hated every minute of it because being manly didn't feel natural to me (and it definitely didn't stop the bullying). It felt like I was trying to ice skate uphill. I fit in but only imperfectly for I was merely acting.

I was also very confused about my sexuality. I thought maybe I was gay or bisexual (turns out the latter) but that didn’t really explain what I was feeling. Around 17yrs old I got curious about transsexuals, thinking maybe the answers would be found there and hoped on to the early and oh so clunky internet. Now I knew of transsexuals conceptually but I didn't know anything about them. Sadly, pornography was really the only reliable way to actually see what a trans body looked like back then. I was stunned because the women I saw did not look at all the way I expected. I was blown away by how so many of them, genitalia aside, looked indistinguishable from cisgender women. And they were all absurdly beautiful. I felt an immediate attraction but there was something else I felt too, envy. And that realization was the first crack in my eggshell.

After that I couldn't get the thought of crossdressing out of my head. So, I dug through a box of my mother's old clothes and took a few items she no longer wore, an old white tennis skirt and a very very 70s sleeveless orange blouse. I was so comfortable in those clothes and when I looked at myself in the mirror I felt good, really good. So, I continued exploring, shaved off all of of my body hair, went to department stores that were open late at night to buy girl clothes (deathly afraid someone would recognize me), I would stay up late at night to watch HBO because at midnight they would occasionally air stuff about trans people, (I remember two documentary shorts in particular and the movie Soldier’s Girl) and I scoured the internet for more information. The internet search brought me to a website called TG list (at least I think that’s what it was called, this was 20yrs ago after all) which was a directory of resources ranging from The Breast Form Store (which still exists!), a myriad of gender identity quizzes (I took nearly every single one), and Susan’s Place.

Susan’s place was one of the few reliable places to hear from actual transgender adults. Unfortunately, while Susan's Place had a lot of useful information the forums there were full of horror stories, a never-ending supply of all the things those women had suffered. So needless to say, there was little to no positivity around transness to give me hope. I was afraid to call myself trans as a result, afraid of what it meant for my life, my future, and my physical safety (you have to remember that back then Mathew Shepard wasn’t old news, his tragedy was practically current events). So I called myself a crossdresser but for reasons I didn't understand at the time I deeply resented that label. I think deep down, no matter how much I tried to deny it and bury it, a part of knew I wanted to be a girl. So when I came out to my parents as a crossdresser and explicitly told them I wasn't trans, that I didn’t have any desire to transition to female, there was that lil voice at the back of my mind calling me a liar. That voice would follow me until my late 20s.

Coming out was a real struggle for me because not only did I think my life would literally be in jeopardy, I thought everyone would think I was making it up, having not followed the stereotypical models of transsexuality. When I came out to my parents they didn't disown me or anything but they were noticeably uncomfortable around me when I was in girl mode. At a certain point I needed their help (credit card) to buy a gaff for tucking and that was when my parents, out of a misguided desire to protect me, pushed me back into the egg. Because of their rejection I spent the rest of highschool and most of my college years trying to hold the egg together with even more denial and by doubling down on masculinity. While I did have some fun during my college years, on balance I was miserable and depressed. I chafed at my male costume and I knew I was lying to myself the entire time, and I hurt myself a great deal.

During my senior year of college I started privately dabbling with crossdressing again, the desire had been nagging at me incessantly. A short time after graduating I met my wife who accepted that side of me and she introduced me to the BDSM/kink community, and the overall culture of nonjudgmental acceptance there cracked the egg for good, because is provided spaces besides my own room where I felt safe being a girl. From that point on I slowly but surely came out of the egg, first calling myself a crossdresser, then genderfluid for awhile, then GENDA passed in NY making me an explicitly protected class and for the next 2 yrs I presented as a they/them genderqueer woman 100% full time without HRT (I was still reluctant to call myself a woman).

I wrestled a long time with the choice to go on HRT. Ultimately that was always a big stumbling block for me. Therapy had gotten me pretty far but I was still afraid of so much and was unsure I would be happy with the changes because my parents had initially rejected me as their daughter in very paternalistic fashion I struggled to trust my own instincts. I still struggle with that sometimes. Eventually, I befriended a trans woman in my neighborhood who pointed out HRT works very slowly and that it takes a long time for any permanent changes to take root. So, she suggested I give it a try and if it didn't feel right I could stop.

I was also taking gender identity quizzes again. Now most of these claim to be diagnostic and those ones a generally misogynistic garbage (they ask stupid questions like, “are you good at math?” and assign a gendered value to the answer) but I happened upon one that started with the disclaimer that it wasn't diagnostic and instead only offered questions that are good to think with. Two questions in particular were very helpful. The first asked, "If you could take a pill that would allow you to wake up tomorrow as a girl, would you take it?" My answer was a hesitant yes, but that yes was bolstered by the next question, "If you could take a pill that would allow you to wake up as a man, in your current body, but without any dysphoria or desires to be feminine, would you take it?" My answer was an emphatic no because that would have felt like killing an important part of myself off. I then at the age of 33yrs old started HRT and 4yrs in I am incredibly happy. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Now, I know that was a lot of fucking text to read but I wrote all of that because I know the prospect of maybe being a trans girl feels scary to you right now but I want to assure you that as daunting as it may seem there is so much about being a trans woman that is full of beauty and joy. I love my trans womanhood and despite the hardships, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. In fact the opposite is true. Knowing what I know now, I would give up almost everything in order to be a woman. So if you feel like you want to give girlhood a try, do it! You can take small incremental steps and you can always stop if it doesn’t feel right, either way you will gain a degree of self knowledge most cisgender people lack completely and that is absolutely priceless! Plus, unlike me when I was a teen, there’s all kinds of resources and information available to you now and an entire community of people ready to help you, and unlike the women in the forums from my past, we aren’t all gloom and doom.

As for your fear of giving up masculinity, don’t let that fear lure you into the denial trap like it did me. Denial is like quicksand, once you’re in it becomes hard to get out, the more you struggle the deeper in you go and it is so very suffocating. And the thing is, you actually don’t have to give it all up. Back when I was presenting full time as woman without HRT, I felt like I had to be ultra feminine all the time, full face of make-up, dress, heels, the whole nine yards. Now that I’m 4 yrs in with HRT I don’t feel that pressure anymore and have since reclaimed certain aspects of masculinity I actually liked. I sill like presenting high femme from time to time but these days I mostly rock a soft butch aesthetic, flannel/t-shirt, jeans and the only makeup I wear daily is just a lil bit of blush. At certain point you become comfortable and realize that gender is just a sandbox to play in and experiment. Masculine and Feminine are just concepts, they aren’t real! so regardless of being cis or trans, don’t let those mere concepts box you in! Just do what feels natural and right to you!

I hope all of that was helpful to you anon, and that at the very least you walk away from this knowing you don’t have to have all of the answers about yourself right now. Now, I don't no the particulars of your situation, so I’m happy to speak with you further if you have follow up questions, just send another anon.

Best of luck to you anon, I am rooting for you!

Big hugs,

Mother Calamity

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> jung wooyoung x reader warning(s) -> angst, mentions of neglect, mentions of depression words -> 1.9K

abstract -> he just wants to enjoy everything she gives him... while he still can.

wooyoung's perspective

“Wooyoung, stop acting like this!! She’s pregnant… don’t you understand!” he yelled at me. Maybe he’s right… It's not good for her health.

“Yah! You’ve got to do something about this hybrid of yours!” the baby shower guest said… “I know… it's just hard you know? He was my mom’s hybrid” she said… I know I was probably hurting her again.

“Please!” I begged and he scoffed. “We’re here for the baby… not you” he said as he grabbed y/n’s book from my hands and put it back. I missed her.

“Hasn’t he been acting weird?” “One minute he’s jumping off the walls then he’s in a corner?”

“Wooyoung?” I heard as I saw the familiar figure. His name was Kun…. I think? I remember seeing him around y/n. 

“Oh? You know him?” my owner said and he nodded. “He was the neighbor of an old friend” he confessed and they scoffed. I don’t think they really liked her…

“Why are you admitting him here?” the doctor asked and they sighed. “He’s been having these mood swings and it's bad for my baby,” she said and I sighed… I did another thing wrong? “And for your health, honey,” he said. Was I hurting them again?

“I don’t think mood swings are bad for children. In fact, maybe Wooyoung just needs some atten–""Are you telling us what's good for our child?!” they yelled. “No, of course not,” Kun said clearly dejected.

“Well, he isn’t our responsibility anymore,” they said and I felt confused. “This is his information and the application,” they said… they were giving me up?

“Of course, we’ll do that right now”

How long have I been here? It seems like too long…

I smelt a familiar scent… it was coming from a panther hybrid. He was in their red code protocol… was he dangerous?  His application had a clear red highlight… San was his name. 

“You smell familiar” I must've talked out loud since he looked at me but didn’t answer… “Who’s your owner?” I asked… maybe it was them I knew?

“I don’t have an owner, '' he said but it didn’t make sense… “You smell like someone though… it's faint but you don’t have the medicinal scent from here or an adoption center” I said but he scoffed clearly annoyed at the thought

“Hmmm… y/nnie” I muttered… it's the only name I could think of “No way she’s your owner… why would you be here then?” I thought out loud… I missed her. 

“She adopted me two days ago,” he said and I was shocked… When was the last time I felt this much energy? “SHE’S YOUR OWNER?!” I asked and he growled… “Not anymore hopefully,” he said… I was confused. Why wasn’t he happy?

“How can you not be grateful?” I said and he glared while saying... “I’m not a pet,” 

“I would love it if she came to rescue me… I haven’t seen her in years” I said and he didn’t say anything else but an employee came saying she was here for him

“y/n is here?!” I asked and the employee seemed shocked. “Hmm? You know his owner Wooyoung?” the young employee asked and I nodded. “She used to be my neighbor! Can I see her?” I asked  hopefully that he’d say yes but… he didn't. 

“How’d you get so lucky?” I said the stupid panther and he scoffed. “This isn’t luck, it's a curse,” I said and he scoffed. 

They let me see her! She wanted to see me… but not even she wanted me.

Rejected again… I'd never find an owner.

I owe it a lot to the others though… here I was. With the woman I've liked since her highschool days… happy with her and my new best friend! Everything was in the past, she would never abandon me. Right?

I mean the panther and her are now mated…

I was an outcast yet again. “Why are you so quiet?” San asked and I smiled. “Tired,” I said, hoping he’d believe it. I’m only here because of him, she wouldn’t have adopted me otherwise. I was just his plus two. 

“You’re acting like you did back four months ago,” he said. Four months have passed since I lived in those kennels. I don’t miss it… not even a little bit. 

“I’m just tired,” I muttered while laying down on my bed. He didn’t say anything… Instead he left the room. 

I wanna enjoy it all before I lose it all. 

I guess losing it came faster than I thought. I was sitting in the same seat that they abandoned me in. Looking at Kun and the doctor. “You said your visit was because of Wooyoung’s mood right?” he asked. My mood? 

“Yeah… recently Wooyoung has been very down, even San agrees' ' she said while looking at me worriedly. “Wooyoung, do you wanna say anything about how you've been adjusting?” Kun asked and I shook my head. “I love it!” I said with a big grin. It must’ve not been convincing though. 

“What would you like to do?” the doctor asked y/n and she sighed. Was she gonna abandon me now? “I don't know, '' she confessed. 

“We can sign him up for therapy sessions, behavior training, or it might be the home that's the problem,” he said. “If it's the home, then Wooyoung you’d have to tell us and you’ll be taken from her care–” “NO!” I cut off… “I… I'm sorry I didn’t mean to yell” I muttered and I felt her hand rub my arm up and down.  

“Wooyoung, so you like your new home?” he asks me and I nod. I loved it… I really did.

“I’m sorry, Wooyoung but y/n I think it's best if you leave him here at least for the night. We’ll do a check-up, do a mental analysis, and see what’s the problem” the doctor said and I hugged her arm tightly.

“No, please don’t leave me here” I cried and he she looked at me worried. “I don’t think it's a good choice Doyoung–” “Trust us" he asked and she sighed.

She looked at me with a sad expression. “Wooyoung,” she said and I tightened my grip. “Just for today. I’ll pick you up in the morning” she said with her soft smile and I could cry as she petted my head. Why was she leaving me so soon? 

“If anything goes wrong call me” she told them and they nodded as she waved at me with a  soft smile. 

Please comeback...

-> y/n perspective

I couldn’t sleep tonight. San stayed with me all night waiting for me to fall asleep but he did first. I was worried about Wooyoung and why he was acting differently. 

He seemed to have faked his smiles… acted more down and was overall more tired. 

I could only hope he was okay and that he was healthy. 

The morning couldn’t have come sooner. I silently got ready so I didn’t wake up the panther as he probably didn’t get enough sleep trying to stay awake with me. 

I got there early and saw Haechan who tried telling me everything was gonna be fine. 

“Kun is here, y/nnie!” Haechan said as he led me to his office where I didn’t see the lovable fox. “Is he okay?” I asked and he smiled. “You look like you didn’t get any sleep?” he asked and I glared. He chuckled as he put his hands in the air playfully.

“He’s completely healthy… and he’s really happy with you, maybe a little too happy, '' he said, now confusing me. “Wooyoung was abandoned and his owner died. He actually originally asked for you to adopt him and you know that… but with years of neglect and being told his behavior is too much it has affected his mental health. He has an attachment disorder linked with his fear of abandonment.” he explained and I nodded. Was he worried I'd do that to him?

“He tells me San chose you as his mate… and Wooyoung confessed to having this obsession with you. He has since you were in school…” he said and I was shocked. San kept teasing me about it but I didn’t think it was true. 

“So what's the problem?” I am still confused. Kun only sighed… “He thinks you’ll abandon him because San chose you as a mate. That you’ll now neglect him and eventually leave him like everyone else” he explains and I felt sad that he’d think that of me. 

“It's more of his insecurity and his past experiences affecting his mood. You’d just need to give him as much attention as you can and reassure him” he explained and I nodded. 

“Jaemin, will take you to him,” he said and I nodded as I saw Jaemin here shortly waving at me happily. “y/n!!” he said and I smiled. “I’m happy that Wooyoung has you. He used to be so down and always caused Doyoung-hyung to seek medical attention due to not eating” he explained. 

All I could remember was happy Wooyoung who’d see me after my classes. He’d be the one scolding me to eat and make sure I took some rest after studying to not overwork myself. 

“Wooyoung, you have a visitor~” Jaemin said as I saw Wooyoung look at me with sad and relieved eyes. “y/n…” he muttered in disbelief. 

I smiled softly. 

“Let’s go home?” I asked and he nodded. He took my hand as I put his collar back on and we said goodbye to the staff. I held his hand tightly as he stood by closely to me. 

When we got outside I decided to stop. “Wooyoung?” I asked and he looked at me confused.

“Remember in high school that I told you I would always go get street food for dinner?” I asked and he chuckled. “Yeah! But that's not good for you, especially with how much you used to study. You needed a proper meal!” He scolded me and I smiled. “Wanna try it?” I asked and he smiled softly.

“It can’t be better than my food” he challenged and I smiled. “Nothing is better than your cooking… I just think it's nice to have from time to time?” I asked and he nodded. 

“Ok!” he said, now happily looping our arms together. As we walked his tail wagged slightly. “Hey, Wooyoung?” I asked and he looked at me again. “I could never abandon you. I promise that you’re stuck with me forever” I said and his smile dropped softly as his eyes turned teary-eyed. “You don’t mean that. Don’t make promises you can’t keep” he muttered and I smiled. 

“I do mean it! You’re stuck with me!! I promise I owe you so much Wooyoung. More than you’d imagine… in high school, you were keeping me going so thank you” I said and he smiled. “I owe you a lot also…” he said and I smiled. 

“San loves you too. You’ve seen how he is… the only reason he’s given me a chance was for you. So I owe you everything… because of you I'm no longer alone” I confessed and he hugged me. “And because of you and San, I'm not either,” he muttered. 

“You’re stuck with me” he said and I smiled. “I wouldn’t have it any other way!” I said happily as we finally made it to the street food place. 

“So what should we have first?” he asked me and I shrugged. 

“We have forever to try new things. There's no rush!”

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

[hqbaby]

three — yours

fuck ur instincts — suna x reader & atsumu x reader

you and suna are just fooling around—so why does he care so much when you start falling in love with someone else?

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 1.9k content. fwb, swearing, car sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, use of pet names (pretty girl, babe, sweet girl)

“How do you know if you like someone?”

“If they have a buttload of cash.”

“How much is a buttload?”

“I dunno, like a hundred million yen?”

“And it has to be in cash?”

“You can probably count assets too.”

“Sounds sensible.”

You and Oikawa are on the floor of his dorm room busy folding pieces of origami paper into rings. Somehow, you had both convinced each other that, if you weren’t able to make a thousand, you’d be single forever and die on the toilet. Neither of you are willing to take that risk.

“Hold on,” he says, head shooting up to look at you.

“Don’t stop!” you scold, finishing the ring he had disregarded. “Think of the toilet death, Tooru.”

His lips spread out into a grin. “Why do you wanna know if you like someone?” he asks teasingly. “Is there something I should know about? Or, more importantly, someone?”

“What? No. Ew boys. Cooties.”

“It wouldn’t happen to be the boy you’ve been seeing, would it?” he presses, ignoring how you urge him to get back to the origami. “The one Iwa said you gave your number to?”

You groan, flopping onto the carpet and avoiding your best friend’s gaze. “It’s not like that, okay?”

He squeals, like actually squeals. “Y/N’s got a crush!” he proclaims in a sing-song voice before proceeding to make kissy faces. “Is that why you’ve been so busy this week?”

“I haven’t been busy.”

“You so have,” he says. “I don’t even know who the boy is! Iwa never told me, said I should hear it from you.”

You gulp. “Right, about that…”

Oikawa looks at you expectantly. “Yes?”

“He’s kinda… your teammate.”

Suddenly, his face turns dark, a scowl now taking over his features. “Y/N,” he says in a low voice, “What have I told you about dating volleyball players?”

“Don’t… do it?” you answer tentatively. 

“Exactly! Don’t do it!” he tells you. “We’re all assholes! You know that more than anyone.”

He’s right, of course, you know he is. You’ve been friends with him since you were in middle school, inseparable since highschool. You were there to witness all the broken hearts that he and the rest of his teammates left in their wake. They didn’t mean to do it most of the time, but they did it anyway. It’s why he never let you date any of them and made sure everyone knew you were off-limits. It’s also why he never introduced you to his college teammates. He didn’t even want you to know their names.

You wonder what your best friend would say if he knew that you were not only going out with one of his teammates but also sleeping with another. You guess you’ll cross that bridge when you get to it—and you hope you never do.

“Who?”

“What?”

“Who are you seeing?”

You offer him a guilty smile as you sit up. “Atsumu?”

His eye twitches. “He’s literally the other setter, Y/N!”

“But he’s nice!”

“That cocky asshole is not nice!”

“You’re just jealous,” you shoot back at him.

“Of course I’m jealous.” He frowns. “And I don’t want you to get hurt when the pain is clearly avoidable.”

The two of you are quiet. Oikawa picks up a piece of paper and folds it up into a ring, brows knitted together in worry. As much as he hates this, he doesn’t remember the last time you actually considered that you might like someone. You were never open to these kinds of things. You dated guys, sure, but they weren’t anything serious. He hates Atsumu, but he wonders if there might be more to him than meets the eye. You’ve clearly seen something he hasn’t.

“Look, I get it,” you say, finally breaking the silence. “He’s not… perfect. He’s messy, he talks too loud, his car’s a mess—but he’s honest, you know? And I like spending time with him. I just wanna have some fun.”

He sighs and looks back up at you. “And it’s not serious?”

You nod. “Not serious at all.”

Your day is going horribly. With your summer semester still a week away, your coach has decided to take advantage of your extra time and make practice more gruesome than ever before. It doesn’t help that you’re more exhausted than usual, what with Atsumu suddenly taking up your days and Suna taking up your nights. And today, all your fatigue comes crashing down on you as you fall from the top of a pyramid.

“Y/N!” Yukie exclaims as the spotters catch you just in time. “Are you alright?”

You let yourself lie on the floor for a moment, staring up at the high ceiling of the gym. “I think I’m dying.”

Kaori holds her hand out for you to take and pulls you up. “Don’t be so dramatic,” she says with a fond smile. “Come on, we just gotta finish this last run.”

You turn to your coach and offer a bright smile and a thumbs-up before heading back to your starting position with an extra pep in your step. When you look back at your friends though, your face falls, practically wanting to weep from exhaustion. As the music starts playing and you go through the routine again, you wonder if the scholarship is even worth all this torture.

“You look rough,” Kaori tells you in the locker room afterwards. “Lip gloss?”

“Yes please,” you say, catching the tube she throws at you. You turn to the mirror and swipe the strawberry gloss on your lips, smacking them together before sighing. “I’m not even taking classes yet but I already feel so busy.”

Yukie snickers. “That’s what you get for going at two boys at once.”

“Yukie! Don’t be so loud!”

Your friends laugh at your panic. There’s no one else in the room and, even if there was, it’s not like they would even know what you were talking about.

“Relax,” Kaori says. “Why are you so worried about people finding out anyway?”

You shrug, putting the lip gloss back in her bag. “I don’t know. It’s just… weird. Rin doesn’t even want people knowing we’re friends and Atsumu’s still too new to mean anything.”

“Do they know about each other?” Yukie asks curiously.

“Kinda,” you say. “Atsumu knows we’re not exclusive and Rin knows I’m sorta seeing someone. It’s weird, I dunno.”

Kaori pats you on the back. “That’s college for you, baby.”

The three of you head out of the locker room, complaining about which muscles are sore today and being pleasantly surprised by which ones aren’t. You have the next day off though, which is rare and great and you’re all looking forward to it.

“You sure you don’t need a ride?” Kaori asks when you get to her car.

You nod. “I’m good.”

“If you say so,” she says, giving you a quick hug before getting in the driver’s seat. “See you on Monday!”

“See you on Monday!” you wave as the car pulls out of the parking lot and drives away. When they’re gone, you take your phone out of your pocket and sit down on one of the benches outside the gym.

rin: u done?

you: yep, r u near?

rin: look up pretty girl

Your eyes lift to see him walking towards you with a smirk. He isn’t wearing anything special, just a t-shirt and some jeans. You’re pretty sure he’s even wearing your pink Hello Kitty socks under those shoes of his (the ones he swears he didn’t steal). He seems completely normal to you—so why does he look so good?

You stand up and crash your lips into his, your fingers coming up to grab the fabric of his collar. He kisses you back immediately and holds your face in his hands. Everything about it is rough and hot and wet. If anyone saw you now, there’s definitely no way they wouldn’t know what the two of you are to each other.

You pull back from the kiss, forehead pressed against his. “I want you.”

His eyes pierce into yours. There’s something so intimate about the way he looks at you, something so raw and real. “You have me,” he growls. “Of course you do.”

The two of you manage to make it to his car before you’re on each other again. You’re lying in the back seat with Suna’s body hovering above yours, both your lips pressed together in fierce competition. His tongue slips into your mouth and you let out a moan as he moves closer to you.

He yanks both your gym shorts and underwear down in one motion, sliding his fingers between your legs. He snickers. “So wet for me, babe.” 

“Touch me, Rin,” you say breathlessly. “Please.”

He pulls away from your lips, ignoring your whines at the loss of contact as he moves down to bring his face to your cunt. “Only because you asked so nicely,” he tells you before eating you out like his life depends on it. “Tastes so good, sweet girl.”

You manage to lift your head to look at him, his head between your thighs. It’s depraved, the way he laps at you, the way he kisses your clit and licks at your folds. His hair is a mess and you can practically see your slick dripping down his chin. He puts one hand on your thigh to keep it from closing and uses the other hand to slide a finger inside of you.

“Fuck, baby. Don’t stop.”

“I don’t plan on it, babe,” he says against your heat, crooking his finger just right so it sends shockwaves through your body. “Always so good for me, aren’t you?”

A moan rips out of your throat. “Yes, Rin, yes!”

“This pussy is all for me, isn’t it?”

You nod, eyes closed as your back arches. You’re so close. So, so close. Practically seeing stars. “All yours. All yours,” you chant. He sucks at your clit. “Fuck!”

“Whose?”

“Yours, Rin!” you scream. “All for you, Rin!”

With one more stroke of his finger right against your sweet spot, your high comes crashing down on you, the orgasm wracking your entire body. You try to close your legs to find some relief, but Suna keeps them wide open as he continues to spear his finger into you, riding out your high. The fucked out look on your face is all he needs in that moment.

When you’ve settled down, he pulls his finger out and sticks it in his mouth, tasting you on his tongue. You groan at the sight.

“Not bad, babe,” he says, grabbing one of the wipes he keeps in his car and cleaning you up. He’s gentle about it, careful not to touch the sensitive spots and apologizing when he does. He knows how sore you can get. He knows your body more than anyone else does, even yourself.

You pull your shorts back up and the two of you lie together for a while, your head on his chest. Then, it hits you.

“Do you think anyone saw us?”

“That’s a weird way of thanking me for the greatest orgasm of your life.”

You push him away playfully. “Get over yourself,” you say. “Not even in the top 5.”

“Top 10?”

“More like 50.”

“Hey!”

You turn your head to look at him, both of you smiling. “That was nice,” you say. “Not great, but nice.”

He rolls his eyes at you and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Whatever. When we get home, I’m fucking my way to number 1.”

“Game on.”

notes. idk about you guys but i would totally let a guy like suna finger me in a parking lot. not like speaking from experience or anything but... yeah. anyway!! that was the first smutty chapter but there will be more hihihi :>

i'd love to hear what you think of the series so far!! looking forward to sharing more with you all ;)

[jaegersolstice]

Suburban Legends ft. satoru gojo

For the shame of being young, drunk, and alone; prologue.

hockey player!gojo x fem!reader, friends to…a complicated relationship, college & highschool au, angst, fluff, everything in between wc: 1k

You hate the smell of alcohol. 

Not just the potent, sickening scent of the liquid – but that mixed with sweating, gyrating bodies in someone’s (way too big) family mansion and the weight of Satoru’s unsaid words hanging over you. He prevaricates, words slipping from the tip of his tongue yet not quite planting themselves in the ground, mindlessly tracing the school logo on his hockey jacket.  

He had once told you that he would knock back his future: take over the family business, lounge on millions of dollars, live the playboy lifestyle — he didn’t have much of a choice. It wasn’t that anymore. You guys had just graduated high school – bright-eyed, bushy tailed, balancing at the top of the world – and long lost count of the amount of the drinks you’ve downed tonight. 

An arm thrown over the back of the gray sofa, brown liquid sloshing over into his hand, Satoru says it like he’s rejecting another obsessive freshman begging for his number. 

“I’m thinking about going pro– you know, doing the real thing.” In a moment, your feet are covered in brown liquid, your cup already rolling between the feet of the drunk teenagers, cool moisture seeping into your white beaters (Satoru chuckles something about you being clumsy, grabbing the nearest napkin and attempting to soak it up).  

You can’t help but laugh. Soft snickers escape your lipgloss smudged lips (it shines on the edge of your solo cup), and Satoru’s icy gaze meets yours, mouth half opened in amusement, asking you if he said something funny in his whiny voice. You practically tumble off the couch, hunched over in your fit of laughter. In what world did Satoru care about hockey? And the way he (declared!) said it, elbowing you like it was an inside joke between the two of you. 

In all honesty, you couldn’t help but feel entertained and slightly betrayed, like he stole something that was yours. It was you, really, who encouraged him to take hockey seriously. 

 +

Freshman year: chemistry — yes, you remember it quite clearly. Lanky legs sprawled across the lab table during a free period, midnight hoodie hanging off one shoulder, arm gesturing widely and revealing his starch white shirt with every throw of a hand.

“This old man, I swear he knows nothin’ about me and still tries to, like, dictate everything about my life. I mean I literally–I literally told him I want nothing to do with his stupid business and still…you know, he could have just fucked again and had another kid–”  Face turning redder by the second, you smacked Satoru’s shoulder with the edge of your cracked phone (“Your always so inappropriate!”) 

He wasn’t laughing, though. His gaze was far off, landing somewhere between your ear and the classroom door, eyes pinched as if he’s trying to remember a chemical equation (Satoru has never been good at chemistry, honestly). Your eyes fell on his frosted lashes, tapping gracefully against his pillowy cheeks, tracing that up to the fluid slope of his nose and its acute tip, and his lips—

“Find a distraction.” You croaked, maybe saying it more to yourself then you were to him. “You skip hockey practices, get hurt on purpose, and always talk back to the coach. Just try being a little more serious ‘bout it.” You shrugged at him, sliding his strawberry gum from his front backpack pocket and popping a piece into your dry mouth. Brows pinched, his wide eyes followed the shape of your tongue snapping and clicking your gum around in your mouth (He looked more confused than anything.)

Truly, Satoru and Suguru had tried out for the hockey team beginning of freshman year as a joke – Suguru bet that he wouldn’t last a month in a school sport, and, big whoop, it's been a whole three months. Suguru had taken over the goalie position, always a bit bruised, and Satoru-- well, he was Satoru. Obviously, he was good as center, but he just didn’t care enough. Besides, the rest of the team was just a bit too slow to get anywhere far. 

Nonetheless, it was shit advice, and you knew it. 

“Or maybe you could get a girlfriend,” Suguru threw out, obnoxiously sliding his chair over to your table, lightly shoving Satoru’s head and bumping his knees into yours. The pair fell into mindless banter, breezily carried away into some other topic of conversation. 

+

You compose yourself, dragging your fingertips under your lightly eyelined eyes, your body back upright as your head bounces off the back of the couch. Clutching Satoru’s bony hand against your chest with both of yours, you level your gaze with his. 

“Okay, I need you to be like, so real with me right now, you don’t even like hockey! Like, I swear it was just yesterday–”

“Freshman year was three years ago–”

“Three years is so little time! People spend their whole life working towards being pro! I mean it’s not like you’ll be drafted that soon or anything, Satoru…” You trail off as he rips his hand from your grip, your hands falling into your lap at the sudden loss of warmth from your palms. 

You know you fucked up when he lets out a small, pained chuckle, gaze darting away from yours into the sea of people.

“That was bad, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come off so harsh, I just…I don’t know? I mean there’s still time, and you could still explore in college. Only if you want that is!” You don’t know why you keep talking, keep protesting. 

This should be a good thing, shouldn’t it? Recently, he’s had a spark in his eye when he talks about it, hockey. You just should let him do what he wants and, besides, the plans you made back in freshman year, before he ever joined hockey, will be what they’re meant to be: just words. 

Your heart has a hard time believing that for the rest of the night.

______________________________________________________________

note: okay so i can't believe that i'm finally writing this, i've been meaning to for sooooo long. This prologue is very vague because i didn't want to pack a bunch of stuff into one chapter, but rather explore it in the next few. It is also not the best, but I kinda wanted something to just start it off. I still have no idea how long it's gonna be BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

series masterlist (coming soon)

[kisskiss-slashslash]

Hello can I request a jason voorhees x reader oneshot were the reader is like mabel pines, a silly goofball ray of sunshine and they have a brother who is the complete opposite and he wants to try and spot the infamous crystal lake killer so he and the reader joins a school trip to the camp for a week and the brother is annyied at how social and silly the reader us and he just stays in his cabin looking up ways to catch jason and the reader goes out to a flower field to make flower crowns and sees him, not knowing that it's jason voorhees and sneaks behind him and places a flower crown on his head and over the week the see eachother in secret and on the last day the brother is frustrated and gives up on finding jason but then the reader shows up on jasons shoulders and is like "hey bro meet my new boyfriend, Jay"

Sounds like a lot of fun 😁

Jason with a Mabel and Dipper Pines-like duo

You always teased your brother for his obsession with serial killers and the supernatural, and you don’t intend on stopping soon.

Coming to Camp Crystal Lake had been his idea; right now, he was convinced that he could somehow catch the legendary Crystal Lake killer.

You didn’t really care either way; this was a summer camp, and that meant so many opportunities for fun!

“And remember, keep your eyes peeled”, your brother cautioned you as you stepped off the bus.

“Aw, don’t worry. I can take care of myself.” You poked him in the ribs and blew a raspberry, which caused him to roll his eyes.

“This is serious!”

You giggled. “Come on, we should have fun!”

“You always have fun”, he grumbled, baffled by your ability to make a game of pretty much everything. “We’re not kids anymore, you know?”

“Alright, Mr. Adult. So just because we turned 18 last month, we have to always be super serious?”

Annoyed, he pushes a hunting knife into your hand. “Whatever. Keep this on you incase you need to defend yourself. I’ll go to our cabin to prepare for the hunt.”

Another girl from your highschool class catches up to you and dryly tells you:”You two are both weirdos.”

“Thanks for noticing!”, you tell her with the brighest, most sincere smile.

While your brother is busy “making plans”, you decide to explore a little. The forest around Crystal Lake is vast and full of interesting plants and critters. At some point, you find a small clearing where some beautiful flowers grow, and decide to make flower crowns to give to the other campers. Who doesn’t like a flower crown?

Once one is done, you spot a tall man walking through the forest around the clearing, and you figure that he must be part of the camp as well. So you quickly sneak up behind him and throw a flowercrown up on his head. It lands a bit askew, but it stays, and he stops and turns around, wide-eyed, once he touched the fragile crown and confirmed that it was indeed just flowers.

“Hi! Nice to meet you! Are you working at the camp?”

He doesn’t answer, so you think to yourself “oh, he’s the strong, silent type”.

“What’s your name?”, you ask further. Again, no reply, and you are so lost in the one-sided conversation that you don’t notice how absolutely baffled the man is at your friendliness.

Your brother is so caught up in his planning for the next few days that he doesn’t even question why you seem to disappear every day. But finally, the last day of camp has come, and he camee up with precisely nothing. Until you come back with Jason, casually holding his hand.

“Meet my new boyfriend!”

Your brother looks at you in horror. “Whaaaat the- Get away from him, that’s the killer!”

For a second, the bright smile fades form your face. “Rude.” But it returns as soon as you turn back to Jason. “Don’t listen to him. My brother is a bit crazy about these kinds of stories.”

And as you walk out with Jason by your side, your brother desperately tries to stammer out another warning, too terrified to speak clearly.

[italiansteebie]

Steve has been flirting with Eddie relentlessly, and apparently everyone notices except Eddie.

So, after months of trying to get Eddie’s attention to no avail, he gives up and pulls away. Completely.

And it leave’s Eddie reeling. What did he do? He thought they were friends! Then all of a sudden the guy won’t even look at him. He gets his feelings hurt, and he gets mean. It’s a defense mechanism he’s not proud of. 

They're sitting in Steve’s house, as he so graciously lets Eddie host Hellfire in his Living Room and Dustin’s been jabbering away about how they should make an NPC for Steve in their next campaign. Eddie doesn’t get it. Steve won’t even talk to him anymore so why the hell would he include the guy in his game? In his storyline. So he scoffs, cutting Dustin off.

“What’s he gonna do? Stand there and look pretty? That’s all he’s good for anyways.” He mutters the last part, but clearly not quiet enough because the look on Steve’s face is absolutely distraught. Everyone’s looking at him now, “What?” He snaps. Most of them turn away, watching Steve as he climbs the stairs and locks himself in his room. 

“Dude. What the fuck?” Dustin shouts, not even bothering to censor himself. “What?” He finds himself asking, he didn’t expect Dustin to take Steve’s side. “Why would you say that? Steve is like… Super insecure.” Eddie shrugs, “Maybe I would have found that out if he didn’t start fucking ignoring me?” 

This catches Robin’s attention. She had followed Steve upstairs and was trying to talk to him through the door, but down she was bounding down, marching towards Eddie with a look on her face he’d never seen before. “Ignore you? Eddie, you might be the dumbest person on the planet.” She was positively growling at him. 

“Yeah! Bucks, ignoring me! We were friends! Nd all of a sudden, poof!” He was confused, why was everyone blaming him for this? 

Robin groaned, “He. Liked. You. You fucking idiot,” She stabbed him in the chest with her finger, annunciating her words with it. And that. That sent Eddie into another dimension. “No, he didn’t. Steve is straight.” He said, more trying to convince himself that he didn’t just fuck himself over, than as a statement. 

Robin’s face softened. “Dude. You are, so… Ugh. Just… go talk to him.” She shoved Eddie in the direction of the stairs. 

He was face to face with Steve’s door, he knocked softly. “I’m okay, Robs. I’m just giving them some space.” He could hear the tears that clogged up Steve’s throat. He cleared his own before softly saying, “It’s Eddie. I- I want to apologize.” He could hear fumbling around before the door clicked open. If hearing Steve cry wasn’t enough, seeing the tear streaks on his face tore his heart in half. “Oh, Steve.” He whispered, cursing himself. Steve waved a hand, “It’s okay, Eddie, I get it. You don’t like me, it’s fine. I’ll be okay.” His voice was wobbly, and he looked like he wanted to be anywhere else than talking to Eddie right now. Eddie scrubbed a hand over his face, “I fucked up really bad, Steve.” He sighed. 

“I do like you. I thought you started ignoring me, I thought, maybe. I dunno. That you hated me again.”

“Eddie, I never hated you. Literally ever. Even in highschool I thought you were like, the coolest. I tried to get Tommy H. to leave you alone, but he-” Steve swallowed hard, “He threatened to out me, if I kept trying to protect you, I couldn’t- My dad, he… Yeah.” And suddenly Eddie remembers the terrified look on Steve’s face every time they walked past, he thought it was about him, not for him. “I’m sorry, Steve. I really shouldn't have said that, and I don’t really think it’s true… I just. When you just up and started ignoring me, I got defensive.”

Steve looked at him, “I wasn’t ignoring you, I was- I was giving you space! Eddie. I’ve been, flirting with you for months and-” 

“You were flirting with me?”

“Yes! Eddie! That, what do you think I meant when I said Tommy H. would out me? God! I thought you didn't like me! I was taking the hint! I was… Giving you space,”

Eddie slapped a hand over his face. “I’m so dumb,” “No, Eddie…” “Steve. I had no idea you were flirting with me, I didn't even know you’re queer until two minutes ago! God… I’m so sorry.”

Steve just looked at him before cracking a smile, “Wow, Eds. You really are clueless.” Eddie giggled, “So I’ve heard.” He grabbed Steve’s hand. “I really am sorry though. I’m not good with emotions, or people… Can we try again?” Steve nodded, a soft smile gracing his lips, “Yeah, we can try again.” 

“I’m Eddie, I think you’re the hottest, most precious, thing I’ve ever seen. Wanna go on a date?”

“I’m Steve, your hair is prettier than mine and I wanna spend every waking moment with you. I would love to go on a date.” 

They returned downstairs, hand in hand, with matching smiles. Robin grinned at them, “So, Eddie. I see you’ve stopped being an idiot.” A dopey grin spread across his face, “Yeah,” He drawled, turning to Steve, looking at him like he hung the stars themselves. Steve returned the look right back. 

They were broken apart by a loud groan. “Now we gotta deal with that? Ugh. Go back to being stupid!” Erica teased, her tone was light. The group laughed at that, happy to have the tension in the house gone. “Alright! Let's play some DnD!” Dustin cheered. Eddie scoffed. 

“What is this? A movie? The campaign isn’t even finished being written!”

[sad-eyed-lady-of-the-paperbacks]

Here are some other misc. thoughts I had about chapter 2.

(Even though I’m technically using Pevear & Volokhonsky for this read-along, I really do gravitate to McDuff’s wording, so unless otherwise indicated that’s what I’ll be quoting from here)

I love McDuff’s rendering of the chapter title, “He Gets the First Son Off His Hands”—not even “his first son,” just “the first son.” Pevear & Volokhonsky do it pretty good too: “The First Son Sent Packing.” But I just like the—I don’t know, passivity in McDuff. He just gets him off his hands

The fact that Fyodor was simultaneously “making everyone’s lives a misery with his tears and complaints” and “turning his house into a den of depravity” is so interesting. One is tempted to find his tears insincere, but there’s that quote from the first chapter: “Both versions may very well be true—that is, that he rejoiced at his release and wept for her who released him, all at the same time. In most cases, people, even wicked people, are far more naive and simple-hearted than one generally assumes. And so are we.” (P&V) While the narrator assures us that there was no love on either side of the marriage, and that he appeared not to have been physically attracted to her despite her beauty, exactly what it is that he did feel for Adelaida Ivanovna, and what he felt at the time of her desertion and then at her death, might be more complicated than we’re ever going to understand.

“…the three-year-old Mitya was taken into the care of Grigory, the faithful manservant of the house, and had the latter not tended to him there might well have been no one to change the little boy’s wretched shirt.” For some reason that little detail is so heartbreaking. Thinking about how grubby a little toddler’s shirt gets, and that no one would have changed it if not for Grigory. The specificity of that detail really paints a picture of the neglect.

Interesting how the Miusovs intervened to save Adelaida’s property from Fyodor, but when it came to saving her child? Not a peep from them at first. Not that that seems to have been deliberate, just worth noting perhaps.

The fact that even if Fyodor did remember him, he still would have sent him to the izba with Grigory because a little 3yo would really cramp his style when he’s trying to have, to borrow a phrase from @an-inhabitant-of-carcosa “one man frat parties”

Pyotr Alexandrovich Miusov is such a Character. We all know him. He’s just dying for any opportunity to tell you that he almost participated in the 1848 Paris barricades. That “almost” is “one of the most gratifying memories of his youth.”

Miusov engaged in a drawn-out and probably frivolous property dispute with the neighbouring monastery because he feels it’s his civic duty. But like @confessionofanardentheart pointed out, he also owned 1,000 serfs until they were freed.

Miusov used to fancy his cousin but it clearly wasn’t requited (and this would have been the late 1830s so he wouldn’t have even been able to wow her with his almost being an insurgent in 1848) and this is partly why he wants to assume responsibility for baby Mitya

He shows up all indignant at Fyodor and declares that he himself will undertake the upbringing and education of the little boy. And Fyodor decides that even though he already looks like the Worst Dad, it would be hilarious actually to concoct this whole bit wherein he is learning for the very first time that he even has a son.

(The narrator is correct in saying that the tendency of Fyodor Pavlovich to pretend and act out these absurd rôles, even in ways that actively make him look worse, is common in a lot of people. We’ve all definitely know this guy as well.)

The fact that Miusov was so indignant at Fyodor for abandoning and forgetting the child…and then proceeded to do just that

Baby Mitya being passed from home to home like a foster kid. No wonder he didn’t finish highschool and led such a disorderly existence. The fact that the narrator can’t even be bothered to fully recount all the homes he went through

Despite having been taken away from his father, Mitya inherits Fyodor’s penchant for drinking and chasing after skirts, but it seems without any of his financial shrewdness.

It’s absolutely diabolical that Fyodor is possibly enriching himself further off of Adelaida’s estate despite her family’s earlier interference. And he’s willing to bamboozle his own son to do it.

We learn so much about Dmitri as others perceive him here. All of it is accurate, but as to whether there’s more to him beneath this irresponsible and easily-duped exterior, we’ll have to wait and see

That second to last line gives a definite sense of foreboding and impending doom! One of Dostoevsky’s influences was gothic literature, and he is very good at building and sustaining a sense of looming threat. The sense of a catastrophe hanging over this crumbling family is very gothic.

[comfortabletogether]

Hello! May I have some Setsuka x Male reader headcannons during the killing game?

thank you for requesting! I really appreciate you supporting my blog! I took some creative liberties with this since you weren’t that specifically and I cannot read, so I wrote a fic. If you hate it you can re-request it when my asks are open again. AS THEY ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED.

WARNING: SPOILERS

~ Mod Haruhiko ✈️

“Pass me another bottle!” Setsuka cheered to you from the middle of the room. Her words were slurred from hell and back.

Setsuka looked absolutely lovely albeit in a completely drunken state. She was dancing in silly ways around the wooden interior of the house. She was partying with Shinji, and Yuri was downing vodka trying to get Setsuka’s attention.

“Yes ma’am!” You grabbed Setsuka’s empty bottle, handing her a brand new one. One the she would surely be downing in less ten minutes with Shinji. You scurried off the the bin of bottles that you and Yoruko have been putting bottles in. 

“Great night, huh Yoruko.” You smiled at her while she was in the midsts of a conversation with Emma.

“It’s certainly a wild night to say the least.” She smiled right back. Emma was practically leaning on her shoulder. Back on the sidelines Yuki looked pissed, he was an absolute buzzkill. He wanted us all to stay sober but half of us were and we weren’t being supervised by adults so what did it matter if we were being ‘criminals.’

Yuki called out your name as you picked up a bottle of beer from the stash that been brought to the party.

“S/O! Don’t! We are highschoolers, it’s bad enough that Kanade, Setsuka, Hajime and Yuri are wasted! I don’t want to have to deal with yet another drunk guy crying on the floor.” Yuki complied his voice whiny and like he hadn’t had enough alcohol.

“Quit complaining Yuki. One, it makes you a bigger target, and two, it makes you boring which causes nobody to like you. And you wouldn’t want that.” You crack open a bottle of beer and immediately start to sip from it. It provided a warm buzz that made the party feel so much more alive than it had before your second drink of the night.

“Are you kidding me—“

“Shut the hell up and live a little, damnit Yuki. Do you have an off switch? I’ve already drank some. Can’t stop me now.” You cheered, almost tripping over yourself in attempts to get back over to Setsuka.

Setsuka wrapped her arms around her and pulled you close sloppily attempting to smell the cologne you were wearing.

“Where did you buy your cologne, it’s strangely familiar.” Setsuka furrowed her brows even through her drunken expressions. Despite being wasted she seemed to have more clarity than before, her hazy eyes recognized you from a long time before the island life had began. That was a time not even remembered clearly without the alcohol and even with the drink, it was a hazy mist somewhere from the past.

Lights, rings, bouquets, dresses, cake, booze, a party just like this one. It was so familiar yet so far away. Setsuka was so close to those memories that she could almost reach out and touch it. She wanted to go back, she hardly recognized or remembered the scene yet, she longed to go back to that moment of love. Then had a soft melody of love drift through the wind the couple had exchanged words and spit. This time the harmony played in the winds was one of warning.

“I don’t remember but I think someone bought it for me.. but I don’t remember why.” You hummed, realizing just how fuzzy certain thoughts were.

“Do you want to come to my dorm to sleep for the night because, I’m drunk, you’re drunk. We can take care of each other.” Setsuka laughed.

= 

Setsuka face planted onto her bed. Everyone was safe back at their dorms.

“Big sis—“ You started, knowing that she would demand for everyone to call her that, yet still she didn’t seem pleased with you calling her Big Sis Setsuka or Suka. But not shockingly you felt the exact same way.

“You can call me Suka or a nickname but please don’t call me big sis, something about you calling me that is feels kind of gross.” Setsuka admitted to You her face serious despite how hammered you and her were. 

“I feel it too. Do you have dreams?” You ask hanging your head off the side of her bed, Setsuka doing the same. It was a stupid idea frankly, the two of you will be so lightheaded later.

“Yeah. I feel happy there and it’s with someone like you.” 

“Funny, I get the same sorts of dreams.” You comment with a slight chuckle “Can I sleep over Suka.”

“Mmm.. Yu-yu would hate you saying that.” Setsuka slurred, grabbing you and pulling you in for cuddles. Her typically hardy laugh was sloppy when drunk, and she somehow seemed like she enjoyed everything more drunk.

“Fine, I’ll rephrase it. Can I sleep over, Bitch?” You laugh, while Setsuka held you. She was big spooning you. 

“Anytime you want, S/O.”

In that moment the rest of the world disappeared leaving only you and Setsuka, someone who you felt— no, that you know that you have been in love with before.

[leoleolovesdc]

Fuck it.

*Gets extremely emotional over a dumb romcom*

Okay, so let’s talk Senior Year and why I fucking hate Martha and Seth;

Yk what, Martha was being such an asshole during her fight w Steph. It’s so fucking stupid to act like she owns you maturity and responsibility when she is 17. Like, yeah, she has the body of a 37yo woman but mentally she is seven-fucking-teen. And also all that stupid ass talk abt “you had me, you had Seth”, no tf she didn’t?? Why would she even want to hang out with them? They are adults, they have their own lives, jobs, concerns and as far as Steph remembers she is just a kid, it’s obvious that she’d rather hang out w teens at a house party than keep on being besties with people twenty years older than her, besides, her relationship with Seth is REALLY icky. How tf does this man who’s pushing forty think it’s okay to date his friend who hasn’t aged mentally since they were seniors? He doesn’t have the right to get mad at her for “teenage-tricking him” when he himself is taking advantage of a woman who clearly does not have life experience of maturity to be with an adult (despite physically being one herself).

Everything that Steph says to defend herself during the fight is completely justifiable. And also, the police shouldn’t even consider this as an adult woman giving alcohol to teens when she literally has a medical bill saying “this woman is mentally a teenager and lost the last 20 years of her life”, like even legally she should barely count as an adult.

Everyone who gets mad at Steph throughout the movie tells her some variation of “you have to grow up” but how do you want her to even do that? She was in a coma for twenty years for fuck’s sake, maturity obviously won’t js pop up in her brain bc she suddenly woke up at 37.

And the way that the fight turns into “you pushed me away in highschool to b popular🥺” is SO ridiculous. Martha is telling Steph to grow up and yet she can’t get over the fact that her friend made a dick move twenty years ago. Get the fuck over yourself, woman.

The “making mistakes is different than willfully screwing over the ppl who care abt you” line is also so bad, Steph didn’t do anything to screw over anyone, she made two dumb decisions (one of which VERY dumb one, for that matter (and the other was 20 years ago, as mentioned)) but she IS NOT at the same level of maturity as her old friends and they shouldn’t expect her to.

The only people who treated Steph right through the whole movie were her father, who (despite letting her go out with Seth) still treated and cared for her like the teenager she truly is, and her high shool friends who never questioned treating her as one of them.

Conclusion: Steph should have dumped Seth’s creepy advantage taking ass and Martha’s fuck ass exigency for maturity (even when she doesn’t have any herself💀) and stayed with Janet and Yaz, they were real ones.

[justp34chy]

First Meeting

takes place Briars first year of high school lol

     Highschool, A terrible place full of sorrows and stress. I moved to the G4 district not too long ago and have gained a decent amount of popularity since I have, I’ve even had a few girls ask me on dates. Of course I turned them down. I barely knew any of them, I have better things to do anyway. Walking through the halls I was approached by yet another girl, I groaned in my head, mentally preparing for turning down another confession but I'm caught off guard when it never comes. The girl was the president of the photography club and needed student volunteers to be models for a project they were working on. Not too long before that I was asking a teacher to work alone on a project and was reminded to put myself out there and befriend some people. Reluctantly, I agreed to model for the photography club. It wouldn't be my first time modelling afterall, they should feel lucky that I didn’t just turn the other way when I was asked. The girl who’s name I do not remember tells me to join them in the club room at the end of the day. That was not far from now as it was last period. I nod in understanding and resume walking to my next class, not giving her enough time to say anything more.

     Biology, My favourite subject. I’ve always been fascinated with how the human body works. I knew every intricate system and how everything behaved by memory, a morbid little child reading books full of gore and viscera. Naturally I was passing the class with flying colours, I was the teacher's golden child. This class was nothing special, just a period where students could study for an upcoming test next week. I didn't need to study but I did anyway, drawing an intricate diagram of the human skeletal system with labels and everything, patiently waiting for the bell to ring so I could get this photography club activity done and over with. Eventually it does ring and I silently grab my bag from my locker and walk up to the photography club room. I enter the room, great, I'm the first one there. I awkwardly place myself at a desk and wait for the few members the club had to actually show up. No less than five minutes later the first student shows up, some kid named Travis or something dumb like that, he seems confused as to why im here so I don’t think he was filled in on the project. He asked me a question but I didn't answer because the club president entered the room and filled him in. She seemed excited to see that I actually showed up and didn't just bail on her. I sat silently for fifteen minutes until all of the members arrived except one. The club president doesn't wait for that last student, assuming that they aren't coming in today she begins explaining that me and five other volunteers would be assigned to two club members and have to model for them. Mid sentence the door slams open the culprit screaming

     “I'm here! I'm here!” in a panic. The president sighs and welcomes him, ushering him to sit down and explaining the project again just for good measure before assigning the students to volunteers. Turns out I was only assigned to one person as there were an odd number of club members, someone named Ajax. I look around to find who responded to the name and, oh no it’s the late kid, and he’s staring at me with what looks like awe in his eyes. I force myself to walk up to him as he’s just sitting there and looking at me rather than making a move to talk to me for this project. 

     “Hello?” I greet him, snapping him out of his daze with my accent. He clearly didn’t expect me to have a german accent due to his eyes widening in surprise before awkwardly sputtering a greeting. I silently sit down next to him, he has short scruffy black hair and what looks like a patchy beard he's trying to grow out.

     “I like your hair, I've always wanted to grow mine out but my parents won't let me.” Ajax breaks the silence. I fiddled with my hair, I guess it was getting quite long. It wasn't the first time someone pointed out how long it was but this time it felt different somehow.

     “Thanks.” I answer in monotone, he could tell how uninterested I was about being here “why wont your parents let you grow it out?”

     “They say it'll make me look to feminine, but I don't believe them. Someone can look like a man and still have long hair.” I turn my head to look at him with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t worry I don’t think you look like a girl, though I swear I’ve seen a picture of you in a girls magazine before. Aren't you an actual model?” Ajax answers my question before I can even ask it and I feel my face heat up as he mentions that small gig I had for a magazine a few weeks ago. He notices my fluster and says that he's honoured to work with an actual model, though the blush doesn’t dissipate so he switches the topic to how he wants to compose the photos for the project. We had a long conversation about photography. He seems very passionate about it and he's excited to photograph me. I tell him how I want to be portrayed in the photos and elements I do and don't want in them before exchanging numbers and parting our separate ways once the club meeting is over. I don't think I mind participating in this project anymore.

[beaker1636]

Single Lyrics Intro - Ryan Sitkowski

AN: Here we go, the intro to the Ryan single dad fic! Hope ya'll enjoy

“Hey y/n, this is Ryan, from highschool.  Listen, I really need some help and I don’t know who else I can ask.  Can you please call me back when you get the time?”

You play the voicemail message back a few times, unable to fully believe what you are hearing.  Pausing in your tracks when it plays as you are cleaning your daycare classroom.

It has been almost 10 years since you have last spoken to Ryan, a relationship that turned sour and didn’t end well.  The man broke your heart years ago, so what could he possibly need from you after all these years and from you of all people?

You sigh, going back to cleaning for the night while debating if you should call him back or not, he did sound really concerned in his voicemail.  You’re so distracted by everything that you don’t even notice when your boss and one of your best friends walks into your room.

“Okay, what is wrong? You are clearly trapped in your own head,” Miranda asks, stepping in front of you so you notice her.

You both take a seat in the two rocking chairs, you letting out a sigh before speaking. 

“Do you remember Ryan?” 

“Like the one who you cried over for weeks for being a dick, yeah. Why?” She gives you a look that lets you know she is unsure where you are going but she doesn’t approve of what you have to say.

“When all the kids left I had a voicemail, he said he really needs my help and asked me to call him back.  What should I do? Why would he call me of all people? We haven’t spoken in years,” you sigh again, conflicted and confused about what you should do.

“That is really fucking weird, do you have any clue what he needs?” She asks, you can feel the side eye that she is giving you.

“No, he didn’t say… oh shit, he is calling again now,” you immediately panic, freezing as you decide what you should do.

“Answer it, I will finish mopping. Tell me what he wants,” she says, standing up and moving to give you some privacy.

You take a deep breath before answering. “Hey Ryan, sorry I didn’t answer sooner, I was working.”

“y/n, thank you for answering.  Do you have a couple minutes to talk, I have something I really need help with and I genuinely can’t think of anyone else to ask.” You can hear the hesitation in is voice, his anxiety in his words.

“Yeah, I have some time, what’s up?” you ask softly, anxious yourself.

“My- my sister unfortunately died about a month ago in a car accident with her husband, and long story short I have custody of their 18 month old little girl, Violet, like she's officially mine.  Anyway, long story short I need a nanny who would travel with us for tours and stuff, to be with her when I can’t…. And I can’t find anyone trustworthy.  You do daycare and have a lot of experience with kids and we know each other so I know that you wouldn’t be weird about who I am which is also important to me.  I just really want what is best for Violet and I think you would be great at it, but I understand if you say no based on our past.  I - I know I hurt you in the past and I can’t take that back but I really hope you will consider this,” he sounds desperate as he speaks, like he genuinely needs you. “I don’t expect an answer right away, you can take a few days to decide.”

“I’m so sorry Ryan, that sounds like a lot to take in and go through for you. I’ll consider it and get back to you tomorrow and get back to you if that is okay,” you say, genuinely not sure what you currently think about everything. It is a lot for you to take in yourself, both glad he thought of you but also upset that after all this time that is finally what he is talking to you about.

“I can accept that, and y/n, I really am sorry for everything I put you through. I know I can never take it back and it still upsets me.  Please do not let that be the thing that stops you,” he asks gently.

“Thank you, and I won’t.  I need to let you go Ryan, I will call you tomorrow,” you say softly before both of you say goodbye and hang up on eachother.

The second he hangs up you groan, asking yourself what the fuck am I going to do now?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

[cafecourage]

Magical Girl Au Chapter 1 : Star Struck

It’s FINALLY here!!!! I’d like to thank @pinkittwice​ / @luimagines​ for agreeing to this.

A bell rings over the door signaling a newcomer.

The young man walks into the cafe with wary eyes. He’s not used to being in public spaces but there’s a question he needs to ask if he wants things to go to plan. He walks in with feux confidence and gets in line as if he wanted to order something. 

He sees his target and gets out of line, waving a hand. “Twilight! Oh thank goodness you’re here. I needed to ask you something.”

The barista in question looks up from the order he’s making and finishes it, calling out the name of the customer before turning to the young man. “Wild? Is everything ok?”

Wild nods and shrugs a bit. “Kinda. I wanted to know if it was ok for my sister to come by your place. She offered to help me move in but uhh with everything--”

“Oh!” Twilight straightens up and brushes his hands on his vest. “I mean, If you want. I didn’t really think about that. It should be fine.”

“Everything ok?” The cafe owner walks up. Twilight nods to them and throws a thumb over in Wild’s direction. “Meet my new roommate.”

“I see. Good luck with this one then. I’ve known him since elementary. I’m Enno.” They say.

“Link.” He holds out his hands for them to shake. “But most people call me Wild. Twi and I went to the same highschool together. I don’t think I remember seeing you though.”

“I kept to myself.” Enno shrugs, pulling their hand back.

Wild nods, seemingly understanding the notion and pulling his hand back. It knocks into the stand next to the cupcake tower and the decorative egg on top tumbles. Enno instinctually reaches out to grab it, catching it with one hand before it hits the counter top and clutches it close to their chest. 

“If you broke this, I would have broken you.” They glower and delicately place the egg back onto the metal pedestal. The bell chimes in the background and Enno turns to go deal with the new customer.

Wild raises an eyebrow and puts his hands up. Wild moves to the left ever so slightly and leans in to whisper to Twilight. “A bit defensive for just an egg, don’t you think? I don’t think it would have broken.”

“They’ve had it for as long as I can remember.” Twilight shrugs. “It’s special to them. Their most prized possession, I’d say.”

“Dang…” Wild whistles. “Is that a yes or no to getting my sister to help out?”

“If you feel like it has to be done.” Twilight nods.

“Awesome! I’ll text you the details.” Wild winks and cheekily shoots him some finger guns before he turns and leaves the cafe.

Enno rolled their eyes at the display, not caring too much for Twi’s little friend even if he might be someone they were familiar with.

The bell at the entrance rang once more and another young man walked through the doors. He looked tired and dead on his feet. Enno’s heart pitied the clearly overworked college student and begane to whip up the ever famous Heart Attack they had reserved for the college students that visited.

He didn’t even order when he got to the counter.

Enno sighed and handed him the drink. He blinked wearily at them before taking it with a confused expression. “It’s on the house.”

“What?”

Enno took in a deep breath when he spoke and gulped as subtly as they could manage. “You look exhausted. Late night-- early morning-- take it.”

His eyebrows furrow and he takes an experimental whiff of the drink.

Enno had to look away and tried to busy themselves with wiping down the counter from an earlier spill if only to avoid the fluttering in their heart they had for this stranger. The man took a sip and let it rest on his tongue. As if it was magic, he came back to himself. He stood up straighter, the light returned to his eyes, and he had to be the most gentle yet gleaming smile Enno had ever seen.

“Thank you so much. It’s exactly what I needed.” He said and raised the cup ever so slightly in a mock toast.

“You’re welcome.” Enno squeaked and tried their best to look professional. They didn’t even try to make eye contact and simply nodded in his direction.

He walked away a completely different person and when he was no longer in their line of sight, Enno crashed to the floor on to their knees, behind the counter and gave off a pitiful groan.

“Really?” Twilight shakes his head and leans against the counter. “Sky?”

“His name is Sky?” Enno looks up at their coworker and realization dawns over him. “Wait, you know him?”

“Yes.” Twilight laughs and crosses his arms. “I’ve known him since my college days. And his name is also Link. There’s a lot of us, so he goes by Sky.”

“Aahh--” Enno takes a breath before straightening up and looking away from Twilight. Either of them mention their red face. “You deal with him then. From now on, even.”

“You’re a wreck.” Twilight snorts.

Enno huffed and pointed a finger in his face. “And you’re-”

A crash just beyond the cafe rolled though the whole area and smoke started to pour out from the next block over. Screams began to fill the streets and there were multiple horns being blared around the area.

“Needed.” Enno finished lamely. “You’re needed.”

Twilight nodded and flung the uniform over his head, jumping over the counter. “Will you be ok here?”

Enno looked around. It was a slow day today anyway and their mind was still stuck on the image of that guy-- Sky-- and his smile. They took another breath and tried not to scream. “No. I’m going home.”

Twilight had to run out, leaving Enno to clean up and close the cafe. Which was fine in Enno’s book. They would rather forget the last ten minutes that happened anyway.

On the walk home their phone buzzed and they instinctively pulled it out to read their messages. A new one was just received by their roommate Pinky.

Enno laughed and fished their keys out of their pocket, having already reached their destination. They turned them and opened the door, pocketing their phone as they walked in. “I’m home!”

“Hello friend. Thank you for not murdering my brother.” A voice called back from inside.

“I only thought about it. It’s not like I can knife emoji in real life.” Enno chuckled and tossed their keys onto the counter.

“You have a kitchen in your cafe.” Pinky snorted. “I’m sure you have actual knives in there somewhere.”

“Yeah, well, blood is hard to clean up. I’d rather not get that on my new floor.”

“Fair.” Pinky slid on over and reached over Enno’s things, taking her own keys off of the hook. “You caught me just as I was leaving. I gotta go get over to our old place and help Wildcat move.”

“Ok, be safe. Have fun.” Enno called out.

“Because moving boxes is so much fun.” Pinky rolled her eyes, putting her hand on the door and giving her roommate a once over. “Are you ok? You seem off.”

“Off?” Enno froze and turned their head to look away. “What do you mean by off?”

“You look shaken. Did something happen at work? Did you get caught up in the attack?” Pinky stepped back from the door, ready to comfort her friend but she was waved off.

“No, I’m fine. There was just this guy. I’m fine.”

“A guy?” Pinky raised an eyebrow. “Do I have to fight him?”

“No, no, nothing. It’s fine. I’m good. Go do your thing.”

Neither of them moved, a moment of silence passing over them before Pinky dropped her hand from the door completely, putting her hands on her hips.

“Was he cute?”

“PINKY!”

“I have to leave but I want more details Enno!” Pinky grinned, verging on a smirk before she opened the door and left the apartment they shared.

Enno collapsed on the floor in a heap of inhumane sounds and what could only be described as internal turmoil. Pinky laughed and closed the door, letting the sounds of their dear friend suffering fuel her serotonin. They were incredibly easy to rile up and while she’s never seen them be like this she imagined this would be an interesting development for her friend. If only they had a little more confidence in themselves…

She was quick to get in her car and drive away from the complex, hoping to not run into the attack that happened to be nearby. The heroes were good at their job though and she respected them. Not wanting to get in their way, she took the long way back to her brother’s old apartment. 

When she got there, she pulled out her phone, parking the car in her usual spot and texted her brother.

It... was unexpected, for him to not only be late but to also take his time answering her messages. He was usually quicker than that. However, Pinky didn’t survive this long being related to the boy by not learning how to roll with the punches.

She did as he said, taking her time to take the key from the plant next to his door and take it to her car. Pinky considered herself lucky that his complex had an elevator or else she was going to get exhausted before she would even truly begin.

The first few boxes were fine, the others were a tight fit but when there was no room left she knew it was time to head over to this new place.

Pinky sighed and closed the trunk of her car.

The amount of boxes in that place was astounding. She doubted they were going to be able to get all of them today but she did say she’d help so even if it took until the sun went down, she would stay and keep making those trips.

There were boxes on top of boxes and Pinky prayed that the attack was over by now. Less she wanted to crash and burn with all of her brother’s things. 

With the GSP on, she slowly made her way out of the complex and began to drive toward the new location.

It was at least a twenty minute drive but it looked quiet, quaint and not within the inner city.

It looked safe.

It calmed her heart and she parked as close as she could get to the apartment.

She smiled at her phone and put it away, getting out of her car and moving on back to open the trunk.

“Sissy!” A voice sounded from behind her.

“Wildcat!” She called back and opened her arms. A body collided with her and spun her around. It was familiar and warm and safe and she couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, hello to you too!”

“I’m so glad you’re here!” Wild put her down and waved over a friend who came down with him. “Pinky, I’d like you to meet Twilight. Twilight, this is my sister.”

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” Pinky held out her hand and Twilight.

He took it delicately, as if she was made of porcelain and smiled. “It’s nice to meet you too. I’m Link but Twilight works as well.”

“Oh!” Pinky snorted and covered her mouth with her hand to try and hide her laughter. “What a coincidence. Maybe it was meant to be?”

“There’s a lot of Links in our group.” Twilight shrugs. “It seems that way sometimes.”

“If there’s a lot of links, does that make you a chain?” She grinned and Wild groaned just behind her, the box in his hands nearly falling to the floor when his grip slipped. 

“Can you not embarrass me in front of my friends?”

“You’re not thirteen anymore, I can embarrass you as much as I want.” Pinky playfully stuck her tongue out at him and crossed her arms. “I apologize in advance for my brother. He’s a handful.”

“It’s fine. We get along just fine.” Twilight chuckled and moved to take a box from the car.

“That’s good. Great, even.” Pinky beamed and took the box next to the empty space that Twilight left behind. “Lead the way!”

Twilight nodded and they all moved towards the complex, going up the stairs and leaving Wild to open the door for them when he arrived first.

Pinky placed her box deeper inside the apartment and looked around, doing a little spin to get the full picture. “It’s bigger than I thought it was going to be. Not bad.”

“Right?” Wild wrapped his arm around her. “We’ve got everything figured out. The Tv is going to go there, and the bookshelf with all my legos is going over there.”

“Naturally.” She nodded along and gently took his arm off of her. “But we have more things to bring up and we don’t have all day.”

“Actually, I was thinking.” Wild interrupted and looked over to Twilight.. “Can I borrow your truck?”

“My truck?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I go back to my place, fill up the truck and come back while you help my sister unload hers. You’re strong. It’s arguably a lot faster.”

“Uhh... Wildcat, wouldn’t it be better if he goes with you?” Pinky gulped a bit. “I loaded up my car. I can unload it. And besides, wouldn’t it be better if you had someone to help you?”

“It’ll be fine. Twilight doesn’t bite.” Wld shrugged and grinned towards his friend. “And you can just drive him back and then we’ll all be there to pack up both cars anyway.”

Twilight shrugged and leaned on the counter of his kitchen. “Works for me. I’m good either way.”

“Um.. well..” Pinky looked between the two guys and sighed. It might be a little awkward to be next to a total stranger especially if her brother was simply going to abandon her but she trusted his judgment. “Ok, be safe then Wildcat. We’ll catch up soon.”

Wild gave the two of them a two finger salute before he vaulted over the island and grabbed the keys that were left on the counter. With those in his grasp he ran out of the apartment and left the two people behind.

“Oh dear…” Pinky sighed and shook her head. “What am I going to do with him?”

“Most of us just humor him.”

Pinky snorted and began to walk toward the door. “I’ve spent nearly his whole life doing that. It gets tiring after a while.”

“So you’re older than him?” Twilight picked up his pace to walk next to Pinky, holding the door open for her and then closing it when they both were through.

“Only by two years.”

“I don’t think I ever saw you in highschool. I know Wild went to Knight High but-” Twilight admitted, trying to keep the conversation going.

“I’m adopted. Obviously.” She gestured to her round ears but kept her calm smile. “I was already in highschool when it happened and no one wanted the hassle of transerfing me out to a new place entirely so I finished there.”

“Ah. Makes sense how we never saw each other then.” Twilight waited for her to get her box first before he reached in, trying to figure out which ones were the heavy ones to save her the trouble of carrying them. “So, what do you do?”

“Meaning?”

“For work, for fun, for rebellion?”

Pinky snorted. “I don’t really rebel but I like to draw and write. I’m still in school but I just applied to work for my dream job and I just have to wait for them to call.”

“Oooh, sounds exciting.”

“I certainly am excited.” Pinky hopped a little, the box’s content shuffling around as a result

They continued with the small talk for a while. Pinky traded stories about her childhood and Twilight commented about his own, having told her that he was also adopted but managed to get into contact with his biological family.

Eventually, when the car was completely unloaded, they found themselves stalling around in the apartment. Whether they were waiting for Wild to come or drive there themselves like he suggested, they were unsure, but a small break wouldn’t have hurt anyone.

At least that’s what they told themselves.

After a calm moment of silence, Pinky came out of what was going to be Wild’s room, since she took the liberty of moving the boxes there instead of having them crowd the living room. She took a deep breath and walked up to Twilight.

He handed her a glass of water. She chugged it down in a minute.

“There’s something I want you to know.” She said, putting the drink on the counter.

Twilight was still reeling over the amount of ferocity in the way she drank the glass before reality caught up with him. “Uh… ok?”

“The scars Wildcat has are relatively recent. He was a sophomore when the accident happened… he… didn’t remember much coming out of it.” Pinky gulped and went to drink more water only to find her glass empty. She pushed it to the side. “I don’t know if I should be telling you this but I’ve always worried about him. At least at his dorm he could have been monitored just in case but now? He sometimes falls into a trance-like state, when his brain catches up to him… He says he remembers stuff from before. It was a lot worse in the beginning. It almost kept him from graduating. But they still happen.”

“He… mentioned an accident.” Twilight nodded along. “But he doesn’t talk about it.”

“I don’t blame him. Hardly any of us do.” Pinky tried to smile but it was forced. She sighed and looked at the counter for a minute to gather her courage before speaking again. “I know this isn’t my place… but I love him.”

“You’re worried about him. It’s understandable.”

Pinky nodded. “Some are worse than others and he’s been doing really well as of late so I’m probably catastrophizing. But it’s always when he comes out of it that’s the concerning part. Umm.. do you have a pen I can borrow?”

Twilight spun around and looked around his kitchen in order to fulfill her request. A single black pen lay in a junk drawer and he didn’t hesitate to hand it to her.

“Thank you.” She took it and began to look around again. “I guess I need something to write on.”

Twilight stuck his arm out.

The action was so abrupt and closer to her face than Pinky realized that when she caught up to the present she started to laugh. “I want you to have my number. Just in case anything happens.”

“Sounds good to me.”

After the first half of it was written, Pinky began to giggle to herself. “Man, it’s like being in highschool again. Don’t abuse that.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“And thank you.” 

“Anytime.”

“No.” Pinky smiled again, this time more genuine and pleased. “Wildcat talks about you. I’m glad that he’s ok, and I think a lot of that is thanks to you.”

“I don’t feel like I did much.”

“Most heroes don’t.” Pinky winked and began to walk away.

The moment she reached the door, it opened to reveal that Wild had returned, and he had managed to carry three boxes on top of each other. “Pinky! I’m sorry. It wasn’t until I got there that I realized I just ditched you with a stranger! I came back as quickly as I could.”

“No worries. He didn’t bite. Just as you said.” Pinky grinned. “I’ll drive to the dorm, just unload the truck.”

“Ok.” Wild exhaled and watched her leave. It was until she was out of ear shot that a small figure zoomed through the room and tackled something next to Wild’s head. 

“Cal, why is your sister so hot?” A voice cried.

It was quickly followed by a sharp smack and the same voice cried out in pain.

Wild snapped his head to the small being next to him, one looking like he did before his accident and other looking like Twilight but with a dog tail and ears. Twilight had moved away from his spot, going to put on his jacket that was left on the newly placed couch. He always wore it, but the action seemed suspicious to Wild’s eyes.

“What did he just say?” Wild asked the man in front of him.

Twilight didn’t even look at him. “I have no idea what he’s talking about.”

“Uh huh.” Wild crossed his arms and glared at him. “I’m never leaving you alone with her again.”

“That’s fine.” Twilight's voice did not crack when he said that and he cleared his throat. “Welcome even. I agree, you should never do that again.”

“She’s so pretty!” Little Twilight howls into the room. “I want to kiss her!”

“Wolfie, shut up.” Twilight hisses.

“Like hell you will.” Little Wild smacks the other again. “That my sister.”

Wild growls and stomps a bit before he remembers that there’s more boxes in the truck that he has to bring up. “Cal, make sure Wolfie or Twilight don’t do anything to Pinky.”

“On it.”

“What do you mean?” Twilight yells after Wild as he leaves the apartment.

Cal flies up to Twilight faces and doesn’t hesitate to point a finger in his face. For a tiny magical creature of only four inches in height, Twilight thinks this is the most intimidating thing he’s come across in his life. “Don’t you dare hurt her. You can be friends, but if you dare to hurt her, I will not hesitate to end your family line, do you hear me?”

“Loud and clear.” Twilight smiles nervously and the little guardian flies away.

Twilight was left alone in the room with his own guardian lamenting by the doorway still.

He fiddles with the sleeve of his jacket, Pinky’s number hidden by the leather.

Wild can never know.

[regression-1863]

And Then There Were Two

“You know the story.” 

“We know a story.” 

“So?” The brown haired man— (woman? They never particularly cared, call them a sentient goose for all they care,) leans back in the cheap orange chair. They cross their arms, as if cold. “It’ll all be the same. I already gave you my statement.” it was just the two of them here. Four if you count the facades that each of them wears. 

“You don’t seem too bothered about being in here,” the older man said. He had your typical 70s detective look, trenchcoat and all, cigar lit and being dragged on without care for the osha convention—  have that been invented yet? Seraphim couldn’t remember. Couldnt be bothered to, not anymore. 

“Should I be?” Seraphim asks, watching as  the detective fumes. 

The man takes a deep breath, before asking, “Name, age, date of birth.” 

“Se–” she pauses, “Sarah,, 19, born…” Seraphim pauses for half a second, barely noticeable, “1955, november third.” 

The detective slams his hand on the table, “You’d be 18 then, not 19.” 

“Would I?” Seraphim, aka Sarah puts ‘her’ hand on her forehead. “God, I must’ve been more messed up by this whole thing than I thought. I had my birthday celebrated a few days before  the office was supposed to be vacated.”

The detective, clearly resisting the urge of snapping at this poor young woman, as Seraphim made themself seem to be. 

“Start from the beginning.” 

Sarah, as quiet as she was, was an average worker. She did what she was told, didn’t go beyond that, did overtime when forced. By all standards, a cutboard cuttout office worker. Technically she was an intern, or unpaid labor, only a yearish out of highschool. 

By the time all of the other workers had gotten their things from the building and had left, so had she. Except, of course, she left her laptop. 

October 31st, 1973, 7:50P.M just after sunset, she remembered this little fact. There would hardly be anyone in the building. 

She went to the third floor where she worked, grabbing her laptop, before hearing the sounds of people. They were speaking in hushed voices, and of course, she followed. 

“Why?” the detected interjected her story. 

“They werent supposed to be there. I dont know how they got key’s to the building, its more likely they broke in. I was going to tell them off.” she took a deep breath, before continuing. “There were a group of teens. I told them to get lost–” 

“Can you describe them?” 

She wanted to glare at the detective. “Why, dont believe me?” They couldn’t help the snark in their voice, and quickly tried to reel it back in. 

There was Alexandra. Sarah noticed her first because she stood out the most when she told the group off. She only remembered her name because when the screaming started, her’s was the first to be called. Of course, Alexandra had an alternative fashion sense, and was mouthy, as described by the douchbag next to her. A hockey player? Sarah couldnt quite remember… 

“There were only four of us total I think—” “Five.” 

Seraphim looked at him, a bit bewildered. “Five? I dont remember a fith.” 

“Well there was one. He must’ve been the first to die then, his head was found peirced on the fence. “Ah,” Sarah said with a slight nod, looking down at her hands, into the hot cup of tea that she had no intention of drinking. 

“Lets start with the second victim then. You witnessed that one didn’t you?” the detective asks, almost snidely for a reason Sarah couldn’t comprehend. 

Seraphim could though, and it annoyed them to no end. “It was the cops found you after all. You were covered in her blood.” 

Sarah zoned off, as if remembering the scene vividly. 

She had ran off when the screaming first started. It was likely from the fith person she hadn’t heard of. She and Alexanda hid in the office landry room. It was old, not used often. She hid in the dry cleaner, jumping in to the white lid and hiding there. 

Screaming. 

Alexandra was screaming her head off, partly fearful, partly angry. And Sarah, of course, didn’t witness this. 

The detective sighed. 

“Great. Do you even know what the killer looks like?” 

Sarah gave a small, hesitant shrug. “I only found her afterwards. I didn’t know what to do.” she went quiet. “I think she…” 

“S..sarah. Thats y..your name, right?” Alexandra croacked out. She couldnt move. Her neck had been broken, her body mutilated in ways Sarah refused to look at. “I’m… scared…” 

Sarah felt her chest fall. She wanted to vomit. To rip out her own intestines in solidarity. Or just to die. It was horrific. She stumbled over, too stunned to say anything. She walked up to her. All she could think about was to hold her. Hold her gently and sing her the song that Sarah’s own mother used to sing to her. 

Sarah was crying by now, silent tears falling. “...do you think it hurt?” she asks quietly, though she knew the truth. 

The detective was clearly desensitized by the emotion Sarah was showing, as if it was just another day. “Yes.”

.

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This is a new original random story im making and posting here because ill prolly never be a published book author :'D anyways! enjoy this random little series haha

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Masterlist

[artist-poet-lover]

You were the most important person to me at some point. Since the moment I met you I saw you as a bright and loving individual. You are one of those people who seemed genuinely kind and it gave me hope. Your kindness made me want to be kind too. You were the refreshing breeze on a hot summer day; something much needed and cherished.

You probably don't even remember this, but you said you would be there for me. It was October. We were sitting on the swings, and the sun had just set but it looked like it was twilight. I was talking about how I feel like my friends often don’t put in effort, and I was always the one making plans. You promised you would be different. And for a while you were! You strived to make plans and initiated conversations. I loved our memories together. I spoke positively about you to everyone I knew. Talking to you became one of the highlights of my day. I think ceramics was one of the most enjoyable times in my highschool years.

When second semester came it felt like everything came crashing down. It was partially my fault, I could’ve checked my schedule earlier and sat with you in socials, but I trusted our friendship more than a seating plan. Clearly I was wrong. I have nothing against you and her. Yet, when you two started hanging out it felt like you forgot about me. Do you remember that time I asked why you guys didn't invite me when you went out some other people? And you responded with “why didn’t I invite all my friends”. Because you promised ME you’d make an effort. I don’t think the problem is you spending time with other people, it’s that you no longer wanted to spend time with me. This makes me sound like a horrible, petty person. But I valued you too much to be logical. Then it just got worse. From you ignoring my invitation to go to the Christmas market to making excuses when I tried to make plans? I remember getting you something on your birthday when we were drifting in hopes to rekindle our friendship. It was a long weekend coming up and I asked you to message me when you were free so we could hangout. I spent the weekend submerged in anticipation with no result. On my birthday you sent me a message two days late. I feel like you didn’t just stop putting in effort, you stopped wanting to talk to me altogether. I really missed you. I missed talking to you and your hugs and you in my life. However, there was no point reaching out after that. I knew I’d be left with dry responses if I got any response at all.

I don't know why you stopped reaching out to me. I wish you told me. I wish you would have pointed out everything I did wrong so I could have a chance to fix it. I was left to overthink about everything I did. Perhaps it was my clinginess, my pessimistic personality, or my lack of volleyball skills. I just wish you could’ve communicated with me. To you I was probably just a burden, but to me you were once everything. But despite what I feel, I hold no malice towards you. Your treatment towards me was feasibly a reflection of myself rather than who you are. Despite you not being in my life, I still see how you affect others. You're still a joyous individual that can charm everyone around you; I hope you continue loving and cherishing them.