#like I get why ppl are SAYING some of things like that Ed cutting off Izzy's toes is not justified consequences and it's like SA

[zo1nkss]

Venty slightly ranty thoughts in tags about some takes I've seen on twitter if u don't want to see that

[ofmdee]

😵

been having some thinky thoughts today, and for a while, rly, abt my Feelings abt breathing underwater and i tried to type something up on twitter but that jsut was not letting me think my thoughts correctly

i love BU........... so goddamn much. it started out as nothing more than a silly idea abt little mermaid ed meeting stede and kind of ballooned into what ive built it up into today. it's so important to me... but it's making me a little miserable right now?

miserable because i dont want to work on it, but i WANT TO want to work on it, i want to tell this story and read the finished product, ive got so many ideas, but i just. cannot get myself to do the actual WORK of making sentences and then staging all the pics........... what used to be a fun little pastime now feels like a chore, an obligation, a compulsion almost. it sucks, but it sucks more NOT doing it, you know what i mean? idk.

i know ive built it up into this big THING to myself, like... idk, i do this so often, i have big ideas and love to plan and organize them and then i get going with such intensity until i abruptly fizzle out. i start things and dont finish them, and i guess i just rly dont want this to be another thing that gets thrown on my unfinished projects pile :/

i have the next 2 parts drafted, but every time i go back to poke at them and edit them i just get so disheartened because it's obvious that my heart wasn't really in writing them, and it's difficult to salvage a rough draft like that. part of me wants to just delete those parts entirely and say fuck it im taking an indefinite hiatus, and i will start fresh when this is fun again! which would probably be the best thing, actually, but... i am reluctant to do that, because i just dont have anything else to rly fill my time rn.

i havent been getting a lot of joy out of... anything, rly, for a long time now, im so bored and apathetic and even my normal go to things arent cutting it anymore. and idk if it's a depression thing or if im truly outgrowing some interests, but either way i know i need to get more Things in my life somehow, because writing and sims are my two biggest pastimes, and then i combined them, and then i got sick of both so ive got so little to go on! so i keep poking at the things that i used to love, hoping to find that spark again 😪 i love these little guys and their little world!!! and it makes me sad that im not actually having Fun with the PROCESS.

it doesn't help that i am constantly torn between man i wish more ppl read my fic!!! i work so hard on it!! and man i never want anyone to perceive me or my writing ever it's so amateur!! idk what i want and idk what i want to DO about it!!

so, idk!! idk where this is all going, lol, i just... wanted to try and organize these thoughts somehow.

trying to reason w myself that at the end of the day, i am writing a fanfiction. that's it. it's not that big of a deal, and yet it feels huge to me, somehow. I don't wanna let down the ppl who are reading it, and i dont wanna let myself down again, either.

BUT it's not supposed to make me feel miserable it is supposed to be fun i am lowkey crying rn because like urghghghgh why isnt it fun?!!?!

so. i think i gotta do some more thinking, because not making any kind of decision is making things worse! and idk, if all of this hasnt put u off of the idea of my fic, here is the series page lmfao i could use some encouragement i guess......

but i am going to seriously put more thought into an official hiatus, because i think i am getting Too preoccupied with it again and it's messing with me!!!

i actually had a decent time doing those kitty ed pics today, even tho they didn't do so hot, so maybe i am just gonna try to focus on that kind of thing, doing stuff that actually catches my attention, and also doing things without the intention of sharing them at all. allowing things to be messy. i get so caught up in the thought of someone else seeing my work that i paralyze myself trying to make it PERFECT.

i had a decent time doing that oneshot from ed's pov as well. so maybe i need to work on projects that are a bit smaller scale. i dont have to say goodbye to BU stuff forever, but i am just so ALL OR NOTHING that it feels like a way bigger decision than it actually is 😓

so i guess....... im gonna sleep on it for a while. think about it and try and come to a firm decision. because if i take a break, i need to REALLY take a break, which includes not thinking about it all the time and constantly beating myself up for not doing it 😅

idk, thank you if you read this far, here are a few kitty pics of ed for ur time:

[pey-up]

Tell me about your OCs!!!

YIPPEEEEEEEEE

youre all going to regret this.

This is gonna be long so RANT UNDER CUT-

Okokok so i have multiple stories but ill spare yall and just give you the main one (or ig the most fleshed out one?)

It follows a teen girl Elora, who's a silly gal and by silly i mean autistic and would bite someone if pressed. She reallyyy likes big words, like you know those hyperspesfic words that describe super specific moments or feelings? She loves those. Being super specific is her Jam. Anyways, she's friends with two kids Edgar (has bit someone and would bite again) and Paige (would never bite someone. Allows affectionate biting.)

Theyre not vampires theyre just weird/aff

Elora's mom is named Bellaire, she's a single mom who works one job, loves her kid and never stops, we love Belle. Where is eloras dad you may be asking!? Doesnt exist. Pokemon style. (I have never played pokemon but ive seen enough delia x jesse art to know). I kinda leave the second parent up for interpretation because its fun to see what ppl come up with :3 (kinda like mrs. Afton? Literally built out of headcanons and dreams) Bellaire is a health IT worker and she loves it! It's why she moved to Pennsylvania in the first place! She kinda moved around a bit as a kid from france to italy to north carolina so good for her for staying put :3

Uh- okay so one thing about my stories is i do not care if its realistic for a Korean woman in 1987 to be working IT. The world in my stories is nicer. Doesnt mean bad stuff doesnt exist! It just means im going to pretend it can happen because she deserves for it to happen >:[

Belle and Elora are real close since theyre kinda the only family each other have, El has a tricky time expressing emotions and affection, whereas Belle is reallt outwordly affectionate so some miscommunication happens there :( boy itd be a shame if Someone were to not make it to the end of the story and theyd be unable to communicate properly (<- its not written yet.. i will be killing at least someone off though...)

Edgar and El have that "never met one of my parents" swag, Edgar in the form of my dad sucks (im not projecting youre projecting. What.) And his momma died when he was real young. His mom and Bellaire were reallll... close.

They were gay.

But yknow, she died so Ed's dad took over and cut belle out of edgars life, so poor baby ed has zero support systemUntil he meets elora on a rainy day when hes much older, about 12 or 13 id say?

Paige is significantly less traumatized, but she has the "i need to be suuper happy and a support system for everyone else because they obviously have it worse than i do" disorder :(

THERE IS A PLOT TO THIS I SWEAR!!! SORRY ITS KINDA WORD VOMIT RN-

Its more put together when i write it i swear (two chapters r in my pinned post, ill write more when school starts and i get settled in my creative writing class again :3 gimmie a week or so hehe)

Heres some doodles i did of them! The placeholder title is currently Aberrant so its tagged under that (and then specific characters of their names, Elora Carpenter, Paige Madden, Edgar, etc)

Thanks very very much for the ask!!!!!

[sassykinzonline]

Going off on a tangent (I’m lowkey obsessed with your blog so now I’m going to yell my thoughts at you)

I get so disappointed at the lack of any lore drops between Naruto’s heritages like obviously the uzamaki’s were exploited and basically had a like genocide (Karin’s backstory had me so fucked) and maybe it’s to show how normal it is in shinobi society to just brush anything under the rug when it comes to genocides and systemic issues which duh but I wish I could’ve seen more nuanced stuff like diaspora between the few survivors of lost clans, how they survived or heck how they try to preserve their culture.

Idk maybe I’m not making any sense but as someone who has like no ties to my origins (AA, especially growing up to ppl denying AA culture and how AA culture gets sold) I wished I saw that kind of relatability in Naruto since he himself is basically separated from his culture and didn’t even know who his parents were I feel like that could lead to some like deeper stuff. I feel like Naruto would try to preserve his cultures and clans (he does in way ig in boruto but I barely seen that anime and that’s a whole other discussion with how clans are treated)

And in a way I guess it’s the most realistic part of Naruto like yea the ppl in charge might give a nod in acknowledgement of how they were bystanders and that the system failed ppl (if they even go as far as to accept that) it’s just to make the ppl they exploit/ed shut up and be happy that they were even seen in the first place (working class, blm, Palestine, Native Americans etc)

But god do I wish Naruto dived into the isolation of the lack of culture or even the lack of your own ppl can have.

first of all thank you for your support and engagement, it gives joy. feel free to yell at me whenever, i have a naruto so im used to it.

this is also something that used to upset me and now just frustrates me. i technically wasnt the last uchiha until after the war, but itachi and i couldnt communicate, madara cut ties with the clan, and just like me obito left the village as a child. one of the worst things about the genocide was this crushing anxiety of "what will become of our history?" i was old enough to have pride in the concept of "uchiha" but too young to have a meaningful understanding of it. and i guess deep down thats what contributed to my steady depersonalization and increasing franticness-- i knew there was really nothing i could do to preserve my clan so at least i needed to preserve their honour (and this was also why i understand itachi's reasons for not sharing the truth).

all this to say, my heart breaks for naruto because he doesnt even know what he doesnt know. and like you said, thats mostly a function of how konoha chose to operate. i still dont understand why they couldnt at least tell naruto about his mom. i dont understand why jiraiya didnt come back to teach him sealing. but i do know why and its because the shinobi system works best if you dont see yourself as an individual first. everything you are and have needs to belong to the state, and if it doesnt, then they will eliminate it. konoha took advantage of the genocide in uzushio to essentially traffic their women and then say there was "friendship" between the two villages...then do nothing to preserve the uzumaki or uzushio history. disgusting.

youre making sense. ive actually thought that naruto's case is similar to children from asia who were trafficked and brought to western countries post-war, completely removed from their culture and often neglected and abused for a culture they couldnt even own. i think the uchiha are a bit similar to african americans given the systematic lack of consideration for contributions to the development of society, the war between respectability/assimilation and self-determination/anti-discrimination, and like you said the commodification and demonization of culture. and i do agree with you about naruto, but i think it also helps him sometimes. for better or for worse hes...simple. he doesnt think too much about things he doesnt know, and that helps him get through his days with less of a load. he does have his bad days, where hes...lost, but if he were any other way he wouldnt be naruto. luckily the boruto versions of us arent real, but even then i think they make sense given what they were trying to accomplish with that show (ie. dumb down everything for the Manly Men who didnt get what was happening the first time).

when i was traveling after the war i did try to do some preliminary investigation into existing uzumaki refugees and diaspora, but it was a bit difficult though due to their history. ive been thinking about putting together an extended campaign and mission for us to reunify the uzumaki, for his birthday. i just need to figure out how best to go about it. keep it a secret between us.

[golbrocklovely]

i'm blocking out the accounts bc i'm not about to draw more eyes to them. funny enough, i went snooping on my own and found both accounts before this ask.

also this is just a warning, i'm running on about two percent battery brain power, so if this doesn't make sense and/or sounds like i'm an asshole, that's why. i'm not trying to be rude to you anon, so please don't think that. i'm just ridiculously tired of this situation and the ppl involved in it.

imma be so forreal, i kinda have to laugh at all of this. first off, both of these accounts are run by teenagers… and it's very obvious. it reads like a jealous little girl's diary.

also i can debunk all of their shit in a heartbeat. half of it is just them saying "see ! malia is a slut who had work done" and all i gotta say to that is… do you say that about amber? shea? stas? just curious. bc they all got work done, and they all have casual sex (most likely) or at the very least have hooked up with colby. so like???? keep the misogyny even if you're gonna go full pick me.

malia had an onlyfans, yes. she did technically lie in her response to a hater who said she had one. however, no one is owed an explanation to if and why she had one. and secondly, this fandom is full of young fans. if she admitted she had one, yall would just call her a creep that's promoting sex to minors or whatever. and clearly if she actually posted anything of her nude, it would be online. bc.. like these losers pointed out, the videos she did of her modelling bikinis for some brand got put on porn sites by creepy dudes. none of them are of her nude tho. it's just her in a bikini which surprise surprise isn't porn.

she got work done but liked a comment that called her a natural beauty….. do these fans really think they ate pointing this out?? she is naturally pretty, she just got some work done. again, would you harp on shea liking a comment that says that? or amber? or stas?? or how about a woman that's wearing makeup or a push up bra??

these fans really think they have her in this gotcha moment when reality is…. all they're doing it pointing out how pathetic they look. yeah babes, you're totally right. malia is a slutty porn star who got work done… and colby STILL decided to date her. you know why? bc he doesn't care. and you do… and yet here you are… still not getting the attention from colby you think you deserve. even if you were the last person on earth colby wouldn't choose you. and for all the hate you have for malia, you basically run a fan account for her since you know so much about her. but yeah… keep calling her a whore or whatever. you're doing such a good job at it lmao

i'll go thru the other ones these bozos pointed out fast:

colby likes his alone time, she made a tiktok saying she likes when guys are obsessive…. those don't even relate, but on top of that she made that vid before she was even DATING HIM

we have no proof malia made him unfollow anyone, they are just jumping to that conclusion

the cheating thing we now know is false

she didn't steal that hair color from amber………. are yall on crack? amber hasn't ever dyed her hair that color?? she uses a wig??? and just bc she wants to dye her hair a similar color doesn't mean malia copied. how would she have even known that?? jesus christ keep the schools open these kids are DUMB

the girls went to coachella a couple years ago or whatever but claimed the one they went to with snc was their first. oH mY gOd ThEy LiEd Or PoSsIbLy FoRgOt??? call the firing squad and line them up in the town square. burn the witches at the stake!!!!

malia called herself a slut and that's proof… she's a slut. sure. yeah. whatever you say, children. yall barely have had sex ed but please inform me how she's a slut. i'd love to hear it.

the girls in general are copying kat/amber. i mean… they literally aren't. they just cut and dyed their hair, two things NEITHER KAT OR AMBER HAVE DONE in a long time/ever. i would say you're grasping at straws but that would require there to be straws.

if you think malia or katelyn are bad ppl for having subscriptions about their lives where they might post their boyfriends, boy do i have news for you about shea and stas.

anything else they said is horseshit and tbh i'm over it. call me when the girls have been found guilty of something other than being kinda annoying and attention seeking on *gasp* the internet, of all places.

[bookshelfdreams]

I posted 2,492 times in 2022

That's 419 more posts than 2021!

422 posts created (17%)

2,070 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swords-n-spindles

@mikimeiko

@bookshelfdreams

@snake-snack-stede

@knowlesian

I tagged 2,449 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#our flag means death - 1,010 posts

#esc - 340 posts

#message - 101 posts

#crafts - 101 posts

#thoughts - 74 posts

#ofmd reader - 68 posts

#german stuff - 51 posts

#!!!! - 47 posts

#anonymaus - 41 posts

#fic - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#baby. theres spinning wheels for over 1000€ what makes you think you're gonna be met with thousands of ppl starved for things they can buy

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

random ofmd thought: I love that Stede is so cringe.

He's just. Awkward. Ridiculous. Unapologetically weird at all times and he never gets any cooler. Every episode has at least one Stede moment that causes me physical pain and I love that.

Because usually, if a character is this embarrassing, their arc is about learning to be less so, to be like anyone else, to be more normal, and Stede never does. He learns to be more confident, yes, but he never stops unapologetically being his awkward self, and that's so good to see? He's fine the way he is? He doesn't have to become less himself, he just has to learn how to own it better and that's so healing to see

2,133 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#4

ofmd reader

aka Holy Shit Everyone In This Fandom Is The Smartest Person On Earth

aka a collection of my favourite meta, feel free to add your own faves!

(note that most of these don't actually have titles, I just tried my best to sum up the contents)

✬ On masculinity in ofmd by @edwardsilkheart

✬ The different genres various characters are in, and how they clash and synthesize by @fuckyeahisawthat (THIS is required reading and the reason this show works so well, all these different & contrasting flavours combined into something truly delicious. If you read nothing else on this list, read this)

✬ yk that Stede didn't actually have an evil plan to leave Ed all along right by @polyamoryprincess (on what really happened in Stede's head that night)

✬ these two posts by @mikimeiko about Ed and the mortifying ordeal of being known

✬ How does Ed like his eggs? by @forpiratereasons (on mirroring, learning how to be yourself and self-acceptance as the path to true love)

✬ Listen, I know everyone and their mother disliked Ed without the beard but I actually loved it. by @ruletogether

✬ Izzy Hands and the tenderness of violence, directed at him but not perpetuated by him by @ellicler with additional tags from @knowlesian

✬ Another one about Izzy, internalized homophobia, and subtextual queerness by @knowlesian

✬ The thing that ACTUALLY made Stede run away by @quillyfied

✬ Ed and the language of face-touching by @amuseoffyre

✬ anachronistinc costume design as a sotrytelling device by @ambassadorquark

✬ The Bathtub Scene (analyzing Ed's body language) by @orangechickenpillow plus this follow-up. I also recommend their post on clothes sharing

✬ beard media by @all-chickens-are-trans

4,851 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#3

Crocheted Important Blue Internet Checkmark. Because why the fuck not.

(Pattern under the cut)

See the full post

4,982 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

#2

A brief conversation I had with @mikimeiko on their lovely meta about the motive of loss and abandonment made me think about miscommunication some more, and how horrible Calico Jack was to Stede.

When Stede meets Calico Jack for the first time this is what he says to him:

Who's the big gal?

Off to a terrible start, and it only goes downhill from there.

As others have pointed out, this is a very mean thing to say in general and absolutely unacceptable to say to a queer man in particular, and Ed knows that. He's trying to do damage control

See the full post

7,364 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

oh but I adore how everyone in this stupid pirate show is just a guy

I haven't seen ppl talk about it much but. the absolute lack of shredded abs. people show tummy and cleavage and there's not the barest hint of muscle definition anywhere

obviously some of them are very fit but it never leaves "works a physically demanding job and happens to be naturally thin" territory

and guys are fat! guys have bellies and rounded shoulders and chubby cheeks and imperfect teeth and thinning hair and are styled weirdly (that's a whole different post but the crew especially look so unprofessional styled it's great)

and they are still all hot! they are hot and desirable and find each other hot and desirable and I love that

I love to see it! nobody in this show looks like they had a personal trainer. and not just the side characters, not just a token fat guy - obv Taika Waititi is the most beautiful man you've ever seen and that little bit of tummy pudge spilling out of his crop top made us all lose our collective minds. but it's everyone else too; and it's not the extend of it either. no other show would have let black pete within 10 feet of a romance arc, much less been this sweet and sincere about it

this show is so comfortable with the human body in all it's glorious imperfection and I am in love with it

29,716 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lonelywhalien22]

(2/2) Also . . . I can't believe you saw that post about the coworker sdkjfksdf;df - I was just getting off work in the more and I was kind of stunned when I posted that LOL 🤣😂

For some context hahaha: We have a shared workroom and he was coming on for the day and I was just getting off (read: sleep-deprived, not thinking straight hahaha). Just for personal reasons, I won't say what my profession is 😅 (though I'm sure some ppl are able to guess). He's in higher up position than me, but he works on a different team. I've only seen him in passing and said 'hi' in the hallways, but late last week, he started paying attention and talking to me more . . .???

It was so strange because I literally didn't think this man would go from 0 to 100, but we were just making small take and he just goes: "We should go get some coffee sometimes."

AND LIKE SJSDFKSDJ maybe I'm overthinking it and he just wants to go get coffee as friends . . .?? But I was just really taken aback because we aren't even tight like teammates like that 🤣😂

I told him I'd think about it 💀😂 I felt kind of bad bc he looked embarrassed after LOL, but I was taken off-guard! And everyone else in the room was like 👀👀👀

We haven't even his number (I don't want to ask and I think he's nervous to ask now bc of the power dynamic) and I only have a week left here, so who knows what will happen. I don't think it's going anywhere, but hey - he's still talking to me LOL.

Overall verdict: He's cute . . . ish?? Like not my usual type, but he takes care of himself 😭😂 I'm not sure if I'm a big fan of his personality though based on what I've seen? He's kind of brash and to some extent bro-ey . . . He kind of intimidates me ngl lol and I like witty, soft boys (read: jeonghan vernon) ._.

There was another senior from another team I had a crush on, but he moved onto a different floor 😭😂 HE WAS EVERYTHING YO LOL. (but I never talked to him sdkfjdskfjdsf)

Anyways, sorry this was so long, but you asked for the tea and I've been dying to tell someone LOL.

P.S. So excited for you to see Ed Sheearan!!! He's one of my favorite artists <3

took forever to respond because i had lots of thoughts to this part hehe

@twogyuu pls know that i spend way too much time randomly checking tumblr during the day/night so i've caught like 90% of ur delulu❤️posts/random interesting thoughts that u delete after a few minutes 👀 👀 👀 👀

*me laughing evilly as i take the biggest sip of tea known to human kind before spitting it out bc i burned my tongue lol*

☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕

omg why does your description of this interaction sound like a meet cute lol - just reading that beginning part i was on the edge of my seat 😂 now follows the thoughts of someone who has literally *0.0001%* irl romantic exp. but spends wayyyy too much time reading/watching/thinking about these sorts of things and human relationships in general (infj + enneagram type 4 wing 5 watch out lol), so take from this what you will (below the cut bc i ramble):

suddenly talking to you more often? asking to 'get coffee sometime'??? i'm like 99% sure he's into you my friend so if you agree or give him ur number he's gonna take that as a go so keep that in mind lol. this guy once asked for my number way back when i was a junior in hs and i agreed and then he legit texted me nonstop for a week before confessing his feelings - all via text. and then i rejected him bc i wasn't interested at all. 😭 so like now i don't like to give guys my number unless i actually wouldn't mind them texting me directly like that lol. i'd rather give like an insta or something.

this is just my brain thinking out loud bc i like thinking about these scenarios, not at all telling you what to do - the power dynamic def makes this yikes but if you're gonna be gone soon then that kind of eliminates that part in terms of concern. in my experience of being on both sides of the interaction, when someone says 'maybe' as a response to that kind of advance/request to hang out without any alternative plan, most people assume that's a 'no' or at the very least the rejection will keep them from asking again or following up. unless he's the type of guy that doesn't take no/ambivalence for an answer (ew) he's prob not gonna ask again so if ur interested, it'd probably have to happen from your end.

*high key* screamed internally when you said he was a bro-ey type. any time i hear that my body instantly recoils lol. is it just like the obliviously loudish but good-natured type of bro or the type of bro that takes up space and air in the worst, most entitled/rudish way possible bc one of those makes me 😳❤️ and the other makes me wanna 🤮 💀

Rip I've def felt that where there's a guy you were totally into but like you never interacted/maybe he didn't even know you existed but you still think about them 😭 I wanna say reach out to the one ur really interested in but my scaredy cat self wouldn't even take my own advice lol. I always pine from afar or literally act like a guy doesn't exist if I like him 🤣 (don't be like me but if you do this ur not alone so don't feel bad). Unless I change my stupid ways I feel like a guy will have to be genuine friends with me for longggggg af before he ever made a move to keep me from being scared af and running away. Which is embarrassing. Gotta work on that lol.

Rooting for you no matter what happens lol <3 I'll be waiting for whatever installment of ur love life you decide to share next 🍿 (only if you want to of course <3)

[izzy-b-hands]

I'm writing cute dadding/babysitting type stuff because Feelings, hence why this post is kinda a flow of thoughts mess akdnkfng

Mary and Doug end up having their own rugrat and the crew comes by to visit as a result (also to babysit and let Mary and Doug get some sleep because they were sure they could do it without hiring any help. guys, even modern parents would love to hire help/need family or friend help at a time like that.)

and everyone falls in love with Ed all over again because it turns out he's happy to just. hold the baby constantly, which is great once they realize the otherwise not eager to sleep regularly baby will sleep while held by Ed. occasionally while shirtless cuz babies really do calm with skin to skin contact when they're real teeny like that

the other big fave is Izzy, who ends up taking the rest of the night shifts singing until the baby sleeps a little (yes this is just so Con would get to sing on the show, u guys know me on this lmaoo)

issue with both of these is eventually they both need like. food, bathroom breaks, their arms go numb

enter stede and everyone else doing their best:

John is also pretty dang good with the baby. sits with them by the fireplace and waxes poetic abt fire until baby is doing that wide eyed focusless baby look into the flames. mary wonders how early you can tell if ur kid might be into arson. John says his mum noticed abt age three for him

Olu holds baby, and Jim is the one to dangle shiny things or toys to distract baby from the fact that Ed really had to eat something, it's okay, he'll come back!! they settle into leaning into each other and bouncing on their feet to soothe baby. cut to lucius catching a glimpse and falling a little bit more in love with both of them because its so fkn cute

the swede sometimes joins izzy in singing softly at night together, taking turns holding baby. they'd not connected until then really, but later they can be heard discussing if the rest of the crew would mind a night of shanties together? it would be fun! the swede also tries to entertain the other kids by showing them how scurvy took some of his teeth, and louis and alma are both horrifically entertained and just happy to have some attention on them alone

Frenchie is another who fills in with alma and louis, giving them music lessons that are less lesson and more jam sessions, where they can explore all the different instruments in the big ass fancy house. alma treats him like a pirate rock star, and he finds it v sweet but otherwise is like stede pls help her know it is not nearly as glamorous as i make it seem. he also teaches them his pyramid scheme ideas because why not? they gotta learn to make money eventually, or they should at least

Buttons helps give folks a break at night, showing baby the moon through the windows, talking softly abt it and Karl and Olivia until the loud wails lull into sniffles and then happy lil baby sighs for as long as he's talking

Roach takes on bottle duty, trotting to retrieve expressed milk Mary left for them and ready bottles. He lets Alma and Louis cook with him in the fancy kitchen, making a mess and tbh teaching them good life skills they otherwise might not learn so well as rich kids that normally have ppl making things for them. They think he's amazing, and love equally his cooking at sea and doctoring at sea stories (for the latter, the grosser the better)

Louis thinks Fang is one of the coolest ppl. He teaches Louis magic tricks and lets him vent abt being upset he isn't the baby of the house anymore. After a particularly long walk on the beach to find shells like a Real Pirate, he awards Louis one of his old spiked bracelets that he modifies to fit such a small wrist. Louis, in turn, refuses to take it off except for baths and sleeping, because it came from his best pirate friend ever!!!

Ivan is another who entertains them with stories. at night, when they're kept awake by baby, he tells them abt stuff he's seen/done over the years (carefully edited to not be too Much for two kids lmao). Stede walks in to find all three asleep, both kids snuggled up in one bed by Ivan, and he has Lucius sketch it before they wake because it's just adorable

Lucius and Pete turn parts of Stede's journal into a storybook, occasionally embellishing the stories themselves (Pete can't help himself, yeah Ed is Ed but he's still the v cool Blackbeard who can also be the fun dork they joke around with. He contains multitudes!) Lucius lets Alma confide abt the stuff she might not mention much to anyone else (how she feels abt being tutored with the other widows group kids, how she sometimes does miss Stede and she doesn't know how to feel abt it, she's getting older and she kind of feels?? things??! abt one of the girls in her class it's so embarrassing Lucius she can't even manage to talk to her without blushing!!! Lucius is just like oh you are ur dad's kid, aren't you? at that one.)

stede takes turns with all three kids as needed. alma and louis have warmed up to him more than they ever did when he was there all the time, and they still love to play pirates with their dorky dad. the new baby doesn't always love him being the one to hold them, but they do love that he will sit and rock them for hours while they sleep, in the same rocking chair he used for alma and louis. he knows he's been a crap dad putting it p mildly, but he wants to try and be better for his two, and to be a good sort of uncle to the new bab.

And Mary and Doug? Well, they're enjoying being nearby on the ship, borrowing it as a vacation home of sorts. They come back daily tho to check on the kiddos and give them love and attention before going back to being able to do the stuff kids make more difficult (sleeping, using the bathroom without a little hand trying to force the door open, eating without constant interruption, not stepping on toys while walking across a room. The essentials, ya know?)

By the end Mary admits that she wouldn't mind if they came to visit more often, if they want. Doug mentions a few dates and suddenly they've got a planned schedule for when they'll come back and hang out again.

Nobody intended to get all weepy on the day they leave, but they all do. Louis has to hug everyone, but he barely wants to let go of Fang. Alma promises to make a snack with him that Roach taught them, and he agrees to let a weeping Fang go. She's got her own fears, wishing she could have tried talking to the girl in her tutoring group before Lucius would be gone. He tells her to write him with how it goes, and that it'll go fine. Ed makes one last silly face at baby before handing them to Doug.

They sail off, everyone very quiet, going to mark personal calendars with the next day to visit. They'll feel better as they start planning what cool souvenirs to bring back to them, but for the night, everyone's feeling a bit bittersweet. They all sleep out on the deck together after story time, an unspoken need to be close agreed upon by all.

[cutemeat]

random vent/rant post about d*ed*nnis & inc*st shipper’s trivializations of the subject in general below the cut..

yknow the thing abt the shipping Incest Issue is not that I think ppl who ship the shit ‘condone’ that irl or want to fuck their siblings or whatever shit argument. i don’t even think that ‘no one should be allowed to talk or write about incest in general, ever’!!!! the actual problem i have is that often ppl are making something that is a source of trauma/emotional pain/a very complicated subject in general for people into a ‘ooooh look at my sweet, dirty perverted thing.. i love my Trash hehehe!!’ thing n that just is always so fucking weird to me.

people who do this often think they are uber-mature and everyone else is just too immature to understand that incest is a thing that happens and exists and the people who criticize them are just silly children who don’t have media literacy skills. and that also fucking infuriates me, it is so misleading. cuz most of the time, people who treat the incestuous pairings they fetishize as just some plaything that has no gravity or influence on the people who see this shit, are themselves the ones who are often so immature in their arguments and handling of their “trash”.

like if people could handle the subject with a certain degree of care and displayed a genuine interest in wanting to explore this subject and kind of dynamic with nuance and mindfulness, that’s one thing… but they DON’T! not in these fucking fandom spaces they don’t!!!! this is not an artistic integrity argument or a censorship argument. it is a why are you turning this issue into a fetishized thing argument! THAT is what’s so fucking off-putting and upsetting. you are not being ‘’silenced’’. cuz obviously you’ll keep posting if u want to. esp in smaller fandoms like. yeah no one’s gonna be able to ‘stop’ you, honestly at this point i don’t care enough to exert energy into ‘stopping’ anyone and think it’s a waste of time. cuz that never works, ppl only ever double down and it just ends up making it worse for anyone affected emotionally by this shit having it continually turned into ‘discourse’. i rlly do just generally try to block the tags and blogs and move on. i do try. like sometimes it feels like no one on either side really cares about anything other than proving themselves as the superior party n it gets exhausting. still, the ppl who are continually choosing to approach this subject in such a frivolous way and acting like poor, banished victims who just cant like anything in peace anymore when people get upset by subject matter (which is, again, being handled so carelessly) that can trigger trauma and high emotions or just in general gross people out-- it never ceases to confuse me. like how can you be that unaware of how you are coming off that you act so shocked when people express they are upset by what you are doing and *promoting? (*not promoting incest itself, obviously i fucking know that, but continuing to treat 'shipping’ that shit like it exists in fandom spaces as something now somehow detached from reality entirely-- on the same level of ‘harmless fun’ as most pairings-- and should be treated as such is what i mean)

like no, at a certain point you do not care about ‘protecting art’ or defending certain interpretations or whatever bullshit you want to bastardize in an attempt to create justifications for what you’ve decided to ship and make content for. you are no different than people who just want to say fucked up shit for “shock value” and don’t give two shits who gets hurt or ‘triggered’ and may even, god forbid, feel compelled to speak up about their discomfort or disgust.

like please just take a step back from the fandom bubble and realize that no, this is not always just about people trying to assert moral superiority over somebody. i mean i’m not stupid of course i know a lot of the time online it is about that. and it’s usually pretty obvious when that’s all that is happening most of the time, at least. however, sometimes it is a reaction because some deep emotional pain has been triggered for some one/people in what is supposed to be a ‘just for fun space’ (which as many other groups trivialized and oppressed even in ‘just for fun’ fandom spaces know already, is a fucking lie anyway lol.. like let’s not even kid around with that bullshit notion anymore)... just take a HUGE step back and fucking think a little bit more deeply about what is going on here, again, minus all the stupid fandom language that coats these arguments. because, if you want to engage with and create art, it is that deep! because newsflash, assholes, that’s how art works. like no one can gatekeep the consumption or creation of art, obviously, but if you actually want to engage with and create shit-- you have got to be able to think and analyze and acknowledge that things are that deep if you wanna make something or talk about it. if you don’t want to get deep, then you can’t use any of those ‘well it’s just art’ or ‘you can’t censor art just because you don’t like it!’ arguments that come along with it.

now, onto my more Sunny specific rant.. cuz this thing gets annoying to me, especially with Dee and Dennis because, yes, there are certainly jokes written into the show about the way their behavior comes off as odd or ‘incestuous’ to other people… and their lack of awareness or this hypocrisy that tends to come from dee and dennis’ judgements being presented to the audience is funny! but they’re jokes. and those jokes are not Supposed to actually be setting Dee and Dennis up as viable love interests.

They have an undeniably dysfunctional and codependent relationship due to trauma and growing up with chaotic, unpredictable, manipulative, and self-centered parents. However, one of the reasons Dee and Dennis struggle not only to have a healthy relationship with each other but with others as well-- is because that relationship they had early on was sexualized by their own father. The twins already gained such a warped perception of how relationships (especially ones between men and women) are meant to function growing up the way that they did and, again because of their parents, often had that view of themselves and how their relationships moving forward might be viewed-- over-sexualized.

Yes, they are fucked up! But they’re not in love or have any canonical desire to fuck each other. Like.. if u wanna ship incest, the McPoyles are right there and Canonically express that they are in love and care about each other in that way. So if you are so fascinated by that dynamic, why don’t you just ship them? (I have what I’d consider to be a pretty decent first guess as to what the answer is lol) The McPoyles and Reynolds are decidedly different in the fact that Dee and Dennis do not have those feelings for each other. The McPoyles projected that possibility onto Dennis in Who Got Dee Pregnant? and he got so sick he literally threw up.

At its core, it makes me sad because I can see how badly Dennis wanted to have a relationship with his sister that was close but not sexualized or romanticized by other people. Dee certainly wanted that too, once upon a time. But people in the canon just kept projecting their weird shit, and this extended into the fandom too. It makes me sad for these characters, despite how shitty and self-righteous they may be lol.

Like yeah it’s funny to watch Dee and Dennis get taken down a peg in their perceived superiority, but the show has done that from the start and continues to in ways that doesn��t involve incest?? Because that’s, again, not the nature of their relationship. It’s not the fucking point. Often the joke is that Dee and Dennis always asserted themselves as being more classy and more aspirational than Mac and Charlie, when in reality they’re just as (if not more) trashy and depraved (again.. in ways that don’t have to involve incest to get that point across lmao). And I can tell you that is objectively much better writing that proves they’re able to stretch themselves creatively into territories stronger than just shock value or gross out humor.

This is not purely about comfort as a viewer, this is also about respecting their abilities as writers to not get stuck in the same old corner of jokes as many shows like this do.

So, despite this being vent/somewhat of a rant, this is about as unemotional an approach as I can have for the subject. But really, overall, I just don’t fucking get it. I don’t get the persistence from people that it’s not that deep and that fandom in general shouldn’t be that deep. like do you actually want to be taken seriously (as many of the same people claim they do) or do you just want to be taken seriously except for when it gets you in trouble?

like trust me, i know there are plenty of Dee&Dennis shippers still out there. there’s nothing i can do about it. i’m not gonna try and handpick and decipher who is who. anyone who i know is and posts about it regularly enough to make me uncomfortable i’ve already just blocked. i do the shit they always say to do, okay? i do! but it is one of the reasons i get particularly anxious about posting about the twins because i don’t want it to ever be interpreted the way shippers will! because it doesn’t matter that i don’t think that is written into the show and can cite my reasons for why i believe it isn’t and never was, cuz people will still twist it that way if that’s what they want to see. so i just don’t fucking say the deeper shit i have to say about the twins most of the time because the possibility of people labelling it as a romantic/sexual thing with them triggers me and makes me fucking uncomfortable!! and yes, part of that is my own problem i do not blame anyone for that, ok? no matter how weirded out i am. but it just frustrates me when people act like it’s just nothing and if you just block a couple people it just leaves you alone. cuz it doesn’t! it won’t! and i know that it won’t!

cuz it’s always more fucking worth it to people to have their taboo trash and double down on it. or for people to be like ‘ew gross!’ and make themselves feel like they’re in the right n just make things worse by making the discourse more intense n causing said people with the taboo trash to double down n become more hostile n then those ‘ew gross’ people just fucking ditch the convo for the next best thing... and i know. i fucking know that.

gonna end this whole mess (since it’s gotten so disorganized by this point.. but yknow.. never said it was supposed to be a proper essay anywhere LOL) with one last Sunny gripe... i just hate hate haaate when people do the ‘well you ship macdennis, etc’ so you have no room to criticize me! like uhhh yes the fuck i can!

i do not feel superior to you, but there are very distinct differences between choosing to ship a toxic/dysfunctional relationship and choosing to ship incest (again, esp in the case of Dee n Dennis as it as a complicated aspect of their trauma as adults and the overall tragedy of their broken sibling relationship that has often just been played off as a joke by the in-universe characters, some of the actors/writers, and the fans alike) like... no it is not the same, actually! you are just being dimwitted and intentionally trying to pull a stupid semantic trick when you argue that, and i hope you are smart enough to at least admit that to yourself if nobody else.

ok.. fin.

[ramblingsekai]

I’ve always wondered something. How did like Kohane’s classmates react to Kohane’s glow up in the main story?

At first Kohane is the quiet, shy girl who most likely hid behind her hair and glasses and only talked to Minori and maybe Shiho sometimes. It doesn’t seem like Kohane had a lot of friends at Miya (the school, I’m not typing that whole name), before the school trip event (on JP server). She also didn’t know anyone at Kamiyama before meeting An. So she was probably a lonely person too. At some point she starts seeming happier (after meeting An), sad for a little bit (the failed stage performance bc of Kotaro), and then one day, she just shows up looking completely different.

She cut her hair, she’s wearing contacts now, and she seems more confident and probably standing up straighter. In an area convo w/ Akito later on, he tries to get her to look up more while walking so that’s something that probably happens over time, as well as making more eye contact over time. So her classmates (not Minori and Shiho since she probably told them what’s been happening in her life), probably assume that she just had a makeover or something. I like to HC that she has her street clothes with her and once the school day ends, she changes in the bathroom and then goes to Weekend Garage or something afterwards. So ppl see her street clothes, and are like whoa didn’t expect that. Her street clothes are very Kohane-style, but if you don’t know her that well it’s probably still jarring.

Here’s the HC I really wanted to get to. One day, An decides to go visit Miya to surprise Kohane and pick her up/hang out after school, but then Toya asks her if he can tag along since Tsukasa asked him to deliver a message to Saki (and we know Tsukasa has left his phone behind before *cough*dollevent*cough*). Toya also just wants to say Hi to Saki since I like to think they are kinda childhood friends too. Akito just comes too bc him and Toya are a package deal lol.

So school is over at Miya, and everyone just sees these 3 Kamiyama students standing outside by the gate. Now according to the rules of anime, like these 3 are probably very shocking to see for the Miya girls. You’ve got the stoic and coolish guy in Toya, the stand-offish, bad boy energy from Akito, and the bright/stylish/cool girl energy from An. So these like 3 incredibly cool and/or intimidating people are standing together by the gate and ppl are just like why are they here, who are they here for? And then shy, but glow-ed up Kohane just runs over to them and starts chatting with them as if it were nothing. An probably just throws her arm over Kohane or hugs her or something touchy-feely lol. Things start clicking together. Maybe some ppl are concerned, is Kohane hanging out w/ a bad crowd/is she being bullied,etc?

And then bc of the commotion Leo/need and MMJ pop up too. Toya calls out to Saki to tell her Tsukasa’s message and she just bounces up to him to chat for a bit. And Toya is smiling a little and suddenly he’s not that cold looking. The rest of Leo/need chat with him too since they’re kinda curious about Tsukasa and Saki’s friend. Airi also comes over to say Hi to Akito since he’s Ena’s little bro and she wants to probably know how he’s doing/how’s Ena doing/what did she think of this shop/etc. and Akito just can’t brush her off so he indulges Airi (and is trying to speedrun the conversation since he is probably more aware of the crowd of girls watching all of them than Toya and An). Shizuku also probably asks some stuff too since she also became somewhat friends with Ena after the picnic event. The other half of MMJ, Haruka and Minori, are also chatting with An and Kohane. And we see An and Haruka bantering with each other which is also shocking to the population of Miya since Haruka is usually so polite.

Maybe Shizuku also wonders over to Saki and Toya’s convo since maybe she had heard about Toya from Tsukasa at some point (idk if Toya would have had the chance to talk to Shizuku but we’re here now) and they also sort of bond over Tsukasa’s weirdness.

At some point, the more socially conscious ppl like maybe Akito, Airi, Shiho, Honami, and/or Haruka realize they’re blocking the gate and either they decide to move somewhere else or disband for the day since they’re all probably busy with something. 

(I’m so sorry Mafuyu but I couldn’t figure out how to make you interact with any of these ppl without the other 25 ji members there. Maybe Shizuku could have tried to convince her but it’s unlikely that it would work).

Now you maybe wondering why I made this scenario. Bc if Kohane can visit the Kamiyama school, then the Kamiyama students can visit Miya. And I want more interactions. So I pushed all of the characters I could think of together.

I swear I feel like I’m forgetting some ppl, but this is all my brain could churn out. Anyways, thoughts? Got something wrong? Let me know. Thanks for reading!

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 111

sigh~~~ I feel that my recent posts are a bit negative towards the anime, but thats cuz the chapters I’ve read so far are either unbelievably important character depth content cut for no valid reason or content in the anime but packed with million other things that it lost its purpose or importance. Basically tohu’s ep 6 which consists of 4 chapters & now ep 5 which is a momiji ep & yup, packed with 4 chapters as well... so, I apologize for any negativity, my intention is just analyzing artistic & story-telling aspects, I love se03, but yeah it screwed up lots of important characters due to its not so thorough plot decisions & harmful character insight choices.

today.. we explore Momiji... but only before his curse breaks.

Furuba anime struggling to know how to design an episode based on various plot-heavy chapters?

so, they decided 13 eps, & decided one ep for momiji cuz motoko’s graduation & the fanclub is the core of the furuba & have already cut tons of tohru, cuz who cares? she’s kind. be like her. end of lesson. No. really, jokes aside, how to do this?

How to combine several chapters in one ep? collect small snippets from chosen chapters/content like a bee does flowers? you gotta skip some content, you gotta highlight others. The ep is only 20 min after all & you got an op & Ed that you cant always skip.... so.. furuba team decide that momoji’s ep should be true to his zodiac animal, this is the rabbits last appearance in spirit. so, they went with quick hopping from one chapter to the other like a rabbit?

No really, ep 5 is really like a rabbit in its flow, you can’t savior a moment enough before jumping to the other: we learned momiji grew up!! loves toheu romantically, challenged kyo, really meant it, wanted a fair love game, got freed, lost tohru romantically & faced momiji! but that’s not all? we still have space!! quick add akito’s moodiness & love triangle with her dog & her submissive bed partner, add a happy comedy for no reason whatever & make shigue kiss tohru & wish shes 'was his lover instead!!!!!!!!! Mind you all this happened in the anime before shigure hurt tohru with his “the truth of the zodiacs talk & them accepting & feeling consolance that kyo is doomed”talk. 

-Gets whats my biggest surprise after reading this chapter ?????????

Shigure is consistent!! He isnt a rabbit hopping here & there. The dog is loyal & is tired for good reason! Him being depressed & his weird talk with thoru makes so much sense given the manga’s order.

Kyo is consistent!! In the anime, momiji surprise him with confession he loves tohru & challenge him, then kyo la~la~la~joins them downstairs for curry. Not a single expression on his face, where is the expression? it will appear when the plot is forced to address it: by the end of the ep when momiji face hin again. Then we get kyo’s reaction.

I need someone to tell the anime that actions require a reaction. You can refrain from showing a certain reaction if you can’t address it now, but you can’t erase it, negate it, then make it appear when have to!!!! couldn’t they make kyo refuse to join them & eat together? the     other characters wont be surprised they think he’s needlessly moody. The audience will know that kyo is troubled with momiji’s challenged & it will excite them!!! having kyo just go eat & watch the momiji/hiro/haru/yuki comedy skit is weird.

The manga’s author wanted kyo to join the dinner, like the anime did. but huge difference. the author actually cares for logic reaction & understands that the audience aren’t dumb little kids that will sit & wait for kyo’s turn to...react! nope! she did this: (a) & (b) below.

-Lost Small Bits/ Panels from the chapter.. But Sadly Big Huge Chunks for Characters buildup & Growth:

(a) addressed the fact the hiro noticed kyoru is in love & dressed that shigure was right!! the cat being in love is a weird concept to the zodiacs! hiro reacted naturally & the author used hiro to flesh yuki’s (the rat), momiji’s (the rabbit) & haru’s (the cow) decision to silently watch the kyo (the cat) makes his own decisions to live!!! They won’t interfere or tell akito or remind him of his state as the doomed caged cat. So sad this moment is cut from yuki. Why must yuki only interact with kyo to beat him (all seasons)? why must yuki only think of kyo to envy him (all seasons) ? Here, yuki’s growth towards kyo as a person & his relationship with tohru is 1000 times better than all tohru is my mom’s sh!t & I envy kyo’s Sh!t we saw in the anime over & over till we memorized it.

(b) kyo didnt just go la~la~eat with momiji after knowing he loves tohru. Nope, there’s small bits missing: called logical emotional reaction. He was surprised he’s caught pining over tohru! cuz yuki, the audience representative, has told us in the previous chapter that ppl in love dont notice anything around them. Kyo thinks him being cold hid his feelings. the dummy’s feelings are as bright as the sun in the Sahara, tohru too. a child read her! such small thing that wont take much space from the ep but was cut cuz kyo only needs to be responsive at the ep’s end. & this scene of kyo & tohru looking awkwardly at each other is minor in space but so important cuz kyo is determined to let go but his decision is challenged by not only momiji, but his natural attraction to tohru. Here he knows he’s caught & exposed... here he knows momiji is a better choice for tohru cuz he wont didn’t hurt her mom... here he knows that even yuki is better cuz never had to pretend to be cold to her... here he knows the world is better than him... & here he just cant help by smile & walks towards her... T_T ... another lesson in writing slow burns by Takaya-san.

-Why would the anime team pass on this?? drawing kyoru closer after the epic tear in Cinderella ep, cuz they want empty suspense~! The anime team thinks that if kyo & tohru stand next to each other, then it means all their issues are solved & the audience are so stupid as to forget tohru’s mom, kyo’s imprisonment, kyo not confessing his sins to tohru & tohru’s need to make a choice wether to fogive hom or not.. nope! you see, they think, ppl who read mangas are smart, so the author can give this epic symbolism & pp would still be not sure kyoru is end game & tohru will forgive him or kyo even fogive himself, but ppl who watch, oh no, gotta cut all the plot worthy content, produce a graduation song for a minor character, cut all kyo/tohru interaction cuz it only means romance & not at all character depth & oh if we show yuki actually formulating deep thoughts that aren’t centered around him, the audience might forget his se02 struggles! or that might ruin yuki’s upcoming growth moment in the finale where he .. you guessed it hits kyo.. as he always do & sulk &  think abt himself cuz yuki can only do monologues when he’s directly involved.... man~it is so sad how the anime is dumped down.. Who is the target audience again? not kids as young as hiro cuz even hiro is smart!

-just look:

 Momiji talks abt kyo shouldn't give up loving tohru & the authr shows this this ghost!!! his mom! The author reminds us that kyo isnt da~~~~ forgetting anything. He’s a deeply troubled soul & hos mom wants him locked cuz she too was locked in a cage & thinks that’s safer...why oh why you dump ur own story! sh!t~

Side Notes:

I like the closeups on Kisa’s face as she interacted with kyo. It’s very rare for kisa to have a world beside the endearing parental/big protective bro/big doting sister love she has with tohru & haru & off course the romantic love with hiro which was perhaps since their birth or sth. lol.  Kisa & kyo arent much on the brotherly side as they rarely interact, but its one of those  refreshing  interactions she has that helps cast a new light on her as tiny as it is,  but its sth out of the norm around her. She sees him  around tohru & gets to perceive his true unprovoked character. “He is  nice guy”.

I really wanted to punch kureno this chapter.. like Shigure is a jerk shitty dog for sleeping with akito’s mom but kureno... dude.. you submissively sleep with the guy’s eternal love interest & still walks in on him talking to her!!! lol. you’re mentally, emotionally & physically weaker than him & yet, she puts you on her bed, not him & you, tho not wanting her at all, dont walk away. No wonder shigure is defeated & wishing for someone like tohru, lol! Even if shigure met an older tohru-like person, it wont work. shigure deserve someone like him mean, schemer & loves playing power games. Tohru is someone who values honesty & commutation, not saying she’s an angel on earth, but tohru knows who suits her.. except fate is saying: NO. .... currently. lol.

I know kureno’s weakness is part of his character & I love that such characters exits. There are ppl ike that in real life. It’s just this chapter, I felt shigure’s frustration. XD

Yuki in this ep is the best yuki. no exaggeration here, I love when yuki is calmly thoughtful of others & here its kyo of all ppl !!!! cutting this scene is sad.. without it, kyo & yuki remain a cat & rat in the anime. Only ever thinking abt each other thro envious binoculars or hateful words or yuki giving kyo comedic hitting or life’s problem-solving hitting. Why can’t anime yuki be interactive outside his self-centered issues is beyond me.

Momiji & kyo’s interactions are always the best! whether comedy or drama.

I hated the curry cooking scene in the anime... so weirdly out of the ep’s flow.. very forced comedy... in the manga it had a purpose! not just quick add comedy cuz next shot momiji curse breaks & drama & we’ll close the ep with tears & sadness & glimpses of hope...

I love haru’s answer to hiro... so him.. “a guy can’t fall in love?”so chill.. so..simple.

[imaketheladiesmcswoon]

i am going to tell you about my melissa tgwdlm hcs now because i want to

me rn:

alrighty let’s start w the el gee bee tees

i hc melissa as an ace lesbian and a trans girl (she/her for now)

also i hc her and ted as being quite close friends coz they just like to gossip about everyone at ccrp

trans woman/trans man solidarity 😌

yes i hc ted spankoffski as a trans man but i think you already knew that *glances at icon*

also i made this oc, a person called lotte who works at beanies and in my hc melissa has a crush on herrr

ooo wait lemme make a picrew of her

lotte - they/she - transfem nonbinary ace grayro sapphic (im thinking probably lesbian but i’m not sure yet)

melissa and lotte t4t ace4ace girlfriends <33

also the hc is that they’re one of zoeys theatre friends

as well i hc melissa as being mixed (half white half latina (mexican to be more specific)) and she knows some spanish but isn’t fully fluent

ik most of these hcs are so ooc and random but idc <3

also hc that melissa has a lil lesbian flag on her clipboard and one day ted saw it (before ted and melissa became friends, this was like their first interaction probs like within a week of melissa joining ccrp) and was like “fuck yeah women am i right“ and melissa was so scared but was like “yeah women are great“

about trans melissa i have this hc that melissa had to take time off work to go get her top surgery and when mr davidson asked why she had to take time off she was like “u um t top surgery” and mr davidson was like okay cool

coz melissa was scared he would be like that’s not a valid reason to take a day off

the days she was off everyone was like where’s melissa and mr davidson was like oh she’s having top surgery and everyone immediately texted her like WOOO YOU GET THOSE TITTIES GIRL

lets just say she was very concerned checking her phone after the surgery

i have a hc that the Exact same thing happened with paul when he got his top surgery and that’s why they all immediately knew to text melissa congratulating her

also crack hc that ted sent her a card in the post that had congratulations on your anniversary on but he crossed out anniversary and wrote titties

she magnet-ed the card up on her fridge

also angst time hc that melissas parents cut contact w her when she came out as trans lol

like she was 18 so they didnt legally have to provide for her anymore so they were like bye bye <3

also i hc that melissa has a bunch of siblings that are all cishet but super overly supportive

omg hc that they’re all brothers and they’re all like yeahhh we like women too B)

omg hc that like melissa has no one to celebrate christmas with and ted also has no one coz his parents are transphobic too and he’s joking like “lol what if we celebrated christmas together haha slash jay” and she’s like “haha no but what if slash serious,,,”

also hc that melissa is the ace stereotype of just confused by allosexual ppl

like whenever charlotte or ted are like yeah i have sex she’s just like ew why /hj

omg imagine if one day there’s like an office party or smth and some ppl bring their partners and paul sees melissa with lotte and melissa sees paul with emma and they’re both like YOURE DATING A BARISTA FROM BEANIES AS WELL

paul and melissa are like omg how did we not know that the other was dating a beanies barista too while emma and lotte are like oh hey bestie

imagine charlotte brings sam and lotte is like hey isn’t zoey dating that guy- and melissas like HAHA SHUT UP BABE <3

thats all for now folks B)

[8lah8lah]

still talking abt acespec questioning stuff still maybe tmi

allosexually thinking loads of ppl are hot and loving sexual stuff as a concept and very much having the like Aesthetic of a lavish whore but the second anyone i... aesthetic attraction and/or libido-ly and/or hypersexually and/or simply Recognizing theyre hot or wearing smth intended to be sexy, -ED-LY THINK IS HOT has anything to do with me or the feelings could be reciprocated or they like me back or whatever anything where being sexual together is a real possibility i'm like. what is anything suddenly. this is SOLELY hypersexuality that's keeping me here now. what was it in you i liked again? i like your body so much so why am i not interested when it's being applied to me??? why are you someone id drool over in theory but in practice it feels robotic and played-out and like it's not my own, like i'm not the one doing this? i wanna return your feelings, why am i running off empty now, why is there nothing to give, why is it just a hollow shell of attraction, just actions but absolutely nothing behind them past 'but i have to do this, so!!' (<--hypersexuality)

that might sound like i Am attracted to them before and THEN they become not hot but it's more like. okay: -hypersexual thing of 'think of everyone sexually even if i dont want to even if i dont see it even if i dont like them my brain will absolutely never let me have a break it's just intrusive thoughts of 'HAHA WHAT IF YOU FUCKED!!!!!!!! YOU WOULD BE COOL IF YOU DID THAT' constantly constantly constantly Literally Ad Nauseum' -sincere aesthetic attraction esp towards girls that are like, my Type, im like oh WOW i like YOU i admire you so much id wanna be like you/i wouldnt wanna look like you specifically but i respect it so much/like how youre put together etc etc that im just like. wow wowww i love you. the thing of 'seeing someone and being like omg heart eyes sighing swooning' being As In you like them romantically/sexually, BUT FOR ME THAT'S, ALL IT IS, IM LIKE WOW HEART EYES [IT STARTS AND ENDS THERE] -Recognizing someone is hot. wow that's a really short skirt. wow your necklace says pussy. wow those are some cool thigh-highs. wow that's a provocative pose. wow this photo is certainly framed in certain ways. i'm supposed to find this hot i'm supposed to get something from this but it cuts off the second i stop being like 'this is objectively hot' but because these things are like designed to get more from you it makes this weird loop of me liking it and feeling absolutely nothing in the same breath because i dont feel anything past 'that is hot [stated matter of fact-ly]' -libido [end of sentence] AND IT'S EASIER TO SUMMARIZE IT ALL AS 'I THINK PPL ARE HOT', AND THEN I GET WITH THEM, AND THEN IT'S LIKE. OH THERE WAS NOTHING HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE AND IT'S CLEAR AS DAY NOW CAUSE IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT ADMIRING YOU ANYMORE. AHHHHHHHHHHH IM SOOO ALLOSEXUAL SOO SOO BAD ♥

[monstress]

thoughts on cowboy bebop 2021 under the cut

my expectations were LOW so like...the show isn't bad but it wasn't great either

cons:

the pacing is sooo slow why did they need to pad an original 20 min eps series to 40-60 mins??? after eps one, i played this in 1.25x speed and turned my brain off and it immediately became more watchable

speaking of padding, i was excited for more Julia backstory but not like THIS......ma'am im so sorry but you'll always be a bad bitch who had her own mysterious adventure outrunning the syndicate in my mind instead of gaslight gatekeep girlbossing your way to the top. spike was right...JULIA THIS ISN”T YOU!!!!

after the first eps, i do ffw every syndicate scene which isn't great since it covers half the runtime. i think what’s great abt the original is that much of the shadowy organization - its characters, relationships, and influence is left to the viewer’s imagination so like demystifying them diminishes their intimidation

the sexytumblrman-ification of vicious. why........

the writing is rough as hell and i deeply admire the few actors who could pull it off....

......which leads to the julia and vicious characters. oof wow. what was casting thinking. switch them with asimov and katerina’s actors and i’d might actually watch their Marriage Story b-plot

that fetishizing comment to jet like i cringed so hard but at least it had a cute moment of spike and jet laughing abt it afterwards but we could do without that

i know they changed gren’s plot bc the writers might want to avoid the bury your gays trope but i wish they were more essential to the plot and had more to do

oof i wished this adaptation was done by apple tv or amazon prime like netflix is cheap as hell for scrimping on the production budget for a show where it is all abt world-building and ~vibes

and the vibes were OFF...like choose a tone! choose a genre! what are u trying to say here! what is permeating and unsaid in every eps!

the Ed reveal...god that didn't translate well to live action....i was also like...who the hell is this pale child 😭 not this show going 2 for 2 on casting white ppl for lead roles originally of poc

THE ENDING??? et tu, julia? the last 10 mins sours the entire show mashallah what a disservice to spike, julia and vicious and abt how tethering yourself to ghosts while trying to survive in capitalist isolation will ultimately undo you

pros:

the music??? new Seatbelts???? yoko kanno i owe you my life

EIN....majorly underused but a delight everytime onscreen

sorry to my mans john cho but mustafa shakir is carryingggg this show i mean GET this man booked in every project like i’ve been saying since luke cage honest god he deserves it

john cho is great i like him he makes me smile like we as a society are overdue of him gracing the screen as THE sexy leading man (rip abc selfie...)

faye is gay and i knowww it’s because they had the mechanic substitute gren since they had so many changes to their character but the moment where she gets all emotional since it taps into something she hasn’t realized or FORGOTTEN abt herself like idk if im reading too much into it but i shall

when the bebop team bicker, banter, then work together...peace and love and friendship on earth and beyond 😇❤️

they actually bought the loofah on a stick T T the callback made me laugh and broke my heart at the same time

the flashback scene in eps 9...ok maybe i DO allow some syndicate scenes and julia & vicious can actually hv chemistry! just not with each other :/ 

eps 7 is the best eps. i did like the small alteration in faye’s backstory and u can’t play the scene of faye watching that tape of herself and not have me cry. that scene in particular is a standout it’s like the first time the show actually breathes and hv a quiet moment - letting the actors do their thing and hv the viewer emphatize with their reactions (gonna ignore the irony that the best part of this show is when there’s no dialogue slgsklgkslgkl)

tl;dr: not a good show, you can skip this even if ur not a fan. it’s fine and not as bad as ppl make it out to be but watching the og is a much better use of ur time.

[calangkoh]

What do you think is the difference in Al’s characterization/development in 03 vs. BH? Which Al do you prefer?

i could be totally wrong about everything im about to say. this is all my takeaway, and its going to differ from other people’s.

i think the main difference is in 03 al is the deuteragonist and in bh al is just a few steps above side character. In 03 al is as important as ed and has a lot more say on things. he acts more like an actual brother by butting heads with ed and speaking up more. bh al most of the time comes across as a sidekick. bh al’s character development isnt a big thing because theres not much TO develop when he’s more of a supporting role vs in 03 where he has many established flaws to be expanded on.

i am not criticizing bh here, and its not something im mad about in the slightest. but it is why i prefer 03, because the appeal of fma for me was always the brothers, and 03 focuses way more on the brothers (their growth, their struggles, their relationship, etc), ironically, more than brotherhood which has a wider cast and world it divides its attention on (and i like a wide cast and big world as much as an intimate character study, it just so happens in fma’s case it was always the brothers that captivated me over the world, so naturally the show that zeroes in on the brothers as opposed to zooming away from them more and more is the one i prefer).

03 al is rougher around the edges, has more obvious flaws, and his development seems to be about becoming more decisive and proactive and less passive, with a heavy emphasis on survivors guilt and the effects the armor has on his psyche. it spends more time giving al the attention his horrific situation deserves.

in bh, al is a sweet and supportive brother who serves to motivate ed and be useful to the plot when he can with his body. his development seems to center around accepting how useful his body is? which good for him, but illustrates my point of bh having its characters be more like set pieces. al only gets development in scenes where he can move the plot forward.

i love both als. bh al is easier to love because he’s very “nonoffensive” and “unobstrusive.” hes sweet and kind and has funny moments and is just an endearing boy. its impossible not to love al. 03 has the same qualities but with more of a challenge because 03 actually gives him substantial flaws to overcome. 03 al can be harder to love sometimes because of his flaws, because he makes mistakes and acts like an idiot and gets angry and is wrong sometimes. but he’s a much more deeply-written, well rounded, dimensional character for it.

but yknow sometimes a simpler and more clean cut character like bh al is what a story needs, and what the audience needs. a black and white wholly Good character who inspires us and simplifies things for us in impactful ways is just as valuable as a flawed and complicated one that makes us question ourselves. i love both als, i think they are both fantastic. obviously i prefer 03, though.

i think in terms of personality differences, and this is just my interpreation of their characters (and my interpretion of bh al could always be way off since i dont remember details of bh as well as 03), if they met youd be able to quickly see that 03 al is more outspoken. Even if 03 al is still the rational calm and observant one to eds impulsivity, he still has opinions and is attempting to broaden them. hes more inclined to question things, offer new possibilities, reach out to other people for connections, all for the purpose of understanding things, in my interpretation. Bh al is more strictly an observer. both are introverts, but 03 al comes across more extraverted because he reaches out more to find answers and will also actively converse and discuss with people, while bh al is almost all quietly thinking to himself.

03 al at the end of his journey is also noticibly rougher. bh al is still the big idealist and softie. hes smily, always beaming, always excited to indulge in life. 03 al is like that too but more often feels fake, because it partially is. theres more sadness behind the same smile thats on bh al’s face. bh al’s smile is bright and happy and cheerful but 03’s masks longing and regret. bh al is much less confrontational but he is much more sassy and snarky, now confident enough to embrace that inner snark and “dam im real done with ppls bullshit but im still a nice person so im not afraid to throw some shade.” 03 al is actually confrontational. he actually is able to get up in your face and tell you off (or if youre someone he cares about, lecture you to take better care of yourself because dammit life is too fragile and he wont stand idly by letting shit happen in front of him any more—hes very much like winry in this sense). hes snarky, yes, but his snark is more strictly for joking and when it comes to conflict he’s straightforward and direct.

Edit: not to say 03 al IS confrontational—hes still a sweet boy who will avoid it, but just by comparison to bh al he’s less afraid of conflict when its necessary. like “i hate conflict and will avoid it because i dont like to hurt other people but i WILL confront people if its necessary, even if i dont like doing it” while bh al is “i will avoid conflict at all costs but you WILL endure my snarky tongue if youre getting on my nerves, but if it actually bothers you and could potentially start a legit fight ill obviously keep my sassy comments to myself.” important to note they both still give everyone the benefit of the doubt and trust everyone is good at heart and no one wants to do any harm, and always have that assumption in their interactions. altho again, 03 al is more inclined to be paranoid “yes i will give everyone the benefit of the doubt but doesnt mean im not watching my back cause i dont trust so easily anymore and i dont want to be manipulated or taken advantage of ever again”

[this-is-my-main-i-follow-from]

I already wrote this post, but I’m coming backk up to the top to put a cut bc it’s p long.

my brother is singing falsettos out loud & I’ve already had a stressful day bc I’ve done nothing (lack of structure & lack of productivity gives me really bad anxiety) & he’s either singing out of key & out of time, or it just sounds really bad without the music. He’s the only one who can hear the music bc HeadPhones. & also the falsettos is probably really bad for my mom bc she’s mad that dad left her, esp bc the house is a mess & stressing her out & she needs to go grocery shopping & he used to do that “but now he doesn’t because he stopped loving [her]”, so my bro singing fucking falsettos is really bad. I can’t cook supper bc I don’t have a recipe & the stuff is still frozen & idk what kind of dough I should make & besides the kitchen is a mess & he won’t fucking clean it. I mean it’s also partially my fault bc I’m a lazy adhd mofo, but it’s his job today & my job to cook. I need to get into the kitchen & cook before mom & my OTHER brother get home from shopping but I can’t bc he’s just drawing & singing & the singing is so annoying- I was trying to listen to a thing but I couldn’t fricking hear it bc adhd auditory processing disorders, it didn’t have fucking subtitles or anything & it was not great audio quality & I couldn’t differentiate between the words he was singing, & I couldn’t hear the quiet parts when they overlapped with his singing. I wasn’t going to write all of this I was just going to say that his singing makes me want to cut myself, but apparently there’s a lot more to it. also I don’t want to end up cooking while mom is home bc I don’t have any drawings on my arm & mom is fucking nosy & wants to see my scars so I have to work extra hard at hiding them but even with ppl who arent nosy, like my little bro I don’t like them out, but the longer my older bro sits there fucking yelling out of key, the longer I’m delayed & I won’t be able to cook. By this point, I won’t even be able to cook the meal I was planning on, I have so much shit to do I’ve missed so much & I’m so behind, but I’m so incapable of doing anything like i can’t do chores bc I use the excuse I have homework but I never fucking do my homework so I’m also behind in school & even with the stuff I like like dnd & writing & violin I can’t do, & I skipped online kung fu & I’ve been slacking off under so many excuses but I’m just being lazy & anxious & I also gained so much weight & it makes my body feel so bad & i know this isn’t my body’s happy weight & being fat makes my boobs bigger & I’m fucking trans & I hate them I even tried cutting them off myself & ended up waiting 15 hours to go to the hospital so that I wouldn’t make mom suspicious (& they put me through triage really fast bc apparently I did a lot of dammage- I was planning on giving myself stitches, but my icepack melted & I couldn’t numb my body anymore so they’re lucky I even went to the hospital, it was bad bc I had to walk 20 minutes either way weighted down with a fucking toolbox & I waited outside in the cold bc my phone died & thus:) mom found out anyways so I lied to her about going to buy drugs bc obv /that’s/ a better idea than telling her I went to the hospital & SHUT UP UNNAMED OLDER BROTHER ok he’s between songs now. If I told mom I went to the hospital she would ask why & be like “y didn’t u tell me” & “r u cutting urself again” & like yeah bitch I have been for a while ik the social worker said I should tell you a codeword, but I don’t do that bc u blame yourself or cry or want to talk about & I yes I fucking cut myself what of it? Yeah I tried fucking removing my own left breast, bc u arent’ supportive of medical transitioning, at least not when they’re ur kids. Ur mad at dad bc he got a tattoo bc it’s  body modification & thus uncatholic, but u’ll support ur catholic university friends gettin gtheir eldest daughter a reduction bc her boobs are big & painful- bitch what’s so different about me? I went so far as to try giving myself a reduction, you say you’re concerned about me mutilating my body & making bad decisions, but, you know what? because of this I have legitimately mutilated my body, & made a dangerous & bad decision. isn’t autosurgery proof that I need top surgery bc it’s a danger to my life if I don’t get it? The government is able to pay for it I think & bc it’s a danger to my health (& i get pain & I can’t work out & I get back pain & my skin pulls & hurts & if I jump my tissues yank my skin & it hurts & it puts so much strain on my back, & binding gives me pain, so I need a reduction as much as your catholic university friends’ daughter does) I should be abe to qualify. Even if I don’t qualify yet & have to wait two years, at least that would be the start of two years now instead of in a long time, I mean, mum, you say you want me to talk about it & you’re afraid I’m rushing into it? guess what? They are too! the healthcare system will make me do a bunch of shit to qualify, & tbh, I think that they are better qualified to talk to me about surgery & what I really want than you.  Fucking finally, I hope my brother is done his play & finally shuts up. TA MA DE FUCK NO HE’S STARTING AGAIN CROWS DAMN IT CROWS CROWS CROWS & MAGGOTS I”m not even gonna be able to make anythiung for supper & i have no ideas besides the long one which I don’t have time for anymore. fine. whatever. I’ll go SH in my room. I won’t even work on fanfic bc I’m too fucking adhd & broken. I fucking hate it when ppl say “we;re all a bit adhd” like no bitch shut the fuck up, we all struggle with the things adhd ppl struggle with sometimes, but adhd is a neurological condition that makes those struggles so commonplace & intense that it affects our everyday lives. & no. adhd does not mean we’re more creative. Even if we do have more likeliihood of coming up with funky ideas, most of us struggle to articulate them or understand them, or we forget them as soon as they come. you’re not adhd bc you’re a little more creative, youre just an ableist asshole & fuck you. adhd isn’t creativity its’ a fucking disability. I’m directing this at those fucking parents who have the lovely nd daughter who gave me a hug, but you two are motherfuckers. Yeah I get thaat adhd, once you learn how to mannage it, can be useful, & I understand that part of the reason this disability is so hard is bc society isn’t designed for it (like a lefty using right hand scissors), but ot’s still fuxking REAL & if you can’t deal with it yet, it 100% is a disanbility. OK? Ok. I had smth I was going to say earlier, but I got distracted by smth else that made me mad, so I never got around to it. Youo know what I love? I fucking love how tumblr has next to no character limit so I can just type as much as I want. You know what I don’t like? I’ll probably get deactivated by some SJW maggot-eaten crow-fucker who thinks that my rant& mentioning my failed ed & my self harm (oh fuck shut up, my brother is chanting “dumb”) so anyways some fucking sjw fuck-hole will report this post & my blog & I’ll be deactivated for simply getting angry on tumblr. It’s fucking tumblr! You used to be able to say whatever you needed to say! But now, esp us ppl w EDs, have no safe place to talk about our issues (at least, not w/o fear of gettin gterminated for “encouraging” EDs, when we’re just trying to help ourselves). Anywasy, sorry for all the swears & go se, I swear when I’m mad. I’m gonna go do smth, idk what. Can’t be anything productive, Can’t even be unproductive stuff I like, like watching youtubem, or smth cathartic like playing fiddle. I might just go & bleed a bit & ignore everything for a while. I nkow that the world will still be stressful when I get back, & I’ll still have to cook, & I’ll still be behind in school, & mom will still be broken-hearted over dad, but I’m feeling calmer just thinking about it so that’s what I’ll do.