poeticspiritualsoul

[genuflecting]

conflating sexual orientation with genital preference is just so weird to me. I told someone I was gay last night and they asked if I was into dick or pussy, and it completely short circuited my brain as I tried to explain that it's about gender, not genitals. It feels like if instead of asking someone if they liked coffee or tea, asking if they liked opaque or clear hot beverages. Like, I like tea with milk and also without, and I like coffee with cream but also espresso, but not black coffee? And in that same way, if someone is just squicked out by tea with milk that's completely valid for them, but to then extrapolate their own experience outward and define a tea drinker as someone who doesn't like milk is both a logical fallacy and reductive of the human experience. Gender and sex is so much more complex than that and I can't fathom trying to reduce it down to such a false binary.

[wasawattpadkid]

Housewife

Part - 4

Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?

Pairing: poly!ghostface x fem!reader

Warnings for this series: murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating, hinting masturbation

Part 1

"This is my favorite outfit so far." Tatum clapped as you spun around. The outfit in question was a checkered skirt matched with a sleeveless mock turtleneck top. Thankfully the stockings you bought yesterday had yet to fail. You kicked up your white go go boot striking a pose for a laugh. "This whole style choice of yours is dick repellent." Randy said, opening up his granola bar. You snatched it from him taking a bite. "You'll have to give me some tips then because I'm pretty sure you get more dick than all of us combined. And that's including Stu so that says something." Stu pointed at you surprised at the sudden dig. "How'd you know?" He said making the group laugh harder. Randy grabbed his granola bar back not caring you had just eaten part of it. You laid down on the concrete resting your head on Randy's lap.

"Since when did you two get so close?" Stu asked knowing about how hostile yesterday was. "Since I found out she's a lesbian." Randy joked. Billy looked at you seemingly to give the idea some thought. "She can do whatever she wants to it's a free country, as long as she invites me to watch." Stu said and Tatum shook her head. "Me and Randall here made up in 2nd period. He's not so bad when he's not babbling on about shitty horror movies."

Randy stands up knocking your head forward. "Okay which is better Texas Chainsaw Massacre the 1974 original or Aliens the 1979 original?" Billy scrunched up his nose like that was even a question. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre no contest." Billy spoke and Stu echoed his answer. Even Tatum put her two cents in. "Leather face is in Texas Chainsaw Massacre right?" Stu nodded. "Oh then that movie." Everyone looked at Sydney to give the last answer. "Don't look at me I haven't seen either of them." Billy laid back down mimicking your position.

"Aliens is by far a better choice because-" Stu started throwing grapes at him not missing a single shot. "Booooo!" You laughed at Stu happy to know the crowd agreed with you. "Told ya." You chimed as Randy sat back down. "What are you two doing tonight?" Sydney asked Stu and Billy. "Probably chill at my place, watch some movies. Why you wanna come?" She shook her head. "I was just curious." Sydney said picking at her nails. "Welp I'm going to split. If I don't see ya have a good weekend." You waved them off as you went back into the school. Walking the halls you headed towards the nearest bathroom.

You propped your purse up on the sink pulling a compact out. Funny enough the bags under your eyes seemed softer than they've been in months. "You sure are in a good mood today." Billy said as Stu locked the door. You jumped at his voice clutching imaginary pearls. "Did we scare you?" Stu asked leaning on Billy. "What gave it away Sherlock?" You closed the compact sliding it back in your purse. "You two shouldn't be in here." Stu bent down to check under the stalls. "Relax we're the only ones here." He said standing back up. "Still, being a girl in a bathroom with two guys that have girlfriends isn't really a good look for me."

"It's not like we're going to have our way with you." Billy watched your body tense up at Stu's words. "Unless you'd want that of course." You were uncomfortable. You'd like to say you trusted them but you'd only known them for 3 days. "Lay off man." Billy shrugged his friend arm off his shoulder before talking again. "We just came in here to ask about tonight. I'm running by the video store after school, what movie do you want to watch?" You calmed down just a little seeing Stu smile at you. It was genuine not one with two meanings behind it.

"Any movie? Or are you wanting horror movies?" Stu hopped up sitting on the sink. "We're watching Christine first." Billy looked at him then back to you. "Whatever you want to watch." It was a risk. He wouldn't sit though some boring ass chick flick. Not even for you. He's seen one too many with Sydney. "Have you seen Ferris Bueller's day off?" Both the boys shook thier head. "Are you being serious? It's one of the best movies ever." You said shocked. They highly doubted that but they let you have your moment.

You and the boys made plans for tonight. Billy would stop by the video store to pick up Christine, Ferris Bueller's day off, and he refused to tell you what he picked out. Saying "it's a surprise." You volunteered to cook dinner. They argued saying they could live off popcorn but you wouldn't allow it. Anyone staying at your house would be having a home cooked meal. Stu was simply bringing himself and a deck of cards.

The bell rang and you quickly shoved your school supplies in your locker leaving them for the Monday to come. "Are you ready to have your mind blown?" Stu's hands blew away from his head as he stuck his tongue out faking an explosion. "I doubt your little movie is that good. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt." Stu tried to hold hands with you which you quickly shut down. "If you're worried about Tatum and Syd they're both already gone. Dewy picked them up." You were worried about them. You were also worried about that giddy feeling crawling back up your chest. "I'm not worried I'm appalled. I'm not some cheap whore you know?" You walked backwards for a second to catch his reaction.

"I'm well aware of that Ms. Crocker." The two of you cracked jokes and had playful banter as you made it to your car. "Do I get to pick music this time?" With the puppy like expression on his face he already knew your answer. "Sure but you're not going to like the options." You both slid into the car, Stu going straight for the glove box. "Elvis, Beatles, Boston, the Bee Gees? Really?" You looked at him with a smile. "Don't shit on the Bee Gees." You said holding back a laugh. The car pulled out of the parking lot heading straight to your place. "I care about you but we've got to do something about this." He held up a Carpenters tape with a look of shame on his face. "Most of these aren't even mine okay?" He simply hummed with doubt.

"Whatever you say Betty." He grabbed one tape pushing it into the tape deck. "This, I can get behind." He said confident in his selection. "What'd you pick-" Stu's finger rested on your lips. "Shh let it play." You swatted his hand away with a smile. Space Oddity began playing to your surprise. "I learn something new about you everyday." You said as he began singing the words as horribly as he could. He might be a little on the annoying side but he sure could make you laugh. At some point you chimed in. You both sang the songs together laughing at each other back and forth. Stu wasn't so bad.

"Put the tape back where you got it." He said "yes ma'am" as he slid it back into the glove compartment. You clicked the garage door open and slowly pulled your car in. The car became quiet once you pulled out the key. You closed the garage door, you and Stu hopping out at the same time. "Make sure to take your shoes off before you go in." You slipped off your boots carrying them inside. "Just bring your shoes up to my room." Stu didn't want to fuck this up but you made it too easy for him to make jokes. "You're taking me to your bedroom?" He said as cheesey as humanly possible. Before you could come up with a snarky response he pushed you out of the way.

"Holy shit this place is ugly!" Your face dropped as you closed the garage door. "I love it!" He exclaimed walking to the kitchen. "Is that a compliment?" You asked genuinely confused. Stu paused for a moment sniffing the air. "What is that smell?" You chuckled at his concern. "It's the pot roast." Confusion painted his face. "You started cooking this morning?" You smiled sheepishly. "Well yeah I knew you two were coming over." He might've just fell in love with you. "Come on let's put our shoes up and get dinner done before Billy gets here."

Stu looked all around not being able to look at one thing for too long. "Woah this is your room?" He admired the posters on your wall first. "The one and only." You grabbed his shoes sitting them up on the rack next to yours. "You like these movies?" He asked like you had them up there just to start conversations. "Of course I like them. That's kinda why I bought the posters."

Stu had to revaluate everything he thought about you. "You know your place reminds me of Dazed and Confused." You lit up at the name. "Oh my God I love that movie!" Stu took a second to really look at you. He thought you were hot from the second he saw you. That feeling hasn't changed any but there's definitely more to it. "I saw it in theaters like 4 times. You know you don't have such bad taste after all." You fake gasped. "I have amazing taste you just wait."

"Speaking of taste I've got to get started on dinner." He followed you to the kitchen with a question. "Isn't it already done?" He must not cook a lot. "The roast is yes but I've got to make mashed potatoes to go with it. Oh and do you want Macaroni and cheese or green beans?" He was definitely in love with you. "Why are you doing all this?" He asked his voice kind of sad. Stu really hadn't been a priority or even cared for, for a very long time. "Because you and Billy are my guests and I'll be damned if you leave here without having a good meal. Now Mac and cheese or green beans?"

Billy pulled into the driveway slowly as to not attract attention. It would be his ass if Sydney and Tatum saw his car over at your house. Before he could knock he stopped to listen to the sound of your laughter paired with Stu's. It was a pleasant sound but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous. His knuckles made contact with the wood alerting you and Stu both. "I'll get it. Keep stirring the mashed potatoes so they don't stick." Billy knocked once more. He wasn't very patient. "I'm coming!" You opened the door waving Billy inside. "Where's your coat it's freezing out there?" It was then he realized he left his jacket in the car. There was no way that unbuttoned flannel and white t-shirt was providing him any warmth.

"Hey buddy!" Stu waved from the kitchen. "I need you to open the garage so I can pull my car in." You made a stirring motion to Stu noticing he stopped. "Yeah give me one sec." You said to Billy as you opened the door to the garage. Clicking the button on the wall the door slowly lifted up. "Thanks babe." He said as he walked to his car. "Babe?" You whispered as your chest grew tight. "Betty help it's bubbling!" Stu shouted your nickname. You shook your head walking back into the house. "The heats too high." Slowly you turned the knob and the bubbling stopped. "Have you tried some yet?"

"No." He said but the small dot of mashed potatoes on his nose said other wise. Your thumb swiped off the food from his face and he knew he'd been caught. You wiped your hands on your apron. "Was it good?" He dipped his finger in the pot pointing it towards you. "Try it." He tried to smear it on your face but you wouldn't let him. "No!" You shouted with a laugh running around the kitchen. Stu chased you around the table laughing as much as you were. "What is going on? I can hear you all outside." Billy asked as he shut the door to the garage. "You really wanna know?" Stu asked.

It was too late. Now Stu chased Billy leaving you to laugh at both of them. "Get near me and I'll bite your fucking finger off Macher I mean it." You were belly laughing at this point. "Okay guys calm down the foods done. Billy, the plates are up there can you set the table?" Without a response he grabbed the plates. "Stu can you get the silverware? It's in that drawer." You pointed to the wood cabinet. "On it." Stu grabbed one of everything sitting them on the placemats next to the plates Billy sat down. You were busy moving the mac and cheese into a pyrex dish. "Someone sit this on the table." Billy and Stu both jumped to help nearly knocking the hot food out of your hands.

You awkwardly laughed at the silence. "Don't worry I've got another one." You handed Billy the glassware, quickly filling another one up with mashed potatoes to give to Stu. "I've got iced tea, lemonade, soda and water." You opened the fridge showing them what you had. "I'll have Dr. Pepper." Stu said and you handed him the glass bottle. "Billy for you?" Both the boys looked flushed. "What's that at the bottom shelf?" Stu pointed. You bent down seeing a bottle of Coke.

Unbeknownst to you every time you bent over the tops of your thigh high stockings were on display. Billy's eyes followed the black line from your ankles all the way to the little black bow at the top. Stu looked over at Billy trying to read his mind. "It's Coke. Did you want this instead?" You asked. "I'll take that." Billy grabbed it from your hand. "Let me get you two the bottle opener." You pulled out the drawer grabbing the opener and tossing it to Billy. "Where's your bathroom?" Stu asked politely. "Down the hall and to the left." With speed he left the Dr. Pepper on the table and practically sprinted to the bathroom.

"What's his problem?" You asked Billy. He only shrugged. Although he knew exactly what his problem was. It was the same problem he was starting to have. Billy sat down at the dinner table popping the lid off of his bottle. "Thank you." His was quiet but not silent. "You're welcome. It's the best I can do. Do you want your roast on top of your mashed potatoes or separate?" He thought about it for a second. "Separate is fine." You nodded grabbing his plate from the table. You put a good amount of roast and vegetables on his plate before sitting it back down in front of him. "Smells good."

"Let's just hope it tastes good." You laughed. "But thank you. Stu helped quite a lot actually." That was surprising. Living with Stu, he got take out 5 days a week and the other days they barley ate at all. Neither Billy or Stu cooked. Not for lack of trying on Billy's end. You placed a spoon in the mashed potatoes and in the Mac and cheese before fixing you a glass of water. You sat it down on the table picking up Stu's plate. Once he had a good amount you put his plate back where you got it.

"Is he coming?" The question almost made Billy laugh. With the Coke bottle up to his lips he said "Probably." The joke went clear over your head. In the meantime you hung your apron up and sat the salt and pepper down on the table. "There you are. I thought you fell in." You smiled and he returned it. Billy's eyes found Stu's having a silent shameful conversation. The last thing you did before sitting down was fix your own plate. While you put food on your plate Stu went ahead and grabbed his fork. Before he could eat Billy kicked him under the table. "Ow!"

"The bowl's hot." Billy made an excuse for his friends outburst. You went back to what you were doing as the two had a conversation. "Wait for her." Billy mouthed. Stu's lips formed an 'o' as he understood what he meant. You finally sat down with them finishing putting food on your plate. They both waited patiently for you to take the first bite. "Do you think I poisoned it?" You asked wondering about their odd behavior. "No but you cooked it so you should get to eat first." There it was again that giddy feeling. "Oh..." You said with a smile.

You had never seen two people eat so much. It made you think they'd never had food in their lives. Both bowls were completely empty and the poor crockpot looked like it'd seen hell before. "That was the best damn food I've ever had." Stu exclaimed. "Thank you, Y/n." He said grabbing your hand on the table. "You're welcome. If there's one thing I can do it's cook." Billy's head laid on his crossed arms on top of the table. "Is he dead?" You whispered to Stu. Your hand rubbed Billy's back slowly hoping he wasn't sick. "You alright?"

"I can't move." He mumbled against the table cloth. You bit your lip trying not to laugh. Billy sat up his head falling back over the kitchen chair. A moan left his lips from how much he ate. Stu saw the way you straightened up in your chair. Your eyes raked over Billy's exposed neck. His adams apple on prominent display. "Damn." Billy sat up looking at you. "What's wrong?

"Huh?" You asked furrowing your brows. "You said 'Damn' like something was wrong." Stu really couldn't help but laugh. "What's funny shit face?" He asked his giggly friend. "Oh nothing. Leave the dishes I'll clean them up." Billy rolled his eyes. In all his years being friends with him he had never once seen Stu clean a dish. "You don't have to do that I'll do them later after you guys go home."

Home? That thought never crossed either of their minds. They didn't want to go "home." "Listen I love hanging out with you both but I seriously can't have two grown men in my house staying the night that I barley know. What if you robbed the place?" That was your concern. Billy smiled at the innocent worry. "Then you'd get what we stole back monday at school. Don't you have a guest room we could stay in?" You did but it was used as a junk room now. There's no way you could clean it out tonight. They could stay in your dad's room but considering that's were the guns are you'd rather not. "Do you even have something to change into if you were to spend the night?"

Stu jumped from the table going to grab his bag. "I brought mine and Billy's clothes." You put your head in your hands as you groaned. "Fine but you're both sleeping on my bedroom floor." If that's what the rules were then so be it but they knew how easily they could bend them.

Taglist: @katie-tibo @danodoll21 @agustdeeyaa @bowlofceral @gonnapermashift @tati-the-fangirl @kozumewhore @tatijoestar @illyanam1011 @c4rved-pumpk1n

Part 5

A/N: I haven't proofread this yet so I apologize from any misspellings. I'll be going through it again tonight. Hope everyone's enjoying it so far!

[bellswlw]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ all the lights (in new york city aren’t as bright as her) pt 1 ⇨ e. williams au

ellie williams x fem!love interest

wc: 9.2k

playlist | masterlist

summary: ellie is known for being non-committed, having a scruffy laugh, her favorite coffee shop, and a reputation when it came to her tattooing abilities and her passion for it. she wasn’t known for love. and she certainly wasn’t the first person you’d think of when it came to finding someone that put all of those things above all else. even herself. but… she was just that.

cw: these are overall themes for the series as a whole. grief, depression, angst, alcoholism, small age gap, -underage- drinking (wine) and drug use (weed), neighbor!ellie, complicated family dynamics, tattoo artist!ellie, written in third POV and love interest is given a name.

a/n: this is for all the hopeless romantics and loser lesbians. the big city lovers and small town fanatics, the ones who look at the midnight sky, the ones who can’t sleep, and the ones who don’t talk about the things that hurt. i see you, and the moon and the butterflies love you.<3

Ellie had never been big on romance; movies, TV shows, and especially dating. She never saw the need for it, and she never really saw the appeal.

She could never picture herself meeting someone just by chance, or some unconventional and hyper-specific reason just for them to end up being the love of her life for a few months and end with an inevitable heartbreak… yeah, no. That wasn’t worth it to her.

Although her friends seemed to have found people in the big apple, Ellie was still the same as she was. Herself.

And that meant being by herself. If not working or hooking up in someone’s apartment or loft or even up in the bathroom of some party, she’s preferably at home lounging about or drawing up sketches on her iPad.

She got around, yes, but she wasn’t a dick about it. She didn’t count on her fingers or keep a list of names somewhere. She just grew an understanding for when someone was giving her flirty eyes from across the room… and had looked up into the same ones that were rolling back while her tongue was grazing that sweet spot of a girl she didn’t even know the same of.

Or in an empty apartment with a roommate ‘out of town’, holding onto the hips of another girl, grinding her against Ellie’s jean-covered thigh.

These encounters were simple. Do-able. Relaxed. Ellie liked that, she’d admit it. Shit, she has.

“So… when can I meet her?” Dina beams from across the table, leaning forward to grab her glass and hold it in her hand, waiting to take a sip until she replies.

Ellie took a swig of her coffee and glared at Dina. “No— Dina, no. You do this every time. You get more attached than I do, and then you bitch at me when I tell you… you can’t meet her. ‘Cuz I’m not seeing her anymore… by the way.”

Her glass meets the table with a low thud, turning the heads of a few other people who were sitting in the outside section of the coffee shop along side the two of them. “What? Why.” the way she said it had an insult attached. Almost to say, are you fucking nuts?

“B’cus. She’s… because I said so. And she wants more than I can give her anyway so…” and she leans forward to lift her cup off the table again just as she feels Dina’s glare marinate in the corner of her eyes, making her flare up with a silent embarrassment.

“I’m not doing this with you. Stop asking to meet my one night stands. ‘Kay?” and Ellie takes a sip of her coffee, the dark rich flavor burning into her tongue like a hot knife.

Dina leans back in her chair, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. “I just think it’s weird. They all like you. Why can’t you just try?” and she sounded a little more genuine this time, her brows knitted together as she tried to find the soft spot in Ellie’s eyes.

But of course it wasn’t there. Of course it wasn’t. They’d been hard for years, a rock coating over the emerald green like there had never been an ounce of fondness at all.

“Why try ‘n fix somethin’ if it’s not broken?” And she let the smirk find its way into the divots of her face and soon started relaxing in her chair, fanning her legs like Dina’s words hadn’t nipped a part of her that she wish they didn’t.

“Whatever.” Dina sighed as she rolled her eyes before her phone lit up with a notification, from Alex.

You guys still out?

“It’s Alex.” she says, lifting her phone from its place on the metal table top.

“Figures. Can’t go two seconds without him on your ass.”

That deserved the scoff she gave you. Ellie was being a dick. Her feelings were hurt. But of course, she’d never admit that.

“He wants to know if we’re still out.” she says into her phone, her fingers flying across the keyboard in response.

Yeah, what’s up? We’re at 787.

“Tell him we’re shopping or… I dunno, fucking.” and she laughed, amused with herself of course. She took another sip of her coffee before saying, “Bet he’d get a kick outta that.”

“Dick.” she murmured, and didn’t even look up from her phone.

Ellie just chuckled to herself. She knew it embarrassed Dina, becoming friends with the girl she had a crush on for months and after hooking up at a party… decided she liked her better as a friend. And Ellie liked Dina, and the mouth she had on her.

Muttering under her breath a thousand little “fuck”s while she helped Ellie move her couch up four flights of stairs… or after the job interview she had been stressing over for weeks and had cussed herself home six long blocks… or the time she had gotten so drunk that she accidentally slammed her hand in the door and was screaming strings of curse words while Ellie made her run it under cold water for what felt like 2 hours.

And the whole time… “Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck…”

Just wondering. You wanna come by later tho? Maybe we can talk??

“He said he wants to talk, again. Look.”

Dina is handing her phone over to Ellie as she reads the message, her face forming an unforgiving sneer.

“Tell him to fuck off.” Ellie glances up at her before her brows fly upward with inspiration. “No, actually— I’ll do it.” and her fingers begin to type the message out moments before Dina stands from the her chair to snatch her phone back from her.

“You’re pissing me off,” she admits, typing a reply while reading it back to Ellie.

Can’t. We’re shopping. Soon tho, promise;)

“Winky face?” she said, the look on her face a punch to the gut to Dina’s continuing embarrassment.

“Hey… don’t judge. You should be lucky we’re not actually going shopping.” Dina said with a finger pointing towards Ellie’s chest.

“Awe, we’re not? I thought you were gonna buy me that pink little thong? With the lace?”

“You’re delusional.”

“I’m funny.”

“How about… crazy.”

“Witty?”

“Try on my last fucking nerve.”

Dina pushed herself up off the chair across from her, grabbing her things and expecting Ellie to follow suit… but she stayed put.

“C’mon.” she said and jerked her head back just enough to motion for Ellie to stand up along side her.

“I’m good here.” she said casually, resting her arms on the chair, even leaning on the back two legs with a smirk plastered on her face.

God, did she love to fuck with her. It was so easy.

“You’re infuriating, y’know that?” Dina stood there for a moment longer, betting how long she was willing to keep this up before she scoffed and threw up a hand. “Motherfuckin’ asshole,” and walked off with the sound of Ellie lowly snickering to herself ringing in her ears.

She texted her a few hours later, and for a second time that day, Ellie’s face had immediately scrunched at the sight of her and Alex’s messages.

Why can’t you just come over for like a few, just to talk

I’m really busy rn, we can soon tho

When is soon???

Hello?

Dina??

Yeah, I’m here. Idk. My schedule is a lot rn with work. we’ll talk. I’ll text you, okay?

Ellie read the message that Dina sent after the screenshot, firing back instantly.

Idk what to do

Tell him to FUCK. OFF.

But he’s really nice

bro

You literally went on like one date w him and he called you his girlfriend… and made you meet his parents at 7am on a Friday.. HE IS WEIRDDD

Idk

I should talk to him

Dina. U know he doesn’t just wanna talk. c’mon

Ellie’s phone goes stagnant for a new minutes, and she continues scrolling on her phone from the privacy of her apartment and the busted up couch she fell asleep on far too often.

Then another string of messages came in.

Seriously

Help

He’s coming ovsr

Over*

ELLIE

FUCK

Dude I can’t help you

You’re a lost cause

Wear protection or something Lol

Fuck u

Yeah I’d want to if he was the other option too

Sick burn

Yeah yeah I’m sure u will, don’t forget to pick up some Monistat LMAO

She chuckles to herself before there’s a slice of complete silence inside the walls of Ellie’s apartment, bring her back to reality when she finally tosses her phone aside next to her on the couch and slugging herself up and toward the kitchen.

Ellie had never been much of a cook. But then again, she’d never been much of anything, other than an artist. She didn’t like calling herself that though. She thought it was a little tacky and cliché. Artíst. Such bullshit.

But it was who she was. And artist, drawer, sketcher, painter… whatever, it’s all the same. Anyone who can see an idea in their mind and let it leave through the work of their hands is an artist by default.

That’s what landed her the job she has now, tattooing at a shop a few blocks over called InK & Sink.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. Kind of. It’s a place where a group of really high tattoo artists decided to open up a place that was the first tattoo and edible shop all in one place.

The edible shop is on the ground floor, mostly covered in neon signs and a cheesy bakery case near the front with a cash register. Tattooing was down a flight of stairs toward the back, in a renovated basement with the main wall painted a burnt-orange and full of a majority of previous tattoo stencils. And it was all run by a man called Drot. He has what’s left of a Romanian accent, ink covering his head to toe and a love for baking. (And a borderline criminal amount of stand mixers.)

Ellie absolutely loved her job. She loved everything about it. And she meant everything. It made her chest puff up with pride anytime someone came in specifically to get tattoo’d by her. Her work. They loved her work. They saw it online and needed to have it.

She loved talking to customers, and seeing the first timers (regardless of age) relax into her chair for sometimes hours at a time while she listened to their life stories. Knowing people. Learning about so many people. It fascinated her. It made her feel less alone, which she hated to think about, but loved to pretend it was normal to feel the way she did.

She sometimes wished she could record their conversations so she could one day playback all of them and keep them all for herself. The small group of people that she had this connection with, forever. But she obviously knew that was creepy. And weird… and a little stalkerish. But the sentiment was nice.

The pay was good too. She also loved that. And the fact that she had most holidays off. Drot didn’t like being open when it was any time the snow was past the welcome mat either, and he certainly didn’t enjoy the 45 minute drive every morning —especially if there was rain— from the shop to his house.

He was protective of his building, and his customers, and his staff. He loved them like his goddamn family. And as far as he was concerned, they were. His accent wasn’t only, but it was his past too. It was something that he didn’t talk about much, but the ink on his arms told that story well enough.

His parents came to the US from Romania, he was six. And he lived in Utah most of his life, up until high school when he went to Texas for college and stayed until his mid twenties. He met Mia here in New York within the first week… and now they have two kids, close to Ellie’s age.

Or so she guesses, he has their names on the back of his ankles with what Ellie can only assume is their birthdays just below them. She’s only ever seen it once, and has never met either of them. They don’t come around much.

She’s brought back into her kitchen now, the cold buzzing of her fridge sending a chill through her fingers as she pursed her lips together and slowly tapped lazily on the door, trying to decide what to eat.

She needed to go grocery shopping, badly. Her fridge was bare excluding some blueberries that rotted away in the corner, a tower full of sauces, old take out, and a pack of pudding she hadn’t opened yet.

She decided this was her dinner. Four chocolate pudding cups.

Ellie sighed, reaching forward into the cold box and pulling them back with an even heavier sigh. They’d expired. How that is? She had no idea. Seeing as they typically lasted over a year without going bad.

“Shit.” she said to herself, for some reason started looking around the room for something to eat… as if there would be a fully prepared dish hiding itself under all of her unopened mail.

Fuck, she did not want to leave right now. She wanted to stay in, to people watch from her window and then shower and go to bed. She did not want to go ou—

She went out. And she hated every minute of it. From her favorite corner store being closed, to some asshole not knowing how to drive and almost reversed into her… she hated all of it.

But it didn’t stop her from popping into the liquor store on the way back for some beer.

The bell rang above her head, the familiar ring to her reddened ears making her sigh. She didn’t want to let something so small bug her, but her patience was limited on an empty stomach. Probably why she was always fighting to urge to put someone in their place at any given time. Nerves running on nerves. Bone on bone.

“Welcome in,” the cashier said from behind the counter, finishing up checking out a group of kids half her age. Candy and soda and a bunch of other things trickled down into five different transactions. Counting pennie’s and dimes until they could cover it all.

Ellie took a breath in before making her way towards the back of the store, pulling the door open with a shaking hungry hand and grabbing the first 6-pack she saw. Her greedy fingers were wrapped around the cardboard carrier, and soon she was scanning the aisles for something to line her stomach for the night.

She landed on a Heath bar, some Pringles and a Cup-O-noodle. She also grabbed a bag of Skittles at checkout.

“You wanna bag?”

Ellie pulled her wallet from her back pocket and nodded, fishing out a twenty dollar bill as the cashier put her snacks and her form of a sleeping aid in the plastic bag.

She was soon rattling off a “Thank you.” as she stuffed her change into her front pocket and grabbed her things before nudging the door open with her elbow.

It didn’t take her long to crack open the shiny new 6-pack. At the next busied corner, she unclipped her carabiner from her belt loop and took her guitar shaped bottle opener and rather forcefully opened up her drink with a familiar and comforting hiss.

Pulling the glass bottle from its home, she put it to her lips and let it simmer down her throat.

Ellie drank beer, yes. She liked what she liked. She liked not only how it made her feel, but look. She thought it made her seem like the coolest person in the room sometimes. (she’d never admit that of course—although the smirk on her face nearly gave her away every time—) Plus, she wouldn’t be caught dead with a glass of wine in her hand if she could help it.

She hasn’t been drinking for very long (legally that is) and even before then, beer was always her go-to. And most available. It was light enough to make her feel buzzed and a little horny, but if she had a few more after that buzz… she nearly became unbearable.

She could still remember the good parts of the night, and block out the parts where she collapses to the ground with tears pooling in her eyes and curses under her breath until she’s crying so hard that the bottle in her hand fuzzes itself out of her grip with a loud, rippling crash as it hits the ground.

Ellie.

Beer.

They mixed; sometimes.

Tonight, it was the buzz of two to three beers. Her mouth was on the bottle until she stopped dead in her tracks to see a giant ass bed frame tilted halfway into the open door of the apartment diagonal from Ellie’s.

She scoffed under her breath, a low “Fuck,” falling from her lips as she stashed her drink in her bag and dragged her feet down the hall.

Who the fuck was moving in at… Jesus, it was only 7. She was a third of the way to a black out at 7pm on a Thursday, great.

“You have to move it, no— fuck! Seriously?” and that’s when Ellie had actually noticed him, coming out from behind the other side of the frame, throwing his arms up and yelling into the door.

“You have to move it! Don’t just stand there… Jesus Christ,” and Ellie pulls her brows together at the sound of his voice, all the alcohol pouring out of her and into the palms of her hands that had suddenly gone clammy.

She hears someone else, a softer voice compared to the scruffy shouts she had to ring out from her head. She seems upset. And rightfully so. This guy was being a dick.

“Can you just— for fucks sake, I’m trying!” and Ellie then see’s the bed frame shake back and forth with the emphasis of her words. It sent a shock of adrenaline through Ellie for some reason, and it made her spiral with a multitude of thoughts.

This must be her boyfriend, asshole. She should break up with him. Wonder if she likes girls. Wonder if she like’s mascs. Is she even gay? Bet she’s hot, her voice sounds kind of familiar, shit hopefully not… that’d be so awkward. What if it’s not? What if she—

“Dorin, can you fucking stop?! You’re gonna break it!” and she hears that same voice, and for some reason she tries to place it, slipping into the frames of faces she knows. She fails, but god, it was so distinct. So… familiar. She could’ve sworn she’d heard it before.

She was soon drawn from her endless daydream when he—Dorin, she could only guess— looked up at her, finally ceasing to take his hands from the metal and notice her standing there.

Ellie stood frozen in the hall, her eyes slightly widening when she realizes that he can see her, too.

“Sorry,” she spurts, remembering that her legs actually worked and used them to take a tentative step forward.

“‘t’s fine.” and he looks back into the door before taking a step back. He’s glaring inside the apartment, almost as if to say that it wasn’t actually fine at all.

But Ellie couldn’t move. She was afraid to take another step. She didn’t want to have to potentially face one of her hook ups… not if she could help it.

She couldn’t really walk anyways, because the frame was jutting out so far that it had blocked her path just enough to cut off access to her door. “Um, my door… it’s ah, the…” and she motioned her hand forward, god she was so fucking flustered.

He sighed, not even trying to hide his ire from her. “She can’t get by. We’re gonna have to fucking take it apart or something.” and he was leaning against it now.

The sight was an odd one, Ellie watching her new neighbor at a stand still with a gray metal bed frame and talk into his apartment. Even if she weren’t a little drunk, she’d be just as confused.

“I don’t have the directions! I thought you said it’d fit!” and Ellie could see the hazy vision of her set up, just getting ready for a tattoo. She remembered pulling apart paper towels, setting them down with the black haze of her gloves…

And she heard the murmur of her voice —or, someone’s— from what felt like a million miles away. She couldn’t fucking zero in on it. She needed to. She needed to know.

Without thinking, Ellie chirped up, walking a few more steps to see into the living room with boxes hoarding its corners. She couldn’t see her. “Might need to ditch it. These doors suck. ‘t’s gonna shred it.” and she looked to Dorin, trying to gage if he believed her.

She didn’t care honestly, she was fucking starving and needed to get inside her apartment and piece together this nightmare of a voice.

He pauses, looks back through the door and then back to Ellie. “…She’s right. Let’s just toss it. I’m too fucking tired for this right now.” and she can tell when he says it that she’s upset, but eventually she agrees.

And that’s how Ellie ended up tossing that stupid fucking bed frame down those same four flights of stairs until it was a sad pile of metal sitting on the curb.

Dorin had nearly demanded she stay upstairs, saying he didn’t need help, but Ellie wasn’t an asshole. He clearly needed help. In all honestly, she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t know his left from right.

Okay, maybe she was kind of as asshole. Regardless, she wasn’t the type who just stood by and watched someone struggle to get their footing right when trying to throw a bed frame over the banister of the fourth floor.

Ellie had set down her bag by now, and stepped up to give him a hand. Which ultimately resulted in helping him carry it all the way back down and place what was left of it on the curb for someone to take.

“Thanks,” he said, wiping the palms of his hands on his jeans before reaching out to greet Ellie. “I’m Dorin.”

She glanced down at it before shaking it firmly. He wasn’t expecting, obviously. They never do. “Ellie.” was all she said.

When she climbed the stairs for a third time that day, Ellie had hoped she was standing outside the door or at the least, leaning against it frame before ducking behind a corner like a timid cat.

She wasn’t, of course. The door was closed shut for the night.

Probably for the best. Ellie didn’t want to be up late drawing sketches of her all night, she had work tomorrow. She was opening.

She had actually enjoyed the earlier shifts. Her body was still waking her as soon as the sun had risen, and not to mention… it had helped keep her schedule clear for the afternoons and evenings.

Although, it had been about a week or two since her last… escapade. She hadn’t really known why, but there was a flicker in her sex life that she had a hard time ignoring. Something had threatened to put it out.

She didn’t want to think about that right now. She just wanted to get inside her apartment and let what just happened roll of her shoulders with the help of what was inside her bag.

Ellie eventually trudged down the hall toward her door, unlocking it with a heavy sigh after failing the first two times. “God, dammit.” she swore under her breath before Dorin had come up after her and disappear behind his own door.

She pushed the door open, finally slipping inside. She was so tired all of this sudden. And her body had ached with something so deep that she actually lifted her shirt to feel around her ribs for a mark. There wasn’t one, but she felt it so much that she winced inside every time she took a step around her tiny kitchen.

In the matter of about ten minutes, Ellie was sitting in front of her TV with a styrofoam cup of ramen that had been devoured almost instantly along with an empty candy bar wrapper and an open can of Pringles, leaving her to lay down on her couch with an arm hanging off as she felt herself falling into a light sleep.

A few hours later, after her body had decided to fall deeper into the couch, she jerked herself awake with the sound of her phone pinging her back to the shrilling silence of her apartment. Followed by a starch in the air that was so thick, it had expressed a single dry cough from her.

“Shit,” she murmured, rubbing a hand over the side of her face and the deep marks that had left their presence with a red hue.

She looked down at the screen, reading the time. It was past nine.

I think I just met the love of my life.

He fucking held the door out for me when I was leaving Alex’s building and did that thing you know where they look u up and down

Holy shit fuck oh my god

Ellie blinked before replying, squinting when her fingers flew across the screen to message back.

Oh yeah? Should I order my tux? Do you need a flower girl???

No bc maybe

He didn’t even say anything to me but like in a hot way

Right…

Fuck off

He was hot

I hope he lives in the building maybe i’ll have to see Alex more til i figure out where he lives

Dina that’s fucking insane. How’d that go btw?

I assume he isn’t invited to the wedding??

Jesus, no

I’ll tell u tmrw, what time do you work?

Ellie rattles off her schedule to Dina for rest of the week and the following: four morning shifts and a closing.

She enjoyed working. Probably a little bit too much. But it was a good, stable job for her after all. And plus, it kept her mind busy; which was most important.

Dina replied a minute later with K sounds good before turning her phone on Do not Disturb, the notification popping up at the bottom of Ellie’s screen.

She eventually stands, her jeans suddenly feeling too tight on her legs as she made her way toward the bathroom to lazily peel them from her just before turning the shower on.

Ellie had hated nights like this. The ones that never seemed to end… no matter how hard she tried. Especially when she was fighting remembering. She wanted to forget. She so desperately wanted to forget and let it slip through the cracks of her brain down the shower drain.

But it wouldn’t, of course it wouldn’t. It was far too thick. Like a sludge that has coated the entirety of her before hardening around the biggest parts, cracking and blistering her skin like porcelain.

That’s what she was after all, something so fragile on the inside with a hard shell. And all it would take was some rain to wash it all away, leaving her exposed.

She rattled inside with every step she took, fear seeping through the bottoms of her shoes as if she were walking on eggshells. But can two of the same thing really break each other?

|

In the dead of night, after her hair had partially dried—or begin to sweat— she was gasping against the still air of her bedroom, shooting up from her position to let in small hiccups that somewhat resembled a single breath. Inout inout inout.

Her eyes were wide open, scanning for her darkened surroundings. Feeling around her bed for the blanket that had once covered her, her books on her nightstand, the sleeping pills she never took. And her journal. She felt for her journal and the old cover that was familiar enough to make her feel as though she was thumbing a baby blanket.

You’re home. You’re safe. You’re safe. 1, 2, 3, 4. 1234. 1234. 1. 2. 3. 4.

Her dreams had begun eating her in her sleep again. Always the same one. And always so fucking real.

The next breathe she takes is deeper. Shaky, but long enough to make her rest her elbows on her spread out thighs and pinch the bridge of her nose with one hand. She lets it out, the shaky rattle nearly making her whistle.

She tries to forget. She wants to forget. To um-burn this memory from her brain and fill it with the memories that she is trying so hard to hold onto. The ones she keeps between the pages of her journal, the ones that are marked in ink as to never be erased or wiped clean.

She wants these memories inside her head. To jam pack with good and rid of the bad. Get rid of this stupid fucking nightmare that makes her cry before she even realizes she’s awake.

Ellie tells herself it’s only that. “It’s only a nightmare.” But it wasn’t. Before, it was a memory. Something that has stamped her red anger and blue with sadness to mend a broken purple that no one ever sees.

Her breathing begins to slow, and the loud drum of her heartbeat floods out when she looks out her window to catch a glimpse of the sky.

It always felt so big— so… targeted. But yet she always found herself in this moment with the moon. Watching over her as she tried to sooth herself back to sleep.

She does, (eventually) and soon enough the ringing in her ears fades, leaving her to only hear the sound her shaky ribs are making, listening just close enough to hear them rattle from deep within her chest.

Ellie’s hand reaches out from underneath her covers one last time, making sure she could feel the familiar cracked up material of her book. She fell back asleep just a few moments later.

|

As soon as the moon says goodnight and the Sun begins to wake, as does Ellie. The blinding curl of its brightness makes her squint and throw a hang over her face, smudging her hair to cover her eyes too.

Ellie sighs, letting the sound relish for a minute before throwing her legs over the side of her unmade bed and look for some clean clothes. God, did she seriously need to get her shit together.

She should be more prepared honestly. Having the seasons changed had usually helped, but now it… it had felt different.

Like the sludge wasn’t just just coating over her, but eating her. Letting itself inside to soak through the cracks of her skin as if she was already dead, forming roots from her brittle bones as the earth enveloped her in and drained every last ounce of herself that was left to her name.

Soon enough she finds some pants to wear, a ripped pair of black jeans, torn at the knee. Ellie wasn’t much of a shopper, she rarely bought clothes until they shredded themselves from her body. And because she knew that, she kept her closet filled with identical replicas. Mostly black, but there were a few nice shirts she wore and even a pair of dress shoes.

She never wore those though. She never had anywhere nice to go… still, she had them; just in case.

And as she pulled the jeans over her lose boxers, Ellie had heard the low murmurs of that same voice, and she thought maybe she was dreaming.

But no. She had heard it right. The muffled sound becoming less as she opened her bedroom door to hear her through the thin material of her apartment wall, followed by the striking sound of what Ellie could only guess was her banging —or kicking?— at her own door.

“Motherfucker!” she heard her say, and the way it rang in her ears tunneled so deep she got stuck in her tracks.

It was so fucking familiar. Where has she heard it? This was going to drive her absolutely fucking insane. But she tried to ignore it anyway, finding herself actually shake her head out of the daze and squint when she peeped through the hole in her front door.

She could see her standing there with some of her things including a large cup with a handle and her bag. But… no shoes. Or keys, by the looks of it.

Shit, she thought. That must suck. But where was her boyfriend? Bet he’s passed out. Dick.

Ellie stood there for another moment before the growl of her stomach had peeled her away from the peephole. She made an empty promise to find something on the way to work, knowing she wasn’t going to stop. And that she’d eat on her lunch. Knowing she had over a 2 hour session at noon today.

But this is how it always was. This is what the sludge did. Take and take and take. Give, then take some more… and take a little extra. Just giving her enough to keep her alive.

Eventually though, she finished getting ready. And that meant combing through her hair just to pull it back and doing the same with a T-shirt that hung loose on her cracked ribs. She slid her converse on and grabbed her Ipad and the rest of her things before slipping them into her black messenger bag and out the door.

She tried not to notice how her eyes were glued onto her as soon as she finished locking her door and turned to see the backside of her, and how suddenly she had the urge to pretend she left something inside and climb out the fire escape. Or how fucking pretty she was. Her hair was done nicely— nicer than Ellie’s— and had pieces that framed her face.

Jesus she was getting dizzy. She looked away, hoping she hadn’t seen the utter shock on her face.

Holy shit. Oh my god oh my god ohmygodohmygod.

“Morning,” she said, and it was then that Ellie had to pretend she wasn’t shitting bricks while she stared hard enough trying to get the key out of her door that it might melt under her gaze.

She turned. Played it cool, because this was so cool. Totally nonchalant.

“Morning.” she replied, then, because she was totally chill, she tilted her head up toward her and spoke again. “Locked out?”

She looked down then, avoiding Ellie’s eyes before a dry chuckle left her lips. “Yeah, I uh.. guess you could say that. Think it’s jammed or s’mthing.” she looked embarrassed, crossing her feet that displayed her socks.

Ellie took a step toward her down the hall, trying to pluck her words to form a sentence over the raging sound of her heard pounding inside her chest, threatening to burst right then and there.

“Damn, that sucks. You tried uh…?” and Ellie fell short when she looked her in eye, suddenly losing all the air from her lungs and every ounce of blood from her veins.

Jesus, what the fuck.

“If you’re gonna say opening it, then yes. And I tried my key, it won’t work. I also don’t have my phone.” and it was then that somewhere Ellie knew she should offer to help.

There was a slice of herself that was open, ready to help and offer up her phone to call someone, but it shrunk before her voice had found it’s way up her throat to say it, sinking a thousand feet into the depths of her stomach with a gulp.

“Shit. Well I hope you figure it out.” and she didn’t say another word before making her way past her— ignoring the smell of her perfume radiating off of her and staining Ellie’s nostrils with the hint of honey— toward the stairs.

As soon as she was out of ear-shot, she swore under her breath. “Fuck!” leaving her lips as her feet had stomped down all three remaining floors and onto the street where she pulled a hand down her face with a low groan.

“What the fuck,” she said to herself. She had been a fucking asshole, for no reason. No reason at all. She could go back up there, offer up her phone, shit she’d even give her her own shoes. But she knew she wouldn’t. She knew that. Ellie would move out if it meant never having to go through that again.

And jesus, what had gotten into her? She felt… nervous. But not the same kind of nervous she felt before taking a girls shirt off… Something that felt unfamiliar and uncertain. Like she was about to jump off a cliff with nothing but a paper clip to help crash her fall.

As if she really were falling, and the pavement underneath her feet had shattered and begun giving out beneath her converse. But she wasn’t. She wasn’t.

Ellie snapped her eyes shut for a moment, breathing in the air that had already began warming with the rising sun.

You’re safe. You’re safe. You’re in control. 1234,1234.

She only let herself stand there for a moment longer before she curled her toes inside her shoes and managed to begin walking. Jesus, she was losing it.

|

Soon enough, Ellie makes it inside the door of InK & Sink with a few minutes to spare. She hated being late, but today by some miracle she had actually managed to make it in time. She had an early appointment —just after 9:30– so she had made her way downstairs after saying a quick “Morning.” to Drot in passing.

He waved her off a silent greeting, his phone pressed to his ear listening closely. “And you tried it again? Well… fuck, can’t you just… okay. No. It’s okay, it’s fine.” And he sighed, running a hand over his face just as Ellie had taken her first steps downstairs.

“Hold on a second, hold. Hey! Ellie? C’mere for a minute.” And her lips had tugged in a straight line, just before she wiped it off and let her brows turn ‘casually’ as she made her way back to him, leaning against the archway.

“Would you um, mind working the cash register for a bit? Just a bit… my um.. my daughter locked herself out, she uh… yes I gotta— No, I’m not going to break… yeah, yes, yes. Okay.” And it was then that he looked toward her, waiting for her response that she had failed to form inside her head.

She said something, not realizing until the words echoed through the thunder washing over her ears.

“Uh… I have uh… yeah. Yeah, sure.” and that’s all she said as she watched him say a few more words into his phone before swapping places with Ellie and making it out the door in the matter of about thirty seconds.

His Daughter. His. Daughter. She was his daughter. Oh god she was so screwed.

No. No. That could be anybody, a really weird coincidence. There’s a lot of people in New York, in her building. Not a chance it’s the same person.

But her voice. Her voice. She heard it through the phone. Somebody’s. Someone must’ve given her a phone to use. Fuck. That’d be a nightmare if she’d given her phone to use and her dad’s contact was already there. Jesus.

No, can’t be her. It’s not. Why is this such a big deal? Why can’t you just let it go, roll off your shoulders. C’mon. You’re not gonna get fired for being an asshole to his kid. No way.

This is what the inside of Ellie’s head was thinking the whole fifteen minutes she was working a cash register she had little to no experience working, all while greeting customers and playing Baker in her black head-to-toe outfit.

“$6.24 for ya’.” and she held the small parchment paper bag across the counter, swapping it for cash and pressing for the till drawer.

“Have a good one,” she echoed, just before the door had opened and the soft bell rang in her ears.

“Welc— oh, hey.”

“Hey.” Drot said, dropping his head between his shoulders and chuckling low.

Ellie could see the slow shake of his head with each quiet laugh, and with each second she grew more anxious.

“This mornings’ been interesting, no?” He looked up now, a grin planted on his lips as he patted her on the shoulder that would’ve been hard enough to shatter the bone there if she let it.

“Interesting? Uhh… guess so.”

He leans back against the opposing counter— a little to Ellie’s right, and nods her away from the cash register.

“My daughter. She just moved. Forgot her keys. inside and had no shoes on. No. She had her old keys.” he was smiling at her, inviting Ellie to do so along side him.

She offered up a small chuckle followed by a raise of her eyebrows and a single. “Ah.”

He sighs to himself before standing up straight and making Ellie’s eyes jump up to meet his gaze.

“She’s you’re age. A little younger. You should meet her. She’s… like you.”

“Like me?” and she says it before fully realizing, letting it slip right past her lips.

“Yeah… she uh.. well, you know. Eh, forget it. Go, go.” Drot is ushering her away from his register and toward the small swing king door near the end of the counter.

She grabbed ahold of her bag with a fist, turning to look back at him before she made her way down the stairs.

Like her? What did he mean like her? She couldn’t let herself think on it. She had a job to do. Work to do. She couldn’t let her mind fall out of her head on the clock.

Which is why when she met Dina for coffee after work, she was all Ellie kept thinking about.

“And then— while he was fucking on top of me he tells me he loves me?! Like are you kidding? So then after that I was li— Ellie, are you listening?”

She wasn’t. Her eyes were narrowed in on the small lights that were strung up above both of their heads, counting and watching the bulbs flicker until she was blinking back into reality when she heard her own name.

“Yeah, yeah. I am.” and she clears her throat and shakes the thought of her out of her head.

“What’d I say?”

“He said he loved you… like a fucking weirdo.” and that cracked Dina a little bit. Before she collected herself and took a sip of her drink.

“What? Like I’m wrong? Alex is weird; and I mean that in every extreme way possible. Yeah sure whatever he’s ‘nice’… but Dina. You can do better. You know you can.”

“I— I feel guilty okay?”

“Don’t! You shouldn’t. I’m serious.”

“Ellie…” she tilts her head with a stare.

Ellie does the same, mimicking her time when she says: “Dina. Really though. You know I’m right.”

“Yeah, but I’m not giving you that ego boost.” and she shakes her head as she leans back into her chair.

Ellie smirks. “You already did.”

|

They sit outside bickering back and forth like this for another hour, cracking jokes and mostly pissing Dina off while Ellie spreads her legs wider to try and fight the shake she feels inside them. She was running on this coffee alone, and it was starting to finally become noticeable.

“You cold or something? You’re shaky.” Dina has her forearms pressed against the table, leaving the pattern against her skin when she reaches across to try and feel for herself.

Ellie pulls back when they make contact, shrugging her off with denial. “No. I’m good.”

“You eat today?” and the pull in her brows is one that Ellie doesn’t like.

But she laughs it off, tries not to notice how shifty and full she’s filling with guilt alone. “Yes, mom. I stopped somewhere this morning.”

“Ellie… it’s after four.” and she looked away from her to reach inside her bag for something— her wallet. “Here, let me—”

“I have money. I’ll just go get something inside. That make you happy?” Ellie was already planting her feet on the ground before Dina could answer, and she was pushing back from her chair to make her way inside to order.

She was pissed at herself. Pissed that her hands we’re shaking so badly at only 4 o’clock, that Dina had noticed, that she hadn’t noticed and can’t make them stop.

She’s also pissed because she wasn’t watching where the fuck she was going, and she bumped right into someone hard enough to spill their coffee on the tile.

She’s reaching out to land a hand on their arm before drawing her feet back away from the forming puddle. “Fuck, I’m-”

Her. It was her. Ellie’s eyes are glued onto hers, noticing the deep hazel and the mascara on her lashes. And her wispied bangs that fell a little too perfect on her face. And her face; she noticed her face. The three freckles that connected around her right eye in a constellation of a tria—

“You’re good…” she said, dipping her eyebrow in recognition. “Oh, hey. It’s you.” and she goes to point a finger, but her arm is still in Ellie’s grasp.

Ellie let’s go when she realizes. She didn’t even notice it there at first, but now, the feeling is vast and leaves her bicep with a map of goosebumps. Almost like Ellie had taken the heat right from her and placed it into her cheeks that were the color of a ripening tomato.

When her hand falls, Ellie lets the scene before her unfold for a moment. Taking in the spilled drink on the floor— and noticing she finally a pair of on. Without thinking, she tells her that.

“Finally got shoes on huh?” and she looks down at her own feet, wearing a pair of black Dr Martens that had now made her an inch or two taller than Ellie.

A little confused, she agrees. “Yeah, I do.”

And for some reason —unknown to her— Ellie perks up to specify. “From this morning. No shoes… You were uh, locked out…”

Soon there’s recognition in her voice, making her eyebrows raise and a laugh to stumble from her lips as she speaks. “Oh! Yeah… yeah, I got in. Yeah. Surprised you remembered honestly. You seemed.. in a rush.”

There’s a beat. One serged with electricity that would shock the two of them if they touched.

“Sorry.” Ellie says. She can’t help but wince when she says it.

She looks at her, still lost in the conversation. Ellie doesn’t know why she keeps fucking this up. Even when she’s apologizing.

“About your coffee. And this morning… and last night. I was an asshole. I— I don’t know why I did that. I don’t- I’m not usually… like that.” Liar.

She waves Ellie off. The ring on her middle finger glistens against her hand when she moves into a sunspot. “No worries. Shit happens.”

Shit happens? She thought about it for a second. Yeah. Shit does happen. No worries.

“Still. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. I swear I’m not always that… much of an asshole.”

She laughs a little. “Sounds like something an asshole would say.”

Ellie pauses when she says this, a little struck by her words; a little guilty. It doesn’t last long when she breaks and says: “I’m fucking with you. Everyone’s a little bit of an asshole sometimes.”

To this, Ellie actually sighs in relief. She fucking sighs. Just fucking with you.

“Right. Well.. I feel like one. Do you want another drink? On me.” she’s pulling out her wallet from her back pocket before she can even object.

She takes a moment to consider it; furrowing her brows in thought before she begins to actually… grin. “You always buy your neighbors coffee?”

Ellie’s cheek swell with a red hue she is hoping to hide with a snarky remark. “Only the cute ones.” she shoves one of her shaky hands in her back pocket.

She blows a breath from her nose, a half-laugh. “So you do this pretty often then huh?”

“Nah… you’re the first.” and that’s true. She’s never done this before.

Of course she hasn’t. Because if she had— she wouldn’t be so fucking nervous.

“Lucky me then.” and she pauses, looking at Ellie for a beat… almost like she’s hesitating. Almost like she’s waiting for Ellie to make a move.

The moment passes, and she pipes up again.

“Well, what if I wanted to buy you coffee?”

Ellie shifts in her stance. She was getting lightheaded, and she wasn’t sure if it was because she was starving… or flirting in the middle of a coffee shop with her brand new neighbor. Who was also her employer daughter. (Possibly.) [Definitely, without a doubt.]

“Why would you wanna buy me coffee?”

“Do I need a reason?”

She’s faultering, cracking and smudging, about to melt into a puddle next to this spilled coffee that was soaking into the grey tile. “…No. Guess not.”

She smiles. And of course it’s incredible. “Alright. Good. So, what do you want?”

“Well what do you want? You gonna let me buy you something?”

By now, she is reaching over to grab a handful of napkins, crouching down to begin wiping away the mess.

“Eh. I’ll think about it.”

Ellie scoffs. She shakes her head. And she can’t fucking believe she’s doing this in broad daylight.

But… what was she doing? She’d flirted in public before, and she’d done even more than that.. so why was she getting so shy? Why was the sludge melting away with the heat of her cheeks and the sweat of her palms when she reaches to grab some tissues and begins to help clean up.

And because Ellie is secretly terrified this feeling will go away.. she fights to make more conversation. “Sorry about your bed. The doors are pretty shit.”

She mops up her drink, wadding up the napkins and tosses them without standing. “It’s alright. I kinda fuckin’ hated that thing to be honest. It was a bitch to put together.”

She’s watching Ellie, her slender fingers and shortened nails were a sight. And this Ellie could pick up on. The sudden feeling of her eyes darting down to watch this very mundane but intimate moment.

Jesus, it just felt like the two of them.

Like the world had fallen away, the music muffled out, chatter quieting to a white noise. The only thing Ellie saw was her. She could feel the scratchy material of the brown napkin and the weight of her hazel eyes on her movements.

It was so… bold. So full and alive. Light. Simple. Delicate.

Ellie had to say something. Shit. Her brain was scattering with her eyes on her. Her neighbors eyes on her. Her neighbor who had a boyfriend. Maybe.

Fuck, it didn’t matter… she had to stand back up and make sure she didn’t pass out from whatever was going on.

Eventually she does, straightening her knee’s from her squat and adjusting her jeans that had rode down to reveal her boxers underneath.

Ellie is standing and looking down her feet when she notices the coffee has stained the laces of her shoes.

Not that she minds, they were already dirtied from wearing them everyday; that was a given. And even if she did mind: Shit happens. No worries.

From the corner of her eye she see’s her stand back up too… and it’s then that she realizes she never asked her name.

So she does.

Her head is shooting up with the thought, rushing to find her eyes that were already looking at Ellie. Her hands go clammy again. God.

“I uh, I never.. Oh my god I can’t even talk. What’s your name?” and Ellie shakes her head with disbelief. Her game is way off.

She laughs. Not mean, Ellie can tell. She cracks a smile when her eyes line with a shine from the sun.

“Poe.”

Poe. Poe. Poe.

It had suited her better than she had even begin to think, slotting it into place and sighing when it clicked there.

“Cool, cool. I’m Ellie, by the way.” she breathed out something pathetic, a sliced up nervous laugh.

But Poe was smiling at her, Poe.

Poe… was smiling at her.

“Nice to meet you, officially.”

“Yeah, you too.”

The thick hum in the air felt like a barbed wire, zapping Ellie’s skin when Poe spoke up again.

“So, Ellie, you gonna buy me some coffee or what?” and the grin on her lips was wide enough to make Ellie slip from the reality back into their banter.

So much so that she’d completely forgotten about Dina, leaving her to text Ellie a string of messages and a pissed tone scorching through the screen.

But Ellie couldn’t be worried. Because Poe was sitting in Dina’s freshly abandoned chair. Smiling.

At her.

She was so fucked.

|

Later that night— after Poe had made her order some gluten free lemon poppy bread (which Ellie said: “Shit tastes like dirt. Dirt if you pissed in it.”) and then laughed at her when she tried to wash it down with her coffee but ended up with a mouthful of what tasted like burnt shit.

Then offered up her own drink to be told it was “Milk and ice. A shittier version of vanilla ice cream.”— Ellie had made it home and was tucked into her bed with her journal and pen.

Her hand was scribbling across the page, racing her brain for the details before they slipped and tugged through the cracks after sleeping on it.

She fills up another page, talking about all the things that choke up her sobs… and finally sketches a dragon on the back, covering up the nightmare from last night— soaking it into the scales of the monster.. letting it’s fiery breath burn the memories that fuel the rot in her brain.

Ellie sighs before she wipes her face with the back of her hand, pulling the cuff of her sweatshirt over her palm and sniffling.

The routine is coming to a close when she sets her journal back on her nightstand and gets to her feet, trudging to the bathroom to get ready for bed and make sure she is still the same person in the mirror.

It never comforts her when she see’s herself… part of her hopes that maybe, just maybe, that one day she will flip the light switch and won’t recognize herself.

But of course she does. She knows the freckles on her face and their placement on her skin, the scar on her temple, her stoned over green eyes; turned dark and cold over the last few years… she see’s it all, and she wishes she didn’t.

She see’s something else that night… when she’s asleep in her bed after the clock passes 1AM.

She see’s Poe, standing in her doorway, with her hands crossed over her chest and a closed lipped smile across her face. She was the moon, and she was brighter than all the lights in New York City.

[bowiebond]

TW dubcon/mention of SA? (Ace character who doesn’t know they’re ace is belittled into sex — it doesn’t go into detail)

Jason never realising he’s asexual until he marries a girl and goes “oh fuck I waited until marriage like a good Christian boy, but I’m supposed to do the deed now…”

He holds off as long as possible. Makes excuses. Until it’s been months and his wife snaps at him.

“What, is your dick broken or something?! Am I not attractive enough for you? I married you in hopes of having an easy well off life with children that I could put my love into and you can’t even give me that?!”

Jason relents. He has pride and he wants to hold onto it and…well, it’s uncomfortable. It feels nice, physically, but he can’t focus on the pleasure when his skin is crawling, his stomach churning.

She’s gorgeous. Beautiful, really. He knew that. He doesn’t understand why his body doesn’t.

She doesn’t make him do it again for a while. Waits a few weeks but when there’s no positive test, she asks him to try again.

It takes four tries before she falls pregnant, and Jason is relieved. She’s gotten her baby. She doesn’t need him for anything more than a paycheck and a father now. She seems happy with that; he’s come to realise she never loved him. It explained the quick engagement. He had been swept up in his desire for a girlfriend, a wife who he’d come home to and kiss on the cheek and maybe watch a movie with that he never considered that maybe she didn’t want that too.

It feels like a break up, Jason thinks. He’s only been through one before with his highschool sweetheart, Chrissy.

Jason wonders if maybe he’s gay. It’s a thought that makes his gut clench and his throat tighten up. Hell, he even tries to watch some stuff. It does little to nothing for him. He stares hours at his screen, switching between pornos, straight and gay and even lesbian, but nothing strikes him as appealing. He half-considers the videos where men would pet their kneeling boys, interested in the gentle flushes it would induce, but it didn’t stir anything that made his dick hard. It just made his heart race, really, the intimacy of it.

He decides he’s not gay. Just…fundamentally broken. Or maybe he had been born for priesthood, celibate for life. Fuck, that sounded like a good life to him.

So he does it. He joins the priesthood. He’s married, sure, but it’s an easy excuse to why he can’t sleep with her anymore. He’s devoted to this way of life, he told her. To God. And he was. He had grown up looking towards the sky.

After a year, she divorces him. It’s hard, and rocky, but she finds a new man within two years who she actually does love.

He gets a son anyway, Joseph, even if he only sees him three days out of the week and he’s unable to stay the night most days because his mother is clingy regarding her baby. The few times he does get his boy for the night, he curls the five year old into his chest and reads him storybooks until he nods off, all chubby cheeks and tousled blond hair like his father.

He hopes he never grows up. Never gets bigger. Because one day he won’t want to share a bed with his father, be held by him, or even visit because he had his stepdad in the picture and his ex-wife has snippy comments on her tongue about him at the ready always.

But he gets older. Of course he does. Joseph is thirteen when he begs Jason to take him to see a metal band.

“I know, ‘it’s the devils music’, but they’re really good, Dad. Can’t you just do this for me, for once? Mom won’t let me go without an adult and she refuses to go with me. Or let David.” His stepdad. Joseph scowls as he spits the name. David isn’t all that bad, but he refuses to argue with his wife, and it gets on the boys nerves. Jason’s also aware there’s a bit of favouritism when it came to Joseph and their other two kids, Lauren and Peter.

Jason can’t say no. Not when his son is obviously being slighted instead of just being told no by his mother. She could be a real petty woman at times. What did Jason ever see in her?

“Fine.”

“Yes! Thank you, dad!” Joseph is buzzing the rest of the week, even offering to pay for his fathers ticket out of his saved up pocket money since Jason hadn’t been keen, but like hell was he taking his kids money.

“Keep it, ‘Seph. Buy yourself a shirt or something from the concert instead, okay?” Jason ignores that it’s a petty move on his end too. He knows his ex-wife will chuck a fit at their son wearing heavy metal merch, but the idea delights Jason. The satisfaction would be better than sex by tenfold. He would know.

Jason almost regrets coming when he sees the crowd. They’re all draped in black with wildly coloured hair and he feels like a sore thumb with his baby blue polo and white cardigan tied around his shoulders, blond hair swept back. He also feels a tad old for the crowd, but he sees a few men and women much older than him, so at least he knew he wasn’t the only grown up.

God. A priest at a heavy metal concert. What a scenario.

“Dad, dad, they’re coming on stage, oh my god.” Joseph is jumping on his toes, trying to see over the crowd and Jason, who never dropped his strict regime, figured he could chance one evening of carrying a barely teen on his shoulders. Joseph almost falls at first and laughs when Jason clamps down his hands. He’s heavier than he used to be and it makes Jason’s heart (and shoulders) ache.

He squinted over the heads to look at the stage and found himself feeling a strange sense of familiarity as a shaggy dark haired man in black and chains walked onto stage, taking the microphone in hand.

“How’re my undead fans going? You all still alive?” The crowd roared, including Joseph, and it made Jason wince at the volume. The leads voice is nice though, low and just a tad rough around the edges. “Any newbies in the crowd? First show with us?” Joseph cheered along with a few others and the lead laughed.

He pointed at Joseph, the easiest one to spot with his blond hair and elevated height.

“Good to see some fresh faces. Little white sheep here needs a shirt, seriously, you look like you’re about to puke from excitement, kid.”

“I love you, Eddie Munson!” Joseph screamed and Jason’s eyes widened in shock, jaw going slack. He almost dropped Joseph before gripping tighter.

Prays be to God.

Eddie cackled, almost falling with how low he leant back. He swung back up with a weird grace to him, hair swinging forward with the force. He stomped towards the edge and pointed harder at him.

“You — you, kid, you buy a shirt and I’ll fuckin’ sign it, you got spirit, squirt!” He spun around, still laughing as he grabbed the microphone stand. He looked over his shoulder after a moment with wide eyes. “Apologises to the parental figure. But coarse language is advised.” He grinned and grabbed his guitar with flourish, tossing the strap over his head.

“Enough talk, let’s fuckin’ let loose.” The lights shut off with a scream from fans before red bled onto the stage, fog curling around Eddie’s shadowed figure, three more figures making themselves known behind instruments.

“Let’s knock open our Coffin, boys.” The purr rumbles through the speakers, followed by a low vibrating note that makes Jason’s breath hitch and hair stand on end.

The concert is a blur. Jason had taken a few songs to get used to the volume, but he couldn’t lie. They were good. With the crowd, with their instruments — Eddie’s voice could go from warm honey to gruff, animalistic almost, within moments. It was an experience, that was for sure.

“I have to get a shirt, dad. He said he’d sign it. You think he really will?” Joseph is shaking all over and Jason is only mildly concerned. He’s pretty sure he’s shaking too, but it’s in a good way?

“I’m sure he will.” Jason decides he should probably avoid going backstage with his son. Eddie and him hadn’t been…friendly. Less than. Jason had thought Eddie annoying as all hell and he’s pretty sure Eddie hated his guts.

Unfortunately, Joseph’s too young to go backstage alone according to the bodyguard.

“Please, dad? It’ll only be a few minutes, I promise, this is a once in a life time. I’ll never ask for anything ever again!” He begs and Jason had already folded to his whims when he said please.

Seeing Eddie up close is staggering. Makes his heart stop and start and sputter like an old car. When Eddie looks at him, he knows he’s put a name to the face in moments.

“Carver?”

Joseph’s eyes widen as he looks between Eddie and his father.

“Munson.” He greets back. Joseph’s mouth fell open in shock.

“You know Eddie Munson, dad?” There’s stars in his sons eyes and Jason wants to kick his younger self in the rear for being a dick to Eddie because now his son is going to reap what he sowed in his youth.

“I…We went to school together.” He thinned his lips and Eddie was watching him intensely. It made his cheeks hot. He had never been able to hide his embarrassment or shame with how pale he was.

“You haven’t changed.” Eddie remarked, eyeing his outfit with a smirk. Jason bristled at his words.

“And I see you’re still a—“ A scowl was growing but it fell apart when his son spoke.

“You were friends with Eddie Munson, dad?! Oh my god, I can’t believe this, this is the best day of my life! My boring priest dad was friends with a rockstar!” Joseph’s voice cracked, squeaky like every boy starting puberty. Jason’s heart plummeted. Anxiety swirled in his gut as he realised he was about to disappoint his only child, opening his lips to refute his claim.

“Oh, yeah, totally, little dude.” Eddie interjects, grinning. “We go wayyyy back. Best friends, really.” It was a bold faced lie and even his band mates seemed to agree it was a total farce from the looks on their faces, ranging from bewilderment to eye rolling exhaustion.

“Why did you stop being friends then?” Joseph frowned.

“I got busy with my career, obviously!” Eddie gestured to their surroundings. “I didn’t have a lot of time to phone and catch up. Totally my bad, really.” Holy shit, he was really going the full mile on this one. Jason wasn’t sure whether to applaud him or not.

Joseph elbowed his fathers side and looked at him expectantly.

“Maybe you should get back in contact so you have some actual friends. Ones that are cool.” He barely whispered it and Jason’s ears burned.

“I have friends. Everybody at church is my friend, Joseph.” He snipped out between clenched teeth, glaring at his son who scoffed. When had he become such a snarky kid? He used to be so sweet.

“That doesn’t count.”

“I’m too busy, Joseph.”

“You don’t even do anything when I don’t visit—“

“I do so—“

“Yeah but not like, a lot—“

“Hey, quit punching your old man while he’s down. You should know better.” Eddie laughed, pinching at the blond boys Corroded Coffin tee that he had thrown on over the top of his other shirt. “Come here, let me sign this thing. I’ll even add in a Polaroid you can frame.” He winked and Joseph’s eyes sparkled.

“Please!”

“So he has manners when he wants something.” Jason muttered. Eddie grinned and pulled Joseph closer, signing the shirt with his name. He called over his bodyguard to take a photo. Jason stood off to the side awkwardly, waiting to leave.

“C’mon, you too, old pal.” Eddie pulls him in last second and Jason’s pretty sure his wide eyes will be immortalised on his sons dresser, along with the blonds mused fringe flipped up against Eddie’s frizzy dark locks. He looks ridiculous, he bemoans to himself as each member autographs the Polaroid.

“Okay, come on, we have to head home now or your mother will throw a fit.” Jason ushers Joseph to say his goodbyes.

“Tell your wife I said hi, Carver.” Eddie drolls on his way out and Jason huffs.

“She’s not my wife.” And he was glad for it.

Just as they made for the door, Jason felt a hand on his wrist. He jumps and nearly trips over his own damn feet when Eddie tugs his arms around to expose his forearm, squiggling down several digits with his tongue peeking out between his lips, concentrated.

Jason tugged his arm away with his heartbeat in his ears when Eddie caught his eye, grinning.

“Call me sometime. You know. To catch up.” He winked and Jason was thrown for a moment at the gesture.

“Uh…sure.” He cleared his throat and left quickly with Joseph who was gushing about the fact that his father had Eddie Munson’s phone number.

Jason doesn’t intend to call it. So he doesn’t. It’s two weeks later and he’s happy to forget all about the meeting when a familiar face walks right through his church doors.

“What’re you doing here?” He hissed quietly, making his way down the aisle. It was after his service, so there wasn’t anybody except Thomson, who always stayed an extra hour to pray alone. His wife was going through a hard battle with cancer, so Jason never disturbed him. Sometimes, he’d even pray with him, or before bed, he’d pray on his behalf.

“Checking if I burn when I enter holy ground.” Eddie mimicked his whisper, a crooked grin on his lips and hands stuffed in the pockets of his tight black pants. “Seems I’m still safe after fifteen years.”

“How did you even know this was my church?” Jason looked back towards Thomson and huffed, leading Eddie back out of the door and closing it behind them. He wasn’t going to disturb the poor man. “Are you stalking me or something?”

“Your son told me.” Eddie shrugged and Jason blinked a few times.

“How did my son tell you?”

“You didn’t use my number, but he sure did.” Eddie smirked and Jason’s face burned with realisation. Joseph must have memorised the number on his forearm. That sneaky brat.

“I’m so sorry.” He sighed. “He’s a good kid but he’s nosy at the worst times. Gets it from his mother. I’m sure you have plenty of things to be doing instead of entertaining a thirteen year old.”

Eddie snorted.

“Kid worships the ground I walk on. I’m happy to entertain him.” There was a long pause between them, and Jason hated how cool Eddie seemed with it. Jason could never stand the quiet.

“I’m…also sorry about high school.” He forced the words past his lips. He was, to a degree, sorry. He had been a douchebag. His years in service had humbled him greatly, especially with how many folks he met from different walks of life. Becoming a priest had made him reevaluate a lot about himself.

Eddie was still a prick though. He had antagonised Jason just as much back then, even if Jason had had the popularity to back him unlike Eddie.

“Honestly? Me too. We were stupid, teenage dicks.” Eddie conceded and Jason rolled his eyes.

“You were a freak though.”

“And you were a preppy shitstain jock.”

They stared at each other, and after a long silence, Jason’s lip quirked up.

“Forgive and forget?”

“Something tells me if I don’t say yes now, I’ll have to say a dozen Hail Mary’s instead later.”

“Only half a dozen. I can be nice.” Jason shrugged and Eddie cackled, head thrown back.

“God, Carver, man, I never thought this would be how we met again. A priest. I mean, it makes sense, you bible thumper.” He teased, trying to hook a finger under the white band of his collar. Jason smacked his hand away with a huff.

“My church is about sharing Gods teachings and Jesus’ love with people who want it. I wouldn’t call myself a bible thumper. That implies I’m out rallying against gay marriage and abortions in my free time. I don’t care what folks outside my church do. I learnt that early on.”

“Oh wow. You’re all ‘love thy neighbour’, huh?” Eddie seemed genuinely surprised. “Not gonna stone a whore in the front yard?”

“Gosh no!” Jason put a hand to chest, appalled. “If she finds pleasure in flesh, good for her, but I will pass. And perhaps advise her to be safe. And evaluate why she prefers one night stands to a healthy, long term relationship with an active partner and plentiful sex.” He crossed his arms with a shrug of his shoulders and brows.

Eddie laughed. Full belly laughed, bent at the knees and wheezing a little.

“Oh my god! You’re literally — full one-eighty! You’re a whole new guy! This is…god, this is kind of hilarious.”

“You didn’t change, from what I’m seeing.” Jason mused. Eddie grinned.

“Nah. I mean, I grew up, had to to be in the biz long term, but I’m still everybody’s favourite freak.” He joked with a good-natured shrug.

“And now you’re standing outside my church.”

“The kid is convinced we have to reconnect. Be friends again.” Eddie chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m a sucker for kids, man. Can’t disappoint them.”

“Do you have any?”

“Nah. I mean — I could have.” Eddie admitted shyly. “Didn’t work out. Got too wrapped up in my career, couldn’t settle. And groupies, try as they might to convince you I hooked up with them, and knocked them up; I didn’t.”

“Why not?” Jason quirked a brow. “Isn’t that the big things with rockstars? Drugs, music and women?”

Eddie barked a laugh.

“Drugs? Some hard stuff in my youth. Some weed when I need to mellow out during a writing sesh. Music? Ear-aching amount. But I’m proud of it. As for women…” He leaned in closer, voice low as he spoke. “Not really my type.” He pulled back with thin lips and Jason’s heart thumped harder in his chest, his collar feeling too tight.

“I told you. I don’t judge people. Only the Creator can.” He looked up at the clear blue sky. “And he doesn’t make mistakes.” He assured softly and Eddie smiled. “So…you’re gay.”

“Not exactly.” Eddie shrugged, looking a bit shy. “Not really interested in anybody. Not in that way.”

Jason frowned.

“Is that why you aren’t married?” Despite his many rings, Eddie’s left ring finger was bare. “You don’t…can’t love anyone?”

“I do. I can.” Eddie affirmed. “Just, uh, not interested in showing it through…physical means.”

It clicked in Jason’s head then. His eyes widened, lips parted in surprise.

“I see.”

“Must suck. Being a priest. Celibacy and all.” Eddie suddenly said, shifting his stance to something faux-casual. Trying to move the subject off himself and his lack of desire.

“Not really. It’s why I went into it.” Jason admitted, Eddie’s confession making him feel brazen.

“You went into priesthood for…the abstinence?” Eddie frowned, squinting in confusion.

“Well, I had faith, and I was in a marriage I was unhappy in. She had the child she wanted. It seemed like a good option at the time. I’m glad I did it, actually.”

“Wait, just let me— are you…” Eddie gestured vaguely and Jason smirked.

“I’m not gay. I’m not really straight either. I…don’t desire sex. At all.”

“You have a son.” Eddie reminded, like Jason didn’t know.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but…I’m glad I had him, even if I wasn’t comfortable making him.” Jason truly meant that. Joseph was his pride and joy.

“So you’re asexual too?”

“Asexual?” Jason frowned. “Like a plant?”

“No, you, uh…you’re not attracted to anyone. Physically.”

“No.” Jason’s brows furrowed. “There’s a word for that?”

“Yeah.” Eddie chuckled. “There’s a lot of words for a lot of things. I am curious though; do you like anybody romantically?”

Jason thought about it. He had thought he loved his ex-wife. He knew he had loved Chrissy before they spilt. He had had plenty of crushes as a kid and even in his years as a priest, he had pined for two women, and a man for a brief time.

“My heart doesn’t discriminate.” He decided with a soft blush. Eddie grinned.

“I feel you there.”

They stared at each other a long moment and Jason’s heart only raced faster, all too aware of it. Eddie offered him a dazzling smile. The show stopping kind.

“Maybe we should hang out. Properly. I’m pretty sure the little dude is already bragging to all his friends about his uber cool dad anyway.”

“I’m only ‘uber cool’ dad when you’re mentioned.” Jason clicked his tongue. Eddie smirked.

“Obviously. I’m the uber cool part, you’re the dad.”

Jason rolled his eyes with a shake of his head, trying to hide his smile. He was doing a poor job of it.

It took him thirty five years to realise he was asexual, but it took him thirty six to realise he was in love with Eddie Munson.

Go figure. The Lord really did work in mysterious ways, huh?

[widow-maximov]

I'll be your knight

Pairing: Natasha x Fem Reader

Warning: Language, fluff, angst, smut.

Summary: Dealing with sexism is a real struggle but eventually a line is crossed and anger is unleashed.

A/n: This is my first time writing smut so hopefully it's good enough :3

Word count: 3.5k

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

Being an Avenger isn't easy, especially for any women that join the life style of a hero. You had to put up with sexist comments all the time, most of the time it didn't really bother you but the more you heard random men talking about your best friend like she was some toy, the more it annoyed you.

The comments towards you stopped when you were recruited by Tony Stark, there was some level respect for you and you kind of liked it.

You had some issues with opening up to the team but when Wanda, showed you they are harmless, you slowly opened up more and more as you knew that they were going to be your new family from now on.

Everyone on the team warned you about the one particular redhead but you didn't listen, you wanted to be her friend, she looked scary but is an actual softie, but only around you.

It took time for the Russian to even greet you when she saw you but for you it was worth it, you respected her and always been there for her when she had no one to turn to.

She warmed up to you as she saw the security you were offering her, and you never backed down from your offer, she wasn't keen on your presence but had to learn to accept it.

Even if she didn't trust you fully, that was okay. You trusted her with everything because you knew she was a human just like you and no doubt needed someone to lean on.

⸻⸻⋙☸Flashback☸⋘⸻⸻

You walked around, exploring the place that now it was your new home, you never saw anything more fancy than this place, the room you were staying in was more than enough for 4 people.

Your own tv along with your own big walk in closet and your own bathroom, literally a five star hotel, you didn't complain at all, you were just shocked at how spacious this all was.

Each room was bigger than the other and it was starting to get all confusing, when you left the room, you would get mixed up with the way you walked in.

You loved it but at the same time you hated it, you accidently bumped into the Russian, she looked sweaty in her work out clothes and you stared at her with awkwardness.

She eyed you and cleared her throat, attempting to walk past you and continue where she was going but you stopped her "I'm sorry to disturb you but I just want to know where I can find the gym"

You rubbed your neck awkwardly "I- um- I tried searching everywhere but I'm lost"

Usually when people stutter around Natasha, it meant they were obviously attracted to her but with how you stood and looked away from her just showed her that you were afraid of her.

She didn't smile or anything "Walk straight until you reach the end of the hall and turn left"

You looked at her but she was already on her way so you shouted "Thank you!"

You made your way with her instructions of where to go, she knew how to hide her emotions but it was totally shocking for you how she never had a smile across her lips.

This was your first real conversation, not the hello's or goodbye's. It was a proper conversation, well kind of a proper but it was a start and that's what made you happy.

Second encounter with the redhead was a lot better, the two of you actually had a normal conversation in the morning, you were barely awake so coffee was your way of helping with that.

Walking into the kitchen, not really expecting anyone up early this morning, but the sight of the yawning Russian met your eyes, you smiled at her the best you could as you turned to make yourself a coffee.

"You know there is a coffee maker here?" Her naturally raspy voice spoke which caused you to look at her.

"Yeah I seen it but I have no idea how to use it" You confessed, you weren't embarrassed, you just weren't that fancy to ever own one or even be around one.

She turned around without a word and pulled out a cup, placing it underneath the little nozzle and within seconds the coffee poured out, she took the cup and placed it down as she slid it towards you.

You looked at her and then back at the coffee "Thank you Natasha"

She nodded as she sipped on her own drink "Since you are the only person who is up right now, you mind taking a look at this report, I'm not really sure what it means"

You was taken back, she was asking you for help? Shouldn't she know all of the reports like the back of her hand? She noticed your silence "Or you don't have to, I'll probably figure-"

"No, no I have nothing to do today so I don't mind helping" You smiled and took the coffee with you as you followed her into the room where she had a loads of reports laid out.

You looked at all of them "You know you can work on two reports at a time?"

She nodded "I know but the more I do within a certain time, the less I have later on"

You nodded as you sipped your warm coffee, it was very different to what you were used to, but this was definitely easier to get used to. It was the first time Natasha spent more than 2 minutes with you and you were more than happy to accept that.

So from that time, the two of you worked every morning with each other on reports, you learnt so much from her and in some way she learnt more about you rather than from you, she was impressed by your calmness with her constant questions.

To be fair you wanted to open up to the Russian, she had that safety vibe coming of her and you knew that she would never betray you or your trust that you put in her.

The mornings spent on reports also turned into evenings and soon there was movies every other day, she loved horror movies but you on the other hand loved action movies, there was plenty of action as a hero of the world but it never was enough.

She started to show herself around you more often and you really liked how you could make her laugh with simply couple words. She loved how close she gotten to you and how you trusted her with everything.

She had some doubt but you were always to reassure her, she was thankful for it each time, so in return she would ask you questions about yourself and you never hesitated for a moment to tell her.

⸻⸻⋙☸End☸⋘⸻⸻

But the problem was that not everyone saw it like that, they saw her for her body but not for her heart which is one of many reasons to why she was slow at opening up.

It angered you that people didn't want to treat her like anyone else, just because she was gorgeous didn't automatically make her less of a human.

Today was one of those days where you were busy, like busy busy, overloaded with bunch of reports that needed to be sorted before the next day, so you spent your whole day in you room, you glared at the clock on the wall.

You was doing this for 6 hours straight, no breaks so you decided to just do that. You stood up and stretched out, walking out of your room without anyone around, it did ignite curiosity in you so you walked around cautiously to see what was the deal.

Three of your teammates with two random agents were placed on the couch in the living room, trapping Natasha in between them, from her body language she didn't want to be there.

Bruce and Bucky along with Steve seem to laugh at the agents jokes, you moved closer to the door as you listened to what they were saying.

"Come on Natasha, you should do that power pose and show off that body" One of the agents spoke up as they eyed the Russian.

The other agent tried to move closer to her but hesitated, knowing she could easily tackle him "You can't let that body go to waste"

The anger was raising as words spilled out of their mouths, why didn't Steve stop them? Did he really think that as well?

"I was near to tapping that ass but you know women" Bruce made a comment as he laughed along with the agents.

"If she dyed her hair blonde, the amount of jokes we could make then" Bucky smirked as he spoke loudly.

Natasha was just taking in all of the comments, you could see across her face that she didn't enjoy it at all, so she stood up and what they did next made you finally act.

They all looked at her ass and whistled "Romanoff, you should dance for us, show off those curves"

"I am a little hungry as well, you might as well move that pretty ass of yours and make us something to eat" One of the agents spoke up as he laughed.

You walked in as you raised your brows at the 5 men sitting and eyeing Natasha as a piece of meat, you pulled her into you causing her to jump a little but relax when she realised it was you.

They all looked at you and the other agent smirked "Are yous going to put on a lesbian show for us?"

Now you wasn't just unimpressed but also pissed, you pulled yourself away from the Russian as you stepped forwards in front of Natasha "Listen here you little dick, If I hear that you even looked at Natasha in any way, I will fucking haunt you and make sure you don't live to see tomorrow"

His friend was terrified, he gulped when you looked at him "As for you, I want you to go and make her a fucking five star meal and if it's not good, I swear to god you'll regret being born"

He shook his head so fast as he stood up but you stopped him with your powers "You want a show? I will fucking give you a show"

You gripped his face, squishing his cheeks very firmly, your hand started to glow blue as you made him hallucinate that he was in pain, from the fact that he couldn't move and he felt as if his skin was being peel off he only could scream.

You looked at the 4 men who looked very terrified of you, your eyes had flames and you wasn't going to go easy, on neither of them "If any of you ever comment anything sexist or inappropriate about any woman, including Natasha. I will make your life a living hell"

"Do yous understand?"

They shook their heads and scattered away from you as fast as they could, you let go of the dude in front of you, he looked weak but he gotten up so fast that you could swear he had powers as well.

You turned towards Natasha, worried "Are you okay? Did they touch you?"

You looked her up and down as you made your way towards her, she shook her head with a small smile. You pulled her into a hug as a single tear slid down Natasha's face.

You pulled away as you wiped that tear off with your thumb "Why didn't you act Nat?"

"What's the point? It wont stop them from saying what they want Y/n/n"

The pain in your heart was strong at the words, how could any woman not be scared of what could happen if they do protest against men.

You cupped her face as you looked into her eyes "Natasha Romanoff, I promise you that I will protect you from their filthy mouths"

She smiled, this time it met her eyes which caused you to smile. You crushed on Natasha for a long time and promised yourself that when the time was right you would tell her but each time it was harder to do so.

Her and Bruce at the time were something but when she decided to break it off, you were there for her you told her she didn't need to tell you the reason to why she decided that but reassured her that it was probably a good reason to do so.

Now you are holding her face as her eyes are locked with yours, you could feel those butterflies in your stomach raise up "I will be your knight in casual clothes because armour isn't my style"

She laughed with her whole heart, causing you to laugh as well "Gosh I love you.."

You froze at her words, and so did she, her eyes widen at her words but she knew there was no way out of this so she pulled her sleeve and started to fidget with it.

Your hands were on her face but dropped at those words, you stood still trying to understand what just happened, she continued as she looked down "I hope that's okay but I love you Y/n"

You couldn't believe your ears, the woman who always had trouble opening up, right now was vulnerable with her whole heart to you and you was stuck, frozen as you stared at her.

"I never had anyone stand up for me the way to did today, I started to realise that I had feelings that one day when you were near to death on that mission" She was still fidgeting with her sleeve.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way but you just needed to know.." She confessed, she was standing in front of you holding her heart out in her hands, offering you to take it.

You smiled whole heartily as you looked into her eyes when you pulled her face by her chin "It's more than okay Tasha"

Your hands dropped to her hips as you pulled her in closer to you "Because I love you too"

That look in her eyes, you could see that she had those butterflies too, her eyes locked with yours, she tilted her head slightly to the side and crashed her lips against yours.

Her hands were placed on the back of your neck pulling you deeper into her kiss, you slowly backed her into the wall and when her back hit the wall, she gasped which you used the opportunity to slide your tongue inside her mouth.

The kiss became heated real quick, forgetting that the two of you were still in the public place, only when someone cleared their throat, make the two of you look where the sound came from.

Natasha hid her face in the crook of your neck as she quietly laughed at how awkward that is, you pulled yourself away from her as you looked in the direction of Tony, who looked at you with pure disgust.

"As if you never done this, but sorry you had to witness..." You rolled your eyes at him at first but looked over at Natasha who was still leaning on the wall "This"

She smiled as she intertwined her hand with yours and tugged it to pull you out of the living room, the two of you made it to her room but it wasn't long before you reclaimed her lips with your own.

This time it was a little bit more gentle, you backed her up to the bed as the back of her leg hit the bed frame, before you pushed her back and claimed on top of her.

The only light was the moonlight that was shining through the blinds, you kissed her passionately and redirected your kisses down to her neck, she moved her face to the side giving you more access to her neck.

You left marks as you slightly stank your teeth in but sucked the spot right after, earning a few small moans from the redhead beneath you, she was slowly turning into a mess but she managed to slightly pull you away.

"Don't you have a lot of work?" She asked a little worried but lust was more visible.

"It can wait" You declared as you looked into her eyes "Are you sure you want this?"

She smiled at you being caring and asking for consent "I want this детка (baby)"

You smirked as you placed a soft kiss on her lips and returned to her neck, giving it a couple more kisses and slowly moving down, the only thing that stopped you was the material of her clothes.

She slightly lifted herself off as you pulled her shirt off, exposing her upper body, you looked at her in admiration, her eyes had slight doubt across them but you were quick to reassure her.

"You are beautiful Tasha" You meant every word that came out of your mouth.

There was a blush across her cheeks as she smiled at you, your hand reached for the back of her bra as you unhooked it and pulled it off her.

You took couple of seconds to admire the view before attaching your mouth to her nipple, she bit her bottom lip to prevent her from moaning.

Your free hand glued itself to the other breast, giving it the same amount of attention as your mouth did, you moved your lips to her ear as your hand kept playing with her now hard nipple.

"I want to hear you Natty" You whispered into her ear and with that Natasha moaned into your ear causing a small smirk to settle on your lips.

You continued to kiss down her body until you reached the bottom of her stomach, you looked up at her to see if she was okay, she nodded to give you the confirmation.

You pulled her shorts off along with her underwear, exposing the bottom half of her body, you could smell her arousal which only fuel you on.

You teased her as you kissed her inner thigh, leaving marks there as well, you would from time to time lock eyes with her. You moved closer to her pussy, teasing her with your tongue causing some frustrated moans to escape her mouth.

Her hips would buck as you would teasingly lick her wet folds, she looked down at you as her eyes were consumed with lust "Please Y/n! Just fuck me already"

That's all you needed to hear before you attached your mouth to her dripping pussy, giving her clit the attention first as the more louder moans escaped her mouth.

You gripped her with your hands as your tongue worked it's magic against her hard clit, she was gripping the bed sheets as moans were spilling out of her lips, not caring if anyone heard.

You moved one of your hands as you slipped one of your fingers inside her and without letting her adjust you started to thrust into her, the feeling of pleasure was building up quickly in the bottom of her stomach with each thrust.

"Oh god" Those were the only words she managed to choke out, she was soaked which stoked up your own arousal along with her moans.

Her hips were quick to match your pace as you thrusted, bringing her closer and closer, you pushed the second finger inside and this time you curled the two fingers, hitting her spot all over again.

One of her hands gripped your arm as her nails dug into your skin, the other hand was still tightly gripping the bedsheet, her head was thrown back as you came up to her face.

Your pace of your fingers never slowing down but thrusting harder and fast "Let me show you how you should be treated instead darling.."

You kissed her lips as she moaned, you moved back down as you felt her walls tighten, knowing she was about to cum. You pushed your fingers even deeper into her, her breathing was heavy letting out low and loud moans.

You watched as the orgasm consumed Natasha with your name falling freely from her lips, you slowed down your thrusts to let her ride out her orgasm, holding her steady pulling your fingers out of her as you licked her clean, and moved back up to her lips.

Kissing her as she slightly moaned at the taste of herself into the kiss, you pulled away from her as she was still breathing heavily, staring into your eyes with a smile.

"Now it's your turn" She spoke in between breathes.

You shook your head "Not today darling, today's focus is you.."

You stripped yourself naked as you pressed your warm body against Natasha, glaring at the marks you left and holding her tight in your arms as she slowly calmed down from her high.

You were sure in this moment that you wanted to hear her moan your name till the rest of your life, it was the music to your ears and you didn't want it any other way.

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

If you want to join my tag list, click here and enjoy my future posts.

Tag-list: @diaryoflife,@wandanatblogs,@madamevirgo, @eilarch

[storiesofsvu]

Well… that was… *something*

Law & order premier event thoughts…

Okay, here we go!

(Fuck i just realized i never did a “what i hope/wish to see this season! I’ll do it after)

oh. Okay. We’re diving *right* into things with Ukraine? 😳 jfc

Cosgrove(?)’s daughter & all this talk about gunshots is terribly foreboding

SNIPED BY DADDY BENSON JEEESUS

I just do not like Cosgrove….

Oh GOD & NOW he’s fighting with Stabler?! We couldnt have gotten through this ep without a “whos dick is bigger” contest, could we? 🙄🙄 like i was *just* gonna say how frank’s acting like stabler & then stabler shows up… ugh. Bring daddy benson back pls

Ayannaaaaaaa lookin like a SNACK as per usual!😍

This “crossover” really is more like a 3hr movie. First 30mins moved pretty slow like the OG l&o vibes… now we’re into the OC feels. Where are my svu babies? Bring them in pls.

I cant decide whether this CI is a complete idiot or a genius.

Why are we being forced to deal with so many low neck, chest exposed outfits for stabler 🥴

Oh so we’re putting Amanda in oversized blazers this year?

Watching them do raids on l&o after watching so much Chicago pd is just pathetic. Like, they’d lose so many cops with how bad it is.

I’m sorry. But if i was going to raid a house of a very dangerous criminal… i’d put my hair up to make sure i could SEE what i was doing…

Loving this style update for Jet😍

Did ANYONE think the CI was gonna make it through the ep?? Like cmon that was obvious

There was 3:44min left on the timer & that was WAY less than that….

Are velasco & fin just like, kickin it back at the precinct watching tv or something rn?!

Yessssssss Sam is here now! 😍😍

But also hate the other ada

Wait… this perp (in pt3) has DEFINITELY been on svu before… he sold liv & elliot a baby… right?!

Sir… you are sitting like a lesbian…

WOW we just jumped two months!!

Where TF is carisi??

AMANDA ROLLINS IS ANTI TAYLOR SWIFT??!! I *NEVER* WOULD HAVE THOUGHT! Like she would be the number 1 swiftie…

FUCK.

Okay like i KNEW something like this was probable because dw wanted her killed off BUT COULD WE GET THROUGH A SEASON OPENER WITH**OUT** SOMEONE IMPORTANT GETTING SHOT??!!

Carisi’s gonna show up now, right??

UGGGHH PEEEETTEERR YOUR ACTING!!??? GOOD GOD. JUST SO SCARED & worried & 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭

Wtf is this jacket olivia has on? I cant tell whether its leather or denim or leather posing as denim??!

Liv did what was right. Putting nicole out of harms way was way better than making her testify when she’s already almost been killed multiple times.

Oh fuck you mccoy

How is NO ONE from the da’s office even TALKING about/worried about rollins?!

THANK YOU SAM!!! I KNEW I LIKED YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE ON THIS DAMN SHOW (also she’s looked *bomb* in every outfit so far..)

I feel like we might be starting to learn more about Sam’s history/childhood thanks to this ep? Or like, this might be hinting at some future character arc?

UCK. I literally just said “at least elliot’s gone” and WOW he feels the need to come back…

There are TEN mins left & we still havent gotten an update on amanda??!! Come ON

Yo, dick wolf, tell me you hate amanda rollins without telling me you hate amanda rollins 😒😒😒

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! The crap scenes we GOT instead of:

a panicked emotional carisi at the hospital, a sympathetic & just as worried liv who’s trying to hide it to be the bigger supporter, a worried fin who’s watched her take a bullet already!! The REUNION & relief when they’re told she’s out of surgery & going to be totally fine. The CONVERSATION between amanda & sonny, the heartfelt confessions of how scared they were to lose each other, how carisi was internally freaking out about the girls and legally who would take care of them if amanda died, and how it should be him over anyone from her family. How the only thing aside from the girls amanda could think of was that she wished she had told sonny she wanted to be with him forever, be the dad to her girls, how life is short & they’d wasted enough time already. Followed by an untraditional proposal, one that neither of them expected & sonny doesnt even have the ring, but they agree to marriage anyways. FOLLOWED by liv, fin, velasco, jessie & billie coming into the room in a big happy found family wrap up…

Brb… just wrote a one shot that was better than the wrap of this damn episode.

Ugh 🙄🙄🙄

@bookpillows here ya go

[heisenbergsmetalboobie]

Here's some headcannons no one asked for, for the lords since I can't get a single one of them out of my head.

Please be aware this is only how I see each character! If you have different hcs, cool these are just mine :)

Alcina Dimitrescu

She's a lesbian or well, she likes female presenting people. In my opinion, there's no denying that she hates men. For goodness sake she calls Ethan 'stupid manthing.'

'Why does she hate men?' You ask well, i believe that the men of the village caused her to hate men. It's clear that Alcina is extremely attractive, but maybe some of the men in the village took it too far: Cat-calling her and eventually her daughters. Their comments overtime annoyed her, especially when if came to her daughters. She fixed it by bringing the men to castle dimitrescu and, as heisenberg puts it, the man's dick is cut off in the castle.

When castle dimitrescu was more lively, Alcina had a couple flings with some of her maids. Though all of her maids end up dead one way or the other, I think she turned the ones she liked the most into Moroaică. The rest obviously were turned into dinner for her and her daughters

Speaking of daughters, Alcina is definitely a better mother than mother Miranda. Seeing as Miranda saw her and the rest of her siblings as monsters, I'm sure Alcina was kind to her daughters. I don't think she'd want them to feel like monsters themselves, so their childhoods were filled with many positive affirmations. Maybe, too many seeing as all three girls have very large egos.

Alcina's opinions on the other lords are very clear. She has hatred for all of them, though it varies depending on each one. The one she hates the least is probably Donna, she enjoys their company somewhat. That is, as long as Angie isn't around. Alcina hates that stupid doll, honestly she hates all the dolls. They oddly make her unsettled, as if Donna wasn't unsettling anyways.

Moreau is hated by Alcina due to him thinking that Miranda is actually his mother. Well, he may not say it out loud but the way he addresses her and looks at her makes Alcina sick. His looks are only the cherry on top, in her mind how could she be family with something that looks like that?

Lastly is Heisenberg. At first, she didn't mind his presence. He didn't look like an abomination and could hold decent conversation, that was until she saw how much Mother Miranda favored him. This pissed her off to no end, after learning that she began to see more flaws in him. From the way he speaks to his manners, almost every part of him infuriates her. How could Mother Miranda favor such a man child? How could she pick Heisenberg over her? Now even being around him for meer minutes makes her want to shred him to bits.

Donna Beneviento

When it comes to sexuality and gender, Donna can't really express it though Angie can I don't think they would be willing to tell their 'family' their identity. If Donna were to express it, I'd feel she'd use she/they pronouns or identity as nonbinary. I can't really explain it, I just get nonbinary vibes from them. As for sexuality, I'm unsure of their romantic attraction but she's definitely asexual. Once again, I can't explain it but they have the vibes.

Aside from Angie, Donna has built every single one of her dolls from scratch. Seriously they even carve the wood and hand paint each one. Creating these dolls is one of the few things that bring Donna peace. Honestly, she sees these dolls as more of a family than Mother Miranda's 'family.'

Another one of Donna's hobbies includes tending to their plants. Seriously, in the spring and summer months her home is covered in beautiful greenery. They are just fascinated with how plants can be used for other purposes, like with the fungal-infected plants. Almost all the books within her estate are about different plants and their properties and the lab they have is used to test those abilities. Though their test subjects are never well behaved due to being lycans.

When it comes to the other members in Miranda's 'family', Donna doesn't seem to care for them. She doesn't enjoy any of their company, especially Moreau. Though they don't express it themselves, Donna makes sure to let the others know her opinion them via Angie. The one she can stand the most is probably Alcina, mostly due to her being alot quieter than the others.

Salvatore Moreau 

This poor poor fish man. Moreau is physically the most unpleasant lord and he knows it. He's insecure. How could he not when the rest of his family call him horrible names? He's constantly put down by the people he truley feels closest to. This includes the woman who he truly sees as his mother.

Though he doesn't enjoy his family's comments, he desperately wants their approval. Especially Heisenberg. Moreau looks up to his as if Karl is his older brother, even though Moreau a great deal older than him. If the metal bender will allow it, he does his best to help out. Sadly, it doesn't last long since the factory is so dry and his vomit causes the metal to rust.

When he's not conducting experiments, he's watching sappy romance movies on his TV. Though Moreau doesn't believe he'll ever find love, he likes seeing others be happy. Sadly, once Heisenberg found out about Moreau's hobby he make fun of him to no end. So now, he's ashamed of watching something that makes him happy

Look, I love all of the lords but when it comes to them being mean to Moreau I wanna punch them.

Karl Heisenberg

This man is 1000 percent bisexual/pansexual. The way he flirts with Ethan is undeniable. The only thing keeping me from saying that he's gay is the pure fact that I simp for him.

Karl is alot smarter than he looks, seriously he built a whole army of machine people. Though he is smart, he likes to play the role of the stupid redneck. He'd rather someone underestimate him in a fight rather than overestimate him.

In his free time, I like to think that Karl prank calls the other lords. He did set up their phone lines after all. His constant prank calling has made Alcina miss a couple of important calls from Mother Miranda and made Donna completely take apart her phone line. Moreau on the other hand is so gullible, that he believe everything Karl says during his prank calls:

Moreau, innocently answer his phone: Hello?

Heisenberg, snickering: hey, is your refrigerator running?

Moreau: um..I think so-

Heisenberg: then you better go catch it!

Moreau, on the verge of tears: No! Ny fridge!!

Karl gets very bored easily. So bored in fact that he goes and explores the village and surrounding forest. During one of these explorations, he stumbled upon Miranda's lab. This caused him to find documents on him and the other lords. After reading them, it gave him a better reason to build up his army and take down Mother Miranda once and for all.

This man definitely has his own personal lycan that he treats like a dog. He has a comfy bed and treats for this thing. Karl knows that the lycan was once a human, but he doesn't give a damn. So what it use to be a person! It looks like a dog now and dammit he wants a dog.

[jimsmovieworld]

THE SWEETEST THING- 2002 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What is this? The greatest movie of all time?

Quite possibly yes. And i cant believe ive never seen this before now. The sweetest thing is about a group of best friends who dance, drink, have fun, and generally cause chaos wherever they go....

Cameron Diaz plays Christina Walters, the main character. She's every guys dream, but doesnt open up to them so they brush it off as her being a lesbian because its 2002.

Christina Applegate plays Courtney, shes fun, hilarious, gives legitamately good advice, and has a great pair of fake jugs.

Jimsmovieworld Hall of Famer Selma Blair plays Jane, shes stunning, lovely, and getting over a guy that left her and keeps ending up in ridiculous situations. During the course of the movie she fucks a guy in an elephant costume, takes a dress to the drycleaners after some guy busts on it and bumps into everyone shes ever met there, and accidentally gets a guys dick stuck in her mouth for hours during a blimpjob. Unreal. Selma Blair says she got the job as no one else wanted to do that scene.

The main plot of the movie revolves around Christina meeting Peter (Thomas Jane) in a club that she initially argues with but realises shes attracted to, she missed her chance to meet him at a party and remembers his brother (Jason Bateman) is getting married. Realising this is her only chance to see him again she decides to gatecrash the wedding with Courtney. But not before picking up these electric outfits from a local store...

The scene of them buying the dresses was fun. Basically all the scenes are fun? Love all the main actresses and they had such great rapport. They seemed like real friends and that always helps a movie be more enjoyable. Thought theyre were some hilarious moments, an occasional joke here and there that wasnt that funny, but when youre having this much fun, who cares.

The sweetest thing has flawless early 2000s vibes. Love the fashion. Enjoyed the song Strange Condition by Pete Yorn.

The Sweetest Thing was directed by Roger Kumble who also directed Selma Blair in Cruel Intentions (also the greatest movie of all time).

Was written by Nancy M Pimental who cameos as the girl who keeps throwing up in the club.

Just when you think the movie cant get any better, out of nowhere.... BANG!

PARKER POSEY PALOOZA!!!

Parker Posey plays Judy! The beautiful bride to be, except it turns out that shes actually set to marry Peter! Much to the ladies surprise. Despite receiving top billing Parker is unfortunately only in a few scenes, however she was excellent as always and really brightened up the screen. Looking good Parker.

The only other thing i want to mention is that maybe half an hour into the movie they go to a chinese restaurant and start singing a song about penises that escalates into a huge musical number that the entire restaurant gets involved in. Maybe because id just eaten a large space cake before i put this on, but i nearly choked to death. Its so unbelievably ridiculous and bizarre that i couldnt stop laughing for the full 5 minutes. It was unsurprisingly cut out of the US release and only appears on the unrated dvd. In a 20 year reunion interview, all three of the main actresses said theyd love to do a sequel. Fingers Crossed.

The Sweetest Thing received pretty brutal reviews. I think this movie was very much ahead of its time in terms of having a female cast do a comedy with R rated or even just gross out gags. Theyre seem to be lots of them now but people perhaps werent ready for them back then. To wrap things up, this is the greatest movie of all time and i cant wait to rewatch it.

[maxine-drusilla-wayne]

~toxic attraction~💚

Barbara Gordon x fem!super solider!reader

Requested!

Warnings:sexism,homophobia,crying!(idk what else)

///////////////////////////////////////

You had flinched when you heard wrestling outside of were you were.

You may not be the Scooby gang or a dumb character in horror movies but you still went to go check it out even if you would end up more annoyed.

“What are you ragamuffins doing?”you had seen two of your “friends” other super soldiers wrestling like wild animals on the floor.

“Ugh nothing! But uhh……how’s babs?” Billy had clearly had a crush on her for 5 months and you hated it….but not for the reason most would think.”ew. Asshole.MY girlfriend is fine even tho it’s non of your business,but if anything worry about getting your own back.”

You didn’t like billy…no ofc not! You were lesbian tf! But the reason you didn’t like the crush wasn’t because babs could leave you….no you know she’ll never leave you. You hated it bc let down your confidence and thought that someone else would instantly leave you for him!

“Oh calm down y/n! Stop having a stick up your ass. Well……… although I know what I would love to put in Barbara’s.” He smirked. You snapped like how you were about to snap his neck in a second.

“BILLY I WILL BEAT THE FUCK OUTTA YOU! Don’t talk about my fucking girlfriend like that! You think Just because I’m female that I won’t beat you the fuck up!”at this point you were ready to go to jail.They we’re never your friends.hell they were sexist to you on multiple occasions!

“Well women aren’t compatible to men! Women are good for sleeping with,cooking,doing house work,and having kids! Besides…..Barbara is way to pretty to get lesbian or bisexual or anything but straight for that matter.” That was your final straw.

No more fucking around this time.

You threw him through a glass table.he was bleeding everywhere.but luckily for him he wouldn’t die.

“Oh I’ll share with you!” You quoted a horror movie as you went to fight him some more.

But his little sidekick Logan was there to save him.

“Woah!woah y/n calm down!” He said getting in front of billy to protect him against you so you couldn’t hurt him anymore.

“Oh where is that ‘big dick energy’ now billy?! Huh?!”you were about to break Logan’s hand for always supporting him.

“ALWAYS SAYING THAT ‘pussy is for men’! And that ‘dicks are for chicks’! Always making fun of me for used to be ,being poor! Well now sorry I left my Pradas at the cleaners! Along with my hoodie and my ‘fuck you’ flip flops,you pretentious doucebag!”

“You don’t deserve to be a super soldier. Nor do you deserve to be Alive ‘for all that matter!’”

And with that you stormed away.

=

You came in the apartment,tears running down your face.you didn’t know if you would be able to protect the city tonight.

But as you heard someone,you quickly whipped away your tears knowing that they weren’t able to stain your beautiful face yet.

“Y/n.”Barbara said walking towards you.”hello princesa.” You said with quick sad smile. “I heard what happened. Why would you do that?” She asked sternly.

You almost had a panic attack right then and there. “They had always been homophobic and sexist but this my final straw. Because of the things they were saying.” You held back tears.

She sighed. “Y/N?! Are you sure they didn’t just!..” she cut herself off as she saw a sight that could break her into a million pieces.

She saw as your eyes were glossed over and your Chin wobbling and wants to frown.

“Y/n I’m sorry. What were they saying bc now I know by the look in your eyes that your not Just being overdramatic.”it was true. You were very overdramatic sometimes.

You took the deepest of breaths and smiled looking over her face completely seeing she was generally confused and and upset for almost making you sadder.

“You know what? You’re right maybe I am just being overdramatic! Maybe I just need a hot bath! I’m fine and maybe what they were saying wasn’t that bad!” You said Unsarcastically. You tried to look calm even if you really weren’t.

“You’re ok?” Babs asked knowing the true answer. “Yeah.” You said still smiling,nodding your head.but after 5 seconds you started breaking down.

“Y/n/n!” She ran closer to you,hugging you.and she hugged you tight! She left go and held you’re face with both hands.

“It just fucking hurts babs!” At that point she almost started crying. “Y/n it’s gonna be ok! I promise!” She was planning a murder. She had never seen you crying like this before!

“Please just make it stop babs! Please make it stop!” You were frustrated especially with putting up with the boys bs for so long! “What?! I’ll make anything stop for you!” You we’re trying to calm down. She was telling you take deep Breaths and obliged.

“They think just because I’m a woman that I can’t fight crime and can’t fight at all or do certain tough shit,I’m a goddamn super soldier for fucks sake!” You were hurt. And so was babs with what she was hearing.

“Listen y/n. Don’t go out a fight crime tonight or else you’ll might end up doing something you might regret darling.” She was right so you nodded your head. “As of right now just go take a warm bath,lay down and do anything to get your mind off it. Ok?” “Ok.”

She kissed your head. “Ok my love,I’ll be back in a couple of hours and make sure to bring you back some things.” She said putting on her leather jacket.

“Ok babsy!” You said smiling. You both kissed one more time before Barbara left to do something that wouldn’t be expected from her………

The end.

///////////////////////////////////////

Hope you guys like! This was requested but I don’t know shit bout super soldiers🤪(I only know Steve and Bucky!) should I do a part 2?

[annarendellsa]

my heathers headcanons

it's the way i see them and draw them, you don't have to agree! this is based on both the musical and the movie

CW: mention of suic*de and e*ting disorders (bulimia) as well as various mental illnesses

Heather Duke

• heather duke is aromantic and yes its because she wears green, have you seen her socks in the off broadway musical? /hj

• more seriously, she IS aromantic but it took some time for her to figure out. she is allo but she doesn't label her sexuality, and she was always confused and frustrated to experience sexual attraction but never romantic attraction; she had a hard time accepting this part of herself.

• post heathers: maybe she discovers about non binary identities and asks her girlfriends to test out they/them pronouns on her? idk? aro-agender duke?

• she also struggles with empathy as she is naturally apathic

• and she's putting this image of a cold mean girl because she believes she can only be that given she's aro and ND

• post musical: she had no idea mcnamara actually tried to commit suic*de and when veronica tells her she breaks down in tears and spend a few days writing an apology letter to mcnamara

• post musical: mcnamara helps her to develop her compassion, knowing it's not her fault she's incapable of empathy. she didn't have to forgive her, but they did, and it really motivates duke to become a better person and be as nice as her

• post musical: she sees a doctor! she eventually recovers from her bulimia. veronica and mac are 100% supportive of her recovery, and very proud

• she gets bigger as part of her recovery and learns to embrace it

• duke is very pale with really dark and thick hair and eyebrows, soft features and quite a lot of body hair

• you know the bootleg where duke has blonde hair? when she's on the tv she speaks german and i vibe with german duke now

• duke Cannot say fuck and if someone is prude/innocent/idk it's her. the why are you pulling my dick was just to fluster veronica i think

Heather McNamara

• they use she/they pronouns!! just because. she still identifies as a girl though

• mac is autistic of course, it's like semi canon in the musical

• since she's very tall (movie) she stims while standing like being on the tip of her toes or rocking back and forth and the others can be quite annoyed because she moves a lot but they never snap at her

• post musical: veronica finds her stimming endearing and they know it's safe to stim around her, especially since veronica stims herself

• post musical: mac hums as a stim too and you can often find macnamawyer snuggling on the floor while humming in harmonies together

• she used to mask a LOT and it played a big part in her depression. she knows they had to stop themselves from stimming when she was a heather, she had been the weird kid in middle school but now that chandler took her under her wing, she has to pretend to be NT in order to stay in the lifeboat (😭)

• she's a lesbian!! of course she is

• she knows it since she is in middle school and has been """gal pals"""" with chandler since them but she still struggles with it she has comphet yk, but still less than chandler

• chanamara definitely practiced kissing together "to be ready when we'll have to kiss boys" 👀👀👀

• chandler always had a soft spot for mac and tried to hide it by being cruel to duke

• post musical: it took mac some time to understand that duke had nothing against her personally. she was chill with them until chandler died. from that moment she had to prove herself as the new queen bee and mac was a collateral victim

• duke definetely gave her trauma though and mac is in the process of trusting her again

• mac themselves is not a cinnamon roll just yet and she still has to make up for what they've done to others

• mcnamara has nicknames like mcNcheese or macaroni (veronica came up with those)

• they're also a vegetarian and she loves yellow food

• like she ever only eats yellow food actually (autistic thing). that girl is deficient! part of why she looks that fragile and thin

• also i see mcnamara as mixed race with golden/light brown skin and they have this type of curly curly hair but she straightens it all the time so it's only just wavy (once again, to blend in with the heathers)

• her natural hair colour is actually a dark strawberry blonde? her dad is irish and he's a redhead that's why (stole this from @cam-eats-candles hehe) but she dyes it so it's lighter

• post musical: she starts wearing her natural hair!! and goes with her mom to the afro hairdresser to start to get her curls done right (cornrows mac!!)

• their parents divorced (movie) and it's for the best. mac has daddy issues and only goes to her dad to get cute jewellery for their girlfriends 💖 (he doesn't just sell engagement rings. a lot of regular expensive rings, really)

• she's not a baby, she's not weak nor completely innocent and pure!! the girl is a head cheerleader, she's strong and flexible as hell.

Heather Chandler

• heather chandler is Also a lesbian BUT she is on the ace spectrum like demisexual? so yeah she's double disgusted when she "sleeps" with men

• as a queen bee she's also convinced that the only way to exist is through male validation :(

• chandler is taller than duke and veronica but shorter than mac

• chandler's skin is like rosy and it freckles very easily. i see her with the same cloudylike hair she has in the movie, dark blonde, with the red scrunchie only holding back some of her hair

• she is Buff and is genuinely into sports (lesbian jock like regina george)

• she has a sharp hourglass shape her shoulders are broad and her legs long and strong. she could lift veronica against a wall easily. and she did

Veronica Sawyer

• ADHD!! she's been diagnosed for a while but only became medicated post musical

• bisexual!! so bisexual!! without a preference. she's always been open and proud about it and her parents are supportive

• for me veronica is brown, with thick and dark hair and dark brown eyes, midsize, average height

Martha Dunnstock

• that's canon i know, but she's fat, and not the socially acceptable-hourglass kind of fat. big arms! big tummy! double chin! (i see fanart of her just being chubby quite often and it's ANNOYING like that's a big part of her character)

• she's perfectly healthy like this as are many fat people :))

• i also like the hc that her attempt at sewer slide made her permanently disabled and that she keeps using a wheelchair! because it happens, it's important to show it, and it gives me a lot of ideas for cute kindergarten girlfriends prompts 💓💓

• of course realistically being fat AND physically disabled in the 80's was and is not an easy thing to go through but it's in my head so

• she's also a tiny bit taller than veronica

• i don't hate the outfit she wears in the off broadway show, but I like her west end outfit better!! it's a lot more 80's inspired and i totally see her in kidcore/clowncore etc, even if pastels are cool too

• in the current west end version, martha is played by a black woman and she looks amazing! however I've been drawing and imagining martha as east/south east asian, for no reason really?? also idk kinda rubs me the wrong way that in the more official versions of heathers it's always duke that is black, or martha? not the others? hmm

• i'm not comfortable with hcs that exclusively babyfy her or patronise her like a bunny rabbit just bc she's a fat outcast who likes unicorns!! she's not just cute and giggly! martha can and does swear and she Fucks, like mcnamara

• big round glasses + big nose + long brown hair

• taking inspiration from the princess bride line but she's a huge movie nerd. yes she loves happy endings but she also loves horror movies, as long as they have a happy ending

• she never gets a makeover omg y'all just hate people with glasses and a childish aesthetic istg

• she takes this aesthetic further though and

• post musical and high school: she doesn't just wear baggy clothes anymore as she only did that to prevent more bullying. she develops an unique style with a lot of pink and glitter and she's awesome

------

ok this is getting long ill probably do more!! tell me what you think <3

[devilthcghts]

kylie bunbury, lesbian, cis female + she/her ― hey look, it’s skylar baudin! they’re 33 years old, they’ve lived in shrike heights for all of their life, and they’re currently working at dick’s sporting goods. i heard they’re pretty tactless, but i think they’re so analytical at the same time. can they make it out alive?

***

* putting it simply - skylar is a baseball gay. write what you know, right? the biggest change is centering her knowledge to 1980s baseball instead of present time. my favorite team didn’t even exist back then. wild.

* as arizona robbins said:

* she wanted to make it big... ish... as big as she could make it, considering women baseball isn’t a big thing like men’s baseball is. prime hitting tools in a prime position. but sadly she got a freak injury that ended her career before she could hit her prime. how many times can i say prime before it stops sounding like a word?

* baseball was all she knew for so long that she barely knew who she was without it

* struggled for a real long time, like she hit her midlife crisis but in her 20s. kept asking herself... who am i.

* who she is a storm to be reckoned with. someone you never want to mess with. someone who will not simply not rest until her revenge tour is complete. a movie cliche is someone seeing the error of their ways and realizing their skewed morals isn’t worth it to avenge their family/partner. that’s not skylar.

* though she’s mostly closed-off she can be pretty decent with people. speaks in a business casual kind of way. like she’s always on and doesn’t allow herself to let loose.

* except for in the bedroom but we’re keeping it kinda pg in here.

* she’s kinda a gym freak though she does have to watch out for her shoulder. loves to be active. keep herself moving 24/7 even when she’s working.

* dick’s sporting goods isn’t what she considers an ideal job - she’d rather be at a stadium where the action is. like she finds the job just... okay. not in love, but also not in hate. but it helps pays the rent and bills so it’ll do for now.

[lesbian-peanut-writer]

No More Secrets

@tomurasprincess​ said: Congratulations on 500! Can I get Shigaraki, secrets, and omega verse? Smut please? 👀

Woohoo! First request for the event done and dusted. Thank you so much hun, I never thought I’d make it to 500 but I’m stoked that I have. I honestly have to thank you for throwing the Crusty Dusty Man my way, it was my first time writing for him and I honestly had a blast! I don’t think I should be allowed to write for him because I think I went a little feral in there somewhere. whoops... Well, without further delay here is your scenario and I hope I did the man justice. Enjoy and let me know what you think of it.

~Lesbian peanut

Word Count: 3322

“Where the hell is, she? It’s been three days since we last saw her and she’s been putting off joining us for movie night damn it!”

Tomura turned his head in the direction of the agitated voice, his eyes falling on Dabi’s back as he sat at the bar and mindlessly drummed his fingers against the wooden top. Tomura wasn’t known for his patience when it came to waiting on people, but the other Alpha was far more impatient than he was. He sighed as he hoisted himself up off of the beanbag he had been settled into for the past hour and strode across the room.

“Shigaraki, don’t tell me you’re abandoning us too…” Toga’s whiny voice cut through the air towards the Alpha as he headed towards the door.

“No idiot, I’m going to check on (Name). She’s been with us for a while but you know damn well how I found her.” He muttered as he looked over his shoulder at the rest of his pack.

Dabi hummed as he turned around on the bar stool before pushing himself off of it, moving over to sit beside Toga and pet her head. “He’s right, the little thing might just need some more time to adjust to being here with us.”

Tomura rolled his eyes as he pushed the door open and walked out of the front area of the hideout. The passageway leading down into the rest of the hideout was narrow and somewhat dark, it was the way that the Alpha liked it. He would never admit it to the rest of the pack but he was worried about you, it hadn’t exactly been the best circumstances he had found you under but he was glad he had found you when he did. You had been being harassed by a couple of so-called Alpha Heroes, you were much smaller than them and he had just happened to stumble across all of you at that exact moment. Something in the Alpha had snapped when he had heard your cry for help, safe to say society lost a couple of scumbag Heroes that day but you had been saved.

He scratched at his neck as he trudged down the passageway, the patch covering his scent gland was starting to irritate him and honestly, he wished he didn’t have to wear the damn thing. The bright white patch had caught his attention when he noticed it against your neck when he had brought you back to the hideout and so he had asked Kurogiri to acquire more for the rest of the pack to wear. Tomura wanted you to feel safe, if that meant he had to put up with the irritating feeling then he would endure it; for now. There had been a few members to complain about the change but Toga had been the one to talk, or rather threaten them into complying.

Tomura stopped dead in his tracks as a low-pitched whine reached his ears, his head snapping up and his eyes landed on the door to your room. His eyes narrowed as his instincts took over, his body moving without needing encouragement and he threw your bedroom door wide open. “(Name), what the hell…”

It hit him like a tidal wave, your scent washing over him as it burst out of your open door. It was powerful and overbearing, hard for the Alpha to ignore when it was so suffocating. Tomura’s eyes blew wide as he caught sight of you, spread out over your bed as your fingers pumped relentlessly between your thighs. Your back was arched up off the bed and you had your shirt gripped between your teeth in a pitiful attempt to silence your cries of pleasure. He knew he should have turned away, backed up out of your room and shut the door for good but the Alpha in him was entranced with the sight before him.

“Tomura…” His name slipped from your lips followed by a high pitched keen as you curled your toes.

His pupils slit as he stepped further into your room, his instincts urging him to go to your side as he let the door slip shut. “(Name)…”

Your head lolled to the left at the sound of his voice, your clouded mind giving you a moment's clarity as your eyes locked with his crimson ones. A needy whimper left your lips for him as you pumped your fingers harder, your slick pooling over your fingers as the thought of your Alpha watching you aroused you further. You didn’t care that he could see you, it didn’t matter that he could clearly smell you and it was too late to care about him knowing your secret. You wanted him, since the day he had saved you in that alley and brought you back to the hideout; thoughts of him as your Alpha plagued your mind constantly. Whines filled the room as you keened towards your Alpha, an invitation for him to join you; wanting nothing more than to have his hands on your body.

“Seems someone was keeping a secret…” Tomura hummed low as he extended a hand, pressing his palm against your stomach as he pushed your body back down onto the bed. He was careful in making sure that his thumb never touched your skin, despite how much his instincts were screaming for him to be rough with you; causing you actual pain wasn’t on his agenda. “An Omega here in the Den, that could have caused quite some problems.”

“M’ sorry…” You mumbled as you thrust your fingers roughly, curling them against your spot as you cried out in need.

“Perhaps, I can help you out there.” He rumbled, a low growl building in his chest as he let his eyes roam over your body and his fingers raked lower over your stomach.

“Please… please?” You pleaded as you rocked your hips up into his touch.

“Ask properly.” Tomura ordered as he removed his hand from your stomach, removing his shirt before throwing it to the other side of your room.

“Please, Alpha!”

A wicked smirk formed over Tomura’s face as he pushed his pants and boxers down, kicking them aside as they fell to his ankles. You watched him heatedly as you pumped your fingers harder, your eyes slipping down to his cock where it stood at attention and a soft whine slipped from your lips. He was thick, the bulge at the base of his dick causing slick to gush from your folds as you imagined what it’d be like to have him knotted inside of you. You reached a hand out for him as you pulled your right hand out from between your thighs, looking up into his eyes and freezing as you got caught in his primal gaze.

“Roll.”

There was no room for argument with that singular word, it held all the weight of the world as your Alpha commanded you to obey him. Your body moved on instinct, rolling over onto your stomach as you buried your head into your pillows. Slick was dripping from your folds, soaking into the sheets beneath you as your cunt clenched with the need to be filled. A cry was ripped from your throat as four fingers and a palm made contact with your left cheek, leaving a stinging sensation in their wake. You cooed when the bed dipped as he positioned himself behind you, his arm coming to snake around your stomach and his body pressed down against yours. The unnatural heat radiating off of his body, enveloped yours as the head of his cock pressed against your soaked folds.

“No more secrets, (Name).” Tomura’s voice was husky as he spoke the words, sending a violent shiver down your spine.

Tomura watched you as he ripped the patch off the side of his neck, throwing it aside as he let his scent roll off of him in waves and mix with your own. Inhaling deeply, his cock ached as the overwhelming aroma of your heat filled his senses, every fibre of his being calling for him to claim you there and then. He groaned as he rolled his hips forwards roughly, his cock sliding between your folds before prodding against your stomach. Your soft whimpers of need had his cock twitching as he continued his motion, rocking his hips forwards and getting faster with each thrust.

“Alpha, please…”

He smirked as you begged him, pulling his hips back as he moved from over you and sat back on his knees. Hungry eyes drank you up as he slid his hands down over your thighs, his pinkie fingers sticking out as he gripped your thighs harshly. Tomura pulled your body back, the head of his cock pressing between your folds and spreading them as he pushed into your soaked cunt. He groaned, bucking his hips at the heat that enveloped his throbbing member as he pushed deeper inside of you. Nails broke skin as fingers tightened against your thighs and he buried the head of his cock into your heat, pressing his deflated knot up against your folds.

You couldn’t contain the moan that left your lips as your cunt was stretched out around his cock, filling you to the point your Omega was content. Happy mewls sounded through the room as you clenched down around him, pulling a choked groan from your Alpha as his hips bucked in response to your action. Hips pulled back, causing you to whimper in protest as the head of his cock threatened to leave your aching cunt. You reached a hand back for Tomura only to be forced to grip the edge of the bed with it as he thrust his hips forward viciously, burying the length of his cock back inside your heat. Moans and whimpers fell from your lips as Tomura kicked up a steady pace, taking his time to find a rhythm that had your body rocking with each thrust.

Tomura relished in the sounds of your cries of pleasure, the hot moans spilling uncontrolled as he thrust his hips relentlessly. His Alpha was pleased with your responses, he watched you as he continued to bury his cock inside of your throbbing cunt and you drank him in with each thrust. Growls sounded from his throat as you buried your head into your pillows, your moans and whimpers becoming muffled by the material covering your mouth. He lunged forwards, pressing deeper inside of you as his fingers grasped roughly at your hair and yanked your head right back.

“No.” His voice was low and menacing as his lips pressed against your ear, his teeth grazing against your skin. “You will not hide from me; I want to hear you as I fuck you. I want to be able to hear how crazy I drive you, how much you need me and want me to fuck you senseless.”

Your eyes widened as you choked back a moan, back arching as you looked back at him and rocked your hips back in response. “Y-yes Alpha…” You whispered in response to his words, which despite sounding harsh; carried such gentle nature to them.

“Good girl, such a good Omega.”

You practically keened at the notion of his praise, his comments hitting right with your Omega as he spoke those precious words. Eyes fluttered closed as moans slipped past your lips, his hips moving harder as he continued to thrust into you and push your body ever closer to orgasm. Your eyes flew open as Tomura’s teeth sunk into your neck, biting down onto your scent gland as he moved his hips harder. A cry of pleasure made its way out of your mouth as you pushed your hips back against his, choking on a moan and his fingers dug deeper into your thigh.

He groaned as he thrust his hips harder and faster, his cock easily moving inside of your cunt with the aid of all your slick. Teeth chewed at your neck as he closed his eyes, his hand slipping from your hair and pressing into the mattress as he pushed your body lower to the bed. Tomura’s fingers slipped up along your thigh, his thumb tracing the inside of your leg as his hand moved towards your stomach. He sucked and chewed on your neck, marking you as his finger dipped between your folds and pressed against your clitoris. You cried out as your hips bucked into his hand, your walls clamping down around his cock as he thrust his hips harder and faster; quickening his pace.

Tomura wanted nothing more than to fuck you until you were left a drooling and whimpering mess, wanting you to beg him to stop. He wanted you to submit to him, both in body and in soul. There was nothing more fulfilling to an Alpha than to have the Omega he claimed as his own, than to have them whole-heartedly submit to their urges. His hips bucked harshly, his cock throbbing at the mere thought of having you submit to him completely. Tomura sunk his teeth deeper into your neck, the iron taste across his tongue no deterrent as he continued to chew on the spot.

Moans and whines were spilling from your lips uncontrolled as his hips connected with yours relentlessly. His knot began to inflate as it pressed against your folds, threatening to push inside of them and bury itself into your heat. You clenched around his throbbing cock as your hips bucked back, moving your hand down over your stomach before grabbing a hold of his where it was buried between your thighs. A moan was choked off as he pinched your clitoris, your eyes popping wide as you leaned into the bed further and pressed your breasts into the mattress firmly. Your hand dropped down to the bed, twisting the sheet between your fingers as heat pooled in the pit of your stomach.

“Alpha…” You whined as you turned your head to look back at him, thankful then he let go of your neck and licked his lips clean of your blood.

“Beg for it. (Name), I want you to beg for it.” He grunted as he moved his hips harder, his knot pressing against your folds firmer as he teased you with it.

“Please Alpha, please! Please, knot me Alpha! I need you to knot me, Please?” You begged, whimpering as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and threatened to spill over.

Tomura smirked as he moved both of his hands to your hips, his pinkies sticking up as he pulled his hips all the way back. Your pitiful whimper of need reaching his ears as the head of his cock sat nestled sweetly between your folds, keeping them spread but not enough for his Omega. He growled as he teased you by rolling his hips mere inches, pushing the head of his cock forward before pulling it right back to the entrance of your heat.

“Tomura, please? Please Alpha, I want you…” You whimpered as you rocked your hips back, trying to push the head of his cock deeper into your aching cunt. “I want you! Please knot me, my Alpha!”

His eyes flicked up to your face as a soft sound vibrated from your throat, the sound of pure submission as your body pressed into the mattress more and your hips raised more to meet his. That was it, you were his. “MINE!” He snarled as his fingers dug into your hips and his hips thrust forward harshly, pushing his cock into your soaked cunt before pushing his knot inside with a satisfying pop.

The cry that should have left your lips was strangled in your throat as your eyes blew wide and you threw your head back. You closed your eyes as Tomura picked up his brutal pace again, slamming into you as he pushed his knot deeper and you felt it catching with each thrust. Wanton moans and breathless pleas were all that left your lips as your stomach coiled tighter. You could feel his dick throbbing inside of you, his knot growing bigger as he continued to thrust his hips harder and faster.

Tomura ground his teeth, growling around them as he thrust his hips harder and his fingers dug deeper into your hips. His body pressed down over yours, his forehead coming to rest against the back of your head as he closed his eyes. He could smell how close you were to your orgasm; your scent was changing and your cunt was convulsing around his cock as it tried desperately to milk him for everything he had. Your lips failed to contain his name allowing it to spill from them in a loud cry as your body tensed up before spasming under him, your orgasm rocking through your body and clamping around his cock. He groaned as he thrust his hips viciously, his knot swelling until it was completely caught inside of you and he snarled as his orgasm hit. Teeth sank viciously into the back of your neck as his seed spilled forth into your womb, filling you as his cock throbbed violently.

Warmth filled your stomach as he came, his seed filling you as you rolled your hips lazily and your Alpha’s knot caught inside of you. The two of you lay there, your Alpha atop you as you panted heavily and found sanctuary being surrounded by his scent. It took time for Tomura’s knot to subside and return to normal, you shuddered when he released the back of your neck; pulling out of your body. You felt empty without your Alpha inside of you but you knew that there would be more to come from him, especially now that you were his!

Tomura smirked as he moved instantly, flipping you over onto your back as his hand wrapped around your throat and he pressed your body into the bed; his knees pressing heavily into your thighs. He could see the surprise in your eyes as they shot up to lock with his, your pupils blew wide as your heart accelerated.

“No more secrets, (Name).” He warned as he leaned in close to your face, his fingers tight to your throat as his pinkie hung precariously above your skin. “I won’t warn you again.”

The purr that left your lips wasn’t intentional, though it did take your Alpha by surprise enough for you to lean up and close the distance between your lips. You gave him a chaste kiss before dropping your head back into your pillows. “Yes Alpha, I promise.” You whispered in compliance as you smiled up at him.

Tomura huffed as he let go of your throat, diving down between your legs and lapping at your folds. He made sure to lick up all of your juices, cleaning you out thoroughly before sitting back and offering to take you for a hot bath. He thought you might like one to help your muscles relax and to feel a bit cleaner; you did not. You wanted nothing more than to lay in the arms of your Alpha, to have him hold you to his body and he was in no mind to deny you that request. You watched him as he rolled you onto your side and moved to lay down next to you. You hummed in content as he pulled you in close to his chest, his arms encircling your body as he buried his nose into the crown of your hair. He listened to you as you purred against his chest, he would let you rest for now because later he was going to fuck you all over this damn room. He smirked as he nuzzled your hair and closed his eyes, allowing himself to get lost in your scent; he was going to enjoy breaking you!

[theskywaslookingback]

You can’t just say that and Not tell us more about your oc’s 👀

(I started writing the response to this at work and it got uhhh long, sorry. Also I came home and then had to drive back to work to activate a keycard so you know...that's why this took like nine hours to post, sorry. And thank you both for asking!)

*shows up six hours late with Starbucks and a powerpoint presentation*

Welcome! Have a seat! We might be here for a while :3c

So like I guess about six years ago or so I started a pet project that I told my friends about calling it “the novel I’ll never write” which has spiraled out of control and now lives in my mind rent free but also refuses to be written down. (I even made a blog for it @thisisnotanovel and my friends and I call it tinan) It’s changed several times in the last few years as I’ve made plot changes and character changes but the basis remains pretty much the same.

“This Is Not A Novel” is not a novel about Alecsandyr “It’s Alec, asshole” Summers (who a friend once called Alex sand hair dryer and now I can’t stop calling him that in my head) who’s a mid-twenties burn out who lives with his mom, dropped out of college, and has severe anxiety and depression issues. While on a trip with his mom to visit his grandfather up in Alaska, he steals his stepfather’s car and tries to take it for a joyride. He crashes pretty spectacularly, and it’s literal luck that he survives the crash - though, if asked he wouldn’t call it luck, he’d call it a failed suicide attempt like he’s failed everything else in his life. Anyway he gets air lifted to a hospital and is put on life support.

Now, Alec’s mom is a piece of shit and she makes no secret that she hates her son and hates that he still lives with her and doesn’t want him around. She starts asking the doctors when they would know for sure if he’s going to make it and starts making funeral arrangements even before he gets out of surgery. (Syl, you might be saying, this isn’t how hospitals work. And my answer is that it’s my not novel and I get to make up what I want. I’ll do actual research if I decide to write it.) All of this gets the attention of Alec’s nurse, Dante Lebasque.

Dante is an older, sympathetic man (who in my mind version of this not novel as a not movie is Idris Elba) and he decides that if Alec does have to fully go on life support and if Alec’s mother decides to let him go then he’s going to do something about it. Because -and this is where my emo 2007 self comes into full spotlight- Dante is the head of a small vampire coven, so in order to preserve Alec’s life he decides to turn him into a vampire.

So imagine you’ve decided that you’re going to steal a car, okay? And that you’re going to drive that car off the side of a mountain. And there’s pain and then it’s dark...and then you wake up in a coffin. Because that’s how Alec’s shit goes down. He’s laying there, fully dressed in a suit he’s never worn, and somehow he can see? And he’s not breathing? And his heart isn’t beating? And he’s starving?? And of course he’s freaking out because he’s locked in a box of some kind and he has no clue where he is or why and then suddenly there’s shifting sounds and scraping metal and he’s blinking up at a solid black sky and the greenest eyes he’s ever seen and a deep voice saying “Took a bit longer than we thought. Welcome to the legion of the undead, kid.”

And that’s how we meet Richard Davis, like 100 years old but somehow also the most “new and with it” of the group. He is the hipster meme personified. He used to like Starbucks but now he’s really into this one coffee chain you’ve never heard of. He doesn’t listen to music, actually, just Gregorian chanting. His last living breath was probably saying “well, actually.” And he’s Alec’s guardian, the one who teaches him how to like, ya know, be a vampire. Alec calls him Dick.

Also at the graveside is an angel of a woman, wearing a white dress with bright curly red hair. The first thing Alec notices about her is that she’s barefoot. Her name is Erika Chambers and where Richard is blunt and impatient she’s kind and measured. She was turned by a different vampire and left to fend for herself and she killed a lot of people before killing her sire. When Dante found her she was practically feral and just looking to be taken out by a hunter. He helped her understand what was happening to her but let her decide if she wanted to stay. She did, and she’s never left.

Alec hates all of this. It’s a special hell to want to die and not be allowed to. He refuses to believe that Dante turned him for purely selfless reasons.

When Dante has meetings with the governing council, Alec finds a way to spy on him and overhear, which is how he learns that Dante’s coven was about to be absorbed into a larger one because it was too small and he needed more coven members. Alec is furious and tries to leave but Richard stops him and explains that fledglings can’t go anywhere without a guardian. Alec tries to fight Richard and loses.

Alec confronts Dante later and Dante admits that, yes, part of the reason he turned Alec was because he was about to lose his coven, but it was also because he didn't want to see a young life ended so soon blah blah blah.

So during that fight Alec totally forgets about this other part he heard between Dante and the council where they mention some concern about missing vampires from smaller covens that they haven't heard from in a while and Dante mentions that they were loners and they'll likely show up in a few years.

But alas! They have been murdered! By my favorite villain of all time, Ariadne Rosewood, who is a witch using immortal blood to keep herself immortal.

So you have Alec struggling with himself and his feelings of self worth and depression vs his struggle to trust those around him vs the larger villain that wants to kill them all.

And then we have such wonderful characters as: Karazeda Sloan, Erika's girlfriend and a vampire hunter born into the trade that kind of maybe wants to be a vampire herself. Dominic, the leader of the wolf pack that I added as a joke because I made Alec a furry and it infuriated my friends. Carolina Davenport and her girlfriend Ava Lopez with their coven of vampires, Blaise, Ambrose, and Cole.

So yeah!! Horribly long post and now to the actual joke of it:

(H)imbo - Dominic, because he's a big beefy wolfman with no braincells but much love in his heart

Mean Bisexual - Alec, because he's a bitch and I love him so much

Meaner Lesbian - Karazeda, because she's an even bigger bitch and I love her So Much

She/theys - Carolina and Ava

He/theys - Cole and Ambrose

Token Straight - Dante, but he's also ace so he gets a pass

Astrology Bitch - Erika, I bet she keeps everyones birth charts on the wall

Short King - Richard, 5'5" tiny motherfucker and the more he acts like a brat the shorter I make him. He used to be 6'2".

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[bitchybutcher]

Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:

-        Gird your loins

-        I’m dying to know more about Black Noir

-        Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral

-        It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse

-        WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL

-        Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin

-        Oh ok angry drunk Kevin

-        Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again

-        Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over

-        SAD HUGHIE OH NO

-        BILLY JOOOOOELLLL

-        Aw Kimiko is learning

-        Her lil smile

-        Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar

-        Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers

-        Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs

-        Oh nooooo young love angst

-        Oh no a Sad Kevin incident

-        Aaaaand he’s been arrested

-        A nice archer bailed him out

-        Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment

-        Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk

-        Oh fuck he is

-        What the FUCK, HOMELANDER

-        This visually impaired ninja seems nice

-        That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick

-        OH FUCK

-        Homelander what the fuuuuuck

-        Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel

-        WHAT

-        What the fuuuuuck

-        I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute

-        Oh shit smuggled people

-        Homelander is nuts with power

-        Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps

-        Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows

-        Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca

-        OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING

-        Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him

-        Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr

-        Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him

-        Stormfront seems like fun

-        She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already

-        OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED

-        I like Stan

-        Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs

-        I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else

-        Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better

-        BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS

-        “Daddy’s home”

-        I’m dead. It’s official.

-        The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead

-        OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING

-        Is he making shroom tea

-        Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful

-        Atrain is awake again that’s not good

-        I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills

-        Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy

-        Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend

-        I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling

-        Homelander is a terrible father

-        I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes

-        It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa

-        ….are the gang raiding a party city store

-        I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone

-        AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY

-        Oh shiiiiiiiit

-        Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE

-        You were right this season is weird

-        I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket

-        Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf

-        Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice

-        Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute

-        I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch

-        The kid’s a dandelion omg

-        Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?

-        I see what you mean about Homelander being scary

-        He’s completely insane

-        Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder

-        Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man

-        BLACK NOIR IS CRYING

-        Or possibly laughing

-        Hard to tell when they have no face

-        Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her

-        FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE

-        Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly

-        Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie

-        OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF

-        OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT

-        Oop there’s the laser eyes

-        Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out

-        OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE

-        Hughie don’t do it

-        Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat

-        Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something

-        Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics

-        Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!

-        He’s hopeless

-        Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin

-        OH FUCK A WHALE

-        For fuck sake Kevin

-        Ewwwww

-        Butcher what the fuck

-        Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale

-        No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood

-        Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question

-        Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale

-        ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick

-        OH NO

-        Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down

-        Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good

-        Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught

-        Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok

-        OH FUCK

-        ANNIE WHY

-        THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE

-        OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK

-        Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman

-        Poor Kimiko

-        What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?

-        Why is Frenchie taking drugs

-        FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING

-        What the FUCK is thiiiiis

-        Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish

-        Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger

-        I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is

-        MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit

-        I feel so bad for Annie

-        Ooooo Atrain getting fired

-        MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂

-        Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love

-        Vending machine date so cute

-        Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo

-        I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her

-        I feel bad for Butcher

-        Homelander is a scary good liar

-        Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions

-        OH FUCK

-        HE’S OUTED MAEVE

-        Poor Maeve what the fuck

-        Ugh Stormfront

-        Shut your racist hole bitch

-        Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath

-        Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help

-        MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode

-        Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck

-        Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY

-        Stormfront is like 70????

-        She’s really good with social media for an old bird

-        Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed

-        Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child

-        Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over

-        I FUCKIN KNEW IT

-        BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH

-        Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA

-        Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk

-        Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic

-        All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??

-        Also this most recent one is super weird

-        THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE

-        This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg

-        KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT

-        Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again

-        Doppelganger is really bad at flirting

-        ….

-        WHAT THE SHIT

-        Nonononono don’t do the selfcest

-        Not even Homelander is that fucked up

-        This is super weird

-        Why is Homelander crying

-        OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM

-        Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie

-        Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose

-        “Strong female lesbians”

-        Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get

-        I feel bad for Ashley

-        She just wants to do her job well

-        Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken

-        Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it

-        Oh no what’s he gonna do

-        BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT

-        I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still

-        There’s always a cut on the cheekbone

-        “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE

-        Aww he called Hughie his canary

-        Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?

-        KEVIN GOT MARRIED

-        BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE

-        Doggiiiiie

-        Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog

-        Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb

-        Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife

-        This is so cringe holy fuck

-        Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills

-        Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton

-        FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE

-        Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house

-        The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute

-        Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig

-        Why is there a sniper on the roof

-        Oh shit it’s Black Noir

-        Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend

-        Oh hey it’s dickless

-        These two writer dudes are hella irritating

-        Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit

-        Yes Maeve scheme against his ass

-        Heartbroken Butcher is so tired

-        He needs a hug

-        Hughie give Butcher a hug please

-        Why is Kimiko in a church

-        Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend

-        Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair

-        The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”

-        Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko

-        Oh fuck off Cult Kevin

-        Stormfront again?????

-        Does this bitch ever fuck off

-        DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE

-        Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech

-        This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it

-        OH FUCK

-        That’s a lot more murder than I expected

-        Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming

-        Ashley is gonna go bald from stress

-        I adore grumpy Butcher

-        Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her

-        Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown

-        BOBBY FROM X-MEN????

-        Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good

-        Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good

-        BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE

-        Oop Lenny is dead

-        The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps

-        Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone

-        YES MM

-        OH NO MM

-        YES HUGHIE

-        Oh fuck did he KO Butcher

-        Shiiiit shit shit shit

-        Yes Butcher save your Hughie

-        Oh good they all survived

-        For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit

-        Maeve please save Kevin from the cult

-        Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it

-        There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum

-        What the fuck is Sage Grove

-        Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks

-        Oh fuck no not Homelander again

-        Uhhhhhhh

-        Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting

-        These two have the WEIRDEST relationship

-        They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they

-        Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough

-        Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw

-        Ohhh the chip

-        “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW

-        Oh fuck that’s a big chip

-        Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream

-        Well that’s suitably gross

-        Aww Kimiko hugging Annie

-        Butcher is so menacing I love him

-        Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute

-        NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT

-        Kimiko with her brass knuckle

-        Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD

-        Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone

-        OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO

-        What the fuck is going on at this hospital

-        OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER

-        Oh shit who got let out

-        What does Cindy do

-        OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER

-        Aaaaaaand now they’re all out

-        Good job, guys

-        Ewwwwww acid vomit

-        OH NO HUGHIE

-        Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??

-        What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that

-        Aha Butcher agrees with me

-        Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set

-        Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?

-        Atrain get outta there

-        This cult leader guy is an arsehole

-        Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game

-        Awwww flashbacks to happy times

-        Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair

-        Welp, Annie just killed a guy

-        Oh shit a baby seat

-        Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now

-        Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident

-        So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing

-        Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it

-        Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she

-        Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him

-        Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt

-        Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane

-        Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?

-        Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa

-        She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY

-        Oh fuck the head burster is still alive

-        A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice

-        I hate Annie’s mom so much

-        Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie

-        Butchers mum called him 😂😂

-        Oh shit his dad died

-        Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn

-        Oh boy a racist rally

-        Homelander just threw Annie under the bus

-        Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk

-        And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed

-        BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE

-        Oh shit it’s Denethor

-        And he’s not dead

-        Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?

-        Shit Lenny shot himself

-        Butcher was SAS???

-        WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM

-        Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid

-        I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard

-        Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language

-        Is this a cult birthday party?

-        Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated

-        Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?

-        Good for him

-        I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice

-        11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me

-        Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself

-        Poor Hughie

-        Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter

-        Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!

-        HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE

-        YAY MAEVE

-        Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness

-        Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life

-        Well Maeve did, technically. But still

-        Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom

-        Hughie and Annie are too cute

-        Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything

-        HAHA SUCK IT BECCA

-        OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE

-        Butcher in his lil jumper

-        For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY

-        Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas

-        And typical

-        The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them

-        And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy

-        I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches

-        Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice

-        Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink

-        She’s not wrong

-        Oh fuck off Becca

-        Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult

-        Oop Atrain overheard all of that

-        Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress

-        The kid is gonna have a meltdown

-        Poor Hughie with his mom leaving

-        I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun

-        ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE

-        Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute

-        What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit

-        Ahahaha the news broke

-        Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander

-        OH SHIT

-        MM BETTER BE OK

-        Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying

-        WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING

-        It’s adorable but still

-        Oh FUCK she snapped her neck

-        She’ll be fine

-        She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down

-        AYYYYY MAEVE

-        The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh

-        Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye

-        Huh. The kid melted Stormfront

-        Good for him

-        AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO

-        BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA

-        I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked

-        Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German

-        This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to

-        Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7

-        Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again

-        See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults

-        Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft

-        Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all

-        The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”

-        Aww happy endings for all the boys

-        Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it

-        Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise

-        HIS HEAD BURST

-        Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused

-        Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am

-        Hughie getting a real job, bless him

-        Too bad it’s with the head burster

-        Oh this is such a good song to end the season with

-        Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess

-        Should I sleep or find fic to read

-        Body says sleep, heart says fic

-        That’s a lie, heart says Butcher

-        ….Butcher fics it is

[hughiecampbelle]

I think I wrote my ask for the 5k event wrong, sorry.

Here's my resubmission,

I'm a female who is a lesbian who would like to be shipped with someone from Titan's, please.

I am 5'2 with blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. I'm shy, quiet, kind, sweet and thoughtful, although I can be clumbsy at times. I'm 23. I like people who are kind, generous, helpful, trustworthy, patient, and sincere. I like reading, writing, and playing with my cats, as well as playing video games, and sitting outside in the sun. My favorite video game is The Last of Us 2. My favorite tv shows are Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra. One of my favorite movies is Howl's Moving Castle. Also, my favorite bands are PVRIS and Paramore.

Thank you for hosting <3

What trope are you? Office Romance 💕

Well, sort of. Of course Kory doesn't work in an actual office, but you two work together. You were the first one Dick came to when he was putting together a team. You couldn't say no to him, even when you knew this might not be the best idea. You joined him in looking for Donna and the rest, teasing him along the way of how much he resembled Bruce when he spoke of teamwork and the next generation. From the moment you met her, Kory caught your eye in a way no one else had. She was funny and beautiful and could kick ass like no one's business. You'd never met anyone like her. She was quick with her wit and charming, too. You thought you could ignore your feelings, that friendship was enough, but that never goes the way anyone thinks.

You and Kory spend a lot of time together. When the team splits up and you go your separate ways, it's you and her who are together. You're inseparable, spending every moment together. It's there she learns of your favorite video games and shows. She swears she's not into either, but you totally catch her quoting Zuko when someone says anything stupid. A few times you've caught her watching streams about The Last of Us and even though she pretends not to, you know she's watching you play late at night. She's unconditionally kind, and only teases you a little when you you stay up too late and regret it the next morning. She's always there to catch you when you're clumsy, which leaves you absolutely flustered, so much so you're speechless. Everyone could see your feelings for her went far beyond friendship, but you didn't want to ruin what you had. You feared that the team split up once, it was bound to happen again. You and Kory could work together, but even that wouldn't last forever.

It's not until you're together again and facing off with Jason that you realize, if you were to lose her in any way, she'd know how you felt. There wasn't safety in the hero title anymore. Your group was falling apart. No one was safe. No one was off limits. Everyone is scared, and sad, mourning someone who only wants to hurt you. It's not a good time, but is there ever such a thing? You and Kory trying to figure out his next move, his next trick, when you blurt it out. It's not romantic, at least not the way you planned, but when you say the words out loud you feel an immediate relief. At first she's not sure how to react. It feels as if everything is happening all at once. You ready for the worst, for your declaration to be turned down as nicely as possible. Instead she leans across the counter towards you, trying hard to stifle her laugh. What's so funny? Is the thought of you together so crazy it's laughable? She assures you, it's not that. When she finally catches her breath, she tells you she's been waiting forever for you to say this. She's felt the same way since you met, she just didn't have the courage. Besides, Dick told her how you felt ages ago, she just wanted you to make the first move.

~ I hope you like it Kit!! Xoxoxo💜💖💜💖💜💖💜

[gothmedia]

Movie Review: My Summer as a Goth

”If you don’t care what people think, why did you just ask me what I thought?” Overview and Plot My Summer as a Goth is a crowd funded movie directed by Tara Johnson-Medinger. It stars Joey, a morose teen who constantly talks about her dead dad and gets angry when other people talk about her dead dad. Since her mother is a prolific author set to do a book tour, Joey is shipped about 45 minutes out of town to her grandparents' house for the summer. There she becomes interested in the neighbor boy, an even more sullen teen called Victor. Victor notices Joey's interest and whisks her away into the world of goth summer romance. In terms of production, very nice looking film. Professional. I liked that the beginning of the movie looked very washed-out and reflected the mood well, getting warmer as the summer went on. I also loved the texting graphics. The movie was well-paced and a good length, however the passage of time in the movie was a bit odd. VERY soon after the movie says summer starts it’s the Fourth of July, then again only a short time later everyone’s talking about how the summer is almost over. Joey even gets mad at her mother in one instance for not being available in time, but it seems like the mother responded back in about a day while Joey makes it out that it took weeks. The in-movie passage of time was very confusing for me. Most of the characters were well-written with some hiccups mostly on the grandparent’s and Antonio’s end. Costume design was on-point. Sound was fine and the music choices throughout were wonderful. Overall, the film had really good production value.

Moving into spoiler territory, Joey’s grandparents are a ride as they swing from giving Joey hundreds of dollars and baking her pot brownies to telling at her she can’t stay out late and that she needs an exorcism. Antonio, a punk, starts the movie off by getting into a fist fight with Victor, but later becomes a loveable member of the cast. We meet Cob and Pen, the “goth swan couple”. They’re Victor’s friends and a breath of fresh air; despite having morose interests they’re very bubbly and outgoing. I wish more of the movie had them in it. They along with Victor decide to give Joey a makeover and invite her to a few different events over the summer including a silent disco in a graveyard, a party at Pandora’s house, and a concert. They also go on a camping trip with Joey, her grandparents, and one of Joey’s high school friends. Eventually, Joey gets annoyed with Victor’s constant toxic attitude and finds out he’s cheating on her. Everything’s fine in the end as the summer comes to a close and she goes back to school with Antonio as her new boyfriend and her new, darker look.

Joey the babybat has daddy issues. In the beginning Joey feels acts catty and defensive about everything. Don’t worry, she never really grows out of that. Pretty much everything about her revolves around either the fact that her father is dead or her relationship with Victor. She does have an art hobby that’s shown throughout the movie but she seems almost embarrassed by it? It’s never actually brought up by any characters and no one ever looks through her sketchbook or shows interest in it. Which I found really odd because a lot of the goths I know in real life tend to be pretty creative and would love it? Anyway, she falls head-first into goth because of a boy. I know that’s how some people get into the subculture, but it kind-of sours the movie because it seems like she also only stays in the subculture because of the boy. In the beginning she mentions liking the music and how it helps her express how she feels inside, but other than Victor, we really don’t get to see how she thinks about the subculture. She’s friends with Cob and Pen because they’re Victor’s friends. She goes to events because Victor goes. She dresses up because Victor wants her to. But once Victor is out of the picture, why does she stay? Other than the passing mention of music at the beginning, she really has no interest in the goth scene. She’s never shown engaging with the scene on her own terms, and I find that a little disappointing. When I was a babybat I was reading goth blogs like Stripy Tights and Dark Delights, I was trying to get my hands on back issues of Gothic Beauty, I was watching a ton of different youtubers talk about the scene and I just wanted more. There’s none of that with Joey save for a short scene where she watches tutorials on how to do her hair and make-up. (Which, admittedly was really cute.) I didn’t understand WHY Joey stays a goth at the end of the movie and I think it’s because the movie really didn’t portray the positive aspects of the subculture as much. Also, Joey needs to work on her attitude problem. She mentions her dead dad quite a bit at the beginning and gets upset when other people mention it back to her. At the end of the film she calls her mom over heartbreak and when her mom tries to talk about it with her, she acts sarcastic and shuts her mother out, getting mad that she reached out at the wrong time. I’m unsure if it was just Joey going back to her old coping strategies or if she was in the right because I have no idea how much time had passed since the phone call. I’ll never know. Either way, she does dump Victor which is nice and she reconciles with her mother as well. I do like that she feels more comfortable with herself at the end of the movie and begins doing things on her own terms, even if others don’t “get it”. Victor is a VERY well-written, manipulative dick.  Storytime! So, there weren’t many goths at my college and we never really had any classes together, but I remember seeing this one kid walking across the street to the art buildings with a flowing black velvet cape over their backpack, an unlaced black poet shirt, platinum white hair in a side-hawk, knee-high black leather boots and a TON of silver jewelry. Honestly, they would have looked so cool if their harem pants weren’t made of chiffon and completely see-through. (Batman boxers!) Seeing Victor for the first time immediately reminded me of that. Over the top, charming, charismatic and a bit silly. I liked him at first. His wit is dry and in the beginning he didn’t take himself of the subculture TOO seriously, making jokes about vampires. I liked that he seemed to be having fun chatting about music and dressing up Joey. And then there came the lipstick. Honestly, the lipstick was used absolutely perfectly to show how the relationship is souring and how manipulative Victor really is. It really is a gradual showing of how things are going south in their relationship and how Victor isn’t as much as a downcast victim as he puts on. Later on in the movie he starts reminding me of that Bruiser sketch where there’s two goths and one of them is just badgering the other one that he can’t take his sweater off in the summer or join in on seasports because it’s “not goth”. He begins chastising Joey for not looking perfect at all times or not knowing things about the subculture despite the fact that he just dresses her up and brings her to parties instead of actually trying to integrate her to the local scene or teaching her about music or history. Eventually he goes back to hooking up with Pandora, something he apparently does frequently because Joey is not the first person he’s cheated on and literally everyone in town warns Joey about it. Victor clearly has a massively inflated ego and you love to hate him in the end. There are definitely his type in goth scenes around the world and I can see how he stays in good graces with the other asshole friends he has. Some people just really like being elitists. The one thing I can’t figure out, though, is why Pen and Cob are friends with him. They’re so nice compared. A punk by jacket only and why casual homophobia makes me salty. Antonio is... hoo boy, is he a thing. First introduced starting a fight with Victor you think, "Ah, this is the antagonist of the movie. I wonder why they made the punk an asshole? Usually punks are okay with goths." Luckily for us, he apologizes for the outburst and becomes a friend of the main cast. We learn he likes canasta and plays guitar. Oddly, he doesn't seem to have any punk patches or pins on his jacket and never actually mentions punk music. He does, however, mention goth music and he seems familiar with the other goths in town going to their events, so it seems he's on good standing with them despite bullying the goths at the beginning of the film. Seeing as goths would rather pretend to be haughty vampires than get their tail coats in a twist, Antonio makes for a heroic figure in the movie when Joey is in trouble. In my notes I wrote, "Ten bucks says punk kid is gonna save her,” and lo and behold, Antonio comes out of nowhere to save Joey from some bullies. I do like that he uses his rough appearance to his advantage to help people and do the right thing. That pretty accurately describes every punk I’ve ever met. They look tough as nails, but you’ll only see that side of them if you absolutely deserve to.

It's also revealed that Antonio is not straight as he's seen making out with some guy at a concert, mentions having had a previous relationship with Victor, and is being made fun of for being gay in the end. He also ends the film by being Joey's boyfriend. Pardon, what? I'm kind-of tired of this heteronormative nonsense where movies have to end with all main characters (Sans the villain, of course.) end up in a happy straight relationship. Joey's non-goth friend who's in the movie for a very short amount of time also ends up with a goth boyfriend because happily-ever-after and all that. It probably wouldn't have sat as poorly with me if they didn't make fun of Antonio for "looking gay" which in context makes no sense since he's pretty gender conforming compared to the goth men in the film. It also didn’t help that there were comments about lesbians at the beginning of the movie. At one point Joey's grandparents suggest she might like girls and Joey rebukes it with vitriol saying her grandparents are "too cool". The same kind of vitriol you hear when a straight person tells you they could never imagine being gay, that's disgusting. Oh, but they support your "choices", hm? I just wish Antonio’s character was a bit more fleshed out and he didn’t end up being back-up male love interest that’s only there to save female lead from bad guys and heartbreak.  First rule of Goth Music is you don’t talk about Goth Music? The movie introduces goth along with music. The music in the film is honestly really good and a good portrayal of what goths actually listen to. Joey mentions she likes the music near the beginning and she goes to events such as a silent disco, a party, and a concert. Despite music obviously being a major source of community in the movie, no one actually talks about it other than that one instance of Joey mentioning she likes it. No one suggests bands to her or actually goes to the parties or concerts to do anything other than make out. The silent disco is the only real instance of them listening and dancing to the music and it feels like it's over in a flash. Though, the corny goth dance moves in that scene kind-of make up for it. At one point Antonio pulls out a guitar and asks if Joey wants him to play “Bela Lugosi’s Dead”. She mentions she’s never heard of it which leads Antonio to ask if she’s new to the scene. At another point in the party, Joey asks someone if they like Marylin Manson. While this is an obvious faux pas to anyone actually in the goth scene, no one actually engages with her in conversation about it. How was Joey supposed to know his music isn’t goth? Wasn’t she listening to goth music earlier at the silent disco? Or the music she said sounded pretty from Victor’s room when they met? How did she get this far liking these bands but not noticing that they sound nothing like Marylin Manson and did she never look them up on her own to listen to them later? She obviously likes them, so it really surprises me that she only got in the goth scene for a guy.

Robert Smith NEVER has smeared lipstick. /s The emphasis on appearance is a little annoying throughout the movie, but I guess it had to be. It fits Victor's personality to change Joey's personal style to match his, and the makeover scene was fun, but I wish there would have been more diversity in the cast of townie goths who attend the parties, concerts, and discos. I counted one person with blonde hair and a small handful of older goths. I didn't notice any non-white goths and unfortunately the movie placed quite the emphasis on pale skin and trying to avoid tanning. I know people like the white face along with dark make-up and looking vamp-ish, but when all your characters are in white greasepaint and there's no PoC to be seen in goth garb it sends a message that only white people can be goth and that's really something we need to kill in the subculture. I did, however, like the wardrobe choices. I liked that Joey got her wardrobe from a thrift store and that she dyed a top she already owned. She looked up tutorials on how to do her hair and make-up and it never looked perfect. That's a good thing. Baby Bats won't know how to do a bats nest hairstyle, they won't know to blend foundation to the neck, and they won't have a perfect eyeliner wing. No one mentioned alt-brand name clothing and no one had a perfectly couture outfit that media likes to sell as a stereotypical goth teenager. The goths actually looked like goths. Their wardrobes were things you'd actually see in a club and we get to see that they wear a plain black tank top and shorts when milling about the house, only breaking out the corsets and top hats for big events. The older goths were more well put together and that makes sense because they've been in the subculture longer and have had time to figure out what they like and what looks good on them. The costuming department did a really great job with this. Ah, but as a side note about wardrobe, who donates brand new, tall Docs to a thrift store??? You can’t sit with us. And sadly, the worst part of Goth in the movie- community. What was that, film? Other than the three main goths, we only get to see other goths at large events and they all seem a bit catty? You have the silent disco, which was cute but no one really spoke to or interacted with each other. Pen and Cob are kind-of doing their own thing throughout no matter who they’re with. We also have the house party and the concert. The other goths there are.... pretty much just there to be judgy because Joey’s new? The first time I went to a club in a new city and didn’t know anyone some random person grabbed my hands and dragged me to the dancefloor. It was fun! People would ask the DJ what he was spinning and they weren’t shamed for not knowing. If someone’s jacket ripped, five people would come out of the woodwork with a safety pin and afterwards we’d all pile into Denny’s and laugh and joke and talk about nothing. I’m not saying there’s no “Gothier-than-Thou” types, believe me I’ve met more than a few, but in a movie that’s trying to portray someone WANTING to become a goth, why not portray the subculture as more inviting? Also, with the comments from Victor and a few other remarks, it seems like alcohol is needed to blend into the goth scene, and that definitely isn’t the case. Sure, a lot of us love absinth or a snakebite in black, but it’s not needed to fit in with the cool kids at the club. The community really is my favorite thing about this subculture and I feel it was a disservice that most goths were showcased as uninviting. I can understand Joey not being wanted at the party initially as she wasn’t invited in the first place and perhaps the eldergoths in the room didn’t want to have to have an impromptu etiquette and history lesson with a babybat when they’re supposed to be relaxing, but the point of the movie was to showcase why Joey wants to be a goth. She never makes friends outside of Victor’s immediate group and never tries to find community or information about the scene online or anything. I guess that is how babybats do act a lot of the time, but again, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, the point of the movie is showing why someone would WANT to be a goth.  Final Thoughts. The goth scene in the movie looked like a regular goth scene. I liked the emphasis on thrifting and DIY and that newcomers don’t come out of the womb knowing the lyrics to the entirety of Floodland. The music was phenomenal. I liked that the music featured was goth music, but not the main five bands that everyone already knows. I liked that the events attended were focused mainly around music. I liked seeing actual goth dance moves on screen. I liked that people in the movie did use terminology found in the subculture and made jokes about the subculture that insiders would actually make. I liked that Pen and Cob were wonderfully peppy despite their dark interests, I liked that we got punk-goth solidarity. I liked that it did remind me a bit of my babybat years and got me missing clubs and events. I miss all my friends... I really do...

I was put off by the passage of time in the movie, Joey’s cattiness with anyone who tries to help her, the light and casual homophobia sprinkled in, and the negative-leaning portrayal of the goth community. Other than that, though, I did think it was a good movie with a satisfying ending and I would really suggest people check it out. It’s probably the most accurate portrayal of goths in any media, really, and it’s worth a watch. At the very least, go listen to the soundtrack on BandCamp.