#like don't take this the wrong way i'm feeling great. loads better than yesterday. but damn man this is a lot at once O_o

[iwonderwh0]

One more scene for this out-of-body fic idea. This one is (almost) directly following the one started here

It was decided that when it comes to Hank going to sleep, a phone with Connor will be left in the garage, right next to the washing machine set for the longest cycle of two and a half hours. Additionally Hank promised to leave a working fan to maintain the noise present once the washing machine finished its job.

That was the plan.

What it didn't account for was the fact that Hank would need to actually do the laundry and all the laundry-related tasks, and to his own regret, he decided that it was a great occasion to finally wash all the bedding - a chore consisting of (as he realised a little too late) the most tedious tasks. Tasks such as: unbuttoning and removing all the pillowcases, sheets, duvet cover and replacing them all with new ones by going through the miserable process of searching for the replacement bedding in a closet, fitting all the pillows into according pillowcases, buttoning them back on and the worst of it all – fitting the comforter into a new duvet cover. This was too much work. He could have simply loaded the washing machine with the content of laundry basket and call it a day. That's what he should have done. Now it was too late.

He lay down on a bare bed and stared at the ceiling as the pile of removed bedding frowned at him from the corner of his eye. He tried to pretend it wasn't there, ignore it, but he could still feel it taking up space -- both mental and physical -- even with his eyes closed. This knowledge alone filled him with the kind of dread only the tedious unfinished tasks could induce. Tasks like making an appointment at the doctor's office or cancelling a subscription he didn't remember having, reminded him of it only by a weekly junk-mail. Tasks that are easy to do, but much more tempting to just ignore. Let them pile up and rot.

"I forgot how much I fucking hate laundry," Hank grumbled, cutting through the silence of the last couple of minutes.

"I thought you hate doing the dishes," Connor said.

"I hate doing laundry and the dishes. But if I had to choose, I'd rather do the dishes."

"I'm sorry. I would help you if I could."

Something about sincerely apologetic tone of android's voice annoyed Hank and he scoffed.

"Sure you fucking would."

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Yes. It doesn't fucking matter."

Hank pressed his palms against his face and sighed.

"Fuck...This is embarrassing," he said and instantly winced from realisation of saying it out loud - something he didn't intend to do.

"Laundry?"

Hank huffed and applied more pressure to his palms, seeing colourful spots appearing at his fake vision of closed eyes.

"Yeah. Laundry."

"Is the process of laundry embarrassing in itself or is it-"

"-Connor. Just stop, okay?"

Connor got quiet, but only for a moment.

"You know, you don't have to do it today," he said.

"That's what I told myself yesterday. And...Shit, I don't even remember when was the last time I did it. And now I already took the sheets and covers out..."

"So you're already half way there, much closer than yesterday, right? You can do it tomorrow morning."

Hank didn't feel like arguing and insisting on doing something he already subconsciously decided not to do, so he agreed. He abruptly thought if android tried to use reverse-psychology on him to make him finish making the bed now, but if that was the case -- Hank thought -- he should have known better than to do it like this.

"Tomorrow it is, then. I'm not doing it."

He took his hands off his face and stared at the pile of removed bedding. The sight of it was nauseous. He turned to his side and looked at the phone laying on the other side of the bed instead.

"What about you? What are you doing exactly? I'm sure you're not only here talking to me."

"Correct. But I try to focus on my audio input the most, so what I'm doing on the background is not so important."

"You can still tell me about it," Hank turned to his back.

"You want me to talk about what I'm doing?"

"Couldn't be more clear than that."

Connor made a noise - something between a surprise and content.

"It's not much, there isn't enough computing power for me to use, so mostly I'm just surfing through text articles. For example, when you mentioned hating laundry, I tried to find something that might change your perspective on it. I found that there's a music album named 'Laundry Service' released on November 13, 2001 - the same day the President of the United States signed an executive order allowing military tribunals against foreigners suspected of terrorist acts as part of the war on terror following the September 11 attacks."

"Wow," Hank elongated the word and shook his head, "I must admit, it does indeed change my whole perspective on laundry."

He chuckled at his own joke reaching the phone to move it closer.

"Is it something you only do now or..," Hank started.

"No, I've been also doing it before."

"Ah, I get it. Can't be entertained by a conversation only. Can't blame ya. I'd probably do the same if I had a computer for a brain to do this kind of shit unnoticed."

"It's not about my level of entertainment and more about not being familiar with some of the cultural references I may encounter. I can't know it all, Hank."

"Right. I keep forgetting how little you've been around. Of course you'd search things up... didn't come out of the box with all this nonsense installed."

"Technically I've never been in a box."

"Yet."

"I'm not sure what's that supposed to mean. Is this a joke about coffin?"

Hank laughed.

"What? No. Actually, I don't know what I was thinking. Probably just imagined you in a big cardboard box or something."

"Why would I be in a cardboard box?"

"I don't know, why would you be in a coffin?"

"I don't know, you said my body looks like a corpse in your living room."

"Connor, fuck...Do me a favour and shut the fuck up!"

The awkward silence filled the room. Once again Hank got painfully aware of the pile of sheets, but this time it looked more like an excuse than anything else. He rose from the bed and grabbed the pile on his way to the door. He was halfway through the threshold when he got stopped by the sound of his name. He froze.

"I won't say anything. Please, don't leave me alone in silence."

Hank felt a heavy knot forming in his stomach. He swallowed and turned back around.

"Of course not. Wasn't going to."

He returned to the bed to pick up the phone, then walked to the garage, loaded the washing machine, closed the door, and stared at it blankly. It seemed like he had forgotten something, but the silence-induced noise was too loud in his ears to remember whatever it was. He started the washing machine, gave it another glance, and returned to the bedroom where he collapsed onto the bed. After a few moments he realised that he had returned with his phone in his hand. He was squeezing it tightly, still. It had been quiet the entire time, and for a moment, Hank wondered if he could accidentally turn it off without even noticing. The thought sent a surge of panic down his spine, and he swiped his finger to unlock the phone. The screen lit up with CyberLife program still up and running. Thank god. He let out a sigh of relief and sank into the matress, setting the phone aside.

"Connor?"

There was no response.

Hank burried his face deeper into the pillow. He felt sick. Without meaning to, he accidentally remembered what it was he had forgotten -- aside from leaving the phone in the garage with a fan, which had been a rather conscious decision-- washing detergent. He hadn't used it at all.

"Connor," he tried again.

After a few seconds phone buzzed in response.

"Listen, you can talk if you want."

The room remained silent.

Hank turned to his side and unlocked the phone. He wasn't sure why, probably just to see CyberLife screen again, to make sure it was still there. He looked at it for a few seconds, then locked the phone back.

"I'm sorry" was what he meant to say. What he wanted to say. What he said instead was "Say something, damn it!"

It came out wrong. Agressive. Not the way he intended it, again.

"Goodnight, Hank," Connor said.

It was something. Sharp and short. Hank let another sigh out - both from frustration and relief.

"Goodnight, Connor."

[mlobsters]

supernatural s10e4 paper moon (w. adam glass)

(ps apparently i didn't actually finish e3 yesterday, i still had a little scene left. but i glanced down when copying out the transcript to get the dean and cas convo bits and didn't see any more dialogue so i was like okay, see ya. so, noted, new evil beautiful red haired lady to fill up the abaddon shaped hole)

exCUSE ME what are those sunglasses??? cringing and laughing. are those someone else's glasses they just plonked on jared's face? it looks like there's a prescription?? dying.

listen. jared, baby, i am so sorry they did this to you and now i'm wheezing over it

(wiki)

In the scene by the river, Sam is wearing Prada Wayfarer sunglasses and Dean is wearing Oakley Holbrook.

prada???? sam. in prada sunglasses

DEAN Hey, something I needed to ask you. SAM Shoot. DEAN You've been... kicked, bit, scratched, stabbed, possessed, killed... And you sprain your friggin' elbow?

when in reality how is he not constantly recovering from surgery/stab wounds/being shot by bela etc 🤪

very cute. it's been a while since we had a scenic drink and chat! went for a whopper of a view too

DEAN Seriously, I'm good. I am. You know, we got… Three more cases of this stuff on ice in the trunk. Taking some ‘we time.’… best decision we ever made.

*studio audience awwww's* "we time" huh. werewolves gonna crash the honeymoon?

SAM Hear that.

god that just makes me think about

s5e10 abandon all hope this sweet and funny moment that could have started a fight but no one got mad

DEAN Sam Winchester, having trust issues with a demon. Well, better late than never. SAM Thank you again for your continued support.

and jo and bobby and ellen and....

🥲

all right. we time with extremely questionable sunglasses. let's go. oh, honeymoon too boring, the mark still got him stabby feeling.

DEAN Look, Sam, what we're doing here, it's good, okay? You and me hanging out. But I need to work… I need this. SAM If things go sideways... I mean, like, an inch, you gotta give me the heads-up.

sam, the real "we time" would be the werewolves we kill along the way. oh i do have a hazy idea of something that happens when he must still have the mark. i bet it involves not telling sam when he's going sideways :P

SAM Guess she likes bad boys. DEAN Well, wait’ll she gets a load of us.

LOL okay, dean. feelin himself. splitting up when sam is down his dominant arm seems not great, especially at night when he needs a flashlight. needs a headlamp :p

ahh, kate, the werewolf from the found footage episode (s8e4). i gather that was quite unpopular? i liked it fine

oh my god a like, full episode recap so we can dredge up the memory of lester that was what, 2 episodes ago? lol. wow this is some kind of conversation

SAM You're serious? This is about Lester? DEAN Um, don't get me wrong. I'm not -- I'm not -- I'm not trying to start anything either, okay? I'm just saying, maybe... maybe we oughta talk about that. SAM Okay, except there's nothing to talk about. DEAN Okay. SAM Okay. DEAN I just figured, since we're opening up veins that maybe you'd want to talk about the guy who you made sell his soul. SAM The guy who you then killed, right? I mean, that's the same guy we're talking about? DEAN I was a demon. SAM Oh, you were a demon? Oh, I didn't realize that.

made me laugh. tell him, sam!

DEAN Hey, man, Lester was gonna pay for that soul shake sooner or later. So technically, it's still on you. SAM What do you want from me, Dean? Look, I w-- I'm not happy about it, okay? But I needed to find you. So if I had to... bend a few rules...

this is cracking me up. sam's like damnit dean, usually we just ignore this and move on and never address it again. shove it down. you know???

DEAN Go dark. SAM Go dark. Sure. Label it if you want.

now that got another laugh. ugh kids and their labels

DEAN Look, man, again, I'm not complaining, okay? In fact, I'm doing just the opposite of complaining. I... I just... You know, between Lester and the others... SAM There weren't others. DEAN Okay, either way, maybe we both needed that time off. DEAN This is good. This is good. SAM Yeah. Okay.

is our impromptu therapy session over? 😂 dean what are you doing? haha. was that all just a deflection so they wouldn't talk about his issues?

KATE Don't! She's my sister.

snorted. a murderous sibling, oh, the moral dilemma!

SAM Yoga? DEAN [mocking] Okay. KATE You laugh, but... I'll pretty much try anything to keep that side of me under control.

*staring at camera*

feel a little bad laughing at all these things but when they start hitting me over the head with a point/parallel to the boys i just can't

SAM So back at the barn, that was all just an act to protect Tasha? KATE She's family. And, yeah, worth eating a bullet for.

dying for her so she can continue killing other people too! lol. normal sibling behavior

DEAN Kate and Tasha are monsters, okay? Last I checked, we kill monsters. SAM Right, but how can you possibly blame Kate for fighting for her sister? We do it all the time.

mmhm

DEAN Well, yeah, and that's worked wonders for us. SAM Well, we're still here, aren't we? DEAN Yeah, but is it right? I mean, all that you've done for me, I've still got this Mark. SAM And we'll figure that out. We always do. But you can't take whatever's happened to us or to you and -- and dump it at these girls' feet. DEAN All right, so, what? You wanna nuance this thing? Hit me. What's your plan?

look at all of this impressive communication. impromptu therapy session #2 in the books

SAM Okay. Then, um... I gotta tell you something. I, uh... I lied about Lester. DEAN What? SAM There were others. DEAN Other humans? SAM No. No, no. And -- and I'm sure there were a few hunters I rubbed -- or I... punched the wrong way, but...No. I pretty much saved my best stuff for the bad guys. But you gotta understand something, Dean.

ringing up #3! it's like a season's worth of straight forward communication

SAM I watched you die. SAM And I carried you. I carried your corpse into your room, and I put your dead body on your bed, and then you just... DEAN Yeah.

sam 💔

DEAN I know. I guess I was hoping that note would, you know, fill in the blanks. SAM “Don't look for me”? That note? Yeah, that was really informative. Thanks. DEAN Yeah. I... SAM What? DEAN It's embarrassing, you know? SAM W-what's embarrassing? DEAN All of it. You know, the -- the -- that note. Crowley. Everything.

oh, dean. i hadn't thought about that, that would be mortifying

SAM Dean, you were a demon. DEAN I was a demon? Oh, thanks. I didn't -- I didn't realize. SAM [smiling] Shut up.

cute cute

DEAN Not to mention, I never even said “thank you”" so... SAM You don't ever have to say that, not to me.

oh my god LOL it's like.

Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you. ― Anne Carson, Euripides

which is pretty much their dynamic all the time but the "not to me" would not be denied

TASHA Drop the gun, or Dreamboat here gets his mind blown.

dreamboat, that's a new one. also accurate

TASHA No one's talking to you, Paul Bunyan!

i snorted. okay, maybe this is the problem with my emotional attachment. serious scenes make me laugh. but not in a bad way most of the time? just i'm enjoying the silliness but then not feeling the serious parts. tone too wonky maybe. chicken and the egg, did the tone break the attachment or did the attachment break and made me notice just the jokes because i'm not emotionally engaged

well, they made the sibling parallel diverge pretty starkly what with one being full dark and the other willing and able to kill her

DEAN If you got an itch to scratch... SAM Dean, look, we both jumped on this case. I agree. Equal parts blame there. But the whole idea behind laying low was to rest, to...try and deal with everything we – everything you went through. Maybe we jumped back in too fast. I mean, Dean… you were a demon. You still have the Mark.

yes, dealing with it, definitely a new concept :p is this #4? lost track

SAM Didn't you ever wanna talk about it? DEAN Talk about it? Talk about it how? SAM Come on, man. DEAN I am coming on, Sam, look… I know what happened. Okay? I was there. Remember? I'm not trying to get by it. I just... That's not what this was about. SAM Then what is this about? DEAN It’s about gettin' back in the saddle. Okay? Doing something good, not stewing in my own crap. SAM And what if you're not ready?

this feels like a reminder, hey dean is the king of feeling guilty about things. which honestly, it wasn't at the forefront of my mind either. embarrassed and guilty ✅✅ i'm too worried about what the mark is doing to him

don't think i care if this is ooc i'm taking it. i ship clear communication 🤝 the boys

[timeoverload]

Today went well for the most. It was a long day and I'm so worn out. I got a lot done. Eye cases were finished around noon and I had everything cleaned up by 1.

I went to get my CPR test done and I got lost. I put the wrong address in my phone so I felt silly. I have never been to that building before but I found it eventually. It's kind of creepy in there because it used to be a surgery center and they haven't changed anything but it's so dark and feels abandoned. They closed the surgery center and moved into our building so they just use it for education now. I didn't really like being alone in there and I felt weird about it for some reason. I'm so happy I passed but it took me over an hour because the mannequins are not in good shape. I did it all without any help so I'm proud of myself. There wasn't anyone around to help me anyway.

My arms feel like noodles. I need to lift some weights or something. I used to have pretty nice biceps but I haven't been able to lift a lot of weight for a long time so I'm not that strong anymore. I did manage to lift the big autoclave cart up earlier on my own. I probably shouldn't have done that but I accidentally knocked it off the track when I was pulling it out so I had to fix it. It probably weighs anywhere from 300 to 500 pounds when it's loaded up. I'm just impressed that I can still do that since I don't load and unload the big autoclaves all the time anymore. I don't think I should try to lift that much by myself again because it weighs a lot more than I do and I could hurt myself. I used to do it all the time when I was younger but I was in better shape and I need to take that into consideration.

I didn't get back to work until 3 and I was a sweaty mess because it was hot outside. I got a spot in the parking garage so that was great because I was tired. I just sat and put sets together the rest of my shift. There was an emergency add-on but I didn't have to clean anything up except for some microscope handles so that was good. There was a different doctor doing the surgery and he uses instruments that can go through the regular washer. It was a pretty gruesome procedure and I stopped to watch for a while. I hope it was successful.

I got to leave on time and I was happy about that. I stopped and got some food on the way home because I had to get something to eat after running around so much today. I ate 2 cheeseburgers and some fries. I feel gross but at the same time it made me feel better. It was the only thing that sounded good and I knew I wouldn't want to move after I sat down.

My heart seems to be doing a little better today. It was fluttering around lunch time so I went to sit down and drink water but it wasn't as intense as yesterday. I think doing my CPR test helped in a weird way because I got a pretty intense workout while I was doing that and it got my heart rate up. It hasn't been fluttering since I did that so that's good news but I am still going to be careful. I am drinking lots of water and I'm avoiding caffeine as much as possible. I think I will be ok once I get the flexeril out of my system.

I have been reading about flexeril because I wanted to understand why this is happening when I don't take it all the time. I was only taking 5mg PRN and most people are given 10mg. Apparently it can stay in your system up to 2 weeks and it builds up over time. I am not very big and also unhealthy so that doesn't help. It can cause a lot of heart issues which makes sense so I need to stay away from it. I took it yesterday around lunch time and I started having issues about 2 hours after that. I hate prescription drugs. I can't ask my doctors for anything else for pain because it's too risky. I don't want to take any more medication for that. I'm annoyed that the best medicine for pain is still illegal here.

I am frustrated because my mom has been trying to fight with me all day again. I'm afraid to check the messages I get from her. I'm getting tired of her calling me satan. I forgot how draining it was to be in contact with her all the time after not talking to her for so long. She is just so mean and then she tries to say that I'm the one being mean when I try to give her a simple explanation. I just sent her a short message and she went off on me. She told she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and won't think of me ever so I'm not going to look at it anymore tonight. It makes me sad but I know she is never going to get better.

I stayed up too late last night and I can't stop yawning. I am planning on going to bed early. I am going to try to find something else to watch since I didn't have time to do that last night. I need to put some ice on my back and lay down. I don't have much else to talk about. I think tomorrow will be a good day and I don't think it will be as busy as Thursdays usually are. I am looking forward to the weekend.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too. :) 💖💖💖

[datastate]

girl why i lost my drawing pen

[a-snow-decahedron]

Learn to Dodge

Ok but imagine being Frisk and sucking at dodging bullets

it's 3 am im not apologizing for this.

warning for Frisk cursing a lot, because they deserve it and also because it's really funny to think the only reason they don't have dialogue is because it would change the rating of the game

sans: haven't i done a great job protecting you?

sans: i mean, look at yourself, you haven't died a single time

sans: hey, what's that look supposed to mean? am i wrong?

Frisk: That's such bullshit.

sans: language, bucko.

Frisk: No you shut up! I died so many times i can't count and you didn't do shit a single time.

sans: you did what-

Frisk: yeah you fucking heard me. I get to swear all i want after that.

sans: *realization hitting him like a brick* look, kid, there's a lot to unpack here. but first, when did u die?

Frisk: Oh now you care, don't you? Pretty much everyone's killed me at least once. I died like 10 times to Undyne alone and you were fucking napping!

sans: *lowkey feeling regret at his words* wait... everyone? even my bro?

Frisk: nah, Papyrus' cool. Still scared the crap out of me the first time he captured me. He's a little lost about humans but he's got the spirit.

sans: the dogi?

Frisk: 3 times

sans: Greater dog?

Frisk: twice

sans: alright, i guess that's valid. but i can't think of anyone else that could do some serious damage kid. seriously, did ya die to some teens? to jerry? to a woshua?

Frisk: Say that last name again and i'm throwing a chair.

sans: oh boy, how much didja die...

Frisk: Sans, look at me in the eyes. I'm opening them wide for you. Look at me, at my armor.

sans: what about it.

Frisk: you know temmie village?

sans: yeah

Frisk: Tem sells this armor for so much money you could pay your tab at Grillby's

sans: did u pick up a fight to get the money. come on kiddo, of course you got hurt doing that.

Frisk: I'm not done yet. So outside the village there's this dark as fuck maze and it's filled with Woshues and Moldbyggs and all. But every time I died, Sans. Every time you let my soul break into little tiny pieces. Temmie sold the armor for cheaper.

sans: how the he...ck would temmie know how many times you died?

sans, to himself: i could visit the village for research, bet they know something i don't

Frisk: Hey bonehead, wanna know how much it cost?

sans: sure, go ahead

Frisk: it started at like 4500 G. I already died a few times beforehand so it was probably more expensive than that. But that fucking maze is worse than my old neighborhood in the surface, man. I died so much the price got to 1400G I think.

sans: holy crap.

Frisk: it was still too much yknow, every time I died I lost my progress so I had to keep saving every penny I got. Anyways, see what I'm wearing? How much do you think it cost?

sans: uh... 500G

Frisk: close enough, 750, it didn't go lower than that. Before you ask: no, I did not die on purpose to find out.

sans: ...

sans: how many HP do humans have?

Frisk: I learnt what HP was like yesterday, I don't think I can tell you. I have 20.

sans: ok yeah that's low. i figured you'd have like 200 at least

Frisk: I know that if I kill people it somehow increases but that's awful so next time I came back to life after dying I was back to before I murdered someone. I chose to do as much as possible to never kill again on purpose or by accident.

sans: wow, kid. you really are, uh, determined.

sans: hold on, so you can travel back in time

Frisk: *shrugs* I guess? Still hurts a fucking lot when it happens after I die. but I think I can try at will.

sans: buddy, let's do something. you can come back to a few minutes on the past right?

Frisk: Yeah

sans: ok, so hear me out. i made a codeword some time ago, so if someone tells it to me i know they're a time traveler. get closer (whisper, whisper)

Frisk: Sans what the fuck.

sans: i hope you come back and tell it to me.

--one loaded SAVE later--

Frisk: hey you told me to tell you this and if it's a fucking joke i'm going feral.

sans: language, bucko.

Frisk: (whisper, whisper)

sans: who told you this? what a liar. *Frisk's eye twitches* but yeah that's a codeword. come closer, to really gain my trust you need another code (whimsper, whimsper).

Frisk: Oh for fuck's sake.

--Another loaded SAVE file later--

sans: hey, kiddo what's with that look

Frisk: This better be the last fucking codeword or I'm going insane

sans: language, bucko.

Frisk: *says the codeword*

sans: oh, so that's what you meant. It kinda explains a lot.

Frisk: Sans listen, I'm so fucking done of doing this. Let's just go eat, ok? Time traveling doesn't help wtih my hunger, and I reaally need to take my time to just explain what just happened because I know you got questions.

sans: *mentally preparing* here we go

-- some eplanations later --

sans: wow, kid. i'm impressed. for one thing i believe you. you knew what i was about to do before i did it.

sans: and, uh, guess i can't really make the past go away for you even if i don't remember that happening but... i'll do better, ok?

Frisk: Can I really trust you?

sans: you said your stats were low, mine are even worse so it's not like i can defend u without dusting myself in the process... but we can practice dodging, until you get better. and that armor's gonna help a lot too.

Frisk: For real?

sans: yeah, i made a promise after all. i gotta do a better job at keeping it.

sans: hey, buddy... you have not told this to anyone right? you haven't told the door lady.

Frisk: No fucking way. She also killed me once, telling her would destroy her. And I think she was trying not to hurt me too but somehow I managed to walk into her flames.

sans: ... why do you trust her?

Frisk: I don't know... it's complicated. She has good intentions. Better than some people on the Surface, anyways.

sans: you are a special kid, you know that? alright buddy, we can keep talking outside. let's take a breath and then do some training. even folks with low HP like us can find a way to survive. howzabout that?

Frisk: I guess... that's alright. Yeah, that can work.

* * *

[shiberpostshere]

The Kiss Thief - Park Seonghwa Social Media AU

13. Chapter Nine: Mega big brain boy ✨

Previous Part✨ Next Part✨

Masterlist of the AU✨

🌸

Yesterday was wild. It was truly wild personified. Your friends and Seonghwa's friends mingled together to create, as Yeosang kept mentioning, chaos multiplied. 

Despite the loud talking, heavy eating, after-dinner meeting and dramatic goodbyes under the influence of alcohol, (No one has yet confessed who switched Cola with Alcohol. Hence, the appearance of bold Jongho) the time spent was the most fun you've had since college life began. 

It was fun but it was tiring staying up late.

The only thing that occupied your mind today was the thought of comfortable sheets putting you to sleep in your bed.

Currently, you're thinking about the same but with different emotions, specifically regret. 

"Why are you making a face like that? This is the fourth time you've zoned out today." Seonghwa's question pulls you out of your trance. 

You two wrapped the daily studio teaching a few minutes ago and the next occupants of the recording studio showed up when you were leaving. As Seonghwa conversed with them, you decided to text Yeri, who delivered you the news, shattering your napping plans. 

Why today, of all days, today I forgot my key? 

You rub your eyes and place the phone in your pocket. "You've been counting?" 

"Well, you're the only person here I am supposed to pay attention to. So yes, I've been counting. What's up?" He asks as you two begin walking down the stairs. 

Groaning, you push your hair back into an aggressively tight ponytail. "I forgot my dorm keys, I wanted to nap but now I need to pretend to study in the library while I complain loudly in my mind." 

He raises a brow, hands fishing out car keys from his pocket. "Why don't you just drink your deathly beverage? Doesn't it keep you all buzzed and active?" 

You stop in front of the building entrance with a smug expression. "Oh, my deathly beverage for which I attended the beverage addiction convention?" 

Looking down, he shakes his head. "Do you want to grab something to eat?" You expected a snarky or teasing remark but what is delivered surprises you for a moment. 

"Together?" The thought of just the two of you sharing a meal is enough for your heart to beat a little faster than usual.  

The time spent in the studio mostly consists of him correcting mistakes and answering your confused questions.

The initial embarassment is only subtly present. His playful comment are mostly absent when he's explaining what Hongjoong has already well explained to you. His presence is comfortable.

When among your friends there's always someone (mostly Mingi) chiming in now and then but this is the first time since you've met that you'll be spending time with each other. 

Frankly, you also don't know how to act around everyone with him when even sneezing is considered giggling. You two haven't exactly acknowledged openly about your high school crush on him other than easy, playful conversation you two engage in quite a lot, whether texting or talking. 

"No, we'll be sitting on seperate tables." He begins walking towards his car. You had half-expected an answer like that. 

"Really? That sounds great, at least I don't have to put up with your nagging." Arriving by his side, you comment with a side eye. 

He offers you a deadpan expression. "Didn't you listen to what Yeosang said? I'm actually that clueless. That open discussion about me, remember." 

"Are you really? I have receipts of your messages admitting how you find my reactions 'cute'." You tap your pocket, contaning the source of evidence, your phone. 

The confidence comes when with him without you having to muster up any.

Seonghwa unlocks his car, a small hint of smile on his lips. "Okay, let's continue this conversation while eating." 

This boy. 

"Are you really that unphased? Are you really that clueless? Teach me your ways." 

He opens the door to the passenger's seat. "I'll feed you instead." 

You place your hands on your chest, followed by a dramatic expression. "Wow, you're amazing at deflecting." 

Seonghwa places a hand on his hip and that's your cue to get inside before losing your free meal ticket. 

You'd rather eat with Seonghwa any day instead of pretending to study at the library with droopy eyes.

🌸

After a ten minutes ride to a small and cozy restaurant, you two are seated in the chatter filled environment with two servings of soup in front of you loaded with vegetables, meat and noodles.  

He arranges the spoons for both of you.

"Better than greasy food that will make you more sleepy." He sips a spoonful and an instant satisfaction takes over his features.

You chuckle. "Oh my god, you're really a mom material---" The comment is instantly regretted as you taste the refreshing soup, enough to widen your eyes. 

He slurps the noodles and then turns to you with a victorious smile. "You develop motherly instincts when you hang out with children." 

"Children?" You're listening to him but the soup definitely has a majority of your attention. "Oh, you mean the guys?"

"All the seven of us are uniquely handful," The smile is still ever present on his lips. 

Even though you haven't spent much alone time with him, you can still detect the warmth filled, selfless nature he had back then and still has it within him now.

That was one of the main reasons you were attracted to him. 

Okay, not now (Y/N), let's not make it awkward. 

You take a big bite of the juicy, broth soaked meat. "You're still as initiative and kind as I remember." Speaking with much difficulty, you hold up your hand in front of your lips, "But I think something went wrong somewhere and you developed the quality of enjoying making fun of innocent girls like me." 

He offers you a tissue with his trademark, unphased expression. "I am actually that clueless." He shrugs. 

You snatch the tissue and wipe the corner of your lips. "Yeah, sure." 

He laughs at the look on your face. "What? You can't take a little teasing from your senior?" 

You throw up your hands in false frustration. "Oh my god, stop asserting your age kink!" 

"It's not a kink!" He says defensively. 

"Yes, sure. Mingi is Mingi but you, you are something else!" You say the statement, knowing that he understands the meaning behind it and begin sipping the remaining broth.

He too, downs the broth in one shot. "What am I?"

There it is, that amused and knowing glint in his eyes and the smirk he's attempting to hide. 

"You're..I don't know, whatever. Seventeen year old Seonghwa would never do this to me" You bite your tongue after delivering the statement.

He crosses his arms below his chest. "Seventeen year old Seonghwa was actually clueless." 

You point a finger at him with an exaggerated smirk. "Ha! You are basically saying that twenty-one year old Seonghwa isn't!" 

He places his head on his hands, shoulders shaking with gentle laughter. "(Y/N) if you keep reacting like that, do you really think I can stop?" 

Your expressive gesture shrinks. "You know what, I understand now." You hold up your hands in defeat. 

"No, don't stop now. We are finally opening up and talking." He gives you an encouraging nod. 

"Oh, don't trick me now. My eyes are about to roll back into my head." Your fingers undo the ponytail to let your hair breath. 

Sleep has abandoned your senses long ago but only now you realise how energized you're feeling.

"Fifteen year old (Y/N) would never." The innocent face of his doesn't do justice to the way he is speaking. 

"Hey!" You protest.

Wow, I sure react to everything he says. 

"Fine, fine. I'll stop now but If it ever gets beyond the limit, tell me." He assures with an honest expression. 

God, you cannot be teasing one minute and be kind the other, no, don't do this Park Seonghwa. 

You huff out a sigh and lean into your palms. "It is harmless anyway but you're too good at it and sometimes you are something else."

He mirrors your posture. "Yes, (Y/N), so tell, What am I? What is something else?" 

Your face falls into your palm and you hear his soft chuckles. 

Not again, Park Seonghwa, not again. 

Pairing: College Student! Seonghwa x College Student! Female Reader

Genre: Fluff, A teeny tiny bit of smut with a pinch of angst

Synopsis: High school crushes are often silly and forgotten. However, you cannot forget the one senior, you "borrowed" once a kiss from. Years have passed and it's a memory you laugh at but what will happen if you're to encounter the same senior in a much different setting and situation? Especially during your first year of college.

A/N: He make fun of you, he tease you but mostly importantly, he feed you 🙏🏻

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! 💫

🌸Tags:

@enigmaticsal @stardusthyuck @missiopk @preets-kpop-world @rae-woo @sanisms @retrofuture-ism @jiyeons-closet @hongjoongsnoona @seong-hwa1998 @dreamie-deonghwa @veeeenus4 @mochibabycakes @vhschs @kokoboxp

Unable to tag: @mingiibabieee

🌸

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[qilwashere]

Hinata Shoyo

Hinata is your neighbor, and you've known each other for the past few years.

You met him near the bathrooms by the water fountains at one of his games, ironically, right after he had gone into the men's room to empty his stomach, since he used to get nervous all the time before a match. Since then he's gotten better, but you still worry for him sometimes.

You always help each other with homework or volleyball, although it's kind of one-sided, since you're super smart and he's very dedicated to being a middle blocker.

You always thought of him as a best friend, nothing more, although over the past few weeks, you'd been questioning yourself about that. He's been hanging out with you less, but youre pretty sure it's just because he's been busier lately. Sometimes your anxiety gets the best of you and you wonder if you did something to provoke him to not want to be around you. Every time this thought pops up in your head you have to take a deep breath to rid your brain of it.

At school his grades have gradually getting worse so you proposed a study date. As soon as you asked him you went red, hoping he didn't take it the wrong way. "I-I didn't mean a real date, it's not like--" you stumbled over your words, but he interrupted you with a laugh and said "Sure, that'd be nice. Whatever day you're free," he smiled at you. You nodded quickly and agreed on a Wednesday. You both parted ways until the set date.

At around 5:40 that Wednesday, you pace around your bedroom waiting for that familiar chime coming from your front door, letting you know that Hinata was there. It never arrives, and your worries that he's trying to keep out of contact with you come flooding your mind once again. You hope that at least he'll text you that he couldn't make it, but no chimes come from your phone either.

The next day, Thursday, at school, you don't see him in any of your usual classes together, which concerns you because he almost never misses a day. Is he sick? you wonder to yourself, and can't get him off your mind until your friend Yachi invites you to her table at lunch to discuss the new club openings that they could join together.

You start to ask her if she's seen Hinata but stop yourself mid-phrase and continue eating.

The days drag along. You haven't heard a thing from Shoyo all week.

You make a last attempt to contact him by texting, "Hey, we missed our study session :p wanna try again tomorrow?" It was a Sunday, so you felt like the next day would be a good time. It surprises you when he responds almost immediately after with "Sure :D See you at school :)". Your heart leaps but you remember that this could all be a set up.

Nah, you reassure yourself, Shoyo's way too nice for that.

For the rest of the day you surprise yourself when your feet guide you to the school gymnasium. You walk in hesitantly towards the door and remember that--

Of course. Why did you think the gym would just be open to anyone? On a Sunday, at that? You bury your face in your hand and turn back when someone comes up behind you-- Yachi.

"Hi Y/N! What are you doing here? I came because I was forgot my bag in here on Friday and never got a chance to get it back. I figured I'd stop by and pick it up before school tomorrow," she says casually. You stare at her wide-eyed. "...Is something wrong?" She asks you. You shake you head no but reply, "I was.. uh, well I was hoping to practice volleyball drills for a bit." Your response surprises you, since you'd been happy to talk with people about it but never really played the sport, or seemed interested in doing so.

"We can't get in without the key, though, so--" you start, but Yachi cuts you off: "Oh, that's no problem, I'm the manager of the volleyball club! I thought I told you... Anyways, let me just make sure I have it on me--" she pauses and pats herself down until she finds a keychain in her pocket, "--we're good!" She says cheerfully.

Your bubbly friend unlocks the key to the Karasuno gym and pulls the basket of volleyballs out of the corner. You grab a ball and toss it up, lace your hands together and face your forearms towards the ceiling, and bend your knees to receive.

The toss was off so you have to shift to the left a little to receive it right, but the feeling of it bouncing off of your arms is so... exciting. You shuffle your feet quickly forward to get directly under the ball again and - POOMF - you hit it up perfectly again. The ball comes down once more and this time when you receive it, you decide to send it over and aim for the left corner of the court. You brace your arms, wait for the point of contact, shrug your shoulders and send the ball flying up... Over... And right inside the left lines on the other side of the net.

You pat yourself on the back for a second and continue doing some volleyball practice. You practice aiming your tosses and have Yachi (attempt to) give you some good sets for spikes. After about an hour and a half, the sun starts to disappear behind the hills. You pick up the balls with the new club manager and say your goodbyes before heading home.

Once you get to your room, you notice that your laptop is open so you decide to check your socials. You try to deny it but you know you're secretly hoping for a DM from Shoyo. As you scroll through your messages you start seeing chats that you hadn't opened in a good while. They don't interest you, though, because you just want to hear from that energetic tangerine-haired boy.

You slump onto your bouncy mattress and it seems to groan in agony as you get comfortable. Eventually your eyelids grow heavy and you decide to rest.

That next day, Hinata comes over to your house,  and you're just hopping into your neatest skirt when you open the door. You're ready for your study date, but before you can stay anything, he grabs your hand and almost drags you down the block to a wide field. As you're jogging beside him on that cloudy day, struggling to keep up, you sneak a glance at him and notice that he's looking happier than you'd ever seen him. You smile to yourself, look down, up again, and run faster to challenge his speed.

"No fair, you got a head start!" He pants, and you laugh.

Eventually you get to a large field with tall grass and a few dandelions.

"I... Need a break," you can barely get out as you bend over and breathe hard. Hinata does the same thing, and after a moment he says, "Hey, (Y/N), see that really tall blade of grass over there?" He says to you. "You mean the one that's taller than you?" You joke, and he scowls. "....Yeah, that one. I'll race you to it!" He taunts, and you gladly accept the challenge. Forgetting about school for a while, you sprint towards the grass towering over all the rest. He beats you, as always, but you don't care because even if you lost, you had more time to spend with him and that's all you needed.

By the time you reach the grass, you're both too weak to stand up, so you lay in the field, next to each other, hands just barely touching, and look at the clouds in the sky. You breathe hard and think about your best friend beside you, and feel yourself blush as you smile to yourself again.

It's quiet so as you push yourself up on your elbows, you try think of a way to start a conversation. "I, uh... I practiced some volleyball yesterday." You stumble over your words, but he perks right up at this, wide-eyed since you're not exactly the athletic type.

"Really?! How was it? Did you hit a spike? Did you practice your tosses? How were your receives? When the ball hit your arm did it go 'poomf?'" He bombards you with questions, doing the same movements he usually would on the court, since this is his area of expertise.

You try to answer him the best you can, "Well, actually, I did try to hit the ball over - Yachi, the new manager, tossed some balls to me - but they always hit the net... My sets were pretty good, and, I could control my receives!" You got excited near the end, almost bouncing, because the few times you practiced with Hinata, strangely, you struggled the most with your receives.

Hinata seems to remember that, because when you mention your improvement, he almost yells, "That's great Y/N! We should practice one day!" You agree with a giggle.

After a few minutes, the world seems to calm down, and so do you. Taking in loads of air at a time, you stare at the sky and try to trace shapes in the clouds.

"I miss you," Hinata says suddenly, almost under his breath. It surprises you and you go silent for a while. "I..I missed you too. A lot," you add, unsure of how to really respond.

He sits up and says, "I'm sorry we haven't talked, it was an accident. I got caught up in volleyball and my failing grades but-- but the few days I haven't seen you made me realize that I want you... More than you, or I, even know..." He trails off, playing with his fingers, and your heart skips a beat.

"I need you, (Y/N)." Hinata mumbles, staring at your bright (E/C) eyes. You nod, not knowing what to say. "Can I.. can I have you?" He asks, embarrassed. You nod again, harder, and grin at him. "Yeah," you just barely whisper, gazing at him as if he were the only thing in the world, and for that minute, he was.

He returns the smile, and it seems like, for that second that he does, the clouds go away, almost like they're making room for the ball of sunshine sitting next to you.

In that moment, with the (real) sun setting, and the dandelions swaying in the slight breeze, you realize that you do love this boy, and that you'd do anything for him. You move your hand slightly to the right so that your pinkie is resting on top of his. You sneak glances at him, and wonder if something's gonna happen.

Shoyo is quiet for the  rest of the time, and you don't kiss, but that's okay because...

Because he's yours. And you're his. And that's a better feeling than any kiss could've granted you.

|~Fin~|

AHHH I know there wasnt much action lol I just had to do this lol. As always thanks for reading <3

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah, Jac, Amelia & Isabelle

Savannah: What are we doing to get party ready? Savannah: because I vote we hit the spa to get our collective ✨ back Savannah: it should be ILLEGAL how my skin looks Jac: No way, I was JUST thinking how good your skin looked like THIS morning Jac: but it's never NOT a good time for the spa too though so 🤭 Savannah: your hype is everything! I don't even deserve how flawless you are in a beyond skin deep way Savannah: but yes to the spa being my go to fave ^^ Amelia: I can't Jac: only giving what you put out, it is beyond deserved ❤❤ Jac: Why not Meelie? Amelia: I'll be at the party but the only way I could be there too is if my mum comes with and NOBODY wants that Jac: Your mum is fun Amelia: not that fun Jac: Doesn't [some boujee place they'd like] have a 10% discount right now, Savvy? Jac: they do THE BEST facials Savannah: 👏🏾 Yes! You have the BEST taste & I think it's actually gone up to 15% 🙌🏾 Isabelle: Awh 😟 it sounds like so much fun but mine won't give me any money and I'm so broke after getting those new trainers Savannah: Don't be silly! It's totally my treat, Is Savannah: your pores shouldn't have to stay clogged for the sake of those trainers Jac: That is so generous of you 🥺🥺 Jac: I NEED a hot oil hair treatment like yesterday, I don't know why it's so dry right now but it's not a mood Savannah: your hair looked beautiful yesterday & if you don't believe me, I literally heard so many girls from the year above talking about it so Jac: 😳😳😳 Jac: well I KNOW Ty heard those 6th years talking about you, he was so jealous, bless him 🥰 Savannah: I was in the bathroom overwhelmed by sadness & I heard your name over & over, it felt seriously fated Savannah: oh my god, he refuses to tell me what they sad, I've given him the full 🥺 & everything Savannah: *said Amelia: maybe you need bigger eyelashes Savannah: Do you think? Jac: Oh my God, where even was I? Boo! 😖 You should have called so I could come find you Jac: no way, you like, INVENTED puppy dog eyes, your natural lashes are so thick and dark Jac: he's just saving your blushes, so cute Savannah: ugh, my phone was like dying because Sienna had all this drama with a girl in her class earlier Savannah: 🥰 you're so cute, I can't even handle all these compliments Jac: Is she okay or do we need to talk to this girl? Jac: her year is vicious, I swear Savannah: she says she's okay but she can't hide how upset she is from me Jac: You're way too empathetic, you know her inside out Jac: Poor Sienna, does she want to come too? Savannah: that's SUCH a great idea, I'll ask her Jac: We could all get matching nails Isabelle: Sorry...mum called Isabelle: won't that be really expensive though? are you super sure Sav? Savannah: of course, Is Savannah: it's not like I need a new outfit for Erin's house party Isabelle: Yay, thank you so much! 😁 So you can come too Meels? Amelia: No Amelia: it wasn't about the money, remember? Isabelle: 😥 you don't want to be left out though Amelia: there's nothing I can do about that Isabelle: oh that's such a shame Isabelle: I'll bring you back some of those mini cakes and sandwiches they do Amelia: thanks Amelia: I'll see you at Erin's Jac: Are you sure there's no way? Amelia: you've really forgotten the 📅 haven't you? Jac: Oh, it's her birthday Jac: right? Amelia: yeah Savannah: we should send her 💐 from all of us Savannah: I love your mum Jac: Are you definitely coming to the party then? Amelia: I'll be there Amelia: Erin throws a good party Jac: 💐 is a great idea, we can go pick them out Jac: what are you doing with her today then? Amelia: 🎭🩰 totally not my thing but my dad won't take her Amelia: she doesn't think I will either, so it'll be stay a huge surprise Jac: That's really nice, she'll love it Jac: I'd love to go sometime Savannah: Ballet lessons were the highlight of my Saturday when I was little, I was obsessed Savannah: mainly for the outfits though 😄 Jac: I can so picture you with your little bun 😊 adorable Savannah: [pics because she's that bitch] Jac: 😭😭😭😭 Jac: how have you always been PERFECT Jac: I was so ugly 😬😂 Amelia: no you weren't Jac: I so was Jac: you and Is were really sweet and I was so 😱😱 Jac: never mind the puppy fat, yikes Amelia: the fringe my mum forced me to have was not sweet 😣 Savannah: I'm with Amelia, you were definitely such an 👼🏻👶🏻 Amelia: she was Amelia: [pics of them all as kids but especially her being bffs with Jac to make that point to Savannah like] Jac: You guys are so sweet Jac: I love you Isabelle: I look exactly the same is that a good or a bad thing Amelia: 😂 Amelia: better than looking like 👧🏻 Amelia: I'm literally an emoji Isabelle: Iconic, some would say Isabelle: 🤭 Savannah: these pics are going to make me cry, I swear Savannah: too adorable Savannah: as if you've all been friends for so long Jac: It's so wild to me that we weren't friends before now Jac: we should've been friends this whole time too Savannah: I know, but I guess I wasn't ready until now Savannah: I had so much character development to do first Jac: 🙌🙏 ^^ SAME Jac: it had to be now Jac: you're all being nice about it but I would lowkey DIE if you knew me even a few years ago Jac: not cute Savannah: ^^^^^^ Savannah: Ty hasn't seen me before we got together & I 🙏🏾 he never will Amelia: he didn't go to another school, I think he knows that you existed before him Jac: the glo-up is too real to go back 💁 Savannah: I'm still waiting for my glow up Savannah: there's only so much the spa can do Jac: 😤 you're so FLAWLESS Jac: like literally, there isn't a single thing wrong with you Savannah: stop, I don't know if I'll start blushing or sobbing Isabelle: I would love to look like you, Savannah Isabelle: what should I wear tonight? Isabelle: I want Tom to notice me Savannah: I'm flattered but you need to embrace your own beauty, Is Savannah: it's so important Savannah: Oh, Tom R or Tom S? Isabelle: Ew, Tom S Isabelle: I made out with Tom R last year and it was baaaad bad Savannah: One second, I'll ask Ty about him now I have the right Tom Isabelle: I'm so excited I might puke Savannah: okay so he likes to make the first move, you'll need to dress like you're not the kind of girl who kissed Tom R Isabelle: How do I do that? I need help 😩 Savannah: maybe you can borrow something of Amelia's Isabelle: Can I Meels? Isabelle: I dunno if I'll suit your style though...I'm not cool Amelia: I couldn't get the grass stains out of the skirt you borrowed last time Isabelle: Whoops 😉 Amelia: and you don't need to dress to impress Tom S anyway, he's nothing special Isabelle: He's so lush though Amelia: 🤨 Isabelle: Come on! You have eyes Isabelle: isn't he so fit guys Savannah: I only have eyes for one boy, but he does have nice eyes himself Jac: You've done worse Isabelle: Yeah, Tom R for example Isabelle: 😨 Savannah: 😅 Savannah: You know who apparently is the worst kisser ever, Donovan! Savannah: have you ever kissed him, Is? Isabelle: Have I? Isabelle: 🤔 Amelia: he leaned in to 💋 but you 🤮 on his trainers Isabelle: Ha! Isabelle: Dodged a bullet, apparently Jac: He wasn't as fast Savannah: Oh my god! Jac: It was so shaming, we had to call her mum to pick her up Savannah: my parents would kill me Jac: Your mum is like, beyond chill, Is Jac: she lets you get away with loads Savannah: I'd be beyond jealous if I wanted to kiss Tom R, or fall down drunk in his path, at least Savannah: thankfully he's not my type Isabelle: Not even, she was so mad at me for ages Isabelle: I was sick in the fireplace Isabelle: it was so hard to clean Jac: Is that friend of Ty's going? Jac: 😶 Savannah: yes Jac: 🥴 Isabelle: oooooooooooooooooh, do you like someone J?!?!? Savannah: he doesn't usually go to house parties but as soon as he heard you were, he recognised that Erin's had potential Isabelle: who who Savannah: J doesn't want to make a big deal out of it Amelia: then why turn it into a big secret? Jac: It's no secret Jac: but Is has already got no chill and you know I'm shy Jac: I won't be able to cope with how blatant her 👀 is Amelia: you could've told me that you liked someone Jac: I am telling you Jac: like, right now Amelia: not really Jac: What do you mean? 🤨 Amelia: I mean, you're not actually telling me anything Jac: I'm not trying to like, commandeer this whole convo and make it about me Jac: but okay Jac: he's one of Ty's friends, he's on the team too Amelia: I could scroll up for that info but okay Jac: I don't know what you want me to say? Jac: I've not spoken to him properly yet, he's just interesting Amelia: interesting how? Jac: 😳 Savannah: is this third degree honestly necessary? Jac: maybe I shouldn't go now Jac: I'm feeling kinda off Savannah: Baby 😔 Savannah: we can do whatever you want to do Jac: No, I won't spoil your guys fun Jac: you should all go Savannah: it won't be any fun without you Savannah: & anyway, if you don't feel well you need someone there to take care of you Jac: You'd do that for me? Jac: you'll make me cry, I swear Savannah: It's just a stupid party, you're you Jac: Will Ty be mad at you? Savannah: of course not, all his friends will be there, he doesn't need me as much as you do Jac: I wanna still try to do the spa Jac: for Sienna Jac: but I just can't see him now, the anxiety is too high Savannah: she'll understand if we have to reschedule but it might make you feel better to be pampered Savannah: but I'll give you a facial if you can't cope with a full spa situation Savannah: it's totally your decision Jac: I do have this new mask I think will be amazing for your skin type Jac: bring Sienna, she can see the new pup we just got Savannah: you understand too, don't you, Is? Savannah: I'll take you for a manicure next week, I promise Isabelle: Oh, yeah, totally Isabelle: mum said it's too much to accept anyway Isabelle: Are you sure you don't want to come though? Isabelle: sounds like he really wants to see you Savannah: I'm here for you if you want any more outfit help for Tom, just facetime me Isabelle: Thank you sweetie, I'm really torn between these 3 dresses Isabelle: wait, 4 Isabelle: I'll definitely call Jac: You're a doll, Is Jac: Tom is gonna be 😍 Savannah: ^^ I can't wait to hear how blown away he is by you Isabelle: I'll give you all the rundown tomorrow morning 😁😁😁 Isabelle: do you want to go together, Meels? Amelia: I've got to put the time in with mum, I'll probably be late getting there Amelia: don't worry about waiting for me Isabelle: Okay, if you're sure Isabelle: come find me when you get there Amelia: yeah, Tom's tall, I'll be able to Isabelle: 🤤🤤🤤 Isabelle: he's so tall Amelia: play it cool, Is Isabelle: 😖 Savannah: you don't need to listen to Amelia, she's not an expert Amelia: I don't need to know about boys, I know her Isabelle: I don't wanna be sick on this one's shoes Amelia: of course you don't Amelia: trust me, drink less, dance more Jac: you should let him give you your first drink Savannah: 👏🏾 he'll LOVE that Isabelle: Ugh, thanks guys Isabelle: I am going to need to pre-drink though Isabelle: for my nerves Amelia: me too, for my 🎭🩰🧠 Jac: What ballet is it? Amelia: 🔥🐦 Jac: Your mum will love it Amelia: she hasn't already seen it, that's a good start Jac: I haven't either Jac: I mean, I just watch the performances at home but yeah Jac: we've sent the flowers via one of those postbox ones, they'll come tomorrow Amelia: she'll love those too Amelia: maybe even more than seeing me dressed for 🎭🩰 Jac: send us your outfit too then, yeah Amelia: no way, they're going nowhere but my mum's facebook Jac: I am her friend, you know Isabelle: hey, I'm not! Amelia: add her, she won't mind Isabelle: I'm so going to Isabelle: not my Insta though Isabelle: I've blocked mine 💁 Amelia: it's okay, I don't let her on my insta either any more Amelia: she leaves too many 😳 comments Isabelle: Mammys are the worst Isabelle: 😬😬 Amelia: at least she understands socials, my dad is clueless Amelia: and he's not THAT old Isabelle: My nan loves selfies Amelia: your nan is my everything Amelia: if I could bring her to the party tonight, I would Isabelle: 😂 you're so wild Amelia: tear yourself away from whichever Tom it is and you'll see Isabelle: not with Pam thank you 🤣 Isabelle: she has a boyfriend Amelia: get it Pamela Isabelle: his name is Brian Isabelle: they go down dolly mount every Friday, it's so cute Amelia: I'm so happy for them Jac: Awh, how sweet Jac: What about Jackie, has she been dating? Isabelle: She never tells me anything Isabelle: she says she's too busy working Amelia: Jackie doesn't need a man Isabelle: You sound just like her! Amelia: cut me deeper, Is 💔 Isabelle: sorry, you do though Isabelle: do you listen to the same female empowerment spotify playlist? Amelia: link me, I'd probably I'd be into it Isabelle: [does, imagine those single lady tunes lmao] Amelia: 😂 Amelia: this could save my life when I hate the 🎭🩰 Isabelle: no, no, take this Isabelle: [some dance sexy sassy playlist she's listening to] Amelia: you should send that one to Erin Amelia: save the party too Isabelle: Good idea Isabelle: [some cringy tiktok moment of her dancing, Isabelle stop] Amelia: [a video of amelia dancing amazingly at some party or other recently that Isabelle had to go home early from so she missed it, cos we gotta remind the lurking bae who we are] Isabelle: 🤯🤯🤯🤯 YOU'RE SO GOOD Isabelle: you should post! you'd get so many likes Amelia: I was so drunk, that's all Savannah: I can't believe that's you! Amelia: 🤔 am I flattered or offended Isabelle: Meels has always been a good dancer Isabelle: you should teach me Amelia: we can start tonight if it won't make Tom rage that he isn't teaching you something Isabelle: it's for his benefit Isabelle: so many lads are gonna be 😍 at you Amelia: they'll be looking at you if I do it right Isabelle: I'm fine with that 😋 Amelia: me too Jac: [some message between Ty and this Tom with some form of insider info they've made him get lol like you're welcome Isabelle but you also owe us now] Amelia: I'm seriously not understanding why you like him, Is Isabelle: 😲 OMG OMG Isabelle: it is so useful having a boy on our team Isabelle: thank you Ty, ahhhhhhh Isabelle: [pictures of him like hello] Savannah: We all want you to be happy Isabelle: 🥺🥺 awwwww Savannah: did you narrow down your outfit picks yet? Isabelle: no, I'm making toasties Isabelle: mum said I have to line my stomach 🙄 Jac: I hope that doesn't make a reappearance later Amelia: Erin's 🏠 is lovely, try not to redecorate it for her Amelia: can I stay over at yours, Is? Amelia: my parents will be all 😍🥰😘 Isabelle: 🤢🤢🤢 Isabelle: You can Isabelle: mum's on nights so she'll be gone and we won't have to worry about waking her up Amelia: if Tom's staying too, tell me now because that's as 🤢 Isabelle: Amelia! Amelia: I don't want to see or hear it, sorry Isabelle: he won't be staying, oh my gosh Amelia: okay Isabelle: I'm not a slag Isabelle: that's just what Kane put about when I dumped him for two-timing me Amelia: until I shut him up Isabelle: Ha, that was funny Isabelle: I thought he was gonna cry Amelia: he probably did when he went home Jac: 👏 Amelia: I should probably go get 🎭🩰 ready Amelia: 😣 this 👗 though Amelia: I'm going to look like I belong on Pam's 🚽 to hide her 🧻 Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not like you can wear your grass-stained skirt Amelia: It's long gone Jac: Shame Amelia: yeah, I liked it Jac: and Is had a good time in it Jac: fond memories Amelia: I'm sorry, okay? Jac: ... Jac: What? Amelia: for the 'third degree' earlier Jac: Oh, right Jac: well thanks for apologising, that's mature of you Amelia: I can be, sometimes Jac: I wouldn't suggest otherwise Amelia: I just had no idea you liked any of Ty's friends Jac: It's not like a thing, is all Jac: I'm not like in love with the boy Jac: you'd know if it was serious Amelia: would I? Jac: Obviously Jac: don't be silly Amelia: I have to go, I wouldn't have time to be silly even if you wanted me to Jac: Make sure your mum has a good time then ❤ Amelia: she will, I've booked a dinner reservation and everything Savannah: That's so cute! I feel like I should be a better daughter starting today Jac: Same Jac: putting us all to shame Isabelle: I only got my mum a necklace from the market for her birthday Isabelle: and it made her neck go green 😩 Amelia: she's been annoying me less lately Amelia: actually being helpful Isabelle: 🥳🥳🥳 Amelia: I didn't realise she was good for advice AND gossip Jac: You know you can talk to us too, right Isabelle: ^^ We're your best friends forever Amelia: it's nothing, I thought I liked someone too but I got it wrong Isabelle: but you never like ANYONE Isabelle: no offence Amelia: none taken Isabelle: you'll find someone Meels 😙 Amelia: maybe Amelia: maybe not Isabelle: Of course you will, you're lovely! Isabelle: right girls Jac: But she can take as much time as she likes, Is Savannah: Ty has so many amazing friends when you are ready, but there's no rush Amelia: Thanks Sav, but they're not my type Jac: I hate to think of your mum waiting on her birthday Jac: you don't wanna be late because Is still hasn't picked an outfit Amelia: don't worry, I'm going Isabelle: See you at Erin's 💖 Jac: Later 👋 Amelia: yeah x 2

[secondhand-sheep-shack]

So this is an update for followers.

I'm not okay. I'm functional and not at risk of doing anything to harm myself, please do not worry there.

I started on Lyrica 15 days ago. It worked great until it worked the wrong way. Lyrica has a black box warning of increased depression suicidal thoughts or actions.

When you already have depression, this added influence from medication is called drug-induced depression and Lyrica has a reputation for causing it in a lot of people. I'm one of the unlucky ones. I was fine until Saturday at work. It was like someone came over, snuck up behind me and flipped a switch I didn't know existed.

I suddenly wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything. Sunday I slept, all day. This was clue-by-four number 1 that I wasn't okay.

I woke up yesterday and I was well on my way to a severe bout of major depression.

Ben and I talked. Mom and I talked.

It didn't help. I was entirely apathetic to everything. But at least my arms didn't hurt, right?

I had a call with SupportLinc as part of our EAP through work. I called back at 1am last night and talked to a counselor. I messaged my doctor at 330 am asking for a medication change, hoping like hell that I wouldn't have to wait for an appointment next week. Because the nerve pain is getting worse because the cause isn't getting better, but more on that later.

I didn't know if I had the ability to DEAL with the pain, the anxiety at work, the bullshit at the end of my shift, and my brain being problematic for another week.

At 9am I woke up sore and mentally drained despite sleeping 6 hours. I don't get up until noon most days. I could not get comfortable and my brain was running through the worst of everything list. So I was awake, unfortunately.

Phone bears notification from the message service for the doctor. I hesitantly open the message thread, read the words and cried.

"Sounds like a good plan, I called in 30 days at the beginner dose. If in a week it's not enough, but your mental health is stable we'll adjust it upward. You should be able to pick it up at your convenience.

And then a notification from my pharmacy that my script was ready for pickup.

So I have a new medication. I'm pushing for the ortho consult and pushing them to do the surgery sooner rather than later, because I have enough trouble staying above water without meds dragging me down.

I don't want to take these things for the rest of my life, simply because I have an active job using my hands. But the diagnosis is carpal tunnel mild cubital tunnel impingement.

As much as adulting some days seems like more effort than it's worth, I remember that my meds cost me $3 and after working all day I have the ability to do 2-3 hours of crafts before my hands get pissed off and tell me to go to bed. Funny that the biggest stressor in my life is the biggest help to not be in some pain afterward.

Gauging parts doesn't hurt. Writing notes and measurements is torture.

Listening to my boss complain about the speed of my production and never hearing a good word is...disheartening.

He wonders why no one on southside tries anymore. Because even I get tired of being degraded by generalized statements day in and day out. Oddly most consider me the most positive upbeat attitude in the department.

They noticed that I wasn't myself yesterday.

I handed in paperwork at the end of the day.

Boss asks how I managed it. I had help. Even if all he did was load and unload and empty chip bins, I could focus on not blowing a drill.

He told me to look at the list and tell him what I saw.

9 - down.

8 - 360 front / 760 back.

GS1 - 450; GS2 - 140

K ran 590 total on 2 lines.

I ran 760 on 1.

I ran 160 more parts than the next highest total.

Everyone else ran 300 or less.

I left work feeling better because I knew without a doubt that I do more work on my 2 lines than anyone else on that side. K can only run if other lines (x6) are running well. 3 of those 6 were up yesterday.

This is rambly and jumbled and I apologize for my brain dump. This is how it goes lately. At least I didn't confuse a bunch of words this time. (Note that a goose is not footed bagpipes - don't ask)