#like down to they went to the same uni and did kinda the same thing. and i'm abt 75% sure they must know each other 💀

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

the heist!mark brainrot is consuming me…, just imagine mark n the viewer meeting for the first time as little kids to shoplift candy or smth together ╥﹏╥

the (brain)rot consumes!! I can relate

my dear anon... LISTEN. I am a big advocate for childhood friends captaineer, it's one of my favourite headcanons, but a childhood friends AU for the heist partners? that's something I hadn't considered until now. and it's adorable. I had to write something for it asap because I was INSPIRED. I hope you enjoy💖 thanks for sparking the idea!

Heist!Mark x reader (not explicitly romantic at all it's more about the friendship in this one) | Words: 1,317

You are in the kitchen of your shared home base, unloading the groceries your heist partner has just bought, when you pick up a bag of sour candies, smiling quietly to yourself. He's always been a fan of them.

Turning the packet in your hands, an old memory drifts to the surface of your mind:

You don't remember exactly how long ago it was, but you couldn't have been much older than maybe ten.

Your father was busy working, and had reluctantly sent you to the store with a small list after you insisted you could handle it on your own.

You slipped the folded piece of paper out of your school bag and scanned the list of items. At the bottom was a note that read, ‘Remember to stay hydrated, kiddo! :)’

You walked around the supermarket collecting the few things on your list and placed them in your trolley. On your way to the checkout, you passed through the candy aisle and slowed to eye the products on display.

‘Aren't you going to get anything?’

Your head perked up, shocked at the sudden voice addressing you.

There was a boy next to you with dark hair, looking at you inquisitively. He seemed to be about your age. He might have even been slightly shorter than you.

You must have been standing here for longer than you realised if it had prompted him to ask you about it.

You shook your head.

‘Why not?’

‘Oh, um. My dad only gave me enough money for what we need,’ you said timidly, showing him the list.

‘Ohh, that's too bad.’ Then, a small yet undeniably mischievous smile appeared on his face. He glanced discreetly up and down the aisle. ‘You know you can just — ’ and he took one of the small packets of candy off the shelf and slipped it swiftly into his pocket.

Your eyes went wide, stunned. Both from the fact that he was suggesting you steal, and at the speed and subtly with which he'd enacted the crime, as if he'd done it dozens of times before, if not more.

‘What are you doing?’ you spoke in a harsh whisper.

‘It's no big deal,’ he said in a lower voice than before, but one that still felt entirely too loud. He slipped another bag into his pocket.

You did not want to associate with this boy any longer.

You pushed your trolley away and towards the checkout, handing your items to the cashier.

You were unhappy to find the boy waiting for you when you exited the store, shopping bag in your hand.

‘What do you want?’ you asked, a little standoffishly, frowning at him.

‘There's no need to be rude,’ he said with a small pout. ‘Y'know, I think I might have seen you at school a few times.’

To your dismay, he followed along as you started walking home. When you pressed him, he simply said, ‘Hey, I'm not following you! I live down this way too, I promise!’

As the two of you walked, he chatted annoyingly by your side. What was more annoying was that you found you didn't mind his presence. You were a quiet kid and you didn't have many friends. Having someone to walk home with you was kind of a nice change of pace.

Just as you thought this, though, you immediately chided yourself mentally. You and him were not friends. You weren't going to be friends. This boy was a criminal and he wasn't even sorry about it.

You frowned in thought.

Oh no, what if he got caught? What if you went to juvenile jail for being an accomplice to theft? What would Dad say? What would Mom say? What if—’

‘Hey, are you listening to me? You haven't responded to anything I'm saying.’

You simply sighed as he pulled you out of your thoughts.

‘Are you still mad about the candy? I told you it's not a big deal.’

You stopped as you realised you were approaching your front door. The journey seemed to have gone a little faster than usual.

‘Really?’ you finally replied in an exasperated tone. ‘That was no big deal for you? That was stealing. Stealing is wrong.’ You couldn't believe you had to spell it out to him.

‘They won't notice a couple tiny bags of candy are gone. My mom says big companies that own supermarkets are greedy. They make loads of money anyway and don't pay enough taxes.’

‘Does your mom know you're a thief?’

‘W- well, no, but-’

‘That’s what I thought.’

He looked a little disheartened.

‘Please don't tell anyone. I'm sorry if I upset you,’ he said quietly, looking down.

You hadn't really expected an apology from someone like him. You sighed again.

‘I won't tell, but don't expect me to just go along with it. And don't act like we're best buds all of a sudden. We don't know each other. You don't even know my name!’

‘Well, what's your name?’

You gave him a slightly surprised look before telling him your name, albeit hesitantly.

‘Look, I have to get going now…’

You fumbled with the shopping bag as you reached into your coat pocket, feeling for the house key, when you suddenly felt something that wasn't there before. It made a crinkling sound beneath your touch.

‘You didn't.’ You pulled the candy out of your pocket. ‘When did you—?’

The boy grinned at you.

‘I thought you could have one of mine.’

‘I don't want your stolen candy!’

‘Judging by how you looked at it earlier, I think you do. And besides, stolen treats taste better!’ he called out, already walking away.

‘Wh- SHH!’ You hoped none of your neighbours had heard.

‘I'm Mark by the way! See ya, buddy!’

You stood outside the front door, dumbfounded.

Finally you let yourself in. Your dad wouldn't be home yet for a while.

You put the shopping away and sat down at your kitchen table, staring at the stolen goods in front of you.

You could try to put it back but… that would be more suspicious.

You figured, the deed had been done. There was nothing you could do now, so you may as well make the most of it.

You tore the edge of the packet and popped one of the candies in your mouth, savouring the sweet and sour combination on your tongue.

Maybe Mark was right. It did taste extra good. But maybe it was just because you'd been craving it.

What a weird kid.

‘Stealing is wrong, huh…?’ you mumble under your breath. You look down at the candy in your hands. It's not the same brand as the one from back then, but you imagine it tastes more or less the same, from what you remember.

Present day Mark is the one to pull you out of your musings.

‘Hey, what's with that face you're making? I know that look, buddy. Are you contemplating your life choices??’

You chuckle softly.

‘Just… got reminded of something. I suppose I got lost in nostalgia for a moment.’

‘Oh yeah? Penny for your thoughts?’

You turn and smile at him.

‘This just made me think of an annoying little boy stealing candy from a supermarket. And his reluctant acquaintance who ended up getting dragged into his antics for the foreseeable future.’

It takes a second for it to click.

‘Ohhhhh.’ You watch as realisation turns to him smiling fondly at the memories, which turns to him snapping his attention to you with a fake-offended look.

You laugh at his expression.

‘Wait, hey! Annoying?!’

‘Mhm.’

‘Excuse you, I was a wonderful, sweet and positively charming child.’

Your laughter rings out in the kitchen, full of mirth, and he shakes his head at you with a familiar lopsided grin, and you are so grateful for the cheeky little boy who approached you that day.

[minthara]

i feel soooo much better today already lmfao and also had a date with i think the best dating app victim i've had all my life lol

[supernovafics]

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 2.3k words

summary: in which it’s hard to see eddie with anyone who isn't you

warnings: friends to lovers to friends again (kinda), explicit language, alcohol consumption, very brief mention of weed, pining, angst

author’s note: this is fully inspired by the song "new love" by girl in red. enjoy<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“She’s right over there. Should I do it?”

“Yeah, go for it.”

Eddie nodded at your words and then he was standing up from the long patio chair that you, him, and Robin had been occupying for the past thirty minutes, and heading over to where his newest crush stood with a few of her friends. 

Robin let out a laugh. “I don’t get it.”

You turned your head to look at her. “What?”

“How you guys can still be friends right now. You only broke up like two months ago.” 

Making the promise to stay friends post-breakup was the only thing that made the breakup feel a thousand times less terrible. And it sounded easy enough— you and Eddie were simply just going to go back to how things were before you started dating.

“We’re better off as friends,” He had said to you that random Wednesday night back in January and you nodded understandingly. It was amicable and mutual, and eventually— maybe, hopefully— the barely five-month relationship would be a funny little story to reminisce about with each other years down the line.  

You took a long sip from the red cup in your hand and then shrugged at Robin’s words. “I don’t know. This just works somehow. It’s better.” 

You had been telling yourself that lie a lot lately— maybe almost too much. But, it was easier to pretend that that lie was the truth and that everything was fine, instead of thinking that maybe you made a mistake that night when you found yourself agreeing with Eddie and let things end between the two of you. 

“No offense, but so weird,” Robin said with a shake of her head. “So, who’s this new girl he’s into anyway?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

Eddie had told you a lot about her— how she saw one of his band’s shows recently with a few friends and how she kinda ran in the same-ish circles— but most of what he said about her went in one ear and out the other. Hearing him ramble on and on about a new crush hurt more than you thought it would. Even more than when you two were actually just friends and you were harboring what felt like a hopeless crush on him for years before finally admitting it.

Breaking up was supposed to save you both from more heartbreak in the long run, but most of the time it felt like it was only making things worse. Sometimes you wondered if Eddie felt the same way— if he regretted it as much as you did. 

It was almost too obvious that he didn’t, though, because he didn’t waste a second moving on. 

New girl, new crush, new love. All of which wasn’t you anymore. 

You looked away from where he stood next to the girl— you were only fifty percent sure her name was Ally. She was happily laughing at whatever Eddie had just said to her, and he was smiling widely. 

“I’m gonna go inside and attempt to find the bathroom,” You told Robin before downing the rest of what was in your cup and placing it on the ground, and then standing up.  

She looked up at you. “Want some help?” 

“No, it’s okay,” You shook your head. “I’ll be right back.” 

You kept your eyes down and away from Eddie as you walked into the house, a place that was way too small to have this many people in it. The inside was packed to the brim with a bunch of unfamiliar faces, and that was the main reason why you, Robin, and Eddie immediately retreated to the backyard once the three of you showed up. The only reason you all knew about the party was because of a friend of a friend of someone that Eddie met at The Hideout a few weeks ago.

You maneuvered through the throngs of dancing people and groups of friends talking loudly over the blasting music and headed up the stairs, hoping that it would be a bit more calm. 

The universe must have been somewhat on your side because you found the bathroom on your first try. You didn’t even need to use it, you just wanted a moment of quiet. And even though you could hear the muffled sounds of the song playing downstairs through the shut door, it was still good enough.

You leaned back against the sink and let out a long breath. 

It was hard not to think about Eddie with Ally and how happy they looked, even though it was only one of their first few conversations. All you wanted to do was take her place. All you wanted was for him to want you like that again. 

It wasn’t supposed to be this hard, this complicated. Being just friends again was supposed to be the best thing to do, and you now wanted to bitterly laugh at yourself for stupidly believing that thought two months ago. Most of the time, that night played back on what felt like a continuous loop in your head. You kept wondering if you should’ve done things differently; if you should’ve, maybe, fought harder to keep what you two had. 

“I don’t think we should do this anymore.”

You had immediately laughed at Eddie’s soft-spoken words, thinking that he was joking, but when he didn’t join in, you were furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “What?”

“This just doesn’t make sense, y’know? We’re graduating soon, and then we’re gonna be going in completely different directions. You’re leaving Hawkins, and I already know that I’m gonna be stuck here.”

You were quiet because you had no idea how to respond to that. Maybe it was only half-right— yes, you were going to be headed to a college that was not in Indiana at the end of the summer, but you truly couldn’t imagine Eddie being “stuck” anywhere.

“We’re better off as friends,” He continued. “Neither of us can get hurt that way.”

It was all so surprising and felt entirely out of nowhere, but you could tell by how he said the words that he had been thinking about this for a while. There was a part of you that could understand what he meant, the sad why behind it all, so you decided to lean into that. Because, in a way, he was kind of right— the deeper you fell for each other, the more painful the heartbreak would be in the end, and the harder it would be to leave in August. 

But, shit, you were already in way too deep. 

You still felt yourself nodding in agreement with him anyway, even though it was the last thing you wanted to do. “Okay.”

“So… just friends again?”

You simply nodded again and gave him a small smile. “Yeah, of course. Just friends.” 

Now you felt so dumb for saying that, for agreeing to the idea. You couldn’t be “just friends” with Eddie Munson anymore. 

There was a loud knock on the door that abruptly pulled you out of your thoughts. 

“Sorry, one sec,” You yelled out to the person on the other side. 

You let out another breath and didn’t bother looking in the mirror to see if the sadness you were feeling was written so clearly across your face. Mainly because you knew that it definitely was and it would be too hard to replace it with a fake smile, anyway. 

A random girl was rushing in before you were even fully out of the door, and you hoped that she was doing better than you were at that moment, but it didn’t entirely seem like it.  

You decided that you wanted to go back outside and settle yourself back in your spot on the patio chair next to Robin, and you also really wanted another drink. The idea of blurring your thoughts for the rest of the night didn’t sound like the worst idea ever.  

You made your way to the stairs and before you even started heading down, you spotted Eddie walking up. He easily noticed you too and he smiled before meeting you at the top of the stairs after a second. He looked at you for a moment and then his eyebrows furrowed in concern. 

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, reaching out to place a hand on your upper arm. It was such a subtle and simple action, but it still made you feel way too many things at once. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I’m fine,” You answered, giving him a weak smile, and then immediately changed the subject so that he wouldn’t question you further right then. “How’d it go with Ally? That’s her name, right?” 

“Yeah, it is. But, that ask-out completely crashed and failed because she said that she just started dating someone.” 

“Oh, sorry,” You told him, not because you actually felt it, but because it simply felt like the right thing to say at that moment. 

“It’s fine,” Eddie shrugged. “What’s the dumb saying? There’s other fish in the sea or whatever.”

You let out a forced kind of laugh. “Yup, right.” 

“You sure you’re okay?”

For a second, you considered lying again; it would’ve been the best and simplest thing to do. You could’ve said that you weren’t feeling well and you needed to just head back outside and get some air— you should’ve just said that. But then, suddenly, all you could think was fuck it.

“I can’t do this.” 

He looked at you, confused. “Do what?”

“Be friends with you. I can’t go back to how things were with us before we dated. And I know that I have been doing it for the past two months, but I can’t anymore.”

“But, we decided—”

“I know,” You interrupted him. “I know what we decided, but that doesn’t mean that it’s been easy to do this. To just turn off my feelings and pretend that I’m not still in love with you.”

Surprisingly, it actually felt good to finally be honest about everything that you had forced yourself to bury over the past few months. It felt as if a weight was being lifted off of your shoulders. 

“It’s not easy for me either.” 

You couldn’t help but scoff and roll your eyes at Eddie’s words. “Yeah, because talking to Ally out there looked really painful and hard for you.” 

“That doesn’t…” He trailed off as he shook his head. “That doesn’t mean anything. I promise. It doesn’t mean that I don’t miss you, or us.” 

“Then why are we even doing this right now? What’s the point?”

You two had somehow moved away from the stairs and instead were standing further down the hallway, closer to the bathroom that you had left barely two minutes ago. 

“I just,” Eddie began and then sighed. “I know it’s gonna hurt like hell letting you go in a few months, and maybe doing it this way is easier. It’s not at all easy, but maybe it’s better? I don’t know. Most of the time it feels so fucking stupid, and I feel like an idiot for what I did that night… But, maybe it was the right thing to do.”

You considered his words for a moment. Just like that night two months ago, a part of you could recognize that he was at least a little right. But, this time you decided against leaning into the small part of you that wanted to simply agree with him because it made things seem “easy.”

“You know me,” You ultimately said, stepping a little closer and finding his hand. “I overthink everything. I think about every possible outcome for any and every situation. But, this is the one thing that I don’t want to think that far ahead about. And maybe that’s stupid. And maybe we will end up feeling terribly heartbroken at the end of the summer, and we’ll regret not just leaving things like they are right now. But, I’d rather that, than to keep pretending that everything is fine and normal. Somehow that feels so much worse. Why can’t we just enjoy this, us, for what it is before we have to give it up?”

Eddie didn’t say anything at first and that worried you. You braced yourself for the inevitable rejection, and you were already telling yourself that you would be okay with it because at least you tried this time around— you had finally said the words that you wished you’d said that night. 

But then he was kissing you. It was abrupt and sudden and you hadn’t seen it coming, even though it was exactly what you wanted to happen. He was pulling his hand away from yours and immediately reaching up to cup your face in both of his hands. They were cold, but you still felt as if you were on fire. 

It was probably only him that could affect you this much and this easily. You didn’t realize how much you missed the feel of his mouth on yours and how much you missed having him close to you in this way until it was finally, finally happening again. 

Your mind briefly traveled back to the last time this happened. It was the night before the breakup and the two of you were smoking weed in your backyard, sandwiched together in one patio chair instead of sitting in separate ones because it just felt right to do, and the close proximity allowed your lips to easily find his.

“I love you,” Eddie mumbled against your mouth now, which also reminded you of that last time. “I’m sorry I made us lose the past two months.”

Your hands were fisting themselves into his black t-shirt, pulling him impossibly closer to you. “It’s okay. Doesn’t matter.”

And technically, it really didn’t, at least not in your head. You were just glad to be here in this moment with him. It wasn’t too late. You two still had time. 

“It’ll be okay,” You told him in between kisses. Maybe you two should have found a bedroom or simply moved anywhere that was out of the dark hallway and away from potential prying eyes, but that didn’t feel like the most important thing to do right then. “Whatever happens in the end. It’ll be okay.” 

Eddie was nodding as he pressed you back against the wall and his hands dropped to your waist. “Okay.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know ur thoughts<333

[nkogneatho]

pasi do you think iwaizumi had a slut era when he was at college in california >.> 🎤

—cw: fem!reader, slight cockwarming, nicknames, both reader and iwa are kinda dominating.

absolutely!!! he was a hot shot in high school, but with all the burning teen passion in him, he never really put that much emphasis and importance on romance.

but as soon as iwa went to a new country, something in him shifted. yeah, he was still very career oriented but the foreign air had gotten to him. no one can deny he looks hot. And those biceps???!! helloo?!! all the girls at his university were obsessed with him. he didn't show it at first but he liked the attention. the rude and tough personality was now easing in into a more flirtatious and smug one.

it boosted his ego. especially when he found there was an ongoing rumor about the size of his cock among all the girls in the university. he'd become such a slut, fucking girls left and right. one of his moves were to ask the girl if they woukd tutor him (knowing damn well he has the textbooks inked in his brain), and then lure them in with his sweet words. then fuck them. there were times (a lot of times), his roommate walked in on him with every new chick.

but it got on his nerves that out of all the girls in the uni, why were you not interested in him. he had tried to hit on you a few times but all you did was ignore or replied with sarcasm. it's not that you didn't find him hot. he was packed. you just didn't want to fuel his ego and become a nobody the next day. you wanted to leave an imprint on his mind.

so now when he had you on top of him, he was salivating. his big torso casting a shadow in the nightlight on the bed.

"c'mon. I didn't ask you to shut up. tell me the answer, hajime," you cooed.

"demand analysis is—fuck!" his speech struggled as you clenched your pussy around his dick. "just move goddamit."

"answer me first. or have you become too much if a slut that your brain cannot remember anything else?" your tone taunting. he tried to furrow his brows in fury at being called slut but the way his cock twitched inside you, you knew he liked that remark.

"fuck this shit." he threw the textbook off your hand to the other side of the bed and grabbed you by your hips. you moaned when he picked you yp before slamming you down on him.

"anh! this—this isn't fair. you didn't answer," you closed your eyes, still complaining.

"shut up, princess or i won't let you come." His hips had started catching up to a desired pace.

"fuckfuck!ugh! what—oh what about the test?"

"i know everything. i called you over to fuck this pretty pussy." you knew it was going to happen. you came with the same intention. you don't wear a matching set on any normal day. you threw him further on the bed, his back hitting the plain. your hands placed each on the either side if his pelvis bone.

"i knew you were a slut, iwaizumi hajime," you angled yourself in such a way that your clit would rub against his skin as his dick is busy plunging deep inside you. "good thing i know how to use a slut."

[mymoodwriting]

Request for Anon (Yandere Werewolf!Wonwoo) 3.4k, yandere, ABO dynamics, aggressive behavior, supernatural, kidnapping, restraints, biting, blood (@starillusion13)

“Ignore the Sigma House.”

It was your first day of uni and you were following a student tour guide around campus. Your whole group were incoming freshmen, all of you bright eyed and unaware of what uni was really like. After the initial tour you wound up at the involvement fair, a place where all the clubs and sports gathered around to recruit new people. Of course this also included the fraternities and sororities. You were all allowed to go your own way as this was the end of the tour, but your tour guide did warn you to avoid the Sigma House.

“Those guys are just a bunch of animals.”

The warning did nothing to help as those same people overheard and came over to greet all the freshmen. They were super energetic and welcoming, going to show maybe the tour guide had a personal bias they were pushing on you.

“… ha… hi…”

You didn’t notice someone had approached you until you heard a nervous greeting, turning around to find a tall boy with glass giving you an awkward smile.

“Hello…”

“You’re really pretty.”

“Ah, thank you.”

“Uh… so, I’m Wonwoo, and the Sigma house is-”

“I’m y/n, and I’m a girl, and Sigma is a fraternity, right? Which means boys only.”

“Right, right, sorry…”

“It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll find some great guys to recruit. I’m gonna check out the rest of the fair.”

“Yeah, yeah, have fun.”

“You too.”

As you said, you took a look at all the tables at the involvement fair, signing up for a few things to get freebies, and thinking of giving them a shot down the line. When you finished with all that you went off to your dorm, needing to unpack, and still get some boxes moved in. While moving around you ended up bumping into Wonwoo.

“Hello again.”

“Oh, hi, what are you doing here? Don’t you dorm in the frat house?”

“Yeah, yeah, we just like to help others, especially when it comes to moving into the dorm.”

“Ah…”

Without asking he took one of the boxes you had and gestured for you to lead the way. You weren’t going to deny some help, so he followed you as you got all your things to your dorm and the two of you started to get to know each other.

“What year are you?”

“Junior.”

“Oh wow, halfway there.”

“You can say that.”

“Do you like this place?”

“The professors are good, and there are plenty of resources to take advantage of. I think you’ll like it.”

“This was one of my top choices, but this will be my first time living alone. Well, not completely alone as I have a roommate but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah. It’s something else, but I’m lucky to have my brothers looking out for me.”

“Brothers? Oh, you mean the frat house.”

“Yup. You know, we are having a party tonight to celebrate all the new people. It’s open to everyone. You should come by. It’s a great way to socialize and meet new people.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“If you come by-”

“Wonwoo!”

You were startled as someone shouted, seeing another boy come over and grab Wonwoo. He offered you a smile, but said nothing as he pulled Wonwoo away. 

“I’ll see you at the party!” Wonwoo yelled. “Bye now.”

“Bye.”

It was kinda weird that someone just showed up and dragged Wonwoo away, but you figured it was probably one of his frat brothers who needed him for something. Now that it was just you it was much easier to unpack and get your things all set up. While you were doing that you met your roommate, Misu. You helped her with her things and you both began to get acquainted with one another. You also used the time to mention any allergies or rules you kinda wanted to set down.

“So, I heard the Sigma house is throwing a party, you in?”

“I don’t know…”

“The rumor is they throw the best parties.”

You really weren’t one for parties, but in the end Misu ended up convincing you to go with. You had nothing else to do, so it wasn’t a bad thing in any way. You weren’t sure what to expect, but there were certainly a lot of people. The atmosphere was definitely vibrant and alive, everyone around seeming to be having a good time. Unlike yourself, Misu was a social butterfly, immediately engaging with people. You felt more awkward than anything else. It wasn’t long before Misu disappeared from sight and you were alone.

You thought to hang around for a while, going into the house and looking around. You didn’t see Wonwoo though, figured he was busy with others anyway. This was his party so he probably had things to do. After a while you dipped, preferring to take in the campus at night before returning to your dorm. Tomorrow was day one, and you wanted to be well rested. Going by the noises around you, that wouldn’t be the case for others. It would take some getting used to all this, the bed and atmosphere, but this was what you wanted. Eventually you’d get used to it all, but you had to take it one day at a time.

🖤

It wasn’t exactly easy to sleep that first night, but you were ready for the first day. There wasn’t much to expect though. As freshmen, and this being your first week, it was all mostly syllabus talk and class expectations. So you were just going from one to another, which was honestly kind of boring, and that’s how the whole week went.

“Y/n.”

After one of your classes you heard your name, surprised to find Wonwoo waving you over. He had been waiting for you.

“Hey, how are you?”

“Good. I missed you at the party.”

“Yeah, sorry, I was tied up.” Wonwoo explained. “How’s the first week going?”

“Oh you know, the usual, just going over class stuff. No real learning just yet, although I do need a partner for-”

“I’ll do it.”

You chuckled. “Wonwoo, you’re not in my class. I need a project partner.”

“Ah, right, right…”

It was kinda funny to see how Wonwoo got. He was probably shy around you, but still making an effort to talk to you. Although you had no idea how he found you. The campus was huge and you were going back and forth all day. Guess he got lucky.

“You know… we’re having another party at the end of the month.”

“Wow, guess you guys do party a lot.”

“No, not really, but this next one is to celebrate getting past the drop out deadline, meaning you are committing to your classes. Or at least intend to.”

“I see. Well, I’ll think about it.”

You started running into Wonwoo more often. He liked talking to you, and he also checked in with you, asking if you needed help with anything. He was very sweet, especially that time he brought you a smoothie. Besides keeping you company and making you feel less alone, he really did let you know about all the best places around campus. You knew where to go when you really needed to focus, and what the best drinks on campus were. To you he was like your unofficial mentor, making it easier for you to adjust to uni life. Of course you didn’t always have time for him, but he did his best to be around.

“Hey, y/n!”

You heard Wonwoo shout for you, finding him in the crowd and waving over to him. Before you could get to him you noticed someone else grab him and try to drag him off. You could see a little altercation going on, but couldn’t make anything out. In the end they dragged Wonwoo off and you were left a bit confused. You figured he had something important he had neglected. You didn’t think too much about it until you were approached by someone else.

“You’re y/n, right?”

“Uh… why?”

“Keep away from Wonwoo.”

“What? Who are you to-”

“You’re a distraction for him and he needs to focus on his studies.”

“I don’t understand. Doesn’t he balance-”

“He has responsibilities, and you’re just getting in his way. For both your sakes, I suggest you avoid him.”

“But-”

“We’re not gonna let some freshmen mess him up, got it?”

“I… I’m sorry… I didn’t know…”

“Just stay away from him.”

“Okay…”

You really couldn’t understand why things had gotten so serious, but you tried to make sense of it. After all, Wonwoo was part of a fraternity, those people tended to take the brotherhood seriously, and look out for one another. Not to mention they had all kinds of codes and rules among themselves. You didn’t see Wonwoo for a while after that incident, but soon enough you ran into him again. The first thing that came to mind was his tall friend cornering you and telling you to stay away. Despite seeing Wonwoo, and probably making eye contact, you ducked your head down and tried to get lost in the crowd. That didn’t work though as Wonwoo chased you down and grabbed your arm.

“Hey, I was calling you.”

“I have to get to my next class…”

“You have a free period right now.”

“Look, I don’t wanna cause trouble or be a burden to you, so can you please let go.”

“A burden? Who said that?”

“I appreciate you looking out for me, but I can take care of myself.”

Those words seemed to piss him off as his grip on your arm got tighter. You whimpered and asked him to let you go, but he did no such thing.

“Who told you all this?”

“Wonwoo-”

“Who? Did one of my brothers say something to you?”

“No one said-”

“Don’t lie to me. Who?”

“I don’t know… he was tall… and told me to stop being a distraction…”

“They are unbelievable.” Wonwoo hissed. “Come on.”

“Huh? Wait, Wonwoo, where are you taking me?”

He didn’t answer you, instead pulling you along. By now the crowd had basically disappeared, and no one cared to get involved with the scene. That is until a few other boys came by and pulled Wonwoo away. You expected there to be some arguing, but instead Wonwoo threw a punch. You stumbled back a few steps as the group of boys began to grab Wonwoo and basically try to restrain him. One told you to leave, but you were kinda frozen in place from the shock.

“I told you to leave!”

The guy shoved you with enough force to knock you down. It was so unexpected you ended up scrapping your hands, drawing a bit of blood. You whimpered, taking a look at your injury when you heard a growl. Your vision snapped over to see Wonwoo fighting against his friends, his eyes locked on you. For a moment you swear his eyes changed, but next thing you knew someone was in your field of vision and helping you up. They took hold of your arm and pulled you away from the scene. You tried to look back, still wondering what it was you had seen, but you couldn’t see Wonwoo clearly anymore.

The person who took you away from the scene brought you over to one of the gender neutral bathrooms on campus. Without saying anything he began to attend to your cuts, cleaning them up and getting the first aid kit to properly wrap them. They weren’t harsh, which you were grateful for, although they didn’t seem that friendly either. This wasn’t the guy who had come to see you before and told you to stay away from Wonwoo. Still, the silence was awkward and you had to at least thank him. It seemed like he was reading your mind as he spoke before you got the chance.

“I don’t need a thank you, but you were told to avoid him.”

“I… I tried… but he-”

“We know. We’ll keep a better eye on him.”

“Okay… can I at least know your name?”

“Jeonghan.”

“And all you guys are from Sigma, right?”

“Yes.”

“So-”

“Enough. Make sure to check on the wound so it doesn’t get infected.”

With that said Jeonghan left the restroom. You hung around for a moment, collecting your thoughts. It seemed they would keep their word as you didn’t see Wonwoo for weeks. You figured they finally got it through his head that it was a bad idea to hang around a freshman. It did suck as it felt like losing a friend, but you had also been using him as an excuse not to socialize. One friend was enough, or at least you told yourself, but it would be better to have friends your own age who are going through similar things as you.

You got into your own rhythm with school work and social activities. Before you knew it midterms had arrived. Of course your roommate had mentioned some parties, some hosted by Sigma, but you skipped out on them. The alcohol and loud music and possible drugs and one night stand objectives wasn’t really you. Besides, you’d be more likely to run into Wonwoo if you went out partying. You didn’t think you were missing anything. Most nights you’d head over to the library for some studying. It was always quiet once the sun went down, that is unless you walked by a party.

“Y/n.”

You didn’t even stop to look, just picking up the pace but you heard footsteps right behind you, and soon enough a hand grabbed your arm and turned you around.

“Don’t walk away from me.”

“Please leave me alone.”

“Look, I need to apologize.”

“Apologize?”

“My brothers crossed the line with threats, and shouldn’t have involved themselves.”

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been gone for days now… I mean I don’t know your schedule or anything, but you’ve been okay, right?”

“Yeah… I’m fine.”

“Then we can part ways.”

“What?”

“You really helped me adjust to campus life, but your brothers are clearly worried about you, and I don’t want to get in the way of anything.”

“You’re not. I-”

“Your brothers don’t want us to socialize, and I’m gonna respect that.”

“Fuck them.”

“What?”

“They don’t know anything! I’m not just gonna leave you alone cause they said so. I want to get to know you and be your friend, your closest confidant, and they’re not-”

“Wonwoo, do you hear yourself? What is going on with you!? Cause you’re not the person I met.”

“I’m fine, we’re fine, so can we just move past this and-”

“No!” 

You tried to get yourself free from Wonwoo, but his grip was firm. As you struggled his hold only got tighter, and it started to hurt.

“Wonwoo… let go… you’re hurting me…”

“I’m not gonna let them get in between us again.”

“Wonwoo, what are you talking about? It’s my decision-”

“It’s not! They’ve said stupid shit and you believe them.”

“It doesn’t matter if I do, I don’t want to be around you.”

“You… you don’t mean that…”

“Wonwoo, please let go. Maybe we can talk later or-”

“No, there is no later. When they realize I snuck out and-”

“You snuck out? See, your brothers are worried about you.”

“They don’t care, they’re just getting in the way.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Us. You’re coming with me.”

“Wonwoo, I’m not going anywhere with-”

“I’m not asking.”

Now you were panicking and really trying to free yourself, but Wonwoo wouldn’t budge. He began to drag you along with him, but you fought him. Although when you started screaming he pulled you close. You could barely register what was happening until he had your back pressed against his chest, and he was forcing your mouth open while he poured some liquid down your throat. You tried not to swallow, but you soon began to feel dizzy, your vision starting to go dark.

“… wonwoo…”

🖤

As you began to regain consciousness the first thing you felt was cold. You opened your eyes to darkness, and even once you adjusted to the light there wasn’t much to see. You apparead to be in some kind of concrete room, like a basement. You were sitting on a mattress and then you realized the chain around your ankle. Panic started to build up and you tried to get the restraint off, but it was no use. You couldn’t do much else but scream for help, hoping someone would hear you. The only way out was the door, but you soon realized you couldn’t get anywhere near it. You were about to scream again when you heard voices.

They were approaching fast, and it seemed to be some kind of commotion. You quickly backed up, tripping over the chain and collapsing onto the mattress. When the door opened you were momentarily blinded by the light. Although once you could see again the scene before you didn’t make much sense. A group of boys threw Wonwoo into the room, yelling at him to get his head on straight and calm down. In response Wonwoo growled back, making an attempt to escape, only to get thrown back in. You locked eyes with him, seeing them glow in a strange way which struck fear into you. That’s when everyone else became aware of your presence but it was far too late. 

Wonwoo scrambled over to you, pulling you into his arms and nuzzling your neck. You went still, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. Your eyes were wide with fear and the others had come into the room, all of them in disbelief as well. They tried to get Wonwoo to let you go, only for him to snap back at them and bite one of them. You saw blood spill on the floor, trying to cower away but then Wonwoo pulled you close again, this time getting behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. He had your back pressed against his chest, nuzzling the crook of your neck once more as he breathed in your scent.

“Wonwoo, let her go!”

“How the fuck did she get in here?” One asked. “When?”

“Wonwoo!”

“She’s my mate.” Wonwoo growled. “She can’t leave!”

“He’s in a fucken rut right now, he’s not thinking straight.”

“I told you guys we shouldn’t have let him out!”

“Then what were we supposed to do with him?”

“Someone go get Seungcheol and Jeonghan.”

“What’s going on…” You mumbled. “I… I don’t…”

“Y/n, right? Everything’s going to be okay.”

One of the boys tried to get close, only for Wonwoo to growl and his hold over you to get tighter. You could feel something digging into your arms, looking down to see Wonwoo had claws and they were digging into your skin.

“Let go!” You cried. “Please, please, Wonwoo…”

“It’s okay.” He whined. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

“You’re hurting me…”

“I’m sorry… I don’t mean to…”

“Please, just let go.”

“But then you’ll try to leave.”

“I won’t run away, I promise.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Wonwoo let out a whine, pressing soft kisses onto your shoulder, then you felt the pain. You screamed as he dug his teeth into your flesh, feeling the blood run down your arm. The guys really started to panic then, yelling at Wonwoo to stop and desperately trying to get you away from him. One of them broke the chain that was around your ankle, and the managed to get you out of Wonwoo’s grasp. They pinned him to the ground, a handful of them using their own weight to keep him still. By then your vision had gotten blurry and you could barely stand on your own. You collapsed to the floor, the world spinning around you. Your breaths were heavy and labored as you tried to calm yourself down.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, what do we do?”

“The fuck happened!?”

“Don’t yell at us, Seungcheol! Yell at Wonwoo!”

“You were also supposed to watch him.”

You could barely make out the gentleman in your field of view. He was trying to talk to you but his voice sounded so far away from you. His hand hovered over your bite mark, looking it over.

“Is the bite gonna take?”

“I’m not sure. Wonwoo, what the fuck!?”

Seungcheol and the others looked back at Wonwoo. He had stopped struggling but was merely watching everything. Once he realized all eyes were on him he smiled, showing his bloody teeth proudly.

“Mine.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my friend to stop telling me about his achievements?

I'll refer to this friend as Jason for simplicity's sake. Also, we're both autistic, in case you think that changes things in some ways I haven't been able to see.

Jason (21m) and I (21m) have been friends for about 6 years, we met each other at a school that's well-known for being hard to get into and stuff. He finished studying there and I didn't, I never learned how to study so I struggled there a bit. I messed up my papers so I also had to restart, making me be 1 year behind him. That solidified in his head that I'm an idiot.

I know that's a bold claim, but he has made it clear that that's what he thinks, specially when he said that there's nothing wrong with me not being smart because I am the most emotionally intelligent person he knows. Nowadays I'm better about it, but before, my intelligence was the only thing that made me me, so, of course, that hurt; I just went along with it, tho, because I didn't want to seem annoying or something.

I started uni some time during the start of the pandemic, things went alright, but then they wanted us to go back irl and I wasn't confident enough on the whole having learned anything that I decided to stop and go back later just one semester in; though what convinced me was that I was incredibly suicidal and figured it'd probably be best if I took a break and came back after some therapy.

Now, Jason had some self-esteem problems regarding intelligence himself around this point, thinking that he was lesser because he struggled in places were his other friends didn't. I refrained from telling him I felt the same before because I knew it would be dismissed or worse, seen as me telling him that he was indeed lesser by having similar problems to me *because* I am dumber than him.

Instead, I told him he was obviously smart, here you can imagine what I said. At this point I became the person he would go to to talk about school, when he struggled to reassure himself, when he did good to celebrate with someone who wasn't one of his other friends that might've seen that as something not worth celebrating. Occasionally he talked down to me as if expecting me to not understand certain concepts, but I ignored it because my emotions weren't important at the moment.

Now, I became a neet for almost 3 years and felt like complete shit about it the entire time, and Jason kept coming to me with the most recent news about whatever's going on in his life. I tried to not complain about my life and be supportive of him, but it started to get more and more grating the worse I felt and the better life went for him, paired with the occasional mention or allusion to me being dumb, I stopped talking mid conversation until I cooled off and could reply to him again.

I got a job fairly recently, Jason came with news about how he might go study abroad and I just can't stand it. I'd like to tell him to stop talking about this kinda stuff until I'm in a better place, maybe after going with a therapist that doesn't make me feel like shit and I go back to school, but I know he just wants to celebrate with someone. I'm happy for him, I truly am, but it's difficult to not compare your life to others, and right now I really am not the happiest comparing myself to him.

TLDR; I'm salty that my friend is living a better life than me and wish he would stop talking to me about his achievements until I feel in control of my own life.

What are these acronyms?

[angelicjungwon]

lee heeseung - poetry, coffee & lips

plot: managing university and work at the same time was hard, especially since you barely have any time for yourself. you spend most of your free days at the library studying or reading books for your entertainment while enjoying a cup of coffee all by yourself until one day a handsome boy around your age started joining you.

tw: mentions of feeling alone, kinda cringy cliche romance, mentions of a spicy book scene

word count: 1115 words

an: i try writing all my stories gender neutral!

i love the idea of heeseung being into books and academics. maybe a part two?

—

you loved being at university for many reasons.

you enjoyed studying, you loved learning new things and getting to look up stuff you have never heard before, feeling smarter after every little information you learned.

you enjoyed challenging yourself, trying to get better grades, making your notes look pretty and being the one whom people ask to burrow their notes from.

you loved meeting new people, joking about lectures and professors.

most of your friends disliked university.

they dropped out, or don‘t have the energy to study, which was very understandable to you.

you weren‘t the one to judge them, it wasn‘t easy managing uni and work at the same time, it was easy to get lost in everything.

however you enjoyed it a lot.

you didn‘t go to university right away. you worked for a few years, training in a job you enjoyed and once you got the degree you decided it was time for another degree, you wanted to work for the best life you could possibly get.

there were times where you felt alone. you didn‘t have anyone to join you on your late night library visits and after uni coffee trips.

it wasn‘t like you didn‘t have friends, yet most of them went their own ways, having a life to live that just didn‘t have time for you these days. some too busy at work, some even already having babies and getting married.

it was just that time of life where people start going separate ways.

sometimes you liked being alone.

sometimes you wished you had a friend to spend time with.

even if it was in silence.

it was one of those fridays again. you had two days off, your uni friends asking if you‘d like to join them on a trip around different parties, however you declined as usual. you knew they already expected you to say now, yet polite enough to ask you so you wouldn‘t feel left out.

while everyone was making their way to some parties, you made your way to your favourite local coffee shop and got yourself some way to sugary coffee, but that‘s how you liked it. you already had a book on yourself that you wanted to finish in the library, before burrowing a new one. you recently found joy in reading again, you haven‘t had time to do so in a while, but ever since you started again, you had a hard time stopping yourself from disappearing into the world of hopeless romances and cliché love stories.

you sat down in your favourite spot, library almost empty, only a few stressed souls studying for upcoming exams and lectures. you placed your coffee in front of you as you laid down the book you were currently reading. another one about love, as if you were trying to torture yourself by reading about what you wished you had.

but sometimes wishes do come true, right?

all you wanted was someone who had similar interests as you, someone who loved the little things in life and was passionate about the things he loved and did. someone who had hobbies and interests that they would talk about with such joy, that it would make you excited as well. you gave up on that wish though. sometimes you felt like you were romanticising everything a little too much, but that‘s just how you are.

„that book must be amazing.“ a voice interrupted you, making you turn your head to the side to see where it was coming from. it was a tall boy, around your age, maybe a little younger or a little older, it was hard to tell. the colour palette of his clothing items was very pleasing to you, browns and beige, something you enjoyed a lot, as it fit the aesthetic of the library a lot. his glasses sitting low on his nose, as he flashed you a smile.

„hm?“ you asked, making him chuckle.

„i tried talking to you but you were so focussed on reading, i assume the book must be amazing. mind telling me what it‘s about? i‘m looking for something new as well.“ he quietly replied as he sat down next to you.

„oh it‘s just a very romantic novel. the cliché kind of best friend to lover situation, however i prefer the other cliché, enemies to lovers, a bit more. nevertheless, the book is written beautifully, i love how the protagonist is oblivious to how beautiful she must be. the book really makes you rethink about beauty standards and different perspectives on beauty, plus she‘s really funny. her best friend is very obviously in love with her however she does not seem to understand and constantly beats the shit out of him… excuse my language.“ you said, causing him to laugh.

„sounds good to me, i like cliché lovestories as well, might read it once you‘re finished… my name is Heeseung by the way!“ he lifted his hand for you to shake. you took it in your own and smiled back at him.

„my name is (y/n), nice to meet you! i‘m almost done reading, i‘m not gonna spoiler you too much but there is a spicy scene in the last third of the book, just warning you.“ you replied, raising a brow at him.

„that explains why you were so focussed when i tried talking to you.“ he joked, making you blush a little. „oh god no!…. i read that part at my dorm.“ you muttered, wiggling your brows at him, once again making him laugh.

„you‘re very funny, (y/n). i‘ve noticed you come here quiet a lot and pretty late. are you studying here at this campus or are you just a lonely soul?“ he asked.

you leaned back in your seat and nodded. „both,“ you replied, flashing him a smile, „i study and work, this place here is my escape from everything.“ he leaned back himself as well, his eyes never leaving yours as you spoke, making you nervous.

„and… uhm… you?“ you asked.

„basically same. i spend my free time here or at my friends place, making music. we recently discovered that our voices match perfectly. i didn‘t even know he could sing until he took a shower… not that i watched him shower, i just listened to him. wait that sounds weird too. i‘m sure you know what i mean, i don‘t casually listen to my friends shower.“ he said, making you laugh.

„no worries, and even if you and your friends do that, i‘m not the one to judge.“ you grinned, making him flash you a smile for what felt like the 100th time.

„you have a beautiful smile by the way.“

[evansbby]

my vanderpump rules season 2 midway opinions! (I’ve watched all the way up till the Cabo trip aka episode 11!! And so much has happened that i just need to share my views before i forget!

Stassi — i literally love this girl! She is so entertaining to watch and she is such a girl’s girl and honestly her confidence is goals! You can also tell that she’s really smart too and i love how fiercely she sticks up for herself and her friends! She’s literally my fav and also she’s sooo pretty!

Jax - guys I can’t even with this guy… like at this point it’s just funny how big of a loser he is. Like I don’t think I’ve seen anyone exude more pure loser energy. And I don’t know if he’s putting it on to make the show entertaining or if he genuinely is this much of a genuine pathetic loser but the way he acts is insane 😭 like this man is a pathological liar, like even his own friends aka the Toms and Peter are done with his shit. It’s the way Ariana said she can’t even be mad at Jax for spreading shit about her bc he’s so pathetic 😭😂 the way he was bringing the mood down in Cabo, bringing all those random girls. Like atp Stassi is literally embarrassed that she ever went out with this guy 😭 and his behaviour is so embarrassing for a 33 year old man PLS. Also the way he spreads stuff and then lies and pretends it never happened is crazy. This man needs to be studied. Oh and he also has a victim complex and wants people to feel sorry for him and I love how Stassi never falls for it and clocks it every time 😂

Tom Sandoval - guys I can’t tell with him… I still think he’s giving unhinged energy but like… I really can’t tell!!! I can’t tell what he wants, whether he wants to be with Kristen or anything!! I definitely think he did sleep with Ariana tho! But don’t spoil it for me!! He’s hot tho. It’s just the way he straight-faced denies everything… bro the men in this show are all pathological liars!!!

Kristen - she’s really weak. Like genuinely Tom cheated on her a bunch of times and she still went back to him?!? She’s one of those girls who assures her girlfriends that she’s over a man, and then throws her girlfriends under the bus and runs back to the same man who hurt her! It’s just sad and pathetic to watch.

Katie - her hair is so annoying like I cannot! The brassy blonde with her dark roots coming in and the aggressive side part??? It’s so annoying pls. Also she’s kinda bleh. She does get really messy when she’s drunk though. I did feel for her when her boyfriend poured a drink over her head like she needs to dump him! Why are all the men in this show literal trash?!

Scheana - she’s so boring 😭 like she needs to be studied too tho bc I think she’s obsessed with Stassie 😭😭 like she hates Stassie but she also wants to BE Stassie but she also wants to be Stassie’s bff??!? And the thing is, Scheana keeps sticking up for Stassie but Stassie always picks Kristen and Katie over Scheana yet Scheana keeps blindly supporting Stassie 😂😭 it’s kinda tragic to watch. But also she’s kinda weird how she made that gangbang comment in the car with all the guys including her boyfriend?!? Like wtf. Also how she called herself “one of the guys” like pls Scheana you’re giving pick me energy. Stassie said it perfectly, that she doesn’t trust a girl who can’t get along with a group of girls and hangs out with guys instead. Although I do think Kristen and Katie are unnecessarily mean to Scheana.

Ariana - I really don’t like her :/ and if she DID sleep with Tom after denying it, then that’s fucked up. But I don’t like how she also acts like a pick me, thinking she’s sooo much better than the other girls bc she’s that one “chill” girl like no fuck off. She just thinks she’s so superior but unlike Stassie, she doesn’t own it and just comes across as a pick me.

ANYWAYS I LOVE THIS SHOW SOOO MUCH! I can’t believe I never watched it before, it’s literally so relatable to me since I worked at a restaurant for four years almost when I was at uni!!!

[skytooru]

SEIJOH FIGHTERS

tooru oikawa x fem!reader

warnings. heavy depiction of violence, death, guns, kidnapping, angst, drugs, alcohol/intoxication, physical assault, blood/injuries

a/n. Excuse my grammar and all that, English is not my first language and I haven’t written anything in ages :,) kinda inspired by minghuaa’s fighter au art on Twitter!

series masterlist + chapter 2

y/n’s pov

It´s a nice summer night. I´m on my way home from a birthday party with my parents, driving through the city of Buenos Aires, watching the few passing cars and all the buildings around us through the window of the car. By this time, the city seems empty almost, as if everyone has left without leaving a single trail. It´s quiet and calm. I only hear the soft roaring of the engine and a faint voice coming from the radio in the front part of the car.

My mother has been quiet almost the entire ride back home, just like my dad in the driver´s seat. They´re probably tired, just like me. Everything seems so peaceful, until i hear a faint „bang“, just as i was closing my eyes to rest until we reach our home. I rip my eyes open and i see my dad pulling on the staring wheel in panic, my mom also wide awake, screaming at him.

„WHAT WAS THAT“

„I don´t know! A tyre ripped, Im losing control over the car!“

I couldn’t do anything but watch my father try to regain control over the damaged car. I feel paralyzed, numb and mute all at the same time. Everything seems so distant and dull as i watch the car forcing him to steer onto the pavement, my mom´s screams in my ear. I can see tears in her eyes as i listen to her begging for my dad to do something. It feels like time stands still as i hear another loud bang, and a second one following from the other side. All of this happened in the span of a few seconds, but for me it felt like hours.

I sit up straight in my seat in the back of the car as I hear glass shattering and shards flying through the air. Both of my parents turn silent, my dad´s hands dropping lifelessly into his lap. The car keeps driving and the moment it hits a lantern, I wake up. I’m drenched in sweat, screaming at the top of my lungs.

It´s been a few months since it happened. Since someone shot our car and then both of my parents. Since i lost everything i had in one night. My parents, my home, my happiness.

I let a few weeks pass, taking care of the injuries I gained from the accident. I fell into a deep hole of misery and depression. I pushed all my responsibilities such as uni, my friends and people I care about to the back of my mind and completely isolated myself. The time that has passed since the death of my parents has felt like years, even though it has only been a few months.

People have tried to reach out to me, concerned about my physical and mental health, but I stayed stubborn, not letting anyone into my bubble of sadness. Nightmares have been torturing me but then it suddenly all stopped. I managed to get a grip and get back to life. But not here. Not in this hell of a city. Not on this hell of a country.

I need a break. A restart even, so I took all the money I had, including everything I have inherited from my mom and dad and started a new life in Tokyo. My real home.

My parents and I moved from Japan to Argentina a couple of years ago, due to my father finding a new job over there. Even though I missed my friends and the rest of my family, i loved being in Buenos Aires, but i couldn’t keep living there for the life of me. The images of my parents kept following me everywhere i went. Everything seemed to be connected to them.

I fled here to escape the nightmares and the deep depression i fell into, back there. I needed to restart life, gain new hope, make more good memories to suppress the thoughts of my parents, especially the images of them lying there in the car, lifeless, drenched in blood, holes i their heads. Just thinking about it sends chills down my spine.

One thing i did not want to replace with something new was my passion for fighting, especially MMA. My dad has been teaching me to kickbox since I was a child. It’s one of the few things that connect us. We had a very strong bond and a great relationship, maybe even through our shared hobby.

He taught some teenagers besides me to fight, though, i never really had much contact to them. I only remember one boy, but i cant really recall what he looked like or what his name was.

Now here I am, lying in my new bed in my new apartment in my old new home, Tokyo.

I look at the clock that’s sitting on my nightstand.

05:00 AM

fuck, i have to get up in one hour

Fuck it. I get out of bed and head straight towards the bathroom. I wash my face with cold water and apply some moisturizer to calm down my skin from unknowingly crying in my sleep.

„I thought i was over that shit“ i mumble under my breath.

The nightmares have stopped after some time, but they’ve been coming back the past few nights, probably due to the stress im going through because of university right now.

I make my way to the kitchen aisle standing on the other side of my apartment. It’s not very big, but its not small either. When looking from the entrance door, there’s a bathroom right on the left and the bedroom on the right side, at the end of the small hallway is an open space. Towards the left there’s a kitchen with a cooking island and bar stools placed around it and to the right, separated with an open shelf, there’s the living area with a pretty big white leather sofa, a coffee table and a big tv mounted on the wall. Overall its a very open and bright apartment, everything in beige and other light colors and a lot of plants and simple decoration everywhere.

I get out of the bathroom and walk right into the kitchen area to make myself some coffee. While my drink is brewing i grab a banana and finish eating it, right as the coffee machine turns off. I walk over to my sofa and sit down , placing the mug right next to my MacBook sitting on the small coffee table. I have another hour before i need to leave for Uni.

Im studying pharmacy, currently in my 3rd year. Only 2 more years to go. Thank god.

Since i woke up so abruptly and knew I couldn’t get back to sleep, i decided to revise some stuff for a test this week. I sit there for a good half an hour, reading through the notes i made on the topics for the test. I have to pass it, to be able to continue my studies, which puts a lot of pressure on myself. Maybe the reason why my mental health is getting worse again.

Luckily i was able to continue my studies here in japan without having to do it all over again. Ain’t no fucking way I’m gonna go through this hell one more time. I would’ve rather dropped out and starting working as a cashier or sum. No offense to cashiers though of course.

Times Flies. It’s already noon and i make my way out of uni, to the gym down the street. It’s become my second home since I moved here and I made a few friends in the small amount of time I’ve spent here. The gym is specialized for mixed martial arts, owned by a group of friends called Nekoma boxers. Kuroo, the head of the whole thing, is a great guy, we got along quite well since the second I first set foot into the gym.

I enter the building and the familiar scent of sweat and deodorant hits me and i hear 50cent playing from the speakers.

„Yo y/n! Wassup?“

A male voice comes from the reception and as i look over there, i see a big guy with black hair look at me.

He really does look like a rooster

„´Sup Kuroo. How´ve you been? I haven’t seen you in ages.“, I smile as i walk over to him. I notice another guy with brown, soft looking hair standing next to him, staring at me with his chocolate brown eyes. He’s wearing a white compression shirt and white trackpants with teal accents.

„You’re exaggerating, I’ts been like a week“, he laughs.

„Yea that’s what i said. Ages“, I say as I finally reach the two of them, putting my bag down on the counter.

„Who’s that?“, I nod at the brown haired guy.

„Oh thats Oikawa, my friend. He just came back from Argentina. What a coincidence, eh? You both lived in Buenos Aires.“

I greet him as I swipe my membership card to check in.

„Tooru Oikawa, nice to meet you“, the guy says with a soft, charming voice.

I look back up at him, shaking the hand he stretched out to me.

„Hi, nice to meet you.“

I muster him, noticing his eyes glowing under the lights of the gym. His features are soft, but he looks good, very put together. His shoulders are broad and I look at the sleeves of the shirt he’s wearing wrapping themselves snugly around his big and toned biceps. Somehow he seems familiar but I can’t quite make out where I’ve seen him before.

My eyes wander over ro Kuroo, who’s looking at me with a knowing expression.

„Aight boys“, I clap my hands together, „enough chit chat. I have some training to do“, i say to break the silence.

„What you training?“, the guy who introduced himself as Oikawa asks me.

„I kickbox.“

„For real? Didn’t know pretty girls like you can fight“, he say with a cheeky smile on his face.

I roll my eyes at his flirty words and try to concentrate to prevent my face from turning red. fucking bastard.

I tell him about my passion and how my dad taught me how to fight, his face neutral, yet showing a spark of excitement.

„You sound pretty confident for a little girl like you. Mind showing me some moves?“

„Sure if you’re brave enough to fight me“.

I wont let a motherfucker like him mess around with me like that.

He grins at me and leaves Kuroo, who has been listening to the conversation, now excited for the fight, and me standing there at the reception and walks into the staff room.

„What a prick“, is the only thing i have to say to Tetsu, before heading to the dressing rooms. With him, preparing for the upcoming training with Oikawa.

all rights reserved 2023 - skytooru - do not repost or translate my work on any platform

[hotchs-big-hands]

Today turned out to be Pretty Bad™ stuck down very awful bad memory lane and I just wanna clarify to ppl why I may not always answer dms/asks etc. I've only really told one person on here the big details about this, and I won't go into all the details here either but it'll be enough to explain why. I hope anyway. Idk why I'm doing this.

I'll give a quick tl;dr here because it is long and also goes into very triggering topics such as self harm/suicide.

Basically I used to have a very close best friend, who I'll call shithead, back in early 2018 until late 2022 who extremely manipulative, emotionally abusive and just very overall toxic. If you've ever seen me refer to a "shithead" in tags or whatever then its about the person imma talk abt here. I was essentially the person they turned to to talk them out of doing things to themselves, if you get me. As well as a lot of other stuff. Ended up getting therapy (but not for the right reasons tbh) and also got a bad coping mechanism where I tend to not talk to people, I keep my distance and its smth I wanna tackle but it's difficult. So if you haven't heard back from me it's not cuz I don't like you, I am fighting with my brain. Also I kinda question if I actually am a good person or not because of stuff that I did in retaliation to this person.

I'll get into details now under the cut but yeah don't read if self harm/suicide/toxic dynamics are something you don't want to hear about for whatever reason.

As above, in early 2018 I used to have a different fanfic blog for a different fandom. I won't go into detail about which fandom and what the blog was but it was fairly popular. This is how I came to be friends with them. And like at the beginning it was fucking great! We became fast friends and we had a lot of shared interests. They introduced me to a lot of games, TV shows etc. But that's also where the problems started.

They were one of those types of fans. The "very possessive over certain characters" type of fan. If they liked them and had a crush on them then you couldn't do the same cuz character belonged to them. Which at the time I didn't rly like but I used to be friends with someone in high school who was also like that about characters so I assumed it was just a thing ppl did. However, it escalated to if I had a character I liked then they'd for some reason not like them and in fact hated them. This was kinda draining cuz they never wanted to talk abt stuff I liked, without actually directly saying so. They'd just shit talk them the whole time or say they hate them. So I stopped talking about what I liked. Later, they'd suddenly really like said media or characters and only then was it fine to talk about them. But in turn they'd be possessive and if I said oh okay I'll step back from them they would make me feel like I was being stupid because "no they didn't say I couldn't like them".

Anyway thats not rly the worst of it of course, the actual bad stuff is now so again, final warning for self harm/suicide. Will square off the triggering sections.

*********************

They struggled with their mental health a lot. Like a lot. I'd be there for them to listen, offer help and support because I like to take care of ppl and make sure they'll be okay. Except it escalated to them using me to talk them out of harming themself and killing themself. And this was almost everyday/night. And need I just say they were an hour ahead of me as well btw. I went to university in 2019 originally and by December I was completely burnt out because I spent every day and night making sure they didn't fucking do anything to themself. I got at most 2-3 hours of sleep a night if I was lucky and I stopped doing my hobbies and uni work because I just had no drive to do them anymore. It was clear I was also suffering mentally. I was suicidal and thinking of harming myself as well (and unfortunately I did do so a couple times). But I prioritised them. Everything was triggering for them, and I mean that. I had a long list pinned to my wall of everything I was to avoid mentioning because it would trigger them.

They never took care about my own mental health btw, which I'm not saying they HAD to but I know it was because they just didn't care. And they said as much too. They said because they are autistic they have no empathy and therefore do not feel anything about my mental health. So I suffered basically alone.

*********************

I dropped out of uni in early 2020 and in fact went home the weekend lockdown began in the UK. Things were not good. I was still trying to be support for shithead, I went to therapy and started medication for the wrong reasons. I wanted to get better so I could take care of them. Which like. Never do that. Never go to therapy so you can be someone else's therapist. Go to therapy because YOU want to be better for YOURSELF.

We were in in a bigger friendship group spread across a few discord servers and they all broke down one way or another. One instance there was an argument between shithead and a bunch of others who were comparing who had it worse during ww2. The others were Americans but were also of Jewish heritage with family who were affected by the holocaust and shithead lives in a country near where the holocaust happened with relatives who went through a famine. Either way it was just not gonna be a good conversation. Shithead left, I stayed and like I already don't rly talk to people much in groups because its overwhelming but I did do a little bit. Someone who was friends with shithead and still in the server told shithead I was talking to the others and in turn I basically betrayed shithead. Hindsight I wish I had just left the server ages before and like maybe j shouldn't have talked to the others idk. I regret it either way and think abt it a lot.

Another few shitty things I did in response to how shithead would treat me is giving them the silent treatment, giving short answers etc. I wanted them to feel bad, but it would round back to me being told I'm a coward and horrible to them. Which maybe I was but frankly I was scared of them.

*********************

Things began to rly break down when they showed me their fresh self harm wounds, blood and all, because they were "bored". I didn't talk to them for a few days and their apology wasn't much of an apology, more just making excuses again (aka I have autism so it's not my fault). I started talking less and less because by this point my brain had had enough ig and began to close off from them and just ppl in general.

*********************

In 2022 I finally returned to university and thats also when I finally stopped talking to them. A few months ago I finally blocked them on everything. However, I still struggle with communication and don't rly do it much. It's difficult to maintain friendships and I don't trust easily. I plan on going back to therapy whenever i can because this is just unresolved. But yeah idk I'm sorry to everyone who I haven't responded to, or take a long time to respond to.

One thing that is good tho is that like, after shithead I didn't enjoy anything. I didn't rly watch or hyperfixate on anything. But last year around this time I came across an Aaron Hotchner x plus size reader fic and I've been obsessed with him since!! And now here we are, got a blog and everything for a fandom finally after so long :) so it's not all bad.

But yeah that's why I struggle keeping up with messages and asks. Idk if anyone is gonna read this but if you've read this far then thank you and you mean a lot. Big hugs to yawl and I hope yawl have a lovely day, and if not then please take it easy 💖💖💖💖

[archivalofsins]

This took a bit but I hope it succinctly explains my feelings on this matter.

Without further ado-

Let's discuss Kazui

He's such a lady killer, isn't that right~

Though he's also finding the time to kill the truth as well.

I'm not saying this is the woman at the bar. However, I am in a very impolite way asking where the fuck did the woman at the bar go? We never see her eyes in Half and this woman didn't have a face there. That is notably odd.

A woman that didn't have a face before has a face now and the woman who had one in his first video is nowhere to be seen. That's just odd.

We see Kazui doing some of his favorite pastimes during cat. Drinking and smoking.

Portal Timeline

20/06/11

Mikoto: Kazu-san, do you have any hobbies? I kinda want to get into something that’s a bit more mature. The sort of thing I could still be doing 10 years from now.

Kazui: Ahh, hobbies, huh. I wonder…… Hm, I guess trawling? I have a friend with a boat, so we went out on it a lot. Other than that, I guess when I go out drinking sometimes I play darts…… On that note, do you drink?

Mikoto: Ahh, I’ve tried darts before too. Drinking, huh. I guess I can probably hold my alcohol a bit better than the average person. Back when I was a uni student I drank a lot. But…… you look like you drink a lot too, Kazu-san.

Kazui: ……can you tell? That’s probably my biggest hobby of all of them. I like drinking anything. Beer, wine, shōchū, the lot.

21/08/05  (Kazui’s Birthday)

Kazui: Oh, Shina-chan? How scandalous, coming to a man’s room in the middle of the night like this. Well, not that it’s really a room, just a cell. ……just kidding, since you brought some drinks with you, I’m assuming you’ve come to wish me a happy birthday, right? Thank you.

Mahiru: Yep! Happy birthday Kazui-san~ Clap clap clap! But as well as that~ ……I also just maybe wanted to use it as an excuse so I could ask you for some advice over drinks, I suppose?

Kazui: Advice, huh. Well, you’re more than welcome, but I don’t really know what advice an old man like me could give you. I haven’t got the first clue about what love is like for a young girl nowadays.

Mahiru: Ahaha…… Don’t worry, much as I’d love to talk about that too, um…… er, Kazui-san. You know, recently I’ve been having the same dream every day. Lots of people were denying my actions…..Denying my thoughts…… that sort of dream.

Yet, for some reason in Cat,

"Phew, oh wow I’m drunk- Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?"

He presents himself as having a low alcohol tolerance using being drunk as a convenient excuse for his confession in case it goes poorly.

We later see that when with his wife they've both downed half a bottle of champagne, a beverage that ranges between 11.6% alcohol to 12%. Whiskey what he's drinking at the bar ranges from 40% to 50% if it's apple whiskey like implied then it clocks out at 35% alcohol at the least.

Shōchū one of the alcohols he mentions by name ranges from 25% to 37% alcohol. So, tripping up over one glass of whiskey that isn't even finished is noticeably odd for him considering his previous statements.

However, considering his posture and staggering in the middle of the mv he does seem to have had a rough night.

Possibly drinking more than he usually does for one reason or another. However, I don't believe he was that drunk when he asked that question. I think he just drunk more after whoever he asked gave their answer.

It's also kind of odd that the bartender and possibly the girl from the bar both seem to be attending Kazui's wedding.

I'm not so certain about the girl at the bar because she just doesn't have a face here, but I wouldn't be certain even if she did as we never see her eyes just her face in Half. The guy in the middle on the other hand definitely looks like the person we see behind the bar in Half.

20/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Haruka: ……Kazui-san…… um…… Are you, happy…… on your birthday……?

Kazui: Hm? If I’m being honest, at this age I don’t really think much about birthdays any more. But…… it can be nice to have as a means to start something. Like, for a friend you haven’t seen in a long while, it’s a good excuse to suddenly start up a conversation, you know? Being able to hear from a bunch of people like that makes it fun.

Haruka: I-is that, so…… That’s… nice…… I’m, kind of… jealous.

But, I’d also, want to hear from people…… e-even if, there isn’t a reason……

Kazui: Haha, but it can’t always be like that. You know, for us adults…… we always want a reason or an excuse for everything. ……hm? Wait, is today my birthday? So is that why you went out of your way to talk to me yourself for once, Haruka?

"There was a widow who, at her husband's funeral, fell in love with his colleague. She killed her son the very same night. Why? She'd see that man again at her son's funeral." - Caligula Effect Overdose Sun Temple Riddle and Answer.

If someone could use a funeral for that sort of thing who's to say another person couldn't use a wedding.

"I just wanted to ask, so it’s out in the open. I just got a little greedy." "I realize the futility, but I still can't help but dream."

We see a green apple roll beneath Kazui's foot before getting a glimpse of a familiar visage. Now with an apple adorning their head instead of a mask.

As the divide between truth and lies grows thinner.

"All those things I wanna do that I can’t say out loud I gotta keep it inside and act."

We see him become less and less capable of sustaining the act he's been putting on up until-

It snaps.

"Let’s take a breather; Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye. To be caressed by you, that would be perfection."

"I wanted to be loved, just like a cat. Maybe act capricious, on my word and at my fancy."

Man admits he wants to be for the streets and gets judged for it.

I want a relationship like a cat's- I want to be able to leave and come home whenever. Be a bit capricious- Change my mind and mood whenever at my own discretion. Try a little bit of everything eat birds on the street, chase red dots, push glasses off tables, be the predator instead of the prey!

Because-

"It's better to be a let down than be let down."

Is it so wrong to want something casual to come back home to?

To just want to-

For appearance sake.

"So, it’s wrong? Oh, shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right?"

To want to avoid getting greedy and complicating things with unnecessary honesty.

Imposter Boulevard Trial 2 Voice Drama

"Isn’t it unusual to openly reveal a personal dislike as a personal dislike?"

-Later-

"You said I was unfaithful – in other words, that I cheated or committed adultery of some kind."

"Yeah. That’s what I deduced from your footage."

"It’s not true. It didn’t even turn into infidelity. It didn’t turn into anything like that. For me… In my case, you see."

Cat

"Phew, oh wow I’m drunk- Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do? I just wanted to ask, so it’s out in the open. I just got a little greedy."

"The beating of this heart... see... it’s no longer about good and bad... it isn’t. I realize the futility, but I still can’t help but dream."

Being honest, telling the truth, speaking candidly, none of those things are about being viewed as good or bad. The only thing that's about is telling another person one's genuine beliefs and feelings.

It's right after this line the mask and gimmicks fall away, he takes off his ring and tells his wife "Let's take a breather."

An old-fashioned way of saying let's end things here whether it be for a bit or indefinitely.

Half

"All this time till now has hurt me, the scales of my heart has decided to sway. If continuing to hide is called unhappiness, not even one word will get to you."

Cat

"All those things I wanna do that I can’t say out loud I gotta keep it inside and act."

"I can’t stop, I can’t be normal. This feeling, it can’t be gratified. I can’t stop, I can’t be normal. This feeling, it’s yearning to be satisfied."

Finally saying those things left unspoken and literally dissolving their marriage.

Oh, then there's the more than casual lyrical similarities between Kazui's and Mahiru's songs.

"Since when have I ignored my feelings? It’s better to be a let down, than to be let down yourself. I just wanted to touch, to caress. I just wanted to be touched. So, it’s wrong? Oh, shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right? Maybe, perhaps... or... could it come true... like. It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that?"

"This can’t go on, something’s got to give, I even love saying the words, “I love you” My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care! Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?" - "Mon-mon-monstrously in love in love. Mon-mon-monstrous, cuz I love you so much."

"Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye. That sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What. Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit. Victim and Perpetrator, let’s keep it simple."

"Clothes Food Shelter + Love and Miss you. “See you next week?” sounding in cadence. The meaning of life while guilty, I can’t even breathe anymore. My lethal weapon: “This is how to be in love with you”. Clothes Food Shelter - Love and Miss you. This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥ Is bleeding, wailing, this is the end- What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."

They're just two cheaters who people suspect were not directly involved with their victim's deaths. What's the matter with stating what one likes or dislikes in this situation? What makes one better than the other? It's simply perspective~

So, let's keep it simple and fair, alright?

[nymusings]

thank you so much for such a comprehensive ask! i feel like ik a lot more little details about the city now that i wouldn’t have known otherwise — tysm<33

but if it’s not a bother, i just wanted to ask — what do you mean by this bit? “There's a lot going on politically within the uni at the moment, with gender liberation (especially trans rights, which sucks for me as a trans person)” i… am also trans, but i’ve not transitioned or come out (my family is quite transphobic, and my city doesn’t have the resources for trans stuff as far as im aware), so i was hoping to come out and transition after i move out and go to uni. but from what you say here, it sounds like if i do end up being accepted here, it might be safer to stay in the closet? i’m so sorry to ask this — i know it’s not a fun thing to talk abt. i’m just a bit stressed— since i do know people who live in the city and are doing well, but none of them r trans unfortunately.

also— i’m sorry, i promise i’m not trying to just dredge up the negatives😭😭 but ahhvwnegdjd there’s a housing crisis / cost of living crisis / overcrowded classes and courses / timetabling issues / assessment feedback issues?? i know, sadly, that none of this is unique just to Edinburgh, but i didn’t actually realise the city and uni were having all of these problems specifically. i’m sorry if this is a stupid question, but instead of asking you a whole lot, i guess i’d just love to know— is it… bad? as in, in your experience, worse than other unis have it?/if you could go somewhere else would you, that kinda thing. The timetabling issues sound crazy (6hrs of classes?!!) but i feel like i could deal w/ that, but oof, assessment feedback stuff? what’s your experiences w/ that been like, if any? i’m just not from a place where they really prepare us for uni (well, they do, just — my country’s school system and unis work very differently to those in the uk), so i feel like w/out feedback i might end up falling behind lol.

also!! yep, i did mean eng lit, not english languag — thank you SO much for so much of detail on all of that! it cleared up so many questions i didn’t realise i had. like seriously, your ask was so sweet and comprehensive, of course definitely no pressure to answer whatever is going on in this one😭😭

hi again!!! so sorry for answering so late, im only on tumblr every now and then at the minute.

about the trans stuff, I was in the exact same situation as you. I had the same idea with transitioning once I moved to uni and honestly, there will be pros and cons with doing that no matter where you go. At UoE specifically, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding multiple attempted screenings of Adult Human Female with it recently being found that the uni actually paid for an external security company to make sure the event went forward. Recently a trans-exclusionary LGB activist managed to secure a major role within the university. The Trans and Nonbinary Officer did step down in protest of both of these events, and the position is still unfortunately vacant.

HOWEVER there are a lot of positives to being out as trans (even if its just to your friends) at the university, such as:

The Gender Liberation Society which meet every Monday in Appleton Tower

The Gender Empowerment Fund which allows you access to packers/binders/wigs/any trans apparel you might need (with a limit of £150)

You can change your name on the University of Edinburgh system on your own (via EUCLID) so that your real/preferred name is the one on class registers, instead of your birth/dead name

Lots of tutors will as everyone to specify their pronouns at the first meeting, so you'll never feel targeted

There's trans flags spray painted on walls all across old town LMAO

GET A GP AS SOON AS YOU MOVE HERE! The waiting list for the gender identity clinic REQUIRES a GP referral and the wait list is only <2 years long!

(in comparison, Glasgow's is >5 years!)

All in all, the issues with trans stuff has to do more with the admin of the university rather than the people who actually matter to you. You'll find the admin of the uni suck the most more than anyone else at everything. Most of the normal people at the university are very understanding and polite about you being trans (one of my friends actually forgot I was trans once, straight up just thought I was a guy which was very flattering lmao).

In my opinion, it is very worth it coming out. There are people who have your back.

About all of the other stuff, though the University are at fault for not doing enough to help, often everyone affected works together to make it as easy a life as possible. If you are struggling with timetabling, or how full your classes are, or if the amount of assessments you have are driving you up the wall, there is always someone you can contact. In order of who you should contact first:

Your Student Advisor: they can help point you in the right direction and provide notes that can be used at the end of the year to apply for Special Circumstances (if, say, mental health or financial issues, etc, got in the way of your studies)

The Listening Service at the Chaplaincy

The Advice Place

Student Counselling service

Wellbeing officer

and im sure there are more but I've not had to go past this step

About housing-- it is a country-wide issue, but very apparent in the bigger cities like Glasgow and Edinburgh. Even some of my family in London have shared the same sentiment ("If an agency offers you a flat, just take it. It doesn't matter if it doesn't suit our needs, we can't afford to be picky.") Students at UoE have protested the University's lack of involvement in ensuring that students will not go homeless ESPECIALLY since they are taking on a significantly higher amount of students (especially international). There is really nothing that can be done about this, BUT I have heard of undergrads making friends with 4th years and taking over their flat at the end of the year when the 4th years graduate. That's always an option. Again, there is also the Co-op, but it is very competitive.

If we are to compare UoE to other universities, by far and large it is still better academically than most. The reputation is phenomenal and people will wow you whenever you tell them where you study. Being from Glasgow, it was a competition between the two of those Uni's for me, and I do feel like I made the right choice coming to Edinburgh despite all of its flaws. Remember, the university isn't your entire life -- the city can be part of it, too. It really just depends what you're looking for from both the university and life outside of it. I don't think I would have gone anywhere else (unless I could afford Oxbridge lmao). I don't want it to sound like I hate the uni, sure, it is frustrating, but I just want to be as open and honest with you about it as possible so that you truly know what you are getting into.

If you want any actually decent feedback, schedule office hours with your tutor/lecturer and talk with them about it there. The written stuff tends not to help me at all, I need to be verbally told what went wrong and how to improve. The written feedback tends to be more harsh than helpful, and doesn't help me understand where I lost marks.

Scotland's university system is also different to the rest of the UK (yay devolved government), meaning you will do 4 years of a degree instead of 3, and a bunch of other stuff that isn't coming to mind rn lol. School's don't prep us for uni that much either, except for if you do Advanced Highers (which I did for Eng Lit). They are technically the equivalent to first year of university (which I agree with).

[moonjxsung]

ALSKDKDJF OKAYYY !!! I’m glad it’s not a bother !!! I overthink sometimes alskdkjf

urgh so I am having A WEEK :( I hope it’s okay I rant a bit … alslkskdj

helurf okay so after midterms last week, I’ve been trying to like relax and give myself time to rest but IVE HAD SO MANY ASSIGNMENTS :((( and I’m so tired and burnt out and stressed cause I need to start studying for finals and ahhhhhh alsksjjdjf :(

okay now for some more fun updates!! i had fun at uni yesterday!! we had a super fun soil science lab we got to go into soil pits on the farm our campus has and analyze soil (ph, diagnostic horizons, colour, structure, texture etc) !! It was a lot of fun I’m gonna miss the class and my prof :( (it was my last lab)

another fun thing is its art market week at my uni so time to drop a ton of money on prints, stickers and crocheted animals !!! :D

AND okay so I made it into a special like abroad research kinda program/course in like that’s usually only available to upper years students but somehow I made it in alskkskdjdj . Anyways, we get to go to South Africa from like May 14-June 9 to do research and stuff in the field!!! and like IM SO EXCITED??? So anyways, the 19 students that also made it in (it’s a highly competitive program to get into) we had our second group meet up plus our prof (who taught my favourite class by far last term) yesterday and it was a lot of fun and we got free dinner which was super super yum and I can’t believe I’m actually going ahhhhh

and then I went to a friends house for dinner (yes, dinner again) which was fun we like catch up at least once a month and yeah

Anyways sorry for the truck load of information about my life weh

HOW IS YOUR LIFE STAR!!! I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOU!! (With whatever ur feeling comfy sharing 💗)

🌱

UGH I always forget how close together exam season is WHYYYY ARE UR FINALS ALREADY RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER….. 💔💔 I believe in you angel manifesting all the best for you frfr you’re smart I know you got this 🫶🫶🫶🫶

AHHHH UR UNI LAB SOUNDED SO FUN I love labs where you just get to go outside and do stuff in nature it’s fr so healing 👼 I took a geology course in college where we got to go to this creek near my school and like test the ph balance of the water and it was so much fun being outside instead of cooped up in the lecture hall fr one of the best labs we ever did. AND the art market this week???? RAHHH HAVE SO MUCH FUN we used to have something similar at my uni and I would drop SO much on stickers not even joking my laptop is covered in them still :’)

ALSO OH MY GOD??? TO THE STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM?????? STOP THAT SOUNDS SO FIXKIFNT FUNNNNN IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU WYAHWJDNRJ CONGRATS ON GETTING IN BB ‼️‼️ I didn’t have to do study abroad when I was in college bc covid hit but I can’t wait to hear all about yours and live vicariously thru ur updates AHHHH and it’s coming up so soon !! WOWOWOWOW HAVE THE BEST TIME ILY ILY THATS SO FUN

My day was honestly vvvvv boring but it was productive! I had work and then I had a shit ton of laundry to do but I was tired as fuck and I have cramps bc my period started today so I got coffee first to wake me up and then after cleaning the apartment I caught up on Ateez vlogs and now I’m simultaneously writing and watching Zelda gameplay 👼 I think my emotions are like ten times worse rn because of my period so I’m just taking it easy but I have a huge party to go to this weekend and a lot of my friends are gonna be there so I need to get my shit together and stop being sad bc I don’t want to bring the mood down ☹️ why do I always have a party in the same week I feel like shit LOL the last time I had one my situationship and I got into a huge fight and my sister had to be checking on me like every 5 minutes bc I was borderline crying the whole night it was so embarrassing 😭 (I am so tired of crying over this same girl oh my god)

ANYWAYS I LOVE U ANGEL IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND I CANT WAIT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT UR STUDY ABROAD TRIP RAHHH THATS SO EXCITING CONGRATS AGAIN ILY ILY 🩷💖💞💘💕💓👼

[sorcerous-caress]

anon who requested Lorroakan: I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ALL OF IT IS A+ THANK YOU. I love that you included his s/o brushing his hair, I've totally thought about that. His hair is so pretty and he's so pretty and aaaaa… I like the idea that he met his s/o in uni too, like they came to bg with him or were one of the first people he met there.

All the NSFW stuff is super hot and I don't have coherent comments but I did physically put my hand over my face and go 'aaaa' a few times so there's that! He would have the prettiest moans. His voice is just so...

re: how did I even find that post: I went through ALL of the tumblr search results for Lorroakan at some point. I AM insane about him, but there's also not that much to go through.

I went through all of the Minthara tumblr searches before I started this blog, I checked all the tags. I was starving for anything. So I feel you, I'll definitely start including him more in my "several characters" works.

And yes that's what I had in mind about reader! Being in college with him. Be it college for wizards or just an unrelated degree he was pursuing at the time. But like think fantasy college? With balls, gowns and suits? I wanted to have that romanticised dark academia fantasy with him.

You meet him there and start dating after becoming friends? Maybe Lorroakan was charming yes but kinda of insufferable to be around because he is one of those smart people who thinks being a genius excuse being rude.

And you were one of the few people who didn't take shit from him, at first you were enemies type of deal but eventually an attraction matured between you too. Because oh, you realised you find him talking down to you kinda hot and he realised how you're the only person willing to tolerate him and spend time with him.

Then actual feelings beyond lust or loneliness develop, where you open to one another, start enjoying each other's company. He gets used to your nagging and you get used to his insufferable attitude. You have a perfect dynamic where only you two can understand each other.

He opens up to you about his fear of dying, how he has been doing research and reading any book he can get his hands on. He tells you how he fears losing his humanity if he becomes a lich or a vampire so those options of immortality are off the table. How he fears losing his passion for knowledge and magic, fears not remembering his love for you.

So he wants a way to keep his soul and min intetact but achieve immortality. And no not become a god, he sees it also as losing his humanity, same thing with being a God's chosen, they're nothing more than lapdogs.

And thank you so much for this sweet message <33333 ahh it made me so happy. I'm glad you liked it!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my best friend I basically want to spend the rest of my life with her?

(This is long, I'm sorry, I'm incapable of shortly summarizing things)

Ok. So. I (26NB/FTM) am not in love with my best friend (25F), I'm ace and either aro or demiromantic (honestly not sure anymore). But I do love her as much as I can love anyone, probably. To the extent that I would want to be in a committed relationship (qpr I guess) with her and genuinely want to spend the rest of my life with her.

The thing is, she's neither aro nor ace and has only recently (last year) started overcoming fears and anxiety enough that she's gone on dates and wants to try having a relationship. It wasn't easy for her to get to this point and her anxiety is still a major thing she deals with, especially now trying to have a relationship. I know she doesn't love me romantically (not that I would particularly want her to) bc I'm firmly in the friend category and she's said that she can't fall in love with friends (though, again, I don't… want her to be in love me? Since I'm not in love with her either).

I want her to have these experiences. We're both still young and while I just don't need or want anything in that regard, I know it's different for her and in a way it's her finally being able to be herself, live for herself and do what she wants (she had a rough childhood and was basically the one raising her little brother). So, I really do want her to have these experiences and I'm not really jealous either bc I know I'm still more important to her ("bros before hoes" and all that, even if the hoes are guys lol). Though I have to admit it's recently been getting harder being genuinely happy for her when things go well with dates and I suppose I'm a little worried how things will be a few years down the line.

But we're very close. We've been friends for 8 years and best friends for almost as long. We tell each other everything. She's the most important person in my life and I'm the most important person in hers. We get mistaken for a couple constantly, at this point I'm pretty sure everyone in our families has at some point thought we're together. My mum basically treats her like a daughter; she's spent the last 3 Christmases with my family. Besides her brother, I'm the only person she truly cares about who she doesn't get anxious about. The reason I'm going to be moving back home after uni is because she still lives in the area; if she lived somewhere else I'd move there (that's not me being one-sidedly codependent btw, she would absolutely do the same). The jokes about how we need to die at the same time bc neither of us would want to live on alone are really only partly jokes.

Now, here's (finally) where I might be an asshole: When we were in school our friend group consisted of four guys, me and her. All the guys had a crush on her, though some she only found out about later. My best friend, at the time, identified as a lesbian (it's bi probably now). The guys knew that. Now this one guy she only found out about last year at a class reunion (I wasn't there) and he was being all weird about how he'd seen all the times they went to the movies together as dates etc. She thought they were jokingly calling those 'dates', we all did. Again, he knew she identified as gay and never actually said anything about being in love with her. He was also giving off incel-y vibes when she talked with him at the class reunion, so there's that.

We talked about that and well, I kinda admitted that there'd been a moment yeaaaaars ago (like 5?6?) where I felt myself fall in love with her and mentally went 'nope, nope, nope, not doing that (falling in love my best friend) again' and then… it didn't happen. Don't know how that worked. Either way, she made me promise if I ever did actually fall in love with her, that I would tell her. We were laughing about it but I know she was serious about that.

I don't plan on telling her though. I meaaaan I'm not in love with her, technically, which yes, I know, she would probably mean this too. But I know that, at least at this point in time, she doesn't want the same things I want and I want her to have these experiences of dating guys and being in a (allo) relationship etc. I don't want our relationship right now to change either and I know she would try to be considerate and I don't need or want that. I don't want her to overthink what she can or can't tell me, I don't mind hearing her talk about the guys she's dating and I want her to still come to me with everything. I know how she works, I've been basically managing her anxiety for years (genuinely do not mind that before anyone comes talking to me about boundaries) and I know I'm one of the few people in her life who try to let her come to her own conclusions/decisions instead of telling her what they think is right and/or what she should do (she's very easily influenced unfortunately and while I do tell her my opinions if she asks for them, I always try to let her come to her own conclusions first). I don't want her to lose all that. I don't want her to suddenly be anxious about me either, that is genuinely the last thing I would ever want.

TLDR: My best friend made me promise her that I would tell her if I fell in love with her, which I'm technically not, but I do want to spend the rest of my life with her & would want to be in a (queerplatonic) committed relationship with her. I don't want to tell her bc I know it's not what she wants, at least right now, and I want her to make her own experiences and I don't want our relationship to change with this.

AITA for not telling her I would want to be in a (queerplatonic) relationship with her?

What are these acronyms?

[weirdlyfitting]

Hmmm long time no ramble abt myself so here i am lmaooo

I've been keeping these thoughts and problem to myself and it has affected my mental health tbh, just ignore this if y'all don't want to read some negativity cause this had a lot of it :(

So what happened???

Long story short i enjoy video essays so much (especially for mcu) but because they've been too critical these days that the contents made me uncomfortable in so many ways

I love, LOVEEE video essays cause not only i learn something from a writing standpoint it's also about my favorite thing, it's like listening to a friend's story while i'm doing something or nothing, well mostly i did it when drawing tho

IF i watched these kinds of contents again again and againnnn, it's not enjoyable and i feel like it's too much. Kinda ironic considering one of the critics for phase 4 included having too many projects and simply being too much.

There are some points that i def agree on tho, but seriously when could these people talk about the good stuff that came out of phase 4? As in stuff like these

AND ESPECIALLY THIS

Back then i watched the wandavision analysis video after i started to watch (well obvi) wandavision and it grew on me because as the show went on he kept uploading the analysis of each new episodes up to the finale :D

It's incredibly shocking for me to learn that trauma played a really important role on the whole story, pretty much the same with real life tho so it's (again shockingly for me) relatable

Some times later then i find this video i'm beyond sad, and i think i had a breakdown??? Idk my memory's a mess but yea it affected me til this day

I hated the way she's handled in multiverse of madness like she's just having a solo story on her journey of 5 stages of grief and holy fuck she's a villain now??? But pre multiverse of madness she is a great hero to me

I feel like this guy didn't understand or acknowledge what psychosis is (NOT psychopath) when making the video tho (when talking abt pre mom wanda)

I've ever had a psychotic break and i relate to wanda a little by little as the episode went on, it's maddening because i couldn't control any of what i see, hear, or feel. God I just wish more people are kinder on mental health subject :(

I'm not a psychopath, i'm not a narcissist. I'm in need of serious help and by watching positive essays about my comfort characters, movies, or shows helped me understanding the why and what caused it (yes therapy is expensive). I needed comfort and i'd never do harm to others to get that comfort, the psychotic breakdown only happened to me and i've seen shits that i don't want to see anymore. It's a lot :(

Anyway back to it, i've rarely seen anyone who made a video essay talking and explaining about the good stuff that came from phase 4. As in like "the whole phase" yknow?

I mean this phase isn't perfect, maybe far from it tho, there were up and downs yes they exists, too many projects that made mcu feels like a homework and not an event.

But this phase was also one of the only thing that were there for me in dark times, reminder that in 2021 the pandemic still exist and i wasn't able to learn fully at school and all those stuff

Let's say i was still isolated from outside life, really is an introverted person and all i had was internet and comfy bedroom, not to mention my psychotic breakdown happened too for sometimes

When no way home came i feel like it's a movie made for me cause i was kinda in peter's place. I was too struggling to find a university, i didn't know where to go and watching this movie made me feel safe and keeping me to keep going to search on my uni

Then oh my god where do i even begin : moon knight

this show changes lives and i'm one of those life who's changed jagsjsgshsgs, i was in my darkest and i mean it, DARKEST mental state i've ever been on. But this show kept me going, this show was there for me, greeting itself as a friend then it grew on me as time changes. I'm forever grateful to watch this show when it's still aired from the first ep 🥺

I met a uni friend who loved moon knight and overall mcu and oscar too, plus the moots in here aaaa it's just so memorable!

So yeah, phase 4 may be messy and all but it's a good mess for me. I simply would not care anymore if i recieve negative essay reccommendations on my youtube, i'd only watch them when i feel like i want to

With now in phase 5 tho, i'm hoping the flaws from phase 4 can improove. I feel like quantumania is def an okay start for phase 5

there's always a room to grow