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meropeeonmee · 1 day ago

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CHAPTER 4: THE LEAK - Joe Burrow

Description: A leaked demo reignites the internet’s obsession with a pop star’s rumored romance with an NFL quarterback—and exposes the heartbreak they both tried to bury.

Authors note: This will be the last chapter (for now) that includes anything happy—wink wink. If you’re curious about blurbs from Fernanda’s life before Joe, or if there’s a specific scene or moment you’d love to see that just reminds you of them, feel free to head to my profile and click “Share Your Thoughts.” I’d love to hear what’s stuck with you

MASTERLIST!

2021 - 2022 | Fernanda and Joe

It started quietly—like most things that matter do.

One lunch turned into a few more. Then came a string of weeks where “you free tomorrow?” became less a question and more a rhythm. And by the time July rolled in, the world still half-locked behind glass and headlines, she was already slipping her shoes off at his door like she belonged there.

They didn’t mark an anniversary. There was no soft-launch or label or champagne toast. Just her toothbrush in his bathroom. Her hoodie folded over his chair. Her playlist looping on their mornings.

At all the times they were together—in early mornings with the coffee half-sipped and the city still muted, in slow Sundays with socks mismatched and his glasses slipping down his nose, in long pandemic afternoons that stretched like spilled sunlight across the floor—Fernanda always found herself quietly amazed by just how much of Joe Burrow’s magic existed in the spaces where no one else thought to look.

He wasn’t loud, not in the way some people expected him to be—he didn’t command attention when he entered a room, didn’t fill silence with stories or charm crowds with over-rehearsed charisma. No, Joe was the kind of man who watched first, who listened with intention, who noticed things most people never paused long enough to see. He remembered the exact way she took her tea—even when she forgot. He knew when her smile was for show and when it meant something. He called her out gently when her laugh didn’t reach her eyes.

And, God, he was a nerd.

Not the cliché kind, not the kind that wore it like a badge or tried to hide it in swagger—but the honest kind, the endearing kind, the kind who could tell you the temperature on Europa and the exact number of Voyager 1’s signal miles from Earth, and who would interrupt a movie just to point out an inaccurate gravitational slingshot. He loved space documentaries, crossword puzzles, defensive film, and the way her voice dipped when she sang songs that hadn’t found their chorus yet. He made her laugh without trying, with dry, observant comments muttered under his breath like they weren’t meant to be heard—but always were.

During lockdown, when the world had slowed to a crawl and every day bled into the next, they had built a rhythm that wasn’t glamorous but felt holy in its own way. Pasta nights and porch talks, workouts in the living room, matching hoodies and shared Spotify playlists. She wrote songs in the kitchen while he iced his shoulder with a bag of frozen peas. They argued about nothing and made up over microwave brownies. There was no audience, no red carpet, no press cycle. Just them.

And that version of Joe—barefoot, hoodie-wearing, space-fact-dropping Joe—was the one she loved most.

Which is why the injury felt like a quiet gut-punch.

It came on slow at first—stiffness, soreness, the way his jaw would clench as he stood, brushing it off with phrases like “just tight today” or “I’ll stretch it out.” But Fernanda knew the way he moved. Knew when he was hiding pain behind stoic calm. She could read it in the tension of his shoulders, in the way his hands fidgeted when he wasn’t holding a football, in the way he sat a little longer on the edge of the bed in the mornings, like convincing his body to cooperate was becoming its own kind of mental game.

Eventually, the pain outgrew his silence.

There were appointments, ice packs, whispered frustrations, nights where the apartment felt too still because he was too tired to speak. And Fernanda, who had lived her own quiet griefs—in vocal rest, in burned-out tour cycles, in the post-pandemic stillness of a career that once moved faster than she could catch—recognized the ache not just in his knee but in the uncertainty. Because when your body is your livelihood, an injury feels like betrayal.

But she never treated him like he was broken.

She treated him like someone who was allowed to rest.

She kept the heating pad ready before he asked. Sat behind him during stretches, counting out loud while gently pressing between his shoulder blades. On the bad days, when the tension wrapped around him like armor, she didn’t force cheerfulness—she just showed up, with soup, with quiet company, with her playlist of sad girl piano ballads that he pretended to hate but never skipped.

They made a little sanctuary out of ordinary things: compression wraps in the sock drawer, post-therapy smoothies on the windowsill, shared naps on the couch where she’d gently rest her head against his good leg, her fingers tracing constellations across the back of his hand.

One night, after a long physical therapy session that left him too sore to sleep, Joe sat slumped against the headboard, staring at the ceiling like it owed him something.

Fernanda didn’t say much. She just crawled in beside him, blanket pulled up to their chests, and whispered, “You’re still him, you know. Even when you’re not moving.”

Joe didn’t reply right away. But when he turned to look at her—really look at her—it was with the kind of softness he reserved for post-game family hugs and fourth-quarter prayers.

“You don’t have to love me like this,” he murmured.

Fernanda just smiled, kissed his shoulder, and answered, “I don’t. I want to.”

Because it wasn’t about the field, or the stats, or what the sports blogs said about his recovery timeline.

It was about the man who kissed her knuckles like they were sacred. Who watched her write songs like he was witnessing a solar eclipse. It was about staying, even when nothing looked like victory.

And so, when Joe healed, he didn’t just return with stronger legs or more tape on his knees—he returned with the memory of her beside him, steady as gravity, quiet as faith, constant as breath.

And maybe that’s what recovery really was—not just getting back to who you were, but realizing who you never had to be alone.

One morning, Fernanda rolled over and caught him watching her like he was memorizing something—not just her face, but the quiet way her breath slowed when she slipped into a deeper sleep, the bend of her arm tucked under her pillow, the way her hair fanned out across his side of the bed like it belonged there, like she belonged there. Since lockdown, she’d basically been living with him—her things tucked into drawers, her voice filling the kitchen, her scent clinging to his sweaters—but she still flew back to New York whenever she needed to, like a bird with two nests. And yet, here, in this bed, in that early light, she didn’t flinch under the attention the way she used to with other men, didn’t try to perform her waking up or smooth down her features or bury her vulnerability under practiced charm—she just stayed soft and sleepy and his, like she didn’t need to be anything else.

“You’re being weird,” she murmured, her voice still thick with sleep, eyes closed but aware of him in that sixth-sense way people are only when they’ve let someone all the way in.

Joe didn’t look away. “Just thinking how I don’t remember life before you got here,” he said, and he meant it—not in a romantic cliché kind of way, but in the way you suddenly forget how silence used to sound before someone started filling it with the sound of their guitar tuning in the other room, or how mornings used to pass without that specific warmth pressed against your side, or how a couch never quite felt like home until someone’s knees tucked into yours on it without needing permission.

She smiled, a quiet, lazy thing, barely tugging at the corners of her lips, then tucked her face back into the pillow like she was hiding from the weight of the intimacy she didn’t know how to carry yet but didn’t want to lose either. “Maybe that’s the point,” she whispered, her words slipping between them like a thread. “Maybe this isn’t something we fall into. Maybe it’s something we grow into.”

He didn’t reply. He didn’t need to. Instead, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the back of her shoulder, soft and unrushed, not meant to seduce or impress or promise anything big—but just to anchor them both in the moment, to let the truth of it settle in the space between skin and breath.

And for a moment, neither of them moved. The room held its breath with them, wrapped in the kind of hush that only exists when two people are so in sync they don’t need sound to feel understood. There was no urgency to the day, no schedule to outrun, no calendar reminder pinging to pull them out of the moment. Just soft light bleeding through the blinds and the awareness that sometimes, love doesn’t announce itself in grand crescendos—it lingers in the pauses.

Fernanda didn’t open her eyes. She didn’t need to. His presence had become something she didn’t question anymore—like the steady hum of a refrigerator or the weight of a familiar hoodie, like a background noise she didn’t notice until it was gone. It had crept in slowly, without asking for attention, one Tuesday morning at a time, one too-late dinner, one forehead kiss after rehab, one night when she fell asleep mid-sentence and woke up to find he’d carried her phone to charge and covered her with a throw blanket that still smelled like him.

She used to think love had to be loud to matter—that it had to knock the wind out of you or leave you wrecked enough to turn into lyrics and headlines and a heartbreak people wanted to root for. And for a while, it did. With Froy, it was all fire and velocity. They loved each other like a dare, intensity meeting intensity, drama dressed up as destiny. Everything was heightened—every look, every fight, every kiss—and she mistook that intensity for depth. It felt romantic, until it didn’t. Until it hurt more than it held.

Then came Chris.

Chris was the first one who didn’t ask her to perform. Who didn’t want her spotlight—just her. With him, love was softer, steadier, and quiet in ways she wasn’t used to. And maybe that’s why it didn’t last. Not because he didn’t love her right, but because she didn’t know how to receive it yet. He was patient, but she was still learning. Learning how to be still. How to be quiet. How to not fill silence with apologies or charm. And while that love didn’t survive, it gave her something else—proof that there was a different way to be loved, and maybe even a different way to be.

She had to go through him to get to herself.

And then—there was Joe.

This wasn’t fireworks or a proving ground. This was coffee cooling on the nightstand and grocery lists scribbled in sharpie. This was a toothbrush left next to his and a playlist that hadn’t changed in weeks. This was shared space and chosen quiet. No stage, no performance. Just love that was steady and unflinching. Love that didn’t need to be seen to feel real.

For the first time, she wasn’t just being loved quietly.

She was living quietly, too.

This was letting herself be ordinary.

And God, she hadn’t realized how much she needed to be ordinary—how deeply she ached to be the version of herself who didn’t have to sparkle to be safe. The one who could wake up with tangled hair and anxiety in her chest and still be looked at like she was enough. Not for what she gave, or how she looked, or who the world thought she was. Just her.

She used to think being boring was the worst thing she could be.

But boring now felt like freedom. Like stillness. Like the softest kind of arrival.

Across the bed, Joe was still looking at her—not with expectation or possession or the kind of hunger that wanted to claim something—but with a steadiness she didn’t know how to receive without flinching. He looked at her like she was enough. Not because of who she used to be, not because of what she could write or perform or wear to a gala, but because she was real. And present. And here.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, a tiny voice still whispered that she should be scared—that they were both too fresh out of something else, that maybe this was just a soft landing after too many hard years, that maybe it wouldn’t last—but that voice was quieter now, easier to silence, drowned out by the steady hum of his breath against her skin and the way he never tried to fix her or label her or ask her to define what they were.

He just reached for her. And she let him.

His arm wrapped gently around her waist beneath the covers, anchoring them both to the morning, and she didn’t pull away. There was no script here, no milestones to hit, no plan except the one they were quietly writing together. She didn’t need a label. Didn’t need the internet to guess what was happening. She just needed this—the space, the breath, the peace of it.

They hadn’t made it public. Not because they were hiding. But because they didn’t need to explain something that felt this sacred.

She didn’t need to ask what they were.

They were real.

And real didn’t need to be validated to be true.

Sometimes, it just needed to be held quietly. And in that moment—half-asleep, curled into something steady, wearing one of his old shirts and none of her old armor—Fernanda held it fully.

“You bought me a plant,” Fernanda said slowly, blinking down at the leafy green thing he had just placed into her hands, the ceramic pot still cool from the outside, its little plastic tag jutting out like a name badge at a forgotten garden party, and she studied it the way one studies a gift they didn’t ask for but couldn’t stop loving the moment it arrived.

Joe didn’t even flinch under her look, his face calm, almost proud, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world, as if this act—this slightly chipped fern in her hands—made complete emotional sense, and he said, very simply, “It’s a fern.”

“I see that,” she replied, already halfway to a smile, her brow arching with mock suspicion, the kind that always came just before she said something dry, something teasing, something like, “You bought me a plant… named Fern.”

And without missing a beat, with the earnestness that made her insides twist up in that quiet way he never got to see, he said, “It felt poetic.”

She tilted her head, voice softening into playfulness and something far warmer. “It’s a little narcissistic.”

Joe, dead serious, eyes so steady it disarmed her: “It’s a tribute.”

And then, as if that settled the matter entirely, he crossed the room and placed the fern on the sun-warmed windowsill with the careful hands of someone arranging something sacred, adjusting the blinds just so, letting the golden light filter in like grace, and when he stepped back, hands on his hips, nodding to himself like he had just installed something crucial to the structure of their lives, Fernanda didn’t say a word—because somehow, it really did feel like a symbol, like a metaphor that didn’t need decoding, like a quiet vow planted in soil and ceramic.

That night, when the city had shrunk down to its quietest hum and the fridge filled the silence with its subtle buzz and she was sitting cross-legged on the rug, half-heartedly strumming her guitar with fingers more thoughtful than precise, she looked up and caught him standing in the kitchen shirtless, his curls damp from the shower, misting the fern with an old plastic spray bottle like it was a ritual he’d performed for years, his lips moving around some silent sentence only the plant could hear, and she blinked slowly, stunned into affection, like she was watching a private moment she had never earned but had been gifted anyway.

“Did you just say ‘good job today’ to the fern?” she asked, her voice warm with disbelief, the kind of tone reserved for people you know too well to question seriously.

Joe didn’t look up, didn’t even falter in his movement, just kept spraying gently and said, completely sincere, “Photosynthesis takes commitment.”

And the laugh that broke out of her was the kind that didn’t belong to performance or irony or charm, but to something cracked open and unguarded—something real.

It was the same kind of laugh that had echoed through the kitchen the night they tried to make banana bread during lockdown and ended up covered in flour and melted chocolate chips, the smoke alarm screaming in protest as she waved a dish towel in the air while he fumbled with the oven mitts like it was a bomb diffusal attempt, and somewhere in the chaos he told her she looked hot in an apron, and she rolled her eyes and told him he was a menace, but her smile gave her away before she could walk it back.

They’d made boxed brownies instead, sitting on the cool tile of the kitchen floor with their backs against the cabinets and their legs stretched out like lazy questions, the tray between them half-gone before it had even cooled, and she remembered licking chocolate from her thumb and thinking this is what peace feels like—not silence or solitude, but the warm, reckless joy of choosing someone in the middle of the mess.

That was always them—soft in the edges and ridiculous in the best ways, two people who had seen too much of the spotlight to mistake noise for meaning, who had learned the hard way that the truest things often arrived quietly and didn’t need to be captioned or broadcast or wrapped in aesthetic to be worth remembering.

And now, with the fern watching from the sill like a house guest that had always lived there, and the apartment still scented faintly of eucalyptus balm from his physical therapy and whatever candle she lit and forgot to blow out, and the taste of chocolate still lingering somewhere in her memory, Fernanda looked over at Joe—who was now fussing with the leaves like they were part of a delicate instrument—and felt something settle deeper in her chest, something heavier than infatuation and quieter than certainty but far more permanent than either.

Because this was more than just domesticity or playfulness or pandemic boredom.

This was them, growing into something they hadn’t expected, building a space neither of them thought they deserved, letting it happen without rules or titles or the need to say everything out loud.

And when he looked up and caught her watching him—his face open, unashamed, impossibly soft—she smiled, shook her head like she was still trying to believe this was real, and said, “You’re so weird.”

Joe stepped forward, leaned down, and kissed the top of her head, his voice low and steady. “Yeah, but I’m your weirdo.”

And in that moment, with their feet bare, their playlist looping the same four songs, the windows cracked open to a city that no longer scared her, Fernanda realized that the world outside could stay loud and skeptical and obsessed with spectacle—but inside these four walls, there was a fern named after her, a man who whispered to it like it was holy, and a quiet, unshakeable love blooming between mismatched coffee mugs and flour-streaked t-shirts.

And maybe that was all they ever needed.

That night, she sat cross-legged on the rug with her guitar resting against her thigh, a bowl of berries slowly deflating beside her, half a song in her throat and no real urgency to finish it, just a soft need to feel something pass through her fingers, something unmeasured and unfinished, the way certain feelings don’t sharpen until you’re alone with them long enough to recognize their shape.

The apartment smelled like sleep and eucalyptus from his physical therapy balm, that quiet menthol scent that clung to towels and his shirts and the corners of the couch they always ended up on, and the windows were cracked just enough to let in the soft hum of a city that had stopped trying to impress them, the streetlights flickering like lullabies and the distant sounds of sirens dulled by time and routine.

She plucked a few quiet chords without meaning to, the kind that weren’t built for a hook or a chorus or a crowd—just a feeling, just her hands moving out of muscle memory and the need to mark the moment before it passed unnoticed like so many had during the long, slow months when the world paused and they didn’t know how to start it again.

Joe was stretched out on the couch behind her, legs long and tangled in the knit blanket they always fought over during movies, hair still damp from a shower, flipping mindlessly through old game film on mute—something he did when he wanted his brain to be busy without thinking too hard, like putting noise between himself and the pressure without naming what the pressure was.

He wasn’t really watching it—not in the way athletes usually did with their teeth clenched and their minds racing—it felt more like he was keeping the ghosts company, letting the slow motion plays and outdated uniforms remind him who he used to be before his body betrayed him and before rehab became its own kind of performance.

The suitcase was half-zipped by the front door, sitting in the exact spot where her boots usually lived, and its presence pulsed like a quiet metronome in the room, a reminder of what was coming and what wouldn’t fit in the spaces they’d built together these past few months—training camp started tomorrow, and everything already felt like it had started leaving even though no one had moved yet.

He hadn’t said much about it.

Neither had she.

But the countdown had started in everything they did that week—how long the coffee steeped in the French press they always forgot to clean, how many groceries they didn’t bother to buy because they knew the fridge would soon feel emptier no matter what was inside, how her body curled closer in bed like maybe proximity could slow time down, like the ache could be stored in skin instead of memory.

They started taking shorter showers but longer walks, splitting the last orange without offering, letting silence stretch between them without trying to patch it up with fake cheer, and every night she found herself reaching for his hand without thinking and he always let her take it, even when it meant stopping mid-fold or mid-thought or mid-grimace from the soreness in his leg.

“You nervous?” she asked finally, not looking at him, just letting the question float between them like steam rising from a forgotten mug, casual but not careless.

Joe didn’t answer right away.

He sat with the question like it was something he owed respect to, something fragile and personal, the kind of thing you don’t swat away with a joke, and when he finally spoke, it was quiet—“Not about playing. Just about what goes with it.”

Fernanda nodded, still not facing him, eyes on the fretboard like she could see her thoughts mirrored there. “I get that.”

And he knew she did—because she’d lived it in her own way, through album cycles and late-night talk shows and online dissections of her every breath, and she knew what it was to come back after the silence, to stand in front of people again and pretend the time away hadn’t changed you when you knew it had changed everything.

The comeback nerves. The noise. The way even joy started to feel performative when too many people were watching. The strange guilt of surviving the quiet when you were built for the sound.

He ran a hand over his jaw, slow and thoughtful, the way he always did when he was holding something heavy but hadn’t named it yet. “You gonna be okay here?”

Fernanda glanced over her shoulder, a soft smile pulling at her mouth. “You act like I’ve never been alone before.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” she said, her voice gentler now, softer in the way people speak when they’re saying thank you without saying the words.

And it wasn’t like she needed him around to feel whole—she’d done alone before, too many times and too many cities to be afraid of it—but she liked who she was when they shared space, liked the version of herself that didn’t feel so sharp-edged, who didn’t flinch when someone offered softness without strings or conditions or countdowns.

Joe didn’t want to fix her, didn’t try to make sense of her moods or solve her silences—he just… stayed.

And that made it easier to let the past breathe without letting it suffocate her, easier to remember that healing wasn’t linear and presence didn’t always require noise.

He was good at that—staying without asking for more than what she had in the moment, anchoring her without tying her down, giving her space without stepping away.

And maybe that’s why the silence between them didn’t ache. It just was. Familiar. Steady. Enough.

He looked over then, his gaze resting on the guitar in her lap. “Is that the song?”

Fernanda shrugged, fingers drifting across the strings. “Maybe.”

“Wanna play it?”

She shook her head, her voice almost a whisper. “Not yet. It’s still mine right now.”

Joe nodded, like he understood that deeply.

And he did—because some things weren’t ready to be heard. Just like some things weren’t ready to be defined. Just like some people weren’t ready to say I love you out loud, even if they felt it in every touch, every cup of coffee poured, every charger untangled, every inside joke that became a ritual.

They ended the night the way people do when they know something is about to change but don’t want to name it—him folding a hoodie into his bag and forgetting his charger on the nightstand like always, her setting an alarm she wouldn’t need just to pretend the morning had structure, both of them brushing their teeth side by side in silence, their shoulders bumping once, twice, and neither of them moving away.

They didn’t say goodbye.

They weren’t breaking.

They weren’t even pausing.

They were just turning the page.

And in that turn, in the way time stretched itself over guitar strings and cracked windows and half-zipped bags, they let themselves feel the passing—slow and soft and full of meaning, like a note held just long enough to hurt.

By August, she’d memorized the way he liked his eggs—over-medium, a little salt, toast just a minute longer than necessary because he said he liked it a little too crunchy, like it gave breakfast some edge—and he, in turn, learned the way she curled her fingers around the handle of her mug twice before her first sip, the way she never looked at the phone first thing in the morning anymore, not since she started waking up to someone who didn’t ask her to be anything but present.

They had a couch groove now—his thigh, her legs, the blanket they always fought over but never actually moved, the same Netflix profile they never updated from “guest” because it made them laugh every time it asked, “Are you still watching?” as if the question had ever stopped being rhetorical—and somewhere between her dropping bobby pins in the sink and him always leaving his socks by the armrest, they built a rhythm so quiet it almost didn’t look like love from the outside, but on the inside, it was everything they hadn’t known how to ask for.

Some nights they didn’t speak for hours—not out of tension, not out of avoidance, just that rare comfort that comes from knowing you don’t have to fill the room to feel full, that sometimes the silence between two people is the loudest way of saying I know you’re here, and I’m glad, so they let the hours pass in guitar strings and muted sports replays, in bowls of blueberries and mismatched tea mugs, in glances that said you okay? without needing to ask out loud.

It started with her humming.

Not a melody she was writing, not anything that would ever make it to an album or a demo or a late-night voice memo—just something soft and aimless, the kind of sound that spills from you when your body is relaxed and your heart isn’t rehearsing anymore, drifting out of her as she folded laundry on the bed, barefoot in one of his old hoodies, hair in a loose knot, moving around like she belonged to the moment and nothing outside of it.

Joe leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, watching her the way people watch sunsets they weren’t expecting to catch—still and warm and a little in awe, not making noise, not announcing anything, just being there in the doorway like maybe he wanted to memorize the way she looked when she thought no one was looking.

She looked up and caught him staring.

“What?” she asked, half-laughing, one eyebrow raised, a sock in one hand and the other resting on her hip like she already knew he was about to say something stupidly soft.

He shrugged, unbothered. “You’re just… hard to look away from.”

Fernanda narrowed her eyes, suspicious. “You’re laying it on thick.”

“I mean it,” he said, stepping into the room like it was nothing, like it was everything. “You’re the prettiest person who’s ever folded socks.”

She rolled her eyes, but her smile gave her away—crooked and unwilling, the kind that crept out when she wasn’t guarding it. “You’re so annoying.”

He walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and rested his chin on her shoulder like he belonged there, like there was no other place his body knew how to rest. “You adore me,” he murmured into her neck, breath warm and sure.

“I do,” she said, quiet but sure, not “I love you,” not yet, but something about “I adore you” felt more true anyway—less worn, less borrowed from every song she’d ever written, more like something they’d made up themselves.

And he felt it, in the way her hand came up to rest on his forearm like it always did when she wanted to say stay, in how she leaned back just slightly, letting him carry a little more of her weight, in how neither of them flinched from the closeness anymore, like it wasn’t fragile or borrowed or temporary, just real.

They hadn’t said the words—not out loud, not yet—but it was there, in every morning coffee he brewed just the way she liked it, in the way she never asked what he was thinking—she just knew, in how he checked on the fern every night like it was part of their family, like it held meaning even in its silence, in the fact that she never rushed him to say it first and he never asked her to perform it for him.

Because they didn’t need the word to prove anything.

They lived it, quietly.

They adored each other in the acts, not the labels.

Fernanda turned around in his arms and rested her hands on his chest, eyes soft but steady. “You look at me like I’m a miracle,” she said.

He shook his head, smiling, something quiet in the curve of his mouth. “You are a miracle. Just one who leaves her tea cups all over the apartment.”

She gasped, mock-offended. “They’re not all over. They’re strategically placed for creative thinking.”

“Sure,” he said, forehead leaning against hers. “I adore your mess.”

“Good. Because I adore your weird space nerd facts and the way you pretend not to cry during underdog sports documentaries.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple, his voice low like a vow he didn’t know he was making. “You make it really easy to want to stay.”

They didn’t say the three words. They didn’t need to.

Not when everything else they did already whispered it into the quiet, not when every habit, every glance, every fight over the couch blanket and shared playlist and fridge magnets said I’m still choosing you.

But he didn’t say it.

Not yet.

He just let it live between them, like a song with no chorus.

Just verses unfolding, one slow, soft line at a time.

And later, when she fell asleep with her head on his chest and her hand curled into his t-shirt, Joe just watched her breathe, thumb tracing slow circles against her shoulder, thinking—If this isn’t love, then what is?—but he didn’t say it, not yet, because some truths felt too sacred to name out loud when they were still unfurling between two people like the slow, steady blooming of something that had finally stopped bracing for winter.

But the world didn’t stop just because they’d built a quiet.

One night, long after the dishes were washed and the windows had gone soft with condensation, she saw a photo while absentmindedly scrolling—just a blurry one, old maybe, her and Chris on a red carpet under harsh lights and louder headlines—and it wasn’t even the image that got her, not really, it was the caption underneath, biting and lazy in the way tabloids always were: “From America’s heartthrob to the heartbreak muse. The popstar’s pattern continues.”

Joe didn’t say anything.

He just reached out, took her phone gently from her hand, set it face-down on the coffee table like it was nothing, like it didn’t deserve oxygen, and then passed her the remote without a word, a small act of grace disguised as detachment, a gesture so simple and quiet it made her chest ache harder than the headline ever could.

She didn’t cry.

But something curled in her ribs and didn’t let go—because no matter how peaceful their bubble felt, the world still had opinions, still had claws, still had a way of taking her softness and dragging it into a punchline.

She looked at him then—sockless, sleepy-eyed, hair in need of a trim, the tiniest bit of toothpaste on his sleeve—and wondered how long they could keep this unbotheredness alive, how long their silence could shield them from a world that loved nothing more than to dissect what it didn’t understand.

Long enough, she hoped.

Long enough to make it through the noise.

It was late—well past midnight—and they were curled up on the couch again, legs tangled, the weight of the blanket uneven across their bodies but neither one caring enough to fix it, the TV humming low with the kind of documentary that didn’t beg to be watched so much as absorbed, something about deep space and old satellites and the echo of signals no longer expected to land, and Fernanda, eyes half-closed and fingers curled around the hem of his shirt, had barely registered the shift in sound when his voice sparked to life, soft but animated, like a thought he’d been waiting all night to remember.

“Did you know Voyager 1 is still sending signals back to Earth?” he said suddenly, his thumb tracing lazy circles on the inside of her wrist like it was just muscle memory now. “It’s been out there since 1977. And it’s still going. Still trying to talk to us.”

Fernanda blinked up at him, her voice a sleepy rasp. “You’re watching space again, aren’t you?”

He grinned—not wide, just that subtle tilt in his lips that only appeared when he was caught doing something nerdy and pure, that quiet amusement that made her want to freeze-frame the moment. “It’s insane, right? We sent this tiny piece of metal out into the void, not knowing if it’d last a week, and it’s still moving. Still reaching back.”

She didn’t answer immediately—just let the idea float between them, the way you do when something resonates deeper than you’re willing to admit. Then finally: “That’s kind of sad.”

Joe looked down at her. “Why?”

“Because it’s out there,” she said softly, “still trying to connect. And no one’s really listening anymore.”

He paused—just for a second—then nodded, slow and reverent. “I think it’s beautiful.”

And maybe that was the difference between them—she saw ache where he saw persistence, she felt the absence, he noticed the reach, she carried the weight of being misunderstood while he believed, in that gentle, stubborn way of his, that just existing with purpose was enough; that you didn’t need applause to matter.

Fernanda shifted closer, resting her cheek against his chest, heart pressed to steady breath. “Of course you do,” she whispered. “You’d romanticize a machine if it meant proving loyalty’s still a thing.”

Joe laughed under his breath, but didn’t argue. “I just think there’s something noble about it. Still doing what you were built for. Even when no one’s clapping.”

She closed her eyes again, smiling. “That’s such a quarterback answer.”

And he didn’t deny it—because it was.

But that was Joe: the boy who studied constellations and injury reports with equal reverence, who knew the average temperature on Europa but couldn’t figure out how to flirt without sounding like a scientist, who believed in dark matter and second chances and the slow, quiet gravity of showing up even when the cameras were off.

Fernanda pulled the blanket tighter around them, her foot nudging against his knee, like the contact was enough to anchor her. “If I ever disappear,” she murmured, “I hope you send a spacecraft after me.”

Joe didn’t even blink. “Already building the playlist.”

She cracked one eye open, smirking. “Let me guess. All sad girl music and David Bowie?”

He kissed the top of her head, still grinning into her hair. “And maybe a track or two of you, talking in your sleep.”

She groaned. “I knew you were recording me.”

“Only for the historical record,” he said, his eyes drifting back to the screen, where some scientist explained radio waves with reverence, and the stars blinked on quietly like secrets waiting to be understood.

It had been a long day.

The kind of day that clung to him like sweat—film sessions, treatment, drills, endless eyes tracking every stride he took. The trainers said he was progressing perfectly, but that didn’t quiet the noise in his head. Perfect was subjective. Perfect didn’t tell you how you’d feel once the pads went on.

He got home later than usual, shoulder sore, brace mark faint around his calf, and dropped his duffel in the entryway with more weight than necessary.

Fernanda looked up from the couch, one leg tucked under her, guitar set aside. She took one look at his face and asked nothing.

Instead, she stood, crossed the room, and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

No questions. No jokes. Just that quiet gesture like I see you and I know today was loud.

Joe exhaled for what felt like the first time all day. “They kept timing my dropbacks,” he murmured into her shoulder. “Like if I’m off by half a second, the season’s already lost.”

“Are you?” she asked softly.

“Maybe,” he admitted. “Maybe not. But I feel like I have to be perfect just to break even.”

Fernanda pulled back slightly, her fingers brushing a stray curl from his forehead. “You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be you.”

He snorted under his breath. “You say that because you haven’t seen the Twitter threads.”

“Oh, I’ve seen them,” she said, walking him toward the kitchen like she wasn’t about to get into it—but she was. “Some people think I’m your distraction. Others think I’m a lyric-writing witch who ruined two actors and is now allegedly collecting quarterbacks.”

Joe grinned, finally. “You do have chaos witch energy.”

She opened the fridge, tossed him a Gatorade. “And yet, here you are. Still walking. Still throwing. Still mine.”

That last part? That landed. Hard.

He popped the cap open and leaned against the counter, watching her move around like this was her home too. Which, in all the ways that mattered, it was.

“I don’t care what they say,” he said finally. “About you. About us. I just… I don’t want you dragged into something you didn’t sign up for.”

Fernanda leaned across the island, chin resting on her hand. “Joe. I’ve been dragged across red carpets, canceled for tweets I didn’t write, blamed for breakups I didn’t cause, and blacklisted from the Met Gala for wearing a dress with bones on it.”

He blinked. “Bones?”

She waved him off. “Long story. The point is—I can handle it. But I choose you. So if people want to speculate? Let ’em. We’ve got soup, your weird space documentaries, and my ugly socks. That’s all I care about.”

Joe chuckled. “Those socks are awful.”

“They have moons on them,” she said, mock offended.

“They have faces on the moons.”

She grinned. “So you were looking.”

He just smiled and stepped around the island, arms looping around her waist. “I adore you, you know.”

Her face softened. “I know. I feel it.”

And when he kissed her, it wasn’t for comfort or because the world was heavy or because the headlines were louder than they liked—it was because she reminded him who he was without needing him to prove it. Because with her, he didn’t need to rehearse. He just got to be.

It started with a photo.

Blurry, grainy, clearly taken from the nosebleeds—but it was them.

Joe in sweats, hoodie pulled low. Fernanda beside him in sunglasses and an oversized flannel that was probably his, leaning in close. Not kissing. Not holding hands. Just close. Laughing at something only they heard.

And yet… that one photo sparked a wildfire.

By the time Fernanda woke up the next morning, “FERNANDA AND JOE” was trending on Twitter. Again.

She walked into the kitchen half-asleep, hair tied up in a claw clip, scrolling absently through her phone as Joe poured coffee in two mismatched mugs.

“You’re trending,” he said without looking up.

She deadpanned. “We’re trending.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Technically your flannel is trending. One tweet said, ‘she ate in that parking lot fit.’”

Fernanda snorted, sitting on the counter like always, legs swinging. “The internet has too much free time.”

“They’re making slideshows now. Us. Froy. Chris. The fern plant. Your foot in that one blurry mirror selfie from months ago.”

“My foot?”

“It had rings on it. People made fan edits.”

She sipped her coffee, unbothered. “Sounds like they’re in love with me.”

Joe grinned. “Same.”

For a moment, there was only the quiet hum of the morning—their playlist echoing faintly from the living room, the soft tap of Fernanda’s nails on her mug. Then she asked it, not as a demand, but gently. Like a question they both already knew the shape of.

“Do you want to say anything?”

He paused. “Publicly?”

She nodded.

He set his mug down slowly, walking over to stand between her knees, thumbs brushing the inside of her wrists. “Only if you do.”

Fernanda leaned forward until their foreheads touched, eyes closed. “I like us here,” she whispered. “Without an audience. Without the commentary. I’m not hiding. I’m just… choosing stillness.”

Joe nodded. “I like here too.”

She opened her eyes and smiled. “Okay. Then let’s stay here.”

They didn’t need to post anything.

No joint statement. No soft-launch carousel. No cryptic caption with matching emojis.

Just coffee in the kitchen.

Just him kissing her knuckles like it was a reflex.

Just a mutual knowing: we’re real even if we’re not broadcasted.

The world could theorize all it wanted.

But love like theirs didn’t need a press release.

It just needed mornings like this.

The nights were starting to blur in that slow, sacred way only early autumn could manage—warm lighting bleeding across the walls like memory, soft pillows stacked and reshuffled depending on which side of the couch they collapsed into, the quiet creak of the apartment settling like an exhale, as if even the building had started to recognize the rhythm of two people learning how to rest beside each other.

Most evenings landed the same way now: Fernanda on the couch with her guitar balanced lightly against her legs, one sock barely hanging on, the sleeves of Joe’s hoodie swallowing her hands, her feet tucked across his lap like they belonged there, like the space between them had always existed, waiting to be filled.

Joe sat beneath her, one hand absently resting on her shin, the other adjusting the frozen pack on his knee that had been rehabbing in half-quiet rituals since July, the television flashing muted game replays in front of him, though he wasn’t watching—not really, not when she was humming like that, not when the soft, unfinished melody floated through the room like steam from a forgotten cup of tea, not when her fingers brushed lazy chords that didn’t belong to any album or setlist or audience, just to her, and now, to him.

She had come to understand his game film habits—not as obsession, but as devotion, not as ego, but as discipline—how he would sit there for hours sometimes, eyes narrowed but calm, rewinding clips over and over to study the way his foot planted before a throw, or the millisecond delay in his shoulder when he read a blitz, like he could solve pain if he just understood it better; like knowing the mechanics of injury might prevent the heartache of it returning.

She saw the way he loved the game—not loudly, not for the applause or the fame, but for the order it gave him, the way it tethered him to something greater than himself, something that required both violence and grace, that demanded he show up with his whole body even when it was failing him, and still stay quiet in the face of either glory or collapse.

And Fernanda, who knew what it was to give your body to the stage and your soul to strangers, recognized the quiet ache of performance in him, too.

She saw it in the way he exhaled before every rehab stretch, as if bracing for disappointment.

In how he wrote plays in a notebook he never showed anyone.

In how he touched the football on the kitchen counter like it was alive.

She didn’t always understand the rules.

But she understood him.

And at some point, in the middle of one of those evenings where everything felt both temporary and permanent, where the air was equal parts eucalyptus from his physical therapy balm and the cinnamon candle she kept relighting, she looked up from the strings, eyes catching his in the half-glow of the room, and asked—half-laughing, half-serious—

“You ever feel like you were built just to make someone softer?”

Joe didn’t blink. Didn’t flinch. Just answered in that low, steady voice she had grown to trust more than her own reflection. “No,” he said, thumb brushing against her leg in a slow arc. “But I feel like I found the person I want to be soft for.”

And there it was again—that moment that almost tipped, almost turned, almost said I love you out loud, but didn’t, because some words are too important to rush, too sacred to say before you know the shape of what you’re giving away; and yet, it didn’t matter, because love lived between them already—in soup reheats and whispered jokes, in the way he let her cry without offering solutions, in the fact that he never complained when she stole all the blankets or forgot to buy milk.

She knew he’d leave soon—back to stadiums and headlines and locker rooms that didn’t smell like home—but she also knew that he would carry this softness with him, that he would tape his wrist the same way he had learned to touch her spine when she cried, that the patience he practiced with her songs would steady him when the pocket collapsed, that he would look at the field like it was a language they’d both spoken in different tongues.

Because football was his purpose.

But she had become his peace.

She didn’t go to the first few games—not because she didn’t want to, but because the timing hadn’t allowed it. September blurred into early October with back-to-back shoots in New York, studio sessions that bled past midnight, campaign deadlines that demanded her face and voice in equal measure, and though Joe never said anything about it, she’d caught the slight pause in his voice when he asked how long she’d be gone, when she told him she probably wouldn’t be back in time for Sunday.

But she always watched.

Even in hotel rooms with blackout curtains and spotty WiFi, she streamed the games from her laptop, the glow of the screen lighting up her face as she bit her lip through fourth quarters, mouthing come on, come on under her breath like it could reach him somehow through the miles and the noise and the crowd.

And then, when the calendar eased and her voice finally rested, she started going.

Not every game. Not loudly. But enough to make it count.

And when her schedule finally cleared—when her team rescheduled a campaign shoot and her label pushed back a deadline—she brought it up the way someone does when they’re testing the air for a storm that hasn’t hit yet.

“So I was thinking,” she’d said that night, casually, from the other end of the couch, legs tucked under her, sleeves of his hoodie falling past her wrists, “I might come to the game this week.”

The TV was still on, playing some documentary about cold water diving or cave science—one of those things he always half-watched while icing his knee—but the sentence seemed to still the room anyway.

Joe didn’t respond right away, and maybe that’s why it stung more than it should have—because it wasn’t loud, it wasn’t harsh, it wasn’t even argumentative; it was just quiet, the kind of quiet that fills a space when someone’s weighing their words too carefully, like whatever he was about to say would be more for her protection than his.

“I just think…” he started, slowly, voice cautious, his gaze flicking toward her and then away again, “it might be better if you didn’t.”

Fernanda blinked, her head tipping slightly, not out of surprise, but because the answer felt heavier than she expected—like she’d walked into a room that suddenly got colder.

“Better for who?” she asked, her voice calm but edged with something she couldn’t quite swallow down.

Joe exhaled through his nose and rubbed the back of his neck, the way he always did when he was trying not to fumble something important, and that’s when she understood—this wasn’t about her being at the game; it was about what it would look like if she was.

“You know how it goes,” he said softly. “If someone sees you in the box, or walking in, or even catching you on the sideline for five seconds—it’s headlines. It’s noise. And then suddenly it’s not about football anymore, it’s about us.”

She stared at him, the warmth in her eyes dimming just slightly, not because she didn’t understand, but because she did—and she was tired of understanding.

“You think I’d be a distraction?” she asked, not flinching, not accusing, just asking.

“No,” Joe said quickly, his voice sharper now—not with anger, but with urgency. “God, no. You’re the opposite. You’re the only thing that makes any of this feel… quiet. But the world doesn’t know that. They’ll twist it. They always twist it.”

Fernanda looked down for a moment, then back up, her fingers curling into the blanket on her lap.

“So… we just keep pretending we’re nothing?”

Joe’s eyes dropped. “It’s not pretending. It’s just… keeping it ours. For a little longer.”

Her chest tightened—not because he didn’t want her there, but because he did, and he was afraid of what the world might do with it. And still, the fear landed the same way—on her, on her visibility, her presence, her career.

“You want me to stay home,” she said, her voice low now, more sad than sharp.

“I want to protect this,” he said. “I’ve seen what the noise does to something good. I’ve seen it ruin people.”

She stood up then—not fast, not theatrical, just with the kind of deliberate movement that says I need space to think, and walked toward the kitchen without looking back, pausing only when she reached the fridge, her fingers trailing across the handle before turning.

“You’re not the only one who knows how loud the world can get,” she said quietly. “I’ve had headlines written about me since I was nineteen. I’ve survived every narrative they threw at me. And I’m still standing.”

Joe didn’t say anything at first, just watched her with a kind of helplessness that felt too big for the room.

Fernanda exhaled. “Sometimes being careful feels a lot like being ashamed.”

That one landed. It hit—right in the place where his worry had been living, turning over and over like a coin he couldn’t spend.

He crossed the room slowly, stopping just in front of her, his voice softer than it had been all night.

“I’m not ashamed of you. Not ever. I just—this is the only thing in my life that feels untouched. And I don’t want to lose it to a headline.”

She stared at him, quiet for a moment, then stepped a little closer, enough that she could press her hand to his chest, right where she felt his breath catch.

“You don’t have to protect me from the world, Joe,” she said. “You just have to stand next to me in it.”

And maybe that’s what cracked something open in him—not because she was asking for more than he could give, but because she was asking him to believe in what they’d built outside of the shadows, to trust it enough to risk being seen.

He nodded, slowly.

“Okay,” he said. “Come to the game.”

She smiled, small but steady.

“You sure?”

Joe gave a half-shrug, honest to a fault.

“No. But I want you there anyway.”

And maybe that’s what love looked like in a life like theirs—not grand gestures or kiss cams or matching jerseys, but a quiet agreement to walk side by side, even when the flashbulbs start, even when the headlines spin, even when fear says hide—because the only way to live without hiding is to stop waiting for permission to be seen.

And this time, they weren’t going to wait.

It was colder than she expected.

Even inside the suite, insulated by thick glass and corporate comfort, Fernanda pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders—not because she was cold exactly, but because being there, really being there, felt bigger than she’d let herself anticipate, like every inch of her body suddenly understood she wasn’t watching from a distance anymore but stepping into something that could easily shift the axis of what they’d built.

She hadn’t meant to draw attention—had slipped in with sunglasses, a low cap, her hair tucked and styled to not scream her name—but the moment she walked through the private entrance and someone looked just a beat too long, she felt it in her gut: the soft spark of recognition, the shift in energy, like someone whispered “Is that—?” and another phone quietly angled upward.

Still, she stayed.

Still, she sat.

Because she’d promised she would.

Because she knew what this meant—to show up, to be seen not as a headline or a blurry Instagram story, but as a presence in his world, not hidden behind studio doors or half-answered texts but there, watching number nine warm up with the kind of focus that had always made her chest ache in the best way.

She watched him stretch, helmet in hand, body taut with purpose, and remembered the way he’d looked that morning—hair still damp from the shower, hoodie askew, trying to butter toast while reading an injury report, and how he’d kissed her temple without saying anything, just pressed his mouth there like a promise and a thank you all at once.

And now he was down there—her quietly chaotic quarterback, pretending not to glance up toward her suite while absolutely, definitely doing it.

She knew the look.

Knew the way his eyes skimmed the crowd like he wasn’t searching for her until the second they landed on hers—and didn’t move.

She raised her hand slightly, not a wave, just… a presence.

A confirmation that yes, I’m here. I said I would be.

And his expression didn’t change, not in any loud way, but she saw the breath he let go of, saw the set of his shoulders shift like something loosened inside him, like her being there was the last click in the lock.

She turned back to the field when the anthem started, but not before she noticed the group of girls a few rows down whispering, phones half-out, one of them pulling up a paparazzi shot of her from last year’s Met Gala.

She heard the words “Joe’s girl?” and “Wait, is that—?”

And for a split second, her heart jumped.

But then the music swelled.

And the lights shifted.

And the game began.

And none of it mattered.

Because even with all of that—whispers, glances, the press sure to come by morning—she stayed.

She clapped when he ran out of the tunnel.

She leaned forward during third downs.

She gripped the edge of the seat cushion like it could change the outcome of a two-minute drill.

Because she wasn’t just there as a pop star.

She wasn’t there for headlines or for proof.

She was there because he made her tea with lemon when her voice cracked, because he sang the wrong lyrics to her songs on purpose just to make her laugh, because he kissed her wrist when he thought she was asleep and called her his favorite quiet.

She was there because love is not a secret.

And when Joe looked up at her after a touchdown, subtle but unmistakable, not raising his arm, not blowing a kiss—just looking—she didn’t flinch.

She smiled.

Small. Steady. Certain.

And somewhere below, helmet still on, he smiled back.

Not a big one. Not the kind that made highlight reels.

Just the kind that meant I see you. And I’m glad you’re here.

It wasn’t extravagant—not the kind of birthday anyone would flex online or fold into a highlight reel—but when Fernanda walked into Joe’s living room on November 3rd and saw what waited for her—soft lighting, foam panels, a makeshift recording nook tucked beside the bookshelf—it hit her like the kind of moment you don’t prepare for, the kind that doesn’t need balloons or champagne to feel sacred, just intention, quiet and golden and completely disarming.

She hadn’t expected much, not this year. Not with him back in season, balancing practices, press, and the constant rhythm of game prep. She assumed he’d forget—not in a careless way, but in the way people do when the world’s loud and time slips through your fingers. Maybe a text, a dinner squeezed between film study and sleep. But not this.

She blinked, taking it in—the mic stand she thought she left in L.A. somehow here, her beat-up headphones hanging from a hook, a small interface already lit up beside his laptop, the DAW open with a blank project titled Studio F, and the sticky note beside it, messily scribbled with press record whenever you’re ready. It felt less like a gift and more like an invitation back to herself.

Joe stood a few feet behind her, trying not to smile too much, hands shoved in his hoodie pocket, still faintly smelling like eucalyptus balm and black coffee, the kind of scent that lingered on his game-day towels. His hair was a little messy from the helmet earlier, his shoulders still loose from post-practice rehab, and the circles under his eyes told her he hadn’t slept much.

“You did this?” she asked softly, awe folding into her voice.

He scratched the back of his neck, a little awkward but not apologetic. “Technically, yeah. I mean—I built it. But I definitely panicked about acoustics and called in some help.”

Her brow lifted. “Help?”

He nodded. “Got someone to track down your usual setup. Screenshots, late-night gear hunting, the whole thing. I might’ve bugged your producer, too. But I didn’t tell him why, so I think we’re good.”

She laughed, and it came out so easily—like a relief more than a sound, like something being unknotted in her chest. And he watched her with that same look he always did when she laughed: like nothing else in the room mattered.

“You did all this,” she said again, more to herself than him, turning to run her fingers along the desk edge, touching the soft foam of the panels.

“You built albums out of hotel rooms and heartbreak,” he said, stepping beside her. “Figured I could give you at least one corner of peace.”

And that was him. Not flashy. Not loud with love. But deliberate. Thoughtful. A little nerdy. A little awkward. But always watching. Always listening.

He didn’t plan the day off. Didn’t make some elaborate dinner or rent out a rooftop. Hell, he had film to review and bruises that hadn’t faded. But he gave her something better—time carved out of chaos. Space in the middle of the storm.

She looked up at him, the fullness in her chest almost too much to speak through, and whispered, “You know you’ve ruined every birthday going forward, right?”

He grinned. “Guess I’ll have to keep outdoing myself.”

And that night, when she curled up in the glow of fairy lights, guitar in her lap, voice soft and unsure as she tested a new melody, Joe sat beside her on the floor—cross-legged, hoodie sleeves pushed up, not interrupting, not offering notes. Just watching.

Because in a season filled with cameras, blitzes, and interviews—he made space for something quiet. And that was love too.

In the fluorescent buzz of the locker room, the win still humming through the walls like static, Joe sat at his cubby with his head tilted slightly down, towel draped around his neck, hair damp with sweat and exhaustion and the weight of another game behind him. The room around him was noise—cleats clattering against tile, the slap of back pats, the faint sound of press chatter outside the double doors. But Joe was quiet, his focus narrowed on his phone screen like it held something holy.

“She gone already?” Ja’Marr asked from two stalls down, unlacing his gloves with a smirk that barely tried to hide the tease.

Joe didn’t look up. “Yeah.”

“Damn. Cold.” Sam Hubbard laughed, stepping past with a Gatorade, catching the corner of Joe’s grin before it even fully formed. “She didn’t wait for the post-game hero speech?”

“She just got off a flight,” Joe said, though his voice held no real defense, only fact. “Came straight to the stadium. She was tired.”

“Man,” Ja’Marr drawled, flopping onto the bench like he had nowhere to be. “She flew in, watched you win, and ghosted.”

“She didn’t ghost,” Joe muttered, and now the smile was there, tugging at the corners of his mouth like he couldn’t stop it even if he wanted to. “She left me food at home.”

That earned a low whistle.

“Ohhh,” someone said behind them. “She a keeper.”

Joe didn’t respond. He just stared at the message still lighting up his screen—You looked good out there. Get some sleep. Left your favorite pasta in the fridge. I’ll be in the studio if I can’t sleep.

There was no kiss emoji. No heart. Just her—unfussy, quiet in her care, a presence even in absence.

And when the team moved on to louder jokes and victory stats, Joe sat still for a moment longer, thumbs brushing the edge of his phone, heart pacing slower than it had an hour ago on the field. He didn’t say much. He never did when it came to her. But his silence had changed. It used to be armor. Now it was something else—something gentler.

Something that sounded a lot like peace.

She didn’t mean to write that night, not really, not in any structured, deliberate way—she’d only come into the studio nook to escape the hum in her chest that wouldn’t let her rest, a kind of quiet ache that followed her home from the stadium and hadn’t let up even after the makeup was wiped off and the cheers had faded to memory, and now here she was, cross-legged on the carpet with her guitar resting against her thigh like it belonged there, fingers idly tugging at old, familiar chords that never made it into songs but always managed to unlock something true.

The glow from the laptop screen was soft, the DAW already open from earlier in the day when she tried and failed to write something lighter, something casual, something people could dance to—but this wasn’t that kind of night, and she wasn’t that kind of calm.

She plucked out a chord progression without thinking, something minor, something that sat heavy in the air, and before she could talk herself out of it, she hit record, leaned in to the mic with her headphones half-on, and sang the first words that had been pressing against her ribcage for weeks.

We were crazy to think / Crazy to think that this could work / Remember how I said I’d die for you?

She paused, breath catching slightly—not because it hurt to say it, but because it was the first time she had, and there was something holy about putting it into melody, about admitting that loving Joe had always felt a little reckless and impossibly sacred at the same time.

She closed her eyes, let the next verse pour out without filtering it through image or expectation, because this wasn’t for a label or a rollout or a room full of writers trying to make heartbreak feel catchy—this was for her, just her, and maybe him, if he ever heard it, though she wasn’t sure she was brave enough for that yet.

And I can’t talk to you when you’re like this / Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town / I’m New York City, I still do it for you, babe…

The words weren’t subtle and they weren’t polished, but they were real, and that felt more important than perfection.

She thought about the fights—small ones, rare ones, but heavy in their own way, full of that silent fear that maybe the outside world would get too loud and they’d stop hearing each other, the way he sometimes looked away when she wanted him to hold eye contact, the way she dared him to leave before she could beg him not to, because part of her was still learning how to trust that love could stay when it wasn’t being chased.

She thought about the way he touched her wrist instead of her waist, how he sat on the floor while she recorded and never asked to hear what she was writing, how he didn’t say I love you yet but somehow made her feel it in every quiet thing he did.

And then she sang it—

Religion’s in your lips / Even if it’s a false god / We’d still worship this love…

There was something devastatingly honest about calling it a false god—because she didn’t know if they’d last, didn’t know if what they were building would survive the season, the press, the distance, but she knew it was sacred in its own way, that she would kneel at the altar of this feeling for as long as it lived in her, even if it broke her someday.

And she knew it was him—of course it was him, the way he built her a studio when he should’ve been sleeping, the way he watched the stars like they had answers, the way he looked at her like she was some kind of miracle wrapped in mess.

She wasn’t deeply religious, but she grew up in a house where faith filled every room—her mother prayed out loud, believed in signs, lit candles on Sundays. Fernanda never rejected it, just held it differently, more quietly.

But some nights, when Joe touched the side of her face like he was checking to make sure she was real, when he whispered “good job” to the fern like it needed encouragement to grow, when he kissed the top of her head after a loss and never asked her to perform joy she didn’t feel—on those nights, she started to wonder if maybe God had made him just for her.

She didn’t stop recording.

She just kept singing—line after line, verse after verse—until the truth no longer felt terrifying, only tender.

And outside the door, down the hallway, where she didn’t know he stood listening in the dark, Joe stayed still, barely breathing, letting her voice fill the spaces he hadn’t known were empty.

She wouldn’t know until later.

That he’d heard.

That he’d understood.

That maybe her song said what her mouth hadn’t dared to.

That maybe they were already worshipping something real.

Even if neither of them had named it yet.

In December, when Joe got injured again, Fernanda was there—quietly, without the performance. She moved in the margins of the hospital and postgame press chaos, her presence never loud, but never absent either. The media caught pieces of it: a blurred photo, a headline, a guess. They didn’t run, didn’t deny, didn’t feed the noise. They were just… there. Calm. Unshaken. Almost like they’d learned how to exist under pressure without flinching, like they were built for surviving impact.

Because Joe never loved anyone loudly. He didn’t make grand speeches or post tributes or kiss anyone under stadium lights. He loved in the smallest ways possible—in watching her shows from the corner of the room, in making sure her tea never went cold, in learning how to be still beside someone who never stopped moving. And Fernanda, for all her chaos and color and noise, never asked him to be louder. She just asked him to be there. And he always was.

Maybe that was what made it love. Not the volume, but the constancy. Not how the world saw it, but how it held them, quietly, when everything else got too loud.

And in the end, that was what mattered most. Not how they started. Not even how they’d end.

But the fact that for a while—through all of it—they chose each other, gently, every day.

#joe burrow #joe burrow x oc #joe burrow x reader #cincinnati bengals #nfl football #nfl #fanfiction #nfl fan fic #angst with a happy ending

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moonlit-escape · 6 months ago

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imma be so real with you guys rn i've always seen mcd and mystreet as the twilight of the minecraft roleplaying sphere.

#both fandoms have even aged like fine wine over the years #they just have the same vibes. mcd especially #i should put together a collage. of all the media from that time one the internet that all give off that vibe #it would include some old shall we date otome games too #anyway going to bed now #eli rambles on

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seventh-district · 3 months ago

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hhhrrrhggrghrghhhhhhh

ok i'm continuing my tag-yapping under a cut bc the tag limit can’t even hope to contain me this morning

CW: vent post (<- bc i don't have room for it in the tags and while this isn't quite like my typical vent posts, it definitely still has a lot of. idk. negative vibes. so. idk guys just scroll on by and leave me to my insanity)

(also i suppose i should warn for Arcane and Stranger Things spoilers, and Genshin Impact leaks. how did we get here idk this post is a fucking mess)

[continuing from where the tags left off]

like i have seen just enough spoilers to know that it’s gonna be another Eddie Stranger Things situation for me again. and that fixation was terrible man like don’t get me wrong i enjoy him a very normal amount these days and it’s fine but at the beginning??? i grieved that MF like he was a real person bro it was embarrassing. it literally brought me back to one of the worst emotional states i’ve ever suffered through. being prone to hyperfixating is fun and all until you’re sobbing in bed losing ur mind over missing someone that never even existed and you can’t function in your day-to-day life. then it’s not so fun. but anyways time lessens the pain of all wounds or whatever and i eventually became normal about Eddie. but like man. man i’ve got quite the feeling that Viktor will put me in a similar state. maybe hopefully not quite so bad but like. mmm. it would be a very bad idea to finally watch the show at this point in my life, given that things have quite literally never been worse and are only getting worse-er. but I Do Not Control The Fixation and i made the mistake of falling down a reaction-video rabbit hole on YT the other day. which i always regret bc i always end up on some random new misogynistic republican man’s channel who i’ve never heard of before and i just hurt my own feelings and it makes me lose hope in humanity and. it’s just always a bad time. like i only follow a very select few reaction channels who i actually enjoy but then i click on one (1) video and the fucking recommended videos always pull me in different directions and next thing i know it’s 3 hours later and i’m on a very different part of the internet and i realize oh there’s actually a lot of hate in the world. how did i get here. anyways.

about halfway down the rabbit hole i was watching some therapist guy reacting to Arcane bc i wanted to see his reaction to the Viktor and Jayce “Am I interrupting?” scene from S1EP2 bc it’s literally the only scene i’ve watched in-full (yes i engage with media in a very non-linear way don’t ask why there’s just something wrong with me) and bro. when i fucking tell you it felt like i got hit by a truck the moment Viktor was on screen— ,,,….,.,… like i didn’t realize how long it’d been since i’d seen it. and i. you know that meme that’s like “hyperfixation so bad i can’t engage with the source material”? yeah i experience that. like a lot. and i had one of those moments then. bc like. i’ve enjoyed his character for a long time. from a… distance? bc i’ve just never been ready to let the fixation fully hit me. ….. dear god i’ve been microdosing blorbos. jesus christ that’s funny. anyways where was i.

yeah i like. i read a bit of Viktor fanfic and admire fanart and gifs from the show and i have learned some of the gist of what’s going on with him through a particular creator’s rp audios that i have played to absolute death bc they’re very good. so i’m like. already attached to the character. he’s up there in my head with all the other blorbos. but i’ve never fully engaged with the source material. and so when he came on screen in that guy’s reaction video it was like. idk how to describe it. staring at the sun? or like. taking too much of a drug… idk i can’t. find the right metaphor. but it was just. Intense and it hit me all at once and i literally had to close the video like— i couldn’t take it lmfao. but ever since that i’ve got this urge to finally watch the show in full. but i’ve gathered through out-of-context screenshots and bits of people’s reactions to S2 that he.. dies? i think?? possibly more than once??? like i don’t really know any details and have very little context to go off of but i am surmising that he loses himself in hextech and goes robo-jesus mode in his search for тhe Glorious Ovulation or whatever the fuck is going on in this show that he then. dies?? with Jayce??? or ascends to the astral realm or some shit. like i literally have no clue what’s going on in that screenshot that was all over tumblr for a while after S2 dropped but. something is happening and i think it’s gonna be sad. (lmao i'm rereading this and i gotta say the Russian T wasn't intentional, i was typing too fast and accidentally switched keyboards instead of capitalizing it. but it made me laugh so i'm leaving it)

and like. i recognize that a character’s death can serve a respectable purpose in a good story and death is an inevitable part of life and all that. i respect it. but u must also understand that i am a sensitive little baby who has to endure enough angst in my real life that i selfishly want all my fave little blorbos to live forever and ever and happily ever after off into the sunset. okay? duality of man or whatever. (well, the happily part isn’t rlly necessary. i love angst i just hate death. they don’t gotta be happy forever they just gotta be alive. there is. a Reason that one of Saoirse’s defining characteristics is their infinite revivals resulting in effective immortality. all the angst of death with none of the permanence. and there’s a Reason that a lot of my favorite characters are Gods and angels and demons and vampires and werewolves and cyborgs and automatons. long-life species. i want so much more time than i’m ever gonna get and i Will project that onto the media i create and consume. next question.) so. where was i. oh yeah. so like. while i Accept the fact that Viktor’s presumably gonna die. i just know it’s gonna be an Eddie situation with me again and i don’t think my fragile psyche can handle that rn. so i guess i’ll just suppress the desire to watch Arcane until morale improves.

which is probably wise regardless of the emotional impact it’ll have on me given that i’m in one of my migraine-prone phases again and i know myself well enough to know damn well that if i start watching it rn i’ll binge the whole thing in like 2 days, induce a god-awful migraine from the screen-staring and lose touch with reality in the process. and hate myself for wasting time on a show when i could be doing literally anything else. like that’s a major reason i hardly ever watch anything anymore bc it just makes me feel more guilty for being lazy. bc like. in my mind if i’m writing or coloring or playing a game or engaging in any hobby that requires me to interact with it in some way, i can feel less bad for wasting time on it bc i’m at least Doing something. but watching a show or a movie or even a YT video just feels that much more lazy bc i’m literally just laying in bed staring at a screen not moving or using my brain. and i realize that i wouldn’t ever criticize someone else for it but. there’s another standard when it comes to me. like i know i should be studying and learning and working and cleaning and exercising and socializing and forcing myself to attend to all the adult responsibilities that are piling up on me. so if i’m gonna keep avoiding them then the least i could do is do something at least pseudo-productive instead. (even if that’s spending 2 hours yapping on Tumblr about how i can’t decide what to do today. apparently)

OKAY it's 12pm and i'm back. i drafted this post and forced myself out of bed, gave the entire bathroom a good cleaning, straightened up the living room, cleaned all the trash out of my bedroom, put a honeysuckle cube in my wax melter, got some ice cream and now i'm back to finish yapping.

the storms seem to have let up and i Should get in the shower but now my back hurts and i'm tired bc i have enough energy for approximately 1.5 tasks per day. so i'll just stay greasy until tomorrow. and due to the way the shower drains in this dysfunctional house i'll still have to speedrun my shower even then, or manually drain the septic tank since the ground is so saturated with water rn. and god it's supposed to rain more in a few days.. this is not gonna be good for the mold and structural problems. sigh. anyways where was i. god this post got long i am just a yapping machine today aren't i? we're taking the 'public diary' tag to heart with this one, boys

okay i got dragged away to deal with some stupid shit and it's now past 1pm and the smell of the wax melt is threatening to bring my migraine back and making my throat hurt and the sugar from the ice cream is making me feel sick. so today is falling apart spectacularly as per usual and i will likely get nothing else done except the dinner i have to make. maybe i'll be able to force myself to brush my teeth before bed. i love being mentally ill it's great we have fun here. /sarc

i hate how i've only got 10 or so hours of energy in me these days even though i get plenty of sleep. i wanna go to beeeeed and the rain outside the window is lulling me. anyways. i Will finish this comically long vent post if it's the last thing i do today.

take a shot every time i say anyways.

o k a y. it is nearly 5pm. and i might, just maybe might, finally be able to sit down and finish this. i am now finally back at my desk with pain thrumming in my back and legs and knees and my tummy is grumbling. but the overwhelming honeysuckle smell in my room has dissipated and my migraine hasn't returned yet and at least i can relax in a nice quiet dark cool 63 degree room after spending hours in a loud brightly lit 78 degree environment. so that's something to be grateful for. god bless my AC unit

maybe one day i'll get the chance to live a life that's actually my own. but until then i suppose there's always escapism!

speaking of, all day i've had my new Venti fic on my mind. calling it a fic sounds too.. grandiose? but it's too big to be a oneshot. what do you call a ~20k word story split into a few chapters. 'novella' sounds way too fancy to be used for fanfic. 'short story' sounds generic and also implies that it's original content. i guess it's just a small fic. a mini-fic maybe. yet another oneshot that got way outta hand. his rerun banner goes live on the uh.. 16th i think. and if i lock in i Could get the fic ready to post by then. and i think i'd like to. but there's no telling what happens in my day-to-day life that might prevent me from doing so. and it's not like there's really any good reason that i'm trying to make the two things line up, i just like using arbitrary days and dates as a source of motivation ig. but we're getting a bit of a Mondstadt revival(!!!) in 5.6 so i could also wait until then and it would still feel kinda celebratory. but it's an angsty story so idk why i'm trying to pair it up with a happy day anyways lmao. his birthday is coming up on 6/16 so i've got 2 days and 10 months. .. god i'm more tired than i thought. okay nope lets try that again. i've got 2 months and 10 days to get either the last chapters of Heaven In Hiding or some other new little fic ready to go up if i wanna post something else for his birthday. or maybe my real life horrors will take precedence and i won't get anything finished in time. that's a very real possibility.

i've been getting the urge to write for ES and [N]MbD again too. and i finally played through the Banana Outrage quest from HSR 2.6 and am now sitting on several ideas for Boothill comfort and reverse comfort oneshots. and i feel like there was some other character i had an idea to write for but my tired brain cannot recall it, if it ever existed. i've been sitting on a finished Ghost Band Dew x Reader OCD comfort fic for aaages now but i'm. embarrassed about it bc i just bullshit.. bullshitted.. bullshat? my way through the entire premise/setup and i feel like it's silly or inaccurate bc i have. Zero idea how a ministry.. monastery?.. church? thingy?? like whatever exists in the Ghost lore actually works. like i'm not even trying to adhere to canon so i guess i have as much creative freedom as i want but i also feel like what i wrote is unrealistic even within the fanon interpretations. and Dew is probably ooc anyway.. so i've been toying with the idea of scrapping the whole thing and rewriting the fic for a third time with some other character from another media that i know better. but hhhhhhh maybe one day i'll just be brave and post it and let ppl make fun of me if it sucks. like i'm not nervous about the actual OCD-comfort aspect bc i know exactly how to handle that. but the world i set the scene in is one i am not familiar enough with. idk, it feels.. forced, to me. which is funny bc the original version of the fic was with Eddie Stranger Things instead 😭 same OCD comfort premise just. different blorbo in a different setting. but my fixation on him waned and i hadn't fully fleshed the scene out yet anyway so i just scrapped it and used the idea for a Dew Ghost fic instead. but i've sat on it for so long that that fixation has waned as well and now i'm like... do i keep recycling this stupid oneshot for different blorbos indefinitely or what? idk. it's Overthinking Hours rn i guess

my Point is that i hate how as soon as i tell myself 'No More Fics Until You Get A Damn License' i suddenly have ideas and motivation for ten different projects. and yes i know it's probably just my avoidance manifesting itself. wanting to busy myself with writing so i can feel productive while avoiding my greatest fears. but knowing that doesn't change that it's happening!! i am sitting here hyper-self-aware in a hell of my own creation!!

but i should know better by now than to think i can force myself to do something by denying myself other things. it always ends up with me just doing nothing instead. there is no force strong enough to motivate me until the consequences of inaction become genuinely unbearable. and brother i can bear a lot in the name of avoidance.

and it's not like the environment i'm in is whatsoever encouraging me. maybe i'd feel different about it if i had a safe, functional vehicle to drive instead of something that won't even pass the safety inspection. maybe i'd feel different about it if i knew it wasn't gonna run me another $100+ a month on insurance i can't afford and legally have to have. maybe i'd feel different about it if i had someone i liked and trusted that would be patient with me and encourage me every day and teach me everything i need to know instead of just. expecting me to magically obtain all of this knowledge bc i'm 'smart'. like. my father in christ the apple unfortunately doesn't fall that far from the dumbass tree. just because i know a few big words and can weave them together decently when i try real hard doesn't mean everything comes easy to me. i was never all that 'gifted' i'm just good at memorizing shit. i dropped out of school the very second shit got too hard. i have never in my life learned how to study anything. i am a spoiled little baby who never had to try hard and now if it doesn't genuinely hold my attention/pique my interest/fixate me or i can't memorize it within a very short period of time, any and all information will simply bounce right back off of my brain. so tell me how in the fuck i'm supposed to force myself to study something that i not only couldn't care less about, but actively fear. how do i do it.

'you do it scared' yeah yeah i know. i've heard. but unfortunately until the conces get closer to quencing and life forces my hand, i'm afraid i'm just gonna sit here maladaptively playing with silly little characters in my mind and miserably avoiding all my fears just like i have for the past decade.

anyways. what a day. it's 6pm so i've hit my 16-hour consciousness quota and wanna crash in bed but i should try to push it a little further so maybe i'll wake up at a more normal time tomorrow. and just as i figured it might, this unintentional day-long post has chronicled the often-occurring scenario where i stress out about how to spend my day and then the whole day just kinda slips away from me anyways and i don't get anything done that i wanted to. typical Sunday vibes i suppose.

while i won't be watching any shows or doing any writing tonight and don't even feel in the mood to do any gaming, mayhaps i'll linger on Tumblr for a little while longer and fill up my queue so i can feel like i at least did one of the things i thought about doing this morning. i do wish i were more consistently active on this blog bc believe it or not i Do love it here. i'm just often too tired to do just about anything but the bare minimum these days and sadly, blogging is not on that priority list.

but it's not often these days that i put so many of my thoughts into words like i have here and tbh i'm feeling kinda drained now so i might just work on a coloring page, eat my mashed potatoes and let my brain go quiet with some youtube video in the background. that sounds nice. /gen

goodnight, Tumblr.

#Seven's Public Diary #good morning Tumblr. it is 6am on a Sunday i have been awake for 4 hours and it’s already been a Day #woke up from another nightmare in the wee hours of the morning as is usual for me these days. realized the internet was out and tried-#-rebooting it to no success. given all the flooding in town i’m sure it was some issue near the source and not on my end anyway.#resigned myself to an internet-less day. at least the electricity was & is still on so i’m grateful for that. was too awake to go back to-#-sleep since i’d already had ~9hrs. which is what i get for going to bed at 4pm but i had a migraine so it’s not like i could do anything-#-else anyways. which is my fault for playing Genshin for like 8hrs straight and expecting that to not have Consequences for my body.#which was made worse by the fact that i finished the Saurian Ifa-lore event and the cutscene made me cry a lot (/pos) which made the-#-pain worse and then the Migraine Nausea™️ kicked in and i had to lay down and become unconscious asap to escape it.#all i do is consume media and sleep these days anyway it’s fine. (it’s Not fine and the conces are quencing but i can’t. stop.) lol anyway #after a full sleep didn’t rid me of the pain i had to get up and get water and advil anyway. then sat in bed eating a cold burger at 3am #bc nothing screams I Have My Shit Together like eating yesterday’s takeout by phone-light in bed shirtless at 3am with a headache #i am literally the Oh Boy! 3 AM! patrick spongebob meme irl. who want me #anyways then the horrors started creeping in as i realized my plans for the day (more quest grinding in Genshin and perhaps HSR)#(bc it’s Sunday and that’s my dedicated day to game and not feel bad about it) would have to change since no internet = no pc games #and boy oh boy i don’t do well with a change in my plans. so as i miserably spent an hour working through all my little daily language-#-lessons and word and memory games like the little old lady i am. i started mulling over my alternative plans and ended up in a state of-#-decision paralysis. and i hate it here. i almost always know exactly what i want to do on any given day so on the occasions i don’t i just #-feel lost. and then lo and behold the internet came back on! but now i’m thinking of all the other things i could be doing.#like Do i actually want to game. if i do something else will i then regret that i didn’t take the opportunity to game. what do i do #i should start by taking another advil bc 1 wasn’t enough. and i really should shower bc i feel gross but it’s literally been storming-#nearly nonstop for the last 4 days and i don’t fancy getting struck by lightning. it should be over tomorrow so. 1 more day won’t kill me..#sometimes it rlly does feel like the weather reflects my life bc i’ve never seen lightning and flooding and tornadoes like this.#like yeah we get those regularly but idk if it’s ever been this relentless. and given that my life has never been this bad it just feels…#fitting. idk. that’s very self-centered of me to say though. but i do have main character syndrome so. lol. anyways #hey siri play Hell or High Water by Bailey Zimmerman for me please #sigh. i wanna finish my new venti fic but i told myself i wouldn’t work on my writing anymore until i get my license. which isn’t working-#as a means of motivation bc i’m just wasting time on other stuff instead. like i wanna watch Arcane so fucking badly. but i know it’s a-#truly Terrible idea bc i just Know i’m gonna fixate on Viktor to a horrific degree. and i literally don’t have time for that right now #like i will be a Complete Fuckin Wreck over that scrawny little white guy to a frankly embarrassing degree for an indefinite length of time

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rabbithaver · 7 months ago

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like at a certain point, i just don't do enough to justify the resources i steal from other people.

every time i eat something, all i can think about is the fact that it's wasted on me. that food would be so much better off going to literally anyone else on the face of the earth. i don't do enough to deserve to eat. i am not a good enough person.

#i don't do enough activism to make up for my privilege. instead all i do is bitch and whine and make up excuses #there are probably hundreds of millions of other disabled people around the world who have worse pain and worse health than me #who still power through it and contribute. they still help. they push through their struggles and do activism anyway.#the fact that i use my pain as an excuse not to do the same amount everyone else does is fucking disgusting & disrespectful to those people #i constantly bitch and moan and whine and cry like there arent people out there dealing with worse and still campaigning for gaza #those people are doing things to actually help. meanwhile most days i can barely drag my ass out of bed #the fact that i even have a bed at all is incredibly privileged. but i dont do enough to make up for it. this country commits war crimes >#constantly and all i do about it is lie around and complain on the internet while people die. it's so fucking tasteless #god i dont deserve to live this good. i really dont. sure i dont have any money of my own & i have no health insurance but i get >#enough to eat (which i also dont deserve) & i have a bed & heating & my own room. i have a nice laptop i got with my covid money.#i have a consistent internet connection. i have plushies & action figures & video games & comic books.#i live comfortably even if its not the most supportive environment. sure my parents dont use my pronouns but they at least use my name.#sure the constant misgendering wears on me but its literally nothing compared to fhe fact that other people live in active war zones #like rabbit maybe get a little fucking perspective huh??? you selfish fucking prick #rabbit.neg

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inkskinned · 2 years ago

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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

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madlori · 11 months ago

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On being an older fangirl

I was probably 10 years old when I first conceived of what was, looking back, fanfiction. Me and my best friend would lie in bed together on sleepovers and I'd make up stories about what happened after the end of our favorite book, "The Westing Game." She'd ask me for more stories, and I'd tell her more, inventing them as I went along. "Then what?" she'd say.

I was 14 when I went to my first convention. I had discovered Star Trek: The Next Generation. It was 1987, and my youth pastor was a huge Trekkie. He took me to a one-day crappy Creation con, but it was amazing to me. I met Nichelle Nichols. My dad showed me the Trek movies. He and I watched TNG together.

When I went to college in 1991, my dad used to videotape TNG episodes onto VHS tapes and mail them to me, so I could keep watching (I didn't have TV in my dorm room).

By the time I was a senior, we had Trek watching parties in the dorm lounge, where the TV had cable. Star Trek: Voyager had started up, and I wrote a column about it for the college newspaper. I joined a mailing list about it, with people in it that I still know today.

I got my first computer that could go online in 1995. I was on newsgroups. I discovered Doctor Who. I went to Trek conventions where we still passed around fanzines containing fic and art and smutty K/S fan creations.

Then it was Harry Potter. Then there were websites. Then there was Geocities, where we could all make our own little spots. We organized them into webrings. We talked on newsgroups and mailing lists. There were fanfic archives. Then there was fanfiction.net.

Then...there was LiveJournal. And we could interact in entirely new ways. We could form communities, and debate things, and fight over canon, and get into ship wars. On LiveJournal, I met my best friend of 22 years. I was in her wedding. She's my sister of the heart (which is what she calls me).

Then there was Tumblr. And Twitter. And now there's Discord. But it's all the same.

I am the same.

I am still that little girl who made up fanfiction in her head to entertain her best friend. I am still the one who was amazed to find communities on the internet - which was so new, so raw, so uncommodified - where others like me could meet. I found there people to meet in real life.

I am still that twentysomething going to her first major convention, being told that someone loved my fic, being asked about my writing process.

I am still that thirtysomething watching something I wrote blow up. Seeing friends from other fandoms find me in new ones, finding them there, too. Forgetting which fandom I know someone from, because I've known them for twenty years.

I still know some of the people who created those early websites, those mailing lists, those archives. I still meet people in new fandoms who say "Oh, I read your fic in [fandom] fifteen years ago!" There's no feeling quite like having someone remember something you wrote for that long. Or meeting someone whose fic meant a lot to YOU, or who you talked with on rec.arts.drwho.creative in 1997.

Aging in fandom is a gift. Being middle-aged in fandom is a joy. Having people who still read what I write and ask "Then what?" is a blessing.

It breaks my heart that so many people see it as something to be ashamed of, when it is one of my life's greatest gifts.

#fandom #aging in fandom

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muntitled · 3 months ago

Text

Boa

Pairings: Geum Seongje x Fem!Reader

Summary: You're just a kid, caught in a gangster’s crosshairs. What happens when you don’t deliver like you should…

Warnings: Language, Dom!Seongje, Gangsterism, Bullied!Reader, Coercion, Bullying, Extortion, Mentions of Rape, Smut +18 (mdni), Dark fic, Dubious consent, Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Desperate Sex, Humiliation, Degradation

A/N: I'm not responsible for the media you consume. I wrote this for me so...

Ever since you've started working for him, you've learned to get extremely acquainted with the floor.

"I'm sorry, Sir…” your voice is brittle as you try to make yourself heard in the suffocating internet cafe, “I'm short on delivery today..."

Hardwood. Tile. Linoleum. It's become all too familiar to you. The floor is all you see in his presence.

You never looked Seongje in the eyes unless he addresses you first. He likes that, you suspect.

It's kept you alive this long so you must be doing something right.

"I got assigned a kid to tutor and..." you clear your throat, not daring to make direct eye contact, choosing instead, to keep your eyes trained on the dirty, cold floor.

The internet cafe is the very last place you'd want to be on a Friday evening. You were caught right in between two challenging essay due dates- one for English and one for AP English. Both hung gravley over your head, threatening to set off your sympathetic nervous system and have you fainting from academic stress. Seeing him was the very last thing you needed.

"That tutoring time fucked with my system and-" despite all your achievements, despite the academic prestige and the boundless knowledge… in Seongje's presence you feel insignificant.

A bug he's letting scurry around for no other reason except his enjoyment. You didn't want to get stomped on. You saw what happened to the other kids under his thumb and it kept you up at night. All that blood. All the merciless sadism.

You aren't dumb enough to hope an exception would be made for you.

"I'm sorry,” you conclude, and for a second, you get no response. He plays his game. His friends remain silent.

That's all until he pushes the bridge of his glasses up further against his nose. A calm, quiet sigh leaves his lips.

“Before you started working for me, do you know what you were?" Seongje doesn't take his eyes off the screen. His fingers run deftly over the keys as he speaks to you without ever really acknowledging you, "You were in an alleyway, about to get raped by Eunjang scum."

"Yes, Seongje, I know-"

"And in return for my kindness, what did I ask of you?"

"FUCK- COVER ME BRO!" Your eye snaps up to the source of the loud and sudden burst of energy. Your frightened and pitiful eyes find a boy seated adjacent to Seongje and his goons. He's bent over his screen, clearly not a part of the group. Clearly far too young.

Your heart sinks when you realize Seongje's eyes are trained on the boy too.

"Ya…” Seongje raises his voice a decimal above the cacophony yet it has you flinching. “Too loud,” he says to the boy, “Didn’t anyone teach you shut up when adults are talking?” he asks monotonously to the boy- a child really- still mourning the loss of his avatar on the screen. He doesn't pay Seongje any mind.

Of course he doesn't. He's a kid.

How could he have known?

He came to an internet cafe to play a game with his friends.

It's the boy's innocence that hurts the most.

He doesn't know that the monsters under his bed are very real.

They walk where he walks.

They don't hide.

They move about freely.

Your heart makes like the titanic and sinks.

"Excuse me for a second." Seongje addresses you politely, finally giving you a fleeting glance before pushing himself out of his gamer chair. You see his entire row of friends (if that's what one could even refer to them as) remain unfazed as Seongje rounds the table to stand directly behind the young boy.

He’s bigger, far bigger as he pushes the rims of his glasses up, staring directly at you

"I know you're smart so you're probably aware that your fuck-up won't be tolerated-” he says to you, despite slithering his arm around the boys neck like a boa as he squeezes. Everyone keeps their eyes trained to their computers. Your fist curls at your side. You want to look away but you can't because you're speaking to Seongje. You wouldn't want to aggravate him further by showing him his mindlessly violence bothers you. So you try not to flinch.

You try not to let the casual violence scare you. How nonchalantly he speaks while an elementary school boy flails in his arms, begging to be released from the headlock making his lips turn blue

“You knew there'd be a punishment,” Seongje is still speaking to you. You hold your breathe in solidarity with the boy choking in his arms, “-for fucking up your delivery-” crimson blossoms onto the little boys face but Seongje keeps his eyes on you, appearing unfazed by the boy flailing like an animal in arms, "And yet you came anyway. That's the kinda work ethic, I like-” he smiles, “I like it alot-"

Eventually, after what feels like forever, he lets go of the boy. You finally breathe as well, watching as the kid slumps forward ingesting the air in horrid gasps.

Seongje bends forward, patting the boy on the back.

"No more interrupting when I speak, yeah?" Whether the boy was new to this particular internet cafe, it was unclear, but you hoped to whatever divine being that he wouldn't dare come back.

"So I'll let it slide-" He turns his attention back to you and you watch, still shaken up as Seongje leaves the little boy to make his way back to his side of the table. When he breezes past you he smells like nothing. Like his eyes, everything about him is empty.

"Thank you, Seongje-"

He nods before adding, "After you get on your knees." The goon sitting nearest to you, all the way at the end of the table, his fingers hover over the keys, and just like before, the room is rid of all air.

"Excuse me?”

He pulls out his chair for you, like some mimic of a perfect gentleman he opens his arm, gesturing you in.

"I want you on your knees, under the desk.” His words hang above you all. It has tears threatening to spill. Bile rising.

“What’s with the face? Its not like I’m asking you to suck my dick,”

"Seongje, I need to get home-"

"If you can't do it yourself I'm more than happy to help."

That has your legs moving into action. In your periphery, it feels as though everyone's watching you. A thing in psychology called the imaginary audience. When you're so self-conscious you concoct this idea of being the center of attention… only this time, it's real. You know they're all watching you. You know no one will do anything about it.

"Under the desk you go," he chuckles before sitting down and pushing his chair back in. You back away, creating intense distance between you. Your back hits dirty wires and your knees press hesitantly down onto the grime just to achieve a more comfortable position. Everything you see is his legs, his friends legs and you're suddenly hit with the overwhelming urge to cry.

You want to scream at him to let you go. He's hijacked you from your endless pile of homework and yet the very thought of standing up for yourself causes a sea of nausea.

So you sit there in the dark, not knowing when this punishment would conclude. When would he let you go home? That sends you into another spiral. You've heard Seongje could game for 24 hours straight. Maybe more if he was in close vicinity to food and a bathroom. You knew this internet cafe would close eventually, that gives you the smallest sliver of hope and so you do your time.

Never once does he acknowledge you- the girl under his desk. Unbeknownst to Seongje, you catch one of his fellow gang members sneak multiple glances at you under the table. They all do. Like they enjoy seeing you under here. As time passes, and you slip further and further away from the stress, you realize that down here, on the floor, under his desk, the world is small. It's quite comforting actually and that wasn't the trauma talking.

You've always liked small spaces.

It definitely beat dealing with whatever he had going on up there half the time.

Slowly, your body begins to shut down. Your energy plummets from all the stress and all the thoughts. This is the first time you've been forced into a spot for too long doing nothing. No essays. No tutoring.

Due to tendencies from your childhood that you should've gotten rid of, you find yourself curling up against his leg. He stiffens and you snap out of the exhaustion long enough to reel back. Especially when you see his hand reach under the table. Your heart hammers in your chest, not a single word spoken as his hand searches for something. You move a bit closer until his hand catches on your hair. You wince as he drags you closer, pushing your head against his leg as you had done.

He leaves you there. You try to regulate your breathing as you feel him adjust in his seat above you.

You shift as well. Not your head. He clearly wants you there. But your legs are uncomfortable. You try to kneel and it's ridiculous because your head never leaves his leg.

No position seems comfortable enough until he stretches his leg out, right in between yours and you're made to straddle it. Above you, his fingers are still hitting the keys and you try to disassociate from the fact that his leg is pushing against your cunt. You try to sneak a peek at the surface, his glasses are trained on the screen. Not knowing whether it's your exhaustion making a reappearance but you could've sworn you hear the words, "good girl," release from him in a low drawl.

Something in his tone has you shifting over his leg. Your cunt warms against his leg and you fight the urge to buck against him. All you had to do was remember who it is that you're currently touching. That conscious reminder has you once again hellbent on doing your time with concrete resolve.

That resolve breaks.

It shatters when he eases his back against the chair, enough to once again slither his hand down towards you.

He curls his fist into your hair and tugs.

He pushes you down and lifts you up and you mindlessly follow his movements until you realize he's coaxed you into riding his leg.

He lets go of your hair, satisfied when your hips move out of their own accord.

You hate how good it feels to quite literally be beneath him. You look up and you whimper oh so quietly when you see that small smile play on his lips while his eye remains on the screen.

He's given you new instructions now and so you don't dare to stop moving your hips against him. Despite the damp spot forming on the seat of your underwear. You're not sure what it is that allows you to lose yourself so easily. Perhaps it's all the expectations that melt away when you're doing something so pitiful. You're breaking for him and he's letting you. You're not in control of anything and there's freedom in that.

“F-Fuck-” you didnt mean for the words to slip. There are still other people here but you also couldn't help the wave of pleasure that pushed up so suddenly. Your clit is moving against the fabric of his pants just right and your eyes threaten to roll to the back of your head.

The second that whimper escapes your mouth, he stiffens again.

You watch as he leans back again, this time his hand isn't reaching out for you. It's to ghost over the bulge forming in his pants. Somehow that spurs you on more.

You grind against him desperately and before he can take his hand away, this time you reach up for him.

You watch him closely. The glare from the screen reflects on his glasses. His jaw, tight.

He controls the game easily with one hand, while you bring the other into your mouth.

You're not sure where this other side of you came from. This vixen who rolls her tongue out and forces his index and ring finger into her warm mouth.

He becomes more and more restless… His breath hitching. Seongje's fingers hit the keys more aggressively, while his right hand forces his fingers further down your throat. His hips buck upwards and you can see the damp spot forming where his cock is straining against his pants. He's about to cum in his pants and you're about to cum on his leg and it's far too much for you.

You know his friends are about. You try to preserve even a sliver of dignity but it all goes out the window.

“Fuck-” he spits out, slamming his fist on the table before abandoning the game. There's a fire in his eyes as he sits back to watch you peer up at him with complete and utter desperation.

“What a fucking slut-” he snarled, cleaely audible enough for not only him but his friends too. It has your mouth snapping open. Your back arches as you try to watch him watching you cum on his leg.

You've never held his attention for this long and it sends you off the edge.

“S-Seongje-” you barely squeak out as your cunt spasms against his leg. You rut uncontrollably, spurred on by the name That fell from your lips as if your body needed a reminder of just who it was making you cum. Your tormentor.

It has you seeing stars.

For all of 11 seconds.

Until it comes crashing down on you. Your pitiful act has you reeling. Mind spinning.

You don't want to look up at him but you have nowhere else to look. Your heart sinks when you see a smile form slowly across his lips… Somehow you knew you'd never be rid of him.

#weak hero class 1 #weak hero class two #weak hero class 2 #geum seongje #geum seong je #geum seong je x reader #geum seongje x reader #seongje x reader #seongje smut #weak hero class 1 smut #weak hero class 1 x reader #weak hero class one fanfic #weak hero class one smut #weak hero class 2 x reader #lee junyoung #kdrama #kdrama fanfic

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k4lenz · 5 months ago

Text

big guy ✮ jschlatt x fem!reader hcs

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

a/n: what up! i wrote this for my gorgeous loml best friend @plantring who definitely wasn’t holding me at gunpoint, and i’ve been meaning to write a schlatt fic for ages! so, here you go. big guy. maybe charlie next 👀 also the song was just the song i’ve been repeating and had in mind while i wrote this fic ! i hope you guys like it :)

notes: jambo, other unnamed cat referred to as ‘burnt soup’, swearing, cuddles, nicknames, twitch, wii games series, tucker keane & Ted nivison, chuckle sandwich mention, romantic, drinking, hobbies, singing, SFW, NSFW UNDER THE CUT!! , grabby schlatt /pos

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

sfw hcs ˚⟡˖ ࣪

☼ toots. he calls you toots, all the time, every day. it’s either a cheesy nickname, sweets, toots, baby, sweetheart, or sugar. he’s new yorkian yk.

☾ he’ll call you them before you even start dating, just to watch your cheeks flush pink and lips fall agape. the image ingrained in his mind permanently.

☼ such a flirt, before you start dating. he’ll make a wild joke to nobody in particular when you’re with friends, noticing how everybody will laugh but yours is hoarse. watching you squirm in your seat as he lets out a little chuckle, is how he gathers you like him.

☾ you’re the flirtiest friends, and everyone can see it but you two.

☼ maybe your mutual point of realisation is at his house, when he complains about shaving and you offer to shave his chops. “y’better not fuck this up, lady. these are the money bags.” he’d tease, making you laugh. you sit on his lap, claiming it’s for ‘better access’ as you clean up his face.

☾ like i said with ted, schlatt’s also a romantic. maybe a little more old school, but definitely romantic. he’d ask you out on a date first, with pretty flowers and that charming fucking smile. then ask you to be his girlfriend. what? he isn’t a pussy.

☼ if you two don’t live together, he likes seeing you in his space more. he can’t quite describe why, maybe it’s just waking up with you tangled in his sheets in his bed in his room with his cats cuddling up next to you like you’ve been there forever.

☾ speaking of the cats, they’ve picked you over him. if you both call their names at the same time, both the cats will come running to you as if schlatt isn’t even there.

☼ “what the fuck?” he mutters, picking up jambo. “i pay for your food, house you, give you love and attention. and this is how you repay me, shithead? huh? by picking her over me? fuck you!” he frowns, holding jambo up as the orange cat simply meows in response. jambo’s paw finds his nose, and schlatt’s eyes glance at you. seeing you giggling as you cuddled burnt soup like a baby. “you too, you fuckin’ traitor.” he proclaims, pointing at the purring black cat in your hands who’s giving him the cutest stare ever.

☾ huh, kind of reminds him of you.

☼ if you have a pet too, even better.

☾ got a cat? he’ll try and make your cat love him more then you. it doesn’t work, but if you comment he’ll say it’s a work in progress. insists on feeding it every time he’s at your house, probably figures out some sort of nickname for your kitty. cuddles it every chance he gets.

☼ got a dog? he’ll pretend he doesn’t like it, call it dopey since he’s always proclaiming he doesn’t like dogs. but you catch him babying and cuddling your dog when he thinks you’re not around too often to believe him.

☾ best believe jambo and burnt soup will get mad at him when he comes home with another animal’s smell on him, but never get mad at you. he’s such a softie for pets.

☼ schlatt was quite the private man, not a very big fan of making things public on the internet. he knew how people could be. he wouldn’t want to expose you to that, at least not until he was sure you’d be okay with it and you’d been in a relationship for a while.

☾ didn’t mean he couldn’t leave a few subtle messages for his chat, though. maybe a pair of pink slippers on his floor or some jewellery. when chat would notice and spam, he’d smirk.

☼ “what, chat? th’re obviously mine.” he chuckled. gaslighting his twitch as much as he could. if you asked, he’d say it was an accident and he didn’t notice. he’s a good liar to everyone but you.

☾ after a while, he’d open the idea up to you. whether it be a stream, or a youtube video where he can blur your face. but he has one rule.

☼ wii games. he wants to bring back wii games.

☾ and of course since you’re both equally competitive fucks, it turns into a laughing, yelling and tackling match as you both play every wii game imaginable. spewing insults at each other when the other misses in wii tennis, bickering like an elderly couple, screaming and cheering in victory. him claiming he let you win.

☼ “if you win anythin’, that is.” he’d murmur with that dumb grin.

☾ which you reply to with a string of curses and insults

☼ he couldn’t imagine anything more hilarious. plus click bait.

☾ he brings you to chuckle week (RIP CHUCKLE FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS </3) and you all decide to play some of the board games that look like they’re collecting dust in the airBNB you all are staying in.

☼ scrabble? you and schlatt team, ted and tucker team, and you practically knock them off the fucking board. guess who? they’re cooked. uno? reverse. chess? checkmate. you’re winning every time, together for once, and giggling about it too.

☾ “connect 4!” schlatt bellowed, as you two won at yet another game. you sat at the dining table of the airbnb, sitting opposite each other in pairs playing another dusty game. “what the fuck? you two are cheating or some shit.” ted huffs and tucker shakes his head and laughs, with you and schlatt cuddled up with your manic grins and wins in every game under your belt.

☼ turns out putting two competitive (crazy, as tucker calls you) people on a team works.

☾ let’s just say no matter who you’re playing with, you two always win game night.

☼ schlatt will pretend that he doesn’t like whatever hobby you have, playfully rolling his eyes, but if you catch him marvelling at you doing said hobby? no you didn’t.

☾ he’ll let you drag him wherever, but not without complaints. he’ll hold your hand wherever, never let you pay whenever you go out.

☼ “that’s silly.” he’d argue, pushing your card away. “christ, woman. ’m gonna have to fuckin’ confiscate your card ‘n replace it with my own soon.”

☾ he’ll hold you whenever, especially if you like it. whether it be his arm around your shoulders, on your waist, or maybe even a hand in your back pocket

☼ especially in crowds, he’s got you close so you can get through it to where you need to go. he’d hate to lose you in a crowd, not a chance.

☾ he’d get drunk, you’d try and kiss him and he’d be like “fuck off. i have a loving girlfriend.”

☼ and you’d be like “j i’m ur girlfriend.”

☾ “oh! hi girlfriend :)” and then kisses you.

☼ tries to act tough but he’s such a big softie at heart.

☾ he also gets jealous if he catches anyone simply just glancing at you, big 6”4 boy just gives them a simple look

☼ “achlatt! that guy was literally just doing his job.” “don’t give a fuck, y’re my girlfriend. no need for him t’be so cheery to ya.” but he’d also be annoyed if they weren’t nice to you.

☾ sometimes, you’ll catch him cooking and singing to himself as he plays music on a speaker. some glen campbell, maybe arctic monkeys. but he gets embarrassed, despite literally having a christmas album and a real good voice.

☼ “i don’t sing, sugar.” schlatt would argue, food cooking and arms wrapped around your waist as you two gently swayed to the music playing in his kitchen.

☾ a lie that was, you called bullshit

☼ and you’d both sing to whatever was on the speaker, laughing and just holding each other close as you two danced properly. spinning you, dipping you. his hair messy, a look of admiration on his face. no matter how uncoordinated you two were, it was right in your eyes.

☾ same thing i said about ted goes, big broad tall man mmmmm

☼ gives the best cuddles

☾ got plushies in your room? he’ll buy you more, and have fake beef with them. rolling his eyes if you argue that they’re your children.

☼ deep down he knows he loves them

☾ and you

☼ mostly you

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

nsfw hcs ˚⟡˖ ࣪

☼ he’s such a sweetheart in bed

☾ bitey bitey man. he can’t sit still for long

☼ as long as you’re in the privacy of your own home, whatever you’re doing, bet that his lips will be finding your neck.

☾ “can’t help it. taste too good.” he’d complain if you’d whine, that stupid shit eating grin on his gorgeous face. his hands on your hips, and his mouth leaving pinks, purples and reds that he knew you’d have to cover up tomorrow for work.

☼ he’s whipped. absolutely fucking whipped. pussy whipped.

☾ he’d do anything you asked, especially if you were promising to let him fuck you the minute you got through the door of either of your houses.

☼ horny motherfucker.

☾ in terms of oral, he loves giving and receiving equally

☼ watching you tremble underneath him as he hooks your thighs onto his shoulders and messily eats your pussy, sucking on your clit like it’s his last meal and he’s a starving man. his hands squeezing said thighs as you writhe, eyes watching your every reaction. impossibly harder at your every noise.

☾ and then also, “i didn’t say hover, sweetheart, i said sit.” making you sit on his face, pulling your hips down with his arms tucked under your thighs. devouring you and your perfect fucking cunt.

☼ pulling away later, lips and chops covered in your cum. licking his lips. “light as a fuckin’ feather, baby. don’t know what’cha talkin about.” if you were to ask if you were too heavy.

☾ but then also

☼ running his fingers through your hair as he looked down at you, on your knees so prettily for him. soft groans and sighs coming from his lips, eyes lidded, as you sucked his cock and looked up at him with lust. watching you wrap your lips around it inbetween his legs. tracing your tongue along the veins. pulling your hair, but never too hard: god, he was absolutely feral.

☾ he’s definitely dominant, but he isn’t harsh. he couldn’t stand seeing you hurt. like i said, he’s a softie.

☼ prefers to be face to face, but i feel like he’d really like back shots. simply to grab at your ass, watch the curve of your back arch as he fucked you good. leaving bites along your back as well, leaning over and leaving some on your shoulder.

☾ classic missionary, or you on his lap, are also his favourites. but he’s open to try other things with you, most definitely.

☼ he loves his woman, he really does. and he’d do anything to make sure you’re happy, always give you good loving. he’d hate to ever leave you without.

☾ him getting tipsy makes him even more desperate to please. even more desperate for you. but even sober, he always is

☼ rutting his hips into you, a little drunk as you combed your fingers through his hair “mmm. mine, sweets. god.” he’d grunt, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck as he fucked you perfectly. “need y’so f’ckin bad.”

☾ you flash him during an argument? it’s over as quick as it started. you were right, obviously. he’s following you like a dumb puppy again.

☼ would definitely turn around your plushies during sex. and also lock out the cats.

☾ when you two would unlock the door and come back out to the cats whining, your legs a bit wobbly, or maybe even unable to walk on your own at all, he’d pat the cats and smirk.

☼ “sorry, little shits. y’r mom needed some lovin instead.” he’d coo as you playfully shove him. a chuckle coming from his lips.

☾ he’s a very touchy grabby guy, whether it be your tits, thighs, your ass. he loves it.

☼ he’d get needy, and make it clear. it would never take him long to tell you if he was feeling needy, or he’d show it simply by picking you up or being close to you. it wasn’t hard to tell, and you’d be fucking within minutes.

☾ and if you’re needy? god, he relishes in it. teasing you, maybe even leaving you on the edge of orgasm over and over until your eventually sweet release. depends on how cruel he’s feeling. or maybe touching you, but not enough, just enough to make your hips jerk but not enough to build up anything. he loved the sound of your whiny frustration.

☼ yeah. he wants you. so bad. all the time.

#one chance #PLEASE ONE CHANCE SCHLATT #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt smut #schlatt smut #schlatt x reader #schlatt x you #chuckle sandwich #chuckle sandwich x reader #smut #sleep deprived x reader #no use of y/n #fluff #rpf

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5sospenguinqueen · 11 months ago

Text

But I Love Him | Oscar Piastri x Reader

Summary: Oscar Piastri’s girlfriend is Danny Ric’s biggest fan. When Oscar announces he’s signing for McLaren, she’s not sure how to react.

Warnings: Fluff. Crack fic

Only a small one. Inspired by Nicole Piastri’s hilarious podcast appearance. Did I push back my scheduled posts in favour of this sudden smau? Yes

20233-2023 season

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

2021

mclaren just posted

liked by yn_ln, landonorris and others

mclaren what a race 🏆 an amazing drive from our honey badger

10,333 comments

landonorris great race, mate

yn_ln that’s my driver!

→ oscarpiastri love you too

→ yn_ln shush, daniel might see this and then think we’re dating

→ oscarpiastri we are dating

→ yn_ln you’re ruining my chances

markwebber skills

→ yn_ln lovely, wonderful, talented mark. fancy spoiling a girl and getting her danny ric merch?

→ oscarpiastri you don’t talk like that to me

→ yn_ln because i have to deal with you leaving your wet towels on the bed

→ yn_ln plus all your merch is alpine

→ user1 she's so real for that tho

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

2022

yn_ln welp, there go my chances of meeting danny ric if you’re not going to be an f1 driver

→ danielricciardo i’m sure we’ll both be in aus at the same time in the future ;)

→ yn_ln omg he talked to me. oscar, he talked to me!

→ oscarpiastri yup, i can see that

→ yn_ln why don’t you care?!

logansargeant that’s one way to break the news

→ yn_ln he’s so dramatic isn’t he

→ user2 why is oscar still with her? she’s so mean to him

→ user3 it's called banter. try it some time, babe

aussiegrit never a dull day with you

→ yn_ln at least you get to hear about this beforehand. the alpine announcement shook me

→ oscarpiastri um, it shook me too?

→ yn_ln do you need me to stroke your hair again?

→ aussiegrit @/yn_ln you're no better

nicolepiastri your girlfriend is distraught that you didn’t consult her before being a drama queen. i raised you better than this

→ yn_ln 🤍🤍

→ oscarpiastri beaten for #1 child by my own girlfriend

oscarpiastri just posted

liked by yn_ln, logansargeant and others

oscarpiastri it’s official

6,981 comments

yn_ln but i love daniel…

→ oscarpiastri i know. everyone does

→ yn_ln but i love him the most

→ oscarpiastri i know

→ user4 bit weird that you’re not congratulating him

fernandoalo_official amazing news. can’t wait to see you on track

user5 mclaren are so messy for using an alpine pic

user6 okay but hello mr piastri. i was not familiar with your game

→ user7 yn saw the vision when she fell for him years ago

→ yn_ln c’mon guys, he was cute before

→ oscarpiastri i’m still cute now!

→ yn_ln no, now you’re hot

→ oscarpiastri oh 🤭

→ landonorris fuck me, is this what i have to deal with now?

→ logansargeant yes

→ arthur_leclerc yes

→ frederikvestiofficial yes

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

2023

yn_ln just posted

liked by oscarpiastri, frederikvestiofficial and others

yn_ln hubby’s first f1 race weekend (but more importantly, i met THE daniel ricciardo. and he was wearing his best colours)

3,813 comments

oscarpiastri i thought this was going to be a really sweet post and then

→ landonorris i actually watched his smile fall

→ yn_ln he’s in love with you now. it’s your responsibility to brush his hair and promise him he’s special

→ oscarpiastri between you and my mother, i don’t think i’ll ever have a comfortable day on the internet

danielricciardo i took really nice photos with you, and you post this one?

→ yn_ln please don’t be mad at me. i cry easily

oscarpiastri it’s bad enough that the world knows daniel is your favourite driver. can you at least pretend mclaren is your favourite team?

→ yn_ln go papaya!

→ yn_ln love you, pookie

→ oscarpiastri love you too, sweetheart

→ user8 the fact that no matter how hard she bullies him, he can never NOT say i love you back

aussiegrit proud of our boy

→ yn_ln me too!

→ oscarpiastri say it to my face, you coward

→ user9 how is oscar so sweet and introverted in interviews but then we see him like this on his girlfriend’s insta

→ oscarpiastri she brings out the demon in me

danielricciardo just posted

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and others

danielricciardo stole my seat so i stole your girl tagged: oscarpiastri, yn_ln

4,303 comments

arthur_leclerc i bet he’s crying in his driver’s room

logansargeant i joked about stealing her once and he hit me with a wrench

frederikvestiofficial i made her laugh once and he bit me

landonorris @/mclaren are you seeing this? i think i want a new teammate

user10 pr are screaming

→ user11 they do anytime yn comments on things

oscarpiastri keep her

→ yn_ln oi!

→ yn_ln i mean… he did give you permission

→ logansargeant where was this treatment for us?

→ oscarpiastri i’m fed up of her now. i still had hope back then

maxverstappen1 i thought we were forever

→ yn_ln you can’t beat my devotion to him

→ maxverstappen1 no but i can beat your devotion to your boyfriend

→ yn_ln eh

oscarpiastri just posted

liked by arthur_leclerc, aussiegrit and others

oscarpiastri she loves me really

4,811 comments

yn_ln my whole 💕

→ oscarpiastri i love you lots

→ yn_ln you know you’re my favourite guy forever

landonorris can confirm that they are disgustingly in love around the paddock

→ yn_ln you’re just jealous because you keep trying to steal him

danielricciardo i was stood next to them once and she didn’t even glance at me because oscar was making her laugh

→ nicolepiastri he’s not even funny

→ yn_ln don’t say these things. you’ll ruin my reputation as danny ric stan #1

user12 he’s not beating the orange cat allegations

→ user13 not with all the comments over the years of her stroking his hair to make him feel better

logansargeant bro relax. no one’s going to take her from you

→ oscarpiastri daniel’s rejoined red bull. her favourite driver is back with her favourite team. i have to stake my claim

→ yn_ln when he gets possessive 😍

→ arthur_leclerc 🤮🤮

frederikvestiofficial i thought not being in f1 meant i could escape this. get it off my fyp

3K notes · View notes

hellfire--cult · 5 months ago

Text

Long Distance Bf!Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

wc: 17.7k

+18 reader is a gamer, talk about games, long distance, pining, sex toys, mentions of phone sex and video sex, established relationship, slight angst, reader being insecure, kissing, oral (f and m), rough, spit, dirty talking, p in v (unprotected), eddie being a sweetheart as well as a perv in a good way

Summary: You didn't plan it, but through a game lobby you met the person who would become your long distance boyfriend. The time came for him to visit you for the first time after five months of dating... and you are not going to hold back.

a/n: thank you to @ghost-proofbaby for proofreading and fixing so much shit, as well as @andvys cause these bitches betaread almost every filth i write. this was supposed to be a v-day fic, so happy belated valentine's day.

Please reblog, be kind.

NO MORE BUFFERING

“Eddie, what kind of internet do they have in Hawkins? You’re lagging like shit… again.”

“Don’t disrespect it–” Silence, a robotic voice coming in making you roll your eyes. “–It’s a small town–” and again. “–You know.”

“No, cause I didn’t hear half the shit you said.” He froze on the screen for a second before the call dropped. A second later, your phone started ringing, making you scoff with a smile, answering the video call.

“I am so tired of this shit, sweetheart.” You saw his mop of curls coming into view as he placed the phone standing straight on his desk. You saw he was shirtless as he put cream on his hair, one of your requests after seeing the dryness and open ends on them.

“I told you to call the company many times!”

“It’s not the company, Hawkins is shit.” You giggled at his outburst, feeling your cheeks flush the more you looked at the expanse of his chest. The arms covered in tattoos, and you could see the happy trail going down into his sweatpants, which were too low, and his bush started sticking out a bit. “You done checking me out?”

“You’re hot.” You heard him chuckle on the other side of the screen. Your lovely boyfriend just posed for the camera, pretending to be in a vogue magazine or something. You giggled as you felt your cheeks heat up. No matter how many months had passed, he would still make you feel giddy and nervous. Who would have thought that the stranger standing on the other side of the screen would become your long distance boyfriend?

You didn’t plan it, really. It just happened.

Since you were little you liked playing video games. You adored it. Unlike some of the girls and boys in your school who did sports and stuff, you preferred to stay home with your Playstation 1, then the second one, then the Wii, then your first computer to play on. You made friends along the years, but then those friends lost interest in video games.

Nowadays, you have a full on gamer setup built in a room of your apartment. You also had studied Video Game 3D blending and you have a very well-paying job at a game producer company. You were basically living the life you always wanted to have. Your friends didn’t mind that you were a hermit or a little introvert with yourself. They learned to love you that way, often just laying on the bed as you play games, just being there for company, and you greatly appreciated that.

The problem was, none of your friends played online, and you were sick and tired of going into teams with random people in Call of Duty, and you were also disgusted and fed up with the men that just insulted you in game just because you were a woman, even if your score was better than what they did. They just kept insulting you, reporting you, and you encountered maybe just one woman every night in the lapse of ten matches.

So, you opened your Discord app, where you can join community servers of fandoms, and you joined the Call of Duty official server. You wanted to build a team, or to join one where they would not judge you. Maybe you could find an all-girl team in there. Your mouse moved around, looking through the topic channels to find what you were looking for. Finally, there it was.

‘Team finder.’

You decided to give it a try and joined that channel, seeing the people messaging each other, some asking for teammates and revealing their status in the game. You were pretty high in rank, so you were trying to look for a team that had the same one or close. Suddenly, a user that went by ‘i wear weird al shirts’ sent a message.

‘Looking for just one more teammate. We are looking for either a diamond or crimson rank!’

Your heart beat a little bit rapidly as you replied to them, telling them you were crimson rank. You received a message request later, privately, and you saw it was that same username, introducing themselves as Dustin. You checked their profile card, seeing they went by he/him. You were very respectful with the online community’s pronouns, so you always made sure to get them right.

He told you that they have a server for the teammates only, but that they would like to test how they feel with your gaming ability first. You licked your lips a bit and hovered over your keyboard, wondering if you should tell him you are in fact a woman. But you don’t know the rest of the team, so there might be another girl in there.

You gave Dustin your username, immediately receiving an invite in game. You joined the crew. You entered a very silent lobby, the other five people inside but not talking. You assumed that they were talking to each other in that private discord. You now hovered on your hot key to push to talk in game, but you didn’t quite want them to know you were a woman yet. Finally, one talked.

“Hello! I’m Gareth!”

“You are just going to give out your name like that? Christ.” Three guys for now. So you got Dustin, Gareth, an annoyed person and you are left to know two more.

“Stop having a stick up your ass, Mike. I’m Jeff.” Another guy.

“I’m Eddie, the most handsome guy in here.” You saw the speaker icon at the top of their characters light up each time they talked.

“Shut up, Eddie. Let’s just play and see if this guy is any good.” This Mike dude was very irritable. Your eyebrow twitched when he called you ‘guy’. They thought you were a man.

“Hang on, maybe it’s a lady!” The character of the guy named Gareth lit up.

“As if.” Mike talked once more and your anger was slowly rising - you were committed to make this guy eat his fucking words. When you get angry in game, you get ten times better, and this stupid little man is gonna wish he got on your good side by the end of it.

“You ain’t going to present yourself, sugar?” The Eddie guy talked and you decided to type by now.

‘If by the end of the game you guys want me in your party, I will.’

“Fair enough.” He responded and you sighed in relief. They went silent, and you could only guess they were talking on the discord again to each other. They started the game.

You got first kill.

First headshot.

The guys were cheering you on. Even the Mike guy was going insane over you.

You ended up as Player of the game. You smiled in triumph as you laid back on your chair. The guys cheered for you in the lobby, and you received a message from Dustin, the invite to a server called, ‘Hellfire Club’. What an odd name. They played nice, and they were fun with their commentary, the problem was if they would accept you when they learned you are a woman. One way to find out.

You clicked on the link, accepting the invite. You saw them all connected to the voice chat, and you felt your belly turning with nerves. You licked your lips as you took a deep breath in, seeing the messages in the chat to join them. You pressed on the voice chat, their voices blasting in your ears, cheering for you.

“Look who it is! Our champion! Our savior!” Dustin yelled and you smiled, containing a laugh.

“May we ask for the name of our brilliant knight?” You saw Eddie’s icon light up at his voice. This was it.

“Lady.”

Silence. Radio fucking silence. This was the part where you get kicked out, wasn’t it? Or where they start bashing on you, or bully you, or assume you are cheating in the game.

“Holy fucking shit!” The guy Jeff exclaimed as they started laughing, Dustin’s icon lighting up then.

“Mike, you better fucking apologize cause she carried your sorry ass just now!” You rolled your eyes, not even thinking the guy would properly apologize but–

“I am so sorry, I am forever in your debt.” Your eyes widened and then you saw on your other monitor how, thanks to this match, Mike had ascended rank in game.

“Uh, no problem.” You didn’t want to make your voice cheery, or high pitched with emotion, just in case you would annoy these guys. Eddie talked again through chuckles.

“We have a goddess in our land, boys, we gotta behave.” You sat there, expectantly as you waited for everyone to settle down. Then Eddie, who you saw was the one who created the server to begin with, talked to you again. “Does the goddess have a name?”

You gave your name softly, and each guy greeted you properly. You were stunned at this change of scenery. These guys were chill with you, but you really do wonder–

“Aren’t you guys freaked out that a girl is playing with you?”

“Are you kidding? One of our members was a girl too, she kicked ass, the sister of a friend. She started school so she is not able to play with us as much as before!” Dustin explained and your mouth fell open at that. They didn’t care if you’re a girl. They just cared that you played nice.

“Ahem, sweetheart.” Your body straightened up at the pet name, not disliking it at all for some reason. “You wanna join Hellfire?”

Every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, you all played together for hours. Mostly were wins thanks to you and Eddie, then there were some losses, but not a single game was toxic. They raged sure, but you weren’t far behind.

“COCK SUCKING SLUT, YOU FUCKING CHEATING PIECE OF SHIT!” You yelled loudly, ready to throw your controller across the room because you knew you found someone using a bot to aim perfectly at the head.

The boys’ laughter resonated in your ear, and Gareth was always the one to try to calm you down. You were so happy to have found a group that liked you, that had fun with you, and honestly was super interactive. The boys shared their foods, purchases, even clothes they bought in the general chat of the server. They showed their pets as well, Eddie, you and Jeff being the only two who didn’t own any.

You confessed you’ve always wanted a rat, and while most of the guys disagreed, Eddie was on your side 100%. He found rats cute, and he knew that they are as intelligent as a seven month old puppy.

One night in particular, after a month of talking with them, they decided to have a drinking night with you. Even if they were close to each other in distance, they stayed in their homes so that you could join and not feel left out. You were so thankful for them, but that meant you would be on camera for the first time. You wondered what they imagined you looked like, and you wondered how they looked like as well. They never shared pictures in the chat, and you never shared yours. You assumed they just wanted to keep their privacy. They knew each other in real life, unlike you.

So you got yourself out of your hermit clothes, put on makeup, even did your hair a bit. You put on an oversized sweater and prepared your beer in front of your PC. You took a deep breath in as you fixed the camera at the top of your monitor and you looked at yourself in the preview before joining the voice chat. You could see everyone pinging you, hurrying you, and you finally clicked the button.

The boys cheered as you came on the screen. You saw how they clapped and whooped. Only one person was not saying anything and– Oh fuck…

You didn’t expect Eddie to look like that. You didn’t expect Eddie to look like your type. Oh, fuck. And he wasn’t talking. He wasn’t saying anything, why?

“Hey, Munson, you alright there?” Jeff asked with a snicker on his lips, which made Eddie finally snap out, his curls falling on his face. You didn’t know if it was because of the lighting or what, but his face turned slightly red.

“Yep, totally fine. I’m just bummed I have to give up my throne.” Your eyebrows met in the middle a bit, staring into his camera only.

“Your throne?”

“Prettiest from the group, duh.” At his words, Gareth whistled, Mike and Dustin laughing with a cringe, but you felt yourself flush all over. It’d been a while since you got complimented like that, but that was because you truly never went out. You can’t even remember when was the last time you had sex. Your dildo doesn’t count.

“I beg to differ.” You commented and that seemed to catch Eddie off guard, because he choked a bit with his saliva. Jeff laughed, wiggling his eyebrows at the camera.

“You guys want us to leave?” And was it evil for you to wish that? A bit. You chuckled and shook your head as you raised your can towards the camera.

“I thought this was a drinking night?”

After that camera call, it seemed the boys were keen to keep putting the cameras when in the voice chat. You did as well, taking them grocery shopping and to the pet store to look at rats, the only one aww’ing at them being Eddie. But there was one particular call where Jeff, Gareth and Eddie were together while Mike and Dustin were not online.

“Welcome to your first Corroded Coffin concert, sweetheart!” You were in awe as you saw them play, but Eddie– Eddie caught your eye. He had been catching your eye for a while, and after exchanging instagrams with everyone, that attraction only grew.

But what were you thinking? He lived in Indiana, you lived in Virginia. This was just attraction over a guy you’ll probably meet in a year if this online thing doesn’t fall apart. It’ll go away. It had to.

Yet there was one night, where Mike, Dustin, Eddie and you were playing together, Dustin and Mike telling you that they were heading to bed. You pouted a bit on camera, not really wanting to go to sleep, but you knew the gaming night was over. You said goodbye to Mike and Dustin, about to say goodnight to Eddie as well, but–

“I’m not tired, you wanna stay on call with me, sweetheart?”

One call turned to two, to three, to four, to times when you both pretended to be offline so you could call each other privately. You watched movies, talked about TV shows, about one another’s lives, likes and dislikes, and soon, your attraction turned into a crush. Your heart raced whenever you called him, whenever you woke up with good morning messages from him, and then you called each other every single day.

You shouldn’t have done this. You were now with a crush on a man who lived miles away from you. And maybe he didn’t even feel the same for you, just that he found a new friendship in you and maybe he just wanted a feminine touch in his life.

“This movie fucking sucked ass, Eddie.” You laughed as you rubbed your eyes, the credits of the movie you two watched together rolling up. You looked at his face as he laughed into his hands in shame.

“This is what I get for following Steve’s suggestion, for fucks sake.” ‘Drag me to hell’, supposedly a great scary movie. Sure, if you think a possessed talking goat is scary.

“Tell Steve that if I ever meet him, I’m tying him to a chair so he forcefully watches the ridiculous 6. That will cause him an aneurysm.” You heard him scoff, putting a hand to his chest in feigned offense.

“Take that back right now!” You could only giggle, shaking your head.

“No, I’m standing by what I said.”

“Take it back–”

“Make me.” Suddenly he went silent and your smile fell. Did you fuck it up? Did you go overboard with that?

“Do you want me to?” His voice was not playful, no… it was flirty… Oh, he was flirting with you. Eddie was flirting with you.

“Mmm, I don’t know. Depends on how you do it.” This time you heard him groan, your heart beating out of your chest as he leaned forward, his eyes fixed on the camera and the screen, probably looking at you.

“Okay, I think it’s time we cut to the chase, shouldn’t we, sweetheart?”

“What do you mean?”

“I enjoy being alone with you here, do you enjoy being alone with me?” You felt your body flushing all over, sweat appearing on your fingertips.

“I do… a lot.” And he nodded. You noticed how he nervously looked at the camera and then at the screen. He ran a hand through his hair before he spoke again.

“Darling… I know it’s fucking stupid, and– Kind of weird– but, fuck… I have never met a girl like you. In my entire fucking life. I mean– Who the fuck listens to the Sims 1 soundtrack on the daily?” Your eyes widened at that, gasping.

“I do! It’s very comforting!” He only chuckled, shaking his head.

“And something I never heard in my life… You’re weird.” His eyes were soft as he looked at you. You bit your bottom lip as you played with your fingers on your lap.

“Is that a good thing?”

“I really like you, sweetheart.”

And the words took a while to process in your brain. This guy that never got to touch you, or see your entire body, likes you. He just does. He likes you because of who you are, not exactly how you look. The cameras on were just a plus to make the calls even more personal, which only made your crush grow bigger.

A smile spread on your lips as you saw him covering his face with his hair, acting shy, peeking through it as if he were hiding. He was cute. Such a dork. And so handsome… and gentle. Caring. He bought you a plushie you wanted from Kingdom Hearts that you saved in your wishlist. You were surprised when you received it, not knowing if you accidentally bought it, but the note inside made your heart melt on the spot.

‘Happy birthday, my goddess.’

“I really like you too, Eddie.”

So no, you didn’t plan it. You didn’t plan to date someone online for five months. You presented him to your friends and even if a little weirded out, they really didn’t expect something else coming from you. They were happy you found someone, even if not in the practical way.

The boys already knew. They had confessed to you, embarrassing Eddie in the process, that he never stopped talking about you. He praised you whenever he could, reminding everyone you were a lady and beautiful and that you had to be respected.

But in a relationship come needs. Eddie is handsome. He is… well, he is hot. You find him extremely attractive, inside and out. Your dildo could be named Eddie at this point from how many times you used it and called his name out loud, pretending your pink dildo was his cock.

So, in one bold movement, after a month of properly dating, you decided to do your first bold move. You sent him a suggestive picture of your cleavage.

‘Should I wear this top for Heather's party?’

It had taken him a moment to reply to you, making you wonder if he was busy or if he was just staring at your picture. You started second guessing yourself, wondering, again, if you had gone too far, only for your phone to ping.

‘Sweetheart, do you want me to die?’

‘Why? I’m just asking a simple question…🥺’

‘Can you send more pictures? Or a video works best, I need to do a thorough inspection to give a verdict.’

And the sexting part began. Then the pictures were no longer suggestive, just plain nude. He started that one after you sent a picture of yourself in your lacey underwear and bunny ears in front of your full-length mirror.

‘I’m so fucking hard right now, darling, you have no fucking idea.’ He sent this message with a blurred picture attached. You knew what it could be but– You were not prepared. You were not prepared for what you saw. Not only was it big. Not only it was curved. But Eddie had a tattoo along the shaft. He had Sindarin markings on the underside.

It made you wet in an instant.

Sexting turned into phone sex with video calls. He saw you, you saw him. He saw you fucking yourself in your dildo as you moaned his name, and you saw him fuck his hand to yours. It was daily, if not every two days. You had never done this before, but fuck if it wasn’t hot. Hot, yet not enough.

Which brings you to five months into the relationship, and the present day.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He called out as you hummed, still looking at his body as if you were daydreaming. He laughed, leaning over to look into the phone camera. “Stop drooling over me, for just a second.”

“No way, not possible, live with it.” He shook his head at you, his smile faltering slightly with nerves and you tilted your head in wonder as you felt your stomach flip with nervousness. “What’s wrong–”

“Nothing is wrong. I promise! But uhm… well… With the new job, I managed to… kind of save up.”

“For what?”

“Visiting you.”

Your brain short-circuited. You had explained to Eddie that you couldn’t visit him for a while, not until your video game project was done with, and your work days were never set. You couldn’t take your PC with you, so you had to stay home.

“What?”

“I– Tell me to fuck off if you’re not comfortable, I just– I really want to see you. There’s… a flight on… Valentine’s day.”

You felt yourself melt in your seat as you heard his words. He wanted to meet you for the first time and not on just any day. Valentine’s day. You knew Eddie had been struggling with finding a good paying job a few months back, finally landing a good one as a mechanic in his town.

“You… You got a new job and instead of saving up for the new guitar–”

“I saved up to finally meet you, yes– but if you tell me you’re not ready, I’ll go and just buy–”

“Yes… please…” And you two stared at one another for a few seconds, your heart beating wildly in your throat as he stood there.

“I– Yes?”

“Yes, I want you to come here, Eddie.”

You saw him walk backwards cheering with his fists in the air, and you smiled as he jumped excitedly, his hair bouncing all around him. You saw his uncle Wayne opening the door to see what Eddie was doing, and you couldn’t help but snort as Eddie stopped and pointed at his phone.

“I’m meeting my girlfriend!”

“Okay? Uh–” Wayne looked at you and nodded in greeting, “Hi sweetheart.”

“Hi, Wayne.” His uncle didn’t live with Eddie, but he came to visit often and even stayed for a day or two at his home. At Eddie’s request. It seemed Eddie wanted independence, but he was too attached to Wayne. He had explained to you about his past, about his family, and it was completely understandable that he couldn’t let Wayne go that easily.

“Keep it down, I’m excited for you two, but your neighbors will complain again.” And like that, he closed the door. The nerves invaded you once again and you saw Eddie rushing to grab the phone and taking you as he sat on the computer. You saw him typing away, and you knew he was looking to book that flight right away.

You saw the concentration in his scrunched-up features, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth as he squinted at the screen, clicking away. Excitement built in your belly as you looked at him. As you looked at a guy that just lived far away, yet you’ve never felt more connected to in your entire life.

A guy you fell in love with, despite the recent connectivity issues.

“BOOKED!” He yelled excitedly and you giggled, covering your mouth as you thrashed around, finally realizing you would meet him. You would meet Eddie. You would meet your boyfriend for the very first time, and on Valentine’s day to top it off. That would be a month away, and you could tell your work to give you a breather the week he stays with you, to not bother you as much.

You were excited… but nervous as fuck.

What if he doesn’t like you? What if he sees you and is disgusted? Should you kiss him as a greeting? Were the flowers in your hand too stupid to give to him? He said he liked them, so you got him some because men also deserve flowers on Valentine's day. You were standing at the Arrivals gate, just where Eddie had told you he would get off on.

You had prepared your home from top to bottom, cleaned it all up, and you even went to get a Bikini Wax with Heather. You exfoliated your skin, put on some lotion, and you were going a little bit crazy with it– But, was today the day? Not only were you going to meet him, but should it also be the time where you could confess to him?

You didn’t know if it was too soon or not, being the first time you ever fell in love for real in your life. You were pretty sure it was love. How could it not be? Eddie had not answered you for a whole day once, and you could not get in contact with him at all. His location was also off. Your first thought was very dark, afraid he had gotten into an accident with his motorcycle or something. You had called Gareth and you demanded him to go take you to Eddie.

You made him go to Eddie’s house while on a video call with you, and when he arrived and knocked on the door, Wayne had answered. Eddie had caught Mono. You were relieved yet the stress didn’t leave you at all. Wayne showed you Eddie’s state on video, and you saw him breathing at least, with a warm towel on his forehead and all.

When he started messaging you back, you told him you were relieved but you had asked Wayne for his own phone number just in case. You remember Eddie being touched by how much you cared, and the fact that Wayne trusted you enough to give him his personal information just for the sake of knowing Eddie was okay.

You were clearly in love, and gone. You were holding flowers, balloons in the shape of bats and hearts. You looked silly, but you noticed some people looking at you with smiles on their faces, knowing you were most likely hopelessly in love waiting for your partner. They were absolutely right.

Suddenly, the doors opened and you held your breath in as people started walking out. You saw a family getting back together, then an old lady and a man who brought her flowers, kids greeting their mother. You were nervously waiting and– did you get the gate wrong? Maybe you did? Should you check your phone to make sure? That is nonsense, you checked like forty times, but maybe you looked at it wrongly–

And then, you saw him, dressed all in black, guitar strapped to his back, his hair pulled up in a bun, his left hand dragging the carry on. His other hand? It was holding a rat plushie with cotton flowers in its hands. You felt your eyes burning as you saw him looking around, your heart literally about to jump out of your chest and your stomach twisting with vines of nerves. This would be it. You did small little jumps with your feet, rising your heels and then putting them back down, over and over again and–

His eyes finally clashed into yours. His face lit up instantly, a smile spreading from ear to ear, his dimples showing off completely. He was so beautiful in real life and you just felt complete. You felt so giddy, something you never thought you would feel for someone else, at least not in the way you met that someone.

You bounced on your feet excitedly, smiling widely at him. His face, still smiling, made a confused frown as he looked around at what you got him. His feet started working, rushing your way as you waited by the limit. You were finally going to hold him. You were finally going to feel his warmth and spend time with him and–

You heard a huge thud of something falling and then big arms closed around you. Your arms wrapped around him, trying to not let go of his gifts but you felt like crying from how happy you felt. How whole you suddenly became. To be able to hug the person you have been talking to for months, that you have shown the most intimate parts of yourself.

His face was deep in the crook of your neck and shoulder, and you realized he had thrown the carry on to the ground as well as the plushie he got you. It was okay. You didn’t care. You felt his hands all over your back as if he was holding something so precious that he was afraid it would fall apart if he let go. And maybe, it would. Now you don’t know how you will be able to keep going with your daily life once he is gone. How you’ll keep going without his hugs, kisses and–

You flushed all over as your thoughts became impure, in just one single instant. Oh, he smelled good. He smelled so fucking good. You were in such bliss, you didn’t want to let go, but you knew you had to. You felt him pulling away for a second, his eyes meeting yours and you held your breath tightly as you waited for him to kiss you. He was going to, wasn’t he?

“Are these for me?” He suddenly asked and you were so stunned, looking down to your hands and you smiled widely, giving the flowers to him, as well as the balloons. He chuckled as the smile never left his lips. You saw a hint of a blush on his cheeks as he looked at them. “I never received flowers in my life– Valentine’s day gifts at that.”

“Me neither.” He smiled at you, putting all the gifts in one hand so he could bend down and pick up the plushie that had those cotton flowers in the middle. You squealed loudly as you grabbed it, inspecting it. Suddenly you caught on a scent, making you lean forward and smell it, and– It’s him. It’s his cologne.

“Sprayed it myself. I may have put a cloth inside and stitched him up again for longer effects.” Your heart was in your throat as you felt overwhelmed with emotions. You hugged the rat tightly to your chest as Eddie stared down at you with a smile on his face.

“Thank you…” Your voice was small and muffled into the plushie. You looked up at him with bright eyes, hopeful he would lean in, and you needed to kiss him. You wanted to kiss him. But–

“Should we go? I am in terrible need of a cigarette, sweetheart.” You giggled, nodding as he bent down to grab his carry on again with his free hand, and you two walked side by side. The people all around you looked weirdly your way but still kind of adoringly. It was a metalhead guy with flowers and balloons in his hand, of course they would look.

You two walked through the airport, smiling like idiots. You wished you could hold his hand but he was not able to right now. You were wondering why he didn’t kiss you, and maybe you should? Maybe you should kiss him when you reach your car and he puts the things in the trunk.

He talked to you about how Wayne made him share his location at all times, the old man worried his nephew was travelling to another state by himself even if where he went, he was not going to be alone at all. You took your free hand to message Wayne, sending him a selfie with you and Eddie, signaling that he arrived safely because Eddie could not grab his phone right now. Wayne sent you a simple ‘take care now, use protection.’

That message made you flush all over, knowing that it was something that was going to happen no matter what. Absolutely. Wasn’t it? You wanted it to happen but– What if Eddie didn’t want to? What if he just came here to spend time with you but not to engage in something intimate? Were you looking too much into it? You literally had video sex with each other, so it not happening would be… weird… wouldn’t it?

But maybe… he doesn’t want to after seeing you? Maybe that’s why he didn’t kiss you?

Your self doubt was starting to slowly eat you alive as you reached the car where you parked. He put his carry on inside the trunk and the balloons as well because they would just not let you see on the rearview mirror, plus you might be stopped thanks to them. You bit your lip once you heard the trunk slam shut, Eddie turning your way with a smile on his face.

“So, ready to take me to your castle, my lady?” You giggled as you nodded, ready to take a step forward in order to be able to tippy toe and signal him you wanted a kiss, but he immediately rushed to the passenger’s side after putting the guitar into the backseat, making you frown slightly.

You went into the driver’s seat, putting the plushie to sit in the backseat so you could drive while Eddie held his flowers on his lap. He was surprised you had gotten him roses, and he couldn’t stop lavishing over them. As you drove, you put music for each other, and he was babbling away about how the guys wanted to have a call with the two of you together on camera.

“Oh, that’s kinky.” Was your comment and you noticed Eddie nervously chuckling and– Was he nervous? Shit, were you too forward? You didn’t take into account he was as nervous as you. Maybe that’s why he is not making any moves? Not even holding your thigh?

Fuck, you wanted to jump on him and you had to calm down.

Once you got into your small complex, he was in awe when he entered your apartment. It was big for just one person, and he knew your apartment by now. You had given him a tour but it seems that showing him through video it may have looked a bit smaller than what he had expected. He put the carry on at the entrance as well as the balloons.

“We should put these in water, I don’t want them to go bad.” He commented, still holding onto the flowers which warmed your heart. You guided him into the kitchen, grabbing a vase and filling it with water, letting him put the flowers in it. Your plushie was left on the dining table so now, your hands were free as well as his. It was already night time, and you just wanted to hold him right now, needing to feel him in your arms again and–

“Did you have dinner yet?” You asked, wanting to cringe at yourself. The air was a little tense, and your self doubt and nervousness was making you feel a little awkward. Maybe it’s not what he expected?

“I didn’t actually, and as far as I remember sweetheart, you told me there was a pizza place here that was fucking delicious.”

“Pete’s. And it will be the best pizza you ever had.” You smiled up at him, swaying a little as you put your hand on the counter. You saw him breathing a bit heavily, nervously, and he cleared his throat.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He smiled and you realized he was not going to make a move at all. You don’t want to hover over him, or read the signs wrong. Fuck. You were becoming restless, even more when you sent a message to the pizza place so you could order and for them to deliver it to your house.

Meanwhile, Eddie was walking around your apartment, gushing over all the consoles you had. He knew you had them but it was still amazing to him to see them there. He explained to you how he could only afford the Playstation 2 when he made money out of selling weed at his school. You could only smile through your nerves as you both waited for the pizza, sitting on the couch… rather apart.

Why was he far away? Did he not want to hold you in the same way you wanted to hold him? It was Valentine’s day and he was sitting on the far end of the couch, and you have waited for months for this moment. Should you really take the initiative here? Were you giving wrong signals? No, you’re pretty sure you aren’t. You have batted your eyelashes, you have brushed your fingers against his when handing him the can of beer, your eyes went to his lips many times and he either was not seeing it or– he was playing dumb.

Dark clouds invaded your mind as you went to the bathroom, messaging Heather immediately.

‘He is not doing anything.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘He hasn’t even tried to kiss me yet, and the pizza is about to arrive, and all we did was talk, which is nice, but we’ve been doing that for five fucking months.’

‘Okay, maybe you should kiss him? Or just talk to him?’

‘What if he doesn’t…?’ You felt like your heart was about to burst as you thought of that possibility. What if you weren’t what Eddie expected in real life? What if it became way too real for him that he was now regretting ever coming to your house? What if he regretted breaking the illusion that he had of just looking at the screen?

‘I’m sure there’s an explanation… talk to him, don’t be a fucking idiot.’

You heard the doorbell ring and you flushed the toilet, pretending you went in there to just do your business. You walked out to see Eddie looking at the intercom with a frown in his face, seeing the pizza guy on the camera.

“How the fuck do I talk to him?” You laughed as you walked towards it, standing next to Eddie, pressing the button to talk.

“Hi Pete, come on up.”

“Thank you, honey!” The old man said as you pushed the open front gate button. Eddie’s eyebrows raised in awe at it and then he frowned.

“Wait, Pete?”

“Yeah, the owner!” You smiled at him as you walked to your door, standing on your tippy toes to look through the peephole, your hips swaying excitedly as your mouth watered. You felt eyes on you, but maybe you were just making it up in your mind so that the horrible thoughts would go away from you. You saw Pete coming over and you immediately opened the door, a smile on your face.

“Hello lovely.” He greeted you and you grabbed the pizza from his hands, handing him the money and the large tip you always give him. “You know you always give me too much.”

“No, I don’t. Don’t know what you’re talking about.” The man rolled his eyes and then he saw Eddie standing behind you, waving at him.

“Oh, what a lucky guy you are!” You felt your cheeks burn up as you giggled nervously.

“That I am, Pete!” You heard Eddie say and that just made you feel even more confused than before. The old man smiled, tipping his head down once and gave you both a nod.

“Well, I better leave you two alone. Happy Valentine's!” With that, Pete turned and left, letting you close the door and lock it. He could get out of the gate with a button he could press from the inside, so you didn’t have to bother with that one. The smell of pizza filled your nostrils and you moaned in delight as you walked towards the couch.

“This smells so fucking good.” You sat down, looking back to see Eddie just blinking, staring at nothing. “Eddie?”

“Oh–” He snapped out with a shake of his head, his curls bouncing around. “Yeah, yeah, it does.”

He rushed to sit next to you, and you turned on the TV to at least put something as background noise. You decided to put ‘The Office’ which Eddie and you had binge watched together, having never seen it before. When you opened the box, you saw that Pete had followed your instructions, a smirk appearing in your face. Eddie’s eyes widened, a laugh escaping his lips.

“Oh my god.” He saw the pizza in the shape of a heart, and you giggled at how amazed he looked staring down at it. “How am I supposed to cut into this masterpiece? There’s absolutely no way.”

“Well, we do have to eat.” And that you both did. You dove in, the voices of the show in the background as he gushed over the pizza, and he had to agree with you that it was in fact the best he’s ever had. He told you that the pizzas back in Hawkins will now taste like cardboard compared to this masterpiece.

“Tell Pete he is a god. Like a literal god because, holy fuck.” You heard him groan in delight as he licked his fingers, wiping his hands with a napkin as he collapsed on the backrest of the couch, his eyes closed as if he were full. He only ate two slices, and Eddie was used to eating at least four. You once saw him eat a full sized pizza, claiming he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch.

“I’ll tell him.” You didn’t want to sound tense or irritated, but you were so happy to have him here and now you didn’t know if you were being selfish for wanting something more to happen, or if you were sad because nothing was happening at all, or if you were anxious and fearful of the possibility that Eddie did not like you in person, as much as he liked you online.

You grabbed the remaining pizza with the box, surprised still that there are slices left. You also didn’t eat much thanks to the nerves, something your stomach would yell at you later at night, but for now, you were afraid of puking it all out. You stood up and walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge to place the entire box in there, not wanting to deal with putting it away in tupperwares to save space.

What should you do now? Should you follow Heather’s advice and talk to him? But what if you make everything become a little more tense than what it already was now? You didn’t know what to do, and Eddie was not helping your case at all. You sighed as you washed your hands in the sink, letting the grease be washed away. You dried your hands with the kitchen cloth before walking out, seeing that Eddie was no longer on the couch.

You frowned, completely confused, until you heard the water of the sink in the bathroom. You grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, walking towards your room, where your whole setup was as well. The bed was completely pressed into a corner, your LED lights in a perfect purple hue, fairy lights in the shape of stars were lit up across the wall, holding pictures of your friends, your family, the boys back in Hawkins and Eddie. There were a lot of Eddie.

The door of the bathroom opened, and you turned to see Eddie walking towards your room, his eyes widening at the color of the room and then the yellow from the fairy lights, as if it were a purple sky with stars. He walked further in, looking at your entire PC, whistling out loud. You could only stare at his back, dressed in all black, completely contrasting with your room.

“Damn, look at this… The pictures don’t do it justice.” Your setup was big. You had three monitors, and a very well updated PC. You needed your computer to be able to have a very fast response time because of your work. Video game 3D blending required a lot from your PC so you always kept it up to date.

“It was an investment when I started my studies, but I gave my mom her money back in the first three months of my job, even if it was three years later.” You explained and he nodded, looking all around your room, for his eyes to then fall on your bed and then the pictures above it, attached to the fairy lights.

You looked at his profile as he inspected them, and your heart was bursting with need, lava from a volcano just exploding right inside it. You couldn’t hold it in. The guy in your pictures was no longer far away from you. He was no longer miles and miles away, where you could not touch him. He was in your room. He was here with you. He was standing in front of you.

“Didn’t know you hung these up…”

And you exploded.

“Why?”

His head turned to look at you, a frown appearing in his face as you stared at him. His face softened when he saw how you were looking at him. Your face was showing him distress, confusion, nervousness, and a bunch of questions that were at the tip of your tongue.

“Why what?” He asked, a nervous smile appearing on his lips and– Now you definitely know something was wrong. You could absolutely see it. You stepped forward and you saw how he stiffened in place. You didn’t know what was going on, but at least he didn’t move away from you because you were able to finally step close to him. Your head tipped back so you could properly look up at him.

“Why don’t you do something?” You saw his gulp, how his eyebrow twitched and his smile fell, and you could feel your entire inside crumble apart. Was he going to tell you now that you weren’t what he had expected? That it became way too real for him that he could barely handle it?

“Darling…”

“Am I not– You don’t like me? I– Am I not what you expected?” Your voice was small, and broken, your eyes burning with incoming tears, and his own widened, desperately reaching out for you to hold your biceps tightly, pulling himself closer to you.

“Don’t you ever think that. Not for a single damn second.” His voice was honest, rough with emotion, so now you were confused as he clenched his jaw. “You are way more than I– Than I fucking deserve to have. I have no idea how the fuck I even bagged someone like you.”

“But– But I don’t understand… You haven’t even tried to kiss me, or hold my hand… You sat so far away from me–” He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath in. You blinked for a few seconds, and… did he lie to you? “Eddie… are you… a virgin?”

“WHAT?” His voice was loud, and it startled you, making you jump in your spot. His eyes pierced your skull almost in a glare, only to then soften as a sigh escaped his lips. “For fucks sake, I am not.”

“Then I honestly don’t get it now.” You were angry. You started becoming irritable, annoyed, and you wanted answers. He took a deep breath in, leaning down to press his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. His cologne made you calm down instantly, your heart skipping a beat from having him so close to you again. The closest he’s been with you today was the hug you received when seeing each other for the first time.

“I… I won’t be able to hold back.”

You blinked completely confused a few times, looking into his eyes for answers.

“What? What do you mean by that?” He sighed as his hands moved, sending chills down your entire body. They grabbed your waist, giving it a squeeze as he found his voice again.

“I didn’t want you to think I was meeting you right now just to wet my dick… I don’t want you to think that I came to visit you just for that…”

Now you… you were enraged.

“Are you a fucking idiot, Edward?” His eyes widened as he pulled his head back to look at your face. It was all tensed up with anger, eyes staring into his with a glare.

“I– Uh… what?”

“You made me fucking doubt myself all day, thinking I wasn’t what you expected! Or that– Or that this was way too fucking real and you became scared and you regretted coming here–” Your eyes started burning once again and you hated yourself for always tearing up when you started an argument. You always felt that stupid lump in your throat, even when you were angry, you got emotional. His eyes were wide, his head shaking from side to side like crazy.

“No, no, no! I’m so sorry I made you feel like that but… it wasn’t. No… It’s– The complete opposite of that.” The room started losing that tensed up air that was filled with anger and misunderstandings, your eyes now softening as you looked at him. His face looked flushed, his eyes were now a bit dilated, looking down at you with a different gaze, one you saw many times on video call when you changed in front of him.

“Then?”

“If I kiss you… I won’t be able to hold back… That’s why I haven’t done it all day. I would have, probably, broken a million laws.” You bit your lip as you looked up at him, your body rising in temperature the more you stared up at him and he looked down at you with that hunger in his eyes you knew too well.

“Eddie… I waited for this for months… I want it too…” Your arms went up to wrap around his shoulders, nerves turning your stomach inside out but they were good nerves. They were amazing nerves. His breath hitched only to then quicken, his hands squeezing your waist once again. “And I don’t want you to hold back.”

That seemed to be his green light. What seemed to be the last string holding him to rationality, and it was literally snapped by you. His lips immediately clashed into yours, sparks flying all around you as electricity ran all over your body. Goosebumps formed on your skin and you sighed happily into the kiss. It was soft, deep, but still not moving.

He groaned into it and slowly pulled away with a smack, his breath hitting your lips, his eyes still closed. You felt his hands moving, wrapping himself around you, pulling you even closer. He pressed your body against his and you wanted to already moan with how warm he felt. You felt his lips peck yours again, and then pull away.

“Oh, fuck…” Then another peck, your bodies moving. “Fuck, sweetheart–” You didn’t know why he was cursing, yet he gave another peck, a longer one. “I’m done for.” And then one more kiss, “I’m so fucking done for.”

You finally felt your bed hit the back of your knees as his lips started moving against yours in a desperate manner. Nobody had ever kissed you like this. You’ve never felt as desired as you’re feeling right now. His hand went downwards to grab the back of your right thigh and pull it up, pressing it against his hip. His left knee then hit the bed, his other hand grabbing your other leg, and helping you up on the bed as he crawled into the middle of it with you.

Your lips never separated, not for a single moment. You were chained to him, not wanting to let go at any second, feeling like it’s a lost one if you did. Your back was pressed into the mattress, as your head clashed against your pillow. You could barely breathe as his hands left your legs after he slotted himself right in between them.

Your choice of clothes was now a pain to you. You should have put on something easier to take off, but you had chosen fucking pants. It was cold out, but it would have made this moment easier. His elbows came to rest against the mattress, one on each side of your head.

His hips still did not press against yours and you were becoming a little needy, desperate. So, you raised your hips upwards and rubbed yourself on him, making him wince against the kiss, pulling away to look down in between your bodies. You felt the bulge, the big bulge you’ve always looked at and desired to have in your hands, in your mouth and inside. He groaned as his eyes turned to yours again.

No words were exchanged as your hips were suddenly slammed into the bed again, a moan escaping your lips. He thrusted himself into you, giving you the wish of rubbing his hips against you. You sighed as your hands rubbed the back of his head, making you feel a little dizzy already. His lips immediately clashed with yours again, and you felt his hands all over you, just exploring all over your waist, hips, arms as his hips rubbed and rubbed and rubbed.

You moaned into the kiss, your body shivering when you felt the tip of his tongue entering your mouth, not even asking for permission and it wasn’t like he needed it. He didn’t. He could do whatever he wanted to you tonight. You were going to do whatever you wanted too. You both knew your likes and dislikes, what is okay and what is not. There was no need for questions or permissions.

He groaned into the kiss as you felt him twitch in his pants and against you. You clenched around nothing at all, and you wondered if you could cum by just him rubbing himself against you, because it felt like it. Your belly was burning. You were hoping you would not be able to walk after tonight, or after this entire week.

Your breathing turned heavy, your hands grabbing at his denim jacket, pulling onto it by the shoulders, and he got the message. He pulled away for a second, ripping the jacket away from himself, only to desperately drop himself back on you, kissing you hungrily once more. The clothes felt constricting now and the heat all over your body was making it feel worse. His tongue was just abusing yours in the most delicious of ways.

Eddie knew how to kiss.

Eddie kept his movements on you, up and down, circling and then some dry humping against you that was making you see stars behind your eyelids. He was driving you insane, and your thong, the red lace set you wore today, a set you bought a few days ago with this exact intention, was becoming a wet sticky mess because of this.

You wondered if you were soaking through your pants now, maybe getting the front of his wet and damp too. He was rubbing against your clit in meditated rolls, hearing where you moaned the loudest. He was paying attention to every single detail and reaction he got from you, now learning your body in person and not through a screen. It was like the practical part of an exam, the oral part having passed flawlessly.

Your hips moved with his as his right hand landed on your breast, making your back arch against him with need. You whined into the kiss, and he pulled away from you, a gasp being let out by you. You were so sensitive. The emotions were making your entire body react to the simplest of his touches.

“You are so fucking perfect.” Your mouth dropped open when his lips connected to the pulse point of your neck. His hand was still kneading your breast over your hoodie, those you loved to wear. Oversized and comfy, but right now, it was something you wanted to rip off of you as if it were burning your fucking skin.

“Eddie… Baby, I need to take it off–” He nodded desperately against you, but before leaving your neck, he gave a soft nibble with his teeth, making you whimper. He kneeled as you sat up, and before you could grab the hem of your hoodie, his hands were almost ripping it off from your body. He pulled it off of you in an instant, leaving you in just your tank top. You saw him lick his lips, and you wanted more, you needed more. Your hands instantly went to the hem of his shirt and he helped you, gladly, to take it off.

Your mouth watered as you saw the chest you’ve only been seeing through a screen for months, finally being able to touch it, kiss it and– Your tongue darted out, licking his chest in an upwards motion, your eyes closed. He threw his head back, shoving the shirt to the abyss, he didn’t care. Your hands scanned his sides, fingertips gliding against the skin, feeling him tense up and his chest hitch when your lips gave a kiss to it.

He growled, cradling your cheeks in his hands, making you look up at him in a quick and rough motion you didn’t dislike, but it made you stop your kisses and kitten licks against his chest, over his tattoos. His lips crashed against yours again, deep and desperate only to then be pushed back down on the bed. He was towering over you, chest moving up and down rapidly, his eyes looking down at the button of your jeans. You gulped as you moved your hips to signal him he could move.

So he did. His hands instantly rushed to rip the button open and pull the fly down. Your nerves started coming back as he crawled backwards and he started tugging at your jeans, pulling them down and off your body desperately. Off they went, including your socks and then you felt your legs wanting to close but– You had prepared yourself for this. You should let him look, so you kept them spread. Once his eyes turned to look at you again, they were instantly glued to the red lace covering the wet heaven he had wanted to touch and taste for so long.

“Oh, and it’s all for me, isn’t it sweetheart?” His voice was deep, rough and sultry and it was as if he wasn’t really asking you, but more like he was reassuring himself in fact like he said. And it was.

“Mhm~ All of it, Eds…” Your voice small, pretending shyness, that shyness that drove him insane. You heard a growl coming from him, his clouded eyes still staring down at your moving hips, waiting for him to do something. You clenched around nothing when he roughly grabbed the back of your knees and pulled them apart even more, and away.

“Let me taste this pussy that’s been driving me crazy for fucking months.” Your breathing hitched at the possessiveness he was talking with. His hands moved and his arms hugged your thighs as his body lowered, his stomach pressing against the mattress as his face came to stare at your throbbing slit, and he could see how wet the lace was. How drenched and dark the fabric had gotten.

You couldn’t even process his words that your mouth was falling in a silent ‘o’, his mouth latching on the thong like a leech. Sucking and licking on it and if it felt good like this, how would you feel when he uncovers it? Your hands gripped the sheets beneath you as he kept licking pointedly into where your slit was, digging the fabric into it a bit.

Then he rode the tongue upwards, the pointy licks now against your clit, making you moan, letting the breath out of your lungs. Your body started feeling the heat travelling all over, and you should have touched yourself or something before he came over because you’re pretty sure you’re going to cum any second.

He pulled away, his fingers grabbing onto the elastic of your thong, and he kneeled up to pull them down your legs. You helped him do just that and he smirked when he saw the little string of your wetness disconnecting from your center. That’s how wet you were. His jaw clenched when he finally got the thong off, but this one, he made sure to see where it landed, planning on taking it back with him. Probably frame it.

Your legs now did close while his head was turned, your knees together and leaning your way. You felt a little more exposed now, you couldn’t help it. It’s been a while since you had sex in general, this would happen no matter what. The shyness, the embarrassment. But when Eddie turned his head back around, he shook his head, glaring down at you.

“I’m having none of that.” His hands roughly grabbed onto your knees and he spread them apart, your center opening up for him, and you just flushed all over, feeling embarrassed but more aroused than ever. He was a starved man, no, animal. He was staring down at it as if it were the answer to all of his prayers. His body moved downwards, in the same position he was before, but this time, his hands gripped your inner thighs, keeping your legs spread.

He was going to make sure to taste you completely.

His tongue darted out, finally pressing it against you, making you jerk upwards, completely taken aback by how good it felt and it was a simple press of the tongue. You were done for tonight. He hummed and moaned as he tasted you, and then–

“Fuck– Oh– Fuck!” Your voice was loud, your breathing loud as in one single moment Eddie was just looking at you after tasting you, and the next his mouth and tongue were everywhere. He sucked on your clit, kissed it, the tip of his tongue doing stripes in your center, up and down, teasing you about entering it.

He was all over you, his fingers digging into your flesh, not caring if he leaves a mark, and if he does, good. Your head was thrown back into the pillow as he flicked his tongue back and forth on your clit, your hands flying to grab onto his head. He was still moaning, hips rutting into the mattress just by eating you out. You were absolutely delicious and he probably won’t get enough of you at all.

“Better than what I imagined. So fucking sweet.” He hummed into you, and you felt your body start trembling, the pleasure making up a fog in your mind you hadn’t felt in so long. Suddenly, your eyes widened, feeling his tongue going inside, his nose hitting your clit as he made nodding moves with his head and his tongue moved around inside of you.

“Eddie– Eddie, baby, oh my god–” Your breathing was heavy, moaning his name out as if it were a god, and to you, he was one right now. Your belly clenched and burned and you could feel your climax creeping in by the minute. Eddie was happy to keep ravishing you, to keep tasting you, to keep making you fall apart.

You felt one of his hands leave your inner thigh as well as his mouth, letting the air hit you and then a sharp breath, making your wetness become cold, a whimper ripping out of your throat. He chuckled as he saw your hips jerk from the air he blew, and then you tensed up when you felt his finger running through your slit to coat it with your juices. And then he entered. You wished he hadn’t taken his rings off to eat that pizza. You wanted those inside of you, he wanted them inside of you. He had told you as such.

His mouth bit the inside of your inner thigh as he kept moving his middle finger inside of you, feeling your warmth around him. Your back arched as he bit, and a moan ripped away from your throat. Your hands now gripped the pillow under your head, right by the edges. He started pumping his finger, in and out of you, and you were in bliss as you moaned his name in order to ground yourself in the moment.

So many fantasies in your head, of him touching you, of him moving on you, of his fingers entering you and making you see galaxies. You could only guess Eddie would be good with his fingers just by the fact that he played guitar. And, he was probing that fact right now and with just a single finger.

He sucked on your skin as his eyes kept looking at how his finger glistened whenever it was pulled out of you. His hips kept rubbing against your mattress, the creaking of it ringing in his ears just by you moving your hips against his hand. He growled as he got his ring finger inside as well, and he finally curled his fingers inside of you. Your eyes widened, your head thrown back as you felt him inspect you, looking for something, rubbing and circling and wiggling and–

“OH–” Your hips jerked upwards at one particular movement. He quickly pressed his free hand on your hip, pushing you down to keep you in place, a smirk spreading on his lips.

“Found you.” Your body was combusting into itself as he kept abusing that part inside of you that no one ever bothered to find. No one ever bothered to look for it and you were feeling your body about to snap the more he rubbed his fingers against it. You were sure you were going to cum soon as you felt your belly start to turn, clench inside of you, and your walls fluttered around his fingers. There’s nothing that could make this better–

Except his tongue latching onto your clit as his fingers never stopped moving. You’ve never felt like this. Your hips were moving by themselves against him, needing more, and your moans were so loud that you were glad you had rented out a very thick walled apartment complex. You were probably heard anyways, but you honestly could care less right now.

He was sucking and biting on you and your body thrashed around as you kept your mouth open. Heavy breaths and moans escaping you without any restraint, not being able to feel anything else but the pleasure your boyfriend was giving you. Then, the stars slowly started to appear as your walls clenched and unclenched in warning.

“Ed– Eddie– I’m gonna–”

“Yes, fuck yes, cum for me. I’ve been waiting for it, cum for me.” And that was all the green light you needed as you back arched off your bed, your head turning to the side as your eyes clenched tightly, holding the pillow in a death grip and making it cover your mouth to try to stifle your sounds a little bit more. You clenched all around him, your orgasm crashing on you like a trainwreck, your belly just contorting into itself as you felt him quicken his movements, riding your orgasm out.

You were gasping as your body remained tensed up, the loud squelching of his movements becoming louder thanks to how wet you became as you came and you came and you came because it felt never ending. You didn’t even notice his mouth was no longer on you, his upper body hovering over you as his right hand kept moving inside of you as he held himself up with the other one against the mattress, right next to your head.

He was looking at your contorted face. A face he’s seen multiple times on camera, on pictures you especially took for him. You started to unclench as your body slowly relaxed, twitched every other second thanks to the aftershocks of your orgasm. It was the best and biggest one you ever had. You felt him stop his movements, slowly, until then he pulled out, making you sigh.

Your eyes opened, blinking a few times to center yourself and then you turned your head to see him looking down at you. You realized he had stared at you during your climax and you felt a little embarrassed but you couldn’t even speak that you saw the fingers that were inside of you come into your vision, your breath heavy as you stared at all the juices that were on them. His eyes went towards them, the wetness moving down his palm, towards his wrist.

His tongue darted out to lick it away, from his wrist to his fingers before putting them into his mouth to taste you again. He moaned into them, closing his eyes, and your own were wide at how filthy everything was, yet so deliciously amazing. He got his fingers out of his lips with a pop and then he looked down at you once again after opening his eyes once more, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Delicious. You’re so fucking perfect… So perfect.” You whined at his praise, your hands reaching out, arms wrapping around his shoulders as he leaned back down, kissing you desperately. You tasted yourself in his mouth, on his tongue, and it was all a little intoxicating. But, even if your body twitched, trembled, you needed more. You were not satisfied. Your thighs closed on his hips as he pressed himself against you again.

You wanted him so much, so much that it was a little bit frightening to you. Now, it was your turn to become an animal. You used your strength to signal him you wanted to turn him. He followed your directions, letting himself fall and roll you two in a different position. You were now straddling him, chest against his as you kissed him desperately. He chased after you when you pulled away and sat back onto him. Your eyes were darkened, pupils fully dilated as your hips moved against his bulge and he hissed, his head rolling against your pillow.

“You like that, baby?” You asked sweetly, and he groaned, nodding desperately. You bit your lip as you grabbed onto the hem of your tanktop and you ripped it off your body in just one second. His eyes were now glued to the matching red bra you had on.

“Oh fuck… Please tell me you took a picture of yourself in this…” He asked, making you smirk and you had in fact taken one… or more. And maybe a video.

“If you behave, I’ll think about sending those to you.” He bit his bottom lips as his hips jerked upwards and you knew you were staining his jeans, but he didn’t care, nor did you. Not when you were about to take them off. You moved backwards, your eyes falling to his belt. Your hands undid it as quickly as they could. You were breathing rather heavily still, and if you had your tongue out, you bet you would be drooling with anticipation, knowing what was under these pants and boxers.

Once the button and zipper were undone as well, it was your turn to take the pants off, but you added his boxers in the mix, killing two birds with one stone. Your patience was wearing thin right now, and you couldn’t handle wasting any more time with him. He helped you rip the rest of his clothes off, throwing his pants and boxers off and you almost fell back from how desperate you were.

You heard the thud of his clothes on the floor and then your eyes finally saw it. Oh, pictures and videos did it no justice. Your mouth watered as your eyes looked at every detail, the veins, the tip, the length, the girth… the tattoo. The fucking tattoo on the underside of his cock. Fuck. You were sure you’re getting wetter again just by looking at him. You didn’t notice how Eddie’s eyes were looking at you as he held himself up on his elbows.

He saw the lust filled look in your eyes, and he could swear he saw your pupils turn into literal hearts as you sighed happily, your hands rubbing on his thighs as you slowly leaned down. His breathing hitched, a broken breath being taken in. Your eyes didn’t leave it for a single second. You were fascinated. You kept your ass up as your upper body lowered more and more. Your nails dragged across his belly when you finally reached the height you needed to have him right in front of your eyes.

Your tongue licked your lips to moisten them, getting them ready to finally taste what you’ve been craving for so long. You gave his tip a tentative kiss, making it twitch instantly. He wanted to throw his head back but he needed to watch you. He needed to engrave this to memory. He is sparing this time because it’s your first time with each other… but he will throw it on the table the next day.

He wants to record you just like this, and much more.

Your tongue lolled out now, your hand coming to grip it to keep it steady as you passed your tongue along the shaft, towards the tip. You heard Eddie groan loudly, wanting to jerk his hips upwards in you, but holding himself back from doing so, letting you have your own moment. Your lips finally closed on his tip, and his body shivered underneath you.

You closed your eyes as you moaned with delight, just sucking the tip of his length to then pop it out. You suddenly spat on it, so you could lube it up in order for your hand to help you in those places you couldn’t reach with your mouth.

“Fucking christ…” You heard him curse with a hiss and you wanted to laugh cockily at him, but you didn’t want to ruin the moment. You finally guided him into your mouth, your movements slow, tongue swirling around him as you went. Maybe it was your imagination going a little wild, but somehow he tasted so good, and you blamed the tattoo for it, as if it were an exotic spice.

He gulped with a sigh, his elbows slowly starting to give up on him the more you moved your head. Your movements quickened, the noise of slurping being added into the mix and you could feel him falling onto the bed with a thud. His hands came to lay on the sheets, gripping onto them so he wouldn’t grab your head, not wanting to force you. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and you finally heard him moan your name. Sigh it out.

That was one of the most beautiful sounds you’ve ever heard. You had heard him before, but it was different in real life. It was his voice. In real time. No interference or internet filter to cover it or mess with his vocal chords. It prompted you to move quicker, play with your tongue against his frenulum, making him whimper and jerk his hips into your mouth, making him gasp when you gagged slightly.

“Shit– Are you okay–?” His head looked down, worry shining through the lust, only to find you smiling as you looked at his cock, before going back in. He chuckled in amazement and it was his go to grab your head with his right hand, just letting it sit there as you did your own pace and movements.

You liked it. You liked the roughness, you had told him you didn’t mind soft and sweet, but you preferred rough and desperate. He is surely giving you that tonight. Your mouth was quick on him, and you could taste some precum in your tongue as you did so. You moaned into it, sending vibrations that made him moan and shiver underneath you.

“Mmmh–” You popped him out of your mouth to then lick his entire length and he sighed your name until he felt the tip of your tongue running on him, and suddenly he chuckled in awe once more.

“Sweetheart, you’re fucking tracing my tattoo with your tongue?” You were in a trance as you kept doing it, giving a dumb little nod. “Shit, that’s so fucking hot–”

“Been wanting to do this for so long… Wanted to trace it–” His resolve broke that second, wondering how many times had you imagined this and dreamed of it. His fingers snaked in your hair, deep, and then he gripped your scalp, making you whimper. The pain was nothing, it only added to the pleasure and it made you tremble as he was on his elbow, looking down at you.

“Think you can be a good girl for me and take me all?” You nodded desperately, looking at him with those eyes he fell for. Puppy eyes. He guided you towards the tip and you opened your mouth instantly, letting him go back into your warmth. Your hands stayed on his thighs, and his free hand gripped the sheets tightly, guiding you further and further and then– he controlled your movements.

He made you bob your head on him, up and down, setting the rhythm himself and you didn’t mind him. You clenched around nothing when you started feeling him hit the back of your throat. You relaxed, knowing what was going to come next and then you breathed through your nose. Once he heard you take a deep intake of breath, he pushed you down, slowly, but roughly.

Your eyes teared up as you finally felt him down your throat. Your nose was deep into his hairs, something he trimmed but kept because you told him you liked it. You breathed through your nose as you focused on not gagging. You moaned into it knowing it would send vibrations to him, causing him to moan your name, feeling his hips move underneath you with need.

But you could hold on for so long, your body slightly jerking as your throat closed on him. The gag making Eddie pull you back up and get himself out of your mouth. He looked at your fucked out face as tears ran down your cheeks, and drool was slipping out the corner of your mouth. Seeing it live was making him feel a little dizzy, and your clouded eyes were not being any help.

You couldn’t wait anymore, your body climbing up on him as he let go of your hair, his hand falling to your hip as your dripping cunt rubbed against his length, right over the tattoo. He sighed, his eyes closing for a second as he enjoyed the friction, the warmth of you. Your hands went to your back, unhooking the bra open. At the sound, Eddie’s eyes found you, taking the straps down your arms, and your last piece of clothing was long gone.

“Oh, fuck sweetheart–”

“Eddie, can I? Please–” Your voice was desperate, whiny, and your hips kept moving back and forth on him, whimpering each time your clit rubbed against his shaft. His eyes were focused on your breasts, his fingertips digging into your skin, and then he nodded quickly, giving you the go.

You smiled, delighted. Your hips raised up enough for you to get your hand in between the two of you. Your hand grabbed onto his cock, guiding him to your entrance, which was so ready to receive him. You two had gotten tested, knowing what was going to transpire the moment you met, and you were so glad you were on birth control to regulate your cycle. This way, you can feel him completely. Raw. You started sinking down, your mouth falling open as his tip started to stretch you, then the rest and, fuck–

“Holy fuck, holy shit–” He was cursing as he looked between your bodies, seeing himself disappear inside of you as your face was still in a contorted state of pleasure. Your voice was gone as you kept sinking down, and you couldn’t wait how it felt to have him bottom out inside of you. You already felt full, and you barely went halfway down on him. It wasn’t even painful, thanks to his prep, to your orgasm, the one he caused.

Finally, you slammed down on him, a loud slap bursting in your ears at your skin hitting his. He choked on a moan at bottoming out inside of you while you trembled in ecstasy, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your nails scratched on his chest for support. Your breathing was heavy, and Eddie could finally refocus on you once more. You were adjusting to him, your head moving back to look down at him, your mouth still letting out breaths that drove him insane.

He was about to talk, only for you to start moving, lifting yourself up to then slam back down, a moan finally escaping your lips as a groan left his. His hands were gripping your waist as if his life depended on it. He felt so good inside of you, just like you always knew he would feel like. He fit perfectly, and you certainly have no idea how you will survive when you don’t have him anymore with you.

Your hips kept moving, going up and down, your tempo rising, the slamming of your hips against his turning louder as he hit deeper. Your moans filled the room, the strain on your legs nonexistent as the pleasure overtook you. The air grew thick thanks to your breath and his, the purple hue making him look ethereal underneath you, his eyes half-lidded as he sighed out in each slam.

It was desperate, it was dirty, the squelching of your pussy against his pelvis, knowing your juices were making a mess out of it. You waited far too long for this and you were going to enjoy every single second of it. His hands moved to get a hold of your breasts as you bounced on him, as you rode the soul out of him.

“Look at you sweetheart– Fucking look at you…” You whined at his words, your eyes closed as he hit you in that sweet spot you adored, your nippled getting in between his fingers for him to pinch and roll. Whimpers and moans leaving your lips at each shock of pleasure, and each time you came down, your clit would brush against his pubes.

“Eds– You feel so good, so damn good–” He grinned at your praise, a thin sheer layer of sweat appearing all over his body as he played with you however he wanted. Suddenly you slammed your hips against him, changing your movements to go back and forth, a gasp leaving your throat and your nails digging into his chest.

“You feel good, baby?” He asked smugly, containing his moans in as he saw you lean back, his hands falling to your middle, while your hands gripped his knees. Your clit kept brushing against him as his cock inside you kept slapping your g-spot. Your movements were fast, hips just swaying like a dance and your mouth remained open in the entirety of it. You nodded dumbly, your head falling backwards as you stared at your ceiling, feeling your eyes burn in pleasure.

“Uh huh, uh huh–” You couldn’t even form words as your belly coiled, twisted on its own. His eyes fell closed, head thrown back into the pillow as you just used him to your liking. Your movements slowed and your head went back to looking at him, your hips changing rhythm as you swayed them in circles and you raised them just a little, moving back down slowly on him. A huff left him as he noticed the change, his eyes opening again to stare at your form.

You were possessed. You didn’t even recognize yourself, never once thinking you would act this way when meeting him. You knew you would be needy, but never this. Never this animalistic. The creaking of your bed was loud, now noticing it just as you noticed your legs growing tired, the trembling evident, but you didn’t want to stop this feeling. Eddie noticed of course, sitting up so he could embrace you, his mouth immediately latching onto your right nipple.

Your arms immediately enclosed around his frame, hands digging into his hair as he rolled your sensitive nipple between his teeth, to then tug at it. You gasped between your moans as he let go of it, and then you let a breath out when he laid back on the bed, pulling you with him, your chest now against him. He chuckled with a breath, planting his feet on the bed, raising his hips upwards.

“My turn, isn’t it?” And the world became non-existent when his hips started slamming up into you, the slapping of skin loud enough for the people living at the very corner of the street to hear, your moans loud enough for the moon to listen to.

His movements were rough, quick, his hands gripping your body to keep you in place and for him to have leverage. His breaths were quick, a curse and your name escaping him here and there, your headboard hitting your wall, and you were certain you would have a noise complaint in the early morning, but that was a problem for the two of you in the future.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck!” You whined as his balls also slapped against you, and you knew tears were falling from your eyes as he kept thrusting, rutting into you. He grunted into your ear, his teeth nipping at your earlobe, which only made you whimper against him. Suddenly he slammed his hips into you, slow and deep, to then repeat the action, and then again.

He growled in each one, and then his hips stopped moving, still inside you, hips attached. You were both panting messes, drool dripping from your mouth from keeping it open all this while, falling onto the pillow and right beside his head. He lowered his hips, making you follow immediately, hitting the mattress once again.

“You alright, darling?” He asked breathlessly and you smiled, nodding against him, which only elicited a smug grin on his lips. “Good, because I’m nowhere done with you.”

Your world was flipped, him having turned you both, his body on top of you once again, and his lips crashed into yours. Immediate tongues and teeth clashing, your moans into his throat and his in yours. He groaned as he slowly started moving his hips into yours once again, the fire having never left you, nor did for him. His mouth was still in your ear as he kept talking to you, softly, in a rough whisper–

“You want to know what I had to do before getting off the plane?” His words were barely processing in your head, but you still understood him as his ministrations inside of you never stopped. You shook your head, but he was not having it. “Talk.”

“W-What?” You asked and he tutted, relishing in having turned you into a cockdrunk mess.

“What…?”

“What– Fuck, what did you do?” He hummed in approval, his breath hot in your ear, and if you thought this man couldn’t turn you on more than he was already, even when fucking you senseless, you were wrong.

“I had to jack off in the plane’s bathroom before landing.” You gasped as his hips rutted deep inside you, grunting into your ear before he continued. “I wouldn’t have lasted if I didn’t.”

You felt your belly burning, a moan escaping your lips with his name etched in it like a prayer. He chuckled through a huff, his movements still slow and meditated, his lips finding your neck once more, sucking on your skin to leave his mark. He was sure to mark you all up before he left, from head to toe, for everyone in your state to know you belonged to someone, that you belonged to him.

He will trace and retrace, leave your skin in red and purple markings. First mark? A necklace for your neck. So he continued moving, sucking onto your skin and biting onto it as he went from one side to another as you became a mess under him. Your nails were scratching the back of his neck, his back, reciprocating the marking in your own way. He could feel it, and he was going to proudly show it off before they fade away, going to make sure to prepare a gig so he could rip his shirt off in front of everyone so they could see.

His lips left your skin, his hands planting on the mattress on each side of your head to push himself up to admire his work. Your eyes were half lidded, completely blown out as your breaths left your pretty lips. A perfect necklace of hickies around your neck that looked way too good on you, a grin appearing on his lips.

“Perfect… Fucking perfect.” With those words, your arms fell to the sides as he slowly kneeled up, his hands running all over your body, creating goosebumps on your skin despite how hot you felt. He then gripped your waist, tightly, and you saw how his smile fell, his chest moving up and down in heavy breaths and then–

He started railing into you like a madman. More creaks. More slapping of skin. More squelching. More cries of pleasure leaving you as he abused your insides in the most delicious and addicting of ways. Your hands coming to grip the pillow underneath your head once again, your legs spread as you saw them bounce back and forth as he moaned over you.

“Uh– Ed– Eds!” He loved to hear his name coming out of your mouth like this. He can’t wait to record you, stash this in his secured folder in his phone for his use when he returns to Hawkins. His fringe was surely sticking to his forehead from the force of his movements, but he couldn’t stop. He wasn’t going to stop, not when you were a blabbering fucking mess.

You saw his contorted face, the pleasure just written all over it, the desperation. Your whole entire self was putty, letting him use you, letting him take whatever he wanted from you and you were enjoying it. You were loving it. You were loving him. You gasped when you started feeling that pressure in your belly grow, the climax building inside of you and Eddie could feel it the second your walls fluttered around him.

“Where is it?” He breathlessly asked and you didn’t even know if he said something until his movements stopped and a hand grabbed your cheeks, puckering your lips to catch your attention. His face was suddenly inches from yours. “I asked, where is it, darling.”

“Wha–?” You were so confused, your hips swaying so he would keep moving but his hips were grounded against you as he shook his head at you, his grip tightening around your face.

“Where’s the vibrator?” That little pink thing he saw you use millions of times, and you were trying to process his words in your head, your hand moving shakily towards your night table. He let go of your face so he could reach over, almost ripping the drawer open and he instantly saw it. He grabbed it, your eyes following his movements as they slowly widened, knowing what he was going to do. He smirked your way, licking his bottom lip as his finger pressed on the ‘on’ button, the little but powerful bullet vibrator coming to life.

“Eddie…” You called to him as he kneeled up, sitting back on his calves, his left hand still gripping your waist tightly as his right one held your vibrator, his eyes stuck on it.

“Intense little fucker, no wonder it’s your favorite to use, baby.” He gave it a kiss, sending a tremble all over your body, “Arch your back.”

You followed his instructions, and even if tired, you planted your feet on the bed, arching your back upwards. His hips started moving again, your hands gripping the pillow tightly once more as you whined, your mouth closed this time. The headboard started to slowly bang against the wall once more the more he picked up speed and your mind was gone.

It felt even deeper than before, more intense, and the position was making your spongy spot be hit perfectly in each thrust. He huffed in each one, trying to control his breathing as you moaned loud ‘ah ah ah’s’, and then, a cry was ripped from you when the vibrator was placed on your clit, your eyes widening at the sensation.

“You’re such a dream, so perfect for me, made for me–” He grunted as your body trembled underneath him, your orgasm now building at a quick and desperate pace. You would be surprised if you weren’t screaming his name.

“So good! Fuck– It’s so fucking good! Keep– Keep going, pleasepleaseplease–” You were begging, as if he were to even think of stopping. He felt you fluttering and clenching all around him, making him growl and grunt, your name slipping from his lips. He could feel his own climax reaching close now, but he was going to feel you one more time. He rolled the vibrator around your clit, flicking it against you as the hand on your waist helped you keep yourself arched against him.

“Yeah baby, scream my fucking name, come on–” He was touching heaven right now, the more you talked, the more you cried out, the more you clenched around him. Drool out of your mouth, tears out of your eyes, that fucking necklace he put around your neck. It will go so well with his pick necklace.

“Eddie– Eddie– Eddie, please!” You kept begging and begging the more you felt yourself tipping over the edge. The creaking of your bed and the banging of the headboard falling to deaf ears, only your moans and his, the vibrator and the slapping of skin the only sounds heard between these four walls.

“I know, baby, I know. Let go, come on, you can do it for me– Be a good girl, come on–” The praise was what sent you off, your face turning just like it did last time to muffle your moan, your cry, your yelp, as your body arched into him, your walls clenching around his cock, tighter than they did the first time. It prompted him to stop his movements, a loud grunt being heard from him as you saw stars behind your eyelids.

He could only rut his hips into you to help you ride your orgasm, keeping the vibrator to your clit, making your body convulse in ecstasy. He could feel his own body tensing up, the tightness making it impossible for him to hold himself back. He felt you slowly unclench around him, your body twitching against him. Once he knew he could move again, your insides now so smooth to glide into, his need for release made him go feral.

Your vibrator was thrown to the side, and he was panting as he leaned over you, letting your back touch the mattress once again. His hands gripped the top of your headboard as your body was folded, your hips now lifting from your mattress one more time, your body already sore, but he had to cum. He needed to cum. You needed to feel him inside of you, because you would let him mark you inside and out.

His hips slammed against you, jerking you upwards, a yelp coming out of your lips from overstimulation. He grunted in each thrust, your breath knocked out of your lungs as he did it slowly, yet rough. Slam. Slam. Slam.

“I’m– I’m gonna cum– I’m going to fill you up so good, jesus fucking christ–” And all it took was one last slam before he let himself sit inside of you, his eyes clenching tightly as he came, a moan escaping your lips as you felt him and then–

CRACK.

His hands slid from the headboard as you both suddenly dropped, a gasp escaping you. A choked breath left your lips the moment you two bounced, his body almost falling over you if it weren’t for his elbows that planted on each side of your head, your hips falling back down. Your heart was beating out of your throat, your lungs compressed from the scare and adrenaline.

What had just happened? You shivered when Eddie shuddered, a last spurt being shot inside of you. You were both panting, his face coming to meet yours after he looked around at what had happened.

“Sweetheart, did– did we just break your bed?” And you realised your mattress was now on top of broken boards, hinges, and your headboard was a little wobbly, holding onto the side rails that enclosed your mattress. You blinked a few times as your arms held onto Eddie, and then–

You laughed through your exhaustion, through the adrenaline, through the remainder of your climaxes, and he followed right behind you. Breathless laughs, gulping from the sudden realization of how dry your throats were, but the giggles never stopped. Your mind was now clearer thanks to the scare, thanks to how incredible it was that you two had managed to break your slats, despite the seller telling you they were very strong and sturdy.

“We… We did…” You replied through heavy breaths, huffs of laughter escaping you through them and he chuckled on top of you, his bun now a mess, to the point it was almost coming off.

“I’ll get you a new one… holy fuck…” You shook your head with a smile as you held his face, guiding him into a soft kiss this time, your heart bursting with giddiness.

“No, it’s okay…” He smiled down at you, all teeth, and pecked your lips once again, his breath hitting your face, strong exhales coming from his nose. He pulled away, and his eyes were just wide with amusement as you smiled up at him.

“Oof.” He sighed to then smile down at you. “Well, that was the biggest workout I had in a while.” You giggled, giving him a nod in understanding, your chest still heaving as you caught your breath.

“I can agree with you on that one…” You reached up to put a strand of hair behind his ear, a content smile on your face, not being able to hide your happiness despite your body aching all over. He huffed one more time, kissing the tip of your nose before he started to slowly pull out of you. You both groaned at the feeling, realizing how sensitive the two of you were. He sighed one more time, his eyes falling onto your center. They widened as he pulled himself up, almost falling over from how wobbly his legs were, making you laugh in confusion as you pulled yourself up with a whimper, but he stopped you.

“Stay there! Do not move.” He stepped over the side rails, once again, almost falling over. He grabbed his phone from the pocket of his jacket, and you could see his tongue poking out of his lips as he came back to you, his camera pointing directly at your pussy. Your eyes were wide with embarrassment, wanting to close your legs on him. “Nuh uh, no.”

“What are you doing!?”

“I am not missing the opportunity to take a picture out of this!” He smiled with victory as he snapped the photo and then looked at it. “Best Valentine's ever!”

He then showed it to you and you gasped as you saw his cum dripping out of you, and you immediately sat up properly, to then get up to clench your legs together, making him laugh.

“Not funny! It’s running down!”

The following events were funny, domestic even. You two went to the bathroom as Eddie apologized, lying of course, while you sat on the toilet waiting for every single drop of him to fall down into it. You both then washed yourselves with a wet washcloth each because you were too tired to take a shower. A slap being given at Eddie for the hickies, the extremely unhideable hickies, he left on your neck. A brush of teeth and deciding to just go to bed naked, Eddie’s suggestion with a wiggle of eyebrows.

“Easier access for when we wake up tomorrow.” You had smacked him on top of the head and while you got some water bottles from the kitchen, he had pulled the broken slats from underneath the mattress.

After finally hydrating yourselves again, and maybe eating another slice of pizza, even though you brushed your teeth minutes ago, you were finally laying on his chest as a new comforter covered both of you because the other one had to be desperately washed now… maybe even burned.

You sighed in contentment as you traced figures on his chest, your heart beating rapidly as he kept his arm around you, the other one on the back of his head, smiling at your ceiling. The purple hue in your room thanks to the led lights making it a calm atmosphere for the two of you now, instead of horny animals.

Your mouth opened and closed as you debated your next words. Should you? Would he run off? Would he get scared? Was it too soon? Maybe it was, but you needed to get the words out of your system before you exploded with them. The actions that had just transpired made your feelings just burst and grow tenfold than what they already were.

But he deserved it. He deserved every single word.

“Eds…”

“Mmm?” He was still smiling, his breathing now calm, relaxed, and your eyes clenched as you pressed your head even more into his chest.

“I love you.”

Silence. His body tensed all over, you could feel it underneath your palm, your body that was draped against his side. You fucked up. You did, didn’t you? You ruined it. You ruined his visit, the moment, the relationship, by simply moving too fast.

Yet, both his arms came to squish you close to him, eliciting an ‘oof’ from your part as he knocked the breath out of your lungs. He was hugging you, tightly, rocking the both of you with happiness, almost giggling with it.

“You fucking beat me to it! I was supposed to say it first! I was mustering the courage just now.” He replied and your eyes widened for a second as you processed his words, a smile bursting in your lips as you held him close, feeling the need to cry out of joy, sadness, and with hope.

“Then say it back, you idiot.” You claimed and he chuckled, moving so he could be facing you, both of you on your sides now. His hand came to trace your cheek softly, adoringly, as if he was etching your features into memory.

“I love you, my goddess.” There was a blush on his cheeks as he said it, and you knew he meant every word. You felt heat rush to your own cheeks, still smiling at him with devotion. He licked his lips nervously as he stuttered his next words. “Y-You know… Virginia doesn’t… look that bad.”

You were taken aback by his words and– Was he saying…

“Are you… implying you want to move… here?” You asked, your eyes wide, and now you realize Eddie had been having the same fears as you were. Moving too fast. In the eyes of strangers it might be, but after having him here with you… it didn’t feel fast at all.

“I mean– It’s a little too soon, and I need to… check finances and… get a new job and all… but, well– Gotta start thinking about it, you know.” He was looking down, trying to avoid your gaze. You really wanted to cry now. You never expected that playing a game would end in this situation. You smiled warmingly as your hand rested on his cheek, making him look at you once again.

“Mmm… I think that Charleston in West Virginia sounds… good.” He frowned and you knew he was confused. You remembered how Eddie told you he failed senior year twice, so maybe you had to be more specific. “It’s right in between Indiana and Virginia…”

His face softened, a warm smile appearing and his left hand rubbing your waist lovingly. You were making sure you both had equal distance between your family and friends. A distance where you probably didn’t need a plane ticket to visit. He gave you a nod, pulling you closer for his nose to touch yours.

“Then we better start planning, sweetheart.”

And that you did plan.

end

a/n: i just think that long distance eddie would be as feral as a rabid dog when meeting his partner for the first time ever. pls reblog, don't just like

divider by @thecutestgrotto

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fics #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things fic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #stranger things fanfiction

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prael · 7 months ago

Text

Day 1: Scandal

Aespa Karina x male reader smut

words: 4,260 12 Days of Praelmas Masterlist

They're calling it the scandal of the century. A downright disaster. People scrambled in the aftermath, but the damage had been done, the proverbial milk spilt. And oh, did the milk spill alright. It sounds like everyone had tuned in right around the country. Hell, right around the world.

If they didn't catch it live, then they certainly caught the post-game replays.

There are a lot of those going around.

No amount of damage control could have prevented it from exploding all over the Internet and into every gossip rag imaginable. But damn it if her PR team hadn't tried to stop it anyway. They had gone on the offence—attacking everyone and anyone who had even so much as hinted at the incident. Filing every legal document they could just get it removed.

It doesn't matter. The damage is done. The ties are cut and you're both hung out to dry.

Well before it happened, there had been warnings. Karina was still fresh off the back of her first Dispatch leak. The two of them weren't even really dating. Two young, rich and hot adults were just fooling around, so once it hit the press and the online articles came in, she took the axe to that relationship right away. She could always find another dick to ride on.

That she did; your dick, and damn did she ride it.

It was a friend of a friend thing. You know one of those 'I showed this girl your picture and she wants to get to know you' things. To be honest, you thought it was a joke. Of course, you did. How often does some K-pop starlet want to have dinner with you?

Anyway, three months down the line and you're two and half months deep into, well, being deep into her.

Her apartment is nice. Her bed is nicer, or at least it is with her in it.

You spent night after night together doing every nasty, carnal thing she wanted. She loves it. You would come to realise she's a bit of a nymphomaniac—and you fucking love it. But, even still, you kept it casual. Kept it quiet.

Didn't work too well.

There was a close call, once.

You put it down to getting a little too comfortable. The guard slipped for just the briefest moment of weakness. Though, if anything, you would at least put part of the blame on the whole system. See, Karina can't catch a flight without the entire thing being documented. She arrives at the airport and they're all there waiting with cameras in hand to get the latest snap of her airport fashion as she comes out of the van. They know what flight she's on and the exact departure time, and then when she lands there's another group of fans waiting.

So it goes without saying, you two can't just waltz in there hand-in-hand. So you book the same flight, seated far enough away from her that no one would question a thing. You shouldn't speak, not until you're safely at the other end and in the privacy of the hotel room, but Karina is Karina.

So she texted you, this one time in the departure lounge. A twenty-minute window and directions to the toilets of the private lounge. There, in the small cubicle, you slipped down her jeans, turned her around, bent her over and made her feel good.

It was quick and messy. Nothing like how the sex would be in her hotel later that night. You had her cheek pressed against the door of the cubicle, your hand covering her mouth to stifle the noise, and your dick going balls deep in her hot pussy while her hand rubbed away at her clit. It was desperate and hungry—more the need to release the sexual tension than to enjoy it.

But damn was it fun.

She deepened the arch of her back and presented herself just that bit more for you and you watched every inch go inside her with each thrust. Watched as your cock spread apart those soft pussy lips of hers and vanished into the warm embrace of her body. Her ass shook as your hips slapped against it and eventually, her legs trembled so much that you had to wrap your arm around her waist to keep her up.

But when you came—and you came deep—someone entered the bathroom. Their presence was unknown until you heard the faucet run. For a brief, horrifying moment you thought it might be someone waiting to bust you.

A security guard or maybe a tabloid reporter ready to get their story. The scandal of the century? Not quite.

Just another passenger. They didn't even realise who they were next to as they washed their hands. But the idea that you both could've been caught, had Karina let that moan slip or if you hadn't just stopped pounding her against the door so hard that it rattled the hinges.

Afterwards, with your spent dick sliding out from between her tight thighs, it was something Karina whispered in your ear. She said, "That was close. We'll have to be more careful."

If only you knew just how careless she was about to be...

See, it was a pretty normal evening. She texted you a time to come over, and you took all the usual precautions. (There's a side door into the block and a service elevator that Karina made sure to get the passcode for.) Admittedly, you got there five minutes early, but it wasn't the first time it had happened, and since the first time, Karina made sure to leave a sock on the bedroom door just in case it happened again. She was streaming, you see, an Instagram live session. One of those things where the adoring fans get to listen to their idols talk about themselves, or their day, or sometimes with Karina, something a little out of the ordinary.

So you waited. A drink of water, sitting on her couch, and letting curiosity take over. You opened up her Instagram, watched her for a few minutes, and smiled to yourself because, as usual, she was simply being Karina. No topic, just rambling, but there were thousands watching anyway, because well, why wouldn't they?

A smile crept onto your face as you watched, knowing that she was in the next room, just looking that good, and soon enough you would be in there ravishing her. There were thousands upon thousands of other people, jealous of you without even realising you existed, who would give almost anything to be in your shoes—to be able to do the things you do to Karina. Fuck, some of them would probably sell everything they owned.

Then she started saying goodbye to people. Signing off, wishing them a good night, whatever. So you locked the phone and waited until she came down the hallway.

She was moving quickly, right towards you. Bare feet hitting the wooden floor in hurried little slaps. She jumped right into your lap without so much as a 'Hello', and she clamped her legs, clad in tight yoga pants, around your waist. She grabbed either side of your face and kissed you, a hand reaching back and pulling on the hair at the base of your skull as she did.

And it wasn't soft either.

It was fierce and aggressive. Her tongue forced its way into your mouth, pushing against your own, flicking over your teeth. She ground herself against the erection growing beneath her and breathed hot breath against your lips while biting down on the lower one.

"You," she gasped. "Take me to the bedroom... Now."

"Hi to you too," you joked, putting your arms under her butt.

She was so very easy to carry. Maybe because you had done it so many times before. But she had always been a light little thing, so slender apart from exactly the places you would want her to be big. It always made it so easy to pin her against the wall with her leg over your shoulder, to press her up against the shower and bounce her up and down on your cock while steam filled the bathroom. But mostly it was great because you could easily throw her down on the bed.

Tonight wasn't going to be any different.

Except it was, wasn't it? But neither of you knew that just yet.

As you walked toward her room, holding her gorgeous body up with nothing but a firm grasp on her ass, she kept whispering things to you. Whispered them right against your ear, her voice low and husky as she did. She told you about all the things that she wanted you to do to her. The things that she wanted to do to you. Like some raw, filthy script of a play long overdue to be performed.

"...and then I want you to put it right back in my pussy and cum in me again and again," she said it right as you pushed through the door. Look, Karina's room isn't that huge, but when you're dying to get your cock into her, going all the way to the bed seemed like such a pain when there was a perfectly good wall right there. You turned and pinned her against it.

There you two stayed for a while, locked in that embrace, kissing and nibbling. She wrestled your shirt off over your head while you peeled up her sports bra. You bent your head down to her chest and kissed along the valley between her breasts. Her soft skin warm against your lips, and you kept pressing them down on her, leaving faint wet marks until you reached one of those pert pink nipples. You cupped her tit and you sucked. Hard.

A little whimper of appreciation followed by a slight tremble through her body was the response.

You went from one to the other. Fingers caressing one and your mouth on the other, switching between them, never fully committing to either, keeping her guessing as to which nipple would feel the bliss next. Karina knew what she wanted, and she simply wouldn't wait. Maybe the rush to get fucked could be blamed for all of this.

See, while you sucked her tits, she pulled down her leggings and her underwear. Maybe it was desperation, maybe it was convenience, but she didn't even pull them past her knees. Instead, as you continued your adoration, she unbuckled your belt and let your trousers fall to the floor. Your underwear didn't last long either. She gave a couple of lazy strokes up the length of your cock, just enough for her to feel it getting hard. Enough for her to know you could give her what she needs.

She twisted between you and the wall and leaned against it; her tits pressing against the white paintwork, and she stuck out her ass. "Don't hold back," she instructed. "I need it."

For all the focus you gave her tits, Karina does have a hell of an ass.

So with her arms up above her head and grasping high, she looked perfect. The swell of her hips, the curve of her ass—it was just to be grabbed and slapped. Those legs looked fucking perfect, slightly muscled from hours of dance practice but still so thin and lean. And between them... fuck. If there's such a thing as a pussy so good it should win awards then Karina better prepare her speech.

You weren't gentle.

Gentle doesn't work for her. Gentle is boring. Normal. Vanilla. Karina's tasted it all before and she's bored. You won't remember the first time she said those words to you. She made you promise not to judge her but she told you exactly how depraved and slutty she really wants to be in bed.

So when she said, "Fuck me hard," you did exactly that.

Spit on your cock was enough to get it slick. You stroked the tip up and down across her waiting pussy a couple of times and found the right place. Then you slid it right inside her, letting it rest buried for just a moment before you pulled back. You didn't even go halfway before you thrust it right back into her. Right down to the balls. Deep as you can go.

A pleasured hiss passed over clenched teeth as her cheek pressed against the wall and she nodded, just once, telling you that she wanted more. You fucked her harder, feeling her hot insides clench at your cock. Her hips smacked against the wall with each thrust, the room echoing with the sounds of your flesh coming together. The squelch of her wet hole was barely audible over her cries. Cries that steadily increased in volume the longer you held her against the wall, the more aggressively you bucked your hips against her, the harder you drove your dick into her body.

"Don't stop!" she cried out as her legs shivered.

No danger of that.

Maybe you should have.

Karina was struggling. To not fall apart in your hands, to hold herself against the wall, but also just to keep breathing as the intensity of your deep pounding washed over her, making her shudder and shake in front of you. One of her hands flew down to between her legs. The tips of her fingers went in a circle around her clit.

But as much fun as taking her against the wall was, she would fall if you continued.

So you did what you knew you could so easily do, just threw her. Her quivering body collapsed onto her bed after a small stumble. Right into the one place in the room, she shouldn't be.

See, Karina was sitting just here, maybe ten minutes earlier. You were watching, on your phone. She had chatted and joked and waved goodbye, just where you were about to fuck her.

She clambered up the bed and onto all fours, looking back at you with lust-drunk eyes, urging you on, needing to be fucked some more. So you crawled right up behind her, took a grip of those beautiful hips and you slipped your cock back inside her.

One stroke and you bottomed out within her.

Two strokes and she began moaning again.

By the third, you were slamming her forward with each push.

The bed creaked in protest as you hammered yourself into Karina, keeping up with what she wanted as she pushed back at you, meeting every buck of your hips with equal force and speed. At least one orgasm tore through her body. You felt it in the way her body contracted around your thick shaft as you drove it deep inside her, but also heard it in the way she screeched through gritted teeth. Saw it as she clawed at the blankets, grabbing handfuls of material and pulling at them as her body tensed up.

"Cum," she pleaded with just the one word.

And that's what you did. Her little pussy made sure of it. Feeling her spasm around you, squeezing your throbbing cock so tightly that you couldn't resist but join her in ecstasy. So you flooded her sweet cunt, sending ropes of cum into her waiting body, painting her walls, feeling every inch of her pussy pulse as her body urged yours to give her everything it had. Her cries mingled with the heavy panting as you emptied your balls within her.

You couldn't keep it up. Fucking Karina sometimes feels too intense, takes so much energy out of you, makes your muscles burn. So you had to withdraw from her and rest back on your haunches, catching your breath, your heart racing. But Karina is Karina.

She turned around and before you could move, she had taken hold of your thighs and moved forward. Her lips wrapped around the tip of your glistening cock and began sucking on it. As her tongue rolled across the slit and along the underside, tasting your seed and her own juices combined. Her cheeks hollowed, eyes staring up at you from behind damp hair and you felt her moans reverberating through you.

How can she do this every time? How can she make you recover so quickly? Because you did. No sooner had Karina placed her head in your lap than you grew hard again. You were left fighting that war against conflicting desires: whether to push her off and have her again or keep the pleasure of having her mouth on you. Every swirl of her tongue across the sensitive parts of your cock, the feeling of her lips gliding along its length, her throat opening and the tightness taking your crown.

"Oh shit..." you groaned. "Are you trying to kill me?"

She didn't answer but you noticed her hips wiggle slowly side-to-side.

It wasn't long before she relinquished the grasp she had on your thighs and let you pull her into position. A roll onto her back. A pillow under her lower back. You hooked one leg over your shoulder while she held the other out wide, laying right on the edge of the bed. You sank into her again and again, rocking the entire bed with each thrust.

And how you only wish now that you had at literally any point taken a look to your right. Maybe you would have questioned why her phone was still there. Maybe you would have made her check the thing was actually off.

Of course, you know now the mistake that Karina made.

You pushed her down into the bed, pressing her leg against her chest as you fucked her. Fucked her deeply. You had changed the tempo now, switched to something slower, more powerful and purposeful. That load you left in her cunt made the whole thing a mess. You pounded into her and it spilt between you, running down her ass and soaking her bedding. Karina gasped as her second climax crashed through her.

Her phone caught it all.

Every minute.

When Karina came, so loud, so hard, so intense that she didn't know who or where she was, people were watching. Her fans watched. When she said your name as she stared up into your eyes with such gratitude, they were listening. And when you came for the second time, she made sure everyone could hear.

"I feel it," she whispered, her fingers digging into your arms. "I feel it. All of it. Give me more. Fill me."

She pulled at her thighs, spreading herself open and making you groan into the crook of her neck as your throbbing dick pulsed, unleashing another load of thick cum deep within her body, making another wonderful mess. Leaving her already soaked cunt saturated. Together you lay like that, two exhausted bodies wrapped in an embrace, your cock twitching, occasionally releasing a few drops inside her. Karina giggled.

"There's nothing better than that feeling," she groaned. "Nothing... better."

She looked right into your eyes as she said it.

"It's my favourite thing in the world."

So you kissed her, both of you falling into the tangled mass of sweat-soaked blankets while you stayed on top of her. She didn't want to let go, not yet, not while the closeness and warmth were shared. Your bodies pressed together with your softening cock still inside her until eventually you slipped out and came to lie beside her. She nestled up against your chest.

In the silence that proceeded, there was a vibration across the room. Your phone is still in your pocket, somewhere on the floor. You let it ring out, while you lay there, breathing heavily. Again it vibrated. "Ugh," you groaned, "Leave me alone."

"Is someone missing you?" Karina teased.

"Doubt it," you replied.

Karina let her hand trace patterns across your chest, moving slowly towards your hip. You knew the game. Get you hard again, and ride you into the middle of next week. It worked, too. Even though you protested, her hand wrapping around your shaft soon brought it back to life. Sensitive strokes had you squirming and groaning.

"Well, whoever it is will just have to deal with the fact you're mine tonight," she purred.

Then you heard an unusual noise. Another buzz. But not your phone. From somewhere else. But you paid it no attention as Karina got up from your chest, swung her leg over you and began lowering herself down onto you. What started as slow gentle fucking quickly progressed back to something far hungrier and desperate. Her nails dragged lines across your torso, your hands gripping tightly at her waist to steady her. You watched as your cum leaked out of her cunt and onto you as she rode.

You reached between her legs and scooped up a blob, bringing it to her lips.

"Lick it," you told her. "Taste it."

And she opened wide for your fingers and cleaned them up. "That's what you wanted?"

"Yeah. Tell me what it tastes like."

"Tastes like us," she moaned, fucking you faster, pushing you deeper.

Then she leaned back, making a show of the way she rolled her hips against you. Bouncing as she impaled herself on you. Her head rolled back and her eyes closed as another orgasm approached. It built slowly, the intensity growing higher and higher until she teetered on the edge, balanced between bliss and rapture. The way her tits bounced had you hypnotised. Focus locked on her. Ignoring the phone that continued to ring.

She was close. Really close. Riding you frantically. Her moans turned into short desperate gasps until she had no voice left. You heard the scream before and saw how hard she came, but now you had front-row seats to watch it all again. Her muscles tightened and spasmed. Her rhythm faltered.

Your phone rang.

"Shit. Oh fuck!" she screamed, throwing her head back, arching her spine and freezing mid-thrust.

Her cunt gripped you tightly. Squeezing, milking. Urging you to release within her once more and give her that final gift. You felt her leak over you. Watched as her pussy throbbed as she rode out those final moments, struggling to continue as her strength failed. You grabbed her hips and did the work. Thrusting up into her repeatedly. Feeling her cum dribbling down your shaft and over your balls. Fuck, she's messy.

She panted desperately and let her arms drop by her side, staying arched and leaning back. You helped her balance. She needed it.

Your phone kept ringing.

You ignored it. You fucked up into her, wanting nothing more than to cum inside her again. Your muscles burned. You clenched your teeth. The pressure in your lower abdomen was unbearable. But you pounded up into Karina, making her call out with each thrust, while your grip on her probably turned her hips purple. The pleasure in you rose and rose, so fast, so intense, and without warning it broke.

You came again.

Holding her down and shooting your cum deep inside her. Gasping for air as you did, flooding her body with rope after rope until her insides dripped. Her thighs became glazed in the evidence of your passion.

Then you lowered her down to lie against your chest and you held her close. Until her breathing settled and you could hear her purr, "I think you've outdone yourself this time."

"I think you'll kill me," you joked in return.

"But imagine how happy I'd be if you died from giving me too many orgasms."

A laugh. Another vibration. "Whoever that is must really need me," you grumbled.

"Fuck them," she laughed.

"Why, when I can keep fucking you?"

Karina bit her lip. She seemed pleased with that answer. Then you realised that even as you softened within her, she hadn't stopped grinding against you. Making those slow circles, keeping herself stimulated and trying to get you hard again.

"You're relentless," you marvelled.

"And you love it."

"I love-"

There's a bang at the door and then a bell.

Karina groaned. She sighed. She relented.

Then she rolled off your spent cock, letting it slip from her swollen cunt and you both stared at the ceiling. "Maybe they'll go away?" you mused. They didn't.

"Come on," she huffed. "Stay there. Let me get rid of them."

You listened to her walk across the hardwood floor in her bare feet. Unstable steps courtesy of your enthusiastic rutting.

She pulled on a robe and left the room. Your phone vibrated again as she left, so finally you rolled out of the bed, crawled to find your pants and pulled the damn thing out.

More missed calls and messages than you could count, and not just one person. Your friends, Karina's friends, and... Karina's manager? Face recognition kicked in and the phone unlocked. You're staring at Karina's messy bed.

You're staring at Karina's messy bed on your screen.

The icon has the word 'live' beside it.

You're staring at Karina's messy bed on Instagram Live.

Your heart stops beating. Your breath catches in your throat. You swallow nothing. Wait. One. Two. Three.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" is the scream from across the apartment. You look at the phone again. Karina's messy bed, on Instagram Live, with millions of viewers.

Oh.

Oh fuck.

That was when the realisation of your combined carelessness struck you both—separated by a wall, finding out from two different sources.

Now, they're calling it the scandal of the century. A downright disaster.

#Karina smut #Aespa smut #male reader #kpop smut #m reader #Karina x reader #praelmas #smut #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction

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