#like how can you look at a manatee and say that florida's nothing but a hellhole?

[borgeslabyrinth]

"Florida is hell on earth" sounds like a you problem

[crowcaws]

Inspired by a twitter thread i saw, I, Australian and certified dumb of ass, will now list every main American state and what I associate it with/what I think it's about/famous for WITHOUT GOOGLING. These thoughts will be stated as fact regardless of whether or not they are true.

Alabama - Banjos. Reese Witherspoon lives here. Shares a border with Florida for some reason. Fifteen people live here. I'm glad i'm not allowed to google because i feel like i'd find things i don't want to know.

Alaska - Mountains. Balto. State flower is a tree of some kind. The roads are just the tyre tracks in the snow of the vehicles that came before whispering "trust me". Kodiak is here, where Pitbull famously said 'keep fucking around, we'll be on the moon next.' I think this is where Mulder and Scully got fucked up by a brain worm.

Arizona - Desert but not the Las Vegas kind. The granyon canyon. State flower is a cactus. State bird also a cactus. Bella Swan got fucked up in a dance studio here. It seems very scenic.

Arkansas - The name of this state makes me think of rusty old utes and that's it, that's all I've got. "Pickup trucks" or whatever. Grow up.

California - The great Lucille Bluth once said, "I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona" but personally I think i'm with Michael on this one. California has Hollywood and an ok tourist beach. Green Day are from here. San Francisco seems cool though, I like how it looks like a city designed specifically to kill skateboarders and cyclists. State flower is a grand theft auto PS2 disc. Population: more than Australia.

Colorado - Mountains. Elks and Deer and Eagles and Giraffes on ski slopes. Much domestic tourism, have never once heard of anyone from outside the US specifically visiting Colorado though idk. Verdict: America's New Zealand.

Connecticut - The dry weetbix of states. I think of monopoly but I can't remember why. State flower is a dandelion that has been stepped on. Biggest export is men's office attire, specifically brown two piece suits and those short sleeve button ups. I only found out today that there's a C in the middle of Connecticut I always thought it was 'Conneticut'.

Delaware - Delawhere the fuck is this state I have no idea. Probably still cooler than Connecticut. Famous for combination fast food chains and buildings that clearly used to be a pizza hut (you can tell by the roof). Idrk what Cracker Barrel is but I can tell you the employees spawn here.

Florida - Biscayne bay. Manatees. Shaped like a sock, or something else. Famous for hotels, motels, and holiday inns. Would be a fun state if not for the fact that every politician in charge of it is fucking it up so so bad. One of the few places in the USA where you can see the Southern Cross constellation. Miami Dale forever RIP Logan Horseman.

Georgia - peaches. atlantis. brisket. no other thoughts detected, moving on

Hawaii - Famous for killing James cunt Cook which is honestly a deserved and certified W for Hawaiians. Plagued (and I do mean plagued) by tourists, including Australian Prime Ministers ignoring national emergencies.

Idaho - Sleepy. Things don't happen here but when they do they happen so much because nothing happens here. National flower is probably like a daisy or something so so normal.

Illinois - Chicago bean. It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. WatchDogs the game. Famous for girlbosses who kill their husbands. Population 11 millions.

Indiana - Rainy probably. Honestly I only remember this state exists because of Stranger Things, which I understand this is like someone saying they only remember Australia exists because of Crocodile Dundee but look. Population: At least 10.

Iowa - This is such a place to be from if you're moving to the big city because all the other waitresses at the diner back home said you got a voice worth payin for and you finally stopped letting your papa tell you what to do. Famous for crop duster planes. State flower is long grass.

Kansas - Famous for scarecrows, wheat and the like. Probably fun at Halloween actually. Great place to fake an alien sighting. I just remembered Dorothy is from here. Population: Yes.

Kentucky - Fried chicken. NASCAR. Speedway. Derby. State flower is a blown out tyre on the side of the road.

Louisiana - Very wet but in a pretty way. Birthplace of the Saxophone. New Orleans is officially the strongest reason I would ever be tempted to set foot in this country. New York wishes she was this beautiful. Famous for the Vampire Diaries spinoff The Originals.

Maine - Next to Kentucky. Lobsters are from here which means there's water, but don't ask me where. Famous for The Vampire Diaries. State flower is a rose, beautiful but generic, like a YA protagonist.

Maryland - Rural but in a manageable way. I think of letterboxes with the family last name on it. Grandmas love it here. Hairspray the musical.

Massachusetts - Ohhhh Legally Blonde. Boston. Harvarb Law. The colour brown. When pronounced it's a very nice name for a state actually.

Michigan - I reference 'can't have shit in Detroit' almost daily but I know almost nothing else about Michigan.

Minnesota - Mini Soda. Also a good state name. No idea what's here, deer or elk or beavers. There's no way to know for sure.

Mississippi - I like this state name less but only because it's hell on the lisp i battle to mask. It's named after a river. It's on the coast. Next to Pennsylvania.

Missouri - A lot of M states happening here. This place is famous for nothing. I don't know what the capital city is but it's definitely a place you move to for your job instead of like. On purpose. Population: 3 million. It's in the middle somewhere.

Montana - This state's main export is horse girls, very Saddle Club coded. It's on the Canadian border, but it shouldn't be like that. It should be in the middle. Hannah Montana's dad was all Nashville but he's basically from Toronto. Fucked up if you ask me.

Nebraska - When I think of Nebraska I think of those depressing Walmart carparks where there's nothing for miles except for the Walmart and one lady pushing a flatscreen in a trolley to the dodge ram she parked 600m away from the entrance so it won't get dinged by other car doors, because god forbid her utility vehicle show signs of wear.

Nevada - viva rock vegas (the flintstones). There's a salt lake here but NOT a salt lake city. That's somewhere else. I think there's motorsport here. NO WAIT THERE IS because i saw charles leclerc on the sphere on tv and he was so wide and i laughed so hard i choked on my own spit.

New Hampshire - What the fuck is New Hampshire that's not real. I thought it was like some beach suburb in New York state. What the fuck. Regardless. I bet you could pull up to the side of the road in New Hapshite and buy an avocado no questions asked. Probably like the USA's Byron Bay.

New Jersey - Everyone from here says it's bad. It makes me think of t shirts with a longer sleeve t shirt underneath and 2000s pop punk music. Gerard Way.

New Mexico - High School Musical is set in Albuquerque. High School Musical is also the only reason I can pronounce Albuquerque. This state is famous for High School Musical.

New York - She's talking over the rest of you and for what? Wall Street? Ugh. Kinda like the Melbourne of the USA.

North Carolina - I feel like cowbutch lesbians do numbers here for some reason. You could disappear into the hills with a woman in a tank top and assless chaps here if you were brave enough. Men do live here but they're treated like a new cast member on the fifth season of a sitcom, this one's for the girls.

North Dakota - Dakota is Carolina's femme girlfriend and they're in love.

Ohio - This is like that town in Cars that lightning mcqueen gets stuck in and the tourist cars are like oh we're only here because of a wrong turn. Yeah. You might find fireflies here though. Also Ohio is for Lovers or something.

Oklahoma - Swear word for Christians. Absolutely nothing happens here and if it does i feel like it involves chasing livestock.

Oregon - Prairies. This is where the Prairies are. Famous for the people who died while trying to be Not In Oregon.

Pennsylvania - Famous for The Office. And Dracula jokes. That's all i've got.

Rhode Island - Famous for winning Miss United States with the flaming batons routine in Miss Congeniality starring Sandra Bullock. Very small state. Possibly the smallest one but who's to say.

South Carolina - If north is for the lesbians, south is for the gays.

South Dakota - As above.

Tennessee - Country music and whiskey and line dancing, which is actually kinda hot when goth girls do it. Overall, Tennessee is the USA's answer to Gympie, which is a question that nobody asked. Overall i just think of the colour brown. Famous for Hayden Penterre. Penetentiary. Pendulum.

Texas - A South Australian would say Texas is famous for it's adorably small cattle farms. Lucky for me, i am not South Australian. This is the state that other states call redneck and racist to hide the fact that they are also redneck and racist, perhaps more so. Contains two of the main cities to name boys after. Dave Strider lives here. (Sorry for the Homestuck jump scare so late in the game.)

Utah - Salt Lake City. That bass pro shop monolith was here. In general i think of the colour orange. Home of the Hellmouth Sunbeams.

Vermont - Vermont is a state in the same way the spleen is an organ. Population: Zero.

Virginia - Is this not the same thing as Vermont?

Washington - Famous for Bella where the hell you been loca. Twin Peaks is probably set here idk i forgot all parts of the show that were not log lady. White House. Effervescent.

West Virginia - From the lyrics "Mountain mama. Take me home. Country road" we can determine that West Virginia has Mountains, Milfs, Homes, and Roads. I know nothing else about West Virginia.

Wisconsin - Wiscaaaansin. Whis-cahn-sin. There are definitely elks here. That 70's Show is set somewhere beneath the surface of this place. Population: grandparents and elk. I feel like you could get fucked up by a creature here if you're not careful. It's got trees and lakes and shit creatures love those. I think Yellowstone is somewhere around here.

Wyoming - Great lakes? Great lakes. This state is actually all lake. Idk. I like the name though, the verbiage of it all. Wyoming my way downtown. State flower is an empty wrapper blowing by down the street. Population: 800,000. Definitely a place you could go missing and never be seen again.

[itsbatman-butpoor-andmurderous]

when vacationing in florida:

tips from a born and raised floridian

wear (reef safe) sunscreen

this is a given y’all. if you’re out in the sun for longer than 10-15 minutes you need to have sunscreen on and re-apply every hour. let it soak in for about 30 minutes before you go into water. if you don’t you will get a nasty sunburn, and skin cancer isn’t fun either but it takes a lot of sunburns to get to that point. however, you can get sun poisoning from one really bad sunburn. sun poisoning, or photodermatitis, is a form of allergic contact dermatitis which is your skin having an allergic reaction to sun exposure. it can lead to swelling, difficulty breathing, burning sensations, an itchy red rash that looks like small blisters, skin peeling, nausea, and itchy brown/orange tinted blotches that mostly appear on your face/neck area and can stay there for days after the initial poising.

see the point on reef safe sunscreen to learn more about why you need to use reef safe sunscreen.

take your jewelry off before going in the ocean. sharks are attracted to jewelry, blood, and things like surfboard or boogie boards that make you look like a seal

sharks don’t eat people on purpose, they can’t see very well so they rely on their sense of smell, to smell blood, and their limited vision which mistakes shiny jewelry for shiny fish scales and boards for seals due to the similar shape. sharks do something called sensory biting, meaning they will bite you to see if you are food. don’t do things that make you look like food.

avoid swimming at night

during the day sharks tend to stay out past the sand bar, an area off the shore where sand has built up to a platform. however, at night they move closer to the shore, so try to avoid night swimming. and because the moon is out, the waves are always bigger and rougher.

stingray shuffle

the stingray shuffle is getting your feet buried slightly under the sand in the ocean and shuffling your feet aa you walk, hence the name. depending on what time of year you come it may be stingray season and it’s recommended to do this during that time to avoid getting stung.

be cautious of currents

currents can move you every which way and suddenly your 30 feet away from your set up on the sand. currents can also move you out to sea which can be extremely dangerous. so if you notice a tugging feeling or notice that your further away from your stuff, watch yourself to make sure you don’t stray to far away.

try not to shave the day of going into the water and try not to enter the water with open wounds

while oceans aren’t as bad as lakes when it comes to bacteria, they are still very bacteria filled and you can get an infection real quick. so shave a day or two before and make sure your wounds are closed because some infections can lead to rashes, bubbles, or even amputation.

check for red tide and research it

red tide isn’t talked about very often but it is disgusting. red tide is discolored sea water caused by toxic red dinoflagellates (microorganisms). it kills tons of sea life which causes said dead sea life to wash up on beaches and float in the water which attracts predators like sharks and big fish. it also releases toxins into the air which makes it hard to breathe, and for people with asthma or any other respiratory problems this can cause serious illness. the west coast of florida is dealing with some red tide right now if you want to research it.

try not to honk at people while driving

this is something taught in other southern states as well, and my parents taught it to me when i was learning to drive. if you honk at someone you are running the risk of being followed and shot. a lot of people have guns down here and they aren’t afraid to use them. now this will not happen every time you honk, i have been in cars where the driver has honked and nothing happened. but it’s better to be safe than sorry because some people don’t know how to handle their road rage.

prepare for the humidity

i know your weather app says that it’s 85 degrees but it feels like 93 when you go outside because of the humidity. that’s why florida people wear layers.

rain does not last as long here as it does in northern states

if it starts raining your day is not ruined. in florida , unless there is a hurricane or tropical storm, rain storms normally only last for like 20-30 minutes at a time. if there is a little group of them you will get spurts of rain and no rain for like an hour or two at most. when there are big storms they normally last for a couple hours, but we don’t get storms like that super often.

gator safety

something that it taught in all florida elementary schools, if an alligator is chasing you run in one direction for 10-15 feet, then make a hard turn in another direction and repeat (this is what we mean when we say running in zigzags, not like hopping side to side as you run), if an alligator has a grip on one of your limbs or someone else’s, plug your fingers or something else up it’s nose so it’s forced to open its mouth the breathe, and don’t touch gator babies, the mom can and will come for you.

shark safety

also something that is taught in all florida elementary schools, but shark safety is more common knowledge than gator safety. it a shark has a grip on you, punch them in the nose. it’s a sensitive point and they normally release you and swim away. as previously mentioned, sharks don’t like to eat people, they don’t think we taste good. so unless it’s starving sharks won’t try to eat a human that they can tell is a human. however if you don’t follow the previously stated shark safety tips, they may mistake you for a fish or seal.

unless you’re on a private beach, spots on the sand are first come first serve

just because you had a spot yesterday does not mean you have that spot for the rest of your vacation, that’s not how the beach works. you have to get there early if you want a specific spot.

don’t touch the manatees

manatees are an endangered species, meaning that you can not touch them. it’s illegal. that being said, if the manatee floats it’s happy round little self over to you and touches you then that’s fine, you can’t control what the manatee does. but if you actively swim towards and reach for the manatee and someone with a legal standing or a life guard sees you, you can get in trouble.

most sea life is not violent until provoked

manatees are not violent at all, they just float there, that’s why they’re endangered. but creatures like sharks and stingrays are not dangerous unless they think your there to fight or they mistake you for food. that’s why you stingray shuffle, because if you step on a stingray it will see you as a threat and sting you. and that’s why you take the shark prevention seriously so they don’t mistake you for food.

dolphin safety; admire from a distance

oh but dolphins are nice! wrong! dolphins are very dangerous creatures, just not in all the same ways that sharks are. they are one of the only creatures on the planet aside from humans who do malicious things knowing that they are malicious. dolphins at swim with experiences have given humans lacerations and broken bones. they are still predators and while it only happens rarely, dolphins do bite and attack people. dolphins are incredibly smart, strong, and fast. if they feel threatened they will swim at you full force and hit you with their head/body as hard as they possibly can. one woman named valerie ryan was hit by a dolphin which resulted in six spinal fractures, a damaged lung, and ptsd. dolphins are civil for the most part, but they are astonishingly smart and strong, and will attack if provoked or threatened, so it’s better to avoid close contact with them and admire from a distance or from a boat.

get reef safe sunscreen

all spray sunscreens and quite a few lotions contain toxic chemicals that are contributing to killing reefs. australian gold makes botanical reef safe sunscreen with spfs from 30 to 70, and they make a spray with the smallest amount of the toxic chemical that they can if you desperately need a spray. get reef safe sunscreen. it doesn’t matter if you’re not swimming in the ocean all run off from showers, sinks, toilets, and other water systems ends up in the ocean. so even if you spend the day in the city or at a theme park, if you come home a wash off that sunscreen it will end up in the ocean.

theme park tips

bring a mini battery powered or chargeable fan or you will wish that you did. watch the weather, if it looks like it’s going to rain head to a restaurant and eat lunch or dinner, by the time you’re done the rain will most likely be over. do what you want to do the most or what normally has the longest line right when the park opens, the line will be the shortest then. download the park apps to monitor the wait times for rides and to see if any are closed, delayed, or virtual line only. if you plan on buying souvenirs do so an 2-3 hours before the park closes, this way you won’t have to carry the bags around all day and you can beat the closing crowd. try to plan your route ahead of time so that you won’t be walking to and fro because someone wanted to do this ride that’s on the other side of the park and after that someone else wants to do a ride that’s right by the place you were before, if you don’t your feet will hurt like a mf at the end of the day and you’ll waste time walking all over the place. bring a travel sized deodorant, baby wipes, hand sanitizer, period products, and anything else you may need that they might not sell.

theme parks with kids (courtesy of my mother)

bring your own snacks and water (you’re allowed). once again, mini fan. frog togs are another way to keep kids cool without having to do much cause you just like put it on their neck. find a rest spot, my mom said that when she and my dad would take us to theme parks when we were little they had designated rest spots where they would sit and let us nap, eat snacks, and cool off in the shade. put a bead bracelet on your child with your name, their name, and your number on it if your worried that they may get lost. make reservations, hungry kids are no fun, and if they have to sit and wait for a restaurant for a long time they will get hangry, making a reservation around the time that they normally get hungry is a way to avoid this. bring a change of clothes.

think that’s all, and enjoy your vacation lol

[henrikvanderswoon]

Secrets Can Kill Playthrough Reactions

Yanno, I guess I'm just going to do this cause it'll keep everything in one place, but also I don't want to clog everyone's dashboards with all my little thoughts, so here goes:

I love how we just have the option to go to the pharmacy from the get-go. Like imagine playing for the VERY first time and having no idea why you'd ever have to go to a drugstore's sketchy back alleyway in this game.

Paseo Del Mar having manatees as their mascot is the most Florida(TM) thing I've ever seen.

Which is good, because as a Floridian the rest of the atmospheres in this game don't feel stereotypically like Florida, but like... that's probably a good thing.

Well... the drug theme is pretty Florida. But that's also pretty EVERYWHERE. And Aunt Eloise's house really makes me think of my grandmother's, but that's all older people, right?

If Daryl's flirting made me want to punch him, Hulk's fucking introduction makes me want to push him into a locker and steal his wallet.

"Do YOU know what DESTINY has brought you today?? Hector 'Hulk' Sanche--" Shut up.

The fuckin "Dream Symbols" book in the library has purple letters that spell out: "Don't Run Nancy." And I know that's for us as the players but imagine if Nancy could register that shit I would lose my mind.

I love how every piece of paper nancy can look at spells out some hint we need. It's so extra.

Headcanon that Jake's ghost is leaving these messages in the fuckin menus and fliers cause he wants Nancy to solve his murder. Now THAT'S a game I would play.

Cartoon OG Hal looks like my sister's boyfriend and I'll never be able to unseen it. FUCK.

"A murder was committed here last night. Everyone is under a lot of stress." "STRESS??" Nancy, WHY are you asking that, obviously people are gonna be stressed, a MAN is DEAD.

There is literally NOTHING subtle in the slightest about Nancy blatantly walking around and asking everyone if they know the combination to Jake's locker. As if there isn't a sign on it that says, "Don't bloody touch this locker, for reals."

I'm shocked Nancy doesn't get her ass tattled on.

"Usually, Paseo Del Mar High is really quiet and boring. Today, it's totally out of control." I know these are after school hours but Connie there's literally 3 of you here.

As much as I hate all the flirting, boy would I love it if Connie was the one to flirt with Nancy. "We girls gotta stick together." Yes, please 😏

Bess' voice... what IS that???

George's too. They sound like they're both under a spell and having the words put into their mouths by a machine. It's so unsettling.

NED TOO WHAT THE FUCK.

555-DRUG is the funniest phone number I've ever seen in my life.

"AYYYE, THIS IS TONY'S EHPIZZA. LEAVE-AH ME A MESSAGE!" What the fuck.

I wanted to know what would happen if I dialed the police headquarters number left on the newspaper in Jake's locker, and a man answered and said: "This is Detective Dobronski. Nancy, quit playing with that phone and get back to work. You've got a murder to solve." I SHRIEKED.

Okay. I'm hungry so I'm gonna make dinner and come back lmao.

[thismightbeaterribleidea]

Accidental Snowbirding

So I went to Florida and accidentally became a snowbird. I drove south in September with no real timeframe for anything in mind, and I ended up staying on the Gulf coast north of Tampa (Pasco County) for almost three months, minus a couple of weeks I was in Georgia.

Some friends have asked me how the new, nomadic life is going, and I tell them that it hasn’t really felt that nomadic. I’ve enjoyed being close to my friend Ron — I had a regular rotation of several campgrounds, none of them more than half an hour from his place. It reminded me of the decade-plus ago when we both lived in Denver, in old, cheap apartments within walking distance of each other. A friend calls and says “do you want to come over?” and you just go over. It’s lovely. We both got into paddleboarding (more on that later) and explored some rivers. We even took an airbnb trip to the Smokies and northern Alabama before the pandemic escalated. So it’s been interesting and good, if different from the types of images that motivated me to buy this big-ass van (wilderness, solitude, aspen groves, desert mesas).

Here’s what I remember from the last few months:

A cotton-candy-pink bird forages on a shoreline and it is so quiet that you can hear its three-clawed feet pattering in the mud. Ninety minutes later we are scarfing down fried chicken in the car in a crowded parking lot.

In the trailer park, people drive golf carts around in loops: maybe this passes for exercise, or maybe they are hoping to run into someone to talk to.

Until November, I sweat and sweat and sweat, and then it cools off enough for me to run in the morning and it’s glorious. 

During the day, there is constant traffic and the lights are always red. There are a lot of billboards, all promising different things, but the one that makes us angry is the one that says “Jesus promises stability.”

I spend the night at a trailer park and the ladies in the office are sweet and efficient and wearing masks. But the spot I’m assigned is across from a mobile home with one of those flags that is half the U.S. flag and half the Confederate flag, and although my privilege probably keeps me safe here, I keep running through the equations with slightly different variables: who would be safe in this spot, in this trailer park/this county/this state/this country, and under what circumstances? What could make all of us safer? And the people who chose to pay for and display that absurdity of a flag, why is that flag the story they tell themselves? And what is the topography of the shared responsibility for all of this bullshit?

We paddle the Hillsborough River and see no other boaters but two alligators. One is basking on a log, and when I turn my head for a second it drops into the water with a massive splash: one moment there was a six-foot alligator; the next moment there was nothing but ripples. It was that fast. My friend decides he will not paddle here alone.

I see live oaks that have Spanish moss hanging from their branches, sure — but they’re also covered in lichens, and on the horizontal branches there are carpets of multiple kinds of moss and clusters of foot-tall ferns. It’s a whole ecosystem in one tree.

I’m driving “home” (most frequent campground) late one night and I am alone on a very dark road. In my headlights, I see a human figure in the middle of my lane, facing directly at me. I think: goblin! But it is a human person. I swerve into the other lane in case he moves. But he doesn’t move a muscle. He is in a half-crouch with his hands on his knees. I catch a glimpse of him in profile as I pass: his face is set in a rictus, jaw clenched. He is still staring straight ahead, unblinking, as if he hasn’t even seen me.

I call Ron just to reassure myself that I haven’t slipped out of the real human world and into someplace else.

“Oh my God,” he says. “But no, you’re still in the real world. There’s a lot of meth around here. He’s not a demon or anything. It’s just Florida.” He is wearing a dark sweatshirt and standing in the dark on a dark road; what if he gets hit? I call the police and I hate that to this day I still wonder if that was the right decision.

We get into paddleboarding. Ron already has an inflatable paddleboard, and I buy one with money I should be saving for things like van insulation or the loose crown on my lower left molar that is already living on borrowed time. But the paddleboard is amazing. Previously, I hadn’t gotten it: why stand when you could sit? I’m lazy and I have crappy feet; I hate standing. But this isn’t regular standing. It’s walking-on-water standing. In our favorite river, the Weeki Wachee, you can see all kinds of things from a paddleboard that it’s harder to see in a kayak, just because of the angle. On a paddleboard, you look straight down and there’s a fish striped like a zebra, an old pine log submerged ten feet down in the clear water, a scurrying blue crab, a bed of rippled sand.

We start at the public park and paddle up against a stiff current. Twice, we get to the three-mile mark and there is the same black-and-white cormorant in the same tree both times. We are familiar with the fact that if you time it right, so that you get back to the park as late as possible without actually paddling in the dark, and the crowds taper off so you have the river to yourself, the deepest pools are turquoise on our way upriver and viridian on our way down.

There are sometimes manatees on the river. In this part of the world, manatees are THE charismatic megafauna. And they are charismatic as hell. Once we are out late, a couple miles up the river with no one else around, and we see a mother and baby grazing on eelgrass in shallow water. We watch for minutes, mesmerized. The baby is tiny for a manatee: about the size of a Corgi. It must be very, very new. There is another manatee that I’m pretty sure I see several times on different days: it is very plump, with three pink slash marks across its back. We get to the point where, if there is a throng of other boaters stopped near where manatees are feeding, we don’t try to stop and see the manatees. We’ve seen them before, and we’ll see them again, when we don’t have to worry about the people and their kayaks and canoes in the current.

The last time I went to the Weeki Wachee, I went alone. The leaves were turning, because the calendar’s close-to-Christmas is Florida’s fall. I hadn’t ever planned on seeing a blazing orange maple next to tropical blue water, but it happened. Close-knit formations of big, soft gray, doe-eyed fish darted under my feet, and at the appointed time the water started turning dark green. In one of the final bends just upriver from the park, there is a deep spot called Hospital Hole. As I paddled down towards it, I saw one manatee, then another break the surface to breathe. I drifted over the hole, away from the manatees near the surface, and I saw the outline of another one eight or ten feet down against the very dark blue of very deep water.

The Weeki Wachee is a very narrow river, usually not more than thirty feet across and often only twenty. It’s also shallow, four or five feet on average, twelve where the current has carved a deep groove or pocket. Hospital Hole is at one of the river’s widest points, I’d guess maybe 150 feet from bank to bank. The hole itself — technically a sinkhole, but with a couple of small springs feeding into it — is only about 30 or 40 feet wide, but 140 feet deep. It goes down so far that there are different layers of water: freshwater, saltwater, a layer that is anoxic, another layer that is so full of hydrogen sulfide that divers can smell the rotten-egg odor even though they’re breathing compressed air. I read online that the manatees often go to Hospital Hole to sleep at night. The sinkhole-spring, like a big deep pocket, gives them space to stay together and still spread out. They can sink down below where they have to worry about boat engines or curious paddle boarders or whatever else manatees worry about. Every so often, they come up to breathe, then sink down again. Respire, rest, repeat.

It’s 7:17 p.m. as I am writing this, so they’re probably there right now.

***

So that’s Florida! Other, more nuts-and-bolts things that have happened include...

I installed lights and outlets. This was a big project and a big deal, since it means that I can have things like a fan (to keep me from sweating to death in the summer), an electric cooler (a.k.a. mini-mini-fridge) for things like vegetables and hummus and cheese and cold boozy beverages, and, well, lights at night that aren’t a harsh blue-white solar lantern, which is what I was using before October, when I made these improvements. Anything electrical is always a little scary; I’m nervous every time I have to go into the breaker box and always surprised when I’m able to touch it without shocking myself. I also had an extremely minimal understanding of how to splice wires together and how to connect all these lights to each other, to the dimmer switch, and to the breaker box. This involved a lot of googling, and even though the DIY van blogs seemed to say that installing lights would take half a day, it took me the better part of two days. But it’s done, and I’m very happy with it. Fiat lux, motherf***er!

My new favorite public agency is the Southwest Florida Water Management District. Occasionally, if I’d had a few drinks at Ron’s house, I spent the night parked in his driveway. Sometimes I stayed in private RV parks. (This was mostly driven by the need to empty the van’s port-a-pot once a week or so — public dump stations are not easy to find in this area of Florida; the closest was about an hour away.) But mostly, I stayed at campground operated by the SWFWMD. These campgrounds are in big tracts of forested, marshy, watery land, and they are great primitive campgrounds that cost $0. There’s no water, no showers, no other fancy campground amenities, but there is usually one outhouse, and each campsite has a picnic table and a fire pit. They’re basic and beautiful.

My favorite campground is called the Serenova Tract. It’s about 15 minutes from Ron’s house, and the campground is in a bunch of pines and live oaks. Horses are allowed, and on one of the last weekends I spent there, several people with horses stayed overnight and hung up Christmas lights. The next morning, they were joined by a dozen other horses and riders who all went for a morning trail ride through the woods. I was insanely jealous.

The other SWFWMD campground I stayed at was called Cypress Creek. It’s a little farther from Ron’s place than Serenova, so it was my second choice when Serenova was full but my van’s shitter wasn’t. It’s a beautiful spot, with tons of big pines. But right now I’m a little wary of it because the last time I stayed there I woke up from a dead sleep at 4:51 a.m. when I heard someone singing and talking to themselves. (The campground had been totally empty when I got there and still was as far as I could see.) It was probably just someone who had come in on foot and was drinking because it was cold (40 degrees) outside, but it was still a bit unnerving. 

I also have a favorite RV park. I was thinking that my relationship with these places would be strictly utilitarian, and it still mostly is. But out of the three RV parks that I’ve stayed at, there’s one small one called Suncoast that I actually kind of enjoyed: even though I only went there occasionally, the three staff people remembered me when I called or came in, and they often gave me a discount on their regular rates because I don’t use any electricity. They (both staff and most guests) also seem to be taking pretty good pandemic precautions. (I actually saw someone get kicked out of the office when they tried to come in without a mask, something that I’ve never seen in any other business since March!) The place has nice big pine trees, and by the office there’s a table where people put free food that they aren’t using, or occasionally two-day-old bread that someone got from Publix for free. The last time I was there, some people had decorated their campers and RVs with lights and it was kind of charming. I still heavily prefer to be out in the woods by myself and not spending any money, but I’m glad I found someplace pleasant for my once-a-week-or-so sewer/water needs.

I figured out how to stay warm while sleeping. This is a bigger deal than it sounds because a) I haven’t insulated the van yet, so at night, it’s only a few degrees warmer than whatever the temperature is outside, and b) I’m a very cold sleeper. Florida is SUPER WARM compared to any other place I’ve ever lived, but in December, it started getting a little chilly at night: down into the fifties, then the forties, then, a few nights ago, 30 degrees. I’ve camped in near-freezing or slightly-below-freezing temperatures before, but sometimes it wasn’t very comfortable — even with good long underwear and socks and a hat and a zero-degree-rated sleeping bag. But I’ve figured out a system for my bed that uses four blankets, layered like a licorice allsort: a quilt, a heavy wool blanket, another quilt, and a faux-wool blanket. If it gets below 40, I can add my zero-degree down sleeping bag and be not just comfortable but actively toasty, like a baking croissant.

Unrelatedly, I’ve been having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.

I’ve found that my life in a van is basically like my life has been anywhere else. I work. I sleep. I stay up late reading things on the internet when I should be sleeping. Sometimes I go running or do yoga (while trying not to bump into the cabinet or kick the front console or hit the ceiling). Sometimes I do fun things, like paddleboarding or talking to friends. I make goals and plans and don’t follow through on them, except when very very occasionally I do. But when I’m looking up van stuff online, I often run across photos of people who are #selfemployed #vanlife and the photos of them working are:

A woman is seated propped up on pillows in the bed in the back of her van. The doors are open, framing a view of the cerulean sea, so that you can practically smell the gentle breeze blowing over the dunes. She has a laptop on her lap and is looking thoughtfully out to sea while a cup of tea steeps on a tray that is on the white coverlet of her bed.

Or

A man is seated at the dinette in the back of his van. He has a laptop, a French press, a mug of coffee, and a plate with two scones on it on the table. The table, and in fact the whole dinette with its two upholstered benches, would be at home on a small luxury yacht, and it’s the kind of dinette that you make into a bed at night. The astute, intent expression on the man’s face give the viewer to understand that he is competent and disciplined and never stays up two hours past his bedtime because he’s too lazy to lower the dinette table and rearrange the cushions and put on all his sheets and blankets. We are also given to understand that the electrical system in his van would have no problems handling the power drain of a bean grinder, even though he is clearly parked in the high Rockies — again, with the back doors open, the better to take in the late spring air and see the fresh green of the aspen trees — and it’s often cloudy. Lastly, we are given to understand that he baked those scones himself, because when he’s not working, hiking, lumberjacking, or otherwise living his best life, he enjoys unwinding by baking bread and pastries. (Not in the van; don’t be silly! He bakes outside, over a wood fire.)

(A tangent: Why do so many people have their van doors open in photos I see online? Do they only stay in places with no bugs? If I tried that in Florida, or even Maryland or Colorado half the year, I’d be awake half the night swatting at mosquitoes and/or flies.)

In contrast, a photo of me being self-employed in a van would look like:

A woman is sprawled in an ungainly fashion on her narrow bunk. Her laptop is braced by her lower ribs and propped up with a pillow placed over her gut. The pillow has a cat on it. The windows of the van are covered in silver bubble-wrap, so very little light gets in. Absolutely no doors are open, because the van is parked behind a Dunkin Donuts so the woman can get free wifi and not burn through all the data on her phone plan. She takes a break to heat up a can of Campbell’s soup on an alcohol stove, adding a handful of dehydrated mixed vegetables, to be healthy. As she stirs the soup, she gazes contemplatively out the windshield towards the adjacent parking lot, where there is an IHOP. #vanlife

Or

A woman is sitting in the passenger seat of her van with her feet on the dashboard and her laptop on her lap. Beside her in the cupholder is a steaming Hydroflask full of the cheapest tea she could buy at Publix. The van is parked in a grove of live oaks. Spanish moss sways gently in the morning breeze. Behind the woman, in the dark recesses of the van, sets of clothes are hanging: leggings and a shirt, still sweaty, by the side doors, a bathing suit over the sink, a t-shirt and shorts for sleeping in by the rear cabinet. Several kitchen towels are draped on the driver’s seat and on the dashboard because the cab leaks above the sun visors when it rains, and even though she’s tried caulking it three times, she still can’t get it to stop. #vanlife

The good thing, though, is that I’m still getting work and making a living. I can do it someplace that’s safe, without having to risk my life to do it. And I’m getting paid a fair hourly wage. But then the very terrible thing is that everyone should be able to say what I just said, but so many people can’t: they’re not making a real living through their work, they have to risk their lives to do it, and they’re not getting paid a fair wage.

(Brief interlude as I stare at the ceiling angrily.)

***

Here’s what I’m doing next: I left Pasco County on the 16th. I’ll be in what I think of as “traveling quarantine” until the 30th, staying in a national forest near Jacksonville. (With a couple of stops at state parks to refill water, empty the port-a-pot, and maybe take a real shower.) I’ll be in Maryland on New Year’s Eve and will stay at my parents’ while I insulate the van, build interior walls, and do a bunch of other stuff so that I can call it (mostly) finished. Then I’m thinking of going to New Mexico and spending late winter/early spring there… parked on top of a mesa… sipping a cup of French-press coffee on my white coverlet while I thoughtfully gaze out the open doors of my van… (I really would like to park on top of a mesa though.)

[saveyourblood]

Stolen Dance | Ch. 6

Summary: “Maybe this was a pipe dream, a delusion you’d soon awake from or a phase you’d outgrow. You didn’t really care. For a brief moment in time, you were in love. That’s what you chose to care about. That what you made matter.”

The one where you’re a paramedic, he’s an FBI agent, and the time you spend together is borrowed.

Notes: Thought you could escape me? Never.

Word Count: 5.1k

Song: The Enemy - Andrew Belle

Warnings: Normal CM warnings. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

_____________________

“What are you afraid of?”

You looked up. Spencer was laying beside you, his arms crossed over his chest as he laid on his side. You had one hand under your head, the other resting on the mattress in the space between you and him.

“Jean shorts,” you said in a faux scared voice. “And crocs. And when you put them together…”  You shuddered.

Spencer scoffed with a smile, which made you giggle. 

“Come on,” he pressed. “You served in the military. You lost a parent. You got deployed, and you came back alive. What scares you?”

You sighed in consideration.

Fear was something you hadn’t thought about in awhile. Loss, yes. Loneliness, absolutely.  Anger passed your mind once or twice. But fear? You couldn’t remember the last time you were afraid for yourself.

“Getting attached,” you answered quietly. “I’m afraid of commitment. Well, not actually. I’m afraid of losing the people I love. It got worse when my dad died, but, I don’t know… I think it’s always been there.”

“How do you deal with it?”

“I don’t love. I care, I feel, I consider. But I try my hardest not to love anything, because if I lose it, it doesn’t hurt as bad.” 

“You can’t just decide to not love,” Spencer argued softly.

You smiled sadly. “You’d be surprised what I do to keep myself safe.”

“You mean to keep yourself from hurting?”

You shrugged. “Same thing.” 

You stepped out of the room, wiping your eyes and sucking in a breath. You wandered back down a few of the station’s hallways, eventually finding Hotch.  He dismissed the officer he was speaking to. 

“What’s going on?” He asked as he approached you.

“I’m just slowing Spencer down,” you lied, forcing out a laugh. “Ya know, photographic memory and all. I was wondering if I would be more useful somewhere else?” 

Hotch studied you for a moment, then nodded slowly. “You can observe the interrogation. You’ll be sent to the field if Missy Dewald shows up.” 

“You mean if her body shows up?”

“We don’t know how Harris’s partner will react to the news of his betrayal,” Hotch said. “It’s possible that he lets Dewald go in an act of defiance.”

“It’s also possible that he kills her a lot sooner than any of the other girls.”

“That is a possibility,” Hotch replied, before dismissing himself. 

You ran a hand through your hair. Cases like this sucked. 

“That’s her,” The detective said. “That’s Missy Dewald. I looked her father in the eye and told him I’d find her alive.” 

She looked identical to all the other victims: young, conventionally attractive, and strangled to death. Missy also had ligature marks around her wrists, which was seen on Harris’s other victims. What wasn’t seen, however, was the bite mark on her shoulder. 

“So in the time we’ve been here, she went missing and turned up dead,” Emily thought aloud. “Do you think Harris dumped the body before he was taken into custody?”

Rossi shook his head. “The M.E. says she’s been dead for several hours.”

“Harris has been in custody for the last several hours,” you said, pointing out the obvious.

“So you think we have the wrong guy?” The detective asked.

“He’s communicating with someone,” Derek said instead. “He’s confident they won’t turn against him.”

“Like an affair?”

“Like a partner,” Derek corrected. 

“The only way we can break ground with Harris is to find out who his partner is,” you said.

Derek nodded in agreement. “Let’s go break some ground, then.”

You followed him back to the SUV; Emily and Rossi were staying behind to collect evidence. While getting into the vehicle and pulling onto the road, you were quiet.

“Hopefully Reid knows more by the time we get back,” He said conversationally.

You nodded.

“Hey, are you okay?” Derek asked. His tone was questioning, but a hint of worry seeped through.

You faked a smile. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Normally, you jump at the idea of working with Spencer,” he said. “But today, you looked for a reason not to. Why is that?”

“I’m not useful to him today,” you said nonchalantly. “His brain works faster than mine.” 

“That’s never stopped you before,” he chuckled. 

Derek glanced over. You said nothing. He sighed.

“Look, I’m not supposed to tell you this, but… He likes you.”

You raised your eyebrows in feign surprise. “He told you that?”

“He didn’t have to,” Derek replied. “I know that kid better than he knows himself sometimes.”

You actually snorted. You highly doubted the authenticity of that claim. 

“Come on, don’t act like you don’t like him too,” Derek chuckled. “We all see the way you two interact. There’s something going on.”

‘You have no idea’, you thought bitterly.

“Even if I wanted to, it’s not like I could do anything about it,” you mumbled. “Dating someone on the team is considered a conflict of interest.” 

“Like rules ever stopped you,” he teased.

“Look, can you drop it?” you snapped. “We’re not in middle school — we’re grown-ass adults with grown-ass feelings and problems.” You closed your eyes and sighed in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Derek. I shouldn’t have snapped. It’s been a rough couple of days, and I’m… I’m sorry.” 

“Nolan?” Derek asked simply, gently.

“Yeah,” you agreed, then looked out your window. If only it were that simple.

“You know we’ve got your back, right Y/N?” Derek said. “We never would have let anything happen to you.” 

“I know,” you agreed. “That’s not what’s bothering me.”

“Then what is?”

You turned back to look at him, a sad smile on your face. “I spent 18 months in an active war zone. I watched men be turned to nothing but pulp by IEDs. But that’s not even the worst part. The worst part was treated Syrian children who got caught in the crossfire. They came in on the brink of death, and they left on crutches, missing one or both legs. They were nothing but collateral damage to men who couldn’t seem to agree. It’s such bullshit.”

“Did Nolan bring it all back up?”

“Him among other things,” you said.

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m all ears,” Derek promised.

“Thanks.” 

“His partner is a biter,” Rossi said, showing the crime scene photos to Reid.

“They’ve never done that before,” Spencer said, observing the red teeth marks on Missy Dewald. 

“He might be going back to what’s comfortable now that Harris isn’t around,” Rossi agreed.

“So you think he’s a repeat offender?” you asked, unable to help yourself.

Spencer briefly looked up at you, then cleared his throat. “It’s possible. Garcia should run dental records, see if the mark matches anything on-file.” 

“I’ll get on that,” you said, silently dismissing yourself from the conversation.

“Turns out, there’s a lot of sick pups in Central Florida,” Penelope said through the phone. “Today’s marks don’t match William Harris, but they do match a rape that was reported earlier this year in Manatee County.”

“That’s great; you found a match,” Emily said.

“Yeah, the teeth belong to the same person, but they’ve never been arrested, so I can’t cross reference,” Garcia said.

“What about the victim?” Hotch asked.

“Connie Meyers — she still lives in the area,” she answered.

“Send Prentiss the address; Y/L/N, go with,” Hotch ordered.

“They’re gonna ask who you are,” Connie said nervously. “They don’t know.” 

For that reason exactly, you left your bomber jacket in the car and borrowed the plain one Emily was wearing. For the first time since working in the BAU, you didn’t feel like your identity was being screamed off of a rooftop.

“We’re just buying flowers,” you assured. You pointed to a bouquet. “Those daisies are nice.”

“In the report, it says your attacker knew what he wanted,” Emily said in a low voice. “That he was confident?”

“More like a control freak,” Connie said. “He wore a mask, but I could tell he was white. He choked me. It took a long time for the bruises to go away. If the lighting is right, it’s like I can still see his hand. It’s nothing compared to the bite marks, though. They’re scars now.”

“I know what that feels like,” you said softly, which gained both Connie and Emily’s attention. “I’m sorry.”

Connie nodded, then grabbed the bouquet you asked for. “I’ll go wrap these for you.”

“Thank you.”

When Connie was out of earshot, you turned to Emily. “Are we seriously talking two alpha males?” 

“It seems so.” 

“The man we’re looking for is just like your father,” you said, taking a seat next to Andrea, William’s daughter. “He’s smart, strong confident. He might have a family also.”

“Oh, so now you’re going to accuse someone else’s dad of murder?” Andrea asked.

You let out a breath. “I know this is hard, Andrea, but —”

“Do you?” She asked. “Do you know?”

“Yes,” you said calmly. “I know. He’s your dad: you don’t want to believe he can do wrong. But Andrea — and I mean this in the nicest way possible — this isn’t about you. Really, it’s not even about your father. It’s about the girls that are being kidnapped, raped, and murdered. Don’t you think their families deserve… something? Some kind of closure?”

She didn’t say anything.

“We think the accomplice has done this before,” you continued. “He’s been described as a white man in his 40s. He’s someone you might recognize, and there’s a good chance he’ll check up on you.” 

“Why would he do that?” “He’s worried about your dad, but he has no way to contact him. You and your mother are the next best thing.”

Once again, she said nothing.

You stood up. “Stay safe, Andrea,” you said before walking off to find Emily. 

You walked into your apartment, throwing your bag and jacket onto the floor. Normally, you were neater and more organized, but today, you were exhausted. You got back from a case a couple hours before having to attend lectures in the morning. You thought coffee replaced the blood flowing through your veins. 

You walked into the kitchen, getting a glass of water before turning in for the night. When you turned around, you noticed something sitting on your kitchen counter.

Pink, purple, and blue daisies filled a vase you didn’t buy. A white note on top stuck out. 

‘The apartment needs some decoration.

-Spencer.’

You bit your lip with a smile. 

The case ended with William and his partner, who turned out to be his neighbor, behind bars. Andrea and her mother were in shambles, but no one expected otherwise. You felt bad for them both. They made the investigation more difficult, yes, but it wasn’t intentional. They loved him. They didn’t want to believe he was capable of evil. 

“Great work everyone,” Hotch praised as the team filtered back into the office. “Go home, get some sleep.”

Everyone went to their desks, including you. You were starting to regret picking the one next to Spencer.

“Y/N,” Hotch said, catching your attention. “Can I speak to you before you leave?” 

You nodded, swallowing. “Sure.” 

He nodded before walking upstairs. 

You gathered  your things, refusing to look at anyone. By the time you ascended the stairs, you thought Spencer’s gaze would burn a hole through your skin. You slipped into Hotch’s office before that could happen.

“Take a seat,” Hotch said, already in the chair behind his desk.

You did as you were told.

“What happened today?” He asked.

You frowned. “Did I do something wrong, sir?”

“Reid told me you were the one to discover two authors in the blog posts,” he said instead. “Why didn’t you mention that?”

You shrugged. “It didn’t seem important.”

“It didn’t cross your mind when you asked to be reassigned?” He inquired. 

You bit your lip. 

“Since you joined the BAU, you and Spencer have made an excellent team,” Hotch continued. “I’d hate to see that relationship ruined.”

“It isn’t,” you assured. “Just because I want to work with other people doesn’t mean I hate Spencer. I have other people to learn from, is all.”

Hotch studied you for a moment. “It’s okay to confide in people, Y/N. It’s okay if you confide in someone on this team. In… unique circumstances, HR should be informed, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Okay, I’m gonna stop you right there,” you said. “What happened between Spencer and I started before I worked here. It started before you even offered me a job. But it’s over now. We were together. We aren’t now. We’re adults: we know how to be civil. We know how to put personal issues aside and focus on the job at hand. You have nothing to worry about. So am I good to go?” 

He nodded. 

“Great,” you muttered, standing up and walking to the door.

“Y/N?” Hotch said. 

You turned around. 

“You went to war, and 3 weeks ago, a man held a gun to your head,” Hotch stated. “If you need help, you should ask for it.”

“I’m okay,” you said. “I’ve lived through worse.” 

“Who is this?”

You smiled, turning away from your record player. “Lord Huron.”

You began swaying to the music. You offered Spencer your hand. He shook his head. 

“I don’t dance,” he said. 

Ignoring his protests, you grabbed both of his hands and slowly pulled him to his feet. “It’s a long night, can I spend it with you? ‘Cause you’re oh so pretty when you stand on the edge…”

When the refrain began to play, you extended your arms outwards, still holding Spencer’s hands, and pulled yourself back in. Spencer caught your drift, spinning you a few times. You giggled, throwing your head back. 

The two of you continued to dance like that; focusing more on the feeling and moving to the beat versus worrying what the two of you looked like. Once or twice, you even reached your hand up to twirl Spencer. He of course obliged, which made you erupt with laughter. 

As the song died down, you rested your arms on his shoulders. His hands found your waist, and the two of you swayed to the sound. When the song was over, he pulled you into a kiss. 

You woke up from your dream. It wasn’t a nightmare, and yet, you cried yourself back to sleep. 

8 AM sharp, you were sitting in the briefing room with the rest of the team. You sat at one end of the table, while Spencer occupied the other.

“10-year-old Sammy Sparks of Lafayette Parish, Louisiana showed up to school this morning covered in blood,” Garcia said. 

A few pictures appeared on the monitor behind her; a young boy, no older than ten, had blood spatters across his hands and one side of his face.

“When the police got to his house, they discovered that his parents, Charlie and Allison Sparks, are missing.” 

“Forensics show that at least one of them was injured,” Derek said.

“That amount of blood? I’m guessing gunshot,” you added.

“Has there been a ransom demand?” Emily asked.

Garcia shook her head. “None whatsoever.” 

Rossi frowned. “Then why call in the BAU?” 

“New Orleans Police is hoping we can interview Sammy,” Hotch answered.

“No one has talked to the witness yet?” Spencer asked in confusion. 

“Sammy’s autistic,” Hotch clarified. “Getting him to talk won’t be easy. I’m hoping you and Y/N will be able to get through to him.” 

You looked up from the file. “You want me to talk to Sammy?”

Everyone but Spencer looked at you.

“Is that a problem?” Hotch inquired.

“Of course not,” you said immediately. “It’s just… I’m not a profiler, and I don’t have much experience when it comes to autism. I don’t understand how I’m any more qualified than anyone else on the team.” 

The team shared a look. 

“Who’s gonna tell her?” Emily said.

You frowned. “Tell me what?” 

“Y/N, you’re amazing with kids,” Garcia said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“...I don’t understand.”

“Are you kidding?” JJ chuckled. “Angel, Katie, Jeremy… you might have more maternal instinct than I do.” 

“What? That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed.

“We can finish this debate on the jet,” Hotch intervened. “Wheels up in 30.” 

You and Spencer were led into a private room in the police station. You saw Sammy sitting on the couch, a pad of paper in his hand. He used crayons to draw the same two lines over and over again.

“Hi Sammy,” Spencer greeted warmly. “I’m Dr. Spencer Reid. What are you drawing?” 

The police officer that showed you in set his hand on Sammy’s arm. He immediately screamed and lurched back. He then began to rock back and forth in his seat. 

“Some autistic kids don’t respond well to touch,” you explained. The officer merely dismissed himself from the room, silently acknowledging that this situation was beyond him.

“It’s possible that witnessing his parents’ abduction pushed him into emotional overload and he shut down,” Spencer said in a low voice.

“Could be why he’s drawing the same thing over and over again,” you agreed. “Or, maybe he’s trying to tell us something.” 

“Sammy,” Spencer said, taking a seat on the coffee table opposite of the couch. “We’re looking for your mom and dad. Did ‘L’ take them?”

Sammy, still holding the crayon, lifted his hand into the air. He began making an ‘L’ motion with his hand. 

You excused yourself from the room, fishing your phone out of your pocket. 

“Go for Garcia.”

“Hey, Penn,” you greeted. “I need you to run a list of everyone that associated with the Sparks family — focus on anyone who’s first or last name starts with an ‘L’.”

“I have run every ‘L’ I can find, think of, or make up in my giant, magic head, and nothing fits,” Garcia said.

You, Hotch, Spencer, and Derek all stood around a table in the police station. You were on a video call with Garcia, as she said she had news to share with everyone. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the news you wanted to hear.

“Have you found Sammy’s next of kin?” Hotch asked. 

“Only by name. Charlie has a sister named Elizabeth that was last reported residing in Mont Belvieu, Tejas. But she’s not responding to calls or email.” 

“Elizabeth could stand for Liz or Lizzie,” Spencer said. 

“Could be where he’s getting the letter ‘L’ from,” you nodded in agreement. “We need to find her, and we need to find her fast.”

“I’ll find her so fast that the world will reverse rotation and time will bend backwards. Hello,” Garcia rattled before signing off. 

While Spencer and the rest of the team explored leads on the parents, you decided to sit with Sammy and see if you could make some headway. 

“Hey, Sammy,” you said, taking a seat next to him on the couch. You were sure to leave a decent amount of space between the two of you. “My name is Y/N. I was in here earlier with my friend Spencer. Do you remember that?”

Sammy continued to draw his picture, which now seemed to consist of stars that looked like asterisks.

“I love your drawings,” you praised. “They have great color.”

You picked up one of his previous drawings, a sheet that was covered with ‘L’s. 

“What does this one mean, Sammy?” you asked.

Sammy glanced at the paper you were holding. He inhaled sharply and began to rock back and forth.

“Okay, it’s okay,” you said, setting down the paper. “You’re okay, Sammy. You’re safe.”

When he settled  back down, you noticed that Sammy was tapping his fingers in a particular pattern. You observed him for a moment before it clicked.

“Sammy’s trying to tell us something,” you said, bursting into the conference room.

Everyone stared at you. 

“Y/N, this is Elizabeth, Sammy’s aunt,” Rossi said.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said. “Sammy’s trying to tell us something.”

“Tell us what?” Spencer prompted.

“When I showed him his own drawing, the one with all the ‘L’s, he panicked,” you explained. “Then, he started tapping his fingers. I think he’s trying to play something.”

“Like on the piano?” Derek asked.

“He was playing when his parents were kidnapped,” Spencer recalled. “He might be remembering something.” 

“Is there any way we can get a keyboard?” You asked.

“We should bring him back to the house,” Rossi said. “Taking him back to the exact location could trigger something.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” you frowned. “He’s already pretty upset…”

“Whatever he’s trying to tell us could be the key to finding his parents,” Spencer countered. “But, of course, the ultimate decision is up to his guardian.”

You, Spencer, and Rossi all looked to Elizabeth.

“I’m supposed to decide?” She asked. 

“You’re his legal guardian right now,” Rossi repeated. “The decision is yours.”

The three of you let Sammy enter the house first. He went to the piano almost immediately, but didn’t sit down right away; he ran his toy train along the frame first.

“How long has it been since you’ve seen him?” You asked Elizabeth.

“His 5th birthday,” she answered.

“5 years ago,” you said in shock.

“Charlie and I had a falling out,” Elizabeth explained. “It got ugly. I haven’t seen either of them since.” She paused. “Do you think you’ll find him?”

“I hope so,” you said with a reassuring smile.

“Sammy, is it alright if I sit here?” Spencer asked. 

He let a few seconds pass before taking a seat on the piano bench. Then, he began to play a scale.

Sammy took a seat next to him and began to play the same scale, only in a higher octave. 

“Woah, you’ve been holding out on me, Sammy,” Spencer said with a wide smile. He then played the scale backwards. Sammy did the same. 

“Sammy, how about you play this note,” Spencer said, then played a G, “for yes, and this note,” he played a C, “for no. Does that sound like something you can do?” 

Sammy played ‘yes’.

“Yeah, just like that,” Spencer praised. “Now, Sammy, do you remember when the man came and took your parents away?”

He played ‘yes’ again. He pressed the same key several times. Then, Sammy began to play a song. It sounded beautiful, like something ballerinas would dance to.

“Sammy, I don’t understand,” Spencer said softly. “Does this song mean something to you?” 

Sammy stopped playing. He set his hand in his lap. You thought he might stand up or walk out. But then, you saw him lift Spencer’s hand onto the piano. Sammy pressed down Spencer’s thumb, middle, and pinkie finger, all of them playing a different note. He then played the same three notes, but once again in higher octave. 

Sammy played the three notes in a specific order, one that sounded like the roots of the song he was playing mere moments ago. After repeating the rhythm a few times, Spencer joined seamlessly.

“Do you want to have kids?” Spencer asked.

You considered, then nodded. “One day. After I’m done with school, probably. What about you?” 

“I find the concept of pregnancy and childbirth disturbing,”  Spencer admitted.

You laughed. “Me too. But from what I’ve heard, you forget all the nasty and annoying and painful parts when the baby comes.”

“Fatherhood does have a certain... appeal to it,” he agreed. Then, he smiled to himself fondly. He looked so beautiful you wanted to take a picture, but you didn’t want to ruin the moment.  You opted to take a mental picture instead. 

Elizabeth excused herself to use the restroom. After awhile, she didn’t come back downstairs, so you decided to make a trip upstairs. Spencer and Sammy were still busy playing the piano, so you figured they’d be okay without you for a moment. 

You checked the bathroom, not surprised to find it empty. You wandered further into the house, eventually finding Sammy’s room. You saw Elizabeth sitting on his bed.

“Is everything okay?” you asked, stepping into the room. 

“I’m a stranger in my own brother’s house. My nephew doesn’t recognize me,” she said. “And then, I find this.”

You took a seat next to her. She offered you a flipbook of pictures, one Sammy and his parents used. On one of the pages was a picture of Elizabeth.

“I always assumed he had no idea who I was,” Elizabeth said.

“What was the fight about, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“I was the one who suspected Sammy had autism,” she answered. “Charlie couldn’t see it. He was so upset, he kicked me out.”

You flipped through the rest of the book; each page had an illustration on it, and in the corner was a clock demonstrating a time. “What made you think he’s autistic?”

“He was… different,” Elizabeth said. “So, I did some research. Charlie was blind to it. He refused to accept what I found.” 

“It’s scary,” you said, “learning your child won’t have it as easy as you did. If it makes you feel any better, you probably helped Sammy; you might have even saved Charlie and Allison’s marriage.” 

You continued to flip through the booklet. You enjoyed routine, but the Sparks took it to a whole new level. Sammy’s entire life revolved around what he did, when he did it… he interprets the world through pictures.

Pictures.

You ran down the stairs and back into the living room.

“Spencer, come look at this,” you said, as you entered the room. Elizabeth followed suit. 

He stopped playing with Sammy to approach you. “What, his flip book?”

“Not just his flip book: his routine,” you said. “Shower, brush teeth, dress... His entire life is planned out in order.”

“Maybe we can figure out where he met the UnSub,” Spencer said.

“He already did,” you countered. “He lives his life in pictures.”

Spencer fumbled for his bag, pulling out Sammy’s drawings. “He’s been trying to speak to us, but he only communicates through symbols.”

He spread the drawings out on the floor. “It’s his language.”

You pointed to one on the far right. “Anchors, like your socks,” you said. Sure enough, Spencer lifted his pant leg to show blue socks covered with anchor designs. 

“And those are asterisks: it’s the logo on your jacket,” Spencer said.

You took off your jacket and looked at the back, though you’d hardly forgotten what the paramedic logo looked liked. 

“So what does the ‘L’ mean?” Elizabeth asked. 

“I don’t think it is an ‘L’,” Spencer disagreed. 

“It’s a time,” you said, pointing to the clock in the corner of each page.

“It’s the time he’s trying to tell us about — the time he met the UnSub,” Spencer concluded. “Where is he at 3:00?”

You flipped through. “2:30, music store. He doesn’t leave until it closes at 6.” 

Spencer was already on it, adjusting the time on his watch so it said 3:00.

“Hey, Sammy, it’s almost 3,” he said, showing Sammy his watch. “Is there some place you should be?”

Sammy ran his finger over the watchface, tracing the arms on the watch. 

“Should be, store,” he said. 

By the time you found the Sparks, it was too late for Charlie. You’d later learn he had been dead since the night before. It was also too late for the UnSub, but you didn’t feel so bad about that part, especially considering that Allison was the one who shot him. You comforted Elizabeth as she mourned the loss of her brother, and you watched Sammy as he reciprocated his mother’s hug for the first time in his life. It was a bittersweet ending. 

You entered your apartment, tossing your jacket, bag, and keys onto the couch. You moved into the kitchen, fixing yourself a drink. You already knew you wouldn’t be attending any lectures the next morning, so you poured yourself some Fireball. The first sip alone burned your throat and warmed your chest. 

You heard the doorknob jiggle. You reached for your pistol, which was in a holster on your side; you passed firearm certification a little over a week ago. 

Spencer opened the door. You let out a sigh that sounded more like a growl.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you asked, holstering your weapon. “You scared the shit out of me.” 

“Tobias Hankel,” he said.

“What?”

“Tobias Hankel is the man who hurt me,” he continued.

You shook your head, setting down your drink. “Please, not now, Spencer.” 

“He kidnapped me, tied me to a chair, and injected me with Dilaudid,” Spencer said. “I blacked out each time, and when I came back, he did it again. Once, he stopped my heart and had to resuscitate me.”

“Please, stop,” you said, voice growing weaker.

Spencer closed the door, stepping deeper into your apartment. “He held a gun to my head and made me choose which BAU team member he would kill.” 

“Stop,” you begged, voice no louder than a whisper.

“He hurt me, Y/N, and I wasn’t the same for a long time,” Spencer continued. “In some ways, I’m still different. But I’m okay. I found a way to live with it. And you can too, if you just talk. Just let me in. Let me help.” 

“You can’t help me!” you screamed. “No one can! Don’t you get it, Spencer?! I am broken. I came home broken, I live a broken life, and one day, I’ll die broken. That is my cross to bear, not yours.” 

“I love you,” Spencer said, swallowing thickly. “I love you and whatever mess you come with. So please, Y/N, I am begging you, let me help you.” 

You put a hand over your mouth to mask a sob. You felt Spencer move forward, trying to pull you into a hug. You pushed him away.

“Get the fuck away from me,” you cried, tears streaming down your face. 

Clearly, Spencer wasn’t one to give up easily. He grabbed you again, this time pressing your side into his chest so you couldn’t fight him with your arms. You clawed at his grip a few times, but really, you were just so tired. 

You broke down completely, sinking to the floor. Spencer followed you down, his face in your hair and his arms still tight around you. One of his forearms was across your chest, and you gripped it for dear life. 

_____________________

Notes: Yes, I 100%, without a doubt, stole most of those flashback scenes from other media lol. Fight me. 

Like what you read? Let me know! Feedback seriously keeps me inspired to write <3

Want to be tagged in future parts? Shoot me an ask!

[luckyspike]

Adventures in America, Ch. 9 - Jackson County, Missouri

In which we learn about Rachael and Noel

Adam and Lucky bond over mutual interests that aren’t weather

And Aziraphale and Crowley share a soft moment at the edge of a corn field

Read the previous chapters here (not on AO3 yet!): ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5 | ch 6 | ch 7 | ch 8

or just check out my fanfiction tag

-

The next day brought a trip to the great state of Missouri, and more tornadoes. Bigger, this time, longer-lived. Adam and Lucky watched with great enthusiasm as the powerlines flashed when the tornado tore through them, and then with dread as they watched the biggest tornado of the day lift a barn entirely up off the ground and hurl it, in pieces, hundreds of yards to either side. When the danger had passed, Rachael drove the truck toward the property, the students taking in the destruction as they drove past the bits of barn on the way up the farm road. Noel and Rachael led the way to the farmhouse, where they knocked on the door and checked on the homeowner and were assured that it was just hay in the barn, thanks for checking but we’re fine, appreciate the stop. 

“It should be a compulsory part of storm chasing,” Noel told the boys solemnly as they piled back into the truck. “Lots of chasers do it, and that’s great, but I’ve seen vans and trucks blow past a trashed building just to keep following the storm.” He shook his head. “No excuse for that, not really.”

There wasn’t as much lightning with that system, so Rachael didn’t bother throwing the probes out. After they checked on the farm house, they drove after the storm for a little while longer, but it fell apart near the capitol, and they called it a night. Noel was driving by then, and when the group decided a diner sounded just perfect for a quick bite before bed, he somehow managed to navigate to a greasy spoon on the side of the road that promised some of the best burgers in the midwest. Adam wasn’t typically a fan of burgers, but when faced with a claim like that, he felt it was fairly mandatory to at least give them a try.

They chatted idly about the storms of the day while the waited, Adam nursing a Pepsi and Lucky working on a black-and-white milkshake. “So what are we thinking about tomorrow?” Noel asked, over the rim of his coffee cup.

Rachael had the laptop out, and she didn’t look particularly happy. “Not … not looking good. Not for the next few days, as much as I can estimate.” She sighed. “I can look again in the morning, for sure, but if there’s anything, it’s going to be little, and it’ll be all the way up in South Dakota, probably.”

Noel winced. “Worth the drive?”

“Well … I mean, I’ll check tomorrow, but if you want my money on it … no. Sorry. There’s a few little system set-ups in the works, but nothing I can forsee producing anything worthwhile. Probably a bust day.”

Lucky and Adam exchanged a look. “So what do we do on bust days?” Adam asked, over the slurping of the milkshake. Although this was supposed to be an educational trip, he was sort of desperately hoping the answer wasn’t going to be studying. Certainly, if he was in America, there would be something to do besides sit around and study.

“Well, Noel has some textbooks in the truck that you two can share, and -” Rachael caught their expressions and stopped to laugh. “Nah, just kidding. I mean, you can if you want to, but doesn’t sound very fun, does it?” They shook their heads slowly. “Noel and I have a lot of photos and video to edit, so we’re gonna be pretty tied up with that most of the day, but since we won’t be traveling anywhere, might make sense for us to head back to Kansas City tonight and stay there, and you guys can explore around tomorrow if you want. There’s museums and stuff there, and it’s not even a two-hour drive, so not too bad to head to tonight.”

Lucky nodded. “Kansas City’s good with me. I’ve never been there.”

“I have once,” Adam said, as the waitress set his food down in front of him. Regardless of the quality of the burger, it was certainly one of the biggest burgers he’d ever seen. Next to him, Lucky made a confused noise that reminded him, a little, of Crowley, and made something that felt a little like homesickness twist in his gut, although that might have just been hunger at the sight of the burger and fries. “Nah, just kidding.” He picked up a fry and smirked at the other boy. “I’m game though.”

“I was so confused for a minute.” The waitress set down Lucky’s meal: an enormous plate of fried chicken. “Oh man, oh yes.”

“You really gonna eat all that?”

“Or die trying.”

Noel sighed wistfully. “I wish I could still eat like that without needing a handful of antacids afterwards.” He’d ordered a BLT for himself, and Rachael had chosen a tuna melt.

“You can have a piece if you want?” Lucky pushed the drumstick close to Noel, who shook his head. “Sure?”

“Enjoy it for me. Much as I’d like it, I’d prefer to sleep tonight.”

They ate in silence for a while. Adam considered his burger. It was certainly good, but was it one of the best? He chewed each bite thoughtfully, and tried to balance the juiciness of the meat with the sharpness of the cheese and the varied tastes - sweet, acid, umami - of the condiments. About a quarter of the way through, he settled on the conclusion that it maybe wasn’t the best he’d ever had, but it certainly was in the top five. He set it down to take a photo of it for the group, which he would include with the tornado pictures when he sent them later.

“You guys still have to show me your pictures,” Rachael said, the sight of Adam’s phone jogging her memory. “Lucky, you took a million yesterday and today - I heard your camera. Any favorites?”

“Yeah.” He swallowed his mouthful of chicken. “I’ll show you when I’m not greasy.”

“Deal.” She cocked her head, a loose lock of dark hair falling across her nose. She blew it out of the way. “How about you, Adam?”

He thought about all the photos and videos he’d taken, and considered. “I think some are pretty good,” he concluded. “My friends back home loved some of the ones from yesterday, but I think that was more because of the tornado and not as much the quality of the photography. I’ll show you when I’m done.”

“That’s fair.” She nudged Noel. “I know you have some great pictures, I heard your camera going off all day like it was going out of style.”

Noel replied, and Adam ate quietly as they bantered back and forth. He grinned a little too, around bites of burger, because for two research partners, Noel and Rachael were really very funny together. He wondered if they were more than research partners, but neither had ever said, and while he wouldn’t have thought twice about asking when he was eleven, at eighteen he liked to think he had picked up enough social graces through the years to know better than to come out with a question like that*. Besides, neither wore a ring, and neither had made any kind of overt romantic gesture toward the other, which led Adam to believe that if they were more than research partners, they probably didn’t like to discuss it with customers. 

[*And if anything, Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship had taught him that an obvious friendship and incredible chemistry didn’t always infer a relationship that any involved parties would be willing to talk about for any length of time without blushing, or turning into a gigantic serpent and escaping through a window. Although Adam also knew the latter was significantly less likely within the general population.]

“So where are you guys from?” Lucky asked, and Adam startled out of his reverie. “I mean, I read your bios online, but like - Noel, you’re from around this part of the country, aren’t you?”

“Not quite - I’m from Montana.” Noel’s expression changed when he mentioned that state, settled into something calm and peaceful. “Big Sky country. Not too many tornadoes up that way, though, but the winter storms can be something up in the mountains. That’s home base for me, when it’s not chasing season.”

“So you like snow and stuff?”

“Oh, yeah! Cross-country skiing, trapping, fishing.” He laughed. “Growing up out there, just me and my mom, it was a little wild. She’s kind of a frontier-woman type, so we grew or hunted a lot of our own food.” He shrugged. “Not that I don’t love it, obviously, nothing better than being out in nature if you ask me, but I do like being able to run to the store when I’m out of peanut butter. College domesticated me, I guess.”

“Education’ll do that,” Rachael agreed, laughing. “One minute you’re Grizzly Adams, the next you’re eating Top Ramen and yelling at the weather channel in an air-conditioned dorm because it’s kind of hot outside.”

Noel acted affronted at that. “My dorm didn’t have air conditioning, excuse you.”

“Oh, so sorry, my mistake.” Lucky and Adam were laughing, which Adam rather suspected was the intended outcome of the little show the two scientists were putting on. “Was it actually a constructed building or did you fashion your own dorm out of hewn logs?”

Noel shook his head. “They wouldn’t let me build a log cabin on campus, can you believe?” He nodded her way. “Anyway, that’s me, what about you? Where you from? The public wants to know.”

“Florida.” Rachael sighed. “Sorry to say, I am Florida Woman.” Lucky and Adam laughed again. “Fighting alligators, selling fake Superbowl tickets, finding manatees in the swimming pool … Yes, all my doing.”

Lucky looked somewhat worried, and Adam paused. “Wait, really?”

“No.” She scoffed. “Well, okay, one time a manatee did get into our pool, but that was one time. During a hurricane.” She waved a hand. “Storm surge, you know how it is. Anyway, I did not grow up on the wild plains of America - I grew up like a normal American kid in a kind-of-nice trailer park on the Gulf coast, and was already completely civilized by the time I arrived at college.”

Adam nodded. “Did you guys meet in college, or … ?” he trailed off, letting the question hang. Rachael’s mouth dropped open.

“Adam, how old do you think I am?”

Adam winced. “Sorry, I just -” but she was laughing anyway, and he relaxed and broke into a grin. “Sorry.”

“Kidding, kidding. No, we didn’t meet in college. Well,” she amended, “I was in college. He was working for OSU at the time, I think?” Noel nodded in confirmation. “Anyway, I was working with OSU’s lightning research team and he was helping with the mesonet, so that’s where we met. Then a few years later, when I was looking to do more lightning research for my PhD, he had started storm chasing, and he actually hired me on.” She shrugged. “Free research opportunities for me, and another driver for him.”

“Plus I can pay her in Dunkin coffee, which is a lot less than what the other candidates I interviewed wanted,” he joked. She made a face at him. “Alright, and money, yes. Even benefits, eventually.”

Rachael pushed her plate away, the tuna melt long gone and the fries all but eaten. She rested her face in her hands. “Yeah, that was a bigger adventure than storm chasing was that year, I think. God, getting him to do literally any amount of official paperwork is actually painful.”

“Which is why I gave her a raise and expanded her duties to include the business operations.” He snorted. “Worked out great for me - I just keep the truck and the equipment running, and don’t get us killed, she finds the storms and does taxes.”

Lucky frowned then, and Adam could almost hear what the other boy was thinking. He watched Lucky chew a french fry thoughtfully, swallow, and then open his mouth. Rachael, grinning like a shark, headed him off before he could get a word out. “If you’re about to ask if we are anything more than business partners, the answer is no. Everyone thinks so, though.” She sighed. “Alas, I’m married to a lovely woman who holds down the fort in Florida, and Noel here is married to Montana, I think.”

“Yeah, okay.” He shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“And you both just really like weather?” Adam asked, also choosing to push his plate away, although the handful of fries left were practically calling to him. “S’how you got into storm chasing?”

“I mean, I grew up in lightning country, so I guess it just carried on from there. I always liked it, wanted to know how it worked.” Rachael shrugged. “You?”

“I like road trips and tornadoes,” Noel answered, simply. “I went to college with a plan to get a business degree or something, but I actually went chasing for the first time after my freshman year, kind of fell into it, and switched my major to geology after that.”

Adam sat back. “Wicked.”

The waitress came back with the bill, and they all threw down a little cash, before wandering back out to the truck. Behind the storm, the sky was clear and dark, a few stars winking over the light pollution. Noel looked up as they crossed the parking lot and sighed. “You know that’s the thing about Montana. It really does have a sky you don’t get anywhere else. Figuratively speaking.”

“My Dad took me out to Colorado once,” Lucky said, conversationally. “We were out at some base in the middle of nowhere. The stars were insane - you could see the milky way and everything. Back home, there’s so much light pollution you’re lucky if you see enough stars to count on two hands.” He sighed, wistful. “Sometimes I think I might move out this way after school. I’m sick of DC, anyway.”

“Can’t imagine it’s a quiet place to live,” Rachael said sympathetically. “And if you’re looking to study meteorology it’s nice to have it closer to your backyard, so to speak. ‘Course, if you stay in Washington, maybe you could lobby against climate change.” Lucky made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat, and stuck out his tongue. “Or not. Just a thought.”

“No way. I’m over it. The whole DC rat-race.” He waved his arms, and then hauled the door to the back seat of the truck open. “Forget it.” Once in the truck, he looked across the back seat to Adam, who was fiddling with his seatbelt in the dark. “What about you, Adam? You think you wanna stay in England?”

“Oh, yeah,” Adam replied, without ever even having to think about it. He had, after all, made up his mind about that ages ago. “I like to travel and everything, though, so it’d be cool to find some job where you get to travel a bit. But yeah, Tadfield’ll always be home for sure.”

“That’s cool.” He rubbed his hands on his thighs, wiping the last remnants of chicken grease off on his shorts. “Is it a big place?”

Adam shook his head. “Oh, no. Few hundred people at the outside. But it’s close to Oxford, and not all that far from London, so it’s kind of the best of both worlds, I guess.” He looked out of the window, and tried to ignore the feeling of homesickness then - definitely not hunger anymore, no way it could be after that burger.

There was quiet for a minute, and then, gently, Rachael said, “Have you ever been away from home this long before?”

“No,” he answered, automatically, and then he flinched, glad for the darkness and the fact that his face was turned away from Lucky. He wasn’t ashamed that he hadn’t traveled for six weeks before, not at all, but he didn’t want the other guy to think he was some homesick little kid. “No,” he decided, going on as if he was bored with the subject, “but I’ve gone away for a couple weeks before, on holiday.”

“Six weeks is a long time,” Rachael answered, tone neutral. “I guess if we’re not going to be chasing tomorrow you’ll have time to call England at a reasonable hour, though, so there’s something, right?” She cracked the laptop open and smiled in the soft glow of the screen. “Silver lining in every cloud, right?”

“You see clouds?” Lucky leaned around the seat a little to get a better look.

“Not a one.”

-

When they arrived in Kansas City, the sun had long-since set, and the lights of the city illuminated the sky with a soft glow. They found a hotel on the outskirts of the city, cheap and clean, and parted ways to crash for the evening. Adam was looking forward to a quick shower and the soft embrace of a hotel mattress, but as he started to unpack for the night it appeared Lucky had other plans.

“So what do you think we should do tomorrow?”

“Huh? Oh. I dunno. What do you want to do?”

Lucky thought it over. “Dunno. We could just wander around the city, I guess. Oh, there’s an amusement park. You like rollercoasters?”

“They’re cool.” Adam shrugged. “Any museums or anything? Or like, barbecue?”

“Oh, a barbecue tour. Might be cool.” He tapped at his phone for a while, and scratched his beard thoughtfully. “What about this haunted building walking tour?”

“Oh yeah? Sounds awesome, actually. I’d be up for it.”

Lucky put his head to the side. “Yeah, I guess the Mormons were big around here for awhile? Oh, man, if we had a car we could take a day trip to the Garden of Eden, apparently.”

That drew a laugh out of Adam. “The Garden of Eden?” he asked, incredulous. “In driving distance? What is it, like a religious amusement park or something?”

“No, no, some people believe that the Garden of Eden was here in Missouri.” He giggled. “I always heard Eden was in the middle east or whatever. Like Mesopotamia area. Guess it could have been in Missouri though. Why not? No one really knows.”

Adam laughed. “I dunno, maybe someone does.”

“What, you know some immortals?” Lucky grinned. “Or what, wizards? Is Hogwarts real? I mean, I did move away when I was eleven, I could have missed my Hogwarts letter.”

“Never been to Hogwarts, nah. But you never know.” He shrugged. “All kinds of scholars figure it’s in the middle east. Maybe one of ‘em has an inside line, you know?”

“To who? God?”

Adam smirked. “You never know. Anyway, I’m gonna grab a shower. I’m in for the ghost tour thing tomorrow, though - sounds awesome.”

“You think they’re real?” The question stopped Adam halfway to the bathroom. “Ghosts, that is.”

Adam considered it. He could be honest**, of course, but then would Lucky think he was weird? But then the other boy had been the one to bring up the ghosts up in the first place. He chewed it over for a second, and then shrugged again. “Yeah.”

[** Not completely honest. There were things that he would always leave out. Being the actual Antichrist, for one.]

“Same.” He frowned. “I mean, I’ve never seen one, but there’s so many people that believe they exist, and that they’ve seen them, there has to be something to it, right?”

“Well …” Adam chewed his lip, and then, after a second, smiled. “Alright, maybe, yeah, but to play devil’s advocate for a minute, what if it’s not ghosts at all, but a totally natural phenomenon? Infrasound, or something?”

Lucky cocked his head. “Huh? What’s that?”

Adam looked to the shower, and then tossed his pajamas into the bathroom, haphazard on the tile floor, before he turned back around and headed to sit on his bed, legs crossed and leaned back, across from Lucky. He raised an eyebrow. “Infrasound. Supposedly can make people see and hear and thing all kinds of stuff. Hallucinations and everything.”

“I’ve never heard of it.” Lucky tossed his phone aside and fixed Adam with his full attention. “It can make people see ghosts?”

Adam grinned, wide and wicked. “You ever heard of the incident at Dyatlov Pass?”

“No. Is it weird?” Adam nodded. “Cool?” Another nod. “Mysterious?” A very affirmative nod. “Dude, tell me everything.”

Adam did. The pajamas sat, forgotten, on the bathroom floor, until the early hours of the morning, while the boys chattered on.

-

“Independence, Missouri.” The 4-Runner’s brakes didn’t dare squeak as it pulled to a stop. The engine hushed and shut off, and Crowley and Aziraphale sat for a long minute, staring out of the dark windshield to a field lit only by the car’s headlights. They didn’t need them, so Crowley shut them off too. “City of Zion,” Aziraphale observed, dryly. “Site of the Garden of Eden, they say.”

“I don’t remember all the corn,” Crowley said. Aziraphale didn’t respond, instead opening his door and stepping out of the car, into the humid night air. Above, the stars that managed to shine in spite of the light pollution glimmered weakly through the gaps in the clouds. 

Aziraphale surveyed the field below them, and when he spoke again, it was in a language so long-dead that Crowley had to scramble to figure out what he was saying, at first. But it surprised him, eventually, how easily it came back, how it rolled off his tongue when he replied, like it had never died, never been shattered to the four corners when the Tower fell.

“It’s funny, how they think, don’t you think?” The angel chuckled a little. “Wonder what our lives would have been like if it had really been here, don’t you?”

Crowley was silent for a second, and then Aziraphale looked over, surprised, as a skinny elbow dug into his ribs. “Maybe I’d have been a corn snake.”

“Crowley,” he admonished, while the demon burst out into laughter. “You’re speaking a dead language that’s not been heard in thousands of years, and you make a pun? Have some respect.”

“I never will.” He ran his hands through his hair, still snickering. “If the Garden was actually in Missouri …” He sighed. “Well, for one, we’d have different accents.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous.” He left the demon to his own devices for a minute, giggling and making terrible puns in a tongue long-forgotten, and instead looked over the cornfield, flat and stretched out across the plains. On the other side, he could just hear the sound of running water.

“Oy, angel.” Startled, Azirpahale looked to Crowley, wide-eyed. The other was watching him, and because his sunglasses were perched on his head, sending Crowley’s mess of red hair in all sorts of directions, Aziraphale could see his eyes properly. He looked amused, most of all, but somewhere in there he was watching Aziraphale carefully. Thoughtful. “What’re you thinking about?”

“The Garden. The real Garden.” He looked around, the creatures of the night crying and squeaking and chirping all around. “Do you think, Crowley, that if it had been here - really, in real life - things would have gone the same?”

Crowley puffed out a breath, thoughtful. “Deep, angel. S’a big question. You’re giving everything a whole new beginning, for a start. It’s all so big, an’ ineffable, hard to know, isn’t it?”

“The ineffable plan might have stayed the same.”

Crowley shifted uncomfortably. “It … would be different though, wouldn’t it? It’d have to be. The Garden is in a whole different place.”

“Not necessarily. What happened in the Garden probably didn’t happen just because the Garden was where it was. It happened because of the plan -”

“Oh, sod the plan,” Crowley said with a disgusted noise. “It happened because Eve wanted to know what else was out there, and Adam agreed with her. And She made it easy for them to find out, in a way.” He pointed upwards, to where the moon was trying to peek through the wispy layer of clouds left behind from the day’s storms. “Could have always put it up there.” He snorted. “She never had a plan, she just set the pieces out and let them fall where they did.”

Aziraphale scowled in the way he always did when his disagreed, and disapproved, but he didn’t say anything about it. It was an argument they had had time and time again - Aziraphale arguing that the plan is ineffable and therefore extant but not anything either he or Crowley would ever be able to understand, and Crowley arguing that there was no plan to begin with, and She was ad-libbing and rolling with the hits as they came - and he didn’t feel like having it tonight. Instead, he re-set his expression to a more neutral, thoughtful one, and slid his hand into Crowley’s. The demon, wordlessly, squeezed it. “What about us?”

Crowley looked surprised. “What about us?” He shifted nervously onto his heels, and then laced his fingers through Aziraphale’s, the better to keep his balance.

“Would we have turned out the same, do you think?”

“I …” Crowley trailed off. He thought. Aziraphale let him, and stood beside him in companionable silence, trying to corral his own ideas about that question into something he might be able to elucidate. “Depends,” Crowley decided, eventually. “I’d have still done the bit at the start of it all, but after that …” He fixed Azirpahale with a curious expression. “Would you have still given away your sword?”

It was a question Aziraphale hadn’t expected, only because the answer to it was so obvious. He blinked. “Of course.”

The demon nodded, satisfied. “Then angel, I would have followed you to the ends of the Earth to find out what you were going to do next, no matter where we started.” He squeezed Aziraphale’s hand. “So we’d probably have ended up just the same.”

The thought of it made the angel smile, and he stepped closer to Crowley, standing close enough that their shoulders bumped and settled together, close and familiar and soft in spite of Crowley’s bony joints. “With different accents.”

“Well, yeah. With different accents. Naturally.”

-

Now with Chapter 10!

[marveliter]

Invincible

Summary:  Roberta Ross has the best life living with her mother and spending the summer with her best friend, but what happens when a certain someone shows up and flips her life upside down? She's asked to join a team of incredible people and fight alongside her incredible father, but does she want to?

CHAPTER ONE Characters: OC + Marvel characters Warnings: ocean, underwater snorkeling, barracuda & rash A/N: wow okay first story on here! I've tried doing stories before, so I hope this one works out! I'm much better on wattpad, and if you guys are interested in checking it out I can link it in the next chapter (if there will be one). Enjoy :)

If I could go anywhere in the entire world, anywhere I wanted, I'd stay right where I am. I don't want to go far for college, I don't want to move out of state, I want to stay in Key Largo, Florida, my home. I've lived here all my life and never see myself leaving. The beach is my second home, my safety; I don't fear anything under the dark blue waters. The unsolved mysteries of the ocean don't frighten me, it inspires me, motivates me to learn and solve. I imagine being a marine biologist and discovering a new species of fish or crustacean. Of course, I couldn't do it alone.       "What are we looking for today, Captain?" Ollie shouts from the steering wheel. I turn around from the bow of the boat, letting the wind fling my brown hair over my shoulders. The wind was casting Ollie's long brown hair behind him. My hair was longer than his shoulder-touching curls, but his was brighter thanks to spending numerous days in the sun. His smile was wide with lines and perfect white teeth. His eyes were darker than the ocean, a nice pristine dark blue almost laced with black.        I smile and turn my head out to the big blue ocean, letting the choppy sound of the engine fill my ears and the small spray o ocean hit my cheeks.        "Out there," I call back to him, pointing to dark rocks that just peak out from the waves.       "Great choice, Cap," Ollie shouts. The boat lightly swerves to the left, and soon we are a yard or so from the rocks.       Ollie cuts the engine and emerges from the steering wheel.       "Can't get too close now,"       I laugh, "Defiantly, learned that the hard way,"       "You'd think the current isn't strong enough to haul a boat away," he shrugs and smiles.       "I thought you meant the boat hitting the rocks," I say as I squat in front of the white cushioned seats that double as a chest.       "That too, thank God for O'Malley boat repairs!" he exclaims.       "Stop sponsoring you grandpa's business," I giggle as I toss him a snorkel mask. 

      Ollie chuckles as he sets down the mask and takes off his cut-off shirt. He was tall and semi-built, mostly in his arms and legs; his chest was flat like a cheeseboard. He was built but skinny; he looked like an optical illusion without a shirt on. Ollie was funny about it, saying that he looked like a twig, and making fun of himself. Some girl in my class had told me that he looked like a stoner with the long hair and distorted face. His "distorted' face wasn't imperfect at all; his jaw was square but appeared narrow because it was so structured, and his long hair created shadows around his cheeks.        I was different in body type: I have curves and more defined muscles, a big chest, and like him no abs. I don't mind though, just more of me to love.       "I wish I was as tan as you, the only color I get is on my shoulders, and then I get even more freckles."        I laugh and shake my head as I pull a fuzz ball off my pink bikini bottoms. "I don't know why I get so tan, Mom has lighter skin than I do."       "Is it. . .never mind," he says while pulling out flippers from the other cushioned bench.       "From my dad? Maybe, but who knows - who cares? Look where I am now, having the time of my life with my favorite person! And, if we get eaten by sharks I know that I'll die with my best friend," I smile.       Ollie shoots me a look, "Funny of you to assume that I'm going to be anywhere near you if a shark comes around,"       "Oh, please, like we're going to be eaten by a shark,"       "What scene in Jaws don't you understand? Actually, what don't you learn from the whole series?" Ollie asks.       "Come on Skipper," I laugh as I pull on my flippers and strap my goggles over my eyes, "we've got some discovering to do,"       Soon after we throw the anchor down, we both jump in the cold ocean, but it wasn't so cold to me. The sun was always blistering, but I'd grown used to it, and now nothing bothered me. When I emerged from under the waves, Ollie was struggling to get his snorkel clear of salt water. He inhales deeply, presses his mouth against the mouthpiece, and blows into it, letting the water shoot out from the top like he was a whale. I laugh before biting onto the mouth piece and diving under the waves. Ollie swam next to me a few seconds later, taking my hand so we wouldn't drift too far from each other or end up in a current. We didn't wear life vests because we weren't that far from the rocks, and we could climb up on them to take a break.       As we swim close to the rocks, schools of Yellowtail Snappers part to let us through. It was so exciting swimming in such a colorful ocean, filled with corals of all shapes and sizes, fish of different bright colors, and seashells scattered everywhere on the bottom floor. My favorite fish would have to be a puffer fish, because they look so innocent until you make them mad, and they blow up into a huge ball of spikes. Great White Sharks are my second favorite, just because they're like the kings of the ocean - in my opinion at least. Ollie likes Manatees and Blue Tangs more, he's not one who wants to learn about the dangerous creatures and discover what's deep down in the Hadal Zone.       After we take a few laps around the rocks to explore and admire the ocean life around it, we start diving to pick up seashells. Every once in a while when swimming back up to the surface, we realize that someone's still living inside. I love collecting seashells, and I do it every time I head to the beach. When I was younger, my favorite type of seashell to collect were broken sand dollar shells. One day I imagined finding all the broken pieces of one shell and piecing it back together. The only whole seashell I've ever had is one my mother found for me; she wouldn't tell me where she found it, which at first I thought it was one she bought from a gift shop. I was wrong because it was real, and I wondered for years how she attained it. Over the years I brushed it off, because she's done so much for me as a single parent and I never know how to thank her.       As I grab a white cockle shell with a blue stripe, my eyes catch sight of an abandoned queen conch, which was a light pink with dark oranges around the edges. I thought it was beautiful, but I didn't have time to grab it because I couldn't hold my breath for more than ten seconds. So, I pushed myself off the sand floor and torpedoed up to the waves, where up on the rocks sat Ollie, mask on his forehead as he counted all eight of his shells and piled all sixteen of mine next to him.       "Conch!" I spit water out of my mouth frantically as I swim up to the rock and place my cockle shell in my pile. Ollie gives me a surprised and confused look as he leans in closer.       "What did you just call me?"       "No!" I laugh, propping my elbows on the ledge of the rocks. "There's this beautiful conch shell right below me in between the green brain corals. It's so gorgeous but I'm not sure I can carry it with all my other shells." Ollie throws his mask back over his eyes and grabs a hold of the snorkel.       "That sucks, is a slug in it?" I shake my head as he gathers up his and half of my shells. "Maybe we'll come back tomorrow and get it, Grams is gonna be pissed if I'm late for dinner," I nod as I gather up the rest of my shells and swim with Ollie back to the boat. As I climb the ladder, I place my shells in an empty bucket next to the seats. Ollie tosses his in, then stands up straighter and flips his mask up once more.       "You said the seashell was over there?" he asks, pointing to the general area where we were a moment ago. I nod as I pull up the anchor. The boat rocks slightly before Ollie starts the engine, and slowly drives the boat. Usually he does this as a warm up until he can get the boat to go faster. He stays slow as he turns the boat in the wrong direction for home.       "Ollie," I say. "I don't mean to be a backseat sailor, but you're going the wrong way,"       "I know," he calls back before turning near the rocks and cutting the engine off again. I watch as he placed the mask, which he never took off, over his eyes one last time before he grabbed the snorkel, and without flippers, jumps into the ocean.       "Ollie!" I scream as I lean over the boat's railing. He emerges from the water, flinging his long brown hair out of his face.       "Green brain coral, right?" he asks.       "What?" I ask. Ollie smirks before taking a deep breath, biting onto the mouth piece and slipping under the water. I grab only my mask and climb down the ladder, but stay clinging to it even as I go under the water.       Ollie swims towards the circle of brain coral where the conch shell is resting on the ocean floor. I watch him take hold of it, and he turns around to see me looking at him. He gives me a thumbs up and I do the same back with a smile he probably can't see. Suddenly, a big long shadow moves behind him, and I start pointing behind him. It was a barracuda, a long rusty blue one that blended in with the ocean water. It's mouth was slightly open to reveal sharp teeth, something I found terrifying in fish. Although I've eaten barracudas, I'd never want to swim with or near one.       Ollie turns around in time to see it circling him, but instead of staying calm and unmoving - probably because he was couldn't breathe - Ollie took off from the sea floor. I emerged from the water and hastily climbed up the ladder. Not a second later Ollie was climbing up it, throwing himself over the step and falling on the floor of the boat. Immediately, I'm at his side.       "Ollie! I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have pointed! - are you okay?" All I hear is deep breaths and he tosses his mask off. His blue eyes looked into my brown ones as he smirks, and holds out the conch shell to me.       "For you, oh Captain my Captain," he says.       I sigh with guilt as I took the conch. "You didn't need to do that," He raises an eyebrow and chuckles, shaking his head.       "And see my captain sad? Never," We laugh as I hug him tightly, but as he tries to move his feet, Ollie hisses in pain. Looking to his feet, I see the side of his left foot and big toe swelling up with redness.       "You stepped on fire coral!" I scream as I take the next empty bucket and lean over the boat to submerge it under the waves. After I haul it back up filled with sea water, I help Ollie onto the bench and stick his left foot in it.       "Time to go home, Mom can help you out with that," I say, turning to the wheel of the boat and starting up the engine. "Don't let your foot rest on the bottom of the bucket, you could have a stingers stuck in your foot."       Through all the pain hisses and wincing, Ollie says, "You should be a doctor, just like your mom, you'd be good at it,"       "This isn't the right time to discuss my mother's dream of 'Dr. Ross and Ross, family doctors,'" I say as I turn the boat in the right direction of home.        "Dr. Roberta Ross," Ollie shouts over the engine. "I like the sound of that,"   

[thelazyenvironmentalist]

So Now I’m Back, From Outer Space

(Kidding, but I did go to The Kennedy Space Centre and I’m obsessed.)

I stopped writing this blog over a year ago. The last two posts here weren’t even originally written for this page, but were op-eds for the school paper that I’d written, once I’d returned to university to finish my undergrad. You see, I’d left school for two years -- largely as a result of being able to reckon with what it meant to study at an institution that cared so little for my future, and that of my fellow students. 

(For a backstory you can control+F “Divestment” and skim any number of pieces I’d vomited forth whilst desperate/angry/disillusioned with the lack of action said institution was taking on climate change.)

There are a myriad of reasons (is this the correct way to use “myriad”?) why I stopped writing as “The Lazy Environmentalist”. Not least among them was that, for a while, I wasn’t sure if I should be speaking up at all -- even if it was just to an audience of a casual dozen. As douchey and self-righteous as it sounds (is) I refer to myself as a climate justice activist or organizer, and a couple years back, I realized I was showing up to climate justice spaces in a pretty shitty way. I figured because I wanted to be there that I should be there. I thought that because I wanted to speak up that I should speak up-- somehow not realizing that my being there meant that I was taking the place of someone else, or that in speaking up I was speaking over other voices. I needed to learn to be quiet. Not silent necessarily, not absent by any means, but simply more aware of my surroundings-- who was missing because I was taking their space, who wasn’t being heard, because I’m so fucking noisy.��

In this way, it was good that I took a break from writing for a little while, because it helped me to see that sometimes (most of the time) my voice isn’t the one that needs to be heard-- especially when it comes to discussions regarding climate change and climate justice. 

I also need to acknowledge that because this whole exercise is largely self-indulgent, when I stopped writing I was really just letting myself off the hook. This blog, like it says in that gross yellow font at the top of the page, exists so I can hold myself to account, and that still rings true. Did I pull out my laptop in a frenzy tonight because I’ve decided that I once again need to stuff my trash in a mason jar and make my mom feel bad for taking me to restaurants that send home leftovers in styrofoam? No-- behaving like that was pointless at best, and harmful otherwise. Me toting around my trash in an instagrammable jar does nothing to reduce the amount of plastic choking a baby Laysan Albatross, and my saint of a mother doesn’t need to carry the guilt of the lack of plastic materials regulation around on her shoulders simply because I don’t feel like finishing my zimarika at our favourite Greek restaurant. 

No. When I say this blog exists to hold me to account I mean that the act of writing is one of the best things I can do when it comes to working against the forces driving climate change. Not because anyone reads this-- we’ve already established no one save my big sister (hey, Kayla) does-- but because its through writing that I force myself to sit with my thoughts and digest the literal constant deluge of terrible news about human-inflicted damage on the planet and all of its inhabitants. When I stopped writing I gave myself permission to be intellectually lazy (not cute, contrary to my chosen moniker). When I say I’ve been in a cognitive fog the last few years I’m not even being that obnoxiously hyperbolic-- I honestly feel like I’ve retreated into a world of podcasts and quickly skimmed news articles-- I’ve eschewed my own ideas and feelings because when things are as desperately, existentially terrifying as they are in the year of our lord (lol, there is no God) 2019, its easier to let someone else, someone smarter, tell you what to feel, what to worry about, and how to think. I think when I opened my laptop 21 minutes ago it was on a whim that maybe thats not what’s best for me anymore. I think if I want to devote my time, my brain, my heart to saving what I can of my home that I need to push myself to dig a little deeper into the recesses of the ole’ lobes (ew?) and try to figure out why I’m here, doing this fucking work in the first place, and also what I fucking mean when I say “this work”. “This work” sounds vague and self-aggrandizing and I’m in a time of my life where I think I need specifics and tangibilities. 

Finally, I stopped writing as “The Lazy Environmentalist” because I wasn’t sure . if that’s who I was anymore. I’m definitely a fucking lazy individual-- even at this moment I’m lying in bed at a somewhat cramped and awkward angle because I can’t be bothered to shift myself into a seated position (lol @ the misfortune of my neck). However, I don’t like the idea of letting myself take the easy way out because I’ve accepted that I am fundamentally a lazy person. Is my aversion to accepting my habitual sluggishness perhaps rooted in questionable puritanical christian societal values? Like, ya probably. Does that mean that it’s a good thing to watch 6 hours of Criminal Minds and tell myself that its okay to buy that dress from Zara because there’s no such thing as ethical consumption under capitalism, so fuck it? No. Obviously. Criminal Minds is gross (though Reid is still hella cute) and fast fashion is terrible for both people and planet (so props to me for actually putting that dress back on the rack last week even though I didn’t look terrible in it and honestly I could use another shapeless sack in my wardrobe).  

As for the “Environmentalist” part of “The Lazy Environmentalist”I also feel more than a little weird about that too. The term is fucking loaded, and carries a lot of terrible history with it. The environmental movement has and still does a really god-awful job of caring about people (despite people being animals - woah who’s really eschewing anthropocentrism now, Tim*?!) But for real, forgetting the fact that from the purely cold, calculating, strategic reality that we can’t save the planet unless we have more people on board with the concept, and that we can’t do that effectively if we don’t speak to those in marginalized communities (those always most at risk to climate catastrophe) environmentalism has been not only ineffective and alienating for a fuck-ton of people over the decades-- environmentalists have been intensely harmful to people -- there are still environmentalists who think the best use of our time is to devastate Northern Communities by rallying against the seal hunt, and pushing veganism in communities that it simply doesn’t make sense for from a cultural/historical/geographic standpoint. Old school preservationist environmentalism is based in super gross settler ideas of manifest destiny, and protecting an “untouched” wilderness, ignoring the fact that Inuit, Anishnaabe, Mi’kmaq, Tsleil-Waututh, Cree, and hundreds of other Indigenous Nations lived QUITE HARMONIOUSLY on this land for EONS (and still do) before we settlers got here, thought of ourselves as separate from the land, parcelled it up, sold it off, decided to ~protect~ a fraction because God said so or whatever, and generally started fucking shit up. 

So yeah, the term Environmentalist kind of makes me feel uneasy, as it should,  because it carries with it a history of violence-- a history that is still being perpetuated today. 

That being said, the term environmentalist also makes me think of my Grandma (cute, right?) I don’t necessarily think she would have considered herself an environmentalist, but she was the single most compassionate, loving person I’ve ever known, and yes I idolize her and hold her to a standard that no one else will ever meet but that’s okay, because she was my Grandma and I’m supposed to think she was perfect and magic. I mention my Grandma (her name was Lecetta) because she’s who made my into a little lazy environmentalist. She took me on trips to see Manatee rehab centres in Florida, walks through the Carolinian forest near her house, and swimming in Lake Huron. On the days we were inside we watched PBS nature documentaries and read books about wildlife in North America and on Saturday mornings she’d sit with me as I sobbed during WWF infomercials in what I realize now was a pretty weird weekly self-flagellation ritual. What I’m trying to say with this bizarre tangent is that the term “environmentalist” still holds some pretty earnest intention for me, and I’m remiss to entirely abandon the roots of what compels me to defend our home. 

So, circling back to what I’d initially tried to start saying with this post- I think I’m going to start writing here again. I think I’m going to see if this helps me be the sort of person I want to be: the still sometimes lazy, but still earnest environmentalist- trying to figure out what my place is- in the movement, in my community, on the planet, and simply within myself. 

*There’s no one named Tim

[vacationrentaljournal]

Reasons to Pick an Anna Maria Island Vacation Rental

A see to Florida is not total without a stop at Anna Maria Island, which boasts tidy, perfect beaches that keep travelers returning time and time once again, in part since there is simply absolutely nothing else rather like them. Integrate that with the just fantastic Florida weather condition and you the dish for a vacation that will supply memories that last a life time. Oceanfront Anna Maria Island Florida Home Rentals. You won’t be disappointed.

The island is not big but it boasts a powerful presence in the location, giving families a lot of choices when it concerns what they can see and do. This might be one of the reasons Anna Maria Island trip rentals are so popular.

  There are a few not to be missed experiences when on the Island.

First of all do not miss out on the opportunity to delight in a few of the best seafood in Florida at the ‘Rod and Reel Pier’. The Grouper sandwich has fans who say it is a not to be missed out on experience. Sit outside and gaze over the salt water and take in sightings of Dolphin, Stingray and a huge variety of different fish types.

For those in love with the beach daytime is not when the enjoyment requires to stop. When night falls locals and visitors can be seen on beach blankets taking in the stars in a sky that is devoid of light contamination. Load a night time picnic for an experience that you will never forget.

For an unwinded day of checking out lease a bike and meander throughout the Island. It’s the best way to find some of the covert gems that Anna Maria Island is well-known for. Stop and address your leisure. Appreciate the incredible views or visit for some beverages along the way. it’s the perfect day out.

For those interested in Anna Maria Island holiday rentals a visit to Findrentals.com is the perfect service to the finding that best rental which will make a visit to this magical Island that much more remarkable.

The Variety Of Vacation Homes Available Near Anna Maria Island: What You Can Look Forward To As A Vacationer

Like Water Sports? You Will Love Santa Maria Island. Book Now If I showed you that there is a traveler destination that provides easy beach access so that you can satisfy all of your water-based activities for example, jet skiing, canoeing, paddle boarding, and snorkeling all available on the ocean would you be interested? Don’t get ahead of yourself with picking out things to do every day of your trip, due to the fact that the even more urgent issue is first determining a vacation rental home where you can stay each night of the holiday that you’re planning on taking.Anna Maria Island is home to a number of rentals, nevertheless if you need to examine what’s offered on the island, then visit findrentals.com. The area around Anna Maria Island flaunts a variety of holiday rental designs and types. It’s essential to take the time to establish what type of vacation rental homes you ‘d like to reside in, so that you can love your whole vacation in Florida as much as possible for the entire time that you’ll reside in this spectacular destination.

Private Homes

Choose the right property to rent out for your upcoming vacation. Choose findrentals.com to get the most reliable rentals you can imagine. They find exclusive homes for you to rent that are both equally relaxing and fun. Vacation rentals can vary in overall size and can have one bedroom or perhaps even more than that. To fulfill your desire of renting a house, first figure how many rooms will be needed for the stay based on the amount of people who will be going on the vacation and will lodge along with you. Regardless of whether you have big family you are bringing with you, you can effortlessly discover a rental

Condos

Enjoy yourself while you stay in a condo, which is made easier by the fact that your short-term neighbors also include others on their own holidays.An outdoor swimming pool is just one of the various conveniences the condo units offer.If you do incline staying in an area that is not as personal yet still has a lot to provide, one of the condos in the location might deserve leasing.

Cottages

Also, this area has modest cottages that are available for rent. These homes are perfect if you enjoy the bed and breakfast kind of feel when traveling for vacation. A small cottage may provide a relaxing and welcoming environment that advises you of house while you are away from house and enjoying your time on Anna Maria Island.

There are numerous types of vacation leasings available on Anna Maria Island. Use FindRentals.com to discover exactly what you are looking for in a place to remain.

Anna Maria Island’s Hottest Places To Be.

As you explore the southern most parts of Florida, we would strongly suggest that you consider taking a stop at Anna Maria Island a minimum of when prior to you leave. The island has a lot to offer in regards to things to see and do. When you get here on the Island, Holmes Beach is the first place you will get to experience. Holmes Beach is the center city of this area and it has a lot to use. The very best part about the city is the Manatee Public Beach. The beach has a beach cafe where you can delight in the popular all you can consume pancakes and other savoury breakfast treats. They preferably have a beach shop, a play ground close-by and volley ball courts.

Those who travel to the north of the island will ultimately discover the city of Anna Maria.The location is finest checked out throughout the day and it ideally has a lot to provide from great restaurants, gift stores and other items that are popular in the Island. The Historical Anna Maria Pier is preferably located here, just off of Pine Opportunity. The 750 feet walk to the dining establishment is enchanting, to say the least. You can view local anglers tackle their work and also enjoy an exceptional view of the Skyway Bridge. If you go even more north of the Island, you will reach Bean Point. The location was called after George Emerson, who was the first permanent resident on the island. This is where he began developing the island back in the 1900’s.

Anna Maria Island is preferably house to the Historical Museum that includes the history of the island. You can also check out one of the most popular historical monoliths; the Old Anna Maria Jail. It was constructed in 1927 and the most interesting part about the prison is that it doesn’t have doors, windows, roofing system or bars.

The Absolute best Anna Marie Island Water Activities

While going to Anna Maria Island, there are a lot of various activities you can take part in, a great deal of which consist of spending a very long time having a good time in the water. If you are a fan of getting in the water and trying new things, you might be intrigued in taking part in a few of the most exciting Anna Maria Island water activities that are readily available.

Kayaking

Go on a smooth journey throughout the water while riding in a kayak. One-seat and two-seat options are used, so do not hesitate to ride alone or with a loved one. Take your time and enjoy a leisurely flight throughout the water while getting in the ideal arm workout from moving those paddles backwards and forward as you ride around in the kayak.

Paddleboarding

Discover to balance yourself on the board and make your method through the water at your own speed. Even if you have really never been on a paddleboard previously, there are a number of proficient guides prepared to expose you the way. When you have really handled to get the hang of stabilizing your body on the board, you will easily begin to ride through the water like a pro.

Snorkeling

Want to get a fantastic view of the fish and other species that are living at the bottom of the ocean? If so, you can go on an exciting snorkeling experience. Lease the equipment you will require to have and start. Experienced guides are there to aid beginners, so you can feel comfortable while you are snorkeling throughout the water and trying to get a kick out of the view in front of you.

Enjoy your time in Anna Maria Island while taking part in all sort of water activities. You will have rather the experience attempting new things, whether you are kayaking, paddleboarding, snorkeling, or doing something else in the water that is intriguing.

from Branding Bombs https://brandingbombs.wordpress.com/2018/11/10/reasons-to-pick-an-anna-maria-island-vacation-rental/

[graysonslittlebird]

okay so I found this list of head canons from @cigarettesmokeandexyracquets​ and with her permission I’ve written a short fic based off one of them cause honestly it was too good

warning for blood, swearing and homophobic slurs both said and implied.

It wasn't that the music was louder than usual, or the lights any brighter but something was off. Andrew scanned the dark crowd for anything that might stand out, but damn it all he couldn't see a thing.

Their game that night hadn't gone without a few hitches, regardless of their win. The Florida Manatee's proved to be a violent team and though they'd been handed their fair share of red cards they hadn't seemed to back off Neil, throwing in a slew of colorful slurs enough that he'd warned Andrew he was getting drunk tonight.

At first, it hadn't seemed like a problem and the sudden grasp of his own control intrigued the goalie. He was beginning to regret that.

Kevin sat at his side waiting impatiently for Neil to return from the bar. Nicky and Aaron were a blurred mess on the dance floor and Andrew was thirty seconds away from fetching Neil himself.

It didn't take him long to spot what had set him off in the first place; caused the uneasiness that had him kicking himself for taking the cracker dust at all. Across the floor and approaching  the bar at a grotesque six foot six, Jason McCartney stalked over to the bar and it didn't take him long to find Neil chatting with Roland. An ugly grin spread across his uneven  jaw and he greeted Neil with a hard shove.

Andrew got up immediately only turning on Kevin long enough to give him a harsh "Stay here. Don't fucking move."

He'd already waited too long, his eyes frantic as they scanned through the swarm of people for the quickest way to Neil. A cluster of dancers moved into his way and seemed to find it funny that he couldn't get through. He was all but ready to pull one of his blades when a shout rippled through the club.

"I'm not done talking to you fairy boy!"

Neil murmured something to the giant before turning his back on him, hands full with a tray of drinks. That appeared to be the wrong move. Jason reached across the bar for a bottle before winding back and smashing it hard across Neil's shoulders. His legs gave out and he collapsed ontop of the tray with a yelp.

Andrew ripped a knife from his arm bands, the crowd scattering with panicked cries. To his absolute surprise  he wasn't the first one to make it to Jason. He watched with grim amusement and curiosity as Aaron jumped up onto the bar before lunging at Jason, taking him down to the hard floor. Nicky rushed over to Neil who was slurring something in French.

"Get Kevin, let's go!" Nicky shouted. attempting poorly to pick up a slumping Neil.

Andrew spared a glance at his twin who against all odds was holding his own against the monster.

"If you EVER come near him again I will actually fucking kill you do you hear me??" He demanded with a punch, his hands bloodied, from who exactly Andrew couldn't tell.

"Aaron," he called for his brother.

Like a trigger Aaron neatly stopped mid punch and neatly dismounted from on top of Jason before he took up Neil's other side to help Nicky. He didn't have to go back for Kevin, the striker hovered behind Andrew in clear disregard for the previous warning.

"We're leaving." Andrew slipped his knife away quickly and turned to allow Aaron and Nicky to pass but not before watching with satisfaction as security peeled Jason off the club floor.

It took a few tries to get Neil into the backseat of the car, both Nicky and Aaron's hands slick with blood. Andrew frowned but didn't say anything on the drive back. Nicky prattled on, trying his hardest to keep Neil awake. Andrew didn't miss how Aaron said nothing and how Neil's shirt was now damp.

The drive to Abby's was quick and he pulled into the driveway with such urgency he was surprised he didn't bull down the mailbox. He pulled out his phone, flipped it open and dialed a single number before placing it to his ear.

"Come outside." was all he said before snapping the phone closed.

That was apparently everyone else's que to get out of the car. Kevin got out and waited uselessly on the side while Aaron and Nicky maneuvered awkwardly to get Neil out of the car. Andrew didn't wait and marched up to the front door, expertly lighting a cigarette on his way. He wasn't entirely surprised to find Wymack waiting at the door, Abby waiting tentatively behind him.

"Give me one good reason in five words or less not to send you ass--"

He couldn't tell if it was the look on Andrew's face that forced him to back down or Neil drooling behind him.

"He fell." Andrew drawled, pushing past the gaping coach.

It took them longer than he would have liked to get Neil down on the couch and he shot both Aaron and Nicky warning glares when he yelped in pain.

"Get out." he turned on the rest of his group.  

"But--" Nicky started, but Aaron just pulled him away through the kitchen and Abby got to work ripping open Neil's shirt to expose his chest. He took a long haul from his cigarette, clenching his fist. Abby sighed but didn't stop working on picking the bits of glass across his chest.

"David, I need you to get me a damp face cloth so I can clean up some of this blood."

"There's probably more in his back." Andrew pointed out, keeping his voice level and bored.

"Andrew, I know you went to Columbia tonight. What happened?" Wymack asked carefully, handing the wet cloth to Abby who began patting at Neil's chest carefully.

"McCartney followed us," he started, his eyes on Neil the whole time he spoke, "Called him some...unfavorable words. Neil walked away and McCartney hit him with a bottle." he took another haul from his cigarette  before dropping it in the small bowl of glass shards Abby placed on the table.

Wymack ran his hands through his thick hair with a heavy sigh, "I'll go call his coach."

Andrew didn't stop him, and allowed himself another long stare at Neil. His breathing was ragged, his teeth red with blood. His chest was a mess, but Andrew had a sinking feeling this was far from the worst thing he'd been through. He didn't say anything before turning away from him and made his way through the kitchen where Aaron, Nicky and Kevin sat around the kitchen table.

"Why did you do it?" Andrew asked bluntly, his focus entirely on Aaron.

If it were possible for the room to get even quieter it would have then. All Aaron did was stiffen and avert his gaze.

"What are you talking about?"

Andrew noticed an empty coffee mug on the counter beside him and knocked it over wordlessly. The ceramic mug hit the tile floor and both Kevin and Nicky jumped out of their seats dramatically to avoid injury.

"If someone had actually beat him to death right then and there it would have put the season at risk," Aaron said unconvincingly, "Besides. He's your family right? I'm not putting up with your bitching if he gets himself killed." he finished in German.

Kevin's eyes narrowed at the sudden language change and Nicky just gaped at the twins. Andrew nodded and walked back to the living room.

"I'm dreaming right?" he could hear Nicky babbling, "I'm just too drunk, yeah, that's what it is."

He threw himself onto the last cushion on the couch, and lifted Neil's feet onto his lap.

"He's going to be fine." Abby assured him, sparing a second to look at the boy.

"I didn't ask."

But he didn't have to ask. He knew he was going to be fine. He wouldn't allow for anything else, and much to his discreet pleasure, neither would Aaron.

[gatorjbone]

MOUNT DORA HALF MARATHON - December 22, 2019

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.  Glenda’s birthday, our anniversary, the holidays, and of course…the Mount Dora Half Marathon.

I am a big fan of this race.  I’ve participated all eight years, and I absolutely love the course. Glenda and I left around noon on Friday, with Rachel declining our invitation to tag along this year.  Friday was our anniversary (38 years), and I’m sure “G$” would have had other plans for the weekend.  The cottage we usually stay in at the

Historic Mount Dora Inn

was taken, so Melanie put us in the “Tin-Roof” cottage.  It’s a two-story building, which meant we would have to schlep all of our bags up a flight of stairs.  That notwithstanding, it was extremely nice, and we kept the windows open the whole time.  The temperature was predicted to be in the high-sixties/low-seventies for most of the weekend, with very little rain…except for race time.  Based on all forecasts, there was a good chance I could be running in a monsoon.  In fact, the race sent out emails earlier in the week preparing us for the soggy conditions.  I’ve run in the rain before, and was not going to let this “dampen” my fun (see what I just did there?).  We stopped by

The Cellar Door Tasting Room & Wine Bar

for an anniversary drink, and then supper at the

Goblin Market

.  We haven’t eaten there in about five years, mostly because it’s tough to get reservations, and the youngins don’t really dig the menu.  We sat outside, and took advantage of the cooler temperatures.  We then walked around to check out the lights, which are truly second to none.

  The one real drawback to coming to Mount Dora is that there isn’t much to do locally.  This year, Glenda and I were determined to make the most out of our Saturday afternoon.  After deciding on the local flea market and antique mall, Melanie suggested we visit Blue Spring State Park.  Since I’m very much into the “great outdoors,” this was a no-brainer for me.  On the other hand, Glenda needed a little more convincing.  We did our usual brunch at

One Flight Up

, where I solicited the opinions of as many people as I could.  They all have very favorable feedback of the park, and I think I was starting to sway Glenda.  We then walked across the street to

Donnelly Park

to pick up my race packet.  I had a long conversation with the race director Vicky (who is super-nice) about how this race has not succumbed to big corporations trying to take over the management of the event; this gave me even more appreciation of her hard work in keeping this a first-class event.  I told her that I would be running in my Hanukkah shirt, and may be the only Jewish person in the race.  Vicky quickly reminded me that she was Jewish, and there were 50 families who are members of the

Traditional Congregation of Mount Dora

(she was actually missing services to work the expo).  She then introduced us to legendary marathon great

Bill Rogers,

who is a regular at this race.   It was now time to hit the road, and make our way to our outdoor adventure.

Blue Spring State Park

is a state park located west of Orange City. Activities include canoeing, SCUBA diving, kayaking, fishing, camping, hiking, wildlife watching, and swimming. The spring in the Park (Volusia Blue Spring) is the largest on the St. Johns River. Thanks to its relatively warm temperature of 73°, the spring attracts many Florida manatees during the winter months.  Believe it or not, I have never seen a manatee out in the wild; since it was manatee season, the park was closed to all water activities (not that we would partake in any of them).  It was about a 45-minute drive, and the park was not crowded at all.  We walked along the boardwalk, and were able to see a good number of manatees.  The weather was great, and I could tell that Glenda was glad she let me impose my will on her.  Back in Mount Dora, we did some shopping, and then did an early supper at

The Frog and Monkey

.  This was a first for us, as our usual spots had too long of a wait.  It had not started to rain yet, but if you looked at the radar, you could see the impending doom.  Since we slept with the windows open, I could hear the rain starting to come down around 1am.  I didn’t sleep much that night, and the rain never stopped.

       As my alarm sounded at 5am, it was still raining.  Not hard, but enough to consider breaking out the poncho.  The plan was to wear the poncho before the start of the race, and maybe take if off once the race started (weather permitting).  The starting line is only 5 minutes from the cottage, so it would truly be a race-time decision.  As I started to walk over, the rain had totally stopped.  It was truly a holiday miracle!  I had not taken my poncho out of the package yet, so I stuffed it in my pocket, just in case. 

796

took to the starting line, which was 44 less that last year.  Considering the forecast, I would say that was a win.  Apparently, I was not the only Jewish person entered in this race, as my Hanukkah shirt attracted many others of the same religion.  Once the gun sounded, it started to rain again.  Since it rained all night, the course was wet, but there were no puddles.  I was a little winded in the beginning, but nothing too serious.  I don’t particularly like wearing a hat when I run, but it was necessary.  The rain was constant for most of the race, but only sprinkles.  The inclement weather kept the sun at bay, but I wish it were a bit cooler.  I was running very strong, and really enjoying the sights.

  As I reached the ten-mile turnaround, there were three things that were glaringly obvious: First, there were a lot of runners behind me (which was great for my ego).  Second, I was definitely going to finish under three hours!  Third, the rain had totally stopped.  With a little more than one mile to go, the three-hour pace group caught up to me.  I looked at them and said…

NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND

, and pulled away from the pack.  I crossed the finish line with time to spare, and Glenda was there to snap some photos.  The finisher medal was very nice, and totally different every year (which I totally appreciate).

       This was arguably the most enjoyable Mount Dora weekend ever.  Next year, the race is actually on our anniversary.  I can’t think of a better way to celebrate...

...I’m sure Glenda can.

[terencehawkins]

STONE COMMUTATION, PORTLAND: THINGS ARE GOING WEIMAR

The recent commutation of Roger Stones’ s sentence triggered the usual fruitless speculation about the “strategy” behind it. Generally, the current incumbent of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is no more capable of thinking beyond today than an Adderall-crazed lab rat desperate for another food pellet. But there is something behind this, and it’s not what the commentariat generally thinks.

LOYALTY? HA!

The immediate, and most obvious, explanation for this politically risky move was that Trump was paying back his loyal consigliere for years of service and, more importantly, keeping his pie-hole shut. Nonsense. On the first point, Trump is famously incapable of loyalty, gratitude, or any other emotion that doesn’t result in cash or an erection. As to the second, Paul Manafort was similarly laconic, yet remains in Federal custody, albeit now on home release.

Hmm. Why the distiction?

THE DIRTY TRICKSTER

Roger Stone has built his latter-day career as a self-professed “dirty trickster.” One stops for a moment to ask why he says so out loud—do spies put “spy” on their business cards?

But leave that aside. Let’s turn for a moment to Stone’s arc. He started out in politics as a Nixon campaign intern—he famously has Tricky Dick tattooed on his back, which no doubt would have proven a point of interest, if not a spooge target, in the showers had he actually begun his sentence—where he carried out some amusing low-grade antics in Nixon’s service. He parlayed that into a career as a K Street lobbyist in the 80’s, where his partner was—what? Paul Manafort. Despite the appeal of these nesting Ukrainian dolls, let’s take a look at the irrelevant, albeit extremely entertaining, interruption in his political career.

in 1996, Stone was a consultant with GOP Senator Robert Dole’s Presidential campaign. That hit a tabloid wall when it was discovered that Stone and his second wife had taken out space in a swingers’ magazine looking for an “exceptional well hung in shape men” for threesomes.

To be clear, Stone was advertising for men to fuck his wife while he watched. While Trump’s GOP may be cool with that, Dole’s wasn’t. Despite frantic deployment of the Trumpian tactic of blame-shifting—Stone claimed that the usual “disgruntled employee” with a “drug problem” had somehow coopered all this up—-his conservative political career appeared to be done. (He finally admitted the truth in 2008.)

Despite his ouster from mainstream politics, Stone’s public malice continued unabated. For example, he organized the celebrated Brooks Brothers Riot that disprupted the 2000 Florida recounts; has been accused of forging the 2004 Killian Memos that called into question W’s military service but, when proved fake, ended Dan Rather’s career; and was involved in the prostitution scandal that ended the political life of New York Governor Elliot Spitzer. And all the while cultivating a public persona as Best Dressed Man of 1939.

GET ME ROGER STONE

Stone’s bizarre and squalid career was famously documented in a 2016 Netflix film, “Get Me Roger Stone.” The burden of the title was, in part, that Stone wanted to be the guy you called when things were totally sideways and the only way out was to stick some dead male escorts in your opponent’s bed. A man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for, right?

And that—in part, maybe—is what the commutation signifies. Or so argued GMRS producer Dylan Blank in a recent NYT op-ed.

See, even though he rages and kicks at his campaign staff like Henry VIII in a neurosyphilis seizure, whatever rational part is left of Trump’s brain recognizes that he is in very deep electoral shit. Which shit exposes him not only to the ultimate narcissistic injury of a landslide loss, but worse, the existential threat of post-Presidential prosecution for himself and his family. He just can’t afford to lose. Thus he reasons that in order to prevail in this battle of all against all, he needs the help of the dirtiest dirty trickster he can get—Roger Stone.

Hence the commutation. Trump needs Stone’s help.

But is that all?

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE: THE PROUD BOYS

Trump’s reliance on this Homburged freak may be based on something else as well. Since 2016 Stone has cultivated an association with the Proud Boys, a ”Western Chauvinist”—i.e, white nationalist Islamophobe fascist—network of street fighters founded by Gavin McInnes, who in a move whose reasons defy inquiry, sought to refute claims of homophobia by sticking a dildo up his ass in a TV interview. (Click here for images you will not be able to unsee.) The Boys’ initiation includes getting the shit beaten out of them while reciting pop culture trivia and taking a pledge to limit masturbation to once a month—particularly burdensome in view of the rudimentary social lives of most alt.right bros. In addition to these entertainments, the Proud Boys have engaged in a lengthy campaign of public violence and intimidation, including an appearance with their fellow very fine people at Charlottesville in 2017.

Stone’s engagement with the Boys is not merely casual. He is, in fact, an affiliate member, having sworn the Boys’ oath not to apologize for creating modern civilization. (I am not making this up.) In return for the sheen of “respectability” Stone has lent them, the Boys have served as bodyguards, escorting him to and from his frequent judicial hearings and proclaiming his innocence from the courthouse steps. In chorus.

Is it a coincidence that Trump sprang a right wing thug with a following of street-fighting fascists? Incidentally, note the fellow on Stone’s left, in the buttoned-up polo? That black-and-gold shirt is the PB’s unofficial uniform.

CONNECTING THE DOTS

So let’s see. We’ve ruled out gratitude or loyalty as motives for the commutation. What does Trump need from Roger Stone that he can’t get someplace else? His expertise in the political black arts doesn’t pass muster—he’s not the only asshole in Washington, or these days, nor even the biggest. And let’s not forget that Trump is more than willing to recruit aid from shithole countries happy to remake America in their own image. So no, there’s nothing about Stone’s skill set that makes him indispensable. So what does he bring to the table that Trump wants?

Just this weekend, Trump tipped his hand. Deploying masked, anonymous federal troops in unmarked vans to Portland, with the blessing of his lovable roly-poly Interior Minister Barr—who’d previously okayed the use of tear gas against peaceful protesters so Trump could waddle across the street for a photo op— was the warmup for his election day ace in the hole: full on street violence. Weimar style.

Voter suppression has been the centerpiece of GOP election strategy for decades. It’s unavoidable—as "The Wire’s Baltimore mayoral candidate Tommy Carcetti noted, his hopes were slim because “I wake up white in a city that ain’t.” A party of old white men in an increasingly brown country faces an obvious, existential challenge. One it will ultimately lose, of course, but until then, it can eke out a few more good cycles, with their resultant Federalist Society judges, regulatory rollbacks, and hedge funder tax cuts. But only by making damn sure that minorities don’t vote. Especially in swing states.

Previously, the GOP had played what now seems like softball—gerrymandering, closing polling stations in minority districts, sowing confusion as to the election date. But that won’t work this time. Trump’s response to plague and racial crisis and his plummeting polls has thus far been to flounder and howl like a manatee chopped up in the prop. But in the clutch, unconstrained by any respect for norms, terrified by the prospect of post-presidential prosecution, he’s going to toss the GOP playbook and move with the Nazi.

The Brownshirts, or SA, were Hitler’s paramilitary before his 1933 seizure of power. They were beerhall bullies whose job was “security,” ostensibly protected the Nazi leadership at their public events, in reality intimidating its leftist opponents. It played a critical role in the elections of 1928, 1930, and 1932, showing up at the polls to fight Communist supporters and blocking access to voters in left-leaning districts. And of course, after Hitler was securely Fuhrer, they were the principal executors of the Kristallnacht pogrom.

So here’s what’s going to happen. On Election Day, in urban polling places in swing states, Proud Boys are going to show up as “pollwatchers.” And as soon as black and brown people start showing up in numbers, they’re going to start kicking ass. It doesn’t have to happen a lot. It doesn’t have to happen everywhere. But it will do a lot of damage to turnout. And the thing about Election Day is that it’s just one day, and no do-overs, full stop. So whatever damage is done can’t be undone, ever. So a second term secured by street violence can be reversed only by impeachment. And we know how that went.

Think it can’t happen? See below. Especially the last line: “You still think you can control them?”

[top1course]

How To Create “Generational Wealth” w/ TRILLION Dollar Man – Dan Peña

Well then I mean I’m thrilled that you’re here, after so many years that were in the trophy room a lot of dead things in this room, and I’m looking forward to being with your group in 10 days, and maybe I’ll add a header to, from assembly, pictures, but seriously I’m looking forward to it, and for you to come back after all these years and see, such a dramatic difference, and at a seminar we were teasing me saying, when you were here, that was from 456 of you I gave you the information, i pounded for a week or so and then I kicked in the butt kicked out the door, no Mentor program no nothing no nothing you just did, just made it on your own and a lot of guys didn’t make it on their own, and so, cuz now, other than hold their hand when they’re taking a pee, I mean they have all this stuff that’s, it’s in the process of cyst, procedures, and templates after, the templates, mm slides and documents after document, why is my remarkable, 10 years later but it’s, am I, silent 27th year, it is quite remarkable and the fact that you saw on the webinars, the last of the second the second to the last guy, that was one of my current success stories, the Canadian even though I teased the Canadian, he’s making it happen, and when you guys go back on your 124, let’s go back to Canada there’s no competition, and it ain’t creating now you know what generational wealth, and you’ve already been a super success and now you’ve come back to, put some fine edges on your model, and to grow it based on your previous, success and based on your previous and current and future brand I mean you’re going to knock, Correct D1 you said that, i’m so familiar, immerse my, watch the video listen to audio, hundred, but, the castle seven, when I can, and I’m shocked, but how young, 20 something, 17 years, i’m doing deals, i’m from, man woman, from all walks of life, different backgrounds right, the different backgrounds, cretin, and the, and I kind of Shame, when we saw the 17 18 19 20 rolls, doing this you know I’m kind of Shame the older generation, hawaii demographics have changed, when you were here at there was a 35, and now it’s 15, 235, and we have a profound preponderance, avion kids, and you were actually the average age, abu, the oldest was 55, youngest was 18 in this group, and as averages a37, and it it’s quite remarkable and ever we had a lot of Canadians, in this group and we had five women which is not normal, they don’t know me at 5 we don’t have one to maximum 3, But the opportunities Hill.

As I said interest rates are the lowest rate in 5,000 years and they’re literally throwing money out the door at your group having to be, we are just at the ideal time because, 75% of all commercial bank loans are made the last 90 days of the counter deer and will why is it easier, videos at the end of the year, because the banks want to pay bonuses, i took a Bank employees is that, ionians, familiar with, it sometimes, see maybe beat, deals on, and they think I don’t know if, sometimes, oasis, about, you know self-esteem, and that’s part of it, but can you walk assuage, what’s the, as you mentioned it so, a commercial., that base model that I copied off of Andrew Carnegie, did he get a hundred years ago, and the old man, Acquainted. It was just out from down the road, ian Scotland he didn’t like Equity investors because it would reduce his ownership, so he did everything humanly possible just to borrow, money from Commercial Bank, and what it is we’re buying businesses to motivated sellers, motivational Normani mom-and-pop, from 1 to 325 million dollars in Revenue total revenue whereas, totally Finance from a bank and if the bank that cannot be covered by the existing free cash flow, then we had a great commercial debt like a Royal Bank of Canada Bank of America whatever, and they are we’re buying these and the kids, are creating generational wealth, well that we normally take 20-25 years, create and 3 to 7 years, 3 years if they do everything right, 7 years of alien, f****** something, and I’m currently am I poster child, is that an out 21 year old but he was 17 year old, josh camaquin kid, who is going to be a multi-millionaire, By riding his own jet plane now, he came to me, as a 17 year old had a 15 speed bicycle, that only after they had that was as collateral for the loan, and we’re buying in various areas, healthcare Telco, are the two hottest areas in Tellico has morphed into, cyber security, internet internet, exactly but Healthcare, it’s hot, i bet I mean is all kinds of species that are hot but slightly sarcastic, mortuary, crematoriums, funeral homes, are all hot assisted living is the hottest and we called bedpans the lowest level, an assisted living place in Country Club Assisted Living where they have golf courses tennis courts, basketball courts, all the way down to bed pans weather, poor old people in a in a room, and the doctor comes at once or twice a week Assisted Living especially for healthcare, my generation is going to die, And you spend, whatever my day and their families, cars mini whatever money the team alive to big success stories of my panties, one restaurant, the current senator of, state of Florida where I was born, he started, columbia Healthcare what’s going to be the largest Healthcare company in the world back in the late 80s early 90s, and here in Britain, we were the founders of the idea, four Seasons Healthcare, which was the largest Healthcare roll up, assisted Living, and you’re up, and again another one of my manatees was at the Forefront of that and those videos of the hundreds of millions and billions, but there is much smaller deal, that have been done in the middle, and the kids would no money of Their Own, that’s the key, no money of Their Own, fairly quickly build up net worth of several million dollars, Are you ready Canadian kid today.

On the webinar, from Toronto I believe it’s been gone from the seminar 37 days, your head to the seminar in July is knocking it out of the park he should complete his, his first acquisition in the next few weeks, any just attended East 34 years old, father of 75, and he saw me, truview, a lot of the kids see me through you can back in the group that it was here several of the kids are here because of you speak favorably, i mean they wanted me to high-tech his clothes in Coolmath with him, pennsylvania, then we talked about, my relationship with you, we showed some pictures of you 2003, wedge, is hard to believe that was you, but I know it was you because you hear some glasses, pimple face, and on the 13th request when my secretary said yes, which is a diopter, To say, understand like I was a kid, i got nothing to, to offer, you know what this, any wasn’t, anyone sing like, cleveland, not the, oh I spend 5 minutes with, we spend at, dragon breath, intense times, very valuable, didn’t notice, from Adam, the offer, but it’s, just to me it was, turning point of my, it’s almost like, having in, i believe in you, cuz I don’t like, beetling believe, tractor, what to do, you got some for 10, dolly Parton, well and Anna and I was fortunate that I am considered a good pic of talent, and I’m a good pic of Rothschild, but I saw that first of all you made the commitment to fly down, and I didn’t even think about the cost of the airline, didn’t even dawn on me because beds, that was not a a small speed bump for you, but you got down there and we had breakfast, Is a couple of a couple hours, and you did, much of what I suggested and we kept in contact over the years, ultimately a few years later, what kind of sandwich you know you’ve been one of the price of my mentorship and, my Association, baybayin, extremely successful your brand is a big f****** deal, and if I don’t say so myself, and into people I do, i’ve indirectly touched minions, oh yeah because you’ve touched, how do you stand to smell the leather, abilities, you’re picking up the phone right, fancy it just do closing, what is the same, spirit, cracked, it’s almost like, qla basic moon phases, the kindergarten, and the fact that you not attempted but you, brought to fruition being all you can be, and that’s the basic Ula, and you hear it in your voice you hear it in your whole grams I watch your videos of the kids don’t believe in them, Enough, you think that they could aspire to doing some of the things that you’ve done, and then you got it, what they don’t realize is that you were them, okay that’s hard for them to Grass because now they see where you are, today correct, imagine, how f***** up, we all buy a pair, and you will challenge, whatever whatever you believe, house, the program, looking for you, oh well they my dad was a believe in tough love, he transcended tough love to get whacked a lot, i deserved all the beatings I got I’m not complaining about that, but in today’s environment would be considered, child abuse continues to beat me up, but the the kids that we have live bubble wrap lives, the kids did you know I had really no week, Week week.

Saab, 11 parents of Love got the job done, we would be having Wars, if love got the job done, and religion in love got the job done today that would be the stripes, any battles around the world, but, my father used to ask his brother and sister, when they said Manny, my father’s first name, angelita Ruffin, come back and waist sister day, well how’s your crack w**** daughter doing, how’s your program with her working out, and how is your jail written son, to his brother about his son how is your phone working, and even though my dad was very harsh on me, is Pokemon, and I’ve been here a long time, and the one time they visited for a few days, and we’re walking we walked into the drawing-room what you’ve been in, and I got my arm around the shoulder and he looks at me and he says, Just tell me it’s not drugs, because the only thing that he can relate to, that made that much money that quickly, had to be drug-related, has to be legal, it’s kind of addictive but their your legal fees legal, and so that’s he was happy as hell but I mean your programs for the kids are watching age, how’s your program workout, how do self help for personal development workout for you, probably not too well, the only thing that probably is a workout for you, is Euro training to Dan here, and high ticket closing, i mean that’s that’s that’s why the kids wasn’t it so much, could you give me an opportunity to make, my name is super six figures, that’s a big number, the most people, most of their parents in Nexus player, and when we’re at the black tie event in a week or ten days I’m looking forward to what I’ve looked at the video from last year, How they’re all going crazy and how you’re throwing money Adam and, and yoga are you going to get my car and all that, i’m looking forward to that end and help, lift their self esteem, little b******, has come forward, and you know and and give them their money’s worth, give me a good joke, and a but I mean, i started sales you and I were late because I started the sale, how does cells help, it seems to me, the ones who have, natural, salesman, south woman, play tent, oh absolutely, because they understand rejection, they understand cold calling, okay numbers gave me understand that unless you’ve been through some kind of sales process you don’t understand that, i don’t understand, and the first time somebody hang the phone up on you or says no to you, And I you take it personally, and it’s not what happens to us in life, it’s how we interpret what happens to us in life, anna and salespeople know that you’ve got to take it to a lottery Jackson, a lot of nose, now the better you are the sales person, the better the closer you are, get last node, directions work, i even get nose and I consider myself a world-class salesman, i mean I get nose I get a rejection, but there are much fewer than when I started my career, you know decades ago, and I ended up getting back to the sales Visa V the qla, the more you can handle the rejection the more you can handle, the other nose, to get to the yeses, how are the probability you going to be all you can be, Sooner than later and that’s why.

Salespeople, the guys in the gals do much better in the beginning especially, because they’re used to, make a note sales calls never made a sales call, canova’s, anxiety, did you tell her you need a lot of, lawsuit, yep, 28cm is not different not all that different selling a product, selling the furniture, institution, and I think, most difficult thing is, because when we selling the product, we could say hey, this is the product this is, good or bad whatever, bacio a whistling noise, correctly put ourselves on the line, when we are pushing a board member, it’s a yes or no they’re not saying yes or no, to a product and yes, correct, adding decimals, correct and that we have two bank accounts in life we have emotional bank account we have a financial bank, most people are taught by their parents wrongly said that you should be more concerned about your financial bank, That’s not the one that your emotional baggage how well do you take, when things don’t go your way, how well do you take when your back’s against the wall and you got to perform, i ended the bigger your emotional bank account, ultimately the financial bank, following creates, generational welfare yourself we’ve been out of 26 years, we created a 775 billion dollars, trulia, 50 billion dollar man suit, but the, fast approaching a trillion dollars, and I’m here to stay until I reach a trillion dollars, and as I said during summer I’ve got three or four guys and gals still working on 23 billion dollar deal, that I’m obviously keeping my fingers crossed weather January 18th in London at the Sofitel Hotel, it’s the first time and I will have given, outside this Castle, in 20 years, The century to try to keep up with demand because our seminars are all sold out this year, and right now I’m holding back, my gunpowder I’m saying when mr. Trump gets re-elected if asked I Will Survive got the two movies, three documentaries and two books, that I’m studying with I’m going to go forward and that’s all out of work, okay, dental Works, consider a sphere lucky, vacuum, thank you in it and it’s great to have you and, and your wife and, and Desmond here I take a lot of time out of your schedule and I’m looking forward to you guys when you come back for the hardcore, jasmine Lister, the night’s not over so I’m not making any promises, choking, but I’m sure some of the b****** in your, remind me choking him program, has strict parameters, hi benchmarks because what gets measured gets a cop, And and we we could type measurement, on the kids as they go through the mentor program watch this, the seminar ends today, and when you go back to your homes are all over the world got a great group and they is my job my time, ask my Endeavor to keep you headed towards to go high for these next months, why you’re in the mentor program our relationship supersedes at because we’ve known each other a long time I get excited, window and when I see these things accomplished, and I just had my 74th birthday in the Paul I’m still fit I’m still healthy and I plan on doing this as long as I’m healthy and, until I reach a trillion dollars, okay, and I’m sure that the my house though hold-ups it’s been a lot of fun it’s this room, is remanence, the previous life and I used to be a professional Hunter cuz I’m not anymore I haven’t killed any, Animals in almost thirty years it’s very significant in.

That was a benchmark in my life now a trillion dollars is a big part of my life to seeing you so damn successful, is another Benchmark in my life, i’m into they said that I can assist you and moving forward as we discussed this week, you know you can count on me and the first step will be, for me to attend your seminar Sallie Mae Yorkshire why but they had some fun jumping, stage, choking some of those little s***,

from WordPress https://top1course.com/how-to-create-generational-wealth-w-trillion-dollar-man-dan-pena/

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Florida

New Post has been published on https://mmakeover.com/florida/

Florida

Mommy Makeover Benefits in Florida

Get rid of your fat rolls

No matter how much you diet or exercise, you might not be able to reduce those fat rolls deposited in various areas of your Post-pregnant body. If fat rolls are getting in the way of your appearance, the only way to say goodbye to them is through liposuction. This mommy makeover Florida procedure can be used on any part of your body where excess fat is concentrated which might be affecting your body shape.

Regain your youthful body

Women of nowadays, are not ready to surrender their young body, and that’s why the idea of having a mommy makeover procedure sounds amazing to their ears. With just a simple facelift procedure, it will have you looking much younger than before. By getting rid of those wrinkles and making your cheekbones firm again

Boost in confidence

For women in Florida, this procedure will leave you full of confidence. As you will be able to do things you usually do in your younger days, like walking around the beach in your bikinis with your partner. It also serves as a breath of fresh air for women, as you will be rejuvenated, and will experience improvements in your sex life.

  Make your breast firm once more

Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding often take a significant toll on a woman’s body, and the breast is one of the areas majorly affected, as they will be left saggy. There’s nothing much a woman can do to restore her youthful bounce, except to get a breast lift. This mommy makeover procedure will remove the excess fat around the chest regions and make your breast firm and high once again.

Beautiful women in Florida are always on par with the latest trends and are benefiting massively from having a mommy makeover.

About Florida

It is nicknamed ” the sunshine state. ” Florida is the southeasternmost US state, with the Atlantic on one side, and the Gulf of Mexico on the other. It has hundreds of miles of beaches. Its most populated Urban city, Miami is known for its Latin-America influence, notable art scene, and party nightlife, especially on the South Beach.

There are other famous cities like Orlando especially for its tourist attractions with things like theme parks, Walt Disney World. Various wildlife like the American alligator, American Flamingo, American crocodile, Florida panther, and manatee can be found in Everglades National Park, located in the southern part of the state.

Florida is one of the fastest growing states, with a population of over 20 million people living here, and that makes it the third most populated state in the United States. The state’s economy relies majorly on tourism, agriculture, and transportation. It’s a state also know for amusement parks, orange crops, winter vegetables, the Kennedy space center, etc.

Walking on a beach in Florida, you can find beautiful women and mothers proudly walking around in their bikinis, despite going through pregnancy and childbirth some years ago. And this is as a result of a mommy makeover. The mothers in Florida have been benefiting from these procedures for years now.

Mommy makeover processes in Brandon, FL Clearwater mommy makeover procedures Things to consider when going for a mommy makeover in Coral Springs Mommy makeover Destin, FL treatments Mommy makeover Fort Lauderdale Costs associated with a mommy makeover in Fort Myers Gainesville – a place to get a mommy makeover

Mommy Makeover surgery in Hollywood Florida Surgical procedures included in a mommy makeover Jacksonville, FL Finding a good mommy makeover Jupiter specialist Understanding a Melbourne, FL mommy makeover

How much does a mommy makeover in Miami go for? Associated costs of a mommy makeover Naples, FL Trending mommy makeover in Orlando Specific things to consider before a mommy makeover Palm Harbor, FL Where to get a mommy makeover in Pensacola

Mommy makeovers on the rise in Port St Lucie Sarasota Florida and mommy makeovers The healing process after a Mommy makeover in St Petersburg, FL Mommy makeover Tampa West Palm Beach mommy makeover trend

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Reasons to Pick an Anna Maria Island Vacation Rental

A see to Florida is not total without a stop at Anna Maria Island, which boasts tidy, perfect beaches that keep travelers returning time and time once again, in part since there is simply absolutely nothing else rather like them. Integrate that with the just fantastic Florida weather condition and you the dish for a vacation that will supply memories that last a life time. Oceanfront Anna Maria Island Florida Home Rentals. You won’t be disappointed.

The island is not big but it boasts a powerful presence in the location, giving families a lot of choices when it concerns what they can see and do. This might be one of the reasons Anna Maria Island trip rentals are so popular.

There are a few not to be missed experiences when on the Island.

First of all do not miss out on the opportunity to delight in a few of the best seafood in Florida at the ‘Rod and Reel Pier’. The Grouper sandwich has fans who say it is a not to be missed out on experience. Sit outside and gaze over the salt water and take in sightings of Dolphin, Stingray and a huge variety of different fish types.

For those in love with the beach daytime is not when the enjoyment requires to stop. When night falls locals and visitors can be seen on beach blankets taking in the stars in a sky that is devoid of light contamination. Load a night time picnic for an experience that you will never forget.

For an unwinded day of checking out lease a bike and meander throughout the Island. It’s the best way to find some of the covert gems that Anna Maria Island is well-known for. Stop and address your leisure. Appreciate the incredible views or visit for some beverages along the way. it’s the perfect day out.

For those interested in Anna Maria Island holiday rentals a visit to Findrentals.com is the perfect service to the finding that best rental which will make a visit to this magical Island that much more remarkable.

The Variety Of Vacation Homes Available Near Anna Maria Island: What You Can Look Forward To As A Vacationer

Like Water Sports? You Will Love Santa Maria Island. Book Now If I showed you that there is a traveler destination that provides easy beach access so that you can satisfy all of your water-based activities for example, jet skiing, canoeing, paddle boarding, and snorkeling all available on the ocean would you be interested? Don’t get ahead of yourself with picking out things to do every day of your trip, due to the fact that the even more urgent issue is first determining a vacation rental home where you can stay each night of the holiday that you’re planning on taking.Anna Maria Island is home to a number of rentals, nevertheless if you need to examine what’s offered on the island, then visit findrentals.com. The area around Anna Maria Island flaunts a variety of holiday rental designs and types. It’s essential to take the time to establish what type of vacation rental homes you ‘d like to reside in, so that you can love your whole vacation in Florida as much as possible for the entire time that you’ll reside in this spectacular destination.

Private Homes

Choose the right property to rent out for your upcoming vacation. Choose findrentals.com to get the most reliable rentals you can imagine. They find exclusive homes for you to rent that are both equally relaxing and fun. Vacation rentals can vary in overall size and can have one bedroom or perhaps even more than that. To fulfill your desire of renting a house, first figure how many rooms will be needed for the stay based on the amount of people who will be going on the vacation and will lodge along with you. Regardless of whether you have big family you are bringing with you, you can effortlessly discover a rental

Condos

Enjoy yourself while you stay in a condo, which is made easier by the fact that your short-term neighbors also include others on their own holidays.An outdoor swimming pool is just one of the various conveniences the condo units offer.If you do incline staying in an area that is not as personal yet still has a lot to provide, one of the condos in the location might deserve leasing.

Cottages

Also, this area has modest cottages that are available for rent. These homes are perfect if you enjoy the bed and breakfast kind of feel when traveling for vacation. A small cottage may provide a relaxing and welcoming environment that advises you of house while you are away from house and enjoying your time on Anna Maria Island.

There are numerous types of vacation leasings available on Anna Maria Island. Use FindRentals.com to discover exactly what you are looking for in a place to remain.

Anna Maria Island’s Hottest Places To Be.

As you explore the southern most parts of Florida, we would strongly suggest that you consider taking a stop at Anna Maria Island a minimum of when prior to you leave. The island has a lot to offer in regards to things to see and do. When you get here on the Island, Holmes Beach is the first place you will get to experience. Holmes Beach is the center city of this area and it has a lot to use. The very best part about the city is the Manatee Public Beach. The beach has a beach cafe where you can delight in the popular all you can consume pancakes and other savoury breakfast treats. They preferably have a beach shop, a play ground close-by and volley ball courts.

Those who travel to the north of the island will ultimately discover the city of Anna Maria.The location is finest checked out throughout the day and it ideally has a lot to provide from great restaurants, gift stores and other items that are popular in the Island. The Historical Anna Maria Pier is preferably located here, just off of Pine Opportunity. The 750 feet walk to the dining establishment is enchanting, to say the least. You can view local anglers tackle their work and also enjoy an exceptional view of the Skyway Bridge. If you go even more north of the Island, you will reach Bean Point. The location was called after George Emerson, who was the first permanent resident on the island. This is where he began developing the island back in the 1900’s.

Anna Maria Island is preferably house to the Historical Museum that includes the history of the island. You can also check out one of the most popular historical monoliths; the Old Anna Maria Jail. It was constructed in 1927 and the most interesting part about the prison is that it doesn’t have doors, windows, roofing system or bars.

The Absolute best Anna Marie Island Water Activities

While going to Anna Maria Island, there are a lot of various activities you can take part in, a great deal of which consist of spending a very long time having a good time in the water. If you are a fan of getting in the water and trying new things, you might be intrigued in taking part in a few of the most exciting Anna Maria Island water activities that are readily available.

Kayaking

Go on a smooth journey throughout the water while riding in a kayak. One-seat and two-seat options are used, so do not hesitate to ride alone or with a loved one. Take your time and enjoy a leisurely flight throughout the water while getting in the ideal arm workout from moving those paddles backwards and forward as you ride around in the kayak.

Paddleboarding

Discover to balance yourself on the board and make your method through the water at your own speed. Even if you have really never been on a paddleboard previously, there are a number of proficient guides prepared to expose you the way. When you have really handled to get the hang of stabilizing your body on the board, you will easily begin to ride through the water like a pro.

Snorkeling

Want to get a fantastic view of the fish and other species that are living at the bottom of the ocean? If so, you can go on an exciting snorkeling experience. Lease the equipment you will require to have and start. Experienced guides are there to aid beginners, so you can feel comfortable while you are snorkeling throughout the water and trying to get a kick out of the view in front of you.

Enjoy your time in Anna Maria Island while taking part in all sort of water activities. You will have rather the experience attempting new things, whether you are kayaking, paddleboarding, snorkeling, or doing something else in the water that is intriguing.

from Branding Bombs https://brandingbombs.wordpress.com/2018/11/10/reasons-to-pick-an-anna-maria-island-vacation-rental/ from Vacation Rental Daily https://vacationrentaldaily.tumblr.com/post/179954457762