#like i have to do with my main set up so i can cancel omens

[adhdvane]

okay, time to farm 70 veritas rip once i've done that (and maybe also farm the extra gospel for the character uncap), i'll just trade nwq for the remaining astra & ideans since i should get at least some along the way. at least arcarum even starts soon

[roy-dcm2]

My MTG animated pitch

I love Magic the Gathering. I was curious about the Netflix series, but it turns out it's been canceled. But, I love thinking about the potential of a MTG cartoon, and there are a couple of way to approach it, but I think the simplest way to do it just to create an isekai.

Magic is a really terrific brand, it has a HUGE amount of world building, but also a HUGE amount of technical jargon.

So, the goal of this hypothetical MTG isekai, is not really to teach players how to play, (We'd need a Yugioh style anime for that), the goal is to expose people to the terms that usually come up a typical game of MTG.

Like, right at the beginning, the main cast has to learn - you need to draw Mana from the world around you (Lands) in order to cast spells. (It doesn't always have to be Plains or Mountains, they could draw Red Mana from a furnace, or white / blue mana from a water fountain.)

There are some spells you can cast while you are moving, and there are some spells that require you to be standing still, like Instant and Sorcery.

And, you could summon creatures from the Aether to protect you, but most of them take a couple of seconds before they're ready to attack. (Summoning sickness).

Explain that, the spells you learn are like a Library in your mind. But, they could still carry a spell book, that represents the spells they know. It would look like and MTG card back:

Now, part of the obstacle of creating an MTG cartoon is how to marry this new Media to the card game. Like, you make characters for the cartoon, and they're nowhere in the card game, or the story in the cartoon, doesn't match the story in the game.

To me the answer is simple - time skip.

If they create a cartoon, we meet the main characters when they are young - 13-18 years old. Then in the card game, it's 10 years later, they're adults and doing different things. WotC can put them in some commons, put them on the special guest cards, put them in the Commander decks. And they can add some extra stories to the website to explain what they're doing in the new MTG set.

(Sure, its an isekai, and their original goal is to go home, but obviously, they love the world of MTG so much, they'll want to keep coming back.)

Finally, what should be the setting?

It's tricky, because MTG changes settings very often, so your instinct might be to make it so every episode they jump to a new plane. BUT, animation is tricky, you don't want to discard everything you built so often. So, they should spend a large block of time is the same world.

What I would do is spend the first real arc in Dominaria, then the last episode of that first season (8 episodes) is them arriving at Ravnica, when in the second arc, they can use the Omen Paths to expore like 3 other worlds, and then maybe a final season on... New Capena?

Well, that's it, now that I've said it - it's never going to happen. But a guy can dream.

[wildnya]

my lucky number is 3 and with how obsessed i can get with doing things in thirds you’d think i worshiped it

for example, let’s say there’s something i want to touch, like a soft material or animal. i will make sure to touch it at least three times otherwise it’ll bother me.

when i’m writing i usually try to make things in multiples of 3 because it makes me happy. i will spend hours (sometimes even weeks) coming up with a way to turn something into a multiple of 3 for whatever the thing is if the number is a multiple of 4 or ends in 4 or 8

and on the topic of 4

i consider it my unlucky number. i HATE having to do something four times because it messes with my brain.

using the same example format as above, let’s say there’s a special edition plushy set of a current hyper fixation of mine. when i go to see what’s available there are 4 options available. i can get a deal for buying all four at once, subsequently paying less. it’s a really good deal too.

however there’s 4. my brain says “if i get the deal i will have bad luck”. if i like all four characters enough i will buy them, but if i can choose out of 3 which my favorites are i would skip the deal and order only the 3. that’s how bad it can get for me.

if 4 inconveniences occur i will see it as a bad omen and expect something bad to happen in the next few days. when it takes me 4 tries to win something i see it as all my luck going away for who knows how long.

like 3 4 also creeps into my writing. i will do my best to make sure there are no groups of 4 in whatever situation if i can help it. this also applies to 8 and 16, the latter more so. (4x4 is 16 after all)

when i’m writing and making something that’s supposed to be bad in some way i often use multiples of 4. group of bad guys with bosses? i’ll make 4 or 8 big bosses. multiple evil weapons of destruction? gotta go with 4. there’s an evil beast with multiple heads? gotta be with at least four!

however i will say 8 is kinda like the honorary good guy in the run. it doesn’t bother me as much as other multiples of the unlucky devil number. i don’t exactly know why if i’m being honest. it’s like, an antihero i guess? i agree with the mission but not the way it’s executed?12 doesn’t count because it’s 4x3. the 3 cancels out the bad juju of 4.

i have my own personal series i’m working on and i like to base a lot of key elements on 3. i even went as far as to make the main characters friend group go from 5 to 3 because it made me happier.

anyway i don’t know what possessed me (maybe it’s the autism) to write this but i did so might as well post it lol

anyone else have a similar situation with a number or whatnot?

[itsclydebitches]

(WLW anon) I really don’t like the “bad rep is better then none at all”. I hate that. We should want good rep, because bad rep has been used time and time again by homophobes as to say we shouldn’t get representation. To me it’s not “gay can have the same flaws as het”, it’s “fix the flaws in the het”. Also I know Renora being independent was a good, I was just saying in comparison BB. Also, yes, they were separated, but also didn’t stop thinking about each other. Especially bad with Yang.

Indulge me for a moment because I want to take a trip down memory lane and list some—just some—of the queer rep that has been important to me over the years:

Ellen comes out both as herself and as her character… years later, she’s a hated millionaire who is criticized for how she treats her staff

The wildly influential Buffy gives us two women entering a loving relationship… except then Tara is killed off, Willow goes evil for a time, and Buffy comes under fire for Joss Whedon’s everything

The beloved and respectable headmaster of one of the most popular book series ever published is revealed to be gay… except it doesn’t count because it wasn’t in the text and now all of Harry Potter is cancelled because JKR is transphobic

Kurt is an unambiguously gay teen in a hugely popular TV series, acting as one of the first overt representations a generation has seen… except he’s way too stereotypical and Glee is a joke now

Orange is the New Black gives us a number of queer women, including one of our first trans characters… but isn’t it problematic that they’re all criminals?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine hosts an out gay captain and gives us a bisexual coming out story that resonated with many, myself included… except now we’re supposed to hate all the characters on principle because they’re cops

Korra and Asami walk off into the spiritual sunset together… but they never kiss or anything, so that doesn’t count either

Steven Universe gives us a queer relationship and a wedding… but it’s an issue that this is just a kid’s show and, really, does it count when the rep is embodied by space rocks whose entire species only creates a single gender? Feels like a cop-out

Same with Good Omens. Yeah, Crowley and Aziraphale clearly love each other… but you never see them kiss or declare their intentions. It’s great ace rep though! Unless you want to level the criticism that asexual characters are always nonhuman

A character intended to be a minor guest becomes a show staple and eventually declares his love for one of the two main characters… except then Castiel immediately dies, Dean doesn’t respond, and they never meet on screen again

I finished Queen’s Gambit the other day and the main character had a one-night stand with a woman! … but everyone is talking about how bisexuality is used to represent her lowest point, so that’s bad too

I could go on for literal pages. Some of these arguments I agree with (Dumbledore), others I’ve pushed back against quite strongly (Crowley and Aziraphale), but all of them are valid criticisms depending on what part of the queer community you’re in and what your expectations are. My point here is that it’s all “bad rep.” I mean that seriously. If anyone reading this is scrambling for the comment section to say why [insert media title here] is actually fantastic rep, I guarantee that someone disagrees. Or if they don’t, give it some time. Just wait until the characterization becomes offensively outdated, or another part of the story ruins the relationship, or it comes out that the author did something truly horrific, or the terminology changes and it’s labeled as “problematic” now… just wait. At some point, any rep we feel is good rep now will be criticized, cancelled, and dragged through the mud. The rep that I personally haven’t seen much push-back against—like the beloved Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who, or Schitts Creek that just won a ton of awards—is wrapped up in the criticism, “So it’s all just about able-bodied, cis, (mostly) white dudes, huh? :/”  Even the argument that queer characters need to be written by queer authors doesn’t hold up. I absolutely adored Sense8. “Wow, a gay main character in a loving relationship with another gay man, both of whom enter a loving poly relationship with a woman, another lesbian trans main character who marries the love of her life on screen, an entire cast arguably queer due to them sharing orgy scenes centered around the emotional intimacy they share, everyone survives, and this was written by two trans women! Great, right?” Well, not according to the wealth of opinions explaining how Sense8 is horrible rep, actually. Every piece of rep we’ve got is either currently flawed or will become flawed in the future.

So what do we do with that?

That’s where my “I’d rather have bad rep than no rep at all” comes in. For me, that’s not waving the white flag. That’s not an oath that I won’t expect better rep in the future (I do) or that I won’t criticize the rep we get (BOY DO I), but rather just an acknowledgement of reality. The vast majority—if not the entirety—of rep is “bad rep” in one way or another, but I’d still rather have it than nothing at all. Because I’ve lived just long enough and studied media just enough to know what nothing looked like. It was watching all queer characters meet untimely deaths. Before that it was watching queer characters be derided and treated as jokes. Before that it was nothing but coding, where queer characters didn’t exist except in our own headcanons and interpretations. Obviously “bad rep” covers a very large range of issues and “They haven’t even confirmed this relationship yet” is a bigger issue than “This queer character embodies one or two, mild stereotypes,” but ultimately I’d take any of it over nothing at all. And enjoying what we’ve currently got doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle for it indefinitely.

To use an iffy analogy, imagine there’s a factory. This factory makes plates. So. Many. Plates. Big plates, small plates, plain plates, decorative plates, plates for every possible occasion in your life—and everyone with a steak for dinner is pleased as punch. You though? You’ve got soup. You need a bowl. Your entire life you’ve been struggling to eat your soup off a plate (it doesn’t work) and listening to friends and family claim that the plate with a slightly raised edge could be a bowl if you squint (it’s not). To say it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But then, one day, the factory starts producing bowls too. Hurray! Except as soon as you get your hands on one, you’re told you really shouldn’t be using it, let alone praising it. Look at the state of that bowl! It’s cracked right down the middle, ugly as hell, shoddily made all around… you’re not really going to settle for that, are you? And no, you obviously still want the factory to produce better bowls, but at the same time, this is a bowl. You’ve never gotten one before and you can finally enjoy your meal, even if the soup leaks at times. Sometimes a lot. But you’re still feeling better about your meal than you ever have before. And what you then begin to realize is that lots of the plates are a mess too. They also have cracks, they’re also ugly, many are also shoddily made. The difference is that the factory is producing so many plates at such a rapid pace that every steak eater is able to get by. One plate breaks completely? You’ve got a thousand fallbacks. Don’t like the look of this one? A thousand other options. You disagree about what “shoddily made” means? Luckily there are enough plates that everyone can find what they prefer! But the bowls… there’s only a few. Some are really expensive. Others are only available for a limited time before they suddenly disappear. Your bowl breaks and you have to wait months, years sometimes, to get another one. You’re constantly told to go buy this one obscure bowl no one else has heard about and yeah, you like it... but you’d also like to buy one of the bowls everyone is already enjoying. You find yourself looking at the plates and thinking, “I’d like that. I’d like to have so many options that the flaws, while still a problem, are much more bearable.” You’re still going to demand that the factory get its shit together, you’re still going to (rightly) complain about the awful quality of your bowl… but it’s still nice to have a bowl, period. There are still things you like about it, even if it’s a mess: the color, the size, the beauty of the shape of it. Its potential. You’re still pleased you have something to enjoy and that helps serve the need you’re looking to fill, even if that something is imperfect.

That’s “bad rep is better than no rep.” To bring this very long response back to Blake/Yang, I don’t think their problems negate their benefits. Is their relationship currently non-canonical and filled with a number of writing issues everyone has a right to be angry about? Yup. I express that anger a great deal. Are they still half of a team on a very popular show that is (presumably) set to be canonized as queer? Yup. I’d much rather live in a world where big shows like RWBY try to include queer rep and fail in a multitude of ways—with the expectation and hope that they’ll continue to improve—rather than in a world where authors a) don’t care or b) are too scared to try. Because that’s where a “good rep or no rep” stance leads. The danger isn’t homophobes because they’re, well, homophobes. It doesn’t matter if the rep is good or not, they hate it on principle. But if queer authors writing for other queer identities, or allies writing queer identities, or even queer authors writing their own experiences (like in Sense8) continually come under non-stop fire for their attempts… there’s a good chance that many people won’t ever try. We’re already seeing that here on tumblr with young authors admitting that they wouldn’t touch [insert topic here] with a ten-foot pole because just look at what happens when you get it wrong. And authors will get things wrong because authors are fallible people forever unlearning their own ignorance. So though it might sound strange coming from a blog that has turned into such a RWBY critical space, I am glad that RWBY’s queer rep exists, despite all the frustrations that I share about it. I think a RWBY with various types of “bad” queer rep is better than a RWBY with no queer rep at all, particularly when “bad” or “good” is so intensely subjective. There’s a middle ground between passively accepting whatever we’re given, and tearing into rep with such ferocity that we end up rejecting it all. There’s a space where we can be critical of rep and embrace the parts that work for us, simultaneously.

I hope and expect the het rep will get better too, but… that’s never going to happen instantly. To quote RWBY, there’s no magic wand we can wave to fix all our problems. Rather, it will take slow, plodding, meandering, lifetimes’ worth of work to see that change occur and I personally don’t want to spend the one life I have waiting for that perfect rep to show up. Because it’s unlikely that it will. While we work, I’d rather find the good in what rep we’ve already got.  

[jennagill]

Take a Shot at Love

Summary: Katniss is new in town and Peeta is her range guide. Now rated M. 

Part 3 is written for @promptsinpanem in the 15 Days to Finish Your Fic (For Kika) Round. Parts 1 and 2 on AO3 here. They’re short if you missed them in ... checks notes... 2015 and 2018.

Yes. I told him yes. His face brightened into a warm smile at my acceptance. We agreed to meet at the Club but that doesn't stop the butterflies in my stomach while I get ready in my apartment. 

Right now I'm struggling with what to wear. Practical over anything else. Closed toe shoes, high neck top, practical above anything else. I don’t want a rogue shell casing burning me. Besides, it's only a Sunday afternoon, right?

So it feels like a date, but I—and anything else in my head is blinded by the flash of someone’s daytime running lights outside my apartment. It’s just someone turning around but my eyes cut to the clock and I need to leave now. Long-sleeve turtleneck and vest with jeans it is, as I slide into my boots and head out the door. The drive over to the Capitol Hunting Club is mercifully short, compared to the growing list of questions in my head. I park and grab my bow and quiver with standard arrows before rushing inside. 

The main showroom is packed. Who knew so many people wanted to attend this event? How am I ever going to find Peeta in here? My mind buzzes as I scan for his face when a gentle nudge from behind stops me in my tracks. 

“Hey, found you,” he greets me with another one of those disarming smiles. 

He’s definitely cleaned up well. Gone is the safety hue and in its place, a fetching shade that matches his eyes. 

“Hey, uh yeah. This place is crazy busy. How'd you manage the day off from work?” I ask as my eyes roam the facility and catch a few familiar faces. “Looks like they have the whole staff on point here tonight.”

“I traded a coworker for a few Saturdays. It was quite the negotiation,” he pauses for a long moment, as if he is deciding something. “Ultimately though, I told him that I had a really special date,” he says as heat blooms across his cheeks. 

“So this is a date, then?” I say with caution. “I wasn't sure, so I'm glad we have that clarified.” It almost sounds like a contract, rather than romance.

“It's a date if you allow it,” he stammers as his cheeks reach beet red before settling back into his normal skin tone.

I consider this, weighing my heart, body, and head on the matter. I can only imagine the confusion my face must show until I meet his eyes and the fog begins to lift. “I'll allow it, though...having a first date on Valentine's Day? What kind of omen is that?”

“Truth be told, Katniss, I've been wanting to ask you out for months but never worked up the courage until now,” he says quietly. “I’m not placing any special emphasis on the day, I’m just happy to be here, with you.”

Well that’s hard to argue. “Okay, well where do you want to start?” I try with a smile.

“Shoot first?”

“Pardon?”

“The pistol range, then the archery range, and then the meal?” 

“Oh, I don’t… really know that much about pistols, my only experience with guns is the shooting we did the other weekend.”

“Oh I have a feeling you’ll be dead on with your aim and we can rent from the club too since I don’t own a pistol. I’ll run you through a safety briefing too.”

I keep considering his motives and his actions, if they are aligned or if I’m missing something as we move to the first station. It’s not much more than a series of door frames with walls in between, just enough for two people to stand closely with a shelf at waist height to place the weapons. I watch Peeta take aim at the ringed hearts on paper hung seven yards away. Blue, purple, and pink. Pop, pop, pop, goes my nerves and heart. The sound is too much on this indoor range with the pistols, even with the noise canceling headphones Peeta lent me. 

“Your turn,” he gestures and shows me that the pistol is on safety and pointed down range on the shelf. He changes the target out for good measure too. 

I take the pistol in my hands, forming the teacup he mentioned and squinting at the target. The cool steel chills me—I’m more accustomed to the warm bow wood. I flip the safety off and squeeze the trigger, taking a breath between shots. A crackle of electricity runs through my shoulders and spine as I finish my clip but it’s not the same thrill found in the woods. I take another glance at the target. All of the paper hearts are shredded.

“Is there anything you can’t do?” Peeta asks in amazement.

“Thanks, though I think I’ll stick with my bow or trap and skeet,” I say, flipping the safety back on, placing the weapon down, and backing away from the shelf. 

Peeta sends another series of shots down range but I’m done shooting pistols for the day. My fingers are itching to get back on a bow. I go over to the archery station for some sanity while Peeta returns the equipment to the rental booth.

Red balloons are attached to the various targets on the archery range with prizes inside. Peeta takes aim with precision and hits nearly all of them. The slips float down to the floor to be retrieved by attendants. “Bullseye! Have you been taking lessons?” I ask casually. 

“No. I just replayed what you told me in my head, and well—I wanted to impress you.” A lopsided grin sneaks across his face and he shuffles his feet.

His honesty takes me aback. He says everything in such an offhand way and I am foolish to have suspected ulterior motives. “Well...it shows, you’ve improved a lot since the other day.” 

He beams at the praise and then it’s my turn to shoot. The attendant notices that the standing balloon targets offer no challenge for me, so he releases balloons from a ceiling net I had not seen earlier. At first it seems stupid, but it turns out to be kind of fun. Much more like hunting a moving creature, albeit a slow-moving one. Since I’m hitting everything he releases, he starts increasing the number of balloons in the drop. I forget the rest of the range and this date and lose myself in the shooting. When I manage to take down all five balloons in one round, I realize it’s so quiet I can hear each prize slip hit the floor. I turn and see the majority of the people of the range have stopped to watch me. Their faces show everything from jealous to admiration, though Peeta’s face is the brightest of them all.

The attendant calls for cease fire and I retrieve my arrows and prize slips—gift cards for the Club store and café, mostly. We venture toward the cake and coffee bar set out for this event. I wrinkle my nose at the coffee but notice that they offer hot chocolate too. “Oooh, that cake looks amazing!” 

“You should have a slice, I have it on good authority that it's delicious,” he says.

He's met with a raised eyebrow.

“It's from my parent’s bakery,” he shrugs with another disarming smile. “Red velvet cake, cream cheese icing, and dark chocolate shavings on top.”

And he’s not wrong. The dark flavors burst in my mouth, sending ripple effects down my spine. The cake and hot chocolate together give me a nervous energy, propelling me toward the next steps of this date. I feel like I could run 26.2 miles now, okay maybe just a half marathon. We both finish our desserts though I have something sweeter in mind. 

“Will you walk me out to my car, Peeta?” 

Like a gentleman, he does and he waits patiently while I put up my equipment in the trunk. 

“Katniss, may I kiss you goodnight—”

He doesn’t get a chance to finish because it’s me that leans in, answering his question with my own response. His lips are surprised but warm up instantly to me. His kisses are warm. His kisses leave me dizzy with want. Amazing kisses. Toe-curling kisses. I feel a swipe of his hot tongue in my mouth and I know that I need more.

He must feel the same way since he’s pulling me closer to him and kissing my jaw and neck, or what he can reach around my sweater. His body is so firm wrapped up with mine, something I’d like to explore more in private.

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be goodnight,” I say to the sinking sun and feel him pause at the shell of my ear, “maybe we can—“ deep breath “maybe we could go back to my place?” 

Peeta clears his throat and meets my eyes, “Really?” His eyes cut to the parking lot, realizing that we’re still in a very public place.

“Um, yeah, I don’t live far from here and you could follow me there, if you—if you want to, that is,” I manage, though my confidence is slipping.

“Heck yeah, lead the way!” he says and grins. 

“Okay, right, well let’s go,” I say before I change my mind.

If I thought the drive over to the Club was short earlier, this one flew by, my mind racing at the scenario I’ve just proposed. We’ve made it back to my place before I can second guess myself any further. 

He parks next to me and follows me to the door, “This is a great location,” he chatters as I unlock it, “I mean, it’s a nice place too,” and then he’s scratching the back of his neck, looking around my sparse apartment.

“Well… as you know, I haven’t been in town very long and it seems like I spend most of my free time out at the Club, trying to compete for your attention with others,” I shrug. 

“Compete?“ he laughs and hides his face in his large hand for a moment. “You don’t have any competition anywhere, Katniss,” and this time, it’s him that leans in. 

Our lips have barely touched when I ask, “Couch or bed?”

He pulls back to look at me and curls that lip of his under a set of very white teeth. “Honestly, Katniss, whatever happens, you’re calling the shots.” 

“Right then, bed it is,” and I pull him into my bedroom.

We spend the next few hours teasing, tasting, and exploring as much of each other as possible since Peeta only has one condom with him. He makes it last though and thoroughly fucks me. My favorite part is probably his ass. I remember checking it out on that very first day, and it’s certainly ample to cup while trying to coax him deeper into my throat or dig my heels into it as I spur him to the orgasms that finally give our bodies peace. My mind wanders just before we drift off to sleep, I just hope he doesn’t have an early shift tomorrow.

~~~~~~

Thank you @papofglencoe for the encouragement and quick beta skills on this third part! It was fun to come out of semi-retirement!

[coppicefics]

Masked Omens: Week Five

[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads ‘Masked Omens’. 

Image 2 - A page from the Entertainment section of the Capital Herald, dated Saturday, 23rd January 2021. Full image description and transcript below cut. End ID.]

Read the fic here!

The Capital Herald - Saturday, 23rd January 2021 Entertainment, page 15

Top section: Stream of Consciousness: Shows To Make You Think A whole host of great documentaries, old and new, have just been added to streaming services Who doesn't love a good documentary? You can learn all sorts of things, and you don't have to do any of the research for yourself. Over the last couple of weeks, loads of people seem to have been tuning into the wealth of documentaries available on various streaming services; here are a few I particularly enjoyed. Green Planet (2020) is not your standard nature documentary; while there are some extremely cute shots of animals (including gorillas, whales, and giant squid) the main focus is on sustainable practices people are experimenting with in all sorts of industries and contexts, and the way they allow local wildlife to flourish. It's thought-provoking stuff. We're As Folk (2019) takes a look at the contemporary folk movement, interviewing figures from the second British revival right through to the present day; contributors include Seth Lakeman, Frank Turner, Anathema and Bellowhead. With folk-festival anecdotes aplenty, the documentary explores the intricacies of the genre and culminates in all the contributors performing a once-in-a-lifetime rendition of 'She Moved Through The Fair'. Gadget If You Can (2015) might be a little outdated now, but that's what makes it such a compelling watch. From watches that tell the time in 21 capital cities concurrently to hoverboards that actually, well, hover, this is a fascinating look at the new devices that seemed to be just on the horizon when it was released more than five years ago. Some have since appeared; some remain pipedreams. All are interesting! Making Fast Friends (2012) is the oldest documentary on this list, and the narrowest in scope. It was released alongside the SEGA charity single 'Fast Friends' and gives us a behind the scenes look at what happened when Sonic the Hedgehog teamed up with a whole bunch of children's TV presenters to make the record. Although largely factual in nature, it does also feature animated 'interviews' with Sonic and Knuckles, so it's entirely suitable for watching with your family. And P-White fans, in particular, will not want to miss this a second time around. A War Without War (2021), by contrast, is both up-to-the-minute and extremely disturbing to watch. It is composed of a mixture of expert analysis of the situation developing on the ground in Celestan and grim footage allegedly smuggled out of the country by fleeing residents. Moreover, with more episodes promised, it forces the viewer to acknowledge what is happening as the country breaks apart, and asks us the difficult question: can you have a war without war? Dinosaurs: The Punchline (2013) is frequently mistaken for a mockumentary thanks to its tongue-in-cheek title. It is, in fact, a thoughtful exploration of how religious groups respond to apparent conflicts between scientific facts and the tenets of their faith. Without shying away from the realities of science as we know it, this film takes a surprisingly sensitive approach to investigating how science and religion intersect in the modern world. By The Numbers (2018) looks back at the history of the televised National Lottery, along with its competitors on other channels and the entertainment chosen to appear directly after it. Featuring clips and interviews with stars from Marjorie Potts aka Telepathic Tracy, whose show aired after the draw for over a decade, to Marvin O. Bagman, whose sports-based quiz show had, at the time of the documentary’s release, the corresponding Channel 4 slot. It’s not groundbreaking, but it is very entertaining. CITRON DEUX-CHEVAL Have I missed any amazing documentaries you think I should be talking about? Drop me an email at entertainment@capitalherald.co.uk or leave a comment on our website and I might feature your recommendations in a future issue.

Centre left: Memory Lane: Kilcridhe Now there’s a vicar I’d have loved to meet at the altar Ask any male-attracted person of a certain age – well, my age and up, really – if they remember Kilcridhe, and you'll be met with flushed cheeks and a glassy expression. We remember Kilcridhe, all right – or perhaps it would be fairer to say that we remember Father Jacob MacCleod. It's hard to believe that heartthrob Jacob was Anthony Crowley's first major role on television, and harder still to believe that he was also one of his last. The show ran for only two six-episode series, between 2005 and 2006, but in those twelve hours I think it's fair to say a fair few of us fell irrevocably in love. Kilcridhe was named for the fictitious Scottish village where it was set, and largely revolved around the goings-on of the local church and its new minister. Much of the series' drama centred around Father MacCleod's ongoing attempts to fill the pews, which saw him trying everything from hosting a bake sale – for which he ended up baking everything himself – to arranging a community talent show, with predictably bizarre results. But during the course of these adventures, each episode also introduced us to one or more of Kilcridhe's residents. We got a glimpse into the little struggles and joys of their lives – most of which quickly became Jacob's struggles and joys, too. My main memory of this show is that it was pretty. Not just Jacob, but everything about it, from the location they chose for the exterior shots, to the tone added in post-production; everything was just slightly more saturated and colourful than real life, not enough to be jarring but enough to give the whole thing a strangely dreamlike feel. In fact, as Jacob remarked as he prepared to leave for Edinburgh at the end of series one (not knowing if he would return or if the show would be cancelled), “leaving [Kilcridhe] feels like waking from a dream, like going back to reality somehow”. It was, perhaps, for the best that Kilcridhe was cancelled after only two series. Shows originally envisioned as limited series rarely keep their charm past a second extension, and the central actor was to encounter personal problems not long after the end of the show. That's not to say that a revival couldn't work, perhaps with a completely new protagonist. But Father Jacob MacCleod lives on in the hearts of his many fans, smiling that enigmatic smile of his, and when that's not enough, there's always online fanfiction. So much fanfiction. SARAH JEUNE Memory Lane is our regular feature, looking back at the books, shows and films of yesteryear through a nostalgic lens. Do you miss something you’d like to see featured? Just send the show name (plus channel and airdates if you know them) in an email to: memorylane@capitalherald.co.uk - your prayers might just be answered!

Centre right: Correspondent’s Corner Stop talking about it Anathema is making waves again as she does the talk-show circuit to promote her new album, Narrative Devices. It's a very pretty album from a very lovely girl, but she does keep getting hung up on one point. Every time somebody describes her music as country, she interrupts to tell them it's folk. Well, I'm no music expert, but even I know that folk is a very European genre, and the United States' equivalent is country, or country and western music, to give it its full name, and to continue to argue to the contrary is simply courting controversy for controversy's sake. It is unbecoming of a young lady – even, or perhaps especially, a young lady with Anathema's obvious talent – to continue to argue with her elders on the subject, and even to correct the likes of Graham Norton and Giles Brandreth. These sage bastions of broadcasting deserve more respect, and they couldn't be more gracious in accepting their 'mistake'. But surely a young musician in the first flush of success should take the time to learn about what she's actually doing? It doesn't seem very much to ask. It’s not entirely her fault, of course; the youth of today are given far too much freedom by their parents and, on top of that, are often propelled to disproportionate success with no chance to prepare for it. Is it any wonder that it all goes to their heads? But there is no excuse for not making an effort to keep their egos in check and defer to their betters on matters of terminology and best practice. Naturally, we all hope that Anathema will enjoy a long and successful career making the music she enjoys the most and , more importantly, music we can all enjoy too. And I also hope that she will, eventually, acquire the humility so rarely found in young people these days and accept that she does not always know best. If she listens to the counsel of older and wiser heads than hers, she might even learn something. ANDY SANDALPHON What can’t they do? If there's one thing that's becoming apparent with every passing week of The Masked Singer UK, it's that celebrities are no longer to content to stay in their lane. No, these multi-talented marvels seem determined to push themselves to the limit in every possible field. So far, we’ve seen sergeants become singers, rugby players become rockers, doctors become divas and authors become, er, audible. And with weeks still to go in this competition, we still have eight masked celebrities to guess. Eight people whose day jobs probably don’t include getting on stage and belting out pop standards are still waiting to impress us with talents that aren’t even their thing. I mean, if I could sing and dance like the contestants on the show, you can bet your life I’d be making a living from it. It would be my number one talent, and I’d be rubbish at anything else, because most of us only get one main skill. Not these jammy gits, though. For them, this is a sideline. It's not just The Masked Singer, of course – from proving their talent for trivia on Pointless Celebrities and their wordplay wisdom on Celebrity Catchphrase to demonstrating their culinary qualities on Celebrity Masterchef and The Great Celebrity Bake Off, it seems that wherever you look someone is adding a new string to their bow. Being a phenomenally talented actor, singer, or footballer is all well and good, but more and more stars are now keen to show us that they really can do anything and everything. And why shouldn't they? It's phenomenally entertaining television to watch. And for those of us who sometimes feel inadequate compared to our famous idols, it can be very reassuring to watch, for example, a comedian weeping into his cupcake mix on Bake Off or an Oscar nominee fall on her face on Dancing On Ice. When they do well, it's amazing; when they do badly, it's life-affirming. That said, I've been blown away by the talent of the contestants on The Masked Singer this series. It's so inspirational, in fact, that I might take up watercolours. EDWARD BIGGS Bottom right (in blue box): Citron’s Quick Picks Fast favourites from Citron Deux-Cheval Look: Sea Change by Hastur LaVista There's never been a journey to to the top quite like P-White's. This authorised biography charts a course from children's presenter to global superstar through interviews, pictures and anecdotes. While the research sometimes seems a little slapdash, the story at the heart of the book is more than interesting enough to hold it together. And since it's authorised, Maputi themself has contributed plenty of private insights and observations. [Image description: A book, its cover featuring a blue-green gradient with black, dripping lines spilling across it. The title reads ‘Sea Change’. End ID.] Listen: Narrative Devices by Anathema Anathema's first album was well-received both within the folk community and beyond it. Now her second album, backed up by an obvious increase in resources, looks set to enjoy similar mainstream success, and deservedly so. The theme this time seems to be the act of telling stories, but it's also a story in itself. You'll have heard the singles, but it takes on new meaning when you play it in order! [Image description: An album cover featuring hands holding a book. The words “Anathema” and “Narrative Devices” are printed on it. End ID.] Laugh: Newtral Stance by AutoTuna on YouTube It's not the first time beleaguered commentator Newton Pulsifer has had his words edited into a supercut. It's not even the first time his frequent disagreements with the VAR have been autotuned – including by YouTube user AutoTuna. But this new edition adds an extra dimension in the form of a flat, robotic voice duetting – and duelling – with the frustrated human, taking the hilarity to a whole new level! [Image description: A screenshot of a young woman wearing a call centre headset (specifically, the woman who cold-calls Crowley in Good Omens and gets Hastur instead). She looks extremely bored. End ID.]

Advertisement, bottom right: IS THIS YOUR CARD? [Image Description: Two business cards with a white-to-yellow gradient, overlapping so that they are slightly fanned out. Printed on the left-hand side of each is ‘This is to certify The Amazing [blank] as a [blank] training under Mr A.Z. Fell.‘ The one behind is filled in with ‘Your Name-’ and ‘Sorcer-’. The front card is filled in in a more child-friendly font, with ‘Your Name Here’ and ‘Junior Magician’. Below this is space for a start and expiry date, filled in with ‘08/20′ and ‘08/21′ respectively. On the right-hand side of the card, a logo shows a rabbit emerging from an upturned top hat, and below it are the words ‘Harry’s Junior Magic Academy’. The word ‘Junior’ is in the same child-friendly font as before. End ID.] IT COULD BE. Membership is open to under 12s and 13-18 year-olds at www.harrys-magic.com

End of transcript.

[made-with-magic]

Are you bored in quarantine as well?

well that’s tuff

no but seriously here are some things you can watch/read/listen too. Featuring my terrible summaries of them as I try to explain them without ships

Netflix

Avatar, obviously what are you doing, what do you mean you’ve never watched this cultural cornerstone- an animated show about people who can control elements and the avatar is a 12 who has to save the world by learning to bend all of the elements 

Any/all of the john Mulaney specials because we respect our proud asian american woman in this house- a comedian tells iconic jokes

haikuyu. -volleyball anime

Sherlock- tv show about a detective and his cases and his friend who the whole fandom ships him with but its not the main basis of the show

Good Place-a funny show but it also somehow teaches you philosophy, basically its about these humans and their journey in the afterlife

Lucifer, we stan Lucy-about lucifer coming to earth and just vibing but no one really believes him when he says hes literally the devil

Merlin because HOW COULD THEY END IT LIKE THAT HOW DARE THEY- a show about merlin protecting aurther in camelot with his magic even though magic is outlawed

Witcher, a fantasy show you may need to watch twice because the timeline is a little confusing.-a fantasy setting based off of a book

Umbrella academy, klaus is our child and we will fite anyone who says otherwise-some kids were randomly born with superpowers and an extra billionaire bought them and its about the kids stopping the apocalypse

troll hunters, a show about a kid who basically has to save the world so many times, and GREAT animations like 10/10 animations 

3below, a show that takes place in the same town as troll hunters but its about these alien refugees and its also good, we stan steve and eli

Miraculous Ladybug merely because the fandom is funny to me-highschoolers become superheros and the guy likes the super hero girl but the girl likes the civilian identity of the boy but neither of them no each others identities

Carmen sandiego because I LOVE gray for no reason like i cant explain- a kids show about a girl who was raised by theives who then learned they were evil so she steals from them and returns the items but the people investigating her still think shes a villian

stranger things, again, WHY HAVENT YOU WATCHED THIS- a show about scientist fucking up and this group f kids have to keep fixing it

Hulu

my hero acedemia- everyone has powers whoo and theres a h=whole society built around these powers and its centered around this highschool kid whos going to highschool to become a power and theres a whole things i cant really explain just watch it

brooklyn 99, its literally one of the best shows ever just saying- about detectives but its funny but also deals with serious stuff sometimes

Orville-its basically if star trek and those ‘humans are space orcs/australians’ was a tv show

the rookie- a more serious cop show, good show

mythbusters, mostly as a background show- a couple of scientist do fun expirements (dont try at home, try at a friends house) and they bust or prove myths

other

Critical role!!!!!! its so good, and its reaalllyy long which is nice during quarentine-its a dnd campagn but you dont really need to know much about dnd to enjoy, its about a group of adventurers with great backgrounds played by voice actors just playing dnd and its fun

good omens-an angel and demon try their best to save the world, but also they are a married couple (not the main point, very background)

Psych, it doesnt get NEARLY as much love as it should-a show about a dude who has teh mental abilities of sherlock, but funny and not a robot who prenteds to be a phycic and works with the police department with his best friend gus 

Books (first 3 on audible, where I listen while drawing. you can get one of those free trials from anyone from youtube and you get to keep the book even if you cancel the subscription)

Mistborn by Brandon sanderson- some people have powers when they burn metals and can do cool thing. this takes place in fantasy-esque time where the bad guy already one hundereds of years ago and a group of thieves over throw the ruler ~500 pages ish

Alloy of law by Brandon sanderson-a series that takes place hundereds of years after mistborn and now they have guns and its the wild west. dont read before mistborn unless you dont mind spoilers for the first series ~400 pages each

Name of the wind by Patrick Rothfuss- its the first part of a trilogy (thrid book not out yet) it follows the life of a legend from his point of view and its also fantasy esque. ive read them 3 times ~900 pages

spy school series by Start gibbs- kids go to spy school, main character keeps thwarting the bad guys despite everyones confusion. long books not like the books from book fair that are like 100 pages long, actual story happens in these ~300 words

Ill gladly talk IN LENGTH about basically any of these so i guess this is also a small version of my fandom list?

[ineffably-good]

I Will Follow You Into the Dark (2/10) (Good Omens fic)

Read the whole thing on AO3 - it’s finished!

Summary: In which a snake learns he cannot be a ringbearer, and Aziraphale realizes he can get free cake for months.

Aziraphale was surprised to wake up the next morning after having apparently slept the entire night entangled with Crowley. This was a rarity for him – while he did occasionally indulge in a few hours of sleep, a half night was usually about the most he could pull off. This morning though, he let out a long breath and relaxed back into his partner’s arms. Why not indulge for a while longer?

The demon was so peaceful when he was sleeping – it was the only time Aziraphale ever really saw his face at rest. Usually watching Crowley’s face was a race just to keep up with the lightning-fast thoughts and changes in emotional states; when he slept, though, the lines and angles smoothed out and he looked younger, somehow, and much, much more vulnerable. It made the angel’s heart ache with adoration just to look at him.

“You’re staring at me, angel,” the demon muttered sleepily. “All prickly feeling.”

Aziraphale leaned in and kissed him on one eyebrow, then the other. “Just admiring, my dear,” he said. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mmmhmm,” the demon mumbled, rolling away from him. “Not done yet.”

Aziraphale took pity and abandoned the bedroom, taking a moment to pull on a warm, cable-knit jumper. It was still a little chilly out, and as he padded downstairs he thoughtfully raised the ambient temperature by another ten degrees, hoping that it would maybe keep his companions comfortably awake for the rest of the day. He swung into the kitchen to set up the cappuccino maker, knowing the aroma would soon bring Crowley to his senses, and then headed out to survey the mess of wedding magazines from the previous night.

Frederick was up and moving, so he pulled him out to join him on the floor. Frederick hissed approvingly at being allowed to try out the new den; he burrowed under a magazine that was lying open and upside down, with just his head and tail sticking out of either side of the spine.

“It would nice if we could have you be part of the wedding ceremony, Frederick,” Aziraphale said thoughtfully.

OH SURE, NO PROBLEM. Frederick thought. WHAT’S A WEDDING, ANYWAYS?

“Think you could carry a ring?” Aziraphale asked. He pondered for a minute, and then slipped off his angelic sigil ring for a moment – he certainly wasn’t going to try this with his engagement ring, after all. Moving slowly and carefully, he placed it on the tip of Frederick’s tail, where it snugged down a few inches before coming to rest.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Frederick shrieked, feeling both the cold metal and the touch of some kind of powerful energy on his tail. IS THAT SOME KIND OF COLLAR? I DON’T WEAR COLLARS YOU FLUFFY IDIOT!

Frederick thrashed around, trying to get a good look at his tail, and in the process sent the ring flying across the room, where a series of clinks indicated it landed under the feet of one of the larger bookcases.

“Well so much for that idea,” the angel said frostily, heading over to look for it.

++

Crowley awoke to the smell of brewing coffee, and couldn’t resist -- he made his way slowly down the stairs and out into the main area, where he stopped in surprise at the sight that greeted him. Aziraphale, down on his hands and knees, head on the floor as he squiggled and tried to get an arm under various pieces of furniture. Across the room from him, Frederick was lounging on a pile of magazines. He would swear it looked like the snake was highly amused.

“Well this is a lovely sight,” he commented drolly, and the angel sat up so fast that he knocked a few books over. “What’s all this?”

“Oh, er, hello,” Aziraphale said. “Nothing, just call it a failed experiment. I tried my sigil ring on Frederick to see if he could maybe be a ring bearer and he had a full body convulsion and sent it flying across the room. I can’t quite get to it.”

Crowley pursed his lips and tried not to laugh. The angel had dust bunnies all over his waistcoat and in his hair, and he looked absolutely adorable. “You’re an angel, Aziraphale.”

“Yes, and?”

Crowley shook his head. “And you thought it was a good idea to put your angelic sigil, which holds some of your powers, ON A SNAKE.”

“I did, yes,” the angel said, stubbornly.

The demon sighed and snapped his fingers, and a glint of gold appeared in his hand. “Also,” he said patiently, “you have powers and don’t have to actually get down there and dig around, you know.”

Oh. That was true. Aziraphale walked over and took the ring out of his hand, unable to think of any adequate response.  

“You’re so lucky you have me around, love,” Crowley said, before blowing him a kiss and walking off to get a cup of coffee.

Aziraphale followed him a few minutes later, dust bunnies removed and dignity restored.

They chatted for the next half hour about essentials about the wedding, and managed to set some parameters. They both wanted a small wedding, with just friends and no real wedding party. Budget wasn’t really a concern, as various questionable investments over the last two hundred years had left Crowley with nearly unlimited funds at his disposal, and Aziraphale also had a tidy sum socked away himself. Having some portion of the event outdoors would be lovely, the both agreed. Top priorities were flowers and food.  They’d go simple on the invitations, focus on mostly candid photography from a low key professional, and just make the reception a nice, enjoyable party.

“So, what are my jobs?” Aziraphale said.

“You pick the food. And the cake.” Crowley had obviously already given this some thought. “I’ll head up most everything else.”

Aziraphale looked concerned. “Are you sure? This shouldn’t be a burden on you, Crowley! I want to help.”

“Oh you’re going to help!” Crowley agreed. “But you’re just too easy to please to make some of these decisions. I mean, you’d never know if the flowers were good enough or not, would you? I’m not going to let a sub-par ranunculus mess up our special day. Everything needs to be right.”

Aziraphale stared for a moment. “You will NOT berate our wedding flowers, Crowley, I just won’t have it. I’m not standing up to marry you surrounded by terrified, sobbing plants.”

“Oh please, you exaggerate,” Crowley scoffed.

“I mean it, Crowley,” the angel warned.

“All right, all right. I will be nice to the ones I pick out, promise.”

One battle won, the angel thought.

++

They went out of the next view days to visit a number of sites around town, including libraries and gardens, hotels and schools. Oddly enough, each place they visited found that they did indeed have a prime Saturday in August available for rental, despite usually booking two years in advance. Aziraphale frowned at Crowley over that one and made a mental note to find out later whose bookings he cancelled and restore them, but he put up with it as likely unstoppable at this point.

Each venue was lovely in its own way, but the one that won both their hearts was the Nash conservatory at Kew Gardens. Small and intimate with huge floor to ceiling glass walls on three sides, it offered just the right amount of space for their smaller wedding party and the garden setting felt welcoming and homelike to them both.

They took a few minutes to walk around the grounds before they made a final decision.

“Remember how many dates we spent here?” Crowley said.

“They weren’t all dates,” Aziraphale said. “Most of them were before the apocalypse.”

“They were dates and you know it,” Crowley said. “All of it was dates, really.”

“So we’ve been dating, in your view, for over six thousand years?”

“At least for the last four thousand, yes.”

Aziraphale squeezed his hand. “That’s a lovely thought. You might have told me, though.”

“You just weren’t listening hard enough,” the demon teased.

They had reached the Palm House, always one of their favorites.

“Remember the night we broke in here?” Aziraphale asked. “Had a midnight picnic?”

“Oh sure, you sound all calm about it now, but you were practically hyperventilating about the breaking and entering then,” Crowley reminded him.

Aziraphale waved a hand. “Was not. I just wanted you to feel comfortable, and you like it when I’m a little flustered. Don’t even try to say you don’t.”

Crowley grinned at him. “You’re an idiot.”

“You’re the one marrying me,” he retorted. “Let’s go back and book it, my dear – you’re right, this is perfect!”

Crowley had it booked and paid almost before he had finished the sentence.

++

A few days later they chose a simple invitation at the neighborhood printer and put together the guest list – their friends from Tadfield and their families, Madam Tracy and the Witchfinder, the staff from a handful of local merchants, bakery owners, and restaurants who had become friends, and a few favorite customers. All in all, it was a small set, about forty people, just perfect for the space they were thinking of.

They pointedly did not send invites to anyone from their respective former employers.

“Do you think we need any security, Crowley?” Aziraphale asked worriedly as they walked back to the shop.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Aziraphale said carefully. “Do you think Above or Below is going to try to interfere in any way? They wouldn’t be particularly happy to hear about this, I suppose.”

Crowley frowned and thought it over. “I don’t know. We haven’t seen hide nor hair of them since the big capture in the park. Seems like maybe they’ve decided to wash their hands of us entirely.”

“You’re right,” Aziraphale said. “It’s been very quiet.”

“And Adam did set some changes in place to lessen interference from either side,” Crowley added. “But I can talk to Anathema about some warding for the wedding site, just in case. She ought to be able to set up spells or glyphs around the buildings and the grounds to keep any entities other than us from being able to enter the day of the wedding.”

“That’s a good idea, dear,” Aziraphale said. “Let’s do that.”

“Angel,” Crowley said slowly, “Do you have some reason to be worried?”

Aziraphale thought about that brief, odd twinge he felt outside the bookstore the prior week. Had that been anything, or had it just been his imagination? Things had certainly been perfectly calm since.

“No,” he finally said, “I haven’t. Just being cautious. You know me.”

Crowley appeared satisfied with that answer, and let it go. He did place a call to Anathema that night, though, and invited her up the following weekend to talk strategies.

++

The next morning Aziraphale was downstairs making a racket in the kitchen when Crowley woke up, and a quick sniff indicated that it was clearly a waffles morning. Hit with an instant fit of hunger,

Crowley quickly dressed and headed down.

Aziraphale greeted him with a smile, looking a little tired and pale, and immediately plated him an enormous waffle the size of his head. He was sure the angel had fiddled with the waffle iron, somehow, to make it larger, as no one made waffles that big. It was also, oddly enough, heart shaped.

“Isn’t it a little early for this kind of sentimental display?” he teased.

Aziraphale simply made a face at him and added syrup and powdered sugar with a heap of berries to his plate, then plopped down the foamiest, creamiest cappuccino he’d seen in weeks.

“Your breakfast,” he said with a flourish. Then he plated one of similar size for himself and sat down across from him.

Crowley smiled his thanks and took a large sip of his coffee, before leaning back contentedly.

“Now this is the way to live,” he sighed, contemplating whether to start with waffle, berries, or both. “You look tired, by the way. Everything okay?”

“I didn’t sleep very well,” the angel said. “I had a – what are they called? Ill dream? Night torment? Never had one before.”

“Nightmare, angel. You had a nightmare?” Crowley looked at him reproachfully. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Because you were asleep and it was just a silly dream,” the angel said, ever reasonable. “I don’t even remember the details, honestly. Just woke up in a panic with my heart racing. I was able to calm myself down.”

Crowley stabbed his fork into his gigantic waffle and left it there, twanging vertically. He leaned forward with both elbows on the table and fixed the angel with his most serious of serious looks.

“Listen to me, angel,” he said quietly. “You are my fiancé and soon to be husband and if you have a nightmare I don’t want to hear this utter bullshit about letting me sleep. You. Will. Wake. Me. Up. Do you understand me?”

“I really don’t think that’s necessary –”

“I really don’t think you get a say in this one,” Crowley snapped. “The entire point of this is that I get to be here for you when you need me. You’d want me to do the same, wouldn’t you?”

Aziraphale stared at him, transfixed, while a rush of heated love and mild shame roiled through him.  He was right. He was entirely right.

“Yes, I would,” he finally admitted. “I will if it happens again. I promise.”

Satisfied, the demon pried his fork loose and returned to cramming food into his mouth as if the world was coming to an end.

“So,” the angel said after a bit of a pause, eager to get back to more pleasant subjects. “We’ve got the venue and the invitations done. What’s on the wedding agenda for today?”

“Oh, you’ll like today!” Crowley said with a grin. “It’s cake tastings today.”

As expected, the angel’s face lit up like a kid at a birthday party. “You get to go taste cakes?” he asked, almost afraid to believe it. “Like, people give you actual slices of cake just because you’re planning a wedding?”

Crowley laughed. “Yes, angel, they give you cake. As many flavors as you like. As many bakeries as you like. In fact, if you like, you can go taste cakes every day for the next month, as long as you pick different places each time. No one’s going to turn away a well-to-do patron who’s wedding shopping.”

Aziraphale cut his waffle in half and pushed one portion of it aside. “I’d better save some room, then,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “This sounds like the perfect day!”

++

Crowley sat back and watched as Aziraphale had the time of his life that morning. He was clearly in his element, charming each and every one of the bakers they met with his intense love for fine baked goods and interest in the ingredients. Crowley had made appointments at the four top-rated cake shops in greater London and sped them to each in the Bentley. It was a sign of how much the angel was enjoying himself that he didn’t even comment on their record-breaking speeds.

The angel insisted on trying a little bit of everything. Sponge cake to fruit cake, buttercream and fondants, ganache and fruit gelees, profiteroles and cupcakes, and the ever famous croque en bouche, its tiny cream puffs piled high under hard swoops of caramelized sugar.

The only place the angel drew a hard line was at the idea of the currently trendy ‘naked cake.’

“Cake without frosting?” he gasped. “What on earth is the point of that?”

The proprietor insisted on bringing one out to show them. Aziraphale was polite and tried it, making encouraging comments about the tastiness and moistness of the cake, but as soon as they left the building he was full of criticism.

“Cross that one off the list, Crowley,” he said acerbically. “I can’t trust the judgment of someone who thinks cake laid bare of frosting is a good thing.”

Crowley smiled. “Whatever you say, angel. Just do me a favor and don’t make it cupcakes, either.”

“No cupcakes?”

“Cupcakes are for children.”

“I agree, actually,” Aziraphale said. “You can have cupcakes anytime. You only get to have your own wedding cake once.”

They reached the car and Crowley held the passenger door open for him. “Off to patisserie number four,” he announced grandly, closing the door with a flourish.

++

They were walking down the block to the final cake tasting when Aziraphale stumbled and caught onto Crowley’s arm for support.

“Are you all right?” Crowley asked, peering at him.

“Yes, I think so – I just felt a little dizzy for a moment,” the angel replied. He stopped and took a few deep breaths.

“Do you need water?” Crowley asked. “Want to sit down somewhere?”

The angel let go of his arm and straightened up with a determined smile. “I’m fine, really! It’s just been an exciting day and I got a little overheated in this big coat. Let’s keep walking.”

Crowley frowned and undid a few buttons of the angel’s overcoat, then unwrapped a layer of the lightweight scarf he was wearing so the angel could get some air.

“Better?” he asked, concerned.

“Fit as a fiddle,” Aziraphale assured him, moving on.

++

“Welcome, welcome!” said the proprietor at the final shop. “You are Mr. Crowley and Mr. Fell, I presume?” She handed them each a glass of champagne and ushered them back to the finely appointed tasting room.

“Please tell me a little about what you had in mind for your wedding cake,” the woman said, pulling out a little notepad.

Aziraphale filled her in on the basics – the venue, the number of guests, and what they had liked or not liked so far.

“And you, sir?” she said, turning to Crowley.

Crowley leaned in and smiled. “Just make him happy,” he said. “This man LOVES cake, and I want him to have the best wedding cake he’s ever seen for our big day. Oh, and no cupcakes. And nothing cutesy. Flowers would be nice, possibly.”

Aziraphale laughed a little as his ‘I have no opinions on cake’ fiancé turned out to have rather a lot of opinions after all.

They tried three or four spectacular cake samples there and were just settling in to try a second portion of their current favorite – a chocolate sponge with pomegranate filling and a rich, decadent buttercream, when it happened.

“I think we might have a winner,” Crowley said, turning to Aziraphale with an eyebrow raised.

Aziraphale paused with a forkful halfway to his mouth, and then laid the fork down with a clunk.

“Oh,” he said, placing his hand on the table as if supporting himself. “I don’t feel so well.”

Crowley and the baker looked at him, concerned. “What is it angel?”

“I’m dizzy,” he said, whitening alarmingly. “The whole room is –”

He broke off and made a strange noise deep in his throat.

Crowley grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to get the angel to focus on him. “Angel, what’s happening? Breathe with me,” he said. “Get him some water,” he shouted to the baker, who rushed off to the kitchen.

Aziraphale raised frantic-looking eyes towards the demon and wobbled in his seat. “Oh no,” he said in a panicked tone. “I think – my dear I think I’m –”

Crowley blinked as the angel appeared to become slightly transparent around the edges for a moment. It almost looked like he flickered.

OH FUCK, he thought, as he realized slightly too slowly what was happening  just as the angel managed to get the words out –

“—being summoned!”

“SHIT!” The demon frantically looked around for salt but it was already too late.

There was a flare of light and when his sight cleared, the angel was gone.

[glassvines]

Fan-Related Thoughts on 2019

Time for praise and thoughts on all my favorites from this year: TV Shows 1. The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance - Still so amazed at how gorgeous and creative this series is. Crossing my fingers for a second season. 2. Good Omens - Series of the year for me! Actually, it's potentially the series of the decade? It's rare I rewatch a show as many times as I've rewatched GO, but it really is just that good. The book was recommended to me a decade ago by a good friend, and I never got around to completing it before the television series was released. I’m kind of kicking myself now because it’s so. Right up my alley. HHGttG-esque Bible fanfiction? Check. Tons of my favorite narrative and character tropes? Check. Centers around the arguably B characters of the story, who have what can only be described as the most ridiculous, long-term case of ust in fictional history while simultaneously acting like an old married couple? Double check. It’s a new favorite I plan on re-watching regularly for years to come. Animation 1. IZ Movie - Sweet, sweet nostalgia. I’ve missed this show so much. Glad to see it still has enough of a fanbase to create content for. 2. Infinity Train - Loved the first season! Really creative concept with some suprising character twists. 3. Klaus - Sooo gorgeous. Netflix may have canceled a couple favorites this year (MST3K among them), but they were also distributing a lot of cool, creative movies/shows as well. 4. Promare - Can't wait to buy this on bluray. Really dynamic 3D backgrounds. And I loved all the neon/bright color schemes. 5. Amphibia - A new favorite Disney show! It's not being talked about enough despite being able to juggle a bunch of fun narrative stuff at once. It's funny, it’s characters are three-dimensional, and the animation (particularly the backgrounds) is very nice looking. 6. Carmen Sandiego - Another well-made reboot. Great animation and style choices. Also: three of the mains are redheads :). Good!! Video Games 1. Samorost 3 - Absolutely adored the visuals, atmosphere and music in this game. Had to buy a poster as soon as I finished playing it, because it inspired me so much. I've only played a little bit of first two at this point, but they're a lot of fun too. 2. Link's Awakening - Enjoying the new updated graphics. It’s so weird seeing all this stuff I loved when I was younger getting re-released. Good to know that kids will appreciate some of the same games I did. 3. Stardew Valley - This is like, the year I decided to start playing games that came out in 2016 I guess. The hype is real though. It's super cute.

Films 1. Us - Can’t wait to see future Jordan Peele projects after Get Out and Us. This was probably my favorite movie of 2019. Creepy, fun and stylistically brilliant. 2. Midsommar - Brightly colored and horrific. Loved it. Ari Aster’s films truly creep me out; possibly because there’s a lot of metaphor beneath the surface of his cult-centered horror films. But mostly because he just really knows how to set a good, creepy mood. 3. Shazam! - May be my new favorite DC film :). Just a really cute/fun movie overall. 4. John Wick 3 - Long live this franchise I love it so much. 5. Endgame - Speaking of franchises. I thought this was a good conclusion to a giant franchise, and a fitting ending for a favorite character I've had a gigantic crush on for a decade too. I’m lowkey peacing out in terms of Marvel films now. 6. SW: TRoS: Kylo Ren has done nothing wrong ever in his life, and I love him.

Honorable Mentions 1. The Umbrella Academy 2. The Boys 3. The Witcher 4. Stranger Things s3 5. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark 6. The Mandalorian

Things I'm Looking Forward to in 2020 1. the new Emma film 2. The Owl House 3. Psychonauts 2 4. Pacific Rim anime? Is it still happening? Buller?

Some Creative Goals for 2020 1. Keep up with my travel journal! I've had one for over a year now, but I've been terrible at properly recording things in it. I made sure to write down some notes, and print photos up for my CA vacation at least. 2. While I haven't been posting much art here, I've been taking a lot of photography and sketching a decent amount. Plan on focusing more of my art posts elsewhere moving forward, and reblogging them over here if I think they're a good fit. 3. More shelling and flower collecting when it gets warm again. I didn’t do enough of that this year.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Thoughts on News About AL and LC - What it means for TD

Okay, I know it's been a few weeks since I've written anything new. Until a few days ago, there really wasn't much for me to write about. People want my thoughts on the news that Andrew Lincoln may be leaving TWD. I'm going to talk about a lot of different subjects and possibilities here, so bear with me.

First let me say that I originally wrote this two days ago, but have re-written it several times. A lot has happened and my perspective keeps changing.

Originally I was going to give arguments both for and against it being true. When news of Andrew leaving first broke, a lot of people thought it was a publicity stunt. There are still reasons it might be, but in the past few days, we’ve gotten a lot more confirmations, and it’s looking more and more like it’s probably true. A small part of me will hold out hope that it’s not real up until we actually see S9 play out, but overall, I’m preparing myself to lose Rick as a character, because we probably will.

Ditto with Lauren Cohan leaving. I’ve been pretty unconvinced of her departure up until, well, like yesterday. I feel like people are really jumping to conclusions because of her contract dispute, but I’ve never seen that as good enough evidence that she’s actually leaving. Again, she still may not be. Lauren said this right after they finally worked out her contract: 

“I’m going back. There’s a lot more Maggie story to tell. You know we’re not allowed to tell you anything, but it’s good.” (Source)

 That just doesn't sound like she's leaving after six episodes to me.

However, some of my FB peeps brought up some good points the other day (I’ll get into them below) that are making me think Lauren leaving may be a real thing as well. I’ll get into that in a minute.

Okay so let's assume for a minute that Andrew Lincoln is definitely leaving. How will this go down?

I hope that if he does leave, they won’t actually kill him off. I'm hoping they’ll do more of a Morgan-esque thing where he has to head off on his own for a while, leaving Daryl in charge. Unlike Lennie James, AL will be working on his own projects rather than other TWD spinoffs, but that would allow them to bring him back after a few seasons if they so choose. I just feel like Rick should be in the final season or final episode of the series, whenever that may be.

Yes, I know this is probably wishful thinking. This is TWD, after all, and character arcs never truly closed until they die. You could argue that Rick is kind of an exception, though. He is the main character and always has been, not a side character who only came on for a few seasons. So, while it might not be entirely realistic. I'm still hoping they give him the option to return at some point.

What will it mean for TD?

Honestly, even I really don't want AL to leave the series, this actually bodes very well for TD.

Let’s review what happened during S8. No one on TD really predicted Carl's death, but once it hit the airwaves, I knew right away that it was correct. When the spoiler site reported it 2 weeks into S8, they didn’t confirm it, saying to take it with a grain of salt. At the time, I wrote THIS POST and knew the spoiler about Carl would turn out to be correct. Why? Because of the symbolism in S4.

The biggest clue was the sheriff’s hat falling off Carl's head. We saw the same thing twice in S7 and then again right before his walker bite was revealed. You’ve got to understand that TWD finds creative ways to foreshadow things. Most of us wouldn’t consider a hat falling off someone's head to be death omen, but in this case, it was. If they’d put a skull and cross bones in the background behind Chandler, that would have been way too obvious. Gimple is smarter than that. He finds more creative ways to foreshadow things.

So while we totally didn't pick up on the foreshadow, because the hat falls off Carl's head before Rick picks it up and puts it on Beth, I immediately realized it was always a foreshadow that Carl would die before Beth came back.

So now let’s take that damn flashback in 4x16 bit farther. After putting the hat on Beth, what does Rick say? The famous line we’ve all pointed to for years now: "There's a new sheriff in town."

I never thought that this meant Rick would die. As I said in THIS POST, I thought it meant that he would step down from leadership, just as he did in 4a. I just thought it meant Beth would be in charge rather than Rick, but that Rick would still be around.

But now we get this news that AL might be leaving. Rick leaving reinforces that they're going to need a new leader. And while they are reporting that Daryl will step into Rick shoes, and I'm sure he will be the main character, it just paves the way even more for Beth to return as the new sheriff in town.

It also seems to me that without Rick and the partnership/bromance between Rick and Daryl, Daryl is going to need a partner to balance him out. It doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic partner (Jesus balances Maggie) but we also had Norman teasing that Daryl might finally get a romance after AOW. Again, that doesn't necessarily mean it will be Beth, but it will be someone. And you all know who I think it will be.

So, Andrew leaving the show is actually better for TD than if he didn't. Again, I really don't want him to leave and I hope he doesn't, but just as with the symbolism around Carl's death, it makes a certain kind of sense that perhaps the new sheriff in town won't show up until the current sheriff disappears in some way. (The transition could also happen concurrently, though.)

So now we get to the real crux of what I wanted to say today. I've been thinking last few days about this news all its implications. I've been running over all the dialogue and symbolic evidence we’ve looked at for years now. Here’s the conclusion I've come to:

If it turns out to be true, and both AL and LC are truly leaving the show, I don't believe for one minute that it's a decision they suddenly came to somewhere between S8 and S9. I think it's been planned that way for a very, very long time. Same as with Carl's death. We have evidence (because of the hat) that when Gimple took over as showrunner in S4, he already had Carl's death planned. I simply don't believe that he would have that much planned out (and Beth's arc/eventual return planned out) but then Andrew Lincoln leaving would come out of left field. No freaking way.

I'm not saying they always knew exactly what episode they���d leave in or even that the writers decided to write them out of the show. I just think everybody planned this in advance and has known about it for a while.

Let me explain:

Let’s return to S3. At the end of the season, showrunner Frank Mazzuri was fired for killing characters off without direction. Basically, it came down to a lack of planning, which was pissing everyone off. Especially AMC. So, he was fired and Gimple was promoted to showrunner.

I always refer back to the trailer from S4, which talks about “a whole new chapter” being in place. That was the start of Gimple's reign. (Full Trailer HERE.)

We’ve also seen a lot of things pointing to S4-S8. TD has always thought it meant Beth will show up in S8. That wasn't the case, but we still think she’ll show up after S8. Like S4-S8 was when ginormous arc, and only after that will the new sheriff return. The post I wrote HERE about the structure of Them foreshadowing this has all the details.

So, I’m envisioning a scenario where, when Gimple took over prior to S4, he already had many years of the show planned out. (He’s told us before that he has through season 15 planned out.) Logistically, he would've needed to check with Andrew Lincoln to make sure that was okay.

The show was finishing up his 3rd season going into the 4th. There are plenty of shows that only go 3 to 4 seasons before being canceled. A lot of actors might not have wanted to participate in the show much longer. Most actors want to do multiple projects, rather than be tied to one. (Norman is the obvious exception to this.) Another good example of this is just recently when Frank Dillane left FTWD. He said he’d played the character for 3 seasons and wanted to move on to other things.

So, with Rick being the main character in TWD, the writers had to have known that maybe he wouldn't want to stick around that long. So I’m wondering if Gimple sat down with Andrew after S3 and explained that he very well could do another 12+ seasons of TWD and asking Andrew what he thought. I'm thinking Andrew said he wasn't ready to leave the show yet (because he didn’t) but he probably wasn't going want to hang around for 12 more seasons. So, he told Gimple to keep him on for another 5-6 years and then write him out. Based on that, Gimple created his story, always planning to write Rick out after AOW.

S4-S8, as we’ve all said many times, was all about Rick. @thegloriouscollectorlady even pointed out that even Coda was really all about Rick. The ending was from his point of view. It was about how he handled the situation badly and that led to Beth being shot. But this huge, 4-season arc was all based around Rick.

Meanwhile, as I explained HERE, Gimple set Beth up as a strange, minor arc so he could always bring her back once Andrew left the show. Even though we didn't know that, and have been predicting every season that she’ll return, and certainly never predicted Andrew Lincoln leaving anymore than we predicted Carl's death, I do think that it was probably always planned this way.

Many lines of dialogue and such can be seen in a different light, given the information that Andrew is leaving.

Of course there’s all the obvious stuff about Beth being new sheriff in town and Bethyl being a thing. The needed to play out this other arc, needed to see Daryl suffer and learn and grow before he could sustain that relationship. No doubt Beth will have learned and grown a lot too, and she will come back not only as a leader and a badass, but as someone who's even more suited to Daryl that she was in S4 and S5.

I’m even thinking about the interview Andrew gave after Coda. I talked about it in detail HERE. He said he thought Emily “deserved this death” because she was so kind and sweet and such a great actor, etc. That never made any sense because why would anyone deserve a senseless death? But he sounded like he was being kind when he said it, not cruel.

So it's always been TD's theory that he knew Beth will return, and while he couldn't actually say it in the interview because it would've been a spoiler, he was really referring to an arc where she goes away for a time, but then returns.

It’ll be the biggest plot twist ever, and quite frankly it might be the only thing that can save the show's ratings. As long as Daryl’s around, I think a good many people will continue to tune into the show. And as with Carl's death, there are plenty of people saying that they won’t watch the show anymore. I'm sure that's true of some of them, but most will at least return to see how Rick goes out and to see how the show fares without him. If they suddenly plunked Beth's return down into the middle of all that, that's going keep a lot of viewers and maybe even bring some back to see how Beth and Daryl's arc continues.

As to my earlier discussion about whether they'll kill Rick off or not, there is one line that makes me think that they will. Beth’s line to Daryl in Still: "You're gonna be the last man standing." 

We've attributed that to many things, including the fact that Daryl wouldn't kneel to Negan, but it definitely does sound like he might outlive Rick. 😥

I’m also thinking about a lot of the things that Norman has said over the past few seasons. He’s talked many times about how Daryl hasn't had much to say. He’s gotten a few cool arcs, blowing shit up and such, but he hasn't had a whole lot of character development since Beth's death. (Even non-TDers recognize this.) You’d think Norman would have more of a problem with that, but he always says that he trusts the show's writers, and that he will play Daryl until he's 80, if they let him. It’s always endearing that he has that kind of loyalty to the show, but now I'm wondering if there’s more to it than that. Maybe one reason he’s said things like that is to hint that at some point, Daryl is going to come front and center and be a leader, just as he was in 4a. Him leading at the prison probably foreshadowed his leadership once Rick, the current sheriff, wasn't there anymore.

Finally, let’s turn to the crux of my debate over whether is Lauren is leaving. The first line that comes to mind and suggests she might be leaving/dying is when Daryl said to Beth in Still, “You ain’t never gonna see Maggie again.” I actually worried that Maggie might get the bat in 6x16 because of that line, but there were plenty of reasons to think she wouldn’t as well.

Now, if she’s really leaving the show, and so is the current sheriff (Rick), and it’s looking more and more like Beth will show up in S9, Beth really may never see Maggie again. (Which totally sucks! 😥 )

But another line from Still sort of clashes with this. A line I’m constantly going back to: “I’m not Michonne, I’m not Carol, I’m not Maggie, but I made it!” We keep saying that at some point Michonne will have to lead instead of Rick. I’ve just always thought that he would step down, as I’ve said above. But once again, AL leaving the show just paves the way for Beth’s line to be fulfilled, as it would leave Michonne leading Alexandria. Something we’ve been waiting for, for a long time. But I also feel like this suggests Maggie needs to be alive and leading. So I’m not sure which way it will go.

Then my FB peeps, including M-Nonny and @frangipanilove came up with even more examples I hadn’t considered. 

In 8x01, Maggie says to Rick, “One more battle. And I’m gonna be there, at least for the first part.” Then Rick says to Maggie, “After this, I’m following you.” So the theory is that “this” was All Out War, and if Maggie leaves or dies, Rick will follow her. It may have been a very blatant foreshadowing of that.

And back to Daryl’s line about not seeing Maggie again? Right before he says that, he mentions Rick. “You ain’t never gonna see them again. Rick…You ain’t never gonna see Maggie again.” Mentioning Rick always made sense in context for the most part, because Rick and Daryl were close and of all the people at the prison, Daryl was feeling the loss of his brother. But think about that. He specifically mentions Rick and Maggie that Beth will never see again. Not Carol or Michonne or Judith. Now AL and LC may be leaving the show at the same time. Can that possibly be a coincidence?

It’s this symbolism and dialogue foreshadowing that are convincing me, much more than anything outside the world of the show, that AL and LC really may be leaving. Like I said, as much as it sucks and I don’t want them to leave, it’s actually a good thing for TD.

Does it mean they’ll both die? Not necessarily. Rick could “follow” Maggie in some other way that doesn’t mean death, but I wouldn’t necessarily get my hopes up about that either. I’ve thought more than once that, although I hope Rick doesn’t die and he just leaves the group for a while like Morgan has, it would also be a bit of a disservice to his character. Because Rick would really never leave Judith and Michonne. But it’s something maybe we could accept as a trade-off for not killing his character since the actor wants to leave for a time, even if it’s unrealistic.

But…Rick AND Maggie leaving their children. Just cuz? Yeah, that’s really pushing the limits of reality and I doubt the writers would even attempt something that absurd. And then there’s Daryl’s line about Beth never seeing them again.

If I'm right, and all this was planned when Gimple first took the helm, then chances are most of the main characters have known about it since then. Maybe not exact details or when it would play out specifically, but I believe that most of the main ones have known about Beth’s eventual return since S5 or earlier. If they knew that, then they also probably knew Andrew would be leaving at some point.

Just one more thing I want to throw out there that I thought of this morning. Well, two things, but they go hand in hand. Everyone is saying AL and LC will only be in 6 episodes this season, right? Well, chances are episode 6 will air either at the very end of November or the beginning of December, depending on when the premiere is. Remember this walker:

There’s a November calendar behind her, which is what has made us hope to see Beth in November each season since she disappeared. There’s also all the Christmas/Santa Clause symbolism that could suggest December. Now, we could hope for that this season, and it will be no different than when we hoped for it in previous seasons. I’m just saying that AL and LC leaving the show right around that same time may not be a coincidence. We certainly didn’t have that happening in previous seasons.

Finally, assuming Beth shows up in S9, we certainly don’t know when it will be. As we’ve said before, she could show up for the audience in episode 1, as Morgan did in S5, but not actually arrive at wherever TF is until much later in the season. You would hope that she would show up concurrently with AL and LC leaving, just so it’s less sad (trading some hope for some tragedy) but with Daryl’s line about her not seeing them again, chances are she won’t show up until after they’re gone.

So I was just thinking about how we’ve always said that Daryl will have to be in a very dark, hopeless place before Beth returns. We’ve thought he’d reached that place several times throughout the seasons: after Beth, in Them, after Denise, when he was Negan’s prisoner in The Cell. But if he loses both Rick and Maggie, chances are that will be worse than anything we’ve seen thus far.

Oh, and one more thing. (Sorry.) Remember all the child and baby symbolism around Beth? (Details HERE.) If we do lose both Maggie and Rick, there will be two small children (Judith and Baby Hershel), both with very strong ties to Beth and Daryl, who will need parenting. Just saying.  

So these have been my swirling thoughts over the past few days since this news broke. No matter what happens, I for one am still very interested to see what direction the show takes. I’ll be sticking around to find out.

Sorry this to so long. If you're still reading, many thanks and go you!

[campwintersoul]

Wintersoul Report Day 9

*~Hey there campers! Counselor Wander here for another report on camp happenings. Looks like a messy one today too. Excellent!~

*~Due to unforeseen circumstances, two events were cancelled today. Santem’s grotto ended up being flooded and the Gelid Lake was deemed to be too unsafe for the amount of participants needed in Ice Hockey. But the other planned event was satisfactory! For everyone that mattered anyways heheheh~

"A KEY FACET OF KINDNESS IS PUTTING YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS, AND A KEY FACET OF INTEGRITY IS STAYING RESOLUTE IN THE FACE OF INSURMOUNTABLE ODDS!!" ~Camp Counselor Cam

*~Hmm, I wonder what the odds could be?~

*~The Master Janitor organized the main event of the evening. A grand Paintball challenge to splatter the camp in chromatic glory! Alas, there as a shortage of paint based armaments. The obvious solution was to give these tools of destruction to the Counselors only!~

Geist, floating in the air with a sniper

Scrublord Papyrus teamed up with the tiny Skela, making a skeletal tower of guns!

Camp Counselor Nero toting a paint-shotgun and a will to DESTROY!

Counselor Doggo, dressed for guerrilla warfare! Camo and even paint grenades, somebody wants to see some kids get splattered...

The Spot & Splatter Team of Dogamy and Dogaressa

 Counselor Cam with his cheating aimbot of a Sniper, henceforth dubbed ‘The Enforcer’.

[Follow da Rulez ye miscreants!]

*~Beautiful, sweet vengeance.~

*~The rules were simple. The Kindness Campers were tasked with gathering 15 flags hidden around the arena in one hour. The Calamity Counselors would take potshots at the gathers whenever they made an attempt. The Integrity Campers would then attempt to defend their assigned gatherer with a shield they were given. If a gatherer was hit, they and their defender sat out a round. No magic was allowed. From the campers anyways heheh.~

*~The battle...well, it was a mess obviously. The counselors spared nobody! Round after round, they splattered the campers with paint, with only a few flags gathered each time. Scrub in particular had an impressive count, and Counselor Nero was absolute merciless with that shotgun!...even if they missed at close range more that a few times. And Geist! He was terrible. Hovering in the air with a clear line of sight, but missing more often than not. That was just sad, skelesmith. The Dog Squad made up for it though! Everything was looking to be in the counselors favor...~

*~Then the traitor arrived.~

[Your crimes have been etched in history Counselor. Your name shall live in infamy.]

*~A new marksman appeared, and her first action was a case of friendly fire! Seis, how could you?! This sole action marked the beginning of the end. You thought it was chaotic before? Hell broke loose after! And it was wonderful!!~

*~While Counselor Cam tried to maintain order, entropy already had its hooks set in. As if there wasn’t enough paint flying around, a creature from a mythic land arrived...~

[Extrememely rare proof of the existence of a Canadian.]

*~Counselor Amatsu barged  in with an arsenal, targeting Camper and Counselor alike! Nobody was safe! The amount of paint being flung about was staggering, It was even missing the arena entirely and raining down on other areas of the camp. Being the head Janitor, this sent Cam into a fit! So he grabbed his phone, and initiated Operation X The Town Red.~

[And you thought the Canadian was overdoing it!]

*~That’s right. These madmen brought in the heavy artillery. And you know what? Despite these storm you brats still won! Congrats to Aiden, Scan, Jaime [ @youwinatball] and Omen for grabbing the last flags!~

[Your victory was in vain though! Poor CC Cam...]

*~It ended happily enough. As a reward for enduring our terrible wrath, Campers were treated to ice and yogurt of every flavor with every topping imaginable. And if that wasn’t enough, Sasha and the temmies made pizza too! Just spoiled rotten this night heheh. Ah well, you earned it!~

[More News Under the Cut!]

*~A new tem at the camp? We have received reports of a very unusual temmie wandering around the Cafeteria and Snowy Prairie. A rather lupine one really...sounds very familiar. Bah, must be my imagination. They sounded harmless enough, more interested in getting some food and playing. Another kid to babysit...the campers took a liking to him though, so guess he can stay.~

*~....You kids couldn’t open a coconut? Seriously? Some of you kids fought a massive virtue devouring parasite, and this coconut defeated you? Angelo...how? Just...how did you mess that up?! Thankfully Lacie was around to help, guess you can’t crack any shell with enough patience. Now um. What are you going to do with the coconut now?~

*~Of course even then you miscreants still caused trouble. There are reports that the littlest temgon rider and her mighty steed encountered a gathering of curfew breakers in the cafeteria! It appeared that Casey [ @friskandmisc], Aura [ @soulsgained], Wren [ @sixsmolsouls] and Rufus were having a little post-curfew date party in there along with the strange new tem when the furworm came a’knocking. Casey distracted the dragon to buy time for the others, though at least he got to ride on Temgon with Winter back to the cabins. But the Curfew Enforcement Beast would not be duped! They returned for the other miscreants...who promptly got a ride back to their cabins too. Except for the  tem. He got carried back like a kitten. Which I think he was if these reported sightings are accurate. Hope it was worth it you reprobates! Gonna be watching you like a hawk next time!~

*~Hmmm, that intercom saw a bit of use earlier in the day. Seems like the counselors had some choice words for you all.~

*~Sappy, aren’t they? heheh Alright, that it for today. Thanks for watching, and keep an eye out for the next report!~

[daniedoodles]

Danie’s Dilemmas Ep. 23: Kinda Sus

Let me just fucking TELL YOU about yesterday. But before I move forward, it’d probably be best if I gave the people involved an alias: apart from me, there were three other people: my friend, Travis (her guy), Bruno (the other guy). 

To make any sense of what the hell went down, I’m going to start from the beginning. On Monday, my friend played it off as if she and I were heading downtown on Thursday, and that if Travis was around the area around the time that we would be there, he should come and join us and bring Bruno along with him. We thought that this was a good idea initially because (1) my friend and I live on completely opposite ends of the city from Travis and Bruno, (2) the thought of finally meeting these two guys who have single handedly swooned us was riveting in itself. When Travis finally responded, agreeing to the meet up, we got all excited and shit, as you would expect from two teenage girls, but we were more so wanting to puke or shit or do both at once without knowing which way to direct our inner forces. I got so nervous that I lived Tuesday, the following day, as if it were Wednesday and I was panicking about what the hell the plan was because I thought that it was Thursday the next day. That was badly worded, but I hope whoever’s reading this still gets what I mean. 

Come Wednesday night (the actual Wednesday), you shouldn’t be surprised to know that I had a fucking panic attack lmao. My mantra of “don’t set expectations” was not helping by any means, instead it just let it sink further in that “holy shit, we’re meeting these guys tomorrow what the fuck”. My friend was having her own version of a panic attack. To cut it short, we were rendered into an anxious mess. And so the plan was decided: I’d go to her place at 11am, take the bus to the station together (we chilled at Tim’s for a bit because it was too early to head directly downtown), then set out at 12:30 to meet them. We really debated just cancelling THAT last minute, but somehow we still managed to suck it tf up and get our asses on that train. Not easy. We felt queasy. A bitch (me) couldn’t breathe, and my friend was just about ready to puke her entire stomach out. The train ride felt like an eternity, until finally it was our stop. We waited anxiously for their train to arrive. It was my friend that spotted them the second they got off. The panic fell as quickly as it rose in that moment. We managed to wave, meet in the middle, and greet each other in haste. I supposed all our minds went haywire that second - the air felt still until my friend broke the silence with a “now what?” to which Bruno quickly suggested that we walk this one specific street. Friendly, I thought. We split off into what I guess you could call “couples”: myself and Bruno leading the way, while my friend and Travis brought up the rear. I can’t talk much on part of my friend’s silent conversations with her guy, but I can tell you that my conversation with Bruno was oddly focused on the weather. The small talk was.. average, I would say. It didn’t last very long, neither did this whole boy-girl grouping. When we were walking in the middle of the street and Bruno and I were ahead, my friend told me to walk faster, but instead I moved to walk right next to her and Bruno went to walk right next to Travis. We looked as if we were in a band. All wearing black. All wearing doc martens (with the exception of one Travis with shoes that were one size too small). Chains. Green. The idea was badass. I whisper over to my friend every once in while going “feel better?” and she’d answer with “yeah, much”. It was calm, but very much separated. Perhaps it was because our comforts were too close within grasp (friends), or maybe none of us wanted to face, much less acknowledge, the tension amongst us... for whichever reason, a majority of our conversations were limited to whispers and the occasional outburst of laughter between my friend and I... and Travis and Bruno. The high was brief, that much I can say. 

My friend, although we established earlier that should stray away from milk tea, given the risks, she was eager to put a stop to the separation and called out that she wanted to go to the milk tea place in Chinatown. We turn around and head back to Chinatown, where this long line of people waited their turn to get their order. I didn’t want one myself so I took on the responsibility of saving us a seat, not that I even had to really. Most of the people that bought something just went ahead and left. I did anyway, because I told my friend that maybe it would be a good opportunity to buy us some time to think of what the hell to do afterwards. I waited for what felt like an entire hour for them to finally get what they asked for and accompany me at the table. In the time I had in between getting there and finding seats, I had enough time to write an episode on my phone (I won’t be posting it because it was basically me just swearing and going over my fucking head), and apparently I looked bored as hell. Not wrong. The conversations were as slow and unreliable as going on a video call in the absence of good service. It was unreliable in the sense that once one question was asked and an answer was given, there wasn’t an immediate follow up, much less an enthusiasm to pursue the topic present any further. Too many awkward silences. Lots of piercing stares that I could not for the life of me maintain. I was seated facing Bruno, while my friend and Travis were facing each other around the square table. The most I could do was give Bruno a brief glance because there was something about his stare that was not in the least welcoming, rather uninviting or... could I go as far as to say that it looked mischievous?? My personality and my voice were actually not there. As far as I’m concerned, I wasn’t really there. Seriously. Have you ever seen me not talking someone’s ear off?? Have you ever heard of “Danie was so quiet”? bitch tf. Whoever that was, it ain’t me. Sure, I’d ask questions here and there about them and their sport, but the extent of my conversation skills ended there and were definitely not up to par. My friend, for the second time, who would marry a milk tea if she could, didn’t finish her milk tea again. Bad omen. We set out again, for the mall this time, just to keep things moving or whatever. 

We get to the store that we usually enter to get into the main part of the mall until Travis stays behind, and all we hear is Bruno calling saying “yo hold up”. My friend and I get back out, when Travis goes: “you guys go ahead, I just gotta do something (or was it meet someone?)” kinda sus. We head in without him anyway, pretending to browse through the clothes that were well beyond our spending capabilities, until eventually we drift into the aisles of accessories where my friend whispers a question to me: “you should really talk to Bruno” and I said: “you don’t think I’ve been trying? I’ve been wracking my brain this entire day for things to ask of even say but I’m coming up short every time because all of it has been done through text”. After twenty minutes of fruitless browsing, Bruno finally comes up to us and goes “are you guys gonna buy anything”

my friend and I: I thought we were waiting for Travis?

Bruno: oh, he’s been waiting outside for a couple of minutes. 

... well shit. 

So we’re finally out, heading over to Pandora for my friend’s mom. When we left, we realized that Bruno was nowhere to be found (turns out he went to the washroom). We kept walking anyway, and this time, to H&M. Travis insisted on waiting outside just in case Bruno came looking for us. While we were in the store, we couldn’t help discussing how badly it was already going and how much we wanted to just leave, right then and there. But my friend brought me back to my senses by saying that it would have been a pretty shitty move on our part to leave without a word. Fair enough. I was briefly blinded by the desire to escape the awkwardness. At this point we rated the day a 4/10 and a 3/10, respectively, with mine being the latter. Never have a been in a situation that I so desperately wanted to flee from. As soon as we got back outside to join them, we saw that they were just about to take a seat, but they stood back up and started walking with us to the gardens. It wasn’t long before we reached the restrooms, where my friend and I, once again, resumed our discussions on the suspicious atmosphere. We couldn’t find them at first on our way out and we were sort of upset saying all kinds of shit (hopefully quietly) like “guess we better find them.. see them anywhere..?”. We didn’t stop walking or anything. Then I sensed that there were people that were walking really close behind us, I turn around and tell my friend “oh wait, they’re right behind us”. She jumped. My mind immediately went to “oh fuck, what if they heard us talking about them??” 

The walk to the gardens was slow. That’s another thing. They were both taller than us, yet they walked so much slower like shit.. they really be taking their sweet as time. It was so hard to resist the need to walk briskly but it was more awkward to walk faster and have them fall behind, so we endured the snail’s pace. We sat next to this group of people that were rehearsing a dance, to which Travis made the comment of “at least it ain’t some gay shit like fuckn badminton”

... 

Low blow, but honestly I was expecting the comment to come sooner in the day. I think we were all just desperate to laugh about something so I joined them. I didn’t really mind that they were shitting on my sport, considering it’s nothing new and it is (to an extent) funny. We were on and off with the discussions on differences between the north and south high schools that we attended, how the north was dominated by southeast Asians, while the south had its healthy mix of all races, to say the least. This was when I sort of noticed how Bruno, who was supposedly my “guy”, kept directing questions towards my friend. I wasn’t really bothered (yet). Travis mentioned that he had to meet someone at the train station because he had a client whom he was selling his shirt to and he gave us the option of either accompanying him or just waiting for him because he said it would be brief. My friend tried making it my responsibility to decide on where we stand with this but all I said back was “up to you”. I forgot she couldn’t say no lmao. So it was settled that we would all head to the station together to meet with this buyer. When we got there, Bruno turned back to my friend and I, standing really close, chuckling to himself. My natural instinct told me to back up (so I did). The chuckles continued and he said “what’s good? you guys been quiet”. I don’t even think I said anything. And if I did, I was thankfully cut off by Travis who announced that the deal was done and that we should go to the library, which is where we spent a majority of our time. We sat there, in a table by the window with a clear view of the train station.. the mockery. My desire to leave was unwavering. I figured we’d have a game to play or something to keep our minds busy while we thought of conversation starters, but apparently someone stole the UNO cards and that was the only game worth playing. Again, silence. My body language wasn’t exactly helpful. Halfway through the night I noticed how I always had my arms crossed. Closed off. I suppose in the back of my head, that’s what I felt like I should have been doing, but on the surface, I was only doing that because I was cold as shit. I also had a bad habit of turning my phone on and off, pretending to text, or sometimes texting my friend who was sitting right next to me, or texting my own mother about how terribly the day was going. I was aware, but that didn’t stop me lmao. Bruno kept asking my friend questions, complimenting her and so on. I vividly remember my thought process in that very moment. It went something like:

- wtf why isn’t he asking me anything

- it’s cause he always insists on talking everyday, what’s left there to even discuss?

- is it even worth getting worked up about this if you weren’t interested to begin with? 

- okay, it kinds bothers me... lol nah, nvm. I’m too lazy to pursue pettiness. 

So I laughed to myself, thinking, “how pathetic am I”. I didn’t really want to go down that road so I distracted myself by purposely zoning out by staring out the window, counting how many trains we’ve let pass without us in it, on the way back home. Bruno’s glances were all mostly directed towards my friend. At that point I didn’t even care. Just thought it was worth mentioning. Then LOW AND BEHOLD Travis asks me if I remembered this one girl that we both knew from our past. Although it didn’t last long, I was pretty accustomed to how brief one topic started and concluded. I tried asking more about what happened between the two of them because apparently there was something there, but he closed it off. I respect it, I guess. I tried asking them about another girl that Travis, Bruno, and I all mutually knew but again, short-lived. I found out some shocking stuff, but not the kind worth telling here. A couple more questions passed by like “are your guys’ parents strict?”, “do you have a curfew?”, “do you guys like hard liquor? - what’s your favourite drink?”, etc. etc. etc. 

The funniest part of being in the library is hands down when Bruno took the guitar that was free for anyone to play. When he returned to the table with the instrument, it wasn’t long before we all saw that one string was severed. Also, keep in mind that Bruno is a lefty. The guitar is made for right-handed people. Needless to say, the chords were obviously reversed, the guitar wasn’t tuned properly and it took every nerve in my body to not burst out into my ugliest cackle. 

Bruno: *strums guitar*

Travis: ... dude, just no. stop

my friend and I: *shaking and about to break out into laughter*

Travis and Bruno were jokingly discussing how much money they could get out of the guitar if they sold it:

Travis: this could probably be like $100

Bruno: I see this as a solid $80

Also Bruno: *puts down guitar* *hits it on something hard*

Travis: nah bro, that shit’s $50 now

lol what. 

6:00pm could not come sooner. Thank goodness my friend saw the time and pretended as if my mom wanted us both home immediately, otherwise I wouldn’t have known how else to get out of the situation without it being even more uncomfortable. Slowly we make our way back to the station. My friend was determined to get a photo with them for her streaks, so we all huddled over her phone and she quickly took the photo, only to have her hair cover my face. Whatever. I was no longer phased. Their train came before ours. The goodbyes were as haste as the greetings: 

Travis: “it was nice meeting you guys - bye” 

There was a quick exchange of glances with Bruno (again, I broke it off) 

Bruno (hesitantly): bye

Me (hesitantly): bye

And their train was off. The moment it left, my friend and I could do nothing but stare at each other and go “that was painful”. 

The hunger was settling between the two of us, sat our asses down at Wendy’s and scarfed down both of our burgers. Well, more like inhale. On the bus to my place I somehow managed to make my friend cry because I got her to visualize Travis as her grad date, in her ideal e-boy attire: a suit, but never without the chain. It’ll never cease to amaze me, the sorts of things that trigger the waterworks in her. 

We ended the night at my place where I read her cards and was immediately disheartened that they hadn’t changed. It didn’t help at all that she continued to sob at how beautiful her man looked in the one photo she saw of him on Instagram, and that it was followed by another spam post with the caption that just ready “This day was-”. 

I got a text from Bruno at 2am, saying his usual “goodnight”, only that this time, it was also accompanied by his vague thoughts on what happened that day, which he described as “unorganized” but that he was “glad that we all experienced it together”. I chose not to respond because too soon because (1) I was already on a call with someone, recollecting the series of events that unfolded and (2) I was just not in the mood after how badly the hang out went in my opinion. I didn’t get to respond until this morning. Oddly enough, I don’t feel all that bad about it. 

Since this episode is long enough, let me sum up my thoughts in jot notes:

- I felt a lot like an afterthought. By this I mean that Bruno would ask my friend something, then ask me “what about you”, which to me gave off the impression that he thought “oh shit, right, her. I almost forgot she was here.”

- I have been asked by a couple of my friends if I actually like Bruno, but to be honest... I think for a majority of the time, I was somehow forcing myself to like him for no reason. That’s done now though. I think after I realized how varied and separate our lifestyles were, I cut the shit. It’s even difficult picturing ever seeing him again in person after all that just happened. If anything, he’s a friend. But definitely nothing more. 

- my personality FAILED me that entire day. I’m still shocked by how I kept to myself a majority of the night. I’m blaming it on the fear of embarrassing both my friend and I. Had I not done that, it would’ve probably went a little better in my eyes. 

- double dates are NOT a good idea, unless everyone knows everyone equally. Or rather, everyone is just as much as stranger to the other. That way the ball keeps rolling, the questions keep coming. But really, if I were you, don’t be deceived by the thought of how great of an idea it would be to bring your friends along to a hang out that you could just as easily call a “date”. You get too attached to your friend and it completely eliminates your opportunity to get to know the other person because like I said, your friend in this scenario is like your security blanket. And as long as you don’t let that go, you can’t actually fully embrace what’s new and right in front of you. 

- I have no intention of repeating this hang out, unless they ask us and not the other way around. Even then, I’ll probably have my doubts still. 

- PS there was also that part in the very beginning when Bruno tried saying my name and he somehow came up with “DaYknee” and “Dahknee” (second one is correct btw) and Travis just goes: oh.. my god, while my friend says: no one even calls her that

- I was about to say that people call me Danielle mostly but some of the people in my (I hesitate to say IB classes) classes call me Danie as well. That was another funny thing. 

All in all, by the end of the day, I’d say it was a 5/10. 

The highlight of yesterday was probably my call with a friend, who now doesn’t even recall this whole story after I told him about it during the call. 

If there’s anything about Thursday that I can say... here it is:

bro, das craaazy.

And a couple of months from now and I reminisce with my friend, we’d say:

remember dat?

keep up, will ya. ;)

[ultrasfcb-blog]

Premier League predictions: Lawro v actor Mark Wahlberg

Premier League predictions: Lawro v actor Mark Wahlberg

Premier League predictions: Lawro v actor Mark Wahlberg

Liverpool’s journey to Wembley to play Tottenham is the decide of the weekend fixtures because the Premier League resumes after the worldwide break.

The identical sport final season noticed Spurs clinch an emphatic 4-1 win, with Reds defender Dejan Lovren enduring a very torrid time in opposition to Harry Kane, however will Jurgen Klopp’s aspect fare any higher on Saturday?

BBC Sport’s soccer knowledgeable Mark Lawrenson says: “I’ve a sense Liverpool shall be Lovren-less this time.

“If I’m proper, will probably be an enormous check for Joe Gomez on the coronary heart of the Liverpool defence as a result of I’d count on Kane to play.

Lawro is making predictions for all 380 top-flight matches this season, in opposition to a wide range of company.

This week’s visitor is actor Mark Wahlberg, star of latest action-thriller movie Mile 22.

Leicester Sq., Waterford & Fullman – Mark Wahlberg talks soccer

Wahlberg grew up taking part in American sports activities and admits soccer, or soccer as he calls it, will not be his old flame.

He struggled with a couple of Premier League crew names when he was choosing this week’s scores – like Leicester Sq., Waterford and Fullman for instance.

However he has been a fan of the game since watching the 2011 Ladies’s World Cup, and confirmed a knack for predictions after turning into an avid viewer of the boys’s match in Russia this summer season.

“I began watching it, and fell in love with it,” Wahlberg advised BBC Sport. “I used to be truly eight from 9 with my predictions main proper as much as the ultimate sport.”

Lawro, be warned.

Wahlberg thinks Jimmy Silva, the character he performs in Mile 22, would make a superb footballer as a result of he has bought a “by no means quit, by no means give in angle – he’s win in any respect prices, whether or not you get a yellow card or a purple card, you’ve got to do what should do”.

Premier League predictions – week 5 End result Lawro Mark SATURDAY Tottenham v Liverpool x-x 1-1 3-1 Bournemouth v Leicester x-x 1-1 0-1 Chelsea v Cardiff x-x 3-0 1-2 Huddersfield v Crystal Palace x-x 1-2 2-1 Man Metropolis v Fulham x-x 3-0 2-0 Newcastle v Arsenal x-x 2-1 0-3 Watford v Man Utd x-x 0-2 1-2 SUNDAY Wolves v Burnley x-x 0-2 5-0 Everton v West Ham x-x 2-1 0-1 MONDAY Southampton v Brighton x-x 1-1 4-2

An accurate consequence (choosing a win, draw or defeat) is value 10 factors. The precise rating earns 40 factors.

LAWRO’S PREDICTIONS

All kick-offs 15:00 BST until acknowledged.

SATURDAY

Tottenham v Liverpool (12:30 BST)

Liverpool got here unstuck in opposition to Spurs at Wembley final season however I’ve a sense that each groups would possibly cancel one another out this time.

So I’m going to go for a draw.

Each groups are going properly, and I believe they’d each be glad sufficient for some extent.

Lawro’s prediction: 1-1

Mark’s prediction: 3-1

Match preview

Bournemouth v Leicester

Bournemouth suffered their first defeat of the season earlier than the worldwide break, taking place to two late Chelsea goals.

Leicester lost at home to Liverpool final day trip and there’s a little little bit of strain on Foxes boss Claude Puel although, just like the Cherries, they’ve made an honest begin.

It is a robust name. You understand that the Cherries will play attacking soccer, however I believe Leicester will get one thing from this one.

Lawro’s prediction: 1-1

Mark’s prediction: Bournemouth and Lie-ster Sq.? ah – Lie-ster Metropolis? Leicester Metropolis?

I do not know any of the Leicester Metropolis gamers however I’d say they win. 0-1

Match preview

Chelsea v Cardiff

Like Liverpool and Watford, Chelsea have gotten a 100% report from their first 4 league video games and I see that excellent begin persevering with right here.

Cardiff, in distinction, haven’t received but however I do not suppose their supervisor Neil Warnock shall be too involved, even when they lose once more on Saturday.

The large video games for the Bluebirds are in opposition to the groups which can be going to be round them in direction of the underside of the desk – something they get at Stamford Bridge is a bonus however they don’t wish to be on the tip of a heavy defeat.

I might count on the Welsh aspect to be very aggressive, however Chelsea can have an excessive amount of for them.

Lawro’s prediction: 3-0

Mark’s prediction: 1-2

Match preview

Huddersfield v Crystal Palace

The excellent news for Crystal Palace is that it seems to be like Wilfried Zaha is on his way back from his groin injury. It looks like they hardly ever win with out him.

Huddersfield are one other of the 5 top-flight groups with out a league win however they are going to be pleased with the purpose they bought at Everton final day trip.

Palace, whose solely win got here artwork Fulham on the opening day, have not likely bought going but both, however I believe Zaha will assist them edge this one.

Lawro’s prediction: 1-2

Mark’s prediction: 2-1

Match preview

Man Metropolis v Fulham

Fulham let a two-goal lead slip in opposition to Brighton final day trip and only ended up with a point, which isn’t a superb omen forward of a visit to Etihad Stadium.

However, like Cardiff’s journey to Chelsea, this can be a free hit for one of many newly-promoted sides.

No one is anticipating them to get something from the defending champions, and their purpose shall be to have one thing constructive to remove from the day, even when it isn’t the consequence.

By that I imply not being torn aside and creating some probabilities themselves, however I do not see Fulham going to Metropolis and scoring so good luck with that.

Lawro’s prediction: 3-0

Mark’s prediction: Manchester Metropolis versus Fullman? Man Metropolis to win. 2-0

Match preview

Newcastle v Arsenal

Newcastle supervisor Rafael Benitez has had some stick for the way in which he has been setting his groups up so defensively, though the Magpies followers are nonetheless very a lot on his aspect.

Saturday shall be no completely different – you understand his focus shall be as a lot on stopping Arsenal as it’s on how his personal crew get ahead.

I simply have a sense it’d work this time. Arsenal’s gamers will not be the one ones who’ve been away on worldwide obligation in fact, however this could be a superb time for Newcastle to play them.

Benitez’s aspect beat the Gunners at St James’ Park last season, to successfully guarantee they stayed up, and I’m going to go for a similar consequence.

Lawro’s prediction: 2-1

Mark’s prediction: If I do not decide the Arsenal, my buddy Liam will most likely be very upset. 0-3

Match preview

Watford v Man Utd (17:30 BST)

Watford are flying, and far has been product of the half in that performed by Troy Deeney’s partnership with Andre Grey up entrance.

This shall be an actual check for Manchester United’s defence, however it’s one I believe they are going to move.

United’s win at Burnley final day trip was an enormous consequence for them, not simply because they wanted the three factors after shedding two video games in a row, however as a result of they wanted to cease all of the chatter round Jose Mourinho’s future.

I’m going to go for an additional United win right here, though I believe will probably be shut.

Lawro’s prediction: 0-2

Mark’s prediction: Waterford v Manchester United? ‘Man U’ to win. 1-2

SUNDAY

Wolves v Burnley (13:30 BST)

Wolves picked up their first top-flight win of the brand new marketing campaign final day trip, courtesy of Adam Traore’s stoppage-time strike at West Ham, they usually have regarded vigorous every time I’ve seen them this season.

Burnley are but to win a league sport this season and have just one level from their first 4 league video games in addition to going out of the Europa League.

With the possibilities that they had at Southampton on the opening weekend of the season, the Clarets ought to actually have crushed them, nevertheless it has nonetheless been a disappointing begin for Sean Dyche’s aspect.

It is a crucial sport for them and, given Burnley’s kind, lots of people would possibly have a look at it and suppose they fancy Wolves.

However that is the kind of sport that Burnley did properly in final season they usually confirmed then that they’re able to getting a constructive consequence out of it.

Lawro’s prediction: 0-2

Mark’s prediction: Wolverhampton Wanderers versus Burnley? Wow, these groups have some good names. As an instance 5-Zero to Wolverhampton Wanderers.

Everton v West Ham (16:00 BST)

West Ham are the one top-flight crew with out a level this season and their supervisor Manuel Pellegrini has bought a couple of issues to kind out proper by means of his crew.

Defensively, the Hammers are abysmal. They had been so, so open in opposition to Wolves they usually have been the identical in each different sport.

West Ham 0-1 Wolves: Hammers have made very dangerous begin – Pellegrini

With out altering the personnel – as in going to get some extra gamers – I can not see what they’re probably going to do to vary that.

In the meantime, Everton are nonetheless unbeaten and have been taking part in all proper however will really feel they’ve dropped factors – of their house draw with Huddersfield final day trip, or away at Wolves, for instance.

I believe they are going to win on Sunday however there are a lot harder checks to come back.

Lawro’s prediction: 2-1

Mark’s prediction: 0-1

Match preview

MONDAY

Southampton v Brighton (20:00 BST)

Each of those groups have 4 factors from their first 4 video games and each have picked up a formidable win alongside the way in which too – Brighton against Manchester United in August and Southampton at Crystal Palace final day trip.

Southampton had been glorious – Hughes

This must be an in depth contest – the Seagulls confirmed they’re able to scrap once they got here again from 2-Zero down to attract with Fulham final day trip and, with Danny Ings up entrance, Southampton are wanting way more harmful up entrance that they did final season.

I’m delighted for Danny as a result of he had such a dreadful time of it with accidents at Liverpool. He’s a kind of gamers who everybody loves, due to his work ethic and the way in which he educated, so it’s good he’s again taking part in and scoring.

Lawro’s prediction: 1-1

Mark’s prediction: Southampton versus Brighton and Hove Albion? As an instance Southampton, as a result of I do not know how one can say that different title once more. 4-2

Lawro was chatting with BBC Sport’s Chris Bevan.

How did Lawro do final week?

Lawro bought 4 appropriate outcomes, together with one excellent rating, from 10 matches for a complete of 70 factors.

He was crushed by BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Present host Greg James, who bought 5 appropriate outcomes, together with one precise rating, for a complete of 80 factors.

Whole scores after week 4 Lawro 250 Friends 300

+/- DENOTE POSITION DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LAWRO’S TABLE AND ACTUAL POSITION POS TEAM P W D L PTS +/- =1 Man Metropolis 4 4 0 0 12 +3 =1 Man Utd 4 4 0 0 12 +9 =3 Chelsea 4 3 1 0 10 -1 4 Liverpool 4 2 2 0 8 -3 5 Tottenham 4 2 1 1 7 0 =6 Arsenal 4 2 0 2 6 +3 =6 Everton 4 2 0 2 6 +1 =6 Southampton 4 2 0 2 6 +6 =6 Watford 4 2 0 2 6 -3 10 Bournemouth 4 1 2 1 5 -4 =11 Burnley 4 1 1 2 4 +8 =11 Crystal Palace 4 1 1 2 4 +4 =11 Fulham 4 1 1 2 4 +2 =11 Leicester 4 1 1 2 4 -3 =11 West Ham 4 1 1 2 4 +9 =16 Brighton 4 1 0 3 3 -2 =16 Cardiff 4 0 3 1 3 0 =16 Newcastle 4 0 3 1 3 +2 =16 Wolves 4 1 0 3 3 -5 20 Huddersfield 4 0 1 3 1 -3

GUEST LEADERBOARD 2018-19

SCORE GUEST LEADERBOARD 120 Joe Thomas 80 Greg James 62.5 Lawro (common after 4 weeks) 60 Idris Elba 40 Tom Grennan

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