#like i haven't cried this much over a character's death although i felt like i was gonna go down with the flu with gojo

[nanaminokanojo]

JJK 259 Spoilers

The amount of tears I've cried over these panels.

"And when you're in the trenches and you're under fire I will cover you... We're living different lives, heaven only knows if we'll make it back with all our fingers and our toes... And if we hit on troubled water, I'll be the one to keep you warm and safe. And we'll be carrying each other until we say goodbye on our dying day because I've got you brother." -Kodaline, "Brother"

[fshigur0]

ripped threads — suguru geto x fem!reader

ᯤ part two of heartburn; you have to read part one to understand the situation in this one.

pairings: suguru geto x fem!reader, platonic!satoru gojo x reader (only mentioned)

synopsys: "... you have definitely lost your mind and you wonder if there ever is a turning back from this — if you will ever find a way to cut the thread that has inevitably tangled itself around your heart."

warnings: spoilers if you've only watched season 1 of jjk! also i don't really mention the lore in its entirety! pure angst (tinies amount of fluff), slight mentions of death (major character!), dark & suggestive themes !!

a/n: i cried while writing this. i love him so much it hurtss, i decided not to add smut just because i want to hurt them further. pls enjoy and let me know!!<3<3

word count: 2k reading time: 8 minutes

It has been a few weeks since you have last seen him, and you can still reminisce how his lips felt on yours — not too rough, warm to the touch and with a sweetness you had never expected. 

You thought he would taste of tears, ashes or alcohol. You vividly remember how as teenagers the sharp aftertaste of nicotine on your tongue would make you wrinkle your nose. Yet, his lips were a delicacy you wish you could savour every day. 

You realize how much you love being held by him, inebriating yourself with his scent drenched in incense with just a hint of conditioner. You love it, but not quite: his perfume is suffocating, flooding your lungs until it washes over your brain with a wave of past memories you only wish you could forget. It reminds you of your lost youth, reminds you of his former self. It reminds you of your Suguru.

"Y/N." Satoru utters — he knows, how could he not? You have changed and the bags under your eyes are more prominent. You haven't been sleeping well, or maybe you haven't been sleeping at all.

"Have you seen him?"

"No."

"Have you been sleeping?"

"Yeah."

Your eyes stare at the ceiling as you lay on your best friend's bed. It's enough and he doesn't investigate further — although he notices how your thigh trembles and how you nibble your nails. He doesn't want to force it out of you even if he wishes he could just tell you to drop the act. And you know he's aware of what happened, yet it's easier for the both of you to act like you don't.

Your friendship with Satoru is one full of yets and what-ifs, but this doesn't seem to bother either one of you. He sometimes texts you out of nowhere and asks you to hang out, or calls you simply to know whether you got home safe. You appreciate it, but what you're feeling is nothing the Six-Eyed can fix. 

There's nothing left to fix.

For the past few weeks, you've been waiting in front of your doorstep. It's December, and the frost has covered everything in a thin line of white — it's really cold, but a few more minutes won't do you much harm. The wait has become your nourishment.

You hope for just a glimpse of him, yet your eyes are always met with nothing but the tiny flakes of snow falling down the sky. You hope for him to visit you back even if it's to hurt you even more. You're so desperate for him, you accept the twisted fate of his presence only bringing mysery upon you.

But if it's him, you would welcome even Death.

You sigh and a small cloud of vapour disperses into the air. You have definitely lost your mind and you wonder if there ever is a turning back from this — if you will ever find a way to cut the thread that has inevitably tangled itself around your heart.

"You will catch a cold in this weather."

The phrase is enough to make your heart skip a beat. You turn your head and your gaze softens at the sight of him: if only you had enough strength, you would push him away, you would shut your door and forget about him. Yet, the only thing you yearn for is for him to hold you in his arms.

"Suguru." You murmur, his name a reminder of the absurdity of your situation. "You're here."

He doesn't respond. He's standing at the entrance of your garden, hands in the pockets of his coat and long strands of hair covering his face. There's something extremely beautiful about his figure standing out in the whiteness of the snow; it's almost as if he's an apparition, some sort of miracle.

"I shouldn't be."

You bite the inside of your cheek — the few meters separating you feeling like a valley of unsaid words.

"But you are."

A low chuckle. "Yeah, I am."

An awkward silence follows and it almost feels like the world has frozen as the two of you stand in front of each other, eyes observing and analyzing every detail of your bodies.

"I came to say goodbye." He states, his attention fully on you. You look extremely fragile while playing with your fingertips, your skin exposed to the cold. He would take your hands and kiss them until they stop trembling. He would, but he does not.

"Where are you going?"

The innocence in your inquiry inflames his heart with a warmth he hasn't experienced in years.

"Nowhere," he takes some steps forward, his boots leaving footprints in the snow, "But I think it's better this way."

"You think?" You scoff and that doesn't surprise him. "So you came here just to abandon me again?"

"I'm not abandoning you... I'm setting you free."

You're taken aback. You see how his expression softens for a moment, his body merely a few centimetres from yours. He stretches out his arms and puts his hands on your shoulders, tightening the grip on them.

"Please let me do that, Y/N. Allow me to do that for you."

What he's asking of you is impossible — actually, it's extremely selfish. You've craved his touch for years, you've wished to know where he was or if he was okay, and now that you've finally got him back he wants to slip out of your life again. It's cruel.

Sorrow does not take long to mingle with resentment. You push him back, although he does not flinch much. He expects this from you, it's only natural.

"Have you ever cared about what I think? About what I want?"

"Caring about what you think or what you want won't change anything, Y/N. What do you want me to do?"

You turn around and head to open the front door, tears threatening to spill from your eyes, unwilling to reveal that he has succeeded in his intent to destroy you once again.

You try to slam the door behind you, though this does not happen. His hand holds it firmly, you lift your gaze and meet his eyes: there is no understanding, but you decipher an undertone of desperation hidden in the intensity of his expression.

"Do you want me to erase the things I have done? The people I have killed?" There's urgency in his tone as he furrows his brows, "I can't fix the irreparable, Y/N, there's nothing left to fix anymore."

Your lips tremble, reality catches you off guard and nearly takes your breath away; you are still struggling against his strength, in a mere attempt to close the door. But by now he is inside your house and there is nothing more you can do except listen to him. If you could get at least one sound out of your mouth right now, you would.

Suguru runs a hand through his black locks — they look extremely silky and soft. He exhales sharply, and you do too: you realize you have been holding your breath.

"You said you didn't care," your voice only a whisper, "When I said that I didn't love you. You said you didn't care."

"I do care, I never stopped." He confesses as he lifts your chin with his index. "That's why I have to do this, I can't be selfish anymore, not if it's you."

You want to believe him, you wish you could. You really want him to care as much as you have cared for the past decade. Yet, despite his words of sweetness akin to honey, you can't help but notice their bitter aftertaste.

But you find yourself to be inescapably addicted to that bitterness only he can serve you. You want your heart to be broken, if it's him who's tearing it piece to piece.

Your breaths are the only sound heard, if you could hear the pounding of your hearts, then you would probably understand the effect you have on each other. Suguru hesitates before his hand caresses your cheek, the tenderness makes you quiver.

"Please, hate me. I need you to hate me, to forget me."

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, the sincerity in his voice alarms you.

"I can't. I never did, I never would."

As you say that, he places one hand on the small of your back, pushing you toward him before his arms encircle your figure. He presses you against his chest, holding you close as if it were the last time, as if uniting in one hug all the years you have been apart. Your hands shyly find his back, until your fingers clutch the fabric of his coat.

That familiar scent of incense relaxes the muscles in your limbs.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, but I don't want you to forgive me. There is no need for you to do that."

His voice is hoarse in your ear, his warm breath makes your heart sink into an ocean of memories.

"There really is no space for us in this world, isn't it?" A wobbling smile manifests on your lips, undaunted tears carve your face.

You're still clinging onto hope, still clinging onto the ghost of him.

"If only I could have saved you," You run your hands through his hair, "if only I could have prevented what you've become. Do you think– do you think there could have been a world where we are happy?"

"There..." He hesitates trying to find the right words, but soon realizes there is no right way to say that, "There is no world where we are happy, but there is also no world where I don't love you."

He pulls his bust away to look at your face, his lips come close to your forehead where he places a kiss. He keeps talking, relishing every remnant of you in your sweet scent.

"My soul will always ache for yours, no matter where you are."

Suguru cups your cheeks and selfishly decides to kiss you one last time, breaths synchronizing and bodies longing for each other's warmth. This is the irony of your love: you are like the Sun and the Moon up in the same sky but never to meet, like two galaxies that are destined to increasingly stray away from one another.

"Promise me that as soon as I walk out this door, you won't think of me no more." He pleads, and you subconsciously shake your head but he holds you firmly. "You won't look for me, you will forget me — promise me that."

If only you understood that he never wanted that. He never wanted to abandon you, to disappear out of your life, to hurt you; Suguru Geto only wants to be by your side, to live a happily ever after he knows will never exist.

He only wants to be yours. Yet, he has to sacrifice that to save you from drowning along with him. He has done that ten years ago, and he has to do that again. Just for you, only for you, always for you.

You slightly nod, not finding enough strength to speak. Maybe not even finding the words anymore.

"You were always this stubborn." He pats your head and chuckles, the corners of his lips curving into a genuine smile.

The warmth of him is suddenly replaced by the coldness of his absence; you don't even hear the door close, but you know he is gone.

. . .

December 24th. Christmas Eve of 2017.

You realize from the look of him that Satoru did not come to you without a reason. There is always a reason, only this time it is different: he is standing in the doorway and his eyes seem lost on the details of your room rather than on you. He cannot look you in the face, how could he?

Your ears start ringing as he speaks, his words becoming muffled. Your legs become extremely mushy and your knees give out — you try to hold on to something that is not there, while a hand clutches at the height of your heart.

The thread entangling your heart coming loose. Somewhere, in another world, Suguru Geto smiles.

©fshigur0

[flowerish-cherry-blue]

book review: five feet apart by rachael lippincott | 2018

summary:

can you love someone you can never touch?

stella grant likes to be in control—even though her totally out of control lungs have sent her in and out of the hospital most of her life. at this point, what stella needs to control most is keeping herself away from anyone or anything that might pass along an infection and jeopardize the possibility of a lung transplant. six feet apart. no exceptions.

the only thing will newman wants to be in control of is getting out of this hospital. he couldn’t care less about his treatments, or a fancy new clinical drug trial. soon, he’ll turn eighteen and then he’ll be able to unplug all these machines and actually go see the world, not just its hospitals.

will’s exactly what stella needs to stay away from. if he so much as breathes on stella she could lose her spot on the transplant list. either one of them could die. the only way to stay alive is to stay apart. but suddenly six feet doesn’t feel like safety. it feels like punishment.

what if they could steal back just a little bit of the space their broken lungs have stolen from them? would five feet apart really be so dangerous if it stops their hearts from breaking too?

my opinion:

to begin with, i have a history of getting to know this book. of course, i heard about its existence only after watching the movie. but my hands came to her almost 5 years later, and how many times i stopped by its shelf in stores… it's hard to count.

so here it is! as for the book itself, i was satisfied, i will immediately note a kind of happy ending, which i lacked in the movie and the emotions that i felt myself.

although i won't gloss over the mediocrity of the plot, in terms of the exhaustion of such a theme, the love between ill people, i saw such a thing and later i will tell you. at the same time, none of the characters did not cause me irritation, i empathized with all of them and honestly, with pleasure, watched the development of the book from both sides of will and stella.

the language is lame in places from time to time, and i'm not sure if this was the author's first work, but practice makes perfect, ya know?

now, let's have a look at the next few points:

• as i mentioned above, the book reminds me of something and that is the fault in our stars by john green, and no, i'm not trying to compare them, but these books have a similar underlying theme of doomed love. that why i think i liked five feet apart more, again due to the fact that the beloved characters are alive by the end.

• the book made me cry and that's fine, i understood very well the situation described in the book because i have experienced somethimg like in my live and those feelings and things still terrefy me.

• i think the author went a little overboard when she made stella such a control freak, yes i understand what it was about, but still. control yourself, but not everyone around you, sweetheart.

• i also want to say a word about the parents in this book, i mean we are shown two models of family and they are not the happiest - a single mom and a divorced couple that broke up because of tragedy. honestly, i am very happy with the attitude of the parents towards their children, even though they were the very templates of their types.

• poe's death shocked me, it was not so easy to bear, as stella herself thought that death just follows her around and takes away her beloved ones. in some ways it was comparable to augustus' death in the fault in our stars.

• as i noted earlier, in some places the writing was a bit tempestuous in terms of descriptions, but i haven't encountered this very often and i'm glad i didn't.

so, i want to say that I really enjoyed this book, i think that all the time i waited to read it was worth it. and it brought me some relief because i cried and was able to let my emotions out

my rating:

4/5

«If i’m going to die, i'd like to actually live first.»

«don’t think about what you’ve lost. think of how much you have to gain. live, stella.»

[wakasa-wifey]

Cause time wasn't in our favour.

cw: canon character death, Tenjiku vs Toman arc, 'Nova' being used as nickname, lots and lots of grammatical error bcs I hate grammar, not proofread, angst, it's just pain i swear but i'll compensate with fluff memories before giving back angst.

Kurokawa Izana x f!reader

Writer's note: Please blame it on my sleep deprived brain it got addicted to the song and STILL haven't stop listening to it even after this songfic got posted. I listened to the song, cried a lot, then my brain went poof "What about Izana?" and I cried again but my brain got flooded with scenes I NEED to write down. I am sorry for the mental damage I might cause. Please listen to the song while reading this!

Tagging my Izana simping partner here @noekoi and also my Kiki pie @p-antomime bcs I want them both to know they inspired me to write a lot, for being the cool authors I aspire to be some day, and ofc, for being the firsts to see the fics as it is. I love you guys.

"𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴"

Bile rose in your throat once your heard the gun shots, praying to whatever God above for it to not be what you think it is.

But you saw his red clad body dropped onto the ground, confirming your worst fear.

"IZANA!" you shouted, running to your lover.

The commotion behind you faded into background noise when your focus zeroed to the boy in front of you, the boy who stole your heart and devotion.

"Nova. I'm sorry. My body just moved on its own." you just shooked your head, tears streaming down your face as Izana tried to explain. "No. Everything's alright. I- I'll call the ambulance right now! You'll be fine 'zana. You're going to be fine." you supplied, trying to convince yourself more than the other. Hands shaking trying to get a grip on your phone but it slipped out of your hands causing you to curse as you tried to get it back and dial the emergency number.

Quivering hand grasped your own.

"Hey Nova." you hummed to him not trusting your voice. "The moon is beautiful right?" Izana asked, smile on his face- fuck that goddamn smile of his, one that he would never ever showed anyone else.

"Y- yes, I wish I could watch it with you for good." you choked out a response, with sobs leaving your mouth. The hand that was holding yours dropped, along with the beat of its owner's heart, stilling into the silence. And you, barely hearing "I'm coming too Izana.", from Kakucho, sat still as realisation that he's gone, him the love of your life is gone for good trying to crawl itself into your brain. You came to your senses once you felt hands all over your body, urging you to stand up and leave the place as sirens filled the area.

"NO LEAVE ME ALONE! HE'S NOT DEAD! HE'S JUST SLEEPING! LET GO OF ME, MANJIRO!"

"𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘳"

The funeral passed by like fever dream. Toman members came by despite the fact that the funeral was one of their enemy's, murmuring condolences and back pats to you.

"Y/N, I know this might not be the right timing but please know that although we never talk much, you can come to me. Please do not hide yourself away." the owner of the voice, the boy Izana Kurokawa hated the most, snapped you out of your trance.

You didn't reply, only lifting your head up and meet Manjiro Sano's gaze, causing him to flinch at the empty look inside your eyes before casting your gaze back at the black frame in front you, the picture inside it, snow haired boy with wisteria coloured eyes taunting you with the his smile, frozen in time.

"The world is cruel" Izana once told you. You never get what he was implying but now you do.

"The world is cruel, but in this cruel world it I FOUND YOU, my light and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦, 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦."

Dating Izana was never an easy task. He was so used to deep dark isolation and in his muddled mind, he could never make sense on to why you stick with him. On top of that, your safety always had been his top concern, the running doubts inside his mind if he's the best for you.

He never understands you, who's a sucker for romance, unrealistic happy endings, would always stick with him, the tyrant king of Yokohama. But he knows that you understands him, as much as he's perturbed by the fact. He knows that you understands how much he's scared to be abandoned again, he knows you will always welcomed him back with open arms, your understanding of his hesitations on relationships were the ones that made him depend on you, because you will never leave him, you promised.

"Why are we watching Disney princess movie again?" Izana sighed exaggeratingly throwing his hands up in the air. "They have the best romance!" you argued back. "Yeah but it's always ended happy ending. It's not like real life would be that way." Izana groaned. "BUT STILL!! It's a royal love story for you my king and even if it's all end in happy ending, it taught us 'bout love and how kingdom works! You should know that by now Izana."

"A kingdom isn't ruled by one, BUT TWO people."

"𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘐'𝘮 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘖𝘒 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳, 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴"

Fights with him were always the worse. It will end with him disappearing for days, convinced you're just going to abandon him like everyone does at the end.

You proved him wrong every single damn time.

Your patience with him always caught him off guard. You showed him the love he never thought he'll ever experienced, gave him the home he can find shelter in.

In you, he learned what was unconditional love was all about.

"Y/N, can I talk to you for a second?" Kakucho said, gaining your attention. You faced him to show that he had your full attention. "How did you do it?" you blinked, not understanding the question. "What Kakucho trying to said is that, how did you stay with Izana still? If I were you, I would had given up trying to understand him.", Ran, who was beside Kakucho the whole time explained what Kakucho's question was.

The other executives trying to hide the fact that they're listening in but you can see their ears perking up. You chuckled at them before giving them the answer. "I actually find it funny that people always thought 'unconditional love' means unconditional tolerance towards your partner. Izana, as much as he would always disappear after our fights, I know he would come back. I might not immediately search for him, he needed the space, I'm giving him the space and boundaries he needed, as much as he think he didn't need it."

Unknown to you, Izana was right at the door behind you, listening in and signaling his executives to not mention his appearance. "Izana and I talked 'bout unconditional love before. You can love someone to the moon and back but still have boundaries. That's what I taught Izana."

"Boundaries DON'T DIMINISH the amount of love you have in your heart."

"𝘊𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘯? 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦?"

The smell of him dominates the apartment you both shared as a home. Everywhere you glance, you see him. His untouched clothes in the wardrobe. Everything reminds you of him. The black sky filled with stars at night taunted you as the memories of both of your nightly sky watching on top of the apartment roof flooded back into your brain.

"Nova." you, who was laying down on Izana's lap, looked up to him, confusion and questions swirling inside in your eyes at the foreign name that came out of his mouth. "I'm gonna call you Nova as your nickname." Izana added. "Oh? Why is that?" you asked him curiously, sitting up and your eyes met as you can see the affection that ran deeply for you shone in his eyes.

He chucked and raised a hand to your face, tucking your loose strands of hair back behind your ear. "Nova means new star that came suddenly, exploding and influence the other. In a way, it reminds me of you. You came in barging into my life, shining like a star."

"Unlike the stars that died out quickly, you remained and SHOW ME THE LIGHT I've never seen before."

"𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘐 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦."

The whisper on the streets of the fallen king. The pity glances. The story of a tyrant king. They don't know Izana like you do. They didn't see your late night dancing with him. They never hear his naggings of your unruly sleeping schedule. They would never see how both of you laughing and helping each other cooking in the kitchen.

"Shit!" you cursed as you accidentally sliced your finger by accident. "Nova? Love, what happened?", Izana who was taking a shower immediately rushed into the kitchen once he heard you cursed, bad scenarios running through his head. You, who was running your bloody finger through the water, spun around to look at Izana. "The knife slipped out of my grip." you supplied, still hissing from the sting.

"Awww, poor baby, come give me your finger." Izana teased as he took your finger in his palm to take a look at it before plopping it inside his mouth. "I-Izana!" you stuttered at his action before trying to push him away. Doing so, you just realised how he's only wearing a towel with water still dripping from his hair, fresh out of bath.

"Don't move love, I'm trying to help you right now. I'm taking the emergency box don't move." Izana chuckled before moving away and going to the living room where said emergency box is located. "Oh, did I mention your nose is bleeding too?" blood rushed towards your face as you immediately put your finger underneath your nose, hearing Izana's roaring laughter.

"What kind of King am I to let HIS QUEEN got hurt?"

"𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 '𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦', 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺 '𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳'"

Placing the white baby's breaths on his grave, you whispered "Even if it takes ten years, this isn't "goodbye", this is simply "see you later".

©copyright 2022 by Sei. If you steal this work istg i will haunt you down to the end of the earth. You are not allowed to repost this on any platforms.

[wh6res]

three's a crowd | nomin

synopsis. picking favorites is impossible when you like neither of them.

warning. read at your own risk. abuse, bullying, poly relationship, yandere themes, manipulation, nonconsensual touching, noncon, degradation, smut threesome oop

disclaimer. i do not condone whatever tf i wrote in this nor does it reflect my beliefs or values or morals and such. it is all pure fiction and i also dont think jaemin or jeno would act like this in real life.

note. this was meant to be a new year's gift lmao i obviously got a lil carried away 👀 anyway a late happy new year to you all! we survived 2020, let's start living in 2021, yeah? lmao if covid lets us grr mwah!

the relationship you had with the two of them was a weird one, bordering on taboo, but it wasn't as if you willfully chose to be who they wanted you to be and it took jaemin's unwanted pining and jeno's intimidating demeanor for you to fall right into their arms.

it was a joint effort on their part, you couldn't've possibly stood a chance.

"this many?" the cashier asked. "are you sure?"

stepping back and studying the whole situation, you figured you only had your addiction to caffeine and procrastination to blame. it was a chain reaction you didn't even know will lead up to your inevitable doom.

if you hadn't been slacking off during your first semester of junior year college, you wouldn't be forced to overwork yourself trying to catch up to the looming deadlines, but to be able to 'work yourself to the bone' you need your boost of energy… and that was when you met one of them.

"uhm," you scratch the back of your head sheepishly as you eye the six glass bottles of iced coffee. sure, it looks bad and you kinda appreciate the look of concern the cashier throws your way but it was none of his business.

"yes. now could you, like, you know… hurry up? i'm in a little bit of a time crunch right now."

screw it. although you hardly snap like that with other people on a daily basis, it'll be a whole different conversation if you were under a significant amount of stress and today, unfortunately, is one of those days.

now can he just fucking stop asking questions and give you your six bottles of death drink to keep your fucking brain going so you can pass an eight-page essay tomorrow? thank you very much!

the guy snickered, the beeping sound of a barcode being read sounding a thousand times more annoying than it usually sounds as he keeps his hand busy by punching your items out.

you fail to notice how he studies you through the gaps of his lashes, finding you interesting rather than threatening as you stood before him with your messy hair and oversized hoodie.

"haven't seen you around university grounds 'till today," he tries striking another conversation with you. "you new? i'm jaemin."

this was your first mistake, you shouldn't have been so… downright rude when you met him. if you were granted the miracle of meeting him a 2nd time, you would've acted more nice, throwing yourself at his feet even to blend in with the rest of his fangirls you didn't even know about at the time. you would've done anything to make sure he never gives you a second glance, to never pique his interest.

jaemin is the pep squad captain. flying over colored blue mats and doing tumblings in the air with no ounce of fear. he was the best in his team, that much was evident when your friend dragged you into watching a pep rally practice. his landings were clean, balanced, and executed to the best he can at all times.

no wonder he was popular, his talent is outstanding and his looks are a bonus. his killer combo of a smile and wink after pulling off a tough flip is enough to send them squealing in their seats.

he spotted you that day and since then, he snuck the quickest glances at the bench during practices. recognizing you as the coffee girl he met during his convenience store shift. jaemin tries not to let his disappointment show too much when he doesn't see you, but of course, a pair of cold calculating eyes could see right through him.

"i saw that," his boyfriend said, hand darting forward to hold jaemin's gym bag for him. "you kept looking at the crowd. do you want to see her that much?"

"but she reminds me so much of you, jeno!" he retorts, pouting at the slight grumpy tone the other boy used. "i can't help it. she doesn't seem to give a fuck around me so she's quite interesting. maybe she can even be a great addition to our relationship!"

"well," jeno replies after a beat of silence, plastering a small smirk on his face before slinging an arm around jaemin's shoulder.

"convince me?"

you don't like jaemin's attention. not in the slightest. and it seems that was enough reason for the reign of terror his little fanclub has subjected you too.

it wasn't the petty elementary forms of bullying like pulling at your hair or calling you names. they pale in comparison to the other things they do to you—beating you up, messing with your homework, "accidentally" dumping their food trays on you.

and you weren't stupid.

you knew exactly who was behind it, knew how jaemin spectates the whole thing from afar so that he can swoop in at the end to play your knight in shining armor.

"oh, you poor thing. do you need help?"

the first time you accepted his "help" you ended up in a supply closet near the gym during your free period, cornered and weak as your cries for help drowns under the squeaking of shoes and the booming sounds of rubber balls hitting the floor.

if it weren't for jeno appearing out of thin air and prying the boy off of you, you would've been painted blue and red from the death grip he had on your wrist, neck, and waist.

you can still remember feeling the soreness of your scalp from when he pulled your hair too hard. remembered feeling his teeth gnawing at your lips as if he wanted to tear them off.

that time hadn't been the first time you saw jeno. you've shared a few classes with him and it strikes you how polar opposites they are with one another.

while jaemin likes to bask in his professor and classmates' recognition by confidently reciting his answers, jeno would rather keep to himself. liked sitting at the last row, near the window, so he'd be the first to go once the professor ends their lecture. while jaemin loved the attention of his fangirls, jeno preferred solitude. while jaemin is impulsive and wild, jeno liked to think things through.

it was within these reasons that you decided to do what you did. but your judgement of character has never been more wrong.

you approached jeno one day in the library, tried to make yourself appear as stoic and confident as possible. but your constant slouching and averting eyes was a dead giveaway.

you came to talk to him about what jaemin has been doing, hoping there's one person left in this entire school that isn't under the cheer captain's trance. the one reasonable person that has already saved you once and (hopefully) is willing enough to save you again. the only one that probably has a certain level of control over jaemin, if the supply closet incident is anything to go by.

but you've overestimated lee jeno.

"you should've just given jaemin what he wanted."

"but—but aren't you two lovers? isn't it bothering you?"

you try baiting him, only for an uncomfortable shiver to start crawling down your spine when he chuckled humorlessly, pushing his school materials to the side while pinning you with an unreadable stare.

how can a person make someone feel so small just by a gaze alone? it was nothing like you've felt with jaemin. this is way worse.

"the only thing that's bothering me is why you're not ours yet."

you feel cold fingers creeping their way under your shirt, going higher and higher until it brushes against your bra. and when your eyes meet, the look on his face was unmistakable—what are you going to do about it, huh?

you stood up in lightning speed, the chair you've been sitting on scraping loudly against the floor.

you've never ran out as fast as you did.

and jeno swears it'll be the last.

you tried everything in your power to ignore them for the next following weeks but it soon became useless when the two boys took it upon themselves to give you your space.

although judging by the pinpricks you feel on your back, and the constant weight of a stare you feel on your shoulders, you knew they weren't done with you yet. far from it. and for some reason, you just knew they wanted to lull you into a false sense of security first before striking again.

and while they continued to ogle at you from afar like a hawk circling its prey in a desert, you took it upon yourself to return the favor. not because you were the slightest bit interested in those creeps but maybe, just maybe, if you look hard enough you'll find a way out, a weakness.

but what you realized made your insides churn in great discomfort—although it may seem that jeno holds the reins in the relationship since his reserved nature fits the role, it's actually the other way around.

jaemin might appear too self-centered, too focused on himself to give a fuck about his surroundings but in actuality, he has quite a knack for reading people. even more so than jeno. and it was scary how he used it to his advantage, and paired up with his devoted fangirls? it was hell on earth.

you found it alarming how the two seem to magically appear wherever you are.

although you weren't in the least bit surprised. for some reason, you can't take your eyes away when jaemin's devotees flock around him (and jeno) in a circle.

it almost reminds you of a shoal of piranhas, waiting for their meal to drop into the water before ripping it to shreds with their teeth. only their "meal" isn't actual flesh but the carefully crafted words jaemin says that drive them into a sick frenzy.

one that has them doing everything in their power to satisfy him like the loyal dogs they are.

so this was how he got them to bully you?

"oh, that? don't worry! yangyang just ran into me during cheer rehearsal. no biggie. my cheek stung a little bit, though…" is what he said but really he's telling them "scruff him up a bit for me, why don't ya?"

"of course, i can't be the best all the time. haechan is just too good, maybe even better than me…" is what he said but really he's telling them "can you remind him where his place should be?"

all the while jeno did nothing to hold him back.

no matter how wrong jaemin is, how much of an asshole he is, jeno will stick by his side through and through. so as much as jaemin is a puppeteer that gets a kick for controlling people, jeno is as much at fault for looking the other way.

because in jeno's perspective, why the fuck would he do shit when he can just get off from the entertainment that comes with jaemin's sweet little mind games?

we lost :(

you had been busy sorting through paperwork for one of your professors in the faculty when your friend texted you the results of the intercollegiate cheer dance competition. a frown paints your face, heart feeling heavy at the bad news.

in all honesty, you still supported the pep squad—you just hated the captain and his boyfriend. they've been practicing non-stop for this and prior to the weeks of the competition, jeno looked a lot more tense and jaemin less smiley than usual. you swore you even saw the latter snap at one of his fangirls.

not to mention, they paid less attention to you, too, and it was the best three weeks of your life.

tension starts rising in your shoulders, fingers absentmindedly running through the edge of the papers you had been sorting until you became immersed with your thoughts.

jaemin must be in the worst mood yet.

and jeno too, probably. if anything, that guy gets triggered the most when something bad happens to jaemin or when he catches snippets of people talking shit about his oh so "perfect" boyfriend.

jeno is a lot scarier when jaemin is in one of his mood swings, you noticed. he steps up in the relationship to offer comfort to the other boy and for outsiders? it isn't a great experience to go through—being on the receiving end of jeno's ice cold stare is a position you don't want to find yourself in after that time in the library.

he is still as much a threat to your peaceful life like his lover.

you snap out of it when the blinding headlights of a vehicle seep through the closed blinds. you hear the gentle hum of an engine switching off as the headlights vanished as quick as they had appeared. that must be the cheer squad's bus.

as you look around the empty faculty room, something in your gut tells you to ditch file sorting duty for professor kim tonight and fucking get the hell out of campus grounds as quick as you can.

after haphazardly throwing the unsorted papers back into the cabinet, you groan aloud when the keys to the office drop out of your skirt’s pocket.

the indoor gym where the cheering squad practices is right across the hallway. you sure as hell don't want to bump into jaemin. or jeno, too, if he had decided to ride along the cheer squad's bus on the way home.

you kept looking for the keys underneath the cubicles, cursing aloud when you heard the telltale squeaks of shoes rubbing against linoleum. you almost hit your head against a table when you quickly got back up your feet, darting forward to shut the lights for the faculty room.

they can't know you're here. alone. and if it meant sitting in the dark for a few hours 'till they leave, meant going back home a little later than usual is what you have to do then so be it.

you try not to react so violently when the door you're leaning on jolts when someone from outside slams their back against it.

"it's not like we didn't do our best, right guys? i don't have regrets. it might sound fucking cheesy and although i'm sad myself, atleast we did what we can."

it's jaemin. his voice clear as day.

you try peaking, craning your neck up from your place on the floor. only to see the back of his head leaning against the glass section of the door. someone else joins in on the conversation, followed by coach park himself, and you slowly tune out whatever they're saying as you stealthily start scanning the faculty room.

you curse under your breath. is there no other exit other than this door? jesus christ! even classrooms in this university had two doors—

"what are you doing here?"

the switch flickers on, basking the once dark room with light. only when you hear an echo of your name being called, did you snap out of it and quickly picked yourself up from the floor.

"i said, what are you doing here?"

their coach asks, drilling the question as he looks at you skeptically with his arms crossed. you try not to look at the people behind him.

particularly, not at his cheer captain standing on his right.

particularly, not at jeno, who stands out like a sore thumb with his blue hair, a protective arm snaked around jaemin’s shoulders.

this isn't your lucky day, too, you guess.

"i was…" you cursed yourself for stuttering. "i was, uhm, i was file sorting for prof—professor kim, sir."

coach park looked like he didn't believe you as he narrowed his eyes in scrutiny. your nerves are going haywire and you can feel the sharp pins of their stare with how close they are.

you kept juggling your weight with the balls of your feet, hands fisting and unfisting behind your back. you want to leave. you have to leave.

"file sorting… in the dark?" he asked incredulously.

fuck this.

"uhm, you can ask professor kim himself tomorrow, coach. for now, uh, i'll be going now. i'm sorry you guys lost…"

originally, the exit is on the right side, at the end of the hallway. but no, you are not going to pass by those two while on your way out so you ducked behind a random student standing on the coach's left instead and practically ran away from the scene.

everyone had been too busy. too busy looking at your retreating form to even notice jaemin and jeno exchanging glances, too busy to notice the latter untangling himself from their captain to slip away unnoticed, his hurried steps filled with a burning purpose.

you didn't know why you ran, but you did. your shoes practically booming against the floor as you sped away through darkened hallways. you're sweating profusely, heart hammering in your chest. you can worry about professor kim tomorrow but right now you just had to—

"why are you in such a rush, pet?"

crashing into jeno felt like crashing into a wall. if it hadn't been for his arm quickly wrapping around your waist, then you would've landed on your butt before him.

with the small distance between the two of you, jeno could see as clear as day through your eyes.

jaemin was right.

it was addicting to stare into them.

especially when he can see every single one of your thoughts flying through your pretty little head. but hey, it wasn't their fault you were so easy to read.

jeno barely conceals the wicked smirk on his lips when your hands come up to his chest, trying to push him away but to no avail.

he can see your eyes shifting from shock, to confusion, until it finally settles on fear—to which it's slowly becoming a favorite emotion of his to see on your face.

"you know, jaemin is in a really shitty mood right now. and we were wondering, maybe you can cheer us up?"

no. this can't be happening.

"jeno, please." your dilated eyes and disheveled hair made his blood run south. "let me go. you don't want me. you don't need a third party in your relationship."

you yelp when he lets you go, literally shoving you against a wall—which you found out is actually a door, as it swings open as soon as your body crashes against it.

with jeno looming unforgivingly before you in his full height, the tears stung extra hard but you won't let them fall.

if he wanted to bask in the image of your weakness then it'll be something you'll deprive from him for as long as you can.

"i don't need a stupid bitch like you to tell me what i feel." he scoffs. "don't fucking kid yourself, you little whore—i don't want you. i'm not jaemin."

the echo of the classroom door shutting closed surged through you like a wake up call.

this is really happening.

you've always led a decent life, had done nothing too questionable and you've always thought maybe life will spare you if you lived quietly enough. but the feel of jeno's freezing hands crawling against your skin felt like life itself had spat at you in the eye and left you to rot in a ditch.

"i've always liked how you wore skirts," he comments. playing with the ruffled hem of the soft fabric as he purposely grazed his knuckles against your supple thighs. "gives me easy access, don't you agree?"

you scream when he flips your skirt up to reveal the innocent pink of your cotton panties. it was as if a switch had flipped inside of you and the will to fight started coursing through your veins.

"stop! jeno! i don't want this!"

his brows furrow, grunting as he struggles to push the waistline of your skirt up higher with how much you're thrashing underneath him. you buck your hips, tried curling in on yourself, anything to prolong what he wants to do to you.

with your legs trapped underneath his, you blindly reach forward, relying on your upper body instead to push and scratch whatever your palms and nails reached.

you continue screaming like a banshee until he shoved two fingers into your wet cavern.

"stop fighting me," he sounded strained, as if he's holding himself back. you feel him fisting the fabric of your skirt and you fear he's simply going to rip it apart.

you tried responding to him, only the sound had been muffled, gurgled by the flat of his fingers pushing down against your tongue mercilessly. when you reach forward to push him away, your hands land on the apple of his cheeks, nails digging through skin.

until it slips and—

you lie rigid when red scratch marks in the size of your fingernails slowly appear on jeno's skin, his head turned to the side as he paused. your actions slowly start sinking in to him as he shuts his eyes and bit his lip 'till it looked like it was about to bleed.

oh no.

"jeno—"

the slap he planted on your cheek left your ears ringing. all those hard earned muscles of his put to good use—if the tears hadn't fallen for the last few minutes, then it definitely started falling now.

the hit had been so strong, a few of your hair flew astray, the buzzing feeling of your skin tempting you to reach a hand up to soothe your abused cheek.

until jeno let out a low growl and your hand immediately drops limp against your body, afraid of whatever else he can do to you other than a slap.

"that's more like it," he whispers under his breath. you let out the tiniest of whimpers when his hand darts forward to fist your hair. "do you know what happens to bad girls? they fucking get busted up. do you understand me?"

his patience is nonexistent.

jeno slams your head against the floor when you don't answer because you thought his question had been rhetorical. it felt like your skull had been split in two as you wail in pain.

"are you fucking deaf—i asked you a fucking question!"

the hand that cups your jaw is painful as he squeezed your cheek with his blunt nails. your hand shoots up to wrap around his wrist, silently pleading for him to let up as you sobbed out loud. you started nodding as best as you can despite his firm grip on your face.

your reply was nothing short of pathetic. with lips forcefully pursed and the steady stream of your tears and snot rolling down your face, your response is gargled and hardly incoherent and jeno seemed to thoroughly enjoy your anguish if the condescending curl on his lips is anything to go by.

"look at you," he whispers, his face coming close to yours as he holds you down. there was something in the way jeno stared so intently that it made your skin crawl.

"i think you're prettiest when ruined like this."

with his nose touching yours, he felt too close, bordering on intimate as you felt his hand creep back up your thighs, trailing up with feather-like touches that made goosebumps appear on your skin.

you tried wiggling your legs underneath him but one sharp look from jeno is enough to make you stop.

the hand holding your face moves. coming down from gripping your face to encircling his hand around your neck.

"do you like it when i touch you? freaky bitch."

his hands trail further up, up, up until you felt him slotting a finger underneath your panties.

jeno didn't like how frozen you were underneath him as he pulls at the hem before letting go. the elastic snapping back against your skin.

the action evokes a strong feeling through the young male, promising to have you writhing and screaming and begging because by the end of all this, you'll be so needy and frustrated that you will have no choice but to give in to what your body wanted.

"jeno, didn't i tell you to play nice?"

someone stands by the door, the minimal light from the hallway creating a silhouette with his form but you knew who he was. that deep voice, with the same annoying flippant tone, is a dead giveaway.

you didn't know why you even hoped in the beginning. as if there'll be someone who can save you from these two.

you thought the flash of hurt in your eyes was quick to disappear but jeno noticed it quicker.

in a span of seconds, he pulled you up from your position from the ground and tugged you towards his lap. you haven't even gotten the time to settle on your new position when he already smashed his lips against yours.

it was messy. too much saliva. too much teeth. no tenderness to it at all.

the fabric of his jeans felt rough, not to mention the ice cold belt buckle made you severely uncomfortable as it seeps through the thin fabric of your skirt.

when you attempt to hover over his lap, jeno grunts as he snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you back down without your lips breaking away from each other. you didn't know why he let out a whine, but you understood the moment you fully sat down on his lap and you felt a tent on his jeans hitting your clothed entrance perfectly.

in a normal circumstance, you would've found everything hot and might've actually gotten off from it but not when it's him who’s doing this to you and you didn’t consent to any of this.

you start squirming again. palms lying flat against jeno's chest as you attempt to push him away and jaemin sees this as the opportune moment to slot himself behind you, caging you in between them.

“i want my turn,” he hisses and without an ounce of hesitation, jeno stops to do what he's told.

jaemin doesn't waste any second to grab your face, awkwardly craning your neck up to meet his lips in the same feverish kiss.

while jeno had been all teeth and aggression, practically forcing you to open your mouth and kiss him back, jaemin on the other hand is more soft, more romantic, you daresay. he seemed to like taking his sweet time by clutching your face, kissing you like he actually meant it.

he pulls away slightly, resting his forehead against yours as he murmurs something incoherent under his breath and then he's kissing you again.

you think you heard something along the lines of, "finally."

you've been too distracted by jaemin to notice jeno's nimble fingers quickly fumbling with the buttons of your blouse. it was only when you feel the sensation of his tongue laving against the swell of your breast did you turn away from jaemin, jerking backward in surprise.

"no—!"

your scream is cut off by a hand cupping your mouth. jaemin pulls your back towards his chest, molding your body against his as jeno licked and suckled all he wanted, thankful to have the other boy there to not worry about restraining you and keeping you quiet while he has his fun.

"ah, ah, ah," jaemin teases, going hard over the pleading and teary look you sent his way. it looked pathetic, he wasn't going to lie, but it doesn't mean he didn't love it. "just keep still and appreciate jeno's efforts to take care of you, alright baby?"

you don't like how he talked as if this was all a mutual thing, how he talked slowly like you were some toddler who didn't understand anything.

it's cruel how jaemin giggled and basked in your vulnerable state as he kept his eyes pinned on you while undoing the zipper of your skirt. your muffled cries of his name only serving to egg him on.

the way he stared was similar to jeno, too intently and intrusive, like he wants to burn your image of despair in the back of his head.

you whined involuntarily when jeno got bored of all the licking and thus decided to start biting and nipping at your chest instead. he was hypnotised by how responsive you were, how every little bite and nibble made you shudder.

it was a shame that jaemin had to cover your mouth. he didn't get to hear your pretty mewls but it wasn't as if he'd let the night end without hearing them loud and clear.

jaemin is fast in undressing you, feeling slightly betrayed by how quick your skirt and blouse fell under his hands.

you know what he wants, what he's going to do, and the tears fall harder when you can't dodge away from him. forced to endure and accept whatever they give you.

"you act like you don't like it but look how fucking wet you are," you bit your lip hard when jaemin starts circling the pads of his fingers against your clit, fascinated by how more juices streamed down your thighs.

"jeno, do you see this? fuck."

you can only blink in defeat, staring off to the side as you force down any noise bubbling up your throat, forcing yourself to think of anything else other than what's happening right now.

you try not to think about how they managed to tear all of your clothes off while they're left completely dressed. tried not to think about the fingers lazily drawing up and down your slit to collect your essence.

if they're doing this as a way to further humiliate you, it's working.

"slut," jeno mocked, a wicked curl on his lips when he wraps his fingers around your throat. the moment he dives down to claim your lips again is the same time jaemin pushes two fingers inside you.

"look at how wet you are because of me," jaemin whispers hot against your ear and you feel a sick churn in your stomach when you feel his smile against your skin.

he purposely drives his fingers in and out quicker, settjng a brutal pace, wanting you to hear the lewd squelching sounds. "hear that? do you hear that, darling? that's because of me—"

"don't go talking big now, jaem," jeno retorts, pulling away from your lips to start nibbling on the back of your ear. "i was here first. did you see how she fucking reacted when i sucked on her tits?"

you're quick to catch how jeno particularly loved degrading you. but how he talks about you as if you're literally not in front of him naked made you hit a new all-time low.

you felt… filthy.

his hands find purchase on your butt—only because jaemin has already claimed the front. for now.

you close your eyes tight when he painfully squeezes the flesh of your ass. you swear, his blunt nails will paint your skin black and blue.

"i'm the favorite!"

"i'm the favorite!"

as someone who's part of a varsity team, you already knew a competitive nature runs through jaemin's veins. but never had you thought jeno would share the same sentiment. once again they prove that they're cut from the same cloth.

all of a sudden it wasn't all about claiming you as theirs anymore rather it was all about who can make you moan the loudest, who can make you cum the most, who can make you feel the dirtiest you can be.

you're absolutely terrified for the hours to come.

thankfully, they have yet to ask for your verbal opinion or validation. they let your body do all the talking—every repressed shudder and sharp gasp is enough.

but it's game over once they pop the million dollar question.

"who do you like best?"

you don't want to find out the consequences if you actually answered their question because you didn't know what could be worse.

jaemin's manipulation or jeno's aggression?

but it was all normal. trial and error is inevitable in order to build and mold you into the ideal lover for the both of them.

because adding someone new to the mix has never been easy—after all, three's a crowd.

[asexual-society]

i saw your podcast reblog and wanted to ask for recommendations for podcasts with good ace rep?

specifically ones that aren’t graphic/horror, and really don’t deal with heavy themes in general. (fantasy + sci fi are preferred!)

(and any with gray ace rep if you can)

ty :3

Okay, so I'm going to list some podcasts I have personally listened to, some are horror-ish, but I felt like I had to mention, others aren't, because I like to talk about things I'm interested in and if I say *that's my opinion* enough times maybe people won't come for me, and I couldn't in good conscience recommend you a podcast I hate without telling you I hate it first. Speaking of!

The Penumbra Podcast is a favourite of many. Not me though. There is at least one aroace character that I know of in each of the storylines, but I couldn't get more than 6 episodes in because this podcast has kissing noises and lots of them. I couldn't tell you how prevalent the ace characters are because of this, although it is an otherwise very queer podcast, and as far as I'm aware it isn't graphic and is not a horror podcast, but someone can correct me if I'm wrong on any count.

Ars Paradoxica is a sci fi podcast and the main character, Sally Grissom, accidentally travels back in time to cold war-era America, and is explicitly aroace, so this might be right up your alley. I didn't love this one, but it was very interesting, and if it had a comprehensive wiki for each episode I probably would have listened to more, I just struggled to follow it. Not sure if other people also had this issue or if it's just a me thing. Let me know!

I'd like to give an honourable mention to Hello From The Hallowoods, which is horror-ish, I personally wouldn't consider it to be particularly gory, although there are some dark themes and a few episodes get particularly heavy. There are a couple of named ace characters and one aro character, and otherwise some absolutely incredible queer rep of all stripes and I absolutely love it.

A current favourite of mine is the Sheridan Tapes, which follows detective Sam Bailey as he investigates the disappearance of horror author, Anna Sheridan. It's a bit of a spooky horror one so may not be your cup of tea, but I hope someone else might like it because the main character is explitly grey ace and mlm and it is without a doubt the best aspec rep I have ever encountered (the main character also reads as grey/demiro too). At times it's a bit silly and sometimes some of the characters can be a little annoying, but I cannot stress enough, the rep is so good. If you (general you) like the Magnus Archives (also cannot recommend highly enough, but definitely not what you're looking for, no exaggeration, I cried for a week when it finished), and would like to listen to a podcast that is just like that, except generally worse in almost every way (affectionate), then this is the podcast for you!

There's also a bi, demi ace character in the Rusty Quill Gaming podcast, but I can imagine you might not want to wait over 150 odd episodes to get to it. If you are however a fan of ttrpgs and actual play podcasts, this is a really good one, there's some death and heavy themes but also I have never laughed so hard in my life as I did for the 3 weeks it took me to catch up with this last year (and there's a QPR!).

Off the top of my head I can't think of any others with ace rep I've listened to - I've heard good things about Old Gods of Appalachia, Wooden Overcoats, the Bright Sessions and the Strange Case of Starship Iris, but haven't been able to get into them myself and couldn't tell you much about them. I did find this list though!

If any of our followers have other recs, or think I'm being too harsh on tpp, please comment/send an ask in :)

[mrsdoctordear]

How L. M. Montgomery portrays grief in the Anne of Green Gables books

Anne encounters and navigates grief several times throughout the AOGG series, from Matthew's death in the first book to two of her children’s deaths in the later ones. In each instance, L. M. Montgomery portrays grief very accurately and stays true to its many forms—from confusion to anger and a sense of betrayal, as well as disinterest and indifference to life without our loved ones.

Below are ten different points that Montgomery hits on in her explorations of grief.

1. A part of our old self dies with the person we loved.

"It was the last night before sorrow touched her life; and no life is ever quite the same again when once that cold, sanctifying touch has been laid upon it."

(Anne of Green Gables, Ch. 36)

2. We can hardly imagine life without our loved one, yet almost struggle to remember what our life was like with them in it.

"Half the time it seems to me that Matthew can't be dead; and the other half it seems as if he must have been dead for a long time and I've had this horrible dull ache ever since."

(Anne of Green Gables, Ch. 37)

3. We hate to think that we can be happy again, as if in surrending our grief, we also surrender part of our love for the person we've lost.

"It won't hurt so much always, Anne." "The thought that it may stop hurting sometimes hurts me worse than all else, Marilla."

(Anne’s House of Dreams, Ch. 19)

4. We grow angry with what we don't understand and scoff at the beliefs we formerly held.

"It was God's will, Anne," said Marilla, helpless before the riddle of the universe—the why of undeserved pain. "And little Joy is better off." "I can't believe that," cried Anne bitterly. Then, seeing that Marilla looked shocked, she added passionately, "Why should she be born at all—why should any one be born at all—if she's better off dead? I don't believe it is better for a child to die at birth than to live its life out—and love and be loved—and enjoy and suffer—and do its work—and develop a character that would give it a personality in eternity. And how do you know it was God's will? Perhaps it was just a thwarting of His purpose by the Power of Evil. We can't be expected to be resigned to that."

(Anne’s House of Dreams, Ch. 19)

5. We hate to be alone with ourselves, for it leaves us alone with the unwelcome company of our grief.

"Would you like company or would you rather be alone?" "If by company you mean yours I'd much rather have it than be alone," said Anne, smiling. Then she sighed. She had never before minded being alone. Now she dreaded it. When she was alone now she felt so dreadfully alone.

(Anne’s House of Dreams, Ch. 20)

6. We become disinterested in many of the things we once enjoyed.

In the mournful eventide Grief was closely at my side, Shrinking from her sullen woe Much I longed to see her go. Music lost its tender grace When I looked on her grim face, Flowers no more were sweet to me, Sunshine lost its witchery, Laughter hid itself in fear Of that Presence dour and drear, Little dreams in pale dismay Made all haste to steal away. Reft of what had made me glad, Grief alone was all I had

(The Blythes are Quoted, Part 2: The Fourth Evening, Grief)

7. To forget our grief for awhile is only to remember it keenly later on.

"Oh, I wish I could just keep on working all the time, Susan," cried poor Rilla. "And I wish I didn't have to go to sleep. It is hideous to go to sleep and forget it for a little while, and wake up and have it all rush over me anew the next morning. Do people ever get used to things like this, Susan?"

(Rilla of Ingleside, Ch. 23)

8. Just when we feel as though we couldn't live with grief any longer, we realize that we haven't any other choice—for as long as it is a resident in our lives, we must learn to acquaint ourselves with it and tolerate its existence.

"'I cannot bear it,' she said. And then came the awful thought that perhaps she could bear it and that there might be years of this hideous suffering before her."

(Rilla of Ingleside, Ch. 14)

9. Once life begins to return to normal, it becomes difficult for us to distinguish between moving on and moving forward.

"And then Avonlea settled back to its usual placidity and even at Green Gables affairs slipped into their old groove and work was done and duties fulfilled with regularity as before, although always with the aching sense of 'loss in all familiar things.' Anne, new to grief, thought it almost sad that it could be so—that they could go on in the old way without Matthew. [...] 'It seems like disloyalty to Matthew, somehow, to find pleasure in these things now that he has gone,' she said wistfully to Mrs. Allan one evening when they were together in the manse garden. [...] 'I am sure we should not shut our hearts against the healing influences that nature offers us. But I can understand your feeling. I think we all experience the same thing. We resent the thought that anything can please us when someone we love is no longer here to share the pleasure with us, and we almost feel as if we were unfaithful to our sorrow when we find our interest in life returning to us.'"

(Anne of Green Gables, Ch. 37)

10. But for as long as our loved ones are in our memory, they are in our lives.

“I've read somewhere that 'our dead are never dead until we have forgotten them.' Matthew will never be dead to me, for I can never forget him."

(Anne’s House of Dreams, Ch. 3)

[kuronanox]

New Years - Gin Ichimaru

"Happy New Years!" (Your Name) cheered popping out of the door as he came back from his captains duties.

Gin eyes opened a bit shockingly before it closed again as he pull her into a embrace. They've spent the last 5 New Years together and this one marked the 6th.

"How was work? You got back early! We should watch the fireworks." She suggested as he stretched a bit and leaned onto her a bit exhausted.

"Hmm watchin firework with ya seems fun." He says getting into a simple yukata she had bought him a few months ago.

Oh how Gin was lucky to snatch her into his life as she was falling apart. She had accepted his weirdness, although a lot of people were not fond of Gin and found him a odd fellow she thought different.

It was a small crush, he didn't think it would actually turn into something.

She was a shy girl that had transferred into his squad after resigning from the 4th.

(Your Name) quickly befriended Kira and slowly she gradually befriended her Captain.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks him as they walked with link arms to the hill.

"Yer first few years." He answers as she scoff and lightly hits him embarrassed.

As they reached the top other Shinigamis were already gathered with friends and significant others to watch the fireworks.

"Oh it's Rangiku!" (Your Name) says watching the busty women linked arms with no other than Shuhei Hisagi. At first the lady didn't want to give the poor man a chance but after his long efforts of pursuing she finally gave in and it was safe to say they have been happy ever since.

Of course (Your Name) knew of Gin and Rangiku past relationships but he has never gave her a reason to question anything.

Gin was of course happy for Rangiku she had deserved infinite happiest after the roughness of their childhood growing up.

They were both in a really healthy long term relationship.

"Seems like everyone is here tonight."

"It don't bother me much." Gin tells her as he laid his head on her lap as they gazed up into the stars before the showing.

When the fireworks started to show up everyone jumped and laughed around. It was a good time and they didn't have to think about any invasion or threatening enemies.

Gin never understood what was the big deal of New Years but every year since being with (Your Name) he enjoyed it.

At first he would just watch from his window at the barrack but being up on the hill with everyone else gave it a different meaning to him.

Watching the lights explode he looks up to (Your Name), she was smiling and enjoying herself. Looking into her eyes he could see the reflection of the sky as he softly smiles and pushes some hair out of her face.

"Hmm?" She says as he pulls her down slowly and gives her a New Years kiss.

"Happy New Year." He responses back as she laughs and then goes back to looking at the sky.

A soft knock on her door woke her out of a trace as she sees Rangiku appearing with a wide smile. "Hey! How have you been?"

"Good actually! I can't believe it's going to be New Years soon. Seems like yesterday I spent it with him."

Rangiku sadly smiles and sits across from (Your Name) grabbing her small fingers and holding it with her motherly one. "I know, I can't believe it's been 2 years without him. You haven't been back to the hill since then either. But why don't you go with me and a few of my friends! I promise it will be fun!"

"I don't know, it won't be the same but I do want to celebrate New Years and not be alone unlike the past 2 years." She laughs a bit.

"I'm providing drinks! Come on! I know Gin would want you to celebrate just as y'all use to do!" The older women pouted as (Your Name) nodded. She agreed to go because being alone was something she was afraid of going back to.

"Kira is coming too! You won't be alone."

Kira Izuru one of her closest friend and someone she shared a close bond to because they shared a lot of similarities when it came to their mental health. Kira was hurting as much as she was so it was the least she could do.

Both of them encouraging each other.

"I got you something small for New Years!" She cheered as they got back home.

He raised a eyebrow and followed her, she directed him to sit and close his eyes. He left open both his hands as she placed a small box into his hands.

Gin looks down to see it was neatly wrapped in red as he opens it to see some dried persimmons.

"Our tree died this winter and I know they are your favorite so I went to a store that specializes in candy to get them. It's not much but I hope it's okay?"

Gin was truly happy with this gift, to anyone it might seem meaningless but dried persimmons brought him back to his childhood and it was something he always craved.

"I love it." He answers setting it down and snaking his arms around her body as he smelt the fresh fragrance of lavender she was wearing.

Caressing his hair she kissed his head. She felt extremely lucky to have him by her side.

She dressed in a simple Kimono and walked to the hill, the firework showing was in another hour but Rangiku told her to get there early so they could drink before it.

Rangiku had many different types of sake and a bottle from the human world she made Ichigo get her for this special occasion.

"You made it!" She says hugging (Your Name) tightly rubbing her back knowing New Years was something special she spent with Gin every year.

"I'm excited! Looks like everyone is here too!"

"(Your Name)!" Shuhei says waving to her as he passed her a shot glass. "Kira!" He yells as (Your Name) turns around to see her lieutenant pull up with some bottles also.

"Kira and alcohol are meant to be."

"Everyone let's enjoy ourselves!" Rangiku cheers as they four took the first shots. After Ikkaku walked by pestering why he wasn't invited.

(Your Name) smiled and looked around, everyone was having fun and she was glad to have spent time with new friends. She was grateful for Rangiku also, they both lost someone precious they held in their heart.

"(Your Name) I'm glad you came we haven't been able to hang out!" Kira slurred his words hanging his arm around her already drunk.

She giggled a bit and held him up straight offering him some water.

"Me too Kira, I'm able to come back here now."

(Your Name) found Gin on deaths door lying on the rough concrete floor as she cried and picked his head up lightly and laid him on her thighs as he always did.

"Why did you do try to attack Aizen! Why didn't you tell everyone your intentions! Everyone will think you are a traitor!" She yells at him as the tears fell on his face.

Gin struggled to lift his arm as he held her face and smiled lightly saying "I was already a traitor when I left the most important thing behind."

(Your Name) struggled to breathe, this wasn't what she planned after not seeing him for so long.

Rangiku was by their side also in the same state as (Your Name) as she cried.

"I love you (Your Name)." He says before his arm went limp and he looked at Rangiku one last time before closing his eyes.

The two broken girls cried for him and for each other as they held each other hands.

"Are you okay?" Kira ask tilting his head as she spaced off and she smiled to him.

"I am now."

"Look look the fireworks are about to start!" Rangiku cheered as (Your Name) looked up amazed at the light show.

Every year it was a different show so it lifted everyone out of their feet wondering what they were going to see.

"Here's a sparkler!" Hisagi passed to her as it lit up and she smiled warmly. It was pretty, bright and dangerous.

Holding the sparkler up to the sky with everyone else they all cheered to the New Year brightly as they all kissed their loved ones.

"Come on (Your Name) we are close enough to give each other a hug!" Kira says even though she knew he was drunk the man lost just as much as her. His arm were open for her to embrace.

She gives him an warm embrace for the New Year until Rangiku yelled at them and joined into the group hug.

(Your Name) was overwhelmed with so many emotions as the two embraced her she wanted to cry tears of happiness but nothing came out. She was thankful this year she spent it with them because at the end of the day they all cared and loved each other.

"Happy New Year (Your Name)."

She hears a familiar voice softly says in her ears as she looks up into the sky. He was watching over her, protecting and encouraging her in spirit.

"Happy New Year Gin."

(Author note: wow this is my 20th chapter! I gotta say I'm proud of myself! Also who's your favorite girl character? Mine would be Rukia, Rangiku and Nel!)

[babylooneytoonz]

(A/N- Not my gif. Found this lovely one on Google and have no idea who it belongs to. Let me know if it's yours and I'll credit you.💕)

Warning(s) - ANGST, WAR & mentions of violence, character death.

Quick links- For those who haven't read the Prologue & Part 1, you will find all of them here.

Trip Mines & Broken Hearts [Tommy Shelby x Reader]

Part 2

It wasn't until weeks after that day you saw that blue eyed boy again.

It would have been a lie to say he didn't cross your mind once since then—

When you weren't treating casualties or you were curled in your bunker, your reading glasses plastered to your eyes and an old , tattered book that belonged to your elder brother rested against your thigh, you found yourself thinking of him, wondering if he was doing okay, if he was alive —

A part of you felt guilty— you should have thought of your brothers, prayed for their safety, prayed for the war to get over so you could all go back home, but you couldn't stop yourself from wondering if Thomas Shelby had made it so far, since the last time you saw him.

A few miles away, in a basement of an almost crumbling building, the soldiers of the 8th Service Battalion were trapped. The only exit was blocked by piles of rocks that had come crashing down when a trip mine had exploded, taking the life of a fellow comrade. Tommy stood by the stone wall, leaning against it, holding his body for support, a lit fag in his fingers, his lips belting out smoke as he exhaled. Right in front of his eyes, three of his comrades, which included his brother John, were digging with their bare hands, trying to burrow a hole into the ground so they could get into the other side and get out of this godforsaken place.

Tommy's fingernails were soaked with blood and dust, his nails almost broken for he had been the one trying to dig with his bare hands an hour back and had only taken a break to take a little rest. His observant eyes scanned through the men that were tumbling in and out of his vision, yelling amongst themselves, talking or trying to come up with a plan but his eyes were fixed on one person— Jasper.

He looked just like you, his raven black hair was just the same shade as yours, only shorter. If you decided to one day chop off your locks, you'd pass as his twin. Tommy dumped the cigarette butt to the ground and at the same time, his hand flew to his neck, clasping his fingers against the locket that you had given him. It felt warm against his palm and he knew he should have given it back to the black haired boy in front of his eyes.

Maybe this was meant to be his lucky charm, a token of love from his sister, something that was meant to protect his life. Although he wanted to go and talk to the black haired boy, a part of him did not want to part with the memory he had of you— a part of you that was now clinging to his neck.

Maybe it was his selfishness, or it was just his thoughts of you, the fact that you occupied a corner of his mind more than anyone these days, he bit on his lip hard and kept his mouth shut. He will talk to Jasper, but later — once they were out of this place.

And they did.

Only how—

It was almost twelve hours; the men were hungry, starving beyond their wits and the basement smelt of piss, sweat and blood. Finally, a yell rang through the lads' ears. A hole had finally been dug. They were free— they could go to the other side now. One by one, the men started crawling through the hole and their heads emerged on the other side of the basement, where bright moonlight shone though the glass windows, providing them with respite. There the door was, right in front of their eyes; all they had to do was get out and breathe the fresh air. Anything was better than the stale, bloody air in this place.

Tommy was speaking to his brother when from the corner of his eye, he saw three boys, one of them (Y/N)'s brother. They walked up to the front door, placing their hand on the doorknob, they pulled it open when suddenly, there was a click.

"DUCK!" Tommy screamed at the top of his lungs, as loud as he could, jumping to the ground, shielding himself underneath a table when a loud explosion happened and the screams of the three men in front of him drowned into his ears. His palm flew to the locket that dangled from his neck and a sudden guilt hit him.

"Jasper, no! Fuck, fuck. No." Tommy slid out of his hiding spot, cowering slightly just in case there was any more explosion to happen, making his way through the furniture that was lit on fire around him. There, in front of his eyes, lay the young man, covered in blood and soot, coughing.

Tommy fell on his knees, sliding his hand underneath Jasper's head to lift it up as he could see that he was still breathing, although very faintly.

"Jasper, hold on. We're going to get you to a bloody hospital, you know?"

Breath by breath, Tommy could see life sliding out of the young boy's body and it hurt him.

"Listen, mate, I met your sister, she's at the camp, she's a nurse, a fuckin' good nurse and she will —"

"She has no - no one except m-me and Johnny—" Jasper's breathless voice cut him off, whispering, his voice cracking, his chest heaving up and down.

"Come on, don't you fucking die on me here. I promised her I'll take you to the camp the next time I need fuckin' stitches."

Tommy placed his hands on the young boy's chest, pumping his heart, trying to get him to open his eyes.

"Tommy—" John's voice called out to him but he ignored him.

"Tommy" This time John's voice was loud, causing Tommy to sharply turn his neck towards him. Underneath the layers of blood and soot covering his face, he could see the sadness in John's eyes. "He's gone, Tommy. He's dead." John whispered, his voice barely a whisper.

The darkness surrounded you, but it wasn't peaceful; you could hear the sounds of occasional grenades and trip Mines somewhere at a distance and you could sometimes hear a cry of pain. You had to force yourself to clench your eyes shut and press the pillow tight against your ears to block out any sound. You wondered if life could get any worse than what it already was—

Letting out a frustrated groan, you sat up in bed, rubbing your tired, sleep deprived eyes as you snaked out of bed, your feet touching the floor. Without making any noise, you sneaked out of the bunker, not wanting to wake up anyone inside as you walked out. You looked up at the sky, the moon was shining bright — it was a beautiful full moon; a lovely starry night, but it was ironical how no one could see beauty in it. All we could see was blood, death and cries of pain.

Your arms wrapped around your body instinctively as a chilly breeze hit you, causing a shiver run down your spine. It was then when you heard the sound of the crunching of leaves somewhere across you, causing you to sharply look forward, until the familiar silhouette of the blue eyed boy came in your view.

"Tommy!" You exclaimed, your voice expressing a sudden joy you didn't know you could even feel.

You didn't know why; what connection you had with him but it felt like someone you'd known for ages had finally come back back to you. You ran in his direction, wanting to embrace him.

"You're back! You—" Words stopped from your mouth when you saw him up close. He wasn't happy. His face looked worse than how you'd seen him the last time— yes, physically too but more so, emotionally. You could see a scar in his eyes; you knew something had happened. His eyes were sunken, hollow, his face devoid of any emotion.

"Tommy—" You whispered his name, your words dripping with pain; it was strange to say that you felt it, genuinely, whatever it was that was bothering him. There was a connection and you could feel a pain building inside you as well, looking at him— so distraught.

"Say it," you pleaded with him.You knew he knew that you were in no mood to play games; that you knew that something had happened and you weren't the type of a girl to beat around the bush.

Your eyes moved along with Tommy's hand as he slid it into his pant pocket and pulled something out. Within the next second, you felt his fingers brush against your hand, his hand finally taking a hold of your hand and turning it so your palm was wide open. He then placed something cold against it and you looked down, the silver glistening against your now tear clouded eyes.

Your locket—

You bit your lip.

He was dead, of course he was.

You didn't cry or break down. You looked up at the sky and your lips curled into a weak smile. He was finally free; free of the torture, of watching countless people die and he had died a martyr. You were proud, needless to say. But your heart felt heavy. It didn't matter if he'd died a martyr's death, what mattered was that he was gone— your baby brother was gone and he was never coming back.The next minute you knew, you were on your knees, your face buried against Tommy's chest, his arm holding you gently as he let you whimper against his chest, his hand stroking the back of your head.

"I'm sorry, I'm fucking sorry. It should've been me maybe. I didn't give him the locket, I thought—"

You kept listening, all the while you had your face buried in his chest, a stabbing pain rising in your chest.

"I wanted to keep it for myself. I should've given it to him."

It didn't matter anymore. He was dead.

You don't remember how long you cried for—

It was probably minutes—

But once you were done, you wiped any traces of tears left in your eyes and put on a brave face. You were still sitting on the ground but Tommy was now standing, wondering, if there was anything he could say to you; to comfort you.

You didn't need it—

No amount of words can comfort you, and he knew it.

So he slid his hands into his pocket and turned away, slowly walking away from you.

"Tommy, wait." You weakly called out, and he froze, not turning towards you. You stood up and with slow, dragged steps, you walked up to him and placed your hand on his shoulder, nudging him to turn towards you and face you. He had to fucking face you, you deserved that much. "Look at me, for fucks sake." You hissed, your voice harsh, his body immediately stiffening in response to it. But he did what you asked him to do. Slowly, he turned around and your eyes met his icy blue ones.

He had expected you to slap him, scream at him and curse him but he had least expected you to do what you did then. You swallowed the bile forming in your throat and brought up the locket to his neck, clasping it around, letting it hang from it.

"Although it didn't protect him, I always hope it protects you."

You took a step away from him but this time, he caught your wrist, pulling you back towards him.

"Y-you don't hate me?" His voice was filled with anguish.

"It wasn't your fault. Maybe this was how it was meant to be. If there's anyone to blame, it's me. Instead of praying for them to be safe, I hoped and wondered if you were okay—" You softly whispered, looking down at the floor.

Tommy left the wrist he was holding reluctantly and this time, you gave him a weak smile and turned away. Watching you leave tore through his heart but your words providing his aching heart with a medicine, your words which he'd heard, the fact that you had thought of him, the fact that you'd wanted him to be safe. The fact that you cared for him. You wanted to be alone; to grieve. So he let you be. But he kept standing there, watching you with awe in his eyes. He wondered what he'd done good in life, to meet a woman as pure as you were. And now, a sudden selfish desire filled him up completely.

He wanted you. He needed you now. And he had to have you.

A/N: thank you for all the love I've received so far. And thank you to the creators of the lovely GIFs. 💕