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amphxtrite · 3 years

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cedric diggory x fem!reader

warnings: smut, alludes to innocence kink, experienced cedric and first time reader, oral (both male and female receiving), praise kink, daddy kink, use of pet names, alcohol, fluff at the end.

do not read if you are uncomfortable.

summary: the reader has never been with anyone when she transfers to Hogwarts for her last year, what happens when a party, fire whisky and a game of ‘never have I ever’ push her to ask the infamous playboy how to love?

a/n: hey everyone, it’s been a while! bear with me this ones still being edited but I finally finished it so here you go!

hope you enjoy!

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Sunlight streams from a window into Cedric’s eyes, slowly waking him from his slumber to throw a stabbing headache at him, a consequence for his activities the previous night. Sitting up and glancing around the room that was not his, the blue and gold accents decorating the four posters made it obvious which dorm he was in, and glancing down at the mess of black hair beside him, who’s was it?

“Fuck, not again.” Cedric murmurs, standing and tugging on his trousers and buttoning up his shirt, walking out the doors as the girl in the bed begins to stir.

After winning the Triwizard tournament Cedric had become almost a celebrity in the wizard world. He was handsome, smart, and now a champion of the deadliest competitions in the world. He gave Gilderoy Lockhart a run for his money at Witch Weekly’s Most Charming smile. The fame was everything he wanted and more, and with the girls practically throwing themselves at him, it wasn’t long before he became a notorious play-boy too, rumoured to give the best anyone ever had, before disappearing the next morning.

Sitting down at the hufflepuff table, next to his mates, Cedric reaches across the table and grabs an apple from a basket in the centre of the table and takes a bite, nibbling slowly as a headache pounds through his head.

“Hello there Diggory.” A voice laughs, dropping down beside the hufflepuff. Cedric turns his head to see Zacharius staring at him with an eyebrow cocked.

“Y-Yeah, what’s up Smith?” Cedric sighs, turning his head and massaging his forehead.

“Oh don’t tell me you were drinking again cap’n!” Zacharius groans, taking a swig of milk from his cup. “Doesn’t matter.” Cedric shrugs, shaking his head.

“We’ve got a game today!” The blonde exclaims, poking Cedric in the head.

“And we’ve got it! I’m only a little hungover.” Cedric smirks, pushing Zach back with his elbow.

Zach rolls his eyes and pulls his wand out of his pocket, “this should clear your head a bit.” He states, tapping the tip to Cedric’s forehead and muttering a soft spell.

Cedric smirks, instantly feeling the cool feeling of the drink’s impact being brushed away.

“Thanks mate.” He sighs.

“No problem Ced, now let’s get down to the pitch captain, we’ve got a match to win yeah?” Zach laughs, grabbing a slice of toast.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Cedric grins, standing and walking out of the cafeteria with Smith beside him.

“Wake up sleeping beauty!” The giggle and squeal of your new roommate wakes you, followed by a pillow to your face.

“Ah- Brinley!” You groan, sitting up immediately, and grabbing the pillow before she tries to throw it again. “Today’s tour day and then a surprise!” Brinley laughs in a song-like voice.

“W-What time is it?” You sigh, bringing your hand to your eyes and rubbing away the sleepiness.

“Doesn’t matter, it’s the weekend and Hogwarts is huge!” Brinley smiles, falling onto her own four-poster and closing her curtains.

“Get changed y/n, then the tour will commence!” She declares like a quidditch commentator.

“I got it, I got it.” You call out, throwing your covers off of you and quickly getting changed, eyes still barely opened as you pull a sweater over your body and call out to Brinley.

“Brin ‘m ready.” You sigh, standing up from your mattress and tucking your wand into your pocket.

“Finally, c’mon!” The brunette cheers, throwing back her curtains and grabbing your hand to lead you out of the dorm and out the common room.

You spent the rest of the day running from class to class, from courtyard to ‘special corridors.’ Seriously, where did this girl get all her energy from?

“Oh and there are some house ghosts! Oh- over here is the Charms classroom!” Brinley continues, tugging harder on your arm and stopping abruptly.

“Brinley what the-”

You’re cut off by Brinley’s sigh of content and legs practically melting beneath her.

“Look.” She smiles in an almost dream-like voice.

Your eyebrows furrow but you follow your gaze over to a group of boys in yellow robes, laughing and shoving each other about, you note the design as quidditch uniforms, they must be a team. You glance back over at the awe-struck girl to see her smirking with her finger in her lip.

“Cedric Diggory, tall brunette with the perfect smile.” Brinley giggles, nodding at the boy in the centre. “Playboy, school golden boy, Hogwarts champion…” She sighs, leaning against you.

“He’s absolutely stunning. There’s a rumor he can get a girl’s knickers off minutes after he pulls them away.” She breathes with glee, undressing the brunette with her eyes. You smirk at her and find your gaze following the hufflepuff’s frame.

Your eyes trail up with chest, taking in his toned shoulders and strong arms before admiring his long digits underneath his tight fitting gloves, how they flex and stretch as he walks.

Finally your eyes fixate on his face. Piercing grey eyes that seemed to stay serious even while he was smiling, the colour of storm clouds over a forest, calm but strong.

Moving downwards you trace down his defined jawline and cheekbones, sure to have anyone crawling on their knees for him. Soft pink lips almost gave the illusion he was innocent, but as soon as they pulled up to reveal a smirk, you could tell he was experienced, daring, the kind of person up for any kind of challenge, even if it meant jumping in harm’s way.

It was a face everyone in the wizarding world grew to know, the handsome hufflepuff that had not only survived, but won the triwizard tournament, he’d managed to get the entire world swooning for him.

“Hey there captain, where are you heading?” Brinley calls to Cedric once he’s close enough to hear.

“Back to the common room, can I help you sunshine?” Cedric murmurs, stopping for a moment.

“I’d like you to meet my new friend, Ceddy, this is y/n.” Brinley smiles, taking your hand and pushing you forwards.

“Well hello there y/n, say that’s a pretty name.” Cedric smirks, reaching out and taking your hand.

“O-Oh, thank you.” You smile, shaking his hand gently as he raises your fingers to his lips to press a kiss to them.

“What do you say we get away?”

“We just met Diggory, don't get cocky.” You laugh, watching his smirk grow.

“Oh, so the kitten has claws?” Cedric teases at your sudden change in tone.

You blush, and Cedric chuckles softly. “No worries, nice to meet you kitten.” Cedric nods, walking off with the rest of his team.

You’re frozen for a moment, feeling the heat grow in your face and in between your legs, did that really just happen? You blink, turning back to Brinley who has a huge grin on her lips.

“Oh I can see this…” She murmurs, glancing back and forth at you and the hufflepuff.

“Didn’t you just say you like him?” You laugh, raising an eyebrow at her.

“I said he’s hot, not that I like him, there’s a difference, kitten.” She smirks smugly, putting emphasis on your new nickname.

“Haha sunshine, any chance we could go get something to eat? I’m starved.”

“Why would you need something to eat when there’s a full course meal right ahead?” She jokes, winking at you with a playful smirk.

You roll your eyes and she slaps you gently on the shoulder.

“Hey! I’m teasing, come on it’s almost lunch anyways.” Brinley giggles, grabbing your arm once again. “After lunch I’ll show you the pitch, I have a feeling you’ll love your surprise.”

Lunch is quick and uneventful, you manage to sit down long enough to grab a sandwich, but as Brinley glances around at a clock her eyes widen and she takes your hand.

“On second thought lunch can wait, your surprise starts in ten minutes and we need to get good seats!” She laughs apologetically, placing a sandwich into her mouth as she pulls you away, luckily with yours still in hand.

“Let me guess, the surprise is a quidditch game?” You question, catching up to Brinely and walking by her side.

“You got me, just thought it would be nice for your first day.” She shrugs, walking out the door of the castle and starting across a grassy field.

“Sounds fun, who’s playing?” You ask.

“Hufflepuff, obviously, and Ravenclaw, bound to be an exciting one.” Brinley squeals, swinging her arms back and forth. “Oh?” You add.

“Ever since Cedric and Cho broke up their games have been pretty interesting.” She elaborates with an awkward smile. “Some people say they still sleep together, but everyone knows it’s because they both get hot and bothered when they’re drunk in the same room.” Brinley hints, raising both of her eyebrows.

“They sound… serious?” You joke half-heartedly as the brunette beside you breaks into a fit of laughter. “Both of them have made it crystal clear they do not want to be together, both of ‘em seem to be impossible to tie down.” Brinley giggles, catching her breath to calm herself before the two of you get to the stadium. “Exciting.” You shrug, beginning to climb a flight of stairs up to the seating area with Brinley close behind you.

“Oh that’s Hogwarts for you.” She sighs playfully, pushing you further up and forwards to find a seat.

“Now, I want a nice fair game, all of you!” Madame Hooch calls to the two teams facing off at the centre of the pitch, every player nods to the referee and she throws the quaffle up into the air, signalling the beginning of the game.

“Here it goes.” Brinley smiles excitedly, practically bouncing in her seat.

You watch in awe as the chasers fly skillfully across the pitch, passing the quaffle with speed and perfect aim, only for it to be cut short by another player who then goes zooming in the other direction. The quaffle is in possession of hufflepuff, then is stolen by ravenclaw but taken back again. Every moment is filled with suspense and when Ravenclaw scores the first goal the section of the stadium filled with blue goes wild. Up above the beater’s are hitting bludgers back and forth, defending their teammates before sending it off to the other side again. Their movements are smooth and strong, hitting every swing on the dot. The keeper’s are positioned defencefully at each end of the stadium, using tactics to save the quaffle you had never seen before. They maneuvered themselves back and forth quickly and forcefully, even taking quaffles right in the stomach to stop them. You winced more than once trying to watch the Keeper’s save each goal.

Finally, up above were the seeker’s flying up, down and around the pitch in full alert for the snitch, both Cedric and Cho had their goggles pulled down over their eyes and their heads snapping back and forth every second. You could see the competitive nature in Cho with her teeth gritting everytime Cedric dove a little too quickly or turned to try and trick her. If Cedric was having fun with this he wasn’t showing it. His lips remained sealed in a tight line and by the looks of it his jaw was clenched, both of the seeker’s hair were blowing behind them even though there was almost no wind, almost blurs compared to the other player’s a little ways below. A yellow blur here and a blue blur there was all you could see, then they would stop, scan for a moment and wait. You nibbled on your bottom lip as the scores began to grow, each team displayed new tactics the other didn’t know and soon Ravenclaw was leading 170-130. Even the golden snitch wouldn’t be enough to help them win, and you could tell there was some slight hesitation on Cedric’s face as he kept scanning.

As if he knew you were staring, Cedric’s head moved for a moment, glancing down over in the direction you were sitting in and among the sea of people, he found you. Neither you or Brinley were wearing any house colours other than the colours blue and yellow painted across both of your cheeks, guess you couldn’t make a decision, he chuckles, flying a little closer to the booth you’re sitting in, and in a teasing manner he removes the outer jacket of his quidditch uniform and drops in down, right onto your lap.

“Hold onto that for me won’t you kitten? It’s getting rather hot.” He shouts, pushing back his slightly matted brown hair and throwing a wink your way. He watches you nod bashfully, before chuckling and turning back to the game. Teasing you was so fun, how could he resist.

Turning back for a moment he catches Brinley nudging you gently with her elbow and your eyes roll as your cheeks go a light shade of pink.

He grins, but then sees it, the score has changed in his favour and as his smirk rises, he dives.

Your eyes widen as you watch Cedric plummet towards the ground. Did he spot it? Did he see the golden snitch? Cho seems to notice this too and begins plummeting down in Cedric’s direction from the other side of the stadium. You lean over the edge of the railing with Cedric’s uniform still in your arms, eyes zipping about trying to find the familiar flash of gold when, out of nowhere, Cedric looks up, and pulls the front of his broom forwards and skywards again. A loud uproar erupts from the crowd at the stunt Cedric manages to pull, leaving Cho gritting her teeth harder and stopping for a moment right at the ground before pulling up again.

Up above where Cedric was heading, you saw it. The golden snitch flutters above the stadium moving from left to right, up and down. You look over at the scoreboard and your mouth drops. 170-150, Cedric had spotted the snitch at the perfect time right as he had distracted Cho into thinking he was diving for it. You’re sitting on the edge of your seat as the chase begins. By now the sky was already changing colours, the bright azure had faded into a mix of baby blue and pink, creating a very serene backdrop for such a heart-racing chase. The snitch was as mischievous as ever, dropping down, moving to the side, up and then running away with Cedric right behind, his fingers just grazing the back of the shining snitch before losing touch again.

Cho was beginning to catch up and her gritting teeth changed into a smirk as she began to tail Cedric. Her arm raises and she begins to push herself further, almost neck and neck with the hufflepuff when the snitch jumps up suddenly, pausing for a moment as if to watch the two seekers practically leave it behind.

To it’s dismay however, a hand wraps around it at the last moment and grips it tight. The whistle is blown and every stand erupts in cheer.

Cedric sat on his broom, panting and throwing his fist, containing the snitch up into the air over and over again. A huge grin is plastered on his face as he cheers in victory and his team swarms him and starts patting each other on the back. The group of seven touch down and cheer in unison as the stands begin cheering a mix of “hufflepuff” and “Cedric” You smile, watching the seeker high five his team mates and push back his hair once again.

You don’t even realize you’re clutching his quidditch robe right against your chest until the scent wafts up into your nose and your eyes slowly drift downwards.

At first all you can smell is faint hints of citrus lingering for a moment, but taking a deep breath the soft but powerful mix of musk and sandalwood cologne fills your senses, you smile. The earthy cologne suited Cedric. Glancing around, there seemed to be no eyes on you, so you raise the fabric closer to your nose and get hit full force by the sweet aroma. It was just strong enough to make your knees go weak, but not enough to be overpowering, perfect. You smile to yourself, but feel a pair of eyes looking at you. Looking down at the pitch again, your eyes meet a pair of sharp gray ones and you know he has caught you. Cedric smirks tracing his tongue over his teeth before turning and walking into the changeroom.

“Hufflepuff won so you know what that means!” Brinley squeals, taking your hand gently and helping you stand. “What?”

“Party in the common room tonight dummy, come on!” She exclaims, tugging you off again.

“But the ro-” You interject.

“You can give it to him at the party, now hurry up!” Brinley cheers, cutting you off and running with you in tow back to the castle.

By the time Cedric and the rest of the hufflepuff team reached the common room, the area was already filled with dancing students, drinks and people making out left and right. Cheers and applause went up for a moment as the winning team stepped into the busy room, before stopping again so the partying could continue.

Your eyes had been scanning the entrance ever since you stepped in, so as soon as you saw the familiar gray eyes and brown hair you stood to get to him but Brinley, already a couple fire whiskeys in, grabbed your hand.

“Don’t h-he’s gonna go take a shower now, don’t wanna talk to him, he stinks.” She murmurs out in between giggles. You roll your eyes and look back up again, but sure enough Cedric has disappeared and you sit back down.

“You sure you don’t want to- drink some?” Brinley asks, lifting a cup to your nose.

“Brin I need to be sober enough to give it back to him, later okay?” You smile, pushing the cup back to the brunette. She mutters a short ‘suit yourself’ in response.

For a while you simply sit on the couch with your leg bouncing nervously up and down, you keep glancing back and forth at the clock and the robe in your hands and as you finally begin tuning Brinley’s drunk rambling out, Cedric emerges from the boy’s staircase in a casual white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Standing again, you weave your way through the crowd and tap Cedric on the shoulder to get his attention. He turns to face you and a playful smirk lifts his lips.

“Well hello there kitten.” He teases softly.

“Hey Ced, h-here’s your robe.” You manage to stumble out, words getting caught in your throat as glistening beads of water slipped down from Cedric’s damp hair down his cheek.

“I don’t know, you seemed pretty attached to it after the game.” Cedric chuckles.

“Oh, t-that. That was nothing just-” You’re cut off by another voice.

“Y/n, they’re doing a drinking game, come on we have too!” Brinley laughs. “Oh hi Ceddy, would you like to join?” She asks, taking both of your hands.

“Sure sunshine, lead the way.” Cedric shrugs, ushering you forwards and nonchalantly placing his hand on your waist.

The three of you take a seat on the couches again and are handed a cup by another student.

“What are we playing?” You ask, turning to Cedric.

“A muggle game called ‘never have I ever.’ You just take a shot if you’ve done something they say.” He explains, thanking the person who begins filling up your glasses.

You nod and take a deep, trying to focus on your drink and not Cedric’s hand resting on your hip.

They start off with generic questions, “never have I ever broken a bone,” “never have I ever broken up with someone,” “never have I ever lost a bet.”

Soon at least everyone had taken at least one drink, you included.

“Alright, never have I ever had sex!” Brinley questions smugly, watching as one by one everyone threw back their drink with a smile, only to stop on you.

Her eyebrows furrow, “aren’t you gonna take a drink y/n?”

“Oh- aren’t the rules if you have done it?” You question, worried you had been playing the game wrong.

“No-no it is. But you’ve never ‘done the deed’ before?” She asks, tilting her head in confusion.

“Well, no.” You state, shrugging.

“Honey, are you saying you’re in your last year of school, and you’ve never had a good shag?” She giggles, losing her filter with the amount of drinks she had.

“Brinley!” You scold, burning up with embarrassment.

“Aw, y/n!” She coos, wrapping you in a tight hug as if you were a lost puppy. “You’re so innocent and sweet, it’s adorable.” She slurs, giggling and turning back to the game.

Your lips purse and your eyebrows furrow. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to do it, you just never had the chance. You kept repeating it over to yourself as if that would change anything, but your mouth remained sealed and your eyebrows furrowed.

Cedric notices your change in demeanor and leans down closer to your ear.

“Are you alright kitten?”

It may have been the alcohol giving you a boost in confidence, or maybe the teasing you couldn’t stand, but you squeezed your legs together shamelessly right for Cedric to see.

Glancing up at the brunette you shake your head and stand from your spot, you extend your hand out for Cedric to take and he obliges, allowing you to lead him down to a more secluded area next to the boy’s dormitory staircase.

“Is everything alright?” Cedric asks as you cut him off.

“C-Can you help me?” You stammer out, wringing your fingers together.

“With what y/n?” Cedric implores, tilting your chin up to face him.

“Y-You’ve done it before right? A lot?” You continue, feeling your face grow hot.

“Listen kitten, I can only help you if you tell me what it is.” Cedric states firmly.

You swallow your pride and feel your knees buckling under his intense stare, with all the courage you can muster, you take a deep breath and murmur.

“Can you show me how to do it, c-can you fuck me?”

Cedric’s eyes widen and he has to blink the shock out of his eyes. He’d never been asked to help someone through their first time, he found it surprising you would ask him of all people, but at the same time, it was no secret he had done it all when it came to this and your request had his cock hardening in need.

“Alright kitten.” Cedric smirks, taking your hand into his and leading you up the stairs to his private head-boy room. “If you want a lesson, I’d be happy to give one.” He chuckles darkly.

You can already feel the arousal from his words alone dripping from your core to your panties as you nod slowly. Cedric pulls you into his dorm, shutting the door behind him in locking it.

“Now be good darling, and let me teach you.” Cedric smirks, pinning you against the wall and lifting your chin up to him. “Y-Yes…” You respond shyly.

“Yes, who?” Cedric teases, leaning closer to you and ghosting them right over yours. “Call me whatever feels right, kitten.” Cedric smirks, noticing you deep in thought.

“Yes daddy.” You respond meekly, almost like a question. Cedric’s eyebrows raise and his mouth begins to water at your words.

“Say it again, louder.” Cedric teases, placing his hands on your hips and squeezing tightly.

“Yes daddy!” You repeat louder, watching as Cedric’s sharp gray eyes go dark and his lips are on yours. Cedric groans as your lips mould to his, and he takes the lead, moving you in sync with his movements and tilting your chin for better access.

The brunette had never had a lover call him any nicknames before, they usually stuck to his name as he fucked them, but Merlin was this better.

His hands fly to the hem of your sweatshirt as he breaks the kiss for a moment to throw it off before connecting your lips again, slowly prodding his tongue along your bottom lip as you submissively open your mouth to give him access.

Cedric glides his tongue against yours gently swirling it around, taking in the taste of strong firewhiskey essence left on your breath and the sweet smelling perfume on your skin.

His hands travel down your chest and onto your hips as he drags your pants down by the waist, leaving them in a pool around your legs, leaving you only in your bra and panties.

Not taking his lips off yours, Cedric takes your hands and places them at the hem of his white shirt and you get the message, slowly, you take the soft fabric in between your fingers and tug it up Cedric’s chest, pulling back to maneuver it over his head and dropping it on the ground beside you. Taking your hands into his again, Cedric guides your hands to his torso and chest, inviting you to touch him as he deepens the kiss once again.

You oblige and place one hand on his toned shoulder and the other finds its place around Cedric’s abdomen and on his lower back, pulling you impossibly closer to the hufflepuff.

Your breath hitches as you feel the brunette’s hard length pressing against your lower stomach and you pull away from the kiss for a moment to look down and gulp nervously.

Cedric looks down at you teasingly, watching your eyes go from excitement to anxiety.

“What’s wrong kitten? Do you want to get on your knees for your daddy?” Cedric chuckles, placing his nose against your ear and whispering in a hushed tone.

“Y-Yes daddy, but-”

“Shh, daddy has it covered, kitten.” Cedric smirks, bringing his long digits up and placing two in front of your lips.

“Now show me what you want to do, and then we’ll put those lips of yours to real use.” Cedric nods, doing his best to keep himself upright as you nervously open your mouth and take his fingers down to the knuckle, Cedric swallows his urge to just fuck you right there and bites back a groan as your tongue begins swirling around his fingers. Your movements are slow and timid at first, but you move your hand up to hold Cedric’s fingers in place and begin moving your head back and forth, moving quickly but taking your time to drag your tongue up and down Cedric’s long digits.

“Fuck that’s perfect kitten.” Cedric smiles weakly, feeling his cock begin to throb in desire.

“Does it feel good daddy?” You ask, pushing Cedric back a bit so you have room to get down on your knees. “Yes, so good.”

You smile and pull down Cedric’s sweatpants by the waistband and his hand finds its way into your hair, softly at first, but as his length finally springs free, his grip tightens and you smirk knowingly.

Taking Cedric’s shaft into your hands you begin teasing the hufflepuff’s tip with your tongue, running it up and down his thick shaft as his grip on your hair tightens and soft groans leave his lips. You pause for a moment, and Cedric, sensing your fear, places his other hand on your jaw and gathers your hair into his hand.

“You’re doing so well, kitten, making daddy feel so good.” Cedric sighs contently with a grin. Your smile returns to your face and you nod, taking Cedric’s length into your mouth as far as you could and using your hand for what you can’t reach, and like with his fingers you begin swirling your tongue around, testing the waters and glazing up to see Cedric’s reaction.

Eyes closed, mouth agape, and incoherent curses spilling from his lips, you feel your confidence grow and you pick up the pace, bobbing your head back and forth and slowing down to tease his tip. You grow daring and attempt to go deeper, and as Cedric feels his tip hitting the back of your throat he lets out a low groan and feels his hips rolling gently.

With tears pricking your eyes you take Cedric’s cock as the arousal in your pussy grows and with eyes clouded by pleasure, the gray-eyed hufflepuff smirks.

“Use your finger kitten, and make circles around until you find the right spot.” Cedric instructs, watching your hand travel down past your stomach and into your panties.

You experiment around, slowly moving upwards until you feel it, a sudden burst of pleasure hitting you right in the perfect spot..

“Mmh!” You moan, moving your fingers faster against your clit, finally feeling the need in your lower stomach being satisfied.

Your moans send vibrations up Cedric’s shaft and send the brunette doubling over in pleasure with one hand on the wall behind you for support.

“T-That’s it kitten, fuck.” Cedric sighs, watching your hand move back and forth against your clit while your tongue swirls addictively against his cock.

For a moment, with his eyes practically rolling into the back of his head Cedric forgets ‘the lesson’ and delves deeper into the pleasure, his eyes train on your lips wrapped around him and your fingers moving innocently, still too nervous to go deeper, the feeling of you gagging was enough to get him to snap out for a moment and let go of his grip on your hair.

“W-What’s wrong daddy?” You ask, looking up to Cedric with wide eyes.

“N-Nothing, it’s just time for our next lesson.” He explains, helping you up and leading you over to his bed.

Pushing you backwards onto the bed, Cedric watches intrigued as your eyes fly about his room instead of looking at him and he bites back a smirk.

“That’s enough kitten, lay back.” Cedric commands.

You oblige immediately, slowly lowering yourself onto the soft bed and wringing your fingers together over your stomach.

Cedric pauses, dragging his eyes over your body and taking in every curve, you feel the insecurity bubble in your stomach and you move your hands to hide it, when Cedric grabs them and whispers a simple, “don’t, you’re beautiful.”

Your face flushes red and you allow Cedric to place your arms at your side before hooking his fingers on the sides of your soaked panties and pulling them down.

The full scent of your arousal hits him full force and the sight of it glistening all for him made the wish to just drop to his knees now unbearable.

“Okay kitten. I want you to spread your legs and play with your clit again.” Cedric orders, stepping back and crossing his arms.

“W-What?”

“Spread your legs and fuck yourself with your fingers, kitten.” Cedric repeats, watching in amusement as your eyes widen and your lips purse nervously, legs spreading and fingers finding themselves on your clit nevertheless.

“L-Like this daddy?” You ask, gently teasing your fingers down your slit.

“Faster kitten.” Cedric replies plainly, smirking to himself.

You gasp suddenly as your digits begin to pick up the pace, moving in circles around your throbbing clit. “L-Like this?” You pant, throwing your head back gently as the pleasure

“That’s perfect darling. How does it feel?” Cedric smirks.

“Good. So-So good!” You squeak, curling your toes at the euphoria rushing through your abdomen and through your veins as you push your fingers faster and faster.

Your hips buck upwards and your panting grows heavier as your thoughts and movement begin to grow erratic. Cedric licks his lips and steps forwards, lowering himself down onto his knees and prying your hand away, he watches in delight as your eyes widen in confusion at him, your mouth opening and closing as you try to regain your thoughts.

“Just relax, kitten.” Cedric coos, inching closer and licking a thick stripe up your core, lingering seductively on your clit as he pushes it around with his tongue.

“O-Oh fuck.” You moan, tightening your grip on the sheet as you watch Cedric suck gently on the sensitive bud. His large calloused hands massage your thighs as he works, gently caressing them as they shake in pleasure.

He shifts his attention downwards, letting his tongue slide down until he reaches your slit and then, agonizingly slowly, he begins to dip the tip of his tongue in and out, again and again, watching you shake and whine impatiently, waiting for you to break.

You try to pull him closer to you by burying your hand into his hair and tugging on him, but he keeps his pace, no matter how hard you buck your hips or grind down on him he persists until finally you beg.

“Please daddy, please. I-I need you! Fuck go faster.” You cry in pure need.

Cedric smirks to himself victoriously and obliges.

“Whatever my princess wants.”

As if a switch was flipped Cedric begins darting his tongue out as quick as he could, going in and out and lapping up and down.

The hufflepuff moves his hand from your thigh and begins slowly teasing you as his tongue swirls around your clit. You whimper at the feeling of his fingers sinking into your slit and grind your hips instinctively at the feeling. Your core clenches as Cedric’s digits pick up the pace, your mouth parts over and over again, trying to find your voice, but no words come out. You couldn’t think, couldn’t move, all you could feel was Cedric fingers thrusting in and out of you and his tongue sending delicious shockwaves up your stomach it was too much, but it felt so fucking good. You could feel your body clench and something tightening inside you that kept tugging everytime Cedric’s fingers slammed back into you.

Cedric chuckles to himself, sending even more vibrations up your core. He knew what was coming. Your breathing was growing erratic, your hips were bucking and you were squirming around in his grip.

“Do you feel that kitten?” He smirks, watching as you nod vigorously.

“Let go, darling. Relax.” Cedric hushes in a soft tone.

His fingers don’t stop as you finally give in, white flashing your vision as you cry and feel your release, crying Cedric’s name over and over again as he helps you ride out your high.

“Beautiful darling.” He murmurs, cleaning you off with his tongue as you whimper in response.

“How are you feeling? We can stop if-”

You cut him off.

“No! P-Please daddy, it feels so good I want more.” Your eyes widen at your own words and your face flushes a deep shade of red, you look down.

Cedric’s eyes widen for a moment before his grin returns and he nods.

“Very well then.” He murmurs, ditching his sweatpants that were wrapped around his ankles and climbing onto his bed.

Pushing you back gently he positions himself above you and takes his lips into yours in a soft kiss, waiting for you to return it.

Your eyes close and you tilt your head to the side, allowing Cedric to part his lips and tease his tongue along yours.

You breathe sharply in through your nose as the taste of your pussy still lingers on Cedric’s lips, but you find yourself moaning at the sensation, wrapping your arms around Cedric’s neck to pull him closer to you.

His hands move to your back where he skillfully unclips your bra, breaking the kiss for only a second as he pulls it from your arms and tosses it away.

Before you even realize it his lips are on your again, harder this time and far more passionate, he moves his lips slowly but fully, making you moan in satisfaction.

You feel your arousal grow again as heat builds up in your core, you swing your legs impatient around Cedric’s torso in a wordless plea to fuck you.

Cedric smiles into the kiss and without removing his lips from yours he uses his hands to loosen the grip from your legs and place them back on his bed. He pushes them apart and gets himself into position, before slowly pushing his length into you. You drew a sharp breath as he pushed deeper into you, but the sharp feeling went away almost immediately as you shifted yourself into a more comfortable position.

Cedric has to restrain himself from starting as he waits for your permission to start. Being your first time, he didn’t want to accidentally hurt you, or start before you were ready.

He lets out a breathy groan, you wrapped around him so perfectly, he had to pull away from your lips for a moment to bite his lip.

You capture his lips back into yours and whisper softly for him to start, Cedric doesn’t hesitate and begins to roll his hips in and out, building speed with each thrust of his hips.

“Fuck kitten you feel so good.” He moans, moving his lips to your neck and sucking on the sensitive skin as you sigh in pleasure.

Your breathing came out in rough pants with each thrust from Cedric’s hips, mixing with moans of ecstasy as he filled you up each time, hitting the spot deep in you that had your toes curling and your head lolling back.

“Faster daddy please!” You cry as Cedric nods and quickened his pace making shallow but thorough thrusts and sent vibration all the way up your body and through your veins.

“F-Fuck right there.” You beg, holding onto Cedric’s back like your life depended on it.

“You’re doing so well for me kitten, f-fuck.” Cedric praises causing light shivers to go down your spine.

You whimper softly.

Cedric chuckles softly as he buries his neck in your neck again and bucks his hips, burying himself fully causing a sharp gasp.

“Kitten you feel so good wrapped around my cock, Merlin I could fuck you for days.” The brunette murmurs darkly.

Your face darkens even more and you can only squeak out a small ‘thank you’ before Cedric begins snapping his hips back and forth again.

“Oh- oh fuck.”

“You like it when I praise you kitten? Tell you how perfect you feel while I fuck you.” Cedric taunts, pressing hard kisses down your neck.

“Yes daddy, I love it!” You shout, tightening your grip on his back as Cedric thrusts faster and harder

The tight sensation in your stomach was back and it was getting harder to hold in your climax with Cedric thrusts still hitting your core perfectly.

“D-Daddy, I’m so close.” You pant, arching your back and dropping your head into the pillows below you.

“I-I’m almost there kitten, you’re doing so well.” Cedric breathes, moaning in pleasure as you clench suddenly, trying to keep your release at bay.

“It’s alright darling, cum for me love.” Cedric murmurs, connecting your lips once more as his thrusts grow slower. You nod firmly, arching your back and feeling your eyes roll back as ecstasy pulses through your being.

The shockwaves from your release and the sound of your voice shouting his name pushes Cedric over the edge and after one final thrust his vision flashes.

“Oh fuck y/n.” He moans, slowly rolling his hips to ride out his high.

Cedric smiles as he finishes, collapsing gently beside you.

“How was it, kitten?” Cedric asks teasingly, placing his hand on your cheek.

“W-Wow.” You mutter after a moment. “It was perfect Ced, I learned so much.” You smile.

“That's great kitten, you did… amazing.” Cedric smirks, finding his voice getting caught in his throat as he speaks.

You glance out the window and see darkness pouring through the glass panes.

“M’ getting tired Ced.” You sigh, getting ready to throw the covers off and try to get back to your room.

“Hey, hey. It’s alright. You can stay here, I’ll clean you up.” The hufflepuff insists, sitting up suddenly and grabbing his wand.

You nod and close your eyes for a moment, he murmurs a spell and when you open your eyes again you are cleaned off and Cedric was walking towards you with clean clothes, wearing his sweatpants again.

“Here, I-I’ll get you some water.” he smiles, laying a large t-shirt and a pair of his boxers onto the bed.

You nod meekly and sit up carefully to grab the clothing.

Shrugging on the shirt, you watch as Cedric makes his way to his door.

“Thank you by the way.” You sigh hoarsely, smiling to yourself.

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll be back in a moment.” Cedric nods, opening the door to his dorm and leaving.

“Godric…” Cedric sighs to himself as he leaves. For a moment he leans on the door and just breathes. This was just supposed to be a ‘lesson.’ A one night thing where you’d be together one night and forget. But, how was he going to forget? The way you touched his skin, said his name, called him ‘daddy.’

Fuck.

By the time he reached the common room the party had died down to only the hufflepuff students who were either passed out or cleaning up.

The refreshments table still had a few pitchers of water no one had touched so Cedric grabs one and two cups before turning and walking towards the stairs.

When he returned you were half passed out on his bed, your eyes flutter lightly as he walks in and Cedric can’t help but smile. You look so beautiful lying there, exhausted, but absolutely stunning.

“Hey, I brought you something to drink.” He whispers, pouring you a drink before helping you sit up.

“Mm-” You nod, taking the cup from his hand and drinking it.

The cool water feels amazing down your dry throat, you smile and thank him again before handing the cup back to him and collapsing back into bed.

“I-I’ll sleep on the floor.” Cedric mutters, placing the cup onto his bedside stand.

“No- Can you stay with me, please?” You murmur out suddenly, shifting to the side of the bed and snuggling yourself into his blanket.

“Yeah, of course.”Cedric smiles, sitting beside you before laying and getting situated in the covers.

You turn as soon as he’s comfortable and cuddle yourself into his chest.

“G’night Cedric.” You yawn, feeling your fatigue pull you into unconsciousness.

“Goodnight y/n.” The hufflepuff murmurs, wrapping his arms around your torso and resting his chin over your head.

There was something soothing about your breathing, the scent of your hair, the feeling of your skin against his. Something about you felt right, you felt perfectly sculpted against him.

Almost, ethereal.

But you deserved so much better than him. More than a playboy that has used every trick in the book. More than someone who could barely remember his nights because of alcohol. More than him.

You were innocent, more or less, compared to him. You still had a chance.

He sighs, pulling you closer to him.

For tonight though it didn’t matter, you were asleep peacefully in his arms and he was there with you. You could make the choice in the morning. But for now he was here, with you.

And that was all that mattered.

#cedric diggory #cedric diggory fanfiction #cedric smut #cedric diggory imagine #Cedric #Cedric Diggory smut #cedric fanfiction #cedric fic #cedric diggory x reader #cedric diggory fluff #cedric x y/n #cedric diggory smut #cedric diggory x reader fluff #cedric diggory x reader smut #cedric x reader #cedric diggory x you #nsfw.anya

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floralseokjin · 3 years

Text

⤑ made-up love song v (m).

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, fluff, smut; a shit ton of kissing, oral (f), seokjin likes eye contact, slight overstimulation, he also seems to have a slight potty mouth when turned on, romantic sex, protected sex, shower scene, oral (m), this chapter is basically just sex, enjoy! (yes, the dilf dick is b i g) lingerie described found here for the visuals ~ words; 9,572

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

Saturday couldn’t come soon enough. You were like a little kid at the lead up to Christmas. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this excited for something. Actually, on second thoughts, you couldn’t think of a time you were this excited for anything, period. And all over the prospect of sleeping with Seokjin, and definitely not in the innocent way… He had in no way explicitly stated that you’d be having sex this week, but the insinuation was heavy in the air. Everything leading up to this moment was suggesting come Saturday night you would not be sat in front of Seokjin’s 75” television watching boxsets…

On the morning of you decided to pack a few things in a small case. You definitely planned on returning home in the day if needed or bored while Seokjin was at work, but the essentials were required: underwear, pyjamas, a few outfits, toiletries and skincare, your iPad, miscellaneous chargers. Soojung on the other hand was acting like you were never coming back…

“I’m going to miss you.” She whined, having been hovering around you as you packed. “Leaving me alone with smelly Tae.”

In a bid not to be alone in the evenings she’d invited her smelly boyfriend over for the week, but although she sounded irked it was all just an act. God knows what they’d get up to while you were gone, you dreaded to think. On second thoughts, maybe it would be best to stay at Seokjin’s place all week… You had no clue what you’d walk in on in your own home.

“I won’t be gone the whole week. Besides, we can meet up for lunch and stuff.” You often visited her at the department store, perusing the food court until it was time for her lunch break. You weren’t secluded from the whole world while away. What did she think was happening?

She helped you fold your clothes in momentary silence, deep in thought it seemed. “What if you love it there and want to stay permanently Dilf mansion?”

You scoffed immediately, taking the small pile of t-shirts from her to pack away. “Soo, way to jump the gun.” You’d been dating barely six weeks, hadn’t even had sex yet, moving in together was number 1 on the highly unlikely list. Although, sliding in a couple of pairs of flats into the top pocket of your case and zipping it up, you hummed in consideration. “Dilf mansion does have a ring to it though…”

Soojung’s attention was on another pile of clothing now – one you would be wearing this evening to leave for Seokjin’s house. Her fingertips brushed along the delicate baby blue lace of your lingerie, sitting on top of the pile and she looked up at you and grinned wickedly. “You’re going to knock his socks off with this.”

You and her had spent yesterday browsing the mall with a very important task. To decide on the most perfect lingerie set. Knowing Seokjin for a while know, you’d noticed he had an inclination for the colour blue, so your chosen piece had to be a winner – practically see-through, littered in beautiful lace flowers. You were well and truly prepared for tonight, you were a woman on a mission.

“His Dilf socks,” you corrected your best friend, both of you instantly exploding into a fit of giggles.

Arin had left with her grandparents this morning, and as much as Seokjin was eager to get this weekend started and see you immediately, he actually had a few things he needed to take care of at work. It wasn’t until around 5pm that you got into your car to make the short journey, Soo waving you off proudly like you were about to attend your graduation. You were honestly quite calm given the circumstances, although one look at Seokjin as he stepped out the front door to take your case and all inner composure was lost. You were one big ball of excitement, most of it flurrying around in the pit of your stomach. Yet you kept cool on the outside, grinning at the handsome man in front of you despite your lingerie burning marks into your skin.

And handsome he was today, (as if he wasn’t every day), his dark hair parted in the centre of his forehead naturally, his eyes crinkling as he smiled and leaned in for a kiss. You tasted a hint of mango on his mouth, an obvious sheen to his plump lips, and you presumed he’d applied some chapstick before you’d arrived – the chapstick you’d bought him not too long ago after he’d complained of cracked lips to you on the phone one night.

“Hey,” he greeted softly, his arms around your waist, body pressed snuggly into yours.

“Hey yourself,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around his neck, gazing into one another’s eyes before you lightly teased him. “Are we going to stay out here all night?”

Chuckling heartily, he reached behind you, lifting your case with ease. “Let’s go put this in my room.”

You’d never once stepped foot onto the upper level of his house before, so you were very observant on your way to his bedroom, eyes catching art pieces (you noticed numerous of Arin’s) and photos along the walls, light fixtures, as well as the odd plant here and there. You had to walk two flights of stairs to get to your destination, one average in length, the other shorter, veering off to the left of the corridor to reach a landing leading into his bedroom. You remembered what he’d said about changing and designing his bedroom himself, so you were very curious as to what it looked like inside. Yet still, the sight of it stunned you to brief silence.

His was the largest bedroom in the house, the master bedroom if you were being fancy, but in your opinion it was more like a mini home in itself. All it needed was a kitchen and you would be good to go. It smelt just like him – of his cologne and the recognisable vanilla scent his house seemed to waft of every time you visited. The walls were warm grey, décor similar with dashes of cream and gold. The bed matched the whole vibe of the room – insanely large, and you could already tell it was going to be the comfiest thing you’d ever slept on. Directly opposite, but a long way away, were a sofa and love seat sat around a TV hooked to the wall above a stunning fireplace. There were two sets of double windows, from the ceiling to the wooden floor, dark grey drapes open – not that it mattered. Seokjin’s house was out-of-the-way, no chance of being seen. All you were met with as you looked down, was a small patch of garden you hadn’t seen before, plain and simple, but very beautiful. Tranquil.

To the left of the room a door opened into another, perhaps a quarter of the size – his closet, and you followed him inside, still pretty much lost for words. He said there was no point putting your belongings away tonight, you could do it tomorrow, but he’d saved a drawer for you and there was an empty section of hanging space you could use too. There was also a dressing table you could put to good use, because he sure didn’t, and then he whisked you away into the bathroom, which was probably the most beautiful room in the house. Everything was warm marble in colour. A separate bath and shower (both gigantic) and double sinks.

“I got you a robe,” Seokjin pointed out, and you followed his gaze to behind the door, two fluffy white robes hooked to the wall.

Oh, boy. You could get used to this.

Seokjin ordered takeout for dinner – from an Indian restaurant Namjoon kept raving about apparently. With the amount he ordered you could have sworn he was feeding a whole party, not just the two of you. You were stuffed in no time, curling up on the sofa with a glass of red wine as Seokjin loaded the dishwasher. He still hadn’t cooked an actual meal for you, and when he joined you, of course you reminded him. This week he was preparing dinner for you one night, and that was final. You needed to see what Chef Kim had in him – even if he insisted his skills were long forgotten.

You cuddled as you watched a movie, which more often than not meant you’d start to become sleepy – just ask Soojung – but tonight was different. You were wide awake and practically thrumming with excitement. You were begging for the movie credits an hour before they were due, and when they finally popped up your heart started to beat harder in anticipation. It was nearing 11pm. Your lingerie was still burning welts into your skin…

Seokjin kissed the top of your head, your back pressed into his chest where you’d been snuggled into him, legs across the sofa, for the duration of the night. One of his arms was crossed around your front, the other free to drink his wine as he propped his feet up on the glass topped coffee table. You could really get used to this.

“What did you think?” He hummed, reaching forward to place his glass on a coaster. You grabbed his hand, not wanting him to leave you and he chuckled, quickly resuming position to now loop both arms around your shoulders, pressing you further into the warmth of his body.

“I enjoyed,” you replied with a small shrug. In all honesty it would’ve been a great movie if you hadn’t been so distracted.

You felt him lower his head, breath hot against your ear as he spoke. “I’m glad you didn’t fall asleep on me.” You giggled as he started to kiss the column of your neck, his barely there presses of his lips tickling you. Yet still you pushed into his hold, letting your head fall back. He took the opportunity to suck your earlobe between his lips, eliciting a sweet sigh from you. “I really can’t wait to spend this entire week with you.” He whispered.

You tried to keep your voice as uninvolved as possible – which was a lot harder when he now had your earlobe between his teeth. “Eh. I’m so-so over it.”

“Y/N!” He scolded playfully, groaning a laugh as he lifted his head away. “Stop. Now’s not the time for joking around.”

“I’m sorry,” you giggled, latching onto his hands.

“Face me,” he murmured almost suddenly. “Let me kiss you properly.”

His kisses were gentle and loving, his hands cupping your face as you leaned into him, hands placed across his hard chest. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt tucked into some black pants, he’d looked irresistible all night. He pulled away slowly, lips upturned almost drunkenly. “What’s that grin for?”

Seokjin’s gaze flicked from your lips to your eyes repeatedly as he replied, thumbs massaging circles into your cheeks. “I’m just very happy. Is that allowed?”

Giggling, you pressed your mouth to his, wrapping your palms around his neck to pull him in closer. He hummed loudly – indulgently, and let you lick into his mouth, his own hands slipping down to your neck and down your torso, gripping your middle. Your chest was flush to his and you welcomed the heat of his body. You were happy too. It had been a long time since you’d last felt this content, and tonight you’d realised just how lovely it was to be able to lounge with Seokjin and be in his company so casually, so naturally like this. You would become spoiled this week, but you couldn’t feel too worried right now.

Breaking away again, it seemed like he wanted to say something, but your mouth was a greedy thing, finding its way down his neck and across his throat as he leaned his head against the back of the sofa, his breathing shallow as he let you wonder. His fingers brushed up and down your back distractedly, until he seemed to remember what he wanted to tell you. “Hey,” he whispered, breath catching in his throat when you pinched your teeth into his Adam’s apple softly. “Hey, stop for a moment. There was something I wanted to say before…” He trailed off, unsure how to finish the very obvious direction of his sentence, and as much as you wanted to nosedive straight into that pool, you pulled back to look into his eyes, waiting patiently.

He straightened his back and you eased off him a little, finding his fond smile contagious. “I’ve enjoyed these past few weeks so much.” He began, sincerity in his tone . “I know I’m not old old by any means but dating you has made me feel like I’m young again. I mean, grinding in the middle of a bar is something I didn’t even do back in my college days.”

“I fail to believe that,” you laughed.

“Really,” he insisted, looking amused. “I was a nerd. A handsome one, but a nerd nonetheless.” Before you could roll your eyes he was continuing. “What I’m trying to say is that, I really like you, Y/N.” His fingers played with the ends of your hair lovingly. “You know that already. Shit, I’m crazy about you. Just hearing your voice makes my day better. No matter how short a time we spend together, even if it’s just on the phone to say goodnight, I feel happy – I feel relaxed.” He paused to take a breath before moving to cup your face with one hand. “No matter how stressed I am you make it better by just existing.”

“…Seokjin,” you murmured, a little lost for words at his declaration.

He chuckled warmly, tops of his cheeks tinged somewhat rosy. “Too cheesy?”

You shook your head adamantly, reaching for his face as well. “Not at all. I’m crazy about you too.” His face lit up instantly and you couldn’t help but kiss him. “I’m so happy we met,” you confessed against his mouth. “I don’t want this summer to be over.”

“It’s not over yet,” he laughed. “We still have time to make it even better.” You wanted that more than anything. Finding it difficult to keep away from your lips, he practically had to tear himself away. He was out of breath. “I know saying this out loud is silly given everything, but… Let’s make this official.”

Your heart started somersaulting. You felt like you were in high school again, over the moon because Kim Rowoon had asked you to prom. Only this was better than that – much, much better. Linking your arms around Seokjin’s neck you tilted your head to the side, a grin unable to keep off your face. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, Mr. Kim?”

“What do you say?” He sounded hopeful and soft.

You hummed out loud, thinking hard. “Can I get back to you? 3 to five business days seems about right.” You immediately squealed as you finished your sentence, Seokjin’s hands finding their way around your butt to tug you forward. You gripped onto his shoulders with the surprise.

“Too bad because I’ve already been calling you my girlfriend at the office.”

You didn’t have a chance to reply, the hard press of his lips against yours knocking you senseless. You found yourself in his lap not long after, fingers dragging through his hair as you clung to him, mouths moving in gradual urgency until you began to feel out of breath. Your tongues seemed to grow more daring, intent, as your soft moans mingled with his quiet groans. You hadn’t quite found yourself in this position before, usually moulded to the soft leather but this time you had Seokjin pinned tight, a heat that was quickly becoming unbearable burning between your bodies, and his hands running up and down your back didn’t help.

Each brush of his fingertips had your skin prickling with warmth, dizzying your mind, and when you felt him brush against the curve of your left breast you leaned forward into his touch, desperate for more. Seokjin grunted, encouraged by your action as he cupped the soft flesh, his thumb grazing your nipple which hardened from the touch. Your kiss turned a lot more frenzied after that, Seokjin roaming your body with confidence, his unoccupied hand cupping your butt to rock you against his crotch.

He was hard. You’d felt it stiffening ever since you’d climbed into his lap, but now he was solid, flesh pressing (probably painfully) against his pants, and feeling emboldened you lifted your hips, hovering over him for your hand to slot in between your bodies, cupping his erection firmly. He stiffened under your grasp, his breath hitching and you took that moment to drag your tongue along his, teasing him as you slowly started to stroke him above his slacks. He felt thick and rigid between your fingers, pulsing erratically against your hold, and he broke away from your mouth, head falling back as a loud, drawn-out groan slipped from his throat. You gazed at him – eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed, mouth parted as he breathed shallowly – and took a mental picture. You wanted to remember this moment forever. He looked gorgeous, basking in pleasure and you wanted to pleasure him more. It was an urge so strong you practically dived on him, mouth slamming into his. He soon gained his bearings, kissing you just as wildly as his hands groped your body.

“Do you – mm, do you want – mm – to take this upstairs?” He asked against your lips, fingers currently digging into the soft flesh of your ass. The veins in his neck were visible, his desperation for you obvious, and you pulled away from the kiss to nod rapidly. If he didn’t get you upstairs soon you’d surely explode.

You let out a little squeak as you suddenly found yourself in the air, safely held up by Seokjin. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, clinging to him as he began to make the brisk walk to the hallway and towards the staircase. “Oh, my god,” you muttered, laughing as you realised he was about to carry you bridal style all the way up the stairs.

“What?” He laughed back, his eyes twinkling warmly. Your heart melted at the sight and you leaned in to kiss him, uncaring that you both may fall backwards and break your necks.

“I may have forgotten about the amount of stairs in this goddamn house,” he panted lightly once you’d made it past the first set.

“Put me down then,” you giggled.

“Never,” he sang out, pecking you on the mouth sweetly.

Once in his bedroom, he placed you down, closing the door behind you before caging you against it, kissing you like he hadn’t seen you for months. You keened into his touch, whole body hot and ready for him, but in the end you couldn’t keep up with his mouth. He’d never kissed you like this, he was a man possessed, you physically felt weak at the knees and you clung to him, moaning softly when his mouth fell to your neck.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he confessed against the wet skin, fresh waves of arousal washing through your body. His voice was an octave lower, gruff and nothing like you’d heard before. “I can’t contain myself knowing we’re going to be alone for a whole week.”

“What do you plan on doing to me?” You laughed weakly, but to be honest, the time for wisecracks were gone. You were hanging on by a thread, this close to begging him to tear your clothes off.

Cupping your neck he pulled away to look you in the face. His pupils were blown out, more black than the warm brown you were used to. The tops of his cheeks were tinged red, his own arousal very evident, and when he replied he sounded as sincere as ever. “Anything you want me to.”

Okay, if he carried on like this, he’d mess up your plan good and proper. He was rude. Very rude. And hot, and sexy, and yours. God, you really wanted him. Your body was screaming for him. You pressed a kiss to his mouth, and then another, and another, determined not to get yourself glued there no matter how much he tried to drag his tongue along the seam of your lips. “L-let me freshen up,” you managed to get out, voice shaky as you (with great difficultly) held him away at arm’s length.

At your words, he slowly made sense of them, his eyes refocussing before he gave you a short nod and politely stepped back. “Ok.”

Before you could be tempted by that mouth of his once more, you made a dash for his bathroom, closing the door behind you. Immediately you began to rush out of your clothes, not even bothering to fold them properly because you were in such a hurry. You’d had this planned all night, wanting him to be rendered speechless, and staring at your lingerie cladded self in the giant mirror he had hooked to the wall, you reminded yourself to take a breather. You were going to walk out there calmly, the epitome of composed as you sought out his reaction. With one last look at your reflection, you walked towards the door and opened it.

Seokjin was sat on the edge of the bed, legs sinfully spread (but oh so casually, which just made it hotter), but he wasn’t looking your way, his eyes darting around the room a little as if he was desperately trying to find some patience. Knowing he was riled and aroused made your head even more dizzy, and stopping by the doorframe, you called out to him.

He looked your way instantly, eyes bulging even quicker. Actually they practically popped out on storks as he took in the sight of you in the baby blue underwear. He seemed paralysed.

“Hey,” you smiled, all of a sudden feeling a little shy as you waited for him to say something.

It took another moment, but then he was swallowing hard, wetting his mouth as his lips parted. “Oh, shit.”

You smiled victoriously, those simple two words satisfying you fully.

He outstretched his hand, voice thick and raspy as he beckoned you forward. “Come here.”

You obeyed, closing the distance between you quickly and Seokjin wasted no time clasping his hands around your hips as you stood in front of him, between his legs. If felt so good to finally have his hands on your bare skin. His touch was warm, soothing, but most of all, electrifying. Goosebumps spread as he dragged his fingers up and down your sides, his eyes drowning at the sight of you.

“Do you like it? It’s not too much?” You asked, looking down at him. You glowed under his gaze.

He lifted his head up, arching an eyebrow. “Do I like it? Is that supposed to be a genuine question?” He sounded just as baffled as he looked and it made you giggle. His fingers started to play with the thin waistband of your panties before delicately outlining the lace flower petals on your ass. The sensation made you shiver, and a small smile grew on his face as he watched you. “You look gorgeous.” He leaned forward, beginning to place small, gentle kisses on your abdomen and your skin rippled, butterflies appearing. “You’re beautiful.” He murmured, hot puffs of air hitting you, heating you up even more.

You curled your hand in his hair, needing something to latch on to as you watched him mouth even more kisses along your flesh. The point of his tongue dipped into your navel scandalously, and as you gasped he looked up with his eyes and smirked, tongue now swirling invisible patterns along your stomach. The sight sent you a little gooey, legs feeling weak again as your heart thrummed inside your chest.

“However… I was looking forward to undressing you…” He teased.

You teased right back. “You still have the lingerie.”

He couldn’t handle that, growling quietly against your stomach, his hands rounding your ass to mould the flesh in his palms firmly. He’d soon tear the panties if he kept that up. Obviously the idea of stripping you naked sent him feral – something you’d remember well for this week. You yelped when you felt him sink his teeth into your hip bone, pulling him closer to your body by his hair, desperate for more. It was when you looked behind him, did you notice the pillar candles aflame on the two nightstands that sat either side of his bed. They weren’t burning before you’d entered the bathroom. You were sure of it.

“Seokjin, did you light candles?” You asked without realising, changing the atmosphere slightly, but you didn’t mind too much, not when the image of Seokjin rushing to burn candles for the ~ambience~ was too damn adorable.

He lifted from your skin, looking up at you. “Um, yeah.” He sounded a little awkward before he chuckled softly. “I thought against the slow R&B music.”

“Good choice,” you laughed, fingers rubbing small circles into the nape of his neck. That would’ve been hilarious.

“I’m totally out of my depth here…” He admitted, nudging you backwards a little to stand in front of you. He kept his hands on your waist, ducking down to be eye level with you. “I haven’t done this in a while.”

“Snap,” you grinned, rubbing your nose against his as you wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him close. You kissed him deeply, feeling happy and relaxed. There wasn’t a nerve in sight and despite his honest words you knew he was at ease too.

Your hands slipped over his shoulders and down his toned chest, stopping just before the waistband of his pants to tug at his t-shirt, untucking him. “You have to get naked too.” You whined, detaching your mouths. “I’m feeling sorely underdressed.”

He let out an airy chuckle, immediately reaching for the neck of his shirt to tug it over his head. Your hands greedily started to explore his torso, running your fingers along his faintly lined abs before trailing up his hard chest. He shivered as you brushed against his nipples, a tiny laugh slipping from his throat.

“What?” You laughed.

“’Tickles.” He mumbled, leaning in for another kiss. You wrapped your arms around him, loving the feeling of his bare chest against yours, but soon enough you got impatient again, hands reaching for the button of his pants. You popped it open and proceeded to unzip him, at least giving his poor erection some reprieve. It had been pressed up against your lower stomach for quite some time, still rigid but as patient as ever.

He took over, stepping back to push them past his hips, his lips still attached to yours. “Mm–Bed.” He hummed, taking you by the hips to switch places. You pulled away and sat down, watching him kick his pants off his feet and your eyes zoned in on the curve of his erection, hidden by his Armani underwear – black with a red waistband. His thighs were perfectly toned, his skim glowing in the soft lighting. He looked good enough to eat and your heart skipped a couple of beats as he walked forward.

You laid back against the mattress, instantly groaning at how soft it was. You practically sunk inside. “Oh, damn this is comfy.” Rolling onto your side as Seokjin climbed on the bed, you hid your smirk. “I could just go to sleep…”

“I don’t think so,” he told you, hovering over you. His hand smacked you ass causing you to squeal, and you flipped onto your back as he took the moment to cage you under his large body.

This time his mouth completely bypassed your lips to kiss your chest, pressing into the indents of your collarbones before slipping to the tops of your breasts. He kissed the fabric, wetting it as his tongue traced the delicate flower petals and you gripped onto his shoulders with a moan as he encased one nipple between his lips, sucking gently, soaking the lace a darker shade of blue. “You drive me crazy,” he quietly panted, his hands reaching behind your back, arched into the pleasure he was giving you. “May I?” He asked, fingers finding the clasp of your bra. You nodded hastily, moaning louder when he lifted his head to kiss your lips. His motions were firm, tight pleasure filled grunts leaving him as he freed you of your lingerie.

Immediately he pulled away, dark eyes soaking in your bare chest like it was the most stunning thing he’d ever seen. Your back arched further when his warm palms cupped your breasts, spreading a heat down your spine that settled between your legs. “You’re beautiful,” he awed, looking into your eyes, causing a sweet moan to fall from your lips.

He moulded the soft flesh gently, before brushing his thumbs over your hardened nipples. That had you moaning again, pleasure you hadn’t felt in a long time rocketing up your body. It felt amazing to be touched by him, and you were greedy for more. He was on the same page, his lips replacing his thumbs, his tongue flicking against the sensitive bud that had you sighing out his name, your fingers threaded in his hair. He hummed against you, squeezing your breasts and pressing his body into yours – once – his erection pressing into your thighs, before he pulled away, kissing down your sternum before licking into your navel, his hands rubbing up and down the outside of your thighs.

His lips avoided your clothed heat, which was frustrating to say the least. You were so eager by now, unsure if you could take much more kissing before you exploded, but Seokjin was a man determined – determined on kissing every inch of your body it seemed. He made it down one thigh before moving onto the next and as he got towards your knee you couldn’t help but giggle – it was beginning to tickle, but he didn’t stop, lips pressing down your calf.

“Seokjinn,” you whined.

He chuckled as he made his way back up the other leg, bending you at the knee before gently getting you to spread out for him. “What?” He murmured. Although you were distracted now, realising how aroused you had become, your underwear clinging to you desperately. He was kissing the inside of your thigh now, fingers hooked under the waistband of your panties and he was so close to where you wanted him you were trembling. He nosed his way to the apex of your thigh, groaning as he smelt you and then he was hastily tugging the lace down your legs, the last of your covering. Now you were totally naked in front of him, and he looked like he wanted to eat you up.

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, voice gruff. He sounded so sexy. His eyes were glued to your centre yet he didn’t touch. When you didn’t reply, they flickered to your face. “Y/N. Hm?”

You mind was a blur, you couldn’t think what to say, mainly because you wanted him to do anything and everything to you. You startled when he nosed the inside of your thigh, his hands sliding down your hips to grip the flesh underneath. “Taste you? Is that what you want?” He whispered, sending your insides somersaulting. He looked up as you nodded, and grinned. “You have to say it out loud, honey.”

The bastard. He was teasing you. Trying to get under your skin. Your forced yourself to speak. “Taste me.” He hummed in response, pressing his mouth to your hip bone. You raised your tone, more determined. “Seokjin. Taste me.”

He dived in. Placing gentle kisses up your slit, his lips ever so slightly brushing your clitoris. You moaned quietly, letting your eyes close as you laid back against the softest pillows you had ever felt. Your fists clutched the sheets, hips raising up when you felt the first wash of his tongue. Your breath caught, warmth turning you gooey. “Taste so good,” he mumbled into you – so quietly you wondered if you’d imagined it.

You enjoyed the sensation for a few moments, quietly moaning intermittently before you felt the urge to take a peek. Opening your eyes and looking down your body, you saw Seokjin watching you, his eyes hungry. You quickly looked away, the back of your hand coming up to cover your mouth as a groan left you, your legs falling wider apart. The scene had been erotic but in all honesty you were feeling a little shy. It had been a long time since you’d had sex, so the idea of someone watching you so intimately made you feel funny.

Seokjin was there to reassure you though. “Don’t look away, Y/N,” he murmured, pulling back to get your attention. “I want to see your face.” You looked again, watching him kneel low as he ran a hand up your thigh. His lips shone with your arousal. He looked beautiful.

You moaned lowly when you felt him rub a finger at your entrance, and he watched you intently as he pushed inside, feeling you squeeze around the intrusion. He slowly began to curve the digit, pressing against your inner walls. Committed to pleasuring you, he watched your every reaction and this time you didn’t look away.

“Does it feel good?” He asked, in awe as you writhed around on the bed, chasing the feeling.

You moaned as you replied yes, only to jerk upwards when his thumb began to rub tiny circles against your clit. “Seokjin!”

He liked that. Hearing you cry his name. He wanted to hear it more, dropping low to replace his thumb with his lips. He sucked the sensitive bud of nerves between them, flicking the tip of his tongue against it rapidly, earning him another cry, and he moaned gruffly against you, the vibrations shooting up your body. His free hand moved to your lower stomach, palm hot against your skin as he applied gentle pressure, holding you down.

Oh god, you were a mass of pleasure, mind addled, unable to think straight. Not when he was making you feel so good. He slipped a second finger inside of you, his eyes flicking up to yours and you made it your life’s mission not to look away, chest heaving up and down as you squeezed around his digits. Your orgasm was building, pressure below getting harder to control – harder to ignore. Seokjin guessed it, breaking eye contact to bury his face further into your heat. The image was almost crude, so were the noises, but the most beautiful kind of crude. A crude that had you desperate for more. You jerked into him, rolling into each snap of his wrist, the pads of his fingers grazing your g-spot.

“Want to make you cum,” he rasped, before sucking your clit back into his mouth and sucking determinedly. You groaned, head flinging back into the pillow, eyes clenched closed, a hand coming out to grip the roots of your hair as you rolled your hips into his face, giving into the pleasure well and truly. This orgasm was going to blow your brains out – and it did.

In the end you had you to clamp your legs around Seokjin’s head in a bid to get him to stop, pleasure still rolling through your body as you panted like crazy. He eased from your clit, tongue dragging down your folds instead, meeting his fingers that were almost locked inside of your pulsing walls. With a grunt, he removed himself, kissing your mound one last time before he stopped. With his hands on your thighs as he kneeled between them, he watched you adoringly.

“Oh, my god,” you panted weakly. Unsure what else you could say to describe what you’d just experienced. Why had he not been doing that from the get-go? From as soon as he’d reversed into your car?!

That was all he needed anyway, your simple vocalisation, because no sooner had the words exited your mouth, he dived on you, kissing your mouth, your cheeks, your eyes, your forehead – whatever he could reach. “You’re amazing,” he gushed, his lips and chin still glistening with your wetness. You could taste yourself on him. It was glorious. His hands roamed your body like it was all new to him. As if he hadn’t been it for the last forty minutes or so. “Fuck. I can’t stop touching you.”

Your stomach flipped around, the sound of him cursing sending you dizzy. You licked into his mouth, kissing him messily, your hands raking up and down his back, before they settled on his ass. You gave the meat a squeeze and he grunted, pushing his crotch into yours. He was painfully hard – and desperate. (You hadn’t missed the way he’d been rutting into the mattress while going down on you…)

“Seokjin,” you breathed, moving your head to the side to get your words out. His tongue carried on going, swirling across your cheek. You liked getting messy with him. You tugged at his underwear. “Get naked. Need you.”

“You don’t need a minute?” He asked, tongue now in your ear. He gyrated his hips into yours, grunting as he did so.

You shook your head. “Like hell I do.”

He laughed at that – breathlessly, but it was something. He moved, rushing out of the last bit of clothing he had on, and your eyes drunk up the sight. The missing piece. His dick was long and thick – smooth and warm once you got your hands on him. Hovering over you, you ran your fist up and down him steadily, just enjoying getting to touch him. He dropped to your side, pecking your lips before he pulled back. “I need to be inside you.”

You continued to touch him, running your fingers along the rigid flesh as he stretched behind him to pull a box from the nightstand drawer.

It caught your attention right away. You raised both eyebrows as you let go of his length. “A hundred condoms?”

He chuckled, sounding a little sheepish. “Too enthusiastic?”

“Do you want to kill me?” Death by (Dilf) dick wasn’t how you’d expected to go, if you were being honest.

“Not particularly,” he shrugged, pulling one of the packet. (Discarding the box to the floor.) He turned back to you with an impish grin. “That’s why I bought the bumper pack of condoms.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing at his chest, but he grabbed your hand and kissed you, distracting you successfully. “No, if I’m being truthful,” he continued, letting you steal another kiss. “They were better value for money. I’m partial to a bargain.”

“You’re unbelievable,” you scoffed.

“You should’ve seen me purchasing them, I have never been more embarrassed in my life.”

“Seokjin, you’re a near 40 year old man,” you judged openly, however on second thoughts – “But yeah, I’d be embarrassed buying a 100 condoms too.”

Seokjin shuddered, looking mortified. “Just the thought of the cashier knowing I was going to get lucky…”

You arched an eyebrow. “Get lucky?”

He looked comically caught out, eyes wide for a second before he shook his head. “Less talking now…” And then he was kissing you again…

Between rushed mouths and eager hands, he managed to tear the condom packet, pulling out the latex to slip it over his erection. Kneeling over you, you could see perfectly when he attempted to roll it the wrong way up. “Oh, shit. Ignore that,” he muttered, fixing it immediately.

You stifled a laugh. “Ignored.”

He gave himself a tug, making sure everything was secure and your mouth practically watered. “Just warning you now, this may be a three pumps and Bam! kinda thing,” he informed you as he laid over you, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I am so turned on.”

You giggled, wrapping your arms around his middle. “I don’t mind. Just want you.”

“I want you more.” He rubbed his nose against yours.

Hitting his ass, you shot him a look. “It’s not a competition.”

“Isn’t it?” He asked, pretending to be confused.

“Quit stalling,” you whined. “Let’s have sex.”

“Let’s,” he agreed with a warm smile. You turned gooey instantly.

Pressing his knees to the mattress, he hovered over you, wrapping his hand around his dick to direct it between your legs. He rubbed the length up and down your slit, flesh heavy and hot, coating himself in your arousal. The sensation was good for you, but for him it seemed to blow his mind, eyes practically rolling back into his skull as he grunted. He stopped at your entrance, looking up at you as he slowly pushed the head inside.

You shifted under him, trying to stay patient. You wanted nothing more than to be stuffed full of him, but realistically you needed to take things slow. You held onto his shoulders, silently telling him to continue. He let out a strained groan as he slipped in deeper, your walls snug and hot around him, begging him for more. Inch by glorious inch, you kept on taking him, until you were filled up just right.

“Shit,” you uttered, looking up at the ceiling as you adjusted to the sensation.

“Was that a curse?” He asked, voice tight but greatly amused as he nosed your throat.

“Hardly.” Your voice was barely there, desperate for him to move.

“I’d still class it as swearing.” He was holding his breath, yet still felt the need to be a smarty-pants. You moved your hips practically a centimetre and he grunted. He didn’t want you to win though. “I want more. Maybe not tonight, but I will turn your mouth filthy by the end of the week…”

A moan tore from your throat uncontrollably, and you couldn’t look at his face because you knew you’d be met with a gloating smirk. You steeled yourself, nose in the air. “Game on.”

Seokjin laughed obnoxiously, but couldn’t wait any longer, slowly dragging out of you and then pushing back in. His breath hitched – so did yours, and he carried on, propping himself up with one hand as he gained a steady rhythm.

“You feel so fucking good,” he moaned, watching your face.

“You too.” You clung to him, feeling your face heat up and ended up dropping your gaze.

“Honey, don’t be shy,” he whined, reaching to cup your face, in the process pressing more of his body weight into you. You clutched him tighter, wanting him as close as ever. “I like watching you. Knowing I’m making you feel good.” His mouth on yours now, you sunk into the kiss, moaning softly as his thrusts got quicker. You met each one, rolling into him.

It wasn’t long before he was on your throat, kissing and nipping the skin, his hands exploring the rest of your body. Your ran your fingers through his hair, sighing sweety when his mouth wrapped around one of your nipples, slipping the hard flesh into his mouth to suck.

Face pressed against your chest, his movements became a little erratic, breathing heavy until he was panting. You moaned along, loving how he was making you feel. “You are honestly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He awed, voice raspy.

You let out a weak chuckle, running your fingers through the ends of his hair. “Of course you would say that with a face full of my boobs.”

He laughed too, kissing his way back up your chest, his hands pressing into the pillow as he leaned in for your mouth. You stared at one another for a little while, your moans mingling together, and it was the most intimate moment you’d ever shared with anyone.

“Good?” He asked. You were unsure if he was asking how you were or if you were enjoying yourself, but regardless, the answer was the same.

“Really good,” you smiled, running your hand down his chest.

His thrust were getting messier, less controlled, less strategic, so it was no surprise when he had a confession to tell you, kissing you once again. “I’m-I’m… close.”

He’d exceeded the predicted three pumps at least… “Hey, you can go a little harder,” you whispered against his mouth.

He grunted, slacking at your words but quickly got a hold of himself. Each snap of his hips got firmer and harsher, fucking – because there was no other way to describe it – you into the expensive bed. Your cries of pleasure came out stunted and unsteady, his own grunts louder now, gruffer as he chased his end.

“Seokjin –!” Your hands fell to his ass, holding him tight as he pounded into you. “Don’t stop,” you encouraged, which seemed to tip him over the edge – quickly.

“Fuck. Coming…”” His face fell into the crook of your neck, panting as he tried to keep moving, and then he froze, his body hot, partly sweaty, a long drawn-out groan sounding against your ear as he came.

You wrapped your arms around him, keeping him to you because in all honesty, you didn’t want to let him go. You could feel his heart beating against your chest rapidly, even after he’d partially caught his breath, and you knew yours was beating just as fast. You kissed his shoulder when he kissed yours, and slowly he lifted his head, turning to give you a drunken smile. He sighed contently. “That honestly beats any orgasm I’ve ever given myself lately.”

“I should hope so!” You burst out laughing, not quite expecting those to be his first words and he immediately joined you before hugging you tight.

You awoke naturally, light from outside peeking through the loosely closed drapes. Seokjin had his arm around you, his body curved into yours, and you could tell by his breathing he was still very much sound asleep. Proving your point, he grunted softly, rolling onto his back, his grip on you loosening. Carefully, you turned around to face him, taking in the sight of his sleeping form. His lips seemed to be pouted, eyebrows furrowed slightly – of course he had an adorable sleeping face. Of fricking course.

The bed sheets were pushed down, draped across his pelvis, one hip sticking out, while his broad chest and toned stomach laid bare. You found yourself smiling, insanely happy, wondering if you’d been a saint in a past lifetime – you had to have been. How else had you hit the jackpot? A kind-hearted, beautiful man with a banging body? You’d struck big.

Wanting to leave him sleep longer, you got up quietly, needing to pee, not worrying that you were butt naked, and as you left the bathroom, you moved to the closet (room) to fish for your phone in your purse. You’d left it there all evening yesterday, not wanting to be interrupted, and low and behold you had a bunch of notifications waiting for you on the screen. You got back into bed, getting comfy before you scrolled through them. Most were unimportant, news updates and social media notifications. You had a text from your mom reminding you to call your grandmother soon, one reminder regarding your phone bill going out tomorrow and then, from half an hour ago, a text message from your best friend. Why the hell was she up so early on a Sunday?!

Soojung (8:32am) Spill the details girl! How was Mr. Dilf 🥵👨🏻🍆💦

You snorted, pretty loudly, couldn’t help it, and when you realised you shoved a hand over your mouth, hoping you hadn’t woken your boyfriend (yes, it felt so good to finally use that word) up. You glanced over, but his eyes were still shut, a peaceful look on his face, so with a relieved inner sigh, you went back to your phone, wondering how you should reply. You had quite a lot to say, messaging her “the details” wouldn’t work. Maybe you could give her a summary? Until tomorrow when you could call her while Seokjin was at work. Maybe you could meet her for lunch. And who knew, you’d probably have more to tell her come then –

“Good morning, beautiful.”

You jumped when you heard Seokjin’s voice, his arm wrapping around you once more as he snuggled closer, encasing you in his body warmth.

“Seokjin,” you greeted, instantly shoving your phone onto the nightstand, face down. “Good morning.”

“Mmm.” He rubbed his face into the crook of your neck, burrowing his arm under the covers to touch your skin, hand cupping your waist. He was still sleepy, voice groggy. You settled into his hold, closing your eyes. With a kiss to the top of your shoulder, he spoke again. “What were you snorting at?”

Your eyes immediately flew open. He’d heard that? “Nothing,” you tried to reply casually.

He laughed, the throaty sound shooting up your body, leaving warmth in its wake. “Come on, something made you laugh.” He lifted his head, looking at you pointedly, plump lips pressed together, mouth curving up slightly. “You have to share, it’ll be rude not to.”

It took you a second to give in. “Fine.” It was probably time to let him know anyway. Soojung might try to kill you, but she couldn’t get you if you were gated in at Seokjin’s home… You reached for your phone and flashed the screen on, holding it out to him. “Soojung’s an idiot,” you sighed.

He delicately held the back of your hand, steadying the device so he could read the messages. A second later he was deeply amused, lips quirking before he let out a little laugh. “Has that been my nickname the entire time?”

“Maybe…” Amongst other things… They could wait till later though.

He hummed, trying to keep his expression casual, but you could tell by his eyes how amused (and smug) he was. “The emojis add a nice touch.”

You rolled your eyes, about to tell him to shut up, but immediately his lips were pressed against yours. He kissed you sweetly – which was all just an act. When he pulled away, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, tone arrogant. “So… how was Mr. Dilf?”

“Seokjin!” You exclaimed. This couldn’t be happening. He was just as bad as Soo and Taehyung.

Laughing loudly, he kissed you again, caging you under him smoothly. Your hands reached for his biceps, feeling them flex underneath you. “Was it good enough for a round two? Don’t expect me to keep my hands off you,” he told you, his fingers tickling your stomach as his face fell to your neck, kissing and biting the skin.

You began to laugh, squirming under him, but no matter how much you tried to free yourself it was impossible. “Stop,” you whined. “Seokjin, you’re tickling me!” He eased off with the tickling but his mouth only seemed to ramp up, his tongue licking up your throat. “You’re so sexy,” he groaned, meeting your gaze, and instantly laughed. “I love embarrassing you.”

You grumbled, realising you’d started to blush. “I’m not embarrassed,” you insisted. “I’m turned on.” Two could play at that game. Seokjin’s eyes widened comically, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

“Yeah?” He murmured, getting a hold of himself, mouth ghosting over yours. You nodded, dragging your hands down his back to settle on his ass. You could feel his dick rousing between your thighs. It was so easy to get him. He was like putty in your hands.

“You’re okay though, mm?” He asked, tone softening as he stared into your eyes. “Did you enjoy last night?”

“I thought that was obvious,” you informed him, but his tenderness didn’t go ignored. God, you were really lucky. “I feel so happy,” you grinned, moving to clasp your arms around his neck. He grinned too, teeth on show, and then you couldn’t hold off any longer, kissing him eagerly.

“Fuck,” he breathed, after you’d just licked a strip up his jaw line. His hands clung to hips. “I want you in so many ways.”

You gave him a dangerous smirk. “We have all week, I’m sure you’ll be successful.”

Groaning, he seemed beside himself, skin hot and sweaty, his hair dishevelled, falling into his eyes, cheeks patched red. Finally, he settled on a decision. “Would you like to shower with me?”

“Okay,” you replied instantly, your excitement already tenfold, and suddenly you were in his arms, rising off the bed to be carried (naked) bridle style to the bathroom. “Seokjin!” You squealed, clinging onto him tightly, but all he did was laugh. You could get used to this.

His walk-in shower was grand, practically a separate wet room – two glass doors leading inside and a marbled tiled bench to the left with two panelled windows behind it. There were two showerheads – one large one attached to the ceiling and the other jutting out from the wall. Seokjin chose the centre one, knocking it on and enclosing you both in hot water. Warmth radiated from beneath your feet too – heated flooring, of course.

You spent the next ten minutes wrapped together kissing, hands exploring one another’s soapy bodies. It wasn’t long before there was a very obvious erection bobbing against your stomach. “Someone says hello again,” Seokjin hummed against your mouth, nipping your bottom lip before he broke away and chuckled. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve been the cause of many an awkward boner.”

You laughed, hooking one arm around his neck. “I noticed.” Your other hand wrapped around his dick, the wetness of his skin making it easy to glide your fist along the veiny shaft. You gazed up at him, admiring the way he’d pushed his wet hair above his forehead. He looked incredibly handsome – so handsome, you were finding it hard to control yourself. “Was this one of your ways?” You murmured.

“Maybe,” he said with a smile, huffing out a little when your thumb grazed the sensitive slit across the head of his member.

“I have a better idea…” You whispered, pushing a little at his chest. “Sit.”

He obeyed, sitting on the bench while watching you wordlessly (but curiously), his eyes flashing when you moved to kneel in front of him. “Fuck,” he muttered, dick twitching in anticipation. You took him in your fist again, feeling oddly confident as you flicked out your tongue. It had been a long time since you’d sucked dick but you were more than ready.

You washed your tongue across the head, hearing him grunt above you, and encouraged, you took him in your mouth, sucking firmly around the tip. His hands instantly reached for your head, fingers carding through your hair. He groaned lowly, thighs tense, but when you started to jerk your fist along his shaft, he relaxed into the pleasure, murmuring your name.

“Okay, this idea seems better than mine,” he admitted, voice tight.

You hummed in agreement, vibrations travelling up his length which made him groan, fingers in your hair tightening. Taking him deeper, you washed and swirled your tongue as best you could around the thick flesh. Seokjin’s length was impressive, but you had all week to grow accustomed to it, for now, you had your hand, continuing to stimulate him with both that and your mouth. The water from the shower hit your back and calves, the heat beneath you making sure you didn’t grow cold.

“Should we go back to the bedroom?” Seokjin asked, sounding concerned, despite how good you were making him feel. A hand ran down your back soothingly. “Your knees will start aching.”

Pulling off him, a string of saliva that attached you breaking apart, you shook your head and ran your palm all the way up his length, twisting against the tip. He bucked into your hold. “It’ll be worth it.”

Seokjin let out a low growl, eyes dark. “Don’t say things like that.”

You smirked, spreading your saliva up and down him slowly before speeding up, concentrating on the head. Seokjin’s mouth was open, his breathing shallow, chest littered with red blotches, making it painfully obvious how aroused he was. You wanted to run your hands all over the muscular torso, mouth too – but that could wait. First of all, you wanted to make him cum.

“You have a pretty big dick. Has anyone ever told you that?” You purred, eyes flicking down to his crotch.

Seokjin grinned confidently, the hand in his hair reaching to cup your cheek. “You seemed to handle it very well last night.”

Oh. Heat exploded through your body, settling between your legs, and you took him back in your mouth, a hiss leaving his throat. He tapped your chin, gaining your attention. “Y/N, look at me,” he commanded softly.

And you did. You watched every bit of pleasure that flitted across his face as you continued to suck his dick, never breaking eye contact, even when he did; eyelids closed, face scrunched up as he came down your throat a few minutes later…

Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#seokjin smut #bts smut #seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #bangtansorciere #floralseokjin:writings #fic:mls

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thrndlngs · 3 years

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hey rose! (can i call you that?? sorry if that's not your preference) i may or may not have caught a case of crazy phat mad feelings for a boy and i was wondering if you had any cute headcanons about some of the MHA boys pining for a pretty fem reader?? i can't imagine this guy liking me back but i figure hey, if nobody got me ik pretty superhero boys got me AMEN lmbo no pressure on this request. hope you're doing well and things are okay in your world!! thanks love you!! first anon OUT 😌✌️✨💖

omg ya that’s totally cool!! i actually like that!!!! but omg, pls! i’m sure it’ll work out if not... hopefully these headcanons will help u out!!! LOVE U FIRST ANON!!!!!!!!

IZUKU MIDORIYA,

will definitely stare at the back of your head during class and imagine 700 different scenarios that could ‘possibly’ happen if the two of you ever have a conversation that doesn’t involve school.

keeps note of your quirks and tries to give you pointers on how to use ur quirk via crumpled paper airplanes in the courtyard or slipped into ur locker.

will always, always, always keep an eye out for you to make sure you’re okay - if he sees you crying he’s gonna embarrass himself and be like, “you think that’s bad? kachan almost blew me to bits.” and now the both of you are crying.

daydreams about u.

whenever the class is training at the USJ or anywhere really, he’s bouncing. like. literally bouncing on his heels in case something goes wrong, he wants to be able to intervene. not because he thinks you’re not capable of fending for urself but it’s because he literally can not bare the thought of u getting hurt.

he definitely draws ur names with a heart and arrow through it!!!!!!!

really admires u and tries to be really nonchalant about how fond he’s become of u so when the two of you do have a conversation it’s just like... gibberish. you know when he goes on those little rants and the words cloud around him and everyone is like??? midoriya wtf. yeah like that.

BAKUGOU KATSUKI,

explosive boy definitely doesn’t know he likes you until he goes to recovery girl and recovery girl has to explain him the ‘weird’ feeling in his stomach, the rise of temperature in his face and the quickening of his pulse is literally because he has a crush. on you.

and boy does this raging blonde flip his shit. him?? have a crush??? when he’s trying to be number one hero??? a distraction??? not in this lobby.

easier said than done.

tries to avoid you at all costs. like even moves his seat permanently so he doesn’t have to breathe the same air as you.

no because during a training the two of you are teamed up and this man literally holds his breath like he’s five because he doesn’t want to inhale your ‘germs’. but he grows up a bit and realizes that you’re actually pretty strong and can handle your own. heavy emphasis on the pretty.

so not only is he pinning for you but now he sees you as competition. so the initial plan to avoid you goes out of the window because he wants to one up you.

bakugou’s face is tomato red everytime the two of you spar and you think it’s because he’s mad but jokes on u.

takes a HOT minute but he’ll suffer in silence and just y’know open the door and wait five minutes for you to walk through it and then complain after.

sees you in the hallway and flicks you in the forehead and reminds you that he’s going to be number one. but later beats himself up because wtf? why didn’t he say something else.

will go out of his way to fix your fighting stances and then have a coughing fit. so he’s going to push through his feelings but it’s really obvious to everyone else that he isn’t being lowkey, yknow?

IIDA TENYA,

my favorite class rep. he’s going to be so obvious about it. like. he’s an open book.

will offer to help you study. makes sure your chair is pulled out every morning so you don’t have to do it.

will also let you board the bus first.

will also tense up whenever you look at him. holds an emergency class meeting (excluding you) to figure out how to handle this ‘situation’ and everyone is like... dude

he takes kirishima’s ‘show her you’re a manly man’ to serious and tries to show off. with his grades, quirk and his class rep status which you know isn’t working so he’s back to square one.

as bad as it sounds he makes a copy of all of his notes and color codes them based off of his you know ‘coding’ system and has it handy in case you don’t come to class one day or fall behind.

everyone knows but you. everyone also thinks that you would’ve found out by now since iida holds you on your own pedestal but! LOLKDSAJ

DENKI KAMINARI,

okay so.... this man... is so drama. he’s a clutz and obvious but he isn’t going to be direct. whether it’s because he’s scared of being rejected or because he’s not confident enough like bakugou and todoroki is unknown but anywayz

leans on the locker and tries to woo you with some words and falls. literally falls over. it’s okay though (in his eyes) because you immediately get eye level with him and try to check on him. it’s a win in his eyes.

is totally okay with the nickname ‘calamari’ but only likes it when you call him that. he tries to tell everyone that it’s a ‘you and him’ thing and gets teased abt it.

tries to include you in every conversation possible. he wants you to feel included in everything.

thinks ur like a walking goddess and that u should be treated as such.

he gets a little to excited around you so whenever the two of you touch he gives off some electricity and immediately goes on a thirty minute rant on how sorry he is.

makes you... a fucking... mixtape... with scribbled out hearts on the cover.

also... sends you songs to listen to but it’ll be like some random edm song and ur like”oh wow... love that...” and he’s like “ok cross that out she doesn’t like EDM.” and is DETERMINED to find out your favorite genre so the two of you have something to bond over.

changes your ringtone on his phone to the pokemon theme song because and i quote, “she’s the ash to my pikachu.”

isn’t so lowkey about his crush but??? everyone thinks he’s like?? just being himself?? so???

EIJIRO KIRISHIMA,

bro. this man... THIS LOVELY SHARK BOY.

is literally textbook definition of GENTLEMAN.

will not act on his feelings until YOU act on them because he’s scared he’ll overstep so he’s going to be like..... suffering in silence. but he doesn’t mind!!!!!!

holds the door 4 u. :)

checks on u 24/7.

stares at you in class and drools.

walks with you like everywhere. literally. like to class, to the dorms, back to ur parents, to the mall. everywhere.

this is totally a best friend to lovers trope.

whenever he’s got doubt he will turn to u immediately because he trusts u and ur guidance.

will even ask if u could spar with him (so you can a, spend time with him but b, because he wants u to be able to be the best version of urself u can be).

whenever something goes south he will put his hand out in front of u. always. and you’ll wrap your fingers around his bicep and he will melt.

i think he knows he’s like... fucked because you explain to him that although his ‘hardening’ quirk makes his skin... rough, he’s still pretty soft. and smells nice.

man... that gets him THROUGH THE DAYS.

TODOROKI SHOTO,

another clueless boy.

is very confused at first but after some hours of research he’s like oh.

and then shit hits the fan.

like kirishima, really values your input and actually goes to you for advice for two reasons: one because you’re sensible and honest but it’s more for the simple reason that he’s trying to see what you like and don’t like.

you start to notice some changes in his behavior. not drastic ones but enough to raise an eyebrow.

is more vocal in his conversations with you.

tries his best to improve his body language (ie: will face you with undivided attention and arms unfolded to look more receptive)

just stares at you in general to see what your reactions to things are.

like, in the hallway when ur talking to mina and the lowerclassmen says something stupid and the two of you scowl? well, guess what? now he doesn’t like that guy either and will give him a piece of his mind.

has your coffee order memorized so when ur staying up all night studying u have the energy to do so.

will sneak a protein bar and a water bottle in ur locker the day after those binge studying sessions to ensure that you’re you know okay.

#todoroki x female reader #todoroki headcanons #todoroki x fem!reader #kirishima x female reader #kirishima x fem!reader #kirishima headcanons #kaminari x fem!reader #kaminari x female reader #kaminari headcanons #tenya x fem!reader #tenya x female reader #tenya headcanons #bakugou x fem!reader #bakugou x female reader #bakugou headcanons #deku x fem!reader #deku x female reader #deku headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #( i really don't feel like i did this well buT I HOPE U LIKE IT FIRST ANON!!!!!!!#I LOVE U!!!!!!#if it's not what u want let me know and i'll redo!!!! )#: ̗̀➛ first anon.#( shoto todoroki ) / * headcanons .#( eijiro kirishima ) / * headcanons .#( denki kaminari ) / * headcanons .#( tenya iida ) / * headcanons .#( katsuki bakugou ) / * headcanons .#( izuku midoriya ) / * headcanons .

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agustdakasuga · 3 years

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Reflection Of You | Chapter 3

Genre: Historical!AU, Timetraveller!AU/ Different Dimension, Romance

Pairing: SUGA x Reader, Yoongi x Reader

Characters: Normal!Reader, Idol!Suga, King!Yoongi, Guard!Seokjin, Guard!Jungkook, RoyalAdvisor!Namjoon, Servant!Jimin, Servant!Hoseok, Prince!Taehyung

Summary: Confirming you were dating the famous Min Suga of BTS, you knew you were bound to make some enemies. But what you didn’t expect was to be cursed, leading you to meet a cold-hearted, arrogant king that shares the same face as your rapper lover.

Looks like you couldn’t deal with the negativity and the scary fans on your own. But you couldn’t bear to burden Yoongi further with it.

Chapter warning(s): threatening words, death threats, name calling. Mentions of someone getting cursed through fantasy dark magic. Please do not take it seriously and only read at your own discretion.

Ever since the news, things have been... eventful. Most of the ARMY seemed accepting and supportive, most. Some ARMYs have found your social media accounts and were spreading it around. While some of the messages were nice, there were still some threatening ones.

“Have you told hyung?” Taehyung asked. You jumped, the phone slipping out of your hands and onto the floor. Taehyung had come to go through some music with Yoongi and they were working in the room the whole day.

“You scared me, Tae.” You bent down to pick up the device, tucking it into your pocket.

“So are you?” Taehyung blinked.

“Tell him what? Exactly.” You sighed, continuing with your cleaning chores of the kitchen. Taehyung stopped you, gripping your wrist, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to let this go.

“You need to tell him. He can do something, or tell the company to do something.” Taehyung said.

“Thanks for your concern, Tae. But I can handle a few young girls without having to involve Yoongi. I don’t want him blaming himself again. It’s just social media, I don’t need it. Besides, this has probably caused a lot of trouble for the company already, I’m not about to add on more.” You said softly, not wanting Yoongi to hear.

“These aren’t a few young girls, noona. They’re crazy, violent. They aren’t ARMY, you know that.” Taehyung insisted.

“Whatever it is. It’s nothing dangerous. If things get worse, then I’ll tell Yoongi.”

“Tell me what?” Yoongi appeared. He blinked when he saw Taehyung gripping your wrist, you and him having such a hushed conversation, that apparently wasn’t hushed enough.

“Nothing.” You muttered and pulled your wrist away.

“What did you do?” Yoongi’s eyebrows furrowed. Taehyung shook his head, going to the fridge to get a bottle of juice before leaving the kitchen.

“I’m fine, Yoongi. Nothing’s wrong, don’t worry.” You smiled, knowing that Yoongi was still genuinely concerned for you. Drying your hands, you walked up to him and kissed the furrowed eyebrows with a smile.

“Take a break. We can continue cleaning later.” Yoongi held your hand.

“I’m almost done.” You shrugged. Yoongi sighed, giving in to you. His hands moved to hold your waist as he leaned down to give you a kiss on the cheek. Squeezing your waist once more, he poured himself a cold coffee from the fridge and left to continue working with Taehyung.

“Where was I...?” You turned to finish your cleaning. When you were done with the kitchen, you busied yourself by vacuuming the floor and dusting the shelves until the house was spotless.

“All done.” You smiled, happy with yourself. You sat down on the couch, looking back at your phone.

‘Why would oppa go for someone ugly like you?’

‘We know you’re just using him, whore. ’

‘You think we won’t find you?’

‘If BTS loses popularity, it’s all your fault. If only you died.’

With that, you decided to deactivate all your social media. You deleted all the apps from your phone, willing yourself not to think about it. Even if you acted unaffected, a part of you was creeped out by just how much these people can find out about you. Luckily, you had no family that they could track down and hurt as revenge.

RINGGGG

“Hello? Geumjae oppa?” It was rare but not odd for Yoongi’s older brother to be calling you. He owned a nice cafe in Daegu, being a chef.

“Hey, (y/n). Is Yoongi busy?”

“He’s in the home studio, working with Taehyung. He must have silenced his phone. What’s up? Can I take a message?” You went to retrieve a notepad and pen just in case.

“Oh... Don’t worry. It isn’t important, I’ll just call him. My parents told me what happened, and I read about it in the news, how is everything on your end?”

“Manageable.” You replied shortly.

“I understand. Even as his brother, I get some threats sometimes. Don’t take them to heart, alright? If it gets too much, you have to tell Yoongi. So the company can take action. Still, you should be careful if you go out. Maybe have someone follow you for now.”

“I will, thanks oppa. It’s a little shocking how they managed to find me so quickly. We’re just laying low now. I don’t want to unnecessarily stress Yoongi out even more.” You said.

“You’re always putting others before yourself, (y/n) ah. Oh, looks like I have to go. I’ll see you two when you come to Daegu.”

“You can count on it! I’ll see you, oppa.” You chuckled and hung up. Since you got a little sweaty and dirty from cleaning, you went to take a shower.

When you came out, you saw Yoongi sitting on the couch, sipping whiskey. Taehyung didn’t seem to be around anymore, his shoes from the doorway were gone too.

“Tae went back?” You asked. Yoongi just grunted in reply.

“What’s wrong? Why are you mad?” You stood at the end of the couch, putting your hands on your hips.

“How long were you going to keep me in the dark? About the fans finding your social media and harassing you, sending you death threats. Or how about that your boss had put you on indefinite period of leave.” Yoongi spoke. There was so many emotions in his voice, betrayal, sadness, anger, frustration. You sighed, looking away.

“Who told you? Tae?”

“Taehyung knows?!” Yoongi raised his voice.

“That’s what we were discussing earlier... In the kitchen. He saw my phone. Unintentionally, of course. But if it wasn’t Tae who told you, then who?” You asked.

“That’s all you care about? Well if you must know, Geumjae hyung just called me to tell me that some fans showed up at his cafe and he saw the comments on your social media before you deleted them. As for your job, your boss told me when I sent an official BigHit letter about the situation.” Yoongi explained.

“Those comments are just nothing but words. And with the job, I can just find another one. I can handle it, Yoons. It’s no big deal.” You spoke calmly, quite the opposite of him.

“Stop saying you can handle it, (y/n)! Stop saying it’s no big deal! I... Ugh...” He held onto his head in frustration.

“Then what do you want me to say?” You closed your eyes to take a deep breath.

“I know you’re doing this so I don’t feel guilty or whatever but you saying it’s no big deal makes me feel worse! It feels like I can’t even do a proper job of protecting my girlfriend, that she feels the need to hide from me just because she thinks that I can’t take it.” He hissed. Now you knew he was just saying things he didn’t mean.

“Yoongi, you know that’s not true.” You crossed your arms.

“It sure feels that way.” He replied. You bit your lip. knowing that speaking to him when he was in this state wouldn’t help the both of you. You would just end up losing your cool and screaming at him too.

“Goodnight, Yoongi.” You turned around and went to the room. Before you closed the door, you heard the door to Yoongi’s studio slam shut.

“Just great.” You sighed. After drying your hair, you put your moisturiser on and got ready for bed.

In time like these, you just needed to give him space. It was known that Yoongi didn’t express emotions well so he often said things in a fit of anger but he really doesn’t mean it.

3 am...

You hadn’t been able to sleep so you settled for a book that both Namjoon and Yoongi had recommended. The bedroom door slowly crept open. Yoongi stood there, teary eyed and red nosed. He looked at you with a slightly blank stare. You closed your book, standing from the bed to hug him.

“I... I...” His whole body shook.

“I can’t just sit... and wait for that dreaded call... that something happened to you. I can’t, (y/n). I’ll go crazy. I’m so f*cking scared.” He shook his head. You knew Yoongi was paranoid, he was always worrying about something.

“It’ll be okay, Yoongi. You’re scaring yourself.” You said softly.

“I can’t let you go.”

“No one says you have to. I’ll always be right here, Yoons. It’ll take a lot for anyone to drive a wedge between us, I promise you.” You kissed his temple.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I know I should trust you more and shouldn’t have made you feel weak or useless. It’s just, I’m scared too. This is all new to me.” You continued.

“We’ll get through this together.” He cupped your cheeks in his hands. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against yours. You grabbed a tissue from your nightstand, gently wiping his eyes and nose. Yoongi stood still, sniffling ever so often. You threw the tissues away and laid with him. If possible, Yoongi held you closer to him than any other night.

“Tell me about what you’re working on.” You changed the subject. Yoongi was always in the mood to talk about music.

“Tae’s mixtape looks like it’s coming along well, he has come very far in terms of putting his own music together. I’m gonna start working on the songs I promised Jimin and Jin hyung. ” Yoongi said.

“That sounds awesome.” You said encouragingly.

“Really? It seems that all I talk about is music. I’m even using my break to work on it.” Yoongi scoffed at himself.

“It’s your break, Yoons. You can do whatever you want with it. And I never get tired of listening to you talk about your work. You just sound so proud and confident when you do.” You confessed, blushing.

“Are you blushing?!” Yoongi’s eyes widened.

“Whaaaaaaat? I’m allowed to blush over my boyfriend. Geez. I didn’t think I would be confessing all my inner thoughts today.” You cleared your throat. Yoongi let out a soundless laugh, showing his genuine gummy smile, the one that you just love so much.

“You’re too cute, aegi.” Yoongi stroked your hair.

“Stop embarrassing me. I’m supposed to be the one to tease you, not the other way around.” You scrunched your nose, pulling away from his embrace to hide under the blanket.

“Okay okay, I’ll stop. Can you come out, please? I want to cuddle my girl as I sleep.” Yoongi persuaded. You slowly removed the blanket, letting Yoongi tuck you into the crook of his neck comfortably.

As you and Yoongi were getting ready to head to Daegu, Yoongi was told to pick up his fan gifts from BigHit. All fan gifts are sent to BigHit for security checks before the boys can collect them and open them at home. Yoongi drove one of BigHit’s borrowed cars, which is a Hyundai SUV, considering they were the brand ambassadors.

“Ready?” Yoongi asked, adjusting his bucket hat.

“Yeah.” You pulled your mask up, carrying two cups of iced coffee. You handed one to Yoongi while you locked the front door. After that, Yoongi used his free hand to hold yours.

“Should we have asked Sejin oppa to drive us?” You asked as Yoongi unlocked the car doors.

“This car was checked and approved by BigHit. The windows are also tinted so they wouldn’t know it’s us. And we use the back entrance.” Yoongi informed.

“Alright.” You got in. As you closed the door, Yoongi grabbed your hand, kissing the back of it. You smiled at him as he started the engine. You played music from your phone, ready to jam with him like you always do.

“Ready?” He turned to you. You nodded and he drove out.

“Now for a throwback.” You announced as you played ‘No More Dream’, much to Yoongi’s annoyance. You would play old BTS songs from time to time just to mess with him.

“Aegi, please.” He groaned.

“I want a big house, big cars and big rings.” You were too busy rapping his part to hear him. Yoongi burst out laughing, you rapping, especially to his songs, never failed to make him laugh. You were even throwing hand signs like he would do.

“If you can’t beat them, join them.” Yoongi shook his head, joining you in the song. He took the vocal parts while you took the rapping parts. Hearing Yoongi try to reach high notes killed you.

“To all the youngsters out there without dreams.” The two of you said Namjoon’s ending line together.

“I can’t even believe we had fans back then.” Yoongi chuckled.

“Hey, don’t shun the ARMY. They’ll love you no matter the era.” You scoffed with your arms crossed. You remember how Yoongi would come in after practice, looking so tired but still diligently picking out CDs to buy.

“I remember you bringing me your first album.” You reminisced with a small smile. Yoongi cringed.

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“Why? You were so cute and nervous. I think that was when I started to develop feelings for you.” You giggled. Yoongi had burst into the store, presenting you the signed album with a deep bow. He had turned so red and was so flustered that he spoke with a stutter. You found it adorable but what made your heart swell was the personal note Yoongi wrote for you.

“That’s when you had feelings for me?! Then why did I wait like 4 years to ask you out?!” Yoongi screeched in outrage. You just shrugged.

“At that time, you and the others were so unsure of where your careers would lead you, who knew what the future held. Starting a relationship wouldn’t have been the smart thing to do.” You explained lightly.

“Still, I could have had you by my side.” He grumbled.

“Whether I was your girlfriend or not, I would have always been by your side, Yoon. For you and the others.”

“Yeah but I would have preferred if you were by my side, as my girl.” He scoffed and you reached over to stroke his cheek lightly, not wanting to distract him from driving too much.

“But here we are. I don’t think waiting a few years has changed my feelings for you. Things happen for a reason.” You smiled.

“You and your philosophies... You know, you’re starting to sound a lot like Namjoon and I’m not sure how I feel about that.” He teased. You shook your head and rolled your eyes. As Yoongi drove past the front of BigHit, there were a few girls sitting on the floor.

“Don’t look.” Yoongi said, not even having to turn to you. But it was too late, you saw all the words of hate and anger directed towards you, Yoongi and the rest of Bangtan.

“I told you not to look.” Yoongi said softly.

“It’s inevitable...” You looked down at your lap. You hated that the rest of the boys were also getting the heat for this, they didn’t deserve it.

“Mr Min.” The security guard greeted as Yoongi rolled the window down. He opened the barrier for Yoongi to drive in. He entered the private, underground carpark to the BigHit building. He backed into his parking space.

“Hey, it’ll pass. Remember?” Yoongi held your chin and leaned in to give you a comforting kiss. You gave a small smile, wrapping your arms around his neck to hug him.

“Let’s do this quickly. Then we’ll go home.” He said. You hummed in agreement, exiting the car with him.

“Hey.” Yoongi greeted the stuff with a bow and you followed suit.

“It’s in the conference room.” He told you as the two of you took the lift up. Yoongi held your hand the entire time. You went into the empty conference room to see a stack of gifts there. What surprised you was that there was a small stack with your name labelled on them. You blinked, turning to Yoongi, who just shrugged.

“They’re checked for dangerous items. So go ahead.” He encouraged. You opened the first box, seeing a stuffed black cat that was dressed similarly to Yoongi. You giggled, shoving it into Yoongi’s face.

“It’s you. Lil meow meow.”

“Whatever makes you happy, aegi.” Yoongi rolled his eyes and looked through some of his gifts. There were nice, heartwarming letters in most of the boxes.

“Aww, look.” There was a nice fanart of a faceless girl playing with a black kitten, presumably Yoongi. It was done so nicely with watercolour, you couldn’t wait to display it.

“That’s you.” You pointed to the kitten that was rolled in yarn.

“Wow, I didn’t even think of that.” Yoongi said sarcastically. You slapped his arm. He read some letters while waiting for you.

“What?” You opened a box to see some few odd objects inside, not something one would give as a gift. There was also a tarot card inside, The Devil. There was no letter inside at all. It creeped you out slightly but it wasn’t particularly threatening so you just closed the box.

“What’s that?” Yoongi asked.

“Some nice notes put together.” You lied with a smile.

“Let’s go home and open the rest of these.” You told him. Yoongi nodded, placing the gifts onto the trolley that was provided and pushing it back down to the carpark.

“Min Yoongi!” Someone called out just as you reached the carpark. The both of you looked up but your reaction was too late.

“Ah!” Your first instinct was to protect your face, causing the blade to slash your arm. You crumbled slightly, face scrunching in slight pain as blood began to seep out. Yoongi’s eyes widened in horror.

“Aegi!” Yoongi was in shock. Before he could pull you behind him, you felt yourself fall to the ground, a sudden weakness taking over your system.

“Yah! What did you do?!” Yoongi screamed at this intruder.

“If I can’t have Yoongi, no one can.” She smiled as she met eyes with you. You laid on the ground, shivering. Your vision blurred horribly and you felt light headed. Was that what the box was earlier? Witchcraft? Does witchcraft still exist or does it even work? Yoongi called out to you but he felt so distant even as he hovered over you.

“Time to disappear.” She grinned and clapped her hands.

“Aegi! (y/n)! Can you hear me?!” Yoongi shook you.

“Yoon-” Your vision faded to black.

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

Drum it out - Harry Styles

a/n: hiya lovelies! im bringin an OC fic this time only because i had a strong vision about the girl and thought it would be best to have her as one instead of Y/N this time, but hope you’ll enjoy it regardless! Remi Devon is a baddie, i like her!

pairing: Harry x OC

summary: Harry is forced to find a new drummer since Sarah is about to become a mom, but no one seems to be good enough to replace her. It is until he meets Remi Devon, the woman who completely takes his breath away from the moment he sees her on stage.

word count: 7k

warning: NSFW content, some slight spanking

masterlist

“Don’t worry, you’ll love her just as much as I do!” Sarah smiles at Harry, giving his arm a gentle squeeze as they make their way into the small but cozy looking bar. Harry is skeptical, mostly because for him, no one compares to Sarah and if it wasn’t for her pregnancy, he would do anything to make her stay in the band. But he is so happy his two friends are starting a family together, it’s only that Harry is now forced to look for a new drummer as it’s getting harder for Sarah to keep up with the hectic lifestyle they’ve been living. Her bump is now pretty obvious and it’s only a matter of time until she can’t sit behind her instrument.

They’ve been trying to find someone to replace her during the second half of her pregnancy and at least the first year after she gives birth, but no one seemed good enough. Truth is, and Harry knew it damn well, that his problem was always the same: they weren’t Sarah.

Now she has dragged him to check someone out, a girl Sarah knows from years ago and who was told to be a mind-blowing drummer, though Harry has doubts about that.

“Sure will,” he hums, not too convinced about it.

The bar was previously a small theater, the seats have been taken out on the ground floor, replaced with tables and stools around the sides and a dance floor in the middle. The gallery is used as a kind of VIP area, this is where the two of them are right now, sitting at a small table in the front corner so they have an amazing sight of the stage where a local band is about to start very soon. Sarah said Remi, the drummer in the talk, is just a jump-in for the night for a friend, but it was a great opportunity for Harry to check her out.

“You know, she beat me at an audition a while ago. This super cool rock band was looking for a drummer for their mini-tour in Canada, because their drummer broke his leg and we both tried for it. There were still some people waiting to audition when she went in and she blew their mind so much, they just ended the audition right there,” Sarah tells him, the story still holds a dear place in her heart. She and Remi used to be close friends, but got a little distant as life took them to different paths. Now they are meeting up every few months when they are in the same city, catching up on everything since they last saw each other, sharing their equally exciting stories.

“Really?” Harry asks with genuine surprise as he takes his beer from the table and glances down at the stage. Everything is set up already and his eyes move to the shiny looking drum set at the back. It’s hard to imagine himself finding someone as good as Sarah, for Harry she has been the etalon ever since they met. But now he is forced to find someone even though he doesn’t want to, not even a bit.

“Yeah. She is the kind of girl that just turns heads wherever she goes without even trying.”

“You think I would get along with her well?” he asks, turning to face her just in time to see the wide smirk on her lips as she nods.

“I think you two would make an epic duo, H.”

“Alright, now I’m interested,” he smiles softly.

“She said they will play a lot of covers.”

“What kind?”

“You’ll see,” she smirks, sipping on her lemonade, a hand going to slide down on her stomach.

The dance floor is not packed, but there are a lot of people, seemingly most of them are here specifically for this band called Striped Shoes, Harry hasn’t heard about them until now but he is always happy to discover new music.

Soon, the lights go down, darkness falling to the theater, the only light is coming from the bars at the back. Then a spotlight turns on and a guy is standing in the middle of it, cheers erupting from the people as he starts playing the guitar and Harry immediately recognizes the song: Smells like teen spirit by Nirvana. Just a few riffs later all the other spotlights come on, each of them illuminating a member of the band and Harry’s eyes flick to the drum set where the only female on the stage is sitting, he catches her the moment she starts playing, the vibrant energy lingering around her almost knocks him off the stool even from this far away. Her hair barely reaches her shoulders, it falls to frame her heart shaped face in soft waves, the roots are a darker color than the rest that’s an odd shade of mahogany, but it suits her perfectly, Harry thinks. She has a few tattoos littered across her arms but not a full sleeve on any of them. They are on full display in the shirt that’s sleeves were seemingly ripped off, the fabric is raw on her shoulders. It seems to be some kind of old band shirt but Harry doesn’t recognize the logo on the front. Her legs are wrapped in ripped jeans and Harry is immediately mesmerized by how steadily she keeps the rhythm while absolutely nailing the song.

She makes it look so easy yet fascinating, her head snaps back a few times, a satisfied grin stretching across her lips as she enjoys the music, clearly a fan on it. She doesn’t miss a beat and flows into the next song that’s an original from the band as if the two songs were the same while she had to switch up the rhythm entirely through the transition.

Harry feels starstruck, watching this woman take the whole show, in his opinion, while simply sitting behind the drum set, playing like no one he has ever seen. She puts all of herself into it and that’s why she manages to outshine everyone else. Harry knows how hard it is for a drummer to get the same kind of attention as other members, but Remi makes it seem like it’s the natural, like drummers are the front people without a doubt.

When the cover version of Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin comes on, in a way more hard rock version, Harry almost fears the stage is about to catch on fire. The song already has amazing drums in it, but the band gave it even more attention, giving a chance for Remi to show how amazing she really is.

“So? What do you think?” Sarah shouts over the music and Harry suddenly realizes he is not alone. He managed to zone out on the drummer without even noticing.

“She is… amazing,” he admits truthfully, in complete awe of what he is witnessing. This is music. This is passion. This is exactly what Harry always looks for in musicians and Remi has a whole lot of it.

They push the short drum solo a little longer at the end and Harry watches as Remi finishes the song standing, playing so hard that with the last hit, one of her sticks simply snaps into two, flying across the stage as she is breathing hard, skin glimmering from the sweat, her hair a complete mess from all the head shaking she’s been doing, but Harry thinks that it’s the hottest thing he has ever seen in his life.

Sarah knows she finally found her replacement, judging from Harry’s look she knows he is a sucker for Remi so she just lets him enjoy the rest of the concert.

When they play their last song and they all gather at the front of the stage to bow in front of the audience, Harry finds himself standing as he is applauding the band, but especially Remi who doesn’t even know Harry Styles is now a fan of hers.

“Let’s talk to her, shall we?” Sarah suggests once they disappear from the stage. Harry nods, finishing up his beer before the two of them head backstage.

Sarah has been put on the list since she previously let Remi know she would be coming. She was ecstatic to see her old friend, however was not told that Sarah would be coming with someone else so when Remi spots the two of them walking down the small hallway at the backstage, she is surprised but not shocked. She knows Sarah has been working with him for a long time now, but she wasn’t expecting him to be here tonight.

“Hey! There you are, mama!” Remi jokes with a heartfelt chuckle as she hugs her old friend. “Already looking like a milf!” she teases, earning an eye-roll from Sarah.

“Rems, I want you to meet Harry. Harry, this is Remi Devon.”

Remi’s eyes meet Harry’s piercing green ones and for a moment, Harry feels his stomach drop. She is even more breathtaking up close, in her simple but very fitting outfit, hair pushed back from her face carelessly she is easily the first woman ever to make Harry nervous to the point where he is having a hard time to even talk.

Remi holds out a hand for him smiling warmly and he luckily takes control over his actions and shakes it before it could get awkward.

“Nice to meet you, Harry. Heard a lot about you,” she chuckles softly.

“Hope you believed only the best,” he nods with a shy smile.

“Oh, of course,” she winks and Harry swears he felt his heart skipping a beat.

“We actually have something to talk to you about, Rems. Do you have some time for us?” Sarah asks.

“Yeah, just let me wash my face and I’ll be right back. There’s a small green room on the left, feel free to wait there,” she nods and disappears a moment later.

Sarah and Harry move into the room as Remi told them to and just a few minutes later she storms inside, a new shirt hugging her torso, a simple black one, but it’s tight unlike the one she wore for the concert. She sits into the armchair while Sarah and Harry have taken the small sofa.

“Alright, I’m all yours,” she smiles at them crossing her legs. Harry knows he should be the one to bid the offer, but it seems like he is not finding his words just yet. But Sarah is quick to talk when she realizes Harry is at a loss of words.

“I brought Harry today because I wanted him to see you play. We are currently looking for someone to take my place shortly,” she explains, placing a hand to her bump. “I know you’ve been freelancing lately so I thought you’d be interested in working with the band and of course Harry.”

“Oh!” She seems genuinely surprised at the offer. “So this was kind of my audition in secret?” she chuckles.

“You could say that,” Sarah smiles.

“And how did I do?” she asks, eyes meeting Harry’s gaze that hasn’t left her face since she arrived.

“You… definitely passed. The best I’ve seen so far,” he tells her and the smile on her face is worth everything for him.

“So what does this mean exactly?” This time Harry answers, finally finding his voice.

“If you are not too busy in the upcoming time, I would love to have you as my drummer,” he states, handing her the offer on a silver plate, basically.

It’s an offer most musicians dream of, so Harry thinks she’ll accept it right away, but of course, Remi is not like others.

“I’ll be needing some more details before I give you my answer though,” she smiles.

And that, she gets. A few days after the concert Remi meets up with the rest of the band and Jeff to talk about all the details. She clearly wants to know what she is jumping into and Harry respects that. At the end she accepts the offer and as Harry watches her sign the paperworks, a huge wave of satisfaction and excitement washes over him.

***

The public imagines Harry as the picture perfect human being who is always at his best, never making any mistakes, but that’s far from the real truth. He is as flawed as anyone else, it’s just that not many get the chance to see him in this state.

His bandmates are among the few privileged ones that are bound to see all his ups and downs as well and since Remi is part of them now too, she has witnessed his bad days since they have started working together.

Harry’s growl is heard in the microphone when he is supposed to be singing and the music soon comes to a halt. It’s probably the tenth time he is messing up the exact same part because his head is just not at the right place. He knows he should be at the top of his game, not wasting his colleagues’ precious time, but he just can’t bring himself away from the heavy thoughts that’s been occupying his mind lately. There are days when he is as free as a bird, not a worry in the world, but sometimes everything comes down at once and he feels like crumbling under the weight of his own career.

“Sorry guys,” he apologizes into the microphone, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he closes his eyes for a few seconds to collect himself. The silence in the auditorium where they are currently rehearsing for tour is harsh, everyone is tired and they can feel the nerves creeping up on them about the upcoming tour and making sure that everything is perfectly in place for the first show.

Remi looks around from behind her drum set, holding her sticks in one hand and she doesn’t like what she is seeing. A group that’s always so happy and carefree is now just a big ball of stress, this is not right.

“Guys, why don’t you all wrap it up for today, I’ll stay here with Harry and help him get it right,” she offers.

“How do you want to practice without everyone else?” Mitch asks, not at all in an offending way, more like out of curiosity.

“I’ll find a way,” she smiles softly and he doesn’t push it further.

As the rest of the band is packing up, leaving slowly, saying their goodbyes Harry is sitting on the floor next to one of the speakers, head hanging low, deep in his thoughts. Adam is the last one to leave the place and once it’s just the two of them, she stands up from behind her set and walks over to the desperate man.

“Get up,” she orders, not in a bossy manner, more of a ‘do what I asked, I’m trying to help’ way so Harry obeys. Standing up he towers above her, almost a full head taller than Remi, but still, sometimes she can make him feel so small.

Harry has noticed that her energy is making her push the air out of his lungs sometimes, just the way she stands, looks, moves around a room, it’s making her appear like the ruler of everyone around her. He has often found himself just staring at her from afar since she has joined the band and even though she has caught him ogling her a few times, he just still can’t bring himself to stop admiring her. He definitely has a fat crush on the new addition to the team, however now his feelings are pushed aside, their place taken by his anxiety and worries.

She takes his hands and pulls him to the middle of the stage, putting the microphone stand to the side so they have some space cleared out around them. She then turns to face him, a warm smile tugging on her lips while he is rather curious about what she has on her mind.

“Scream,” she simply tells him, his eyebrows immediately knitting together in confusion.

“Wha’?”

“Scream,” she repeats, but he is still lost about the situation. She chuckles a little before taking a few steps away from him, twirling around her heels before stopping facing the area where the audience is supposed to be during a concert. “Whenever I feel like I’m locked, like everything around me is so suffocating that I can’t even function normally, I take a minute and just let it all out,” she explains before taking a deep breath and hunching over, the most eardrum-breaking scream bursts out of her, making Harry jump a little.

She holds it long, until her throat is cracking up and she runs out of her breath, then the scream dies and she takes a deep breath, filling up her lungs again. Harry stands there, completely stunned, thinking that if anyone heard her now, they are surely convinced she is being tortured here.

When she turns back to face him again, she is smiling as if nothing just happened, like it’s the most natural thing to randomly scream from the top of her lungs on a casual Wednesday night.

“Now it’s your turn,” she tells him, but Harry doesn’t feel like it’s gonna be his thing at all. But he still turns to the side, clears his throat and lets out a not too forceful shout that’s quite saddening compared to her scream. “Oh, come on, I’m sure you can do better, Styles,” she chuckles, hands on her hips as she tilts her head to the side.

“Is this really necessary?” he questions, eyebrows still furrowed at her.

“Very much. Now come on, do it!”

“Remi, I--”

He doesn’t have the chance to finish, because she screams at him, knocking the air out of him once again, making him flinch at her sudden action.

“Scream!” she then snaps at him.

“I don--”

“Scream!” she repeats forcefully and Harry gives up. Taking a deep breath he lets his voice out in a hoarse scream that’s way more vibrant than his last attempt. “Yes! Again!” she grins nodding and he does it again.

And then again and again, until he feels like his chest is completely empty, like nothing is keeping a tight grip on his insides anymore. He is panting, mind racing as he realizes how much better he is feeling now, meaning that Remi’s technique worked.

“How are you feeling?” she asks, smirking, her arms folded on her chest.

“Fucking awesome,” he chuckles out of breath, running his hands through his messy hair.

“Great. You think you can handle going through the song now without messing up?”

“I… think?”

“Alright, grab your guitar and I’ll give you the beat.”

She moves back behind her set as Harry grabs a guitar, throwing the strap over his head, turning to face Remi behind him as he places the microphone stand in front of him.

“I’ll go softer on the beats, you just do your thing okay?” she tells him and he just nods, fingers already on his guitar.

Kiwi sounds a whole lot different with just the drums playing weakly and only one guitar playing, but it’s not what matters. Harry finally manages to go through the song without messing anything up.

When the song ends and the music is replaced by silence, Harry can’t help the grin stretching across his face.

“I fucking needed that,” he sighs, his head falling back for a moment as the last bits of euphoria settles in his body.

“Want to go over something else?” she asks, turning back and forth to the sides on her stool, playing with the sticks, twirling them between her fingers easily.

“You sure don’t want to go home like the others?”

“Let’s see what choices I have. I can go home and watch an entire season of Love Island on my own, eating leftovers from two days ago or I can stay here, play music with a hot dude. I think I’m fine with the second option.”

Harry’s eyebrows shoot up at how simply she just called him a hot dude, his heart fluttering in his chest again like the first time he saw her play, only difference is that now her eyes are piercing on him and it’s just the two of them in an empty room. He is already having thoughts that should probably be pushed down.

“Did you just call your boss hot?” he teases her then.

“I don’t think you’re my boss,” she scoffs. “You need me here more than I need to be here, so I think I’m the one having the higher ground,” she points out and Harry knows she is so damn right. “Besides, I know you find me hot as well.”

He is quick to blush at her words, but that doesn’t stop him from questioning her.

“What makes you think that?”

“I see you staring, Harry. I’m not oblivious or naive. I know you like checking my butt out every time I’m fixing my set leaning down,” she chuckles and now he is certain his ears are a deep shade of red, he was caught more often than he thought, it seems like. “Also…” she smirks slyly. “If you think you hid your hard-on cleverly the other day when I played my solo, you are wrong.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Harry mumbles, cursing himself for being such a horny teenager around her, but he can’t help it. The woman is the epitome of everything Harry finds so fucking attractive, it’s like she was made for his imagination specifically. “This, um, this is a little awkward, but I’m sorry--” “Oh, don’t be,” she chuckles. “I’m just lucky I’m a woman and my arousal can’t be seen that easily,” she comments and Harry almost chokes on his own breath.

Did she just admit she has been turned on by him before? When? What did she think about? What was it that made her turned on? Harry needs answers, however he is not given the chance to get them.

“Alright, you can choose two more songs we’ll go over and then we are off,” she simply says, as if they weren’t just talking about being horny a moment ago.

“Uh, maybe Only Angel and, um, Lights Up?” he prompts, trying his best to regain his composure.

“Cool. Let’s do them.” And with that, she switched back to work mode without batting an eye.

***

It feels like the crowd will never stop screaming. It just keeps going and going, people are probably losing their voice, but the screaming just continues as Harry stands at the front of the stage, his adrenaline jumping to the sky, eyes roaming around the full arena. He throws a few more kisses, placing his hands to his chest one last time before turning around and heading off the stage, his eyes meeting Remi.

She is not wearing her usual clothes, instead, she is now sporting a pair of high-waisted dress pants in a lavender color, a white top tucked into it, her matching blazer thrown to the floor, she probably got hot the moment she started playing. Her tattoos are on full display and she looks just as sweaty as Harry feels. But still, for him she is a sight he would love to look at for the rest of his life.

Their eyes meet and she smirks at him, eyes glimmering from the high she experienced through the concert, it’s a feeling they all share every time they perform together and it’s clearly like a drug neither of them wants to come clear of.

“Good job, Rockstar,” he reads her lips saying and he laughs, winking at her.

Ever since their one-on-one rehearsal, things have felt to change between them. It’s like a barricade that’s been lying between them has come down and they are feeling much more free around each other. Secret glances, touches and flirty comments are their usual and they don’t care that the people around them are starting to catch on it as well. They love the game they are playing and neither of them plans on stopping it.

Harry stops at her drum set, holding out a hand to help her up and walk her off the stage, knowing well she doesn’t feel the most comfortable in her stage clothes and feels a little too restricted by the end of the concerts, but she understands that her style does not go well with the look they are going for.

She snatches her blazer from the floor and gladly takes Harry’s helping hand as he walks her off the stage, her Gucci boots feeling a little too tight at the moment.

“One of these days I’m gonna rip these pants off,” she jokes, pulling on the tight waistband of them.

“Just make sure I’m around when it happens, Darling,” Harry teases, making her laugh as they walk backstage, everyone congratulating them and the band following behind on their way.

“Oh, you’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

“Very much,” he admits without shame, the blushing long gone from his cheeks and ears. The buildup has changed his nervousness around her lately and he is enjoying the teasing and flirting all too much.

The whole team agrees that tonight’s show was exceptionally good and that it deserves some celebratory drinks. A few blocks away from the hotel where everyone is staying there’s a cozy looking bar and the rather loud lot occupies half the place as they flow in and start ordering their endless rounds of drinks.

Harry is sitting at one of the tables they have taken up, going strong with his third beer of the night, half zoned out of the conversation with the small group he is sitting in. His eyes are fixated on Remi’s figure who is standing at the bar with Charlotte, unlike every other female around she is not sipping on some kind of fancy drink or a cocktail, she went straight for the crafted beers the place had to offer. She has changed her stage clothes, wearing her usual tight black jeans and a sheer top with a simple black sports bra underneath it. Harry can’t stop his eyes from raking down her body, taking in every curve, tattoo and tiny detail about her and he thinks that there is not one thing on her he doesn’t find attractive.

Her eyes find him, a playful smirk playing on her lips Harry has been thinking way too much about lately, and she cocks an eyebrow at him in a way that yells at him: Like what you see, Rockstar?

As an answer, he just simply shrugs with a growing smirk until she turns back to Charlotte, who is still talking to her, she hasn’t even noticed that Remi was focusing somewhere else for a moment. Remi laughs at something her bandmate said and Harry wishes he could be closer to hear her voice, he has grown quite a liking to her laughter, he has been trying to crack as many jokes lately as he can just to hear it.

He takes his eyes off her just for a second when someone at the table asks him something. He mumbles his reply and reaches for his beer as his gaze shifts back to her figure, only to find that Charlotte is not gone and a not so friendly looking guy is behind her, clearly trying to chat her up.

The dude is standing way too close to her for Harry’s liking, leaning in to talk to her, but she keeps backing away, however he does not care about that. She is clearly not enjoying the exchange and when the guy reaches up to her face Harry is quick to jump to his feet, ready to go to her rescue. But it’s not needed.

Just as he takes one step towards the scene near him, he witnesses as Remi grabs the bloke’s hand before he could touch her face and with a strong and quick move, she twists his arm behind him, keeping the guy on his toes as he is trying to escape her deadly grip on his wrist, his hand pushing into the middle of his back.

Harry’s mouth hangs open as he watches Remi tell something to the guy in a not too friendly manner before letting him go and the man flees before Harry could blink twice.

“That was impressive,” Harry tells her, walking up to her at the bar. Remi just shrugs, gulping down the rest of her beer.

“I know some tricks.”

“How come?”

“Grew up with three older brothers, had to learn how to defend myself when they decided to attack me out of nowhere.”

“Three brothers? That must ‘ave been wild,” he huffs impressed.

“I surely didn’t have a girly childhood, I’ve always been kind of a tomboy,” she shrugs again. As a teenager, she often wished she would be like the girls in her class, but later on she realized how big of an advantage it is that she speaks the boys’ language so easily.

“I think it just made you… badass,” Harry smirks, leaning against the bar counter.

“Is that what I am?”she arches an eyebrow cockily.

“Definitely. A handful, but the good kind.”

“Oh, just be careful, Rockstar. I might think you are trying to get into my pants,” she chuckles and as Harry hears her laugh he can’t stop himself from taking it further. She is too intoxicating.

“And what if I am?”

Remi doesn’t seem surprised at his comment, not even a bit. She is clearly enjoying the flirting once again, but when she answers, he surely is the one who is surprised.

“Then I gotta say you are working way too slow. I’m losing my patience.”

His eyebrows rise, lips parted as he stares back at her, the words that left her lips pushing the air out of his lungs once again, he is done for her. Utterly and completely. He wants to say and do a million things, but then settles on just one simple question.

“Want to get back to the hotel then?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” she smirks and simply heads towards the door without another word spoken. Harry is quick to grab his stuff from the table and catch up with her at the exit.

The crispy night air feels a little sobering as they both step out of the bar, heading to the nearby hotel with rushed steps, keeping their silence but they both are grinning madly. When their eyes meet they can’t push down the laughter and Harry grabs her hand before he starts running, pulling her after himself.

By the time they reach the hotel they are both out of breath, adrenaline running high once again as what’s been building up between them since the first time they saw each other is finally about to bloom fully.

Remi pushes the button for the elevator and as it moves down painfully slowly Harry’s hands find her hips, pulling her back against his chest. His lips tease the soft skin on her neck, peppering kisses everywhere he reaches while his fingers dig into her skin under her sheer top. She leans against him, head falling back to his shoulder and she pushes her bum against his crotch, a whiny moan escaping his lips that makes her smile in satisfaction.

“Fuck, Remi,” he breathes out, eager to finally have her all to himself and make all his fantasies come to life. The elevator finally dings and as the door slides open Remi turns in his arms abruptly and grabbing onto the collar of his shirt she simply pulls him inside, hand snapping on the button of his floor and just as the door slowly slides closed and they start moving up, her lips finally crash against his.

They are kissing hard, eager to take as much from each other as they can, they are both greedy, wanting the other all to themselves, the heat of the moment lighting up the small elevator. His fingers rake through her hair, grabbing a handful of it in each of them while one of her hands slide down his upper body until it stops on the obviously growing bulge in his pants. Harry moans shamelessly when she gives his erection a teasing squeeze and she smirks against his lips, satisfied with how easily he reacts to her touches.

Harry melts into her, wanting to devour every bit of this moment with her, he is seeing stars when she takes his lower lip between her teeth and tugs on it. A hand flies down to her ass and he squeezes it hard without shying about how much he is enjoying touching her.

The elevator reaches their floor and once again he grabs her wrist and starts pulling her down the hallway towards his room. Her lips are glued to his neck when he is trying to get his keycard from his back pocket and open the door, but when he finally succeeds, they basically fall into the room, tangled into each other and the door snaps closed behind them.

He is quick to push her against the door, lips attacking her neck, nipping and sucking on her skin until he is sure a mark is left on her.

“Off with it,” she pants, her hands tugging on his shirt and they work with all four of their hands to unbutton his shirt until it flies across the room. Remi pushes on him, hands spread across his hot chest as they get farther inside the room. The bump into some furniture on their way, lips glued together again until they finally reach the bed and fall right onto the perfectly made sheets. They are both showing dominance so it’s a constant fight for the lead between them, rolling around until at last Remi ends up on top, strangling his lap. She straightens up and grabs the hem of her shirt, getting rid of it fast before she does the same with her sports bra, baring her upper body completely to Harry’s greedy eyes.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, pushing himself up until he wraps his arms around her, mouth meeting her chest, littering her heated skin with sloppy kisses until his lips reach one of her nipples.

“Yes!” she moans as he starts playing with it, his hands coming to cup her breasts, massaging them continuously before his mouth moves over to her other nipple, giving it the same attention.

Harry uses her momentary weakness and turns them over, his crotch coming in contact with her center as he pushes his hips between her legs forcefully. He kisses down her stomach before he leans back and works fast on the buttons of her jeans. The tight material hugs her legs stubbornly, but he is eager to get rid of them and he soon succeeds, leaving her in just a lacy black thong. He undoes his own pants in a heartbeat, pulling them off and throwing them to the side before he gets on top of her again, kissing her lips so hungrily as if it hasn’t been just a few moments since he kissed her last.

She whimpers under his touch when he moves a hand between her thighs, running his fingers along her clothed folds, her arousal already soaking the fabric. He doesn’t hesitate to slip his hand into her underwear, her juices wetting his wandering fingers and he teases her hole and clit playfully.

“You better not fucking tease me, I don’t like that,” she pants, her dark eyes meeting hers and he can see the threat behind her words, she is not joking.

“Then what do you like?” he breathes out, eager to please her so much, she’ll forget about everyone else she has ever slept with.

She doesn’t answer, instead, a devious smile tugs on her swollen lips as she pushes him off until she is able to move. Harry is now kneeling on the bed and watches as Remi pushes her ass up into the air, back arching perfectly, her thong looking so delicious on her round butt and when she pushes herself back so her behind meets her throbbing dick in his briefs he could cry from the sensation. His hands immediately grab onto her asscheeks, pulling her even harder against himself.

“Smack it,” she breathes out, glancing over her shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Do it,” she nods and Harry doesn’t need more encouragement, he lifts a hand up and smacks her ass so it leaves a little redness after it. Remi moans erotically, enjoying herself fully and seeing how much it turns her on, he smacks the other cheek as well.

“You are gonna be the death of me,” he whines and pushing down his briefs his erection finally springs free, he grabs it with one hand, stroking himself a few times while his other hand is keeping a tight grip of her ass.

Remi wants to see him naked, so she quickly pushes herself up to her knees and turning around her eyes fall on Harry stroking himself. Hunger fills her eyes as she launches forward, lips meeting his while her hands simply take the place of his on his length, doing the job for him.

“I’m on birth control. When were you last tested?” she mumbles against his lips before leaning back so she can get rid of her thong and Harry does the same with his underwear.

“Three weeks ago, haven’t been with anyone since and I’m clean,” he mumbles in a rush.

“I’m clean too. You can ditch the condom if you want to.” “I wanna feel you,” he pleads desperately as she lies back on the bed and he gets on top of her again.

“All yours,” she smirks, spreading her legs wide for him, the sight in front of him is easily beating any art he has ever seen, he thinks.

He positions himself to her entrance, but doesn’t push into her just yet, leaning down so his lips brush against her ear as he whispers into it.

“Let’s see if you feel just as amazing as I imagined.” And with that, he pushes into her with one swift movement, stretching her all the way until his whole length disappears inside her.

“Fuck, Harry!” she cries out, back arching at the sensation. He sucks on her neck once again as he starts moving in and out, fitting inside her so perfectly, he is convinced she was crafted just for him.

He is going fast and hard, their pants and moans completely filling the hotel room and they can only hope they can’t be heard by anyone right now. She circles her legs around his hips, the angle he is reaching making her toes curl behind his back.

“You feel so fucking good,” he chokes out, face contorting into a blissful frown as he is getting closer to his orgasm with each thrust.

“I want to be on top,” she gasps, already pushing on and this time Harry doesn’t hesitate to obey. He rolls to his back, pulling her with him so now she is on top. Her hands come to rest on his stomach as she starts riding her, circling and lifting her hips so perfectly, so breathtakingly that Harry could cum just from the sight of her bouncing on him, but the feeling is making it a mind blowing experience. His fingers dig into her hips as she is starting to move faster and faster, before Harry starts bucking his hips up to meet her rhythm as well, going so deep into her, he is having a hard time deciding where she ends and where he starts. They are completely merged together in one hot mess.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” she screams gasping, her head falling back as she doesn’t fall out of her rhythm, still being such a drummer even in the bed, dictating the beat.

Harry pushes himself up into a sitting position, wrapping his arms around her so he can push her naked chest against his, their sweaty skins sliding against each other relentlessly, creating friction.

“Scream my name when you cum,” he orders, his lips finding hers once again, but it’s a messy kiss, their teeth are clanking, noses are bumping together as they are both nearing their high.

“Harry, oh fuck!” she exclaims and with her next movement he can feel her clench around him.

“Louder!” he growls on the edge of his own orgasm.

“Harry! Harry!” she screams shamelessly, throwing him over the edge, a guttural moan bursting from him as they both fall out of the rhythm, satisfaction washing over them in waves.

“Oh shit!” she breathes out, lips against his as she keeps him close with her hands on the base of his neck.

“Fucking Hell, Remi. I think I almost had a heart attack,” he breathes out with a soft chuckle making her laugh as well. She pulls him into another kiss, but it’s way slower now, the hunger and greed taken by their pleasure, now it’s time for something softer.

When they fall back to the bed, arms and legs tangled as they are still trying to stay close to each other, Remi looks up at him with a tired smile.

“So, was it like you imagined?” she asks and he chuckles softly.

“A thousand times better. But now we have a problem on our hands.”

“And what would that be?”

“Now I’m hooked. I won’t be able to stop thinking about you, not that it hasn’t been the situation since the start.”

Remi chuckles shortly, pushing herself up enough so she can look comfortable at his flushed out face.

“Well, it’s a good thing we are kind of locked together for months.”

“I’m one lucky man, aren’t I?” he smirks, so full of himself before he pulls her back down, kissing her like they have all the time in the world on their hands.

#harry styles #harry #styles #harry styles smut #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x oc #harry styles x you #harry styles au #harry styles imagine

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foxxgirlvibes · 3 years

Text

He gets jealous of your friend

Characters: atsumu, sakusa, kuroo, tendou

Summary: your boyfriend feels a bit left out whenever your best friend comes into the picture

』 ATSUMU

Probably the most obvious about his jealousy

Feels like every time your bestie shows up he’s second place :(

Doesn’t even try to hide it he complains to your face

Your friend definitely amps up the affection to annoy him

Atsumu huffed loudly as your best friend arrived at the park. He turned his back to them ready to flop into your lap when suddenly you were standing and running away from the picnic blanket.

“Y/N!!!!”

“B/F/N!!!!” You fell into a fit of giggles as the two of you collided in a hug. Leading them to the blanket, you sat between them and your boyfriend.

“Why dontcha hug me like that doll?” Atsumu whined as he pulled you closer to him while glaring at your friend.

You turned to him, eyebrow raised, “we live together tsumu, I hug you all the time.” You offered him a bite of the cookie in your hand, “and you could hug me like that, yet you don’t.” He accepted your cookie, pout still etched on his face.

While you were distracted by your phone, b/f/n sent atsumu a smug smile and picked up a strawberry. They poked you on the thigh, “hey, y/n,” you looked up at them curiously, “the strawberries are so sweet, open your mouth and I’ll feed you this one.” Smiling you leaned over and let them feed you the strawberry.

Atsumu was glaring holes into their head, “jeez b/f/n, don’t ya got yer own s/o to feed huh?”

You and your best friend let out a laugh at his blatant jealousy. “See y/n, I told you he was jealous of me, you owe me $20” Rolling your eyes you took out your wallet, slapping the money in their hands.

Turning to your gawking boyfriend, you sighed, “couldn’t you at least be subtle about it.” He sputtered out nonsense, face turning red, you waved him off. “And you,” you glared at you friend who was still laughing, “feeding me is basically cheating, we both know that was gonna set him off”

Your boyfriend draped his chin on your shoulder, “doll yer not playin fair” he whined. “Why would ya play wit my emotions like that”

Running your hand over his cheek you placed a kiss on the top of his head, “it’s funny to watch because you know b/f/n and I are only friends.” You tilt his chin up to place a chaste kiss on his lips, “you’re the one I’m dating dummy, I love you”

The grin that you love so much returned to his face as he kissed you again, “I love ya too, even though yer mean.” You rolled your eyes and flicked his forehead, your best friend made gagging noises from their side of the blanket.

』 Sakusa

The hardest to tell he’s jealous

Doesn’t want you to know, he thinks it’s embarrassing

Gets upset when you ignore him for your bff

Literally will deny it to the day he dies

You had been texting your best friend for the past hour and a half. There was drama going on in your friend group and the two of you were going from the group chat to sharing your opinions with each other. Normally this wouldn’t have been an issue, but unlike most Friday nights, your boyfriend was home.

Sakusa was sitting on the bed next to you, he had been silent ever since you started tapping constantly at your phone. MSBY practice had been cancelled and he had been looking forward to spending the day with you. Which he technically was, but not in the way he wanted.

His eyes left the show he had put on as you let out a gasp and the tapping increased in speed. He wanted to lay on your lap and have you run your hand through his curls, but he couldn’t be certain you would stop texting to indulge him. He let out a soft sigh, “are you and b/f/n still going?” You nodded without looking up at him. His lips moved into a slight pout as he turned back to the tv, “oh.”

He startled as you let out a sudden string of giggles. Tilting your head up at him in what felt like the first time you showed him your screen, “look what b/f/n just said, they’re so funny I love them.”

He starred blankly at your screen, “yeah, they’re hilarious.” Lips pursed he pointedly looked away from you, to the tv. Sakusa was incredibly annoyed that you had ignored him for so long only to speak to him when complimenting your best friend.

You texted your friend you were gonna dip for a bit. Turn your phone off you looked at the grumpy man next to you. “Omi what’s got your boxers in a bunch?”

“Me and my boxers are just fine y/n.”

“Omg omi, your pants are on fire!!” You snickered as he gave you a deadpan state.

He rolled his eyes at you and crossed his arms, “there’s nothing wrong, go back to your texting.”

That’s when it clicked for you, he was jealous of the attention you were giving to your friend. Cooing lightly, you reached for him, pulling him down on top of you. “I’m sorry for ignoring you baby, there’s no need to be jealous.”

He huffed and pulled your hand towards his hair, snuggling into you as you began playing with it, “‘m not jealous, that’s a stupid suggestion.”

You smiled down at your boyfriend knowing that you were absolutely right.

』 Kuroo

Another obvious one, but not as whiney as Atsumu

Tries to impress you to get your attention

Will embarrass you with his attempts to prove he’s better

Your friend doesn’t know if they should be amused or embarrassed

You and Kuroo had been invited out to watch your best friend play a gig at your local bar. They’re band had landed they’re first performance and you had been excited to support them.

Running up to the stage, you waved eagerly at you friend. They smiled and and reached a hand down to pull you up on the stage. You gave a friendly greeting to the other band mates before giving your friend a bear hug.

“B/f/n I’m so happy for you!!! This is sooo cool.” At this point you were gushing and singing their praises. Your friend matched your enthusiasm walking you around the stage and explaining the set up.

Your boyfriend huffed from the bottom of the stage as you and your friend walked back over. He reached for your hand to help you off and pull you back towards him. “Congrats on the gig b/f/n, can I have my s/o back now?”

Rolling their eyes they turned to you, “hey, cheer extra loud when we play your song.” They smiled as you nodded eagerly. “There now you can take your precious s/o,” b/f/n gave Kuroo a smug smile before heading back to their band mates.

“You know if you wanted a song I can serenade you at karaoke when their set is over.”

Eyes widening you ignored his suggestion before pulling Kuroo over to the table that had been reserved for you. Sure you loved him, but he couldn’t sing for shit.

The performance was going great, then the music changed and you squealed recognizing it as your favourite. Kuroo glanced over at you as you grinned and waved up at b/f/n. What was so great about them? So what they were in a band, you played this song enough he knew all the words. If you wanted it sung to you he could do it.

And do it he did.

You looked up at your boyfriend as he stood from his seat, “babe what are you doing?” The only response he gave you was a lazy smile before he started belting out the lyrics to your favourite song, terribly off pitch and loudly.

B/f/n stifled a laugh at the scene as you glared daggers at them and your boyfriend. Kuroo kept singing his heart out as you face planted into the table, praying the lights were dim enough that no one would be able to see you. After what felt like an eternity the song finished and Kuroo sat back down next to you.

“See, wasn’t that better than whatever b/f/n had going on up there. I’ll sing for you whenever you want baby.” He slung his arm over you shoulder looking very pleased with himself.

You peaked out at him from your arms, “Who lied to you and told you that you were the next Micheal Jackson?” He whined in protest as you continued, “Out of all the ways to process your jealousy you do this.” Waving a quick goodbye to your friend, you dragged Kuroo out of the bar and headed home.

』 Tendou

Not vocal about it but you can see it in his body language

Would hate for you to think that he wants to control who you hang out with

Once you realize he’ll reluctantly admit to it but feels bad

Just needs some reassurance

Tendou sighed as he watched your story again. It was of you and your best friend at the club for their birthday, an outing which you had excitedly rambled to him about for the past few days. He knows that he shouldn’t be bothered, the two of you have been friends for longer than he’s known you. But that doesn’t help the pit in his stomach seeing you dancing on them.

The sinking feeling hasn’t left him since your best friend had arrived at the door and whisked you away with little more than a quick acknowledgment. The both of you in coordinating outfits, telling him not to wait up.

You love him, he knows that, yet his heart squeezes terribly at every new addition to your story. He shook the thought from his mind and turned his phone off, dropping his head into his hands. He was being ridiculous, if you wanted to date your best friend you wouldn’t have moved in with him.

As he wallowed in self doubt, he missed the sound of the door opening as you slipped into your apartment quietly, to ensure you wouldn’t wake him if he was asleep. You were shocked to see your boyfriend on the couch gripping his hair. “‘Tori?” you approach him carefully, “what happened sweetheart?”

He tensed suddenly before looking up at you with a shaky smile, “hi love, how was the club?” He reached out and grabbed your hands.

You fixed him with a stern look, “satori, you can’t lie to me.” Hands still intertwined, you reached up to cup his cheek, stroking it with your thumb. “What’s going on in that brain of yours?”

Sighing he closed his eyes and leaned into your hand. He was silent for a moment before speaking softly, “it’s stupid,” you shook your head and smiled up at him, giving him the confidence to continue, “I dunno... I just- felt kinda upset seeing you have so much fun with b/f/n. You guys are just friends and you love me, I know that, but you always just look so happy with them and I don’t know if I make you feel like that.”

You looked at him for a minute before peppering kisses on his face, “I love you both but I would rather eat dirt than date that idiot, we’re so close they’re like a sibling to me.” He gave you a watery smile as you continued, “and you can ask b/f/n yourself if you don’t believe me, but you make me so happy. You’re literally my favourite person ever.”

He tackled you onto the couch with a hug, “you’re my favourite person ever too y/n!!”

You laughed, running your hands through his hair, “you wanna cuddle and watch a movie?” He nodded enthusiastically as you handed him the remote, placing a kiss on his hair.

This is my first preference so hoping it’s okay. As someone who had an ex be jealous of my best friend I thought this would be fun to write.

Have a wonderful day!!!

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juletheghoul · 3 years

Text

Oblivius Chapter 3

So... more pain... yay!

I've become obsessed with these two in a very short time and I decided I'll just put out Chapters as I write them. Enjoy! <3

(Also - conveniently, Tom doesn't exist lmao)

Likes & reblogs are appreciated

Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Pairing: Frankie x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: Angst, yearning, 18+ language, (Please let me know if I forget anything)

Masterlist Series Masterlist Part 2

-------

Age: 17

“Hey! Don’t slam the door Spills - you know she’s… delicate.” He patted the dashboard affectionately as you put your seat-belt on - carefully so as not to drop the breakfast you’d brought for both of you. You stared at him incredulously.

“You mean this rustbucket?” You laughed as he carefully pulled out of your driveway.

“Don’t say that about her, she’s perfectly fine.” He turned on the radio and you heard the same song it always played.

“Really Francis? Queen again?” You sighed as you put the buttery half of your bagel into his mouth.

“Okay first of all, this song is amazing and it applies and secondly - the tape is stuck so it’s this or silence.” You could see the smile as he ate happily.

He never said it, but he treasured this time with you. You always gave him half of whatever you made and it always tasted better than anything he ever made himself. It was one of his favourite rituals, the little moment before the school day started. When it was just the two of you, lost in your own world; speaking your own language.

**Present day**

Who the hell is that?

The woman in the reflection wasn’t you, well - she certainly didn’t look like you anyway. She was much to wan - something was weighing her down, heavy on her shoulders. Her eyes were puffy and it looked like she’d been crying.

She was looking back at you, confused - she didn’t recognize herself either.

God I need to shower.

It helped but only a bit. At least your hair was clean, but that wasn’t going to be enough for tonight. There was no fucking way you were going to let them pick you up in this state. You had to look perfect - you had to look your best. Some delusional little corner of your mind reminded you that Frankie had feelings for you before, maybe you could tap into that somehow.

That’s a little fucked up, he’s engaged.

You ignored that thought as you picked out a flattering outfit and tried to work a miracle with your makeup. The reflection smiled back at you now, and you could almost recognize her - the sadness was still there but you were ignoring that too. There would be no room for sadness tonight.

“Hi! So glad you came out with us, you look lovely!” Claudia greeted you when you got into Frankie’s truck. Same truck you’d been getting into since you were a teenager, same truck he refused to get rid of because ‘shouldn’t fix what isn’t broken’. You saw the look Frankie gave you in the rear-view, saw his eyes quickly flash towards the exposed skin of your legs and a cruel little part of you soared at that. Got you it seemed to say.

“You look great Spills, Benny is going to eat you up.” He said it playfully but you heard the slight tinge of bitterness. Claudia didn’t notice.

“Oh yes, Benny is going to be all over you. They’re all going to love you, Will and Santi. I know they will.” Even her voice was sweet and you couldn’t help that it pissed you off how nice she was.

“Who’s Benny? Or Will or Santi for that matter?” The names meant nothing to you.

“Army buddies.” You knew him well enough to sense there was something that was bothering him, could it be the thought of his army buddies liking you? Your ego definitely liked that idea.

“They can be a little rough around the edges, but they’re sweet. Benny and his brother Will, even Santi. You’ll love them.” She was smiling at you, beaming.

We’ll see about that.

---

It made you a little sad when Frankie held the door open for the two of you as you walked into the bar. Nothing had changed, you knew that if you went to the last booth your combined initials would still be carved into the table. You knew that the second last stool was wobbly and if you sat there when you were too drunk, you’d fall and eat shit.

This is going to be fun.

Blessedly- thankfully- you did not sit at the last booth. When you walked in there had been a loud chorus of what you thought was the word ‘catfish’ which confused you profoundly, that is until you noticed Frankie laughing. They call you catfish? The people calling had slid a couple of tables together in the middle of the large room and had started the party without Frankie it seemed.

His smile was genuine when they greeted him and despite how you felt, despite how hurt you were that it wasn’t you on his arm - merging his home life with this army family he’d made - his happiness was lovely to behold. That smile, in this place was home. The bare bulbs hanging in this dingy bar, bathing him in golden light - seeing him like this made you ache, made you want to run your fingers through his hair. Made you want to kiss the little bald patch in his facial hair.

They all greeted Claudia and the spell was broken; it was almost overwhelming how much it hurt that it wasn’t you.

It should be me, it should have always been me.

“Okay okay - settle down, meet my best friend in the whole world. This is Spills.” He placed his hand at the small of your back - just barely - to bring you forward and they all smiled warmly at you.

“It’s nice to meet you - we’ve heard a lot about you.” A ruggedly handsome man with greying hair walked over to you and shook your hand warmly. He gave you a wink that suggested he knew more about you than you would have liked. “I’m Santi - but everyone calls me Pope.”

You went around as they all introduced themselves, a beautiful blond man named Will who called you sweetheart and gave you a -very welcome- lingering hug.

“Hey, I’m Benny - “ Frankie cut him off.

“Benny - behave please.” Frankie’s face was all smiles but you recognized the tone.

“I’m okay Francis. I can take care of myself.” You smiled at him sweetly and you shook Benny’s hand.

“Yeah Francis, let the lady speak for herself. It’s nice to meet you.” He smiled and guided you to sit beside him. You chanced a glance back at Frankie and you thought you caught a look of recognition between him and Pope but you couldn’t dwell on that. Your emotional attachment to Frankie could have been warping your perception of everything.

I’m seeing what I want to see.

---

Benny was chatty, he was sweet and a couple of years younger and you could tell he was a bit wild. Will - who you learned was his brother sat with the two of you and you learned about their childhoods, what had led them to join the army. You learned that Benny liked to box, which was strangely fitting and you learned that Frankie was one hell of a pilot.

At times you could almost ignore the rocks in the pit of your stomach, when Benny laughed and threw his arm around you. It felt nice to have someone pay attention to you this way, even if you weren’t exactly on the same wavelength. A little flirting couldn’t do any harm though and so you let it happen. You smiled sweetly and left his arm in place.

“So why do you guys call him Catfish?” The nickname was strange, he’d always been Frankie or Francis - Francisco when you were angry.

“Isn’t it obvious? Looks like a catfish with those ridiculous whiskers.” Will was laughing and when you looked back at him you found his gaze already fixed on you. On the closeness between you and Benny, you could see the way his eyes narrowed slightly.

Are you jealous right now? You’ve gotta be kidding me.

You could feel your blood boiling, was it all in your head? Were you just hoping that he’d be jealous of… what? Nothing was happening. Benny was cute, sure - but you didn’t want him.

I want you, you idiot.

Suddenly it was too much. You couldn’t be there surrounded by this part of his life that didn't include you. Pope walked over to the three of you as you got up - you needed to get out.

“Just going to grab some air - be back in a few.” You smiled as best you could, Will asked if you needed company, you declined politely.

The cool night air enveloped you when you opened the door - it helped a lot. There was a group of tables with ashtrays just outside the bar and you chose one of the empty ones. There was a gorgeous breeze out, you hadn’t realized how stuffy and suffocating it was inside.

Maybe it's just your brain.

“You okay Spills?” His voice crept down your spine.

“Yep - all good. You?” You could hear him approaching you, felt him sit next to you but you couldn’t look at him.

“I’m okay.” He sat beside you quietly, bumping his shoulder to yours. “What did you think of my friends?” You ignored his tone, somehow hopeful and bitter at the same time.

“They’re really nice, Benny and Will are sweet - Santi seems a little broody.” He laughed and you looked over at him - his big smile brought out your own.

“Just wait - once he’s comfortable around you he’ll never shut up. Those guys have been with me through a lot.” You kept forgetting that there was so much about his time away that you didn’t know. Things Claudia knew.

“You want to talk about it?” You bumped his shoulder back, knowing that sometimes he just needed to be asked. He looked at you strangely then, almost like he had just recognized you.

“Spills-” The door burst open with a loud laugh and Claudia came looking for him.

“Hey babe! Come on, they're making a toast.” She was all breathless smiles, wine dark lips and the end of your moment with him. He sighed loudly, a big smile on his face for her.

“Another time, let's go inside.” he said back to you as he walked towards her, towards Claudia and away from you.

--------------

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#pedro pascal #frankie x reader #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales x you #triple frontier #francisco catfish morales #frankie x f!reader #pedro pascal fic #frankie x female reader #frankie morales x reader #frankie x you #oblivius

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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

Text

Never get to hold you | Lee Haechan

Lee Haechan x female!reader x Lee Jeno

▸ Fluff, smut, angst? Haechan is poor ▸ Part of To All the Members I’ve Loved Before: Dear 127, hosted by me

Summary: Growing up in a fucked up household, Haechan has always been thankful for his friend Jeno for treating him like his real brother. From giving him food, to letting him stay in their big house, to lending him money for school. Jeno has always been an angel. Until one day, Haechan found another angel, you. Finally his life is now brighter than ever… but not for long, because Jeno likes you too. Will Haechan let this once in a lifetime love slip and give you to his true friend who’s always been nice to him? Or will he be selfish?

Work count: 6k flat amazing

Warnings: Smut, toxic household, mentions of parents fighting, Haechan is poor here, if you are not okay with the idea please click away. Unprotected sex, couch sex, mentions of rough sex, overstimulating, Haechan smoked one cigarette, mentions of alcohol, alcohol consumption, mentions of Haechan’s sister, break up, slight cheating? but not really A/N: Pure fiction. Haechan’s character here is inspired by Justin Fooley from 13 reasons why. And the friendship is inspired by Bryce and Justin’s friendship. hehe. Originally this is a cheating au, but I’ve been writing a lot of cheating au so.... lets do the right thing for now. HAHA. also I did not include a lot of smut just because it doesn’t fit the story so i hope you understand that and still enjoy reading this. <3

A peaceful night that’s what Haechan longs for. A night free from the screaming and shouting of his parents, the glass shattering and never-ending blaming. He turns the volume up of the song he’s listening to from his mp3 player, closed his eyes, and tried sleeping. It’s not calming or whatsoever but it’s better than hearing the bickering.

For Haechan, sleep does not fix anything but it sure does make him feel better once he wakes up and finally faces another fun day in school. Yes. That’s right, Haechan loves going to school for it makes him feel like he’s a normal person. Not everyone in school knew how fucked up his life is and that’s another thing why he loves going to school. School and his friends have been his escape.

“You’re coming tonight right?” Jeno sneaks from behind and swings an arm on his best friend.

“Of course I’ll be there. I have to drive your drunk ass home-“ Haechan jokes but he was soon interrupted by something so unfortunate.

His shoes gave up on him.

“I think I should go and get this fixed before class starts. Not again,” Haechan said, stopping to remove his worn-out shoes and check them further while Jeno watch him.

“I have my Balenciaga shoes in my locker I don’t use that anymore. If you don’t want to keep it or accept it, at least use it for the day,” Jeno smiles at his friend and pats his back. But before Haechan could even say no to his best friend, Jeno is long gone for the school bell rang already.

Every since Haechan is new in town, Jeno has been a good friend to him. Both very different boys but they are brothers by heart and got each other’s back. For Haechan, Jeno is an angel to which he almost feels bad for not giving something in return for all the things Jeno gave him. Not just material things but Jeno offers financial help to Haechan too, in fact, Jeno is the reason why Haechan’s mother got a job at a store Mrs. Lee owns.

So you see, being a loyal and true friend is the only thing Haechan can give in return for now.

After school, Haechan fixed his wretched shoes before going to his part-time job. There, while he looks over the convenience store, he does his homework on the side and makes sure that he studies in advance so he can get closer to the college and scholarship that he’s aiming for and finally get out of this hell hole.

“You like studying so much?”

A voice made him drop his pen and went to work immediately. Punching the cashier and putting the stuff you bought in a plastic bag with a shy smile. A shy smile that miraculously lights up your day, he’s like a sun you thought.

“College. You’re new here right? I saw you earlier with the student body president. I’ve been there, being new in town will get easier... with the right people” Haechan says.

“Well, I had a bad first day, but thank you.... Hyuck. It’s great to know that eventually, everything will get better ” you read his name tag and smiled so sweetly at him. Oh, you wish it’s not obvious that you’re flirting.

When you left you’re all he could think of. He can’t stop thinking about your smile, how it’s obvious that you’re flirting with him but he thinks you’re so cute rather than flirty, he even beats himself up for not asking your name and making you stay longer.

As he walks his way home under a quiet night and with nothing in his head but your smile, he replays his only memory of you in his head while smiling alone and looking like a complete idiot. But when he was just a few walks from his house, he hears the screaming and shouting again.

He ran towards the door and straight to his sister’s room, not giving a fuck about why his parents are fighting. He hugs his little sister who’s in tears and basically shaking from fear, keeping her close to him to let her know that he is here now. And this is the sadness and reality he had to face every day.

“You scared?” He whispers but his face shows no fear to show his sister that his big brother is ready to protect her.

“Where were you?” She whines and snuggles to her brother more.

“I was at work, sorry. You know something wonderful happened to me today,” Haechan ready himself to tell his sister how you two met for the first time. She has always loved Hyuck’s stories and she’s always interested in the people his brother is friends with, especially Jeno.

“Well, why didn’t you ask her name? Will you see her again?” She asks eagerly. “I want more stories about her, she sounds sweet even though your conversation was too short”

“Yeah I know. Maybe I can talk to her by Monday and tell her, ‘hey my little sister wants us to be friends’” he jokes.

And so the night went on, exchanging stories with his sister until his parents stopped fighting and eventually his sister fell asleep in his arms. To be honest, he didn’t want to leave his sister alone after what happened tonight, but he promised Jeno that he will be there so he needs to be there.

Going to Jeno’s birthday celebration in a bar downtown is the last thing he wants to do after having a hard night. The bar was loud, packed, and it’s giving him a headache. So he promised himself that he will stay here for half an hour only, which did not happen because his heart feels heavy.

So he went out to have a cigarette and to clear his mind, having a debate with his conscience whether he’s going back in or not.

“The answer is no,” you said from behind which made him turn immediately and face you. “I’m watching you for a few minutes already and your feet is obviously hesitating to go back inside”

“It’s that obvious? Am I really that easy to read?” he takes one final hit from his cigarette before he throws it away. You nod with a smile to answer his question. It’s obvious that you’re happy to see each other again. “Why aren’t you inside? It’s cold out here,” he would give you his jacket if only he’s wearing one right now but he’s not.

“Everyone is loud inside and I feel like I’ve had enough of the screaming and overflowing booze, you know?” You answered awkwardly. Little did you know that Haechan feels the exact same thing. “But I should probably go and not ruin the silence here too so-“

“I can’t stop thinking about you” Haechan finally blurted out. He didn’t mean to but those are the words that came out from his mouth the moment he saw you turn and was about to walk away. “I don’t even know your name but my sister thinks your cool” he added, trying to sound fun and interesting. Heck, he’s trying to make you stay.

And it's working.

“You have a sister and you told her about me?” Haechan nods with a shy smile, “Well what did you tell her?” You asked with a flirty tone.

“I told her that I’ve never seen a smile so beautiful and that I feel stupid for not asking your name” he shamelessly flirts and came closer to you, making your heart beat faster and making you really nervous.

“Take me some somewhere quiet and I’ll tell you my name” you flirted back.

And without any second thoughts, he brought you to a place where you two can laugh out loud freely, and there's no loud music to bother the moment. You introduced yourself and all he did was giggle and tell you that his little sister will be happy about this. Haechan made you laugh nonstop, telling you the happy memories he holds dear and even small parts about his life, without fooling you and making you think that he’s someone else.

Now that he gets the chance to talk to you again, he wanted to embrace you while he pours all his honesty to you and hopes that you don’t mind liking someone fucked up like him. But Haechan thought that telling you that he’s poor as a rat on your first night together is not something worth staying for, so he shrugged it off and continue asking more about you.

Until you both lost track of time and he offered to walk you home, which you think it’s sweet.

“Do you want to have some water first, before you go? It’s a long way back. M-my parents are not home so no need to be shy,” you offered with a hint of other intentions that he surely understood. And thankfully he accepted.

The moment you closed the door, he stopped you from opening the lights, his hands are on your face and your lips touched immediately. Returning the kiss without hesitation, heads turning continuously and both tongues are wanting for something more.

You motion him to the couch and push him until he falls on the cushions and let out a quiet giggle. It was a pity that you wouldn’t see his bright smile. “You okay with this?” he slips his hand inside your shirt and smoothly removed it.

“More than okay,” you said and started to undo his belt and remove his pants. Soon, you’re both wearing only your underwear while grinding on top of each other. Shy to make a move but your kisses and moans say otherwise. You’re the one who initiates it this time, unclasping your bra and making him knead and cup your boobs shamelessly.

“Do I need a condom?” he asks, removing his boxers brief, throwing it on the floor, and immediately slipped his hand inside your panties while you’re on top of him kissing him like there’s no tomorrow.

You moaned softly when his fingers made contact with your very wet slit and told him, “No. But pull out?” he nods and told you he will. And because of that assurance, you finally removed your panties and went on top of him.

“It’s hard to pull out if you’re going to be on top, maybe next time?” He says and effortlessly switched your positions, putting him on top of you. He pulls away for a second and pumped his cock in between your opened legs, came in closer to kiss you before he pushes his in.

His kisses were gentle and sweet like he’s not about you fuck you in the next few seconds. But when he finally lined his cock and slowly thrust in, both of you moaned and forgot that you were kissing for a second. Sharp gasps escaped your mouth while delicious groans escaped from his. Slowly he takes his time pushing in and out without thrusting all the way, which surely builds the momentum and it definitely made you want more of him.

“I’ll go deeper” thankfully he noticed and pushed in finally. Thrusting a little bit quicker than earlier while his fingers are busy drawing circles on your clit.

Soon, you’re both on edge. Too shy to admit it but you can’t stop clenching and unclenching around him, “Stop doing that,” he says and kissed your neck, bitting the shell of your ear to hear you giggle while he makes you moan deliciously.

He came first as expected because you can’t stop moaning behind his ears and making him feel good with your tight walls. He shoots his cum on your stomach, away from your pussy while his other hand is continuously drawing fast circles and making you cum in no time.

You shivered like crazy and tried closing your legs but Haechan got a hold of it and overstimulated you.

“Wild-brutal, that’s you” you said while you continue to shiver, curl yourself in a ball and beg him to stop.

He kisses your body, avoiding his cum but still managed to suck your nipples good as you come down from your high. When you’re finally calm, you reached for the tissue on the coffee table to wipe yourself clean but he snatched the tissue from your hand and did it himself. After that, you moved your body and make room on the small couch so he can lie beside you, using his arms as your pillow, keeping you close to his sweaty body.

“You’re the second girl I kept in my arms tonight,” he says softly. Looking into your eyes directly. You know that it's his sister and it made you smile and planted a kiss on his lips.

“Can you keep it that way then?” you said, softly like how he spoke. He nods and tightens his hug.

“To be honest I feel like I’m a slut right now because I slept with you first... on my first day of school, my first day of meeting you-“

“Sssh. You think too much. You’re not a slut. I like you, you like me. It’s a normal reaction” he kisses your lips and your cheeks one too many times to make you giggle and eventually let go of your thoughts. “I have to go back to my friends” he added.

“What- No, stay, please. My parents wouldn’t mind” you begged but he shook his head and got up from his comfort.

“I’ll find you again”

“Well give me your phone” you said, eager to make him stay. Eager to stay in his life.

“I don’t have one because I can’t afford one” Haechan was shy to tell you the truth but he didn’t want to lie to you. But of course, you understand him instead of prying. You sat up, kissed him sweetly and told him,

“It’s fine. You know where I live, so we're going to do this old school then” you giggle and make the most of the few minutes you have with him. He reached for your panties and helped you wear them together with your shirt, leaving a soft kiss on your lower abdomen.

“Is that fine? Going old school?” He asks smiling and asking for another kiss.

“More than fine, that means I get to see you always” he giggled and told you that’s right and continued wearing the rest of his clothes.

The next day, Haechan woke up with a smile on his face by just merely thinking about you and thinking of going to your house tonight and surprise you after he hangs out with Jeno at the amusement park.

As his day went on with his best friend, all he thinks about is you. Did you eat already, how was your sleep, do you think of him, and what are you doing now? These are questions that he wanted to ask you because he misses you already, but also, these are the questions that attracted the universe into putting you both in the same place.

Just a few minutes ago, Haechan is thinking about you but now you’re right in front of him... with a blindfold at The Kissing Booth and about to kiss Jeno.... Jeno of all people.

There, Haechan stood and watch you and Jeno kiss in front of the audience. Watching your friends take a video and giggle as much as they want because you have no idea who you’re kissing right now. Oh they would kill to be in your position and taste Jeno’s lips. While you... you think about the gentleman who made you laugh over and over again last night, the gentleman who’s honest about everything, and the gentleman who made you feel good on your family couch last night.

And when you removed your blindfold, you can’t help but feel disappointed. It’s not Haechan you’re kissing, he hasn’t found you again.

When Jeno came closer and attempted to kiss you again, you pushed him away in front of many people, smiled and whispered, “We had our fun already, I think that’s enough. Sorry, I was hoping you’d be someone else” and came down from the stage to join your friends.

The disappointment in Jeno’s face was evident. He felt like he violated you or something and wanted to apologize further but you didn’t give him a chance. He saw Haechan standing in the corner with a soda in his hand and joined him, “That was something. I feel like I was taken to another dimension while I was kissing her. Damn I like her already” Jeno admits, having no clue that Haechan knows exactly what he’s talking about.

“Hey.... Haechan” you taped his shoulder which made him and Jeno turn around. You didn’t want to be bold and flirty with him in front of his friend so you just said hey.

Jeno was shocked to the core when you approached his friend and not him, and he was even more shocked to see you smile so sweetly at Haechan. “You know each other?” he asks you both nervously.

“Yes”

“No”

“N-no. Not really. Dude, everyone knows her. New girl in town plus she came by the store during my shift yesterday after school” Haechan explains. Completely denying that you two shared something special the other night.

Good thing Jeno believed and accepted Haechan’s explanation, so this time he didn’t waste any more time and shoot his shot. “I want to apologize to you. Can we go for a walk? Alone together-“

“Good idea man. I think I should go. I have a shift at the store, s-see you at school. B-both of you,” he says and awkwardly walks out and left you with Jeno.

You wanted to follow him, you would rather want to watch him work at the store than be with Jeno and waste your time strolling around the park, you’ve been wanting to be with him ever since you opened your eyes this morning and now you can’t believe that he denied you in front of his friend.

The whole time he was walking in circles around his neighborhood, Haechan can’t stop thinking about you and Jeno. Even hating the universe more for making him and Jeno like the same girl. Fuck, he murmured frustratingly until he came to a thought that maybe life brought you to Haechan’s life so he could finally give something back to his best friend.

Maybe he’s doing the right thing by letting you and Jeno get to know each other.

“You’re a fool,” his sister teases him while he watches her brush her teeth. Haechan just snorted and let out a small laugh knowing that his little sister is smart and that she’s growing up wise.

“But when you grow old you can’t just commit to something or someone if you know to yourself that you can’t. Be honest,” he kisses her sister good night and tucked her to bed. Wishing for her sister to grow up strong and smart, and not like him.

///

After a few weeks of seeing Jeno and going out on dates with him, you force yourself to think that what happened between you and Haechan is just a one time thing. That you were just horny teenagers that night who both had a bad day that’s why you thought it was something special.

It’s not that you’re using Jeno to forget Haechan, but Jeno is the one making his moves and trying so hard to impress you. He’s almost as nice as Haechan you thought. Maybe that’s why they’re best friends, and maybe that’s why now you look forward to seeing Jeno every day because you see Haechan in him.

Until one night, you and Jeno had a rather hot night that leads you two to his bed. Sex with Jeno is rough and fast and to be honest you forgot how many condoms he used because the sex was that good. And in that very moment, you realized that the only difference between Jeno and Haechan is the way they fuck. Jeno made you forget Haechan whenever you two are in bed and that made you want Jeno to fuck you more each day.

But Jeno is a natural sweetheart, a lover boy who shows you that he is a great man and a good person. “I know we fuck too much and it's obvious that something is bothering you” he says, hugging you closely while you’re on top of him after a very good car sex. “You can tell me, you know?” he added but you just shook your head no. “Okay okay, I understand. I love you. Whatever you’re going through or whatever that’s bothering you, continue to lean on me. Use me if you must,”

And right then and there, you decided to return the love Jeno is giving you.

It was not easy but it was worth it. Jeno loved you so much, more than you could ever imagine. You spend your senior year together, made memories each day, have good sex after school or during weekends, be the life of the party together, and meet each other’s family.

“Are you happy with me?” he whispers behind your ear while he hugs you from behind.

“What kind of question is that?” you said, turning around to meet his eyes and rake his hair away from his face. Not giving a fuck about the people watching you two flirt in the middle of a crowded place with drunk teenagers.

“Just a question. My way of checking if I’m still a good boyfriend” he admitted shyly. You rolled your eyes and came closer to him, planting a soft kiss on his lips which soon became heated and his hands roamed freely around your body.

“Mhmm. I'm happy, I love you” you whisper and you mean it.

“I love you too” he smiles and continues the kiss.

And while you two are in your own private world minding your business, Haechan watches from afar with a beer in his hand. Jealous, but not mad. Happy, but for you and his best friend. You deserve each other, he thought.

So as you and Jeno make your relationship strong and pour all your love on each other, Haechan became even more hardworking, focused more on his studies, and looking for more jobs to save more money. It was his way of forgetting you.

During a party that Jeno threw in his house, everything was intensely wild and everyone got drunk during the party, except Haechan because he was late due to his shift from one of his part-time job.

He saw you laughing with your friends near the poolside. You look beautiful tonight, as always. And at the same time, you look drunk already and all he wanted to do is take care of you but that’s not his job.

“Great that you’re here man, ugh. I’m so drunk” Jeno whines, almost about to throw but he’s still in control. “Here. Promised her dad I’d bring her home, but obviously, I can’t now. I can’t drive while I’m like this, knowing that she’s in the car with me. Too risky. Please dude, thank you”

And just like that, the responsibility and the power to take care of you is passed unto him.

“Baby, Haechan will bring you home- I can’t drive” Jeno admitted to you. Giving you his jacket before he walks you towards his car.

“W-what? Let me stay then, I’ll take care of you. Then you can drive me home when you’re sober” you said but your boyfriend said no and told you you’re as drunk as him. So you didn’t have a choice but to go inside the car with Haechan. He watched you two kiss goodbye and say your I love yous with each other before he drives away and takes you home.

The drive was silent. You didn’t dare to open your mouth and ask how he’s been, he didn’t dare to open his mouth and tell you that you’re beautiful. And it stayed like this until he reaches your house and parked in front of it.

“Do you remember the night that you walked me home?” you started, and you think it’s the alcohol that's talking. Haechan just nods and lets out a heavy sigh. “I wish it never happened. I wish I didn’t flirt back then and went back inside that bar instead of asking you to take me somewhere quiet” you admitted, feeling your heart break but you can finally breathe better now that you told him what you really feel. But deep inside you didn’t mean it. You’re just saying that because you’re still mad at him for denying you.

He unbuckles his seatbelt and reached for you, shamelessly hugging you, and placed a sweet kiss on your temple. You feel his tears and that made you hug him back. Staining his shirt with your tears that you kept for months.

“I’m sorry. I can’t give you what Jeno can give you. My life is a mess, I’m a trash and you deserve someone better. Someone who can take care of you, I can’t” he hugged you a little bit tighter to let you know that he’s sincere. And after a few minutes of silence, he explained his part to you and you listened attentively not because he owes you an explanation but because you miss his voice.

“When I was new here, bullies just won't stop teasing me, then Jeno became my friend and suddenly they all stopped. Jeno didn’t mind if I’m poor, he just wanted a brother and found it in me. That’s why whenever I’m in need he’s always to the rescue, my books, my mother’s job, this Rolex watch that I only use whenever I need it at work. I remember he gave this to me because he didn’t want to give me cash because he was afraid that will make me feel small. So instead he gave me this watch and expected me to pawn it. But I can’t because it’s like a token of our friendship”

“I get it. Bro code” you said calmly and watch him nod. “But who are you to tell me who to love. My heart still belongs to you when Jeno was courting me, I think about you when he kisses me-“

“Do you still feel the same way?” he blurted out, looking at your lips and thinking of kissing it one last time before you have your closure. But he won't.

“I love Jeno but you still have this great effect on me, you still have my heart” you admitted.

“I’m sure you understand me now. Why I don’t want to hurt my friend” you nod because you do understand him, you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend either, “He’s an angel” Haechan added.

When Haechan left and drove away, you feel like he took your heart away with him. Like that one specific night you had sex with him and you didn’t want him to go. You know what you said. You don’t want to hurt Jeno and you do love him, but what can you do? Your heart still belongs to Haechan.

After that understanding with Haechan, you suddenly became cold towards Jeno and all you could think about is Haechan. Obviously, Jeno can see right through you. He knows you, whenever something troubles you, you will keep it to yourself and you won’t tell it to him. So he made a way to cheer you up, but it ended up annoying you.

He invited you to his house to have a sleepover and movie night with him. The thing is, Jeno knew you love having sex with him so the moment you two are alone in his room with all the lights off and only his big flat-screen TV is on, he tried putting you in the mood and became way too touchy.

“Stop” you whine as Jeno starts kissing your neck while his hands roam free around your body. It feels good you can’t lie, but you’re not in the mood so you pushed him a little too hard which made him even more frustrated.

“What did I do wrong? I wish you could open up to me more, Y/n” he gets up from his bed and gave you space. “You’ve been like that for days and days already, I don’t know if I did something wrong. Baby, just tell me. I’ll fix it,”

And there it is. Your very reason why you loved him “Why do you have to be so nice?” you murmur and sat beside him. You knew that this isn’t the right time to tell him about Haechan, but he asked what's bothering you so you’re going to tell him the truth and do the right thing. Bravely, you told him every inch of your feelings, the truth about you and Haechan, and hopes that he will not get mad at you or his friend.

He listened. While Holding your hand. Close to tears but he won’t cry in front of you. Not yet. But now that he knows the truth about you and his best friend, he felt like he stole you from him.

“Don’t be mad at him, he just feels obligated to give back to all the kindness you have done to him and his family” you wait for his reaction. You expect him to get mad or throw a fit but all he did was kiss your knuckles, hold them tightly, and kept you close while he can.

“So what now? Do you need time? Space even? It hurts like hell, I must admit but I can’t force you to stay” he says, with tears in his eyes and trying so hard to look strong.

“I need space from the both of you, choosing is not easy. I don’t want to hurt you in the future Jeno” you said.

“I can’t force you to stay, but I can beg right? I love you-“ He cups your face and leaves too many kisses on your lips, saying he loves you over and over again, begging you to please choose him.

“I’m sorry Jeno, please don’t beg. You don’t deserve this,” you made him stop begging and pull him into a tight hug. Inviting him to come to bed with you and savor this night together while you can because, on the next day, you will leave him.

///

When you broke up with Jeno and focused all your energy on school, you walk almost every day from school to your house just so you can sort out your thoughts.

Jeno stopped begging you to come back after a few months and got himself a new girlfriend while Haechan… well, he’s doing his best with avoiding you. Still, breaking up with Jeno is a wise decision because now it’s clear that you don’t love him like how you love and long for Haechan.

“Fuck” you curse at the rain for pouring out of nowhere and you have no choice but to enter the store that Haechan is looking after. Just like the rain, you came out of nowhere and shock him. But shocking him and ruining his peace was not your intention, you’re just waiting for the rain to stop so you can go and walk again.

Shivering because of the store’s air conditioning, you hug yourself to keep yourself warm in every way you can but it’s not enough. You tried going out again but the rain kept pouring and it started to rain hard again when you tried and open the door. But then you heard the sound of the air conditioning being turned off, and Haechan is behind you holding the remote and some extra clothes.

“You’ll get sick if you stay wet. Here-“ he awkwardly hands you an extra shirt and his hoodie, “You can change back there. There’s no one else in this store except me,” he says and points at the door for the staff room. Of course you accepted his offer and you’re happy that he still cares.

When you got back, you saw him preparing you a hot drink and made you sit on one of the vacant chairs. “How are you?” he asks, stirring the drink and puts it in front of you carefully.

“I’ve been well, thank you for asking. How about you? How's your sister?”

“I’m doing good too. And my sister is fine”

And after that, an awkward silence made you both giggle and feel shy about being alone in this cold store. But not for long. Haechan initiated the conversation and made small talk with you. If he’s being honest right now, he doesn’t want you to shut up. He wanted you to talk and talk freely without being shy… like that first night you spend together.

When the rain stopped, he walked you home again and you both enjoyed the cool breeze and wet street. Admiring the calmness that the rain brought. “Why did you avoid me? After me and Jeno broke up?” you asked calmly.

“I know we learned the hard way and we’ve been through some stuff” he came closer and put strands of your hair behind your ear, “I’ve been helping myself to be better for you so this time I won’t fuck us up, and I wasn’t avoiding you. I’m giving you time to heal” he smiles and looked into your eyes deeply.

“Can we start again?” he finally blurted out. “This is my final attempt on keeping you, and… I just want to fight for you this time”

The rain was a blessing after all. You don’t know if the rain was a sign of starting over again but you’re glad that you decided to walk today and got soaked in the rain and did not have a choice but to enter that convenience store. But you’re happy that the rain brought you back together, so you hugged him tightly as your answer and warned him with all your might.

“If I wake up tomorrow and you deny me again, I swear Lee Haechan-“

And just like that, he cuts you off with a kiss, an act of promise so you won’t need to worry for the next day. “My sister will kill me if I let go of you again” he giggles and continue kissing you.

Who would have thought that you need only the rain for you and Haechan to get back together? Because after that night, he kept his promise to you. He never left your side and you never left his. Life wasn’t easy for him still, but you made sure you stayed with him through thick and thin.

Even though Haechan can’t bring you to expensive dates or movie dates, being with him while he’s working at the convenience store is more than enough for you. “I love my job. I can earn money while having a study date with you in this cold store” he says, kissing your temple while you’re busy reading and studying beside him.

Your remaining high school days were full of him and you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

After graduation, you and Haechan planned on living together even though you’re both going to different schools, thankfully your schools aren’t that far from each other. Living together is not easy, your parents warned you. But Haechan made it easy for you because he loves you so much. Nonetheless, you would still choose a hard life with and just so you could be together the moment you open your eyes in the morning until you close them to end your day at night.

“It's you and me from now on, Y/n” he whispers beside your ear, hugging you from behind so tightly like you’re going somewhere and finally kiss you good night.

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hangovercurse · 3 years

Text

The Things We Can’t Tell Pete About

Pete invites you to meet his friends from The Dirt and makes you promise not to flirt with any of them, which is a lot easier said than done, especially when Colson Baker acts like that.

Request: “Hey so I love all your writing and I just thought you should know that! But also I’d your requests are on still would you mind writing a youre Pete’s little sister but kells got a crush xx”

Colson x reader

Warnings: Drug use, Cursing

A/N: I know, Dom (Yungblud) wrote the song, but also I am the writer and I say that Y/N wrote it :) Anyways, enjoy. This is only part 1 of what is probably going to be a fun, cute lil series. Also thank you to the anon who sent this! You made my day(s)

Word Count: 2411

| ii | iii | iv | v |

masterlist

New York was lonely without your brother. He had been filming in New Orleans for the past three months, leaving you alone. You had some friends, but Pete was your best friend. You were only eight months younger than him and practically attached at the hip. You supposed going through trauma together would do that to people.

He facetimed you all the time from set, updating you on things in his life, showing you cool stuff from the set, and introducing you to his castmates. You had kept him updated on your music, playing him demos of songs you were writing and getting his opinion on them.

Him being away wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but it definitely sucked for you. So, when Pete texted you that he was having a few friends from the movie over the night he got back, you were ecstatic.

Before you left your apartment to walk to his, he texted you.

You’re not allowed to flirt with any of my friends

You rolled your eyes as you locked your door, preparing a response.

I’ll try my best

Your phone buzzed seconds later.

I’m serious. I don’t trust any of them with you.

And I don’t need that kind of awkwardness in my life

Like if you date one of my friends and it goes badly

I don’t wanna deal with that shit

You chuckled at his chain of texts.

Don’t flirt with your friends because they’re dicks, got it

Don’t worry bro, I know the sibling code

You came to find out that that was a lot easier said than done. When you walked into his place, everyone in the room turned to look at you. You recognized most of them from your facetimes with Pete, but you doubted they remembered who you were. One who did remember you was Colson, Pete’s new best friend. He made eye contact with you from across the room, a sly grin on his lips. You sent him a small smile, Pete’s text running through your head briefly.

You found your brother lounging on the couch, a huge grin on his face. He was definitely tripping on mushrooms. “Y/N!” He yelled. “This is my baby sister, everyone.”

You rolled your eyes, walking further into the room, grabbing a drink from the cooler, and taking an empty seat on the opposite couch. “I’m less than a year younger than you, Pete.”

You heard a snicker from the one of the guys, looking over to see Colson covering up the smile on his face. “But you’re still younger than me so it counts.”

Everyone went back to their own conversations, which you were thankful for. “Y/N, you remember Colson, right?” Pete motioned to the blond guy.

“Yeah.” You nodded, looking him up and down. His muscle tank exposed the sleeves of tattoos, which seemed to cover every inch of his skin. “Your hair was different, but yeah I remember you.” You opened the beer on the coffee table, taking a swig.

“You’re the musician, right?” He asked you, leaning back onto the couch.

You nodded, “Aspiring musician but, yeah.”

“Oh, she’s great. You should hear her sometime.” Pete butted in, grinning like an idiot at you.

You rolled your eyes but had a smile on your face. “I work primarily as a songwriter and editor right now, but I’m trying to work on putting out some of my own stuff.”

You felt a little intimidated talking to Machine Gun Kelly about music, seeing as he was one of the best in the industry, but he seemed to be genuinely interested in your work. “Well, if you ever want some help or someone to listen to it, I’d be willing.” He flashed a smile, his bright blue eyes sparkling.

“Thanks, that’s really cool of you.” You bit your lip slightly, trying to hide the fact that you were totally breaking Pete’s rule.

Pete sent a glare your way to which you raised your eyebrow. You weren’t really flirting; you were just… making connections. “Anyways,” he cleared his throat, “I’ve been working on this sketch idea, Y/N, and I need your opinion.”

You nodded, letting him talk. “So, I was thinking like, there’s this guy with posters all over his wall. Like life size posters of a bunch of different people. And he falls asleep while doing homework and he dreams about them coming to life. And it plays out like one of those really bad commercials that encourage kids to stay in school and shit. Like the posters are telling him to study for his test, but then there’s this one poster that’s like, very sexy. And she’s just like, talking about hot dogs and everyone else gets really sick of it and one of the other posters tries to like, tear down her poster or something.”

Throughout his description, you got more and more confused. “Pete, that’s not funny that’s just fuckin weird.” His mouth hung open in shock. “Dude, seriously? The big punchline is the playboy poster girl talking about hot dogs until the other poster people get tired of it?”

“Yes.” Pete said, as if it were obvious. “That’s hilarious.” You glanced at Colson with a questioning look on your face. He seemed as unsure of the joke as you were.

“Pete, man, that’s not your best work.” Colson clapped him on the shoulder and you giggled at Pete’s disappointed expression.

“You guys are mean.” He pouted and you two laughed. “Ok, well, how would you make it funny?”

“I don’t know if you can, bro.” Colson’s laugh was contagious. When he laughed his whole body shook, his feet stomping and everything.

“What are the other posters?” You asked, trying to be supportive but knowing this wouldn’t turn out very good.

“Well, I was thinking maybe one is like a video game character. Like that lady from Wreck-It-Ralph. The mean one. And then like a snowboarder who is definitely high, and someone else, I dunno.” He shrugged, taking a hit from the joint in his hand and passing it to you.

“Okay…” You trailed off, looking at Colson for support. You brought the blunt to your lips, inhaling the smoke and bringing it down, letting the smoke leave your mouth slowly. You passed the joint to Colson, who gladly took it, a smirk on his face.

Pete looked between you two at the small interaction, a frown. “So, the posters,” he brought your attention away from the man again, “they’re all really serious about teaching this dude math. But the hotdog girl just keeps talking about hot dogs in like this really high-pitched voice.”

You watched the smoke fall from Colson’s lips, not fully paying attention to your brother.

“Yeah man, I think that sounds funny.” Colson told Pete, his eyes lingering on you for a little longer than they should have. “It could use some work but if anyone can make it funny, it’s you.” Colson punched your brother on the shoulder, but the look he sent you said the exact opposite.

You held in your giggle, taking another sip of your beer.

The rest of the night followed a similar pattern, you and Colson flirting and Pete trying to get in between you two. At one point, after a few more hits of weed and a couple more drinks, Colson brought out a guitar, insisting you play something for him. Where he got the guitar from, you had no idea, but you didn’t ask questions. Instead, you rolled your eyes, insisting that “if I have to play something, so do you.”

Everyone was too caught up in their own conversations to care about the noise, or too drunk. You started strumming, trying to remember the chords to a song you had started writing a few days ago. “There’s no lyrics yet, just a melody I came up with.” You blushed, feeling very self-conscious suddenly.

“Guess I’ll just free style to it then.” He chuckled as you started to strum, your fingers working the strings like they had your whole life.

The blond man closed his eyes, head nodding as you played and thinking of what to rap.

“Watch me, take a good thing and fuck it all up in one night. Catch me, I’m the one on the run away from the headlights.

No sleep, up all week wastin time with people I don’t like. I think, somethin’s fuckin wrong with me.

You smiled as he sang, watching his expressions change as he tried to think up the next line.

Drown myself in alcohol, that shit never helps at all

I might say some stupid things tonight when you pick up this call

I be hearin silence on the other side for way to long, I can taste it on my tongue, I can tell that somethin’s wrong.”

He opened his eyes, looking rather proud of himself. “I had some of those lyrics already, but I just changed ‘em a little. I really liked that.”

You nodded, “That was impressive.” You smiled, looking back down to the guitar when something hit you.

You began to play the same melody but pitched higher to fit your voice.

“Roll me up, and smoke me love

And we could fly into the night

You take drugs, to let go, and figure it all out on your own

Take drugs, on gravestones, to figure it all out on your own.”

You looked up to Colson, watching his expression change, his eyes wide. Pete had a proud look on his face.

“Pete, you are a sucky hype man. You did her no justice.” Colson hit Pete on the arm.

“Whaddya mean, I told you she was great.”

Colson looked over to you, a stupid smile on his face. “Seriously, that was fucking amazing. Like, we gotta write that shit out some day.”

You bit your lip, trying to stop the blush from reaching your cheeks. “Yeah, that’d be cool.” You were trying your best to keep your cool as Colson kept his gaze on you, but you were completely freaking out on the inside.

A little while later, almost everyone was gone except you, Pete, Colson, and Douglas Booth, who joined your conversation not long after your jam session. Pete let out a yawn, directing your attention to the time.

“Jesus, it’s already 4am?” You asked, a frown on your face.

“Why, you got somewhere to be, darling?” Douglas asked you, your face scrunching up from the nickname.

“I have a writing session at 11 am tomorrow. Or, today, I guess.”

Pete reached out to hit you in the head, playfully, which you dodged. “Go to bed, dummy.”

You shrugged, “I’m gonna be dead at it anyways, might as well keep the party going a little longer.”

Douglas rolled his eyes, patting your shoulder. “Be that as it may, I am ending this party and going home. Goodnight, guys. It was nice meeting you again, Y/N. Good to see you guys.” Douglas and the guys did that little hand slap and hug thing before he left.

“I love you both, but I will also be going to sleep. And you should too.” Pete stood up, stretching his arms out before giving Colson a fist bump and leaving to his bedroom.

Once your older brother left, Colson moved to the couch you were on, his arm falling over your shoulders. You looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. “And how can I help you Mr. Kelly?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m assuming Pete gave us both very similar talking to’s, given the glares you’ve been receiving all night.”

“You mean the “don’t flirt with my friends” talking to or the other one?” You tilted your head, a sly look on your face.

“That’s the one.” Colson laughed through his nose, an adorable smile on his face. You were both considerably high, but you still knew exactly what you were doing.

You moved closer to Colson’s body, “Well then I guess we’d better not do this.” You said quietly, leaning into him. “Or this,” You grabbed his jaw, inches from his face.

“Or this?” He whispered, connecting your lips. You smiled into the kiss, tasting the weed on his tongue. You adjusted your body so you were facing him, his arm that was once around your shoulder now wrapped around your waist.

His other hand grabbed your leg, pulling you up so you were straddling his lap, and your arms wrapped around his neck. His lips seemed to fit perfectly around yours, and you did all you could to keep yourself from moaning into the kiss as his hand began to travel up your leg.

Realization hit you like a brick wall, and you pulled away, your breathing heavy. “Sorry,” you muttered after a few seconds. You climbed off his lap, smoothing out your shirt. “We shouldn’t do that. I shouldn’t have done that.” You smiled awkwardly down at him.

He nodded, the same realization hitting him. “Yeah, that’s not the best idea. Sorry I wasn’t really thinking.”

You shook your head, cheeks still very red. “No, no, no don’t apologize. It was fine, it’s all fine.”

He nodded, looking down awkwardly. “I should get going.” He stood up, landing a little too close to you.

“Why don’t you just sleep here? Pete won’t mind and it’s a lot easier than going home.” You bit your lip awkwardly, taking a few steps back.

Colson scratched the back of his neck. This was a very different demeanor than he had before, and you found it very cute. “Are you sure?”

You nod. “I’ll get you some blankets and pillows.” You moved towards the guest bedroom, a guilty smile on your face. You moved your hand to your lips, feeling where Colson’s lips had graced you minutes before.

You came back to find Colson laying on the couch, one hand behind his head. “We don’t have to tell Pete about that, right?”

You shook your head, a small smile still playing on your lips. You put the pillow behind his head, watching his eyes as he watched your lips. “Stop looking at me like that or I’ll do something else we can’t tell Pete about.” You said quietly, watching him grin. You pulled the blanket over him, leaning down to be level with his face.

“I kind of like the things we can’t tell Pete about.” Colson chuckled, leaning forward to connect your lips again.

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff #colson baker angst #pete davidson

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writingssummit · 3 years

Note

Hi I just read you’re tsukishima story and it was so cute omg but I have an idea

Let’s say y/n has a huge crush on tsukishima since they were children right. But tsukishima never rlly liked y/n in that way. So he would always like be kinda aggressive but like not in the physical way, like he would be cold to her whenever y/n would constantly say something abt them dating. In reality he did like her but he didn’t realize it. Then suddenly a new guy shows up, he’s like really handsome and he’s in a small band, he plays the bass. Y/n actually listens to that band and she was so excited so the two of them click really easy, that’s when she starts being distant with tsukishima and stops the talks abt them dating, tsukishima starts to miss everything y/n would say to him and he wanted to get y/n back, but when he tries he sees y/n and the guy sharing a peck 😔‼️ sorry if this was longgggg ugh

a/n: ahhh! I’m glad you thought so, haha! don’t worry about the length, specifics are always welcome! <3 this is a really good idea! i think it ended up on the longer side, but yk, more content is good? i also ended up naming him, so it’s easier to refer to him. i keep holding on to highschool settings i’m sorry LMAO- i haven’t finished season 4 and i’m not reading the manga yet :( but anyways, here’s a bit of angst/unrequited love to balance out my recent fluff posts !

asks/requests: open !

word count: 2.6k

warnings?: some angst/unrequited love

worth a try.

- TSUKISHIMA KEI -

growing up with tsukishima had been a whirlwind of experiences. ever since you had moved and transferred to his school the last year of primary school, you’d been drawn to him. the tall, blonde kid with glasses. you found his pride in volleyball admirable, and you even found him to be so much cooler than you ever would be.

you originally didn’t know anybody when you first moved, but you fit right in with both tsukishima and his own friend. it was a strange combination, but it worked somehow. while tsukishima was rude, and yamaguchi timid, you were loud and energetic. you were lively. you challenged him just for the fun of it, you poked and prodded, just having fun being around him.

you were his self-declared best friend.

looking back on it, you probably always had feelings for tsukishima. back in those days when you tried to get into volleyball yourself. wanting to be like him, you tried your best, but you weren’t all that good. he would make fun of you for it, but you weren’t bothered by settling for being supportive of him and your freckled friend. You were just as passionate as they were about it.

you were even there when that passion jaded. watched as he stared at his brother from across the game.

it was when you started junior high, that you came to the conclusion that you were in love with your friend. but unlike most people, you did nothing to hide it. why would you? you were always open, always honest and straight to the point. you just weren’t one to hide that.

“go out with me, tsukki!” you poked his side with a cheeky grin, your eyes bright. your friend wasted no time in rejecting you.

“no.”

“aw, you sure?”

“i would never date somebody so stupidly annoying.” you shook off the blatant insult, laughing instead with your hand on your neck. a small thing you picked up from your other friend. yamaguchi.

“you’ll come around one day!”

“i doubt that.”

it went on like that all throughout your remaining years until high school. a constant back and forth that became a schedule at that point.

it was decided that tsukishima would be going to karasuno, as would yamaguchi. and so would you. you would go where they go, you’d never thought about leaving them both. you’d stay with them as long as possible, holding on to their friendship like it was your lifeline..

and holding onto tsukishima even more so.

you were there with them on the first day, when they joined volleyball club. that first practice match against aoba johsai.

you weren’t always watching their practices, since you had your own club duties to attend to of course. but you always made sure to stop by the clubroom while the boys were getting ready, just to say hi to everyone and to a certain someone.

“hey, hey!” you poked your head from around the door, waving a hand. the team greeted you cheerfully enough, minus tsukishima. who looked annoyed to no end.

“tsukki, wanna go grab something to eat after your practice? i know a really great spot!”

he didn’t even look at you, only giving you the middle finger.

you laughed, shrugging. “worth a try.”

the first time the team had witnessed your very forward approach to asking the extremely salty and crude boy out, they were surprised. the way he turned you down so effortlessly too, threw them off. the added shock of anybody even liking him was the cherry on top.

“is this normal?” sugawara asked, a chuckle falling from his lips. asahi was beside him, sweatdropping at the sight of your affectionate display, and tsukishima’s obvious lack of reciprocation.

yamaguchi smiled awkwardly, nodding. “well- yeah, actually. It’s been happening for years.”

“i’d kill to have somebody all over me like that! lucky bastard!” tanaka held his fist up dramatically, as if clenching his heart in it. he even had a tear in the corner of his eye.

“well then, i’ll be on my way! good practice, everyone!” you chirped, finally leaving them.

“l/n’s got some serious determination.” tanaka whistled.

“misplaced determination. they won’t shut up about dating, it’s annoying.” tsukishima didn’t sound as impressed as his loud senpai was.

yamaguchi tilted his head to the side. “really? i would’ve thought tha-”

“shut up.”

a small laugh. “sorry, tsukki.”

it would forever continue, it seemed like. you never thought you’d give it up, you always knew that you liked tsukishima. your heart would pound, your stomach would feel fluttery. but even though you’ve been with him since you were children, it didn’t seem like he’d grown to feel the same. it would get you down sometimes, his mean and harsh words whenever you’d bring it up. either casually, or intentionally.

you couldn’t help being so hopelessly whipped!

you were walking down the sidewalk with yamaguchi and tsukishima, humming along to a new song that had been dropped recently. you were so into it, strumming your fingers like you were the one playing in the recording. tsukishima watched you with critical eyes, but yamaguchi watched as if this was entertaining.

“new song, l/n?” yamaguchi asked you, and you paused the music. you nodded right away, grinning.

“yeah! there’s this kind of new band I found a bit ago, i think around the time you guys met nekoma for that first practice match? their music is so cool!” you could go on and on about them, to be honest. they may be small, and very underground, but you liked them anyways.

“wahh, they sound cool- right, tsukki?” yamaguchi and you both looked behind at him, faces expecting the same sentiment.

he only scoffed.

you roll your eyes playfully, sidling up to him for the first time today. “you want to go get some ice cream, tsukki?” you wished, hoped for him to just say yes for once. your heart was begging at this point.

“get out of my face, l/n.” he said coldly.

with a defeated sigh, you walked a few steps quicker, before unpausing the music. the humming resumed, and yamaguchi glanced back and forth between you both with a weary expression.

“you could try to be a bit nicer, tsukki-”

“they can’t take a damn hint, it’s not my job to be nice about it.” He said stubbornly.

yamaguchi sighed himself, nodding along. there wasn’t a point in continuing the topic; he always shut it down whenever yamaguchi brought it up. he’s never been so aggressive about something before.

interhigh had come, taking up your friend’s time with it. you were upset that they’d be so busy now, but with the new tournament coming, came a new student.

he was friendly, and cheerful, and honestly probably one of the most charming people you’ve ever met in your life. he even looked familiar to you, like you’ve seen him somewhere before. you couldn’t figure it out, so you just opted to the conclusion you must have just passed him down the street at some point. or some strange case of deja vu? either way, he was in your class now.

you were just coming back from the bathroom, your earbuds plugged into your ears like they usually were nowadays.

“l/n, please take your earbuds out, it’s class time.” iour teacher scolded you gently, and you pouted a little. It was just getting to a good part-

you had tugged on them a little too hard, and instead of just getting them out of your ears, they came out of the headphone jack completely.

you were embarrassed as your new favorite band’s music started blasting out of the phone’s speakers, and you hurried to turn it off. You were blushing, laughing at yourself as you went to go sit back down.

ahh, dang! everyone heard that! you were just laughing at yourself in your head now.

there was a tap on your desk, and you turned your face towards the hand. it was the new kid, and his face looked bright.

“you listen to my band’s music?” he whispered to you, his face beaming, and you gasped quietly.

“is this you?” you pointed at your pocket, where your phone rested. he nodded.

“that’s so- wow, i go to school with one of the people in my favo-”

“l/n, do you have something to say about the lecture?”

you shook your head violently, holding back a huge grin. “n-no, miss!” your teacher sighed, and continued past the interruption.

the looks you both shared didn’t go unnoticed by tsukishima.

everyday now, you were hanging around the new kid. you had come to learn his name, which was ishiwaka teruo. you both had hit it off instantly, it was like you guys had known each other forever, and not just a few weeks. it was almost like some crazy twist of fate, or luck. you guys were both alike in a lot of ways, held similar passions, too.

“see you, ishi!” you waved a hand, grinning as he waved a goodbye back. you guys didn’t take the same way home, so he ended up leaving the opposite direction, while you walked with tsukishima and yamaguchi. you were humming again, one of ishiwaka’s band’s songs.

“you seem pretty happy, l/n.” yamaguchi chuckled, watching as you danced a little.

“oh yeah, you bet! ishi actually invited me to sit in for one of his practices, isn’t that so cool? he plays the bass, and he even offered to teach me a few chords. i don’t really mess with instruments, but-”

“can you shut up about him? all you do is just yap on and on about this guy, hanging out with him isn’t enough for you? what’s so special anyways?” his tone was harsh, and condescending. “if you’re just going to talk about him all the time, i’m not walking with you guys anymore.” your eyes widened as soon as you heard what tsukishima had just said. your heart was pounding, like it had been caught in the act of something terrible. you even felt slightly ashamed.

“wow, nice, tsukki. sorry for being excited about something.” you muttered, clutching your bag straps tight. what did you expect at this point? he didn’t like you as much as you thought, if he was so ready to just leave you behind. yamaguchi sensed the tension between you both, which made him uncomfortable.

you were all quiet for the rest of the way home.

interhigh came and went, the loss against aoba johsai stung the volleyball team, leaving their spirits broken, and cracked. you hadn’t been to the game that day, busy with a certain band member. and your missing presence hadn’t been looked over.

“where were you?” tsukishima had confronted you in the hallways, while you were walking with ishiwaka to the water fountain. it was break, which meant he could freely talk to you now.

you looked away from him, a nervous air around you that wasn’t like you at all.

“i’m sorry i couldn’t make it, tsukki- i heard that you guys lost, and i’m really sorry i couldn’t have been there!” your words were careful and slow, like you were thinking on how to say the right thing to him.

the blonde closed his eyes, and looked off to the side. he didn’t look pleased in the slightest. “were you with your precious band member? like some kind of groupie.”

ishiwaka raised an eyebrow, and you just shook your head. tsukishima was really doing this right now? you said sorry, what else were you supposed to say?

“you know what, yeah. i was with him. it’s not like..it’s not like i have to be around you or yamaguchi every second of the day, okay?” you sighed. “look, i’ll make it to your next practice, and skip my club activities. is that fine?”

he hesitated, before giving you a curt nod. you smiled in relief. “great! i’ll see you then. now, about that specific measure-”

you had left him behind, and tsukishima had been hit with a realization.

you hadn’t mentioned going on a date at all. not today, not even within the past few weeks. was something wrong with you? he’d gotten so used to that, but now even that wasn’t a constant.

it was like you were slipping away from him, day by day.

and he realized that he didn’t like that.

as the days went on, thoughts about this ran rampant through his mind. it was maddening, he was trying to focus on school, and now, as he was walking to the clubroom, volleyball. he was scarily silent, and yamaguchi caught onto it right away.

“tsukki?” he asked quietly, not wanting to push. but he wanted to know. ever since tsukishima had come back from break that day, he’d been acting strange. he was even saltier, if that was possible.

“am i not enough for l/n?” he spit out the question, like it was a disease.

taken aback, the freckled boy could only blink. the two stopped walking, looking right at each other now. “what?”

tsukishima barked out a laugh, running a hand over his face in frustration. “you heard me, yamaguchi.”

yamaguchi’s jaw dropped. “do you miss them?” was he for real? was this jealousy actually coming from tsukishima?

“hell if i know.” he muttered. but he knew the answer, and that’s what upset him.

“i knew it. tsukki, why did it have to be now, though?” he shook his head in disbelief. at the utter obliviousness of this boy. yamaguchi knew himself that there was something there in tsukishima, something resembling feelings for you. but of course it was when you were no longer always around that he saw it.

“what?”

“l/n isn’t a puppy anymore, they’re not following after you. if you haven’t noticed, they’ve given up. you need to do this yourself, and fix it.” yamaguchi stated. he wouldn’t be lying if he said that he’d been frustrated with the back and forth between you both, it was so obvious to him, but apparently not obvious to tsukishima. or you, for that matter.

“i know that.” he muttered. he would have to confront you about this. was he stupid? why didn’t he get this before?

“then do something about it.”

tsukishima was quiet.

it was decided by him that he’d catch you outside of practice, since you said you’d be coming to watch. it was a quick, and impulsive decision from him, but he needed this to be figured out. his head was at it’s most unclear, and that was affecting him.

you were affecting him.

he looked around the outside of the gym, trying to see if he could spot you coming. it took a minute, before he saw a figure off to the side. it was you, he could tell by that bag anywhere. he stepped out, only to be met with the full picture.

you were with ishiwaka, and you were kissing him.

tsukishima hurried back into the gym with a stone-cold expression. oh. so this is where he stood now.

no longer at the top of your list, no longer important.

you walked into the gym, beaming. it angered tsukishima, more than he should have been. he yanked your arm, and held you by them with a vice grip. you looked up at your friend with nervous, maybe even scared eyes. you hadn’t seen tsukishima like this before.

“what is he to you?”

you blinked. “wh-what?”

“who is he to you? that little bass player.” his eyes were searching yours, for anything, anything that he could hold on to. you didn’t respond, only looking away from his intense stare.

your eyes didn’t hold that same look that they used to whenever you looked at him.

he had his answer. and he didn’t like it. so he let go of you, maybe for real this time. things had changed so much, right under his nose. and he had let it happen.

#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader angst #tsukishima x reader angst

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marky4l · 3 years

Text

Step by Step / Mark Lee

step by step / mkl

pairing: Mark Lee x Reader

From an innocent childhood friendship to a juvenile high school rivalry to a forced pairing for a Psychology paper, it seems you and Mark just can’t avoid each other. But something’s a little different now.

genre: fluff, angst (a little bit), suggestive themes, childhood friends (barely mentioned!) to enemies to lovers, college!au

notes: lia yeonjun chan hyuck jeno all make tiny appearances

word count: 17.2k

hi!!! this is my first work nd I’m really excited to put this out I’d looove if you could give it a read :^) hound me on my inbox if u wanna i take anything

“Remember when we were best friends in fifth grade?”

His voice is a little quiet, and there’s a very obvious undertone of boredom, but you hum softly anyway, nodding, as if to question why you would ever forget. Fifth grade was a suburban brew of Star Wars marathons, figuring out the world, and Harry Potter merchandise littering your house. Fifth grade was lemonade and oatmeal, knitted sweaters, and sneaking into your mom’s vanity to swipe her makeup. And fifth grade was Mark—bright eyed, geeky Mark, with his Death Star replica and weird electronica music.

Mark, who had an affinity with Troy from High School Musical and Spiderman, and wanted to be just like them. Mark, who would show up grinning to your front door everyday, pie dish in his nimble grip. He was the one who had opened a lemonade stand at the corner of your block so he could buy you the Gryffindor scarf you’d been nagging your mom about the entire holiday season. He was the one who learned the chords to your favorite Jonas Brothers song and sang it to you each time you requested it.

“Yes, I do,” you answer instead, clearing your throat.

You attempt to push down all the memories that just ran through your head and adjust the grip you have on your pen. “Well,” Mark continues, “that was ages ago. Beats me why it ever happened.”

The timidity is replaced with a tidal wave of teasing, and the annoyance that had disappeared is beginning to crawl all over you. Again. You roll your eyes and pull up the slides your professor had assigned. “Beats me why we even ended up in the same university, let alone the same class,” you jab, “if you thought I forgot about how you outright failed our Spanish classes in high school, I didn’t.”

Your friendship with Mark had reached its unfortunate demise to the hands of middle school, where you had branched out with your interests and began to stick to societal (as societal as school can get) norms. He had joined the geeky, cool kids; you hadn’t joined a specific social circle, but you had a best friend, Lia, and you were generally good with everybody.

Somehow, despite you both being in good graces with everyone, you had a deep-seated dislike for one another that stemmed from an intense academic rivalry. Specifically, the competition to become school council president. That had ended now, seeing as though you were both in college, but the abrasiveness of your banter had never worn off.

“Oh, because you were so good at Physics?” he says, voice even. His brow is raised. “We all have our strong suits, you know. You’re one to talk.” You decide to pay him no mind, instead jotting down the criteria for your final project in Psychology 1—something about the stages of grief. You’re supposed to relate it to a different human process and show how they fit with one another.

It’s absolute fucking bullshit, and the fact that Mark Lee became your partner among a hundred students is beyond you. Absolutely beyond you.

He nears your screen, reading the content of your project, eyes squinted—you’d noticed his lack of decent eyesight years ago, but it seemingly hadn’t improved. “Relate the stages of grief…hold up, what? That’s difficult as hell. What are we supposed to do, lose a loved one?” You roll your eyes, turning to him. “No, Mark. The point is to find another process that happens gradually and relate it to this—denial, bargaining, anger. Get it?”

He stares back at you. “No.”

You groan audibly, turning back to your notebook. “This is impossible. Can we just switch partners so I won’t have to deal with you?” He smirks, kicking his feet up on the library table. Absently, you note how nice his sneakers look. Reclining onto the seat, he shuts his eyes as if to contemplate.

“I heard through the birdvine our professor’s the type to pair up people she thinks would look good together for shits and giggles. Girls and boys, boys and boys, you name it. Johnny”—he’s referring to a guy who’s a year above yours, studying Biology—“tells me over five couples have been born out of this class. Isn’t that nice?” You scoff, scrolling mindlessly through the slides to keep yourself distracted.

“It really is. A shame we won’t be adding to that list, because I can’t fucking stand you.” He laughs loudly, the vibration of it remaining in the deadly silent air. “I can stand fucking you, though,” he says, and then, before you can even blush, “All jokes. Don’t get your hopes up, ‘kay?” He’s quick to get up, just as flustered as you are at the uncharacteristic phrase that just left his mouth. He collects his jacket and jogs out of the library with a small, half-assed bye under his breath.

—

Lia’s eyes bore into yours. “He actually said that? I’m telling you, he’s some weird kinky guy under that whole cool geek persona. High school Mark would never have. Oh my god. He’s a furry—he’s a furry!” She flops back onto your bed, laughing. You poke at her waist in protest.

“It’s because he’s surrounded by too many weird classy fuckboys. You know, those that think that they’re all that because they haven’t roofied a girl.” You’re half-joking, and you’re really only referring to maybe two guys you’ve happened to see Mark with. As if to read your mind, Lia continues. “Hey, I heard some of them are okay. They’re not, like…those ‘nice guys’, if you get me.”

“I do,” you quip. “But I guess I’m just trying to find a way to justify the whole 360 in Mark. I mean, in high school, he was still nerdy—well, you know. Shy. But jump to sophomore year of uni and he’s suddenly some…” You rack your head for a proper term. “Sex god?” your friend asks, holding in a laugh. “Oh, eat shit,” you fire back, “really, eat shit. And while you’re at it, feed me some, too, because I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to turn in at the end of the term. Like, Jes—”

There’s a faint knock at the door, and then. “Lia? It’s—uh, it’s me, Daniel? Er, Daniel Choi.” Your wide eyes can’t possibly match Lia’s as she tugs on a decent-looking pullover and puts it on. As she swings the door open, you manage to sufficiently hide yourself under your duvet and attempt to hear their conversation.

“You know, it’s okay if you leave out the whole…saying your full name at the door part. Trust me…I know you,” she jokes, and you hear him laugh before you detect the crinkling of a plastic bag. “Chinese. Uh, I bought some extra for your best friend, because I’m not gonna pretend I don’t see the sentient blob on the bed.”

You pull the blanket off and smile sheepishly. “Hey, Daniel,” you say, “thanks for the food. I owe you an empty room next time, I swear by it. It’ll be easy, since I’m gonna be”—you heave yourself off the bed and onto the floor, where they’re both sitting—“holed up at the library for the next few weeks.”

Lia nods, chewing her chow mein, and then when she’s done, she explains to Daniel your whole huge Psychology end-of-term paper about stages and grief and whatever, oh also she’s partnered with Mark Lee, this guy that we both know from high school, and she dislikes his guts, oh you know him?

“Wait. You know him?” You repeat, and Daniel nods, ruffling his black mullet. “His room’s, like, three away from mine. He’s studying Theoretical Physics, right? Yeah, he’s always in his room doing school shit, but every weekend he’s out with the upperclassmen. He’s probably out now, ‘cause it’s Friday. How he even charmed them, though, is a mystery.”

Mid-dumpling, you roll your eyes. “Y’know, the hardest part is being partnered with him. But also, even finding what kind of gradual process to relate denial and anger too is weirdly hard. It feels like I could find something, but I haven’t gotten it…quite…” you trail off, your eyes landing on Lia and Daniel across you—they’re smiling softly at each other, and you distinguish their fingers interlocking quietly, as if you wouldn’t notice.

“…yet. Except maybe I have. How would you want to participate in my end-of-term paper?” Their gazes turn to yours, and you nod frantically. “Oh my god, I’m a genius! Seriously! Falling in love! Yes! It’s denial—anger—whatever, whatever! It makes perfect sense. The end is acceptance, too! Oh god, Li, it’s perfect. I will owe you for life if you help me out.”

“Wait, what? You dove straight into it, what—recap, please,” Lia asks, and you compose yourself before explaining giddily.

“Falling in love. It happens gradually, and we can compare it to the stages of grief. Seeing as you and Daniel are headed right there, we can use you as some test subjects. It’s not required to have respondents or subjects, really, it’s just an extensive paper, but it might help get the grade up. This is gonna be great, and if you ever wanna back out, you can, because it’s not mandatory.” Lia and Daniel meet eyes briefly, and then slowly, nod. “Okay, that’s pretty smart,” Daniel says, “I’m up for it. Are you?” Lia nods, slowly and hesitantly, and you smile widely. “You two just saved my Psych grade. I’ll be at Giselle’s tonight. Just…not on my bed.” You grab your keys and phone and bound out of your room, straight into the elevator at the end of the hall.

The elevator door nearly closes when a Converse-clad foot steps in, and your eyes rake up the figure, eventually landing on his face.

“Jesus fuck,” you mumble, “you must be kidding me.”

Mark enters the elevator with a small, teasing smile, hands tucked into his jacket’s pockets. “Hey, dude, what’s up? Was on your floor on my stop down to get some money Lucas owed me,” he says, “this is actually a godsend, because my genius brain found us a project idea. Relate grief to something else gradual? Easy as pie. Falling in lo—”

You cut him off before he can finish, “Falling in love, right. I thought of it first, earlier,” you say profusely, absently noting the pettiness in your tone. He whistles. “No need to get all possessive over an idea the previous classes have used before, man.” You continue, ignoring him. “Whatever. Lucky for our grades, I went the extra mile to get us some test subjects. Do you know the two Chois? Lia and Daniel?”

He nods once, “Yeah, their PDA on Instagram is fucking sickening, but I see your technique, and I like that—we get some extra data from their god awful PDA.” You nod once, and he continues. “It’s nearing 11 on a Friday night. Whose party are you headed to?”

“You’re welcome for the test subjects,” you gripe. “Anyway, I was so giddy about coming up with it, I just left them to…well, fornicate. As a compromise for being lab rats. I texted my…” you realize you’re starting to share too much to a guy you typically dislike talking to, and then there’s a silence in the air that’s painfully awkward.

“You texted your…?” Mark asks. “My friend, but she’ll be home at 1AM, so I’m out to kill time. No parties, just…I dunno.” He nods again, and then the elevator lets out a blissful ding. You step out simultaneously, and then he faces you. “Look, it’s freezing out, you’re in shorts and a puffer coat, and it’s three hours to 1AM, so I doubt you’ll get far.” You scoff at his words despite feeling your legs shake from the breeze outside. “I’ll be fine, dumbass.”

“Just concerned,” he says, in a tone that sounds more blank than annoyed, but he turns and heads toward the door anyway. He swivels back around briefly. “It’s in Johnny’s apartment. Just a couple people, if you get bored freezing.” He jogs outside then, and you inwardly appreciate the small gesture, but again, annoyance returns just as quickly. You linger a bit before heading out yourself, walking briskly to a local Japanese restaurant. You consider this an opportunity to have some me time, some rest after a shitty week in university. Lasting ’til 1AM alone and entertained would not at all be a problem.

You last one ramen bowl and head to Johnny’s apartment.

—

When Johnny Suh answers the door, he’s clad in a makeshift shower curtain gown of sorts, and is flushed and very buzzed all over. He hikes up the top to cover his chest and laughs profusely. “Did Mark invite you?” Behind him is a sizeable group of just about twenty people, which looks like forty in a cramped communal space. You’d been here before—Johnny likes to invite just about anyone to get stoned and listen to Kid Cudi on Fridays, and you had pushed Lia to accompany you before.

You distantly spot the kitchenette, the small living room, and then the two bedroom doors opposing each other. “The rule was to show up wearing something not marketed as clothing, but Mark didn’t follow the rules, so. Anyway, you’re off scot-free, too…” he pauses, “…if you take off the puffer coat. We’ve got heating, anyway. Free booze and weed, too.” You figure being in a flimsy tank top isn’t so bad—you’re sure half the people here are already getting laid or trying to, and nobody would really pay attention to you.

You shrug off the coat as Johnny steps aside to let you in, hugging it close to your body and navigating your way to the kitchen. The granite counters are filled with various bottles of booze, and you also note the cigarettes and blunts lining the island. You peruse the brands before settling on a sealed can of decidedly not-so-cheap-looking beer, and crack it open to take a swig. It’s warm and fucking disgusting, but there’s not much glitz in an “anything but clothing” off-campus college party anyway.

There are several people scattered among the living area, passing around a blunt—another group is playing suck and blow. You make your way over to the cheap couch on the far end of the room, taking a seat on the arm and stretching out your hand to claim the blunt. It’s Jae who passes it to you—Jaehyun Jung, an upperclassman whose infamy (for wearing nothing but toilet paper and running through campus) greatly surpasses him. “Who are you?” he asks, and you holler your name back over the Kanye West song playing in the background. “Mark invited me,” you tack onto the end as compensation.

He nods in understanding, watching you take a drag and pass it back to him. He only hands it back, saying, “It’s nearly done, just finish it,” and getting up to probably get some booze or another blunt.

You scan the area for a better place to cherish your weed, because you’re definitely not going to do it on the arm of a couch housing three couples making out to the high heavens. You spot an open window and a fire escape just beside the kitchen and walk over, ducking into the cool night air. It’s not quiet, it never is, and you treasure the peace that comes with the noise, closing your eyes and trying to milk the last few drags. All that is flushed down the drain when somebody kicks you out of your reverie and your last two drags are falling down, through the grills of the fire escape.

“What the fuck?” You look up to meet, of course, Mark’s gaze, teasing and mischievous.

“That wasn’t fucking funny, asshat. Get away from me.” You get up instantly, ducking back into the house and searching for your coat. It’s (very unfortunately) buried under a couple who have escalated from making out to borderline public indecency.

“Fuck it,” you mumble, swinging the door open and mentally preparing yourself for the cold once you get to the sidewalk, floors down. Mark follows suit, a laugh gracing the atmosphere around the two of you. “You know, I forgot how fun it is to make you pissed off. I did it all the time in eighth grade when I told our teacher you knew the solution to the Physics problems.” You’re fucking pissed. However petty, you’re fucking annoyed that you couldn’t finish the blunt, and you pay no attention to him.

He badgers on anyway. “Hey—it was a mistake, I wanted to say hi to you.” You scoff, finally turning—“Why? Because we’re friends? We’re not. We’re Psych partners, we came from the same high school, we share a couple mutual friends. But you and I are not friends, not objectively, anyway. Please, Mark. I only just re-acquainted myself with you today, but, like, you’re already so annoying!” You’re at the elevator now, and when the doors slide open, you step inside and let them close at once. You barely catch the unreadable look on his face in your annoyance, and you lean against the wall, shutting your eyes and breathing heavily.

How you’d even get to Giselle’s, or how you would wait out the remaining half-hour before she got home, was just up to whichever higher power happened to be witnessing you that night.

—

The door of your professor’s office closes with a saddening click. You stare back at her name, embossed on the wood in bold, in defeat, accepting your fate with a heavy heart. Just fifteen minutes prior, you had entered with a whole spiel prepared on how you just had to swap with somebody from your class so you wouldn’t have to work with Mark. This speech had occurred twice now—with your TA, and then once with your professor. This was your second chance, your redemption: so you prepared notes, you prepared convincing words—you had a point.

But your professor simply shooed you away, muttering how she didn’t have time for you because she was going to be receiving hundreds of papers in a few weeks’ time from a different class and she, quite honestly, couldn’t be bothered. You bite your lip, thinking back to the previous Friday—it was nearing two weeks since your small outburst at Mark. Since then, you’d expected to build a silent rapport of just working, observing Lia and Daniel, and then parting. And that was almost it. You would show up to your so-called “lab rat sessions”, cup of warm caramel latte in hand, and work.

Except Mark would constantly make noise, jeer, swipe your pen, and do other things that got on your nerves.

“You’re going to have to stop trying sometime,” Lia says, backhugging you. She’d been waiting outside. You let your head loll back onto her shoulder and whine. “Do you know when you’re so frustrated you want to cry? Yeah? That’s exactly how it is, Li. I can’t keep up with this for another two, three months. It’s like he’s not even, like, fuck, like he’s not even trying, y’know? We’re building the foundation of a pages-long paper. This isn’t some finals essay he can bullshit in three hours.”

You groan as Lia pulls away from you, whirling you around to face her. “It’ll be fine, I swear to you. I’ll help out, anytime you need it. I promise. If I start hating Daniel, I’ll even pretend like I’m in love with him. Head over heels.” You let yourself laugh and pull out your phone as you two begin to walk towards your dorm.

She tsks. “We’re gonna have a thing tonight, right? Like, a lab rat session?”

You nod, squinting over your calendar app. “Yeah, at around 5:30 to 6. It’ll be quick, but Mark and I are gonna have to stay behind to divide the work for the general paper and then start. Hopefully we can get some outlining done by tonight…so don’t wait up,” you sigh. She smiles apologetically, pinching your waist affectionately.

“Daniel and I will totally help you. He’s a Mark anti now. I told him about the party outburst thing.” You had sent her a slew of texts that night, and like every other story you had told (save for the most private ones), Daniel had caught wind of it. You’re half sure he was capable of blackmailing you at that point. “Good,” you shoot back, “I’m going to need all the anti-Mark force I can get.”

“Why?” You both turn to see Mark standing idly behind you. There’s a beat, and then: “You look like an inane stalker,” you retort, turning to continue walking. Lia follows suit—with the two of you, the vibe of the atmosphere would always come easy. If one was mad, the other would act mad, too.

“Hey,” Mark repeats, falling into step beside you, “why do you need an anti-Mark force? Tell me.” At this point, your nerves are on fire and your blood is boiling, and you’re beginning to envision beating him up on the quad. “Mark, it’s been great, but we’re going to our dorm, and in case you don’t want to catch a restraining order, I suggest you get off at your floor instead of following us like a creep,” you say sweetly, quickening your steps until he’s far behind you, smiling. Fucking asshole.

“I’ll see ya this evening, then,” he teases, and you grumble under your breath.

—

It’s 5:45 when Lia and Daniel leave the library—fifteen minutes early. You and Mark leave ten minutes later, hours before you were supposed to complete your task. You’re fuming, and for once, Mark has the decency to read the room and feel remorse.

The evening had started off well enough, though—Lia and Daniel had showed up, did their thing, described what was happening, and you and Mark had noted it down. And then, well. Mark spilled water all over your planner, which, in hindsight, was definitely unintentional, but in the spur of the moment, you could do nothing but your natural—everybody’s natural—response to getting something precious ruined. You began to cry. “What the fuck,” you sniffled, “is wrong with you?!” You had shaken the majority of water off your planner, but any and all dates had been smudged and bled, and you couldn’t bring yourself to forgive him. “I know I called you annoying, but this is too far,” you had said, watching his face go from teasing to genuinely sorry. “Dude, it was accidenta—”

“I don’t give a fuck—!” You quickly cut yourself off and wipe your tears when you see a young library assistant heading towards your table. Everybody composes themselves—Lia and Daniel straighten out the things on the surface and Mark sits up straight. “Hey,” he says. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but two students already came in with a noise complaint. We’re gonna have to ask you to,” he makes a gesture, “leave for now and come back tomorrow. Also, the puddle on the table…yeah. I’m really sorry.” He leaves, as if to make sure you have no other choice but to just go, and you slump back onto your chair in exhaustion.

“You two can go ahead,” you hear Mark say, “I’m really sorry about this. We’ll clean up and apologize.” Faintly, you hear them get up, and you feel Lia’s hand squeeze yours as she promises a text and food later. You let your eyes remain shut, drinking in the quiet, trying to calm your inner turmoil.

Ten minutes later, when you’re out in the cold November air, Mark finally speaks. You had cleaned up and collected your things in silence. “I’m really sorry,” he says, “it was an accident, for real. I know I tease a lot, but, uh, I’m being serious. I would never have done that on purpose. I see you write shit on that thing a lot, so…I know how much you like it. Treasure it…? I don’t—whatever it is, I’m really sorry. Like, really. T’was an accident. If you need me to pay for it…” You shake your head softly, hugging your damp planner closer to your sweater-clad chest. “It’s okay. Thanks, anyway. For helping. I’ll email you what you have to do. Bye,” you turn and begin walking in the direction of your dorm. The sun is beginning to set, golden orange hues casting a vast array of colors onto the landscape of the city. You sigh softly, heart heavy with annoyance and exhaustion, and speed up before you start having a mini-breakdown.

—

Stage 1: Denial|

Your cursor blinks back at you as you finish typing in your outline for the introduction. It’s early into November, but already, you’ve had to shut your window to shielf yourself from the biting breeze outside. Across you, Lia applies mascara and talks to you. “What are you up to?” she asks, face contorted.

“This godforsaken paper,” you mumble back, “just finished the introduction outline. I’m trying to give a loose definition for each gradual ‘stage.’” Shoving your Macbook off your lap, you get up to stretch. “Which I’ll probably find on Google Scholar, honestly. If you had to give me a definition—what’s denial?”

She hums contemplatively, wand on lash, and then pipes up. “I think it’s just a stage where you can’t face the fact that you’re interested in that person. Like, why them? With Daniel, he wasn’t really my type. So the whole denial was denying I liked him, because…well, yeah. But I think it differs. Some people deny it because they’re shy, or ashamed, or weirded out that they even like them.”

You’ve had your fair share of crushes before, and sure enough, you had denied them all. But that was high school—college, though, had only brought short-lived flings and one night stands; you were an overachiever, much too committed to your own prosperity to pay mind to anybody else for too long. (Except Lia.) So you hadn’t really experienced the whole boyfriend-in-university thing—not that you particularly wanted to, but you were just human; you were curious. Lia had gotten it, and it looked wonderful.

Speaking of—“So, a week without meeting Mark in person, huh? How is that going for you?” You scoff lightly, shaking your head as you pull your hair into a bun. “It’s going just fine. Dandy, actually. We work from our dorms and you and Daniel just update us. It’s a fine arrangement that I regret was not formulated sooner.” Lia nods in understanding, and you watch her pull on a top, mutter I’m out and head outside. For the fifth time this week, you’re alone in the dorm, with nothing but your Alexa playing SZA and your laptop. You pull it onto your lap again, staring at the boldface letters you had typed minutes prior: denial. You had no firsthand experience of being mature and going through denial; not in that way, anyway. You found it stupid that people even denied when it would be less painful to just admit interest.

You blow a raspberry as you research studies related to the term, bored out of your mind.

—

Two days later, you meet Mark again.

You’d also had the pleasure of, for a minute or two, meeting a friend of his, Donghyuck Lee from Economics. He’s loud and amusing and, from your viewpoint, undeserving of somebody as boring as Mark. (That’s from a minute-long intercation.)

At Lia’s insistence (and likely Daniel’s, too), you two met up to properly work and collaborate. In fear of being kicked out again, the four of you had chosen to meet somewhere else—a cafe off-campus affectionately named something along the lines of Saltwater Coffee. Naturally, after Donghyuck leaves, you find yourself sitting idly (awkwardly) beside Mark. “They won’t be long,” he says suddenly, “er, Daniel just texted me. They’re near.” You nod, pursing your lips, eyes trained onto your laptop. “We’re almost done formulating the denial stage and we can start outlining anger and bargaining. This’ll take about a week more—maybe mid to late November? Uh, I know it seems justifiable to slack off with the holidays,” you say, “but I really want us to finish this early. The due date’s in mid-February, so we can pass this on the 14th.” You turn to face him. “Get it? ‘Cause it’s Valentine’s Day.”

He nods. “Okay. No slacking. I get it. The Valentine’s is smart, too.” You nod back in silent understanding, turning back to type frantically into your keyboard.

You hear the door jingle and Lia’s small “hey, guys”, so you look up and offer a smile. “I’m gonna go order everyone some coffee,” Mark says beside you, getting up and shuffling over to the counter. Daniel joins him, and Lia takes a seat across you, her smile knowing and apologetic. “Everything okay?” You blow a raspberry, but smile, anyway. “It’s not so bad. It could be better, but no more banter, just very annoyed auras…? You get it. It’s just been tough trying to divert my focus to this and ignore all the annoyance I feel.”

“Totally, I get that,” she says, “but all the same, I’m glad he’s matured a little bit and lessened all the ribbing.” You smile at that, agreeing, and then the conversation spirals into one about both of your days—“Professor Callahan totally pops a stiffy over Professor Michaelson”, “Daniel tells me Joshua cheated. Yes, on Jess!”, “Mia dropped out the other day and nobody knows why, hope she’s okay”—before Daniel and Mark return, coffee cups in hand. Mark places one next to you, and profusely, you look up at him, who’s just about to sit.

“Thanks, but I don’t drink brewed coff—”

“It’s a caramel latte, the only thing you drink. Heard you say that to Lia once.” He takes a seat and pulls his laptop open.

You stare at him, taking the cup and bringing it to your lips. Sure enough, it’s caramel—thick, and foamy, and sweet. You look up at him again, but he’s busy on Google Scholar, perusing through journals and studies. You shake your head before turning to Lia, who’s already looking at you, expression mirroring yours.

Sweet, she mouths, but you purse your lips and choose not to acknowledge it. “Thanks,” you say quietly, and he hums to say you’re welcome.

Your eyes flicker to him. He’s wearing a knitted sweater, but he’s pulled it up to his elbows. He’s typing quickly, and he can use all his fingers, too (you fail miserably at that), and his brows are furrowed as if he’s stressed, or in a hurry. You’ve never really noticed this much of Mark before. It’s probably, you think absently, because you’re confused. Puzzled at the gesture that you didn’t expect—at all.

After an hour, he angles his laptop to yours. “Nailed the intro. High five?” You open the Google doc on your own browser, and sure enough, the word count has increased monumentally. You can’t deny his knack for writing. “There are a few discrepancies in grammar,” you say instead. “But…okay. This is good.” You ignore his hand, in mid-air, and continue researching.

Lia holds in a giggle, but turns back to Daniel, who, after fifteen minutes, turns to you and Mark. “Lia and I are heading out, guys,” he says, and Lia quickly tacks on. “Hey, if you need me to stay, I can,” she says quickly, but you smile and shake your head.

“This might take a while. Go ahead. See ya at the dorm, Li. Bye, Daniel.” Mark bids his farewells, too, and they leave you alone in the cafe. It’s nearing a three hour crunch when he abruptly gets up to stretch, a low grunt leaving his lips. “I’m exhausted,” he sighs, “but at least we’re nearly done with this whole denial thing.”

“We’re actually only just starting,” you state, “this is going to go through a lot of editing and proofreading.”

He chuckles and walks back to the counter to order something, and you shut your laptop to rest your eyes. Your glasses rest uncomfortably on the bridge of your nose as you breathe deeply. You lose track of time, and you open your eyes ten minutes later, fumbling to get up properly. There’s a panini beside your laptop, wrapped neatly in a tissue and laid on a plate. Mark’s is empty, save for crumbs, and he says nothing.

“Get up,” he remarks teasingly after a while, and you groan in exhaustion. “I am, I’m up,” you mutter, straightening your back and flexing your neck. Inwardly, you wonder if you should thank him for the panini that is obviously yours that you obviously did not buy for yourself.

Then Mark’s hand stretches out to take the panini, and he takes a bite. “Sorry,” he says, “I had to put my second sandwich in your space. This table’s a little small.” You hum back in acknowledgement, nodding once. “It’s, uh…all good,” you respond, voice small as you type into your laptop. Internally, your body fills slowly with humiliation and confusion, but you stay quiet, and that’s how the rest of the night goes: a silent, steady beat of keyboard clicking and the occasional question.

No banter, no nothing—it’s a godsend, yes, it is, but you can’t help but miss the abrasive, playful conversations the two of you had built up over the previous several weeks. But really—had you truly assumed he had bought you a panini? As if a coffee wasn’t enough? You felt at odds with yourself for even expecting such a gesture from the guy whose main habit was to annoy you to the ends of the Earth.

“It’s late,” he says, as if he’s reading your mind and knowing you’re absolutely mortified inside. “Let’s head home.” You nod, deeming the night’s work satisfactory—maybe even beyond, considering the amount of effort you both put into the output. You shove your laptop and charger into your bag and pocket your phone, lingering awkwardly and waiting for Mark to finish packing up. He’s particular with it—he has little sections in his backpack for the wires and chargers, and even his AirPods, and his laptop.

“Very organized,” you find yourself commenting offhandedly, your tone taking on a teasing edge. He glares playfully back at you.

“Sorry I don’t want my wires to break,” he shoots back, eyeing your flimsy tote bag, “unlike some people.” You roll your eyes and, against your strongest wills, a smile appears on your lips, albeit a small one. His eyes linger on your smile for a little bit before he clears his throat and zips up his knapsack. “Let’s, er, go. Thank Jesus we’re in the same building.” When you exit, the air bites at you despite the jacket covering your body, and you quicken your pace. “It’s cold as hell.”

“Ironic,” Mark says. You hide a smile.

—

That’s what November brings you—the next week and a half are composed of just slowly learning to get used to working with Mark again and going home late into the night, crunching to the max.

Your paper begins to take on more and more structure, and two out of the six days you’ve met, Mark has set down a caramel latte for you to arrive to. The acoustic music slowly phases into holiday guitar, and the coat rack at the entrance is weighed down more and more as the days pass, preparing to welcome December.

You and Mark work silently, save for the rare banter and eyeroll, and very gradually, the annoyance that had bubbled up within seconds before had sank down. You’re not friends, per se—it’s just that the frustration and exasperation had lessened considerably.

You were civil. That’s it. You won’t try to deny that you’ve been thinking about this a little too much—about what your “friendship” had become with Mark. You hadn’t snapped at him in days, and he hadn’t tugged at your ballpen in even longer. It wasn’t that you had cowered him into silence by crying over your planner—it may have instigated it, but his behavior was…different.

More calm, more sure. Less childish. He would still tease you, but not as much. It’s nearing mid-November now, and you’ve successfully done much of your introduction and denial, needing less and less of Lia and Daniel’s presence. (Which you’re sure they’re grateful for.) But being left alone with Mark isn’t as bad as you once thought—

“Hello. Earth to you,” you distantly hear, and you whip your head in the direction of the voice as you pace back to your dorm building. Mark stares blankly back at you. “What,” you mumble back. He quirks a brow before continuing. “I was saying, I think I need to take a rain check tomorrow. The, uh”—he clears his throat—“um, yeah.”

You eye him. “Okay…?”

He nods profusely, “Yeah, all good.” The walk continues in silence, the sun finally setting down behind the Manhattan skyline beyond you and the breeze taking on a chillier temperature. You sigh softly, fatigue overtaking you as you stare at the building nearing you. “If you take a rain check, just make sure you write it within the day or after,” you say, half-sternly and half-tiredly. He mumbles a “got it” and you both jog up the steps to the lobby, where you run into, by some weird twist of the day, a small group of anti-abortion protesters.

“Jesus Christ,” Mark mutters under his breath. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” You rub the bridge of your nose in your fingers, choosing to tune them out and instead maneuver your way through the door. Before you can even take a step, though, they’re all up in your face with pamphlets and brochures and a guitar. “Excuse me,” you grunt, trying to gently push them aside, but they only come on stronger. “A child is a child,” they say. “If you know anybody who’s—”

“Is this your new initiative? Preying on college students on school grounds, unaccounted for?” Mark asks from behind you. You turn to find he’s filming and stifle a laugh. “I’m surprised nobody’s kicked you out. Won’t be long, now,” he adds with a smile.

You tune out nearly everything else—it’s really just them telling Mark to stop recording and him retorting with equally snarky phrases. It’s not until maybe after a solid two minutes of back and forth that one of them, a weird middle-aged woman, pulls out a burgundy gummy bear from a bag and pushes it into Mark’s camera. He takes it from her and examines it, puzzled. “That,” she says matter-of-factly, “is the approximate size of a fetus. It’s big. It’s sentient, alive. What, I beg of you, what would you do?”

Mark squints at it. Then he pops it into his mouth, takes your hand, and runs straight to the elevator across the floor.

“There’s a bunch of anti-abortion people outside, it’s not cool!” He hollers to the receptionist before the doors close with a damning click.

There’s a beat, and then.

Both of you are doubling over in laughter. “Why the hell would y—why would you do that?! You’re insane!” The response is: “Because they’re not cool! They’re fuckin’ annoying! So I ate their baby!” There are tears in your eyes, your laughter so hard it’s nearing silent—Mark’s, though, is loud and annoying sounding, though you seem to not mind so much. The laughter subsides when the ding of your floor sounds and you straighten yourself up. Getting into a different position reminds you of the very there, very obvious brushing of your hand against Mark’s, which he’d taken just moments earlier, post-baby eating.

You freeze and jerk your hand away. “I’ll, um, go now,” you say, “I’ll see you tomorr—no, the day after.” Against your wills, you meet his eyes, and you’re surprised to find that he’s already looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face. “Okay,” he says, his eyes not leaving yours. Your heart beats faster at a very small increment, but you head out and semi-run to your room, swinging it open and leaning against it.

You look up to find Lia and Daniel engaged in a heated Monopoly match. You make no noise, mind (and heart, but you can’t tell why) racing fast. You watch them play for a second before they both look up slowly.

“You’re smiling like a goddamn idiot,” Daniel says. Your face falls immediately. “I’m, um, no I’m not,” you say casually, pacing over to your bed and flopping onto it. Lia laughs loudly.

“That sounded so freaked. Like we’re your mom and you just brought weed home kind of freaked.” Pause.

“Are you hiding something from me?” She rises from her spot to look at you, head in pillow and all, and you let out a muffled “no!”, probably too defensive for your own good.

It’s Daniel’s turn to snort. You look up and glare at him, “You’re getting too comfortable for your own good. You need to humble yourself, Daniel. What’s it again? Oh yeah, Yeonjun, right?” He rolls his eyes at the use of his Korean name and turns back to the Monopoly board.

Lia flops atop you, eliciting a grunt from your lips. “Are you okay? Did somebody flirt with you? Did Mark finally fuck off and leave you alone properly?”

At the mention of Mark, your heart races—you will it to stop, and audibly groan in the process. “What is it, you bitch?” Lia asks, tugging on a section of your hair. “It’s nothing, Li! Nothing, I promise.” She glares at you before walking to Daniel and covering his ears. Instantly, he begins to let out a chorus of Lalala, and deeming the environment safe enough, you let it slip.

“Mark and I held hands. But it—”

“You what?!”

“It really, really doesn’t mean anyth—”

“How can that not mean anything? It’s hand holdi—”

“If you would listen to the backstory you’d know!” She pauses, and then uncovers Daniel’s ears and knees him.

“Okay, get out. Monopoly postponed, Jun,” she says, pushing him out insistently. He barely collects his phone and keys before he’s out, but you swoon silently when you catch him pressing a short goodbye kiss to her forehead before actually leaving. She turns immediately, fire and curiosity awfully evident in her face.

She nears you. “Explain.”

And that’s what sparks the story of the weird protesters, Mark’s power move, and the unintentional hand hold that lasted a few moments too long. She nods the entire time, laughing, and then her face straightens out again. You can almost hear the gears in her head turning as she analyzes the situation, and then she nods once.

“Okay. Perfectly justifiable to freak out.” Another pause. “But why were you smiling?” You stare blankly back at her, head working impossibly quick to formulate a reply. You’ve taken too long now, judging by the way Lia is looking at you with the most shit-eating grin on her fucking face. You groan.

“You like him, you bitch!”

You shake your head, facing her. “I don’t, dude. Trust me. I just…it was a fun experience, so naturally I’d be laughing. And smiling. But I’m just not interested in Mark! I’m not,” you fumble, being completely honest.

You didn’t—not even if you looked in the mirror and asked yourself. But you couldn’t deny the feelings you felt in the ten seconds from the elevator to your room, your heart racing and your fist curling and uncurling. When you look at Lia again, she’s still smiling, flushed. “You like him,” she says into her palm, which she’s slapped over her mouth in disbelief. You stare back at her, your expression baffled. “If I did,” you begin, getting up to discard your shirt, “I’d have told you by now. It’s really not that big of a deal unless you make it out to be.”

After that, you and Mark spend nearly three weeks walking on eggshells around each other. While conversations are no longer avoided, and you could talk without getting exasperated or too embarrassed, finger brushes are frequent, and eye contact only makes you extremely nervous. You had worked until the second stage—anger—already, but you’d still been polishing the denial and introduction. Considering November wasn’t over and the paper was due February, you figured you were moving at an okay pace. Besides, a lot of your friends hadn’t even begun.

—

There are two instances where you rush home, mortified beyond belief.

The first when when you struck up a conversation with the cute, Australian barista. Scrawled in big penmanship on his name tag is Chan. You had brought up, in passing, how often you’re at the cafe and how you probably deserve a free drink. He replied with a low hum, and you dialed down your flirty tone, slightly embarrassed. But not really. You’ve rejected plenty of people before. It’s when you’re already paying for your drink that he replied, handing you your (for a change) iced matcha with a small grin.

“I’d have flirted with you weeks ago if you didn’t have your boyfriend with you all the time. He’s always buying you your drinks.” You spluttered for a good second, staring at him incredulously. “He’s not my boyfriend,” you finally said.

He had shrugged, nonchalant. “He sure as hell looks at you a lot for someone you’re not dating. And you do it just as much, if not more. I’m observant, by the way. Not a stalker.” You had taken your cup and paced over to the other end of the cafe, sat across Mark, cheeks heated.

He looked up, brow raised. You shook your head.

The second time was when Donghyuck graced you both with his presence. You quickly found out that he was a magnetic presence and you both shared similar interests. The energy you both created was both amusing and annoying to Mark.

Although you kept quiet mostly, you enabled Donghyuck’s incessant teasing, which annoyed Mark to the ends of the Earth. “You’re a dork. Isn’t he?” You look up and nod with a smile. Mark rolls his eyes, sending Donghyuck into a laughing frenzy. Mark just grunts and continues typing.

Hyuck had made a joke about how two Physics textbooks discussed why the sad man named Mark owns two of them and didn’t have a life, and you laughed.

You didn’t usually laugh, not around Mark, at least, since it was safe to say you didn’t have any source of entertainment in such a boring guy. But you laughed at the witty joke, and Donghyuck, without thinking much, had said in passing: “Mark, I guess you’re right about everything about her being pretty.”

Mark said nothing, typing. You said nothing. Nobody said anything, not even a sly Donghyuck or, from the counter, an even slyer Chan.

—

When you see Mark next, it’s three days later, and it’s, for the second time, in Johnny’s apartment.

Lia had asked if you wanted to tag along, and you found no harm in going. (“You’re going because Mark is” becomes Lia’s favorite phrase of the night, so much it’s spread to Daniel, who you’d succumbed to and spilled everything to hours prior.) The walk there has something boiling low in your gut and you’re quiet, in fear you might end up vomiting in nerves or saying something stupid. Lia teases you, but her hand clasping yours reassures you, and you squeeze it tightly.

You get there late—it’s past 1AM, and you have a sense of deja vu walking into the cramped space. It’s fuller this time—people are creeping into the bedrooms to smoke in private or do some other things, but suffice to say it’s crowded as fuck.

“Want a drink?” Lia hollers, and you nod over the music. Johnny’s neighbor is another upperclassman named Doyoung, though he’s mainly referred to as Doie by just about everybody around him.

You’ve seen his girlfriend call him bunny a few times, though you’ve long desired to repress that memory.

Judging by the fact that you can faintly hear a different song from the next room, the party has probably extended to Doyoung’s. There’s quite a gathering this week—the rich freshman who you’d befriended once before, Chenle, and his horde of friends are here; from Lia, who hands you a drink, you learn that Kun and Sicheng, two incredibly attractive juniors, are here, too—in Doie’s, though. The party only intensifies, which is hard, because Johnny’s apartment is very tiny.

Eventually, you find yourself in the bathroom, smoking a joint you’d grabbed out of the clammy hands of a tipsy Chenle and kicking a couple out under the guise that you’re Johnny’s cousin. Chenle had protested but eventually given in, pulling a new one out of his pocket.

The bathroom light is white and harsh, but there’s a very funky lamp at the corner. From your place inside the dry (and thankfully clean…looking) bathtub, you eye it. It’s a tall one in the shape of a glass of margarita.

You heave yourself up and find the switch, and then when it’s on, you giggle at the green light emitting from it. You have absolutely no idea why Johnny, Jaehyun, or their roommate Jungwoo (3J, as some call them) have a decorative, margarita-shaped green lamp, and in their bathroom nonetheless, but you shut off the main light and return to smoking your blunt. Deciding your ass aches far too much, you lean against the tile wall and cherish the smoke.

The door opens abruptly, and you curse, pushing it back closed.

“I have explosive diarrhea,” you say robotically, using the same excuse you did for the previous three couples that showed up.

From the other side, you hear a shrill laugh and sound of confusion. When you peer over the other side and see Mark, you groan and laugh. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I saw you come in. Like, twenty minutes ago.”

“I’m cherishing the party privately.”

Mark ushers himself into the dark space and shuts the door. He makes a show of locking it, as if to show you it’s possible to do so. The sound of it locking sends a wave of nerves up your spine.

“I didn’t lock it in case a medical emergency happens and they have to rush inside.”

Mark quirks his brow. “I doubt they would think to go inside the restroom and not panic and call 911, you know.”

You shrug in indifference and take another drag, reluctantly offering it to him.

He takes it, and you pause for a second to observe him. His hair, dark, and which usually covers his entire forehead like a broom or at least parts in the middle slightly, is now styled differently.

He’s in a fitting black shirt and blue jeans, and, upon your closer inspection, silver rings adorn his fingers. You will yourself to look down. It’s dark. “What’s that you’re holding?” You ask instead, trying not to extend your stare at his shoulders.

“Your puffer coat,” he says, tossing it to you. “Left it last time.”

“That time when you annoyed the shit out of me, right,” you retort.

“Yes, exactly that time. That was ages ago. Weeks ago. Look at us now.”

“Us now—what, still disliking each other?”

He laughs humorlessly, but doesn’t entertain you further. He turns to the lamp instead. “Do you know I was there when they moved this in,” he begins, gesturing to it, “Jae got it at some weird, awful flea market, and he had to buy some extra wiring to fix it or whatever. I was doing Physics homework. It was at the start of this school year. And I bet you didn’t know…” he bends down and reaches to the base of the lamp, pressing a button, “that it changes color.”

The room is bathed in red now, and you swallow. “Interesting,” you manage to say, despite the racing in your head. “Very,” he responds, taking a step closer to you. You gaze up at him. He’s tall. You breathe softly. You nod in agreement. You don’t know what to do. You want to punch him and kiss him and leave all at once.

You want to kiss him, oh God, you want to kiss him.

“Oh God,” you say softly, out loud. Oh fuck. Too much weed?

He inches closer, leaving the blunt on the rim of the sink. “Why?” He smiles a little and you smile back, nervous. He’s so close now, and he smells so good—like cologne and laundry and weed. You shake your head. “Nothing,” you mumble back.

He’s even closer now, eyes boring into yours. You adjust your strap, a nervous habit. He takes your hand and does it for you. “I like this song,” he says casually, like he’s not playing with the strap of your dress. “Do you know what it’s called?” It’s vaguely familiar to you, but you shake your head.

“It’s Jhene Aiko,” he replies, and you nod. You gravitate closer.

You stare at him. He stares back. “I’m high,” you say. You giggle. “I had a brownie and that blunt.”

“That’s a lot,” he says. “Don’t finish the blunt, ‘kay?” You nod back, and giggle again. In two seconds, your nervous mechanism has kicked in and you’re laughing like a psycho. “I’m high,” you repeat, and then he kisses you, effectively sobering you up.

Huh. He kisses you, effectively sobering you up. He kisses you.

You kiss back, shocked and relieved, deepening it, trying to get as much of him as possible. His hands are big and wide and warm, traveling all over you. You want him. Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, lips molding against yours deliriously.

“Want you,” you say when his hands play with the hem of your dress, teetering closer and closer to your core. “I said, I want you,” you whine, “now.” Mark only laughs, his hands under your dress and playing with the lace waistband of your underwear.

“I like how this feels,” he mumbles. “Wanna take a look.” You whimper, hiking your leg up and nodding. “Please, just…touch me,” you say breathlessly. “Please.”

“I will,” he says, voice calm. “You’re being good.” You can’t deny the noise you make at the praise, breathy and loud. You pull him in again, drunk for more, your hands raking through his hair. It’s dark, the both of you basking in the small red light. Mark hikes your dress up, inching it higher, slowly, until he sees the hem of your white lace underwear. He grunts and pulls at it. “I love this,” he says. “So fuckin’, Jesus.”

You giggle against the smile. He toys with your panties for a bit before finally pulling them down, watching them sink to your ankles. “Hot,” he jokes, and you laugh in disbelief. “Why would you even be joking abou—”

“Mark! Let’s go, it’s 2:30!” Donghyuck’s voice is just as loud and clear as it would be if you weren’t separated by a door. Jolted, you and Mark instinctively break apart and stare at the rattling door. “Maaaark,” he sing-songs, knocking to a beat. You stare at Mark, waiting for him to respond.

“I have explosive diarrhea,” he says. You stifle a guffaw, pulling your panties up.

He pouts, tapping your ass. “Bullshit,” Donghyuck says from outside. “I’m cooomin’ in!”

In the span of a minute, where you realize Donghyuck is not bluffing and in fact has a stolen bathroom key from Jungwoo’s bedside drawer, you manage to shove yourself into the bathtub and hide yourself with the curtain. Mark switches the light back on, much to both of your disappointment, and pretends to smoke the blunt you’d left on the sink fifteen minutes ago. Ergo: pre-kiss.

You find your phone on the bathtub floor and grip it, turning the brightness down. You have a plethora of messages and voicemails from Lia, five calls from Daniel, and an interesting iMessage of Donghyuck’s red, weed-induced eyes from an unknown number. It could be anybody, and that scares you.

The texts are all frantic, and they’re the last things that bring you out of your high and back to reality. Where are u, who u with?, u getting railed??!, Have you seen mark?

“Hyuck, if I actually did have a shitstorm coming out of my ass, you’d be so sorry for breaking in,” you hear Mark say. You sink lower into the bathtub, awaiting Donghyuck’s voice. “You were the one who suggested we go at 2:30, and you’ve been smoking weed for the longest time, dipshit,” he says, “now let’s go. I haven’t seen your Psych girl all night, so you can cry about it at home.” You faintly detect Mark protesting and then, “Let me just freshen up! Just go ahead.”

Reluctantly, you peek out and find Mark alone. You get up and fix your dress.

You’re sober now. The red lights are gone. It’s just you and Mark, plain and simple. Your feelings haven’t gone away, though. You’re fucking fucked. You want him to fuck you. Oh, fuck.

“Go,” you say instead, spluttering. “And I’ll see you. Tuesday.”

You leave first despite yourself, not turning around for even a split second, finding a worried (and then relieved) Lia and taking five consecutive tequila shots to down the nerves and denial bubbling in your system. She raises a brow, but you refuse to even meet her eyes, head and heart pounding impossibly fast. You want to kiss him again. So, so bad. But what the fuck did you just let happen?

—

Stage 2: Anger|

Lia hadn’t pressed, and you were nervous, but it was getting easy to diverge the details of what happened during Johnny’s party. You had instead opted to work alone, too much of a coward to even see Mark’s face. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you feared you might just kiss him if you ever saw him. So you spent days at class working, and then at your dorm working, adjusting your route to avoid, as much as possible, Mark or Hyuck’s buildings and that godforsaken cafe. You did text Mark, though, and the exchanges were brief, not even a “thank you” or “good morning” preceding them. It was awful.

Working alone forced you into a heavy load of retrospection. You would think deeply, like how you are now, spiraling into a series of questions where you studied the play-by-play of what happened in the bathroom, up against the wall. You liked it. A lot. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t let yourself. Why it even happened…God. You mentally berated yourself for giving into it. Didn’t you hate him? Or at least dislike him? Didn’t you take pleasure in scolding him or fighting with him?

“You’re freaking me out,” Lia says from her bed. She’s been staring at you. “You’ve been lying on your bed staring at the ceiling for twenty straight minutes.” She walks over to you, flopping next to you, her arms winding around your body. “You can tell me anything.”

“I know,” you say, nervous. You gulp.

“Okay. If you’re n—”

“Mark and I kissed.”

She sits up and turns to look at you.

“Made out, more like. We were going to fuck if we didn’t get interrupted.” You’re mortified, refusing to meet her gaze. When you look up, her face is even, but you know she’s bubbling over with giddiness inside. “That is so fucking great, dude,” she replies. “Why are you so embarrassed?”

“Because it’s Mark,” you whine. “He’s not…I don’t know.”

She lies back down. “You’re overthinking this.” You laugh, poking her waist. “I know, but I just…I feel like he might not like me much anymore.” You recount the way you left him hanging, despite the lack of awkward air and the potential to talk and become something. She tsks but justifies it, because she’s so good at that, being a mediator, and you continue with your day quietly.

Your mind is always on it, though, his hands and his lips, and you’ve scoured Spotify for the song playing that he had commented on.

It’s called Pussy Fairy. You cannot make it up. It’s a weird title, but the song is heavenly, and you can’t deny when it’s full blast on your AirPods and your hand is creeping closer and closer there, trying desperately to replicate what you felt in that moment. When you’re not sated, ashamed and sighing, you resort to working on your paper. There are moments where both you and Mark are working at the same time, and you hate yourself for getting all flustered when it happens.

—

It’s a Tuesday, in the early afternoon, when you’re out of class and cleaning out the little litter in your dorm, repasting whatever decorations fell off, et cetera. You have the time, anyway, and it wouldn’t hurt to fix the place up a bit. You’re halfway into re-stringing Lia’s fairy lights when someone knocks on the door, jolting you. You curse under your breath, hopping off her bed to swing the door open and reveal—

“What is up?!” Donghyuck grins back at you. His hand is raised in a high-five invitation, which you hesitantly reciprocate. “Mark tells me you’re meeting today, and that I should come remind you, since it seems like you forgot. He says you haven’t texted all day. Since I was on this floor—do you know Jeno Lee? Do you know it’s so amusing how Mark, Jeno, and I all have the same surname? Anyway. I was here on your floor to remind Jeno about an Econ presentation, and Mark texts me and goes, if you’re with Jeno, then remind you—you as in you, you—to come meet me and work.”

He talks so goddamn fast. “You talk so goddamn fast.”

He just guffaws, high-fiving you again. “Well, you get my point, right? Meet Mark at the cafe and work is all he said to do. If you wanna.” You nod slowly, absorbing his words. “Tell him I’ll be a little late,” you say simply, and as you’re about to shut the door, he talks again, his voice quieter this time. “I know you were hiding behind the curtain.”

You pull the door open again, so fast a minuscule gust of wind washes over both of your faces. “You’re kidding,” you say, “you’re kidding.” You stare at each other for a second before his solem features break into a smile. “I am. Mark spilled everything to me, so I decided to trick you.” Relief and annoyance break over your system as you swat Donghyuck’s shoulder. “You’re a dick,” you spit. “You’re bringing a bad image to Econ majors.”

He merely laughs and closes the door himself, light brown hair fluffing with the severity of his laugh (cackle.) Slightly annoyed, you drag yourself to get dressed, dread building up in your stomach at the prospect of seeing Mark again. Not when your mind conjures up what happened everytime you just see his name. Or the word mark. You’ve been out of it since it happened, not even responding to your usual heated debates with the conservative Trump supporter in class. You suppose the best way to confront it is to simply confront it.

When you get there, though, it’s clear that confrontation would not be an option. Immediately, when you sit, the air shifts into something oddly familiar—the atmosphere between the two of you when you first got partnered up. Except now, Mark won’t even give you a pinch of attention, or banter, instead typing his questions into the document to avoid verbal conversation. (He is a fucking petty bitch, you’ll give him that.)

You stroll over to the counter, pout set on your lips. “Hello,” Chan says politely, and you just smile half-heartedly. “Lover’s quarrel?” He teases, and you roll your eyes. “He’s ignoring me,” you respond, watching him make you a latte. “And we’re not dating. We never were.”

“Mm, right,” he says, finishing and setting your drink in front of you. You laugh a little, taking it. “No. We weren’t. But I’ll update you.”

When you return, Mark’s looking at you, quiet as ever. You break his gaze and continue working, working and working until the sun sets, nestled deep behind the horizon. When you look up again, the sky is already dark, city lights providing solace to the place. You look at Mark quizzically, as if to ask him what time you should both leave, but he just shrugs. “Any time,” he states plainly, and huffing, you get up.

“I’ll go right ahead then,” you say, trying your best to sound annoyed and get your message across. He says nothing, watching you pack up your stuff and sling your bag over your shoulder, and then eventually, leave.

Daniel is the first to see you in your raged, annoyed state—you meet him in the elevator of the lobby, your blood boiling and your fists balled. Knowing you’re headed to the same floor, he presses the button, ruffles his hair, and then lets the silence take over. And then, “What’s going on?” You breathe deeply, turning to him with a tired look on your face. “Mark’s going on,” you mumble, “he was ignoring me the entire time. And to think he was the one who requested my presence! It makes no sense. Why would he ignore me when we can just talk about it?”

“About what?”

It suddenly occurs to you that Daniel knows about your weird feelings for Mark, but not how they culminated. You splutter. “Um, about us. Everything.” Daniel looks amused, but the doors open, and you thank them for the temporary exit from the topic. He stops you right outside, though, and pulls out two ticket, card-looking things. “Wait, um. Listen, Lia and I are going to reach our seven-month…anniversary, I guess, of, y’know, being a thing. I know it seems really small, but I want to give her a little something out of appreciation, so I got us a room at this ski lodge outside the city.”

“That’s so sweet,” you say honestly, “but I must admit, it comes on sort of stalker-y. Like you’re whisking her off out of the city.”

He beams even louder. “That’s why you’re coming. With Mark!”

You gape back at him. “Did you miss the whole I-hate-him thing that happened in there?” You jab your finger towards the closed elevator doors, disbelief written across your face. He laughs. “Sometimes you can’t keep hiding behind”—he begins walking to your room, and you follow suit—“emotions, like anger. When I liked Lia, there was a point where I was just pretending to alienate her so I wouldn’t have to face that I was starting to love her. Like her. And you know, she did it right back.”

“Oh, quit it,” you scoff, insistent. “You’re lecturing me like you’ve been married a decade.”

“That’s what I want,” he says, and you gag. “The first step to that would be ski lodge trip, so you’re coming!”

You’re in front of your room now, and you pinch his wrist as he reaches for the handle, gaining his full attention. “I’ll gladly go,” you whisper, “if Mark’s out.” Daniel just laughs, shaking his head. “No, no. An overnight trip would delay your paper severely. Plus, they have two beds per room.”

“We’ll be staying in the same roo—hey, Li,” you say, quickly cutting your angry rant off when she opens the door, her face confused (to say the least.)

“Mm, hey,” she says, ushering the two of you in. “How long were you two out there?” Daniel shrugs, ruffling his hair and then pressing a kiss on Lia’s forehead. You boo from your place on your bed, buried under your duvet. “You both suck,” you holler, “always sexing it up in a sacred space. AKA my room.” Lia just grins and jumps on top of you, drawing grunts from you both. Daniel seats himself on the floor and busies himself with his phone. “How was Mark,” she whispers into your hair, and you groan.

“Bad,” you respond, “I’m so annoyed. We’re back to square one.” She makes an apologetic noise and gets up with a sigh, adjusting the strings of her pullover and then hugging Daniel. You watch them. You want to kiss Mark again. Life sucks that way.

—

Predictably, Mark turns down the offer of the ski lodge. He’s polite about it, too, especially since he and Daniel have grown a little bit closer since the start of your project. Daniel is, by no means, a “Mark anti”, but he would participate in the ribbing sometimes. Still, he’s insistent on the trip, saying it’s the best way to welcome December and that the forecast predicts a nice, thick layer of snow. It takes a week and two coffees everyday for Mark to give in, under the condition that he buy his own room when you get there.

Which, honestly, really, you have no problem with. Really, you think to yourself as you unceremoniously shove a knitted sweater into your bag. Really. Lia, who had graciously accepted the surprise, watches you abuse your bag, shoving sweater and scarf inside like they want to murder you. “Relax,” she says after a while. You laugh, playing it off (not so) casually.

The drive up there, courtesy of Daniel and a borrowed Prius, is fun, and cramped, but still decent, considering it was just an hour long. You’re in the back with Lia, and Mark is in charge of the AUX, which, of course, comes with its own bout of jokes. You even find the heart to participate and laugh in a few, not daring to meet his eyes. But all his songs are so fucking good. Frank Ocean, Jhene Aiko, SZA, and smaller indie artists flow from the speaker under his phone. The car ride has its share of epic karaoke moments—Mark plays ABBA, and Queen, solely to make sure everybody is belting out to the high heavens.

You get there when the sky’s purple and orange and there are some skiiers scattered around, though, since it’s not the proper holiday period, not too much. You trek over to the main lodge and that’s where Daniel pays for his reservations, and he and Lia retire to their room and promise to get up for dinner. You’re, again, alone with Mark in the lobby as you both stare at each other, willing the other to get up first. He does, to buy his own room like he said he would, and you can faintly hear the exchange from your seat on their nice, fluffy couch.

“I’m sorry, sir. We’re renovating a majority of the rooms for the holidays. That’s why reservations were a prerequisite for staying here.”

Mark sighs. “Okay, right. I’m so sorry. Um”—it’s at this point that you go up next to him, polite smile on your face, ready to take the room key and fuck off—“could we just get an extra blanket, please? For one of the beds.” The receptionist gives a curt smile, handing over the keycard and nodding. “That’ll be one queen-sized warm blanket, then,” she hums, typing away. The receptionist beside her goes to the back, presumably to get the blanket. Mark nods, smiling. “For two queen-sized beds, it must be a big room for both of them to fit comfortably,” he comments offhandedly, fiddling with the card.

The receptionist chuckles. “There is only one bed, sir.”

Oh, God. “Oh, God,” you whisper. “One bed?” She nods with an eye-crinkling smile, like her words have not just rained hell upon the two people across her. “One bed and a sofa,” she corrects herself, reading the information on the computer by the desk. Not wanting to risk your last shred of sanity, you smile profusely, walking quickly towards your room which, thankfully, is on the same floor, at the end of the hall. It’s a small, quaint place that would be honest-to-God perfect if not for the fact that—

“There’s one bed,” Mark sighs, the truth clicking into place. “Daniel is a fucking shithead.” You drop your bag onto the carpeted floor, surveying the room with a scrutinizing gaze. It’s sizable—a bed, a couch, a window. There’s a small wooden desk that looks like its legs can barely hold its weight, and then another door, leading to the bathroom. It’s not bad at all. But you’re exhausted, the sun’s long gone, and your resolve is shredding away as the seconds tick by. “Take the couch,” you say dismissively, “or the carpet.” You make a beeline for the bed, but Mark’s arm wraps around your waist, effectively stopping you.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod “Shut up and let go of me, dick,” you stutter out. Mark loosens his grip and you shove him off, glaring at him. He gazes back down at you, a glint of amusement in his eyes. “We can’t just make up terms without negotiation,” he says matter-of-factly, and you blow a raspberry. “Fine. Let’s negotiate then. I’m a girl and that puts me above you because chivalry isn’t dead, thus, boom, I get the bed.”

“I was in the uncomfortable passenger seat all day and my lower back hurts,” he counters.

“My legs are wobbly.”

“Bullshit. My back aches.”

“You already said that, it’s invalid.”

The back and forth only intensifies, your arguments growing more and more bizarre, until finally, your volume is so high Lia says she can hear it faintly, four doors down.

“The couch looks comfy,” you try, but Mark stands firm.

“Do you know what? The bed is big. It’s a big bed. And we’re not going to take up much space. If we divide the bed with the sofa pillows…” you pick up the cushions and line them up neatly along the middle, “…then we can sleep beside each other without having to make contact with each other.” He seems convinced, stepping closer to the bed and nodding. “Okay. I get first dibs on the shower.”

“Asshole,” you mutter, but you let him anyway. You’ve unpacked nearly all your things and he isn’t done yet, so you’ve resorted to scrolling mindlessly through Tiktok and laughing at just about everyone that pops up on screen. Mark finally exits after what feels like forever, and you keep your eyes trained on your screen to avoid looking at him. From your peripheral vision, he is very much shirtless. There are no words exchanged, the thickness in the air only building bit by bit.

—

Three hours later, post-dinner, post-abandoning the thought of working on your paper, you’re stumbling into your room after helping the very tipsy couple of the night into theirs. You’re beyond tired now, and you can tell Mark is, too, despite the lack of eye contact or communication between you. You don’t even look at him, brushing your teeth and removing your makeup and clipping your hair up into a bun. It’s when he does the same, and you’re both in bed, using your phones, that he finally breaks the silence.

“I’m not mad,” he says. His voice is even and calm, and you quickly shut your phone off and sit up, peering over the pillow boundary you had created. You look at him expectantly before he sighs and continues. “Why did you leave?”

You stand up, getting out, trying to increase distance. You’ve never really liked confrontation. “I was weirded out,” you spill, “and scared…? I guess with the nearness of being caught, and with all the lights on, I was just shocked back to reality.”

He sits up. “What’s reality?”

“I don’t—know,” you splutter, getting back on the bed. “Not kissing you?”

He laughs, and then it becomes silent. “Right. Let’s sleep, then.” Without another word, he pulls his lamp off, and only the white moonlight is left illuminating the both of you. Shucking yourself under the covers, feeling your heart practically thump out of your chest. You honestly think he can hear it, or at least feel it. Suddenly the boundary doesn’t do much. You turn away from him, nervous, and you can faintly hear his breathing even out. You shut your eyes for a second. When you open them again, he’s looking right at you. “Just checking to see if you’re asleep,” he says quietly. You nod. And then you lean upwards, just a touch, so your lips nearly brush slightly. “Night,” you say, before turning to sleep for real.

You’re not sure when. And how. Sure, you faintly remember digging your legs sleepily through the sheets to find warmth and tangling Mark’s in your own. But still—when you’re up, the pillow fort is at your feet, hanging precariously off the four post bed, and your back is against Mark’s chest. His breath fans lightly over your hair and you blearily register what happened overnight. His arm is slung over your middle, it’s quiet, and oh Christ, he is hard.

It’s fairly late. He’s hard. The antique clock mounted up on the wall tells you it’s around nine, which essentially gave you seven hours of sleep. He’s hard. You bask in the warmth of Mark for a while before your resolve solidifies and you gently push his arm off from its position on your hips. He only comes on stronger, wrapping fully around your waist, mumbling incoherence into your hair. He’s hard. You squeeze your eyes shut, summoning sleep to overcome you quickly, but it never does. Dread overcomes you as you feel your underwear grow damp.

“Mm,” Mark grunts, his hand around your waist loosening. You move away but his head suddenly lolls into the crook of your neck, his lips touching the side of it. You whimper. He’s a fucking asshole, even when he’s asleep. You pinch his arm, jolting him to half-awakeness, and you roll away, despite your body’s protests.

He blinks his eyes open. “Sorry, shit,” he says, voice deep and ridden with sleep. You’re fucked.

“It’s okay,” you splutter instead. “Just go back to sleep.” You faintly register that you sound just as exhausted as he does, and you bury your head back into the covers. Everything, plus the sound of his voice, has you dripping, and you breathe in deeply to poorly disguise a whimper. He chuckles, already half-asleep, from where he is, and it’s quiet for a few minutes before you realize he’s fallen asleep. Knowing Lia and Daniel will be busy for a while, you pull a spare pillow over your head and chant to yourself before falling back asleep, too.

When you awaken, the bed is cold and empty, and the shower’s running. You check the time to find only an hour has passed, but you’re much more awake now, getting up and knocking incessantly on the bathroom door. “Hurry,” you demand hoarsely, “I want to go skiing.” You hear a muffled okay and scurry over to your bag to find the pair of leggings you had packed for this. You also find your parka, and you pull off your shirt to clasp on a bra.

“Not that I don’t mind,” Mark says, eliciting a yelp from you as you tug a sweater on at record speed, “but generally, that kind of thing only goes unnoticed in nudist colonies. I could research some for you, if you’d—ow! I was joking, God!” You bonk him twice over the head with the Bible on the bedside table, your brows furrowed angrily. “You looked, asshat,” you say, collecting your things and locking yourself in the bathroom.

When it becomes increasingly evident that Lia and Daniel have no plans of exiting their room, you grumble and resort to skiing alone. But as you’re shuffling out, bundled up, you spot Mark leaning against the exit waiting for you. He looks up and tsks. “About fucking time,” he says, holding the door open for you. It’s not that cold out—maybe you’re just used to having snow and chilly weather, and so is Mark—so you barely shiver, walking around and looking for a good place to ski.

“Forget skiing,” Mark says after a few rounds. “Let’s go sledding. I have a thing.”

“A toboggan, you mean.”

“A funny word. Really, just say sled.”

You let up, anyway, the bright sky and cold ground sending serotonin right into you. Sure enough, Mark does have a nice, blue sled that he lets you on, and then the two of you are bolting down the hill at breakneck speed, laughing all the way. It’s quite a long ride, and you’re smiling and yelping so much the cloth you’ve used to cover your neck has ridden down, the cold air hitting your face harshly.

You land very ungracefully—the toboggan hits a small tree and sends you and Mark catapulting in the same direction, your hands clawing at the air for expense. You find Mark’s arm and cling onto it in the split second you’re in the air, landing on a clearing of thick snow. The arm you’ve clung onto pulls you closer, Mark grunting “be careful,” and when the whole fiasco’s over, you’re smiling like an idiot, and you’re right on top of Mark.

You’re not straddling him or anything, but you’ve just happened to land with your face a little above his. You can’t stop laughing, your face flushed and red with the cold air hitting your face. So you laugh. Why wouldn’t you laugh? It was a good day. A good ride down the hill. So you keep laughing until they’re reduced to giggles, Mark laughing right along as you pull down the covering of his mouth and tug his beanie off, ruffling your hands in his hair and dipping down to kiss him.

He kisses you right back, his lips cold but quickly growing warm with the friction. You smile into the kiss, your hands roaming all over his pink face. The kiss is giggly and light, your hands all over each other as the sunlight filters in through the thick trees overhead.

You pull away after a while. “I hate you,” you whisper. He presses a kiss to your jawline and lets it linger there. “You think I don’t?”

—

Stage 3: Bargaining, Depression|

You’ve begun to type the structure out when Lia tugs on your pajamas, her tone insistent and curious. “What’s up with you and Mark?” she presses, her cheek pressed to your stomach. You fervently hope she doesnt notice how your breathing quickens, and, keeping your voice even, you answer. “We’re…thinking about things.”

Which—you were thinking about things, to be fair. There were things to be thought and you had to think about them. It was a broad half-truth. It had been two weeks since the ski lodge thing, and you and Mark had decided it was probably best to shut the fuck up about everything you had done. (Everything meaning a few kisses here and there, and maybe a little more under the covers.) You’d hated yourself for hiding it from Lia, but you and Mark were actually feeling hesitant about moving forward with whatever you were. There was a lot of ambiguity and questions, and until you could clear it up yourself, you knew you weren’t ready to tell anybody else. You had talked about it already—clearly, the two of you were beyond jumping straight into a relationship after not liking each other that much and then becoming hesitant friends.

But it was, if you had to admit it to yourself, nice having that little secret.

“I’d want to tell Lia soon,” you tease, walking steadily beside Mark. The afternoon sun is warm on your heads, the snow falling intermittently. He turns with a small smile. “I’d want to tell Hyuck, too.” You scoff, burying your head in his chest. You probably look fucking disgusting. Around you, Washington Square Park is full of natives and tourists, and college students like you, all scurrying around and giving you that very much holiday feel.

He buys you a hot cocoa and hands it to you. “Are you heading home soon?”

You take a sip, your tongue hot. “If my ratty dorm counts as home, then yes.”

“Home is a feeling, not a place. Does your ratty dorm feel like home?”

“Kind of. Lia’s there. And so is the rat infestation in the ceiling.”

Mark nearly chokes on his cocoa. “You’re gross as fuck.”

You let out a loud laugh, your beanie nearly falling off with the bounciness of it. Mark reaches behind you to catch it, pressing a kiss to your lips in the process, soft and light and God, you like it. A lot. “Clumsy,” he remarks, pulling it back on and dragging a generous amount of your hair in front of your eyes as he does it. “It’s gonna be Christmas soon, and thank God we’re nearly done with this paper.”

“It was my genius idea to combine bargaining and depression,” you quip. “That’s my gift to you. Merry Christmas, Mark Lee.” He laughs at that. His laugh, you’ve noticed, is goddamn loud, and it’s a literal cackle, but he always looks so happy when he laughs. And buoyant. “You look stupid,” you say, but the smile on your face is undeniable. He glares playfully at you, taking your hand and walking you both in the direction of your building.

“New York in the snow,” he hums. “Always a great place.”

“It’s full of tourists,” you counter. Always disagreeing.

He chuckles and then, like clockwork—like how you’ve done it for the past six dates—you separate when you’re just shy of a meter away from the lobby entrance. Your fingers curl in search of his, and you jog up the steps, eager to get into the warmth of the building. The lobby’s pretty empty, save for a couple of students. Mark’s ahead of you, already pressing the elevator button and waiting impatiently.

“We’re alone,” he sing-songs, his eyebrows wiggling. The doors open right as you take Mark’s hand, and you look up to meet Daniel’s wide eyes. Then you look to the right to meet Lia’s.

Despite your inner turmoil, you remain nonchalant, pinching Mark’s wrist instead of holding it like you’d planned. “That’s why our professor fucking hates you,” you say, narrowing your eyes. Your heart is beating a mile a minute, but you muster a neutral expression, shoving your hands back into your pockets. Lia knows you, though, and her furrowed eyebrows and parted lips say everything—but you just shrug, playing off what they could have caught you doing. “Hey,” you say, walking into the elevator with Mark. It all blows over.

AKA: Daniel has to drag a curious Lia away from you, with a promise that you would converse later. You and Mark are alone again, in the elevator, your hands barely touching, laughs loud. It’s all blurry after that. You’re high on a laugh and the thought of a kiss—you drag him over to your room, hands in his hair, breathless, loose kisses. You’re both so exhausted, though, that all you manage to extend your energy to is taking your tops off and making out lazily to the songs you’d recommended to each other.

“Mm,” he says when one of your songs starts playing. “It’s a nice song.” You nod with a smile. “I know it is, it’s one of my recommendations. It’s called Softly.” He plays with the strap of your bra. “I’ll give it more of a listen, then. Also, a red bra to school? Whatever will the professors think,” he jokes lightly, pressing insistent, but soft kisses on your shoulder. You laugh, pinching the inner part of his arm and eliciting a swear from him. “I was joking! I know you wore this for me, stupid.” The wind whistles outside, barely audible from the half-open window across the room, overlapping with the music.

This all feels too real, now.

You pout lazily against his bare chest. “Get off before Lia gets in,” you mumble, your heart beginning to race. He does, for what it’s worth, rolling off your bed with a loud thump and tugging his shirt and sweater back on. You watch him (fondly) annoyedly, your hair draping over you as you get up to properly shove him out. “Out, out,” you chant, laughing, and he giggles, turning abruptly to poke at your waist.

“Shut up,” you groan, a smile on your face. There’s a beat, then he pulls you close and kisses you, running outside right after with a literal guffaw. You watch him, wrapping your fleece blanket around your frame as he runs to the elevator, sweater backwards and hair messy.

—

Doubts are normal. This you’re assured of, but your head pounds with the sheer amount of things you’re cramming into it. You squint impossibly harder, trying to get the nail polish into the crook of Lia’s nail. You’ve probably overdone it, judging by the way she jabs her knuckle in between your eyebrows, her face contorted in worry. “Are you…okay?”

You narrow your eyes, the inner debate of telling her raging on and on. The nail polish drips onto her fingernail, rolling onto her pant leg, and she yelps, but her eyes are still on you. “You can tell me anything,” she says, softer this time. You know she’s serious—you know you can. You always have. You told her about every fling, one night stand, pregnancy scare, bad grade, hot professor, and spoiled deli food you’d encountered since you ever became friends. She knew you. And you were so sure she knew what you were about to say.

Except you didn’t know what you wanted to say. Your feelings were a mess, and you wanted one thing as much as you wanted the other. You couldn’t place what you wanted, and if you had to narrow it down, you’d realize that you were scared of what you wanted. You were never really one for commitment, or a relationship, or really anything, for that matter. And the fact that you were so hung up on thinking about what you and Mark would become—Mark? It all seemed so dystopian, almost. Like you’d never expected it. Your friendship was a childhood bubble that popped in the span of your first high school semester, and that was that. But just two days ago you were being kissed all over by the same guy you’d had a cutthroat student council president competition with.

It seemed so absurd? Crazy? Those adjectives were a little over the top. Deep down, if you dug deep enough into the parts you didn’t even tell yourself, you knew what you were. And if anybody else were to know, it would be Lia.

“I’m scared,” you choke out, your voice shaky. “I’m scared and sad, and happy and angry, and I want this but I don’t.” You cover the nail polish, shaking your head. “This is all so new to me. I hate how much I feel, especially because it feels so wrong. You know me—relationships are just not cut out for me. They’re scary and new. And people in relationships turn all gooey. I’m scared that this won’t last, but I’m scared that it will, and I’ll be doomed to an eternity of bland, padlocked relationships. It’s weird. I could be feeling this way for anyone, but it had to be Mark? If only I didn’t hate him, then maybe we could’ve gone off on a better foot. If only this whole thing never fucking happened, right?”

“It’s okay,” Lia cuts in. “Being scared is okay. It’s part of the whole process. And nobody said you had to get along like conjoined twins in a relationship. They just go when they go and end when they end. Not every relationship starts as a high school sweetheart thing and ends with three kids and a picket fence. And I’m so sure Mark would be so understanding if you didn’t like him or if you chose not to continue.”

“You knew?”

She laughs. “Of course I knew. I know a post-sex glow when I see one, and I was blinded that morning at the ski lodge.” You groan, pinching her indignantly, hiding your face in your hands as she laughs out of view. “Okay. Take some time and think about it, but for now, I want to get my nails done, so.”

—

It’ll be a week before you come up with what you want, and the whole time you generally avoid talking about solemn topics with him in person.

It’ll be another few days before you finally talk to him personally—with your paper nearly finished, you suggest a meeting at the library. It’s just two days before Christmas Eve, and you know Mark’s going to be driving to Canada, so you want to snatch him away for your own personal time for just a second. The snow has all but thickened as you meet outside the building, the silence deafening.

“Hi,” he says, smiling. You know he’s probably picked up on your erratic, quieter behavior in the past several days, but you gulp and lead him inside anyways, to your favorite section. “It’s almost Christmas Eve,” he says, watching you stall, surrounded by Philosophy books from just about every century. “I know,” you say, hoping you don’t sound too nervous.

“You sound nervous,” he says.

“Do I?” you ask shakily, your voice taking on an unnaturally high pitch. “I mean, er. I guess I sort of am. I guess I’ve been thinking about everything lately—about you and me and everything that just happened so suddenly. Because—because it did happen so suddenly. I just…needed time? Yeah, time. To think about everything. Because it all happened so quickly, I…” you stutter. “I’m scared of these things. I’m not used to them. Relationships? Things that last longer than a couple weeks? I don’t like these.

I have something bigger I want to focus on and anybody who gets in the way just isn’t worth it. And it’s so weird how it was you out of all people I started thinking about it with. Usually I just have the rare fling and then they’re gone, and I’m not even mad. But you’re different. And I like it.

But I just needed time to find out if I really liked it. If I really wanted to try. I know it’s only been a few weeks, and I probably sound really fucking stupid, but you get me—you get me, right? And that’s how I realized—if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. I don’t know why I overthought it. I mean, it’s a good thing and a bad thing that I did. Like, on one hand, I got to really think about how this would play out, and on the other, I’d just end up spiraling. And it’s just weird. I hope you don’t know I hated you. Hate you? Hated you. I was just—it was all so juvenile. Everything just stemmed from that one awfully dumb high school rivalry. But other than that, you were always a cool…see what I mean? I’m kind of rambling—even if I thought I had planned this out. And. Yeah. I dunno. I fucking…I hate you, stop laughing.”

Mark smiles down at you—you’re busy pretending to read a Sartre book to look unfazed, but your flickering gaze says it all.

“Okay, stupid,” he says, bordering onto a laugh. “If that’s your way of saying you’re willing to give this a try, then I graciously accept. Should I be saying something equally long? I—is that how this works?”

You roll your eyes and kiss him instead, pulling him close, Sartre’s postulates dropping to the floor alongside your tiptoes.

—

Stage 4: Acceptance|

“Acceptance is just that. Just accepting that you love that person after weeks or months of all the other stages. With her, it was. Like. It’s the whole sitting down after silence, having some time for the revelation to set in before you realize you love them. Or like them? Well, love them, I guess. But I don’t know why you would be asking me this.”

You bury your head further into Mark’s shoulder, your eyes strained from how long they’d been trained onto your screen. You smile up at Daniel, thanking him for the input and beginning to type it in, watching Lia doze off on his shoulder. “We’re asking because we’re not quite there yet,” Mark hums, “it’s just February. It’s barely been two months.” You nod, watching Mark type where you left off on the document. Daniel snorts from across you. “You’re just about, I guess.” Mark chuckles, shrugging so your head bounces off his shoulder unceremoniously.

“Like I’d ever fall in love with that shitstorm,” he says pointedly.

“Oh, and I’d fall in love with this dickwad?”

“You’re perfect for each other. Bullying, but we all know Mark brought back gifts from Canada and that you stitched an initial onto his sweater.”

“To practice my embroidery. Also, I stitched Mark’s initial. M. Asshole.”

“Okay,” whistles Daniel, his hand unconsciously coming up to make sure Lia doesn’t fall off his shoulder. “But hey, you’re just about to submit this paper and I’m fondly remembering all the times you despised each other. And when you”—he points at you, devilish grin on his face—“started gushing to Lia about how he”—he then turns to Mark—“kissed you at Johnny’s party.”

“God, it’s not the time for that yet, we’re still a fresh couple,” you groan, burying your head in your hands. “You have so much dirt on me, Choi.” Mark just laughs, though, loudly, bringing the other cafe-goers’ attention to yours. He bites your shoulder to stifle it, eliciting a laugh from you. “I agree, there should be a certain time requirement for pre-relationship embarrassing stories,” Mark says, closing his laptop. Lia gets up at that point, already half-awake from the ruckus (AKA Mark’s laugh), pulling on Daniel’s sleeve. “Alright, and that’s my cue to get this girl some more coffee and then go.”

“Mm, I’ll come with,” you say, “I need a refresher before we leave soon, anyway.”

You walk in between them, your fingers laced in Lia’s as she squeezes them sleepily. They order first and then they’re off with a smile and a polite goodbye, leaving you to order your drink. You gaze up at the menu, and then down at—

“Long time no see,” Chan says with a knowing beam. “How is your not boyfriend boyfriend?”

“Well, he’s my boyfriend now.”

“See, I always know. What do you want?”

“An iced ca—how did you know?” You ask, tempted.

“It’s just…the energy? It was a hit or miss, but I kinda got that feeling that something was going to happen.”

“Hmm,” you hum. “An iced caramel then.”

“And a black coffee for her best friend!” Hollers a new voice that you could never miss, turning slowly towards the entrance to meet Donghyuck’s crazy eyes. He’s in a suit, which isn’t unusual given the sheer amount of presentations he’s had to do since the new year started. You roll your eyes but put in the extra cash anyway, much to Chan’s amusement. Hyuck nears you with a sly grin. “I hear you’ll be submitting your paper soon. I just want my name in there so I’m in your professor’s good graces.”

“She’s not even going to be your professor, Hyuck,” you say, taking your drink and smiling at Chan. You and Donghyuck both walk back to where Mark’s sitting, you beside him and Hyuck across the both of you. “Yes, but it pays to be in somebody’s good graces, I swear. See what happened? I got you two together. I orchestrated your entire love st—”

“Okay, now you’re just lying, Hyuck,” Mark says with a laugh, finishing up the first few paragraphs and closing his laptop. “We’re not even in love.” But his friend lets out a teasing smile, his eyes narrowed, and he gets up with a loud farewell and alibi about “being needed by my better friends.” You assume he’s talking about Jeno.

—

You walk to Mark’s room alongside him, thanks to the promise of his roommate, Jaemin, sleeping at a friend’s. Your fingers are intertwined loosely. The sun’s setting and Mark’s room is sheathed in beautiful shades of orange and pink, a vast array of dusk settling over the space. It happens quietly, but full of laughs, which is how it happens when you’re both tired and/or shitfaced. You do this a lot—a routine of sharing new songs or books you’d picked up over the week and then making out while they play in the background or while one of you read. It’s awfully, horribly, terribly fucking intimate.

“Your bra sucks,” he jokes.

You love it.

“Get better abs and we can talk about it,” you counter, poking his toned stomach. He really, fully guffaws at that, pulling you onto his lap and then tugging his guitar out from where it stands at the corner. You flop back onto his bed, watching him play—and then registering the familiar opening of the Jonas Brothers song you used to request nearly everyday. “Lovebug,” you muse with a smile, singing along to his voice, carried away. You’re sleepy and light, and you know deep down—in that space of yourself where you’re all but honest—that you were going to fall in love with him someday.

Later, when all you’re doing is hugging him as he reads your latest Philosophy requirement to you, he pauses.

“Is this the 21st century idea of love?” He asks idly, unclasping your bra and connecting the moles on your shoulder. You hum.

“It’s the Gen Z idea,” you say, connecting the ones on his bare back. “And this isn’t love.”

“Corny.” he smiles against your collarbones. You kiss his neck. It’s all very gradual.

—

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