#like idk it feels pointless in that way
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I’m just annoyed by AFO, one of the worst characters and he’s the Big Bad. His main body should’ve died against Endeavor so we wouldn’t have to waste so much time with him.
I agree that Hori really didn't need to drag out OG AfO's death. I think he wanted to give All Might and Bakugou a Heroic Moment/Win but it came at the coast of pacing and AfO feeling really redundant. I mean I love All Might and I do think he needed a little bit of a moment before the end of the story but depending on how the story ends it could have possibly been left to his vestige+emotionally helping Izuku.
As for Bakugou getting his moment, again depending on how things go, could have been left for after Shigaraki gets fully possessed, with him teaming up with Izuku.
Because we're still not done with the story I can't say for sure, but I'm a little annoyed that OG AfO wasn't killed by Enji+Dabi. At the moment it seems like if/when Hori redemes the core LoV it will be last minute in a friendship is magic/breaking Shigaraki out of AfO's mind control thing. I'm not a huge fan of that and do wish that Dabi would have helped bring down AfO with Enji and Shoto. He still could have been cheering Shigaraki on from the sidelines to help bring him back, but it would have been the first step in showing he was starting to choose something for the greater good over killing his family for revenge.
It also would have given Enji, Shoto, Hawks and the other UA students that fought him more of a win, while also fitting in with the todofam subplot.
#bnha manga spoilers#bnha#mha#endeavor#enji todoroki#AfO#it just sucks cuz it is a huge drag on the pacing#and so few characters feel like they genuinely helped bring him down#which I think was supposed to be the point#like that defeating him was a team effort#and perhaps animated or read all at once it'll feel more like that#but it really did sort of end up seeming like the Bakugou and All Might show#while also undermining them and everyone else when he comes back 10 chaps later#like idk it feels pointless in that way#which is not how you want a climatic moment to feel#and it makes Hawks loosing his Quirk and Stain's death even more pointless#and Stains death/him even being involved was pretty pointless#and he was my fav character#but he just did not do enough important stuff to be brought back after his first appearance#as a character and what he was supposed to accomplish was just not at all utilized well#like I think he was supposed to be an emotional support for All Might but he was to crazy and had so few moments with him#that he's just useless
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ill be like 'i need a new sketchbook' and for what i dont even draw like that no more 🧍🏾
#i put pencil to paper. draw a circle and predict the drawings already going nowhere so i just give up#i cant even attempt to draw without getting instantly tired.bored. fed up. etc etc#it feels pointless#i used to fill sketchbooks save for like idk 3-4 pages i cant even draw on one page anymore head in hands#i feel the same digitally but im able to experiment in ways i cant on regular paper#it still makes me tired tho#i feel like if i get a new book ill do something different but its all the same#its getting so bad im considering school wahhhh#kae.txt
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ok so we're all in agreement that the way the show is handling trixie and matthew's storyline is complete shite right?
#call the midwife#call the midwife series 13#don't usually like putting negativity in tags but.... i am seriously so frustrated by this lol#not only does it just... not make sense with EITHER characters#it also just feels like a totally lazy way to add drama...#like there's totally a way they could have added a money-issues storyline that could have been really interesting!#but pointless miscommunication? matthew being a chauvinistic dickhead? trixie have barely any of her own agency??? nah nah#fuck that lol#also looks like they're going to make her return to alcoholism in the finale which is completely annoying#like there were whole SERIES dedicated to her getting help with it!!#and it was amazing! it was one of the few times i've seen alcoholism depicted with such care on screen PARTICULARLY w/ a female character#uguhughuu idk#i'm just ranting here soz lol#and like ctm has made some very strange choices in terms of characters and plotlines in the past#but this one really feels like it's taking the piss imo lol...
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i want to write fic soooo bad but i feel like i just can't present a narrative in a way that anyone will understand idk it always just feels so nonsensical, whatever i write. Even just writing a plan its like after a while all words just lose all meaning idk what this meanss idk how to do this
#like its jsut so hard to explain it like everything becomes word soup or something#like the longer i write the more it feels like the story is pointless even if im trying to write about something concrete#AUAUGH i just dont have a way with words i guess. but its also about the way of writing idk man idkk the story is there but at the same tim#its nothing#i cant explain it#ive wanted to write fic and comics and even flesh out ideas and after a while of trying it just feels so pointless and like its about#nothing even though im not even writing stream of consciousness like I KNOW the things i want to write are here but the story is just.#nothing#AUAHHHFDD HOW DO I EXPLAINNNN#this is a very vivid feeling in my brain whenever i enter this stage of writing anything#UGHHHHHFVBHVD ok bye#i mean i dont really have good ideas either but uhh i would like too :^/#idk im just looking if anyone feels this way too or if they fight it somehow -_-
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[shaking and biting] but what does it MEAN. what does it SAY what is the THEME
#akkdlflf i watched this long lecture video abt austrian national identity and the researcher said 'the austrians are quite adept at#selling the austro hungarian monarchy back to tourists incl ones from former parts of the empire... but even in the imperial nostalgia they#don't want back multilingualism or multiculturalism or any of what it actually was'#(it was a lot abt the way in which austria deals with orban's hungary in and after the 2015 refugee crisis)#ajskgldo and that just made me think about... how pointless some things feel. both in fiction and in academic research#you CAN say meaningful things about almost any topic and with almost any argument! but in some strands of history trying to 'uncover events'#with no exploration of the context and what it all MEANS and what the things we think about it mean#is the most prevalent and popular type of research :/ like there's a reason i overrely on hamann's bio of rudolf because her central thesis#is that he wasnt a crazy murderer but someone with a forward-thinking political vision that went as far as suggesting a sort of 'proto-EU'#among other things#so like. she is looking at what it all MEANS!!!#and like. my favourite todolf fanfics are also like that 😂😭 perhaps not abt politics but about suffering and power dynamics and guilt#same for original fiction. i'm never happy if a book i'm reading isnt saying something#or then again - this is more personal pickiness but. they should also be saying something NEW AND INTERESTING#a lot of the time. sometimes if you have a fave trope you can just enjoy it over and over#but idk even tropey stuff can say things#ajlsldkfkf i'm just so tired of kitsch in all its forms and also of bad science
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ok but what if. when el finally confronts mike about the confession she straight up just asks him to say ily in front of her face right at that moment just to test if he’s able to actually do it eye-to-eye with her. then he just stands there completely dumbfounded cause he cant say it and the only reason he was able to do it in surfer boy pizza was bc he had to say something to help her and he knew she was in a complete other dimension while all he had to do was look at her unconscious body (while he wasnt even sure if she could hear everything from him) and thats how she confirms that he really isnt *in* love with her...
#no bc the more i think about this...it wouldnt make sense if he just says it to her once#and after that they just never bring it up anymore? like whats the point if she just needed to hear it from him *once*#and their relationship is just fixed? resolved? even though after that he may never say the L word to her again?#like it honestly just feels like mike is pushing a heavy weight out of his chest bc finally. he said what he believed she needed to hear#and then after that they just go on with their lives and mike never says ily to her ever again?#when u put it like this it rlly does feel like he was just trying to save her life by saying what he thought she needed to hear from him 😭#it all feels like pointless build up idk if im making sense but the more i think about this the emptier his love confession feels#and the more senseless this entire plotline is because it really would be all just for theatrics#so the only way for it to really make sense is that he doesnt actually (romantically) love her. point blank!#byler
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third playthru antics so far involve gale agreeing to the hag's bargain and getting his eye fucked up in the process <3 and tbh i actually think this is the funniest possible choice they could make as a party since they all dismiss ethel's "netherese magic BLEUGH" reveal as just a symptom of gale already having that shit in his system. like its too much of a coincidence for something so ancient and mythic to happen TWICE to the SAME random guy so theyre all like yeah no shit !!!! gale is the netherese guy !!!! we knew that like a week ago idiot !!!!! foresight is not a gift im givng these people i am so sorry king </3
#tay plays bg3#bg3 spoilers#oc: lilithira#no metagaming in this house we make stupid decisions and live with the absolutely pointless consequences like MEN!!#I DO FEEL BAD INFLICTING *THINGS* UPON MY PARTY THO but lily's beady little eyes are too cute to get ripped out im sorry :(#and shes chomping down worm after worm for the team AND took gut's potion so idk. i think its fair personally#also i feel like if he's That willing to deal with raphael... a hag isnt that much better#its also the only way i could justify doing the ethel quest at all as lily#its so hard playing lawful evil/neutral chara who's lawful in a *business* sense not necessarily a moral sense#i have to justify doing ethel's quest not w all the ethical Mayrina angles but instead the 'oh you didnt hold up your bargain? die <3''#saving mayrina being just a sort of convenient conclusion to that. JHFDGJFKGD#i think if she hadn't felt personally enraged by ethel hurting gale she wouldve taken one look at mayrina and said damn that sucks gl tho#and left <3 no investigation no meddling no nothing <3 who is she to get in the way of a fellow girlboss just trying to make a living ✌#GFJKGFJKGF
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i only have three more best picture nominees to watch before the oscars 👀 and i'm leaving the ones i'm most and least excited for til last so i think i'll watch poor things next
#have been ranking/reviewing on my letterboxd but the list is private for now#will share it once i've watched them all#i just saw the zone of interest and i can't fully make my mind up abt it ?#on the one hand it was viscerally disturbing. it really felt like staring into an abyss of evil#and oh my GOD the sound design was a masterpiece whoever did the sound design needs to work on every horror movie from now on#but on the other hand i found it very monotonous and like. pointless? in a way?#like in the first five minutes you realise they're going about their ordinary lives in the shadow of this great evil#and you think oh my god that's awful that's horrific these people are evil#and then the whole rest of the film is just. still that?#idk i just feel like there are other stories that could have been told#one 1 star review i saw started with ''why must i watch the daily lives of nazis?'' and then goes on to explain how this question#is just not really answered by the film. like you watch it it's there but i just don't know. why?#anyway#still making my mind up about the ranking#🧃
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Wondering if tumblr is really good for me
#fudge does a talky talk#idk im just thinking#i keep on going to reply sections (bad idea)#and find myself getting into arguments#but what im most concerned about is how#idk harsh i feel im becoming?#like i try my best to somewhat be polite even in repkies but I find myself failing#and i feel like the hostility in tumblr reply sections in general might be a part of that#idk i probably just need to stay away from replies#i geuss whats concerning as well is that i usually tried to avoid arguments in the past#it felt like a pointless waste of energy that wouldn't change the other oersons mind anyway and woukd juetclead to anger on both sides#maybe in some ways its better that I'm more open to the idea people won't always be closed minded but#idk if thats worth the amount of aggression that usually comes with using tumblr reoky sections#or if replying and argueing at all is really worth it#or maybe I'm just blaming tumblr for a me problem idk#because I'll admit deep down kindness is not my first instinct#it is unfortunately to insult and attack perceived threats#i try to manage that but i don't always succeed#maybe tumblr doesn't help but idk#I know I don't usually make posts like these but#i geuss i should in case this leads to me not using tumblr as much? idk if thats going to haooen honestly but I'm thinking#In case it does i felt i should post this so people would udnerstand whats going on#i geuss i don't exactly owe anyone that but#I also wanted to get this off my chest#the more i think about it i think this is more of a 'tumblr bringing out the worst in me' then 'tumblr making me act a way i usually wouldn#idk what haplened with the reoly sections though i really used to not do that#geuss I've been desperate for human interaction? and getting into arguments is easier then starting a freindly conversation with someone#and idk maybe I've been feeling frusterated and like I can't really express my feelings to the people around me#so I've also been craving being able to actually say I don't agree with something#vent post
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ok i am currently drawing a thing and i looked up the physiotherapy ward bg to reference from (ty blupen for making all your thumbnails have the bg in them)
and ik everyone knows that the physiotherapy ward and stadium bgs are supposed to mimic each other cuz its really obvious and thats like the whole point of them BUT
THE LAMPS. LIGHTS. ARE THE FUCKING EYES. DID OTHER PPL REALIZE THIS???????????????? CUZ I JUST DID AND MY MIND IS FUCKING BLOWN RN HOLY SHIT EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS ACT IS SO GOOD
#AOSDGHJKDMW<SAIODKL<>S#sorry i get way too excited over things like this#this is like the most pointless observation but IDC#BONUS POINTS BECAUSE EDEGA WATCHES HIM FROM THERE. LIKE THE CROWD DID. AASGGDHM#i NEED to analyze luckys character based off of this SO BAD#THE EYES the eyes they say SOOOOOOO much about him. SO MUCH#EDEGA WATCHES HIM LIKE A LAB RAT IN THE PHYSIO WARD AND THE CROWD WATCHES HIM ONLY TO JUDGE HIM AND CRITICIZE HIM AFTER THEIR CHEERS#and even though lucky might be a big shot in the baseball scene he still feels small and worthless off of the field cuz of the#publics judgement of him and he carries that dread w him when hes sent to middlesea and even more so when ada#breaks the bad news to him in 5-1#and so basically THE LIGHTS IN THE ROOM REPRESENT HIS EXISTENTIAL DREAD ok thank you for listening to my ted talk rambling aujfhfhfjfnf#????????????#idk those r some lucky thoughts i had based on this personal revolutionary finding#the eyessssss#they show up for like 10 seconds in one level and i immediately love them#i love. this guy#in retrospect idk what i was trying to achieve w this rant but just know that this game means a lot to me
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Gender and pronouns are very different. Example I myself am identify as nonbinary and use he/they, I do not identify as a demi-boy personally. It varies person to person :)
Well I understand not necessarily identifying as something but what’s the difference between wanting to be referred to a certain set of pronouns and putting a label on those pronouns?
#just thinking out loud#but if you can take a label that’s generally reserved for a specific set of pronouns#then what’s the point of adding a label? if you can simply choose your pronouns?#like say identifying as female and still using she/they pronouns#what’s the point then of identifying as female in the first place?#walking a fence here I feel like 😂 I genuinely don’t understand though! it seems weirdly. idk pointless?#I feel like that’s not the word I want to use but I can’t think of a better one#this is a lot of thought to be sparked by a character that looks like Gaylord Robinson#Frank you have bamboozled me#I mean this in the most lighthearted way I can muster btw#no insults were intended or anything#bee learns gender
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Send me asks, my brain is garbage tonight.
#sometimes i feel like a failure at everything i have tried or wanted#but like#years of working on this have reduced that feeling a lot#now i correctly attribute that misery to living in a country that actively wants me to die because I am disabled/trans/fat/neurodivergent#and in a way that's so much worse because i could always push myself to succeed or change even if that was futile#but this place ain't gonna change enough to save me and i'll always need to beg for help#so i'm like trapped? knowing i have value that will never be seen clearly enough to be safe and it makes me...tired#i just surf from incident to incident without much good stuff in between and sometimes it feels...not pointless...i do like being alive...#but it feels like i have all this stuff to offer the world and no way to do it because i'm too crushed down to do much of anything#i can't even always safely access effective medications#or afford to move out of this place#idk i know this is depressing i just#we had to buy clothes for boyfriend's new job and now i don't think we can afford to buy meds that are not covered by insurance#and i am tired of ending up here every single month#i deserve better we all deserve better
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watching the world rly descend into fascism over the years is just so upsetting i dont even know how to process it
#uwu#like ik its not like the world was perfect before and in a lot of ways we've really progressed!#but in the last ~7 years it feels like things have gotten rly bad exponentially#which ik is probably a lot of reaction To all the progress thats been made#and ik we can fight it and come back i wont lose hope but idk if itll happen in my lifetime and its so disheartening to see#and thru it all i have to like. write essays work retail deal w personal issues etc#feels so pointless & stupid when it feels like the end is near & there are literally nazis and genocide and shit happenign#ik i sound like a dumb child and its much more complicated but why cant we all just be fucking nicies to eachother#.-.#globalization........sigh
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i know i don't post about personal things that much, but i have really been struggling with my mental health lately, with feeling guilty for things I enjoy doing and feeling like there are things I ought to be doing instead that I'm not doing, and feeling guilty for not doing those things. Plus I'm struggling with just feeling... maybe invisible is the word. idk.
I'm struggling with job hunting IRL and anxious about starting grad school in the fall, but coming online is just... it's not helping either.
#personal#ally speaks#it's like seasonal depression -> regular depression#anyway idk what the point of all this is#i keep trying to claw my way out of the pit but it feels... pointless? i guess.#feels like screaming into the void#the answer is probably a hiatus from online stuff but it already feels like i'm. drowning in obscurity
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what is wrong with my dad i hope he dies man wtf😭
#tickets didn't get confirmed so he's like gaadi se aa jao??? bc akal nahi hai kya car se aayi aisi journey jisme train se 12 hr lagte hai#mujhe nahi jana car is so suffocating and i feel sick and i hate trips longer than like 3 hours#and what am i supposed to do for so fucking in the car ill go fucking insane i was literally folding clothes and thinking what am i even#doing with my life why am i alive i need to kill myself end it all its all pointless#the only way to stop these thoughts is being busy and studying doesn't help and watching 5 hours of netflix doesn't help#now im supposed to be alone with my thoughts and my phone and my depressing music#and be anxious in the car all the time because he is mad at me cause i haven't been studying so idk what he'll do when i get there#probably make me drop out of those tuis or be like you stay here with me in the middle of nowhere#great just fucking grand
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todays menu:
Identity crisis
#Vent#Ig?#Idk#I feel like my art is pointless. It and my interaction has been stagnant for forever. I get followers yet never interaction.#The works I put my heart and soul into barely ever surpass 20 notes. Meanwhile shitty shit sky rockets#I'm tired of feeling useless and pointless in my art#And don't tell me “oh you don't need interaction” or “be grateful”#I AM GOD DAMNIT.#But I just wish I had people genuinely interested in what I have to tell#I wish people would like and appreciate my characters#I wish I had more mutuals and friends and art buddies#I look at my friends and feel so envious for some reason. I look at my friends and see their posts get ALOT of notes. At least a lot for#For someone like me#I know I shouldn't be#It's selfish of me to feel this way
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