#like if i don't describe the character's physical appearance would people be able to project?

[svtskneecaps]

HOW THE FUCK DID I HIT 69 PAGES FOR THIS FIC IT'S BEEN LIKE THREE WEEKS

[maryellencarter]

So I've been tussling with how to write this post for some time now.

Uh, the background good news first? I appear to have worked almost an entire pay period and also March is a three paycheck month, so I'm making some very solid progress on getting caught up on my bills, and it seems like this might even continue. I know I tend to be more optimistic than is usually warranted, but 70 hours in my time clock when working all my scheduled hours would put me at 72 is pretty damn impressive, especially compared to how I've been doing for a really long time.

So then I was poking around and trying to figure out what one even does with disposable income. I've been going to a knitting group at a local yarn shop recently (I forget if I mentioned here but a friend was able to get me some KN95 masks and some helpful information about transmission rates so I can socialize safely again! This is probably a big factor in me being less depressed and more worky again also), but I don't really enjoy owning yarn I don't have A Plan for, so right now I've got a cable sweater for Leia, a fancy silk lace scarf, a puffy hexagon blanket, and a crochet baby blanket going, and I just really don't want any more yarn until I finish with one or two of these projects.

Recently, though, as y'all have probably seen, there was an announcement going around about the American Girl doll brand announcing a pair of 1999-themed Historical Character dolls. Because Tumblr is the "we are getting old" website at this point, there were Noises. (They have a Pizza Hut "Book-It" reading program playset. I have never been smacked in the face with nostalgia so hard in my entire life.)

As some of y'all may also remember, I used to have a whole collection of American Girl dolls and furniture and whatnot, because I was trying to do the whole "believe you can be safe and stable now and have the things you were never allowed to have as a kid" thing with a reasonable part of the money I'd inherited from my then recently deceased grandmother (a lovely human being, and by extreme genetic good luck the relative I take after physically, so that I don't have to deal with the whole "growing up to look exactly like my abuser" thing that some people have to suffer through). Then the 2016 election happened, I had a horrible depressive spiral, was unable to work, sold 90% of my collection to pay the rent, eventually became homeless anyway, and lost the other 10% by trusting the wrong person to keep my stuff safe when I had no other options.

ANYWAY! Not the point. The point is that I started poking my nose back into the American Girl website, and then the wiki in order to try to figure out what all I'd missed, and I'm kind of being like "hey, I could hypothetically afford some of this stuff again now".

(I personally find it hilarious that the brand is trying to walk a line between "Addressing trans and nonbinary identities in our helpful book on puberty for preteens? Sure, we'll do that, we're progressive! Also did you say Harry Potter collaboration? That's a license to basically print money from customers who are nostalgic for the same era we were most popular in, let's do this", which is exactly the kind of seesawing I expect from Disney -- who owns American Girl via Mattel.)

So *anyway*, and this is the part of this post I'm really struggling with: I also used to be heavily involved in the part of the American Girl adult collectors fandom that describes itself as "queer-friendly and socially conscious". That part of the fandom runs the wiki (which is an extremely useful and well-constructed resource). I don't know who-all from those days may still follow me on Tumblr, and I'm actually not looking to cause drama, just sort of thinking out loud as I so often do on the tunglrs, but after five years away from the fandom and having poked my nose back in, I'm running into a royal shitton of memories (and a little new information) that's making me go "Holy fuck, this place was *incredibly* toxic, no wonder I got utterly burned out on trying to interact with the dolls and items the way they demanded everybody should. No wonder I still feel like I'm walking on eggshells to even say anything or post a picture related to this fandom."

So. Let's be real. I'm saying "the way they demanded". It's one person, backed up by other mods who don't create their own separate demands. This particular section of the fandom is ruled with an iron fist by one self-described Angry Black Woman who... the very kindest way I can find to describe it is, she's a walking talking demonstration of how you cannot create a single safe space that's safe for everyone. I made a post several years ago that went a little bit viral, where I pointed out that being uncomfortable with a very verbally aggressive black authority figure can actually be because of the "very verbally aggressive authority figure" part, say if you're a survivor of emotional abuse *koff koff*, and doesn't have to mean you're "uncomfortable with black anger" Because You're Racist. That post was a direct reaction to multiple instances of seeing this person tell people "you're pushing back against me being verbally abusive, that's a racist action on your part".

That's the kindest, most nonconfrontational way I can come up with to talk about the situation. Less tactfully, after going to look over the forum rules for this subsection of the fandom -- hoping to realize I'd just been an extremely sensitive tortellini at the time and they weren't that bad, because I know I was an extremely sensitive tortellini in other matters -- in actual fact, I've been reminded very loudly that these rules are a 13k essay on topics such as You Must Be Okay With Verbal/Emotional Abuse If It's Directed At You By People Of Color, All Cultures Of Color Are Closed Cultures Now (So Don't You Dare Put This Black Doll's Clothes On Any Other Doll), and the real kicker for me, Only Selected Queer Identities Are Suitable For Public Discussion (subsection We're Redefining Queerness To Exclude Polyamory, new since I was last here, with sub-subsection Oops We Didn't Mean To Exclude Asexuals Only Those Icky Cishets, and fun guessing game Are We Excluding Aromantics Or Did We Just Forget They Exist, Ask And See If You Get Banned).

I... genuinely didn't mean to go on that long. But this is exactly why I'm making this post. Because I have a *lot* of trauma from trying to figure out what's actually racist or offensive and what's not, while being in a community where anything the main mod doesn't like can suddenly be declared an offense against social justice, and if you ever step on her toes, you're likely to be relegated to the ranks of the damned (aka the white Christian mommybloggers who own more than six white dolls or less than 50% dolls of color). And as probably all of you know, I do a lot of thinking out loud about trauma. Which is a PROBLEM, because this person definitely still follows me here (I don't know who else from the fandom does), and Tumblr blocks don't keep people from seeing your posts, only interacting with them.

So. Uh. There's probably going to be... more of this. I'm making this post now because I'm almost done sewing a doll skirt, I want to show it off here, and I'm also having a really nasty anxiety attack over how this person is definitely going to metaphorically rip it to shreds in the dedicated forum thread for mocking homemade doll clothes (mostly from Etsy) that don't live up to her exacting standards of Historically Accurate Doll Costuming. (The skirt is gathered instead of using 1800s-style "cartridge pleats"! The horror!)

Yeah. So. Um. I guess... if you follow me from when I was last in AG doll fandom, here's where I stand, at least right now. I'm not going to name any names, but you likely know who I'm talking about. I'm not going to go after anybody or cause trouble on their blog, but I'm not going to pull any punches when I'm talking about the ways they and their policies have made me feel unsafe in the fandom. And I'm not going to follow their byzantine rules based on the concept that a single doll can only have one ethnicity and one backstory. A doll, in its essence, is a shapeshifter the way a character actor is a shapeshifter, and not all of us want to create 50+ fixed individual characters that can't wear each other's clothes.

If you can't live with any of that, feel free to go commiserate with each other. I'm not planning to go back to the forum, so don't worry that I'll see anything you say there. (I'm not even planning to publish the rules publicly, since they're not viewable when logged out, although they are a trip and a half to read without the context of the dramas that shaped them.)

If you're scared what will happen to your standing in the fandom if you like my posts or keep following me, though... maybe that's a place to start thinking.

[livingalifeofasimp]

☘️𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖓 𝕴𝖒𝖕𝖆𝖈𝖙

𝕴𝖓

🎀𝕴𝖘𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖎 𝕸𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖆🎀

You got teleported into a Novel called Love or Hate, where a villianess of an influencing family gets jealous of people around Crown Prince and tries to kill everyone especially his beloved and meets unfortunate death.

𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝕀𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕕𝕦𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

𝕎𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕡𝕒𝕕 𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥

Click on the link for more information, If the link doesn't work then please be kind enough to inform me, Thank you💮💮💮

🖤 𝓩𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓲

*:･ﾟ♛ ﾟ･:* On getting into the novel as Villianess and not being able to go back to your world you decided to stop going down the path of original Novel Plot but make your own and live a life in luxury away from all the characters. Your first step was to break the engagement with Crown Prince, who was surprised when he heard you say that to him, you were just so in love with him and then after being unconscious for almost a week you decided to break off the engagement.

*:･ﾟ♛ ﾟ･:* Zhongli could not understand why you would do such thing and you knew he will fall in love with the Heroine when she appears, you told your father to annual it, since you understood that the affection holds no value in Crown Prince's eyes, but Zhongli wasn't able to digest this piece of information, when he tries to approach you, you run away, avoid him at any cost, he realizes how important you are to him, so he rejects your request to annual the engagement even after you nearly begged him and promises you that he will cherish you now on, leaving you thinking what went wrong.

*:･ﾟ♛ ﾟ･:* You sat with pen and paper tried to sort everything out, although Crown Prince was trying to win your favor back by sending you gifts, letters and asks for your audience only to get ghosted by you, getting involved with him will give you nothing but a miserable fate, no matter how handsome the Characters are you refused to acknowledge them any further. Now it felt like Zhongli clingys to you more than anything.

💛𝓐𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

ﾟ･:*༻*:･ﾟWhen your carriage stopped infront of your state you saw Aether was there waiting for you, he told you that he heard you were trying to annual the engagement, for a minute you forgot how fast news spread in this era, Aether had a happy glow on his face, he told you that you deserve better. At some point you knew that Aether grows distant from Villianess in Novel Plot but the case here was totally different now he invites you or comes to you uninvited.

ﾟ･:*༻*:･ﾟYou don't stop him tho, he became your bestfriend, he taught you horse riding, sword fighting and helped you in all those things you were interested in. Thanks to Aether your bad dancing got better, you always wondered how he never go tired dancing with you, when you step on his foot unintentionally during practices. Physical touches increases slightly, you don't doubt it since it's normal for friends to hug a second more right?

❤️𝓓𝓲𝓵𝓾𝓬

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Since there was nothing better to do, you started to put your hands on family business and was sent to pay visit to the business partner. To your surprise when you saw Diluc, he looked just like the Novel described him to be, stern, stoic and cold. His presence was intimidating but you had to win this opportunity so you confidently placed your views even when your legs were shaking under the gown you were wearing, you put your hands together and pursued him.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Diluc seemed so lonely, he had no one to worry about him, just him and his thoughts. So you decided to greet him with smile and ask about if he ate his meals properly because he skipped them for one or two days due to his loads of work, which was bad for his health, if he needed to fight with Crown Prince for Heroine then he should be healthy, so you took care of him while you were staying in his Mansion.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ At first he was wary of you but he eventually warmed up and when Diluc laughed in one of your jokes, you felt grateful to witness that because no one saw him smiling other than Heroine, he looked really beautiful. He said you were way too different than what the rumours described you to be, you were perfect. 

💚𝓧𝓲𝓪𝓸

✥ ۪۪۫۫◃ ✤◃ ۪۪۫۫✥ Bandits attached your Carriage, it was difficult to defeat them but with your escort and Aether's sword fighting training it became quite easy, even though you are not much of a sword fighter than Aether but you could protect yourself for once. When Crown Prince heard you were attacked he immediately assigned you his Loyal Knight who later becomes Imperial Knight respected by citizens, to which you obviously rejected but as persistent as he is you were made to accept the Knight for the time being since all the knights in your family are either afraid of you or not want to serve you and you had no fetish with working with someone who is not willing to be with you.

✥ ۪۪۫۫◃ ✤◃ ۪۪۫۫✥Xiao was very quite and skilled Knight so he was very attentive to your needs, and once caughted you, when you tripped on your gown while climbing staircase, due to which he got on his one knees and asked for your forgiveness. It left you speechless why would he do such thing? Ask for punishment instead of a thanks for saving your bones, you couldn't help but ask him, Xiao's answer made you clutch your fingers, he thought you, a noble lady would get disgusted by his touch since he is lowly born.

✥ ۪۪۫۫◃ ✤◃ ۪۪۫۫✥ You asked him to stand, Xiao is your favorite character who suffered so much and was never able to voice his love for Heroine, you holded his hands in yours, ignoring his body flinching and told him how he should not look down on himself, he is equal, everyone is equal since you all are humans and that you cherish him, he put his life to protect you. You said him all those things you wanted to when you read the Novel, not everything really but it left him blushing while you laughed walking ahead of him what a tsundere.

💙𝓚𝓪𝓮𝔂𝓪

☽༓✮･*˚ A handsome Mage Master kept on disturbing you, the smug looking guy who you meet in Local bars when you were out exploring about the Novel world, he helped you with your case to find out the solution to obtain the land for the project with Duke while giving you many riddles that exhausted you but seeing a worried Xiao was worth it when he says I don't care after nagging you for hours.

☽༓✮･*˚ You doubted if this guy was the one of the Male Leads who was owner of Mage tower because he was exceptional handsome, for a side Character to be so good looking is quite rare, but he debuted after the Grand ball so it couldn't be him, you debated. In Original Novel Plot they never described how he looked, but it was for sure he was popular among ladies. The guy introduced himself as Kaeya, who sometimes requests your presence in Mage tower, only VIP guest were allowed and when you asked him how he managed to get the permission he says it is one of his ways, suspicious enough.

☽༓✮･*˚ You eventually spend more time with him than required which sometimes anger Aether since your time with him reduced, of course you haven't told anything about him to anyone. To save himself, he once introduced you to the group of women flirting with him as his girlfriend. Kaeya sends his familiar in butterfly form for the most stupidest message through your window to which you react differently depending on your mood. 

"How are you my Lady?"

"Am I allowed to miss you?"

"When will you visit me?"

"Have you been using me all this time?, I am heart broken T_T Heal me!"

🧡𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓭𝓮

❀⑅*⋆༶⋆❀⑅* Strong hand holded you securely, as you danced with him, who was wearing black laced mask in Masquerade ball organized by King for a yearly festival which you were forced you to attend by your Father and Crown Prince. One of the guys asked for you to dance with him, as per tradition one cannot reject the another requesting party, otherwise you would have been eating the food served for guests, imperial food is on another level, Zhongli sometimes tries to lure you to spend time with him by making such excuses.

❀⑅*⋆༶⋆❀⑅* The stranger pulled you even more closer saying that you are looking much more prettier than before, your first meeting but you did not recognized him or so you thought, and he told you that you are known as the most beautiful woman in the Kingdom, neighboring Kingdoms takes interest in you. You do remember the guy who helped you in fighting with Bandits both of them have the same hair color and playfulness in their voice.

❀⑅*⋆༶⋆❀⑅* When you asked him about it, if he was the guy from before to which he replied maybe, leaving you in the middle of the dance and bended in the crowd, Mysterious as Childe you thought, whoever he was, you hoped for him to not bring more problems than you already have. A groaning voice of Crown Prince from behind made you turn around questioning you why you danced with other guys than your fiance, you never thought a composed man as Zhongli would whine to you for such a small thing.

[hologramcowboy]

I am a big confused about the whole actor's brand policy so could you help me out? How it works? If social media of an actor reflects his personal life how would it matter in which project he is cast? It can happen that an actor is a loving dad which is all over in sm but plays hardcore villain in screens, how does he ensure his brand in that case?

Hi, anon! Thank you for the great questions! Click the "Keep Reading" link cause my answer turned out longer than what I set out to write.

When an Actor does social media it's not meant to reflect his personal life, it's meant to show his acting types which are all born from his Brand which is defined by his essence. For example, a shy, nerdy guy who is short, socially awkward and neurotic and who has a face that screams nerd = The Geek What characters can he play that embody those qualities? IT Guy, Nerd, Forensic assistant are a few that come to mind. He can play those because he matches the physical attributes and psychological traits of those characters in real life.

Let's take another basic example, let's say there's an actor in his 30s and his look (the first impression people get when he walks into a room) is that of a Leading Man(killer good looks, magnetism that captures a whole room, preppy high class variety - think Jude Law) so he has the potential to grab some pretty fantastic roles but that never happens because he is still stuck on previous roles he played but doesn't know how to promote his authentic essence. Unlike Jude, he is trying to sell himself on an essence that doesn't match who he is and industry professionals will always be able to read right through him. The first job of an Actor is to know Who he is. So this particular guy is trying to sell himself as the butch, aggressive type because that's what his idea of masculinity is even though his core essence is completely different but industry professionals (who have years and years of training and experience and can rarely be fooled) will pick up on his energy and discard him because he is like an avocado trying to pass for a cucumber.

"It can happen that an actor is a loving dad which is all over in sm but plays hardcore villain in screens, how does he ensure his brand in that case?" - What you described could only happen if that actor is unaware of how Hollywood works and has no talent agent/manager/pr team that can advise him to develop his brand. If an actor's main type is the villain, then everything he does meaning photo shoot, interviews, social media posts, media sound bites, red carpet appearances all have to line up with that type. Meaning he can't go around dressed in pink, farting rainbows and talking about vacations at Disney because that contradicts the essence of his brand which is moody, dark, dangerous, mysterious (the attributes depend on the personality of the actor and his overall look so a person can have a villain type that is charming just like another can have a type that is eclectic etc) and that, in turn, makes the buyers lose trust in his authenticity and ability to deliver said type. This is WHY it all needs to be personalized on the unique attributes of said person. If we want to connect it to business because maybe it's easier to understand, we can call it an elevator pitch. So an Actor's Branding Statement is his Sales Pitch.

So going back to our example, a guy in his 30s who has this extraordinary look but is undefined in his branding, casting/producers/etc will take 30 seconds to look at him, note he is good-looking and then move on because at a branding level they don't know what he is selling and they don't have time to figure it out, at best they'll just call him in for stuff he has already done if they are aware of it and are interested in it. (so not if he is not believable) It's his job to make sure all of his materials reflect the directions he wants to take with his career and, most importantly, that they reflect his essence in an authentic way only then will he be taken seriously and actually be in the run to nab the roles he dreams of.

An Actor that posts personal stuff in an unbranded way is unprofessional, if he wants to create an account to share things with his family he can do so privately. Publicly he has an image and a brand to maintain and industry professionals to respect and connect with. So it's important for Actors to ensure they are not contradicting or diluting their brand by posting confusing things on SM. Many have lost their careers or opportunities over things they posted on social media because, like it or not, people will look into them and when the message they sell doesn't line up with who they are this will raise a few questions and will make them seem as a potential risk.

Let's take another simple example, if a girl's type is best friend and then when casting goes to her social media she only posts pictures from high end events, dressed like a trophy wife, super glamorous etc then she will be discarded for Best Friend roles (even though that is her main essence) because her social media is sending another message and she's more in the WAG/Socialite category. There's a discrepancy between her essence and what she does and so she's not trustworthy and she's not faithful to the brand that makes her the ideal choice for certain roles and that best represents her essence. So if the movie in question requires a Best Friend with certain qualities, that actress is going to get discarded because of her SM image telling a completely different story. She might be the best one to play that role and it won't matter because she will never get called in since it seems she does not authentically embody that essence after all.

Or let's look at Danneel who has one of the bitchiest faces on the planet but refuses to accept this and keeps trying to pass for religious etc while at the same time going for naked roles and such or even worse, roles like Lawyer, Medic when she clearly does not have the required intelligence for those types of roles. She even tried to go for funny leading lady and it tanked epically. Why? Because she's simply not believable and all those wig changes etc had her looking like a Z list 'pin up' who randomly got assigned a part in a tv series because she probably had a connection or two. The series got cancelled, that's what happens when actors aren't believable and cannot create realistic chemistry. Didn;t help that she show was marketed as "group of twenty-something singles as they navigate the difficult, sometimes rewarding yet often confusing, world of dating" but Danneel looked over 40 and had zero credibility as a medic let alone as a friend.

As a contrasting example, Supernatural didn't have the biggest budget in the world but it worked. Why? Because of the chemistry between the leads, this is why the show endured.The leads were believable even when the special effects or anything else around them may not have been. The bond between the brothers became the brand Jared and Jensen are associated to within the context of said show and for good reason.

All that being said, can an actor display multiple sides of their personality? Sure. Look at Henry Cavill, he's admitted to nerdy qualities but at the same time he works day in and out at his leading man body and gets involved in anything that propels him towards the roles he wants, his sponsorships are all on brand and when he does share personal moments, yet again, they are in line with who he branded himself as, he steers clear of anything that might cause him to be ineligible for the roles he is aiming for. Even his nerdyness was smartly utilized by him to make him a top choice when it comes to hero/super hero projects. Henry knows how to sell himself.

Are there exceptions to the rules? Of course, but to break anything you have to be smart and strategic enough to know how to position yourself. Branding is a consistent thing in Hollywood, it is employed by A listers too, the bigger the profile the bigger the strategy. Some Actors have no social media presence because their are more reclusive or their types thrive on mystery and surprise therefore having a social media presence would dilute their brand.

Here a few questions to ask when reviewing content on SM and deciding whether or not it should be deep cleaned:

Is is cringe-worthy or controversial?

How does the post you made inform industry professionals about you? Would seeing it ruin your opportunities? (example: if you are always complaining about one thing or the other or posting about personal drama them than makes you uncastable because casting is going to assume you act like an immature child on set or like a diva even if the topic you are complaining about is outside the industry, internet Fights, etc are also a no-no obviously - see Danneel's constant bullying instead of blocking or not responding that's the kinda Klassy that will get you on the unhirable list as well as make professionals wonder about your sanity which is a key factor on a set lol)

Does your content show people how to cast you next? (again, to do this an Actor must know WHO he is and what roles he can most realistically play)

Is the content on brand for the product that is You or is it confusing your buyers? (e.g. Shy geek posting shirtless pictures is way off brand, Zac Effron posting shirtless pictures is more than on brand)

Does it paint you in a bad light or make you look unprofessional? (drunken photos/videos, pictures of people cleaning toilets etc are all stuff that first of all don't belong online but if they must, keep them on a personal profile between you and friends not on a public one) Anything that makes you look like you might be a risk or unprofessional on set or on a personal level must go otherwise people will decide it's not wise to hire you since there's so much about you that just doesn't click and so many potentially bad outcomes that could result from your lack of professionalism.

Hopefully, I managed to make some sense out of actor branding statements for you, I'm still recovering from all the Christmas mayhem. 😂

[vampiricsheep]

Character Profile: Banni

my beloved @bird-bureau inspired me to write up some profiles for the urban fantasy verse and, well, I felt like sketching banni tonight, so here we are! Not sure how many more I'll make since I have pages of my comic to finish and two classes to keep up with, but there's no harm in starting a project that doesn't require finishing. I'm just considering it a nice little practice for now.

profile will be under the cut for lengthiness!

Name: Banni

Pronouns: they/them

Age: mid-20s

Orientation: likes men and masc nbs

Species: Werewolf

_______________

Physical characteristics

human: Scruffy with a perpetual "haunted" appearance characterized by visible tension, jumpiness, and dark circles under their eyes. Their hair has a subtle peak and is brown, straight, and messy; hangs down to roughly chin height. Their eyes are a pale leaf green and their skin is a very light tan. They have a noticable overbite and somewhat buck teeth.

around 4'5" but, due to varying posture and toe-walking habits, may seem shorter or taller situationally. They nonetheless have adult proportions. Their legs are on the thick side, but their wrists are very skinny. Their chest is flat but heavily scarred; they will avoid showing their scars as much as possible.

half-shifted: an almost comically stringy and bony creature somewhere between human and wolf with gnarled hands and ears too long and pointed to look like a wolf's. Can be bipedal or quadrupedal. roughly 5' tall if standing straight (they won't).

full-shifted: a smallish wolf with short but scruffy blonde fur that looks white in poor light. Proportions similar to a red wolf. Due to size and proportions may be mistaken for a coyote or dog to the untrained observer.

accessories: Banni has two gold rings in the cartilage of their right ear. They wear or carry a plain canvas backpack of average size but large for them.

attire: Due to height they struggle to find clothes that fit, so most things they wear will look quite loose. They prefer hoodies or tees and shorts; most pants that would fit their legs are far too long. Typically they'll wear neutral colors and soft greens, but their attire is whatever they can find, and their wardrobe is restricted to whatever they can fit in their backpack without taking up needed space. Banni does not wear shoes; their feet are calloused enough to tolerate most conditions and they can't afford the additional weight in their bag.

_____

Abilities:

Banni can transform into full or partial-wolf at will, and retains full cognitive function. The transformation is physical and does not take clothes with it, so they have to work around placing their outfit and backpack between full transformations.

Banni can also merge with their wolf companion. Doing so will always affect them physically:

if remaining human - eyes become yellow, ears become pointed and furred, hands and feet become clawed and a little gnarled

if half-wolf - a foot taller, muscular, and red eyes instead of green

if full-wolf - larger, stronger, with darker fur and yellow eyes instead of green

These abilities are innate and cannot be transmitted.

___

Behavioral/Physiological Characteristics:

Banni is never far from their animal companion, a large arctic wolf named Moss. If for any reason Moss would be prohibited from somewhere they enter or would attract too much attention, Banni will merge with him, then Banni will pull their hood up and sleeves down to hide the tells.

When they're comfortable around people in-the-know, they may accidentally partially transform without realizing it (e.g. human with wolf ears or tail).

They tend to walk on the balls of their feet and leaning or slouching forward with arms close to the chest or a hand on their wolf companion's shoulder.

Banni is incredibly nearsighted and does not use sight aids, so they typically bring objects close enough to touch their nose if they need to examine details or read. Reading gives them a headache for this reason, but they are still quite literate and have a large vocabulary they don't often use.

They are so soft-spoken that their voice is best described as a whisper, and they struggle to effectively raise it.

__________

Personality:

Banni is shy but happy to talk to anyone who becomes a regular welcoming presence. They both long for true love and are terrified of seeking it out. Banni is polyamorous, and worries that that complicates their chances as well. They don't immediately trust people who are friendly or flirtatious with them despite wanting that attention, but they warm up with time.

Banni is indeed haunted by their past, and struggles to shake the scars of events and people they refuse to discuss. If pressed for details, they shut down and may even flee if the subject isn't changed.

They have a heightened flight response, and intense stress may result in them fleeing and hiding until they've had enough time and distance to calm down or a sympathetic individual is able to communicate with them appropriately.

Banni [like myself] has bipolar and is prone to irrational behavior and mood swings if situations are too stressful for them to practice self-stabilizing techniques.

[winterandwords]

This or That: Writer Edition

@drabbleitout tagged me with some writing preferences to choose between. I'm compulsively indecisive, so this should be fun...

1. Historical or Futuristic

Futuristic. OK, maybe I'll be able to do this without excessive dithering.

2. The Opening or Closing Chapter

Nope. I will dither. I...ahhhh. I don't know. Both?! Can I have both?

3. Light + Fluffy or Dark + Gritty

Dark + Gritty! I'm pretty sure I can make fluff dark and gritty too.

4. Animal Companion or Found Family

Found family. I have a weakness for the whole "there's a place for everyone somewhere" thing.

5. Horror or Romance

Yes. Don't make me choose. Allow me to combine. Thank you.

6. Hard or Soft Magic System

I don't write magic ever. It's one of those things that just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest, to the point of aversion. I don't mean other people don't write it in an engaging way, but it doesn't do anything for me as a writing experience.

7. Standalone or Series

Umm...standalone, I think? I've written a series and I didn't enjoy it as much as writing standalones, but that doesn't mean I'd never enjoy writing a series again.

8. One Project at a Time or Always Juggling 2+

Either one at a time, or one main focus with a secondary project that I'm casually playing around with. I find it hard to switch between entire worlds in my brain, so if I do have more than one project on the go, I still can't actively draft them both simultaneously. I can edit one and draft another though, if that counts.

10. Fantasy or Sci-fi

Sci-fi. I'm really not a fantasy person. Again, I don't hate reading it, but I very rarely feel compelled to write it.

11. Character or Setting Description

Setting description from the perspective of a character. Character description through their perception of a setting. Yes, I know I'm cheating. Shut up. I write a lot in first person, so this is how it goes for me. I very rarely do descriptions of characters' appearances beyond specifics that another character would notice, and those aren't usually standard physical description traits. It's an intentional choice because while I have very clear pictures of my characters in my own head, I love the thought of other people's picturing them in their own way.

12. First or Final Draft

Both again. I can't choose. I love the wild creative abandon of discovery drafting, but I also love the satisfaction of finishing a project.

13. Literary or ‘Commercial’ Genre

Literary. Even when I've tried to write something more genre-ish, it's been like...yes, but what about experimental narrative structures and also make everything weird and introspective and obsessively character driven?

14. Love Triangle in Everything or No Romantic Arcs

I have no interest in love triangles as a thing. My perspective on romantic arcs can be summed up in part of how I describe November Breaks - this is a love story like crude oil is a tea. I mean, yes, I technically write romantic arcs, BUT.

15. Constant Sandstorm or Rainstorm

Constant rain. Rain forever. Storms. Big fucking storms. Weather symbolism is life.

Tagging @thegreatobsesso, @diphthongsfordays, @the-finch-address and @manathen if you want to do it.