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yesimwriting · 3 years

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Hello! Your Nikolai fic tranquility is so beautiful! Can you write more for Nikolai? Maybe the opposite with reader having a nightmare? Or whatever you want just please give me more! If you have a tagging list I'd love to be included btw :)

A/n hii!! first off,, thank you! i was a little nervous about writing him for the first time,, but i love him so much (even though i love a good villain/morally grey character in love i think nikolai would probably make the least toxic bf in the grishaverse lol)

you gave me a little too much freedom here lol bc i have so many ideas for him!! lowkey might need to give him a longer fic/series soon when i catch up with requests!! WOW THIS FIC IS SO LONG AND FOR WHAT

Summary: Reader is a handmaid who has grown up assisting Nikolai. Through the years, the two have developed a special relationship that most definitely breaks royal protocol--they’re best friends and rivals on a good day, and dangerously close to being something more the second either of them is remotely upset or extremely happy. Learning about the fact that Nikolai was almost engaged to Alina (a good friend of yours) and being reminded of the fact that as royalty Nikolai has many prospects (both serious women worthy of his title and women only suitable for trysts meant to relieve tension) has you both realizing something you should have years ago.

Word count: 31210

Warnings: disclaimer--may not be the most cannon thing ever,, but i wanted the ‘child of the help competes and falls in love with the child of royalty’ energy okay?? Lol

I could do a whole blurb series with this dynamic nikolai x reader,, like just stories of them growing up together and randomly realizing they might like each other romantically?? I probably shouldn’t rn but i ADORE this trope.

The perfection of the room is disappointing. Idle hands, idle thoughts--so I work to smooth out a perfect duvet. Still, the thoughts come--aggressive and unavoidable. It’s silly, maybe even sad, to feel possessive over something that’s never been yours, something that could never be yours, but the harder I fight off the feeling the stronger it grows. Jealousy is a weed growing quickly in my chest, vile roots planted firmly in my heart.

Normally my favorite part of the day would be waiting for Nikolai to return to his room in the palace after dinner and his evening duties. He’s always a bit softer in the evenings, during my last check-in of the day. I’m normally thrilled to be done organizing his room early because that means the second he arrives there will be no distraction. Most evenings, he’ll find me perched in the seat by his bed, reading. He’ll mock-scold me for daring to defy his orders and reading ahead from the book we both take turns reading aloud from each night. He then warns me that I better react exactly the way I did when I first read it or else. That threat is always followed by a gentle laugh.

Tonight I’m in no mood for our nightly banter or even our nightly reading. My mother had warned me of the dangers of getting too comfortable with the royal family. I should have heeded that warning when she first gave it to me, the morning she found Nikolai and I fast asleep on a couch in the library as children. The palace likes to bring up the children of the staff by training them to attend to the next generation of royals. It makes the staff more efficient, a lifetime of knowing what someone wants makes you better for them. It also creates some level of connection, making betrayal a little less likely. Nikolai and I might have taken it farther than most. But now I want a reminder of the way we’re supposed to be--maybe if I detach now the bleeding of my heart won’t kill me. That has to remain secret, because if I explain it to Nikolai something in me will break. The one line between us will be crossed.

This will be the sixth secret I’ve kept from Nikolai in my entire life.

The secrets:

I don’t know why I was picked for Nikolai. I wasn’t particularly skilled, but still, the day came when my mother was told that I now worked directly for the Lantsov boy. It’s an honor, a true one, but my mother had been a little nervous. To whom much is given, much is expected--and I detested Nikolai. Not for being a prince, but for being a prince who thought girls couldn’t race or fight.

The day my mother came looking for me because I never showed up for dinner and she found Nikolai and I attempting to fight in the way only a ten-year-old girl and eleven-year-old boy would, she had looked truly mortified. Nikolai had only laughed, either oblivious to my mother’s embarrassment or uncaring about it. He had then hugged me--an expression of care that had left me reeling. I saw him more as a rival than someone to tend to, but in that moment I saw him as a friend. Even more so when he told me he didn’t want me to go yet and that he was upset that so much of the day had been wasted by studies that kept him with boring people and away from me. And then he invited me to his lessons--my mother was quick to attempt to decline politely, but the desires of a prince at any age outweigh that of a mother.

After that, everyone kind of just stopped trying to remind us of our propriety. The tutor at first was concerned about my presence, but Nikolai remained stubborn. I wasn’t a big enough deal to cause an argument, so I began to attend lessons with him almost every day, only staying away when my mother needed aid with laundry or cleaning. His parents must have been somewhat aware of our friendship, but they must have been oblivious to our closeness because it was never mentioned.

My mother’s worry began to ease, she’d even started to take some pride when I’d come to our room proudly proclaiming that I scored two marks higher than Nikolai. She did, however, warn that it might be more tactful to let him score higher.

The comment was casual, just a suggestion, but it left me feeling wrong. It was the first time since we met that I had thought about our different statuses. I didn’t tell him--and that was the first secret I ever kept from him.

As we grew, we traded physical competition for academic rivalry, trying to best each other in both lessons and games of strategy like chess and cards. But with growing comes responsibility. Nikolai started to have obligations that were meant to be private. I couldn’t follow him at all times. But he’d always come back from locked door meetings grinning like he carried schoolyard gossip instead of government secrets. He shared everything with me, even when I playfully warned against it.

He’d always step closer when I teased that perhaps he shouldn’t tell me everything. And then he’d say, “If I can’t trust you, then I can’t trust anyone--and I don’t want to live in a world like that.” Often, he’d give my hand a light squeeze before moving on like he had not said anything intimate.

On a day in which Nikolai was in one of those meetings, I became a woman. When I first saw the blood, I had been horrified--but my mother was quick to explain that it was natural. She said that I was now a woman, a wonderful thing, really--but a thing that came with obligations. She told me that I could no longer have the impromptu ‘sleepovers’ with Nikolai unless he ordered it. I told her he’s never ordered me to do anything for him.

She didn’t ease, something in her had started to become nervous again. My mother had recently started to act the way she did when Nikolai and I first became friends. I didn’t want to fall asleep in Nikolai’s bed while I was bleeding, but I didn’t want to never have another sleepover with him again. Especially not when she refused to explain why being a woman changed so much.

I had decided to avoid Nikolai as much as possible until the sting of my mother’s new rule faded. Unfortunately, that night Nikolai was extra talkative--excited as he insisted I stay for a little longer. Soon, I found his familiar good naturedness melting away my nerves and before I knew it I was laughing in the middle of the night. When my eyelids started to feel heavy, I had moved from the chair, ready to head back to my room.

Nikolai had looked at me oddly before he asked why would I leave so late when it would be easier for me to just sleepover? It was an innocent question, he did not know about my change and I had wanted to keep it that way.

I tried playing coy, but Nikolai has always had a talent for getting around my better judgement. I don’t recall exactly how it happened, but I remember him standing in front of me. It was the first time I noticed how much had actually changed over the years--he was now taller than me for the first time in his life. His hair had started to grow a little longer, golden and soft-looking--and his face seemed much more angular. But he had not lost his boyish charm.

“Y/n?” My name fell softly from his lips, and that was the first time I had ever noted the fullness of them. I didn’t understand why I considered that something worth noting. “Did I do something to make you mad at me?”

Perhaps I had been a little curt--nerves and hormones had left me not feeling like myself. I didn’t tell him about the bleeding, I couldn’t. That became the second secret I kept from him--but I did tell him that my mother had told me I was a woman now, and that women can’t have sleepovers. Not with those of the opposite gender. I made no effort to hide my confusion because I expected him to be as perplexed as I was. But he was not confused--in fact, he had the audacity to laugh. My face flushed, but I did not know why.

“Why is that funny?” Maybe he thought I was still too much of a child to be considered a woman. I assumed it a fair assumption, I had not grown the way he had--my shoulders had not become sturdier and I had not become particularly broader. Still, I would rather melt into the floor than tell him about the reason my mother now considered me a woman. “My mother did say that, and I don’t know what being a ‘woman’ has to do with staying in your room at night.” Something strange had crossed over his features then, something much more brooding than I was used to.

I had blinked at him as unexplained nerves pooled in my stomach. Perhaps that look would have been enough to keep me silent if he had managed to not grin. That self-assured grin that had always challenged me. “Well since you know everything about my mother now, maybe you can tell me why she’s been acting strange. She’s starting to act the way she did when we first became friends.” I expected him to at least pretend to be worried. Perhaps his parents had spoken to her and had mentioned wanting our friendship to end. But his grin had only grown. Pride left me angry. “She did say that I could stay if you ordered it--but I’m glad you’ve never ordered me to do anything, so I can leave right now because you’re acting as odd as her. I don’t understand what you could find funny about our friendship ending.”

He had stopped me from storming out of his room by placing one hand on the wall between me and the door. “Y/n, don’t be cross--I’ll explain it all, I promise.” Angry pride made me want to storm away from him, but curiosity and something unknown and warm kept me in place. “Do you remember when we read the play about the rival families, how the two main characters had kissed?”

I remembered that part of the play especially well. The concept of kissing so casually, outside of marriage, had been jarring to me. “Yes.”

“Now that we’re older, your mother must be worried that we might do that.” He paused before leaning against the arm he placed on the wall to keep me from leaving a little more. “Kiss.”

The clarification was not needed--in that brief pause, I had allowed myself to imagine no distance between our lips. Something in me burned with embarrassment when I realized that some part of me found the thought appealing. The only thing I wanted in that moment was assurance that Nikolai would never know I felt that. That was my third secret, and the weight of it was heavy against my chest.

Still, though, all of my confusion had not yet left. “Is there much harm in a kiss?”

The question had left an odd smile on his lips. “There’s potential harm in what it could lead to for the woman, but not so much for the man.” He exhaled slowly as my face tensed. He could always read me too well because he was quick to add, “What it could lead to isn’t a bad thing, it’s meant to be pleasurable, but it’s serious.” I did not understand, but a part of me was starting to grow okay with that. Nikolai’s voice had started to become lower than ever, and his gaze remained tense. Perhaps if I accepted the confusion for now, things could go back to normal. If the conversation ended, I could stop thinking of his lips and his hands and what it would mean for them to touch me. “It’s considered a vice, like drinking or gambling.” The additional comment helped more than it should have. A vice--not scary and not painful, but not something to indulge in. That’s enough explanation for now. “If you want to know, I won’t deny you.”

I appreciated the offer tremendously. The vice that comes after kissing is clearly something that’s been intentionally kept from me. It’s something he was privy to that I was not, and he offered it to me like so much else. But if knowledge that my mother feared us kissing made me think of his lips, then I doubted I could handle knowing what comes after kissing.

“I’ll let you know when I want to know, but I appreciate the offer.” It felt like a fair response. His snarky grin came back immediately. Irritation rooted itself in my stomach. I hated not knowing more than him for once, but I still had one question I could not relinquish. “But what does that vice have to do with orders?”

At that, his smugness faltered. “It’s not unheard of, for princes and handmaids--for a prince to obligate a handmaid in order to fulfill his vice. Though many handmaids fill the vice of their own will for benefits.

The explanation left him like a confession. I didn’t understand his hesitance--it’s not like he’d ever make me do anything I didn’t want to do. Even when I worked, he was hesitant to ask me to go out of my way to bring him a glass of water. And I couldn’t imagine gaining anything from offering Nikolai something I didn’t really understand. I wasn’t naive to the fact that my life had more privileges than many palace servants. “Oh.”

His eyes hardened. “You know I’d never--”

“I know.” It was finally easy to smile again. “I never thought otherwise.” Something in him seemed to ease at that, his eyes went from hard to warm in less than a second.

I had no more questions for him and I was also no longer a flight risk, but Nikolai did not move. He did not step back to create a more appropriate distance and he did not drop his arm. His gaze, however, did move--dropping downwards, and slightly away from my eyes. I did the same, my eyes falling to his lips.

The silence between us began to make me feel like something in me was in danger of overflowing. “Then I guess my mother is once again worrying for no reason.” Strangely, I did not feel the need to feel embarrassed about staring at his lips. “Because I would never particularly want to kiss you, Nikolai Lantsov.”

The comment was meant to be teasing, a joke to clear away unknown tension. I should have known better than to challenge his pride because he instinctually moved his hand off the wall and beneath my chin. I did not flinch when he tilted my head upwards slightly with his fingers. “I could get you to want to kiss me if I wanted to.”

Three secrets in one night. I did not think I could bear a fourth one. “Hm…” The ground we treaded on felt unstable, but something in me trusted Nikolai to not let me falter. “I should--I should go before I give my mother anymore cause to worry.”

His fingers had brushed down my chin easily as he dropped his hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

And that he did. The days passed without mention of the last time he asked me to sleepover. It was as if nothing had changed except now I found myself noting things I most definitely did not want to note. These didn’t feel like individual secrets because it felt easy to group each admirational thought into one secret. Soon, that became my new normal--easy banter, easy touches of hands, and easy yet silent admirations of his beauty.

I never wandered too hard about what the vice that kissing can lead to entailed. I didn't particularly want to know, but knowing that I could ask Nikolai at any time brought a sense of security to me. But besides that, I never thought of that conversation until the day I was asked to look for Nikolai because he was late for dinner.

That in itself was odd, most of the time when Nikolai was late it was because he was with you. I checked his room, two other rooms he was known to frequent, and then finally the library. First, I noticed a handmaid two years older than me. I was finally at an age when one begins to compare their beauty to those around them, and I recognized the girl as gorgeous. She was better endowed than me, physically, and she always seemed fun. And then I noticed Nikolai, standing closer to her than I’ve ever seen him stand to anyone. His expression was serious as the girl giggled.

Nikolai’s expression shifted from tense to shocked when he saw me. “Y/n.”

It took me a moment longer than it should have to realize what I had interrupted. Guilt and jealousy were quick to twist in my stomach. “Dinner--your parents sent me to look for you.”

He was quick to walk around the girl, who was quick to glare at me. I attempted to disappear down the hall after mumbling a quick apology, but Nikolai was faster than me.

“Y/n,” he did not hesitate to grab my wrist.

It shouldn’t have irked me the way it did, after all, neither of us had ever really hesitated to touch each other. I had always reached for him when I wanted him, and he had done the same. But the thought of the same hands that touched the most beautiful girl I had ever seen on me left me bitter in a way I didn’t understand.

Still, I pushed through all of that. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything, your mother asked me to look for you because she assumed you’d be with me when you were late to dinner. I didn’t think that there’d be--”

“You didn’t interrupt anything.” The words came out flat as his eyes took on the same quality they did the night he explained my mother’s concern to me. “Valaria wishes there was something to interrupt, but there wasn’t.”

Oh. I refused to let the correction inflate me. “Would you like me to not come to your room tonight?”

The offer felt awkward to make. “No,” the answer came quickly, “In fact, go there now--I want to see you right after dinner. I’ve missed you today.” The instruction left my face feeling warm. “We could read an extra chapter of our book if you’d like.”

Despite myself, I grinned. “Yes.”

“Looking forward to it.”

True to his word, Nikolai was quick to return to his room. He had come back to me eagerly, going out of his way to squeeze my shoulder as he entered the room.

I opened the book to the chapter we had left off on, but before I could start reading, Nikolai stopped me. “Sit next to me?”

The question came softly. It had been some time since we sat next to each other on his bed. Still, I moved off of the chair and to his bed. Something in me longed for the familiar closeness of childhood. I allowed him to play with my fingers as I read.

“You know you could take one night off from me if you wanted to.” The admission left me softly, part of unsure if he was still paying attention to my words. “She was pretty, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings if you told me you wanted me to not come tonight.”

Nikolai exhaled easily, squeezing my fingers once. “I said I wanted to see you and I meant it.”

It took all of my energy to push past the way his words made my stomach leap. “In general, if you ever--”

Nikolai cut me off by laying his head on my lap the way he used to. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” It was the first time in years that he spoke to me in a way that acknowledged his authority. “Keep reading please.”

And that was the last time we had ever mentioned other handmaids in that context. The fifth secret I ever kept from him was the way I worried that one day that would change.

The door creaks open while I’m in the middle of fluffing an already pristine pillow. Nikolai steps into the room, but I continue to work.

“Darling,” he breathes too easily, “Today has been painful.” I straighten, looking at him as casually as I can manage. “And now I have to deal with you being mad at me.”

Damn him and his ability to read me with one look. “I’m not mad.”

“You know you can’t lie to me,” he sighs, stepping forward, “We’ve known each other too long for that.”

I press my lips together, irrational anger pushing itself into me at an odd angle. “We’ve also known each other too long to keep secrets.”

His eyebrows draw together, a look so quizzical I’m reminded of our schooling days. “What secrets have I kept from you?”

Mentioning that had been a mistake. I exhale as flatly as possible. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” My dismissal only has Nikolai’s expression hardening. I drop my gaze. “Unless you need something, I’m retiring my services for the evening.”

I take a reluctant step towards the door, eyes attached to the floor. “Y/n,” his voice is gentle. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.” Please let that be at least somewhat believable. “I’m sure I’ll feel more like myself in the morning.” I take another step, a little more assured. Nikolai’s hand is on my shoulder before I can escape. “Nikolai--”

“Y/n,” his voice is that of velvet, “I can’t have you be mad at me. Not now.”

Sighing, I meet his gaze. The tiredness I see behind his eyes is almost enough to chase away my nerve. What I’d give to be able to melt into our familiar routine. “Then you should have told me you were almost engaged to a literal Saint--the same literal Saint who’s one of my closest friends.”

Nikolai’s expression shifts as his hand drops from my shoulder slowly, fingers brushing down my arm before he finally intertwines our fingers. I bite my tongue to avoid squeezing his hand, but I don’t move to separate us either. He studies me silently, eyebrows drawn together. The longer he stares, the more whatever turmoil he’s experiencing seems to dissipate. After a minute of silence, I can read his expression perfectly. His lips are pressed together in that coy way--the way he only looks when he’s suppressing a smile.

I loathe him for it. “Nikolai Lantsov, don’t you dare laugh--not after what you did. Do you have any idea what it felt like to have Alina casually mention the fact that you almost married her casually? Like that was common knowledge to everyone but me?”

My words break away the last of his self control. He grins, flashing his annoyingly perfect teeth. “Do you have any idea what it feels like for me to want nothing more than to see you and then you let me believe something may actually be wrong when the only issue is your jealousy?”

The amusement in his tone is like poison to me. I find the strength to jerk my hand away from him. “I am not jealous.” He laughs; I am further enraged. “I am not.” The genuineness of my anger must finally register on some level, because he tries to suppress his smile. “I have every right to be mad at my best friend for not telling me that he was almost married.”

“We didn’t exactly come close,” he manages, expression still much too light for my taste. “I’m glad for Alina’s sake, I’m not sure being a Saint would be enough to protect her.”

He is infuriating. “I’m not sure anything you have will be enough to protect you.”

Something in his gaze shifts, softening the tilt of his mouth. “I don’t doubt that.”

I don’t know what I expected from him--but not this. I thought he’d be at least somewhat apologetic. “You should have told me.”

“I would have if I felt it was significant.”

“I’m your best friend--your marriage is significant to me. And even though it’s not like you’re engaged to her right now, you should have told me. You know I talk to Alina all the time.”

He sighs once, a hint of apology threatening to ghost over his eyes. “If I knew not knowing would have upset you so much I would have told you. I was--I was just so excited to be around you again I didn’t see much relevance in anything that didn’t involve you.”

The intensity that Nikolai regards me with is enough to wither all of my fury. But without my anger, I am left spiraling in emotion that I’ve been pushing against for years. My mother’s warning about relationships with those above us rings in my ears--sharp and headache inducing. I am still when he reaches for my hand again, but I do no allow myself to return the gentle squeeze of his fingers.

“I’m not sure much outside of you has significance.” He’s giving me a look I am familiar with. A look he often uses to chase away my anger.

Without my anger, I have nothing to keep me from melting into him, indulging in his presence fully. It’s so easy with him and I blinded myself to the danger of that. He may not be marrying Alina, but one day he will marry someone. A person worthy of his status--and what would I be left doing? Washing their laundry? Tearing up when I dusted the library and came across a book we had read together? Enough damage has already been done--I need to cut myself with this blade now in hopes of making sure I can one day recover.

He will get married one day, and nothing will be the same. And that’s a good thing--he deserves the love of a princess or queen. I want his happiness, even if it’s not with me. But some vindictive part of me hopes that some part of him will miss me. That some part of him will be dulled without me.

I’m a fool--he will remember me as the handmaid from his youth. The girl who made him laugh once or twice before he grew up. I force my hand out of his grasp. “You can’t win me over with words every time.” I need to get out of here before he says something that makes me lose all resolve. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be here to prepare you for breakfast.”

“Y/n.”

I step forward, refusing to look at him. “Goodnight.”

He sighs, his hand quick to grab my arm. Before I can question him I feel myself pulled back. I expect him to pull me just close enough so that I have to meet his gaze. He continues, pulling me sharply before placing a quick hand on my shoulder, forcing me down. My back hits his bed.

I sit up as soon as the reality of what just happened seeps into my mind. “Nikolai, what in the Saints--”

“If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one.”

I scoff, thoughts of escaping him put on hold by the principle of pride. Fine. I’ll beat him one last time, and then I’ll let us separate. I shove him. He laughs--of course this is funny to him. He got to keep fighting past the age of about eleven. His laughter adds to my anger, I move to shove him again, but he catches my wrist easily. I struggle against his hold, shoving him a third time with my still free hand. He pushes me slightly. That’s all it takes to unleash familiar habits.

Our small fight is hardly fair. He has all the advantage--more training, and he’s standing above me. When I finally make a move that might give me some success, Nikolai leans forward. He practically tackles me, his weight forcing me flat against the bed.

I move an arm, ready to push him off of me. Nikolai snags my wrists, holding them above my head. “This means I win.” I roll my eyes, anger returning.

“Let me go.”

He sighs tiredly, but the smugness radiating off of him is suffocating. “Admit that you were jealous.”

There are a lot of things I am willing to do for him--but never that. I cannot give him the one separation I still have. “I wasn’t.”

“Then why are you mad?”

I press my lips together. “I told you--”

“Do you really think you could lie to me?”

“You don’t know me that well.”

Nikolai moves his freehand, touching my chin as a way to ask me to look at him. I meet his gaze hesitantly. “Yes, I do, and that’s never bothered you before but it does now.”

Maybe this is a conversation better had bluntly. “It bothers me now because you’re too old to hold onto the daughter of a palace handmaid and I’m too old to pretend that our different statuses don’t matter.”

“Y/n,” he breathes, “Nothing’s changed. Status didn’t matter to me when we were children, and it doesn’t matter to me now.”

“You can afford to say things like that.”

“What good is my title if it means I can’t,” he pauses, eyes hesitant, “If I can’t keep things the same between us?”

I smile, the sadness of the look weighs on me and I can’t even see it. “Nikolai, you always knew things would change.”

“No, I--”

“You can’t tell me you think your future wife would like you having such a close relationship with a handmaid.” I press my lips together. “One day you’ll fall in love and get married and you’ll want me to leave your bedchamber as soon as dinner is over because you’ll be eager to spend time with your wife.” His gaze hardens. “And that’s not a bad thing. It’s actually a really good thi--”

The last syllable of my sentence dies in my throat. Nikolai, who must be possessed by something, leans down and presses his lips against mine. I beg myself to resist, but his gentleness is everything I’ve ever wanted. He releases my hands in favor of holding my face. That’s all it takes--my hands move without my permission, into his hair--pulling him closer to me. What am I doing? I’m insane. Placing my hands on his chest cautiously, I push just slightly. He’s quick to obey, pulling away while allowing his teeth to brush against my bottom lip.

I gape at him--taking in his now slightly swollen lips. “Nikolai.” He can’t do this to me. We’re friends. Despite the fact that I’ve loved him more than I should--we’re friends. “You’re being extremely unfair.”

He draws his eyebrows together, sitting up quickly and moving off of me. “I’m being unfair? I have spent my entire life loving y--”

I sit up, furious in a new way. “You have not!” This is the dumbest I have ever been. I move to stand, still feeling the softness of his lips against mine.

“Your tooth fell out.” The sharpness of his words forces me to still.

“What?”

I can’t bring myself to turn and look at him, but I’ve always been able to feel any heaviness he bears. The weight of it leaves little room for air in my lungs. “You were ten. I told you ‘girls couldn’t fight’ so you punched me in the face. That was the first time we ever fought--I didn’t mean to hit you in the face, but you moved. You moved and I hit you in the mouth and your last baby tooth fell out. I expected you to cry or get angry, but you just blinked at me and laughed. You were happy to lose your last baby tooth because it meant you were grown up. And then you smiled and asked me if you looked older. If anything, the gap in your smile made you look younger but I told you that you looked like a grown-up because I wanted you to keep smiling. Because your smile made me feel like I won something.” I turn on my heels, but I cannot meet his gaze. “That was the moment I fell in love with you--so don’t tell me I haven’t spent my entire life loving you.”

The weight of his words is harder to survive against than the heaviness of his feelings. “Nikolai, you know we can’t ever be together--”

“Why not?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” I manage, voice low, “You almost married the Sun Summoner--”

“That was political--”

“Exactly, your marriage is meant to be political, and if it happens to be out of love--which is what I hope you get, because it is what you deserve--it will be to someone of status.”

Nikolai stands, the movement is that of a king, not the boy I know. “I do not want status or to love someone else--I want you.”

“I can’t take that from you--”

“You can’t take anything from me because I’ve already given it all to you.”

I press my lips together, heart tearing for him. “I love you too much to ruin you.”

My words seem to snap something in him because his eyes darken, the way he watches me adjusting accordingly. “You can’t ruin something that’s always been yours.”

I let myself smile. At him. At his words. At the foolish hope the child in me has clung to after all of these years. I reach for him thoughtlessly, because I have the right to. Because I’ve always had the right to. He’s quick to respond, kissing me with much more security than before.

This time, he pulls away of his own regard. “You still haven’t admitted that you were jealous.”

His teasing smugness isn’t as sour to me anymore. “I wasn’t.”

Nikolai pulls me towards him easily, lips threatening to brush against me, warm breath against my face. “Are you sure, darling? You were awfully quick to claim what’s yours.”

I roll my eyes, grinning so widely I’m surprised my face doesn’t yet hurt. “You’re the one that fell for a ten-year-old girl with a bloody mouth.”

When he smiles back at me, he places a hand on my hip, pulling me forward slightly. “That I did.” He pulls me forward slightly. "Does this mean you can sleep in here again?"

"If anything, this is more reason for me to sleep in another room." He rolls his eyes, pulling me even closer. "But I won't tell if you don't."

Nikolai leans forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Deal."

tags: @deardiarystuff @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone imagine #grisha #Grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse imagine #grishaverse x reader #shadow and bone netflix

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gold-pavilion · 2 years

Note

I read your analysis on Inukoko and Takemikey and I think they are very good! You make a lot of valid points that I haven't seen and you have a good understanding of Japanese culture to take it into account. That said, what are your thoughts on other characters that the fandom attributes to being LGBT? (example. Hakkai, Ran Haitani and Hina as trans) Sorry for the inconvenience, I'm from Brazil and I used a translator for the question. =)

WAHH THANKSSSS I try to be fair with things and keep a good separation between my canon-only perspective with language + cultural data I happen to know, and my personal interpretations and self-indulgence!! I'M VERY HAPPY WITH YOUR COMMENT HONESTLY AAAAAA

And well, WELL.

You guys know how it is with me, nothing's canon until it's bulletproof, no-ambiguity canon. But it's also true that Tokyo Revengers, in general, is pretty queer.

For one, when it comes to Hakkai…

(Fun fact about the last img: many translations online are missing that dialogue, having it cleaned out and possibly forgotten to typeset it in later? Anyway, it translates to "[Mitsuya, about Mikey] Feels kinda lonely when he's up ahead by himself." / "[Hakkai] But you've got me, Taka-chan?")

This sure reads like a crush, anyways. It's mostly out there as comic relief, but the admiration this guy's constantly showing for Mitsuya's coolness and specifically his physical attractiveness and everything, welp, that just about places him in the LGBT somethingsomething bag to me. Maybe it won't get anywhere - it probably won't, cause again, comic relief element - but it's there, his silly little crush on Mitsuya or whatever we should call it.

I'm cool with that! I enjoy and appreciate that Wakui comfortably includes interactions like this in his work. Y'know, along with everything else. With Koko, with Inui, with everything.

Like Chifuyu's feelings for Baji. That's another instance where I'm like "HMM. WELL HOW ABOUT THIS." 'cause, on one hand, the shounen genre sure loves its trope of "my dude, our bond is so deep I will die for you and live for you and I'm not naming what this means except that I'll call you my most important person in this life forever", but on the other hand, their flashback chapter is titled 'man crush' and… 12 years, Chifuyu? The rest of your life, Chifuyu? For his memory alone? Okay okay okay.

Personally, I find other characters to be very much up in the air. Too up in the air to call them canonly queer or canon-adjacently queer, though I do support most of those interpretations.

Ran? I love love LOVE a tall, evil, strong and effeminate bastard. Maybe he just happens to be straight and metrosexual and limp-wristed (I say this lovingly, admiringly), but that sure would be less entertaining than what I've decided in my head. Hanma? Even if you asked me, I wouldn't be able to say what he is, exactly, but if "queer" isn't part of it I'd eat my entire fist. Draken? My bisexual icon and also my beautiful wife. Don't get me started on all the other dudes with crushes on Mikey, we'll be here all night.

But all that is just my view, lmao.

I will say, though, the interpretation of Hina being trans is one thing I respect - as always - but I don't partake in. I don't think an "if I were a boy, I'd do _" moment is anything but conversation, specially in the context of a culture where being a girl or a boy does condition and limit your experiences a fuckton. I'm not saying she can't be trans, of course. I'm saying that her talking about how she'd kick more butt than Michi if she were a boy (because she doesn't see herself doing that as a girl) doesn't necessarily mean that. Can be, everything is fair game in fandom, just not necessarily.

Anyway, really fun question to answer, thank you!!

And PS: don't worry about your english with me ever!! It's not my first language either, I speak spanish, we're all doing our best DHFDH.

#asks #thoughts and talk and so #shiba hakkai #matsuno chifuyu #hakkai #chifuyu #hanma #ran #draken #hinata #tachibana hinata #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers

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buckyownsmylife · 4 years

Text

off to the races - harry styles smut

the one where harry was your boss and now that he’s not...

Warnings: former work relationship, harry is known for sleeping around in this one, reader finds it hot and likes it rough, sir kink, smut in general

A/N: okay, so I ended up diverging from the original request because technically, she’s no longer his assistant... but the idea of hierachy is right there! Also, I ended up changing the requested daddy kink for a slight sir kink - not usually one I particularly enjoy, but for this one, it just seemed right 🤷‍♀️

Harry’s P.O.V.

Such a pretty little thing. Been trying to get her in my bed for months, ever since she joined the company, but she swears she could never “sleep her way to the top”. I promised I wouldn’t promote her, she still didn’t budge.

I wasn’t greedy enough to fire her just to have her.

That’s why when the holiday celebration rolled around, I made sure to take her as my plus one, introduce her to Henry, praise her and talk her up. I knew his competitive streak would make him offer her a job. I knew she’d take it.

Because as much as she tried to deny it, she felt it too. That undeniable pull. That attraction that ran deeper than the physical, but was definitely dominated by it. And God, what wouldn’t I give to dominate her.

“Mr. Styles?” The way she tilted her head as she found me on the other side of her front door was way too fucking endearing. I could just eat her up whole. She was wearing a robe, I noticed - I knew it was late, perhaps maybe too late for a social visit, definitely too late for a social visit to a former employee, but I had planned this carefully.

“Forgive me for the time, you know how difficult it is to pry me away from work… And with you no longer there, I think this is going to become more and more common for me.” She nodded, adjusting the light tissue to make sure that it wouldn’t show more than she wanted - more than what was proper, but she bit her lip at the same time, her eyes running me over until they found what I was holding.

“Ah, yes, this is why I came. I have something to give you in celebration for your first day in a new company. May I come in?”At my question, she startled, jumping away from the door and motioning me in despite playing with her fingers after I was already there. I raised an eyebrow as I patiently waited and that seemed to snap her out of her reverie.

“Would you like to sit? I-I’ll get us some glasses.” I looked at the sofa but turned my attention back to her, widening my stance as I stood blocking her from the rest of my apartment. I knew I stood towering over her, but that was precisely my intention. I wanted to make her feel small, at least in the physical sense. The difference in our heights had always been one of the things that attracted me to her.

“I’d rather have something else to quench my thirst.” She knew what I meant. It was obvious, but especially for someone who knew me as well as she did. But I could see that she still held some hesitation, some reminiscence of the time when she wouldn’t do this.

So I upped my game.

“I can smell you dripping all the way from here,” I noted, grasping her by the waist so I could have her body as close to mine as possible. “And you don’t work for me anymore. So can I please, *please taste your pussy?”

The question made her shiver, and although she couldn’t meet my eyes, there was a nod. That was more than enough for me. So I held her by the back of her neck and pulled her up to meet my lips, while I fumbled with the silk covering her body until I could press my hand on her navel, wiggle my way between her legs.

“Fuck, darlin,’” I whispered as she desperately tried to catch her breath. “Have I always made you this wet? Did you have to struggle with this all day during work? Answer me.” My grip on her jaw tightened as my voice lowered, and although she gasped, I knew she was pleased with my dominance.

“Y-Yes, you made me wet all the time.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“I fucking knew it,” he whispered just before he caught my lips with hers again, swallowing down my moans and whimpers with a far too talented tongue that so easily made my knees weak. “It’s only fair, sweetheart. I was always pretty fucking hard for you.”

It was that confession, paired with two fingers that parted my lower lips for a thumb to find, that had me finally breaking out of my control from the pure need to have the man that held me so easily in his arms.

“I know.” I watched his eyebrows shot up as he was faced with the realization that all of those times he thought he was being so inconspicuous, only to call one of the random girls in the department to help him sort his “problem”, I was fully aware of the entire situation.

“You do?” There was a smirk in his lips now, replacing the surprised expression. It was clear that he liked it, he liked knowing you were aware of everything, including how hard he fucked your coworkers, now conscious that he was thinking of you the entire time.

“Hmh.” He looked about ready to devour you now, but just before he could, something made the predatory expression in his face fall, replaced by something soft instead. It made my head tilt to the side in curiosity, but he didn’t leave me hanging for long.

“You have to tell me if something is too much, okay?” His tone was so soothing, it was the only thing that stopped me from laughing at the silly preoccupation that had clearly decided to burden him out of the blue.

“Mr. Styles…” I ran my fingers over the lapels of his suit, hoping to give him the best sultry gaze I could muster while I whispered the words I’d been waiting to say for so long. “Do it like you always do. I’ve heard the other women you’ve fucked around the building. I want you to treat me just the same.”

I could tell he had stopped breathing, and when my fingers slowly inched under his work shirt to find his abs tense to the touch, he actually shivered. “I may not work for you anymore…” I stood on my tiptoes to say the last part of the sentence, making sure he knew that I meant every part of what I said. “But you can boss me around as much as you like.”

Before I could even comprehend what had happened, Harry had taken off my robe, stripping me and revealing my naked body to his hungry gaze. Then, he had me on the sofa, surprisingly not securing a spot by my side, but instead opting to remain standing, still fully dressed, towering over me.

“Be a good girl and spread your legs.” Despite the overwhelming desire that I felt to be absolutely and completely *ruined by the man before me, I was still inexperienced enough to feel somewhat self-conscious about following his order without any sort of hesitation. Thankfully, he didn’t hurry or seemed impatient as I slowly opened my legs and jutted my hips up, offering my most private part to him.

But perhaps I’d been too quick to judge, because as soon as I’d obeyed him, he knelt before me and pulled me down towards himself with a particularly harsh grip on my hips, until they were completely out of the couch.

“Put your legs on my shoulders.” That was all the warning I got before he delved right in to lick me, warm tongue suddenly everywhere as I wiggled under his hold. Immediately, I understood why every single woman he ever slept with was desperate to have another chance with him.

Harry’s P.O.V.

She was delicious. Sweet and creamy and everything I’ve always imagined when I licked into all of those other employee’s peaches. And fuck, every single sound that fell from her lips was just music to my quickly hardening cock. I wanted to bury myself in her, but first I needed to have her cum dripping from my chin. I needed her to cum for me.

So I raised one of my hands that had been otherwise occupied with her fantastic ass and slowly dragged a finger through the same lips I was licking, making her gasp and whine, much to my delight. “Do you think I can fit two in here?” I asked, already forcing two of my digits in. The moan she let out was downright pornographic, better than anything I’d ever heard before, and I just had to tease her.

“What? Does that feel good?” Skipping slow and gentle altogether, I started forcefully plowing my fingers while curving them inside her tight channel, all the while still licking around them and sucking on her little clit. In seconds, I had her cumming already, and I hummed in delight at the wave of her sweetness that invaded my mouth. “Delicious,” I commented when she finally stopped squirming, letting me pull away to bite on the inside of her thigh. “Could eat you all day.”

A whine was my sign that she would oppose to that project, and I had to laugh when she begged, “Please, just fuck me, sir. I need your cock in me.” Hearing her address me the same was as she did during work fucking *wrecked me. Never before had anyone done something similar - always too eager to try to fabricate a connection that just wasn’t there. And while there definitely *was something between us, hearing her address me like this, especially now that she didn’t have to, only made me even harder.

“I need it too, kitten.” My hands roamed all over her body, stopping on her breasts for a while to pull on her nipples before I finally managed to force myself away to work on my pants. And then I was easing myself into her, mouth open to release out-of-breath pants as I struggled to keep some semblance of control.

Y/N had thrown her arms over her face, covering it from my eyes, and I knew it was because she was suffering as much as I was to keep still while we both adjusted. Smiling, I captured her wrists to pry them away so I could see her again, before mocking, “Don’t be shy. I know you can take it.”

She didn’t like that. She was determined to let me know just how eager she was to take every inch of me, and that much was obvious not only in the fire in the eyes, but also by the way she started to writhe underneath me.

Chuckling, I gave into what we both wanted, starting to fuck her roughly and curling my hand over her neck, cutting off the air just enough to get her complicit once more. “I know, I know, darlin’. I was only messing with ya.”

She clawed at my still clothed chest, holding onto my shirt as I filled her over and over again, paying attention to every little sound that escaped her beautiful lips. God, she was so fucking tight. And when I picked up the movements, fucking her rough and dirty, just like she told me she wanted, it didn’t take long at all to have her thrashing desperately, her orgasm reaching her like a freight train.

“You cummin’, sweetheart?” I asked, holding onto her neck a bit more tightly just to feel her pussy clench around me. At her answering groan, a stupidly satisfied smirk painted my lips, still incapable of believing this was actually happening. “Who’s fucking you this good? I’m gonna let you breathe, but only if you scream my name when I do. Do it. Fucking scream it.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I cried out his name as stars took over my sight. I had no doubt my neighbors heard it, but in that moment, it was impossible for me to care about anything other than the feeling of Harry’s cock as he brutally pounded me like he was trying to prove to himself that he hated me.

“Fuck, kitten. If you weren’t so adamant in keeping me away, I could have made you scream like that in the office, had everyone know you were milking my cock so good.” The thought of my coworkers hearing the sounds of our frantic fucking only served to leave me wetter, especially when his hand trailed down my body to find my clit engorged and throbbing for him.

“Just another one, darlin’,” he pleaded when I tried to wriggle away from him, too fucking overstimulated to take the added attention to my little bud. “Just wanna feel you cumming one last time, c’mon, milk my cum, cum with me.”

And so I did.

When his body fell down on the couch next to me, I looked down to see his cum dripping down my thighs, making me shiver as the realization of what we’d just done finally settled over me. I’d fucked my boss. I let Harry finally fuck me.

“Come here.” Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me on a warm lap before I could spiral even further down my madhouse of worries. “Just gimme a few minutes, huh?” My look of confusion must have been obvious, because upon looking at me he just chuckled, squeezing me tighter against his chest. “You didn’t seriously think I was done? I still want to fuck you, sweetheart. This hasn’t nearly helped fulfill my desire for you.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I resorted to remain cuddling my former boss, our legs entwined over my sofa as I listened to his heart beat right under my ear. I could get used to this.

#harry styles smut #smut #harry styles #my fics #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles insert #harry styles reader #harry styles oneshot #harry styles reader insert

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prettyboy-asmo · 4 years

Text

Spending time/showing affection to GN!MC (Brothers+Side)

I’ve had terrible writers block lately so I decided to just do some general HC about how the boys show affection/ spend time with MC to hopefully get back into the swing of things.

MC is gender neutral and most of the hcs are written with romance in mind.

pure fluff

Lucifer:

Lucifer is a busy Demon, so He’ll take any time with you he can get, Even if it’s just the both of you sitting in the same room, working on your own things.

He cherishes the moments when you can both do nothing together- a moment to relax with you. When you get that rare moment with him, he likes to be close to you, sitting close enough your shoulders are brushing or his head in your lap or you on his lap- it doesn’t matter

He also likes taking you out on occasion- a nice dinner, maybe some sort of show, symphony, theatre, if you like it he’ll go. Getting to see you dress up more than usual and knowing his brothers won’t be there to barge in.

He’s not overly touchy in public, but he’ll usually keep a hand resting on your back around others.

He’s not as verbal about his affection around others either, but when it’s just you two he tends to be far more open with it.

An absolute favorite of his, however, is when you get to fall asleep together. He’d never, never admit it to anyone else but getting to fall asleep cuddling you is the best thing for him. Especially when it’s you holding him, when he doesn’t have to worry about anything else besides feeling content in your arms.

That’s also when the verbal affection becomes more open as well, soft whispers as you drift off to sleep.

Mammon:

When Mammon wants to spend time with you, he usually invites himself into your room and just throws himself on the bed. It doesn’t even really matter if you say anything or not, he’ll scroll his D.D.D. until you finish whatever you were doing and pay attention to him.

If you take too long though he will start to complain.

If he wants your attention and he has something he needs to do like a modeling shoot, he’ll drag you along.

No matter what it is though, Mammon is always touchy (Despite how much he denies it) things like a hand lingering on your shoulder, fingers interlaced, leaning on each other's shoulders- he likes to be touching you in some form.

In public he’s just as clingy, his arm wrapped around your shoulders to hold you close to him, (you should want everyone to know you’re with the great Mammon, after all.)

Loves movie nights with just the two of you. It usually ends up with his head on your shoulder or lap, fingers running through his hair.

He won’t outright say he wants headpats or your fingers in his hair, but he’ll take your hand and place it on his head without a word (he also won’t make eye contact when he does, poor boy is blushing so hard)

He’s definitely not as verbal with affection. Though if he notices you’re stressed or having a bad day he doesn’t try as hard to deny his feelings and he’ll remind you how much he cares about you.

Levi:

Obviously, Levi loves being able to marathon Anime or spend hours playing video games with you.

At first, it’s you who has to initiate any sort of physical contact. It starts slow, sitting closer together, leaning against him, small things. The more you hangout and the closer you get however, the more used to the idea he gets.

Eventually, anime nights are spent cuddling while watching whatever show was chosen, and more often than not you find yourself in his lap when you guys play video games While he can still end up a blushing mess sometimes, he’s more comfortable asking for physical contact.

But it’s not just anime and video games. If you show any interest in cosplay he’ll jump at the chance to create costumes together. If you don’t know how to do something, he offers to teach you.

As you grow closer, he also grows more vocal with his affection, tells you how happy he is to spend time with you or how glad he is that you actually like him and indulge in his hobbies as well.

If for some reason, you both end up going out in public together, he seems far less hesitant to give physical contact. Usually it’s just him holding your hand (sometimes he’ll absentmindedly swing your hands back and forth)

He also enjoys when you simply sit with him while he plays video games- whether you’re cheering him on, watching him progress through plot, or even doing your own thing on your D.D.D. the fact that you choose to spend time with him is enough to make him feel fluttery in the best ways.

Satan:

Another one who enjoys the quiet moments with you. He likes to sit with you while reading, just sharing the same space as you is nice.

He also likes reading to you, and while he’s not very touchy in general he likes to have you close in those moments- especially when it’s you in his lap, leaning back against him and your head on his shoulder or you lounging with your head in his lap.

As cliche as it is- He’s a sucker for cafe and bookstore dates. He likes to see what kind of books you’ll take interest in, offer his own suggestions and ask you about your favorites, he gets to spend time with you and learn about you at the same time.

Will find a cat cafe to visit with you or an animal shelter. Lucifer won’t let him get a cat but he can at least enjoy them this way- and since it’s time he also gets to spend with you it’s even better.

He will absolutely tell you how much he cares for you. He ends up being far more verbal than physical when it comes to affection- he says his fair share of cheesy things (You gotta love it though.)

Like Lucifer, around others his hand is usually sitting light on your back.

He’d also love murder mystery dinner theaters and the like. That includes watching true crime documentaries/ unsolved mysteries with you.

Asmo:

He loves to pamper you. Spa days with just the two of you- offering you new products to try for hair/skin/etc.

If you let him do your nails he will be absolutely over the moon, even if it’s just a clear coat of polish.

Asmo is naturally a very touchy person- it’s one of the main ways he shows affection. When you’re spending time together, he’s almost always touching you in some form. Draping an arm over your shoulders, holding your hand, resting his hand on your arm- whatever you’re comfortable with.

It’s not just touch however. He has no issues telling you how much he loves spending time with you, he’s very vocal about everything he likes about you, how much he cares about you.

As much as he likes to stay in for spa days, he also enjoys going out with you.

Loves to drag you shopping. He loves picking out outfits for you, asking you what kind of style you want and going from there, it’s one of his favorite things to see your eyes light up when you try on his suggestions.

Will also take you out to the Fall and to some parties. It’s true he thrives off the attention of his fans, but when he takes you with him he’s far more focused on you than his followers.

He can get extra touchy in public. He wants everyone to know you’re with him. Even if he does interact with his fans, the conversation often swings back around to you and him- “Aren’t they just wonderful? I picked out their outfit myself, it really suits them, right? Don’t we look so cute together?”

Beel:

Beel cherishes any time he gets to spend with you. No matter what it is he’s excited to be able to share his time with you.

If you like to cook or bake though, he will absolutely be more than eager to offer his help or keep you company in the kitchen.

If you accept his invites to the gym, whether you do your own workout routine or film him so he can see his own form later, He’s glad to know you're willing to spend that time with him even though he can’t turn his full focus on you.

Also, while it’s not really spending time with him, if you come to his practices and games he will be so happy. He’s like an excited puppy and he’ll always thank you for supporting him after he’s done.

Will 100% give you piggy back rides whenever you want. Sometimes he will insist on it, especially if you seem tired or you're somewhere crowded enough that others keep bumping into you.

He does enjoy cuddling up with you, especially when you end up using him as a pillow or clinging to him- he got used to that stuff with Belphie and he’s glad that you feel comfortable enough to be that close to him.

A demon of few words, but he does have little actions that show how much he adores you. The most common one when you’re relaxing together is when he lifts your hand in his own, sometimes laying his palm against yours, sometimes playing with your fingers, sometimes simply interlacing your fingers and giving a soft squeeze.

Sometimes though, he’ll bust out an “I love you,”- usually the most random times, if you’re sitting with him while he raids the fridge, walking to classes, studying together, sometimes he just has to say it.

Belphie:

Napping together is his favorite, hands down. He’ll take any chance he can get to snuggle and nap with you.

He’s not one for high energy activities for obvious reasons, but he’ll never turn down a movie night or binge watching shows with you.

Love it if you read to him. He finds your voice soothing and relaxing, so being able to close his eyes just listen to you is nice.

Laying together in the planetarium is something he’d never even dream of turning down.

He’s naturally very touchy. Leaning against you, wrapping his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder, he just likes to be as close as possible to you.

When it comes to verbal affection, it tends to come in the form of teasing comments. Though, when he’s just waking up expect sleepy whispers of affection.

Around others he’s even more clingy than usual. Hanging around your shoulders, holding on to the fabric of your shirt, sometimes his tail will make an appearance and curl around your middle.

Similar to Beel, he has little unconscious actions of affection. Tracing patterns along your arm/leg when you’re cuddling, nuzzling his head into your hand if you run your fingers through his hair, most often though is when his tail curls around you or drapes over you.

Barbatos:

Another busy demon, but he always makes sure he has extra time to spend with you.

Outings to markets and joining him on shopping trips is pretty common, and it usually includes a meal at a cafe or nice restaurant.

He will gladly let you keep him company while he’s baking or cooking- he’ll even teach you some recipes if you show interest.

While not outwardly affectionate by nature, especially in public, he will keep a hand on your shoulder in crowded areas and he makes it clear that you’re with him.

If you want to cuddle, he’ll oblige, but he usually won’t initiate it- It’s not that he doesn’t want to or that he doesn’t like it, He just likes it better knowing that’s exactly what you want.

He does like to hold you when you lay together, both arms and tail around you- he will absolutely bury his face in your hair/ neck.

You can also expect plenty of gifts-sweets he’s made, little things he sees that he knows you’d like, flowers, etc.

Even though he’s pretty reserved, his gestures make sure you know he cares about you and is thinking about you.

Diavolo:

Busy, busy, busy. There’s always something going on that he’s supposed to be doing, but Diavolo always has time for you.

It doesn’t matter what it is- The fact that he gets time with you is enough for him.

He does like to treat you to fancy dinners and such, though, in fact, he just likes to treat you in general.

Diavolo also is very liberal with gifts, though it’s not just small things. Anything he sees that he thinks you’d like, things that remind him of you- anything is fair game. He doesn’t really have to worry about price, and honestly, he’d want to get you the best of what you enjoy anyways.

Very big on both physical and verbal affection.

He loves to be touching you in some way, holding hands, an arm around you, you leaning against him- he has absolutely no reservations or hesitations about pulling you into his lap or into his side at any time.

He will melt if you run your fingers through his hair or lay your head on his shoulder/chest while you’re relaxing.

He’s absolutely not shy about saying ‘I love you’ or any other sort of affectionate thing, public or otherwise. (He will blush though, especially if you return his words.)

He doesn’t need to, but in crowded areas he will keep your hand in his or an arm around you.

Solomon:

If you’re willing to sit with him while he does research, that’d be great- if you're willing to help that’s even better.

He also enjoys taking you to cafes or simply being able to talk a walk with you- the change of pace is nice and your presence is something he can bask in.

He’s also the teasing type. Snarky comments and bold flirting- He likes to see what it takes to make you blush. He’d also get a kick out of it if you tried to make him blush. It’s not as hard as he thinks, though, some genuine words of affection and he’s blushing like mad.

He will try to cook for you. Once.

In public, he’ll let his arm drape over your shoulders, making sure to keep you pretty close to him. He’s got a protective streak to rival the brothers- he’s got plenty of experience with Demons, after all.

If you show an interest in something, he will be willing to teach you about it.

Man is a sucker for massages. Will melt into a puddle if you rub his shoulder/back. He also won’t hesitate to return the favor. (He’s surprisingly good at it- Won’t admit it’s because Asmo taught him.)

Simeon:

His favorite is little tea dates or picnics with you. A nice calm atmosphere and pleasant conversation with you is just what he needs to relax.

He also likes to tease and flirt, but the second you retaliate he’s a blushing mess.

Will absolutely take you to plays/musicals/ performances. Being able to share his interests with you is wonderful.

He will for sure write love letters. It doesn’t even matter if you write any back, it’s easiest to show his affection and how truly deeply he cares for you in writing.

He’ll be overjoyed if you sit with him when he writes. Sometimes he’ll even bounce ideas off you or ask if something sounds okay. He values your input above all else.

He’s most shy about touch. He’s honestly not as used to it and it flusters him pretty easily. That’s not to say he doesn’t love it anyways.

In fact, having you simply tucked to his side leaves him smiling and feeling warm.

He also likes to be held, especially if you’re sharing a bed. Feeling absolutely loved and cared for in your arms is the best feeling he’s ever had, and he won’t hesitate to tell you that.

#obey me hc #obey me!#obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #self indulgent fluff lol #obey me fluff #affection

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dying-suffering-french-stalkers · 3 years

Note

For the ship game: prime numbers for Lupin x Jigen!

HERE YOU GO GHOST, THIS WAS FIVE PAGES IN A GOOGLE DOC AND TOOK ME SEVERAL HOURS

Under a cut, allegedly, though mobile has been known to just IGNORE THAT. Sorry in advance if this gets goofed for anyone.

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, in any place?

Lupin, obviously (and canonically). Just the horniest man you ever did see. Jigen knows what he wants and when he wants it, but he has difficulty keeping up with Don Juan Triumphant over there. Lupin is also far less picky about locations and times than Jigen is. Jigen still has a FEW standards, thank you, and also a stronger sense of self-preservation. Lupin sometimes tries to start shit in public or during a heist and Jigen is like “I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT BUT CAN WE NOT.” The closest to public anything Jigen will put up with is bar bathroom/back-alley hookups, and he doesn’t really tend to do that with Lupin or Goemon since they have secondary locations far more suited to such activity (or at least the damn Fiat, if nothing else). That said, Jigen is a spiteful bastard and gets a huge kick out of riling Lupin up over the walkie-talkie during jobs. He is more than happy to get jumped by his boss after they make it out and secure the loot.

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

Honestly, while I can totally see Lupin and Jigen doing this with their other partners, I have a harder time imagining the two of them doing this together and I’m not sure why. I feel like these two on their own both like the privacy bathing gives them, whether it’s to clean wounds or decompress from a job.

On the occasions when they do bathe together, I feel like it’s an unspoken kind of thing, where the other person quietly slips in the tub/shower with them and they just don’t bother protesting. I think Lupin is more likely to join Jigen in his bathing, but if Jigen is sleepy enough or lonely enough he might do the same. There is a lot of mutual appreciation of scars. They’ve definitely smoked in the tub before (Intricate Rituals™). Lupin is probably more likely to get handsy, because Lupin, but two can play that game if Jigen is feeling it, and also Jigen gives Lupin a run for his money in the staring department. No hat to hide behind now.

Lupin has also 100% done the whole “Hey Jigen, do you know if—stop screaming, it’s me—do you know if we have any more instant dashi? Goemon’s gonna slice up the sofa if I ruin soba night again.”

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

Jigen, but to be fair, he canonically sleeps on the couch most nights (possibly to keep an eye on the door, possibly because he knows that place, at least, is always “acceptable” for him to occupy). It’s an odd night if you don’t see Jigen out there with a glass and a bottle of scotch and an old movie on TV. The main difference is that if he and Lupin have been fighting, he won’t bother with the formality of a glass and the TV will be playing far louder or not at all.

7) [A] Who said “I love you” first? And [B] who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

I hate to take the coward’s way out here, but I think the answers are A) either one - depends on the headcanon/fic/version of the characters I’m feeling that day, and B) both.

For A, they’re both the sort of people to show their love—true love/affection, not just flirtation/infatuation, LUPIN—in action, not words. Lupin is a man of many words to a fault, generous with his verbal and physical affection, so Lupin has to find a way to make sure Jigen knows he means it and how he means it. He may rightly fear that Jigen won’t believe him (or else believe him but take it platonically) if he says “I love you” to his face, so first he’ll show him through every little action he can. Jigen is a man of few words to a fault, so saying personal stuff like that out loud is both a last resort and the point of no return. Getting him to say it at all, unambiguously, and while sober is like pulling teeth. Once one of them finally spits it out, though, I think the other is quick to reciprocate (again, if they manage to say it clearly and under good circumstances and not ambiguously/while drunk or wounded/etc. They’re both idiots and selective cowards so this is a big if). The mutual relief is palpable and immediately followed by sex, because they’re both (horny) idiots and selective cowards who do not want to talk about Emotions and Personal Things any more than strictly necessary.

For B, ohhhh man, if it isn’t that same emotional avoidance coming to bite them in the asses! Looks like talking about deep emotions is strictly necessary after all! You know it’s a Big Important Argument for them if this is what it comes to. This is going to tie in somewhat to the answers for 11, 17, and 23, so stay tuned. “Because I love you” coming from either of them should give the other pause, but if they are angry enough, they’re both quite likely to storm off after that declaration anyway. They’ll come back and have a real discussion later, but the shock or frustration of that arresting declaration dropped in the middle of an argument is something neither of them are great at dealing with. Hearing that from Jigen might be enough to stop Lupin in his tracks, but Lupin might also be so dead-set on something that he’ll steamroll right over it even if he knows he’ll regret it later. Hearing that from Lupin probably only makes Jigen angrier because of his awful self-esteem (see answers 11 and 23), and even if he’s been working on that, his instinct will be to snarl “Yeah, right” and storm out the door. I like to think that one day they are able to get to the heart of the argument sooner (because this is almost always it) and work on the behaviors that worry the other so much, but alas, they are a mess.

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

Once again, either of them depending on the day.

As you mentioned in your JiGoe post, Jigen says it partly because he thinks it’s funny (“You have a crush on me, Boss? Fuckin’ embarrassing”) but also because he’s fishing for validation. His self-esteem/confidence in anything outside his shooting skills is shit and he still can’t quite believe that Lupin isn’t lying/he hasn’t conned Lupin into something. This is rather overestimating his conning skills and underestimating his many good qualities, but, well, genuine, lasting affection is kinda new for him. Much to Jigen’s annoyance, Lupin figures out exactly what Jigen’s up to after the first few times and answers him seriously (and positively) instead of continuing the “joke”. Lupin loses patience for this particular tactic over time but I like to think that Jigen finally begins believing in the affection, too, so it comes up less and less and one day Jigen might actually play the quip straight without the self-deprecation. Ideally he would just take the damn compliment, but it’s LupJig and banter is one of their love languages.

When Lupin says it, he typically is playing the quip straight and fondly giving Jigen shit for showing an Emotion and motherFUCKER I just realized Jigen could probably be considered a tsundere. I hate this. ANYWAY. Jigen then immediately snarks back that yes, Lupin, considering we’ve been travelling the world together and actively fucking for X years, it’d be damn awkward if I didn’t by now.

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

Lupin absolutely initiates duets, or rather, he tries to; whether or not Jigen actually chimes in is another matter entirely. Lupin is also the better singer by far (when he’s sober). He loves singing along to pop and rock in the car (“This is the reason God invented America!”).

Much as it would please me personally to give Jigen a smooth operatic baritone, there’s no way in hell he sounds good after smoking a pack a day for twenty-something years. I think Jigen can carry a tune and he’s a decent hummer and whistler, but his singing voice isn’t spectacular.

Lupin occasionally succeeds in getting Jigen to join him in car karaoke, though as in all things, Lupin is much louder and more impassioned. Jigen frequently hums along under his breath, though, and Lupin loves hearing Jigen’s a cappella renditions of classical music (complete with hand motions).

When Queen starts becoming popular, car singalongs become much more involved because it’s MY silly headcanon and You Are Not Immune To Queen. Jigen cried the first time he heard “Bohemian Rhapsody” and he will kill Lupin if he ever tells Goemon or, God forbid, Fujiko. When the four of them are in the car it’s a full-on Wayne’s World headbanging party. (Pops is the drunk guy they pick up along the way. Also, seeing Payless Shoe Source in this clip dealt me psychic damage.)

Lupin and Jigen (and Goemon) are the living embodiment of the drunk friends singing “Sweet Caroline” post, and Jigen is specifically this version of “Sweet Caroline”.

17) Who is more protective?

THAT IS THE QUESTION, HUH, GHOST? Jigen’s job and, to a certain degree, raison d’être is protecting Lupin, but (to cheat slightly and quote your own DM to me), if you think Lupin won’t raze everything to the ground to keep Jigen (and the others) safe, you don’t know him at all. They are this meme to the deepest of faults. They are both so desperately afraid of losing what they have (and in Lupin’s case, this is tinged with a bonus, even more concerning “what is his”) that they will go full self-sacrificing, scorched-earth policy. This is, in fact, my favorite reason for Lupin to do the worst thing he does: fake his own death to protect his partners. Lupin never stops to think that maybe, JUST MAYBE, he should trust his partners to fake grief and keep the secret long enough for whoever’s on their tail to give up or let their guard slip. Lupin is willing to hurt them in an effort to protect them, so in that way, I suppose Lupin is the “most” “protective”. Jigen’s self-abasement to the point of unhesitating and perhaps even hasty sacrifice is painful, too, but Jigen would never dare go to the same level of deception (except in Goodbye, Partner, apparently? But 1) I haven’t watched it yet and 2) while awful, I still feel like fake betrayal pales in comparison to very convincingly (AND MAYBE REPEATEDLY) faked death).

19) Who drives and who has the window seat?

They split driving duties, but Lupin genuinely loves driving and Jigen is more than happy to prop his feet on the Fiat’s dashboard and smoke or sleep the hours away.

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the other’s love? and who’s more afraid of losing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! I think the answer to all of these is ultimately Jigen, but that’s not to say Lupin doesn’t share the exact same worries.

Jigen has a very difficult time believing that his partners’ love is genuine, and since Lupin is the one he knew first, that’s where it first manifests. Jigen has had very, very few good romantic connections in his life (if any). He doesn’t know what Lupin could possibly see in an older, prickly hired killer with a drinking problem and a head full of demons. He’s willing to believe that Lupin keeps him around for his skills, for protection, and for sex, sure, but anything past that? Doubtful. This ties into the other two parts of the question: Jigen is afraid that if he fails in his sharpshooting or his protection, he will be cut out of the gang, or worse, Lupin will end up dead because Jigen slipped up. As mentioned in question 17, Jigen cannot bear to lose Lupin and he would never forgive himself if he believed it was somehow his fault. Accordingly, Jigen takes “failure” that exceeds his usual margin of error very seriously in the early days. Later, he is better about this, but the worst-case scenario still stands.

Lupin, on the other hand, has had plenty of romantic connections, some good, some bad, though it is perhaps telling that Fujiko is his longest romantic relationship other than Jigen. He is afraid that if he doesn’t put on the world’s greatest show at all times, no one will give a rat’s ass about some scrawny grandson of an old French thief (or the perhaps unwanted/disliked son of a ruthless crime lord, because I love that fanon for Lupin the Second). He must live up to and indeed surpass the previous Lupins, he must shower his partners in money and adventure, he must always, always come out on top no matter how south the plan goes, or else what is the point of him? It takes time for him to turn his persona off for more than a few seconds, to let the quieter, sometimes contemplative side that slips through the cracks come to rest out in the open. Years down the road, Jigen finally gets up the courage and the words to tell Lupin that he would love him no matter what he did or where he went, even if that was nothing and nowhere. And again, see question 17 re: losing Jigen.

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

Lupin is by far the most guilty of this. He’s constantly pulling dumb shit, whether that be for World-Renowned Gentleman Thief reasons or just He May Be Stupid reasons. Case in point: the tunnel scene in The First, after which Jigen was duly impressed. Fortunately for Lupin, Lady Luck must be head over heels for him because the bastard keeps surviving, but sometimes even she can’t save him from medical consequences. Jigen bulk-ordered “Stupid Hurts” band-aids specifically for Lupin. Jigen’s bad choices are more likely to literally backfire on him, but Goemon more than makes up for Jigen’s slack in the Crazy Stunt department.

#I CARE THEY #hope this is comprehensible bc i honestly cannot tell #i have many thoughts on these two human disasters #lupin iii #jigen #asks #the-golden-ghost #long post #meta #I GUESS #can you believe i wrote five pages of meta about 1970s comedy anime characters? fucking hell. i love this fandom.#ship meme

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mybg3notebook · 3 years

Text

Astarion and Power - Part 2

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were made up to the game version v4.1.101.4425. As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information.

Additional disclaimers about meta-knowledge and interpretations in (post)

The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.

Astarion: abuser / victim

Disclaimer about interpretation victim/abuser: I’m not a fan of bringing the allegory to the plain explicit comparison with serious stuff from real life, but the fandom seems to focus a lot on this aspect and therefore I would like to share my opinion on it. This topic may be sensitive for some people. Be aware of it.

If we are going to engage into the comparison abuser/victim, from the section (Backstory: Mortal Astarion) we can assume that mortal Astarion was developed as an abuser so far the facts we got from the game/interviews. There is little doubt about it with the bits of information we have in EA. Maybe the full game or a retcon of his past may change this in the future.

As a vampire spawn, Astarion presents a duality abuser-victim that comes from the archetype of the “bad behaved victim”.

(Squeezing him in the shoulder. You try to connect, to let him know he's not alone- but he twists like a snake.) “No, I don't need your pity. I don't need anything from you. Go back to your wet dreams and leave me be.''

As a slave under Cazador’s power, humiliated and physically and psychologically tortured, he becomes a victim. He displays many of the most common behaviours of traumatised survivors: dismissal of the actions he suffered (humiliation and cruelty), sensitivity or violent rejection of gestures of pity, paranoia (for the abuser to appear at any moment), reiterative dreams focused on the abuser or their tortures, pride that may reach into arrogance of having survived tough situations. Considering that survival mode is his default, he can turn any of these aspects into tools to manipulate any potential benefactor (he may care little about). As long as he has a protector, he would do anything at his disposal to keep pleasant and agreeable to that benefactor (this characteristic is a permanent, constant, and obvious trait in his character).

But he is not a mere victim, he is also an abuser. And this aspect has been studied in psychology and sociology: it’s not a surprise that a good amount of abusers were victims before. There is a psychological process that can make victims prone to harness as much power as they can in order to avoid the abuse, and in doing so they become abusers. The fact that they can inflict similar or the same trauma on someone else, shifts the power imbalance they had always perceived in their life: the ex victim—now abuser—finds psychological relief. They find a way to perceive themselves as not powerless anymore, and this process can cross limits, making them enjoy when causing the same torture they suffered before. This is the (extremely brief and simplified) process known as the transformation of victim to victimiser (in a general violence-related way, not necessarily focused on sexual abuse), which tends to affect, so far the statistics show, a group of victims.

With this brief introduction of the topic from the real life (this is why I dislike so much these comparisons, serious stuff brought into a fantasy world always feels like dismissing the real life issue) we can understand that Astarion has acquired a twisted taste to enjoy the same torments he suffered on himself, but applied on creatures he considers lesser: animals and weak creatures [3,4,6,7,11]. There is pride in his survival [14]: he follows the philosophy: “if I could survive it, you could do it too, otherwise, you must perish”.

He enjoys humiliation [6,10], despite being one of the most sensitive aspects that could trigger a violent reaction in him when Tav tries to humiliate him (dialogue about the Bedchamber Master). He enjoys the power he can have over others, over their wills [11], and aspires to have the control of the tadpole, at first to be free of Cazador’s influence, but as long as the game progresses, his intentions become clearer: he wants to control the tadpole to become powerful: the most powerful vampire of Faerun and bend everyone’s will [12]. This aspect is also ironic and hypocritical since Astarion displays violent reactions against mind control or against any intervention of his mind, so it’s something that triggers him in particular (video here).

He also has a taste to enjoy cruelty on animals [4], maybe because of all the resentment he has against them for having been the only means to sustain himself (he is directing his cruelty and hatred to the wrong group of living creatures though). And he also finds entertainment in murder and bloodshed [2,3,13], just because of it, most probably because all these abuses are proofs that he is now “more powerful” than those suffering it. However, part of this could be explained due to the Dark Desires element of the vampirism, to be fair. But considering Astarion’s backstory, I would say that vampirism only deepens his already evil traits.

Also, as a comment aside, I like to highlight how all this characterisation defies the romantisation of the archetype of the “good victim”. A good victim is—explaining it briefly and oversimplified—the one who encourages to spread goodness, self-sacrifice; their pain is hidden and/or used to improve, tends to be a highly empathetic person in front of similar abuses they suffered. It’s the antipode of the “bad behaved victim.” Which is basically all what we see in Astarion: selfish, violent, whimsical, cruel, psychopath.

In conclusion, we can see Astarion as a vampire spawn who embodies the duality of Victim-Abuser.

However I would like to note that this is not a char where we can see how the victim becomes an abuser exclusively. In Astarion’s case, it is even more twisted because in his past he was a victimiser. His character lies on a Schrodinger duality: he was an abuser when he was mortal, he is an abuser and a victim at the same time as a vampire spawn (his torments can be understood as poetic justice since Astarion embodied the—corrupt—Justice himself), and he aspires to retake his abuser position in the future (so far EA allowed us to see it or the description of his characters in Larian’s web page), enjoying all the potential that the power of the tadpole can give him to “bend the will of others''.

Astarion’s story represents topics that should allow us to think about how abusers are created, how they could also be victims, and how victims are not always free of evilness. Astarion also embodies the concept of how far punishment makes sense, how you can punish the abuse if there is no justice, how to punish evilness when it’s placed to have control of the Justice itself. How could we understand the punishment of evil creatures when there is no repent but a deepening of their evil nature? And finally… Would any victim not desire for their abuser to have a punishment like Astarion’s?

I like to think that Cazador also represents the “modern prison system”, where criminals are gathered in panoptic structures (in this case, Astarion’s mind), tortured in many ways, while society expects them to recover. There is also the concept of how and when recovery is not possible anymore, because let’s be honest, saving people from dark paths is not always possible. Real life psychopath, serial rapists, and a broad amount of creatures who revel in torture and murder are beyond salvation. If we consider Cazador and Astarion as mirrored figures, it makes us think about how much of all of his story is about the eternal cycle of violence and about evilness without salvation. Also, this reflection of one on the other makes us believe that if there is no salvation for Cazador, there shouldn't be salvation for Astarion either; if Astarion can be saved… Cazador should too (after all, we don’t know anything about Cazador’s story). So many things to think about.

All these aspects and topics to think about are what make Cazador-Astarion dynamics worth understanding with a realistic and dark perspective of evilness, without woobifying Astarion as sadly a big part of his fandom does.

As a note of colour to finish this section, it’s interesting to re-read the paragraph I had written in the first part (Astarion and Power - Part 1) where I briefly described Cazador. If we replace Cazador by the word Astarion we will obtain a curious result:

>>>Astarion has a particular pleasure for control, especially the one related to people’s will (we can see this pleasure progresses over time, increasing it. His need for freedom turns slowly into wanting to have control on everyone, because with power he can do everything he wants to). He enjoys cruelty, humiliation, and torture (read the analysis post done (here), there are dozens of facts showing it). He enjoys playing psychologically with his victims. He also likes to give false hope, making his victims believe that there is hope, removing it right in front of them (the Arabella’s approvals about making her parents believe she is alive when she is not, Mayrina’s hope of reviving her husband).

There are so many questions left in the air: has Cazador imparted Justice? Is 200 years too long for a punishment? I don’t believe there is an easy answer here. First, because we are mixing serious real-life dynamics in a fantasy setup, with the twisted componen of vampirism (a fantasy element always considered an allegory of abuse, power, and rape) and second, despite the analogy is there, and the comparison can be done lightly, Astarion has a particular backstory, with a particular amount of meta-knowledge that makes those answers even more complicated.

Astarion’s Pain and Shallowness

Back scars scene (full Datamining info)

A pair of videos that pjenn has posted about Astarion’s scars on his back (1) (2) shows that he needs help to read it since he can’t see it in reflective surfaces due to his vampire nature. We get from the narrator:

* He might be sneering, but you can see pain in his eyes. He needs help, but doesn’t know how to ask. *

What we can infer from this is that Astarion, whether mortal or spawn, never asked for help, and if this is true, I’m confused. If he truly doesn’t know how to ask for help… what had been happening with all the previous interactions he had with Tav? Implicitly asking for help against Cazador? The only answer I have to explain why 25 hours of game with Astarion asking for help against Cazador are suddenly erased and now “he doesn’t know how to ask to”, is that all those 25 hrs are about manipulation. Not a true, honest, clean asking for help. There is not much to say about this scene since it’s entirely under work so far.

Mirror scene (full Datamining info)

This scene is mostly about vanity and, again, manipulation.

He doesn't remember the colour of his eyes, and he barely remembers his face. As a vampire, he can‘t see his projection nor cast shadows. He explicitly says that he misses vanity, and even though it may be an honest loss he feels, he doesn’t miss the opportunity to use this moment as another hook to throw at Tav to keep them under his control as well as testing how deep his charm has reached Tav (If Tav shows appreciation, Astarion knows he keeps them under his thumb).

This scene basically shows that, even though evil characters/abusers also suffer (maybe the game would make us reflect eventually about Cazador’s pain?), and Astarion is stating his pain for losing things he appreciated: petty vanity (he can’t see himself in a mirror) and his memories (he has no memory of the colour of his eyes and his face is vague), he is still using all these moments to keep on working on his survival manipulation:

“(Vanity) is an indulgence, I’ll grant you that, but a weakness? A well-presented face can open a lot of doors.”

He has a personal drama, as he stated it at first, and the focus of all his conversation is always about how what he lost was a means for an end too.

If Tav is the one engaging into being his Mirror, Astarion engages to appraise the reach of his presence in Tav. If Tav simply states it’s a decent face, Astarion will push the engagement for that appraisal. If you mock him about his age and skin, he won’t be offended (after all the moment is not meaningful for him, it’s shallow), and he would insist on a proper praise, because he is trying to taste the ground.

The moment was meant to be used, and Astarion did it. It was not special to him:

"Mirrors are not much use, but being reflected in someone's else's eyes? I could do much worse.

If we do not derail the conversation in the funny moments where you can mock his beauty, age and skin, we keep gathering more information about what Astarion values the most:

Tav: “Is it all what you want? shallow praise?” Astarion: "Hardly, there is also gold, sex, revenge, quite the list, really. But failing any of those, I will always settle for shallow praise."

There is another option in this scene where Tav says that vanity is a reasonable price for vampire powers, but for once, Astarion is not so eager about this power, because it comes with Cazador. He knows that the price is way much bigger.

Tav: “Vanity is a small price to pay to have vampire powers”. Astarion: "To you. To me it's just another thing that Cazador took from me".

The only moment when you can get a more emotional reaction is when you mock him about age/beauty/skin. That is how shallow this scene is. If you are a githyanki and your compliments are a list of raw facts about his persona, even if they are good or bad, Astarion can’t appraise Tav with that, and gets frustrated.

Personally I think this scene has little value per se beyond the comedy, and even less value in terms of lore when you have Disguise spell available for so many characters. Anyone can disguise themselves as Astarion and he would finally see what he looks like… so… more reasons to show how cheap and shallow this scene is. Maybe that was the intention. Maybe it needs more work since, after all, it’s datamining info. There is not much to say about this scene since it’s entirely under work so far.

The concept of Redemption/endings

Among the (Datamined information) we have a set of gems under the name of Drunk bear (1) (2) (3) scenes, which speak more about Astarion and his relationship with Cazador and Power.

Tav: “You can start over. You can be better than what he made you.”

Ast: “Exactly. I can be better than him. Stronger, more powerful, more- oh, you meant “be kinder”? Pet bunnies, that sort of thing? I’ve no objection to being nice, of course. Once I have the power to bend others to my will.

T: “You think power lets you do anything free from consequences?”

A: “Well… yes. You can’t look at the world and tell me I’m wrong.”

T: “The strong have a duty to protect the weak”

A: “They’re doing a piss poor job, then. The strong had two centuries to pluck me from torture, but no one came. No, it was the mind flayers that rescued me. They gave me a gift: the strength to take my own freedom. I’m embracing this power- you should too.”

T: “You are free now. That’s what matters.”

A: “Is it? What good is freedom if I'm always watching in the shadows? No. I will be safe when I'm powerful enough to grind cazador into the dust. Powerful enough to do whatever the hell I want.”

T: “Power corrupts. You’d do well to remember that.”

A: “Oh I hope so. A little corruption sounds fun. I spent centuries as the victim of a corrupt man. It was the mind flayers that plucked me away from that.”

So far we see in this scene, Astarion reinforces his evilness, his desire for power, not just enough to save himself from Cazador’s claws, but to control other people, even though mind control is a triggering effect when it affects his own will. I believe in this interaction we see the contrast of the story that Astarion narrates mainly: the abuser who found a more powerful abuser. We shouldn’t forget he comes from a past where he was a corrupt magistrate. These words have almost a hypocrite meaning here. Astarion was a magistrate, by definition, someone who held power and should have helped those in despair, but he was corrupt and did not care. When he became a spawn, he ended up on the other side of the imbalanced power. He was the one asking for a powerful entity to help him, and none came, suffering a similar fate of despair than those who sought in him the concept of Justice and Power Used For Fairness. Like Astarion’s victims found freedom when a twisted creature like Cazador was incorporated into this situation, Astarion was free when the Mind flayers saved him from Cazador.

I will not repeat this again: Astarion, so far in Early Access, looks like the story that could explain why Cazador is who he is. These scenes bring once more, another of the many proofs along the game where we see that Astarion has not learnt anything from his torment, he has not improved, he has turned into a more twisted and evil man than he was when he was a mortal magistrate, and there is no intentions to become a little more sympathetic.

This brings me to think that, at least in EA, glimpses of future paths for Astarion may all be related to different degrees of evilness.

First of all, we need to remember that Astarion is an evil character, and if we assume that what Sven said in several interviews doesn’t change, Larian is going to break the style this worked in bg1 and bg2, not making big shifting of the alignment in companions. For this reason I think these endings would entitle variations of evilness.

Astarion keeps repeating over and over his opinion about power as the only means to have access to his freedom. And as long the game evolves, he began to reinforce the importance of having power to “do whatever he wants”. Considering his tastes (how much he enjoys cruelty and bloodshed) we can agree that Astarion “doing whatever he wants” is not a good thing for Faerûn. He finds murdering a fine show, an entertainment. Certainly Astarion is a child of Bhaal in his fullest.

He even mocks Tav when they comment about looking for self-improvement. “I can be better than him. Stronger, more powerful, more- oh, you meant “be kinder”? (...) Once I have the power to bend others to my will.” This is Cazador speaking.

So, considering these details, I would suggest (predict is a too strong a word for this) that we have chances to three different kinds of endings and their variations:

The first one, screaming in all what Astarion does: Astarion becomes a full vampire and ends up as the next Cazador. If his approval is high (or some hidden requirement is met) he can turn his lover into another full vampire. If these requirements are not met, in a spawn, repeating the cycle that Astarion suffered but now, on Tav.

The second one could be with Astarion killing Cazador remaining as a spawn and an agent of chaos and bloodshed. Maybe his relationship with Tav may help to have certain control on him (since we had seen that Astarion so far has been asking permission to kill npcs when the situation arises, so the MC could be turning into a master of choice.)

The third one, finding the cure of Vampirism, and letting Astarion continue with his life of evil corrupted magister.

Some people ask about the possibility of a Redemption arc. I hardly see it (especially if I keep in mind how bg1 and bg2 worked, they never offered a “real” redemption arc, just small shifts here and there.)

Redemption could be acquired, according to these fans, using two mechanics.

Astarion feels compassion out of the blue. He starts to have guilt for his past sins and develops empathy, despising cruelty. How? Who knows, so far in EA it has not been seen even once a hint, a scene, a bit of meta-knowledge in that direction. Honestly, so far we’ve seen, this option seems impossible to me, because Astarion has tons of chances to use the meta-knowledge of his approvals and disapprovals to show regret and empathy, and never happened. His character was always focused on himself, his vanity, his pain, his entertainment (which implies constant approval of cruel actions and torments and humiliation to others, especially the weak ones), his survival. If there is a character more far away from empathy right now in EA, it is Astarion. How do you start a redemption arc without the character showing compassion? No way.

Cure Vampirism. Vampirism is a curse, and therefore in the Forgotten Realm can be cured. But this, under no circumstances, can be considered a redemption arc. There is no redemption at all. The curse is lifted, and Astarion can return to be the same cruel magister he was before. No arc about remorse and empathy.

His character is the story of an abuser who found a greater abuser and became a victim of the latter, seeking to return to his previous power position but stronger. Despite suffering this abuse, that could be understood as poetic justice (more like accidental justice) at certain point, he never developed empathy for those sharing his conditions. In fact, he cares little to inflict on others what he has exactly suffered. I hardly believe there is something else going on “in layers” in him at the moment, since the meta-knowledge provided by the approval/disapproval shows otherwise. My point is, I see little material here showing change. But again, this is EA.

We can see how this exact detail is managed with Shadowheart, from her we know even less than with Astarion because her memory was erased, but so far, we know she has some soft spots that were never shown explicitly, so Tav is oblivious to this information while the player knows it.

This post was written on April 2021. → For more Astarion: Analysis Series Index

#astarion #bg3 early access #bg3 meta

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calitraditionalism · 3 years

Text

Arc Three: Chapter Thirteen

(AO3 counterpart here.)

The five witnesses glanced at each other, unsure. Darkpelt, Redheart and Mistface stood together, with Darkpelt taking the lead. Her tail danced about merrily and her ears were perked. It looked a little like she had spotted particularly fat prey and was preparing to catch it.

“So,” she said, “this whole StarClan thing, right? Real puzzle, isn’t it?”

Mistface gave her a very dry look (though he wasn’t bothering to hide his smile). Redheart’s eyes rolled skyward for just a heartbeat.

“Seems a difficult thing,” Darkpelt went on. “We’ll have to consider our options carefully when we approach this topic.”

“What options?” Beetlefoot said. “All we can do is run.”

“Incorrect!” Darkpelt’s grin broadened. “As you all may have guessed, I’ve been doing some real hard thinking on this particular topic, and just now broached my newest theory to our deputy and…” She turned towards Mistface. “I’m trying to find a nice way to call you ‘smarter than your assumed looks would imply’.”

“Get to the point, Darkpelt,” Mistface said. “Now ain’t the time for jokes.”

“That is true, at least.” Darkpelt shook her head in self-admonishment and returned her attention to her audience. “Anyway, my theory posits as such: the false StarClan eats souls, as we all know. This would imply it needs a way to sustain itself. Which-“ She leaned a little forward. “-implies further that it is, in some form, alive. And if it’s alive, it can be killed.”

Greyleaf stared at her. For perhaps the first time since meeting Redheart in the waking world, his heart leapt with a sudden excitement. His mind immediately was working furiously away at this idea, many thoughts shouting over each other with plans and what information he’d collected over the years.

"You think that's possible?" Flyfang's eyes were wide.

"I'm quite certain it is," Darkpelt said. "Anything can die. What makes this so different?"

“I-“ Laurelclaw shuffled his feet, halfway between nervous and eager. “Well, I would like to think so, but how does something like that die?"

“That’s the puzzle part,” Darkpelt said. “It’s not going to die like a cat. It’s not built like us. It relies on souls and belief to get anything done.”

Littlepaw’s ears perked. “Belief?”

“Belief,” Darkpelt repeated. “That’s the key. It’s a mental game. This thing’s power is all in the mind.”

A realization hit Greyleaf in a full-force tackle. He stood up, tail straight out and bushy. “It’s a psychic monster. It relies on your thoughts and beliefs to be effective.”

“Therefore-“ Darkpelt almost wiggled in excitement. “Therefore, if there’s a way to take it on, it’ll be all in our heads.”

“Take it on?” Beetlefoot repeated, looking bewildered.

“We don’t need to flee from it.” Darkpelt’s paws kneaded at the ground. “We need to figure out how to attack it within itself – within our minds, in our sleep, perhaps.”

Greyleaf couldn’t help a rush of adrenaline in his blood himself that made him want to jump up and down. “It can take a dead soul and it can lie to us, but that’s all it can do. There’s a weakness somewhere that we can find just in a dream.”

“Yes!” Darkpelt nodded fervently at him. “Precisely!”

Mistface spoke now. “Thing is that we ain’t seers, and even seers don’t got the power to force StarClan to meet them wherever or whenever they like. So we gotta march up to its den and make it acknowledge us.” He looked at Redheart. “Which is how we’ve made a new plan.”

“The plan so far – young as it is – is this.” Redheart’s voice was level, but there was an intensity behind it that belied her excitement. “We want to head north and get to the Lighthouse. That place is the most direct link to StarClan – it will have to respond to us there. Once there, if everyone who comes with us dreams at once, we stand much more of a chance of defeating it through what means are possible.”

Darkpelt flicked a paw in Mistface’s general direction. “Your theory so far, my lad?”

Mistface, of the three, was the only one talking like he was conversing the weather. He tilted his head, eyes contemplative. “Just a theory, mind, but Redheart explained to me a little of what this thing is like. Nightmarish.” He looked almost sadly at Greyleaf. “Can’t even imagine it in my head without a little panic.”

Greyleaf offered a weak smile in return.

Mistface breathed in slowly and continued. “But what I gathered is that this thing’s just as much land as it is a monster. It shows seers landscapes same as it does ghosts. That can’t all be simple illusions – it ain’t that original. My guess is that, if we are to destroy it, we gotta approach it like we’re destroying a forest or a field.”

“How do we do that?” Flyfang asked. She was halfway to eagerness, but she still sounded hesitant. “We can’t just claw it to death.”

Mistface smiled lazily at her. “We’ll just have to get creative, won’t we?”

“That ‘we’, by the way,” Darkpelt added, “refers to whoever wants to come with us. I’m putting my paw in on this plan, and so are Redheart and Mistface. You all are free to leave, and maybe you should. I won’t lie and say we’re guaranteed to stay sane and in good health on this quest, but-“

“I’m in,” Greyleaf said.

Mistface beamed.

“Don’t know why I even pretended to ask you.” Darkpelt’s laugh was like her elation had filled her and had nowhere to go but forcibly out. “That’s four. Warriors, your thoughts?”

“Think carefully,” Redheart said. “You’ll be traveling with me and Greyleaf, and we’re both wanted. Even besides StarClan and whatever risks we face with it, you could be arrested for assisting us and trying to escape the Territory.”

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Flyfang said. “I’m coming with. As if there’s another option.”

Laurelclaw nodded at Flyfang. “Same for me. You- you might need a little muscle anyway, if someone tries to stop us.”

“Look at you actually offering to fight,” Beetlefoot said wryly. “We’ll probably need it.”

“Then you’re with us?” Mistface asked him.

Beetlefoot nodded as well - curtly, but with a spark in his eyes. “Any way I can help, I will. This is too important to decline.”

Littlepaw jumped to her feet. “I’m coming too!”

Every adult looked her way. Greyleaf could see on their faces that they’d all completely forgotten the apprentice. He had too, to be fair, but it was still a little funny.

Redheart frowned a little, tone careful. “Littlepaw, I can honor your enthusiasm, but I don’t think we can keep you with us from this point on. It’s been dangerous enough for you just in these past couple of days. The leaders will be looking for us-“

Littlepaw shook her head violently. “Let them. I’m not quitting here.”

“Littlepaw-“ started Flyfang.

“You’re going!” Littlepaw looked at her, outraged. “And the only reason you’re not my mentor is because we didn’t do the ceremony! You can’t just leave me behind!”

Laurelclaw tried next. “It’s dangerous for all of us, nevermind you, you know? We don’t know what StarClan can do to us. I mean, I’m sure it’ll tell everyone to chase us down if it catches wind of what we’re doing. We just don’t want you to get in trouble with us.” He cowed a little when Littlepaw glared at him. “Legal or physical, I mean.”

“He’s not wrong,” Darkpelt said. “Heading straight into the wasp’s nest may have some dire consequences for us, if we get there before the Clan gets us. We have absolutely no idea of how much it can hurt us until and when we get to the Lighthouse.”

Littlepaw stood as tall as her tiny stature would allow, tail lashing and eyes fiery and determined. “You don’t get it. I have just as much stake in this as you do. Not because of my family and my own life.” She paused, swallowed, and continued, a little shakier and angrier at the same time. “I helped propagate the lie of StarClan. I helped this thing deceive everyone. It deceived me! I bought into its crap and I told everyone what it told me, and they bought into its crap too. You can’t just send me home and expect me to forget everything I’ve learned, and everything I’ve helped it do.”

“No one blames you for being fooled,” Redheart said soothingly. “That isn’t your fault.”

“But it’s going to be my fault if I don’t do something about it,” Littlepaw countered. She gave everyone a defiant, fiery stare that was so uncharacteristic on her pretty face that Greyleaf almost wanted to draw back a little in alarm. “So you can take me with you or I can follow you the whole way to the Lighthouse, no matter how hard you try to drive me off. Either way, I’m part of this, and I don’t care what I need to do to help stop StarClan, with or without your approval.”

There was a silence. The adults now looked at each other, silently debating back and forth. Greyleaf regarded Littlepaw with sympathy. He understood her fear of that helpless frustration at being put aside and forced to do nothing with this horrible knowledge in her head.

“Let her come with us,” he said. “It’s only fair.”

“Getting an apprentice in trouble with the leaders, though…” Laurelclaw said anxiously.

“It’s her choice.” Greyleaf nodded to Littlepaw. “And I can’t make her live with what she knows and be unable to do anything about it.”

Mistface hummed. “She is right. We ain’t her mentor. Or her mother, for that matter. Let her do what she wants.”

Redheart had her head down, eyes narrowed in thought. She looked up again after a moment and said to Littlepaw, “My caveat is this: we can make Flyfang your mentor right now, and she will have the final say in what you do. If she says no, then you go home.”

Flyfang and Littlepaw blinked in surprise, looked at each other, and then smiled at the same time.

“Sounds fair to me,” Flyfang said. “Littlepaw?”

“Let’s do it,” Littlepaw said. “And don’t disappoint me.”

Flyfang poorly restrained a chuckle and looked at everyone else for confirmation. Without a word, the rest of the cats stood and moved to allow Flyfang, Littlepaw and Redheart some space. Greyleaf was grateful for how oddly light-feeling the moment was.

Redheart took a step forward, completely clear of Mistface and Darkpelt, and raised her voice a little, enough for it to be heard clearly in the thick woods.

“The apprentice before us has reached a turning point in her life,” she began. “She has chosen to leave behind the path of seerhood and turn to warriorhood. We honor her decision with this ceremony. Littlepaw, as an approved deputy of the Clan, I thank you for your service as a seer-in-training and change your status to warrior-in-training.” She looked warmly at Flyfang. “Flyfang, you have already taken charge of Littlepaw’s education and protection these past months. You will be her official mentor from here to her graduation and naming ceremony. I ask you to pass on your skills as a fighter and hunter to her.”

Flyfang and Littlepaw faced each other and touched noses. Greyleaf could see excitement and nervousness fluffing Littlepaw’s fur. He waited, not sure whether to hope for Flyfang’s approval or Littlepaw’s dismissal. From the tension in the air, everyone else was thinking the same thing.

“And with that…” Redheart’s eyes turned serious again. “Flyfang, it’s your call. Will she come with us?”

Flyfang looked down at Littlepaw, a flurry of emotions passing through her face. Littlepaw’s tail trembled a little.

After what felt like an eternity, Flyfang said to Redheart, “She will.”

Littlepaw bounced twice before catching herself and standing stiff and serious. Greyleaf couldn’t help a sigh of relief, odd thing though it was to be relieved about. The other adults relaxed and exchanged looks again, some worried, some optimistic.

“Then that’s that.” Redheart smiled at Littlepaw. “Your mentor has the final word.”

“Not that it would have made a difference,” Beetlefoot muttered. “She was going to follow us.”

“But now I don’t have to,” Littlepaw said, grinning. “So when do we head north?”

“Preferably as soon as possible,” Darkpelt said. “We’re losing cats daily. We ought to put a stop to this swiftly as we can.”

“We leave as soon as we’ve eaten,” Redheart said.

Everyone brightened at this. Greyleaf could feel the same thrill he had in his heart from the others. Having this plan – even the slimmest spider-silk of hope – it felt like having a reason to live. As the group of renegades started chatting to each other about possible trails and ideas, Greyleaf and Mistface simultaneously got up and met each other halfway.

“We’re savin’ Mama,” Mistface said, quiet enough for only Greyleaf to hear him. “She ain’t goin’ to that thing.”

Greyleaf nodded firmly. “It’ll have to get us first.”

Mistface’s features were calm, but Greyleaf could see, deep in his green eyes, a steadily burning determination. Greyleaf smiled grimly, feeling that determination roaring away in his own heart.

Hang on a little longer, Mama, he thought, hoping it could reach her somehow.

Just a little bit longer.

We’re coming for it.

You’ll be safe soon.

#warrior cats #steorra #arc three #chapter #chapter thirteen #darkpelt #greyleaf #mistface #redheart #littlepaw #laurelclaw #beetlefoot #flyfang

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trashcatsnark · 3 years

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You said in a previous ask that at the end, when everyone is safe, etc. you envisioned your V expecting Johnny to pursue Rogue, for them to swallow their own feeling, trying to be a supporting friend, encourage Johnny and push him to do it. Can you expand on your thoughts on the matter? Can’t help but think it is an awesome scenario

*Screams in someone asked me about my v’s canon* Thank youuuu

SPOILERS WITHIN THISS

My V even actually does this a bit prior to the aftermath of Mikoshi, because in her canon Alt tells her about the six months thing during the first meeting (because other than dramatic tension or Alt not taking the time to check, I can’t think logically why she couldn’t have told V from the start) so my V has managed to mentally hide from the Johnny the fact that due to this, she pretty resolves herself to letting Johnny have her body after the oil fields. So, she wants to make sure his relationships with Kerry and Rogue are cleared up, so they can be there for him when she’s gone. She actually goes as far to invite Rogue to the Samurai Reunion gig in hopes that her and Johnny will be able to clear the air after whatever happened on the date.

And yes absolutely once everything has sorta cleared up a bit. My V is still encouraging Johnny to pursue Rogue. Because I have a habit with my oc’s universe for it to be like okay, once all the actiony stuff has settled we’re doing a complete tonal shift and this is now a romantic comedy. But, my V also ontop of all we see in game, she goes through Temperance endings and is fucking around in cyberspace for a while. And when Johnny becomes determined to save her, one of the first things he does once they find a way to save her life/body is go see her in cyberspace through the net and of course, who did he go to first, who did he bring for safety. Rogue. So, my V has that as well as part of the evidence Johnny really loves Rogue and has no feelings for my dumbass. Mixed, with my V’s generally low self esteem and belief that anyone who really knows her can’t possibly want her.

Of course one they’re back, post her recovery, Johnny and her are full clingy and even fall back into some old habits (ie casual sex), are living together. Are essentially living as if they’re a couple, but without technically being a couple. Like, to anyone with a single functioning braincell, its clear that they have some feelings between them. But, my V also knows how powerful the relic bond was and that a decent amount of this is probably because of that. She doesn’t believe that Johnny could have romantic feelings for her and all of this intimacy is due to left over effects of the relic. And she begins to worry that this is going to negatively impact Johnny moving on from all of this. Because she wants him to have his life back and take this new chance to do what makes him happy; rekindle his thing with Rogue, start playing with Kerry again, have some independence. Because Rogue’s not gonna want to be with him if he’s still playing house with V, fucking them, and they’re clinging to him like a leech. So, she doesn’t want to continue going along with enabling these side effects because as much as she adores having Johnny completely wrapped up in her; she thinks its just the relic and it’ll get in the way of him getting what he really wants. It feels good in the moment but won’t be sustainable long term, because who Johnny really wants is Rogue. So, she’s convinced she has to just swallow her own feelings and do this to really help Johnny and be a good friend.

And a big part of everything is the fact these two dumbasses have to use their big boy and girl words to talk, yet vehemently refuse to for a significant amount of time.

So, she starts like sewing those seeds of, “well you know we’ll have to eventually stop screwing around, after all can’t have a serious relationship if you still have a fuckbuddy” which Johnny takes as V wants a serious relationship with someone other than him.

“Hey, when you think you’re up for it, we’ll start looking at apartments, I know you don’t wanna share a bed with me for the rest of your life.” which Johnny takes as, she doesn’t want to live with him for much longer.

“Hey have you talked to Rogue lately, you two should have a chat, see where things stand now that you got your body back.” Which Johnny takes as, she’s trying to push me off on someone else.

“Oh hey, that looks cool….you should take Rogue there, she’d probably enjoy another date without my face ruining everything.” Which again Johnny just sees as she’s pushing him off on Rogue, because she doesn’t want him.

She’ll even do thing like take Johnny to the Afterlife with her to get a gig from Rogue and oh cool, this is a one man job though, so you stay and have some drinks with Rogue; okay byeeeee~ And him and Rogue have a chat, because he’s so fucking down about this, because this is like his worst fear realized to him. Now, that V doesn’t have to deal with him, doesn’t have to be with him, she doesn’t want to. That she’s trying to get rid of him, because why would she want him. And Rogue, having ya know functioning braincells sees through all this shit.

And Rogue asks what the fuck is going on because she wants to hear Johnny’s bullshit idea and he’s like “yeah, pretty sure V is sick of me, keeps trying to push me off on you.”

“She thinks she’s helping.”

“What do you mean?”

“She thinks you still have feelings for me and that what we had can be salvaged.”

“Why the hell would she think that?”

“You used her body to take me on a date.”

“….okay, fair point…”

And I’m still not totally sure how everything like resolves; I haven’t even written the third chapter of her fic yet, so this is way off in the distance as is. But, my V does eventually have to leave for a decent chunk of time to take care of personal shit, and doesn’t take Johnny with her because she feels she has to take care of it without him and honestly thinks its best to break some of the dependence as much as it physically fucking hurts. And when she comes back she learns that Johnny basically spent the whole time sitting by his phone and watching the door, waiting for her to come back or call. They end up finally talking it out because Johnny says like, “you must think I’m pretty pathetic clinging to you when you don’t even fuckin’ want me” and shes like “woah what the hell do you mean I don’t want you???” And actually talk it out and she realizes her actions made him feel unwanted and like he was the only one feeling this pull, like he needed her and she could leave him in the dust and not think twice. And fuck that was not her intention and just admitting, that she does need and want him as much as he needs and wants her, she just didn’t think he wanted her and thought she was helping him get what he really wanted. Just them finally talking like grown adults and maybe someone will fucking confess or I’ll scream.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #cyberpunk 2077 spoilers #johnny silverhand #silverv #fem v #aidan becker #aidan v becker #Anonymous

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thewebcomicsreview · 4 years

Photo

Seeing as I don’t have a job right now (one week furlough), I managed to get a lot of writing for Saffron and Sage done today. Now I feel good! Time to ruin that with a Homestuck 2 Liveblog! Last time: Jade kidnapped “Yiffy”, much to Jane’s distress! No time for that, though, as we’re back with the Candyland Kids.

HARRY: vrissy, i know this is a stressful predicament but i think that's going too far. HARRY: my dad believes in us. HARRY: and if he thinks there's something we can do, then there has to be a way!

Kind of interesting that Harry holds his dad’s opinion in such high esteem, considering that his dad has been AWOL pretty much his whole life.

TAVROS: Uncle john isn't to blame for this,,, HARRY: yeah, no shit tav. HARRY: this whole situation is because of YOUR insane hitlermom.

How the hell does Harry Anderson know who Hitler is? When did that conversation come up? This is a completely different universe!

TAVROS: Is less sincere,,, than it is,,, an attempt to weaponize something difficult for me, TAVROS: In order that you can win an argument,,, with harry anderson,,,,, VRISKA: GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! VRISKA: WILL YOU ALL JUST VRISKA: SHUT!!!!!!!! VRISKA: UP!!!!!!!!

A good example of why characters like John, Jade, Vriska, and sometimes Karkat are important in Homestuck or in stories generally. They actually do shit.

VRISKA: Neither you nor your friends have anything really important going on. VRISKA: Your lives and your planet are a total 8ore! VRISKA: 8ut somehow John loves you anyway. VRISKA: Try and be fucking gr8ful for that every once in a while. VRISKA: Not everyone is so lucky.

Vriska please do not be pining for middle-aged John Egbert. You have literally half a dozen semi-official love interests (John, Terezi, Eridan, Tavros, Meenah and Kanaya), please don’t pick the one old enough to be your dad. It was already weird enough when Adult John got hot and bothered by teen Roxy in the epilogues, to say nothing of you fucking a middle-aged homeless clown in a bush.

thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG]

Oh, fuck you, Homestuck. It’s bad enough that Harry and Dave are both going to be referred to as “TG” in chatlogs, but now Vrissy and Vriska are both AG and have the same font color!

TG: i've allocated the strife specibus with the scissorkind abstratus? TG: hm. TG: using this weird vocab and stuff feels... well, weird. TG: i'm not sure why, but it seems as though everything that's about to happen is that much more important now. TG: or maybe it already was, but i just didn't understand just how important until this moment.

One issue with wearing your metaphor on your sleeve as much as Homestuck 2 does is that thematically important lines become really obvious.

I like how the triangle-shaped panel around Vriska escaping the crowd by simply walking into it is reminiscent of a magic 8-ball. That’s clever!

VRISKA: Your society... no, your whole planet... it deserves to 8urn str8 to MEGAhell, and I'm gonna 8e the one to fly it there! VRISKA: I'm gonna shatter your paradise into pieces with my 8are hands and SHIT IN ITS GRAVE!!!!!!!! VRISKA: HOW'S THAT FOR A FUCKING ST8MENT! VRISKA: YOU GOT ALL THAT, JANE CROCKER? VRISKA: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S COMING FOR YOU???????? VRISKA: YOU'VE MESSED WITH VRISKA: ********VRISKA******** VRISKA: ****FUUUUUUUUCKING**** VRISKA: ********SERK8T********

There’s some extreme Dungeons and Dragons energy here, where Vriska’s plan to escape a mob of reporters working for a totalitarian dictatorship run by literal gods is to simply walk outside and publicly declare her intent to destroy the world as punishment for its sins.

And yeah, this is how that plan usually works in DnD, too.

Man, the next page is a wall of text, whereas in old Homestuck this’d be an animation. I get “fair wages” and “small budget”, but is still feels weird to see a big Strife scene merely get described with boring-ass words.

Fearing gunfire, the few paparazzi who aren't currently getting their asses handed to them by the world's angriest traffic cone start to trip over each other, diving for cover.

The world’s angriest traffic cone.

Far away, in her lair, Jane Crocker grabs the two sides of her computer monitor with enough strength to snap it in two. She can't believe what she's watching. Behind her, from a shadowy corner of the room, there is an agitated growling noise and the rattle of chains.

Is that Yiffy? Is Yiffy an animal? Please tell me Yiffy is not a person that Jade named Yiffy.

....Actually, please tell me that Yiffy isn’t an animal Jade named Yiffy that is Jade’s child via sex with another animal that might be my breaking point.

Vriska alights on the ground, rakes her throat, quietly spits out a little wad of blue, and wipes her mouth unceremoniously. Tavros pats Harry Anderson tentatively on the arm. Vrissy tries to be badass and cough up something too but she doesn't really make it work.

Vrissy::Vriska Vriska::Mindfang

It’s weird that John’s sprite is the same even though he’s middle aged now, but I like that his God Tier outfit doesn’t fit any more. Isn’t it magical? Ahh, who cares.

JOHN: this old thing is pretty uncomfortable in a lot of ways. JOHN: hm... JOHN: when we get a moment, maybe the two of us could brainstorm a redesign? JOHN: no pressure though. HARRY: !!!

Oh, that’s why! That’s cute.

JADE: theres something i need to tell you

don’thavefuckedadogdon’thavefuckedadogdon’thavefuckedadog

JADE: john... i have a daughter JADE: shes almost harry andersons age JOHN: ... JOHN: ... JOHN: you have a daughter.

Named Yiffy?

ROSE: It was at this point that Jade came to me. ROSE: I could understand her pain quite acutely, and so... ROSE: I agreed to carry a child on her behalf. KANAYA: . ROSE: ... Without telling Kanaya.

Without-

Kanaya is your WIFE. You LIVE WITH HER. Even ignoring the question of why you’d keep 9 months of pregnancy from your wife, how? Kanaya would have been living with humans for years at that point and she’s literally in charge of reproduction don’t tell me she thought Rose just got fat for a while and then lost the weight really fast.

ROSE: I'm... not sure why I made that decision. ROSE: I regret not telling Kanaya, of course. ROSE: But I can't say that I regret going through with it. ROSE: At the time, it didn't feel as though the deception was even all that prolonged. The whole affair was... short. ROSE: Purely physical, and nothing more.

ROSE: John, there isn't a father. ROSE: Jade and I are the sole parents of this child. JOHN: oh. JOHN: ... JOHN: OH. JOHN: oh i'm so sorry, i didn't th- ROSE: That's quite alright John, although you might like to direct that apology more towards your sister. ROSE: All I will say is that if you would like to take up the particulars with us, ROSE: Some *other* time,

Actually, if John doesn’t know that Jade has a male dog’s genitals due to a fusion accident, I’d love to know what that all-caps OH means. What does he think happened, that Jade and Rose managed to have a baby?

JOHN: so... how did you hide the pregnancy? ROSE: Oh, that was simple. ROSE: Jade's genes being, as they are, part canine, the gestation period was substantially reduced.

OH NO

Yiffy is literally a furry, isn’t she? Moreso that Jade, she’s a full-on “Can be naked onscreen and it’s okay because she’s covered in fur” dog girl.

JOHN: i think i understand everything so f VRISSY: WAIT!!!!!!!! VRISSY: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME VRISSY: NOT ONLY DO I H8VE A SISTER VRISSY: 8UT YOU NAMED VRISSY: YOUR ****SECRET CHILD**** VRISSY: ********YIFFY********????????

Vrissy makes an excellent point.

ROSE: We didn't call her Yiffy. ROSE: That would be a quite ridiculous thing with which to burden a child. ROSE: Her full name is Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley.

Vrissy looks as though she is about to shit the belltower they are standing in, brick by brick.

ROSE: It was, in hindsight, a monumentally terrible decision acting as the final chapter in a long series of novels, each one full of progressively more terrible decisions than the last. ROSE: But that is the name that we decided upon.

Oh, wait a second. Vriska changed Vriska Maryam-Lalonde to Vrissy, and changed Harry Anderson to just Harry. So obviously she’s going to rename Yiffy to literally anything else, then rename Tavros, and then we’ve got a new set of four kids as Vriska leaves to do something else. That’s what going to happen, right? Right? Please?

ROSE: You have to understand... this whole situation ended up playing out a bit like an ironic game of chicken between the two of us. ROSE: Something that far outstripped anything that the Strider fraternity could have produced in their wildest, most jpegged creative wet dreams. ROSE: But in the end that triumph of irony came back to bite us in the fucking ass, as irony is wont to do. ROSE: There was absolutely no possibility of us casually letting you all know that, by the way, we had had a secret daughter named Yiffany Longstocking. ROSE: At least, not right away. ROSE: But carapacian change-of-name paperwork is so complex and circuitous that, eventually, keeping quiet forever just seemed like the more reasonable option.

This is, even for Homestuck, monumentally stupid. You named your daughter Yiffany Longstocking as a joke and then kept the child secret because you were embarrassed. You two are awful fucking parents. You are the worst parents in the entire series, and that includes Bro Strider and the spider that made Vriska feed it children.

And we’re literally at the point where the writing is bad and the joke is how bad the writing is. This isn’t enjoyable to read; you can’t make a bad B-movie My Immortal fanfic on purpose.

Even now, Yiffy is likely being held at spoonpoint

I feel like “Jade and Rose have a secret daughter named Yiffany Longstocking” can be a joke or it can be drama but maybe not both at the same time.

#Homestuck 2 #Homestuck #Homestuck 2 Liveblog

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l8rhader · 4 years

Photo

It was Tuesday which meant it was Losers Family Game Night. Except, as far as most of the Losers knew, Eddie Kaspbrak had a study group that he just couldn’t get out of.

In truth, he had needed a minute. And a drink. And a quiet walk around the city. All that had done for him was solidified his realization. He needed to get his shit together. For over a decade, he’d pined. He’d watched as Richie went on a never-ending string of increasingly frustrating bad dates. He listened as he bitched about each of them after they’d all, inexplicably, failed to realize how wonderful he was. At 22, in his senior year of college and living with his six best friends in a rented house just off campus, he was really, truly living, and- He’d had enough waiting. He wanted Richie.

He headed back to the house and snuck in the backdoor, heading up the kitchen stairs to sit, cross-legged on Richie’s bed, and just waited, picking at a tiny hole at the bottom hem of his faded old T-Shirt with the demon car. He didn’t want to deal with Game Night or anyone else until he saw Richie.

Downstairs, the rest of the Losers Club were chatting happily and setting up the board for a friendly and Not-At-All-Competitive-Beverly-Remember-What-Happened-Last-Time game of Monopoly. Richie stood up from the ottoman and moved for the stairs. “Hang on, guys, don’t start without me. I just want to change into sweats,” he said, adding “Stan, pull the-”

“Shoe,” he predicted, plucking it out of the box from under Beverly’s fingers as she huffed, reaching from the couch behind him, nearly knocking the wind out of Ben with an accidental kick to the gut, securing the Top Hat for herself before Stan could swipe it. His call doubled as an encouragement to getting him out and back. “Got it,” Richie shot him a thumbs-up behind his back. “Hurry, it’s already 6,” he called, knowing that, at this rate, they were going to be up until way later than he’d like. He had work in the morning, even if no one else had class until noon.

Richie was already upstairs and opening the door to his room, though. He already had the top of his jeans unbuttoned, heading to his dresser for something more comfortable. He let them drop, stepping out of them in just his boxers.

Momentarily stunned by the situation he found himself in, Eddie found his voice quick enough. “Hey Richie,” he said quietly. “Can we talk?”

Jumping backward and knocking his dresser drawer shut on his finger, though managing to come up with the pants he’d come in search of, Richie yelped. “Ow! Fuck,” he hissed, popping the injured digit into his mouth instinctively. “Eds, what-” He stopped, looked down at himself, and immediately felt his face flush hot. “What’s up?” he asked, covering himself up with the hastily retrieved garment before realizing he could indeed put them on.

“I need to say something to you and I need to say it all before you interrupt me so can you be uncharacteristically quiet for like 5 minutes before you say anything that’s going to make me potentially jump out of your bedroom window in embarrassment,” Eddie said, taking a sharp intake of breath before adding a quiet, “please?”

Brows furrowed behind his glasses, Richie moved to his bed and sat beside Eddie. “Of course,” he said, fighting off the instinct to point out that anything that was going to take Eddie five minutes to say would take 30 from anyone else- maybe 15 from him, but what’s 10 minutes between friends, right? “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong,” he said quietly, picking at his cuticle before dropping his hands into his lap. He looked over at Richie, who was looking at him so softly that he could hardly stand it and stood up. “Can you not look at me while I say any of this? I can’t deal with your face and those big fucking eyes staring at me while I try to put my thoughts together because if I do, Richie, I swear I’m never going to get through this,” he said as he started to pace.

Richie stared up at him incredulously for a moment, wondering just what in the hell he’d gotten himself into, before shaking it off. “Sure. Whatever you need,” he said, plucking the plush beaver Eddie had won him at the carnival one year. At the time, he may have buried it under a dirty joke or ten, - and by may have, he absolutely did, but it made Eddie laugh that big, open laugh that always twisted a knot in Richie’s gut he couldn’t place at the time but he definitely had figured out by now, so it wasn’t for nothing- but it was, and remained to the day, one of his most prized possessions.

It appeared, though, that Eddie didn’t need Richie’s agreement for any of this. “I mean, how couple I possibly focus when you’re there and you look like that and you’re my best fucking friend and you just get whatever it is that I’m trying to say without me having to try which is impressive considering that I try really fucking hard all the time and you’re always there! And you always play along! And you’re-” he looked back at Richie and clenched and unclenched his fists quickly. “I just don’t get it and of course you’re going to say no because, I mean, you’re you and why would you even want to so it doesn’t-”

“Eds, I don’t mean to interrupt this conversation you’re having with yourself when you did ask for five minutes but,” he said, standing up and placing the stuffed animal back on his bed with a lightly confused expression, “you haven’t actually said-”

“AND THEN, here you are, six-fucking-two and cheekbones and shoulders and hands and-” he spluttered, struggling, “and-and-and I can’t even focus on anything at all because you’re this fucking hot AND you’re quite possibly the funniest person I’ve ever met, despite all of the fighting and calling me names that are absolutely mortifying but I don’t hate as much as I say I do because I know that it’s endearment from you,” he said, taking the hand that he hadn’t even noticed Richie had reached out to him. He rolled it thoughtfully in his own hand and smiled. “But, then, you have to be such a fucking idiot, like there’s not a brain under that perfect mop of curls you call hair, and go on all of these stupid dates with these stupid assholes who don’t see how sweet and smart and brave and funny and gorgeous you are and I have to wonder why the fuck it’s always them and not me when I’m right fucking here. And every time one of these shitbrained lowlifes breaks your heart, I end up here in this exact spot, surrounded by your dirty laundry, wondering what in the hell happened to make you ignore what was right in front of your face the whole damn time; trying to figure out why it’s them and not me because I swear if I had you, I’d never let you go.” Eddie took another breath that might have been a little huffier than he’d intended, but he was mad. He was madly in love with Richie. So sue him if he thought that it was stupid that, after over ten years, he was going to have to admit it before he, maybe literally, exploded.

Even though he was hearing every word and, practiced as he was in the art of Eddie-fication, Richie was having trouble following. “I need something a little more linear here, Eds. Give me something to go on.”

Give him something to go on, he did. Eddie launched himself onto his tiptoes, arms draped over Richie’s shoulders as he kissed him. If Richie had had any warning at all, he might have been quicker on the uptake. He settled into the kiss quick enough, pulling Eddie up into his arms eagerly. It still wasn’t close enough for Eddie. He wound one hand into Richie’s hair, adjusting his neck for a better angle.

“God, why are you so fucking tall?” he panted when he finally came up for air. “One of us is gonna end up needing a chiropractor if we keep this up,” he added.

Letting his hands wander lower, he gripped the back of Eddie’s thighs and hoisted him up so they were a little closer to even and kissed him again. “Better?” he asked, despite feeling pretty confident that it was.

Richie smiled at him. That was sort of what he thought. “You drive me insane, too,” he said, moving his strong hands to Eddie’s biceps and pulling him in closer. “And I love you, too.”

Eddie looked up at him, quietly stunned. He thought back over everything he’d said but he was pretty sure that he’d left that bit out. “You-”

“That was the general takeaway of your rant, right? Because, honestly, Eds, it was a little all over the place but there was a good bit of mentioning different physical attributes, some jealousy and frustration with my past dating experiences, some mentioning of things other than my body, but,” he drew his lips into a straight line and shrugged, “to be fair, I’m sure you had a speech but I came in here and dropped trough and shot that all to shit,” he laughed, getting a slight blush from Eddie, “followed by a good deal of insulting which is Spaghetti-Speak for I love you.”

Richie leaned forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Eddie’s waist. “Is it?” Eddie asked, suddenly realizing that he hadn’t had much of a plan past this part.

Nodding, Richie leaned back a little. “I’ve wanted to be your boyfriend for a long time,” he admitted. Beneath his hands, he could practically feel Eddie vibrating with excitement. “That is, if you want me, too?”

A bright smile crept along Eddie’s face, initiating those dimples Richie liked so much he could fucking scream. “Of course, I want you,” he said, letting his hands rest wrapped tightly in the buttons of his shirt. “I want you more than anything else I can think of.”

“Good. Because you’re stuck with me, my man,” he said, swaying them both back and forth happily, a slow dance. Then, realizing what he’d said and the implications of it, he simply smiled. “My man.” Eddie leaned up on his tiptoes and kissed him once more, pulling him in by his shirt before hooking his arms around his neck. From the living room, there was a chorus of shouts for Richie to hurry the fuck up. “Are you gonna come down with us? Because I don’t want to stop this, but-”

Eddie released a heavy sigh. “Go,” he groaned, shoving him out the door and toward the steps. It was stupid, he realized, waiting this long. Grinning broadly as he watched Richie pad down the stepsHe ducked toward the front door and opened it, pulling Richie toward him as he closed it, giving them the option of making it seem like Eddie had just gotten home. Still, his hand in Richie’s felt right. The way Richie had instinctively moved his hand to Eddie’s hip might have made his heart skip a beat as he hovered closer, obscured from the Losers by the wall with their coat rack on it.

Leaning in, Richie captured Eddie’s lips with his own, pressing himself flush against him. It was exhilarating. He had never in a million years thought that it would happen like this, if it happened at all. He thought there would be some long, pitiful conversation. Some dramatic scene. He’d expected tears and panic- maybe even some puke, on his end.

But this?

Kissing Eddie was easy. Having Eddie as a boyfriend- being Eddie’s boyfriend- that was going to be even easier. Effortless. Inevitable. He could feel it. He could tell.

Still, he had to stop. He had to pull back for a moment before he lost his head entirely and they got caught. “Do you really want to do this?” he asked, thumb grazing lightly over Eddie’s cheek.

Eddie leaned into his hand and looked up at him, a hint of mischief in those deep, brown eyes. He entwined his freehand in Richie’s hair, kissing him with an even more determined fire than he had the first time. Richie hummed in surprise against his mouth, then melted against him dramatically, like the snowman turning into the little boy in that soup commercial. He tilted Eddie’s face up and and leaned into him, feeling their hearts running a race. For once, Richie thought, just a part of him might be faster than Eddie.

When he finally pulled back, breathless and flushed, Eddie nodded. “I really, really do.”

“See you in there, then,” he said, kissing him lightly one last time for the moment, smiling briefly against his lips.

Hearing Stan call out to him again, Richie turned and practically bounced back into the living room Eyes wide, Eddie whispered a harsh, “Wait. I didn’t mean to tell them. I just meant yes to you!” Richie settled in against the pile of throw pillows on the far side of the room, and busied himself collecting his money from Stan and bitching at Mike for stealing his seat. “Richie? Richie!” Eddie continued to hiss, digging his fists into his hair. “Fuck.”

He peeked around the corner and took in the set-up. Bev and Ben were still on the couch but she was sitting up, poised for battle. Stan was on the floor with his back against the couch, knees against the coffee table, bank assembled in the lid and safely under the table where Beverly couldn’t reach without alerting him. Bill’s chair was still vacant, because he was still in the kitchen making drinks. Mike sat cross legged on the ottoman with Richie nested in the pillows beside him. His heart skipped another beat- it really needed to stop doing that- as he realized that that caught-the-canary look Richie had was because of him. He looked so happy. And fuck- he was, too.

“Was that the food?” Mike asked.

“No,” Richie answered, then paused. “Well, I mean. It’s something I plan on eating later,” he added quickly, raising his eyebrows as Eddie ducked out of sight. He laughed a little, knowing he was gonna hear it for that later.

From the entryway, there was the sound of a definite thunk of head against wall. “What was that?” asked, moving to get up, spooked.

“Probably the pasta coming to a boil,” Richie offered, situating his loudly colored money beside him. Beverly looked at him curiously.

Still missing the point, “What? What pasta?” Mike asked, looking over at the rest of the group as Bill came in from the kitchen with their drinks. “Didn’t we order pizza? I don’t-”

Once he’d freed his hands, handing Richie and Mike their beers, popping the open wine bottle down in front of Ben and Bev passing Stan his 7 and 7, Bill asked, “Richie, did you hit your head? How many f-fingers?” offering two individual fingers for him to focus on as he plopped down into his chair, taking a swig of his own beer.

“Three if I play my cards right,” Richie winked. Off to his left, Stan squinted at him. Not that it was any different from his normal schtick, per se, but there was something different about Richie. Bev picked up on it, too, swatting Stan on the shoulder and fixing him with a deliberate stare.

“Oh my God!” Eddie groaned, spinning in a circle. He buried his face in his hands. That wasn’t what he meant. He hadn’t-

“Eddie?” Ben asked, craning his neck to get a better angle to try to see into the entryway. “I thought he had that study group he couldn’t get out of tonight.”

Perking up, Bev leaned across the arm of the sofa, shouting, “Eds! If that’s you, get your ass in here!”

Eddie let one deep breath fill his lungs as he dropped his head back, closing his eyes. He was going to have to kill his boyfriend. Even with attack mode activated, he still smiled at the thought. The word boyfriend meant Richie which made him go warm all over. He shook it off and peeked back around the corner. “Hey, guys,” he said, sheepishly.

Bill turned around, more than a little shocked to find the seventh Loser home. “What g-gives?”

“You said you wouldn’t be home until super late tonight?” Bev asked, gesturing for him to come sit with her and Ben.

There was a chorus of agreement as he fully entered the room, arms folded protectively around his waist. He looked down at the floor, trying to avoid eye contact that would clearly give him away, until “Yeah, Spaghetti. What gives?” Richie said with a crooked smile, cocking his head to one side as he leaned back on his elbows.

“Fuck you, dude. I take it all back. Every fucking word,” Eddie growled, crossing to Richie and swiping one of the pillows out from under him to smack him in the gut with it. “You’re such a dipshit, you know that right? I meant yes to you not yes to whatever the fuck you took me saying yes to mean.” Richie opened his mouth, meaning to point out that the rest of the Losers were still in the room. Instead, all he could do was gape at his boyfriend. “Oh, fucking forgive me if I wanted to take a minute to enjoy the fact that I finally got over my shit, marched back here, and made a fucking move! Maybe I wanted to keep it between us for, oh, I don’t know ten minutes before you broadcast to all of our friends that I just asked you out.”

Richie blinked a couple of times, stunned. He held his hand up, preparing to count off on his fingers. “So, to recap, you came home completely unannounced-”

“I live here, asshole! Do I have to tell you all-”

Flexing his outstretched hand, Richie added his index finger to the list, “Started fucking yelling at me about my face, my dating habits, my laundry habits, and my mouth,” added a third, smiling as he glanced past Eddie at the shocked faces of their friends, “kissed me, started yelling at me again for being too fucking tall but if I’m not mistaken,” he said, letting his hand spring back to his chest with a loud thud, “I am the one who made the startling confession and did the boyfriend asking and then returned to the game night that you were invited to in the house that we share with our friends without so much as a fucking word past reiterating that you really did want to be with me,” he listed, counting them off on the three fingers he’d joked about just moments earlier. He reached up, and took Eddie’s hand. “You, light of my life and pain in my ass, are the one who came in here guns blazing and broadcasting it for all of these Losers. I was simply being casual!”

Eddie squeaked out a laugh. “As if! You came in with all of the jokes and the fucking commentary! What the hell did you think they were going to think” Something I plan to eat later? What the fuck, Richie? I swear-”

“Because you’re so cute, cute, cute, I could just eat you up, Spaghetti,” Richie said, tugging at his boyfriend’s hand, chewing at his lower lip.

Stan sighed, pulling the box out from under the table and starting to count out Eddie’s starting pile. “He’s always talked about you like that,” he said flatly.

“Yeah, as s-soon as you came in we would have just let it g-go as him being a dickhead,” Bill laughed, reaching into his pocket for his wallet and pulling out a fifty, taking the one Mike was flagging toward the table and tossing them both at Ben. Bev and Stan both dug through their Monopoly money and tried to pawn that off as fair, receiving nothing but a disapproving tut from Ben, now $200 richer- in real currency, even.

Settling back into his spot, Stan glanced over at his friends, thoroughly happy for them. “So, if you two are done, we were just starting on Monopoly and I had the car set aside just in case,” he offered, sticking the pawn on the stack of brightly colored bills and handing them up to Eddie who just stared blankly at him. “I open tomorrow. In or out?”

Richie swiped the pieces and laughed. “C’mere,” he said said, a little roughly, tugging Eddie down to sit between his legs. Snuggling back against his boyfriend, he smiled, rocking back and forth a bit.

All it took was one subtle moment- Richie pressed his lips to Eddie’s neck gently, whispering in his ear and Eddie shut his eyes smiling happily. Mike cooed some nonsense about it being ‘about damn time,” and Eddie blushed, admitting that, yeah, it was. That’s all it took for Stan to lock eyes with Eddie, claiming that now he was vulnerable. The peace was broken with unrelenting trash talk as Eddie took first roll.

“Is it a g-good idea to play Monopoly, of all things, the day they actually g-get together?” Bill asked Ben quietly as he walked back to the kitchen to grab the second round. As oldest, he always went last for every game, making him the barmaid, most nights.

“It’s not like they’ve never played together before,” Ben answered, watching the new couple with a gentle smile as his own girlfriend batted his hand away for distracting her. “Besides, Richie’s pretty calm with Monopoly.”

“It’s not Richie I’m worried about,” Bill said as Richie cursed. Eddie had given an evil laugh, teasing that Ben had always been on his side and, in throwing his head back, nearly concussed him. “Although, maybe I should be,” he laughed, shaking his head, passively wondering if, maybe, he could see the future or something because hadn’t he just asked-

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #bill hader #finn wolfhard #james ransone #jack dylan grazer #it chapter 1 #it chapter 2 #it ch 1 #it ch 2 #stephen king's it #r + e #the losers club #it 2019 #it 2017 #he knew well enough #i fucked your mom

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wren-again · 4 years

Text

Don’t You Cry No More

Chuck smiled in his sleep. The Winchesters hugging in heaven. Two brothers and the open road. Game of Thrones in redneck America. Heterosexual ever after. Both dead. Both redeemed. The way it was always supposed to be. He was not to be defeated, he was invincible, the beginning and the end, light and dark. He was everything. Just as it had always been. Destiny, his favourite invention.

In his dream he was still god. In his dream he was not human, he had never been human. In his dream he was not hung from the ceiling. In his dream the blood was not slowly draining from him. In his dream he would never have been too weak to fight off a Djinn.

If he had been kinder to the Winchesters maybe they would have saved him. If he’d been kinder to anyone maybe someone would have noticed he was missing. As it was, no one saved him. No one even knew he was gone. As it was his body rotted and was never found. Maybe Jack knew, maybe not. He had vowed to be a hands off god and he would live up to that promise.

Jack sat in the bunker with his family, a smile on his face with no discernable source. Maybe he was just happy. He hadn’t brought Cas back, not yet. He could, in an instant, but he was a better storyteller than that. In his three years he had watched so many movies, with Dean and Sam and Cas, and he knew that there was a pattern to these things. Three years old and already a better storyteller than his grandfather. He supposed age and wisdom had no correlation, it either was or was not.

All those who Chuck had snapped away had been restored. Sam and Eileen were so happy, it was beautiful to see, and that was helping. Dean had to be the one. Dean had to make the choice. Not for magical reasons, those were irrelevant to a god, but for the success of any future they might have, and for The Story.

Jack had understood instantly, when he absorbed Chuck’s power, the nature of a god. One didn’t have to rule everything, or even control anything. A god was just a writer. Jack didn’t have to tell every story, most of the pieces would fall into place without interference, he just had to choose one. It wasn’t hard. He knew what mattered to this world. Their family, all of them, all those who loved the Winchesters, and the brothers themselves. If he was a god, he decided, he would make it his life’s purpose to heal the Winchesters, to give his family what they had fought so hard to give him. He could do that now. He just had to be patient.

Dean had to be ready. Otherwise he would only push Cas away.

Dean smiled that performative smile. He was happy for Sammy, he was. He really freaking loved Eileen. He loved seeing his brother happy. He was so fucking pleased for them. Claire and Kaia too, adorable, young love. Why was the next generation so much freer? Why wasn’t he born when they were? If he’d been born twenty years later maybe he... maybe Cas...

He was miserable. He tried to hide it. He tried so hard to live his life and just not think. He drank a lot. He got a job and a dog and he was happy. He was okay.

He was not okay.

He fixed cars. He loved cars. He knew how to love. He loved cars and pie and booze and Sam. He loved. He knew what love was. He knew how to feel it.

He buried himself in his work. Engine grease and physical labour. It was enough. It was enough. It was enough. It was-

He didn’t cry every night.

He should have said something.

He was so fucking angry. Why did Cas have to tell him? Why did Cas have to tell him then? Why did Cas have to die? He should have said it back. Fuck Chuck and fuck The Empty and fuck Death for good measure. Fuck himself most of all. He should have said it back.

He should have said it years ago.

He didn’t beat up a car this time. There was a weight in his limbs, a limpness that wouldn’t let him swing a crowbar or punch a wall, he didn’t have the energy.

He threw away his second pillow, the one he’d never used, the one he’d bought just in case. What was the point? His bed would never be filled. He would always be cold, now, empty.

Was Cas conscious where he was? Was he asleep? Dean hoped he was asleep.

Dean didn’t sleep much anymore. Not that he ever had, but it was worse. His sheets were a damp mess most mornings. Nightmares like he hadn’t had since he was freshly out of hell.

He didn’t keep a gun under his pillow anymore. If death came he would let it. What was the point anymore? He was the loose thread. Everyone else was happy, everyone else had found a purpose or happiness or love. He was lost. He had lost everything.

He couldn’t go down to the dungeon anymore. He avoided that room with one excuse or another. Sam was the nerdy one, he could get the files, that was why it was. He wasn’t scared, didn’t fear the dark would come for him and never let him go, or tempt him with some cruel ghost of what could have been.

Dean Winchester wasn’t scared of anything.

Despair. Always despair. A confession repeated on a never ending loop, words he would never speak, events he couldn’t ever bear to recount to Sam. He might as well have lost his tongue for all he could bear to talk. He had never been this quiet. Sam must have noticed, surely, but years of experience had taught him not to ask. Dean cursed his violent rage, all those years of biting Sam’s head off the second he got too close to any hidden truth, he would have given anything for those questions now. He couldn’t bear to broach the topic. He knew he’d only start crying again. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to tell anyone. It hurt too much. Sam didn’t ask and Dean didn’t tell.

If only there was a way to bring Cas back. If only there was something, anything, he could do to save him. Dean wanted to die, but he knew that even in death he wouldn’t get what he truly wanted, so he kept on living. One day after the next. More suffering, more silence.

He’d researched, with a frantic desperation, the first few weeks. He’d contacted every deity, every demon, every nasty little thing that might hold the answer. None of them answered. There was nothing out there. The big bads, all of them seemed to have vanished. Rowena knew as little about The Empty as he did, the angels were unhelpful as always. He wished Jack hadn’t given his powers over to Amara, or Amara hadn’t disappeared.

He’d been surprised when Jack told them, appearing on their doorstep in the dead of night, that he was simply human now. He hadn’t known that was possible, but the kid had no reason to lie. Jack would have brought Cas back already, if he could. It was hopeless, he supposed, and he just had to learn to live like this, with this truth that could never be spoken eating away at him, with an empty space where Cas should be. Alone. Always alone.

Sam didn’t ask. Jack didn’t ask either, Jack just stated a fact, with the simplicity of an all knowing child.

“At least you know he loved you,” that simple smile, a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Dean managed to make it all the way to his bedroom. He managed to lock the door. He started crying the second he was alone. Tears like he hadn’t cried since that first night.

“Dean, you okay?” Sam’s worried voice through the door wasn’t enough to snap him out of it this time.

“Leave me alone Sam.”

It wasn’t fair. Hearing it said out loud just strengthened his certainty that it wasn’t enough, it would never be enough. A million potential futures, snatched away the second they became possible. Dean deserved to be happy god damn it!

“Dean, you know you can talk to me, right?”

He should have been able to kiss him before he went. He shouldn’t have had to watch love be snatched away from him while he watched, helpless. He should have been able to make Cas smile like he had, oh so briefly, every day for the rest of his life. He should get to have two pillows on his bed, warmth on the other side.

“I miss Cas,” he sobbed, quietly, in the direction of the door.

“What did you say Dean?”

Dean leaned his head against the wall, cold against his burning skin.

“He loved me. He loved me all these years and I fucked it up Sam. We could have had what you and Eileen have but I was too fucking scared and I left it too late and now he’s gone and there’s nothing I can do.”

“Unlock the door Dean.”

He did as he was told. Not caring if Sam saw him like this. Not bothering to move his head. Screwing his eyes shut as the truth of it all crashed down on him.

“I just want him back. I just need to tell him. Why didn’t I tell him Sam? Three words and I fucking couldn’t and now-“ Dean had ripped his head away from the wall in his rage to turn to look at Sam, only for his words to die out in a strangled sort of noise at what he saw.

His ears were ringing, ringing like they had been that first day, like broken glass was falling around him. Like the most beautiful hideous noise in the universe was threatening to deafen him.

His vision was hyper focussed at the same time it blurred with tears and the surreal nature of what was happening.

Maybe he was just asleep.

“Hello Dean.”

No, this was not the way he dreamed. Everything was too clear, every detail perfect in its imperfection.

“I love you,” he blurted without thought. He couldn’t pause, not this time. He would never stop to process again. Embarrassment and backpedalling and a foot in the mouth held no fear compared to what had come before, the sickening terror of too late, too late. Not too late now. How was it not too late?

He didn’t care.

He flung himself at Cas, not pausing to wonder if Sam was still standing out in that hallway, not caring about anything but this.

His full weight settled on warm solid flesh, angel beneath the trench coat, Cas easily holding Dean to him as he wrapped his legs around his waist and kissed him over and over again. Like he couldn’t breathe unless it was Cas’ air, because he couldn’t, not really.

Jack smiled in the library. He didn’t need to see with regular eyes, not anymore. He didn’t need them to know. Maybe he would tell them that he was still god, if they asked, maybe not. All they needed to know was that everything was good, now. All they needed to know was family, and love, and long nights of peaceful sleep.

That was the story he wrote.

He was a good writer, after all, and he loved his family.

Sam sat down beside him, smiling just as wide as he was, and they sat together for a while. No words were spoken. Sam knew. Sam was grateful. Jack was pleased that someone shared his secret, he was pleased that it changed nothing, and he was especially pleased when Sam reached into his pocket and produced a bar of nougat. Jack took it. He was happy. They all were.

No tears, not now. Never again.

That was what the Winchesters deserved and Jack was oh so willing to give it to them.

Love held no place for selfishness, for limitation, love was infinite. God was supposed to be love, after all, and Jack was going to be a wonderful god.

He reached his arms around his world and held it tight, kept it safe, and somewhere in the bunker Dean did the same.

Dean slept better than he ever had that night, the next, and every night for the rest of his life. With his angel beside him no nightmares could come, only pleasant dreams and even better waking, only a simple life of a simple man and the cosmic being that loved him.

He wanted for nothing.

He was saved.

#fix-it fic #15.20 #destiel #Angst with a happy ending #my writing

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spaceguybob · 4 years

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“A memory that remained” Housamo fanfiction Scenario - Ophion.

Tokyo After-school summoners. Fanfiction/scenario. "A memory that remained"

PREFACE - This Fanfiction is my personal love letter to the creators of the TAS game, their imagination and fantastic story telling. Especially to Ophion who is a amazing husband character and i thought his storytelling could use a bit more.

** That bizarre adventure was finally over with things seemingly back to normal. Both you and Seth laughed when you saw each other again this day, especially since you thought you may not see one another ever again. Faith has some odd twists and turns. But now, you were glad, able to finally relax. As much it was possible of course in the summer resort when you were surrounded by a gang of over-hyper friends chasing around the swimming pools, jumping into the water and causing general havoc. "Come on! If you don't get in the pool I'm going to bash you till you do!" Kengo yells impatiently from the water area but his words get blurred out by water sprays coming from Hanuman's water gun. Seth laughed in the background after seeing the scene, he and Shiro oddly found a common language together. Ganglie and Ryota snuck away to replenish the food supplies, and Toji and Moritaka were hiding in the shade debating something formally, perhaps it was sword fighting or training? Or just generally plotting revenge on Kengo for throwing both of them into the pool. Closing your eyes, sitting comfortably on the lounger you only want to drift away. The muscles still felt bruised and tired, although there is no physical sign of the experience you went through, the mind still thinks all the signs are there. Also, there are things you are still slowly processing. Especially one thing. There was a memory that kept creeping on you, almost every time you closed your eyes. It was hard to describe to be honest because memories have images and this one felt so distorted, it was a mix of colours, images, conversation and laugh, and most importantly music and a feeling. The last two things started following you in a pair, always. There is a melody you remember and a longing. Having been told multiple times that your rule has permanently cut you off from memories of your many lives past you have eventually accepted the fact that whatever the past was, it will have to stay in the past. Except for this one broken memory which felt like it was coming from a badly adjusted radio.

A sudden squirt of cold water pulled you sharply out of the depth of your mind. So sharply your whole body jerked up in surprise. “Undercover ninja attack!” Hanuman flashed his teeth from the edge of the pool waving his water gun at you. “Sleepy face gets a direct hit from the super water blaster 1000!” Kengo cheers with him jumping out of the pool heading in your direction fast.

“Sorry partner but you asked for it! I warned you” He grins rubbing his hands ready to grab your legs, but you are faster than him and swiftly turn around jumping off the lounger before he even tries, unexpectedly Kengo slips on a puddle of water created by Hanuman’s gun as he tried to outmanoeuvre you and ends up flat on the lounger waving his arms in panic. You can’t stop but laugh together with everyone else who was observing the scene. Kengo immediately tries to retaliate with a face red like a boiled lobster and chase you but he doesn’t have the stamina you have. Time and time again he tries grabbing you but with a swift zigzag, you outsmart him every time, having the rest of the gang cheer loudly with each of your successful escapes.

“Not fair partner! I’m barefoot!” Kengo huffs loudly.

“Like that stopped you before!” You shout in the air trying not to lose your path, still just to make sure you were far away, for only a split second you turned your head to see Kengo a meter behind, and he suddenly stopped with a surprised face and then – thump! Without knowing you run into something or someone solid feeling the air escapes your lungs as you sat down in shock.

Before you was Xolot standing still firm like a tree, unmoved. He looked down at you with an awkward, slightly fearful smile.

“Oh hi!” Then his expression changed as he realized what just happened. “Sorry! Sorry! It’s my fault I didn’t see you! Mistress Hakumen told me to find you and your friends I didn’t see you run. Are you ok? Sorry!” As you thought that nothing can beat the avalanche of his apologies a high pitched laugh pierced the air and immediately you closed your eyes in a grimace knowing Mistress Hakumen was incoming. Brace yourself you thought.

“Ohohoho! My darling Lucifuge why do you always assume I am up to no good? That’s so presumptuous of you! I’m but a flower pulled by the winds of never-ending emotion!”

“My dearest. You are a jelly fisher. One can have a conversation with you that seems all nice and friendly and sweet, then you suddenly feel like you've been stung with deadly poison, or end up locked in a prison, or even worse; without knowing what happened.” Lucifuge nervously giggled.

As you tried to sneak away back to your group Xolot extremely over-enthusiastically and loudly shouted: “Mistress Hakumen I have found him! You will be so happy I found him, Mistress! Yes!”

You felt as you were betrayed on the spot and couldn’t but grin covering your ears.

“Thanks for blowing my cover.”

“Oh sorry! Were you hiding? I’m so sorry! Please forgive me!” But, you couldn’t be angry at Xolot since he was always more than loyal to his mistress, even if it was in a very misguided and not very smart way. And so you braced hoping not to, again, become the object of their fights, and love arguments of these two.

“Milord! There you are! Oh!” Hakumen sang with her flirtatious voice toward you trying to hide behind Xolot, only for him to be shoved aside by her. “Move you idiot!” her songbird voice turned into a snarl. She still kept her flashy swimsuit on.

“I’m sorry! Mistress!” Xolot yelped putting down his ears.

Uhhh here we go, you think to yourself forcing a polite smile as they surround you from both sides.

“My fallen star! Don’t you just find it exhilarating here? My dearest remember, nothing succeeds like excess, well of everything! Maybe with one exception” Lucifuge glanced at Hakumen. You wondered how he wasn’t feeling hot in his flamboyant clothes where everyone else was practically half-naked.

Hakumen snarled slightly in response. “What does that supposed to mean Lucifuge, you half-jelly devil! I have not spared any excess to make this place perfect for my beloved Milord! Don’t you think my bellowed? I know it is so because you enjoyed it so far! Ah, the adventure we prepared for you! And the excitement you had! Ohohoho! There will be more!” She flutters her eyes to you.

“It’s fascinating my bellowed fallen star how Mistress Hakumen can turn any offence into a half baked compliment.”

“It wasn’t?”

“I must have said it wrong.”

“Maybe you should try it too Lucifuge. It would save us so many awkward situations when you behave like you swallowed a toad. Some aristocrat you are.”

Lucifuge looked genuinely hurt and shocked. “Mistress Hakumen, is this your new tactic now? Slander me in front of my divine lord! The beautiful star I wish to capture?! How low of you!”

You can feel like their argument and bickering is getting more intensive every second, completely ignoring your existence which oddly is a relief although you still didn’t even manage to say hello to anyone.

“I would never! Not in front of my beloved milord! For him, I’m a precious flower and I-”

She gets interrupted by the very familiar beaming voice that towers everything and everyone.

“I do hope I am interrupting something! What are you two arguing about now? Isn’t there enough scheming and plotting you caused recently?” Ophion towers above the pair, behind him Aizen marches with his ever-odd military precision and an angry look. You are sure he is judging every square inch of the summer resort and thinking of ways of purifying it from the filth.

Then Ophion saw you and skillfully moved himself in front of the arguing couple.

“My bellowed flower, my world, I heard what this vixen has done. Are you Alright? I should have known she cannot be left without a proper supervisor, as this may end up in another unplanned adventure as she calls them only to vow you into her claws.”

“That’s outrageous!” Hakumen squealed behind him but Ophion stopped her with his arm.

“Silence! Is it not another of your plans? Whenever my spouse is involved you always have a scheme ready. You twisted fox, you have schemes within schemes within schemes!”

“No need for such excessive complaints my dear! My beloved milord already knows his mistress is a genius among her peers!”. Now all three began arguing. It was fun to watch initially but it always becomes tiresome after a while. Especially with Aizen giving you murderous looks.

But the fact was, the moment Ophion showed himself you felt something change. It was that scrambled memory that keeps haunting you. Unsurely if it was the memory or yourself, or both your attitude changed towards Ophion. Yes, he was too much, but what can be expected of millennia-old god dragon that created life – or so he claims. And although it was extremely embarrassing for you to hear him proclaim his love to you every single time so loudly everyone within half a mile could hear, it was also cute. But, was it you or this memory. You couldn’t hear the music anymore, but there was something you decided to do during those nights you spent on the desert with Seth, Hanuman and Ganglie. You decided to gift that one memory to him.

Now only if you could get their attention.

“Hey everyone -!” But they were too occupied in arguing. Well, since nobody is paying attention, you though there is only one way. Next to where you were standing, on one of the loungers, there was a water gun, one of many that were left around the pool for the enjoyment of the guests. So you thought – Let’s see how they like a cold shower.

Their expression was priceless when you squired water around. The bickering stopped immediately and everyone looked just at you!

“Now since everyone is back to planet earth.”

“My dearest milord how could you!” Hakumen cried in shock.

“How undignified! I need a change of clothes!” Lucifuge complained. But Ophion didn’t say anything only piercing you with a highly amused look, you flashed his teeth to him winking innocently.

“How dare you! Have you no brain! Look what have you done to Sir Ophion’s clothes!” Aizen suddenly roared.

“Aizen, you need to stop this!” Ophion waved his hand annoyed at the man.

“Well, if the only way for You to stop arguing about nonsense was me squirting all over you then, I’ll gladly do it again!” You grin at the trio.

“Ohoho the wordplay! My darling milord, you make me blush! Ohohohoh I want to hear more! Please don’t stop!”

“Lady Hakumen, must you want him only for yourself all the time! Such lack of dignity eh!” Lucifuge complained loudly, messing about with his wet shirt. “No, no, no this will not do! I cannot be seen in such an imperfect, undignified outfit” He mumbled to himself and turned on a heel and walked away ignoring everyone.

“My darling spouse is absolutely right. How shameful of us, concentrating on tiny squabbles. Please forgive me, my beloved. “ Ophion steps in front of them closer to you, only to have Hakumen overtake his position pushing him away with her elbow.

“Hmpf! Speak for yourself lizard! There is nothing tiny about us!” She envelopes the curves of her body with her hands. “Mistress Hakumen is all about beauty and grandeur! We go big or not at all! We love or we fall! My milord must know this! He needs to know at all cost how I love him!” You could feel your face getting hot from embarrassment as Hakumen was performing her little dance around you, touching your shoulders and hips in an unwanted way.

“Ha! Pick your words and actions carefully fox-woman! You shall not touch what is not yours!” Ophion’s voice roars in the air.

“Lady Hakumen! Have you no shame! I shall not tolerate frivolous behaviour like this polluting our guests! Especially with this one!” Aizen adds after Ophion glaring at her with fire in his eyes.

With a heavy sight, you can see them start again.

“Lady Hakumen, Xolot mentioned you were looking for me?” The security therion moved his ears and grinned happily as he heard you mention his name.

“Oh, oh! Indeed my beloved milord! How could I get my mind clouded so much by this stupid debate!” Hakumen put on another singing performance. “We, wish in our grace, to invite you to an evening concerto today evening. Of course, you are welcome to bring your friends with you. Just make sure milord they like such events. We only want to make you happy! It won’t be your typical music show, however, ohohoho! Oh no, no, no! There will be a live performance and all guests will receive pillows and drinks or food for their leisure! It will be performed here in the resort and it will be marvellous!”

It sounded fantastic to you since, at least you think, you enjoyed music, saying you think only because with the lack of memories it’s hard to know if you ever heard a live concert. But always enjoyed listening to different radio stations whenever given the chance and craved the occasion to listen it live.

“I would love to!” You say eagerly without hesitation.

“You would, my beloved spouse?” Ophion jumps into the conversation.

“Yes, I never listened to the music being performed live. Or at least I don’t think I did.”

“Ohohohoho! Milord, you please me gratefully! Oh, so many preparations need to be made before tonight! Now my darling run along and let your friends know and leave everything in my hands!”

“My darling spouse, my beloved jewel of the skies, if you are attending so shall I! I will reserve us the best spot and the most luxurious of seating for your comfort!” Ophion shakes in excitement. “I, your husband, delight in well-played instruments!”.

“Not in a million years!” Hakumen snarls. “I won’t let you steal and hurdle him only for yourself!”

Aizen who kept quiet jumps straight into the conversation. “Ophion, sir! I beg you to rethink! This is absurd. You cannot waste your precious, glorious time on such idiotic whims!”

“Nonsense!”Ophion shrugs Aizen’s words away. “I have but all of the eternal time for whims that will please my beloved spouse!”

“Ophion… could I- Could I talk to you for a second? Please?” And so you said it loudly for the first time, unsure if it was best left alone, but you can’t just let it drill a hole in your brain.

“Absolutely not! You shall not pollute my lord's mind with your absurd ideas!” Aizen roared angrily pulling his whip. You were sure that one day the blood vessels in his eyes will rapture spectacularly.

“Silence!” Ophion snapped at Aizen that immediately shrunk within himself in fear. Then looked directly at you with an intense stare, so intense it could only rival the one you remember from when you first saw his younger incarnation that recognized the piece of the soul of his wife within you. “My dearest, my beloved, I am all yours! Please tell me what it is!”

“Uhmm..” You suddenly lost your courage having everyone, especially Ophion look directly at you. It was definitely harder than all of the scenarios you run in your mind before, and even harder when you had to ignore Lady Hakumen scowls and angry grimaces of her theatrical sobs just now. “Can we talk somewhere in private?” After saying that you did expect Aizen to come out with another snotty comment but the last reprimand hit hard on his ego.

“Ha! All these moments I have waited for such a request! Oh, everything of this world! Your Ophion shall give you as much time as you want! Let us find ourselves a quiet place and talk my love!” The golden dragon leads you to a fairly empty bungalow just a few steps away from where you stood. You don’t even want to look back at Lady Hakumen, because her theatrics are just too much. Both her and Aizen are probably burning a hole in the back of your head right now.

“Look here my beloved, shall we step in and hide from the prying ears of the world.” The inside of the bungalow is quite narrow and you are surprised Ophion manages to go inside at all for his massive posture. He is after all much higher than any human, with his wings and long tail and massive physique. But without thinking you follow and close the door.

“Ah, my beloved! I cannot contain my happiness! Please tell me what burdens your heart and mind! My flower of the skies I want to know everything.” Ophion’s voice boomed so loudly you were absolutely sure anyone outside could hear him. And you were also sure the walls had ears, so without thinking you lifted a finger to your lips. The golden dragon looked at you curiously with a smile and a playful wink.

“Are you sure this room isn’t too small for you?” You then said in a low voice. He did look a bit uncomfortable. “It would have been better if You sat on the floor I think.”

“My dearest spouse, I do not care about such trivial problems! The closer I am to you the happier I am but I shall follow your request. The roof of this place is painful for my wings.” Ophion answered and slowly sat down. It felt as he was sitting in a dolls house. “Now, my dearest, please tell me, is everything alright.” But you heard a creak just outside and were sure somebody was listening. The last thing you needed.

“I think somebody is trying to listen so I’ll have to whisper to your ear if that’s OK.” You say casually to Ophion. The dragon turns his head curiously and looks around. But as you think how you can whisper to him you realize how big his stature is. “I’m sorry but I will have to climb on top of you!” You whisper again oblivious about what you just said.

“My dearest! Those words! I can’t believe this wonderful day!”

“That’s not what I mean – ah!” You try your best to reach to his ears, especially since Ophion doesn’t seem to want to help you and without realizing you place your hands on his bare arm. And then it shocks you.

“Ah!” There is a quiet gasp that leaves your mouth

"Is everything alright my darling? My jewel! Are my scales to tough for you?"

"No... No... You are very warm." You leave your hand on his arm and then another on his shoulder for a few seconds.

"I don't think I've ever touched you but it is like I know how it feels all along."

Ophion glances at you with his dark amber red eyes with intensity for a few moments.

"And how does it feel my darling spouse. Is this body of the godly dragon wonderful? Please give me, your beloved husband an answer, my jewel." When Ophion isn't screaming to the whole world his voice is surprisingly husky.

You hesitate not knowing what to say but you don't remove your hands just looking at him.

"There is something I'd like to give you. I have... I've been remembering something and I thought you should have it. As a gift." You whisper closely to his years. " And I don't want others to know because... Because I would like to keep it between us only."

You feel Ophion's hand on your back, you think he was trying to help you keep balance but... Well, this feels really embarrassing and your heart is pounding. This is definitely too much for one encounter, especially since nothing is going as you imagined it. This is harder than fighting. Why does it have to be harder than fighting?

"My beloved, oh how adorable you look blushing like that. Oh my jewel, I'm at a loss for words. Do you have a gift of memory for me? For me? Your husband? Through the cosmos, I knew this day would come. I shall empty my whole calendar for you, my beloved spouse. Will this be a romantic encounter? I shall ask for dinner to be prepared! "

"No... No... Can it just be two of us? Nothing special, no dinner. I'll bring something with me. Will that be ok?" Gods you feel so embarrassed and it feels Ophion grew in size since you asked him. Not sure if it's because he is so proud of himself or excited or both, proud and excited, which reminded you.

"Please, don't go telling everyone."

"Ah, my beloved jewel, why do you think I would do such a thing?" Ophion protested quietly.

"Because you would want everyone to know how proud you are, and to make Lucifuge and Hakumen jealous and angry." You point out.

"My beloved, your words are so hurtful, however true. I would take great pleasure in making, especially that fox woman, jealous as you say. Her scheming is always troublesome." Ophion grimaced and then smiled towards you sticking his tongue out the way he always would. You both spend a moment in this odd silence. Your hand on his arm and shoulder leaning towards his head, Ophion's hand holding your back. You feeling his touch on your bare skin. His dark amber red eyes piercing through you with an intensity you haven't seen before.

"Sir Ophion! My lord! Please I beg you, enough of this. This is inappropriate! This situation should cease immediately!" You hear Aizen's voice coming loudly from behind the door.

You think of moving but Ophion's hand remains still holding you.

"My beloved jewel, I made a promise to shower you with my love for every day I have missed you from my lonely existence from when you have fallen into the sea forcibly. This short encounter, my beloved, has given me so much joy I struggle to express it with words. I... This young Ophion is stunned. You may think my beloved treasure, that I'm rash, and juvenile. But for one like me who lost so much and lived lonely in different worlds, I learned to treasure every moment. That's why my darling spouse, my heart's shouts so much whenever I'm with you. Please don't think any less of this godly husband of yours because of that."

You could hear a commotion outside.

"I... Think...I missed you." You say quietly embarrassed. Ophion closes his eyes with a smile and as your words were a magic spell his grip loosens letting you go.

"I will see you tonight before the concerto, yes my darling? Will that be suitable for you? And then tomorrow? Yes? My beloved?"

You nod in response. Suddenly the door bars wide open.

"My precious fallen star! Others have told me you were her-!" Lucifuge barges straight in completely oblivious he was set up probably by Lady Hakumen. He stops mid-word once he saw both you and Ophion and his face struck with panic and shocked grimace.

"Oh, gods this is so embarrassing." You back away from Ophion who pierces Lucifuge with a deadly stare and very, very quickly excuse yourself and leave both of them who just started their typical arguments.

"What do you mean you don't want to come with me? Come on? Nobody?" You cry annoyed hearing all of the gang decline your request.

"Kengo?"

"I'm sorry partner but I have a training session with Moritaka. Besides, I'm very into music and all sorts. Maybe if it's a fighting club or something. And we can join in!" He clasps his hands.

"I can't believe you are even thinking of asking this meathead. He doesn't know the difference between a drum and a cello if he saw one." Shiro huffs unimpressed. "Had I known earlier, and I mean days earlier I could have made different plans but this is too late of notice."

"I understand Shiro." You say resigned. "How about you Tsathoggua?"

"No!" He yells back at you from the gaming console.

"But-!"

"Nope! I mean there will be too many people there, and Hakumen and the rest. I just want a peaceful evening, yeah?"

You roll your eyes looking around the room.

"Ryota? Come on, please!"

"I would like to, but I've made plans to see Maria earlier so I can't. What's the problem anyway? Just go and enjoy yourself."

"Certainly, it will be a good, new experience for you and you can tell us everything about it. Just make sure you are back in time, yes? Keep me noticed about everything?" Shiro reminds you with a stricter tone.

"That goes to all of you. Not just our Guild Master!" He roars across the room.

"Sure dad" Kengo grins and quickly slips out of the room before Shiro reacts.

"Right, you all have fun. I wanted to see Mr Mononobe and ask him for a favour."

"Enjoy the music" Ryota's voice follows you as you leave.

"Thanks!" You stick your head back through the door with a grin.

Mr Mononobe wasn't the easiest to find but eventually, you spotted him during his round checking classrooms.

"Hello, Mr Mononobe. I hope you are well." You start politely.

"Ahhh. Hello, young one. Are you not getting ready to enjoy the weekend? I can see you have been spending a lot of time outdoors, the sun has definitely left a mark on you."

"It's just too hot to stay indoors if you don't have to. Can I ask you a favour Mr Mononobe?"

"Sure, let's hear it. I can't promise anything though." He smiles gently looking at you with his typical fatherly look.

"Can I borrow the star projector from the astronomy classroom for a day or two? There is a... project thing... I'd like to use it for."

"Project thing you say?" He measures you up with his look for a few seconds thinking. " Well, I can't see no harm in it. We do have more than one in the inventory, so I'm happy for you to borrow it as long as you return it in the same condition you took it." Mr Mononobe says, but then seeing you smile adds "But, in return, I'd like you to help Shiro out with his duties for the next week after that, yes? Fair deal?"

It sounded more than fair to you, especially since in your mind you imagined it going much less smooth.

"Thank you so much Mr Mononobe. You are the best!" You add with a smile.

"Everything for my students." He ruffles your hair flashing his teeth for a second then walks away to finish his duties.

Realising what's the hour you run back to your dorm room, but something catches your eye. On a wall within the main building was a painting, which you never noticed before. Thinking it through you realise it must have just been hang since you are absolutely sure it wasn't here before. The painting, presented in brilliant colours and detail a scene where a huge wave of water covers what looks to be Japan. With a red torii in its right lower corner and there a medieval warrior with a golden shield and what looked like a ghost of a woman.

Struck by the beauty of the painting and how unusual it was you remain in the hallway for a few minutes only to hear a familiar voice.

"Sheesh! It's so hard finding you! Hanuman gasps wildly, he must have been running all over the place trying to find you.

"I'm sorry. I was just on my way back to my room and got sidetracked". You reply.

Hanuman just gesticulates at you silently, clutching his knees and trying to catch a breath. Then he produces three envelopes and waves them in front of your face.

"Those came for you just now..."

You take the envelopes from him, all of them came from the Roppongi guild.

"Listen, Hanuman don't you want to go with-" You start saying but when you lift your head to look at him he is already running away.

"Sorry gotta go!" You can't stop yourself from making a sour face.

It's a bit off to receive three different envelopes from them, but you have a feeling you know what they are.

The first one containing a card that's so heavily soaked with perfumes you started sneezing. It's from Lady Hakumen who praises you in a million different ways and invites you to join her in her private pavilion for the concerto.

The second envelope contained a card that's full to the brink with gold leaves and very elaborate writing. You must admit the way the words were written is quite beautiful. It's from Lucifuge who also invites you to his private pavilion and to enjoy his company.

Holding the third envelope you are absolutely sure whom it's from and you feel a small tingling sensation when you open it and take the card which says: My dear friend. Would you like to join me today evening for tea before the concerto? I'm looking forward to seeing you. Licht

You read a few times, surprised and immediately make a decision as you haven't seen or talked to the Roppongi guild master in a while and thought it would be a nice change. At the same time, you feel just a small amount of disappointment you haven't received a card from Ophion. Quickly shaking that thought off, your return to your room and change. Thinking on your feet about what to wear you decide to put on a light yukata haori with a white upper part and a black lower one, hoping it's going to be presentable for the concerto. It looks good you think and leave. Glad about your choice you head towards Roppongi. Because of how light your clothes feel the summer heat doesn't bother you much anymore, still, the air feels heavy this evening.

After a while, you reach the resort. Surprised you noticed Melusine.

"Hi, Melusine" you say approaching her.

"Good evening, young milord. I'm happy to see you." She bows slightly, so wearing a summer yukata in pastel colours.

"Did Licht send you to meet me?" You ask thinking you already know the answer.

"Indeed, Monsieur Licht asked me to show you to the pavilion and prepare tea for you." She answers and you start walking together slowly.

"That's very kind of him. We haven't spoken in a while, it will be so good to catch up. Is everything ok with you? "

Melusine seems a bit distracted and before she can answer a stranger runs up to you. She stops suddenly and immediately steps in front of you as if she is trying to protect you.

"Is it him! Is it the one everyone is talking?! Is it the one Mistress Hakumen mentioned? The one who's soul contains souls of others?!" Melusine stops him before he can even get near to you.

"I'm sorry but I won't allow such behaviour around young milord, he is a guest here and under my protection!" Her voice changes slightly, becoming less friendly, not yet threatening.

The man stops but there is an odd uncontrollable craze in the way he talks and moves.

"Melusine it's ok." You feel like you should help him if you can. "Can I do something for you?" You ask stepping forward, finally able to look in his face.

His crazy eyes search for something within your face for a few seconds and then... His whole body shrivels down, like life and all hope has left him.

"I... I... I'm sorry. I thought you may be her... I thought... I'm sorry." The man apologies in a shaking stream of words and leaves.

Melusine doesn't say a word and both of you resume your walk. When you get to the concerto venue you can see there is plenty of sitting space for everyone with a multitude of comfy pillows in from of a large stage and a few smaller ones. All this from three sides is enclosed by three private pavilions that let you hide from the public eyes but still enjoy the music and the atmosphere.

"Monsieur Licht had some guests earlier so do not be surprised by the decoration" Melusine adds softly as she opens the door for you and you stop in the doorway speechless. The pavilion it's filled to the brink with the most delicate orchid flowers in gentle pastel colours, their sweet fragrance seeping into the evening air. Like a child, you wander around with an obscene smile touching the flowers and smelling them.

"This is... This..." You start but Melusine finishes for you with a rare mysterious smile.

"This is amazing? Please have a seat-" she points at pillows and seats and a coffee table "I will bring the drink and... Monsieur Licht should be here shortly."

Before she disappears you ask.

"Melusine, that man we met, who was that?" There was something about him that felt familiar and made you sad.

She stops with a sad look on her face.

"That was Orpheus, he is one of the artists that's going to perform tonight. Beyond that, I can't say I know more." You thank her for this and Melusine leaves you alone. Yet within a few seconds you couldn't but get up to explore the room and the beautiful flowers and their shapes. You heard shushed voices thinking it must be Licht and returned to looking at the flowers. Some of them were small and looked like butterflies in dozens on a single spike, where others were easily the size of the palm of your hand with long pendulous garlands. They were just beautiful, and you struggled to find and other words to describe it. What Licht was thinking you had no idea, and what guest he had earlier but this went beyond your wildest dreams. And then you thought maybe, just maybe it was for Melusine knowing their history.

"My dearest, beloved jewel." That voice.

You turn around only to see Ophion standing in the entrance where Melusine disappeared. He was wearing a white and gold yukata that lightly enveloped his body, uncovering a lot of his imposing, muscular stature. His wings spread only slightly as he wanted to make sure you won't run away. "What do you think, my wonderful spouse? Has your husband surprised you? This is a beautiful, delicate trap I have prepared for you."

"I have walked straight into this one, haven't I" You agree defeated, it was never an option you thought about. You had to admit you felt flattered.

"Of course, my beloved, my light that fills the darkness. This young Ophion, although not as experienced in strategy or tactics as my elder self, has unprecedented knowledge of what may please your heart. And if I know, I will spend every moment to find out! Hahaha!" Ophion laughs triumphantly.

"I can't believe Licht would trick me..." You ponder amused.

"Oh, my darling flower, do not hold this against our Guild Master. I have merely asked him for a... favour, which he was happy to oblige. Because of this nobody shall interrupt us if we don't want it. My beloved, I planned this just for you, we have so very few moments together alone... " He opens his arms wide invitingly but behind him appears Melusine with a bow and quietly excusing herself.

"Ophion, sir. Please forgive me the intrusion, I have brought the requested refreshments."

Ophion only nods looking at her nonchalantly and let's her prepare the table, after that she retreats bowing slightly again and sending you a brief smile.

"I..." You start."The flowers are beautiful... I've never seen anything like this before." You add to him. You are embarrassed, especially that you let yourself get into a trap as beautiful like this. Especially when you feel really flattered and there is a lot of thoughts rampaging around your head.

Ophion laughs triumphantly "These are merely a shadow to your beauty my darling, but it warms my heart knowing you like this little trap I have made. Shall we rest?" He extends his hand to you. "Do not be afraid, we won't be interrupted by anyone. I made sure of that."

You sit down and offer to fill his glass with a cold juice which he accepts with a warm smile towards you. But you notice, not for the first time there is an odd flame in Ophion's eyes, and now it hits you, it's somehow similar to the one you saw in the man you met earlier, Orpheus.

"There was something strange that happened today." You start hesitantly. "A man approached me and Melusine, he seemed... Troubled... Very, troubled and sad. He wanted to meet me, he seemed desperate, having his hopes high up and once he did he seemed... Disappointed. Like he lost all hope."

Ophion listed in silence but you could see he wasn't too pleased yet you continued.

"Melusine said his name is Orpheus, and I was... Concerned. "

A few moments passed before the golden dragon finally responded.

"My beloved spouse, I know the man of whom you speak. He is a fool. A poor fool, but a fool nonetheless and there is nothing you can do for him. He brought his fate on him himself."

But not being too happy with such a puzzling answer you decided to push on being honest about what you realized.

"There is a look in your eyes, the Old Ophion was very similar to him." You say slowly trying to pick the gentlest of words. Ophion ponders for a moment with a stone expression and then extends his hand to you inviting to sit closer to him.

"My darling spouse, this what you speak of, is the experience of loss." You hesitantly accept the invitation and sit next to Ophion, feeling the warmth of his skin. "Let me tell you a story of Orpheus, the fool as he is."

"Orpheus was born with a talent of music he was and always will be a singer, musician and poet, carrying a magnificent lyre on his shoulder able to enchant god, man or beast with his music, he had recently proposed to Eurydice whom he loved with all of his heart and beyond, but on the day of their wedding, ‘in the very bloom of her life’, she was bitten by a viper and died of its venom. Distraught with such grief, Orpheus fell into madness and wandered the earth looking for a way to bring his wife back to life. He wondered day and night until he finally found the entrance into the underworld and descended into the fiery pits of hell itself, determined to restore her to mortality. Nothing could stop his brave loving heart. He finally pleaded with Hades the god of the dead and Persephone for his wife's return, and his courage, devotion and eloquence ‘melted the hearts of the gods and the denizens of the underworld, and all fell silent’. Even Cerberus, the fierce three-headed dog that guards the gates of Hell, lies meekly at Persephone's feet.

The gods agreed to Eurydice’s return: Persephone especially sympathetic as she recalled her own forceful abduction by Hades. The only requirement was that Orpheus would not glance back at Eurydice until she was safely ensconced in the upper world. If he broke his word, she would be lost forever into Hell and there would be no changing the god's mind this time.

Orpheus agreed with the loving lightness in his heart and both him and Eurydice depart the underworld, him in the front paving the way for them, she quietly behind him stepping softly. However, Orpheus as emotionally tormented he was through all this time, with the creeping madness slowly started doubting and struggling to look ahead soon the deities have consented to her return. Throughout the underworld, the lovers ascended a steep and misty path and, as they neared the earth’s rim, Eurydice hasn't spoken a word in fear of what the gods may make of it snd anxious Orpheus began to shake inside of his soul. "What if they lied to me and this is but a trick, a joke of the gods. What if this is not my beloved Eurydice but some monstrous wickedness." These were the thoughts in his head. His mind fought with his heart. And just as they approached the exit from the underworld, just as the morning light shone in front of them through the dark gate, the fool Orpheus looked behind thinking "We are almost here. It won't hurt and I must know. My heart must know! He looked for his bride, and as he did he saw her gentle face her loving lips and eyes filled with fear when their gaze met. Eurydice immediately fell in pain and only managed to whisper a final farewell before being taken by a deathly shadow that dragged her into to the dying place. A godly force punched Orpheus out of the underworld and the gates shut before him and disappeared. He cried, pleaded and begged but no one would listen to him and after many days and nights broken Orpheus began to wonder again the world playing his music, with a mind of madness and a heartbroken beyond repair. Somehow he found his way here to this world my beloved spouse, and he hopes, maybe, maybe his wife was reborn in a different form. " Ophion finished his story with half-closed eyes, being so engulfed in his voice you didn't even notice when the music started and it must have been playing for quite a while now. "There is something we share, your Ophion and the fool Orpheus, we both lost our beloved, forcibly taken away by the world. You have seen my elder self, who was beyond help with his heart darkened and madness in his mind. This is why my dearest, my glittering jewel, I promised to gift you my love, my passion, with my whole self every day. This Ophion has finally found you!"

He finishes with a strange note in his voice. You think you finally understand, both what Orpheus and Ophion went through, it's different yet so similar. Remembering how much it took for the elder Ophion to snap out of his destructive madness. What loneliness and sorrow must have driven him to such a state. Looking for words to say you realise that through the story Ophion was slowly using the fact you were so enthralled into his tale to get closer to you. Both his large hand and wing were wrapped around you as he was laying on his side stretched across the floor with your body naturally using him as back support. He was surprisingly gentle.

"They say we are all fools when we are in love." You say finally.

Ophion laughs delighted, his ego right now must be beaming knowing he has you where he wanted, and willing to accept his advances.

"Indeed my beloved spouse, indeed we are. But let this golden dragon tell you who knows many stories, in my millennia-long life I learned it's what you do every day about your love that matters."

You then thought to yourself well what if you are a bit of a child and a coward. Fighting is definitely easier than talking about one's feeling, even Shiro's knowledge tests are easier than... Ok just breathe. You look around the pavilion, the sun slowly setting down painted the inside in crimson and amber shades. Shades elongated everywhere and within them Ophion's burning eyes and the music in the air.

"My darling starlight, beloved spouse, you are so beautiful today, this husband of yours cannot take his eyes off you. Had I known it would be so easy to capture you in this beautiful trap of my devotion I would have done it a long time ago. "Ophion says caressing your shoulder with his arm.

"I wasn't expecting tonight to be like this, you are correct, but everything else after was because I wanted it to happen..." You say turning your head away, but Ophion's lures your gaze back at him by placing his fingers along your chin.

"Is that so, my beloved spouse? Has this husband of yours made you happy?" His voice lowers to a grumble.

"I can't confirm or deny because I'm worried you may want to tell everyone gathered here." You tease lightly.

"Bwahahahaha" Ophion laughs amused. "My beloved, always so feisty, always know how to keep your husband on your toes. How you turn my words against me my jewel in a delightful skirmish."

You close your eyes with an amused smile, having to admit this evening had turned so much better than you could have ever expected.

"Could you tell me another story? Something about heroes, or how the stars were created." You ask, Ophion seems to have a talent for telling captivating tales, or maybe it's because he tells them to you. The golden dragon smiles mysteriously sticking his tongue out.

"Ah, my beloved spouse, you want another story? But where is there a reward for your dearest husband? I have gifted you one tale of the past already. This dearest Ophion of yours should ask for something in return. All stories are of value." He says still smiling mischievously. But before he can make his loving demands you stop him.

"What about if... Umm... If I move closer." You say trying to move your body but Ophion's arm already pulls you towards him.

"Closer you say, my beloved? I'm not sure if this husband of yours can accept such a payment" He murmurs amused.

"Closer..." You reply with a laugh feeling his arm move you further.

"Perhaps... This Ophion can agree to such a delightful agreement, but I'm not..." He continues pressing on your arm, you can feel the pillow you are sitting on moving.

"Just shut up and embrace me" You laugh finally in response and with these words you can feel his huge figure move suddenly, his large strong arms find their way under your own wrapping themselves around your chest. You are glad for your light clothes because of the heat emanating from his body, feeling the stone-hard musculature touch your back.

"This Ophion has finally captured the most beautiful pray in his delightful trap." He says into your ears.

"A pray would only allow such a thing if they wanted to be caught." You answer him with a strongly beating heart, feeling that Ophion will not let you go that easily tonight.

"My beloved spouse, you... You... hahaha I have fallen in my own trap! You make this Ophion's heart so happy, I can feel my body trembling." There was a shiver that travelled across his arms as he spoke, his words rumbling in your ears. "I shall grant your request, my beloved, my jewel in the skies, let me tell you a story of a war between two cities and a woman who caused it all..." As he spoke his voice mixed with the music in the air that evening.

You slept well this night after you returned from the event. Ophion purposely extended his story almost making you late for the school curfew. But you didn't mind at all.

This night you experience a dream, very different from the calm ones you seemed to have. Before you would see beautiful, serene scenery, hear a piece of gentle music that you taught yourself to replicate and a gentle song. What you remember most was a pair of gentle amber-red eyes following your every move.

This nights dream was different. You found yourself on a beach overlooking a vast dark ocean covered in thick clouds. A bright fiery light cut through these lights like and hit the ocean like a projectile of fire only to vanish under the waves momentarily. The clouds opened only for a second for you to see a tall mountain. Everything started to shake, the ground moving violently and suddenly the mountain top exploded ravaged by bright, angry flames sending massive pieces of rock everywhere. As you cover your eyes and duck you see a tremendous, angry wave approaches the coast growing bigger and bigger. The ground doesn't stop shaking.

You wake up suddenly only to realize the shaking hasn't stopped and an alarm is resonating through the school. Slightly panicked you look around, furniture creaking and moving. Right now you should be making sure you were looking for cover and sticking to the disaster prevention and Safety protocol, but instead struggling to keep your balance you throw on your clothes and run out to make sure your friends are safe.

Not long after you see Kengo and Moritaka half crouched trying to hold their balance.

"Kengo! Moritaka! You are ok!" You shout running towards them

"You idiot! What are you doing here? It's dangerous!"

"Indeed my friend, you should not be exposing yourself to any dangers like that. Earthquakes are not something we can control with sacred artefacts."

"Oh? And I thought you just bashed Kengo's head hard enough the ground started shaking." Suddenly you hear Shiro, he was walking slowly toward you. "You shouldn't be looking for trouble in a situation like this!" He adds angrily.

"Same goes to you!" You respond quickly.

"It's my duty to make sure everyone is safe!" Shiro huffs unimpressed.

"I have to make sure my friends are safe. Where is Ryota? Did you see Hanuman?" You flash a challenging grin towards Shiro. His frow disappears hearing your words replaced by embarrassment.

"Ryota stayed over at the Aoyama yesterday, he called me asking for permission. "

"Hanuman was in training with us but left earlier, he said he was starving. I'm sure he will be fine..." Moritaka responded to your questions and halfway through the shaking eased down and stopped. Everyone was waiting in silence but the quake didn't return.

"Mr Jin there they are" You recognised Toji's voice.

"My students! My beloved students are you alright?! Is everyone safe".

"I'm so glad we found you!" Hanuman jumps all over the place happy as you slowly get up, lending your hand to Kengo, who is unimaginably heavy.

"You really need to cut down on chocolate." You say after he is up.

"Oi! Cut it out. It train really hard!" He protests with a fake anger outburst.

"Hey, why is everyone here," Toji asks. "Hanuman only said about Kengo and Moritaka, not you two."

"I had to make sure my friends are alright. Shiro did the same."

"I'm so glad you all are safe!" Mr Jin laughed and suddenly stopped. "What did you say?! You were ignoring the obvious dangerous situation?! "His angry roar could be heard from everywhere and it attracted the attention of Mr Mononobe who together with the other teachers was making sure everyone is ok and there is no structural damage to the school.

"Mr Jin, what is this shouting? Are the students alright?" Mr Mononobe was walking very with a serious face. He must have been incredibly worried and stressed.

"No, no, no Mr Mononobe. All of our beloved students are fine, except these two who blatantly ignored the crisis of the situation." Mr Jin talks very fast giving both you and Shiro an unpleasant, angry look.

"How do? What have they done." Mr Mononobe forces himself to be calm narrowing his eyes at both of you. Shiro's face went pale but you decided to take the blame even if there was nothing wrong about what you have done.

"Mr Jin, Mr Mononobe. We have only left the safety of our rooms to make sure our friends and anyone who may be in trouble is safe." You straighten up without letting the teacher speak. Mr Jin huff loudly surprised.

Mr Mononobe considers his words for a few seconds, his frow eases down.

"What if you helping others would put you in direct danger? Have you thought about that?" He asks you.

"It won't matter as long as we can help them." Shiro jumps in the conversation.

"That's right." You agree.

Mr Mononobe closes his eyes and nods slowly.

"It's ok Mr Jin, those kids have their heads and hearts in the right place. Now stop standing around and go help! "

Quickly the whole gang scatters around the school to help the teachers and other students. Your whole morning passes in a new busy routine, checking the news and listening to your elders to make sure everything is going to be fine. The earthquake was classified as an isolated tremor that came from the land, with no predicted aftershocks. The city didn't experience any problems or damage except some broken furniture and unfortunate accidents that were treated in the hospital right now. It seems everything was back to normal.

Having the chance to relax you pick up the projector from the inventory and send Melusine a polite message asking her for a favour explaining you would need something transported to Ophion tower, small personal items. Only if she wouldn't mind. Shortly after Melusine answers, she would be happy to help and she will meet you shortly at the school.

Gathering your thoughts you return to your room. You look at a guitar that stands hidden in the corner. So far you managed to keep it away from your friends, especially Kengo, as you were worried he would break it by just touching it with his large, clumsy hands.

When the dreams started, the memory a few weeks back you could hear a melody. Initially, it was all scrambled up, just like everything was in reverse or through a badly adjusted radio. You couldn't make sense of anything. But then you started concentrating on one thing, the melody and each time it was clearer and clearer. Then one day, on a whim perhaps you thought, this melody shouldn't be hard to replicate, and being able to play it yourself could help with understanding the memory.

Thus you found a music shop, that stored all kinds of instruments, from drum and percussion kits to electric guitars and pianos. A very slim transient feline covered with many colourful patches of fur welcomed you very enthusiastically. She introduced herself as Saraswati and proceeded to praise all of the instruments and types of music.

Her welcome filled you with warmth and confidence, so you proceeded to explain, however badly, you wanted to learn how to play a melody from your memory. Saraswati was perplexed by your explanation but it made her curious so she kept asking questions, what instrument.

"AHH... I'm sorry... It was ancient-looking. I know how it looks but I don't know the name."

"How did you learn that melody in the first place?" Saraswati asks curiously.

"Most kids come in here wanting to become the next great idol, play the cool thing. Very few come because they love music, even fewer want to learn to play the piano or a violin. Sad times are upon us. I know all instruments, maybe if you draw it for me I'll be able to guess." She gives you something to draw on.

You agree and take a pencil from her. The lines you draw are a bit shaky and in the end, you present an image of u shaped instrument that reminds you of a horseshoe with strings in the centre of it going to the crossbar connecting both arms.

Saraswati studies it for a few seconds and then presents you with a smile. "That's a lyre. It's an instrument used in ancient times. You can say it's similar to a harpe but the rules of its music are more like a modern guitar."

"A lyre? Oh, that would make sense." You think about your dreams.

"Would it? Why so?"

"I saw this instrument in a dream that I think maybe a memory. But it's only a guess."

"Well, the only problem is I don't have a Lyra in stock. So sorry. On fact, it would be hard to get one anyway. These types of instruments are done per request and are quite pricey. Then you would need to attend a special lesson... Oh, trust me you don't want that!" She chuckled softly. "But... I have an idea".

Saraswati adds seeing your disappointment and pushes you into the depts of the shop.

"As I said the modern guitar operates on a very similar principle as the lyre. If you look and listen carefully you may even find one that sounds almost identical." She winks at you mysteriously.

"None of them is secretly sacred artefacts are they?" You joke nervously.

"Ahahaha oh no! Can you imagine what problems that would cause? Oh no, I can't have that in my shop! I put too much heart into it!"

Following Saraswati advice, you slowly look through all of the guitar instruments. There are electric ones in futuristic shapes or ones that resemble those you saw musicians holding on posters, then there are large guitars called acoustic but their sound just doesn't sit ok with your ear. Lastly, you glance on smaller, simpler guitars called classical one, their soft strings produce a warm melody very similar to that from your dreams.

And then you see the prices of these and your heart sinks while the jaw levitates very close to the floor. You have some money you managed to save up recently but not nearly enough to afford even the cheapest of those instruments.

Well, this plan will have to be put on hold for now you think and then unexpectedly something draws your eyes. You just noticed a boxed display with a Sale label on it. Within it you see all sorts of instruments, some are ex-display models, some seemed slightly damaged. In this box you find a single classical guitar, there was absolutely nothing wrong with it except one string being broken. You have just enough money to buy it.

"What's wrong with this guitar?" You ask Saraswati, the feline takes the instrument from your hands to inspect it.

It's a beautiful light guitar, painted in a very dark blue colour that reminds you of the night sky with silver nylon strings.

"There is nothing wrong with it deary, except the broken string. I can thread one for you for free, it will take me just a minute."

"Why was it in the sales box?" You ask curiously.

"It's the colour you see. Very few people would buy a guitar that's not in a light colour like brown or cream. If they are lacquered then maybe but this beautiful thing is in matt."

You admit you are completely lost and ask if you could buy it.

"Of course you can. Let me put on a new string, you know what because you are my first customer today why don't I present you with a guitar case and a book how to play it, yes?"

Saraswati is so kind and nice there is no way you can refuse her. And from that day each free moment, you found you spent on learning how to play the instrument, learning how to replay the sounds from the dreams. Initially, it was hard, your fingers hurt but each time seemed a bit easier. Then the dreams slowly became clearer, and the melody guided you. With the melody came words and suddenly you saw a familiar face with burning dark amber red eyes. Then you realized it wasn't any memory or dream, it was something from Ophion's past.

"Now I know what you were doing all this time when you weren't with us! Are you planning to become a musician, Guild Master?" Shiro's voice interrupted your chain of thoughts as you were sitting on your bed plucking the strings lovingly. Your heart sank and you face immediately felt flushed. Shiro laughed hard seeing your expression. "Don't be concerned, I'm not going to tell the others unless you want me to!"

"Don't you know how to knock?!" You cry out embarrassed.

"You left the door crack open."

"Ah-! I'm... I'm sorry I have been distracted recently." You reply slowly feeling guilty.

"I have noticed that's why I came to talk to you. Your head seems in the clouds, you drift away more often than usual. Is everything alright?"

You scan Shiro's face and measure your words not to say too much and you tell him about the memory and then your last dream with the earthquake.

Shiro almost jumps excited but there is some concern I'm his voice too. "Having a memory recall like that is fantastic! It means something in you is unlocking its secrets even if just a small bit. Do you know who’s memory it is?"

"Y-yes..." You stutter.

"I'm guessing you don't want to share it ?"

You silently turn your head.

"No... Not yet at least. And then there is a matter of the last dream."

"Hmpf... I wouldn't worry too much now. I would think your dreams were merely the effect of the earthquake. Like when you hear a sound while you dream and your brain incorporates it into the dream itself. "

"How do you know things like that?"

"I pay attention in class compared to you and Kengo! That reminds me. Melusine is looking for you." Shiro replies and readies to leave only to turn around. "Remember if there is anything, you can tell us right?"

You nod with a smile.

"Thanks" and Shiro disappears behind the door. Taking a deep breath you put the guitar into a case and pack the projector into a separate box. With both of them, you direct yourself to the school entrance where Melusine is waiting patiently.

"Hi, Melusine!" You greet her from afar, as you get closer you notice her usual outfit has been decorated in many places with garlands of familiar flowers.

"Hello young Milord, I hope you are well? I must take this chance and ask for forgiveness after yesterday. I was only following Monsieur Licht's request who specifically requested not to mention at any point Sir Ophion will be joining you."

"It's ok Melusine." You interrupt her. "It turned out better than I hoped. I... I thought it was Licht's gift to you. "

"Ah-!" Melusine blushes "That would be impossible. But Sir Ophion made a great deal of effort to get everything prepared. Nobody except humble myself and Monsieur Licht knew about his plan. He must care about you very much young Milord. In fact... I don't ever remember him carrying about anything and anyone in the past as his older self. You seem to cause impossible change whenever you go." She added with a hint of a smile.

"What's with these?" You ask about the flowers.

"Oh, forgive me, Milord. Monsieur Licht said I can keep any flowers I want before they get removed so I kept a few of them."

" And you keep saying some things are impossible. They look beautiful on you. Send my kindest regards to Licht when you see him, and thank you so much for your help. Hopefully, I can repay it somehow one day. Oh, by the way, one more thing. Is there any way through the building I can take to avoid meeting literary everyone?"

Melusine takes the boxes from you and slowly explains a route that should help you pass unnoticed, then leaves with a mysterious half-smile as she was deep in thought about what you said earlier.

The weather outdoors is still sunny and pleasant giving you some hope you won’t need the projector and nature will provide the best possible scenery. Does Ophion have a balcony you think only to chase those weird questions away and return to your room to get dressed and leave.

As you leave the dormitory and leave the school building a heavy hand lands on your shoulder unexpectedly.

“Hey-ho partner! Where are you going? Don’t you want to join us for some combat training?” Kengo stops you mid-track, his hand is firmly stuck on your shoulder and you can’t wriggle out from under his tight grip. The grin you see means he is up to no good again.

“Heyy! Actually, let’s get some snacks. We feel like we didn’t have the time to talk recently and I’m curious how the concerto was. Kengo said you got back really late yesterday?” Ryota is just next to him smiling innocently holding a bag of what looks like different colourful candies and crisps.

“Did he now?! And why are you here not at your room doing your penalty studies?!” Suddenly Shiro’s voice pierces the air loudly.

Kengo’s face goes pale.

“Oh crap! Sorry partner gotta run! Catch you later yes? I want the juicy details!”

“Me too!” Ryota tries to catch up with Kengo who left a trail of dust behind him.

You raise your thumb up to Shiro and wave. You can see him smile at you and then you get a message on the App.

“Stay out of trouble, OK?”

“I will.” You reply and press send. As you arrive at the Ophion tower with plenty of time to spare and make your way to the security reception.

“Hi, I’m here to see Ophion. He… is expecting me.” You say nervously.

A completely uninterested transient measures you for a second and then lets you in. “Yes, we have been told.” With relief, you direct your steps following the route Melusine told you which is the executive walkway that is almost always empty and takes an elevator. In your mind surprise visit would be out of place, especially since Ophion is not any man and may be occupied. The corridors around are lavishly decorated and you feel slightly out of place. But finally, the elevator arrives and you step into it.

Pondering why there is always a piece of weird music whenever you go to the office buildings a slight shake resonates around you. Unsure if it was just your imagination or something else you squeeze yourself into the corner. Another floor beeped before your eyes, and as you were counting down, only three more to go, everything starts shaking around you. Whatever is happening knocks you off your feet and you land painfully on the floor. At the same time, the elevator slows down and stops. The lights around you suddenly go out and you hear and electricity creek followed by a metal one. Suddenly there is an empty feeling in your stomach and you painfully drop on the floor again. Panicking you somehow roll to the corner. The elevator must have dropped down but the safety break kicked in just in time. For what feels like an eternity you are in total darkness, unable to understand what’s going on, absolutely scared. And then blue safety lights turn on. Still scared you slowly climb up and try to use the help alarm button on the console and call for help. But there is no reply from anyone. So you try and press every floor button hoping you will be able to get out this way. And then the shaking starts again and instantly you cover in the corner hearing the elevator creek dangerously. It’s a situation your powers won’t do you any good and it feels like you stopped between floors too. You try the help button again. Nothing. You try again. The elevator creeks dangerously again and you start praying to anyone and anything for it to hold and the shaking to stop. Not sure but you think you hear an alarm and screams in the background. With what feels like the worst shake so far everything feels like liquid around you. Suddenly you hear a metal creek just a meter above you and the light blind you. For a moment you flicker your eyes looking at a huge silhouette before you. In the elevator door using all of his might is no other than Ophion covered in dust and grime.

“My beloved give me your hand!” He extends it to you and you gladly take it. Ophion who is extremely strong being an eternal dragon god lifts you out the elevator without any problem. Once you are out and on your own legs you embrace him as hard as you can. That was a horrible and scary experience. “I’m here, I’m here my beloved flower, and nothing is going to hurt you anymore.” He is completely surprised by your reaction and accepts the embrace without hesitation.

“I’m… I’m ok, thanks to you. What happened?” You ask.

“My beloved, we experienced consecutive shock waves. Much, much stronger than these before. Alarms are going through the whole city of Tokyo as we speak. You should thank Aizen here as he was the one who heard plead for help through the elevator device.”

Surprised you thank Aizen, who for once doesn’t look angry. He remains quiet and nods in response. Then you look back at Ophion.

“Are you ok?” You suddenly notice a scrape on his arm. There is no blood but still.

“Oh, my beloved you worry about me? My heart is touched beyond imagination.” He says still embracing you. “I am fine, it was just a few ceiling panels that fell on me. Nothing that can hurt this godly dragon. “

“Ophion, sir! Are you sure you are unhurt? Maybe we should finish this little scene and get into safety!” And the old Aizen is back, however his expression remained unchanged. Once he said that a group of security mobs appeared running toward them.

“Sir! We found you! It’s good you are unharmed sir! We have news!”

Ophion reluctantly lets you go, but won’t let you move away from the reach of his hands or wings.

“Report! What’s the situation? Are you evacuating the civilians? Are there any injuries? Where are the other tycoons?”

“Sir we have been informed by the security forces this was no ordinary shock, but it was caused by the world collision.” One of the mobsters has pointed at the windows. To your surprise, the Tokyo border wall from the harbour was gone stretching to an open sea covered with angry clouds. It wasn’t destroyed in the quake no, it just vanished due to the collision event.

“Where was the source of the earthquake located?” You open your mouth asking loudly. Your mind went straight into the geography lessons and then something else entirely.

“What?” The mobster asked stupidly.

“What the earthquake on land or at sea?” You repeat.

“My beloved, what are you thinking?” Ophion asked.

“If this world collision has temporarily exposed us to an open sea and there was an earthquake which happened at sea everyone in Tokyo is in grave danger. “

Aizen was the first one to get what you were saying.

“Tsunami! The god wave! If the harbour wall is gone the wave will flood the whole city, bottling up because of the border wall!” He turned pale as paper.

“We need to send a message to everyone who has the app! Tell them to go to higher ground!”

Suddenly Tsathoggua appeared from nowhere holding Melusine, breathing heavily.

“Oh, you are ok! Melusine said you were in the building. I was right to think…” He had to stop to breathe. ”I’m not getting any better at this.. huff.. huff.. I was right to think you will be where Ophion is.”

“I'm extremely sorry if my guidance has caused you any trouble young milord.”

“It’s Ok Melusine, you couldn’t have known something like this would happen.”

“Shut up everyone!” Aizen roared. “We need to warn everyone”

“What about the non-app users?” You ask immediately. “We can’t just hope they will be alright. We need to do something.”

“How much time do we have?” Tsathoggua asks still breathing heavily. You look at the long line of windows and with a shiver see a dark shadow on the horizon.

“We don’t have much. Look.” You say pointing at what you saw unconsciously squeezing your sword. Your sword. Then something hits you. A shiver travelled from the top of your head down to your toes. Something you saw earlier, something somebody told you earlier, something you have heard before. The music you have been hearing, It had words and until now you couldn’t understand them. These words were “In the day’s to come my darling, I shall love you, my child, I shall protect you with the power of my ethereal shield of light.” Feeling a warmth come from your sword you now understand those weren’t just idle lyrics. It was the words of a rule of a secret artefact. One of the 24 pieces of what was embedded in your sword. And the scene from your dreams was almost identical, but there is no falling star and an exploding mountain. But the wave remains. And it’s coming fast.

“Are you ok young friend?” Tsotsung pulls your sleeve, it seems everyone is looking at you. “You switched off suddenly.”

“My beloved, we need to get into the shelter.” Ophion insists.

“No.”

“No?” He is troubled and confused. “But my jewel-“ You interrupt him.

“I need to get to the harbour. I think I can stop the wave... I’m not sure how yet but if this is a collision event and it’s somehow connected with an error within the app once this is over everything should go back to normal, yes? I had dreams and in one for them, this was exactly what I saw.”

“Those are just wild speculations! Where are those idiotic ideas coming from?! There are innocent lives at stake and you are trying to play a stupid hero! How incredibly childish of you, I couldn’t expect anything else.” Aizen snarled at your words.

“Aizen leave now!” Ophion almost hit the man in anger.

“Tell us what do you want to do.” Melusine insisted, together her and Tsathoggua expressed will to help.

“Since I know you, your plans and crazy ideas never failed. I trust you friend. I will take you to the harbour.” Tsotsunga said putting on a brave face.

“No! My beloved, my jewel, my darling spouse. I want to help you. I will take you to the harbour, but you must tell me about your plan. We don’t have much time. The wave is almost upon the city!” Ophion stepped in front of you showing all of his protective nature, almost as if hearing others offer help before he instigated a change of mind. Maybe he felt less worthy.

“My sword contains the shard of another sacred relic which was the Etheral Shield of Light its rule was Protection against all. Or so I think… ” Ophion’s eyes grew wider as he listened to your words astounded. “I have a memory that’s been following me for weeks now. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. It’s like something within me knew such an event may happen!”

“My flower! My love!” Ophion was trembling. “You must tell me everything once this is over. Let us haste to the harbour. I will be with you and be behind you at every step.”

You nod silently.

“Let everyone know to find shelter above ground. Tsathoggua please try and reach Mr Triton and others who have any degree of command over water if they can help.”

“On it” Tsathoggua vanished within a split second. At the same moment, you felt a strong arm wrap around you tightly and suddenly you were in the air. Ophion flew out of the terrace next to where you were, taking you with him.

“My beloved, why have you not told me sooner? Why keep this as a secret! My heart is trembling knowing there is even a minute piece of you that feels what I feel toward you!”

“Ophion, We are flying-!” you gasp shocked by the sensation.

“Don’t you like it, my love? There was no other way to get us to the harbour fast enough.”

“If it wasn’t for the circumstances I probably would enjoy it, but I wasn’t ready! Next time ask!”

“I'm sorry my darling, my fiery flower, my spouse. But you haven’t answered my question. Whatever happens, I want to know.”

You fall silent for a moment trying to gather words for an answer.

“I... I wanted to know if it was really me or just the memory. And then when the accident in the TSA happened and Seth’s shadow transported us to a real desert where we spent days wandering, each night I would look at the sky looking for the Dragon constellation… and think about the melody. And each night I would think that although I barely know you, I would miss you even if I never met you.”

“Ooh... Ooh...!” Ophion the Golden Dragon was trembling so much you could feel the hands holding you shaking. “This trembling feeling within my soul is equal to Heaven and Earth's creation itself. Those words! It filled the loneliness in this weary heart that has grown for millennia within seconds! My beloved! You cannot imagine how happy I am right now. But first, let’s save this diamond of a city from disaster. “ Your journey through the skies didn’t last long and you set foot in the harbour, that was already full of people and transients. Each one of them in a line trying to control the incoming wall of water.

“Thank gods you are safe!” You hear Shiro’s voice, behind him is Kengo and Ryota. All running towards you.

“What are you all doing here?! It's dangerous!” You shout at them as you set your feet at the ground.

“Well partner that’s not how you should be welcoming your friends!” Kengo measures Ophion with a cold look. “Looks like you had an interesting way of getting here!”

“Ophion sir! Thank you for helping our friend and bringing him here!” Shiro slurs out to Ophion.

“How did you get here? Where is Tsatsunga? Is he OK?”

Ryota gesticulates at a tall building nearby. “He collapsed exhausted after transporting dozens here. Moritaka is with him right now. Shiro used his powers to get us and Mr. Triton here the minute we got the message.”

“Shiro! Are you ok after that?” You ask your friend who seems paler than usual.

“Yes, yes I am fine. I had a minor nose bleed but it stopped now.” He answers avoiding your stare. “I’m not sure what can we accomplish. A Tsunami is a force of nature, us app users and other Transient don’t seem to have any chance to stop it. This is going to be a massacre!” He keeps trying to rationalize.

“My sword contains a shard of another sacred relic, the Etheral Shield of Light its rule was Protection against all. I know it is going to work.”

“How do you know what? Is it something to do with that memory you said you kept having?” Shiro asked looking at you and then at the approaching wall of water. It was getting nearer and nearer and it didn’t look like the united forces of water relics were doing anything beyond slowing It down.

“Come on kids! Put your back into it! We have a whole city counting on us!” Mr Triton was shouting louder and louder.

You turn around to Ophion. “Can you protect the civilians and anyone who may get into the harm's way?”

“My darling love, Of course! Whatever your plan you need to be ready. I will help as much as I can. I shall call upon my children to be ready to lift anyone into the skies to protect them from the flood wave.” And he has done as he said lifting his sacred relic into the skies, and with a blast of light, dozens of wyverns filled the skies ready.

The tsunami wave was incoming faster now, filling the whole horizon, the sky darkened angrily. This must-have happened somewhere you think, at some time in the history. You think about that picture you saw.

“Shiro, I saw a painting of a tsunami wave, and there were a man and a ghost of a woman that was trying to stop it. What is the story of that painting.” You ask bracing yourself.

Shiro is quite stunned after you tell him this.

“You are talking about The Great Wave off Kanagawa, but there is no man or woman in that painting.”

“Great, so either I’m hallucinating or something else is happening.”

“What if the collision of the worlds started happening much earlier than we thought, and what you saw had something to do with it.”

“I’m thinking my resurfacing memory has something to do with the tsunami.”

Shiro nodded eagerly.

“Don’t you remember? It happened before that you remembered a forgotten part of your powers before during different events.”

“But this is different, this started happening weeks ago.” You say to him.

“Whatever happens Partner, we are here to help you. We will always have your back.” Kengo adds. “Let’s see what my fists can do against a wall of water.”

“I will be with you my friends, even if you take me to the scariest places in all of the 23 worlds.” Ryota yelps quietly. He is scared and shaking yet still with you.

“Oh, gods it’s coming!” Somebody shouted! Screams started getting louder, some transients panicked and run and Mr Triton started having issues controlling the speed of the incoming wave. You could feel an unearthly rumble as the wall of water was before you.

You felt ready. You were ready, you had to be.

”Role of Wanderer, Rule of Rending! Engrave mine name onto thee Come out, Boundless Tail!!”

But nothing happened. Nothing at all. Your swords shone its normal light, but there was nothing your power could affect.

“No, no! This is not right! I know I can do something!”

Ophion lay his hand on your shoulder. “We must go now, my love!”

“No! I know I can help! I just… The song! The words were: In the day’s to come my darling, I shall love you, my child, I shall protect you with the power of my ethereal shield of light.” You panic seeing the wave almost upon on you, glancing over everyone.

Ophion gives away an odd laugh that seems so out of place right now.

“My dearest, you are calling upon the wrong artefact! You must call upon the rule of protection! With the memory this strong it means it has a power of its own over your sacred artefact.”

You turn back to the wave in fear.

“Role of the guardian, Rule of protection! Engrave my name unto thee! Come forth Ethereal shield of light!” But still, nothing happens.

But you don’t give up concentrating even more with your eyes closed. “ Rule of protection! Engrave my name unto thee! Come forth Ethereal shield of light!” There is still nothing.

Feeling the water droplets on your hair and screams around you shout again one last time. “ Role of the guardian, Rule of protection! Engrave my name unto thee! Come forth Ethereal shield of light!” Suddenly a force so powerful hits your body as something has torn the flesh out of your bones. The wall of light emanating out of your swords is so bright you can’t even physically keep your eyes open as and the vibration of the blade is almost breaking the bones in your hand. But you hold it tight as a wall extends in every direction. You know it’s the shield of light, the same one the goddess Euronome used to protect her children during the war of gods, the same she used on Olympos to protect those innocent around her dragged into the war of Titans. You feel your body strength failing and drop on one knee feeling tremendous pain. But there is a dozen of hands suddenly holding your back keeping you from falling. You hear so many voices, calling upon so many rules. You hear Mr Triton calling his rule, you hear Ophion shouting out commands to the Wyverns at the ready to help in an evacuation, You hear Ryota providing healing to others and yourself.

“You can do it, my child. Hold on just a little longer!” Somebody, a woman whispers to your ear. You will try as much as you can, but there is blood going down your nose. The force you are against may just kill you. But you don’t care hearing the words of Mr Mononobe in your head over and over intertwined with the song. “Prove yourself that you are not just a hero in the App. Prove you can defend those innocent from forces far greater than any battle.” With your hands in so much pain, you don’t know if you will be ever able to move your fingers again, with no sounds coming to you because you think your eardrums exploded and the blood is dripping down your neck the strength of your body finally fails you and collapse into darkness.

In your dreams, you hear and see many things, and the beautiful watercolour world around you dances gently and suddenly a slender figure emerges from the kaleidoscope of colours.

“Well done my child, you have done it. I’m so proud of you.” The woman speaks to you, her voice feels like it is coming from far away.

“Are you-?” You ask without words spoken.

“I am. Or I may be, or I may be just the figment of your imagination. After all, you exhausted your frail body greatly.” She responds with a crystal laugh.

“I thought you would be…” You start but she stops you.

“A dragon? Like my husband? Ahahaha… We were born beyond such boundaries, unconcerned by shape.”

“You are strong for one who has such a great burden on them. I only hope you are strong enough for all the challenges awaiting you. “ She continues. “ As for what is perplexing you, it’s not the memory of me that’s keeping your mind confused, it never was.”

“Am I falling for a god then?” You ask, although unsure if you did but the words resonate anyway. Realizing you won’t have any secrets here.

“Haha-!” The woman laughs warm. “And what if yes? What burdens does it bring to you?”

“Ophion is a bit much. He is a god, a godly dragon… and…”

“And what of it my child? Give yourself and him a chance. Remember he is the father of all in our world, and his golden heart is pure, and his love eternal. Yes, he has spent millennia without a force to restrain his fatherly ego, and in loneliness. Such things would poison any mind. What you witnessed, in your last dream was the moment of my fall… and the moment his heart broke… “ She added sadly. “I am sorry this somehow has influenced your world.”

“It’s time for you to wake up my child. Beware thou, the Rule of the Guardian is not one to be taken lightly as it is a burden that will exhaust your body beyond the boundaries of this peculiar prison everyone is tied to.”

“Can I ask you-!” You suddenly try to find where the voice is coming as the woman seems to have disappeared. Only to approach you from behind and whisper to your ear “Wake up”.

You were in a hospital room, your head still dizzy and the sounds coming to you weren’t completely normal. “So everything truly happened.” You lift a hurting hand trying to reach to your ear but it is still painful. So that’s how physical pain feels like compared to a memory of it from the app. Then you notice Ophion on a large chair next to you. How odd it looks having him here, his large frame bigger than any human, sleeping so peacefully. He must have taken a nap while being here. And then he gave out a gentle snore making you laugh quietly to yourself. It didn’t take him long to wake up and yawn revealing a mouth full of sharp teeth.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” You greet him with a smile.

“My beloved! Forgive me, with so much going on I didn’t have the time to sleep at all.” He looked at you with his dark ember red eyes.

“How long has it been?”

“You slept for almost three days my jewel. How are you feeling? The healers here said your body needs rest. It was hard to explain to them what exactly ailed you since the App injuries seem to be beyond the comprehension of your medicine.”

“My head is still tired, and my body aches but I’m better. So… we have done it. The city is safe?” You ask with a weary voice.

Ophion shifts on his chair leaning towards you.

“Yes my darling spouse, everything is back to normal. It seems your conclusion was correct, my beloved, and after the wave of water was stopped the glitch in the app caused by the world collision cleared itself out. With one exception. World collisions don’t function as app battles, and some physical damage caused by the quake remained, but nobody was hurt.”

“I'm so happy everyone is ok.” You let out the words with relief.

“Yes, yes, my wonderful flower. My children scouted the city to help while you were resting. Your friends will be here shortly I assume. But before that, I need to tell you, my love, no, I need to ask you to promise me not to do anything like that ever again! It was brave but foolish! I, your husband will sacrifice my body for you If I have to! You should never endanger yourself! Not in this frail form! I could not bear losing you again! My beloved, you must promise me! If you won’t I will have to come up with a plan to perhaps enslave you temporarily whenever danger is near to stop you from running toward it.” Ophion is back being himself, with his voice booming across the room.

“You want to enslave me to stop me from getting hurt?”

“In the most comfortable of ways my love!” He adds quickly.

“You know you snore? I’m going to tell everyone if you even think about locking me up somewhere!” You tease him.

“My darling spouse you wouldn’t-!”

And you just thought you have a secret weapon flashing a cheeky smile at him.

You found yourself staring at the elevator door at the Ophion Tower waiting for it to arrive. It’s been a few days now since the event and you are back on your feet. Of course, this goes without saying you got into trouble at school which Mr Mononobe was willing to turn a blind eye as long as you attend a few extracurricular lessons with him to make sure you caught up with all of the lessons you missed. But this Friday evening you were only thinking to yourself “I just hope I'm not going to embarrass myself”. The weather outside has taken a dramatic turn with a heavy downpour forcing you to rethink your plans. The elevator doors finally open, still with a bit of a fright after the last time you enter and purposely press the floor just below your destination. Closing your eyes for a few seconds you await the familiar sound and yes, you are here. As the door opens you exit with relief with. It was Melusine who told you to skip a floor, claiming you may walk into Aizen. She was right, as you approached the staircase you hear a loud marching noise and a very annoyed monologue.

“I can’t believe my beloved sir Ophion send me away! Me! His loyal servant! To meet this stupid brat! I will find a way! I will! The embarrassment! How dare he!”

“Oh dear,” You think to yourself waiting for the man to disappear and then you walk up the staircase. With each step, it feels harder to walk as if somebody would be adding sand to your burden. But you made a promise, and as nerve-wracking this is you knocked on the door. And there he was. Ophion opened, with his huge silhouette filling the door frame. You just realized they probably had to enlarge all entryways just for him. Unlike his usual clothes, he was wearing a black shirt that was fully pinned up which somehow felt odd.

“My beloved! Please enter. Welcome to my private chambers, that not many have the right to enter! You look unearthly today.” He says trying to sway you as always.

“Hi… You… look different?” You hesitate. “It’s a good different, but I never saw you buttoned up.”

Ophion laughs loudly.

“My darling, I, your husband still need to run a business. But if it pleases you I can change in something more attractive to your eyes? Yes, my love?” You can feel your ears burning.

“You are impossible.” You reply.

“Ah my beloved, of course, I am impossible, I am the godly dragon beloved by all,” Ophion responds with his typical smile and a wink. You are sure he didn’t understand what you meant.

“My flower, my love, I wasn’t sure if you were hungry or thirsty so I asked some refreshments to be brought up. And yes, my spouse, the items you asked to be delivered here were left untouched. You think I wouldn’t notice?” He teases you.

With a pounding heart you think to yourself “Well, this is a moment of truth”. And you approach the boxes that have the projector and your guitar case.

“I’m not hungry right now. And…” Ophion stares at you intensively. “Can we spread some pillows on the floor to sit down?” You ask hesitating.

“Anything you want my love.” As odd it feels you and him take some pillows of the elegant sofas that are within the living area of the apartment and move the furniture away to make more sitting space. You ask Ophion to sit and make himself comfortable, and with amusement you watch the dragon take his time to awkwardly sit on the floor, he smiles like a giddy child to you all the time. You take out the projector and place it on the floor and then uncase your guitar. Finally, you kneel in front of Ophion who is with great anticipation is observing your every move. There is something in his dark amber eyes you can’t quite place or name.

“Right… I feel nervous and embarrassed.” You say out loud.

“My beloved, why would you be? There is nobody here beyond us.”

“I’m nervous because you are here.” You repeat.

“My darling spouse, I’m confused.” He reaches out and grabs your hand with his. It’s very warm on your skin.

“So… I wanted to see you because I have something for you. A gift let’s call it. It’s the memory I’ve been having, and I wanted to reconstruct it for you somehow.”

“Oh, oh-! My beloved, my heart is shaking. Did you go to so much trouble… for me? Your Ophion?” He smiles openly.

“Can we dim down the lights?” You ask.

“But my dearest jewel, are you sure the floor will be comfortable enough, what about the bedroom-!”

“Ophion!” You protest loudly before he can finish.

“I apologize, my beloved! But you made it so easy…” He sticks out his tongue and does as you request diming down the lights in the living area, not completely dark but enough to what you wanted to do.

“Because mother-nature has been fickle today and I can’t do what I wanted I thought I will present you with something.” You say like a magician preparing the audience for a magic trick.

“Oh my starling jewel, I cannot contain my excitement, I-!” He starts but you interrupt him.

“I give you the stars on a night’s sky.” You say and turn on the start projector. The device lights up the entire room with hundreds of constellations, and stars from all over our galaxy, gently moving to simulate the motion of a night sky above us. With that you pick up your guitar, and gently settle yourself in front of Ophion, with your back towards him, almost touching his chest feeling the heat of his body, but far enough not to touch him while playing.

“In this memory, I would sit like this and play an instrument very much like this and you were listening.” You say lowering your voice as you start gently pulling the nylon strings. Although in his memory the melody was played on an ancient lyre, you were able to easily reproduce it on a classical guitar with almost identical quality. The first few notes came out a bit harsh but once the nerves went away the melody flew gently and pleasantly in the night air with the stars above you. It felt magical and you didn’t want it to stop. Surprisingly you felt Ophion reach-out to you and slowly wrap his large, solid arms around you and place his head on your shoulder. It didn’t stop you from playing at all, it just made your heart beat faster and harder. The melody wasn’t long at all and it was easy to repeat in an infinite loop, perhaps even it was created that way.

“I know it’s not much but I wanted this to be a gift to you.” You say softly still playing.

“Oh my world, you need not say anything, this is the mo1st beautiful of gifts you have ever given me and I wish it wouldn’t stop. Among these riches that surround us, this is the only thing worth cherishing” Ophion says smiling with his head still on your shoulder.

“I’m happy you think so.” You add and after a moment of thinking you turn your head and kiss his cheek, feeling the gentle giant tremble as you do it.

END

#ophion #housamo #TAS #toko afterschool summoners #tokyoafterschoolsummoners #fanfiction

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readingsbylibramc · 4 years

Text

birth chart reading for @amayiashae

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are venus, uranus and the moon. you are an extremely creative and empathetic person. you are very intuitive, and you're able to come up with original and innovative ideas. you can be quite moody, but you also care a lot about your loved ones, you're a very nurturing person.

your dominant sign is aquarius. you're eccentric and rebel, you don't like being told what to do. you're very considerate of others, as you focus more on the development of a group rather than your persona. that's because you want the people you frequent to be as open-minded as you are. aquarius people are capable of elaborating different ideas in a short amount of time; hence, you either overwork yourself, or you're not able to keep up with all your ideas, leaving projects unfinished.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in scorpio, 0° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

your scorpio rising makes you quite pessimistic; you see the world as a place full of dangers and malice, hence it’s hard for you to trust people. this may be translated through fear; you’re either scared of other people, and hence you look more vulnerable, or maybe you’re the one who prefers to look intimidating to avoid problems. I don’t think you look unapproachable, though. there are other placements in your chart that say the opposite, so I imagine you project an image of yourself that makes you look quite naive. you can sense others’ emotions very well, so they have no secrets for you. you can perceive any single emotion in people just by looking in their eyes. while this is good, as you understand who’s best for you and you’re aware of the dangers you may face, scorpio risings tend to take advantage of this and be a little manipulative. this awareness of the world makes you look mysterious and secretive, as if you always know something more than others (and you probably do). pluto is also the planet of transformation, and you might experience a lot of rebirths throughout your life, both physically and emotionally. you might lose/have lost a big amount of weight, for example, which makes you look like a different person. or maybe, you like dying your hair of a different colour, giving you a different vibe. you wish you could be softer and show your inner emotions more easily, as scorpio is a water sign. the thing is, since it’s a fixed sign, it’s hard for you to be flexible and adapt to changes. when they happen, they’re usually out of your control as they’re literally life-changing. physically, I see you having a square face with high cheekbones. overall, your bones are very prominent and you’re naturally skinny. your eyes are extremely magnetic, and they could also be quite big and/or round. you might have either very pale skin, or just an olive skintone. sometimes, even a mix of both. your hair, eyebrows and lashes are very thick and dark too. you're at least of average height, and you could have something smaller on your face, like a small nose, eyes, lips etc. you may also have very thick hair.

scorpio ascendant conjunct libra moon: this placement makes you look softer than the typical scorpio rising. in fact, you're kind of a cancer rising for some traits: you can read people's mood very well, it's easy for you to understand whether someone is sad, angry, happy... because of that, you always try to make people feel at ease, you're always kind with people, and that makes you extremely likeable. also, since the moon rules over feelings and the inner you, you're probably a very genuine person. it's hard for you to hide your real emotions, and even if you wanted to hide them you wouldn't be capable, you're not fake. you could also have frequent mood swings. you have a strong sense of family and comfort to you, and hence it's extremely essential for you feel at ease to truly be yourself. you may also resemble your mother more than your father.

🌞 sun in cancer, 8° / 1st decan ruled by the moon

this is the softest, most emotional cancer decan. even though you may not show it due to your heavy scorpio influence, you’re actually very vulnerable and sensitive. you may be a crybaby, as crying is a way to vent your emotions. you may even overreact, and be considered too dramatic. you’re extremely moody; you could be all happy and relaxed with your friends, then suddenly you get sad, or even angry. it’s hard to deal with this, especially because your emotions are quite intense. this could make you argue a lot with your peers. even though it takes you a while to find someone willing to stay, when that moment finally comes you’ll embody cancer’s best trait: that is, you’ll become a ‘mother’ to your friends, lover etc. you have a very nurturing soul, you have a knack for affection and care, and you could even get kind of clingy, even though you may feel limitated to give your love to someone else. cancer is a cardinal sign, hence you may be the one to take initiative, yet you do it undirectly. you’re probably the passive-aggressive type, even though this may be mitigated by your dramatic and impulsive leo rising. you’re most likely also quite patient, even though you don’t forgive easily. once someone tries to take advantage of you, it’s over for them.

🌙 moon in libra, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

this is the most intelligent and witty libra decan. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant. ironically, you struggle to keep the same balance in yourself, though. you may appear a bit emotionally cold, as you don’t feel comfortable showing your true self due to your secrecy. you come off as kind of analytical, but you’re actually very romantic. you wish the world was just filled with love and peace, and you that you didn’t have to worry about malice or anything of that type. you hate vulgarity, and you try to be as kind as possible with your words, even though you may be too straight-forward and fail at that. even if you’re an introvert, you may know a lot of people. yet, you have troubles actually creating close bonds with others. you basically have more acquaintances than friends. you’re a nice mediator, you know how to get along with others and make others get along.

🗣 mercury in gemini, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

mercury is in its natural place in gemini, your whole chart flows very well! you have great problem-solving skills, you are extremely intelligent and astute. when you were younger, you probably used to be the winner at games like hide-and-seek. this placement also enhances your thirst for knowledge of any kind, you want to learn at least a little about anything, from science to foreign cultures. yet, since you want to learn so many things all at once, you may lack precision and be a little bit superficial. on the other hand, you're a fast learner, and since mercury is placed in the 8th house, a water house, you may also be very intuitive. you may often find people predictable, but in reality you're just ahead of them. you're also very open-minded, even though you still rely more on logic, not like your sister sign is sagittarius. yet, it's easy for you to be flexible in your day-to-day life, you don't have to follow a schedule to have everything under control, even though you may often suffer from stress and headaches due to this lack of organization. you may have a very youthful and positive voice, you just give off good vibes, you know?

gemini mercury opposite sagittarius mars: this placement makes you slightly more aggressive with your words. in fact, it makes you look more assertive and almost bossy. you could often attack people with words when you get angry, and you can get quite provocative too, even though it may happen in a more passive way. you still have your libra moon’s elegance and diplomacy in you, after all. even though you’re quite controversial for the way you speak, you’re still very sensitive to others’ words. your self-esteem tends to find its base mostly on others’ opinion about you, and you always look for reassurance from your loved ones. to deal with this hard aspect, you need to think before you speak. if you have troubles understanding others’ feelings, just think about how you’d love to be treated. patience will just come naturally to you.

gemini mercury conjunct gemini jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends. you're also particularly good at making jokes, everyone laughs whenever you speak as you have a very good sense of humor.

gemini mercury opposite gemini pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.

❤️ venus in taurus, 23° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

you seek long-lasting relationships. you're very romantic, and this fixed influence gives you high standards for your partner, you stay back from players. you look for someone you can always count on, and that is willing to support you through thick and thin. it may take you a while to find someone worth to be your lover, but once you find them, you'll always be loyal to them as long as they're respectful. they're your most precious possession, hence you're very jealous and protective of them. if it becomes unhealthy for both you and your partner, it's surely an issue you have to solve, maybe together. you're also the type who likes to be spoiled by their lover, and wants to make lovely gifts as well. these gifts don't have to be expensive, even homemade things are fine. for example, you may melt at the thought of your significant other to take their time and do something exclusively for you, like baking a cake or writing a poem. little gestures that show you their love. in a potential partner, you also care about how they present themselves. I'm not necessarily talking about conventional beauty, but more on a self-care side. you like people who smell good, have a nice fashion sense and maybe people that are quite conceited too (obviously not to the point of narcissism).

☄️ mars in sagittarius, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

you are driven by a strong sense of justice that makes you want to discover the truth. you hate lies of any kind, you want sincerity from those around you and you're the first to be constantly honest. you value your freedom a lot, your life motto is most likely 'live and let live'. you think everyone should live their lives by their own standards, without feeling afraid of being judged or criticized. you're a very pure and genuine person, you hardly ever judge a book by its cover, and you're also extremely open-minded. you're thirsty for knowledge of any kind, you're always up to learn something new. you may also be interested in foreign languages and cultures, as well as philosophy, literature... anything that can teach you something new about the world. you may be quite impulsive, and when you get angry you tend to be very blunt. you may say things that hurt others, as you're brutally honest, even though that wasn't your intention. you may also appear as flaky, since you don't like feeling tied to something or someone. you could often change your favourite colour, food, singer... you despise boredom, and your need for freshness may also manifest in your relationships. luckily, since your venus is in leo I don't think it's your case, and you may actually be very loyal.

sagittarius mars opposite gemini jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

sagittarius mars opposite gemini saturn: this placement indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in scorpio. you fulfill your ego when you deal with intense situations that satify your needs. that is, you find strenght in getting out of your comfort-zone. even though you may be afraid of it. you’re an enigma: you know everything about others, but others know nothing about you. it’s your way to protect yourself from eventual enemies, as you’re prone to have a few of them throughout your life. the ruler of the 1st is in the 2nd house: your existence revolves around discovering your value, worth and finances in general. your self-esteem is based on your physical appearance and on your achievements. you may have this mentality that you can’t take care of yourself if you don’t have enough money. you could also earn money through your appearance.

your 2nd house is in sagittarius. you tend to overindulge in 2nd house matters, hence you may spend too much money, you could overeat, or even overestimate your own skills. especially since chiron is here, your deepest wound may be related to the fact that you have an exaggerated vision of yourself. maybe, you’re too confident, or perhaps it’s the opposite. that is, you underestimate your worth way too much. pluto here points out that you could often experience sudden changes regarding money. since you spend so much, you may find yourself lacking money from time to time, therefore be careful to how you spend them. you also have mars placed in this house: you may base your life too much on your financial possibilities. for instance, let's suppose you want to start writing a book. you may start writing it only if you're certain that you're going to be paid for it, you don't your efforts to go to waste, and hence you may often be quite materialistic. at least, you're very stubborn, so you can be an hard-worker when you truly care about something you want to complete or achieve. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 8th house: the best way for you to earn money is working, and providing service to others in general. if you’re generous, people may thank you for that with material things. you may also earn money through spirituality, hence you could be a tarot reader, a psychologist, an astrologer, etc. this is also a placement that indicates that others may give you money easily, you could find lots of jobs that pay you well, and you may even receive an inheritance.

your 3rd house is in capricorn. you enjoy listing and talking about your duties and goals. you’re the type to write down your tasks in your agenda, e.g. tidying up your room, feeding your plants etc. the problem with this placement is that you may struggle to take action, and procrastinate. or maybe, you could do the opposite and overwork yourself. no inbetween. also, when you were a child you probably started speaking later than other kids, or you speak so fast that you end up stuttering. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 8th: you need partners and friends to whom you can talk freely about your interests and opinion, without being judged. also, you may find yourself thinking and daydreaming often about your future spouse, marriage and relationships in general. you may be a very secretive person, or at least you have lots of secrets to you. you may also be good at keeping them.

your 4th house is in aquarius. when you were young, you probably didn’t feel at ease with yourself. you might have been the outcast, that one kid that stood out in the daycare. you probably didn’t have many friends either, but you weren’t that sad about it. you enjoyed playing, drawing and watching your favorite cartoons alone. you find emotional comfort and security in your home, in your parents and in just family in general. you used to be very attracted to arts when you were a kid, and you kept this love with you while growing up. maybe, you were the type of child to lie to your parents. with the ruler of the 4th house in the 4th, you probably feel comfortable and secure in your home environment, as your moon in the 4th also confirms. you can vent your worries to your family members. at first, you probably didn’t feel very close to your parents though. it’s a kind of affection and emotional security that you developed while growing up.

your 5th house is in pisces. you have a variety of talents and creativity, but that may possibly be covered from you at first. you’d do very well at stuff that involves art and drawing. in love, you’re attracted to artsy people; if they’re into art, singing, dancing etc. they’re your ideal of soulmate. you may be very fond of children, and you wish to have at least one in the future. the ruler of the 5th house is in the 4th house: your hobbies are the same or similiar to those of your parents or siblings. your creativity may also involve your family life in some way; for example, if you’re an artist you may draw your parents, or maybe you could write about your childhood. you may hang out with your family members. you’re also probably fond of cartoons and anything related to childhood.

your 6th house is in aries. you work hard to be the number #1 in what you care about, especially if your goals involve school, work, health etc. your days are usually quite busy, and you tend to overwork yourself. your health may not be the best, you may often experience headaches or you may have problems in any part of your face, such as eyesight problems or maybe something involving teeth. with the ruler of the 6th being in the 2nd, your daily routine involves making money. you may often find money around in your everyday life; for example, in front of your door lying on the ground. the best way for you to earn is working, and providing service to others in general. if you’re generous, people may thank you for that with material things. you may also earn money through animals, hence you could be a groomer, a vet etc.

your 7th house is in taurus. in a marriage you seek security, both emotional and financial. you want a loyal partner that would never do anything to hurt you, and that has a wealthy job as well. intimacy and trust also matter a lot for you in a long-term relationship. your venus is also sitting here in this house, one of the best placements for it. therefore, it's an extremely positive placement! it most likely means that your relationships are very pleasant, you may have very loving partner throughout your life and you won't have a bad memory of them when you break up. in particular, this placement also indicates that you're going to have a very satisfying and peaceful marriage, it certainly doesn't indicate divorce. you may often attract people with good looks, as venus rules beauty, but also wealthy people, and you could possibly make money thanks to other people. you may marry someone rich, or maybe your future job will involve other people, and hence you're going to earn money by helping someone else.

your 8th house is in gemini, with also mercury, jupiter and saturn placed there. you may frequently find yourself thinking and studying occult/taboo topics, such as paranormal events, thrillers, tarots, astrology etc. you’re interested in finding out the truth, not only among your peers but in the whole world. you have a desire that all the malice that is hiding behind the government etc. gets exposed, even though you may be so interested in them that you could get used to it and end up overlooking them. saturn here is quite of a challenging placement; in fact, it makes you afraid of any sort of intimacy and taboo topic in general. you may tame opening up, and hence you keep everything for yourself, you struggle to build healthy relationships with others. in addition, you may also have quite a big sex drive, especially with jupiter being in this house, but you end up repressing your feelings because you're afraid. this is something that is going to slowly disappear after your 30 years, especially thanks to jupiter being also in this house. with more maturity, you'll start feeling way more comfortable with this side of yourself, you won't be afraid anymore.

your 9th house is in cancer. someone close, important and intimate with you may teach you the biggest lessons in your life. you could also live abroad with your family, or become a teacher in a daycare/primary school. you have a knack for philosophy, and you may be interested in foreign culture, music, fashion etc. the sun here makes you extremely open-minded! you probably hardly ever have prejudices, you don’t judge a book from its cover, as you are very supportive of others. you probably despise racism, homophobia and any kind of discrimination that doesn’t bring justice. you may also be particularly interested in studying, especially philosophy, literature, but also foreign cultures. you could be skilled or at least interested in foreign languages as well.

your 10th house is in leo. you want to be recognized and stand out. you may want to be a celebrity, or at least you want to be the one people look up to in your work place. you may be known for your successful career, maybe you may actually get popular easily. your identity revolves around finding a stable job and having a great income. also, this is a beneficial placement for people that want to be recognized/famous, as you naturally have the celebrity vibe and charisma to you. the ruler of the 10th house is in the 9th house: you may find work abroad, perhaps you'll have to travel a lot for your job. maybe you'll have to speak or learn a foreign language for your job, or perhaps you'll have to interact with many people with a different cultural background from yours. you may possibly even work as a teacher or as a professor.

your 11th house is in virgo. this placement, together with your heavy scorpio influence, makes you very picky with friends. you may frequently feel happy with different people, but you only call friends a few of them. you also have friends with similiar ideals and approach to yours, hence it’s easy for you to get along as you see eye to eye. your goals may be very practical, you most likely have a detailed idea of what you want to be in the future. you want everything to be organized, as it makes you feel more secure. the ruler of the 11th house is in the 8th house: your friends could be a part of your soul family, and hence you most likely used to know them in a past life. possibly, your friends could also be wealthy.

your 12th house is in libra. you find beauty in neptunian topics, such as astrology, spirituality, dreams, art etc. you may actually be quite skilled at things that involve beauty and aesthetics. you may also be afraid of being judged, especially for your interests and/or physical appearance. you also have your libra moon placed in this house. you may have some escape tendencies to detach from reality; maybe, you use retail therapy as a coping mechanism. you could also oversleep, pray or maybe meditate to stop thinking about your worries for a while. you usually have very peaceful, romantic dreams, and your past life was quite pacific too. this placement also indicates that you may have prophetic dreams, you could predict the future through them or they may have a special meaning to you.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract taurus, libra, pisces, cancer, gemini. your future spouse is probably going to have prominent gemini and / or cancer placements, maybe they're a gemini-cancer cusp, as well as some 4th, 3rd or 6th house dominance too. they’ll be very intelligent and talkative, they are most likely a social person but they also value alone time. you may meet them at work, and they’ll be a big boost for your self-esteem and reputation. you could also meet them in a place where you can eat, hence at a restaurant, at a bar, etc. your children are probably going to have prominent pisces placements, or at least they’ll have pisces/water traits: they’ll be spiritual, calm, artistic and sleepy, yet they may also develop a rebel/emo attitude during their teenage years.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for herself when she has to, but she may struggle to do that. in fact, she looks very emotionally detached. she also has very strong beliefs that you inherited from her. she could have aquarius or pisces placements in her chart, as well as 11th and 12th house planets. your father is a bit softer and more romantic, he knows how to have fun and used to play a lot with you when you were a child. he probably has leo or 5th house placements in his birth chart, or perhaps he has fire placements. if you have siblings, they probably have prominent capricorn placements in their chart. you may fight a lot with them, but your relationship with your siblings will slowly get better with time. in the worst case, your mother might have had a miscarriage, or maybe they were stillborn.

📊 career

with your leo midheaven, any career that revolves around creativity and self-expression would be ideal for you!! in fact, you may have some sort of creative talent, such as writing, acting, dancing, singing, etc. in general, this placement also indicates that you may earn an income from a hobby of yours, and so it doesn't necessarily have to be something creative. for instance, let's suppose you're into psychology. you'd definitely be successful as a psychologist, and there are actually lots of placements in your chart that make it a suitable job for you. possibly, you could even work with food, or perhaps you may work in a field related to money, so you may find a job in a bank. you'll also get to travel a lot, and you'll probably interact with other people as well. because of that, you would also make a good teacher, or maybe a translator for instance.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

with your heavy venus presence, I'm sure you're very elegant. even if you're just wearing a sweatshirt with pants, you still manage to make it look so expensive and particular. you may like pastel, light colours, or even earthy shades like kaki, brown etc. you prefer using comfortable clothes, but you definitely know how to dress up when you have to. you might also be very fond of accessories, like jewellery and bags. you may also enjoy buying designer clothes, but even if they're cheaper, you want them to be of a nice quality. you may also enjoy going thrift shopping, as you may like wearing 'timeless' items, such as white shirts, blazers, coats, classic heels... basically, versatile clothes that are a must in your wardrobe, as they've always been trendy. you could also love oversized fits, as well as 80s/90s aesthetic.

👁 past life, life purpose

during your past life, it was hard for you to get out of your comfort-zone. you preferred staying in your small environment rather than challenge yourself. that made you again awareness of how to act in small communities, but this lifetime you need to go farther than that. you need to prove that what you learned in your past life is the key to nurture your skills, and be able to apply them in a larger environment. you may find yourself travelling a lot, gaining lots of widsom from your experiences... in this lifetime, you basically need to learn through the communication abilities you gained in your previous life.

🤔 major transits analysis / february 4th

you could be feeling a bit confused. with transit saturn being conjunct your natal neptune, you may be feeling constantly sleepy or perhaps sleep-deprived. you may have trouble resting or feeling at ease, especially in your home environment. your mind could be filled with worries, and hence you find it hard to relax. you may also find yourself arguing a lot with your partner or maybe with your friends or family members, especially since transit mars is about to be conjunct your natal taurus venus in a few days.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. you just have to believe in your power!

and this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, let me know if you have any questions :) -libramc xx

#astrology

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