#like ik im an adult now but im still her kid

[lilyblossoming]

.

[sooptea]

Thinking about how i had a not zero amount of symptoms that i never told adults about while i was a child. And now i just spend the foreseeable future not know what's wrong with me

[dracodazaii]

im sorry but i can never be a lyanna stan guys.

just lemme explain.

obviously this is only if she willingly went w rhaegar

To begin with, the situation in its simplest form is that Rhaegar and Elia are married, amicable yet not in love, and Rhaegar runs off with Lyanna, causing chaos to ensue amongst the realm.

Even if no war occured and everything was fine, how can Lyanna try to justify running away with a married man, especially on the way to her brothers wedding which feels very selfish, even if Brandon didn’t want to marry Cat, like she still ruined their wedding day.

Not to mention, that running with Rhaegar meant that shes inserted herself into his marriage which is Elia’s place. How nonsensical it is to run away with a married man and somehow marry him!

There’s two routes people go to justify it, and I’ll explain why I think they suck:

1) E-R-L is a polygamous marriage: This is not appeasable to the realm at all! Nobody will accept that. The only reason Aegon+Rhaenys+Visenya were accepted was because they were conquering Westeros, and like you can’t say shit about the guys conquering you!! Also the Targs were on thin ice then, and Maegor also tried, and look what happened afterwards!

2) E-R was annulled and R-L are married: I don’t think this is reasonable at all. Considering that Rhaegar is only HEIR, just like Daemon, for example. Both wanted annulments and both need the permission from the King and/or High Septon, but also considering how the likes of Aegon IV couldn’t annul his own marriage, do you really think a measly heir could?! At least in Daemon’s situation, he had no children, but as Aegon IV and Rhaegar both had kids (Elia giving birth twice in 3 years) theres no grounds for annulment, and it would disinherit his children potentially anyway, or even start a second Dance. As soon as you have a second wife, whether polygamous, annulled or dead first wife, war will be almost inevitable between the potential heirs.

Also Ik its not possible.. but can we stop with the E/R/L shipping in a serious manner (crackship is fine but in canon is 😐)

Like genuinely thinking mid-20s Elia would want to romance a 14 year old girl, would be fine with her husband romancing said 14 year old, or join in together, is so crazy to me. Like, yes Rhaegar is very much in the pedo-realm but why would Elia also follow suit??!

And like not to be a huge Robert Baratheon stan here (i hate GOT era him) but you can’t deny that it is the rebellion+it’s repercussions on his life, that change him so heavily into this twisted abusive, pedo man. He was not a great guy pre-rebellion, he slept around, was loud and rowdy, but I feel like you can’t really say that Lyanna somehow predicted that he would be this abusive evil man, tbh it seems like she just disliked his promiscuity which is valid, but in doing the same to Elia, her point gets invalidated in my eyes.

Also next point is the age-situation.

Now i know that obviously in a real life situation, a 14 year old girl is at no blame for the groomer actions of the adult…. however just look at how GRRM perceives this. like not as an “oh medieval girls married at 14, its fine” because they were still mentally children… but i mean how GRRM perceives relationships akin to R-L and characters by Lyannas age in ASOIAF-verse.

Ok so GRRM thinks R-L is romantic, which means that the groomer undertones aren’t necessarily meant to be there, and its meant to be more of a Romeo-Juliet situation (which heavily fucked over Romeos girl Rosaline ie Elia). He also believes Dany-Drogo and San-San is healthy, so I don’t think age heavily affects characters romantic feeling and actions much then.

Then if we see character Lyanna’s age, they’re treated as adults (yes some do have child impulses but overall adults). You have Robb acting impulsively like a kid, but ultimately being treated as an adult and being killed. I feel like even though they have kid impulses, they’re meant to get adult consequences for their actions.

Also ages as a whole is fucked up in ASOIAF in comparison to real world, like you have baby Rickon Stark going feral in Skagos, you have 3 year old Joffrey Velaryon/Strong squaring up to Aemond, and you even have 11 year old Benjicott Blackwood being an absolute beast of a warrior when in the real-world, he’d be just a kid, useless in defence.

[bigmack2go]

Newsies as things my family an i have saidpart two bc the other one got too long

Jack (too his newborn): naw look at you, you’re just an idiot! you can’t even do anything yet!

Baby (2 months old): *knocks something over*

Spot: you fucking idiot, why would you??

Albert (to baby): naw look at you you’re just so stupid!

Jack: can you stop calling my child stupid please?

Albert: no.

Albert: wait a minute you called him an idiot before too!

Jack: yes but he’s one year old now, he might understand you!

(In addition to that🔼 one:)

Elmer: well you called our cat fat

Jack: that’s because he actually is!

Elmer *deadpan*: well have you ever considered your son actually is stupid?

Race: listen kid

Jacks baby:

Race: it’s okay to be dumb.

Race: youre just one year old. You can’t help it.

Race: and even if you were older,

Race: that would be alright

Race: some people are just idiots

Race: and that’s okay!

Jacks baby:

Race: Alberts an idiot. And we still love him.

Race: IM an idiot

Race: and look how far i came

Race:…

Race: actually don’t look how far i came

Race: im a bad example

Jacks baby:

Race: look

Race: AHA York is an idiot

Race: and look how far he came

Race: youre gonna do wonderful

Jacks baby:🧍‍♂️

Albert: *screams back the same way the baby screams at him*

One year old: drops food

Mush: can you- EXCUSE YOU?!

Race and albert: *playing store with jacks kid*

Race: sir i‘m not sure you’re gonna pass probationary period like this. You need to stop eating the microphone.

Albert: the little Racer Higgins would like his parents to get him from the play isle

Albert: woah, i‘m a payin‘ customer np need tl scream at me

Race: Mr Kelly what did we say about takin products from customers

Albert: *whispering coworkers gossip to the kid as Racer comes in* OH HI BOSS we were just uh—

Albert: Sir, you need to pay for that! SIR! STOP THE THIEF!

One year old: babbling jsusiwhwvdkvkvbbsjsublemblemblemblemblem

Ike: same dude

Ike: i totally agree

Ike: wait really?!

Ike: *gasp* and what did you say to her???

Ike: some people just need to shut up!

Ike: no you did the right thing!

Jack: y‘know if it weren’t for the circumstances, Adolf would be a pretty neat name

Davey: WE ARE NOT NAMING OUR KID ADOLF

Race(fighting his nephews teacher): You can’t teach them that, they’ll think they’re stupid!

Race: I tried those. And I didn’t get them. How are they supposed to get it right?

Races Nephew(a first grader): uncle race I didn’t even try those yet-

Albert: why is he allowed to suck titties and i aint?

Albert: *points at baby*

(Race: because you’re gay and the kid‘s two

(Albert: how would you know that the kid is too??))

Albert: *whispers to four year old* just you wait you little— OH HI DAVEY

Albert: so when he’s missing the obvious, it’s cute but when i am it makes me an idiot?

Davey: al—

Albert: NO!

Albert: we need to normalise adults being idiots

Albert:

Davey:

Albert: actually scratch that

Albert: we need to accept that babys are idiots.

Spot: SMART „FOR HIS AGE“ And „SMART“ ARE NOT THE SAME THING

(Albert: THANK YOU)

Mush: Jack, your two year old daughter can tie better loops than your five year old son

Mush: i think she might be gifted…

Jack *LOUD*: HA

Mush: huh?

Jack: sorry im just relieved. I thought you were gonna say that he’s the opposite

[twylamprey]

teenage gabriel may (+maddy) headcanons

ik maddy would technically be emily here but its just easier for me to refer to her as maddy sorry

ok so basically im having brainrot and im sad that we only saw young gabriel and adult gabriel so here are headcanons for teenage (14-17?) baby eater (in these scenarios maddy still went through the surgery so gabriel no longer has his own "body" and just has his face, he is able to control maddy the same way he does in the movie though)

i dont think this needs any TW but theres one about periods so if that bugs u just dont read the very last one

-assuming the kids at simion were still going through education, he definitely tried to bully maddy into doing his homework for him bc he hated it

-made fun of maddy when she went through the obligatory middle school awkward makeup phase, but secretly wished he could try it too (no face skin, lol rip gabe)

-if they were allowed to listen to music, he would absolutely whine his ass off when maddy listened to girly teen pop and would try to take over the body so he could turn it off (he only likes REAL MUSIC... mcr)

-adding onto the makeup one... he would ask maddie to do makeup looks on herself that he thought would be cool (usually dark/emo makeup)

-obviously watched a lot of movies... hes literally a walking giallo stereotype so he had to learn that somewhere

-maddy offered to cut her hair short at one point if it would make him more comfortable, but he liked having long hair

-the two would both intentionally piss eachother off by taking over the body and putting all their hair back in a super tight ponytail ponytail so the other would have to undo it when they take over

-maddy started doing her nails and gabriel got mad at first... but then he made her come to an agreement where they each had a designated hand they could paint (gabriel's were always black)

-gabriel liked drawing and would draw himself if he had his own body (if he was younger, itd be like a super muscley super hero looking guy lmao)

-gabriel prooobably wouldnt shower because the hot water and soap would absolutely hurt the exposed flesh. so maddy had to do it and therefore, got to choose what soap she used. gabriel would complain and be like "UGH you used the pomegranate soap again?? i told you to use the 46 in 1" (in classic teenage boy fashion)

-REFUSED to control the body when maddy got her first few periods bc he was terrified and didnt believe her that it didnt hurt, but eventually came around lmao (honestly me too)

ok thats all i have for now i didnt proofread so sorry if theres horrible typos i have brainrot goodnight

[probablydinosaurs]

this was originally a twitter thread but mehhhh. the audience of one-two here get my insane venting instead. its 3am. I've had a rough day and I just want to list it out from worst to least worst. sorry if this is venting. again 3am. 1: my sister showed up completely unannounced, and waltzed in a fight with my other sister and her husband at their place. she had good reason to be here (she's homeless and is a fuckin ice age here. that's not a problem. we are glad she went to us for help.)-sadly she's an entitled fuck who begged my dad for cigs when we have NOTHING BUT A ROOF to give. its SCARY how poor we are. She was also VERY TRANSPHOBIC, which was not on my sister's bingo card this year. mainly about trans woman and their "complaining". my already shit sister saying terf shit was not smth i thought id hear. i was very upset about that. i haven't talked to her bc ik if i do, il cry but I've been giving her the silent treatment unless it's akward. 2: i have covid. had symptoms since like the 13th (i joked that i got it for my birthday) and its been a nightmare. i can't sleep. Eating sucks. my nose hurts. i think i blew a blood vessel in my eye. its just been the worst. 3: due to being unable to sleep, im wildly manic at 3am. i have nothing to do and no one to talk to. and im unreasonably upset that people on tiktok think Spongebob is a kid. like boi your face screams "post movie" pleaaasseee educate yourself on cartoon history. he is an adult! 4: after ALLL of this like 7 mins ago, the fire alarm randomly beeped a few times. luckily not a lot but still. stressed me the FUCK OUT. nothing is on. i think bc its the FUCKIN ICE AGE OUTSIDE, the apartment is a TAD too warm (witch its not. my feet are frozen)

5: found out today that scientists didn't start using real menstrual blood on pads/tampons till AUGUST OF LAST YEAR??? WTF WERE U USING BEFORE? That's why pads are always off SOMEHOW. SOMEHOW there's an issue. and tampons never fit right. they have been fuckin guessin for decades 6: my new cat is a needy hoe. I'm used to it but with covid and barely being able to walk/exist, her sweving between my legs is a nightmare. I always have to throw a bottle cap down the hallway just so she doesn't get in my room. 7: been on upsetting media tiktok. why the fuck is there a fandom forming around a vent cartoon about S/A???? like I won't say its bad but that's not a FANDOM THING! yall are fucked up (also it parodies the peewee's playhouse op and that bugs me. i love peewee.)

interlude: my needy hoe of a cat is named peewee (well to my mom, it's now Princess Pipsqueak but thats not a good name to say in frustration as I'm trying to exist down the hallway. also, we thought she was a boi at first and she has a face that looks like paul Reubens's. I still see it. 8: I have used up all the TP and tissues in the house and have been using paper towels to blow my nose, which is roughing up my already red sore nose. I put gold bond on my nose and it BURNED but now it feels smoother. 9: i feel like i annoy people with my Hannibal hyperfixation. i have yet to truly let it spread here but it's EVERYWHERE ELSE. (and il probs reblog this onto my hannibal blog so hiiiii) and yet it feels like no one cares. ik it's a bit niche, upsetting not everyones thing but Ive NEVER loved smth more and it hurts when i don't talk about it I just. want to get someone into it. someone else got me into it and it means a lot. I hope they are doing ok. I'm grateful they gave me my favorite hyperfixation ever. I've littrally never loved anything more. and I've been into a LOT of stuff. i was called annoying by an ex friend because i got into things too much. and to them, "too much" was anything that wasn't "i like this thing. i think this thing is good and cool. lets rp weird incest about it." (i hate my teen years) but like. that ex friend would HAAAAATE by hyperfixatiing now. i have friends to ENABLE ME NOW. 10: just added this one. kinda put two and two together that corp vtubers birthdays most likely aren't their real birthdays. everyone is celebrating a graduated corps bday and yet they moved to another company and like. no birthday in sight. and it feels weird to latch onto their old persona's bday when they are right there with probs a new (and more real maybe) birthday. you can actually go celebrate with them whenever their "new" birthday is and yet you are clinging to the past. especially since they are THRIVING where they are rn and were not happy as a bigger corp.

thats a bout it. thanks if u saw this and read. its ok if you didnt. i just had a LOT go on lately.

[journey-to-the-attic]

hello!! it’s me again!! happy (lateish) birthday to the bestest girl ever, miss ik!!!! so of course ive come here to ask ik centric questions

since jtta has not ended yet, you totally dont have to answer this but what would ik’s reaction be when returning home after the whole year? would she actually manage to get on buzzfeed unsolved after mysteriously disappearing in the middle of class? how did everyone react to that….

young adult/adult ik time! now as an adult, how does ik feel about having pacts with the seven most powerful demons in the devildom? big accomplishment, kid

also, what does older ik feel about her future?? does she want to go to college, or does she have any future jobs she wants to work?

lets ignore the seasons past season 1 of obey me for a second …. now in the human world, i would assume the brothers and the other students would come to visit ik. how do you think they would do in the human world and how do you think others (humans, ik’s friends, family etc…) would react to them?

sorry for such a long ask ! i love to learn more about ik shes great :) you’re doing such an amazing job writing jtta and im absolutely still obsessed after what?? 2 years now?? time is crazy… im about to graduate from highschool and i remember starting to read this fic when I was a year or two older than ik… wow…

i hope you’ve been having great weeks lately! if not, it’ll definitely get better! keep your head up!

(apologies if this ask gets sent more than once.. my tumblr has been glitching like crazy lately)

-🐳

hhh thank you!!! it's crazy to me that jtta has that staying power, i'm so glad you've enjoyed it!!

as for your questions about ik - i'll answer the ones that i'm not planning to go into more depth on later ^^

ik's feelings on returning home i'll leave for later - but in terms of her disappearance, it's been kept quiet to prevent panic, and later diavolo'd pull some strings to keep it that way. though the classmates who were there in the class she disappeared in will continue to insist it happened, it's kind of treated as a weird mass hallucination

ik actually won't be going back to her old school, because the logistics (and also everything she's missed) would make it a mess, but some of her old classmates will notice her suddenly appearing around town again - with a weird assortment of really tall dudes - and while some attempt to ask her about what the HELL happened, she's always super evasive about it... though there's probably at least one classmate who's gone super detective about it

adult ik has to stop herself from adding 'made pacts with 7 uber powerful demons at the tender age of 14-15 and if you don't hire me they'll all be mad at you' to her CV. she entertains herself by imagining what her host of brothers would do if she summoned them on this rude guy at the co-op

in terms of her future... ik's just kind of winging it, but i can imagine her going to uni to study something to do with animals - maybe she'd be a herpetologist, maybe an ornithologist... or maybe just biology in general. diavolo likes to joke that she's an honorary teacher of creature studies at the rad (prof elderflower is so proud)

i'll leave the specifics of her friends visiting her for a future post-jtta bonus, but i reckon most of ik's friends just assume she has a really weird extended family. there's probably also at least a few people around town who have crushes on one of the guys. meanwhile, luke can get away with putting on normal clothes and just hanging out with ik whenever (lucky guy!)

zhao (ik's dad) and aunt lisa's reactions to ik's new found family will be explored later! but for now i will say that zhao definitely appreciates them (still terrified of them though), while aunt lisa likes half of them and would hit the rest of them with a broomstick if given the chance

[lemonhemlock]

okay ik you’ve been disappointed in hotd’s depiction of aegon and you’re against the idea of him ‘going darker’ so to speak in s2- if i can play devil’s advocate, im actually super stoked for it (you’re welcome to delete and move on, it’s your blog and you didn’t ask for contradictory opinions! im encroaching here lol. you’re def not required to even read this at all)

obviously hotd has made aegon the ‘villain’ so to speak (there’s a hundred arguments to that and i agree with a lot of them but from the pov of a casual showfan, he’s a rapist and he likes to watch little kids fight 🤷‍♀️) i think the time skips in s1 did a lot of damage to building relationships beyond the primary rhaenicent/daemyra, and the greens kids suffered the most. we see glimpses of aegon/aemond’s relationship, but helaena never gets to speak to either of her brothers (l m a o) and alicent gets limited screentime with them as adults. daeron is, well, non existent. what we get of aegon’s role is that he seems to be the troublemaker/problem child- the way alicent reacts with dyana suggested (to me) that this isn’t a first time occurrence, and it’s more of her being at the end of her rope than experiencing the shock that her son is capable of this.

the show doesn’t do a great job of balancing the actual depiction of aegon we see on screen (he’s kind of a large adult failson) vs the one other characters tell us about. i understand the reasons why, but it creates this disjointed feeling of the sad/rejected boy vs this monster other people are trying to say he is. i think when we see the coronation, and he receives this uninterrupted love for the first time in his life, it’s gonna be a joffrey-esque situation at least in terms of this unstable manchild getting absolute power. it’s going to change his dynamics with his family for sure- ik you’ve talked about alicent/aegon and aegon/aemond roles, and tbh im excited to see him claim that power in those relationships. i think it’ll be a large shift from s1, because now he has the idea of acceptance and admiration from the public, and his own family has given him the crown! they’ve doomed themselves to his actions in a way

anyway this is long 😔 i get people dislike how he’s written in the show (totally understandable!!) but with what we’re given i must confess i can’t wait to see him go nutso, especially after blood & cheese. the idea of the greens infighting but still being a force to contend with in the war at whole is delicious to me lmao!!

Hello there!

I'm actually not opposed to him going darker, I just think there are more interesting ways of doing that, ways that don't involve further brutalizing two female characters that already have it pretty rough canonically. There's no need to add to that - it would kind of feel like what D&D did to Sansa by giving her Jeyne Poole's storyline with Ramsey, after escaping KL and Joffrey's abuse. Just unnecessary and cheap shock value. For whomever is interested, I went into further detail here, here and here.

The show doesn’t do a great job of balancing the actual depiction of aegon we see on screen (he’s kind of a large adult failson) vs the one other characters tell us about. i understand the reasons why, but it creates this disjointed feeling of the sad/rejected boy vs this monster other people are trying to say he is.

I do agree with this. On screen he behaves in a certain way, off-screen we are told he is different.

i think when we see the coronation, and he receives this uninterrupted love for the first time in his life, it’s gonna be a joffrey-esque situation at least in terms of this unstable manchild getting absolute power. it’s going to change his dynamics with his family for sure- ik you’ve talked about alicent/aegon and aegon/aemond roles, and tbh im excited to see him claim that power in those relationships. i think it’ll be a large shift from s1, because now he has the idea of acceptance and admiration from the public, and his own family has given him the crown! they’ve doomed themselves to his actions in a way

My main gripe with this is that I don't want another Joffrey. What would be the point in that? :)) They shied away from turning Alicent into a Cersei-clone, why turn Aegon into a Joffrey-clone? They don't even have the same origin story - yes, both were ignored by their fathers, but Joffrey never craved his mother's affection, because he already had it; Cersei doted on him and was very indulgent. Joffrey never had the sword of Damocles hanging over his head because there was another claimant endangering his life. Also, Joffrey is not really shown to be particularly awful towards Myrcella either; she's more or less nonplussed by his existence.

Even when Cersei admonished him and he had his power trips, he never really did anything to her, it was just posturing. He didn't really have the balls to go against his mother, because deep down he knew she was always on his side and there wasn't anything to gain by that? As soon as things got tough, he was the first to cower behind her skirts. Furthermore, Joffrey's entire power comes from the Lannisters - how is he going to piss off Lannister Girl #1 and, by extension, Lannister Patriarch #1? It's very much a case of "fuck around and find out". When Tywin came back to KL, he made quick work of containing Joffrey and there was fuck-all "the king" could do about it. All of Joffrey's awfulness is extended outside his family, apart from Tyrion - although, we should note that he doesn't always have the guts to go against Tyrion all the time either and is even disciplined by his uncle a few times.

Similarly, it doesn't really make sense for the Hightowers to be such pushovers because Aegon decides to act like a prick. Aegon's entire powerbase comes from Oldtown. Yes, Aegon has an advantage over Joffrey because he has a dragon, but he can very much be locked in his room or not allowed entry to the Dragonpit if he acts like a little shit. And what would he even do with his dragon anyway - burn his family members? Come on. There should be Hightower guards sworn to Otto and Alicent swarming the place, just like Cersei had her personal army of Lannister soliders sent by Daddy. Anything else doesn't make sense. Erryk and Arryk have already manhandled Aegon, Aemond gave him a black eye, Criston would backhand him so fast if he were mean to Alicent?

I mean, I'm not in the writing room, and they ultimately can write whatever they want and bend themselves over backwards explaining it, but they've set Aegon up so far to be a different character, so why not act like it? And, if not, at least respect the internal logic of the fictional setting, because I don't see why Aegon should have unfettered access to power right now either. He has literally zero allies at court and no network of support apart from what his Hightower relatives have built for him.

anyway this is long 😔 i get people dislike how he’s written in the show (totally understandable!!) but with what we’re given i must confess i can’t wait to see him go nutso, especially after blood & cheese. the idea of the greens infighting but still being a force to contend with in the war at whole is delicious to me lmao!!

No worries, I don't even disagree with you on principle - I'd like to see ~the darkness, but there are more novel ways to go about it rather than abusing his family members (if that's the way they even intend to go! bc all of this is speculation anyway LOL). I don't mind him scuffling it out with Aemond, but I would hate to see the greens' love and loyalty for one another erased for some gratuitous cliche villain plotline.

Not to mention that the other side is most likely going to be Sainted Rhaenyra as the most wonderful mother to Hero Jace, who loves & respects & would die for her + everyone mourning Rhaenys as a war hero, loving (grand)mother, dutiful wife and queen-who-never-was, everyone vowing to avenge her. Meanwhile Alicent is going to be painted again like the most failed mother in the world, daily regretting her decision to crown her son and weeping after Rhaenyra, the most capable queen that ever was robbed.

And I just don't think that would be a v good story. 😫

[sillybillygirlinher20s]

im a bit drunk and ik its not good bc it makes my meds not work but i love my bestffiend i love my family i love all the good people in my life who care for me i haven't been seeing the beauty and love in the world bc ive been so depressed and im not sure if ill live too long still and ik im an adult now but i still feel so young and lost like im a girl and sometimes i cant even recognize myself in the mirror bc i still see myself as a kid but when i see how i look like i feel pretty and like my kid self lives in me and i think it isnt so bad shes been steering me bc i think i need her to bc shes the key to finding more parts of life that are so beautiful

[astranne]

I've thought too long and hard about it. Tighnari and Albedo ik i said Diluc but THEIR DYNAMIC 🙁

Imagine they meet on a research team (modernly speaking) and they're paired up and they start talking and get to know eachother sm better and decide to stay in contact

Science nerd duo >

Tighnari asking Albedo for help with his plant creations cause Albedo can help. And Albedo asking Tighnari to help research Dendro reactions and he brings Collei to meet Klee 🙁🙁🙁

Albedo working his damn ass off to find at least a medication for Collei to feel better and for it to slow down a considerable rate.

ALBEDO TELLING KLEE TO BE CAREFUL WITH COLLEI SO SHE DOESNT GET HURT 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

Tighnari bundling Collei up in like 30 snow coats because he doesnt want her feeling stiff (shes stiff anyways cause he put 50 scarfs on her).

Tighnari would be so helpful in Dragonspine too since he has really good hearing he would be able to hear an avalanche and hear if Fatui are coming or if monsters are ahead.

Collei and Klee going to Starsnatch Cliff or playing in Diluc's winery (them drinking grape juice and having a sleepover🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁)

Tighnari and Albedo staying up super late and passing out and Collei and Klee making them breakfast. Burnt, unseasoned, and probably on fire but at least the coffee's good.

I HUST LOVE THE POTENTIAL PLATONIC FANILY THEY HAVE GOING ON 🙁🙁🙁🙁 LIKE KLEE CALLING TIGHNARI BIG BROTHER AND ALBEDO GETTING JEALOUS AND COLLEI HAVING TO CHEER HIM UUUPPPP IM GONNA CRY

-🪶(Sobbing)

FISCHL BRAINROT TIME-

very sorry it took me so long, but i forgot to finish this and post it adfbsdsf ANYWAYS more brainrot under the cut as always

science nerd duo <3 generally, nerd duo <33

random thought, but imagine them meeting as kids, or like,,, young teenagers- or just, tighnari meeting a younger, naive albedo who is still with his master and tighnari teaches him more about the plants in teyvat, while albedo rambles about alchemy-

anywhore, yes, tighnari never asks for help, not a single person besides albedo. because tighnari knows that albedo WILL be able to help him, he knows that albedo will always find a solution. with others... he's not that sure. tighnari just trusts albedo and albedo trusts tighnari too <33

also, collei and klee would have such a beautiful friendship because i said so. klee wants to go fish blasting again and nothing will stop her but- collei thinks fish blasting will hurt not only the fish but also other animals and the nature so klee will never do it again

(jean would like to know what sorcery collei used)

klee is now the bestest friend of collei and will take super duper care of her, since she's a knight. and she will also protect collei from her super mean sickness. and to cheer her up, she will never go fish blasting again because that makes collei sad.

yes.

and while collei and klee run around in mondstadt (because amber is busy as outrider and klee wants to show her new friend around in her home (she will show collei the best places which also include the big kitchen in the giant house of master diluc (where they're getting spoiled by the maids and eating cookies)), albedo and tighnari work on a medication for collei, together with the help of barbara (since she's a healer) and sucrose. they're close to something that can slow the sickness down, but didn't find a true cure yet.

but albedo promises to find it for collei and collei believes him (she thinks that besides tighnari, albedo is probably the smartest person she knows, even tho she knows many people from the akademiya)

ALSO, diona meeting collei and them bonding together with amber as bow girls yes please! they also steal venti away and go with him on an adventure, trying to find chests and the animals and plants you can normally find in mondstadt. they also meet razor, bennett and fischl and it's just this random, big ass group walking around in mondstadt, scaring the fatui and monsters away. venti is the responsible adult (for once) and actually stays sober because these children are very chaotic.

and at the end of the day, he takes them back to dragonspine where abledo and tighnari are already waiting for them.

also, collei meeting lisa again and getting adopted by her and jean (she is now known as the daughter of the true love pair in mondstadt (we believe in a power lesbian couple)) and tighnari running from dragonspine because his big brother sense were tingling. he will and can fight lisa and will win. (and if he's close loosing he just calls his friends from sumeru who love collei with all their heart) collei is a sumeru child, not a mondstadt child and she won't get stolen away.

collei just runs in the chaos and spends her day with amber <3

ALSO- the little family with albedo, klee, tighnari and klee is just aisdfasjdbf CUTE. (this is also me rooting for dense boys because i believe that albedo has a crush on tighnari and doesn't know what to do with this and actually thinks he's sick) while tighnari tries not to die every time albedo smiles-

yes, klee and collei and their nerd dads who are crushing on each other but will probably never end up together because they're dense af

OKAY BUT NOW- now i want cyno randomly showing up because he's crushing on tighnari too and wants his fox boi back in sumeru so he can (secretly) court him and stake his claim (because WHY is tighnari so dense???) but then hears how tighnari and albedo practically live together in dragonspine with their kids and cyno is like: "NO, NO THIS IS A NIGHTMARE-" and then runs to mondstadt only to find out that they are in fact living together but not because of the reason he thought. (he actually feels kind of bad but then he sees how albedo and tighnari act around each other and he agressivly tries to court tighnari back to sumeru, while trying to find a cure for collei on his own (he fails lmao) WHILE also trying to shake off this random mondstadt menaces who are also known as children. (razor doesn't like this man who looks similar to him (he smells weird (he just smells like the desert and razor never smelt that smell)), bennett doesn't like him too because razor doesn't like him, fischl distrusts him because her friends do and diona just dislikes him because she's a cat and is picky about her friends) and then there is also klee. klee who always tries to blow him up because she has to blast something that doesn't hurt 'collei's animals and flowers' and appartently he's a good target.

PHEW okay, that kinda escalated lmao

but yes, now i have tighnari x albedo brainrot, with cyno crushing on tighnari and doing everything to get him back to sumeru while the children of mondstadt + collei just create chaos <33

thanks again for sending this <33

[hatsunerandal]

part seven of my playlist analysis!!

part 1 <;- part 2 &lt;- part 3 <- part 4 <- part 5 &lt;- part 6 <- soup soup soup welcome home - radical face lucy's return to portland row, lots of crying, lots of hugging, holly is very confused. very nice atmosphere. burn - malibu '92 lucy before l&co. just existing in that horrible horrible town working that horrible job. but she just. cant. leave. she cant leave. yet. look whos inside again - bo burnham LOOK I HAD TOO IM SORRY. its very lockwood after showing lucy and george whats in the room on the landing. he feels stuck. he feels like he cant get out of this damn house. every memory is still there, just fading. something super sweet - rory webley ik the actual song is about abusive partners and all that shit but if you thnik about it differently its. its lucy. lockwood keeps drawing her back no matter how hard she tries to get away. mr brightside - the killers OK THIS ONE IS SO FUNNY. HEAR ME OUT. after lockwood sees kipps and lucy talking outside he starts blasting this shit from his room and everyone can hear it and hes playing it as hes getting ready and lucy is gettnig ready in her room and is just like ????lockwood wtf and oh my god its so funny hes using a comb as a mic and is putting on a whole performance its hilarious. i bet on losing dogs - mitski oo different vibe from the last one LMAO. lockwood has fallen asleep in her lap after a long cry session, shes running her fingers through his hair and hes sleeping surprisingly peacfully, just thinking about how he might not make it, she starts to cry. looking out for you - joy again lucy after holly shows up, she feels replaced and like lockwood likes holly more, she feels like she should stop being so "obsessed" (in love) with him because he has holly now. she is so so wrong. cigarette daydreams - cage the elephant lockwood is in lucys lap again (im so origional and creative im sorry im just a sucker for pathetic men in their badass gfs lap) and hes talking about jess. she feels bad just cuz he was such a little kid, he didnt deserve to see that. you stupid bitch - girl in red self explanatory??? i think?? maybe i was boring - wilbur soot idk ik the songs r sad and all but it has such cozy reading together on a rainy day vibes. freaks - surfcurse this is so :(((( its so lockwood. OK i know what the lyrics are so dont come at me but if hypothetically the lyrics where "i am just a phase" itd make even more sense. the adults are talking - the strokes a song lucy blasted walking through her tiny town, maybe getting groceries or something like that. goodbye to a world - porter robinson gives lucy talking with the visitors vibes. fallen down - toby fox ermmm lets skip this one LMAOO ignore it arms tonight - mother mother oh boy this one is sad if you think about it for too long so dont think about it for too long :). cause for concern - lovejoy lockwood being reckless and throwing himself directly in harms way just because he wants to die so bad then whenever lucy or george try and ask about it he says its 'no cause for concern'. IT IS VERY MUCH A CAUSE FOR CONCERN. phonograph - piper madison lockwood and his dysfunctional brain and dysfunctional routines. garden in the backyard - bl lucy is sick and locky is takin care of she :>>. runaway - aurora lucys mind while on the walk to the trainstation, and walking through london, getting turned down by agencies over and over before finally arriving at lockwood and co.

this one is weirdly short but anyway ONTO PART 8 SOBS

[irregulardiaryposts]

20:40 07/03/2024

okay wow well its been well over two years since i updated this 'diary' blog lol

so weird seeing all those old posts about being a teenager with existential thoughts lol i dont really think like that anymore, at least not so much. i guess an update is in order then lmao okay so im in my 3rd year of uni now and im doing my year abroad! doing it in a small city in spain and i really quite like my job, ive only got 14hrs, i have a 3 day weekend, the city is small so i can walk everywhere and this job really gives me a sense of purpose that ive been missing in my life. makes me really realise that university is NOT for me lmfao i was so depressed during my second year i probs went to like 20% of my classes loool. im pretty sure i mightve almost failed aswell but since the professors were doing a marking boycott they released grades without marking the final exam and so since i was already doing well enough in all my classes i passed! quite lucky i think cos i wouldve been so entirely embarrassed and ashamed if i had to repeat a year cos of mental health. i think things are better here tho my issues havent disappeard completely like eg i have these evening classes 6-7.40pm tuesdays and thursdays and for the past like month i havent attended :/ at first it was cos i was sick (i think it was covid lol either from glasgow or on the plane back idk) and then i just didnt go back to class. i think my main excuse is that that is dinner time for me and i dont wanna move dinner time lol. but also i think the class itself is just not for me i dont feel like i learn a whoooole lot while im there and learning on apps is easier for me? but i always felt better for going to the classes cos i was like ha! im not depressed would a depressed person do this!? but of course depression doesnt work like that and i think i need medicated ! but that seems too scary to say. but at least i found someone to do a language exchange with! ive only had one hour with her in spanish, which was yesterday, but i already feel like ive improved lmaooo like i literally dreamt last night in a mix of spanish and english ahahahah cos when i think about it i literally have not ever regularly spoken spanish, ive only really spoken for activies in class or speaking exams so no wonder i have 0000 confidence in my speaking abilities but im hopeful that this will really improve my speaking :) about my job i guess- i work in a high school and i really enjoy interacting with the kids they really do make every day different and more interesting so i am grateful for them but sometimes damnnn sometimes i wanna jump out the window especially with this third year class they are the class KNOWN for being a bitof a pain lol and sometimes i have to lead the class by myself lmaooo mid u ik im 20 but i dont look it and they certainly dont treat me like an adult or a teacher and ngl they are a bit disrespectful at times but also what are u gonna do they are 14 and i have no proper teaching experience to help them by myself i can only hope that im actuallt helping them learn english lol. it is quite difficult tho with my scottish accent to try and sound as clear as possible because i pronounce almost 100% of the vowel sounds differently than rp english which is what i think they are used to so i have to realllyyyy annunciate all my words and man is it tiring lol.

what else. im going to madrid this weekend with bestie and im really looking forward to having a relaxing and fun time but i still havent packed my bags looooooool i alwyas do this tho and its fine not a big deal at all but i def need to do it tonight cos im leaving tomorrow immediately after work so ill have to have an actual breakfast and take snacks with me. im really enjoying my time in spain or at least im trying to but i feel like i have pushed myself enough out my comfort zone to be able to look back on this and say yeah i really took advantage of that. like i think i need to be more personable (is that a word yes it is i used it right) in teaching and be more interactive with them and stuff also i feel like i shoulve arranged a language exchange sooner cos i think this will really help, and i need to interact more with the other assistant but the thing is is im just not a sociable personnnnnnn aghgh. any way cutting this short cos i need to pack my bags for my trupppppp

[scrambled-meat]

i feel like a failure to everyone around me

i need a job to survive, and need a job to support everyone around me

especially azul n my wife but i also apparently need to support my mother in law who i love like a mother but she works remotely, makes salary, and gets 100,000 dollars a year

why the FUCK do u need MY money? i can barely make enough fucking money to make rent let alone support us w food or take care of our animals

do u even fucking UNDERSTAND how that sounds? do u ever hear yourself? do u ever look in the mirror n think long and hard abt what it is you're asking?

i need a second n possibly third job JUST TO MAKE RENT AND NOT DIE OF STARVATION

my mom makes WAY LESS than you n i have still had to ask her for help with money MULTIPLE times

sometimes even BEHIND YOUR BACK because ik if you knew you would ask for all of it

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN NEED THAT MONEY FOR?

ALL OF YOUR KIDS ARE GROWN ASS ADULTS AND MOVED OUT.

i need at LEAST a second job just to keep my wife, our pets, and myself alive

and the jobbing market sucks right now, ive applied for probably FIFTY FUCKING JOBS in the last couple months and except for the part time one i have right now, no matter how hard i try, ive come up empty-handed.

but you would have no idea what the fuck thats like. you walked into some tech place somewhere 30 or 40 years ago, they hired you on a whim b/c thats what the fuck they did back then, and now you have enough experience on your resume to fill a goddamn novel, so you can get hired ANYWHERE. and so you have literally never had to ACTUALLY SEARCH for a job in the last several decades, you can just send an email and get hired on the fucking spot. which leads you to believe im lazy, i havent been trying, etc. i have applied for probably half of a hundred jobs in the last two months alone, been checking in, told 1-2 weeks after being almost guaranteed a spot "oh yea we found someone else lol. sorry we never told you. we shouldve but we didnt. also fuck you lmfao"

i fucking DARE you to try to find a job in this area, in this day and age, and in this economy without the qualifications that you stumbled upon randomly and luckily, but still having a 3-4 page resume like mine, and see if you can find a job. i fucking dare you. it would be so fucking funny.

but regardless im supposed to be the man of the house, which means at the VERY LEAST i can provide for the household. i cant even fucking do that. a man provides, and if i cant provide, im a failure in general AND a failure of a man. if i cant contribute to capitalism even when i DESPERATELY WANT TO i am a waste of space, a waste of time, and a waste of breath.

i am a fucking failure.

[yuyu-bi]

......where do i start.....

okay well first....this is the longest season finale ever? we kept thinking each episode was the last one but it wasn’t and we still have one more episode to go...ughhhh

gemma is the true antagonist called it bc she literally lets so much shit slide past her for the sake of keeping her family together and it kinda makes her seem like an magnet for destruction but when it’s actually bc she’s incredibly selfish and manipulative and honestly...good for her lmao even when everything is falling apart around her she somehow manages to keep everything together for the most part but not for the reasons people believe

wendy coming back and wanting to see abel is not and should not be the crime of the century i’m so sorry i do think she does have a right to at least see her son??? idk if she even wants to be involved in his life but she should at least see him? but they literally treat her like a pariah and tara literally had a mental breakdown when she talked to her for what reason??? bc she said she had a right to see her son even though tara calls him hers? no one made you take care of abel this isn’t like a ‘shameless’ situation where tara was left w abel to fend for the both of them?? you wanted to take care of him and even had a kid of your own w jax like??? and yeah tara jax AND GEMMA all deny her that which ik wont end well for her but what is the harm in letting her see the child she birthed? they act like she abandoned him purposefully but she literally went to rehab and cleaned up her like a hell of a lot better than the three of them combined she even said she probably is the most stable adult in abel’s life currently WHICH IS SO TRUE RN LMAOO this plot line is dumb and i hate it so much bc it’s actually ridiculous 

gemma giving the letters to jax bc she wants clay to die is so funny to me lmao bc why are you validating your son murdering his stepdad and then being shocked when he still wants to leave charming after doing so? it’s hard keeping track of what ppl know and what they dont know about what happened this season most of the mc dont know the gemma was beat up by clay they dont even know that piney’s dead and they sure as hell dont know that clay tried to kill tara bc of the letters she had they’re completely in the wind w some of this minus tig and opie like??? they dont even know about the letters and i doubt they will for a while

lmao also there was a scene w clay and unser where like i guess he knows that unser is in love w gemma or whatever and comments that this is probs the perfect opportunity to take gemma from him and whatever and unser has literally been calculating his downfall since lmao he even told opie that clay killed piney not even a minute after discovering his dad died like wtf??? even when clay got shot i was literally hoping for him to just like say smth about that to him but sadly unser is nicer of a character than i thought :( would have been good though pettiness on this show is abundant 

i love how he still does not know about tig and gemma lmaooo even left tig w gemma at some point before all this even happened idk idk idk 

clay and gemma man.....is so sad that i think they’re still the best couple on this show?? i doubt they’ll even be together after all this but i do think they did actually love each other as opposed to jax and tara (who is now weirdly asking people to validate their love of her??? yikes) but lmao that scene where gemma saw clay coming out of tara’s hospital room (!!!) and tells him that opie is looking for him bc of piney and then afterwards hold his face tells him she still loves him and kisses him??? pure gold my guys gemma is truly unhinged clay’s face said it all during that scene like wtf actually lmaoo especially since she wants him to die like??? and he doesnt even know that im dead she’s great 

the fbi stuff i dont care much for but i wonder why danny trejo said that otto didn’t rat out the club but he did do smth?? maybe it was just bobby idk but also juice :( hope he gets out of that situation 

tig also most likely set forward the plot line for the next season w killing that girl lmaooo this is bc no one tells him what’s going on and also he felt guilty for letting clay get shot by opie bc he loves and respects him :( that whole scene w them reminded me of christopher talking to tony while he was still in the coma from also getting shot lmao there’s more to it but yeah 

[oswinunknown]

vent below the cut

cw for intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and just, bad thoughts

and if your a friend of mine, this isnt on you, its just my mind being stupid rn

this is gonna be more of a ramble than a vent but just...

im so tired.

like, mentally, ive got so many things to juggle rn.

grades, irl friends, online friends, home life, anxiety being even worse rn, and :/

right now i cant form the right words, type the right things to say, talk to people the way i used to

before it came so easily to me

now, whenever i get better at talking irl, me talking to ppl online worsens, and same vice versa

and i dont know what to do about it

whenever i interact i have these pillars that help me in communicating. however sometimes one of the pillars fail, and suddenly anxiety comes wooshing in and my entire overall skill of communicating is gone

i cant go a day now where i dont type something or say something or do something where i think "oh i look weird, i look fat, im probably offending someone, they dont want to talk to me im probably annoying and shitty, people dont actually like me, they just hang out with me because they dont want to hurt me, im being too sad, im not being funny enough, im not being creative enough, im not active enough, i cant make a conversation anymore theyre probably tired and want to leave me, i dont talk abt (shared interest here), oh shit ex-friend who i still feel guilt over is closer to me and now im constantly doubting my friend skills, im probably some fat weirdo to people on the bus-"

...i just

i dont know

id talk abt it to someone but as the resident friend therapist for years now, i still dont know who to tell it to

i have one friend who ive vented to the most, but even then shes having her own world of issues and i dont want to add on to it with my stupid brain being shitty.

and too, im getting so sad just from hearing bad things

kids in my backyard are getting more and more rude and more adult in the worst way like cursing each other out and using violence, rage, and crying as a way to get what they want and i hear it every day

my family is too busy worried abt funds n my brother not doing his fucking school work

my other friends i either feel like would get annoyed at my venting (even if ik that theyd listen, anxiety says otherwise)

and even now, just ranting abt it makes me feel shitty bc im just being so fucking stupid rn

and too, so many people i know personally and care for are in shitty conditions and i want to be there and comfort and listen but i keep on taking in stories abt shitty people doing terrible things and it just ruins my mind and mood

but i want to be there, so i listen, because i care

and too, my mom watches shows like that on tv really loudly, so ill still hear it

i used to be able to take really loud rooms and chaos and stuff

now im just

tired.

i havent felt like i could breathe in days

i just want this to be over and to feel better again.

[i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away]

my tummy hurts and I refuse to be brave, if it hurts, I can complain

tw for my vent n shit also don't worry it sounds bad out of context it's not as severe as you think I'd add a read more but idk how to tumblr on mobile and don't respond or ask me about it I just need to get it out thanks

also unrelated note, I have realized the reason I don't like the words "I love you" is not bc of extreme romance repulsion bc I'm aro but years of trauma and manipulation to the point where compliments can make me nervous (especially about my looks or inspiring quotes people say like you are loved you are worth something) like don't tell me I'm so beautiful please stop it, I just hate it... it reminds me of THAT person.... (it wasn't in a se×ual abuse situation don't worry) I'm kinda ok ish with "you are beautiful" or ur pretty but the words "you are so beautiful" just make me want to rip off my skin

if someone compliments my dam skin one more fucken time..... I just can't b ew yahsgvsbs

and I hate whispering and people pulling me aside into a small space just tell me away from people in an open room ok? but I can't ask for people to not trigger/make me uncomfortable without saying I have trauma about weird shit. Like closets and bathrooms (again not as bad as it sounds, was not se×ual abuse)

AND DONT TOUCH ME ISTG ASK ME OR LET ME ASK YOU DONT TOUCH ME

also why do people act like there is always a trusted adult. 99 percent of adults in my life have to power to ruin it if they try or if I trusted them enough to let them in. I know people say reach out but they don't get it. I am not an adult, I have no power. all adults have way more power and that makes them too dangerous to let in. at this point it is probably like my life could be in danger if a stupid adult tries smth with my mom or dad. if I trust an adult with all of *gestures to trauma, gay and Trans ness, on going abuse, ME in general* .. that, and they try to do smth about it bc they think they know how abuse works, I might be kicked out or most likely a lot worse. Adults are like those captas where you prove you aren't a robot. every adult is a test to see if I can not set off any red flags that I'm not.. normal. it's so tiring that it's a relief if an adult doesn't care if I live or die.

also, thought I did a good socialization today, apparently it was shit :'( I tried so hard this time, I talked the least I could and didn't fidget in veiw of the new person or the other people. I talked a bit much at the end, I think that was it? I mean, I was talking about what she liked, and I let her finish her words and got through a convo with 2 other people. im the youngest there though so was I not suppose to talk? we were supposed to be meeting her tho and get to know her????? I'm so tired of being so broken l. I just really tried and my big sister is still disappointed in me. she should just leave for collage already, idk why she doesn't hate me yet...... I don't want her to, I just can't be the person she wants me to be. I'm just so tired I can't be anything but a complete shit hole and I hate it.

and I just gave up on my friend. I want to help her but I'm also fucked up but saying that triggers her so I just- and she's out of the hospital and I don't want to be rude but I just don't want to talk or be friends with her anymore, its too much but I can't tell her bc she already thinks that and I think that about my friends to and its too much god wtf are we doing we are kids we shouldnt want to kill ourselves are this age. But I want her to have friends and be happy but she only wants me as her friend and has no one else and she gave up and it's not healthy anymore but I can't just leave and I can't ask for help but I can't just be on call and talk her out of suicide every Thursday I live in an abusive house and I'm also always on call for my mom. I can't just pick her up and drag her along but idk what she's like now bc she might have blocked me so....

I should draft this but ik like no one looks through my posts so eff it