#like im sure sarah sees him as a little brother mostly

[skoulsons]

Alright, you know what time it is. Scrambled, incoherent episode 4 thoughts

This episode took me three hours to watch and it was 45 minutes. is that any indication how insane i am.

CANT SKIP OPENING CREDITS <3

oooh okay so she’s practicing a bit. Hopefully she doesn’t actually fire

she looks so nervous

NOT THE PEW PEWS

THE EYE SWITCHING 😭 I’ve done that at the range before

These sets always look so good

“Back in the day, we’d drive 10-12 hours on one tank” “So where’d you go?” “Pretty much nowhere” Hmmm probably taking Sarah to all those museums in Texas :(

HER SMILE WHILE HE EXPLAINS THE SIPHON

“You don’t know :)” “I know it works 😑”

NO WANDERING. what a dad move. Dad count #1

NO NOT THE PUN BOOK 😭😭

HE LOOKS SO LOST

“Feel free to wait in the truck” he’s so annoyed 😭 mmm dad count #2

“I want to see a tank” no baby you do not not in these times

THE TAPE 🥹

her squeezing up next to him 🕳👩‍🦯 READY TO CRY MY FRIENDS

“This is actually before my time” “right” dad count #3

AW HELL YEAH

I WAS SO UPSET THEY WOULD REMOVE THIS SCENE

“Oh, no no no. Put that back that’s not for kids. Ellie. Please get rid of it” dad count #4

The shoulder slap 💀

ALONE AND FORSAKEN BY FATE AND BY MAN OH LORD IF YOU HEAR ME PLEASE HOLD MY HAND

whoa there still being cattle is really surprising to me?? I feel like they’d be gone by now

oh wow look at all the military stuff

that shot with the train falling off the bridge is beautiful

oh hell yeah is it camping time

YEAHH

their tiny cookware

IS THAT CHEF BOYARDEE RAVIOLI

Him asking her to slow down. Dad count #5

“I actually agree” chef boyardee stuff was my favorite food as a kid. Their beefaroni was all I ate

“So can we start a fire? I’m freezing.” “Now why am I gonna tell you ‘no’?” Dad count #6

“Oh, they’ll have way more in mind than that (robbing)” still insinuating he was a hunter for a time

does she tell him goodnight. please.

THE ONE THAT SMELLS GOOD IS FRANKS 😭

not the pun book 😭

he looks like he will not sleep :/ (what a great parallel to end of episode them)

“…Joel?”

“Joel!” “What?” “Can I ask you a serious question?” “Yeah.” *proceeds to tell a pun*

DOES HE LAUGH. I saw a spoiler saying he laughs.

L IT TLE MAN SMILED LOOK AT HIS SMILE (how naive I was to think this was the laugh)

Dad count #7

“No one’s gonna find us?” “No one’s gonna find us.” REASSURANCES mmm dad count #8

does he ever sleep :/ hes gonna stay up to keep watch isn’t he

yup

coffee <3

“You don’t like coffee?” Joel please try to sound more offended

the falling backwards she does 😭

“Smells like burnt shit” *proceeds to slurp it just to annoy her* dad count #9 for sure

“Shi-enne” “Cheyenne” “Chey- really?”

Her questions about Tommy 😭

Every scene I get of them now just reminds me of their winter scene and my brain melts a little more

I am thirteen minutes in and it’s been?? 45 minutes of watching??

OOH WERE GETTING TO KNOW??

okay okay so Tommy convinced Joel to join a group that moved to Boston. So that’s how he got there, good to know. “Mostly to keep an eye on him. Keep him alive” we love big brothers. “That’s where we meet Tess.” yo so Tommy knows Tess that’s cool. “And that whole crew, we uh….well for what it was, it worked. Then Tommy meets Marlene. She talks him in to joining the ‘fireflies’. Same mistake he made when he was 18. Wants to save the world…Fireflies all delusional.” mmm thank you for giving me another scene to dissect and think about for the next week. Joel “let’s keep our histories to ourselves” Miller

and he looks like he’s getting emotional too :/

IM NOT FAMILY NOPE YOURE CARGO AND I MADE A PROMISE TO TESS. AND SHE WAS LIKE FAMILY!! SHUT UP. man is still holding on so strong to this. LET YOURSELF CARE

“I’m not even tired” 🫶🏻

YES AND THEY CHANGED HIS ARM POSITION TOO. i love details

Oh here we go

oh okay no not quite hunters yet

the proximity in the truck im gonna throw up

“How far back do we have to go to get around this?” *exasperated sigh* dad count #10

HUNTERS?

oh man those bodies

oh now here we go

Damn no he ain’t even hurt but that’s fine

Jay you were pretty damn close

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt? Nothing?” DAD COUNT #11

SHES SO CLOSE TO HIM WKFHEIDGE

“They’re not gonna hit you. Look at me. They’re not gonna hit you” dad count #12 :)

YEAH what a good shot

I THOUGHT TJAYVWAS JOEL OH

YUP THERES A THIRD GUY I KNEW

so then Ellie shoots this guy n saves Joel right

the hitting him in the face with the butt of his gun 🤩

NOT THE STRUGGLING LEGS?(?;?

okay okay she did it we’re good

The absolute silence from joel and yet it tells so much

“Get back behind the wall” while i stab this guy so you don’t have to see so I can try my best to preserve your innocence despite you just shooting a man and how angry I am because I am a father and you don’t deserve to live in a world like this and experience these things. Dad count #13?

her wiping her tears away quickly 💀 me a little too often

Is he about to give his tongue lashing to her

HE SLAMMED THE DOOR AND I JUST PAUSED HES GONNA BE SO PISSED?? im scared to continue I need to calm down a sec

okay. calm.

panicked for nothing he was just rushing over to move the desk back. anyway

she’s trying to keep him from talking about it 😭

“Stay close.” throwback to Tess telling Ellie that in ep1. Anyway dad count #14

The protective hand reach out™

oh shoot it’s the woman

Kathleen

okay so who is Henry then (HI IM DUMB AS FUCK TOTALLY BLANKED ON HENRY. ABSOLUTELY 100% BLANKED. post episode me is much clearer on all this so ignore how dumb I am)

So she’s got a personal vendetta that went too far or something?

“I delivered you. I held you in my hands. I never told them anything about your brother.” Hmmm interesting

So Kathleen’s brother was breaten to death for some reason. This man, who I guess knows both of them, never told ‘them’ (fireflies? Hunters?) about her brother, but a man named Henry did. So Kathleen is trying to get info from this guy about Henry I guess. Whoever Henry is. Or whoever her brother is. I don’t know I’m confused

“I’m your doctor” is this man gonna be THE doctor? Maybe not? Or does she have something wrong that she needs a doctor for so she can’t lose him?

JEFFREY PIERCE. man he didn’t change his voice at all

DAMN she just shot him

wow that is. a lot of trucks.

GUN SAFETY LESSON?

his head in his hands 😭 poor man needs a break

ARE YOU OKAY??;!;? HELLO??;!;? nothing could’ve prepped me for that

“Im alright.” Man, when was the last time he was genuinely asked that :( he looks like he hasn’t been asked that in ten years

NOT HIS VOICE BEING SHAKY “are you.. alright?” FUCK OFF. you think he’s hesitant to say it because he don’t actually want to care if she is because he’s still trying to not get attached. Anyway dad count #15

i fucking LOVE these two DAMN. Definitely gonna have this scene on repeat for the next week

Alright get the unspoken stuff out of the way please don’t sit in the awkward silence

“Thing is, is…I didn’t hear that guy comin’. You shouldn’t have had to have…y’now?” “Well, you’re glad I did, right?” “Well, you’re just a kid. You shouldn’t know what it means to…It’s not like you killed him, but, shooting a…i know what it’s like. First time that you uh, hurt someone like that. If you uh…im not good at this.” “Yeah, you really aren’t.” “I mean it was my fault! You shouldn’t have had to. AND IM SORRY” HODHS LEAVE ME ALONE JUST FUCKING STOMP MY HEAD INTO THR CURB PLEASE.

her wiping her face :(

“It wasn’t my first time” :(

GUN SAFETY SCENE GUN SAFETY SCENE. Dad count #16 for this whole sequence

her smile :)

him moving closer to her :)

a very good grip

this is so domestic. how does anyone sit and watch this and not lose their mind.

PROXIMITY IS MY BEST FRIEND <3

HANDS HANDS HANDS. we know how much I love hands. GOD I LOVE HANDS

HES SO GENTLE. I deserve to be in a mental asylum please I can’t even contain any thought to even write them out

him trying to tug it out of her hands 😭 WHY COULDNT THE CAMERA PAN TO HIM I KNOW HE WAS SMILING

“Okay?” And she’s just :D

an error occurred this is not the time

He literally did not have to keep his hands on hers for that long. but I am not one to complain

SHE LOOKS SO EXCITED WATCHING HIM 😭

“Nuh uh, you put it in your pack. You’ll shoot your damn ass off.” He knows she’s trigger happy. Dad count #17? 😭

THE GRUNT AS HES GETTING UP

“We’ll get through this.” “I know.” 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 REASSAURANCES 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Jeffrey looks beautiful I will say

OH NO HENRY AND SAM??

oh it’s gotta be I remember that one trailer shot showing Sam around some drawings

OH? Oh they know who they are? Wow

“Henry won’t let Sam starve” oh man I’m not excited at all for next episode

BLOATER?? BLAOTERv??!, BLOATER?5?3$44

ITSLFNRLFHFKD A BOOST UP

A JEOLAND ELLIE BOST UP YOURE KIDDING

game mechanics in live action makes me happy

JOEL AND ELLIE BOOST UP!!!!

“You’re just gonna put your foot here.” “Okay.” “One, two…” “oh shit, oh shit.” “Straighten up, I gotcha.”🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 living my best life right now. What is that dad count #18

“I gotcha” being Joel’s thing. I cant wait to hear him say it more

“Where would you be without me, huh?” “By now, Wyoming.” “Oh yeah, walked into that one.”

“We’re going up 42 flights?” “45. But no, not all the way.” “How far?” “As far as I can make it.” i love how old he is

THE SCORE <3

Them slowing down 😭

OH SHIT I DIDNT THINK WED GET THE CONVO

“Hey, you know that guy who said he was hurt? How’d you know it was an ambush?” “I been on both sides.” “It was a long time ago. We did what we needed to survive.” “You and Tess?” “And the people we were with. My brother, too.” “Did you kill innocent people?” :(

That “c’mon” sounds so much like the one in tlou2 in that flashback where they find those two Jackson kids and they have that little argument

HIM SLIDING DOWN THE WALL TO SIT 😭

kicking his feet 😭 “c’mon” “gimme a minute” “get up, you lazy ass” “‘lazy ass’. I’m 56 years old you little shit” HRIFHEKD I LOVE THEM SONMUCH

“Joel? Joel? Joel?!” “What? 😡”

“Oh I get it. Crunch crunch crunch”

“Well, goodnight :)”

“Yeah, goodnight -_-“

AW

“Hey. When we were talking about hurtin’ people…what did you mean it wasn’t your first time?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” Oh how the turn tables.

HIM TURNING OVER TO TALK TO HER

“You don’t have to. I’m just saying…it isn’t fair. Your age. Having to deal with all of this…” “So it gets easier when you get older?” “No, not really. But still.”

“The reason I asked if you’d hear the glass or not is cause I’ve noticed you don’t hear too well from your right side. Is it cause you were shot there?” “Probably more from shooting. So if you want to keep your hearing you better stick to that knife.”

“Joel?” “Hm?” This is perhaps the biggest dad thing he’s done all episode.

HES TRYINF SO HARD TO FIGHT THE SMILE. NOT HIM AXTUALLT FUCKING LAUGHING. HE FUCKING LAUGHED. HE LAUHJED.

“That is so goddamn stupid.” “You laughed, motherfucker!” “I didn’t laugh.” “Yes, you did!” “Jeez, I’m losing it.”

NOT THEM GIGGLING TOHEYEHR. I’m getting chills what the fuck. they’re giggling together.

“Go to sleep.” “You go to sleep!”

I have. the biggest grin on my face.

I know he slept soundly that night. I KNOW he had the best sleep he’s had in a while. and it’s all bc he went to her giggling with this girl he very obviously does not care about and has no fatherly affection towards whatsoever

HENRYBAND SAM <3 cant wait for next episode heartbreak

[transbibennyweir]

kinda wish the show bridged the gap between sarah’s friendship with rory and benny. we already know sarah and erica are good friends it’s establish within the first moments of meeting the characters. and we know she values ethan a lot to the point that she fully got turned just to save him. but i can’t really recall her and say benny doing things for each other in a similar way. like they joke and tease. we know they’re friends to some extent but we don’t really see how deeply it runs and the closest thing to it tends to center ethan anyways. even rory and erica had stuff going on without the others around. i wish we saw that with sarah and benny or her and rory. just to better see how they play off each other and what kind of friendship they have and how it differs from how they are with others/rest of the group ://

[fredshufflepuff]

— anon’s request: ok so since i too am a whore for angst. how about the reader and rafe having a summer thing as a kook (maybe she goes to the pogue school but is a kook) and once she goes back to school, they drift apart and rafe gets jealous of her spending her time with the pogues. then maybe he sees her again at mid summers all dressed up and remembers he still loves her. please break my heart with this, im in need of a cry and then maybe put it back together with some fluff at the end? please

— warnings: fem!reader, brief smut (skip if uncomfortable), asshole!rafe for a good chunk of the imagine, language, angst, fluff.

— word count: 2,166

IT all started when you bumped into rafe at the country club on figure eights.

you didn’t normally hang around that area, but you were hanging out with sarah that day—which meant eventually running into her brother.

she tried to keep you away from him, just because he had no filter and didn’t think twice before voicing his opinion, but sooner or later your interaction with the boy would happen.

“oh god” sarah mumbled causing you to raise your brows, a confused frown on your face as she signaled to look behind you.

you turned around not so subtle to see rafe cameron making his way down the grassy hill, a golf club in one hand and a can of beer in the other.

“hey little sis, when were you going to introduce me to your friend here?” the boy spoke, a small grin on his face at seeing her roll her eyes.

“i wasn’t planning on it, you know—considering how you’re an ass.”

a small giggle fell from your lips as rafe turned his attention back to you, the sides of his mouth curling slightly at your reaction.

“well since she won’t introduce me, i will” he said, his figure leaning over yours which was sat on the grass.

he tossed his most likely expressive golf club to the ground to extend his hand out to you, which you hesitated to take before slowly reaching for it.

“i’m rafe cameron.”

of course you knew who he was, everyone did.

“y/n y/l/n.”

YOU thought the interaction with sarah’s older brother was in the past, not having to see him again since you weren’t planning on going back to figure eight or the club any time soon.

but when you found yourself in his bed getting the absolute daylights fucked out of you, you knew right then and there that this wasn’t a one time thing.

“fuck rafe,” you moaned loudly, your head thrown back against the pillow as your eyes fell shut from the feeling.

he slide his cock in and out of your needy hole as you whimpered from under him, his toned body pressed against yours as you jolted from each thrust.

“m’gonna cum, flood this needy little fuck hole” he spat, his hand coming down to grab your face and force you to open your eyes.

“please, rafe. please fill me up” you begged, your little moans and pleads sending the boy over the edge.

as soon as he gave you permission to cum you didn’t hold back. it felt like your entire body had shut down as your head fell to the side.

rafe sent a rough thrust into your quivering body before emptying himself inside, making sure to keep himself as close as possible in order to not let any leak out.

“fuck,” he groaned in your ear, his body pressed against your small one as your hands came up to rest in his hair, pulling on it gently as his cum filled you up.

later that night you didn’t bother sneaking back out to your place, instead rafe suggested you actually stay—running you a hot bath before ordering take out.

it surprised you really, considering how you didn’t know what you guys were.

you both agreed to only be friends with benefits when this all started, but now you didn’t know if you wanted that or not.

you wanted something more with the blue eyed boy.

“what are we?” you asked while laying in his arms, the feeling of his breath trailing down your neck giving you comfort.

“friends with benefits.”

no hesitation was found in his voice. it was quick and sudden, just like your heart breaking.

“oh.”

you didn’t talk much with rafe after that night—leaving early in the morning to avoid further interaction.

rafe didn’t suspect anything though, knowing how busy you usually get with school and home life, but after that single day turned into almost a week, he knew something wasn’t right.

usually you’d be around the house or at the country club, but it felt like you were almost avoiding him.

when school started up that’s when things really started to hit for rafe. you were not only distancing yourself from him, but now you were hanging out with the pogues.

to him you had wiggled yourself into john b’s friend group, getting closer with everyone but mostly jj, the one pogue he despised more than the others.

it was the night of midsommars and you were preparing yourself to see rafe, your nerves seeming to skyrocket every time his name was mentioned.

“ARE you feeling okay, y/n/n? you’re all jittery” kie pointed out, her eyes locking with yours through the vanity mirror as you slowly brushed through your hair.

“i’m okay, kie— really. just nervous for tonight i guess” you shrugged, your response seeming convincing enough as she nodded.

“hey slow pokes! hurry up or we’re going to be late” jj called, pounding on the door making you and kie jump.

“fucking assholes” you mumbled.

MIDSOMMARS was something you always looked forward to.

the lights, the food, the beautiful dresses and people you got to meet—which was rare considering how almost everyone there were stuck up kooks who’s only personality trait was having money.

all except rafe.

he was different towards you, a lot different it was scary.

“jj, don’t get into any more fights, k?” kie sighed, licking the pad of her thumb before dragging it across his face—getting rid of the dirt that had formed there.

he didn’t say who specifically it was with—the fight—just claiming it was with some stupid kooks who didn’t know when to stop talking.

“yeah yeah” he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair before sending you both a small smile.

he picked up his tray and spun it on his finger before sending her a wink, a blush coming to kie’s face as she quickly looked away.

“soooo, you and jj....” you said, the girl’s eyes rolling as she playfully pushed you away.

“enough about me, what about you?”

“me?” you raised an eyebrow, “what about me?”

“don’t play dumb, y/n/n. i’ve seen you come back late with hickeys.”

you grabbed a glass of champagne from one of the waiters walking by and took a long sip from it, your eyebrows twisting together— “this is good, you should try it.”

kie was about to protest until the music started to kick up again, your favorite song playing making you gasp.

you quickly placed the glass on an empty table before taking her hands and pulling her towards the dance floor.

“let’s dance!”

unknown to you—rafe had been watching you ever since you stepped foot into the venue.

IT was almost one in the morning when everyone had left, you and kie sitting at one of the empty tables while you waited for jj to finish up.

you hadn’t had that much to drink, but you could say you were a little tipsy.

“ready to go?” jj asked while throwing his arms around you both, a sarcastic grunt dropping from your lips at the sudden weight.

“we were about to leave yo-”

“well, well, well...if it isn’t the golden trio” a familiar voice spat, your head snapping to the side as your eyes fell on the devil himself.

rafe cameron and his little minions.

“if it isn’t daddy’s money, dumb, and dumber” kie snapped back—referring to topper and kelce who were standing on either side of him.

“put your dog on a leash maybank before we do it ourselves” rafe threatened, only causing jj to break from your side and lunge at the boy.

“jj, stop” you said, grabbing his arm as kie yanked him back, “he wants a reaction.”

“i didn’t see you there, y/n. so quiet and small, hard to notice you.”

which was obviously a lie. rafe noticed you the second he walked into the stupid party.

“what do you want, rafe? getting bored at the country club?” you asked, your lips dropping into a fake pout.

“actually the country club is entertaining, unlike some needy bitches who can’t satisfy my needs.”

your face dropped as kie gasped beside you—jj completely unaware of what was going on but still pissed at the way rafe was speaking to you.

rafe’s face dropped slightly at the realization of what he just said, nothing but lies falling from his mouth as his eyes filled with guilt.

“fuck you.”

YOU didn’t remember much after that. just the events taking place of jj trying to throw another punch at the boys before getting dragged away by kie.

the poor girl was trying to control her hot headed friend while the other was on the verge of tears.

but you refused to cry.

in front of rafe or not, you would not let yourself cry over him.

all you remember is crashing at john b’s house and waking up with a massive headache.

your legs were draped over kie’s as the two of you slept on john b’s bed, the boys taking the couch in the living room.

light from the outside peeked through the curtains as your eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness.

your phone laid next to you on the comforter as your hands dragged it closer.

what you weren’t expecting was a shitload of texts from rafe.

rafe cameron: i’m really sorry

[sent 1:34am]

rafe cameron: y/n

[sent 1:34am]

rafe cameron: i didn’t mean anything i said

[sent 1:36am]

rafe cameron: i was drunk and wasn’t thinking

[sent 1:40am]

rafe cameron: please hear me out

[sent 1:41am]

rafe cameron: meet me at our place

[sent 1:49am]

rafe cameron: 7:30am

[sent 1:51am]

you groaned loudly while reading his texts, the need to throwup swirling in your stomach as you tossed your phone to the side.

you ran your hands over your face as you thought on what to do, biting your bottom lip in the process as you stared at the wall in front of you.

after what felt like an hour of pondering, you let yourself slip off the bed and grab your hoodie that was thrown on the floor.

you were going to see him.

‘WHAT if she doesn’t show’ rafe thought to himself as he sat in the sand, his eyes locked on the waves crashing in front of him.

he was stupid last night.

the boy made a stupid mistake that he regretted deeply.

he just needs to show you how sorry he is.

“rafe.”

his head snapped in the direction of your voice, your figure standing a few feet from his as he then quickly stood up.

he dusted off his pants before nervously making eye contact, his throat suddenly drying up as he attempted to swallow what felt like a rock.

“y/n, i’m s-so so sorry for what i said yesterday. i-i didn’t mean any of it-”

“so what? i’m supposed to forgive you?” you cut off, raising an eyebrow as his mouth fell slightly, “what if it happens again?”

“i-it won’t! i swear it won’t. i was just drunk and jealous and really fucking stupid” he blabbered on, his hands shaking as he tried to defend himself.

“jealous?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowing together as he nodded his head shamefully.

“of you and that stupid pogue.”

“jj?!”

he seemed to visibly retract from your words, his eyes narrowing as he bit the inside of his cheek.

“yeah, him.”

“so you acted the way you did...because of jj?” you slowly asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he stared at you.

“i didn’t mean it, y/n...” he frowned, his face dropping slightly as you waited for him to continue, “please give me another chance, i’ll show you how sorry i am—how much you mean to me.”

it was quiet for a good minute as your thoughts swarmed your mind for a response.

“rafe...”

“y/n, please.”

another minute went by, the only sound coming from the waves crashing along the shore.

“fine.”

IT had been five months since you forgave rafe, and things were honestly going better than you had expected.

after that morning on the beach he took you out on a proper date—ending in him walking you back to your house and even stealing a kiss.

he even stopped starting fights with jj and the other pogues, wanting you to know that he was better than that.

“WHAT do you want to watch?” rafe asked while flipping through channels, one hand holding the remote while the other rested on the small of your back.

“m’not sure, you can pick.”

he hummed in response before clicking on some random channel, not really planning on watching it anyway.

he tossed the remote to the side before looking down at you, admiring your relaxed state with your arms wrapped tightly around his torso.

“you know i love you right?” he suddenly asked, his voice low and soft as he stared at you from above.

“why so gushy, rafe?” you teased, your own head angling up to see him better.

he was so beautiful.

“i’m not gushy,” he rolled his eyes, “i just wanted to remind you.”

you blushed at his words before nuzzling back into the crook of his neck, your lips kissing the delicate skin making him smile.

“i love you too, rafe.”

🏷rafe cameron taglist : @jordynsharum

a/n: could you tell i didn’t know how to end it

[topsytervy]

Hello ~ Rafe Cameron

This is Part 2 to Goodbye cause I had the thought in my head and I didn't want to write it only for it to sit in my docs so you can read Goodbye (aka Part 1) here.

Blurb: A lot can change in five years.

Word Count: 3,677

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, smoking, cocaine, spelling/grammar mistakes, i think that's it.

Small note: I’m 19 and have never planned a wedding. I’ve been to my fair share of weddings as guests and my only experience with a wedding would have been when my sister got married, however, her in-laws are kind of assholes so her wedding was really lowkey and shit, like it took place in my sister backyard lowkey, cause her mother-in-law was like 'Im not paying for anything cause you guys wont last but I'll pay for your sisters weddings' so like I’m winging half of this shit if not most of it. I’m sorry.

~~~~~

It was 5 years later.

You were 21, along with the rest of the pogues, and able to legally drink and purchase alcohol. So no more hassle with a fake ID.

Nothing had changed except for college and jobs. You and JJ had broken up after two years of dating and, much to everyone's surprise, it was like nothing had ever happened between you two.

It was insanely easy to slip back into the friend zone with JJ, despite both of you thinking that it would be awkward. Both of you fell back into old habits fairly quickly. Sure there were the first couple of weeks where you two felt as if you had to force normality but after that, it was like nothing happened. Sure, JJ still called you princess and you still found yourself hiding into his side during scary movies, but those were habits you two had prior to dating, and old habits die hard.

The only other difference was that John B and Sarah were getting married.

They were planning on getting married at The Lodge at Bear River in fall which meant a ferry to the mainland and then an almost 8-hour road trip to the venue. 

You, Kie, and Wheezie were bridesmaids, Kie being maid of honor, and Pope, JJ, and much to John B's displeasure, Rafe were groomsmen, JJ being best man. 

You and Pope were walking together which left Rafe and his half-sister to walk together. 

Rafe looked at his sister and John B, trying to stay as unphased as possible. "Y/N's gonna be a part of the wedding party?" He asked, taking a drag from his cigarette from his spot by the pool. 

John B and Sarah were outside at the patio table with their wedding planner, going over guests and the wedding party. The three looked over at Rafe and Sarah nodded.

"Why wouldn't she?"

"No reason. If you need someone to walk with her, I'll do it." He told her as nonchalantly as possible. 

"She's walking with Pope." John B responded. Rafe made a face as he brought the cigarette back up to his lips and John B narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is there a problem?" Sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"No. No problem. It's your wedding."

John B rolled his eyes before turning back to the wedding planner. 

Rafe stood up and walked inside, flipping John B the bird as he walked by. He felt as if John B was put on this earth just to make him miserable at this point.

Rafe walked over to the bar and fixed himself a drink, Wheezie rolling her eyes from her spot on the couch in between Rose and Ward, who were currently scrolling through formal wear for the wedding. 

"Dad, Rafe's day drinking... again." The now eighteen-year-old piped up.

Rafe glared at her. "Just wait Wheezie. This will be you in a few years." He told his half-sister with a smirk.

Wheezie scrunched up her face in disgust at the sight of her brother holding his cigarette in one hand and drink in the other.

Rose, a glass of wine in her hand, rolled her eyes at her stepson as Ward, a gin and tonic in his hand, just sighed. "It's five o'clock somewhere, Wheezie." 

Rafe clinked his glass against his father’s as he made his way upstairs to his old room that he was temporarily staying in since his apartment building had taken some damage during the latest hurricane and was currently getting the necessary repairs done, and closed the door behind him. He sat down at his old desk chair and looked at the corkboard above the desk where a couple of polaroid pictures of you hung. The pictures were the first thing Rafe went looking for when he had gotten back to his apartment, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw the little lockbox he had stored the polaroids still in the closet and completely unscathed. Rafe downed his drink as he swiveled his chair back and forth. 

Of course, John B wouldn't pair you and him up. That would be helping a brother out. Rafe did everything he could to show that he changed once he heard you and JJ broke up.

 He quit cocaine and took up cigarettes instead. He went back to college and got a business degree. He was currently working and getting along with his father. He had his life together, mostly, and on track. The only thing missing from his life was you.

He had barely spent more than 5 minutes in a room with you since the breakup because you were either by JJ or you retreated as far from him as possible. He'd casually bring you up in conversation with John B and your friend would just roll his eyes. 

"We don't bring you up in conversations, Rafe." John B told him one day.

That cut the blue-eyed man deep.

Especially since this was after Rafe gave John B the money he needed to buy Sarah an engagement ring. 

Some wingman John B was.

Rafe stood up with a sigh and walked downstairs, deciding to bring the entire bottle of whiskey upstairs since he could already tell it was going to be one of those nights. He halted by the patio door though when he heard his sister and John B start talking.

“Would it be that bad to pair Rafe and Y/N up for the wedding? I highly doubt Wheezie wants to walk with him. At least Y/N won’t whine about it.” She asked as she placed a hand on his arm, the wedding planner nowhere in sight.

Rafe leaned against the wall, biting his lip as he waited for John B’s answer. If Rafe was being honest, he was kind of surprised that his sister would even consider asking John B that since she could care less about what Rafe wanted.

“Sarah, I love you but you did not see her that day or the day after or the following month and a half after that. Do you know how hard it was seeing Y/N like that? Heartbroken. Not wanting to get out of bed. Thinking she did the wrong thing and that caused him to go over the edge. Do you know how many times JJ, Pope, Kie and I caught her reading the obituaries to make sure Rafe’s name wasn’t in there?” John B looked at his fiancée. “I’m not pairing them up together without her permission. That’s that.”

“Then ask her.”

"What?" 

"Ask Y/N if she wants to walk with Rafe?" Sarah saw the 'are you kidding' look in John B's eyes. "I'm serious John B. Rafe's changed a lot and, despite what you think, you cannot keep her from talking or seeing my brother all your life."

"I can try." The curly-haired boy stated, crossing his arms.

"You know what, JB? You are acting like a damn child. It is not going to break Y/N/N if you ask her one small question that contains the name Rafe, okay? I'm sure she can hear his name and not break down or something. It's been long enough. Let him have that 5 minutes he needs to talk to her cause, yeah I do not doubt that Y/N took their breakup hard, but what about Rafe? Hmm? Believe it or not John B, but my brother has fucking feelings too, okay. He probably took that break up just as hard and Wheezie and I witnessed it. So stop acting like even whispering Rafe's name will break her and just fucking ask her if she wants to walk with Rafe or Pope."

"Fine. If it makes you and Rafe happy, I'll ask her." John B huffed.

Rafe didn't stay to hear the rest, just turned around and walked back to his room, the whiskey bottle long forgotten. 

****

Fall had come quickly and the wedding date came even faster. It was like Rafe blinked and then he was on the ferry two days before the wedding, sitting next to you, very awkwardly might I add, his leg bouncing up and down as he played with his fingers. It was like he didn't know what to do with his hands. After all these years, the most natural thing to do with one of his hands was still to place it on your thigh and the amount of willpower it took to not do that exact thing was unbelievable.

Rafe had told his dad that he was going to rent his own car because eight hours in a car with his family was a hard no for him. 

So there he was, walking over to the car he rented and opening the door before stopping and watching you get in a car with Pope, Kie, and JJ.

You glanced up just before you got in, making eye contact with him. You gave him a small smile to make it a little less awkward and Rafe returned the smile before hopping into the car. He watched you guys pull away and pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh before putting the key into the ignition and starting the car. 

This was going to be the longest three days of his life.

***

He was happy for the long-ass drive of day one considering once everyone got to the hotel, there was a silent, collective decision to all just turn in for the night. 

Day two was a little less chill. After being awoken by a panicked banging on the door of his hotel room, Rafe got out of bed as quickly as he could and opened the door, only to be greeted by Sarah who roughly pushed past him into his room.

“Yeah. Come on in. Good morning to you too.” He deadpanned before shutting the door.

“What the hell am I doing, Rafe?” She asked out of the blue, causing a look of confusion to settle on his face.

“I don’t know. You tell me.” He stated.

He watched as Sarah sat on his bed and ran her hands through her hair, letting out a breath. “Is this too soon? Am I getting married too young? Like, I’m 21, Rafe. I should be out getting blackout drunk and having hookups and having regrets but instead, I’m doing the exact opposite.” She rambled.

“Okay. I see what’s happening now.” Rafe walked over and sat down next to Sarah. “Sarah, trust me when I say that marrying John B will not hurt any of that. I guarantee that you and John B will get blackout drunk together and call someone for a ride. I guarantee you will be having hookups, it’s just that all of them will be with John B. And you will have regrets. What those regrets are, I have no fucking clue but life is full of them. Trust me, I have a lot of regrets and I’m only 24.” Rafe told her. “But, I don’t think marrying John B is going to be one of your regrets. Canceling this wedding would be. After all, the venue does say no refunds.”

Sarah snorted slightly and Rafe bumped his shoulder against hers. “Believe me, Sarah, if anyone is ready to get married at this age, it’s you. You came down with a damn binder filled to the brim when you were like seven and placed it in front of me and dad on the coffee table and told dad to start making connections with everyone in that binder, right down to the dress designer.”

Sarah smiled before turning and wrapping her arms around Rafe. “Who would’ve thought you could give a pep talk. And liked John B.” She said.

Rafe slowly wrapped his arms around his younger sister. “Apparently you because you came to me. However, this does not mean I like John B. I am not going to start canceling shit just to have some one-on-one time with that curly-haired surfer dude. Okay? I simply tolerate him because he somehow makes you happy.”

After breakfast and lunch that he spent with Wheezie, last-minute plans when he walked to your room to ask you to lunch only to knock and have you answer the door which caused him to quickly abandon that plan and say “Whoops sorry. Room 202 for Wheeze,”, the rehearsal dinner came quickly. 

In all honesty, Rafe wasn't really paying attention to the dinner at all. How could he when you were right there, quite literally within his reach, laughing and smiling?

The actual wedding day itself was stressful leading up to the ceremony but after everyone got where they needed to be, it was smooth sailing. Rafe and Wheezie walked out after Kie and JJ. 

Rafe watched you walk down with Pope and couldn't help the pang of jealousy he felt in his chest. He also couldn't help but imagine himself as the groom and you in a white dress, walking down the aisle towards him.

He quickly shook the thought from his head though, watching you take your place next to Wheezie before turning your attention towards the door to watch his dad and sister walkout. 

You glanced over at Rafe and smiled slightly when you saw him bring a hand up to his cheek, wiping away a tear. You turned your attention to John B before Rafe could look over and catch you staring.

You saw John B wipe his hands on his trousers as subtly as he could. You caught JJ's eyes and he shook his head, mouthing 'fucking whipped' to you.

You nodded and moved your eyes between Sarah and John B before settling them back on JJ. 'Obviously' you mouthed back before the pair of you stopped before someone caught you.

In all honesty, Sarah did and she saw Rafe catch the interaction as well, noticing him swallow hard.

The ceremony went smoothly with no objections -Rafe fought back the urge to object just to mess with everyone but he knew his entire family wouldn't appreciate the humor- and after pictures, everyone moved inside for the reception as the sun began to set.

Dinner and drinks were served, toasts were made -JJ had made sure to include a few of John B's stupid and most embarrassing moments, much to Rafe's pleasure-, and then the dancing began. 

Sarah and Ward had their father/daughter dance and then John B and Sarah had their first dance before everyone else was encouraged to join them on the dance floor.

Wheezie walked over to Rafe and Rafe looked at her. "I am not nearly drunk enough to get out on that floor and dance with you Wheezie."

Wheezie just rolled her eyes. "You have a shot right now to go ask Y/N to dance and no one will even notice you. Take it." Rafe ignored her. "Oh, okay. So you can sit there and stare but you don't have the balls to walk up to her and say 'wanna dance'?"

Rafe glared at his half-sister. "Watch your mouth, Wheezie."

Wheezie took one last glance at the dance floor and shrugged. "That's fine. Looks like someone else did."

Rafe had never scanned a crowd faster than he did right there and sure enough, there you were, a cousin of his with his hands on your waist and yours on his shoulders, moving slowly around the dance floor.

"I'm going out for a smoke," Rafe muttered before getting up and making his way out of the building. 

He stood outside and brought out his pack of cigarettes, along with his lighter, and opened up the little carton. He withdrew a cigarette before closing the pack and shoving it back into his pocket, placing the cigarette between his lips. He heard the song from inside end before another one started back up as he flicked the spark wheel a couple of times, his thumb landing on the fork before a flame appeared.

He cupped his hand in front of the flame and brought the flame to the cigarette that rested between his lips, making a mental note to buy a new lighter since his was running out of juice.

Rafe heard the door open and close as he shoved the lighter back into his pocket and inhaled. He blew out the smoke before looking over to see who had joined him and was a little surprised to see you.

Of course, Rafe knew at some point you'd duck out of the party for some fresh air considering in social situations where they were tons of people, you needed to get away for a bit and recharge your social battery. He just didn't expect you to do that so soon.

You both stared out in front of you, not saying anything and Rafe brought the cigarette to his lips again, taking another drag.

"It's beautiful out here." You breathed out, trying to start some conversation.

Rafe nodded as he exhaled. "Yeah, it is."

"I wouldn't mind getting married here." You added absent-mindedly.

If Rafe had a drink right now, he would've choked at your words. He nodded nonetheless. "Yeah. It's a pretty nice place to get married."

You looked over at Rafe. "You gonna be okay over there, big guy?"

Rafe turned his head to look at you, confusion written all over his face. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you wipe a tear away, bub." Rafe's heart sped up at the nickname that you used to use on him. "When Sarah was walking down the aisle. You gonna be okay or should the same reaction be expected at Wheezie's wedding too?" You smiled as Rafe groaned, tilting his head to look at the almost pitch-black sky.

"Don't even mention Wheezie getting married. To me, she's still that annoying thirteen-year-old that was always eavesdropping and snooping through shit." 

"Awe, Rafe. You got a soft spot for your sisters now. That’s so sweet." You cooed, knowing that when he was 19, the only thing he did was complain about the two Cameron girls. "Seriously though, I think it's sweet that you walked with Wheezie and that you shed a tear today." You told him.

Rafe couldn't stop the words that tumbled out of his mouth. "I wanted to walk with you but you told John B you'd rather walk with Pope."

Way to go, dumbass, he thought to himself.

"What are you talking about?" It was your turn to look confused.

Rafe sighed, taking another drag from his cigarette and letting the smoke pour past his lips as he spoke. "I offered to walk with you and John B said no. I overheard him and Sarah talking a bit later and Sarah told him that it wouldn't hurt to ask if you wanted to walk with me or not. And I think you know the rest."

He might as well fess up about it since his mouth and brain already decided to rat him out anyway.

You shook your head. "I don't know the rest because John B never asked me who I wanted to walk with nor did he ask if I wanted to walk with you."

Rafe looked over at you, his eyes locked on yours. He knew when you were lying and this was not one of those times.

He chuckled before shaking his head. "God. He's such a dick."

You ignored his comment about one of your best friends and walked closer to him. "You seriously wanted to walk with me?"

Rafe nodded, looking down at the ground. He was in way over his head, admitting that after half a decade he was still thinking about you and wanting to be with you. Even if it was for like a 20-second walk down an aisle.

You felt a blush grow on your cheeks as you looked down at your hands, playing with your fingers.

A beat passed before you spoke, keeping your head down. "If it makes you feel better… I would've said yes."

Rafe looked at you. "Yeah?"

You nodded and he took another drag from his cigarette.

"Can we start over?" He asked.

"What?" Your Y/E/C eyes lifted from the ground to meet his blue ones.

"Can we start over?"

You bit your lip. "Yeah. Sure."

Rafe cleared his throat before placing a small smile on his face and giving a little bow. "Hello. I'm Rafe."

You breathed out a laugh before giving Rafe a slight curtsy. "Hello, Rafe. I'm Y/N. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Rafe shook his head. "Oh no. The pleasure is all mine."

Your heads both turned to the building when the song changed once again to a slower song and Rafe took Wheezie's advice on seizing an opportunity. 

"You still like this song?" You nodded once more and Rafe put out his cigarette before extending his hand to you. "Would you like to dance?"

You smiled and took his hand. "Of course."

He placed his hands on your waist and yours looped around his neck, him starting to sway you two slightly.

"You look amazing by the way." Rafe complimented, taking in the lavender color of your bridesmaid dress.

"Thank you. You look rather dashing yourself." You took your hands from his neck and straightened his tie before returning them to where they previously were.

You moved closer to Rafe, resting your head on his chest as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Rafe?" You mumbled towards the end of the song.

"Mhm?"

"I missed you." You admitted.

Rafe smiled before placing a kiss at the top of your head. "I missed you too, Y/N/N."

"Rafe?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you maybe wanna ride back to the ferry together? 8 hours is a long trip.  Especially when you're alone and I have to deal with JJ, Pope, and Kie." 

You heard Rafe’s heart speed up a bit before it calmed back down as he took a deep breath. 

"I would love that."

~~~~~~~

[rafecameron]

super spies - r.c

Summary: In which reader follows her boyfriend to try and catch him cheating and Rafe tags along

Word count: 2.3K

A/N: This kinda sucks but im posting it anyways

*GIF is mine*

You were almost one hundred percent sure your boyfriend was cheating on you. You thought it, your friends thought it, but you needed some hard evidence before you broke up with his sorry ass. You didn’t want to throw a two year relationship down the drain over a misunderstanding, though the niggling in your stomach should be proof enough that you were right.

You text him asking him his plans for the day and he replies saying he’s staying home as he’s not feeling well. You already know this is a lie as you’re sat in your car staring at his car from across the road, you were parked close to the town centre. You supposed he really could be ill and he had stopped off to get some medicine, but you highly doubted it.

Getting out of your car you stuff your phone into your bag and head towards the shops, not sure where you would find him but determined to do so. You checked multiple shops, no sign of him in any of them. You sigh audibly to yourself, almost ready to give up before you catch a glimpse of him from across the road. You quickly duck into an alley way, poking your head round to watch where he was going, you saw him disappear into the cafe across the street.

Checking the coast was clear you bolt across the street, sneaking up to the cafe and poking your head round the corner of it to peek through the window, it’s busy inside but you can see him at the counter ordering. He didn’t look very ill to you. You glare through the window at him, watching him smile and chat to the girls behind the counter as he waits for his order, you could feel yourself getting more annoyed by the second. 

You were so engrossed on watching your boyfriends actions that you didn’t notice someone coming up behind you, their head practically touching yours before the finally spoke into your ear, “What are you doing?”

You sucked in a breath of air out of shock and spun round, glaring at the amused person behind you, “What the hell is your problem?” You yell at him, hand over your pounding heart, you quickly look back into the cafe hoping that your yelling hadn’t given away your position. Luckily your boyfriend didn’t seem to have noticed.

“Why are you sneaking around? You’re acting really weird.” Rafe laughs, hands in his shorts pockets as he waits for an answer.

You sigh running a hand through your hair, you quickly grab his arm and pull him out of view of the cafe window, “I’m watching my boyfriend.” You admit, not really sure why you were telling him the truth. Sure, you’d known him your whole life, he was your best friends brother after all, but that didn’t mean you should tell him about your cheating ass of a boyfriend.

Rafe raises an eyebrow at your confession, “That’s a bit stalkerish, don’t you think?” He asks, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“I guess,” You shrug, “But I need to see where he’s going.”

“Why?” Rafe asks, but you don’t have time to answer him as the cafe door swings open and your boyfriend appears, walking in the opposite direction with two coffee cups in his hands.

“Be quiet.” You warn the boy beside you as you head off in the direction your boyfriend was going, you could feel Rafe following behind, you hadn’t actually expected him to tag along.

“What are we? Super spies now?” Rafe laughs behind you but you just slap at his arm and shush him in annoyance.

You follow him into a small park on the outskirts of the town, keeping close to the tree line in hopes that he wouldn’t notice you and Rafe tailing him. You quickly put a hand out to stop Rafe walking as your boyfriend comes to a stop next to a bench, handing one of the drinks to a pretty blonde girl who was sat there. She stands up as he speaks to her pulling him into a hug. His free hand goes to her waist and he leans down and kisses her quick on the lips. 

Your jaw clenches in anger, gripping onto the strap of your bag harshly as you shoot daggers at the pair by the bench, “I knew it.” You said through clenched teeth.

“What a fucking asshole,” Rafe fumes from behind you, “You want me to go beat the shit out of him? Cause I will.”

You glare at them for a moment longer before turning to Rafe, eyes wet mostly from anger and frustration than from hurt, you shake your head. “He really isn’t worth it.” You reply, wiping a tear off of your cheek as you begin to head out of the park.

“You’re not even gonna confront him?” Rafe asks running up behind you, his hand rests lightly on your shoulder and you don’t have the energy to shrug it off.

“No, I’m not. Let him be happy with her, I’m over it.” You huff out, the tears on your face telling a completely different story.

“You don’t look over it.” Rafe comments, falling into step beside you.

“And what would you know about it?” You snap at him, finally pushing his hand off your shoulder.

“I know that there’s a pretty girl in tears beside me because of some absolute tool.” He states, putting his hand back on your shoulder but this time stopping you from walking, “You were right when you said he’s not worth it. He was never good enough for you.”

You scoff and shrug his hand off again, “You don’t have to be nice to me, Rafe. You don’t even know me, you’re talking shit.”

“I don’t know you?” Rafe raises his eyebrows at your statement, “I’ve known you my whole life, Y/N. I know that you spend Saturdays in Sarah’s room eating ice cream and watching shitty girls movies. I know that you broke your arm when you were seven falling off the swing in your garden. I know that when you’re sad and hurt you get angry like you are now. I also know that you’re one of the nicest people on this stupid island and you don’t deserve that asshole hurting you like this.”

You blink up at him, fresh tears falling from your reddening eyes, shocked that he paid any attention to you at all, “Rafe, I-“

“You don’t have to say anything. I get it, I’m your friends asshole older brother and you hate me, but I don’t want to see you like this.” Rafe sighs out.

You take a second to process his words before replying, “I don’t hate you, Rafe. I could never hate you.”

“Yeah? Well then why don't you let me try to cheer you up?” He suggests, smiling now which only served to pull a smile onto your own lips.

“Okay.” You nod, wiping your face free of the last of your tears and following Rafe out of the park which was now your least favourite place on the island.

“So what are we doing?” You ask him after walking in silence the whole way back to the town centre.

“I’m cheering you up.” Rafe states again, “Wait here.” Rafe pulls you to a halt and sits you down on a bus stop bench before disappearing.

You knew you should probably call Sarah and tell her exactly what’s happened, let her come and pick you up and comfort you, but for some reason you were a little excited to be spending the day with Rafe. It was probably best you didn’t tell Sarah about that part. Before long Rafe returned, handing you a cone of ice cream which caused your face to light up.

You took it from him, licking at the cold scoop on top, “This is my favourite flavour.” You state as you begin walking beside him.

“I know.” Rafe states matter of factly.

You eat your ice creams in silence as Rafe leads you to his truck, by the time you climbed into the passenger seat you had finished eating and were curious as to what you were doing next.

“So, what are we doing?” You ask, buckling yourself in and watching Rafe excitedly.

Rafe shrugs, “There’s a couple things we can do. Or I could show you somewhere, if you want?”

You furrow your brows slightly, “Show me somewhere?” You asks and Rafe just nods his head in reply, “Okay, show me.” You smile and nod.

You were expecting the drive to feel awkward, you’d never really been alone with Rafe for more than a few minutes and you were worried you wouldn’t have anything to talk about, but you were worrying for no reason. The Rafe with you today was a side of Rafe that you didn’t see very often. He was friendly and open and extremely funny. He had you in stitches in the passenger seat, making comments about the stupidest things just to hear you laughing.

You were almost upset when the truck came to a stop and it was time to get out, “I could drive round with you all day.” You admit, a slight blush on your cheeks at you confession.

“Well we can do that next then.” Rafe smiles as he climbs out of his truck.

The devastation from early this morning was completely gone from your mind as you followed Rafe, the area he had brought you to looked a little run down, somewhere between figure eight and the cut, not somewhere you expected Rafe Cameron would hang out. 

He reaches out and grabs your hand, “Watch where you’re stepping.” He warns you as he leads you off the path and into a wooded area, still gripping tightly onto your hand.

“Is this where you murder me and bury my body?” You ask playfully, eyes on the ground as you follow his steps so as not to fall over the many branches scattered across the floor.

“Am I that easy to read?” Rafe asks with a chuckle.

When Rafe’s feet stop walking in front of you you look up, peeking round from behind him, “Is this-wow.” You cut yourself off, fully stepping out from behind him, “This place is beautiful.” You comment, stepping in front of him to get a better look.

He’d brought you to the tiniest cove you had ever seen, the sand stretching no more than fifteen feet either way, rocks lining the edge of the sand and trees bunching together behind you. The ocean looked bluer her, like that pale blue water you imagine in exotic places and it lapped gently at the sand.

“How did you find this place?” You asked, finally turning away from the view to look at the boy behind you.

Rafe shrugs, “Needed to get away one day, somehow found this place. I come here whenever I need to be alone.” He admits.

“Thank you, for bringing me.” You smile, “I promise I wont keep turning up and ruining your peace.” You laugh gently.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Rafe admits, he moves to sit down in the sand and you follow suit, sitting beside him and looking out across the water.

“It’s so peaceful here, I can see why you come.” You mumble out, fingers burying themselves in the sand.

You spent the whole day in that cove with Rafe, laughing, messing around, having heart to hearts. You never imagined Rafe would have such a soft side to him, you were sure he would never want anyone else to find out.

“Are you cold?” Rafe asks, reaching over and wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side, you smile up at him appreciatively before looking back out across the ocean at the sun set, pink and orange glowing across the glittering water.

“Would you call me crazy if I said considering I caught my boyfriend cheating on me this morning I’ve had the best day ever?” You laugh softly at how stupid that sounded.

Rafe shrugged lightly, “I wouldn’t call you crazy. I’d just say you’ve learnt he was an ass who isn’t worth shit and moved on pretty quickly, it’s admirable.”

You look over at the boy sat next to you, “You think I’m admirable?” You ask.

Rafe’s eyes meet yours, the sunset casting an orange glow across his skin, “I think you’re incredibly strong, I always have.” Rafe admits.

You smile softly and don’t stop yourself when you feel yourself leaning forward, you rest a hand against his chest as your lips meet his. The kiss was soft and gently and didn’t last nearly as long as you would have liked it.

“I’m sorry-“ You start.

“Don’t me.” Rafe cuts you off, his hand coming up to the side of your face and pulling your lips against his again, this time with kiss was longer, his lips pressed against yours with more pressure. Before you knew it you were laid back against the sand, Rafe’s body hovering over yours as you got lost in the feeling of your lips together.

That’s how you spent the rest of the night, laying in the sand, pressing kisses against each others lips, noses, foreheads, cheeks. Lost in the feeling of each other and not caring about anything else, not needing anything more.

From that day onwards that became your spot. It’s where you held most of your dates, having picnics and drinks by the sea, it’s the first place you slept with Rafe and the first place you shared I love you’s and you couldn’t be more thankful to your ex for giving you the opportunity to let Rafe into your heart.

[revchainsaw]

The Crow (1994)

Alright Cult of Cult. Do I really need to introduce this one? Let's get all 90s and gothy and maybe brace ourselves for a bit of cringe, but like in a fun way. It's the Holy Grail of Hot Topic, 1994's the Crow Starring Brandon Lee.

Sermon

Apparently before the auto industry totally crashed Detroit was already a total fucked to death pile of burning shit, or at least that's what the crow would have you believe. Sorry Bruce Campbell, and other people from Detroit, but mostly Bruce Campbell. According to the Crow the city of Detroit is the kind of place where gangs of warlock anarchist arsonists will bomb buildings, and murder and rape whoever they feel like and then walk around bragging about it the next day with absolutely zero consequences. Funny then that if Detroit was so bad they had to go to film this movie in Wilmington North Carolina which is definitely a fucked to death pile of burning shit. I can say that, I'm from there and I got the fuck out. My brother is going to kill me if he ever reads this. (It's okay, these are all jokes people). Did you know they also filmed the Super Mario Bros movie there ... also cuz they needed a really shitty looking distopia. Moving on ...

The ludicrous criminality of the Crow's Detroit is particularly on display on Halloween. In Detroit (apparently) Halloween is known as Devils Night and it's legitimately just a night of pure lawlessness and chaos and kids aren't even safe to get candy, except later when we do see trick or treaters. Eric Draven, hunky goth rocker who sort of looks like he could be Bruce Lee's Kid and his fiance are murdered by a gang of vicious criminals. One year hence, Eric is resurrected by a mystical crow (that is actually a Raven), to exact his revenge on the gang that murdered him.

He paints his face like sad Alice Cooper and refuses to listen to Joy Division, just covers. He murders Tin Tin (a knife guy) just for his long gothy duster, he murders Fun Boy and forcibly ejects heroine from her arms and tells her "Go be a good mom now" which actually works. (have I told you about our Lord and Savior Sting? He gave me the strength to get off drugs), he blows T Bird up dick first, and then comes for Skab? Scraap? Scooby? in a meeting of all of Detroits villains and just about kills them all.

He is supported by the most 90s little girl to have ever graced the screen, and I am here for it, and Officer Albrecht, who's played by Ernie Hudson but I like to call him Zeddemore: The Most Underrated Ghostbuster. The leader of the bad guys, who I cannot beleive wasn't played by Brad Dourif or Tom Waits, is pretty interested in the occult. He keeps his witchy girlfriend around and she makes him fun dishes like smoked eyeballs, and her main use is that she knows that the Crow is the Crows weakness. They set Tony Fucking Todd on the bird, and I guess you just have to hurt the bird and not kill it, and Eric loses his healing factor and other macabre undead powers.

The Crow, Jimmy the Raven, pecks out Dr. Girlfriends eyeballs, I honestly forget how Tony Todd gets offed, and Top Dollar gets Gargoyled (that is impaled on a gargoyle). Funnily enough that is more Gargoyle related impaling on screen then in the actual movie Gargoyle: Wings of Darkness where a Gargoyle is supposed to have impaled a guy.

The Benediction

Best Feature: Injustice League

In the Crow we have not only a set of super memorable villains but they are played by the bad guy all stars. John Polito as the most lowly of the bad guys as a kind of sleazy pawn shop owner who buys ill gotten gains. Tony Todd, who's size is really on display here, the freaking Candy Man is in this movie. T Bird is the head of Top Dollars goons and is played by David Patrick Kelly, you might know as the "Warriors Come Out and Play!!" bottle guy from the Warriors, or as Jimmy Horne from Twin Peaks, and of course Top Dollar himself is played by Michael Wincott. Wincott is not a particularly celebrated actor but has played villains effectively in Robin Hood, the Three Musketeers, and Dead Man.

Best Set Piece: Detroit Style Hot Dogs

The Set design of the Crow is perhaps one of it's most fantastic features. It's very moody and ethereal. It's just real enough to not take you out of the film, but fantastic enough to set mood and theme above realism. From Eric Draven's apartment, to the church where the final battle occurs they are all fantastic. I think that's why I really wanted to shine the spot light on a very minor set piece that would get nary a mention but just as effectively represents the qualities I was just talking about and that is the Maxi Doggs Hot Dog Stand, where a lot of the films exposition for audience surrogates takes place.

Worst Effect: Freeze Frame

At a few points in the movie the film makers made a strange decision to do these freeze frame transitions. I only noticed it twice in the movie where it was particularly stupid. I'm sure the film makers at the time thought it was a moody and atmospheric choice that highlighted the suffering that Eric Draven was going through, but it didn't age well. If you don't have the sensibilities of a goth girl from 1994 then it's very very hard not to laugh at just how self involved the movie is about it's super sadness.

Worst Feature: Tragic Accident

Solely based on the film itself, it is that very gothic and dated sensibility that hurts the Crow. The little sarcastic dance he does when he flees the police, quoting Edgar Allen Poe, and bowing to Albrecht. These affected behaviors that I'm sure seemed snarky and right on to the target audience only serve to make Eric Draven seem like an unbearable neck beard edgelord and not the troubled dark soul he's supposed to be. I'm sure at the time it seemed unique and gothy but that shit went out of style for good reason, people could see through it. It's a shame that the Crow himself was some of the cringiest parts of this movie now that I'm seeing it as an adult and not a 13 year old middle class boy with no real problems.

This however is not the low point of the movie. It's not news now and if you're reading some dudes review of The Crow on Tumblr then you probably already know the story. The worst thing about The Crow is that Brandon Lee was horrifically killed on set while filming this movie due to some negligible prop malfunctions. A series of unfortunate events that lead to the actor spending 6 hours in surgery fighting for his life before eventually passing. It was not a quick or painless death and it's really impossible to watch the movie without an appreciation for the fact that this kind of fun dark adventure was going to be a vehicle for Brandon Lee's career wound up taking his life. He was 28. I really wish I could have just bitched about the goofy goth stuff and moved on, but that's not the world we live in.

Best Effect: The Gargoyling

Maybe I should have called this best kill. But I'm not sure which it is. The slaying of Top Dollar at the Climax of the film was just super effective. The pointed wings impaling his chest and that horn coming out of his mouth, it was morbid and excellent and just fit the tone of the movie perfectly. I mean how many other movies can you say Cause of Death: Impaled on a Gargoyle.

Best Bird: The Raven

I tried very hard to look up the name of the bird that primarily performed in this movie and could not find anything. There was a Raven once upon a time called Jimmy the Raven, but that was in the 50s and I don't think birds live that long. There was a team of Ravens performing as the crow, they were chosen over crows for their larger size, and more imposing silhouettes. I just think it's so wonderful to see these often maligned birds get a chance to show off their talents. Corvids of all kinds are incredibly intelligent creatures. Im a sucker for animals, if you haven't already figured that out. I really liked seeing the ravens hit their marks, particularly the one whos job it was to drop the wedding ring into Sarah's hand at the end of the film. You can see that greedy little bastard do his trick and then look of camera at his trainer like "treat please!". It's very cute.

Best Actor: Top Dollar Performance

I'd love to take this opportunity to just put praise upon Brandon Lee, he truly gave everything for this role, but unfortunately with what was put to film we actually have very few character moments with Eric Draven. Stuff happens to him, and he does killings and fights. There's definitely some personality, but I felt like I walked away knowing almost nothing about who Eric Draven was. He was clearly a good dude but that and a few hobbies and a relationship and you don't really have a character yet. He's unfortunately not given a lot of acting to do, instead just relegated to stunts and action sequences. That were notably cool.

The bad guys in the Crow have a lot more character and among this who's who of character actors, Michael Wincott takes the cake. Hell he was standing next to Candyman himself, Tony Todd and still stealing the scenes.

Best Character: A Few Good Apples

Is the best character in The Crow really going to be the cop? The commissioner Gordon stand in? yeah, it is. Not to be political, but I don't like cops, but I guess in a world with magical birds and eyeball smoking I can suspend my disbelief and let Ernie Hudson be #1 cop dad. His character is really the heart of the film, since all Eric can do is brood and fight, we have to care about someone in this movie.

Best Sequence: Halloween Party

The best sequence of the movie is of course the scene where Eric Draven busts in on the Devil's Night party planning commission. I think Top Dollar brought Scrappy Doo there just so he could lure out the crow, knowing the baddest assholes in all of Detroit would be gathered it was likely that somebody was going to kill the beast, or if they couldn't at least Top Dollar could get a feel for his enemy. It's a bullet flying action sequence with a ton of weight. I can't put my finger on this all to common weightless third act problem that big budget super hero and action flicks have nowadays, but whatever that issue is, the Crow does not have that issue. From this point on the Climax feels earned and I am invested. For that reason, The Crow is honestly better in spite of its awkwardness, than many of the super hero movies out today.

Worst Sequence: My Guitar Gently Weeps

Speaking of brooding or fighting. The best sequence was fighting, the worst is brooding. I get that Eric was in a band or something, but didn't he have shit to do. It seemed like it was a cool idea for a shot, but for like a whole seen, watching somebody play an 80s guitar solo, that stood out so brazenly from the choices of music in the rest of the movie was extra corny. It felt like someone's( dad trying to relate to their kid. Oh you like Music. The Dresden Dolls eh? Oh man, then you're going to love Slash's Snake Pit!

Summary

The Crow is dated. It is iconic but I wonder how many of the people that hang that poster on the wall have watched that movie since they were kids. It's interesting how what i've liked and disliked about this film have changed so much sense I was a kid. It's a cheeseball fiesta. If you have matured at all beyond thinking that being sad is the same as being deep then you're going to like it a little less than you did when you were younger, but it is still solid. There's not much to hate on. I'd watch it over and over again. I was really afraid it would not hold up at all, but returning to The Crow was a completely positive experience.

Overall Grade: B

[unconsciouscelestial]

Bone-afide Buddy

for @smitemight Sorry this took so long! Things have been busy. I really hope you like it~       What a week you had been having. Work had been absolutely horrible, and you were reminded that it was thanksgiving- which you felt obligated to go to. To make matters even worse, the date you were going to bring broke it off two days ago. You just knew that if you didn’t have a date, your step-cousin Sarah was going to spend the whole night bragging about her relationship and purposefully making your lack of a partner topic of discussion. You couldn’t stand her fakeness most days but she was always particularly awful at family gatherings.

       So now you found yourself posting a profile on a dating app with the clear instructions you were only looking to make friends for a family event. It didn’t take long before you got a private message.

[Stretch: hey. sounds like you could use a bone-afide buddy]

Was that a skeleton pun? Why would he...? You checked his profile and almost fell out of your chair laughing. He was a skeleton! It was definitely a pun. Even better! Sarah vehemently hated puns. You skimmed over his profile, already pretty sure he would be perfect. Apparently he had brother he was super proud of, and he looked fairly laid back. You messaged him back no hesitation in your mind at this point.

[you: Tibia honest, I really could. Are you really willing to pretend to be my date?]

[Stretch: well when you think about it, its still a date, just platonic. no one needs to know that though. do you wanna hang out first sometime before thanksgiving so its less awkward and we're past first meeting? make it less obvious?]

[you: oh hey yeah that's a great idea actually! Do you have anything in mind?]

[Stretch: there is a sweet cafe that I frequent, its pretty relaxed and I think youd like it]

[you: sure! How about you text me the details and we will go from there? Xxx-xxxx]

The two of you spent the rest of the day texting back and forth asking each other questions and setting up plans to hang out. Thanksgiving was coming up soon, so getting together had to be sooner. The two of you arranged a day and time and you went to bed satisfied with how things were turning out.

           Later that week the two of you met up at a place called Muffet's. It was a lovely cafe, run by an attractive spider monster and little monster spiderlings. You spotted Stretch at the sitting counter chatting away to whom you presumed was Muffet. You thought you were early, only to discover that Stretch had already been there for over an hour already. After a somewhat shy greeting, you ordered your fave drink and snack and the two of you sat down at a little two person table by some bookshelves and a few potted plants. The plants had a few cobwebs but it was nice and cozy.      You went over the situation again, making sure that he knew he had the opportunity to back out at any time. He just chuckled, “hey its all good. we've all  bean there, and I don't mind helping out a new friend”

You covered your mouth in an attempt to hide your laughing. “Did you just??” Stretch just nodded and winked, popping a sucker in his mouth.          Once you had composed yourself, the two of you chatted about your family and little details. Once everything was settled you moved on to asking questions about each other. Stretch told you proudly about his brother, and a little about what it had been like on the surface for them. Before you knew it, the streetlights were flickering and you decided it was best to call it a night. You could always continue texting. The two of you parted ways, and as you watched him walk away down the side walk you grinned wide and called out.

“Hey, Stretch?” He turned his head to acknowledge you.

“Thanks a latte, it really means a lot,” you smiled. He chuckled deep, you blinked and he was gone.

        The two of you spent the rest of the week texting back and forth, and playing video games together on your fave console. Thanksgiving came quicker than you had anticipated but you woke that day mostly excited. On the radio ‘I do Adore’ was playing and you got ready with a bounce in your step. Stretch was fun to hang out with, and you kinda missed him? You cleaned up and upon checking the weather, (it was actually going to be a warmish and sunny day today) decided on bright pink shorts, a green tank top and for good measure you threw on your big light yellow sweater. After grabbing something to eat for breakfast you gathered all your things, (keys, phone, wallet, check!) you put on your light purple sneakers and headed out the door. You figured you would wait on your front steps for Stretch to arrive. It was a nice enough day. He pulled up in a honey gold two door sedan and popped open the passenger door from inside. As you got in, you noticed in the back seat were a few bags with snacks and a large couple bottles of honey. You eyed him questioningly and he chuckled lightly.

“Figured it was a bit of a drive, just in case you got munchy before we got there. Didnt know if you had time for breakfast or not,”

     You mentally squealed, that was super thoughtful, even though you had already eaten. You told him as much and he just nodded, turning on the radio. You didn't object, but you kinda grinned when you noticed the orangish hue that had gathered just on his nasal ridge. Apparently he had put on a playlist since Final Girl by Graveyardguy came on, and  that was definitely not top 40. You turned it up, and he looked over at you inquisitively.

“Its one of my favourites right now,” you shrugged. You were glad that you had already sent him directions, sometimes trying to guide someone by memory was a pain in the ass. The two of you enjoyed the rest of the ride there, it wasnt too long of a drive.       When you arrived, you jumped out of the car eager to stretch your limbs a bit. You waited by the front steps for Stretch, as he parked and locked the car. As you were waiting Sarah threw open the door.

“Ohhhhh y/n! You're here! Isnt that lovely,” she drawled out, pulling you into a very obvious fake hug. You stiffened like a board but let her do it anyway, awkwardly patting her on the back. “Yep. Im here. Yaaaay.” you retorted with a hint of sarcasm.

“Oh! But where is that guy you were seeing? Grams said you were bringing him?” she smiled mischievously, looking around you pointedly. You coughed, and pulled yourself out of her grasp.

“Yes, well you see-” you started, when Stretch's voice called out like a beacon.

“He bailed on our girl quite some time ago, so I'm the date.” He stated, pointing to a pin of a date on his sweater. When you noticed what it was you covered your mouth to hide the fact you felt like cackling. He putting his hand out to shake Sarah’s and she recoiled with a fake smile.

“Ohhh yesss. Well I see. I think I hear my fiancé calling, but please the two of you come inside.” she backed up and practically ran inside. You had to stifle a laugh. You muttered a thanks, and he whispered no problem. As soon as you stepped inside you were practically bombarded by children. A few were pulling you into the living room, some wanted you to come out back. Stretch kneeled down and beckoned them close, whispering something. They all ran off screaming and laughing into the yard, giving you some space and time to breathe.  

“What on earth did you say to them?” you asked while clutching your sides laughing. He grinned in response.

“That’s for me to know, and for you to find out,”

you smirked and let it be for now. You looked around, it was a pretty full house. Your parents, aunts uncles cousins, a couple sets of great uncles and Aunts, and your grandparents too. It seemed whatever Stretch had said, had all the young kids outside in the yard. Some of the older teens were downstairs on their devices and playing video games probably.  Your thoughts were interrupted by your Gram calling you, and Stretch took your hand and let you lead him over.  He introduced himself quite suavely and your grandparents were clearly satisfied. The two of you sat near, and chatted a while. Sarah came in to the sitting room practically dragging her fiancé behind her, and almost shoved him in your face.

“Here Y/n! This is Greg, my fiancé. He is a lawyer, isn’t he just wonderful?” She gushed. The poor guy looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

“Nice to meet you,” you nodded, and he gratefully slid away into a corner beside Sarah's father.

“So. When did you start dating Mr. skeleton?” Sarah asked, plopping herself down beside you. You shifted over a little, but smiled sweetly.

“A couple weeks now, since what’s-his-face dumped me.” You figured most of the truth was a good idea. Stretch just nodded beside you. Sarah just smiled painfully and left you alone, she was clearly not going to get a rise out of you tonight. 

      Your aunt called everyone to the tables for supper, and Stretch led you to the youth table and sat down beside you. You blushed, he had remembered what you told him about thanksgivings past. After everyone at the adult table had said their stories, desert was served. The kids were nonstop telling you and Stretch their stories, and once or twice you caught him looking your way adoringly. It wasn't unpleasant, and actually felt quite natural. Like he just fit. After the meal was done, you let the kids drag you out both outside. You watched them play a few games for a while, leaning into Stretch sleepily. He just leaned back a little and let you doze off on his shoulder. When you awoke, you were laying on your front porch furniture with a note next to you. It read:

hey y/n, you had dozed off hard, so I just took a shortcut to get you home, everyone understood. Thanks for inviting me, I actually had lots of fun. cant wait to hang out again

-stretch

You went inside with the biggest smile on your face, and butterflies in your stomach.

[michaelreaderreblog]

My truemate pt10

Catch up here ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE

*************************************************************

Word Count: 2,515

“Its nice to meet you Dean, Y/n you know its ok I can find a ride to pick me up. I can call my brother, you dont need to drop me off” he says stepping away from you and you go stand beside Sam.

“You know thats how exactly you look like when you saw Sarah at the sewing shop” you whisper to him as the both of you look at Dean who is just struggling to form anything together.

“Are you sure? I have no problems with driving you home” you say to Castiel while he is dialing his brothers number on his cell phone.

“Michael, would it be alright if you came to pick me up at 174 Poughkeepsie Road?” Castiel goes silent for a moment for his brother to answer his question.

“I work with y/n, she hired me today” he goes silent again.

“Ok I will wait here then” he hangs up the phone with his brother.

“Is he going to pick you up?” Sam asks breaking the silence that has been lurking in the office.

“Yeah he said he is going to be by in a minute, he said he was doing a delivery near by and said wouldnt be a problem” he says getting his jacket from the couch.

“I could walk you to the door and wait with you outside” you say moving to the door.

“I could” Dean finally says after so long.

“NO!! Sam stay with Dean while I go wait with Castiel” you growl to Dean and Sam does what he is being told.

Castiel who looks on and has a smile on his face while walking out of the office with you.

“Well seems as though I found my mate” he says as you both walk out of the house and sit on the porch steps to wait for his brother to drive up the long drive way to pick up Castiel.

“Well so much for us adopting” you say while looking away from Castiel almost sounding hurt at the rejection and he looks to you with a wide smile and gives out a slight chuckle.

“Sorry about that” Castiel says while he sits on the front porch steps waiting for his brother.

“What does he smell like to you?” you ask out of curiosity and wanted to make sure he will treat Dean right just like you hope your brother would do the same.

“His scent smells like wood shavings, a very pleasant musk, and if I concentrate enough I can smell a rain forest. His scent tells me he is a hard working man who provides for his family, protects whats his and someone who is kind. It even also smells like mine” he says while closing his eyes to memorize the scent Dean gave off back in the office.

As soon as he finishes and opens his eyes is when Michael pulls into the drive way and parks in front of the house. He steps out of his truck and immediately you can smell his scent and all you wanted to do was attack him until his knot swelled up inside you.

“Y/n? You are beginning to smell like slick, you having your heat?” Castiel asks as he gets up from the step to go into the truck.

“What? No. I will see you tomorrow ok. Bye Castiel” you say as you rush into the house before Michael could catch your scent that Castiel as has picked up once you got up from the steps.

“That was rather abrupt, I didnt get the chance to introduce you to her” he says coming down the stairs and stands beside his brother.

“Its alright Castiel, I already met her” Michael says opening the door for his younger brother.

“Oh you have? When?” he asks getting into the passenger side.

“The first day they got here, they came by Connor's diner. Dick of course was being a Dick towards Y/n and yeah Im pretty sure you know how that goes” he says putting the truck in reverse.

“You were there when all that happened?” he asks looking to his older brother.

“Yeah I was there. Anna was away on business and I didnt feel like cooking so thats where I went” he says looking away from the road to look at his brother for a quick second.

“Yeah I wouldnt want to eat your cooking either so good call on going to the diner” he says smiling to his brother and getting a chuckle out of Michael.

“Hey watch it little brother, I could just toss you out and make you walk home” he says while he gently hits his arm they both laugh at the retort.

“How did you get the job with Y/n?” Michael asks as he focuses on the road.

“I think mom told her and today she called and asked if I could come in. I agreed but we are going to do a week trial to see how things go between me and the work along with her and I” Castiel says looking to his brother.

“Well Im happy for you, keep your mind off things” Michael says quietly as he looks away from Castiel.

“Castiel, I know its been tough and still is. I just want to tell you I am very happy, relieved, grateful, and thankful you are still here because I dont know what I would do if I lost you. Or how mom and dad would feel. What Lucifer did and how he passed is a way of showing how much he sacrificed himself to have you here. The loss of Lucifer still affects us all today but when we look at you, its a feeling you have no idea on how we feel because we love you so very much for you to be here never forget that. I know you carry around this feeling of guilt but I just want you to hear it from me that its not your fault, you are living proof that Lucifer died a hero and living proof that there could be goodness in the world.” Michael says as he pulls the truck over to move closer to his brother, places a hand on his shoulder while he tells him.

Michael didnt realize how teary eyed he got when tears started to fall and land on his leg. Castiel sits there speechless about what his brother is telling him and how incredibly relieved he feels for hearing that for the first time, he didnt think that his brother would feel this way.

“Thank you Michael really. Dad has told me this before and I know how much it hurts you along with our parents to see me this way. I just miss him so much” Castiel says quietly as they pull into town and getting near the house.

“I miss him as well. Even though we had our differences that doesnt change one bit on how much I love him. I miss him dearly.” Michael says as he keeps driving.  

“There is another thing that I want to tell you before I drop you off” he says driving by their parents house and turning unto another street to turn around to drive towards Connor's diner.

“Ok but where are we going?” he asks looking at the house they are driving away from.

“We are going to the diner because I dont want mother eaves dropping on our conversation. I know how she is going to react about what I am about to tell you.” he says getting onto the street where the diner in located.

“Is Anna pregnant?” he asks whipping his head to his brother.

“No, she isnt. Its a health problem if she is pregnant, you should know that” he answers his brother and turning into the parking lot of the diner.

“Yeah but with safety precautions it can be possible” he says looking around the parking lot to see if the evening rush has busied the diner.

Its a health risk if a Beta becomes pregnant knowing that their bodies arent equipped the same way as an Omega who can birth pups very easily the way they are suppose to. Its a toss between the Beta dying during pup birth or having a miscarriage early in the pregnancy.

With safety precautions from the Doctor and taken very seriously will ease the Beta into a risk free delivery and the pup will be as healthy. If these instructions werent taken seriously then there would be a risk of miscarriage and that happens mostly if it werent taken seriously by the Doctor.

Both brothers get out of the truck to walk in the direction of the main entrance, Michael opens the door for Castiel to walk in first.

They seat themselves at a two person table in the middle of the diner and a waitress comes to take their drink order.

“Well its the Cuthbert boys, glad to see you Castiel” Dorothy says.

“Well its good to see you to Dorothy” he says looking to her with a smile on his face.

“What can I get ya?” she asks taking out a note pad from her apron pocket.

“I'll have coffee and water.” Michael answers looking up to Dorothy.

“Ok, how about you Castiel?” she asks nodding in agreement with Michaels drink order.

“I will have a tea and water” he answers her.

“Alright I will be right out, just let me know if either of you want something to eat” she says and walks away from the table to get the coffee for Michael and tea for Castiel.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” he looks to his older brother.

“Its about y/n” is all Michael says looking to his younger brother.

“What about her?” he asks almost sounding like he doesnt want him to answer that question but is curious to what he will say.

“She is my mate, my true mate” he says with a smile forming at the corners of his mouth.

“What? What about Anna?” he asks.

“I havent told her yet and Im working up to it” he says looking away from him and looks to Dorothy who brings out their drinks.

“Michael you better tell her. If y/n truly is your mate then what does she smell like?” he asks leaning in closer to him.

“Her scent smells like freshly grinded coffee, with the smell of banana's and a sweet smell of caramel” he says with a smile on his face and looking to his brother.

“What does that tell you?” he asks giving his older brother a questioning look.

“Hard working, vibrant, nurturing, and mine” he says.

“I have always wanted a mate who is as hard working as I am and not just an Omega whose only job is to give birth to my pups or only serves me just because society has told them to. I just want an equal and she is my equal. I still have to talk to Anna about this. There was a time when she said she would let me go if my true mate ever came along” he says taking a sip from his coffee.

“And what about now? You think she is going to do that?” Castiel asks unsure if Anna will give up that easily knowing how in love she is with Michael.

“I dont know but I do hope that she understands, I have always said I wanted to settle with my true mate. I know how this sounds so unfair but cant seem to take y/n off my mind” Michael says to his brother.

“Yeah it does sound unfair. You want to know what I think though?” he asks his older brother.

“Please enlighten me from the guilt I am having right now because I have someone who is Anna when my true mate lives in the same town as us” he sighs in defeat.

“I think you should end things with Anna and explain yourself. I know she will understand when there is a true mate involved, dont get me wrong I like Anna but you deserve a true mate and thats y/n. I want to see you truly happy Michael I mean really happy” he says to his older brother in hopes he would do the right thing in talking to Anna.

They both finish of their coffee and Tea to pay for their drinks and head on home.

After you rush inside the house and lean against the door to wait for the slick to settle but that doesnt happen. You didnt feel uncomfortable well other than whats dripping from you and went rushing down the stairs to go into the room that was made specifically for your heats. Dean and Sam are still in your office and you heard them call for you.

“Not right now guys” you say while closing the room door behind you to lock it.

You go through the closet to look for the box of toys that were placed in there during the time while moving into the house.

“Your heat coming on?” Dean asks faintly on the other side of the closed door.

“Dean please not right now” you yell back and finally looking for the box, you opened it to find what exactly you were looking for.

You strip off your clothes as fast as you could when you stumbled on top of the bed to get your jeans off.

After several minutes to your self well pleasing yourself, you dress slowly to get out of the room and up the stairs to the main bathroom to shower.

“Y/n what was that all about?” Dean asks as soon as you enter the kitchen.

“Really? You want me to answer that?” you ask while turning beet red out of embarrassment.

“How many times have I told you not to be ashamed of your heats, especially when telling me because I dont want anything happening to you during those times. You know what happens when your heat comes along, you get severely dehydrated and thats what always scares me the most.” he says looking at you with fear all over him and you can even smell it off of him, you get up from your chair to embrace him with a hug.

“I know, calm down. It wasnt my heat, Michael came by to pick up Castiel and um” you pull away from Dean at the mentions of Michael's name and look away from him.

“Ohh” is all that he could say and continue on what he was doing which is cooking.

“The mate thing really hit ya hard huh” he says while he makes a pot of coffee.

Dean has always worried about you when your heats came along, the first time you presented as Omega is when you got severely dehydrated and passed out in bed. He came into the room and placed you in the bathroom to let the cool water run and placed you in the tub to cool you off.

**********************

TAGLIST

@freerebelmentality

@enthusedbycuriosity

@sia-del

@animegirlgeeky

[perfectionistincrisis]

Day 70

Seventy.

Life is going on. With ups and downs. Good days and bad days. Well life is mostly grey for me. 

As every day passes, i just realize more and more how much i love him. I really dont want to bluff about it but I just couldnt stop from typing it out because the realization blows my mind away. And one big reason is because I would never do what i did, or can do for him, and no one will ever mean anything even remotely close to how much he meant to me and will always mean to me. 

This might all just sound like a cheesy note any person in love would say but Oh God! trust me, this is what comes to my head after quite a good number of not-so-nice crap i have in my big fat head. So yeah! thats how i just know. This is not ever going away. And if I ever got a chance to re-live, i wouldn’t have wanted to fall in love with anyone else, orrrrrrrrrrr id just wish I was alone. That’s pretty cool tooo!! lol 

Speaking of which. Yeah. I pretty much do enjoy my own company. I just dont like communicating much with people. for a lot of reasons actually. Well, to begin with. I believe im a really complicated person. LIke, everyone has their own story and theres something twisty about everyone and bla bla but then I really do thing Im just not that easy to understand, and to top all that, I dont even like opening up to people so thats more of a reason to not get me. I am kind of aware of the fact that i seem to have a lot of ego and seem to be filled with pride and arrogance. But thats not true, thats just how some people see me, and i cant blame them because i think that is something i mask myself with. However, many people do find me really sweet and all but whatever side anyone sees, its always clear, im not really interested in getting too close with anyone and that i appreciate my own space. Sometimes, i do wonder if i really do enjoy being on my own or i actually want some good friends. But then the thing is, i have really really good friends back from high school. the only thing is, theyre not in the same country, theyre far away. but then again, even when we were all on ksa, we still mostly communicated on social media and stuff so it shouldnt matter much i guess. what im trying to say is. despite all the misunderstanding people might have with me, or people actually finding me sweet or whatever. or me not liking them much or wanting them to be my friends or whatever. the thing is, its not that i dont have anyone at all. because i do have people who know me. they dont know every little detail about me though, and thats because i dont talk much to them either. but they know me as a person. like i dont need to kiss their ass to get their attention, i can be myself with them.. i can be mean, and rude, or not keep in touch or act like im full of ego, like im so full of my shit and theyd still accept me. because they know that thats just how i am. im not sugarcoated. 

But.. it still doesnt matter

What im saying is. I prefer sitting alone on my own. doing literally nothing. no phone. no laptop. no means of communication with the outside world OVER actually chatting with anyone. or even someone who knows me so well and is close to me. 

Ok man, i talk a lot! So yeah that’s the thing! but when we were together, i wouldve done anything to not miss a chance to talk to him lol - thats just an easy way to put it out there, that he was different. 

And also putting it out there how my life is right now. I prefer my own company. I dooooo badly wish i had a ‘partner’ though - an ‘eating partner’!!!!!! haha! I really wish i could go to restaurants with someone to try food randomly. But then. idk. i mean its not that easy to find someone who has the same love for food and aso someone whos willing to spend money to try food or someone whod be able to hang out with me. especially i dont even have any good friends in ksa right now Ugh

Another really important reason i dont like talking to people much is the commitment. I hate commitment!!!!!!! And when i say commitment i dont even mean something serious like being in some relationship. i mean.. even the smallest commitment. like when you even knock someone and the person expects you to reply fast. Like okay give me a break! We dint exchange vows or something, yth do i need to reply fast. or whyd you even expect me to reply fast like idk. do people just pause their lives and just talk to other people? bleh Im not even ready for that so yeah! 

buttttttttt then again - with him. it was SO different. but like i said. it was only him!!!!

Something cool was the fact that i had a dream of him the other day. we never met each other f2f after our last conversation, so him in my dream was the first time we met f2f which wasnt actual anyways!!! But!!! I was so full of attitude. Like I could totally see my facial expressions and go like. “Oh God Youuu” to myself! Im usually full of attitude in front of other guys, if i ever am, which is kinda rare. just saying! 

So i read his post about him going to bd and stuff, and i wont even lie about how i totally never like that. but then this time its different obviously. In many ways though. One way to look at it is how i just remembered about the time when he was in bd last year! ~~~ And the award for the roughest of all times goes to!!!! 

Now comes the part were I actually give the reason why I dont blog much! Well tbh i want to blog all the time. But then!!!! Who am i kidding???? Its obviously cause I want him to read my post and blabla so yeah I dont! I mean. I really want to, but i dont. The same way. Forget blogging man. I mean. In this generation, with all these advancements and i say, no barrier at all. If we could decide like two mature adults to stop talking for nothing but good intentions then i sure as hell can keep myself from blogging about every little thing, and keep my shit together, and only blog when my mind and my heart says that i got it in my hands and im not going to screw up! 

and so that would mean that anything i post about, is just a very little, incomplete detail of the entire story and i almost always will sugarcoat it a million times and put it up here! 

but like i said - every thing just ends with me realizing how in love i am with him and as long as that is how it ends, i like it. 

So “losing weight” is like the --aim of my life-- right now. Just that its so boring oh maa gawd - and so i end up watching suits. which is soooooo niiiceeeeee omgg. And i actually love the couple there. Mike & Rachel! - oh and also its kinda funny to me idk why but whenever i see any couple onscreen that i like, my inner me kinda teases me going like “sarah, you loser!!!!!” and then i look down from the screen for a second or two like an actual loser would doo and then yeah i just “laugh it away” - like silently! ~ No hard feelings!

umm.so yeah i was saying. The main thing is losing weight and i want to lose one kg a week WHICH I AM NOT BY THE WAY. so i kind of get sad from time to time and all, and then idk get ok with it, and then sad again and alll that. and then battling myself against food is there. Today though i kind of figured out that if i watch suits while on the treadmill ill kinda stay distracted, and it wont be boring anymore and ill be able to go somewhere i guess. 

so theres around 9 weeks left for uni to open and i wish vacation never ended but yeah lets just face reality. And about my brother, 6 weeks left.   So that means I wna lose around 9 kgs before uni reopens but its smart to kind of plan a bit more than you actually want so that if you dont totally achieve your goal youll still land somewhere good. if you know what i mean. 

Now there is a lot i want to say. SO muchh. But I cant be fooling myself. It would obviously be for him only. So Ill just hold everything back in!!!!!! 

But one thing I want the world to know

Everyone has their own problems and their own imperfection and perfections and whatever. But ever since I had my eyes on him, i knew he was different. infact that is exactly why i liked him in the first place. I dont wna go in depth with this but ill just say it in the simplest way I can. 

When I was with him, yes, I did pray for a fairytale story. But not an actual one. because those dont exist. I had my own modified version of a fairytale ending. And in their, everything was not perfect. Everyone was not perfect. there was pain, there were people who didnt know what they were worth. All I ever wanted is to be the person to be ale to mend hearts, to help someone find their way out from the sufferings, to be a part of someone happiness. And even though we are not together right now. I wish the same. I just wanted it to be through me before. Now it doesnt necessarily need to be, cause it definitely will be coming from Allah both ways inshaAllah. 

I pray he gets to see what I see in him. And what people see in him. And most importantly, what he sees in himself but fails to value at times. 

P.S. My family is excluded from consideration in this post. when i talk about people, i mean everyone else except my family.  --ALSOOOOO-- I just randomly sat down at 5am and decided to blog today and so i sat with my laptops and this is all what flowed outta me! 

A totally random post! 

BUT i do wna mention how the tumblr app on my phone s.u.c.k.s. Cant give notifications properly *&^&%&^$%&%*^(0

Bye c: 

[welcometothe-black-parade]

I accept your dare - answer all of them

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

I’m not sure. 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

yeah sure, I’m 19 it wouldn’t be a big deal unless they were still in high school. christ this ask game has been going around for years i remember answering this when i was 153. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

last friday at a party with my friends4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I do all the time and my friends yell at me to stop but im too polite i can’t help it5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

a lot of my friends are mad at me for talking to someone…6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

not yet today7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

answered!8. How often do you listen to music?

as often as i can9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans def10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

…

(SORRY ILL PUT THE REST UNDER THE CUT LMAO

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

answered!12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

i’m not sure…13. What about ‘R’?

i feel like an awful person I don’t know the name of the last person i kissed!!14. Can you drive a stick shift?

can’t even drive 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

well yeah, mostly i just wanna know what theyre saying so i can shut down any false rumors. people have said some weird shit about me. 16. Are you going out of town soon?

yeah, I’m going back to my hometown for a few days, and then i’m going to alaska. i’m scared.17. When was the last time you cried?

yesterday or the day before, or maybe this morning idk finals are fucking me up and personal shit is happening at the exact same time18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah, in a platonic way.19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

no not at all, I have green eyes i’ve won the lottery imo 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

im not sure21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I’m not focusing enough on my work and its stressing me out so much22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

so cute!!23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

no but im rooming with her next semester24. What are you sitting on right now?

an uncomfortable wooden chair25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

yeah, my friends!26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

yep.27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

it was my buddy @cu-curu-gol at like 4am??? lmao28. Do you get a lot of colds?

no but i get fucktons of allergies and sinus stuff29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

i honestly forget probably gap or some shit its old30. Does anyone hate you?

probably31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

I don’t, im straightedge but my roommate might32. Do you like watching scary movies?

yeah!! my fave is hush but i watched creep the other night with my friends and it was so good33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

nah34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

2011.35. Did you have a dream last night?

yeah, it was a bad one.36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

I forget honestly37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

not at all38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

answered!39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

probably not.40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

no it was awful actually41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

don’t even have to think no42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

yeah, considering i go to a womans college lmao43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yeah. I don’t think I believe them.44. What’s the best part about school?

everything except finals i love my school 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

many many46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

no we just whisper and make snarky comments 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

all the time48. Were you single over the last summer?

yep.49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

not at all and im very happy for that, but my depression has come back a bit. 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

studying or writing my 3 essays51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

no, but i don’t know what to feel honestly.52. Are you nice to everyone?

I try my best to be.53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yeah, too many times54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

yes of course, if you can’t last 6 months you don’t deserve to be in a relationship and you’re scum in my eyes tbh55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

sort of???56. Do you think you like someone?

unfortunately 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

i HAVE NO IDEA AND I FEEL SO BAD but she was super drunk and she initiated it so like im not a total shit i promise 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

girls def but gender is fake 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

many of them60. Do you hate anyone?

no, I don’t think so.61. How’s your heart?

not at it’s best. it’s a little fractured atm. 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

yes. yes there is. 63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

fucking unfortunately 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

I hope it’s no one, but probably my brother tbh65. Are your toenails painted pink?

no i havent painted my toes in months66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

i hope not!! but it might be, knowing me it almost definitely will be. 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

that makes it sound sadistic, I wouldn’t love it, i would be so sad if my boyfriend cried, probably enough to cry myself, but its definitely preferable to a boy who just bottles up all his emotions and only expresses his negative emotions through anger.68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

I dont think so but honestly i wouldn’t put it past myself69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

a guy named andrew at the bank lmao70. How do you look right now?

shit71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

yeah72. Can you commit to one person?

i want to73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

sort of?74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yes.75. Did you wake up cranky?

yep76. Are you a jealous person?

i wish i wasnt but i can be so awfully jealous and i hate it about myself

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

i’ve never been in one but yes i believe they are. just because things end don’t mean it wasn’t worth it.78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

not yet79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

my friends tonight hopefully80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

start writing my essays81. Last person you cried in front of?

um, I think it was my friend sarah?82. Is there someone you will never forget?

yes, a lot of people.83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

doubt it84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

just sitting around studying and talking a bit85. Are you over your past?

not quite. 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

yeah 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

sort of88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

i haven’t really had a first true love yet89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

I honestly don’t know if i’d recognize her90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

yep…91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

hah no92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

yeah but we call him magoo93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

nope94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

nope95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

yeah i guess96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

…yes…he is….97. Who do you have texts from?

none that are unanswered98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I would tell them to go for it, and try my best to support them but i would be really sad.99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeah, the oldest guy i kissed was 21 when i was 18100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

on facebook its a horse named eli101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

not yet102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yeah, i hate and love the feeling.