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burglarbagginsbag · 3 years

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Alright so I have this fic idea which I’m probably not going to write out bc I’m not fluent in English BUT my idea that i had for a bamf!Bilbo bagginshield fic:

Everyones already seen it and probably read it but Bilbo is a bamf (AU)

Important background information: Bilbo is like half dwarf (regarding strength, life expectancy, etc) but still has the appearance of a hobbit which is why (even though he has been out on adventures already) he was able to settle down in the shire and blend in with the mass without any problems

So when Gandalf goes to bag end to recrute Bilbo as a burglar Bilbo recognizes him immediately bc they’ve been on adventures together before (and yes bilbo is happy to see gandalf bc im a sucker for bilbo and gandalf being friends)

And Gandalf is like “ok you see theres this dwarf king and his 12 ppl who need to reclaim their homeland and i dont want them to get themselves killed by accident so could you go with them?”

and bilbo is like “i actually have enough gold i dont rly need a new job but it sounds kinda fun, bring them over for dinner and then tell me more”

So Gandalf is satisfied and tells thorin and his company that they are expected for dinner

When Bilbo prepares for the evening he watches out that some of his curls cover his eyes and a part of his face and puts on baggy clothes so his stature isnt revealed bc no one outside the shire really knows what bilbo looks like - they only heard stories about him and bilbo wants to keep it this way

Dwalin arrives and is like “at your service” and Bilbo is actually polite and everything, shows him the dining room and welcomes dwalin and dwalin is like “??? isnt this a hobbit shouldnt he be kinda freaked out? ok guess gandalf was right when he said that this dud is chill”

and so bilbo welcomes all the dwarfes (except thorin of course bc this dwarf lost his way twice) and they are all a bit surprised by the hospitality but dont complain

So movie verse they eat and throw food and all and even though bilbo is not pleased he doesnt say anything but observes his guests, cocks an eyebrow at gandalf from time to time while gandalf shoots him half amused half apologetical smiles

And then thorin knocks, everyones going silent again and gandalf says “he’s here”

And Bilbo opens the door by himself looks at the dwarf while thorin just enters not even looking at bilbo but greeting gandalf and you see in gandalf’s face that he is half panicking about what bilbo will say but bilbo just snorts amused and goes back to the dining room

gandalf follows him so the rest of the company follows gandalf and bilbo just shoots a look at the wizard like “are you serious you said dwarfs are coming here not unpolite and ungracefull beings without manners”

Gandalf tries to cough the awkwardness away “ALRIGHT, now that we’re all here we shall discuss the plan!!”

And Thorin just doesn’t get it, he doesnt get why gandalf seems so nervous around the hobbit whose name he doesnt even know (he leans into Balin and asks for the hobbits name out of pure interest but balin just shrugs realizing that the hobbit hasnt given away his name to anyone)

So now they entered the hobbit hole, ate bilbos food and dont even know what he completely looks like or what his name is

Gandalf repeats the plan mostly for bilbo so he knows whats going on and after the wizard is done bilbo hears a “thats what we need a burglar for!”

And gandalf looks so done bc he looks at bilbo and bilbo just snorts and smirks because all his life and after all he has done he has never been called a simple “burglar”

Bilbos occupation is the following: his mother was still belladonna and a took and his father was like mentioned above a dwarf, so while both of them died they still taught him a lot. His father showed him how to fight in general and with a sicklesword and how to throw knives. Training was never a problem for bilbo because (half dwarf) he has a lot of potential strength. His mother taught him about stealth and plants especially poisonous ones so soon bilbo was not only able to fight but to make mixtures of poisons and still being as quiet as only a hobbit can be

Bilbo’s father was a warrior and had to go on a mission but he knew that the enemy had information and that by just “kiling them off” the information would be lost. Having trained his son for many years and knowing that bilbo can be completely silent and probably deadly if desired he decides to take bilbo with him, bilbos mission is to knock someone out with a throwing knife to the shoulder which is covered in narcotics

Bilbo does an excellent job and his father is impressed and is like “i know you’ve never seen anything like this, youve never killed we only trained but i think you would be ready to fight by my side after we got our information out of this dude”

And Bilbo is both really good at fighting and at getting information out of the dude (I imagine him using some non toxic but pain bringing mixtures)

Bilbo and his father return home safely and Bilbo finds himself both guilty and thrilled bc he just killed like A TON of people with his father but at the same time it was exciting and he has this itch in his fingertips to do it again

After some years both of his parents die and not being able to stay in the Shire due to the memories bilbo travels through middle earth, hides his identity and then he hears someone in a pub talking about “killing someone for the better and how he would give a ton of gold to the person who could take out his target” and bilbo is like “oh” and goes out, satisfies the itch in his fingers, kills the person and demands his gold

The news spread like fire and everytime rumors come up about someone that should be killed for a good purpose bilbo will investigate, see if the person should really be killed, and if so will take the person out and demand his gold

Back to present events Thorin is like “do you think this is funny, hobbit? do you think the legacy of my kin is something you are allowed to laugh about? what do we need a hobbit for anyway?”

And Bilbo just pats his shoulder takes the contract that Gandalf held in his hands without saying anything and starts reading it

after he is done everyone looks at him not sure if they should be impressed or unnerved by this hobbit who seems to think so highly of himself that he can disrespect the king

but before anyone could say anything bilbo has signed the contract while looking at thorin from under the curls that covers his eyes giving him a smug smile and you just see that thorin is “this” close to snapping

Bilbo asks when they depart and gandalf says that they will leave by break of day

Thorin considers leaving earlier so they dont have to take the hobbit with them but doesnt say anything

Next day the dwarfs expect bilbo to have a ton of bags with him and that he would be in disadvantageous robes for traveling and they could laugh about him

But the sight they are greeted with is just? (I actually have some concepts in my head for Bilbos outfit but i dont rly know if anyone wants to see them BUT)

Bilbo is wearing of course no shoes but he is wearing long trousers with leather armor around his shins and knees, flexible but still protecting him; he wears a thin chainmail and over that a normal shirt, his arms are protected by thin leather which still looks resilient; a dark cloak which is secured with a clip around his neck; starting by his collar bones down to his navel in a “v” shape are all in all 12 throwing knives attatched in holsters and a sickle sword hangs at each of his sides; his hair which reaches his shoulders is tied up in a simple bun and in front of his face there is a short veil so that only his lips are visible; sewn onto his belt he has like 20 little bottles with different mixtures and poisons and he carries one simple backpack

and the dwarfs are like??? armor??? which looks??? high quality??? weapons??? on this hobbit??????

and they turn to gandalf and gandalf just tries to suppress a laugh at the surprised faces bc he just knew that out of sulkiness bilbo would not even try to hide any of his weapons but present them to the dwarfs

and like this basically the movie verse story would be retold

and it would be a bagginshield fic - oh my god it would be a bagginshield fic

#the hobbit #bilbo baggins #my stuff

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a-gromova · 4 years

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Berlin long-post

Guys, this will be a very long post. VERY. Perhaps it will be something like an essay.

For the first time in many years, I can clearly say what level I like in the game (I can just as clearly name my favorite location only in the first season). Yes, I want to talk about Berlin (are there people who were left indifferent to the level?). I just want to express my thoughts, which came to my mind during the walkthrough. This is partly an attempt to piece together a puzzle of information about the characters (47, Grey, Olivia, Diana), which is diluted with screenshots. I would be glad if you read it and express your opinion. Maybe you will correct me or, on the contrary, supplement my words, because the stream of thoughts can take me completely in the wrong place.

Spoiler territory begins, so be careful. Well, in general, everything is the same as always: if you are too lazy to read, you can look at dicks pics, they are pretty good (I think).

For me, Berlin is Hieronymus Bosch in its purest form. The level is disgusting inside and out (and I say this in a positive way). This include the oppressive atmosphere of emptiness, the behavior of agents, dialogues, the very environment of the club. It's all so nauseous, so... unnecessary. But it attracts. Bosch. Bosch in its purest form. This captivates me. This is the dirt you want to plunge into.

We begin the level in a ringing void, in which the beating of the heart is heard like a bell. I still haven't decided for myself whether it's a heart beating of 47 or not, but MY heart seemed to be beating in unison with it. And as soon as the club appears on the horizon, the beat of the heart flows into a musical beat. It's great. I don't know about you, but I'm delighted.

During the first walkthrough I immediately wondered: who killed this poor fellow? And now it seems to me that it was Olivia. Especially when you consider that the corpse is close to the gas station and in the phone conversation she, shivering, reports that she SEEMS to have killed one of the agents. Why ''SEEMS''? Because, obviously, the injury was non-lethal. We can ''read'' it on the corpse: the knife is stuck in the left shoulder. Sloppy, as if in a rush /chase. The injury is not lethal, but the guy had a hard time. Perhaps he died of blood loss much later.

I was obsessed with an idea that we need to find targets ourselves. Previously Diana did it for us, but "she can't help us now". First, I was confused. But later my mood was like ''HOW COOL IT IS''. I don't know why some ppl consider ICA agents as not remarkable. Guys, c'mon, I didn't even immediately realize that there are more than 5 of them, and they are all different! Each has its own position, undercover role, manner of speech. The agents are amazingly described, and for me they stand in the same rate with Tamara Vidal now (an insanely smart and interesting woman).

Have you ever seen Montgomery??? It's just FDIFSDJFKJFDKFLDKFLJSL. Such a DICK. Too bad 47 just kicked the table. It could be a way better if 47 low the table on agent's head and jump on the top of it. Smth like a control shot jump. Such a disgusting character... I hope that he just compensates his small penis with his speeches, because I just wanted to break his face for what he'd say.

I think you've already understand what exactly pissed me off in his speech. Yeah, the mention of Grey.

Aaaaand let's smoothly move on to this. Now I want to step back a little from the discussion of Berlin itself and say something to everyone who had a hard time going through the scene after Dartmoor. Yes, Lucas was my light, my sunshine and my motivation to play over the past years. Yes, his death was a shock (such a shock that I said "fuck" and turned off the game after 47 appears near the gas station). But I do not like being sad for a long time. Like... SAD.

Listen. Listen. It would be bad if after death the character disappeared from everywhere forever. THAT would be crap. It would be bad if there was not a single mention of him in the game after his death. But... Berlin, Mendoza, that fcking train. We learn A LOT of information about Grey here, which complements his portrait. C'mon! Chechnya, guard's and agent's whispering. Yes, damn it, they are afraid of him. If 47 is a legend, almost a myth, then Grey seems to be the real incarnation of the devil for them. I repeat, they are afraid of him. Otherwise I don’t know why a huge well-armed group was send to capture him (which walks on the train in sapper armor). I just listened to all these dialogues with a malicious smile and was like hehehe dats mah boiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

After all, the character is still in the fandom, the fandom has no end, everyone in it is alive and happy. So, Lucas, lie down, do not twitch, and I will bring hydrogen peroxide and a first aid kit.

If you don't call me the best psychologist after that, just don't talk to me ever again.There is so much shit in life, no need to be sad in such a good fandom. Just DON'T.

Let's return to Berlin. Or rather to Rolf, the owner of the club. From the dialogues we understand that he knew Grey for a long time. At first I even thought that it was Rolf who gave 47 and Grey motorcycles. These ones:

But then I quickly realized that I had problems with geography, and there was simply no point in bringing bikes from Germany to England. By the way, an interesting point: in my mind bike doesn't fit 47. Any expensive and stylish car - yes. Lucas is the opposite. The bike fits him, but the car is not.

I don't know what kind of "business" they had there. But if you consider that Grey already had experience working with the Delgado's drug cartel (and Rolf, for a moment, has a cocaine warehouse in a club), this "business" could be is somewhat similar to a mutually beneficial partnership with Rico.

And the very dialogue between Montgomery and Rolf hints us what could have happened if the one man didn't die, you know. And that's cool too. "To help him and two friends out to... well, slip away". As I understand it, this is about the so-called "Team Grey" (Lucas, 47, Olivia). And after Dartmoor everyone was supposed to meet in the safehouse in Berlin. It was an ideal plan, if the Constant hadn't found Diana and Grey. The only question is what would they do next. Planning to capture Edwards again, based on the dossier we've took from Carlisle?

Hell, I love IO because they leave a huge part of the plot just in the dialogues, which makes the game extremely replayable. And every time you pass a level you just oh. OH! This allows players make their own guesses and put the puzzle together. Not to mention the little things that are just scattered around the location. At first I THOUGHT I saw Florida Man. Then I realized that it is not my imagination. This guy is generally the best flexer:

I will end the essay with a comparison of 47 and the club logo.

I love that the mission is called "Apex Predator" and the bikers' emblem bears Fenrir, an alpha predator from north myths that devours the sun. It is he who begins Ragnarok - the end of the world. It seems to me that this is a direct allegory to 47. It is in Berlin that his bloody procession begins, which puts an end to this story. But damn it, how nice to watch this end of the world.

That's it, I've already said a lot. Let me summarize briefly: 47 - alpha predator Lucas - lie down and don't move, I'm already going with a first aid kit Olivia - keep it up Diana - queen Montgomery - dick

#hitman 3 #Lucas Grey #agent 47 #Diana Burnwood #Olivia Hall #Berlin #hitman screenshots

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llendrinall · 4 years

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1/2 I love the way you write Draco and personally I think Draco would've been terrified during the war and somehow grew a pair and got the courage to work against Voldy on his own terms from inside the ranks. Working not for Dumbledore but for himself to get his parents out safe (Id think he polyjuiced 2 ppl/animals and imperiused them to act and think like his parents while his real parents were in hiding or something)

2/2 So I think he created a powerful organisation by himself as a teenager and kept it going long past the war. And the best part is it isnt even a evil organisation. Just one that has its hands in every single thing imaginable. The best part is that if another war broke out Draco's Organisation would be able to squash it in 10 seconds flat. The man is powerful and no one knows. Except for Harry who's his husband and knows fully well what he does.

It’s not just a question of courage, though. Or, at least, courage as we usually understand it. It’s about relations and how stories work.

You see, there is a reason why so many characters in stories are orphans or become orphans at the beginning of the story. The reason is that parents get in the way. There is this expectation that parents should be the ones fixing things, the ones with authority and with the last word. As long as parents are around, children have to obey and they can’t shoulder the story on their own.

In this case, Draco’s biggest and most immediate challenge isn’t finding a way to bring Voldemort down, or avoid arising His Darkness suspicions, or circumventing the always vigilant Bellatrix. No, the main obstacle is his parents and the fact that they won’t listen to him.

This is how Lucius gets himself sent to Azkaban. He didn’t listen.

Draco doesn’t set to create a powerful shadow organization that gives him insurmountable power. He is just a scared kid who wants to protect his mum. Sure, his mother says everything will be all right and that professor Snape will help, and aunt Bella says Draco will bring victory and honour to the house; but Draco is not so certain. He wants to believe them but he would feel better if he had other assurances.

So while his mother takes aunt Bella to go talk to Snape, Draco fills a cauldron with white wax and milk. He spends the whole night in his bedroom working with it and by sunrise he has a life-sized doll that makes a passable impression of Narcissa. Animating her is a bit more difficult because one book says to use spit and a candle and another book says to use blood. In the end he goes by a third book that says to use something living, so Draco grabs a mouse from the dungeons, lights a candle, drops some blood, puts the mouse inside the doll’s mouth and look at that, a breathing, moving and talking Narcissa!

True, she doesn’t talk that much. The process to create a fake wife was obviously intended so the wizard could steal the human wife and leave the doll behind, not the other way around. But she is good enough. Just in case, Draco pretends to have a fight with his mother and hex her in the heat of the moment. Bella screams at him for an hour and Voldemort says that he admires the lengths Draco is willing to go, but that he expects Draco not to get too carried away. The way he says it, as if laughing at Draco’s desperation, is horrible, just horrible. But, if Narcissa looks a bit lost from then on, nobody questions it.

The real Narcissa is trapped inside a mirror and beside herself with anger. Draco has to keep the mirror in a velvet bag inside a wooden box because he is afraid someone will hear his mother’s screams. The important part is that she is safe and if only she stopped coming to the mirror’s surface to yell at Draco she could admire the room Draco made for her, it is very nice.

Draco sets to do the Dark Lord’s bidding and kill Dumbledore. He does, he actually does. If it had been Potter, Draco might have acted differently. But it is Dumbledore and Draco could never stand the old fart, so he doesn’t feel bad about planning his death.

It is not after his third chat with Moaning Myrtle that it occurs to him that Voldemort expects Draco to fail. That bastard! Can you believe it? He tells Snape about it and Snape agrees which is even more incensing. Voldemort wants Draco to die. Snape assures him that it won’t be so and that he will ensure Draco’s success. The Malfoy family will be forgiven, of course, don’t fret about that. But all Draco can think about is how he is going to ensure Voldemort’s defeat.

First point of his plan: put a curse on any and all of Voldemort’s true followers. Draco is not completely satisfied with the wording because he knows Voldemort has many incidental and opportunistic followers, so perhaps “Death-Eater” would be better. But then again, not all of his true followers have a mark in the arm. Also, Draco has a mark of his own and he doesn’t want to curse himself.

The fact that no one has attempted a curse like this since the fifteenth century doesn’t faze him, nor that said attempt was a failure. There are many documented cases from the thirteen century that were successful and Draco is sure he can do as well as them if no better.

It is not easy to lay a curse like this. Draco doesn’t have the power to do it. Fortunately, he has the good sense to realize what his medieval counterparts took years to discover: no human has such power. He has to borrow it from another creature.

Thus Draco signs his first magic contract with a spirit from the cemetery at Hogwarts. It’s not a ghost and not whatever-the-fuck Peeves is. It is simply a spirit, one who is happy to give Draco a boost in exchange for some warmth and a fresh bouquet of flowers. Now Draco can turn invisible and wander around the restricted section of the library where he finds a lot about curses but not enough about people with whom he could make a pact.

Next he binds to a spirit haunting the crossroads before Hogsmeade. The spirit is happy to do Draco’s bidding in exchange for a secret, any secret. So Draco tells him that amortentia smells to him like Quidditch leather, and the Hogsmeade Crossroads Spirit looks around all the magic roads and tells Draco about the dark creatures moving between them.

Meanwhile Snape and Bella are getting on his case because Draco is no closer to killing Dumbledore and apparently his last attempts were, according to Snape, “stupid and lazy” and Draco ought to be ashamed of himself if he is not to even going to pretend to take this seriously. So Draco makes a trip to Knocturn Alley to examine the vanishing cabinet at Borgin and Burkes and advance the official plan a bit. He also visits the Malfoy vault at Gringotts.

He stays three hours in there, in the dark. When nothing happens, Draco brings out a bag and puts it over his head and he carefully and very, very, slowly begins to suffocate himself until he can see colourful sparks behind his eyelids and his lungs burn and finally, finally, he senses a malevolent presence, something made of the last exhalations of those who died inside the bank. The Exhalation of Gringotts is strong and cruel and drives a very hard bargain, but Draco wasn’t sorted in Slytherin simply because every other family member was and because he wished to be in that house. He knows to be careful and cunning, so he lets The Exhalation of Gringotts believe that staring at the sky from sunset to sunrise and then giving that sight to them (The Exhalation of Gringotts is a them) is a high price in exchange for their strength and their knowledge of pain.

Draco actually enjoys the night he spends looking at the sky and he promises to do it again, just for himself, and indeed the very next Friday he does.

He lays his curse the first Sunday of May. Waiting until June 24th would had been better but he can’t afford to wait so long. He needs it now, a curse on the fortune of any and all true followers of Voldemort.

He gives the Hogsmeade Crossroads Spirit three more secrets (the time he wished a kiss for himself, the truth of Bellatrix’ rage and one of his smallest pet peeves) and he finds how well his curse his doing and who should be his next target. As suspected, many of Voldemort’s followers have enough selfish motivations to escape his curse.

Draco doesn’t have anything of interest to offer the ondines, but the goblins do and the goblins merely want some historical artefacts back which is easy enough to arrange. He has to make a couple of new pacts with the Spirit of the Empty Grave and the Susurrus at Whitehall but he gets the artefacts for the goblins who, it turn, give whatever that thing was (it looked like a comb but it was not) to the ondines, who are happy enough to join Draco because he was very respectful and polite and apparently they were a bit miffed that both Voldemort and Dumbledore had ignored them. Somehow all this translates into people coming in contact with the river Avon and being instantly cleaned from the imperius curse. Not that many people come into contact with said river but accidents can be arranged if you have a couple of swarms at your service, which Draco has.

The swarms are by far the most joyful of Draco’s associates and also the hardest to please. Giving secrets to the Hogsmeade Crossroads Spirit is dangerous, sure, and balancing the requests of the Spirit from the Cemetery at Hogwarts and the Spirit of the Empty Grave can be lethal if he is not careful. But the swarms asked for a song each and it is not so easy to compose an original song, let alone two. Fortunately, the swarms were so pleased with Draco’s effort that as long as Draco writes them new verses from time to time they won’t even ask for another song or melody.

Draco takes a bit longer to secret Lucius away because he is very busy and also a bit angry with his dad. If only Lucius had listened to him, Draco wouldn’t have signed any contracts nor sworn pacts or shook hands with half the forgotten magical creatures of England. Said creatures are actually very nice and have quite interesting things to say. Less than half of them pose a direct threat of madness and/or death to Draco. But he didn’t know that back then and he is angry at his father for the risk he was force to take.

At least Narcissa seems almost happy and relieved when Draco pushes Lucius into the mirror. It’s nice that someone here (other than the swarms) appreciate Draco’s efforts.

Harry wins the war. There is no doubt about that. Harry is the one finding and destroying horcruxes and the one who kills Voldemort at the end.

But Draco helps. Draco gets him time and space. Harry Potter is the most wanted person in England and he spends months without anyone being able to find him, no Death Eater or werewolf or ogre or troll or any of the creatures that work for Voldemort. None. Sure, there is that time when Harry gets himself snatched, but there are twenty other times when he was not, including when he walked straight into Nagini’s jaws. It’s not Draco’s fault that Harry was captured that one time and it is certainly thanks to Draco that he managed to escape. So there.

Voldemort falls and Draco is happy to think that he had quite a lot to do with it.

And then…

Harry comes to him freely. Draco is sure of that. He did nothing about it. He even rejects Harry at first! But Draco has made so many pacts that he can’t be completely sure that his longing and wanting of Harry hasn’t triggered something. The wax doll playing Narcissa wasn’t supposed to save Harry’s life. Draco is endlessly grateful that she did, but he is also worried that his want might have had unexpected effects somewhere else. He knows he didn’t do anything, not consciously or willingly at least, but he also knows that he has been wanting Harry long enough that he can’t be absolutely certain that he didn’t magic Harry’s attraction to him.

Harry is hurt at Draco’s rejection and persistent. Merlin, he is so persistent! So Draco gives in and takes Harry for himself. He also promises all of his own self to Harry, his hand, his heart and all his virtues whatever they may be. If there is the smallest chance that Draco forced this, he will atone by making Harry delightfully happy.

Which is why Lupin miraculously heals form his wounds and why Longbottom’s parents get slightly better (well enough that they can recognize their son at least), and why the proposed werewolf reform is approved despite the vocal opposition against it.

It works. Harry is happy and Draco almost believes he deserves it when Harry smiles at him. And then, a month before they are set to marry Harry comes to him and says “okay, Draco, what did you do?”

“I talked to the caterer like you asked me to?”

“No, not that.” Harry says and before Draco can ask if he was supposed to do something else he says “and don’t play dumb.”

“Um…”

“Draco, the house-elf legislation!”

“What about it?”

“It was approved!”

“Really? Those are great news!” Draco smiles in delight and gets up. They are amazing news. Maybe Harry will kiss him. “Aren’t they?”

“Draco,” Harry says slowly. It doesn’t seem like he is going to kiss anyone. “There was NO WAY it could be approved. We proposed it because it’s the right thing to do, but we were ready to negotiate for some smaller measures and try again in ten years.”

Draco nods. Yes, that sounds sensible. Even a decade might not be enough to change people’s minds about elf ownership. A hundred years would be more like it.

“The werewolves was hard to believe already,” Harry goes on, sitting down on the armchair Draco had vacated. “But I thought we were just lucky when twelve members got sick with a stomach bug and couldn’t come to the vote. Well, I thought we were lucky. The honourable members for Knightsbridge launched an investigation, you know. They said there was foul play with the members for Essex but they couldn’t prove anything.”

Draco hums and grabs a chair to sit, resting his feet on the edge of the armchair and showing off the length of his legs. He isn’t worried. There is no way they can find anything about the honourable members for Essex because there is nothing to find. That had been a legitimate Quidditch accident that made all of them late to the vote. The honourable members for Hampshire, on the other hand, yes, there was certainly foul play in there. Once the blue-folk learned how they were being taken advantage of they made such a riot that the honourable members for Hampshire didn’t have a single minute to spare to think about a stupid vote back in London that was destined to fail. That’s what happens when a hundred years of delayed legislation catches up to you.

“But that was then.” Harry says, his arm coming to rest over Draco’s leg and his whole body unconsciously turning towards Draco. He couldn’t be too angry then. “Today the legislation to end house-elf ownership has been approved, 59 to 57, and freaking Thurman Goldfich changed his mind. So tell me, Draco, what did you do?”

“I merely expressed my wishes to some of my associates.” Draco says, which is such an obscene understatement. He had to deploy the goblins in twelve constituencies where they put the local economy to a stop and then waited for the corresponding representative of the Wiz-Parliament to come talk to them, at which point the goblins expressed their views on current economic trends and how unfair it was to use slave labour and how unless they were willing to impose tariffs on house-elf labour they might as well stop doing business with the wizarding community altogether because it wasn’t worth it.

Draco ventured that this would go down better than any inter-species solidarity argument. If wizards thought that goblins were just being greedy and that by freeing house-elves they were cunningly avoiding their tariff they would be more open to it.

Then there was a small aquatic incident that could had been tragic but for the heroic intervention of a free house-elf (finding a free house-elf was the hardest part of the ordeal). Madame Borricane who was not a member of the Wiz-Parliament but who had six nephews who were, witnessed the house-elf’s heroics and talked incessantly about it for the next two weeks. Enough that four of the nephews changed their vote if only to show to Madame Borricane they were the one good nephew who listened and ought to inherit her fortune.

The Hogsmeade Crossroads Spirit made a wizard arrive late enough times that his electors got sick of him never being in time in the Wiz-Parliament to argue their case, so they removed him by expedite vote and he was substituted by this wonderful nightmare of a liberal witch who was mad enough to vote in favour of house-elf emancipation without any other pressure. She even convinced two other honourable members all by herself. Draco is going to get her a goblin-made present and he invited her to their wedding.

The Susurrus at Whitehall gave three MW-Ps nightmares about becoming house-elves themselves for a week and constantly reminded the honourable member for London Bexley that his ancestors were once slaves and that there is no species distinction when talking about slavery, so the honourable member for London Bexley got his head out of his colossal ass and voted what any moral person with an ounce of historical sense would.

And finally, yes, thanks to The Exhalation of Gringotts Draco got the brilliant idea of putting a swarm to constantly whisper into Thurman Goldfich’s ear about his family name and legacy. Goldfich doesn’t care at all about house-elves, but his name will be recorded as the one who made the legislation possible. He will go down in history when there was no other way that unremarkable man would ever be remembered.

And because Harry is looking at him with those eyes of his and that smile, Draco tells him everything.

“Let me just say,” Draco adds, trying not to grin too much because he feels like he is getting away with it, “that lobbying is perfectly legal.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s just that I don’t use money or offer traditional benefits.”

“I don’t think you offer any benefits at all.”

“Oh, no. I do! Just not to politicians.” Draco answers and Harry laughs which is the greatest sound ever uttered on Earth.

“As long as you restrict the use of curses, I’m okay with it.” Harry says and what’s more, he finally leans over and kisses Draco. A sweet unhurried kiss, and kiss that says I will marry you in a month and I will kiss you then and every day after. “Now, let me hear those songs you made for the swarms”.

#asks #draco malfoy #harry potter #verse: draco's little magical association of mutual favours #Anonymous #textpost

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sinkingwmyships · 4 years

Text

hEY BABY

im back at it again with

JJBA (VA) Purge AU (3)

yeeee this is the one abt the relationship scenarios ;)))

part 1 | part 2

i highly recommend checking out the previous parts first, if not this might be kinda hard to follow

between me and my 1.5 braincells we're trying really hard y'all so pls go easy on us show some support ;_;

OKAY

(oh yea a heads-up no ships are decided yet so treat all these relationship scenarios as hcs (yea imma make AUs inside an AU lmfao))

tw: (1 mention of) homophobia, referenced past abuse, bullying (??)

1. fugio

the first scenario that popped into my head is that Fugo and Giorno go to the same university (for some reason Gio's parents can afford to send him there, idk he probably got financial aid or sth, and then after he killed them (😳 awkwardddd) he's probably using their life insurance in fear of it running out). and Fugo doesn't really care for Gio bc he's a rich boye and he has his quality™️ elite friend circle so why bother himself w a nobody. but in reality all of Fugo's friends are either only on a social level (u know those ppl who you're friends w but u won't necessarily have deep convos w them or choose to hang out w them n stuff), or they're fake and only hang out w him bc of his wealth & status, or bc their rich parents are friends. plus (im referring to the anime backstory here), after the scandal w that professor who sexually harassed him, many ppl secretly hate him and talk shit abt him behind his back due to homophobia.

but anyway, Fugo's plotting against all those biches :) so where does Giorno come in? Gio, being this innocent poor boy who doesn't have a home to go back to, lives on dorm. and let's just say Fugo does too bc he doesn't have the best relationship w his demanding parents, so he was overjoyed when he finally talked them into letting him move from home into the dorms instead. (side note he prolly doesn't Purge his parents bc he needs their money.) so Gio and Fugo know of each other, but not acquaintances or anything.

and then

one day when Fugo's either

running into trouble with some authority figure at school again

just minding his own business and planning his Purge targets

Gio walks in on him, and he's either like

"omg Fugo r u ok do u need help what happened"

"omg Fugo idk what happened between u and ur targets but Purging ain't good, pls reconsider"

and Fugo, having the short-ass fuse that he does (plus probably having his pride wounded and just general mistrust of the ppl around him spurring him on):

"stfu u know nothing about me, but now you've seen this i guess it wouldn't hurt to kill you too"

"stfu u know nothing about me, ur probably one of those happy asshats that have no need for Purges, reconsider?? haha the only thing i'll reconsider is if i'll add u to my kill list" (bc if Gio reports him or sth, Fugo & his fam can get into trouble, since his targets are probably rich and/or influential ppl, but it isn't Purge time yet, so it can be considered malicious intent and/or attempted murder i guess, and so anyone who has any beef w the Fugo fam can bring them down) (i know nothing abt law don't come for me)

and then Gio is like "fuck dis shit im out" and he skrts tf out of there, but sadly Fugo ain't lying 😔 the day of the Purge comes, and Giorno was just trying to barricade himself inside his dorm room when suddenly, Fugo pulls an FBI OPEN UP and breaks inside using all his high-tech weaponry n stuff (i'll share my hcs for chara design later!!). Gio is freaking out so he jumps out the window into the streets, even risking going outside during Purge just so he can get away, but oh 🅱️oy is Fugo stressed tonight. and he literally hunts Gio down and almost kills him

uNTIL!!!¡!

2. abbacchio & giorno:

(SORRY I JUST LOVE DADBACCHIO & GIORSON SO MUCH)

Abbacchio is tasked w hunting down a certain rogue criminal, so he's la-di-da cruising thru Naples to get to Bucci's house, when suddenly this fucking kid comes running up to him with his hair and clothes all messed up and tears running down his face, and is like "pls help me sir i beg u i just need somewhere to hide pls i don't want to do this i don't want to die" and Abba's like "fuq??" but then he hears manic laughter and chainsaws revving and shit, and the kid sniveling all over his crisp™️ Purge suit looks like he can explode with fear at any moment (and plus Abba understands that nobody would ever run up to another person for help during Purge like this, unless it's really their last option), so he sighs, "fine. get behind me."

the kid drops to his knees and Abba can't help but think "aaahhhh fucking dead weight", but he said he'd help, so that's what he's gonna do. now ANOTHER kid rounds the corner but he barely looks sane, he seems almost possessed by something. *fighting ensues* but being a professional cop Abba knocks the kid out cold w a few swift moves, and when he drops to the ground that crazy expression finally leaves his face. he's already wasted too much time, so Abba turns to Kid 1 and is like "go back home brat and dont get into trouble again", but Kid 1 is still a trembling mess on the ground, and he says "i don't have any home to go back to."

subconscious Abba's like "well that's between you and god" but he knows he's basically this kid's god now (besides, there can't possibly be a god that would let things like Purges happen), so he's like, "fine. get in the car and DON'T get in my way" but THEN Kid 1 points to the passed-out demon child, "but we can't leave him here"

A: "he was gonna KILL you!!"

K1: "i know but he didn't mean it, he was just not thinking straight"

A: "Purges ain't where ppl think str8 kid, besides if he didn't really wanna Purge he wouldn't have geared himself up that well"

K1: “but he’s not a bad person. please, if we leave him out here in this state he’ll be killed for sure.”

at this point Abbacchio can't understand wtf Kid 1 is thinking, but for the first time in years he finds some of the humanity he was hoping to regain in Purge, so he's like "fine. haul him into the backseat. but you're sitting with him bc i got my shit in the front. and if he wakes up you're dealing w it this time. cool?"

Kid 1 nods, and surprisingly he has enough strength to shove Kid 2 into the backseat & get in after him. Abba is trying to decide what he wanna do w these kids, when his phone suddenly beeps, and in comes a new message from his superiors, "yo dawg u gotta hurry up and kill that Bucciarati guy, we'd better not catch u slacking" and he's like "yo Kid 1, can u fight?"

"uh, a bit. why?"

"well, that's what you're gonna do for me in return for my protection."

anywhooooo i imagine that later on, Fugo wakes up like "ugh wtf hello concussions????" and he sees Gio standing over him, and he snaps into defensive mode, sitting up and shoving Gio away and everything. but then he sees that Gio's hands are empty, save for maybe a bottle of water and a towel, and somehow Fugo's own wounds are all cleaned and bandaged, and he groans:

"dude, what the fuck are you doing? did i pass out? did you find help?"

G: "you got hit over the head pretty hard, don't move so suddenly."

F: "haha yea thanks i can feel that myself, anyway wtf were you doing?"

G: "uhhhhh... abbacchio patched you up but your face was really grimy so he told me to clean you up, and maybe give you some water?"

F: "no. i mean like what the fuck were you doing????? braincells hello?? kill me! i should be dead!!! is Purge over?? did the sirens go off before you can finish me?"

he suddenly notices how Gio just recoils and sits there with his eyes squeezed shut as Fugo shouts at him and flings his arms around. but he's seen how Gio defended himself against him, so he knows this guy can fight and is no stranger to Purges. this is the first mystery his 152 IQ has encountered in a long time, so Fugo reaches out to get Gio's attention, but then Gio jumps and slaps his hand away so hard Fugo feels his bruised brain jar. he pulls back immediately, holding his hands up, palms forward, finally kind of able to pierce together what's going on inside the blond's mind:

"sorry. wasn't gonna attack you. just... wasn't sure if you were listening to me, so i tried to get your attention."

"i was."

"okay. sorry." Fugo tries, but Gio is already standing up and leaving, glassy green eyes looking anywhere but at him. "wait! Gior— ugh??"

he almost faceplants the ground again. where's my stupid-ass helmet???? i need to be on balance mode stat. but then Fugo feels two arms helping him up, and he looks up to see Gio, frowning in distaste but still supporting him all the same. he feels bad for asking (as if he hasn't bothered this poor guy enough): "uh, so, what exactly happened while i was passed out?"

oh, honey...

a lot :)

BUT PLOT SPOILERS SO THIS ENDS HERE!!!!!! xD

ya know i might actually go w fugio after all :00 but if i do end up writing this, it will span over 12 hours / 1 Purge only, so even if there are ships they'll probably only be implied, instead of madly into each other by the end of everything :P

to be cont’d… 👀🔪 perhaps with other relationship hcs :0 or chara design?? who knows. suggestions?

feel free to drop any questions you have, or just scream to me in the cmts in general!! i’m happy to answer anything, from chara motives to backstory clarification, or anything else!! ik up to now these posts have just been walls of texts, so :’D thanks for reading thooooo 💖

part 4 | part 5

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allofthisnonsenseplease · 7 years

Text

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 omg au where jack accidentally adopts a girl post-fall of overwatch ///i'm watching new girl and one of the characters is pregnant and now i'm thinking about kids again

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 eurgh parasites

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LOL but like jack saves a girl on the streets from something and is like "go home to your parents kid" but she's an orphan and he can't like leave her alone now so oops now he has like. a kid?? and he's suddenly forced to actually start taking care of himself so he can take care of this girl LOL WAIT NO NOW THIS IS T URNING INTO THE SAME PLOT AS THE CAT ONE XDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 well, not quite. he didn't start taking care of himself to take care of the cat, he just cared if he lived or died.

maybe taking care of himself in order to take care of the girl puts him into a healthier frame of mind except for the part where he decides it's a good idea to take his new responsibility on a roadtrip to find his undead, estranged ex and maybe get back together

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LOL maybe she prompts him to do it she asks him about how he got himself into this situation and he quietly admits that it was ultimately bc he had a falling out with his husband whom he's still very much in love with and she's all smiles and is like "hey two dads sounds way better than one, let's go fix this!!" and he's gaping too much at the dad part to really understand what she just suggested

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 awww ^^ big dumb lug

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 >w< ooo but that's an interesting scenario, having jack in like an actually okay place trying to reconcile with gabe who's still very much spiraling like jack is still not doing great but he's recovering and trying to do his best for his girl

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 yupup meanwhile, Gabriel 'Murder Machine' Reyes...

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 qoq oh noooo what if talon finds out about the girl and like tries to kidnap her and jack becomes Rage Incarnate

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 talon. wtf? and Gabe, too. this is somehow more personal. they found this girl bc Jack came looking for HIM.

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 it's what finally snaps gabe out of his depressive/angry spiral

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 Jack being more focused on the fact that Talon GRABBED HIS KID than he is on Gabe or their issues. He's willing to conceed anything Gabe wants, if only he'll help get his girl back.

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 HHH AND JACK'S ONLY SUPPORT SYSTEM WAS JUST TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM SO HE'S RAPIDLY LOSING IT AGAIN

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 eep!

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 he comes the Fuck after them with a single-mindedness that's terrifying when gabe tries to intercept bc he can so easily see jack getting himself killed, jack actually stares him down and threatens to kill him if he doesn't get out of the way zero sentiment. totally cold-blooded. gabe: jack think about this for a sec jack: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ba/28/91/ba289158fa7412e37dcd78d74d5bb45a.png

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 Gabe gets pissed off at first, but it's so icy that there's really nothing to latch on to. His whole relationship with Jack and the awful tangle and destruction its downfall led them to has been the most important, all-consuming thing in his life for so long that he had forgotten that there might be other things more important. Jack's found one. i have seen the puppy meme, yes XD

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 OMGGG AHH GABE GETTING JEALOUS AND FRUSTRATED THAT JACK SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT HIM

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 lol GABE THERE'S BIGGER THINGS AT STAKE

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 also getting mad at himself for not being able to move on but taking it out on jack qoq

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 At some point while they're going after the kid, Gabe lashes out at Jack bc of the jealousy, like 'What the FUCK were you thinking bringing a kid along to hunt me down?' and Jack is all 'I was coming to find you to see if we can hash things out, you colossal jackoff! at the very least i wanted to apologize!'

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 QoQ "i just wanted-" "WHAT jack? what the fuck were you..." "i just wanted us to be a family!"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 oh jack. you poor, poor deluded fool

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 gabriel falls silent, staring at jack briefly then looking down. jack rubs at his eyes tiredly. "she made me better," he explains quietly. "she was something for me to fight for. i had a reason to be better, gabe. and i wanted that for you too."

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 oh fuck you for that one ;n;

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 qwq gabriel feels hollow and raw all over at the idea that jack believed he was even capable of getting better

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 ((@ the comments popping up on twitter: if spanking's involved, does that make it whipped cream pie?)) hey. OUCH.

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LOLL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 it's taking all my self control not to butt in with that god awful joke. i want you to know that and be proud of me.

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LMAO I LOVE YOU <3333

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 <3

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 ghhh but gabe doesn't believe in himself, he's just so angry all the time and even now he wants to hurt jack and... he decides it'd be best if he just helped jack get his girl back and then left

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 ;_; noooooooooooooo

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 so he gets EXTRA reckless on this mission qoq fuck it, he's betraying talon- might as well draw all the fire to himself, sacrifice whatever he has to in order to get jack and his girl out of there

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 oh gabi

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 jack is like totally not caring about his own safety so gabe has to be extra reckless to make sure that the girl actually has someone to take care of her after this

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 lol trying to out-reckless each other like the fukkin target ducks in a shooting gallery game

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LOLLL in the process gabe realizes how in love with jack he still is qwq

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 PRAISE how many followers do you think i would lose if i made the joke?

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LMAO AHHH WHEN THEY FINALLY FIND HER JACK RUNS TO HER AND SWEEPS HER UP IN A HUG AND IS JUST LIKE IMMEDIATELY IN TEARS and she's crying too and they're hugging each other so tight and gabriel watches them and feels his cold heart twisting into knots

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 ;-; Jack carrying her over and introducing her. Calls Reaper Gabriel, of course, as if the years between the good times and now never happened.

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 QwQ and she's wiping at her eyes and smiling all huge and asks "so should i be calling you papa?" she steals gabriel's heart immediately but he's hit with the overwhelming sense that he doesn't deserve this

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 Jack mirrors the thought. 'I don't deserve her,' he murmurs, 'but I'm damned lucky to have her.'

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 QOQ gabriel sees them to a safe house and has to disappear for a little while jack is worried that gabe is gone for good but he does come back after a few days he's all sheepish and shy but he mumbles that he wants to try

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 GABE YOU BIG SOFTIE

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 qwq he's like really really awkward and kind of uncomfortable at first

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 lol the most awkward grim reaper

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 he like doesn't know how to interact with this girl she's determined to call him papa

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 lol Gabe has met his match!! XD also holy shit i really need to turn in

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 OKAY WE WILL DISCUSS MORE TOMORROW <333333

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 yes pls!!! night night <3<3<3

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 GNNN

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 does Jack wear boxers or briefs. important question. tell me he doesn't go commando in his SC pants. nm tweet is full. ppl can imagine what they want lol

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 lol now i'm just imagining gabe pulling down jack's pants to find he's gone commando and being horrified gabe's all gruff and grumpy and isn't comfortable opening up yet and when jack tries to talk to him, he just gets all sullen. but somehow when this girl talks to him he can't find it in himself to snap at her.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 prro reaper didn't even want Jack backa nd now he has Jack AND a daughter like who's going ot feed and water her and make sure she gets exercise? FUCK I CAN TYPE WHO SAYS I CAN'T

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LOLL he gets attached to the girl very quickly but jack is a little more difficult

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 He's~ already~ attached~~! never really came unstuck~! Gabi you're doomed just roll with it

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 XDDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 76 hears them talking at night in low voices. He can't shake the uncomfortable feeling that a lot ofit is about him, but he never asks. He's a little afraid to know. It's eerie how some mornings both of them will look up at him as he comes into the kitchen of their safe hose, watching him silent and attentive as cats

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 omg that's a cute image ahhh jack giving her a lil kiss on the top of her head in the morning gabe pouting internally bc he wants a kiss too but like they're not there yet,,

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 XD GABE! YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE! WHAT IS THIS BEING COMPLEX AND WANTING CONFLICTING THINGS? POPPYCOCK!

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 XDDDDD how do gabe and jack finally stop snipping at each other over dumb shit or ignoring each other XD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 what if the little girl claims to be afraid of monsters in her closet and Jack knows its a lie, and Gabe pretends to scare it away, but she insists and makes them sleep with her...only she sneaks out of bed in the middle of the night and leaves them alone. they wake up tangled up in each other, and go out to find her sitting on the couch watching cartoons and eating ice cream for breakfast and she complains that they snored too loud.

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 AWWWWW CLEVER GIRL eeeee and they're all snuggled up together and gabe almost thinks he's in the past

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah my one weakness XD oh, let's see...

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 eeeee

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 what if she asks for stories at night--like, she'll want to sit in one dad's lap while the other tells a story. and she wants REAL stories. and she wants FIGHTING stories with GUNS and SUPERHEROES. And Jack & Gabe end up taking turns telling her stories from the Crisis. And when one's talking, the other can never help but interrupt to correct or make fun of the other. And sometimes she'll shush the interrupter and get them arguing over who's teh favorite, and sometimes she'll agree and be like 'yeah, dad, that was REALLY DUMB'

and as they're talking about the past back when things were good between them, the old feelings start to come back to the surface and they remember why they were great together

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 QwQ HHHH and then they finally put her to bed and they kind of sit in the living room silently together

and jack keeps glancing at gabe out of the corner of his eye while gabe pretends not to notice

and jack finally kinda clears his throat awkwardly and says, "you know, you don't have to sleep on the couch tonight. you could..."

"sleep in your bed?" gabe interrupts.

jack flinches from how he says it but nods anyway.

gabe lets him hang in suspense for awhile even though they both already know the answer is going to be yes

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 :eyes:

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 Jack tries to break the awkward silence by starting in on the story Gabe told earlier--'the way i remember it was...' so and so. the stories they remind themselves of with Jack's little girl safely tucked in bed are darker and sadder and harsher than either would have told her. Jack pours himself a drink as they talk. he pours gabe one too, without asking, and they take turns pouring after that. The minutes turn hazy, blurring into one another. The kitchen is too warm, they're sitting too close, leaning heavily against each other, shoulder to shoulder, heads bent over their glasses like conspirators. Neither knows who initiated the kiss. It's slow at first, hesitant, an old habit picked up in the midst of drunkenness and shared loss. It grows heated before either fully realize what's happening, but, by then, neither wants to stop. Gabe remembers the offer of a bed. He lets his full weight press against Jack, knocking him slowly from his chair. When they fall together, they don't hit the floor, but dissolve through a cloud of nanites and land with a bounce on the cheap mattress. Shadow stepping works the alcohol right out of his system, and Gabe finds his head clear. Jack is still kissing him, however, needy sounds spilling from his throat as his hands clutch at Gabe's coat. It would be easy--so easy--to just let go, blame it on the alcohol tomorrow. The temptation is too much to resist, and Gabe bears down atop Jack, kissing him back with fervor as if this will be his last chance to regain everything he lost.

holy shit that's more than i realized

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 SHRIEKINGGGGGGG GAAAABE i love how they are literally married but still pining for each other qoq

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 lol

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 jack actually stops them. they're both most of the way naked and grinding against each other and jack puts a hand on gabe's chest and asks him to stop for a second he wants gabe so bad but not if this is going to be it

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 noooooooo jack go for it lure him back with your jacktastic wiles

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LOL he rolls them over, crawling on top of gabe, and begs him not to pretend this is nothing later

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 oh my god ohhhhhhhhh my goooooooooooooooooooood not cool dude ;_; lol Jack's a weepy drunk

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 awwwwwww starts ugly crying into gabe's chest gabe is confused bc. this is such a turn off but he wants to fuck jack more than ever

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 XD omg it's calld LOVE you jackass you LOVE him YOU'RE IN LESBIANS WITH HIM

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 AHAHAHAHA jack is like sobbing while still grinding into gabe and it's taking way too much willpower not to just throw him on his front and fuck him immediately

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 Gabe dissolves away from under him and Jack cries out as he drops. In an eyeblink, Gabe has reformed on top of him, pressing Jack down with all his weight, grinding slow and deliberate up against him. He practically tears the jacket off him, then runs his hands across Jack's shoulders--shown off so handsomly beneath the compressions shirt--down his arms, until his palms cover the backs of Jack's hands and Gabe can lace their fingers together. He ducks his head to bite the back of Jack's neck, sucking at his skin, leaving a string of lovebites from his hairline down the side of his neck to the crook of his shoulder.

'You never stopped being mine, Jack,' he growls against his skin. 'Not back then. Not now. Not ever.'

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 HOLY SHIT fans self

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 possessive gabe orz and then we hope Jack got the girl some noise cancelling headphones 'cause this is not gonna be a quiet fuck

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 OH GEEZ

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 ((haha ASSphyxiation X'D)) https://twitter.com/rosephtxt/status/917180354452086784 ((i am a delight))

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LOLL jack is still all teary-eyed but he growls at gabe to come and take him then >w<

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 Gabe, thinking to himself: which i would ALREADY BE DOING if you hadn't needed to have a little breakdown

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 Gabe, this one is a mess. Throw him back.

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 AHAHA

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 Try again. You're a handsome monster with lots of opportunites on the dad dating scene.

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 LMAO god imagine reaper trying to find love on tindr

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 i could prolly imagine it better if i knew anything about tinder aside from (gay?) dating site

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 it's the app where it matches you w people and you like decide whether you're interested or not and then you go on a date or whatever

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 interests: disincorporating, shotguns, revenge, hiking, double agentry

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 knitting

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 musical theater HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 XDDDD also i'm technically still married but it's a long story we're not together anymore

SuspiciousPopsicle - 10/08/2017 76: what a co-inky-dink so am i. i bet this mysterious stranger will really GET me.

firesonic152 - 10/08/2017 HA AWKS

#cornfuck and the reaper #R76 plot ideas

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survivemiddleearth · 6 years

Text

Episode #3: “Nabbed by a man in a party city cow suit” -Nick

I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT I JUST GOT NABBED BY A MAN IN A FUCKING PARTY CITY COW SUIT, IM FUCKING KILLING MYSELF IN THIS STUPID FARMERS FEILD

Remember when i said i felt secure in this game? Yeah me neither, and now with a tribe swap (:

I’m so sad???? I don’t even know the names of my old tribe to mourn them. AHHHH I DONT WANNA SWAP YET cri cri. Well fresh start cept Stephan is here so semi fresh. Hopefully he won’t screw me over jajdjdw

a tribe swap huh... I'm really curious to see how the Idolhunt works, and if the clue for a 2nd Idol on 1 tribe (?!?!?!) is actually transferrable.

Its a tribe swap and yay! I’m with the two people I’ve actually talked strategy with, Dennis and Sammy. However, I am with Vi, who is not my favourite person, i’ll try for the clean slate and all that is my philosophy but she has a history of being a snake, if an ineffective, goat-esque snake.

BLESS THE RAINS Ok I'm actually sad about Jayden - was a cool guy but I couldn't try and dictate another vote so soon and he WAS on the outer :/ BUT NOW I GET TO BE CHAOTIC YEE HA! im throwing my old tribe under the bus so fast cuz im messy and i want to be that bitch (patent pending) johnny will assume i'll take his side probs but like, I might, but I'm not gonna give up this opportunity to play middleman my inner kass is gleaming caw-caw am coming!

Yay! I love my new tribe. I have had good experiences with all these players, so I feel that my options are available and I can go to whoever I want for an alliance.

I HAVE FOUND. EVERY SINGLE. FUCKING. IDOL LOCATION. ALL THREE. AND THEY'RE ALL. FOUND. IM GONNA. SCREAM. IM. MAD.

Ok lost post but I haven’t confessed since the swap so: ok so the tribe swap has me shook. Thank Zeus that I’m still with Jay and Ford. Zach and JG are also on this tribe but I don’t think they like me. I messaged Zach and he responded with ‘👀’ which was funny asf but also. how do I respond to that. Drew and nick both had conversations with me so I don’t feel completely rejected. Jay and I have been sharing idol hunt stories and we’re pretty sure that all idols have been found so I’m scared to idol hunt, all I’ll find is disadvantages and I don’t want that. The word search comp was a lot of fun ?? I didn’t know any of the words so it was really panicky but I think I did okay. I really hope that we win this comp because. I hate tribal?? I’ve only lived 2 tribals ever because I’m a dumbass so.

This tribe is...interesting. Zach and Dylan R, despite being my sons, are a lil snakey. I see their rat boy sides, respectfully. Dylan just never lets me live tbh. But Zach and I were talking about the tribe and he mentioned wanting to blindside Drew at some point, and I was like Yeah Makes Sense and he goes "so if you could convince people to do that it would be great!" BINCH. I'm not your minion yet, don't give me tasks. So I have to keep him around to throw under the bus at some point lol. I think I'll try to get Bodhi out first since everyone else on the tribe I think I can work with.

Ayyy. Lets go guys. I found an idol. The first time I ever found one in a survivor game. Lets see how long I can hold onto it, before i either get blindsided or waste it out of paranoia. Imagine how nutty it would be if I had 2 idols by now. DARN YOU STEPHEN!!!

I’d love to get crow on board to work with my old tribe mates, none of the others really talk to me much. Thats not to say if a better offer comes up I wont take it, I’m considering tryig a less loyal game plan.

So far Dennis is my closest ally in this game, but I’ve been working hard to make sure I dont stand out as a player and an alliance maker. I also have talked to Crow a lot and really like him, would love to work with him. Dennis wants to work with Roxy and Sammy which I am cautious about, but now isn’t the time to play the game too hard. I’ll work with them for now while getting closer to others and then make my move, theres a lot of players in this group I have to make sure I’m not left behind or blindsided.

Nick sweetie I like you but 2 hours omg im beyond shook. I don’t want him going so that’s chill but I would be lying if I said I didn’t laugh omg. I’m.... kinda glad we lost? In a way?? The other tribe has a 4-3-1 where as our tribe is 3-3-2 so. In a way this is better?? I’ll probably be eating these words when I get evicted tomorrow but oh well.

Drew is really nice and we have great conversations !! But I know his history so of course I’m wary talking with him. He’s good at grilling for info while also being guarded, so talking with him about the vote worries me. If I say the wrong thing I feel like he could turn the votes against me. I thought this vote would be easy but Drew telling me that him and the red team aren’t close worries me because I know that they’re in an alliance. Drew is still really cool & nice but paranoia is a bitch !!!

I did the math, because I’m a nerd, and Zach needed a score of 16 minutes in order to tie. Honestly not the dudes fault ,,, we woulda lost anyway even if he did well. Just thought I’d say that

I'm really glad our tribe won. We ended up bonding a lot over a long discussion in the tribe chat, and I want to build with that with the people who I had most in common with, like sammy. I feel I need to socialize more because no one really approached me in a bit. I know we aren't a tribal but I feel like I should be approached anyway.

FINALLY I'm headed to tribal! I really need to go to at least one tribal pre-merge just so I can see where the heads are at and how people act under pressure. So far I've learned that Zach is the most Rat Boy person I've ever met. ZACH, I TOLD YOU AFTER KALOKAIRI THAT YOU NEED TO LEARN TO TONE IT DOWN. TONE IT DOWN. Dylan R too, to be honest. They're both just WAY TOO STRATEGIC. Like learn some subtlety, kiddos. Dylan R literally said 'we really need to get out Bodhi' to me and Zach asked 'Why doesn't Bodhi like you?' unprompted and is also roasting Drew every .4 seconds. I mean yes it's refreshing since I'm so used to playing with crusted over community people like.....myself. But also, I'm tired. I don't want to play the game as a rat herder, trying to stop Rat Zach and Rat Drew from biting each other's heads off. (If you're reading this post-season, just know I view you all as very strong players, and I bestow the title of rat lovingly, as I myself am 100% a rat). On the plus side, there are LOTS of juicy meat shields in this game. As annoying as it's going to be to deal with the inevitable Zach vs. Drew ego war, at least I know their conflict is going to keep me out of the spotlight hopefully long enough to make late merge. I need to stay as UTR as possible as long as possible, and this cast might make that easy for me. I'm just thankful I have JG. He's one of my best friends, and I know we can trust each other going forward.

Oh god I went so hard my last game and now this game i’ve Idol searched once and confessed once lmao. Ummm...not a very interesting game so far. No one’s flipped. No ine’s Been shady. Very clean cut. I’m playing with some Kalokairi peeps so that’s fun and fresh, but other than that there hasn’t been much. That’s probably why I haven’t confessed at all 😂.

I thought that this vote was gonna be easy but talk of an idol has sent people into a frenzy. Personally, if an idol gets played it won’t be the end of the world for me so I’m not... too scared ? Inb4 I get blindsided but it should be either bodhi or nick going.

Welp, the vote has flipped to Nick. Usually that would make me scramble to get it back where I want it, but this game I'm not strongarming any players, and I'm going with the "anyone but me" strategy. So whatever! If everyone can unanimously vote against an inactive player, that works.

This might be me being cocky. But I can not believe that 12 minutes was actually the fastest time. I am happy that I am not going to Tribal council. And I'd like to keep it that way as long as possible, but still... 12 minutes? Mhm.. Maybe the other tribe threw on purpose to get certain players out... who knows!

Welp I really wanted Nick gone because of that score, sorry bud but it is about tribe strength but everyone was saying let's vote Bodhi. Being/feeling on the bottom even though I have some relationships with people like Dylan, Drew, and Jay , I still did not feel secure in my position in this game. During the afternoon, I realized it was extremely stupid to target and get rid of Bodhi who would most likely be loyal to me and have my back over some of these other folks. So I talked to Jay and planted the seeds of actually voting out Nick instead of Bodhi. I went to Bodhi saying that we could potentially flip this and told him who needed to talk and and who to target to save himself which was obviously Nick. I wanted Nick out the moment those results came out and if he goes home, I will take claim to this for pulling this off, this will potentially really keep Bodhi as a number for myself and not rock too many boats.

wow shook i didn’t do the worst at the word search....why do all of my friends gotta be in the game w me. Potentially I would like to work with Johnny and Roxy even tho I know a lot of times ppl target roxy for being crazy and I don’t know who i can trust yet. I like crow as well. My predictions for tonight is that bodhi might go home because he really wasn’t active on our old tribe but only time will tellllll

#outwitoutplayoutrunthewitchking

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