#like it honestly couldnt be further from the truth

[doctorwhoisadhd]

see on one hand i COULD totally make trock but the only thing is. im worried about like. would anybody actually listen to it. like thats the difference w/ blaseball, the fan music scene was so excellent and popular that like i knew that if i made stuff and shared it people WOULD 100% listen and have nice things to say. and in general making and sharing ur music does NOT feel that way outside of communities that are really FOR that... and like its one thing to write my own songs for me bc thats not so much a choice as it is a requirement for my mental health in a very human "desire to create art" way. so in this regard its entirely another thing to write fan music... thats me contributing to a space, as opposed to my own "for me" songs that are just my way of processing my own emotions.

[mythicmanuscripts]

Need to know how our favorite HOTD subby babies respond to being called “good boy” 🥰

Ooo brilliant brilliant question!! I think what I'll do is right a little bit about how they reacted the first time and then a little bit about how the term is continued to be used? I hope that makes sense!

Sweet but NSFW subby content below!

JACE:

The first time you do it, the poor thing comes on the spot. He really didnt expect that sudden praise and honestly has no idea what to even do with himself about it. He had been so worked up, so needy and whiney and barely able to contain himself when you finally have him attention, so when you decided to suddenly call him good boy for the first time, he didnt stand a chance.

After this, it's a term Jace absolutely adores, but he's always careful to never seem too obvious with how much he loves it and how much he's always waning for you to call him that again. Jace is already such a needy little thing from the moment the clothes start coming off that the doesn't want to request even more from you. You think it's absolutely adorable that he thinks he's hiding how much he loves bring called that. You can see his eyes light up every single time, so of course you're well aware of how much he loves it..

AEMOND:

The first time you call aemond a good boy, he stop what he's doing and walks away. He doesn't say a single thing, just leaves. You run after him, confused about what could have upset him that much. It's only after you literally drag him back into your quarters that he finally just says he doesnt know why you'd make fun of him like that. That's one you realise that Almond thought the praise was a joke, that you were trying to hurt him.

That couldnt be further from the truth of course, but that's difficult for him to expect when all he's had his entire life is people making fun of his weaknesses. So when you tel him that you're being 100% serious, that he really has been so good and made you so happy? He just falls into your embrace and holds you extra right, crying softly for a little while.

He gets better and better at receiving praise without losing his mind, but good boy is one that will always make him go absolutely feral.

AEGON:

So there's actually this head cannon that I've had for a while and never really had the right opportunity to mention it about sub!aegon so I'm gonna do that here. I think that he knew he was a sub pretty quickly, and of course the women he pays in the brothels are more than happy to fulfil that goal. Aegon knows he likes it, knows he likes being told what to do and manhandled and fucked until he cries.

The problem though, is that it seems like for all the brothel workers, the only way to dominate him is so be mean and use humiliation and degradation. That part.... that part he hated.

So when he gets with you and you want to be in charge but you praise him instead of degrade him? Well, he's never setting foot into a brothel ever again.

[magicdefendorwolf]

Cuddles

Description:just cuddling honestly,this is very self indulgnet as i love cuddling sm but have no one to cuddle

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Jing yuan

(starting with this man because he's a giant walking teddy bear)

The soft way his hands brush your hair and the soft beating of his heart that was intrerupted ever so slightly when he chuckled,a lazy smile playing on his lips,seeing your almost asleep state

Or the way his body was so warm,his arms so gently yet so firmly wrapped around you did nothing but make you want to sleep even more

"Love,come on,you cant fall asleep here" He said,voice soft as ever as he let out another chuckle "I know its tempting but you cant fall asleep in my office" he tried reasoning

"But i want to" you pouted hoping to get him to let you stay just a bit longer,arms tightening just a tad more around him

He merely shook his head at your antics and let you stay there for longer

Kafka

You were stirred awake by her voice,oh her soft voice,how you wished to listen to the sound of her voice on repeat,but you had to snap back into reality as she softly poked your cheek to wake you up

"Finally awake sunshine" She said with that sly smile ever so present on her lips"Lets get up shall we?" She gave you a close eyed smile and kissed your forehead

"Dont wanna,ill stay here just abit longer" You said,sleep still present in your voice, nuzzling closer to her and hugging her body tighter

"Come on love,we have to get up now" Kafka repeated herself,eyes softening at the way you just couldnt seem to let go of her in the mornings

Guess she'll just have to be late,she doesnt care who she pisses off,as long as she has five more minutes with your sleeping body all snuggled up to her its worth it

Yanqing

You tried to poke the boy sleeping in your arms awake,but to no avail,he may have looked soft and physically weak but that couldnt be further from the truth considering the death grip he had on you while he had fallen asleep on top of you

You tried again gently tapping his shoulder and muttering his name

"Nghh,just five more minutes" He sleepily said in such a sweet way,you just couldnt deny him when he was being this cute

You looked down at him fondly and tried to ignore the way your whole body was going numb and the crushing grip he had around your whole body

Suddenly he loosened his grip and placed a soft kiss to your collarbone and then nuzzled back into your shoulder while he mumbled a quiet 'thank you' for letting him cuddle with you just a bit longer

Blade

Despite his though front and exterior he was trying so hard to put up he seemed to not be putting up any kind of resistance to you dragging him and laying him down on top of you while you played with his hair

Quite the opposite actually,he seemed to relax in your hold,tense muscles relaxing as he not so subtly interwined his fingers with yours and pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek

His silent way of thanking you for doing this for him,after all he looked like he needed it after walking in with his hair in a mess,eyes looking so dull and body fully worn out

As you continued mindlessly brushing Blade's hair you were taken aback when he started to breathe so softly,as if he was asleep

You looked down to see him asleep,eyelids closed and fatigue completly noticeable all over his body

To Blade,sleeping was his weakest moment,despite being ready to fight even in his sleep,he still wasnt fully there while uncouncious,so this small act showed you just how much he trusted you,to completly let his defenses down

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Ill definetly write a part 2,i just wanted to get this out

[chuuyasheaven]

Hi im back☺️☺️ can i request prompt 2 with (who would have guessed) chuuya? I just couldnt resist after that last smut like HOLY shit i reread it every morning😭 Take your time and remember to stay hydrated💛

ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ; 02 : Brat taming

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ; Chuuya has been pretty busy lately, and his needy girlfriend is being bratty abt it. This leads up to him taking you against the table. <3

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs; mean!dom!Chuuya, sub!bratty!fem!reader, fucking on a table with Chuuya, degrading kink (f!recieving), ooc!Chuuya (ig), slight spanking, kinda fingering, petnames (such as slut, baby, whore, etc.), porn without *any* plot, basically me in heat /j, etc.

ɴᴏᴛᴇs; This is a draft bcs i can. So take this while i have to take a break, i just suffer from major daddy issues right now lol. Also, this was from my new year event, enjoy! ( 5-6 months later; felt horny for Chuuya so take this while i prepare myself for a exam!!)

“Such a fuckin' brat for attention, huh?”, Chuuya tsked at you.

He had such a stressful day, just to come home to you whining and annoying him further.

Chuuya just needed to somehow ‘relief’ all that stress!

“I’m s-sorry, Chuuya!”, you said just for him to spank you.

“I don’t wanna hear it.”, he hissed.

You were being spanked on the table, bent over of course, while still having your panties on.

All his spanks just kept you wet for him.

Even though you still had some undergarments on, you could tell there was gonna be a slight hand print.

“Now, bend over for me, just where i can see you perfectly, understood?”, Chuuya commanded you, with a slightly strict tone.

Not wanting to piss him off more, you just bent over as far as you could, just how he wanted.

Waiting for his next move, you felt him rip off your panties.

But those were your favorite!

“C-Chuuya! Those were my favorites?!”, you felt his hand wrap around your neck from behind, it wasn’t too harsh, but it wasn’t very soft too.

“I can always buy you more. Now, do you want me to fuck you or do you want me to just leave you like that?”, he whispered into your ear, sneakily having his gloveless fingers tease your wet pussy.

This made you even more desperate for him, even wetting his fingers with more of your slick.

“You don’t want me to leave you so wet for me, do you? It would be such a shame, y’know?”, now he was just teasing you. For what even? To beg? As if!

“N-no..p-please, fuck me, Chuuya.. I-i need you!”, he felt a small smirk creep up his lips.

“What was that? Was it my slut begging for me to fuck her brains out?”, Chuuya never disappointed with his dirty talk, did he?

He knows what he’s doing, he just wants to frustrate you!

But it’s fair, afterall all your whining got you here..

“J-just do it already..”, you weakly said, starting to grow impatient.

“I know you can beg more nicely than that, baby.”, Chuuya denied you even further.

“C-come on, p-please, Chuuya..stop t-teasing me, I’m r-really sorry!”, you could feel yourself on the edge of desperate tears.

“Awe, my poor princess is about to cry, isn’t she? Well, if you want it, who am i to deny you?”, finally, he was gonna take you!

“But since you’ve been such a brat, i won’t go easy on you..”, i don’t care, just fuck me like the whore i am!

You heard Chuuya take off his belt, feeling relief washing over you.

When he removed his boxers, you felt him entering. Since he’s not that cruel, he’s gonna wait a few seconds before pushing in completely.

It was finally time, he started to thrust into you, just like he said before, not particularly soft..

His pace was fast and rough, which was amazing, but kinda overwhelming, but you asked for this.

“Consider me nice enough to even fuck you like this..”, Chuuya said while ruthlessly fucking you into oblivion.

“F-fuck! F-feels so good..”, you chanted, obviously already cock drunk.

“You’re already so drunk of my cock, aren’t you? Fucking slut.”, yes, it was mean, but it was just the truth!

Honestly, nobody should blame you.

You slowly felt your high approach, feeling your knot build up.

You felt Chuuya’s hitched breathing and whimpers against your ears, while he was holding your tits.

“Fuck, ‘m so fuckin’ close..”, you were getting pretty close too.

“Tell me, who’s fuckin’ slut are you?”, you better still have the ability to answer this question.

“Y-yours! I’m your slut, only you fuck me like this..”, you answered, slurring these words.

“Damn right, nobody can slut you out like i can, understood?”

Something just snapped guys.

[kcyars99]

The truth about Tim Miller:

A gay man whose world view led him to become a lifelong Republican has the political acumen of a Jewish man who becomes a Nazi.

But it's even worse than that: it's like a Jewish man who helped build the Nazi party. That type of person can never be one of the faces of the Democratic party because he'll never understand it. And honestly, how could he?

To be part of a persecuted minority but find your identity in an alliance with the persecutors? You're unable to grasp any kind of reality that exists outside of whiteness. Whiteness is going to always come first.

And after you spent a decade being Frankenstein, your Republican monster inevitably chased you to the only other game in town: the Democratic party.

Because the GOP never really stood for anything but racism, sexism, and chasing power, and because there's no culture, no values, and no soul, a totally insane lying lunatic was able to swoop in and demagogue his way into ruling the party with an iron fist.

And I get it, you're gay, and now your allies wants to destroy the lives of everyone like you while being happy to use you to further those ends. It's untenable. But instead of putting up a fight and trying to save your party, you go to where the grass is bluer.

One problem: the Democratic party has a soul and it's name is the BLACK VOTER.

Where you wouldn't fight for your party? We will. Where you wouldn't guard your party from demagouges? We do. We don't have the caucasity to assume that we'll be alright. We're not white. It's always existential for us. We can never take our political power for granted.

That's why when you were grooming your party to fall victim to Trump, Bernie Sanders was over here falling flat on his face. Hillary built with us. Biden spent his whole life with us. They have equity. If you want anything over here in Dem land? You need us. Being a former Republican, you have no idea how we work because YOUVE NEVER HAD TO LISTEN TO US.

I'll get to how I know YOU, Tim Miller, have never listened to us in just a second.

That's also why we kill off culture vultures. We're so sensitive to anyone who wants anyone who wants to use us for their gain when we know they'll never get in the trenches with us. And we see it coming a mile away.

That's why we never fall for Trump scams in trying to astroturf black support. Not only does our life depend on us seeing through it, we're disgusted by it.

Now you've abandoned your party. Despite all the money you've made grifting off the party, you have one bad day in your new Democratic life, and now you're trying to rally us to abandon our decades long investment in Joe Biden because he needed a nap, a Joe Biden who beat Trump when you losers couldnt, and you are flumoxed as to why we won't give up like you.

It's because you don't belong here. You have no equity. You haven't built anything with us. You've never been in the trenches. You're not in touch with us. You don't know the community. And more than anything, you don't have the first clue about Black culture.

And in the past 3 days, with endless Black people, specifically Black women, telling you you're wrong, you have no idea what you're talking about, and that you need to LISTEN to Black people, your every response has been the white privileged casually racist response of "I know the Black community better than you."

You don't.

Hell, the idea of representation never even occurred to you until you adopted a Black kid and you're walking through the toy aisle and couldn't find any black dolls. If you couldn't grasp that until it was forced upon you, what makes you think you know us better than we know ourselves? We've been black our whole lives.

And how do I know you'll NEVER have a place in our party?

759.8K

You adopted a little Black girl and still don't even bother to listen to Black women, let one Black people.

In the words of Kendrick Lamar: You're not a colleague. You're a fucking colonizer.

[obsessive-ego]

When you find out Mr beetleman is a dead guy

Toonjuice x reader

"I guess there's no running from it anymore, y/n, this is Beetlejuice, he's a... dead guy" the kid flinches absolutely terrified you'll tell her parents about this well kept secret

"Wha-" you start

Beetlejuice quickly grabs your hand and shakes it "Come on lyds no need for the stuffy introductions, me and y/n have met countless times right toots?" He chuckles

In a flash Beetlejuice shifts from his current form to that of that loud strange schoolmate of Lydia's, Betty, before you can say anything he changes again into that incompetent handyman, beetleman, beetlejuice contuines to shift and change into every form he took to hide away from the living until he reverts back to his default look

"You're taking this very well" Lydia interrupts, hopeful over your lack of screaming

"The whole time" you whisper "the whole time?!" You shout "the whole time" you continue, this was happening too fast, you couldnt make heads or tails of what was really happening

Beetlejuice pulls you into a side hug, and licks the palm of his hand before trying to smooth back his hair with it "I get how you feel babes, you've had the ghoul of your screams under your nose the whole time, I'd be in shock too"

"Beetlejuice!" Lydia shouts "this is serious, y/n Beetlejuice is alittle rough around the edges, but he's my best friend, and if my parents knew about him-" she pauses "please don't tell them, he's a really funny guy once you get to know him"

This was so weird, but the way the kid was looking at you, you couldn't say no right away, at the very least you'll get to know the guy before making any decisions, an adult ghost hanging around a kid? The whole thing seemed weird to you so until further notice you'll keep your mouth shut

"Yeah, I'll keep this to myself"

With that statement you left, you honestly needed to sit down and think about what just happened, all these people turned out to be one guy, but the more you think about it the more it kinda makes sense, each disguise demonstrated that same level of pathetic and loud.

...

"Did you expose yourself to y/n on purpose?"

You have left the room in a hurry, a little shaken from learning the truth, but you gave your word to keep this to yourself, leaving Lydia hopeful, but suspicious a certain ghost blew his cover on purpose

"What?"

"Did you expose yourself to y/n on purpose" she asks again

"What?! No!" Beetlejuice quickly covers his body, one hand covering his chest, the other his groin, though he is fully clothed

Lydia rolls her eyes and sighs "I'm just saying it was pretty sloppy, even for you"

"Thanks"

"No, y/n walked in before you spun your head, like you wanted them to know-"

The kid wasn't stupid, she knew beetlejuice was fond of you, the ghoul would pesture you at any given opportunity, no matter the form he took.

"Would ya look at the time lyds, I gotta scram-" he was trying to run away

"What's done is done beetlejuice, we just have to show y/n you're a good guy underneath all the grime"

Beetlejuice scowls "if ya wanna drive em off, sure, I'm in the slime of my prime kid, no breather can resist my gross charm♡" beetlejuice snorts out a laugh adjusting his suit

"We're doomed"

[mbat]

i keep thinking about book 14 and the crown thing at the end that can seem ridiculous if you take it at face value, but i dont think youre supposed to take it at face value

the icewing crown was enchanted by a past queen so that everyone who wore it afterwards would hate nightwings just as much as she did. at first that like, comes out of nowhere and sounds like. funny honestly. like okay, sure, okay. racism crown

but i personally believe its meant to be more symbolic than literal

this queen, queen diamond as we know, had lost her son to another tribe, she percieved it as him having been kidnapped, stolen from her and never returned, but because she couldnt accept the truth that her son had simply fallen in love with a dragon from that tribe and had run off with her. quite frankly, no matter the truth, losing your child and never seeing them again can be life changing, even traumatic.

im not excusing her actions of course, but rather trying to explain them and my own point

not to mention that they were primary royal line at this point, and on top of that were both the last animus dragons from a long, long line of animus dragons who the icewing tribe held near and dear for many generations. this decision her son made would change the whole world, but also would change her whole world.

she was definitely pissed about it, and would not dare let anyone forget. she ended up kidnapping and imprisoning the woman he ran off with for not only the rest of her own life, but for the 2000 years following long after her death. cementing how harshly she hated what happened, and hated a woman who simply fell in love with her son.

personally im not surprised she went a step further and enchanted the crown to drive the point into the ground.

with all that out of the way, the symbolism is clear to me. its the trauma and the hatred being passed down through the generations. she didnt want anyone to dare forget what happened, and they wouldnt for a long time. not until snowfall went on a journey that would change her own life, this time for the better, and she said a big ol fuck you to several icewing traditions all at once.

of course, she wasnt the first of her own generation of family to say fuck you to it all, her own sister and cousins all proved that, but especially in the way that winter released foeslayer and quite literally broke the way a tradition even functioned, and ended the long, long torture of the poor woman, and one of diamonds horrible ways of expressing her hatred for what happened.

but snowfall is a queen. a queen who wore that shitty little racism crown more often than literally anyone wanted aside from whatsername (tundra?) and her mind was racing with paranoia of not only her own tribespeople and other tribes, but especially of the nightwings.

it wasnt until she spent days not only with other dragons, but ending up as other dragons due to animus magic she foolishly decided to wear without knowing what it was (it was a good thing of course) that she was stripped of her debilitating paranoia for the most part, and saw how her own tribe traditions were only making it worse.

a cliff made to physically harm anyone who would try and enter the kingdom. a board that she literally had to change daily that insisted that certain dragons had to be better than eachother. and of course, a crown that was enchanted to make you hate certain dragons the way your ancestor did because she couldnt cope with her own circumstances a long, long time ago.

she looked around and saw a tribe that was long broken because of traditions people were terrified to touch, but she was sick of it all, and not only that, she wanted to be the best queen she could possibly be.

she broke the cliff wall, officially letting other dragons in. she broke the circles wall, refusing to trap anyone else in the hell of trying to be better than eachother (and of her having to stand in front of it every night miserably sorting people lol), and she broke the crown that was poisoned to make her and every other queen feel the hatred of someone long dead, literally or not.

she saw the best way to be queen as breaking traditions that her people held dear, but those traditions were only harming them in the long run. and on top of it, she broke a long held chain of generational hatred that she was never supposed to feel in the first place.

queen diamond couldnt cope with the loss of her son and she took it out on anyone she saw fit, and that meant even her own descendants* who had nothing to do with it that she would never even meet. thats like, the definition of generational trauma isnt it?

*(or rather her niece and who came after her)

so yeah, racism crown ha ha, but like... symbolic of generation trauma, and eventually the breaking of it and other things as breaking that chain and the traditions that upheld them.

[odetoagirl]

i hate you. say something.

i hate her, i hate her i hater her i hate her. how is it not possible to uderstand your own daughter. does she have no sense of atmosphere, does she not feel the distance between us, that when we are sat in a room together we are still drifting further apart. or does she not notice? perhaps she does not care to. or let us say she does, it is so palpable it seems that surely she couldnt. we never talk about anything real or proper unless i am manic and desperate and screaming, i think maybe she doesnt know how to have real proper deep meaningful conversations because the muscle has never been worked, or not for a long time, maybe she doesnt have it at all. i think that is possible, that she doesnt even know that type of connection exists, that that realm of motion and emotion is what everything really is. like a blind child can never imagine sight, she cannot udnerstand what it is to be human. and if she does she must be utterly lonely, for i have never seen her talk about it to anyone, ive never even watched the cogs turn behind her eyes. ive watched her sit with what she considers her best friends and closest family and still ive never seen her talk past what she does with me. perhaps to her this IS closeness. but then shes said before she knows i keep secrets, that she knows there is so much i dont tell her. but she never ever asked, i never knew she cared or that she noticed or that she wanted to know because how could i? and what would i say if she did ask? probably not the truth; she does not foster a safe environment for such vulnerability that i feel. i think she does not ask because she is scared of what i would say, certainly i am aware of my own overwhelming arrogance and certainty of my own correctness - willing to admit when i am wrong or do not know, but otherwise stubborn and certain i am overwhelmingly right most of the time, for i persue knowledge like a lion and retain it too. i am born of fear though, or it has been nurtured deep into me, permeating every ounce of me, so i can never muster the courage to broach anything or say anything, i am scared of her reaction, and she is scared of nothing but the truth. the way in which i speak of things is brutally vulnerable and very direct, critical and analytic but not criticising, but every time i try to speak she reads my tone as cruel, offensive, an attack. only she in my life has this response, most others experience it as a raw and brutal breath of fresh air in a landscape of masked insincerity and inference. she is so polite and prim and proper i think the honestly reads as cold and harsh, but it is only my desperate desire to connect that drives it. the soul longs so desperately for a mother's love, to be understood wholly, and cared for unconditionally. i dont need her to like me or be proud of me but i need so badly for her to know me, to pursue the knowing of me, to want to understand even if she never can, to try, to hear what i have to say with an ear open to new ideas. i could do without her love and care if only i had her understanding. even now her love and care is lackluster, it is in practicality only that it presents itself, which is the facet of love i need least, i need warmth and tenderness, and a relaxing environment within which i can speak and feel and enjoy freely from a scornful eye. but she doesnt know that because she doesnt know me, or she does know that somewhere deep down and the dots just need connecting. she has mocked my weakness, my quickness to tears as a child, my closedness as i have become older. it seems idiotic to me that she has not yet considered how she might chage her own behaviour to nuture and assist me in some way. has she ever thought in any metacritical sense about how she may help me? instead of thinking about how she might DO to help me, whether it is the doing of anything that is needed to help me at all.

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

OBSESSIVE STOLAS X Male Imp Pt.1

(This is a long fanfic and will consist of multiple parts.)

The day Stolas met you, the life which had been boring at worst and full of love and respect at best, was in complete shambles. Broken ever since the "Brunch incident".

He and his wife were barely on speaking terms, and when they did speak, it would almost exclusively devolved into a fight filled with harsh words and thrown objects.

His darling starfire hadn't spoken to him in over a week. Something he'd usually chock up to teenage angst, but she actively avoided him now.

Something she'd never do before.

And so with his homelife slowly tearing him apart, he naturally thought a visit to his favourite Imp in all hell would brighten his day.

And that's where you came in.

You'd worked at I.M.P for the last few months and were quickly becoming a valued member of the I.M.P family.

Youd just finished a job and were about to fill out the rather tedious paperwork the job entailed, When the towering Demon Prince entered the office.

You were too proud an Imp to admit it, but when you first saw Prince Stolas you were a little starstruck.

Said Prince, apon finding a new Imp at I.M.P's office immediately inquired as to who you were

Taken off guard by suddenly be talking to a Prince of hell, you spent a moment fumbling your words, before finally telling him your name.

Stolas finding the whole thing quiet adorable.

Stolas sparked up a conversation, asking how you ended up at I.M.P and your work with the company. Something you were more than happy to tell him about.

You told him how Blitzø had hired you after youd single handedly killed 3 men in a fight with only a can opener.

Then you told him about how working as an assassin was challenging but enjoyable work, all things considered.

You tell him how working for the chaotic force of nature that is Blitzø was great too, when he wasn't being a prick.

As charming as Stolas found your slightly flustered conversation. There was a purpose to his visit. And so asking you if Blitzø was in, to which you told him he was in his office.

Stolas suddenly became anxious, wondering aloud if his outfit was presentable or not.

This caused you to laugh, placing a hand over your mouth.

Stolas was immediately indignant, demanding to know what was so funny.

You killed the laugh with a cough, before telling him you laughed because simply put "You'd never seen a more ravishing demon in all your time in hell" And for him to be anxious was funny to you.

Stolas Blushed hard, a Warmth he didn't understand spreading through his chest. It had been so long since he'd received such praise from someone who wasnt utterly subservient to him.

Sputtering out an timid thank you, before immediately making his way Blitzø's office, Ignoring your cries to wait.

Being violently thrown out of Blitzø's office was not how he saw this unplanned little 'Rendezvous' going.

Blitzø stepped out stared down at him, a mixture of disgust and anger plain on his face.

'I'm so sick of this shit stolas' Blitzø grumble out, pinching the bridge between his eyes. 'We made a Fucking deal, I come over ONCE a MONTH and fuck your brains out. And you leave me alone unless you have a job for us.'

Stolas tried to reply, trying to explain why he was there. But before he could Blitzø interjected 'I can put up with all creepy perverted texts and shit, but I am not your God Damned SEXTOY Stolas! I don't want to see your ass don't here again!' He screamed, before slamming the door.

Stolas just sat there. Unwilling to move. He felt like he'd just been slapped.

His eyes stung. His throat burned. He clutched at the ground, and even as his world fell apart around him, he could only focus on one thing.

He felt so cold...

He had no one.

No one loved him.

He felt so cold...

It took everything he had not to breakdown, he couldn't, not here. It was unbecoming of a prince to been seen showing such weakness.

The sudden sensation of something on his shoulder. Daring to open his eyes, he was shocked to find You, standing over him. Hand on his shoulder and a sympathetic smile on your face.

You reached into your coat and removed a handkerchief.

Croutching down you wiped the growing dew around his eyes.

Putting away the hanky, you stood up and offered him a hand.

Helping him to his feet, you asked him if he was okay. Stolas immediately tried to put up his aristocratic facade and assure you he was fine.

Only for the words to die in his throat and for him to almost burst into tears again.

Leading him into the nearby office, you find yourself in the conference room. You sat him on said conference table.

Quickly zipping off, you returned a moment later with a little plastic cup of water.

Handing the little cup, he took it with a wordless thanks.

Stolas felt cold.

He felt like his whole world was falling apart. He had nothing.

His wife couldnt stand him.

His beloved Starfire wouldn't stay in the same room as him.

He had nothing and no one.

No one loved him.

Why should he even go on.

Even through there crimson glow, you could see just how close he was to breaking down.

So before his despair could consume him completely, you did the only thing you could think of.

You climbed atop the conference table and pulled the poor owl-boi into a hug.

It was a little awkward due to the height difference, but standing on the table brought you high enough to pull his head onto your chest.

Stolas was utterly shocked, not just by the action itself, But the fact you did this on your own acord.

He didn't have to barter or beg or make promises for your affection.

You just... gave it freely.

He couldnt help himself.

It had been so long since he'd last felt the loving touch of another soul.

And for you to give affection so openly, he felt he could let himself be vulnerable to you. He releases a long anguished cry, bursting into tears.

You just held him close, gently petting his head, whispering words of comfort, telling him everything would be okay.

He didn't know why but your words brought out

Stolas threw his arms around you, holding onto you as though you were the last anchor in his sea of despair.

The poor owl drenched the front of your shirt with his dejected tears.

Stolas didn't know how long he cried for, and you simply didn't care.

You could tell he needed this and were more then happy to give the demonic prince some much needed affection.

Eventually, Stolas shed all the tears he had, standing up he unintentionally pulled himself from your warm embrace.

Stolas instantly missed the warmth of your touch. The same all consuming coldness as before instantly returning.

Looking up at Stolas you draw your handkerchief and go to wipe his tear stained face.

But before you could, Stolas grabbed your hand, his other hand was placed on the back of your head, he pulls you into a kiss.

You weren't sure how to react, stolas certainly didn't give you any time to figure it out as he pulled you deeper into the kiss.

While you were initially shocked by the kiss, you honestly, didn't care to put up any kind of resistance.

While you would of preferred he asked for a kiss, you could tell the guy needed this. And all things considered, you were happy to oblige him.

So when his tongue slid across your teeth, asking for entrance, you wrapped your arms around his neck you let it in, giving stolas full access to your mouth.

You began leaning into the kiss, doing your best to return his passion.

Stolas, took your returning passion as further permission, he became more aggressive.

His tongue dominated your mouth, as his hands began roamed across your body.

Stolas was in bliss, each time you shivered or moaned, bringing him further pleasure.

Taking each sound as encouragement, he became more and more aggressive. Sure that each sound you made was an unconscious sign of love.

He became more desperate to hear your angelic voice as moaned or cried out. Desperate to hear someone say they loved him.

Gripping his head, you tried to de-escalate the situation before it got out of hand.

Of course that was easier said then done, as Stolas was much stronger then he looked. But after much effort, despite Stolas's silent insistence that you continue, you finally managed to break the kiss.

Stolas's forceful nature found you pushed back onto the table. Stolas towering over you, staring down at you with those awe inspiring crimson eyes.

'We cant be this doing this' You try to tell him 'Not here. What if someone walks in on us?' The question hung in the air. When it became obvious it wasn't deterring his growing need you asked 'What if Blitzø catches us?'

Stolas pulled back at that.

Looking to the side he rubbed his arm, Anxiety bubbling in his chest.

Stolas hadn't thought of that.

What if Blitzø did walk in?

Finding him with one of his employees.

In his office.

Would Blitzø be upset?

Would he yell at him, scream and throw a fit, insisting he had betrayed him...

Would Blitzø even care?

There was a part of him that said 'Of course he would. Blitzø, no matter how much he denied it, surely Blitzø cared for him on some level.'

Stolas could tell himself that all he wanted, but deep down, he knew the truth.

He placed his hand on your cheek, looking down at you. He tried to speak only for a new wave of emotions hit him, causing him on reflex to fall silent.

It was in that moment, as he stood over you, did he realis he didn't need to hide his vulnerability from you. You weren't judging him, he could be vulnerable to you and would judge him for it.

His heart swelled and despite having just met you, he found himself developing a deep yearning to be with you.

'I-I know this is sudden. And you have every right to say no. But please... No one has ever shown me such genuine affection like you have today.'

' I'm so used to people only interested in me for my status or resources.' Stolas held himself, looking dejectedly to the side. A new wave of sorrow enveloping him.

'Your the only one who's shown me the slightes care, past what I could do for them.' He didn't meet your gaze, he ran his hand down your chest, his voice becoming just above a whisper. 'I have nothing (Y/N), I have no one. Right now your the only thing I have.'

'I need to feel something (Y/n), I need to feel something before I fall apart, and I want feel it with you.' He was practically begging you by this point.

Things like pity and mercy were a death sentence in hell.

There was nothing stopping you from saying no. You cared little for royalty. You weren't some door mat that took every word from royalty as gospel.

But right now, this great Demonic Prince standing before you. He didn't want your obedience. He wasn't forcing you to do anything.

He just wanted some sort of affection. something you knew you could give him so easily.

How could you say no?

With a deep sigh, you resigned yourself to your fate. Leaning forward you place your hand under his chin and raised his head to meet your gaze. Stolas was shocked when pulled him close and planted a kiss on his his beak.

'Lock the door' you whispered.

[familyagrestefanblog]

Ml Meta analysis: Adriens current absents, season 4 structure and theory on whats to come

Here I am back again with my endless rambling.

I'm just as worried for our cat son as everyone else (maybe even more) which is why I tried figuring out for my own sanity why he is so absent currently.

Upfront I wanna warn yall that I wrote this post in one rush this night and therefore had no time to do alot of editing. So things can probably get a bit more messy than usual but I tried to write it clearly, while writing 2 other ml essays as well. This is the one drawback of having so many episodes in such a short time, I have no time to write my posts x3 I had another theory planned for before Optigami airs but I don't think I can manage before tomorrow.

But let's not waste any more time. Grab a snack and here we go:

It's 2am right now but I think I just realized why Adrien/Chat Noir is being sidelined so much recently.

Sure, yes, it'll come into play in the very obviously set up Ladynoir drama later on but what I wanna talk about now is more the structure of how s4 is most likely written in terms of both Marinettes and Adriens side of the story. And then deep dive a little on why I think so.

You see season 4 is now reaping what has been built up from s1-s3, but this also includes that you have to take the time now to properly recreate the new possibilities out of the loose pieces of the broken status quo.

Seriously, season 4 has to handle and reinvent ALOT. The show got now officially announced to have 7 seasons, which is exactly the amount of seasons Astruc said they have story for. I couldnt find the official tweet from Thomas himself but I one from another source:

And now look take a look at the possible shows structure:

- s1-s3 was the first status quo and built up everything so now they can pay off after pay off while...

-... S4 is now the transitional season where the old status quo gets left behind as we work towards the new one.

-I have nothing to proof this of course, but in the same sense it would now make sense that s5-s7 where/are planned to play out under the final status quo. If I'm not wrong at first the show was under contract for 5 seasons, which would mean that after the transitional season 4 there was only 1 season of the final status quo for sure. Still, done right it could have been worth the wait. But this isn't where Miraculous will end. The show actually got the 7 seasons the creator wanted and THIS is how I think the long term plan makes the most sense. Nothing all too complicated but still hella effective in its execution.

But now back to our two main characters, because Marinettes and Adriens development are the two aspects that will raise the show to the intense heights of the s5-s7 status quo.

From s1-s3 Marinette was the active player but she was hardly involved with the actual PLOT of the show, since most of the plot and backstory of the show lies directly with the Agreste family. She only started to get her own plot when she literally created a new one by getting involved with the miraculous lore, because the closest Marinette got to the Agreste plot was "The collector".

Adrien in the other hand was always literally right in the middle of the plot but he wasn't enough of an active player to bring us further either.

Season 4 is now going to add the missing parts for both of them and as the very beginning of the season showed us: there are going to do it SEPERATLY.

This is why "Truth" and "Lies" have been structured the way they are (One Marinette-centric the other Adrien-centric). Yes, Marinette and Adrien are meant to end their story victoriously together, but they are simply not the people they have to be to become such a powerful team. Certain aspects of their journey they have to do... basically disconnected from the other one. The "Miracle Queen" endcard shows it quite nicely as well where they are heading now: away from each other.

Obviously the season started with Marinette growing into her new guardian status including everything miraculous related, since she is the main lead and because the new ways the episodes can now utilize everything Miraculous need to be established first before we deep dive into the messed up Agreste mystery.

So while I totally agree that it is annoying to get so little Adrien/Chat Noir content currently I also understand the practicality behind it. As I said, before s4 Marinette was the active main character who mostly didn't really have her own plot. So now adding her plot aspect and have her ACTIVELY figure everything needed out means that right now Marinette/Ladybug is the active focus main character who is solving a huge part of her s4 character arc. That simply drowns out Adrien as the currently still mostly-inactive secondary main character who, yes, may be right in the middle of the shows emotional + villain plot/lore/backstory, but that side of the story simply isn't in focus at the moment.

And I gotta say, I'm kinda glad they're doing it this way. Because I'm gonna be honest, when the season starts giving us Adrien/family Agreste episodes like "Lies" and "The collector" (in this case "Gabriel Agreste" for example) again, I don't want the narrative to be forced to spend time with something guardian lore based just because they didn't took their time to do it earlier.

So, as we see on the s4 episode raster "Gabriel Agreste" is episode 9. Honestly, I expect most of it (especially the ones near the beginning, so ep. 5 included) til that episode to be Marinette based the way everything else til now did (besides Lies obviously and Guilt trip didn't hardcore focus on Marinette/Ladybug either and that's because it's after "Gabriel Agreste") in the spirit of "Truth". It's just the needed set up from Marinettes side of the story and I can live with that.

Because we actually saw the change after "Gabriel Agreste" already in "Guilt trip".

I don't know why some people pretend like Chat almost cataclysming himself after hearing how guilt-eaten Nino is for Adriens sake isn't a huge indicator that the episodes afterwards will not only acknowledge but also DEAL with Adriens/Chats situation and problems. Remember, we are talking about CHAT NOIR here not Adrien Agreste. The show has always portrayed and acknowledged ADRIENS issues very straight forward and with the proper seriousness (especially when it comes to his family), whereas Chat Noir was often mostly used for comedic purposes with some exceptions of his problems being properly delt with (since Marinette/Ladybug was mostly oblivious to them, since Adrien keeps them hidden so well). But now in "Guilt trip" LADYBUG was confronted head-on with just how much negativity Chat has inside and how quickly and extremely he drowns in it.

Sure, correct, the episode also has his negativity "washed away" rather quickly by Ladybug opening up to him on how important he is to her

But this is in character for both of them as "Lies" very clearly showed us that the way BOTH OF THEM behave here is where the problem lies. There Ladybug was freaked out after Chat threw his life away once again but quickly accepted Chats very direct avoidance of the confrontation, since he seemed to be alright to her.

Something I also find noteworthy here is that Ladybugs dialog is "Seriously, you need to stop doing this to me!", which is.... a VERY Marinette-centric way of acknowledging the problem.

It completely shifts the issue away from Adriens extremely alarming self-harmful/suicidal tendencies and instead only calls out how it affects Marinette (whose feelings here are definitely valid, don't get me wrong!). It showcases perfectly how unaware Marinette still is of her partners inner tumult at that point and also parallels how Marinette called Adriens life "perfect" at the beginning of the episode (This is no shade towards Marinette, in general the entirety of "Lies" is about showing us just how harmful Adriens Chat Noir persona actually IS to him so these two moments of her being oblivious to Adriens and Chats immense problems very much fits into that episodes narrative and sets up what's about to come. I still have an entire essay in the making for "Lies" but, guys, it's just getting longer and longer. I suck xD).

So the fact that an episode after "Gabriel Agreste" brings this scenario back, just a little different but ALOT more revealing of Adriens immense problems to his partner, is VERY telling. Besides other things it tells us that this happens at the beginning of the arc that deals with (at least) Chats issues since Ladybug is still way too quickly too ready to accept her partner as "completely fine" again just because Chat makes it seem that way (while some negativity increasing guilt bubbles still to stick to him.).

And yet, others have already pointed it out that Ladybug IS noticing what Chat wanted to do and reacted accordingly...

she just didn't speak of it the way it is because it overwhelmed her, which calls back to Ladybugs "You have to stop doing this to me!" dialog.( For a great breakdown of her dialog HERE is a link to @flightfoot​ post)

In "Lies" Marinette was way too stressed by her new guardian role to even consider Chats side of it and therefore only spoke of her own, but in "Guilt trip" she's already past that stressful arc. So here she is immediately able to recognize Chats suicidal action for what it is, come to his (much needed) aid and lift her partners spirit the best she can by emotionally opening up to him (which is something we KNOW is incredibly hart for Marinette).

The difference between her reaction in "Lies" and in "Guilt trip" shows that Marinette has her guardian role already mostly handled and is now mentally able to be there for others again, so the extremely Marinette-centric "Truth"-like episodes are mostly passed. Now the episodes can bring Adrien/Chat Noir more into the game again and even shift to "Lies" - like episodes because MARINETTE can pay more attention to him again and isn't faced with something new, important and overwhelming Miraculous related every step she takes.

And THAT is extremely fair from a narrative standpoint.

---

I really need to stop elaborating so much on these posts because I'm only NOW actually getting to the point of where Adriens journey will disconnect for a while from Ladybugs. Sorry guys.

Okay, to understand where I'm going with this I will have to quickly explain how I always saw Chat Noirs place in the Ladybug+Chat Noir vs Hawkmoth war ever since s1.

Because here is the thing: Adrien wasn't able to truly leave the battle field ONCE since the origins. Marinette was completely out of Hawkmoths and Gabriels reach once she detransformed, which balances out her basically being the personification of the good sides force. And Gabriel literally decided whenever or not the battle is even ACTIVE right now! Besides that he is in complete control of his own actions and environment, which gives him all the necessary time, safety and downtime he needs to act as the personification of the evil sides force.

Marinette and Gabriel always knew when they were safe and off the battle field, but ADRIEN never had that and it left him LITERALLY right in the middle of both Ladybugs and Hawkmoths sides.

You see, because before Adrien became Chat Noir he basically was part of Hawkmoths side just by default. He was born into this family, that's his father and lost mother and everything he knows. Adrien didn't/doesn't even have to KNOW that he is part of Hawkmoths side, he's his son at some level he just IS! And I'm not saying this as anything negative, Adrien coming from Hawkmoths side is literally the reason why he became Chat Noir!

Because whereas Gabriel is having the time of his damn life as evil terrorist, created out of tragic and sinister circumstances, ADRIEN on the other hand couldn't handle his families environment and very same circumstances anymore and accepted the role as Paris' hero to escape his heritage for a while.

Keywords being: a WHILE.

Something unique about Adrien I always loved is the fact that he is the villains abused, isolated and overworked SON, who becomes a hero to escape his depressing life and YET it was never Adriens intention to LEAVE IT. Adrien merely wanted to use his time as Chat Noir to let of some steam and breath freely while doing some hero work so he can go back into his civilian life and try to one day successfully ment his broken family. He couldn't handle the current situation anymore but he still always saw worth in his family/father. I have SO MUCH respect for that!

But him not intending to leave his family and instead regaining strength as Chat Noir to continue to hold onto it came with the downside of him not being able to fully become part of the good sides people/force either. Hence why Adriens/Chats place always felt so lost in comparison to Ladybugs and Hawkmoths clear positions. He's caught in between their extremes trying to balance out BOTH at the same time. What an impossible task!

So he couldn't put in the same focus as Ladybug into being the good sides force because he is literally burned out from his civilian life on Hawkmoths evil side. But he also couldn't be involved as an ACTIVE member of his fathers evil force, because he chose to find refuge in his friends and as a hero on Ladybugs side.

Adrien unknowingly is part of BOTH the shows two extreme moral sides of good and evil and this season we will see Adrien/Chat Noir grow into his own within BOTH sides as well.

Because he simply couldn't have done so right away in s1. Now after 3 seasons Chat Noir is more than solidly established as one of Paris Heros and his time with Ladybug, the other heros and his normal friends helped him greatly to find his place on the good side. "Lies" set this up as Chat Noirs arcs starting point that now he has to stop connecting "being heroic" strictly with following Ladybug (as Marinette is the STAND IN personification for the good side, she's still a flawed human being like everyone else and not the ultimate force of perfect and good. Big difference.) just as he has to start looking past his fathers sympathetic moments/qualities to see that Hawkmoth isn't a 100%, inhumane monster just because he is the stand-in personification of evil in their fight, but the man he calls Father and still needs to be taken down. (I talked about this in more detail on THIS post)

Adrien has to seperat himself from Ladybugs path and focus on his family and I believe it'll start with the much dreaded (but expected) Ladynoir fight.

Funnily enough, what I'm talking about was actually already set up in "Frozer" I just didn't remember that for a bit. In "Frozer" we saw Ladynoir having a fight which caused Chat Noir to go his own way in the episodes battle.

I always found it interesting that the episode didn't had Chats decision, to not follow Ladybugs lead here, turn out to be a huge mistake. Almost every other show would have done so but now I think I understand. This episode and s2 in general SET UP the s4 conflict, s3 LEAD UP to it and now s4 DELIVERS it.

So what happened in "Frozer" is a direct parallel to what about to go down:

Ladynoirs fight will cause Chat Noir to not simply  follow Ladybugs side anymore the way he used to, but note, he DOESN'T leave the good side AND they make up again in the end after Chat saves Ladybug from the akuma. He just does things on his own because he isn't on great terms with her for a while. "Frozer" showed Chats decision to not only NOT be a mistake but also a necessary part of defeating the akuma, just the way it'll be in s4. Damn, Adrien breaking away from Ladybugs side, the way she (unintentionally tho) did at the beginning of the season, to focus more on himself and his family will be the game changing factor, when Adrien will have his completing arc where he goes from "not active character within the villain/backstory plot" to "ACTIVE character within the villain/backstory plot".

And we already saw with Marinette how many fast breakthroughs we get through these completing arcs. Which is also a reason for why Adriens/ Chats arc comes later in the season, because BUDDY. Once Adrien starts to actively uncover his families mystery and fathers secrets Gabriel is SCREWED! Adrien will gain the needed inside knowledge that complements Marinettes Miraculous power; and reunited they can take on whatever the hell kind of scale the Agrestes plan actually is.

So how to end this post? My biggest intention was to raise hope for everybody (myself included lol) who is right now very concerned and upset about how side-lined our boy is at the moment. But I prefer doing so in a way that actually works with canons context instead of sugarcoating what I don't like. And Adriens/Chats current position I definitely do NOT like but accepting it as realistic outcome from s1-s3 and set up for the escalation for both Ladynoir and his home situation gives it the proper purpose and pay off (narrative and character wise) that it SHOULD have.

Basically, the endcards of "Truth" and "Lies" show it perfectly.

It looks like ShadowMoth is turning a blind eye towards Adrien/Chat Noir because of Ladybugs new guardian status and "greater importance". But Gabriels tunnel vision on Ladybug will leave him vulnerable to his own sons secret actions against him and Gabriel won't see it coming until its already too late.

[chromes-corner]

i keep asking 4 characters on the bingo thingy but i can’t help myself

so… dark cacao & caramel arrow ?

YOU ROTTED MY BRAIN SO BAD WITH THIS BOTH OF THESE ARE REALLY LONG

im doing caramel arrow first >:)

caramel arrow is fucking cool. i love her outfit so fucking much ughhhh its so pretty the black and white motif of the dc kingdom is my EVERYTHING!!!! AND HER FUCKING WEAPON???? DUAL BLADES THAT ATTACH INTO A BOW???? THATS LITERALLY WICKED I WANT ONE OF THOSE!!!! also i eat up strong female characters like theyre my last meal on earth i just adore her resolve and her loyalty and her STRENGTH shes a BOSS of the GIRL NATURE

despite me loving her so so much, i cant help but feel as though she got SHAFTED in the story relevance department. the only role she really plays in the 13-14 story is that shes the means by which gingergang infiltrates the castle. thats honestly all she really does???? and thats SO DISAPPOINTING!!!!!!!! she couldve been so much more!!!!!!!!!! not to mention how she acts when she finally finds dark cacao. instead of, i dont know, yelling at him for abandoning her and the rest of the kingdom and saying that his long-winded message of telling her to get help was fucking STUPID, she just kisses his ass and says “ok lets go fight!! i never gave up on you!!” LIKE DUDE SHOW SOME SELF-RESPECT AND SAY “HEY MY KING IM LOYAL TO YOU BUT YOURE FUCKING TERRIBLE AT THIS!!!”

THEY DIDNT EVEN LET HER GET REVENGE ON AFFOGATO LIKE GRRRR ok i get its rated like 12+ so they couldnt have her straight up murder him BUT STILL!!!!! she couldve put an arrow in that bitch’s back as he was running away. damn. caramel arrow should be allowed to murder because shes hot. but the recent bond story with her and affo is really fucking funny though so ill let this one slide.

 another thing is that i wanted to badly for her to have a one-on-one with dark choco the way he and dark cacao had. like, i wanted her to have a chance to ask him why. surely he doesnt have a vendetta against her like he did with his father???? he probably wouldve spoken with her, albeit briefly, considering she was literally his apprentice or something. we couldve learned so much about dark choco before the whole sword thing went down and about dark cacao back in those times. sighhhhh the girlboss was gatekeeped :( 

i really like her but once again she falls a little flat because the story doesnt give her a ton to do which sucks so hard :pensive: ily caramel arrow youre my homie forever <3

dark cacao the absolute MANWHORE second because I ACCIDENTALLY GOT CARRIED AWAY AND STARTED RANTING SO HARD IM SORRY

FULL RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT

i have very conflicting opinions about the king of not-my-problem. do I think he's hot? unabashedly. Do I think he's a terrible person? also unabashedly.

ill start with what i like. first off........ patrick seitz is a fucking phenomenal voice actor and GOD he really nails it with dark cacao. he's on my list of voices that i want to read me bedtime stories. second off, god am i a sucker for his design. the big chunky armor hits me right in my paladin soul. the color palette is so simple yet so striking, and i love how his violet-tinted grays and blacks contrast with his sons warmer tones. that's a neat little detail that really differentiates them and draws the generational line further beyond just ideals and alignment.

theres so much to fucking unpack about this man when it comes to personality and dialogue. i do NOT feel like going back and reading through that again until the emotional damage from the first time wears off, so just roll with me here. god FUCKING damn he actually got an entire arc for his personality and it STANDS OUT. pv and hb remained mostly static throughout their stories but dark cacao got the fucking special treatment and ughhhhh its so good.

i just...... excuse the pun but i adore how his soul jams theme is actually baked into his arc. with the other two ancients, it was their jams trait (light of truth and light of passion) that HELPED them finish their arcs, because they had both lost those things along the way and their journeys were about reacquiring pv's missing truth and hb's faded passion. with cacao, its his jam's trait, his own resolution was the very thing that was HINDERING him. he was so set in his ways BECAUSE he still had his strong resolution that he failed to realize that HE was the problem with his kingdom and his relationship with his son. god FUCKING damn that subversion from the norm WAS SO FUCKING REFRESHING AND I COULD GO ON ABOUT THIS FOREVER BUT I WONT!!!! THIS IS ALREADY SO LONG AND I HAVE ANOTHER THING TO GO OVER OK

okay so... theres something i really dont like about him. dark cacao is a terrible fucking king and dark choco was mostly in the right to try and make him change his ways (obviously he shouldn't have sought out a cursed sword to do so, as only bad things can come of that but still). all dark cacao could focus on was the wall. somewhere along the line he made it HIS burden alone to protect the world from the licorice sea, and because he put all his time and resources into that, others suffered because of it. his neglect is what caused the villages under the rule of his kingdom to waste away into ruin. hell, even citizens living in the CITADEL were suffering, for christs sake. resources were being depleted for this one project until there was nearly nothing left. my man may be earthbread's top emo model, but mans a FUCKING TERRIBLE KING. AND THE KICKER????????? NOT FUCKING ONCE DOES HE ACKNOWLEDGE THE DAMAGE HES DONE IN HIS NEGLECT!!!!!!!! NOT EVEN A FUCKING "HEY IM SORRY I BASICALLY ABANDONED EVERYONE BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY FIGHTING MY DEMONS FOR THIRTY YEARS" FUCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hes cool in odyssey tho

BTW IF YOU READ THIS FAR HERE TAKE THIS SICK FUCKING PIECE OF ART FROM THE ART BOOK AS A THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY INSANE RAMBLINGS

[crowsent]

tales from the smp: the village that went mad ft. salt losing his goddamn mind

“im jack. and. im a farm person, and i like p o t a t o e s”

starting the stream well i see. ponk coming in with generic potato boy and i love him for it

=

QUACKITY

QUACKITY

“my name is helga, wife of badboyhalo” QUACKITY

=

karl: “bad, explain your character other than person that beats up their wife”

bad, immediately: “well, i do declare that my name is jimmy and im the mayor of this town”

and then bbh just fucking starts spinning around when hes asked what the name of this town is, theres a pause, and then he fucking hits us with “not a very good town, town” like BAD

this is why i love this man

this is why i fux with this man

he is unparalleled

=

but as much as i love bbh and would literally murder god for him, he still canNOT match the quiet theatricality of mr corpsehusband saying “im gonna turn around and itll all make sense” and then he has a fucking CAT TAIL

corpse “choke me like you hate me” husband is a fucking CATBOY ladies and gentlemen

hes a fucking catboy which further proves something which we already knew was true all along: furries exist in minecraft and are, in fact, accepted in society and treated no less differently than humans

this is why fundy and antfrost can just walk around without anyone telling them shit

this is why wilbur can fuck a salmon

corpse “catboi” husband paved the fucking road and drove down in a custom vintage jaguar so every other furry on the smp could fucking drive behind him in a second hand porsche

i salute you mr corpsehusband

truly amazing

=

miles memeington, connoisseur of steak and bob, “bob the builder” need no explanation

=

CORNELIUS COMING IN WITH THE BRIGHTASS NEON GREEN BODYSUIT EVERYBODY

GIVE IT UP FOR CORNELIUS

BEST RPER ON THE ENTIRE SMP

CORNELIUS GREENBODYSUIT EVERYONE

=

tubbo with the very cute ‘i am robin, i am an orphan child” being IMMEDIATELY ruined by karl sayin

“dont let technoblade hear about that”

i love this already

i love this already

feed me technoblade lore. the man never fucking uploads so i have to get content adjacent to him

i wanna hear about technoblade the orphan killer. i want that backstory lore

and also i wanna protect robin the orphan boy because hello???????????

that skin???????

let me adopt you mr orphan boy

=

i love quackity just very casually going “my husband and i had intercourse” at the fucking TOWN MEETING BY THE WELL

truly

quackity’s comedy is unmatched

“hes into lots of weird stuff. he taught me this one thing called dunderhead”

and IMMEDIATELY someone (cant tell who, i have auditory processin issues) fucking goes “i DO NOT know this woman” and tbh if i were in that fucking town hall listening to my fucking weirdass neighbour casually lay out all her family secrets, id fucking say that shit too. id fucking disown this bitch as my neighbour. id fucking pretend she doesnt exist

like

imagine your fucking next door neighbour siddling up to you in the fucking w*lmart while youre just minding your own goddamn business trying to buy a fucking banana and your next door neighbour helga is dressed in a fucking bikini going “my husband fucked me so hard i couldnt walk” and even though you are clearly not interested and trying desperately to get away from her and her wackass gossip, helga goes ahead and fucking LISTS OUT HER HUSBANDS KINKS IN THE FUCKING FRUIT AISLE AT FULL VOLUME

id die

id just fucking die

id uninstall life right then and there

id pack my fucking bags and take a fucking extended vacation to guatemala and never return. id fucking change my goddamn name just to ensure that people never associate me with this woman.

thats what quackity is doing and i am very thankful this man exists and has given us the treasure that is helga

=

cOuLd iT Be iN ThE nAMe oF SaTaN???????? 🤔

karl

bruh

bustin out the fucking OLD conspiracies huh

“or could it be in the name of content on karls stream”

and hes just casually breaking the 4th wall too huh

kinda stealing techno “ill read donations in the middle of rp bc i need a distraction” blade’s go-to method there huh

its fucking funny tho. hes narrating this all serious-like but then he just goes “content on my stream uwu” and unrepentantly shatters that suspension of disbelief (in a good way)

but it wouldnt even matter bc apparently, satan and karls content have no difference

=

does protection exist in the smp? im worried for helgas health

the woman visited 3 different fucking houses in one night

=

i love how the rp just stops dead in its tracks around the campfire

no one was using any of the names

corpse was out here calling everyone by their actual names and not the names of their characters

=

this might just be bc im a pathological liar whos seen and heard shit but

i love him but

i mean

bbh cant lie

the man cannot lie

his voice is off, pitch wrong, tone sus

he is deffo a murderer

being accused of something hes not would make a person defensive/angry and bbh is not either

the man is LYING

and his argument/defense was LITERALLY tubbos

man cant lie

send this murderer to hell

=

tubbo can lie, but imo hes not. his voice is the voice of a person whos telling the truth

man is legit the doctor

a doctor who chose to fucking lay on the LORE

father killed in the red-eyed village wars????? mother taken from a young age?

motherfucker brought the LORE

motherfucker brought the SOB STORY

motherfucker legit said “here is my canonical in-character reason for being a doctor fuck you”

and honestly

what is bads defense?

karl asked if the town should kill an orphan over a mayor and there is legit no right answer to that

there is no good rebuttal

so bad straight went “you make a great point. just execute me”

amazing

10/10

=

idk who said it but “orphans just suck up resources” whoever you are i love you

i was eating my chips in peace but then i almost choked

thank

=

I FUCKING KNEW TUBBO WASNT THE MURDERER

his voice did not match

=

my bets on fucking ponk

=

its fucking DREAM

DREAM MURDERER

my respect for this man

motherfucker

shouldve known

he was kinda quiet at first but then he suddenly started talking a lot

son of a BITCH

gg dream

=

round 1 wasnt very rp heavy but

i can excuse that

=

who in the FUCK is making choking donald duck noises

who

bbh got a new skin cool

WHO IS MAKING THE CHOKING DONALD DUCK NOISES

=

corpse, about dreams death: “they killed him in front of me”

the town: “who was it corpse?”

ladies and gentlemen corpse, without a moments hesitation: “im also blind”

=

so the murderer is deffo not corpse. deffo not tubbo. probably not lazarbeam probably not bbh

that leaves quackity, george, and ponk

=

MY PARTNER WAS KILLED

MY PARTNER WAS KILLED

i knew corpse was a catboi but i didnt know that mr dream “i went on a date and almost married a fox” wastaken partnered with a fucking catboy

what is this

dnf is out, dream corpse is in /j

bruh

MY PARTNER WAS KILLED

bro

the tragedy

=

CALM DOWN WENCH THE BOY DID NOTHIGN

CORPSE

CORPSE

STOP

CORPSE

standing up for tubbo like that

corpse

please

my heart cannot handle this

=

okay so its deffo not corpse and tubbo. most likely not quackity after that fucking disaster at the campfire. probably not lazarbeam or bbh. still think its george and ponk

=

CORPSE

he got executed trying to console tubbo who legit WENT IN THE PRISON TRYING TO LOOK FOR HIM

BRUH

WHAT THE FUCK

=

TUBBO

no

TUBBO

technically its robin but

TUBBO

he lost his father so quick what the FUCK

i will murder god for robin

the little shaking head he does after corpse got killed. going completely silent as he lost the one family he had left.

bruh

robin bby no

=

I KNEW HE WASNT THE MURDERER

tubbo

im sorry

=

I KNEW IT WAS PONK

was wrong about lazarbeam/george tho

=

bruh

what the fuck

tubbo/robin honey i am so so sorry

catboi corpse i am so so sorry

[chaosspear]

Idk why but I'm thinking hard about shadow the hedgehog again... (the game)-- (putting this under a read more because this is. a lot of words)

originally I didnt get or appreciate the ending because I thought that shadow throwing away the photo was him completely rejecting his memories of maria and gerald (which are dear to him and kinda core to his character)-- but like no I don't think thats exactly it or what it's about now....

like shadow as a character has always had a frequent theme of searching for his purpose and doing things for others and not truly himself (this is why when modern games describe shadow as a morally grey character who will do anything and ally with anyone for his own personal goals i get so frustrated. like that couldnt be further from the truth and im about to go into why)-- and this trend kinda comes to the forefront in shth, where shadow has lost his memories again, and this time is being literally surrounded by people telling him who he is and what to do, and how him listening to different people results in him forming himself into a different person with a different goal. (and like, even in the neutral route this theme stays, it just happens at the end, when eggman convinces shadow he's an android)

Like there are a few instances where shadow (before 06) is self driven but its very, very rare. (actually this might be another interest way that he's a reflection of sonic, actually. shadow is always seeking for others to give him direction and purpose, meanwhile sonics purpose is driven purely by his own feelings and he frequently says he doesnt need a reason to do what he does.... interesting)

Most of the time, shadows goals, good or bad, always revolve around another person's wishes (except finding his memories but. his way of finding them is through others so. still not exactly self-driven). ie. revenge for gerald and maria, protect the world for maria, destroy the world for black doom, etc. Shadow doesn't really.... have a goal that's just something HE wants on his own if that makes sense. And I mean, can you blame him? Created as a cure and a weapon, thrown 50 years into the future and initially resolved to die taking revenge on the world-- honestly the majority of shadows life he probably didnt have a Chance to think of something he personally wants, or a reason to believe he should

IM GETTING OFF TRACK. anyways the shth ending. dear god this is getting long. the shth ending. when shadows saying goodbye to his past self and throwing away the photo or the past its less about forgetting or ignoring the past and i think more about... letting go of trying to search for himself and his purpose in there? A kinda declaration that he's going to look forwards rather than look back for his purpose in the present. ...not gonna lie i kinda lost what i was originally gonna say about the ending here. im neurodivergent could you tell

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

My initial suspicion turned out to be true. Jk is positive and in quarantine in las vegas. Honestly i dont believe bh's statement that jk was negative in korea at all. The way they secretly flew him out tells me that maybe they checked him with one of those personal kits and saw he was positive and flew him out immediately. Idk how our the medical procedures for departure in korea but either way it seems like korean government would allow bh to do this. This further proves me that even most of their 'official' statements requiring to involve truth could be mostly fabrication. I hope jk will recover and wont show much symptoms but i dont think the grammies will care either and he'll probably perform. This has been very fishy to me and my immediate thought was that jk was positive hence why they flew him secretly. I just didnt think the government would allow such i thing so i couldnt be sure.

My first thought was that it was a preventative measure, so he wouldn't get it from the other members or in case he eventually was positive, he could quarantine in the US and have at least entrance to the country secured. But it was too late, Hobi got sick 5 days ago, he should've gone then, I thought.

So I was just left with the possibility that he was meeting someone about his mixtape.

Yeah he was for sure positive in Korea already. It could be that he had symptoms on the 27th so he left inmediately, and got tested upon arriving to the US. Since Korea considers the first two days, was it? as contagious, it could also be that he tested positive during the weekend and traveled as soon as he wasn't contagious anymore, per Korea guidelines.

I don't think he got an "official" test at a health center tho, because then his case should've been reported and I'm not sure he would've been allowed to leave.

Just in case I wanna say that I don't think there's anything wrong about him travelling, I assume he didn't have close contact with anyone and of course he wore a mask all the time. The day Hoseok got sick I thought that they would be leaving for the US sooner than planned, it seemed to me like the best plan was to at least be in the US already even if they eventually tested positive.

[raveneira]

Alright this extends from a twitter discussion, this is my counter argument to this post right here that they referenced, now this is my rebuttal.

You accepted that Ashura has reincarnated inside of you, instead of accepted that Ashura has reincarnated as you…. This makes me think that Ashura is just clinging to Naruto and isn’t actually him… Cause when people reincarnate they reincarnate as someone or something else, not inside of them, that’s more like a possession…

First off thats not how reincarnation works, several times in this post they make the argument that in order to be a true reincarnation that the two people have to be one and the same, this couldnt be further from the truth though.

Reincarnation, also known as rebirth or transmigration is the philosophical or religious belief that the non-physical essence of a living being begins a new life in a different physical form or body after biological death

In most beliefs involving reincarnation, the soul is seen as immortal and the only thing that becomes perishable is the body. Upon death, the soul becomes transmigrated into a new infant (or animal) to live again. The term transmigration means passing of soul from another body to another after-death.

THIS is how reincarnation works.

The body itself is not that of Ashura, but of Naruto, but Ashura’s SOUL is INSIDE Naruto’s body. They may have the same soul, but the new body functions largely as its own individual.

Take Inuyasha for example, Kagome is the reincarnation of Kikyo, she has no memories of Kikyo’s but she inherited her spiritual powers and affinity with a bow and also her love for Inuyasha. Kagome and Kikyo are separate individuals yes, but she still has Kikyo’s soul and her powers by extension. The same applies to Naruto, he and Ashura are different people yes, but he still has Ashura’s SOUL and as such his power, he also inherited his love for his brother Indra which was passed down to Hashirama for Madara, and then Naruto for Sasuke.

To clarify YES Kagome grew to love Inuyasha through her own experiences for her own reasoning, and Naruto grew to love Sasuke like a brother through his own experiences and for his own reasoning. But this was both DESTINED and FATED to happen because of who they were, or more specifically who they are inside. It was inevitable.

The individuals may be different, but as reincarnations they still inherited their past lives powers and bonds/feelings towards the person who was most precious to them before dying. In Kikyo’s case it was her strong love for Inuyasha passed on to Kagome, and in Ashura’s case it was his strong love for his brother Indra and desire to save him passed down to Naruto.

When Hashirama and Madara died, the transmigration cycle resumed. Naruto Uzumaki became the next inheritor of Asura's chakra and will, with Sasuke Uchiha inheriting Indra's chakra and will. 

This is from the Naruto wiki, but it is still an accurate description of what reincarnation is in Naruto, the transmigration of someones soul into another persons body, which is exactly what Hagoromo says happened with Naruto and Sasuke.

It’s important to note Naruto is the only one who refers to it as being haunted by a ghost and possession, Hagoromo specifically says in EVERY instance that Naruto and Sasuke are reincarnations and that Ashura and Indra have reincarnated inside them, so to use Naruto’s words here as evidence is inaccurate, because Hagoromo specifically says reincarnation, not possession. 

In Hagoromo’s own character file refers to it as the transmigration of souls walking through an eternity of samara, making the argument of possession null and void.

Saṃsāra is a Sanskrit word that means "world". It is also the concept of rebirth and "cyclicality of all life, matter, existence", a fundamental belief of most Indian religions. In short, it is the cycle of death and rebirth. Saṃsāra is sometimes referred to with terms or phrases such as transmigration, karmic cycle, reincarnation, and "cycle of aimless drifting, wandering or mundane existence"

You accepted that Ashura has reincarnated inside of you, instead of accepted that Ashura has reincarnated as you…. This makes me think that Ashura is just clinging to Naruto and isn’t actually him… Cause when people reincarnate they reincarnate as someone or something else, not inside of them, that’s more like a possession…

So this statement right here ^ is thoroughly debunked.

The definition of reincarnation and possession is vastly different with how they function and honestly disproves your own point of them being different people, because in order to be possessed you have to be CONTROLED by another entity which Naruto and Sasuke are not.

To possess is to take control over, if Indra and Ashura took control over them and have been in control their whole lives that means two twin brothers consciously developed romantic feelings for eachother by your logic, which is even worse than them just being reincarnations.

Possession is a term more accurate for Edo Tensei or Karma, not reincarnation.

So what am I getting at here? Reincarnation in Naruto doesnt mean being considered the same person as the deceased, it just means you have their soul, it DOES NOT MEAN Naruto is Ashura, he still has his own identity, but part of that identity is influenced by Ashura.

Hagoromo actually refers to it in several ways but they all essentially have the same meaning.

‘Ashura’s chakra is clinging about you’ 

‘Ashura’s presence inside you’ 

‘Ashura has reincarnated as you’ 

‘Ashura has reincarnated inside you’.

All different phrases, but carry the same meaning, Ashura’s soul reincarnated inside of Naruto, and Indra’s soul reincarnated inside Sasuke.

Your putting too much emphasis on the wording rather than the meaning.

 Ashura clearly influenced Naruto in many ways despite them being separate people, by having the same soul its only natural that Naruto would inherit many of Ashura’s traits. Hagoromo himself points out how much like Ashura he is.

So their not really that different after all. Ashura’s soul still had alot of influence on Naruto’s beliefs, personality, and ideals as well as his strong bond with Sasuke. Naruto may have reached those conclusions in his own way through his own experiences but the result remained the same as Ashura’s due to his influence from inside him.

However although their not the same person physically, I think its important to note they are the same person spiritually. They still have their own unique chakra signatures that can be distinguished by certain ocular jutsu’s, but they are still overall the same spiritually with the same soul and chakra.

Naruto Uzumaki became the next inheritor of Asura's chakra and will, with Sasuke Uchiha inheriting Indra's chakra and will.

Again this is from the wiki, but it still accurately depicts what happened. They are different people, but they still inherited Indra and Ashura’s will from having their souls inside them.

Dont misunderstand, Naruto and Sasuke still have their own wills too and not all of their decisions and feelings extend from Indra and Ashura, Im just saying that they had an INFLUENCE on them in several aspects of their lives, but they still formed their own bonds and relationships through their own life experiences. Zetsu even comments on how Naruto and Sasuke are cooperating closely together more than any other reincarnate before them, proving they are still their own person capable of doing things their own way.

The fact that Naruto was able to succeed where Hashirama and Ashura failed is also proof of their individuality, but that was also predestined to happen.

Ultimately, Naruto managed to succeed in Asura's final goal which all other reincarnations failed at: end the rift between the two lines of the reincarnated brothers. Naruto achieved this after defeating Sasuke, who then finally accepted Naruto's ideals.

Everything I said for Naruto applies to Sasuke so I dont really need to reiterate it.

Onto the next point.

My point is that Indra and Ashura clung to people of their bloodline that was a lot like them, in terms of personality or ambitions, and thereby were reincarnated… So Naruto and Sasuke aren’t brothers and instead are just possessed by brothers..

This is impossible, because Indra and Ashura didnt possess Naruto and Sasuke like I said, but reincarnated inside them not long after they were born once both previous reincarnates were dead, meaning Indra and Ashura had NO idea what Naruto and Sasuke’s personalities or ambitions would be later in life. Their not psychic, they cant see the future so this argument is invalid. 

They simply reincarnated inside Naruto and Sasuke because they were newborns and Hashirama was already dead, so all that was needed was for Madara to die which didnt happen till years later when Naruto and Sasuke were born. Once Sasuke was born Indra reincarnated into him, and when Naruto was born Ashura reincarnated into him. Naruto and Sasuke just happened to be born at the right time, there was nothing more to it than that.

So now that we’re done with the reincarnation counter argument, now for why NaruSasu is problematic because of it and yes, they are in fact brothers.

For starters going off what I said about reincarnation alone already makes things problematic, infact it is the MAIN reason its problematic. Just because Naruto and Sasuke arent literally Indra and Ashura doesnt change the fact that they have their SOULS, meaning they are literally SOUL brothers, do you really not see the problem with two guys who were TWIN brothers in their past lives to be romantically involved? come on now.

Here he says that he and Sasuke aren’t true brothers, which means that they’re not actually related despite being reincarnated from brothers.. Which again, to my knowledge, if you’re reincarnated from brothers you’d still be brothers… But he says that they’re not…

This is flawed on so many levels, as I’ve already explained how reincarnation works in both Naruto and Japanese beliefs they are SOUL brothers. If your soul was reincarnated into a new body, and your brother or sisters soul was reincarnated into another body, would you want your reincarnates in a romantic relationship with eachother? I know I wouldnt, because as shown in Naruto Indra and Ashura are still very much conscious inside them, which means they are AWARE of whats happening, they just dont have control over them.

Even if they WERENT conscious its irrelevant, because the core issue is that they are THERE and they are BROTHERS, this is not incest in a physical sense, but in a spiritual sense this is very much an incetuous ship as they share both body and soul, that is still VERY problematic because they are STILL brothers, not by blood, but by soul.

While Naruto does say that he sees Sasuke as a brother several times, it doesn’t seem like that at all… To me it seems more like a crush that he doesn’t realize he has, or a crush he isn’t ready to believe he has…

Thats all speculation and how you choose to perceive things, but there is beyond enough evidence that proves it wrong which I’ll go more in depth in another post I’ll link back to here. But honestly theres not only tons of evidence that proves it wrong, theres literally nothing anywhere in canon that suggests romantic feelings between them in the first place. Thats a fact not an opinion.

Want my more condensed version of why NaruSasu are brothers refer to my twitter thread here

But just to add one of my points here, which is the other biggest reason NaruSasu is problematic, is that they are ACTUAL brothers.

I know right? I just said their not Indra and Ashura and are their own person how are they brothers? simple, thats true only for the show, however theres one other key factor that makes any argument you try to pull from the show for WHY their not brothers null and void. Which is that they are brothers by DESIGN.

Unfortunately the link is no longer available but this persons summary is pretty much what Kishimoto said. And the one above it is an actual sceenshot from when the site was still up.

From the beginning they were modeled after two real life brothers, Kishimoto and his twin brother Seishi, that was always the INTENT when making Naruto and Sasuke’s bond, so regardless of if their brothers by blood, by soul, or by bond, they are brothers by design, theres not a single argument you can come up with that’ll change that.

So in conclusion, yes, Sasuke and Naruto are real brothers by design, so for some people to call it incest is not far from the truth, because to ship Naruto and Sasuke your essentially shipping Kishimoto and his Twin brother.

I didnt wanna make this too long, so I focused on just the reincarnation aspect as that was the main point of the argument, and saved the other stuff about their relationship for another post so there wouldnt have to be a ton of scrolling on one post. But honestly? I think this post sums it up pretty well on WHY shipping this is problematic, you dont HAVE to stop shipping it if you dont want to, Im just pointing out why saying they are not brothers is factually incorrect.

[houseki-no-suffering]

honestly in pad's perspective, them being in a coma didnt make rutile happy and them being healthy still didnt make rutile happy so it's like fuck you. try fixing me then, here's a piece of something that fixed me, see if you can replicate it if youre so stubborn about it. meanwhile, im gonna pay back the gem that actually helped me by giving myself to them cause you clearly only care about being able to fix me and not my recovering itself

after trying to answer this concisely, I found out that i had a lot of thoughts.

So have a meta about Padparadscha’s wish for death, Rutile’s insecurities and why Padpa came back to Rutile.

to latch onto your ask, the only time padpa speaks about making rutile happy is when we first see them. 

they just woke up from a centuries long sleep and rather than spend time with rutile, they go for a walk with phos, the ‘youngest little squirt’ who always tagged along sensei. the little jewel Padpa probably didnt have that close a relationship with, compared to other gems they have known for a longer time.

during this conversation, we quickly realize how similar these two characters are. Both of them need constant replacements: phos breaks all the time and the seventh treasure theory pushes them (unbeknownst to them) to lose and acquire new parts of their body. This is similar to padpa’s condition, with the difference that padpa’s has a much harder time accepting new pieces.

it’s ironic. phos could live the same life padpa does if their body wasnt so accepting of replacements (and we get a glimpse of it when they acquire lapis’ head and during the 220 years time skip). Padpa could live the same life as phos as well if their body wasnt as picky. Add pain, loss, the weight of a meaningless but timeless existence, of war, of crushing self-hate and helplessness. 

You can see that padpa and phos are aware of the similarities they share. So padpa moves it one step forward.

Padparadscha says they want rutile to give up on assembling them because they dont want to be a burden. For this we can assume two things:

1) like most of the old gems (and some of the young ones too), padpa has lost any interest in living. 

they arent alive for their own sake or because there is something they want to do or prove or see. Even after they go to the moon, they say they will sacrifice their whole being in seeing that phos’ mission is successful. They want to help phos and maybe they have new faith in change thanks to phos’ revolution but, ultimately, they still end up sacrificing themselves. 

Padpa never stopped considering their life like a chip they could bargain, they never stopped thinking about death.

2) Padpa doesn’t hate Rutile and they are living for Rutile’s sake out of kindness and resignation. perfectly aware of Rutile’s obsession with fixing them. 

To be “discreet and composed” is possibly the most recurring advice in HnK: be prudent, think before you act, have patience, wait, consider everyone else’s feelings, dont rush. Ultimately, this is just a cute wrapping for what these pieces of advice really mean: let it all go. 

Padpa let it go when they decided not to confront Rutile and they always stayed true to their resolution. They’re fond of Phos and fascinated by Phos’ ability not to let go, the one that made them an outcast, but even while helping them Padpa is still nonchalantly  putting their life on the line.

Padpa let it go. They dont speak with Rutile during the night raid. they dont think that communication will solve their problems. And the same is happening now.

Padpa’s face when they salute Rutile and give them a piece of their gem is like that of a mother who sees their lost child. If the child just doesnt understand, what good is to speak about things? 

They’re resigned, there’s tenderness in padpa’s eyes. It’s like they’re telling Rutile: “here, i’m back, sorry for the trouble. i did the thing i was meant to do. I’ll give you this piece so you can say you fixed me, like back then. It will be like old days: I’ll live for your sake again.”

This is directly connected to Yellow’s line in chapter 70, the one that sums up Rutile and Padpa’s relationship perfectly: “Padparadscha woke up! Isn’t that what you wanted?”

It isn’t. 

What Rutile wanted was to have absolute authority over their craft. If anyone can fix padpa, what’s Rutile’s skills good for? If they are disposable in a society where your worth and your value depend on how essential you are for the survival of the species, what good is Rutile?

It is ironic and profoundly sad and it shows you just how messed up the lustrous society is. 

I can think of few gems who are as un-disposable as Rutile. Euclase maybe, because they have a good grasp of the defects of their society and made themselves irreplaceable, Sensei, Bort… But Rutile is the only doctor, an excellent doctor. They truly are useful and their craft is praised and acknowledged as indispensable. And yet they too are disposable, because anyone can do their job if they train hard enough. Sensei can do their job better than Rutile.

So Rutile decided to embark on an impossible mission. They would fix Padpa. If they could succeed where everyone else had failed, where sensei had failed, they would be irreplaceable. They would be unique, needed, useful, worthy. 

Rutile is the umpteenth victim of the system. 

They didn’t tie their destiny and their self worth to a lost cause because they’re a psychopath. They’re just profoundly insecure, because insecurity is the only ground upon which a society and a community that refuses to mature emotionally and that teaches apathy can be built. 

This is not to say that Rutile doesnt care at all about Padpa. Rutile is probably unaware of the true meaning of their actions, but if you read between the lines you get a glimpse of the truth. For Rutile, it didnt really count whether Padparadscha woke up or not, what counted was that no one else but Rutile had a chance to wake them up. As long as the gems agreed that Rutile was the most suited for this task and could progress further than anyone else could, it was enough.  

This is where Phos was wrong. Taking padparadscha away didnt make things easier for Rutile, it took away from them their very mission, their self-worth, their guarantee that they were important and needed and worthy of existing in the lustrous society. 

This is why Rutile isnt devastated when Padpa falls unconscious after talking with Phos. This is why rutile tries to take Padpa’s replacements away during the night raid, this is why the say that they want to make Padpa worth something again “by my own hand” in chapter 62. 

This is why Padpa comes back to Rutile.

The problem is not whether Padpa can make Rutile happy or whether Padpa wants to upset Rutile and show them that Phos is the one that helped them in the end. Because yeah, Phos did, but Padpa wasnt looking for help. This is the umpteenth problem Phos couldnt fix: Padpa had let go.

Padparadscha is a keen observer. They are smart. They have been living for Rutile’s sake for hundreds of years, perfectly aware that they were not a person but a project, a puzzle that cannot be solved. By fixing padparadscha, Phos and the moon people have thrown away Rutile’s reason d’etre, they have stepped on their self-worth and destroyed their sense of security and confidence in their skills. They have taken away Rutile’s place in the world. Rutile cannot forgive them.  

Padpa knows, and that’s why, I believe, they never stopped thinking that they had to come back to Rutile. They have let it all go, with cold, simple rationality. They did what they could to help Phos, now they come back home. It doesnt matter if Rutile will decide to cure Padparadscha or not now, what counts is that, with that piece in their hands, Padpa has given back to Rutile power of life and death over them, purpose, meaning.

“Here,” they tell a mad Rutile, tossing their heart into the air for them to catch, “I’m yours to fix as you please.”