#now me its my whole career! so IM not going to shy away because im already putting the work in!! but people who work as like. accountants o

[doctorwhoisadhd]

see on one hand i COULD totally make trock but the only thing is. im worried about like. would anybody actually listen to it. like thats the difference w/ blaseball, the fan music scene was so excellent and popular that like i knew that if i made stuff and shared it people WOULD 100% listen and have nice things to say. and in general making and sharing ur music does NOT feel that way outside of communities that are really FOR that... and like its one thing to write my own songs for me bc thats not so much a choice as it is a requirement for my mental health in a very human "desire to create art" way. so in this regard its entirely another thing to write fan music... thats me contributing to a space, as opposed to my own "for me" songs that are just my way of processing my own emotions.

[blkkizzat]

hi im shy so i haven't interacted b4 but i luv your fics! i like that you write stories & just don't post smau or twt porn links.

Hey nonny! TY for liking my work, its appreciated!! I do encourage you to interact though, even if its just a comment or continued anon msgs cause they do encourage me to write. I also really like receiving them <33 so I hope you or anyone else feels comfy to interact with me. *i dont bite i promiseeeee*

However, I honestly don't think theres anything wrong with smaus or twt porn links.

I incorporated smaus into my fics before. I adore writing or reading a good crack fic/post so I definitely think they have their place too and they are funny! I just personally struggle when it comes to writing shorter content so not something in my wheelhouse to do. (lol anything i write under 1k words i automatically think is dogshit. lol someone teach me to write short stuff i beg.)

Also I be EATING UP those twt porn links!! I don't post any of my own as my twitter is a stan account and I don't follow/like/retwt porn on there cause I don't want to mess up my algorithm. But I do be bookmarking them HEAVY! They are good reference material for my smut fics tbh.

Also I try to stay out of the mess/discourse cause I feel like people should be able to enjoy what they like without writing lame dissertations in defense/debating about it. But since we are on the topic already I'll add I haven't really understood the hate for them in particular, especially those saying people who like/post them have porn addictions because what!? Like we are not all on here to write/read smut?? pot---meet--->kettle. Anyway I guess I can understand the frustration some have when they assume they are stealing attention away from fics, but idk tumblr is huge and there is a place/audience for everyone is my belief. I've seen many long 6k+ fics breaking 20k+ so I think theres interest in long fics as well (one of my 7k+ fic has 18k+ notes). But I work in marketing, am getting my MBA right now and have worked in the middle of business and creative my entire career (at one point i worked for Twitch directly with streamers/influencers) so I can say when it comes to anything content/creative driven its honestly it's less about the quality of the individual work and more about regularly finding, interacting and catering to your audience if you really care about notes that much . I think its far more important though to do it for fun. Especially since we are not getting paid and doing this for free-99! So much creativity gets stifled when its too much about the business/results/notes side and you are working to please others/for clout. Thats a whole ass job in itself lmfao! I used to write on ff.net back in the day (years ago omfg) and stressed myself out so much from all the reviews/requests that I ended up abandoning it and was scared to write fanfics for years because of the anxiety of 'letting ppl down' until I got back into it last fall and decided to stop giving a fuck LOL.

Ahhh but I could ramble on about that for hours so let me stop I'm doing what I said I didn't want to do cause this is def now a mini dissertation from me going down the rabbit hole on this LMFAO! (im long-winded af lol)

But ty for the ask nonny I hope you come back soon <3

[plant-flwrs]

Hiii, i love your writing. I was wondering if you could do a remus lupin imagine. Were its mutual pinnin but they dont know the other like them. And sirus gets tired of it and takes pollyjuice to look like remus and get you to confess🥺

under the mistletoe // remus lupin

masterlist!

a/n: oh my god i’ve been non-stop reading atyd and it is my new obsession. it’s completely canon to me now. ty for ur request! i used they/them pronouns because you didn’t specify, so i hope that’s alright <3 oh! also! im gonna try this new thing w my fics to see if they flow better that way; instead of just jumping in time i’ll put a little indicator (-). wanted to try it out, dunno if i’ll keep using it. i’m so excited for christmas and this put me in an even more christmasy mood omg

summary: Staying at Hogwarts for the holidays seemed like the best way to avoid distractions, but with the Marauders there, distractions were guaranteed. Especially when your crush on Remus proves to be incredibly distracting.

cw: underage drinking (hangover vomiting), swearing (harmless, classic Sirius things)

(8k) (haven’t written this much in so long wow i forgot i could)

----------

The Gryffindor common room was your most favorite place in Hogwarts. It was warm and comforting, and you had some of your best memories there. With just a glance around the room you could feel your entire school career in just one room. 

Though, now that you were in your sixth year, it wasn’t the leisurely place it used to be. 

All around you, books touched any bare surface there was. N.E.W.T.’s were sooner than you’d like, sooner than anyone liked, and you were filled with anxiety. You knew your strenuous studying was a bit soon, but you felt like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders.

You felt so stressed, in fact, that not even Lily Evans could convince you to go home for the holidays that Christmas. 

“Exams are months away, Y/n!” she sighed as you fell down onto the couch beside her, narrowly returning before curfew from the library, “You ought to enjoy Christmas.”

“I will enjoy it. Here,” you said, rolling your head back and closing your eyes.

You felt sore, as if you had run a marathon, but you had been locked away in the library all day. 

Part of you, the smallest part, blamed Remus Lupin for this newfound obsession. Your fellow Gryffindor, the most studious boy in your year, was the initial reason for your new studying habits. You had started going to the library in an attempt to steal glances at him, an innocent crush that you most definitely let overcome you.

Remus had always gone to the library, you knew that, but ever since your O.W.L.’s he seemed to take extra pride in his work. You couldn’t blame him for secluding himself in the library, for that was the only place on campus that it seemed his rowdy friends did not go. 

“You can’t enjoy Christmas alone,” Lily tutted, pulling the massive textbook off your lap and putting it on the table in front of you.

“You’re staying for the holidays, too?” 

Sirius had just bounded down the stairs from the boys dormitories, his usual mischievous smirk on his face. 

“Yes, they are,” Lily answered for you, turning to look at Sirius as he hovered behind you near the stairs.

“Well, that’s lucky,” he said, acting as if he had a secret he took pride in no one else knowing.

“Why is that, Sirius?” Lily sighed, becoming annoyed.

“Remus, James, Peter, and I are staying, too,” he said, smirk turning into a boyish smile.

“You are?” you opened your eyes and turned to face him, finally.

He met your gaze and nodded excitedly, seeming to already have the Christmas spirit in him.

“So you won’t be alone!” Lily said excitedly, then turned towards Sirius with a more dull tone, “Not the best company, but at least not alone.”

Sirius scoffed in mock offence, scrunching his face up with imaginary tears as he stomped back up the stairs. 

“God, that lot is so bizarre,” she groaned, turning back to you on the couch to see you dozing off.

(-)

Snow fell on the grounds of Hogwarts, and you gazed at it from a fogged up window in the library. 

Lily had gone, Mary had gone, Marlene had gone, just about everyone had gone. You had never stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays before, and you knew not many people did, but you expected more than there were. 

No Slytherins had stayed, which was a welcomed absence from those who did. You knew the two Hufflepuffs that remained, but only because you had classes with them in your fourth year. The Ravenclaws that stayed, there couldn’t have been more than five of them, were often holed up the in the library with you. There were the most Gryffindors, five, including you and the marauders. 

You were almost surprised that James had gone through with staying; Remus had mentioned wonderful things about the Potters and the Christmases they hosted. Still, he was here, cheerful as ever.

As your eyes blurred with tiredness and the window became nearly too fogged to see through, you sighed in frustration.

You missed your family, you missed home, and you really regretted staying at school. You decided to give yourself the day off from studying. With a glance down at your watch, you saw it was nearly lunch time anyways. You had slept in and missed breakfast, coming straight to the library, and your stomach felt empty.

You made your way to the common room, wanting to drop off the heavy books you had accumulated. Mumbling the password to the portrait, you stumbled through without noticing the rowdy conversation coming towards you.

You ran right into James’ chest, stumbling back and already mumbling an apology.

“Y/n?” he asked happily, as if he had been looking for you.

“Hey, guys,” you sighed, forcing a polite smile when all you really wanted to do was collapse on the couch and sleep for days.

“Sirius told us you were staying, but I’d thought you’d changed your mind. Haven’t seen you since the holiday started!” James’s booming and joyful voice made you want to cringe away, but you couldn’t manage anything less than a small smile at his kindness.

 “I’ve been in the library,” you explained, chuckling at the horrified look on three of the four faces.

“You’re worse than I’d thought,” Sirius started, cut off by a sharp elbow to the ribcage by Remus, which only seemed to encourage him.

“We can’t have that,” James finished for him, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“Oi,” Remus started, casting a sympathetic smile at you as he tried to stop his friends from potentially insulting you.

“Why don’t you come have lunch with us?” Peter squeaked from behind James as he glanced at the two dark-headed boys for some sort of approval, “We were just on our way down.”

“What a great idea, Wormtail!” Sirius boomed, earning himself another elbow to the side from Remus.

You glanced nervously at the boys in front of you, trying to discern if they were setting you up for a joke or teasing you. 

“You don’t have to-” Remus blurted out, his cheeks pink, “-I mean, if you’re busy with your studies. I know how hard your working-”

“Nonsense, Moony!” James smiled, levitating your bag off your shoulder and easily landing it on the floor somewhere behind him, “they have to eat!”

You chuckled, ducking your head down as James slung his arm around your shoulder and escorted you back through the portrait hole. 

You felt lighter immediately. Whether it was the absence of your heavy bag, or the way the boys’ easy conversation and laughter felt so inviting and warm, you did not know. 

The self-pity you had been feeling only a moment ago seemed to go, too. James kept his brotherly arm around your shoulder all the way to the Great Hall, where he split his path and sat across from you. Sirius followed you down the isle, continuing his teasing conversation with Peter. James sat between Remus and Peter, his smile never faltering. He acted as if eating lunch with his mates and their tag-along was the best thing he had ever done. 

Remus was quiet, almost shy, but you knew that. You had known him your entire time at Hogwarts, and the crush you had on him seemed to last that whole time. You had seen him come out of his shell as the years went on, but he didn’t seem nearly as comfortable as when he was with his friends. 

You stifled your laughter with the back of your hand, blushing slightly at Sirius’s rude joke as he bumped his shoulder into yours. You looked down at your plate, pushing around the mashed potatoes that had grown cold.

“Sirius!” Peter yelped, his eyes wide in shock as he nervously glanced to you.

Sirius had made a crude joke, you knew that, but you hadn’t heard it. You and Remus had been meeting in short bursts of eye contact and the small action alone was making your spine shiver. 

You looked up from your potatoes, seeing the boys fading with laughter and delve back into their food. That was something you never understood about boys; they sat down, ate and ate until they were done, and then got to talking. You, Lily, Marlene, and Mary could talk for hours while you ate, but the boys seemed unable to do more than one thing at once.

The thought brought a fond smile to your face, and you felt something bump against your shin. Looking up from your plate, you met Remus’s eyes again. 

“What’s got you smiling?” he asked, his voice kind with a teasing nature behind it.

James looked up from his plate in the middle of shoving what had to be an entire chicken breast in his mouth, and began cooing at you as your cheeks flushed.

“’M just happy you lot stayed,” you blushed, refusing to meet Remus’s eyes, “would have been dreadful without your company.”

Sirius, without missing a beat, threw his arm around your shoulders and drew you into his chest. His large hand went to your head, ruffling up your hair. You cringed away, giggling and attempting to lay your hair smooth.

Everyone’s cheers in agreeance died down, and James roped Sirius into a heated discussion about Quidditch as Peter hung onto his every word. 

“‘M happy you stayed, too,” Remus mumbled from across the table, his head ducked down as a blush was creeping up the back of his neck.

You fought the urge to break the eye contact, giving him a smile so wide that your cheeks burned. 

You all returned to the common room with full stomachs and wide smiles, courtesy of James, who had just announced his newest plan at getting Lily’s attention. You just finished listing off all the reasons she would hate it, and he clambered through the portrait hole with a dazed smile that a lovesick puppy would have.

You trailed behind the boys, watching them all fall onto comfortable couches and armchairs. You looked at your limp backpack indignantly, choosing instead to follow them. 

You curled up in an armchair that was across a large couch occupied by James and Sirius and to the left of another armchair occupied by Peter. Peter leaned forwards to rest his elbows on his knees, setting up a new chess game for him and Remus to play. Remus sat on the ground, eyelevel with the board. He noticed you looking at him and gave you a kind smile that made you look away, blushing. 

The night was spent in leisure. You had barely wanted to get up for dinner, even Sirius suggested making Peter go down to the kitchens so they wouldn’t all have to go to the hall. In the end, you all went, having just as much of a good time as you did at lunch. 

You wished them a goodnight after you fell asleep watching Sirius and Remus levitating the most valuable things they could find in the room, sending Peter into anxious fits every time they pretended to loose their balance. You groggily walked up the stairs to the dormitories, leaving your homework downstairs with a satisfied sigh. 

For a few moments before you fell asleep again, Remus’s brilliant and bright smile was burned behind your eyes. 

(-)

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sirius groaned, throwing himself dramatically onto the couch with a huff.

“Shud up,” Remus groaned, falling into the armchair you had been sitting in. He could smell you on the chair, your scent floating into his nose like it was intoxicating.

“Really botched that one, mate,” James said with a chuckle, picking up a few of his Quidditch magazines off of the floor and putting them back on the coffee table, where Peter had accidentally knocked them off.

“Romance is confusing! How was I supposed to know?!” Remus groaned, lifting his head from his hands with a desperate look.

James gave him a knowing smirk, and Sirius groaned again.

“It was obvious! You always offer to walk a romantic interest home,” Sirius said, twirling his wand in his hand.

“They were just going upstairs,” Peter mumbled, seeming to agree with Remus.

“It’s alright, Moony,” James said, standing from the couch with a look of determination, “you’ve got all week to seduce them.”

“Shud up,” Remus groaned, repeating his request from earlier.

His eyes fell to the stairs you had climbed moments ago, remembering the peaceful look on your face as you slept, the adorable stretch you did once you woke up, the tired way you climbed the stairs, and that beautiful smile you gave them when you said goodnight.

Remus decided to stay in the common room for a bit longer once his friends had went upstairs, trying to force every second from the time you spent together that day into his memory permanently. 

(-)

You woke up feeling more rested than you had in weeks. The sun was barely in the sky when you opened the curtains, your unusually empty room flooded with orange light. You dressed quickly, donning muggle clothes that you found incredibly comfortable. 

You went down to the common room, seeing that the mess the boys had made last night was either cleaned by them or house elves. There was no sign of life in the Gryffindor tower, besides yourself, so you assumed the four were still soundly asleep upstairs. 

You found your backpack, overflowing with loose papers, and shrugged it onto your shoulders. You had decided to get some work done today, seeing as your day off the day before was not scheduled.

You ate a quick breakfast in the empty hall, finding it odd and strangely discomforting to be in such a large room by yourself. It felt as if you were out past curfew.

The library was the same case. Madam Pince was not even at her desk yet, and you settled into a table by the window. You opened it a sliver, enjoying the cold winter air that seeped into the room. The sunlight warmed you, and the wind was gentle enough to not rustle your papers. 

You dove into your work, feeling considerably better than yesterday, or the past month. Your muscles were loose, and the pressure you had been putting on yourself was no longer there. One night of fun proved to be harmless, and so did the marauders. 

You smiled at the thought of it, at the thought of your little day with Remus. He had been so kind to you, so funny and charming. You had never liked someone as much as you liked Remus. 

You found your gaze drifting out the window, looking past the castle and Hagrid’s hut and out into the Forbidden Forest. You couldn’t think of anything but the curly headed, dirty blonde boy. The way his eyes nervously darted to yours, his sheepish smile. The way he could easily make James, Sirius, and Peter fall into doubled-over laughter, almost as if good-naturedness came to him as easily as walking did. 

The sun rose in the sky, and it was almost time for lunch. Even with your mind distracted, you had gotten done more work than you had expected. You decided that if the boys asked you to have lunch with them again, you wouldn’t decline.

It was as if your thoughts were read, because just as you were organizing your papers to put them away, Remus walked into the library. You fumbled a bit, realizing you smudged some fresh ink on your newly written Potions notes. You didn’t care, though, smiling widely and waving Remus over.

“Alright?” he asked groggily, rubbing his eyes as if he had just woken up.

“Yeah, you?” you couldn’t help but stare at him. His voice was deep and thick with sleep, and he pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his slender hands. He had a muggle novel tucked under his arm, and he put it on the table as he sat down across from you.

“Eh,” he started, looking at you with slight amusement, “James woke up at the crack of dawn to go to the pitch, and he woke up Sirius when he did. Sirius is a git if he gets woken up before noon.”

“That’s not a surprising piece of information,” you chuckled, setting down your papers and getting comfortable in your seat again.

“Yeah, best to stay out of the dorm when Sirius is in a mood. Peter went to ask for some extension on a paper he forgot to do,” Remus smiled fondly at his friends flaws, opening his book and propping it on his knee, “so I figured I’d come find you.”

“You found me,” you opened your ink bottle and dipped your quill into it, going over your Potions notes and fixing the smudged ink.

You were a bit disappointed by Remus’s reasons for coming to see you. Part of you had hoped he missed you, or enjoyed your presence. But the truth was that you were his only other option for company. Your chest deflated slightly as you stole a glance at him only to find him deeply invested in his book. Many conversation starters bubbled in your throat but you couldn’t bring yourself to voice any of them.

It was about an hour of silence in the library before Remus suggested lunch. He helped you pack up your things, humming under his breath as he led the way out of the library. 

Lunch was soup, which you didn’t mind too much. Sirius was already at the table with James when you arrived. Remus sat next to you, across from his friends.

Sirius had his head propped up in his hand, lazily bringing soup to his mouth before dropping the spoon into the bowl with a clatter as his eyes fluttered shut. James rolled his eyes, shoving the bowl of soup away from him and wiping up the splattered mess from the table. 

James eagerly dove into a cheery conversation about his solo Quidditch practice, and Remus reluctantly listened. You felt as exhausted as Sirius looked, even though you had a wonderful nights sleep. You hadn’t felt so tired until your upsetting thoughts about Remus, but now you could barely keep your eyes open. You hadn’t been sitting for more than ten minutes, your soup was barely eaten, but you just wanted to curl up in your dorm.

Peter came into the hall, filing down the row where you had Remus were sitting. He was getting close, and you stood.

“Here, Peter, have my seat,” you said, slowly standing as James’ face contorted with confusion. You could see him working out pleas for you to stay, and your heart warmed a bit. 

“I’m gonna have a lay down,” you excused, not waiting for Sirius’s head to lift from his hand or for James to suggest all of you walking back together.

As you walked away, you heard Peter begin to chat about his essay extension. 

(-)

Remus knew he had done something wrong. He knew it. 

You had seemed happy to see him, you smiled at him, you were friendly, but at some point he said something to make you close off. He was looking forward to spending the morning in the library with you. He had made up the excuse of getting out of the dorm, knowing that with Pete and James gone and Sirius out cold, it would be fairly peaceful. Remus, however, wanted to see you. 

You looked heavenly dressed in casual muggle clothes with the morning sun lighting your face. He was happy to sit with you, but you didn’t seem happy to sit with him. 

He wondered if you were bothered by him and his friends. If yesterday hadn’t been as fun as he thought it was, and if you just wanted to be left alone. He felt a surge of annoyance with James for being so forward, but quickly drowned that out. It wasn’t James’s fault. 

Remus stared into his bowl of soup, not listening to Pete as he complained about the essay he had to write. 

James indulged Pete, listening to his complaints with sympathy as he dipped his bread into his soup. Sirius, however, could not be bothered. 

He had come to attention when you left the table, watching your hunched shoulders and nervous hands pushing your hair off your face. He had even caught your sad glance over you shoulder at Remus before you finally turned to go upstairs. Sirius was thinking, he was thinking hard. He could read you and Remus like an open book. He had known you liked Remus since you started showing up to the library whenever Remus did, no matter how subtle you thought you were being. 

Sirius looked at his friend, confusion knitted in his eyebrows as he hunched over his food. He gasped silently, catching James’s attention, as his eyes lit up with an idea. 

(-)

For the next couple of days, it was not hard to avoid your fellow housemates. James and Sirius seemed to be sneaking off as often as they could, clutching their cloaks close to them as if they had something underneath them. 

You avoided Remus, who presumably only had Pete to keep him company now, by staying in your dorm. The library wasn’t the only place you could study, and you spread your books all across Lily’s bed. You had begun to enjoy studying in your dorm, it was private and quiet, with no Madam Pince staring you down from her desk. 

It wasn’t that you disliked the marauders’ company, because you didn’t. You really liked hanging out with the boys. You had just wanted to prevent any more heartache when hanging out with Remus. You had obsessed over your last interaction in the library, convincing yourself it would be best to stay away from the boy as to not attach yourself any further. 

It was nearing the weekend, Christmas on the upcoming Saturday. You didn’t want to be in solitude on Christmas, but your pride prevented you from asking to hang out with the boys. You didn’t know what Sirius and James were up to, and you didn’t want to know. You didn’t feel like hanging out with Peter, because being in his presence alone made you just as anxious as he was. And Remus, Remus was an entirely different story. Just seeing Remus made your heart race unnervingly. 

On Thursday night, you crept down the dormitory stairs and into the common room. You stopped and waited to hear for Peter and Remus, but it seemed they were still in their room. You were going down for an early dinner, hoping to eat quickly before everyone else came down. 

You seemed to be successful, your plate was nearly cleared and there was no sign of anyone else. You were serving yourself pudding, your favorite pudding, when someone sat across from you.

You looked up. Your throat closed involuntarily, and your spoon froze on it’s way to your mouth. You straightened your back, eyes widening at the sight of him, and wiped your mouth nervously with your napkin.

“Hey, Remus,” you said, smiling politely at him as he began to dish himself food, “where are the rest of the boys?”

“Just me,” he said, his voice sounding a little higher than usual.

“Are you alright?” you watched him carefully as you noticed his posture was straighter than usual.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, looking at you now.

You looked at him, squinting your eyes. He seemed off, but you figured he could be nervous without his friends around.

“Okay,” you trailed off, returning to your pudding.

“Haven’t seen you much, recently,” he said confidently, the usual softness in his voice absent.

“I’ve just been up in my dorm,” you said, still gazing at him cautiously.

“Don’t want to spend time with Sirius, James, and I?”

You bit your lip, looking at him with a serious expression. Remus never excluded Peter when he was talking about his friends, but Sirius often did. You noted it, unsure what that could mean. Had Remus asked Sirius on advice at how to talk to you? The thought made you suppress nervous giggles. 

“No, it’s not that,” you felt your cheeks warm under his blatant stare, “you know how crazy I am about the N.E.W.T.’s.”

Remus chuckled under his breath, slowly eating his pudding. This was also weird, because Remus usually devoured any food in front of him as if he was a starving animal. 

“Remus, are you sure your alright?” you squinted at him, dropping your spoon and propping your chin up with your hand.

“Yes, I’m fine,” he said nonchalantly, squinting back at you.

He had remarkably less patience and ease than usual. 

“Okay, well, I’m done eating. I think I’ll go back to the tower now,” you stood slowly, watching his face contort with urgency.

“Wait!” he called, standing too, “wait, come sit for a second.”

You joined him again, clearly suspicious. You wondered if he was distracting you while the boys set up a prank.

“I need to ask you something,” he whispered seriously, leaning closer to you over the table.

“What?”

“Do you fancy me?” he smirked at you, mischief in his eyes. 

At first you wanted to shrink away, blush madly and sputter out lies to conceal your true feelings. But you didn’t. You kept his stare, a blank face looking into his daring one. You decided to make a guess.

“Sirius?” you said confidently, so it didn’t sound like a wild guess. You knew it was crazy. Surely, Sirius would never transfigure into his best friend to eat dinner alone with you and ask him about your feelings for him. Surely.

“How did you know!?” he asked, his voice now completely Sirius’s instead of his weird imitation of Remus’s voice. 

“What!?” you questioned back, surprised that you were right, “It’s actually you, Sirius?”

Sirius’s face, well, still Remus’s face, dropped with disappointment, upset that he gave himself away. 

“Yes,” he mumbled, moving his hand to tuck his hair behind his ear, only to remember Remus’s hair wasn’t that long.

“What are you playing at? How did you do this?” you motioned your hands at him, sounding more amazed than angry. 

“Polyjuice Potion,” he said mischievously, his eyes meeting yours at the tone of your voice.

“That’s really advance stuff, Sirius,” you said, slightly impressed as you leaned back and crossed your arms.

“I had some help,” he said sneakily, and suddenly what he and James had been sneaking off for made sense.

“Are you two planning something? Testing out the costume on me?” you said excitedly, hoping the boys would let you in on whatever prank they had planned.

“Well, about that,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “you sort of were the plan.”

You looked at him, confused. It felt weird to be talking so casually with Remus, and you fought the urge to blush every time he looked at you, knowing it was actually Sirius.

“I know you fancy Remus,” Sirius said, sounding a bit guilty.

This time, you could not resist shrinking away and blushing. You looked down at your lap, feeling incredibly embarrassed.

“But,” Sirius started again, his voice oddly comforting and kind, “I know Remus likes you, too.”

Your eyes shot up to meet Sirius’s, your face becoming somehow even more flushed.

“You were trying to get me to admit it to you? That I like him?” you asked him, heart racing.

“I just wanted you to confirm it,” he said, sounding even more guilty, “I didn’t want to try and set you two up if you didn’t like him back-”

“Set us up?!” you interrupted, eyes wide.

“Yeah,” he said casually.

“How do you plan on doing that, then?” You tried to sound annoyed in an attempt to hide just how excited you were.

Sirius had waved over James immediately, who has hiding behind a pillar in the courtyard looking in on you and Sirius. The two began talking almost as animatedly as two schoolgirls stricken with an exciting prospect of romance. 

You watched, lazily propping your chin on your hand as they rambled on about the ways they thought you should confront Remus.

James had been quite keen on them influencing Remus to confront you, and Sirius reckoned you ought to “grow a pair” and kiss him yourself. James was nearly affronted by the idea, insisting on a classic and romantic gesture from Remus’s behalf. 

Either way, you couldn’t fight an embarrassed blush that seemed permanently glued onto your cheeks. You swallowed heavily at any mention of kissing, which was being discussed at length. You had half a mind to stop the hopeful ramblings, but James and Sirius were Remus’s best friends, they had to be somewhat right about his feelings for you.

The conversation got remarkably easier, too, once the potion had warn off and it was Sirius in front of you instead of a fake Remus.

You looked into the courtyard, enjoying the cold air lofting into the room through the open doors, when you noticed Remus and Peter entering the room. The cold air had been helping in cooling your cheeks, but at the sight of Remus’s wide and carefree smile, they warmed immediately. 

“Shut up!” you mumbled harshly to the still ranting dark-haired boys in front of you, kicking them each in the shin for good measure. 

They looked offended, but Sirius caught your eye and smirked once he realized why they were silenced.

“Have you guys eaten already?” Peter asked, sounding disappointed as he sat next to you and saw your empty bowl of pudding. 

“Just had an early lunch,” James said merrily, moving to scoop himself another bowl of pudding after he had eaten an entire lunch while he and Sirius were talking, “but we’ll stay while you guys eat.”

You swallowed hard, looking at James with wide eyes as he quirked an eyebrow at you. You were planning on leaving the second Remus sat between James and Sirius, right across from you, but now you couldn’t be so obvious. 

“Haven’t seen you in a while, Y/n,” Peter mumbled from beside you, stuffing his face with a large heaping of peas.

You looked to Remus almost automatically, only to see him looking questioningly at you. You couldn’t resist the small smile that flirted on your lips as he averted your gaze quickly.

“I can’t get much work done with you lot around,” you teased, clearing the table in front of you and resting your elbows there, “I’ve been in my dorm, most days.”

“What about for Christmas?” Peter pried curiously, “Will you leave your dorm for Christmas?”

“Of course they will!” James boomed from across the table, causing a few tired looking Ravenclaws who were just coming in to glare at him apprehensively, “Starting Christmas Eve, they won’t be able to get rid of us.”

“Oh,” you looked to him, eyebrows raised in entertainment, “I won’t?”

Remus looked between you and James with an excited smile.

“Of course not,” Sirius said for James, picking a carrot off of Peter’s plate from across the table.

“For a limited time,” James said mysteriously, “you will have the honor of becoming a temporary Marauder.”

“They what?” Peter said from his goblet of pumpkin juice, causing some to splash back in his face.

“Peter!” Sirius groaned, annoyed with the boy, “Get in the holiday spirit!”

“Don’t worry Pete, just for a limited time. The holidays are a season of extending great charity to others,” James said, talking with humor in his tone.

“Charity?” you repeated, an amused smile on your face.

“We don’t let in just anyone,” Remus said, looking only at you.

When your eyes met his, you felt all the air leave your lungs. Your jaw clenched in an attempt to gather some sort of consciousness, but all you could do was look back at Remus. 

“That’s true, ‘tis a great honor,” Sirius had raised his goblet in some sort of toast, and you had barely noticed until Remus was raising his glass.

You broke the contact, finally, and sputtered for a moment before you could find your goblet on the table. You rose it, hoping to lower it quickly as you noticed a slight tremble in your hand. Remus connected his goblet with yours gently, looking at you again while you were intent on avoiding his eyes. He had some sort of knowing smile on his face, and you felt very exposed to him. It felt like he was reaching in your chest and squeezing your heart for his own pleasure, and it scared you to know you could not tell him to stop. 

(-)

Christmas Eve was very celebrated amongst the boys. 

So celebrated, in fact, that Sirius insisted Christmas morning was a day for hangovers. 

He had brought out the firewhisky fairly early into the afternoon. James had looked at him with nervousness, but nonetheless took a heaping sip when offered a glass. You sipped casually, not feeling all too comfortable with the chaos that seemed to lurk in Sirius’s eyes. 

By the time the sun was beneath the horizon, Sirius and James were dancing some sort of Irish jig on a table, and Peter was very angrily talking to himself in a mirror. You and Remus, neither of you having very much to drink, sat comfortably on a couch, watching the night unfold.

“Why aren’t you drinking with them?” you asked Remus, glancing at his full cup and tensed shoulders.

He glanced down at you, nervously biting his lip and running a hand through his hair. Oh, how you wanted to touch his hair. 

“I don’t really feel like being hungover on Christmas,” he said, noticing your full cup as well, “what about you?”

“I don’t think Lily would ever forgive me if she found out I got drunk with you lot on Christmas Eve,” you teased, smiling to yourself at the fond thought of your friend.

“I miss Lily,” Remus remarked simply, bringing his cup to his lips and taking a large gulp.

“Me too,” you sighed, doing the same and hoping it would ease your nerves, “she wrote to me yesterday. She’s having a lovely Christmas. Her sister is being awful, but that’s per usual.”

You and Remus shared a knowing smile, both thinking of the complaints you had heard from Lily about her sister. 

“Have you written back yet?”

“No, not yet. I was going to wait until after Christmas,” you were waiting to write Lily back so you could thank her first for the undoubtedly wonderful present she got you. You didn’t know how, but Lily Evans always gave the most thoughtful presents. 

“When you do, tell her we miss her,” Remus said softly, his cheeks beginning to flush pink as he watched with a smile his friends dancing. 

You nodded, ducking your head to hide a smile.

“Oi!” James yelled, stopping his dance suddenly. 

You and Remus froze as he looked at the pair of you, each wearing an entertained smile. James hopped off the table with ease, as if he was not drunk out of his mind and as if the table wasn’t a good four feet off the ground.

“Come dance,” James said once he finally reached the both of you, though, only offering you his hand.

He waved his wand at a muggle radio they had in the corner, and the volume increased. Sirius smiled widely, refreshing his drink with the dwindling amount of firewhisky left. You cautiously took James’s hand, letting him spin you as you giggled.

James caught Remus’s eye, the blonde boy watching you with adoration. James pulled you close, resting one hand on your shoulder as the other held your hand, and leaned in close to your ear.

“Moony is watching you,” he slurred, sounding excited, “I reckon he’ll make a move tonight if Sirius doesn’t finish all the liquor for himself!”

James pulled away, giggling once again like a schoolgirl. You could not help his infectious laughter, your forehead falling onto his shoulder as you laughed loudly. As if on que, Remus stood and walked with determination to Sirius. He took Sirius’s goblet and downed it, smiling widely and accomplishedly afterwards. He climbed on the table with Sirius, who had long forgotten about his stolen alcohol, and began awkwardly moving his lanky body in a way that could be called dancing in the most generous of terms. This made you laugh even more, and James had to nearly fully support your weight as your knees buckled with your hard laughter.

It was shaping up to be a lovely Christmas Eve.

(-)

Christmas, as Sirius had predicted, was a morning for hangovers. You had barely glanced at your mounds of presents at the foot of your bed, instead throwing on your warmest sweater and going immediately to breakfast.

It had been decorated, as it had all week, with great care. Today, however, the tree had been alit with wonderful and delicate decorations, sparkling under the enchanted ceiling. The entire room somehow smelled of pine, and the warm feeling of a fireplace shot down your spine when you sat down.

You cradled a cup of tea, hunching over and fighting the urge to fall back asleep at the table. You couldn’t bear to look at food yet, regretting the glasses you drank once Sirius had found that second bottle of firewhisky. 

There was no sign of life in the castle, besides the lovely decorations, and you found yourself grateful. 

It was as if, however, that you cursed yourself the second you thought this.

“Merry Christmas, Y/n!” James shouted from the entry way of the castle, his loud voice assaulting your ears even from such a distance. Beside him, Peter, Sirius, and Remus cringed away in pain, shrinking down and walking past him into the hall.

“Bloody. Fucking. Hell,” Sirius groaned once he sat down next to you, his head hitting the table as soon as he was still.

Remus sat on the other side of you, going at once for heaping servings of the hot food. You swallowed the vomit in your throat at the sight of so much food, forcing your eyes deep into your tea. James happily sat down next to Peter on the other side of the table, patting his friend merrily on the back. Peter winced audibly, a pained look on his face.

“How are you not hungover?” you whispered once you were sure you would not vomit.

“He never gets hungover,” Remus groaned from beside you, his mouth full of beans.

“Never?” you repeated, wincing as you reached for more tea.

“Never!” James said happily, obviously enjoying his wonderful, wonderful gift.

“Oi!” Sirius groaned, his head still buried in his arms.

James smiled.

“Eating helps, really,” Remus said from beside you, glancing an earnest look at you as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Mmmmm,” you groaned in response, ducking your head down as Sirius was doing to avoid vomiting.

“What a lovely Christmas this will be!” James said, earning a unanimous groan in response.

(-)

Getting back to the tower was a slow and painful process that included many bathroom breaks and headaches. You and Sirius had both ducked into the loo twice each to vomit, and James supposed it had something to do with climbing the stairs. Peter was limping for some reason, though you could not remember him hurting either of his legs the night before. Remus was nearly as recovered as James, just looking a bit tired.

After you were sure you had emptied your stomach of the tea you drank for breakfast, you were feeling a bit better. Your legs felt a little wobbly, and Remus must have noticed, because he offered his arm for you to steady yourself on as you walked along. Your mind was so foggy you almost had not noticed, but his strong arm beneath your fingers was enough to clear you up a little. You held him close to you, hoping the hangover was excuse enough. James gave you and encouraging smile, nodding enthusiastically. You were sure Sirius would be giving you a smirk if he wasn’t basically crawling down the halls. 

Once you reached the common room, Remus had not retracted his arm. In fact, he had interlocked his hand with yours, still with your arms looped, and led you over to a couch. He sat very close to you and still did not remove himself from your grasp even as you were sitting. You felt so comfortable and warm next to him, you could not help but close your eyes and let your head fall on his shoulder. 

(-)

James retreated upstairs with Peter. Peter had wanted a quick and undisturbed nap, and James returned downstairs a few moments later with his practice Quidditch robes on. Sirius had collapsed on an armchair the second he crawled into the room, and showed no indication of life as he fell into a deep sleep. James gave Remus an encouraging smile and two thumbs up, but did not dare to speak in case you weren’t asleep. Remus rolled his eyes, but was truly quite happy with the position he had found himself in.  

Your arms were looped, hands intertwined, and your head rested delicately on his shoulder. He leaned his head against yours, breathing in the smell of your shampoo. 

He had wanted to stay there forever.

(-)

When they all awoke, James was out of his Quidditch robes and in a thick wool sweater. He was polishing his broom with what looked like a new polishing set, perched on the armrest of a couch across from you and Remus. You had woken up when Sirius did, his loud yawns and stretches filling the room. When you lifted your head, you bumped into Remus’s head, and he woke up. Your cheek felt sore from pressing into his strong shoulder, and you looked down at you hands to see them still interlocked. You were sweaty and tired, but Remus looked down at you sleepily with complete happiness.

“Happy Christmas, you lazy bones,” James tutted like a mother would, putting down his broom and standing.

“Happy Christmas,” Remus said, smiling widely. 

You sat up, removing yourself from Remus. He untangled your arms, removing his hand from yours. You felt sad at the absence, looking down at your lonely hand. Remus was looking too, and when you met his eyes he bit his bottom lip. With some slight hesitation, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you in for a side hug. You lingered, and he made no move to pull away, so you stayed there, tucked under his arm.

“I never looked at my presents this morning,” Sirius said, standing from his chair and motioning for James to follow him.

“Neither did I,” you said to Remus only, hearing the other two retreating upstairs.

“Want me to walk you up to your dorm?” he offered, adjusting his body so he could see your face.

You uncurled from him, nodding excitedly.

You stood from the couch, walking over to the stairs. You waited for Remus, watching as he slowly stood and stretched. You leaned against the door frame, supporting yourself on your hands behind you. Remus came over to you, walking slowly with a sleepy and dazed look on his face.

“Happy Christmas,” he repeated, only to you this time.

“Happy Christmas,” you said, smiling at him as he leaned against the door frame opposite of you. 

It was a narrow space, and there were only a few inches between you two, but neither of you made any movement. You wanted to go upstairs and see what your family had sent, what Lily had given you, what all your friends had given you, but you couldn’t tear yourself from the handsome boy in front of you. 

Your eyes danced all over his face, admiring his curly and unkempt hair that fell into his dark and kind eyes, his sharp jaw that you wanted to run your fingers across, his soft lips.

You were both so entrance in each other, that neither of you had noticed the greenery sprouting from the door frame above you. It was mistletoe, sprouting from the wooden door frame between you and Remus. Remus noticed, his eyes darting up at it. He looked down at you, seeing you had not noticed it, and chuckled.

This seemed to snap you out of it, and you stood upright, coming closer to Remus. You looked up at the growing plant, eyes widening when you saw the red berry forming before your eyes.

“Mistletoe?” Remus chuckled, entertained as he reached up and brushed it delicately with his slender fingers.

“Is it?” you managed to say, watching his hand.

“It is,” he said, retracting his hand and bringing it to rest on your cheek.

He gently cupped your face, pulling you close to him until your chests met and neither of your backs were touching the door frame. You closed the distance, meeting his lips with urgency and desperation. You didn’t care if James thought Remus ought to kiss you, you wanted nothing more than to kiss Remus. And Remus wanted nothing more than to kiss you. His other hand came to your waist, pulling you flush against him as his hand on your cheek moved to the side of your neck. You reached up and slid your hands from his shoulders to this neck and into his hair, feeling the soft curls between your fingers as you had wanted to for so long.

Remus pulled you impossibly close to him, as if he wanted nothing to come between you, until his force was moving you to lean against the door frame. The feeling of the wood was unexpected, and you gasped into Remus’s mouth when you felt it. Remus took this as an invitation to deepen the kiss, and you allowed him, sighing softly as his tongue explored your mouth.  

“Mistletoe?!”

You and Remus broke apart, his hands still on you even though your bodies were no longer touching. You both looked up the stairs, seeing James, Sirius, and Peter looking down at you.

Sirius had the most mischievous smirk you had ever seen, sure that it would make Lily’s skin crawl if she saw it. James seemed so content that you’d think he’d just been kissed and Peter anxiously twirled his fingers as he averted your eyes, obviously feeling bad for interrupting. 

“Mistletoe,” Remus said, his voice husk and his lips wet. It took a lot of will power to not sigh at the sight of him, or pull him in by his collar and kiss him again. Instead, you looked up at the boys like a deer caught in headlights.

“You owe me ten galleons,” James said to Sirius, causing Sirius to groan.

“How do you know he kissed them?!” Sirius complained, digging in his robe pockets for the money.

“He didn’t, I kissed him,” you said, looking up at Remus and licking your lips nervously.

“Hah! Hand it over, James,” Sirius gloated, removing his hand from his pocket and holding it out to James.

James groaned, still a smile on his lips, and handed Sirius the money.

“You didn’t think I’d kiss them first?” Remus asked Sirius, pulling you into his chest in a loving and protective way.

“Sorry, mate,” Sirius said with no remorse in his voice, climbing down the stairs and pushing past you and Remus.

James and Peter followed him, all fiddling with some new gift they had gotten. You looked up at Remus, deciding your Christmas presents could wait until Boxing Day, and pulled him out of the door way. You fell onto the couch, Remus following you, and you fell easily into conversation with the boys. Remus wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his chest. 

[reyeslonestar]

Question what are some things you wanna see in season 3 of lone star? Character development, plots, anything

I want to see Tonya Kong write every episode. that's all. thanks for asking!

-

sadfkja I joke, I do have other ideas, but that is definitely high on my wish list! i'm gonna go through by character and talk about what I'd like to see for them, so this is gonna get quite long whoops...

the main thing that I'd like to see overall, though, would be evidence of an overarching season plan or arc - it doesnt necessarily have to be a plot that stretches through all the episodes or anything major, but I'd love them to have plotted out the season before they start. from watching this season and then reading interviews after the finale, they dont appear to plan many things from the start and end up throwing in ideas as they go along. if they plan it from the start they can foresee how theyre going to affect character development more, and they can have a bit more balance in the types of episodes they have, so that the season is less insane and more naturally ebb-and-flow with a few light episodes to break up the drama.

okay, onto the characters! just going to do this in billing order for simplicity's sake. customary reminder that these are just my own opinions and thoughts, and this is more of a wish list than a realistic expectation.

if you want to search for a specific character, ctrl F for one of these terms including the dash at the start:

-Owen

-Tommy

-TK

-Grace

-Judd

-Marjan

-Paul

-Carlos

-Mateo

-Nancy

press “j” to skip the whole post.

-Owen

okay so I'd love to see them actually develop his character. Owen has been given a lot of backstory with lots to play with development-wise, but to me it feels like the show never goes anywhere with it. he's got a lot going on what with 9/11, feeling responsible for the fates of his fellow firefighters, the codependence of his relationships etc. I'd like to see him go to therapy and see him grow some self awareness and seek to manage himself better, rather than all his screentime devoted to him being a hero when other characters have the situation handled. it would really show him as a good leader if he drew on the skills that his team has and refer to them for advice/ideas. realistically he is the main character, so I'd like them to develop him like one.

also, I kind of love the chief role for him? I think it would suit him really well. but it would drag him away from the 126 and split up the dynamics too much so it would make for bad tv and I wouldnt actually want to see that. good for his character though.

-Tommy

I love Tommy :) just wanted to say that.

so obviously Tommy's got a lot of grief to handle next season, and I don't want them to shy away from that. I want it acknowledged and processed. (I'd also like a little bit of seeing the twins' grief too, because they're also suffering a massive loss). maybe something with Judd helping Tommy learn to manage her grief with his own experience of losing the original 126, encourage her to go to therapy, plus Tommy, Grace and Judd all feeling the loss of Charles together. after all, Grace and Judd were his friends and they will be grieving too.

I'd also kind of like to see Tommy have something outside being a working mother. obviously we're going to need to deal with that a lot especially now that Charles is gone, but I feel like she's been assigned the Character TraitTM of being the working mum and I'd like to see them give her a hobby or something. idk. and give her a night off with Grace or something. give her something just for her.

-TK

okay so I think theres a fair likelihood that theyre going to return to looking at TK's addiction next season which im not averse to. I think him struggling with his sobriety would be worthwhile to see for his character and to show that its not a straightforward path, plus it makes sense with all the insane stuff they've thrown at them in s2. however, Id like to see it in the context of his friends and family rallying around to help and support him and show him that he's got people to rely on, and that he's allowed to rely on them, plus the support of his AA meetings and therapy. I also need them to lay the groundwork for him struggling, so putting in signs of him deteriorating so the situation makes sense. this storyline doesn't need surprises to be interesting or good, and frankly it shouldn't have any.

as for him and Carlos, I definitely want to see them househunting! I'd like to see the combination of househunting/Carlos with Tommy's kids/Grace and Judd having their baby have an impact on their perspectives regarding their future and spark that conversation (like, looking at houses with more rooms and thinking about kids, future, marriage etc). I think that maybe one of them, probably TK, or maybe both of them those boys have way too many parent issues having anxieties about being a dad could be an interesting way to add tension without being too drastic, and then that can be resolved in a way that reassures them of their relationship and reaffirms their strength as a couple. the talk about the future would also lay the groundwork towards a proposal at the end of s3.

-Grace

grace :) my love :)

I could watch episode after episode of Grace kicking ass and saving people over the phone. I'd love to see an episode set there? like, some kind of story within the call centre with all the handlers having to resolve that between them, but also tie in the first responders, so we see the fire team, the paramedics and Carlos all working but we only see the bits that Grace and the other call handlers hear, if that makes sense? also an actual Grace/Carlos team up where they are coming in from the different angles with different amounts of evidence and figuring out the best way to solve something together. plus I'd like to see her maybe get some recognition for being awesome at her job, maybe another handler coming to her for advice on how to solve something.

of course we've got the baby Ryder on the way, and I want that to go comfortably and smoothly for her. she deserves that. lots of wholesome excitement for her and Judd from the whole extended firefam, baby shower, gifts, the full works. pamper grace please.

-Judd

judd4captain2k22. please.

yeah I know its not gonna happen, but I loved judd stepping in as captain this season and I'd love to see that continued with him taking more leadership, and Owen deferring to him for advice/council in a work environment rather than personal life. maybe set up a long term idea about judd being a captain someday.

he's gonna be a dad :') so what are his anxieties about that? why were they putting it off before? was it related to his PTSD? he's got lots of people relying on him now, how does that make him feel? what if his kid loses him? id like to see him still using therapy as a tool to help himself deal with everything. lots of meaty questions to dig into there :D

-Marjan

I'd quite like to see more of her balancing her daredevil nature with the impact of that and realising how much danger she puts herself in sometimes. or on the flip side, maybe the team is dealing with a really dangerous situation and they utilise her fearlessness to save people. her relationship with social media could also come back? but bring in the development they gave her this season, and her Firefox presence is more serious, less flippant?

I think that theres now a space for her to explore her sexuality/romantic experience now that she hasn't got her engagement with Salim as a kind of failsafe. maybe she wants to put herself out there and date, but thats really daunting as shes never really had to do that before? personally I think this could tie in really well with a self discovery/exploration regarding her sexual orientation, but I doubt they’d go there with her, so thats just my headcanon.

-Paul

I want them to draw on Paul’s observational skills and perceptiveness more, especially on calls and in emergencies. I remember someone (sorry I cant remember who) pointed out that he would have been a great character to centre the arsonist plot around in terms of noticing the clues etc, so id love a storyline that revolves around him dealing with an emergency like that. I also really want a Carlos and Paul friendship so maybe them collaborating on a call to solve something, that’d be cool.

can we give Paul a girlfriend please. if im not complely insane, there was a reference to someone in like,, 2x04?? someone who put mayo in his sandwich? idk I havent checked (edit: it was aioli in his banh mi! thank you @meneatyoghurt), but if there is someone can we show him having a fun and loving relationship please. I dont need there to be any drama. just them having fun on a date or something.

-Carlos

so I know that some people are keen to see him in his police role more but I really don't need much of that. on calls with the 126 I'd like to see him be the officer in charge more, but I don't need police-exclusive storylines. I've talked about it here if you want to know why.

the only area that I'd like to see would be in the direction of reform/addressing the flaws of the system, and I think they can do that on a personal level for him, because he and Mitchell need a chat. if they'd gone with her decision in 2x08, he, Mitchell and the bank robber would all be dead, and I think thats gotta have some impact. also the fact that he was suspended for trying to preserve life. theres a lot they could work with there and maybe have him thinking about how he can do good and how he can effectively protect and serve. not to mention, the opportunity that would provide in terms of addressing his relationship with his dad and how he maybe sought approval by pursuing a police career?

also I’d like him to learn that he doesnt need to accept blame/preemptively put blame on himself and that he doesnt need to apologise when someone else hurt him. kind of want to send him to therapy. kind of want to send all the characters to therapy. but yeah, him learning that he can accept apologies and understand that he doesnt have to make people feel better for hurting him. hes allowed to be hurt and feel pained about it. and that can tie into his relationships with Mitchell, with TK and with his parents.

I think I mentioned most of the tarlos stuff in TK’s section, but I wouldn't mind at least one instance for them where we see it all from his perspective instead of TK’s.

finally ive mentioned above how i’d like a team up with Paul on a scene and both of them figuring it out together. I'd also like them having a friendship outside work, just the two of them, bonding over books and being relatively sane people compared to the rest of their friends.

-Mateo

Mateo is so sweet. I loved 2x14 and the recognition he got, more of that please! also theres still so much I want to know - one of the more consistent things they set up for him in s2 was his faith, so I want to know more about that. what's his relationship with religion and God? he's pretty isolated from his family so how does he feel about that? is his religion something that helps him feel connected to them? maybe the church helped him find a community when he first came to the states, before he got settled with the 126, and he finds reassurance in faith that God is looking after his family while he cant be there? I think maybe there's scope for a conversation between Marjan and Mateo about that, about that distance and caring for their families through faith and prayer.

also, if he's still with the horrible firehouse, I'd like to see the other firefighters being won round by his resilience and stepping up to look out for him, and someone backing him up against the captain. Mateo is used as the butt of the joke most of the time, but I'd also like to see a bit more acknowledgement of things like losing his house and the bullying hes going to get more of from this firehouse.

-Nancy

I think that her speech to Tommy in 2x14 was really telling, and I'd love to see them expand on that a bit more. first on the loss and fear of losing her friends and coworkers, but then also on her hopes and aspirations - she said she wants to be a paramedic captain so lets see her working to take her exams and qualifications, and showing initiative on scenes etc.

id like to see more of her being integrated into the 126 group. she and marjan turned up to the hangout together, so lets develop that relationship more. I would love it to be romantic but I'd also love to see that as a friendship. but also her forming bonds with others in the group as well as more of her and TK being a chaos duo. I love that they stole the ambulance, more of that insanity please!

-

I think thats it? if youre still reading, youre insane and I appreciate you a lot! honestly im open to all sorts of things in s3, this isnt a prediction or anything, its just stuff I think would be interesting based on where the characters are now. 

[words-for-holland]

Happier (3) | T.H.

Summary: Harrison is looking for answers. More unknown text messages and blackmail. A phone conversation takes place. Wait...who’s the new guy?

A/N: Don’t be shy let me know all your theories! Again, thank you for the support on Happier! The story continues!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Puzzle

This whole thing was just a giant puzzle that needed to be solved, but the closer one got to solving it, another complication comes around. The story wasn’t clear for anyone, but for Harrison it was a mess. He had so many questions that needed to be answered, so many clues he wish could have been solved at the snap of a finger.

Tom was too lost in himself to even comprehend the puzzling reality, Y/N while also lost in heartbreak had been awefully quiet since she left London, Kate was lying to Harrison, and Natalie had been too friendly with Tom.

Harrison replayed the conversation with Kate over and over again in his mind, trying to remember every little thing she said that night. He knew Kate was aware of something. Her tone said it all.

“Listen I dont know who you are, but if its the same person that sent my best friend a threatening message that she’s better off breaking up with her boyfriend”

“She received a few messages...from Tom.”

“Oh my god.” Harrison said to himself in realization. How could he have been so dim to not recognize what Kate had said in the first place? He paced around as he continued to think it through. But a threat message? Who would send a threat to Y/N? And what did they threaten her with? Tom and Y/N’s relationship has been secretly hidden from the public for as long as they’d been together. No one knew she even existed...right?

For a moment, Harrison stopped in his tracks, thinking of Natalie. Though he quickly shook the idea off. Natalie may have wanted Tom, but she wouldnt go as far as threatening Y/N. He had been friends with her since they went to primary school, and knew she wouldn’t go that far. “Maybe a stalker fan?” He questioned himself. Though he also quickly ruled it out, but something about it just didnt feel right.

In the kitchen, Harrison took out his laptop and started googling Y/N’s name. If her name didn’t show on the News or one of those Tom Holland fan accounts, it would at least answer one theory. As he scrolled through pages and pages, nothing showed up until...he found on account. He logged into the site and browsed the history, realizing it was all about Y/N and Toms life. Not as a couple but seperately. It all seemed too strange. Only very few accounts followed it and yet no other accounts in the world had mentioned Y/N. Harrison quickly shut his laptop when he saw Natalie enter the room.

“Oh don’t mind me just...grabbing a water.” She giggled, making her way to the fridge.

“Hey mate...uh..I guess everyone got hungry at the same time?” Harry asked, a bit surprised to see Harrison and Natalie in the kitchen.

“Yeah. I guess.” Harrison muttered.

“Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine. If i didn’t know I’d say you were the one more affected by the break up then Tom and Y/N themselves.” Natalie commented.

“No. It’s just that I dont think Y/N broke up with Tom just because of some rumors about you and him.” He explained rubbing his face from exhaustion. Natalie’s smile dropped, when she heard Harrison mention his potential theory.

“Well...did you talk to Y/N about it?” Harry asked him, also intrigued by the theory. “Now that I think about it she —“

“Oh come on. Just leave the poor girl alone. Im sure she knew what was best for the both of them. You’ll only make it worse.” Natalie interrupted, taking a sip from her water. “Well since you boys are all talk, Im gonna go find something more worth my while.”

Out of sight and out of mind, Natalie made a quick call about what she heard. “Harrison’s getting suspicious, and so is Harry.”

“Time to clean up then.” The unknown number spoke out before hanging up on Natalie completely.

Meanwhile, Kate had managed to get Y/N out of the apartment and walk the streets of the city. Her heart and spirits were still low, but she appreciated the efforts. Kate and Y/N went around stuffing their faces with crepes and ice cream. It was the cure to any bad days, but it wouldnt have been a Kate and Y/N date if they didn’t hang around the New York Aquarium. It was also the perfect time to crack out what Y/N really knew about the unknown text message, and who was harrassing the both of them. “Look, I know I promised you a stress free outing, but I saw a text from your phone the night you came back home.” Kate confessed.

Y/N’s face became pale almost as if she’d seen a ghost. She knew, and now there was no point in going back. “So you know then.” She says quietly looking at the fishes.

“I only know they threatened you.” Kate states, leaving out that she, herself, was also threatened. Y/N had enough on her plate to worry about, and it wouldn’t be the best time to being up how her message also threatened their friendship. “How long?” She continues.

“Weeks maybe. They started around the time I was fighting with Tom.” Y/N vents, she takes a deep breath before she continues. “Each message was worse than the last. They threatened that if I didnt leave, Tom would lose career, and I...I couldnt do that to him.” Tears were falling slowly, but Y/N was quick to pick them.

“Why didnt you tell him?”

“Yeah, Kate let me just tell him the truth of why I left him because the messages weren’t offensive nor threatening enough. And let’s just assume that the person texting wouldn’t blackmail either of us if they knew I said something. Anyways, maybe it was for the best...I could never fit in his world and those past few months just proved that.” Y/N’s words continue to spill out every fear and thought she had bottled up within her. It felt good..for a moment, but nothing can really erase a heartbreak of losing the one you loved.

As the pair walked through the shark tunnel, Y/N bumped into a tall figure. “Oh my god, Im so sorry...Matt?” she asked in confusion. The moment Y/N looked up into those familiar brown eyes hidden behind the thin glasses, she knew. How could she forget? 

“Y/N? Wow, it’s been so long how are you?” Matt greeted as he wrapped her into a hug. “Kate, it’s good to see you again too.” 

“Yeah, we’re great, just you know...navigating life.” Kate responded to him. “We haven’t seen you since what?  High school?”

Matt smiled and nodded at Kate’s response, his focus remaining on Y/N. He didn’t remember much with Kate back in high school, but Y/N was a different story. They were good friends at the time, always competing in classes, but as junior year rolled by things got awkward. Y/N was falling for Matt while he didn’t return the favor at the time. Though he’d be lying if he didn’t say he may have felt the same at one point, but just never committed. Now all grown up, he didn’t realize how pretty she turned out, but her personality wasn't there. He must have figured something was wrong. After all, a girl with that kind of spunk back in the day, didn't seem like the one to lose hers so easily. “Yeah, look. I know it’s kind of a spur in the moment, but maybe we can all hang out sometime? I’d love to catch up.” 

Kate was all for it, but Y/N felt a tension she wasn’t sure if she wanted to act upon. After all, breaking up with your boyfriend after 2 weeks, because of threatening messages and still loving him deeply, it wasn’t an easy thing to move on from. Then again it’s not like Matt was asking for a date, it was just to catch up after not seeing each other for 6 years. “Uh, maybe. I have to check my schedule, and see when Im free, but I can let you know” Y/N answers him. 

“Great, well..here’s my number, and hopefully I hear from you guys. I gotta get back to my brother, so hope to see you around.” he quickly says as he walks away. 

“Wow. Matt Brynne, who would have guessed?” Kate says, breaking the silence. 

“I know...Funny I used to be so head over heels with him at the time, and now I barely feel a thing.” 

“Well yeah, cause you still love...you-know-who.” she teases, though it probably wasn't the best time to be making that type of joke with everything going on.

“And I don't think I’ll ever stop.” Y/N mutters to herself. As Y/N and Kate make their way forward, Kate’s phone began to vibrate. 

Unknown

Set up a date and take a picture of Y/N and that boy you posted on your insta story. Or Y/N finds out the truth about what you did. XOXO

Kate looked up as she cursed herself, realizing she forgot to keep her story private. It was supposed to be a harmless post of old friends reuniting and now the unknown number has used it as blackmail. It would have been easy to find the culprit, but her view count was up in the thousands with unfamiliar faces. It’s what she gets after gaining a decent following on TikTok. Kate couldn’t let Y/N know what she did, and she’d make sure she would hide that truth from her for as long as she can. “Hey, Y/N...I think we should hit up Matt.” she says, running after her best friend. 

At the same time, another texted popped from Y/N’s phone. She picked up thinking it might have been a group chat with her close friends, but it was from the only person who could make her heart flutter and break simultaneously. 

Tom

I can’t stop thinking about you. About us. I still love you. 

Y/N almost called him..almost, but she knew better. She couldn’t...not unless she wanted to continue to hurt each other. 

Meanwhile, back in London, Harrison was ready to come clean to Tom about what he’d found out. He watched as Tom finished typing on his phone, and throwing it on the side of the bed, rubbing his face. This was the new normal. Tom being alone in the dark, reflecting on his sadness and exhaustion. Only stepping out when needed and keeping up smiles for appearances. 

It was then Harrison was ready to knock on the door, when his phone received a notification.

Unknown

Don’t even think about it. Or I’ll make sure you and your lads careers are over for good.

Harrison sighed deeply, as he put his phone down, and walked away. Until he came to a most probable conclusion. “Natalie.” he says anger. “I should have fucking known.” At this point he no longer cared, about who she was before and how they were friends. The timing of it all seemed too perfect. Her arrival, the eavesdropping, the flirting. It had to be her but with what proof other than unknown numbers and good timing? Another part of him feared...what if it wasn't her?

Meanwhile, Tom was still unaware of what was really happening behind his door, but he did know, he had to take a chance now and try to contact her instead of sending these useless messages. In the moment, he showed no signs of regret, only praying Y/N would pick up so he could hear her voice. 

“Tom?” Y/N answers hesitantly.

Tom closes his eyes, as he takes in her soft and gently voice. “Y/N.” he speaks softly into the phone. 

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl​ @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit​ @trumpettay @astridcommings

[shhh-no-ones-home]

kick back vinny mauro x reader

+++++++++

the song she sings are original lyrics by me, there will be a screenshot of the whole thing in the comments/reblogs if you would like to see it all. there is no sheet music, i am not a musician, but the lyrics are all my own and subject to copyright (/11/06/20/). thanks for understanding

Song: sorry haha I fell asleep by egg

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee +++++++++

I looked down at my phone as it rang for the eighth time today. It was Vinny. Again. Couldn't he take the hint? He thought he wanted me but I knew he didn't. How could he? Clearly he wouldn't let it go though. I rolled my eyes and went to put my phone back down when it dinged. He didn't call this time. It was actually a text.

"I know you're ignoring me but I'm gonna keep trying, i told you how i feel and thats not gonna change. Also a heads up, I'll see you on tour."

My eyes went wide before I immediately called our band manager.

"Just the person I wanted to talk to."

She said fairly chipper.

"Tell me we aren't."

I said sternly.

"What?"

She sounded confused.

"Tell me we aren't touring with motionless."

She laughed a little.

"Why would I tell you that? Of course you guys are. isnt it exciting?"

My mouth dropped.

"Why?!"

"Um, because it's good publicity? their manager called me yesterday and asked if you wanted to collab on something too so i hope youve been writing. but back to tour. They are doing a short spring tour, just a few weeks. i figured you were the best breakout band on my label."

She seemed very happy. I sighed into the receiver.

"Dawn their drummer has been calling and texting me for two weeks straight."

She paused.

"Okay?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"He has been trying to get me to go out with him for two weeks straight."

"Oh!"

She said.

"Then what's the problem?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Ya know what, actually there's no problem. this is a great opportunity for our career. When are we starting?"

"Great! I have to call the rest of the girls but you start February third."

I nodded.

"Okay. Two months away. I can put this off till then."

I said more to myself.

"Well dear I've got to go, I'll talk to you when the posters come out."

°°°°°°°°°

i sat on the ground outside the bus and strummed my guitar lightly. id been in contact with all the girls from our band and all the motionless guys for our new song together since i got the call from dawn two months ago but things werent coming out as good as wed hoped. so here i was still working on it, by myself. the thing is though the song was supposed to be out by the end of tour and yet here we all were, one week in and still nothing. i couldnt even focus on the task at hand. i had to much other shit running through my mind.

"that sounds pretty."

i heard from behind me and stiffened my body.

"thanks, ive been trying to find new chords for the song."

i said as vinny came into view.

"well i think it sounds great, when i read through the lyrics you had so far i wasnt really sure how heavy it would end up being but i kinda like that."

he said, moving to sit in front of me. i nodded.

"it will be heavier but my brain wont let me right now."

i said, dropping my hands to my lap. he nodded back.

"well what you have so far sounds beautiful anyways."

i stared at the ground, tapping my fingers lightly against the guitar.

"actually vin, this isnt for the collab. its actually for you and the only reason i cant finish the other song is because im lost."

he raised a brow.

"its for me?"

i sighed.

"i dont exactly know how to talk to you anymore so i figured a song would be easier but its really not."

i said through a nervous laugh.

"ive been meaning to talk to you about that actually."

i shook my head.

"you dont have-"

"no, i do."

he said, sending me a look.

"i shouldve taken the hint in December but i thought that if i persisted then maybe youd see how much i meant what i said. but i guess somewhere along the line i got annoying. hell i know, i did, i was annoying myself. then when you started texting me back, even though it was just about the new song, i was excited. it meant i could still talk to you even if it was just business."

"vin i-"

"please, just listen for a second."

i cleared my throat and nodded.

"okay, lay it on me."

he took a deep breath.

"i want you to know that i did mean what i said, i do really like you and i want to try something, a relationship, casual dates, hell even just hanging out. maybe you dont want more, and thats fine. but i still want you in my life and i want you to know that i do care about you. even if you have been ignoring me on purpose."

i frowned.

"vin i dont know how to do this."

i said, motioning between us.

"all my past relationships have crashed and burned and i dont know how to move on form that. i dont want to have to change who i am again."

he shook his head.

"you dont- you would never have to do that. i like you the way you are, and i want to prove that to you."

i sent him a look.

"no, you like who ive created for you. thats not me. im not carefree and easy going, and agreeable. im pig headed and strongly opinionated and i have a loud mouth."

i said with a laugh. he smiled back at me which i wasnt quite expecting.

"i dont care about all that. i care about you, whether you think youve created someone for me or not. give me stubborn. give me opinionated and loud. hell even give me furious at times. i know thats the real you and yet im still trying. cant you see that?"

i bit the inside of my cheek and thought for a second. then i looked down started strumming again lightly.

"im sorry for making things harder, i never meant to make it this far."

i began singing lightly.

"you dont deserve this mess of a person, i just keep making things hard."

i looked to him and he was staring at me intently.

"we've made it this far, i cant believe youre still around. i thank the heavens cause if not id be six feet down"

i closed my eyes, swaying back and forth as i played.

"Im sorry for making things harder, you dealt with this before. If i make it up to you somehow, we wont have to waste our time no more."

i said softly, over the guitar before stopping and looking at him.

"its not quite done yet."

i said a little shy. he sent me a small smile.

"i love you."

he said and my face went straight. i watched as he scooted his way closer to my side.

"ill always be here for you, no matter how we move forward."

i looked to my lap for a second before looking back to him. he was staring at me longingly.

"i think i love you too vin."

i said, barely above a whisper. he looked between my eyes before his hand moved to graze my cheek. i couldnt help moving into him. before i knew what was happening i was kissing him lightly, his hand going to the back of my head to hold me to him. when he pulled away he had a huge smile on his face.

"the song sounds great by the way."

i laughed a little at that, feeling a blush creep its way to my face as he pressed his forehead to mine.

"our little atypical love song."

[thewritingstar]

Happy Birthday!!

HOLD THE PHONE. TODAY IS @icyhotheartwritings BIRTHDAY AND I CAN NOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!!!!!!! WE ARE BESTIES AND THIS IS FOR YOU SO I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY LOVE BECAUSE YOU DESERVE THE WORLD. 

No joke but you’re one of my fav people that I talk to every day and im so happy that i got the chance to be your friend!!

Pairing: Kiribaku (because duh) 

---

Bakugou could count the amount of people he has ever had a crush on with one hand. And well one finger. At first he found it annoying. How was he suppose to get anything done when the image of a certain someone kept appearing? Maybe it was just that he was constantly around him? That was it. It had to be. 

But slowly he found his mind going back to him over and over. Any time he heard a joke or saw the smallest bit of red, even if it was just a flower or spilt pasta sauce by his mother, he appeared. Focusing was hard because how could you when you wanted to know how those teeth felt against your lips after a hardcore workout and he was so close you could just reach out-

Nope. He couldn’t. 

Being the number one hero was the only goal he had. That was all he saw in his future. The medal of honor around his chest, adoring fans and Deku crying, either from joy or tears of rivalry, which ever came first. But not love. Not a family or a person to come home to after a long mission that wreaked his soul. 

Number one was just that. One and done. Alone. And he was okay with that. 

--

“When did you know mom was the one?” Bakugou said out of the blue during lunch with his father. 

His dad stopped the food before it reached his lips and his eyes widened as his son opened up. It wasn’t rare since they had that bond but a smile popped onto his face as he realized that his explosive son probably had a crush. 

“Well to be honest, it took awhile.” He stated. “It wasn’t until the fifth time she asked me out that I realized that she was the one.” 

“Wait. Mom asked you out?” 

“Yeah. I was focused on my career during college and didn’t really date but I loved being around her. We were great friends and then slowly I realized that I had mistaken our friendship for love.” 

His son fell silent before returning to his food. “So you’re saying that you were best friends then decided to date? What if it ruined what you had?” 

Masaru thought back to all the friends his son had. He never brought up the topic of dating or crushes and this seemed very out of the ordinary for him. The only person he could think of was Kirishima. He was the only person who had visited their house on multiple occasions without the others following behind. Bakugou had even referred to him as his best friend. 

He hid his smile as he thought of the times when his wife and him first started dating. 

“Well that the thing. I was scared to dip my toes in the water. I was scared that I would lose my best friend and that no matter how hard we tried, we could never turn back.” he took a bite. “however the thought of not discovering what it could be was worse. And I’m glad I did because now i have my best friend and a bratty son.” He smirked.

Bakugou smiled too before getting up. “Thanks dad.” 

“Any time.” 

Bakugou walked to his room contemplating what his dad had said. 

Down in the kitchen his dad picked up the phone. “Honey you are not going to believe this.” 

---

Summer was almost over. Class 2A or well now 3A was about to start their new school year in less than a week. It had been crazy as everyone was traveling and hanging out with their friends and of course Kirishima made sure that him and his best bro spent time together. 

They were currently hiking on a trail that Bakugou loved to go to. The other times the whole squad joined but after the chat with his dad, the blond needed to get something off his chest. But as they kept walking further out leaving the world behind, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to take it. 

“And then Denki chased a rat into a trash can.” Kiri laughed as they paused at the edge of a cliff. He turned and noticed that Bakugou had been quiet the entire story, not even a sly remark or calling someone dumb was said and he noticed that he had spaced out. “Hey bro, you okay?” 

Bakugou was lost in his mind again. “Yeah.” 

But he knew his friend better than that. Kirishima shrugged and sat down, letting his feet dangle over the edge. The sun was almost ready to set and he felt his palms get weird and clammy but he ignored it. Thats what he had been doing for two years. 

Bakugou followed in suit and their shoulders were slightly touching, which made his heart beat faster and it was almost painful. 

“Cant believe we are gonna graduate this year.” Kirishima said in disbelief. “Its crazy how in less than a year, we will be moving on and becoming heroes in no time.” 

“Yeah.”

Kiri barked out a laugh as he tapped his shoulder against his. “You’ll be number one in no time, im sure of it.” 

“And what about you?” Bakugou asked without facing him. “Where will you be?”

“Hopefully fighting alongside with you.”

And that’s all it took. Bakugou sighed before taking a deep breath. 

“Have you ever considered life along side hero work?”

The red head furrowed his eyebrows. “Like dating?”

“Like dating” He repeated. 

“Didn’t know the great Katsuki Bakugou had any thoughts about that stuff.” He faced him and although his tone was playful, Bakugou didn’t miss the sadness that followed. “I’ve always wondered.” Kirishima said honestly. 

I was scared that I would lose my best friend and that no matter how hard we tried, we could never turn back.

Their eyes met and they were only inches apart. If one of them leaned their noses would brush together. 

“Have you?” He asked as he leaned slightly. “I thought being a hero was all you wanted.”

the thought of not discovering what it could be was worse

Their noses touched. He could practically feel the others breathing pause and when he thought about being a hero again, all he could see was the two of them together. 

“I thought so too.” and he closed the gap as he kissed his best friend slowly. 

The tension that had been building up for two years had dissipated. Every unanswered question that was running through their heads had been answered through that kiss. It was slow and hesitant and Bakugou was scared to know if they he had just dug his grave. 

“Wow.” Kirishima breathed as they pulled away. 

Their foreheads rested together as Kirishima intertwined their fingers and Bakugou let him. 

You would think that all the sass and arrogance that followed the blond would be right here in this moment. That he would be on cloud nine because he had the balls to do something so terrifying but rewarding at the same time. 

But he was breathless and calm. It was an ocean of uncertainty and everything he had every thought about had flown out the window. He was a nervous wreak and Kirishima could see that. 

“Hey.” Kiri whispered. “Its okay to be shy and take it slow. im just happy that we finally got our shit together.” 

A small smile lifted his spirits as the red head kissed his cheek. 

“Im happy too.” 

“Then thats all that matters.” 

They sat and watched the sunset before setting up their tent. Bakugou felt like he could breath and his focus became better as he knew that he was meant to always have his best friend, now boyfriend on his mind.

They laid their sleeping bags right next to each other and Kirishima locked their fingers together before kissing his knuckles. “So when do i get to tell people that I’m dating the future number one hero.” He winked and he smiled as the blush crept on the blonds face. 

Bakugou rolled his eyes before leaning over and kissing him softly. Something that he found out he really liked to do. “Fuck it you can tell them that I’m dating the manliest hero anyone has ever seen.” 

“And here I thought you forgot the cussing and turned soft.” 

“Me soft? Never.” 

“Not even for me?” Kiri jokingly batted his eyelashes. 

“Maybe.” 

They spent the rest of the night chatting like usual, the only difference was their hands were clutched together, promising to never let go. 

---

Bakugou could count the amount of people he ever fell in love with on one hand, with one finger. And as the years would pass by and their hero ranks would climb. the golden band sitting on his ring finger would state the truth. 

----

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ICY!!! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR BIRTHDAY FIC (THAT YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN’T NEED BUT GOT ANYWAYS!!!!

[venusmages]

otp tag.

tagged by @solasan​, thank u!!!!!   tagging: @ritualism​ and @editoress​ i think all my other Wayhaven ppl have been @’d already

PENNY AND FELIX EDITION

DISAGREEMENTS.

who is more likely to raise their voice?

i neither! penny if i had to choose, but shes usually p good at keeping cool. and felix doesn’t seem like a shouty person anyways.

who threatens to leave but never actually does?

N/A

who actually keeps their word and leaves?

N/A

who trashes the house?

N/A

do either of them get physical?

N/A

how often do they argue/disagree?

i think their first disagreement is in book 2 when Felix got hurt during Sanja’s rescue. Penny feels super guilty about it and is worried Felix is brushing it off when he has a right to be upset. She’s kinda haunted by that whole situation and the choice she had to make. Other than that, they definitely never really argue. At most in the beginning Penny was just kind of oblivious/flippant because she’s socially awkward lol

who is the first to apologize?

both lmao

SEX.

who is on top? who is on bottom?

Felix is a little top  you cant convince me otherwise

any kinks?

not really

who has the strangest desires?

i think they’re mostly just cute in bed without anythnig crazy going on

who’s dominant in bed?

  FELIX!! in the cute ‘i got this’ kind of way. Penny’s shy so definitely not her.

is head ever in the equation?

duh

if so, who is better at performing it?

felix has the charisma but i think penny has the technique

ever had sex in public?

 they did almost fuck in nate’s library 

who moans the most?

Penny!  Felix thinks its cute

who leaves the most marks?

FELIX LOVES HICKIES. hes sad that they don’t last super long on him, but she tries anyway.

who is the more experienced of the two?

I think they’re pretty even actually

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

latter

how long do they usually last?

im sure it varies

rough or soft?

soft!!

is protection used?

YES. penny is ON that shit. Though she wouldn’t be against having kids one day.

does it ever get boring?

nah they’re too cute and in gross cuddly love. Does felix look like he’d EVER get bored of the detective

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

it didnt  happen but again, nates library. Penny was secretly kinda into it 

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children / do they have children?

 I don’t think either are seriously considering it for a while but Penny is a good 50/50 on it!

if so, how many children do they want/have?

just one, maybe two.

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

Felix! Penny’s a little more standoffish in general with physical affection, but she does love cuddling Felix. If he wants to cuddle she’s p much always down for it.

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Felix. Have you heard what that boy says

who struggles to keep their hands to themself?

Felix! Though only in private. He know’s Penny’s shy and its cute to do it when shes working or something. He likes playfully distracting her.

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Probably for a good while, though Penny has a tendency to get antsy. Usually it just means her getting up and him happily following after her though

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

video games! She showed him Animal Crossing and it was over

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

on the couch!

SLEEPING.

who snores?

Penny...

if both do, who snores the loudest?

Not loudly , but again penny.

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

they share a bed!

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

depends!

what do they wear to bed?

Penny wears pj shorts and a cotton shirt, pretty simple. Felix is probs similar

are either of them insomniacs?

Penny DEFINITELY is. Thankfully Felix doesn’t sleep a lot so she’s rarely disturbing him!

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

YEP. Especially after book 1, she started having nightmares.

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

Felix is a koala.

who wakes up with bed hair?

Penny. Felix somehow always looks fucking perfect and she’d be jealous if she didn’t think it was so charming.

who wakes up first?

Penny. Even if Felix is just lazing about, she’s one of those responsible people or something.

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Felix tried. keyword being tried. 

what is their favourite sleeping position?

Penny sleeps on her side and Felix clambers around either with one leg over her or spooning her usually.

do they set an alarm each night?

Penny does!

who has nightmares?

Both :(. Hard to tell with Felix how often for him

can a television be found in their bedroom?

Penny doesn’t have a TV

who has ridiculous dreams?

Felix for sure. Sometimes involving stuff pertaining to the Echo World and Penny is like ??? and he doesn’t know how to explain it.

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Felix

who makes the bed?

Felix, because he insists. Penny goes back and straightens it out

what time is bed time?

 bed by 1

any routines/rituals before bed?

felix insists on brushing their teeth together bc he thinks its cute (penny does too). its how she first actually got a glimpse of his fangs

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

neither! though felix DOES complain.

WORK.

who is the busiest?

penny. felix is  busy keeping himself from dying of boredom

who rakes in the highest income?

n/a

are any of them unemployed?

n/a

who takes the most sick days?

Penny, though very rarely. She usually saves them for days where she wants to work from home because the office got too overwhelming.

what are their jobs?

Vampire Agent vs Police Detective

who sucks up to their boss?

 Felix tries to charm Rebecca. Rebecca just sighs.

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

Felix. Got distracted

who stresses the most?

PENNY. though she usually takes things in stride, she’s a little up tight.

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

Penny is fine with being a detective and doubly fine with being an agent.

are they financially stable?

yeah!

HOME.

who does the washing?

Penny. We know what Felix’s stance is on laundry considering he hides his socks in Mason’s hamper.

who takes out the trash?

Felix , and he acts like a hero

who does the ironing?

Penny! She wears nice clothes that definitely would require ironing. 

who does the cooking?

Penny is a serviceable cook, though she tends to cook the same things. And sometimes still eats like a (healthier) college student because she doesn’t have the energy. Felix LOVES using it as an excuse to order food.

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

Felix.

who is messier?

Felix. More just disorganized

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Felix. Again, boy clearly hates laundry

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Neither. Unless Felix yoinked the keys - then they could be anywhere.

who answers the telephone?

FELIX. First ring, always. 

who mows the lawn?

city slickers for life so neither

who does the vacuuming?

both. felix likes doing it and danciing

who does the groceries?

Penny because felix will bring back a bunch of things they didnt need

who takes the longest to shower?

Penny. She uses so much water

who spends the most time in the bathroom?

neither!

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

nah theyre secret agents

how many cars do they own?

just penny’s little clunker

what’s their song?

waterfalls coming out your mouth // violet hour (especially this one) // sugar

do they live in the city or in the country?

small town

do they own their home or do they rent?

penny’s renting but wouldn’t be against owning a little flat somewhere

do they enjoy their surroundings?

wayhaven is home and comfortable for penny! she was actually falling out of love for it before she got promoted, now she feels protective over it and the supernaturals shes now aware live there.

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

felix goes insane waiting until they can meet up again. penny is often thinking abt him but is eager to get work done so she can do it even sooner

where did they first meet?

abandoned warehouse in book one - though the first meeting SHE remembers is him kissing her on the hand... romance...

who spends the most money when out shopping?

i feel they both are pretty similar! Theyre Fashionable, though Pennys really good at budgeting.

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

listen it doesnt happen in canon but if you do the combat training route with felix he fucking puts your hands up his shirt

any mental issues?

penny has anxiety and has been diagnosed as autistic since she was, like, 12. felix clearly has some shit he’s not letting himself fully mourn but OKAY BUDDY

who finds it amusing when the other trips over? 

penny laughs when felix trips just because he’s like a beautiful ragdoll and always ‘saves’ himself in really funny ways. felix is such a prince charming i think he’d see her tripping more as an excuse to be dashing and handsome at her and save her from face planting than laugh. 

who’s terrified of bugs?

penny definitely isn’t. could see felix losing his shit over a spider.

who kills the spiders around the house?

PENNY. doesn’t kill them though.

do they have any fears for their future?

Penny’s worried that loved ones might get put into danger due to ... everything. Verda found out about vampires and wasn’t hyped, so she’s worried about their friendship and his saftey most of all. She’s also worried about making ‘tough’ choices like the one at the end of book 2. It’s not a pleasant dilemma.

their favourite place?

Penny’s apartment!

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

felix FOR SURE

who pays the bills?

both, but penny set it all up on autopay bc felix would forget.

who’s the tallest?

Felix! He’s like what, 5′7-5′9? penny’s 5′3.

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Both! Penny’s shy when doing it but she loves felix’s reaction because he’s always super excited.

who wanders around in their underwear?

neither

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

felix. duh

what do they tease each other about?

everything! penny teases felix over how energetic and goofy and ~suave~ he is. He teases penny over being bashful - but she actually teases him more! He teases her over ROMANTIC stuff.

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Penny. The waistcoat, Felix. Why. No

who crushed first?

FELIX DIDDDDDDD. Penny got flustered but is very :/ at relationships bc she struggles socially and the only serious relationship she had prior was fucking BOBBY. So she straight up doesn’t trust that felix is being genuine at first. Also she’s a lil bit oblivious.

any alcohol or substance related problems?

nope!

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

neither

who swears the most?

probably felix, though I don’t think he swears a lot either?

[do-lvn]

Hey there, Grayson

SUMMARY: Grayson and (Y/N) were best friends since second grade, they grew and so did their love.

based off ‘hey there, Delilah.’ By plain white t’s :)

15, you were fifteen when you realized that you were in love with Grayson. It was a simple day, a normal one to be exact, it was spent at the Dolan household. Being only 7 when you had met Ethan and Grayson, it made you all inseparable. So days at their house was nothing new. Once when your parents left for a business trip you ended up staying with them for a whole month. And even though you all had been inseparable, there was something that you and Grayson had and with being so little, was something you couldn’t quite wrap your head around just yet. So as a young one you ignored it, but when you all were huddled in a blanket outside by the fire it hit you hard. You turned to look at Grayson who was smiling at some absurd joke Ethan had just told and you felt your heart slow down, as you watched him laugh.

You felt your chest tighten and your heart started pounding as it felt like a truck was running straight through you. He took notice of someone's gaze and turned to meet eyes with you, sending you a shy smile and ducking his head further into the blanket, because whether or not he would admit it everyone knew you were truly the only girl who would drive Grayson crazy.

Yet you didn't know that, because when you hit the age 16, Grayson confessed his love for you on - only - the second date. He couldn't help it. He had taken you to the beach to watch the sun go down, simple, yet you loved every second of it. That's when he looked over at you and said it. “(Y/N), I'm in love with you.” your heart only swelled as you pulled him into a bone crushing hug. All the current events shocking you nonetheless.

Then 4OU happened and you were thrilled when Grayson invited you to join, both him and Ethan agreeing it wouldn’t be as fun without their best friend. So you had begged your mom to go and when she finally said yes, you were quickly packing your bags for months on the road. You even had Grayson on the phone not believing you were actually able to go. “I know, it’s crazy. I didn't think she was going to give in.” he chuckled at that, “me neither but I'm not complaining like my girlfriend gets to go on tour with me.” you felt your stomach start doing flips at the title. His girlfriend.

17, was the age Grayson broke your heart, along with his. His career had a huge take off after tour and his manager had insisted they move to Los Angeles for better business when you found out the news your heart shattered, it was just the beginning of your junior year. “It’s best if we break up, angel. You still have school and things will be hard.” you nodded, he knew you understood and you couldn't hold him back making videos was something he enjoyed and you weren't about to be another person telling Grayson he couldn't do it. “Don’t forget about me, okay?” you ask while wiping a tear from his cheek, he laughs and pulls you into a quick kiss. “I couldn’t even if I tried, I love you.” you smile and hug him tighter.

Even though you were sad, and so was Grayson no doubt. You both knew how big the situation was and it was an opportunity they couldn't pass up, so with one last hug and a quick peck he was out the door.

19 - PRESENT DAY

“Ethan! You bitch ass.” Grayson groaned as he watched Ethan take a quick shot at him. He quickly dropped his headset, “Fuck you, I was about to get victory royale.” Ethan snickers, “so? I wanted to win.” Grayson turned around in his chair and threw the nearest pillow at Ethan. “Hey! Don’t be a sore loser.” Grayson sighed, “whatever, I'm going to finish editing the video.”

Ethan didn’t bother to pry his eyes away from the screen, just stuck up a hand and waved Grayson off. He made his way back to his bedroom and flopped onto his mattress, life was good, but there was something missing that even though Grayson couldn’t quite figure out exactly what it was, he knew he would find out soon.

Very soon.

“(Y/N), please be a dear and set these on the table for me.”  Your mom was having a dinner party for her co-workers, one you weren’t invited too “I don’t get why I’m helping when you're not even letting me join!” you said jokingly. “I’ll have your father send you a plate straight to your room, sound good?” you set down the last plate and place a hand on your chin, “hmm not sure, I will say yes only if I get a cherry cola.”

She smiles, “I’ll do you one better, this was supposed to be a surprise but Lisa is coming along with the twins, they finally came around the time you were here, so I'll have your father bring you Grayson, k?” you feel your heart stop and your smile get wider, “sounds perfect.”

Seeing Grayson for the first time in 2 years had your heart racing. You had talked here and there over the years but nothing recent with you being so busy with college, so it was now winter break and you were happy that you were finally having a nice breather away from all the exams. You were going on to your second year and it was nice, college was looking way better than high school.

“So mom, she’s going into her second year right?” Lisa laughed at Grayson's nervousness, “yes gray, and calm down, you know her, she’s still the same bubbly girl she was three years ago.” he nodded. “Right right, would've been nice if Ethan joined.” she nodded, “yeah, a nice reunion.” he looked down, “yeah.”

When the door got pulled open, revealing your mother. Grayson’s nerves got bad he was thinking nothing but the worse. That maybe you would be mad at him for not talking to you recently. But he was wrong and it was just panic. “Nice to see you gray, (Y/N)’s upstairs, you know the way.” she shooed him off and continued to conversate with Lisa.

He took a look at your stairs and let all the memories you two had come back to him, it made him feel better knowing that you guys didn't end on a bad note, he took one last deep breath before knocking on your door. When he did you were quick to hop up. It had been three years since you had seen gray in person and you didn’t know how to feel, or how he looked.

The door opened and gray smiled, “hey.” he didn’t say anything back just quickly pulled you into a hug. “I missed you so much, how are you? How’s school? Tell me everything.” you smile and close your door.

“I'm going into my second year of college, only 2 more left after that. I'm good, just busy. Schools so stressful and on top of that my job is irritating. But i'm managing, how about you, how are you?” he casually shrugged, “good, things have been good. I've just been busy with filming and meetings and stuff like that.” you smile.

“Im happy your good. Hows ethan?” he laughed. “Good, still dramatic as fuck.” this time you both shared a laugh. “I really did miss you (Y/N). just things aren't the same without you.” you look down.

“ i miss you guys too, i think about you all the time gray. Wish we didn’t drift like we did, but we could fix that. If you want.” he smiled. “Would love that, now tell me what’s college like?”

You laugh. “Well…” he let your voice fade as he admired you, a lot had changed, your hair was shorter and lighter, your eyes brighter than before and lips plumper. “And other than frat parties every weekend it just stress. I don't go to parties though not my thing.” he nodded. “Never has been.”

The night went on and you fully forgot about all the guests your mom had downstairs, your whole focus on how life was for gray in l.a. He even mentioned the new house him and ethan had, “you should come to visit when your on break, again.” you smile. “I could, i have spring break next.” he smiled. “Really, that’s perfect, me and e can show you around l.a.” you laugh. “Sounds like a plan.”

You both ended up at the park, a childhood spot. You pointed to the slide that over the years became old and damaged. “Remember when we pushed ethan down the slide and he landed on his face.” he chuckled, “and we got into so much trouble, yeah i think i remember. My mom took away my ipod.” you laugh and look over at the old tire swing. “Our first kiss was on that tire swing, then right after you fell off.” you felt your cheeks heat up at the memory. “Gosh don't remind me, that was so embarrassing.” he chuckled. “It was cute, your cheeks were so red, you looked like a tomato, hey kind of like you do right now.” you playfully smack his shoulder, he only smiles and looks down.

“It’s kind of crazy to remember where i was only three years ago and now look at me.” you laugh, “i know, when did you start working out?” it was his turn to playfully push you. “I've always worked out, don't be rude.” you put your hands up in defense, “okay, okay.”

The last encounter was better than before, “it was amazing to see you, keep in touch okay?” you nod. “Of course, i miss you already.” he pulls you into a quick hug. “Hey two more years and then your done and i'll be waiting for you.” you pull him closer. “Yeah, i’ll see you soon, gray.” he squeezed tighter and placed a kiss to your forehead. “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

“G’night gray.”

You were currently at home finishing up an assignment when your phone started ringing, to occupied with work you didnt even bother to see the name. “Hey there, (Y/N).” you smile at the voice.

“Hey there, grayson.”

- THE END

[moonchildhcs]

parkjin headcanons!!

ur honestly both in awe at how ur in a relationship with each other because neither of u give urselves enough credit !!!! u r both sweethearts and visual gods

hyunjin: “wow ur so cute i cant believe ur dating me” parker: “no!! thats me @ u” god: “p l e a s e ur both cute babies and u deserve each other”

i digress

this bb is friends with some clingy ass mofos !!! like daehwi !!! ur getting the hugs u deserve and u will get no complaints from him abt ur affections either because hes just sitting their with you like o//w//o

dont believe this boys dangerous stage presence he is a softie through and through he will get you flowers and chocolates and everything you could possibly imagine !!! angel baby sweetie pie ur pumpy umpy umpkin !!!

he would absolutely love dancing with you !! he loves ur passion and drive to perform and is always willing to practice with u even when hes tired :( bb boy !! hes much nicer than chan tho lol but hes still a pretty strict teacher so expect some dramatic improvement under him

(also whenever you pull off a move properly he gives u a sweet s m o o c h so it encourages you to do even better for more opportunities to kiss ur bf)

bc hes an idol !! yall cant go out publicly for dates all the time so a typical date is yall goofing off at home, watching movies and shows on netflix, a romantic dinner if yall have the energy but generally takeout, blasting music and dancing around, etc etc he just loves being with you

but when its been a while he will absolutely take you out on cute dates!! sometimes cute elaborate picnics, sometimes a spontaneous trip around the city at night, but always without a fail fun and exciting, especially with your boyfie by ur side :^)

also initially he is SO shy with you !! like remember how shy he was around jinyoung ??? during the survival show??? multiply that by a MILLION this boy was so shy he blushed the deepest shade of red just by h*lding ur h*nd !!! he gains more confidence as the relationship progresses but pls be easy on this bb boys heart

also (wiggles eyebrows) yall can have some spicy kisses !! some intense makeout sessions !! but nothing further lol he is a SHY BOY and also very much 18 he is awkward and is not abt that life rn lol

like ur gonna be shocked at the duality because at the beginning of the relationship hes like “c-can i h*ld ur h*nd? and ur like “how did u censor that out loud” but now hes like “makeout with me” and ur like bitch WHAT but also okay lol

this boy is a solid eight inches taller than you lol if you think he wont even lightly tease you about the height difference you are wrong !! ur just chillin and hes like “hey :) hows the weather down there” and ur like “i will END you” and he blows a kiss ur direction and ur like “okay maybe not ur kinda cute. but comment on my height again and u will receive no mercy”

DUDE he is at the perfect height where he can rest his chin on ur head!! and give u forehead kisses !!!! he just loves u so much man !!! sure kissing u on the lips is great and all but kissing ur forehead?? CUTE

also so many of his shirts and hoodies disappeared and he was like ?????????? what !!! and then he saw you just DROWNING in his hoodie because he too loves oversized stuff and hes like. im fine with this (he takes photos and sets them as his home and lockscreen when they arent promoting) (this boy is GOOD at not getting caught)

dude when the Boiis found out u two were dating they LOST IT !!! interrogated then welcomed !! hyunjin was exposed by them a lot lol they exposed ALL the juicy stories and u were like :^)

dont worry tho ya girl laramie exposed u in kind so then hyunjin was like :^)

truly a bonding experience for the both of you

yall are both visual gods so sometimes u both will just. try on even the most ridiculous outfits and have a fashion show in the living room of ur technically shared apartment

yall take photos on ur phones in a super exaggerated manner in order to mimic the paparazzi and photographers and shout encouragements like “YES KING GET THAT BREAD” and “OH YES WORK IT”

willing to nerd out with you at a l l times !!!

oh my god him sleeping over when he can when hes not promoting and u waking up to him spooning u and just. big cuddle hours: activated

soft kisses before jokingly going “u have morning breath” and just the resounding GROAN before he threatens to leave u cold in the bed and ur like no wait-

hes trying to be frugal with his money as he hasnt been an idol for that long but he definitely buys you gifts from time to time when hes reminded of u

“babe i got this red panda plushie for u” (insert parkers unintelligible  shrieking here)

hes not the most jealous boyfriend actually !! he trusts you a lot and is okay with you being friends with whomever u please but sometimes he sees u fangiring over his seniors or smth and hes like >:( im a good performer too love me !!!! pls !! he just wants ur love smooch his cheeks and ull be good

also to get him flustered? peck his cheeks or (gasp) his NOSE he gets so flustered bc its so innocent but so intimate at the same time so he just gets so RED and stutters and ur just like :^) ah how the turn tables

this boy is a ROMANTIC through and through hes not old fashioned but he likes doing cheesy things like opening the door for you, giving you flowers, pulling out the chair for you, etc etc

he just wants to LOOOOOOOOOOVE you !!!!!

he doesnt go for too many pet names but babe and princess are what he leans towards !!

he practices his english on u and u practice ur korean on him (hint, ur better at korean than he is at english)

but he tries so hard and hes so cute !!! his english is so cute!! appreciate this baby pl s

him: “my hands are big so i can hold the world” u: “worm?” him: (holds ur cheeks) u: (choked) “w-worm?”

u guys r so cheesy but its so cute !! he just wants whats best for you

also you guys are no strangers to having deep and highly emotional talks because ur both very empathetic and vulnerable people

youve talked about ur insecurities and so has he!!! uve also both confronted the whole “ur not dating me because of my visuals/because im an idol right” and ur like “um?? no ur a sweetheart and a dedicated boii and performer and-” and then u go on a half hour long rant about all the things u love abt him and hes just like :’) i love you

whenever hes away for one reason or another, esp stuff like tours, he leaves a bunch of his clothes that smell like him so you wont feel as lonely !!! because the sad reality is is that on tours when hes not on stage hes practicing practicing practicing so keeping in touch is kinda hard

but he does his best !! he sends letters and text messages and voice messages and everything !! and when he can he facetimes you !!

we have ALL seen the boys instagram he will take a burst of 10000000 selfies on ur phone, plague u with the “ur icloud storage is almost full” messages, and it takes u 12239632485 years to delete them all (after making sure they are safely backed up into ur google photos)

yall are SO CUTE and take so many couple photos !!! yall are that iconic couple and u generally post these on ur super exclusive finsta but sometimes u sneak in a blurry pic of him on ur main or even a censored pic of him and ur like “do u ever just have the cutest sweetest (and hottest but hush) boyf in the world to flex on the broke bitches who hate u” and hyunjin is like BABE and ur like :^) 

lowkey sometimes u get jealous of jinyoung bc this boii loves and respects him so much and ur like “What Does He Have That I Do Not” and hyunjin is like “a successful career as an idol” and ur like “define successful” and he GASPS

jokesjokes lol yall playfully argue with each other a lot but if any of u go too far its pretty obvious bc u get quieter and he just. emotionally withdraws and u can see it in his eyes and ur both like OH NO BABE i didnt mean to hurt you im sorry !! and ull have a quick convo with multiple apologies and then ur BACK TO BUSINESS

OMG DUDE HOW YALL MET WAS SO CUTE

so basically he was out with !! the boiis at this cute coffee shop that is never crowded so its safe for them to just relax without having seven masks on lol

and the u !! come in with laramie like :( dude school SUCKS and laramie like nods her head intently like yes indeed

and this boy is struck with LOVE like ur . so cute. and tiny. and cute. and ur venting so passionately about how the education system does Not Meet The Needs of students and hes like. her passion. i love it

and u havent noticed him but oh man the boiis have and they are RUTHLESS bc hes so shy but theyre like GIVE HER UR NUMBER COWARD

and after an overwhelming amount of encouragements and some mild bullying (and laramie going to the bathroom because this dumb bitch spilled a lil bit of tea on her shorts and shes LIVID) and this boy approaches u and ur now love stricken

bc hes so CUTE !!! and its clear hes a lil nervous bc hes blushing uwuwuwuwuwuwu but he said !! he really admires ur passion and he thinks ur really cute and hes sorry if this is creepy but could i get ur number and ur like yes. pls. i love you (jokesjokes u dont profess ur love immediately but DAMN were u close to)

u and hyunjin all blushie and excited and the boiis are LOSING it and laramie comes back like “hey fellas whatd i miss-”

anyways yall are THAT power couple who love each other and are super devoted!! and have an amazing time with each other and DAMN ppl say love is dead but clearly they havent met yall

@daffodwlw read this and weep tears of love, coward

[canonise]

I found something I wrote somewhere around this time last year and its funny to read bc lke some stuff has changed and other stuff hasnt and overall i’m still the same dramatic whiny bitch but i feel distance from most of what i said which is good, like i typed the whole long ass thing up (mostly to avoid studying) and it didnt stir up any feelings im just glad i have friends now but i want to have it saved somewhere

How do i feel?

How i feel after every interaction

awkward, like i did something wrong/ misstepped in someway

I’m not good at it but Katie [my old counsellor] says i need to practice so I will otherwise my already bad social skills will only get worse . Also I’m not going to expect much/anything when meeting (these) new people bc i know my skill level so I cant overestimate connection w/ people I’ll just go and eat

and its ok if they find you weird or boring bc you know that’s what youre giving off. You’re not coming at them with your 100% fully relaxed natural self which if they didnt like you could take personally. Instead youre coming at them with your avoidant, anxious, shy, quiet self which is only one facet of you. if they dont like that its understandable, you dont even like living it

reasonable expectations only

i’m tired, at 4.30 i’ll go to the pharmacy

--

this is why my depression isn’t really going anywhere it’s almost entirely situational + linked to avpd n social anxiety so those things are always going to be a trigger for me and often because i cant avoid some interactions + isolating will make everything worse in the long run. so i’m always going to be depressed and suicidal in relation to that, not that meds do nothings for me but i really cannot tell what is contributing to my ‘better’ days

--

[this is the funniest bit]

im really dying out here the careers/exam talk didnt help either also can it be cold again its too hot, im really out here being alone and having a heart attack, this is life huh? a dog would love me

my head, my life :(

--

I had so many plans for today

work and errands important things

but im sad and anxious and hurting

i cannot concentrate for the life of me I want to wither away- I want to sleep i cant take it but i guess this is balance because yesterday I was numb af

I actually truly genuinely feel like the only person in the world without friends that doesnt feel normal Katie. its hard when this is all you’re surrounded by

my head hurts :( I wish having no friends was normal. i feel like i cant relate to anyone and just have a uniquely shitty experience of life. I’m just stuck here in this place in this life endless torment and pain im sick of it really sick IM ILL. i remember D saying it was sad i wasnt friends with the black ppl on my course & asking who i was friends with. i mean i think i dodged it but like i have no friends is that not clear? i really think its unfathomable to people that someone can have zero friends bc they havent experienced it bt yeah not one, i literally sit alone

its weird how its ‘brave’ of me to exist, as a loner as a black gay mentally ill muslim woman l m a o like how tragic I literally have everything working against me and not even perspective wise like..systematically. society doesnt want me to exist  anyway im really gonna die in this bitch my whole life sucks I need a big cry i think I’ll do that in the SU toilets

=> big cry in SU toilets its in the schedule now

[ohgygia]

been reading a lot of klance fics lately so i thought i’d share it w you guys!! here’s 14 of them and definitely my favorites. comes with the title (duh), description, a review by yours truly, and link to the fic. the writers of said fics also have some gorg other masterpieces so be sure to check those out!

1. ) Smile for the Stars by maIikcutie

description

Though he's been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn't sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company. The universe is cruel.

review

amazing a+++ fic but i strongly advise not to read this unless you are willing to live the rest of your life broken hearted and Sad. i promise ur heart will be wrecked but in the best way possible!!! a buncha artists on tumblr made art for this so be sure to check those out & also there’s a epilogue-ish thing for this that dulls the pain a lil less and its called The Stars Smile Back in case yall were interested

2. ) Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe

description:

"Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?” Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right? “Alright, it’s a deal.” Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance's 'fake boyfriend'.

review:

if u love slow burn then BOY ur gonna love this !!!! mama lance is so warm i luv her !!! fake dating aka one of my fav tropes so 11/10 and i just rly love this ok im in tears

3. ) call me, beep me by safra

description:

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose? (00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake? (00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it? (00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy... (00:33) Cause, you know, her threes couldvery easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones? (00:45) What (00:46) The (00:46) Fuck?? (00:47) Oh good, you are awake! where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

review:

i love through-chat fics therefore i am so in love with this!!!!!! your everyday "wrong number" trope but so so so much better!!! cute and happy

4. ) Seasons by fairietailed

description: 

“Do you think we’ll be together, still, by the time we make it home?” Lance is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he says, “That depends. Do you plan on going somewhere?” Keith laughs, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair. “No, I suppose I don’t.”

review:

their relationship is just SO PURE AND SOFT and so well written i'm in luuuv but the open ending will shatter and will most likely rip u apart

5. )  Don't Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

description:

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet idiot continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him...at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith. aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

review:

this is soooooooooo cute and adorable and wow i luv ittttt!!! made me smile so hard it hurts

6. ) He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

description:

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed...and so are the true monsters.

review:

oh my god the buildup may be slow but i promise it's worth it like everything just falls perfectly into place !!! and its so adorable and creative and just wow not ur usual klance fanfic and that just makes it 1000x better and also,,, dragons !!

7. ) Bonding Time by magisterpavus

description:

“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands. Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?” “I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.”

review:

galra keith will always and forever be my fav au so this is a definite fav for me !!! i love the other 3 sequels it comes w too!! and nsfw content too dont even lie ik u guys are thirsty for that

8 .) Just Static by Jessadilla

description:

--Static---- -iro, Hunk, Kei---, nybody? I’m---- -static-- --I’m sorry guys. This is all my-- --static--cc-- ---I found my coordinates. They’re-- -stttcc- -guys. I hear something--- --scccc- -end transmission- Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren't getting through. How did it come to this?

review:

this fic got me sad and crying in the middle of the night )': wont leave u too sad tho the ending is pretty nice

9. ) What a Healing Pod Can't Repair by Remember_Me

description:

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be. -- Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn't be coming for a very long time.

review:

no words. literally no words. this was so painful and just wow the buildup will shatter u i swear )’: also poor bb lance i sob. comes with cool-looking art which makes it a whole lot better

10. ) Seen: 5:29 by SpeedOfSins

description:

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people) Written in text format

review:

will wreck u, beware!! may be short but enough to bring u to tears honestly

11. ) On Thin Ice by Minadora

description:

Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to "work on his footwork". There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater. Enjoy the ride because it's only just started.

review:

the description says it all !!!!! a fic beloved by the vld fandom and gosh whats not to love honestly???? also the whole gang is so happy !!! (sidenote: this is unfinished and its killing me)

12. ) I bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

description:

"So like in 'Step Up'?" Allura shrugs. "Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it's just like in 'Step Up'." The smile that she sends Shiro's way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn't believe in dance camps. - Lance McClain's dancing career begins and ends with Keith. Keith just wants to find out what Lance's deal is.

review:

if u love step up ur gonna LOVE this !!!! i love it so so so so much can i just say and wow keith is so hot ffs

13. ) thunderstruck by xShieru

description:

Lance doesn't pine for anyone ever, Keith's never been to a dance, Hunk tries his best to be supportive, Shiro is very done, and Pidge steals a car.But hey, it could've been worse.

review:

space prom!!!!!!! and cute pining gays!! whats not to love about that?

14. ) In English, Please

description:

Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it's in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very...very wrong.

review:

two words - too. cute. i can't even with this fic

[widykegast]

voltron overwatch headcanons

guess who has too much time on their hands. me.

lance: 

handle: sharpshooter (everyone makes fun of him in match chat befoew a game...little do they know...)

a widowmaker main. full stop

the first time he ran attack widowmaker keith yelled at him. until he Learned

he’s Super good when he takes it seriously.

does not, however, take it very seriously. hes here for fun, more than any of them

unless, of course, they are playing competitive

gets play of the game more than any of them

occasionally plays ana to let hunk play pharah because he is a good friend

will not, under any circumstances, play hanzo. dont ask him why

hunk:

handle: believeit (he played wow when he was young and refuses to change it (mainly because it makes pidge and lance angry))

likes playing pharah the most, but is often forced to play zen or rein (until orisa was dropped) bc hes either solo queueing or playing with his friends who dont know how to team comp

however, it is agreed hes allowed to play her on anubis no matter what and his team backs him up whenever they can because they love him

doesnt like always playing competitive because it stresses him out

“im gay but id date pharah”

pidge

handle: trnsgrlcommi

has the most hours on bastion. swears she isnt a bastion main.

also plays lots of sombra and symmetra and spends those whole games yelling into her mic about how gay she is

actually really good symmetra

gets play of the game most times 2nd to lance. everyone yells whenever it happens

taught matt to play bastion and has regretted it ever since

actually cried when she saw orisa

nearly became an orisa main like. 3 days in

shes got mediocre aim so shes not the Best but she knows when to use shit and basically becomes a permanant tank for like a month. then shes a Usually tank

keith

handle: ripmcr (”youre sure no one will be able to see this pidge?” “postive”)

talks to people like and plays with the attitude of a genji main. can’t aim for shit, so he plays mei. unironically

he left in the middle of the match when hunk said “ice ice meiby”

hunk, laughing so hard he literally cried, also left

also plays reaper and shiro is literally always making fun of him for it. its almost sad.

gets. really stressed when they play like arcade but is Calm during comp. lance is scared

shiro (+ matt)

handle: daddy (hey it sucks but he got $50 off matt for it) 

mercy main

uses his pistol a little too much. not all the time too much. just a little.

solo rezzes keith all the time. his team hates him.

after owning the game for a day: “this is what 400 hours of mercy experience looks like”

also enjoys tracer and mccree

he only started playing mccree to make fun of keiths accent (which he has in this au fuck you) but was actually kinda good? so he kept going at it

enjoys doin shitty impressions. except his junkrat which is Spot On somehow

he never plays junkrat

but he does make keiths life hell rip

plays comp with Matt “Resident Bastion Main” Holt and always pockets him

they never win. 

allura

handle: musregina

the home screen character when she first booted up the game was zarya

she fell in love instantly

matt: dont worry allura ur learnin from the best

allura, with potg and 4 gold medals after her first game: what

actually probably the best one out of all of them

used to play comp with matt and shiro. stopped when her sr reached like 1500

“guys i love you but i placed into fucking platinum bye”

really doesnt play anyone but zarya but she enjoys the Power she feels when she plays roadhog and hooks people and will occasionally play hanzo to fuck with lance

is never friendly. even in skirmish. waving or emoting just gives your enemy another chance to strike. 

keith is also like this

they bond

bonus: the heith arc! because this is My au and i can do whatever the fuck i want! cut for length because i cannot shut up about heith!

scene: two am for hunk and eleven pm for keith. everyone else in the group has gone to bed except for pidge and allura, who are duo queueing comp to gain rank

hunk: haha man im too stressed about this test monday to sleep

keith: i just had like. half a pizza ill probably get nightmares if i sleep 

(”thats a thing?” “matt said so”)

so they queue up for 3v3 just the two of them

hunk, as he always does when team comp ain’t a major issue, picks phara

their third picks symmetra

keith, too busy laughing at hunks jokes (hes Deep in pining hell) doesn’t pick a character, so he ends up with mercy

hunk: oh don’t worry man! just stick with me we got this

keith is related to a mercy main, and he’s played the game enough that he knows what he’s doing. 

mostly 

(”do i pull out the gun now?” “keith, no, im dying please”)

but!! he does well and enjoys the role but only because its hunk hes pocketing. he also likes it a Lot when hunk says “nice job!!” at the end even though they lose

it takes practice, but keith starts getting better as mercy and he has some fun! he doesn’t really like not fighting, but he likes damage boosting and calling the shots badly and hes the best 1v1 mercy hunks ever seen

(he took down a roadhog all by himself)

they lose track of time and they both see the notification that lance is online the next morning and start yelling.

keith starts playing mercy but only with hunk. it goes on for a while.

he gets better. its easier for him because she doesnt require aiming and he likes flying. hes good at managing his flight and hunk,also dee pin pining hell, always commends him on it

and they maybe sorta have more 

1 night they play quick play this way and when pidge checks his career profile the next morning she yells

he doesnt start playing mercy with them tho. its his and hunk’s thing.

until one time, on anubis, they (pidge, lance, hunk, keith, and two randoms) need a second healer

hunk: look, guys, ill just go ze-

keith, picking mercy: fuck you youre playing pharah

so he does, and its down to the wire. they need second point to win

theyve all died

keith, while literally yelling, runs onto the point and gets a 4 man rez

everyone is now yelling

they win

he loses potg to some junk wheel that got 3 people but he doesnt care

hunk: keith omg you have no idea how much my sr needed this i could kiss you right no-

keith, shy and quiet and a bit away from his mic: why dont you?

hunk starts screeching a little bit. lance is crying and shouting his blessings

pidge, way too close to her mic: 3,000 miles of country thats whats stopping him

lance, a hopeless romantic: shut the fuck up your mouth! you weenie gremlin!!

anyway hunk and keith have a real relationship talk later that i dont feel like writing out since this is already sloppy and long as is. theyre dating

everyone is blessed

[onlyjihoons]

boyfriend!jaehyun

ask:  I'm in love with boyfriend!haechan so can you do the same with Jaehyun and/or Mark and/or Ten (depending on how busy you are)? Please 💕 and thanks ❤ -anon friend

omg im so so so thankful you liked my bf!donghyuck au ahhh and i’m really sorry this took so long because it was the chinese new year holidays and i was visiting my friends and family and on top of that, schoolwork has been piling up since the common tests are coming up real soon,, i cri ;-; but my ask box is always open because after my homework is done i usually think of plots for my asks hehe ok im ranting too much 

pls give casper/jeffery lots of luv bc he’s rlly fluffy and i practically say this to everyone in nct but i nearly swerved into his lane at one point ngl

ok shall we start

let’s go

so there was once upon a time

where you moved to america for a period of time bc your parents were posted to work there

and this neighbourhood was super pretty like this:

and like

the neighbour beside ya’ll invited your fam into their house for a break

and they greeted you w loads of snacks:

and turns out they’re koreans being sent to america to work too

and like there was this shy boy hiding behind his mom

“yoonoh! don’t be shy!” you hear his mom nag

“...”

in the end his mom had to drag him

“this is yoonoh, he’s 6 this year”

and she got your mom get all excited like

dRaGgInG you too

“this is Y/N, she’s the same age as yoonoh!”

since that boy was so so shy

shy shy shy

you had to introduce yourself first

“i’m Y/F/N, let’s be friends yoonoh-ya.”

and he just sMiLeS at you

w those cute deep dimples

and you were shookt bc he wasn’t that shy boi anymore wth

then he just drags you upstairs to his room

to show you his Lego collection

and that’s where it all started

fast forward 8 years later

ya’ll were at your friend’s lil birthday party

and by now you guys were neighbours and best friends at the same time

so ya’ll played truth and dare w your friends

ok a lil back track here

there was one fine day when you and jaehyun were playing on the swing

and you noticed how handsome he was

like he was already cute enough

and your hormones whispering to you like

“he’s cute! go get him!”

you nod internally but another part of you stops yourself

“don’t do it you’re gonna risk your friendship”

so you just sigh to yourself and keep that crush on him to yourself

and you vented your feelings into your diary

you brought that diary to school

and left it on your table during recess

your other bestfriend not so innocently peeks into your sacred diary

bc she saw you acting more girly around jaehyun

and boom

she knew

so she told the whole class about it

except you and jaehyun

she also knows about jaehyun’s crush on you

thanks to his trustworthy friends

and she planned all of this on purpose

ok back to the party

when the pen pointed between you and jaehyun

ya’ll picked dare bc yolo

but

your friends dared ya’ll 7 minutes in heaven

they locked ya’ll in this attic

which was pretty cosy tbh

sat face to face w each other

and your defence mechanism kicks in

“more like 7 minutes in hell,” you scoffed

little did you know that you hurt poor woojae’s feelings

and his face turns serious like

“Y/N,”

“what”

“can i tell you something?”

“yeah sure”

“promise not to tell anyone”

“we’re best friends, yoonoh-yah.”

then he snapped at the word best friends

“i really hate it when you say that!”

and you were like whot is happening did i do smth wrong

“i really hate it when you label us as best friends”

then you thought he was being ridiculous

“then what do you want us to be?”

“i want you to be my girlfriend”

oH tHat’s when shit got real

you slowly shifted backwards

like so shookt

your crush actually like you back

your dreams actually came true

and you were like

“don’t try to make me feel better, yoonoh.”

and that’s when he leans in and kisses you

you guys’ first kiss awh

and after a few seconds he leaned his head against yours

“i love you, Y/N.”

and shortly after you hear whispers outside

“have they kissed yet?”

“omg what if they’re having that”

“ew no way!”

you and jaehyun laugh @ your friends bc they being silly

so ya’ll hold hand and prepare to get out when the door opened

and your friends saw ya’ll w hands interlaced

and they swooned omg

“awhhhhhhh!11111!!!!!!”

and cheeky jae:

i shall timeskip or i will faint

now ya’ll are like 18

jaehyun’s a trainee from SM

ngl you were super proud of him

ya’ll lived together while your parents stayed in america

you lived w jaehyun’s parents

and jaehyun ofc

on one condition

no hanky panky and the you know what i mean

you willingly obliged bc you aren’t that kind of person

but jaehyun was

only a tiny bit

bc you were so smol and kyoot

he felt the need to protect you at all costs

partially bc his height towered over u

and he didn’t want to disappoint both of ya’ll parents as well so

one day his parents went out of town to run some errands

and left ya’ll at home

the moment his parents stepped out of the house he pushed you into the store room

and:

i’m am a mark stan i’m a mark stan i’m a mark stan

and you were so shookt like WHAT ARE YOU DOING

you were retaliating but this boy has super human strength

and after a few moments he pulled away and 

“you had no idea how much i wanted to do that”

you slapped his chest and scolded him

“you do know that I live here under one condition right”

“but my parents aren’t home🌚”

“that doesn’t mean you can just-- nevermind”

and you just stormed out of the store room

but inside you were idk a mixed feeling

like your heart bbbeating so fast

yet you’re mad jaehyun broke the rules

jaehyun knows you liked it

lol

you slumped on your shared bed, staring at the ceiling

“babe?”

“go away”

“i know you liked it”

YES I LOVE IT ANNYEONGHAESEYO IOI IMNIDA

you just back faced him and ignored him

and then stupid jaehyun he joins you lying on the bed

“i didn’t know the ceiling was more good looking than me”

“i didn’t know you were such an asshole”

ooOHHH SIKE

jaehyun was dying internally bc damn you were so cute

then jaehyun hugged you from behind

“i’m sorry babe, did i make you mad?”

MAD LIFE MAD LIFE MAD LIFE

you finally turned to face him

“what do you think”

jaehyun resorts to aegyo

bc he knows you’re weak

“woojae is sooo sooooo sorryyyyy”

and you forgave him

you guys went on dates

like food dates

at home lololol

because why eat out when you have a masterchef at home

so instead ya’ll went on a grocery shopping date most of the time

jaehyun carrying you and plopping you into the trolley

people were staring at ya’ll overgrown kids

you screaming as jae pushes you at 100000km/h

the security nearly kicked ya’ll out

when jaehyun cooks you always hug him from behind

and he nearly burned down the kitchen bc you distract him

and him always sneaking those pieces of meat and feeding you before the dish is even done

and the end product was only left w 4 pieces of meat

when nct u was about to debut jaehyun had late practices

and he had lesser time w u

you were a little sad tbh

but you know his career is more important

esp if his company finds out he’s dating

that wouldn’t be a good thing

cough

and there was one day jaehyun didn’t return home

at least jae could drop a message that he was not coming home or smth

but he didn’t so you were riled up about that

you texted jaehyun a million times but he’s only read them

you were so annoyed at jaehyun ngl

then you received a text from taeyong

“we’re having our showcase tomorrow, jae really needs your support”

you were rolling your eyes and typed a haste reply

“what support? he doesn’t come home or drop me a message”

“i’ll have backstage passes for you and his parents, i’ll send you the link”

you made a mental note to yourself to attend it nonetheless

“did jaehyun bribe you to do this?”

“... no”

“pls tell him i’m mad @ him ok”

the next day you and his parents attended his debut showcase

and when you saw him perform you were so proud AHHH

you and his mom cried

after the showcase ended you went back stage

and jaehyun shows up with flowers

i couldn’t find jaehyun w flowers so here’s cuddly jae

“i’m sorry i kept you waiting babe, happy anniversary”

and then he pecks your lips right on the spot

the nct members were shookt

what jaehyun...why...

cue your cheeks flushing red

and jaehyun giggling cause u cute awh and hugging you

ok i shall end here

thank you for requesting omg

pls show jaehyun lots of luv

this is probably not on par w the rest of my boyfriend series

i will re write if its not up to standard,, sorry:(

ok anyway 

have a nice day/night ahead!💘

[kulifefall2019]

College Stressors

Michael Drago

Angelo Bencivenga

Alexa Ghignone

prologue- Being a freshman is not an easy task, the amount of stress that is brought onto a freshman feels unreal. As freshman we know all the ups and downs of being a student and how stressful it can be. The first semester of college is a time when students go through many changes, not only academically, socially, or with extracurriculars and are brought into a whole new world. Students are forced to change so quickly it can cause lots of stress in their life. Stressors in college can come from many different places for many different people. We will be talking about the main causes of stress for students. Whether its from sports, academics, or social life at some point students at Kutztown University will feel stress during their journey. 

Act 1-Being a Student Athlete

by- Angelo Bencivenga

Being a student athlete in college is not as easy as it was in highschool. Here at Kutztown our athletes are incredible and very talented. Most of our Kutztown teams are top ranks in the country of all division two teams. I am a wrestler here at Kutztown and it is very fun but also very stressful. When I first came to kutztown I was so stressed because I didn't know if the team was going to like me. I never ended up doing an official visit with the team so I didn't know how they were going to treat me. This did not help with the stress of coming to college and dealing with the time management of wrestling and classes.  Being a student athlete they have to keep your grade point average above a 2.0 and take 12 credits a semester. Although this is not very difficult and they want to have a higher gpa than 2.0 it just adds a lot of stress on your life. Another thing that is very stressful is study hall that all athletes have to take freshman year. My study hall for wrestling is at 7pm to 9pm on tuesdays and thursdays. I find this very stressful because after practices I am very tired and don’t always have the effort to do homework at that time. It can be helpful some days but most of the time it is more about talking with the other freshman wrestlers than doing work. Another stress is picking classes to work with your practices. Although athletes get early action in picking classes sometimes the teacher that they want to take has a class during your practice and your unable to take that teacher. Early action is very helpful because picking your classes before everyone else creates less stress.  Another freshman on the team Tyler Fisher was interviewed. He talked about how it is very stressful to keep grades up with wrestling because of how tiring it is. Tyler discusses “waking up for classes in the morning are the hardest because your body is so tired from practices that you don’t want to leave your bed but I  have to go and do my work which is very stressful and trying to keep my grades up so that I am able to wrestle.” One thing that Tyler talked about was how joining a sports team allows them to have built in friends. He explains “coming into college was very stressful trying to find friends but every weekend we all hang out together now and do team bonding things, I feel like they are my brothers and they always have my back.” This is one thing that is very hard to find coming into college. It’s a stress that everyone has not being able to find friends. Especially with the wrestling team since I am on it, I can say that they are my friends and it was stressful in the beginning but becoming to know everyone it got easier and stress free. 

Act 2- The stressors of college academics 

By Mike Drago

College can be one of the most stressful times in a person's life and its likely Students will realize this when they start classes at Kutztown University. One of the main causes of stress in college is academics. Academic stress can come from many sides of a students academics at Kutztown. Whether it's writing an essay, studying, or finals it's almost impossible to get away from stress. Coming from high school and moving into college is a big step in a students academic careers and it can take time to acclimate to their new workload. Many students including myself find that even though they have all this new found freedom it comes with lots of work in and out of the classroom.

After talking to Brian Bush, a close friend and classmate in Kutztown University I was shown many different types of academic stress that differ in some ways to the stress I feel in my everyday life during my first semester. Brian said that “I get very stressed over the amount of assignments im assigned over the week.” Many students find that acclimating to their new workload can be very stressful and have a hard time finding ways to overcome their new problems causing them to have extreme stress. Brian also felt “Professors don't give us enough guidance on assignments.” When a student moves on to college they may realize that even their work is more dependent and the student is given more creative freedom. This freedom can be more stressful for students. Students  may feel they aren't being guided enough by their professors and in turn, overthink and stress over simple assignments.

Another stressor is students setting a good base for their GPA. Setting this strong base for a student's GPA is super important for them their first semester. This is so important to them because it can dictate the rest of their academic career. This is why students will stress over setting up this strong base so much in their first semester. Setting up this base goes hand in hand with another stressor, time management. Time management can be very intimidating and stressful to first year students because as their work piles up they will have trouble juggling thing like sleeping, studying, and social life. If a student can't figure out time management quickly they won't get a good base for their GPA that they need and will continue stressing over academics.

Act 3- Social stressors

By- Alexa Ghignone

Coming to college all students have to go through many obstacles; one of them being the stress of finding new friends, going outside your comfort zone, and knowing when your social time is and when your study time is. For me, dealing with change is very hard. I went to highschool with kids I grew up with, so it didn’t take much to get adjusted to. Going from highschool to college is definitely a harder adjustment. I truly think each year of college requires more out of people, which forces yourself outside of your comfort zone. Today I interviewed my friend Brenna Clark. She is a sophomore here at Kutztown University. Brenna is now part of Zeta Tau Alpha, a sorority here at Kutztown. Brenna said it has been hard for her to make friends. She said “since I’ve been in college I have a lot of anxiety regarding social situations especially when trying to branch out and make new friends.” This is extremely common for so many individuals at college especially if you are a shy person to begin with.

Brenna also stated that she constantly have a fear of being judged and not liked by other people “I may not have the same interests and hobbies as them which can be hard in college, trying to meet new people and be open minded but always comparing people you meet here to your friends at home and just feeling like everything in your world is completely different.” 

“This also causes me to have a lot of social anxiety because I feel as if I say the wrong thing or make a decision that others may not agree with that I will be isolated and struggle to meet new people.”

[thyfoulart]

July 30, 2017 @ 1040 AM

You know, I used to be on Tumblr a lot, like, all of the fucking time. I lived on here and i thought it was a good place to get some attention. Obviously, I never did. One thing I’ve been learning is that the things you do shouldn’t be for attention. Doing what you like should be your purpose. Now, here is where I’m stuck. What the fuck do I like to do?? Hmm, I don’t know. This a great way for me to reflect. This is like my meditation. Being able to put thoughts down makes me actually process my thoughts more and remember what im thinking of. Most of the time. Now, seriously, what do I like to do? What are my goals? 

1. I like to go hiking. - Why? Well, when I go hiking, i feel the fresh outdoors. It’s quiet, and relaxing. I get time to think and get away from the world. My son is entertained. If he’s not wanting me to pick him up, then he’s walking or running and checking things out. Plus, it tires him out. Which means that he should go to sleep earlier. This is what I should do more often. Get outside.

2. I like dancing. - Why? I feel fun and alive. Being able to be good at it gives me confidence. Being complimented on it, brightens me up. Knowing that I can do something, other people can’t always do, makes me feel amazing. And, it’s such a fun thing to do with other people. You hype each other up. It can also be romantic. Dancing together in sync. Performing as one. Being close to each other. Unless, we get to the freak dancing, the grinding and stuff. I still find it fun, and well its sexual and I really like sex sooooo... yeah. Anyways, I should practice dancing more.

3. I like working out. - Why? Well, it sucks balls to put up heavy weight. It sucks to not be able to push as much as you want sometimes. But, I like the results. I’ve seen the results before. I know I can do it and push really hard. It makes me look good, it makes me stronger, it makes me more attractive, and i get in better connection with myself. I’m learning how to strengthen not just my body, but my mind.

4. I like spending time with my son. - Why? Well, he’s my son. He gives me life. He gives me purpose. He’s funny. He’s such a beautiful baby boy, and he’s mine. Even as a baby, where we know sometimes they don’t put us in the best of moods because of everything else going on in our lives, at the end of the day, we love them. They’re innocent. They’re trying. They want to do as much as they can and have as much as they can, just like us. It’s a wonderful learning experience.

5. I like being alone. - Why? I am left without outside worry. How? Well, if I’m alone. I don’t have to worry about being affected by things that I feel like I can’t get rid of. I don’t like having too close of ties because most of the time i’m just by myself. The only one I keep around is my son. I’ve been really judgmental, and easily affected lately. Since, me and my ex split, I never wanted to come in conflict with things. Not having to worry, and not putting myself out in comfortable positions is valuable to me. That could also be a problem. I’m cutting myself off from opportunities, based on the chance that I might not like what happens. So, this needs to be reevaluated.

6. I like to read. - Why? It teaches me so many things that I didn’t know. It let’s me get in touch with other peoples’ lives. It helps me connect and understand myself. I’m not the greatest with reaching out to people, especially people who are so huge in the world and are trying to have their own personal lives, but can’t. Either way, reading has helped me reach parts of these peoples’ lives that I never thought possible. It’s like asking for information without trying to pry it out of them or hunting them down. 

7. I like talking to people. - Why? It makes me feel normal. I wasn’t the greatest at talking to strangers as I was growing up. I was always shy. I was scared of being judged or being looked at in any strange unacceptable way. I also had no confidence in myself. I had no self esteem. I think it’s because my thoughts were always put down because they didnt follow the norm. They didnt follow the standards. That was coming from anywhere in my family. That’s where I remember it most. I still recently remember it coming mostly from my brother, someone who I don’t constantly remember having around. I never trusted him. I was never able to actually make mistakes in life. I couldn’t make the mistakes that were going to build my character. Also, my dad. I was afraid of him and what he would think. Of course, we’re worried about our parents putting us down because we love them the most but they’ll judge us the most. Their words and thoughts were drilled into my head, so I’d go into the mirror and I’d tell myself that same shit before I heard come out of their mouths. Now, the really sad part. My mom. My mom always wanted to lift me up with any of my ideas, but she would love to omit the truth of her opinion, where she would tell me how wrong or dumb it might have been. It’s that same way how your mom plays super nice to your girlfriend, but once you break up, she’s talking all this shit saying she knew the whole time... remember that? yeah, so I stopped asking my mom for advice on my dreams and ideas because in all honesty, my mom didn’t pursue her dreams, even now. She’s also pretty indecisive. So, there’s my jackass brother who tries to make everyone like him or be right all of the time. Then, my scary dad who was hard to figure out, but i never wanted to disappoint, but also didnt give me the time and support I needed, and recently told me to do what I love as a life career. Lastly, my indecisive mom, who couldn’t teach me to make my own decisions. Those all ruined me socially. I wasn’t confident, i was scared, and indecisive. How the fuck do you socialize with that personality?

8. fuck, after all that ^? i guess... i like to learn about myself. i like to run my mouth. i like to reflect. i like to talk about me, and i like to have the attention on me. honest fucking truth. - why? well, it makes me feel fucking good. knowing more about me, let’s me make changes. the things that make me feel wrong, or stupid, or that are flawed, or even unacceptable in my own eyes, should be known to me. i could go through my whole life being ignorant about my own problems. there could be roadblocks keeping me from having a better life. people might not even tell me about it. so, yes, i love to talk about me. i love to talk about other people, but i love to let them know about me too. it’s not just all about me like im bragging. its about hey this is who i am, how can we collab? that’s really it. tell me where i can improve. tell me what you notice about me. tell me what i seem to obsess over. tell me more. help me improve. 

9. look, this is it for this post... Lastly, I like to love. i love to love. - why? because it fucking feels good. I miss loving. i used to throw my heart out there. but ive ended up in turmoil. i dont know why things got so bad. and then i also looked at them, thinking, maybe i couldve done way better. maybe i couldve had higher standards or more confidence. my mind takes charge these days because my heart wasn’t smart. but when i loved and i was in love, man i was so happy. i could just let go and be vulnerable. i could be free. i felt freedom when i loved. i loved knowing that this one person was there for me. i loved having someone who had to listen to my bullshit, until i realized that they didnt care all that much... but i had someone around you know? that felt good. now, i just got my son. and it feels good to love him. i just can’t really talk with him or get any feedback. i feel like im just monitoring him half of the time and trying to learn about him. i just wanna be in his position haha. love feels good. especially with all of the cute things. they’ll bright your world up and make you do great things. it just sucked when it flipped around and you performed like shit in everything else. i just dont want to feel like im guarding myself all of the time anymore. i just want to be free. love gave me that.

(this post concluded @ 1050 PM)