#like it’s wild because I even am like. yeah I don’t know if Israel should participate in fucking Eurovision this year but

[sopranoentravesti]

Man it’s really fun when goyim just cannot cannot resist letting rightful criticism of Israel descend into the whole “Jews control the media.”

Take it from someone who has bitched about Hasbara for longer than you’ve known what it was. Please stop saying shit about “Israel’s PR Army.”

[borathae]

it’s the fact you have this platform with lots of followers and don’t use it to advocate for the right things

If you are the lil bitch fucker that keeps spamming me with "israel vs palestine" ANON messages, get off the fucking internet and get a fucking life.

Anyone with a fucking brain between their skull should know what I think about this very serious fucking topic and the fact that you make it into a little internet trend by going "hihi israel or palestine? pick one hihi" says way more about your fucking character than mine. You're fucking pathetic for sending in mutlitple asks like that just because you think it's cool to "jump onto the trend". Just because it's currently "trendy" on social media to pick sides, doesn't mean it's fucking okay to make it a thing. IT IS NOT! As if war and genocide is ever something you should make into a "lil social media trend", it's fucking disgusting how y'all are so chronically online these days that you don't even use your rotten brains for just one second to think "hey maybe I shouldn' t actually make it into a trend and go around saying hihi which side to pick to any stranger on the internet". Seriously fucking get a fucking grip on reality you bitch ass. There's actual people losing their homes and lives in Palestine right now, you assface, they're not just props in your newest "internet trend poll".

I don't "advocate" about the "right things" on this fucking blog because it's literally not that kind of blog. It's a blog where you can come to escape reality. You can fangirl/boy/enby, you can read and look at fanart, talk about bangtan and their music and you can FUCKING ESCAPE REALITY. It has never been a political/worldnews kind of blog because there are a lot better blogs out there for that. Blogs run by people who want to make it possible that people keep up to date with everything happening in the world, people who have politics as their passion and who will have a way broader vocabulary on the topic than I ever will.

Having followers no matter how many doesn't mean you automatically have to speak up about everything happening in the world just so lil bitch strangers like you can sleep better at night. I will not goddamn fucking perform my activism as if I'm a lil circus clown just to get off lil bitches like you. I'll donate as much as can, I'll try to keep up with the news as best as possible and I'll send prayers to everyone suffering and I'll do it not because I want to look better on the internet but because I actually fucking care about the people. And yes something like this is possible. You can actually care about world topics and partake in helping the innocent people in need without boasting about it on the internet. Yeah what a fucking wild take, but's it's actually fucking possible.

And now for the last fucking time so that even rotten brained bitches like you understand it, I generally don't tend to speak up about political or worldnews matters on here because this blog is a possibility for anyone who wants to escape the burdening realities for a little while.

If you would have come here actually wanting to seriously talk about this topic or asked me to give you guys options on how to help the people of Palestine, I would have fucking loved to do so. But instead you come here on anon like a lil coward bitch and try to make it into a "hihi funny internet trend hihi pick sides hihi funny". You're fucking disgusting and there is a reason why I've ignored you until now.

Now for anyone who actually wants to help and do something that will actually help the Palestines, I'll give you a list of organisations you can donate to. Make sure to see if you can donate from your country, I picked out the European sites of the organisations.

MAP

Islamic Relief

Save the Children

UN -> it will contain a list of more donation options

I am sure that there so many more organisations you can donate to, but I picked out the ones which I personally think trustworthy and to which I've also donated without any problems (please educate me if one of them is a scam and I haven't heard about it yet). Also feel free to leave more links in the comments, so there will be an array of possibilities for anyone who wants to help.

[dailyaudiobible]

08/24/2021 DAB Transcript

Job 12:1-15:35, 1 Corinthians 15:29-58, Psalms 39:1-13, Proverbs 21:30-31

Today is the 24th day of August welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is great to be here with you today as we come together and take the next step forward through the Scriptures through this month and through this year through our lives. We are obviously in the book of Job right now, making our way through. Things have started to get heated up in the conversation between Job and his friends. He’s been very much pouring out his heart and saying how he feels and confessing that he's confused and frustrated and in pain and anguish and depressed. His friends have tried to comfort him, but he's kinda stickin’ to his story. And the thing that he believes, you know, is making him so depressed and it’s not only the tragedy that he's experienced, but why, right, why is God judging him, which is what he believes, that what has happened to him has happened at God's hand and he doesn't know why and he would like to be told. Like he would like an audience with God to be told. Of course, his friends are like, you know, you did something wrong and you need to humble yourself. And when he won't listen to that that's kinda what's got them upset at him. And, so, we continue today with Job 12 through 15.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the book of Job, we should be seeing kind of where the rub is, or where the tension is. He's not like…Job's fighting with his friends who had come to comfort him. And they are trying to comfort him, but they have…they are at an impasse of their understanding. Job believes God is righteous, just, true, merciful, good, holy, all of these things. And, so, do his friends. They all leave this about God. So, where they have divergent paths is why this is happening to Job. Job believes he is innocent and doesn't deserve this suffering. He is confused. So, he believes in a righteous and just God, but he also in himself believes that he has been honorable and righteous before God. And, so, that this perceived judgment from God is unwarranted and he would like answers. His friends also believe God is righteous and just and cannot find an equation, right, some kind of formula that would work for God to be harsh upon Job if he didn't deserve it. So, in a matter of speaking, we have human beings arguing about God's justice. Imagine that. So, Job's friends don't really have a grid for impartiality, which is one of the things that Job is complaining about and he knows it. He knows like he's the only one that thinks he's innocent and no one else is an advocate, like nobody else is there. And his friends they...they don't have a grid for God to be doing what Job is claiming and they have no way to just be impartial and go, well, let's argue this out then because their sense of God's justice is deeply, deeply ingrained, just as deeply as it is and to Job. And, so, they have to defend God. And Job even knows that if he could get an audience with God what would…what will he say? Like he's got his case prepared, but God's wisdom and might and power, like so far beyond any human capability. What's he gonna say? Everything he says is gonna to get rebutted and he knows all this, and he feels like, although his friends are trying to argue this out and convince him that they don't know anything that he doesn't know, they’re human beings just like he is. They may be wise but he's wise too and respected too. And that brings us to one of the most, for me, riveting passages of Scripture. There are a couple of them in Job that just make you step back and go what...what kind of posture of heart…like how do you get…how do you get that level of trust? Because Job is saying one way or the other I need to see God. God has the answers. Nobody else has the answers. I’ve got to find God, but I don't know where and I don't know what it would be like if I do. And, so, Job says, “even if he slays me still I will hope in him.” Or quoting from the translation that we’re reading from this week, “God might kill me, but I have no other hope.” He’s saying even if finding God proves hopeless I will still hope in God. And this is one of the keys to the territory that we are in, and what the book of Job is dealing with. What if we can't get the answer were looking for? Where will we put our hope?

Prayer:

Father…Holy Spirit come into that. That…this is very, very deep within us. This is core stuff down deep within us because so often it is our lack of knowledge or understanding that sends us off on some kind of wild chase that leads us nowhere but a big circle. And we suffer so much more than we have to. Our hope is in You and we can declare this and we do declare this. Even if we’re for declaring it in faith our hope is in You because there is no other hope. And yet there are plenty of times that we find confusion and uncertainty. And in the book of Job, we see a person who has been stripped down to nothing, a person who has lost everything that can be lost and would find death as to be a relief. That’s about as far stripped away as a human being can get. And yet we see in Job, even though he's stripped to bedrock he still has hope in You, even if there is no hope. Help us to ponder that, meditate upon that, consider that, till that into the soil of our hearts. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

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If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible as we navigate the summertime thank you. Thank you, humbly and gratefully for your partnership. If this mission to keep doing what we’re doing, which is to show up every day and offer the scriptures read fresh to anyone who will listen anywhere on this planet any time of day or night and because it's a rhythm, it's a daily thing. We show up for every day to build community around the rhythm, which is what makes us this Global Campfire community. If that has made a difference in your life than thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you're using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Family just come together with me as I pray for our brothers and sisters in Afghanistan. I'm reminded of the time I was in Israel with DAB a couple years ago. We were up on the Golan Heights and Brian shared how the brothers and sisters in Syria said they just felt forgotten sometimes and asked for prayer. And we are hearing of the deliverance of the Jews through Esther right now and there's no coincidence with God. It's for such a time as this. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. And just a couple days ago Brian read psalms 35 and that is my declaration, my decree that I am praying over the people of Afghanistan. My brothers and sisters there, the innocent there. And just agree with me. Father God oppose those who oppose them Lord and fight for those that fight against them Lord. Take Your shield and Your armor and come to their rescue. Lift up Your spear into war axe against those that pursue them and promise that You will save them. May those who try to kill them be defeated and disgraced in the name of Jesus. May those who plot against them be turned back and confused. May they be like the straw blown by the wind as the Angel of the Lord pursues them and may their path be dark and slippery while the Angel of the Lord strikes them down. Because without any reason they have laid a trap. But God I will say I am glad because of the Lord. I am happy because You have saved them. If their hearts will not turn to You Father God then just destroy them but rescue Your children in Jesus…

Dear DAB family this is Russell from superior. I'm just feeling sad about everybody that's left behind in Afghanistan. You know, a lot of these people feel like they're in a holy war. I don't know. But, you know, they're talking about Christians that are left behind over there, behind enemy lines and, you know, why they're going to do what they do. I just would like to remind us all we need to be praying, you know, and using the only weapon that we have, the power of prayer. I know we all are strong in this prayer, and I've seen a lot of miracles happen with this prayer group. So, just if everybody could join me in a prayer. Dear heavenly Father God please protect those that are there, those that are willing to die for Your name. Please, you know, protect them, please watch over them, you know. It's sad, You're the only true God and these people are dying for nothing. Please protect those ones that You can dear heavenly Father. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Hey siblings it's your little sis His Little Cherri in Canada. And I'm show glad we're reading the story of Esther in the Old Testament. And I'm seeing something different in it that I've ever seen before because I'm in a different place then I've ever been before. Esther strikes me as someone who is quite shy and hesitant, at least that's how she comes across in the story. And when Mordecai asks her to go before the king she doesn't want to. And of course, no one would. Anyone would be freaked out. But I just I just see her as being like me. I am not a __ flamboyant person. I mean I have been at times in the past when I was passionate and on stage and on the ministry teams and blah blah blah. But since my health issues I'm in a very slow quiet place. A lot of my flamboyant friends have faded into the word work because I can't keep up with them and most of my close friends now have health problems like I do. And, so, I find myself and the company of the afflicted and it's a very different place to be. And yet it's a good place, it's such a good place to be. And the story of Esther just encourages me because I see that God used her in a powerful way even though she…she was hesitant. And, you know, she kept inviting king and Mordecai to dinner after dinner before she got around to the point. And if she'd done it any other way, I don't think it would have worked out as well. So, I'm so encouraged that God can use me exactly where I am.

Greetings and salutations thanks and praise to the most-high this is Tim Pickle here from the corn state. If you could please be praying for my wife Bailey. Our baby is due October 6th woo. But my wife suffers from high blood pressure so they're talking about even taking the baby out before 37 weeks. So, if you could please be praying for just peace and God's hand to be over the situation and everything turns out the way that He wants it to be. Amen. Thank you all very much. I hope you have a…

Hello DAB my name is people on the water and I'm from Indiana calling in for a young man named Jonathan. It's crazy for me to call him a young man because he's two years older than me but I'm still assuming that 18 and 20 is still a young man. Either way, Jonathan as I was hearing your call even before you said pornography or lust that's what I was thinking about. And you came in, you just said you feel disgusting. Although you are new here, I don't know if it was a week or a month that you've been a part of the DAB but I'm glad you're here man. I'm glad you're here brother. I don't have the words to encourage you right now, honestly but I just I…I lift you up in the name of the Holy Spirit. As someone on the 14th said, it's as simple as just trusting God. And I pray that you see that simplicity through your trials and through your temptations, that you might submit yourself therefore to God and watch the devil flee because it is a free and it is a possible thing. Man, thank you for sharing. Love you DAB. In Jesus’ name I pray and I ask. Make it a great day. Amen.

Hello DABber family this is the Burning Bush that will not be devoured for the glory of our God and king. Today is Friday and I just heard a prayer request from one of our DABber kids and it sounded like we were praying for grandma who has multiple myeloma and praying for grandma to have energy to play with them in the pool. And that just put a big smile on my face. I am definitely praying for you dear. I am praying for your grandma. I'm praying that God will supernaturally heal her. I pray that she will have so much energy that she will have so much fun with you in the pool. I even pray for extra energy for her to do more stuff with you, play with you, run with you, whatever it is you need grandma to do. I am definitely praying for you. And I know that God heard your prayer even before I called. And I believe that He sent angels, that He released angels in heaven to execute to your request because He loves you so much. This just made my day. It's exciting to know that we have kids listening. I have a 14-year-old now who came to me a couple days ago and said to me, mum can listen to DAB before I go to bed? And it just made my day because I used to play it for him from his birth. Like all his life I'd play it for him before bedtime. And, so, I'm glad that he's picking it up again. I love you guys. Love all the kids out there. God bless. Bye.

[saturrn-writes]

Fighting For You (TonyxZiva)

A/N: This takes place in the middle of S11E2 “Past, Present, and Future”; Tony has just found Ziva in Israel, they share a tender moment in the olive grove and then things get *spicy*

 I have also posted this fic on AO3. Please do not claim my work as your own. 

Rating: M for smut, fluff, language, slow-ish burn

TW// language, sexual content, arguing, blood (not sexual), mentions of pregnancy

 Word Count: 7244

      Ziva rested her forehead against Tony’s. “I’m fighting for you, Ziva,” he whispered, his voice breaking. She sighed.

      “I know.” She didn’t know what else to say. The tenderness of the moment hung between them like branches around them in the olive grove. She and Tony had been coworkers for years, but there had always been something more between them. The night of the car accident, she had been trying to tell him she loved him. She never had a chance that night, and there never seemed to be a good time. If she said something now, she was afraid of ruining the moment completely, afraid of losing Tony forever. Deep down, she was more afraid of what might happen if she let herself be too vulnerable with him, what would happen if he loved her back. 

      “Ziva,” Tony repeated, his voice barely audible. He felt frozen in time, like he was standing on the edge of a cliff and one false move would send him plummeting to the bottom of the ravine below. He had fallen hard for the Israeli beauty, but he was never quite sure how she felt about him. After the NCIS attack and their trip to Berlin the two had grown closer, but the amount of unspoken tension between them was confusing. He loved her, wanted to tell her, but he was also incredibly physically attracted to her and wasn’t sure if it was truly more than that. Spending time with her in close quarters made him jumpy, desperate to touch her. Her fighting, dominant nature turned him on, but in this moment he wanted to take things slow and gentle. He had told her she wasn’t alone, and he needed her to understand that he meant it. 

      “Tony.” That one word was heavy with emotion, longing, tinged with a sharp sensuality that made his heart flutter and his pulse start racing. He had been shot at, kidnapped, and tortured during his tenure as an agent but this was the most afraid he had ever been. That maybe she felt the same way, wanted him the same way. Ziva reached a hand up to his cheek, thumbing the short beard he had grown in since Cairo. Her eyes caught his in an intense stare and he tried not to blink, scared the moment would be over or that it was all his imagination. 

      Ziva watched his eyes, watched him swallow in anticipation. She had never been afraid of anything, but this was different. This could change everything, and she didn’t know if it would be for better or for worse. She took a breath to steady herself, then swiftly closed the distance between them. 

 His beard was scratchy on her face, but his lips were soft, firm against her own. He grabbed her face in his hands, not wanting to let her go. Her arms wrapped around him, pulling him toward her, kissing him with an unbridled hunger that lit his blood on fire. He shifted his hands to wrap them in her wild hair and she moaned softly into the kiss. The sound spurred him on, biting at her lower lip. Not one to back down from any kind of fight, Ziva bit back, running her tongue along Tony’s lip with a smile as he opened his mouth in surprise. His hands began to wander under the hem of her shirt, desperate for closer contact. Ziva finally pulled back, leaving her hands at the back of his neck. 

 “That was…” she trailed off. 

 “Yeah. Um.” Tony let go off her shirt. “I’m sorry.”

 “No, I am sorry. I should not have done that.” Reluctantly, she let him go. “I know we no longer work together, but we should not be doing this. Not here, not now.” She sighed. “Everything is upside down and sideways.”

 “It’s upside down and backwards, David,” Tony corrected quietly, smiling faintly at the Israeli. “But I know what you mean.” He checked his watch. “Are you hungry? Because I’m starving.” 

 Ziva chuckled. “You have not changed at all, have you?” 

 “Guess not.” 

      They walked back to the house in silence, hands barely touching. The truth was that they had both changed, but it was easier to pretend that they were the same as they had been when they first met. “There is not much food in the house, but we will make do,” Ziva informed him as she shut the front door behind them. She followed him to the kitchen, glancing out of the windows to check their surroundings. “It is all clear. I do not anticipate unwanted company, but if you can find me so can someone else.” She secured her gun back in its holster and shut the curtains at the kitchen window. Light still peaked through, but the olive grove was now a green haze through the white material. Tony was standing in front of the pantry with his arms crossed. 

      “You weren’t kidding when you said you weren’t planning on having company. Any chance we can order a pizza or something?” He turned to face her. She was watching him intently, taking in the strong shape of him. He looked exhausted but happy, and she felt herself relax for the first time in weeks. 

      “No pizza, but there is tomato and cucumber salad in the fridge. There might be some couscous in the pantry still. I need to get more supplies.” 

      “Sit down, I’ll cook.” Tony went back to rifling through the odds and ends in the pantry and cabinets. While Ziva watched from her perch at the table, Tony made the couscous and opened the container of tomato and cucumber salad. “It’s not much, but it’s a meal,” he said finally, placing a bowl in front of Ziva and setting one at the place across from her. 

      “Thank you, Tony.” She poked at the couscous with a fork. “I know that I told you coming here was a mistake, but I am glad you did.” 

      “I meant what I said at the airport before. You are not alone. I’ve always been here for you. I know we’ve had our moments and I know that it’s hard for you to trust anyone, but I’ll always be here for you no matter what. I promise.”

      “I know,” she replied, not quite meeting his eyes. “And I believe you. But there are still so many pieces I must put back together. I buried my father months ago, but I feel as though I am still burying him. I do not know if there are still people after me, and I am tired of running.” 

      Tony reached his hand across the table and took hers, tracing his thumb over her knuckles. “You don’t have to run anymore. You don’t have to keep hiding and looking over your shoulder. You can breathe easy, Ziva, at least for now.” 

      She let out a shaky breath, finally meeting Tony’s eyes. “What about Gibbs?”

      “I feel bad for lying to him, but I understand why you didn’t want me to tell him I found you yet. You’ll have to talk to him eventually, though.” 

      “Perhaps.” 

      They ate their meal in silence, listening to the sounds of nature filtering through the windows. It was peaceful here, and part of Tony wanted to hide out here with Ziva forever. Just the two of them, making up for every missed moment they could have shared over the years. 

      “I forgot about the wine,” Ziva said finally, pushing up from the table and gathering the dishes. “Would you like some?”

    “Uh, sure.” Tony got up too, running water in the sink and reaching for a sponge while she poured two glasses of red wine. “You got any movies out here in the Israel boonies?” Tony asked as he took one of the glasses from Ziva.

      “No, sorry. We do not even have a T.V.” She sipped her wine, leaning one hip against the counter and watching Tony over the rim of her glass. Tony grinned at her in that way he had, the same smile he gave whenever he was giving McGee a smartass answer. “What is so funny, Tony?”

    “I was going to suggest a movie, but I hear strip poker is still a popular pastime.” Ziva rolled her eyes.

      “I was not aware that this was a frat house.” She was trying to read his expression, gauge whether or not he was doing his usual casual flirting or if this was a hint at wanting to continue what they had started in the olive grove earlier. It was hard to tell, but she didn’t want to ruin anything by asking about it outright.

      Tony finished his wine, set the empty glass on the counter, and crossed his arms. The joking smirk was still half on his lips. “I wonder if Adam likes strip poker,” he mused, and Ziva glared at him.

      “What?” she demanded, crossing her arms and clutching her glass in one hand. Her eyes were shooting daggers at him, but the intensity of her gaze sent a shiver down his spine.

      “Your little, uh. Friend with benefits. Adam.” Tony took a step forward towards her. She held her ground and kept her gaze locked on his, her eyes narrowing.

      “As I have already explained to you, it was one time. A moment of weakness.” Her voice was firm, but he heard a tinge of something at the edge. Regret or guilt, maybe, but that could have been his imagination. Her eyes scanned his face, and then the edges of her lips curled up into a mysterious smile. “Are you jealous, Tony?”

      He almost said yes, but he kept it to himself. Instead, he shrugged. “Just confused. I was serious about what I told you at the airport before. I guess I wasn’t sure why you would turn to him when NCIS has been your family all these years.”

      She sighed, her shoulders sagging a little in defeat. “I do not know, Tony. He was here, and you were not. We did not really talk about it before or after, it just happened and that was the end of it. We are all adults, so I do not understand why you are so insistent about this.”

      “I don’t know, Ziva, I guess I thought that after the attack on NCIS and everything that something had changed between us.” His voice raised as he continued, starting to pace the small kitchen as he talked. “There’s so much back and forth, and I feel like we’re constantly walking this fine line between friends and something more. I know you have a hard time trusting people and I know that you’ve been hurt before, but I really though that maybe something would be different. CI-Ray was a murderer, but you almost married him for fuck’s sake. I was always there for you, but whenever you need me you pull away. I don’t get you, Ziva! I’ve been trying since the day I met you but I don’t understand you at all. Every time I think I do, you go sleep with Adam or you go rogue, and I can’t keep doing this.”

    “How dare you bring Ray into this!” She was almost shouting, her tone matching his. “That was not about you! That is your problem, Tony. Everything has to be about you. Are you really that selfish?” She slammed her glass down on the counter and it shattered, shards flying and the last remnants of merlot trickling over the lip of the counter and onto the floor. Neither she nor Tony paid it any attention. “I devoted my life to Mossad and then to NCIS, to my father and then to Gibbs. Work has always been my focus and my priority, and everything else has been secondary. It is easier that way. You killed Michael, and I know you had your reasons, but I am sure that if you thought about it from my point of view for a second you can understand why that was traumatic. How was I supposed to know that Ray was a bad man? It is not always black and white, Tony, but you have no concept of nuance.” She took a breath, absently pulling a sliver of glass from the side of her hand before lowering her voice to her normal volume. “We work well together, and I trust you with my life, but that does not mean that something more makes sense or is comfortable for me.”

    “Newsflash, Ziva: life isn’t always comfortable! You of all people should know that. I’m sorry about Michael, and about Ray, and that clearly you have some serious trust issues that you need to deal with. I understand all that. But it feels like you aren’t even trying, and I’m tired of feeling like a yo-yo. You pull me in but push me away again as soon as I get close.” He took another step forward, his pulse racing in his ears. It felt good to finally say all of the things he had been holding back. He didn’t want to hurt Ziva, but he was also tired of having to pretend that she didn’t hurt him right back. Not to mention that her fiery aggression was turning him on again.

    Instead of stepping back she took a step forward, planting her feet and challenging him with her eyes. They were maybe a foot apart, but she wasn’t going to be the one to cave in and close the distance. “You do not have a great race record with women either, Tony. La Grenouille’s daughter, a million one night stands that you cannot even let stay in your apartment. You are a grown man that sleeps in a twin bed, Tony. That is a sign of commitment issues if I have ever seen one.”

    “It’s track record, Ziva.”

    “What?”

    “You said race record. The phrase is track record.”

    “You are insufferable sometimes. Did you know that?”

    “I’ve been told. But you love it.” His tone was challenging but he waited with bated breath for her reply.

    “I do,” she said quietly.

    “What?”

    “I do love you, Tony.” She reached out a hand to touch his chest, pressing her palm flat against his heart.

    “I love you, Ziva David.” He mirrored her gesture, resting his hand against her racing heart. Her skin was warm through the thin fabric of her shirt. They stood like that for a few minutes, neither of them daring to shatter the fragility of the moment. “And I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to be so aggressive. It’s not all your fault.”

    Ziva wrapped her fingers into a fist, pulling Tony to her by his shirt. “Rule number six, Tony. Never say you are sorry.” Her face was inches from his, her eyes daring him to close the distance.

    Tony felt his anger fade into desire as he looked down at Ziva, but his eyes widened in shock when he saw her hand. “You’re bleeding,” he said, taking her hand in his. “Is there a first aid kit around here?”

    “I am fine, Tony. I have endured much worse.” She pulled her hand away, wiping it gently on her pants. He caught her waist with his now empty hand, bringing her closer to him.

After another agonizing minute of heavy eye contact, Tony kissed her again. She tasted like wine and hope, a dizzying combination that Tony savored. The kiss was tender at first, but the gentleness evaporated into desire, need, and hunger. Ziva grappled with Tony’s shirt, desperate to take it off of him as he walked them backwards towards the counter. The small of her back hit the edge of the counter and Tony lifted her onto it with one swift motion, letting her pull him closer to her with her powerful legs. She eased her grip as Tony pulled back to help her with his shirt, but they found each other again quickly, the kiss all teeth and tongue and hands all over. Tony moved to nip at her neck and she moaned something in Hebrew, throwing her head back and dragging her nails over his shoulders.

Tony began impatiently tugging the hem of her shirt upward, dragging his thumbs along her toned torso as she pulled away from him again, raising her arms over her head. Her shirt dropped to the floor as she kicked off her shoes, once again seeking his mouth with hers. She shifted her weight slightly and pushed him back, sliding off the countertop and forcing him back against the wall, her hands planted on either side of him as she dragged her tongue leisurely up his torso. He bit back a moan as she bit into the flesh of his neck, sucking a deep purple hickey into his skin. “Did you think you would have the upper hand this whole time, Tony?” she questioned, her voice thick with lust as she pressed him closer to the wall. Before he had a chance to answer, she moved her hands from beside his head to his belt, her nimble fingers making quick work of the buckle and sliding the leather from its loops. She held it in one hand and leaned close to his ear, her free hand slamming back against the wall. “Since you do not have your handcuffs, I would be more than happy to make do with this,” she hissed, nipping his ear. He couldn’t hold back a moan at her words.

“I don’t even have a smartass comeback to that. That is easily one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard in my life. However, I want full use of my hands tonight.” As he finished his sentence, he dropped his hands to grip her waist and spun them around so she was pinned to the wall, knocking a picture frame sideways as he did. Before Ziva had a chance to react, he grabbed her wrists and held them over her head, leaning down to kiss her clavicle. Her moans sent a shiver down his spine as he kissed down her chest, tugging at the cups of her bra with his teeth impatiently as he reached her breasts.

She broke the hold he had on her wrists with ease and reached behind her to unclasp her bra as he slid the straps down her arms and tossed the garment back toward the kitchen. Agonizingly slowly he traced his fingers over her small, pert nipples as her back arched off of the wall and her hands found purchase in his hair. With a devilish grin he dragged his tongue over one nipple before closing his mouth over it, looking up to see her eyes shut and her mouth fall open in a delirious exhalation of his name. He used one hand to roll her free nipple, his other hand gripping her hip with a possessiveness that he didn’t know he felt towards her. He grazed his teeth over her nipple and she inhaled sharply in response, biting her lip to avoid giving him the satisfaction of another moan. Instead, she pulled his hair and dragged him back up to her mouth again, capturing his lips in a filthy open-mouthed kiss that left them both wanting more.

Tony slid his hands over her body and under her butt, scooping her up and walking slowly down the hall, stopping to press Ziva against the wall a few times and kiss her deeper as she wrapped her legs around him. He stopped again, fumbling with a doorknob behind her and almost falling forward as the door swung open. He flicked on the light, breaking their kiss again and frowning as he was greeted to the sight of a study instead of a bedroom. She extricated herself from him and gave him a playful swat on the chest. “The bedroom is the next one down, Tony, and the door is open.”

“In my defense, I was a little distracted,” he said defensively, glancing around the small room.

“You are not thinking with the right head, yes?” she questioned playfully, hooking her thumb in one of his belt loops and pulling him towards the desk.

“You could say that,” he conceded. Ziva swept a couple of books off the desk and pushed Tony onto it before straddling his lap and resting her knees on either side of his hips. She ran a hand through her hair as she leaned down to leave a trail of kisses over his chest and up his neck, stopping to nip his earlobes again before sliding her hand between them to settle over the bulge in his jeans.

“Someone is excited,” she murmured into his ear, palming him teasingly through the denim fabric. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anyone, but she was trying to maintain her composure as much as possible and not grant him the satisfaction of her caving first.

“Can you blame me, David? I don’t know if you’re aware or not but you’re probably the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. I could be misreading the situation, but it seems like you want to fuck me too so yeah, I would say that I’m excited.” He was speaking quickly, trying to keep a grasp on his sanity as her hand increased pressure and her mouth continued to mark him, claim him as hers. He bit his lip as she popped the button on his jeans and tugged the zipper down. He leaned up, wrapping one arm around her waist and using the other to pull his jeans down and kick them to the floor. “As fun as this is, my back is killing me and you’re wearing too many clothes. Bedroom,” he growled, once again lifting her and walking toward the door, flipping the light off as they reached the hallway.

“Next door on the left,” she muttered against his mouth, trailing one hand along the wall until she hit the doorframe. He turned, pushing her against the doorframe as he pulled at the waistband of her pants. She gripped the doorframe with her hands and arched up away from the wall as he dragged her pants down her muscular legs, letting them fall before pulling her against him again and stumbling into the room. He hit the light switch and then settled his hands under her butt again, running his thumbs under the black lace of her panties before placing her on top of the unmade bed. He stood back to admire her graceful body as she rested on her elbows, waiting for him to join her. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen and red from their vicious kisses. Her gold Star of David necklace shone from the tan skin of her chest and he smirked as he watched the swift rise and fall of her peachlike breasts as she caught her breath. Her stomach was taut, her hips slim but beckoning where they met her legs under the black lace. “I need you, Tony. Please,” she said, her eyes wide as she met his gaze.

“God, you don’t need to tell me twice.” He bent down to remove his boxers and she watched his muscular form appreciatively. He wasn’t excessively muscled, but he was strong, solidly built, a form that she knew from memory after so much time with him. As he straightened up her eyes widened even further. His cock wasn’t abnormally long but it was thick and veiny, and she bit her lip thinking about how he was going to feel inside of her. With a smirk, she hooked her thumbs through the waistband of her panties and dragged them slowly down her legs, letting them drop delicately to the floor beside the bed as Tony watched with obvious enthusiasm. He climbed onto the bed, leaning over her once again with a smile and lust blown eyes. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered as his hands roamed her body, stopping at her hips just inches from where she wanted him the most. He shimmied down to settle himself between her legs, kissing his way up her calf and up to her inner thigh. He stopped when he reached the inside of her right thigh, chuckling to himself. “So this is the tattoo.” It was a small knife, the blade pointing down toward her knee. He kissed it gently.

“Yes, Tony, this is the tattoo,” she said with a sigh, mildly agitated that he had stopped what he was doing. Her skin was on fire from his touch and his mouth and she was tired of waiting. With a low, almost feral growl she flipped them over, pinning him beneath her. Biting her lip, she reached between them to guide him to where she wanted him the most. With a cry of relief and pleasure she sank onto him, letting herself adjust to his size before she opened her eyes to look at him. His mouth was slack, his fingers gripping her hips for dear life as she squeezed around him. She was so tight, warm, and velvety and he knew in that moment two things: he was never going to love anyone else the way he loved Ziva, and he wasn’t going to last very long like this.

“Fuuuuck,” he finally said. “Why the fuck did we wait so long?”

“Shut up Tony,” she replied breathlessly, holding onto his hands as she started to move. She started slowly, rolling her hips against him as he bottomed out inside her, relishing the feeling of him stretching her out. He sat up, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck. The only sounds in the room were their moans and heavy breathing, skin on skin as Ziva maintained a steady pace, her nails dragging down Tony’s back. She was desperate for friction on her clit but that could wait; he had started to buck his hips up to match her rhythm and she was a little distracted by how good he felt. His cock twitched inside her and his thrusts got sloppier, but he tightened his grip on her anyway. He didn’t want her to be disappointed, but more than that he didn’t want it to be over already. As Ziva had pointed out, he had had more than his fair share of one night stands, but this was a very different level of intimacy and experience for him. He wanted to pleasure her more than he craved his own climax, wanted to wake up with her in the morning and fall asleep with her at night not just tomorrow but every day after that. He wanted forever with her, no matter what it took.

“Ziva, I-“. A shaking moan cut him off as he came inside her, gripping her tightly and kissing her with a desperate fierceness. She slowed, riding him through his high, murmuring words of assurance in his ear. Her touch was tender as she cupped his chin in her hand. “I’m sorry,” he panted, kissing her shoulder.

“Rule six, Tony.” She smiled at him, thumbing his lower lip. “I liked it very much.”

“You didn’t cum yet, though,” he insisted, shifting beneath her to grip the back of her thighs and lay her on her back. She whined at the loss of contact as he slid out of her and he wanted nothing more than to fuck her again. However, he knew himself enough to know that he needed a break before he could go another round. He smiled in satisfaction as he watched his cum dripping out of her pretty pussy onto the comforter.

Briefly, he thought of the photo from one of her undercover assignments, the one that showed her with a prosthetic pregnancy belly. She was smiling in the picture, glowing even, despite the fact that the pregnancy was fake, and he was hit with the sudden desire for a wedding and little DiNozzos, watching his pregnant wife painting a nursery in their home. He shoved those thoughts aside for the moment; there would be plenty of time for that later.

He returned his attention to Ziva, who was watching him intensely through her eyelashes, one arm thrown behind her and the other resting on her stomach. He traced one finger up her leg, from calf to thigh, briefly rubbing over her tattoo before drifting languidly between her legs, ghosting over her clit before trailing up over her hip and then resting on top of her hand. As much as he liked her dominating personality, he liked that she was at his mercy now. He smirked as he settled his hand on the inside of her thigh, inches from where he knew she needed him to be. Her lusty expression darkened, and she glared at him.

“You are not as funny as you think you are, Tony,” she hissed.

“Tell me what you want.” It was not a request but a demand, his voice making her stomach flip and the hand not under his gripped the sheets in anticipation.

“Tony, please.”

“Please what?” He tightened his grip on her leg, watching as she bit her lip. “Use your words, baby.”

“Tony, I need you to touch me. Please.” Any traces of the anger and frustration she had expressed earlier had dissipated into desire. She liked to be in control, but she wanted him to claim her, make her his however he wanted. She didn’t want to think about what would happen in the morning, about what this would mean for them both. She wanted to enjoy the moment, the feeling of bliss that came from Tony’s touches. “I thought you said I did not have to ask you twice.”

He shrugged. “I changed my mind.” He kept one hand on her thigh, slowly dragging his other hand over her hip and gliding his thumb over her clit. Her reaction was immediate, her back arching off the bed and her grip on the sheets tightening. As he applied more pressure, slowly starting to rub circles on her clit, she was struggling to bite back moans and cries of ecstasy. “You can be as loud as you want, no one but me is going to hear you. And trust me when I say I love to hear you.” He watched her face as he slipped one finger inside of her, then another as he continued to rub her clit.

“Tony!” She was very quickly approaching her climax, her mind going hazy and blank as he worked her over with his hand. His fingers curled inside of her and he relished the softness of her as he stroked her walls, the chorus of delicious moans and swear words coming from the Israeli beauty egging him on. She started to clench around his fingers and he knew she was close. He kept up his pace, watching her intently, and finally she fell over the edge with a strangled cry. Her legs shook, her toes curling and her fingers wrapping themselves in the comforter as her legs clamped down on his arm. Slowly, he slid his fingers out of her, the mixture of her cum and his coating them delightfully. As Ziva fought to catch her breath her leaned down to kiss her. To his surprise, she caught his hand in hers and brought his fingers to her mouth. He watched, wide-eyed, as she licked his fingers clean, sucking them fiercely. His cock twitched at her actions and he wrapped his free arm under her back, pulling her up to a seated position as she dropped his hand and captured his mouth with her own. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest, still racing from her orgasm. Watching her writhe under him had hypnotized him and he knew he would be replaying that in his head forever.

Despite the intensity of her climax she was not sated, and her dominant side returned with a ferocity. She pushed him back to straddle him once again, but he wasn’t ready to give up the fight either. He gripped her wrists and used his bodyweight to flip them over, trapping her beneath him as he planted open-mouthed kisses on her neck and jaw. She wrapped her legs around him, grinding against him as she found his mouth with her own, kissing him desperately and murmuring in Hebrew against his lips. He relaxed a little against her and she used this to flip them over once again, almost sliding off the side of the bed. She laughed, leaning down to kiss him softly. “Oops,” she said, nipping at his lower lip as he tightened his grip on her. She knew she would have bruises in the morning from his fingers on her hips and the thought sent a pleasant shiver down her spine.

“I always knew you were a wildcat but goddamn,” he said, halfway between a whisper and a growl. “Are we going to fight again or are you going to let me fuck you?”

“You think you are so tough, Tony, why don’t you do something instead of talking about it?” She pulled away from him, once again challenging him with her eyes, daring him to do something. Taking her by surprise, he pushed her off of him, scrambling to his knees and flipping her again so she was face down, grabbing a fistful of her hair and pulling up on all fours. She could easily have kicked back at him, pushed him off the bed, hurt or killed him and escaped into the countryside. Instead, she spread her legs a little farther apart and arched her back, her perfect, round ass in the air and waiting for Tony to make a move. She glanced over her shoulder at him, her lip caught between her teeth, and he ran his hands appreciatively over the curve of her ass before once again burying his cock inside of her. The sound she made as she rocked back against him to match his pace was unbelievable, a mix of a moan and a growl and a cry of his name.

“You’re perfect,” he muttered, grabbing her hair and wrapping it around his hand, pulling back to arch her back even farther. Ziva was completely at his mercy, once again tightly gripping the sheets as Tony pounded into her, all inhibitions gone as animal instincts took over. She snaked a hand beneath her to rub her clit as he dug his free hand into her ass, her second orgasm building quickly under her practiced ministrations. He felt her start to clench on his cock and he knew that he wasn’t far behind her. He increased his pace, panting, and her cries became an unintelligible mix of Hebrew and English as she came undone beneath him, her legs shaking and threatening to collapse. He wrapped an arm beneath her stomach to support her as he came again, easing his grip on her hair and rubbing her back, murmuring praises to her.

With a reluctant sigh, he pulled out of her and collapsed to her left, landing on his side and reaching out to brush her cheek as she curled up next to him. She was exhausted, mostly from the emotional toll the last few weeks had taken on her, and she struggled to keep her eyes open as the waves of her climax subsided. The heat that burned in the pit of her stomach, between her legs, the craving for him had lessened but still had not subsided, and she struggled to calm her heartbeat. Despite her dissatisfaction, she felt content, fulfilled, at peace for the first time in a very long time.

“You are not falling asleep on me already, are you?” she asked, playfully nudging him in the ribs as his eyes drifted shut. They flew open, surprised, and he met her gaze with a dubious expression.

“I had my suspicions that you were a hellcat in bed, but I don’t know how you have so much energy.” He rolled onto his back, one hand sliding around her and his hand tracing soft circles on her shoulder. Her skin was hot and sticky, and he could feel her elevated pulse. At his words, she averted her eyes, suddenly self-conscious. She turned over so her back was to him, tucking her legs towards her chest. He sensed her closing off again and he regretted his words. “I’m sorry, Ziva, I didn’t mean it like that.”

She sat up and crossed her legs, still facing away from him and now just out of his reach. The silence was uncomfortable and heavy for a minute before she finally spoke. “Maybe this was a mistake.” She didn’t regret it, but she worried that he did, worried that she was too much or not enough and that he would be the one with regrets. This self-consciousness was unfamiliar to her; she had experienced insecurity with her job and her abilities with Mossad and NCIS but had never felt incompetent when it came to carnal pleasures. But Tony was different, special even, and now that the initial heat of the moment had passed, she was unsure about where they stood.

“Do you really believe that?” he questioned, her doubt striking his heart. Slowly, he sat up and slid to the edge of the bed. “If you want me to leave I will. I don’t want to, but I will.” He glanced over his shoulder at her and she shifted to face him.

“No.”

“’No’ what?”

“I do not want you to go.” She reached her hand out to him. “And I do not regret tonight.”

“Then why do you think that this was a mistake?” He took her hand, rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

She shrugged. “I do not know, Tony. This is unfamiliar territory for me.” She chewed her lip, trying to put her thoughts into words. “I do not want to be too much or not enough for you. In any sense, not just now. I know that I love you, and I also know that it has been a long time since I have had such a good time with someone. I do not want to take it for granted or spoil a good thing because I still do not feel entirely satisfied.” She looked at him through her lashes. “Which is not to say you gave a poor performance, because it was quite the opposite. However, I do not want you to feel pressured or inadequate in any way.”

“You are one of the most selfless people I have ever met,” he assured her. “But we’re both adults, I can handle anything you throw at me. We will find a way to make this work, in here and out there.” He nodded towards the darkened landscape outside. “I told you that I would take care of you, and I will. I promise. Tonight and tomorrow and as long as you’ll let me.” He pulled her towards him, wrapping her in a hug. “Just don’t shut me out anymore, please. I can’t handle that again.”

“I make no promises,” she replied finally. “But I want to find a way to make this work.”

He kissed the top of her head. “What do you need right now?”

“Just you.” She leaned up to kiss him again, slow and deep, drawing him farther up the bed with her. Once again, she wrapped herself around him, clinging to him desperately as the tender kisses got heavier and more desperate. She was suddenly afraid, not of being close to him but of possibly losing him after all of this. “I love you,” she whispered as he slid himself inside of her again, relishing the closeness of him, the way they fit together perfectly.

    He wrapped his arms around her even tighter, resting his head against her chest so he could listen to her heartbeat, hear her quiet moans as she kept a slow, steady pace. He could sense the exhaustion she felt and he tried to tell her that she could stop, but she was determined. She shifted her position slightly, seeking friction as the tiredness took over and she chased her own high one more time.

Seconds turned into minutes and then into nothing; time no longer existed, no longer mattered for either of them. The dark countryside beyond the windows melted away, the world beyond the edges of the bed ceased to exist. The only thing that either of them were aware of was each other, the sounds of their breathing and heartbeats echoing in their ears.

Ziva felt her orgasm building slowly, the slow burn in the pit of her stomach pulling her out of her reverie. Instead of rushing toward the edge she maintained her pace, relishing the gradual building. Tony was close but trying not to throw her off her rhythm, so he held onto her and whispered praises to her. Finally, after what felt like a glorious eternity, she said his name, a drawn out moan as her head dropped to his shoulder and she started to tremble from the force of her climax. He couldn’t hold out anymore, finally letting himself cum as he stroked her back.

With a sigh he laid back against the pillows, pulling her down with him and holding her close against his chest as she finally settled down. One leg was still hooked over him, keeping herself grounded and, at least subconsciously, keeping him anchored to her. Neither one of them wanted to break the silence. Unlike earlier, this wasn’t a weighty silence but a pleasant one, a quiet intimacy that cradled them both in warm happiness. He stroked her arm, enjoying the feeling of her skin against his. He had never been more content than in this moment, never been more in love until now. “I love you,” he said finally. “I love you.”

“I love you, Tony.” She turned on her side, pulling the comforter up over both of them and snuggling against him. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

She was quiet for a moment. “For everything.” Those two words hung heavy between them, weighed down by all the things that they had never said to each other until now, or at all.

“I mean, you did most of the work,” he joked.

“That is not what I meant, and you know it.” Her tone was flat, unamused. He sighed.

“I’m sorry. I really haven’t been able to say anything right today,” he said quietly.

“No, it is alright.” She rolled onto her stomach, tucking folding her arms under her head and watching him. “I do not want you to go another minute without knowing that I am grateful for everything you have done for me.”

“I told you before, Ziva, I will always be fighting for you. I’m not going anywhere, and all you have to do is ask.”

They drifted off, their legs tangled together under the comforter. In the hazy morning light Ziva woke, turning to see Tony fast asleep beside her. She smiled at him, watched the rise and fall of his chest as he slept. She felt at home here, safe, and she wanted nothing more than to stay here forever with him. She wrapped herself in the comforter and rested her head on his chest. “I will be fighting for you, too, Tony. Always,” she whispered, and fell asleep once more.  

[masterheartsxiii]

Notes from mass 10/4/20

Today’s message: what we sow, we reap

>is what they said. Sure didn’t think it would go the direction it went

(Prepping ahead you’re focus only on myself, just offering one prayer for my dear friend)

>it’s so easy to focus on someone else when you go to these things. Need to turn inward during these

(Good thing I went to mass in college, able to remember some of the spoken stuff)

>they sang this at the one I went to in college so I was able to remember parts like “you alone are the holy one, you alone are the lord” because I can hear the song in my head.

Reading 1: Isaiah (couldn’t get a notes sheet so I didn’t know the readings numbers)

Planted, built watchtower and a wine press

Grew wild grapes not proper grapes (what’s the difference?)

Destroy the vineyard

(Seems a waste)

“The vineyard of the lord is the house of Israel”

Reading 2: idk

Have no anxiety

(Easy for you to say)

>seriously has anyone ever said don’t be anxious and you’ve felt anything but more anxious? Maybe that’s just my own nueroses.

Meditate on all good things

(How to handle when the good things cause anxiety)

>this is my issue currently. The realization that with many things, not just the big one in my life, nothing is just good or just bad. Everything’s so complex how can you be happy about one thing and not have the anxiety. How can one play a game with friends, without wanting to seek after their well-being and being too cautious to the point of annoyance? (That one definitely didn’t happen and I’m regretting now. Haha)

Gospel: Matthew

Parable: leases vineyard to tenants. Tenants beat up+ servants twice, then attacks the heir.

What will the owner do?

Kingdom of god given to those who will take care of it.

Homily:

Note: read specifically, not summarized, cause important.

> hoo boy, did I not know what I was about to get into... I’ll probably be seeking a new catholic church after this.

Tenants choose to rule themselves. Kill son for inheritance, how insane and arrogant

>lol agreed. Who thinks “hey if I kill this guy on the street, do you think his dad will give me his stuff?”

We as a community, talked ourselves into accepting things that are wrong.

>this is where I got leery. Is this on sexuality, transgenderism....

Example: abortion

(Something the church only relatively recently is against, but ok.

>ah there it is. Shoulda seen the big sign outside for the month. Abortion talk, something I used to be pro life on that I have since moved on, not cause I’m heartless, but because I understand there’s nuance. I also know the church has had at best boxed views on when the soul is added, with up until the 19th century usually believing at birth, due to higher stillborn rates (effectively the fetus is like an animal until birth. That’s painfully simply summarizing it but still). But sure let’s do this same song and dance that led my dear friend to question her faith when they told her her sexuality was equally as wrong. Because god cares about you only so long as you fit the heteronormative, pro-life view, but that’s definitely a tangent)

“You are the sinner. You’re body and you own up to it”

(WHAT!? You better have a “but”, Pharisee)

(Ok. He says aid them not condemn. Ok. Still issues with abortion as a sin, but that’s a different argument)

>I about walked out of there then. As that condemnation would have been exactly against Christ’s teachings, but he recovered. He was saying that’s what the people outside PP tend to do, and that’s wrong, to which we agree.

“Loved not judged. Cared for, not condemned. Hugged, not midtreated”

“The laws are one thing, our behavior is another”

(But does the church not still deny comprehensive sex Ed and contraceptives?)

>condemnation still exists if it’s systemic. Making someone feel guilty, even without saying the words is still the same. Believe me, I know. I’m great at haughty, passive aggressive condemnation. #selfloathing.

Can’t let evil laws exist

Should work to eliminate them, but we should also care.

>no comment

“These women are not evil, they don’t want to lose their minds”

>wow what great words of wisdom. People aren’t inherently evil? I am shocked, shocked I say. This really felt like it needed to be on script for import. Is my sarcasm palpable enough yet.

Not screaming about going to hell (thank you)

> the bare minimum was met

Misc:

So yeah, I’m gonna be looking for a new church. Between this talk, the presumption they will be continuing this course, and literally asking for money in the prayer itself, I feel this church does not necessarily have the spirit of god held in it.

I asked my catholic friends if this anti-abortion (which I know the church as a whole is against, THATS not the issue) tirade month is like a church wide thing, and was assured it wasn’t. The fact that I got more divine inspiration out of my dear friend’s shorthand notes on a virtual sermon than from being in person at my own tells me all I need to know.

[hatari-translations]

RÚV interview about the flag incident - translation/commentary

So this interview is already on YouTube with English subtitles (part 1, part 2), but these subtitles are fanmade, and they’re heavily condensed and paraphrased, the English is a bit shaky, and sometimes they’re not quite accurate (there’s nothing hugely wrong, but definitely bits that are a bit off). So I’ve retranslated the whole interview as faithfully as I could here, and added some notes.

English translation

INTERVIEWER: Good evening and welcome to Kastljós. Performance art group Hatari caused a real stir at Eurovision last weekend. They got tenth place and staged a sharp protest against Israel's treatment of Palestine, and since the beginning the group has talked about a 'plan', to dismantle capitalism among other things, and to use the song contest to show solidarity with Palestinians. They have also wanted to normalize the BDSM subculture and support the struggle for LGBTQIA rights. In the past two weeks they've garnered worldwide attention, but now they're finally home. Welcome, Matthías, Einar and Klemens.

KLEMENS/EINAR: Thank you.

INTERVIEWER: How... It was a bit of a hassle getting you in for an interview today, you were a bit tired. Are you completely exhausted?

MATTHÍAS: Yeah, we thought we'd have this day off.

KLEMENS: And that the Icelandic nation might have had enough of us.

INTERVIEWER: Are you still recovering?

MATTHÍAS: Yeah.

KLEMENS: Yeah, there's been a lot of pent-up tension to recover from, for several months.

MATTHÍAS: Yeah. For the next few days we're just going to be digesting this, I think.

INTERVIEWER: I'd like to just get straight to the incident that provoked the most attention. We've all been following you throughout this process, but perhaps we haven't heard exactly how this happened, when you'd received your points from the public vote and waved the Palestinian flag. How did this come about? When did you decide to do it in this moment?

KLEMENS: Well, we always talked about how we were following a plan, and that everything was going according to plan. But really... if we're honest, we were kind of jumping off a cliff, and for most of that time we didn't know exactly where this was headed.

MATTHÍAS: We had certain ideas, saw certain possibilities, and took these banners with us to keep that possibility open. But the fact it'd happen exactly there, and exactly in that way, we couldn't really predict, because we don't know exactly when we're going to be on camera, and how, and for how long. We're kind of confined within this box.

INTERVIEWER: So you didn't have a plan for this.

MATTHÍAS/EINAR: No, but...

KLEMENS: No, well, we had a bit of a plan. And it was a hassle to get the banners - they weren't flags, they were banners, and it was a hassle to obtain them. Iceland Music News helped a lot.

MATTHÍAS: Yeah, the reporters at Iceland Music News went to Ramallah and smuggled those flags back over the border, while we were just in our Euro-bubble, I can't remember what we were doing that day.

INTERVIEWER: How were they smuggled into...?

MATTHÍAS: You kind of have to ask them about that, but they described it as a nerve-wracking experience, where they had to walk across the border in full view of soldiers, with those banners under their clothes.

KLEMENS: It was also a big hassle to obtain the banners themselves, because it was, I think, Ramadan? And no stores were open. So our Palestinian friends were very busy, calling people they knew to open - I think in the end it was a toy store that was opened for us, and got us these Palestinian banners.

INTERVIEWER: But then, when you know you're about to get your public points, and the camera is about to be on you - describe the lead-up to that. What were you thinking and how did you decide to do this?

MATTHÍAS: We'd several times had a cameraman come up to us, and that's sort of a clue that maybe soon we're going to be on camera. I had one banner on the inside of my boot, the right Hatari boot, and I was ready and had already unzipped it each time the cameraman approached. But then we saw that other participants were shown when their public points were announced, especially when there was a large gap between the jury points and the public, as it was for us. So as soon as we heard that we were getting a lot of points from the public, and a cameraman came running and even pointed at the camera - then we knew that okay, this is the moment.

KLEMENS: We were like - [wild, frantic gesturing]

MATTHÍAS: Yeah, I remember Klemens sort of nodded to me, like "It's now", and I pull my banner out of the boot, and when I relive that moment all I can think is how relieved I am that the banner was the right way up. It could easily have been upside down.

INTERVIEWER: But then you record a video of staff coming to take the banners. What actually happened there?

EINAR: Things got really unreal very quickly, as soon as we'd had those few seconds on the screen. Immediately people were booing. We were in the green room with all the other artists and delegations, and then there was a VIP section, and there were probably a lot of Israelis there. And they just immediately start booing. The mood kind of took a turn; people had been waving flags all night, and...

INTERVIEWER: You felt that people were unhappy with you.

EINAR: Um... well, really the people in the VIP section. We didn't feel that from the other participants. They were all just "Wow, they really did that." And...

KLEMENS: These were seats that people could buy, instead of being out in the crowd.

INTERVIEWER: Then, in the wake of this, this is being covered by many of the world's biggest news organizations, and we've seen on social media where you're sharing photos of the Palestinian flag, that under them you get comments where they’re just tearing into you and threatening you. How do you feel about that?

MATTHÍAS: That's nothing new, really, even if this got more attention than most other things. And we've kind of decided, or learned, from this to not put too much stock in internet comment systems.

INTERVIEWER: Well, this is a bit bigger than on the Icelandic news sites. You've just butted into one of the most heated international conflicts in modern history, and... you never know what people might do, you'd think.

MATTHÍAS: Sure, and of course we were stepping into uncertainty there at a certain point. As Einar described, the mood in the room really changed, in a palpable way, and we didn't really know... The journey from the green room - at this point we're not at all following the contest, we didn't even know the Netherlands' contestant had won until way later.

KLEMENS: Andrean, he...

MATTHÍAS: ...congratulated the Swedish contestant.

KLEMENS: On the way out.

MATTHÍAS: It was well-intentioned; he just wasn't thinking. But that was the most precarious part, the journey from the green room to our dressing room, and that... The technicians are shouting something at us, but there are also Israelis coming to cheer and support us.

EINAR: We didn't really know how much danger we were in, and that created a lot of uncertainty.

INTERVIEWER: A bit about this group. It hasn't existed very long, you start in 2015, 2016 you play your first concert, and then you decide to take part in Eurovision and have been playing a bit before that. But this ideology that you’re working with, you created a fake news website, Icelandic Music News -

KLEMENS: Iceland Music News.

INTERVIEWER: Iceland Music News, which is fake news.

MATTHÍAS: The most honest media organization in the country.

KLEMENS: In the history of Iceland.

INTERVIEWER: Then you have Svikamylla ehf., which is your holding company, and a fake sponsor, SodaDream - just to ask you yourselves, what's the message of your satire?

MATTHÍAS: I think everything you've mentioned, Iceland Music News, SodaDream and how we present ourselves in interviews, is about image, and the cultivation of an image. It's so... We live in a marketplace of personal image, with social media and so on, but then we also just revel in paradoxes, wherever they are to be found.

KLEMENS: The contradictions that we live with constantly, and are born into.

INTERVIEWER: One of those paradoxes is how, while you're out there, Iceland is going nuts for Hatari products. Hamburger buns with your logo, hotdogs, TVs, and all sorts of merchandise. Capitalism somehow took you over and swallowed you while you were out there. How do you feel about that? Is it part of the plan, or...?

[As he says this, we see examples: 40% off pizza at Domino's using the coupon code 'Hatari'; 'Hatrið mun sigra' hamburger buns; a Domino's ad saying 'Hungrið mun aldrei sigra' or 'Hunger will never prevail'; an ad for a Eurovision discount on pitas showing a gimp with the caption 'Go Iceland!'; stall selling actual branded Hatari merchandise at a mall; 'Hatrið mun sigra' written with balloons in a store window; a sign saying 'Ready for Eurovision? A bigger selection of Hatari products on the bottom floor']

MATTHÍAS: Well, what I felt - I felt a bit betrayed by Domino's Pizza, because they didn't even want to sponsor Iceland Music News, and then they use our lyrics in a commercial! Nah, not really. But obviously we're just stepping into a big commercial enterprise with Eurovision. We've been this grassroots multimedia project...

EINAR: It's weird how Hatari kind of becomes public property in the process of this.

INTERVIEWER: You go out there not just to participate in Eurovision - you go without the RÚV delegation to Hebron, and there you're talking to people and getting to know people and familiarizing yourselves with the situation there. Tell us a bit about that.

KLEMENS: We - well, our friends told us that if we wanted to see apartheid very clearly, we should go to Hebron and see the H2 area, which is in the center of the city. They went with us, and a friend of theirs lives there and showed us around what's called 'Ghost Town', which is some strategically chosen streets that have been closed off for settlers to travel between illegal settlements. There are three illegal settlements in the middle of the city, and...

MATTHÍAS: And it's all constantly monitored by soldiers, this city. The local kid who was showing us around was shocked that we were allowed in with a camera, because that never happens. And you just feel how electrified the tension is between the locals, the Palestinians who live there, on the one hand, and the soldiers and settlers on the other.

INTERVIEWER: You said before you left that you expected that going there and taking part in this would change your perspective on the situation, perhaps in a wider context. I'm not entirely clear on what context, but did this journey do that?

MATTHÍAS: Yeah...

EINAR: It's one thing to read the news and try to stay informed, and it's another thing to see the apartheid with your own eyes, talk to refugees and just hear their stories.

MATTHÍAS: In a way it confirmed - even though we see news headlines, it put them in context with the daily life there, and we heard a lot more perspectives, from both Israelis and Palestinians. It's a much more complicated reality than we perhaps believed, but the abuse of power by Israelis against the Palestinians is much clearer in our minds than ever before.

INTERVIEWER: Did you succeed in your goals with this act?

MATTHÍAS: Well... we've said that there's no one 'bomb', or whatever you call it, that justifies playing in this country, and participating in this big spectacle. But we tried to just follow our hearts and do what we could, and we hope we did that.

KLEMENS: We've received support from all over the world about what we...

INTERVIEWER: A bit about that support, since we don't have a lot of time left. You're still going, doing a small tour around Iceland. This has made you a bit of an overnight sensation, to use a cliché. Are you planning to tour abroad and become known internationally?

MATTHÍAS: We have some concerts in the pipeline, but we're starting here in Iceland.

KLEMENS: We're about to release a song with our friend and collaborator Bashar Murad. He's a Palestinian musician and we're publishing a song with him on the 23rd, on Thursday, which is our homecoming concert. Then we're going around the country - 'National Disgrace', that's our tour.

MATTHÍAS: National Disgrace, presented by Relentless Scam Inc. Tickets on tix.is. But yeah, Bashar was the main person cheering us on, informing us, putting us in contact with other Palestinian artists, so talking and collaborating with him has meant a lot for us.

INTERVIEWER: So, it's all very showy, your costumes and presentation and how you've expressed yourselves in interviews so far. Now you're here, having taken the masks off a bit. Is the performance continuing, in the form of Hatari the musical group?

MATTHÍAS: Yeah, I think right now our full-time job is shaking off the Eurovision stamp, and that's not going to be easy. And I think we're taking a break from the media after this.

INTERVIEWER: But you don't regret it?

KLEMENS/EINAR: No.

MATTHÍAS: No, I don't think so. The support and thanks we're bombarded with - you mentioned those hateful comments on social media, but they don't matter next to the messages we've received from Palestinians and others who support justice and human rights. One didn't quite realize - for us it's just a piece of cloth, and we're used to being able to wave whatever cloth we want wherever we want, but for them it was just - for many people who contacted us, talking about their friends in Betlehem or Gaza or East Jerusalem or Ramallah, wherever people were calling from - it was so important to them to tell us that everyone they knew was cheering so hard, and how deeply it touched them. One girl who contacted us said, 'I can feel now, for the first time in a long time, that I'm not alone in the world, and you gave me hope and made me proud to be Palestinian.' It had a way bigger effect on people than...

KLEMENS: ...than we could ever have imagined.

MATTHÍAS: For us it's a show of solidarity, but it's still just a cloth on TV. But that's not how a lot of other people saw it.

INTERVIEWER: We have to stop now, the producer is starting to yell at me. Time's up. Thanks a lot for coming.

Notes

This interview is from Kastljós, a show that airs after the news on RÚV and features interviews and/or in-depth coverage about things that are in the news.

When Matthías mentions the ‘bomb or whatever you call it’, he’s referencing a widely-shared opinion column from May 15th, the day after the first semifinal, titled ‘Hatari, when’s the bomb coming?’ Many Icelanders who support Palestine and were in favor of boycotting the contest were annoyed with Hatari participating, and after Hatari went on stage in the first semifinal and played their song without incident, the author of the column impatiently asked when the ‘bomb’ was coming - whatever grand gesture Hatari had planned that was supposed to justify participating. He went on to encourage Hatari to withdraw from the contest and refuse to play in the final.

My personal take on the issue has always been that boycotts are only effective on a large scale, and Hatari unfortunately just never had the power to orchestrate that when it came to Eurovision. If they had pulled out before the final, alone, while every other country went on and the contest was just business as usual, most of the viewing public would never even have noticed that Iceland wasn’t there, and it would’ve made virtually no impact on anything, whereas pulling out the banners where they did made international headlines and all in all provoked a lot of discussion about Israel and Palestine. I think Matthías and I are basically on the same wavelength, as he talks about how there wasn’t really anything they could’ve done that would’ve justified their participation, but they hope they did what they could.

I think from Hatari’s comments around the incident that it’s clear they had multiple plans going on - a plan for what they’d do if they actually won (perhaps a statement on stage in their speech), and then other plans for things they could potentially go for, depending on when they had an opportunity, including those banners, and this is what they ended up getting a good chance to do. I’m sad we didn’t get to see what they had planned for victory, and I’m curious what the other plans were - but I think this one worked out pretty well.

[purple-spring]

Apparitions - a SH fanfic

Author’s note: And so here it is, my labour of love and early Christmas present for the SH fandom - the sequel to ‘Tomorrow’ and ‘Coming Home’. I owe a debt of gratitude to so many people. To @jandjsalmon​, my beta/meta/co-pilot, thank you, as always, for reading and reworking and questioning and pushing this to become what it is now. Erin is my tribute to you. To @theatreofexpression​, who also read and beta’d and cheered me on, you are a gift, and I treasure our conversations. To @oleekingcole​, @gingerheel​ and @a92vm​ for all your support - I am grateful for our friendships.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. While it is based on a number of real-life events (Riverdale auditions, shooting of Riverdale 1.06, the SH San Francisco trip), it is purely speculative, and was not intended to upset or offend.

Summary: Lili is haunted by Cole, and by her fears. When the time comes to banish her ghosts, will she fold? Or will she follow her heart?

Read below, after the cut, or on Ao3. 

“Do you believe in ghosts, Lili?”

The voice that Cole put on was ridiculous, and Lili rolled her eyes at him to indicate that she thought as much. He laughed as he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her in against him, kissing the top of her head affectionately. He’d been in a good mood ever since they landed - gleeful, even. As though by simply moving away from the confines of Vancouver, the context of work, he was immediately freed to be this - happy, carefree, relaxed Cole.

Luggage in hand, they looked up at the gaudy pink facade of the Queen Anne Hotel - apparently one of San Francisco’s most haunted spots, which looked anything but spooky in the garish light of day.

Cole turned to her. “You ready?” She nodded excitedly.

When he’d first suggested it for their weekend away, she was reluctant. Having been accustomed to their getaways in the wild woods of British Columbia, San Francisco felt like a strange, random choice. Throw in a haunted hotel, and it seemed downright bizarre. But Cole’s stubbornness, and his powers of persuasion, were the stuff of legend; he’d once spent three days locked in a bitter stalemate with Roberto over what breed Hot Dog should be, and lost, but just barely, and not for lack of trying.

While Lili was proud of the fact that she was less susceptible to Cole’s nagging (one of the advantages of being his actual girlfriend and being on the receiving end of his pleas all too often), she was certainly not immune to being swayed by a pair of piercing, pleading blue eyes and countless sleepy conversations in the morning while she was still enveloped in his arms. This, he knew, was totally unfair on his part: she was completely undone in his embrace.

“But it would be so good, Lils,” he said, nuzzling her bare belly with his nose, right where he knew it tickled. She giggled and kicked at him half-heartedly. He looked at her with a glint of mischief in his eye before biting down - gently, but firm enough to leave a mark - causing her to sit upright, cussing up a storm, before whacking him soundly with a pillow.

“Not cool,” she mumbled, rubbing gingerly at the spot where he’d bitten her, before lying back down. He smiled before bending down to kiss it apologetically, getting a sarcastic little pat on the cheek in return.

“Seriously, though,” he said, resting his cheek back on her stomach and looking up at her. “It would be intriguing, right?”

“I don’t know, Cole. I mean, why would I want to stay overnight at a haunted hotel? That’s just asking for it.”

“Asking for what, exactly?”

“Like, asking to be haunted, I guess?”

Cole’s head popped up as he gave her a skeptical look. “You don’t believe in that shit, do you?”

“Hey, might I remind you that your own brother believes in that shit? Remember when he freaked out at the Chateau Marmont?”

“Yeah, but that’s Dylan. Which reminds me, I need to send him my monthly text message asking him if he’s felt any more of that weird energy he was harping on about.” Lili smirked at that. Round infinity of the Sprouse Roast Battle. “As for you, though, I thought you’d be more of a skeptic about that sort of stuff.”

“Me?” Lili paused, chewing on her bottom lip thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I’d say that I have a healthy dose of fear and superstition. Like, say, if someone read my tea leaves or something and said that they saw misfortune in my future? Eh. Whatever.”

Cole grinned at her, the dimples over his top lip deepening in the laugh that threatened to spill out of him. “Alright, ‘fess up, Lils. Who read your tea leaves? Was it Mads? It was totally Mads, right?”

“No!” Lili laughed. “She’s a vegan, Cole, not some earth goddess.”

“Oh, come on, like she wouldn’t be reading your tea leaves.”

“Okay. First of all, no-one read my tea leaves, I was making a point. Secondly, you know I don’t drink tea. It’s basically —“

“Flavoured hot water, yes, you’ve said so a million times.”

“Exactly. And thirdly, leave my beautiful precious vegan bean alone.” Cole laughed and settled his head back on her tummy. “Anyway, that sort of stuff, I wouldn’t sweat. But staying overnight at a hotel that’s actually known to be haunted? Come on. That’s some serious, next-level insanity.”

“I’m just saying,” he mumbled, face down on her bare skin. “It would be interesting.”

Lili narrowed her eyes. “Okay. Out with it, Sprouse. What’s your angle? Why are you pushing so hard for this?”

“No angle.” Cole slung his arm over her waist and looked up at her. “Just, you know, a fun weekend with my girl. And the pictures would be cool, don’t you think?”

She pushed a lock of hair away from his eyes. “There are cool pictures to be taken anywhere, and you of all people should know that.”

“Okay, fine then. It would be an adventure. And you love adventures, don’t you?”

Lili smiled, still bashful over his reference to her birthday greeting. “Yeah, but to somewhere that potentially houses a ghostly presence?”

He sat up and stared at her levelly. “Wow. You honestly don’t remember?”

She racked her brain desperately. Nothing stood out. “Sorry. I’m out.”

“Come on. The abandoned mental hospital? Season 1 shooting in Coquitlam?” He looked mildly hurt. “I thought you would’ve made the connection, Lils. It’s coming up to a year.”

Shit. Of course. Lili wanted to smack herself in the face. Did she really forget? Wait. That didn’t sound right. She made the calculations in her head.

“Cole, that was in November. We’re planning for this weekend in October.”

“It’s close.”

Lili laughed. “It’s barely close!”

“It’s close enough.”

“Well, you made me feel like shit for forgetting. And I didn’t.” Her eyes softened at the memory. “Come on. How could I forget that?”

Indeed, how could she? Riverview Hospital. Filming Episode 6. Cole, surrounded by the debris of a decrepit asylum, his hands cupping her face, the two of them emotional but also laughing at the absurdity of having a moment in the midst of an abandoned mental hospital, of all places.

As they now stood in front of the Queen Anne, his arm around her shoulder, hers wrapped around his waist, she recognised that perhaps it had slipped her mind momentarily because all of that felt like a whole lifetime ago. In that moment, as they lay in bed, caught up in travel plans and each other, those days of secrecy and second-guessing and sneaking kisses around the set seemed like ancient history.

It was his question, unintentionally, that brought it all back. It reminded her of the days when she was unsure about what she meant to him, or even what he meant to her. When he was nothing but an apparition that lurked in the corners of her mind and made her heart clench in its tender, invisible grip.

Do you believe in ghosts, Lili?

She sure did.

He was once one of hers.

…

It was at auditions for Riverdale that they’d first crossed paths. She’d been engrossed in her script, running over lines in her head with her earphones plugged in, barely conscious of the fact that some guy she had never met before had been nudging her foot repeatedly to get her attention. One last, hard nudge did it: she finally looked up, startled, as he motioned for her to remove her earphones.

“Hey, are you Lili?” She nodded and replied in the affirmative. “I think they’re calling your name.”

Her first thought was, oh, shit. She scrambled to get all her things together, willing herself to stay calm.

Her second thought, as she conversed briefly with Foot Nudge Guy, was, oh, hey. Kinda cute?

But she had no time to extend that thought as she hurriedly said goodbye to her friend Israel (who was trying out for both Archie and Jughead) and rushed off into her audition. It wasn’t until later when Israel came over to catch up and debrief over dinner that she realised who it was.

“You are bullshitting me.” She froze while rummaging in the kitchen drawer. “Cole Sprouse? Like, Cody Martin Cole Sprouse? You’re telling me that he was the guy who was nudging my foot?”

“Yeah, it was definitely him. They called his name out and everything,” replied Israel. He laughed suddenly. “Everyone in the room was falling all over themselves to get a glimpse of him, and you were literally the only person he spoke to, and you barely noticed him.”

Lili shrugged sheepishly. “Well, I was prepping for my audition.”

“Fair. Also, I think he might’ve been auditioning for Archie as well. Just my luck.”

“Aw, come on. You totally should’ve just psyched him out, Izzy. Stared him down, or pushed him as you walked past or something.”

Israel laughed. “Fuck, dude. Like I’m really gonna psych out Cole Sprouse. The guy’s been acting since he was in diapers.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lili paused thoughtfully. She thought of the guy that she saw at the audition - completely unassuming, determinedly normal - and felt a pang of sympathy for him, an actor who was just trying to book a job, but with all the added pressure of everyone staring and speculating and wanting a piece of him. “I wonder what drew him back to acting.”

“Who knows? Didn’t he and his brother go to college for a while?”

“That’s what I heard.”

Just then, Israel’s phone buzzed on the table. He gave Lili a nervous glance before picking it up. He read it quickly, then his face fell. “Shit. My agent. I didn’t get the part.”

“Aw, Iz.” She walked over and consoled him by patting his shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Israel visibly relaxed. “Actually, you know what? This is good. I don’t think I told you - I auditioned for this other film, which went really well, and I was kinda nervous that I’d have to pick between that and Riverdale if I got this one, too.”

“That’s awesome. So I guess the universe made that decision for you, huh?”

“Totally.”

“And, you know, worse comes to worse, you’ve always got my famous curly fries to give you solace.”

“More like your frozen bag specialty curly fries.”

Lili beamed as the oven timer sounded. “Hey, don’t hate. Haters don’t get curly fries.”

She was pulling the fries out of the oven when her phone rang. Israel glanced at her. As working actors, they knew what a phone call meant, as opposed to a text message.

“Lils?”

“Yep. I know.” Lili took a deep breath and held her phone in her hand as it kept ringing. She faced away from the room, keeping her face close to one of the kitchen walls. Inhale, exhale. Repeat. She finally answered the call. “Hi, Lili here.”

The next few moments were a blur, out of which she could only remember the most mundane details. The heat emanating from the open oven. The tired, pale pink paint of the wall she was facing. The distinct smell of fries. And the way she looked down at her shirt to check if it was puffing out from how hard and fast her heart was beating.

She hung up and turned to Israel, tears in her eyes. He knew. And she would remember what he was about to say to her in that moment for a long time. She would mark it as the veil that divided her life into Before and After, foreshadowing not only Riverdale, but everything else - Vancouver, the long days and nights of shooting, the thrill and loneliness of her sudden skyrocket to fame, the comfort of unexpected friendships.

And, of course, Cole.

“Lils,” Israel said in a half-whisper. “I literally just watched your life change.”

…

That was the beginning. Back then, Cole had been a half-formed spectre that dipped its toe into her head every now and then, making the occasional ripple.

And then she took his jacket home by accident, and things started to change.

Roberto had called her not long after her agent did, warmly congratulating her on getting the part and looking to arrange a meeting with her and the guy who booked Jughead’s role.

“We haven’t confirmed it with him just yet,” Roberto said, laughing. “So we’ll hold off letting you know who it is for now. It’ll be a good surprise on the day.”

Despite the uncertainty, Lili was excited. She knew that the show had only been green-lit for a pilot episode at that point, but the prospect of working on a potentially big project - one that could mean a new life as a full-fledged working actress - thrilled her. And she was also excited to meet one of her future castmates.

Walking into the production office that day, Lili regretted not bringing a cardigan. It was an unusually hot spring day in LA, and as a result, the building was blasting its air conditioner at full strength. She’d dressed carefully for the meeting, mimicking an outfit she saw on Betty in one of the special edition Betty comics - a red, strappy sundress with yellow flowers printed on it. She found it at a thrift store, and couldn’t believe her luck. She knew that Roberto, being the creative director of the comics, would recognise it immediately and appreciate the reference.

What she wasn’t expecting was the fact that the guy playing Jughead would recognise it, too.

Or that said guy was Cole Sprouse.

What. The actual. Fuck. She recognised him and silently cursed Israel for getting the guy’s audition details wrong. He said Cole was auditioning for Archie! How am I supposed to deal with this now?

Cole was already seated and reading (she caught a glimpse of Hemingway on the book spine), and suddenly she feared doing something stupid or awkward as she walked into the reception area. Somehow, she managed not to trip over herself, or make a strange noise, or stare longer than necessary, and for that she quietly congratulated herself.

She couldn’t help it, though - she stole a quick glance. Lili realised that she had only been partially right about him seeming normal. Because while he did look the part - dressed as he was in dark khakis, a plain white shirt, worn tan jacket, with a large backpack sitting at his feet - her keen eyes recognised that he carried with him the aura and glow of difference, of being just a little more special than everyone else. It was in his eyes - they were bright, active, perpetually amused. They carried the playful air of a prince pretending to be a pauper.

Lili sat down two seats away from him, unsure whether she should initiate a conversation. As it turned out, she didn’t need to worry - he spoke to her first.

“Betty comics, number 12, 1994,” Cole said, startling her out of her apprehension. She looked up, and he was looking at her with a subtle, half-formed smile. “Right?”

“Uh, excuse me?”

“Your outfit. It’s Betty’s. From the special edition Betty spin-off.” He looked away and chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully. “Or maybe it was number 11?”

“Number 13, actually. ‘Paper Caper.’” Lili smiled at him. “But good try.”

“Ah, damn it. Knew I should’ve crammed for the impromptu Archie universe quiz.” Cole leaned over and offered his hand. “I’m Cole, by the way.”

She took his hand and shook it. It was warm to the touch, and his handshake was firm while the skin was smooth, though slightly calloused at the knuckles. A craftsman’s hands. She remembered that he was a photographer now. “Hey, Cole. I’m — “

“Lili, yeah. From auditions. I remember.”

What the hell? He remembers me? She masked her surprise by laughing at the memory. “That’s right, I think I have you and your foot to thank for getting me to my audition in time.”

“Damn straight. My foot will now take a small cut of all future earnings as a token of your gratitude.”

She laughed. “Sweet. Does it take AMEX?”

“This is a cash-only operation, kid. Sorry.”

“Cash-only, huh? And here I was thinking this was completely legit.”

“Whoa, hey. Cole Sprouse, Foot and Co is a totally legitimate outfit.”

There it was. His name, his famous, well-known name - though couched within a joke - was now released into the ether. She felt it hanging in the air between them - an unwanted phantom reminding them that they weren’t just two random strangers who managed to hit it off immediately, that his fame made it a little more complicated than that. She could tell that he knew it, too, and that, like her, he was regretting the awkward halt to their spitfire banter. She decided to change the subject. “So... you know comics, huh?”

Cole beamed. Lili was touched to see his relief at the distraction. “Oh, yeah. I worked at this huge comic book store on Sunset Boulevard for a while.”

“You mean Meltdown?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.” His eyes lit up. “You know it?”

“I do,” Lili said. “I, um, actually have this thing for special effects make-up, and I’ve been there a few times to pick up some inspiration.”

“No kidding. You got any pictures of your work?”

She felt shy all of a sudden. “Yeah. Did you wanna see them?”

Cole got up and settled into the seat right next to her. “I do, actually. I’d love to.”

She unlocked her phone, opening to the album containing all of her work before leaning over to show him. This close, she caught his scent; a mix of pine, laundry soap, and the faint undertone of cigarettes. She wasn’t sure why, but she consciously committed it to memory.

“So, um, these are a few that I did on some friends…”

She swiped through, showing him pictures of cosplay makeup she had done during Comic Con season, some prosthetic work (which fascinated Cole the most), and some Halloween looks she had experimented with. She was in the middle of showing him her 2D Wonder Woman look when he paused, seemingly intent on something, before gently placing his hand on her forearm.

It was a jolt to her senses. It was so sudden, yet so innocent and unassuming. She looked up at him, and their eyes met. They were close enough that she could take a closer look at him, count the freckles and moles that formed a constellation on his face.

“Goosebumps,” he announced matter-of-factly. “You’re cold.”

“Um, yeah,” she conceded. This close to him, she could barely think straight. “It’s freezing in here.”

Cole stood up and shrugged his jacket off. “Here, put this on.”

“What? Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly --”

“Lili. Honestly, it’s fine.” She felt a small, unexpected thrill at the sound of her name coming out of his lips. It sounded both foreign and familiar, as though he’d known how to say it his entire life, and she was hearing him say it for the first time today. “Besides, I’ve been numbed and hardened to the cold by many a bitter New York winter.” As he said this, he put on an old man voice, which cracked her up. “This jacket is purely for aesthetic purposes.”

She took the jacket from him and put it on. Aside from the extra bulk, it felt like a second skin - warm, well-worn, comfortable, protective. She looked down at her outfit. “Not much of a Betty now, though, am I?”

Cole shrugged and smiled. “Still looks good.”

Lili froze while her mind went overdrive. Was that a compliment? Wait, is he flirting with me? Are we FLIRTING? But before she had time to think this through, a door had opened and a PA was inviting them to step in. Cole picked his bag up and gave her a bemused look before gesturing ceremoniously towards the door.

“Well,” he said. “Shall we?”

The meeting was fairly casual, with Roberto wanting his first two co-stars to meet each other properly and to get a glimpse into the planned narrative arcs for their respective characters (if the pilot was successful). The entire process was fascinating to both of them - Cole had obviously been out of acting for a while, and Lili had never worked on anything as large-scale as Roberto was planning for Riverdale to be. A whirlwind of storyboards and script teases and sketches made time pass quickly, and soon Lili found herself being ushered back out to the waiting area with Cole. Both of them were buzzing with anticipation.

“Well…” Lili started. The sentence trailed off and finished in a grin. There was no other response, no words for how excited she felt about working on Riverdale.

“Yeah.” Cole nodded. He seemed to be in a daze as well. He caught her eye and she couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. He did, too. Out of pure mirth. As if they couldn’t believe their luck.

“This is crazy, right?” she said.

“Absolutely fucking crazy.” A short pause settled into their conversation as Cole seemed to mull something over. “Hey, you doing anything right now?”

Lili’s joyful mood dissolved as it gave way to nerves. Is he…? No. Don’t be ridiculous, Lili. Anyway, you’ve got something on. Gah. “Um… I am, actually,” she said. “I’m catching up with a friend over dinner. I haven’t seen her in ages.”

“Ah.” Cole nodded. “You live around here though, right? LA?”

“Yep. I’m an Ohio girl, though.”

“Awesome. We should hang out sometime.”

It was a statement, not a question, and from anyone else, at any other given time, it would’ve sounded arrogant. But not from Cole. Because Lili knew, as well as he did, that he was just following through to the natural conclusion of the afternoon they just had - the banter, the ease, the strong, natural pull between them. It was beyond chemistry. It felt… spiritual. Supernatural.

Still, given who he was and how closely they’d be working together in the next few months, she was naturally hesitant. And so she was surprised to hear herself replying:

“Yeah, we should.”

Lili knew, from the moment they exchanged numbers, from the way she watched the deft movement of his fingers as they entered her contact details into his phone. She knew when he pulled her in for a hug before saying goodbye and felt her body melting into his. She knew when she jumped into her Uber and realised, with a surprise, that she was still wearing his jacket. And that he didn’t ask for it back, either.

She knew. It was a foregone conclusion.

She was haunted by Cole.

...

The next few months passed by in a golden blur. Slowly, Lili’s days filled up with preparing for Riverdale. And with Cole. He texted her often, and called most nights. She met Dylan, as well as Cole’s entire social set from the West Coast, and soon became friends with them as well. He took her around to where he was staying in LA - at Debby’s - where they’d watch sunsets and pet her cats while talking about everything and nothing at all. He gave her unnecessarily detailed lectures on how to use her camera. She sent him memes.

At first, it was fine. She figured that whatever she felt for him at the production meeting was a fluke and would eventually dissolve with time. Except... they didn’t. Instead, she could feel something taking root in her heart. Whether it was infatuation or love, she couldn’t quite tell just yet. But it was there. And it made her panic.

When he told her how he felt for her, his confession whispered in the early hours of morning as they lay together on the couch at Debby’s place, that panic was replaced by euphoria, which was only heightened with each frenzied kiss, each extended ‘good night’ over the phone. They kept things between them for the time being, wanting to preserve and protect this still-undefined thing that they had, away from all the noise. They carefully avoided any talk of the future, living day to day just as Cole had promised: tomorrow, he had said. Tomorrow, you’ll still have me. And, faithfully, Lili held onto that.

But with each day that passed on the Riverdale set, the harsh black and white of reality slowly seeped into the technicolor dream that was her world with Cole. The hours were long, the schedule was gruelling, and she found herself mentally and physically exhausted by the demands of playing Betty Cooper. She started feeling more moody and brooding, despite Cole’s best efforts to make her laugh, as well as his constant insistence on pulling her into some unknown corner on set to sneak in a secret kiss. At first, she put it down to simple fatigue, and took naps whenever she could. But as the weeks wore on, she felt essentially the same, and it worried her.

One morning, after a night of tossing and turning, Lili turned up early to the Riverdale stages, where they were filming for the day. She’d woken up at 5 after finally drifting off to sleep only four hours prior to that. Frustrated at having gotten so little sleep, she threw off her covers and picked up her phone to check the time, and saw that she missed a text from Cole.

“KJ still shredding his guitar at 2 am. He claims that the apartment is sound-proof but clearly it’s not inconsideration-proof. Tempted to call cops on ourselves. Live with me? Please? KENETI SUX (don’t tell him I said that).”

It should have made Lili smile. Except that she noted the same strain of worry tugging at her, making her feel anxious. She tried to shrug it off, but as she got up to get ready for the day, she felt it sticking to her ribs and crowding her lungs.

“Lili?” Madelaine walked into out into living room, bleary-eyed and still in her pajamas. The two girls were sharing an apartment in Vancouver, which Lili was grateful for. They were both homebodies, happy to bunker down and watch old episodes of Friends while everyone else was out partying. “What the hell? Are we due on set this early?”

“No, babe. Go back to sleep. We’re due in at 9.” Lili got a mug out and starting spooning coffee granules into it. “I just woke up early, that’s all.”

Madelaine gave her a look as she eyed the coffee container in Lili’s hand. “Uh, Lils? You don’t drink coffee.”

“I know.”

“And that’s my organic, shade-grown, vegan-certified coffee.” She considered Lili carefully. “Are you okay?”

Lili picked up the container and looked at the label. “Huh. Didn’t realise. Should do me fine, though.”

Madelaine walked over to her. “Hey, look at me.” Lili turned, and Madelaine gasped in fake horror. “Okay, whoa, we are gonna need some face masks tonight because those eye bags are killing me, girl. Those are Cole level eye bags.” Lili gave a short, humourless laugh at that. “Honestly though, are you alright? You haven’t been yourself these past few days.”

“I know, Mads. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry. That’s you, and that’s how you feel. Doesn’t matter what it’s about. Don’t apologise for that.” Madelaine rubbed her back, and Lili felt tears welling up in her eyes. She was tired and worried for no apparent reason, and Mads was being so kind and maternal, and it took all of her energy and willpower not to burst into frustrated tears. She turned to her and gave her a quick hug.

“Thanks. I’ll be okay. And, um…” Lili looked pointedly and regretfully at the mug of unmade vegan coffee.

Madelaine rolled her eyes and laugh. “Yep, I’ll get rid of this.”

Lili smiled and headed out the door. “Love you, Mads.”

“Love you too, Lils.”

Lili drove in to the studio lot. There was hardly anyone at the stages when she walked in. Britta, one of the series writers, waved at her happily and came over. “Hey, Lilibeth,” she said, using the crew’s favourite nickname for Lili. “Shit, what time is it? I didn’t know you guys were due to come in already.”

“Nah, you’re fine. I got up early, actually.” On cue, Lili stifled a yawn. “Thought I might as well come to set, get some prep work in.”

“Yeah, well, don’t work yourself too hard just yet. It’ll probably be a while before we start shooting. Have a walk around for now. Hair and makeup should be getting set up soon.”

“Thanks, Brit.”

“No problem. Oh, and hey, is Cole around?”

Lili went still. Why was she being asked about Cole ? Did they know? For some reason, this bothered her more than it should have. “Um, no...? Why?”

“Oh, I’ve just got something on script he needs to check. No biggie. I’ll catch you later, okay?”

Lili picked up a hot chocolate from craft services and walked around the stages, stopping to chat and say hi to people here and there. As sleep-deprived as she was, she was enjoying this - seeing the cameras rolled out across the floor, the set designers hard at work adding little details to each interior, the script supervisors flipping through the scripts and marking things off their lists.

This was the life she had chosen, since age 14. There was no Plan B for her - she decided that for herself a long time ago. It was going to be acting or nothing. And now here she was, in the midst of a dream come true, and yet something was niggling at her, and she couldn’t figure it out.

As Lili walked past the Cooper house stage, she slowed down.

She and Cole would be filming there the next day - their first onscreen kiss. She remembered, with a smile, how they had received the script and read over it together in her apartment, kiss included and all. He played the role of director too, joking that each kiss wasn’t good enough (“Come on, I’m just not FEELING it, Lili.” “Shut up, Cole.” “Make me.” And she did).

Standing here now, though, she felt none of that pure elation and only felt… apprehension. They had joked about it all week since reading the script, but now that they were coming up to it, Lili felt more and more nervous, almost as if…

Hang on.

She stopped in her tracks. The truth finally crashed over her.

It was simple. So simple she couldn’t believe that she hadn’t seen it coming. Her reaction to Cole’s text that morning, Britta’s innocent query regarding his whereabouts...

She was running scared.

It was staring her straight in the face, literally, as she faced the exterior of the Cooper house stage. Here, her work, her dreams, and all the sweat and toil she had invested into them, were about to intersect with a relationship that was still taking its first, tentative steps.

And she had no idea what was going to happen.

Because this wasn’t how the story was supposed to go. Not in her mind. Not when she started out on this path. She had landed the biggest role of her career and the trajectory of her life was meant to be straightforward and predictable from then on.

Cole, however, was an unexpected twist in the tale. She didn’t see him coming, and now that they had collided head-on, she was reeling from the impact.

The questions came to her mind, fast and unbidden.

What if we hold each other back?

What if this doesn’t work?

What happens when people find out?

What happens when we fight?

What if he loses his focus?

What if I lose mine?

And, most painful of all. What if I lose HIM?

Lili walked up the steps to the Cooper house in a half-daze, and she sat herself down on the doorstep to collect her thoughts. The euphoria and afterglow of being with Cole had kept all these questions at bay, but now, as reality was setting in, they were being unleashed, and she was powerless to stop them.

Suddenly, everything she took for granted in the past few months was overshadowed by the cold sting of fear.

Suddenly, she wasn’t sure she wanted this kiss to happen.

…

Lili felt out of sorts for the rest of that day. Thankfully, it was a light day, shooting-wise - just a few filler scenes before they got around to the heavier sequences over the next few days.

Cole arrived on set later in the afternoon, just as Lili was finishing. He was on his way out of the makeup trailer when she stepped in for her clean-up. She was so lost in her thoughts that she bumped into him on the steps leading up.

“Whoa!” he said, laughing as he steadied her by the shoulders. “Has someone been drinking the acetone?”

“Cole,” she breathed out. She felt spooked seeing him, as if her thoughts had materialised this apparition standing in front of her.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Lili racked her brains for something, anything, to say. “So, ah, you’re shooting today?”

Cole gave her a funny look. ”Yeah. I work here, Lils. Not just a pretty face, you know.” He smirked at her, eyebrows raised, lips slightly puckered - a deliberate ‘pretty’ pose. Despite the fact that it was so ridiculous and put on, it still melted her.

“Of course, yeah. Stupid question.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Totally.” She forced herself to smile. “Oh. Hey. I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your text earlier.”

“Which one?”

“KJ shredding guitar at 2 am. Hang on, you sent me another one?” She slipped her hand into her pocket, looking for her phone.

“Yeah, just a few hours ago. I figured you’d be filming.” He chuckled at a sudden memory. “Oh, and as for KJ, I ended up throwing a carrot at his head. Not my most impressive enactment of a visual metaphor - because ‘carrot top’, of course - but it got the message across.”

“You guys actually have carrots at your place?”

Cole rolled his eyes. “KJ juices.”

“Oh. Right.” Despite herself, she giggled at the mental image she had conjured of KJ chopping up vegetables and throwing them into a blender (“Carrots. Pineapple. Ginger. Legends.”).

He smiled at the sight of her laughing. “Hey, so, the text I sent you. Apparently, this place we’re  shooting at in two days? Is haunted as fuck.”

“Really?” She slid the lock button on her screen to open his message, and there it was - a screenshot of an article he’d been reading on Atlas Obscura. She looked at the description and read it out loud. “’Riverview Hospital, historic insane asylum… what untold stories could be uncovered from the relics of an institution that has witnessed the torment of so many personal demons?’ Holy shit.”

“Right?” Cole looked as though all his dreams had come true. “So you in?”

“Am I in? For what?”

Cole gave an enigmatic little grin. “A little urban exploring adventure.”

On any given day, Lili would have jumped at the opportunity. But not today, not after her earlier revelation on the steps of the Cooper house. She wasn’t sure she could take some extended alone time with Cole right now. “Look. It sounds great. But honestly, I am way too much of a wuss for that.”

Cole scoffed. “You? Seriously? Come on. And anyway, I’ll be there. I’ll bring my camera and everything. It’ll be fun.”

“Cole.” Lili was starting to fret inside. She had to dissuade him somehow. This would be in two days. It was going to be the day after their kiss scene. She wasn’t sure how that was going to work, what the aftermath would be.

“What?” His face fell slightly. “You don’t wanna come?”

“Can I just… can I let you know closer to the day?”

Cole shrugged, obviously a little disappointed. “Alright then. Just let me know soon. I want you there, Lils.” He leaned in slightly, his voice dropping. “It won’t be much of an adventure without you.” He looked around quickly before swooping in to kiss her playfully on the cheek, and walked off in the direction of the stages.

Lili felt the outline of his lips on her skin as she watched him leave, and knew that it would stay there for a while.

Don’t do that, she thought. Don’t make me fall harder for you than I’m falling right now.

…

The morning drive felt like a meditation. Lili had woken up extra early to prepare herself for the scene, reading over her script again, reciting it out loud to herself, then repeating it without the paper in front of her.

But that was just a distraction. After all, she was always pretty good with memorising dialogue. On her drive to the set, she was focusing on an entirely different set of words.

It’s just another scene.

It’s just another scene.

It’s just another scene.

She repeated it to herself like a mantra as she drove, and if she had a little bit longer - an extra day, perhaps - she would have eventually believed it. But as she pulled into the parking lot, she felt her palms sweating on the steering wheel, her stomach filling with butterflies. She wondered whether Cole was feeling the same.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t messaged her that morning, hadn’t brought the kiss up in conversation in the past few days. Maybe I’m overthinking this. Maybe it would be fine.

But as she slipped on her costume for the day - Betty’s usual jeans paired with a light, cream-coloured V-neck sweater - she became aware of the same questions plaguing her mind from the day before. What if we hold each other back? What if this doesn’t work? What if I lose him?

It was going to be a long day.

Cole was already at the Cooper house stage when she arrived, drinking coffee and laughing with some of the film crew. He caught her eye as she walked in, and he gave her a soft smile and raised his cup at her by way of greeting. Looking to avoid him, she gave him a quick nod and a wave before finding a spot on a couch on the other side of the room, lying down and closing her eyes.

She wasn’t even aware that she’d dozed off until one of the crew tapped her on the shoulder. She got up, had her ponytail fixed quickly, and nervously ascended the stairs to Betty’s bedroom.

She didn’t even get a chance to speak to him properly before shooting started. Steven, their director, was at the bottom of the ladder outside Betty’s window, talking Cole through the scene. He did the same with her earlier, and as she waited, she stared at the bits of duct tape on the floor that marked her blocking cues. They had blocked the scene fairly quickly, and in that time, she and Cole were both bristling with a nervous energy that prevented them from saying too much to one another. They both sensed the significance of the scene. Roberto, who had written the episode, was taking a rare break from working through scripts and was standing next to one of the cameras, eager to see how the scene would pan out. It was a big day for the series: the birth of Bughead.

The scene as it was scripted would be fairly simple: Jughead would knock on the window, wait for Betty to open it, and say his line. He’d climb through, they’d have their exchange and turn to face each other. After that, it was onto the kiss - bold, swift and immediate, just as Roberto and Tessa had written it in the script. She’d be startled, she’d remember Jason’s car, and they’d end it with their sleuthing dialogue. Easy.

Well, easier said than done, Lili thought.

Soon enough, Steven was standing behind the camera, and the scene was ready to be filmed. “Quiet on the set!” someone yelled. Lili sat at Betty’s vanity, fiddling with her necklace. A chorus of voices signalled the start of shooting.

“Roll it— ”

“We’re rolling.”

“Thirty-three, take one, and—”

“Action!”

A tap on the window. Lili turned around, performing her first beat perfectly. Cole stepped through into Betty’s room, and they moved seamlessly through their blocking - Betty walking ahead of Jughead, turning to him every now and then as they went through their dialogue.

Betty was meant to be distracted in this scene, and Lili played that up, making sure to avoid looking at Cole. But as he said the line “they’re parents, they’re all crazy,” she couldn’t help it - she looked up briefly, and noticed that his own eyes were downcast. That they seemed to be avoiding her.

Well, that’s different. In rehearsals, Cole usually delivered the line straight, with a confident, knowing smirk. Here, Lili could feel a different energy emanating from him, but she couldn’t name it, couldn’t be distracted, not now when was being swept up in the mood of the scene.

“Also…”

Well. Here we are. Jughead’s big line. The prelude to the kiss. She braced herself.

“What?” she replied.

She looked expectantly at Cole. He should have been kissing her by now. Instead, his gaze flitted anxiously over her, his eyebrows drawn together as though in confusion.

Oh my god. Did he forget this part? The air thickened with tension. Lili grew nervous as she felt the room weighing in on them, and she racked her brain desperately, trying to think of what to do as the cameras kept rolling. She decided to cue him in again. It was technically off-script, but never mind - he’d thank her later for stepping in.

She repeated her line, a little more forcefully. “What?”

And then, there. In that flash of a second, she saw it.

Doubt. Hesitation. Fear.

All in his eyes. All mirroring her own.

In that moment, it shocked her. Cole - confident, self-assured Cole - was standing here in front of her in such vulnerability.

And she saw the truth that had eluded her in these past few days, the one she would’ve guessed at, had she been paying attention.

That she wasn’t the only who was afraid.

That he was haunted, too.

But before she could process any of this properly, she was startled back into the present as he visibly switched gears, stepping in swiftly to close the distance between their lips, right when she least expected it.

It was unlike anything they had ever rehearsed or even done in real life. It wasn’t what the script called for. It started out like a cymbal crash, but turned tenuous and tender - a quiet question mark rather than the decisive full stops or passionate exclamation marks that characterised her kisses with Cole.

And she was hopelessly lost, enveloped in this secret part of him that he was unknowingly letting her into. It felt intimate, to be staring into this fissure that he had exposed. It didn’t scare her; it felt right. It threw her into blissful relief, to feel the tentativeness in that kiss, to feel her own uncertainty mirrored and marked onto her lips by his own.

As they parted, she smiled, purely out of reflex. Cole’s hand was still cupping her face, and he released a deep sigh that seemed to take up his whole body.

“Cut.”

Steven’s voice was like a temple bell cutting through the transcendence of the moment, calling them all back to reality. Lili was confused. The scene wasn’t over yet. She turned to the crew and saw that they were all transfixed. Roberto’s eyes were misting over behind his glasses.

“Guys, that was….” He was momentarily lost for words. “That was it. That was the take.”

Britta, who was the script supervisor for the scene, cleared her throat. “Roberto, that wasn’t how you and Tessa planned it on the script here. You okay with that?”

“Am I okay with it?” Roberto shook his head in incredulity and turned to their director, who looked just as moved as the rest of the crew. “What do you think, Steve?”

Steven looked over to Cole and Lili, taking them in thoughtfully, as though he was seeing them in a new light. “I know we still had a few lines to go, but I had to stop it there because I wasn’t sure how you’d play the next beat, and quite frankly, I wanted to make sure that we preserved that on film.”

“Preserved what?” Lili asked.

Steven smiled at her. “Magic.”

…

Before Lili knew it, the scene had wrapped. She was desperate to speak to Cole, but Roberto had already cornered him in what appeared to be a fairly intense conversation. She loitered around for a few minutes, but gave up after they sat down on the couch, apparently settling in for a long discussion.

It was her only scene for the day. Lili made her way back to the makeup trailer in a pensive daze, watching her feet as they measured out her steps. She had no idea how she ended up seated in front of the mirror, with Erin, the head makeup artist on the show, handing her a cotton ball soaked in cleanser.

“Alright, you beauty,” she said, smiling. “Let’s get you cleaned up and on your way home.”

Lili complied, methodically wiping the makeup off her face. She loved this. For her, it was an important part of her day, this literal stripping away of character. And she especially loved doing it with Erin, who had become a close friend to her in the months that they’d been doing Riverdale together, and who was one of the few people who actually knew about her and Cole. Often, she’d sit in the chair long after her makeup had been taken off, having long talks with her and sharing skin care tips and chocolate.

Erin busied herself with cleaning her brushes while Lili wiped off her eye makeup. “So. Everything go alright with the big scene today?”

Lili paused, the cotton ball poised over her eyelid. “Yeah. It went really well, actually.”

“Great.” Erin smiled warmly at her before turning back to her brushes. This was another reason why Lili loved her. She knew when to leave her be.

They were both quiet for a few moments, with nothing but the sound of running water echoing in the empty trailer. Erin tapped the brushes dry over the sink, then turned around and smiled at Lili through the mirror. “All done, then?”

Lili nodded. Erin took the cotton ball from her and threw it in the bin, before handing her a warm towel.

Lili dangled it loosely in her hand, thinking to herself. “Erin?”

“Yes, lovely?”

“What do you do when…” Lili’s voice trailed off, and she pursed her lips, unsure of how to complete that sentence. Erin stood by, waiting patiently.

“What do you do,” she started again, “when you’re absolutely sure that you’re right where you want to be, and you want to move things forward, but for some reason… you’re just scared shitless?”

Erin pulled up a chair right next to her and sat down. “Are we talking about a certain young Jeep-driving photographer here?”

“Well… yes. Partially. But it’s to do with everything else as well.” Lili exhaled a long breath. “Riverdale. Our careers. Everything.”

“Okay.” Erin nodded. “What do you think is making you scared?”

“I don’t know. I keep running through all these questions in my head - questions that maybe I should have been asking myself months ago, but didn’t. Or couldn’t.” Because I was crazy about Cole and still am and everything feels irrelevant whenever he says my name or his hands are on my skin. “Either way, I think they’re all essentially asking the same thing.”

“And what’s that?”

Lili turned her gaze on Erin, her eyes full of worry. “What if this breaks us?” she asked, her voice small. “What if it breaks me? ”

Erin sighed, and took Lili’s hands in hers.

“Lili, how did you get started on all this?”

“What, on Cole?”

Erin chuckled. “No, not Cole, honey. We all know how that started. The boy is very charming. And he was always nuts about you.” Lili smiled at that. “I mean acting. Your career.”

“Well… a lot of auditioning. A lot of getting knocked back.”

“I mean before that. Why did you audition? Why did you keep getting up, even when you got knocked back?”

Lili gave a short laugh. “Because it was the only thing I was good at?”

Erin swatted her arm lightly. “That isn’t even remotely true and you know it. Come on. Tell me.”

Lili paused thoughtfully. “It was the only thing I ever really wanted to do. It’s where my heart was. Or is.” She sighed. “It’s where my heart is.”

“Well.” Erin patted her hand. “Isn’t that your answer, then?”

“My answer? How?”

“Lili. Think about it. Your heart led you to acting. In that process, did it ever betray you?”

“No.”

“Did it ever fail to warn you of danger? Or lead you to the wrong door?

“No.”

“Did it ever leave you high and dry? In all those times when you were auditioning and failing and starting over, did it ever leave you short of passion, or tell you to give up?”

“No.”

Erin leaned forward, making sure that she listened. “Then follow it, Lili. Trust it. It hasn’t led you astray yet, and it won’t start now.”

Suddenly, Lili knew what she had to do.

“Erin…” She had no words. She’ll just have to express her gratitude later. “I’ll be back.”

She stood up and hugged Erin fiercely, before running out of the trailer.

Lili ran to the parking lot, to check if Cole was still around. By sheer luck, she caught him just as he was opening the door to the driver’s seat.

“Cole!”

He turned around, startled. She sprinted to his car, which was on the far end of the parking lot. She hadn’t run for a long time, and soon her legs and lungs were on fire. But she couldn’t stop. Somehow, her body was pushing her forward, propelling her to the only person that mattered right now.

But what was she supposed to say? Now, as she stood in front of him, out of breath, all coherent thought abandoned her.

“I, um…” She put her hand to her chest to control her breathing.

“Lils.” His eyes were wide as he took her in. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just… give me a sec… one moment…”

Cole was caught between looking amused and worried. Wordlessly, he took out a water bottle from his car and offered it to her. She shook her head.

Lili straightened up after a while. “Sorry. Were you leaving?”

He shook his head. “I was just grabbing something out of the car.”

“Oh. Right.” She looked him in the eye, and she was suddenly nervous. “Um. Are you still exploring the abandoned asylum tomorrow?

He looked surprised. “Yeah, I am.”

“Is anyone else going with you?”

Cole smirked. “Nah, I think it’s just me and the ghouls tomorrow. Why’d you ask?”

“Just… I would love to come.” She said it tentatively, worried that things had changed since their scene earlier. “Does my invitation still stand?”

Cole looked surprised at that. “Yeah, of course.” She breathed a sigh of relief. They were fine. Thank god. “But… Lils, I thought you were scared?”

“No,” she replied, smiling. “I’m not scared. Not anymore.”

…

Riverview Hospital in Coquitlam was a sprawling expanse of old, decrepit buildings that extended over a wide acreage of land. It had served many purposes since its inception as The Hospital of the Mind, but had been largely abandoned since the mid-1990s, and was mostly used as a filming location.

Many of the Riverdale crew had already worked there at one point or another, and all of them agreed: while it looked beautiful on film, it was definitely haunted, and none of them liked going anywhere near it.

“Place gives me the creeps,” said one of the lighting guys to Cole as he assembled his camera. “I have no idea why you two are so crazy about going in there. It’s dripping with ghosts.”

But nothing could dissuade Cole, and Lili had her heart set on following him. So as the crew set up the shoot, they went poking about the place, looking for an entrance. Cole was accustomed to urban exploring, while Lili was not, so he ran on ahead of her, rattling various doors and looking for windows they could climb through. Finally, he found one, and Lili felt a rush of affection for him as he poked his head from behind a loose door, his face spread widely into a grin, his hair dishevelled with bits of debris in it.

The entrance he found had a slightly precarious drop, as most of the staircases had crumbled away over time. As Cole took Lili’s hand to help her step in, he said quietly, “You know, there’s like a billion spiders in here.”

Lili yanked her hand away and smacked him on the arm. “Fuck off. I’m out. Seriously, Sprouse. I’m done.”

“Jesus. I was kidding.” Cole’s laugh echoed throughout the empty room. “Anyway, I thought you weren’t scared.”

“Cole, you know I hate spiders.”

“Alright, I’m sorry.” He smiled at her, and she cursed him silently for that smile - that perfect, heartbreaker’s smile that made everything immaterial in its wake. “Shall we?”

Together, they stepped into the room and were hit by the decades-old funk of pent-up dust and refuse and god knows what else. She knew she should have been scared, but somehow she only felt a heavy sort of sadness for what had transpired in the place - this was a mental hospital, after all. Cole seemed to feel it, too, as he suddenly turned quiet and pensive. He lifted his camera and started shooting as they delved further into the building.

They walked through the hospital, exploring long hallways and empty rooms. Cole shot some beautiful images, which he showed her.

“These are brilliant, Cole.”

“You think?” He examined one that he had taken of her standing in a doorway. “Ah. I can do better than that.”

“You’re too hard on yourself.” She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. “Honestly, these are beautiful. As always.”

Cole shrugged to himself, and she followed at a short distance behind him as he kept shooting away.

Now or never. She took a deep breath. “Cole?”

“Mmm?”  

“We, um… we never got to talk about our scene yesterday. The kiss.”

He lowered the camera, turning to look around at her. “What about it?”

“Well, for starters, that wasn’t how we rehearsed it.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, half-smiling. “Well, at one point we were rehearsing it on your couch, with you straddling my lap. So, yeah,” he laughed, “definitely not how we rehearsed it.”

She reddened and smiled at the memory. “You know what I mean. It was off-script. I had to cue you in twice, remember? I mean, it was definitely beautiful, and Roberto obviously loved it...” She crossed her arms. “But why? Why’d you play it differently?”

“I don’t know, I just...” He sighed and looked down. “It felt right, you know? It came out of what I was feeling at that exact, precise moment.”

“Which was…?”

“A whole fucking lot.” He laughed nervously while running his hands through his hair. “I mean, Jughead’s never kissed Betty, right? But you and me, we’ve kissed. We’ve done more than kiss. So, going into the scene, Steven and I were talking, and I realised that I had to access some part of myself that was in the same nervous, anxious place that Jug was at during that point.”

“And what place was that?”

“Can I be honest?” Lili nodded, encouraging him to go on. “It’s this.”

“What, me and you?”

“It is, but it’s more than that.” He scratched his cheek, frowning. “Look, the way I see it, shooting that scene was like a metaphor.”

That wasn’t what she was expecting. “A metaphor?”

“Yeah. For us. And for Riverdale.” He sighed. “There’s me and you, and that’s obviously surreal and incredible. But there’s also everything else - all the pressures of a schedule, the artifice of the set, the scrutiny of everyone around us. You know what I mean? All the noise.”

Lili nodded. Of course she knew what he meant. It was the same thing she’d brooded over on the steps of the Cooper house stage.

Cole went on. “I guess I was just hyper-aware of all of that heading in. The noise became a distraction, and suddenly what was supposed to be a fun scene where I got to kiss this gorgeous girl that I really liked turned into this overwhelming commotion.”

Despite the gravity of their conversation, Lili had to look down to suppress a smile. He called me gorgeous. It never got old.

“That’s why I hesitated, why you had to cue me in twice. I was just caught up in my own head.” He looked at her, his eyes filled with a soft tenderness. “But your voice called me out of that, Lili. When you cued me in the second time, it was... like air. Like breath. And suddenly there was this clarity amidst all the doubt and fear that was clouding my mind.”

Fear. There it was again, that word, lurking over them like a watchful spirit, waiting to see who’d slip up first. The truth, which she had guessed correctly in those tentative seconds after their lips parted, was that they were both scared. They were both calculating the risk, aware that with each day that they found themselves in each other’s arms again, the stakes were being raised, and the questions were stacking up. Is this worth it? Will this stick? Will it stay?

And she was done with it.

Today, she had the answer to silence all her questions. Here, of all places, where fear lived, she was banishing hers.

She took a step towards him, closing the gap between them. “Cole, I need you to listen to everything I have to say without stopping me. Okay? Because if you stop me, I don't know if I can say it all.”

He nodded, and they were both silent. Lili brought her hand up to touch his chest, to feel his heart beating in the palm of her hand. It was strange to see him so still. Cole was always in motion, always talking, always on the move. His heartbeat - steady, constant and faithful - was a reminder of that. But right now, she needed him to stay put.

“When you first told me how you felt about me, back in LA, I was afraid. I was scared of my own feelings, afraid of how much I felt for you, and terrified of where that would take me.”

Cole nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on her.

“But I shouldn’t have been, because every day with you since then has been an adventure. You’ve made me laugh. You’ve given me the craziest stories to tell. You’ve taken me to some of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.” She looked around them. “Except this. Honestly, this place is a mess, Cole.”

He laughed at that, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer.

“A few days ago, I was afraid again, for all the same reasons that you were afraid. Because suddenly everything became real, right?” Cole nodded. “Yesterday’s kiss wasn’t just an onscreen kiss with some random guy. It was a kiss with you. And yes, we were professionals about it, and the scene turned out amazing, but still - the fear was there because I didn’t want any of that noise to get to us.”

She exhaled and looked up at him. “But the noise is always going to be there, right? If it’s not Riverdale, it’ll be something else. And so it’s pointless to be afraid, to run scared. Otherwise, we’d be running this whole time.

“I don’t have all the answers to my questions. And I can’t say that I’ve resolved everything in my mind and that everything will be fine. But... I’m okay with that now. Because being with you has only made me bolder, Cole. It’s given me more courage to be myself, to pursue my passions, to dream bigger dreams. And if I follow where that leads - where my heart leads - I know that it won’t lead me astray. Because it will only lead me to you.”

Lili was tempted to tuck her face into his chest, to look anywhere but into his eyes. But she forced herself to keep her gaze on him - two pools of black, ringed by ocean blue.

“I love you, Cole.” She spoke it in one, swift sentence, and paused as she felt his breath hitch against his ribs. “I think I have for a while now.”

Silence. She could feel the weight of it filling the room to the brim, light driving out darkness.

“This isn’t a bribe, or an ultimatum, or a bargain. You don’t need to say it back. I just…” She shrugged helplessly. “It can’t be helped, and it can’t be kept in. I wanted you to know. You deserve to know.

“So there. I love you. Out of this uncertain but hopeful heart... I love you.”

“Lili? Cole?”

Voices in the distance. They were due back for the scene. The moment was gone, the bubble had burst. Lili was a little disheartened, but grateful that she was able to express herself to him. Maybe it was best this way - to leave their little secret whispered into the walls of the asylum, never to be uncovered.

Except Cole had other plans.

He seized her hand, and before she could ask him what he was doing, they were sprinting down the hallway and further into the building, past rooms she had never seen, past crumbling walls of plaster, eerie chambers that echoed their racing footsteps, broken windows and splintered doors and emptied ceilings.

Finally, they came to a stop in the middle of a large, light-filled room. He turned to her, panting from the run, his ocean blue eyes raging with a passionate storm.

“Lili.” There was something about the way he whispered her name, between ragged breaths, that stirred something deep and urgent in her.

Who started what, they couldn’t tell. But it was Lili who pulled him in by his shirt and Cole who pushed her up against the wall, one hand leaning for support, another flush against the skin on the small of her back. When their lips crashed in the middle, it was anything but tentative or tenuous. It was bold and bruising, frenzied and desperate. It was driven by a need that was both body and soul.

He brought his hands up to hold her face, and she felt him shaking. It startled her. She pulled back and he looked down at her in protest at the lack of contact. She took his hands in her own and brought his palms to her lips, soothing and calming him, wanting to say that it was okay, that this was where fear ended, that she loved him, she loved him, she loved him.

She tilted her head up, closing her eyes, wanting to kiss him again, but she was met with nothing. She glanced up at him.

“What?”

“However long you’ve know,” he said, his voice barely a whisper, “double it. Triple it.”

She stared at him. “Cole, what are you --”

“One day, I promise, I will make it up to you, for not saying it when I knew. For not being as fearless as you are.” He paused to take her in. “Because I love you, Lili Reinhart. I love you with every fucking thing I’ve got.”

His words crashed into her like a wave, pulling her under the current. This time, she was shaking. And crying.

Their small, tear-soaked kisses would gradually deepen into a longer, more searing one, and they stayed that way for a while - oblivious to time, unheeding of the space they were in. Until it felt like there was nothing left to give. Until they had filled themselves with each other. Until the same voices from earlier echoed in the distance, calling their names, calling them back to reality.

They looked at each other. “Well,” he said, “what now?”

She smiled at him. “I suppose we have to go and film.” She kissed the tip of his nose, and he wrinkled it at her. “After that? I don’t know. We’ll see.”

He smiled back at her, and he took her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers.

As they walked back out, passing through the hallways of the abandoned asylum, she felt giddy like a teenager, wanting to etch their names into the walls. Maybe not their initials - too juvenile. But she understood the need: she wanted to mark this place as it marked them.

But what would she write?

Here lies fear, she thought. Here it lies, conquered by love.

…

“So, remind me again why we’re still awake at 3 am.”

Their room at the Queen Anne Hotel was darkened save for a small, antique lamp beside their bed, which illuminated Cole’s bare form next to her. He turned to face her, and as he moved, most of him became obscured by the shadows. But it didn’t matter. Lili had already memorised his face. In some ways, she knew it better than her own.

“Well,” Cole started, “besides the fact that someone wanted toast and eggs at 1 in the morning—”

“Which someone else also enjoyed, leaving me with only HALF of said toast and eggs.”

“True. But yes, besides that fact...” She could sense him smirking in the darkness. “Do I really need to provide a blow-by-blow account of what happened here?”

Lili rolled her eyes. “No, because you’re only going to be gross about it and I don’t want you to ruin my night.”

“Fine then, be boring,” he said. “But to actually answer your question - don’t you remember what I said yesterday? About the witching hour?”

Lili slid under his arm and closed her eyes as she settled her head against his hard, muscled shoulder. “No. Remind me.”

“You never listen to my stories,” he whined.

“Yes, I do. But the witching hour doesn’t sound like something I want to remember while trying to sleep in a notoriously haunted room.”

“Ha. Fair point.” He cleared his throat dramatically. “Okay, Lili, picture it. Prague, 2014. The days were glorious, and the dig was on—”

“And as much as I love a Golden Girls reference, I’m about to fall asleep and you’re about to lose me here.”

“Alright, geez.” He sat up, and forced her to sit up with him. She groaned, but complied. “So a guy I was working with on this archaeological dig in Prague, he’s from Ireland, right? Comes from an extremely superstitious family, whereas he was a little more enlightened. Anyway, on our last night in the lab, we’re both up until 3 in the morning bagging rocks--”

“Sounds like a real rock star lifestyle you had there.”

Cole paused. “Did you just… with that rock pun…? You know what, I’m gonna store that in the back of my mind and comment on its magnificence later. So we’re up at 3, in this dark, dank little lab, and he freaks out a little looking at the time. I asked him if he was okay, and he says to me--”

“Oh my god. Are you about to attempt an Irish accent? Please say yes.”

“Lili, no.” She giggled. “He says to me, ‘Sorry, man. I just get a little creeped out around this time - the witching hour, you see. My ma always went on about it. Kinda hard to get rid of the habit.’”

Lili yawned, but she was intrigued. “So what was it?”

“Apparently, the witching hour - between 3 and 4 am - was usually the most active time for witches, spirits and demons. Something to do with the absence of canonical prayers at that time. But I looked it up afterwards, and it’s a real thing - people swear by it. They say that most ghost sightings happen around that time.”

Lili could have slugged him. “So... you’re telling me... that you’re keeping me up at this ungodly hour... to see if we could sight a ghost?”

Cole smiled sheepishly. “You were up anyway…?”

“Cole!” She was freaking out now. “This isn’t funny!”

“It’s not meant to be!”

They were half arguing, half giggling themselves silly. Lili dove underneath the covers, and Cole followed her in, tickling her mercilessly as she tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

A loud thump from the other side of the wall terrified them, and they both froze. A series of mumbled swear words from another disgruntled guest put them at ease. Not a ghost. Lili sighed in relief.

“Surrender?” Cole asked.

“Surrender,” she conceded.

They lay back down on the bed, still breathless from laughing. He turned to her, and took her hand in his, holding it against his chest.

“Hey. I love you,” he breathed out. “You know that, right?”

Lili turned to look back at him, and smiled. A year of this, and still it gave her a small thrill. What is it about us and saying ‘I love you’ in haunted places? To anyone else, it would have seemed bizarre. But to her, it made perfect sense. Because when they first met, Cole had been nothing more than an apparition that haunted her dreams - a vague half-entity that she knew so little of, that held no form other than the jacket he left her with.

But as time went on, the apparition put on flesh, and he became more real with each memory they created, each adventure they embarked on, each kiss that they shared. And then it wasn��t him that haunted her, but the fear of the uncertain, which they banished with finality at the abandoned asylum.

And now, here they were, in another haunted spot, celebrating a milestone while waiting for actual ghosts. We are the weirdest, she thought. And I love us.

“Lili?”

She snapped out of her thoughts and turned to him. She brought her hand up to caress his face, marvelling that this was real - that it felt real to her beyond what her fingers could touch. That she could feel it in her lungs and in her heart and in her bones.

“Yeah, I know, Cole,” she finally replied. “I love you, too.”

He turned over so that he was looking down at her, then kissed her bare shoulder. “So you staying up with me for witching hour? Could be interesting, right?”

Lili chuckled. “I thought you said you didn’t believe in that shit.”

“I don’t,” he said. “But I’m a skeptic willing to be proven wrong. Just don’t tell Dylan.”

She laughed and nodded and pulled him down for a firm kiss. Why the hell not. “Sure,” she replied.

They snuggled underneath the covers, Cole rattling off anecdotes at random, Lili listening, willing herself to stay awake. Not to witness the supernatural, but to experience the tangible. To experience Cole.

Let the ghosts come, she thought, as he put his arms around her.

She had nothing left to fear.

[travelswithzsubes]

The Golan Trail: A trip report.

Ah, it’s like exercising the old muscles again, writing a report of a trip here. It feels oh so good. I love writing, yet find many excuses all of the time to not spend my time doing it. 

I got the harebrained idea in my mind to hike the Golan Trail in four days. It’s 125K, so you can do the math. It’s basically going from 0 to 60, nothing to something significant. My roommate, however, came through big time. He ended up having pretty much all the gear I needed and more (blow up pillow? sit pad? wind screen?) and donated it to me for the few days I was going to be out in the woods. He is a tzaddik.

I took a bus up to Majdal Shams, a Druze city that is one of the most northern places in Israel. There I stayed in an Airbnb with Ahmed for the night. Ahmed showed up in a pickup truck after talking to the driver of the bus I was on, telling him to make a special stop for me by the gas station. He knows everyone in Majdal Shams, or so he says. “What a cute, petite guy,” he said of the bus driver.

Ahmed offered me whiskey and hookah and told me his family had lived in the area for 1,000 years.

Day 1

The next day, he said, I should call him after 9am so that he could pick me up and take me to the top of the hike, in the Hermon. When I (non-authentically) protested that that was out of his way, he dismissed me with a wave of his hand. “No other way for you to get up there,” he said. And so he drove me around the steep curves, up the mountain, and there I was, by the sign marking the top of trail. I couldn’t believe I had the gear, and the time, and the ability to do this hike - one I have wanted to do for quite a long time. I am incredibly lucky. And I was very happy. 

Me and Ahmed

The beginning.

My goal was to hit 31K per day - something around 19 miles. Each day, though, the morning was, for whatever reason, slow. I didn’t know this would happen on Day 1. But the section from the Hermon back down to Majdal Shams was probably one of the more difficult sections of the entire trail, at least in terms of technical descending. It’s also easy to lose the trail. Thankfully, I had the AllTrails app, which helped me out a ton (I promise I am not getting paid for this). The poles I got from my roommate were incredibly helpful, though. I think they may be a mainstay for me in the future. 

It was beautiful, though. You’re up at 4500 feet or so, and you can see very far. The whole world is ahead of you. 

I find that I get frustrated easily on these hikes. I spent a good 15 minutes at one point going back and forth, trying to find the trail that really wasn’t so difficult to locate. I think I’m pretty bad with directions in the wilderness, for whatever reason. But I got to the bottom of the section, and so began a relatively easy next few kilometers, through Kibbutz Nimrod, Masa’ade, and around a reservoir. Before Nimrod, there’s a point where you can see Kiryat Shemona, Metula, and into Lebanon. It was a lot of downhill on a road, and then it started to go up again after Masa’ade. The landscape was wide open, and you could see pretty much everything around you, including the snowy Hermon peaks, Majdal Shams resting comfortably on the hill, nearby mountains, and so on. It was kind of hazy though. 

The view into Lebanon.

Majdal Shams and Hermon.

The climbing wasn’t hard, but it was there. I stopped for lunch near some cows. It was getting a bit late in the day, and by this point I was getting nervous for timing. I had wanted to get to a point where the trail crossed Route 98 (the highway the trail skirts for most of the way), but I wasn’t sure if that was going to happen. 

The climb then continued, all the way up to Har Odem, which is a bizarre tangle of mining sites and some sort of other contraptions on top. From there, you get a whole other viewpoint south. You really started to see what was left of the Golan, what you had in front of you, what was coming. Mini-volcanic peaks, grasslands, and so on and so forth.

Har Odem.

From there, there was a slight descent. Birds were chirping, and it was beautiful. I still felt pretty good physically and was simply trying to make good time at this point. I knew there was a climb coming my way, but it took longer to get there than the map indicated. A road goes around Har Hermonit to avoid a military installation on top, and so I took that, and hit the top at about 4:30pm - about an hour and a half of daylight to go. But when I looked at the map, it said I had gone a full mile less than what my watch was telling me. I was certainly concerned at this point - everything really had to go perfectly for me to finish in four days.

From here you could see straight into Syria. 

Looking into Syria - signs for land mines.

Hazy sunset.

I got lost at one point, but by virtue of getting lost I passed a sign that told me I was entering the Emek HaBacha - Valley of Tears, so named for being the site of a major battle in the 1973 Yom Kippur War. Now it’s home to the Golan Heights Winery and many wind turbines.

It was getting dark, but I realized I was within a mile of the point I wanted to get to that night. I didn’t quite make it all the way to the road, but I got even closer, and found a nice grassy patch by the site of the trail where I decided to spend the night. After setting up the tent, cooking, and taking care of some phone business (I hate having to use my phone while hiking or camping, but too much was going on in the world that day for me not to, in terms of many things in my life) it was already 9pm by the time I crawled into the tent. Still, I felt OK, physically, and knew I had a long next day ahead of me.

Day 2 

It took me a little while to get out of bed this day. By the time I did all the morning things, it was already 8:45am. That was when I left - later than I wanted to. I knew I was near the town of Merom Golan, and I was hoping to reup on water there (that’s basically how you do it on this trail; there aren’t THAT many water sources, plus I thought I brought iodine with me, but it turned out to be iodine neutralizing flavor tabs, which don’t make water clean, so, yeah...). 

Again I got lost and walked 0.6 miles out of the way, which doesn’t sound like much, but feels like a lot when you have a tight schedule. I walked back, though, and then encircled a reservoir, and eventually arrived at the base of Har Bental, the steepest climb of the trail. It was certainly steep, but the trail was lined with flowers (I haven’t even talked about those yet, they are everywhere; red, purple, white, etc.) and it was a lovely time. There’s also a coffee shop on top called Coffee Anan (a three-way pun, by my count). I duly purchased a cappuccino and filled up on water there. 

Har Bental flowers.

Sculptures at the mountaintop.

 I then kept a fast pace through to the point where I next crossed Route 98, which was already 10 miles in. It was through red flowery fields, and it made for fast walking. This was the first time, though, that I noticed that my left shoe was starting to come undone (the toebox was starting to flap open), and that was scary. I also felt some blisters starting to form.

But things kept going. A friend actually met me for a short part of the trail here, and had a car, so I was able to drop my pack in the car and continue on (we met up along the trail, but the car ended up being parked near that night’s camping spot). I flew through the next miles, even though there were three separate small climbs. It went fast, and I felt pretty good, even all the way up to Mile 16. More views of Syria from the top of the climbs.

After descending the final climb (Har Chozek) I ended up in a grassy field, and it was just so peaceful. Cows lounged around, and I even saw some wild horses. You could still see pretty far into the distance, but there was green all around you. I was quite happy.

Wild horses.

All day, every day.

This was my longest day, but physically I felt mostly OK, although I did notice I was starting to feel pretty tight. My feet were hurting, and I had blisters. My shoes weren’t in great shape. When I didn’t move anywhere for 10 minutes and then moved again, I felt like I couldn’t walk so well. And I still had two days to go. It didn’t feel all that promising at this point. 

This was also quite a chilly night. I slept through the night, but the camping spot at Choresh Chushnia wasn’t so great (lots of wonderful cow poop smells), and foxes were howling very near us. At one point my headlamp caught their eyes, and all I saw were two beady red dots in the distance, staring at me. Spooky! There was a small moon, though, and the stars were out, and there was a wide open sky. Perfect.

Day 3

The elevation profile for this day told me that it would be all downhill. That wasn’t really true, but any climbing that happened on this day really wasn’t so bad. I was counting on blowing through this day quicker than the others, though, especially after a relatively slow start. That did not happen.

Cattle gates. Endless. I didn’t take a picture of one, probably because I was just constantly frustrated by them. You turn to your left, pass through the first part of it, oh, watch out for that barbed wire, turn to your right, make sure you don’t tear the sleeping pad bound to your pack, oh, you can’t fit through? Take off your pack, lift it above your head, risk your back health, and take valuable time.

And repeat the same thing 400 meters later.

So that was annoying. The hiking was also on top of a mini-ridge that followed a stream. It was certainly beautiful, but it was a bit slow. There was one point where I went the wrong way and ended up walking through a barbed wired surrounded gate into a wet stream, another time where I slipped and my feet were muddied (remember, my shoes were falling apart at this point). I was frustrated.

But I found a mini-waterfall in which to swim. The hiking was beautiful - real grassland hiking, long plains stretching out westward and forever. There is also a strange, Stonehenge-like arrangement of rocks at one point along the trail (called Rujum al-Hiri), which historians cannot really explain. Combine that with faster walking in the middle part of the day and I was in a better mood by lunchtime.

Grassland hiking.

Swimming waterfall.

I went around another reservoir and found myself next to a large canyon right around the time to break for lunch. That canyon came out of nowhere, and it was stunning. The trip guide told me I would have an opportunity to hike down into the canyon (here it was called the Gamla Natural Reserve) and I was excited to do so.

But I was pretty tired at this point. This was the point where really everything started to hurt. My feet, my heels, every muscle in my legs, muscles that I didn’t even really know I had.

Still, the walking was good after lunch. I kept a consistent pace, and made decent time, even though I was hurting. It was only when I started to go down towards the canyon that I started to feel that familiar marathon-race type pain, the one where your body simply wants to shut down but you have to push through it. It was scary, a little bit. I was not feeling good, and I still had a long ways to go. And I could see the sun starting to drop in the sky, just a little bit.

But the canyon was honestly maybe the most beautiful part of the entire trip. Cows grazing, red flowers, lush greenery - and, at the bottom, a shaded water crossing that led to the Syrian Bridge crossing in the area (unclear to me, exactly, its historical significance).

Look closely and you’ll see red.

Awesome river crossing.

From there, another climb. After the climb, I got my first view of the Kinneret of the entire trip - a goal to work towards. I was exhausted, though - I was about to hit 17 miles on the day, and wasn’t sure where I would camp.

Kinneret visible between the mountains.

I reached the end of that particular hiking section, though, and it informed me that after a 2 mile descent, I would reach sea level, and a camping spot (at Mifgash HaNachalim, where two streams would meet). I had enough daylight for that left - about an hour. I walked (poorly) downhill for two more miles, and made it - but was met at the bottom with three water crossings. I took my shoes off for the first one, but the next two I plodded through - I was too tired at this point to keep taking my shoes off and putting them on, especially when the shores themsleves were probably my biggest burden at this point. 

At the campsite, a father-son duo watched me as I trudged through the final water crossing. “Why did you go through the water?” they asked. “There is a way around!”

The final insult. There always is one.

I cooked dinner, put up my tent, and finally got my shoes off. An unbelievable feeling. My feet were wet, blistered, and doomed to remain wet for the rest of the trip, I knew. One more day, though. Another 20 miles, but one more day.

(I heard some suspicious panting outside my tent, though, and thought for a second it might be a wild boar. But, in the end, nothing happened.)

Day 4

I needed to get out early on this day - and I basically did. I was out and hiking by 7:30am, but not before hearing some rain pitter-patter on my tent in the morning. Luckily it only lasted a minute or two. It didn’t matter, really - everything was basically wet and muddy at this point.

The morning began with a climb, which went fine. But I got lost (thank you to the angel at the top of the climb who pointed me in the right direction) and then, while hiking though heavy underbrush, lost again. I tried to bushwhack to find the trail, but it was no use. The trail was nowhere to be found. This was insanely frustrating, but fit in with the common theme of unexpectedly difficult mornings the entire trip. 

But I was able to stay on some sort of dirt path and make my way uphill toward Givat Yoav - a kibbutz. I had to open and close a few gates to get there, but once I was there, I was near the trail again. There had been more views of the Kinneret along the way.

Getting lost had cost me some mileage, but it also put me further along the trail, meaning there was a small section that I actually didn’t end up doing. I’m intense about such things, and spent brain power feeling bad that I had “skipped” part of the trail - the part that went very close to the Kinneret, no less. (I felt better when later in the day I met someone else who had also gotten hopelessly lost in the same place.) And, in Givat Yoav, a very nice young man offered me water, and I got a chance to look at the kibbutz sheep. Overall, an insanely peaceful time. 

Morning viewz.

Givat Yoav.

I did take a small side trip to check out the section I had skipped (after I took my pack off). My bad side told me I hadn’t done the whole trail since I had skipped it - but I ended up doing more than the mileage the trail actually is, so I choose to not believe that bad side of myself. I did the whole trail, dammit.

“Skipped” section.

From there was a long down and up to the Golan Amphitheater. The trail moved away from the Kinneret side, eastward, and went down a long descent past other kibbutzim, before eventually making its way uphill to that spot. It didn’t take that long, though, and there were plentiful flowers along the way. With about 8 miles left, I was starting to smell the end. I ate a three-tortilla lunch and took a little more time than normal at lunch. I’m good, I thought.

I thought the next section would be similar to the last - a long descent, followed by a long ascent, not too bad. And that is basically what it was - but the long descent was technical, down to Meitzar Stream, and then the walking along the stream was covered in low trees and grass. Not the fastest hiking - but honestly some of the most lush, stunning landscapes of the whole trip. Everyone should go to Meitzar Stream - just a beautiful waterway nestled inside the Golan.

Golan flowers.

Top of Nachal Meitzar.

The Meitzar trail.

It was slow hiking, and then to climb out of there, you had to hike up a long, paved road that led you back up to the plain. That was endless and at this point I really could barely move. Someone offered me a ride - how tempting! But in the end, I saw the top, and to my left, Syrian villages were visible, beyond them Jordanian mountains. I knew I had a Kinneret view coming up to me soon - even though I got lost one more time and had to walk an extra half mile, just for good measure.

When I arrived at the last trail section (I don’t think I mentioned the trail is divided up into 15 sections, with moderately inaccurate information on each side that introduces each section) I knew I had 5K to go, even though the sign was telling me 7K (blatantly false). 

I allowed myself to smile a bit on the easy way down to Ein Teufik and to the bottom of the hike. I had done this section with my parents a couple of years ago, and while not the most impressive trail, you do get amazing Kinneret views. I saw people doing some sort of paragliding in the sky. “You look tired,” one guy watching the spectacle said to me. And I was.

At the end.

I met a couple guys at the end of the hike who had taken five days to do the whole trail. In retrospect, four days was crazy. I sit here four days later and I still am sore (although a massage last night helped a bit). Still, they accompanied me to the end, and it was nice to have partners in crime to finish the trail with, with a big whoop at the finish.

There were certainly points where I didn’t think I would make it.

We all needed to hitchhike down from the trail. Within 15 minutes, I was in the car with a very nice couple who drove me way further than I had expected - all the way to the airport area, where I caught a bus back to Jerusalem. I sat in their car, eating kohlrabi they offered me, pleased to be off my feet, looking forward to that best moment - when I would peel off my wet socks and the underfitted shoes on my feet and sit down, in a room, just for one second.

Hitchhiking from here.

54,000 steps in a day - maybe a record?

In the end, of course it was worth it. I think I get frustrated easily by little things on these hikes, and judge myself for not going as fast I the impossible standard I hold myself to. I don’t always see the green that is inevitably there. A lesson - to take deep breaths, know that it’s going to work out, even if the sun is setting and you’re getting lost and your feet hurt. It’s really OK - more than OK, really. Downright flowery and beautiful.

[starlightomatic]

I am a Jew living in Israel, and one day, I'd like to move to another country. I am terrified of being a Jew in this world, yet my ancestry is famous for Russian antisemitism and I know there are parts of Judaism I don't want to leave, like Channukah or passover or even riding down the blocks on scooters and bikes as a kid on yom kippur. I don't say it online, ever, and I'm terrified it'll result in me being hated or blocked or just, well, simply having no friends or someone who supports me.

Yeah. I. Yeah. It’s starting to feel like America might be unsafe for Jews soon, and we know Israel is (even though I do wanna move there one day). Sometimes I wonder if I should move to a random country that either doesn’t care about us either way (like Japan) or actively likes us (like South Korea). But I feel like even there it would somehow come back around someday. So the only way to do it would be to renounce everything about judaism and jewishness and make sure if I have kids it’s with someone who isn’t jewish.

And I’m? Not willing to do that because I don’t want to but I still ask myself, why don’t I? Why is this religion and culture worth endangering myself and my future kids and my future grandkids and on and on? Do I just remain Jewish bc it’s what I’ve always done and the idea of stopping is far fetched and wild to me? But on the other hand I sometimes ask myself whether it’s worth it. Even though changing myself because of people who hate me goes against so much of who I am as a person.

Plus if I stopped being Jewish I’d be really sad and upset and feel like I was missing something huge. I’m not sure it’s a hole I could ever fill. So I’m still coming down on the side that it is worth it to keep doing this, and tbh I don’t think that will change, but that doesn’t mean I don’t ask myself. It’s… yeah.

Anyway if this is too real for ppl I’m gonna tag it with “starlightomatic gets real” and you can blacklist that

[pllsetskyonice]

Europe’s Biggest Party

Yuuri Katsuki/Victor Nikiforov

2,351 words

AO3 link

Victor loves Eurovision and no one can convince me otherwise. Dedicated to @clairles who I’ve spent most of the past week screaming about Eurovision with.

(I rewatched practically all of the final for this, send help)

13 May, 21:45

Victor renamed the chat Europe’s Biggest Party

Victor added Yuuri Katsuki, Yuri Plisestsky, Emil Nekola, Christophe Giacometti, Michele Crispino and Sara Crispino

Victor: IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN

Yuuri: ...what is it?

Victor: IT’S EUROVISION

Yuuri: oh

Yuuri: that’s the singing competition right?

Victor: Yes! I know we’re not all partying together but we can still scream over messages

Christophe: Russia aren't even competing this year though?

Victor: Yes I am aware, we're still going to watch it though because it's Eurovision and we must

Victor: And stfu Chris, Switzerland didn’t get past the semis with your entrant who looked like she’d stolen the dress from Beauty and the Beast

Emil: Czech Republic didn’t get to the finals either *sobs*

Michele: Italy did!

Victor: Italy pays to be there.

Yuuri: I’m confused?

Victor: Italy is part of the “Big 5”, which is the five counties (Germany, Spain, France, Italy and the UK) that make the biggest financial contributions to the European Broadcasting Union. They, along with the host nation, automatically get into the final

Yuuri: Oh I see!

Yuri added Otabek Altin

Victor: what’s he doing here Kazakhstan wasn’t invited

Yuri: Japan wasn’t either yet Katsudon is here

Yuri: Anyway he’s here watching it with me so I thought I might as well add him

Christophe: Oh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yuri: gtfo chris

//for Israel, add 01//

Victor: HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GO

Yuri: jfc anyone would think you’re excited or some shit

Victor: me? Excited for Eurovision? What do you think this is?

Victor: OOOH ISRAEL IS UP FIRST NICE

Christophe: I voted for them in the semi finals I think?

Victor: a good choice

Otabek: I like the stage with how they’re making it look like a galaxy

Christophe: drinking game for tonight: take a shot every time you see a piece of white clothing on stage

Emil: don’t

Emil: if you saw the semis you’ll know that it looks like a bridal boutique at Eurovision this year and that will end with alcohol poisoning lmao

Christophe: YUURI YOU’RE IN RIGHT?

Yuuri: …no? I want to enjoy my first experience of Eurovision sober

Christophe: spoil sport

Christophe: being drunk just makes it more fun, just saying

Otabek: this song is very repetitive

Yuri: yeah well, welcome to Eurovision

//for Poland, add 02//

Emil: A wild violin appears

Victor: Did someone leave the door open? It looks there’s a draft on stage with her hair blowing like that

Christophe: *pours a shot*

Yuri: what’s going on with her dress I’m so confused

Victor: me too

//for Belarus, add 03//

Christophe: oh wow I’m don’t even know how many shots I’ve got to do for this one

Yuri: Many.

Yuuri: what language are they singing in?

Victor: Belarusian I think

Yuuri: well whatever it is the song sounds fun

Yuuri: I like it

Emil: not sure why they’re on a boat but I sure as hell want to dance on one now

Yuri: SAME

Yuri: WHERE DO I GET A BOAT

Christophe: aaaand they’re kissing

Christophe: what’s the betting the Yuuri and Victor are doing the same?

Otabek: High.

Victor: stfu all of you

Christophe: AHA! HE DIDN’T DENY IT!

Victor: chris I s2g

//for Austria, add 04//

Yuri: wow the dreamworks boy has grown up

Emil: think you need a few more shots chris

Christophe: I regret agreeing to this

Christophe: I feel like it was a mistake

Victor: you’re the one that started it in the first place!

Christophe: that’s a ~minor detail~ stfu

//for Armenia, add 05//

Yuuri: Is it just me or does Armenia remind you of welcome to the madness?

Yuri: Bitch stole my lighting cues I want them back

Victor: what on earth is she wearing

Victor: chain mail? Is this the 1500s?

Yuri: her jewellery is great though

Christophe: I’m having mixed feelings about the dancing tbh

Emil: same

Otabek: idk I think they work

//for The Netherlands, add 06//

Christophe: coming soon to some movie credits near you

Victor: their outfits are so sparkly

Victor: I LOVE THEM

Michele: song is shit though

Yuri: ^^

Sara: I like it!

Michele: I take it back it’s not that bad

//for Moldova, add 07//

Victor: EPIC SAX EPIC GUY EPIC SAX GUY EPIC SAX GUY

Emil: a hero has returned

Yuuri: ??

Victor: they first competed in 2010 and the saxophonist became a meme after

Victor: he’s a legend

Yuri: wtf is this dancing

Christophe: Bridal Wear 2017 by Moldova

Christophe: I suppose I’d better pour some more shots

Yuri: you’re damn right

//for Hungary, add 08//

Victor: WHERE DO I GET HIS JACKET I WANT IT SO BADLY

Christophe: I’m feeling personally attacked by all this white clothing tbh

Emil: ah

Emil: another wild violin player

Otabek: I’m actually really liking this song

Yuri: it’s certainly not the worst we’ve seen so far

//for Italy, add 09//

Yuri: @michele @sara pls explain wtf is going on with your country’s entry

Sara: I wish I knew

Otabek: someone should tell them that harambe is so last year

Michele: NEVER WE ARE STILL IN DENIAL

Yuuri: this is very colourful

Christophe: at least that means I don’t have do so many shots lmao

//for Denmark, add 10//

Yuri: Isn’t the singer Australian?

Victor: Yes but she moved to Denmark recently

Yuri: like a suspiciously recently kind of recently?

Victor: quite possibly

Christophe: HER DRESS IS RED THANK GOD

Yuuri: I think her shoes might be white though?

Christophe: STFU NO THEY’RE NOT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS

//for Portugal, add 11//

Victor: SALVADOR!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Yuri: aren’t they one of the favourites to win it?

Yuuri: you know when you described Eurovision to me this wasn’t quite what I was expecting

Victor: yes they are! And yeah I get that haha

Victor: it’s certainly something different to what we usually expect at Eurovision haha

Victor: I think I like it though

Yuri: I don’t

Yuri: MAKE IT STOP

Christophe: on the topic of making it stop

Christophe: oh look it’s the hosts

Otabek: lmao

//for Azerbaijan, add 12//

Yuri: okay what’s going on here

Yuri: I mean I like the song but WHAT’S WITH THE HORSE HEAD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

Michele: following italy’s example by including an animal in their choreograph

Sara: or the head of one I guess

Christophe: this is making my head hurt I’m so confused

Victor: same

//for Croatia, add 13//

Emil: ANOTHER VIOLIN

Emil: THIS TIME WITH ITS BIG BROTHER THE CELLO

Christophe: you vs the guy she told you not to worry about

Yuuri: what is going on here

Otabek: I’m really in two minds whether this works or not

Victor: I think it does

Victor: ESPECIALLY WITH THE STRINGS I LOVE IT

//for Australia, add 14//

Yuuri: I like Australia’s song! The guy is only seventeen he’s so talented!

Victor: YUURI WE’RE GETTING DIVORCED

Christophe: phichit better not see this haha

//for Greece, add 15//

Christophe: Someone tell Greece their paddling pool looks a bit shit compared the fountain Jedward brought in 2012

Yuri: You Tried™

Victor: If you're going to bring water on stage at least make an effort

Victor: Real talk though why did Ireland stop sending Jedward to represent them? They were basically made for Eurovision

Christophe: they really were

Christophe: I miss them

Christophe: this song is quite catchy though, I like it

//for Spain, add 16//

Otabek: this sounds kind of like Bruno Mars

Otabek: or some knock off version of one direction

Yuri: MAKE IT STOP

Victor: they can definitely stop with those shirts

Victor: hideous garments

Yuri: oh god that voice break

Yuri: I cringed so bad

Otabek: same

//for Norway, add 17//

Christophe: I think daft punk might be missing one of its masks?

Christophe: ooh it lights up

Christophe: pretty

Yuri: I’ve had enough of this song already someone make it stop pls

Otabek: idk I think it kind of works?

Michele: CHRIS THAT SHIRT IS WHITE I HOPE YOU’RE DOING ANOTHER SHOT

Christophe: …I came out to have a good time…

Victor: crying

Victor: OMG MANS

Yuuri: who?

Victor: he won in 2015 for Sweden and then co-hosted it last year

Victor: he’s a hero and everyone loves him

//for the United Kingdom, add 18//

Christophte: ah, the UK

Christophe: the one country you don’t need to feel threatened by in Eurovision

Sara: idk I think this is song is actually pretty solid? I like it

Victor: it’s another ballad we don’t need another one of those

Victor: also I don’t like the dress

Otabek: the stage looks cool though

Sara: and she can definitely sing

Sara: I think they’ll do better than last year

//for Cyprus, add 19//

Yuri: I want his jacket

Yuuri: I love what they’re doing with the lights and the stage

Otabek: same

//for Romania, add 20//

Victor: Now here is a true Eurovision song

Christophe: exactly, where else would you here yodelling and rapping in the same song?

Yuri: Yodeleeii, yodeleioo

Emil: I WANT THIS TO WIN

Otabek: this is crazy and I love it #Romania2018

Otabek: (Yuri is singing along I just thought you all should know)

Yuri: WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY ME IN THIS WAY

Yuri: I TRUSTED YOU

//for Germany, add 21//

Otabek: yeah hi germany David Guetta called he wants his song back

Yuri: lmao it actually sounds so much like titanium

Otabek: swear it’s like exactly the same chords

Victor: it wouldn’t be Eurovision without a song that sounds dubiously like an actual pop song

Christophe: haha true

Victor: EUROVISION CHOIR OF THE YEAR? WELL I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING IN JULY NOW

//for Ukraine, add 22//

Yuri: OH YES IT’S THE ONE OBLIGATORY ROCK SONG OF THE NIGHT

Yuri: I LOVE IT

Otabek: we’re barely thirty seconds in

Yuri: I don’t care

Yuri: I LOVE IT OKAY

Yuuri: I’d ask why there’s a massive head on the stage but I’ve learnt now that there’s probably little to no reasoning behind it

Victor: I mean you’re not wrong haha

//for Belgium, add 23//

Christophe: I think it reminds me of something but I don’t know what

Otabek: the beginning sounds a bit bastille-like? Maybe? Idk

Sara: I love the flowers on her dress

Emil: Solid song, I’m loving it #Brussels2018

Victor: no, #Lisbon2018

Yuri: it’s quite obviously going to be Romania stfu

Yuri: “authentic tv host smile”? lol no that has got to be two of the creepiest smiles I’ve ever seen

Victor: lmao true

//for Sweden, add 24//

Christophe: *starts backstage bc it’s the only thing that’s going to make this song stand out*

Victor: I CHOKED

Yuuri: ...are those treadmills?

Victor: Yes, yuuri, they are.

//for Bulgaria, add 25//

Victor: he was born in THIS CENTURY

Victor: I feel so old

Yuuri: what’s with all the talented 17 year olds tonight

Sara: MY SMOL SON

Otabek: this better win

Otabek: one of the best songs of the night

Emil: you still doing shots chris? His shirt is white

Christophe: WHO DRESSED THIS KID I’M HAVING WORDS WITH THEM I THINK I’M DYING OVER HERE

//for France, add 26//

Victor: we’re on the last song what the hell where’s the last two hours gone

Yuuri: I don’t know but it’s been fun

Sara: omg her dress

Sara: I want

Christophe: France: puts the Eiffel tower in the background whilst singing in French in case you’re in any doubt about what country this song is from

Otabek: why couldn’t Bulgaria end the show their song was so much better than this

Yuri: true though

//lines are now open//

Victor: OMG OMG VERKA VERKA

Yuuri: another Eurovision hero?

Victor: how did you know

Yuuri: just a feeling

Victor: those of your who are able to, I hope you’re voting

Sara: of course!

Yuri: um.

Yuri: Ukraine what’s this interval act I’m so confused

Otabek: I like it

Otabek: It’s different

Christophe: OH MY GOD DID WE ALL SEE THE BUTT

Victor: YES

Victor: YES WE DID

//lines are now closed//

Emil: well, I’m sensing a trend here

Emil: “12 POINTS TO PORTUGAL” “12 POINTS TO PORTUGAL”

Victor: that’s not a bad thing! They’ve never won it

Otabek: Bulgaria is doing well too

Yuri: they’re still miles behind Portugal though

Victor: OMG A DOGGO

Yuuri: it’s not as cute as makkachin though

Victor: ♥‿♥ ♥‿♥

Victor: well of course Cyprus were going to give their 12 points to Greece that wasn’t a surprise

Yuri: oh my god this is so tense

Yuri: even though unless something shocking happens in the popular vote it looks like Portugal is going to win

Victor: the popular vote will be even tenser

Emil: well here we go

Christophe: Portugal has won the jury vote but idk Bulgaria might just pull it out the bag in the popular vote

Yuuri: this is worse than waiting for your score after skating

Christophe: lmao true

Victor: okay down to final four

Otabek: COME ON BULGARIA

Otabek: …no

Otabek: apparently not

Victor: YESSSS!!! SALVADOR!!!!

Christophe: I demand a recount

Emil: I mean, I’m not that salty about him winning? 53 years in the contest and this is the first time they’ve won it, there’s hope for us all

Victor: true

Victor: I like that he won HOWEVER what’s this speech did he just drag the rest of the competition I think he’s in the wrong place for a speech like that

Victor: this is Eurovision not the last night of the proms

Sara: he’s brought his sister onto the stage, I cry

Christophe: okay this is sweet

Victor: well, there we go, over for another year

Victor: did everyone enjoy it? Especially those of you who were watching it for the first time?

Otabek: I loved it

Yuuri: me too! We should throw a Eurovision party next year and invite everyone! Is that a thing?

Victor: YES

Victor: YES THAT’S A THING

Victor: I’M GOING TO START PLANNING NOW

Christophe: It’s going in my diary now I do hope you realise this

Victor: of course I do! SEE YOU ALL NEXT YEAR! #LISBON2018

[norahpuckerman-blog1]

the sinners are much more fun...

a playlist for your favorite inappropriate bitch with mentions of Puckat and Quick (and three songs performed by Liz)

This week, Spotify brings you the lead guitarist/part-time lead singer of The Sirens, Norah Puckerman, and her top eleven songs. Check out her choices and, of course, check out tickets and dates for Norah and the rest of The Sirens on Persephone’s Tour!

1. “Animal″ by The Sirens

I’m an animal in a midnight summer heat I slay my prey and lay my body down at your blessing feet...

I love playing guitar or singing co-lead with Mars Bar, but I love when I get to sing lead every now and then. This song has been so much fun to perform on tour and it’s pretty fitting for my whole personality.

I’m an animal for you

2. "Vienna” by Billy Joel

You've got your passion, you've got your pride But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?

I wanted to make this whole playlist Jewish artists, particularly my man Billy, but I managed to narrow it down to three. Anyways, this is one of my favorite songs to cover by him, which yeah I’m sure shocks everyone who knows me at all. It’s beautiful and touching and such an underrated gem.

[In true Norah fashion, she won’t talk about how this song was about Billy’s father leaving and, yeah, it’s relatable to her. Relatable AF.]

Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

3. “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen

Don’t stop me now If you wanna have a good time, just give me a call

The ultimate party song! Need I say more? Freddie was the master and if I could have even half of his ability and confidence and charisma and ENERGY, I’d call myself a lucky ass bitch.

I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

4. “Faithfully” by Journey

They say that the road ain't no place to start a family Right down the line it's been you and me And lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be...

Classic tour song, right? You’ve gotta talk about how hard it is to be away from your family.

[Norah also thinks about this a lot; how can she ever have a family if she plans on touring and performing? She won’t even let herself admit she wants a family, of course, because it’s very off brand, but...there ya go.]

Oh girl, you stand by me I’m forever yours, faithfully...

5. “Only the Good Die Young” by Billy Joel

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints The sinners are much more fun

This is my theme song and you all know it. I have nothing else to say.

[The Quinn/Norah theme song]

You know that only the good die young...

6. “Liability” by Lorde

They say, "You're a little much for me You're a liability You're a little much for me." So they pull back, make other plans

Lorde is so much more than “Royals”. That’s a great song, but she has a nice, slow side to her which I love as an artist. She’s cool in my book and I’d love to collab with her some day - even if she boycotted Israel.

[Norah’s unofficial theme song. She definitely feels like she’s a bit too much for everyone and is meant to be a one-night-stand sort of person.]

I understand, I'm a liability Get you wild, make you leave I'm a little much for E-a-na-na-na, everyone 

7. “Thunder Road” by Bruce Springsteen

Well, I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk And my car's out back if you're ready to take that long walk From your front porch to my front seat The door's open but the ride ain't free

I gotta include Jersey’s favorite son! I love the Boss! While I normally go for “Born to Run”, I figured I’d rec something new for your audience. This song is not as well known as it should be, but it’s probably my favorite. Basically my high school life in one song, if ya know what I mean.

And I know you're lonely for words that I ain't spoken But tonight we'll be free, all the promises'll be broken

8. “Rock N Roll” by Avril Lavigne

I don't care about my make-up I like it better with my jeans all ripped up

Okay I used to be ashamed of it, but whatever; I love me some Avril Lavigne. She’s fun and she makes for some great drunken karaoke songs. The music video for this song is fucking hilarious, and this is a great song to jam to any day of the week.

Don't know how to keep my mouth shut You say, "So what?" (What)

9. “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel

Uptown girl You know I can't afford to buy her pearls

I warned you I’d have a lot of Billy Joel. He’s the man and this song is catchy as FUCK. 

[While this has shades of Quinn/Norah, when it comes to the real mood, it’s truly Puckat in this universe. To Norah, Kat is that “uptown girl” who she’d have to win, because there’s no way Kat could like her!!! Right??]

But maybe someday when my ship comes in She'll understand what kind of guy I've been And then I'll win

10. “Wild Horses” by The Rolling Stones

Childhood living is easy to do The things you wanted I bought them for you

The ultimate love song and possibly the most beautiful song ever.

[Future Puckat song]

Graceless lady you know who I am You know I can't let you slide through my hands

11. “You’ll Never Be Alone” by The Sirens

I love my girls so much. That’s all I can say.

[topfygad]

11 Tips for backpacking in Oman on a budget

Oman, a country with absolutely great outdoors and fascinating people, should be a real paradise for adventurous, budget backpackers but, unfortunately, it is a surprisingly expensive destination. 

Like all Gulf Monarchies, the Government has primarily focused on promoting luxury tourism, which means that budget hotels are practically non-existent and you won’t find any backpacker hostels, not even in Muscat. 

On top of this, the public transportation system in Oman sucks, plus the cities are not walking friendly at all, so, during your journey, you will have to rely on either renting a car or taking a lot of cabs. 

However, spending little money in Oman is very possible.

I actually backpacked in Oman for over a month, traveling from north to south and visiting everything in between, and I swear that I spent less money than in other backpacking destinations, such as Kyrgyzstan or Georgia. 

In this post, I will tell you several tips for backpacking in Oman on a super low budget.

    Index:

11 Tips for successful budget backpacking in Oman How much does it cost backpacking in Oman on a budget? More useful tips

Remember to have proper travel insurance for both Israel and Jordan. For this, I recommend you read: How to find the best travel insurance

  11 Tips for successful budget backpacking in Oman

My 11 best tips:

Public transportation sucks but hitchhiking is very doable

In one entire month, I only took two taxis within Muscat (2.50OR-6.50USD each) and the 12-hour bus from Muscat to Salalah (7OR – 18USD). 

Then, I hitchhiked back to Muscat through the coastal road and visited pretty much any spot in between. 

I calculated it and, in total, I hitchhiked over 1,400km.

Seriously, hitchhiking in Oman is super easy and, during all that time, I think the maximum I waited for a lift was 20-25 minutes, and that was because I was standing on a road with very little traffic on a Friday, so most of the few cars that passed by were families and, if there are women inside and you are a man, they are unlikely to pick you up. 

From trucks driven by Indians to wealthy Omanis driving extravagant 4×4, Western tourists and even Bedouins with their pickups, except for families, everybody in Oman is willing, and happy, to pick up a random foreigner. 

Sometimes you have to hitchhike in roads like this one but trust me, someone will eventually pass by

  And pretty often, Omanis are willing to make big detours, so they can drop you as close as possible

Something you need to know about Omani people is that, on the one hand, they are really nice, kind and hospitable to foreigners and, on the other, many of them don’t work, or just work a few hours a day, so they have a lot of free time.

It happened to me several times – really, several times – that I was going in a completely different direction, yet, the Omani insisted in taking me to my actual destination, even if that involved him driving 60-80 additional kilometers, no kidding. Omanis are awesome. 

I had similar experiences when I was backpacking in Pakistan. 

Read: How to visit Saudi Arabia – Tips & tricks

  If you are hitchhiking, don’t rush and don’t plan much

Omanis are extremely hospitable so, when hitchhiking, expect Omanis to invite you to their house before you continue with your journey. 

Telling them ”no” would not be polite, so always say ”yes”, but this also means that when backpacking in Oman, your plans will be constantly changed, thanks to the Omani hospitality. 

You may experience this all around the country but it particularly happened to me when I was hitchhiking in Central Oman, the least visited part of the country and a land of Bedouins. That inhospitable part of Oman is composed of a road several hundred kilometers long with absolutely nothing but desert and occasional tiny villages inhabited by Bedouins. 

Well, there wasn’t almost a single Bedouin who didn’t want me to hang out at his place after dropping me off, which led to me having a very high heart-rate due to the 20 cups of qahwa (local cardamom coffee) I had to swallow in one single day. 

That delayed my trip significantly but, if you want to enjoy the country to the fullest, go with the flow and don’t rush.

Read: A guide to visit Musandam in Oman

With a family of Bedouins, somewhere in Central Oman

  You will also need to hitchhike within cities, even in villages

From Muscat to Salalah, the different towns and villages in Oman are some of the least-pedestrian-friendly places you may ever encounter. 

They are always so spread out that you will regret not having a car, even in the smallest village. 

Fortunately, Omanis are aware of that, so hitching a ride in a city is as easy as when you are standing on a highway. I hitchhiked in Muscat, Salalah, Sur and all villages in between without any problem, always. 

Looking for a ride in Muscat

  If you are 2 or more people, look for apartment hotels. Otherwise, check Airbnb

As I said before, in Oman there are no hostels and, for a hotel, you will pay a minimum of 25€ for a private room, usually a single one. 

You may find some cheaper deals on Airbnb but it won’t be much cheaper. By the way, if you create an Airbnb account through my link, you will get 35€ of FREE credit on your next booking. 

Otherwise, apartment hotels are a very big deal in Oman and, if you are 2 or more people, they are great value-for-money. 

During my 30-day journey, I did a few Airbnb and stayed in a few random hotels and always paid around 20-25€. However, I have to admit that all the places I stayed in were excellent. 

Read: What to do in Saudi Arabia in 2 weeks

This Bengali man was extremely amazed by me traveling with such a big backpack and didn’t believe it had a tripod, a sleeping bag, a tent, a mattress, besides all my clothes

  Alternatively, Couchsurfing is great

Some of my greatest Couchsurfing experiences ever have been Oman. 

In Oman, Couchsurfing is a big deal and you can find active profiles in pretty much any city and, if you send requests well in advance, you may also find couches in smaller towns and villages. 

I did Couchsurfing in Muscat, Salalah, Sadeh, Sur, Bidiyah and Nizwa.

Moreover, since Omanis are really hospitable and treat all guests as honorable guests, if they accept you, most of the time they will be completely free, as they really want you to have the best experience, so they will show you around and, if you are staying with a family, the mother will cook some delicious local food. 

My best experience was with Musab, a kind-hearted Omani from Sadeh. I visited him during a national holiday, so we spent 4 days together with his friends visiting all around Dhofar province. From driving to the Yemeni border to visit his friend’s camel farm and loads of traditional food, every day, we had so much fun and today, I am glad to say that I have a brother in Sadeh. 

Thank you, Musab!

Read: How to visit Dubai on a backpacking budget

Somewhere in Dhofar province, with Musab and his friends

  Sign up for Couchsurfing events and join their weekend escapes

Muscat is where the big Couchsurfing community is and, every weekend, they organize different outdoor activities, which usually involve going to the desert or camping at the many wadis (valleys). 

Those events are a great way to meet open-minded Omanis and explore Oman on a budget. 

  Bring a tent and take advantage of the outdoors

Oman is a huge country only inhabited by 4.6 million people, which means that most of the country remains pretty wild. 

From great wadis to loads of natural pools, outstanding mountains and 1,700km of coastline, Oman is known for its great outdoors activities and, since the country doesn’t really have a proper, nice nightlife, plus Omanis aren’t party people either, going camping on the weekend is a big thing here, and a great way to cut costs when backpacking around Oman. 

Places like Jabel Akhdar, Jebel Shams and most wadis are easily reached by hitchhiking, no problem. 

So yeah, do bring a tent. 

Read: How to visit Dubai in 1 week

Somewhere in Jebel Shams

  Camping in the middle of a city is also good

I have to admit that I was not always able to find a Couchsurfing host, so when I didn’t feel like paying for an expensive hotel, I didn’t mind pitching my tent in one of the comfy palm gardens that abound in most cities. 

Technically, I heard that camping in Omani cities is not allowed but nobody ever cared about my tent and trust me that I camped in quite a few places, including in the palm garden next to Nizwa Fort. 

Read: Everything you need to know to visit Iran

The palm plantation next to Nizwa Fort

  Always eat in Indian or Bengali-run restaurants

Controversially, in Oman, you can eat for cheaply, like very cheaply actually.

Nearly two-thirds of the population in Oman are from the Indian Sub-Continent (India, Pakistan and Bangladesh), so restaurants serving food from their respective countries are plentiful and, actually, in villages they tend to be the only option. 

From daal to chicken curries, for just a few dollars, you can easily fill your belly with Indian food. 

Moreover, restaurants serving purely Omani food, which usually consists of rice with chicken, meat or fish, are also inexpensive, usually 1-3USD more expensive than Indian food. 

On the other hand, in Muscat and other big cities, the restaurants serving international food will charge you like a restaurant in Dubai or Western Europe. 

Grilled meat plus a huge amount of rice. This massive Omani meal cost around 7-8USD and it could feed 3 people

  If you are planning to backpack in Oman on a budget, don’t come in summer unless you want to die

Oman is one of the hottest countries on Earth, with summer temperatures averaging 45ºC , and the bad news is that summers last forever. 

From May to October, day temperatures are nearly unbearable, so if you are planning to hitchhike, camping in cities and stuff like that, you should avoid backpacking around Oman during these dates. 

Even when I came in mid-November, some days were disgustingly hot, especially in Salalah and Central Oman. 

Read: What to do in Iran in 1 month

  Conclusion – How much does it cost backpacking around Oman on a budget?

Like I said in the introduction, in Oman I spent less money than backpacking in Kyrgyzstan for example. How can that be?

Well, in Kyrgyzstan, accommodation is cheap, like 10USD per night, and you can go by public transportation everywhere. However, despite being cheap, I still had to pay for it and, in Oman, since I was always hitchhiking and mostly camping or Couchsurfing, I didn’t have to pay for any of those things. 

Oman budget travel – Typical costs

One-month visa – 20OR (52USD)

Welcome package SIM + Data – 3OR (7.80USD) but then you pay 3OR for 1GB

Budget Hotel – 10-12OR (26-31USD)

A plate of daal – 500bias (1.30USD)

A biryani – 1.5OR (3.90USD)

A big bottle of water – 200 bias (50¢)

A beer – 4OR (10USD) – Only available in hotels, avoid it

Short taxi rides within Muscat – 2.50OR (6.50USD)

Bus from Muscat to Salalah – 7OR (18USD)

If you are a serious budget backpacker, so you will basically Couchsurf and hitchhike, besides the cost of the visa and the SIM Card, you will only have to pay for food and, for that, you can easily survive on 15USD a day

Half Omani Rial, the most curious note

  More useful tips for backpacking in Oman and around the region

Here you can find all my articles and guides to Oman

Traveling to Saudi Arabia? Here you can find all my articles and guides to Saudi Arabia

Are you traveling to Dubai and have little money? Read how to travel in Dubai on a budget

Iran is so close to Oman, are you going there? Remember to check then my tips for visiting Iran

And here all my content to the Middle East

    source http://cheaprtravels.com/11-tips-for-backpacking-in-oman-on-a-budget/

[topfygad]

11 Tips for backpacking in Oman on a budget

Oman, a country with absolutely great outdoors and fascinating people, should be a real paradise for adventurous, budget backpackers but, unfortunately, it is a surprisingly expensive destination. 

Like all Gulf Monarchies, the Government has primarily focused on promoting luxury tourism, which means that budget hotels are practically non-existent and you won’t find any backpacker hostels, not even in Muscat. 

On top of this, the public transportation system in Oman sucks, plus the cities are not walking friendly at all, so, during your journey, you will have to rely on either renting a car or taking a lot of cabs. 

However, spending little money in Oman is very possible.

I actually backpacked in Oman for over a month, traveling from north to south and visiting everything in between, and I swear that I spent less money than in other backpacking destinations, such as Kyrgyzstan or Georgia. 

In this post, I will tell you several tips for backpacking in Oman on a super low budget.

    Index:

11 Tips for successful budget backpacking in Oman How much does it cost backpacking in Oman on a budget? More useful tips

Remember to have proper travel insurance for both Israel and Jordan. For this, I recommend you read: How to find the best travel insurance

  11 Tips for successful budget backpacking in Oman

My 11 best tips:

Public transportation sucks but hitchhiking is very doable

In one entire month, I only took two taxis within Muscat (2.50OR-6.50USD each) and the 12-hour bus from Muscat to Salalah (7OR – 18USD). 

Then, I hitchhiked back to Muscat through the coastal road and visited pretty much any spot in between. 

I calculated it and, in total, I hitchhiked over 1,400km.

Seriously, hitchhiking in Oman is super easy and, during all that time, I think the maximum I waited for a lift was 20-25 minutes, and that was because I was standing on a road with very little traffic on a Friday, so most of the few cars that passed by were families and, if there are women inside and you are a man, they are unlikely to pick you up. 

From trucks driven by Indians to wealthy Omanis driving extravagant 4×4, Western tourists and even Bedouins with their pickups, except for families, everybody in Oman is willing, and happy, to pick up a random foreigner. 

Sometimes you have to hitchhike in roads like this one but trust me, someone will eventually pass by

  And pretty often, Omanis are willing to make big detours, so they can drop you as close as possible

Something you need to know about Omani people is that, on the one hand, they are really nice, kind and hospitable to foreigners and, on the other, many of them don’t work, or just work a few hours a day, so they have a lot of free time.

It happened to me several times – really, several times – that I was going in a completely different direction, yet, the Omani insisted in taking me to my actual destination, even if that involved him driving 60-80 additional kilometers, no kidding. Omanis are awesome. 

I had similar experiences when I was backpacking in Pakistan. 

Read: How to visit Saudi Arabia – Tips & tricks

  If you are hitchhiking, don’t rush and don’t plan much

Omanis are extremely hospitable so, when hitchhiking, expect Omanis to invite you to their house before you continue with your journey. 

Telling them ”no” would not be polite, so always say ”yes”, but this also means that when backpacking in Oman, your plans will be constantly changed, thanks to the Omani hospitality. 

You may experience this all around the country but it particularly happened to me when I was hitchhiking in Central Oman, the least visited part of the country and a land of Bedouins. That inhospitable part of Oman is composed of a road several hundred kilometers long with absolutely nothing but desert and occasional tiny villages inhabited by Bedouins. 

Well, there wasn’t almost a single Bedouin who didn’t want me to hang out at his place after dropping me off, which led to me having a very high heart-rate due to the 20 cups of qahwa (local cardamom coffee) I had to swallow in one single day. 

That delayed my trip significantly but, if you want to enjoy the country to the fullest, go with the flow and don’t rush.

Read: A guide to visit Musandam in Oman

With a family of Bedouins, somewhere in Central Oman

  You will also need to hitchhike within cities, even in villages

From Muscat to Salalah, the different towns and villages in Oman are some of the least-pedestrian-friendly places you may ever encounter. 

They are always so spread out that you will regret not having a car, even in the smallest village. 

Fortunately, Omanis are aware of that, so hitching a ride in a city is as easy as when you are standing on a highway. I hitchhiked in Muscat, Salalah, Sur and all villages in between without any problem, always. 

Looking for a ride in Muscat

  If you are 2 or more people, look for apartment hotels. Otherwise, check Airbnb

As I said before, in Oman there are no hostels and, for a hotel, you will pay a minimum of 25€ for a private room, usually a single one. 

You may find some cheaper deals on Airbnb but it won’t be much cheaper. By the way, if you create an Airbnb account through my link, you will get 35€ of FREE credit on your next booking. 

Otherwise, apartment hotels are a very big deal in Oman and, if you are 2 or more people, they are great value-for-money. 

During my 30-day journey, I did a few Airbnb and stayed in a few random hotels and always paid around 20-25€. However, I have to admit that all the places I stayed in were excellent. 

Read: What to do in Saudi Arabia in 2 weeks

This Bengali man was extremely amazed by me traveling with such a big backpack and didn’t believe it had a tripod, a sleeping bag, a tent, a mattress, besides all my clothes

  Alternatively, Couchsurfing is great

Some of my greatest Couchsurfing experiences ever have been Oman. 

In Oman, Couchsurfing is a big deal and you can find active profiles in pretty much any city and, if you send requests well in advance, you may also find couches in smaller towns and villages. 

I did Couchsurfing in Muscat, Salalah, Sadeh, Sur, Bidiyah and Nizwa.

Moreover, since Omanis are really hospitable and treat all guests as honorable guests, if they accept you, most of the time they will be completely free, as they really want you to have the best experience, so they will show you around and, if you are staying with a family, the mother will cook some delicious local food. 

My best experience was with Musab, a kind-hearted Omani from Sadeh. I visited him during a national holiday, so we spent 4 days together with his friends visiting all around Dhofar province. From driving to the Yemeni border to visit his friend’s camel farm and loads of traditional food, every day, we had so much fun and today, I am glad to say that I have a brother in Sadeh. 

Thank you, Musab!

Read: How to visit Dubai on a backpacking budget

Somewhere in Dhofar province, with Musab and his friends

  Sign up for Couchsurfing events and join their weekend escapes

Muscat is where the big Couchsurfing community is and, every weekend, they organize different outdoor activities, which usually involve going to the desert or camping at the many wadis (valleys). 

Those events are a great way to meet open-minded Omanis and explore Oman on a budget. 

  Bring a tent and take advantage of the outdoors

Oman is a huge country only inhabited by 4.6 million people, which means that most of the country remains pretty wild. 

From great wadis to loads of natural pools, outstanding mountains and 1,700km of coastline, Oman is known for its great outdoors activities and, since the country doesn’t really have a proper, nice nightlife, plus Omanis aren’t party people either, going camping on the weekend is a big thing here, and a great way to cut costs when backpacking around Oman. 

Places like Jabel Akhdar, Jebel Shams and most wadis are easily reached by hitchhiking, no problem. 

So yeah, do bring a tent. 

Read: How to visit Dubai in 1 week

Somewhere in Jebel Shams

  Camping in the middle of a city is also good

I have to admit that I was not always able to find a Couchsurfing host, so when I didn’t feel like paying for an expensive hotel, I didn’t mind pitching my tent in one of the comfy palm gardens that abound in most cities. 

Technically, I heard that camping in Omani cities is not allowed but nobody ever cared about my tent and trust me that I camped in quite a few places, including in the palm garden next to Nizwa Fort. 

Read: Everything you need to know to visit Iran

The palm plantation next to Nizwa Fort

  Always eat in Indian or Bengali-run restaurants

Controversially, in Oman, you can eat for cheaply, like very cheaply actually.

Nearly two-thirds of the population in Oman are from the Indian Sub-Continent (India, Pakistan and Bangladesh), so restaurants serving food from their respective countries are plentiful and, actually, in villages they tend to be the only option. 

From daal to chicken curries, for just a few dollars, you can easily fill your belly with Indian food. 

Moreover, restaurants serving purely Omani food, which usually consists of rice with chicken, meat or fish, are also inexpensive, usually 1-3USD more expensive than Indian food. 

On the other hand, in Muscat and other big cities, the restaurants serving international food will charge you like a restaurant in Dubai or Western Europe. 

Grilled meat plus a huge amount of rice. This massive Omani meal cost around 7-8USD and it could feed 3 people

  If you are planning to backpack in Oman on a budget, don’t come in summer unless you want to die

Oman is one of the hottest countries on Earth, with summer temperatures averaging 45ºC , and the bad news is that summers last forever. 

From May to October, day temperatures are nearly unbearable, so if you are planning to hitchhike, camping in cities and stuff like that, you should avoid backpacking around Oman during these dates. 

Even when I came in mid-November, some days were disgustingly hot, especially in Salalah and Central Oman. 

Read: What to do in Iran in 1 month

  Conclusion – How much does it cost backpacking around Oman on a budget?

Like I said in the introduction, in Oman I spent less money than backpacking in Kyrgyzstan for example. How can that be?

Well, in Kyrgyzstan, accommodation is cheap, like 10USD per night, and you can go by public transportation everywhere. However, despite being cheap, I still had to pay for it and, in Oman, since I was always hitchhiking and mostly camping or Couchsurfing, I didn’t have to pay for any of those things. 

Oman budget travel – Typical costs

One-month visa – 20OR (52USD)

Welcome package SIM + Data – 3OR (7.80USD) but then you pay 3OR for 1GB

Budget Hotel – 10-12OR (26-31USD)

A plate of daal – 500bias (1.30USD)

A biryani – 1.5OR (3.90USD)

A big bottle of water – 200 bias (50¢)

A beer – 4OR (10USD) – Only available in hotels, avoid it

Short taxi rides within Muscat – 2.50OR (6.50USD)

Bus from Muscat to Salalah – 7OR (18USD)

If you are a serious budget backpacker, so you will basically Couchsurf and hitchhike, besides the cost of the visa and the SIM Card, you will only have to pay for food and, for that, you can easily survive on 15USD a day

Half Omani Rial, the most curious note

  More useful tips for backpacking in Oman and around the region

Here you can find all my articles and guides to Oman

Traveling to Saudi Arabia? Here you can find all my articles and guides to Saudi Arabia

Are you traveling to Dubai and have little money? Read how to travel in Dubai on a budget

Iran is so close to Oman, are you going there? Remember to check then my tips for visiting Iran

And here all my content to the Middle East

    from Cheapr Travels https://ift.tt/2UWJqVk via https://ift.tt/2NIqXKN

[topfygad]

11 Tips for backpacking in Oman on a budget

Oman, a country with absolutely great outdoors and fascinating people, should be a real paradise for adventurous, budget backpackers but, unfortunately, it is a surprisingly expensive destination. 

Like all Gulf Monarchies, the Government has primarily focused on promoting luxury tourism, which means that budget hotels are practically non-existent and you won’t find any backpacker hostels, not even in Muscat. 

On top of this, the public transportation system in Oman sucks, plus the cities are not walking friendly at all, so, during your journey, you will have to rely on either renting a car or taking a lot of cabs. 

However, spending little money in Oman is very possible.

I actually backpacked in Oman for over a month, traveling from north to south and visiting everything in between, and I swear that I spent less money than in other backpacking destinations, such as Kyrgyzstan or Georgia. 

In this post, I will tell you several tips for backpacking in Oman on a super low budget.

    Index:

11 Tips for successful budget backpacking in Oman How much does it cost backpacking in Oman on a budget? More useful tips

Remember to have proper travel insurance for both Israel and Jordan. For this, I recommend you read: How to find the best travel insurance

  11 Tips for successful budget backpacking in Oman

My 11 best tips:

Public transportation sucks but hitchhiking is very doable

In one entire month, I only took two taxis within Muscat (2.50OR-6.50USD each) and the 12-hour bus from Muscat to Salalah (7OR – 18USD). 

Then, I hitchhiked back to Muscat through the coastal road and visited pretty much any spot in between. 

I calculated it and, in total, I hitchhiked over 1,400km.

Seriously, hitchhiking in Oman is super easy and, during all that time, I think the maximum I waited for a lift was 20-25 minutes, and that was because I was standing on a road with very little traffic on a Friday, so most of the few cars that passed by were families and, if there are women inside and you are a man, they are unlikely to pick you up. 

From trucks driven by Indians to wealthy Omanis driving extravagant 4×4, Western tourists and even Bedouins with their pickups, except for families, everybody in Oman is willing, and happy, to pick up a random foreigner. 

Sometimes you have to hitchhike in roads like this one but trust me, someone will eventually pass by

  And pretty often, Omanis are willing to make big detours, so they can drop you as close as possible

Something you need to know about Omani people is that, on the one hand, they are really nice, kind and hospitable to foreigners and, on the other, many of them don’t work, or just work a few hours a day, so they have a lot of free time.

It happened to me several times – really, several times – that I was going in a completely different direction, yet, the Omani insisted in taking me to my actual destination, even if that involved him driving 60-80 additional kilometers, no kidding. Omanis are awesome. 

I had similar experiences when I was backpacking in Pakistan. 

Read: How to visit Saudi Arabia – Tips & tricks

  If you are hitchhiking, don’t rush and don’t plan much

Omanis are extremely hospitable so, when hitchhiking, expect Omanis to invite you to their house before you continue with your journey. 

Telling them ”no” would not be polite, so always say ”yes”, but this also means that when backpacking in Oman, your plans will be constantly changed, thanks to the Omani hospitality. 

You may experience this all around the country but it particularly happened to me when I was hitchhiking in Central Oman, the least visited part of the country and a land of Bedouins. That inhospitable part of Oman is composed of a road several hundred kilometers long with absolutely nothing but desert and occasional tiny villages inhabited by Bedouins. 

Well, there wasn’t almost a single Bedouin who didn’t want me to hang out at his place after dropping me off, which led to me having a very high heart-rate due to the 20 cups of qahwa (local cardamom coffee) I had to swallow in one single day. 

That delayed my trip significantly but, if you want to enjoy the country to the fullest, go with the flow and don’t rush.

Read: A guide to visit Musandam in Oman

With a family of Bedouins, somewhere in Central Oman

  You will also need to hitchhike within cities, even in villages

From Muscat to Salalah, the different towns and villages in Oman are some of the least-pedestrian-friendly places you may ever encounter. 

They are always so spread out that you will regret not having a car, even in the smallest village. 

Fortunately, Omanis are aware of that, so hitching a ride in a city is as easy as when you are standing on a highway. I hitchhiked in Muscat, Salalah, Sur and all villages in between without any problem, always. 

Looking for a ride in Muscat

  If you are 2 or more people, look for apartment hotels. Otherwise, check Airbnb

As I said before, in Oman there are no hostels and, for a hotel, you will pay a minimum of 25€ for a private room, usually a single one. 

You may find some cheaper deals on Airbnb but it won’t be much cheaper. By the way, if you create an Airbnb account through my link, you will get 35€ of FREE credit on your next booking. 

Otherwise, apartment hotels are a very big deal in Oman and, if you are 2 or more people, they are great value-for-money. 

During my 30-day journey, I did a few Airbnb and stayed in a few random hotels and always paid around 20-25€. However, I have to admit that all the places I stayed in were excellent. 

Read: What to do in Saudi Arabia in 2 weeks

This Bengali man was extremely amazed by me traveling with such a big backpack and didn’t believe it had a tripod, a sleeping bag, a tent, a mattress, besides all my clothes

  Alternatively, Couchsurfing is great

Some of my greatest Couchsurfing experiences ever have been Oman. 

In Oman, Couchsurfing is a big deal and you can find active profiles in pretty much any city and, if you send requests well in advance, you may also find couches in smaller towns and villages. 

I did Couchsurfing in Muscat, Salalah, Sadeh, Sur, Bidiyah and Nizwa.

Moreover, since Omanis are really hospitable and treat all guests as honorable guests, if they accept you, most of the time they will be completely free, as they really want you to have the best experience, so they will show you around and, if you are staying with a family, the mother will cook some delicious local food. 

My best experience was with Musab, a kind-hearted Omani from Sadeh. I visited him during a national holiday, so we spent 4 days together with his friends visiting all around Dhofar province. From driving to the Yemeni border to visit his friend’s camel farm and loads of traditional food, every day, we had so much fun and today, I am glad to say that I have a brother in Sadeh. 

Thank you, Musab!

Read: How to visit Dubai on a backpacking budget

Somewhere in Dhofar province, with Musab and his friends

  Sign up for Couchsurfing events and join their weekend escapes

Muscat is where the big Couchsurfing community is and, every weekend, they organize different outdoor activities, which usually involve going to the desert or camping at the many wadis (valleys). 

Those events are a great way to meet open-minded Omanis and explore Oman on a budget. 

  Bring a tent and take advantage of the outdoors

Oman is a huge country only inhabited by 4.6 million people, which means that most of the country remains pretty wild. 

From great wadis to loads of natural pools, outstanding mountains and 1,700km of coastline, Oman is known for its great outdoors activities and, since the country doesn’t really have a proper, nice nightlife, plus Omanis aren’t party people either, going camping on the weekend is a big thing here, and a great way to cut costs when backpacking around Oman. 

Places like Jabel Akhdar, Jebel Shams and most wadis are easily reached by hitchhiking, no problem. 

So yeah, do bring a tent. 

Read: How to visit Dubai in 1 week

Somewhere in Jebel Shams

  Camping in the middle of a city is also good

I have to admit that I was not always able to find a Couchsurfing host, so when I didn’t feel like paying for an expensive hotel, I didn’t mind pitching my tent in one of the comfy palm gardens that abound in most cities. 

Technically, I heard that camping in Omani cities is not allowed but nobody ever cared about my tent and trust me that I camped in quite a few places, including in the palm garden next to Nizwa Fort. 

Read: Everything you need to know to visit Iran

The palm plantation next to Nizwa Fort

  Always eat in Indian or Bengali-run restaurants

Controversially, in Oman, you can eat for cheaply, like very cheaply actually.

Nearly two-thirds of the population in Oman are from the Indian Sub-Continent (India, Pakistan and Bangladesh), so restaurants serving food from their respective countries are plentiful and, actually, in villages they tend to be the only option. 

From daal to chicken curries, for just a few dollars, you can easily fill your belly with Indian food. 

Moreover, restaurants serving purely Omani food, which usually consists of rice with chicken, meat or fish, are also inexpensive, usually 1-3USD more expensive than Indian food. 

On the other hand, in Muscat and other big cities, the restaurants serving international food will charge you like a restaurant in Dubai or Western Europe. 

Grilled meat plus a huge amount of rice. This massive Omani meal cost around 7-8USD and it could feed 3 people

  If you are planning to backpack in Oman on a budget, don’t come in summer unless you want to die

Oman is one of the hottest countries on Earth, with summer temperatures averaging 45ºC , and the bad news is that summers last forever. 

From May to October, day temperatures are nearly unbearable, so if you are planning to hitchhike, camping in cities and stuff like that, you should avoid backpacking around Oman during these dates. 

Even when I came in mid-November, some days were disgustingly hot, especially in Salalah and Central Oman. 

Read: What to do in Iran in 1 month

  Conclusion – How much does it cost backpacking around Oman on a budget?

Like I said in the introduction, in Oman I spent less money than backpacking in Kyrgyzstan for example. How can that be?

Well, in Kyrgyzstan, accommodation is cheap, like 10USD per night, and you can go by public transportation everywhere. However, despite being cheap, I still had to pay for it and, in Oman, since I was always hitchhiking and mostly camping or Couchsurfing, I didn’t have to pay for any of those things. 

Oman budget travel – Typical costs

One-month visa – 20OR (52USD)

Welcome package SIM + Data – 3OR (7.80USD) but then you pay 3OR for 1GB

Budget Hotel – 10-12OR (26-31USD)

A plate of daal – 500bias (1.30USD)

A biryani – 1.5OR (3.90USD)

A big bottle of water – 200 bias (50¢)

A beer – 4OR (10USD) – Only available in hotels, avoid it

Short taxi rides within Muscat – 2.50OR (6.50USD)

Bus from Muscat to Salalah – 7OR (18USD)

If you are a serious budget backpacker, so you will basically Couchsurf and hitchhike, besides the cost of the visa and the SIM Card, you will only have to pay for food and, for that, you can easily survive on 15USD a day

Half Omani Rial, the most curious note

  More useful tips for backpacking in Oman and around the region

Here you can find all my articles and guides to Oman

Traveling to Saudi Arabia? Here you can find all my articles and guides to Saudi Arabia

Are you traveling to Dubai and have little money? Read how to travel in Dubai on a budget

Iran is so close to Oman, are you going there? Remember to check then my tips for visiting Iran

And here all my content to the Middle East

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