#like people just put whatever they want on the internet and for some reason 95% of people take it as fact

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas :) was wondering if you would be able to offer any of your wisdom (or really just read my ask, I think I just kind of need to get it out, please don’t feel pressured to reply).

So my issue is that I think I might have a crush on my best friend. We are both nearly 15 and both female, which is where the bulk of the problem arises. I’ve been suspecting for a few years now that I’m probably queer, and probably bi or pan (not really going with a label right now, I’m not out so I see no reason to, but I’ve also just been sort of pushing it to the back of my mind).

Ive known my best friend since we first started school together in our first year of school, and I know she’d be supportive of me if I came out to her. But lately whenever she’s been talking about some guy or wanting to get a boyfriend or whatever I’ve been weirdly jealous, and once or twice I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to kiss her. To put it simply: if she asked me on a date, I probably wouldn’t say no.

I feel really terrible about this and want to tell her, but know it would completely compromise our friendship, and I really don’t want to do that. I also feel like I really shouldn’t like her, like I’m commuting some social crime. I’m like 95% sure she’s straight, so I don’t see any reason to tell her, but i still feel guilty about it for some reason.

And then I feel guilty that I even think I like girls at all, because part of me thinks I just want to be part of the LGBTQ community - I don’t have many good friends and the queer community seem to be one of the few communities that are really accepting, and I wonder if maybe I’m just identifying with them because I’m considered an ‘outsider’ as well.

I’m sorry to dump this all on you and I don’t even fully know what I’m asking. It kind of just feels good to write it out and know there’s a possibility of someone reading it, so, thanks?

Anyway I hope you have the loveliest day :)

Hi!!!

So a few thoughts here, okay?

First of all, it is literally so common for people to think they're like...faking being queer. But the thing is, you're not faking it. You literally took the time to sit here and type out this long message to some stranger on the internet. You're not faking.

Second, you're not breaking any rules or being weird by liking your friend. You can't control who you like, and it's so normal to end up with feelings for a friend. There's no reason to feel guilty at all! Objectively, being liked is a compliment!

As far as telling her your feelings, that's where it could get a bit tricky, because sometimes things can get a bit awkward if feelings aren't returned, no matter what genders people are. If it was me, I'd probably start by coming out to her (you said she's a safe person) and seeing how she reacts. If she starts to act more affectionate, then that could be a sign that she returns feelings, you know?

I hope this helps. Remember, your feelings are so valid and I'm here if you need to talk!

(Also I am naming all the anons who write to me in case they want to write in the future, and I am using a random positive affirmation generator to do so. So I dub thee: admirable anon. Enjoy your free tag!)

[chaosciara]

I posted 7,787 times in 2022

427 posts created (5%)

7,360 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@freshpickle

@frenchsiren

@wizardpotions

@emmamountebank

@wickedangels

I tagged 2,522 of my posts in 2022

#ciara’s convos - 306 posts

#i bloody love artists - 196 posts

#ciara's convos - 119 posts

#love between fairy and devil - 115 posts

#ciara watches lbfd - 73 posts

#snek - 64 posts

#snoodle - 63 posts

#i bloody love fan artists - 59 posts

#the ocean and me - 50 posts

#ciara just says things - 45 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hi okay I need more people to know this because for……….reasons (my thumb gets tired even though I’m trying to be so brave about it)

if you use the mobile app a lot and you post fanfic or really long headcanon lists or literally whatever and it’s too much effort for you to go onto desk top and add the “keep reading” tab so you just don’t do it even if you want to, then here’s the mobile version:

If you type “ :readmore: ” (the stuff within the quotation marks but not the quotation marks) and then press enter it will add a “keep reading” line break

colon (:) no space, the word “readmore”, no space, another colon (:), enter

and when you post it will post as a normal “keep reading”

mobile users <3 please use this feature <3

genuinely you do you if you know about this and just don’t like the keep reading but if you didn’t know, now you know!

165 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

#4

hello mi cielos! I am back with the first uquiz of the new year squeee

go on a picnic with me and I’ll tell you what “thing that humans do that make me believe we’re magic” you are!

CW: alcohol mention, food (as this is a picnic, there are three questions where I ask you to choose food)

it took me an embarrassing amount of time to finish this but listen okay in my defence finding the exact right pics always takes my full attention and about 16 hours of my day! fully worth it!

as always there’s 10 q’s, poetry (hah I snuck it in there), clothes, and delicious food!

enjoy and let me know what you get in the tags <3

175 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

#3

the new bears in trees song is soooooo driving down the highway on a saturday afternoon and getting ready with your friends for a day at a garden market and screaming in your bedroom at 2am and the intro scene to the main character in a coming of age movie circa 2004 and also for having a concert in your shower

213 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

#2

how to "get shit done": uni work addition

hi loveliest people so this is a sort of guide to how i get through uni work without going completely insane (make no mistake there is still some insanity present). I hope you find it helpful, or at least entertaining,

(disclaimer cause this is the internet: these work for me, they may not work for you)

table of contents:

a. date it

b. set reminders

c. how to stay on top of it

d. how to get on top of it if you aren't already

e. learn when your brain needs a break

f. uni is a full time job, treat it as such

A. date it

okay the first thing i do at the beginning of every semester is put uni dates in my calendar.

Term dates: when your term starts, when it ends, and your holidays. this is not just for information purposes but also so you have something to look forward to. additionally, it helps later on when you have to plan out assignment and test dates.

Assignment/ test dates: scour through the course outlines of all your courses and put every single date into your calendar. every assignment, every test, anything you have to submit goes in. that includes things like "weekly quizzes". make it a recurring date and chuck it in there.

B. set reminders

so i usually do this in my calendar but if you have a reminders app, or prefer other ways to set reminders then use that.

these reminders are not to make you feel bad for not doing work, it's to hold you responsible for your work. if you know you spiral at the idea of seeing a reminder when you haven't done work, this strategy may not work for you. don't give up, something will work. keep trying and have patience with yourself

if you know something is approaching it's easier to plan your life and your tasks around it. if you never know how long you have or you're always scrambling to figure out when something is due your mind is so focused on the dates it has no time for the work

Assignment reminders:

2 weeks before // 1 week before // 3 days before // 1 day before // 10 minutes before // on time of event

Test reminders:

1 week before // 3 days before // 1 day before // 1 hour before // on time of event

I know this may be excessive but if you're someone like me who constantly forgets things, it is very helpful to keep yourself on track

okay trust me you got this! i promise it's not as bad as it looks. right onto readings and assignments.

C. how to stay on top of it

do one reading per course per day: this is non-negotiable. trust me it is the easiest way to get through readings for a week.

if you have four courses of five readings each you will end up doing four readings a day from Monday to Friday. it is workable and you can do it. uni is fucking difficult and everyone has a story about why they're there but i promise you if you're there, the selection processes decided you were capable enough to handle it. and you are. if you can, start a week earlier so you're a little ahead otherwise it's totally okay.

2. start research for assignments 2 weeks before it is due. this will give you time and space to sort through what is relevant, useful, or should be discarded.

i have a folder for each assignment where all my research goes. within this folder there are three other folders: a. done and dusted b. too long/ not relevant c. could be helpful if i cared enough

and as i go through each paper/article/etc. i sort it into one of the three folders

See the full post

365 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hi tumblr i made another uquiz. i've lost track of how many i've made at this point hehehe

anyway it's seven q's, no celebrities, and descriptive results. there's of course poetry, some clothes, and general fun things. anyway take it and let me know what you get in the tags.

it is worth mentioning here: i'm gonna ask that if you do not like men (as in you think negatively of them), do not take this quiz. you will most likely not be happy with it. pertaining to results: there are no descriptions of physical appearance, additionally, all of them apply to trans-men as well. i will eat you if you're transphobic on my quiz.

okay i love you byeeee

535 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

lmaooooo it’s been a year indeed <3 mwah! I love you all thanks for being my tumblr humans :) I’m here again next year, cause I can never leave this brain rot

[strawberryamanita]

Sorry, started ranting about live-action adaptations and corporate dilution of artistry, Can't Help Being A Capricorn or whatever

Discourse is allowed, just don't add something like "wow OP/prev you're a fucking reprobate I hope something happens to you that compromises your health" thanks ✌️😘

I'm also not tagging this, so if it breaches containment it's not my fault lmao

If I could be so bold.

I think the reason there's just so nauseatingly many live-action adaptations out right now, and over the past 12 years, is because there were quite a few fan-casts made over the years, whether by one person or a small group brainstorming together. Like if you search "[series] fan cast"***, there's a very good chance you'll find people still having fun with the idea of matching a celebrity up to their cartoon lookalikes, even today. Not corporations trying to drum engagement, not stark and barren listicle websites, but individual human beings who haven't been paid to say what they're saying or do what they're doing. Even after we've seen just how little Hollywood actually does with the concept 95% of the time, people are having fun with hypotheticals and being creative without restraints.

***The exception is live-action adaptations that have been officially made. If you look for things that have not been tainted adapted yet, it's like looking into a portal to a time before all This Shit started happening.

I think the main issue is, nobody who's making those fan-castings is imagining, like, a full-on movie to go with it. It's more like, who would look cute cosplaying as that character. The extent of the idea is a PhotoShop job, and that's it.

Not whatever vortex of billion-dollar soullessness we've been tossed around in for the past decade.

The Nihilist part of me wants to say: "This kind of open discussion online is gonna keep convincing Hollywood that these ideas are guaranteed to birth successful films, so we should just stop having these convos publically" -- but that's an incredibly stupid thought. I'm not gonna try and convince people that creating is something to be ashamed of and hidden away; in this Capitalist Hellworld, where artistry is minimized to keep profits high, commercial-free creativity often feels like our last stand.

I don't really have a solution at this time, myself. Nor do I think I'm responsible for providing one -- the majority of people I've tried to make a big artistic project with can tell you I'm not the most experienced nor the most confident director. But I do know that this is what the culture of media has been since the early 2010s, and all I aim to do with this rant is bring that fact to the forefront.

In the 80s and 90s (and some of the 00s), companies had no problem churning out fun visuals and engaging soundtracks and worldbuilding that took honest-to-God effort by the dozen. I mean we have nostalgia over commercials from those eras, and it wasn't just because we're susceptible to consumerism; if that were the case, we wouldn't roll our eyes and groan whenever we hear the Unholy Trio of a ukulele, glockenspiel and someone whistling over whatever fucking hunk of plastic they're trying to shove in our faces now.

The 00s had a more laid-back vibe to it, particularly with videogame commercials. This was the Era of Grimdark and goths and embracing darkness because it felt more real than anything else, or whatever the fuck I was writing about whilst crying over MCR songs. But even so, a good chunk of 00s media had effort put into it. Yes, more than half of it was horribly problematic and exploitative; I'm not telling you it was good, I'm telling you there was effort. Even the shit with deadpan narration and cheap mascot costumes and out-of-place toilet humor had some sort of creative writing team, had some sort of vision, had some sort of direction.

Then the Internet started ramping up in quality and bandwidth, and people actually could speak loud enough that companies would hear them. To anyone who's too young to remember a world before the Internet being pushed into every corner of everyday life: it wasn’t this way 15+ years ago. Media slowly became more collaborative over the era of AOL and MySpace, because consumer feedback became easier and easier to access. And then with the advent of YouTube in 2006 -- which, as shitty as it is now, was revolutionary at the time, being a place where you could publish videos without needing to audition for anyone -- access to free ideas had very suddenly become exponentially faster. More and more Internet stars were popping up on TV (think "Web Soup" and "Tosh.0"), and then Google bought YouTube and decided to monetize it and now everyone's a rockstar and Andy Warhol's laughing at us from beyond the grave.

Fuck off, Andy.

...Now, I know it feels like I took a million detours -- and I agree that it does, because driving around in my brain feels like zig-zagging between five lanes at once -- but this all came from my theory that the ideas for media are in the hands of unpaid creators. We went from production teams being creative as Hell in the 80s and 90s, to an intentional cynicism in the 00s, to a fizzling-out of ideas and corporations holding their hands out for scraps of ideas from the consumers in the 2010s.

Money isn't trickle-down, but culture sure as shit is trickle-up.

Again, I don't have any ideas on how to fix this. Capitalism breeds a culture that allows exploitation of every fundamental part of human existence, and it knows how to adapt. With every new slew of ideas I have on how to combat it, it worms its way through anyhow. It's like fighting a hydra, and it gives me agita if I think about it for too long.

I don't know.

I remember a time when adaptations were fun to think about, but they almost never came from the minds of people looking to profit off nostalgia. They came from impassioned, vision-driven fans who wanted to try retelling their favorite stories through a different lens... and I think that's a beautiful thing. All fanart is -- fanmade drawings, fanmade covers of songs, fanmade films, cosplay, and fan-casts.

I don't really know how to end this rant neatly. Just... next time you're on your way to watch the latest diluted, regurgitated corporate shlock that's trying to profit off your nostalgia, just remember that there's probably some unpaid, good-natured rando out there that took your favorite media to new heights without any executive meddling. Maybe save a buck or two from not buying a ticket.

Or just watch the original story again, since everyone seems to have forgotten what a re-release is.

I'm taking a nap. Thanks for sticking it out, if you made it this far into whatever the Hell this is.

[corvus--rex]

So this one is my first ever fully dance au, and is also in the sleeping category. The first chapter is split into two parts and starts Keith-centered and then Lance will come in a little later. It's also another Omegaverse, this time with Omega Keith & Alpha Lance. As usual, skip it if it's not your thing :)

~*~*~*~

Keith Kae kept his joints loose, movements fluid, even when the tempo increased and became sharper, he was still liquid. Those movements had been committed to memory, and he let the beat of the song carry him. No matter what he was doing professionally, EDM of all flavors would always remain a favorite. He had turned the volume up, losing himself in the music. It was his practice room in any case. His mother owned Marmora Dance Studio and he had his own dedicated room, soundproofed to allow him to work in peace.

That peace was cut short when the music suddenly cut out.

“Got a call,” Shiro said. Keith’s half-brother, not that they ever cared about that specific designation. They were brothers, no halves about it.

“From who?” Keith asked, stopping where he was, meeting his brother’s eyes in the wall-spanning mirror without turning around.

“Altea.”

Keith spun around and stormed up, turning the music back on. “I'm not doing that fucking modeling bullshit. I’m a dancer, not a fucking model.”

Shiro turned the music off. “That’s not exactly why they called. One of their marketing people looked up your channel. They liked it. Altea wants you for an ad campaign as a dancer. They also said that even though it’s a little unusual, they want you to take the lead on choreography as well.”

Keith was sensing a “but”. He waited, staring at Shiro until his brother cracked.

“But there are a couple things,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

There it was.

“What things?” Keith asked, bracing himself.

“They said that it would be you and one other dancer.”

Ok. That he could deal with. It certainly wouldn’t be his first time working with someone else. But he knew that wasn’t everything. He waited again.

“And technically there’s a modeling clause in the contract. But it’s not what you're thinking.” Shiro deflated. He knew that Keith had negative interest in modeling, but he also knew what Altea wanted. “They sent over a copy of the contract and a more in-depth description of what the ad campaign would be like, and I looked through it. Their campaign involves a professional model for print ads, but they want you and this other dancer for video spots – tv, internet… Look, I know how you feel about modeling, but this would be good for your career. They don’t want you to model in the traditional sense. They want you to model through dance. You and this other dancer. Just – take a look. Please?”

Keith sighed. He still didn’t like it, but he couldn’t ever really say no to Shiro. He left the music off and walked out of his practice room for the front office. He immediately spotted the contract sitting neatly in the open folder, but that wasn’t what he was interested in. What he wanted was the outline for the ad campaign that was spread out across the reception desk. Without sitting, Keith picked up the scattered sheets, putting them back in order before turning back to his brother.

“I’ll look at it. But I am not promising anything.”

Shiro accepted the answer, letting Keith pass him.

Keith left with the folder, heading toward the private bathroom connected to his mother Krolia’s office. He tossed the folder on her desk on the way through, retrieving his backpack from the corner, trying to ignore the fact that Krolia was in the room. He wasn’t subtle about his irritation, however, and she looked up when the aqua file folder hit the desktop.

“Ah,” she said, far too cheerful for Keith’s current mood, “I see Takashi got through to you finally.”

He grunted before answering. “I said I’d look at it. I am not promising either one of you anything.”

Krolia pushed back from her desk, leaning back in her seat. “I know you’re not interested in the modeling aspect, but that’s not what this is. You’d be performing to a global audience through this ad campaign. You. Out of all the dancers they could have chosen to lead this, they want you.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Keith sighed, “But I feel like they're just trying for the same thing and just changing tactics to get what they want. I don’t want to accept and then have them spring something on me that I don’t want. I’ll – I’ll look at it. But if they want anything I've already said no to, I'm not doing it.”

“That’s all I ask. Dance has been your entire life for twenty years. You’ve made a decent life of it, but this may well be what you need to really get out there. Just think about it, ok?”

He crossed the room, stopping in the doorway. “Yeah. I’ll look over the outline. I’ll think about it.”

“He won’t come back. He can’t, if that’s what you’re afraid of. You’re safe. We made sure of it.” Krolia’s tone was soft. Her attempts at reassurance didn’t go unnoticed.

“I know that,” Keith said, turning around, “But it doesn’t mean I won’t worry about it. If I do this, the video will be all over the world. Altea’s a global company. When I toured with that pop princess last year the focus wasn’t on me, and the only reason I even went was as a last-minute replacement because one of her regular dancers got in that accident.”

“And you made some friends there. My point is that he can’t come after you. I know this ad campaign means that you’ll be center stage, but I really feel like this is the push you need. If you decide to take the contract, they’ll need to know about him anyway, and I can guarantee they’ll have extra security because of it. It’s Altea, it’s not like they can’t afford it,” she said, her last sentiment added with a huff of laughter.

“I just wish they didn’t have to,” he mumbled, turning back to leave.

Keith startled at his mother’s touch, not hearing her come up behind him.

~`~`~`~

Still need to connect these two parts, but still the same chapter

~,~,~,~

95 Vox sounded like it would be some upscale, overpriced place, but instead, it was one of, if not the best, places he’d ever found. Ok, found was a stretch. He’d been introduced to it through a friend from high school who used to dance until an injury cut that short. But now Hunk helped run the place with his girlfriend Shay and her family. While they focused on the bakery side of the business, they also made damn good coffee. And that was what Keith needed right then. Especially if he was going to read through this – whatever it was – that Shiro had talked him into looking at.

The coffee shop was light and airy, with pale-stained wood furniture and fixtures, dark wood floors, and clean lines. Shay was working on a drink at the espresso bar, and she lit up when she saw Keith walk in. She handed the drink off to her waiting customer before greeting Keith more fully.

“Hey, how’s it going? Rough day?” she asked gently. Shay had always been good at reading people and knew that Keith was not in a particularly good mood.

“You could say that. I don’t know if Hunk’s told you anything about what’s going on,” he answered, fatigue and resignation in his voice.

Confusion pinched Shay’s face for a second before realization lifted her features. “This is about the Altea thing, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. They haven’t stopped. But now they're changing tactics and I let Shiro talk me into looking it over. So now I'm here. I refuse to touch this uncaffeinated.”

~`~`~`~

Second part. This is where Lance comes in

~,~,~,~

“I cannot believe you did this. That you even managed to do it. How? How did you pull this off?” Allura was incredulous, staring at her little brother from across the island in their parents’ kitchen.

“One,” Lance answered, shit-eating smirk firmly in place, “Professional stage name. Sticking ‘Lance Altea’ on my audition tape would have been noticed immediately. But literally no one’s heard of ‘Leandro Serrano’. Although using Mom’s maiden name was a little risky. But anyway, two, I am that good, and you know it. And three, I never showed my face. Not completely, not enough to recognize me.”

Allura put her coffee cup down, looking her brother over critically. “Well, it worked. The director for the campaign loved it and wants “Leandro” as the second dancer. What I want to know is what the fuck are you going to tell our parents?”

“I want this, Lura. I need it. I need to prove that I'm not just a useless heir to a fashion empire. You got into modeling and designing like Mom did, but everyone’s always just dismissed me. Dance was never good enough for them. Especially what I do. Not like they would have approved of ballet even if that’s what I did. But it doesn’t matter. I’m doing this.

[princesscas]

That N*ncy and her crew came at me for making a parallel post and started abusing and mocking me and they didn’t ever give me a chance to explain I was pointing out the differences between the two moments. They made me leave the fandom as a result because I was so upset and shocked by their hostility to someone who literally just made that one post. It was crushing...

UGH JESUS CHRIST- Alright strap in, this is a loooong one ‘cause I need to let out some steam. *Puts on some (live!) Alice In Chains while I write this* 

First off before I delve deep into this: I’m so, so, so, sorry that happened to you. You never, ever, ever, deserved that nor anyone else. Block them. I’ve had N & Crew blocked for years (even another blog when N’s original blog got removed by Tumblr, yes that happened) I would not be surprised in the slightest if N talks about me and others on here but I wouldn’t know thanks to that wonderful button. 

I’ve noticed over the years that they love to prey on smaller blogs and people new to the fandom. They love to scare people away, just like you. no matter what. You like Cas? “You’re a Casti-ewer!!” You like Deancas? “Leave destiheller!” You like Mish? “Ew, a minion!” You like Gen & Danneel? “Go away beard stans!” I’m not exaggerating on those names. They’ve made up countless names and the mockery they do is outright disgusting. In fact, just last night while I was on a block-spree, N made a comment on a post saying she couldn’t stand working at Staples because her co-worker was, and I quote, "worked with a castiheller, we didn’t get along that well.” Jesus, leave the poor guy alone with his opinions on the show, would you? This is what they do. Ordinary fans off the street aren’t even safe. Think the show got better once Cas or another character was introduced? You are now their enemy.   

Many fandoms have toxic sides to them, I know and I’ve seen others even when I wasn’t too involved with them. But the ‘Bronlies’ side of the Superdooperbloop fandom? This shit is on some new levels kind of toxic. You can’t reason with these people. No matter what, they will twist your words and spin their bullshit around like they’re better than everyone else. 

I said to that hate blog, use a blacklist addon (heck, I think Tumblr has implemented this feature now) and what did they say? "Learn how to be a civilized and productive member of society instead of a spoiled entitled brat. There is something seriously wrong with them.” The fuck? I came off as nice as could be and they threw that up right in my face. It’s impossible. I’m legit concerned with these people. If this is how they treat others on the internet, what the hell do they do in real life? That’s scary. 

They hate any and everyone who writes fanfic with Canon-Divergence. (or art or anything for that matter) They spew this bullshittery: “You forget the REAL Canon.” I feel like I’m going to turn into Doom Guy levels of rage at that. 

They yell, ‘This isn’t canon therefore you can’t do that.’ It’s utter bullshit because they don’t consider what happens in the last seasons (4 above and 13+ especially) canon. It’s 3000% hypocritical. Also 2) They say we can’t have destiel but they can go on their merry way with w////t. I don’t ship shame, that’s not who I am but some of them ship w/////t as underage in some of the more fucked up ways imaginable. I’m not talking AO3 Teacher/Student fucked up, I’m talking...I’m stopping right there no one needs to know about that. 

They exclude (and hate) every single character except Salmon and Deer. It’s like they refuse to realize that these character have other relationships. They claim time and time again that Deancas shippers have harassed the cast/crew/writers when the reality is the complete opposite. The shit Gen, Danneel, and other female cast members have faced is criminal. 

I wish N*ncy4*4 and Co would just give up and leave already. Jen, Jar, Mish, Danneel, Gen, Rich, and the entire cat has said time and time again, they do not like nor endorse that side of the fandom. Gen and Danneel especially because they’ve personally faced that crew since they’re both on Instagram now. These people...act like Jar and Jen don’t know nor realize they don’t want them in the fandom. 

God, I long for the day after the show ends. Imagine when Mish and everyone can just...talk about things they weren’t able to before. I don’t know if they would talk about it but I’d give anything for it to happen. Mish esp with the way he’s been treated over the years. 

I don’t know if you or anyone else knows about this, but she literally trash talked the orphanage in Hati that Random Acts built. Here’s a video of Misha basically saying ‘f-you’ to that post. 

Again, I’m so sorry that happened to you :( Please don’t listen to them. I know they love to claim they’re 95% of the fandom but the reality is they’re 5%. Go ask a random Souperbloop fan on Reddit or anywhere outside of Tumblr, they won’t know a damn thing about whatever these antis think. 

I’m ending this with a Reggie quote: 

[wearevillaneve]

Bad Reviews of Killing Eve DON’T MATTER (and neither do good ones).

We are literally hours away from the season 3 premiere of Killing Eve and as we get closer the reviews are starting to roll out and some of them are...well, less than positive.

“...the Honeymoon phase is over. We know these two can’t make it together in the long run and so does the show itself. That’s the problem. “ (Observer) “As each new showrunner is left to pick up the pieces left by the person who came before, they valiantly try to recapture the magic of Season 1, but the shine only continues to wear off as the characters never seem to move forward in any meaningful way and the narrative doubles down on its least interesting storylines, mainly the shadowy organization known as the Twelve.” (TV Guide) “...I found myself longing throughout for scenes featuring the impish Villanelle, dressed in a variety of wigs and custom suits. Perhaps that’s the point – the viewer is supposed to relate to Eve’s acute boredom, or Carolyn’s inertia – but if that is the case, I’m hopeful that in the episodes to come, (Suzanne) Heathcote spreads the fun a little more evenly. “ (Radio Times) “Killing Eve has already been renewed for a fourth season, so criticism is probably pissing in the wind, but the truth is that beyond Comer, it doesn’t have much left to offer. Sometimes killing can be a mercy.“ (Independent)

Okay.  You get the idea.  Some television critics really dislike the new season of Killing Eve.   Some television critics really like the new season of Killing Eve.  So,which critics should you listen to? I suggest none of them.  Opinions are like assholes: everybody's got one.  In full disclosure,  I used to be a critic of movies, books and film.  I enjoyed the gig, but I always said the only difference between a critic’s viewpoint and the fans was mine gets published.

That was before the Internet made everybody a critic.  Now you don’t need a newspaper or magazine to tell you what rocks and what sucks.  You can literally find all sorts of ordinary people offering their hot takes on what they think of cars, bourbon, movies, video games and especially movies and TV.   Why do you think we’re getting so much Tiger King bullshit shoved down our throats?

What Killing Eve 2020 has run into is something Killing Eve 2018 did not have to face: the weight of our expectations.

Consider this: all of these reviews are based upon what the five episodes the writer BBC has provided.  That’s enough of a sample size to draw some conclusions upon the quality of KE Season Three, but it’s an incomplete picture. The critics have only seen the first five episodes out of eight total. They don’t know how the stories are resolved or not, or what happens in the finale.  That's like walking out of a movie halfway and assuming you know how everything turns out in the end. If you create art and you think it’s beautiful and you put it out for public consumption and say “Behold, the splendor of my vision” and some smart-ass says, “It’s ugly as a goat’s ass” are you going to slink away in shame? Nah.  Just shrug it off as, “That’s your opinion, buddy” and keep it moving.  Shake the haters off.  Killing Eve is not immune to negative reviews,  nor should it be.   Being critical of something is not the same thing as being negative.   This is a show in its third season and that means it is now subject to being compared against itself. 

Something has to fall in third place, but when Sade warbled, “It’s never as good as the first time,” she wasn’t entirely right. Sometimes it’s better than the first time.  What Killing Eve 2020 has run into is something Killing Eve 2018 did not have to face: the weight of expectations.   We all have them and some of us will be pissed off when they aren’t realized. 

Just because in the eyes of some the thrills and wit of showrunner Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s breakout season hasn’t been matched by her replacements, Emerald Fennell and now, Suzanne Heathcote, that is no reason to declare the show needs to be put down like a sick dog.   It’s that critics are no different than the rest of us.  They want to recapture the rhapsody of The First Time. Eve and Villanelle aren’t the same people they were two seasons ago and neither are we.  When I sit down Sunday night, it won’t be like the first time, but there’s no such thing as secondary virginity.  Once you lose your innocence, you’re now experienced.  Killing Eve at its worst is still better than 95 percent of what’s on TV at any given moment.   Maybe this season won’t deliver the goods, but you know what?  That’s my determination to make and it’s your decision too. Don’t let a critic think for you.  You can draw your own conclusion.  Never wait for someone else to cosign your own tastes.  “I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.”    ―      Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart  

[seeminglyseph]

I’m just having a confusion moment over some of the twitter drama about predators and stuff... putting it under the cut ‘cause it’s probably triggering and maybe discussing my own trauma, but mostly I’m just kinda lost.

So a girl is in very big trouble for sending some explicit material to a friend who said ‘I turn 18 in two months’ And I understand 100% that you cannot send smut to minors, but then showing the receipts the 17 yr-old begged for the content in friendly conversation. I started really having sex at 16, and even then mostly because my first girlfriend was long distance, she had started having sex at 13. Some members of my high school group were having sex and some members of my high school group weren’t. But we were all 100% horny. We bought porn manga because the comic shops never bothered to ID because manga is just kinda Like That. We were on y!gallery despite the age restriction (my ex actually got her account blocked because she mentioned her birthday on another website with the same username and someone found it. so like people were definitely trying)

But we were also like... I’ll say sneaky but let’s be honest a group of teenagers form a circle around a book and gasp and giggle for 30 minutes and the supervising teacher was probably rolling their eyes at our extreme subtlety.

I know I used “I’m not 18 yet” as an excuse for guys who wanted to date me, because I had a lot of dudes in their 20s be creeps about it but I had big tits and an eating disorder, like when I turned 18 I still lied to strangers because it ended a lot of conversations. “Hey how old are you?” “Sixteen?” “Oh. I was gonna flirt with you but now it’s weird. Really sixteen? Is my sister gonna look like this when she’s sixteen?” and then he and his friends decided that he had to get buff so he could defend his sister’s honor. It was kinda cute and I mostly only heard them teasing him as they left but I think it was a good way to handle the situation. So I understand clinging to that...

but I don’t understand this like “I was 17, acting my age which is pretty much the same as everyone in the bundled age group of 16-21″ like there’s a reason ID laws are so strict it can be literally impossible to tell the age of someone in late-stage puberty because it’s all dramatic changes and shifts at totally randomized time periods for every person. I stopped growing at 5′2″ and gained enough face to have baby cheeks so people do not believe me that I’m 32. And it’s not just appearance. People mature at wildly different rates depending on life situations or interests or personality. I feel like ‘bundled almost 18 into 18′ isn’t... pedophilia or sexual assault. This is the situation of a kid asking an adult to buy them a hustler while they’re getting their smokes. like 95% of people would say ‘eh. growin’ boys gotta have some appetite.’

I have never been so insane stupid horny as I was when I was a teenager, and I know as a teenager a lot of folks just think that’s the mainstream line of horny and therefore all adults are equally brimming with nervous energy and unexpected boners or wearing liners when you don’t have your period. And some are I guess, but mostly that mellows out, but we remember being 17 or whatever. And like thinking “When I was 17 I was either gonna read the gay porn on the internet or start accepting the offers from strange guys to figure out how this works” like... shit most of this is over cartoon porn too? Shit with glowing dicks and censored pussies and it’s like...

I know the world is absolutely terrifying, and in trying to warn people about the very real threat of internet predators we’ve kind of made every adult into a threat and it has been making folks completely refuse to grow? Like if as soon as you turn 18 you’re a predator, then everyone under 18 is the victim, and it’s fucking people up.

When I was 20 I joined an RP forum and met a group of women (at the time) in their thirties who encouraged me and were kind, and were old enough to see when I was in a dangerous situation even if I couldn’t. When I was 20 I was also sexually assaulted and harassed by a different 30 year old woman who took advantage of my lack of experience, connections and confidence. I know very clearly that you cannot trust one group of people implicitly because they seem like the good guys. but just like predators can use the inexperience to take advantage, a friend will see that inexperience and give you the tools so you won’t be as unprepared as they were.

I think a lot of adults go into the world trying to be the person they needed when they were a teen, but there are monsters out there who think of the person they needed as a teen and use it to hurt people. But every older person who might say ‘always fucking use lube I don’t care what anyone says chaffing sucks use fucking real lubricant. NO FOOD PRODUCTS.’ is not a creep. Because sometimes folks need to be told that peeing after penetrative sex can decrease the chance of UTIs, or that dental dams are easy to make and lesbians can get STIs too so honestly please just cut open a condom before you go down because you will Never Get Rid Of Herpes. Cold sores are herpes please don’t go down on someone if you have a cold sore. I’m sorry, I know, it’s shitty, you don’t have to call it herpes, you probably got it sharing lipgloss it’s fine but be careful.

I’m really fucking serious don’t put food products in your junk. blowjob poprocks will give you both a yeast infection and it will itch so much in a place you can’t politely scratch and you will regret it so much.

[nightowlfandom]

ROUND THREE- PROMPT LIST (REQUEST NOW, READ ALL OF THIS)

 So this is the THIRD installment of my “x reader” prompt list. HOORAY! In light of leaving for so long it’s made me realize that I feel dead inside without writing so, I’m gonna do it again and hopefully this time stay. Also since I don’t eat, breathe, sleep, and shit kpop and actually like some other things too, I feel it’s a good opportunity to share how I’d like various anime characters to fuck me up in more ways what one (wink wonk). I will also say I might only do “character x reader” because I am absolute shit at doing ships. It’s just not my thing and plus I love making peoples personal fantasies come true, it is a big hobby of mine. 

Also if you request a character (assuming you’re asking for an anime request)  that is portrayed as a young teenager, then most likely (scratch that, the word I’m thinking of is “absolutely”) he/she will be written in a universe as a young adult/older than 18 because I’m all about legal consent to doing the fun shit either that...or not at all. (I have to make this big because I cannot stress enough how important this rule is and if you can’t comply, then I have every right to reject your request) Don’t argue with me please.

Rules- You may choose up to 5 prompt numbers if you can’t choose, talk to me and we’ll go through it together because I’m here to capture your horny ass vision. (Example- You wanted to request 3, 4, 12, 45, and 23). Please start with telling me which character you’d like me to write for and give me some insight. (Example- You want a J-hope office AU, then explain the preface like hate to love, secret affair, cute office shit. Or let’s say for example you want something Levi Ackerman related and you talked back to him and he don’t like dat so he “punishes you” ;) ). Get it? Also I take kinder asks more often so keep that in mind, I won’t take your request if you seem rude or whatever.  

Before you ask, yes I do AUs. A lot of my entries are in fact AUs and they are actually my preferred method because who doesn’t love a good AU!!?!! But yeah do not be afraid to ask about AUs

So I usually write for k-pop groups, mostly BTS but I’m broadening my horizon sooo ayye so you can request for Got7, Winner, The Rose, Day6, EXO, if you aren’t sure what other groups I write for you can always ask! 

Anime- Attack on Titan, Black Butler, Fairy Tail, Naruto, BNHA, Kageguri, Tokyo Ghoul, Assassination Classroom, Diabolik Lovers, (ESPECIALLY THIS ONE, I freaking love Diabolik Lovers) once again if you aren’t sure, then please ask. These are just examples but I try to reach every aspect.

ANYTHING BY VOLTAGE- Kissed By The Baddest Bidder, Our Two Bedroom Story, Enchanted In The Moonlight, Butler Until Midnight, Scandal In The Spotlight,   PLEASE REQUEST IT BECAUSE AAAAHHHH I LOVE IT. I do not care which game, just tell me which guy from which game and I will make it happen because Voltage Games are a huge part of me. Just tell me which guy from which game.

Now onto the good stuff! (Also please note that some prompts won’t make sense with some characters and the only reason that is is so everyone can find something to attach to who they want) 

So this first part, is going to be what was on the previous prompt, after number 55 will be the new added on stuff just in case any one of my followers recognizes these. 

1- “How miserable must I be before you’re satisfied?”

2- “Guess I’m not cut out for this dating thing, huh?”

3-“Damnit! Do you have any idea how amazing you are?! Stop being so damn insecure”

4- “Don’t argue with me on this!!”

5- “I can’t just be friends with you…I can’t.”

6- “Do you have to be so annoying all the time?”

7- “No, you can not stay here…I don’t care that it’s raining!”

8- “Why can’t you see that I-….that I-”

9- “Stop pretending to be asleep..”

10- “ Could we go four seconds without you being annoying?”

11-“do you not know what the word ‘mine’ means?”

12- “Shhh, wouldn’t want anyone to hear us now would we?”

13- “I dare you to finish that sentence…”

14- “Someone’s a little irritable today…”

15- “We can’t all be a perfect prettyboy popstar!”

16- “You just…you just kissed me!! *Insert freaked out face here*”

17- “We’re only sharing a bed, it isn’t the end of the world.”

18- “Only make that face in front of me.”

19- “If you wanted my attention…all you had to do was ask.”

20- “I’m bored, wanna fuck?”

21- “Can’t you see that I…I…forget it”

22- “…I can’t kiss you the way I want…”

23- “It was foolish of me to think you could ever want a relationship with me…forget it.”

24- “I aim to please…”

25- “When did this topic even come up!”

26- “You’re so boring, haven’t you ever been wild?”

27- “Hm…I like when you do that.”

28- “I’m more than capable of being rough with you babe. You just watch.”

29- “Where the hell did you learn that?!?!”

30-“Well, the boys accidentally…saw that picture you sent…Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

31-“You need to be taught a lesson…”

32- “Shh, wouldn’t want the boys to hear us, now would you?”

33-I don’t understand you sometimes…but I like it.“

34- ” Don’t pretend that wasn’t on purpose…come here.“

35- ” I’m not so happy about doing a duet with you of all people…but could you at least try and not be a..” ( obviously used for kpop requests but this can be modified so don’t worry :) )

36- “Don’t pretend to care when you obviously don’t.”

37- “Am I making you nervous, Y/N?“

38-“I never thought I would see the day you actually take my advice ”

39- "Just admit you want fuck me…if you behave, I might just let you.”

40- “I…I think you’re wonderful…those horrible people you’ve dated…they didn’t deserve you.”

41- “It’s you and me, not us and them. Fuck what they think.”

42- “Oh my gosh, we didn’t…HOLY SHIT WE DID. You tell anyone and there will be one less idol in the world!” 

43- “You’re so quiet…is something wrong?”

44- “Maybe, if you beg, I might….”

45- “Go to sleep, I promise I’ll wake you up.”

46- “This could be more than just another one night stand…”

47- “It’s amazing what the internet will teach you” *casually holding handcuffs*

48- “…you deserve better, someone who cares about you.”

49- “Can’t I do something nice without being suspicious??”

50- “Finally alone…”

51- “Maybe, we could…be boyfriend and girlfriend.?”

52- “You can’t call me cute!”

53- “Have a nice sleep?”

54- “How stupid do you think I am?”

55- “ Are you shy? Around little ol me?”

... 

 56- “Is this how it’s gonna be between us, just fighting all the time?”

57- “You know after all that, you can still look at me and see something worth loving?”

58- “Avoiding me won’t fix your undying love for me, many have tried but all have failed Y/N.”

59- “Me? Self-centered? No no never!”

60- “You are the complete opposite of subtle and it’s amusing.”

61- “No! What are you afraid of?!? Why is is so hard to believe than someone like me could have feelings for you!”

62- “What did they do to you, I won’t ask again....”

63- “I want...to stay with you for as long as possible. Please...let me?”

64- “Even if I have to rip (your enemy’s name) heart out with me bear hands, I will always protect you.”

65- “What? (innocent face) I’m just massaging your shoulders.”

66- “You’re pretty cute for such a clumsy buffoon. Hmm Maybe I’ll keep you!”

67- “Hm, When you put it that way, it makes me sound like a monster.”

68- “ Oh honey, I treat you like a maid because that’s basically all you are.”

69- “Hmmm...turn your body around. Just like that, I wanna try something.” (You all saw this coming and shame on you if you didn’t)

70- “You want me to name all the reasons I love you?....We’d be here forever.”

71- “Oh baby, you’re terrible at hide and seek....but I’ll play along.”

72- “ Oh look, she finally stands up for herself...hmm. I like this side of you.”

73- “The guy you saw....isn’t me...give me a chance to change your mind.”

74-” What? Why are you crying??!! Oh for fu-”

75- “I bully you because it’s fun....no other reason really.”

76- “Why are you so breathtaking god-damnit!”

77- “I know you’ve never....done anything with anyone before...so I’m gonna make damn sure your first time is special!”

78- “ Call me cliche, but you really do look great in the moonlight.”

79- “ What’s this? A sketchbook? You won’t mind if I take a peek, right?”

80- “Shut up! I’m not blushing!”

81- “You look so...inviting all tied up.”

82- “You’re so good at taking orders. I wonder what else you’re good at.”

83- “Okay since when did getting into a fight for your honor become a bad thing?!!?”

84- “What’s the word I’m looking for?....Pet!”

85- “I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, I promise!”

86- “ Me? Y-you like me? Y/N, If you’re joking you aren’t really funny y’know.”

87- “That’s pretty bold for something whose only wearing a towel.”

88- “So you didn’t think I’d catch you looking at some other guy right in front of me?!?!’

89- “ Me? A jerk? Hm...I didn’t know you felt that way....I’m-”

90- “Okay stop it already! People are gonna think I’m bullying you if you keep sobbing like that.”

91- “Hm, do you even have friends or is hanging out alone in an empty classroom/room all you do all day?”

92- “How do you expect me to focus when you’re practically begging for me to come over there and show you who you belong to??”

93- “Let’s say...for example...I was the one who left the love letter by your door...what would you say?”

94- “Do you enjoy being bullied by me? Are you a masochist or something?”

95- “ It’s not everyday I let you be in control...enjoy it babe.”

96- “Someone’s been messing with you? Are you gonna tell me who or not?”

97- “Is my heart just some sort of game to you!?!!?”

98- “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face around here after our last....interaction.”

99- “Oh don’t stop because of me, you looked so cute dancing around.”

100- “ I didn’t know...you were so talented. You’re amazing.”

101- “ Please never give up, for me, for us...”

102- “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m hugging you.”

103- “If I can eat your cooking every day, I’ll be happy.”

104- “ What can we say....sharing is caring.” (...best paired with threesome requests but haaaayy can be used for anything else.)

105- “ You need to learn some respect...bend over.”

[szivtalan]

8, 9, 16, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36, 40, 41, 42, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 50, 53, 55, 57, 58, 59, 62, 64, 65, 70 (aside from Kagami 😂), 71, 72, 79, 82, 86, 87, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99 for the "Asks, why not" thing please? (Omg that's soo much, I'm sorry I got carried away ^^')

8) Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Average height, bordering on short. Broad shoulders, thick arms and thighs, square face, slightly projecting ears (one pierced, one with a stretched lobe), bushy arched brows, thick square glasses, faded dark red hair, dark brown eyes, butt chin. I look pale and perpetually sleep deprived.

9) What do you/did you study?

I was in a teacher’s training program for English and Hungarian language and literature, and I’m planning to go back to school to study sociology!

16) What do you look for in a SO?

Consciously: understanding, fun, sweet, kind and accepting. Unconsciously: somewhat broken and in dire need of emotional help which I’m desperate to provide lmao.

19) Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Eh, u know, it depends? I don’t think I’m fit for a serious relationship right now, so I’d prefer casual stuff atm, but on the long run I do want a partner to share my life with.

20) What are your deal breakers?

Really obnoxious people, ignorance and bigotry I guess. And I’m not keen on someone pushing or disrespecting my boundaries, either.

21) How was your day?

It was good!! My bro, his girlfriend and my friend tagged along to get our (me and my soon-to-be sis-in-law’s) ears pierced, and then my friend and I got a loot of food. I didn’t exactly feel good enough abt myself to be comfortable outside, but I got a lot of random kindness and that was Nice.

22) Favourite food & drink

Food: teriyaki chicken and seafood pasta, drink: ginger ale and iced coffee

23) What position do you sleep in?

I sleep half-curled up on my side, but I need to toss and turn a little until I find The Best Position.

25) Your fears

The dark, needles, rabbits (I don’t even know, dude), the fact that I’ll die without having made an impact on the world, being spoken about behind my back, being a bad influence on my friends.

28) Any pets?

Not right now! I used to have two rottweilers around the house growing up, but they both passed away sadly.

29) What are your hobbies?

Writing, sketching, basketball, getting on people’s nerves, researching typology, watchin movies idk?

31) What was your last awkward situation?

Asjhdh the ticket control guy told me to “Have a safe trip” and I said “You too!”. This rarely happens to me tho

32) What is your last regret?

Not holding my friend’s hand on public transport. It was…right…there….and she already told me she’s more than comfortable with physical touch! I’m a fool! Everyone thinks I hate touching but I don’t! I’m just shy!

34) Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

Ehh. Kind of? As for believing, I believe more in ghosts, but I do see some patterns in different signs. I just try not to let it affect the way I see/interact with a person, because no one deserves to be prejudiced for whatever reason, especially not their date of birth. Tarot is just fun, and the cards r cool

35) Have any quirks?

I bite the skin on my fingers, scratch my acne, make my knees jump… most of it is just regular anxiety stuff tho so idk?? I do think I’m quirky, but there’s just too much weird stuff to list ‘em.

36) Your pet peeves

Cig/booze stink on a person, customers being rude, bigotry, interrupting other people… There’s quite some things that annoy me asjdgd

40) Last 5 things from your search history

Boku No Hero Academia, Hawks, duck emoji, Grumman fma, How To Train Your Dragon

41) What’s your device backgrounds?

My phone lockscreen rn is a beautiful KagaKuro fanart of them standing in the rain in yukatas, Kagami looming over Kuroko and shielding him from the rain and Kuroko reaching up to stroke his face; my phone background is an art of they/them pronouns tattooed on someone’s knuckles, their posture unsure; my laptop background is a screenshot from the movie Déva, of blue skies and a street lamp.

42) What do you daydream about?

…cu..cuddling,,my…crush……..

44) What's your religion/Your thought about religion

Short version: barf

Long version: I was raised catholic (even tho I was never baptized), and attended catholic school for 8 years which gave me a really warped idea of Christianity, Which made me a cynic & an agnostic or atheist by proxy. I harshly criticize the catholic church and faith but sometimes… when I do feel hopeless I get down on my knees and pray, so I guess if I let myself find my own faith I’d be a believer. But right now, I’m good just existing in my nihilistic bubble

45) Your personality type

Needy imeanwhat. In a typological sense, I’m an INFP in Myers-Briggs, 4 core 5 wing in Enneagram, melancholic or sanguine in the temperaments, et cetera. Basically I’m a sad daydreamer with unresolved issues and a need to do Art

47) Are you happy with your current life?

Nah bro. I like my friends and my workplace but I’d like to move out of home ASAP. I’d also… like to get therapy before I go and put myself out there.

48) Some things you've tried in your life

Playing the guitar, hostess work, weed, cigarettes, being blackout drunk, smoking from a hookah, cooking, football, handball, basketball, volleyball, cycling, sailing, driving, hitchhiking long distances, folk dancing, one-night stands, long-distance relationships, helping people in need…

50) Favourite colour to wear?

Olive green, midnight/navy blue, white, grey and black.

53) If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I’d… like to know how it would feel if I had a flat chest and a penis? I also want bigger Guns, and Abs, some more tattoos and maybe an eyebrow piercing.

55) Do you get complimented often?

I think so? I usually brush off compliments uhhh but yeah maybe! Maybe idk

58) Songs you're currently obsessed with?

My friend’s playlist reminded me that ‘Phenomenon’ by Thousand Foot Krutch exists. I’m also really into ‘San Francisco’ by The Mowgli’s atm and ‘Golden Time Lover’ by Sukima Switch!

59) Song you normally wouldn't admit you like.

I mean, it’s not like it’s cringe or anything, I hate cringe culture BUT. I do have Ariana Grande’s ‘Side to Side’ stuck in my head rn

64) Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing pretty badly, play a bad tune on my guitar, drum on the edge of my table, so- Nah not really asdh

65) Do you like karaoke?

YES VERY MUCH I live and die for karaoke, last time I did it in front of an audience we sung the Shaman King opening at an anime con with friends, it was Rad

70) Your fictional crush/es

AH NO FUN Kagami’s my number one,,, let’s see then: Aomine, Roy Mustang, Kise, Mikoto Suoh, Hotch & Reid from Criminal Minds, Yagami Light, Jaime Lannister and Brienne from GoT, Rustin Cohle from True Detective, Shizuo Heiwajima from Durarara!!!, why is this list full of men I didn’t think I liked men this much

71) Which fictional character is you?

Eddie Brock from Venom I mean? He’s a whole ass mess.

79) How much time do you spend on the internet?

Yike. More than I’d be proud of.

86) Would you use death note, if you had one?

No way dude. I don’t fuck with that shit, karma would fuck me right back.

87) What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I’d eliminate money and power and just make it a huge peaceful hippie community or something idk

90) What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Donate me to a medical school I don’t care. Make use of me! I’m gonna be dead, I won’t have any more feelings left to be hurt or anything asdghdsg

91) If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

I’ve had a name in mind that I tried out once, but it didn’t really work out for me after all. I’m fine with Vee and Vic rn. Anything that isn’t my given name. I do want to change my surname to my mother’s, but if I do that I also want to give myself a different first name, and since That isn’t figured out yet, I’m just?? Call me whatever dude

94) Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

Ugh, I’m bad at these. 1) I have plenty of moles. 2) My eyesight is pretty good. 3) I’ve broken some bones before.

95) Cold or hot?

Cold in beverage, hot in weather.

96) Be a hero or be a villain?

Being a villain is way too much fun, but I have too strong of a conscience to pull that off, so… hero, I guess.

97) Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Asjhdf singing is funnier and more annoying, since I Cannot Sing

98) Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Dude I’m non-binary. Shapeshifting for Sure

99) Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Aight I’ll give in – I agree to immortality Just This Once.

[brandygallon46-blog]

quote print name card insodo

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[atimefordragons]

IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, I SHALL PUNISH YOU! || EHS

☾♔; May 19, 2020 ☾♔; 2:19am ☾♔; sotd: Man of the World (Takanashi Yasuharu) ☾♔; cotd: Kuruma ☾♔; Elite Highschool ☾♔; Audition

𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: Sailor Moon, the Champion of Justice!

𝐀 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞 (𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟑, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎): Finally done, I'm soz for taking so long! I've just been Narutoing. He's my boy, dattebayo!  

☆──════ ⋆ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋆ ════──☆

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒

➤TITLE: S̶p̶o̶r̶t̶y̶ ̶S̶p̶i̶c̶e̶  The Sports Star ➤OC NAME: Katarina Văduva ➤AGE: 16   ➤BIRTHPLACE: Brăila, Romania ➤BIRTHDAY: December 31 ➤FACE CLAIM: Bruna Marquezine ➤USERNAME: @.dracarysbitch

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

➤LIKES: football (soccer, not the american one), eurovision (obvs), tennis, volleyball, basketball, ice hockey, figure skating, anime, manga (loves shoujo, but would rather die than admit it), a song of ice and fire (of course), russian literature (tolstoy is a fav ofc), winter, blizards, snowstorms, fresh snow, sweet foods, video games (dragon age, assassin's creed, the witcher, until dawn, pokemon), sailor moon, pink, blue, stitch, disney (sleeping beauty is her fave, even though she doesn't really match her personality, it's more that her parents gave her away for her safety, and Kat used to imagine it was the same for herself when she was a kid), space, faberge eggs, sanrio (her favourites are Kuromi and Pandausa)

➤DISLIKES: sasuke uchiha (fucking bitch), supercilious people, the lodge (lol, grow up you fucking losers), shows that go on forever and never end (please, please just end), shows that have shit endings, game of thrones (fucking dumbfucks), americans, right-wing politics (it's so stupid, just grow a heart), religion (what a scam), being alone (either physically or with her thoughts, let's bury that shit), losing, being wrong, having to concede any ground on any matter whatsoever, not knowing things

➤HOBBIES: anything that is physical (fucking jocks, amirite?), she's loves going for jogs (can't relate - secretly naruto runs during night time jogs 'cause no one can see her being lame), and playing streetball, etc. watching anime, reading manga, ranting on the interwebs about her shows and books (in general she avoids the bigger internet drama 'cause it's stupid, but sometimes you gotta put a bitch in their place, 'CAUSE DAENERYS IS THE PRINCE THAT WAS PROMISED, FUCK YOU!), watching reruns of pro-games (can't relate, so boring)  

➤STRENGTHS: determined, perseverant (is that even a word?), passionate, relentless, protective, observant, straightforward (usually ends up insulting people though, so it's more of a weakness tbh), goal-oriented, independent, self-reliant, has enough self-awareness to not go off on weeb/otaku interests in front of most people, but if it's like a "smart" anime, she'll discuss it (like Death Note, she's not gonna fucking admit to still loving Naruto at this age, shut up), diligent, loyal, a bad bitch (lol, not so much, but she likes being perceived as a strong girl who can and will stab you with her stiletto. the image only lasts for a few seconds, she more just comes off as rude).

➤WEAKNESSES: stubborn, very blunt, which tends to come off as brash and rude, though she's not always intending to be mean, despite that rude, blunt nature, she's also a bit tsundere, and struggles admitting her to deeper feelings. Gets flustered when complimented (outside of sports, there she's fine 'cause I'm the best bitches, or so she says), and she just can't admit it when she needs someone, whether it be a friend or romantic interest, especially if it's a romantic interest, 'cause she's also of the mind of who needs a boyfriend when there's food? while she's observant when it comes to changes in people's behaviour, she in general lacks the capacity to act well on her observations, and is awkward when trying to comfort someone or cheer them up. When it comes to her own feels, part from rage, annoyance, or "Jock Mode", she can barely admit to them, let alone discuss them with other. Speaking of "Jock Mode", she is competitive AF, somewhat dismissive (this usually only comes out in games, but she tends to ignore weaker opponents in search of stronger ones who pose a challenge). Also tends to display some arrogance in the sports she's most talented it, particularly volleyball. It's not quite a personality flaw, but she's weak for loving parents, or just a loving family in general (in life and when watching movies, it makes her fucking cry every time, which really puts a damper on her tough girl image, it's not usually a visible one, but she can't hide the longing in her face when she watches a parent and their child being a normal, happy family). Definitely has tunnel-vision, once she has a goal in sight, that's all she sees. Can even be paired down to dumb things, like C-grade trashy alien movies. She tends to notice only the aliens and revel in their destruction, while ignoring everything else, including the plot. Has plenty of issues; abandonment, trust, ptsd - none of which she is dealing with. She's just ignoring it and hopes it goes away once she becomes a cool, reliable adult™️ (lol, good luck that, adult life is a lie).

𝐁𝐈𝐎

➤SHORT BIO: Katarina is half-Brazillian, half-Russian, though she is under the assumption that she is Romanian, she is biological the daughter of Vasily Raevsky, a Russian Oligarch, and Xuxa Amalia Reis Moreno, a Brazilian businesswoman and all round bad bitch. For reasons unknown to her, Katarina was in effect abandoned at birth and placed in a Romanian orphanage in Brăila, which is also presumed to be her birthplace. Her birth certificate lists both parents as unknown, the orphanage named her. Having no parents or known family, and raised in an orphanage has given Kat many self-reliant skills, and allows her to live independently, but it has also left her with a deep sense of loneliness (not to mention PTSD 'cause Romanian Orphan life is a nightmare). She recognizes that much of her yearning is still childish fantasy, and often covers up that desire with her brash nature or jock hobbies.

Growing up in the orphanage was... not easy. The Brăila Home for Children was not the best, to say the least. Though it could've been worse (*shudders at the case of the Sighetu Marmației institution for disabled children* - do better Romania, oh my god). The orphanage was under and poorly staffed. They would often neglect and abuse the children, one year shaving every childs head so they all looked the same, and often chaining rowdy children to their beds. During Katarina's time, many of her fellow orphans died from minor illness or injuries such as cataracts or anemia, which were treated poorly or simply ignored, and a number also starved to death. Because of this, Katarina has a habit of hoarding food, and keeping snacks under her pillow. She also has difficulty sharing, and despises headboards that are railed(? the ones with gaps, idk what to call them).

When she was around eleven, the orphanage received ample anonymous donations, leading to much improvement, and the arrival of a new Director, Ileana Cojocaru, who, over time, earned the trust of Kat and her fellow orphans, and became something of a surrogate mother. Ileana did a nearly complete staff overturn (fun side note, some of the staff, especially those who harmed Kat have gone missing in the past few years, coincidence? no), as well as hiring accomplished childcare professionals from all over the world to help the children. It was Ileana who sparked Kat's, or rather Rina as Ileana called her,  interest in sports, though Ileana was more into football herself, she encourage Kat to explore whatever she wanted, though particularly team sports so that Kat could foster dependent relations. Kat herself particularly enjoyed volleyball, joining a little league team and winning a number of competitions. Due to her skill both in setting and spiking, she usually plays in the Opposite Hitter position.

Katarina entered EHS in Highschool, on what she assumed to be the Elite's scholarship program, arranged by Ileana, who even said as such, though in truth, her entry and tuition are all being handled by an anonymous benefactor. This fact was revealed to Kat last summer after Ileana died (of p̶l̶o̶t̶ ̶d̶i̶s̶e̶a̶s̶e̶ cancer), whose lawyer was put in charge of the bank accounts meant to pay for all of Kat's needs. The lawyer refused to divulge whom the anonymous benefactor is, citing a non-disclosure clause, though the need to discover who has given Kat a whole new mission in life.

➤FAMILY: On Katarina's part, she doesn't believe she has one, though she does consider Ileana to be her family, and has grown to care somewhat about her fellow orphans from the Brăila Home, while growing up they were rivals struggling to survive. Ileana's death devastated her, and she's dealing with it by straight up ignoring it. Lol, I'm not sad, my eyes are just glistening with the ghosts of my past.

Biologically, despite her complete lack of knowledge of it, Kat comes from rather a rather illustrious family. Her mother, Xuxa Amalia Reis Moreno, is a Brazilian Businesswoman, herself the daughter of a self-made millionaire, Xuxa is expanded the Moreno parent company, MC Inc., an oil and mineral company in origin, into numerous side ventures, owning and operating businesses ranging from restaurants to magazines and clothing lines. Her father meanwhile, Vasily Raevsky, is of the (former) noble House of Raevsky, now oligarchs in modern-day Russia, who virtually control Russia's diamond and precious stone industry, currently owning controlling shares of ALROSA, the largest diamond mining company in Russia, and accounting for 95% of the countries diamond production, as well as 27% of the global diamond extraction, and the House of Fabergé, which they purchased after the fall of the Soviet Union. If she remained in the care of either of her parents, her name would technically be Katarina Vasilyevna Moreno Raevskaya, which is a fun and utterly useless fact.

Her parents met at a rich people conference (idk, Davos or some shit like that) and engaged in a short lived affair. Her father was already married and could not accept her, and her mother had no interest in being a mother at all, let alone a single one, leading to them choosing to give her up in Romania, an arbitrary choice that fucked her up, lol.

Via her father, she has an elder brother, Viktor Vasilyevich Raevsky, who is in fact her anonymous benefactor. Viktor discovered her existence after Vasily had an accident and was close to death, so he confessed his sins and what not. Viktor eventually tracked her down and sought to improve her life. Though he wants to bring her into the family, he doesn't for the sake of his mother who cannot deal with the affair, though she refuses to divorce Vasily for appearances sake.

𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀

➤MOODBOARD: https://tinyurl.com/y8a2gjy8 ➤SCHOOL WARDROBE/AESTHETICS: https://tinyurl.com/ycodubrb ➤PLAYLIST: https://tinyurl.com/y6wwmp74

➤TOP 3 CHARACTER PICKS: the Sports Star, the Princess, The Rebel(de) <-- lol, see what I did there? I'm so funny.

[hiiggsmonaghan]

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Are you fuckin’ kidding me--?

Alright, I’ll answer them ALL. 

1. Name: Higgs Monaghan Silver/Silvio

2. Nationality: Canadian/Acadian

3. Age: 22

4. Birthday: July 19th 

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign): Cancer

6. Gender: cis male

7. Sexuality: Gay

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself):  This will have to wait until a special reveal. (Future cosplay things.)

9. What do you/did you study?: ... Does Egyptian history count?

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have?: [Nervous laughter] I have no idea what I’d like to do for a job. 

-

11. Your birth order: First child

12. How many siblings do you have?: 1 “real” sibling, but so many siblings by bond.

13. Do you have good relations with your family?: Biological family? Absolutely not. Except for two of my cousins. They are cool.

14. How many friends do you have?: Too many that it’s obnoxious. [Just kidding, I appreciate you all.]

15. Your relationship status: Taken/Engaged

16. What do you look for in a SO?: Someone who can kick my ass. [Who can handle my anger outbursts]

17. Do you have a crush?: No. 

18. When did you have your first kiss?: When I was 14. It was forced and was a terrible experience. 

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?: Meaningful ones, funny enough.

20. What are your deal breakers?: Overly clingy, too loud, not respectful of my music choices

-

21. How was your day?: Cold. Snowstorm happened today.

22. Favourite food & drink: Pizzas/cheeseburgers || Strawberry slushie with tapioca pearls/orange juice

23. What position do you sleep in?: Fetal position. [Hahahah... ha.]

24. What was your last dream about?: Cannot remember.

25. Your fears: The ocean [drowning], deep forests.. uhh... There are others but I cannot think of it at the moment

26. Your dreams: To be on my goddamn motorcycle, livin’ a good life without my mental illness in the way.

27. Your goals: See above.

28. Any pets?: Not yet! Planin’ to get a black cat soon!

29. What are your hobbies?: Music and readin’

30. Any cool places in your area?: Pfft, no. It’s so fuckin’ boring here.

31. What was your last awkward situation?: I was at Tim Horton’s and there was a baby cryin’ behind me so I looked over at it and played... peek-a-boo with them. It was...weird. But at least the baby shut up. The mother didn’t do shit to make the baby stop cryin’ so.. Great Parenting.

32. What is your last regret?: Well too many to really talk about but I’ll go with the funny route and my last regret was not goin’ to Burger King yesterday and eatin’ salad instead of a burger. 

33. Language/s you can speak: English

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.): Not really. It’s all just whatever for me.

35. Have any quirks?: I bite my nails often... I pretend to conduct music while it is playing... uh...???

36. Your pet peeves: Everything.

37. Ideal vacation: Anywhere away from North America.

38. Any scars?: Many. 

39. What does your last text message say?: “Nah”

40. Last 5 things from your search history: Twitter, Vargskelethor’s twitch, Cloud Strife, YouTube, FF7 remake release date

41. What's your [device] background?: RK900 from Detroit Become Human

42. What do you daydream about?: Usually having super strength and throwing people whom bother me across the world or just... punchin’ them. 

43. Describe your dream home: A  simple house, really. Nothin’ too fancy. Just the idea of havin’ my own house? Even if it isn’t that big or anythin’... That is a dream for me. Oh, and I want it painted black. Hah.

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion: I’d say I’m atheist but... I do believe in God. I AM God. :)

45. Your personality type:  ISTP-T

46. The most dangerous thing you've done: [Looks at the list of dangerous things I have done] ... There are too many

47. Are you happy with your current life?: At the moment? Yeah. There are things I am still angry about but it’s... fine.

48. Some things you've tried in your life: Smoking. Drawing. Singing. Writing. Playing the guitar. ???

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?: Black and reds. 

50. Favourite colour to wear?: Black.

51. How would you describe your style?: Goth/punk

52. Are you happy with your current looks?: Eh.. Not really but it’s all I got.

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?: Grow. Damn. Facial. Hair. Holy FUCK.

54. Any tattoos or piercings?: Snake bites. But I took one out so only one lip piercing now. And tattoos? Soon. Very soon. [Gonna be Higgs’ themed, baby.]

55. Do you get complimented often?: No and when I do I make it Stop. I hate it. Never compliment me. 

56. Favourite aesthetic?: Black/gold aesthetics as of late.

57. A popular trend that you dislike: Everything. I hate them all.

- [FINALLY THE ONES I WANTED, JESUS CHRIST]

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with?:  Allesfresser by LINDEMANN 

It’s a great song to listen to for me because I just punch my punching bag to this song. Makes my anger just... go away. It’s fuckin’ nice.

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like: .... Let’s Dance by David Bowie

I am a new fan of David Bowie. It just literally started in July or late June. I’m the typical metal head but for some reason Bowie just caught my ear? I dunno, man.

60. Favourite genre?: METAL. Well, Power Metal. I love all sorts of metal except for like.. most death metal/black metal. It is too much for me sometimes. But yeah, if yall are into metal... I’m all ears. I love talkin’ about metal.

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?: Well I already spoke about my favorite genre. For favorite bands? God... Uh.. I have a list here of favorite bands/musicians. Check it out if you’re interested. 

62. Hated popular songs/artists?: Honestly? I’m gonna be one of those guys and say pretty much everything on the radio these days. I don’t like pop/rap and all the most popular stuff. Turning the radio on is ear torture these days. Except for the rock channel, that one is okay most of the time.

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5:

1 - System of a Down’s Chop Suey in the Style of Ghost by Ten Second Songs

This guy is simply AMAZING. If yall haven’t already, you NEED to check out his channel. He is wicked talented and he has different styles for different songs. Like for example, Metallica’s Enter Sandman in the style of David Bowie. It’s amazing. 

Check him out. His YouTube is Ten Second Songs.

2 - City by Hollywood Undead

This one just gives me my inner Higgs’ vibes. That is really all I can say.

3 - Mein Teil by Rammstein

4 - Cars by Fear Factory

5 -  龍が如く極 - Turning Point [From Yakuza Kiwami]

Yeah, hi. Yakuza fan here. Do I have to say any more? 

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?: I can kind of sing, [very badly, mind you] and sort of play the guitar. I’m tryin’ to learn Come as You Are by Nirvana at the moment... but that’s about it

65. Do you like karaoke?: 

.... Yes. My inner Nishiki in me just cannot lie about this.

66. Own any albums?: Absolutely. I am a firm believer in albums rather than just buying them digitally. I love having an actual copy in my hands rather just on the computer. 

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?: Not really. I only listen to the rock station.

-

68. Favourite movie/series?: Star Wars.

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc: Uhhh... I don’t know

70. Your fictional crush/es: Sam Fuckin’ Porter Bridges, General Hux, RK900...

71. Which fictional character is you?: [Chuckles nervously] 

Higgs Monaghan-- 

Too many to write down. I’ll just pass myself the trouble.

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so: Eh not really. Only like.. Gavin/RK900 [Reed900] and General Hux/Kylo Ren [Kylux/Huxlo]

73. Favourite greek god?: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? I don’t know?

74. A legend from where you live that you like: None.

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist?: I’m gonna be cheesy and say all of my friends because it’s true. I love my friends art.

76. Can you share your other social media?: Yeah sure. My twitter is @hiiggsmonaghan

77. Favourite youtubers?: Markiplier, Jacksepticeye... Streamers: Vargskelethor and Vinesauce

78. Favourite platform?: Tumblr and Twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?: .. Too long

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite?: Ones I have PLAYED that are my favorite: Pokemon, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy XV, Yakuza 0/Kiwami. 

I also have a lot a games I love that I just watched. Like a lot of Legend of Zelda games and of course Death Stranding!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts): Anything really by William Blake. I guess that really isn’t a “book” but.. all I really read are poems, Shakespearean plays and Egyptian history books.

82. Do you play board/card games?: No

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?: No

84. Favourite holiday: Halloween

85. Are you into dramas?: Not really.

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?: ABSOLUTELY. And I do have one. Well... a replica. Not the real one of course.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?: Get rid of the racists, rapists, pedos and homo/trans phobes. The world would just be more pleasant to live in, yeah?

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?: Probably. Because I stay inside a lot anyway.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?: A demon because I am that fuckin’ edgy.

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?: VOID OUT, BITCH. Uh, I don’t know. 

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?: I did change my name so I am happy with it. 

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?: Uh.. No one. Can that be an option?

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo: The devil smiling one I guess?

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

1. I am in a poly relationship while I am also engaged.

2. I have a knife collection

3.I still used an mp3 instead of using my phone for music

-

95. Cold or hot?: ... Cold because you can get warm with blankets and sweaters while if you are hot, it’s damn impossible to not be hot.

96. Be a hero or be a villain?: Hero in my eyes, but to all of you I’m the villain for some DAMN reason.

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?: Sing I guess. Imagine singing in metal. Holy SHIT

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?: CONTROLLING TIME.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?: Immune to everything. I’m sick of being sick.

====

And there you have it. I’m... fuckin’ DONE. This took literal HOURS, ANON. I hope yall read through this.

[tessatechaitea]

Review of The Twilight Zone, Season 1, Episode 14: "Jody Leaves Her Date to Die"

Amanda Halley of The Ultimate Fashion History YouTube channel helped me better understand fashion with her constant reminder, "Fashion is not an island; it's a response." I'm one of those men who has lived 48 years in t-shirts and jeans (disregarding the few years in late elementary where I wore corduroy pants for some reason. I think that reason was that my mother didn't understand exactly how serious my inability to change my clothing style was and, in a major struggle to get me to not wear jeans to some family function, didn't realize she was constraining me to years of swishing corduroy pants once I accepted the change (I do remember how I got back into jeans though! While playing at my cousins, my corduroy pants zipper ripped (or the button popped?) and they just wouldn't stay up. So my aunt had some old jeans from Peter Martin (the neighbor boy from across the street) and said I could wear those. Of course, I adamantly refused to wear another boy's pants and decided to struggle through holding up my pants for the rest of my life. A little while later, my mother (she was there because it was probably Thanksgiving) came out with some jeans and said they were a pair I had left there previously. So I acquiesced and put them on, only realizing as I was putting them on in the bathroom that they were fucking Peter Martin's jeans and I had been had. But in a burst of maturity and insight into saving face that I can't believe came out of a youthful me, I made the cognitive decision to go along with the sham. And after that, I never wore corduroy pants again and it was jeans all the way down once more (sure, sure. As I got older, I wore a variety of different kinds of pants. But probably 95% jeans)). That was a pretty good digression so let me remind you where we were: I've basically only worn t-shirts and jeans my entire life so Amanda Halley's The Ultimate Fashion History YouTube channel has taught me more about history in a year or so than I knew in the previous 47. And her quote, "Fashion is not an island; it's response," struck a chord with me because, as an English major, it's how I learned to better appreciate poetry. Or, at least, how I learned to better appreciate poetry that I did not like. It's one thing to read William Carlos Williams' "The Red Wheelbarrow" and think, "What the fuck? Stupid. Whatever." It's another to learn about the other artists whom Williams discussed poetry and their theories about what modern poetry should be, and how it should differ from the previous generation. Although I don't know much about that because after reading "The Red Wheelbarrow" and thinking, "What the fuck? Stupid. Whatever," I had no interest in learning more about William Carlos Williams. But even poems that people think they love as a stand-alone experience, like Yeats' "The Second Coming," cannot truly be understood without context and reading multiple essays discussing Yeats' secret language and ritualistic metaphors. Poems, like fashion, are not islands. Every single one is a piece of dialogue in a generational conversation. Good luck ever feeling like you really understand anything after accepting that fact. Which brings me to this episode of The Twilight Zone, "Third from the Sun." While not as unfathomable as T.S. Eliot's "The Waste Land" without understanding the references or contemplating where Vivienne Westwood's punk aesthetic came from without knowledge of previous years and decades of fashion, "Third from the Sun" relies on the viewer understanding the context in which this story was told. Based on a Richard Matheson story (because of course it was), "Third from the Sun" is a modernist response to living in the nuclear age. Obviously we still live with the threat of nuclear war because genies and bottles and idiots and whatnot so the story doesn't need as much context as maybe some of the other The Twilight Zone episodes that haven't aged as well. But the way it's told exemplifies the needed subversive nature of Rod Serling's television program for 1959. It comes with a sort of safety valve that allows a viewer to remain blind to the criticism of the United States. I'm sure what Matheson and Serling do in this story has been done before and since but it struck me as quite clever, and made me realize that possibly the only other example of this cleverness that I can currently recall with my muddled and aged brain is the ending scene of Get Out when the police car pulls up as Chris kneels over the woman who betrayed him and she begins calling for help. Although that scene maybe doesn't have quite the same safety valve. In fact, it refuses the safety valve completely. That scene is all, "See how you felt when that police car pulled up, you white? That's it. That's fucking living in the U.S. as a black man." But it's still sort of the same visceral reaction that the creators are expecting the audience to have at the end of the story. I should probably explain what that reaction is in "Third from the Sun." William Sturka helps build hydrogen bombs. One day after work, he learns that the bombs are going to be launched in 48 hours. The world is essentially over. He can no longer justify his career by pointing out he's just a replaceable cog in a gigantic war machine because that cog has helped bring it all crashing down. Luckily for him and his family, he has an escape plan! Unluckily for his daughter Jody's date and everybody else living on the planet, they don't have an escape plan! But that's okay because this is how stories work. The audience is given the main characters and encouraged to simply care about the main characters because caring about people who haven't even been written is a stupid waste of time. Sure, Jody's date exists but you never have to look at his face so who cares if he blows up or is later torn to pieces by the mutant post-apocalyptic zombie monkeys. This is about the Sturka family and how they will survive another day! The Sturka escape plan is to take an experimental space ship to a planet they've discovered in a nearby galaxy. They've learned that the people on that planet are similar to them and even speak a language quite closely related to theirs. This brings up a lot of other questions that can't be answered in a twenty five minute television show so just shut up. Some other drama takes place with a bad guy who wants to stop them but none of that really matters. Okay, fine, it matters but in a way that I don't want to get into. It matters because it demonstrates wrong-headed loyalty to a dangerous government and obsessive patriotism and cigarette smoking men who just want to see the world burn. But the terrible man trying to stop them is really just an obstacle to be traversed so Sturka and his family have something to do for twenty minutes, aside from discussing their plans of stealing a government aircraft while playing Bridge or Pinochle or whatever stupid card game for couples they played in the 50s. The main theme is that Sturka and his family are living in a world teetering on the edge of nuclear Armageddon and they're desperate to escape to safety. At the end of the episode, as they escape in their space ship, William and his friend discuss their destination. William learns the planet they're headed to is the third from its star and that it's called Earth. I think this is where I'd insert a gif of universe brain if I was that kind of Internet writer. I am not. Although since I'm more of a 'zine writer, I should at least be doing my own art for these reviews. Fuck. Now that I've thought of it, I've just made more work for myself for future reviews. Also, I think I'm going to turn these into physical 'zines. So that's the twisty bit going on in this episode! The entire time, the audience is thinking this is a tale of Earth because, well, we're living in the shadow of complete and utter annihilation brought on by the whims of our leaders. So the big surprise is that this was a different planet entirely! But the part that I think is clever and subversive and based in the context and dialogue of the time is that it relies on the audience to understand it and make the mental leap of logic for one final gasp of awareness. They aren't going somewhere safe! They're headed right back into the same on-the-brink-of-disaster world they just left. Which is why it reminds me of the final scene of Get Out which relies on the audience's pre-conceived notions of police and violence against black men. I suppose in 1959, you couldn't watch this episode of The Twilight Zone and not gasp at the realization that this poor family hasn't actually rescued itself. They're still in danger because our world has become that dangerous place. We believed they were fleeing Earth because Earth has gotten as frightening as the world in this episode and Matheson and Serling double down by saying, "Ha ha! Nope. They're going to Earth!" Perhaps there's a bit of hope in the story in that we still have more time than 48 hours. But I don't think that's the point. And much like Get Out, even people who pooh-pooh Black Lives Matter protests, must have had a visceral reaction to the police car pulling up while the protagonist knelt above the bloody body of his fiance and tormentor. It's a scene that forces a person acknowledge, by their own reaction and assumption about what's going to happen, that, even if they will vocally deny that police violence against black men is an epidemic, they understand the truth of it. I can't imagine a person exists who could watch that scene and not immediately understand that Chris's life has gone from one dangerous experience to another serious threat to his life. Just another scene that relies on the context of the time, and dialogue across decades. None of this shit is an island. Like the jeans I've worn my entire life, it's simply responses all the way down. Final Thought: I apologize for taking this review in two directions at once without properly knitting them together (the whole "it's a response thing" and the comparison to Get Out) but one came to mind as I was enmeshed in the other and, in the end, I don't have an editor and I'm not being paid for this. So if it's all poorly knitted together, I can only hope that you view it from the appropriate distance to hide its serious flaws. Thank you!

[gay-jesus-probably]

I don’t get why people have started complaining about likes being an insult, and interpreting it as meaning ‘i enjoyed this but wont share it cause fuck you’. I’ve sure as hell never met anyone who uses likes for that. There’s been plenty of times where I’ve liked a post of someones art/writing/music/whatever and not reblogged it, and while I understand being frustrated by a lack of reblogs, seriously, you gotta stop assuming every single person uses the like feature the same way. I’ve actually seen some people saying that the like feature should be removed, so that people are forced to reblog artists instead of just liking, which is completely ridiculous to me cause buddy. my guy. my dude. If I liked your post and didn’t reblog it straight away, then there was never any chance of me hitting reblog to begin with.

Occasionally it just means that I enjoyed the post but it’s the sort of thing I don’t want to publicly admit to enjoying, because tumblr is a cruel mistress and my anxiety acts up sometimes. But 95% of the time if I liked your art/video/writing and didn’t reblog it, that means I haven’t actually seen it yet. It’s because I enjoyed the first two paragraphs of this fic but I’ve got to run for the bus right now, so I’ll read the rest of it once I’ve got the time. It’s because the tags and description on this picture sound interesting but tumblr mobile refuses to load it, so I’ll just wait until I get to my laptop. It’s because I’m curious about this video but I don’t have my earbuds on me, so I’ll watch it when I’ve got audio.

So no, I’m not going to reblog those posts yet, because I have no idea if I actually want them on my blog. That fic might go in a direction I don’t like, or that picture will turn out to be fanart for something I have zero interest in, or the video’s sound wasn’t at all what I was expecting. Again, tumblr is a cruel mistress and I have anxiety; I’m not putting something on my blog unless I know for sure that I want it there. Once I actually know what’s in a post I’ve liked, I’ll reblog it and remove the like if I enjoyed it, leave it as is if I enjoyed it but don’t feel comfortable sharing it, or just remove the like if it turned out to be not my thing. And because my brain is an ADHD hellpit, it can take weeks or months for me to get around to looking at a post I’ve liked. But there’s at least a chance I’ll be sharing it eventually, which is considerably more than you’d get if I didn’t have the option to like a post.

I get being frustrated about a small audience, and bothered that the people that enjoy your work aren’t sharing it with other people. But seriously, grow a thicker skin. There’s a reason I’ve only seen artists complaining about this, and it’s because us writers have long since realized that’s just how the internet is. Yeah, the best kinds of positive feedback are the rarest, but that’s life. If you interpret the low effort positive responses as being an insult, then you’ll never. People aren’t refusing to reblog your art out of spite or hatred, they’re clicking like because they liked your goddamn art.

[basement-critics]

I Protected My Kids & Followed My Neighbor's Advice

Hey there, so people have it in their heads I am the epitome of evil, I lie, according to them, constantly. It's a bit frustrating, um, but that's how the internet works. I literally saw someone say

“Your neighbor didn't tell you to use a bulldozer, a small tiny tractor thing. Your neighbor didn't tell you to do that”

Yes he did, so there is this thing in 1995 that was passed, as I learned, um that basically restricts what you can do with your yard. And a lot of people laughed at me for saying that I did yard work, but I did yard work, like this is what's weird about the internet right. They know everything, you know nothing when it comes to your life. It's crazy how the internet works, but that's how it works.

So I have a yard, right, and there were a ton of blackberry bushes, nettles and devil's club, okay. And I didn't remove all of them, but I removed a lot of them. Alright, in my yard, like people were saying they were laughing out loud when I said I did yard work, and it's like I don't understand why you guys think you know more than me about my own yard. Like obviously I know a lot of rules now, rules I wasn't aware of before.

In 95 they passed this thing that basically says you can't do yard work. Can you believe that? Not allowed to do yard work in your own yard, without a number of permits and so forth. I had no idea. Um, so I cleared out a bunch of blackberry bushes and I cleared out a bunch of devil's club, I cleared out a bunch of nettles. Those are all things that can hurt children, I have children.

So I was making my yard much much more safe for my kids. And that's what the internet is currently, I saw someone literally say “you are a pile of dog shit” to me, for clearing out thorns and nettles.

I don't get it guys, I'm really struggling here to understand where you are coming from. Listen it's a good thing to protect the environment and so forth, it really is. But, if you put it to a vote and you ask people “would you like to protect the environment” most everyone would say yes, I would say yes. I would like to protect the environment, but if you put it to a vote “would you like to be able to do whatever you like with your own property when you buy it because it's yours?” Most everyone would say yes, I'm mean with in like “don't hurt people, or selling drugs.” but like…. There's like this thing where you can't even make a garden, where you grow tomatoes or anything like that, in some areas. It's like you aren't even allowed to do that. You could get fined for that. And that's what it's come to.

So, I know this is a learning lesson for a lot of people and I think that's a great thing. But when my neighbor, he moved to Montana since he was here I have a new neighbor he's very nice as well, but it neighbor said that when he first got to, and this is the guy right next to me, when he first got to the property he bulldozed everything. And he said, um that's why his yard looks the way it does now, and he's like “you should do that too.” So uh, I took his advice.

I didn't bulldoze everything, I didn't do anything nearly as dramatic as he did. Because he has a massive yard, it's gigantic so he must have had to bulldoze a ton of junk. But the internet would characterize, if they were being you know proportionate to myself and him, they would characterize him as a pile of dog shit according to the internet.

I wish people would calm down, you know. Like how do you think your house's came to be, how do you think anything came to be. Like a lot of you eat meat, you fund people to slaughter animals in the masses, trillions of animals die, because of people like you. And you know I could characterize you as a monster because these things actually scream and suffer etc. These are animals that have emotions just like you. But I'm not sitting here doing that, I did that a long time ago and maybe you guys are in a place where you're not grown up, where you can't be an adult, and you can't handle things civilly. But I can, I've grown up.

So I'm just asking you guys to be rational, be honest, and like seriously if you haven't been there, if you aren't living someone's life, maybe you should think about it from a more reasonable perspective. You know, like, I've tried to be reasonable a lot of the people I've talked about. And the people I've talked about have typically done something that is very difficult to to swallow, like victimized human beings, or have victimized themselves to such a degree that it risks death. You know, like really serious things.

But this is yard work, and I know that makes you laugh, but I have a yard, and I worked on it. It's yard work.

MoThat's the thing, I don't know how else to get through to you. That's a thing I did, I worked on my yarn I cleared out things that could hurt my children. And the fact that I'm getting so heavily demonized, after my literal neighbor told me to, after my housing community told me to cut down any trees that could pose a risk. I got permission you know, to do these things by the housing committee, they even told me, the housing committee told me to maintain my lawn. They say make sure you keep your lawn nice, clean etc.

So we got the housing committee, we got my neighbor, we got people all around me except for the neighbor over there *points*. She was, she was different. She was like talking about buying a property with me across the way that wasn't even for sale, she was a little weird. She was like “we should buy that together” I'm like okay maybe, no no it's not, it's not for sale. It's attached to a house down the street so it doesn't make any sense. Anyway, but she was very aggressive and strange.

But anyway, I took advice and I didn't do research. And I didn't check the updated information etc. But um, as far as court cases go I uh, you can't lose a court case if there was no court case. I don't get that, why people say that. When you, for like for instance, let me play out a scenario for you guys so you understand this. Because a lot of you are obsessed with this idea that I'm just the most fraudulent person ever and that's because they are add to this idea, a world where I'm not that person doesn't make sense to them and it's sad because their not living in the real world you know.

I was thinking about this at the Christmas party the other day, I was like, what people all talk to each other like this, we were all just civil and kind to each other. What if? You wouldn't go viral that's for sure. People love hate online, they don't really love videos that are rational and talk to you like a normal human being. But um, I don't know I was going to say something but I forgot.

Point is if you want to continue to call me these horrible names I really hope your life gets better. Because nobody who is being this negative is happy, you may not feel it at first, like people used to say that to me like, “you're being aggressive because something is wrong in your life” and I'm like “I'm perfectly fine, I'm happy” no I wasn't, I wasn't happy. Because happy is something you feel when you let go of a lot of this insanity. When you start to realize we're all human beings we're not, we're not special and we just co exist and then we die. So to have a delusion of grandeur or to dress it up as something else, like all hate comments are is just a bunch of people saying they are better than you and that kind of seems sad. It's sad that we are so desperate to act like we are better than everyone else. I've been doing it for a long time, and I need to do a lot of growing myself. Unless it's comedy, comedy is the total expectation. If you're going to be funny be funny, say whatever jokes you want I won't be a jerk about it. Unless targeting children then I'll be really mad.

Which I myself have made jokes about kids in the past, I need to grow up I know. Anyway so yeah, I kind of just wanted to talk this out with you guys because a lot of you aren't being human to me. A lot you aren't being real with me, you're just going with the idea there's this character online that's uh doing the things your favorite YouTuber said he'd do. And that favorite YouTuber, I hate to break it to you, but he's getting paid to say what he's saying. They all are, they are all making money off this. I don't think a lot of people would um crap on someone else unless they were being paid. Me, I'm paid terribly.

People bring up a huge YouTuber I made a documentary on, I got paid terribly for that. So obviously I'm not, it has hurt my career tremendously, it does not help me. I am hated and every single time I make a video on that I get ripped apart, so that's how you know it's not incentivised. And as far as people starving themselves and so forth that's because I care, I really do want them to get better. But I also want to tell jokes, it's it a very complicated thing.

Anyway thank you listening and thank you for being rational and hearing me out.

Um one last request, you see documents right, and um you think those documents are representative of past events in the sense that you know someone says “Hey I'll meet you on Tuesday” in a text you know. So you are like “Oh they hung out on Tuesday”, that's not necessarily what happened. Sometimes things get canceled or thrown out or otherwise adjusted, you know. And um, so the documents they aren't representative of, I'm talking about yard work documents I'm saying yard work because it was work on my yard. I don't know why people don't get that. But sometimes plans don't follow through, and people come to agreements. So um, I don't know is that a settlement, because there was no money, I don't know if that's a settlement. Typically settlements have money like “I'll pay you x amount of dollars” but really it's just to make sure everything is okay. You know, we'll have someone come check it out so it's okay. That's what we'll do, so um, and if it's not okay we'll be alright. But I'm pretty sure it's perfectly great. I don't know.

Long story short though, we are trying to make the best of it and uh, financially we're already crazy so uh hopefully it's not too expensive. Because uh they'd like to put a plant here and there, because uh, I don't want to replant blackberry bushes if that's what they want. I don't want to put hazards for children in the yard, hopefully we can be reasonable.

Anyway, thank you guys so much for watching thank you for supporting me in protecting children and you know, I really hope we vote more reasonable, honest and transparent in the future because if you ask people you know “Do you wanna legalize, uh um, uh brain freeze. Do you wanna make it so brain freeze doesn't exist anymore?” Everyone is gonna say yes, but if you ask “Do you wanna ilegalize ice cream?” nobody is gonna vote yes for that. You have to tell both sides of the story when making laws. Cause everyone has the right to take care of own stuff. Everyone should have the right to look at the stuff they own and say “oh hey this is a hazard for children”

The internet hates me, say I'm a monster, I'm a murder, a literal murder right now because of clearing out these harmful plants. Whatever.

Alright so I'm not gonna convince a lot of you I get it, and that's fine. But I do want to have my say, my voice heard, and I've had it. So if you hate me fine, that's fine. But I hope you cheer up, because it is the holidays and I think it's really weird I got all this thrown on me around the holidays. Have a wonderful holiday guys, no matter who you are. Even to the person who made this video which is a big lie. I hope you  guys have a great holiday. Merry uh holidays to you. Kwanzaa is today I think, Merry Kwanzaa. Bye guys.

[weallneedsomethingtobelievein]

1. do you have a favourite sweater? yes a few, but my favorite one right now is my rainbow striped one I got from target

2. what’s your middle name? I don't have one

3. do you still talk to the first person you kissed? I do actually

4. do you get on with your grandpa? both my grandfathers are dead but when they were alive we got along fine

5.what was your favourite cartoon as a kid? oh my god I really have no idea

6. what’s your favourite cartoon now? I don’t watch cartoons now

7. do you read the news paper? nah

8. who was the last text you sent to ? it was to you (:

9. what does the last text you sent say? you know what it said lol

10. if you could have any hair colour what would it be? it would be the blue that halsey used to wear. or the orange/pink split Hayley Williams had

11. do you like nature documentaries? not at all

12. what is your aesthetic? im still figuring that out tbh

13. when did you last pet a dog? I don't know and now im sad af

14. whose friend’s parents do you like the most? the ones that feed me (: 

15. have you ever been on a road trip? no, ive always wanted to though

16. tell me about someone you know called emma I don't know anyone named emma lol

17. are you reading a book in english class, what is it? we’re just gonna skip this one

18. do you have a favourite aunt? that’s a negative

19. baths or showers? I take showers 99% of the time and it’s been years since I took a bath

20. skiing or sun bathing? who makes up these questions???? ive never skiied

21. do you kill spiders? yeah, fuck that shit

22. have you ever made an ice pop? ummm I think so

23. are you wearing shoes right now? no ma’am

24. tell me about you favourite primary school/elementary school teacher I don’t have one of those either

25. who was the last person you hugged? it was my brother

26. do you wear glasses? yuhh

27. do you have a cat? nope & im allergic to them too

29. do you have a favourite pair of underwear? LOL I do actually

30. what was your last tweet? my last original tweet (aka not a retweet) was something about me wishing popcorn didn’t have kernels

31. do you still use facebook? yes, I do

32. do you like birds? no I fucking hate them actually. they terrify me

33. who was the last person you called cute? again, it was probably my brother

34. who was the last person that called you cute? UMMMM I can’t recall

35. how did you meet your best friend? I don't really have a “best” friend. I have good friends but not a best friend

36. escalators or elevators? escaltors

37. are you named after anyone, who? i’m not. my mom made it a point not to name her kids after anyone

38. what was your first url?

I've never changed it, this has always been my url

39. autumn or winter?

autumn 100%

40. do you win at scrabble?

no :(

41. put your ipod on shuffle , who is the first song that comes up by? I put my June playlist on shuffle and it was Unholy by Miley Cyrus

42. have you ever drunk from a mason jar? yeah, cause Outback puts their drinks in them for whatever reason

43. can you draw? I wish I could

44. what was your first profile picture? on facebook it was a picture of me from my sweet 16.

45. favourite tshirt? really anything that’s comfortable

46. best tumblr friend? do you count?

47. when did you last run? I don’t run lolololol

48. do you like to paint your nails? I don’t like doing it myself but I like getting them done

49. did you ever do something as a kid that got you into loads of trouble? yup I have

50. who is your favourite dog that isn’t yours? I think I have to go with Millie (even though I haven't met her) and my friend ruth has a Shiba Inu named Lucky

51. have you ever been drunk? yeah

52. have you ever done something you regret while drunk? I don't think I have

53. do you want to kiss anyone right now? I do, I dooooo

54. do/did you like you math teacher? skipping this one too

55. do you often ride the bus? yes ma’am

56. do you have a fireplace in your house? we used to have one but then my mom wanted to get rid of it, so not anymore

57. are you violent when you’re angry? no. it helps throwing things though

58. do you cry when you’re angry? ohhhhhhh yes

59. favourite Harry potter book? can I say all of them?

60. can you remember your last dream? I don’t remember a lot of my dreams

61. do you go to bed early or late? late unfortunately

62. do you speak a second language? I used to speak Italian but I don’t anymore

63. who was your first ever best friend? who the fuck even knows

64. have you ever had an operation? ive had a procedure but not an operation

65. tell me about your favourite cousin. who has a favorite cousin

66. do you have a piece of clothing that doesn’t even fit you anymore but you can’t bare to throw away? yes

67. have you ever been in a musical? I have not

68. do you have a porch? nope

69. how many times have you watched your favourite movie? im not really good at picking favorite things

70. what do you order at mcdonalds? I try not to eat at mcdonalds, but on the off chance I do, its chicken nuggets and fries

71. do you get on with old people? I get along fine. I have met some rude and weird old people though

72. science fiction or romance? why not both

73. do you take naps? naps are my life

74. how many classes do you/did you take in high-school? high school was 4 years and I probably took 6 or so a year so you can do the math

75. when did it last snow where you live? I wanna say maybe march or april

76. does it ever snow where you live? yes it does

77. how many months until your birthday? 8 months

78. how much charge does your computer have right now? 83%

79. what is your favourite disney channel movie? I LOVED the Halloweentown movies and Zenon. I miss DCOMs

80. the city or the sea side? it really depends on my mood. I like being by the water

81. what is your least favourite colour? it would probably be brown

82. do you have homework to do? yeah sure tons

83. are you still friends with your first best friend? I have no idea who that was

84. do you have/are you the gay cousin? I AM the gay cousin. they just don't know it yet

85. do you own dungarees? jeans? yes

86.do you like to play sport? I don't

87. what was your favourite ever christmas present? maybe my laptop? I mostly like giving gifts and watching people be happy

88. how old are you? 26 

89. what is your mum’s name? Maria

90. do you ever use internet explorer? no lmao

91. have you ever had blonde hair? ive had blonde IN my hair, but never my whole head

92. is their a play park near your house? staten island is the borough of parks, so yeah

93. when did you last see the person you have a crush on? 🤷🏻‍♀️

94. who did you last talk to on the phone? the employee at the sushi place I ordered dinner from lol

95. pants or dresses? pants 95% of the time. I have to be in the mood to wear a dress

96. do you read fan fiction? nah

97. what is you’re favourite blog? can I say yours? I don't sit and think about which is my favorite because, like I said, im bad at picking favorites

98. do you write poetry? nope

99. drama or comedy? both. I like to laugh though

100. have you ever had a hickey? yeah I have