#like seriously his intro was so vague compared to everyone else

[sea-buns]

gotta love me a character whose post-timeskip synopsis is just More Anxious

[jacks-jester]

Dead Poet [Intro]

[Charlie Dalton x Reader]

Requested: No

Words: 1,830

A/N This is a new series I may potentially make. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and I absolutely adore the character of Charlie. I’m trying to do passion projects to keep me motivated so I can get back into writing. I hate this is as short as it is, but to be fair its an intro. I’d like to continue this and make it a short series with a few installments, but who knows, maybe it will happen maybe it won’t. Anyways, this is unedited so apologies for any grammar mistakes.

You could feel the cool evening breeze sink into your bones, your arms instinctively wrapping the large overcoat you wore tighter over your shoulders. You were weaving your way in between numerous trees in the woods near Welton Academy, your friend Neil leading the way. You weren’t entirely sure where you were going, only getting vague descriptions from Neil- who insisted the night was going to be the “most fun you’ve ever had”. 

You had met Neil at the local auditions for Midsummer Nights Dream, the two of you immediately hitting it off and rehearsing with together in the audition waiting room. You had been overjoyed when you found out he was cast as Puck, and you were cast as Titania. The two of you had quickly become close friends throughout rehearsals, Neil becoming your best friend in no time as the two of you bonded over your mutual passion for acting. It was a few weeks into Midsummer rehearsals when Neil had casually brought up the Dead Poets Society, you had heard about the boys before but he had never brought up this secret ‘society’ before. It wasn’t long after he had invited you to attend the meetings, insisting that you would love it and would get along great with his friends from Welton.

You were in no reason to turn him down, so you agreed. That is how you ended up where you were now- in the middle of the pitch black mangrove of trees, rushing behind Neil, with only a single flashlight to lead the way to your secret destination. You could feel the nerves rise within you, boiling upwards from your stomach into your throat as you saw the opening of a cave in the distant glow of Neil’s  flashlight. You could hear the faint chatter and laughter of boys reverberating out of the cave and into the crisp winter air, smoke rising into the sky out of what appeared to be a crevice in the caves roof. Soon enough you and Neil were both climbing down into the cave opening, greeted by the laughter and smiles from three teenage boys. They all welcomed Neil warmly, clearly seeing him as a leader of sort, though they froze up the moment you came into their line of view.

Neil let out a small laugh as he noticed the way Cameron's mouth seemed to drop open once he caught sight of you. You could feel yourself growing self conscious as all the attention now seemed focused on you, you hadn’t dressed up, seeing as Neil told you it was an easy going and relaxed meeting. You had worn a simple pair of black cigarette pants, a brown belts, black Maryjane's, a Ridgeway High School sweater, and had your hair down the way you usually did. Neil let out a small cough getting the boys attention before speaking up, “This is y/n l/n, a friend of mine from the theater, she’s playing the fairy queen." 

“Nice to meet you all, I’ve heard a lot about you from Neil. So this is the famous Dead Poets Society?”

Neil opened his arms wide as if to show off the small cave with a wide grin on his boyish features, “The one and only. Now take a seat, that’s Cameron, Meeks, Pitts, and Todd. Lets get this meeting under way gentlemen.” All the boys visibly relaxed, going about their usual routine as they all got comfortable, Meeks sitting to your right and Todd to your left. You watched as Neil pulled an old book out, opening instinctively to the title page to read whatever was written aloud, the other boys chanting it with him.

“ I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately... I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life! To put to rout all that was not life...”

They were all cut off as rustling and giggles began sounding from the entrance of the cave, everyone glancing over as three figure entered one by one. You figured it must be one of the missing members, though you were shocked to see two other girls entering the cave alongside him. You couldn’t help the breathy laugh that escaped you lips as you heard Cameron who was sitting across from you, “Oh my god.”

The girls stood awkwardly next to the boy who had entered alongside them, a black beret sitting atop his head as a large grin was plastered to his face. After some readjusting everyone began getting settled in once more, the girls sitting down delicately, though their posture was slightly uncomfortable. You figured maybe sitting in a damp cave while it was freezing outside wasn’t the way they had hoped to spend their evening.

You watched closely as Charlies voice rang throughout the small cave, “Guys, I have an announcement to make. In keeping with the spirit of passionate experimentation of the Dead Poets, I’m giving up the name Charlie Dalton. From now on, call me Nuwanda.” You had to hold back a laugh as several of the poet society members let their own chuckles escape at the name, Neil's face even morphing into one of confusion and amusement. 

“We gonna have a meeting or what?”

Your eyes flicked over to Gloria as she spoke up, “Yeah. If you guys don’t have a meeting, how do we know if we wanna join?”

“Join?” Neil's eyes flicked to you for a moment before returning to the book, flipping through the book to find a poem, only to be cut off by Charlie- or rather Nuwanda. “Shall I compare thee to a summers day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.”

“That's so sweet.”

“I made it up just for you.”

“You did?”

I let out a small chuckle of disbelief at the cluelessness of the blonde bimbo sitting near me. It was clear she had no idea who Shakespeare was, and definitely didn’t know his works- despite that recitation being from one of his most famous works. You watched amused as Gloria turned expectantly to Charlie, who was more than happy to woo her as well.

“I’ll write one for you too, Gloria. She walks in beauty like the night...” He paused for a moment, feigning though as though he truly was making it up on the spot. “She walks in beauty like the night. Of cloudless slimes and starry skies. All that’s best, dark and bright, meet in her aspect and her eyes.” Her eyes widened as she let out a breath of flattery, “That’s beautiful.” You watched as Nuwanda’s grin grew wider, looking to the boys in a knowing manner before glancing back at Gloria. His eyes flitted across the cave for a moment, his eyes meeting your for what felt like forever but you knew was most likely only a fleeting second. His honey eyes were penetrating and passionate, holding your attention effortlessly, and more a moment you understood what caused the girls to believe every word he said without doubt.

You were only snapped out of your thought when he spoke up, “How about beautiful? Would you allow me the pleasure of coming up with a poem for you, a lot of things are coming to mind.” I was caught off guard for a moment before letting a coy smile play across my lips. “That depends, are they going to be original works? Because I’ve already read Lord Byron and Shakespeare, beautiful but not your words.” You watched as the two girls eyes flicked to you, annoyance coming across their faces, Tina speaking up. “I would recognize Shakespeare if I heard it, those words were meant for me. Nuwanda’s a poet, why else would he be in a poet society?” You watched a amused grin flicked across Charlies lips as his eyes remained on your figure. You let out a sigh and shrugged, “Suppose I was mistaken, I’m sure Nuwanda spoke from his heart.” That seemed to relieve the girls annoyances, though you sent a playful wink towards Charlie afterwards which he quickly reciprocated.

You couldn’t explain quite what it was about Charlie that caused him to be so devastatingly attractive, but whatever it was, it was drawing you in more than you cared to admit. Your eyes left Charlie and instead glanced at Neil who only chuckled and sent you a knowing smile. Neil had told you in the past about Charlie, always saying that he felt out of all of his friends, you and him would get along the best. Which you weren’t going to deny- Neil was spot on. Even with the other girls there, it seemed you and Charlie got on the most, sharing laughs as the meeting went on- the two of you having instant chemistry.

The night when on as you supposed their normal meetings would, smoking a few cigarettes, snacking on the pile of food the boys brought from the mess hall, drinking some alcohol, and reciting new and old poetry. Overall it was a fun and relaxed evening- a nice break from the seriousness of school and the long rehearsals for Midsummer. The night ended however with a bit of drama- Charlie revealing that he had published a article in the Welton Academy school paper in the name of the Dead Poets in order to protest that girls should be allowed to attend. 

This didn’t go over well with the other members- most notably Cameron who seemed exceedingly paranoid about getting found out as being involved. The issue was resolved as Nuwanda stated they would take the full blame if things got too heated and administration was looking for the Society. After the meeting concluded, the girls left together, Charlie and the other boys putting out the fire and cleaning up the mess within the cave. 

You watched in confusion as Neil stood up atop one of the rocks in the cave, his head nearly touching the highest part of the ceiling. “I want to nominate a new member of the Dead Poets Society, y/n l/n.” All the boys eyes flicked from Neil, to you, then back to Neil. “All members in agreement say aye, anyone in disagreement raise your hand.” Unanimously all the boys said aye, Charlies eyes catching yours, Neil flashing you a grin as you stood in shock. Neil cleared his throat to regain your attention, “Well y/n, everyone's in agreement except you. Wanna be a Dead Poet?”

Your eyes scanned the boys faces, all of which were grinning brightly at you, your eyes landing on Charlies. He nodded softly at you, a smirk on his lips as he urged you to accept the offer. You could feel a small smile appear on your lips as your eyes returned to Neil who was grinning hopefully at you.

“I accept.”

Charlies voice piped up, “Welcome to the DPS.”

You let out a small laugh at this and reconnected you e/c eyes with his deep brown ones, “Thanks Nuwanda.”

[deltaengineering]

Summer Anime 2019 Part 1: no more intros

Araburu Kisetsu no Otome-domo yo. / O Maidens in your Savage Season

❓ There’s an outbreak of puberty in a high school literature club and things get really awkward really fast.

✅✅ This doesn’t pull any punches with the horny content and it’s hilarious.

✅ I like the characters as well, they seem to have a bit more to them than normal but they’re still likeable.

✅ Nice looking and well directed.

♎ Mari Okada’s trademark blunt writing is still there, though it works better here than it usually does. She really has gotten a lot better since she started writing more personal stuff instead of just vague supernatural seishun feels.

 Dr. Stone

❓ A mysterious disaster turns everyone on earth into stone. Several millennia later some shounen characters are the first ones to awake and they do some caveman chemistry.

✅  The idea is pretty novel by Weekly Shounen Jump standards.

♎ I have to say that for a WSJ joint, the writing is fairly tolerable as well. It’s still dumb, but not insultingly so.

❌ But in the end, it’s still WSJ and you’re still just watching a bunch of terrible looking meatheads doing basic science on the level of a YouTube primer and shouting about how awesome that is using assorted catchphrases.

❌ And it’s on the same day as another shounen-ass shounen, to which it is inferior. More on that later.

Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru / How Heavy are the Dumbbells you Lift?

❓ Doga Kobo x bodybuilding

♎ This is possibly the least surprising anime of the season, because all you need to know is what the Japanese bodybuilding meme is and what Doga Kobo usually does. Well, there’s no loli this time at least.

✅ Not surprising + Doga Kobo = looks good

♎ It’s not exceedingly funny but it’s competent enough at comedic timing.But some one-note jokes (such as Akemi being thirsty for muscle) get old.

✅ Doesn’t rock my socks off but it’s alright for the time being. Pretty competent and with room for improvement with more characters.

Enen no Shouboutai / Fire Force

❓ A boy with a hero complex becomes a firefighter. Since this is a shounen universe by the author of Soul Eater, this is rather literal: Get ready to punch fire demons.

✅ You ready for some DUMB ANIME SHIT? Because this is a lot of that, in a good way. In particular is gets the tone right and is neither too clowny nor too grim. Mostly.

✅✅ Looks amazing. The production is top notch and the fire is especially impressive - it better be, because there’s a lot of it. The design is also good.

❌ Shounen writing rears its ugly head again. I don’t expect subtlety, but a dozen flashbacks to Shinra’s not-very-complicated backstory plus his incessant insistence on being A HERO are not a good sign at all. At least this time the blah is limited to the thematic core instead of everything.

✅ I was entertained for now, but I’ll have to see if the good production values can keep it up and make up for the simplistic core in the long run.

Granbelm

❓ Average girl becomes magical, summons a mecha and gets involved in a magical mecha fighting ring.

✅ This looks pretty neat, seeing as it is made by the Re:Zero team.

✅ Since it’s an original, there is much less LN jank in the writing though.

♎ Still feels mostly like a mashup of very generic anime tropes - reminiscent of Mai-Hime, of all things. It might go somewhere, but might just as easily not.

♎ In particular, it might start copying Re:Zero’s derpier aspects. It already has a fondness for the ragefaces.

✅ Since it’s not in fact isekai, it is allowed to throw shade on isekai.

Joshikousei no Mudazukai / Wasteful Days of Highschool Girls

❓ Some highschool girls chat about boys and whatnot.

♎ There really isn’t much to say about it, to be honest. The characters are okay but very archetypal, it looks average, and the humor is neither amusing nor particularly annoying. It seems to have a severe lack of personality - especially compared to Maidens, which is this show with the safety off.

❌ It is, however, just far too long. These kind of mild 4koma antics wear out their welcome at full length and without anything else it becomes tedious. All the segments feel disjointed and random anyway, so there’s really no upside to yawning through 24 minutes of it.

Kanata no Astra / Astra Lost in Space

❓ Several anime characters get lost during summer camp on a distant planet and have to find their way home in an FTL spaceship they stumble across.

♎ Speaking of archetypal characters - you couldn’t put together a more anime cast together if you were making a parody. You got your spiky-haired protagonist, dim genki girl, big boobed shy fujoshi, sparkling ikemen, brooding rival, androgynous twink, glasses wearing supergenius, a tsundere and a loli. They work very hard to establish this too.

✅ Apart from this ridiculous assortment of memes, Astra leaves a solid impression. The scifi universe isn’t completely nonsensical, and the concept has potential.

✅ It’s well put together too, with good direction and high production values.

❌ The only real negative is that Astra can’t shut up about its protagonist’s backstory. There were about as many repetitive flashbacks in this episode as in the first episode of Fire Force, and it’s only not as bad because Astra’s was double length. If this remains persistent, it may be more annoying than it’s worth.

Katsute Kami Datta Kemono-tachi e / to the Abandoned Sacred Beasts

❓ In a grimderp version of the American Civil War, nobody stops to think that turning people into murderous animal hybrids might not be a good idea and might leave some grudges after the war is over.

♎ Looks average at best. If it’s trying to be Fullmetal Alchemist, I have some bad news for everyone involved.

❌ This definitely can’t be taken seriously, because it’s so contrived and on top of it the tone is all over the place. It can turn from graphic massacres to funny hijinks to inhumane experiments on a dime. To work as intended, it would need a far more delicate hand on all levels.

♎ That said, by the end of it, when there’s a pileup of tragic betrayals and one CAIN MADHOUSE turns out to be a moustache-twirling villain with a cackle to match, it comes close to being the entertaining kind of schlock.

♎ Since this was only the setup, it might be worth it to find out what the actual plot is like going forward.

The Case Files of Lord El-Melloi II: Rail Zeppelin ~grace note~

❓After getting punked in the fourth Heaven’s Feel, Waver decides he wants to try his luck in the viper’s nest that is the Clock Tower (if you did not understand any of that, this show is not for you)

✅ Fate has the moneybags and moneybags make shit look good

❌ I would like to watch a dark comedy about the backstabbing and incompetence at the Clock Tower - The Death of Kayneth, if you will. However, there are only the mildest traces of this in Case Files and it takes itself far too seriously.

❌ Since I bounced off this show the second time now (there was an episode 00 a few months ago) I don’t know if I want to give this show even more chances to prove to me it’s not heartachingly dull. It’s not really funny and there’s barely any action.

♎ That leaves character drama. I do like Waver but not enough to watch him mope about his bro Iskander being dead all day. The rest of the characters are a mixed bag and evidently not good enough to keep the show going on their own.

Maou-sama, Retry!

❓ 💩

💩💩 100% of all the isekai shit and nothing else. This is highly derivative and amateur even by the standards of highly derivative amateur isekai LNs.

💩💩 Looks like absolute garbage even at ep 1. I should be happy that no talent is going to waste here.

💩 The least offensive aspect is that our MMO-reborn haxlord picks up a tiny Ramrem for casual dadfeels. It still sucks and there’s another show this season that does this better.

Sounan desu ka / Are You Lost?

❓ Comedy short about girls stranded on a remote island learning basic survival skills.

❌ One girl is hypercompetent at survival, the others are not. Hope you think this is comedy gold cos it’s all we got.

❌ show bad

Tejina-senpai / Magical Sempai

❓ Girl with breasts is an enthusiastic amateur magician and is so bad at it that every attempt ends in some compromising position.

❌ We can only afford one joke per comedy short, okay? Do you think we’re made of money and/or talent?

❌ This one is quick on the draw with the segments at least, and crams in 6 instead of the usual 2-3. So it’s theoretically less tedious, but in practice it’s all a blur of unfunny either way.

❌ show bad

Uchi no Ko no Tame naraba, Ore wa Moshikashitara Maou mo Taoseru kamo Shirenai. / If It's For My Daughter, I'd Even Defeat A Demon Lord

❓ Handsome young adventurer finds an orphaned devil child in the forest. Dadfeels ensue.

✅ So this is the one that does Maou Retry’s core aspect better. And it does it quite well, in fact; it’s cute and wholesome.

✅ Basically it’s Sweetness and Lighting with JRPG questing instead of cooking. That show was alright.

❌ However, to make up for being good at something, know that it has absolutely nothing else. The setting is off-brand JRPG mush and not even attempting otherwise, the production values are pedestrian.

♎ Apparently this turns into a fantasy version of Usagi Drop down the line. I’m not one to mark it down for that now, but that doesn’t sound too great. However, it’s questionable if 1. the anime gets there 2. the anime goes there and 3. I watch the anime enough for the problem to even arise. It’s not that good.

[vacantbloodbones]

The Disappointing Crimes of JKR

so it’s 2 am and I have a fight to finally get home (i’ve been MIA for a while because I needed a vacation tbh) THIS IS A LOOOONG ONE, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED! but on one of my flights I finally got to watch FB2 and it’s taken me a while to gather my thoughts. Like, I knew the disappointing confusion I was signing up for... I had seen SO many YT reviews on the film and from HP fans to just FB1 fans had gathered their opinions... and it was all negative...  So I had my apprehension going into watching this (thank fuck it was free) and I’ve got a lot of my own opinions to say... So if you are aware of myself, you know that I actually loved FB1 and how the flow and characters went. Genuinely, I think as a stand alone film it was actually a good, comprehensive piece of story and film; you had exposition, build up, character development, tension, climax and fallout/outro/conclusion...  So, what went OH SO WRONG in FB2, in my humble-ass opinion?  Well, lets get into this adventure with me, pals... stick with me as I rant my good ol’ heart out, grab some snacks, a drink, maybe some liquor of choice (in my case).  In the beginning, there was... well, absolute confusion??? For an entrance into a film, especially a franchise that has a previous film, I firmly believe there needs to be SOMETHING that explains and ties the previous entry to the latest one... Especially since this series hinges on a handful of characters (Newt, Tina, Credence, Grindelwald, and Queenie + Jacob) and to just throw us into Gellert’s VERY confusing transfer to Europe’s Ministry to answer for his crimes... The intro threw me off; there’s a time jump and there’s an extreme LACK of having our previously established characters development and fallout from the first film being EXPLAINED so we (audience) can make a connection to this next entry.  Like, Credence’s survival (yes, I’m well aware of the deleted scenes that were actually supposed to be shown at the end of FB1 according to Yates...) because we don’t get to connect the dots on screen of HOW and WHY Credence and his Obscurus survived with the additional information of his Obscurus being HANDLED (like, wasn’t the premise of the previous film the urgency of how this THING was going to KILL him and EVERYONE in NYC?), him finding his adoption paper, getting to Paris and into a travelling circus (which, also... makes no sense??)... We’ll put a pin on that for a bit here...  Also, Tina and Newt’s relationship; we really are left wondering how and why they are even romantically involved as the first film established them as strangers to mutual friends at the end... Something that should’ve been shown on screen could’ve been Newt choosing to continue his Beasts studies and books over staying and risking himself being in America for his love interest, Tina. Again, put a pin on that for now...  But instead, I just felt the into to the film was as vapid as JKR’s writing when she simply just doesn’t care for CONTINUITY and actually making sense of ANYTHING.  But nnnooooo, we just get an hour and a half of meaningless exposition and threads that aren’t even expanded or given closure to...  Gellert putting Abernathy as his doppelganger really pissed me off, because we never are shown an inkling as to WHY Abernathy chose or perhaps had always been on Gellert’s side (could’ve even expanded on the idea of Abernathy playing a role in Percival’s capture/implied death in the first film)... Even Seraphina doesn’t mention or show ANYTHING about their most powerful wandless wizard being GONE... he was SOMEONE alive and WORKING in MACUSA for a substantial amount of time... that had connections, powers above anyone, and obvious trust and influence to Seraphina... which also begs the question, why is there such a heavy emphasis on Gellert using his wand magic, when he had been using wandless while impersonating Mr. Graves?  Now, to get into another huge issue; character development continuity: How did the time jump from the intro give us very DIFFERENT characters than the one’s we had been introduced, learned to love/hate be turned into vacant shells of all their development?  Like, I’m sorry but what in the actual FUCK did JKR do with Queenie’s character? She seemed like a genuinely sweet and subtly powerful witch that used her gifts to her advantage... to this, desperate, powerless, and lost character? The Queenie we were shown had a sparkle for adventure and curiosity that gradually came to admire Jacob and truly was heart broken when his memory was erased--to kidnapping him, putting a love charm against his will, and forcing him to go to London with her? She acted the very opposite of who she is and she seemed to have strong morals to stand by her sister’s side, help no-maj’s out, and using her powers for what she felt was right.... To being hapless in Paris, because she wouldn’t own up to her kidnapping and using magic on Jacob against his will, and then DECIDING to JOIN Gellert’s very VAGUE AND STRANGE CULT.  Newt seemed more like a confused boy the entire installment with flashes of him and his abilities with connecting to beasts, thrown into this second installment as a reminder that “fantastic beasts” is in the title of the movie...  Also the broken up dialogue; I DIDNT GET A SINGLE STRAIGHT ANSWER IN ANY GODDAMN CONVERSATION HELD BY ANY CHARACTER! like WOW for a two hour+ movie I got ZERO dialogue that made me go ‘ahhh i get it now!’ no, everyone was running away from each other like a grade-school gym dance.  Jacob was still, sort of, Jacob... but he and Newt’s friendship didn’t feel authentic in this film as it did in the previous. The banter (or lack thereof) was kind of just a callback to me of saying ‘ahahaha, dont you remember Jacob being funny in the last movie????? well look at this funny moment thats totally not needed!’  EVERYONE AVOIDING EACH OTHER FROM MISCOMMUNICATION LIKE THEYRE TEENAGERS REALLY MADE THE ADULT TONE OF THE LAST FILM JUST FALL FLAT... I had screamed internally every time some interaction happened and then someone RUNS AWAY! like, aren’t they adults??? even HP films has young TEENS being more accountable and willing to talk than every adult in this MOVIE.  Lets get into Gellert’s confusing vague cult of reasoning; Gellert’s wishes and aspirations and him killing people and children to comparing his reasoning that he will stop WW2 with his hookah skull... just didn’t make sense, I’ll also add that Gellert’s LACK of character really just pissed me off, like, Voldemort wasn’t revealed until waaaay later and even when he was a face on the back of someone’s bald ass head; made a more CONVINCING and REASONED character with his motives. Gellert just seemed like a casual shit disturber and running a murderous vague cult because Albus won’t do shit and he knows it... He’s like an angsty teenager that never got had someone sit and hug it out type deal. Also, the way he treats his followers and the lack of showing HOW he got so many followers; like, I’m sorry but how did this angsty man-baby get followers???? Oh, right, he used his words that... AGAIN, fall goddamn short even when we FINALLY got to see his “gathering” and “speech” that was so hyped for almost 2 hours... It didn’t make sense to his reasoning or why he was acting out IMHO.  Alright, now let’s get to the character introduction... or really, half-assed intro to the many people I COULDNT CARE FOR... Expect my personal surprise with Theseus, we’re introduced to a man that seems more compelling and complex than Gellert (seriously tbh). Somehow we’re led to believe a guy who constantly (as we’re shown) to reach out to Newt that HES the one making their relationship complicated? When it becomes apparent that Leta and Newt are the two with complicated history and Theseus loves them both deeply????? Enough that he just stands back knowing damn well Newt and Leta have a past but he’s secure in his relationship between all both people he just wants them all to get along. Now, I get that Theseus wants Newt to be an Aura, but we’re also shown he has his reasons to help Newt (ultimately); Theseus showed more character development than ANYONE in this ENTIRE MOVIE (well Albus is second in this) but him CHASING HIS BROTHER TO GET ANSWERS is somehow ‘BAD TEMPER’ according to Tina... like really, almost all the female characters were lacking level-headed sanity purposely written by JKR so I would resent the characters I had grown to actually like???? Nagini is just thrown into the plot as a mother-like figure for Credence but Credence is displayed as some selfish man-child, he can’t reason with Nagini and it leads to their strange relationship ending with Nagini feeling betrayed. And then there’s Leta and her over-played storyline to be cut short by her sacrifice that literally didn’t do anything for the plot but make me want to punch a wall because Theseus is left with a broken heart and a brother who will ditch him in a minute to talk to Albus...  There were other characters that were so lacking in development that if any or all of them died, I felt like I could still sleep like a baby knowing that JKR had made such shitty vapid characters and lack of development, I felt NOTHING for practically everyone. Albus, Theseus, and Queenie had the most emotional complexity but even then, I’m giving them kudos because everything else was lacking so much I clung onto whoever threw an emotional fit first.  The whole dynamic between Albus, Gellert, and Credence really just angered me. Red herring the entire premise of Credence wanting to know his identity so DESPERATELY he was willing to join Gellert’s vague emo posse of a cult, only to be revealed as not a Lestrange (which we had been hyped tf up to know) as, instead, THE BRO ALBUS AND NOBODY IN THE HP UNIVERSE APPARENTLY KNEW OR WAS EVER EXPLAINED JUST WHY ALBUS’ BABY BROTHER IS ON A BOAT TO AMERICA (i’M GUESSING THIS EXPOSITION WILL BE EXCRUCIATINGLY TOLD ONLY TO BE SOME OTHER LIE AND BAM CREE IS DEAD)???? But YES lets not elaborate on the queer baiting of Credence, Albus, and Gellert... JKR just wanted to hype us up for nothing and all of Credence’s development and complexity is summed up to ‘lol ur a dumbledore, cree’ really is a slap to the face. Albus being trapped a majority at the school was a half-ass way for us to not have Albus confront Credence to get him to fin d his answers at Hogwarts... Lets be real.  But basically, everyone wasn’t themselves, people we were introduced to were flatlined or placed in stereotypical tropes, and every exposition turn was a red herring thats never elaborated on or concluded... the lack of goddamn comprehensive dialogue, and we got queer baited by the ever infamous JKR....  and my final take: WHERE THE FUCK IS PERCIVAL GRAVES?????  So, this was my long-ass ranting about this movie and why I probably watched it for the criminal reasoning to hurt myself and be disappointed in the end... Was i surprised? NO.  Am I going to watch the next installment... maybe... just for closure to this epic failure of a second installment.  Thanks for making it to the end, I hope this was less painful than the actual film. 

[tumblunni]

Man the manga makes it look so fun to be a Nobody!

I really marvel at how they captured the uncanny nature of the enemy Nobodies?? Cos seriously the whole point of them is that they look humanoid but move in really inhuman ways. And each individual enemy type has its own unique mannerisms for this, but in general its like..slugs? I'm pretty sure its slugs?? They stretch and squish and wiggle around and its like pretty much EXACTLY how medicinal leeches move, but thats a very underrated animal so its probably more likely it was slugs or worms. Like 'hey lets exaggerate slugs' but BELIEVE IT OR NOT THAT FATEFUL WIGGLIER SLUG DOES TRULY EXIST. And i love their cutie patoot lil faces. And the world needs to appreciate them more!

...ok im getting offtopic but you get the gist of what i mean. The basic Dusk enemies are vaguely humanoid things with their arms and legs tapering off into sticklike points, and they either wiggle them around like leech heads or hold their arms behind them naruto run style and use their entire body as a leech! Like its more likely that they pick up stuff by wrapping around it like a snake, rather than just using hands?? And also they can fly and stick to ceilings and just generally have loads of fun?? And look really pretty?? And some of the other more complex nobodies look even cooler doing their weird wiggle flying. Like the Assassin type have these weird big metal petal shapes on their arms that flutter like feathers and make them look like winged snakes crossed with.. Kites...? Kites made of kimonos? Being worn by a man with no face..?

SERIOUSLY WHO DESIGNED THESE FUNKY THINGS THEYRE SO UNIQUELY GENIUS

And aaa the Days manga has a REALLY good panel showing a big swarm of them in flight and it just looks SO MAGICAL AND SPOOKY! this is the exact kind of Aesthetically Nutso Ghost Monster Person i wish i could be! The manga is so cool at iimplying the same sense of inhuman motion by drawing them like motion tweens? Like theyre warped into wildly different body shapes in every panel and its just SO CREEPY and SO BADASS and SOMETIMES KINDA MAJESTIC AND ENDEARING EVEN! And this big flight scene has EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL ONE drawn with its own different pose and mannerisms and like man every one of these weird squiggle flights looks like a world of fun to do!! God i love when superpowers actually look FUN, yo! It fuckin sucks that theyre just low level enemies and not ever playable. The only Nobodies that are playable or even get a big amount of screentime in cutscenes are the ones that ACTUALLY look humanoid and also move humanoid and BOOOO have zero traits of the monster theyre supposed to be. Like man just give me a whole game playing a lil bebby Nobody flying around! They remind me of the wanderers in Journey, they'd be so well suited to a chilled out exploration game like that.

And AAAAAA i get so sad thinking about how they're like bebbys!!! Noooo! Why do we not have more sympathy for them?? Like the particular way they write their 'bumbling weak enemy' scenes just comes off more like..well..sad thoughts about what happens when you lose your heart. Cos i mean the series really doesnt dwell much on the implications of the fact every single one of them used to be human! And whenever they're not being given orders by the higher ups in the organization, theyre just shown wiggling around flying in circles for fun, like a shoal of fish. They're so inhuman now, aside from vague resembelance in their appearances. They'd be seen as the cute wpodland critters in a disney princess musical number if they werent designated as monsters! Like they're not just 'dumb', they friggin dont remember how to talk anymore. And in their most memorable scene they dont understand the order "find this person" and can be easily tricked by photos of him. "Yes boss here is roxas he's a little more flatter than usual but here he is!" And they just keep gathering hundreds of the same person and never once cotton on to anything being wrong. Its so cute and also scary?? Cos seriously they are such eldritch monstrosities of fragmented soul that they move on to STEALING THE WORD PHOTOGRAPH. Just plucking it right out of the language! Failing so hard that you warp the laws of reality! I feel sorry for the poor lil guys, you definately cant say they didnt try as hard as possible!

AND SERIOUSLY THATS ALSO A COMMON TRAIT IN THE MANGA

I'm just so happy that they gave a bit more sympathy to the low level enemies because seriously WHO GIVES SUCH A GOOD DESIGN TO A LOW LEVEL ENEMY AND THEN BARELY EVER USES THEM FOR ANY SCENES

They actually give some sorts of pseudo dialogue to them?? Like during the kh2 prologue they show roxas being able to psychically perceive their thoughts while theyre trying to kidnap him. And its just so sympathetic and sad in retrospect?? They did a great job amplifying everything about this sequence because they made the Nobodies look so much scarier, made Roxas's life with his friends look even more heartwarming, and made it all super tense so you overlook all these little hints and just cheer for roxas in defeating these guys. But they left so many things that actually foreshadow that Roxas is a Nobody too, so reading this a second time is so sadddddd. I almost wish this was the first time i experienced the story, i think it does basically everything better than the original game version. Like seriously THAT ONE LINE OF WHAT THE WEAK ENEMIES ARE THINKING! "We've found you, my leige". THEY WERE JUST TRYING TO SAVE THEIR BOSS AND DIDNT KNOW WHY HE DIDNT RECOGNISE THEM. AND THEN HE ATTACKS THEM AND THEY DONT KNOW WHY!! aaa theyre just BABIES god theyre just ghost demon thingies that are like the larval stage compared to the main character versions. They dont remember who they were as humans, they just know they love their boss!! and he's apparantly been kidnapped by scary humans!! THEY WERE TRYING SO HARD TO SAVE HIM!! they got so damn close to taking over the town and they were swarming everywhere searching for him and Axel was trying so hard too and Diz just kept interrupting him before he cpuld explain or lying to roxas to manipulate them against each other! And axel even brought cake and icecream with him!! He was just trying to rescue his lil bro!!! Auuuugh seriously it was such a good twist that the Scary Monster Dudes were objectively in the right throughout this entire intro, and they just wanted to save Roxas's goddamn life. And he didnt even get to remember his peaceful days as a family with his fellow monster boyos until like five seconds before dying :(

Did anyone else just.. Not want to play kingdom hearts 2 after the prologue?

Like i couldnt stand the mood whiplash of going back to happy go lucky disney worlds with sora and having no more deep sad intriguing plot points for like ten hours of gameplay. And i could never take Organization 13 seriously as villains when the entire damn prologue was them being SUPER FUCKING SYMPATHETIC and the 'good guy' trying to murder a child in order to bring sora back. Like why am i supposed to be happy that he succeeded when i know sora himself would say no if he was told what sacrifice had to happen to bring him back? I would have been way more interested in this sequel having me play as roxas and try and take on the legacy of sora as the next hero and try and find a way to bring sora back without anyone having to die. Like the whole story could be people being all 'blah blah youre worthless youre not human your only purpose is to die for the sacrifice' and we explore all different sorts of 'heroes' doing horrible acts and justifying it to themselves because some people are just 'born evil' and its okay to do whatever you want to them. And Roxas is always struggling with almost believing that shit about himself, but in the end he does succeed to find a happy ending for everyone without a need for 'sacrifices'. And he learns to have self confidence and form his own identity and have more friendship scenes with Axel and co and also redeem all the other Nobodies please and also hug the tiny enemy childrens ones. I just did not feel much for the plot of kh2 at all except for the Nobodies!! Its just not sympathetic to have your 'heroes' arguing that 'oh they dont have hearts theyre not human they dont feel anything so theyre all evil and its all fine'. The game acts like this is true despite giving sympathetic backstories to half of them and the other half all die crying that they want to live!! What the fuck!! Like the only consolation is that they clearly cottoned on to the Org being RIDICULOUSLY POPULAR and later games literally bring all the most fan-loved ones back from the dead and add EVEN MORE sympathetic backstories and also here have a bigger villain who was really responsible and also he lied to them and theyre NOT really empty hearted and incapable of love. THEY ARE CONSTANTLY SHOWN HAVING THAT, EVEN THE WEAK LIL ENEMY DUDES HAVE ALL THAT LOYALTY TO ROXAS AAAAGH THEY DIED IN DROVES TRYING IN VAIN TO SAVE HIMMMMM

And god theyre so cute and so well designed and so sad and im sorry but AGGHHHH

I Forgot I Had So Many Emotions For The Emotionless Bebs :(

...also i really wish i cpuld get this pic of thos one panel to upload cos it looks real cool. I didnt think anything could make me love them more!!! Theyte just innocent weird snake bird worm person mannequin origami things. They just want to flutter around like messed up butterflies! And adorably poke at things they're curious about, and hold brooms awkwardly with their squiggle hands! The manga shows them doing lil chores around the house!! I LOVE THEMMMMMMM

[deadcactuswalking]

Gorillaz: Song Machine - Review

*Song Machine* - or at least this first season - feels much like most first seasons of good TV shows: they're just starting out, it's a bit rough around the edges, and the characters aren't all there. This album is at its best with its bangers like the energetic "Momentary Bliss", where slowthai and Slaves both give it their all and result in an excellent ska-punk romp with Damon Albarn seemingly observing from the audience for an intro and a short verse, much like in *Humanz*. In fact, Damon seems to be conflicted if he wants to play a main role in this album like *The Now Now* or stick to being practically a backing vocalist for his guest stars. Whilst he feels more involved and well integrated this time around, it's pretty obvious that the focus here was on the guests, even if it lead to awkwardly tying ScHoolboy Q to the end of "PAC-MAN" (his verse is great but falls flat of feeling like a genuine climax to the song), or just letting Octavian moan and groan on "Friday 13th", where he sounds as out of place as seemingly possible. "Friday 13th" is also where the main problems of the album lie: its sonically exhausting approach to songwriting. Gorillaz have always been about "vibes" and the music with that patter of sociopolitical commentary that kept the band fresh and exciting - from discussing the Iraq War on *Demon Days* to global warming on *Plastic Beach*, hell, even the Trump presidency on *Humanz*. Yet, much like *Humanz*, Damon seems to just re-tread ideas and let everyone else do the talking. On "Strange Timez", Damon brings up Belarus and feels like he's onto something but by "Dead Butterflies", Kano's verse outshines the rest of the song and defines its existence with his in-depth and powerful verse... so why let the song continue afterwards? Most of these songs seem to continue for no reason other than a lack of ideas to make the song end well. "Aries" is pointless in all regards and I'm not an expert on mixing but those drum-fills sounded ugly, as does that lazy chorus that does little more than fill time in a pretty empty track. I like the post-punk reminiscent throwbacks with the guitar tones spread throughout the album but half the time any theme blends into the background of bleep-bloopy synths. It's fair to compare this to *Humanz* in many ways but I actually feel like *Humanz* does a better job at making the album sound like any of it makes sense and is worth listening to by the end of the record. "We Got the Power" may be corny but it sums up the album's themes and ideas a lot better than the closing tracks here. For a "song machine" intended to just get some great varied musicians and artists and drum up collaborative ideas, this feels less unique or interesting than even their B-sides. It's cohesive, sure, but only because of a shared disinterest in wanting to make songs impactful. "Desolé" takes one minute to get going, overstays its welcome in the four minutes it has and then continues to be a bore for an extended outro. I love the horns and Fatoumata Diawara has a voice more fitting for the lead vocals than Albarn's deadbeat drawl, but one can only rely on vague lyrics about distance and isolationism and a slog of a chorus for so long. "Strange Timez" has a chorus full of empty space, "The Lost Chord" is a *Plastic Beach* track sounding like it was covered by Richard Cleese (seriously, that song goes nowhere), amd even on tracks where I can't deny the greatness of the vocal performances and synthwork like "The Pink Phantom", the music feels directionless. Elton smashes his verses but has no place being there with the robotic slurring of both Damon and 6LACK - who might actually fit better on this production than anyone else; I might have actually preferred this instrumental just be given to him on a solo project. All this complaining and comparing does no justice to the album's finest moments though, like the collaboration that makes so much sense I'm surprised it took two and a half decades to happen, "Valley of the Pagans" featuring Beck back on his *Midnite Vultures* shit. Everything I loved about Beck in his prime is here, nonsensical and at times oddly vulgar and slap-dash lyrical salad included. It has a solid groove, an infectious chorus, and more importantly, both guys sound like they care. Robert Smith sounds as great as ever on "Strange Timez" - as does Damon with his half-rapped topical verses - and "Chalk Tablet Towers" is a genuinely great tune where St. Vincent plays a backing role to sunshine-y electropop and beautiful synth wankery on the outro, although I do find myself wanting more of a chorus to make the short bop even greater. It also feels like a re-tread of "She's My Collar" in some regards but definitely surpasses that cut, for me at least. I think I've touched on everything here, and while I can't stress enough that this is far from a bad or even middling album, I can't help but feel disappointed by this, even if just by acknowledging the concept, I probably should have known exactly what I was in for. 

Rating: 6/10

Favourite tracks: Valley of the Pagans, PAC-MAN, Chalk Tablet Towers, Momentary Bliss Least favourites: The Lost Chord, Aries, Friday 13th

Also this review only counts and discusses the standard edition of the album, even if the deluxe is the only one available on streaming. I have similar issues with the tracks and I'm not sure if some of these could have replaced the standard tracks. Most of these tracks sound more like *Humanz* than *Song Machine* actually but are as much of a slog as the worst tracks on the standard, especially the demo-sounding "Simplicity",  "Severed Head" where absolutely no-one's interested and the under-developed "With Love to an Ex". "Opium" has an excellent pay-off though, and "MLS" is a collaboration I did not know I wanted and both CHAI and Peggy have great contributions. "How Far?" is the only deluxe track that feels finished and it's an above-average Skepta song over an incredible, undoubtedly Gorillaz beat that really should have been on the standard.

[thetourguidebarbie]

Would something smth fluffy with Rebekah x Caroline? :) for your new drabble collection? I don’t really have an idea what fluffy but if you wants specific request I can find one :) just some romantic fluff. Can be AH, doesn’t have to. And maybe getting a but into smut (some making put) but nothing too mayor. Would be so great❤️ thank you!

I’m pretty sure that it has been two years since I got this prompt. I’m sorry it took this long. Sorority Sisters AU. NSFW. Honestly I just wanted someone to throw a drink in Damon’s face.

She and Rebekah had never really been friends.

Like, sure they were sorority sisters, and yes they’d compared notes on the occasional shoe sale and ended up watching America’s Next Top Model reruns silently side-by-side when the school’s questionable wi-fi went out and there was nothing else on television, but not friends.

In fact, Caroline would have probably said that Rebekah tolerated her at best, and strongly disliked her at worst.

She still didn’t know why, either. They’d met in the sorority house’s living room during rush week when Caroline had struck up a conversation with her, and at the time Caroline had thought they’d hit it off pretty well. The invitation she got to Rebekah’s sorority was further proof, and she’d gone in hoping that she might have a tentative friendship with someone.

She’d also tried to fight down the silly crush on the other girl that had wormed its way into her brain.

Unfortunately, she’d had her hopes unceremoniously stomped on the second she moved in. Rebekah barely acknowledged her presence, and when she did it wasn’t for anything meaningful. It had hurt, but Caroline wasn’t one to let other people walk all over her, and the first time she’d snapped back at Rebekah for being a total grade-A bitch two months into the semester, the room had gone silent.

“Well, that’s your opinion, sweets,” Rebekah said with a sarcastic smile before redirecting them back to the conversation.

After that it had become a push and pull of snark, sass, and backhanded compliments, and it had almost been fun. Rebekah occasionally seemed like she was enjoying the banter as well before remembering that she was supposed to be a stone-cold bitch for some unfathomable reason.

So yeah. They’d never been friends.

Not that it stopped Caroline from having the occasional Rebekah-related fantasy when she caught a moment alone for some Me Time, the vision of Rebekah running her tongue up Caroline’s inner thigh, blue eyes sparkling and her full lips pulled in a wicked smile...

And it wasn’t just physical either. Rebekah was funny and blunt and absurdly loyal to people she loved, and to have someone as loyal to her as she would be to them was undeniably appealing. They had interests in common and hated a lot of the same things, and it could be good.

However, Caroline had long ago resigned herself to Rebekah both hating her and probably being straight, and she’d gone out of her way to put the crush out of her mind. She’d had a whirlwind romance with Katherine Pierce from Gothic Lit and then some excellent friends-with-benefits shenanigans with Enzo St. John to get over her.

He’d actually happened to be Rebekah’s ex, and Caroline still wasn’t quite sure whether that had made it hotter or if she was just being petty—maybe both?

Either way, Rebekah had been in a terrible, vindictive mood for weeks once she found out, and Caroline had to hand it to her...that girl could hold a grudge.

And then Enzo had graduated and summer had flown by, and now they were back for fall for the few precious warm weeks when Rebekah wore tiny denim shorts that hugged her ass and slightly small tank tops that showed slips of creamy skin below the hem when she stretched.

They’d planned the sorority’s annual back to school bash together and it had been kind of torture and kind of awesome and Caroline hadn’t realized how much she’d missed sniping at Rebekah for totally valid reasons like light placement or music choice.

And now she was leaning against the bar, taking a break from dancing, enjoying a cheap cocktail and flirting with Matt, the bartender they hired for their parties.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

She recognized the voice immediately and wrinkled her nose, turning to see That Guy from her Intro to Psych class the year before who had asked a lot of off-topic questions about “the psychology of why nice guys never get the girl” (the professor had looked like she wanted to strangle him).

“I’m not interested,” she said firmly, and the guy (David? Daniel?) leaned against the bar beside her.

“Aww, why not?”

Seriously?

“Because I don’t want to?”

He gave her what was clearly supposed to be a charming smile. “How about I buy one for you and you can decide whether you want to drink it once we talk for a little bit?”

“Counter-offer: How about we don’t do that.”

“Aww, blondie. You seem like some fun might help you get the stick out of your pretty ass. And I can help with that.”

Caroline hadn’t yet processed what had happened when some unidentifiable liquid flew over her shoulder into Mr. Tall, Dark and Douchebag’s face.

“What the fuck?” he spluttered, wiping his face with the back of his hand. “Did you just throw your drink in my face?”

“Yes, actually. Though you haven’t left, so...” Rebekah’s voice trailed off before snatching Caroline’s drink from the bar and throwing it as well.

“I was drinking that,” Caroline protested, not quite sure what else to say as she turned to face Rebekah.

“Crazy bitch,” the guy hissed, standing up, and Rebekah shrugged, peering over the crowd and waving a large, muscled guy over, who took one look at the scene before grabbing the guy’s arm and dragging him off. Caroline vaguely wondered when this had become a scene from a bad television drama when Rebekah cleared her throat.

“Sorry about your drink.”

“Um...No worries?” Caroline half-asked, frowning.

Rebekah let out a sharp breath, her hands twisting as though she was nervous. “I’ll just buy you another, shall I?”

“Sure. Um, thanks.”

Rebekah gave her a weak smile and turned to Matt, sliding over a drink ticket. “One of whatever she was drinking please.”

“Why did you do that?” Caroline asked impulsively, the alcohol not exactly helping her brain-to-mouth filter.

“I didn’t like the way he was talking to you. Women protecting women and all that.”

“Right,” Caroline said slowly, trying not to look too suspicious. Rebekah wasn’t nice. She didn’t do things for altruistic reasons, and Caroline wondered what she could possibly want.

“And Damon’s a prick. I’ve wanted to do that for ages.”

“Damon! Right, that’s his name.”

“Yes.”

They stood in what felt like a weirdly loaded silence for a few seconds, and Rebekah seemed to be considering something, her teeth sinking into her plump lower lip in a way that made Caroline wonder, not for the first time. what she tasted like.

“Are you okay?” Caroline asked hesitantly, and Rebekah swallowed audibly before glancing at her, and Caroline could have sworn Rebekah’s gaze dropped to her lips for just a split second before...

Caroline made a soft squeak of surprise that was muffled by Rebekah’s mouth pressing against hers, and it only took her slightly tipsy brain a few seconds to process what was going on before her hands were tangling in Rebekah’s hair, the other girl’s body pressed flush against her own. Rebekah hummed as her hands settled on Caroline’s waist before her tongue swiped across Caroline’s lips, and she eagerly let them part, letting Rebekah lead.

She tasted like breath mints with traces of tequila, and a strand of her hair fell against Caroline’s cheek, her nipples stiffening as Rebekah pulled her closer, trailing her fingertips up and down her spine while her other hand drifted down to hover just above her ass. It was the invitation that Caroline needed to know that Rebekah really wanted her, and she didn’t particularly care that they were leaning against the bar in plain sight of everyone at the party. She slipped a thigh between Rebekah’s legs, the hem of her short dress tickling her skin, and Rebekah ground against her with a soft whimper, her french manicured nails digging into Caroline’s back. Her thoughts were hazy with lust and excitement and it was only when Rebekah pulled back for ragged gulps of air and a soft murmur of her name when their foreheads pressed together that a little bit of confusion wormed its way in.

She pushed Rebekah away when she heard a pointed cough and turned to see Matt looking vaguely amused.

“Sorry,” Caroline squeaked, and Rebekah scoffed, flipping her hair in a familiar gesture that reeked of the grating snobbery and an enticing kind of confidence that had always made her so tempting.

“I’m not,” she said, her voice haughty, and she tangled her fingers with Caroline’s, whose brain was thankfully beginning to catch up with the situation.

“Are you drunk?” Caroline asked as Rebekah practically dragged her to the stairs.

“A little,” Rebekah said. “But I planned on doing it tonight and I’m not going to regret this in the morning, if that’s your worry.”

“Throwing a drink in Damon’s face?”

“No. That was spontaneous. I’ve been trying to figure out how to deal with you for weeks. Well months, really.”

“Deal with me?” Caroline asked, the conversation having apparently taken a rather abrupt turn from where she’d thought it had been going. What the hell was this?

“Yes, because you’ve been being so infuriating.”

“Seriously? I’m infuriating? Have you looked in one of your gross fancy mirrors lately?”

“Yes, and you’re infuriating because you’re clever and beautiful and you wear ugly cardigans unironically and make me feel things and I don’t like it.”

“No offense, but if you’re trying to confess positive feelings for me you are failing.”

“I know. Why do you think I’ve put it off for a year? You’re so stupidly obvious about your crush on me that it borders on endearing, and you have no idea how annoyed with myself I am for wanting you.”

“Um...”

“You won’t shut up about how you logged over two thousand community service hours in high school and how you help people on purpose, and you’re adorably self-righteous and irritatingly optimistic and I just...” she let out a sharp breath, her hands fiddling with the hem of her dress, and it was the first time Caroline could recall seeing the other girl so uncomfortable. “I like the way you argue with me and your ‘strong feelings’”—she made air quotes—“About terrible reality television and how you identify with that girl from that old, cheesy vampire show—”

“Cordelia.”

“Right.”

“Who is awesome.”

“Right, you do things like that where you interrupt and always have to be right and you have opinions about everything—”

“Oh, and you don’t?”

“And then you started seeing Katherine Pierce, and honestly Caroline her perfume is ghastly and she eats packaged instant noodles. I don’t understand how you survived—”

“Well, not all of us can order Amazon Fresh from the comfort of our sorority houses—”

“Yes, but still. And then of course you had to start fucking Lorenzo because he decided that breaking up with me because I casually fancied you also meant he could seduce you away from me—”

“Rebekah you’re being a little dramatic. And like, kind of possessive?”

“I don’t share.”

“We’re not even dating.”

“Fine. Do you want to get dinner, then?”

Caroline blinked. “What?”

“Dinner. A date. With me. So we’re dating,” Rebekah said slowly as though she were explaining something simple to a child, and Caroline found herself questioning her own, generally impeccable taste.

“Why do I like you?”

Rebekah snorted. “Honestly, I’m not sure. Most people find me a bit rude.”

“A bit?”

“But I am pleased you do like me, as I’m quite fond of you.”

“I gathered that.”

Rebekah nodded. “Right. So, dinner?”

“Like, now?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Caroline agreed. “I could go for IHOP.”

“What is IHOP?” Rebekah asked slowly, and Caroline grinned.

“International house of pancakes. It’s cheap and you’ll hate it, but it’s great drunk food, and you get to practice comprising.”

“Sounds delightful,” Rebekah said dryly, but she reached to tentatively link her fingers with Caroline’s, who couldn’t help but grin.

[kendrixtermina]

Crying Jewelry Friends! - Reviewing the latest Steven Bomb.

First, sorry for the delay; I didn’t review them as soon as they leaked because I wanted to watch the bomb with my sisters. This probably improves the quality of the observations as they are perceptive in some areas that I’m not and vice versa. By and large, we loved it and thought it was very clever. 

- So yeah, all those people who theorized that Pink Diamond was like the quirky little sister got it right. *tips hat*

- I love how Connie immediately figures out the ‘Palaquin’ part. No reason the characters have to be dumber than the audience. Thanks for taking us seriously!

- This also clarified some things about Rose’s and Greg’s relationship; on the one hand she slipped him that ‘home planet’ white lie and she seems to have had a big bag o’ secrets but on the other hands there were moments like when she trusted greg with the laser light cannon which suggested she was a lot more open with him than the CGs ever suspected. 

Now we know the dynamic behind it: She actually did have an above-average full trust going there, but he told her that it didn’t matter to him. At the time it really didn’t, homeworld wasn’t an issue; It’s different for Steven tho.

So that was Greg trying to make her feel accepted & help her over her feelings of guilt! I like how it was actually Greg’s decision & flows naturally from his prsonality. 

- The enslaved humans sequence gave me serious TOS vibes - they all need Jesus  Captain Kirk. 

- Steven has really hit puberty here/ done some teenage rebellion/reorientation in seeking out the information for himself; The whole confrontation wth the gems and the moment in the ship really drive down the self-doubt that was explored over the course of this season. He takes an action for his own inner peace but then immediately feels bad like it’s a selfish thing; It’s good that he’s got this out of this system, and that they made it an actual plot point how he basically has to squeeze the information out of them

- The “How to Warp Drive” Sequence had some really nice animations, and it’s amusing how they didn’t listen to Peridot and had almost everything happening that she warned them of XD It’s cute how they trusted her to hold down the fort. 

- i wonder if we’ll see those very tiny gems from the calibration menu

- I am also glad that they remembered the Rubies, and that they seem to have found each other so at least poor Leggy isn’t all alone. Looking forward for when they pick them up. 

- So agates are enforcers/overseers, though the one we meet (Hollyblue Agathe) is kind of like your archetypical misplaced kindergarten teacher, sort of with vague umbridge/thatcher vibes, though she’s more like a mix of stern nanny and haughty aristocrat. I don’t think she’s pure evil (though she’d definitely be the type to retain some token prejudice after reforms happen), but it was very very satisfying to see Pearl sass her in the end. 

- and we finally know what Lapis Lazulis do! I guess I was right with ‘terraformers’, and that they’re high-ranking (like Saphires and Agates); It makes sense how she has such huge power but no combat experience, and what her probable mission was. I wonder if this will be expanded upon but in any case it might quiet down some of the haters still asscribing sinister motives to her

- We might have to reconsider the place of Quartzes in the hierarchy; I don’t think they’re fully seen as thrash given how the Rubies and Peridot talk of them, but even Peridot used to look down at Pearls so you kinda how everyone looks down at those beneath them.

- But it certainly shows the pressures Jasper had to overcome and why she felt such a strong need to distance herself from earth and the other beta products - I didn’t expect so many of them to be still alive tho. 

- All the Rose Quartzes being sorted out was also something people called. So homeworld ~does~ use bubbles, though one wonders who made them, did PD do this before she was killed?  I loved that bit where steven noticed that they’re just like his own gem it took my sisters a bit to catch onto this? It’s kind of cruel how they’re all sealed like, many of them were probably loyal to homeworld and basically thrown in jail, or even the death row, for something ‘our’ Rose did. 

- Indeed, YD markedly dismisses Agate with the exact same line that she dismisses Pearl and the Quartzes with, calling to wind how Peridot clapped to “make Pearl go away”. No matter how high or low you are in this, you look down at the ones below and are terrified of the ones above. 

- Another wish of mine that finally come true is an episode that explored Garnet’s feelings, though “Three Gems and a Baby” already hinted at that, these eps had her more exposed; I loved how there was a sense of continuity wether they were fused or not, but it also showcased the developement of them as individuals and how they are stronger together. Sapphire in particular really shines as a character in here. 

We already knew that both are still affected for how they were treated, Ruby being treated as disposable, their way of life and eve their love seen as abomination, both expected to conform to narrow roles  - for Garnet individually there’s also the added layer than they don’t even want to let her exist except perhaps as a war machine. Ruby is audibly salty but perhaps more tellingly, both (and by extension, Garnet) are still bloody terrified of Blue. Even as Garnet, she was reluctant to confront her. Garnet still sometimes falls into the ‘predetermination paradox trap’ and not being a socially smooth leader. 

- Ironically, she has something in common with the Diamonds there and how they’re not always up to the pressure of being the boss. I wouldn’t be surprised if Pink were a dark mirror of Rose’s leading style - She seems to share her idiosyncratic quirkyness in a sense, or what passes as such for a Diamond. 

- We also got a further backstory hint for Pearl - She used to serve under PD and got disgusted with how they treated the humans perhaps seeing a parallel to her own situation. We know she spent substantial time serving on the other side. But though Pearl was always the least human friendly and most anchored in homeworld culture, in contrast with the homeworld folks themselves we see how she’s actually rather far from them and couldn’t really play her old role if she wanted to, which she doesn’t. 

While she encounters doubts and engrained insecurities on her own path, that doesn’t mean she hasn’t advanced at all - nice, uplifting and very true message, and relatable, like,prsonally,  even though I cut contact with my abusive father I still don’t have my shit 100% together and often that makes me feel like he was right all along, but when I look back it’s clear that it’s much better to not be constantly angry, have zero control, not be yelled at and mocked all the time and I wouldn’t stand for being near him even if someone made me. I still struggle but its not nothing. 

- In general a lot of the CG’s character developements is showcased by having them attempt to pass for homeworld gems - They can play out/ ‘master’ these roles without being trapped in them and therefore they no longer have power over them. 

- Amethyst already had that moment when she had to impersonate Jasper but this event offered something else for her character curve that still makes it an important moment. She has always been comparing herself to ‘proper’ Quartzes, but so far, those have been an abstract threatening presence pieced together from Peridot’s comments and the attitude of Jasper, who is just as different from the average as Amethyst herself. 

Granted, the Amethysts are probably what one would think of as ‘rejects’ given that they’re said to have mostly sentimental value, but, they’re what some of homeworld’s forces look like. 

But now that she’s actually met other Amethysts, they’re no longer some scary shadowy quality - they’re rowdy & silly just like herself, and they even liked her and accepted her as one of her own. So she gets to sort of connect with the roots the othes sielded her from but in a positive way where they’re not some elusive ‘badaness’

 - To the others discarding their cut numbers was probably empowering but for Amethyst learning what hers might have been probably gave her a sense of closure and belonging. I suppose it underlines the important point that different people can experience the same things diferently and attach different meanings to them

- Which confirms that the first part of the number/ cut numbers are used as a quasi informal adress where distinguishment is necessary but the full number would be too formal. Which I vaguely suspected because Peridot uses “Peridot5xG” as an username. 

- Headcannon: We just met the sideways carnelian and “Skinny over there”. I mean, we’ve all been waiting forever to see a ‘properly cooked Amethyst’ and the other Beta gems. Like, thank rebecca! I count this as fanservice. 

- Also we got to see what a typical gem barracks look like/ what they have for personal accomodations. As I suspected not that much personal space or induvidual decorations  (Then again, they don’t really need beds or tables; though they do seem to get exhausted.) Interesting that it lowkey looks like exit holes. Maybe they find that comorting? It’s mitigated in that they seem to have a sense of community geoing on. 

I imagine Jasper owned a fancier place by herself, while Peridot used to live in place much like that but Peridot-sized and with space to keep tools. 

- We knew singing YD was comming but everyone expected a classical villain song. In general it was a VERY clever musical sequence that I will make a separate post on. It is a very well-crafted, very intelligent musical sequence, as it should be given that the intro turned up to be leading up to this and how it co-opts the Diamond theme itself. 

The clever thing about it is that it gives people all the things they could want from a villain song while still subverting the expectations: We hear the actress’ voice exposed, it provides a look into the antagonist’s motivations, it gives us a dark swingy tune with some juicy contralto action, setting up both the physical and idiological conflict -  

But it’s not “muahaha evil monologue”, but Yellow Diamond in a private conversation, in the role an older sister. They basically did a villain song without actually doing a villain song. 

- The punny title, as the introduction to our central antagonists, can also said to underline one of the central anti-theses of the show. “What’s the point of feeling” in general. This show has always fundamentally been about emotional expression, and the way it treats emotion is one of the things that fundamentally set it apart from other shows - at least American ones. So the logical antagonist for a hero like Steven to confront would be people like that who hide away their ostensible grief behind cold, hardened facades (but nonetheless still suffer it and never really work through it.)

BD may have had these moments in private but she’s just as icy as Yellow with her subordinates; They all personally fired the corruption ray. 

But most important: They - especially Yellow - feel like they have to be this way to be strong leaders. 

Much more poignant than just unfeeling pragmatists with nothing else, because few people are actually like that. 

- Even though they have more power & privilege than anyone, even the Diamonds sometimes feel limited or pressured by their intended role as leaders

- Neither of the two is over it, or cares more than the other, they just have different coping mechanisms. The way BD ends up putting her hand on Yellow’s back in the end makes that patently clear. 

- They’re God-Emperor Dictators, but among themselves they act like an aristocratic family. It’s clear in word choice (’we still love her’) and how they behave toward each other, the physical comfort etc. I must admit at the beginning/ before the PD reveal, I never expected their relations with each other to be anything other than ‘deadly decadent court’/rivalry and that THEY killed PD for dissenting. Then again, intelligent trope use and subverted is something this show always did very well

- Makes one wonder what White Diamond’s role in this is - Is she the big sister, or more like the Queen Mother? We know she’s probably the eldest, rules homeworld (the sphere in her hands) and a forehead gem; Her role might be intertwined with how the first gems came to be and how/why the system was created, what problem it was intended to solve, something that needs to understand in order to repell it. One also wonders what other, dispararate reaction she had to PD’s death - perhaps, saying she deserved it for being weak in order not to face that she really blames herself or something?

- It makes me think of that WWI documentary I recently watched (take a shot for each ) It’s often jokingly referred to as the most expensive family feud ever but it was more of a constant clusterfuck; Before things broke out there had been letters of the Tzar and the German emperor writing each other a letter where they referred to each other as “Willie” and “Nickie”, hoping to avert the war. Everyone cheers when the king is beheaded because he represents more than one man, they are the system personified, the ones who could change it and didn��t; The person in charge exists to take responsibility. - that’s what the Sword of Damocles is. But even kings are people and thugh they might have done more to stop things they’re still humans who might not have deserved what happened to them.. This is even more true with aristocrats who were ~born~ into their roles instead of chosing them. 

- For perspective: Mari, a big theater nerd and actual amateur performer who’s been in musicals herself & is friends with ppl who do ths on a regular basis, couldn’t stop gushing about its professional brilliance. Apparently YD’s VA is a really big deal whom even Lin Manuel Miranda feels honored to work with. 

- I for my part have a new earworm just when I was getting ‘it’s over isn’t it’ out of my system  

- I was also correct on the creepy ending sounds being the Diamond Theme, all of it leading up to this. 

- There was also more on another of my favorite Threads, the role of culture and music in Gem society and how they used to have all the spires and pictograms. It seems that the aristocrats still have music, or maybe it was all for the aristocrats to begin with, and low-ranking folks like Peridot just never had contact with it. Clearly, you don’t have to be an elite to be artistic and musical. 

- This also underlines the contrast between Peridot and Pearl tho, Peridot being a technician with an artsy side whereas Pearl was a pretty musical servant who turned out to be rather good at tech. Both music & technology seem to be taken for granted as YD readily makes use of it but doesn’t really value the people who make it for her. (”I don’t want to hear about potential and ressources.”)

- Another great obversation Mari made is how much the Pearls’ personalities come through even though they make exactly the same movements and dances. I loved that bit where Yellow Pearl impersonates an Agate. In general, the Pearls were just adorable little show stealers. 

- Here’s some interesting observations from Sabbel (the other sister):

a) The way Agate speaks about YD suggests that she is quite popular in 

To me personally the scene where Agate gushes about her underlined the contrast between Yellow Diamond and her propaganda, but in a different way than before - 

We had this thing where Peridot expected her to be super rational, then she’s capricious an shatters all expectations just by existing. 

With the PD reveal, we could already theorize that there was a generational divide there, with Earth being a sore topic that Peridot is as unaware of as Amethyst (it’s no coincidence that the two younger gems become fast friends)

 Now we have a more complete picture/puzzle that both these pieces fit into - Like, last time she appeared it was “She is not a god”, but this time we’ve seen Yellow Diamond the person.

But what you also see is why someone like Jasper would rally around YD and her ‘commanding presence’, she too wanting to keep up the strenght while supressing her grief. It paints a picture of what Jasper, who respects strenght and strenght only, might have thought of her. And of course YD herself would take over  PD’s ‘useful’ underlings rather than the ones with mostly sentimental value. 

b) Sabbel also finds it’s worth noting that, as their personal attendants, the Pearls get to actually witness the Diamonds in such moments/ their everyday lives. They still react sorta afraid like they expect tantrums

c) She loved how the Amethysts have varying hair lenghts. I do too. Heck, can we just adopt all of the Quartzes? 

- Though I know that people are going to leather pants them anyway, In my eyes one of the greatest strenghts of the episodes is that it manages to humanize the Diamons without allowing you to forget that they’re villains. 

This is enforced in how the episodes are full of dismissive treatment down the homeworld hierarchy, and how everyone involved consistently refers to humans as “it”, or how those poor Rose Quartzes are casually used a props. 

She determies that Greg “doesn’t deserve to die”, but doesn’t even consider any of the other humans. 

Somewhere between “every racist has exceptions/ token “friend”” and seeing them as animals - You don’t eat your pet & sort of treat them as family but at the same time you don’t mind eating animals you don’t know. (unless you’re vegan or something)

This is a very selective ‘mercy’ that Ruby is quite right to enraged about; Objectively, Blue Diamond is very hypocritical, cold and disgusting dispite her pretty aristocratic looks and demeanor. But she’s not a 2-dimensional monster and obviosly acts different around her sister than she does around her subjects - and the same goes for Yellow Diamond of course. 

- The Zoo itself underlines this perspectives, with how the CGs see it as a cruelty, the other diamonds see it as a silly eccentric, even endearing quirk of PD’s. There’s a sense that she sorta liked Earth life as a curiosity, but not enough to spare them or see them as people.  So perhaps she and Rose started out on the same page here untiil Rose spent more time with Earth natives. Even she sorta saw them more as a protectorate than she really understood them until greg came.

- Of course, all of this sets up further developements. They are comming for Earth and are going to notice the cluster’s not emerging any time soon, and it will be a tragedy, because they didn’t even come for revenge. It might go the way things went with Eyeball and Jasper. 

In any case it’s obvious that at this point this won’t end with just fighting the Diamonds off, but rather, with homeworld being reformed (which pleases me immensely), clearly, the diamonds can be reasoned with - 

Greg already began to sort of build a bridge by showing blue Diamond that they both have feelings and can be able to share that. 

But we now have the interesting situation that the ostensible weakest link happens to be the exact same person  that Garnet, our leader, has a personal beef with. That makes for interesting dynamics. 

I always praised how she was actually allowed to get angry and be short tempered with Peridot even when she genunely couldn’t have known, instead of having to be a perfect example of virtue all the time, particularly of how victims of real life oppresion or abuse (and what is opression but sanctioned nation wide abuse?) often get told that they have to be perfect before they have a right to complain. We’ve seen her backstory & know that she has every right to be pissed.

But here, it could make things complex. 

That said, the lesson here is not to revile Rose, but see this from a perspective of generations and progress - Because whatever Rose did, it did buy the Earth time and allowed for Greg,  Steven and Amethyst to exist.  

Because Rose and others of her Generation (Pearl, Garnet, Bismuth etc.) were immediately victimzed by the Diamond’s regime, you can hardly ask them to be emphatic towards their opressors - (to an extent, the same can be said for Jasper and Lapis as a clear-cut victims of the rebellion)

I still don’t doubt that Pink Diamond totally had it comming; The Zoo and Pearl’s reactions as she mentions it imply that she was cruel. 

But was killing her the most conductive thing to do for peace? ...Debatable. In many ways the war did harm. But Rose did the best she knew to do. 

For the younger generation, however, things are different - Peridot, Amethyst, and especially the half-human Steven, they can see the whole war with more distance and objectivity. Steven was partially raised in a completely different world and has empathy for both sides, which might lead him to lead a solution that Rose with her baggage couldn’t have enacted.  That’s the whole point of Rose envying human adaptability & having Steven in hopes that he could bridge the gap between gems and organics, as well as heal the wounds of the war. 

Another factor is that technology has advanced and Peridot has made a plan for peaceful ressource sharing that didn’t exist back then - Maybe the combined voices of Steven, Greg and Blue Diamond could finally make YD listen to it. She’s not completely irrational. 

It’s not for nothing that the ones to witness the Diamonds’ vulnerable side are not their former subjects Garnet and Peridot, but the near-complete outsiders Greg and Steven for whom this comes with far less baggage.

- In the end Steven started all this trek because he felt he needed answers - He asked about what happened and what Rose did and why, but ultimately it all comes down to what he should do after the diamonds after learning that the other side is people too, that even they are beloved; In that sense he ‘got what he needed’. 

He’s heard Bismuth and Rose’s followers, he seen how the system hurt his beloved family, but he’s also seen how the rebellion hurt gems like Lapis, Eyeball and Jasper. 

In that sense this ties into the teenage rebellion theme from the beginning, in that he went to look at the evidence with his own eyes & form his own opinion, his own answer. 

[stompsite]

Tomb Raider (2013) just isn’t Tomb Raider

...and it isn't a particularly good game, either.

This is a game that I wanted to like. Legacy of Kain: Defiance was one of the games that left an impact on me when I was younger, so Crystal Dynamics was a name I trusted. I never really played the original Tomb Raider games beyond fucking around in the Lara's mansion training levels, but I liked the concept, so I was really happy to see a good studio remaking it and giving me something less dated to play. I'm pretty sure I caught some footage of it on Conan O'Brien. The hype was real.

I got it when it came out and played it right away. The intro sequence floored me. I remember being blown away by the rain effects in particular. Especially in the context of the time, the game did a lot right. It's not something you can accuse of having low production values, or failing in execution. Everything it tried to do, it did well. It has rather nice combat for a game of this type. It looks pretty, both in terms of raw graphics and aesthetic design. It has at least a few genuinely great gameplay sequences.

Unfortunately, those sequences feel like they were ripped directly from Uncharted, and most of the times the game isn't cribbing from Uncharted's playbook, it's just being awful.

It may seem silly to accuse a game of ripping off a game that ripped off its earlier incarnation, but there are some important differences between the Uncharted and Tomb Raider franchises in tone and identity, if not necessarily in gameplay. Nathan Drake is someone who is carried along by events. He goes on adventures and gets along by the skin of his teeth, having to save the world from some crazy evil guy getting his hands on some vaguely supernatural relic that everyone thought was a treasure... It's madcap. There are practically hijinks. He never really has a plan, he's improvising, there's always time pressure and he's getting captured or dropped out of an airplane or finding some other way to the verge of death at least a couple of times per game.

Lara Croft's not like that.

When I think of Lara Croft, I think of someone who is in control. She's not just poised, she's prepared. She's a professional. She shows up at a fixed destination--a tomb, typically--with everything she needs to, well, raid it. It's not a spontaneous dash against some implacable adversary, it's more like cracking a vault, or planning a heist.

Even if there is time pressure, Lara is composed. She doesn't feel it.

I understand that this is a prequel in a sense, that it's showing a version of Lara before she became the person I'm describing, but it's too far off the character I know to make her even recognizable in anything but appearance. She's constantly being injured. She never has any kind of agency, can never plan anything, and the insane escapes and story-based injuries come so fast the game loses any sense of control and most of its immersion.

The sequence where she's running along the rooftops of a burning building and jumping to safety at the end felt beat-for-beat like one of the earlier set pieces in Uncharted 3, but the difference between Tomb Raider and Uncharted is that Uncharted doesn't take itself that seriously. It's a summer action movie. It passed the point of realism somewhere near the beginning of the second game and never looked back, so sequences like that don't feel out of place there. This, though, is supposed to be a loss-of-innocence story about a girl shipwrecked on an island, in over her head and having to learn to do things she never thought she would have to just to be able to survive.

Like much of this game, it's tonally inconsistent.

Instead of the cheeky banter that makes Uncharted great, most of what we hear are the sounds of Lara getting injured over and over again, to a point that borders on fetishistic; injuries that only get inflicted for story reasons, and rarely seem to have any impact when the next combat scene comes along, or when wading through giant puddles of blood and corpses. Realism needs to be realistic. Absurdism doesn't have to be, but you do need to pick one.

From a gameplay perspective, too, this game suffers when it isn't being Uncharted. The collectibles are some of the most soulless I've ever encountered, comparable with Batman: Arkham Origins. What is the point of picking up GPS caches? Who put them there? It feels like there was meant to be a robust crafting system, but the emphasis on hunting and salvage in the introduction quickly falls away to just another third-person shooter, with added admittedly-excellent bow-shooting.

It feels so empty and artificial to open up a chest and only have gaming abstractions inside. When I raid a tomb, I want to see the treasure I find. I don't want to gain experience to upgrade a freaking skill tree, I want it to feel like it means something. I don't want meaningless collectibles that either don't make in-universe sense or don't have gameplay systems attached to make their flavor mean something scattered across semi-open maps that I have to take breaks from the story to comb through for 20 minutes just to find everything.

In Uncharted, when you find a treasure, you get to see what it is. It's something tangible. It's not just here's some salvage, it's a coin or a pipe or a jade figurine. I know Tomb Raider's relics give us some of that, but there are still boxes and chests full of gaming abstractions just about everywhere, including in the reward chests at the ends of the shitty tacked-on tombs.

In short, this isn't just a game that lost its identity, it's a game that tacked on a bunch of Skinner-box bullshit because they thought gamers liked that and it's what everyone else was doing. There's a lot of good beneath this, but it's buried so deep that I only got glimpses of it. I hear the sequel improved on some of these things, but I haven't gotten to play it yet. I'm optimistic, though.

I hope it lets me play as Lara Croft, not injured humourless Nathan Drake with boobs.

PS: I’m not Doc, I’m a different guy. I’ll be posting here when I have things to say about games and time to say them.

[sleepymarmot]

Twilight Mirage liveblog 3/5 (episodes 28-54)

28-35 

I'm very excited for a series of solo episodes!

Don't know how I feel about the new Grand Magnificent tbh… This concept feels more conventional than the original one, and I'm worried the aspects of his character I found interesting won't be in focus anymore.

I had my problems with the previous system and how it flattened down emotions into inaccurate categories, but so far I'm not excited about the switch… Blades in the Dark's mechanics were kinda hard for me to follow by ear, and being unable to keep track of the gameplay by myself is unpleasant; and the new classes sound really dull compared to the ones in The Veil. 

Iota's speech is strange… It sounds more like a simple copy-paste of real-life colonialism than the invasion described previously in the story. “They will ask you to give them a name like ours, they will ask to touch your bone” etc sounds nothing like Independence and its followers' modus operandi was, and, judging by the future tense, hasn't actually happened with the present time settlers yet – so where did that come from, in-universe? In fact, shouldn't her people have a relatively positive outlook on non-hostile outsiders, since they brought on the planet's golden age? Hopefully the following episodes will elaborate on this, because I've made peace with needing lore or plot points explained to me several times, but I need more clarity on big ideological question like this. 

Gig is such a Chaotic Good!!

Buying sex is legal, normal & common in the utopia and Signet is a regular customer?! Fucking seriously?! I couldn't even focus on the episode for the next half hour and eventually turned it off because my thoughts kept returning to this and I kept seething with anger. Way to ruin the episode after I was so moved and intrigued by the intro…

They've been pretty careful with past spoilers this season, here's I think the first example: talking at length about the Hitchcocks, plural. Sure, it was only an episode three spoiler, but it was such a good reveal! 

So, who actually printed out the ancient Quire people? Was it a political move from one of the sides? 

No Austin you definitely have not mentioned Earth building a giant Dyson spehere around themselves!!! What the fuck :D

Everyone got a nice inconsequential vignette and Fourteen's scene had actual high stakes…

I really, really don't get what Seneschal looks like

After half a season of two separate parties and seven solo episodes it's so nice to hear everyone together!

Signet's look is absolutely not the kind of thing I imagined her wearing…

Please tell me someone has made an animatic about Even's hair tendril high-fiving Gig's eye

36-45 

It's always cute when the first words after the intro are in that specific tone of voice that makes it obvious that at least 5-10 minutes before were spent in a lively conversation about some nonsense that finally was put to an end no more than two seconds ago (and then they talk about nonsense for ten more minutes lol) 

I love this show's dedication to describing everyone's outfits in extreme detail at every opportunity 

50k+ years later it's Art and Jack's turn to be the half of the party who walks right through the door and charm their way in lol. I hope they don't get shot or buy a bunch of torch units or something

I really like “finding a way to help a teenage community fit in the world” and “reconnecting a family and acquiring infrastructure for travel between planets” as the first projects; it really does convince you that these people have set out to make the world a better place (even if a lot of the time is actually spent pulling heists or fighting mechanical tigers).

Okay, the scavenger faction leader is literally a vulture, I get it.

What I don't get is why we are supposed to dislike that faction. There was some general “eh, they suck” said OOC during setup but we haven't actually seen them do anything bad! Show, don't tell! They need to, like, raid Big Garage and try to steal Gumption's arm if you want me to see them as an enemy.

Remember that nonsense I wrote about T. Rex in my C/w notes post? I can't believe they're doing basically the same joke on the actual show!

But how about… not capture or kill… but befriend the Axiom and/or release it into the wild… I know, I know, they can't travel far enough to move it to a safe distance from humans. But it just offends me on principle that after all that talk of diversity etc, when the characters actually meet a truly alien, unique species, they only consider the options of killing or capturing and exploiting them, and nobody even tries to ask “hey, shouldn't these creatures have rights, even if we are forced to disregard them in self-defence for the moment?” You know who I need to appear on screen ASAP? Bounty. Ask it everything! Does it remember being an Axiom? What did it feel like? What does it think about its transformation and new role? 

I thought Grand's special gun was just Even's gun?

Did Janine just call Belgard Signet's “robot wife”? Hell yeah

Me for an hour straight, not having read the description: Blease Do Not Kill My Alien Child I guess that's at least postponed now though… The situation did immediately get mildly creepy again, which makes me concerned. Is this just a different reason to kill a different Axiom – to Free Innocents from a Lotus Eater Machine? I'm getting serious September flashbacks. Honestly, between this, the other team's arc which felt like a crossover about the Chime in Marielda, and everyone getting a personal mech, this half of the season is starting to feel like Counter/weight 2, which is sad because at the beginning the atmosphere was much more original. Also I miss Primary and Satellite's correspondence, it was such a good framing device and a touching relationship at the same time!

Polyphony's powers and way of thinking are more similar to Quire than anything else

I feel very relieved and vindicated by the direction this story took!

Hell yeah finally more about the Waking Cadent!! I've been waiting for that for how many episodes now? Now that we've seen her in person I hate her actually Amend that, I hate both Cadents. A plague on both their houses!

46-54

Good on you Even, what's even the point of a military background if you don't pull rank on some jerks

Am I glad to hear from the Rapid Evening again! Bold of Austin to assume we could forget who Primary and Satellite were Okay, I first had this question a ton of episodes ago, but now it is relevant again: does Grey know the contents of the previous Satellite's final message? She knows about its existence because the numbers match up (yeah I went back and checked), but does she know that Crystal Palace either made a colossal miscalculation about Independence's route or lied on purpose for some reason?

Wait, characters still have beliefs? I don't remember this coming up since the game change

I completely forgot about Tender's cyborg legs and also misheard “I have a fake leg” as “thick leg” and was like “Uh good for you but how's that gonna help?!”

Once again, Team Exploration goes ahead and leaves Team Heist without resources lol. What do you mean they're using our ship for an orbital drop? What do you mean they've taken all axiom scanners? :D Seriously though, it's a shame that the sessions were played in this order because in-universe I see no reason why they wouldn't say “Hey before you go after Acre Seven, let's fly over Terncage and do a scan real quick” (the range on the scanners is far enough for that, right?)

I don't get how Ache works. For Quire, it made what it wishes it could be, but for everyone else it just made evil clones vaguely themed after their regrets?

TENDER IS A GAY DISASTER I haven't heard such a spectacular meltdown since Calhoun probably, holy shit

TENDER IS A DISASTER SQUARED she starts talking to a woman and just doesn't stop! This is a great episode

I like how Gig immediately says no to the devil's bargain

Oh Signet disregarding the digital Blooming, you clearly haven't seen/read (the future version of) Solaris :D

Oh no, it's the Smiling God! Came to visit another podcast that used to have a personification of capitalism as a big boss evil god

A crit at the last possible moment, after a long string of 1s… Ali's dice see through the fourth wall!

I… didn't fully understand the reveal of how it was all connected

Okay, so the Dark Day could have been prevented by keeping the gun dealer priest alive and allowing him to arm the NEH so that it could take over Twilight Mirage and wouldn't need to activate plan B i.e. come here and block signal from the Crystal Palace? Correct? It makes sense now, but Our Profit seems to be from such a far future that I just can't imagine how this plan was created and put in place

O….k… I actually expected Grand to leave the team and go off on his own (or become an NPC) as a consequence of the holiday special if he was the sacrificed character instead of the Chthonic. But now that's kind of strange to hear after all that talk of redemption and second chances?

You get a status! And you get a status! Everyone gets a status!

Wow having a near death experience out of the blue is so relaxing for Fourteen! :D NEVER MIND HOLY CRAP I'm glad that at least Fourteen kept their signature move from The Veil. I was wondering what it would be like, and honestly expected it to be just thrown out

Excuse me, “Omega in Mass Effect 2” and “cool place run by trustworthy people” are literally opposite concepts, have we even played the same game

Grand: Who likes Fourteen Fifteen? Tender, not even letting him finish: ME!!! 

Welp, my first guess about the Waking Cadent's identity was correct

Holy crap! I never realized Independence was in that one flashback episode of Counter/weight