#like the only thing I've kept up with was the dentist and even that i have let slide like the last two years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mushiewrites · 4 months

Text

Say Aaaah!

so about a year ago, @fluffallamaful + I talked about one of the weirdest ideas I think I've ever brainrotted. we told @wishitweresummer, and since then, she has been begging me to write it. and now here we are, a year later and deep into lee!George week, and I decided to finally write the idea for her! this is 100% for summer, and I'm so excited for everyone to read the silliest and most ridiculous fic I've ever written! (and thank you to @awkwardtickleetoo for helping me with the title and reading it as always)

don't forget to check out this tag to see all of the amazing additions to lee!GeorgeSummer, and you can find out more about the prompts in this post!

anyway, enjoy Day 6 of lee!George week! :3

(lee!George / ler!Sapnap / ler!Dream : 4.2K words)

“George, you’ve been here for like, two years now, right?”

The question cut through the quiet atmosphere of the living room, only being previously filled by random videos that Dream and George kept showing each other as they sat practically in each other’s laps on the L-shaped couch. George turned his attention to Sapnap, who was sitting on the opposite side of the couch with Patches propped up against his thigh, his hand dragging lightly over her head as she purred happily.

“Yeah, you know this…why? You want me to go back already?” George huffed out a laugh, raising an eyebrow as Sapnap snorted at his question.

“Well yes, but that’s not what I was gonna say.”

“Okay, then what?” George asked suspiciously, never fully trusting Sapnap when he’s asking for information. There was always an underlying purpose, never questioning things just for the hell of it. George knew he had some kind of angle behind his curiosity, he just didn’t know where Sapnap was going with it.

“You haven’t been to any doctors since you’ve been here, have you?” Sapnap leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees and folding his fingers together, careful not to disturb Patches as he did so.

“Wait, really?” Dream questioned from beside him, watching as George shrugged at the two with little care.

“Yeah, I guess I haven’t,” George looked between the two, confused at the way they were both staring at him. “What’s the big deal? I’m fine, there hasn’t been anything wrong.”

“Well yeah, but normally you’re supposed to go for a check-up at least once a year to make sure everything is working okay.” Dream commented, turning his body towards Sapnap as he turned to him for validation in his words.

“Mhm! Or…at least to the dentist for a cleaning, you know?” Sapnap added, nodding his head to let Dream know he agreed. Dream nodded along with Sapnap, looking to George to see if he was even still paying attention. To his surprise he was, nodding slightly before looking down at his own hands, playing with his fingers as a distraction.

“I guess so, but like, it’s fine! I don’t need to go right now,” George continued to fidget with his fingers, waiting for one of the other two to speak, but he was met with a silence that felt too awkward for him to not continue. “I mean, if somethings wrong I’ll go, but like…it’s fine for now. Let’s just drop it.”

“George,” He heard Dream start, almost wincing at how gentle his voice was. “You aren’t scared of the doctors, are you?” George stayed quiet, refusing to make eye contact with either of them as he kept his mouth shut in a tight line. After a few more seconds of silence, Sapnap cackled from across the room.

“Are you serious?! Georgie is scared of the big bad doctor? Of the mean, evil dentist? No way!”

“Sapnap-” Dream tried to stop the teasing before it went any further, but Sapnap continued to yell out comments in disbelief.

“This is too good! Little baby George is scawed!” Sapnap fell back into the couch, his arms crossing over his stomach as he did and scaring Patches in the process. She jumped down onto the floor, quickly sprinting out of the room as Sapnap’s laugh grew louder. George rolled his eyes at the sound, letting out an annoyed grunt as he too flopped back against the couch cushions. Dream reached a hand out and placed it gently on his knee, rubbing his thumb soothingly as he looked down at him.

“It’s okay, George, don’t listen to him. Everyone’s scared of something.” George rolled his eyes again at how supportive Dream was, almost more annoyed with him just accepting that George was scared of something so silly.

“I’m not scared!” He exclaimed suddenly, standing up from the couch and pacing around the living room with a hand flinging roughly through his hair. He turned towards Sapnap, throwing his arms up in the air as he shrugged. “It's just…I get nervous going to new people, okay? It’s just like, an anxiety thing, I don’t know! But I’m not! Scared!”

Dream stood up and walked to where George was standing, placing his hands on either shoulder and leading George back to the couch to sit down. George was blushing profusely, embarrassed at the way the conversation was going as Sapnap continued to laugh and make snide comments about how scared he was. While he was deep in thought, Sapnap suddenly gasped, shooting up to a standing position and marching himself over to where George was sitting on the edge of the couch.

“Wait. I have an amazing idea.”

“Oh no.” George sighed, leaning his elbows on his knees and letting his head fall into his hands, shaking his head in disapproval as he waited for Sapnap to continue. It was clear Sapnap was waiting for someone to ask, but George wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction.

“What?” Dream pressed further for him, equally as curious as George was.

“So, it’s kind of like-” Sapnap began, suddenly grabbing onto George’s arms and pulling him from the couch. He wrestled the older boy onto the floor, giggling maniacally as it took virtually no effort to take him down. George let out a shriek as Sapnap got him onto his back, straddling his waist quickly and pressing his wrists into the carpet below him.

“Get off me, idiot!” George choked out, trying to fling himself forward as he kicked his feet against the ground. Sapnap continued to laugh at his struggle, shaking his head as he kept George down easily.

“George, we’re gonna help you get over your fears! We’re gonna play doctor!” Sapnap exclaimed, looking up at Dream and giggling when he was met with a bright smile. George let out a strained grunt as he tried to buck his hips up, gaining leverage as he pressed his heels into the carpet to assist in his efforts. It failed, naturally, and Sapnap laughed in his face at his pathetic attempt.

“Stohop!” George couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, letting his head fall back against the carpet with a hard thud. He pulled his arms as much as he could, continuing to kick and push up with his legs to try and buck Sapnap off, but he was getting nowhere.

“Dream, I’m gonna need a hand holding down our patient, here. He’s very nervous and needs all the help he can get to make sure he’s relaxed!” Sapnap spoke over George’s protests, giggling as he thrashed around on the carpet like a fish out of water.

“Sure thing, doctor!” Dream responded as a soldier would, giving Sapnap a quick salute with his hand to his forehead before jumping into action. Before George could process what was happening, Sapnap’s weight was replaced with Dream’s, effectively halting his bottom half from squirming. He lifted himself up onto his elbows and was met with the sight of Dream’s back, staring daggers into the blonde curls through his panicked laughter as much as he could. It was then that he saw Sapnap peek around from behind Dream, clearly kneeling in front of George’s feet and giving him a wink before he hid back behind the wall that Dream’s body created between the two. He watched as Dream leaned forward, feeling a strong grip around both of his ankles that pressed them into the ground enough that he could barely wiggle them. This only intensified the building butterflies that were swirling around George’s stomach, and a new wave of nervous giggles began pouring out of him before he could hold them back.

“S-Stop! You’re both being ridiculous!” George yelled at them both, not knowing if they were even listening over the two speaking to each other in hushed tones, careful to not let him hear what they were saying.

“Oh wait!” Sapnap exclaimed suddenly, pouncing up from the ground and sprinting towards the steps. “I need to grab…things!”

Dream shook his head slowly as he giggled, watching Sapnap use all fours to crawl up the steps quickly, as if he were an excited puppy going to fetch a toy. George watched Sapnap too, but kept his peripherals glued on Dream, carefully watching him to make sure he wasn’t going to do anything to catch him off guard. The two sat and listened to Sapnap rummaging through things upstairs, hearing the thud of his footsteps as he ran in and out of rooms to collect the items he was looking for. The longer it took, the more nervous George got.

“What is he even doing up there?” George mumbled quietly to himself, not expecting an answer from Dream. He was pleasantly surprised when the blonde spoke up.

“To be honest, I’m actually not sure. He didn’t tell me anything before he ran up the steps like a gremlin,” He chuckled, craning his neck to look back at George, temporarily releasing his ankles so he could shake them out if he needed to. “You doin’ okay back there?”

“Just dandy.” George replied flatly, fighting a smile when his wording made Dream giggle. He brought both hands up to card through his hair, attempting to settle his nerves, when he heard quick footsteps approaching closer. The two turned their attention to the upstairs hallway once more, watching as Sapnap appeared at the top of the steps, not even stopping to slow his momentum as he practically flew down the steps.

“Okay! I have my tool kit ready!” Sapnap spoke through his heavy breathing, winded from the speed he had been running around. George observed a black drawstring bag before it was quickly hidden from his view, letting out a sigh of relief when he noticed how empty it looked. He still had no clue what the two were planning, but he knew whatever it was, it wasn’t going to be good.

“So change of plans,” He leaned to the side so George could see him once he knelt down onto the ground again, smirking wickedly as he spoke. “I couldn’t find anything that really screamed out ‘doctor’ to me-“

“Good.” George interrupted, earning a hard flick to the side of his right ankle before they were engulfed in large hands once more. Dream pushed them down with a little more pressure, leaning more of his weight into the hold to assure George wouldn’t budge.

“Buuuuut, I did find things to make us dentists!” He exclaimed happily, watching as George’s expression dropped and eyes widened.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” George let his head thump back against the carpet, bringing the heels of his hands up to rub harshly at his eyes when Sapnap snuck back around to hide in front of Dream.

“Nope! This is no joke, Georgie. We’re gonna help you face your fears!” Sapnap replied as he emptied the contents of the bag, a few things clanging together as he did so. George heard Dream gasp quietly and watched his shoulders scrunch up, seeing his bouncy curls move from side to side as Dream silently reprimanded the younger boy.

“What? What is it?!” George blurted out in a panic at Dream’s reaction, his stomach doing somersaults at all the possibilities of what Sapnap could’ve put in the so called “tool kit”.

“Nothing to be afraid of!” Dream quickly assured him, hearing the frantic tone of George’s voice and wanting to comfort him before his mind could run rampant.

“Well…” George heard Sapnap scoff quietly, sending his thoughts spiraling once again.

“Wh- HEY!” George squealed when he felt a finger flick the bottom of his socked foot, moving to pull it away. He felt a deep dread spread throughout his body when he realized that his feet wouldn’t budge at all, and panicked giggles began to flow from him before he was even touched again.

“Gosh, you are nervy, aren’t you, kitten?” Sapnap wondered out loud, tracing his pointer finger down both feet slowly to make George squirm. He applied more pressure as he traced back up to his toes, pinching each one lightly and smirking when George hollered out at the feeling.

“Plehease! Don’t do this!” He pleaded with the two, but was met with no response. George jolted his body upwards when Sapnap added a finger to each foot, now tracing up and down with two fingers and using more of his nails on the down strokes to make George’s laughter jump in pitch.

“It’s okay, we’re just helping!” Dream tried to comfort him through his squeals, giggling himself when Sapnap’s fingers traced under George’s toes, making him shriek. Just when it was starting to become bearable, his stomach dropped when he felt a finger dip into the top of each sock, slowly prying them off.

“NO! Nononono, no! Please! Plehehease don’t!” George begged, curling his toes to try and grip onto the fabric of his socks as they were pulled off at an agonizingly slow pace. He could feel the air hit his heels, then his arches, and finally over the pads of his feet. George panicked, sitting up and gripping onto Dream’s sides, kneading into them like his life depended on it.

“GEORGE!” Dream cried out, letting go of his ankles in favor of gripping George’s wrists, pulling them away from his body as he caught his breath from the sudden tickle attack. Sapnap appeared next to George, taking his wrists from Dream so he could go back to securing his ankles before he caused too much of a mess.

“Tsk tsk tsk. Naughty boy,” Sapnap shook his head in disappointment, pushing George’s hands against his own chest to make him fall back against the carpet before pressing them down against the ground on either side of his hips. “Dream, lift your shins for me, will you?” Dream looked back at Sapnap with slight confusion, leaning forward a bit more until he was able to angle his shins up off the ground. When Sapnap placed George’s hands directly under them, Dream suddenly understood. He dropped his legs quickly, making sure to sit back on his shins to keep George’s wrists secure.

“This isn’t fair! Stohohop!” George whined as Sapnap crawled back in front of his feet, disappearing behind Dream once again. “Come on! I told you, I’m not scared! We don’t have to dohoho this!” His pleas were ignored, and the plan continued.

“So what do we have here, mister dentist?” Dream asked Sapnap playfully, looking down at the tools displayed between George’s spread ankles.

“Well, first, let’s get a good look at these teeth!” Sapnap responded with the same amount of enthusiasm, quickly ripping off George’s socks and flinging them behind him somewhere across the room. George immediately curled his toes when he felt the air hit them, high pitched giggles bubbling out of him as he tried to control his reactions. He felt Sapnap pinch each one again, this time wiggling them as he went and making George squeak every time his nail scraped the pads of them.

“Plehehease! This is soho dumb!” George pulled at his arms, trying to yank them free, but Dream’s weight kept them pressed into the floor. Frustratingly, all he could really do was twist his upper body and move his head; not nearly enough give to expel any of his anxiety.

“Hm…seems like they’re in good shape. Could use a cleaning though.” He heard Dream comment, making his stomach flip as his brain tried to figure out what they could possibly do to him.

“Great idea, my beautiful assistant!” George could hear the smile in his voice, squeezing his eyes shut at how excited he sounded. Suddenly he heard a click, followed by a loud buzzing, and he immediately knew what it was. He curled his toes even tighter as he began spurting out pleas, saying anything to get their attention to make them stop. Sapnap peaked over Dream’s shoulder and gave George a wink before going back to work, bringing the toothbrush down closer to the practically immobile feet in front of him.

“The patient seems ready for the cleaning, so we’re going to proceed!”

George let out a blood curdling scream when a vibrating toothbrush touched down on both of his pinky toes, not expecting two of them at the same time and sending him into a frenzy. He squeezed his eyes shut as his head flung back, cackling as Sapnap moved the brushes over to the next toe on each foot. Despite curling them as hard as he could, Sapnap managed to wedge them under his toes anyway, making sure to get the tops and the bottoms of each toe as he went.

“FUHUCK, PLEHEASE!” George managed to cry out between his panic, shaking his head back and forth as he laughed himself silly. Sapnap didn’t respond, simply commenting on how clean his ‘teeth’ looked as he made his way over George’s middle toe on either foot. The toothbrushes moved to the second toes and George screeched, high pitched and loud, begging them to stop, to not go to his big toes, that he’d do anything they wanted as long as they left them alone. But to his dismay, Sapnap moved the dreaded toothbrushes over each big toe, swirling them in slow circles and sending George into hysterics.

“Holy shit.” Dream spoke lowly as he watched the torture Sapnap was forcing George to endure. Sapnap looked up at Dream and chuckled when he noticed the faint blush appearing on his cheeks, and Dream huffed in annoyance at the smirk he received in response.

“Almost done with the cleaning! Just a little more, I promise!” Sapnap peeked around Dream again, taking in George’s panicked thrashing and screams at the simple tickling on the tiny toes. He leaned back to sit on his shins as he turned the toothbrushes off, allowing George a moment to collect himself and steady his breathing.

“P-Plehehease…” George was delirious with laughter at this point, still in near hysterics even though the tickling had stopped. Sapnap rubbed his thumbs over the tingly toes, making sure to rub with enough pressure to help rub the ghost tickles away. Once George’s laughter had settled down to quiet giggles, Sapnap let his fingers wander, gently pressing them in the spaces between his toes. George let out a squawk at the feeling, and immediately he was begging again.

“NONONO nohoho! No more! Nohoho more!” George pleaded, trying to bend his knees under Dream to knock him off and whining through his laughter when he didn’t budge at all. He was yanking at his arms so hard he thought he might dislocate them, and he cursed both boys for keeping him down like this while they played with him like a doll.

“I’m just checking for cavities! Hold still!” Sapnap explained, using one hand to steady George’s left foot as he pushed his finger between each toe, twisting it as he did. George was beside himself with laughter, feeling tears well as Sapnap continued his search for whatever he was looking for. He finished with the left foot, skittering fingers over the top of it to make George squeal.

“Okay, that one looks great! Now we have to check the other one, and then we’re all done!” Sapnap reassured George, gripping the right foot the same way he did the left, shoving his finger between the last two toes and giggling when George let out a squeak in response. It went smoothly between the next two toes, and the next, until Sapnap shoved his finger between the first and second toes. He stopped twisting his fingers, and instead used both hands to spread them apart.

“STOP!” George shrieked out in embarrassment, knowing how intensely Sapnap and Dream must be looking at his foot right now. The two laughed at his outburst, but changed nothing about what they were doing.

“No can do, Georgie,” Sapnap pretended to speak with fake sympathy, sighing before he continued. “I’m afraid we’ve found a cavity.” The comment sent George into a further panic, now struggling even harder than before, nearly lifting Dream with the ticklish adrenaline that was coursing through him.

“What do we do for that, mister dentist?” Dream asked over George’s screaming, looking back briefly to see how hard he was blushing. He knew this kind of play always got to George, never knowing how to handle all the attention.

“Well, there’s really only one thing we can do,” Sapnap explained, rustling around with something that George couldn’t see. “We have to floss.”

“WHAT?!”

Before George could question any further, he felt Sapnap weaving something between all of the toes on his right foot, even between the toes that Sapnap deemed to be okay not even a moment before. The feeling of whatever the weird string was just sitting between them was enough to make George laugh even harder, not being used to having something in such a sensitive area. George was babbling out pleas but nothing was coherent. His words were slurred together through his laughter despite him trying to articulate the best he could. Sapnap and Dream only laughed at him before turning back to the task at hand.

“Don’t worry, patient! Your cavity will be fixed soon enough!” Dream called over his shoulder, not even sure if George was able to hear him, but deciding to continue playing his role anyway. George didn’t respond, not sure he was even able if he wanted. When he was finally getting used to the sensation, his whole body shook with ticklish electricity as the material started to move.

“NAHAHAHA!” George was full on screaming through his hysterics, taking in quick gulps of air as his lungs harshly pushed out laugh after laugh. He was lightheaded; so much so, it was as if he would float away. George continued to shake, squirming back and forth on the carpet at the overwhelming ticklish feeling. Sapnap continued to saw the material back and forth between his toes, laughing along at how insane George’s reactions were. Neither boy had ever heard George laugh this hard or loud, and they exchanged surprised glances every few seconds, especially whenever a new noise or high pitched squeak would present itself through the hysterics.

“Almost done, it’ll be over soon, George!” Dream assured him as he continued to struggle, his throat becoming more and more dry the harder he laughed. George eventually fell silent, only producing high pitched squeals and squeaks whenever he was able to get a full breath in. His face was burning, his cheeks bright red with tears covering them from how hard he was laughing. After a few seconds, the feeling finally stopped, and Sapnap quickly removed the tickly material from between George’s toes to finally relieve him of the torture.

“Plehehease!” George was unable to stop the word from tumbling out despite the tickling having stopped, completely out of his mind at the intense tickling feeling he just endured. Dream sat forward to free George’s wrists and moved his hands from George’s ankles to his feet, opting to rub over his toes as Sapnap began to put the items back into the bag. Dream continued to rub soothingly over both feet, making sure to help the ticklish feeling pass as quickly as it could.

“W-What…the fuhuhuck…was that?” George forced the question through his shallow breathing, bringing his hands up to rub his tear stained cheeks and free the stray tears that clung to his long eyelashes. He opened his eyes briefly when he felt something glide over his right hand, looking down to see Sapnap holding a long, white string.

“Shoelace!” He beamed, a huge smile spreading over his face as he showed George what he just tormented him with. George groaned through the left over giggles, covering his face in embarrassment as his mind replayed the last few minutes over and over again. Dream moved off of George’s waist, turning to face him before sitting by his side. He gently grabbed both of George’s wrists and gave them each a kiss before placing them in his lap, tracing over them to make sure they were okay after being restrained, and also from how hard George had been pulling at them.

“You okay, baby?” Dream asked softly, letting his hands run down over George’s forearms and back up to his wrists. George closed his eyes again, turning on his side and curling his body towards Dream’s, letting his forehead connect with his thigh before nodding slowly. The blonde moved one of his hands to scratch lightly over his bicep, letting the other run through his hair to help bring him back down to reality. Sapnap pulled the string of the bag tightly, closing it and slinging it over his shoulder, getting ready to stand up from his place opposite Dream, on the other side of George. But before he could, he felt a tight grip on his wrist, keeping him down on the ground with the other two. “So,” George began after finally getting his breathing under control, sitting up slowly and turning his attention to Sapnap. “When’s the last time you were at the dentist?”

#lee!george #ler!sapnap #ler!dream #hehe yaaaay this is ridiuclous but its fun!#very very silly behavior here #also i know george got a shot in his ass but we're gonna ignore that <3 #mushie fics #mcyt tickle #my stuff #lee!GeorgeSummer

33 notes · View notes

helix-enterprises117 · 7 months

Text

Halo Reloaded: That Boy From Eridanus-II

In the minimalist confines of the Spartan-II Training Facility on Reach, Linda-058, barely a decade old and already more disciplined than most adults, was about to have a chat with her folks. The room was as inviting as a dentist’s chair, with its drab grey walls and the only decoration being the vid-call screen - a digital window to a world that seemed more fantasy than memory.

The screen sputtered to life, and there they were, Mr. and Mrs. Pravdin. Mom's eyes were like high-beams in the fog, wide and worried. Dad was doing his best 'I'm not worried' face, which fooled absolutely no one.

"Oh my stars, Linda!" Mom practically squeaked. "Are you eating enough? You look thin!"

Linda rolled her eyes, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. "Mom, they feed us, like, all the time. I've had more protein bars than I can count."

Dad chimed in, his voice trying to be casual and failing. "We heard about Eridanus-II. Horrible news, just horrible." The room suddenly felt colder, and Linda's smile faded. "Yeah, it's... bad." She swallowed hard, the weight of the news still heavy in her heart.

Mom leaned closer to the screen, her voice dropping to a whisper. "And John? That boy from Eridanus-II, how is he?"

Linda glanced over her shoulder, half-expecting to see John's ghost. "He's... um, not great. He's locked himself in his room. Won't come out, not even for extra dessert night."

Dad's brow knitted together, a mix of sadness and confusion. "Can't they do something for him? A psychologist or something?"

Linda shrugged, feeling helpless. "They say he needs time. But I don't know... he's really sad."

The conversation meandered through updates on Linda's life - how she could do twenty push-ups now, and how Chief Mendez always smelled like old socks. But her thoughts kept drifting back to John, holed up in his room like a hermit crab.

As the call wrapped up, Mom's face softened. "Sweetie, look after yourself. And... maybe try to get John to eat something. A chocolate bar works wonders."

Linda's grin returned, a little spark of mischief in her eyes. "I'll try, Mom. Operation Chocolate is a go."

The screen blinked off, and the room was swallowed by silence. Linda stood up, stretched, and made her way to John's quarters. She had a mission now - Operation Chocolate, a mission of utmost importance and deliciousness.

She found John's door and it hissed open, revealing a scene that was part gloomy cave, part boy's bedroom. John was there, sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at a photo of a place that no longer existed.

Linda marched in, armed with a chocolate bar like it was Excalibur. "Commander John, I have been sent on a critical mission to deliver this." She held out the chocolate bar with all the seriousness of a knight presenting a holy relic.

John looked up, his eyes wet but a ghost of a smile on his face. "Is that... chocolate?"

"Yep, and it's all yours, Captain," Linda replied, her voice a mix of cheer and sympathy.

John took the chocolate, and for a moment, they just sat there, two kids in a world too big and too cruel, finding solace in the simplest of things - friendship and chocolate.

#halo #halo fanfic #halo fanfiction #master chief fanfiction #master chief #master chief fanfic #john 117 #halo headcanon #halo au #john 117 x linda 058 #linda 058 #halo reloaded

19 notes · View notes

https-eonsadrift-com · 2 years

Text

SAGAU! concept of mine

[This is made bc i have an older brother, and i've connected the dots before i fell asleep so i don't know if this would turn out good or nah.. ]

Once you falls into the world full of fantasies or what so called- Teyvat, you have found people that admit or just went disbelief concerning your existence

Well everything just make sense, but one problem is, the only clue you understand about yourself as a people rehorn in Teyvat, is,

"Welcome the Creator : Moon"

What is that even mean? If you're moon, then could it be there is a 'creator : Sun' out there or something? Or 'the creator : Earth'? You don't even know...

In the first place, you want to know who you are as now you exist on Teyvat, but in order to know who you are, you must gain the privilege of not being hunted by people who don't like or believe your existence on Teyvat

Some archons just don't accepting you living on Teyvat, just count Barbatos, Morax, Baal, Focalors..

But Buer and Tsaritsa is welcoming you well, as far as you know

Before starting with knowing archons opinion and decides who's allies and who's not, you have a little connections around Teyvat, count it Albedo, Eula from Mondstadt

Kazuha, Beidou, Shenhe from Liyue

Itto and the gank, and kamisato's from Inazuma

Wanderer, Dehya and Candace from Sumeru..

And the rest of People on Snezhnaya, of course (lol)

And after Buer accepting your presence, all people of Sumeru also welcoming you since the Dendro Archon are sure have reasons on what is wrong and what is right.

And after you done with the beginning of getting used with the nature of Teyvat, a big news coming around

Another creator calling themself as the sun just arrived and being kept and Liyue

Of course, this catch your eyes, will this people's arrival will explain what the hell is happening? So you, Buer and The Tsaritsa trying the best to contact the so called 'The Creator : Sun'

It does take long for all of you, but all of that hard works makes something..!

With the approval of all the seven Archons, you with the rest of Archons can have a meeting with the new Creator

You are scared, you are curious, you are excited.

There's a thousand possibilities that'll happen on the meeting on Liyue, you could be threatened, you could have safety, you could have answers, you could have problems.

Everything is possible.

Once you arrived, you feel a rage burning when you saw the Creator for the first time..

Without any other thought crossing your mind, you slapped the Creators face, his face grows red quickly after.

As tears rolling down your cheeks... His face widened to see the tears and grab your shoulder tightly

"Sis, is that.. You? By the way, ouch. "

Hearing that voice, your eyes widened, is that him? Is that really him? Cause its just no way. No way, anything could happen but him appearing in front of you.

"Yeah, so what? You're going to throw sandals at me like you used to? "

You answered with a shaking voice, your body couldn't hold the pressure of your own emotions anymore, everything feels so unreal for you

"Wish i could have one in my hand right now, stupid. "

"Hah, go make one, brother. "

You are the moon, and your brother is the sun

That'll explains thing, many things to be exact..

Now with the explanation shows up, all the people of Teyvat could finally relaxed after the big conflict that has been going for quite some time back then

Now, with you both known as the creator, what would your daily activities will be?

[Im sorry if its poorly made, i'm on the dentist right now *lazyly sobs]

[Oh yeah, and i'll explain what is you and your brother role and both of your jobs, so we can keep up with the plot]

#genshin fanfic #genshin impact #genshin scenario #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin angst #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanons #genshin cult #genshin sagau #sagau #genshin x reader #genshin x you #Sei's page

114 notes · View notes

jinkoh · 1 year

Text

marriage material

jinho x fem reader

summary: jinho just really wants to marry you

Tags: established relationship, domestic fluff, SFW; word count: 948

a/n: and if writing silly little joji drabbles is my new favorite thing to do what then

Masterlist

Jinho had always just assumed he would eventually get married. But it'd always just been that, an assumption, a distant idea. Ever since things had gotten more serious with you though, he found himself thinking about it more often. It suddenly seemed like a real possibility, especially now that you'd already moved in together. When you shuffled into the kitchen in the morning, thanking him for making breakfast with a sleepy smile, he couldn't help but think that he wanted to marry you. When he came home to you doing dishes, humming contently as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, he felt that you pretty much already were married in every way except on paper. To him it was just a question of time until the two of you would make it official.

Maybe he even called you his wife in secret sometimes, smiling to himself at the thought of it. He wasn't going to admit that to you though. Maybe he'd tell you on your wedding night, but for now it was a secret he'd keep close to his heart.

Or at least that was his plan.

Thoughts of marriage had been ghosting around in his head for a few weeks already when he received an invitation for his high school reunion. He'd only kept in touch with a handful of people and even among those were a bunch he hadn't seen in a while so it seemed like good timing. Maybe he was also just a little curious what everyone was up to. He asked you if you wanted to come along pretty much the moment he received the invitation—both because it seemed more fun to take you along and because he wanted to share this with you, let you take a glimpse at the person he'd been in high school and the people he'd surrounded himself with. And maybe, just maybe he also wanted to show you off a bit in front of his old classmates, bragging about the amazing person he was dating.

The evening went fine, he connected with old friends and you seemed to be having fun too. To his displeasure, some of his classmates couldn't resist the opportunity to tell you embarrassing high school stories about him—when he saw you giggling, asking "Really?" with glistening eyes he couldn’t even be all that mad about it though.

Everyone really seemed to like you—of course they did, you were you after all—and Jinho couldn’t help feeling a little possessive. He didn't say anything, but he was already looking forward to driving home and having you all to himself again.

He was a little lost in thought, thinking about just that, when someone called out to him.

"Jinho!" The guy smiled widely and it took Jinho a second to recognize him. It was a guy from another class he'd occasionally hung out with. Back then he'd had a huge gap between his front teeth which Jinho had always thought of as somewhat charming, but it seemed he'd had a dentist take care of it since then.

"Hey, it's been a while."

"It has!" He seemed absolutely ecstatic to see Jinho again. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been pretty well. What about you?"

Before the guy replied though, you approached the two of them, looping your arm with Jinho's.

"Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt," you quickly apologized when you noticed the break in the conversation.

They guy didn't seem to be all that bothered though, instead letting his gaze wander between you and Jinho and wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ooh, who's this?"

"That's y/n, my wife," Jinho automatically replied, only realizing what he'd said when he saw your head snapping to him from his peripheral vision. His cheeks were heating up with embarrassment but he hoped it didn’t show. Pretending not to have noticed his mistake he just smiled and nodded when the guy congratulated the both of you. Surely, if he ignored it you would ignore it too, right?

Wrong. The moment the door of your apartment closed behind the two of you, you looked at him with a wide grin.

"Your wife, huh?"

"Oh, come on," he rolled his eyes, a weak attempt at hiding how flustered he felt. "It's basically the same thing."

You slipped out of your shoes and coat and walked past him into your living room.

"Mhm, sure," It was clear from your tone that you were teasing him, but before he could complain though, you turned around to him again, with a cheeky smile.

"If you say so, husband."

"H- what?" Jinho stared at you with wide eyes, not quite knowing what to say. He probably shouldn't have felt so flustered about you calling him that, after all you were just joking. But it just sounded so good.

He shook himself out of it, quickly averting his gaze and focusing on getting his coat off instead.

"Don't call me that."

"Why? I thought it was basically the same thing?"

"That was—different!"

You weren’t going to let him off yet though, stepping back into the hallway and wrapping your arms around him, your chin resting on his shoulder as you looked at him.

"How was it different?"

Jinho still couldn't meet your gaze, his heart racing in his chest and his cheeks still hot.

"Just was," he mumbled, the pout audible in his voice.

"Do you really not want me to call you that? Do you really not like it?"

"Stop joking already."

"What if I'm not joking?"

At your words he finally turned to look at you, your face incredibly close to his. "What are you saying?"

"Aren't we basically already married? All but on paper?"

He couldn’t contain the happy smile tugging at his lips. "That's a terrible way to propose."

"Mhm," you replied with a grin, before leaving a peck on his cheek, "then do it better, husband."

Masterlist

#jinho x reader #pentagon x reader #pentagon scenarios #pentagon imagines #pentagon headcanons #pentagon reactions #pentagon fluff #jinho fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop headcanons #pentagon #pentagon drabble #pentagon fic #kebbis.writing

37 notes · View notes

icecreamsocialanxiety · 1 year

Text

Silly Lily Chronicles!

['Cuz it's not romantic, I swear! I'm not gasping for air!]

A series of small moments in the office and farther on; from Boris and Kamal's lives pre-Habitat starting from the first time they shook one another's hands.

If they only knew how much they'd influence each other in the coming years in "Forsooth", the musty two-story clinic just down the street...

In their small town of hilltops: Columba Hills, Wyoming.

Originally posted on AO3, circa 2022

Volume 1: Prologue (2023 Revision)

Holy cow! I think I've got one here

Now just what I am supposed to do?

I've got a number of irrational fears...

That I'd like to share with you-u-u~

First, there's rules about old goats like me Hanging around with dudes like you

But I do like you and another one:

You say 'like' too much....

['Cuz it's not romantic, I swear! I'm not gasping for air!]

Volume 1: Prologue

A series of small moments in the office and farther on; from Boris and Kamal's lives pre-Habitat starting from the first time they shook one another's hands.

If they only knew how much they'd influence each other in the coming years in "Forsooth", the musty two-story clinic just down the street...

In their small town of hilltops: Columba Hills, Wyoming.

Originally posted on AO3

Holy cow! I think I've got one here

Now just what am I supposed to do?

I've got a number of irrational fears...

That I'd like to share with you-u-u~

First, there's rules about old goats like me

Hanging around with dudes like you

But I do like you and another one:

You say 'like' too much....

October 13, 1988. Bora Residence.

He was late!!

Good gravy, of course he was! You know, for the ONE THING he was studying at least 8 or 10 years at medical school to go to?! He couldn't even remember he was so late! Honestly, man! He'd be late to his own funeral! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Kamal practically fell out of bed this morning once he opened his eyes to how high the sun was! Did he forget to set the alarm!?!? He went to bed at 11, it wasn't even that late! 8:30 on the alarm clock was burned in his mind as his throat went all cold turning the knob and booking it out the door.

What was he even doing yesterday evening? Surely it wasn't more important than setting his alarm!

He paced around feverishly to look for his hairbrush. Should he brush his teeth? Probably. Ugh, but not before breakfast, he needs SOMETHING or he'll pass out!

"OOF!"

...Oh don't tell him he just passed out already!

No, he actually just tripped over a closed comic book in bursting out of his bedroom door. More specifically, his Doremon manga. Then it came to him. He was rereading this issue again yesterday.

That silly little kid's comic book he kept reading...just to feel some sort of release in the amount of mental preparation in becoming a real doctor. A dentist. Was he ready for this? Considering how much he wasn't aware of the real world? He could hear his old man and ma getting on his case now to "act his age".

He was hugging his knees again. Agh, he was so totally getting ahead of himself. The day hasn't even started yet. Breathe in....breathe out.

Just take a granola, your ritalin, drink a CRAP ton of water and apply your citrusy jasmine scented deodorant.

Geez, he hoped his boss wouldn't be strict. His deodorant only did so much, even while having an asian benefit of genetically not very pungent pits. Wait. How well does that hold up, though?

Was it all a myth? Or is it because he's thin in particular?

Well...not like your family HAS really stinky pits to start with. That he knows of.

(...Okay, enough with that kind of B.O. talk. You're so weird, Kamal. Stop it. This is why you're lonely.)

Either way....the same couldn't be said for his breath. Ew.

GOD, his breath. DO NOT greet your new boss at the dental clinic with bad breath. Golly.

The chocolate in the granola wasn't coffee but it'll do. He downed it as fast as he could.

Maybe it was for the best, not mixing his adhd meds with excessive caffeine. His brain was already wired enough. Shortly after he brushed his teeth. It would be the last time he'd be just brushing his own pearly whites.

Alright...teal polo shirt...unfortunately baggy pants he couldn't stop himself grabbing last minute...transformers watch...magenta accented sneakers....cartoonish rabbit printed lanyard...

He peered over to his brand new couch. Hippity the beanie buddy sat there cutely, with his pleading beaded eyes.

"Kamal, you still have your doll? I-I mean, I guess I'm a little surprised you like 'em still, yanno.

Considering how you've changed, all your changes."

....

Ignoring that memorized, somewhat backhanded judgment from his mother, he stuffed his soft little friend in his jacket pocket.

Ugh. What does she know?

He imagined a triumphant giggle coming from Hippity since Kamal couldn't bring himself to leave him there. Hippity was good moral support. Just for today, he said. Just for luck.

Maybe it'd be okay.

Today's the first day of the rest of his life. If it's too hard in this weird world to feel like smiling, then the least he could do to help is make sure they had healthy teeth, eh?

...

8:58. Forsooth Dentistry Clinic.

Just in time. He carefully swung his car door closed. God, there was so much traffic! It was ridiculous!

Well, no use in complaining. He did manage to make it. He took out Hippity and hugged him for luck, quickly stashing him in his pocket before anyone saw.

Sigh. Sometimes he truly wished to live a domesticated rabbit's life. When given the right care, they just don't have a care in the world. He liked cats too, but bunnies really got him. No one could replace his childhood bunny, Hopscotch...

But this paycheck could help him out. He could get either/or. Anything to fill the void in the house....oh geez. Daydreaming, Bora. You're doing it again.

He eyed his childish-looking watch. It just flipped from 8:59 to 9:00. Yikes, go inside already.

Behind the door, with a bell jingling on it, was a young purple and redheaded woman as the receptionist. She was typing away at her desk, filing papers.

Kamal let the receptionist know he was here all too awkwardly.

K: 'YELLO!

Ack, er, Hi! I'm here!

Re: Hi there! First day, right?

K: H..Hah, yeah! I'm not late am I?

Re: Oh, no trouble. You should be okay.

K: Cool, cool...

Internally Kamal wanted to burst out crying. But he spared her of witnessing that uncomfortable scene.

...

Re: Name, please?

K: Wha?

Re: Er, your name, doc? I gotta know who's assistant you are, heh!

K: OH. Yes, Doctor Kamal Bora.

Re: Ah. How d'ya spell the first name?

K: K-a-m-a-l?

Re: Kay...lemme see here....

...

Kamal stood there for an awkward amount of seconds....

Re: Ah, sorry for that! Here's your boss!

She handed him a paper over the counter.

Re: You're assigned to Doctor Habit. I heard that one's a bit of an oddball, but he's a hard worker.

Oh. Great. He got the weird one.

K: You don't say?

Re: Ah, but I wouldn't worry too much. Other people just call him strange just because he's rather blunt about things.

Oh, GREAT, he got the strict one?

Re: But like I said, no worries. People spread stuff 'round here too much. G'luck, newbie! Get ready to shake a leg! Or...like, a hand. The paper should say what office he's in. Shouldn't be too far from here.

K: Ah, I gotcha. Thank you much.

The receptionist waved.

...

Going by the paper he found his locker and got his doctor's coat on. It was chilly throughout the clinic so he didn't think to take off his jacket.

The clinic seemed a lot more casual than it first let on when he applied here. Well...I can't let my guard down yet. Gotta try to wow my new boss, I guess. He heard a lot of test drilling down the hall. He hoped it wasn't going to be too overwhelming an hour later when it opened at 10 AM.

This looked to be the station. He was intimidated by the pressure of a first impression; so he masked his fear with his professional persona, greeting his new boss and extending an arm once he was through the door. He didn't really pay attention to where his new boss was, and had his eyes closed upon greeting. Oh gosh.

K: Hey, Doctor Habit right? Pleased to meet'cha. I'm your new assistant, starting today. Dr. Bora.

A rather deep voice with a thick foreign accent (Swedish? French?) that he couldn't pinpoint responded.

Ha: Hullo. I am he.

Dr. Habit looked over his shoulder to see someone not even close to 6 foot at the door. Oddly enough, they had a longer hairstyle like he did. With their eyes closed and a hand extended. He wasn't sure what to make of it other than it seemed to be a handshake invitation. Usually he was to initiate it, as their new boss.

They had either come overprepared, or heard the rumors about him and didn't want to look him in the eye. He scowled a bit at the thought, but still was to accept the handshake. He already knew they'd be put off by him either way. Like the other ones that had asked to be re-assigned...he was used to this by now.

Ha: That I was told. Pleased to meet you as well.

As Habit walked over, his heels making a clopping sound; Kamal was prepared to make eye contact. Look him right in the eye and make sure he knows he'll knock his socks off! And not for the life of him slip up or stutter!!

But then he looked up and---

K: Yeah, good to meet y--!

...

You see, a normal person would just say like "Whoa you're tall" to a man like Habit. But when people think tall they think like...6"5, usually.

They don't usually have SEVEN FOOT FOUR INCHES in mind because that's rather uncommon. And that was Doctor Habit.

With waist length auburn curly hair tied back in a large ponytail; a pea green visage, a rosy nose and bright vermillion eyes he stood out even more. He also seemed to have a patterned lanyard that Kamal wasn't so focused on right now. Could he see right through the mask he put on? He couldn't think normal. His bright golden sepia eyes were shot open in disbelief. But not because he was off put by him, no, far from that.

It was far more embarrassing than that.

(t-tall? TaLL? TALL?? TAALLL???)

Maybe it was because Kamal was kind of half awake and his meds hadn't kicked in yet....but nobody told him he'd be working with some kinda ADONIS?? Was it just him or was Doctor Habit SUPER beautiful??? Was that the word?? CHRIST HELP HIM. WHY WAS HIS FACE WARM.

Oh good lord was he blushing a little? Crap, what was happening. This was a disaster already. He hadn't even been here for an hour. Don't crush on the first man you see, dammit!! DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BOSS!!

[Kamal was kind of just frozen there. His olive toned face flushed rosy, staring up at him wordlessly. Mouth agape.]

Every time. Every single time. I'm so exhausted. Habit was quickly uncomfortable as 10 seconds went by. Habit huffed curtly and that snapped Kamal out of his apparent staggered trance.

K: S-Sorry!? I just u-um....didn't expect---

Habit abruptly interrupted Kamal to shake his hand and get it over with. His hand was at least the size of Kamal's face. And it sure was warmer than it looked. Kamal stayed on that thought a little too much as he spoke.

Ha: Ya, ya. I'm abnormally tall, I wear heels, eyeliner, et she-ra....e-et cetera! Whutever. Look, I'm sure it was a rough drive here and we could both use some coffee. So let's do that, ya?

The impatient type, huh? That's what the receptionist meant he supposed.

Usually Kamal despises putting up with this kind of behavior from anyone, be it minimal to overbearing. But what Dr. Habit responded with sounded sympathetic in nature.

K:...Sure? I...I didn't mean to rude, boss....Mind me.

....

Ha:...No, no. That was on me. Most don't expect someone taller than the average doorframe, so. (Sigh)

Let's have some coffee and begin today's prep work, yes?

Kamal nodded back at him slowly. Still a lot of mixed emotions internally. Why was he so awkward?

It did confuse Habit why this Dr. Bora person was rather rosy in the face.

His previous assistants didn't react like this. Sometimes they'd jump up in fear. All of his previous assistants were under a decade younger than him. Perhaps this one was closer to his age?

Habit knew he couldn't afford having another assistant ask to relocate or be re-assigned. It might impact his job.

It kind of annoyed him honestly. Add it to list of things....

Ha: So...what I'm going to ask is outside of today's training.

K: Huh?

Ha: Your name, Kamal...is it a masculine or feminine one? Or is it neither?

K: My...what?

Ha: Sorry, I meant...er...what's the word....'pronouns'. Yes. I want to make sure I don't misgender you. The clinic doesn't care, but I believe the distinction is severely overlooked.

Wait, really? Was he also....?

K: Well, er...thank you for asking! He and Him for me. Also happen to be a guy, yeah. Kamal's a somewhat neutral name where my folks are from, now that you mention it. You?

Kamal didn't expect this either. Habit wanted to bend the rules for his employee's sake?

Ha: Same as you actually.

K: A-Ah, like the receptionist said?

Ha: Oh...yes.

...Let's get you that coffee, hm?

Did...Habit grin a little a him? Kamal caught a glimpse of it, but it happened.

(He also thought it was really charming.)

Was it 'cuz he caught on to the coding so fast? Maybe he wasn't as weird as his reputation upheld. Maybe he was...nice!

...

9:30 AM.

The minutes had gone by... and boy he sure felt weird again. Kamal had sworn he'd seen this Dr. Habit fellow from somewhere. I mean he did live in town, but like....did they go to the same med school? Now that he thought about it...he recalled bumping into a rather tall gentleman with long curly hair a few times in the halls.

He always apologized but the figure kept on walking with no response. That person in question always seemed glum and low energy. He'd never really heard them speak...maybe because he forgot what they sounded like. They always stood out to him.

Being the sap he is, Kamal tried to reach out them once, slipping a note in their locker last year on Valentine's. No, i-it wasn't romantic or anything! No, no! I mean...not to say he didn't like the mysterious types. [Aughh, but it wasn't like that! He didn't even KNOW the guy.] He just wanted them know that he could be their friend.

He wrote: "Hey there, person I wish I knew! If you ever want a friend my name is Kamal Bora! Reach out to me if you want! I think your style is super hip and like...don't let anyone tell you otherwise, y'know! This time of year can get pretty lonely so, us social outcasts should stick together right? Of course, no pressure. Just know I'm around town. Sincerely, Kamal. :]"

He never really thought it'd go anywhere. He just wanted to try to make a friend.

But the weird thing was.... you'd think he wouldn't even get a response; yet the next day that he went to his locker...there was this intricate colored pencil drawing of a yellow rose on a small slip of paper. Was it from the tall stranger? He couldn't know for sure...but he did remember doodling a bit on that letter too. Was it a response? The piece wasn't even signed, but...oh, the anomalies just kept piling up. He'd likely never know who gave that to him. But he kept that yellow rose drawing on his post board at home...still waiting for that person to give him a response in person.

"So the light fixture is a bit broken. Repairs are coming tomorrow but it'll be a doozy to work with. Honestly I don't know why they can't just let us use a spare room but...such is life, I suppose."

Oh god, he spaced out. Again! How much did he miss...! He was still working on the small latte that was offered to him. He knew he couldn't handle it, good lord....It was already bad that Habit's accent was thick. Hearing it more, he now believed it was russian.

...Was he russian?

K: UhH? Oh! Oh no?! That's bad. Sorry to hear! That will make things weird.

Ha: Luckily, I'm prepared for "slappy-dashed" things such as this!

He was?

Dr. Habit proceeds to unearth FOUR flashlights from his white coat pockets. Where did he even....How??

Ha: This world wouldn't survive without people prepared for the worst! So that's what I did, to save us the trouble. We'll take turns holding the flashlights while the other works on the patient's teeth, ya?

K: U-Uh! Yeah! Sure, boss??

Ha: We can't work on the patient and hold the flashlight at the same time, rite? So it only makes sense.

[Just smile and nod Kamal....I mean...yeah it does make enough sense?]

But Kamal was SO confused.

Okay, was this what they meant by odd? As in...pretty intense? This man was just giving him a wave of emotions. He didn't know whether to think he was intense or um?? Charismatic?

...And kinda really super cute?? At the same time?? Kamal, jesus, get a hold of yourself!! This is just another stupid meaningless crush!

Ha: Okay...well. Did you remember all that, Dr. Bora?

SHOOT. Should he lie??

K: U-Uh. UH....

Ha: It's fine if you didn't. It'll make sense in practice, yes. They had me remember the hard stuff for you.

K: I guess so. You're...eheh. The boss. Literally. I mean, yes...I remember what to do, of course. Ahah.

Habit blinks at him blankly. Then...

Ha: Heh. Funny joke. You're a fun one. Come over to this station.

Kamal couldn't help a grin at the compliment.

Yes, I've got to totally wow him in anyway possible. Really show him how talented I am. That I'm not just a dork from down the street.

....

But suddenly, Kamal heard a PLOP against the marble floor as he kept walking. It was resounding to him...it sounded like a stuffed animal?

Wait. WAIT!! OH GOD. HIPPITY THE BUNNY WAS IN HIS JACKET POCKET THAT'S RIGHT!!

Oh my god. OH MY GOD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.

Ha: Hm? Ah...what's...that?

K: I??? diDN'T HEAR AN ANYTHING?

Ha: No, but look...is that a bunny rabbit doll?

Habit paced over to it slowly, pondering the owner.

Ha: Did a patient leave this one behind, or...

Kamal quickly ran back over to the doll, startling Habit as he scooped Hippity back up and attempted to stuffed him back in the inner pocket.

Ha: WH--My goodness, why did you...?

Habit caught sight of his employee's face. Kamal's face was completely red. Was he misty eyed? He looked so ashamed...Why? Habit began to genuinely worry.

K: He...um. Hippity's...he's my bunny. Sorry, this is so unprofessional! Ugh! Don't laugh, okay?! I won't bring him tomorrow, I-I just! Ngh!

No...no...god. He was crying. Right in front of his boss. On the first goddamn DAY.

Weeping while holding his silly little childhood beanie buddy. He probably looked so pathetic right now....

But to his surprise...Habit's tone completely changed.

Ha: Y-You...don't have to embarrassed about this. Don't be sorry.

K: W...Wha?

Ha: Never be sorry for what you cherish, okay? D-Don't let anyone tell you so! Your little Hippity looks very well cared for.

K: I....Thank you?

Habit was looking right at him, genuinely, with not a hint of gruffness in his exterior.

[Was this guy...really just a big softie too?]

This kind of sentimentality was very important to Habit, he learned just now.

Somehow...this helped Kamal recall something, too. He found his train of thought again. He usually can. But this morning has done a number to his stress alone.

About time, really. I guess this coffee's good for something.

He lost sight of his long term goal, why he craved independence in the first place.

And his parents have been nothing but supportive in the long run.

But of course they've had their slip-ups. A LOT. Progress is slow, but gradual.

In truth...His mother, she's actually very considerate of him most of the time. The first person he willingly came out to as trans.

He always unwillingly recalled what she opened with when he was packing up all of his things, when he moved out just a few weeks ago.

"All his changes" meant a guy was strange or a pansy for liking dolls. Right? Is that what you were getting at, mom?

...

Don't you remember? She caught herself. Corrected herself. As she should've.

At least she did that!

...

"I guess I'm a little surprised you like 'em still, yanno. Considering how you've changed, all your changes."

"Wh--MOM! Why the hell would you SAY that??? Seriously?! It's my room, I can keep what ever 'GIRLY' things I want! Ugh! And you call me judgmental?!"

"Ah!? Oh no! Putra, sorry...! I didn't..."

"Didn't WHAT?! Think about what you said! I've had this weird little rabbit doll for like, what, 21 YEARS and this is when you decide to make me insecure about it?!"

"(Huff) Kamal. Listen to me. You know that isn't what I intended. Please let me finish..."

"UGH. Ma, that really smarts you know. I already struggle with my masculinity. Considering it's still pretty much invisible even with my changed voice. What, like am I supposed to pretend my sentiments aren't still attached to the identity that was enforced on me before I could even walk??

Like, I can barely use the needles as is---I...I don't need more insecurity. You and dad are the only ones who KNOW. DON'T make me feel awkward around you guys, too."

"...O-Oh dear, I didn’t realize I struck a nerve so badly. I didn't mean to upset you! No, I...devatas...Sorry. It's just, you know...I'm not you. I can't read your mind. But I'm always here for you. You are my son, my child. I support you no matter what. I made that promise before you were even an idea, you know.

...I lost interest in my dollies, I gave them to your cousins a long while ago.

I mean, if you like them, that's fine! Ignore me, putra.

Me bein' a tomboy shouldn't reflect on you. You are a strong individual at heart, my son. And I'm sorry. This is the beginning of your career. Your own altruism."

...

A strong individual at heart....how did something so important get forgotten so quickly?

Am I really that scatterbrained?

....No, you know that's just the ADHD. You're not "scatter-brained". You are a person, not an untouchable "god".

Mom reminded you of that more times than you could count.

She raised you, ACTUALLY raised you. She gives a damn about you all the time.

Maybe that's why this silly little stuffed bunny holds this much emotional weight. The tears finally caught up to you.

Christ, man.

She nurtured your curiosity and identity, She let you shave half your head in high school and ironically you were the only one who regretted the decision. You thought she just didn't care that day. She's always too insistent and absent-minded when it's time to be busy with stuff like packing and moving.

It did hurt a little. But she cared to correct herself. When it's so normal for an asian family to kick out their queer children. Because that was their one burning "imperfection".

But she actually loves you. Your parents DO care, even in the midst of their ridiculous doting and eggshell walking. Don't they?

"Kamal, I hope you know I love you no matter what. I raised you to know exactly what you want, when it really counts. I'll back off when you need me to, okay? You know how I've been. I never want to be the one to make you feel like garbage. That would mean I've failed you.

So...case in point. You do you, little rabbit."

Heh heh.~

Jayasri Nadella-Bora. She brought you into this world to be happy, ultimately. Right?

This is the same woman who conditioned you with her progressive influence in the first place, as a cisgender woman. She cares too much, and lets her concern consume her at times. Even now, she's still learning.

She fights for your cause everyday, not only as a mom. As a civil rights activist.

[And dad, well, he's okay too. Most times. Not that he isn't a good guy, but he's a real weenie.

He always lets mom do the talking. Meeting your mother was the smartest thing he's ever done. He married mom, so he has to have an actual soul within his body.

He's really ignorant, but you know Mom and Dad love each other more than the earth itself. And....you were a "happy surprise".]

So...can it be more obvious?)

Maybe you're forgetful, too. You aren't invincible or perfect. You are a dentist. You broke down crying in front of your boss.

What's even happening today? Is this humbling?

Or are you humble as is?

Ha: Really, though. Bring anything you need to work as long as it doesn't get in the way, of course. I'm letting you do that, okay?

The overwhelmed blush on Kamal wore down into a soft, calm glow.

K: Uh...heh! Okay..well.

Thank you, doc. You better not regret it, cuz, um...

Ha: Anything if it'll help you feel more productive, right?~ Eheh.

So he wasn't imagining things. Dr. Habit really smiled at him. He was smiling right now!

(This guy had to be as big a sap as him, right? Like...)

K: Sure, ha. Okay. Thanks.

Geez...how was emotionally connecting with this guy so fast?

....

Ha: Would you mind telling me about your lanyard? That has littol bnuuy rabbits on it too. Do you like bnuuys a lot?

K: Uh...you mean...'bun-knees'? Pff...Y-Yes, I do?

Ha: Hah, yes. Bnuuys.

K: Bunnies?

Ha: Bew-nais.

K: Bunnies.

Ha: Boonui? :-D

K:...Now you're just doing this on purpose, doc.

Ha: Maybe so! But it is fun, no?

K: Psh, okay. Well I mostly picked it because I liked the design but I ALSO happen to like bunnies a whole lot. They're two different things, heh.

Ha: But...doesn't that sort of mean same thing?

K: Not necessarily! >:P

Why does yours have those yellow flowers all over it, eh? Did you just pick it out cuz it's nice-looking?

...

But suddenly, Habit went quiet.

Did...Kamal bring up something iffy?

K: I...I wasn't teasing you about it, sorry. I-It's a pretty lanyard! I'm just confused. Did....people laugh at you for liking flowers? I mean 'cuz....some did laugh at me before for bringing Hippity once. And that was middle school.

Habit's gentle tone was now sorrowful as well.

Ha: Indirectly....you could say so.

K: Oh? Well. Y'know. It's like you said, boss. Anyone who makes fun of you for being a nerd is just a freeloader or something, right?

Ha:...Maybe so...

...

Okaaay, maybe it was time to change the subject.

K: Hey, Dr. Habit? Did we....happen to go to the same med school?

Ha: In the exact same area? Well, I went to Geewhiz.

K: No joke?! I went there too!

Ha: Goodness, really?

K: I could've sworn I'd seen you somewhere! Ack...Do you remember me bumping into you at all?

Ha: Eh...I bump into a lot of people shorter than me, so. Though I also thought your voice sounded familiar.

K: Well I ask because...on my last year... coincidentally February 14th, ahem; I slid a note into someone's locker. Asking to be their friend. And they looked an awful lot like you! But I can't be too sure. (sigh) I mean...I never even knew their name.

The realization hit Habit like a truck.

Ha:...K-Kamal Bora?! That was...YOU?! You're HIM???

K: Y-Yeah! It was, man! Oh my god, this is nuts, dude! Does that mean...did you draw that picture of a yellow rose and put in my locker?!

Habit's hands were clasped together. Kamal saw clear as day he was brilliantly flushed in the face. How come? Did it really mean that much to him? He was so smiley!

Ha: W-Well I...didn't know how else to respond to that kind note from someone I didn't even know...so I asked around and, erm. Well...I like drawing. And I saw you drew little rabbits on your note, too.

K: P-Pff, really? I did?

Ha: Hm-hm, yes. That's how I knew it was you.

K: Wowzers! Ehehe...

Ha: Hee...My english writing is no good, so...I poured my thoughts into a little rose drawing. And put it in your locker. I-I didn't know what else to say, eheh...umm.

...Did you like it?

K: Like it? Duuude! I've never seen such a realistically drawn rose! I loved it! I like the pink shading to the yellow you added to it, too!

I still have it on my billboard at home!

Ha: W-wow. I'm...so...ticklish pink, honestly! I..awhaha!

K: Huh? Say again?

Habit had a big sappy smile on, still closed up. As his rosiness in his cheeks tinged that grin, he started twirling his auburn curls a little.

Ha: I'm just....really habby you liked it. I was too chicken to even write my name on it....I, aha. Just wanted to give the drawing to you.

K: Oh, but how come?

Ha: I wasn't really ready to give you my name yet...I've only recently had it changed. And some sources still have me recorded as whoever the other Habit was in the question....

K: Ah...I hear ya. Well...what is your name, doc?

Ha: During business hours, I'm just "Dr. Habit". But to you, Mr. Kamal...I'm Boris. Alright? : - >

K: Mm-hm! Then well...Boris?

Ha: Ya?

"Could I be your friend then?"

"Yes. I'd love to."

Kamal had definitely wowed Boris that morning.

In a chance meeting he never even thought possible.

This would be the start of something exceedingly precious to both in the coming years.

#aroace writer #autistic writer #habismal #kooky's fic #smile for me game #kamal bora #boris habit #dr habit #s4m #smile for me oc #jayasri & kairava #jayasri nadella bora #thank you for all the support on my first s4m fics. I'm gonna post here now too since this is my most recognized fic on ao3. Tysm <3 #they're gay and in love #and trans

22 notes · View notes

caxycreations · 1 year

Text

Nowhere Else to Put This

WARNING: VENT, STRONG LANGUAGE

I don't know where to start or where to end

so fuck it

just

gonna go.

I have no job. I've tried, before, several times. Worked at a cotton gin when I was 16, got fired 3 hours in because my supervisor kept telling me to sit down and watch how to do the work, and the manager kept coming by RIGHT as I was sitting back watching. So I got fired 3hrs in for "not doing anything besides watching a man four times my age do ten times my work".

Worked at a burger stand after that, lost that job when they closed down a week later. Unemployed for years after that, then mom talked to her boss and managed to get me a job working in-home care, specifically for my grandmother, who was a client of the company. That was great. $11.50 an hour to keep my grandmas place clean, hang out and chat with her, and run errands? I was already doing that, so all that changed was that now I got paid for it.

Eventually snagged a second job, remodel work for the local walmart, and wound up quitting because it felt so fucking pointless. Two of the managers insisted that the local workers could be dropped because this walmart was so small they could do the work with a third of the team in half the time, and made sure to remind the local workers (aka me, mom, my cousin, and my friend, along with 6-7 others out of the 30-man team) that we were completely expendable, and entirely unwanted.

So I quit that job, focused entirely on the in-home care job for a while longer.

And then I moved. Stupid, idiotic, worthless idea. I moved away to live with my boyfriend in Oklahoma, who promptly dumped me two goddamn weeks after I moved, revealing he only wanted me out there to "save me from that dead-end town", and he had actually been thinking of breaking up with me for a month or more, but wanted to "save me" first.

I wind up there for six months, applying everywhere I can, trapped in his house because nobody will hire me and I can't leave on my own because my anxiety prevents me from driving. Finally, my Dad saves the day, finding out what happened and driving for a day solid to get there and bring me back home.

And I still couldn't land a job. A town where everyone knew me, everyone knew my dad, his word could get ANYONE a job there

Anyone but me. Because everyone heard about the gin situation, and saw me as lazy, all because one person several years ago told me to sit down and watch, and another person misread the situation, and the first never stood up for me.

Now I live with Mom. I'm 25, I've lived on my own multiple times in the past, and moved away once before, and I still wound up back here.

I have problems. I have undiagnosed autism (literally proven, tested and proven, but I pissed off the guy who handled my test and he said he would not diagnose "such a smart-mouthed kid" (context: he wanted me to make a story using random bits and bobs from a plastic bag, and I got frustrated after the sixth time of explaining to him that being put on the spot was making it impossible)

I have diagnosed anxiety (been on anti-depressants, relaxants, and even had a doctor outright TELL me that I should get a support animal to help manage it)

There are things I absolutely can not do on my own. I can't drive. I can't deal with the general public in person. I can't even manage to say hi to a stranger.

And it fucking HURTS.

I need to see a dentist, I need to see a doctor, I need to be re-tested for autism by someone who actually fucking cares so I can get that diagnosis on paper instead of people looking at me like an asshole for saying I'm autistic without documentation.

And the only person who can help me do so is my mom, who consistently neglects both myself AND my little brother, because she can't be bothered to deal with any kind of inconvenience to her desire to sit in bed all day and play Spades on her phone, or to go mow the lawn for the 400th time this week just so she can tell us to do everything because "i've been outside all day".

I try to do what I can, I try to earn what I can. But it doesn't fucking work. I try to stream, and so many people say "oh advertise more, you'll be seen by more people" but that's bullshit. I'm lucky to get one new follower in six months. I've got an internet following 700-people strong across all my platforms, and over 100 of them on my Twitch, and I still struggle to get so much as 6 people viewing on a stream at any given time.

But twitch isn't everything, I also do art commissions, writing commissions, and once-upon-a-time did VRChat Avatar commissions!

I stopped doing Art comms because I'd charge $30 for the same thing others were charging $70-$100 for, and I barely got any interest, and the interest I did get, people would ask me for so much more than I was capable of. So I dropped it to just headshots. Five bucks or less depending on the quality asked of me, and it STILL doesn't get me anything.

Writing comms? I've gotten ONE writing comm request in the 7 years I've been offering them, and you wanna know what it was? Some fuckin weirdo asking for, of all things, an NSFW PAW PATROL FIC. I'm sorry, my moral compass might be grey half the time but even on my most morally defunct day I wouldn't write that for any amount of money.

avatar comms? I was actually half good at! Got a few people ordering from me, and it was good money cause I could land $60-$70 comms that took like 2-3 days to do. But then I lost access to the popular model, and people stopped wanting the work, and the few that still did wanted me to do things with models I physically could not do. One client had an asymmetrically patterned oc and INSISTED on using the Terris Wolf, which btw, is LOCKED as a symmetrical texture. The texture wrap is literally just one half of the model, mirrored onto the other half, and the only way to fix that would be to fully unwrap the model in Blender and make a whole new custom texture, WHICH I CAN'T DO because every time I open Blender I get an actual physical headache looking at it. So I stopped because people kept asking me for things I couldn't do, even things that were in my ToS as "Cannot/Will Not Do".

I have no work. I have no income besides the pathetic $50-$60 I make every 3-4 months from streaming.

And when I vent about this, so many people say "I wish I could help you, but I'm going through so-and-so"

I don't want a handout! I accept tips and donations sure, but it's because I can't fucking afford to turn them down! Do you think if I had any reasonable income I'd be asking people to give me money for nothing besides the goodwill of helping me? NO! Because I don't want to be a charity case!

I have a very, VERY capable mind, and very capable hands, and a willingness to learn whatever skill or skills I need to in order to do a job. The problem is I can't work public jobs, I need something that doesn't require driving, and all the work-from-home stuff is either "work hard and one day you might make minimum wage if you're lucky!" or "requires X years experience, bachelor's or greater degree in X field, and must hold X certification"

There are "entry-level" DATA ENTRY jobs that demand certifications! Can you believe that??? Certified, for what? Pushing fuckin buttons? Data entry isn't that fuckin complicated.

I just

I want to earn income.

I hate being given something for nothing. I hate feeling like I owe people, or like the only reason I have something is because someone else decided I was worth it.

I'm worth it to me, I want to buy myself things, I want to be able to afford replacements and repairs when things break or wear down, I want to be able to pay for my own groceries, I want to be able to buy my own clothes, and I want to earn the money used to do so.

I hate feeling so fucking useless, so hopeless. I've spent YEARS improving the few marketable skills I do have, and it's led to a state of living where I can't even afford to buy groceries without asking my boyfriend to pay for them, and I fucking hate it. It's not his responsibility to provide for me, it's mine, and I'm tired of relying on everyone around me for the most basic shit.

Sorry to spill this here. Nowhere else fucking cares and the people I normally vent to have heard this all before and I don't want to bother them with it.

#vent #venting #hopelessness #painful #anger

17 notes · View notes

gibbearish · 3 months

Note

re: your post about vaginismus. idk if that's specifically what i have but i definitely have some sort of pelvic floor disorder going on and i was wondering if it's not just an option to never ever partake in any sort of vaginal penetration ever? everyone always acts like you HAVE to treat it by, you know, putting things in your vagina. but i am just not okay with that even remotely even a little bit ever at all. i would genuinely consider any kind of penetration to be sexual assault and would never ever consent to it, not even for medical purposes.

i tried pelvic floor therapy that involved "external" work like breathing & muscle exercises but it really felt like it wasn't helping and was so unjustifiably expensive that i honestly feel like i got scammed :/

i've even spoken to two separate sex therapists about it and all they did was tell me my feelings were valid but never actually offered any helpful insights or advice, leading me to believe they've never encountered anyone like me before, like i'm maybe the most uniquely messed up person in the world to the point that not even sex therapists—whose whole job (i perhaps falsely believed) is helping people with sexual issues—know what to do with me.

so what is someone like me supposed to do?

so before i say anything else, i do just want to offer a disclaimer that i am not a medical professional and everything i say should be taken with a grain of salt, everything im gonna be saying here is speculation based solely on the things youve said and my own personal experiences. i also want to add my generic "if youre in the united states, do everything through planned parenthood" advisory here, they have excellent service and idk how they vet their references but it's kept me from having bad experiences through them so far, so it seems to be working and i highly recommend going through them for anything sexual health related if you have the ability.

now, with that out of the way, on to some more specific advice. so firstly, no, you do not have to treat it. your body is yours and you choose what happens to it. however, that doesn't automatically make every choice a healthy one. you could choose to never brush your teeth or go to the dentist, and anyone who tried to pin you down and forcefully clean your teeth would in fact be assaulting you, but that wouldn't change the fact that we brush our teeth for a reason yknow? it's your body and your choice, and you are allowed to make unhealthy choices if you want, but you should be able to ackowledge them as what they are. and i understand penetration can be scary and hard, believe me, but there are genuine health reasons for doing so. pap smears are how they check for cervical cancer (i just got one done today!), and even outside of that there are things that can cause major problems if left unchecked. for instance vaginal atrophy can make the walls of the vaginal canal dry out and stick together, and if that happens for an extended time with nothing to separate them, those walls can then fuse to and grow into each other. in severe cases, the vaginal canal can fully seal shut, the worst case i read about was a woman in an old folks home who had atrophy from menopause and no sexual activity, so she only found out when the growing skin sealed her /urethra/ shut.

i'm not telling you these things to scare you, but just to hopefully give you some perspective on why medical professionals are so insistent about it. the purpose of invasive tests like pap smears is to prevent having to do much more invasive work down the line to fix things, like cancer treatments or surgically reopening your pee hole. and that's not to say if you don't try to treat yours, those will 100% happen, my point is that if youre not able to work through this fear, you simply won't be able to take those preventative measures. like i said, its your body and you choose what happens to it, but like. there is a legitimate reason for people wanting treatment for vaginismus beyond just sex, i know some people do come at it from an angle of "rrgh sex is what makes us human you must be able to have sex ragagagahg" which is obviously fucked up, but a lot of it does actually come from a place of genuine concern for your health. also, this is just a sidenote, but the breathing and muscle exercises /do/ help, however if youre unwilling to consent to penetration then they don't really have a way to check if it's working and give you pointers on which exercises would actually help you the most. obv you know your situation better than i do so use your best judgement as to whether other factors point to it being a scam, but as someone who's been through that therapy i can confirm that those steps are a normal part of the therapy for it and aren't useless. it's just that therapists can only really help as much as you let them.

and with that, i want to move on to something else, and i know i said this before but i want to reiterate that everything im about to say is entirely speculation. that being said, im getting the feeling that maybe youre not being entirely truthful with yourself about this. you say that you don't want penetration and would never consent, but youve visited multiple doctors about it and are now reaching out to me for answers too. im not sure if the reply i got on that post to a similar tune around the same time was also you or not, but if it was then you reached out through multiple channels as well. and to me, that says that maybe you /do/ actually want to try treating it, but are being held back by fear. whether that fear is due to the previous bad experiences youve had or something else in your past, i couldnt tell you, but given all of that and esp the "maybe i'm a uniquely messed up person" part, i get the feeling that youre not as ok with having it as youre saying you are, and as id wager you mightve told those sex therapists? like. that to me doesnt sound like the statement of someone who is content with the way their body is functioning. to me, it sounds like you are unhappy with having this disorder but your previous attempts to resolve it have stalled out or gotten you nowhere, so youve convinced yourself you're fine with it rather than risk another failure.

because here's the thing. im very careful when talking about this disorder publically not to say that it makes one broken or that sex is a necessary part of being human. and ive been paying closer attention to how misunderstandings like these happen lately, and ive noticed that you can usually learn a lot from people based on what they get defensive about; "if the shoe fits" is a saying for a reason, after all. so when people read my post simply offering resources to those struggling with treatment and come away from it hearing "you are broken and should fix this," it tells me that that interpretation was likely already in their mind before they started reading, that that was the lense they were already viewing my words through. so when they hit a part that seemingly confirmed it, they got defensive. and again, this is all 100% speculation, i know nothing about you beyond this ask and can't know if this is accurate or not. all I'm saying is like. really take some time to sit with your feelings about this disorder and assess if you genuinely are fine with having it. idk if this was included in the version you saw, but in one of the additions to that post i mentioned that like. for a long time i felt the same about my disorder, i'm transmasc so there was something validating about only being able to do sex like a gay man, of not physically having the vaginal option, but. after a while i realized that was just a bandaid for me, an excuse to be ok with it rather than an explanation. whether i wanted to do it "the girl way" or not, i didn't like not getting the choice.

and that's a theme ive actually seen repeated in the tags of that post a bit, ive gotten comments from quite a few ppl saying "i'm ace so this shouldnt matter to me. And Yet...👀" because. like. its your body!!! you want to feel like you have full control over it!!!! choosing not to have sex or not to allow penetration can feel fundamentally different than basically having it dangled in front of your face your whole life but just out of reach. like, there are a bunch of people out there getting treatment because of this post specifically so that they can be ace but Harder. so like. idk, i think what im trying to say it that like. you dont have to try to make yourself be ok with penetration for any reason if you dont want to. but to me it sounds like having the choice could being you peace. reading your ask back, i notice that you didn't actually say youre ok with having this, just that youre vehemently /not/ ok with penetration, and idk. to me that sounds less like peace with where youre at and more like fear. and i think dealing with that fear might get you much further in accepting this part of yourself if just trying to be ok with it on its own isnt getting you anywhere.

now, all of that aside, if that speculation is wrong and it is just outside pressure giving you conflict, that gets a bit more difficult and idk how helpful my advice here can be. my first thought would be to try reaching out to a regular therapist rather than specifically a sex therapist, that way if your aversion to it turns out to be like trauma related or smth, they could help you deal with it, whether by helping you unwind that aversion or by figuring out why external opinions are influencing your self-image so much. other than that, maybe just. try really driving home that its not the penetration aversion thats giving you problems, but your feelings /about/ the aversion? im not sure how you brought this up to them but therapists can sometimes do this thing where they latch on to one specific idea and ignore what youre actually telling them, so i can imagine them getting easily sidetracked into thinking the conflict was about the penetration itself so when you said you were ok with not doing it, they were like "oh! cool well problem solved then, they just needed validation that theyre allowed to not want sex!:))!!!!!" which. sucks massively that that can happen, but therapists are human too and are not immune to having their own internal biases. either way, unfortunately without knowing more about your specific situation+therapist experiences, i don't think i can offer much specific help? it could have just been issues with those specific therapists, or it could have been like with the breathing+muscle exercises where there was something more going on behind the scenes that you werent aware of, or it could be that your issues with this are entirely unrelated to sex which is why sex therapists werent able to help. i would encourage trying more therapists, but i also very very much understand the mental exhaustion involved with that whole process (currently procrastinating setting up my own therapy appointments because my last three have sucked, so seriously, i /very/ much get it kwbfksbfkd) so i get it if that advice rings hollow. i will say though, ive heard from a friend who's currently in therapy that good therapists will indeed ask follow up questions and actually dig up the part thats bugging you, whether you entirely want to give it up or not, but i don't know if that translates for sex therapists. i should hope so but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows. either way though, them not being able to help does not mean youre uniquely fucked up, it just means that they werent the therapists for you.

the only other idea i really have is to just like. maybe familiarize yourself with signs of cervical cancer? i know very little about it myself so i dont even know if there are other external signs, but id assume yes and that people dont just Randomly Drop Dead One Day. so i would research like. what pains to keep an eye out for, changes in urinary habits, things like that, bc if it were me i think that would probably help me feel better abt the whole situation would be knowing i had a backup for the medical aspect.

this got really long and idk if there's a tldr that could do it justice but i think if i had to condense all of this down i would say that no, you are not broken for having this disorder and you do not have to fix it if you don't want to, but i kinda get the feeling that you maybe do want to? however that is entirely a guess that could easily be wrong, so if it is, then i would reach out to a non-sex therapist, because either way it does sound like these feelings are effecting you negatively quite a bit. you deserve to genuinely feel happy with your body, not to feel like the most uniquely messed up person in the world, and a good therapist can help you get there regardless of where those feelings are coming from.

but yeah, i hope this is helpful in some way and that the speculation was ok, it just. really sounds to me like your feelings on this might be more complex than you're letting yourself feel. and i hope that in the event i am wrong, i offered enough possible alternatives to still be helpful 💕 best of luck

#origibberish #gibberasks #/long post #/nsfw text #vaginismus

3 notes · View notes

captawesomesauce · 7 months

Text

Thoughts at 230pm

Where do I begin....

I have a lot on my mind and little of it is good

I don't like dentists.

And let me tell you why....

When I was young... maybe 6 or 7, my father punched me hard in the mouth. Hard enough that my lower jaw moved in a way the upper jaw didn't. Hard enough that an abscess formed over an upper tooth. Hard enough that my lower teeth deformed pushing one front tooth behind the other at an angle.

My father was a big man who did construction his whole life, and was a raging alcoholic. I was a very frail, sickly little kid... his fist was about the size of my entire head.

Days later when I went to visit my mother, she saw that I couldn't speak, eat, and barely drink.

I don't think she called the police this time, other times she and teachers did... but this was the early 80s and well... even when I had bruises up and down my body, they wouldn't do anything about it.

So mom took me to a dentist.... not my usual one but one that could see me right now.

I sat in the chair... he grabbed my jaw and wiggled it and kept yelling at me to open my mouth more. I tried to explain that I couldn't, that it was locked, that the tendons and muscles were so swollen I couldn't move it....

He just berated me some more and then roughly grabbed my lower jaw and forced it open and to the left with a sickening POP!

I woke up minutes later.

I just remember the sound and then bright lights as he yelled at me more to wake up.

The pain was insane... to this day i'm not sure i've felt anything that hurt that bad. Not when I got run over by the truck, not when I fell into a burning building, not when I first got hit in the jaw.

He then shoved some stuff for xrays into my mouth that were sharp as hell... so sharp that the next round of yelling began because I started gushing blood from where they cut deep into my upper lip and the roof of my mouth.

It was pouring out so bad and I was crying, and they had to use the suction hose to stop me from choking on it.

Eventually mom came back to find out what the noise was, saw me covered in blood and took me home.

The next day I was still spitting up blood and couldn't even drink so my regular dentist saw me who ushered me into the next room where his partner the oral surgeon was.

I ended up getting a root canal, the abscess drained, and a ton of shots in my jaw. I was on pain pills and muscle relaxers and so much more for weeks after.

I never saw the dentist again.

----

Until now.

That tooth with the root canal cracked in half ... the front is just gone... the back is fine... but the front is gone.

I can't leave it like that so I'm going to see a dentist.

Not only do I have to deal with the overwhelming prior trauma... but you know... covid is still a thing.

Most of the dentists I called who accept my insurance all have open seating ... it's like going to a barber shop. Everyone's in the same room with just small partitions between you.

That's about as COVID safe as kissing everyone on a cruise ship after they dock.

So that's a no.

I did find one small place with good ratings who is nearby.... so ... wed I go in and will pay full price.

It'll be awful, it'll be expensive... and then I will come home and isolate from W. She'll take the front room, I'll take the back... no shared spaces or air. No shared bathrooms, or kitchens, or hallways... all self contained, with open windows and fans blowing and everything so we're not breathing the same air at all.

After 48-72hrs if no symptoms, I'll take a covid test and then 12 hrs later a 2nd one to see if anything pops. I don't want to do this... I don't want to risk this... I don't want to pay this.... I don't want ANY OF THIS.... We've gone this long without getting COVID... of taking almost no risks at all... now this! Sometimes you get over trauma... sometimes trauma follows you your entire life.

#thoughts

3 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 2 months

Text

1899

Do you ever worry about your future? (i.e.: college, marriage, kids, etc) Not really. I think I've mostly learned how to have an "accept whatever's coming" mindset, which might sound lazy but it helps a lot in, like, not being constantly paranoid. If anything what I only find myself thinking about repeatedly is the future in the context of my parents – will I be the child who'll live with them when they get old, would they ever get seriously sick, etc.

Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy? We don't; we just use the placemats for glasses. My mom is very tidy and very particular and very uptight with neatness...but somehow that doesn't translate to coasters haha. We manage fine without.

What’s your least favorite chore to do around the house? Do you have to do this often? Ironing. Its optionality is what makes it burdensome for me lol, if that makes sense. I don't always have to do it in every laundry cycle so when I do, it feels like an additional chore.

If you went to your mom/dad or whoever you live with and said “hey, I’ll clean the whole house if you give me 20 bucks” would they go for it? Would you raise the price? 100% they will just laugh at me for asking money when they know I'm already perfectly capable of earning my own, haha.

Are you usually late, early or right on time? Usually right on time, or anywhere between 1-5 minutes late.

If you wrote a journal entry about your last date, what would it say? I can't remember when my last date was.

On a scale of 1 to 5 how organized are you? I'm like a 6 at work and a solid 2.5 anywhere else.

Name a movie you can watch over and over again and not be bored with? Roman Holiday or Two for the Road.

Do you wear pajamas to places other than at your house? Apart from the house and accommodations like hotels and Airbnbs, nope.

Do you take showers in the morning or at night more? Morning. It needs to be the first thing I do every morning, otherwise it won't feel right when I work.

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? Lockscreen is Namjoon at a museum; home screen is the latest OT7 selfie from Jin's first day out the military. It's the one where Hobi has clearly been drinking because his entire face is red, lol.

Do you still have your tonsils? Yes.

What is the worst thing someone has ever done to you? Told me I'm worthless, unworthy of love, a burden etc. Idk I blocked everything from my memory but that's essentially the idea.

Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public? No thanks.

Do you snore? Steal the covers? Roll around in your sleep? I snore sometimes, which is the most noteworthy thing I do when sleeping tbh. Otherwise I barely move and always wake up nearly in the same position I fell asleep in.

Why aren’t you with the person you love? I'm not romantically interested in anyone.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? Yeah. I was supposed to be out for an event but this typhoon did not shut the fuck up all day. Internet's out, landline's out, and even cell signal was mostly out inside the house so I've been working from my car and didn't have time to change out of my event clothes.

Do you like the rain? Love the rain.

What is your mom listed under in your phone? Just her number. LOL. It's a running gag now tbh; it's hilarious when people see it and are shocked when they find out I don't have my mom officially saved, so because the reactions are always priceless I've kept it that way.

Do you like going to the dentist? Yeah it's fine but I just hate when they use that sandpaper thing to aggressively wedge in my teeth gaps. Makes me so paranoid.

Are you afraid of speaking to large audiences? Not usually. I'll be fine if I know what to say.

Are you afraid to tell the truth sometimes? Sure.

What’s one quality about yourself that you feel sets you back but also helps you? Gosh. Uh...maybe liking my alone time a little too much, I guess? I could benefit more by joining communities, signing up for hobby classs and workshops like painting and pottery, and meeting new people...but idk. I'm also just as content staying my shell when I want to.

Was anyone who had been in your company today in a bad mood? It was just me and the rain today.

The last time you felt sick what exactly was wrong? Food poisoning. Drank bad milk.

What did you do today? Weathered through work despite the nearly-nonexistent signal and carried out the most stressful event ever (it was a face-to-face that needed to be redone and repackaged into a Zoom event with uhh *checks watch* barely 2 hours of prep). I should feel proud but now I just kind of feel bad because I was tense and stressed all day and could have spoken more nicely to some colleagues who kept getting stuff wrong. I didn't humiliate them or say bad words or anything lol but the perpetual people pleaser in me just doesn't like showing that I'm angry. Idk. It's hard to balance being firm and gentle.

1 note · View note

mtap-comics · 1 year

Text

Welcome back to my Bad Things Happen Bingo! This time after only three weeks!

Fandom: My time at Portia

Pairing: Arlo x Female Builder

Summary: Elenya knew the perfect birthday gift for Arlo. All she had to do was dig it up in the abandoned ruins. That shouldn't take too long, right?

Word count: 7,653

Prompt: Forgetting to Eat

Author’s note: As I promised last time, this one is a lot fluffier than the last. You probably need to call your dentist again after reading this. I once again sneaked a marriage proposal into this. It's cheesy. You are warned.

Oh, and I've read so many times through this that I'm not sure anymore what I even wrote. So I hope everything still makes sense and wish you a happy reading. Take enough time for that, it once again got way out of hand.

I'm not yet sure wich prompt I should write next, so if you have a special wish, let me know. There are still 13 fields left.

Warnings: a little Angst and lots of Fluff, Fainting, Unintentional Eating Disorder, Sweet Arlo

Read on AO3: Link

Lost in Preparations

On a warm autumn day, as the leaves were just beginning to change their colour, Elenya stood in front of her worktable with slumped shoulders. Arlo's birthday was already in two days and she had no idea what to give him.

Last year, she had given him a multi-function knife, which he had been very thrilled about. She knew how much he liked functional gifts. Spaghetti and spicy food were also always a safe bet.

But now that they had officially been a couple for 10 months, she felt the pressure to top last year's gift. But how ?

Maybe a new waist pack? No, she had just made him a new one a few weeks ago, after his old one had broken.

A new leather belt? Hmm, he could always use those, but that was just way too simple. Just like a bouquet of roses. He got those from her regularly anyway. She just couldn't help herself. No matter how often she gave him roses, each time his eyes lit up with joy and her heart filled with warmth at the sight. The deep, passionate kisses that always followed afterwards were one of her favourites too, leaving her heart racing and her cheeks burning with heat.

Just the thought of it brought a smile to her face, and for a moment, she stared dreamily into the air. She really loved Arlo and would do anything to make him happy.

But then she remembered why she was thinking about this in the first place and shook her head firmly.

Damn it, none of this was getting her anywhere. What could she possibly give him?

Desperately, her gaze wandered over her workshop until her eyes lingered on her recovery machine. Suddenly she remembered when Arlo's eyes had also lit up so joyfully. Namely, when he had seen the finished relic of the soldier with lance in the museum, when she set it up there.

That was it! Why hadn't she thought of that earlier?

He had even told her that he would like to have a soldier for himself, but simply had no time to look for the relic parts. But she still had two days time and, if she remembered correctly, she should already have a large portion of the parts.

Excited and with renewed energy, she scurried over to her chest where she kept her relic parts from Abandoned Ruin 2. She was pleased to find that she already had 4 of the 5 parts she needed. All that was missing was the lance.

A glance at her wristwatch told her that it was just after 2 pm, which meant that she still had half a day to find that very part. With the new, improved relic scanner they'd had for a while now, that shouldn't be a problem.

Thrilled that she had finally found a great gift idea, Elenya quickly packed her bag with her drill and enough water to last her through the day. Arlo's stern words about staying hydrated were forever embedded in her brain. However, the thought of taking some food with her didn't occur to her, as she could hardly wait to get Arlo's gift.

He will get the best birthday present ever from her!

~~~~~~

Exhausted and resigned, Elenya stood deep in the Abandoned Ruin, surrounded by stone and ore. Sweat trickled down her back. It was now 10 p.m. and she still hadn’t found the missing lance. Only other relic parts and lots of iron ore, which she could use very well, were piled up in her bag.

Although she had grown accustomed to mining by now, eight hours at a stretch was not to be underestimated. Despite the drill being much faster than the pickaxe, it was heavier, and she felt the burning sensation in her arms. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep the drill steady, and her body was demanding a rest.

Damn , if she didn't find the relic soon, she would probably really have to switch to roses. Which she absolutely didn't want to do.

Daring one last try, she activated her relic scanner and looked around in all directions. She was about to give up completely when finally, far in the back, the eagerly longed-for reading appeared.

Soldier with Lance Piece 3

She had found it! With a soft, delighted squeal, she raised her drill and, forgetting her exhaustion for the moment, drilled her way to the relic.

It took almost another half hour before she was finally able to triumphantly collect the lance. But now she finally had it, and just the thought of Arlo's hopefully joyful face was worth all the effort.

Now truly exhausted, she pocketed the relic and made her way outside. It was just after 11 p.m. when she finally got back to her workshop and her overtired brain just managed to remind her to put the relic parts into the recovery machine so it could work overnight.

After a quick shower - because even in her tired state she didn't want to go to bed as dirty as she was - she snuggled under her blanket and was asleep within seconds.

~~~~~~

Elenya awoke the next morning to a ray of sunlight tickling her nose. Grumbling softly, she buried her face in her pillow and tried to go back to sleep when she realised what that sunbeam meant. Startled, she shot up.

Oh no, how late was it already?

A glance at the clock next to the bedroom door told her that it was already 10 a.m., and for a moment, she just stared at the clock.

Had she seriously slept for 10 hours? This had never happened to her before! And then, of all times, when she had absolutely no time for it. She still had to finish Arlo's present after all.

As quickly as she could, she finished the most necessary things in the bathroom, and then rushed outside to check on her recovery machine. Fortunately, it had finished overnight, and in front of her now stood another model of the soldier. It was then that she finally noticed what she hadn't thought of at all yesterday.

The thing was huge. Well, not huge huge, it just reached her hip, but definitely too big to just put it in your room. Where was Arlo supposed to put it? His room at headquarters was small, but cosy and not made for such big statues.

With a deep sigh, she raked through her hair. What was she supposed to do now? She had been so sure she had found the perfect gift, after all.

Desperately, she ran through her options in her mind, but she couldn't think of anything. Only the loud growling of her stomach brought her out of her thoughts and she realised how hungry she was. She had not eaten anything since breakfast yesterday, after all.

Continuing to think about gift possibilities, she went back into the house to make herself something to eat when her eyes fell on the small llama figurine standing on her tea table behind the sofa. Oaks had given it to her after she had helped him build his own little booth to sell his carvings…

That was it! She would just carve a smaller version of the soldier! Arlo would surely be just as happy about it as he was about the original.

Buzzing with excitement, she quickly grabbed an apple from the bowl on her small dining table and scurried back to her work table, far too eager to make herself something properly to eat. She still had a good 12 hours to carve and paint the soldier. And if she tried really hard, she could even make the arms and legs flexible. She would only need small joints for that, or maybe even just....

Completely absorbed in her work, the day passed by unnoticed for Elenya.

The first two attempts she made ended up in the firewood pile shortly after, but then she finally got the hang of it and gleefully carved two arms, two legs, a head and the torso. She forged the lance out of copper to make it look more realistic, and before she knew it, she was painting the individual body parts in the glow of the small lantern at her work table.

While doing this, she had to stop every now and then because her hands were shaking terribly, but she tried not to let that distract her. She was so close to completing the gift that she couldn't take a break now. Instead, she took another sip of the apple juice she had gotten in between and continued with the delicate work.

Shortly before 12 p.m., she was finally finished. Proudly, she looked at her work. The original relic stood right next to it, and she had to say she couldn't have done better. The two looked absolutely identical.

Well, except for the size. Then again, that was the whole point of her work.

Satisfied with her work, she wiped her face in exhaustion and then stood up on trembling legs. A slight headache had spread behind her forehead and she just wanted to go to bed. A voice in the back of her head begged her to please eat something, but she was far too exhausted for that. She just managed to set an alarm for tomorrow - because there was no way she would oversleep on Arlo's birthday - and then she slipped away into dreamland.

~~~~~~

The next morning, her headache was gone, but the trembling in her hands continued. She was nauseous and her stomach protested the lack of food. But she could not eat anything now. She wanted to invite Arlo to a leisurely breakfast at Django's, where they could enjoy some quality time together. They hadn't had time for themselves in a while, so she didn't want to spoil her appetite beforehand.

And she could probably hold out until then. She would quickly freshen up in the bathroom, change into something nice, and then make her way up to the Civil Corps headquarters. That would take about an hour, but at this point, it probably wouldn't make much of a difference.

However, the trouble began as soon as she got out of bed. The moment she stood upright, an overwhelming dizziness took hold of her, causing her to grab onto the bedpost for support. It lasted for almost a minute before the room stopped spinning. Relieved, she let go of the bedpost.

Okay, that seemed a bit excessive to her now. She hadn't eaten for a day, her body should be able to handle that. Besides, it would all be worth it. She couldn't wait to see Arlo's face when she gave him her present!

With the image of Arlo's shining blue eyes in her mind, she got ready as planned, ignoring the warning signs of her body, and after a glass of water to calm her stomach, she headed outside.

And there, on her worktable, was the little soldier, just as she had left it. It looked even better in the daylight and she was really proud of her work. The model was about a third of the size of the original, so it fit perfectly in Arlo's room.

As carefully as she could with her shaking hands, she slipped the figurine into her bag. Time to bring Arlo his present.

~~~~~~

Completely out of breath, Elenya arrived at the top of the hill. Never before had the way up to the headquarters been so difficult for her. The dizziness from earlier had returned on the way and left her completely disoriented. At times she couldn't even see the path in front of her, but fortunately she didn't have to. After almost two years in the small town, she knew the streets like the back of her hand and thus didn't let herself be distracted. Just a little more and then she would finally be able to eat something.

In front of the orange doors that now were the last thing to separate her from Arlo, she took a few deep breaths to appear as normal as possible and then pushed them open. She tried to be as quiet as possible in case Arlo decided to sleep in for once, but she needn't have bothered. To her surprise - or not really, they were talking about Arlo here after all - he was already sitting behind his desk going through some documents.

Leave it to the Civil Corps captain to work on his own birthday.

Unnoticed by him, she approached his desk with quiet steps, a loving smile on her lips. However, he seemed oblivious to her presence, even when she stood directly in front of him. For a moment, she contented herself with observing him. She let her eyes glide over the tousled red hair that hung slightly in his forehead, continuing over his long lashes and the rest of his handsome face until her gaze lingered on his lips. She could see them silently forming the words that were written on the paper. The mere sight of that beloved face released a tension in her that she hadn't even noticed. Unfortunately, this also had the effect of bringing back the dizziness and she decided not to postpone their breakfast together any longer. With fond, amused words, she addressed him.

"Didn't I tell you to take the day off?"

Startled, his head snapped up to her and his eyes instantly began to light up as he realised who was standing there in front of him.

"Elenya! Sweetheart, you're here. I didn't hear you at all." Faster than she could look, he had rounded his desk and his wonderful strong arms pulled her into a warm embrace.

With a happy sigh, she snuggled against his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. There was simply no place more wonderful than in Arlo's arms. She could have stayed there forever.

"I'm so happy you're here. How long have you been standing there?" Curious eyes greeted her as she lifted her head, not leaving his embrace though, and lovingly, she smiled at him.

"Not long. I didn't want to disturb you. But I hope you don't plan to work all day. After all, I have something nice planned for you."

Sheepishly, he grinned down at her. "I'm sorry. Mayor Gale had given me these documents yesterday, asking me to look them over when I had time, so I thought..." He trailed off.

"Did he mention they were urgent?" She raised an eyebrow challengingly, and with delight, she noticed a faint blush spreading across his cheeks.

"No..." Embarrassed, he disengaged a hand from her back and rested it against his neck instead. A soft laugh escaped her at the cute sight, it was always nice to see when she could catch him off-guard, but her painfully contracting stomach quickly brought her back to her plan.

"Does this mean I'll have you to myself all day?" Hopefully, she looked at him.

Immediately his gaze softened and the hand on the back of his neck gently cupped her cheek instead. "Yes, as long as you want, sweetheart. I'm all yours. Whatever you have planned."

"Good, because I want you to have a really nice birthday. Starting with a birthday kiss, if that's what you want." Arlo's eyes darkened at her words and his face lowered to hers.

"I would never say no to something like that." His words brushed against her lips like a soft whisper, and she closed the remaining distance between them. His warm lips greeted hers and for a moment she lost herself in the deep kiss, her dizziness and racing heart receding into the background.

Eventually, they had to come up for air.

She slowly broke away from him, careful not to let her dizziness show, and smiled lovingly up at him.

"Happy birthday, Arlo, I love you. I also have something for you." With trembling hands, she reached into her bag to carefully pull out the small replica of the soldier.

Damn, she really needed to eat something soon.

Taking a deep breath to hide the telltale trembling of her hands, she then held the statue out to Arlo.

Wide-eyed, Arlo looked at her gift.

"Is that...?" Carefully, he took the little soldier from her hand, but she had more and more trouble following his movements and words.

Did he like her gift?

She couldn't tell. She could see his mouth moving, but the sudden roaring in her ears drowned it all out and black dots had begun to dance through her field of vision.

Was that a smile on his lips?

Something that looked like her name left Arlo's lips and his brows furrowed in concern, but the shadows over her field of vision grew larger and larger until nothing remained but darkness.

Her legs buckled and the last thing she noticed were strong arms catching her.

~~~~~~

When Elenya came to, she was lying on a soft surface, her legs propped up on several pillows. Someone patted her cheek lightly and called her name anxiously.

"Elenya, sweetheart, open your eyes. Come on, please."

What had happened? Where was she?

"Elenya, please." The voice became more desperate and with great effort she tried to follow the request. She didn't know what was going on, but she didn't want the warm voice to worry any further either. With difficulty, her eyelids fluttered open.

"Oh, thank God." A relieved sigh escaped the red and beige blur above her, and the hand that had been patting her cheek, gently cupped her face instead.

The hand was wonderfully warm.

"Sweetheart?"

The blur above her slowly focused into a face and she could make out Arlo's concerned look.

"What...?" She tried to ask what had happened, but the right words escaped her before she could say them. A veil lay over her mind, keeping her from grasping a clear thought, but fortunately Arlo didn't need to hear any more.

"You suddenly fainted. What happened? Are you hurt? Or sick? You feel slightly warm and your heart is racing."

Elenya could hear the words, hear the deep concern in them, but the meaning behind them remained hidden from her. Her body felt so heavy and without her noticing, her eyes fell shut again.

"No, no, no! Keep your eyes open. Come on, sweetie. You can do it." The patting of her cheek was back.

A low grumble escaped her and if she'd had the strength, she would have pushed the offending hand away from her cheek. Why wouldn't he let her sleep? She was so tired and nothing made sense anymore. Surely the world would be much clearer after some sleep.

But Arlo didn't seem to see it that way. He now started to shake her shoulder too and the tone of his voice became more and more alarmed. She still couldn't understand what he was saying, but she didn't like the panicked tone and wished she could do something to alleviate his fears.

What was he scared of?

But before she could open her eyes and ask, a terrible pain stabbed through her stomach and with a whimper she put her trembling hand over it.

"What's the matter? Is it your stomach? Please, talk to me." A large, warm hand settled over hers on her stomach and almost instantly the pain subsided. Instead, nausea set in and a loud grumble rang out, which her addled brain had trouble placing.

Arlo froze beside her at the sound. "Sweetheart?" he asked her hesitantly. "When was the last time you ate?"

Confused, she did open her eyes now. Arlo's still deeply concerned gaze greeted her.

Eaten ? That's right, there was this thing.... Weren't they going to have breakfast together?

She tried to find an answer to his question, but this time, too, the words escaped her before she could find them. Panic settled in.

What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she think ?

Helplessly, she looked at Arlo.

"Shit! Okay, I'll just get you some juice. Keep your eyes open, okay? Don't fall asleep, I'll be right back." Hastily, Arlo jumped up and disappeared from her sight.

Juice? What was she supposed to do with that?

Her confusion only seemed to grow stronger with each passing minute, and with it her panic, so she tried to focus on what Arlo had told her to do.

Keep eyes open. That should be easy, after all.

…

Or not. Her head began to throb the longer her eyes were open and the world blurred before her, worsening her nausea.

Elenya's eyes threatened to close just as Arlo thankfully reappeared in front of her, a large glass of orange liquid in his hand.

"Here, drink this, you should feel a lot better in a second." Gently, his left hand slid under her head, lifting it slightly, then held the glass to her lips with his other hand.

The thought of getting something in her stomach made her feel even more nauseous, but Arlo didn't let that stop him. He persistently tipped the glass until she surrendered and drank the sweet juice.

The juice burned like fire in her stomach, but the more she drank, the less nauseous she felt. Arlo held the glass to her lips until it was empty and then gently placed her head back on the pillow beneath her. His hand didn't go far, though, and slid down her neck until his fingers pressed gently against her pulse.

Without breaking the contact with her skin, he lowered himself onto the coffee table in front of the sofa on which she was lying, his worried blue eyes watching her face intently and she just stared back. Lost herself in the beautiful blue she had instantly fallen in love with and always managed to calm her down. So much so that at first she didn't even notice how her heartbeat slowed down and how the trembling of her hands began to subside a little.

It wasn't until Arlo let out a relieved sigh and his tense shoulders fell, that she noticed that the veil over her thoughts had also thinned and her brain was finally starting to function again.

"Arlo..." Like a mere breath, his name left her lips and with a trembling hand she tried to reach for him. Unfortunately, she still had no strength at all and limply it threatened to fall back onto the couch.

But Arlo, the wonderful, ever observant man that he was, quickly reached for hers with his free hand and squeezed it gently.

"I'm here. It's all right." The hand on her pulse slid up to her cheek and gently his rough thumb caressed her cheek.

"I'm so sorry..." With horror, she realised what had just happened and ashamed, she turned her face into his palm, trying to hide from him.

Oh God, how could she have let something like this happen?

She had thought she had more time before she had to eat something, but her body must have had enough of her bullshit. She had hoped for a leisurely breakfast with Arlo, but instead, she had fainted before his eyes and frightened him. What a way to ruin his birthday.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..." She tried to sit up, wanting to show him that she was better now, but immediately the world started spinning and with a groan she fell back.

Oh God...

"Woah, hey, don't move!" Startled, Arlo caught her head just before it could uncontrollably fall back onto the couch and gently placed it back onto the pillow.

"Please stay down. Your blood sugar must have been dangerously low. The juice will only help for a short time. We really need to give you something real to eat. When was the last time you ate something?" Still full of worry, he looked at her questioningly and now that she could think a little better again, she tried to answer his question.

"I... I had an apple yesterday around noon..."

Arlo's eyes widened. "And the day before yesterday?"

She thought hard. Right, what had she actually eaten before that? She had eaten breakfast and then thought about what she could give Arlo, and then....

She was horrified to realise that she hadn't eaten anything for almost two days, instead of just one, as she had thought this morning. Oh God, how could she have forgotten?

"Elenya?" Arlo seemed to have noticed her shock, for he worriedly guided her averted gaze back to him with his hand on her cheek. Ashamedly, she looked at him.

"I had breakfast the day before yesterday..."

He looked back in complete horror as he came to the same conclusion as she. "You haven't eaten for two days?! What on earth were you thinking!" His horror quickly turned to anger and agitated he jumped up. “How could you be so careless?!”

In distress, she involuntarily flinched, and tears welled up in her eyes. She knew she deserved his anger, but she still felt weak and frightened from the whole ordeal, with a terrible headache pulsating behind her forehead. The tears spilled over.

Immediately Arlo was back at her side, his warm hands gently cupping her cheeks and wiping away the tears.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. It's going to be alright. I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I'm just so incredibly angry at you. But that can wait. I'm going to make you something to eat first and then you'll start feeling better. Okay?" His words and touch were so gentle that only more tears flowed from her eyes.

She didn't deserve his kindness. She had wanted to give him a nice birthday and instead he now had to cook for her and take care of her because of her own stupidity.

A sob escaped her.

"I'm sorry, Arlo... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"Shh, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay. Don't worry about anything. I'll take care of you," he whispered, gently wiping away her tears and showering her with love until her tears finally dried up.

Unfortunately, her emotional breakdown left her even weaker, and her eyes threatened to close.

"Oh no, don't close your eyes! You can't sleep yet. You have to eat something first, sweetheart. Come on, I'll help you sit up. Maybe it will be a little easier for you," he pleaded.

Elenya slowly opened her eyes again and looked tiredly at Arlo. She felt weak and dazed, but his words and loving touch made her feel safe and secure. She nodded weakly and let him help her sit up.

Arlo supported her carefully, not letting go until he was sure she could sit on her own. "Okay?" he asked gently.

“Yeah… I think so.” She still felt like sleeping, but doing so sitting upright was a lot less comfortable, so she should be fine for now. Even if her head protested strongly at her new position.

Arlo smiled lovingly at her and gently stroked her cheek. "Good. I will just make you something to eat now, okay? If you need anything or you feel lightheaded again, call me immediately, alright?"

She smiled back and felt her heart fill with love and gratitude. She sometimes really didn't know how she deserved someone like Arlo.

After a soft kiss to her forehead, he headed over to the small kitchen at the back of the room, beneath the platform leading to Remi’s room and soon after, she could hear the soft clinking of bowls and pans.

For the next few minutes she let the sounds envelop her, reassured with the knowledge that Arlo was near her. As long as he was there, nothing could happen to her, even if she herself wasn’t even able to lift her arms right now. She had really put herself completely out of action.

Her peace was unfortunately disturbed, though, when goose bumps began to spread all over her body. She suddenly felt terribly cold and her body started shivering.

God, what was wrong with her now?

Desperately, she wrapped her arms around her upper body, hoping to retain some warmth, but it felt as if there was not a bit of warmth left in her body. She hadn't really wanted to disturb Arlo, but the shivering was using up more energy than she had available right now, so she called out weakly for him.

"Arlo?"

Almost immediately, the redhead was back at her side.

"Yes, darling? What's wrong? Are you feeling dizzy or nauseous? What do you need?" Concerned, his blue eyes looked at her.

"Cold..." Was the only thing she could get out, but thankfully Arlo didn't need to hear more. Full of worry, his gaze wandered over her trembling body, seeing the goosebumps on her bare arms.

"Oh no, wait a minute. I'll be right back."

Quickly Arlo disappeared from her field of vision and to her aching, overtired brain it felt as if he had only been gone for a second before he returned with a grey bundle.

"Here, this should warm you up. I like to wear it when it's cold."

He carefully unfolded a grey sweater and held it out in front of her. "Let's get you warmed up, sweetheart," he said softly, his voice filled with concern. Gently, he helped her sit up a little straighter and guided her arms into the sleeves of the sweater. With each movement, he made sure to be gentle and mindful of her weakened state.

As he pulled the sweater over her shoulders, she instantly felt the comforting warmth enveloping her body. The soft fabric provided a shield against the cold that had been seeping into her bones. However, she still couldn't help but shiver, her body struggling to regulate its temperature.

Noticing her continued trembling, Arlo's brows furrowed with worry. "Hang on, sweetheart," he reassured her, his voice filled with determination. "I'll make sure you're truly warm." He vanished again and came back with a soft blanket and tenderly draped it over her shoulders, tucking it around her for added warmth.

As the cosy sweater and the comforting blanket cocooned her, Elenya inhaled deeply, taking in the familiar scent of Arlo that lingered on the fabric. The warm, earthy fragrance had a calming effect on her frayed nerves, easing her worries and bringing a sense of security.

The combination of the enveloping warmth and Arlo's scent had a soothing effect on her. It even managed to ease a little bit of her headache and with a happy sigh, she snuggled a little deeper into the softness.

“Better?” The soft and loving smile Arlo gave her warmed her even more and grateful, she smiled back.

“Yes, thank you. I feel warmer now, and your scent... it's incredibly calming." She closed her eyes for a moment, savouring the feeling of his presence surrounding her.

Smiling proudly, Arlo leaned down to place another soft kiss on her forehead, his lips lingering briefly against her skin. "I'm glad, sweetheart. You're safe and warm here with me."

With a final, tender touch to her cheek, Arlo walked back towards the kitchen, leaving Elenya filled with love and warmth.

Oh, she knew that. She even knew it back when she talked to Arlo for the first time. At first she had thought it was because he was the captain of the Civil Corps and thus radiated a certain underlying sense of security, but she quickly realised that there was much more to it. Just hearing his warm voice filled her with a deep calmness and his strong presence magically drew her in. She had rarely felt so safe and protected as when he was there.

For the next ten minutes, Elenya struggled to keep her eyes open. First, the comfortable warmth and Arlo's scent invited her to sleep, and second, her aching head begged her to please close her eyes. But she resisted. She had already ruined Arlo's birthday enough; she couldn't scare him again by falling asleep again. Besides, she didn't want to wake up disoriented like that again. The feeling of not being able to think properly was one of her worst fears. That was also one of the reasons why she never drank alcohol.

Fortunately, she didn't have to hold out much longer, and Arlo came back to her with two full plates. He carefully placed them on the coffee table in front of her and then disappeared into the kitchen again to bring her another full glass of orange juice.

Curiously, she looked at the plate in front of her. On it piled up a stack of crepes with fruit sauce, which looked really delicious. For himself, Arlo had made some crepes with mushrooms and cheese, which looked equally good.

"Here, sweetheart, I hope you like them. I'm not as good a cook as you, but I think I can make some decent crepes." Chuckling softly, he carefully sat down to her left and seeking his closeness, she leaned against his shoulder.

"These look wonderful. Thank you so much, Arlo. I'm just sorry I made you cook on your birthday..." Apologetically, she looked up at him, but Arlo waved it off.

Gently, he cupped her cheek with his left hand and stroked it soothingly with his thumb.

"Don't worry about it, okay? I love taking care of you. Don't get me wrong, I'm still furiously mad at you, but for now, I'm just glad you're with me and not unconscious in a ruin somewhere. Now let's eat. You need to get your strength back." With gentle movements, he helped her free herself from the blanket and then handed her a fork he had brought with him.

Unfortunately, her arms were still so weak, and her hands were shaking so much that she could barely hold it. Quickly, Arlo's hand closed around hers so she wouldn't drop it.

"Oh, sweetie, you're still shaking so much. Come, drink some more juice. I think you still need a lot more sugar." Gently, he took the fork from her again and handed her the orange juice instead. She could hold the heavy glass even less, of course, but Arlo's large, warm hand closed securely around hers, and with his help, she managed to bring the glass to her lips.

In amall sips she drank the sweet liquid. This time, too, the juice burned like fire in her empty stomach, and she had to force herself to swallow. As she sipped the juice, Arlo's concerned gaze never left her face. He could see the effort it took for her to consume even a small amount, but he remained patient and supportive by her side.

Once she finished the juice, Arlo set the glass aside and picked up a forkful of the crepes from her plate. He held it up to her lips, urging her to eat.

"Come on, sweety, take a bite. You need to regain your strength," Arlo encouraged softly, his eyes filled with affectionate concern.

Elenya hesitated for a moment, feeling shame creep up her body at the prospect of needing to be fed, but she trusted Arlo. She opened her mouth, allowing him to feed her the delicious bite of crepes. The flavours danced on her taste buds, and a faint smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

Maybe it was because she hadn't eaten in so long, but she had never eaten crepes so good. Arlo surprised her again and again with his cooking skills.

As Arlo continued to feed her small bites, she couldn't help but feel grateful for his unwavering support. Despite her mistakes and shortcomings, he remained by her side, taking care of her in the most loving way possible.

"You're doing great, sweetheart. Just a few more bites, and you'll start feeling better," he whispered, his voice filled with encouragement.

Elenya nodded weakly, a mixture of gratitude and exhaustion evident in her eyes. She couldn't express in words how much she appreciated Arlo's care and understanding. It was in moments like these that she realised how lucky she was to have him by her side.

As she savoured the last bite of her meal, she leaned against Arlo's shoulder, feeling a sense of contentment wash over her. The combination of food and Arlo's comforting presence had worked wonders on her weary body.

"Thank you, Arlo," she whispered softly, her words carrying a depth of emotion.

Arlo's arm wrapped around her, pulling her closer to him. He placed a gentle kiss on her temple and whispered, "You don't have to thank me, Elenya. I’m always here to take care of you."

Overjoyed, she snuggled even closer to Arlo's side, while he began to eat his breakfast as well, not loosening his arm around her shoulders.

In the pleasant silence that followed, Elenya felt more and more energy returning to her body. The headache remained, unfortunately, but her hands finally stopped shaking and her arms no longer felt as if they were made of jelly.

Relieved at this development, she wrapped her arms around Arlo's waist and pressed herself a little closer to his warm body. Arlo immediately put his fork aside at her movement and gently lifted her face with his now free hand. Relieved eyes met hers.

"Hey, feeling better?" Attentively, he watched her.

"Yes, much better. My head hurts terribly, but I don't feel so weak anymore. Thank you." She couldn't help but thank him again. Almost all her life she had to take care of herself, so even after almost a year of relationship, sometimes it was still hard for her to accept Arlo's care for what it was. Love.

"I'm glad to hear that, but I don't like that about your head." Concern mingled back into his gaze and his hand on her cheek went up into her hair to gently massage her head.

"How about we lay down in my bed and you rest for a bit?" Arlo suggested, his voice filled with concern. "Hopefully, your head will feel better if you sleep for a while." He leaned forward, pressing warm lips against her forehead, lingering there for a moment. With a relieved sigh, Elenya closed her eyes, feeling a sense of comfort wash over her. The soft, circular movements on her scalp eased a part of her headache, and Arlo's gentle touch seemed to dispel any pain she felt.

As she contemplated the idea of sleeping, a wave of guilt washed over her. Uncertainly, she looked back up at him. "But it's your birthday... I can't just sleep away half the day."

"Don't worry about that. As long as you're here with me, I don't need more," Arlo reassured her, his soft lips now pressing against hers. The warmth of his kiss enveloped her, and she responded with equal affection. Her heart overflowed with love for Arlo, the wonderful man who chose to love her so gently.

Breaking away from the kiss, Arlo looked at her with gentleness in his eyes. "Come on, let's lie down for a bit."

He stood up and gently slid his arms under her knees and back, carefully lifting her into his arms. Elenya couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort and security as he cradled her against his chest. Resting her head on his shoulder, she felt the rhythmic beat of his heart lulling her into a state of tranquillity.

With unhurried steps filled with tenderness, Arlo carried her towards his bedroom. He carefully laid her down on the bed, making sure she was nestled in the soft blankets and pillows. Then, he helped her out of her uncomfortable jeans, before removing his own pants and snuggling up with her under the covers. She found herself quickly enveloped in his strong arms, her head pillowed on his chest just above his heart, while their legs entwined.

Arlo's right hand came up to gently massage her head, instantly relieving all tension from her body. However, he wasn't quite ready to let her sleep yet, and with his next question, the tension resurfaced.

"Elenya," he began softly, his voice filled with worry, "before you fall asleep, will you please tell me why you didn't eat for two days? How could this have happened? You scared the hell out of me." The arm around her shoulder tightened, and Elenya, feeling ashamed, hid her face in his chest.

It was never in her mind to scare him like that, and she couldn't quite tell if her explanation would only make things worse or better.

She tried to look at him apologetically, but his hand continued the soothing massage, so she settled for speaking against his chest. Taking a deep breath, she gathered the strength to explain.

"I'm so sorry, Arlo... I really wanted you to have a wonderful birthday, including the best birthday present ever..." She explained how she had spent almost an entire day in the abandoned ruins, followed by another day making a smaller version of the soldier. She confessed that she had become too caught up in her work and the excitement of finding the perfect gift, completely forgetting to eat.

Arlo's hand had stopped massaging her head during her explanation, so she lifted her head to look at him uncertainly. His expression was unreadable, leaving her anxious.

"And this morning... I thought I had more time before I had to eat. I was going to have a leisurely breakfast with you, but... everything got out of hand."

Arlo's expression softened as he heard her voice breaking on the last words. He cupped her cheek tenderly with his hand. "Oh sweetheart, your well-being is more important than any celebration. Why did you push yourself so hard?"

Tears welled up in Elenya's eyes as she spoke with a trembling voice. "I don't know, Arlo. I got caught up in my work, trying to make everything perfect. And I guess I forgot about taking care of myself. I didn't realise it had been two days until now, and I'm so sorry. I really didn’t want to ruin your birthday."

A single tear escaped her eyes, and Arlo gently wiped it away. "Oh sweetheart, you didn't ruin anything. I'm just glad you're okay. But please, never do anything like that again. I don't ever want to see you fainting in my arms again, especially not because of something that can be easily avoided. It hurts me to see you like this." He held her gaze seriously, yet full of love. "But I might have an idea that could make today the best birthday ever and ease my worries for you."

Elenya's ears perked up at his words, and she propped herself up slightly on his chest to get a better look at him. Curiosity filled her voice as she asked, "What is it?"

"Marry me," he replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Her breath caught in her throat.

"I...what?"

"Marry me. You would make me the happiest man in the world, and at the same time, I could always take care of you from now on. Can make sure you eat a proper breakfast and don't go to bed without dinner. I can't imagine anything better than waking up next to you every morning and falling asleep next to you in the evening. I want you by my side for the rest of my life. So, will you marry me?"

Speechless, she looked up into Arlo's hopeful face. He wanted to marry her! She could hardly believe it. Her heart raced in her chest and she struggled to find the right words through the resulting throbbing in her head.

"Arlo... I... I don't know... I don't know what to say."

A loving smile settled on his lips. "How about yes?"

"Oh God, yes. Yes! Of course I'll marry you!" Overjoyed, she pulled herself up against him and passionately pressed her lips to his. Never in her life had she been so happy as at that moment. Even her exhaustion and that damn headache couldn't dampen her joy.

Arlo returned her kiss with equal passion, his hands gently cradling her face. The kiss deepened, and for a moment, they existed solely in their love for each other. Only when they needed to catch their breath did they break away, but Elenya kept her head close, looking deeply into his beloved blue eyes.

"I love you, Arlo. So much. You make me so incredibly happy."

"I love you too, Elenya."

For a moment they lost themselves in each other's eyes, but then Arlo's face grew serious again and concern mingled back into his gaze.

"Come on, lie back down, sweetie. I can see how much your head hurts. You need to rest."

With a sigh, she agreed with Arlo. The longer she kept her head up, the stronger the throbbing became, so she let him manipulate her until she was safely back in his arms, now lying almost completely on top of him, her head buried in his shoulder. His left arm was wrapped tightly around her shoulders while his right gently massaged her head again, hoping to soothe her enough to fall asleep.

And surrounded by Arlo's warmth and scent, she felt herself drifting closer to sleep. However, an urgent question intruded on her mind, demanding an answer.

"Arlo?"

"Yes, darling?"

"How did you like my present, by the way? I didn't really catch that earlier..."

A soft chuckle rumbled through the chest beneath her.

"I love it. You did a wonderful job. But then, you are an incredible builder. My sweet, incredible builder."He pressed a warm kiss to the top of her head. "But now sleep, sweetheart. I will look after you."

And so she did. Enveloped in Arlo's strong arms, his warm chest beneath her and surrounded by his scent, she could think of no better place to sleep.

#bad things happen bingo #bad things happen bingo: forgetting to eat #my time at portia #mtap #my time at portia arlo #mtap arlo #mtap female builder #mtap builder elenya #hurt/comfort #fainting #arlo my love

10 notes · View notes

olsenmyolsen · 1 year

Text

Waltz

Part 35 of On The Inside With Elizabeth Olsen

Word Count: ~4K

GrOrange??

masterlist

Y/N POV

"I swear you don't even like candy."

"That's not true!"

"Well, I've never seen you eat it!"

"You've seen me eat ice cream."

"First off Pumpkin Ice Cream and Liz-"

"Well, as my girlfriend, I know you've seen the pic of-"

"Besides the Blue Airhead for that one movie."

As I walk up and down the aisles of the local H-E-B, I hear a huff through my AirPods. "Ugh- well... That's because I like having perfect teeth." I hum. "That's true. Your pearly white smile is one of the most stunning things on this planet." I hear a small laugh on the other side of the phone. "But that doesn't mean you can't live every once in a while, Liz. Cavities come all! Plus, I know you celebrities have freaky dentists who fix everything in one week!" I pick up an enormous mixed bag of chocolates and begin inspecting it.

"That is not true! My body and teeth are like this because I take care of them- don't you dare roll your eyes at me!"

I drop the bag of goodies into my cart and quickly scan the area around me. Not a Liz in sight. "How did you know I was doing that??" I ask, a little scared. Not gonna lie.

I hear Liz laugh again. "Every time you go to roll your eyes, you always take a quick breath in. I heard it through the phone." My mouth opens slightly in thought. "And now your mouth is open. Ooh, and let me guess?! You have your tongue being squeezed between your teeth!"

"Stop doing that!!" I notice I shout a little too loud as a woman books it out of the same aisle as me. "You're a freak," I whisper into the phone call. "Takes one to know one. Why are we whispering?"

"Because I looked like a freak."

"Oh well, that's nothing new." A loud laugh echoes through my AirPods. As good as a burn that was, I can never ever pout or faux being mad when that angelic laugh worms its way into my ears. "I'm sorry, Y/N."

"Yeah, yeah."

I pick up another mixed bag of candies. Sour this time. "Warheads, yay or nay?" "I wouldn't know." I huff. "Okay." I put the Warheads down and pick up a small bag. "Sour straws?" "Are they good?" "You're really not being a big help right now. Because, of course, they're good!"

"Then sure. Get what you want. This was your idea."

I place the bag of sour straws into the cart. "That sounds like you don't like it." My smile falters a bit.

"I like it, but babe, we're only renting this place for a short period of time while I film."

"Right..." I say, weaving my cart around people in the middle of the aisle. "That's why I want to do something for the time we're here—I mean, Liz, Halloween's literally in two days. Let's give those kids one more extra house to hit up for some candy! It'll be fun!" I stop the cart in the frozen section. "I'm looking at some very unhealthy frozen burritos right now, by the way."

"Please don't get those." She begs. "And you're right. Let's be welcoming and make the most of the time in this house."

I close the freezer door with the box of burritos in hand. "Thank you!" I pause. "Is there a reason you were hesitant? I mean, I know you were weeks ago when I suggested it. But you seemed fine about it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pressure you or anything."

I feel a sense of pride wash over the conversation as I ask these questions. Liz and I have talked about being open and honest time and time again, and here we are doing it. I'm proud of us.

Therapy helps but not as much as when Liz tells me why she was upset three Fridays ago when the waitress we had for lunch touched my arm one too many times. Or how I was honest the previous month and told her that I kept my TikTok but deleted Twitter and privated Instagram. Not because of her but because listening to strangers opinions wasn't doing me any good.

"Oh, honey. No. No, you didn't! I think..." I hear Liz sigh. "I think my mind jumped to tricking myself into thinking we were moving too fast, but that's literally the definition of us plus..." She stops again, worrying me a bit more as I hit the checkout lane. Hmm, busy tonight. "The other day, I got hit with a feeling. It was like dejavú, but it wasn't?? I don't know. But I was reminded of living with Robbie, and I think without realizing it, I was letting it eat at me and affect my mood. So I'm sorry for that..."

"That's okay. You don't have to apologize, Liz." I reply. "How are you doing now? Do you still have the feeling or-"

"No. I don't." She clears her throat. "Because when I critically thought about it for more than two seconds with a clear head. You're not him and will never be. And I love that. Making the most of this time together. Testing out the waters of living together and being with you. That is what I want."

"I can feel my cheeks getting warm now because of you, Miss Elizabeth Chase." Liz laughs into the phone as I scan the wall of temptation they put at checkout. "God, you're such a dork. But you're my dork. I love that about you."

"Is that the only thing?" I grab two bags of Corn Nuts, Twix, Sour Patch Kids, and only Blue Airheads adding them to the cart of healthy food and junk food.

Lizzie's side vs. my side.

I literally never had salmon before she made it for me, so I'm learning.

"You just want to hear me praise you."

"You're right. I didn't get enough last night!" I wiggle my eyebrows to me and only me.

"Oh my god! You totally do have a praise kink!" Liz yells into my ears, forcing me to get startled and blush all at once. I turn around to make sure no one can hear me or saw me jump. Luckily everyone is in their own world. Well, except for the cashier, who is staring at me.

Why is she waving me forward?

Oh, wait...

I'm next in line.

"No, I don't! Also checking out now. I'll call you in the car. Love you!"

"Checking who out?? Oh wait- No- We're not done with this conversation."

"Yes, we are, and maybe I do!"

"Love you too! Y/N-"

I quickly end the call and take out an AirPod to try and appear as less rude as I could be to the friendly cashier. "Hi. Sorry." I offer a kind smile as I finish putting the groceries onto the conveyor belt. "It's alright." She sends back a smile and begins beeping my food. Giving my mind and hands some extra seconds of free time, I turn around to glance at the (mostly) bullshit media magazines.

How Long Is ScarJo Going To Hide Post-Baby Birth? - US Weekly

35 Of The Hottest Celebs Under 35 - Gossip Daily

Jamie Lee Curtis and Daughter Open Up About Ruby's Journey Coming Out as Trans - People Magazine

First Look at Phoebe Bridgers Out With New Beau Since Split With Paul Mescal. We're Just As Surprised As You! - E!

I trail my eyes across other media-targeted magazines before returning to the stupid Gossip Daily one. Not because I care but because a picture of my girlfriend is on the cover in the bottom left-hand corner.

She looks beautiful and is smiling, a smile that makes her glow. But this is from a movie premiere, not for a magazine shoot. I begin to flip through before stopping and scoffing in disgust at how my friends like Aubrey and Scarlett and how my Liz are treated. I turn back to the card machine and cashier.

"Not a fan?" I look up from searching for my card to the cashier whose name tag reads Georgia. "What?" I ask, unclear of what she's talking about. "The magazine?" She points to the one I held. I shake my head. "Not really." Georgia makes an agreeable hum before giving me the total. Sometimes I forget how expensive everything is on this side of the country. The beeping of the machine happens as I pull out my card. "Have a good one." She hands me my receipt. "And enjoy those gross burritos!" I laugh. "I plan on it!" She laughs back before I turn away to walk out of the store and into the warm dusk of the parking lot.

As the cart rattles along the asphalt, I'm pulled from my phone when I hear a group of teenage girls laughing.

Why is that sound so scary? I think this to myself every time I'm out somewhere and hear a group laugh. I'm older than them. My life is good, so why am I scared??

I take a quick look as they walk by. One of the girls must've smelt my fear because, within a second, she is up and looking my way. I send a shy smile that gets returned before her eyes widen as I pass by.

I know what she saw.

Elizabeth Olsens girlfriend. Her assistant. Her new musically inclined partner.

As I put a little skip in my step, I heard a hushed but loud "omg, that was her?!" "who??" Followed by a mishmash of my name and being referred to as something related to "Lizzie Olsen."

"Hey!"

Why did I park so far?

"Excuse me!"

I sigh and slow my steps.

Now before we continue.

Have I been recognized for me being me? Yes. Clips and audio from the show held a couple of months back did wonders for my "imagine" (ew) and new Spotify, even after the rumored falling out between Rob- Mr. Arnett, and myself. Most of the time, if I am ever seen, it's mainly by fans of Liz. Who I love and have been so very sweet to me. However, sometimes I want to buy junk food and not be known. But to be with Lizzie, I'd take a million pictures and answer any Scarlet Witch-related questions they have.

"Yes?" I turn back to the group of three. All of their faces light up as they see that, yes, their friend was right. "You're Y/N Y/L/N, right?"

"I am," I answer with a smile. "Oh, my God! I love your music!" What? "I'm sorry?" I say, unsure of if I heard her correctly. "I love your music!" She says as the main one pulls TikTok up on her phone and shows me... well me.

She clicks on a duet I made of a clip from the live show. In the video, I explain how much I love the song that was written between him and I, so much so that I covered it for myself.

That Funny Feeling - Y/N aka @yeahitsY/NY/L/N (That Funny Feeling by Phoebe Bridgers)

"I love your version so much more!" The main one of the three closes out her phone and says to me. I smile and thank her. "Sorry, what's your guys' names?" I look over the three. "I'm Kat!" The one with the phone waves. Her friend in the blue jacket speaks, "I'm Willow." I nod my head before looking to the last girl, who's wearing a set of burgundy overalls. "Hi. I'm Holly." I smile at each one before I greet them with my own name.

"So, what are you doing here?" Willow outright asks, earning a slap on the arm from Kat, who immediately apologizes for her friend's behavior. I can't help but let a small smile form on my face. "I'm sure you already know." I bite my tongue and raise my eyebrows, questioning them. Kat's face lights up again to my answer. "Wait! Are you saying I'm literally in the same state as Elizabeth Olsen!!" She grips onto her friends arms. I'm sure to stop herself from jumping up and down.

This time Holly apologizes for her friends actions.

"Oh, my God. Wait stop. You two are so cute together!" Kat starts speaking again. I blush at that comment. "I can't believe we ran into you!" "Yeah, at H-E-B of all places." Willow snarks while looking at my cart.

Oh no. Please don't say anything about the burritos.

"Can we get a picture?" I move my gaze from the burritos to Kat and think. Ummmm. "Sure." I nod my head and move the shopping cart to my side. I let each one grab their own phone out as I position myself behind them. "We'll do one group pic on someone's phone, and then we each get a selfie," Kat speaks to the other two, who agree that Holly takes the group photo.

"Oh, this looks so good!"

I take a glance at each of their phones, and I have to agree the photo does look really good. Especially against the orange sky. "Can we tag you?" Willow asks without lifting her head up from her phone. "Sure, why not." My Instagram is private, but I can still see other people's stuff.

"Y/N?" I turn my head to Holly, who has her phone away. "Yeah?" "When are you releasing new music?" I tilt my head slightly and think. Over the last three months, I've been trying to write as much as possible. Mainly while Liz is on set, but I haven't been delighted with anything I've written. It's primarily a lot of angry songs that don't go anywhere.

I think that's why Liz made the executive decision of making me her assistant. To help me get away from the stress I was putting on myself.

But that's not to say it's all lost. I think new music will come.

Eventually.

"You know... I'm not sure." Holly hums, and it looks like she's about to say something else before Willow cuts her off. "So what are you doing now? If not music?"

"Uhh.. Liz's assistant, I guess.." I just about mumble out that I'm saying it out loud.

"What's your favorite color?" "What?" I ask, taken back because I certainly wasn't expecting that. "I want to add a heart to the caption, but I want it to be your favorite color." She sweetly and excitedly tells me. "Ohh umm.. GrOrange." I reply, earning confused looks before I realize my mix-up. "Sorry." I close my eyes, embarrassed. "Orange used to be my favorite color. But now it's Green." I open my eyes to the girls nodding along. "How come?"

Because of her.

"Things change," I reply with a shy tiny smile,

The three girls nod and shrug being, contempt. "Anyways..." I say, putting my hand on the shopping cart once again. "I should get going." I send an apologetic, kind smile to the three who graciously let me go with a few thanks and goodbyes. Oh, and one "please tell Lizzie about us."

Liz POV

I put down my book and pull out my phone. I'm just about to hover over Y/N's contact name for what must be the fourth time in the last five minutes when I hear the front door unlock.

"Babe?" I call out just in case it's not her and I'm about to be murderer.

"Hi." My non-murdering girlfriend replies.

I get up from the soft caramel-colored couch and make my way to her voice. Only stopping when I see her kicking off her shoes in the foyer carrying all the groceries bags. "You know.." I start. "You could've come in and asked for help, so you don't have to do it all at once." I only earn a shake of the head. "Liz, it's always going to be a one-trip kinda deal. You know this." She leans into me and places a kiss on my cheek, forcing me to blush before she shoos past me to set the bags in the kitchen. "I know." I follow her. "I admire that. But.." I watch as she places the bags down, looking back at me. "You didn't call me on the way home."

Y/N makes a face as if she's remembering that she forgot. "Oh shit. I'm sorry! I ran into these teens in the parking lot, and then I just started thinking- I didn't worry you did I?" I just about laugh as I place my own bags down and hug her nervous look away. "You don't have to apologize. It's alright. I was a little worried, but you know that's me being worried about other drivers, not you." She unfurls her arms and places another kiss on me. Yeah... never getting tired of this. "I love you." I smile at her, shining on me. "I love you too."

"So teens, huh?" I raise an eyebrow as I pull out a box of frozen burritos?? "I know." She replies with a sheepish look. "I'll eat them when you're on set." "Thank you." I make a nod.

"Anyways, yeah, as I was walking to the car, these three girls came up to me, and they knew who I was. They even said they listened to my music and showed me my own TikTok!" I adore Y/N always, but at this moment, the love grows. Watching her body move as she rambled is a plus. Y/N finally turns to me as she puts the last of the candy onto the counter near the light switches. "Isn't that kinda cool!?" I smile brightly at her. "Yeah, sweetie, that is kinda cool."

"Sweetie?" I shrug. "Been on my mind again. Something new. Do you like?"

"I do lovey."

"Lovey?" She raises an eyebrow. I think about it. "I like it." She giggles into the crook of my neck as I do the same to her. "We're gross," Y/N whispers causing her warm breath to heat up my skin. "Very," I whisper back.

Y/N pulls away with a mischievous look to her eyes. "I was gonna show you all the candy I bought, but maybe that can wait." With a hungry look up and down me, I understand why. "But what about dinner?" I smugly ask. "Yeah, that can wait." I purposely smirk and bite my bottom lip before grabbing her hips, and in one fell swoop, I have my Y/N pushed against the kitchen island.

Y/N POV

"Actors love watching other actors do great work. Our excitement when we see an extraordinary performance is real."

"And we are so proud of what women are achieving!"

"And for only 70 cents on the dollar!" (Laughter from the crowd) "Here are the nominees!"

"...Anya Taylor-Joy. The Queens Gambit. Elizabeth Olsen. WandaVision." Beat. "And the Emmy for Lead Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie goes to... Elizabeth Olsen for WandaVision!!" Sarah Paulson cheers loudly into the mic as I watch the camera swoop past a whistling Kate Winslet to the WandaVision Table. My elegantly beautiful girlfriend rises in her white Row dress and begins hugging the people behind the camera that made this show as wonderful as it was. Her last hug she shared is with her sister Courtney before stepping on the stage in the center of the room.

"Babe?"

"Okay... wow.. I have to remember to breathe now..." Liz does her nervous laugh before inhaling and exhaling. Once that's down, she gives a confident look to the camera and crowd all watching her. "First, I'd like to be honest and say that I would much rather have any of the other nominees be up here on this stage accepting this award..."

"Babe."

I slip off my left headphone and pause the YouTube video as I feel a tap on my shoulder. "Hi, sleepyhead," I say to my lovely groggy girlfriend. Her tired half-open eyes look from my laptop to me.

"What are you doing?" She asks with a droopy smile.

"Watching your Emmy acceptance speech.." That's a normal thing to say, right? "What?" She takes a closer look before turning over to pick up her phone. "Y/N, it's 3am!" She drops her phone and turns back to me. "Are you okay??" Liz rises in our bed and begins checking my head. "I'm fine. I'm fine." I shoo her hand away

"So, if you're fine, what are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep.."

Liz looks me over before pulling herself closer to me. Wrapping an arm around my back. "Okay.." She rubs her left eye and yawns. "Something on your mind?" "Babe, go back to sleep." Liz yawns again. "No, you're up. I'm up. So talk to me." I know this is a loving and losing battle. So I move my laptop off my thighs and scoot closer into Liz, who tenderly kisses my forehead.

Minutes go by without a word between us, so much so that I think Liz has fallen back asleep until I she shuffles closer to me and huskily asks. "Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Talk to me."

I sigh and own my mouth. "I just... Sometimes I can't believe where my life is at." I turn my head to her tired green eyes. "I mean, I have you. I'm doing what I finally want to do. And.. And yet... I'm just worried it's too good to be true." I turn my body and wrap myself around Liz. "Oh, Y/N.." She cups my chin and forces me to look at her face.

Even in the dead of night, she lights up my world.

"It's not too good to be true. Do you know why?" I shrug. "Because every tomorrow that comes with you is the too good to be true." She kisses me. "I don't want you to worry. I just want you."

I swallow the lump in my throat and nod.

"That was beautiful but cheesy, Liz." This time she shrugs. "It's 3am. Give me a break." I laugh into her shoulder and lean back to my spot on the bed. "Y/N?" I look over with a questioning look. "Before we both try to go back to sleep, can you answer me one question?" I nod.

"Why are you watching my Emmy Acceptance speech?" I look from the laptop to Liz. "It's become one of my comfort videos." I can hear her grin. "One of?"

"They're not all of you.." I look over and see Liz looking back at me with a teasing lip bite. I sigh. "But if you must know... The other most current one in the rotation is your fridge tour video.."

This causes Liz to double over and laugh. Hard. I groan and close my laptop because this kind of laugh means she won't be forgetting this. "Oh God, I love you."

"I love you too," I grumble, not being serious, and get rewarded with a kiss.

"Did those girls post their photo yet?"

I cuddle into Liz's big spoon. "The teens from the parking lot?" I ask. "Yeah." I actually never checked. After Liz and mine's workout and my second dinner (😏), it kind of slipped my mind to check.

"Let me look." I pick up my phone. Open Instagram and check my notifications.

There it is.

[Photo] - From Stories @waltzthekat Met @yeahitsY/N!!! Thank you for being so nice and chill when @willownotthetree wasn't. 🧡💚 Tagged People - @yeahitsY/N @willownotthetree @hollynothunter

"That's very sweet. Why those hearts?" Liz hands my phone back to me. "I kinda stumbled over my words and said my favorite color was GrOrange when she asked."

"GrOrange?" Liz clarifies. I nod. "Because it was Orange, but now it's Green; my brain got confused." Liz smiles. "I remember when you told me about your favorite color." She then laughs at the memory. And it only takes one second for me to join as well. "So if your crush on Velma from Scooby-Doo made your favorite color Orange what made it Green? Shaggy?" Liz teases and asks me, knowing full well why my favorite color is Green.

"Yep. Shaggy. Shaggy and his gorgeous eyes."

"Shaggy," Liz whispers into the air between our closing lips. "Let's go to sleep, sweetie." I nod and make sure all my devices are plugged in and put away.

As my eyes get tired and Liz's breathing slows behind me, I can't help but think of what a ridiculous name GrOrange, would be for a song.

But come morning, it's already half written.

I say half because my train of thought was derailed when I received a text from Max. With a follow-up text with a link.

A/N Just a majority fluff chapter. This fic doesn't have enough of it lmaoo

Pt. 36

9 notes · View notes