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#like theres so many parts where you can tell the writers wrote something with one path as the default and then only adjusted it slightly
t4tails · 6 months
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the quarry wouldve been pretty cool if the actual game part didnt suck so fucking bad
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glorified-red · 10 months
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Can you give some examples of show vs tell in your own fics? And do you always have to show?
I'd love to! Writing advice is one of my favorite things to do on here
Whenever it comes to show vs tell, there's always the question of how much is too much of one category, how to balance it properly, etc. When you have an excess of showing, your writing will read like poetry. When you have an excess of telling, your writing will read like scholarship. Both are useful in their own genres but the fun part is figuring out where your style lies within the spectrum.
I find my balance depends on what I aim to do with my scene. Whenever I want to set the vibe or setting, I begin with telling so my readers instantly know what to imagine, but then I dive into the details to really sharpen the image. This is seen best with You Are Loved, Damian Wayne:
Within the first line I tell: "Gotham was particularly gloomy tonight . . . A thunderstorm was brewing in the distance."
But the next paragraph I show evidence of what I just said: "Tonight the clouds were a harsh shade of coal . . . Rain pattered against the window like tiny bullets trying to chip away at the glass."
So these lines happen within the first two paragraphs very close together. The difference lies within implication. Within the "show" category, it's very obvious theres a storm happening but it doesn't explicitly say "theres a storm" like it does within the "tell" category.
I do the opposite whenever I talk about a character's headspace. I like to show evidence of everything to get the readers to speculate or draw conclusions of whats happening to then tell them the reality when the right moment hits. I find this creates tension rather than confusion.
This is also seen within You Are Loved, Damian Wayne:
Showing: "Damian was many things, vigilant was one of them. Yet, he was still as stone, even his fingers laid without so much as a twitch on top of his lap—it was unnerving . . . His katana was missing from his side, that fact alone made your heart sink . . . You had never seen him weaponless before."
So now we know something is wrong but we can't quite figure out what. It builds tension.
Showing: "There was blood soaked into his hands . . . From so close, you could see a streak of blood on his jawline, a tiny handprint that sagged downwards in a jagged line."
It doesn't explicitly say a child died, but it's painfully obvious and now we know why Damian is upset, but again, that lies within implication.
The best advice I was ever given with telling a character's motivations, emotions, actions, etc, is that you should do this through dialogue rather than exposition. It feels more natural this way and feels less "omnipotent narrator" and more like actual storytelling.
So when I tell within this scene, it's within this line: “A child lost their life today because of my own incompetence,” Damian sighed out harshly, “my own stupid mistakes left a family broken and grieving.” 
Now everything is crystal clear. We know why Damian is upset (he blames himself for a child's death) and it's done so in a way that drives the scene forward emotionally. We can now dissect his emotions and see how him and the reader interact together within this tense moment.
So how you utilize both is what will determine your tone and your style. Again, they're both useful! Especially when paired together in intentional ways. For creative writing, I usually try to reserve telling for establishing setting intially and dialogue. Most writers and movie scriptwriters will do this a lot with driving plot forward through dialogue.
Just experiment, I know I sound like a broken record, but tbh, it's all about experimentation. I didn't get good at the concept of showing until I wrote Nightmare and my entire goal was to just dive into imagery.
Best advice? Write out a scene where you can't say where you are. If your character is at the beach, don't just say that. Talk about the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore, the sand in the shoes, the sun hot against the shoulders. That'll get your brain to start getting used to showing.
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junietuesday · 1 year
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7, 16 & 66
ask game here!
7. How do you choose which POV to write from?
i mean usually the story im trying to tell will make it clear what the pov should be. if im writing a story to explore a specific character’s experience/emotional state, obviously it’ll be their pov, and for romances, its down to which character will have the more interesting perspective to explore and which character will be more interesting in the story if you (and the pov character) Dont know their every thought and have to piece it together yourself. (i think ive only once written a fic w switching povs, and while it was the right choice for that story since the romance was deeply abt their intertwined character development, i dont usually read like those ya romance novels that swap povs between the protags bc to me it feels like a copout LMAO)
16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?
oh man i. have countless fic ideas in hibernation but for the ones im Actively working on… i have three revalink fics, two miphvalink, and one thats loosely sidlink but in a particularly aroallo way bc its also abt sidon’s relationship w mipha again lol. plus three linked universe fics (thatve been in my drive for YEARS) still chugging along. i still think im really funny for my “revali and link work at rito mcdonalds fic” (i went into more detail abt it here) so heres a snippet of that:
Link looked at him, expression unreadable. Revali felt something in his chest tighten. There was no trace of the focused but cheerful cook he’d spent today working alongside—outside of the kitchen, he’d reverted right back to the wall of impenetrable silence.
Revali pivoted on his foot to leave. He’d already crouched down on the landing platform across the restaurant and spread his wings when Link’s voice cut through the silence between them.
“Where are you going?” he asked. Quieter than he’d been in the kitchen, and Revali didn’t think it was just because of the lack of noisy coworkers.
“I’ve already lost a whole day of training,” Revali snapped. He could feel something inside him burning. “I can still reach the Flight Range before dark.”
He didn’t turn around. He waited for Link’s response, but as the moment stretched taut, it became clear that none was forthcoming.
Of course. Who was Revali kidding, thinking anything had actually changed between them?
Beak clenched shut, Revali shot upward into the sky, leaving Link watching silently on the landing.
66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?
i. dont LMAO. luckily i havent gotten any negative comments before, and random strangers’ telling me to update doesnt really pressure me to write unless its like, a nice request and its out of sympathy that i try (keyword: try </3) to get back to it. deadlines on the other hand are Wonderful i actively miss the fanfic competitions i used to be part of bc i was churning out 1-3k oneshots every two weeks, it was so much fun and i wrote so much. but i dont think they really have those anymore esp for any fandoms im actually part of, so theres no external pressure for me to write and so im the slowest writer ever.
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futureseaempress · 11 months
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WIP Weekend Tag Game
I got tagged by @hypnostheory tyty bb
Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more). (If you're an artist or other non-fic fandom creator, questions can be found here!)
1. WIP List:
okay bear with me theres a bunch
DAVEKAT -the cowboy one -the waho one and/or the office one -first date/Nastygum -tire trouble part two -the nanny au -the sweet home alabama au -more Silver paint CODA -glory -some princes don’t become kings
FIRST PRINCE -the soulmates au -the omegaverse au -the actor au -the baby one -the hockey one -threes giving - bachelor party -the autism/self expression one
TMA -that last chapter of fanning the flame that was supposed to be about agnes and Jack and I just never fucking wrote anything for it
2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?
here in search of your glory for sure
3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?
so if i ever finish it more silver paint is bound to be the longest
4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?
oooo i love writing the kid fic echoed through my mind is rlly fun tbh i like the drama and doing something ive never written before is rlly fun
5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?
ALL OF THEM but defo the sweet home alabama au bc i think about it allll the time
6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?
-the threesome one bc I have a rlly good idea for it but I’m convinced I’m gonna fall short bc I want it to be kind of long and I struggle with that
7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?
hya usually reads my stuff but uhhh the soulmate au for sure not bc of anything bad but bc it’s almost too quick and I need someone to help me like slow down and set the mood
8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?
ALL OF THEM ACTUALY i kinda just black out and start typing jibberish when i get too stuck and usually it works itself out
9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?
oh uh none of them. i suppose I’m gonna cheat and say the kid fic bc I’m playing with some characters who exist in name only and like I’ve written Philips kids as getting along with Shaan & Zahra’s and his youngest behave like Henry and Bea and June has a little girl who is just like Alex and Alex is going to have a daughter who is just like June
10. Which WIP is the sexiest?
i'm gonna say the actor au but thats just cause i have plans
11. Which WIP is the angstiest?
ooo I don’t do a lot of angst but I’m gonna say the threesome bc Alex is a Dingus in that one BUT MAYBE HOCKEY BC ITS SAD FOR OSCAR AND ARTHUR
12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?
ummmmmmmm. I’m gonna say. The omegaverse one actually it blends canon and fantasy rlly well
13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?
glory. the next chapter has like bits from my favorite concert stuff and I love it
14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?
I wanna say Glory but it could rlly go for any of them I think about them kind of all the time
15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?
the threesome one but that’s bc the idea is rlly good and I want to pull it off college aus are my favorite & should be easy cause I lived in a dorm from age 16-21 but still
16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?
ummmmm no? mb? I think about them before bed to get to sleep tho
17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?
so I like putting different venues of communication in my fic it’s kind of my favorite thing to add and I like writing emotional break downs where the text changes and the vibe becomes rlly frantic
but complexities is a hard stone to lift maybe the hockey one bc they aren’t together yet? and I mostly write established stuff? or the omegaverse one for the same reason
18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?
probs the threesome but that’s just bc hya and I had fun telling each other about it
19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?
NO LOL— maybe I should write something from Pez or Nora’s perspective for the threesome fic but that’s kind of cheating maybe Liam will get a chapter for funnies
20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.
My college au has a fight over the custody of Nora’s Keurig.
I’m not going to be tagging anyone bc I’m dreadfully late but if anyone wants to do it bc they saw it here they should!
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worldofroma · 1 year
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June 2nd 2023, Friday - 2:53pm
I love to lie. I absolutely love it. Something about lying to people on the internet is one of the best things you could ever do. Because I find so many things to be boring, timewasting, or plain stupid, I find myself to have almost too much free time. With that time, I either read, write, find ways to further enhance my appearance, or message embarrassingly thirsty men on the internet using a fake persona besides my own pictures. I’m currently using the lie that I have a house in Ontario, but I’m constantly moving and travelling due to the fact that my father is a hitman. And the real shocking part of it is that they actually believe it. They believe that my mother died during child birth, that I’ve smuggled guns and drugs accross borders for my dad, and I’ve never atteneded real school. And I think I know why I enjoy it so much. I’m a writer, I write all about different things and problems in the world and create each and every character as if they were my own children. I hate some of them, I love some of them, and I wish I was some of them. With the amount of internet I have access to and the wide variety of people I can chat with, this gives me the opportunity to create more characters but within the real world as I act out as them. They have their own names, own backstories, own likes and dislikes, but look exactly like me. I think this may be a sign of how unhealthy my obsession with being someone besides myself is quickly growing. I’ve already been thinking nonstop about when I’m able to go to university and be whoever I want to be as I’ll be far from home with people I’ve never met before, but if I truly do that it may get out of hand. I’ve realized lately that I do everything I can to be someone else. I’m constantly comparing myself to people I see online, specifically pinterest, and even fictional characters I read about or see on tv. It’s getting to the point where I force myself to have a certain personality to fit the criteria of a character I like. Sometimes when I think about it too much, I recognize how sick and sad that sounds but I actually don’t mind it too much. I can be whoever I want whenever I want besides at home which is probably why I despise being home so much unless I’m alone in my room. I fully blame this on Barbie for telling me I can be anything.
I also just want to say that after reading over one of my past entries (don’t expect me to give an exact referral to which one because I didn’t even check myself) about how I never seem to cry and when I feel it coming on I just avoid it, but thats not entirely true. I watched the movie Beautiful Boy for the 30th time and remembered how sad that movie is. Every single time I see it, I sob. I think I find it so sad because although I’m not specifically struggling with drugs, I am suffering deep down with anything and everything and I don’t have someone who cares about it as much as the father cares about his son in that movie. Something about the scene of them in the airport and the father is telling his son about how the summer away from him will be short and theres nothing to worry about and when they tell each other “everything” as another way of saying “I love you” makes me cry like I never have before. It’s not even a sad scene, but it breaks me down every time. I’ve probably wrote this down in here somewhere already, but it really does affect someone to have an emotionally unavailable mother and a physically unavailable father. Especially when that father and all of his relatives claim that he loves my brother and I more than anything as if he didn’t fail to show up to court for custody over us several times. If you love us so much, why did you never put in the effort to see us or take care of us or demonstrate this “love” for us?
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x-lulu · 2 years
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quotes from different kdrama’s I’ve seen over the years part I
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nevertheless
happiness is like a butterfly. when pursued, is always beyond our grasps, but if you sit down quietly may alight upon you
you know what I regret the most? not knowing my own feelings. no, pretending not to know
some things just work out suddenly. even when you think theres no hope
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you’re beautiful
you two twinkle so brightly, it’s beautiful. as stars that shine brightest in the darkness, I pray that they will not lose their light even when darkness overcomes them
hwang tae kyung
then I can’t hold on to you. I wanted to be able to see you well when you came back, so I was trying to see even in the dark. every day, I even ate the carrots and spinach I hate, because I worried that I might lose you in the dark. because I didn’t want to lose you. but I can’t even hold on to you when I can see you well
you’re listening now, aren’t you? It’s so bright here, and your side is so dark that I can’t see you. please, don’t be where I can’t see you! come to where I can see you. give permission to let me see you
I’m going to keep telling you, so listen good every day. I love you
you can not hear it because im only yelling it inside my heart
seeing how you worried about me even though you were that sick, you seem to have some loyalty. seeing you enduring through it, you’ve also got some spirit. I haven’t wanted to accept you and wanted to reject you, but because of this, I’m accepting you. I’m on the same team as you now, so I feel a duty to look after you, and I’ll take responsibility for your affairs, too
ko mi nam
even so, the moon has its uses. rather than pointlessly brightening up an already bright day, it gives light on a dark night. isn’t that useful?
he’s like a bright, shining star. when I receive that light, I feel brighter and also darker. When it’s bright I get my hopes up, and when it darkens I feel disappointment. I hate myself for this and feel ashamed
I am too ashamed of my heart and I just want to hide it in the dark
if I’m far away, I’ll search for stars and think of you
I wish that the world can be quiet so I can make sure my heart heard it right
right now I only see one special star. There are a great many of them, but this one star sparkles so brightly that I keep only seeing that star
you’re not ashamed of your feelings, or sorry for them. Even if you’re a fool, you are an admirable fool
kang shin woo
I’m not asking you to give your heart in one go. If you can give your heart bit by bit, then that’s a start… I’ve started
until now, I tried to hold onto you. In other eyes, it must have looked foolish. Because I tried very hard, in the end, since I couldn’t get you, I was able to let go
until someone will come to love her, I will just stay like this beside her. Because this is a love im happy to give and I wont expect anything in return
jeremy
that writer wrote, 'everyone who doesn’t love is guilty.’ that means that anyone who loves, no matter who they love, is guiltless
when I thought you were a guy, I was okay with it. whenI found out you were a girl, I was okay with it. but if you like him, I can’t be okay with it. why? why wasn’t it me? I told you about my treasure bus, and I let you close to Jolie and I was going to sing a song only for you. why don’t you like me?
for me, those words where precious, so I was sparing them. but if you spare them too much… they become words you can’t say
right now I can’t tell you that I’m okay, but once the bus goes around full circle.. I’ll be okay then. […] once we get off this bus, I’m going to be the fun, outgoing Jeremy again. forget everything I said in here. if you don’t, I can’t ever go back
the world is round, so no matter how far away you go, just like the magic bus, you’ll immediately return to the place where you belong
not telling her that you’ll wait for her is the same thing as not waiting at all
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tempted, the great seducer
take care of your own heart too
trauma isn’t something grand. just on some random day, the thorn digs deeper stopping you in your tracks so that you can’t swallow or spit anything out
I didn’t know my mind was something I couldn’t control
one’s heart is like one’s muscles. your heart has been trained to like someone so much that it’s hard to forget it or love someone else. just like your body remembers certain actions, your heart only moves towards the person you love
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my secret romance
you planned this from the start, didn’t you? you wanted to get back at me for playing dumb… that’s why you were nagging me. fine, I remember everything. I was lying. I remember the resort, the wine, what we did on the beach! I remember it all
go get her. are you going to let her get away? people always make fun of the way I dress. they say its tacky, unflattering, strange, and that I’m crazy. I know that. I know everything, but I play dumb, act calm and firm. I just ignore it. why? because I like the way I dress. because I want to do it. because this makes me happy
I was thankful to you earlier today. nothing is working out for me these days… and I’m so lonely… I was having a really hard time. but, no one ever asked me if I was all right. you were the first to ask. you were the first to ask me if I’m okay. it’s not even a big deal, but those words… strangely comforted me
even if a hundred bad things happen, when one good thing happens that day is a lucky day
those habitual hiccups of yours, I think I know what they mean. those hiccups are only for me, right?
I’m not your man. I’m mine.
I think you’re a force to be reckoned with
I wanted to do what I could to be with you. I don’t want to eat by myself
I’ll go wherever my heart takes me. Let’s see how far it takes us
it feels like a dream, and I don’t know when I’ll wake up
if you try to hold on to her, she might run away
a vacation is like dating. the way your heart races with excitement before a vacation, the fun you have while learning about a new place, the sadness you feel when the vacation ends and you go back home, in these ways it’s quite similar to dating
think about it carefully. when she’s with you, do you think there will be more days when she’s smiling or more days when she’s crying?
I’m thankful that my first love and my last love is you
I know it’s useless now, but let’s pray to be like a coin. you’re the front side, I’m the back side. when one side is missing, the coin is thrown away. let’s pray to be a coin. even if we can’t see each other, we’re always together. even if we can’t check on each other, we’re always together
I can do it. whether it’s 3 years or 30 years, I won’t go anywhere and wait for you. I’ll wait for you, so come back when you’re ready
we never know how or when something will begin
don’t be scared of getting hurt, and don’t hesitate because of what other people might think. just do it
I’m going to be by your side and only eat the food you make me, for the rest of my life
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strong woman do bong soon
men are all dogs. dont insult dogs
when life gives you difficulties, just ignore them and laugh them off
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sweet home
even the blackest darkness, vanishes in the faintest light. even the slightest chance, can give us hope
when someone promises something and it's nearly impossible to keep, there's a good chance it'll end up being a lie
it's the time in which it's more difficult to find reasons to survive than to actually survive
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all of us are dead
they say when people confirm their situation is hopeless, they truly fall into despair - choi nam ra
I still have things to do here - choi nam ra
today I'm the happiest guy in the school - lee cheong san
you have to live for them - lee cheong san
do you know when it is the hardest for us? right now. because we have to save the most people, not the people most precious to us - park eun hee
all of us have some sort of prejudice. we all have preconceptions about other people - choi nam ra
I will always stand with the powerless people - park eun hee
we're the only ones who can save ourselves - lee cheong san
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her private life
fill your room with the things you love so you can live a happier life
it's not that I don't like holding hands. I don't like the moment when I have to let it go again
art may be great but it cannot be greater than a living human being. I am still greater than those painting that are hung on that wall. because I am a living being and I will continue to live
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money heist korea, joint economic area
it was clear that everyone on the train smelled the same thing. It was the smell of hope
if you’re gonna throw your life away, why not put it in my hands?
why Tokyo of all places? because we’re going to do a bad thing
if there’s even a drop of water from the tiniest crack in a dam, the dam can break, regardless of how big and sturdy it is. we will seize that one chance
if you keep running away, it’ll become a habit. you will have to face it at some point
just because somebody is willing to risk their life, that doesn’t mean they welcome death. it just means they’ll do whatever it takes to make their dream a reality
all of us are just born to die anyway. it’s only a matter of how soon you go
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thesibfiles · 3 years
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Courtney going on tour right after?
Theres a misconception that after Kurts death, Courtney went straight on tour right away. This is false. The album was already set to release a few days after and they couldnt change that on such a short notice. Promotion for the album was cancelled and she pushed back the tour 4 months.
“Live Through This was supposed to provide Love an opportunity to step out from her famous husband’s shadow. “It’s annoying now, and it’s been annoying for nine years, Love said in a 1999 Jane Magazine interview of always being connected to Cobain. Released four days after Cobain’s body was found, the album’s promotion was put on hold. Rather than retreat from the public eye, Love openly mourned and helped fans of Cobain and Nirvana make sense of the singer’s death. She sat with grieving teenagers gathered outside the couple’s Seattle home and recorded a reading of parts of his suicide note that was played at the singer’s memorial that gathered near the Space Needle. In the days following his death, Love showed a very raw and emotional side and admitted that, like many fans, she didn’t have all the answers. 
It was, and still is, impossible for people to discuss Live Through This without noting the irony of the album’s title. Love has said the name was not a prediction at all, but instead a reflection of all she had endured in the months leading up to its release, including a very public custody fight with the Los Angeles Department of Family Services over daughter Frances Bean. Rumors suggested that Cobain had written much of Live Through This (it’s Miss World, not Mister, just FYI). “I’d be proud as hell to say that he wrote something on it, but I wouldn’t let him. It was too Yoko for me. It’s like, ‘No fucking way, man! I’ve got a good band, I don’t fucking need your help,’” was Love’s response to critics in Spin’s oral history of Live Through This. Love and Cobain often shared notebooks and lyrics with each other, and while there is talk of Cobain’s influence on Love’s work, or the writing of all of it, less is mentioned in the press of her impact on his lyrics and music. Rather than sucking all the life out of Nirvana or threatening the success of the band, like many assumed she would do, she inspired Cobain. Fun fact: In Utero, Nirvana’s last album, was named after a line from one of Love’s poems.
Sadly, songwriting rumors would be replaced by other rumors. Women are often vilified and condemned for the deaths of their male partners. Love, like all women, was supposed to save her partner from death and addiction. Fans of Cobain projected all their anger and resentment over the loss of the Nirvana front man onto Love, and soon she was blamed for not only his addiction but also his death. There are even two movies devoted to the theory that Courtney killed Kurt: the awful Soaked in Bleach (2015) and the equally awful Kurt & Courtney (1998). If you think we’ve come a long way, baby, sadly we haven’t. 
One year after Anthony Bourdain’s death, Asia Argento is still being blamed, and in September 2018, Ariana Grande had to take a break from social media after fans blamed her for the death of her ex Mac Miller. A few months later, she would be blamed for new beau Pete Davidson’s mental health and addiction issues. It’s amazing she finds the time to write hit songs what with all the dude destruction she has going on. When women are not being blamed for the deaths of the men in their lives, they are being attacked for not grieving properly. “She wasn’t crying. She’s got $30 million coming to her. Do you blame her for being so cool?” a hospital staffer said of Yoko Ono following John Lennon’s murder in 1980. 
About four months after Cobain’s death, Love went on tour to promote her new album. Some questioned and judged why she would go on tour so soon, but Love has said it was a necessity. She had a young daughter to support. She needed to work. She also, sadly, still needed to prove herself. “I would like to think that I’m not getting the sympathy vote, and the only way to do that is to prove that what I’ve got is real,” Love told Rolling Stone in 1994.
Twenty-five years later, Cobain’s death still hangs over Live Through This. In the days leading up to the anniversary of Cobain’s death, former Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur wrote an open letter to music magazine Kerrang saying she “would not stand for Kurt’s death overshadowing the life and work of the women he left behind this year.”
“We were extremely well designed for each other,” Love has said of her relationship with Cobain. In a letter reprinted in Dirty Blonde: The Diaries of Courtney Love, she calls him “my everything. the top half on my fraction.” The two had similar upbringings, both came from broken homes and spent childhoods shuttling between relatives and friends. They both grew up longing for love and acceptance. When we tell the story of Kurt and Courtney we talk about drugs and destruction, but we don’t talk enough about love.
The two also shared an intense drive and ambition. “I didn’t want to marry a rock star, I wanted to be one,” Love said in a 1992 Sassy interview. Evidence of her drive can be found in the many notes and to-do lists she kept, some of which are collected in Dirty Blonde. There are reminders to send her acting résumé to agencies, to write three to four new songs a week, to “achieve L.A. visibility.” A scene in the documentary Kurt & Courtney features an ex of Love’s reading from one of her to-do lists, which has “become friends with Michael Stipe” as the number one task to complete (not only did Love do this, but he is her daughter’s godfather). This ambition is not surprising from a woman who, when she was younger, mailed a tape of herself singing to Neil Sedaka in hopes of getting signed. Love knew what she wanted at an early age, and what she wanted was fame.
She was certainly living by the “do not hurt yourself, destroy yourself, mangle yourself to get the football captain. Be the football captain!” motto she championed in the 1995 documentary Not Bad for a Girl. Ambition is often a dirty word when it is used to describe women and Love is no exception. She has been repeatedly described as calculating and controlling when she should be rewarded for her blond ambition and viewed as an inspiration. Critics and the press often call her a gold digger who only married Cobain for fame and money. They fail to mention that when the two met Pretty on the Inside was actually selling more copies than Bleach, Nirvana’s debut album. Even post-Kurt, Love’s intentions were always under scrutiny. On the Today Show to do press for The People vs. Larry Flynt, Love refused to talk about her past drug use, despite the host’s repeated questions, saying the topic was not an appropriate fit for the show’s demographic. She was right, but it didn’t stop a writer from describing the move as “calculating” in a 1998 Spin piece.
Cobain was ambitious too; he was just much slyer and more secretive about it. He was known to call his manager and complain when MTV didn’t play Nirvana’s videos enough, and he would correct journalists who misquoted the band’s sales figures in interviews. While success is typically celebrated and rewarded for men and it certainly was for Cobain, he also had to be mindful of the slacker generation that loved Nirvana and greeted success — and especially mainstream success —
While female celebrities like Love are criticized for their rebellion, male celebrities, like Cobain for example, are celebrated and mythologized for it. Cobain and Love both struggled with addiction, but it is Love who is repeatedly vilified for her drug use. “She was vilified for being a mess, for being a drug addict, for not being a great parent — in other words, all of the things we expect in a male rock star,” said Bust magazine in a piece in the magazine’s 20th anniversary issue, which featured Love on the cover.
We make jokes about the drug antics of male celebrities from Keith Richards to Charlie Sheen, idolizing their debauchery and depravity. The new Netflix/Lifetime movie by Jack Daniels, The Dirt, about Mötley Crüe, takes the band’s excesses to almost comic levels. Check out crazy tourmate Ozzy Osbourne snorting a line of ants by a hotel pool! Such zany antics! I would love to see Lindsay Lohan try to get away with that. We never allow women to live down their arrests and their addictions, but we repeatedly allow men to have a redemption arc. Robert Downey Jr. was in and out of jail and on and off drugs for much of the mid to late ’90s, but we rarely, if ever, talk about his past.
When Love isn’t being attacked for her addiction issues, she is being judged for her parenting. Love’s first unflattering press was “Strange Love,” the much publicized 1992 Vanity Fair profile by Lynn Hirschberg. While the piece talks at length about Love’s drug use and constantly questions her parenting ability, it doesn’t paint Cobain in the same light. “It is appalling to think that she would be taking drugs when she knew she was pregnant,” says one close friend in the piece. Hirschberg relies on many unnamed sources and focuses often on the tabloid-like aspects of Love’s life and addictions. “Courtney has a long history with drugs. She loves Percodans (‘They make me vacuum’), and has dabbled with heroin off and on since she was eighteen, once even snorting it in Room 101 of the Chelsea Hotel, where Nancy Spungen died,” she writes. “Reportedly, Kurt didn’t do much more than drink until he met Courtney.” (Even when it is reported by Kurt and Krist that Kurt tried heroin in 1989, way before Courtney, It was also known that he smoked weed and used caugh syrup to get high in 1989 and 1990.)
This double standard was common in coverage of the couple. In Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, the 2015 documentary by Brett Morgen, Love asks her husband, “Why does everyone think you’re the good one and I’m the bad one?” Later in the film we see a scene of Frances Bean’s first haircut. The child sits on Cobain’s lap while Love searches for a comb and scissors. The camera shows Cobain nodding off, and while he maintains that he is just tired, it’s clear he’s not. The scene is painful to watch, especially because those around Cobain carry on like nothing in wrong, giving the feeling this is just like any other day in the Love-Cobain household. The scene is a reminder of how the press treated Cobain’s addiction when he was alive. They just carried on like nothing was wrong, instead directing all their judgement at Love.
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hiimsociallyawkward · 4 years
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Dear Lara Jean,
HI. so i watched TATBILB: A&F a few weeks ago, and I have some words. Before I begin, i'd like to preface that i'm literally 17 and have no film experience, and that I've read this book once maybe 4 years ago but here it is.
ps. if you haven't gotten it already: there will be spoilers. Heavy spoilers.
first of all, i'm sorry but i really didn't like the little edit things. Maybe I've reached that point in my life where I don't f with that anymore. Like when theres a drawn house and it slowly fades so it's real life?? no thanks
the music choice... I honestly didn't have that big of a problem with it, but my korean friend kept going "wtf is this music choice" so i'm quoting her on that.
the filming and editing. well maybe it's just me but I didn't really like it. yk when you're watching a youtuber and they do those zoom in things and it's sort of fast and funny? I think there were a few times the movie did that and i didn't like it.
literally, lara jean looking directly into the camera?? it feels like it's breaking the 4th wall and maybe they're doing it to be edgy but no thanks i didn't like that either.
WHY???? Her breaking the 4th wall added NOTHING to the movie. It just took me out of the experience. I especially didn’t like it when they did it in PS I still love you when they temporarily broke up.
THEY SET THE MOVIE IN OREGON. WHAT WAS THE REASON. THE BOOK WAS SET IN VA, AND I LIVE IN VA SO I FELT A CONNECTION TO THE BOOK. AND THEN THEY GO AND SET IT IN OREGON. WHAT. WAS. THE. REASON
OREGON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE COLLEGES. THEY’RE STILL PRETTY FAR AWAY FROM STANFORD. IN THE BOOK, UVA WAS CLOSE BY SO LJ WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE TOO FAR AWAY FROM HOME. NO OFFENSE TO THE STATE BUT WHY OREGON. THEY COULD OF PUT THEM IN CALI AT LEAST
ONE OF THE REASONS WHY LJ WANTED TO GO TO UVA IS BECAUSE HER FAMILY WOULD BE CLOSE BY. BY PUTTING THEM IN OREGON, YOU TAKE AWAY THAT REASON. i just want to 👊 whoever’s idea this was
FURTHERMORE: THEY CHANGED UVA AND UNC TO STANFORD AND NYU. I AM INFURIATED. THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT THEY WANTED TO GO TO UVA BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE 10 MINS FROM WHERE THEY LIVED AND IT'S A STATE SCHOOL. LARA JEAN FELT LIKE THE WAS GAURANTEED TO GO TO UVA AND WHEN SHE DOESNT, IT ACTUALLY HURTS THE READERS.
in the book, LJ was waitlisted from UNC, rejected from UVA, and accepted to W&M. I’m sure you can find like 40 people at our school who can relate to this situation. I doubt 40 people in our school can relate to being rejected from Stanford BUT accepted to NYU. dear writers, please give teens across the nation (your target audience) realistic expectations for college admissions.
YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT PETER AND LARA JEAN WERE ACTUALLY QUALFIED ENOUGH FOR STANFORD. LEMME JUST SAY, I'VE APPLIED FOR COLLEGES THIS YEAR AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD GRASP ON WHAT IT TAKES TO GET INTO CERTAIN COLLEGES. YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TWO OF THEM. REALLY. GOT. INTO. THOSE. SCHOOLS. pls.
DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE KISSING BOOTH. ELLE AND NOAH ARE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST CHARACTERS I HAVE EVER WATCHED. I DON’T SEE THEM DO A PAGE OF HOMEWORK AND I DON’T EVEN THINK THEY ATTEND CLASS. LIKE MAKING A KISSING BOOTH FOR ONE FUNDRAISER FOR A CLUB THAT CONSISTS OF 2 PEOPLE DOES NOT COUNT AS ENOUGH TO GET INTO HARVARD. but that’s a different movie...
this is literally the idea that television and movies have in making it super easy to get into ivy leauges. as if some in state college isn't up to society's standards of where or where not it's ok to go to college. it's when gabriella montez goes to stanford, troy goes to berkely, ryan evan goes to julliard, teddy duncan goes to yale, cody martin is accepted to princeton, HANNAH MONTANA does to stanford.
and lara jean wants to study english lit. she never says “i want to go to stanford because of their great english lit program”. it’s only “i want to go to stanford because my boyfriend is going and i have no other life outside of him
fine. make your characters seem awesome by making them go to awesome colleges. but still. this is upseting.
you know how awesome it is to hear UVA, the college I've always wanted to go to, in a published book? and for them to just rip it away- espeically when UVA is so attainable?? Yea yea movie directors, i get it, UVA isn't good enough for you. whatever.
They had AT LEAST 5 MONTAGES. 5. FIVE. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY MONTAGES. To quote my friend "the movie is all montage and 30 mins of plot" AND I CAN'T FIND IT IN MYSELF TO DISAGREE WITH HER.
AND THE DANCES. I REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO SEE NOAH CENTINEO DO WHATEVER HE CALLS “DANCING” IN 2 MONTAGES. I know everyone fell in love with noah in the first movie, but i’m pretty sure everyone fell out of love with him in this one.
again, i know nothing about movies, but 5 montages?? it seems like you're just filling space and trying to make everything seem ✨awesome✨ and ✨amazing✨. SURE. everything might be awesome and amazing, but this movie was 1 HR AND 55 MINS. and you decided to add 1 HR of montages? WHy. AND. one of them was in slowmo. i can't
THEY HAD VOICE OVERS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MOVIE. sure. 1 at the begin and 1 at the end, I think that's cute. BUT THE WHOLE MOVIE?? WHY. like bruh- have a focus.
literally did anyone read the freaking book? Remember how- in the book right? Margot was actually really not ok with Trina bc she's sort of replacing their mom? and Margot is rlly not ok with it but gets over it?? see how that was summarized in like 5 seconds in the movie? Oh i'm sorry you used all your time for the movie making STUPID MONTAGES but can we get some actually emotionally beats next time?? thanks.
ok this is a big problem i have with the movie. in the 3rd book, peter tries to have a relationship with his dad who ran away from him years ago. He struggles with that relationship the whole book. This is good stuff. people can relate to this. the scene in the diner where peter “confronts” his dad was CRINGEY. It could be noah’s acting but i couldn’t take him seriously. AND HE FORGIVES HIS DAD AFTER 30 SECONDS. the movie tries to include these smaller storylines but can’t because of the time limit. i’m no screenwriter, but i’m sure there could have been a way to subtly move that plot line during the entire movie rather than that one conversation in the diner
and in the book, peter has to train for lacrosse so he has to eat healthy which stresses him out. i specifically remember him getting mad at someone (maybe it was john ambrose, i don’t remember fully) for EATING HIS CARROTS. this just shows that peter has a life too. he has to worry about lacrosse along with losing lj. but no, the movie makes him look like the perfect boyfriend who has no other worries in life except for the girl in front of him
remember how- in the book (right?? bc they had a book to go off of???) Stormy was a part of the 3rd book? like a BIG part?? They LITEALLY just used her as John Ambrose's grandmother (WHICH IM PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO IN THE MOVIES). literally, stormy and john ambrose were throw away characters in the second movie and i am infurriated. BUT ALSO I LOVE JOHN AMBROSE HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM??
and remember, how in the book, how the dog's name is "Jamie Fox-Pickle" and they changed it to HENRY??? where is the flavor. what was the reason. SERIOUSLY.
BUT ALSO. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT THERE WAS A POINT IN THE PLOT WHERE PETER'S MOM TOLD LARA JEAN TO BREAK UP WITH PETER. DOES NO ONE ELSE REMEBER THAT?? AND THEY CUT IT ALL OUT OF THE SCRIPT?? LIKE WHY. WHAT WAS THE REASON.
ok those are my biggest book grievances I think. but lemme just say, they NEVER went to NEW YORK. They literally wrote that in for the purposes of NYU. in the book, Chris and Lara Jean DRIVE to UNC because that's ATTAINABLE. BC THEY'RE STATE UNIVERSITIES. ANYWAYS
LJ’s and Chris’s spontaneous trip to unc showed their friendship in a good way. I never really liked chris as a friend to lj but during the trip, they are besties and it shows. the movie tries to do that in ny but peter is also in ny for some reason. she should have fell in love with ny WITHOUT peter at her side nagging her to sneak out and go on a date. she should have spent more time with chris rather than thinking about peter while she was watching the band.
the scene where Lara Jean is in New York and at the party and she sees the band? To all the boys I've loved before: Always and forever?? more like To all the boys I've loved before: gay awakening time.
when they moved the pink couch to the subway? WHy? They wanted snazzy pics.
when Lara Jean and Peter were making up and it was a really cute sequence AND THEN THEY MADE HER LOSE HER V CARD. FINE. I GET HOW THAT'S REALISTIC BUT IT WAS A CUTE SCENE. MY FRIEND ALMOST STARTED CRYING AND THEN LJ LOST HER V CARD AND WE COULDN'T STOP SCREAMING.
this is different from what was in the book (for the 100th time). In the book, they don’t do it and it shows that you can be in a high school relationship without being physical. I strongly appreciate that message. This darn movie had to have her lose her v card. WHY. IT ADDED NOTHING TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE YEARBOOK SIGNING WAS SYMBOLIC ENOUGH
the montage where it's a montage of all of lara jean's and peter's cute moments?? ok fine. that was cute. but they literally just took scenes from past movies. imagine the impact if we like hidden moments from their relationships. maybe they're laughing in the car together. maybe they're watching they sunset. maybe peter is looking at her lovingly while she sleeps. WHAT IF. it WASN'T a montage of all the "bigger" moments of their relationship, and we got to see them just exist.
UGH. THE VOICE OVER AT THE END OF THE MOVIE IS SO CRINGEY I CAN'T
"WE AREN'T LIKE OTHER COUPLES. NOT US, LARA JEAN AND PETER KAVINSKY. BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING BETWEEN US. WRITING LOVE LETTERS" please. b freaking s
Some redeemable qualities
while i didn't like most of the songs, "like me better" by lauv will always be loved. especially since it's a call back from the first movie?? I can ftw
WHY WASN’T “LIKE ME BETTER” THEIR SONG???? I really thought it was a good song to be their song and they referenced it in the beginning. No offense to the “beginning middle and end” people, but i felt no attachment to that song.
they customized her phone. it looked like it was a 7 (idk rlly, i don't know crap abt iphones) but they customized it. Granted, I KNOW lara jean would be the one with the aesthetic background with color coded folder, but still- they did give her relevant apps. some to note include; tiktok, spotify, instagram, netflix, notes, messages, facetime, maps, whatsapp and the STANFORD APP?? whatever- i'm chill.
they did make lara jean make choices so that was good.
the prom ask?? That was cute. with the pancakes??
at the end when Peter played the song even though earlier he didn't like it?? I liked that. i liked that a lot. ok fine i more than liked that a lot. There are multiple texts where my friends are screaming at each other. In fact, 26 separate messages.
chris in general. granted, she was more present in the books, but i'll take what i can get.
some notable quotes by her, the queen
"I'm dead inside"
not wanting to do a gigantic walk down from the stairs and asking the boys not to turn around
peter said he liked lara jean's forehead kisses and that reminded me of emma chamberlain so that's a positive only bc of emma
I remembered that they were the class of 2021, and I'M class of 2021 and it just hit for a second.
my friend cried over their graduation but i felt nothing bc we're literally living in a pandemic and chances of me getting a real graduation?? we'll see
again, these are all just my opinion. my friend doesn't like the movie bc she says she's sad and bitter and seeing these cute couples makes her feel lonely but i'm just diappointed. the books were GOOD. they were gold.
there was so much they could’ve done with the movies, and i just feel like they didn’t deliver on anything. Jenny Han, i’m sorry. The movie overall, ik someone who cried about it and someone else who gave it 7/10. props for them but jeez i just wish for more.
ok but that’s the show folk. i mean, obviously everything i said was opinion and literally don’t listen to anything i’ve said. BUT. feel free to add what you hated or loved abt the movie too. thanks. i love you guys. “always and forever” :,)
p.s- omg not them ripping off taylor swift. jk jk. ok bye
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snickiebear · 3 years
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yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)
ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 
1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?
The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 
As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 
4. Link your three favorite fics right now.
OMGG okok 
@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 
@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 
@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 
fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks
i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum
5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?
Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 
When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 
9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.
@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 
@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 
@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 
10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?
Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA
Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka
Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.
17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?
aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”
23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?
Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 
24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?
The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”
28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?
I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 
I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 
Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?
30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.
AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH
Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?
Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”
34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?
None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.
Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 
As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO
38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?
I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 
It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.
39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?
I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.
Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  
40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?
AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO
so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.
Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 
The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 
I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))
ask me shit plz
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astrologista · 4 years
Text
jason stop dying
ooooook i just watched ditf. it was PRETTY GOOD.... i only wish there was MOOORE! watching this REALLY brought me back to 2011 times to see it and i think they did a good job with most of the character design and animations insofar as matching it to the original. (maybe i’m totally wrong but i thought it looked good for the most part... also i just really love these character designs in particular). obviously the budget is not what it would be on a feature, so there are a LOT of places where animation gets recycled and many still frames. some parts are basically a slideshow lol. but i only sort of came to that realization awhile after watching, so i think they did a fairly good job of masking this... ymmv
so let’s get into it!!! 
SPOILERS a-head! do not read until you’ve watched it because i’ll spoil everything
now obviously the thing to be aware of if you are not is the fact that this adaptation is not a panel-by-panel adaptation of the original death in the family comic. all references to jason’s mother (save one mention of her dying of illness) are completely removed, they go to bosnia instead of africa, and the circumstances around jason leaving are also heavily altered to fit the new narrative. this adaptation does slot perfectly into the universe established by the under the red hood animated movie from 2011 though, without which one would be pretty confused when watching this. it’s kind of a mystery as to why they didn’t just package this with utrh and release the entire thing as a collectors edition. instead they package it with like 4 or 5 unrelated dc showcase shorts which makes absolutely 0 sense but go off i guess. anyway
i liked that they took the time to adapt the scene from the original ditf where bruce is talking to alfred about jason! (i do not like that alfred didn’t get any lines. bad choice). tbh i can’t understand why they bothered showing us alfred, barbara and dick if they weren’t gonna give them any lines..... like come on........??
HOW INTENSE BRUCE LOOKS WHEN HE FINDS JASON IN SARAJEVO and just. grabs him lol. hes smad :)
ok so one two skip a few and we get to the first branch. instead of calling 1-900 we now get to choose whether jason lives or dies. there are 7 possible endings i think i got em all so let’s see what we got here.
“Hush” Route - Robin cheats death
hgrgdggr. i definitely think this is one of the more interesting endings, if not the most interesting one. this is also the only ending in which both bruce and jason survive the bombing. bruce is still too late, but this time jason barely clings to life and survives. as a hurt/comfort fan i was 100% on this shit from the word go but then jason? runs away from home lmao lmao i thought that was SO funny because 1) hes super messed up, how is he able to just literally run out the house that is SO funny to me and 2) implying that bruce would ever not be keeping an eye on him after that is just, lmao. it’s so zany. i call this the “hush” route because of the bandages but there are no other references to hush so ok. that’s fair. so anyway jason is now angsty for loosely explained reasons but the most fun part is yet to come.
when talia showed up, i really thought / was terrified for a second that they were gonna bring up certain “events” regarding damian’s parentage / who damian’s father is but then she mentioned bruce and i was like OH THANK GOD WE CAN STILL GO TO HEAVEN. i am so so grateful to the writers for NOT going there. cuz it was damn close ok. im not sure what the implication of this route is in terms of talia, jason and damian being a family unit but i want to believe talia sees jason as a son and damian’s brother (which is how she refers to him, damian’s brother) and not... yknow. i mean. jason raising a baby is kind of like a baby raising a baby...
no actually the reality of this scene is really dfuckin interesting like. they actually go with the “birth of the demon” (forget if it was birth of the demon or bride of the demon. one of those.) explanation for damian and that is something i’ve NEVER seen adapted so whoever wrote this can have a cookie and i kNOW this is something a certain someone will appreciate :)
not only that but the implications? are interesting? so talia’s claim is she miscarried so bruce won’t have to “choose” between damian and jason and idk if she’s supposed to be all on the-up-and-up in this universe but. i’m sitting here like GIRL YOU DON’T GOTTA DO THIS HE HAS A PRIVATE JET HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF SHARED CUSTODY and BETTER YET HE HAS A MANSION JUST GO ON MAURY AND GET THIS SORTED OUT RIGHT NOWwwww
i’m also LAUGHING at the implications of jason thinking theres anywhere on earth that he’s going to go and hide damian’s existence from bruce. because you already know he’s just going to be tearing the planet apart looking for jason so this is actually hilarious. imagine he finds jason in one piece and also a baby. his baby. he’d be like (@ talia) “OMG WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT THEM BOTH u are tearing me apart talia......” BUT THEN HE WOULD BE SO FREAKING HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS TWO ALIVE SONS AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH DEAD / (lost to crime)!!!
please lord imagine all of jason’s angst probably just originating from the fact that he has a brain injury that hasn’t fully healed and the trauma of going through all those surgeries probably gave him a lot of fear / paranoia about bruce and associating him with the joker because his neural pathways are all messed up but after he leaves he starts slowly healing back and regaining some of his lost sanity and thats when he realizes he misses bruce so much... but hes also raising his child... and every day it gets more difficult for him not to just take damian and bring him home and i ;v;
anyway i thought this route, while it had a few inconsistencies in it, was really freaking interesting and it gave me feels and plot bunnies and is probably the one i want to write about the MOST despite the fact that baby damian looks like a character from one of those web flash games in this lol
“True” End - Jason Dies
now if you select that jason dies the route basically defaults to the canon of under the red hood and the fact that utrh does not come packaged with this movie is a rather mystifying choice to me as i don’t think this adaptation would stand on its own very well. like you need quite a bit of background to really get anything out of watching this on its own, which is probably why it’s classified as a “short” and not as its own movie.
instead of showing all of utrh, it seems they took the opportunity to give a ~30 minute recap of utrh with basically entirely reused animation but they allow bruce to sort of. give his dvd commentary over it.
the biggest feeling i have on this is that it’s sad that they had to waste 30 minutes like this that could’ve been used to do something new and much more interesting, but honestly i’m not mad. it seems kind of obvious that this choice was probably made for budget and/or runtime reasons because a short does not get the same budget set aside as a full length feature film does. so they basically took the option of recycling 30 minutes of animation from the movie and dubbing new audio over it.
in evangelion they ran out of budget and that’s why the last two episodes consist of nothing more than still pencil drawings and frames while the characters engage in philosophical debates concerning the nature of reality and human connection. and i really enjoyed that. and for the same reasons, i also really enjoyed this.
i enjoyed seeing the clark kent of this universe. i enjoyed that he was basically out on a date with bruce. i enjoyed that bruce was willing to open up for once and tell clark all of what happened with jason. but what really makes this segment shine bright are bruce greenwood’s line reads. there are SO MANY good line reads in here. and i LOVED how many times he said the word “son”. very wholesome. the way he describes how he felt during the final fight with jason? probs my favorite FUCKING part.
and then him and clark joking together about contingency plans and then they’re going to work together to find jason and i ;_; this is probably the closest thing to a “good” ending but as a continuation of utrh i thought it worked really well. i really want to believe that bruce and clark did find jason in this route and that there was some closure in the end even though we didn’t get to see it.
including clark in this was DEFINITELY the right move as well, considering that he played a rather large role in the original ditf so it’s a welcome nod.
The rest of the branches exist under a separate option where Bruce makes it in time to save Jason from the warehouse... but Bruce dies......... :O
let me tell you bout it... bruce’s fucking DEATH SCENE i don’t know WHAT my man bruce greenwood is on, but the freaking LINE READS in this dialogue had me making INHUMAN NOISES. LIKE NOT ONLY WAS THE DIALOGUE GOOD, NOT ONLY DID HE SAY “I LOVE YOU, SON”, but this man is just an amazing actor. not just voice actor, but actor. he really really really really gave it the most i don’t know how else to say it....... it was very very well done and punched me sideways in the heart and i haven’t recovered and i’m not going to recover. and
ok so once we get past that.... scene.... u have to choose whether you’re going to catch the joker or kill the joker. bruce asks jason to promise not to kill the joker but technically jason doesn’t promise so........
Let’s start by choosing to kill the Joker. Jason attends Bruce’s funeral and various members of the Justice League show up to talk with him and just generally hang out. He has Alfred, Dick and Barbara as his support system, but Jason has some other plans.
This leads to a scene in a cafe where Jason meets with a man who... something something Killing Joke, flashlight, more Barbara being used as a plot device when she deserves better, Jason kills the Joker with a butter knife.
Once you do this you can choose to surrender to the police, or retaliate and escape.
Jailbird Ending
basically if you surrender to the police jason ends up in prison where he can actually attack even more criminals so.... ya
If you retaliate and escape instead you go to the Red Robin route where Jason becomes a vigilante who kills people much like the Red Hood and you get a further choice in a fight with Two Face where you can control how Harvey’s coin lands. 
Tim Ending!
If you choose the coin to land clean face up, the thing rewards you by having Tim show up and I forgot what happened (wasn’t really paying attention lol) because i was so focused on TIM!
Prolly they felt sorry for him what with Jason stealing what is essentially his outfit (ok I know it was Jason’s first, but Tim made it cool) so they let a little baby tim have an appearance :) he’s very smol
I guess in this ending Jason gets reintegrated with the family somehow and Tim becomes “Bat-kid” which is hilarious to me but you know what it’s cute. CUTE.
The one ending where the coin lands scarred side up
i honestly forget what happens if you choose to have the coin land scarred side up but let me just say this is a FUCKED route to take, not only have you had jason survive and bruce die, you’ve now chosen to kill the joker against bruce’s dying wish, you’ve chosen to attack the police, and at the end of that you really are gonna choose harvey’s coin to be scarred face up???? choosing this made me feel like a DICK because here i am supporting jason’s whole fall to madness and villainy thing the way it wants me to and now he’s gonna die HERE? i hate it here.
interestingly enough he doesn’t actually die in this route. he ends up at home with barbara and dick while dealing with the fact that he killed the joker but the route ends with jason saying “i promise” so i guess this is supposed to be kinda sad. im so confused lol ok
So that is all the options if you choose to kill the joker, I believe. You can also make the choice to just catch him instead of killing him but amazingly enough, those routes are even more FUCKED up. 
If you do this option Jason goes home, mourns Bruce with Dick, Barbara and Alfred, and becomes Red Hood BUT with a twist, he’s entirely on a bloodless operation in line with Bruce’s wishes. OR.... IS HE?
Things then follow the events of UTRH until the scene on the bridge with the van and the guys. Jason finally confronts Joker, who reveals the truth. 
Apparently in this route Jason has actually been killing and decapitating his victims just like in the original movie, but he’s repressed it so as to not even realize to himself that he’s doing it.
that is FUCKED. also. i wanna cry because jason doing all of that stuff but not even realizing it ;------; jason blocking it out, because he wanted to honor bruce’s wishes for him not to kill anyone ;______; but he’s doing it anyway ;_____; he’s actually hearing voices telling him to kill ;____; like it’s a very cheap twist in a sense and also really quite cruel but.... damn, son.
There is a branch here where you can choose to spare or kill the Joker at this point (UNDERTALE???) but from what I can tell it seems to be totally meaningless what choice you pick because you end up at the exact same point either way, I think there’s a small variation in what happens after you make the choice but after that they just coalesce back together into the following two endings. Which seems incredibly cheap to me, I mean making a choice like that should alter Jason’s path completely but, it doesn’t! So... ooook....
Either way Jason ends up on the Wayne building and Talia shows up with a re-animated Bruce from the pit. Here’s another fun blast from the 2011 past with more gratuitous Grant Morrison dreck, remember that shit? Well, they’re gonna jam it down your throat here, too.
The reanimated Bruce is the Zur En Arrh Bruce and he’s already dead so this is all meaningless but basically Jason fights him and you get to choose whether everybody lives or dies.
Zur En Arrh - Everyone Lives!
if you pick this, jason actually gets the re-animated bruce back to the batcave and they lock him up down there because he’s still pit-mad and the prognosis is not great. but i’m not sure what they expected, he is the zur-en-arrh guy so I don’t think he’s getting better. 
Zur En Arrh - Everyone Dies!
pretty much there’s an explosion and all three of them die and that’s it
I think that should be all the possible endings there are.
By the way the different ways in which black mask dies in this was actually a fairly clever running gag lollll. let that mf burn we don’t need no water.
overall there are a couple of things i would have done to SIGNIFICANTLY improve this adaptation beyond some of the obvious ones.
- the fact that all of the branching options are branched exclusively under the “jason lives and bruce dies” branch is a huge wasted opportunity. imo this is the most egregious problem with this, i was really looking for a more balanced tree / explanation of different things. i am probably super biased though being a fic writer and used to fic, we’re the ones making huge ass trees every day lol.
- the fact that there is no “good” ending here is something i kind of expected but given the context of this is lackluster. i sort of get it though because granted, the original ditf ends in an unresolved manner but it’s distinctly unsatisfying here. i secretly wanted an ending where bruce, like, figures out about the different endings and hacks reality to try to find a good ending where jason lives and everything is fine lmao. like a bat mite ending.
- i was disappointed in a sense that the narrative given in here is so basically simplistic? maybe i’ve been spoiled by games like 999 and undertale where shit gets messy and that’s not what this is supposed to be but when i play something with multiple endings in this day and age, at least play with the concept a little bit and connect some of the branches together narratively. use different devices. i was also hoping some of the choices would be a little bit meatier like you could choose to “forgive bruce” or something cool like that lol. but it looks like the majority of choices have to do with who lives or dies. and i felt like they couldve been a bit more creative with that ya know? being able to control harvey’s coin was a GREAT example of having some more fun with this.
- it is a huge missed opportunity not to have a “secret ending” on something like this. like where. the fuck. is my secret ending for completing everything. come on. and in a similar vein there should’ve been at least something in terms of bruce and jason interacting in a “true ending”. even if very brief. the closest thing to an ending this has is the “jason died” route and then the ending where he’s talking to clark which i feel like was a REALLY nice good optimistic ending as far as this goes, but it comes off as kind of disappointing i guess
there were SO many interesting nuggets locked into this thing though. i can’t deny it bugs me how many wasted opportunities there were with how they chose to structure things but i guess it’s the best you can do with limited runtime. i thought it was really well done though, makes an interesting companion piece to the original utrh, and is definitely something that i will be re-watching again soon!! overall i give it a 7/10 and some parts an 8/10+!
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toshisae · 5 years
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call me baby
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summary: in which chenle gives you the entire world in exchange for some love
genre: crack, fluff and another pinch of angst 
theme: ceo!chenle (sugardaddy au but without the sexy shit its just he buys you things in exchange for you loving him ok? ok) 
word count: 2.8k
author’s note: HIIIII ITS BEEN A LONG ASS TIME SINCE I WROTE SOMETHING SO HERES THIS also theres no sexy time unless the sexy time u want is going on an endless shopping spree then this fic is for u!! its just another crack idea i had lol and this is just to get rid of writers block or smth despite having this in my drafts for the longest time
you know how people say not to chat with random strangers from the internet?
because it’s terrifying and shit??
well you never listened 
here you are on a friday night on your phone
looking for some 40 year olds to troll
on this sugar daddy app you randomly found one day
not like you needed money or whatever
you lived with your brother jaemin who’s a doctor
so i guess you could say u’re: $$$$
and it’s just that you have nothing to do
what’t the worst that could happen right?
ding!
your phone vibrates in your hand
it looks like you’ve matched with your designated sugar daddy
“congratulations! you’ve matched with 6chittaphon9”
you looked at his profile and saw that he’s a 23 year old dancer
not up for it, you swiped left
“give me the good shit bro” - you tell the phone
you clicked the globe icon on the bottom of the screen
it switched you to a radar where it scans for possible sugardaddies who use the app
a little later your phone dings again
“congratulations! you’ve matched with zhong$”
and when you clicked on his profile,,
you let out a big big gasp 
he’s a 18 year old ..
looking for.. sugar babies??
if you were drinking something then you would’ve spat out that liquid real quick
you swiped to the right and sent this dude a message
“hi”
ok so chenle right
chenle is the youngest billionaire in the world
bye kylie jenner oof
after his father’s passing, his company, zhongs inc. was in his hands
his father’s last wish was to have chenle get married at a young age
but chenle obviously didn’t like that idea
he wanted to experience a normal teenage life where he parties, drinks, date some random girls or whatever a pesky teenager does
so he found himself downloading a sugarbaby app
also just for the lolz like c’mon this is chenle the king of clownery
the c in chenle means clownery wbk
he had the money, the looks, almost anything you need for a man
so he quickly made his account
and not a minute later he already matched with someone named ‘<y/n3’
he sees that this y/n person already sent him a message
so obviously he replies
“hello”
you: asl?
chenle: 17 / m / seoul; u?
you: same except im a female
chenle: well ain’t that obvious
on the outside you bursted out laughing
you: ok capt. crunch so would you like telling me your name or is it confidential
chenle: i mean, i guess its kinda confidential but the company wont know anyway but im zhong chenle 
you: ????? are u important or sumn
chenle couldn’t believe his eyes
chenle: um.. im ZHONG chenle
you: whats so special with your name
chenle was actually quite glad you dont know about his name or his background
chenle: nothing so wyd
it didn’t take awhile for you two to get along 
since you two had the same type of humor and age
you: why are you on this app tho if you are “young and rich”
chenle: i could ask you the same question
you: its friday my dude and im bored 
chenle: well,,,,,,,,,,, idk my friend recommended it to me
you: you’re friends with a bunch of old people?
chenle: nO I MEAN YES?? I MEAN NO 
you: ... are u fucking with me
chenle: no i’m not fucking with you, im talking to u :D 
in the end chenle asks you if it was okay that he’ll send you some money for fun
chenle: yk this app is about sugardaddies looking for sugarbabies right so lets make the most of it and give me your paypal or venmo and ill send you some cash for talking to me <3 
you: wtf chenle no its fine!!! i had lots of fun talking to you and this app is just a whole ass joke but im glad i met a new friend here but its okay dont send me some money !!!!!
chenle: nooo think of it like i’m treating you out for some dinner so please allow me 
you: still ! i wont let you,, till i get to see you so i know youre not some 40 year old i still think you are
chenle: how many times do i have to tell you im really 18 years old ffs but sure, when are you free?
on the inside youre just like: ASJDHJHDUIADHASJKDAHAHD WHAT THE FUCK
you: uhh i have school so i’m always busy hehehe
chenle: then i’ll see you in your school, what school do you go to?
this kid doesnt know when to give up
you: hhhhhhh i guess then i’m free tomorrow 
chenle: GREAT! I’LL SEE YOU ON HONGDAE here’s my number boo
and there you have it
your first unofficial meet up with zhong chenle himself
you were too much in thought about meeting him you didnt even notice jaemin standing there with pizza in his hands
“what are you staring at sis?” - jaems
“uh nothing” you snatched the pizza from his hands
fast forward to tomorrow
you were getting nervous to meet chenle
“hey where are you going?” jaemin takes a peek of you in your room
can he stop scaring you like that
“going out” - u 
“going where?” - jaems
“hongdae”
“cuteee do you have a date today?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you
“no-”
“are you going out with that pizza delivery boy?!” jaemin suddenly gushes
“jeno?” you ask him
“yeah that one” - jaemin
“no, i’m just gonna go shopping” you brush him off
jaemin shrugs and gives you some pocket money to spend
“be safe and have fun” he closes the door of your room
after safely arriving in hongdae, you sat somewhere thats not that crowded
who knows if this chenle person is famous right
so there you were waiting for him to text you or something
and just like that, your phone rings
it was an unknown number
but you answer anyway
“hello this is chenle, may i ask if you are in gongcha right now?” 
you looked around the people who’s passing by hoping to see someone fancy looking holding their phones
suddenly someone stops right in front of you
“found you” 
with that, chenle hangs up and sits across the table from you
“hi, i’m chenle” he gives his hand out for you to shake
and man, you were shookt
he looks like an ordinary teenager 
or a hypebeast for this occasion 
“o-oh .. h-hello” you bow
chenle suddenly laughs at your reaction 
his laugh is beautiful 
“don’t be nervous baby, i mean no harm” he smiles
his smile that totally made your heart melt
“how could i not? you’re the youngest billionaire out here” you gushed
chenle shushes you after the billionaire part
“sorry about that, it’s just i don’t like it when people tell me that” he tells you casually
ok humble king
“have you ordered yet? if not let’s order right now, on me” he grabs his wallet from his pocket and heads inside gongcha
after taking your orders, you two sat outside again with your drinks
“so y/n.. tell me about yourself” chenle takes a sip of his drink
“well, like i told you last night, i’m a student in college and i live with my brother who’s a doctor and that’s about it.. what about you, mr. zhong” you giggled
“first of all, don’t call me mr. zhong. you can call me lele instead and i love music and i like to play the piano and sometimes i sing” he shares, showing off his pearly whites
and after some many more conversations with him, he finally asks you an important question
“ok last question” he laughs, “i know it’s kinda weird but i really like your company and i know we met through a sugar daddy/sugar baby app but would you like.. stay with me..?” he asks cautiously
you stared at him with wide eyes
“i’ll pay for everything you want.. just,, stay or keep me company..?”
you kept quiet, just in shock on what just happened
“it’s okay if you don’t want to, just forget that i asked” he laughs awkwardly
“no it’s okay, i’ll keep you company but please please don’t pay for everything. i can pay for myself” you tell him
“why not? i got money, i can spoil you with gifts” he looks at you confused
“if you can’t remember, i’ve got a brother who’s a doctor and i guess we’re loaded too you know” you roll your eyes at him
“pfft okay then so.. where were we” 
and with that you guys carry on your conversation 
months has passed and you’ve been with chenle through everything
every time something happened in his company, you were there comforting him or just keeping him sane through out everything
and within those months, you’ve seen different sides of him as well
like the serious side of him– when he’s in business meeting and you’re his plus one 
aside from his secretary of course
the funny side of him– when he’s cracking jokes to literally everyone
sometimes he takes days off in the midst of his own company just to pull pranks on his secretary, renjun
and of course, his vulnerable side– when he feels he can’t do what his father left him, the family legacy
there were night where you had to stay over at his place just to make him calm down or just to make sure he’s sleeping or eating well 
and tonight was those vulnerable nights of chenle
here you were in his room, on the floor holding his hand as he rants about how his day turned to shit 
“it’s just so.. hard you know?” he opens up, “when everyone expects you to follow a certain life but i’m not all about that business shit life! i want to sing or fucking play the piano or do some teenager shit not this paper work life!” his voice cracks at the end of his sentence
“ah shit i’m crying in front of you again” he laughs, wiping the tears 
you don’t say anything but held his hand tighter
“thanks y/n.. you’re the best” he smiles down at you
“anything for you, chenle. that’s why i’m here for you right? to keep you company” you smile back
“can you.. come up here with me” chenle motions for you to sit beside him on the bed
you agree and climbed up
chenle sits up awkwardly, staring at you.
“woah this is the first time i had a girl on my bed” he giggles
“then i’m honoured” you laugh
suddenly your phone vibrates multiple times
you take a look and its your brother looking for you
“who is it?” chenle asks
“it’s my brother, he said i should go home” you slowly push yourself from his comfy bed
“no, it’s late. i’ll take you home first thing in the morning” 
“i don’t want to be a burden to you lele” you say shyly
“you’re never a burden to me y/n” chenle smiles again
that night, you slept in his very arms for the first time
you wake up earlier that him and decided to prepare breakfast for him
you set the eggs and bacon on the table with orange juice
you smiled at your efforts, hoping he’d like it
chenle woke up in distraught since you were no where in sight
he was in his pajama pants and he rushed downstairs to check if you were still there
and thankfully, you were
you were on the dining table, waiting for him with breakfast ready
“good morning” he grins, face looking brighter than ever
you smile back at him, “good morning to you too, sleepyhead. help yourself with some breakfast”
chenle takes a seat and sips on the orange juice next to him, “did you make this?” he asks
you nod, “for you” 
you could’ve swore you saw him blush for a moment there 
and with that, you two ate in peace, just enjoying each other’s company
a few days later
you couldn’t make it to chenle’s office since you had classes and it was exam week 
chenle was obviously very lonely that week
even his own secretary checked up on him cause he was awfully quiet ever since you came into his life
“so how are you and y/n huh” renjun casually asks chenle who was busy reading papers on the table
“we’re doing great” chenle replies nonchalantly 
“are you two going steady now?”
that question made chenle halt to a stop on what he was doing
renjun notices that chenle turned quiet
“i never asked her to be official” chenle gasps, scaring renjun in the process
“wha-”
“renjun hyung can you get me the biggest bouquet bundle you can find” chenle rushes
renjun nods and grabs his ipad, looking for what chenle requested
“fuck.. what did y/n wanted again” chenle asks himself, trying to remember the bag or things you told him about
“call jisung and tell him we’re going to the mall” chenle tells renjun yet again, rushing to the elevator so he could go to the mall with his best buddy
“so what are we buying your special someone again?” jisung asks chenle who was busy pacing around the mall
“y/n said she wanted a bag but i cant remember what was it” chenle tells jisung who just looks as lost as he was
chenle ended up going to every luxury store they had in the mall
like louis vitton, gucci, prada, balenciaga, fendi
you name it he went there and bought one bag each
he even went to some make up stores thanks to jisung’s suggestion
surprisingly he had a girlfriend who was a makeup artist and puts make up on jisung’s face when they have nothing to do
and of course, chenle followed what his best friend suggested
now they were on their way back to your place cause you just texted chenle that you were almost done with your exam
chenle and jisung unload his car and went straight up to your apartment that you shared with your brother
and your brother answers the door
“uh chenle? what are you doing here?” jaemin answers the door
chenle stood there in shock once again, “jaemin hyung? you’re y/n’s brother?” he stares at jaemin confused.
jaemin nods slowly before realization hits him, “you’re the person y/n is seeing?!” 
chenle nods uncertainly, slightly offended you never told jaemin about him but quickly shrugs it off. 
“well surprise! now can you help us with this? i’m asking y/n to be my girlfriend when she arrives home” 
jaemin immediately steps in and helps the two boys
after an hour or so, everything is now set into place
now they were just waiting for you to arrive
chenle stood there with his usual work attire which was a formal suit, holding a big ass bouquet and the paper bags right behind him
“jisung how do i look?!” chenle looks at jisung who was showing him two thumbs up
“dashing bro, she’ll say yes in no time”
and as if on cue, you walked in
and to say you were shocked to see chenle standing there 
“lele! what are you doing here?” you covered your mouth in shock as you saw the never ending line of paper bags right behind him and the bouquet he was holding
“i’m here to ask you to be mine” he replies, staring at you once again
“does my brother know you’re here?” you look around your living room and you spot jaemin in the kitchen, watching the entire thing go down
“yeah. why didn’t you tell me he was your brother” chenle pouts, but shakes his head as he hands you the bouquet
chenle clears his throat once again, “na y/n.. would you be my first and last girlfriend?” he closes his eyes tight, waiting for your response
“i would be honoured” you take the bouquet off his hands and jumped into his arms
“about time you asked her” jisung comments in the background
“baby look, i got you some gifts!” chenle puts you down and shows you the abundant amount of things he got you
you smacked him in the chest, “what did i say about you giving me expensive gifts!” 
“let me spoil you, please? you showed me how loving someone wholeheartedly is priceless, and i want to return the favor in my own way” chenle shows you his infamous puppy eyes.
“lele you’re making me cry!” you tear up, hidng your face in his neck
“also because i can’t remember the thing you told me you wanted a few days ago so i had to compromise” chenle giggles
you were happy
and he was happy
who knew an app could bring you two together and end up like this
the end!
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swifty-fox · 4 years
Note
Please tell me about 1920s Russian socioeconomic policy
PLEASE LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT 1920′s RUSSIAN SOCIOECONOMIC POLICY
 so 1920′s Russian socio-economic policy was in a few short words. entirely fucked.  Granted the issue goes farther back than 1920′s! basically up until then Russia had been functioning as a mostly closed society in that they rejected the industrial age of the mid to late 1800′s. They believed that they were superior as a country and did not want interference from other religions and cultures (the Great Schism took no prisoners) So essentially at the turn of the 20th century Russia was still almost in the middle ages (granted there was some technology leakage etc. it was more prevalent in upper society to be more modernized) BUT they still had peasants and serfs and people living as they had done hundreds if not thousands of years ago (something like 80% of Russians were impoverished and working as serfs ((that might only be white Russians there's like 32 ethnic Russian groups nobody likes to talk about)) ) 
cutting for length
so naturally people are like mad pissed about that right? they want to be part of the progression of the world they want to be educated and to travel and to have access to medicine and technology and all the benefits of ‘modern’ society. but Tsar Nikolai says no. This is a huge part of his downfall, his unwillingness to change (also vague antisemitism ((they used to conduct these things called Pogroms which was basically localized exterminations of Jewish people. it was fucked up and vastly condemned by a lot of people but the powers that be used the Jewish people as a scapegoat because uhhh 1800′s and 1900′s be like that)), being REALLY bad at war, Rasputin, excessive spending and wealth, a little spice of police brutality and a few massacres as well as aggressive heavy-handed tactics against terrorists. Great family man. Bad leader.) 
Anyways fast-forward through the Russian revolution that's a whole can of worms
Now we have a new government. not a better government but a NEW one with vastly different ideas of what they’re going to do. 
Another sidetrack, lets talk about Communist Theory for a sec. I’m going to go into Karl Marx’s original intention as Russian Communism is actually a twice bastardized idea of Communist (Lenin developed his theory of communism from people like Georgi Plekhanov and  Nikola Chernechevskey’s book What Is To Be Done?  who were also putting their own spin on Marxism) 
ANYWAYS. The basic idea of of Karl Marx’s Communist theory is that society will eventually, over the course of hundreds or thousands of years, develop through capitalism and unto a utopian world where we have no need for things live government or taxes or money. The concept here being over hundreds or thousands of years and NATURALLY.
The Bolsheviks (Led by Lenin) Looked at that and said mmmm no lets do it in like twenty years. 
it’s 1921 and Lenins NEW ECONOMIC POLICY (fondly nicknamed NEP) enters STAGE LEFT (get it) 
The basic idea of NEP was to blend capitalist (i.e a private market) with communist ideals (i. e. no market) and Fast-Track us to glorious utopian communism in not a few hundred years but in a few years! 
sounds doable right? 
the basic idea of NEP was that there would be limited private property that would ultimately be mostly owned by people that Lenin approved of (allies, benefactors, heroes of the glorious revolution for mother Russia and so on) There were things called prodravzyorstka  which was forced grain requisitions by the communist party for the good of the people  basically soldiers would come in and take most of the famers grain and left them to starve. There was also an imposed a tax on farmers that could be paid in -you guessed it!- more grain! NEP abolished that and instead allowed for a cash payout the harder that farmers worked. Productivity went up like 40% in the years following! Pretty great!!
It also incentivized and supported the formation of unions (they were communists remember, those bitches love unions) All in all it was....pretty decent? It wasn’t exactly communist as essentially it was just tax returns or the government buying grain from peasants rather than the peasants having to sell the grain themselves. Pretty great right! 
But it created an imbalance. Again, that Russia wanted to do was industrialized! they wanted to become modern but they didn't want to follow the way any other country did it and they wanted to do it in a fraction of the time! As the government and the ECONOMY began relying on the small farms for grains and vegetables and resources, the big factories and institutions that were privately owned were STRUGGLING!  as a result, they had to raise their prices to try to pay for themselves. But now those same farmers couldn't afford the industrial things they needed! like equipment for their farm tools and tractors or household goods. So now they have to raise THEIR food prices in response. It was a great way to inflate the economy after WII and the revolution. But obviously we all know where this is going. 
And then Boom. Lenin dies. The man had one too many strokes and croaks out in his country home without a successor named. The government is in chaos. Nobody knows what to do. Shortly before his death lenin wrote a (frankly quite funny) letter saying all his successors were fucking idiots and he hated them all.
In steps Stalin. If you think Lenin was bad...Stalin is a fucking bastard. The guy is even MORE antisemetic, brutal, corrupt, mysogynistic and RACIST. The man really hated the chinese. he also hated Georgians (the country not the state) which is pretty funny because he was Georgian. 
Anyways, he abolishes NEP and implements something called the Five Year Plan (NEP 2 for the jokesters out there) 
Stalin shifts the focus away from boosting agricultural development and focuses on rapid industrialiation in, you guessed it, FIVE YEARS. The stats on this plan are fucking insane man get this:
Staling wanted an 111% increase in coal production, 200% increase in iron production and 335% increase in electric power!!! in FIVE YEARS. 
(he also eliminated a class of people called “kulaks” which were richer farmers by turning the poor farmers against them. By elimate I mean they were murdered and their property distributed amongst the poorer farmers.)
I could go on and on about all the ways this failed, all the brutality, unethical and unsafe work enviroments, the continued programs, the amoutn of people who were murdered, the prison(slave) labor used, the rounding up and mass murder of anyone who spoke out against Stalin, the Five Year Plan or the russian government. This is really where the Soviet Union as we know it as westerners got its reputation. 
Also he caused TWO famines because he made all the farmers move into the city to be industry workers so they ddint have any food and didnt accept help from the Red Cross or other countries because MUHHH MOTHERLAND
but you know what it kiiinda worked? Capital increase was almost 160%, consumer goods increased by 87% and total output was up almost 120%!
But also it caused one of the worst famines in the western world with an estimated 6million (some people argue as many as 10million. We will never know the true number because it was mostly peasants and ethnic people suffering) people dying across the entire Soviet Union. Poeple were dying out on the streets in broad daylight, people were selling their dead children to be food. You can see pictures if you google it but they’re very graphic.
Generally, the Five-Year-Plan was lauded as a massive failure and a hotbed of absolutely disgusting human abuse and cruelty. And you knwow what Stalin said? He said nah it went well and implemented about FIVE MORE (theres been twelve in all but they exent up into the early 90′s) I wont touch on them as they were all pretty much iterations of Stalins original one and they all sucked.
Basically Russian Socioeconomic Policy is a hotbed of bad decisions, human rights violations and a LOT of interpersonal drama that i do not have the time to get into. (like the fucking DRAMA between Stalin and Nadezhda Krupskaya (lenins wife))
theres also a LOT more to it I just tried to condense like 40 years into one post so please feel free to go out and research your own! I used Peter Kenez’ “A History of the Soviet Union From the Beginning to its Legacy” while in class. It’s a little dry but effective 
theres also this book by my professor who is a DELIGHT https://www.amazon.com/Red-Arctic-Exploration-Soviet-1932-1939/dp/0195114361 and while I havent read it im sure its told with the same humor and zeal that he conducted his lectures 
also this bOOK THIS BOOK RIGHT HERE is SUCH a good read!
https://www.amazon.com/Vasily-Grossman-Soviet-Century-Alexandra-ebook/dp/B07P9HJMLM/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=the+soviet+century&qid=1589727805&sr=8-4 if you read any of them read this one! it examines the entire rise and fall of the communist party through the story of Grossman who was a jewish-russian writer and pretty famous in his own right though he died penniless and scorned. He’s got a couple movies based off his books out there two which were shelved for criticizing the party for decades! please read it i beg you
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zephyr-94 · 5 years
Text
barista!jaemin
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inspired by the one and only, puff live!
a/n: this is my first ever fic omg pls spare me with my low writing skills cause ive literally never done this fjskdjdhjdks okay i just love na jaemin periodt. (after writing: ITS VERY JUMPY AND LENGTHY I DIDNT PLAN TO MAKE IT LIKE THIS DJSKJSJSS)
so like your aunt owns a cafe which is in the middle of the city
and you live a lil outside just cause you know, school n shit
you visit her so often cause its a small cafe and it calms you down whenyou need a short break from everything
its weird thats its in the middle of the city but its still calming right?
well okay so like you know those small streets down the neighbourhoods?
the ones you dont really go unless you are rlly feeling adventurous n shit, your aunt’s cafe is in one of those streets
okay longass context down
and at school, you are in a photography club,,, or technically you just learn photography from your teacher after school but its not a whole club extravaganza
just cause your school kinda demands an extra curricular after the first year
but it feels really suffocating to be forced to do smth as a group/with people you arent as familiar with,,,,
so you “signed up” for the smallest club: [photography theory]
it was about time you start doing your hobby-ish thing at school and the tutor was cool with you being practically the only student in the club lmao so everything was going well but
youve never rlly done anything big yourself and your school friends havent pushed you to do smth either
so you were kind of looking to at least take part in one out-of-class project initiated by students maybe
and theres this big school newspaper club/writers’ club,,,, and you find out that they are like !! photographers & stories wanted !!
and you ?? at first but apparently its a project where like students get to submit their fav pic & write a mini article about “your place of comfort”
cause the topic of the month is mental health/dealing with stress and the newspaper club wants a students’ view on it, instead of just “meditation” as a topic
then you just have that cafe in your mind like,,, how you would love to shoot the street light shining into the cafe from afar and how calm that place makes you feel,,,
basically you just love your auntie’s cafe lmao
so then you go on about maybe joining it,,, but then you be indecisive cause youve never actually taken a photo professionally you just have a prolonging passion for it,,,
and your teacher is like “y/n idk why you are contemplating no ones gonna judge you just try smth new, go take the chance if you are feeling like it”
we love a supportive johnny, oh yes your english teacher is your photography “club” tutor,,, self proclaimed club
actually there have been many opportunities in the past with taking photos for projects like this one but you just stayed away cause it didnt “motivate” you to take photos for it
so johnny’s words kinda pushed your back n you felt like this was the right thing :))
so then you visit your auntie on the weekends asking maybe if you can take pics & ask her a couple questions about this place
and shes like ofc!! wanna see how you capture this place :))
so then you do this whole process and you submit the article & photos,,,,,
which ends up getting a whole page???
and you are like wh a t
newspaper club: oh you submitted many such pretty pictures & your comment felt very genuine
and you :)) but damn a whole page,,,, you is a lil anxious djskdjdh now the entire schools now going to know you
johnny the hype man teacher: see i told you it was going to turn out nice
and then kaboom, your article lowkey blows up lmao
your auntie is calling you up like “y/n!! so many customers came today!! and a lot of them are wearing the same uniform as you, they must be the students from your school!!”
and shes so happy so you are happy af
but then you remember like,,,, shes never had a part timer,,,,,
and she continues to manage the place by herself after it gets popular among the students,,,,
?? auntie,,, you never take a break ??
shes like maybe ill think about hiring someone?? and you are like, that would be good for you :)) i will be less worried about your health!!
whoop guess who got hired
and after youve had that^ conv, you had constant classes n group projects n shit so you literally had no time,,,
two weeks later, kinda highkey stressed
you decide to go make a quick visit to auntie before going to the library to study
and you peek,,, to see not your auntie,,,,
but a boy?? 
just standing behind the counter,,, no auntie to be seen but a beautiful boy???
before the opening hours,,,, he?? must be the part timer,,,
and once he notices you by the door,
he just smiles at you,,, so brightly,,,,
wow youve never seen such a pretty face,,,
you actually like forget to open the door you are just staring from outside the cafe,,,,
and he just waves,,, and you snap back to reality like oh shit did i just stare at someone for a solid minute
welp that was embarrassing djkdjdfj
he opens the door for you and goes “hey you must be y/n :))”
“the only person who comes before 9am, thats you isnt it?”
and you just ?¿ confusion??¿
“auntie told me about it :)) hi, nice to meet you, im jaemin!!”
you are still confused but you just shake hands next to the counter,,,
and as you take a seat
jaemin just makes a smol run to the other side and hes like
“you came just in time, i want you to try my latte!!”
jaemin serves a cup of latte with a leaf art
this boy just served a latte first thing after shaking hands i-
you take a sip from the cup
and you are like,,, so auntie hired an experienced boy,,,,
“its really good,,,” it has the same comforting taste you always love
and jaemin just has the biggest smile :)))) you know his smile where the ends just curl in, yes that one
him beaming like that just makes you giggly inside,,,,
you ask him “so uh um im guessing you are the part timer??”
“yes!! i didnt introduce myself properly did i! i started working here two weeks ago :))
ive been coming here for quite a while now so im happy i got the chance!!”
and you ?¿ “ive never seen you here??” you are the most frequent customer youve gotta have seen him before fjsksj
hes like “oh um i always came at 9pm on a friday, after everyone leaves and the whole neighbourhood gets quiet”
you just :o
and come to think of it, you’ve never visited here on a friday night,, cause you know, friday evening is your im not doing anything tonight kinda me time lmao
inside you are kinda happy that someone who knows this place got hired like its a special place to you so
tbh you were kinda anxious even though you trust your aunt,,,,,
and jaemin hurriedly goes “oh and also auntie is taking a break today, shes out to the market so im gonna take over until she returns in the afternoon”
djskdj auntie why didnt she tell you lmao
“im sorry if you needed anything specific from her,,, you should stay for a while until she comes back maybe?”
and you are like,,, “oh that would be great,,, but unfortunately i have to go to the library,,,,”
jaemin: ): he pout
“im so glad you came today tho!! i wanted to see you :) auntie has told so many thing about you”
“wait,, what has she told you,, omg”
apparently shes told jaemin
a) reason why this cafe recently became a popular hideout cafe for students because you wrote a school article bout it
b) that you do photography
c) and that this cafe is your break time so you never study here and auntie loves listening to you talk about school n what not
and then you are like !!
“wait so then you dont go to our school ,,,um are you also a student?”
and you panic a little cause i mean you just met him but you literally know nothing and you mightve assumed things fjsksj
and jaemin tells you “ah yes i go to a hospitality school downtown” “ohh”
and from there he just starts talking about his school and what he studies
he asks you about school but jaemin is extra excited about his hospitality course hes all !! :))!!
and you are so hooked on jaemin talking about his school you forget an hour passes by,,,,
[time to open the cafe]
then the customers start coming in
and you are like “oh sorry ive just bothered you during the preparation time,,,,, it was nice meeting you!! gotta go now :))”
and you rush out cause all you planned to do was give your auntie a little visit
also you dont want to bother jaemin cause its hes gonna handle the place alone for a couple hours
you wave a smol see you soon and
jaemin just does a little chuckle,, and hes like waving so widely fjsksj does he know other people can see him
and thats how your first day with jaemin went
later that day you return home thinking like,,, did you just get so excited to converse with someone who you juSt met,,,
na jaemin’s power
and jaemin on the other hand, is thinking about how beautiful you looked today
just that short while but it made him so happy
hes thinking about you all week uwu
so next week you visit again, expecting to see your auntie
and maybe also that gleaming boy
peeking through before the opening hours
the moment jaemin realises you hes like “y/n!!” what a shining boy
and aunties like “oh y/n right you met him last week when i was out right”
that morning you just talk to auntie about what shes been missing on after you went on a busy week
mind that jaemin is literally just listening to you & auntie talk
and he enjoys it cause you talk so comfortably in front of her :))
you decide to stay the whole day to give yourself a break
which meant you moved to your usual spot by the window
and auntie serving you (free) vanilla latte
you take out your camera and just start adjusting the lenses, trying to find the right frame
customers come and go so you dont get to talk to jaemin a lot that day
but its not like you came here for him,,,, right?¿??¿??
while you were thinking all that
jaemin was asking about you all day like
“so y/n’s favourite is vanilla?”
“does y/n prefer a latte over cappuccino?”
“i want to serve y/n something,,,, what would be the best??”
auntie: how many times did he mention y/n today omg
and as auntie answers
jaemin is thinking like
i wanna see y/n smile
and the entire day your auntie is like !!he :)))))
lmao same auntie same
so when the peak hours finish she goes
“i can take care of everything now, go talk to y/n”
and jaemin just smiles brighter than ever
so when he comes around, you startle
but it puts a smile on your face
because hes brought your favourite cake and just a smiling jaemin in front of you uwu
you both get to know more about each other like
how theres this two boys named chenle & jisung in the preparatory course whom he adores to death
or like
theres this jeno boy whose jokes suck jeno i love you
with a bonus of
you talking about how johnny’s english class is nothing but a comedian’s lesson
so that day went great
and now that you are comfortable
you visit the cafe to talk with jaemin more
even when you have a chill no stress week
it just makes you feel lighter by coming to the cafe now
and your auntie is hella happy that you two are getting along so well
it continues for weeks
just you and jaemin talking from time to time when the peak hours are over or before the cafe opens
you became best pals basically
he encouraged you to join more school projects cause hes sure your photography is worth the chance
you giving him daily support when he feels like he isnt doing the best for his course
sometimes when your aunt had to leave for a couple hours near closing time
you two just stayed there talking for a couple hours giving comfort to each other
late night lattes and cakes
also one time you got so excited from the bestest grades you got you might have hugged him without thinking oops
and one day, jaemin’s friend renjun is there when you come after school
and hes like “hi uh dont mind me im just here a bit because jaemin has to go somewhere after this and i dont want him to be late”
so you just,,, chill as jaemin kinda rushes
and when he goes to the storage room, you just see renjun getting along with the auntie lmao
auntie: “so i got offered this contract with the new type of beans? and idk if i should take it because that would mean i have to go out of the city,,,,”
renjun: “for how long?”
auntie: “two weeks maybe”
renjun: “oh thats fine, dont worry about it. jaemin can take over that. next two weeks right? his mandatory work experience ends this week”
so thats how renjun signed jaemin up to work alone for auntie without his consent
and aunties like “y/n!! it would be so much for just jaemin, you should help him :) your break starts next week right?”
so you also got signed up to this thing
fast forward to first day of break
aka the first time you “work” there
you are nervous and jaemin can feel it
“dont worry y/n, ill do all the talking and coffee, you just have to serve & clean!!”
so you try to calm down a bit
not to mention that you are also nervous cause its only jaemin and you in the room
but then he sees you fumbling with tying the apron and
jaemin says “here, give it, ill do it for you” while smiling a little
and from the back he wraps the apron around your waist,,,
and hes so close to you,,, your heart is fluttering
okay heart stop beating so fast pls thank you
and little do you know,,, jaemin is flushing a bit behind your back,,,
you are both the cutest mess
and you break the silence with a smol
“thanks :))”
trying to contain yourself from screaming
adapting to the serving side & keeping youself busy
you dont realise jaemin is literally admiring you the entire time as you get used to the job,,,,
here and then you forget how close you might be standing next to jaemin,,,
you kinda also realise how rEALLY attractive he looks serving everyone with a huge smile 24/7
and the way some customers are obviously attracted to him,,,,
but what you dont know is he is literally taking this chance to highkey flirt with you lmao
waves (sometimes winks) across the room
causally hovers over you when you cant find/reach smth
beaming the biggest smile every minute he gets to himself
and at first you panicked like ?!????
cause was this jaemin boy holding back for a whole month
is this his nature yes
but it makes you so happy to see him smiling all the time beside you
so jaemin yes its working
you gotta admit tho his flirty-ish behaviour grew on you this entire week djskjssj
a week of giggly smiles uwu
but the week after was unexpectedly the busiest of the busiest
you two forgot national holidays collided with the weekends and for some, it was a week off,,,,,,
so the week rushes by so quickly compared to the last one
it kind saved you tho cause your heart cant take more of that flirty behaviour
and finally,
the peak days are over,,,
and you realise its been a while since the cafe was just you,,,, and well jaemin but just no customers
the silence with faint sounds of cups cluttering,,,, you missed it
so then you go sit on the high chair
just admiring jaemin organise the shelves
he starts to prepare a new cup of coffee then realises you smiling at him “were you in awe at how effortless i look right now??”
you chuckle at his remark,,,
(needless to say that your are chuckling to hide how your heart is melting at his smirky smile)
so you twirl a bit shyly,, and avert the gaze to the familiar wood of the counter
asking him “do you remember the day we first saw each other, me sitting here and you serving the latte?”
“ofc, its the day i met an angel”
oh so confidently na jaemin really just said that
you quickly look up at him like !!!?!???!
and thats how he earned a first kiss (or rather a peck) from you
leaning over the counter and pecking you, a whole blushy mess
then comes a clink by the door
you juMp,,,,,,,
oof the customer may or may not have seen you two
you both rush around flushed like a tomato lmao
spending the rest of the day like nothing happened oops
and after the day ends, you two close the cafe
as you starting walking you are caught off guard when
jaemin just takes your hand,,,
“look y/n!! the stars are so pretty!!”
and starts swinging your arm like a tall child,,,
your heart is skippingnsjsjsjs
then at the corner, jaemin turns around and goes
“this is actually the place i first saw you”
and you ??¿?¿¿
“i saw you taking the photo of this night light shining into the cafe”
still hand in hand, jaemin steps a little closer
and takes his free hand to cup your face, kissing you,,,,
you smile into him as he kisses so softly, thinking
maybe the day i took that photo was a friday night
and melting into the kiss, you really think you are dreaming,,,,,
under the lights you once wished capturing a sparkling moment with the cafe in the back
its now you and jaemin in the frame,,,,
the boy who had you forgetting to breathe a month ago
whos now serving your favourite latte with a bonus of pecks on the cheek,,,,, (maybe on the lips if theres no one watching)
anyways
jaemin brings light to your life and you have never been this happy until you met him uwu
and it goes both ways, jaemin cant live without you now,,,, you are the best thing thats ever happened to him
(thank the heavens & your auntie)
oh and also johnny for pushing you to submit that article lmao plus huang renjun for that involuntary sign up
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leviathiane · 5 years
Note
SHOW US YOUR WROR RAW UNPROCESSED WHOLE GRAIN ORGANIC NOTES
this is going to be a long-ass post i am so sorry to Everyone! i take a lot of notes.
So, as You specifically know (as well as all of my lovely Soggers) I take a LOT of notes. Obsessively. I write fucking everything bc i have very little memory and very much paranoia. This results in literal Piles of notes. Raw planning, on paper, on my phone– doodles of scenes im brainstorming, bulletpoints, entire SCRIPTS– it’s all there but scattered (I’ve got scenes planned in the margins of my goddamn anthropology notes and deciphering it was a NIGHTMARE) 
I won’t even upload all the photos of my writing notebook, because itd be like 50 pages of illegible nonesense. but heres a couple of planning phase pages. (may be hard to read, I dropped this notebook both into some tidepools, into a creek on campus, and accidentally leaked my waterbottle onto it in my backpack :/) 
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if you can’t tell already, yes they all look exactly like this. Some are even more illegible, because I wrote them with the notebook half under my actual class notes. Because i wrote most of them in class. During lectures. And pretending very badly that i was not doing exactly that. (pay attention in class please i got away with this bc i was filling up elective units) 
I’m also flat out MISSING a large portion of my notes bc some of it? isnt even in the damn notebook. its on a sheet of binder paper, or on the empty back of an assignment. I’ve now lost most of those notes, but the ones i do still have are just as (even more, actually) indecipherable chicken scratch: 
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Wow, how clean and tidy and easy to follow! i am in hell. 
and this doesnt mention the PAGES and PAGES of outlines that are on my laptop, and the pages of outlined scenes that are on the notes app of my phone. if i put them all, you would have entire chapter spoilers up to the very end of the story so i cant post a lot of them– and also theres just a goddamn lot of them. currently i have 16 pages of outlining. There are no spacing breaks. It is a solid 16 page block of text. Looking at it gives me a migraine. 
some assorted notes which i have dredged up from the deleted parts of the main draft google doc go all the way back to when i started Wror in June and they are Barely more readable than my handwriting on sheer account of: articulation is not my strength. These include: 
“Ch 8 plan: sabo gets trained specially, awakens his armament haki, beats ace in a bunch of spars and proves himself to be anything but vulnerable. The boys are like “we fucking recognize that technique ryu taught you before us!!” and goad ryu into finally starting them both on basic haki training, just to awaken it, since sabo already has. Also this is the chapter that ace finally confronts ryu for his devil fruit after ryu confirms that some devil fruit users can’t be hurt without haki and ace immediately catches onto that and tries to slam his pipe through ryus head. It doesn’t work, ryu catches the weapon with a haki covered hand, to avoid turning to flame with hit and ace just gets frustrated and accuses ryu of hiding his devil fruit, because he remembers what he saw in grey terminal and that now that he has seen haki he can distinguish it from what he saw and he’s sure no one could do what ryu did. He calls ryu a hypocrite for coddling them even after telling them to stop coddling sabo and ryu has to sit them down and explain that yes he does have powers and he has been hdiing it and explains his reasoning. However instead of understanding th eboys just get fired up and say they don’t wnt to be scared of fire, especially not when it means ryu isn’t taking them seriously in a spar. Ryu finally agrees to start them on desensitization training for fire trauma. Fire desensitization training happens on the beach, so that they have water nearby in case things get out of hand. At some point ace gives ryu a considering look and is just like “if you have a devil fruit that means you can’t swim either right?” and ryu is basically just like “lmao yeah” and then ace immediately attempts to drown him. Lots of murder attempts in ace’s department toget his older brother to be less of an idiot with little success lol(extra: ace tried to attack ryu earlier both to confirm that ryu has a devil fruit that would force him to use haki to hide it, and because he now knows that he CAN’T hurt ryu without haki and as thus can’t beat him and make him admit he’s awake without being good at haki.)” [chapter 8] 
“Small sabo lost his hat and goggles in the incident and while he doesn’t remember having them future sabo notices he looks uncomfortable and keeps touching his hair and head. Ace yells at him for it thinking he bandaging are bothering him and that he can’t touch them but little sabo just comments that something about it feels wrong. Luffy blurts our that he had a hat, like luffy does, But he doesn’t now ace begrudgingly mentions that they can’t get a new one in town. Future sabo doesn’t even hesitate and just plops his own hat onto his younger selves head. It clearly too big for him, and almost falls over his eyes but he grins up at future sabo and is like “wow!! Thank you! I’ll take care of it till I have one of my own” and creates a paradox like Luffys own hat. The footsteps younger sabo has yet to fill. This HAS to happen AFTER the talk where they explain that future and past sabo are both the same person, to give little sabo that pressure.” [chapter 9]
“(Right after this older sabo takes them down to the ocean so that they can play a little and desensitize themselves and immediately fucks himself over when he goes weak in the water bc he somehow fucking forgot his own devil fruit again and now even younger sabo is on his case about not letting him near the fucking ocean that little goddamn HYPOCRITE—) )” [for chapter 9]
“Ch 9 plan: they finally leave dawn island. Starts with the boys getting a haircut after training and luffy mentions how long it’s been since they’ve last needed a haircut, giving sabo and ace time to point out that it’s been 2 months now since ryu joined them, and that sabo was completely healed by now. The boys are now aware of the basics of haki, and while luffy hasnt awakened either yet ace and sabo both have a little bit of weak armament haki. (sabo won’t awaken observational haki until he gets his memories back) ryu tries to sneak off into the city to steal a boat but his brothers refuse to leave him behind and keep sneaking out after him, not wanting him to go alone and saying that since he’s been training them they’re clearly stronger and he needs to let them do this. Ryu eventually just lets it go because why the fuck not it’s a dream and they make him feel better. They get the boat out on open ocean and finally fucking sail out, cheering loudly, ryu struggling to make them all calm down but also not really trying. He’s happy as shit, and they’re all so excited and happy and sabo dips a hand into the waves and then smiles so fucking wide and tackles ryu so violently they both nearly tip into the water and it’s just very very good. “ [also for ch 9] 
** I flat out dont Have any outlining from before chapter 6, because i only started actually outling chapters after that. i tend to just sit down and Write up until i hit a plot point or writers block and then am forced to actually think it through and plan rather than letting it come naturally. thats also why the quality and editing is better in later chapters despite everything being written within the same time frame. 
besides entire chapter outlines, there are the scene specific phone notes like:
“(ADDED) Right after they leave dawn, when sabo is sure they’ve gotten enough of a head start, he calls Garp. He doesn’t say who he is, but that all of the boys are safe and happy with him and has them all talk into the phone to assure him that they’re fine. Garp is honestly just pissed off he doesn’t know who’s calling and when he asks sabo just laughs and says a disobedient brat before hanging up. “
“(ADDED) TO EXPAND ON CH 3: sabo gets offered the chance to go with dragon, and he hesitates on the offer to go through with his previous life with the family he’s made in the revolutionary again. He almost agrees, because the bought of losing them in this lifetime is near excruciating but reminds himself swiftly that it’s no place for his brothers and not what they’d really want, and he wants selfishly to be with them as long as he Can until he “inevitably” wakes up. The boys are visibly relieved by this, especially ace. (Sabo gets asked who he is by dragon, who wants to know more about the stranger with his son, but dragon has always been quicker to make connections no one guessed and he just smiled knowingly at sabo and tells him he’s sure the other will have no trouble finding them if he’s in need. Sabo in turn warns him to keep Kuma close, and to look for a slave girl named koala.)”
I have…. many of these. I have Many of Everything. 
finally, i have scene doodles. if i hit a bad writers block it usually helps me to sketch scenes or the character designs to regain my grip on what the hell is happening in the plot– Breach of Intention has character design sketches, pakcbond has MANY scene sketches, even some of my nsfw has some sketches. my wror skecthes arent Good of course, I am an art teacher for children and that means i am more often explaining the color wheel and brush techniques over drawing perfect human replicas– and i just dont really make a lot of fanart? ive never drawn sabo before but i sure have a bunch now. i wont include close ups because they genuinely suck but heres an example pic 
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So… yeah thats about everything. this is a VERY long post and yet i only included like maybe ¼ or 1/5 of all the notes i have dbskhjgfkjadns lmk if anyone wants more (or notes for my Other stories, which contain NO WHERE the same absurd amount of shit that wror does.)
5 notes · View notes
blondecarfucker · 6 years
Text
Bed of Roses (Last Chapter - 21)
Roger Taylor x Reader
BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader
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Fic Summary: It's 1971. You just moved to London to study, and you find a band on a local pub after a bad date. The encounter doesn’t go the way you expect it, and neither does what follows this evening as you try to deal with loving Roger Taylor.
Fic Note: So I’ve had this story in my head for the last three weeks and finally decided to write it down. It’s completely planned. It will have 21 chapters and it’s divided in three acts: Dusk, Night and Dawn. It’s will be a bit angsty in the future, and it will most likely have some smut as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! Tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages. If this is your first time stumbling upon Bed of Roses, thank you for stopping by! The rest of the story is in my masterlist, the link is in my bio - can't put the link here or else the post will disappear from the tags.
Chapter's notes: THE LAST CHAPTER. I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE. i feel like before i start my thank yous i could give you some weird trivia on the story. i wrote the entire outline for the fic at a weekend shift at work, where i always have free time. i had some smaller ideas - them meeting at a bar and not seeing again, the whole kensingon-taxi-class thing from the beginning - but there was a sudden burst of inspiration and in like twenty minutes the outline was done, and very little has changed, i mostly just added some more details. also, i imagine the reader as alicia silverstone in the 90s?? idk. i just do. also, the reader thing with new york comes from the fact that i lived there for a while and i miss it so much, so thats why theres so much detail about places and stuff - its my form of revisiting my favourite spots there. also, will (REMEMBER WHEN) was written with sebastian stan in mind, and liv tyler (in her lord of the rings days) was poppy. i did too much research for this fic on queen history, and everytime i had to change something (especially in the first act) so the dates made more sense, it KILLED ME.
anyway, now the thank yous: SHIT THIS FIC IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT CHAPTER ON MY LIFE. its my first time writing such a long story without abandoning it, and my first time writing fiction in english, so i learned so much!! i was doing some research the other day, and the great gatsby is like 47k words long, and the first harry potter is around 70k words long - bed of roses is around 60k words long. this is crazy.
it's also my first story to get this many readers interacting with me, and i'm so grateful for you all!! i thought about thanking you all by name, but i dont want anyone to feel left out so i just want every and each one of you reading these words to know: if you read my story, thank you. thank you for giving me your time of the day, thank you for connecting with what i wrote, thank you for telling me in any way possible that you've enjoyed it. thank you. a writer must write, but theres not a lot of joy in talking to an empty room. you filled my small room with warmth and love and there's not enough words to express my gratitude for you all. thank you.
about my writing: i plan on FINALLY DOING THE MANY REQUESTS I HAVE IGNORED OVER THIS FINAL ACT OF BED OF ROSES - requests are still open, too! i'm also outlining a smaller roger x reader fic where she's one of the videographers on the news of the world documentary, so keep an eye out for that! i'm gonna open a permanent taglist for the requests (and eventual new fic), so if you want to be added, hit me up in the ask box/comments/inbox!
anyway i'll finally wrap up this chapter's note cause you have the final chapter to read. enjoy my loves
Words: nearly 4k
Warnings: none??? part of their dialogue is inspired by some of my favourite movies and books like her and the wife and almost famous and before sunrise and the fault in our stars and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and maybe more I DONT KNOW ITS BEEN AN EMOTIONAL RIDE OK I CANT EVEN REMEMBER WHERE DID I PULL THIS FROM EXACTLY. some errors too cause i didnt revise it completely my bad im crying ok
 ACT 3 - DAWN
"It's the moment night time seems weaker and everything seems easier to figure out"
 Chapter 21
Roger lit a cigarette in the train cabin, and tried to open the top window, the one you can usually pull open.
"Rog, it's not gonna open, you know", you told him as you watched him fiddling with the glass.
"I guess you're right. Hope you won't be bothered by the smoke", he said, taking a puff.
"I won't if you share it with me", you answered, and with a half smile on his lips, Roger lifted the cigarette to your lips, and you breathed in the smoke while looking at him through your lashes.
"Don't look at me like that. Especially if the cigarette smoke is going to leave the cabin sultry and hot", he told you, and you laughed.
"Yeah, and we won't do anything about it", you said, trying to make yourself more comfortable in your seat.
"And why is that?", he asked, batting his lashes innocently at you, you you lightly elbowed his ribs.
"We need to do something else, something we've been ignoring the whole trip", you said, and he raised his brow. "We need to talk about us", you told him, and he breathed out, smoke coming out of his nose.
"I guess you're right again", he said, then slid a bit down on his seat.
You didn't think much about talking about your future with Roger while in Paris, so now has to be the time, on a train that will take you to London and to a whole month of Roger being away, promoting News Of The World.
While in Paris, you never talked to Roger about the future, and talks of the past where subtle - you talked about how you felt with the development Doctor Who took over the years, but didn't think much about the fact that you were separate during years of the show.
You enjoyed the city, but most of all, you enjoyed each other's presence, not only going to museums, churches and castles around you, following them up with fancy dinners and walks along the Seine, but you also spent time inside the room, in your pajamas, ordering take out from restaurants you found on the phone book, having a hard time trying to speak french as Roger tickled the sole of your feet and kept trying to distract you.
You would always remember the peace you felt as you ate cheap chinese food on Roger's shirt on the balcony at night, the Eiffel Tower shining over your meal and Roger's electric blue eyes as he hummed early David Bowie's songs under his breath, or how at home you felt sitting on the couch, Roger on the floor with his head on your lap, his soft strands on your fingers as you tried to braid them while watching re-runs of I Dream of Jenie, Roger focused, trying to understand the french dubbing until he noticed what you were doing.
"Babe, are you trying to braid my hair? Think I'd look better if I'd look more girly?", he said, moving his head back so he can look at you.
"Yeah. Always thought so, but I'll have to keep imagining, since your hair is too short to braid", you pouted, and he laughed.
"Don't you like my new hair, then?", he asked, pouting back, and you moved your head to his level so you could press a quick kiss to his lips.
"I love it, Rog. Especially cause since it's shorter, it looks even messier after I pull it", you said, and he smirked. "My favourite look of yours is when you're all dishevelled after sex", you winked, teasing him.
"That's my favourite, too", he said, turning completely around and pulling you in for a kiss, his hand on the back of your neck.
But now, while in the smoke filled train cabin, you needed to make a few things clear.
"I've been avoiding this for a reason", he said, looking out the window, and you raised your brow, waiting for him to explain. "I have this weird, innate fear of you telling me it's all good but you don't want to see me again, or something", he said, and you gave him a half smile.
"I don't want to do this, Rog. And I won't do it", you told him, and he sighed in relief.
"Even though loving you is a bit complicated, I'll admit. Especially if you're me", you shrugged, and he turned to you, confused.
"Let me explain. I loved your idea for a bed of roses, a few days ago, cause it can exemplify our relationship so well. The roses feel so good against the skin, the smell is so intoxicating, it looks so beautiful - maybe too beautiful, ethereal, even. But then there's always a few thorns here and there, and they hurt so much when they lodge themselves on my skin, but I'm so intoxicated by the whole experience that I don't mind - I convince myself that it's nothing, and even that it's already part of me already, cause the thorns fit so perfectly on me, on my little stabs made by myself, by my own insecurities", you say, and he stares at you.
"What I'm trying to say is that every minute that I'm with you always distract me from the issues that come with being with you - the fact that there's a few expectations that come with being your serious girlfriend, be them always travelling with you while we're young, or eventually staying home once we have kids, knowing that you'll eventually cheat on me with a younger version of myself, while I'm too tired of taking care of the babies to even think about my sexual needs", you said, and you watched him frown.
"I'm not sure where you're going with this-", he started saying, but you cut him off.
"Let me finish, I promise it will get better", you said, fixing your posture as you start again. "But the thing is, I love you. I always have, ever since I started talking to you, you always trying to outflirt me, always seeing me as your equal. You desire me, but you also listen and see me as another human being, you never back down or ignore me if I challenge one of your beliefs, and you never treat me as a trophy-wife-to-be", you say, and you can feel your eyes fill with tears, but you're smiling. That's what you always loved about Roger. He smiled back at you.
"And because I love you, I don't want to deny myself the pleasure of being with you. I'd rather be in a bed of roses than in an empty bed - or worse, a blank bed, someone being there just so it's less cold at night. I want to be with you, Rog", you say, and he pulls you in for a hug, and you hold him back for a few moments before pulling away and looking at him in the eye.
"But also because I love you and I want to be with you, Rog, I don't want us to try to fit into this type of relationship I just mentioned. I don't want you to make me the other woman, either, when you eventually find someone so you can settle down, if it's not me" you said, rubbing your nose. "I guess I want to settle down with you, eventually, as we planned before, but this whole thing - living together and cheating if we're away for too long - it kills me, and I think it kills you, too. I respect you too much to want to cheat on you again, cause if I ever do and you never find out, I'll lose respect for you, and the same thing will happen if you cheat on me and I don't find out. And these are ugly truths, but this isn't our first time together; we know each other, we need to think about this", you told him, and he nodded.
"And I need to make it clear that I'll never be a simple rockstar housewife - I'll never be able to quit my job and look out for the kids while you travel the world and I make them lunch. I'll never be able to sit down on a dinner table on some award show with you and when someone asks me what I'll do, I'll smile as I say I'm a king-maker. I'm not", you said, firmly.
"And I'll never be satisfied with dumb spa and shopping trips as you do the actual work when we travel. If I have to live this life, I'll resent you, and I don't want that. I like being domestic with you, but this type of forced domesticity will poison us again - we're both too wild, too career-focused, for this. We've always been similar", you said, and he gave you a smile as you sighed. "I guess that's all I have to say", you shrugged, and he laughed. "Not much, right?", he said, running his fingers on his hair, pulling the strands back.
"Guess it's my turn now", he said, and you nodded, encouraging him. "When I saw you again, at the pub, there was so much that I wanted to say. I mostly wanted to apologize - it got lost as I got infatuated with you again, and tried to get you in bed - you know, usual stuff", he winked, and you laughed.
"But yeah, I kept looking at you while you updated me on your life, your skin glooming under the stars and the moonlight, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. Cause no matter what - even if you had decided on never seeing me again after all this - I'll always love you, because we grew up together. And you helped make me who I am", he said, moving strands of your hair behind your ear.
"I just want you to know that there will always be a piece of you in me, always. Whatever someone you become, wherever you are in the world, however this" he said, pointing his finger to the two of us "works out, in whatever form it might take", he said, sighing "I'll always send you love. Before being anything else to me - and I hope to God you're always something more - you'll always be my friend, to the end", he told you, and the tears were already streaming down your cheeks. His cheeks soon mirrored yours.
"And now, after you so eloquently told me all your fears about our future, I need you to know something else, too", he said, as you wiped the tears under your eyes. "I always loved you for being the way you are. You always challenge me, you always make me work harder, try harder, to be better. And it's not even something you force me to do; I just follow your lead. The way you look was what first got into me, I won't lie, but the way you are is what made me stay. It's what will always make me stay", he said, a genuine smile on his lips. He made you feel warm, like the sun.
"You're the smartest person I know, you're funny, you enjoy sex, you're unapologetic, you're proud of who you are, even proud of your insecurities. And you have such a huge importance in my life: you made me who I am. Whatever way you want to make us work, I trust you. I just want to be with you, in whatever form it takes", he said, smiling, and then getting up and opening his bag.
"I forgot to give you something", he said, pulling a string out of the front pocket. You recognized the red glimmer. It was the heart necklace. "It's still yours to keep. Even though it's not in its original glory, it will always be yours. The necklace and my heart", he said, and you couldn't help but smile at him.
"Always so cheesy, Taylor", you said, joking as you moved your hair to the side so he could put the necklace on.
"You always loved it", he winked, and you laughed. "I do", you said, smiling.
"So, what does it all mean? Where are we?", you asked, and he shrugged. "Wherever you want us to be. I just hope that you keep me around", he told you sincerely.
"I will. So, we're not going back to our old ways, right? We're not back at sharing a flat and stuff", you said, and he nodded. "Sure".
"And you're going to spend a month away, all around the world. I don't want you to feel pressured not to cheat", you said, and he nodded again.
"Yeah, and you're back in London, starting a new job. I don't want you to be worried, too", he said.
"So, maybe no exclusivity, this time? At least not now. This is still debatable, in the future", you said, and he agreed.
"Makes sense. But I'll have a hard time desiring anyone but you", Roger said in a low voice, and you laughed to break any mood that might have settled. You needed to get things clear before making out in the train cabin.
"Me too, Rog. But I don't want to create any expectations of loyalty because we know each other too well, and I don't want a stupid fight to break this thing we're building together", you said.
"It's a good idea. So, no titles, too? I can't call you my girlfriend?", he said, and you laughed.
"You can, if you want to", you told him, and he pulled you closer to him.
"Good, cause I want to call you that on the News of the World launch party, that I'm hoping you'll go as my date", he said, pressing a kiss on top of your head, breathing in your fruity smell.
"Of course I'll go. I need to see the boys again", you told him, and he laughed.
"So you're not going for me, then?", he pouted, and you laughed again.
"No, I'm just going so I can meet Deacy's kid", you told him, and it was his turn to laugh.
-
Once you got to London, Roger offered to go to the airport alone - he had to get on his flight, and he was late. He knew you had to go home and get ready for work tomorrow, but you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.
He looked relieved when you got on a cab with him to Heathrow.
"Big day tomorrow, huh", he said, rubbing your arm.
"Yeah, I still can't believe I'm finally going to work at the British Museum. It's so surreal, it feels like a dream. Like I'm living someone else's life", you said, looking out at the window, the early sunday morning reminding you of fresh starts - you were in the middle of one.
"Well, it's your life, and it's your job, cause you deserve it, babe. I never met someone who worked so hard to get where they want", Roger said, smiling, proud.
"I did. You and the boys", you said, and he huffed. "Guess you're right. Me and that pack of idiots, we turned out okay", he joked.
Once you got to the airport, you followed him to his gate.
You were feeling nervous - you had him for a week, and now it's time to say goodbye again.
You're both aware that the rest of the band is already waiting impatiently in the jet, but you can't help it - you hug him, dropping your luggage on the floor, and he does the same, the hug soon turning into a kiss as you rub your hands on each other's body, as if you're trying to remember how every inch of the other feels like, as if you're both about to disappear.
But the airport worker clears her throat, and you break the kiss, looking at each other longingly.
"Don't say goodbye", you beg Roger, putting your hand on his lips as he opens his mouth.
"See you soon", he says between your fingers. You smile at him, grateful he found a way with words so you're not repeating the same old goodbyes.
"See you soon, Roger", you say, hugging him again for a few seconds, just trying to capture every detail - his smell, the feeling of his arms around you, his body against yours.
And once he has to go into the jet, you go to the glass wall, and you can swear you see some familiar faces from the windows of the jet.
But before you can focus, soon Roger's well known face takes over the window you're watching, and he puts a hand on the glass.
You can't help but think about the last time you did that with him, him being on your place as you were inside the plane, moving to another country, your heart weighing down on you, filled with doubts.
But now your heart warmed you up, filled with joy and love, and you could feel Roger's crystal heart on top of your chest. He was right. There would be always a piece of him on you, too.
-
Epilogue: News of the World Launch Party
"Y/N! You're back!" Brian's voice welcomed you to the ballroom.
You squeezed Roger's hand - it was the first time you saw the band in years, and you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous about it.
"Darling, you're really back! We thought Roger was getting high too often and hallucinated a week in Paris with you. But I guess you did come back to him", Freddie said, hugging you by the side as he held a glass of champagne on his other hand.
"I'm back with him only so I can see you all again, of course", you said, winking at Roger as he pretended to be offended.
But then you heard Deacy and Veronica scream your name in unison, and you turned to see them.
"So you're really back!!" Deacy said, but your eyes were on the baby boy on his lap.
"This is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.", you said, trying to get his attention. Roger looked at you, adoringly, as you moved your eyes to Veronica.
"Ronnie!! You're so big!" you said, trying to hug her through her belly. "It's coming out in a few months! It's a boy, Michael. Someone our young Rob can play with", she said, and Roger frowned.
"I could swear it was a girl", he said, and John smiled. "Maybe next time", he said.
"Hey, Bob. Do you want to play with me? C'mon", you said, and he motioned to go to your arms. You picked him up as he started playing with your hair.
"You'd be a good mom, Y/N", Veronica said, and you got tense. "God, Ronnie, don't even joke about this", you said, and Roger chuckled. "It's a sensitive topic at the moment", he explained.
"The moment will take quite some time, you know", you told him, the youngest Deacon pulling your earring before playing with the crystal heart on your neck.
You talked to the boys and Veronica for a while, updating each other, but no one brought up how you and Roger got back together. It just felt natural - no need to question.
You stayed with Roger for the whole night - behind the cameras as he did press, by his side during dinner - where he was back at his old ways, teasing you lightly with his hand under the table. You felt good in his arms, getting back into his life.
He was interested in getting back into your life, too. He came back to London last night, and went straight to dinner with you. You were trying different food, and now was time to try Indian food.
As he ate his Chicken Tikka Masala, dipping the naan in the sauce, you invited him for a party your bosses would be throwing next month to celebrate a new exhibit.
He gave you a bright smile. "I'd love to be your date, my love", he said.
And after the Deacons went home - Robert was asleep on his father's lap - the party got louder, the dance floor more full. You could swear you saw an angular face that could only belong to Bowie pick someone to dance - was this Princess Leia? - but before you could process the whole situation, Roger pulled you to dance.
"Thought you didn't dance, Mr Taylor", you told him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you tried to slow dance to All The Young Dudes, by Mott The Hoople.
"I don't dance very well, indeed. But it's just an excuse to be so close to you in public, and God, I'm dying to call you Ms Taylor", he said, and you chuckled.
"Take it slower, Rog", you told him, and he leaned in to rest his head on the curve of your neck. "And why do you want to be close to me in public? Is it still one of your weird fetishes?", you joked, and you felt him laugh against your skin.
"No, it's just that you've been killing me with this dress of yours, and you've been killing a lot of the guys here, too. Could swear I saw Bowie checking you out", he told you, and you gasped.
"Taylor, don't even joke about this. I'd have a heart attack", you said, and he laughed. "You'd leave me here for Bowie, is that it?", he asked, and you laughed.
"Of course not. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he might acknowledge my existence", you said, and it was his turn to laugh. "The only eyes I really like to feel on me when I look away are yours, Rog", you said, and he gave you a quick kiss.
"Okay, had enough of trying to dance. Let's get some fresh air", he told you, and you followed him to the balcony.
As the cold, fresh air brushed against your exposed skin, you heard the first notes to Tiny Dancer, by Elton John. You walked to the balcony, leaning in and taking in the view of London at night.
Roger soon took you into his arms, hugging you from behind, and you felt safe, his body heart making you warm in the cold evening as he jokingly whispered "Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man" into your ear, and you scoffed. "Slower, Taylor", you told him, and he laughed.
"However you want it, babe", he said, now paying attention to the view, focusing on the feeling on you in his arms again. Finally.
 But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly
 "I could die right now, Y/N. I'm just... happy. I've never felt this type of happiness before. I'm just exactly where I want to be", Roger said in his husky voice, and you nodded lightly in agreement.
Because in Roger's arms, you feel home. You feel what you hoped to feel for years - what got you to move to London in the first place. You feel like you belong.
---
1988 Special
Taglist:
@taylorroger-s @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @its-nessi @anamcg317 @frenchieswiftie @queen-danielle-dani-dan @minihemo @shutup-sorry @theyrealllegends @killerqueenisthebest @ashagracelove @hardy-s @fuckinghurricanesoul @secretsweetscollectionblog @mrswinterhater @11mb0 @tamtam-go92 @derptatosaur @brianandthemays @phantom-fangirl-stuff @the-hysterical-queen @rogerofmylife @notevenlxvely @discodeakyy @x1975sos @16wiishes @jennycidesstuff @partydulce @melros-e @onevisionliz
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enixamyram · 6 years
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Hey, guess what, I’ve found another screen rant I want to react to! I wasn’t planning to do any more but, reading through this article, I just have SO many problems with it... So Let’s do another, agree or disagree with a Screenrant article made by someone with no bias at all. (Sarcasm for the last part by the way.) So let’s see:
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Agreed with this point. People act like, if the characters weren’t on screen then they disappeared or something. Maybe they were just living their own lives?
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... I don’t even understand this article. Apparently this is 20 things people get wrong and this point is that the timeline can make sense, but then OP goes on to say “However, the more characters were introduced and the more worlds the characters ventured into, it became clearer and clearer that time didn't work the same way everywhere... However, in a world of fairytales, expecting anything more than that is simply asking too much. What does it matter, exactly, when some of these events took place as long as we know that they were a long time ago in a universe not at all like our own?”
Like, so that means this isn’t something people get wrong - the timeline DOESN’T make sense - so what the hell is it doing in this article? You can’t claim you’ve solved it just because you shrug and go “yeah but it’s magic so what do you expect?”
I mean the text directly conflicts the title/bullet point. Luckily I can still safely say I disagree, both with the title and the text because the timeline became f*cked, and just making an embarrassed shrugging face doesn’t change that.
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I can’t even say disagree because this is just plain wrong! I don’t quite understand this writer. I can’t tell what they’re deal is, like did they just give a poor title to their article?
Season 1 - The Original Curse Season 2 - Belle and Sneezy lost their memories. Season 3 - Everyone lost a year. Season 5 - Camelot Season 6 - Emma lost her memories Season 7 - Another Curse.
Notice how I left out 4? Well this is where I’m getting confused because this is what OP had to say about Season 4: “While season four dabbled with alternate universes, memories were never wiped or reset in the way they were in every other season.”
... But their memories WERE wiped! They were essentially in a curse because their memories WERE wiped and they WERE given new identities just like the original curse. So yes, memory wipes did in fact happen every single season!
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So I can’t agree or disagree because maybe some people do call Ruby a lesbian, but most everyone I talk to calls her bi... So I’ma just skip this one.
Note: She’s bi people. This is canon. If you don’t agree then tough shit.
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Agreed, there’s plenty of other ways true love can be proven. TLK is probably just the most convenient, lol.
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Kind of agree? I mean I think most people do know and acknowledge this but I guess it can sometimes escape people without realising in passing sentences?
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This is true. It was a lame and terrible reveal that made no sense but it was revealed.
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... Like, I’m getting confused again. Because this title either doesn’t fit or the writer lives under a rock because no one get’s this wrong! Everyone - rightfully - calls out Zelena for what she did. Even Zelena fans admit what she did was messed up!
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... I do agree, I don’t think she made up for all the awful things she did and she definitely became “one of the team” way too quickly for my liking. (I’m hesitant because I suddenly have an idea what side of the fandom wrote this article and I can pretty much predict where it’s going.)
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AND THERE IT IS!
DISAGREE.  DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE.
“Nothing says good guy like being an older man who takes advantage of a young girl, impregnates her, and lets her go to jail for crimes you yourself committed.” First off, we don’t know his age. Second, he didn’t ‘impregnant’ her. She got pregnant. It takes two to tango though I doubt the writer knows this. And third, Emma went to jail for HER crimes. Sorry, dear writer, but let me just fill you in. Aiding and abetting a fellow criminal IS A CRIME! Emma did wrong and she was punished for it. I don’t necessarily agree with what Neal did but he is not responsible for where Emma ended up.
“Even further, nothing says good guy like someone who mocks the woman he allegedly loves for the years of trauma, suffering, and scars she endured as a result of your callous, selfish behavior.” ... WHEN?!
“... Neal Cassidy became more and more like the selfish, frequently malicious parents who raised him.” ... Again, WHEN?! Like seriously, selfish maybe but malicious?!
“In no world would he have been the right man for Emma or a good father to Henry because he could never accept accountability for any of his many wrongdoings.” Except, you know, Neal knew Henry all of five minutes and was already dedicated to being a great dad to him and literally was WAY better at being a father to Henry than Hook ever was to the kid. And I added the Hook part because my God, the writer of this article couldn’t be more obvious a CS shipper if they had every sentence end with swans and pirate flags.
It’s amazing how, even dead, they’re still threatened by Neal’s character.
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Maybe this was true in S6, but by S7 they had clearly retconned it, making the Wish Realm a very real place. Otherwise there’s a ton of plot holes and you’ve got to be a real idiot to say you’d rather accept plot holes than that the Wish Realm might actually be real.
(Also, just saying, another terrible title because what happened to Emma and Regina when they were in the Wish Realm very much DID happen. So again, really poor titles for this article that clearly doesn’t know what it’s point is.)
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... She VIOLATED everyone’s minds by erasing their memories and TRIED TO MURDER ZELENA!
She may have had good intentions but that doesn’t change the fact that she was a villain for a season! Dude, have you never heard the phrase “the road to hell was paved with good intentions”?! I’ll defend Emma turning Hook into a Dark One for sure, but trying to completely ignore the awful things she did?! Jesus Christ!
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Again... What? OP... Everyone already KNOWS this. This article is meant to be things people gets wrong but, honestly, I think OP’s the only idiot who gets things wrong at this point. So I’m once again torn because I agree with the statement but I don’t agree that this is something people get wrong.
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*Sigh* OP’s giving me a migraine. Not because their statement is incorrect, but because all their reasoning is!
“Regina, as we know, went back and forth to points outside of Maine many times during the preceding 28 years.” It was actually explained, by Regina herself to Hook in Season 2, that because she (and he) had no cursed memories, crossing the town line would not affect them.
“Greg and Tamara are also able to cross the town lines, with Greg even remembering the tiny town for years and years after a traumatic encounter within it during his childhood.” Again. The town line affects people who ARE CURSED! This is made very clear! Henry can also cross the town line when he went to get Emma.
The title, once again, is misleading. People are able to leave - so long as they don’t CROSS THE TOWN LINE. That’s the part CURSED people are not able to do.
I’ve given up Agreeing and Disagreeing at this point. OP’s points are making my brain hurt so let’s just move on.
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You’re right OP. It did serve a purpose. It’s purpose was to be a cash grab!
Apparently OP’s excuse is that Anna and Elsa helped Emma come into her own as a magic user? Like yeah, I’m calling bullshit. Emma had no problem using her magic until they brought Frozen in, then they made a whole storyline of Emma having problems just to justify having Elsa struggle and then help her with it.
And after they left they were barely even mentioned. So, again. NO PURPOSE. (Apart from a cash grab.)
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Okay, so actually, I do agree. Regina is still Henry’s mum but the fact is, his adoption can’t be legal because Regina would need to have lied on her application and all the usual checks usually done for people wanting to adopt couldn’t possibly have happened.
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I was going to agree on technicality but you know what? No.
DISAGREE!
Just because the couples aren’t perfect doesn’t make them toxic. (Using OP’s examples:) “Robin's relationship with Regina results in his being repeatedly assaulted and fathering a child as a result of that assault.” Wow, dude, wait to blame the girlfriend for some of the bad stuff that happened in Robin’s life. I sure feel sorry for whoever you end up with if this is how you see it. “Hook and Emma frequently lie to one another as well,” Lying does not equal a toxic relationship! Certain lies, maybe, but general lying is just what people do when they’re embarrassed or ashamed or upset. What counts is what you’re lying about and also whether or not you come clean about it.
The only one I’ll agree with is RumBelle but even then OP completely misses the reason WHY they’re a toxic relationship. Instead they generalise it into very un-toxic details.
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... Again... Like... I agree with the statement but NO ONE GETS THIS WRONG!
OP is clearly just using this article as an excuse to bash Regina. And I’m not a Regina fan, but no, dude, if you’re gonna do this then make a “20 of the worst things Regina ever did” list. Not a “20 things people get wrong” and then list a bunch of things that one in ten people gets wrong!
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And now OP’s repeating. Because I’m pretty sure this was covered in the 4th one? Like, agree. I guess. But it feels like OP was running out of things and figured Regina bashing again would be too obvious or something.
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Okay. Now this is something a lot of people won’t agree with but... I do.
I agree the show was intended to be Emma’s story and that it then got popular and other characters got popular and it branched out into something more.
... However OP is still a colossus idiot because they ended on this sentence:
“It's what made the concept of a seventh season without almost any of the Charmings such a laughable concept - and such a colossal failure, as well.” And while Season 7 may not be the masterpiece I pretend it is to piss of anti’s, it is also far from the worst. OP just hates it because their fav wasn’t centre stage and they’re bitter as hell.
Wow this was probably the stupidest article yet. OP either clearly doesn’t know what they were meant to be doing (a list of things people often forget about the show) or they just wanted to make a list where they bitched a few points and couldn’t be bothered to think of a catchy title or reason why. Either way, OP’s an idiot and most of these points are ridiculously dumb.
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