#like why do we never get to be the fucking like fantasy heroes or space explorers or whatever

[toffeelights]

falling into sonic again..

no i grew up watching those epic sprite animations and sonic final fantasies, sonic paradox even. The games I played were heroes and a few more like unleashed and mega collection and i adored black knights transformation sequence i would play it in the car repeatedly ( i never owned a wii). I watched all the sonic gameplay I could. My favourite characters being sonic and shadow. I, however grew up and believed sonic was not "famous" and was niche, jealous of the only sonic merch being the boys underwear in the superstore :(,

i didnt like boom or even lost world. it wasn't "sonic" to me, so i fell out, come forces and im burned, never touching this franchise again in my mid teens. I looked at how it was doing, would watch dubs and enjoy animations but eh that was it for me.

then.. comes 2023 and the thing that drags me back into this franchise, the thing that fucking pulls me in and keeps me buried... is those same two fucking hedgehogs but this time... their fucking ship. I suppose i can blame the art that took me here in the first place but holy shit. if you told me when i was 5 years old that i would come to adore sonadow and that would be the sole reason for my staying to the sonic franchise and all i would draw would be fucking sonadow, i would think you were fucking stupid and then go on word and make sonic comics of him running and pissing on eggman. no its the fucking fact, that now its come to a point where the dynamic of sonic and shadow genuinely have shifted my entire brain chemistry, they are everything, romantic subtext or not, they have literally shaped my interest for the past half year.

the fucking SYMBOLISM sega hints around them??!! them being stars, fated, destined to meet, mirror images, understanding eachother the most yet causing the most frustration. Sonic, is the one character that can get so, so personal to shadow, challenge him in a way and intrigue him in the most bizzarest of ways he never understands yet finds equal annoyance as much as admiration, sonic is a shift to his core. Shadow also does care quite a bit, just as much as he gets irritated at his presence, i find it funny how in sonic 06, the two characters saving sonic are amy and Fucking SHADOW the hedgehog. (albeit you dont see this alot erm due to segas insistence of making characters.. boring? but anyways)

their TRUST.. in eachother, the sonic x shadow generations descriptions do it so well (esp in jp).

in sa2 when they.. worked together for the first time in space and.. he called him the ultimate life form.. and sonic and shadow.. just in that moment.. were together as one. and oh man..

I could talk about prime but uh my favourite interactions in there are mostly when one of the other was uncouncious or in a state of unawareness (youd be suprised how much this happened). like sonic holding shadow and saving him, he seems to get really, REALLY emotional when it comes to shadow than anybody else.. for some reason... and shadow' reaction when sonic almost died. OWee that was done so well. the way.. he held him.. tight.. when sonic was dying.. oh my gosh. bride style. oahy.. im not too fond on talking about prime since in terms of the "sonic and shadow" dynamic it sort of slaps you in the face but hey I appreciate some sonadow anytime, if that was their actual only canon dyamic i dont think I'd care for it as much but its more of an add on to one of the most insane PASSIONATE.. crazy mutually charged dynamics ive seen in my life... like why are they like that.. can they STOP.. those two.. my brain will explode if we actually like actually like ACTUALLY see them togteher and if its anything like "them" with their subtetly and bizzare unique tensions, i think i will lose my sanity and just not function anymore. good fucking bye if i see a mention towards emerl or the ending of sa2 i will lose my absolute shit and you random person seeing this will see me go through it. my sketchbook would probably be overwhelmed by the amount of incoherent sonadow mess dear lord why..

ignore this i have an exam tomorrow and ended up going on a crazy rant about tbese two hedgehogs that have carried me through senior year, shout out to sonadow.. gotta be the only thing dragging me towards a degree.

[iamthecomet]

Mushy May Day 15

Prompt: Standing Up For Them Rating: M for Murder Ghouls Pairing: Cumulus/Dewdrop Featuring: Siblings being straight up assholes. Cumulus knitting. Ghouls who stand up for themselves, and each other. Implied Murder. Graphic violence in the form of fantasy. No actual blood, but lots of thinking about blood. Word Count: 1100 Read it under the cut or on AO3.

Siblings are a liability. Dew would honestly prefer that they weren’t here at all. If they didn’t make for a decent food source to pick from—he’d actively campaign against them. Show up in Sister’s office, put his feet up on the desk, bat his eyes for her the way he knows she likes and say: what do we need them for anyway?

But. They tend to prove useful in the end. Eviscerated and splattered across the flagstones in the courtyard, or torn to pieces under the surface of the lake. They’re an easy food source. No real hunting. No effort. Just a pretty smile, and a waggle of his fingers and they follow him, every time. Thinking they’re lucky. That they’ve caught his eye. That he’s going to shove their face into the dirt and fuck them into next week and they will be put on a pedestal by their friends. Never thinking of jealousy. Never thinking of how if he really did fuck them and let them go, they’d go back to animosity. To cold shoulders and upturned noses, and endless paths of pain and rejection.

Swiss does that sometimes. Plays with his food. Lets them think he really does want them. Gets to get off and get fed. But it’s a long game. And Dew doesn’t have the patience for it. He just wants to maim, and kill, and feel thick sticky blood start to dry between the spaces of his fingers. He doesn’t care about fucking them. It’s never even any good, not worth it. And really, they’re awful. Humans are awful. Gross and mean and filled with a seemingly endless need to make others suffer. To drag others down in order to put themselves higher.

Why would he want to fuck them when they do shit like this.

Cumulus is sitting at the end of the hallway. Nestled into one of the padded benches under a southern window. Mid-spring sun slanting over her body, as she knits. Ball of yarn nestled between her feet. Fingers flying over her needles. Her cheeks are flushed red.

Dew hears the peal of cruel laughter before he actually registers what’s happening. There are two brothers of sin leaning on either side of the hallway. Big, broad. White. The kind of men who think they’ve been gifted the world at birth—and no one has ever bothered to tell them otherwise. They don’t belong here. Even the worst siblings are gentler than men like this. They have values, otherwise they wouldn’t have devoted their lives to a Satanic church. But these guys? Dew can’t figure them out. He’s seen them around before. Leaning against other walls. Eyes crawling up Sunshine and Cirrus’ bodies like something they want to own.

Like Cirrus wouldn’t rip their eyes out and eat them in front of them just for the suggestion.

They’re predatory. Which is laughable considering if Cumulus wanted to she could have them both dead in a handful of seconds. Dew watches from around the corner and sees her shrink further into herself as they talk about her like she isn’t there.

Like she’s a cut of meat to be appraised before consumption.

Dew doesn’t even want to bother with them, doesn’t want to sink his fangs into them and takes the bitter tang of their entitlement.

“Can you fuck off?” Cumulus asks, a bite in her voice she only reserves for when she really means it. “I’m busy.”

One of the guys snorts. “She thinks she’s too good for us.”

“Like I’d want to fuck her anyway,” the other one spits.

“Like she’d fucking let you.” Dew bites out as he steps around the corner. Cumulus can fight this battle all on her own, he knows it. He’s not in the business of being a hero. But he can feel disgust crawling through his veins. And Cumulus is pack. He loves her in a way that humanity has no hope of understanding.

“You can go now,” he adds, waving them off with a dismissive hand.

The guys look over at Dew. They drag their eyes up and down his frame, and one of them laughs.

“You gonna make us, pipsqueak?”

Dew shrugs. He sits down on the window seat next to Cumulus. Picks up her ball of yarn and cradles it in his lap as he leans against her knees.

“No,” Dew scoffs. “Just can’t figure out why you’re standing here staring at us.”

He pulls his phone from his pocket and feigns interest in it. Cumulus reaches up and scratches her fingers through Dew’s hair before she goes back to her knitting. He leans against her a little more. He looks back up after a minute or two, finds the Brothers still standing there. Arms crossed. He can practically see the gears turning in their brains. Trying to think of just the right thing to say to bring Cumulus and Dew down a few pegs, while also enticing Cumulus to sit on their faces, or dicks, or whatever extremity they think will make her wettest.

Dew presses a soft kiss to her bare knee. Then flicks his eyes up to the Brothers.

“You’re still here? I didn’t you were so into knitting.”

“I told you to fuck off,” Cumulus says, voice bored now.

The men huff, inconvenienced by their own bullshit. And stride off, making a shitty muffled comment that Dew can’t quite hear. The laughter that follows—all bravado—echoes down the hallway.

“I’ll kill them for you. What do you want? A rib? Finger bones? Teeth?”

Cumulus laughs softly, eyes cast down to her knitting, the ball of yarn rolling in Dew’s palms.

“I can do that myself you know.”

“Trust me,” Dew whispers, turning his head to press his lips to the inside of her knee again, lips working against it as he speaks. “I know you can. I’m just saying if you don’t want to get your hands dirty, I’ll do it. I want to. Let me?”

Cumulus sighs. She puts her knitting aside and scratches her fingers against Dew’s scalp again, shifting to run her fingers through his hair, working out small knots as he leans against her legs. They fall into silence. Dew gives up on his fantasy of ripping those boys into tiny pieces, of warm bitter blood spraying over his face as he tears out their throats.

Cumulus pulls her hands away from Dew’s hair, he hears the sound of the knitting needles clacking together again, rhythmic. The sound and the sun pooling on his skin is lulling him toward sleep.

She sighs, content. “Bring me their teeth.”

[gregoftom]

wait so is greg telling tom that he did something with bridget actually like...the first instance of anything disgusting in action. before that it was all just...saying what they could do.

and it's always only been about having this thing with tom (like greg actually 'doing' something and his excitement being to go to tom about it. it's their shared thing)

and also that makes tom's "watching your little white bottom do its disgusting business" all the more telling? because if this has all only ever been hypothetical, fantasy...that means part of tom's fantasy has been imagining greg in action, greg's body (greg's ass, the motion of his hips). like??? tom was the one who first ironically said "disgusting brothers" (in the time gap, off-screen), right? tom's thinking about greg doing "disgusting" things (i.e. ...just having sex, being sexual, being sexy).

also, again, why, tom, does it matter to you if greg actually got off in this instance with bridget. is it because they'd not actually done any of this hypothetical disgusting stuff with anyone before. and tom's never really wanted to do any of this stuff with random women. it's (like greg) for tom always just been about the homoeroticism of being with greg. so now when greg's "actually" done something it's like, wtf. (I said we should fuck women, but I didn't mean we should fuck women.)

like. talking about fucking all this pussy was just sexy talk for them. it was never supposed to be actioned upon. it was just a way to talk hornily to each other with a pretence. (because tom has walls enough that he can't actually fuck greg. or maybe even let himself consciously think about that.) (but greg didn't fucking know that. he thinks all of this is about fucking women, and that's how he keeps this fun connection with tom. he thinks that's the fun of it for tom. he's doing this all for tom. so, if tom doesn't want to, wtf man, this is supposed to be our thing, our bonding thing, isn't it?)

this "launch of disgusting brothers LLC" is just doing...so much.

and greg's giddy touchiness in 4x1 is literally just...I have this sex thing with tom that's so fun to talk about and I'm all up in tom's space hanging off of him while talking about how we'll be getting off...and they haven't even done anything with any women, it's not the actual doing anything with women that has greg liking this (because he hasn't and he's still on cloud 9!), it's literally just the talking with tom about it all that's so fun.

and now that's the same for tom? and tom doesn't want the reputation of fucking loads of women. and what he said about him and greg being disgusting is supposed to be hush. and it's basically just like when he was with greg at his bachelor party finding it so hot that he swallowed his own cum, and then being embarrassed that that got told to other people. like, for tom, his and greg's disgusting talk, this sexy-talk bonding they were doing over drinks, was alllll homoerotic for him, supposed to just be contained between him and greg...so it being talked about publicly is like, shhh shush. don't talk about that. and so especially with shiv bringing it up to him and his tired defence of just "we sometimes grab a drink"...like, he really can't get into all that.

"launch of disgusting brothers"

"watching your little white bottom do its disgusting business like a nodding donkey"

...truly illuminating. I feel like I've got so much from tom now, and greg, from just these two lines.

plus of course "tom? I did this for you, man. you specifically said we should 'take a trip to titty town.'" like?! tom said that but he didn't actually mean that. (he was just saying things! sexy, ironic things! he was just being horny while talking to greg.) but greg was like, yeah, let's do it! because he thought tom was wanting it, and it was both of them.

goddddddddd.

omfg dude... whoever you are you're my HERO!!! thank you for my life like i can't even fucking. add onto this because holy shit your BRAIN. mine is all over the floor where my head has burst open and i am lying next to it. all your chakras and third eye is opened my buddy

[mdhwrites]

Is The Owl House Timeless?

So this morning I made a blog about how the main thing required for something to be timeless is for it to be at least decently enough written to connect with an audience and that it had to have an emotion that the audience could connect with. A universal feeling that could cross race, gender, religion or even, yes, time. I used It’s a Wonderful Life as my example then.

I bet a lot of you who read it though were waiting for me to talk about TOH though because I know a LOT of people in the fandom at one point expected TOH to not only be timeless but a classic. The new Avatar the Last Airbender or the new Harry Potter (especially in what people wanted for its popularity with the latter). Both of those works are indeed timeless, as much as I am loath to compliment Harry Potter.

Is The Owl House? Individually, I think one could argue specific episodes and maybe the first season but the real reason I wanted to do this follow up blog is that satire and comedy almost always ages the worst. As worldviews change, what was mocked might not seem like it was in such good taste. How many 80s/90s college comedies like Animal House now feel kind of tacky when viewed from a modern lens? Or at least kind of misogynistic with their treatment of women?

I don’t think there are many element in TOH that are going to be as yikes as stuff like that someday but I think there’s already been a turn against it. It claimed to be progressive but in the end gave few real answers to that which it wanted to claim it was better than and even fell into many of the same holes as other works like it fell into. Its comedy is often stale and rooted in needing to be in its exact same mindset in order to be able to enjoy it.

Frankly, the style of satire, comedy and social commentary kind of makes me think of the spoof movie craze in the mid 2000s. You know, stuff like the constant sequels to Scary Movie, or Action Movie, etc. like that. TOH NEVER gets as bad as those, don’t get me wrong, but they’re both taking the same approach to their writing of these elements.

Rather than tackling it with a human emotion, something anyone can latch onto, they’re looking for buzzwords, specific gripes and incredibly specific tropes/references. Then they nail it to a board so they can hammer away until it’s damn near unrecognizable and whatever point was there is lost because they’re using a blunt object when a scalpel is required.

A LOT of people way better at this than me have talked about how a lot of things that want to be ‘satirical’ or ‘subversive’ are nowhere near as good as Mel Brooks but rather than talk about why his subversion is allowed while so many people fuck it up, I just want to talk about why they’re so often still timeless.

Blazing Saddles is the easy one. Human stupidity, greed and hate is always going to exist so rooting your comedy in both a genre and time period known for being exceptionally stupid, greedy and hateful, all while it normally tries to pretend it’s not, is just brilliant. Frankly, the main change from some Westerns to Blazing Saddles is that it’s willing to recognize bigotry and state it as bigotry, rather than try to justify it as a noble crusade or the like.

How about Space Balls though? One line tells you that they know what makes Star Wars both good and also exceptionally silly: “Evil will always win... Because good is dumb.” You want to criticize the fantasy genre as a whole? THAT is how you do it because we’ve all gotten fed up by meat headed heroes who walk into an obvious trap instead of thinking for literally five seconds but we also still like seeing those same meat heads win! It also plays into the ego in most fantasy villains as well as their hubris, as such working as just a general villain line but with the bluntness and delivery needed for it to be a joke instead.

TOH never really has this. Honestly, the best moment it comes to it is probably when the crackpot human curator seems so close to the truth before going off the deep end into conspiracy theories. I’ve literally had a friend do that to me once where I thought they were sane and rational until one night they told me, and I quote “You could have a catgirl girlfriend, it’s just that no one’s willing to admit that they’re real.” It’s a genuinely good subversion away from there being a mastermind villain and instead he’s just some loon who managed to be about 20% right in this case and that’s enough to make them dangerous. And mocking that level of insanity, of someone who has just lost themselves entirely in a rabbit hole that everyone else knows is unhealthy, is a common thread for many, especially in the modern age. It’s not like people in Ancient Greece never had to deal with some loon who thought the end of days was coming though.

Most of the time though? Most of the time it’s stuff like the Golden Snitch reference where it’s not even referencing a common trope in fantasy writing but specifically calling out a very singular thing. Where if you don’t know Harry Potter, or even worse LIKE QUIDDITCH, then you have nothing to connect to there. Maybe Luz’s outrage over losing due to a technicality but it’s not even a technicality. It’s just being outplayed and so the closest to a more universal feeling is betrayal but the joke spends so much time on rage at the literal trope, instead of even what Boscha did, that the thread at bare minimum gets lost.

And that’s much of TOH’s elements like these. They have a theoretical point to them but along the way, they lose their point or focus, or are so focused that they miss the universal element that’s right there. Take The First Day. Luz is someone who has struggled in school because of being bullied and an oddball. This was a great chance to really connect with every child who feels left behind by the school system because they won’t cater to them.

Except... It doesn’t work here. Her complaint isn’t that she can’t learn, that how things are being taught don’t work for her either because she learns differently or her brain processes things differently, etc. like that. Instead, it’s that she COULD learn whatever single subject she is stuck on but that’s not what she WANTS to learn.

Even the detention kids are the same way. Viney in S2 is established as one of the best healers in the school despite her multi-classing but it’s got nothing to do with her multi-classing. As such, strict healing magic is something she learns just fine. It’s just that she’s not being allowed to be creative with it.

And THAT is an interesting topic to discuss, schools stifling creativity or needing to give opportunities for it, but the narrative context stops that. They never say it because it would get in the way of their point but the school should say they allow single tracks because it’s literally illegal for them to do otherwise. That can allow a theme of how industry and government too often dictate the priorities of our schooling and how that’s a bad thing. That would even fit within the themes of TOH where the individual is crushed by the monopoly. By the ‘normal’.

 But they don’t do that because they have a different goal in mind. And this is why being well written is part of my criteria for being timeless. Again, not perfect, but an invested audience in TOH should also have that nagging question of why the coven system isn’t getting brought up in this episode. The EC is brought up as the basilisk disguises themselves as an inspector, but never that the Emperor would potentially close the school entirely if they were to allow mixed classes because that goes against both the coven system and the Titan.

It instead just never comes up so while it has a theoretical point it’s trying to make, the resonance is lost as a reasonable question, a genuine plot hole, grows wider and wider with every passing minute until the moment an audience should cheer for creativity winning out, for the need for flexible thinkers to be shown, is still met with some amount of confusion as people wonder why the show still hasn’t said ANYTHING about the coven system properly in this entire episode, even as now Hexide does frankly the biggest act of rebellion in perhaps the entire show.

And that is when TOH is GOOD. The later TOH goes on, the more and more a disconnect can be felt between the theme or resonance the writers are going for and what they’ve actually setup until S3 is pulling things out of its ass left and right because it can’t even do an identity arc with a clone, a sci fi staple to put it mildly, right because it literally can’t focus on anything long enough to make it function. Or its actions are too contradictory to keep you invested, like in Reaching Out where Luz is willing to at least tell 75% of her problem to Eda and King but then acts like she literally cannot, lest she die instantly on the spot, tell Amity or even think about it for all of five seconds.

As I concluded my last blog: Resonance should be something that all writers as a base element of writing should strive for. Bare minimum, it should resonate with the writer and that will help it resonate with others. How well you can make your writing be able to resonate beyond yourself though is the real test for a good story and a good writer.

And while obviously the fandom for TOH proves it resonated with many, myself even at one point, I wonder how many it still resonates with today? And especially as time wears on and tests the claim of it truly being transcendent of the moment it was created, or if it will just look like a relic to be left behind.

[jacquelinemerritt]

Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged Episode 8 Review

Originally posted December 3rd, 2015

This is the funniest episode of any show that Team Four Star has ever produced.

And now, I have to defend that significant claim, which is something I’m not entirely certain I can do. The best evidence I can provide here is that the episode itself defends this claim far better than I can, and in my opinion, it’s pretty clear that there’s only one abridged series out there that could compete with just how fucking hilarious episode 8 of Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged is (it’s Sword Art Online Abridged, which you should unquestionably check out if you haven’t seen it yet).

So I’m not going to try to defend my claim. I’m instead simply going to talk about why everything in this episode works, and hope that that is enough evidence on its own.

The first thing you’ll notice about this episode is that we only spend half of it with the main cast. We’re left with Cloud, Tifa, and Barret as commentators once they’ve infiltrated Shinra Headquarters, but the entire second half of this episode is a board meeting with only the minor interjection of our heroes.

That’s a pretty bold decision, and it works extraordinarily, with the time away from our main cast serving as a refreshing break in which Takahata101 and Antfish let loose with the clever comedy. It’s a testament to their writing ability that they’re able to make a scene discussing budgetary concerns this hilarious, and it’s even more to their credit that departing from the main cast for so long feels more like a treat than a loss.1

The rest of the episode is spent on one of Team Four Star’s funniest jokes to date and an exposition dump. The cast’s ascension up the stairwell is classic comedy: Takahata101 causes major pain to his characters for a perceived award only to snatch it away at the last minute. The exposition dump then, is framed as the ravings of a pot-obsessed hippie, who just decided to grab Aerith off of the streets after the death of her (potentially pot-obsessed) mother.

Sandra Espinoza sells this scene perfectly, delivering the history of her adopted daughter with the perfect combination of aloofness and motherly care. Finally, to top this episode off, we even get a moment between Barret and Marlene that is the perfect blend of touching and hilarious, as Barret instructs her to be sure to take a 25% cut off of anything that Elmyra (Aerith’s adopted mother) has her sell.

Rating: 5/5

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Stray Observations

1You could view it as a failure on their part that we don’t miss focusing on the heroes, but the break from the dark complexity of Barret and Tifa and their negative influence on Cloud was very much needed.

Elmyra: “They offered her a free helicopter ride, and well, how can anyone say no to that?” Barret: “Believe it or not, very easily.”

Elmyra: “You must be the father of Marlene.” Barrett: “WHY THANK YOU, for assuming that automatically.” Elmyra: “I can sense these things. Also, she has a gun, and your hand is a gun.” Barrett: “Fair assessment.”

Elmyra: “Aerith is the last of the Setra, an ancient race that will lead us to the Promised Land.” You never realize how crazy this is until you hear it said by a drug-addled hippie.

Elmyra as Aerith’s Mom: “I’m… dying… TO TRY THAT SWEET KUSH!”

*60 flights of stairs later* Cloud: “Guys, the door’s locked…” *-60 flights of stairs later*

Cloud: “I can’t believe we just got away with that.” Tifa: “Seriously, they thought you were with ‘urban development!’” Barrett: “Yeah! I mean I have no idea why they would… think I was in urban… develop… OH THAT RACIST CUNT!”

Tifa: “You can’t tell my murder-boner what to do Cloud!” Barrett: “We are erect with rage!”

Palmer: “First you take both your hands and you make a telescope outta them. And then what you see in the night sky there, that’s one space. And then, you take one billion gil, which is how must one space costs, by the way, and then, you toss it into a fire! And the smoke delivers the payment to space! And that’s how you buy space!” Shinra: “Reeve, I would like the space program budget to go through you from now on.” Palmer: “AAAAAHHHH BUT I WANNA GO TO SPACE!!! I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA!!!!!” Shinra: “Fine, cousin Palmer, you will go to space eventually.” Barret: “These are the people who have been beating us.”

Shinra: “By the way Hojo, are you sure that this Setra won’t escape like the last one?” Hojo: “Not to worry, the 60th floor’s back door has been sealed for years.” Barret: “MOTHERF***ER!!!!!!”

[alpineshepherdbadboy]

for the character ask meme, Ignacio Varga ofc!

my little dude!

Favorite thing about them: i love the his relationship with power and control. the whole reason he shot himself was because the last few seasons have revolved around him becoming increasingly powerless, but he’s never actually powerless. he just has power he’s unwilling to wield. he got himself into a lower-middle management cartel position on his own. he wasn’t offered anything— when he wanted something, he’d go behind the back of his erratically violent boss to get it. that’s where season one nacho’s power came from. and when that little fiefdom of power is threatened, he gets tuco locked up. he takes on more power in tuco’s absence without too much protest until he realizes his newfound power has a condition: his father. he then tries to shed his power, but that paradoxically only brings him more power. the more powerful he is, the less powerful he feels. he’s a prisoner to his own upward mobility. lastly: i also like how much of a bitch he is.

Least thing about them: as beautiful i think nacho’s completed story is, i was a little disappointed with how the show (or perhaps more specifically michael mando— sorry mr. mando i think you’re an incredible actor) ended up painting him as him as a hero. this is why i’ve taken to calling him a folk hero rather than a hero— he belongs in the echelon of greedy, deceitful, and violent men who managed to harvest something truly beautiful out of their lives. in his final episodes, i wish we could have been reminded of the ambitious and self-interested man we met in season one. the incredible death he died was not in spite of the man he was. because that man is the one who carried him to that lovely death.

Three things i have in common with them: we’re both 5’ 5” (or at least i like to imagine nacho is), we both have an appreciation for gold jewelry, and we both are perhaps a bit too cautious of people.

Three things i don’t have in common with them: i would have finished that glass of $1400 cognac, i will never be as butch as him no matter how hard i try, and i have better taste in art. okay? can we talk about how fucking ugly nacho’s interior design is? it’s not that i don’t like minimalism— i love minimalism, but i love real minimalism. nacho’s house is bullshit. those two fucking pieces that are made up of extruded triangles or whatever? i hate those! they do nothing for the space!!! minimalism can only exist when nothing can be added or taken away, and to evaluate that tenant the minimalist object, wether that be a home or sculpture or painting, must be evaluated within the environment it inhabits. nacho’s home is a hastily curated collection of disparate parts that make a sickly whole. the car painting/print could be nice if the installation weren’t garbage. hire some fucking art handlers dude. no regard for space! that living room makes me wish nacho shot himself sooner! the only nice place in his house is the dining area where he spoke with his dad (was this also where they had the poker game? 👀)

Favorite line: either “i’d rather get some shut eye” (that line is just so heartbreaking to me) or his entire “here’s how i got s msn’s skull stuck in me” speech from s2.

brotp: for realsies? nacho and domingo. for funsies? nacho and jo. for fantasies? nacho and kim. (i’ll say this again: they are on the same journey, just headed in opposite directions).

notp: no one really? i mean, i’d be down for anything really. nacho/lyle from los pollos? arguing about whether mr. fring is a nice man? sure! nacho/howard? sounds like a hoot! nacho/chuck’s lesbian doctor, the good dr. clea duvall? all nacho has to do is throw on a cheerleading uniform and you’ve got mu favorite feel good movie!

otp: wouldn’t it be funny if i didn’t say lacho?

Random Headcanon: he never learned to cook because after his mom died, his dad tried to keep him in a sort of suspended childhood. manuel took up all the cooking his wife used to do and wouldn’t dare let nacho help bc he didn’t ever want nacho to feel like he had to take care of him.

Unpopular Opinion: idk if this is actually unpopular, but his relationship with amber and jo is disgusting. i love nacho, i love the relationship as a story element, i think it reveals a lot of very nuanced things about him as a character, and i even think it’s pretty hot. but he knows exactly what role he plays in there lives and arguably never shows a hint of remorse about that. he exploits their addiction and other dependencies because he’s lonely or because he’s maintaining an image or because it’s more convenient than any real human relationship or all of the above. they’re certainly using him, but look at scenes like when he poured out a puzzle for jo— the woman who’s drug habit he indulged to the point where he had to treat her like a child for interrupting his soccer game. (talk about a strange relationship with power). it’s never fully addressed in story how unconscionable that really is, but i don’t necessarily thinks it had to be. i got it. i just wished it felt like more audience members recognize the malleability of nacho’s morals.

Song i associate with them: field commander cohen by leonard cohen.

Favorite picture:

[catgirlelric]

hey if anyone knows any good sci-fi/fantasy stuff with specifically transfem major or main characters can you send it my way i am feeling spectacularly bummed about never seeing myself in the kinds of stories that i like. massive bonus points if its wlw

[qqueenofhades]

20+ Books That You (Might Actually Want) To Read During Pride Month!

Right, so. I got annoyed after seeing the list referenced in this post last night, told myself that my books are all packed up so I couldn’t do anything about it, and lasted all of a whopping 10 minutes before picking up my phone and attempting to make my own list instead. Behold, my from-memory attempt to present 20 books with strong LGBTQ plots, characters, and/or authors, that DON’T just rely on Suffering and Identity Politics and are... you know... fun.

Listed in alphabetical order by title. Links take you to Bookshop.org, where you can buy them from your local independent bookstore at a discount and NOT from the evil empire.

1. A Master of Djinn – P. Djeli Clark * author of color * steampunk Cairo in 1912 * djinn! magic! murder mystery! * butch Arab lesbian main character * devout hijabi Muslim badass assistant * anticolonial alternate history

2. An Accident of Stars – Foz Meadows (Sequel: A Tyranny of Queens) * trans author * bi, pan, trans, aro representation * racially diverse characters * all female POV characters * high-fantasy world adventures

3. Boyfriend Material – Alexis Hall * queer author * look I love this book SO MUCH and have absolutely screamed about it before but also I LOVE IT SO MUCH * contemporary M/M fake dating in modern London, complete with full cast of disaster found-family queer friends * it is. fucking. HILARIOUS. I almost died the first time reading it * there is a sequel called HUSBAND MATERIAL scheduled to be released in 2022; I am a normal amount of excited for this book

4. Gideon the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir (Sequel: Harrow the Ninth) * the book cover says “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted palace in space!” * that is exactly what you get * slow-burn enemies-to-lovers F/F main romance * I cannot describe this book, it is dark, genre-bendy, science fiction-y, Hunger-Games-with-lesbian-necromancers-in space? Kinda? I have literally never read anything like it * also fucking HILARIOUS

5. One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston * queer author (who wrote Red White and Royal Blue) * bisexual fat girl from the South/lesbian-daughter-of-Chinese immigrants from the 1970s-riot-grrl main romance * time traveling mystery involving the Q train in Brooklyn (mentions Brighton Beach ahem) * magical realism * many more found-family chaotic queers including a trans Latino psychic and a Black accountant by day/drag queen by night and the mean little gay disaster who has a hopeless crush on them

6. Parasol Protectorate (series) – Gail Carriger * this is one of my favorite series, and there are five books: Soulless, Changeless, Blameless, Heartless, and Timeless * steampunk vampires/werewolves late Victorian London, like Jane Austen crossed with P.G. Wodehouse (they are all fucking hilarious) * pretty much everyone is queer; we got your flamboyantly camp gay vampires (Lord Akeldama ftw!) We got your gay werewolves! We got your lesbian French inventors! We got your big disaster idiot werewolf main male love interest! We got your crazy adventures! You name it we got it! * two spin-off novellas: Romancing the Werewolf (M/M) and Romancing the Inventor (F/F) * she has a ton more books in this same universe and writes sexy queer supernatural romance as G.L. Carriger

7. Plain Bad Heroines – Emily M. Danforth * queer author * historical horror-comedy set between a haunted girls’ school in early-1900s New England and in the modern day * all sapphic female main characters * plays with style/form/voice, a story within a story within a story

8. Red White and Royal Blue – Casey McQuiston * you’ve probably heard of it but here I am reccing it again * the biracial son of the first female POTUS falls in love with the Prince of England; shenanigans absolutely ensue * yes, the British monarchy still absolutely sucks a big fat dick * hilarious, heartfelt, reads like fanfic, just go get it, it will change your life

9. Rosaline Palmer Takes The Cake – Alexis Hall * same author as Boyfriend Material, this is his newest * bisexual female protagonist * absolutely perfect satire of The Great British Bake Off (you can tell this man has watched EVERY SINGLE SERIES and all of the holiday specials) * sweet and surprisingly thoughtful

10. Starless – Jacqueline Carey * genderqueer/transmasculine main character of color * almost all main characters are brown people! * lush Middle Eastern/India-inspired fantasy world * gods, prophecies, monsters * the best Oh God Why Me I Am A Horrible Mentor wise-old-mentor

11. The Future of Another Timeline – Annalee Newitz * nonbinary (they/them) author * time travel but make it The Handmaid’s Tale * will probably make your head explode * feminist, queer, subversive * diverse characters

12. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue – Mackenzi Lee * queer author * technically YA but historical/magical adventure set in the 1700s * bisexual disaster main protagonist and love interest of color * (mis)adventures across Europe * has a sequel (see below) with the badass asexual sister of the protagonist

13. The Hate Project – Kris Ripper * nonbinary/genderqueer author * M/M enemies to lovers/sex with no strings attached (spoiler alert: strings attached) * HECKING HILARIOUS * sweet, escapist, and very low stakes * diverse characters, including fat protagonist with realistic anxiety disorder

14. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy – Mackenzi Lee * PIRATES, obviously * sequel to Gentleman’s Guide * asexual female protagonist * strong queerplatonic f/f friendship * more historical/magical 18th century adventures

15. The Last Rune (series) – Mark Anthony * Imma be real with you chief, I haven’t read this series since I was a clueless teenager with no idea why I liked Gay Stuff so much, so if it does turn out to suck now, don’t throw rotten veggies at me * but especially since it was written in the NINETIES, this series was hella progressive?! * gay characters, disabled characters, characters of color, all playing significant and heroic roles in six-book epic fantasy cycle * people from Earth end up in high-fantasy world of Eldh * endgame M/M romance for the main character * books out of print, I think, but you can find them cheap somewhere like AbeBooks; first one (Beyond the Pale) linked above

16. The Library of the Unwritten – A.J. Hackwith * queer author * heaven-hell-Valhalla supernatural adventures * The Good Place x Good Omens x Lucifer x The Librarians * Pansexual Black badass female heroine * Queer found families * The Sassiest TM Bisexual Villain Turned Reluctant Hero (is he my favorite? Why on earth would you think that.)

17. The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon * epic doorstopper science fiction/historical fantasy set in a vaguely 16th-century world * main F/F romance between a queen and her sorceress bodyguard * sassy old gay alchemist whose backstory will give you Feelings * so many strong women and characters of color * no homophobia! marriage is fully gender-neutral, spouses are called “companions”

18. The Song of Achilles – Madeline Miller * likewise one you have probably heard of but still * a little light on the myth/historical part imho, but the writing is beautiful and will give you many feelings * M/M romance between Achilles and Patroclus  * reimagining of The Iliad (her other book Circe is also really good)

19 The Stars are Legion – Kameron Hurley * all-female apocalyptic space opera * messy messy antiheroines * grimdark war fantasy * queer sci-fi drama

20. Witchmark – C.L. Polk * author of color * M/M romance * main character is a veteran and a doctor dealing with his own hidden magic and repressed war trauma * gaslamp fantasy set in a world reminiscent of post-WWI England * strong sibling relationship

[sabypoo]

SPOILER WARNING 4x07 MY FRIENDS

👀

I expected the "worst". The reviews are not very enthusiastic, neither for this episode, nor for the last one. I had time to swallow the information, to live with it.

I also had time to realize that if we had any Villaneve at any time, it would be in the last episode and certainly very shortly. It was hard, and long, to accept this evidence. But I ended up doing it.

Maybe that's why I came to this episode without much expectation, just knowing what was in store for us next.

Well I really liked this episode.

In a completely different way from episode 6. Because this episode doesn't have much in common with the previous one.

If a few touches of humor are present, it's really very discreet.

Because this episode 7 is an episode of introspection.

You will tell me "again?". It will obviously be the last. But it is above all the one that closes the hesitations. Which puts an end to doubts. Now we need to get to the end.

What did I love about this episode?

Well, so many things to be honest! I will try to list it all:

Konstantin, my love.

From the moment he receives the call from Irina, I understood that something was going to happen in this episode. And I was so happy to hear his daughter's voice, because shit, she's always been important so please give her some space in this finale! (by the way, I have a theory about it 😃)

The second clue is the scene where he dances. I hadn't expected Pam to be the one to kill him at all (though I should have known that from what Vil said to her in Episode 5). I loved that moment, because K was finally free and he wanted to redeem himself from his past life by saving at least one person from the Twelve...and it was this person who murdered him, thinking she was following orders from a dead one. This man died alone (ok with Pam but alone anyway), far from his family that he abandoned, from the love of his life, from Villanelle. I find it really sad, but logical for his character. Very nice moment.

Villanelle-Jane and Gunn-Tarzan

Aahaha, someone said that on a tweet and I laughed so hard!

Gunn is Pam's opposite. She's a born killer. Without mercy. Asocial. Dangerous. Interesting to see that Vil' is a mix of these two killers, even if clearly, she's closer to Gunn than to Pam. Gunn doesn't care about other people's opinions. She is a woman who exudes freedom and that is what Villanelle seeks so desperately. Be free.

So it seems clear that life in a forest is not a life for Villanelle. But that's not the point. And that's why we are entitled to this kiss (and surely more suggested) SO HOT from our two killers. Damn, Jodie Comer has a gift for kissing my god, what a fantasy this woman is 😩 x__x Whatever she does, she brings me to my knees lol

Eve-Hamlet.

This is probably my favorite part of this episode and not necessarily when I expected it.

Eve finally faces her trauma. And even if I loved the scene with Martin (you're my hero!) it's not the one that gave me the most emotion in this episode but the karaoke one.

The way of choosing to stage this moment...the flashbacks to a time when Eve seems happy, to her past where she was...to see her friends, Niko, Elena, and Bill again (damn Bill ❤️ miss you so much) , that's so genius! And as @mini-oddity explains so well, it's a monumental slap in the face.

Because yes, for the first time, we see what this whole thing cost Eve. We love this show, we love that she became darker, that she gets closer to Vil but we forgot what it was, a normal Eve, an Eve who smiles, who has fun, who lives! And it fucking hurts. It hurts to see these people that we love too and to know that they are no longer there, that they will never come back...I find it perfect for an end to the show, even though it serves the plot.

Besides, a big up all the same for Yusuf, whom I love, even if I hate that he "replaces" Vil. A good man, one of the few who makes Eve smile and at least for that, I say thank you for this.

The end of the episode:

Oooh I love it so much that we don't know anything about the last episode. I so love that we end that this pursuit of Gunn and his attack on Eve. I can't wait to know how this moment will unravel!

My theories/fears/expectations for this finale:

Irina will play a role in the attack/death of our two heroines.

It would be a legitimate revenge on the part of Konstantin's daughter to want to eliminate this "sister" who has taken all her father's attention. She follows in the footsteps of Vil' in the Twelve.

There will be so much to say and so little time to do it...

It is necessary that:

Pam joins Carolyn in delivering Konstantin's message

Vil and Eve get out of their mess with Gunn

The Villaneve relationship

V and E go to the meeting point

But before, surely they will have to meet Carolyn

And all that will arise as discussion and intrigue from these meetings before "the final confrontation"

Unpopular theory that will make people scream

I think we will have an end to the Villaneve relationship, one way or another, which will be final. Why?

Because Martin talks to Eve about someone who loves her, understands her etc... So obviously we think of Vil' but is it still true? I thought of Yusuf, who is extremely tolerant, who knows Eve really well too. Not that I want it to be Yusuf, but it would be healthier.

Also, Eve isn't looking to join Villanelle after seeing Martin. She is just about to make a clean sweep of it all. It's because of the text. It's because of Konstantin. She doesn’t identify Vil' as the person to join.

Finally, once the Gunn problem is settled, the fact remains that they still have not discussed. Villanelle still doesn't want to be in Eve's presence.

So here's what I think:

Villanelle wants her freedom more than anything. And Eve is not a form of freedom, it is another cage, a power that holds her back.

I think they were the trigger in each other's lives. But after all the journeys this season, it seems like they weren't meant to be together. They needed each other to know who they were and what they wanted out of life. Now that they know...what's left?

So if one of them dies, the other will come back to life.

If both die, it's only at the last moment that we'll get a burst from Villaneve, to wrap up the story.

And if none of them die, I think they'll say goodbye forever.

Sandra Oh talks about romance as something that will never come to fruition, that is dumbed down from the start. So I'm leaning towards a death or something that, once again, prevents V and E from being together. I doubt they will survive and go their own way but...KE tends to play on our nerves so nothing is impossible.

I talk about these theories but I have no desire for it to happen this way! So let's cross our fingers that the absence of an image for this last episode is synonymous with Villaneve. ❤️

[davids-cartoon-corkboard]

I know Kid Cosmic is over now, but I have one more thought. Maybe I wasn't paying attention, but I don't think S3 explained why Papa G got the government's attention in the first place, or maybe it did not matter??

It’s unfortunately very common for cartoons to get cancelled before their time, with many things either left unresolved or hastily crammed into what little time the show still has. Spectacular Spider-man, The Legend of Korra, OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes, Ducktales (2017), Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, etc. etc. etc. The Owl House is getting its third and final season severely shortened, I hear.

Perhaps most relevant to your question, Anon, is Craig McCracken’s Wander Over Yonder, which got the same treatment. In that context, it’s no surprise CMC was laser-focused on Kid Cosmic’s main characters and storyline, even though it meant the side characters and worldbuilding weren’t expanded on much.

We don’t know Kid’s parent’s names. We don’t know their personalities. Presumably Kid’s mom is Papa G’s descendant, since she, Papa G, and Kid all have blonde hair and glasses and Kid’s dad has neither of those traits, but it’s never actually stated! And since Papa G is 112 years old, it seems unlikely that she’s his daughter, granddaughter or great-granddaughter is more likely. We don’t know anything about Papa G’s wife, either! And he mentioned the star on his hat was from his oldest son, implying he had at least two sons, which we also know nothing about!

As you mentioned, Anon, it’s never mentioned why Papa G got the government’s attention! Was it only the Biker in Black and his group that took notice of Papa G, or have other groups taken notice and are simply wise enough to let him be? Is this notice related to the main storyline, related to Papa G’s implied past space shenanigans, or both? What did Papa G get up to while in space?

Also we’ve got no info on Mo’s husband (Flo’s dad) or Flo’s husband (Jo’s dad), unless they’re both single moms who adopted their daughters? Also Fry apparently has a sister?

Also Chuck just kinda got shoved to the side after season 1, like, space has all this bonkers technology and he never got a new translator or robo-legs? His refusal to share Tuna’s translator... it’s painful for him to speak English unassisted, and he believes it is his “price to pay” for causing so much trouble. That kind of self-inflicted punishment is no doubt a leftover from his time as minion, but if you’ve done wrong, punishing yourself and groveling and acting obsequiously isn’t good for you or the person you’re trying to make things right with. Stepping forward is more important than bowing down.

Presumably his Great Leader is still out there being a conqueror and getting his minions killed left and right even without assistance from any Stones, but he was never dealt with, and his minions never freed! There’s a discussion about good vs. evil and learning and free will that we just never got.

Also the implication that Tuna Sandwich genuinely has human-level intelligence and it’s not just cartoon logic at work.

Also that the Portal Stone can transport people to a fantasy world? Like, did Queen Xhan know it could do that? How did Fantos know it could do that? As the fantasy world dissolved I.R.I.S. seemed distressed/in pain, so was it sort of real after all?

There’s also the Precognition Stone’s ability to see into the past, which could have also been used more. Did the other Stones have additional powers that could have been unlocked, then?

What’s the significance behind Fry’s tattoos? Why does Hamburg like pinecones so much? What’s Carl’s deal with vampires? What kind of cool biker adventures does Carla go on? What are Carlos and Ramona’s personalities like outside of being Rosa’s parents?

Also let me go on the record saying that I am pleased as fucking punch I was right about Erodius not actually being evil, though it’s still unclear as to whether it’s a naturally occurring entity or if it was created by someone, and whether or not it’s a person or can more accurately be compared to an animal or a computer program.

And that’s just off the top of my head, there is so much that could have been done with this world, but wasn’t. Even if CMC was given all the time, money, and staff he could ever want, I doubt he would have gone into every teeny tiny detail. Nevertheless, the story as is does suffer from being so “tight”.

Like, obviously what we did get was really fucking good and its flaws are minor when compared to its virtues, but I feel it’s still worth it to discuss its flaws. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[angelamajiki]

could you write a tamaki nsfw where the reader has been kidnapped and realizes that tamaki will let them take out their frustrations on him sexually 👀 and so they really take advantage of it and he just takes it/enjoys it like “hell yeah i suck” bc he feels like this is retribution since he knows kidnapping is wrong?? anyways love your writing and am obsessed with it!!!!! tamaki is best boy so i had high hopes for this account and they have been more than met bc your writing is amazing 🥰🥰🥰

[ relief - suneater AKA amajiki tamaki ]

AN: waaaaaa thank you thank you 😖 this got intense, I hope you don't mind the liberties I took with the kinks 🙈

CW: yandere, captivity, face sitting, degradation, bullying, mommy kink, choking, watersports, orgasm denial, ruined orgasm, begging, overestimation, dom reader, sub tamaki, afab terms for reader

Being captive in Tamaki’s home for the past three months has left you more pent up than you would have thought. No privacy, only getting moments of peace when he was off patrolling left very little time, space, and energy to relieve yourself. The thought of using your captor for such a reason crossed your mind many a time, but damn if your pride wouldn't let your guard down for even just a moment of relief. But if he were ever to jump your bones first, you're not sure if you would deny him of yourself.

Tamaki knew it; he knew you were horny and, most importantly, desperate. He saw the way your thighs would shyly rub together when he forced you to cuddle up for movie night or how you arched your back when spooning in the early mornings. Were you waiting for him to make a move? The poor boy was practically creaming his hero costume every time he thought about you masturbating at home, without him. Don't you know he can cater to your every whim, your every fantasy, bunny?

Coming home, he could see how tense you were, even before you acknowledged his presence. Poor thing, the move stressed sure stressed you out, huh? Not to worry, Tamaki is here to help.

“Excuse me?” you were breathless, did he really just say that?

“Sit on my face. You're so tense! I promise it’ll help you relax. O-Or we could try something else!” he pleaded, desperate to please you. “I just want to make you feel good, to relieve some stress. Won't you let me help you?”

Letting your frustrations out on him? Now that wasn't a bad idea. You were tense, in more ways than one. As toxic as it may be, you wanted nothing more than bully the poor man into a crying fit. But fuck what would be toxic. You've been in captivity, for fucks sake. Slowly, you nodded and eyed him skeptically.

“Fine, but I'm calling all the shots. Got it? We're finished when I say so.”

Tamaki nodded and practically ran to your side, clinging to your leg. Bunny said yes! Finally, finally he could prove that he would be everything you could want, everything you could need.

“Yes, yes! Please, use me however you want. I'm yours to abuse. I know you're upset with me, so please, take whatever you want out on me. I can handle it.”

A snort left your lips. This is precisely what the doctor ordered. A little bullying and a few orgasms would have you feel right as rain. Pushing him down the floor, you instructed for him to fold his arms behind his back. Naughty perverts like him don't get to touch. Peeling your bottoms and panties off, you stuffed the dirty pair in his mouth.

“A disgusting pervert like you doesn't deserve to taste me on your tongue. I'll fuck your face, but I doubt it'll satisfy you.”

How cruel you were feeling at this moment. Taking your seat, your began to drag your clit against his nose and slightly parted lips, using his throat to steady yourself as your placed both hands there.

“You’ll breathe when I say you can, pig.”

Gasping and moaning softly, you applied pressure with your hands as your sloppy cunt rubbed all over his flushed face. His muffled whimpers, his labored breathing, it was music to your ears. The wetness covered his face from chin to nose, making a mess out of your throne. As you reached your orgasm, you pulled the panties out of his mouth before completely suffocating him with your twitching pussy.

“Make me cum with that pathetic mouth if you want to breathe, slut.”

Tongue darting out, Tamaki was quick to savor his swift meal, making your squeal as your squirt on his face. Your juices sprayed onto his face and chest, your own heaving and panting as you came down from your intense high. God, the wait was almost worth it.

“Aw, did you get hard from eating mommy’s cunt? Let me fix that for you.”

Springing his dripping cock from his pants, you pressed your palm to the tip and rubbed vigorously over his slit while gripping his balls with your free hand.

“Don't even think about cumming without permission.”

Quickly overstimulating him, you soaked in the pained whimpers and cries that left his lips. Mommy, mommy, mommy, please let me cum. Please, please, please. What a pathetic dog he was.

“And why should I let you, hmm? You agreed that I would take the reigns but I never said you were allowed to cum.”

You're going to ruin this orgasm, just like he ruined your life. You'll deny him all the pleasures of having the freedom to cum as he pleases, just like he snatched your freedom from you.

“From this point forward, you will only cum and touch yourself when I allow it. Understand, boy? If you agree, I'll let you cum.”

Practically screaming at this point, a myriad of promises left Tamaki’s lips as he bucked hard into your hand, growing more desperate by the second. Releasing his balls, you take only a single finger to his cock and barely rub the tip until he’s cumming and twitching all over himself as he cries from overstimulation and the first orgasm you gave him, a ruined one.

“One more thing. You'll be my personal toilet from now on too. You want my forgiveness, right?” You cooed, stroking his tears away. “Then you'll have to earn your position under me as my slave first. Open up.”

Obediently opening his mouth, Tamaki held out his tongue in anticipation, eager to take what you want to give. Sighing gently, you began to relieve yourself, laughing as your piss streamed all over his already wet face. After you were finished, you gripped his hair in a tightly wadded fist.

“Where are your manners, bitch? Lick mommy clean.”

Whimpering, he began to suckle your clit and lick your folds, savoring your flavor before pulling him off of you and striking him in the face.

“Don't push your luck. What do we say when mommy gives you a gift?”

“T-Thank you, mommy.”

He truly was in heaven.

[valdomarx]

time enough for counting (when the dealing's done)

McShep + Vegas fix-it, requested by @beautifulmonster. 2k, rated M.

Bad beat

John had always known it would end like this. 

Well, the space aliens and the shady government organization had been a surprise. But the bleeding out, alone in the desert - yeah, that was always how he was going to go.

There’s a kind of dark satisfaction in seeing the world turn out exactly as shitty and brutal as you knew it would be. Called it.

His moment of sick vindication is interrupted, though, by a figure standing over him and peering down with cursory interest.

Sharp black suit, spotless even in the heat and the muck. Hands in pockets, head quirked in something that might be amusement. “Should have known you’d pull a stunt like this,” it says, and John would smirk at playing to type but the blood loss pulls him under.

Ante up

He wakes to pain. Vicious, lancing pain and the cloying smell of antiseptic and the beeping of monitors. He tries to sit up and his chest screams until he collapses back onto the bed.

Next to him, a slightly rumpled McKay is tapping furiously at a laptop. “Don’t go dying on me now, Sheppard,” he says without looking up. “I’ve got plans for you.”

Buy-in

The next time he wakes, the light has faded. It must be evening. 

The hospital room - his own private room, he realizes - is nice. Far too nice for the local joint. Must be private. Must have cost someone a pretty penny. He would have told whoever it is to save their cash.

“You’re awake. Good.” McKay strides in, less rumpled now. Neat black suit back in perfect order. “I don’t have much time, so listen up.”

He tells John how they destroyed the Wraith target before he could get a message to his buddies in Pegasus. How this universe is safe, but the spacetime rift has sent that information echoing through other universes. How they’re putting together a team to visit these other universes; warn them, offer to help if they can.

How he’ll be leaving in a few hours to head up the program. How he thinks John might be able to help.

John blinks. His eyelids are sticky and his mouth is full of fluff.

“Why the hell would you bring this to me?”

McKay flashes him an enigmatic smile. “You did save the world. Maybe you’re more of a hero than you realize.”

On the flop

He gets unceremoniously booted out of the hospital a few days later, when it becomes obvious that he’s not going to die and whoever was bankrolling his stay isn’t any more.

His car is totaled. The money inside is gone. He’s got the clothes on his back, a mountain of debt, no job, and -

He sticks a hand into the pocket of his jacket. There’s something in there: a neat rectangle of card which reads, Doctor Rodney McKay, PhD PhD. Don’t call me, I’ll call you. There’s no phone number.

He heads for the nearest motel he can find, picks up two bottles of rotgut whiskey, and drinks until he manages to pass out amid the sounds of yelling and the scuttering of cockroaches. 

Into the muck

Whatever the fuck else might be going on in the world, there is always the constant: 52 cards, 4 suits, the flick of the dealer’s wrist as he lays out your fortunes, the wins and the loses and the ones where you came oh so close.

He’s back at Mikey’s within a week, borrowing more to get out ahead of this debt, even though he knows that’s never going to work.

Maybe it’ll be different this time. Maybe he can win what he needs, pay off the people he has to, and use the rest to make a start somewhere other than here. Anywhere other than this desert full of chips and blood and corpses and filth.

It’s going to be a good night, he tells himself as he settles into a squeaky plastic chair at a low-roller table and looks around at his competition. Tourists and chumps, and he can take these guys no problem.

Pot-committed

He’s woken by a shrill ringing. His head feels like he’s stuck it in a cement mixer and his mouth tastes like cheap whiskey and puke. He rolls over, covers his ears with a ratty pillow, and ignores it.

The ringing continues. What the fuck? It’s a phone. It keeps ringing. He doesn’t own a phone.

Whoever the fuck is calling is still going, so with a groan he sits up and, bleary-eyed, looks for the phone. He finds it in his jacket pocket, and he’s almost certain it wasn’t there last night.

“Yeah?” he says as he answers it. “What do you want?”

“Sheppard,” a crisp, familiar voice says. “I’ve got a job for you.”

Sheppard closes his eyes. The last thing he needs right now is a world-ending crisis. “Can’t,” he says shortly. “I’ve got… business to attend to.”

McKay snorts. “Another fortune to lose at the poker table? I’m sure you do.” John can hear judgement radiating down the phone line. Then McKay sighs and softens. “Tell you what, meet me and hear me out, and I’ll see what I can do about clearing that off-the-books debt for you.”

That pings John’s bullshit meter, for sure, because that much money doesn’t get casually tossed around even in defense circles. But McKay gives him the address of a pancake place to meet for breakfast and what the hell, he does like pancakes.

Check in the dark

“We keep running into you,” McKay says, shoveling maple syrup-covered pancakes into his mouth with great enthusiasm. “Or, well, other versions of you. Practically every universe we’ve visited so far, you’re leading the team.”

John raises an eyebrow. Not much surprises him any more, but parallel realities strain even his credulity.

“It would be easier,” McKay continues, “if you were with us. You could help us explain. People trust you.”

John jerks back like McKay has slipped a knife between his ribs. McKay doesn’t seem to notice, or perhaps he does notice and is tactful or manipulative enough not to acknowledge it.

“Come work with me. We’d need to get you some -” he gestures with a fork, “- training, obviously. But you could be useful. You could do some good.”

John shifts in his seat. “I can’t just leave.”

McKay scowls at him. “Right, because you’ve got so many compelling reasons to stay.”

Gutshot

He ends up in some anonymous Air Force bunker in Colorado, of all places, and being around so much military life has his hackles rising. He’s deposited in a blank, windowless room with a desk covered in stacks of carefully redacted mission reports from the Stargate program which he reads voraciously because this is wild, this is unbelievable, but it’s also all true.

McKay finds him a few days later, lounging in the doorway as impeccable as ever. John is suddenly very aware of the fact he’s been sleeping in his clothes.

“Keeping busy?” McKay asks, voice dripping with condescension and something else John doesn’t want to put his finger on.

John nibbles the pen he’s holding as he considers how to answer that, and he notices the way McKay’s eyes flick to his mouth. Ahh. Interesting.

“Staying out of trouble, at least,” he drawls, letting his posture slacken so he’s lounging against the back of the chair and his knees are spread wide. It’s been a while but he knows how to play this game. 

McKay walks around to his side of the desk, each step measured and precise. Not too fast, no sudden movements, a predator lining up for the kill. John tilts his head back and bares his neck, because he knows how to play the role of prey. McKay perches on the edge of the desk between his legs, looks down his nose, and says, “Somehow I doubt that.”

“I can behave.” He looks up from under his lashes. It’s not exactly subtle, but fuck it, they’re way past that by now. “When properly motivated.”

McKay leans in, all sharp smiles and gleaming edges, and John shudders. McKay notices and the sharp edges of his smile glistens. 

“I know you can, Sheppard,” McKay says in a low voice that has the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. “I told you before. I know everything about you.”

Damn the man, John thinks, and then McKay winds his fingers into John's hair and yanks him in for a hot, messy kiss and John stops thinking altogether. 

Afterwards, as he makes vain attempts to pull up his shirt collar to hide the bite marks and to wipe the come stains off the classified military files, John reflects that he may truly be in over his head this time.

Under the gun

A stack of paperwork drops onto his desk with a dull thud. He looks up to find the scowling face of Major Davis.

“Consultant,” Davis says, chilly as ice. “That’s what the Pentagon is willing to offer. You’ll get a salary and accommodation, and in return you’ll help Doctor McKay with his research while he’s on Earth.”

John opens his mouth, though whether it’s to say thank you, to tell Davis to go fuck himself, or to ask for more money, he isn’t sure. Davis holds up a hand to stop him before he can find out.

“I advised against it, given your record. But McKay is a real pain in the ass when he wants to be. So this is what’s on the table. Take it or leave it.”

Tell

McKay’s brow is furrowed and he’s fiddling with some piece of machinery (probably alien, John thinks, and it seems that sort of thing is part of his life now). It blinks to life for a moment before the lights on the top fade away, and McKay swears and bangs it on the table.

“Hey, easy, Chewie,” John chides.

McKay’s eyes narrow. “I thought you said you didn’t like science fiction.”

“Star Wars isn’t science fiction. It’s science fantasy.”

McKay actually smiles at that, something joyous leaping up in the corners of his mouth.

“Knew you were a nerd,” McKay says under his breath, and John punches him playfully in the shoulder. He’s defending his honor, or something.

McKay ducks his head, and a blush creeps up the back of his neck.

Ace high

“I’ve got a surprise for you.” McKay looks even smugger than usual. 

“Yeah?” John slips a leer into the syllable.

But McKay just rolls his eyes. “Not like that. Come on, there’s something I want you to see.”

He leads him down through the base to a lower level, through endless security checks and into a dark hanger. There’s some technology they’ve acquired from an off-world source, he explains, deliberately vague. He’s trying to make some modifications to it, and he thinks John can help with testing.

John has learned to expect the unexpected in this place, but when the lights of the hanger flicker on his breath still catches. It illuminates a ship unlike anything he’s seen before: slick and cylindrical, rear hatch open to show seats and consoles inside.

“It’s fitted with inertial dampers, weapons, a shield,” McKay says breezily. “Oh, and you’ll like this.” He flicks a button on a control and the ship disappears in a haze like hot air. “It’s got a cloak too.”

It’s like something out of a movie, and John is struck speechless. He follows wide-eyed as McKay decloaks the ship to lead them inside and gestures for him to sit.

And woah, the moment he sits the chair glows and a holographic interface springs up in front of him, and he can feel the ship in his mind. He reaches out with a thought and - ping - the display shows a schematic of the hanger.

“Knew you’d be a natural,” McKay says, managing to sound both condescending and delighted. “Want to take her for a spin?”

Yes, everything in him screams, but he thinks about flames and smoke and the shrill, piercing whine of a tail rotor failing, and he grits his teeth against it and says, “I don’t fly any more,” instead.

McKay gives him a long, cool look. 

“We’ll start small,” McKay says, all business, and it’s so easy to relax and follow his lead. “I need you to activate the inertial dampeners while I adjust the shield field strength.”

Okay. Okay. He can do that.

The ship whirs to life.

Short stack

John stares at the blank white walls of his apartment.

It’s better than most places he’s lived in. No roaches, for a start, and it’s clean and has its own kitchen.

But it’s infuriatingly bland, and Colorado is infuriatingly empty, and there’s not so much as a slot machine within an hour’s drive and he is climbing the walls here.

McKay has disappeared on one of those weeks-long missions he can’t or won’t tell John about, and there’s a restless itching under his skin that’s urging him to drink or gamble or fuck or something, and this whole planet seems too small and too constrictive but he doesn’t want to climb under a blanket of booze and drain it all away.

He wants more.

On the river

“Modifications are done,” McKay announces. “Shall we test her out?”

The we makes something squirm in John’s gut but he dismisses it with a lazy, “It’s your alien spaceship.”

McKay looks for a moment like he’s going to say something, but then he pulls out a radio and talks into that instead. “This is Gate Ship One, ready for initial shield test burst.”

“Gate Ship One?” John scoffs. “That’s the best you could come up with?”

“It’s a ship that goes through the gate,” McKay pouts, and damn, that’s kind of cute. “Why, what would your suggestion be?”

John tilts his head. He’s seen footage of the ship traveling through the stargate, leaping through the event horizon and leaving barely a ripple in its wake. “Seems more like a puddle jumper to me.”

“You have the soul of a poet,” McKay says acerbically. 

And damn if that’s not kind of cute too.

Dealer’s choice

“Come with me,” McKay says, and John is ready to say yes before he’s even finished speaking. “To Pegasus. To Atlantis. I need to get back there, and I’m sure we can find a way to make you useful.” A little smirk at the end there.

“I don’t know how the Pentagon is going to feel about that,” John says, deliberately languid to hide the way his heart is pounding in his chest. Escape, adventure, somewhere new, somewhere he could be a new person, and he wants it so much it aches.

“Eh, fuck them. They can’t say no to me.”

“Okay,” he shrugs. “Not like I’ve got anything better to do here.”

McKay gives him a look that shoots straight through his defenses and down to his sticky innards. “Yeah, okay,” he says, and it’s soft in a way that makes the ache in John’s chest twist into a deep burn.

All in

The jumper hovers in the air in front of the stargate. 

“Nervous?” McKay asks, carefully casual, like he doesn’t already know the answer.

John hums. The inside of the jumper feels as much like home as any place he knows. What’s another galaxy to a man with no ties?

“You’re going to love it there,” McKay says with a smile he can’t hide. He dials up the gate and it engages with a tremendous whoosh and a burst of brilliant blue light.

Here goes nothing, he thinks as McKay deploys the drive pods and fires up the engines. One last new start. 

[seita]

some coping mechanism are wrong and do need to be discussed or changed!! neurodivergency doesn’t give u an excuse to hurt or trigger others!! coping mechanisms don’t exist in vaccums... and you and ur followers are harming real people by saying such

i was going to ignore most everything i got on the subject because quite frankly i'm over it. every opposing take either doesn't make sense, is completely ignorant, or is just plain stupid.

this one? is just idiocy.

so i'm gonna take the time to explain some things to you.

i cannot begun to express the ignorance and privilege that is seeped into every single word of this ask. i am actually baffled that you genuinely thought that this was, in any way shape or form, okay. or that you even thought this was a hot take at all.

you do not have any jurisdiction or power to tell other people that the way they cope is wrong. that is so beyond disgusting.

do you know why people choose to write dark content to cope?

a few reasons that range from: gives power/comfort over their trauma to lets them release emotions that otherwise have no outlet.

beyond that is that some people don’t have the resources or support system needed to cope in other ways. all they may have is a pen and paper or a laptop. they may not live in a home where they were believed, they may still be trapped with their abuser, or they may just plain not be able to afford therapy.

but do you know what the fun thing is? plenty of these people who choose to cope in this way are advised by their therapists to do it. like myself.

i used to write in little notebooks as a child -- really dark, foul shit and i didn’t understand why i did it. i talked to my therapist and i was told it’s a great outlet! i have to say writing is probably one of the top reasons i managed to get to the space i am in today.

when i learned the wonders of the internet growing up, i also sought out to READ the content. of course, it was very hard to find because of people like you who do nothing but shame it simply because of the real world values the crimes possess and for some reason refuse to see it in a fictional, helpful way.

it’s a very real and very valid coping mechanism: both reading and writing are incredibly beneficial.

this outlet also helps people just the same as it can hurt people. i don’t know who or what you think you’re doing but survivors who are triggered by the content of a darker nature WILL NOT CLICK ON IT TO READ IT. why are you acting like survivors and victims are brainless, mindless idiots who will read something clearly labeled with their triggers as if there’s some invisible force dictating them too?

and who are you? a highschool student? a college student? a therapist? what right gives you, a random person on the internet, to dictate something that has been ADVISED and PROVEN to help with coping to trauma to deem it wrong?

im gonna go ahead and say your morality. nothing beyond that.

you see dark content as just disgusting porn fucked up people jerk off to but it’s beyond that. and very obviously something you do not understand and most likely refuse to understand.

you think because you think something is wrong that it should be wrong all around. you don’t like it so it shouldn’t be done.

i hate to break it to you but the real world isn’t going to cater to you. i sure as fuck won’t. i’m not in charge of making you feel happy or content on the internet. if you log on to your computer and expect people to babysit you and make you feel comforted and safe -- you’re doing the internet wrong.

you only choose to see the negative side to this. you see that people can be triggered or hurt by this content and that’s valid. people can and will be. but there’s also a HUGE number that people like you choose to ignore and invalidate under the guise of protecting survivors only to hurt them at the same time. it doesn’t make sense.

you’re not trying to advocate and protect people -- you’re trying to make the fandom and content match up to your puritan ideals and fantasies. the world isn’t like that. people are always going to do things you don’t like and have opposing opinions on things. stop trying to act like you’re doing this for the greater good -- a martyr, hero complex isn’t a cute look and we can see exactly what you’re doing.

i don’t understand why it’s so hard to accept that dark content does not have as big of a negative impact as you think it does.

i also don’t understand how other survivors can see what people like me do and tell us we’re wrong. i don’t go out of my way to shame you and say “oh you don’t like dark content? weird.” i mind my own fucking business and stay away from blogs that don’t want to interact with dark content writers.

i am respectful always. i never attack people for having opposing opinions. i never attack people personally. people who write dark content don’t do that shit.

you know who does?

your side.

you know what someone said to me in an effort to shame me and bully me for writing what i write? they called my writing shit -- the thing i use to cope and help other cope. i’ve never gone on anon or off anon and told someone their writing was shit.

i also had someone ask me why i think being a victim made me special. i’m gonna let you sit and figure out exactly what is wrong with that question.

those are the types of people you’re enabling and encouraging. if you people just left dark writers alone we wouldn’t hurt anyone. you all preach this shit about how dark content is SOOOOO easily availble anyone can read it. that is false. the only way to find dark content is to ALREADY BE ASSOCIATING WITH PEOPLE WHO CREATE OR CONSUME DARK CONTENT. it’s not tagged in the main tags. it will not show up in your orbit or be blasted on your page because someone posted it.

and then you people say “oh minors will be convinced it’s okay!!!” no. minors aren’t as stupid as you seem to think they are. they fully know and understand exactly what they’re getting into. they see the word rape and know in real life THAT’S BAD.

you don’t want a slasher film and think  “oh wow look at him killin all those people but not getting caught I COULD DO THAT TOO!!!!” no. you don’t. because you know it’s wrong.

y’all are so high up on you moral horse that you think everyone around you is fucking stupid and has no common sense.

if someone thinks what they read in fiction makes it okay in real life, there was already something wrong with them to begin with.

but no, you’ll pull out anything on earth to try and get your point across. from secondhand trauma to it just being offensive.

and i hate to be the one to tell you this but...all this crusading is doing basically nothing in the long run. you know what happened yesterday from being called out? i lost 9 followers.

and then i gained 20. and now im only 100 away from 16,000.

what did all of this achieve? what does any of this even do?

whenever you people do this what exactly is it you want? do you expect us to just...stop...because you don’t like it? are you really so self-centered and self-righteous that you think you’re THAT important. do you really believe your opinion and voice is the loudest and most important to consider?

because it really isn’t.

just as you’re sitting here telling me you’re wanting to protect people -- i’m wanting to help people. do you know how many people i’ve had thank me for making them feel better about their owwn fantasies that they’d previously been ashamed of because they’re a victim? or how many people thank me for providing the content they rely on to cope?

i’m gonna go ahead and say those are the people i want to help. those are the people i care about. and i don’t know what it’s gonna take for you people to understand that i will not stop until i DECIDE to.

this is the internet. none of your opinions or words have any long-lasting, realistic effect on me, my person, or my life. i could delete my blog and in a month nothing any of you have said to me over this course of time will have impacted me in the long term. of course, other people are more sensitive and can get hurt by this discourse.

but i don’t. i’m a lot more stubborn and thick-skinned than you people may seem to realize.

your words will continue to go in one ear and out the other. i know where i stand. i know where i want to remain.

your morality nor your opinions are blanket rules that everyone should abide by. get some perspective and learn your place in the world before speaking on things you clearly cannot understand.

[tomatograter]

What would you say is the very core of dirkjake? I struggle to put it into words beyond dirk being afraid jake will get tired of him

Ok this is a fun one hang on, strap in,

Much like vrisrezi, and in fact a reoccurring theme throughout HS as a work in full -represented in varying levels of relevance to its cast of core characters- dirkjake is about the masks we willingly fashion ourselves after to starve off insecurity. Everything else is a permutation of that.

But also akin to vrisrezi, their interpersonal relationships and character arcs are heavily about how said performances can be turned into destructive weapons that hinder the development of one's growth and personal identity, rippling through friend groups and plot events. That's a lot of words. So let's break it down like this: 

Vriska's Mindfang performance is a defense mechanism created to strengthen her resolve when dealing with isolation and an abysmal monster as a mother, and serves to advance the plot, but is highly harmful to vriska and those around her. (Of note - Vriska doesn't see herself as a villain, it is incredibly important that she's a HERO, just a highly polarizing and problematic one.)

Terezi's Legislacerator ((space cop)) performance is an elaborate persona created to make sense of an antagonistic and temperamental environment, and seemingly dole out punishments that would ensure things continue to function as they should, even to terezi's personal detriment. Vriska is far from the first troll or human terezi has killed, but it's the one that breaks the scale, because terezi knows she's just another victim of the system.

Neither of the above make up the entirety of vriska OR terezi as characters, simply the masks they've chosen to slot themselves into a narrative that will not stop for them, or anybody else for that matter, to have time to 'figure themselves out' before steamrolling them. Vriska and terezi's relationship relies in the bond they formed through the cracks on their masks, to a point in which hopefully they can help eachother to get rid of them.

When talking about dirkjake, instead of focusing on the alternian or human society we have the introduction of dystopic hyper isolated homescenarios that will define their viewpoints as Characters in this story. If vrisrezi is cops-and-robbers, dirkjake is princesses and dragons. Oh yeah, they're both simplistic morality plays.

It is precisely how set apart they are from everyone else but immediate danger (may it be rogue lusii naturae or imperial drones) that molds them into people who crave connection but are too cocooned inside their own walls to let anybody through, even those they care for. Taking the brunt of responsibility for a Legacy and attaining a greater future plays a key role for most of the alphas, but in dirk and jake's case this is demonstrated through the necessity for brash, masculine heroism and the suppression of fragility or sentimentality. Before the story has a chance to admonish them for stepping out of line, they'll do it to themselves out of habit.

The situation gets a little worse when the roles they've picked to enact (invariably, The Hero!) don't match with the roles the story wants them to play.

Jake is the archetypal swooning and good for nothing princess who's there to look pretty and provide motivation To others, modernized into the cool action girl trope we've known to find and despise in every other movie, those who often say 4 lines about how cool and smart they are or how they were raised by their older brothers with big guns and then spend the rest of their screentime in varying states of distress, undress, or concerning unconsciousness. Sometimes all three!!!!! 

It is because of this lack of agency that jake stresses his role as a charming gallivanting and STUPID action hero, thereby providing a excuse for his lack of control over his own life, and makes stumbling into situations ass-first look charming. He wants his friends to be impressed with him, and he'll lie to achieve that effect, because he wants to be liked and to be taken seriously. The problem is that he's all too aware of how he's been set up, and he vehemently rejects it.

Dirk is the dragon. Yup. Function? To be slayed. Duty? To make your life a nightmare in just about every possible way, giving the eventual story payoff a grander climax. Inadvertently, accidentally, well-intentionally, and yet sometimes on purpose, dirk strider ends up in the antagonist role. His awareness of the fact and penance for its weight is such he'll preemptively take the blame for things that aren't even his fault, like a loser. While jake eventually has to deal with how he ends up breaking things on accident to provide a backdrop motivation for others, dirk is stuck in a self-fulfilling loop of having mostly negative input in everyone's lives, including (if not specially) his own.

Dirk's hyper-investment in playing the Knight, like his brother before him, and ensuring his input on everyone's stories remains constructive and ever-helpful even if he doesn't know what the FUCK he's talking about or what is happening 99,9% of the time is a byproduct of multiple timelines spent in less glorious ways.

The core of dirkjake, then, is how they're simultaneously the one person who's the closest to seeing the other for what they truly are, but ashamed of their own shortcomings, they do their best to advance the fantasy version instead. To know and value a loved one is to become aware of your own lies, and to acknowledge the performance panic that comes with it. Ye olde jingle of "Self-recognition through the eyes of the other" and "the pants-soiling fear that actually you're still a faker and you will never be enough", weaved up and remixed. Their problem is that Princesses don't marry Dragons, and in a realistic setting neither do Princes and Knights for that matter, they're too busy with- doing the other stuff!!!!! The stuff that should be done! Even if they wanted to! 

Which actually goes right back to my claim that dirkjake is exactly like Shrek, The Movie, And This Is Why.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 5

Through a Glass, Darkly

Welcome back to the Temple of the Earth Defiant where the girls and their magical horses (and one pony!) have found refuge from the strange, twisted, fae creatures that have been chasing them. The statue of Asha Hammerheart that Ost animated last episode is still alive and wrecking house on the remaining harpies and beasts that are foolish enough to keep fighting and the rest soon get the hint and flee. 

Ost does some healing (boosted by the ambient Hallow effect of the temple which gives everyone a short rest) and then, seeing the damage to the temple caused by erosion, starts using Mending to fix things up. Her friends help out too with Sam and Yelle being most effective--Sam by repairing water damage and Yelle by creating tree cover and other druid-y tricks. But of course, we can’t overlook Katja’s crucial addition of carving “A Horse is a Home” into one of the walls of this sacred temple. 

Anyway, the girls are nesting super hard, the horses are having their scrapbooking reviewing club (an insane thing that was established last episode) and then Sam asks a question. Did y’all mention something about a photo of me going viral? Everyone’s like yeah, but don’t worry, you looked super hot. That’s not the part Sam was worried about. What she’s worried about and what all the girls except Zelda don’t really seem to know is that Sam doesn’t really have a social media presence. So like, 180k and climbing views (as decided by a dice roll) isn’t really what she wants. She scrolls through the comments really quick and sees that they’re not awful but one person is like, “Hey that girl looks a lot like that character from that old show”. Which Sam doesn’t love. She says that she’s fine but also that, even without an Insight check, she’s obviously not. 

Sam kind of looks to Zelda to bail her out and Zelda is like, “Hey, I’m gonna delete this video.” The other girls follow suit, even though they don’t quite know what’s happening. When they have to split up to investigate, Sam has Zelda kind of bail her out again and they split up to go check a nest outside--Zelda waving off Danielle when she wants to go with. Ant and Yelle decide to check out a cache of some treasure they saw earlier and Ost and Katja stay with the horses to keep fixing the temple up. Penny initially goes with Ant and Yelle but rushes back to be with Ost and Kat when Ost discovers a hidden lock while she’s fixing a wall.

So, the girls are split up, let’s run all these scenes.

Antiope and Yelle

Ant and Yelle go see the pile of treasure (near the statue of dwarven paladin Yvonna) which they learn is like a “take a penny leave a penny” situation for weapons and items. They were left by adventures who were similarly chased here and you can take what you need as long as you leave something to help others. Like, “Oh no I only have an ice sword and I need flaming arrows.” It doesn’t have to be equivalent exchange, you just need to leave something useful.

In this space, Yelle feels a weird melancholy and like they’re within the watch of something vast and powerful. She tries to check for TK’s presence but rolls low. Antiope leaves her Kalvaxus killing shortsword and takes some really nice, white feather fledged arrows with mirror tips and an ax Kat wants as a present for her dad. Danielle takes a bandolier of potions (3 healing and 2 mystery I believe) and leaves a bunch of mushrooms. Some of them are psychedelic and Ant takes one because this is probably a good time to be high, right?

It’s not messing with her competence obviously though because she rolls a 25 on Primeval Awareness and gets a weird sense, like something is closing in on this place. And like something very powerful is bleeding, which combined with the chaos of the mountains might explain the weird harpies and the cat/dogs. But she’s high so she explains this is a very spacey, stoner way. Probably a good thing she’s with Yelle.

Sam and Zelda

Sam can fly and Zelda can basically walk vertically with her goat legs so they check out the nest. Well, ostensibly that’s what they’re doing. Really they’re just having a heart to heart. Sam thanks Zelda for saving her ass and apologizes profusely for being so short with her. Zelda gives her a huge mid-air hug and says it’s not a big deal because she knows Sam is just lashing out because she’s hurting but Sam says it’s not a good enough excuse and she’s truly sorry. It’s been her coping mechanism for so long but she doesn’t want to be that way. She tells Zelda that the Everpetals are divorcing and that she’s living alone and Zelda says that any one of the girls would be happy to have her stay with them. Sam further explains that this is a big part of the reason she’s been so broken up about the possibility of their group splitting up and Zelda immediately takes out her crystal and texts her “I’m in” in the thread, breaking Sam again. 

Since they’re in heart to heart mode, Sam tells her that she talked to her bio-mom and an agent and she’s not sure what to do. Zelda says that she’s gonna be spectacular no matter what she does and she doesn’t have to do any of them but it’s cool doors are opening for her but also Antiope and Penny are gonna be PISSED that she’s out here making side plans after she gave them so much shit for theirs. Lol, well it’s a nice moment in the meantime and we cut to…

Penny, Ost, and Katja 

While Penny is lockpicking (and also trying to teach one of the horses to lockpick because sure) Katja and Ost go talk to the statue of Asha Hammerheart. It seems to be animated with at least some level of her true consciousness from beyond the grave and that she can kind of woge into her statue when she wants, which is cool. She’s been there for like 250 years so that’s a lot of history to see. 

Ost is maybe the most polite we’ve ever seen her talking to Asha (at least to begin with lol) and they ask her about TK. Asha says she saw TK show up 12 years ago but she never left, at least not through the front door. And then about 2 years ago (right around when they were in the crystals) that’s when the harpy queen showed up. At first they were normal and then they started mutating. Also, recently, Korra (one of the other statues/heroes) saw a woman in the mountains--not TK. 

Ost then takes a page from the book of one St. Kristen Applebees and asks, “Hey. What’s the deal with our god? He never talks to us, does he just suck?” Asha--who has never talked to him even though she’s a martyred hero and literally in dwarf heaven makes some excuses for the guy but Katja scoffs at them. “If people wanna take care of you, they do.” Ost then straight up asks if Logran Soulforger is even real which sets Asha off but Ost isn’t mad AT her, she’s mad FOR her. You go and do all this cool shit to the point where you have this cool ass statue, you fully DIE for him and he doesn’t even say hi? With a 21 Persuasion check, Asha admits that yeah, she would have liked some recognition. She decides she’s gonna go do some talking to some people and leaves after getting Ost’s number but before they can ask more about the woman Korra saw (who they think is Charity). 

OK, that’s all the small group stuff! Everyone comes back as Penny finishes up with the lock and they go down into this room that’s full of polished, precious stones. This is probably where people who were upkeeping the temple stayed. While everyone else is going down, Sam feels some powerful magical pull--much like her episode 1 Lightning Lure--calling her from the top of the stairs so she goes back up. We’ll get back to her in a bit. 

Penny rolls a high check to clock what’s going on down here. First off, she finds flintlock bullets and airship uniform scraps which makes it seem like there was a battle here involving some airship guys from the Baronies. Which is not just the place of origin of Riz’s imaginary Romance Partner. It’s a cluster of nations known for high rates of monarchical turnover and renaissance style intrigue. I’m picturing just a nation of [REDACTED]s from Crown of Candy. 

With all of this stuff, Penny finds an emblem of a billionaire airship mogul named Lord Talcidimir Tallbreeze who is a friend of her dad’s. Yelle is immediately like FUCK billionaires which isn’t plot relevant but it’s nice to know she’s always on brand. 

Oh also, Penny just casually finds the Legendarium so that’s neat. 

To be safe, Ost casts Protection from Energy on Ant (who is the one who knows how to use it) and brings out her Spirit Guardian (who is a combo of her mom, nona, and Asha, with her dad’s rings). Ant checks it out and sees that there are currently no A, B, or C quests in all of Spyre. While Penny cross references the bylaws to see if there’s a way to get around this, Yelle does some druid BS that I still do not understand to use the crystals in the cave to jailbreak this super powerful magical Artifact so they can just have copies on their crystals. While that’s happening, let’s check on Sam. 

Sam goes back up the staircase where she sees Ending who doesn’t look menacing at all, just extremely sad. She’s looking out the mouth of the cave and, when she turns, Sam can see she’s crying blood. 

“What’s wrong?” asks Sam, the acid-tongued but good-hearted. “Can I help you?”

With a 25 Persuasion check to get her to talk, Ending apologizes for scaring her and her friends before. She didn’t mean to. She sometimes forgets that her very nature can be frightening and dangerous to others. She says that when she escaped, she tried to rejoin her sisters but found their mirrors shattered and them gone. Sam thought they escaped but that doesn’t make sense to Ending. If they had, why wouldn’t they have freed her as well?

Sam asks who her sisters were and we finally get true names for Ending and her sisters:

Chrona, Terra, Pyrria, Nira, Zefira, Anima, and herself, Talura (which is what I’ll be calling her now that we know). Talura is the baby, the youngest. Sam realizes she’s talking about the Eidolons and Talura seems surprised and a bit pleased that Sam recognizes them. 

Sam asks if she can hug her and Talura hugs her tightly in a very cold embrace that doesn’t hurt. Downstairs, she hears her friends (Penny specifically) freaking about about the lack of quests but she doesn’t break the hug. 

“My own sisters are struggling right now but I’m gonna stay with you because you don’t know where yours are. But maybe we can find them.”

Talura clocks that the way that Sam is being is her true nature, not the bitchiness she often uses as a shield. Then she starts to talk about her history. That she and her sisters were sealed away when the gods were done with them (Sam can relate to being used and set aside) and the only way out was death. Talura has been crying and looking for her sisters to no avail. Her tears of blood leaking seems to be what caused the monsters to mutate which is in line with what Yelle and Ant were sensing. 

Talura doesn’t think anything could have destroyed her sisters so she’s very confused. Sam offers Talura her Mirror of the Past because it almost knocked out Sam to get god-tier information but Talura presumably won’t have that problem. Talura offers her a boon in exchange for this great kindness but Sam says she doesn’t need any quid pro quo. “This is just because you’re hurting.”

Talura is supremely touched and still wants to do something for her new...friend? Sam accepts the title and says that what she needs is some help on her GED quest. Once she explains what she means, Talura again recognizes Aguefort and is like, Oh, you need a quest? I can totally help with that! As we learned earlier, these guys are kinda genie connected so it’s not super surprising when Talura very happily goes full your wish is my command.

Downstairs, a Class A quest suddenly appears in Spyre on the screen. 

Back upstairs, Talura says that it’s been too long since she got to grant a wish and seems really happy about it. Sam gives her the mirror so she can check what happened to her sisters but when she does, she totally flips out and gets super angry--not at Sam, just at whatever she’s looking at. She can hardly believe it. Sam tries to figure out what’s wrong but she just gets super big and then disappears into a puff of smoke, leaving Sam's mirror on the ground, covered in frost. 

Downstairs, the Class A quest expands across the entire globe and then the Legendarium cracks. Ost’s spirit guardian disappears because of alarm bells ringing in the afterlife. And the girls learn that a Class A quest is a quest that affects the whole MULTIVERSE. Yikes!

So anyway, they girls go upstairs to check on Sam (on a bear that Penny makes because sure) and they see that something clearly just happened with Sam. Yelle asks if she’s good and Sam is like yeahhhh I don’t think ANYONE is good right now. Sam seems like she’s about to cry and Antiope instantly forgets all the petty bullshit going on between them and rushes to make sure she’s not hurt. 

Sam gives the girls a rundown of what happened and Yelle concretely puts together what I said earlier about Talura’s tears messing with nature. 

Sam wants to check her mirror to see what Talura saw and Brennan says she can do it the safe way with risk of failure of the surefire way with risk of personal harm. She, of course, picks door 2 and rolls a 13 on her con save which means she rises into the air like Storm from X-Men, eyes wide, and then instantly passes out and goes into shock. Antiope is there to catch her as she does. 

Also, she looks SUPER hot while falling on a 31. Honestly, it’s a shame she doesn’t allow herself a social media presence. 

Anyway, we’ll get to what she sees in a bit. Yelle and Ant make sure she’s OK (she is, but the has to be knocked out for this or she won’t be able to handle it). 

Penny tells them what she knows about each Eidolon from her earlier research which is what element each goes with:

Chrona: Time (Related to astral and elemental planes) 

Terra: Earth

Pyrria: Fire

Nira: Water

Zefira: Air

Anima: Life

Talura: Death 

They also talk about TK never leaving via the front door and all this airship stuff being around. Maybe she left out the top of the mountain on an airship? Katja has the hookup with this Tal guy (she’s met him when she was younger) so they decide they need to check it out once Sam is good. 

The girls fix the Legendarium and Ost, when she goes to pray for her spells for the night, doesn’t pray to her usual god. She prays to Asha. And not only does she get her spells, she also gets a new one--Commune. 

And now let’s get to what Sam is seeing in her Vision Coma. 

She was told by Talura that the only way out of the mirrors given to them by the gods was death. And what Talura saw that drove her to do whatever multiverse threatening thing that she did was every one of her sisters walking out of their mirrors and choosing death. I will specifically highlight that the oldest sister leaves almost immediately with a small, “Oh,” of realization and Anima, the closest sister to her seems terrified before coming to a joyful realization and leaving.

And that’s the end of the episode! Join us next week when apparently there is talk of a masquerade ball?????? Brennan, you shouldn’t have!   

Superlatives 

Sam: Most Likely to Accidently Snag a Brand Deal

Did you guys ever read the Greek myth of Cupid and Psyche? Where Psyche was born so hot that it was basically a curse and she was miserable because she was so hot that Aphrodite hated her? That’s Sam. She is incapable of almost dying in a non-aesthetic way. It’s like a Pantene commercial every time. This is my favorite running gag.

Random Thoughts

Man, I have so many feelings about Sam. She’s such a BITCH in so many ways but it’s so obvious that she has a good heart. Every time she has an opportunity to be nice with no gain--helping Lola find her dog, magically turning the pages for the horses during book club, fully refusing a boon from Talura--she does. And I’m glad she gave Zelda such a sincere apology and didn’t let the extenuating circumstances absolve her because she said some pretty uncalled for things. But at her core she’s so kind and I want only good things for her. 

Also those of you who know me from my FH recaps know I’m a messy bitch for sister stuff so Talura and Sam both referring to the other maidens as her sister had me dead. You can tell when something in this show is f’ing me up when I just start directly quoting instead of paraphrasing. 

Katja being richer than Helio but having no idea what any of the brands Ost is mentioning are is peak comedy.  

As is Ant’s response to the take and penny leave a penny translation from Ost, “No, Penny didn’t come with us.”

Ost: I get service in the afterlife.

You could really tell which of the players watched Sophomore Year because the Baronies came up and all of them went into fight or flight immediately. 

Very Elsa vibes from Sam during the top of the scene with Talura. (Sam is, of course, a better sister but we simply do not have time to get into my feelings on Frozen 2 right now).

I was wondering why this season was called just “The Seven” when it dropped initially. Like, was it snappier? Did they not want to use the word “maiden”? But they still call themselves the Seven Maidens in the show so it’s probably not that. Now I’m wondering if it’s just to parallel the 7 of them w/ the 7 Eidolons. 

So it seems clear based on the reactions of the first and sixth sisters that they didn’t just “go gently into that good night” as Ant would say and ditch Talura. It seems like they figured something out. Also Brennan isn’t really a “and then they all died, the end” kind of DM, you know? Credit to my friend @camwritery for getting here before I did but the gods said the only way out was death and she is death so you know? Those def seem like puzzle pieces that go together. 

The only crit rolled this episode is a 1 by Penny which she gets to reroll as a halfling. 

[ecliptsukki]

a turned spirit ❧ bakugou katsuki / ground zero

navigation | music

➣ genre: angst

➣ warnings: villian!baku, unrequited love

➣ request: bakugou Is fighting the reader and the reader Kiss him to distract him to escape ( Sidenote have you ever watch Jennifers body

➣ a/n: hi, anon! unfortunately, i’ve never watched jennifer’s body but i have seen a few scenes before. if your request is correlated to the movie, i’m so sorry if the fic doesn’t turn out the way you want :((( also! since bakubro’s birthday is today (in the us), i decided to write a fic for him and so i saw this request! i tried to post it yesterday, but i got occupied with homework :/// if the center of the fic sounds like word spew, it probably is because it spaced out in the middle of writing it lmao. i promise i will work on the other requests waiting in my inbox, i just need time. thank you and enjoy!!!

Sirens were going off throughout the city; dark clouds of smoke wafted in the air. Some citizens were being calmly evacuated to a safer location, whereas others were watching the pro heroes fight the villain. 

A loud boom echoed through the streets of the city, attracting everyone’s attention. A flash of orange flames lit up the sky, followed by a hoarse shout. 

You would’ve recognized that voice anywhere, be it in your sleep or in a loud, crowded room. 

Oh how you wished you had Deku with you as of now.

“Happy birthday, Bakugou!” You and your classmates jumped out of their hiding spots, surprising the hot-headed peer.

He gave the group of you an unimpressed stare, hands shoved in the pockets of his low-waisted pants. The blonde gave the decorated room a once over before grunting a quiet thanks of appreciation.

“No need to be such a tsundere, Baku-bro,” Kaminari chirped, nudging Bakugou with his shoulder.

“Fuck off, Pikachu,” the black-clothing-clad boy grumbled.

“Cheer up, Bakugou! It’s your birthday, and everyone here set this up for you!” Kirishima placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

Everyone else in the class had began to roam the snack table or dance with each other to Jirou’s live music. You, on the other hand, held a neatly wrapped gift in your arms, collecting the courage to approach and give Bakugou the gift yourself.

Watching as the blonde sat himself onto the plush cushions of the common room’s couch, your feet carried you over to him, forcing you into one reality.

“What do you want?” His gruff voice spoke, staring at your frozen figure.

Lips trembling, you decided your actions would speak louder than your words, at the moment. Your arm stuck out, handing the gift to Bakugou. He looked at you, then the gift, gently grabbing the box away from you.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

Internally panicking, you simply nod and hum, eyes focused on your feet. You scurry away as soon as you could, attempting to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks.

Unbeknownst to you, Bakugou was watching your frantic figure gather some water to cool yourself down. 

Cute, he thought, looking down at the custom-made, Ground Zero wrapping paper you used for his gift.

The sound of explosions neared you and the other pro heroes. Some heroes were too injured to fight or were helping the police escort the citizens away faster. Coincidentally, you were the only one who could fight. Luckily, unlike the other heroes, you already had experience fighting the inevitable explosion man.

“Go! Take them as far from here as possible. I’ll try to hold him back,” you shouted at the escapees and your fellow heroes.

You ran forward, closing in on the sound of explosions. You caught a glimpse of the smoke and orange flames and moved to get in closer range of them.

Once you could see the muscular man shooting through the sky, you activated your quirk, attracting his attention to you.

“Well if it isn’t my least favorite UA girl,” his voice echoed down the street.

“Bakugou,” you spoke in a low tone.

“How’s it going, L/N? I see you’re one of the top pro heroes now,” he smirks, little sparks lighting from his palms.

“You could’ve been one too,” you responded, ignoring his question.

“Yeah, I could’ve, but why tie myself down to boring rules?” 

The two of you were walking in circles, neither one willing to turn their backs.

“What about your dream of being stronger and better than All Might?” You brought up his childhood dream, hoping to draw out more time.

“Can’t you see? I am better than All Might. My power is unlimited,” he cackled.

You gulped, frowning at the man ahead of you. His appearance didn’t change much in comparison to when he was a high schooler. Now, he was the shell of someone you had fallen for once.

Scoffing, he spoke, “As much as I’d like to let you stall more time, I’ve got some people to show my power to.”

Seeing as he was ready to boost himself away, you ran towards him, grabbing his arm and trying to pin him to the floor. You wrapped your legs around his waist, legs coming down from behind him, knocking his knees down. Since he was on his knees, you swung yourself around him and pushed him onto his chest, cheek squashed against the floor. You pulled both his arms back, trying to pry his grenade gauntlet off of him.

With you straddling his back, you could feel him chuckle from underneath you, “You really think you can take those off? They were designed so that only I could take them off on my own accord.”

You ignored him, straining to pull of the big and heavy items. It was like taking them off would release him from some imaginary spell you thought up in your mind, like it would liberate your chained heart and he would come back.

Bakugou could feel your efforts beginning to weaken and took the opportunity to his advantage. With a slight roll of his shoulder, he managed to use the gauntlet’s weight to escape your grasp.

With you stuck in a heartbroken haze, you were too late to realize the villain overpowering you until you were the one under him. You stared into his scintillating ruby eyes, searching for even a fraction of the classmate you had mourned over losing. Tears pricked your own E/C eyes, spilling down your flushed cheeks.

For a moment, the blonde’s aggressive façade had faltered, his eyes quivering at the sight of your tear-stained cheeks. It was only when he heard the sound of a building collapsing on its weak infrastructure did he warn you once more.

“I suggest you get out of here before I have to hurt you,” he growled lowly, dismissing the bitter taste the words had left in his mouth.

Your mind was telling your body to move, to get up and fight, but your heart was telling you to stay, forcing you to gaze at his complexion much too long.

“No,” you whimpered, unconsciously. Your head shook, hand grabbing onto one of the man’s large wrist that was pinning you down. “Come back. I can- We can help you.” 

You were at your wits end, fighting against a once potential number one pro hero and an unrequited love. 

He harshly ripped himself out of your grasp, spitting out, “I don’t need your help.”

That was enough for you to accept the reality of the situation. Bakugou Katsuki was long gone; Ground Zero was no longer a hero. You must protect this beloved city and its people.

Glancing at the big city hall clock, you realize you’d stalled just about the perfect amount of time for the citizens to escape, meaning all you needed to do was hold Ground Zero back a little longer to ensure he wouldn’t locate the safe house.

Running full speed at the man ahead of you, you dropped to your side, sliding between his legs and flipping up to kick him to the floor. You could hear him elicit a dark chuckle before turning over and firing his blast at you. Fortunately, you were able to hop off of him and put some distance between the two of you.

You knew both close combat and long-range combat wouldn’t work on him. He was fully equipped when it came to his quirk. You, on the other hand, preferred to depend on your combat skills, and unlike Deku, your quirk didn’t increase the amount of force or strength in your attacks.

While you were busy thinking up a plan of escape, you felt your phone vibrate in its compartment in your bodysuit. Bakugou must’ve noticed your relaxed disposition because he began to charge at you, attacking you on all sides, leaving you trapped dodging his explosions.

“I guess some measly pro hero could be a good reward to bring back in replace of their lives,” he shouted, hands bombarding your space.

Your state of mind was panicked. You didn’t know how you were going to beat him, let alone escape. Only one idea popped in your head at that moment, and oh, how you despised it. Your thoughts screamed: “It’s not going to work!” “That only works in cliches!” “Oh my god, are you stupid?” Nevertheless, you had no other plans, no other ideas.

Finding a convenient opening, you leaned in smashing your lips against his, causing him to immediately freeze in his spot. The pink, cracked lips pressed against yours felt like it was out of a fantasy. No, his lips weren’t perfect and soft like a prince in shining armor’s, but his were with meaning: a tragic story made of his life that led to that exact moment.

Pulling away, you spared him one last glance before running out of his sight. He didn’t chase after you. He couldn’t because he knew if he did, he wouldn’t want to leave your side ever again, but he didn’t want the tied down life of a “savior” or a “hero.” Besides, there’s no way he would be accepted as a hero and let roam freely after all the chaos and havoc he’d caused.

Once a villain, always a villain... at least that was what society believed.

The two of you had different destinies with the lines of dark and light. Alas, there was no in between for you to share and no way to turn back the tables called time.