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gotham--fc · 24 days

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Fever did so much better yesterday but I’ve noticed at least three that hardly pass to people that are open. We got better at staying out of foul trouble too. Hull, Smith, and Mitchell really made a difference but Mitchell is also one of those that refuses to pass to teammates that are open at times. The way that some of them like to throw their rookies under the bus is honestly fascinating to me like you all haven’t been great in years but thanks to two rookies over the course of two seasons you’ve gotten better, idk it’s almost like the rookies have ✨value✨. The three players I’m talking about also were the ones that kept trying to be cute or try hitting threes when they might hit a rare three every once in a while or trying to do back passes 🤦🏽‍♀️. They were ahead and squandered it so many times because they had players that wanted to do dumb shit. But it least we lost by 2 it’s far better than losing by 36 and 11 so we’re making progress.

As for CC and Boston I’m actually done with the hate they get they are the ones that are still less experienced than most of their teammates but their teammates like to throw them under the bus during games it seems but never criticize the other pros that led us to being down in the first place and keep missing shots.

I’m sorry are we watching the same team?? Are we watching the same game??? Is there another Fever I haven’t heard of that y’all are watching?????

I don’t want to bamboozle you about my wnba allegiance so to be clear I am a Chicago sky fan, I’ve been watching the Fever bc I want to see how Caitlin does. I’m a basketball fan in general so I’ve been watching most of the games, I’ve been trying to watch all of the rookies debuts bc I’ve gotten into college basketball this year and I want to see the players I followed in college play in the wnba

Now that that’s out of the way genuinely wtf are you talking about????

First of all you are not about to come into my inbox and talk shit about Kelsey Mitchell. Kelsey Mitchell was hurt the first 2 games, came off the bench, played limited minutes, and the team sucked. Kelsey Mitchell starts the next 3 games, and the Fever improves. It’s not that hard to see her impact.

And if you want to get into passing the ball, you have no idea what a player sees or reads on a play. A player may be open but the passer doesn’t see them, or they see them but know the pass will get intercepted, or they can’t find a passing lane, you have no idea what Kelsey Mitchell sees when she has the ball. Also, this is a game about trust. When you pass the ball you need to trust that your teammate can do something with it. And why the fuck would Mitchell trust anyone but herself? When CC and Boston either turn the ball over or miss over half their shots in what universe does Mitchell not trust herself to get a bucket over them?

Yes the team had many chances to win or close the game out and they didn’t and that’s not on individual players. I’m so sorry to be the one to break it to you but the Fever is not a good team. The Fever is playing like a team that only won 18 games over the past 2 seasons. They’re playing like a team that hasn’t made the playoffs since 2016. They are in a rebuild. They completely started over after 2016. Indiana is building a team around Aliyah Boston and Caitlin Clark. That means they’re going to suck so hard for the next couple seasons until Boston and CC get it together and they get some more pieces.

Yeah the rookies have value but they’re not god. No one comes out of college and dominates in the wnba unless you’re Candace Parker. Yeah CC was a dominate college player but all y’all are forgetting what happened to Kelsey Plum in 2019. First draft picks get shit on because everyone in the league wants to rough them up, they’re not prepared for the jump between college and the wnba, AND they have all the media and attention for being first pick if they don’t live up to expectations which again no one enters the wnba and dominates unless they’re Candace fucking Parker.

If you want to talk about players missing shots. Okay so players keep attempting 3s and missing? And who does that most often? Caitlin Clark. Caitlin Clark attempts logo 3s all the time and misses. She tries to be fancy and hit crazy shots and she misses. Let’s pull up the stats shall we?

Game 1: lost 92-71. Caitlin Clark had 11 three point attempts and 4 makes. That’s 36% efficiency. The next highest three point attempts? Nalyssa Smith with 3. Everyone else had 1 or 2 or 0 attempts.

Game 2: lost 102-66. Caitlin Clark had 7 three point attempts and 1 make. That’s 14% efficiency. The next highest was Kelsey Mitchell with 3. Everyone else 1 or 2 or 0 attempts.

Game 3: lost 91-80. Caitlin Clark had 10 three point attempts and 4 makes. That’s 40% efficiency. The next highest was Kelsey Mitchell with 8 attempts and 3 makes, so 37.5% efficiency. Everyone else had either 3 or 1 or 0 attempts.

Game 4: lost 88-84. Caitlin Clark had 7 three point attempts and 3 makes. 42.9% efficiency. Next highest was Kelsey Mitchell with 6 attempts and 2 makes, so 33% efficiency. Everyone else had 2 or 3 or 0 attempts.

Game 5: lost 85-83. Caitlin Clark had 8 three point attempts and 2 makes, 25% efficiency. Next highest was Kelsey Mitchell with 7 attempts and 2 makes so 28% efficiency.

Caitlin Clark has a 32.6% three point efficiency this season. Kelsey Mitchell has 32%. Katie Lou Samuelson and Lexie Hull are both at 50% efficiency, Kristy Wallace at 30%, Nalyssa Smith at 28.6%, and Erica Wheeler at 20%.

Please tell me which players take too many 3s and don’t hit them, because the only player who takes even close to as many as CC does is shooting them at the same efficiency as her. If you want Kelsey Mitchell to stop shooting 3s and pass more because you don’t think she hits enough, then you should want CC to do the same.

Also I want you to tell me how the players are throwing the rookies under the bus. I have yet to see any player say anything to media that isn’t positive towards the rookies, and if CC and Boston are getting cooked it’s not their teammates fault. Indiana is a bad team. The coaches and front office have set up CC and Boston as the teams saviours and if they’re getting cooked and torn apart by the media for not delivering that’s not the team’s fault. No one on Indiana can make CC or Aliyah play better.

Every other team has a roster and a bench where they can sit their rookies if they’re having a bad game or not ready. They can afford to sit their rookies and let their vets play. Seattle pulled Nika after 2 minutes in her debut because she was getting cooked. And they can do that. Indiana does not have the roster or the bench to sit CC or Boston if they’re having a bad game. They have to start and they have to play because they have to. Indiana has no choice but to play them and hope they figure it out on the court because they are building their team around them. None of the players blame CC or Boston for the team being bad they’re all aware of what team they’re on. They know they won’t contend this season. They know they won’t contend for a few seasons. But they also know if they’re going to turn the team around that it must come from their rookies, so they have to figure out how to play and how to perform and how to deliver and the team can’t afford to hold their hand and walk them to the answer.

I want to know anon how long have you watched the wnba? If you’re a Caitlin stan who’s only started watching this season for her then I don’t want you in my inbox talking about shit you don’t know anything about. If you’re new that’s great! I’m always trying to get people into the wnba, I’m happy there’s so many more fans now, but I’m not okay with these news fans talking out their ass about how everyone is being mean to their favs when everyone is treating them like they treat every rookie. Caitlin is on a bad team and they’re not going to get better. The curse of going first is you end up last, and the Fever are going to suck until they don’t and CC or Boston or anyone else on the team will not change that.

#asks #anonymous #y’all will not play with me with the wnba #this is the one time that I will admit I know more than you

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help-im-a-gay-fish · 3 years

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Okay I had to do some stuff, but here I am rambling about relationship between Killer and Nightmare in Colours of LOVE.

Some of this I might mention before some of it might be your and Jann or Yuri ideas... Anyway!! The way I see that:

Even though this is soulmate au Nightmare and Killer aren't perfect fit for eachother. They are perfect fit in threesome - Ccino softens rough edges of both of them, and changes their attention from being mad on eachother to carrying about Ccino together (especially at first when he is really depressed). But before that... It was hard.

Killer is really open about everything he thinks and feels. If he founds someone who is attractive he will flirt. Even when he is already dating Nightmare. And also he always shows his affection to Nightmare everywhere, in public too. That's cute and sweet, but Nightmare is really closed person so that makes him really uncomfortable. Night often got jealous with Killer flirting with anyone else, got embarrassed with his kisses and all on public, and in general is a bit annoyed with Killer's actions. Killer on the other hand doesn't really understand why Nightmare is so "tensed" (he is not, Night is just much more calm, but Killer don't get it).

They were braking up and coming back again a few times, because they had argued a lot about everything and got tired of this. Right now they are on their "best days" - they started to date again a few weeks ago and right now they are through some stuff, they understand eachother better, and pretty chill about eachother weird actions. Like in the second page Night is a bit flustered by Killer's kiss but he almost used to that. Same as he is worried about being late, since Killer is almost always late, but he is more or less fine by that. On next page (which you haven't seen yet), there are an interesting dialog between them, and I will definitely write some of "subtext" about it when I will post it.

Actually if they haven't met Ccino they would break up again after a few months. And maybe come back again after a week.

Also! Interesting thing about third soulmate: at the beginning of the comic (before Nigh met Ccino) Killer is 100% sure that they have third soulmate, but Nightmare is sure for about 60%. Killer is existed about that, he knew knew that he is polyamorious for a long time, but Nightmare hesitates a lot, because he can't really imagine himself in polyam relationship. It feels weird and also he is soooooo jealous about Killer paying any attention to anyone except him, that he worries to become "third wheel". Will it be different with Ccino?? Who knows (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Hi kotikaleo!!! This was super fun to read.

Firstly I'm going to tag @zu-is-here since she started the studio verse

It's definitely an interesting insight to your comic and the characters!

It reminds me a lot of an early version of my own ideas about the studio verse nightkiller relationship! And I can definitely see the way we have bounced headcannons of each other paying off.

Them still dealing with a softer kind of lovehate dynamic is an interesting one. It doesn't seem to be as extreme as my version, but it's interesting that it's still there.

The fact that they are meant to work as a 3 makes sense as well. If they are supposed to be bounded as a 3 it makes sense that three they their relationship would be unstable. They don't work as a two, but they are soul mates and something would always pull the two of them together.

I'm also curious, since Nightmare isn't 100% sure that the lack of colour is due to them being soul mated to another person. I wonder if he ever felt like the universe got it wrong? And that he'd been mated to the wrong person? Or perhaps he felt it meant that him and Killer don't have soul mates and that's why they have some connections.

It sad boy.

Also if Killer knows he's poly by nature, is that something that causes disagreements with the 2 of them?

And now for mine and @jann-the-bean version.

This story has been something that we mostly developed in tumbler DMs but both me and Jan wrote a story about it. Jan wrote

KillerNight(s)

And I'm writing

Round and round till we all fall down

Nightmare and Killer's relationship started off baddddd, it basically started as a mutual dislike for one another. This is due to their conflicting personalities and morals.

Nightmare was originally quite excited to meet Killer, as he'd heard a lot about the actor. But almost straight away he found Killer to be rude, childish and irritating. Killer found Nightmare to be stuck up, snobbish and entitled.

The two first met at an awards ceremony and got into a yelling match after a few drinks and were separated. From there their dislike for one another was made quite well known to the public because of a social media battle back and forth.

This only went on for a few months however, as the characters of 'Killer' and 'Nightmare' were cast to play together.

Nightmare and Killer agreed to be civil in order to function while working and get the filming completed as soon as possible.

As they worked together, their dislike turned into a playful banter and respect for one another. And then something else shifted.

Now Killer has a reputation for being a player and one who likes to sleep around, as you said, he's open about his interest in people when he has it and enjoys casually flirting with just about anyone.

Which came to include Nightmare.

Nightmare paid no mind to it really, though he couldn't understand why it embarrassed him so much.

Killer comes to find Nightmare to be very attractive and enjoys his reactions when teased, he rights him off though because he was under the impression that Nightmare was straight, and he'd never try to change that.

It was a day when they were talking about Killer's eyes and how it's caused him to struggle, that Nightmare tells him that he thinks his eyes are very pretty and that they are an attractive quality, and something in Killer breaks and he kisses him.

So Killer feels like he messed up and the two avoid each other. But it causes Nightmare to start questioning things about himself.

Nightmare at this point had only every dated women. He assumed that he was straight. But after that kiss a lot of buried feelings are dragged to the surface and exposed, and he realises that he's also attracted to men.

So Jan goes into full details about this, in the fic Killernights, but basically Nightmare confronts Killer about the kiss and Killer tells him he 'has a thing for him'

The two go back to Killer's flat to talk, but their normal banter, leads to flirting and then another kiss. And Nightmare who is curious and suddenly craving new sensations becomes lost to him. Killer who finds Nightmare physically very attractive, also gets wrapped up and the two of them sleep together.

Nowwww this is getting long so I'll try to shorten it down a bit.

Basically, it's an amazing night. It's passionate, enjoyable and a lot of fun for both of them. Upon finding out Night has never been with a man, Killer guides him carefully though the process.

After that night the two can't stop thinking about each other, even though they both planned for it to be a one time thing. Again, they avoided each other until talking after a while.

And killer admits his desires for the other, and offers Nightmare a safe environment to experiment with his sexuality, where he won't be judged.

To cut a long story short, this spirals into a passionate and carnal, on and off booty call/fling with each other that spans for years.

Other that time they grow very close with each other, and come to recognise the similarities that they share, and have soft moments of just enjoying being together with one another.

For Killer, Nightmare is the first person to ever tell him he had beautiful eyes and mean it. The first person who wasn't at all put off by them.

To Nightmare, it feels like Killer is the one person that will never pick Dream over him. And he makes him feel wanted and desirable in a way few have before.

However, their are still parts of their relationship that conflict. Of course a healthy relationship will always have some conflicts. But for Killer and Nightmare the conflicts clash and fight with each other.

That along with both of their past traumas, (I wrote about Killer's back story here) means they find it difficult to talk about genuine feelings and what's bothering them. Causing things to bottle up and blow up over time.

They also find it impossible to admit that they actually love each other deeply.

They tried to be in a full on committed relationship once, (which I'm writing about in Round and Round) but it didn't work out for these issues. As well as the fact that Killer is poly by nature, and therefore gets anxious and uncomfortable in a relationship with one person only. Which he won't talk to Night about for the reasons stated above.

Enter Ccino.

Now Ccino is the missing piece for Nightmare and Killer.

He's soft and gentle spoken, which easily helps them calm down when things get heated between them. He also provides a safe and loving space to open up about what things are bothering them.

Nightmare and Killer's also, as you said, spend more energy caring for and sometimes worrying about Ccino, so they have less energy for the constant fighting.

Ccino was the missing piece. He's the person who will cuddle and read books with nightmare, but also the one who's super into affection, which Killer loveesss.

A relationship would never work between just killer and Ccino, since Ccino wouldn't be able to keep up with Killer's libido and killer doesn't know much about Ccino's mental health. And Ccino wouldn't work in a relationship with just Nightmare because Night's colder and more straight forward personality would leave him affection staved after a while.

They just work together! They are basically soul mates in this universe as well!

P. S Nightmare in this universe was also very veryyyyy jealous when Killer showed interest in Ccino. Which is something he took out on Ccino till Killer stopped it. After falling in love with Marshmallow he regrets this a lot.

I'M SO EXCITED FOR MORE. COLOURS OF LOVEEEEE

#undertale au #shipping #undertale multiverse #sansest #fluffynightkiller #fluffynight #Nightkiller #studio verse #studioverse #studio au #studio versions #studio #Fluffynightkiller #ccillermare #Colours of love #headcannons #Headcannon

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stomp-that-ho-regard · 3 years

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Retcon

noun

(in a film, television series, or other fictional work) a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

verb

revise (an aspect of a fictional work) retrospectively, typically by introducing a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events.

Retroactive Continuity

Reframing past events to serve a current plot need. [...] In its most basic form, this is any plot point that was not intended from the beginning. [...]

Post-hiatus C2, and the Great Retcon...

(The retconning really started with the playlists, but we’ll come back to those.)

First, some context:

SDCC (July ‘18) - Marisha was asked directly about Beau and Yasha and if she and Ashley had discussed it. “After the first few times that I kinda put the moves on her, we were at break, and I could sense that Ashley was wanting to ask me something. And she was like, ‘Hey, I’m just curious... is Beau- ’ And at that exact moment someone’s like, ‘Yo Ashley! We gotta go! We gotta get on stage!’ And I was like, ‘Bye!’” Then Brian asked, “And you haven’t had a further conversation about it?” Marisha said, “Nope!”

(Seven months into the campaign, and no discussions. Hmm.)

NYCC (Oct. ‘18) - Marisha was asked about who would Beau get flustered over if they ever flirted back, and yes, she said Yasha and laughed, but then said, “It’s like throwing pebbles at a brick wall.” Meaning, she was putting stuff out there and not getting anything back. (And, she really wasn’t. I still remember when a major portion of the fandom, including the diehard shippers [of which I was one at the time], weren’t sure if Ashley was even interested in this. More than that, it wasn’t until the Zuala reveal, that the fandom and the players found out for certain that Yasha was actually into women.)

(To me, Marisha’s answer here also suggests that at this point, there were still no discussions.)

Talks Machina for ep61 (May ‘19) - Marisha was asked ‘What was going through Beau's mind when Yasha revealed her past with Zuala? Has this changed any feelings Beau might have? Or has Beau's character growth allowed her to mature a little more with regards to her feelings about Yasha?’ Which Marisha instantly pegged as a shipping question. And she said, “I’m trying to figure out a way to answer this to not ruin everyone’s internal canon, in their brains. I don’t want people to overestimate Beau’s intentions towards Yasha. But then also, is that on me? Have I been leading everybody on?”

So, you had all of that, all the way up to ep61.

None of this indicates that ‘it’s been happening since ep1′ or that it’s ‘the slowest of slow burns.’ In fact, it shuts that down completely.

Moving forward to the Beau and Fjord convo (ep108)...

Marisha suddenly having Beau say “There was something about Yasha from the moment that I saw her”. She’s retrospectively attempting to give that moment more weight, when (based on the examples above) we know that the over-the-top flirting was just for fun. And truthfully, she really wasn’t flirting with Yasha any differently than she was flirting with any hot female NPC the party crossed paths with.

And now it’s clear that that one line she said is the reason why BY shippers have suddenly clung on to the idea that “It’s been happening since episode one! SLOooOowBuUuuUrn!!!!!” when its clear that it was not planned. (Not before the hiatus-from-hell, anyway.)

Then Marisha having Beau go from describing Jester as “She's fun. She makes me laugh. I like her ridiculous plans. I think she's complicated and layered.” to “It’s easy to lust after her”. I’ll direct you to Talks for ep85. After Marisha had mentioned that it was a bunch of little things that build, and then pinpointed a few of them, Brian tried to make a joke and said “So you’re saying it’s been more a series, than just one moment that you can point to and say ‘It was right here when I went, let’s fuck!’” Marisha specifically countered that with “It’s not even about 'let’s fuck’. It’s nothing sexual in this case.” (Having her backpedal on this so heavily was such a huge gut punch and was the thing that wholly soured everything for me.)

There were so many better, more delicate ways Marisha could’ve had Beau examine/come to grips with her feelings for both women, but all the reduction and saying they were ‘transferable’ was nothing short of insulting.

On that same Talks episode, Marisha also said this: “Going into this campaign all of us were like, ‘No relationships!’ I didn’t want it! I didn’t ask for this!”, while smiling. What this shows me is that she was thinking of a relationship in regards to Beau’s feelings for Jester. As if she was maybe even anticipating this culminating into something? Why even mention relationships at all if this was nothing serious and was always meant to fall by the wayside?

Brian then followed up with, “In my opinion, as a viewer, Beau’s someone who seems to be on the search for innocence. Whether innocence lost or just innocence in general. And to me it makes sense that you would be attracted to someone who exudes genuine and sort of intrinsic innocence.” Marisha replied with “Fairly astute.”

The next question was, ‘Beau has taken a pretty casual, no-strings-attached approach toward sex and relationships so far. How do her feelings for Jester compare to her previous romantic flings?’ Marisha answered immediately and very seriously with, “Noncomparable. It’s more than that.” She wasn’t playing coy and it didn’t take her a century to find the words. She didn’t even have to think about it. Succinct and direct.

How did all of that ‘organically’ disappear completely, after only 14 episodes?

(Everything felt more genuine back then, because it seemed like Marisha was going where the character was taking her, and not where she thought the character should be going.)

Post-hiatus, everyone and their mother are acting like BY is some epic romance-of-the-ages that was all mapped out, and like Beau having feelings for Jester was just some sort of temporary curveball. That Beau was confused, or was just missing Yasha and projected onto Jester.

That’s really fucked up no matter how you try to justify it. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen another piece of media backpedal this hard, and this callously.

None of that squares with what we were shown or with what we were told. Until, everybody made a hard pivot and now they've done (and continue to) do everything they can to rewrite campaign history, even though we have plenty of footage that contradicts the new ‘company line’.

Now, where the retconning truly began, with the playlists...

Remember the first round of playlists? Those were released randomly, whenever the cast felt like posting them. I also don’t remember there being announcements every time one came out either.

This time though, they had a fixed schedule, complete with official twitter announcements. As they started to just get back into the swing of things, Yasha’s playlist was released right after the first episode back.

So, right out of the gate, they had to make sure they started to drill home a certain mindset for viewers. That’s why Yasha had a song called ‘Let Me Hold You’. (Lo and behold, a few episodes in, Beau randomly asks Yasha to hold her.) A few weeks later, Beau’s playlist was released, and there was a song with the caption saying ‘Ultimately, all she really wants is someone to hold, and someone to hold her’. (But sure, no planning here! The wording is just a total coincidence, folks!)

The other song, directly about Yasha, mentions ‘a crush forged in battle’ (ok), and ‘awkward flirtations’ (???). Yasha never openly flirted with Beau before the hiatus, until maybe right after the Obann arc, in a very vague way.

On Beau’s playlist, there’s nothing about Jester. The one track that mentions her is actually about Artagan. Which, after all they’ve been through together, is fucking ridiculous no matter how you slice it.

In addition to that, Marisha had made Beau’s time in Kamordah (ep92/e93), and the incidents with her family and the Hag, about the group now, not about Jester, fully contradicting her own reiterated words that ‘Jester saved Beau’.

When Beau was talking to her dad, reverting back to her old self and getting all riled up, Jester helped her in that moment, and saved her. Yes, the group was very supportive, and yes, Yasha said something to him before they left the house (that Beau was out of earshot for by the way), but Jester was Beau’s rock throughout that whole thing.

With the Hag, when the group was having a hard time coming up with a solution, and they realized they might actually lose Beau, Jester stepped up and took control of the situation. She, single-handedly, saved Beau/the group from the Hag. And with that, Jester also became Beau’s hero.

In both instances, Marisha thanked Laura/Jester. First on Talks for ep92 with both of them on it. She reiterated, “You saved me. You saved Beau.” Then on Twitter after ep93 with, “Still processing last night. Saved by a cupcake? Eh - saved by @LauraBaileyVO ... again.”

But now suddenly, it’s the group. Just the group?

Now, don’t get me wrong. The entire party showing Beau support was incredibly important. The M9 showed her that they value her, that she’s important to them. It solidified the theme of ‘found family’, which was beautiful. But, to not also highlight how crucial Jester was in all of this, after making such a big deal about it?

That is very deliberate retconning of some hugely important, highly emotional moments for Beau that directly involved Jester.

Any of Beau’s organic and genuine connection with Jester (which encompasses their deep friendship as well as Beau’s romantic feelings) has been massively reduced (and now erased), specifically to prop up a supposed ‘deep’ connection with someone else that was barely ever there, is still barely there, and has no actual depth at all.

Case in point, the BY date (ep126) showcased this fact to the most extreme degree...

Yasha’s infamous line: “I fell in love with you in Kamordah.” So, Yasha literally watched Beau relive her childhood trauma, and caught feelings during it. I’m not wrong in thinking that that’s just a little disturbing, am I? Also, if that’s the moment she supposedly fell for her, why did she not offer her any form of help? I mean, besides that one sweet moment with TJ, the entire time Beau was in Kamordah, she was the most broken down she’d ever been and needed some real comfort, which is something Yasha did not give her. (Jester did though. In spades.)

So, on multiple levels, this seems highly out-of-place.

Several people have said that that line was not thought through. In my opinion, it actually was thought through and was only said specifically to have viewers completely dismiss everything else that happened in the Kamordah episodes. Despite the FACT that Beau and Yasha barely interacted during those episodes, they have now stripped down the party’s experience there, and twisted it into a giant BY shipping moment. (Further feeding into the retcon.)

Their ‘trip down memory lane’ was laughable. Most of the things that were mentioned, Yasha wasn’t even around for.

Gee, remember when the cast was actually good at separating what they knew from what their character knew? When you start injecting what you know into your character (who isn’t supposed to know, because they literally were not physically there), you are metagaming.

The entire date was one big metagaming bonanza. And it had to be, or else they would’ve had nothing to talk about. There is not one thing they have to call their own. To people who don’t have BY tunnel vision, it was made glaringly obvious that they have nothing in common and their dynamic is fairly shallow. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast are sitting there watching this unfold, smiling and nodding along as if it all makes perfect sense and isn’t utterly ridiculous. (And I’m sitting here wondering when I got shunted into the Twilight Zone.)

The shallowness holds true for FJ as well. Aside from both of them being from the Menagerie Coast, what exactly do they have in common?

While Fjord has grown as a character, as far as Jester goes, he still does not seem to have the capacity to fully understand her as a person, or fully respect her abilities/emotional strength/intelligence. He doubted her often, which led to Jester getting irritated with him several times over the course of at least the last third of the pre-hiatus episodes. He even continued to doubt her judgment (in regards to the Traveler) in the post-hiatus Rumblecusp episodes. But hey, they’ve kissed now (ep118) so all of that gets wiped clean, and he’s being touted as her ultimate romantic soulmate who’s oh-so-perfect for her.

For fuck’s sake, why does that sound like something pulled right out of a CW show?

(I'm convinced that the only reason FJ is ‘popular’ is because the shippers have projected Travis and Laura’s real-life marriage onto the characters. If Fjord and Jester were played by different people, or Travis and Laura were not together, people would realize how paper-thin and half-assed this pairing is and hardly anyone would care about it.)

Beau and Jester had developed the deepest, most genuine friendship and overall dynamic in the entire party, that should have absolutely been given the chance to be explored further. They constructed a pretty solid foundation that could have easily been built upon, and the fact that it’s been unceremoniously pulverized and snuffed out in favor of such overwhelming tepidity and flavorlessness will never not infuriate me.

Finally, to finish this off, I will say with my whole chest, that that is one of many nasty, rotten patterns that I’ve seen far too much of in all kinds of scripted media, which is...

Not wanting to commit to the thing that’s actually growing organically, because it’ll ruffle too many feathers. It’s too inconvenient. It gets in the way. Because of course, nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to take a risk, or you know, actually follow where the natural fucking chemistry is taking you. Of course not! Heaven forbid, we go down a different road! You have to go with what’s ‘expected’, no matter what, at the great expense of something new that’s come along that’s clearly better. Even when what’s expected is hollow as fuck and doesn’t make sense anymore, because characters have grown and dynamics have changed, they decide to dig their heels in with the most fanservice-y options instead.

Yet this is UNSCRIPTED media. A D&D campaign, that’s supposed to be mostly improvised. D&D, that’s all about taking chances/going with your gut/making bold choices/etc., from people who have claimed up and down that they “like to see things play out at the table”.

So why are those same disingenuous patterns being utilized here too?

One of the big reasons I got into CR was because I naively believed that because the format was different, that the storytelling would be different. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about running into this nonsense here. That I wouldn’t have to worry about getting bullshitted, jerked around, and having my intelligence insulted left and right, but alas, here we are.

In conclusion... [TL;DR, kinda?]

Reframing past events (between B & J, and B & Y) to serve a current plot need (railroading BY):

Beau playlist ignores Jester’s importance to what transpired in Kamordah. (minimizing/erasure)

Beau playlist doesn’t acknowledge/hint at Beau’s feelings for Jester. (total erasure. could have at least included a song about feelings being lost, or being confused about feelings for a friend, but Marisha took the cowardly route, and didn’t bother mentioning it at all.)

Beau playlist claims that Beau and Yasha have both been flirting forever. (easily debunked by session footage.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “There was something about Yasha from the moment I saw her”. (it was just about hooking up then, and stayed that way for a majority of the campaign. This line suggests that Beau has had ‘deeper feelings’ for and/or has been ‘in love’ with Yasha since the first episode, that this was all intentional build-up, which again, is easily debunked by session footage, panels, and TM.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “It’s easy to lust after her.” (minimizing/erasure/twisting of Beau’s feelings for Jester, which Marisha had previously stated were ‘noncomparable’ , ‘more than that’, and that her attraction is ‘nothing sexual in this case.’)

This isn’t a fucking conspiracy theory. This is plain evidence of a planned retcon.

#op #super long post #uber rant #happy thursday! ;)#beaujester #i wrote this up back in december but didn't have the energy to finish it until now #it got longer as i went #guess i still have a lot of bitching left in me lol #that's what happens when you feel like you've been getting kicked in the teeth for nine months

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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 3 years

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The Voyage So Far: Alabasta (Part Two)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

crocodile is one of my favorite villains in one piece for a number of reasons, and one of them is because he’s such a threat, the first real one faced in the grand line and one of the toughest in all of paradise. the villains from the arcs before this, like wapol or the agents from little garden, could barely even land a hit on luffy in actual combat. so crocodile is introduced here as an absolute force of nature, a complete contrast to recent villains and a very tangible threat.

it’s an impression he very much lives up to later in the arc by crushing luffy not once but twice, which only makes luffy’s ultimate hard-won triumph feel all the better. luffy closes a huge gap over the course of alabasta in order to be able to beat crocodile, and giving us a sense of just how strong he is from the very start gives luffy clawing his way up to that level a lot more weight.

the successive reveals of luffy’s family never fail to absolutely delight me, because in any other series they would almost certainly feel contrived, but knowing luffy, it is absolutely unsurprising he just never happened to mention his relatives. nobody asked! luffy’s unique brand of honesty is one of my favorite character quirks, because he’s very straightforward and in fact can’t lie for shit, but his priorities are so completely off the wall that he winds up omitting highly relevant information completely by accident.

ace’s scene in alabasta really does impress me. oda’s said in an sbs that he knew ace’s fate from his introduction, which i find absolutely unsurprising given the intricacy of his story planning. that means he needed ace’s introduction to make him both likable and memorable enough in the space of just a couple chapters that the audience would be engaged when he became the focus of the story a couple hundred chapters on despite barely appearing at all in the intervening time, and he really succeeded.

kohza is one of my favorite minor characters in the whole series, and i think he’s a big part of why alabasta’s civil war plotline works so well and feels so real. nobody on either side of the war actually wants to fight, but everyone has been driven to such desperation that they feel they have no other choice in order to save their country; and kohza exemplifies that. he's a good person who loves his country a lot, and who genuinely likes and cares about the royal family and vivi especially, and the only option he can see to save alabasta is terrible, but there’s nothing else he can do.

it’s just fun for me to think about the fact that if crocodile was literally anything other than a very skilled logia, vivi would have ended the whole entire arc right here.

i really like civil war storylines when they’re well-done, and i think alabasta is one of the best ones i’ve seen in media. most of it is down to what i mentioned earlier, about how nobody on either side actually wants to fight but feels like they have no choice but to. nobody here is actually in the wrong except for crocodile, and so until crocodile is defeated, nothing can be fixed- which is what luffy, of all people, is the one to realize.

sanji’s mr. prince gambit is probably my single favorite part of alabasta, and i think one of the reasons i like it so much is because he basically beats crocodile at his own game. crocodile is terrifying in battle, but before anything else he’s a manipulator. he’s always working from the shadows, always deceiving people doing what he wants, and sanji manages to turn the tables on him and do the exact same back to him, twice.

also sanji looks great in glasses

smoker and tashigi both get kind of unfortunately sidelined after this saga, but they’re both really great characters in alabasta. (tashigi especially; i’ll get to her later.) much like the rebel army, they’re good people trying to do the right thing in the tangled mess of tension and politics and resentment that is alabasta- and when that means working with pirates, they’ll buckle down and do it, despite how much it might contradict their worldviews.

i love when events align in one piece so that people who don’t particularly like the strawhats wind up working with them for some common goal (as seen most prominently in impel down), and smoker and tashigi in alabasta are the first and still one of the best examples of that.

the entirety of luffy versus crocodile round one is so well done. we’re a hundred and fifty chapters in, and although luffy has struggled in fights before now and then, we get the sense he hasn’t ever really been pushed to the brink, and he’s certainly never lost.

and then he does, completely and absolutely, without ever even landing a hit on his opponent, and it hits like a punch.

oda seems to be a fan of characters just barely missing each other- the similar panel of robin and olvia running past each other from robin’s flashback comes to mind.

i’ve always liked that of all the strawhats, it’s usopp who gets the first “luffy is going to be king of the pirates” moment. they’ve all said it by the current chapters in wano (with the sole exception of robin, i believe), but usopp said it first, and that feels significant to me. he’s always been the one who feels the least secure in his place on the crew, but even so, he has so much faith in luffy.

nami’s fight with miss doublefinger is pretty silly in places and i think it gets frequently (understandably, it must be said) overshadowed by zoro’s fight with mr. 1 directly afterwards, but i really like it nonetheless. it’s nami’s first real solo fight in the whole series, and once she finds her feet she kicks ass, and i really like that. it feels like a very satisfying development for her, to stand up and risk her life in direct combat for vivi’s sake.

we’re now almost a thousand chapters in and its my firm belief that zoro versus mr. 1 is still one of the best fights in the entire series. i definitely think it’s probably zoro’s best fight- only his match with kaku compares. the narrative build over the course of the fight, from zoro struggling just to match mr. 1 (and getting shredded to pieces in the process) to cutting him down in one final stroke, is incredibly cool and satisfying to watch. it feels like a very tangible step forward for zoro in terms of ability, like a massive obstacle has been surmounted and, as he himself says, he’s now stronger for it.

its also very cool that this is, i believe, the first appearance of what is probably observation haki, though it isn’t named or recognized as such. i’m always endlessly impressed by all the little moments of internal consistency that oda manages to sprinkle into his story.

there’s barely any dialogue on these entire two pages, from crocodile dropping vivi to luffy and pell swooping in- the story is briefly told entirely through visuals- and i love that. it gives the impression of a single tense, frozen moment as vivi falls, which is then broken in spectacular fashion when luffy catches her.

i really, really like the progression that runs through all three of luffy’s fights with crocodile. the gap between them goes from being impossible, with luffy unable to even land a hit and crocodile basically toying with him; to surmountable but still huge, with luffy able to land some hits but still outclassed; to finally putting them on basically even ground. and every inch of that growth on luffy’s part is hard-fought and hard-won and well-deserved.

crocodile’s confidence in his abilities isn’t misplaced- he genuinely is that powerful. but if there’s anything we know about luffy by now, it’s that he doesn’t ever give up. it’s very fun to watch crocodile’s dismissiveness turn into disbelief turn into rage and frustration when luffy just won’t die.

luffy is, additionally, pretty clearly a better brawler than crocodile (which makes sense, crocodile is clearly used to devastating long-range attacks with his powers while luffy grew up fighting giant wildlife with his bare hands), which means that by the time of their last fight, where they’re just whaling on each other in the catacombs and crocodile is starting to get sloppy and desperate and lose control, if anything it’s luffy who has the upper hand.

zoro and sanji’s dynamic is always a favorite of mine, and one of the things i like best about them is how perfectly in sync they always manage to be when it comes to things that actually matter, despite fighting like cats and dogs pretty much every other time. i’ll never understand people who think they genuinely aren’t friends.

tashigi is really good in alabasta, okay. she essentially has her own entire character growth arc. she goes from her stance in loguetown, where she isn’t even tolerant of (fully legal!) bounty hunters, to here, where she’s forced to confront that the world isn’t nearly as black and white as she’s always believed it to be, that sometimes pirates are good and allies of the government are bad, and ultimately makes the right choice to help the strawhats even though it clearly pains and frustrates her that she can’t do anything more herself.

i’ll be forever mad that her only really significant appearance after this in punk hazard didn’t really live up to what her character deserved.

i really like how the countdown sequence is done. the tension is ratcheting up and up and up as the clock ticks down in the final seconds, panels cutting all over the city to show all the different characters, everyone who’s caught up in this conflict and everyone who’ll die if the cannon fires-

and then the clock hits zero, and we get this panel that’s just... quiet, after all the madness, as we see how vivi stopped the detonation. i think oda is very good at setting up his pages so they have a flow to them, so no matter how quickly you actually read sometimes things feel like they’re going very fast and all happening at once and then it slows down and gives the reader a chance to breathe, if only to speed up again later. i think oda is really good at pacing in general, really, both on a micro level like this and on a larger scale.

luffy’s greatest strength isn’t really his strength. he’s strong, absolutely, but that’s not really why he wins the fights he shouldn’t win. he wins because he just doesn’t fucking stay down. his fight with katakuri is probably the best example of this, because katakuri has him beat in pretty much every category except sheer endurance, and there as here, it’s that endurance that winds up getting luffy the win in the end.

i do love that it’s the rain that ends the war. not the explosion and pell’s sacrifice, not vivi’s pleading, not even luffy kicking crocodile into the stratosphere, but the rain, the thing alabasta’s been missing for too long, the thing crocodile stole, the only thing all these people are fighting over.

it’s crocodile’s symbolic defeat- at the same moment his power is broken by luffy, the stranglehold of dehydration he’s been using to foment war and rebellion is all at once gone, and he’s left with nothing at all, and alabasta can finally find peace and start to heal again.

i always love the little moments that show, usually without words, just how much the strawhats love each other, and all of them unanimously waiting until vivi is out of sight to collapse so that she won’t worry, won’t see how ragged they ran themselves for their sake, is definitely one of them.

i adore vivi’s sendoff, because while its sad she has to go, the certainty that someday they’ll meet again and that even if not they’ll always be crew manages to make this scene endlessly hopeful instead (which, i think, is also a good summary of one piece’s tone as a whole, at least in its more serious moments). luffy never says goodbye, after all, and nobody ever really leaves the strawhat pirates.

i’m really looking forward to vivi’s re-entry to the story. i really, really want to see her reunion with the strawhats.

hey look, it’s the panel my profile picture is from!

the mystery surrounding robin and her past is built up in little ways long before enies lobby, from her harsh reaction when confronted with by tashigi to her aversion to being called by her given name to this flashback, of her talking to cobra about her dream. of them, the latter is my favorite, because i think it’s probably the most sincere she is until enies lobby- which makes sense, given she thinks she’s about to die.

like many things about robin in alabasta, this gets cast in a new light by her backstory. if she dies here, so too does the entire legacy of ohara- but she’s so beaten down and hopeless that she really doesn’t see any light ahead to strive for. there’s no hope left, for her, and the whole world against her.

and then there’s luffy, who creates hope everywhere he goes, who makes her live anyways.

this is a hell of a spread to hook us very effectively right into the sky island saga. it’s a perfect reminder of just how much we still don’t know about all the endless mysteries of the grand line, and just how many adventures are still yet to be had.

#the voyage so far #arc: alabasta #one piece #opmeta #not japanese #long post

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freckledbodty · 3 years

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Stripping Away The Bloat - The Umibe No Etranger Movie Did The Manga Dirty

I finally got around to watching the movie of Umibe no Etranger - a movie I didn’t know existed based on one of my old favourite BL mangas. And oh boy, does this adaptation reflect a painful trend in manga to anime/movie adaptations overall. Allow me a moment to rant, if you will...

TL;DR: READ THE MANGA BY THE LOVE OF GOD IT’S WONDERFUL. Also the movie is super pretty, but here’s a semi-detailed look at why it still really didn’t do the manga justice. You bet I came with receipts.

A few important notes before you start:

1. Remember this is just my opinion, and I’d love to hear other people’s point of view on the matter, whether you agree or disagree!

2. I am not fluent enough in Japanese to read the original without a translation, so my thoughts on the manga are coming from fan translations, which 100% might have affected how I view this! The anime I’m a little more sure on as I can generally tell when the subtitles have deviated, but that does mean I may have missed something/something was lost in translation that means something I say here is incorrect. I’m very sorry for this, so remember this is my view based on the media types I’ve consumed.

3. Also the manga cuttings I use are not the best quality because of tumblr’s sizing, so even more of a reason to go read the books yourself!

I’m aware I’m very late to this party, but when I saw the other day that this movie had been made, I was horrified that I hadn’t known about it sooner. I read the manga years ago, and adored it - it’s genuinely a sweet and beautifully drawn romance, and I’d highly recommend it to anyone. With that, however, the movie was a huge disappointment to me and I just need to have a moment to gush in a less than positive way.

The Pros:

Let’s get this out of the way, I’d still probably recommend this movie to anyone who likes romance anime-style movies. It’s beautifully animated. Seriously, this movie is stunning, with wonderful expressions, bright colours, and a pretty well suited soundtrack too. The animation tries to match the original art style of the manga, and frankly, I think it captures it perfectly. 10/10. Gorgeous. Watch it just for the prettiness.

I’m also a big fan of any BL/GL adaptations that get a little more into the mainstream. This movie is definitely a huge win in terms of representation, especially when the manga (on the whole) avoided the more negative tropes that the BL/GL genres have historically been known for. (More on that later...) So that’s a win, and I will take it.

The Bloat Cut:

To put it simply, this movie fell into the trap of what I call (in my head) ‘cutting out the bloat’. As a long-time anime and manga fan, who has seen countless adaptations over the years, it’s a common theme that tends to make or break an anime.

‘Cutting out the bloat’ to me means that the adaptors cut out a lot of the ‘smaller’ moments and panels that are seen in a manga. This movie was thankfully very good at following the original plot and took us through the same beats that the manga did (many adaptations don’t bother doing that at all), but they left out a lot of the extra stuff - the aforementioned ‘bloat’.

The bloat isn’t really bloat in that it is pointless, however: the problem is that these little moments and scenes are seen to be pointless by the adaptors. Again, understandable: they have a limited run time, and it’s hard to include every little tiny moment, especially when they are ones that are easily scanned passed. Some bloat cutting is necessary to make an adaptation viable at all, but sometimes, it can be hugely detrimental to the piece. Umibe no Etranger is a key example of this.

Setting:

I watched this movie without rereading the manga, and as such, I was quickly thrown off by how bad the movie was. This was one of my favourite mangas, wasn’t it? Had I really had such terrible taste? (Yes, let’s not go there, but this manga was not one of my high-school bad decisions).

The characters felt strange. Personalities did complete 180s after the time skip and did some questionable things that I couldn’t recall finding issue with when I read the manga. The two main characters felt so hot and cold that it didn’t feel like the story I remembered. Even the pacing felt off and janky at times.

After watching, I went back and reread the manga, and this is where I saw all the ‘bloat’, the little intricate moments and minor panels that were easy to overlook but made the story what it was. Here’s a few of the biggest examples I could find.

Shun:

Oh, Shun. What did they do to you?

Shun’s character was bizarre. In the first 15 minutes of the movie, he was bubbly, friendly, and even bold enough to flirt with Mio. After the time skip, he was sour, cold, and completely withdrawn from the world. I understood Mio’s confusion because after the time jump he was a completely different character.

The manga is often focused on Shun and his inner thoughts, and he’s the one who is hurt the most by the bloat cutting. For starters, he wasn’t as over-the-top friendly at the start of the manga as he was in the anime, and we’re able to see his inner thoughts and worries that cause his reservations from the first few pages we meet him. We also get more hints earlier on as to Shun’s past that explain a lot of his behaviour as a whole, as well as getting little hints as to why he’s even more negative and exhausted after the time jump.

Mio:

The biggest bloat cut out in terms of Mio is the big plot point of the phone call. For context, before leaving for the time skip, Mio promises to call Shun once he’s gotten to his new home. In the movie, this is never really brought up again, focusing on the relationship in the present, but this was a huge point to leave out. I think it was cut out because it was explained in one short scene in the manga, and therefore easily mistaken for bloat.

In the manga, it’s explained that Mio does call, but it’s Eri who answers, and there’s a very important conversation that sets up Mio’s whole character development and explains why he returns to the island set on having a relationship with Shun. Eri warns him that calling Shun, despite knowing that Shun has feelings for him, is cruel and unfair, and tells Mio he shouldn’t contact him unless he’s worked out his feelings. It’s a great scene, and a real shame to leave out when it explains firstly why Mio never called back, and secondly why he is so adamant about his feelings and love for Shun when he does finally return: because he saw Eri’s warning to mean ‘don’t come back unless you are serious’.

Relationship:

In the movie, Mio and Shun didn’t really seem to have a relationship until the drama kicked up and then it quickly seem to disappear again. Shun was extremely held back and reserved, and barely ever seemed to return Mio’s feelings (even in the scenes he was instigating) - he even totally avoided anything resembling physical contact at first.

Compare this to the manga, where there are little hints of their relationship progressing throughout the chapters. For one, Shun is never as cold and blank as he seems in the film, and when he does seem that way, the manga quickly shows a glimpse of his thoughts to explain how he’s exhausted or distracted - without those little bloated thought bubbles, he just seems... a little cruel frankly.

A really good example of this is the beach kiss scene. In the movie, as Mio is about to kiss him, Shun suddenly announces that he’s hungry and avoids the kiss altogether, leaving Mio confused.

In the manga, they actually do kiss - it’s their first kiss, in fact. Shun seems embarrassed and his ‘I’m hungry’ feels like more of a way to distract them both. He explains he’s exhausted (which is fair enough, this is a big thing for him to process on little sleep that his inner thoughts earlier in the chapter already set up) rather than just outright shunning him. (Ha. Shun. shun. Get it?)

A more *noted* bloat they cut out is that Shun and Mio get physical in the manga way earlier than the movie, the touches just not quite being everything Mio wanted. Without those more tender moments, where they actually seem like a couple, it seems like Mio is chasing after Shun desperately, whilst Shun couldn’t care less about him. It detracts from the whole relationship. Below are some examples of the two of them actually seeming like a couple that were cut from the movie, including longing looks from Shun, Shun hugging Mio whilst he’s asleep, and Shun asking to kiss and touch Mio.

The Issue:

Bloat cutting always annoys me, but usually, if it’s not hindering the story, I don’t mind. What bothers me most of all in this movie, is that without these subtle little panels and moments, the relationship between Shun and Mio seems... forced, frankly. In the movie, Shun seems to be the instigator of the flirting, and then after the time skip he acts practically disgusted, avoiding a lot of Mio’s advances, and we don’t get to hear his inner thoughts like we do in the manga to explain why he’s feeling this way.

In the manga, during these ‘bloat’ pieces, Shun is an actual willing participant in the relationship, and Mio isn’t just forcing his advances onto Shun. It’s natural. It’s not flipping between hot and cold, or suddenly ramping up after a big moment of drama, it’s slow and careful and a real relationship.

This would be a bad change in any adaptation, but it’s especially so in this one. Anyone who is a fan of BL specifically is probably aware of the genre’s bad rep historically for having some... questionable consent issues. This manga didn’t have them. The movie? I’m not so sure, and that’s why it’s rubbed me the wrong way. I could spend another 1000 words talking about this issue as a whole, but I’ll leave it there, you get the idea.

Expected? Yes. Okay? Meh.

There’s no real point to this post aside from to complain a little and point out just how much more the source material gives us. Cutting the bloat always happens, and I don’t want it to stop happening per say, that would be impossible, but I’d kill for adaptors to just take a little more time to work out what is unnecessary and cutable bloat, and what is something they should really keep in.

The movie is still cute and beautifully made, so please go watch and see for yourself! Mostly, I’d highly recommend the manga: it’s got the same gorgeous art style, only about 5 chapters long, and the story and relationship is that little bit more firmly built.

I’ll stop ranting now, and I hope this actually made sense? Anyway, congrats on making it all this way.

#umibe no etranger #bl manga #bl anime #yaoi manga #anime discussion #please note the important points #this does not mean its a bad movie by any means #just was a disappointment

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prettyboyreid · 4 years

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not clickbait!

Matthew finally agrees to make a YouTube video with his girlfriend.

Warnings: none, just fluff :)

Word Count: 6,493

Special thanks to all of the anons who gave me nickname ideas :)

“Please, Matthew? It’s just this one time, I promise,” you pleaded with him, following your boyfriend around like a lost puppy through your house as you did your best to get him to join you for one of your YouTube videos.

You were quickly approaching your YouTube channel’s three year anniversary, and you wanted to do something special for it. While you had been dating Matthew for nearly five years, he’d never once made an appearance in a video. You posted about him on other social media platforms and he posted about you - you even made a brief appearance in the second season of his Unauthorized Documentaries - but he always turned you down when you offered to have him join you on a challenge or a “Get Ready With Me” video.

This time, however, you weren’t taking no for an answer.

“I don’t know, angel. It doesn’t really seem like a good idea,” he said, mindlessly wandering into your kitchen before leaning against the granite counter. You gave him a soft pout, positioning yourself between his legs as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

Matthew has always been hesitant with your relationship in the public eye. There’s fifteen years between the two of you, and he was always overprotective of you, especially when it came to the media. He knew how harsh some people could be and didn’t want anyone attacking either of you because of your relatively large age gap. It took about two years before he finally gave in and posted pictures of the two of you on social media, making your relationship “public.” You didn’t really have a problem with waiting so long; you thought it was sweet that he cared so much. Besides, it was nice to have him to yourself for a little while.

You had yet to convince him to accompany you in a video. You were an open book with your followers and subscribers - they were a big part of your life. You wanted them to know about you and Matthew, and you thought the best way to do so was having him in a video with you. A person can be completely different in a video than they appear in a photo.

“Come on, Matty,” you groaned, drawling out the last syllable as you let your head fall back in frustration. You felt his hands move to your hips and squeeze softly, sighing heavily at your insistent nature.

“Okay! Okay, fine, I’ll do a video with you,” he said tilting your head back up by your chin so you could look at him again with a bright smile. “What video are we doing? You’re not going to strap me to the side of a rickety old airplane or anything, right?” he asked.

He looked genuinely worried you would force him to do something dangerous for a moment.

You rolled your eyes a bit at his dramatic assumption, letting your fingers lace through his light brown hair as you looked up at him. “No, I’m not,” you promised him, leaning up on the tips of your toes to press a quick kiss to the end of his nose.

His face scrunched up a bit into a teasing frown at the odd sign of affection, shifting his weight a bit while his hands traveled up the bottom hem of your t-shirt so his fingers could trace along your skin. “Alright, no airplane. What did you have in mind, then?” he asked, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he looked down at you.

You silently noted the way his pupils grew nearly twice their size when he looked at you.

You shrugged, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind your ear. “I was thinking just a simple Q&A video…” you began, your voice trailing off as you second-guessed the rest of your idea for the bi-weekly video you planned to execute with Matthew.

He raised an eyebrow slightly as he saw you hesitate, folding his arms across his chest with a soft huff out of his nose. “And what? I know there’s something else there,” he asked. You were notorious for having more than one element to your videos, so he knew you wouldn’t settle for just sitting in the spare room you converted to your shooting room and read off random questions with him for thirty minutes. Besides, you both knew he would get antsy and want to do something with his hands. He was restless all the time, and you would need a way to keep him busy.

“I was thinking… I could have you do my makeup while we answered the questions?” you suggested to him, though it came out sounding more like a question than anything. You watched nervously as his brows furrowed together as he thought it over before smiling brightly. He wrapped his arms tightly around you before pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head with a hum.

“I think it sounds like a great idea, bunny,” he said, swaying the two of you back and forth for a moment as he hugged you. You rested your head against his chest with a smile, happy you had finally convinced him to join you for a project of your own.

“I’m glad you think so,” you said, pulling away as you looked up at him. His features from your point of view were shadowy, yet still very definitive. He really didn’t have any bad angles, in your eyes.

He leaned down with a grin before pressing a few soft kisses all over your face, his short stubble tickling your cheeks. You giggled softly at the sensation as you pulled away, hiding your face in his shoulder. You heard his soft chuckle as you checked the time on your phone, shoving it into your back pocket before grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards the stairs of your shared home.

“Come on, I need to at least show you what goes where so you don’t completely ruin my makeup,” you teased him with a smile, looking back at him over your shoulder to see a smile on his lips that matched your own.

The next morning, you tweeted out for people to tweet you and Matthew questions for the upcoming video. The two of you spent the next day choosing the questions you were going to answer, writing down the username of the person who asked it and the actual question they had for you.

You came to a compromise when you picked out the questions: the two of you would pick five together, and each of you would individually pick out five. You thought it would be fun to see what kinds of questions he would pick out for the video, and you found a few that you thought would at least earn a laugh from him.

He thought it would be a good idea to take the questions and put them on pieces of paper, cut them up, and pick them at random from a hat. He hardly gave you time to agree before he began to write down the questions in his chicken scratch onto ripped up pieces of yellow legal paper.

After you had all of the questions in order, he helped you set up the spare room on the second floor so you could film the next day. He helped you hang up the pale blue sheet you usually had for the backgrounds for your videos, and dragged the coffee table upstairs so you could have a place to put all of your makeup. You got some foldable chairs you kept in one of the junk closets along with seasonal decorations and items that needed to go to the thrift store, setting them up across from his camera (that he insisted on using) so they were in the line of sight. It took you much longer than it should have to set up the shot, but you didn’t expect anything less from your director boyfriend.

Since you didn’t finish setting up the room until about 9:45, you decided you would just film the next day.

Matthew insisted on having a late night snack of a pint of ice cream - one for each of you, of course. You quickly found out he was just trying to figure out which questions you had picked out. You two bickered back and forth for what felt like hours as he tried to figure out which ones you wanted to surprise him with.

“Did you choose the one that asked about how the sex is?”

“Jesus, Gube! No, I didn't. Why, did you?” you retorted, eating another spoonful of the frozen dessert as you teased him.

He rolled his eyes before shaking his head, his grown out hair shaking with each movement. “No, but I’ll tell you one of the ones I picked if you tell me one of yours, sunshine,” he said, nudging your shoulder with his own as he finished the pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, setting the empty container on the table at the end of the couch, since your coffee table was currently upstairs covered in cosmetics.

You huffed out at his attempts to barter with you, shaking your head as you grabbed the two empty pints before heading off to the kitchen. “That wouldn’t make it much of a surprise then, would it?” you asked him, rinsing out the containers before tossing them in the recycling bin beneath the kitchen sink. You jumped slightly as you felt a pair of long, lanky arms snake around your waist, grinning as his lips tickled against your neck as he kissed your skin softly.

“Just one question, pretty please,” he asked, dragging out the phrase to try and guilt you into giving in. You tutted at his all but frugal attempts to break you, slipping out of his grasp quickly.

“For the last time, nope,” you said, popping the “p” before smacking his ass playfully. You grinned at the shocked expression your actions earned from your boyfriend. “Now come on sweet cheeks, we should get some rest before your big YouTuber debut,” you teased, lacing your hands with his as you walked him up the stairs.

He chuckled a little bit, both at the nickname and your excuse for why you needed to get to bed relatively early. “Whatever you say, sunshine,” he replied, his arm snaking back around your waist as you made your way closer to your shared bedroom.

You would never describe Matthew as one to get camera shy, especially given his career. But as you two got dressed and got ready the next morning, he was pacing your room as he buttoned up one of his patterned short-sleeved shirts.

“Do you think this is a good idea? I feel like this might be a little premature. I don’t even think your audience likes me. Jesus, what if I ruined you by being on your channel?” He voiced every possible thing that could go wrong, redoing the buttons at least three times as he messed them up from his brain being preoccupied.

You stood up from your seat at your vanity, setting down your hairbrush as you made your way to the pacing man. You rested your hands on his upper arms to stop him in his repetitive path, forcing him to look down at you.

“You’ll be fine, bug,” you reassured him, leaning up and kissing his nose softly. “You know they love you already. I promise that you’re going to be great, okay?” you told him, pushing some of his curls out of his eyes as you gave him a bright smile.

You watched as his nervous expression softened as you fed him words of encouragement, letting out a soft sigh before kissing the top of your head. “Okay… okay. Can we do this now? I feel like I’m going to back out of this if we wait any longer,” he asked. You couldn’t help but chuckle at his comment, nodding softly before leading him out of the room and down the hall.

He sat down in one of the seats as you made sure the camera and lighting was alright, pressing the record button before sitting down in your own seat. You grinned over at him, watching as he nervously fidgeted with the Alvin and the Chipmunks hat in his hands that held your questions.

“You ready?” you asked him, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind your ear as you double checked that you had everything. He looked up from the bright red hat that had entranced him before nodding, setting it down on the coffee table before he looked back over to you. You smiled over at him before leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. You turned towards the camera a second later, flashing a bright smile as you adjusted the way you sat so you’d be at a better angle.

“Hey guys!” you greeted enthusiastically to the camera, giving a little wave as well. “Welcome back to a new video! Today I have a very special guest with me; my boyfriend, Matthew,” you introduced, glancing over at him with a smile. You watched him adoringly as you watched him give his own little wave, watching his cheeks turn a pale shade of pink.

“Hello!” he said with enthusiasm that rivaled yours, despite his little voice crack in the middle of the word. You grinned a little bit before turning back to the camera, crossing your left leg over your right.

You finished up the intro to the video rather quickly, just explaining what you guys would be doing and thanking everyone for sending in questions. After a few moments you turned back to Matthew, grabbing the red hat from the coffee table. “You ready?” you asked him, smiling as he nodded and began to look through the makeup.

You sifted through the questions to shuffle them up, laughing a bit as you noticed how focused he was on the products in front of him. “What do I even start with?” he asked you, picking up a concealer and a tube of mascara.

“Start wherever you want, bub,” you smiled, leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek as you unfolded the first question, watching him untwist the cap of the mascara tube.

“Okay, @y/ngoobler asked, ‘How and where did you two meet?’” you said, grinning as he intricately began to apply the black substance to your lashes with a bright smile at the question.

“Can I answer this one?” he asked you in a soft voice. You giggled a bit at his timidness, but nodded quickly before watching his face light up. “Okay, okay, so about five and a half years ago, I went to a panel with my costar, AJ Cook,” he began, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he continued to apply the mascara very generously to your already long lashes.

“Y/N was there with a friend of hers, and I met her at one of the photo ops. Then I later saw her back at the hotel we were staying at, and we talked for a while before I asked her out to dinner the next night before I flew back home,” he explained, leaning back a bit as he inspected his work. “Then I just kept asking her out and hoped she didn’t get annoyed with me. It’s worked for five years so far,” he chuckled, twisting the cap back onto the tube of mascara before looking back at you.

“Can I pull the next one?” he asked, grinning a bit as you nodded to him before he mixed the questions up in the hat before pulling the next one.

“Alright, @y/s/ntrash asked, ‘What is your favorite thing about the other?’” he read off, grabbing a random eyeshadow palette off the coffee table along with a rather large eyeshadow brush. “You go first, I need to focus on this,” he murmured to you, dipping the brush into a yellow color. You closed your eyes with a smile, trying to picture the shape he was designing on your eyelid as you thought over your answer.

“My favorite thing about Matthew is… his sense of humor, probably,” you answered, chewing, grinning as you could feel his demeanor change brightly. You knew how self-conscious he could be, especially about anything that involved entertainment, so that probably lifted his spirits a bit.

“My turn?” he asked you, pulling the brush back as he waited for your answer. You opened the eye he wasn’t working on, nodding softly as you noticed his bright smile. “Besides everything, my favorite thing about you is your smile,” he announced to you and to the future audience, kissing you quickly before he gathered more of the eyeshadow on the brush.

You reached down into the hat as you picked the next question, laughing a bit at the way the brush he used tickled your skin with each stroke he made. “Uh, @spencerwreid asked, ‘Y/N, what is your favorite movie of Matthew’s? Matthew, what is your favorite video of Y/N’s?’” You crumpled up the small yellow piece of paper before tossing it to the side, closing your eyes as he moved onto the next lid.

“My favorite movie of his is probably… Hot Air, I think. I loved the cinematography and the coloring, and Lesley reminded me so much of him,” you explained, folding your arms across your chest as you settled back into your chair. “Your turn, bug,” you told him, figuring he was lost in a trance of his work.

“Oh, shit, okay,” he said, pulling away and letting the brush fall onto the table with a clink as you opened your eyes again. “My favorite video is… that vlog you made when you went to Disneyland with a few of the other YouTubers. I don’t remember their names. I think two of them were twins,” he said, sifting through the products to figure out what to do next.

“The Dolan Twins?”

“That’s it!”

You grinned a little bit, leaning over again and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “How does it look so far?” you asked him, watching him grab an angled brush before grabbing a neutral eyeshadow palette.

“I can’t tell you, it’ll ruin the surprise,” he said, chuckling as you stuck your tongue out playfully at your boyfriend. He plucked the next question from the hat, carefully unfolding it before he read it aloud. “@queeny/n asked, ‘How long have the two of you been together?’”

“It’ll be five years this August!” you answered enthusiastically, watching as Matthew just smiled brightly at your quick answer.

You grabbed at the hat and picked out a new question as you watched him dip the brush into a light brown shade, humming to yourself as he dragged it along your eyebrow. “Okay, okay, @abbygubler asked, ‘What did you do for your first date?’” you repeated the question, tossing it to the side as you watched Matthew carefully fill in your brows.

“I took Y/N to a Thai restaurant across the street from our hotel, and she had the absolute worst pad thai I’ve ever tasted in my life,” he chuckled at the memory, pulling back for a moment to look at his work and pick another question.

He placed the brush between his teeth for a moment as he unfolded his question, leaning his neck back slightly before playfully spitting the brush back onto the table, earning an eye roll and stifled laugh from you.

“@prentissprincess asks, ‘Why did it take you guys so long to go public?’” He hummed at the question, picking up a bottle of setting spray before shaking it up. “Close your eyes,” he told you, and you obliged before he spritzed the mist over your face.

“Well, I’ll tell you why,” he began, picking up a bottle of foundation as he turned to the camera (probably just for dramatic effect.) “I am fifteen years older than Y/N, and when we told a few friends when we started dating, they weren’t too fond of it, and didn’t find it necessary to hide their feelings from us,” he said, using the pump on the bottle of foundation to scatter drops across your face.

“So, after talking about it for a bit, we decided to just keep it to ourselves for a little while, just so we didn’t have to deal with the media for a little while - should I use the big brush or the egg?” he interrupted himself, holding up both of them as he looked at you. This obviously was much more important to him than the question, which made you smile a bit.

“The sponge would probably be better,” you corrected and informed him, watching him nod before beginning to carefully dab at your face with the beauty blender.

“Okay. Anyway, we just thought it would be best for a bit, and then we got a little more comfortable and just posted about each other, and now I’m in a YouTube video. I think this is going to be the peak of my career,” he joked. You snorted softly at the comment, which only made him smile brightly as he continued to blend out the foundation across your face.

You picked out the next question, careful to not interrupt your boyfriend’s creative process as you unfolded it and read it around his arm. “@mixmatchedmatthew asked, ‘Was it hard to keep your relationship a secret for such a long time?’” You glanced up at Matthew slightly as he picked up a kabuki style brush and a little compact bronzer.

“I don’t think so, no,” you answered, watching him dip the brush into the compact.

“Make a fish face. That’s what you showed me, right?” he instructed. You nodded softly with a grin, sucking in your cheeks as he brushed the darker cosmetic across your sunken cheek. “The hardest part was probably not being able to show her off, but overall, I’ve probably done harder tasks,” he admitted, brushing out the powder across your cheek before moving up to the sides of your forehead and along the bottom of your jaw.

He set down the brush as he finished the one side of your face, reaching over into the hat and picking out the next question for you two to answer.

“Okay, this one is from @y/ndivinity - Why are these usernames so creative? We need better user names,” he commented, taking the brush and working it across the other side of your face. “Anyway, they asked, ‘What are your favorite things to do together?’”

“Oh! I love just sitting around and painting or drawing together. I like just… being creative with you, I guess?” you answered, scrunching up your nose slightly as he began to drag the brush over it.

“My favorite thing to do with you is taking you to the beach, even just for little lazy days,” he said with a smile. You grinned at his answer, pushing yourself out of your seat for a moment to kiss him quickly.

“I thought you didn’t even like the beach?”

“I only like it with you, bunny,” he answered quickly, giving you a quick kiss back before picking up a bottle of concealer.

You smiled at his response, picking out the next question as he started to draw little shapes under your eyes and in the middle of your forehead. “@aestheticmatthew asks, ‘Have you learned anything from each other?’” you read aloud, dropping the paper into your lap as you looked back to your focused boyfriend, who again was trying to decide between whether to use a beauty sponge or a brush to blend the makeup out.

“Use the sponge, ‘Hew,” you told him, watching him nod quickly before dropping the brush and beginning to dab carefully at your skin.

“I’ve learned how to become an up and coming makeup artist from Y/N,” he answered. You laughed a little, before realizing that that was his actual, legitimate answer. You grinned a little bit, leaning up and messing his hair up a bit to tease him.

“I learned not to take everything so seriously,” you answered, uncrossing your legs and stretching them out beneath his chair a bit. He noticed this, and his eyebrows furrowed together in concern.

“Are you okay? Should we take a break for a few minutes?” he asked you, pulling his hand back as (you assumed) he finished blending out the makeup across your face. You shook your head softly, though your heart melted a bit at how much he cared.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. We’re almost done, I’ll make it,” you promised him, smiling a bit as you plucked the next question from the hat. “Okay, uh, @sydney.y/l/n asked, ‘What do you see for your future together?’” You smiled a bit at the question, looking over at Matthew as you finished reading it. He paused his dig through the products as he smiled a bit at the question as well, leaning back in his seat for a moment as he thought.

“We’d probably stay in the haunted treehouse, but I feel like there’d be at least a few kids running around. Maybe married in Las Vegas along the strip, with a honeymoon somewhere tropical or in the mountains for two weeks,” he said, looking up slightly as if he was lost deep in thought.

“Besides that, just growing old and gray together, and I annoy you until one of us dies, or whatever happens when you turn one hundred and four,” he finished with a bright grin, leaning over and kissing your cheek softly. You smiled as he made a bit of a face, realizing he should’ve blended in the concealer a bit more as he wiped at his lips with the back of his hand. “That was gross,” you heard him mutter, which only made you burst into a fit of giggles as he reached for the next question.

You watched his face contort into a confused expression as he read over the question, and you knew at that moment he had picked out one of the questions you were surprising him with.

“Uh… okay, uh, @reidreidreid asked, ‘Is Y/N a sugar baby?’”

You laughed to yourself at the way he timidly read it and at the face he made, watching him hold back his own laughter as he looked forward to the camera. “No, sh-she’s not,” he said, stuttering over stifled chuckles as he pointed at the fairly large lense. “I am actually the sugar baby. She pays for everything, she actually bought the house from me when she moved in,” he said, fully prepared to continue going on a dramatic rant if it weren’t for you laughing at the entire thing. He shot you a playful glare, which only worsened your case of giggles.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry,” you said, grinning as you pressed your lips together before crossing your legs again. He picked up a blush palette and a fluffy brush as you picked out the next question, smiling as you watched him suck in his lips to hide his own smile that was tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Alright, @agenty/f/n asked, ‘Do you go on press tours and go to panels with Matthew?’”

“Smile big, I need to do the blush,” he interrupted you before you can answer, grinning a bit before doing just as he said.

“I just started going to them the past three years, after we went public,” you answered through your tightened teeth, watching as the taller man just laughed at the sight. You laughed quietly as he finished applying the pink powder, setting the brush and palette down once he was satisfied with his work.

He grabbed the hat to read out the next question before moving onto the next step of your makeup, humming as he shuffled the three thin remaining pieces of paper before plucking one out. “@penelopexderek asked, ‘What are your favorite quirks about each other?’” He set the paper down as he dug around the lipsticks, giving you time to answer first.

“When he sleeps, he wiggles his feet a bit, like he’s being tickled or something. It’s a lot cuter than it sounds, and it’s funny to just feel him softly kick at me in his sleep,” you said, teasing your boyfriend a bit with your answer. He stuck his tongue out at you at your response, picking up a pink vial of lipstick before uncapping it and twisting up the product.

He carefully began to apply the cosmetic to your lips as he gave his answer. “When she’s editing, Y/N has to be all spread out across our bed, and she has her tongue poking out of her cheek and she has like her Apple Pen stuck behind her ear… it’s just really cute,” he said, causing you to smile a bit as he finished applying the lipstick.

You pick out the second to last question, watching him grab at the setting spray again. He shook up the bottle for the second time today, waiting for you to read the question so he didn’t spray you in the mouth or the eye.

“@68y/n said, ‘Matthew, did Y/N ever visit you at the Criminal Minds set? If so, what’s your favorite memory there?’” You quickly closed your eyes and mouth so he could apply the spray, your eyes screwing just a bit tighter as you felt the cool mist on your skin.

“Yes, she did, actually. Only for the last few seasons, though, and whenever it worked out for her schedule. My favorite memory with her there is probably filming the Unauthorized Documentaries with her.”

“I was only in it for like twenty seconds, babe,” you said, chuckling a bit as he just shrugged.

“Doesn’t make it any less fun,” he replied quickly, grabbing the last question from the hat and reading it. You watched his face light up brightly, looking back up at you before leaning back in his seat and holding the piece of paper out to you.

“You read it.” You raised an eyebrow at his insistence, leaning back in your seat slightly as he smiled. “It’s one of the ones I picked out. You’ll love it, I pinky promise,” he said, holding his large pinky to you.

You smiled a bit, wrapping your pinky around his before taking the piece of paper from him.

“Alright, @jemilymoreid asks…” your voice trailed off as you smiled, reading the question before glancing up at Matthew. He had a wide grin on his face, crossing his arms over his chest proudly as he waited for you to finish the question. “...they asked, ‘Has he given you the screw that was in his knee yet?’”

You smiled up at him, leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Yes, he has. We still keep it in the fireplace, but he gave it to me for our four year anniversary,” you said with a grin, glancing at him before looking back at the camera. “He said it was his version of a promise ring.”

You checked the time on your phone quickly before looking over at Matthew, smiling a bit. “Can I look at my face yet?” you asked him since you finished the questions. He nodded softly with a matching smile, handing you a handheld mirror before practically sitting on the edge of his seat. His eyes flickered with excitement and pride, wanting you to see what he had spent the morning working so hard on.

You couldn’t help but grin once you saw your reflection. It wasn’t by many people’s standards good, but considering it was his first time doing anything like it, you thought it was great. He looked over at you expectantly, chewing on his bottom lip as he laced his hands together.

“It looks great, buggy,” you said, leaning over and kissing him quickly. You felt him smiling against your lips, obviously happy that you liked it. “I love it,” you told him as you sat back in your seat, his smile stretching across his face at the compliments.

“Really?” he said, his cheeks burning a pink shade that matched the one he brushed onto your face earlier. “I’m really glad you like it,” he beamed, leaning back in his seat as he just looked over at you, admiring his work and you.

You wrapped up the video, reminding the viewers to like, comment, subscribe, and follow your other social media accounts. You gave a wave and blew a kiss to the lens before you stood up and turned off the camera, sighing softly before turning off the lights.

You watched as Matthew slumped back into his seat, like he was holding in his breath the entire time you were filming.

“So, what now?” he asked, running his hands back through his hair as he looked up at you.

“Now, we clean this mess up, then I can start editing,” you said, helping him gather up all of the makeup. You two took everything back to your vanity where you usually kept all of it, sorting it out into their designated drawers as Matthew insisted on taking the coffee table back downstairs.

It didn’t take you very long to clean up the filming room. After you took a couple photos for the cover of the video, you took down the sheet and the camera tripod, folded up the lights, and put everything back where it belonged. In a little under an hour, you wouldn’t have been able to tell you had done anything in the spare bedroom.

You spent the rest of the day beginning to edit your video. It was a bit longer than usual, so you didn’t finish up until about eleven o’clock, only taking breaks to eat and use the bathroom. You rubbed at your eyes tiredly as you closed your laptop, shoving it in the drawer of your bedside table as you heard Matthew come into the room.

“Did you finish it already?” he asked, joining you in the bed before getting comfortable under the thick covers before turning to face you. You nodded softly, running your fingers back through your hair before pulling it back into a low messy bun.

“Yeah, I wanted to get it up tomorrow, so I just finished everything up tonight,” you explained to him, switching off the lamp beside you before cuddling up close to him, resting your head on his chest as you sighed quietly. You hummed contently as you felt his soft hands rubbing circles on your back, kissing the top of your head as he tried to get you to relax and release the tension you held in your body from sitting in one position for so long.

“I’m sure it’s great, angel,” he assured you, settling down into the mattress as he got ready to go to bed with you. “You need some rest so you can stay awake to see everyone’s reactions tomorrow, though,” he added, giving you a small smile in the dark room.

You nodded softly, intertwining your body with his as you tried to get comfortable in your bed. “G’night, baby boy,” you murmured lazily, pressing a soft kiss to his exposed chest, too tired to move your body up to kiss his lips.

“Goodnight, my love,” he whispered quietly back, both of your eyes closing as you let yourselves fall asleep quickly in the dark bedroom.

The next morning, both of you were riddled with nerves. He was worried that all of your followers would think he was annoying, and you were worried that they wouldn’t like the video in general. You always worried about this, but Matthew was the one to calm you down when you watched the video upload slowly to your most popular platform. However, since you both were pacing in front of the laptop screen, worry coursing through your veins, it wasn’t very helpful.

The video uploaded at about noon, and after that, you both decided to close the computer for now. You wanted to wait a little while before you checked how the video was doing, so you two ordered some Chinese food and watched a random movie you found on Amazon Prime.

You two cuddled up on the couch and ate your food as the movie played on, but from the bouncing of his leg and the sound of your heartbeat in your ears, you could tell that it wasn’t a very good distraction. Halfway through the movie he let out a huff and paused it, pulling out his phone and opening the YouTube app.

“Enough people would have seen it by now to give us some feedback, right?”

He opened up your channel and clicked on your most recently uploaded video, smiling as he saw that there were almost three thousand likes in about one hour of being uploaded. He scrolled down to the comment section, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he scrolled through them.

“They’re so cute omg”

“A video with Matthew!!! Finally!!!”

“The perfect couple <3”

“I need a Matthew IMMEDIATELY!”

You only found a handful of negative comments, but the positive ones completely outweighed them. You watched as the tall boy smiled brightly as he read through them, even liking a few of them as he went along.

“They actually like me!” he said excitedly, looking down at you as he spoke. His eyes were lit up like a Christmas tree with happiness, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head.

“I told you they would, Matty,” you reminded him, curling up to him as you rested your head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around you to pull you just a bit closer, reading back through the comments with a grin.

“See, and it’s doing really well, too! Everyone loves the video,” he told you, showing you a few comments that praised the content they had received from you. You hummed in content as you sported a matching smile, glancing up at him before taking his phone and pressing the power button.

“Now that we have that out of the way,” you began, taking the remote from him. “We should probably finish that distraction.”

“I agree,” he said, pressing a few kisses across your face and head as you pressed play, pulling a blanket over the two of you as you tossed both of your phones onto the coffee table. Your attention turned back to the movie, reveling in the warmth of his touch as you let out a relieved sigh, happy that all of your fans and followers loved him almost as much as you do.

Almost.

@darling-doll9 @imsuperawkward

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ifuckinglovestvincent · 3 years

Text

St Vincent: “Pour a Drink, Smoke a Joint... That’s the Vibe”

Ding dong! Daddy's Home

By Johnny Davis

19/03/2021

Annie Clark, known professionally as St Vincent, picked up a guitar aged 12 after being inspired by Jimi Hendrix. During her teens she worked as a roadie and later tour manager for her aunt and uncle, the jazz duo Tuck & Patti. Originally from Oklahoma, she moved to Dallas, Texas when she was seven and later attended the Berklee College of Music in Boston, Massachusetts for three years, before dropping out.

Clark worked as a touring musician with the Polyphonic Spree and Sufjan Stevens, before releasing Marry Me, her first album as St Vincent, in 2007. By her fifth album, 2017’s Masseduction, she had become one of the most celebrated artists in music, the first solo female artist to win a Grammy Award for Best Alternative Album in 20 years.

She became unlikely Daily Mail-fodder around the same time, thanks to an 18-month relationship with Cara Delevingne, and later Kristen Stewart. Her ever-changing music, dressing up-box image and head-spinning well of ideas have seen her compared to David Bowie, Kate Bush and Prince. To complete the notion of her being the "artist's artist", in 2012 she collaborated with David Byrne on the album Love This Giant.

Indeed, she is surely one of few performers today who could stand in for Kurt Cobain with what’s-left-of-Nirvana, performing “Lithium” at their induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2014, as well as cover “Controversy” at a Prince tribute concert in 2020, with such guitar-playing fireworks its author would surely have approved.

Following the glam-influenced pop of Masseduction, St Vincent has performed another stylistic handbrake turn. Complete with a new image – part-Warhol Superstar, part-Cassavetes heroine – she has mined the textures of the music she loved most as a kid: the virtuoso rock of Steely Dan, the clipped funk of Stevie Wonder and blue-eyed soul of mid-Seventies' David Bowie, on her upcoming album, Daddy’s Home.

The title refers to Clark's own father, locked up in Texas for 12 years in 2010, for money laundering in a stock manipulation scheme, one in which he and his co-conspirators cheated 17,000 investors out of £35m. It is also, in typical Clark style, a bit of saucy slang.

Back on the promotional trail, Clark Zoomed in from Los Angeles one morning recently – fully caffeinated and raring to go. “My vices?” she pondered. “Too much coffee, man…”

What question are you already bored of being asked?

There’s not one that’s popping out. There’s no question where I’m like “Oh God, if I ever hear that again, I’ll jump off a building.” I’m chill.

I mention it because prior to releasing your last record you put out a pre-recorded “press conference”, seemingly to pre-empt every inane question the media would throw at you.

It’s so funny. It didn’t really occur like that. Originally that was supposed to be a legit green screen conference. Like, “I’ll just answer these questions ‘cos when they need to have me on ‘The Morning Show’ in Belarus they can have this and put their own graphics behind it”. But then when my friend Carrie Brownstein [collaborator and Sleater-Kinney vocalist-guitarist] and I started writing it and it became very snarky. For some reason it didn’t occur to me that “Oh, that might be off-putting or intimidating to journalists” I just thought "This is silly”. So anyway… I understand.

We're curious about your dad and the American legal system.

I have had a lot of questions about that. For some reason it didn’t occur to me how much I would be answering questions about… my hilarious father!

How do you view his time in prison?

Just that life is long and people are complicated. And that, luckily, there’s a chance for redemption or reconciliation, even after a really crazy traumatic time. And also anybody that has any experience with the American justice system will know this... nobody comes out unscathed.

You recently presented an online MasterClass: "St. Vincent Teaches Creativity & Songwriting". One of the takeaways: “All you need are ears and ideas, and you can make anything happen”. Who’s had the best ideas in music?

Well, you’ve got to give credit to people who were genuinely creating a new style – like if you think of Charlie Parker, arguably he created a new style. This hard bop that was just absolutely impossible to play. It was, like, “Check me out – try to copy me!” So, that’s interesting. I think Brian Eno, for sure, has some great ideas about music – and obviously has made some of the best music. Joni Mitchell – completely singular. I mean: think about that. There are some people who are actually inimitable – like, you couldn’t possibly even try to imitate them.

It’s a brave soul who covers a Joni Mitchell song. Although, apologies if you actually have.

No, I have not. And there’s a reason why not. Come on – Bowie. Bowie never repeated himself. David Byrne also didn’t repeat himself. He took all of his influences of classic songs and the disco that was happening at the time, and the potpourri of downtown New York music from the mid- to late Seventies… and synthesised it into this completely new, other thing. I mean, that’s impressive. Those are the ones we remember.

How hard is it not to repeat yourself?

It’s whether people have the Narcissus thing or not. Like, it’s always got to be a balance where you’re, like, “Well, I need to believe in myself to make something and be liberated. But I can’t look at that pond of my previous work and go ‘Oh you! You’re gorgeous!’” So I don’t go back and listen to things I’ve done. I finished Daddy’s Home in the fall and it was, like, “This is done” and it felt great. I loved the record and it was so fun to make. But what I did immediately afterwards was to write something completely different. But then I don’t know, ‘cos there are people who do the thing that they do just great. And you just want to hear more songs, in the style of the thing that they do great.

Right. No one wants an experimental Ramones album.

Exactly. Or, like, or a Tom Petty record. I don’t want a tone poem from Tom Petty! I want a perfectly constructed, perfectly written completely singalongable three-chord song.

The new album has a very “live” Seventies feel. I’d read that some of the tracks are first takes. Can that be right? It all sounds very complicated.

That’s not right. I should say [rock voice] "Yeah, that’s right, we just jammed…" But, you know, I’ll be honest. There are some vocal takes in there that are first takes. But it really is just the sound of people playing. We get good drum takes. And good bass takes. And I play a bunch of guitar and sitar-guitar. And it’s the sound of a moment in time, certainly. And way more about looseness and groove and feel and vibe than anything else [I’ve done before].

Amazing live albums, virtuoso playing, jamming – those were staples of Seventies music. Have we lost some of that?

I mean, I can wax poetic on that idea for a minute. In the Seventies you had this tremendous sophistication in popular music. Stevie Wonder, Steely Dan and funk and soul and jazz and rock…. and all of the things rolled into one. That was tremendously sophisticated. It just was. There was harmony, there were chord progressions.

What else from that decade appealed to you for Daddy’s Home?

It reminds me of where we are now, I think. So, 1971-1976 in downtown New York, you’ve got the Summer of Love thing and flower children and all the hippy stuff and it’s, like, “Oh yeah, that didn’t work out that well. We’re still in Vietnam. There’s a crazy economic crisis, all kinds of social unrest”. People stood in the proverbial burned-out building. And it reminds me a lot of where we are today, in terms of social unrest, economic uncertainty. A groundswell wanting change... but where that’s headed is yet to be seen. We haven’t fully figured that out. We’re all picking up pieces of the rubble and going “Okay, what do we do with this one? Where do we go with that one?” Being a student of history, that was one of the reasons why I was drawn to that period in history.

Also: that’s the music I’ve listened to more than anything in my entire life. I mean, I was probably the youngest Steely Dan fan. It didn’t make me that popular at sleepovers. People were, like, “I want to listen to C+C Music Factory” and I was, like, “Yeah, but have you heard this solo on [Steely Dan’s] ‘Kid Charlemagne’”? That music is so in me. It’s so in my ears and I feel like I never really went there [making music before]. And I didn’t want to be a tourist about it. It’s just that particular style had a whole lot to teach me. So I wanted to just dig in and find out. Just play with it.

Is there a style of music you don’t like?

That I don’t like?

You're a jazz fan...

I love jazz. Are you kidding me? I was that annoying 14-year-old who was, like, “Yeah, but have you listened to Oliver Nelson’s The Blues and the Abstract Truth?”

That does sound quite precocious for a 14-year-old.

It’s annoying. Just insufferable. [Thinking aloud] What music don’t I like….? Here’s what can happen. And I feel like it’s similar to when an actor has some lines in a script and they’re not very good – not very well-written – so they overcompensate by making it very dramatic and really overplaying it. I would say that is a style of music that I don’t really like. Where somebody has to really oversell it and it all feels… athletic. Instead of musical or touching.

Did you put your lockdown time to constructive use?

If you need any mediocre home renovations done, I’m your girl. It was fun. I did – let’s see now – plumbing, electrical, painting. Luckily there’s YouTube, so you can more or less figure it all out. I did a lot of that stuff and I have to say it was such a nice contrast to working on music all day. Because when you’re working on music you have to create the construct of everything. You’re, like, “I need to make this song. But what is this song?” Everything is this kind of elusive castle in the sky thing. But then, if you go and sand a deck, you’ve done something. It feels really good. And it’s not, like, “What is a deck? And who am I?” You’re just, like, “This is a task and I get to do it and I can see how the mechanism works I understand it it’s not esoteric – it’s simply mechanical". I can do something mechanical. I loved it.

Which bit of DIY are you most pleased with?

Painting the kitchen cabinets. That’s a real job. We’re talking sanding. We’re talking taking things off hinges. We’re talking multiple coats. The whole lacquer-y thing at the end. That. I’m, like, “That looks pretty pro”.

What colour did you go for?

Oh, you know, it’s just a sort of… teal. But classy teal.

Of course.

Yeah. The wallpapering wasn’t as successful. But, you know, that’s fine. So that was really fun. And then I also went down a history rabbit hole. I realised I had some gaps in my knowledge about the Russian Revolution and life under the Iron Curtain and the gulags and Stalin and Lenin. So, I went down that hole. And then I was like “Oh I forgot – I haven’t read any Dostoevsky”. So I have been working on his short stories – which are great. And then Solzhenitsyn I really liked – I mean liked is a strange word to use for The Gulag Archipelago. I read Cancer Ward… All of them. I recommend all of it. And then, before that, it was a big Stasi kick. I can’t remember the last time I had time to brush up on the Russian Revolution.

There’s a lyric on “The Laughing Man”, “If life’s a joke… then I’m dying laughing”. It’s also on your new merchandise. What do you think happens when we die?

Nothing.

This is it?

Yeah. I mean, I understand that it would be comforting to think otherwise. That there might be a special place. It would be nice! The thought’s never really been able to stick for me. I would say that we are made of carbon and then we get subsumed back into the Earth and then eventually we become life again – in the carbon part of our makeup.

Well, that sounds better than an endless void.

I don’t think it would be an endless void.

In what ways are you like your mum and dad?

Let’s see. Well, my mother is a precious angel who has unwavering optimism. She is incredibly intelligent and also very nonjudgmental and able and happy to explore all kinds of possibilities. Saying that, though… it’s sounding not like me at all. I’m like my father in that I think we have very similar tastes in books, films, music and a very similar sense of humour. My mother’s so kind that it’s hard for me to… Her level of kindness and decency is aspirational to me.

How famous are you, on a scale of one to 10?

God, I mean, like, “TikTok Famous” probably a one, right? I’m gonna say – I don’t know about the number system – but I’m going to say I-occasionally-get-a-free-appetiser-sent-over famous. Which is a great place to be.

What do you look for in a date?

It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date. You know, I once read something, it might have been something cheesy on a card, but [it was]: if you don’t like someone, then the way they hold their fork will bother you. But, if you like someone – or love someone – they could spill an entire plate of spaghetti on your lap and you wouldn’t mind.

You play a zillion instruments. What’s the hardest instrument to play?

Well, I can’t play horns or anything like that. The French horn is supposed to be really hard. I don’t like to blag… but I’m an incredible whistler. Like, I can whistle Bach.

Is Bach a particularly tough whistle?

I think… yeah. It’s fast. And noodly.

What’s the first thing you’re going to do when we're out of lockdown?

I’m gonna get a manicure and a pedicure and a massage. Massage from a stranger. Any stranger.

What about a night on the tiles?

I will probably attend a dinner party.

That sounds quite restrained.

It sounds hella boring. Sorry.

Clubbing?

No, I don’t really go to clubs. I think in order to go to clubs you have to be a person who likes to publicly dance. And I don’t publicly dance. I mean I would feel too shy to dance at a wedding. But for some reason I will dance on stage in front of 10,000 people.

That’s why alcohol was invented.

Exactly! But I swear I would reach the point of alcohol sickness before I would be drunk enough to dance.

The effects of drugs on creativity: discuss.

Unreliable. Really unreliable. Sometimes after a day’s work in the studio you’re like, "I’m gonna have shot of tequila and then sing this a few more times, and then play". It’s okay but you peak sort-of quickly. You can’t sustain the level without getting tired. And then I would say that weed just makes me paranoid and useless. Every once in a while some combo of psychedelics can get you someplace. But, for the most part, you either come back to [the work] the next day and you’re, like, “This is garbage” or you get sleepy or hungry or distracted and you’re not really doing anything. I’ve never had opiates. Or coke or whatever. So I don’t know. I can’t speak to that. But with the slightly more G-Rated [American movie classification: All Ages Permitted] thing, it doesn’t really help.

What do you have too many of in your wardrobe?

I’m not a hoarder. I tend to have one thing that I get really obsessed with and then I wear it every day. Some people, having a whole lot of things gives them a sense of safety and security. It gives me anxiety. I can’t think if there’s too much visual noise. If there was a uniform that I could wear every day I would absolutely do that. And at certain times I have.

Like Steve Jobs?

Or, oh God, what’s her name? The Theranos lady… Elizabeth Holmes!

The blood-test-scam lady?

Well, I guess it was unclear how much of it was self-delusion and how much of it was, you know, actual fraud.

Another black turtleneck fan.

And – again, this is unconfirmed – she also adopted a very low voice like this in order to be taken seriously as a CEO.

Like Margaret Thatcher.

Did she have a low voice?

She made hers “less shrill”.

Oh yes. Yes!

What movie makes you cry?

The Lives of Others

That’s a good one.

Right. I rewatched that during my Stasi kick.

I’ll be honest, your lockdown sounds even less fun than everyone else’s.

I mean… Look, I had to educate myself. I went to a music college [Berklee College of Music] where I tried to take the philosophy class and the way that they would talk about it… it was taught by this professor who was from one of the neighbouring colleges in Boston. And it was very clear that he really disliked having to talk Kierkegaard to a bunch of music school kids. He was just so bummed by it. I’m trying to learn, “What’s the deal with Kant?” and he felt he had to explain everything only in musical terms [because he assumed it would be the only thing music students could relate to]. Like, “Well, you know, it’s like when Bob Marley…" I’m, like, “No, no, no! I don’t want that!” So I had to educate myself. This is where its led me.

Where should we ideally listen to Daddy’s Home?

Put it on a turntable. Pour yourself a glass of tequila or bourbon – whatever your favourite hooch is – and smoke a joint and listen to it. I think that’s the vibe.

Daddy’s Home is released on May 14

#have u covered Joni mitchell? Annie clarkson: ‘I have not’#OKAY MA’AM WHATEVER U SaY MA’am #st vincent #annie clark #interviews #marfa was a dream #Apparently #and that one time she posted her singing jm in the car #also that time at Newport folk festival with doveman #‘maybe that’s her shtick this time around’#’to be full of shit?’#’yah’#that’s hot

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loquaciousquark · 4 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Redux! Oct. 13, 2020)

Gooooood evening good evening good evening, all! I started the VOD late for this recap and somehow the first four or so minutes of the show have a Twitch audio copyright claim, so I am reduced to only reading Brian's lips when he asks if we're on the internet. Hilariously, Marisha's background room is a comfy-looking blue/gold fabric wall with a ceramic colorful abstract lamp and a yellow silk scarf over the lampshade, and Taliesin's is an industrial looking games room in grey and black with multiple monitors, overhead speakers, and mysterious metal fixtures behind him. What a treasure this group is, honestly.

Tonight's guests: Marisha Ray & Taliesin Jaffe, discussing episodes 110 and 111 again. I wildly speculate once more about what might have caused their absence: jury duty? Sam appearing on The Masked Singer? Something to do with the animated show? One day, we’ll know, one day... (One day this “copyrighted audio” section will come back from the wars, too. Ugh!) Finally! The audio comes back to reveal Brian discussing the endless reality of digital meetings and Marisha talking about (I think) her glare-reducing glasses she’s wearing. Welcome to the New Age (welcome to the New Age, to the New Age).

Announcements: Marisha suggests checking out Dimension20, another live tabletop gaming group, which premieres live on Wednesdays at 4pm (CollegeHumor).

Brian immediately wants to know how they feel about the revelation that Molly is alive. Taliesin’s personal reaction: he “knows some things” he can’t talk about and is aware of several possibilities that might be going on, but had a sneaking suspicion that there would not be a body for them to find. He says it’s almost all there for anyone to see in past material. Marisha’s personal reaction: she just wants to know how she’s doing with her theories, & was trying to block Tal’s face out deliberately as she was going off on her theories in the last episode. Taliesin says he thought her ideas were pretty good!

Cad has no clue what to think - it’s like listening to your friends talk about Buffy. Marisha thought it was a 50/50 Molly would still be there, but Beau had no idea. Not that it mattered, because as soon as Matt went through with it the reveal still blew their minds. Tal laid out his plans for the character with Matt during Campaign One (towards the end) after they all got their VM tattoos.

It is a “horrifying and gross” thing to dig up a body, and Beau was pretty reluctant to do it. Tal, as Cad: “Sometimes dead’s better.” The moral quandary of trying to speak with a dead friend was very different here than the frequent occasions they used the spell in C1.

Taliesin says his poker face is very bad, so it’s easier for him to over-react and let it all play out. The only other player he can see very easily from his place in their current setup is Travis, and because he knows Travis doesn’t watch TM, tweet, or participate in social media, he admits he thoroughly enjoyed watching Travis freak out at his freaking out. He says he only knew about 20% of what Matt described at the end of that episode. He was picking things to mug to increase Travis’s surprise. I love this so much.

Taliesin provided the table left leg shake; Travis provided table right. Ha!

Beau is really accepting her role in the Cobalt Soul. It’s good when “as a person, you feel like you can settle into your calling. Sometimes you can do more from the inside than fighting from the outside.” It’s a mirrored but opposite path of Keyleth from C1; Beau felt like she was too good for her duty, while Keyleth thought she wasn’t good enough.

Caduceus is not a big believer in jumping to conclusions. He does have an idea/notion of the “city of the undead” and thinks all this necrotic energy must come from somewhere, and wonders if this is the “capital of anti-death.” He’s willing to believe whatever he sees. This is one of the few things that trigger a bit of loathing and disgust in him. It was terrifying that the Wildmother didn’t know anything.

Beau is pretty confident in her Charlie Day impression laying-out-the-research last episode. She enjoyed taking the things that were known & extrapolating around them; this is a huge facet of Marisha’s own personality and she really enjoys it, so she built a character this time that would allow that kind of puzzle-solving. It’s also why she repeatedly notes when Beau journals, so she can avoid metagaming. Trent’s mention of Vess Durogna’s tomb raiding was completely circumstantial, and the only reason she’d made the connection to the Tombtakers was because she’d recently reviewed those notes for a separate unannounced project. Sometimes she tries to make connections and Matt is like, “It was...just descriptive. Just flavor. The curtains were red...” and she has to discard a paragraph of notes. She feels like it’s still something they have to do because of “look at what he does! Look! It’s totally valid!”

Cosplay of the Week: @kitsunstudios with a gorgeous Caduceus with a very intricate silk vest.

Caduceus’s takedown of Trent! One of my favorite moments in the entirety of C2. Taliesin felt Trent was an asshole; Caduceus felt sorry for him because of how dumb he thought he was. Caduceus’s response was "this is the dumbest man I’ve ever met in my life. He’s so dumb! Is nobody going to tell this guy how dumb he is? Oh, they’re all freaked out. Somebody needs to tell this guy he’s an idiot before somebody gets hurt.” (Marisha: “Before?”) Tal says it was the product of several years of therapy and many drunk conversations with Whitney Moore. It was from a genuine place of concern from Caduceus. “How are you allowed to have this much power and be that dumb?”

Brian loved how funny it was to watch everyone tiptoe around Trent and then Caduceus bulldoze through the end of the meal.

Taliesin: “Damage doesn’t make you interesting or better. It’s not what makes you good. Character isn’t found in damage. Just recovery.”

Brian & Marisha commiserate going through the stage where believing surviving something automatically made you a stronger person, better for the pain; instead it just meant you had to pick up the pieces after. Marisha talks about how strength through survival may be true for some people, but it shouldn’t be considered a necessity. Taliesin talks about how he used to think he had to be miserable to write. Brian talks about how believing he liked reading and writing miserable things only limited him for years.

Marisha feels it’s a C2 theme that almost all the PCs have someone trying to handwave or take credit for their accomplishments or explain their pain as being for their own good (Trent, Beau’s dad, Obann). She thinks it’s interesting to see all the various ways people try to take credit for your work/delegitimize you as a person. She loves that RPGs allow you to explore these odd moralities in interesting ways. The only way to fight it is to have a sense of your own self-worth, which is a problem a lot of the M9 started with.

Caduceus likes everyone, and really likes people who appear to need role models (Eodwulf). “With the right friends and the right bar and the right attitude, I think he’d be okay. Come over here where it’s so much better. That seems like an exhausting friendship that you have there.”

Marisha loves the mix of personalities in the M9; Veth, Cad, & Jester were all “we kind of like them!” after the dinner, and she immediately made eye contact with Travis and they both shook their heads. She knows Beau has to go along with it for Caleb’s sake for now, but she & Fjord are pretty sus of Trent’s proteges.

Beau is less concerned about Artagan’s relationship to Jester because “he showed his ass--she’s less worried about Jester now because a little of the magic is gone.” It’s a little like becoming an adult and realizing your parents are also just adults & human. Caduceus wasn’t suspicious of the Traveler for a long time until they got to the island. Aside: Taliesin loves the pantheon in D&D. “The notion of attempting to apply common Western conceptions of religion to a world where you have a pantheon of interventionist gods as baseline makes no sense to me. Everyone admits that every other god is there and doing shit; it has more in common with ancient Rome than anything else.” Now that he knows it was a con, he feels the wind had been taken out of it. He does have a sense that Jester’s gotten back together with an ex: “I hope that I’m really happy for you.” They’re both interested to see how Jester navigates the new relationship.

My internet goes out, of course. I panic for a second, thinking I’ve lost everything above, but all is well! Thanks, Form History Control addon!

Marisha loved punching Artagan, but regretting rolling so poorly. “I miss violence.” Dani lets us know it’s been about four episodes since the last battle.

There’s no way the Cobalt Reserve doesn’t have a single document on the Eyes of Nine. Beau believes “there are no real secrets” because people are just bad at not writing things down. For there to be no information at all seems really suspicious for her.

Fanart of the Week: @oddalchemist on twitter with some awesome Beau conspiracy red-thread boards overlaid a distant shadowy Molly walking away.

Caduceus feels a little guilty for really enjoying his time right now with the M9 and not wanting to go home. He’s starting to suspect that he’s going to go home very different than when he left. “He has the softest problems. I don’t know if I want to move back in with Mom & Dad.”

Beau is trying to get comfortable with the idea of being happy. Jester is probably Beau’s first real best friend & one of the first healthy female friendships she’s ever had. As long as she still has Jester in her life, she doesn’t care. For Yasha... “At the end of the day, Beau is a lonely person and has always been a lonely person. And I think you kinda reach this point where once you’re not lonely anymore, you can kind of come out of the fog and realize that was horrible! And terrifying! And is even more terrifying now that I know what I could have, and I don’t want to go back to that. At the end of the day Beau doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. There’s always been that flirtation with Yasha, but everyone had to figure their own shit out. And now it feels like it’s coming out a little bit of that haze, maybe this actually could be...” There are a lot of ways they complement each other & are good-different from each other. Marisha believes people can be attracted to more than person at once.

Caduceus doesn’t think nature turned against him on Rumblecusp, it was just a reality of nature being dangerous and violent. “He has a complex relationship with nature.” He doesn’t expect special treatment.

Thoughts on the mansion: “Man, it’s nice to be seen.” Marisha: “I don’t know how I ended up becoming the Scanlan of this campaign, but I’m living for it.” It felt like an echo of “I’m better for having known you.” They compare Marisha taking specific notes on the campaign to Liam taking specific notes on people’s favorite tapestries, comics, etc.

They talk about missing theme parks and daydream a park version of the mansion in CritRoleLand. It’s lovely.

Taliesin never expected Divine Intervention to work; he just wanted to roll some dice. He’s still processing what he saw/heard. They all agree it was very useful in the Vokodo fight.

Vilya! Marisha: “Ah! Ah! Ah!” As a player, Marisha was so deep in Beau’s eyes she didn’t pick up it was Vilya at first (especially since Matt really emphasized they should not be looking for C1 NPCs). Marisha’s brain melted. She bawled her eyes out on the ride home after that episode. Right after it ended, Laura told Marisha “Keyleth finally gets her happy ending,” and it makes Marisha emotional again since Keyleth’s story ended so bittersweetly. She talks about the very real feelings of “just wanting them to be happy, though!” She went back and listened to all her old Keyleth playlists. Everyone was teary after the episode. “Everyone has these 100% real memories of being these characters and having these good times.”

And that’s that for that! Thanks for your patience, all, and is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

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r3almellow · 4 years

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MLQC Boys With A Famous S/o

Here we go! Thank you anon for this request I hope its to your liking!! Apologies for typos as always!

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Kiro (YouTuber S/o)

How did you meet ?

You were a YouTuber that had over 500,000 subscribers. During a Mukbang Q&A video you received a question in regards to your celebrity crush.

“I think the big ass poster currently behind me kind of gives it away, but my ultimate crush is Kiro. I’d give anything to meet him at least once.” You went even as far as to give him a shout out. “Hey, super star! I heard you were a big foodie and since you like to eat and I like to eat, maybe we can eat together sometime? Okay, that was dumb, please ignore this!”

Little did you know, Kiro was a huge fan of your videos and just so happened to see your request. Next thing you knew a clip of you “shooting your shot” made its way to his social media page with a caption of “Its a date ;)” right above it. You just about died when you saw his post. You were only joking around! Well...not 100% joking, but you didn’t expect him to respond!

You spent weeks talking to each other through private messages soon after. Your messages filled with gushing over your similar interests, playful banters and light flirting. He offered to be a part of your next Mukbang stating that it was better to have two people eating themselves into a coma on camera than one. You couldn’t argue with facts and took him up on his offer! Kiro only had one condition...you let him take you out on a date afterwards.

And the rest was history.

Dating

The cutest couple to have ever existed!

Both of your social media pages are filled with couple photos.

You both get to dress up in disguise whenever you go on dates! A baseball cap, sunglasses, and face masks are your usual go to’s, but depending on where you’re going you might be required to get a little creative.

Dealing with overly excited fans and even more persistent paparazzi was a bit new for you, since your interactions with people is mostly through the internet, but you handle it pretty well.

Interviewers practically threw themselves onto every opportunity to get information about your love life. Kiro was more skilled than you about these things, so you tend to just laugh awkwardly and let him take care of it.

Kiro appears a little more in your videos whenever he’s free which the fans are grateful for. Of course, your channel doesn’t turn into all things Kiro and you never use him for your own personal gain.

Dating Kiro did open up some opportunities for you, like getting to experience award shows and networking with other celebrities and content creators. Again, you refused to throw Kiro’s name around just to get the things you wanted.

You both like to bounce ideas off of each other, whether its for his music or for your latest video. Having two creative minds come together does wonders!

You’re almost always somewhere in the background during his live streams.

Gavin (Actress S/o)

How did you meet?

High school. You were a part of the drama club and Gavin was...well...forced into being a part of the stagehand after being threatened with expulsion from his last brawl.

You were the first one to welcome him. You were kind, funny, and cute. And when you were on that stage? Mesmerizing was the best way to put how Gavin saw you. You were inspiring.

After graduation Gavin lost contact with most of his acquaintances, but he never once stopped thinking about you. Gavin wasn’t big on celebrity news, but he actually kept up with your progress once he got wind of a newcomer taking the entertainment world by storm.

Fast forward to a few years later and he was playing bodyguard for one of the most successful actresses in the world. You. This was just an undercover job that was going to last as long as his target was still out there.

There was definitely chemistry between you. And while Gavin wanted to act on his feelings, his work had to come first. You respected that, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to let him know you were interested. How could you not be? You had a huge crush on him back in high school and now that he was by your side practically every day those feelings came back with a vengeance!

As soon as Gavin’s objective was complete he continues being your bodyguard stating, “Only I can keep you out of trouble.” Which you responded by kissing him.

Dating

Once word got out about you dating your “bodyguard”, it shocked many that you decided to be with someone that wasn’t a celebrity.

Even so, Gavin doesn’t look like your average Joe. He has the body and face of man who could easily be on the cover of Vogue or Vanity Fair, but you know your man isn’t about that life.

You’ve spent years being a private person, so when you and Gavin start dating not revealing much was easy. The public only knew what you wanted them to.

There are a lot of at home dates filled with takeout and movie night. Just being in each others company is more than enough for you!

You work out together a lot! He’s really good about motivating you especially when you have to prepare for an upcoming movie. You honestly don’t need a personal trainer when you have Gavin.

The paparazzi are afraid of Gavin. Like they won’t even get within six feet of you whenever he’s around. The last poor soul who got a little too close for your liking ate asphalt within seconds.

Gavin isn’t one for the limelight or the glitz and glam, which you appreciate. Its nice to be around someone that isn’t a part of the entertainment world.

You don’t have to hide a part of yourself, in fear of judgement, whenever you were with him. You appreciated Gavin’s genuine nature. He was always truthful with you and he never gave the impression that he was only with you because of your status.

Gavin does a great job with making you feel special. Whenever you feel like you don’t meet the standards of what the industry wants, he pulls you out of that dark hole and gives you the pep talk you need to get through the day.

You could walk around without an ounce of makeup on or trade in a Dior dress for sweatpants and a t-shirt, and Gavin still found you beautiful.

Victor ( Famous Pianist S/o)

How did you meet?

Victor was a fan of your work for quite some time. There was something about your raw talent that drew him to your work. He always made it a point to go to all your live shows whenever he was available, but has never met you personally.

It wasn’t until you waltzed right into his office out of the blue. When he saw you enter his office with Goldman and two security guards tailing right behind you, he didn’t even recognize you. You looked as if you had just rolled out of bed with a messy bun, ripped jeans, t-shirt with some random cartoon character and thick rimmed glasses. His first thought as you stared him down with a frown was, “Who let this homeless person into his office?”

When Goldman called your name as the two security guards grabbed your arms, Victor had to do a double take. The elegant and graceful woman, who commanded the stage with just pads of her fingertips, was...YOU?!

Victor allowed you to stay, curious to know why you were here. You business with Victor was simple. You wanted funding to create music schools for low income families. You had sent countless emails to LFG with hopes to do business with them, but after being ignored the first few times and receiving a rude rejection email that morning, you were ready to take the bull by the horns.

Surprisingly Victor found himself intrigued by you and thus started an interesting partnership.

The more Victor got to work with you the more he became attracted to the headstrong, smart, and talented person who seemingly enjoyed ruffling his feathers every chance they got.

You were also attracted to the blunt, detail-oriented man and it bothered you to no-end. What you saw in a man who probably would critique drawings from a toddler, you had no idea. But you appreciated his work ethic. He genuinely wanted you to succeed with this project and you couldn’t deny his heart was in the right place.

The day the first school opened was the day Victor decided to stop tiptoeing around the mutual attraction and asked you out.

“We can celebrate your accomplishments over dinner.”

Dating

The CEO of LFG and the child prodigy turned world famous pianist dating?!

CAN WE SAY POWER COUPLE?!

Whenever paparazzi get a picture of the two of you, you both look as if you just finished a professional photoshoot. You NEVER look bad in those photos. Never!

And when you do professional shoots? It leaves people SHOOK. Magazines like Forbes have never had such a beautiful couple grace their covers before. Just wait until people see your wedding photos.

You always ask him to visit you during your rehearsals which he almost always declines but shows up anyway, if he’s not too busy. He’ll also bring a box of his homemade pudding because knowing you, you probably were too busy with preparations for your upcoming concert to eat. He’ll take you out to eat afterwards, but the pudding should hold you over for a bit.

Victor will never admit this to you, but your music helps him de-stress after a long day at work, so whenever he isn’t with you, your music helps him fall asleep.

Victor also likes to watch you work. Seeing you so focused as you create your next piece was a sight to beheld. The pensive look in your eyes as you went over your music sheet, the slow nod of your head as your fingers danced across the keys as you intently listened to the melody, and the way your eyebrow twitched when you hit a key you didn’t like; all things oddly enjoyed seeing.

You’ll never catch him staring. He’ll pretend he’s working whenever you feel his eyes on you and if you try to call him out on it, he will most likely deny it.

Lucien ( Novelist S/o)

How did you meet?

You needed the help of someone knowledgeable with neuroscience for your next book. Someone recommended a Professor at Loveland University who specialized on the topic. That was how you met Professor Lucien.

You two worked closely together once you started your manuscript, going over various topics under the neuroscience category. It wasn’t surprising just how intelligent the man was on the subject, but you were in awe about how much you knew.

Your meetings would often start at the university which led to you going home together once you found out he lived in the same building as you. You leveled up from the lecture hall to aquariums, movie theaters, restaurants, and his apartment where you had lunch or dinner.

Your conversations never stayed on the topic of work. It often changed to your interests. You found that you and Lucien had a lot of similar interests like your taste in books and art. He also developed a love for teasing you.

Seeing the look on your flustered face turned into one of his favorite pastimes.

When it came to the topic of your books, you learned Lucien has read quite a few of them and was very intrigued with your work. He asked you numerous questions, questions no one thought to ask.

He admitted to you his favorite of yours was the first book he ever read titled, “The Boy Who Dreamed.” You jokingly offered to sign his book, but he declined with a smile.

“I’ll admit I do enjoy the book, but I’m more interested in the woman who wrote it.”

Dating

More dates at your favorite places.

Almost every other week, Lucien seemed to have tickets to art exhibits, festivals, or the movies.

His teasing intensifies by a hundred! That man loves to tease you and you hate it! You love it.

The closer you got to Lucien, the more you realized he didn’t enjoy talking about himself, so it takes a while to learn about him or his past. You never press him for information, but he does reveal things to you within time.

Lucien loves when you read to him. Its how he falls asleep and once you find out he has trouble sleeping, you always suggest what you call “story time.”

In truth, having you by his side is more than enough to get him to sleep, but if you aren’t there hearing your voice will do the trick. You could be reading anything and he’d be fine with it. From Dr. Seuss to H.G. Wells, Lucien was fine with it as long as he got hear your voice.

You like to ask for his opinion on your latest projects. He does a great job making you think outside of the box which will make things easier or challenging during your writing sessions.

Whenever you encounter writer’s block, Lucien will pull you away from your laptop and mountains of papers to enjoy a nice relaxing day with him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doooone! Please comment if you enjoyed this! I’d love to know what you guys think!

Want to read more of my writing? Check out my MLQC masterlist here!

#mlqc #mlqc gavin #mlqc kiro #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mldd #mr. love #mr love queen's choice #mr love #mr love dream date

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shihalyfie · 3 years

Note

Also, another question (if you dont mind...): do you think there will be also a 02 reboot? Would it be a good ideia or is better to just let it the way it is right now?

I personally don’t want it, especially not if it uses the style of writing the current reboot has right now, in which its priority is far more about plot advancement than it is about characters. Mainly, for a lot of reasons:

I stress a lot that 02 wasn’t a great time for its characters themselves, and that a lot of what everyone striving for was to be happy after said events. Even if it only ends up being a mild rehash, I don’t want to see things like Ken suffering as the Kaiser again (not even in a different universe), because it was so important that everyone find a way to move on. In the case of Adventure, it’s much easier to make a reboot that’s only similar in surface details but is mostly something new because Adventure’s plot was relatively linear, and it’s possible to have the kind of relationship with the original series the current reboot has, but 02 has that kind of hardship as so intrinsically related to it that I’m not sure what you could do with it by taking its surface glosses.

I’ve been pretty blunt about the fact that most of us weren’t really watching 02 for the plot, and the reason the series has so much appeal is because of its character relationships and high thematic value. The bias towards that aspect is way more severe than it was in Adventure (where, again, the plot was mostly kind of linear and there was more emphasis on the “wonder of the Digital World” rather than so much human drama). I don’t want to see these specific characters recasted in a different context, and I also don’t think the series would have any appeal left if you did something completely different with a different style the way it’s being done with Adventure’s reboot.

This is a very personal thing, but one thing I noticed (and one reason I started writing very regularly for this blog) is that, when the reboot started airing, a lot of people would make comparisons with the older characters, but it turned out that people very often misremembered what actually went down in Adventure (ranging from minor misreadings to genuine factual errors). It’s something I don’t necessarily begrudge them for; Adventure is the kind of frustratingly subtle series that you forget a lot of if you haven’t seen it recently, and even more of that was lost in the American English dub, but it nevertheless led to a very frustrating experience where sometimes you’d see people take those reboot characteristics and talk about the original series characters like they’d always been like this or that, when in fact the original characters weren’t like that at all. This problem is bound to be multiple times worse with 02, where the characters are so often accused of being flat and lacking in development (they’re not!!), and 02 also had an even worse subtlety problem and an even more liberty-taking dub, and even the Japanese side of the franchise hasn’t exactly been delicate about handling their characters, and I am terrified that this kind of problem where people think of them inaccurately or badly might potentially get worse, because of a potential reboot take on them that would accidentally validate all of those misconceptions. You have no idea how relieved I was that Kizuna shows the 02 quartet at their best and in a way true to the spirit of the original, because I was really worried about how people would retroactively see them based on their portrayal there. (Also, unfortunately, there are a lot of people who pathologically hate 02 on principle, and even if a potential 02 reboot were the worst anime in the world, those kinds of people would be all too happy to yell “still better than the original!” regardless of anything, and I don’t think I’d have the patience to endure that...)

I honestly would just rather have new material than a reboot of anything. I’m not averse to the concept of a reboot per se, mainly in the sense that I do appreciate the fact that the current reboot isn’t just doing a “worse rehash of Adventure” and is clearly doing its own thing beyond the surface details, but I obviously would have vastly preferred doing something genuinely new. If they want to make a sequel anime to this reboot, why not make up some new characters exclusive to this universe? I think that’d be fun. I know a lot of 02 fans would see this as a dodge or spurn, but this is just my personal, very strong feeling as a 02 fan who thinks that the best thing that can happen with the characters I love so much would conversely be to let them move on. (I was already kind of amused at the fact they already made a few 02 references in the existing series, like Yamato’s bass guitar or Pegasmon.)

I know some people have suggested a reboot to “fix” 02′s plot writing issues, but I love it a lot as it is -- a lot of the things that were “problems” were conversely able to give it a certain flavor you’d never be able to get in a more conventionally written series -- and I think it’s indeed a very flawed series in the sense that there’s no such thing as a perfect Digimon series, nor a perfect piece of media at all, and even if you “fix” one flaw you’re inevitably going to get another. It’s been 20 years and I’ve come to terms with all of the things I didn’t care for as much, so I don’t think it’s all that productive to dwell or fixate on “we should redo this again” instead of appreciating what it did give us 20 years ago and producing newer content instead. I mean, if I want to watch 02 again, I can just rewatch it, and if there’s something I want to explore that canon didn’t give me, I’m happy being a fanfic writer, and this experience of writing this blog has made me realize that it’s incredible how much you can still extract out of this series even 20 years later. I think it’s much more productive to try and cover new territory with things rather than constantly trying to redo the same thing over and over again. I suppose I took the theme of the series a bit too seriously?...

Whether they will actually do a 02 reboot or not, I have no idea. I think they’ve certainly learned their lesson that 02 has a diehard fanbase that hates to see it treated badly (after, ah, recent events), but it just doesn’t carry the same notability and branding that the original series does, and its critically controversial status means that their names and faces don’t do nearly as much by itself. (Reboot merch can sell because people will project the original characters on them, but Miyako and Iori merch especially tends to sell abysmally poorly even now.) I feel like the actual Digimon from 02 sell better than the human characters, to be honest. And it’s a new universe; 02 fans get upset when the juniors aren’t involved in the lives of their seniors when those relationships were a big deal (series about relationships, et cetera), but if those specific relationships don’t exist in the first place, I don’t think most of us really care as much to the point of getting upset because of the omission.

#digimon #digimon adventure 02 #shiha's ask box #sereyith

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im-the-punk-who · 4 years

Note

Hi! I’m new to the fandom and I’m simply curious (not trying to start a feud or anything), why don’t you like Steinberg?

Hello dear anon! And welcome to the fandom!

Oof. That’s a question. xD

I’m going to try and stay as uh. neutral as possible. Because I’ve already written the post I know I failed but, the intent in answering this is also not to start a feud or hurt anyone’s feelings.

Okay, so I got fairly negative in this chilis tonight, so I want to start by saying that even in light of the opinions I’m about to express, Black Sails is one of, if not my number one, favorite TV shows of all time. Certainly in recent memory - I’ve been hyperfixating on this show for 18 months with no sign of stopping, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for everyone who worked on the show - even Steinberg. (The one exclusion is Michael Bay, he can go twist.)

AND I think Stienberg is an incredibly talented writer. Black Sails is one of my favorite shows because it does such a wonderful job of weaving stories, creating characters, and melding things in a way that is both unexpected and makes sense narratively. I have changed as a person because of the show, and they will have to pry James McGraw and Thomas Hamilton from my cold dead knives-attached-to-them hands. None of what I’m going to say is meant to detract from that.

I will also say that a lot of these issues are not particular to Steinberg and are in fact a systemic problem with American TV + Film. And I’m not leaving Robert Levine out of my criticism, it’s just that Steinberg had the biggest hand in the pot(he wrote a full half the episodes) and a lot of what I’ve heard as far as talking about the show comes from Steinberg. So, he gets the brunt. But it isn’t that I think Steinberg was the only problematic element of the show.

Also, these are all my opinions and are colored by how I interact with my fandoms. I am not only a fandom veteran, but I work and pretty much live in the entertainment industry. I work in indie film and theatre and am surrounded by artists and creators of all walks of life, like, constantly. I know what is possible, and when I see something that can be improved, I want to note it because it is important to me to always be striving forward. Like Miranda says about Thomas, this isn’t out of malice, or out of hate. It’s because I genuinely love this show, and I love entertainment as a whole, and I think in order to get to a better, more inclusive industry we have to have hard conversations and look critically at the media we consume, and it is frustrating to me to time and again see the same faces in the room.

But if that isn’t your cuppa, that’s fine! Fandom isn’t meant to be stressful and if all you want to do is watch a show about gay pirates that is your tomato and I applaud you. Have at it you funky motherfucker.

OH! One more. At some point I’m going to talk about Silverflint. When I do, it is NOT meant as a ‘you shouldn’t/cant ship this’ or ‘this pairing is bad’ or any negative attack on the people who ship that pairing. My criticisms in this post are exclusively about what it means for Steinberg as a writer and Black Sails’ representation of gay and mlm men. While it’s not my cuppa, this is a sail your own ship blog.

OKAY! SO!

My main criticisms of Steinberg & Co boil down to:

The homozygosity of the writers and directors shows a complete lack of desire to include marginalized people in the writing of a show that is about them. Which leads to:

The centering of white men while choosing a historical setting and time period that was in fact dominated by people of color and specifically a black woman,

The gratuitous inclusion of violence against women, particularly sexual violence, and again, that the female characters are often sidelined for the central male characters.

SO.

Black Sails is a show centered around queer, female, and black leads, and yet there were only two non white-male directors (one bi-racial man and one white woman) and only 7 female writers - one of whom was Latina. The entire rest of the major creative staff was white men. I’m not going to comment on sexualities but none of the writers or directors are out as queer according to a quick google search.

Let me reiterate the important bit there.

In Black Sails, where the last two seasons specifically feature around a real, actually-happened-in-history event that shaped black history in the Caribbean, there was not a single black writer on the entire show.

This is the main difference between inclusion for inclusion’s sake, and actually centering marginalized voices. Black Sails has a ton of gay, POC, and female rep in front of the camera but practically zero representation behind it, which leads to storylines and implications that Steinberg and his writers, as white men, simply would never realize.

It’s like why Silver and Miranda never realized the true reasons James was waging war on England. They just did not have the life experiences to realize they were missing a piece of the puzzle, and so they filled in their own without even realizing they’d done so.

Because no one in the room of Black Sails was a part of these marginalized identities, nuances get lost or mistranslated, motivations get muddled through a white man’s gaze(or a straight person’s) and implications that someone within those communities might think is obvious won’t even come up.

And again, because there were no writers or directors of color in the last two seasons (the biracial man directed episodes 2x02 and 2x04 - WHICH MAKES SENSE IMO) the entirety of the historical lore that the show bases itself on in its latter half is filtered through a white man’s lens. And so there is no discussion of how changing something changes the meaning, how leaving someone out or changing their role to be more minor might affect people for whom that is their heritage. How the entire story they’re telling might change with one simple exclusion or addition.

So, how does this relate directly to Steinberg, you ask? Well, simply, because it was his show.

Steinberg(and Levine) were involved in every major decision about the show, from its conception, to the script, to choosing the writers and directors. They chose how they wanted the show to look, to think, what stories to tell and how they wanted to tell them. Their decisions(and the biases that formed those decisions) are woven into the show.

And look. I don’t for a second believe any of this was willful or malicious. I don’t think that John Steinberg and Robert Levine sat down one day and said ‘you know what would make the gays really angry? If we locked the only two canonically gay men up in a prison camp.’

But the decisions that were made in the show were based in ignorance in a way that shows more than just simple negligence or laziness(especially given the attention to detail in everything else). The things they leave out or change in the Maroon War plotline for instance are not small details easily missed. They are big, giant waving flags. They are things that are irreplaceable to still have the same events and stories and tell them respectfully.

It shows an insane amount of privilege to, for instance, write a show airing during a time when the Black Lives Matter movement was at the forefront of the American conscience, include black characters and black storylines, and yet not include a single black voice on their creative team.

In a show that centers a gay man’s love and his journey in attempting to process the horrible things done to him and his lover because of it, we are given just forty minutes of the entire show dedicated to their relationship - and just fifteen of those minutes actually feature the lover!

(Relatedly, the entirety of the gay romantic rep is two kisses, and a forehead touch. That’s the entirety of your gay intimacy representation. And yet there are in the first two seasons alone - because that’s all I’ve clocked so far - something like twenty seven minutes of scenes involving a naked or half naked woman. Five minutes of that is explicitly wlw sex.

Again, I just want to reiterate this because it’s important in recognizing bias.

There is fully twice as much female nudity in the first two seasons, as the entirety of the time the two gay characters have together on screen. )

Steinberg is a perfect example of how a lack of understanding why the diversity you are representing is important, matters. I dislike Steinberg because he, just like every other straight white cis man I have known, profited off of marginalized voices without including them or creating with them in mind.

Art does not exist in a vacuum. You cannot create something - especially something as back breakingly, intensely a labor of love as Black Sails - without putting several pieces of yourself into it. But those pieces color your narrative. They will expose things about you that you don’t even realize. And it’s in these places we are weakest, and why a diverse group of writers with a diverse group of experiences can help a piece be stronger. But for whatever reason, John Steinberg thought that he could make art with only people who looked and thought and experienced like him.

The lack of representation behind the camera in Black Sails was evident in front of it and yet Steinberg is out here getting to pretend like he created the most inclusive groundbreaking show that ever existed. It is important to me, personally, to acknowledge that. And that it kind of makes my skin crawl in the way all media made by straight white (cis)men makes my skin crawl. I wish I didn’t have to feel that way about my favorite tv show just because it was created by a man of privilege, but here we are.

SO. I hope that helped? Feel free to take what you want and leave what you don’t!

Below the cut is a more in depth look at things that I think show what I’m talking about, but that up there ^^ is the gist. <3 |D

SURPRISE!

The Maroons and the Maroon War

So the first thing I want to point out is that the Maroon War was a real thing that happened. It lasted ten years, and resulted in the most substantial victory the Maroons ever achieved against the British. Not only that, there was in fact a KICKIN’ badass female leader of the maroons named Queen Nanny, who is to this day honored as a national hero in Jamaica. While they weren’t able to drive the British out, the outcome of this war led to a mostly self-governing Maroon population in Jamaica from the mid 1700s on. This was a long term fight that had a very tangible and real outcome, even if it didn’t end in the destruction of colonialism.

And what is this war turned into in Black Sails? A white ‘madman’s revenge’ that is doomed to failure after six months.

That, my dear pirates, is a problem for me. (And those familiar with my brand of spiceyness know that I do not ascribe to the ‘Flint is a Madman’ trope, but that IS what Steinberg ascribes to, what he seems to have written the show thinking.)

There was no narrative reason to include the Maroon War in the narrative of Black Sails. The Maroon War didn’t happen until a decade after the Golden Age of Piracy, and aside from Silver’s wife being a black woman there is no mention of Silver ever having contact with them. To me, this feels like the choice of a showrunner who found a cool historical event and saw a chance to up the stakes of their white male heroes while getting in some sweet sweet POC rep.

Except that they then took the major events of the Maroon War and gave them to their white characters, Flint and Silver.

Here’s the thing. If you’re going to take a piece of culturally important history and use it for your show, you NEED to have sensitivity writers. You need to have people who are at least familiar with those events and who care about them to do them justice. Have an expert come in and read your script or go over your ideas. Or just like. Hire a black writer. Hire ONE black writer. As a treat.

The important Maroon figures, Nanny, Cudjoe, and Quao, all get sidelined or ‘sexified’ and then used as plot points for the white characters. Nanny gets split into two women - the older mother queen and Madi, the young naive warbent visionary. Quao(Mr. Scott is the closest, or Kofi possibly) gets killed off because the writers realized they didn’t exactly have a place for him in their writing. Cudjoe(Julius) gets a few scenes and one good speech but his entire role in the war gets given to Silver. And THEN. That sexy Queen Madi figure gets used as emotional bait for Silver and then has to learn he has betrayed her and destroyed the hope and freedom she had wanted to bring to her people.

Gross, pirates. Gross.

Anne Bonny/Max/Mary Read - a heads up, this section includes a semi in-depth discussion of both Max and Anne’s sexual assaults. If that bothers you, the paragraphs talking about that begin with a ***

COOL NOW LET’S TALK ABOUT LESBIANS. Words my 20 year old self would never have imagined coming out of my mouth.

Specifically, I want to talk about Max, and Anne, and their backstories both involving extreme sexual trauma at the hands of men. And then Mary Read and the once again sexification of female characters.

(Actually while I’m here another criticism I have of Steinberg is that his writing does not seem to recognize how queer people existed in the past - again, likely because he didn’t have any gay historians to be like ‘actually buddy that doesn’t make sense also why is Anne not dressing as a man? If you want to fuck with anything and insert modern day terminology and ideas into this show, make her non binary and REALLY piss off the hetties.’)

(This same ficitonal gay dramaturg who is definitely not me has also questioned John Steinberg repeatedly about where Mary Read is, unsatisfied with the answer ‘well we wanted her to be hot so we made her a sex worker and then had Anne have to rescue her but then we realized it would be weird not to include her actual character so we gave her a five second cameo at the very end of the series and also made her like 13.’)

Anyway! So my main point in bringing up Anne and Max is the sexual trauma they are exposed to in the show, particularly being that they are the two primary wlw in the show, who Steinberg has said he views as being completely gay, and what THAT whole unexamined idea looks like.

***Max. My dear Max. There was literally no reason to have her be repeatedly r*ped(and for the love of god there was even less reason to make it that gratuitous and graphic). Max being assaulted like that did not add anything to the gravity of Eleanor’s betrayal. The traumatic event was being tossed aside by Eleanor, and that could have been just as emotionally damaging without the sexual assault. And the only reason for her to be continually assaulted was to bring her and Anne together.

***The reason imo that Max’s r*pe plot was added was because it was the only thing these white straight men could come up with that felt emotionally damaging enough to them. The act of betrayal itself wasn’t enough, the act of being thrown away, of having a lover put your life in danger because of her own ambitions wasn’t enough, they needed her to be r*ped to really drive home the point.

***Anne, on the other hand, is never shown being sexually abused, but we are given an explicit account of her own traumatic history and how Jack saved her from this vile beast who was passing her around to his friends.

But here’s the thing pirates - that never happened. According to every account we have of Anne Bonny, she chose her husband, and married him against her father’s wishes. They were probably relatively happy until her husband started being a pirate spy and Anne started cheating on him with Jack.

And yes, when they were found out. Her husband had her beat. That’s not fucking cool, and if they really wanted to go the damsel in distress route they still could have had Jack ‘save’ her from that. But at no point was she sexually abused by her husband(at least not in any accounts I’ve read.)

You know who did likely sexually abuse her or at least manipulate her and Mary for his own benefit? If you guessed our Rat man Jack Rackham, you would be correct, because when he found out about Mary and Anne’s (supposed, but probably real) relationship, it’s implied he extorted both of them into fucking him to keep their secret from the crew.

The addition of sexual abuse to Anne’s past isn’t done to be true to her character and was in fact explicitly untrue. Now of course I don’t know the reasons why they chose to do this, but I can guess. Just as with Max, the most traumatic thing a male writer can think of for a female character is for them to be sexually abused.

And the most disturbing part of this to me? The parallels it has to the real world of why straight men think lesbians exist. These characters who would be called man haters in present day are given these incredibly traumatic man-centered histories. It brings up something very uncomfortable in me about particularly wlw sexuality being viewed as a reaction to trauma at the hands of men. It’s just gross, I dont like it, and honestly there is no fucking excuse for it besides a room full of white straight men writing this bullshit. A room that Steinberg chose, because they fit his ideas.

In Fact heck, the women of Black Sails in general

***I honestly struggle to think of a single female character who I think was treated fairly in Black Sails. Miranda and Eleanor are killed for taking sides and not understanding their partners, Madi is betrayed in the worst way possible, Max is given a pseudo empowering ending but has that fucking terrible start. Idelle ends off fairly well, but tied to a man she may or may not have any actual feelings for, in what is essentially a political marriage. And Anne has her entire identity tied to a man who will be dead in two years as she is robbed of any agency whatsoever without him. (Oh, and the whole r*pe thing. And also her support for Max’s r*pe or death until she started having fee-fees. Who wrote this stuff. >_>)

Even though the characterization of each and every one of these women is PHENOMENAL - and again I will repeat that I absolutely LOVE these characters as they exist in a vacuum. I think they are well rounded, real, feeling people given motivations and drives and FEELINGS and they SHOW THEIR ANGER and i LOVE THEM.

But the show punishes them for it. Miranda is essentially fridged to move Flint’s storyline along, and to make room for Silver. Eleanor is killed for the emotional damage it will cause Rogers. Madi is placed at the center of a conflict she explicitly says she is willing to die for and then not only is her entire cause taken from her, but when she tells Silver to fuck off he - in possibly the most predictable white man move ever - says ‘no i will stay until you change your mind. I will never leave you. I don’t care about your choice in this matter, I will wait forever for you. I’m your biggest fan. I’ll follow you until you love me. papa, - paparazzi.’

And I touched on this before, but I want to talk in more detail about what is possibly my hottest take to date, the sexification of Mary Read and Queen Nanny, as they are presented in the show.

Max is to Anne what Mary Read is, historically. She is the lover that Jack Rackham discovers with Anne, and then he joins them in their bed. They form a triumvirate that upholds Jack at the expense of the women. But for some reason, Steinberg didn’t want to just include Mary Read as an actual character. For some reason he needed to make Anne’s love interest a sex worker who was in need of saving (and who, coincidentally, we never see working the brothel after she becomes lovers with Anne, because she is now a madam. :) Gross.)

And Madi. My dear sweet fucking Madi who didn’t fucking deserve any of this bullshit send tweet.

So, historically, Queen Nanny was the Queen, spiritual advisor, and the military tactician of the Windward Maroons. She would have filled both Madi and the Queen’s character roles(and Flint’s, but who’s counting. A BLACK GAY LEAD? Inconceivable. I digress.) But, I guess, because they were wishy-washing with Silver’s sexuality or felt they needed to give him a female love interest because of Treasure Island, or because they were leaning a bit too hard into the gay shit and needed to backpedal, they took Queen Nanny and split her into a character who is for all intents and purposes powerless in the war and Madi, who is young and naive and does not have any real world experience outside of the Maroon camp.

Because that’s sexy, or something. They could have had the Maroon Queen be a fucking badass lady who works and fights alongside Flint and Silver and one ups them and teaches them shit and has her own ideas about where the British can stick it, but instead they made her into the perfect caricature of a female monarch, letting the big strong men handle the dirty work or something. Because white male power fantasies.

Just let women be powerful and not nubile and let them have character arcs over fucking thirty and let them be CENTERED in their own. fucking. narratives.

God damnit Steinberg.

James Flint, mlm extraordinaire

Oh, my love. My most amazing child. The light of my life. My purest cinnamon roll.

~~And now we’ve come to the dreaded Silverflint criticism part of our programming. Please please know and remember this isn’t a criticism of people who ship Silverflint. As I said up top, Your Tomato Is Not My Tomato and that’s cool. Please don’t take this next part as an attack on Silverflint as a fandom ship.~~

My criticism of Steinberg as it relates to Flint is related to:

What a romantic/sexual relationship with Silver being the basis of the tension and plot means for Flint in particular as a gay or mostly mlm man.

Refusing to confirm Thomas and James being alive at the end and honestly the whole finale in general but like I’ll try and focus.

The major problem I have with Silver and Flint being coded as in love with each other is the implications there in terms of gay men’s relationships to other men.

From every corner, men are inundated with the idea that any close relationship between them must be gay. That intimacy cannot exist unless there are sexual feelings involved. That a relationship cannot be close, deep and soul shattering and life altering, unless one guy secretly(or not so secretly) wants to bone the other dude. That two men cannot value each other as partners or friends or truly know each other unless they are gay.

Seeing both of the meaningful relationships Flint forms with other men be sexually coded feels a bit the same way as Anne and Max’s sexual assault plotlines does vis-a-vis being wlw. (Even with Gates, Flint never spoke about Thomas or his plans - Silver is absolutely the closest person to Flint besides Thomas and Miranda.) And this is just as true for Silver. Having both Flint and Madi - the two people he trusts - both be people he’s in love with also just feels. I don’t know.

It feels like a confusion between male intimacy and male love that is so so familiar to me as a gay man I could choke on it. Where they wanted these men to have a deep and really lasting connection, but could only figure out how to do it if they were in love. Friendship wouldn’t have been enough - only romantic and sexual love is enough for the gay man(or men, at all).

Just because it isn’t queerbaiting doesn’t mean it’s good rep, and I would have liked to see truly deep male friendships that did not center on sexual attraction - particularly for Flint as a confirmed mlm(and Silver too, if you’re counting him. The same arguments for why I dislike Flint being paired with Silver are also true in the reverse.)

Even if both Flint and Silver were confirmed mlm I still would have LOVED to see a platonic relationship between them. In fact I would have loved that EVEN MORE. Men! Who fuck men! Not needing to fuck each other to be important to one another! Who made this. Very delicious.

But because there weren’t any queer writers on the show, writers who understand this kind of struggle that gay and mlm men face, they thought ‘oh, let’s also have them be in love with each other. More gay rep is better gay rep, right?’ False. THOUGHTFUL gay rep is better gay rep.

Okay and here’s my last thing. The fact that Steinberg refuses to say whether or not the explicitly mlm men are alive at the end of the show - that the words he specifically uses are ‘up for interpretation’ is. Fuck, it’s gross, okay? It’s fucking gross.

I have been around enough men, enough people in power, enough people with leverage who also know how to play the field, to know that when someone wants a group’s support but does not agree with them, their go to phrasing is that it is ‘up for debate’ or ‘up for interpretation.’

Say the gays are alive. Steinberg refusing to acknowledge the reality of the ending of his show to maintain his own sense of artistic integrity is what, honestly, really sets me off about him and I don’t care if this is a nuanced take.

Like yes, death of the author. I honestly don’t care if he thinks they’re dead or alive. What I care about is that he thinks he can get away with being clever and leaning hard into a story is true/untrue’ - doesn’t realize what the implications of that are, and didn’t when he was writing, and didn’t have anyone else in the room who would think about it either.

ANYWAY. So this is....my long drawn out explanation for why I do not like Steinberg. Uhhhhh tune in next week for more of my totally unpopular opinions!

#good....fucking lord #i am so sorry #how many opinions can milo fit in one post #i mean i have more but yknow lmao #black sails #behind the black sails #milos black sails meta #long posts #my increasingly devoted attempts to find tumblrs word limit #Anonymous #john steinberg #js critical but the js is jon steinberg

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gingersnapwolves · 3 years

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Follow up fic-related post to my Untamed primer, for those who specifically read this whole thing in order to be able to read my fanfiction! Firstly, I’m flattered. Y’all are amazing. Secondly, here’s a handy dandy list of my fics that might help you get started. (There’s tons and tons of great fanfics in this fandom, though, so you should explore if you feel so inclined!)

First of all, um, I feel compelled to write a disclaimer about all my Xiyao fic lmao. Writing the last two sections of this I was like ‘ugh, Jin Guangyao is the worst’ but like ... he wasn’t always? It feels weird to say, but I ship Lan Xichen with Meng Yao but not Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao. Meng Yao was genuinely treated very poorly all his life and had legitimate reasons to be bitter and resentful, but he didn’t turn into a monster until after his father got a hold of him. I know that not everybody will agree with that! But I just want to say, after writing those last two chunks I wanted to clarify, yes, I write a ton of Xiyao, but it is all based around the idea that although Meng Yao is morally ambiguous and can absolutely be ruthless when necessary, with actual love and support he wouldn’t end up being so terrible, and I love the idea of turning all that conniving cleverness for good instead of evil.

Anyway, moving on!

I’ve written two fanfics that are complete AU, fusions with other media. These might help you get used to reading in the fandom without worrying about all the plot nuances and politics and such.

Like a House on Fire – loose fusion with 9-1-1, characters as first responders, Wangxian and Xiyao

The Weight of the World – fusion with Pacific Rim, Wangxian and Xiyao

Here are the others, by canon divergence point. Worth pointing out, I have actually only written one fic that take place in the latter half of the show (in fact, it’s post canon). Although some of my fics have young Wen Yuan or Jin Ling in them, I don’t generally deal with the 16 year gap because it’s just too damn depressing for me. So sadly, I don’t really write about the juniors. The juniors are great! And I’m sure there are great fics about them! But I’m invested in fix-it fic, which means making sure that 16-year-gap doesn’t happen.

Also probably worth pointing out: the older the fics are, the more likely I was to make factual errors in them. Like in my first fic, I didn’t realize Meng Yao’s mother was dead, because it’s never explicitly mentioned, and in several of my earlier fics I got the pieces of yin iron confused all to hell and back lol. Be kind. XD

Canon diverges prior to or right at the beginning of the timeline:

An Atypical Courtship – Meng Yao becomes a prostitute after his mother dies. Additional bonus AU because Wen Ruohan isn’t evil and there’s no war because I didn’t feel like dealing with it. Mainly Xiyao, background Wangxian.

The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen – Wei Wuxian is adopted by Wen Qing and Wen Ning’s family, instead of the Jiang sect. This might actually be a good one to start with as it covers almost the entire canon (pre-death canon) but just slightly to the left. Wangxian, Xiyao, Chengqing.

somewhere to belong (WIP!) – Meng Yao stays in Cloud Recesses for the lecture and makes friends. 3zun (the pairing name for Nie Mingjue/Lan Xichen/Meng Yao) and background Wangxian.

Canon diverges prior to the Sunshot Campaign:

hope dangling by a string – Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian end up psychically connected and it prevents a whole host of misunderstandings. Also covers a lot of canon but slightly to the left. Wangxian and Chengqing.

Canon diverges after the Sunshot Campaign:

No More Masks – Meng Yao isn’t legitimized and goes to live at Cloud Recesses after the war. If you want to know why I’m obsessed with Xiyao, this is the fic to read as it’s the one I wrote to specifically indulge. Mainly Xiyao, some Meng Yao/Xue Yang, background Wangxian.

Aftermath – Jiang Yanli kills Jin Guangshan in self defense when he tries to assault her. Without him around after the Sunshot Campaign, everything goes much better. Mostly focuses on the sibling relationships, but also has Xuanli, Wangxian, and a little light Xiyao and Chengqing.

The Lost Cause – Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao team up to murder Jin Guangshan. It’s more fun than it should be. Mainly gen, background Wangxian.

the cycle of regret – Lan Wangji gets stuck in a groundhog day loop of trying to save Wei Wuxian just before his death. Wangxian only.

Canon diverges after Wei Wuxian’s death:

picking up the pieces (WIP!) – Jiang Cheng is killed at the massacre of Nightless City instead of Jiang Yanli. She then convinces Lan Wangji to come live with her at Lotus Pier and raise their kids together. Actually fairly gen, Wangxian later.

The Way it Wasn’t – Jiang Cheng wishes that Wei Wuxian had never existed, only to find out that without him, they lost the war. Wangxian, Xiyao, Chengqing hints.

where do we begin (the rubble or our sins) – Wei Wuxian survives falling off the cliff, resurrects Jiang Yanli, and ends up with amnesia. Wangxian only.

Post canon:

the hardest part of ending (is starting again) – Wen Ning and Lan Xichen comfort each other after going through hell. Mainly gen, hints at future Ningchen, background Wangxian.

again, if you have any questions, either while reading the summaries or while reading any of my fics, feel free to ask me! <3

#the untamed #fic stuff

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jimlingss · 4 years

Text

Sugar and Coffee [5]

Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 5.5 OR Chapter 6

➜ Words: 4.2k

➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU

➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

cr.

Life won’t give you a break. The moment midterms are complete, you have to begin preparing for finals. While the urge to bury yourself underneath your covers and pull the blanket over your head has lessened, you still don’t want to venture out into the world. But there’s no way to resist the inevitable. You can’t let your schooling go down the drain — it’s the only thing you’ve got going for yourself after all. 5:49 pm. Jungkook: where u at bitch? 5:50 pm. Y/N: im on the toilet asshole 5:50 pm. Y/N: call me a bitch again and ill kill you 5:50 pm. Jungkook: Gross tmi 5:52 pm. Jungkook: can i ask you for a favour tho pls You wash your hands after wiping, flushing and pulling up your pants. 5:54pm. Jungkook: dont leave me on read 5:55 pm. Y/N: clingy much 5:55 pm. Y/N: the hell do you want from me 5:55 pm. Jungkook: lovely as usual 5:56 pm. Jungkook: I need the notes for comm 209 You scoff as you re-read the message. He has some audacity asking for your notes for a class he skipped on a Friday afternoon, probably to hang out with his friends instead. But before you tell him to gladly ‘fuck off’, you’re stopped by an idea. He needs something from you and there’s something you need from him. Now’s the perfect opportunity. “Tempering chocolate?” “Yeah. You want to be a Master Chocolatier, right? This is a great opportunity to teach someone how to do it. They say you know your stuff when you can teach others.” Jungkook rolls his eyes at your shamelessness and how you’re trying to milk him to your advantage. “Somehow I think this far outweighs the favour of me getting your notes.” “Do you want to help me or not?” “Do I want to?” He looks unsure but gives in to your will anyways, or at least he's curious enough to hear your troubles. “What’s your issue with tempering chocolate?” “It just doesn’t temper right. There’s no snap or shine to it.” “Do you measure the temperature with a kitchen thermometer?” “Well obviously, Jeon. Noooo,” you pull out the syllable, voice dripping of sarcasm. “I dip my hand in to tell. Duh! Are you an idiot? What do you think?!” At once, Jungkook’s expression washes over, becoming impassive. He spins around on his heel to walk out the door, but you grab onto his sleeve desperately. “I’m kidding. It’s a joke. Sorry. Help me?” He shifts around to look at you. You’re busy batting your lashes with those eyes of yours, trying to appeal to him — it disgusts Jungkook instead. It makes him feel sick to his stomach that you’re trying to act cute when you’re obviously a brat in disguise. Yet somehow he finds himself in the kitchen on a late Tuesday night anyhow, despite having class early in the morning the next day. “What method do you use?” Jungkook asks with crossed arms as you pull out the right materials, silver bowls, chocolate, thermometers, and a cooking pot. “Which is easier?” “They’re all the same,” he deadpans. Jungkook’s arrogance irritates you but you’re not about to insult him and have him running out of the kitchen, so you restrain yourself and start with the seeding method. You chop the solid chocolate you have into smaller pieces while he watches you in boredom. After a minute, Jungkook pulls out his phone and scrolls through his social media so he can mentally stimulate himself and not have his brain cells dying on themselves. “Only three quarters of it goes into the bowl to be melted,” he says without looking up. If he did, it would occur to him that you’ve already got it prepared and on top of the double boiler too. “I know.” “Do you want me to help or not?” “When I ask for it.” Jungkook’s eyes flicker up. “Well didn’t you ask for my help?” “Not now, Jeon.” You sigh. It was quite profound how quickly the bastard could get under your skin for doing so little. “God, you can be so fucking—” He suddenly puts his hand up to silence you and he sniffs with that big fucking nose of his. “Why do I smell burning?” Jungkook looks over to your pot on the stove and notices it steaming oddly. You follow his line of sight and take your bowl off, hissing at how hot it is. “Careful,” he scolds and looks over. Jungkook nearly facepalms himself into a coma. “Oh my god, you forgot to add water into the double boiler?!” “It’s because you were distracting me!” you shout at him and run over to the sink to add it in. The water begins burning as it hits the hot double boiler, sizzling and smoking even more. Jungkook groans. “You’re supposed to help me, not look at your phone! Maybe I would’ve realized if you actually paid any attention!” “Fine, fine.” You add an inch of water to the double boiler. It’s an improvement. But then as it begins to steam properly with the candy thermometer in the chocolate as you agitate it with a spatula, you look down and your blood runs cold. “Oh shit.” “What?” Jungkook sighs. Frankly, it’s impressive you’ve made it this far into the program. He didn’t know you were such an idiot in the kitchen — you might as well burn the whole place down and he wouldn’t be surprised. “How’d you manage that?” You rush to grab a paper towel, trying to dab the water that got into the bowl. But Jungkook clicks his tongue. “Don’t bother. You have to start again. If you get water into the chocolate, it makes it seize and becomes unstable.” “How do you know that?!” “Do you even read your textbook?” He is appalled and you pull out the cutting board to chop chocolate all over again, starting from the beginning. Jungkook sighs, spinning around his stool as you repeat the steps and put the chocolate over the heat. “You know what the temperature needs to be, right?” “A hundred fifteen. I’m not an idiot.” “I don’t know about that,” he chimes. “You forgot to add water to a double boiler.” Your arm drops to the side, putting the spatula down. “Okay, fuck you. I haven’t seen you actually give me good advice or anything. I asked for your help, not for you to berate me.” “What advice do you need?” His brow cocks upwards. “It’s pretty self-explanatory. Just follow the procedure and you’ve got yourself tempered chocolate!” “I can’t believe I thought you could ever teach me!” you hiss at him. “You’re a condescending asshole.” “Excuse me? Guess who’s with you on a Tuesday night?! I’m an angel for helping you!” “No one asked you to!” you scream back at the top of your lungs. Jungkook scoffs. Any other time where he wasn’t being attacked, he’d recognize that you were returning to your former self, but he still doesn’t appreciate your brattiness. “Are you kidding m— God! What’s burning now?!” Him and that giant nose of his inhales and a delayed moment later, it hits you too. The both of you whirl around to where the chocolate is burning. “You forgot to stir!” “It’s not like you reminded me to! You’re a distraction!” It’s excruciating. Jungkook has a feeling he’s going to be here all night, so he helps you speed up the process. While you clean up the mess, he chops more chocolate. And this time, you both manage to get it in the bowl, stirring, without anything burning whatsoever. The chocolate goes to a hundred fifteen degrees before you remove it from the heat and add the rest of the chocolate you reserved on the side. The temperature is brought down to eighty six degrees and then you put it back on the boiler to melt it all at ninety degrees. A strip test is done, a streak of chocolate made on parchment. And for a whole two minutes, you wait for it to set. But it doesn’t. “What the hell…?” Jungkook is genuinely perplexed and finally, he gets what you’ve been talking about. “See? It just doesn’t work!” He shakes his head, refusing to admit defeat. “It must’ve increased in heat before we added the other chocolate in. Let’s try again.” The pair of you chop chocolate across from each other, silent in your determination. But when you glance up, you see Jungkook’s brows furrowed, thoughts probably lost. You don’t see him serious often — well you do, but you never paid much attention to him before. Not like now. The process is repeated. The chocolate is melted to a hundred fifteen degrees and then decreased down to eighty six as you add in the loose chocolate, and then it’s brought back up again…. But then the temperature begins climbing — faster than you and Jungkook can react. “Fuck, fuck.” The two of you help each other take the bowl off the pot in urgency and then press your burning fingers to your ears before running it under cold water. “It went to a hundred? Do you think it’ll be okay?” “I don’t know. We have to test it.” The strip test is done, but the chocolate never sets. It stays wet. Dull. “Mother fuc—” “We’ll try again,” Jungkook reassures you with a hand on your shoulder. It’s painful having to re-doing everything and going way later into the night than you initially intended. You feel like you’re being driven crazy, but you’re glad Jungkook’s here with you — you know you’re not going insane alone. You look back at your textbook and your notes, making sure you’re doing it right and you hope for the best in the next batch. “It set….but it’s so streaky.” You look up at Jungkook who’s an inch away. He hums and leans down to get a closer look. “It’s bloom. The lipids moved through the cracks of the chocolate.” “You think it’s because the kitchen’s too hot?” “Yeah, we should try to put it in the fridge to cool.” One last attempt is made. It takes twenty more minutes and then it’s put in the fridge. But after the chocolate sets, there’s no shine or snap. Jungkook finds slumped on the floor, spooning chocolate, one of the failed attempts, into your mouth. You’re hugging the silver bowl in your lap like it’s your anchor. “I give up.” It feels like you’ve gone through a thousand batches. The kitchen is an absolute mess — spatulas and tasting spoons littered on the counter, double bowlers and bowls, wasted chocolate everywhere. There’s a sink-full to wash and that alone makes you want to cry. You slurp up more chocolate in an attempt to feel better. “Fuck chocolate.” But why does it have to taste so delicious? “I don’t understand why it’s so hard,” Jungkook admits with a frown. It just doesn’t seem to work with you. “It’s not rocket science. It was fine when I did it.” “Fuck you. You’re not supposed to boast. You’re supposed to help me.” “Was the last two and a half hours not helping you?” he questions. “You just have to watch your temperatures and keep practicing.” “That’s helpful.” “Hey, I’m trying.” Jungkook pisses you off. Everything comes so easy for him. As chocolate destroys you, he’s out here wanting to be a chocolatier. But maybe it suits him — chocolate’s an asshole and so is he. ��I’d like to see you try to caramelize sugar as well as I can, or better yet, pipe flowers.” The boy scoffs, looking down at you and your patheticness. You don’t even realize you have chocolate all over your mouth. “That’s easy.” “I worked at a cupcake shop for three summers.” You stand up on your feet, facing him head on. “You think you can beat me in piping flowers?” “I think I can do better than you can temper chocolate.” Jungkook smirks arrogantly, enough to push you off the edge. “Let’s bet on it then!” “Fine. How much?” You have a better idea than money. “Loser has to cover for the winner during the internship in May. Whenever the winner goes on break or makes a mistake.” He scoffs. It’s a big wager but it sounds delightful when he knows you’re going down. “Deal.” // It’s a busy Thursday, but that doesn’t stop any of you. Even after a long day of classes, sitting in lecture halls listening to theory to working in the kitchens, you find yourselves a spare kitchen space afterwards to finally put this all to rest. You won’t tell Jungkook that you practiced all of yesterday by yourself and actually got it to work once — you nearly started to cry out of happiness when the chocolate tempered. “You want me to make this?” Jungkook looks at the picture on your phone. “Yep. I made it last summer using buttercream. They’re peonies. Why? Think it’s too hard?” He scoffs. “As if. Watch, I’ll make it better than you did.” “Uh-huh. Keep talking, Jeon.” Jungkook eagerly takes on your challenge. While you take up half the kitchen, he manages the other half, and the two of you share the center island together. You get your double boiler ready, chopping up chocolate to melt while Jungkook mixes butter, vanilla, confectioner's sugar, and milk together. The fucker doesn’t even use a hand mixer. He simply uses a spoon to make it, blatantly showing off as his veins in his forearm pop. He smirks when he notices you staring and you roll your eyes. Jungkook makes a variety of colours, pastel pinks and baby blues, and puts them into the piping bag as you stir the chocolate over the heat. You focus on the numbers on your thermometer, but out of the corner of your eye, you watch him. He cuts squares of parchment, puts one on a flower stand, adds a small cone of thick buttercream to the paper, and then picks his tip. You muse that he must’ve been doing his studying when he chooses a one twenty seven tip. It’s a straight teardrop shape, and he squeezes while turning the nail wide ends towards the center, narrow end outwards. But he sighs after a moment, hands halting. It’s your turn to smirk. “Not so easy, is it?” His eyes flicker up to glare at you. “Keep a watch on that chocolate before you burn it again, brat.” You scoff, continuing to stir. You keep your heat low so the temperature climbs slowly. In the meanwhile, Jungkook switches his tip out for a one twenty and tries again. You take a glance, and it’s not too bad — still sloppier than yours and he knows it too. After a moment of frustration, he switches to a one twenty two. “You should check the consistency of that buttercream,” you sing-song. “Can’t be too stiff or soft.” “I’m fully aware.” “Are you?” You smile at him, mockingly so. “Just making sure.” Jeon Jungkook doesn’t appreciate you provoking him, but realizes it’s similar to how he treated you. It’s not his fault his forte isn’t in teaching. And yours clearly isn’t either. “A one twenty five?” You scoff. “Are you trying to make a rose or a peony?” Jungkook’s smile is stiff. “What do you suggest I use then?” “Go back to the one twenty seven tip or pick a curved teardrop shape. Also, you’re squeezing too hard too fast, muscle pig.” “I know something else I squeeze too hard too fast,” he mutters as he follows your instructions. “Go fuck yourself, Jeon.” “Didn’t need to spell it out, sweetheart, but that’s exactly what I do every night.” He smirks and you roll your eyes again. “God, you’re going to make me throw up all over my chocolate.” You take it off the heat once it reaches a hundred fifteen degrees, putting the rest of your chocolate in and mixing. You have a good feeling about this batch. Even if it’s your first try of the day too. Usually you’d rush, get too impatient, but it’s entertaining to see Jungkook struggle. Time goes by faster. You mix in your chocolate, bringing the temperature back up again, and you do a strip test when it’s all nicely melted, putting it in the fridge. All there’s left to do is wait a few minutes now. You come back, dusting your hands off, feeling confident. Meanwhile, Jungkook is still piping flowers with his thick brows furrowed, the tip of his tongue peeking out as he concentrates. “It’s taking you a while there, Jeon.” “Whatever.” He sighs, resting his hands on the counter as he rolls his neck. “You had a full three hours practicing with me on Tuesday. This is the first time in a while that I’m piping, alright? Give me a break.” “Uh-huh. All I hear are your excuses. Less talk, more work.” You grab some parchment and an icing bag he’s left abandoned in a cup. With a flower needle, you begin piping yourself to pass the time. It’s actually one of your favourite things to do — it’s therapeutic. You can listen to the sound of your own breathing and the crinkling of the piping bag while you make literal flowers from your hands. You break out of your focus to find Jungkook watching you intently. Your arm extends, showing off your flower with pride. “Pretty, right?” The icing flower has perfect ruffles and petals. It looks real, and by the expression he has, he’s already aware. Jungkook grumbles incoherently and returns back to work, making you giggle. You take another piece of parchment, but this time you steal a spatula-full of his blue icing and put it in the pink bag to make two-tone flowers. And you pipe them on, spinning the flower nail, as it comes to you with ease. You listen to the crinkling of the icing bag, your heartbeat in your own ears, the white noise of the quiet kitchen, and Jungkook’s breathing. You’re not sure what compels you, perhaps a sudden urge, but you quietly blurt— “I never stole your millie cake recipe.” “What?” His eyes flicker up and Jungkook finds you concentrating on piping, not paying him any mind. “The September incident,” you murmur out of the corner of your mouth. “I never stole your mirror glazed blueberry whatever millie cake recipe like you think I did.” Maybe you’re telling him because things are different now. You know he won’t jump down your throat and accuse you otherwise, for lying, or trying to cover yourself. Won’t denounce you. Bark out in laughter. Your relationship with Jungkook has become strange recently — you think it’s something other people would call a friendship. But you thought he should know. Just in case he still hates you for it. You know you don’t hate him so much anymore. “You threatened to go up to the Dean and expel me, remember?” Your pupils flicker up for a moment. Jungkook recalls it clearly — the confrontation in the kitchen, the fight that broke out, how you slapped him, how he was planning to do everything possible to get you expelled. How you were ostracized over the rumours for weeks until people forgot and moved on as they naturally did. But you and Jungkook never did. You always both remembered. “I went to Mrs. Ahn before she left on maternity leave. I was stuck — didn’t know what to add to my portfolio, so I asked her. And she gave me your recipe as a reference. Told me to give it a try. Gain inspiration from it.” You put your hands down, connecting your eyes with his. Jungkook is rendered speechless. “And that was when I saw you…?” “Yep. You busted into the kitchen without letting me explain and accused me of stealing your shit when I didn’t even know it belonged to you. I didn’t know you were the one who came up with it.” “Why…” He shakes his head, frowning deep enough that it hurts. “Why didn’t you say anything?” “You didn’t deserve it. The truth. I knew I was right and I was so….so mad that you could accuse me of stealing, that I could even be capable of such a thing. I wanted you to bring it up to the Dean. I wanted you to do it so you could be embarrassed when you realized what actually happened.” It’s all in the past now. Your anger doesn’t surge as much anymore, but you can still recall a time when you felt utterly enraged he could think so lowly of you — a time when Jungkook didn’t deserve your explanation, so you slapped him. In hindsight, it was probably a bad decision on your part. You escalated the situation when it didn’t need to and it spiraled out of control. You’re at fault for being rash and impulsive as much as he is. “It wasn’t like I was going to use it anyway,” you mutter with a sigh and pick up a new square of parchment to continue piping. “For inspiration or whatnot, much less add to my own portfolio. I swapped the blueberries for blackberries, and it turned out to be disgusting. I messed up on the glaze part too.” You muse, “Chocolate’s never been nice to me.” Jungkook absolutely baffled. Bewildered. All of this hatred against each other was caused by a misunderstanding. All of it which could’ve been avoided. “I—” “Wow, are you kids practicing your techniques?” Miss. Kang is at the door, visibly impressed as she regards you both. “And here I was on my way home. You two are so diligent! And look at you both working together like this! I always knew you put your differences aside and be friends.” “You have great timing, Miss. Kang.” You smile at her. “Jungkook and I were just having a friendly contest. Would you like to be our judge?” “Sure. I think I can spare a moment or two.” She steps in, looking around. “What are we doing here? Looks like someone was tempering chocolate and you’re….piping! Goodness, me. Did you make those, Y/N? They’re very lovely.” “Thank you.” You grin, beaming from the praise of your piping skills. “But the contest was me tempering chocolate against Jungkook piping.” You move over to the fridge, taking out the metal tray with your strip test. You hand it to her, and she hums. “Very shiny, and it slides right off the parchment!” she exclaims. For the final examination, the young female teacher bends the chocolate and it audibly snaps. You could burst out into cries of happiness. “Looks tempered to me.” You look over at Jungkook, head quirked to the side, wearing a big smile that’s infectious enough to make him grin too. “Here’s my piping.” He places the parchment on the counter and she leans over to study it, humming. “Not too bad, Jungkook. A little messy around the edges, but I’d say a job well done. If this was an actual exam, I’d give you full marks.” Jungkook cocks a brow towards you, sly smirk on his face. You step forward. “So which is better?” “Well, it’s very difficult to judge on tempering chocolate and piping since they’re two completely different things. I’d say it was equal.” “If you had to pick one?” you ask, desperate for a winner to be proclaimed. Miss Kang hums a long note. You and Jungkook are put in suspense, anticipating her final decision. She taps her chin, deciding to chew on your chocolate as she studies the flower. Finally, the teacher nods. “I can’t complain about the chocolate — it’s a hundred percent tempered. But I can say the piping needs a little more work, so…” “I win!” You give Jungkook a cheeky grin causing him to scoff lightly. “It was a stroke of luck.” “Keep telling yourself that, Jeon.” “It’s a tie,” he insists, “She said only if she had to pick.” “That’s true.” Miss. Kang backs him up before you can retort. But you still pout. “Sore loser. I win and you know it.” “Hmmm.” Jungkook playfully shakes his head. “Don’t think so. Let’s just call it even, Y/N.” “Nuh-uh. That’s not how it works!” The pair of you argue back and forth — yet there’s no real malice. It’s simply banter and it causes Miss. Kang to laugh. She bids her farewell and quips that you both better get the kitchen clean. In the end, Jungkook compromises. He still insists it’s a tie but he does the hard work of cleaning the dishes and you give into his will. As you prepare the mop water, he scrubs the bowls. “I’m sorry,” Jungkook pipes up after a second of quiet contemplation. He turns his head to look at you. “For the misunderstanding.” “You don’t have to be sorry.” You divert your vision elsewhere. “Not anymore. You’ve given me more reasons to be thankful. So we’ll call this even.” Jeon Jungkook smiles softly. “Deal.”

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenario #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #jungkook baking AU #jungkook baking!AU #btsboulangerie #Y'ALL THE FLUFF AND UWU IS SO MUCH I CAN BARELY TAKE IT

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gemmassong · 3 years

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So uh. It’s 4:17am and I know literally no one cares but I just finished watching Bo Burnham’s new special and like, holy shit. I have some Feelings. And this is my fucking tumblr so unfortunately anyone who follows me can and will be subjected to those Feelings. Apologies in advance. I blame my high school English teacher for this, who I had for freshmen, junior, and senior year, because that cunt made as analyze and pick apart not just books but documentaries, movies, and other pieces of media to such an extreme degree I still blame her for a lot of my academic burnout and inability to really engage with my college courses because what was the fucking point. If I could write the best paper in the class and still not get a full score when my classmates with less well written shit did because I ‘wasn’t reaching my full potential or putting in as much effort as required’ why should I bother.

Off topic. I’ll put the rest under a cut to be vaguely courteous because this is going to be a lot of semi-organized rambling that I’m putting here mostly so I can stare at it in baffled, disgusted horror at ~2pm tomorrow when I go back and reread it. And then decide not to delete it anyway because hey, I don’t delete anything because I enjoy tormenting myself years down the road.

I grew up with Bo Burnham, yeah? I knew all the lyrics to New Math when I was in middle school and you can bet your ass I understood like, four verses at the time I first started singing it. And I remember the vivid pleasure of going through high school and hating math because I suck at it (ayooo failed out of Calc senior year first semester~ (they weren’t called semesters in hs they were some quarterly thing but I don’t fucking remember the right term)) and the absolute joy realizing how one of those verses were clever was brought me. Like, every time I understood a new verse in New Math it made my entire day so much better.

And then the summer after my first year of college I, for some fucking reason I cannot fathom now, 20 year old me thought it was a brilliant idea to decide to watch What. with my parents while we ate dinner. I had seen What. before. I knew what the contents entailed. I was apparently 100% down to watch him pretend to jack off on stage while eating taco salad in the living room with both of my parents who were so closed mouthed about sex that I got literally my entire sexual education from fanfiction.

And then my cat had a seizure literally right before that scene so fate helped me escape that hell for some reason, and yes, Siren was fine after a very scary night.

But like. Still. What the fuck, 20 year old me. Why did you set yourself up for the mortifying experience of watching a comedian mime jacking off while sitting next to your mother. Why.

So anyway. Bo Burnham was peripherally a part of my life for a very long time. I’ve always really liked him. I wish he had made more vines while vine was still a thing because the ‘is there anything better than pussy’ one still cracks me tf up.

I saw a post here at some point about how the new special made someone feel like they’d just watched his suicide note. And I didn’t take it seriously, because yeah, Make Happy got kinda serious and stressful there at the end but like?

Maaaaan am I glad I watched Inside though, despite being vaguely concerned. I totally get where that person was coming from. It does kinda feel like that. At the same time though, I just have this feeling that Inside is going to be important.

Here’s where I finally get to the actual fucking point of the post.

Collectively, entertainment media is desperately trying right now to figure out how the hell to handle the pandemic. Ignore it? Pretend all media now exists in a universe where the shitstorm of 2020 didn’t exist? Most of the ones that I’ve seen have gone down what I consider the absolute worst route, which is of course terrible fucking writing that kind of? addresses the pandemic and shit that went down, but like, with clunky dialogue and really bad jokes. I’m mostly talking about the Roseanne spinoff/sequel/whatever the fuck it’s considered, of which I watched half an episode of and then silently begged my fiance to let us leave his mother’s house because she was laughing at it and it was genuinely, horrifically painful. This is why I don’t watch tv anymore.

ANYWAY. He never mentions it. Not once. There are plenty of really relevant things discussed and pointed out and I think one? mention of the actual year 2020 but beyond that. Nothing. And I feel like Inside might be one of the most genuine, visceral, real pieces of media portraying the pandemic that we, as an American society anyway, are going to come away from this all with. At least everyone in my own admittedly piss poor social circles has spent like last ~year and a half doing that social media thing where the more you post about how well you’re doing and great it all is, the more miserable and bad off you really are.

(Yes, that is how I judge my ‘friends’’ relationships on facebook. The more pictures/posts/tagged shit/social media demonstrations of how ~amazing~ and ~in love~ and ~perfect~ everything is, the worse I assume the reality is.)

But Inside strikes as very, very real. And I just feel like 20 30 40 50 years from now, when we’re talking about the 2020 pandemic and how it shaped and shifted and effected and destroyed people and society, it’s going to be a very important piece of media. Because so far, anyway, it’s the first one I’ve seen where you can actually see it all go down. The absolute fucking breakdown so many of us went through. Dealing with worsening mental problems that had previously been getting better, lost progress, ruined plans and dreams and missed opportunities and everything else.

It’s the first one that strikes as real, I guess. As not manufactured. Not tailored to portray the ‘correct’ message. Not diminishing or exaggerating anything but just... showing. Existing within the reality of the year. And not being apologetic or ashamed about it.

I’m glad he actually went through with putting it out into the world. That probably took a whole lot to do, and I hope good things get to him for going through with it all. For completing it and giving it to the world. It was visceral and raw to watch and my piss poor attention span that needs 20+ tabs open at all times actually sat there and watched it, in full, all the way through in one go. Without pausing to read a fic, watch something else, check facebook or tumblr, answer a roleplay, or skim through omegle to see if anyone good was online. That’s like, unheard of these days.

I just. I dunno. There’s a lot there to breakdown. A part of me wants to do it, take the time and write the analysis and the breakdowns and pick out what I think the important bits are. But I hate doing that now and I’m sure the desire will be gone come afternoon-morning, along with all these weird feelings about it.

This has gotten long enough and it’s 4:47 now, so half an hour of word vomiting into a tumblr post is probably too much. So I guess I’ll call it quits and maybe maybe not delete this when I wake up. Night, anyone who actually suffered through reading this mess.

#Maddie talks #Weird thoughts mostly #Don't expect anyone to actually read but hey #that's not what this blog is there for so why not word vomit just for my future self

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