#like. them and their hit and miss shitty amazing writing and seasons have been such a constant in my life for YEARS NOW. shows end are

[londonspirit]

No day but today...

... rather apt today. 

Just saw the German version of RENT this afternoon, and it was amazing! (Go and see if you can.) 

Never wrote my New Year’s note this late on the day. (Didn’t really feel like doing it at all today but then -as always- i just started and here we are!) 

What a fucking year! What a FUCKED up year. What a GREAT year.  As always lately, it’s been all over the place. 

2023. 

The year our mom died. The year we lost the last family member that’s not a sister. Now we’re truly on our own. It still hurts, mostly because of the holidays. You get through the loss, especially if you don’t really have time to properly grieve because you have to take care of soo many things, dissolve the place your parents (and you) lived for the past 40 years, take care of all the things that need to be done, and say goodbye to being your parent's child.

Fuck, just writing this is painful as fuck. But hey, it’s New Year’s Eve - last day of the year, reveling in all the things that happened, so tears are very much allowed.

So yeah, losing mom was just horrible but as always with me there’s a BUT. 

There were the most beautiful friends that got me through this. The most wonderful souls that helped me deal with a loss nobody should go through and yet we all have to. 

I love you all so fucking much, you have no idea!!! Thank you for being there for me. 

Seeing Robbie Williams live again was an amazing start to the year. That man's never been happier on a stage and it showed. (Which is funny, sometimes things come rather late in life!)

Seeing the usual suspects at Fed Con is always the highlight of my year! And this year even more so! 

There were six glorious summer days in London. Meeting and hugging friends, enjoying the most beautiful city, exhibitions and theatre; and seeing one of the most hilarious people who I’ve NEVER thought I’d ever see live. (Stumbling into the MI premiere on my way to the Rhys gig was just a cherry on top of a rather epic gig already!). Hearing the wonderful Elliot Page read from and talk about his book was inspiring as hell; and seeing the lovely Toheeb Jimoh giving a breathtaking Romeo just rounded up a much much needed London trip. 

Here’s hope I’ll be back very soon - it’s been too damn long again. 

Spending a much needed and way too short day on the beach with my darling sister? Fucking priceless - I didn’t even know I needed that as much as I did. We’re definitely doing that again!!! I’ve forgotten how fucking healing the ocean is. 

Speaking of ocean: MORE PIRATES!!! Yes, of course there’s them, to help and heal some more, giving me back all the SQUEE and FEELS that can make the shitty things just a tad better!!! Here’s to an announcement for  Season 3 VERY SOON!!! We (read: the world) NEEDS more queer pirates to brighten our dark days!!! There's NOTHING BETTER to keep one's spirit high!

And another thing I NEVER thought may happen, just fucking happened. Going to Amsterdam with a dear friend for a gig (and some dutch culture) and then just hanging about for shits and giggles because we didn’t have anything else planned for the night. And then actually MEET the loveliest Noah Reid, TALKING to him, thanking him for coming over and getting pics with him? Yeah well, nothing I had on my 2023 bingo card. 

But then again, NOTHING that happened this year was on there so yeah… 

Losing our beloved family cat also hit very hard but he was old and ill. And he had a very loving home despite having to move so there’s that. I still miss the pitter patter of his paws and his enraged meow’s at 5 in the morning. (Yes, there will be a new one - soon. I just want to renovate first!) 

But it’s also the small things that made this year not entirely horrible. 

Random greeting cards, texts and calls from dearest friends to cheer me up. You guys don't even know how much i love you all! I hope I can repay you ALL this coming year because you fucking deserve the freaking world!!!

Spending time with my sister and forgetting the world for one glorious sun-filled, salt-tasting afternoon in the sea. 

Chats and zooms with beloved friends, giggling about silly things and trying to keep each other going through the hard times but also the good. 

Looking back at 2023 with about an hour to go, at home, calm and cozy in bed, waiting for midnight (slightly tipsy because WINE!), is something new for me. Usually we’ve been to the parents for Christmas and New Year’s.  Now we have to come up with something new, something for US, and we will. Next year. For now I can’t wait to see the backend of 2023. 

I have high hopes for 2024. 

Seeing more friends, the ones I haven’t seen in a while, and the ones I see on a regular basis. Because there’s nothing more important than the people around you, keeping you going, holding you when shit goes down and cheering you on when good things happen. 

Traveling more, without the worries which will be a change.

Maybe…finally going to see the Bestie on HER home turf (haven’t told her that one yet, but that’s a thing I want to do!).  

So… 

That’s the annual look-back. Tears were shed writing this, but there were also smiles. Because in the end the only things that matter are the memories we make - good AND bad. 

Again: No Day But Today. 

Hug your loved ones, tell them you love them. Make amends if you need to. End things that needs to be ended. Live your life to the fullest because we all only have this one life.

Make it count, people. Make it fucking count!!! 

Happy New Year. May 2024 be a fantastic one! May it be peaceful and happy, with all the wonderful things still to come!!! 

[thelonelynindroid]

Rewatching Ninjago is always so emotionally taxing bc Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon is actually my blorbo of all blorbos ever and when I haven't seen ninjago for a while I just. Forget that. Then I sit watching the characters for a little while and get hit by an actual fucking hurricane and it's like. What the fuck what the fuck what the F

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

[spectral-kitkat]

Miraculous Rant.

Where the hell do I begin…

Season 1:

The show was decent in season 1. Some episodes were just mindless filler and probably weren’t needed in the grand scheme of things but they helped us get introduced to the characters, we got to know the plot and the world our characters inhabit. It was good. The love story between Adrien and Marinette was cute and off to a touching and fluffy start.

Season 2:

This season was immediately better than season 1. It had character development, it went more into detail about the lore surrounding the Miraculous and we got to learn more about our characters and their families and the villian’s motives. (HM really went from “I wanna destroy the world” to “I wanna wake my wife from the coma she’s in”).

We got to see new heroes which was fun! We got new characters like Luka and Kagami.

The season finale was epic! The Miraculous team all taking down all the previous villains in the show was awesome. At the end we even got Mari kissing Adrien on the cheek. It was great! (Even though it clearly reset itself in season 3 cause it’s never mentioned again)

I really enjoyed season 2 and it’s probably my favourite out of the 4.

Season 3:

Season 3 was kinda good and kinda bad. We had some great episodes but this is where the show took the wrong turn.

Marinette lost some of her character in season 3. This was the start of her descent into being the Queen of Mary Sues. It’s also where she was crowned the Queen of Stalkers! Her character took a fucking nose dive in this season. We had so many moments that just creeped me the fuck out.

1. The ENTIRETY of Puppeteer 2 🤢🤢🤢 I could not stand that episode. When we reached the dreaded statue scene I physically had to pause it like 10 times. That scene takes about 3 minutes to watch… it took me about 20. I cringed so fucking hard because of the secondhand embarrassment I was feeling. That was not sweet, it wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t the least bit cute… it was a train wreck! It was creepy and stalkerish and it’s a wonder Adrien even spoke to her again after that atrocity!

2. LB delivering the present in Chat Blanc. Two words: STALKER BEHAVIOUR!!! I genuinely could not believe my eyes when I saw LB run her hand across everything in his room and then actually SNIFF Adrien’s pillow. Like WTF!!! 🤮 I’m pretty sure whoever was responsible for that scene clearly thought it was the equivalent of when someone gets their S/O’s jumper or something and it still smells like them. But this turned it up to the nth degree and way passed the line of sanity.

Adrien was extremely under-utilised in this season. He didn’t really do anything. The only episodes we got about him didn’t really focus on him. ‘Felix’ whilst focusing on Adrien’s family didn’t really feature him. ‘Party Crasher’ while a beautiful mess was more about Mari trying to get into the party than the party itself. ‘Chat Blanc’ again focused more on Mari trying to fix her mistake.

We got even more heroes in season 3, not in the right order but they were there. It was fun seeing everyone’s transformations.

Season 3 was also the season of destroying redemptions. The big one obviously being Chloe. Season 2 was setting up this amazing redemption for her and before it could go anywhere it was wiped off the face of the earth during the finale (and don’t worry we’ll get to that dumpster fire later). Gabriel also had any remaining sympathy ripped away from him. How did the guy who stopped Gorizilla from letting Adrien die when he only thought he was CN go from that to using his son like fucking baseball in Chat Blanc when he knew his son was CN. Like I knew you were a shit father but you still cared about Adrien in some way shape or form but after that episode I can see I was clearly mistaken!

Before we get to the finale I want to talk about probably my 2 least favourite episodes from this season: Desperada and Reflekdoll

Desperada:

I fucking hated this episode! The only good thing was Luka getting to be Viperion, other than that this episode was awful!

Marinette was a selfish cringey bitch. Completely ignoring Luka to gush about Adrien to Jagged. Brushing Luka off as soon as Adrien turns up. Immediately cuddling up to Aspik and flirting with him when she needed to focus on the akuma (something which she has told CN not to do many times before)

Adrien, I love you kid but Jesus Christ you were a dumbass in this episode! Aspik’s design was terrible! Aspik himself was awful. I know Adrien tried his best but dude you were given the Black Cat miraculous for a reason! He shouldn’t have tried to be Aspik but even when he did he should’ve called it quits after like 5 resets not 25,913 times.

The only person with a brain this episode was Luka. So well done guitar boy, gold star!

Reflekdoll:

This episode was annoying! It was basically the start of the Marinette can do no wrong streak! When they have to swap miraculous I was happy cause it meant we got to see new outfits and see how they each handle the different powers. It would also serve as a way to get LB and CN to see what their partners role is first hand. Until we actually get to it…

LadyNoire is of course amazing and needs no introduction to using this new miraculous that she’s never used before. She’s cocky and confident and basically just LB in Chat’s costume with his powers.

Mister Bug on the other hand is just useless. He struggles with this new miraculous (like anyone would!) and is stupid and goofy. He has to rely on LadyNoire to solve the lucky charm. They swapped miraculous so shouldn’t that mean that Mister Bug should get the lucky vision and the creative powers that the earrings give him.

Overall Reflekdoll is awful. It was shitty writing and the start of Adrien getting the short end of the stick.

And now the season 3 finale… Just what the fuck. That is my only reaction: what the fuck!

Chloe you poor fucking child! What did they do to you!!! So much potential SQUANDERED!!!!

What was the point in bringing in all these different superheros with unique skill sets, costumes and transformations if you were just going to immediately reveal them to the main villian so they can’t be used again. That’s stupid! If you wanted the shock value that is “Oh no HM knows some of the heroes identities!” Then keep it as only some. Have like Max, Kim and Kagami outside trying to find somewhere to hide but unfortunately they get hit. Or Nino and Alya are hiding but the windows open and they get hit. Have some of the heroes hide so they’re fine! Taking away every ally of LB and CN’s was a stupid move! (Even if they wanted Alya to become a spy have her as part of the like 4 that get revealed or something, it’s not that difficult)

Season 3 was 50/50 for me

Season 4:

So I know season 4 isn’t even halfway through yet but so much is wrong with this season already that I need to vent!

So my biggest problem with this season of Miraculous: Tales of Ladybitch and Rena Rouge, I mean Rena Furtive… shit, Chat Noir! Is that CN is basically pointless! Adrien has been flung over a rainbow and is only remembered when he’s needed as

1. Marinette’s love interest

2. Someone for LB to shout at

3. A plot device

He has basically been sidelined. Partners my ASS!!!

Adrien is being blown off by pretty much EVERYONE! It’s coming to a point where this poor sweet summer child is going to crack! And it is not gonna be pretty… I definitely feel like the writers are leading up to a big fight between CN and LB which will probably end with Chat Blanc 2.0.

I REALLY HATE MARINETTE/LADYBUG!!!! In Season 3 I said it was the beginning of her descent, well in season 4 she’s done it. She’s descended, she has hit rock fucking bottom. She is so unlikable I don’t actually care about her as a person. She has entered full blown stalker territory it’s only a matter of time before she starts killing people for even looking at Adrien! Not to mention that Miss Mary Sue here can’t do anything wrong! She never has to suffer the consequences of her actions, she is always perfect no matter what she does… it pisses me off!)

She’s the Guardian now big whoop. I know what it feels like to be stressed and under pressure so I do understand why she needed to tell someone about it all. I just don’t see why that person had to Alya! Especially considering she has someone by her side every akuma attack going through pretty much the exact same thing. I know she’s worried about CB happening again but as I said before the more she leaves him out the more she is actually pushing that to become a possibility! Plus it makes sense for them to reveal their identities now since LB is now the guardian it’s probably a good idea to know who holds the cat miraculous, she knows everyone else’s identities!

Even if she didn’t want to tell CN her identity she could still explain the situation to him. If she didn’t want to tell him anything (which she doesn’t anyway) then instead of Alya she should’ve talked to Luka! Her boyfriend for all of half an episode (thanks writers…). He’s so sweet and caring and clearly loves her so much! If she wanted someone to confide in then why not choose the person you clearly wanted to date but couldn’t because of that very reason! (Yeah I know it’s kinda a moot point now since Luka knows both identities but still). He wanted to try and comfort her so it would’ve been the perfect moment for it. That way you could still date him and he’d know why you had to suddenly leave dates halfway through! But no break the boys heart instead!

Adrien and Marinette were both such fucking idiots in the first 2 episodes. Like why would you start a relationship with someone when you know your heart isn’t in it! That’s called leading someone on and is a really shitty thing to do to someone! No wonder Kagami and Luka ended up akumatized!

Another aspect of season 4 I don’t like is Rena Furtive. Yes ok having a spy for your side is a good strategy but when said spy basically tells an important member of a duo that the 2 person job doesn’t involve them… it just really ticks me off! Alya you are the sidekick to LB and CN! Chat isn’t!

Miraculous specials:

The Miraculous World specials suck! Shanghai is better than NY but still has its problems. Both specials add nothing to the overall plot/lore of the show apart from trying to set up some weird cinematic universe…

NY special:

One of the worst things I’ve ever had to sit through! The plane scene alone I paused a few times. I want to say well done to Mari for trying to move on from Adrien (especially considering I’m pretty sure she’s dating Luka at this point) but I can’t help but think it’s just to give her character some pointless development that goes nowhere and doesn’t actually develop anything!

LB can pretty much fuck off at this point! I hate her! She put all this shit on CN (like she doesn’t know exactly how that feels). It’s like why does she get to go off on holiday but CN can’t. LB should’ve stayed in Paris for 3 reasons:

1. She’s recently become the guardian meaning it would probably be best that she stayed with the Mircle Box

2. She’s the only one who can purity the akumas

3. If she’s so sure about being the boss then she should take responsibility of Paris and the citizens.

What really pisses me off about her is what she says to CN during the big fight. “I can’t trust you”… surely you could have this conversation afterwards since you’re supposed to be focusing on taking down the villian! Plus everyone bashes Adrien for giving his miraculous up in this episode but look at it from his point of view: His partner and best friend just said she couldn’t trust him which in turn caused him to cataclysm someone and essentially kill them. That’s gonna take a toll on anyone, especially a 14 year old! He probably thought in that moment. “Ladybug needs a partner she can trust and someone who won’t mess up and kill someone. She needs a better partner.” It makes sense he renounces his miraculous! I’m just upset that in doing so he loses Plagg who is pretty much his only friend who actually understands what Adrien goes through at home.

When Uncanny gets CN to come back, LB acts like it’s not her fault in the first place that he feels inadequate! She didn’t even apologise for saying what she did! He apologised for lying about not being in Paris but nope LB wasn’t in the wrong at all and didn’t have anything to apologise for 🙄… (yes the LadyNoir hug was amazing but I just wish it was under different circumstances!)

Also are we not gonna mention Gabriel Agreste almost starting WW3??? He wanted to launch a fucking missile!!!

Shanghai:

As I said before, this special is way better for several reasons.

We got MariChat! (Best side to the love square imo). This special actually had some semblance on a plot. Fei, whilst a bit op, was a cool character. It was nice to see Wang Cheng again.

However once again there were many problems.

A big one being Marinette yet again! (What a shock! 😒 I’ll come back to this). Another was that once again HM’s motivation has changed. How is getting the Prodigious gonna help bring back Emilie??

Back to Marinette… The fact that the words “Huh?! There must be some kind of mistake! I always know what's up with Adrien! … His 5 first names and every corresponding name date, his yearly schedule, even his shoe size! If there were anything to know about him, I would know it!” come out of her mouth whilst she is flipping through his schedule that she keeps in her pocketbook is a hugh red flag!!! That is not cute or adorable! That’s messed up and Adrien needs to fucking run and maybe possibly go into witness protection… Marinette is a full blown stalker! Not to mention the GPS she has (that could just be the find my friends app on iphone but still).

It also is extremely rude of her to use not only her great uncle’s birthday but also a lie about wanting to know her Chinese heritage in order to go to Shanghai to stalk her obsession, I mean crush. This could’ve been avoided if the Dupain-Chengs were going to Shanghai for the purpose of celebrating Wang Cheng’s bday and then Adrien just so happened to be in Shanghai.

Also this means LB left Paris without telling CN! I know CN did the same but again he can’t purify the akumas. Plus he has a reason he couldn’t stay in Paris, Mari just went cause her crush did. Great guardianship there Marinette.

This was also the last time CN actually did something. Even if it was for a short while before LB and her female partner took over (the beginning of a theme…)

Other things:

There are 2 other things that I wanna say but felt they needed a separate bit.

In Furious Fu, Su-Han has a rule book that he uses to tell Marinette which rules she has broken. At the end of the episode he tells her that is she breaks 1 more rule that he will take the Miraculous and the Miracle Box off her, which fair enough but wouldn’t it be helpful to leave the rule book with her?! How can she be wary of not breaking anymore rules when she doesn’t even know what the rules are??

Now the big one: Master Fu…

Where do I even start with him. He is so fucking manipulative!! He is Asian Dumbledore!

He decides to leave these extremely powerful jewels in the hands of 13 year olds! Surely leaving the miraculous to someone in their 20s would’ve been better!

He clearly favours LB over CN even though the Ladybug and Black Cat are supposed to be partners! Wouldn’t it make sense for them both to be in contact with the guardian from the start?? He randomly started introducing rules such as if LB and CN find out each other’s identities they would lose their miraculous… what kind of bullshit rule is that? It also came out of fucking nowhere!

Final Thoughts:

But to summarise all of that: Miraculous is on quite a steep decline but I’m invested at this point and I am genuinely curious as to where the fuck this will go.

Marinette needs professional fucking help before the writers even consider canonising Adrienette cause at the moment she is not what Adrien needs!

Adrien needs to stand up for himself! He needs to pull LB to the side and tell her what he feels and what he’s going through cause he is on the precipice of a breakdown!

(Small point that’s more to do with the fandom: when searching for fanfics it’s really annoying that Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir Bashing is a tag but Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug Bashing isn’t. Why does everyone think Marinette can do no wrong???)

[deberiaestarescribiendo]

Hit me with your best shot

A/N: Hey! I saw the #WritersWednesday challenge on @autumnleaves1991-blog blog and thought it was an amazing opportunity to let the creativity flow and though I just started showing my works on here I guess giving it a chance wouldn't hur anybody and maybe some of you would enjoy this as much as I did writing it. And on that note, I'd like to thank every writer on here because your works have helped me a lot during these weird times; and of course speacilly to you @autumnleaves1991-blog for this and your "You're my best friend" series that made me cry, yearn (so much yearning) and loved every single minute of it, thank you!

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female character ( I decided to leave her very undeterminated as it's narrated on Javi's perspective I decided to use she/her pronouns, but I guess you could read it as a f!reader?)

Summary: Post-season 3, Javi and the character go on a date to Laredo's funfair (You could read this as a small piece on its own or as a part of the series I'm currently writing; if you're interested is on my blog and I haven't posted much since I opened it)

Warning: None (let me know if I should mark something) fluff! maybe some kissing...

Another thing! I've just finished this, so brace yourselves for some mistakes and mispellings, sorry

(I was listening to Kacey Musgraves while writing this, if you want to add more fluff to it)

She’s lovely with that white summer dress, she’s tapping her feet nervously looking around the street waiting for his car to arrive, but Javi is parked on the side of the road chewing a nicorette that has already lost all its taste. He observes how she peeks at her watch. He’s already late and doesn’t know what would make him feel any more terrible: standing her up or going on a date with her like an old creep.

Come on, Peña he urges himself to make a decision, but before he can make up his mind, he hears the door unlocking.

“Hey! I thought something had caught you up” she smiles and any doubts he had had been lifted. Gosh she’s pretty

“Sorry, I’m late I had...” he can make up any excuse and he feels he’s just smiling like an idiot.

“Don’t worry” she seats and adjusts her dress shyly “I see we’re making progress” she motions to his mouth

“Oh, yeah, I’ve been very good.” Javi says proudly and follows the road full of car towards the fair “I haven’t had a smoke in...a month, I think”

“Congrats!” she cheers “You deserve a reward then” she grins

“Sure?” he smirks eying her briefly not losing the sight of the road

“Whatever you want” she nods

“But a cigarette, of course”

“Obvs” she chuckles

“Then I better think for a really good reward, I deserve it”

“Yep”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

­­­­­­­­­She’s talking about the first time she came to the funfair being a child. Javier is listening partially; part of his focus is on everybody around them. It feels like all Laredo is there and they had been stopped a few times already by people that wanted to shake his hand and thank him for his service; and Javi starts to feel like the music is too loud, there’s too many people around them and that he doesn’t want to hear the word “hero” anymore. So he tries really hard to look at her, to concentrate his mind on how she interrupts her speech when she looks directly at him, how she blushes, how the warm breezes moves the baby hairs that frame that beautiful visage, how her lips shine with that chapstick she uses and that he’s dying to taste.

“Anyway we can do any ride but that one” she points at the big one in the middle that spins fast creating a wave of screams and laughter every time it makes a round “Unless you want me to puke all over your pretty plaid shirt”

“You like my shirt?” he smirks

“Yeah” she tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear “You look like a real cowboy” she adds. Her smile is brighter than any of the thousand small lights that illuminate the fair.

“I like your dress” Javier leaves his hand hang languidly close to hers until their skin brushes against each other. When he sees she doesn’t recoil, he grabs her hand locking his fingers with hers.

He can sense her nervousness, but hopes it’s the good kind. The exact same feeling he has at the moment, those soft palpitations that he hasn’t felt in years; the butterflies. Eventually she answers his compliment:

“Thanks, it was just 10$” instantly she looks down at her feet “God! I’m terrible at this”

“At what?” the people look at him and then at her, and then their gaze is fixed on their intertwined hands. Javi knows that the rumors are already spreading and hopes that whatever she’s going to hear about him in the next few days doesn’t ruin this.

“Dates...flirt...this” she points at him and then herself

“I cannot believe that” he counters

“Seriously? hey your dress is pretty; yes it cost me ten dollars” she mimics

“I thought it was cute”

“Cute?” she raises her right eyebrow

“Yes, you’re cute” Javi maintains

“You too” she admits

“Me?”

“Yeah! A pretty cute cowboy in plaid” she laughs

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­She makes him forget about this damn town, even Colombia and everything that happens seems a billion years away. If the people around them bother her, she doesn’t say. She doesn’t speak with him like anybody in town after he’s been back. For her it’s just Javi, and this Javi can have fun: he has shared a cotton candy with her, he has done some of the strongest rides even if his back is killing him, he has hold her waist when she jumped and screamed on the Tunnel of Terror and then laughed out loud when they got out.

“Javi!” she calls “We forgot about your reward for your first month without a smoke” she holds his hand and stars running towards the shooting gallery.

“You have five shots to win one of our wonderful set of prices. You just have to hit the little birds once”

The targets come and go up and down on the wheel, the paint on them is chipped, testimony of a long life in these funfairs and many missed shots. She takes one of the guns and closes one of her eyes aiming towards the wooden forms that spin on the wheel.

“Take a look of the plushies, cowboy, I’m gonna win you one” she says cockily

“Yeah, sure” he scoffs

“What? you don’t think I’m capable?” she turns towards him, gun still in her hand

“Wow, first of all, never point to somebody with a gun” Javi grabs the barrel and pushes it downwards “even if it’s not real, and second, open both of your eyes to aim” he explains

“Yes, sir. I forgot you were an agent. I better follow your orders, then” she winks at him and with a deep breath resumes her posture to take her first shot. Failing.

“Shit” she grunts “Have you chosen?” she points to the wall on the right full of stuff toys

“Erm...Does it matter?”

“Absolutely, come on, it motivates me”

The toys are horrendous; surely they’ve been doing their round around every fun fair in Texas for ages.

“Okay, one of the teddy bears” he agrees with a shrug

“No! no! be more specific” she scolds “Do you want the big one? the white one with the red bowtie? the brown with the small farmer hat? Or...Look!” she jumps excitedly “There’s a cowboy one, I’m gonna get you the cowboy” she nods and tries a second time, missing.

Javi mocks her and leans on her shaking in laughter.

“Yeah, really funny. Why don’t you try then?” she passes him the gun. After he has collected himself, he adjusts his posture and aims. Nothing.

She crosses her arms over her chest and observes him with an amused grin.

He doesn’t wait longer until he tries again and misses.

“You only got one left”

“Say goodbye to your teddy bear, cowboy” she whispers in his ear. Her sweet perfume and her voice distract him briefly. For a second he wants to throw the gun away and take her in his arms at last.

Javier shots again

“No luck today, sir, if you want to try again is three dollars”

Javi refuses the man with a gesture; she doesn’t say a thing for a minute, but then snorts and cries in laughter

“You’re lousy shot!” she screams

“You missed too” he defends

“Yeah, two shots, and you three, but who of us is a well trained agent, huh?” she sassed

Javi bites his lip, both hands on his hips; he knows there’s no way to defend his shitty shots.

“I still gained a reward though” he gazes at her

“Yeah, that’s true. What do you want then? I still have a few of dollars on me if you want a sundae or something”

“No, not that” he walks towards her and she instinctively recoils until she’s against the tent of the shooting gallery “I want something sweeter” he places his hands on her waist.

“Wh-hat?”

He bends and holds her at the same time, saving the height difference between them. He just brushes his lips against hers at first until she sighs and comes closer to him standing on her tiptoes. Javi deepens the kiss savoring the fruity chapstick she wears. Her lips are soft and sweet as he has imagined since he met her, her soft moans are music to his ears and he wants to hear more.

“Wow, you’re an incredible kisser, Javi Peña, but a terrible shot” she assures.

[marvelslut16]

Loving Jack

Jack Castello x reader

Synopsis: You meet Jack Castello while you both take classes at Ace studios. As you get to know him you fall in love with him. But he’s married, he can’t possibly love you back. So what happens when he arrives on your door step in the pouring rain with news that changes everything?

Word count: 2,534

Warnings: Talks of cheating, cross burning/KKK

A/n: I absolutely loved Hollywood and fell for Jack Castello. Sorry if this sucks, I just really wanted to write it. Also, as much I love Claire, she isn’t in this. SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE SEASON. I also made a shitty dreamland reference, whoops. I know the title is bad, but I had no idea what to name it.

His soft delectable lips were pushing hard on yours, his tongue roughly parting them so he could get a better taste of you. Reaching up, you card your fingers through his dark mussed hair, pulling hard on the ends. The action elicits a soft groan from him, spurring you on. You lightly suck on his tongue, his grip on your hips tightens, no doubt leaving bruises in their wake. You gasp as he pulls his mouth away with a loud pop, his lips make their descent towards your neck, but they never land. Instead, a knock wakes you from your dreamland. 

You let out a long drawn out sigh as you push yourself from your bed, who could possibly be bothering you this late at night? You grab your dressing gown, the cool silk a nice contrast to your overheated body. You tie the robe nice and tight, and turn on the lights as you walk through the house. You throw the front door open to yell at the person bothering you, but the words die in your throat at the view. 

Standing on your front porch is Jack Castello, a very drenched one at that. His eyes are red and puffy, tears still falling, mixing with the rain that has him soaking to the bone. Your heart breaks at the sight, who would do this to him? 

“Can I come in?” his low voice breaks at the end. You can see that he’s trying to stay strong, trying not to show the full extent of his pain. 

“Of course!” you grab his hand and gently pull him in when he doesn’t move right away. “I’ll go make us some coffee! Take off your coat, or you’ll catch a cold,” you call as you make your way to the kitchen of your modest home. 

You have been a contract player at Ace pictures for years, never making your big break. But now, now you finally get a supporting part, all of your hard work has finally paid off.  You got the role as Meg’s best friend, quite fitting since you became best friends with Camille since meeting her in one the acting classes. 

Ace pictures is also how you met the man standing in your living room, leaving a puddle on the carpet beneath him. The moment you saw Jack you were attracted to him, but the moment he spoke to you with those big eyes full of wonder, your heart became his. Your heart didn’t care that he was married and had twins on the way, all it cared about was the way his whole face lit up when he smiled, or how every time you ran lines with him he would compliment you and tell you how amazing and talented you are. 

You never acted on those feelings, of course. You would never steal another woman’s man, it’s wrong- immoral. A surprising and naive view to have in this town. It didn’t matter how much it hurts, watching him fiddle with his wedding ring every day, wishing you were the one he’d go home to every night and kiss goodnight. It didn’t matter how you felt, not even after he admitted to you in a drunken stupor one night after running lines that he didn’t actually love his wife. None of that mattered, not the heartbreak or the loveless marriage, you would not be the reason he started cheating on his wife again. And, you valued yourself more than that. You would never be the other woman. 

While you’re off in your thoughts, you don’t hear Jack enter the kitchen behind you. He shifts a little behind you, causing his worn out chuck taylors to squeak on the linoleum flooring. Neither of you say anything, neither of you know what to say. Your friendship had never been awkward with Jack, and yet the uncomfortable tension in the room is suffocating. You turn to look at Jack as the coffee starts to drip slowly into the pot behind you. 

Jack took his coat off like you told him to, leaving him in a tight white wife beater, the rain causing it to cling tighter to each rippling muscle. The wife beater is tucked into his wet black slacks, wrapping gorgeously around his thighs, highlighting just how strong he is. Last but not least, his silver cross hangs over his heart, the metal chain sticking to his wet skin as well. There was no denying that Jack Castello would be the newest heartthrob when Meg comes out. 

“If I had clothes that would fit you,” you break the silence, grabbing his jacket from his arms and draping it over the back of one of your chairs. “I would throw your clothes in the dryer for you.”

“I’m gettin’ a divorce,” he finally says why he’s at your house in the middle of the night, flopping into the chair his coat is hanging off of. The distraught look on his face makes you not care that his wet trousers are going to ruin your wooden seat. “The babies, they ain’t mine. The guy she worked with, the one I didn’t trust, they’re his.”

“Oh sweetheart,” you push off the counter you’re leaning on and drop to your knees in front of him. You reach up, grabbing his hands that are limp in his lap, gently running your thumbs over the back of his cold hands. 

He may not have been in love with her, but he would always care for Henrietta. And then it hits you, she cheated first. He confided in you about the gas station at the beginning of your friendship, said he only did it to support his wife and twins. He had told you about how angry she had gotten when she found out he was cheating, the nerve!

“She thought I would figure it out, thought I would realize there was no way they could be mine. She said I made her feel terrible. Am I a bad person?”

“No, honey,” you let go of his hands and instinctively grab his face, gently moving his head so he’s looking you in the eyes. “You could never be a bad person. You two just didn’t work, you both want different things. Jack, you're the most amazing person I have ever met, you're so kind and caring. You’re amazing Jack Castello.”

He closes his eyes and leans into your right hand, and you want to cry. His skin is cold and damp under your touch, a new set of tears bubble to the surface and spill onto your hands. You stand from your kneeling position and sit in the seat beside him, and before you can hug him, he stands and pulls you tightly to him. Your flush against him, he smells of rain and cigarettes, and the way his strong arms wrap around your waist is all you can focus on. You can’t bring yourself to care that your silk robe is now soaked in the front, you just want to make him feel better. Ignoring both parties wet garments, the two of you sip nice hot coffee and talk for hours. 

After some arguing, he insists that he can’t take your bed from you, so you give him your comfiest blanket and best pillow so he can get a good night's sleep on the couch. You're finally drifting off for the second time that night when you smell smoke, but your dream induced mind twists it into a barbeque at Ace studios. You’re grabbing some food and joking with Jack as the smell gets stronger, smoke wafting through your open windows. Jack runs into your bedroom, clad only in his underwear that reveal just how generous his package is, frantically trying to wake you up. 

“(Y/N),” he shakes you nervously.

“Hmm?” you groan out, rolling to the side and away from his loud voice. 

“There’s a fire!” you jolt up at the words, fully awake now. Ignoring the delicious sight of an almost naked Jack in your bedroom, you run to the front of your house, not caring about grabbing your robe this time. 

Your blood runs cold at the sight in front of you, gasping, you back away from the window. Right there in your front yard is a burning cross, you continue backing up until you bump into Jack’s warm chest. Instinctively, he wraps his arms around your front and pulls you tighter into him. Letting out a sob, you turn in his arms, burying your face in his bare chest. It’s a warning, your life is in danger. And for what? Because people didn’t believe in progress and equality? For being a part of a picture that deserves to be made, a picture with a fantastic script and an even better message.

“Put your clothes on,” you push him away as the wailing of sirens grows near. You quickly grab your robe and throw it on before walking out to meet the firefighters and police. 

--

At the studio the next day Jack won’t let you out of his sight. And you don’t know who it’s for, you or him. Not caring what people will say or think, Jack demands that he stay with you for the next few months. Just until all of the hatred and protests die down. He doesn’t think the security the studio is supplying will be enough, he doesn’t like the thought of you being the only one in the targeted group alone. 

And for the next few months you grow closer to Jack, creating a false domestication. You’ll wake up and cook him breakfast, and he’ll fix anything that isn’t working properly. With each passing day you lose more and more of your heart to the aspiring actor, and what you have left continues to crack. He could never love you, he would never see you that way. 

Before you know it, security isn’t necessary, and Jack goes back to his apartment. Henrietta gives birth to the twins and moves to Indiana. The divorce is finalized, and you’re back to living your hollow empty life again. Yeah, you have a job you love. But what's success with no one to share it with? You miss walking to the kitchen every morning and making breakfast for two, waking Jack up and finding the little bit of drool dripping onto the pillow. Your house feels empty, you feel empty. Was this what Peg felt like when she decided she wanted to end it all?

You try to distance yourself from Jack, hoping that with less time spent with him the pieces of your heart would return and repair themselves. But your actions only cause more pain, yours and Jack’s. Archie’s on your case, complaining to you that Jack is always whining that you’re ignoring him. Camille is trying to figure out what happened, wanting to know why in between takes you always seem so sad now. You’ve gotten good at avoiding Jack, knowing when not to get food because you two used to go together, and which route out of the studio to take. 

Until one day you arrive home after a long day to Jack sitting on your doorstep. He has his head in his hands, messing up his slicked back hair. He’s wearing his black slacks and a short sleeve white button up, the picture of handsome. Your heart starts to race, and you aren’t sure if it’s out of fear or desire. 

“Jack, what are you doing here?” your voice is softer than you anticipated it would be, his head snaps up to look at you when you start talking.

“Do you hate me?” his blue eyes full of pain and confusion instead of their typical optimism and wonder. He lurches forward, kneeling in front of you and gripping the bottom of your skirt tightly. “Let me fix whatever I did, please.”

“Stand up,” you talk through your teeth, keenly aware of the looks you're getting from your nosy neighbors. “We’ll talk about this inside.”

He flashes you his megawatt smile, causing your heart to stutter. He jumps to his feet and watches you closely as you unlock the door. As soon as the door is open, he has his large warm hand on the small of your back, guiding you inside and away from the prying eyes and ears. You take a few steps before turning to face him, jumping when you see that he’s practically on top of you still. 

“What did I do?” his voice cracks, much like the first night he showed up on your doorstep. 

“N-nothing,” you stutter, backing up to put space between you. You don’t trust yourself not to just throw your arms around him and give him a big smooch. 

“Then why are you avoiding me?” your heart starts to break at how crushed he looks, and the weight of the pain you’ve caused the both of you comes crashing down. 

“I love you,” the words come out in a breathless rush. You can’t look him in the eye, you can’t see that he doesn’t feel the same, so you stare at the ground. 

“I love you too,” he says it like it's the most obvious statement in the world.

“No Jack, I’m in love with you,” it’s your turn to have a voice crack. You hear his step forward, his dirt stained white converse appear in your view. His warm hand gently caresses your cheek, causing you to melt into it without a second thought. He gently tips your head back so you’re staring into those gorgeous pools of blue. 

“I’m in love with you too,” he admits, more confident and sure of himself than ever before. “I think I have been since I met you.”

A tear trickles down your cheek at his confession, his thumb quickly wipes it away. His lips make their descent on yours for the first time in real life, your heart beats fast and hard against your rib cage. Until it stutters to a brief stop when his soft, warm, lips land on yours. His hands move to hold onto your waist, and yours quickly tangle themselves in his hair. 

Your action spurs him on, he gets up enough courage to run his tongue across your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You deny him at first, teasing him until he splits your lips apart on his own. You sigh as his tongue invades your mouth, the taste of tobacco and the feel of him exploring your mouth is all you can concentrate on. Your knees go weak at this new and amazing feeling, luckily his strong arms keep you standing. You, regretfully, pull back when the burning in your lungs becomes too much. 

He’s grinning at you like a madman, placing kisses all over your face; your forehead, your left cheek, the tip of your nose, your right cheek, your chin. You can’t help but laugh at his silly antics, you love this man more than you ever thought humanly possible. 

“I love ya, (Y/N/N),” he leans his forehead on yours. 

“I love you too,” you bridge the gap, and kiss him once more.

Permanent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny​

People who took an interest in me writing this: @elleclairez​ @antoouu​

[jayjaysocks]

Listing my favorite animes (because I’m jumping on the bandwagon)

❗️⚠️ *spoilers!! (Duh)* ❗️⚠️

5. Deadman Wonderland

I was really really sad when I found out this anime got cancelled. The music was fantastic, the animation was really good, and the voice acting was incredible. Even the fucking dubbed version (I loved the voice they chose for Senji. God he was hilarious). I binged this show so fucking fast it wasn’t even funny. I loved watching the characters go through their own struggles and grow as people in the very small amount of episodes provided. There was a lot of development within the snippet that we actually saw, and I was thoroughly impressed with how well it was done. I wanted to scream or something when I found out there wouldn’t be a second season.

Sigh. Oh well. At least we got some of the manga’s masterpiece translated into a show, even if we were missing some fucking awesome characters.

4. Guilty Crown

Ugh, don’t even get me started. This anime was beautiful and I got so invested so freaking quickly. I literally go back every few years to rewatch it because I get ship starved.

Shu and Inori’s story was so beautifully done; between Shu uncovering his courage and Inori’s journey of self-discovery, I was continuously awe-struck and filled with feelings—I mean, I had never felt such raw emotion while watching something and I was completely blown away by the affect it had on me. Anger, hatred, sadness, it was all there (even for the main character lmao) and it was one of the first times I had ever felt a ship so heavily that I literally cried at the end. It was one of the very first Animes I’d ever seen and was one of the reasons I got such a taste for them. Thanks for throwing me down that rabbit hole, GC.

3. Soul Eater

This was literally the first Anime I’d ever seen, and my god I couldn’t have asked for a better starter. What I like about this one is that it’s style is so unique and different. It’s very punk and grunge, something I admired and appreciated in a genre that is normally the opposite (like Guilty Crown, for example). Also the fight scenes were badass, like holy shit just look at that gif ??? Freaking amazing.

I loved the way the show transitioned from light hearted to intense and adrenaline pumping so effortlessly. That can be said about a lot of shows, but this one went from *haha cute show* to *holy shit, like they’re actually gonna die ohmygod howaretheygoingtosurvivethis* so smoothly I was genuinely surprised. They made one of the main villains actually cool and each character had their own beautifully done arc. I loved and adored how the show solidified and expanded on the different friendships/relationships that were involved—specifically Soul and Maka’s (also, holy shit, Stein’s arc? Fucking prime, dude). There was a lot of growth in each and every friendship (CRONA!!!), and that really pushed the viewer to invest in the individual characters.

I am fucking delighted that this was my first anime, and (though the ending was a little anticlimactic) it remains one of my top favorites to this day. It set the bar pretty fucking high, and for that I am extremely greatful.

No one asked for Soul Eater: Not! It is the unspoken sin of the Soul Eater world (then again, it is called Soul Eater: Not!)

2. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

If you have been following me for a while, then you are no stranger to my love of FMAB. Some of my most popular posts are about this anime, and for good reason.

Unfortunately, I was late to the party. I actually didn’t watch this until last year, but got invested really damn quick. I have a tendency to be extremely picky about the animes that I watch/like (which is why NONE of these shows are that recent), to the point that I will literally research them before I start watching (a bad habit, do not copy me). I have an incomparably hard time finishing a show when I start, because I get bored really quickly, but this was an exception. I started watching and I just... didn’t stop. I spent a straight week watching FMAB, gobbling it up during any small amount free time I could manage, and finished it before I even knew what happened. I wasn’t picky about it, I didn’t research it, I just dove right in and gosh, I was not disappointed.

The subtle romance that was alluded throughout the entire show was super cute, the devotion the brothers had for each other was to die for, and the struggles that each person went through was more than moving. I never once found myself bored while watching, and that’s saying a lot for my adhd ass. I was invested in each and every second of that damn anime and I was never, ever left underwhelmed. That probably had to do with the fact that every. Single. Character. Had a purpose. I’m not even kidding. Every single person contributed to the big fight at the end and that alone is fucking fantastic.

Not to mention ALL the women, every female character, was a badass bitch. None of them were reduced to sex appeal or romantic subplot, they all had real feelings, real arcs and real, unadulterated badassery that I thoroughly admired and appreciated. I could watch this anime over and over again every single month and I wouldn’t get bored. Between the emotional struggle, self discovery, and personal development of each character, I promise you will not see a lack of plot or meaning here. The more you watch, the more you discover and that is not a lie. There are so many layers to its story, which only makes me wish I had watched this sooner.

There is nothing I have to offer in the ways of criticism, and for that I couldn’t be happier. Thank you, Hiromu Arakawa, for such an incredible piece of art. You deserve every bit of love that this manga/anime gets. You go girl.

1. Cowboy Bepop

Holy shit holy shit holy shit this anime is so fucking good and it has been my favorite for so damn long. I have been watching anime for years, and while some of the shows in my list have moved around, this one has yet to be bumped down from the top (and I doubt it ever will). There’s a reason it became such a cult classic.

For starters, the animation. I mean, just look at Spike and the way they animate his fighting (yes I am aware that this gif is from the movie, but that still doesn’t change my point). The sequences in the show/film have been reused in many other shows and for good reason. It’s good, incredible, actually and they make him look so badass with just a few hand movements. I was consistently impressed with the way the fight scenes were portrayed and wasn’t ever left underwhelmed or disappointed (or, for that matter, feeling like they completely over exaggerated/overcompensated the scene with huge close-ups and tons of debris and lights). I loved watching this and my heart was always pounding with every intense interaction. I didn’t feel bored during any of the episodes and always found myself laughing when they cracked a joke—pretty much all of their funny lines hit and that’s saying something, dude.

The show, while having a lighthearted surface, has a heavy meaning that you don’t see at first glance. It’s about dealing with grief and loss, and how the characters themselves accomplished that in different ways. The most prominent quote is the biggest indication of its moral “you’re gonna carry that weight”. Basically: ‘You’ve gotta pick up your baggage, because the world moves on, with or without you’. Or ‘You’re going to carry that weight whether you like it or not, because life keeps going’. When I figured out the show’s actual message, while staring at my ceiling in the long hours of the night, I almost cried. This realization brought something entirely different to the table, a new understanding of the show’s characters and overall essence.

The main characters, all of them, had depth. They had real, palpable depth, and even if you didn’t want to care you found yourself seriously interested in their lives. Each of them had relatively shitty pasts. Faye with her lost memories, Spike with Julia and the people who fucked him over, Jet with his old flame and the ISSP, Ed and her/his father... throughout the entire show we got to see how all of them dealt with these things, whether they wanted to continue on with life or not. The way they portrayed it was engaging, because the characters individual, contrasting journeys weren’t repetitive or one note. The beauty that the show holds so achinging close to its core, the layers of grief that the characters are wrapped in so delicately is almost suffocatingly real—because they’re all different. It’s something you discover when you think on the subject in a deeper light, which is another reason why I enjoy it so much. It has both a surface story and a deeper one. You can either take the show at face value or choose to understand the underlying moral.

This show inspired my very first, thoroughly fleshed out OC, and continues to inspire me to this day. It has contributed to my own personal growth, and has helped push me to continue my art and writing. It is beautifully written, beautifully executed and even though some of the episodes seem like filler, it has never disappointed me. I rewatch it all the time because there’s something so infinitely refreshing about the beauty of this anime, whether it be the way we watch the characters develop or the overall moral it portrays. This show has given us a message that is essentially timeless, it can be ‘carried’ through generation after generation, and still have the same impact—something I absolutely fucking adore.

I owe so much to this anime, including my very own artistic development. I discovered it during a really shitty time in my life and I couldn’t have asked for better timing. I will never tire of the bittersweet message or the thoroughly fucking fantastic animation. Everyone who contributed to this masterpiece deserves love, because it’s seriously fucking gold.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 4x04-- The Gang is Satirized and Doesn’t Like It

The gang doesn’t like being satirized and I don’t like this episode.

No episode needs to be 57 minutes long. Is it possible that seeing the runtime put me in a bad mood before watching this episode? Absolutely.

Bianca is still trying to get Lucca to take a week off and come play on the beach. This is weird, right?

She’s using a drone to take a selfie which… yikes. Bianca asks what Lucca has in Chicago to match the beach. Lucca takes a look out the window and instead of seeing FakeChicago, she sees a window washer’s ass crack. Lucca protests that she has work in Chicago and can’t leave (are we going to mention her baby?). Before Bianca can ask more questions, David Lee calls Lucca into a meeting.

A former client who says he’s been “bouncing from one [firm] to the other” (which sort of explains why David Lee and Lucca would both have experience with this client who was at RBL a year ago?) is angry because he’s being defamed by a new play. He says his divorce is in the play and wants to sue.

Lucca ChumHums the playwright and recognizes him as a former associate. She brings the case to Adrian’s attention. Before Adrian understands that confidential info made it into the play, he talks about how you shouldn’t give satire oxygen because it will just go away. Easier said than done, huh, Adrian? 

They DID actually fire Alan North for drug use last year. We never saw the actor but his firing was referenced as precedent for firing Maia. Thanks Alan, I guess? 

(Right, I used to spend most of these recaps complaining about Maia! It is very nice not to be doing that anymore.)

Adrian jumps into the case to prevent the client from suing RBL.

We have to see the scene that ended the last episode again. That’s a little clumsy. Maybe trim the stuff we’ve already seen in an episode that’s this long? 

How does Jay POSSIBLY know that one specific dude up at STRL is blocking Diane from searching “What is Memo 618” on Bar-Swarm? I have questions.

Diane immediately heads upstairs to ask this dude about Memo 618. Jay wonders if that’s smart and Diane doesn’t care. As I said to an anon earlier, I feel like now is the time to get a journalist on the case.

Even though Diane storms upstairs uninvited, she’s told “they’re waiting for you.” Creepy.

Diane meets a lot of people, including Bryan Kneef (of internet blocking fame) and a dude who won’t stop hiccuping. 

Oh GOD are we going to have to hear one of these stupid stories from Mr. Firth in every single episode? No fucking wonder this episode is so long. 

Bryan is mad at Diane for poaching his clients. Diane has no idea what he’s talking about. Diane seems to know that her investigator is checking his clients to figure out why he’s blocking her internet. Does Diane actually know Jay is investigating his clients? Or is she just assuming that’s how he found out who was doing the blocking? Because literally as soon as Diane heard Kneef’s name she ran upstairs; there would be no time for her or Jay to begin looking into his clients. 

Mr. Firth asks for Diane not to steal Kneef’s clients and Kneef not to block Diane’s internet access. They agree, but it’s clear neither of them are going to stop doing what they were doing. 

Jay discovers that one of Kneef’s cases disappeared… when he was losing.

Oh, Caleb’s last name is Garlin, not Garland. Noted. Also, I think I mistakenly said STRL was British a few weeks ago. It doesn’t appear to be. 

Marissa bothers Caleb again and asks him to tell her a joke. He does, but she’s unimpressed. 

Caleb has a photographic memory. I like Caleb so far. I feel like he’s kind of what they wanted Finn to be-- a charming good guy. But we’ll see; it’s early yet. 

Caleb gives Diane the number of a legal code the judge needed to review. In a sequence that goes on 30 seconds too long, Diane discovers this code redirects to another code, which redirects right back endlessly. Fun! 

When Diane goes to check a physical book, she discovers all the legal books are fake. Sounds about right. 

Ah, this terrible attorney who hits on young women is back because of reasons related to the other case that disappeared. Marissa is now helping Diane with her 618 quest, maybe because she’s met this creep before?

Diane offers to represent him (he’s being sued for doing a shitty job on disappearing case).

Meanwhile, Adrian and Charlotte go to see “Cocksucker in Chains”, which turns out to be about an African American firm populated by characters who are clearly supposed to be the RBL partners. Julius narrates the play, Adrian likes to be dominated by the Diane character while roleplaying a slave to Diane’s dominatrix (yikes), etc. Adrian is named “Aiden” and Diane is “Dana”. This seems like a good time to remind you all of the original TGW character names from the Pilot outline: Alicia Follick, David Follick (and David Follick Jr.!!!), Dawna Lockhart, and Will Garvin.

The first time through, I was appreciative (and shocked) we got so few scenes from the play. Usually if the Kings have a device like this, we tend to get… more of the device than is necessary. Y’all know how this one turns out. 

This play, from what we see of it, looks kind of terrible. That said, I think it’s SUPER realistic, and interesting, that a low-level black associate would see all the white people coming into the firm as “dominating” a black man who gets off on being submissive. I don’t think that’s an accurate characterization of Adrian’s actions but if you don’t know his reasoning or how things played out, it absolutely could seem like Diane has all the power. And I imagine that young, idealistic lawyers who signed on to work at a firm that was proudly all-black would not have been thrilled by Diane’s sudden appearance and all of the changes that followed. Remember how in season one RBL had things it stood for and then Barbara left and then all it stood for was money?

Relatedly, remember that little throwaway line about how Barbara donated MORE money to HRC than Diane Lockhart did? Heh.

Adrian, as the episode title indicates, DOES NOT LIKE BEING SATIRIZED and tells Lucca they need to shut the play down. That escalated quickly.

Please explain to me how I accidentally memorized the name of the actor playing Kovac but didn’t memorize the character’s name. 

Diane tells Liz and Adrian about her latest Memo 618 adventure and Adrian keeps asking why this matters. “I’m not asking for your permission; I’m just filling you in,” Diane notes. “Maybe you should be asking for our permission,” Adrian counters because he does not want to be dominated by Diane. “Maybe. But I’m not,” she responds.

Liz thinks that Adrian acted weirdly. Adrian explains he doesn’t like how Diane insinuates she can overrule them. Liz has no idea what Adrian is talking about. So he explains the play. Liz still doesn’t think it’s a big deal and asks to take it over.

She then gets Caleb involved-- I guess Lucca is just done working now? Okay? It was nice to have Lucca scenes in this episode while it lasted!!! 

Liz and Caleb go to see the play and now we get to see the scenes where Liz is satirized. Fake Liz sings, because of COURSE they are going to have the FAKE version of her sing. Her song is about how her daddy is a sexual predator. It’s quite upsetting.

Liz and Caleb stay for a Q&A in which the playwright says the client in the play was “based on” (not “inspired by”). (Actually this happens after my second bullet but meh)

Then there’s a white woman who goes on a rant that feels too ridiculous to be true but apparently it’s lifted almost verbatim from an actual incident that happened at a Slave Play Q&A (I am not New York enough to have gotten the reference without the internet’s help). 

Monica is back! Yay Monica! Nikki just needs to show up on Evil next season and she’ll have been on every Kings show. 

Blah blah 618 blah blah. I don’t dislike this arc but I don’t have much to say about it. Like, I get it, corporations are powerful and the law is fake and this is a way of commenting on the insanity of the world while backing away from the politics. But other than saying that and enjoying the twists and turns… I don’t have anything to add.

Man, I miss character based drama. That’s not a criticism of the show, but this recap format is way less interesting (to write, and probably to read) when I don’t have anything to sink my teeth into.

Adrian doesn’t want to settle because now Adrian is mad. The client gets what he wants and Adrian insists they keep going. I mean, if the episode stopped now it would be a reasonable, even short, episode, and we’ve got fifty seven whole minutes to fill..

Liz is also on board to prolong the case. Lucca, who actually has perspective, tells Adrian he’s not acting in the client’s best interest. Adrian denies it. LOL, sure. 

At this exact moment Lucca receives (and looks at) a text from Bianca, who is still pursuing her. Tempting.

Liz asks Marissa if she’s heard of Cocksucker in Chains. She has, and she is getting a “gang” together to go see it, because of course she is.

David Lee enjoys the play. Diane and Kurt, less so. Julius and his wife do not like it at all. Also apparently we HAD seen Julius’s wife before and I somehow FORGOT?????

Play!Julius monologuing about justice makes Real!Julius reevaluate his decisions. 

Then we get into this weird Diane and Kurt sex plot that is kind of about the idea of problematic kinks (like getting off on watching a fake version of your white wife whip a black man) but is mostly just an excuse for fanservice in the form of Christine Baranski in sexy get-ups. She’s got an amazing figure, but does that alone justify this subplot? (I say no.)

(Also I’d be way more invested in a plotline about McHart’s sex life if it didn’t begin and conclude in the back half of a single episode. It’s sparked by the play-- not any ongoing issues-- and concludes in a cute way so to me it is… nothing.)

Marissa goes undercover as a playwright. Everyone in the group dislikes the writer of Cocksucker in Chains… a lot. They hand over the drafts easily.

Liz and Caleb spend a late night reading smut said by fake Liz in an early draft script to each other. Over it already. I was never a fan of boss/employee plots, and in this era, with this character who has SO MUCH potential but never really gets plotlines of her own, I have zero patience for this bullshit. Liz deserves better.

What really confuses me is that somehow Liz/Caleb is supposed to be about… investigating what interracial relationships are like???? If they’re so insistent on showing this can’t they… do something other than this? Random stranger at a bar?

I do not like this thing that is happening to Liz where whenever she gets a plot of her own it’s about fucking someone she shouldn’t be fucking. I haven’t forgotten what the writers did to Geneva Pine in late season seven for LITERALLY NO REASON. 

Liz would not flirt with an employee. Like, just stop. Liz has spent the last year coming to terms with her father being a serial assailant and we are going to deal with that by… having her make eyes at Caleb? That is not interesting or complicated.

And, tbh, it’s especially insulting to Liz when none of this feels motivated in character and ALL of it feels motivated in “we need a sexy forbidden romance so we can explore themes.” Get this plot away from Liz. 

This episode is too long, in case I haven’t already said that enough times.

And now the scene in which Bryan Kneef, the latest Rebel Dude Lawyer, says the word “ass” many times. I repeat: this episode is too long. 

Mr. Firth talks to Diane about pursuing 618. I don’t understand Mr. Firth’s deal. Why does he let Diane continue? Is he just a person who happens to be powerful who is actually trying to do a fair job and be understanding? This show just doesn’t have characters like that so you see why I am skeptical.

Again with the window washers. Of all the symbols of the problems with office life, this one?! (It plays especially poorly right now-- I wish that my biggest problem with my workspace was that there are people cleaning the windows to make my view nicer and not, you know, that my current workspace is my bedroom.) 

Firth goes to see Lucca next. Lucca says she doesn’t like her new standing desk. Wait. They got desks that are standing ONLY without consulting the employees? 

This scene is succeeding in making me miss the standing desk that I’ve only ever used as a standing desk, like, twice. 

No one on this show has a monitor at their desk. I wonder if that’s true to life for law firms. 

Now Bianca has found a way to make it part of Lucca’s JOB to come hang out at the beach and this is making me uncomfortable. Firth tells Lucca to go, even though Lucca shares her concern that Bianca just wants a friend. Firth somehow has a similar story to share and tells Lucca “the rich are not like us.” K. Sure. Maybe we can get away with calling Lucca well-off instead of rich but Firth? Rich. Maybe not ultra wealthy but dude is rich. 

SERIOUSLY what is with the window washers?

Enjoy this scene of Diane the dominatrix, fans. It’s here for you. 

(I don’t mean that snarkily against fans. I mean that snarkily against the show.)

The stock footage clip with the moon over Chicago is one of the more interesting stock footage clips I’ve seen the show use (plus it actually looks like the neighborhood Diane would live in!)

Oh I am just so thrilled that at the 44 minute mark, we are starting to do a series of unnecessary scenes in which the characters converse with their actor counterparts. What a good use of time.

And the sad thing is that I should like this device… but I don’t. None of this is actually building up the characters for me? How invested can I be in Diane and Kurt’s sex life problems when I’ve known about them for less than half of the episode? How interested can I be in deconstructing 

And I don’t need a scene of Julius debating if he should be honest or not, because the scene of him watching the play was enough to make me understand he’s having doubts about complying with 618.

And you know what I REALLY, TRULY, DO NOT NEED? ALL OF THIS ATROCIOUS LIZ/CALEB PLOT. 

Why is Play Liz so horny? What about Real Liz made the playwright write Liz to be like this? And if it’s not accurate, why is it getting under Liz’s skin like this? I get the Diane one because it was a turn-on and it makes Diane wonder about dominating (outside of the bedroom, too). I get the Adrian one because I mean holy shit that’s a big claim to make. And I get the Julius one because Julius loves to be the voice of reason/hear his own voice and feels like a hypocrite. But Liz? What the fuck is this nonsense?

Liz saying “I’m his boss” and talking about HR does not excuse the fact that we are pretending a boss/employee romance is a good plotline in 2020. And I’m so confused about why THIS is the way they are choosing to explore an interracial relationship.

I have watched TV shows before so obviously as soon as I saw Liz get on the elevator, I knew from the fact that we were watching her leave… she wasn’t going to leave. She was going to go and fuck her employee. Great writing guys. 

This also managed to remind me of all my anger at the Red Team Blue Team Willicia kiss (they previewed it as a sneak peak and I was excited that it it didn’t end with them kissing because that’s so cliche… then I watched the episode and I’m still furious about it in season four of the spinoff.) so thanks for that too, writers. 

Why is Fake Liz’s stupid song so goddamn long? 

“Oh God help me,” Liz says as she knowingly goes to make an incredibly stupid decision I have NOT A SINGLE REASON to believe she would make. But this is The Good Fight, and on The Good Fight we care about plot more than characters. 

(Oh. I am in a bad mood.) 

The client wants out of the suit because… I mean, duh? He got what he wanted and this should have stopped at like the 20 minute mark?

If I never had to see another one of these “boss and employee awkwardly talk in the office about how it’s nbd they fucked last night” scenes again I would be OVER THE MOON. I watched all of Willicia and I will rewatch all of Willicia, is that not enough?! 

I do like Caleb so far, but man, that just makes this worse! I like Caleb and I like Liz and maybe I could even like them together but I am so furious they’re doing the boss/employee thing it just makes me sad to see this happen to characters I like. 

Diane is now circling the word “ass” in transcripts of the deposition, but the suit’s been dropped because the suit was settled for 1.8 million. (I am sure that’s a lot to the victim and absolutely nothing to the corporation.) 

Also Kovac brings Diane a bird because WE LOVE WACKINESS ON THE GOOD FIGHT. 

And now for a scene in which a mysterious visitor gives Kurt a warning to stop Diane from pursuing something dangerous. I thought we were done with this. This shit is what I hated about the Book Club arc in season three: the stakes got too high for me to take it seriously. They run the risk of doing the same with Memo 618. Keep it small scale. 

Kurt tells Diane about his visitor, and Kurt and Diane both recognize that this is similar to what happened last year, so at least there’s continuity. 

Diane says this isn’t about politics. I mean. Not overtly. But that’s the point. This whole arc is a thinly veiled way of exploring how the legal system breaks down when there’s no enforcement, and lack of enforcement is tied to politics, so… is this really as apolitical as Diane wants it to seem? Certainly it’s less political than Book Club but I don’t think a radical group should be the benchmark.

Diane promises she’ll drop 618, then gets an idea to spice up her sex life by modifying her dominatrix costume into a sexy cowgirl costume. (Diane is not going to drop 618. This is episode 4.)

Did Diane just grab a gun from the bathroom? Why are there guns in the bathroom? I guess it makes sense if she was planning this.

Oh and that’s the end of the episode!!! I DID IT!!!! I MADE IT THROUGH HIS EPISODE A SECOND TIME!

[dear-wormwoods]

I like South Park but sometimes I have difficulty reconciling with the fact that it has popularized some very harmful ideas like transphobia (I still see references amongst transphobes who like making "I identify as a dolphin hurrr" jokes), normalizing "faggot" as not being a slur so straight white boys can use it, making climate change and Al Gore look like a joke, PC police, etc. and it's hard to get over that. Has it improved at all?

Yes and no. I wrote a bit about the transphobia after one of this season’s episodes, as I feel like that’s one major area it hasn’t improved on. Like it got close in the S18 episode The Cissy, but then backtracked this past season, which sucks. They don’t have any legit, likable, genuine trans characters in the cast to balance out whatever point they want to make, so their jokes about it just come off as mean spirited in a way they don’t when it comes to almost all other marginalized groups. They ALWAYS have likable characters to balance out the nonsense - David Rodriguez and his family in recent seasons, Baahir Hassan Abdul Hakeem and his family in The Snuke, every single girl at their school but especially Wendy, Tweek and Craig and Al (hell, even Mr. Slave is a real character with qualities nowadays), Father Maxi… there are always people in the cast who are included to make the point of ‘hey, we know we’re making jokes but most people in this group are cool and it’s actually Cartman/Garrison/whoever that are in the wrong’. But they have yet to do that with trans people, and at this point it’s noticeable. So that’s my biggest gripe with them right now. 

As for the other things you mentioned… yeah, The F Word is another episode I don’t care for. But a couple of seasons ago they made a two-part episode addressing climate change and essentially apologized to Al Gore for making fun of him, so they do have the capacity to admit to being wrong about things and rectifying it in-universe. The PC Principal thing, it’s funny… I really hated him when he was introduced, but upon rewatching the show this year I don’t mind him. I think there are things about it that I didn’t get before, but now it comes off more as making fun of what people THINK “PC People” are like, and not making fun of the act of being PC. They genuinely wanted to make South Park a more progressive town, in canon, and it’s stayed that way. It’s hard to explain because I wouldn’t call the show itself more progressive, but the vast majority of the characters are? The line between ‘shitty people’ and ‘good people’ is more clear now, I guess. 

The thing about South Park is that you can’t watch it expecting it to be perfect, it’s always been a hit-or-miss show in terms of quality. Some episodes are just objectively bad. Some episodes are just offensive. Some of the bad episodes aren’t offensive and some of the offensive ones are good. It’s impossible to be great every time when you have a six day production schedule, and although they have a diverse group of storyboarders and animators now, it’s still largely written by two middle aged straight white dudes with input from others, so you have to take some of it with a grain of salt for that reason alone. 

I guess I reconcile it this way: people really have to consume all media with a critical eye. You can’t go into any fandom blindly praising the content without a second thought, because everything is problematic sometimes. But it’s also dumb to write something off as completely terrible and unsalvageable just because it’s sometimes problematic, because a lot of problematic shows have great qualities too (It’s Always Sunny comes to mind right away). So with South Park, I just… acknowledge when an episode is bad and move on. It’s definitely silly to make excuses for shitty plot lines or bad jokes or poor execution, but I’m also not going to let those shitty moments ruin the entire run of the show for me. In general, I think the show has amazing and complex characters and has shaped the Millennial generation in more good ways than bad. I’m way too deeply attached to it as formative media to let its mistakes outweigh the good stuff. But I also understand that not everyone is able to compartmentalize like that, and it’s definitely not a show that is for everyone (though I do maintain that people who say it’s complete trash just don’t know what they’re talking about - there are too many emotional, character driven moments to make that accusation remotely correct).

And honestly? When people use jokes that were either clearly made in poor taste or were centered around Cartman or Garrison (who is now a stand-in for Trump, mind you), I feel like that makes those people look bad more than it makes SP look bad, y’know? Like if you’re getting your political beliefs from the worst characters and worst episodes of the same cartoon that Hong Kong used as a rallying cry in their protest against Chinese oppression last year, thennnn idk what to say tbh… at that point you’re just cherry picking the worst things and ignoring 80% of the message. The worst people will choose the worst moments to use to support their ideologies, that’s the case with everything throughout history, but in this case they’re the minority of viewers, in my experience. 

[jenhrding]

dead to me season 2; a review

hello, i need to write about this because i woke up at 4am to watch season two and i have soooo many feelings that i need to vent even if nobody really cares

this is gonna be long so i divided it by episode and i'm doing a summary at the end if you don't feel like reading the entire thing

if you follow me on twitter you may have seen a lot of my comments on the season, as i needed to tweet about it while i watched it, but this is more of an organized type of thing

A LOT OF SPOILERS AHEAD

> i'm a die hard judy/jen shipper so if you liked michelle this might not be for you, i'm sorry

EPISODE 1

okay, the season picks up on the morning after ted's death and that was something i really appreciated. i usually hate when tv shows skip things and only mention what happened, not showing us how it happened

judy and henry's relationship warms my heart. they have a really strong bond and i'm glad we got to see more of them together throughout the episodes.

but, as we can't have everything, it hurt me a lot to see the way jen was treating judy. i love them both equally and because of that i can clearly see their mistakes without being biased, or at least i hope i can. i get that she was hurt with everything that judy did, and i loathed steve deeply, but still, the guy was his ex-fiancee, and she loved him to death even if he was a toxic piece of crap. the way jen said she was just there to pick up stuff and then told her she burned everything without even looking at her made me so sad for judy, and her dropping judy off saying they would never talk again was very cold, but that i would've seen coming from jen.

i was constantly feeling bad for judy because she didn't have time to mourn steve or abe and there she was, broke and without a place to stay. and let's just say, abe was an angel in her life even after he died. props to him for treating her like she deserved to be treated.

the thing with michelle started and it seemed a bit forced to me, like they just wanted to shove judy to someone else so we would stop asking for jen & judy being together.

and then jen called judy and i just KNEW that was happening, that scene really made me happy and it felt like they were taking a step forward in their relationship. jen worries about judy so much, even if she's not the best at showing it.

"like an excuse to see me again." "did it work?"

EPISODE 2

steve's twin thing was 100% so they wouldn't have to kick james out. it was very predictable and unnecessary. i guess it added a bit to the plot but his presence really annoyed me. but, i need to say, james did a nice job because ben didn't have any of steve's traits (i know that's what actors are supposed to do but i felt like he needed a compliment).

diana was irritating me from the beginning, and i'm glad i got to like her more by the end of everything.

i didn't get the deal with nick. i know breakups are hard but he looked depressed af. maybe it had to do with his history, everything with his friend and him losing his job and stuff. but i'm not really interested in that so it didn't bother me.

and may i just add? the scene with judy and the bird, she truly is a princess, i can't with her. also, i liked the subtle hint when jen told ben not to climb on the freezer because it was too low, and we would come to find out later that steve's body was in that freezer.

episode two had a lot of fun moments and it was a lighter one, maybe to prepare us for the chaos that was coming next.

"you look beautiful. i wish you would love yourself more."

EPISODE 3

judy hugging the freezer got me ????? i know she's an espiritual person but was she really acting like steve was feeling anything? i was confused, honesly, but i don't blame her "she will never do anything wrong :)"

the rats scene was funny but i hated how long they took to solve the freezer thing and just showed jen going there and crying sooo many times it kinda got tiring.

jen was being so nice to judy, touching her and hugging her and i had my hopes up for a little bit (only to get played again but i'll talk about that later).

the scene with michelle was cute, kinda necessary for judy to realize things about her grief, but sincerely speaking she just makes me very bored.

the breakdown scene in the garage was GREAT, linda and christina did an amazing job and i want to give them all of the awards.

"just wanted to tell you that i forgive you."

EPISODE 4

this episode had so much potential to be gay lmao, i could actually picture jen trying to comfort judy and end up kissing her and then they would've been together and all, but liz really doesn't want to give us what we want.

the scene at the bar was one of the best scenes in this season. they finally TALKED about their feelings. about how they still cared about both of the men who hurt them even if they were still mad at them for being shitty guys, and that was so important, love really does weird things to us.

and the dancing scene was EVERYTHING!!!! plus, they slept in the same bed even though there were two beds in the room, so...

judy hugging henry because of his bird = my heart cried they really are mother and son

jen telling judy that she could say goodbye and LINDA's SINGING!!!!!!!! a big yes for me

"will you be my person?" "yes, i will be your person."

EPISODE 5

hated this one. jen telling judy she needed space was hurtful, specially because judy was planning a day to make her feel better.

i just really hated this one. jen and ben is a NO, and judy with michelle was bothering me.

the highlight of it, for me, was when jen called judy to help her with charlie because, well, he is his mom too.

plus: the car burning scene was hot.

EPISODE 6

judy and jen talking to charlie like his moms was sooo nice i liked that scene a lot.

the voicemails steve left judy were disgusting. i hate that guy so much and i'm glad he's dead (sorry) and not able to hurt her anymore. we only want happy and safe judy here.

jen was jealous when judy mentioned her "new friend" you can't change my mind on this one.

i actually thought judy and michelle were gonna kiss in the car, but i appreciated that liz dragged it a little bit more.

i loved most of the arcade scenes, specially the ones with their family. i liked how they portrayed jen's relationship with the boys getting good again but didn't drag it on for too long, i think it was quite nice the way they did it.

and no, i'm not here for judy and michelle even though linda looks very hot while kissing another woman.

EPISODE 7

um, judy and michelle slept together and i was not happy. in fact, i made a lot of tweets complaining about it and twitter actually put me on limit for a few minutes. her saying "i love you" felt so forced and fake, i don't know, maybe it's cause i just don't like them together.

i was really appreciating scenes with jen and charlie, even if i don't like him very much. it felt good to see their relationship developing and getting better again because i do love a mother-son plot.

"of all the lesbians in lagoona" (jen included if i may add). this scene really showed a trust between them that i missed, jen telling judy she couldn't see michelle anymore and even though judy was upset she agreed with it because she knows jen only wants what's best for her.

it really hurt me to see that girl pregnant, because i know how much judy wanted a baby and for her to have five miscarriages and have to see that other woman pregnant with steve's baby must've hit her hard.

hated jen and ben together. honestly, it felt so weird to have jen kiss the guy who looks so much like the guy she killed, so, i did not like that.

judy's speech to diana was really important. it really showed more of who she is, really, a person who just tries all the time to do everything right and keeps fucking it up (like myself, i'd say), and i liked that scene a lot, specially when she goes to pick up the plastic bags hahaha.

EPISODE 8

this one showed a bit of why we should've been prepared for episode nine.

jen and judy's first scene was really good. they started it fighting but the ending was so lovely and just showed us how much they love each other and the things they'd give up for the other one to be happy.

i really hated how michelle treated judy on this episode. judy didn't have to tell her anything right away, they were together for five seconds. (or maybe i'm overreacting because i love judy way too much and hate seeing her being mistreated).

the end of this episode showed a lot of phone calls that made me confused and it had a few cliffhangers that i found to be a bit unnecessary. the show is interesting enough and i think liz overdid the cliffhangers a bit in this season, but it wasn't something that deeply bothered me.

EPISODE 9

i have a lot to say about this one so just take a deep breath before i vent lmao.

jen and ben fucked. which i thought was unnecessary and out of character for her. i really didn't see jen sleeping with a guy who has the same face as the guy she killed, and the scene where she looks at ben and remembers steve's dead body was so weird.

plus, i wish they would've gotten deeper into jen's mastectomy story. the only mention to it in this season was when she was in the bathroom, and she couldn't even bring herself to look in the mirror. it was unlike her to sleep with some stranger after that, since she's so ashamed of it, and it made me sad that the first person to see her naked after surgery (besides ted) wasn't judy, who she actually trusts. i didn't need jen to talk about it, because i know her character doesn't like to talk feelings, but the scene where she was alone could've been longer and showed a bit more of her story.

they showed so much of judy's background in the last two episodes and i loved it! i like how they were slowly revealing why her character acts the way she does. we knew she didn't like to be alone, but now we know that it's because she was alone most of her life, and because of that she clings to anyone who shows a bit of interest in her. therefore, why she didn't like nick that much and still tried to make things work out with him, and when steve showed her a little bit more of compassion, she went back to him. and now it's michelle, who she started seeing right after jen told her she needed space. judy is codependent, and i liked to understand her relationship with her mother so i could understand her relationship with others.

jen's scene at city hall was so important and powerful. first, i was afraid she might embarrass herself but she was incredible. the way she called andrew out not even scared if all the white men sitting there wouldn't believe a woman's harassment story, the way she talked about ted and ugh everything was great.

then, things started to go downhill. jen's relationship with the boys started declining again and it broke my heart (but i liked how henry asked for judy because he was sad and wanted to see her). and this anticipated what i elected (as if i have any room to say anything) to be the best scene of the show.

the garage scene. i have so many feelings towards it but at the same time i don't know how to express them.

first, judy said she was going to take the blame for charlie and that right there is what a mom would do (and finally they talked about judy's s*icide attempt). besides that, judy said that jen had a family and she couldn't lose that family, and then we realize how much it hurt her when her mom said she didn't have a family of her own (even though, in season one, jen said she was a part of their family).

linda and christina were brilliant in this bit. linda's expressions send me every time, and personally, i love it when she curses because it shows a side of her character that only comes out when she's really nervous and stressed, since she's always trying to see the good in everything. the way she raised her voice and said a lot of "fucks" really brought a different tone to the scene that we hadn't seen during the season.

jen had a lot of breakdowns during this season. but none of those were as exceptional as this one. ted fucked up her mind badly, and steve saying all those things triggered her to do what she did. imagine being married to a person for eighteen years and finding out, after his death, that he was cheating on you for a year and a half, that really must mess up with your self esteem and how you see yourself. jen is constantly thinking that everyone that she loves hates her and she ends up hating herself (as judy said "i wish you would love yourself more."). she is an extraordinary character and there's so much i still need to know about her.

now, here's something that bothered me. this scene was great, but i think jen was a bit out of character when she said "that's because you love anyone who just gives you a morsel of fucking attention, even if it's abusive. it's like you get off on it or something". honestly, the jen i know and have grown to love would never blame a woman for being abused, even if she was out of her mind for being upset. she saw how judy was mistreated by steve and she always knew he was toxic, but she would never say that to judy, as if she had any guilt on it.

this scene was so raw and chaotic but it was breathtaking, in a good way. judy's "i'm not like you" and their fight in front of the house, also judy's screams, everything was on point.

and then, jen got to see something we've been noticing for the past season and this one as well. when judy's stressed or hurt, she starts self-harming. it was never brought up before but it's something to watch out for. how many times did she curse at herself and hit herself in front of mirrors? and in the car she starts hitting herself really strongly when she's asking jen to stop. now, i don't know which part of her history this has to do with but i'd really like for them to get more into this, as it seems like a great storyline.

jen watching judy sleep and putting her hair behind her ear was so gay pure and i loved this scene so much.

EPISODE 10

what jen did for her family was beautiful, even if it didn't start that well. now, about her letter to judy, i sobbed so much reading that one.

this episode said a lot about diana's humanity. her and jen's talk about their mothers showed another side of her that i really liked. and i'm a sucker for motherhood storylines, so i cried a lot during that scene.

i liked this episode a lot too. loved to see charlie so worried about his mother for once in his life, and how well judy handles things as a mother.

now this is where i get mad. the scene where jen and judy are talking outside was the perfect setting for them to confess feelings. michelle felt like something that judy needed to replace steve, so it wouldn't last anyway (me hoping that she's not showing up on season 3), and because she had that experience, now she could love jen in a healthier way, in a way that maybe she couldn't before. there were so many 'i love you's and so many hugs and touches and no kiss and i was sad.

i loved the way jen said that judy needed to learn how to say no (and also, can she please stop saying sorry all the time? she's always making herself sad to make others happy-- i can't stop seeing myself in her). and it was genius how they used this thing to make her say no to her mom, who only wanted to see her to get out of prison, it showed her strenght.

the way they picked up jen's grief for her mom was really nice, i'd also like to learn more about that in the future. we could really understand where her anger comes from and why she despises herself so much.

and, baby, let me tell you, judy hale is a GENIUS. the money inside the paintings? i never saw that coming and i was so happy watching that scene! specially when she showed jen and they held hands. :(

charlie found the letters and he's finally getting to know what actually happened to his father (i'm guessing), and i wanna see his reaction. and i'm so here for their vacation! "talk to me like lovers do!" she really just keeps playing with my heart. (and jen calling judy "judes" was really cute.)

the last scene was something. them talking about the sign and then ben hitting them because he was drunk? i wasn't expecting that. and, as i said before, liz likes a good cliffhanger, but this one didn't seem that harsh. if she wanted to, she could've just left us in the dark about whether jen was alive or not, but she didn't, and i appreciated that.

i still don't know if this leaves room for another big storyline, maybe this should be something to be solved in the first two episodes of season three so they could jump into something more exciting, i don't know.

"i love you more than wine. thank you for loving me and our boys."

OVERALL THOUGHTS

i liked this season a lot. it felt a lot different from season one, the settings, the air. it was a bit more chaotic, i must say, and i do think they could've maybe chilled for a little bit and left the high point of stress being only on episodes 9 and 10. literally, everything was happening, all the time, and the only time they had to breathe was when they went dancing that night.

there was a shift in my feelings, for sure. last season i picked up on a lot of judy's mistakes and things she did that bothered me. this season, i did that more with jen, but i still love them so much istg i'd die for them (not to sound dramatic or anything lmao). it's just that last season i identified a lot more with jen's anger and behaviors, and in this one a saw a lot of myself in judy, and that might've prevented me from criticizing them as much in their respective moments.

i love this show to death, and i'm just waiting for award nominations that i'm sure will come. let's just hope that, this year, they also acknowledge linda's brilliant acting and even give both of them some awards.

this is me, (im)patiently waiting for a season 3 confirmation and i'm sure i'm just gonna rewatch everything for the next year like i did with season one.

i needed to talk about this season, and twitter doesn't give me enough space to do that, but this is not something i usually do. if you read all of this, you're brave, and i'm thankful for your attention.

now, can liz please make judy and jen girlfriends?

[semi-anonyme]

Historical Backdrops, Universality, and K-Dramas

July 21, 2020

11:58pm

Just on the brink of July 22. Hello. This entry will likely be the skeleton of some idea I try to write about down the road.

I’ve been working a bunch on myself lately, pondering the future, my dreams, and the actions I should take to follow my dreams and not lose my soul.

At the end of the day of doing this hard working at the day job and hard thinking in my head, all I want to do is sit on my shitty, peeling faux leather futon and watch a K-Drama.

I am so mentally spent at the end of some days doing a full-time job and part-time dreaming. I don’t want to watch a movie that’s of a style, hit or miss. I don’t want to watch dramatic people with too much plastic surgery yell at each other. I do not want to engage in plot twisting drama that I may or may not like to watch until the middle of season 2. I want that surefire feel-good story, not lazy and predictable but at least pleasing if formulaic.

That’s what K-Dramas have been giving me at the end of my long days.

Lately I’ve been introspecting such dense, heavy questions that really dig deep, going into details about who I want to be / what I’d like to do / what I’d like to accomplish / how long should I stay in my job / at what skillset would i like to try and freelance.

K-Dramas bring me out of my head and remind me of what’s most important in life because they deal with the same subject, over and over and over. At the end of the day, K-Dramas remind me that whether I’m a North Korean officer or the heiress of a chaebol, the general manager of an engineering firm married to a beautiful lawyer (who is cheating on him), a Joseon noblewoman turned rebel or American officer revisiting the country where he was a slave, or a high school girl just trying to get into college, in the end, there’s nothing more important in life than love.

While I used to think that watching such programs could only serve to rot my brain, I think these stories (and the amazing writing/directing/cinematography behind them) have actually done something else -- they’ve rehydrated my soul.

Are there super cheesy parts? Sure, absolutely. (examples of cheesiness include but are not limited to: excessive use of slow motion, excessive use of romantic music and close-ups when something romantic happens, characters having the perfect quip in an encounter, replays on replays on replays to emphasize important plot points to the more scatterbrained viewers, etc.,. )

But before, I used to think that cheesiness made dramas inherently bad. But I now that cheesiness is not indicative of quality it’s merely a component of the drama itself. You can’t listen to a dope trap beat and say, “ugh, that 808 is so formulaic” and you can’t eat Thai food and say, “ugh, curry paste, so predictable” because those components aren’t just fads they’re literally defining characteristics.

K-Dramas are kinda corny! That doesn’t make them bad though, and I’ve been super impressed with some of the misdirection that these shows have used.

I still haven’t dealt with historical backdrops + universality. Those are much shorter but I have to sleep now. Back to work tomorrow. Once I finish those parts I’ll probably just delete this entry and re-post.

[stoven-harrington]

Where did the time go (during the summer I spent with you)?

Steve Harrington X OC

Hey this is my first story I'm writing about my favourite boi Steve Harrington. I hope you guys enjoy it😍😍

Also shout out to the story Time Flies By by @harringtown for inspiring me to write this fic. She's really amazing so please check out her other fics

This happens a year after season 3, so Steve is now 20.

Steve Harrington AU in which Steve is dragged into 2019. With him here in the new modern world, going back to 1986 just might be possible. Time travel, new friends, old friends, with so much at hand, love shouldn’t be on the table. But life doesn’t always go as planned.

Chapter 1:  A Normal day with a side of concussion please

I came to visit my aunt’s place in Hawkins to house-sit for her over the summer break. Of course, this wasn’t my ideal summer plans (those included going to beaches and seeing my friends) but I knew that Auntie Maria needed someone to watch over the adorable pitbull Nico. I haven’t seen his dopey face in forever and I miss that fur ball. Walking up to the door, I barely had the chance to knock on the door before it busted open and Auntie Maria’s hand reached out and dragged me inside, pulling me into a hug.

“Oh thank god you’re here!” Her hair was a mess, eyes crinkling in happiness, her clothes slightly sloppy as she smiled at me. “God, it’s been forever since I last saw you! And I know who also missed you.” I hear the dog tags before I see the grey fur. Nico comes rushing and jumps on me, making me fall to the floor in a mountain of his kisses. A giggle pours out of me as I try to get up without Nico trying to jump on me again.

“Hey Auntie Maria, hi Nico. How’s my good boy? Did you miss me? Did ya? Did ya? I missed you!” His tail kept wagging a mile a minute as I pet his belly. Auntie Maria laughed at the both of us while pulling out her Polaroid, snapping a picture before I could protest.

“Awww just look at you two. So cute. Ahhh I wish I didn’t have to go so I can spend time with you both but you know? Work is work. Hey where’s your friend? I thought you guys would come together?” I finally stand up and look back at her.

“Nah, Saint said they’ll be here in a week or two. They got stuck with a project but they said they’ll head over after its done.” She nods absently while petting Nico.

“Alright, well at least you won’t be alone with Nico the whole summer. Oh, and if you need help or anything Joy said she’d be happy to lend a hand on anything okay?” I smiled hearing Joy’s name. That lovely little Filipino lady was one of best highlights of this place, besides my aunt and dog of course.

“Oh I like Joy, she makes the absolute BEST food. Her sinigang* is to DIE for and UGHHH I just love her.” She laughs as she grabs her phone.

“Yea she’s the best neighbor I could ever ask. Make sure to say hi to her when you see her and hey, maybe you could even help her out with gardening and stuff. Her son isn’t coming over this summer because of his job so it’s just her and Marcus.”

______________________________________________________________

Auntie Maria didn’t really have a lot of time to talk but she did mention that she stocked the house with food for a month or two and that I could use anything in the house as long as I didn’t use her weed (this is one of the reasons why I love Auntie Maria). She also said I could get a job if I wanted to earn a buck, but I figured I’d be busy exploring the rest of the town I haven’t seen and whatnot so whatever. Besides, I earned a lot from my job at home so I was well off for the summer. She parted ways after hugging me and Nico and drove like the speed demon she is as I waved her off. Nico whined a bit until I took him for a walk and briefly said hello to Joy and her husband. There wasn’t really a lot to do after putting my stuff away and before I realized it, it was night. Saint texted me about their project and I filled them in on my short day while making myself some fried rice.

Benefits to house sitting for Auntie Maria: I have 3 choices of bedrooms. She never told me why she had a lot of bedrooms other than giving the regular ol’ excuse of “guest rooms”. I always felt like she was lying about it since I would find items in the rooms that I knew didn’t belong to her, but it was her business and I wasn't gonna pry. Picking at random with a metal bat in hand (Auntie Maria still kept my softball equipment from high school since mom was gonna throw it out), I walked into the bedroom furthest from the stairs on the second floor and laughed at Nico hopping on the bed before me.

“Hey you punk, I was gonna sit in it first!” He barked in response and quickly got comfortable as I placed the bat next to my side of the bed and got under the sheets. It wasn’t long until he scooted himself by my feet and soon after, my eyelids started to droop. Sleepiness was creeping on me as I whispered, “Night Nico.”

________________________________________________________________

It was supposed to be a typical night for Steve: he was expecting to walk around the forest lake in peace while he gathered his thoughts on what college to choose. He did this every so often away from his children rugrat-group of friends, especially his favorite, since he wanted them to care for themselves and not him. At that point of the night, he’d get get closer to the lake and try to skip rocks, watching his rocks just sink into the water. After that, he would head back to his car and go home, sneak into his room and knock out.

But this wasn’t supposed to happen: getting snatched by some slimy creature and squirming out of it but not before the creature cut him with its claws(?). Steve barely had time to think as he fled to his car, not realizing the big gash on his leg was starting to bleed. Could he make it to the car? Why couldn’t he just have a normal night? Was it really that hard to ask for?

“Shit! Just one time!” He exclaimed

He was trying to grab the walkie and bat he left in the car to warn his friends but as his fingers brushed the car door, the claws came back once more and grabbed his ankle. Steve struggled to get the creature to let go by kicking, however, the creature learned its lesson and grabbed both of his legs as they went through a slimy portal of a tree. This had to be the end for him, what else was there to live for? He hadn’t even found a girl he liked aside from Robin since she just don’t swing that way. Man, this blows

Expecting to see the upside down and the creature’s mouth above his face, he was pleasantly surprised to see neither of those things and instead was just lying on the ground of the forest again. Fuck that, if he had a chance to get away, he was taking it. Without a second to spare, he jumped up and looked down at himself.  The stupid creature ripped his jeans and he finally noticed the bleeding.

“Dammit, and these were my favorite pair and I’m bleeding all over…” Just then, the growl of a creature nearby jumped him back to his senses. He recognized the sound was unnatural and tried to strain his ears to hear what direction the creature was hiding in. The growl came closer and a rustle of leaves tipped him that the creature was on his right and he sped towards his left, hauling ass without second guessing himself. He couldn’t hear the creature anymore because of his own heartbeat pounding in his ears but he noticed houses starting to take form in his field of view and ran towards the closest. Someone just had to be up right? There's always one person who can’t sleep right? God, he prayed for an insomniac, someone to let him in.  

That was short-lived however because while he was so focused on getting to the door, he didn’t notice the stupid rock in his way and tripped, hitting his head on yet another stupidly placed rock and knocking out in the progress. He didn’t even see the light turning on in the house in front of him or hear the creature creeping closer. Talk about having a shitty night.

  *Sinigang*= a Filipino soup that can be with either pork or chicken, spinach, tamarind, ginger and others. The soup is really good if you have the chance to try it, do it. Doesn't hurt to try something at least once right?

This story is on archive of our own and has more chapters there but I will post the rest of the chapters

Part II

[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 7x17 brain dump

So, this week’s episode was ok. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great. I had expected to not really be fussed by this week’s offering and as such wasn’t deeply disappointed. I really missed my Olicity babies in this episode though. The upside of the episode being a bit meh, is that this review didn’t take me 57 years to write, which whilst sick, was a bonus haha!!

Olicity

Olicity weren’t the focus of this episode, but we still managed to get some cute little moments and touches thrown in there. Felicity’s praise when Oliver came back to the lair looking like a prize fighter, was too cute! I love how smitten she still is with him even after all this time, and how bashful and blushing and gorgeous he gets in response is just 😍😍

Source: olicitygifs

We also got a lovely little comfort scene once Oliver realised that Emiko was in fact evil (shocker, I know). Felicity cupping Oliver’s face whilst stroking her baby belly was so damned adorable!!

Source: oliverxfelicity

Continued under the cut

Oliver

Oliver being so open and trusting and just happy to be training with Emiko was so lovely and so heartbreaking because you just knew she would let him down. He mentioned Thea (yay!) and said that she’d always wanted a sister 😭😭 Why does this leave me feeling like Thea is gonna come back and try and kill Emiko??

I also loved seeing Oliver telling people the truth straight up, when asked how he knew about Emiko, listening to Dig’s advice (if not his wife’s) and just being an all-round hopeful bean!!  The growth he shows is amazing, it’s just a shame that his hope and faith in his sister didn’t pay off. He so badly wants to be in her life, to help her be good, and in turn redeem the Queen family name in her eyes. His line “If I abandon her now I’m no better than my father” just made me so sad. His parents were so important to him he wants them redeemed, so in turn it can redeem him too (not that he needs it). I don’t think he does, or will, find out just how much of a shitty Dad Robert was to Emiko, which is a shame, as I think it would give him some peace that some things just cannot be redeemed and that it isn’t a reflection on him. He had such faith in Emiko being good, he still didn’t think of her at first when he found the signal jammer in the lair. Even now I think he will continue trying to bring her back, despite Dig’s advice and reminder that sometimes evil siblings are just evil siblings 😂 I hope this isn’t foreshadowing Oliver having to kill Emiko like Dig did with Andy?

Bonus: Oliver shooting all the drones was so damn hot 🔥🔥

Source: legends-of-today

Felicity

Our girl didn’t have a huge role this week, but what we did get was fabulous! Felicity’s little pep talk to herself at the beginning of the episode about having it all was too adorable for words! 

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

We got to see the beginnings of Smoak Technologies, along with the first name drop of the company I think? I love that she brought Alena in to be CTO, she gets to have a friend in her company that won’t try and mansplain everything to her at last!! Alena’s reaction is all of us!

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

It was so nice to see her back as Overwatch on the comms, and just generally people being back in the lair! We even got a couple of OTA moments! I loved her “computers will never replace people” line too!

Bonus: Felicity being cute in the lair gives me life!

Source: ebett

Emiko/Robert

This was really Emiko’s villain origin episode. We saw her as a child being evicted and abandoned by Robert, who yet again, proves to be the scum of the earth, and the true villain of the entire series. Upon overhearing that Robert was kicking them out of their home and would no longer support them, the only words of comfort he had for her were “Life isn’t fair, we don’t always get what we want”…Robert Queen was a prize dick!! His reasons for abandoning his family? Moira will take his company, money and kids if he doesn’t. GTFO you philandering old bastard, you made your bed…lie in it! Ugh he was the actual worst!

So as a penniless and possibly homeless 11 year old in Starling City, Emiko naturally turns to a life of crime in order to support her and her mother when she meets Dante. (For the record, I found the younger Emiko far more compelling to watch than the adult version 😬) Dante evidently enrols her into the Ninth Circle, who present her with a gift, as her final induction…the plans to blow up the Queen’s Gambit. She goes back to Robert with a business plan for a new subsidiary of Queen Consolidated, a chance to prove herself to her family and earn some money, and despite the solid plan, Robert wants nothing to do with it, telling her that QC is Oliver’s legacy and that she needs to remain a secret, before leaving her again for his trip on the Gambit. Crestfallen and angry, she doesn’t show him the plans and lets him leave to meet his fate.  The horrible irony here is that Emiko would have failed the Ninth Circle’s ‘test’ and saved Robert/Oliver/Sara, had Robert not been such a massive douchenozzle.

I like that they managed to link everything with Emiko back to the Gambit, and they did so without retconning. Malcolm still had the yacht sabotaged, but it looks like he did it via the Ninth Circle.  The big ‘twist’ we see at the end of the episode is that Emiko is now, in fact, the leader of the Ninth Circle, not Dante, and as such appears to be the season’s Big Bad. Part of me is like yaaaasss female Big Bad woohoo! But then the way it has come about has been lacklustre to say the least, and we weren’t given the time (or the writing) to get to like Emiko in order to actually care or feel the impact or shock value of her turning on Oliver. Instead we’re just all left feeling a bit meh.

Emiko still seems to have a soft spot for Rene (someone has to I guess) and with both of them being Oliver/Team Arrow traitors, they make a good fit 😜  We also found out that she still hasn’t found her mother’s killer. Maybe if Oliver could help her solve her mother’s murder and Rene keeps making eyes at her she will come back round to the good side??? Doubtful haha, but just a suggestion. The season’s theme is redemption after all!

Black Siren

Whilst Oliver is at home, preparing dinner for wifey (adorbs), he gets a visit from an injured Laurel, looking for Felicity. Instead, she tells Oliver about Emiko killing Diaz, and not being as squeaky clean as he thinks. This, as to be expected, leads to a confrontation between the two, which is interesting, because we all know that Laurel is telling the truth. When accused of having a blind spot for his family, Oliver hits back with “it’s called loyalty, I know that’s a concept you don’t totally understand”. Burn. Their scenes are so much better when they are open in their dislike for each other! Much as I have enjoyed Felicity and BS friendship this season, the petty bitch in me still laughs at Oliver’s clear disdain for her…he didn’t even help her with her wound, just gave her some supplies and left her to it 😂😂 He ‘helps’ her here purely for Felicity’s sake, which is lovely though!

Next, Dinah gets on her arse about doing things by the book, which ordinarily I would agree with, but Dinah is a vigilante herself! And although they are now sanctioned by the SCPD, Dinah has herself coerced witnesses, stolen evidence and violated the law in about a dozen other ways in her pursuit of justice.  This is the premise of the show people! The hypocrisy is real! BS is just a little further behind on her journey than Dinah. Dinah later accuses BS of killing the gangster guy (I wasn’t really paying attention to who he was), bringing up her killing Vinnie, which immediately gets her back up. BS says that she has earned the benefit of the doubt, which I agree with to an extent. Dinah then effectively washes her hands of her.

I can empathise with BS for trying to do the right thing, and not being believed/trusted by anyone. I think it was intentional to not see a scene with her and Felicity this week, so as to keep her feeling isolated, whereas Felicity would have believed/reassured her. Felicity even defended her in the bunker to Rene. The episode finishes up with Emiko ‘outing’ her to the press, and ‘setting her free’ to be evil again. This will all set up her apparent return to her evil roots next week. I think she will ultimately end up being redeemed. We know (I think we know?) she is leaving for good after next week’s episode, so hopefully she will go back off to Earth 2 or something like that to become Black Canary there, and she can take all her little comic book friends with her, and everyone will be happy!

Other stuff

The drone attack in this episode was a practice run. Is this sarin gas attack going to be the thing that brings down the city, and causes it to turn on Oliver and the team?

Was the episode synopsis written whilst on crack?? I know we all laughed a little bit when we first saw how it was worded, but after watching the episode it was literally nothing like what actually happened??

Why on earth did they bring in Highlander, just for him to end up being Emiko’s lackey?? It’s like Cayden James/Michael Emerson being usurped by Diaz all over again!

Source: arrowdaily

I miss the flash-forwards!! I need me some Mia/William/Felicity goodness now please!!!

Anyway thank you as always to the gifmakers. Fabulous work as ever! 💗

[flower-of-the-desert]

City of Bones Thoughts

So full disclosure, I came into this with hella low expectations and prepared for the worst thing I’ve ever read basically. Many of that is because of the comments I’ve seen from other people and if I’m being completely honest? I disagree with about 90% of the things I’ve seen them say about this book. So there’s that. My thoughts in no particular order are below, I’ll try to keep it brief since otherwise it’s gonna get sooo long (my notes ended up being 14 pages which I debated whether I should just post them or not but decided to just give a summed up version instead).

Overall, I enjoyed this book a whole lot more than I ever thought I would and I love that. I absolutely loved many things from world-building elements to character interactions and conflicts and resolutions and I’m definitely looking forward to the next ones.

1) I like the writing style; one thing I’ve always liked about CC’s books is that it’s easy to read them because the writing isnt some pretentious attempt at sounding smart, it’s simple and easy to understand and I very much enjoy that. And it’s actually a bit better than TID? which I didnt expect but in TID there were a lot - and I mean a lot - of repetitions and the same descriptions used a million times in like a page-two pages max which was kind of annoying and I thought it would be the same here but it wasnt which again, I enjoyed very much.

2) I like the basic idea of the plot, there was nothing super shocking about it, of course, since I’ve already watched the show but I like the idea of the whole hidden world, angels vs demons, warlocks, magic, vampires and werewolves and all that; I’ve said before and I’ll say again, one of my favourite - if not the favourite - things about these series is the universe that it created. It has some of my all time favourite tropes and world-building elements and it’s the first thing I fell in love with.

3) I like Hodge being the guy backstabbing the heroes and the foreshadowing of that; it was subtle enough that if I didnt know I wouldnt immediately realise it but if I reread the book or read it already knowing what he’ll do it’s super fun to pick up on the little clues.

4) I loved that we actually got a resolution to the Clary/Alec conflict - and a satisfactory one at that! I absolutely didnt expect there to be one but I adore that their big fight was properly addressed and they both handled it in a mature responsible way.

5) Speaking of the big fight - one of my favourite scenes of the book! And one of the things I strongly disgaree that it was So PrObLeMaTiC; I mean yes, both of them were wrong to act the way they did, absolutely, but like people arent always fucking perfect? Sometimes they do bad things, they lash out and hurt other people in a moment of high emotions, etc. It doesnt make them terrible people forever more (especially if they apologize and realise their mistakes, which both  Clary and Alec did). So in that repsect I fucking loved that scene - it was emotional, it was ugly but incredibly true to both characters and what they’ve been bottling up since the start of the story. And like I said, it had an actual resolution which makes it even better.

6) Another favourite scene - MAGNUS (is anyone surprised anymore). Every time Magnus was in a scene or was mentioned I might have definitely screamed. It be my brand. The scene where the gang goes to him for help is just amazing - everything about it; some many things going on, Magnus’s reluctance to help shadowhunters vs his fondness for Clary, Jace trying to blackmail him with the treath of the Clave like a typical shadowhunter, Alec’s quiet observations of Magnus and how he was the first and only one to not get upset with him and to assure him his past isnt his fault (also speaking of that, if Magnus shared his past with his step-father in this scene then doesnt that create a slight plot hole with TRSOM where he shares the same story with Alec? Although I assumed this was the first time Alec was hearing it but I dont think anything indicated this int he scene itself? Also Magnus was very brief here and didnt go into details so that could also be a reason). Magnus’s struggle to express to Clary that different doesnt always mean better and also how upset he got with the implication that he might have done something to “break” her when all he’s ever wanted was to help - I love him so damn much. Also I love love how utterly unimpressed he is with shadowhunters still and how badass bossy he is and how he still managed to slip in some knock-downs on the Clave and shadowhunters by reminding Clary she isnt better than the rest of them.

7) “Keep it in your pants, shadowhunter” only a true King(TM) can open his introduction scene like this.

Also “Not for free, darling, and you cant afford me” -  BEST LINE OF THE WHOLE BOOK

8) Magnus throwing a birthday party for his cat - ❤️❤️❤️

9) Another scene I love and I think it did a great job of setting up both characters is the convo bw Alec and Isabelle while Clary is unconscious - I made a seperate post just about that because I liked it that much but basically I love that we see Isabelle being rather judgemental while Alec - the gay shadowhunter living in a unaccepting society is the one that seems to be missing that quality and comes to the defence of people more often than not.

10) Speaking of Alec, I really really like him so far; he’s sweet and clever and sarcastic in a different way than Jace and apparently has the one brain cell of the whole Institute 99% of the time (the other 1% is when  Church has it) which is just a perfect recipe for a favourite character in my dictionary. I hope I keep liking him because after three seasons of wanting to punch show!Alec in the face, I really need this. Another agrument I disagree with comes with Alec’s fighting skills and people saying CC made her gay character deliberately weak... but like the narrative explicitly points out several times that Alec hasnt killed a demon yet not because he’s weak but because he focused on watching Jace and Izzy’s backs and using more defensive tactics rather than offensive. And then in the fight with Abbadon all of them are shown to be shaking in fear and basically useless against the demon, not only Alec. Jace - the golden hero - cant do anything either so I fail to see this as a slight against Alec. The fact that Isabelle and Jace arent dead yet should be proof enough that Alec is good at his job.

11) people getting called out for doing/saying shitty things at various points - I love that song

12) there’s a lot more self-awareness than I originally anticipated.

13) “You need to know someone to love them” - book!Alec be speaking from my soul

14) I liked rat!Simon 100% more than human!Simon and that should tell you all you need to know about my feelings about him.

15) the finale scene between Clary, Luke, Jace and Valentine - I loved that. Although I knew what would happen it still gripped me in a way I didnt expect and I was practically on the edge of my seat. The way Jace struggled with his feeling for his father, Clary trying to break him out of it, Luke and Valentine facing off - there was so much emotion going on and characters pushing each other and interacting in meaningful ways and arh, I loved it.

16) Jace’s portrayl as an abuse victim makes so much sense like every word and action makes sense given his backstory and it really makes me feel for him... except that one scene where he manipulates Alec into coming with them when he didnt want to by hitting on his insecurities. That was one thing I wished had also been addressed in the end.

17) Things I didnt enjoy - the girl hate between Clary and Isabelle and Simon’s nice guy bullshit. Both can kindly fuck off. Those are probably my biggest complains in this book which I hope with that ending we’re going to fix at least the first issue.

[swanhookheart]

Stranger Things 3 Review

This post will contain spoilers for Stranger Things season 3, so if you haven’t finished the season, please do so before reading. You’ve been warned!

Stranger Things has lost its touch.

I can’t put it any more simply than that. This season was, quite frankly, bad. Bad. Really bad. 

Below, I will do my best to succinctly outline why I think that is. I’m not going to write up a whole long report, I just want to give some bullet points while it’s still fresh. Being that it’s fresh, this’ll be on the raw, unedited side of things (as most of my posts are, let’s be honest). 

Billy. He died before he had a proper arc. Yeah, the whole season has been “about” him. But virtually none of that was actually him. We knew he was an asshole to pretty much everybody around him, liked to work out, and was happy one time on the beach. Okay, great? We hardly got to know the guy before the show offed him, though (and btw, what a Snape-like death... the guy’s a dick for his entire adult life, and I’m just supposed to buy his Big Sacrifice™ there at the end??? *sigh*). His entire purpose in the series was just... that. For me, it didn’t carry as much weight as it could have. He wasn’t a particularly dynamic character, so it didn’t hit as hard as it was probably intended to. 

Omniscience. The characters this season seemed to know everything, right from the go. There was no puzzle to solve, no “oh shit, no way!” moment, no real conspiracy to unravel. The monster’s back. The gate’s open again. It’s under the mall. It’s the Russians. I cannot say there was a single point this season during which anything even remotely surprising happened. Everything was just kind of obvious. To the characters, to the audience (except Planck’s Constant, whatever the fuck that is), none of it was new. It was predictable and stale.

Gross-outs = cop-outs. I’m used to being creeped out and seeing a little bit of gross stuff on the show, but we got two close-ups of vomit, several dozen exploding corpses, several more corpses being fried alive on-screen, and Jonathan full-on reaching inside Eleven’s leg. I’m likely missing some stuff in there, but the point still stands. According to Stephen King, revulsion is the lowest level of horror. When a film (or television show, in this case) doesn’t have anything of substance to share with its audience, resort to grossing them out! I really got the sense that, if I took out the “ewww” factor, there was nothing much of value that this season contributed to the series as a whole. At least, nothing it hadn’t already explored. 

Political statements aren’t their thing. Kline’s carnival... I watch shows like Stranger Things to get away from the constant onslaught of political news that makes me want to scream. Kline’s sign was nearly identical to Trump’s campaign signs. Kline was a Russian puppet. Kline spent boatloads of taxpayer money on an Independence Day celebration nobody really asked for. There were some references to the current administration that much of Twitter seems to have noticed, and I guess that was the showrunners trying to say something political. Don’t get me wrong, I’m team #resistance. But it felt really on the nose, and this is coming from someone who usually enjoys those sorts of things either in comedies or dystopian dramas like THT, where it matches the mood and theme of the show. This just didn’t feel like the time or place. 

Been there, done that. Season 2 managed to be fresh, fun, and even more exciting than the first, if I’m honest (though nothing will ever compare to that classic holiday light scene... just the way of the world). It brought in the concept of the Mind Flayer being able to have satellites. It introduced the “hive mind” concept of the monster. This season... Same monster, same antics, but this time with a side order of guts and snot! There were new things brought to the table last season, like other psychic kids, Eleven/Jane’s backstory, some history on the program, etc. But this season it was more of the same. 

No payoff. I sat through an entire eight hours’ worth of meh (at best) television only to watch my favorite character (Hop, def not BIlly) be killed off, the gang split up, and absolutely nobody left better off as a result of any of this. Ffs, if you told me I’d feel this shitty at the end of the season, I’d have been first in line to let the fleshy gut squid suck my face off. I mean, did the writers suffer a collective aneurysm, orr??? I kept waiting for the season to get good and then it just got so. much. worse. Everyone’s dead, everyone’s apart, everything’s gone to shit. The end. 🤗 This ending wasn’t consistent with the endings of the last two seasons, and for a series finale (I’m assuming this is the series finale because there’s nowhere to go from here; also, David Harbour being gone will leave a gaping void in the show...) that definitely wasn’t a strong way to end things. 

This season lacked all of the charm of the previous two seasons, imho. As far as disappointing seasons of amazing television series go, I think Stranger Things 3 is second only to Game of Thrones season 8. Yep, I said that. 

⭐️⭐️◾️◾️◾️

2/5 stars, if only for the fact that I loved the cinematography and set design. 

[thorne93]

Whirlwind Romance (Part 3)

Prompt: You’re getting married to Chris Evans… Everything in your life is perfect… Except when you break the news to your two best friends: Tom Hiddleston and Sebastian Stan

Word Count: 1847

Warnings: language, anger, angst, adult themes??

Notes: This is for @carryonmyswansong challenge (Double Season, Multifaceted, 500 Follower Celebration, Writing Challenge!): Prompt – You’re marrying the wrong person! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes bcuz shes amazing and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo@carryonmyswansong for letting me brainstorm with them. Got this idea from @formyfandoms… Fic image made by the super bomb @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The wedding still hadn’t moved any closer to any planning. No colors were chosen, no location set, no dresses looked at. Part of the lack of planning was you were just too busy. The other part was Chris finding the time and needing to be home, or you at his home. But so far, that hadn’t come.

Which meant you weren’t sure if you should announce an engagement party or not, if you didn’t know any details about the wedding. People would be asking you and talking about it, wondering about it, and you’d have no answer. However, Chris really wanted his family to come around soon to celebrate the engagement and possibly talk about the wedding, so he was pushing for a party.

So now, you were trying to find a time that fit both schedules, soon, to throw an engagement party.

Filming for your new movie was next week, and your co-star was Tom. The two of you decided to run lines at your house one night, which ended up being a lot less about work and a lot more about drinking wine, thanks to his considerate gift.

Tom arrived at your doorstep, wine and flowers in hand -- they just happened to be your favorite. He was donning one of your favorite colors on him. A teal sweater with black jeans, an ensemble that you always thought looked rather good on him.

“Oh, wow, what is all this for?” you wondered as you took the things from him and stepped aside to let him in.

“Last I checked you had a movie that just hit theaters,” he reminded and you quickly smiled.

“Oh! Right, yes. Thank you so much. God these smell so good,” you noted, closing your eyes to take in the fragrance. “And my favorite wine! Care for some?” you offered and he bowed and gestured to your kitchen.

“I’d love some.”

You couldn’t help but feel a little… funny. Tom had gotten you these flowers, a small, but thoughtful gift. Chris hadn’t even mentioned it once. He had barely even said anything about it, let alone think of getting you a gift for it. Come to think of it… Chris had never gotten you a gift for any of your career achievements, and Tom usually celebrated with a dinner, a bottle of wine, flowers, a new book…

Chris was perfect in a lot of ways, in fact, he was almost too perfect. But it would be nice if maybe he gave up some of his other great habits for acknowledging your success.

“Oh, before we get started, I have some news,” you began, nervous to tell him for some reason. Announcing it still felt… rather strange.

“Oh? I’m all ears,” Tom stated with that dazzling smile as he put his hands on the kitchen island and leaned forward slightly.

You held up your hand, showcasing the massive diamond. “Chris and I are engaged.”

Tom’s eyebrow quirked up. “Engaged? You’re getting married?” he asked, his voice soft, his eyes glistening. “That’s… amazing. Truly. I’m happy for you. I suppose congratulations are in order. I wish I had brought champagne now, instead of wine.”

You peered at him, cocking your head to the side. “Are you okay?” you questioned, stepping around the island to stand in front of him.

“Yes, of course, darling, why wouldn’t I be? I’m just happy for you. These are happy tears,” he promised before taking you in an embrace.

“Well, thank you,” you said, hoping all was well with your best friend. After a moment, the hug ended.

“You don’t sound too thrilled. Neither did Seb,” you noted. Why would Seb and Tom both seem sad by this? Shouldn’t they have been thrilled for you? Your eyes widened as you realized why they both seemed bummed about this news. “Oh, I get it.”

“You do?” Tom inquired, frowning.

“Yeah, you and Seb are worried that when Chris and I tie the knot I’ll forget about you two, or be around less, or we won’t be the three musketeers anymore,” you noted.

Tom nodded his head side to side. “I didn’t think I was so transparent,” he said with a low laugh.

You shrugged. “You usually aren’t, but I can always tell when somethings up. But I promise nothing will come between us. Married or not, I’m still your go to girl,” you swore with a huge grin. You raised your glass. “To weddings and other milestones,” you toasted.

“Here, here,” he said before clinking glasses with you.

Shortly after, you broke apart and got some more wine. As soon as the two of you got your glasses, you grabbed your scripts and began running lines. All was well and good for the first two hours but then you started to feel less like working and more like reminiscing.

Just as you got done reading one of the lines, you laid your script down and looked over at Tom. “You know what this reminds me of?” you asked, prompting his eyes to flash up to yours.

“Hmm?”

“That time at RADA. Remember? We put on Much Ado About Nothing?”

“Yes, of course,” he responded with a slight smile.

“Doesn’t Don John remind you of the character Eric in this story?” you asked, making him think and then start laughing.

“Oh my god, it does,” he agreed, still giggling. “And the night that Will almost set the stage on fire during rehearsal!” he recalled, pointing at you hoping you remembered.

“Yes! Oh my god. That was so scary, and funny. He came to rehearsal drunk, didn’t he?” you asked, trying to remember why Will, a fellow student, was stumbling around.

“Yeah, we had a late rehearsal, and he’d been drinking all day, and he fell into the candelabra, lighting the stage curtain on fire.”

You shook your head. “Oh my god, what a crazy night. Then we had to rehearse out in the back alley because Simon didn’t want us to miss a beat.”

“He was one of the toughest directors I’ve ever worked with,” Tom remarked, seemingly impressed.

“I’ll say. He had me learn that play forwards and backwards.”

“Well you were the star, darling,” he gently reminded.

“True.”

“‘I do love nothing in the world so well as you- is not that strange?’” Tom quoted quietly, almost as if to himself.

You tried to access your memory to follow up the quote, and by some stroke of a miracle, you did. “‘As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you; but believe me not, and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.’”

Tom smiled appreciatively at you. “I’m so thrilled you remember all that. Most people forget it as soon as they leave.”

You shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for some Shakespeare,” you casually said with a shrug. The fact of the matter however, was that it was something you loved that you and Tom could basically speak in Shakespeare. Almost a secret language in a way, between you two.

Your phone began buzzing on the coffee table so you ran to pick it up, only to see that it was Chris.

“Hey, it’s Chris,” you informed to Tom before stepping out of your open living room - kitchen floor plan. “Hey!” you greeted happily, excited to hear his voice for the first time in a couple days.

“Hey,” he greeted back equally excited. “So how’s the location hunt been going?”

“Well I wanted to talk to you about that,” you started. “Would you want a garden wedding or...?”

“Why? Do you not? It was your idea.”

“Yeah, but I was just throwing something out other than the beach since you didn’t seem to be thrilled with that idea.”

“Babe, I don’t care where we get married, really. At this point, I just want it to happen. We’ve got a little over six months to throw this thing together.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Okay, I’ll pick three places and you choose the one you like, sound good?” you offered.

“Sounds perfect.”

“How’s New York? Seen Seb at all?”

“You know, I’m your fiance, you should be only asking about me,” he joked, you could hear the smile in his voice, making one of your own pop up.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. How is it?”

“Exhausting. I mean, if I fuck up a line while filming we can do it again, but here, you have to be on your fucking toes.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, welcome to Tom’s and my world. It’s not so easy,” you said with a playful sneer.

“I have a whole new respect for this theater thing,” he said thoughtfully.

“Well good, it deserves it.”

“I should be home in a few days, by the way.”

“Oh? Don’t you have to put on the play?”

“Nah, they want us to take a break so we don’t get burned out, and come back fresh,” he informed.

“Wow, what a great break. We can get some wedding planning done and you can help me with the guest list for the engagement party,” you excitedly mentioned.

“Happy to. Just point me where to go.”

“That, I can do,” you said with a chuckle.

“Oh, shit, we’re starting back up. I gotta run. Don’t forget, three places. Send ‘em to me,” he firmly ordered.

“Aye, aye, Cap’n…”

“Love you.”

“You too. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

The phone call ended and you went back in the kitchen where Tom was still fluffing the bright bouquet on our kitchen island. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for Tom to know where everything was at in your house or make himself at home. In fact, you practically insisted on it since you were such a shitty hostess.

“Tom, those look amazing,” you gushed. “Thank you so much.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. So, how is the fiance?” he asked sweetly.

“He’s already giving up on some of the wedding decisions,” you informed with a light laugh.

Tom’s frown made you feel like you should elaborate so you did. You waved your statement off with your hand before adding, “I mean, he just wants to get married, he doesn’t care where. So he’s leaving it up to me, so I guess I have homework to do.”

“Oh? Mind if I help?” he offered.

“No! Please! By all means! We have fifty states to check the best wedding venue and I have to pick the top three.”

“Sounds like quite the challenge. I think you’ll need an extra pair of hands.”

“I really do,” you said with a grin.

“I shall help you as soon as I get dinner finished.”

“Dinner? You’re making dinner?”

“I may have bought everything for spaghetti bolognese,” he informed with a mischievous playful expression.

Your mouth dropped as you gasped excitedly. “Oh my god! My favorite! Man you’re really spoiling me tonight! Okay, yes, you get that done and I’ll start the hunt.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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WR Tag:

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